#I fucking love the bloodhound gang

[5allywilliams]

I LOVE HOW DIFFERENT THEY ARE, JARED IS JUST “hehe..I’m so sigma🔥🔥🔥” while josh is just zoning out

Zones out

COLLAB WITH @5allywilliams ‼️‼️

THIS IS SO GOOFY IM GIGGLING

[nonexistenceshit]

🇷🇺????

[felixrulezz]

I JUST GOT BALLS OUT AND YUMMY DOWN ON THIS ON SOUNDMAP IM GONNA BUST A NUT

[myvenusdoomed]

“Oh yeah I’m totally laidback and normal” *I say as my eyes twitch viciously while visibly shaking because ‘the bad touch’ by bloodhound gang is playing and I want to scream along so bad but I can’t let shawty know I am in fact not normal or laidback*

[hurlingdown]

                     THE BAAAAD TOUCH!

synopsis. there’s a very thin line between the way animals fuck on the discovery channel and the way you fuck them. featuring shameless, rough sex with the arcane men, and a third secret option at the end. jayce, vander, silco, viktor.

tags. top! reader, sub! jayce, vander, silco, viktor. reader has a cock. rough anal sex, creampie(s), exhibitionism, infidelity, cumslut! jayce, doggy, riding, size difference, huge cock, belly bulge, size queen! viktor, sweat kink, strength kink, breeding kink, implied marathon sex, dirty talk, degradation, praise kink, excessive amounts of manhandling, age difference, established relationships. cock-hungrified men. (lmao)

a/n. inspired by this song from bloodhound gang.

“does she know?” you pant into his ear, grip strong and sweaty on his hips, and jayce feels dirty, the way he’s being mounted like a bitch. “does she know about the way i fuck you? the sounds you make when i fill your pretty hole up?”  

he shudders, shaking his head, nails raking down your biceps as he tries to lift his head, to be less vulnerable in the way you’re taking him, but to no avail. he feels the hot burn of your palm at the back of his neck, and he finds himself back with his cheek pressed against the sheets, back arching with the violence of forcing his body to accommodate both pleasure and pain plowing away at his dignity. 

 “fuck!” he gasps, “let’s not, nnngh! talk about this. not, not right now.” it’s not the first time you’ve brought mel up in a conversation, but hardly ever more than an offhand comment, something to tease, something for fun. this… this was unknown territory. 

“why? you don’t like it?” there’s a strange displacement in your voice, a touch whiny, as though you were pouting at his denial. jayce thinks he’s going insane, because as manipulative as you were, there was no way he could say no to you. not with that look on your face. the one he can’t see but knows it’s there. 

“doesn’t matter,” jayce whispers. “it’s not ri- right.” 

you want to laugh. it’s not right? so it’s all right and just if he sneaks into your bed almost every other night for you to get him off simply because said girlfriend never could—nights of sweat and sinful lovemaking that end with him sneaking out of your room with a limp—but it’s not okay if you want to talk about it? how was that fair? 

“you don’t like her anyway, do you?” you mutter. “you should just get rid of her and be with me.” you tighten your hold on him. you want it to bruise. you want him to go home with your marks on his body. you want mel to ask about them and jayce squirming as he tries to think of a stupid excuse to fool her again. faulty gym equipment. sparring session gone wrong. you know all of his excuses. it’s funny, the way he tries to patch things up. “this is cruel… to the both of us. don’t you wanna get this over with?” 

“it’s- unh, complicated!” jayce moans, but there’s nothing complicated about it, he just doesn’t want to talk. doesn’t want to feel the shame and guilt making his guts tangle and heart pound—the way you fit into him so perfectly, so innately, like you’ve always belonged inside him, a missing piece to his puzzle. 

he bites back a whine as the thick head of your cock pushes against his swollen prostate, and he’s not sure if he can even feel his legs at this point. it’s humiliating, the way you’re cooing nasty words into his ear, handprints branding his hips as you tug him up only to slam downwards against him, pushing him further down into the mattress with every heavy thrust. 

“why? what’s keeping you then? hah. don’t tell me. does she fuck you like this too?” you snarl, sucking hot purple bruises down the column of his neck, salt and iron underneath your tongue making you hungry, and he keens. “so desperate for cock you’d let your girlfriend fuck you, jayce? well? does she fuck you as good as i do?” 

“noo,” jayce slurs, shaking his head, “nothing’s as good. you’re the best. love it. love you.” 

“really?” you bark out a laugh, and he nods dumbly, like his body’s conditioned to respond to your every whim, wanting to please, to serve. “well, i don’t see it at all. only thing you could ever be in love with is my cock.” 

“ah- ah, yeah, that too,” he whines, “love you more.” 

“liar,” you growl, and he sobs out at the way your length drags across his walls, thick and girthy, missing his prostate on purpose. it’s a punishment, jayce knows. he’s sorry. he feels so guilty. “pretty slutty liar. you’ll do anything to get stuffed, won’t you? even if it means cheating on your little girlfriend. you’ll even enjoy it, the moment you break her heart.” 

jayce shakes his head, tears blurring his vision. he can’t even say anything at this point, with the way you’re forcing him to take, fucking the words out of him. he can’t help being addicted to this. it’s too good. mel would understand, wouldn’t she? she would, if only she could have a taste of it. it’s not his fault. not really. 

“you probably think she’ll never know. you probably think she’ll never find out.” you’re talking again, but the sounds buzz by, barely intelligible. jayce swallows, letting your accusation wash over him. he has been careful, hasn’t he. surely she won’t know. surely she can’t know. “the way you start crying when you’re about to cum. you think she’ll never know about that, right?” 

he doesn’t know what you mean, but it’s so hard to think. there’s wetness on his cheeks and the low flame in his belly has blazed into a forest fire. he wants to cum. he needs it. he needs it hard and rough, bruises on his waist and hips and love bites on his collarbones, hard, heavy thrusts that make him feel dizzy and high and stupid, drowning him in the throes of pleasure that only you can give to him. 

“please,” jayce begs, tears streaming down his face. “i want, ngh… ah, want your cum in me.” 

and before he knows it, there’s the rush of hot cum flooding his hole, the sweaty press of your chest against his back, your hips trembling and bucking against his, and it’s so good it makes him see stars. but you don’t stop. it’s messy and filthy, and pure bliss when he feels you snake a hand into his hair and wrench his head up, rough and careless just the way he likes it. 

his eyes roll back before his cock starts helplessly spurting at the sight of mel standing in the doorway, watching him being bred like a whore.

VANDER

. . . vander thinks he maybe maybe made a mistake, telling you to be rough with him. because this is exactly the kind of rough he likes. 

“oh, fuck, sweetness,” he moans, arousal bleeding into his guttural voice as he arches his back and cants his hips backwards to receive your thrusts, taking you deeper inside, his ass bouncing every time you meet his hips with a wet, nasty ‘pap’. “t-thaat’s it, kid. right there, fuck, harder…” 

he’s clutching his pillow tightly, waves of pleasure shackling him to the bed as you’re pounding away at his hole from behind. you’ve snaked a hand into his hair to wrench his head up roughly, and a low whine pushes its way past his lips, punctuated by a sharp, deadly thrust aimed at his prostate. he’s pretty sure his own cock’s rubbed raw against the sheets, spurting so much pre there’s a sticky, slippery pool underneath him—easing the steamy push and glide. 

there are stars bursting at the corners of his eyes, threatening to consume his vision, and he can vaguely feel his toes curl and thighs spasm at every brush of your cock against his bundle of nerves. there’s sweat dripping down his face, a salty tang on his tongue, and he wipes his forehead with the back of his hand, hearing nothing but his own heavy pants and groans, attuned to the rhythm of your thrusts. it’s too good. almost makes him feel young again. he’s halfway through his forties, and yet you’re fucking him like he’s twenty. 

vander can feel your hands all over him, pressing heavy bruises onto the tender fat of his waist and hips, bodily dragging him back onto your cock every time you ram forward, making sure to put your entire weight behind it. the mattress is letting out horrible creaking sounds, the headboard of the bed slamming into the wall in perfect tempo, and the both of you are going to regret this later, but fuck, he doesn’t care. 

it’s addicting. it’s violent. vander shouldn’t be enjoying this, but he is. 

“fuck, love, y’er gonna make me cum already,” he chokes out, and it’s more of a drunken slur, really — there’s something about the way you’re treating him that makes him dizzy and weak at the knees. his fists are clenched, grasping at the bedsheets every time he feels like snaking a hand between his legs and jerking off to your thrusts. he wants to enjoy it, savour it—the way you’re taking him, pressing him into the mattress like you’re trying to break the bed before you break him, gaze hungry enough to swallow him up in your lust. 

“go ahead and cum, vander,” you drawl, grabbing a handful of his ass before sharply spanking him across, the sting rewarding you with a full-body shiver. “i want you to cum like it’s your last night on earth.” 

who the absolute fuck does this kid think he is, vander thinks, and he quickly buries his face back into the pillow because he knows he’s going to get loud. you’re insane. insanely bad at dirty talk, but your hunger makes up for it. he’s never liked dirty talking that much, but fuck, if you weren’t something different. cum like it’s his last night on earth? he really underestimated how greedy you were. 

“cocky,” he wheezes instead, once he’s caught his breath, “y’er gonna, haah, hafta fuck me harder for that to happen.” it’s yet another bad decision, and he’s digging his own grave, he knows it. as if you aren’t already fucking him within an inch of his life—the bulbous shape of your cockhead digging into his prostate with such immaculate precision, pressing the shape of your handprints into his skin as you fuck him with your eyes, your hands and your cock. 

hungry. intense. unforgettable. vander doesn’t think he’ll ever get enough of it. 

before he can even breathe, you’ve hooked one arm under his thigh, tossing him over onto his back like you’re flipping a fucking pancake, and vander’s not a delicate man by all means. without wasting a second, you’re pushing inside him again, groaning shamelessly as his wet, warm cave engulfs you perfectly. vander makes a desperate noise, eyes squeezing shut—there’s no pillow to muffle his cries or hide his expressions from you this time, but he’s far too close to be embarrassed. 

the new position’s got you so deep inside him, and it’s getting harder to breathe, almost as though he could feel you all the way to his throat. it’s uncomfortable and very inconsiderate of his aching back, but the mind-numbing pleasure hammering away at his sweet spot makes up for it. 

“s-so fuckin’ good, kid,” he pants out, arching his back with a moan as you reach down to grope at his tits, the muscles plump and soft with tender age, hole clenching around you tightly every time you tug at his perky nipples. his cock’s all leaky, drooling over his stomach and making a mess, and he’s so aroused it’s almost endearing. “fuck me… god, fuck me.” 

he’s going to cum hands-free, vander thinks, and shit, you’re going to be so smug about this after you’re done with having your way with him. vander sneaks a glance at you—eyelids fluttering, making little grunts of pleasure every time you bully your way into his tight wet warmth. it embarrassingly makes the back of his neck burn, makes him feel all hot and sexy and wanted. 

“yeah? best cock you’ve ever taken, vander?” you purr, and his breath stutters, seizing up with a yell and then he’s fucking cumming with you balls-deep inside him. guess you’ll take that as a yes.

SILCO

silco doesn’t know how long he’s been bent over in that same fucking position, but he doesn’t plan on making you stop anytime soon. 

“darling, not so rough. . .” he gasps out, nails raking down the expensive wood of his office desk while you plow away at him from behind, his hole sopping wet but tight, as though you haven’t cum two times in him already. he can feel his knees knocking into the hard front of the desk with every brutal thrust, the weeping tip of his erection grazing the cool mahogany, the pleasure inside him making his lower belly burn with a flame he hasn’t felt in a long time. 

“why?” you grin, draping yourself over his half-clothed stature, his pants yanked down to his ankles as he’s bent over to take. you shuffle forward, making sure his ass is pressed snugly against your crotch before giving an experimental roll of your hips, always reaching deeper, for more. “worried that they’ll hear?” 

silco presses his lips together in a thin line, tilting his face away from yours, and if you didn’t know any better, you would have thought he were sulking. you laughed. it was just too easy to piss him off sometimes. 

“i’m just playing around, baby. your office is soundproofed, no?” you straightened yourself, running a hand over the smooth, sensitive expanse of his back before returning to your firm grip on his bruised hips. he gave a shuddering sigh, trying to relax as you started to rock into him again with strong, steady thrusts. 

“it doesn’t matter,” he rasps, “we’re, hah, being too loud… sweetheart. s-sevika is right outside.” 

“don’t care,” you mutter. “i’m pent up. ‘least you can do is let me fuck you stupid. you’ll let me, right?” 

silco makes a noise at the back of his throat, half from displeasure, the other half from the sharp curl of arousal in his lower abdomen, making his cock twitch and leak. fuck if it didn’t turn him on when you talked to him like this. he settles for burying his face into his arms, preparing himself for whatever you were going to put him through. 

“be gentle,” he whispers, letting out a shuddering sigh. “i’m not so young anymore.” 

you could feel a grin pulling at the corners of your lips. yeah. sure, you were going to be gentle with him. with him looking like that. 

“hngh, r-right there…” silco mewls out, knees buckling repeatedly as he tries not to think about how loud he’s being. he supposes he could gag himself with something, your fingers, maybe, get them warm and wet for you while you use his face as leverage to fuck him harder, but he knows how much his noises spur you on, and right now he really doesn’t want to piss you off. not when you’re indulging him so well. “that’s it… you’re so good… darling.” 

“not so shy anymore?” you hummed, licking a hot stripe up his neck, his gasp twisting into a whine. “think we can make you louder?” 

“sweetheart,” he sighs as he feels your hand wrap around his throat, and he tilts his head back to let you grip it properly. “you already know what i want.” 

“well, i don’t think so.” you smile, leaning down to press your cheek against his, working away from behind with short, firm thrusts that steal his breath away. “remind me. did we use the magic word yet?” 

but just as he’s about to answer with snark, there’s the rap of fists against his office door, and silco feels his heart plummet. not now, when things were about to get good—this was the worst timing possible. “everything alright, boss?” 

“yes,” silco pants, “fuck… yes.” 

you can feel his nails dig into the back of your thigh, warning you not to pull out. you’re thick and heavy, resting against his stomach, and silco feels so fucking good and full. you can’t stop now. not until he’s had his fill. he can vaguely feel your warm seed trailing its way down his perineum in a slow trickle, and fuck, he wants more. wants to feel stuffed even without you inside him, drowsy and content. 

he blinks, brows furrowing as he catches himself fantasizing about you yet again. should he even be having thoughts like these in his forties? was this healthy? sex with you was life-changingly—and now apparently hormone-alteringly good. 

“sir?” sevika’s growl interrupts his train of thought. and yeah, not to mention—his second-in-command is right outside his office, while all he can think about is cock. shit. your big, leaky cock, buried to the hilt inside his hole. he wonders if it’ll be gaping once you’re done with him. and oh. cum. loads of your cum, filling up every inch of space inside him. making it hard to breathe. making him swel— “is someone in there with you?” 

“yes,” silco wheezes dumbly as you roll your hips against him with meaning, forcing him to take you deeper. he trembles, shifting back slightly to fuck himself on your cock, forcing a sharp inhale from you. “we are busy. you’re, oh… dismissed, sevika.” 

the silence is loud, save for the almost-silent squelches of your cock maneuvering inside him with all the cum stored in his belly. 

you can feel his heart pounding from the way your chest is pressed against his bare back. or maybe it’s your own. his walls squeeze around you, sinfully tight, pulling a muffled moan from where you have your teeth sunken into his shoulder. fuck. he’s—silco’s actually into this. you’d have never guessed he would be such a freak, for lack of a better word, but with how things were going . . . you didn’t mind it. not one bit. it drove you crazy with want, if anything. 

“... if you say so, boss.” the sound of retreating footsteps fills you with both relief and disappointment, but before you could even process what that means, you can feel silco gazing at you through his lashes, low and scrutinizing and something needy. 

“did i say you could stop?” silco grunts. “fuck me.” 

you let out a shaky sigh, hips already bucking back into the warm mould of your cock—and the next sound that drives past his lips is a loud and unabashed sob of your name. 

you think you might have unlocked something new in your lover.

VIKTOR

“it won’t fit,” viktor slurs, moans tumbling out of his mouth as he gives a shaky roll of his hips. he’s not quite there yet, with only the tip sucked in, but he’s making good progress. “i’m terribly s-sorry, dear. your… appendage. it’s too big.” 

his eyes flutter shut at the feeling of your hands forming a ring around his waist, strong and firm, a warm assurance that there was a possibility… although slight, that he’d make it. 

“it’ll fit,” you murmur, kissing the sensitive spot at the back of his ear, the one that makes him suck in a sharp breath and shudder. “you’re doing very good, love. just… a little more, yeah?” 

viktor looks down. it’s nowhere near a little more. you’re barely halfway in and he’s already thinking about quitting—has been, since the stupidly huge head of your cock breached his rim, making him feel a stretch that no amount of fingers or plastic toys could replicate. it was something extraordinary. overwhelmingly so. 

“please,” he mewls, forehead dropping to rest on your shoulder. “t-touch me? i think i’ll probably, hah, ease up a little if you would… oh, yes. thank you, dear. thank you.” 

it’s… in simple words, too much. you’re usually very considerate, taking your time with him with your fingers, rubbing on his tender walls until he loosens enough for you to slip another one in. the night would then end with you fucking his thighs, sticky and slick with his own cum. it’s good. it’s enough. that was until he started having thoughts of what it would feel like if you were inside him. 

but viktor would’ve never imagined it would be like this. the difference in size was just… comical. you were so deep inside him already, the impossible girth forming an obscene bulge over his abdomen, making him whine with the fullness. if this is already what it feels like to have you inside, then just what would it feel like to have you spill inside him?

he can’t lie—he’s spent nights waiting for you to fall asleep first so that he could scoop up some of the cum you had missed on the sheets, quietly fingering himself with the cold slickness. it didn’t feel right, even if it was yours. it just wasn’t the same. he wanted, no, needed to feel it for himself. 

it doesn’t help, the way you’re stroking him, ever so gentle with him. your huge palm covers his entire length without having to move much, huge thumb rubbing at his leaking tip, and viktor’s never been so hard before in his whole life. he’s so close already, hole fluttering around you uncontrollably, and it’s almost cute how it looks like it’s going to swallow you up. maybe it is. 

maybe it’ll fit. 

“last few inches,” you pant, fingers trembling slightly where you’re struggling not to press bruises into the cup of his hips. “can i-? please, vik. it’s so good. you’re so good. i just need a little more. please, baby.” 

“yes,” viktor blurts out, before he realises just what he agreed to—but within the next second he can feel something abnormally large pushing its way past his tight walls, faster and rougher than before, even as he tries to clench and hold still—it’s mean and a little too much, but then the back of his thighs meets hot skin and he nearly blacks out with the stretch of it all. 

“ngh,” viktor keens, trembling with exhaustion as he tries to settle into your lap comfortably with such a large intrusion within him. “soo full…” 

you sigh in pleasure, hands going back to his hips where they belong, pushing him down until you’re satisfied that he’s properly taken everything you’ve given him. it’s not a demand, viktor thinks, more like a comfort. telling him that you’ve always known he would’ve been able to take you in the first place. that this is where he belongs, filled to the brim with you and you only. 

he lets out a shuddering moan when you start to slowly bounce him on your lap, lifting him up with ease a good inch or two, before rolling your hips to meet his, pushing yourself deeper. “shit, vik…” you groan, and he cries out with every brush against his prostate, the sheer size of you making it impossible to miss it. “you’re so tight, baby… so perfect. i’m right here with you, okay? easy now, you’re doing so good.” 

you’re so good to him as always, whispering sweet nothings into his ear, but it’s different this time, and fuuck. viktor thinks he’s dying with how good it feels. he tries to steer his hips, to actually ride you instead of having you manhandling him up and down your cock, but there’s hardly any friction left now that he’s properly stretched, and any attempt results in him collapsing back to his knees, the pleasure making him weak. 

he settles for hanging onto you, arms wrapping around your neck and choking out little whimpers as you rock upwards into his waiting hole again and again, toes curling and nails scratching red trails down your back with the all-consuming pleasure.

it’s driving him crazy, the fullness, the simple thought of you pumping your seed and sperm into him, of making love with you. it’s nothing like the way it was written in the textbooks he had spent nights researching—it’s beyond anything he would have ever imagined. 

“please,” viktor sobs out, feeling strangely empty every time you pull out halfway, as ironic as it was—as though there was a chance you would leave him fully. the thought of it hurt. if only you could fit inside him forever. if only. “stay…” he cries, “cum inside. m-make me yours.” 

you lean forward, pressing your lips against his in a hurried kiss, at the same time grinding so deep viktor thinks, for a split of a second, that that might be you he’s feeling in his stomach. the broken wail he gives is loud and muffled, and you lap up the drool on the side of his face, watching as your lover’s eyes flutter shut at the feeling of being filled, properly this time, to the brink of spilling.

masterlist!

[winged-self-indulgence]

In light of the new Leander image (which is honestly going right on my Yandere Leander cork-board) I have to tackle the one part of the demo that's been tripping me up, which is when Leander "forgets" to tell the MC that there are monsters running around at night.

First of all, no he didn't. I know the demo really hypes up his whole charming himbo party boy persona but Leander is much deeper than that. Sure, he loves to drink and have a good time, but this man can scheme like a mf. He is a liar and a manipulator and I need him to do terrible things to my MC

Anyway, I suspect he didn't tell us on purpose. Having just basically offered to be our sugar daddy give us free food and accommodation, it's super clear Leander wants the MC to stay with him for some reason. So how can he ensure that we run right back to him? That we see the Wet Wick (and by extension, him) as a safe harbour? Well by showing us how dangerous Eridia can be when we're alone.

"Okay but that sounds stupid and dangerous! We could have died!"

Could we? When it's heavily implied Leander had already taken out a hit on the Soulless in the city and probably knew Mhin would be out hunting? Although we don't know much about the Bloodhounds, we know they're a large and well-known gang, and that means intelligence. Spies. Having an in with the community and the gossip that comes with that. Granted I'm making assumptions here, but it's plausible.

"Sure but in that case, why let Mhin save us? Why not swoop in and rescue us himself?"

Why bother when he can let Mhin's abrasive attitude sour our gratitude? I don't believe Leander is the the ditzy playboy he portrays himself as. He knows Mhin, knows they aren't all that friendly. And if by some fluke we are still interested in Mhin (i.e., choosing the nice option when Leander asks what you think about them), he will happily tell you that Mhin is a lonely bitch who hates other people and you shouldn't hang out with them. You know. For your own sake.

TLDR: Leander is a sneaky ass mf and I hope he locks my MC in a cage. I hope he tries to do some unforgivable black magic as some sort of fucked up love language. "we will be bound together forever, whether you like it or not" type shit

[burningcheese-merchant]

BurningCheese/GoldenSpice Playlist

Ok, time to stop being a bitch and post the ship playlist I keep harping on about already.

Gonna mark each song with an emoji to signify if it's meant to either be Burning Spice's POV (🔺) or Golden Cheese's (🧀). It's also going to be band/singer name first, song name second, for ease of understanding

Thank you to everyone who's reached out to me, both on here and on AO3, with song suggestions! A good chunk of these came from me myself, but a lot of people introduced me to plenty more songs that I loved and agreed suited these two perfectly. It's been fun putting a playlist together with this help, it feels like a fun group project now lol. (Hell, you guys are actually helping me think of new writing material. Music is a huge source of inspiration and creativity for me, as I'm sure you've noticed. In a way, you're all indirectly making fic requests lol)

You're all still more than welcome to keep shooting me song ideas to add, the playlist is ever-expanding! I'll just come back to this post and edit any new additions in. (This playlist is 3x longer than my PitayaFire one. I need you all to understand how big of a deal that is for me personally. I never thought I'd be this down bad for a ship besides that one. It's fucking surreal)

Some of it is meant to sound one-sided, others like it's a mutual love/relationship. I'll let you guess which is which lol. Now rock out to Evil Spice Man x Pretty Cheese Lady with me 🤘🤘🤘

Mindless Self Indulgence - Shut Me Up🔺

Fall Out Boy - I Don't Care🔺(with the Wild Spice crew as the backup singers!!!)

Mariah Carey - Obsessed 🧀

Three Days Grace - I Hate Everything About You🔺🧀

Lady Gaga - Bad Romance🔺🧀

Dead or Alive - You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)🔺

Mindless Self Indulgence - What Do They Know?🔺

Britney Spears - Toxic 🧀

Fish in a Birdcage - Rule #34🔺(this is also a great PureShadow song ngl. It's how it was first introduced to me, even lol)

Shayfer James - Filthy Habit🔺

King Gnu - SPECIALZ🔺🧀 (look up the English version of the lyrics. Very BurningCheese-core imo)

Mindless Self Indulgence - This Hurts🔺

Jack Black - Peaches🔺(shout out to the anon in my inbox who suggested this. Joke's on them, I had this on the playlist right from the start lolololololol)

Arctic Monkeys - R U Mine?🔺

Lady Gaga - Poker Face 🧀

Olly Murs (feat. Flo Rida) - Troublemaker 🧀

Rihanna - Where Have You Been🔺(fun fact: I had this playing on a loop as I wrote "Our Little Dance" to get into the Yandere Spice mindset lol)

Lady Gaga - Judas 🧀

Miike Snow - Genghis Khan🔺

The Orion Experience - Obsessed With You🔺(this song is just really funny. You can probably apply it to all Beast x Ancient ships tbh)

Nine Inch Nails - Closer🔺

Mindless Self Indulgence - 5TR82HE11🔺

Air Traffic Controller - This Is Love🔺

Bad Omens - THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND🔺🧀

Isabel LaRosa - favorite 🧀

Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch🔺(listen I imagined Spice singing this to Golden and just started howling with laughter, it's fucking hysterical ok)

ENHYPEN - Bite Me🔺

Scissor Sisters - I Can't Decide🔺(GC would sing a few parts tho)

5 Seconds of Summer - Teeth🔺🧀 (mostly Spice though)

Buerak - Культ Тела 🔺(look up English lyrics, very Yandere Spice coded. Thank you to the anon who suggested it)

Tom Lehrer - The Masochism Tango🔺

Lady Gaga - Disease 🧀

G-Eazy (with Halsey) - Him & I🔺🧀

Britney Spears - ...Baby One More Time🔺(imagine Spice singing this while stuck in prison. Please. He's singing and the other Beasts want to off themselves because it's so annoying and he won't stop. Please it is so funny. I have so much fun imagining this freak acting stupid-)

[theeternalhost]

/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ -- AVERT YOUR EYES!

⌖ call me whatever name or nickname you want. I am a guy.

⌖ sorry ladies, I am a Homosexual

RETARDATIONS

⌖ I condone. any death is mercy.

⌖ I'm autistic, a narcissist, a dysthymic, a wannarexic, and a hobby bulimic.

⌖ im a misogynist (go to the tags of this post and click #misogyny tag because people keep asking if you're curious), trans medicalist, anti natalist, and misanthrope.

⌖ I post about self destruction sometimes. I love it! I think you should cut yourself too!

INTERESTS

⌖ I REALLY FUCKS WITH A-BOMBS. science is a huge special interest of mine so I talk about it sometimes here.

⌖ elliot rodger, andrew blaze, jeffrey dahmer, and adam lanza are my favorite cases.

⌖ my favorite bands are my chemical romance, failure, the killers, linkin park, midori, bloodhound gang, 3oh!3, shinsei kamattechan, saves the day, nine inch nails, marilyn manson, nerf herder, a perfect circle, and la dispute (in no particular order.)

⌖ here is a playlist with a bunch of songs that relate to me for you to jerk off to

⌖ feel free to request things for me to draw.

⌖ radqueers and prolifers fuck away from me! I will just block you.

⌖ I update this post often! check in every once in a while.

⌖ go nuts in my ask box and messages :]

[mono-moonchilds]

For Glory │KNJ

⤑ pairing: underground boxer!namjoon x fem!reader

⤑ genre: angst!!, smut, some fluff ig but also not really but yes??

⤑ rating:explicit (18+)

⤑ word count: 3.2k

⤑ summary: A fight to the death. No rules, no refs, and nowhere to run.

⤑ warnings: descriptive depiction of boxing, illusions of death, mentions of a stabbing, ig just violence in general fr, arguments, anyways on to the smut part of these warnings, fingering, emotional sex, missionary, riding, namjoon has a buzz cut, feel free to let me know if I missed anything but I think that's all folks

⤑ A/N: I watched Bloodhounds a few weeks then just had to make a boxing fic because I loved that show so much. hot men + fighting = sign me up.

The room was full to capacity, nothing but sweaty drunks that were hollering over each other while letting out rowdy cheers filling the place. Despite it all, it felt like you could hear everything. Every punch, every kick- each blow that landed on his bruised skin rang a thousand times in your ears. The fight had only been going on for fifteen minutes —probably less— but it felt like much longer. Both of their bodies already so badly beaten —bright red blood spewing from their wounds and covering the once pristine mat.

This was your first fight and it showed. Your hands clenching the worn wooden benches, breath hitching at every movement. You usually didn’t come to these events, and you didn’t see how anyone could. They were barbaric and rough -no gloves, no rules, and definitely no safety measures. They couldn’t use weapons but that was about it. Everything else was free game and however the match ended was how it ended.

Whether it was in a K.O. or stone-cold murder was all up to the victor.

‘Fight To The Death’ was what they called it. A sixteen-by-sixteen ring, surrounded by wired, ceiling-high fences, and absolutely no referees. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, and nowhere to escape. Neither party could call a time-out either. Once they were in the ring they were stuck there until the horn blew signaling the match was over.

“Fuck!” You jumped up from your seat. That was a mean one. The punch knocked Namjoon straight on his back allowing the other to climb on top. Luckily Namjoon was able to bring his arms up and get into a protective huddle, but it was still barely any help. Lee Do Yoon was evil, and his hits were ruthless. Even in the regular matches, he had a reputation for playing dirty.

This wasn’t even supposed to be his fight. For two years Namjoon had been out —he owned a gym and had a regular life that didn’t involve the underground fighting scene. For two beautiful years, you were able to see your boyfriend come home the way he left. No bruises, no busted lips. Just a clean face and a happy smile.

All of you had told Jungkook to lie low. That bragging and arguing with The Vipers was something he did not want to do. Despite your efforts to keep out this scene and the business that went along with it even you knew that Do Yoon and his little gang were nothing to mess with. Of course, Jungkook didn’t listen. When did he ever?

The night of your anniversary was when you got the call. You and Namjoon were on your way home from dinner when his phone rang.

Jungkook had been stabbed. They did him over three different times before leaving him for dead in the middle of an alley. Thankfully Jungkook had been relatively fine, but he was in absolutely no shape to fight. He could’ve pulled out but all of them had way too much vengeance to let the incident go unchecked, letting The Vipers have another by default victory. The other man had done this before and the only reason none of them ever got him back was they were all too consumed with their grief.

Hoseok had offered to fight in Jungkook’s place and so had Taehyung but either of them getting in that ring with Lee Do Yoon would’ve been like signing their death note. It’d been years since their last fight. And even though both of them were still in amazing shape they also had way too many injuries to even stand a chance of winning.

Of course, Namjoon never told you his plan though. He kept quiet, carefully dodging your suspicious questions until tonight.

“It’s okay- he’s okay. Namjoon’s got this,” Jungkook tried to comfort wrapping his arm around you, but you shook him off sending a mean glare.

You knew it was unfair to still be angry with him, but you couldn’t help. Sometimes you just wanted Jungkook to grow up —for him to mature and think with his head. Yeah, he knew how to step but he also needed to know when to fall the fuck back. He was twenty-five and everyone was still cleaning up his messes as if he were a kid.

“Joon!” You screamed out your hands banging against the gate. Instead of grabbing your boyfriend’s attention, you grabbed Do Yoon’s. A bloody grin filling his snake-like features as he turned towards you.

“Come on Joon—” he cooed mockingly, “you gone let your girl stand there and just watch you get put down like an animal? I thought you were supposed to be something. That’s what they told me.” Do Yoon got up from on top of him swinging his leg back hard before pushing it forward kicking Namjoon straight in the side. It sent all the air out of his body making Namjoon curl into a ball as he let out a loud cry. “Your nothing,” Do Yoon hacked a bloody lob right onto his face. “Just a washed-up piece of shit.”

Do Yoon yanked his head back. Namjoon had no time to react before the other man's hard fist clocked him dead in the face six times before dropping him back on the mat. Even though the match wasn’t over Do Yoon jumped around the ring as if he’d already won the crowd hyping him up like the depraved monster he was.

“Please,” You begged. Namjoon was still down. He kept trying to get up, but his body was wobbly and failing him.

Do Yoon crouched down in front of you. His tongue dragged against the nasty wire fence as he licked it. “Once I’m done imma have a nice time with you—” he reached down groping his flaccid dick in his shorts. “me and my boys. We’re going to-”

Before he can finish the sentence Do Yoon’s face is smashed against the fence before being dragged back. Namjoon is the one on top now. His punches unrelenting as he attacks every part of the man underneath his body. For once you understood how everyone else in the arena felt. A loud cheer came from the depths of your soul as you threw your arms up. Do Yoon was able to get a few good punches in, but it wasn’t enough, newfound energy filling Namjoon’s entire being.

It should have terrified you. The way Namjoon looked -his eyes cold and distant but it didn’t.

With one last heavy punch the match was over, Do Yoon’s arms falling flat to his side. For once the audience was quiet. Everyone was waiting with bated breath to see if he would get up. Strings of swearing erupted from his goons, their hands shaking the cage wall as they yelled at him. It was too late though.

The loud countdown over the speaker started.

Ten!

Nine!

Eight!

Seven!

Six!

Five!

Four!

Three!

Two!

One!

The horn blared.

“The winner of this year's Fight to The Death: Kiiim NaaamJOON!”

As soon as the gate rolled open you were gone. Jumping up you wrap your legs around Namjoon’s waist, his strong arms lifting you into the air. The crowd fickle as ever rang out in cheers, shouting and chanting Namjoon’s praises. Your boyfriend took it all in, a loud roar erupting from his throat as he bounced up and down.

It was over.

It was all finally over.

Namjoon walked out of the venue with a limp and somewhat clean face. Though he was still marred with bruises and cuts, Seokjin had managed to patch him up well. Before the two of you got into the car, he called over Jungkook handing him one of the leather briefcases. With a shake of his head, the younger immediately declined, pushing it away.

“Take it,” Namjoon pressed shoving it into his chest. “Pay your debts and stay out of trouble.”

“I’m sorry Hyung,” Jungkook broke down into tears. “I’m so sorry,” He repeated looking at you this time. “I will. I promise I will.”

“I know,” Namjoon said pulling Jungkook into a hug. “It’s over. don’t think about it too much.”

Throughout all his goodbyes Namjoon kept a stoic face. It was only when the two of you crawled into the backseat of Hoseok’s car that he let out a loud sob. Hoseok looked back at him through the rear-view mirror but didn’t say anything. There wasn’t anything to say. Reaching over you grabbed his hand and leaned over resting your head on his shoulder.

“I did it. I fucking did.” Namjoon whispered but you knew he wasn’t talking to you. He wasn’t talking to either of you. Instead, his focus was on the golden boxing glove chain that was around his neck.

Yoongi’s old necklace.

When the two of you entered your shared apartment the story of what had gone down just hours before was all over the place. The space is messy littered with broken objects that you’d thrown around in a fit. Before you could finish making your way over to the kitchen to grab the broom Namjoon grabbed your wrist stopping you.

“We’ll clean it up tomorrow. Come on,”

Sitting down on the bed Namjoon pulled you a top of him. Your legs spread on either side of his body. “Didn’t think you would come,” 

“Called Jimin last minute. He rushed me over.”

“How come?”

You shrugged sucking in a sniffle. “I just couldn’t bear the thought of you being in that ring thinking all that shit I said was true. I didn’t mean it Joon. I didn’t mean any of it.”

Namjoon, as understanding as ever nodded his head. “Baby I know you didn’t. I know you were just angry and you had every right to be.” That made you cry. You never would understand what you’d done in life to be able to call someone like Namjoon yours.

Gingerly grabbing your brown cheeks between his palms, Namjoon pulled you in for a kiss. The remnants of dried metallic blood danced on your tongue. It reminded you of your first kiss. How the scars made his lips rough and how swollen they felt against yours. You should’ve been used to this but for some reason, it all felt so foreign. Haven got so used to your new normal you’d completely pushed down the old one.

The staying up to the wee hours of the morning wondering if he was going to be okay, sometimes having to patch him up or force him to go to the hospital when things looked too bad.

“Come on,” Namjoon hushed pulling you back in. “Stay with me,”

Flipping the two of you over he laid you down on your back. His hands instantly falling to the hem of your leggings as he pulled the tight fabric off of you. Namjoon’s lips found yours once again, a soft gasp-like breath leaving your mouth as you felt the outline of his hardening cock pressing against your lower belly. Freeing you from the confines of his hoodie Namjoon latched onto your neck, his mouth sucking hard at the exposed skin as his fingers slowly trailed down your stomach and to the place you needed him most.

It was crazy. How with just a mere touch from him you were soaked. Panties clinging desperately to your sodden pussy. Letting out a low chuckle Namjoon pulled his fingers from your panties showing you the slick digits. “Thought you said you hated me?”

Letting out a whine you rolled your eyes. “Please,” You quietly begged. You knew Namjoon was just trying to make light- show you in his own little way that he wasn’t mad at you, but you couldn’t do it tonight. You didn’t want to relive any of the shit you’d said to him.

Sliding from off of you Namjoon laid down on his side while pulling your thigh up onto his hip so that now the two of you were laying down on the bed facing each other. Pushing his hand back between your bodies his fingers made their way back into your panties- the calloused tips rubbing against your sensitive clit.

One by one he pushed his middle and ring finger into your needy hole. Forcing another low gasp from your mouth as you leaned forward burying your face into the crook of his neck. Namjoon kept a slow pace. Dragging his fingers in and out, ever so slightly curving the digits to rub them against that little spot that always made you lose it.

“You know I love you,” Namjoon breathed against your neck. You nodded. “I was always gonna come back to you. Nothing could keep me away from you.”

Your body writhes, your right hand flying up wanting to tangle into Namjoon’s dark locks but there was nothing there. Just like it was when you’d first met him his hair was once again completely buzzed leaving him with practically little to nothing. So instead, you settle for grasping at the back of his neck, practically fucking yourself onto the digits, your hips having a mind of their own as they rolled and jerked.

You wanted nothing more than to say something back, tell Namjoon how much you loved him too but you couldn’t. The pleasure over taking your body so much that the only thing you could do was let out low swears followed by the call of his name. It always embarrassed you how just with a few touches Namjoon could have you speechless and clinging to his body in desperation.

You could hear the wetness. Your slick undoubtedly leaving the bed sheets along with your inner thighs a mess. “Look at me,” Namjoon mumbled a faint smile filling his lips as you followed his command. “You know I like looking at you when you cum.”

Namjoon’s fingers sped up. The squelches from your pussy fill the quiet room. “Shit,” You swore. That familiar feeling rising up in your lower belly. You could feel your legs tightening up, the heel of your foot pressing into the back of Namjoon's calf.

“That’s right. Let go for me baby,” You don’t need to be told twice. Your vision crossing a little as your body shudders against his. “There we go. Always so pretty. My pretty baby,” Namjoon encourages his fingers not letting up even for a moment as he fucks you through your orgasm. It feels like forever before he finally pulls away, shoving the slick digits into his mouth.

Pulling away for just a moment Namjoon sits up and pulls his own hoodie off. Even though you know it's against your better interest you can’t help but look. His bare chest was exposed showing all of the bruises that littered his once clear skin. They were everywhere. There wasn’t a bare piece of skin that didn’t have Do Yoon’s dirty prints on it. “nuh uh—” Namjoon murmurs tilting your chin up. “Don’t look at that. Look at me. Just stay here with me,” Kissing your tears away Namjoon rolled the two of you over so that he was back on top of you. In one swift movement, he pulled down his gym shorts and boxers allowing his thick cock to spring free from its previous confinements.

Grabbing the length, Namjoon began to pump it, smearing the creamy white beads that’d spurted from the tip into the rest of the skin. “Joon,” You breathed needily, your cunt throbbing desperately in your panties. Even though your boyfriend just shushed you he didn’t tease much longer, the head of his cock pressing into your pussy slowly splitting you open.

Despite Namjoon’s thrusts being slow they were hard. Each push knocking the wind out of you as you begged for more. Dipping his head down Namjoon wrapped his full lips around your brown nipple suckling the pebble into his mouth.

“Right there,” You moaned, eyes fluttering closed at the overwhelming sensations that racked through your body. Letting go of your nipple Namjoon’s face falls onto your shoulder, low grunts and groans falling from his lips with every thrust.

“Fucking love you,” Namjoon whispers so low that you weren’t even sure he’d meant to say it out loud. Wrapping your legs around his lower back, you pull him deeper into you, making a low hiss fall from Namjoon’s mouth as you accidentally press into a bruise.

“’m sorry,” you slur out.

“S’okay,” He grumbles kissing your collar blade, his wet tongue dragging across the skin. Pulling away Namjoon looked down at you, a small smile filling his face as he stared. Even though he didn’t say anything you knew exactly what he was feeling because you felt the same. The happiness. The relief. Although Namjoon had given promises of winning before he left the two of you both knew very well the fight could’ve gone either way.

Gradually his eyes drifted downward, first falling on your bouncing breast but then inevitably ending on your belly causing tears to fill his eyes. This time you pull him out of it, your hands cupping his cheeks as you pull him down for a kiss. “Lemme ride you,” you say.

With a nod of his head, Namjoon changed positions causing you to let out a lower whimper. He always felt so fucking deep in this position, like his cock was right in your stomach. “Shit—” Namjoon’s eyes got wide. “do you think we’re gonna—”

“Joon—” You cut him off with a laugh already knowing what he was about to ask. “You’re big but you're not that damn big. Just give me a minute.” You finish a moan tumbling for your lips as you roll your hips just a bit to help get used to the stretch.

Instead of placing your hands on his chest you lean back grasping his thighs, eyes fluttering close as you rock back and forth. Namjoon’s hands found purchase on your waist helping you grind a little bit faster, his hips rising a little to match your movements. Lifting yourself up you drop back down, the loud sound of skin slapping together filling the room as you repeat the movements.

“Don’t think I gonna last—” Namjoon chokes out. “feel too fucking good.”

You nod your head in agreement, already feeling the sensation building. “Just a lil faster baby.” Namjoon whimpers. “I need a little more,”

As you follow his directions, Namjoon’s head falls back. His lips forming into a ‘o’ as his eyebrows furrow together. He was almost there and so were you. Reaching down you rub fast circles onto your clit, your body shaking as your orgasm hits you hard. It doesn’t take long for Namjoon to follow, a loud groan escaping him as his cum paints your inner walls white.

The two of you pant, barely allowing the other to catch a breath before you find your lips on each other once again. Carefully you slide off him and fall to the side. Wrapping his arms back around you Namjoon pulls you in once more. His hand finds rest on your belly rubbing at the barely there bump as his eyes flutter close.

“Don’t know what I would do without you,” You whisper.

“And I don’t want to find out.”

⤑ A/N: I really loved writing this couple and I kinda wanna write the prequel to how they met and also Jungkook and Yoongi's story. I hope you guys enjoyed it!

[child0feden]

FIRE MELTS ICE

kimi raikkonen x cky / jackass member! reader

♡ general dating headcanons for kimi with a member of cky and jackass!

୨୧ decided to make this just the dating era, i might do a part two following along the smau more with them getting married and having their kids if you guys want it! this takes place between 2001 and 2007 <3

♡ related smau available here | view my formula 1 masterlist here

reading music recommendations: rio bravo by cky - come to daddy by aphex twin - right here in my arms by him

♡ you guys met in 2001 when you were both 21!

୨୧ you had been a member of cky / jackass from the very beginning, having grown up with with bam and ryan <3 you got the nickname “ fireass ” because of all the times you’ve had your ass set on fire ( usually by bam )

♡ you’re like three peas in a pod, only ever seeing each other as siblings

୨୧ supposedly, some of the people from mtv had made a deal with some guys in f1 about being able to shoot some stunts with the cars but when you and the guys arrived it seems there had been some kind of HUGE misunderstanding…

♡ while mtv people were arguing with f1 people ( you really didn’t care enough to get their names ) you wandered off to have a look around, not wanting to just stand around watching some people argue

୨୧ you run into kimi somewhere in the paddock, locking eyes with him would usually make anyone else look away almost immediately but you held his icy gaze with your own fiery stare

♡ you don’t believe in all that “ love at first sight ” talk but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel like something clicked into place on your heart when you saw him

୨୧ and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t get the exact same feeling…

♡ so you approached each other, him asking what you were up to here and you asking if he listens to aphex twin or bloodhound gang

୨୧ before long bam finds you and decides to do what he does best… which is torment you with a taser and handheld camera!

♡ to say kimi was confused as to what the hell was happening would be an understatement…

“ what the hell are you doing? why did you do that do her? are you insane? ” ( he had no idea who the hell you guys were and literally thought bam was just some insane guy assaulting you, all the while bam was laughing his ass off at you clutching your tased ass cheek )

୨୧ but you left with his number and he left with yours so hey, you’d say it was worth it

♡ you guys begin dating super quickly, you’re both confident and outgoing people who aren’t afraid to speak their mind and there’s clearly a connection between you two so why waste time?

୨୧ so you don’t waste time and begin officially dating after just one date :)

♡ there were DEFINITELY some rumours going around in the mid 2000’s that you were actually dating ville or you were cheating on kimi with ville

୨୧ some people going even further and saying you were actually in a throuple with ville and kimi

♡ the gossip magazine titles got real creative with the headlines when those rumours started… so many corny lines about how they’re both finnish so that must mean you have a type and a bunch of other stupid shit

୨୧ you ran with the joke for a short time, your nickname changing from “ fireass ” to “ finnisher ” y’know, because you supposedly make two finns finish? god, it was so stupid

♡ you were never dating ville, obviously, you were more like siblings with both him and bam and you were happier than ever with kimi! the only members you ever did anything with was dico, rake and chris ( not pontious ) and those were simple pecks for the camera!

୨୧ and kimi knows not to worry, he’d never been the jealous or insecure type, he has no problem speaking his mind if he feels something isn’t right

♡ kimi absolutely loves to watch you skate in the parking lot of your apartment complex!

୨୧ he thinks you’re so damn good and should’ve gone pro… whenever you fuck up and get a really bad scrape, he’s always gently asking if you’re good before coming over to help you up and make sure you don’t snap your skateboard in half, knowing you’d regret it later…

♡ you’re forever thankful that you fell in love with someone as unbothered as kimi

୨୧ you usually come home from a day of filming smelling like a disgusting combination of vomit, alcohol, gasoline and cigarettes…

♡ you always apologise to kimi for the smell ( despite knowing he really doesn’t care all that much ) before heading to the bathroom to brush your teeth and take a hot shower

୨୧ but he’s hot on your tail, following you into the bathroom and watching you undress from the doorway… when you hop into the shower, he moves from his spot in the doorway, getting undressed and getting in with you

♡ he doesn’t talk much, it’s mainly you asking about what he was up to while you were gone and him answering! only sometimes asking you similar questions about the stunts you did

୨୧ he washes your hair for you, his hands surprisingly gentle, mindful of any tangles

“ tilt your head back more, kulta… that’s it ” ( he acts like getting some water in your eyes would hurt you more than any of the stunts you’ve done before )

♡ small things like this were common between you, a show of love and care <3

୨୧ when bam made haggard, he obviously wanted you to have a character in it and so you did! but it wasn’t just you, oh no…

♡ why would bam miss the opportunity to get an f1 driver in his film? he’d be a fool to not beg you to ask kimi for an appearance in the film as your character’s boyfriend

୨୧ kimi agreed but ONLY for you <3 his appearance was much shorter than yours but bam was happy with it and it would go down in the books as a nice piece of semi obscure f1 lore

♡ people know whenever kimi has brought to with him to a race because the only thing they hear coming from his drivers room is him, bloodhound gang, cky and gnarkill…

୨୧ you actually convert kimi into being a huge fan of these bands, he already liked that type of music anyways but he didn’t listen to those bands before he got with you! you make him so many burned CDs

♡ whenever kimi is with you while you’re filming for jackass and perform a particularly nasty stunt, the cameraman LOVES to pan over to kimi, capturing his face which wears a slight frown and a scrunched nose <3

୨୧ when ryan did the toy car up the ass stunt, he made sure it was an f1 car, just to add some irony to the situation as you were the one giving him advice on how to get it up there ( kimi was NOT impressed with the joke )

♡ something that happens on the regular is f1 journalists calling in on radio bam, hoping to get the latest scoop on the cars and drivers from you… as if you know anything about the cars?

୨୧ of course, you entertain them for a minute or two, feeding them fake stories about how all of the drivers actually despise each other and they’re feuding… you know they won’t mind!

♡ but when you get bored, you quickly dive into a deeply detailed description of yours and kimi’s sex life, giving them only the dirtiest details

୨୧ they always hang up, it’s a guarantee <3 usually kimi is listening in at home or even sitting in the studio with you, just gazing at you with a tiny, sly smirk on his face

♡ you and kimi are both very laidback souls!

୨୧ most of your free days are spent in your shared apartment, laid on the couch together, your legs over his lap whilst you watch a horror movie

♡ oh how you love your iceman…

[mattsfavbigtitties]

Bestfriend's w/the Triplets (Headcanons)

Warnings: cussing

MASTERLIST TAGLIST

A/n: My little boos;( pls remember that my requests r open and u can ask me anything🤗

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

- Honestly they are prepared to be bit by you WHENEVER. Literally anywhere you four are, if you’re anywhere close to them you’ll bite them for comfort. Whether it be the arm, a shoulder, maybe a hand and/or finger, their back or could be their chest. Either it be in a comforting way or you just being a brat.

One time when y’all were at a party together and Nick and Chris went off on their own leaving you with Matt. A few minutes goes by or maybe an hour you don’t know honestly, you and Matt have been talking and laughing in a small corner of what it seems was the living room.

You slowly have started to realize how many people were cramped in the same room and moved closer to Matt for comfort. Your anxiety had started to act up and you ended up grabbing his hand and hiding behind him while biting his back shoulder.

The boys never make a scene when this type of thing happens, they usually just let it happen and talk about it later with you in the comfort of his or your home.

On the other hand, when play fighting with them you always seem to use your teeth as the winning deal. And when arguing with them you’d take their arm and bite a little hard lol or when just lazing around with them you’ll lay on their chest with random bite in between videos on the TV.

- When hanging out with them gets a bit boring you’re there to bring up the mood with silly pranks. You loved doing the ‘wiping ‘poo’ on their hand’ when on the toilet. But you favorite their reaction to when you did the fake pregnancy test on them. They were so supportive and happy to become uncles to a lil man/girly.

They honestly don’t really like when you pull the pranks, but they usually recognize it’s pretty funny when they look back and reminisce on it. And every once in a while they’ll all three get together to do one on you too.

- Kissing their cheeks ALL the time. Anytime you finally see them after a while away you immediately kiss their cheek and hug them as a greeting. You love to give secret cheek kisses to each of them. You usually switch the cuddles between them each movie night you guys do and after almost every thirty minutes it seems you kiss their cheek as a way to give affection. And the plus to that is when you really seem to catch them off guard in the most unpredictable way and they get a little red in those cheeks.

- You love telling them random facts you see on the internet. Anywhere you are and something reminds you of that certain fact you learned that earlier day, you immediately tell them about it.

One example is when Chris was talking about chainsaws(somehow) and you told them “Oh my God! This video I watched this morning said they invented chainsaws to help with childbirth in the 18th century, like if the baby got stuck they’d cut away bones and shit to make room for it.”

Another example is when you went with the triplets to the zoo and you saw the koalas. “Guys, did you know that koalas shit and fuck from the same hole? It’s crazy right?” With that Nick replies “UGH, so thankful right now that I am not a koala.”

- They LOVE having you in their videos. Whether it be a car video, just a random vlog, or a little Wednesday video. You always make everything they say more funnier than it would be without you. You make everything that’s not dirty, dirty. The fans do notice they’re more lively when you’re with them too. It’s so cute.

- Singing in a deep voice “Baby, lock the doors and turn the lights down low.” in the middle of hanging out in Nick’s room. He’d look at you with a disgusted face and shout “WHAT?”

Usually you’d sing songs they know/have heard of, but the ones they’ve never heard get them a lot because you choose the most hideous songs ever.

In the kitchen one evening trying to help Chris cook a meal(read cooking Chris a meal) you start singing a recent song you’ve been listening to. “Dear, Chasey Lain. I wrote to explain I’m your biggest fan.” Chris gives you a side eye from where he sat on the table behind you. You keep singing “I just wanted to ask, could I eat your ass? Write back as soon as you can.”

Chris’ mouth drops agape and makes a shocked gasp then screams “WHAT THE FUCK?” You snicker a bit, stirring to mac and cheese. “You’ve had a lot of dick. I’ve had a lot of time-” you bust out laughing when you finally turn to see Chris’ face.

- Most times when with the guys you use cringey pet names to make them laugh. You mostly use ‘snuffaluffagus’ and so much so  that it really is their nickname. On occasion you’ll shock them with a good one, like booger or big daddy.

- One of your favorite days of the week is Saturday. Of course you like every other day too, but those Saturday nights are THE best. The guys(unfortunate for them, but fortunate for you) let you have a girly-like sleepover that one night a week.

You brought up one night how you don’t have any girl friends to do those kinds of things with and they agreed to give you the thought without reason.

They definitely would never take that back as those are the best nights(somehow) for them, but sometimes they think they regret it when you use such suspicious things on them. You usually just use cute face masks and some nail polish on them, but occasionally you’ll bring makeup and tweezers to make them ‘even more beautiful’ you’ll tell them.

TAGLIST: @riowritesitall

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

[blu3-ja3]

What 141 listens to over speakers when working out alone... I think next maybe civie clothes? Probably!

Soap: European Rap (Northern Boys and Shogun) and he plays loud, the boy got some hearing loss due to all the explosions. He mostly listens to them for the beats and less the lyrics much to the chagrin of the 141. He refuses to not listen to them but does add more variety to his play list.

Ghost: Classical Music, I just love the idea of Simon going hard, weight lifting and solo boxing, blasting Bauq. He's like the most intimidating soldier on base and most everyone avoids the training room when he's in there. So no one believes Roach when he yaps about Ghost listening to Mozart while beating the shit out of him in the ring. Only the 141 knows the truth.

Gaz: British alternative, The Muse and Gorillaz, he likes the rhythm and it's easy for him to get into a good groove while training. He's been to as many concerts as he can big or small, the man enjoys music and often goes to see local bands. But at base he deals without his live music fix by listening to his favorites.

Roach: White girl pop and cunty rap, like full on Megan Thee Stallion and Kesha blasting as loud as possible. His play list is called Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss. He likes to feel powerful and what better hype music is there than the hype music meant for American women. He likes setting up karaoke nights so he can convince Soap and Gaz to screech the lyrics with him drunkenly.

Price: Old man country, Johnny Cash and Marty Robbins, he likes his cowboy country and who can blame him its the best kind of country. He absolutely loves American westerns and is part of the reason he joined the military, to become a Western hero. It's why he often goes off the rails and does what he believes is right. Gaz likes to tease him about his slight obsession but truly thinks it cute.

O'Connor: Rock but like Horny Rock, she's absolutely blasting shit like Closer by Nine Inch Nails and Bad Touch by Bloodhound Gang because she knows she'll have the room alone. The few times one of the boys came in to work out they seemed to be red as hell. O'Connor finds it extremely funny, she's a raging lesbian listening to mostly straight men singing about sex and fucking. The fact that it can make even Ghost squirm just the smallest bit helps fuel the continuation of the habit. She knows the main reason she does is so she doesn't force herself to wear long sleeves to hide her scarred body.

COD Master List

[lowkeyrobin]

AUAUUGJGHJ have i told u how cool u are. like ur writing several requests at a time while managing writers block. like u handle it and still be able to write so well??? thats so cool?? i js adore ur work idk atp..

so ermm maybe some poly preferences w sparrow!ben and klaus dating reader,, would wanna see how they worked it out esp w ben being there yk :3

- 🦇

awe tysm I appreciate this shit sm it's not even funny A; but yeah I could totally try!! hopefully this came out well idk LOLLL; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy!

SPARROW! BEN & KLAUS ; sharing isn't caring

summary; dating sparrow! ben and klaus is fucking hell on earth

warnings; language

disclaimers; no harcest.... gtfo, also the other sparrows aren't dead, pretend the grandfather paradox didn't happen

word count ; 471

masterlist

they're both go out and party guys, whether you like it or not

you're constantly going out to clubs and parties (and probably acting as the one watching over them. if not then Ben is watching over you and Klaus)

if you'd prefer to stay in over going out then there's a little spinner thing in the kitchen that decides what they're doing that free night / weekend

^ some nights it's just sitting around watching movies, others it's you and Klaus having a mini fashion show as you await ben coming home from the club w the other sparrows, and sometimes it's you and ben cooking awaiting klaus' return from the bar with five and luther

you do go out as a trio though

and you try to not make it obvious you're dating both of them, at least to strangers

even 2024 isn't that safe for poly ppl

sometimes you all just mutually agree to do one thing, but you mostly have different desires so you try and mix them all together

like if you wanna go on a jog, Klaus wants to go shopping and Ben wants to run some errands, you walk to wherever Ben needs to go and head to the grocery store afterwards / in between (whatevers more convenient)

that doesn't mean your plans don't get switched up tho

you're the most unorganized ppl ever.

reginald would be dissapointed in them (well.. Ben, mostly)

you usually have aux in the car / in the house

but you do rock paper scissors for it most the time and you always win

klaus usually plays stuff like april skies, streetwalker, queer, etc (like 90s grunge (?)) or classic rap / hip hop. the occasional song like come clean or sailor song, probably mix in some she wants revenge and the cure tho

he'd unironically make yall listen to foxszn and 3drinkz all the time

ben is a kind of an early 2000s rock fan but won't actually admit it. like paramore, linkin park, 3 days grace, he was an emo kid

but he usually plays like classic rock or songs you can like dance too iykwim

klaus is a physical affection guy while ben is more into acts of service

"can I get a hug??? 😔😔"

"you need anything? I'll grab you some more-"

they're so sweet I can't

they lowkey don't fight over you at all

I mean they're bros from other hoes

they argue about those doing dishes and shit not over you 💀💀💀

music vibes cause I'm running out of ideas..

the promise ; when in rome

somewhere in my heart ; aztec camera

the bad touch ; bloodhound gang

last night ; fox szn & 3drinkz

big love ; she wants revenge

taste ; sabrina carpenter

nasty dog ; sir-mix-a-lot

the baddest ; joey valance & brae

[masked-hatchet]

OOO OO OOO!! WAIT! BEN!!! IVE BEEN FOLLOWING FOR A HOT MOMENT AND I FEEL SO BLESSED TO FINALLY SEE YOUR VERSIONNN 🙏🙏🙏🙏

Do you have headcannons set up for him? I’d love to hear! it’s okay if you don’t! 🌟

Ben Drowned Headcanons

i don't have many, but here's a few :3 (fyi these are pretty much revolving around slendermansion, shrugs.)

He prefers older game consoles over anything, but he isn't too picky.

He's constantly dripping wet, probably uses this to annoy people. (he gets kicked off furniture often.)

His favorite band/artist is Bloodhound gang, it just seems fitting imo.

Nina dyes his hair every once and a while to have raccoon tails.

Overly annoying brother figure to sally, teasing constantly.

Fucks around and gives people popups on any computer in the mansion at any chance he gets.

His ass does NOT read, the only thing you'll catch him reading is legend of Zelda manga.

Doesn't necessarily need to eat cause he's 'dead', but he's a really picky eater.

Natural brunette, bleaches it blonde.

Has his windows taped/painted to look like the glass panes from Minecraft.

Anything in his room is probably stolen, he doesn't buy anything.

14-17 bodily, though he's been around for decades.

Dresses like a skater boy lmfao

[spnregular]

do the shampoo fic

like my wafflehouse hashbrowns is the second installment in my "bad touch" series, named for the bloodhound gang song. this is a dom!dean fic where lol you just have to hear me out!!!!!!! dom!dean is a silly concept but when the stars align it like rlly hits. tagging @ragdollsammy bc they asked about this as well!

Dean cobbled a shopping list together in his mind while running his fingers through Cas’s chest and arm hair. It was nice that Cas slept now. Dean could look at him in peace.

crucially dom!dean is about cas btw, this is about cas thinking it's hot

Once he really couldn’t deny the need to piss, Dean finally got up, pressing a kiss to Cas’s temple as he rose. Dean knew Cas wasn’t going too far. He’d be waiting when Dean came home. 

In my perfect world, cas and dean have the bunker to themselves. Dean is in full housewife mode nesting and making sure everything is perfect for his man and his boys when theyre in town. Also dean knows everything ok, no one gets anything by him bc he buys everything! Also i despite how i get on dean’s case all the time, i spend a lot of time also thinking about how soft destiel can be once dean lets go of other things. like once he stops hunting and isnt around sam all the time.

Dean paced up and down the aisle grabbing at dumb shit. Sam and Eileen were in town for the weekend so Dean knew he’d have to pick up some extra stuff. For all that Dean stole a little ointment from time to time, Sam was a fucking menace with hair stuff. Dean couldn’t believe how much product went in to maintaining that fucking mop of his. Equally unbelievable, was how prissy Sam could get about brands. It all had to be good for the environment, no chemicals n’ shit. All code for expensive. Dean sighed before taking his phone out.

Dean and gender….. Also dean really does believe sam is a lil self centered lmao he’s so crazy

Sam huffed out a laugh, “Dean, you still use three-in-one. That stuff sucks.”

“Then tell me why I was always running out of it for the entire year of 2013,” Dean clapped back.

So dean uses three in one bc men shouldnt have more than two soaps at a time obviously and 2013 is an attempt at referencing sam’s s8 hair because he was soooooo beautiful lmfao like they should have kept that stylist around.

Dean blinked. Cas was terrible at shopping. “Whaddyou mean ‘Cas got you some stuff’?”

Remember when cas knocked over half a gas station trying to put together an apology basket for his man….

“He, uh,” Sam hesitated, “He’s already got some stuff that’s really good. Organic and local.”

When cas showed sam how to jerk off the plant, sam almost had a heart attack bc i believe that cas was jerking that thang silly. Actually sam’s reaction is what clued cas into it being akin to an erotic experience for humans (cas would already find it erotic). But here, sam does not want dean to know that he found cas harvesting the plant super horny bc dean can be a lil possessive. That’s dean’s angel u kno…..

“Whatever, Dean,” Sam said, “See you back at the bunker. You’re out of Cheerios, by the way.”

I like to laugh abt cereal discourse

“You remembered the bags this time,” Cas said, smiling more with his eyes than his mouth, “Sam will be pleased.”

Dean grunted in response before leaning in to kiss Cas on the cheek, “Y’wanna help me get this all put away?”

“Of course, Dean,” Cas placed his book face down, splayed out along the already cracked spine.

“You know, he ain’t gonna be too pleased when he sees you been practically spatchcocking his books,” Dean said as he worked, mentally cataloging each dry good and dairy product. This should last a few days despite the few extra mouths. 

“Oh, well,” Cas said, not pausing a bit as he moved through the kitchen. 

They both love sam a lot, but also cas doesn’t give a shit what sam thinks whereas dean kinda does.

Dean snorted. They moved in the sort of quiet that only came from hard-earned understanding.  The sort of trust you had to fight for. What they had wasn’t perfect– still plenty of bumps in the road, still plenty of loud fights and disappearing and saying shit they didnt’t really mean– but they fucking worked for it. 

Dean smiled to himself when they finished. Everything was squared away where it should be: snack cupboard overflowing, fruit bowl filled for Sam, and Dean’s hip glued to the back of Cas’s ass as he pulled him in for a hug.

Everything is by dean’s design….. As it should be obviously…..

“Hey, you gone shopping recently?”

Cas pulled back to look up at Dean, “No. You hate when I go shopping without you.”

Dean does not think cas is capable of getting the right stuff at the store and has Made This Known. Not great lol, but cas is fine to defer to dean’s greater wisdom of humanity anyway.

Cas tilted his head, “He’s not mooching, Dean. There is plenty to go around. You’re welcome to some if you’d like. I’ve noticed that you like how it smells.”

Dean felt his neck heat up, “You noticed me sniffin’ you?”

Cas nodded, doing that eye smile thing again. Dean’s stomach swooped. 

“It’s comforting,” Cas said.

I got really soft in my chest writing this bit because well, theyre in love…. And doing cute things….

What Cas called a garden, most would call a patch of weeds. It sat about a quarter of a mile away from the bunker, nestled away in the woods. When Cas said he wanted a garden, Dean pictured sunflowers, rose bushes, maybe some zucchini. Something more like what you’d see in a Thomas Kincade calendar. The greenery that Cas cultivated… was a little different from that.

So gardening is a total made up fanon cas bit that i employed just to make this fic work. Im not opposed to most fanon cas headcanons like gardening or reading i just think that if you do it it should be weird. Like i think cas would be so intimately aware of what he puts in his compost and would like watch it decompose. Another thing he would find erotic.

Dean could never make heads or tails of it. Cas insisted that most everything was native to the area, no invasives, whatever that meant, but it just looked like a mess of weird leaves and nasty mushroom logs. Sure there were flowers, but nothing Dean knew the name of. Once, Dean asked if anything was poisonous and Cas told him not to touch anything. Didn’t have to tell Dean twice.

Cas clearly seemed to know where and what everything was because he led Dean through it all, all confident. He quietly instructed Dean to watch his step every so often. Don’t touch those flowers. Be careful of the bees. There were mole holes there, be careful.

Yeah, Dean didn’t get it but it made him fuzzy inside that Cas did. 

Have you heard that dean thinks cas is a cute lil guy…….

“This thing’s from Hawaii?” Dean leaned in over Cas. It did smell really good, “Thought you were doin’ a native only garden?”

“The plant originates in South Asia, if I recall,” Cas trailed his thumb up and down the fat, thick ridges of the pinecone. Dean blinked fast when he saw Cas’s thumb coming away shiny, “And mostly native.”

I didnt add this detail but cas uses what’s left of his grace to keep the garden going. Keeping a shampoo ginger plant alive in a heavily shaded forest would be nigh impossible without divine intervention.

Something flashed in Cas’s eyes, “Generally, I come to you for a ‘little tug’. But, yes, I harvest the gel for my hair regularly.” With his clean hand, he dug into his pocket to pull out an empty bottle. He rubbed his hand along the rim, collecting what he could and letting the rest fall.

This may be a dom dean fic, but honestly cas does know how to push dean’s buttons. Like theyre dog4dog you know. Also i feel like i did cas a lil ooc with the “i come to you for a lil tug” line bc i dont think cas is one for wordplay but i wanted to get him flirting

Dean raised an eyebrow. Cas was pulling out all the stops here, big blue eyes, mouth parted, hair tousled, just begging for Dean’s fingers to grip and run through it. The fucking kneeling on the ground. Dean was getting played, he knew he was getting played. 

“Yeah, Cas,” Dean said, a lazy smile slowly sprawling across his face, “Where do you want me?” 

Cas absolutely knows that dean gets a kick out of teaching him stuff and well cas likes it too.  Nevermind that cas is a capable person (debatable in dean’s mind), cas likes knowing that he’s doing what dean wants.

Cas angled the bottle to follow their hands, collecting what he could. Almost seemed pointless. The plant was so wet, just gushing out in a constant stream of sticky, tacky fluid. Dean took in a sharp breath when Cas rearranged their fingers, so slightly, just to run his wet thumb along the broadside of Dean’s wrist. Their hands were almost at the tip, so close, and the bottle was almost full. Some of it splashed onto Dean’s boots and the ground beneath them was soaked, the liquid pooling deep. Dean’s mouth parted to exhale, his tongue heavy between his teeth.

So, i love to make the mundane erotic and i get so horny about plants lmfao.

Dean placed his other hand on Cas’s head and dabbed lightly at the gel collecting along his hairline. Cas looked up at him, his face open and eyes wanting. They closed so slowly when Dean’s hands moved, scratching his scalp and cupping the back of his head. Dean’s dick twitched at the sight.

Cas grunted and threw his head back, clearly reveling in the feeling of Dean’s touch. More gel fell down his forehead and neck. Dean’s hand tightened in his hair and he tugged lightly. 

“Don’t move unless I say you can,” Dean said, pulling Cas’s head forward.

Ok here’s where the domming begins. Dean LOVES to take care of things. He knows what’s best and he likes knowing that he can do something other than hurt people. He looooves to provide. But, you gotta follow the rules, you gotta do it right. Also dean loves to Look at the Angel. Especially when he’s covered in plant come (see title: i want you smothered want you covered like my wafflehouse hashbrowns)

“You know how I take care of my things. Keep ‘em clean, fine tuned,” Dean said, “Just like Baby.” 

Cas’s eyes widened, nodding in agreement with Dean.

“You like that?” Dean asked, his eyes hooded.

Cas nodded again. His eyes were so beautiful, framed in dark, wet lashes. Fuck– Cas was so beautiful, face flushed, sopping, dripping wet, hair mussed and wrapped around Dean’s fingers. He was looking up at Dean like he was waiting for a miracle to unfold. Dean bit his lip.

“I’m gonna take care of you just like that, okay?” Dean said and tugged on Cas’s hair, finally pulling him closer, “You gonna let me?”

Cas, jaw slack and shoulders relaxed, whispered out, “Of course.”

So the baby comparison lol. This seems to be why people love this fic and i must confess, this is an idea inspired by the issues series by everandanon. In the third installment of the series, cas is watching dean fuss and smile over trinkets from his childhood and cas wants to be something that dean cherishes and covets and keeps tucked away in a similar way. And then they have very very intense sex, you should read that series it’s very good. But reading that was sort of a eureka moment for me like cas wants dean to want to keep him. He wants to be dean’s special guy and he wants dean to care for him like a special treasure. And what possession does dean care for the most? His car. Dean’s car is like a religious idol to him, he worships it. So now cas is hearing that he’s in the same category as dean’s most precious and most reliable possession? He’s finna bust a nut.

Dean ran his hands through Cas’s soapy, wet hair so slow. When you had the opportunity to take care of an angel, you had to do it right. Dean scratched harder when Cas moaned, rubbed softer when Cas moaned. Dean was driving, but Cas was wayfinding. 

Before long, Dean couldn’t pretend that he hadn’t washed every inch of Cas’s head at least three times over. He couldn’t ignore the ache in his groin either, the way his dick pulsed with every little sound Cas made.

Dean also washes baby like this, over and over and he gets aroused by it. Caring for things makes him feel so good, so important. He likes to think he’s the only one who can really take care of the ones he loves in the right way. Doing stuff like this helps him feel that way.

Cas opened his mouth wide to fit as much of Dean as he could in his mouth. Dean’s dick lay on Cas’s tongue, undoubtedly heavy and fat. The wet heat of Cas’s tongue, the tiny movements pressed against the underside of Dean’s dick, had Dean feeling lightheaded. Cas didn’t move, didn’t suck, didn’t bob his head. Dean moved his hand in Cas’s hair again, prompting a long moan from Cas. The vibration of it took the air right from Dean’s lungs and he tugged on Cas’s hair. It was a fuckin’ feedback loop; the more Dean pulled and massaged the more Cas moaned and groaned and the more Dean pulled and his chest heaved. 

“Fuck, angel,” Dean said, “Keep it together.”

The short cockwarming portion of this fic is bc i like to think abt dean having trouble maintaining an erection. But the combination of cas’s mouth and cas doing what he’s told?? He’s got this one. Also this is very fun for cas bc he wants to go to town on that thang so bad but the tension and anticipation of dean telling him what to do just wins over.

“I’m gonna keep drivin’, okay?” Dean said, “Don’t. Don’t move, okay?”

Cas nodded so slightly, barely moving his head, but even that small action had Dean’s balls aching. 

Driving a car is like having sex to dean and vice versa of course. Drivers are the ones in total control and it’s their job to be in charge and keep everyone safe and happy.

Cas’s hands gripped the bottoms of his jeans, and even though that counted as moving, Dean let him have it. Sent a rush through Dean how much Cas liked it, how it made him handsy. When they first got together, Dean was afraid to touch the guy– thought he’d smother and choke him. Imagine if Dean realized ten years ago that Cas wasn’t above breaking any rules, if it meant he’d get to touch Dean. 

Destiel always gets me bc dean thinks he’s gonna hurt everyone but he doesnt realize that cas is a glutton for pain. And well yeah dean hurts cas a lot but cas….. He wants it lmao. Dean’s love IS smothering, it’s like freakin smoke, pervasive and you can really choke on it. But that’s sort of what cas is looking for, something all consuming that he can commit his entire being to. Two guys who love codependence…. well dean doesnt like it per se, but c'est la vie

“Stay with me, sweetheart,” Dean said, “Move your hand.”

“W-Wha–” Cas breathed out.

“On the red thing,” Dean said, slowing his pace on Cas’s dick, “Jerk off the flower for me.”

Purely horny reasoning here. Dean really likes watching cas engage in sexual acts even if theyre not with him (see life skills by ilovehowyouletmefall). Dean has such complicated feelings towards sex. This flower thing is perfect to watch bc it’s like a dick so dean can see his own dick in cas’s hand but ALSO it’s a flower…. Delicate…. It can get really beat up if you’re too rough with it…. Having a gender moment…..

Cas immediately latched onto Dean’s neck, sucking and biting hard. Dean sharply inhaled, his heart hammering in his chest. He reached his hand further into Cas’s pants to cup his balls. Things were so tight, Dean wasn’t sure how he hadn’t busted his load yet. He moved his hand back to Cas’s dick and squeezed hard again. Cas moaned into his neck and bit at the at bend of Dean’s jaw, licking and sucking like his life depended on it. His hand still worked hard at the plant, bruising its red flesh. Dean didn’t think Cas would be able to reuse this particular bloom again. The ridges were crumpled and the whole thing was falling apart. Cas shook under Dean’s hands.

Dean likes to be KISSED and LATCHED onto…. Mommy moment….  And he likes that cas is fucking the flower up, losing control (this is a thing for me, i love when cas loses control with dean)

“Come on,” Dean whispered into Cas’s ear, nipping at the lobe, “I got you.”

Cas moaned Dean’s name. The sound was almost a sob, but Dean couldn’t see his face to be sure. Dean squeezed Cas’s dick harder, back to that same crushing pressure. Dean’s hand was starting to chafe, but he didn’t want to let go of Cas to get more gel, didn’t want to stop touching him, didn’t want to stop hearing him cry out and tremble. 

This is a thing for them both. Dean HAS cas. Like cas belongs to dean meaning dean is gonna take care of him and dean is gonna make sure that it’s gonna be okay even when things seem overwhelming.

Cas’s arms immediately wrapped Dean and he pressed their lips into a crushing kiss. Dean let him have his way, opening his mouth wide. He rubbed Cas’s back, up and down, up and down, all soft and shit. Every time it got intense, they always made sure to follow it up with the soft shit. Turned Cas into angelic pudding every time. 

It’s not “aftercare” (it is) but dean doesn’t know bdsm rules. They have never negotiated a kink onnce in their lives. They just know it feels nice to be sweet on each other. :)

Dinner was great, as it always was when Dean had any control over it. He made something for everyone, letting the pride wash over him as everyone smiled into their plates, getting up from the table with full bellies. Even though Sam always gave Dean shit for unbuckling his belt at dinner, Dean caught him doing the same fuckin’ shit. It was good.

Everybody helped clear the table, but somehow Sam and Dean got stuck doin’ dishes, Cas and Eileen making themselves conveniently scarce when the time came. Secretly, Dean was pretty okay with that. Reminded him of all the small and simple moments they used to have, between all the bullshit. 

Dean’s rose colored glasses on the past lmao. Also dean believes he knows what everyone wants and it only gets worse when he’s right.

“Yeah, but you tell her you were jerkin’ it with, Cas?”

“Dean!” Sam almost dropped the plate in his hands.

“Hey, I don’t have any problems with it!” Dean shrugged, biting the inside of his mouth to keep from laughing, “But maybe Eileen might not like you fondling some aka pooki plant with my man.”

Dean thinks it’s funny bc obviously sam knows the optics of the situation. If dean had walked in on cas giving sam a demonstration he would have no reacted so well imo. Ive written a smubble where sam and dean share cas, but that is something i think works best in a pre season 9 world.

“Now you’re being racist,” Sam said. “Oh, now I can’t call out my brother when he plays slippery pickle with a guy I’m fucking,” Dean said, rolling his eyes, “Because of woke.”

absolutely ridiculous of me but i love thinking about dean as a sort of modern archie bunker type character. he knows the whole thing is ridiculous here but he loves to push sam's buttons lol

[n3onstroke]

HURT: a sans au x female oc fanfic.

author ramble: noel is the mc, third person bc i can’t write in anything else, noel is a fucking simp for error but i can’t blame her, that man is sexy ong, BISEXUAL MC YES GOD, noel has a gender crisis idk, she uses she/her for now tho, lots LOTS of cursing like noel has no filter, mainly bad sans but i might toss ink and a couple others in there idk, she’s a monster, MC is NOT human 😅😅, zombie mc YESSSS, mc is sick of everyone’s dumbass questions, physical illness suffering mc, mc has OP magic, mc used to be human but shhhhhh 😵‍💫🤫🤫, mc has non-binary shape-shifting older sibling 🤗🤗, lots of trauma, sarcastic and passive agressive mc, she’s a likin park fan, schizophrenic mc, fucking batshit mentally ill crazy mc undercover, gore, light body horror, bad flirting, too many puns go away, humour, eventual romance, mc fucking loves baking, mc loves cheese and diet coke, neol fucks around and finds out, W’s in the chat, FUCK IT INKS A LOVE INTREST TOO, Noel does NOT like ink at the start, error loves that, bottom mc on my soul she is, tsundere mc??, she’s korean and so is her older sibling, english is not her first language, google translate, she’s so sexy, asexual / not really into / considering sex oc?? asexual (????) i don’t even know, the furthest i’ll probably write is making out / a little touching but that’s it, HYPERSEXUAL older sibling lol, dust and nightmare know korean, noel when dust speaks korean: 🤭🤭😵‍💫😵‍💫😣, noel when nightmare speaks korean: 💀💀😒😒🙂‍↔️🤨, is my error bias showing with this or no, noel is a type 1 diabetic, she’s also lactose intolerant but loves cheese idk, she also is fucking addicted to chai drinks, chronic insomina, like it’s so bad this bitch is CHUGGING nightquil while dream’s and nightmares powers don’t do SHIT. possesive everyone besides Noel because she isn’t crazy (lie), yanderes?? yeah probably, oh my god this is so long, killer being her number one opp (also a massive flirt), nightmare being an asshole for like…99% percent of the time, dust just being husband material, horror force feeding her idk, cross being husband material too (i love him holy shit he’s so FINE GAWDDD), error being a little shit and making noel lose her shit, kind of ooc error because im crazy about them, all the skellies use he/him fuck u, i’m fucking in love with error, the brainrot help, mc hates this shit, mc sleeps with stuffed animals, mc loves horror movies, mc is actually really smart, ERROR HAS FIVE TONGUES HOLY SHIT!!!, NOEL PULLS ALL THE BITCHES ON ACCIDENT????

GENERAL RAMBLE: INTRODUCTION CHAPTER, CURRENT PROGRESS 0/45 CHAPTERS.

TW FOR ENTIRE STORY, BUT CHAPTERS WILL HAVE THEIR SEPREATE TW’s!!!

PLAYLIST:

POCKETFUL OF SUNSHINE

BY NATASHA BEDINGFUL

HELL YEAH

BY JULEZ SANTANA, AUGUST ALSINA

PITBULL TERRIER

BY DIE ANTWOOD

LOCKJAW

BY SIR-MIX-ALOT

USE YOUR HEART- INTERLUDE

BY SWV

ANIMAL ATTRACTION

BY SHE WANTS REVENGE

MONOLITH

BY TWIN TRIBES

WHY’S EVERYBODY ALWAYS PICKING ON ME

BY BLOODHOUND GANG

THE MEAT GRINDER

BY JAPANESECOFFEE

BROWN SHUGA

BY SIR-MIX-ALOT

FARBEN (ALARM MIX)

BY ORANGE SECTOR

LIVING DEAD GIRL

BY ROB ZOMBIE

TRON CAT

BY TYLER THE CREATOR

SERIAL KILLER

BY SLAYYYTER

GOTTASADAE

BY BEWHY

YOU ARE ALSO LIKE ME

BY NASTYONA

CREEP

BY RADIOHEAD

LEAVING TONIGHT

BY THE NEIGHBOORHOOD

NO MORE

FREDDIE DREDD

ICH WILL

BY RAMMSTEIN

HOLY DIVER

BY KILLSWITCH ENGAGE

FLATLINE

BY JUSTIN BIEBER

CARRION

BY FIONA APPLE

WALTZ (BETTER THEN FINE)

BY FIONA APPLE

GET HIM BACK

BY FIONA APPLE

GIVEN UP

BY LIKIN PARK

THE DEVIL IN I

BY SLIPKNOT

POINTS OF AUTHORITY

BY LIKIN PARK

WITH YOU

BY LIKIN PARK

NIGHTMARE

BY AVENGED SEVENFOLD

BURRIED ALIVE

BY AVENGED SEVENFOLD

DIVA

BY BEYONCE

SONG 2

BY BLUR

TAKE A LOOK AROUND

BY LIMP BIZKIT

PARANOID ANDROID

BY RADIOHEAD

HAND ME MY SHOVEL, I’M GOING IN!

BY WILL WOOD AND THE TAPEWORMS

RAH TAH TAH

BY TYLER THE CREATOR

JUST

BY RADIOHEAD

AESTHETIC:

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