#I gave it a fake Email just to see how it works

[emile-hides]

Me, everytime I get access to an AI chatbot: But what if we touched on the nature of humanity and the inevitable rise of machines as we continue to do what we can to give them the required sentience to be our companions

[tinycoffeeroom]

birds of a feather | daniel ricciardo

face claim: N/A ♡

request: here !

pairing: daniel ricciardo x british!reader

cw: mentions of chr*stian horner, singapore gp 2024

a/n: sorry for the long hiatus but i just had to come back and make something for danny. i've loved that man since i got into f1 and the idea that i won't see him on track anymore hurts so deeply. thank you for the memories honey badger, you will always have a place here on tinycoffeeroom <3

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Hi baby.

Hi love.

You sound exhausted, did you not sleep well last night?

Not really, I've been trying to go over strategies with the team, but nothing seems to be working. There's no way I'm getting in the points this week.

I'm sorry Danny, I know how much you've been working on this...

Have you asked them about that power unit thingy you were talking about?

Yeah... they don't have the time to test it and add it in before this race or even COTA.

What about the new rear wing?

Well...

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Anyway, enough about this shit show. How are you, darling? I miss you.

I miss you too, pretty boy. It sucks that this conference overlaps the race, I wish I was there so bad. Just wanna hug you.

Me too, y/n. Me too. I'm coming back as soon as the race is over. At least we have 4 weeks before the next one. Did you manage to book time off?

I did! 2 whole weeks to follow you across the globe watching you strut your stuff! Hopefully we can get Horsey back for the memories.

Blake's been emailing the owner, so hopefully Horsey will make a reappearance. (LAUGHS)

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Oh wait, Helmut's calling me, I'll call you back babe.

Ok! Lemme know what he says!

Always do. Love you.

Love you too pretty boy.

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It had been a last minute decision, choosing to fly out to Singapore. You knew Daniel would never put his own needs above yours, and while the conference was important for your career, he was important to you too.

It had been easy getting everything sorted. By the time you were texting Blake about flying over, he had already sent you a message, a simple "you know?".

A quick email to your boss, a semi lie spun about a family emergency, and a whirlwind of packing bags later, you found yourself sitting in Heathrow.

Your fingers twitched nervously as you checked the time differences between England and Singapore, double checking Daniel wouldn't find it strange if you didn't respond to his texts for the next 13 hours.

Your flight left at 8PM Singapore time, that gave you at least 10 hours before he would wake up for the race.

Blake had sneakily upgraded your tickets to first class so you could sleep comfortably on the flight and be ready to go straight into race day, or night, when you landed.

Tapping your phone awake, you smile at the lock screen staring back at you.

You and Daniel had gone away with a few other couples from the grid, a well needed break from the stress of Formula 1. In the midst of a late night beach walk with Charles and Alex, Daniel had grabbed your thighs, hoisting you over his shoulder.

Your shrieks of laughter had drawn some weird looks from those around you, but neither of you cared. You'd clawed your way back, legs settling tightly around Daniel's waist as his arms wrapped tightly around yours.

You didn't even notice the flash of Alex's phone, too enthralled in the wide smile encapsulating the man holding you, all teeth and gums and happiness dripping from him like sweet honey. A quick peck to the bridge of his nose and then the corner of his mouth was enough for him to lower you gently to the ground, arms still encompassing you tightly. 

The sound of Charles fake gagging beside you finally pulled the two of you out of the lovesick stupor you'd been caught in, eyes roaming the shadows cast across your lover's face from the fading sunset. 

When Alex had texted you the photo once you were back in the hotel room, limbs wrapped around one another in the cool, air conditioned room, you'd chuckled lightly, drawing Daniel's attention. 

"What's so funny?" The hand gripping your thigh draped lazily across his lap squeezed once, thumb rubbing back and forth soothingly. 

Turning the phone to face him, you watched his eyes light up, that same dazzling smile spreading as he took in the photo. 

"Send that to me."

You hummed in response, airdropping the photo to him as he pulled your thigh higher up his lap. As he leaned forward, lips searching for yours under the dim lamp light, you quickly set the photo as your lock screen, no doubt in your mind that Daniel would soon do the same. 

A tannoy drags you back to the present. 

"All passengers for flight SIA324, please make your way to the gate. Boarding will begin in 15 minutes."

Typing out a quick goodnight message to Daniel, you pocket your phone, sighing as you make your way towards what could be the last time you see Daniel in a Formula 1 car.

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ynstagram uploaded three stories to their close friends

replies:

lilymhe 💔 if i knew you were coming to singapore, i would have come too! ↳ ynstagram was a last minute decision sorry babe xx ↳ lilymhe ... don't tell me ↳ ynstagram 🙃

maxverstappen1 how did you get time off?? i thought you were super busy with work ↳ ynstagram claimed a family emergency, even if danny doesn't want me here, i needed to come ↳ maxverstappen1 he needs you y/n, more than i think even he knows

landonorris does dan know you're coming? ↳ ynstagram nope, blocked him from my close friends for a bit ↳ landonorris sneaky, i like it ↳ landonorris see you soon y/n, glad you'll be here :)

iamrebeccad you're coming to the gp??? come to ferrari hospitality if you can!!!! alex misses you 🥺 ↳ ynstagram don't think i'll be leaving vcarb this weekend, we can meet up for brunch soon though 🩷 ↳ iamrebeccad oh... yeah sure, just let me know 💜

blakefriend hope you got to the hotel alright, me and dan are out for his training session, did you get the keycard ok? ↳ ynstagram i did, and the paddock passes. thanks for this blake, i know with everything going on, last minute admin is the last thing you need ↳ blakefriend if it means dan can have some sense of calm in this mess, i'd do it 10 times over ↳ blakefriend we'll be back at 1pm, see you in a few hours ↳ ynstagram 🫡 see you then

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Getting from the airport to the hotel had been easy enough. Piling the bags you had brought from Monaco to London and now to Singapore onto the only trolley remaining, you make your way down to the Arrivals.

Stepping through the automatic doors, your eyes dart between the people around you. Families reuniting with bright laughter and happy tears, lovers sharing intimate kisses under the harsh airport lights. Businessmen already glued to the phone in their hands as they weave through bodies with ease, their bodies twisting and turning like a well rehearsed waltz.

A man in a black suit jacket and oversized chauffeur hat catches your eye, his eyes following your figure as you try to move around the other passengers. You glance down at the large piece of paper held just above his waist. 

“Y/N L/N” is scrawled in large black letters across the paper, chicken scratch that looks very much like Blake’s.

Making your way over, the man tips the edge of his chauffeur hat slightly, reaching a hand out to shake yours. 

You want to apologise for the clamminess of your palms as you accept his welcome, but before you can speak, he’s reaching across to take the trolley from you, his head tilting briefly in the opposite direction.

You follow behind him, feet double stepping to keep up as he expertly navigates the sprawling grounds of Singapore Airport. 

By the time you reach the car out front, a sheen of sweat covers your upper lip and you cringe, feeling your t-shirt slowly cling to your back. 

The man opens the boot, then the back door and ushers you in. The cold air conditioning feels like a welcome home kiss, brushing away the humidity that clings to your skin from the small journey between the airport and the car. By the time the man sits in the driver's seat, your eyes are slipping closed, head lolling against the headrest behind you. 

You didn’t mean to sleep for the entire car journey, but you’d barely been able to rest for more than 20 minutes on the flight, opting instead to cycle through nonsense films to play in the background as the thoughts in your mind waged a war on your emotions. 

It had been a tense 13 hours, trying to work out what had happened on that phone call between Daniel and Helmut. You knew there were talks of him not extending his contract, but leaving mid season?

Your Danny? The self proclaimed and well known Honey Badger, king of late braking and divebombing his grid mates. You’d been with him since the Red Bull days, and even if he wasn’t winning podiums, or even points sometimes, you thought there would be more of an uproar about this from him. 

This wasn’t the same man you’d watch nearly fight a waiter because he refused to bring you a new meal after they’d brought out a completely different dish, the same man who left everything on the tarmac and often dragged you to his trailer post race interviews for a well deserved nap. 

His texts had been despondent, almost like he believed this was the goodbye he deserved. 

That’s the part you couldn’t move past. The idea that he was going to finish his last race without the flair of Daniel Ricciardo, no doughnuts, no grid walk, no party to celebrate the last 13 years. 

After the McLaren debacle, you understood why he chose to fly under the radar. With COVID and the situation with Oscar, he’d been more than willing to slip away peacefully but this was different. 

This was Red Bull. Or the subsidiary at least. The team he’d spent the longest time in Formula 1 with. The team who took him in as a junior, that he’d won 7 Grand Prix’s with, scored well over 1000 points racing for. 

You would have thought that they would have wanted to give him a goodbye worthy of what he had brought to the team.

By the time the chauffeur shakes you gently awake, your mind is no clearer but one thing is for sure. Daniel will not face this storm alone.

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The time of Daniel getting back from his workout was looming slowly. Since entering the hotel room, you’d hopped in the shower, scrubbing the aeroplane smell from you. The suitcases were lined up against the wall and you were currently lazing on the bed, scrolling mindlessly through Tiktok. Every so often, you’d flick to the notification screen, just in case Blake’s incoming text had somehow slipped past without you catching it. 

Your eyes flutter slowly closed, maybe a 10 minute nap wouldn’t hurt. Before you can lock your phone and settle into the plush pillows, a notification pings through. Eyes darting open, you catch the banner notification before it slides up. 

They were in the lobby. 

“Fuckin’ hell Blake.” Scrambling up from the bed, you round the corner and make sure there is no sign of you in the living room section. Your shoes are tucked away in the bottom of the closet, jacket strewn across the chair in the corner of the bedroom. 

The telltale ring of a keycard being swiped rings through the air and you slide to hide behind the wall, heart thumping against your chest. Doubt begins to swirl through your mind. What are you even doing here? What if he didn’t invite any of his family or friends because he didn’t want them to see him go out like this? Would he want you to? 

Loud voices echo through the hallway, Aussie slang thrown about but you focus on the one thick with a Perth twang. 

Your Danny. 

“Mate, I’m just gonna go point Percy at the porcelain.” Blake’s voice grows louder as he walks through to the bedroom. He locks eyes with you, giving you a quick one armed hug as you exchange quiet greetings. 

Once enough time has passed, he gestures with a finger to his lips to be quiet, head popping around the corner to Daniel. 

“Did you bring Y/N’s jacket with you by mistake?”

A confused “No” comes from the living room before Blake leans across you, grabbing the clothing from the chair. He holds it aloft, in Daniel’s line of sight. 

“No idea what that’s doing here, mate. You know I always bring a t-shirt of Y/N’s which should be under the pillow.”

Your heart swells at the statement, you had no idea he’d sneak something of yours with him whenever you couldn’t attend races. The earlier doubts dissipate, you knew right here, with Daniel, was where you were supposed to be. 

“Strange… oh! I know what’s happened.” Blake shoots you a grin before wrapping a hand around your arm, pulling you into the doorway. 

Smiling softly at Daniel, you huff lightly at the way his eyes widen almost comically as he takes you in. Silence spreads through the room, the two of you locked in intense eye contact as Blake slowly moves aside to let you reunite. 

“Hello, my love.”

Daniel’s bottom lip wobbles slightly and before you can process it, he’s launched across the room, almost body slamming you with the force he runs at you with. Arms latch tightly around your waist, his head tucked tightly into your neck, trembling lips resting against your pulse point. 

“What, I, how?” The words are muffled against your skin, the edges of them tear soaked as the collar of your t-shirt dampens to match. 

Carding your hand through his still sweaty curls, you scratch lightly against his scalp. “As soon as you told me, Blake texted me. He booked me on the next flight.”

Daniel’s head pops out from his hiding place, all three of you ignoring the tears smattering his cheeks. He looks across to Blake, who simply shrugs his shoulders, reaching down to grab his gym bag. 

“You needed them, and they needed you. It was a no brainer. Also, don’t get sappy with me, I charged the flight to your business card.” A chuckle follows and he claps Daniel on the back once, nodding in your direction before heading out the front door, the sound of it closing echoing slightly. 

Daniel’s eyes track from the closing door back to you, wide in wonderment. “But your conference?”

Shrugging, you lean forward to press a soft kiss to the apple of his cheek. “Called in a family emergency. There’s no way I was letting you go through this alone.” You lift your hand up to his face, tracing a path across the same cheek you’d just kissed. “I know your parents or your friends can't be here, but I couldn’t bear the thought of you having to deal with everything going on with no kind of support. I know Blake’s here but-”

You’re cut off by his lips covering yours, desperation seeping through as the words die on your tongue. The taste of salt blooms, the tears still dripping slowly from his eyes. Yours join in quick succession. A rushed “I love you” slips from your mouth the moment you part, his own coming straight after. 

The slide of his lips against your own turns molasses slow, the cooled sweat on both of you soon making way for its heated counterpart as you gravitate closer to one another. Warm hands sneak under your t-shirt, the palms cupping the swell of your hips as Daniel whispers words of gratitude through stolen breaths. Your own hands rest against his neck, nails creating slight grooves under the pressure. 

Knowing what will come tomorrow, you take in this moment, second by second. The feel of his sweat slick skin under your palms, the slight stubble on his jaw scratching at your chin, the way his heart beats erratically in his chest pressed close to yours. 

Every part of this Daniel you memorise, capturing each memory in a gold plated frame. You store them away in the evergrowing gallery of your brain dedicated to the man before you, seal them under lock and key for your eyes only. 

You always knew that one day, you’d share them with him. When all the racing was over and the two of you had the house with the white picket fence, or more aptly, the farm with the white picket fence. You’d dissect every moment of him you stored away, stacked one by one for safekeeping. From the moment the two of you met in that busy London street, every grand prix win, every high followed by every low. Just in case he began to forget the man he was, the man he would still be. 

You just didn’t realise that day would be coming so soon. 

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ynstagram danielricciardo

[caption 2: gorgeous boy xx]

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After the race, you’d left Daniel to his own devices. You knew he would want to spend his time wandering around the track, soaking in every moment of what could be his last ever race. 

Grabbing a ride back with Blake, the two of you stick to small talk, neither able to formulate the words you truly wanted to say. 

He’d given you a brief goodbye in the lobby, arms wrapped around you in a tight squeeze before the two of you separated, him taking the stairs and you choosing to ride in the elevator. 

Shuffling through the front door, you kick your shoes off, nudging them next to the other pairs in the entryway. On the way up, you’d sent Daniel a quick text to let you know when he was on his way back. 

Expecting him to respond around midnight, you slowly work through your nighttime routine, opting to wear one of his shirts to bed instead of the pyjamas you’d neatly packed. 

Slipping into bed, you unlock your phone, squinting at the brightness. Still no messages from Daniel, the 1:27am at the top of your phone making you sigh deeply. Reaching over, you plug your phone onto charge before starting up a well loved podcast, choosing an episode you could probably quote from memory with how often you relistened to it. 

As the dulcet voices fall away to background noise, you settle in for the night, head half shoved into the pillow beside you, Daniel’s scent still lingering from this morning.

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Blearily opening your eyes as the other side of the bed dips lightly, you quickly tap your phone to see the time. A bold 3:57am blinks back at you briefly before the screen goes dark once more. 

“Didn’t mean to wake you, sorry babe.” Daniel’s voice whispers in the darkness, hand winding its way around your waist to pull you back to his chest. 

Resting your hand over his, fingers interlocking in the open spaces, you squeeze twice. “s’ok, wanted to see you when you got back anyway.”

Silence follows and before you can roll over to look at Daniel, his face presses into the centre of your shoulder blades, the skin warm through the fabric of the shirt.

“Danny?”

He stays quiet, the hand on your waist gripping tighter. You can hear the way his breath starts to shake on the inhale, the tears from his eyes slowly dampening the back of his shirt currently wrapped around you. 

“Danny, lemme see you.” A shake of his head rustles the shirt. “Baby, please.”

His grip on your waist loosens and you shuffle around carefully, trying to avoid shoving an elbow in his ribs and adding further insult to injury. 

You can hardly make out his face, the small amount of moonlight shining through the haphazardly closed curtains barely illuminating the curve of his cheek. It does catch the glint of his honey brown eyes, tears shimmering along his lash line. 

“Oh, my love.” Your heart breaks at the sight of the man in front of you, a shell of who you’ve come to know and love. The pressure behind your eyes builds, tears threatening to mirror Daniel’s. “C’mere.”

One hand wrapping around the back of his neck, you pull him to lay against you. He burrows in, head pressed tight into the junction between your neck and shoulder, a sombre juxtaposition to this morning. 

“This is the end. Everything I’ve worked for, over. And there’s nothing I can do to stop it.” His arm wraps tight around your waist once more, his leg coming to rest between yours. “I’m officially a has-been.” A wet chuckle escapes him, the noise too loud in the surrounding silence. 

You can’t stop yourself from tapping the back of his neck lightly. He knows you hate when he talks like that. “No one’s allowed to talk about the man I love like that.”

His head lifts from your neck to throw you a quick glance. “Even if it’s the man himself?”

Pulling him back to rest against your neck, you run your hands through his hair gently, twirling the longer strands around one of your fingers. “Especially if it’s the man himself. You’re not a has-been, never will be. You’re so talented in so many different ways, there will never be a time you can say you’re past your prime or whatever stupid shit is running around that gorgeous head of yours.” Your fingers tap against his scalp to drive the point home. “Even if you never step foot in one of those cars again, you’ve got your dirt biking, the wine company, Enchante, the 17 other high intensity sports you do that raise my blood pressure every time I watch. You’re smart enough to know how to adapt, and that is what you’ll do. I know it.”

“You seem very sure.” His voice comes out muffled from its spot against your neck, his breath tickling your skin. 

“That’s because I am. I was by your side during the papaya setback, I saw how you came back stronger. That’s what this situation is too, a setback. You’ll find a way through, even if I have to stand by the solution with a flashlight to guide you that way.” 

He chuckles, the edges of his voice no longer tainted with sorrow. “Can you still not say their name?”

You join his laughter, remembering the last time you’d spoken about McLaren. “Last time I mentioned that company, I got a cease and desist. Don’t think Zac was too happy with the way I was deservedly slagging them off.” Your nose wrinkles as you think back to the snottily worded email and attached letter that dropped into your inbox a few days after your last public comment about their shitty management. “So I promised to never let that name slip from my lips again.”

The room falls silent again, just for a moment. The two of you still tangled in an embrace, even as the first prickles of sweat bead against your hairline from the heat of your bodies in the warm Singapore evening. 

Daniel sighs, shuffling minutely to run a hand up and down the length of your side. “I just… I remember when I was 20. Being so excited to get into an actual F1 car, even as a tester. I remember jumping out, seeing that I was the fastest and thinking ‘this is it. This is my chance.’ I wanted to be a Red Bull driver so bad, with every part of me. To win a race, maybe even win a world championship, leave a legacy behind. And now I’ve wasted over a decade of my life with only 8 race wins to show for it. Not even a championship. What kind of legacy does that leave me?”

The sorrow creeps back into his voice, and you have to clear your throat before responding, willing the tears back once more. “A legacy doesn’t have to mean winning a world championship. Or even a race. Think about Jacky Ickx, Stirling Moss, Juan Pablo Montoya. All legends in their own right, but none of them had a world championship. If this was your last race in Formula 1, you leave behind a legacy in your own right. People will know your name for years, even decades to come. King of the late brakers, the guy who always had a smile and a kind word to say about everyone he ever met; even if they didn’t deserve it, the aptly named Honey Badger. Just because you don’t leave behind a legacy in being number 1, doesn’t mean you won’t be up there with the greats.”

Daniel hums, taking in your words, dissecting them one by one. “I’m scared. Where do I go now? Do I even try to come back? Move to a different company entirely? Retire officially and retreat to the farm? I don’t know who I am without Formula 1.”

You take a moment to think about the situation for yourself. A world where Daniel Ricciardo is no longer a Formula 1 driver. It always seemed so impossible to you, the company so deeply ingrained into his being that the very idea of him would cease to exist without it in his life. 

“Truthfully, I don’t know.” Your hand continues to card through his hair, a soothing gesture. Whether it was meant to soothe him or you, you weren’t too sure. “I wouldn’t even know where to start with advice, I’ve never had to walk in your shoes. But that doesn’t need to be something to think about right now. Enjoy some downtime, go home and spend time with your family, race dirt bikes around different parts of the world, go see Scotty and Chloe. The future is still so bright for you, Danny. And I’m just happy that I get to be beside you through it all.”

Slowly, he raises his head from its perch, bright eyes finding yours. Despite the situation, you swear he’s never looked more beautiful than in this moment. Teeth bitten lips find yours in the dim light, clumsy and fierce, but perfect in its own right. 

“I love you. So fucking much. From the first day we met and you shouted at me for splashing you with a puddle, I knew you were the one. Thank you for never leaving.”

You laugh aloud, remembering how you’d been late for university, umbrella thrashing in the England wind, when a bike had come up dangerously close beside you, running straight through a puddle and covering your jeans in muddy water. 

After a long rant at the rider, you’d looked up into apologetic golden eyes and high cheekbones, and immediately the anger had dissipated. “And I love you. Maybe not from the puddle moment, but you won me over nearly immediately after. There’s nowhere I’d rather be than right here, with you.”

This is the moment. The moment to open the gallery in your mind to the man in front of you. To recall each and every moment you’d captured in glossy oils and remind him of who he is, who he always has been. 

And then Daniel lays his head back down to your chest, lips pressing an appreciative kiss to the shirt underneath, warmth blossoming through the fabric to your skin below. And the moment passes. 

Pressing your head back into the pillow below, you listen to how Daniel’s breathing slows, settling down as he drifts off to sleep. The perfect moment will come back. There’s still time.

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liked by fan, fan and 982,167 others

formula1 BREAKING: Daniel Ricciardo to leave RB, the team have announced

see 238,816 others

fan what the fuck

fan not danny ric 💔💔

fan we just got him back😭😭😭

fan helmut marko watch your back.

user lol not surprised, we all knew he was washed ↳ fan 123.456.789.012 ↳ user did i just get doxxed?

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👤 danielricciardo liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 890,274 others

ynstagram the man of many names. danny ric, ricky bobby, honey badger and most importantly, the love of my life. i've loved you for 6 summers and i'll love you for 600 more.

in the words of our favourite musical, wherever you go i won't be far to follow. whether it's in the navy of the bulls, papaya of [REDACTED], the bee striped renault or the dazzling white of vcarb, you bring so much light and happiness everywhere you go, and i've been privileged to bask in the warmth of you.

and until the next adventure, i will always be here to remind you of the power and strength you inhabit, the souls you've breathed life into and the happiness you've brought to the sport you love (sometimes more than me) for over a decade.

always and forever, your y/n x

see 10,286 other comments

fan anyone else absolutely sobbing right now?? ↳ fan as if his post wasn't enough to make me bawl, ofc y/n drops this

fan to have a love like y/n and danny...

fan not y/n censoring mclaren, they hate that damn team so much ♥️ ynstagram

danielricciardo my darling, i love you, always and forever ❤️ ↳ ynstagram so excited for our future, whatever it holds ❤️

landonorris thanks y/n max is crying now 👍 ↳ ynstagram 🤣 which one? ↳ maxfewtrell both ↳ maxverstappen1 both

alexandrasaintmleux 🩷 we need another double date when you're back in monaco x ↳ ynstagram do we have to bring them? ↳ danielricciardo on my own dedication post... wow ↳ ynstagram 🤷 gotta show my girl love whenever i can

fan helmut better hide, y/n doesn't play when it comes to their man ↳ fan fr don't let the sappy post fool you, ik they have a hitlist in their notes

fan him leaving before COTA is so messed up, he loves that track 😭😭😭 ↳ ynstagram wish you guys could have seen the special helmet :( ↳ fan OH HELMUT MARKO WHEN I CATCH U!!!!!!! ↳ fan special helmet... pls we need to see i BEG

lewishamilton with you by his side, the future is bright for the honey badger 🤍 ↳ ynstagram thanks lew 🩷 ↳ danielricciardo thanks man :)

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a/n: this is not proof read, so ignore any mistakes. i can't wait to see what danny does in the future, whatever it is, i'll be supporting him all the way <3

[admirxation]

彡 𝐨𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟏𝐬𝐭 - 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐦𝐛𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

♡ 𝐬𝐮𝐦. Leon loves getting his secretary to do simple tasks for his watching pleasure (wc: ) -> this idea was given by @elfven-blog

𝐜𝐰 — afab!younger!subordinate!reader x Older!Superior!Leon S. Kennedy. 18+ smut mdni, dub-con/power imbalance, office au, bending over, Leon is pervy in this with making the reader bend over to reach for things, non-consensual skirt lifting, oral/blowjob, praise, titty fucking, and cum -> you've been warned; continue at your own discretion.

You sat at your desk as your fingers poised over the clacking keyboard, scrolling through countless emails and replying to them in a fake, overly nice manner. You were absolutely exhausted after starting this new job; you were thankful to have gotten it considering the current job market, but you couldn’t deny the developing eye bags that were forming. How heavy your eyes were that blinking was considered too dangerous, just in case you smacked your head on the desk and went to sleep. 

It didn’t help that you had such a demanding boss. Leon S. Kennedy, CEO, and the boss you had to answer to as his secretary constantly. 

Leon wasn’t a terrible person. He was quite sweet, and you were thankful for some of the good ways you had picked up on about him. However, you did feel uneasy about some parts of him, especially with the type of things he would be in demand for. 

It starts as just a normal coffee and paperwork—normal for a secretary—then it escalates to helping him with his tie and his shoelaces and giving him a massage on his shoulders because “life is so stressful at the moment”. You didn’t mind entirely; it’s not like you disliked him, but you did have an inclination that those actions aren’t something you should be asking of your secretary and subordinate; you even mentioned this to your friends outside of work, and they felt uneasy about it, but it wasn’t like you were going to quit, that would be ridiculous, especially with the hurdles you had to go through in the interview process; you were sure you could handle a man’s creepiness. At least, that was the original thought before the day's events unfolded. 

You tried your best to keep your gaze down and focus on the task at hand, sorting through your emails until you heard that buzzing-calling sound. 

“Sweetheart, I need you.” 

You heard Leon’s voice through the crackling sound from the box. He had this thing where he would never give you the respect—that he gave other colleagues—and call you by your title and last name; it was always terms of endearment like: sweetheart, darling, honey, but sweetheart was his favourite at the moment. You didn’t think much of it, only feeling that uneasy sense of weirdness as your face always scrunched up when hearing how his tone lingered on the syllables of endearment, but you thought nothing too bad would come of it; you just thought that it was an older man thing, that they didn’t mean it creepily—oh, how naive you were. 

You rolled your chair backwards and opened his office door, seeing him in that smart-fitted suit as he folded his arms. His blue gaze looked upon you as it travelled from the top of your head to your high-heeled toes, taking in how your clothes hugged your frame and how you shuddered when he licked his lips, putting you under his arousing scrutiny. 

“Hello, sweetheart,” he said in that tantalising smooth-toned voice, deep and warm as whiskey that made you feel a fuzzy feeling within your chest but also one that equally made your gut churn for a moment. 

“Hello, Mr. Kennedy; what do you need today, sir?” you put on that fake customer-friendly smile everyone had in the workplace, ready to just get whatever task he wanted you to finish over and done with. 

“Could you come here and proofread this for me? You’ve got a better eye for these things than I do,” he had in his hand a piece of paper with inked-out printing, some piece of paperwork you would have to check for typos or incorrect calculations… Like you were any good at it. 

You gave Leon a quick nod before you let your heels click against the dark wooden floor, letting the room be filled with sensuality as you approached and let your shadow engulf him; you knew he was watching your reactions as your pupils darted from side to side to read the words and numbers, pretending like you were knowledgeable on the whole thing when matter-of-fact you weren't too familiar despite the basics of the basics.

Leon just stared—for a few moments—as he appreciated the woman that was right in front of him; he couldn’t deny the attraction he felt for you when he looked at your facial structure, the way your hair was styled around it, and the way that blouse hugged around your chest and skirt around your ass, he would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about throwing everything off of his desk and pounding right into you as he pins you down onto the hard surface. But, he needed to elongate the process before he got to the ending, which would make him happy. 

When you put the paper down, ready to tell him that you found no errors, you heard the sound of something dropping onto the wooden panels; looking down, you saw a few pencils had scattered and rolled off the desk, seeing that it was obviously not an accident when you saw that sharp and tantalising smirk that felt like it was looming over you in its smug nature. 

“Could you get those for me, sweetheart?” he asked you, presenting that innocent look despite the darkened clouds looming over his gaze, soon giving his true intentions away, but what were you gonna do? Say no? There wasn’t room to say that; he was your boss, and you needed to keep this job, so you let a faint smile curve for forced jollity as you bent over and picked up the pencils with a ‘yes, sir.’

You felt the unnerving casualness that made the air in the room feel thicker, the tension between you two thick enough to cut through with a knife. Picking up pencils is a small gesture, nothing to read into it, but it was quite the opposite with Leon; he made it into something bigger than it was when you felt his gaze stick onto you and make your heartbeat be heard in your ear drums as you kept your knees on the floor while you picked up the pencils… one by one… Until you felt something, something you didn’t think he would be so bold to do.

As you had been picking up the lines of graphite, he had tucked his leather shoe underneath your skirt and picked it up, making your eyes widen. Your heartbeat falls into the depths of your innards as cold sweat starts to rear its existence after the catalyst of Leon’s actions. You felt the tip of his shoe rub against the fat of your ass, and hearing his shallow breath add a hotter tension into the room that made you feel suffocated. All you did was look back as your body shook, feeling the nerves reverberate through you. 

“S-sir… What are you-” 

“Shh…you’re so pretty like this… on your knees,” he lifted your skirt even higher to expose the lacy thong and your exposed ass, “so sexy,” he continued to whisper his seductive praises. 

He sat back in his chair, letting the tip of his shoe press into the fat that made a plushy indentation that made his cock twitch within his trousers; you were so vulnerable, so unknowing, and he just wanted to take you right then and there as he felt your shuddering body to his touch. His smirk only widened when he witnessed you trap your bottom lip into your teeth.

“Oh, do you like this, sweetheart?” He wasn’t going to make you answer; he liked you all nervous and too embarrassed to admit that you liked having your own boss appreciate and want to use your body. He felt like he had won the lottery with how willing your body was for him. 

“Hm, I like having you around… It's so sexy when you walk around the place… but I want more than you just playing secretary,” he watched as your pupils swallowed the colour of your eyes as you looked at him through a shuddering chest from broken breaths, “turn around for me, I wanna see that pretty face more clearly.” 

At your own volition, you quickly obeyed without hesitancy, watching as he opened his legs and the growing bulge that was starting to develop underneath his navy trousers, imminently making you blush as you watched how your body affected him, how just the sight of your panties was making him rock hard underneath the cloth. 

“Now, sweetheart… You’re a good little secretary, aren’t you?” 

“Mmhmm,” you nodded in your timid response as you looked up at him with those ‘fuck me’ eyes.

“Yeah, you are,” he bent over and cupped your face gently and making you subconsciously fit the curve of your cheek in his large palm; all those underlying thoughts of creepiness soon faded away as you felt the heat radiate off of his body, and who knows, there have been people who fuck their boss and get many advantages on top of a new partner. “How about you take care of me… I’ve been feeling so stressed… I’m sure you can help me out with that, can’t you?” his voice was just like whiskey, smooth in its feeling but also a sensation of burning with how warmth pooled around your core and started to soak around your slit as your clit throbbed under the desire to be touched and to touch him. 

“What do… What do you want me to do, sir?” you whispered, almost pathetically, as your pillowy and glossy lips parted as if you knew exactly where this was going; you weren’t completely stupid. 

“I wanna use that pretty mouth of yours for good,” he started to unbuckle his belt and fill the room with the metallic sound that made your pussy throb as he lifted up his hips to pull down the trousers and the boxers, and letting you look in surprise as his large cock sprung out in front of you, inviting and enticing you to be a dirty girl for him. “Be a good secretary and suck it… You wouldn’t want your boss stressed, would you?” 

“No, No, I wouldn’t.” 

Your core fluttered as slick started to press against the lace barrier. You heard Leon’s shallow breaths as your hands collected around the base of his cock, pumping his long shaft and feeling the prominent vein rub against your soft palms, watching as his reddened tip was already oozing and weeping out a pre-release for the anticipation of your warm mouth. You maintained your eye contact as you left a big, wet, long, stripe along his shaft before taking him in and releasing muffled moans as you watched his head kick back. 

“Oh, fuck, yes, g-gods, you’re so good at that,” his fingers started to tangle in your previously neat hair, causing frizzy strands to strike up as he smoothed his palms over your scalp, gently bucking his hips to guide his cock further into the warm and soaking valley of your mouth and throat. 

You softly gagged at the feeling of his fat cock pressing against the back of your throat; you loved this, feeling your glossy lips stretch around him and tasting his salty length as you continued to suck and feel him. 

“A-aah, yeah, you’re taking me so well,” he whispered another praise before he started to feel a little greedy, “Why don’t you take that blouse off… I wanna see those pretty tits.” 

You took your mouth off of him in a loud, wet popping sound that made him shudder as the cold air pressed against his cock; continuing to palm and pump his throbbing length as he watched you unbutton the silk blouse until it became discarded cloth on the floor, soon accompanied by your bra. 

You felt that pleasurable tingling feeling within your walls and a heated coil that was heating up as it tied together tightly when you squeezed the mounds of your chest for him, letting soft whimpers protrude from your lips as you squeezed onto the sensitive buds when looking into his darkened gaze. 

His presence was demanding, yet arousing at the same time; a superior shouldn’t be doing this to their secretary, but let’s be honest, the fantasy has been around for as long as can be remembered; it wasn’t like you were complaining than an attractive older man wanted to use you as a cocksleeve. Of course, there was the little voice in the back of your mind telling you that this power dynamic was wrong; you were his employee, and it was highly inappropriate for him to be treating you like this, but the libido soon squelched the rational down as your heated core was wanting to take him on further. 

You made his head fall back onto the headrest of his office chair again when you continued to leave swirls from your tongue on the tip of his dribbling cock, tasting that salty and creamy precum as you watched his chest fall up and down in broken tandem to his laboured breaths. You could feel your panties become completely soaked when a slow gushing release came down in your finish as you wrapped your breasts around his large cock, and heard his sensual moans fill his office room up. 

“Fuck, aaah, keep going, don’t stop, making me feel so good,” he kept caressing your cheek as he watched you leave kitten licks on the tip of your warm plushy breasts hugged around his shaft. “Such a perfect, sexy girl.” 

You sucked on the tip of his fat cock, watching him bite his lip. 

“I’m so close; stop for a moment,” you obeyed what he needed and stayed there with an open mouth and squishing your tits together as you watched him pump his cock with his fist before covering your chest with his thick, sticky, white load; feeling that coil snap back into an eased relaxation when watching him pant down from his high after covering you with his mark.

🏷️ taglist: @porcelainseashore @angelstargel @localkiss -> check out pinned post to be tagged; if you want to be deleted just message me.

a/n: this was requested by the lovely honey, please give her some love since without her I wouldn't have thought of this delicious concept. Kinktober is nearly over oh my god, I'm lowkey kinda sad but also happy cuz wow 31 days has been a mighty struggle I inflicted onto my myself, in future I'm just doing weekly oneshots if I ever wanna do it again. Anyways I hope you enjoyed this <3

[qqueenofhades]

I think the Aaron Sorkin fic people are writing about the convention to be extremely silly. It's going to be Biden. And if Biden's health takes a downturn and he feels the need to step down its going tk be Harris. This fantasy where we skip over her to whip up two random white guys(or like maaaybe Witmer) and somehow cruise to victory instead of fragmenting the party months before the election is simply not going to happen.

Look, I'm just saying, I got an email from the Biden campaign this morning where they seemed pretty darn happy with the actual (i.e. not-bloviating media) results of the debate: $38 million raised in 4 days ($30 million from individual small-dollar donors), 10K new volunteers in a week, 3x surge in campaign volunteers for battleground states, essentially no change or even a modest boost in the polls. So I think at this point, we can cautiously conclude the following things:

The debate looked bad for Biden, perhaps, but doesn't seem to have hurt him nearly as much the incredibly bad-faith BIDEN NEEDS TO STEP DOWN NOW takes being pumped out by the NYT and its other compatriots would suggest. Especially when these same media outlets have been gleefully sabotaging Biden at every turn for years already and whose fake-sanctimonious hand-wringing "for the good of the nation" pieces honestly should get them dropped into Superhell for Bad Journalists;

Biden went to Raleigh NC right after the debate and gave a fiery rally speech that was very well received. Now, I don't know why we didn't have that Biden at the debate, but it was the same night and there clearly was not any "cOgnItiVe dEcLinE" happening there (also Biden has a stutter and has for literally his entire life, and had a cold on debate night, so it was just an unfortunate confluence of factors)

There are very few actually undecided voters in this election (once again: HOW???) and those who tuned into the debate were largely already convinced of which candidate they were voting for and this didn't do much to change their minds. Just like, you know, pretty much every other debate in the history of presidential elections.

Ordinary voters, and not mainstream media outlets with BIDEN IZ BAD goggles clamped over their eyes, were able to see Trump's insane Gish gallops, lies, and full-blown dementia; this isn't going to get any better for him when he's already lost 20%-25% of GOP voters in every state primary and still is going to be sentenced in his criminal trial;

The D.C. political elite screaming about how Biden should step down (FOUR MONTHS BEFORE THE ELECTION) and leave the Democrats to start from scratch with some Star Chamber-selected candidate with no money and no incumbency record and no organization apparatus and a divided party are either fucking weapons grade morons or working secretly for Trump, because that IS in fact the best way to lose the election;

Such speculation seems to fall chiefly on Gavin Newsom, who (to his credit) has shut down any and all suggestion that he should try to step in and take the place of an incumbent who has won every state primary with 90% or more, because he's remotely sane and understands that this year is too important to fuck around with;

I've somehow never seen any suggestion that Biden should step aside for the duly elected (brown, female) Vice President, because everyone seems to think some Young Miraculous White Guy is coming and/or should step in;

All this while SCOTUS is clearly so confident of Trump getting back in that it's willing to grant him Absolute God King status pre- and post-emptively;

Yes, Biden needs to up his game before the next debate (though that's on Fox News iirc, blargh), but I think it's far enough post-debate that we can say it was bad but did not sink him, and if anything, reinforced the fact to many ordinary, non-brainwormed voters that Biden is old (which has been the number one chief theme of news coverage for four years and is no surprise to anyone) but is a decent and principled man doing a good job, while Trump is an absolute gibbering insane orange shitmonger fascist. I don't think he did himself any favors in that regard.

....anyway. The point is, do not be fucking insane people, Biden is not going to step down and frankly shouldn't, don't read the NYT (as noted, they've openly admitted to sabotaging him for personal ego reasons so I don't know why the hell anyone would listen to what they have to say about him), this is still an eminently winnable election, and let's go get those motherfucking fascists. I want Trump in jail and all of SCOTUS and the MAGAGOP fucking crying over it because they fucking suck. Let's go.

[jjkamochoso]

Hashing Out the Hatred for Hoshina

Enemies to Lovers, fluff

Soshiro Hoshina x gn!reader

Request from Wattpad: Reader absolutely despises Soshiro and his smug attitude; what will happen when they accidentally get locked in a room together?

Warnings: small mentions of bugs, cussing

“Another celebration? We’ve been doing a lot of those recently,” you said at the end of your meeting with your superiors in which they announced yet another night of drinks and dinner for everyone in the Third Division. You weren’t complaining in the least bit—you just remembered the days when times like these were few and far between.

“Yes, but we’ve had much to be proud of lately,” replied Captain Ashiro.

“Or do you disagree with our most esteemed Captain, Platoon Leader L/n?” mused Soshiro Hoshina, your vice captain and source of extreme irritation and headaches each day of work. You hated that man with every fiber of your being. His laid back attitude paired with his propensity to tease people to their wits end bothered you immensely. You couldn’t stand the sound of his ferocious laughter, nor the way he would double over with tears in his eyes at anything he deemed remotely funny.

You especially hated when he spoke to you.

You faked a smile, ignoring the anger pooling in your chest at the wicked grin he was sending you. “Not at all, Vice Captain. I look forward to seeing you all later this evening.”

You bowed your head respectfully, signaling your departure. You raced out of the room before you could punch the smirk from Hoshina’s face.

You looked in the mirror and sighed as you put the finishing touches on your appearance. You always liked to look your best at these celebrations since it was the only time you had the chance to dress a little bit out of protocol. You slid your jacket over your well fitted casual outfit and walked down to where the food and drinks were being distributed. To your dismay, the caterers hadn’t begun preparing food yet; they had just shown up! You frowned, glancing at your watch. You looked around to ask one of your peers what was going on, but the only person there was—

Ugh. Hoshina.

You’d rather break all the glasses and walk on them barefoot before engaging in a conversation with that fox eyed, bowl cut idiot. However, the worst case scenario was unfolding before your eyes as he slinked over to you, hands in his pockets and fangs peeking out of his lips in a wide smile.

“You here to help set up?” he wondered.

You didn’t know how to answer. If you said yes, you’d be forced to stay with him and spend too much time next to that thorn in your side. If you said no, you’d look like a total jerk in front of the caterers.

“Of course. I thought it might be a show of good will since my enthusiasm for tonight was questioned earlier,” you told him, referring back to your previous conversation that day. Cue his boisterous laughter and you were already regretting not telling the truth so you could get out of there.

“Here I was, thinking you just hadn’t read the email with the change of time,” he howled, wiping tears from his eyes. You groaned internally.

That’s what I get for leaving my office early to shower before everyone else.

“Maybe you just wanted to spend some time with me,” he wondered aloud. This time it was you who burst out laughing.

“Me? Want to spend time with you? In your dreams, Hoshina,” you said, picking up a box of cutlery to put out on the table. The catering company workers gave you a grateful nod as they dashed around you and Soshiro, preparing the banquet.

“You’re much more pleasant in my dreams, L/n. Do you dream about me, too?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows. You picked up a knife and set it down with extra force.

“Those kinds of dreams are called nightmares.”

This time, there was no laugh from Soshiro.

The rest of the setup went by quickly as you and Soshiro worked in a surprising state of silence. When the rest of your peers showed up, you gladly left to sit next to your unit, not wanting to entertain your vice captain any longer. You didn’t notice the questioning stares of your underlings as they spied you and Soshiro working suspiciously well together by yourselves; your disdain for the man was well known among the Third Division. Kafka and Kikoru giggled and theorized what that could mean while Reno just shook his head, not wanting to get involved. You, on the other hand, were completely unbothered as you ate and drank to your heart’s content, happy to have such a fulfilling meal after working hard all day and helping with the set up. As the night went on, you felt the temperature of the room go up so you slid your jacket off and placed it under the table.

“What were you and L/n doing here before everyone else?” asked Okonogi curiously, making Soshiro almost choke on his food.

“We both wanted to help set up so we came early,” he replied curtly.

“I see. And how was that?”

He narrowed his eyes. “Whaddya mean by that?”

“I think what Okonogi was getting at was the fact that you two don’t like each other,” explained Mina in her typical no nonsense fashion.

“Which I don’t get anyway,” Okonogi piped in.

“Eh? They’re just… too serious. Not my style,” he shrugged. “Besides, someone whose skin is that easy to get under should toughen up. So really, I’m being a good vice captain and helping them.”

Mina and Okonogi shared a glance and quietly agreed to move the conversation to a different topic.

Soshiro quickly regained his excitable spirit, entering into an easy conversation with his two close comrades when he stopped talking for a moment, seemingly distracted by something. The women looked over to where he was staring and they had to keep from gasping in shock.

He was completely enamored by you.

You had taken off your jacket which showed off your phenomenal outfit, garnering a strong response from both your teammates and your vice captain. Everyone was complimenting you and you thanked them, a kind smile resting on your face. Soshiro’s face went from surprised to visibly bothered, but Mina and Okonogi couldn’t figure out why. All of a sudden, he jumped right back into the conversation as if there was no pause in the first place, leaving his friends bewildered by the emotional whiplash.

“Aww man! I spilled all over me,” complained Iharu as he furiously wiped himself with a flimsy napkin. The contents of his drink had landed all over the table and the floor, creating a slipping hazard for anyone in the room.

“Don’t worry, I’ll go grab some extra napkins from the storage closet,” you told him.

“Really? You’re the best, Platoon Leader!” he yelled. You smiled, happy to help.

“I’ll be right back, okay?”

You stood up and made a beeline for the storage closet, trying to hurry so Iharu’s drink wouldn’t leave anything too stained. You left the door to the closet open for extra light as you reached up for the flimsy lightbulb, bathing the small space in a yellow glow.

You scowled as you looked around for the fifth time, still not able to find any napkins.

“Having trouble?”

You yelped, not expecting to have someone sneak up behind you. You turned around to see Hoshina doubled over in giggles and you were tempted to kick him in his stupid face.

“I’m fine, thank you,” you said between gritted teeth. “Now leave me alone.”

“Doesn’t look like you’re fine. One of Japan’s finest can’t even find napkins.”

“I know where they’re supposed to be, but it looks like some air headed idiot put them all the way on the top shelf,” you snarked.

“That is one thing we can agree on. Those things are always in use, who puts them away so high?” asked Soshiro. You didn’t answer him, instead climbing on the shelves to try and reach the much needed paper products.

“If you fall, I won’t catch you,” Soshiro added.

“If I fall and you put your hands on me, I’ll make sure you don’t leave this closet alive,” you snarled back. Your hands found a good grip on the napkins and you pulled, climbing down with a handful.

“If you’ll excuse me,” you told him, trying to push past him.

Soshiro tapped your shoulder. “Uh, L/n?”

“What?” you growled, turning around. “I thought I told you not to touch me.”

“I thought you might wanna know there’s a big bug in those napkins.”

You gulped, bringing your eyes downward. Lo and behold, there was a large, black bug staring back at you from in between the napkins.

“Get the fuck away from me!” you screamed at the poor insect, throwing the napkins out the door of the closet. Soshiro, in his own panicked state, quickly closed the door so the bug didn’t make its way back inside to enact revenge. You put your hand to your chest in an attempt to calm your racing heart.

“That was… that was good thinking. With the door closing,” you told him.

“Oh? Yeah. Uh, thanks.”

Trying to escape the awkward silence, you reached for the door handle, only to find it not budging. You tried again and again, but still, the handle wouldn’t move.

“Can’t figure out how to open a door either?” teased Soshiro.

“It’s stuck, dumbass.”

“No way. Let me try.”

You reluctantly stepped out of the way. “Because you’re so much stronger than me, is that it?”

Soshiro grunted as he tried to shake the handle loose. “Is everything with you some sort of personal attack? Why can’t you just relax?”

“Do you think I got this job by relaxing, hm? By laughing it up with my superiors until I got promoted?” you seethed. The door handle, obviously stuck, was ignored by the vice captain who was now dangerously close to your face.

“Do you think that’s how I got my job? That I didn’t work hard every day to prove my worth? I trained just as hard, maybe even harder than you, to get where I am now.”

“Hoshina, from the respectable Hoshina family, worked harder than me to get to where we are today. You really are a funny guy.”

He leaned in even closer. “You don’t know anything about me.”

Your voice leaked venom. “And you don’t know the first thing about me either.”

You were locked in a stare off, neither of you backing down.

“Why do you hate me so much?” he asked.

“Because you’re simple minded, overbearing, and much too smug for your own good. Why do you hate me?”

“Because you’re somber, bookish, and you don’t know how to enjoy a good joke.”

You stood there, your breaths mingling in the small confines of the storage closet, and you wondered what in the world was happening to you as you noticed how handsome Hoshina was for the first time.

“God, you annoy me,” you whispered.

“And you mildly irritate me,” he replied. Without thinking, you closed the small gap between you, placing your lips on his. He eagerly reciprocated, kissing you back. You backed off after a second, embarrassed at your actions.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that-”

“See? You play by the rules too much,” Soshiro interrupted with a smile; this time, though, it was a sincere one. He leaned back in to connect your lips once more and you completely melted into each other. Your hands gripped at his hair as his made their way to your waist, holding you steady. You were totally lost in each other, nothing but Soshiro filling all of your senses. The passionate kiss lasted a long time, both of you continually going back for more. The only thing that made you pull apart was the sudden squeak of the door and light flooding in to highlight his tousled hair and your swollen lips.

“Oh! Platoon Leader! Vice Captain! I’m sorry, I’ll just take these napkins from the ground! I swear, I didn’t see anything!” Kafka stuttered, slapping a hand over his eyes.

“Kafka, wait! Check the napkins for a big bug!” you yelled, but it was too late. The bug had made its appearance and Kafka screamed, running into the storage closet and slamming the door behind him.

“Kafka,” Soshiro said lowly, “the door handle is jammed from the inside.”

“No way, I’ve got this,” said Kafka confidently.

“I don’t got this,” he said dejectedly after a few minutes, sliding to the floor. He looked up, pointing between you and Soshiro. “So… are you two a thing now?”

Waiting for Reno to find all of you in the storage closet was the longest ten minutes of your life.

TAGLIST: @kana-daydreams

[afrowrites]

Norman F Rockwell

Black reader (plus size too!) x Homelander

Your a hardworking widow and single mother who works at vought in the graphics department, when a certain all American hero is intrigued by the sight of you, or maybe the scent of you...

Warnings: Stalking, Mentions of Death.

Wordcount: 1,891

Rating: Teen and up

A woman stands alone with her ten-year-old son weeping next to her, her stomach holds the last legacy of her husband. And as they lower him into the ground a rifle can be heard to signify a fallen soldier. And a single tear runs down the woman's face knowing she must stay strong.

“~[Your name]~, did you get the final layout for the Homeboy Kids’ book yet?” She asked as she turned towards her coworker's voice, “Oh yeah, I got them, they look pretty good with all things considered.” 

The woman smiled, proud of her co-workers' adherence to her notes.

“Well, that's good, because you have to present them to Ashley today.” The woman said, dropping a bomb and slipping out of her office.

“Wait, I have to do what?!” You half shout.

You frantically search your emails trying to figure out why today you had to present in less than… 

“Oh shit! I gotta do this in an hour!” 

You were wearing your comfiest business casual clothes but were not ready to entertain your boss today, and the email mentioned that others would be attending. ‘Probably those weirdo's in marketing.’  You thought to yourself. 

You stumble down the hallway towards Ashley's office, holding your layout tubes while trying to zip up the back of your skirt. Thank God you had an emergency “I didn't just have a baby” outfit and some heels. 

You fluff your afro up, put on some lipgloss, take a deep breath and open the door to walk into Ashley’s office.

You could see Ashley's permanent furrowed brow shift into a fake plastered smile she gave to all her employees when trying to save face.

“Good afternoon, miss {Your Name}. Have a seat, please”

“Sure” you answer, feeling a bit awkward.

Seth and Evan are engaged in a calm conversation, tucked away in the secluded corner of the room. Meanwhile, you're absorbed in organizing your layouts, your back to the entrance, when the sharp sound of a door swinging wide pierces the silence. Out of the periphery of your vision, you notice the room's occupants abruptly rise to their feet in a unified, almost military precision.

"Uh, Homelander, welcome," she greets with a strained smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes, her voice tinged with a detectable quiver betraying her anxiety. Indeed, the atmosphere has shifted palpably; a heavy cloak of tension settles over the room, making the air itself seem laden with foreboding.

“Ashley,” he notes her presence. Uninterested. 

“ Hey Seth, Evan, good to see you.” Now a hint of sarcastic enthusiasm sets in his voice.

He sets down into his chair, and as he sits he turns his head to you. He sniffs the air realizing something. Even before you'd know, he finds you leaking, and suddenly his interest in you increases tenfold and with a sudden interest in you he introduces himself.

“Why hello there,” his devilish grin and piercing blue eyes startle you, “you know it's a shame I never get to meet all the wonderful people here working at Vought, what's your name Ms…?”

“Rodriguez, although people just call me [your name].” You smile professionally. 

“Well Ms.Rodriguez,” he takes your hand in his, brushing your soft knuckles before planting a kiss on them. “I do hope to enjoy your presentation.” As he gave you a soft wink. 

You find his introduction performative but also slightly genuine.

The marketing guys gave their little spiel on how to market the homelander’s son, Ryan. 

You soon make a suggestion. “I believe that would go well with young adult males, but we aren't thinking of the bigger picture here. We know how Homelander is when it comes to women.” 

You see his jaw tighten, so you tread lightly when you continue.

“We’ve already seen the comic books, so how about we take a look at something more child-like for mothers, show the soft story about Homelander becoming a father raising a child all on his own, raising him to be a good American hero.” 

The market guys roll their eyes and scoff in protest, but before they can open their mouths you hear clapping.

“Wow that’s… well that's good,” To you he sounds almost genuine but his mind is still working on you. You breathe a sigh of relief at his approval. 

You mutter off a “thank you, sir.” And scurry back to your seat.

After muttering a quick, “Thank you, Sir.”, you scurry back to your seat.

“Well I think this has been a great meeting, thank you all for being here. I-” 

Homelander interrupts, “Ms.Rodriguez may I have a moment to ask you something?.” 

Stunned, you respond, “Oh-uh sure,” you give him a weak smile. 

“Great,” he grins a menacing grin. “Let's take a walk.”

It's quiet for the first few minutes, almost bone-chilling . He clears his throat to break the silence.

“So, Rodriguez. What do you do here?” He asks in a way that sounds like he's interested but also way too critical. 

“Well sir, I work in graphics and art, but I do most kid's artwork and stuff.” You chuckle nervously.

He nods at your answer, and he continues, “Well I think that is just super!” He still smells your body producing his favorite thing (well maybe second favorite thing). 

He continues the walk in silence until you guys reach your office, he scans around the room trying to find ways to see you more often. Until he sees, “Oh, you have a family,” you turn the picture towards him.

“Oh yeah, my babies,” you sigh at missing them. “Rafael and America.”

“Wow, what a name for such a cute baby,” he feigns interest because as stated before he's only interested in what's under your skirt.

“Yeah, their father named them.” You feel a sharp twist in your heart when mentioning your husband's name, Homelander sees this and with his well-learned acting exclaims, “Whatever he did to you I'll get him.” He places a hand on your shoulder as he jokes with you.

You look up at him with teary eyes before wiping them away. “Oh no it’s not that my husbands not with us anymore.” 

He feels indifferent to your plight, yet he pulls you in for a comforting hug. He smells like warm spices but underneath he smells metallic almost of blood. It’s unnerving.

He releases you from his grip, only to take a long look down and clear his throat. 

“Hmmm I think you might wanna…,” You look down horrified. You're leaking.

Standing at your threshold, the rich oakwood panels seem to reach out, inviting you into the warm embrace of home. Before your hand can grace the knocker, your mother-in-law materializes, her eyes alight with the joy of your arrival. "Hola mami!" Your greeting is tinged with fatigue, yet her presence ushers in comfort. "Hola, {insert Spanish nickname}, how was your day?" Her inquiry is simple, yet it's the undercurrent of genuine concern that touches you. "Well, Mami, to be honest, it was a bit perplexing..." you admit, the words trailing off as you grapple with the day's events.

Your exchange is gently fractured by the delightful pattern of small feet drumming against the floor, a familiar and heartwarming cadence. It's a sound that signals the arrival of one of the most precious joys in your life, a guiding light that brightens even your darkest days. The architect of your daily smiles, your cherished child, the ever-sweet Rafi, bounds toward you. This tiny being, the center of your universe, radiates unadulterated happiness, infusing your mornings with meaning and your heart with boundless love.

"Hey, Mamacita!," He says, 

"Hey there, Papito" you greet, the corners of your mouth turning up in a weary but warm smile. "You're not gonna guess who I bumped into today!"

His eyes sparkle with curiosity. "Who was it?"

"The one and only, most amazing superhero of all time!"

Glancing down, you notice he's clutching his beloved Homelander action figure, its edges frayed and colors faded from love and time. It was a gift from his dad. The sight fills you with a bittersweet mix of joy and a pang of sorrow, knowing the layers of memories it holds.

Sighing, you reply, “Well I met the one and only…”, pause for dramatic effect, “HOMELANDER!”  You see his gorgeous little eyes light up, you love to see your little guy happy. He jumps around the house as his grandma yells at him.

 “Papito! You're gonna wake the…,” she’s already too late. And as your second little bundle of joy starts to cry, your mother-in-law is about to get the spoon on Rafi, “Don’t worry mami, it’s fine I wanted to see my baby anyway.”  You smile at her as you trudge towards your baby's room. “Hey Meri, how’s my girl doing?” You coo at her. She has your husband’s beautiful green eyes, gorgeous fluffy curls and chubby cheeks. You hold her close to you, your heartbeat calms her down. You sit for a while ignoring the noise from the street corner thinking of when her father took you to New Mexico, 

(~Flashback~)

The evening air is warm and the breeze carries the simple romance of the night through the air. He cradles you in his soft loving arms as the stars pale in comparison to the sparkle of his eyes peering into your own.

“Y’know (y/n), I was just thinking,” “Oh that’s never good.” You snicker to yourself.

“Hey, that hurts.” He pretends to get shot in the chest. “Whatever,” You roll your eyes 

“Well, what I was going to say was, what if we get married…” He sheepishly says that last part.

“Um well, to be honest, I want to, after all, little Rafi-,” He interrupts. “Or Meri, I plan on having ten beautiful girls, well eleven because of you.’

You laugh a hearty laugh. “Yeah right, let’s just focus on the first one, but yeah I wanna be married.”

“Okay great because I have this ring in a box and I didn’t know who I was gonna give it to.” He yawns sarcastically. 

You wide-eyed stare at him for a little, until it sinks in. You sit up and push his shoulders to the ground. “Oh my God!” You kiss his face all over.

“Hey mami, watch the baby. They ain’t finished yet.” He chuckles “I love you, baby.” he smiles with his gorgeous lips. 

“I love you too, papito.” You lean in for a kiss all while smiling into his lips.  And while you once again fall in love, your favorite song plays.

~Como la flor, Con tanto amor, Me Diste tu~

“Se Marchitó, Me marcho hoy,” You sing to the bittersweet words of Selena, “ Yo sé perder, Pero a-a-ay, cómo me duele, A-a-ay, cómo me duele.” 

The smells of your cooking penetrate the room and seep out of your window into the cold air of a New York night, the warmth and love from your kitchen emanating from your apartment.

Unfortunately for you, a certain pair of eyes enjoyed your little performance, and the ethnic food smelled to him albeit too much spice for his taste, he could still feel a distant mother’s love through those smells.

And when you decided to close the window, he took that as a challenge to get into your life and ruin it. 

[sweetkpopmusings]

long for you (act one) | h. hyunjin <3

a/n: hello and welcome to the first act of my hyunjin fic :,-) it is past my bedtime, so please ignore any typos lol. if you'd like to be added to the tag list, you can reply to this post or send me an ask ! pics not mine <3

♡ find all parts here ♡

content: fluff, romance, fake dating, angst, a happy ending | wc: 3.5k | warnings: none really! | pairing: nonbinary!painter!hyunjin x gn!writer!reader | requests: open

synopsis: y/n is a writer with a long-awaited, well-deserved career opportunity. despite the excitement, there’s one major problem: the publisher expects a modern love story, equally romcom-like and authentic, but y/n lacks the inspiration to write something worth reading. through a chance meeting with mutual friends, y/n and hyunjin bond over upcoming deadlines and creative blocks. before the conversation ends, they discover that the ridiculous plot of fake dating might just work to solve their inspirational dry spell.

act one: a modern love story

groaning, you push your laptop to the side and rest your head against your hands.

felix, from the other side of your dining table, holds back a laugh, “that bad, huh?”

you scoff, rolling your eyes despite them being closed, “worse, probably.”

you hear felix shift in his chair, and you know he’s resting his chin on his hands, his classic flower pose he uses whenever you need his smile to cheer up. letting the frustration hang over you, a few minutes pass before you look up to see the sweet boy across from you. when you do, you can’t help the small smile that breaks through your bitter face.

“hah! i knew you couldn’t resist me,” felix teases, leaning back in his seat but making no move to take his attention away from you.

knowing he’s going to ask you what’s wrong, you explain, “so, you know how earlier this week i booked that gig with the publishing company?”

“yeah, the ghostwriting job for Odd One Out, right?”

you nod, “exactly. this is supposed to be a great thing. arguably the best thing that could happen for my writing career, even if it’s a book my name can’t be on, since it’s at least a foot in the door. and i’m not saying i’m ungrateful–”

“but?”

“i’ve been trying all week to come up with even the smallest idea for the prompt they gave me, and it feels as though this is the worst writer’s block i’ve ever had and ever will experience.”

felix frowns, sympathetic, “do you think maybe the pressure of such a big opportunity is getting to you? i know all of us, at one point or another, have hit a wall because of imposter syndrome or just plain anxiety.”

you let his words bounce around your mind for a little. they don’t seem incorrect–surely such a monumental opportunity would leave you feeling a little apprehensive or stressed–but they don’t seem to capture the full picture. 

“i think…” you glance at felix, a little helplessly, but he just waits patiently until you find the right words, “that’s definitely part of it. if i’m being honest though, i think the biggest obstacle i’m facing is the subject itself.”

“which is?” felix cocks an eyebrow.

you drag your laptop back in front of you and open the window with the email the company sent you detailing your project, “you are tasked with writing a modern love story. one that swoons readers with classic tropes, one that pulls on their heartstrings with the right amount of angst, and, ultimately, one that makes us believe two imperfect people can find the perfect relationship together. we look forward to your first manuscript!”

“oh, i see…”

“yeah. they’ve asked me to write a story that i have practically nothing in my own experiences to draw from. i can’t exactly copy stories that are already out there when the whole point of this novel is that the characters are human and believable. they need me to write a story with heart, with messiness, and certainly with a happy ending. i’ve had the mess a few times, sure, but not for long enough to keep anybody’s attention if i turn the story into something more than a casual conversation piece over drinks.”

you push your laptop away, not wanting to look at the prompt or empty word document for another second. instead, you opt for a swig of your coffee, praying the caffeine would lift your spirits, if nothing else.

felix’s brow is furrowed as the gears in his head turn quickly. it’s hard not to laugh at his expression, cute and sincere simultaneously. you keep yourself quiet, smiling in appreciation of your friend’s genuine concern for your professional predicament.

“first, i’ll admit that this sucks. i can’t imagine how frustrating it’d be to feel almost…disconnected from an assignment you were so excited to receive. i can’t exactly offer help with my relationship history,” felix laughs, sharing your pain of bad luck in love, “but maybe if we combine our disappointments with jisung’s hopeless romantic outlook, you could come up with something?”

you sigh. it wouldn’t be out of the question to ask jisung for help. he’s a dear friend, just like felix, and he never struggles to write a love song for work. creative collaboration wouldn’t hurt, right? well, maybe it hurts your pride a little to go running to your brilliant music producer and songwriter best friend for advice on your first-ever real book deal. at this point, though, what other choice do you have?

“yeah, maybe you’re right.”

felix grins, “let’s go visit him at the studio then! we can bring him lunch in exchange for his assistance!”

“i mean…he is our best friend, so i don’t see why we have to pay him,” you tease, already packing up your things.

“i was going to pay for everyone’s food, but i guess we can all just fend for ourselves–”

“no! i’m being dumb and rude! buying lunch for jisung is a wonderful idea!”

felix laughs, texting jisung to alert him of your ETA and to get his order from your usual restaurant.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

jisung tosses his spoon into the nearly empty takeout container and claps his hands together, “okay! let’s get started!”

you sigh, stretching your arms and neck before pulling out your laptop. felix settles in the corner, ready to spend time on his phone while you and jisung work your magic.

“can i see the prompt they sent you?”

nodding, you hand jisung your laptop and explain, “i understand what they want. almost too well, probably. the issue is i have absolutely no inspiration for it.”

“yeah, i could’ve guessed that,” jisung teases, nervously laughing after the death glare you send him.

felix chimes in from his spot in the studio’s corner, “play nice, jisung! they’re practically baring their soul to you asking for help.”

“okay, let’s not be dramatic here,” you shake your hand to dissipate the idea that you’re being as vulnerable as you are right now.

“drama might help, actually,” felix suggests, not looking up from his phone.

you look over to jisung, waiting for him to weigh in. a bit to your dismay, jisung agrees with felix.

“so you’re saying my life is too boring for me to write this book?”

jisung shakes his head, “no! i’m saying your love life is too boring. i say that with peace and love, of course–”

“how can you–”

jisung continues before you fall down a rabbit hole of bickering, “i think the reason i can write so many love songs is because i put myself out there. sure, i fall too hard too fast and get my heart broken more often than i’d like to admit, but i am able to do what i do because i let my heart experience everything. i haven’t been in real, capital-L love many times; however, even the littlest of loves, the glimpses of a future with someone, those can be a bigger source of inspiration than you’d expect.”

“wow, jisung, that was…really deep.”

you chuckle at felix’s response, before looking at the very earnest jisung again, “it’s not like i haven’t loved someone before. you remember…”

your voice trails off, too afraid to say his name, too afraid to bring the memories of your first love into the room with you. jisung nods knowingly and speaks quickly enough to prevent you from searching for words to fill the empty space.

“i could never forget that, y/n. maybe that could be something you pull from. i’m more than happy to retell you some of my romantic mishaps–you know i’ve got plenty–but i think, for a story as heartfelt as the one they want you to write, for a story as real as the one you want to create, it needs to come from the perspective of you now, not you then.”

you sigh, finding it impossible to disagree with his advice. for as much as you and felix tease him for getting his hopes up with every person he feels the slightest bit of a connection to, you both would admit in a heartbeat that he is the most well-versed lover in the world. you wished, secretly, that you could muster up the courage he does without even blinking an eye. you just weren’t wired like that, especially after you got your heart broken a few years ago.

“so what? do i start dating now and hope that i get enough romance before the first draft is due in three months?”

“good luck with that,” felix scoffs, “there are way too many duds on dating apps these days.”

jisung shoots felix a frustrated look, but he just shrugs in reply. 

“cool, so no dating but i need to fall in love. do either of you happen to have cupid on speed dial?”

they laugh, and felix adds, “if only you could be in a fake dating fanfic or something. then you’d really have something to work with.”

all three of you burst into laughter at the idea, and, once you calm down, jisung says, “actually…there might be something to that.”

“you can’t be serious?” you raise an eyebrow skeptically.

jisung puts his hands up defensively, “hear me out! it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to fake date someone you know, if it’s for the sake of work. between the three of us, we could probably find someone!”

“no way am i sending out requests for a fake partner. that couldn’t work, and it would be so embarrassing.” 

you shiver at the idea. jisung doesn’t budge, though he admits that it’s a long shot for it to work. felix suggests that you three reminisce about jisung’s recent romantic pursuits, which you do for a couple of hours. when it’s time for you to pack your things, you’re barely farther than the starting line. jisung apologizes that he couldn’t be more help, and felix offers to bake you your favorite treat as consolation. you assure both of them that they shouldn’t feel bad–you accept felix’s baked goods, of course–but, try as you might, you can’t get rid of the slump in your shoulders. this book is supposed to be a big step towards your dream. this story is supposed to be your gateway to being the writer you were meant to be. you never expected it to go smoothly, but you have to admit that you wish something as easy as a fanfic trope would solve your problem.

as felix says goodnight, he smiles softly, “hey, y/n, don’t be too hard on yourself, okay? it’s frustrating, and it feels like there’s no way out, but you’re smart and capable and strong enough to see it through. plus, the universe will take care of it. someone will show up sooner rather than later, and you’ll have that story in no time!”

you smile, grateful for his neverending efforts to make you feel better, “thanks, sunshine. i’ll try to have the same kind of hope you have, despite everything.”

“despite everything,” he nods firmly before turning away to head back home himself.

you stare at the door, your place quiet, save the humming sound of your appliances, and you wonder how fate could have anything to offer you with such short notice.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

felix picks a few stray pieces of lint off your top and smiles proudly once your outfit is perfect. even though you’re feeling nervous, you can’t help but smile back at your friend’s beaming face.

“thank you again for coming with me to this, y/n. i don’t know if i could survive a whole company event without someone i like by my side.”

“don’t you have changbin? i’m sure he’d happily stay by your side all night.”

“i do,” felix agrees, “but he said he was bringing a plus-one, so i didn’t want to third wheel.”

“ah, how lovely it feels to be chosen as a preventative for third-wheeling,” you tease as felix opens the venue door for you.

“jisung isn’t the only one who can be romantic,” felix giggles and nudges your shoulder with his, helping to relax your nerves.

the venue is rather large, and there are more strangers here than you’d prefer. thankfully, you see changbin waving from a distance, so you know there won’t be any awkward small talk with felix’s other coworkers to get through. though they met through work, changbin and felix have been friends for years, thus making you a friend in changbin’s eyes. you take a couple of drinks from a waiter as changbin not-so-smoothly rushes his way towards you and felix, a tall person close behind him. as felix and changbin greet each other, you do a quick sweep over changbin’s plus-one. he’s well-dressed, probably the most fashionable one in the whole place, and frustratingly statuesque in appearance. his black hair frames his face and brushes his neck ever so slightly, and the only thing preventing him from looking dark and mysterious is the softness of his features, particularly his sweet brown eyes.

“y/n! this is hyunjin,” changbin grins, gesturing to the person beside him.

“hi y/n, it’s nice to meet you,” hyunjin smiles, voice lilting delicately.

you smile, unable to resist the naturally playful glint in his eye, “it’s nice to meet you too, hyunjin. how do you know changbin?”

“we met back in university,” hyunjin answers, “we lived together for the first two years.”

“best two years of my life!” changbin wraps an arm around hyunjin, and hyunjin laughs loudly.

“cute!” felix smiles, “so glad i get to finally meet you in person, hyunjin.”

“likewise,” hyunjin nods.

the conversation jumps around, mostly directed by changbin and felix telling anecdotes about the various coworkers that pass by. you and hyunjin laugh and ask questions, gasping at the drama and ridiculousness that pervades their workplace. eventually, felix asks what hyunjin does for work, and you’re surprised to learn that he’s a painter. or, rather, he works in design to pay the bills and paints in all of his free time, showing works wherever and whenever he can to build his reputation in the city.

“that’s so cool!” felix exclaims, and then points to you, “y/n is a writer. i’m sure you two could relate on a bunch of stuff since you’re both creative professionals.”

“what do you write?” hyunjin asks, looking at you intently as he takes a sip of his drink.

“fiction, mostly. i’ve taken plenty of different freelance gigs in the past that gave me experience writing all sorts of things, but i prefer writing short stories and novels.”

changbin lights up, “oh that’s right! congratulations are in order!”

you smile sheepishly, and explain, after hyunjin asks, that you just signed a ghostwriting book deal with a publishing company.

“that’s incredible! i know it couldn’t have been easy to secure that. i’d love to read some of your work since you’ve clearly got talent.”

“thank you, hyunjin, but i don’t know about that,” you laugh a little, “we’ll see if i have enough talent to write this book.”

hyunjin’s brow furrows, and felix responds, “they’re having some writer’s block. the prompt is a little…out of their wheelhouse. i have no doubt they’ll figure it out though!”

you pat felix’s shoulder lovingly, “yes, he believes that i’ll figure it out as soon as the universe sends me someone to fake date.”

changbin tilts his head in confusion, “is it a fake dating story?”

you swallow a sip of your drink and shake your head, “no, it’s supposed to be a ‘modern love story.’ full of angst and authenticity, and, most importantly, it’s supposed to be human enough to make us all believe it’s possible.”

hyunjin chuckles when you roll your eyes, which makes you blush a little as you realize he’s watching you so closely. 

“well, if you need someone to fake date,” changbin grins, “hyunjin would probably be a good fit.”

it’s time for you to tilt your head in confusion, “wait. hyunjin isn’t your boyfriend?”

hyunjin throws his head back and cackles while changbin giggles, “no, unfortunately we’re just friends. maybe one day i can break through, but five years down the line, i’m still getting rejected.”

“oh, stop pouting!” hyunjin smacks changbin’s shoulder, “you don’t actually want to date me.”

“and how would you know that?” changbin wiggles his eyebrows, “can’t a guy dream of dating someone like you?”

“it seems like you’re going to be dreaming for a long time, changbin. you might just not be their type,” felix teases.

their type? 

“anyway,” changbin says after his giggles die down, “hyunjin has been struggling with the theme for an exhibition they have coming up. maybe you two could help each other out!”

“what’s giving you writer’s–or, should i say, painter’s block?” you ask.

hyunjin chuckles, “the theme is ‘yearning.’ my friend, jeongin, is the gallery director and has been on a real angst kick these days after meeting someone special. not that i don’t have my fair share of yearning experiences, but i just can’t crack into something deep enough to create something that matters, you know?”

you sure did know, which is how you two spent almost the entire night discussing inspiration, love, heartache, creativity, longing, and everything else possible. eventually, felix and changbin leave you two alone to talk to their other coworkers, given that they couldn’t get a word in edge-wise with how passionately the two of you were talking. if you were honest, you hardly noticed they were gone. that’s just how captivating the conversation, and hyunjin, were. 

“ugh, it feels so good to talk to someone who gets it,” hyunjin sighs.

“i agree,” you smile, “it may not solve the problem, but it reduces the stress.”

“cheers to that!”

you and hyunjin clink your glasses together, and you reply, “also, sorry if i misgendered you when i assumed you were changbin’s boyfriend. totally my bad!”

hyunjin waves his hand in the air, “don’t worry about it! you weren’t exactly wrong. i use they/he pronouns, so technically i could be a boyfriend. just not changbin’s.”

you two laugh at this, and you’re relieved that you didn’t unintentionally get off on the wrong foot with someone who can relate to your current creative predicament so deeply.

“actually, speaking of boyfriends…” hyunjin trails off, waiting to get your full attention.

“what about them?”

“i’d be happy to be your fake one, if you really did want to try that out.”

“oh, you don’t have to do that,” you laugh a little, “that was an idea my friends brought up, but i didn’t take it seriously.”

hyunjin nods, “i see. well, even if it seems ridiculous, i think it could work. hell, i’d be down to try it too. i’m feeling pretty frustrated about this painting series, and maybe something out of pocket like a fanfic trope could do the trick.”

you observe them, trying to catch a sign that he’s joking, “really?”

“yeah,” they shrug, “what’s the harm? you’re a writer who needs inspiration, and i’m a painter who needs inspiration. instead of doing some dramatic spiritual artist retreat in the middle of nowhere, we take each other on some dates and explore the ideas of love and yearning together. sort of like a…group project!”

his eyes light up, and you can feel yourself getting won over already by their charm, “when do you have to finish your paintings?”

“i have to bring them to jeongin in three months.”

huh.

“that’s…well, that timing’s sort of perfect,” you admit, “my first manuscript is due in three months.”

hyunjin grins, “so it sounds like we might give this fake dating thing a try?”

you sigh, unsure of what you could be getting yourself into, “what would that even look like?”

hyunjin hums, putting their hand to their chin, deep in thought. you let a silence fall between you two, hoping one of you can come up with a good idea. your bet is on hyunjin, though, because you can’t begin to think through how a fake dating situation between two artists, two muses, should go.

hyunjin snaps his fingers, “i’ve got it! let’s say we just take each other on dates for the next three months. no expectations for the dates, no strict schedule, and no pressure to actually develop feelings or fall in love. we spend time together naturally, go through the experiences of getting to know someone, and we use that for our work. if, after a few weeks, it isn’t doing the trick, then we call it off. no harm, no foul. what do you say?”

maybe it was their enthusiasm. maybe you’re a sucker for a beautiful person with a creative mind. maybe you trust that someone who is good friends with sweetheart changbin could only have the best of intentions. maybe, just maybe, you trust what felix said the other day about the universe giving you what you need for this book to work out. whatever it is, something convinced you to stretch your hand out toward hyunjin.

hyunjin shakes your hand, and you smile, “no harm, no foul.”

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

tag list: @velvetmoonlght (<333 tysm)

[yanderes-galore]

Can you do Mike afton with your prompts 57, 53, and 10? Also can it be romantic?

Sure! I'll see what I can do :) Been a bit since I've done this AU. This is a new take on it.

@okchijt helped me with this so this is mostly their take while I filled in the plot they gave me. Requester wanted FLS AU.

Yandere! FLS! Michael Afton Concept

What is the FLS AU?

Yandere! FLS AU! Michael Afton Prompts 57, 53, and 10

"You're stuck with me, like it or not."

"I left you a few voice mails, why didn't you pick up?"

"I've given myself all to you! Yet you call me a monster!"

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Violence, Breaking and entering, Manipulation, Kidnapping implied, Forced relationship implied.

The phone rings on and on as you type away at your keyboard. On screen is an email soon to be sent to your boss, Henry. You were nearly at a breakthrough on an important case.

Incriminating evidence filled the email. Many documents and notes were attached all about two people behind a long list of murders. The case of The Aftons was very important to your employer.

Your job was to play detective. You were meant to work for them at their Pizzeria, collect evidence, then leave. That was it... that was the job.

Then one of them, the son, got attached.

You had a feeling he caught on to you. Even now as you type away and prepare to send Henry your evidence your phone rings. You knew it was him, the voice mails were endless.

You hadn't bothered to listen to them. Instead you focused on your email by putting on the final touches. Then your mouse drifted to the send button...

Only for the power to cut.

You go silent, eyes blown wide and looking at the computer in shock. There wasn't any storms. Did you flip something by accident?

"I left you a few voice mails, why didn't you pick up? Are you ignoring me?"

The voice echoes from close by and you feel the hair on your skin shoot up. You spin your chair around and search the darkness for answers. Unfortunately... your questions are answered.

Michael stands in the doorway of the room. His posture is confident and he stares at you like you're his newest prey. You can only stare as he blocks your exit.

"Don't you know how much I've done for you?" Michael sighs. "I've been protecting you from my father as I already know your plans. I could've just killed you... but now I like you too much for that."

The man in front of you does a fake pout while leaning in the doorway. The fact he knew everything made your heart drop to your stomach. He's more clever than you thought.

"I've already sacrificed so much by allowing these games to play out. However, this still means I have to prevent you from exposing the family business, y'know?" Michael sighs, playing with your emotions to satiate the sadism within him.

"You're a monster for doing all of this!" You yell at the man. You can see Michael feign shock and surprise before chuckling.

"I've given myself all to you! Yet you call me a monster!" Michael accuses in a playful manner before turning serious. "I could've just killed you, but I'm nice enough to protect you and let you live!"

You quickly stand up to keep distance as Michael walks forward. Despite the situation you manage to keep yourself calm. It's in the line of work, after all. Yet you still find yourself shaking when he gets close to you.

"I've been so patient with you. I think things should go my way for once, shouldn't they?" Michael hums towards you. You try to run around him but he catches you with ease. It's funny to him... did you not think he was an experienced killer?

You feel your chest hit the desk hard as your arms are held behind your back. The resulting impact causes the computer to crash onto the ground, the email and evidence now long destroyed. Panic sets in as struggle and fight against the killer behind you.

Said killer only appears excited by your fate.

"I think it's time you rest, dear. Isn't it getting late?" Michael coos, raising the knife in his hand. You suddenly feel a blunt object smack into your head before your vision darkens.

"You're stuck with me, like it or not." Michael whispers with a giggle before your vision fails you.

[adorationmajestic]

Cypress' TLT Fic Recs (October '24)

Aight. I've never made a rec list before but imma give it a try. No ratings, just praise. No, it's not just halloween/fall themed stuff, that just happens to be what month it is right now lol. Visit the whole list on Ao3: here (link to the bookmarker tag).

I have a few categories for you! Something Hot, Something Long, and Something Still Going.

These are from a variety of years and sizes. Most of them are Griddlehark, but I sprinkled some other pairings in like salt bae.

Next time I'll give something a little more organized and varied. Probably.

First category: Something Hot

Hungry Like the Wolf by Slaycinder - GriddleHark (2 chapters, approx. 13k words) There's two tags that stuck out to me, upon first glance. These were: Local Woman Nearly Dies for the Vussy: Says it Was Quote "Worth It", and Unrelated: have you ever seen needlessly badass artwork of wolves and naked women? I think these two tags do, indeed, sum up what happens quite well. Very hot. Gave me those very special spine tinglies that once upon a time told me that I do in fact like women, vampires, and werewolves. You are never gonna guess what three things this fic has.

Between the Lines by Rohad - Griddlehark (8 chapters, approx. 30k) A modern AU: a stunning look into the life of editor Harrowhark Nonagesimus. She's been assigned to work with one of her publisher's favorite little meow meows, Gideon Nav (an erotic fiction author) (who Harrow hates) (even though they've only ever spoken via email). Harrow accompanies the awful horrible Nav to a few conventions for book signings. This one, in as much as I've tagged it as belonging to the "Something Hot" category, is honestly packed full of feels as well. Harrow and Gideon have to learn how to communicate effectively, and how to interact respectfully, and they learn a lot about each other as well. Rohad's reworking of their respective backstories to fit into the modern day has me FLOORED.

I am a conversation by sluggg - PaulDve (1 chapter, approx. 5k) This work caught my eye with the tag Paul stop quoting Steven Universe it is making everyone uncomfortable and honestly I probably wouldn't have noticed the quotes if I hadn't then actively been looking. Sluggg fits them in just perfectly. There are a precious few Paul/Pyrrha works (and they are ALL bangers actually) and this is for sure one of my favorites.

put some goddamn moves on you (god knows you need it) by hoteyedwraith - CamPal (2 chapters, approx. 23k) This one has a very simple premise, but it really hits home for me. I can relate to Camilla in this modern AU in a very real way, and it felt very very good to reach the end of this work and see the metaphorical light at the end of the tunnel. Cam has a bit of an issue, but she doesn't know what the problem is. But it is fixable, and Palamedes lends a hand.

If you've noticed a theme so far, yes. I like my horny with a pinch of sad. What are you gonna do about it.

Second category: Something Long (For those of us who like em big)

The Process of Elimination by zoicite - GriddleHark (8 chapters, approx. 122k) That Regency AU from HtN! The two tags I would like to highlight are; Season 1 of The Bachelorette: Canaan House and Fake/Pretend Relationship. It is probably a general fanfic staple that every pairing MUST have at least one fic where they pretend to be in love and then slowly fall in love for real. It's a classic, and it never fucking gets old. I stayed up til about 4am reading this for three nights in a row. I'm not a slow reader, by any means, but this one hits different after 10pm honestly (when my emotions are at their easiest to sway) and if you can handle that sort of sleep gymnastics (and you brain works similarly) I would recommend giving that a try.

Cataclysmic Variable Star by Elldritch - GriddleHark (101 chapters, 190k exactly) I stayed up reading this one until I passed out about an hour before my alarm went off. I DO NOT RECOMMEND DOING THAT. This one, you want to have full command of your faculties because this one will make you think. It is a Harrow Nova AU rewriting of GtN and HtN (written before NtN released!) and is a beautiful piece of literature. You want a full night of sleep before grabbing this one by the reins! It is fabulously put together, drawing everything that needs to happen from each of its sources, but with a twist at each turn that you certainly won't see coming.

orbits, eccentric, on course for collision by Stacicity - DiosApate (9 chapters, approx. 76k) The timeline of HtN as told by Augustine Quinque. I might have gone slightly insane and left 800+ word comments on each chapter, which goes to show just how invested I have been in this. Looking at that word count, you might go "Huh. That's not that much, Cy. That's less than half the size of the last one." You would technically be right. But the way with which Augustine perceives time might change how you feel about that. Even if you aren't writing whole essays in the comment section, this one goes by slower somehow. I recommend pulling it up and then having an extra tab open to look up a few of these words in a dictionary. Stacicity has (correctly) decided that Augustine would use a lot of high-level words. This is, frankly, above my reading level (/joke).

Third category: Something Still Going

God Is Dog Spelled Backwards by labyrinthineRetribution - GriddleHark (more than 8k) As of writing this list, this work has 2 chapters. The plot has just gotten started, and I'm intrigued. This title stands out from the crowd in terms of the way it handles the setting (modern AU, somewhere in Aotearoa). Gideon really is the saddest girl in the world, I think, in a very complicated sort of way. I will wait patiently for as long as it takes to see this story develop.

Dividers by enchanthings

[dullgecko]

i think that riz often just sits in his wardrobe when he gets stressed/overstimulated because he likes small spaces

he has some fairy lights and like one of those dim reading lamps and comfy blankets and pillows and he just sits under the clothes, and often fabian will come and sit and talk to him through the door with his back against it. he knows not to open the door unless riz says because one time he did and it was too bright for riz and he freaked out and scratched him then pulled it closed

Rizs rogue exams aren't anything like the assessments his other friends do for their specialised classes. Hells, his rogue /classes/ aren't like their classes. All their school work is dolled out via cyphers and hidden clues and dead drops of information packets that need to be checked for traps before they're opened.

Given that their normal everyday classwork is that intense their exams are on an entire different level. Riz had spent an entire week "studying" for his exams, on top of the more mundane subjects they also taught at Aguefort, and had only /just/ managed to put the clues together to find out WHERE his rogue exams were taking place before he had to race off to the exam location.

He'd ended up having to ditch his friends that night, everyone else getting together for post-exam celebrations and icecream, in order to book it across town to the stadium. The goal of the exam was searching through the crowd at a massive concert to find their correct contact among a sea of fakes, get the information they needed, and get out without being spotted.

The rogue had already been exhausted before he got there but had to push himself hard to complete his mission. He did it, of course, dodging the fakes among the blaring music and flashing lights and sending a photo of his exam sheet to the proper email inbox before heading home. It was too much for him though, the bus ride home nearly sending him into a meltdown before he even got back to his apartment.

He'd never been super good with concerts, hell he didn't go to any other than Fig and Gorgugs, but at least his friends were smart enough not to use rapidly strobe-ing lighting effects in their shows. Without his light filtering glasses he might not have been able to push through long enough to finish his exam and get home. The rogue collapsing face down on his couch the instant he got home and covering his head with a pillow.

It didn't help that there were several other Aguefort students in the building either, Rizs sensitive hearing able to pick up on the loud music two floors down from their post exam celebrations that was clearly audible due to the shitty soundproofing.

It was at that point that Riz gave up, dragging himself to his room and shucking his vest and button up so he was left with just his soft undershirt. Lights getting flicked off in his room as he clambered into the small space in the bottom corner of his closet and slammed the door behind him. The blankets and clothes he'd stuffed inside doing a good job of blocking out the extra noise as he tried to decompress.

He stayed hunkered down there for a while, how long he wasn't sure but evidently long enough that his friends were sure he was done with his exam. Crystal buzzing with notifications from the group chat as they tried to see how he went.

He didn't answer with words, just sending through a series of photos he'd taken of the concert before turning the camera on himself and switching to video call mode. The closet was dark though so all they could see was his glowing eyes as his crystal screen reflected off them. His own screen getting dimmed as far down as it could go without turning off as his friends accepted the call.

Initially it was a mosaic of five different faces and camera angles of a booth in Basrars, then there was a little scuffling before it was trimmed down to just Figs. The archdevil propping her phone up in the booth where Riz would usually sit.

"Dude hi! You all finished with your rogue stuff?" Fig beamed, getting squished a bit by Kristen and Gorgug as they both tried to squeeze into the camera frame with her.

"Mmm"

"Cool. You passed?"

"Yeah. It was a close thing though."

"But you still aced it right?"

"Yeah." Riz reached behind himself to click on the dim light he kept in the cupboard, propping his phone up on his briefcase which he'd dragged into the closet with him so he could sit up and be properly in the camera view. He was sure he looked haggard after the week of assessments and he couldn't muster the energy to lift his ears out of their tired droop.

"I'm not going to come out tonight sorry. I don't think I could... deal..."

"Oof. One of those nights huh?" Fig made a sympathetic expression at the camera when Riz nodded and rubbed his hands over his face.

Honestly they were lucky he was even verbal at this point but he thought they at least deserved an apology. They'd been gushing about their plans for tonight all week and Basrars had only been the first stop.

"We don't have to go out tonight if you're not feeling it. We can reschedule." Fig picked up the phone and held it so she was the only person in view. Shushing her other team-mates as they tried to pipe in to the conversation.

"Don't... don't cancel on my account it's fine. Just take photos and stuff." Riz sighed, leaning back against the wall and bringing his legs up so he could hug his knees. "I'll feel bad if you cancel."

"Okay. Let us know when you're feeling up to hanging out okay? Got the WHOLE weekend to fill." She blew the camera a kiss, Riz sure she'd just tried to give him bardic over the call, before disconnecting.

The goblin sighed, slapping the light switch to put himself back into comfortable darkness again. Eventually, when he got bored of sitting and doing nothing, he pulled his arcubus out of his bag and started disassembling it to clean and do maintenance. Not even bothering to turn the light back on since he could still see just fine with his dark vision.

He was halfway through cleaning some of the internal components when he heard his front door being unlocked. The sound of several pairs of feet entering his apartment before one broke away and entered his room. Two soft knocks on the closet door announcing their presence properly before they all left, the front door getting shut and locked behind them.

Riz cocked his head to the side and listened for a few minutes after they left, opening the closet door to see what all the fuss had been about. The goblin smiling when he spotted a milkshake in a takeaway cup left just outside his hiding spot, grabbing it and dragging it inside before shutting the door again.

[heavenlycloud]

dream a little dream: yunjin x fem! reader ✧°🍒‧｡°

request: hi! It says that soft hours are open and I just had a thought from watching the LE SSERAFIM x Dream Academy Video where the fimmies surprised the contestants. Imagine being the 6th member of LE SSERAFIM and being in a relationship with yunjin and you both are smiling happily and holding hands while greeting the contestants, and then once you all leave some of the contestants are like “omg the way they look at each other, they’re definitely dating” or something of that sort LOL 🩷

a/n: ok so funny story i read this and then wrote it all whilst being sleep deprived and slightly delirious…so i lowkey mixed up the details but i can go back and rewrite it if you’re not satisfied (this is why i need sleep and why i need to stop trying to write from memory cuz i can’t do it).

Becoming an idol had been your dream since you were 14 years old as a freshman in high school. one of your friends showed you their favorite girl groups and you were immediately sucked into the world of kpop. as you went through high school and entered university your hope of making your dream come true slowly dwindled. companies were starting to debut girls younger and younger which you didn’t think gave you much of a chance at 18 years old. that was until you got an email from someone about submitting an audition for a new girl group that would form under HYBE in the next year. at first you thought it was a scam, but after doing a deep dive on the internet you realized it was more real than fake. you submitted the audition with little hope knowing that you’d practically ‘aged out’ of the trainee age range, on top of the fact that you hadn’t been singing or dancing since infancy like every idol seemed to have done. so it was a huge surprise when you got an email back 8 weeks later confirming that you passed the audition. by some miracle you’d convinced your parents to let you go to Korea to become a trainee under HYBE with the hopes of debut. truthfully, they only said yes knowing that you’d probably be sent back home after 6 months…and your university credits were valid for the next 10 years so you could pick up where you left off. 

Much like your parents assumed, you were sent back home, but instead of after 6 months, it was after 2 years. you gave everything you could to the trainee program but in the end you didn’t make the final cut due to “not having the look the group needed”. you were heartbroken to leave your new friends, the seven girls who were supposed to make HYBE’s new girl group. the three younger girls that had become like your little sisters, the two older girls that were like your older sisters, and the one same aged girl who was your best friend…maybe a little more. on your last day in the company you laughed while saying your final goodbyes, clinging onto your girls in a huddle as you tried to have a positive outlook on a shitty situation. when you got back home you were devastated to say the least. for the first few weeks you only cried and wished things had worked in your favor, until one day you refused to wallow in your sorrows any longer. 

you made a promise that you’d see them again, that you’d see her again and laying around crying all day wasn’t going to make that happen. so, you began practicing again using the techniques and lessons you’d learned over your 2 year long trainee experience. when the audition announcement came out this time around you didn’t hesitate to apply to the same company that let you go a year ago. given how hard you worked, it was absolutely no surprise when you found out HYBE wanted you back in their trainee program. at this point your parents didn’t bother refusing once again knowing university would be there if you ended up coming back home again. however, with the way you’d been training yourself it wasn’t looking like that would be an option. honestly you didn’t know if your driving force was to prove to yourself or to the people that sent you home that you had what it takes, but regardless you were ready this time. by the end of the first mission it was clear to the judges, trainers, and other contestants that you were certainly a force to be reckoned with. you’d only ever heard praises and slight critiques that could be fixed immediately from your trainers and judges. 

the eighteen of you all filed into the practice room and filled the seats as you sat in front of the screen that was presumably going to show your second mission. you sat between lara and sophia holding both of their hands as you anxiously watched the screen in front of you. their grips on your hand tightened when they saw the members of le sserafim appear, reacting to the Dream Academy trailer. squeals and screams filled the room as everyone shared their shock but you only laughed, finding it funny that this was the way they were seeing you again for the first time since you left. lara shook your hand and told you, “i swear if we ever meet them, i’m asking them to dance fearless with you.” a bunch of the other girls around you oohed and agreed before putting their attention back on the monitor. at some point you completely zoned out, only coming back to when you heard eunchae say, “the second ANTIFRAGILE team members are “Iliya, Karlee, Samara, Megan, and Y/N.” you leaned forward and looked at them with a big smile, nodding in agreement over your excitement to be teamed together. 

the five of you sat on the floor of the practice room and started talking about the song choice, karlee starting off with explaining how she wanted this song more. you all nodded in agreement and the other girls chimed in talking about their worries and what they were most excited for. after a moment the conversation stopped and all eyes were on you, “what?” your teammates laughed at you and you admitted, “i mean like…i’m not that nervous guys. i’ve done this performance in the shower a bunch so i meannnn…plus if i flop yunjin called me pretty so-” the girls around you fell over laughing and karlee pointed out, “dude she literally knows you.” in return you playfully glared and held your hand out, “can you let me have my moment?” megan and samara laughed even harder while iliya covered her face though her giggles. you all divided up your parts evenly, you getting kazhua’s part because of the leg extension, and megan insisting yours looked better when you couldn’t tell much of a difference. 

Throughout the practices you were given the dance leadership role which you tried to avoid but it was inevitable given your trainee history. there were little to no breaks, an incredible amount of jet lag, and a time crunch of only a few days before your performance. the pressure was certainly there and you could feel it especially with the weight of being an ex- HYBE trainee and the leader of your group. hours passed with you all in the practice room, your trainer comforting iliya as she cried out of stress and exhaustion combined with her own self doubt. you patted her shoulder and told her, “it’s okay…i cried yesterday in the shower and almost drowned in my tears and the shower water because i breathed through my nose.” the younger girl couldn’t help but laugh and you did too seeing the smile return to her face. 

*meanwhile*

“We’re watching them react to us watching their trailer and mission announcement.” chaewon and yunjin explained to their members in their van. the girls huddled around the ipad and a smile tugged at all of their faces when they saw you amongst your teammates. they watched closely, listening to all of your members speak their worries until it was your turn to talk which caused all of them to laugh, especially your banter with karlee. yunjin murmured, “i didn’t know i missed her this much.” chaewon side eyed her discreetly while eunchae and kazuha stifled a laugh. they then sent chaewon inside the practice room to pose as a staff member to record a tiktok for you and the rest of the contestants. when you all were in line you noticed how she was more covered than the rest of the staff members in the room. you narrowed your eyes, and then it was your turn aside Manon. when you made it to the front you just knew, but you only smiled and danced, the only person who also knew was chaewon herself when you winked. 

chaewon pulled off her mask and hood, “surprise!” the other girls screamed in excitement, only getting louder when the other idols walked in soon after. you ended up with marquise clinging to your side with her hands over her face. yunjin then started speaking in english, “we heard you all were practicing our songs right?” they all nodded and she added, “we’re so excited to see you guys, it’s crazy that we’re meeting you in this practice room. yunjin asked the contestants, “did you all expect it?” the girls overlapped one another with refusing responses to which the black haired girl responded, “we thought it’d be obvious…so we were like we should prank you.” the girls once again reacted with laughing and squeals which yunjin took the opportunity to make louder, “wait i think i know all of your names though.” 

Everyone straightened out into a more clear line and yunjin looked down the line and asked, “Iliya, right?” your teammate nodded and yunjin continued, “and Ezrela. Sophia, Emily, Celeste, Karlee, Marquise, Y/N-” there was a difference in her tone when she said your name, a different smile on her face, until you deadpanned, “No.” there was a second of complete silence before you burst out laughing and said, “no i’m kidding i’m sorry. do your thing.” yunjin and her members all laughed too, chaewon immediately mimicking you quietly, “no.” the black haired girl then said, “she always does this.” your teammates all laughed and nodded in agreement earning a satisfied smile from you. yunjin continued, “sorry ok- um Y/N, Megan, Brooklyn, Lara, Lexie, Samara, Daniela, Manon, Mei, aaaand Ua. Aaaand Nayoung, Yoonchae. Right?”   everyone cheered and clapped and she explained, “because i see you guys so much on like TikTok, YouTube, and everything!” you all turned into each other giggling and smiling until it was time to perform for the girls with your mission teams. 

Your team went first, you gathering your girls into a small huddle and telling them quietly, “just relax. we got this. alright come on, eat it up?” your teammates said in unison, “no dinner!” you laughed at the phrase you taught them on the first day, still using it now. while performing you had your nerves, especially knowing that the idols in front of you had seen your practice videos, one of which included you crying, something they’d never seen in the two years they knew you. while performing you kept your eyes on your old friends, primarily the one who still held a piece of your heart. the hours of practicing and endless stretching to get kazuha’s leg extension perfect paid off when you saw the look on all five of their faces when you did the move. 

Iliya stood beside you as you were between her and samara while le sserafim gave you all feedback as two teams. chaewon pointed out samara, praising her for the eye contact she made opposed to looking into the mirror, a common mistake amongst trainees during evaluations. kazuha looked at you and said, “y/n, your leg extension was so good! honestly you could just take my place next time we perform because you were that good.” you laughed and thanked her, sending a fond smile her way, the same one that always brought her comfort after long practices. samara tickled your leg and you playfully swatted her hand away, making her giggle quietly. when you thought one of the girls would now talk to the two teams as a whole, yunjin turned her attention to you. yunjin looked you dead in the eye, pulling a smile onto your previously stoic face. she told you, “y/n. i know from the practice videos you were worried about being leader, looking at everything to the smallest detail. but everything you did for your teammates paid off because you’re perfe- your team was perfect.” everyone in the room ouuuuu-ed which made you cover your face in slight embarrassment, yunjin doing the same. she then added, “and karlee i know you weren’t feeling well but you literally killed it…and team A, you guys chose your name right because you slayed.” the four girls burst into laughter and you all thanked the girls for their feedback before heading back to your seats, not before you sent a wink yunjin’s way which she instinctively made a heart with her hands back to you. when you sat back down you were sandwiched between lara and megan, both of whom whispered together, “you’re perfecttttt” then made the same hearts with their hands to you that yunjin did. you playfully scoffed and hoped they couldn’t feel your body getting hot with embarrassment as they teased you. 

after everyone finished their performances you all had the chance to ask the girls for anything you wanted to know. you were the first to raise your hand, “i think a big worry of us, as in all 19 of us is that we are now in a place where this is competition. all of us want to do well individually but even more than that we want one another to succeed so we can make it to the end together. it’s a given that the group won’t be 19 members. so knowing that eventually we will be sending home many of our best friends, sisters, soulmates… or whatever- like what can we do or tell ourselves so we don’t end up just dwelling on that fact? how can we keep going after dealing with that over and over?”  yunjin nodded in understanding and responded genuinely,  “wow that is a big question. there is like a motto that i live by where i just try my best to believe that everything happens for a reason. you all met for a reason, and you’re together for a reason…and i think goodbyes are unfortunately inevitable-” it was at this point that you realized she was staring directly at you. yunjin caught herself staring and looked away as she continued, “ but i think that is part of growing. and just the fact that you all collectively have this kind of worry is very touching and i kind of like teared up a little inside because it’s very hard to meet people who both support you while also maintaining your own individual driving force. i think it’s just kind of making every experience and opportunity…it’s important to continue rooting each other on. i think that’s the best way to keep going forward just knowing you know-” again her eyes found yours, “just knowing that even if you’re not together one day you will end up seeing each other again.” now there was a smile on her face as she looked at you, looking away to make it less obvious, “that’s what happened to me actually. I had practiced for quite a few years but after debuting and working my best in the end we came full circle and they were also doing their best so in the end we met.” she looked back at only you, “just take this time and make as many memories and relationships as you can. don’t be afraid of the pain that comes with having to let someone go because you can use that to get to where you want to be.” she paused then spoke as if you were the only other one in the room, “because look where we are now y/n.” you nodded and the four idols around yunjin ouuuu-ed making the rest of the contestants giggle. eunchae quietly remarked, “this just got really personal…” everyone laughed as yunjin slapped her leg lightly and brooklyn beside you started poking your side. 

a few seats down from you sophia spoke up, “i should have went before y/n because my question is gonna sound unserious…chaewon, how do you like blink on the beat in Antifragile because every time i do it i look like i got a bug in my eye?” everyone erupted into laughter and sophia added, “i’m so serious guys i look so dumb doing it!” which only made everyone laugh harder. chaewon stood up and danced the specific part before motioning for sophia do to it with her, then by herself. the idol praised your friend, “yes! you got it!” everyone clapped and sophia ran happily back to her seat with her face a light shade of pink. ezrela raised her hand, “so in your choreographies you all do a lot of like hand holding, and so like…how do you all not miss each others hands?” the idols in front of you all laughed and eunchae explained, we just have to trust each other like you go up i go down. we talk about it like that in advance and you have to hold the hands tight. even if one hand slips off, the others should hold them tight to prevent the accident.” ezrela nodded in understanding and laughed while thanking eunchae for her reply. 

right when you thought everyone was going to be done asking questions, lara raised her hand, “i have a request but you all can say no.” all five idols looked at her intently and your friend asked, “can you dance to fearless with y/n?” all of your teammates immediately cheered and your old friends looked at each other with smiles. they agreed and despite you refusing, yunjin stood up and pulled you over, engulfing you in a hug first. kazuha took off her heels and joined you her members on the floor. your friends were all giggling along, especially when they noticed yunjin had her hand slipped into yours, fingers intertwined. meanwhile the idols looked at you and you asked, “second chorus to the end? the debut formations?” they nodded and chaewon said, “from 겁이 난 없지, 없지” you nodded and found your place and let the music play. from this part of the song you were in the center, a smile on your face nobody had seen on you thus far. during the refrain everyone of your teammates saw the way yunjin looked up at you while she faced them, like you were the only girl in the world. the six of you danced to the end and when the song stopped everyone clapped and the five girls pulled you into a long and tight hug. when you all parted each of them hugged you individually, sakura first. 

the eldest told you with a fond smile, “i’m so proud of you y/n. i can’t wait for your debut.” kazuha spoke up next, “i’m wishing for your debut, unnie.” chaewon squeezed you tightly, “i’m so happy to know you didn’t give up. i’m so proud of you y/n.” eunchae pulled you into a hug, “i missed you so much unnie. i’m happy we got to see each other like this.” yunjin was last, and she mumbled into your shoulder, “come see me tonight?” you murmured back quietly, “mhm.” she grinned as she pulled away while you tried to hide the look of joy from your face. everyone thanked le sserafim and said their goodbyes before you all got a quick break, mostly for cameras to be moved and reset. the second you were alone with manon, your closest friend, she asked all knowing, “so when are you seeing her?” you tried to play it off but she knew you too well already, so you caved, “tonight.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for scaring a facebook scammer?

so theres this scam that goes around on facebook marketplace a lot where a person acts like they are gonna help people get a free government phone. there are government programs where you can apply for a free phone or phone bill but you need really personal info to apply like social security numbers (because stuff like Social Security and other welfare benefits is one of the things that can get you approved). well my last job was phone based and i was basically phone tech support half the time so I have talked to people personally who get scammed by these people and it made me mad.

So i decided to try and waste one of these scammers time on facebook. at first i was just acting like i wasnt tech savvy (giving a fake email address instead of home address when asked) but i got this idea. this person had their legal name attached to this scam post and it wasn’t hacked in any way. so i googled their full name and what city was listed on their profile. voter record websites show peoples addresses in some states and i hoped this scammer wasnt ignorant enough to attach their real fucking name to a scam listing.

Yeah so I found their address. I had no intention to post it anywhere but I thought to myself, what if I sent them their own home address when they ask me for one? so I did. and they stopped responding UNTIL i gave them a negative review on fb saying they are a scammer. suddenly they got super pushy and mean and starting asking me info about their own house. “what cars are outside, my maps arent working” and all that bullshit. so i look up their address on maps and describe the cars outside on google map satellite signal. at this point i know they’re just seeing how much I know about them (and everything was accessible with a google search so no hacking stuff here) and eventually they stop responding when i guessed wrong if they had their sibling living with them.

honestly i prolly didnt need to keep going after the first address and after i gave them a fake review but i fully just wanted to scare them away from scamming people. i’ve talked to older people personally and they legitimately deactivate everything and get a flip phone when they get scammed because of how terrified they are. i dont regret it but i wonder if it was unethical or just not productive to try and waste her time and at least give me the ability to give her a review saying shes a scammer. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[ghostkingdoesstuff]

A friendly reminder I am not to be held accountable for the things I'm about to say. Percy Jackson Season 1 FINALLY (SPOILERS BUT THAT'S THE LEAST OF YOUR PROBLEMS)

The visceral noise I made eating popcorn as Luke said "look you didn't ask to be a half-blood" caused an earthquake in Alaska, I'm sorry I was facing northwest.

"Riposte" I'm sorry, no I'm sorry no-

Also, the background of the sword fighting scene was very pretty.

Poseidon showing up for his son!!! Letts gooooooo! THE WEIGHT OF THE OCEAN UPON YEE!!!

Right in the heel, it's gotta hurt!

Percy asked his uncle to please return his mom, wholesome family gold.

"He'll kill you." "I done to stop running from monsters." "You're gonna need all the luck you can get." The show gets why these two work. Friends before anything else.

Glory as a theme is something that I like that the show highlights more. But Grover is right. at least send an insurance email or something. A quick "on my way, please don't kill anyone"

Dropping the master bolt on some poor dudes desk, legendary.

Olympus is so fucking beutiful omg

I'm gonna cry if Luke and Percy are in the same scene as each other in this episode again. ILL DO IT! THAT'S A THREAT!

The dead silence, I'm shitting omg... yes I know what happens and?

Followed by "I didn't steal it! Neither did any of my friends" IM GONNA CRY! IM GONNA DO IT

The pin strip suit, the sky blue paisley tie, the presence, the voice, THE KING OF THE GODS PEOPLE

Lotta talk for someone so small and scary

POISIDEN GETTING BETWEEN HIS SON AND HIS BROTHER I'M GONNA THROW UP

POSIDEN AND ZEUS SPEAKING GREEK I'M GONNA PISS

THE SEA DOES NOT LIKE TO BE RESTRAINED (🎶BRING ON THE MONSTERS BRING ON THE REAL WORLD!!!🎶)

SALLY JACKSON TEACHING PERCY GREEK I'M GONNA-

"Of course we dream. why do you ask?" "Do you ever dream about mom?" ;-;

Thalia looking strudy as ever.

"Ready?" NO FUCK YOU NO

Another reminder I am not to held liable for anything I might say, you need only see how many times I've listened to "Last day of Summer" from The musical to understand how much I've thought of this moment in fictional time.

Confirmation that Luke was indeed what mattered most in the end? I'm gonna make myself cry shit-

Honestly, this Percy might be too smart for his own good. Bro's never gonna live this heartbreak down.

"You...I'm here to recruit." I- fucking- AHHHH

"OUR WAY OUT" RICK YOU BASTARD I HOPE YOU ROT IN ASPHODEL

"Stop saying "we"!" "It’s the word Zeus fears the most."

AND SHE HEARD EVERYTHING! Wasn't she supposed to be watching Clarrise? He'll, if Percy could figure it out, I'm sure Annabeth would. It's worth it to see that LOOK on Luke's face. I'm sorry. Feel the weight of your actions, man.

Miss my old friend the pit scorpion but I also like my new friend "the first scars we gave eachother"

He knows Luke won't hurt him physically, but the psychic damage hurts more and has lasting status de buffs.

"Just be a kid" that's it

"I'll find you" that's it

Promising to meet again next summer...Percy just you wait.

THE FAKE OUT OF A LIFETIME

"Grandpa" "don't call him that"

They are the ultimate mother son duo

BLUE PANCAKES!

Kinda hate that Sally didn't intentionally do a murder, or at least she has a lot more possible deniability now, but I hope she still makes a sweet sale on that sculpture!

And that's it! Fuck it's over what to do now... RE READING THE LIGHTING THEIF LIFE BLOG COMING SOON! As well I'll probably drop a summary of my thoughts on the whole season at some point soon! Happy Finally, y'all! Can't wait to see the discorse!

[waytooinvested]

Forgotten, Not Forgiven - Chapter 18

This and previous chapters are also on AO3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lena stood as Kara ushered Nia inside, seeming unaware of the vibrating hum of tension her two guests were sharing as they prepared to set the stage for what needed to come next.

‘Come on in Nia! Look who dropped round to surprise me.’

Nia did a clearly fake double take and then waved like Lena might not have spotted her from a few paces across the room.

‘Oh hey Lena, what a cool coincidence!’

Lena smiled indulgently at the over-enthusiastic play of their ‘happening’ to be here at the same time. Despite how many secrets this little group kept, hardly any of them seemed to be able to lie convincingly, and it made her wonder yet again how she had ever been taken in. Maybe she should offer to give them all a Luthor crash course.

Then again… maybe not. They might be on their way to being proper friends, but teaching them how to lie to her more effectively was just asking for trouble.

‘Hello Nia, I hope you don’t mind me crashing your time with Kara like this. I just heard the news about your new contracts and thought I’d bring round some champagne to celebrate – would you like a glass?’

‘Oh that’s such a shame. I would love some, but actually Kara was going to help me practise some dream power stuff, and it will work best if we’re sober. If you don’t mind hanging out for a bit we could have some after though? Maybe with another movie night? I had a lot of fun last time – and of course you’d be welcome to join in the dream journey too if you’d like to.’

To avoid unexpected snags they had rehearsed how this interaction should play out ahead of time, and Lena knew her part as well as Nia. It felt strange to be putting on this level of performance for Kara – uncomfortably like lying, but they had no choice, Project Atlantis was too important to risk to chance.

‘Thank you for the offer, but I prefer not to dwell too much in my dreams, they can go to places I’d rather not to revisit in my waking hours if I can help it. If it’s okay with you both I would like to stick around and see how it’s done though – I’ve been curious about it for a while, from a scientific perspective, and it would be nice to have another hang out session afterwards. Would that be alright with you Kara?’

‘Of course! More Lena time is always alright with me. Won’t you get bored while Nia and I are dreaming though?’

‘Not at all. I have an excellent book on the go, and my tablet if I decide to be really virtuous and answer some work emails. I’ll barely notice the time passing.’

It was as simple as that. Lena was in.

She sat back down on the couch while Kara and Nia settled cross legged onto large throw pillows on the floor. Nia talked a bit about what she knew about how the dream powers worked, and what she was expecting to happen once they got started. Then Nia and Kara held hands and closed their eyes, and after a few seconds they both went still, their breathing syncing up as they entered whatever dream space Nia had led them to.

Honestly, she had kind of been expecting it to look more magical. Maybe glowing lights, the way Dreamer’s powers could be made to manifest when she fought, or some kind of mystical aura, or hum. But from the outside all there was to see was her two friends. It was a little like watching people meditate. Or nap sitting up.

Lena did her best to do as she had said she would and answer some work emails, in between periodic checks to make sure Kara still looked well. But she found that whenever she glanced down to her inbox, her mind filled with the image of Kara in their last Q-wave trial – the slow trickle of blood shockingly vivid against her skin – and she would immediately look back up at her, scrutinising for the slightest sign of anything going wrong. In the end she gave up on even the pretense of doing anything else, and simply watched Kara.

It was not exactly a hardship.

She tried not to let herself stare too openly at her best friend these days, lest it complicate things further than they already were, but now she was free to take her in without worrying about being caught, or making her uncomfortable.

And Kara was, quite simply, lovely.

Somehow she always seemed to be brighter than other people, as if she was permanently limned in the sunlight that gave her her powers, even now she couldn’t access them. Even when she was ducking her head and fidgeting with her cardigan sleeves and acting as if she didn’t want to be seen. Lena saw her.

Kara’s breath hitched.

It was subtle – the slightest stutter-step taking her out of time with Nia, but Lena was instantly on edge. Her instinct was to wake Kara immediately, but she knew it was too soon. The slight change could even be a good thing – a sign that something big was happening, that Kara was remembering. There was no blood, and no indication that this was necessarily a bad-

Kara went rigid, her head thrown suddenly back and a gasp ripping out of her that sounded like it was tearing at her lungs as the colour drained from her face in an instant and left her a scary shade of grey-white. Lena was beside her in two seconds flat, pulling her hands free from Nia’s and taking them in her own. They felt clammy, and her fingers stayed bent into stiff claws even as her limbs began to jerk against whatever she was experiencing in her mind.

‘Kara. Kara, darling, wake up. Come on, come back now, it’s alright. You’re home Kara, you’re safe, just open your eyes love.’

Kara’s eyes snapped open. They met Lena’s but didn’t seem to see her as she continued to gasp and jolt. Behind her Lena was aware of Nia coming round too, heard her quiet ‘oh my god…’, but didn’t spare her so much as a glance as she pulled Kara in against her chest, still whispering reassurances to her as she stroked her hair and rocked her gently back and forth.

‘You’re alright Kara, it’s over, you’re safe now. You’re home Kara, and I’m here, I’m going to look after you, I promise darling. I’ve got you Kara.’

She barely even registered her own words as she went on and on in this vein, but the soothing tone of her voice did seem to be getting through to Kara, as at last the strangled, wrenching gasps eased to mere panicked hyperventilations, and Kara’s hands unclenched from their claw-like curl to instead wrap around Lena’s forearms, as if she needed to hang onto her to keep her from leaving, or else to reassure herself that she was real. Her grip was painfully tight, but Lena wouldn’t have dreamt of trying to loosen it. Kara needed to hold something right now, and Lena would be her something.

‘Kara, I’m… I’m sorry, I never meant-’

Nia stuttered, sounding completely stricken, and now that the absolute worst was past Lena broke off her murmurings just long enough to reassure her.

‘It’s not your fault Nia, you couldn’t have known that this would happen. You should go home now though. Don’t worry, I’ll look after her, I promise. Will you please call Alex and let her know what happened? Tell her I’ll call her when I can to let her know how Kara is, but it might be late. Can you do that for me Nia?’

Nia nodded. She looked in shock and like she wasn’t sure if she wanted to stay and try to help, or run out of there to escape what had just happened. She was clearly upset, but Lena didn’t have time to worry about her right now. Nia had said she would call Alex, and she trusted the elder Danvers sister to give her whatever reassurance she might need.

Right now Lena’s only concern was Kara.

After what seemed like a long time, Kara’s tense muscles relaxed from jerky stiffness into slack trembling, and her silent shock dissolved into sobs. At last she released her fierce grip on Lena’s arms and instead shifted to wrap one arm around her in a loose embrace, her face burrowing down against Lena’s bare shoulder while her tears flowed freely. Now she wasn’t so rigid, Lena pulled her up gently to sit in her lap where she could hold her properly. She took Kara’s free hand and pressed it to her chest, right over her heart.

‘Do you feel that Kara? Focus on my heart. Count the beats, and try to breath when I breath, alright?’

She took a few slow deliberate breaths, allowing Kara to feel the rhythmic rise and fall beneath her palm.

‘I’m here. This is real. And you are safe now.’

Without looking up, Kara nodded against Lena’s now-wet shoulder, and pressed her palm a little more firmly against her skin.

They breathed together until Kara’s sobs subsided, and she had stopped shaking.

‘Thank you.’

‘Of course darling. How are you feeling now?’

‘Better. I didn’t know it was going to be like that though. Poor Nia. What an awful power to have.’

‘I don’t think it’s always as bad as that… do you want to talk about what happened?’

Kara sucked in a deep, shuddering breath, and Lena was sure she was going to say no, but she didn’t. She tucked herself more securely into Lena’s embrace, and started talking, her voice a little hoarse and with an odd hollowness that was not usually there, but steadier than could reasonably be expected after the intensity of her recent terror.

‘I actually really do. If I tell it then it’s just a story, it’s not as real.’

She stopped for a moment, gathering her words, and then plunged on like she was leaping off a cliff into an icy sea of memory, in the hopes of washing up on kinder shores.

‘To begin with it was a flying dream. That part was great – well, you can imagine. Nia said we should follow the source of the flying, and even though that doesn’t make any sense now I say it out loud, I knew what she meant, and I knew where to go. So we followed the source, and it led to this- wall I guess. But not like an ordinary wall – it was a huge black expanse that went on forever and didn’t seem to have a top, it just cut the world in two… I wanted to go back then, but Nia said we were close, and the source would be nearby, and I somehow knew she was right, so we kept following it and found this little hole. It was tiny, but Nia said that was the way to the source, and we should go through. I didn’t want to, but she thought it was important, so I tried.’

Kara broke off with a little shudder, but started up again before Lena had time to ask if she was alright, or if she needed a break.

‘The gap was so small I wasn’t even sure I could fit. I had to wriggle in on my belly, and I was scared I was going to get stuck, but by then I was too wedged in to back up properly even if I wanted to, so I thought if I just kept going I would get to the other side soon, and then I’d be wherever this source Nia kept talking about was, and I would have really helped her with her powers. Only it didn’t open up. I was just in this tiny tunnel that kept going for what seemed like miles, and it felt like it was getting tighter and tighter around me, like it didn’t want me in there and was trying to spit me back out, only I couldn’t get out because it was squeezing me so hard, and I couldn’t hear Nia anymore. I was completely alone.

And then... I wasn’t, and somehow that was so much worse. It was like I was back trapped in the car, only multiplied by about a million, and the Things trying to get to me were something so much more horrible than coyotes or wolves, they were… monsters, or demons, or something. I couldn’t see them, but I knew they were just a breath away from me in the dark, and that they really, really wanted to hurt me. I tried to move forwards to get away from them, but then the pain started. It felt like my skin was being seared off my bones, and my blood was full of nails that tore my heart to shreds with every pump, and I wanted to scream but my lungs were on fire and breathing hurt too much. I couldn’t move backwards or forwards anymore, I was just stuck there feeling all of it, forever. I was so, so alone, and everyone I loved was dead or dying and I couldn’t help them. And... you hated me Lena. I knew, somehow I knew that you hated me.’

Kara started crying again, but it was different this time. Less painful, tearing anguish and more cathartic, like she was washing out the lingering remains of her ordeal to leave a clean wound that could begin to heal.

Lena closed her eyes against the tears that welled there, refusing to let them fall when Kara so badly needed her to be strong. She buried her face into the golden waves of Kara’s hair and pressed a kiss to the top of her head instead, pouring all of the things she could not voice into the gesture before giving a more moderated response.

‘I don’t hate you Kara, I- nothing could be further from the truth. It sounds unimaginably horrific, but I promise you none of that was real. Everyone is safe. Alex is safe, and Nia and James, Winn, Kelly, Brainy, J’onn, Sam, Ruby, Eliza: no one you love is in any danger. You’re not in any danger. It’s all over, and you’re safe, alright?’

Kara sniffled and wiped her eyes.

‘I’m just so tired now. I feel like I’ve been fighting a battle for a year without stopping. I am so tired. But I don’t think I dare go to sleep, in case I go back there.’

‘How about if I stay with you? I’ll look after you, and if you show any signs of bad dreams – even just a murmur or a change in your breathing, I’ll wake you up, so you won’t be back there for more than a second.’

Kara hesitated.

‘I can’t ask you to do that.’

‘You’re not asking. And whatever happens I am not leaving you alone tonight. If you don’t want me to stay I’ll call Alex to come instead, but you need someone here with you.’

‘Well then… I’d rather it was you.’

Lena’s heart swelled at the quiet admission, and she gave Kara a gentle squeeze of acknowledgement.

‘Then I’ll stay... Do you happen to have some sweatpants and a t-shirt I could borrow though? It’s no problem if not, I can just stay in my clothes, but I didn’t exactly dress bed-time comfy tonight.’

To her surprise, Kara actually smiled then. It was just the barest tilt of lips, but it was unmistakably there, like a single ray of sunlight breaking through a mass of storm clouds, standing out all the more vividly for the darkness that had preceded it.

‘Yes. I actually have the perfect pajamas for you.’

The ‘perfect pajamas’, it turned out, consisted of a pair of pink pants patterned all over with paler pink and white blobs; and a soft white t-shirt with a matching pink trim and a printed image of two large anthropomorphised cartoon marshmallows, wearing sleepy smiles and holding stick-drawing hands beneath the words ‘you make me feel squishy’ in sugar-pink bubble writing.

Lena raised an eyebrow, and Kara flashed her an impish (if still slightly watery) grin in return.

‘Because you’re a marshmallow.’

‘Hmm.’

The pajamas were simultaneously so very much not Lena, and yet also kind of appropriate. Because Lena Luthor was absolutely not a marshmallow... Except when it came to Kara, maybe she kind of was.

Still, she couldn’t help feeling self-conscious as she emerged from the bathroom, makeup free and dressed in the sugary sweet outfit. She knew she looked silly, and childish in a way she rarely had even as an actual child (Lilian Luthor did not go in for cute when it came to choosing clothes for her offspring, and the only time Lena could ever remember wearing something with a cartoon print on it was the time in elementary school when Angela Howard had spilled chocolate milk over her at lunch and she had had to borrow a Tweety Pie t-shirt from the lost and found until the au pair had arrived with a fresh shirt), and as much as that shouldn’t matter right now, she instinctively crossed her arms over the picture on her chest as she stepped into the bedroom.

She was considering searching out a sweatshirt to at least cover up the top half, when Kara looked up from her comforter cocoon, took in Lena’s appearance, and let out a breath that seemed to carry half the weight of her nightmare away with it. Her tense shoulders lowered, the pinch between her brows smoothed, and she smiled with her eyes, the haunted look that had been lingering in them since the moment she resurfaced receding until it was almost eclipsed by something that Lena didn’t quite dare to name, but that made her cheeks warm until she was pretty sure they matched her pants.

‘You’re adorable.’

She cleared her throat and put her hands on her hips in unconscious imitation of Supergirl, realising a moment too late that she was no longer hiding the marshmallow print, and also that it didn’t matter.

‘I’ll have you know many people find me very intimidating.’

Kara ‘hmmm-ed’, her nose crinkling with feigned scepticism, and Lena let her arms drop to her sides, the last of her discomfort fading into insignificance under the influence of that sweet little scrunch.

Maybe she didn’t mind being adorable for Kara, after all.

She got into bed, having to edge up close to get any share at all of the blankets Kara had bundled herself up in, though she couldn’t say she minded that either. In other circumstances it might have felt dangerous to be here like this, in bed beside the woman she had been crushing on (and lusting over) practically since they’d met, who she absolutely could not cross that boundary with, but it didn’t. This wasn’t about that. It was about being here for her best friend after something awful had happened, and creating a safe space for her to sleep without fear. To that end they left the bedside lamp on in the hope that being able to see her surroundings would help keep Kara grounded; Lena made sure that water, tissues, and emergency post-panic chocolate supplies were all in easy reach (just in case); and then, after the slightest hesitation, she held out her arms in silent invitation.

She half expected Kara to shy away from the offer, despite the fact that she had spent most of the evening in Lena’s lap with her face burrowed into to the bare skin of her shoulder, but instead she snuggled into the embrace without so much as a flicker of her usual reserve. Apparently her ordeal had left her too wrung out to worry about whatever it was that normally made her hold back, and they slotted together as naturally and comfortably as if they did this every night.

After a few moments of quiet cuddling, Kara whispered into Lena’s neck:

‘Will you tell me something?’

‘Of course darling, what do you want to know?’

‘Just... anything. Tell me about what you’re doing at work at the moment. Something science-y that won’t leave room in my brain for anything else. I just want to hear your voice while I fall asleep.’

‘Alright. Well, I’ve been tinkering a bit with using ternary tetradymite films to optimise electron mobility in some of our spintronic devices this week – I could tell you about that if you like?’

‘Please.’

So Lena talked all about electron mobility and spintronics, going into more detail than she probably should have to explain her as yet unpublished process to create a flawless crystalline structure in the ternary tetradymite films, and then when Kara didn’t ask her to stop, moved on to describe the wearable thermoelectric devices she had started work on using the same technology, which would, with a little more work, efficiently convert waste body heat into electricity to power the wearer’s devices.

She made sure to keep her voice low and soothing as she stroked Kara’s back and let the words carry her away, until at last her breathing became slow and even, and the subtle change in her weight against Lena’s side let her know that she had fallen asleep.

Lena stayed like that for another few minutes, just holding Kara and stroking her back, until she was sure that she was both deeply asleep and not currently in the midst of any upsetting dreams. Then she eased herself up to a sitting position and reached for her phone.

It was almost 2am by this point, but she didn’t think Alex would mind.

Lena: Are you awake?

Alex: Of course I am. Call me.

Lena: I can’t, I’m still at Kara’s

Lena: she’s asleep but I promised I wouldn’t leave her alone in case she has nightmares. So I’m texting you.

Lena: I need to tell you what happened but I can’t Lulu code it so you need to delete these texts once you’ve read them

Alex: ok. Is Kara alright???

Lena: Physically she’s fine. Emotionally though...

Lena: It was BAD Alex.

Lena: I don’t think I’ve ever seen her like that. I have bruises from where she was clinging onto me just to try and ground herself in reality, and even then it was at least half an hour after she came out before she started to look like she really believed this world was the real one

Alex: Fuck

Alex: How is she now?

Lena: She seems calm now. By the time we came to bed she was acting more like herself, just exhausted. She might have some trauma to work through before she’s really ok though

Alex: Thank you for being there for her tonight

Alex: And thank god you suggested one of us should join the dream sessions. I’m not sure if Nia could have coped with that by herself

Lena: Did you speak to her? is she alright? I was so focused on Kara I just sent her home and told her to call you

Alex: Yeah, she called. She feels awful for what happened. I told her it wasn’t her fault and we talked for a bit, but the poor girl is still seriously shaken.

Lena: I’m not surprised, it was pretty intense. I’ll have to check in on her in the morning.

Alex: Speaking of which, are YOU ok?

Lena: I’m fine, mostly just worried about Kara

Alex: Are you sure? You said you have bruises???

Alex: Do you think it was a returning powers doesn’t-know-her-own-strength situation? Because that would at least mean something good came out of it.

Lena: I think it was a regular human strength abject terror disconnect from her surroundings situation.

Lena: Which is lucky because if she had had superstrength at that moment I would currently be in hospital getting titanium rods fitted to replace the bones I would no longer have in my forearms.

Alex: ouch

Alex: so the dream work was a total failure then

Lena: Maybe not entirely. Did Nia tell you what happened while they were in there?

Alex: as much as she could. She said once Kara went into the wall it was like she lost control – she couldn’t sense her anymore, and Kara didn’t seem to be able to hear her when she called. She tried to follow but the dream wouldn’t let her.

Lena: Kara told me what happened after that. And I understand now what the barrier Lex built is made of.

Alex: Wait you do?! Tell me!!!

Lena: it isn’t something artificial we can just remove to let the two sides come back together. If we break the barrier, we’re breaking part of Kara’s mind.

Lena: that’s why the Q-waves gave her a nose bleed, I think

Lena: and it’s why Kara’s own mind is fighting so hard to keep away from it

Alex: WHAT IS IT???

Lena: It’s her fear.

Lena: Lex has taken all Kara’s Kryptonian memories, and walled them off behind every terror that Kara Zor El or Supergirl ever faced. So to get the rest of her memories back she would have to overcome all of them at once

Lena: The phantom zone. The loss of her planet. Every moment of pain from every time she was poisoned with kryptonite. Every time someone she loved died or was in danger, EVERYTHING. All at once.

Alex: That sick bastard.

Alex: Lena, Kara has faced so much fear.

Lena: I know

Alex: If she knew why she needed to she might be able to do it. But how can we ever expect her to go back in there if we can’t tell her why she has to?

Lena: We can’t

Lena: not without finding some way to protect her from it first

Lena: that much agony all in one go could break her mind permanently

Beside her in the bed Kara stirred, a tiny frown creasing her forehead.

Lena: I have to go, but we will work on this more at the next PA meeting.

Lena: Don’t forget to delete

Lena cleared the text chain quickly from her own phone, and then turned to pull Kara back into her arms, stroking her hair and murmuring ‘shhh darling, it’s alright, you’re safe’, until Kara relaxed back into more restful sleep.

She was tired and feeling a little shaky herself after what had happened, whatever she had just told Alex, but Lena didn’t let herself close her eyes. She stayed awake beside Kara as the hours ticked slowly by, watching for any sign of distress and soothing her back out of it whenever she seemed to be edging into nightmares, until at last the pale light of dawn began to filter in through Kara’s thin bedroom curtains, and they had officially made it through the night.

[whoiwanttoday]

When I was younger I used to have to actually call in to work but the advent of voicemail in the office made my life a lot easier. I would wait until about 4 or 5 AM, call when I knew there would be no one to answer, put on my weakest voice and try to sound sick to make sure that no one could question that I was too unwell to come in to work. About 90% of the time I called in it was because of my depression, which early on was undiagnosed, then diagnosed and poorly managed, but I would fluctuate between being unable to sleep for days or being unable to do anything other than sleep. Either way, it gave me great anxiety that I would be caught because in those days you couldn't actually call in for depression, it wasn't a real illness, not like a cold, so I had to be vague while sounding like maybe I had a cold. Once we could start emailing in, a thing that existed but no one thought to do until we were able to easily access work email from home, it became that much easier. I still had the fear that they would think maybe I was out partying all night and just getting home and faking it but I didn't have very many other options so the emails still came in at 5 AM. It was one of life's many stupid ironies that I was in bed wanting to die and convinced no one thought of me but if they did they thought I was a pathetic loser but also they might think I was a lying party animal loser who was out living things up and skipping work because my life was too awesome.

Anyway, that's a long way of mentioning I am playing hooky today but my life is so much more privileged than it once was because I have been struggling with a pretty rough depressive episode for two weeks now and at the start of this week decided I couldn't do it anymore but if i gave myself a shred of hope maybe I could. So I am technically on vacation today, a thing younger me didn't get, actual leave for vacation, or really the ability to ask for, time off a few days in advance. My head being a mess still fucking sucks, it's not cheery to start singing in the shower and realize you've changed all the lyrics to be about wanting to die, though it is technically sort of funny, like the least marketable Weird Al anyone can imagine, but it's amazing how much easier it is if you have things like money and actual benefits. All of this is a long way of saying I have 10:30 AM tickets to see Longlegs, a thing I was supposed to see last week on Thursday but when the time came I canceled my tickets and took a credit because I was curled up in bed and could not make myself get out of it no matter how hard I tried. So I am posting Maika Monroe because she has long been dear to my horror addled heart due to the fact that she starred in what is one of my all time favorite horror movies, It Follows. She was also in the Guest which is frankly, pretty top notch as well but not on the all time greats list. I realize I am putting the cart before the horse a little bit here, given I haven't seen Longlegs yet but I both have faith and also the horse can absolutely go fuck himself. I am sick of worrying about the horse, who has, I might point out, done fuck and all for me. I haven't even used glue since like 3rd grade so the horse can just fucking rot for all I care. Anyway, when I first posted Maika Monroe she was still mainly coming up in tags on tumblr as a Surfer, which is kind of wild because I don't think that's how anyone thinks of her now. Either way, I enjoy her work, I think today will be good, today I want to fuck Maika Monroe.

[roboneco]

Who sent the email to Sam?

It was "from Jon" as Sam said, or at the very least it seemed like that. It is only a name. Could be "him". Could be fake. But why the name Jon, specifically?

First, all we know about the email is that it was sent with a name, an address, and from an internal email. The name and address being of Gerry specifically, and not of Gertrude because she's not who Sam asked for. That's it.

Here's where I got confused. Why exactly did Sam ask Gerry about the magnus institute?? From this alone, this shouldn't occur to him. Maybe he researched the name and ,as he claimed then, found a list of the kids who were there.

But...well... while Sam is competent & of course he was always obsessed with the institute after what happened to him....if he had a way to find the list himself, do you think he would have waited until someone sent him an email to go look for answers??

Of course not! He'd have already checked every single name on the list! Or at least looked for better leads than just begging people to trauma dump on him. I think someone else gave him the list. Or really the idea to ask about the list.

(I for some reason can't upload pictures so I'll settle for copy pasting the parts I want).

SAM: Right. Of course. I was wondering if you knew anything about the Magnus Institute?

SAM: I was on one of their gifted kids programs and – um – I got hold of a list of a few of the other kids, and thought it might be nice if we could get in contact, swap stories and that…

GERTRUDE: I see. Well, I’m sorry, but I don’t think Gerry can help you –

GERRY: (casually) Yeah, I barely remember any of it.

SAM: Oh, so you were a candidate?

To me it sounds like Sam was winging it. He hesitated before mentioning the list as if he wasn't sure it existed. he then seems almost surprised when Gerry confirms he was in the institute.

My guess is he never saw the list! My guess is whoever sent Sam the email had heard about his connection to the institute, and sent him a lead vague enough not to cause suspicion to who may have sent it & THEN personally planted in his head the idea that the lead & institute were connected.

Now, who do we know that: knows of the name Jon, interested in the magnus institute, and Sam trusts enough to listen to their advice about something he already wanted to do?

Bingo. It is Celia. Celia is the one who sent the Jon email & I have more proof.

1- this exchange right after leaving Gerry's house:

SAM: …Thanks for coming with me, Celia. I know we’ve only been working together a few weeks.

CELIA: Hey, it was my idea, remember?

hm? Your idea you say. good to know, bestie!

2- it makes sense for her to use any name really. I don't think it matters. But we should remember that when she listened to her first case (by Chester) right after that Sam got his email. Literally in the same episode.

3- she was in a podcast with Georgie in this world (as far as Sam & google know at least) so it makes sense for her to be able to search & find the list!!

4- this is weak but well.... She works in the OIAR... She has an internal email and could make another one (or hack her way through or something).

I am sure there are other things that I just can't remember right now but anyway that leaves some questions

Why did she take the painting?

Why Gerry? I understand how she could find the list but why choose him? I doubt either Melanie or Georgie mentioned him before. Was it random? Plot reasons? Or maybe her target wasn't Gerry, but Gertrude.

She could know about Gertrude. She was the last archivist after all. But she wants a reason to go without someone suspecting her personally. So after some research (stalking) figures out she has a roommate. And hey would you look at that. The guy's name is in the list of kids experimented on by the magnus institute. And oh? Who is also on the list? Her new coworker. Now isn't that a funny coincidence! It would be a shame if someone were to.... Maybe.... Use this opportunity for totally, definitely ethical reasons.....such as sending Sam a little email & connecting him with an old friend!

I think of this because Celia is the one who asked Gerry if he lives alone. She directed the conversation to ask about Gigi.

Anyways I had maaaannny more thoughts about this. Alas, I am tired & going to bed.

Have I mentioned that Celia lives I'm my head rent free. Sorry, wanted to say it, in case it wasn't obvious.