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darlingdekarios · 2 years ago

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good enough to eat.

rating: explicit. 18+ only. length: 2,116 content: Jax Teller x f!reader, established relationship, smut [receiving fingering, unprotected p in v], kink(s) [spit as lube, breeding]

when Jax is starving, there's no waiting.

When your partner returned from a daytime ride you were busy with the final preparations of dinner, setting the table for yourselves and your parents who would be joining you for the first time. His boots against the hard wood signified he’d found you in the dining room setting the table before they paused, his large frame pausing to lean against the door frame and soak in the pretty little dress and red panty hose you’d worn today.

“Call your parents and cancel,” he instructed, and if it were anyone else his demanding tone would have been enough to set you off. From Jax, however, it had only ever felt right to listen to him. Even still, this wasn’t exactly the kind of notice you gave when cancelling plans.

“What?” You questioned, turning to face him with a puzzled look on your face. Jax nearly groaned at the sight of you in red lipstick. “Is something wrong? Did something happen while you were out?”

He walked toward you then, trapping you between the table and himself with hands grasping both of your hips to encourage you to sit on the surface. His blue eyes shining with something mischievous and hungry he shook his head, hands leaving you to rest on either side of your waist on the table. “Had a good ride, nothin’ went wrong,” he replied, eyes dragging down your body slowly. “I woulda come back sooner had I know this is what was waiting for me.”

Before you could interrogate him, he leaned down to capture your lips in a bruising kiss, one of his knees knocking your legs apart so he could step between them. He always kissed you like a man on death row – you supposed he was in a way – and now was no exception, his tongue entering your mouth to kiss you deeply until you were breathless. Your parents were due on your front porch in an hour. Still, you couldn’t help your curiosity.

“If you knew what was waiting for you? Dinner? It's a special dinner, I told you what I was making,” you started as you gasped for normal breaths, his lips trailing a familiar route to your neck where he kissed over your pulse.

“Not the food, I don’t give a shit about that right now. I’m talking about you,” he breathed out, sucking softly on the most sensitive part of your neck, lips molding into a smile against your skin when you gasped. “You look so fucking pretty in this dress setting the dinner after cooking all day. Like a proper little housewife. Where’s Abel?”

“He…he went down for a nap a little bit ago,” you gasped out. It was almost shameful how fast you melted beneath him, how fast his soft lips and rough beard against your neck had you gripping his shoulders. “But my parents…”

“Don’t want to see what I’m about to do to you, sweetheart,” he cooed to silence your whine, his lips brushing lightly against the sensitive spot behind your ear. Even after months of being with Jax you still felt goosebumps break out on your skin when he whispered in your ear. “Don’t care what you tell ‘em, besides not to come. Tell ‘em Abel is sick, or you’re sick, or hell – tell ‘em the truth.”

You definitely weren’t going to tell them the truth, but there was no use attempting to say no to him when he was running the tip of his tongue on the spot, causing a shudder down your spine. “What about dinner, Jax? I worked away all day in that kitchen…”

“Don’t worry, darlin’, I’ll make it up to ya,” he cooed, nipping at the spot before withdrawing to look up into your face again, his nose lightly brushing against your jaw as he went. He tapped your phone on the table beside you to further his point. “I can’t wait hours, I’ve gotta have you right now.”

You picked up your phone with a shaking hand, Jax smiling triumphantly before using one hand departed the table to slide up your thigh, pushing the skirt of your dress higher until it was around your hips. As you managed the number to dial your mother, he stepped backwards to take you in, mouthing “no panties?” to you. You bit at you lip and nodded as a smile broke out across his face, cheeks burning red as the familiar voice answered.

“Hi mom,” you greeted, sounding entirely too normal for Jax. He reached a hand forward, running a finger experimentally over the crotch of your hose that was already soaked with your arousal. He smirked when your voice hitched higher, his finger sliding to connect to your clit. “I’m so s-sorry to do this last minute, but I don’t think you should come over. Abel has been throwing up and is running a fever…y-yeah, I’m sure he’ll be okay…okay I will…okay maybe tomorrow. Love you too, bye.”

His lips connected with yours again as he took the phone from your hand, sliding it down the table to remove any change of distraction. The kiss became desperate, his hunger burning through as he applied more pressure to the kiss, his hand now working his pants down his hips to free his straining cock. Once unencumbered by his pants and underwear he attempted to pull your panty hose down with a tug to the material over your thigh, pulling away from the kiss with a huff when there was no give.

“I don’t have time for this shit,” he snapped, connected both hands to the material and tearing so there was a hole in the crotch area. He bowed his head to connect his lips to your neck again, his fingers swiping through your folds experimentally. He smiled crookedly when you moaned quietly, head falling back to give him better access to your neck. He nibbled at the spot behind your ear before slipping his index finger into your velvet entrance. “So, fucking wet, baby. Bet you could take me with no warmup you’re so soaked.”

You whimpered at his words, sliding a hand to the back of his head and lacing your fingers in his hair to tug his head backward, twisting your head to kiss him desperately again. He gave you a few pumps with his index finger before adding a second, repeating the thrusts and picking up the speed to piston the tips into the spongy spot behind your clit.

“Fuck,” you whined when you released him from the kiss for air, Jax immediately running his eyes over your face to drink in your expression before running them back down your body, watching his fingers disappear into you repeatedly with the most vulgar, wet noises. He removed his hand from your hip to connect that thumb to your clit, expert figure eights combining with his thick fingers to coax you toward oblivion.

“That’s it, baby,” he cooed, nipping at your collar bone gently, smirking when your hips bucked upwards at his praise. “You go ahead and make a mess on my fingers, and I’ll fuck you right here.”

He curled his fingers again, repeating the motion over and over in time with the circles he was rubbing on your clit until your legs were shaking. As much as he loved to watch you gush around him when you orgasmed, he connected his lips to yours again, swallowing the loud cry that came from you as you did exactly that. Your vision blinded by white and senses on overload you hardly noticed his hands leave you, one fisting his cock firmly to give it a few pumps as the other grasped your hip, pulling you to the edge of the table.

When you became barely aware again you felt pre-cum leaking head being rubbed through your truly soaked folds before he dipped into you, slowly sliding inch by inch into your wet heat. He pulled away from the kiss again to watch his cock disappear into you, groaning quietly as he leaned his forehead to your shoulder. You turned your head to kiss behind his ear as he had already done for you several times tonight, a shudder running up his spine as he buried into you to the hilt.

Once he felt the head of his cock bump into your cervix he stilled for a moment, giving you a chance to adjust to him – he was so thick it didn’t matter how many times he’d taken you, there was always a stretch to accommodate him. You wrapped your arms around his neck after encouraging him to raise his head again, your hooded gaze meeting his before you leaned forward to bite at his bottom lip gently, pulling back to signify he could move.

And oh, could he move. Jax Teller had the hips of a god, his thrusts into you slow and sensual and so deliberate, each inch of him massaging your inner walls perfectly. When you released his lip from your teeth to moan and slide one hand to the back of his head, fingers clutching his hair slightly he set the perfect pace, groaning at a feeling that got better every time he had you.

He removed his gaze from your connected cores to look deep into your eyes, releasing a shaky breath. “You are so fucking beautiful,” he panted out between breaths, leaning his forehead against yours. “You’ve been so good lately, taking care of us. Fuck, I’m crazy about you. Who’d you get all pretty for today?”

“You,” you whined out, barely capable of forming a coherent thought let alone words as he found the perfect spot to bump with each thrust. The hand you had on his shoulder gripped harder, your fingernails denting the leather he still wore.

“Say my name,” he groaned out the instruction, one he often had to give as you lost yourself in him. He connected his thumb to your clit again, increasing the challenge knowing full well he was pushing you toward another orgasm and taunting you with the ledge. “Whose pretty fucking housewife are you, baby girl? Tell me that and I’ll think about lettin’ you make a mess on my cock, but not before then.”

You whimpered loudly, pulling his hair slightly to hold his head back so you could connect your gaze with his icy blue eyes, full of so much adoration it was almost sickening. Wanting to only add to it more you nodded, gasping out your words in moans. “’m yours, Jax,” you whined, clutching onto him tighter as you pressed gentle kisses to his lips over and over. “Fuck, I love being yours.”

He practically growled as his motions on your clit quickened, spitting between your bodies to give himself more lubricant to rub faster and faster. He started kissing you gently then, lovingly and soft as his breathing increased, sweat breaking across his brow in concentration. When your legs began to shake slightly he slowed his movements, bumping the tip of his nose against yours lightly. His next words were quiet, serious as he fought to hold off his own release. “Lemme fill you up then,” he asked, though it hardly came out as a question the intent was clear. “Wanna see you pregnant with my baby.”

Your walls clenched around him involuntarily at his words, a silent confirmation if the pornographic moan that fell from your lips wasn’t enough. Suddenly he could move again, and he did so perfectly, coaxing you right back to the edge of release. When your walls began to flutter around him he simply nodded, connecting his lips to yours in a heated kiss as your second orgasm rushed through you. With a few more thrusts of his hips, he spilled his own release into you with a groan, opting to pull away from the kiss to lean his forehead against yours gently.

When you’d both finished and fallen into one another’s arms, faces buried in each other’s neck, you pressed lazy kisses wherever your lips were able, hands rubbing gently in whatever positions they’d landed. When he pulled his head away to look down at your neck, he smiled at the perfect marks he’d managed to leave, the sight almost good enough to make him hard again. Forcing himself to maintain composure he removed himself from you, running his eyes down your body to where your combined releases were dripping from you.

“…can I eat before you take me to bed?”

He questioned, eyes flashing with the mischief that meant he was far from done with you. This new family dinner was certainly something you could adapt to.

masterlist.

#jax teller #sons of anarchy #jax teller x reader #jax teller x you #jax teller smut #jax teller fanfiction #sons of anarchy smut #sons of anarchy fanfiction #charlie hunnam

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mostlysignssomeportents · 6 months ago

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Inkjump Linkdump

For the rest of May, my bestselling solarpunk utopian novel THE LOST CAUSE (2023) is available as a $2.99, DRM-free ebook!

It's the start of a long weekend and I've found myself with a backlog of links, so it's time for another linkdump – the eighteenth in the (occasional) series. Here's the previous installments:

https://pluralistic.net/tag/linkdump/

Kicking off this week's backlog is a piece of epic lawyer-snark, which is something I always love, but what makes this snark total catnip for me is that it's snark about copyfraud: false copyright claims made to censor online speech. Yes please and a second portion, thank you very much!

This starts with the Cola Corporation, a radical LA-based design store that makes lefty t-shirts, stickers and the like. Cola made a t-shirt that remixed the LA Lakers logo to read "Fuck the LAPD." In response, the LAPD's private foundation sent a nonsense copyright takedown letter. Cola's lawyer, Mike Dunford, sent them a chef's-kiss-perfect reply, just two words long: "LOL, no":

https://www.techdirt.com/2024/04/19/apparel-company-gives-perfect-response-to-lapds-nonsense-ip-threat-letter-over-fuck-the-lapd-shirt/

But that's not the lawyer snark I'm writing about today. Dunford also sent a letter to IMG Worldwide, whose lawyers sent the initial threat, demanding an explanation for this outrageous threat, which was – as the physicists say – "not even wrong":

https://www.loweringthebar.net/2024/05/lol-no-explained.html

Every part of the legal threat is dissected here, with lavish, caustic footnotes, mercilessly picking apart the legal defects, including legally actionable copyfraud under DMCA 512(f), which provides for penalties for wrongful copyright threats. To my delight, Dunford cited Lenz here, which is the infamous "Dancing Baby" case that EFF successfully litigated on behalf of Stephanie Lenz, whose video of her adorable (then-)toddler dancing to a few seconds of Prince's "Let's Go Crazy" was censored by Universal Music Group:

https://www.eff.org/cases/lenz-v-universal

Dunford's towering rage is leavened with incredulous demands for explanations: how on Earth could a lawyer knowingly send such a defective, illegal threat? Why shouldn't Dunford seek recovery of his costs from IMG and its client, the LA Police Foundation, for such lawless bullying? It is a sparkling – incandescent, even! – piece of lawyerly writing. If only all legal correspondence was this entertaining! Every 1L should study this.

Meanwhile, Cola has sold out of everything, thanks to that viral "LOL, no." initial response letter. They're taking orders for their next resupply, shipping on June 1. Gotta love that Streisand Effect!

https://www.thecolacorporation.com/

I'm generally skeptical of political activism that takes the form of buying things or refusing to do so. "Voting with your wallet" is a pretty difficult trick to pull off. After all, the people with the thickest wallets get the most votes, and generally, the monopoly party wins. But as the Cola Company's example shows, there's times when shopping can be a political act.

But that's because it's a collective act. Lots of us went and bought stuff from Cola, to send a message to the LAPD about legal bullying. That kind of collective action is hard to pull off, especially when it comes to purchase-decisions. Often, this kind of thing descends into a kind of parody of political action, where you substitute shopping for ideology. This is where Matt Bors's Mr Gotcha comes in: "ooh, you want to make things better, but you bought a product from a tainted company, I guess you're not really sincere, gotcha!"

https://thenib.com/mister-gotcha/

There's a great example of this in Zephyr Teachout's brilliant 2020 book Break 'Em Up: if you miss the pro-union demonstration at the Amazon warehouse because you spent two hours driving around looking for an indie stationer to buy the cardboard to make your protest sign rather than buying it from Amazon, Amazon wins:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/07/29/break-em-up/#break-em-up

So yeah, I'm pretty skeptical of consumerism as a framework for political activism. It's very hard to pull off an effective boycott, especially of a monopolist. But if you can pull it off, well…

Canada is one of the most monopoly-friendly countries in the world. Hell, the Competition Act doesn't even have an "abuse of dominance" standard! That's like a criminal code that doesn't have a section prohibiting "murder." (The Trudeau government has promised to fix this.)

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/editorials/article-an-overhauled-competition-act-will-light-a-fire-in-the-stolid-world-of/

There's stiff competition for Most Guillotineable Canadian Billionaire. There's the entire Irving family, who basically own the province of New Bruinswick:

https://www.canadaland.com/podcast/dynasties-2-the-irvings/

There's Ted Rogers, the trumpy billionaire telecoms monopolist, whose serial acquire-and-loot approach to media has devastated Canadian TV and publishing:

https://www.canadaland.com/podcast/canadaland-725-the-rogers-family-compact/

But then there's Galen Fucking Weston, the nepobaby who inherited the family grocery business (including Loblaw), bought out all his competitors (including Shopper's Drug Mart), and then engaged in a criminal price-fixing conspiracy to rig the price of bread, the most Les-Miz-ass crime imaginable:

https://www.blogto.com/eat_drink/2023/06/what-should-happened-galen-weston-price-fixing/

Weston has made himself the face of the family business, appearing in TV ads in a cardigan to deliver dead-eyed avuncular paeans to his sprawling empire, even as he colludes with competitors to rig the price of his workers' wages:

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-06-12/a-supermarket-billionaire-steps-into-trouble-over-pandemic-wages

For Canadians, Weston is the face of greedflation, the man whose nickle-and-diming knows no shame. This is the man who decided that the discount on nearly-spoiled produce would be slashed from 50% to 30%, who racked up record profits even as his prices skyrocketed.

It's impossible to overstate how loathed Galen Weston is at this moment. There's a very good episode of the excellent new podcast Lately, hosted by Canadian competition expert Vass Bednar and Katrina Onstad that gives you a sense of the national outrage:

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/podcasts/lately/article-boycotting-the-loblawpoly/

All of this has led to a national boycott of Loblaw, kicked off by members of the r/loblawsisoutofcontrol, and it's working. Writing for Jacobin, Jeremy Appel gives us a snapshot of a nation in revolt:

https://jacobin.com/2024/05/loblaw-grocery-price-gouge-boycott/

Appel points out the boycott's problems – there's lots of places, particularly in the north, where Loblaw's is the only game in town, or where the sole competitor is the equally odious Walmart. But he also talks about the beneficial effect the boycott is having for independent grocers and co-ops who deal more fairly with their suppliers and their customers.

He also platforms the boycott's call for a national system of price controls on certain staples. This is something that neoliberal economists despise, and it's always fun to watch them lose their minds when the subject is raised. Meanwhile, economists like Isabella M Weber continue to publish careful research explaining how and why price controls can work, and represent our best weapon against "seller's inflation":

https://scholarworks.umass.edu/econ_workingpaper/343/

Antimonopoly sentiment is having a minute, obviously, and the news comes at you fast. This week, the DoJ filed a lawsuit to break up Ticketmaster/Live Nation, one of the country's most notorious monopolists, who have aroused the ire of every kind of fan, but especially the Swifties (don't fuck with Swifties). In announcing the suit, DoJ Antitrust Division boss Jonathan Kanter coined the term "Ticketmaster tax" to describe the junk fees that Ticketmaster uses to pick all our pockets.

In response, Ticketmaster has mobilized its own Loblaw-like shill army, who insist that all the anti-monopoly activism is misguided populism, and "anti-business." In his BIG newsletter, Matt Stoller tears these claims apart, and provides one of the clearest explanations of how Ticketmaster rips us all off that I've ever seen, leaning heavily on Ticketmaster's own statements to their investors and the business-press:

https://www.thebignewsletter.com/p/antitrust-enforcers-to-break-up-ticketmaster

Ticketmaster has a complicated "flywheel" that it uses to corner the market on live events, mixing low-margin businesses that are deliberately kept unprofitable (to prevent competitors from gaining a foothold) in order to capture the high-margin businesses that are its real prize. All this complexity can make your eyes glaze over, and that's to Ticketmaster's benefit, keeping normies from looking too closely at how this bizarre self-licking ice-cream cone really works.

But for industry insiders, those workings are all too clear. When Rebecca Giblin and I were working on our book Chokepoint Capitalism, we talked to insiders from every corner of the entertainment-industrial complex, and there was always at least one expert who'd go on record about the scams inside everything from news monopolies to streaming video to publishing and the record industry:

https://chokepointcapitalism.com/

The sole exception was Ticketmaster/Live Nation. When we talked to club owners, promoters and other victims of TM's scam, they universally refused to go on the record. They were palpably terrified of retaliation from Ticketmaster's enforcers. They acted like mafia informants seeking witness protection. Not without reason, mind you: back when the TM monopoly was just getting started, Pearl Jam – then one of the most powerful acts in American music – took a stand against them. Ticketmaster destroyed them. That was when TM was a mere hatchling, with a bare fraction of the terrifying power it wields today.

TM is a great example of the problem with boycotts. If a club or an act refuses to work with TM/LN, they're destroyed. If a fan refuses to buy tickets from TM or see a Live Nation show, they basically can't go to any shows. The TM monopoly isn't a problem of bad individual choices – it's a systemic problem that needs a systemic response.

That's what makes antitrust responses so timely. Federal enforcers have wide-ranging powers, and can seek remedies that consumerism can never attain – there's no way a boycott could result in a breakup of Ticketmaster/Live Nation, but a DoJ lawsuit can absolutely get there.

Every federal agency has wide-ranging antimonopoly powers at its disposal. These are laid out very well in Tim Wu's 2020 White House Executive Order on competition, which identifies 72 ways the agencies can act against monopoly without having to wait for Congress:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/08/13/post-bork-era/#manne-down

But of course, the majority of antimonopoly power is vested in the FTC, the agency created to police corporate power. Section 5 of the FTC Act grants the agency the power to act to prevent "unfair and deceptive methods of competition":

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/10/the-courage-to-govern/#whos-in-charge

This clause has lain largely dormant since the Reagan era, but FTC chair Lina Khan has revived it, using it to create muscular privacy rights for Americans, and to ban noncompete agreements that bind American workers to dead-end jobs:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/25/capri-v-tapestry/#aiming-at-dollars-not-men

The FTC's power to ban activity because it's "unfair and deceptive" is exciting, because it promises American internet users a way to solve their problems beyond copyright law. Copyright law is basically the only law that survived the digital transition, even as privacy, labor and consumer protection rights went into hibernation. The last time Congress gave us a federal consumer privacy law was 1988, and it's a law that bans video store clerks from telling the newspapers which VHS cassettes you rented:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Video_Privacy_Protection_Act

That's left internet users desperately trying to contort copyright to solve every problem they have – like someone trying to build a house using nothing but chainsaw. For example, I once found someone impersonating me on a dating site, luring strangers into private spaces. Alarmed, I contacted the dating site, who told me that their only fix for this was for me to file a copyright claim against the impersonator to make them remove the profile photo. Now, that photo was Creative Commons licensed, so any takedown notice would have been a "LOL, no." grade act of copyfraud:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/21/the-internets-original-sin/

The unsuitability of copyright for solving complex labor and privacy problems hasn't stopped people who experience these problems from trying to use copyright to solve them. They've got nothing else, after all.

That's why everyone who's worried about the absolutely legitimate and urgent concerns over AI and labor and privacy has latched onto copyright as the best tool for resolving these questions, despite copyright's total unsuitability for this purpose, and the strong likelihood that this will make these problems worse:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/13/spooky-action-at-a-close-up/#invisible-hand

Enter FTC Chair Lina Khan, who has just announced that her agency will be reviewing AI model training as an "unfair and deceptive method of competition":

https://thehill.com/policy/technology/4682461-ftc-chair-ai-models-could-violate-antitrust-laws/

If the agency can establish this fact, they will have sweeping powers to craft rules prohibiting the destructive and unfair uses of AI, without endangering beneficial activities like scraping, mathematical analysis, and the creation of automated systems that help with everything from adding archival metadata to exonerating wrongly convicted people rotting in prison:

https://hrdag.org/tech-notes/large-language-models-IPNO.html

I love this so much. Khan's announcement accomplishes the seemingly impossible: affirming that there are real problems and insisting that we employ tactics that can actually fix those problems, rather than just doing something because inaction is so frustrating.

That's something we could use a lot more of, especially in platform regulation. The other big tech news about Big Tech last week was the progress of a bill that would repeal Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act at the end of 2025, without any plans to replace it with something else.

Section 230 is the most maligned, least understood internet law, and that's saying something:

https://www.techdirt.com/2020/06/23/hello-youve-been-referred-here-because-youre-wrong-about-section-230-communications-decency-act/

Its critics wrongly accuse the law – which makes internet users liable for bad speech acts, not the platforms that carry that speech – of being a gift to Big Tech. That's totally wrong. Without Section 230, platforms could be named to lawsuits arising from their users' actions. We know how that would play out.

Back in 2018, Congress took a big chunk out of 230 when they passed SESTA/FOSTA, a law that makes platforms liable for any sex trafficking that is facilitated by their platforms. Now, this may sound like a narrowly targeted, beneficial law that aims at a deplorable, unconscionable crime. But here's how it played out: the platforms decided that it was too much trouble to distinguish sex trafficking from any sex-work, including consensual sex work and adjacent activities. The result? Consensual sex-work became infinitely more dangerous and precarious, while trafficking was largely unaffected:

https://www.gao.gov/assets/gao-21-385.pdf

Eliminating 230 would be incredibly reckless under any circumstances, but after the SESTA/FOSTA experience, it's unforgivable. The Big Tech platforms will greet this development by indiscriminately wiping out any kind of controversial speech from marginalized groups (think #MeToo or Black Lives Matter). Meanwhile, the rich and powerful will get a new tool – far more powerful than copyfraud – to make inconvenient speech disappear. The war-criminals, rapists, murderers and rip-off artists who currently make do with bogus copyright claims to "manage their reputations" will be able to use pretextual legal threats to make their critics just disappear:

https://www.qurium.org/forensics/dark-ops-undercovered-episode-i-eliminalia/

In a post-230 world, Cola Corporation's lawyers wouldn't get a chance to reply to the LAPD's bullying lawyers – those lawyers would send their letter to Cola's hosting provider, who would weigh the possibility of being named in a lawsuit against the small-dollar monthly payment they get from Cola, and poof, no more Cola. The legal bullies could do the same for Cola's email provider, their payment processor, their anti-DoS provider.

This week on EFF's Deeplinks blog, I published a piece making the connection between abolishing Section 230 and reinforcing Big Tech monopolies:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2024/05/wanna-make-big-tech-monopolies-even-worse-kill-section-230

The Big Tech platforms really do suck, and the solution to their systemic, persistent moderation failures won't come from making them liable for users' speech. The platforms have correctly assessed that they alone have the legal and moderation staff to do the kinds of mass-deletions of controversial speech that could survive a post-230 world. That's why tech billionaires like Mark Zuckerberg love the idea of getting rid of 230:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/03/facebooks-pitch-congress-section-230-me-not-thee

But for small tech providers – individuals, co-ops, nonprofits and startups that host fediverse servers, standalone group chats and BBSes – a post-230 world is a mass-extinction event. Ever had a friend demand that you take sides in an interpersonal dispute ("if you invite her to the party, I'm not coming!").

Imagine if your refusal to take sides in a dispute among your friends – and their friends, and their friends – could result in you being named to a suit that could cost hundreds of thousands of dollars to settle:

https://www.engine.is/news/primer/section230costs

It's one thing to hope for a more humane internet run by people who want to make hospitable forums for online communities to form. It's another to ask them to take on an uninsurable risk that could result in the loss of their home, their retirement account, and their life's savings.

A post-230 world is one in which Big Tech must delete first and ask questions later. Yes, Big Tech platforms have many sins to answer for, but making them jointly liable for their users' speech will flush out treasure-hunters seeking a quick settlement and a quick buck.

Again, this isn't speculative – it's inevitable. Consider FTX: yes, the disgraced cryptocurrency exchange was a festering hive of fraud – but there's no way that fraud added up to the 23.6 quintillion dollars in claims that have been laid against it:

https://cdn.arstechnica.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/US-v-SBF-Alameda-Research-Victim-Impact-Statement-3-20-2024.pdf

Without 230, Big Tech will shut down anything controversial – and small tech will disappear. It's the worst of all possible worlds, a gift to tech monopolists and the bullies and crooks who have turned our online communities into shooting galleries.

One of the reasons I love working for EFF is our ability to propose technologically informed, sound policy solutions to the very real problems that tech creates, such as our work on interoperability as a way to make it easier for users to escape Big Tech:

https://www.eff.org/interoperablefacebook

Every year, EFF recognizes the best, bravest and brightest contributors to a better internet and a better technological future, with our annual EFF Awards. Nominations just opened for this year's awards – if you know someone who fits the bill, here's the form:

https://www.eff.org/nominations-open-2024-eff-awards

It's nearly time for me to sign off on this weekend's linkdump. For one thing, I have to vacate my backyard hammock, because we've got contractors who need to access the side of the house to install our brand new heat-pump (one of two things I'm purchasing with my last lump-sum book advance – the other is corrective cataract surgery that will give me lifelong, perfect vision).

I've been lusting after a heat-pump for years, and they just keep getting better – though you might not know it, thanks to the fossil-fuel industry disinfo campaign that insists that these unbelievably cool gadgets don't work. This week in Wired, Matt Simon offers a comprehensive debunking of this nonsense, and on the way, explains the nearly magical technology that allows a heat pump to heat a midwestern home in the dead of winter:

https://www.wired.com/story/myth-heat-pumps-cold-weather-freezing-subzero/

As heat pumps become more common, their applications will continue to proliferate. On Bloomberg, Feargus O'Sullivan describes one such application: the Japanese yokushitsu kansouki – a sealed bathroom with its own heat-pump that can perfectly dry all your clothes while you're out at work:

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2024-05-22/laundry-lessons-from-japanese-bathroom-technology

This is amazing stuff – it uses less energy than a clothes-dryer, leaves your clothes wrinkle-free, prevents the rapid deterioration caused by high heat and mechanical agitation, and prevents the microfiber pollution that lowers our air-quality.

This is the most solarpunk thing I've read all week, and it makes me insanely jealous of Japanese people. The second-most solarpunk thing I've read this week came from The New Republic, where Aaron Regunberg and Donald Braman discuss the possibility of using civil asset forfeiture laws – lately expanded to farcical levels by the Supreme Court in Culley – to force the fossil fuel industry to pay for the energy transition:

https://newrepublic.com/article/181721/fossil-fuels-civil-forefeiture-pipeline-climate

They point out that the fossil fuel industry has committed a string of undisputed crimes, including fraud, and that the Supremes' new standard for asset forfeiture could comfortably accommodate state AGs and other enforcers who seek billions from Big Oil on this basis. Of course, Big Oil has more resources to fight civil asset forfeiture than the median disputant in these cases ("a low- or moderate-income person of color [with] a suspected connection to drugs"). But it's an exciting idea!

All right, the heat-pump guys really need me to vacate the hammock, so here's one last quickie for you: Barath Raghavan and Bruce Schneier's new paper, "Seeing Like a Data Structure":

https://www.belfercenter.org/publication/seeing-data-structure

This is a masterful riff on James C Scott's classic Seeing Like a State, and it describes how digitalization forces us into computable categories, and counts the real costs of doing so. It's a gnarly and thoughtful piece, and it's been on my mind continuously since Schneier sent it to me yesterday. Something suitably chewy for you to masticate over the long weekend!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/25/anthology/#lol-no

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aci32 · 4 days ago

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EXODUS/HAVOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey folks, sorry for running two days late but better late than never, here's my 14th and final review of 2024, Exodus and Havok!!!!!!!!!! It had been 9 years since I last saw both those bands, Exodus I last saw April 15, 2015 with Testament at the Phoenix and then I would see Havok 8 months later on December 18, 2015 when they were direct support for Battlecross at The Garrison, and that was my last show at that time. Both bands delivered the goods live and this was a great way to end my 2024 concert season with, so I'm glad I made it count.

Let's begin the festivities!

First band up was Dead Heat!!!! I hadn't heard of these guys before but when I took a look they were crossover and were more in line with Municipal Waste. My friend Derek knew who they were since he saw them open for Municipal Waste earlier in the year in London and he said they were pretty good. They definitely were a pleasant surprise to see as they had great onstage energy and the crowd was definitely having fun enjoying them as I could see circle pits going on during their set.

Next band up was Candy. This band was incredibly boring to watch as their songs sounded like a continuation of their first song, in other words, their songs all sounded the same and it felt like I was about to fall asleep. I call them Candy-Ass given how I found them to be a snorefest, and to my ears, their music tasted like licorice or rockets, had they been good they'd be like my fav Candy in Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. All the more reason to save my energy for the last two bands. I'll also highlight there were posers throwing down in the pit like they were picking up loose change and it's definitely a bad idea to throw down in the pit during the next bands set as their policy states "No Karate in the Pit".

After Candy it was time for HAVOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was my 4th time seeing them and it felt awesome to finally break my 9 year drought. It would've been say 6 and/or 7 years had I gone and seen them on their own headlining shows but I skipped those shows given how both were at The Rockpile or as I call it Crock of Shitpile as I absolutely loathe that venue for a plethora of reasons, plus I was satisfied with having seen their 2014 headlining show at Hard Luck Bar. David Sanchez then said the following in between songs before Hang Em High "Something happened. We released uh, the last song we played called Fear Campaign came out on our record called V. V was released May 1st, 2020. We were supposed to start a tour with Hatebreed the same day it came out. But instead of touring and all of your plans they locked you inside your cage, locked you inside of your house like caged animals *draws boos* for a couple of years. We'd like to dedicate that song to the people that made that happen". Then David Sanchez had encouraged the crowd to buy 17 items from each merch stand to support the bands but then he retracted it by saying "I'll settle for 12 items". Also what was different about the lineup is Reece Scruggs not being in the band since he left to join Machine Head full time and now Brett Rechtfertig is the new lead guitarist also their bassist Nick Schendzilos was absent for a few shows so they got a crew member to fill in on bass and he was awesome. Here's their setlist:

1. Point of No Return

2. Fear Campaign

3. Hang 'Em High

4. Prepare For Attack

5. Death is an Illusion

6. New Eyes

7. Phantom Force

8. Covering Fire

9. From the Cradle to the Grave

After Havok it was time for EXODUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was my 5th time seeing Exodus and first time in 9 years seeing them since they were co-headlining with Testament in which they blew Testament off the stage at that time. It was the first time in 14 years I got to see Exodus headlining as I saw them do it with Rob Dukes at the then MOD Club now Axis Club. This time around it was with Steve "Zetro" Souza and between him and Rob Dukes, I've always liked Zetro more since he's charismatic and engaging onstage, plus I always liked his hard rock vibe about him, although I do admire Rob Dukes' punk vibe to him. Zetro said the following before they got into And Then There Were None "So Toronto it's going to be one of those nights huh? Before we continue, let's go over the guidelines because there are no fucking rules! You guys in the pit, take care of each other, somebody goes down, pick em back up, if they look like they've been hurt a little bit, help em out. You guys wanna crowd surf? We love that shit, but make sure you don't crush anybody's fuckin heads, and these gentlemen right here, make sure that you land safely because you know what Toronto, We're all in this shit together right? Now this is a pretty old school set, we are gonna go to Persona for a couple, but it's pretty much all old shit is that alright with you Toronto? Then let's get back into it *cue him introducing Garh Holt and going into And Then There Were None*. Zetro also made mention of his debut album with Exodus in Pleasures of the Flesh where he declared that he and all of us in the crowd were "fucking Brain Dead", and the most notable banter which had humour in it was "I gotta say, all of the Canadian shows kick fucking ass. I know you don't like the Habs but we were there last night and they were good to us *draws boos* I know, I know, I get it, I'm a hockey guy, I fuckin get it, but I'm saying Canada in general, you motherfuckers got your metal shit fuckin going on" he also paid tribute to Paul Baloff and Rob Dukes when asked which songs he likes to sing. Zetro also made mention of how next year will be 40 years since Bonded by Blood was released and as well had mentioned how they did a lot of crazy shit in the 80s to where Zetro had initially dismissed the idea of Exodus being together for over 40 years. I will definitely highlight Gary Holt's golden high tops which I thought looked cool on him and alongside his purple ESP with the upside down crosses. I was glad I didn't see them with Obituary and on the Bay Area Strikes Back tours in 2017 and 2022 respectively in London because Exodus would've KO'd Obituary and Testament off the stage. Here's their setlist:

1. The Last Act of Defiance

2. Blood In, Blood Out

3. Fabulous Disaster

4. And Then There Were None

5. Body Harvest

6. Prescribing Horror

7. The Beatings Will Continue (Until Morale Improves)

8. Brain Dead

9. Deathamphetamine

10. Blacklist

11. Metal Command

12. War Is My Shepherd

13. The Toxic Waltz (with Spirit of the Radio and Raining Blood intros)

14. Strike of the Beast

Overall an awesome show and a great way for me to conclude my 2024 concert season. I shall return February 24th, 2025 when I catch Septicflesh

HEAVY METAL FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#exodus #havok

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dcviated · 2 years ago

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oh yeah rating time || [ open ]

put ¥ in my ask and my muse will rate your muse on a few things

@hallowleylines sent: ¥ Provence/Dogi, Anvil/Citrine, and Everitt/Malkuth (Feel free to make 'em whole or separate. I'm not your parents :V)

Dogi/Provence

Looks: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 Personality: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 Attraction: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Would they date them: yes | no "Not that I see it happening, but she's a fun gal with a nice body! Bit of an attitude to work around now and then but overall I can say I'd take her out for a drink or fun time. As a fellow messenger, you know she's a fellow fan of the wilderness." Favorite thing about them: "Her tail! Nah, I'm kiddin. Mostly! I do like it! Don't go pointing any crossbows at me... guess her sense of humor? Nice thing to have out in the wilds. Or maybe her shooting skills! Hell I can't pick." He laughs. Least favorite thing about them: "Provence ain't got the best attention span... sometimes feeling like I need to be a babysitter. Alright it's not that bad but with everything else you sure notice it."

Citrine/Anvil

Looks: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 Personality: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 Attraction: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Would they date them: yes | no "Uh, I'm not interested in guys and even if I was- I'm... terrified thinking of what would happen if Kal'tsit found out. No thanks! I don't need to get involved with that she already doesn't seem to like me much as it is! Anvil's a great guy though, she's lucky to have him!" Favorite thing about them: "A great work ethic. He and I can get so much done when we're left alone to work together. You should have seen us making chocolate the other month. I wish someone could have gotten that on film. Anvil's just a great friend. I wish we could be partners all the time." Least favorite thing about them: "Ah... well. That's hard because I'm pretty sure anything I say about them reflects on me too. They stay cooped up in their room or in the forge a lot?"

Malkuth/Current

Looks: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 Personality: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 Attraction: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Would they date them: yes | no "I love going out with him!! Valentines? Oh gosh it was the BEST one I've ever had! We should go out and do something like that again. Hehe~ Wait- you mean date as in- oh, um. Well... sure." Favorite thing about them: "Uhm. Even if they joke around a lot and do lots of things that can be pretty annoying. Current is really reliable. And. I appreciate it a lot that he's willing to listen to me." Least favorite thing about them: "AGH. Like so much else! He's so mean sometimes! I think he stalks me to figure out my weaknesses so he can just mess with them even more. HUFF! But. It's also kind of funny sometimes. I have to admit. So it's not all that bad."

#hallowleylines #inbox :: answered ic #muse :: dogi #muse :: raguna #muse :: malkuth #verse :: arknights #I give you all of them at once #one big bite of content #and buddies #valentines chocothon will be a moment to remember

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honeysuckleharringtons · 2 years ago

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"Family Video" ~ S. Harrington

GIF by @acecroft

Summary: When Steve's daughter, Lori offers to help him close up shop, the two run into a rather pretty customer. Lori is determined to make Steve talk to said pretty customer.

Pairing: Single Dad!Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1,018

Content Warning: mentions of food, honestly i think that's it but as always, lmk if i missed anything!

Genre: v domestic, fatherly Fluff 🥺

Extra Notes: none that i can think of!

Based On: nothing in particular but the idea of a series like this was initially sparked by my read-through of @luveline's "Eddie and Roan" series 🫶🏻

Originally Written: 10/12/2022

Beta Read By: @dungeons-are-too-cold

honeysuckleharringtons main masterlist can be found here!

single dad!steve blurbs masterlist can be found here!

The jingle of the front door bell of Family Video rang loudly, prompting Steve to let out an aggravated sigh.

Normally, it wouldn't have irritated him that much, after all it was his job, but the fact that it was only seven minutes until closing was enough to agitate him beyond comparison.

"Welcome to Family Video," he said, managing to sound much more polite than he felt.

"Daddy!" a high-pitched voice rang throughout the store, accompanied by the pitter-patter of tiny feet.

Steve's agitated expression from before melted away as he squatted down. The tiny girl sprinted toward him, landing directly in his arms.

He left a kiss on her hairline, lifting her up to his chest as her tiny arms wrapped around his neck. "Mwah," he chuckled against her head. "How's my Lori-girl?"

Max followed closely behind the girl, a smile sitting on her lips. "Excited to see you as always," she answered for the child.

Steve slightly pulled away from Lori, his eyebrows raising as he asked, "Did you have fun with Max today?"

"Mhm," she answered, nodding her head with all the power her little body possessed. "She took me to Bradley's and let me pick out whatever snack I wanted."

"Well, wasn't that nice of Max?" he asked, shooting a thankful look toward the redhead. "What'd you pick?"

"Goldfish," she answered matter-of-factly.

"Those are my favorite too! Are you gonna share 'em with Daddy?"

Her lips scrunched as she thought about her answer, eventually nodding in response.

"They're in her bag," Max spoke up, placing the Care Bears themed bag on the counter, "along with a finger painting she did yesterday that finally finished drying and her Scooby-Doo."

"Thank God," he exhaled, "she nearly had a meltdown when she couldn't find it last night."

"Well, I took very good care of him for you last night, Lori," she smiled, kissing the three-year-old on the cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow, sweet girl."

"Bye-bye, Maxi," she grinned back, watching as Max walked out the front door of Family Video.

Steve swung the girl around to his back, piggybacking her around the store as he put away the last of the tapes.

"I wanna help," Lori pouted, her tiny palms digging into the hair that sat near his neck.

He chuckled at her efforts to seem more grown-up, placing a tape in her hands and pointing to its spot on the shelf.

"I thought child labor was banned in the United States," a voice giggled from the end of the aisle.

The two looked in the direction of the voice, their eyes landing on a woman around Steve's age, who was holding a copy of Flashdance in one hand and Footloose in the other.

Steve let out an awkward chuckle, unsure how to respond.

The lady walked closer, a playful smile sitting on her lips. "You know, I'm having a hard time choosing which one I should pick," she said.

A silence came over the room for a beat. Suddenly, the lady's eyes lit up, her expression signaling that a light bulb had gone off in her brain. "I know! Why don't you pick for me, little lady?"

A blush made its way to Lori's cheeks. "Hmmm," she hummed, "That one."

The woman watched as Lori's finger pointed directly at Footloose, prompting her to place the other tape back in its place. "Ring me up?" she asked, directed at Steve.

"Sure thing," he managed, a matching crimson appearing on his own cheeks.

Lori tugged on her father's hair as the three walked over to the checkout counter, signaling that she wanted his attention.

"Hmm?" Steve asked, sitting his daughter down on the counter beside the register.

"Do you think she's pretty, Daddy?"

Steve blushed even harder than he already was. "Lorraine," he scolded, avoiding eye contact with the both of them.

"I think she's pretty," she smiled, turning to look at the woman.

"Thank you," she smiled, her own cheeks heating up. "I think you're pretty too."

Steve continued to scan the movies the lady had placed on the counter, secretly praying his daughter would drop the current conversation.

"Curious minds wanna know: do you think I'm pretty?" the woman asked, internally astonished by her sudden boldness.

His eyes grew wide as he considered his answer. He stayed silent, sliding the tapes into the plastic bag.

He could barely manage a, "Thank you for choosing Family Video," as he slid the bag across the counter to her.

She started her trek toward the door, a pout tugging at her lips. "That's too bad. I think you're quite handsome," she said, lingering near the door.

Steve blushed once more before replying, "I do! Uh, th-think you're pretty, that is," he stuttered as he walked around the counter. "I was just a little flustered. Lori doesn't usually put me on the spot like that."

Lori giggled from her spot on the counter. "I could tell you thought she was pretty, Daddy, so I wanted to make sure you told her before she left."

His lips scrunched as he turned back to his daughter. "You cheeky little girl," he pretended to scold her, burying his face in her tummy and blowing a raspberry.

Lori's shrieks could probably be heard all throughout Hawkins, her silky tufts swaying as she attempted to squirm away from him.

The lady grinned as she watched their interaction, slipping closer to the door.

"Wait!" Steve called, turning back to face her.

"Hmm?" she asked as she stopped mid-step.

"I didn't catch your name," he said, feeling more bold than he had earlier.

"Y/N," she answered with a half-smile. "Thank you for help, Steve."

And with that, she headed out the door, leaving Steve a little shaken up by the whole conversation.

Lori scooted closer to the edge of the counter, pulling herself up onto Steve's back. "You should ask her on a date," she commented. "She's pretty and really sweet."

"You're feeling extra bold today, Lori-girl," was what fell from his lips, but what he really meant was, "I might just take you up on that."

OK, I know this isn't exactly what you guys were expecting me to post today... however, I hope this can be seen as a nice lil peace offering until I do get a chance to post the next Whumptober fic.

I wish I had a good reason I didn't post the next Whumptober fic today. The only reason really is that I ran out of inspiration and put it off until it was too late.

The plan now is to either post it some time over the weekend or double-post on Monday when I post the next next fic.

In the meantime, I hope you guys enjoyed this lil blurb! I am so so so excited for this series and all the ideas I have for it! I hope you guys are just as excited as I am!

-> Taglist: @dungeons-are-too-cold @ducky-is-dead-inside

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faetaiity · 2 years ago

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Gay Panic (ROTTMNT Bros X Reader)

my one braincell came up with this, we’re making POLY GAY FLIRTY READER EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also it’s my first crack at a non-hc fic in a WHILE, be nice pls ;v; ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You sighed, It was currently 10pm at night, you were wandering around the park due to boredom, April wanted you to come out there tonight as she wanted you to meet her Friends, you often refused because you found it unnaturally unfair how attractive her male friends who she LIKED being around were, but sadly, they were always straight or just someone you didn’t like them at all, this often was a sign to April that she probably shouldn’t be around them anymore, to her, you always had a good intuition on how people are, She’s learned this the hard way sadly.

But this time she was BEGGING you, she wanted you to meet them because they were so nice, you ended up giving in, not exactly having high expectations, until you met them

They were just like April said, super sweet and seemed to adore you and April, but there was something that made you nervous; They had on hoodies and refused to let you see their face, you thought it was fine, just weird.

After a while, the one who you Learned was Named Michelangelo, or Mikey started messing with his hoodie, which caused another one, Donnie, to start nitpicking at him until they got into a squabble, April leaned over to you and whispered “All four of them are Brothers, they argue a lot” you laughed and replied “I can see that”

Almost a few seconds later, Mikey had his hood pulled off of him, this caused everyone except you to freeze, you looked at him, he had green scales and a shell, you smiled warmly “You okay there Mikey, is something wrong?” you asked politely, it didn’t bother you that he was a Turtle mutant, you’ve heard about mutants before, hearing awful things about them but, these four seemed nothing but friendly, hell, you even found them attractive.

Everyone seemed to relax at your words, there wasn’t a big freak out from you, that’s good, at least.

They all took their hoodies off, seeing as you completely ignored the mutant part of them, April cheered and said “I knew you five would get along! I told you four he didn’t judge people based on their looks, besides, He’s already seen mayhem!” She started pumping her fist in the air grinning like a happy fool.

The turtles, though relaxed, seemed on edge and started talking amongst themselves, this didn’t bother you that much, you assumed being shown as a mutant without intending to would be similar to being outed as gay, but worse.

You scooted over to April, blushing. “Awww, you like them don’t you?” she teased, wiggling her eyebrows, which made your blush a lot worse.

You were silent, fiddling with your [F/C] hoodie, all the while looking down sadly

“I bet they’re straight, huh?” you mumbled, which seemed to make April’s grin drop

“Hey,,, No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to tease you about that” she said softly “It’s fine” you said, looking up at her

“If it makes you feel any better, they aren’t straight, I’m pretty sure they’re gay but refuse to admit it to anyone” she smiled, you looked over to them, you thought they were cute as all hell, even if they were mutants, ‘which shouldn’t even matter to people’ you thought

“So, what should I do, then? ask ‘em out? Say a shitty pick up line?” you grinned at the last bit, April thought for a second “Depends on which one you wanna ask out” She said, taking a sip of her soda

“All of them.” you replied bluntly, making April spit her drink out, which, in turn, made the boys look over at you two, April waved them off “It’s fine, He just said a joke!” making you silently panic, all four of the boys went back to talking

“You serious about this?” She asked you, one eyebrow raised, you took a second to think before saying a soft “yeah”

“Alright well.... Mikey, Leo, and Raph adore pick up lines, Donnie despises them, Unless you got a good one, I wouldn’t try it” you thought for a second before responding “I got a good one” sending her a grin “Not that one!” she groaned, you’ve used it on one of her Straight friends before, but you did do her a favor because the dude was a massive homophobe, he reacted so badly to it, so she dropped him as a friend.

You pulled your notebook out of your backpack/messenger bag and ripped a few pages from it.

“Whatcha doing?” She inquired, “you’ll see” you said

Once you were done, you got up and walked over to the four brothers, making them look up at you nervously

You swallowed your fears, “Hey, I’m about to leave, But I had to speak to y’all first” you said softly, as if raising any higher would make them run off into the woods like deer.

The four acknowledged you

“Can I ask y’all a question?” Donnie looked at you for a second before nodding

“I love y’all.” you said bluntly, making the four give you a quizzical look

“But... That’s not a question..?” Leo said, you leaned in and replied

“And it never will be”

before slamming the four pages onto the seats they were on

You bolted off as they stood there in stunned silence, April approaching them and saying “They finally worked up enough courage to ask, huh?” she was grinned and shoving her elbow into Donnie’s ribs playfully

“YOU KNEW?!”

The four brothers screamed, their faces bright red.

“Yup, They asked if y’all were gay and they wanted to ask y’all out SO bad, it was so cute how much they were fawning over you four” she giggled

Donnie, Mikey, Leo and Raph picked up a paper each with your phone number on it, blushing wildly.

#rottmnt #rottmnt x reader #rottmnt headcanons #donnie x reader #leo x reader #mikey x reader #raph x reader #fae being a dumbass #donatello #raphael #michelangelo #leonardo #april o'neil #save rottmnt

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siarrawrites · 4 years ago

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Rating Various Star Wars Curses

a guide w much real swearing, inspired by a midnight convo with @kckenobi

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crink/crinking -- what the actual fuck is this supposed to be. Who came up with this??? We’re only a few letters away from ‘crinkled’ or even ‘tinkled’, god. No self respecting Space Adult is going to use this.--- -2/10 pls try again

sithspit-- a classic. can be found everywhere in fic. kind of sounds like you’re hissing, which the sith would probably appreciate actually. (do normal space ppl use this or is it just a jedi thing tho bc most star wars citizens dont seem to know abt the sith???) --- 9/10 very sssssssmooth

holy sith!-- again with the sith?? ok i guess. a pretty good alternative to ‘holy shit’ but lacks the pazzazz of sithspit which is 10x more fun to say ---6/10 reliable but uninspired

frizz/frizzled -- what is this, the magic school-bus? I love Ms. Frizzle with all my heart of course, which is why im disturbed by seeing her name used as an approximation of fucked (it kinda sounds like jizz too which I HATEE). I can maybe see it as a kiddie swear like frick though. ---3/10 what the frizz is this

dwang-- ...kind of strange but you know what I’ll accept it --5/10 haha dwang the rock johnson

e chu ta-- a solid fuck you. definitely sounds like a space language, and has a nice ring to it when said with passion. works for characters ages 9-->999, thank you kiddie anakin for this gem. --10/10, ‘a fine addition to my collection!!’

sleemo-- sounds like the word ‘sleazy’ and for once the real word association does it a favor. You hear this and just KNOW what kind of person it describes. ---8/10 honestly huttese curses can get it

farkled-- ...this is the name of a fucking dice game. also it sounds nasty --0/10 get sued pls

blast-- idk if this is actually a star wars curse or an irl thing, but it absolutely should be. you got BLASTers for cripes sake this shit writes itself -- 10/10 it just makes sense honey

son of a blaster-- ok we get it guns aren’t a thing in space. except they are. sob is great i guess but consider son of a slugthrower boom alliteration plus badass space guns lets go boys ---7/10 alliteration is key

kark/karking-- amazing. inspired. beautiful. I regularly forget this isn’t an actual thing and use it in everyday life. gotta love the hard consonants she is cathartic as kark to use. -- 50/10 she just hits different ok

kriff/kriffing-- basically ‘frick’. Actually sounds like a kid-ification of kark and I just really admire that about her. 10/10 all the cool initiates say kriff

bantha poodoo-- the one that started this whole discussion. listen, this is fine when you’re 9 year old anakin skywalker and say ‘yippee’ unironically but for anyone else this is just embarrassing -- 2/10 ok if you’re baby i guess

skrog/skrogging-- at first I was gonna rate this one low bc it sounds weird and is a synonym for fuck (which just ain’t it). but then I thought about it and realized that if you replace bantha poodoo with bantha skrog you actually have a somewhat decent word for space shit. --- 6/10 we done figured it out boys

snark/snarking-- this is already a real word. why are you stealing actual live words out of the english dictionary sir that’s i l l e g a l --- 0/10 for plagiarism

druk-- a solid replacement for shit, and more serious than skrog (though bantha skrog sounds better than bantha druk imo). gotta love those consonants, and a ‘drukload’ of problems is a phrase that just works. 9/10 will always be there for you

krong-- I just... I dont... know? How i feel abt this. reminds me of king kong donkey kong AND kronk from emperors new groove. maybe thats my own brains fault but also where does this work?? ‘dont krong things up’ just use kark? ‘bantha krong’ just use skrog or druk. In conclusion? --4/10 ok but you can do better

schuta-- we’re branching out folks! finally, a twi’leki curse. she’s catchy and very fun to say, but it does mean slut, and we respect women in this household. If you wanna make a very despicable character say it though it will help make us all want to beat ‘em up :) ---5/10 all women are QUEENS george

vape/vaping-- ... ill give u a pass bc I dont think vaping was a thing when this word was made, but this straight up doesn’t work in the blessed decade of 2020 ---1/10 you’re on thin fucking ice

shab/shabuir-- not to be confused w ‘shebs’ which is just mandalorian booty, this is mandalorian shit. Sounds like a real word, is mandalorian which automatically makes everything 10x more legit, and has that lovely insult variation! ---7/10 truly some shit I can get behind (heh)

vong-- we don’t mention the y**zhan v*ng in this household --- -∞/10 legends can get right tf outta here

shavit-- friends, I had to look this one up to make sure it wasn’t actually a real swear word. I think I’ve picked this one up through osmosis reading fic bc I’ve definitely used this in real life. that’s quality folks. --- 10000+/10, will unironically say this from now on

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KC, I cried laughing at some of these I truly dont know where they come up with this stuff.

there’s a lot more where these came from but i didnt feel like doing all of them, heres the link tho , knock yourselves out

#this got real KARKING long didnt it #sorry not sorry #my first legit post tho!#look at that #took for-fucking-ever #my posts #my stuff #star wars #star wars curses #star wars swears #rating

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shyvioletcat · 4 years ago

Note

ooh holiday rowaelin prompt where they accidentally mix the name labels up at a gift exchange so a scandalous gift is opened by an unintended recipient

Firefighter Friday is back! And it’s holiday themed! Enjoy. And big thanks to Em for helping me on this one.

Striking Matches Masterlist

~~~~~

Aelin locked her door before heading up the hallway to her boyfriend’s apartment. Tonight the Moonbeam twins were holding a little Yulemas party for the team at their apartment and they had very graciously invited Aelin along. It wasn’t anything fancy so she had dressed in a sweater dress and black leggings so she could be comfortable while lounging around.

She didn’t bother knocking before walking into the apartment and caught Rowan just as he was coming out of his bedroom, looking casual but very handsome. Throwing her jacket on his table she waited for her boyfriend of 3 months to greet her.

“Hello you,” he said, walking right up to Aelin, hands going to her hips before kissing her.

Aelin couldn’t help but hum in happiness against his lips. “Hi.”

“You look nice,” Rowan murmured, not breaking the kiss. “I like this colour on you.”

“I thought you would,” Aelin said as she pushed him away. “You ready?”

“Yeah, I just have to get my phone.” Rowan let her go to head back to his room. “Can you grab Lorcan’s present from the table?”

“Sure,” Aelin said unenthusiastically.

Lorcan had ended up being the one who Rowan had to get a gift for in the Secret Santa. In Aelin’s opinion he didn’t deserve a thing, the sullen prick. They were yet to make any sort of connection or progress when it comes to being friends. They were both content about their mutual loathing anyway. Aelin picked up her coat finding two wrapped presents underneath. One was hers she knew, Rowan’s extent of Yulemas decorating was the tiniest of trees on his small table and that was where he put his presents, but she was under strict instructions not to snoop. Putting the jacket on top had disrupted the tags, the two pretty much lying on top of the one present, checking them Aelin found the one for Lorcan on the bottom and moved the other back onto her present before slipping the small box into her bag.

By then Rowan had come back, smiling at her. “Ready?”

Aelin nodded. “Ready.”

~~~~~

Rowan tried, but he couldn’t really help it. Maybe it had been a mistake to ask if he could bring Aelin along, because it turned out he couldn’t pull his attention away from her. He hadn’t been lying when he said she looked good in what she was wearing. If anything, it had been an understatement. The dress she wore was basically a long knitted shirt, hugging her curves softly and in his favourite shade of emerald green. The low V of the neck was modest enough, but just a glimpse of collarbone and neck and he was already gone. Then Aelin went and made it all the worse when she had bent over to put the present under the tree, making sure to catch his eye first. The shirt gaped a little revealing a glimpse of bright red lace. Rowan had swallowed before his eyes darted back up to hers, and she gave him a wink. Gods, this woman would be the death of him.

When Rowan had asked if he could bring Aelin along almost everyone had been on board. The twins had agreed straight away, Vaughan hadn’t cared either way, Gavriel hadn’t minded at all even though their relationship was still a bit odd over him being the estranged father of her cousin. Lorcan had been the one to oppose it. He and Aelin didn’t get along and he reminded everyone that it was a celebration for the team. Fenrys had called him a miserable bastard and told him it was his home and he could invite who he wanted. But Rowan had to admit that Lorcan at least had a bit of a point, Rowan wasn’t paying attention to any of them but her.

Right now she was perched in his lap, Connall gathering the presents together and reading out Lorcan’s name before passing him the present. Rowan was twirling a strand of golden hair around a finger while Aelin chatted to Vaughan, knowing he should watch for Lorcan’s reaction. But as he brushed her hair away from her neck, running his finger along her collarbone, Aelin’s body shivered. He was contemplating if he could get away with kissing her neck when he heard Lorcan say, “This isn’t for me.”

Rowan’s head snapped up, confused at Lorcan’s words. Then he saw what exactly sat in Lorcan’s lap.

“What do you mean it’s not for you?” Fenrys scoffed. “It was addressed to you from Rowan.”

Lorcan only said again, “It’s not for me.”

Rowan felt sick, trying to figure out how this had happened. The presents had been on the table, both wrapped in the same brown paper but clearly labelled, one for his girlfriend and one for Lorcan. Aelin had picked it up… and somehow she must have mixed the cards and now Lorcan had Aelin’s present, looking as if it had burned him. Confused by it all Gavriel peeked over and Rowan just wanted to die right then and there.

“I’m getting another drink,” was Gavriel’s only explanation as he got up and headed to the kitchen, obviously having no desire at all to see how this panned out.

Rowan looked at Lorcan, silently begging him not to make this worse. Lorcan was looking at him like he was just simply asking why, why him?

Aelin’s interest had been piqued. “It’s not very nice to refuse a gift, Lorcan.”

Lorcan just said drily, “I don’t think it’s my size.”

Aelin turned to Rowan, her expression confused. Then she took in Rowan’s panic stricken face and put all the pieces together. “Oh.”

He had been hinting at getting her something particularly risqué for Yulemas, he just never in his wildest imagining thought it would end up in the lap of his boss. “Full stop, I would walk into a burning building right now and not come out,” Rowan admitted.

Then Aelin started grinning, and Rowan knew it was moments before she lost it completely and started laughing. Already her shoulders were starting to shake.

The curiosity was too much for Fenrys and he snatched the box from Lorcan’s lap before Rowan could stop him. He opened the box, his eyes going wide. “Well, this is unexpected.”

Rowan couldn’t stand it anymore, he shifted Aelin off his lap onto the arm of the chair and reached over to grab the gift from Fenrys, but all he succeeded in doing was knocking it out of his hands. Scraps of gold lace landed on the floor. It was Vaughan who poked at it, lifting it with the end of a discarded spoon, just demonstrating how little fabric that was actually there.

Aelin broke, cackling so hard she had to sit on the floor before she fell off her precarious perch. Fenrys joined in, as did the others, all except Lorcan who just looked thoroughly disgusted.

“I don’t need to know what she wears under her clothes,” Lorcan said.

That only succeeded in setting Aelin and Fenrys off again. Both of them lying on the floor, Fenrys holding his stomach as Aelin wiped away tears. Rowan couldn’t handle it anymore, and face burning he picked up the items and put them back in the box then stood awkwardly not knowing what to do with them now. He stepped over a laughing Fenrys as he finally tried to get his breath back, and went to the dining table and stuffed it in Aelin’s bag. Returning to the living room wasn’t an option now, especially when a new raucous round of laughter started. Instead he went to the kitchen where Gavriel had a drink waiting for him.

That was where Aelin eventually found him, sitting on a stool nursing a drink. She pulled the other stool right up next to his so she could lean her chin on his shoulder when she sat down. Rowan took a sip before looking at her, those turquoise eyes still dancing with mischief. He just groaned and looked away.

“Rowan,” Aelin said and kissed his jaw. “Come on, it’s very funny.”

Rowan made a noncommittal sound that made Aelin giggle.

“You’ve still got your present to open, and Vaughan double checked it. It’s definitely not lingerie,” Aelin said, very desperately trying to keep a straight face. It didn’t work, within seconds she was beaming at him, then tucking her bottom lip under her teeth. Rowan turned away again but Aelin stood, making him spin around to face her. She stepped between his legs, arms loping around his neck. “Come on. After presents we can go home and I can put on whatever you stuffed in my handbag and you can unwrap me.”

“That does sound nice,” Rowan admitted, kissing her once.

“It does, doesn’t it,” Aelin agreed.

“Are you upset about having your Yulemas present spoiled?” Rowan asked as he stood.

Aelin shook her head. “Not at all. It just means now you have to buy me something else.”

Aelin grinned at him, and Rowan grinned right back. He already had a few ideas, things he would make sure they opened alone, the tag with Aelin’s name on it stuck down with as much sticky tape it could handle.

~~~~~

This probably could have used one last edit but I just don’t have time right now.

Tags: @tangledraysofsunshine // @nalgenewhore // @highqueenofelfhame // @galyxsy // @fucking-winchester-trash // @literary-licorice // @http-itsrebecca // @highladysith // @aelinfire-bringer // @soup-that-is-too-hawt // @sleep-and-books // @3am-reading // @but-she-was-aelin-galathynius // @rowaelinforeverworld // @alifletcher2012 // @westofmoon // @tswaney17 // @mydarlingfireheart // @rowansfirebringer // @chocolate-eating-bitch-queen // @vanilla2806 // @fireheart-of-your-dreams // @enquires-state-building // @im-not-rare-im-rarr // @your-high-lady // @mariamuses // @ttakeitbacknoww // @vi0let-femmes // @kindofawalkingpoem // @sleeping-and-books // @armixers-unite // @velarian-trash // @queenofxhearts // @princess-galathynius // @heroesofterrasen // @highladyofstoriesandmusic // @unassumingsodalovesherbooks // @empire-of-wildfire // @brittneym15 // @camerooonchiu // @worldoffae // @mybbyfeyre // @crackedship // @lowhangingtreebranches // @over300books // @yourwhisperingshadows // @thesirenwashere // @pilesofriles // @chemicha // @keshavomit // @sarahbringsoutmygay13 // @wifeofchrishemsworth // @impossiblescissorspeachpaper // @cat5313 // @judelovescardan // @illyrian-velaris // @flowerspringsea // @whitethorn15 // @whiskeybusiness1776 // @notaddictedtoanything // @thereaderandfangirl // @mynewdreamwasyou // @tintinnabulary // @the-regal-warrior // @searchingforbellarke // @queen-of-wings-and-fire // @court-of-fuck-me-daddy // @officialasianbitch // @burningbookz // @viajandosinalas // @chaoticskyy // @fanfictrash3000 // @blueeyes425 // @starseternalnighttriumphant // @bamchickawowow // @thehuntressofmoon // @giorgia-the-trashpanda // @flora-and-fae // @thereaderandfangirl // @illyrian-bookworm // @meltalgel-ig // @gay-book-nerd // @that-odd-puzzle-piece // @i-love-all-books // @in-love-with-caramel-macchiato // @girl-who-reads-the-books // @hizqueen4life // @the-third-me // @queen-of-glass // @belamoonbeam // @bestmelle // @cursebreaker29 // @b00kworm // @superspiritfestival // @aesthetics-11 // @maastrash // @the-last-apprentice // @charincharge // @aelin-queen-of-terrasen // @scarznstars // @absolute-dissapointment // @thesurielships // @df3ndyr // @trinitybailey2003 // @littleboxofthunder // @ladywitchling // @booknerdproblems // @rowaelin-cressworth // @sevenfreckles-for-sevenloves // @rolltide7 // @scandinavianromantic // @tillyrubes10 // @starwarsslytherin // @minaidss // @paytin77 // @jesstargaryenqueen // @anntheintrovert // @starborn-faerie-queen // @loudphantomdragon // @alyx801 // @amandaswallowtail // @louiseleblancdiggory // @abookishfreak // @woollycat22 // @claralady // @perseusannabeth // @fangirlprincess09 // @maddymelv // @sierrareads // @empress-ofbloodshed // @acciowests // @booksbqueen // @rowanwhitethornisbae // @more-espresso-less-depresso-xx /

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btssmutficslovingfan01 · 4 years ago

Text

The Afterparty

Summary: You’ve been a fan of BTS for seven years and counting. When you see them at the GRAMMYs after-party, you’re surprised to find that no one is even going up to talk to them. They’re making a spectacle of them, as the boys lounge lazily on the couches. With sweaty palms, you finally manage to stutter out a “hello,” to Namjoon, the leader of the group. A lot can happen in one night, especially when you’re the only one who makes them feel welcome.

Words: 6.8k

Pairing: BTS x Reader (all members)

Genre: Smut, pwp

Warnings: Gangbang, Vanilla sex, Oral (m & f receiving), spit-roasting, Unprotected Sex, Bad use of condoms (if you have them, use ‘em!), Double Penetration, Sex toys, rope-play, hints at Jungkook getting together with reader, possessive pillow-talk

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Hey guys, I’m a huge fan.” You wave at all the members, feeling immediately small as they say a small “hello” back. It was your first time getting tickets to a huge awards show, much less coming to an afterparty where only the hottest celebrities gather together for one night. You weren’t a celebrity, but at least you were making an effort to talk to them without clout-chasing.

They could tell you were nervous, so Joon speaks to you in a soft voice.

“Hi, it’s always great to meet a fan. How long have you been listening to our music?” You look down, feeling too dizzy to look at him directly in the eyes. You could feel the eyes of jealous onlookers on you as you speak to your favorite artist.

“Seven years. I found out about you guys during the ORUL8,2? Era. I fell in love with your cute grunge band type theme there.” Namjoon, for the first time in a long time, actually blushes at your words. As he rubs his neck, Hoseok and Jin who were sitting next to him gaze at you in bewilderment.

“Yeah, not my greatest era.” His genuine laugh catches everyone off-guard, they thought they weren’t supposed to socialize with anyone.

“I love your songs though, and your lyrics are amazing. Jin, may I just say, Epiphany was so well sung. I even got a tattoo of the lyrics!” You pull your sleeve up to show Jin your tattoo. He exclaims, “Wow.” before setting your arm down. “By the way, when is D-2 gonna come out, Yoongi? The first one was so good. Oh sorry, was I rambling? Oh God, I’m rambling.” You sigh in embarrassment as the members find themselves thinking about how cute you look all self-aware of your surroundings.

“It’s fine. Here, you can sit between Jimin and Yoongi. There’s room on the seat of the couch, since they decided to take the armrests.” You can’t believe you’re between your bias and biaswrecker. Well, you are an OT7 bias, but you were sitting at the hip level between the two men. Who you idolize. 13-year old you is dying.

“So, Yoongi...are you at least bringing back Tony Montana for a studio version?” Jimin says something to him in Korean before shoving him playfully and then Yoongi turns to you, saying,

“Sorry, no spoilers.”

“Okay, I’m not an interviewer or a reporter. You can tell me, honestly, are you fluent in English?” You direct the question to both the boys as they give you cheeky smiles before Jimin leans in and whispers seductively in your ear. “Yes. We all know English but we pretend like we don’t because we’re too lazy to answer stupid questions.” You blush at the close proximity but mostly because it sounded like Jimin was telling you to piss off.

“Wow. You guys are cool. I could never act so well,” You find yourself more at ease with them, locking eyes with Taehyung across on the other couch opposite of you, with Jungkook on his phone and too distracted to notice your silent eye-fucking. You wouldn’t know, you were too oblivious to pick up on his arousal. He wanted you, bad. “Well, I’m gonna head down to the snack table. Anyone want anything?” This time Jungkook looks up, tucking his phone into his pocket before running after you.

“Me too.” His broken English is so cute, as he follows you to the table to find a feast. He licks his lips, in seeing the giant chicken untouched and ready for consumption. Out of the corner of your eye, you see a couple of girls pretending like they’re scrolling through their phones and taking pictures of him. You wish there was a no phone rule or something like that at this afterparty.

You move to his other side, blocking his view from the girls as he obviously looks up at you after grabbing some drinks.

“You take four. I took two. Jin and V on diet.”

“I know your secret. You don’t have to talk in broken English, Jungkook.” He smiles as you call him by his name correctly, you’re sure he’s grateful to you for not prying. Most Americans would get all up in his business.

“Thank you.” He whispers softly as you grab the cups and balance them on a plate.

“For you guys.” You pass out the drinks to the members and immediately Namjoon starts up another conversation with you.

“Is this your first after party?”

“Yeah, but it’s fun. At least it’s memorable for me because I got to meet you guys. Sorry, I’m still a little star struck.” He lets out a chuckle as you take a sip of the champagne.

“You’re handling it pretty well. If I were in your shoes I would’ve freaked out. It’s so cool that you stuck with us for so long.” You shrug, a smirk tugging at your lips as Namjoon takes a sip of his drink as well.

“Not really. You guys are just regular people and I think fans forget that sometimes, it’s easy to forget when you guys dance so in sync and robotically without even thinking.”

“It takes a lot of hard work.” He reassures you.

“So, did you bring your girlfriends?” You mock the interviewers’ questions as Namjoon guffaws. “I’m just kidding. I don’t care, I stan you for your music and your animated personalities, cheers guys.” You clink glasses with them as they take a sip, all eyes on you as you stand among them instead of looking at them like trophies in a glass case. Everyone in the room was watching you, as you interacted with the “Korean act” so naturally.

There was nothing to it, you didn’t care if they were staring anymore. If anything, you felt more welcome standing next to Bangtan.

“So is asking about personal relationships just an American thing?” You cringe thinking about the Ellen show and how she asked inappropriate questions such as “have you ever hooked up with ARMY?” and completely disrespected them. You didn’t want them to get the wrong impression of you from that bad encounter.

“It’s a strange concept but unfortunately yes, it is normalized here. I think you handled it pretty well though, Tae’s reaction was memed when in reality it was completely understandable!” Taehyung looks up from his phone at the mention of his name, staring directly at you once again.

“Why does he keep looking at me like that?”

“I think he wants to talk to you, dear.” Namjoon’s sudden change in demeanor intimidates you. You shake it off as Namjoon pushes you towards the couch where Taehyung is lounging on while Jungkook disappears off to the bathroom.

“H-Hi Tae.” You awkwardly stock over to the couch as the second youngest BTS member eyes you up and down.

“What’s your deal? Do you want a picture, an autograph? I can’t figure you out.” He sounds cold and calculating, despite your thoughts kindling telling you he was a warm and kindhearted person.

“I’ve been honest this entire night. I wanted to drop by and say hi to the group that I’ve been stanning for seven years. Is that suspicious?” He rubs his jaw, gulping the rest of his drink before setting it down on the table next to him. He looked like he was about to eat you alive, and you loved it.

“No. I can tell you’re being sincere. We’re chill. Joon, everything’s chill.”

“Alright, now that that's done, our manager told us to be back in our hotel room in 10. We were supposed to skip the after party as we do in all awards shows but he insisted we make an appearance. That’s why we’re here.” Namjoon rounds the members up and everyone adjusts his pants accordingly as they stand up.

“Oh, you guys are leaving?” You sound hurt, but with Jimin’s warm fingertips suddenly on your cold shoulder, you shudder at the small shock from his touch.

“Sorry, how about we just take a quick picture together? I think you’re one of the coolest fans we’ve met.” You didn’t want this night to end.

The Park Jimin just told you that you’re cool. You felt complete.

After snapping a couple pictures, Jungkook quickly appears by your side, stopping the other members.

“Wait, they’re playing “Cotton Eye-Joe” I wanna dance!” Namjoon rolls his eyes before dismissing him. To your surprise, he asks you to dance (very anxiously at that) and you follow him to the dance floor.

Even if it’s a private event, there are a lot of people in the crowd. You and Jungkook also hold hands so you don’t get separated. Suddenly, everyone forms lines. As the song starts, the crowd starts dancing in sync. You teach Jungkook the moves and just as his curious eyes meet yours, you hear the sound of a bell. They were gonna say toasts.

“That was…” You can’t place your finger on it, but Jungkook looked like he had just seen a ghost. He looked strange. You’ve never seen him give anyone that look. Could he be...Jungshook?

You raise an eyebrow as he suddenly runs back to Namjoon, whispering something in his ear and then going to the other members as well. You’re confused as Namjoon pulls you aside, tapping your shoulder instead of grabbing your hand to follow him. You go to a smaller area blocked off from the crowd.

“Sorry, there were too many cameras around there. I was wondering if you wanted to come with us for the private after-party celebration and have some drinks? We normally go live and then after we turn off the camera we get a little drunk and wild. Plus, Jungkook said he wasn’t ready to let you go just yet.” As he smirks you realize what he just meant. Jungkook was attracted to you?! Either that or he meant it in the most friendly, non-sexual way possible.

“Alright. Um, where are you guys staying by the way?” Namjoon gives you a sexy smirk before leaning and whispering right up against your ear:

“Room 327 on the third floor. That floor is off limits but we’ll let the guards know you’re allowed in there.” You look around before following him out and discreetly making your way to the girls’ bathroom.

“Did you see that bitch parading around the boys like she was their eighth member or something? Pathetic, honestly I gotta give her a C+ for trying. I couldn’t talk to their leader Jimin looking like a trashbag.”

“K, they were literally ogling her. Like you gotta admit, her dress was super cute and her makeup was pretty too.”

“What’s wrong with you G? Are you crushing on her or something? You’ve got to get your eyes checked. She wasn’t even pretty. If anything our boys were uncomfortable.” You open the stall door, washing your hands quickly and quietly ducking out after patting dry. The girls in the restroom make wide big eyes when they realize they just messed with the wrong bitch.

They’re pretending like they were the ones that got invited to the secret BTS party. Losers, they were just sour because Jungkook didn’t even give them the time of day.

You decide to head up to the room after 10 minutes of Namjoon signaling you to get ready and then as soon as you see them leave the party, you sneak up the stairwell. A bulky, tall and surprisingly handsome bodyguard stops you.

He pushes his glasses down to see you, and then lets you through to go join the boys.

You quietly knock on the door to be greeted by a smiling Hobi, and he shushes you before pushing you behind the couch in their suite. The room was so wide and big, different from the hotel room you were staying in for sure.

Within five minutes or so the boys wrap up and then Yoongi leans over and pulls you out of your hiding spot.

“Hey! It’s you, um what’s your name?” Jin scratches his head for an answer. All the members seem a lot more talkative in comparison to earlier. The mood is light and merry.

“Y/N! And bring on the drinks, I’m gonna get tipsy.” The boys chant for you as you chug half a bottle within five seconds, still sober as you burp.

“Cute.” Jungkook laughs as you excuse yourself and take a sip of water to even out the playing field.

⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

“So now that we’re all drunk, how about we play a game of sexual ‘never have I ever’?” Namjoon’s proposal is favored as all of the members murmur words of agreement.

“Sounds good. Okay, I’ll go first. Never have I ever humped a pillow.” You, Jimin, Jungkook, and Hoseok put a finger down at Yoongi’s confession.

“Never have I ever sucked dick.” Hoseok says, immediately spurring you, Jimin, Yoongi, and Namjoon.

“Really Tae? I thought you did.” Jin says, slapping his thigh as he turns bright red.

“No. I never experimented either.”

“Okay...hmm this is hard. Never have I ever been in a threesome.” Everyone puts their fingers down except Jin, who cries in the corner.

“Damn, that’s rough. Okay, never have I ever used lube.” Every man in the room groans as Jimin grins toothily. You found it charming how he managed to sound so cheeky but alluring at the same time.

“Never have I ever been in a romantic relationship that lasted for more than a month,” Namjoon and Yoongi put their fingers down as the other members complain about being too busy. You also put your finger down, biting your lip. “It’s your turn.” He reminds you.

“Um..never have I ever been sexually intimate with a woman.” All of the guys groan as you target them, putting their fingers down at your words.

“Never have I ever been in a gangbang. I had friends who talked about doing the same girl plenty of times in school and shit before we debuted. It was fucking annoying, I just wish I could get it out of the way.”

The room falls silent as you pipe up, clearing your throat before speaking, “Well, why don’t you? There’s one girl here and...ˢᵉᵛᵉⁿ ᵒᶠ ʸᵒᵘ...so I’m just gonna stop talking now.”

Jin breaks the silence with a stupid dad joke, making Hoseok and Jimin fall into a fit of giggles.

“So are we done? There’s no way any of you have been in a gangbang before,” Your voice stands out as all of the boys look at you, half-offended and half-aroused. “Am I the only one here who has actually been in the middle of three or more guys like that?” More accurately, you had a gangbang with two pairs of boys from neighboring schools, so no one ever found out about your promiscuous activities while you were 17.

“And you have? How could we believe you?” Yoongi spits out, sounding more defensive than anyone else in the room.

“I can suck three dicks at the same time. I’m not ashamed of my talents.” Yoongi gives you a harsh, judgemental stare. You’ve seen that look from your peers and teachers way back in high school and your workplace. They are doubting your abilities.

“Joon, why don’t you tell her why you really invited her here tonight?” Namjoon puts his glass on the table before standing up and pulling you towards him, your body lands on his, your head resting on his chest as he wraps his arms around you.

“We like sharing. Tonight, it seemed that Jungkookie took a liking to you. And we agreed, it would be good to get the maknae some pussy, especially since he hasn’t gotten laid in months. We decided you were the perfect candidate.” You gawk as he allows you to drop to your knees, your eyes wide as if you were asking for permission. Joon nods, sitting back down to give you access to his thighs as you crawl between his legs and inhale the wonderful scent of expensive cologne.

“Guys, are you really doing this in the middle of the couch? At least take it to the big bed where we can all see you, geez.” You’re surprised to see Yoongi unwinding on the couch, his dick large and bouncing against his thigh as he rubs the tip and goes back to the base as you’ve seen in porn.

“Jungkook-Ah, come here. You said you can suck three dicks at once, right Y/N?” You nod, wrapping your lips around the head of his cock and feeling Jungkook’s growing bulge through his boxers first before pulling them to the floor and then taking his dick into your mouth as well.

Both men moan as you simultaneously suck them off, your tongue sneaking down to the bases of each individual cock so you could lick them to orgasm. You know simple little tricks can make all the impact.

“Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum if you keep doing that. Shit.” It was strange, hearing curses fall from your favorite idols’ lips. Namjoon’s cock was much longer in comparison to Jungkook’s, but in whatever Jungkook lacked in length, he made up for in thickness. You were having trouble now, breathing heavily as you discard their clothes one by one.

The boys watch you intently as you suck them off, and you’re also equally aware of the men on the couches, who are watching your display of expert cocksucking.

Jimin, Tae, Yoongi, Hoseok and Jin have their hands in their pants or on their boxers as each man strokes himself to the site of you sucking their band members. You liked the taste, since they most likely ate fruits and drank sweet things to make their cum taste good. You can tell how healthy a person is just by the taste of their juices.

You lick your lips with a smack, your eye makeup is smeared and it makes you look like a raccoon before Namjoon grabs a tissue and wipes your eyes off for you.

You smile before peeling off the dress completely to reveal your lingerie. The men watch as you play with your huge breasts in front of them, toying with your bra as if you have trouble taking it off.

“Oh my god, I’m gonna cum.” Jungkook groans as you start working and them again, now taking both cocks into your mouth at the same time and letting them see stars before pinching the tips with your long fake nails.

“Shit.” Namjoon and Jungkook came simultaneously, thanks to you. You smile as Jungkook grabs another tissue and helps wipe the cum off your cheeks and mouth before pressing the softest kiss to your lips. “I hope you’re okay with intimacy. We’re boys with hearts.” Namjoon puts a hand on his chest, signaling the “heart,” on his right side. That also adds onto his clumsy charm, the “God of Destruction” making an impromptu appearance as you make your mark.

“Yes, because your heart is totally on the right side of your chest. Come here, big boy.” You give Namjoon a lingering kiss after breaking from Jungkook and then you turn to the other boys on the couch.

“I wanna taste you.” Suddenly Jimin is kissing down your inner thighs, trailing saliva down your entire leg before kissing back up and staring up at you, just as Jungkook squeezes your boobs.

“I hope you don’t mind. We’re far from being done here.” You groan and close your eyes as pleasure takes you from all sides. Hoseok and Yoongi are circling your navel, joining Jimin in the attack on your clit, while Taehyung and Jin are working on your breasts as Jungkook and Namjoon hold your hair back, allowing the others to get a piece of you. When Yoongi and Hoseok step back, rubbing their naked dicks in their hands you realize everyone in the room is naked, including you. Jimin ripped off your panties and threw them on the floor next to the door while Namjoon took your bra off.

This is the first time you’ve seen all of them naked. They look even better without clothes on, in all honesty.

“Ji—FUCK!” You moan, bucking your hips as Jimin swirls his tongue right between your folds, hitting the perfect spot as you whine like a horny bitch.

“You’re fine sweetheart, just take his tongue. You can take another dick, right?” Before you can process what’s happening, Taehyung is fucking your mouth, his bulge poking the back of your neck uncomfortably. You still enjoy the sensation of being filled, so you don’t mind too much.

“Is everything okay? Thumbs up if you’re good, thumbs down if you feel bad.” Namjoon brings you back to reality as you give him a thumbs up, your heart racing in your ribcage as Tae fucks your face and Jimin eats you out.

Jin, during this whole time, was nowhere to be found. You wondered what he was doing. Maybe he was preparing a surprise for you? Your thoughts fail to wander as Taehyung’s testes slap against your cheeks, hard enough for you to go numb. Your face hurts but the gesture itself was so kinky, you wanted to see it again.

“Tae, slow down, make her feel good first. Jimin, fuck her faster.” Namjoon takes the lead as you lie back, panting heavily as Tae gives you a moment to catch your breath, his cock resting on your chin as you catch your breath, the sensation of Jimin’s lips testing your bundle of nerves as you shudder with an all-too familiar feeling.

You couldn’t believe a BTS member was about to make you cum tonight, for real, and not some drawn-out fantasy like the many lonely nights you spent with your vibrator and dildos at home. You’re so glad all of your friends passed up on this opportunity, according to them BTS were a bunch of “gay kpop dudes,” and “girls,” because they wear makeup like any other celebrity that would appear on camera. You would’ve gone back to your hotel room early to sleep in so you could wake up and go home after an unexciting night of wasted opportunity. You were so happy that this was happening.

At least you shoot your shot, and it actually worked this time.

When you open your eyes, you’re surprised to see that both men have switched positions, this time Taehyung ripping open a condom as your eyes widen, your mouth watering at the sight of his huge dick. You knew he had a big dick from the moment you stanned BTS. Now here it was, in the flesh, ready to enter your hungry, hungry hole. Your pussy tightens immediately at the thought, and you’re soon distracted by Jimin and Hoseok’s actions as they begin peppering your body with hickies. You don’t really mind, it’s not like anyone important is going to see you when you go home. Besides, this is Bangtan for pete’s sake, who the fuck would stop them from leaving marks? You wanted a reminder of this night, since this was just as special to you as it was to them.

Jimin moves his plush lips down to meet yours as Hoseok kisses your weak spot, right on the side of your neck. You giggle from the ticklish feeling of his tongue on your neck, practically melting into the bed as Taehyung rubs his cockhead against your weeping entrance, your pussy already slick wet with arousal as he nudges your legs further apart. His cock is huge, but it’s not ridiculously out of proportion. It fits his body, as a cock should look on a man, naturally. You’re so glad you aren’t a virgin. You remember freaking out after first seeing a dick in an erotic film.

Tae’s cock is far from weird or awkward, it’s actually as pretty and ethereal as the rest of him. You could say the same for the other guys, as their cocks fit their bodies too. It’s just a minute detail, but since you were obsessed with these seven men since forever, you pick up on it. Tae gives you that signature boxy smirk once again as you finish ogling him, making awkward eye contact with the 5’ 10” man as he teasingly slides his cock right up your most sensitive area.

“Cute, you’re so wet, I don’t think I could resist now.” You moan obnoxiously loud as your body convulses from the sheer force of his thighs meeting yours. You whimper out of pain, but as soon as your inner walls adjust to his size, you let out another sinful moan.

“Hobi...Jimin.” You see both men above you as you open your eyes slightly, their cocks hanging in front of your face. You love it, being treated like a whore when in reality you wouldn’t think of even holding hands with a boy. Maybe it’s the Bangtan effect. They’re all hot and they treat you so well, kissing you and checking up on you every few minutes. It’s not like an awkward fanfiction where the characters are mostly silent with prolonged descriptions of sex and wayyy too much background when it’s supposed to be a simple pwp smut.

You personally love reading those things, especially the 10,000 word ones. Now that you’re actually living it, you can see why authors would want to elaborate. The feeling can’t be expressed with dialogue, it’s so much more than that.

You sigh into their cocks as you suck them interchangeably. Both men are entirely fixated on you, watching as you somehow manage to please them while getting brutally fucked by their roughest bandmate. It was impressive, they’ve never seen a girl as talented as you. Maybe that’s because you’re the first girl they’ve ever fucked altogether.

This is a very special day for them indeed, as the city flashes purple outside in celebration of BTS attending the Grammys, the eight of you are trapped in your own little world, exploring each other.

Taehyung finishes fucking you after several minutes, your mouth filled with cum and your face stained white as well. Namjoon gives the two men a serious look before signalling the next pair of boys, Yoongi and Jin. Jin cleans you up first, while Yoongi gets you some water to help you recharge. You don’t know if you can truly get through seven men. Only Tae had penetrated you but you still felt incomplete. This wouldn’t be a true gangbang if you didn’t fuck every man at least once.

Yoongi seems to read your expressions, putting an arm around your shoulder and reassuring you first before moving on.

“You make the last call. We’re all okay with this but the moment you say no, it’s all over. I don’t wanna force you.” You find yourself leaning into a kiss, a gentle but firm kiss planting the first seed of desire on his lips. He can’t back away now.

“Can you bend me over and fuck me from behind? I’ve always had that fantasy in my mind from the time I discovered Yoongi smut fiction.” The other men seem impressed, watching you with drinks in hand as you seduce their second-oldest band member.

“Ahem, just so you remember, I’m here too. I grabbed toys earlier so I can prep you, don’t worry it’s clean.” You wanted to so desperately ask Jin where he got them but you snap yourself out of the little fantasy. You’re just a one night stand to them, you probably won’t see them ever again in person, whether it's in a sexual context or not.

“Mmmm, tie me up while you’re at it, would ya? Fuck, I’m into that kinky shit.” Jin gives you a wicked grin. For the first time, you notice his “jokester” persona has a dark side as well. If luck is on your side then sex will Jin will the perfect way to end this amazing night. A finale for the books, tabloids and magazines would eat it up! But you can’t tell anyone. You probably won’t tell anybody. It’s not like you’re a teenage girl from the hills. You can keep a secret.

“Me too, so are you sure you’re okay with this?” You nod as he finishes tying your arms to your sides, your feet still free in case you have to stretch.

“This is so hot, oh look she’s wet again. Why don’t you fuck her first hyung? We can take turns fucking her with the toy and using our dicks.” Yoongi smirks, drooling a little bit at the thought of you completely helpless at their mercy.

“That’s a perfect idea. Princess, you know what to do if it gets to be too much.” You give him a thumbs up as he pushes the dildo up your second hole, the one in the back. You’ve never had anal sex with a guy before. You’ve also never been tied up. This was a new experience for you, and you were excited that the men of BTS were the ones taking your sexperience to another level.

“Ohhhh, that feels amazing Yoongi.” You close your eyes, resting your head on a pillow as Jimin quickly wipes your sweaty forehead with a moist towelette. You give him a small mutter of “thanks,” before feeling a foreign emptiness in your body. Someone took the dildo out! Just as you were about to freak out, Jin quickly replaces it with his fingers. You watch in awe as they play with your clit like you’re a toy.

Then, you finally feel it, a cock wrapped in a condom, but the condom is so thin it feels like it’s barely there! After adjusting to him, you feel Yoongi slipping in behind you. You let out a scream, Jin pressing a harsh kiss to your lips and shushing you as you handle having two relatively large dicks inside you.

Your body shudders with shock and your muscles are tense as you move ever so slightly, adjusting to their slowing pace as they near their release, both men groaning ever so lewdly in your ears. You receive kisses and grunts of praise as they continue thrusting into you with no end.

“I’m so close, you’re so tight baby, so fucking tight.” Yoongi kisses your neck, biting down and leaving another hickey on an unmarked spot.

“Nggg, I’m coming, shit, fuck your pussy feels so good.” You’re so glad you shaved before you attended the awards show. Your lower body was silky smooth, and it made the experience just that much more pleasurable. Jin definitely appreciates it, as you buck your hips up and slam into his cock. Your inner walls are so stretched that you take all 9 inches of his erect gargantuan cock

“Oh, Jin! Yoongi…!” You moan as Yoongi starts rubbing your clit exactly above where Jin’s cock rests, your body jerking forward as you orgasm immediately. Your toes curl and you instinctively suck on something to mask the moans, much similar to how you used to suck your fingers to bite back a moan or two when you were a teenager still living with your parents.

You were so glad there was no one here to interrupt, it was just you and the seven men you adored so much. “Fuck me harder,” You roll your hips back on Yoongi’s body, as he and Jin readjust so you were on your side again but this time Yoongi loosens the ropes holding your arms down. You kiss him gratefully, quickly finding yourself in the middle of a dick sandwich as both men enter you simultaneously, fucking you at a quick pace.

Your body is numb and the only thing you feel is pleasure. It’s too good to be true, you just know it. “Cum in me. Fuck me hard and fill me up with your seed. I don’t care, just someone–anyone fuuuuckk.” You lewdly throw your head back in pleasure, Yoongi kissing your neck softly as he and Jin seemingly switched places, now with Yoongi in the front and Jin in the back.

“Look at her tits bounce. Oh you look so fucking sexy taking our cocks babe. Wish I could live inside you. I bet you’d love being my little cocksleeve, wouldn’t you?” You couldn’t deny his words, he spoke the truth. If a man such as Jin wanted to fuck you anywhere you would let him. That’s just how life is. You know you couldn’t pass up such an opportunity the moment you decided to strip down in front of them. You could take it, all seven of their cocks at once if they let you.

“Mmmph, I’m cumming Hyung. I wanna fuck her, fuck her forever.” Yoongi’s words only hang heavy in your heart, since you know this is just sex talk. In reality you’d have to leave tomorrow only to never see them again. It was the harsh reality of One Night Stands, one every person hates to go through.

It wasn’t like you didn’t know this would happen, of course you would grow attached to the person you’re fucking. It’s a natural reaction, you just didn’t expect Yoongi to be the emotional one, that’s all.

“Cum with me Yoongz, let’s cum inside her together.” The two let out synchronized moans before releasing their precious juices inside of you. Even though they came, they don’t bother pulling out, remaining in their positions as Yoongi presses his lips against yours in a post-sex daze.

“We did it. We all fucked her.” Jin whispers as your uneven breaths slow down, your racing heart calming down as you come down from your euphoric state. You could see their juices dripping down your thighs and spilling onto the white sheets, your body warm as you squeeze your legs so that your pussy really clamps down on Yoongi’s cock, while Jin’s cock twitches in your ass once more.

“It’s over then…?” Yoongi gives you a mischievous smirk, one you recognize from all his MVs. He has a calming laugh as well, the mood somber and fitting instead of an awkward post-sex shuffle for clothes and food. You suppose this is because the members of BTS have been friends for over ten years now, and they just had a way of understanding each other and lightening the mood just by murmuring to each other about random things.

Both men finally pull out of you, leaving you in your own little pool of sex as you lie atop the lonely king-sized bed, feeling more alone than you ever have. At least, you assume they left when an eerie silence settles into the room filled with a fragrance of musk and cologne and a putrid stench that you could only assume was your own sweat.

It’s funny how all the boys still smelled good even after fucking you like how they did. You missed them, even though they were with you just a moment ago.

“I just realized something, I forgot to ask for your name.” You’re surprised to find Jungkook standing before you, holding a towel and a water bottle.

“Y/N.” You didn’t realize it either, but then again you were too distracted getting fucked by monster cocks.

“That’s a pretty name. I was wondering if you wanted to sleep over here tonight? This is my room and I kinda wanted you to myself anyways so what do you say?” You liked the thought of Jungkook fawning over you, but it was even better now that he’s back so you can stare at him all night long.

“Sure.”

“Good, for a second I thought you were doing to say no. That would’ve been embarrassing considering that I kicked everyone out so I could have you.”

“Nuh-uh, that bed can support five people. We played rock paper scissors just so we could figure out who the heck gets to sleep with you tonight. Y/N, if you’re up for it?” You see a fully dressed Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok at the door, the men filing in as Jimin, Tae, and Jin remain nowhere to be found.

“Of course. Just cuddle me for warmth, it’s super cold in here.” The men take care of you just as you’d asked, Namjoon and Yoongi cuddling you from one side while Jungkook and Hoseok cuddle you from the other. You feel like this is definitely more than just a one night stand.

When the morning comes, you’re still in the big bed, surrounded by sleeping BTS members. You couldn’t believe they were real and waking up here was proof that last night really happened and you weren’t drunk off your ass. You remembered it so vividly, Jimin’s lips, Yoongi’s tongue, Hoseok’s fingers. Everyone touched you one way or another and you got to eat a lot of dick.

It all came with the price of your stamina, though. You weren’t the most active person, so your muscles were a little bit sore from all the extraneous activity. It was worth it, you would definitely go through it again even if it meant you had to limp to work the next day. Speaking of work, you had to go to your office today. You were in town for the concert but you had some business to take care of too. You still had a few hours before you had to leave, though, and your things were still in your room which was on a different floor, thank God you picked the same hotel that BTS was staying in without knowing.

“You need a shower, don’t you?” You’re surprised to find Jungkook awake and ready to carry you to the bathroom. You shyly follow him, heart rate rising as he gives you an adorable bunny-toothed smile. His doe eyes are so wide and filled with sparkles, as usual.

“No sex, right? I don’t think my body can handle another round so soon, although I wouldn’t mind if you bent me over and-” Jungkook’s eyes widen as you start.

“Ah, no. I’m not gonna do anything. I’m respectful. Even if we had amazing sex last night that doesn’t mean you can’t say no. You always have a choice.” You never thought of it that way. You thought it was always a permanent deal, just something everyone agreed on.

“So why did you decide to sleep with me? It’s not like you guys planned this, right?” He nods, as you start washing yourself with the shower curtain half open in case Kook wants to join.

“We didn’t. Well, I didn’t. Everyone was bored and we thought we could find different girls to spend the night with each of us. Obviously, things didn’t go as planned since everyone was too intimidated to approach us so we all narrowed our focus down to you. Argh, I should stop speaking for the whole group. What I meant to say was, I actually liked you from the start. Not because you approached me, but just because you treated me like an old friend. It was refreshing, and really nice to see a confident woman for once.”

“You think I’m confident?” You shut off the water as you begin scrubbing your body with soap.

“Of course, you danced in front of a crowd with me, that kind of thing takes guts. It’s like if I asked my childhood idol to dance with me. You did what others couldn’t. You’re amazing Y/N.” You turn the water back on, moaning as the warm water hits your skin just right. That wasn’t all; you were becoming hornier by the second.

Jungkook must’ve sensed it, since he pounces into the shower, fully naked and displaying everything. You can’t help but drop to your knees, innocently sucking his cock head and kissing his underside down to his balls where the last piece of hair remains. Jungkook’s pale face is flushed a lovely rosy pink as you lick the miniscule hairs, his whines setting you on edge as the water drowns out your noise once and for all.

“Cum on my face, Kook. I wanna taste your juices.” Jungkook lets out a girlish whine as you drive him over the edge with your dirty talk. He thrusts his hips forward, making you gag on his cock and tears well up in your eyes as his cum bubbles in the back of your throat. Seeing you actually covered in his cum is a different story, it activates a side of him he didn’t know he had until now.

“On your feet. I’m gonna bend you over and fuck you loud enough for my bandmates to hear.” Your moans are all that could be heard throughout the vicinity as Jungkook gives it to you good. His cock is swollen red, blood rushing to his face, heart, and lungs as he absolutely ruins you like you wished.

“I don’t think I can walk.” You croak, voice destroyed since he fucked your throat well before.

“You don’t have to. From now on, let me take care of you.” You didn’t have a problem with that, but little did you know that his bandmates had a very different vision for you in the near future.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Dark Ending, hope you enjoyed the story! ♡

#bts x reader #ot7 x reader #btssmut #Smut #mature #smutcentralnet #dark themes #oneshot

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ashiemochi · 3 years ago

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Hi Ashie! I got confused with your and Lyn😭 I wanted to ask you something about a post you've done. You sad you were wating for a laptop and that you would play RE6 and 4 on it. I was wondering, as my laptop is a little old and can't handle games, what brand and characteristics does yours have, if I may ask :3 thank you, and sending you a toon of hugs!!!!!!!😘

hi!! <33 i find it a bit funny that you confused with lynnie and I considering our very opposite themes ngl😭 but, since I don't understand LAPTOP NERD LANGUAGE myself, my brothers helped me around and picked one for me <3

laptop talk below the cut--

My current laptop is a ten-year-old Dell Inspiron 5520, it's not good for gaming like Resi games and it heats up pretty fast by just playing Minecraft 😭 so this type of laptop is not only outdated, but it's only suitable for desk/office work.

My options were an Acer Nitro Gaming Laptop and Asus ROG Strix Gaming Laptop

Here are their characteristics side by side <3

They're almost exactly the same, but ofc the Asus is better due to the hard disk size. Both run games very well (Including GTA V bc that game is one fat and heavy fucker-), you can look up how each run some games from light weight ones to heavy ones (I'm lookin at you GTA V). Meaning, both run Resi games very well and you can see leon's ass in HD <3

Here's games tested in Acer Nitro aaand Asus ROG

In terms of prices, Asus ROG is more expensive ($1,149.99) ((I mean, it glows super pretty and got tons of hard desk space)) but considering its characteristics and how well it runs, it's worth the price <3 It'll last you longer too! Acer Nitro is ($789.99) but I'd definitely recommend Asus ROG ngl sdjkfhsdj

In the end though, I didn't get either of em :') my brother went to buy the Asus ROG buuut it was out of stock </3 cries so he got me an Asus Vivobook 15 X571 (I couldn't find it on amazon 😭)

this chatty guy explains the whole thing better but basically, it's $1,226 and it practically is the same! This video is the same laptop after 3 weeks of daily use and it shows around how the laptop is in SIMPLE 'i don't understand tech language' <3 Personally, I wanted the Asus ROG bc yk, pretty keyboard lights but that's just my inner child loving colours :')

So, yeah! Those were the laptops that I've looked into <3 I hope I helped out a bit! I still don't understand laptops at all much but I'd say go for either Asus ROG or Asus Vivobook! Look for gaming laptops that are around $1,000 and above bc those are the ones that are better and last longer!

Another thrown suggestion is MSI Katana GF66 ($1,289.99 to $1,589.66 depending on the SSD thingie that I almost picked but didn't look too much into because they weren't found in my country </3

#too long wtf #cupid answers

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bigbrotherlouis · 4 years ago

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i’m obsessed with joel farabee and morgan frost and you should be too: a primer

hello! welcome! recently i have become infatuated with morgan frost and joel farabee for a lot of reasons but mostly because of that one post that i spent like twenty minutes searching various blogs for that said “people are freaking out about sexualising hockey players, meanwhile joel farabee is one instagram comment away from telling morgan frost he’d suck him dry.” in my head rent free. hit a girl up if you have the post.

anyway! frosty and beezy:

[hard cut to me whispering “oh my god even their nUMBERS are friends” i’m fine.]

this is more like about vibes and less about facts, so you can google if you want to know more about their, like, bios and stats and stuff that’s not 99% rpf or conjecture. this primer is just the things that make me scream. however, that being said, they do play well on a line together and both are very good players.

joel farabee is american, from new york i believe but his dad is from philly, and falls neatly into the category of BORN TO BE A FLYER. longtime fan, hugely excited to play for the team, brings it up all the time.

morgan frost, from ontario canada, was not.

a real, actual tweet. he tweeted this with his WHOLE chest and then joined the flyers like three years later. i adore it. another real actual tweet i adore:

sweet, sweet joel. he misses his buddies :( no doubt including morgan because they are, by all appearances, obsessed with each other. i’m trying not to keep using the word obsessed in this primer but it’s hard because they are. morgan’s a year older, a first round draft pick in 2017 and joel’s a first round pick in 2018, but they didn’t start playing together until 2019, i believe, because joel played for a college team in boston. side note: he also captained team usa and wore a number 28 in honour of claude giroux and i am absolutely not okay about it.

e! mo! tion! al! incidentally, frosty wears danny briere’s number when he plays for the flyers, which. take from that what you will. iykyk. their NUMBERS are FRIENDS. HERITAGE SOULMATES. joel’s been called up to play on the flyers (and did really well in the playoffs!) but we’re still waitin’ for morgan to come along too but the coaching staff hasn’t recognised the raw power of true love yet so.

at this point, you’re probably saying “sasha shut up about their fucking numbers and talk about why they’re obsessed with each other” but good news! i do not need to do that because the official flyers media has done that for me! (x) i’d recommend watching it because it’s a lot packed into a neat 100 seconds, but notable moments include the voice over saying “joel farabee and morgan frost have found that going at it together has its benefits” within the first thirty seconds. that is a real direct quote. i can’t believe it either. there’s also a lot of light homoerotic bonding over playing chel, them sitting across from each other on their beds, the admission of being ROOMMATES (oh my god they were roommates), this shot of them sitting with their mouths wide open on either side of their dad,

and also joel wearing a hat with a canadian maple leaf on it, despite being from the the united states. wonder where he got that from. please watch the video.

when they’re not playing chel or, you know, going at it together, they’re being horny in each other’s instagram comments. there’s honestly.... so many of these that i can include but we’re just gonna go with my favourites.

when i say i think about this comment on a picture of morgan with isaac ratcliffe, a fellow flyers prospect on a daily basis, i mean it. i’ll be just doing my thing, minding my own business, and MORGAN MAKES ME VENMO HIM JUST TO TALK will pop into my head, completely uninvited. king shit for morgan to do and king shit for joel to admit on social media for the world to see, but joel admitting things he maybe shouldn’t is a running theme.

cool. TOTALLY not flirting or anything.

joel. also both their exhibitionist streaks should be explored in fic more i am JUST sayin.

ok but bee you were lookin. like you can chirp but you were lookin, don’t lie.

when ur in love with ur roommate but ur both hockey players so u can only communicate that love via chirping when he’s with the boys :(

what’s it called when you vibe really well with someone and also live with them and also comment on their shirtlessness and also maybe kiss them on the mouth a little? d... da... dating?? can’t be it.

morgan is a little more composed in the comments and mostly just posts inside jokes i cannot comprehend, or compliments. it’s still cute.

this was on a playoffs pic where joel’s wearing #28 love 2 see it love a supportive boyf always

this one was of joel with a fish he caught and i’m sorry but i did not want it on my phone.

but morgan can’t hide his affection for long. (me, in the distance: TWENTY EIGHT TWENTY EIGHT TWENTY EIGHT!!!!!!!)

there’s more comments but they’re boring and this is long, mostly joel chirping morgan for wearing baseball or football stuff. however! they are also on twitter where they keep each other humble after incredible goals, like bros do,

this is DEFINITELY flirting. like, blatant. it’s like that kind of flirting when you’re thirteen and you don’t know what to do with your body so you just kinda steal your crush’s stuff or insult them because all attention is good attention, right??

but when push comes to shove, beezy is always gonna look out for his boy (because they are in love):

some important pictures of them together, for your pleasure:

this is so DUMB and i love it

friends supporting friends!!!

this is them meeting their hockey dads :) so cute :) joel is promising g that he’ll have morgan back by ten yessir he will be respectful of boundaries and curfew. jake is high fiving morgan on getting some. this is facts i just call em like i see em.

and finally!

is this allowed????? is this allowed???? it’s hard to tell but i’m pretty sure that’s joel on his knees for in front of morgan and i just??? how is that allowed???? it’s been five days and this picture has RUINED me. someone write me an essay to have on my desk by morning, stat.

also v unrelated but here is a video of morgan frost reading, proving he’s the smart one in the relationship. that’s not saying much but, hey! at least there’s proof he can read.

obviously different ships capture people in different ways but there’s something about them to me, personally, that is just so captivating. there’s a lot of potential for different fic vibes, and joel in particular always has a really fun voice to read (and also to write). they definitely have chemistry, they’re pitted against each other so there’s a good-natured rivalry going on, CLOTHES SHARING AND HERITAGE SOULMATE NUMBERS, and, like, they just genuinely seem to enjoy each other. someone PLEASE write more fic for them or by god i’ll have to do it myself.

ok that’s everything for now, i believe. they’re in love and don’t care who knows it and i’m obsessed. (however, i’m also obsessed with joel farabee and andrei svechnikov together, for which i have a one-picture argument for here.)

(p.s. anything not linked i screenshotted myself thank youuu for reading have a good day and remember: morgan makes joel vemno him just to talk 😌)

edit: hello. i wrote this on election night as a way to take off the edge of my nerves and it is not as funny or screechy as i wanted it to be so i’m going to add some now.

#this is a mess but idec #joel farabee #morgan frost #flyers #hockey #hockey bros #farabeefrost #frostbee #idk which one #:)#i should be writing #long post #masterpost #primer #i blame meghan and la entirely

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fuckallthegood0nesweretaken · 4 years ago

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New World CH. Eight

Title: Potential Home

Words: 1891

Warnings: Strong sexual content (P in V sex, spicy kissing, groping), strong language

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New World Masterlist

Daryl Dixon Masterlist

The Walking Dead Masterlist

Masterlist

~~~~~~~

The winter months had passed without any major incidents. No one died, but food was scarce and you were never able to stay in one place for more than a week. It got better as the months got warmer, but it was still rough.

A few weeks had gone by before you and your brothers told the Greene family about the supernatural. It took a lot to convince them, but after a run in with a group of vampires, they believed you.

You and Daryl had also gotten closer, and surprisingly, your slightly overprotective brothers didn’t have a huge problem with it. The two of you were good for each other, and they saw that. Daryl made you happy and that was something not a lot of people got these days.

You had been on the road for a few days since the last house you stayed in was overrun. Lori looked like she was about to pop and you needed to find a place to stay. Going house to house or staying out the open wasn’t becoming an option anymore. So when you came across a prison while hunting with Daryl and Rick, you thought that this could be it.

---

“We found a place,” Rick said when you got back to the group. “It’s a prison.”

“A prison?” Carl asked.

“Yeah. The fences held up and it looks good,” you said. “I think we should go for it. We also got some meat.”

“We’d have to clear it out, but this could be it.”

Everyone agreed, and piled into the cars. You sat with your brothers and daughter, as usual, and off you went. When you got there, Rick cut the fence while you helped fend off walkers as Sam held Adeline close. Once everyone was inside the fence, Daryl and Glenn tied it back together fast. Running along the path, you got to an open space.

“It’s perfect,” Rick breathed as he looked at the prison yard. “If we can shut that gate and prevent more from getting into the yard, we can pick off these walkers.”

“So how do we shut the gate?” Hershel asked.

“I’ll do it. You guys cover me,” Glenn volunteered.

“No,” Maggie said. “It’s a suicide run.”

“I’m the fastest.”

“No. You, Maggie, Beth, and T-Dog draw as many as you can over there. Pull them away from the middle of the yard and pop ‘em through the fence. Daryl, you and [y/n] get up in that tower there. Carol, you’ve gotten to be a pretty good shot, join them. Carl, Dean, and Hershel, you go in that tower. Sam, stay close to Lori and the kids down here. I’ll run for the gate.”

“Be careful, Rick,” you said before running with Daryl and Carol to the tower. Adeline was still wrapped in Sam’s arms, her wide eyes watching as Lori opened the gate for Rick.

Cautiously, you quickly made your way to the top. There were no walkers for you to take out and you were grateful for the small victory. Holding your rifle steady, you aimed the sights at the walkers in the yard. When the group on the ground attracted a fair bit, you opened fire. Carefully, you made every bullet count. You didn’t have a lot of ammo to spare and you knew it.

The sound of gunfire filled the air, the sounds of bodies falling coming soon after. When Rick got to the gate, he kicked a walker out of the way and pulled it shut. You shot one that was sneaking up on him and when he managed to get into the third tower, you let out a sigh of relief.

“He did it!” Carol said.

“Light it up!” Daryl yelled to everyone.

With a stupid grin on your face, you continued shooting down walkers until there were none left in the yard. Once they were all dead for good, you turned to Daryl and kissed him. His free arm went around your waist and you broke apart with a laugh. Carol was looking at the two of you fondly and walked down the tower stairs with a soft smile on her face.

Once she was gone, Daryl pulled you closer to him. His lips met yours hungrily and you let out a small moan as his hand gripped your ass. You set your gun down and he set his crossbow down, pulling you closer to him now with both hands. There was no space between you and you could feel your body heating up. His touch was like fire and you couldn’t get enough of it. When he detached himself from your lips and started making his way down your neck, you keened.

“D-Daryl,” you whimpered.

“Yes?” He said, muffled slightly.

“We’re out in the open. They could still see us.” Your voice cracked.

“Don’t care. Need ta feel ya.”

With that, he dug his fingers into your ass and you jolted, your belly hitting his hard cock. You moaned and Daryl hissed in pleasure. He hiked up your thigh, making it wrap around his waist. You rocked your hips up into him and he responded the same.

“We-we should get back to the group. They’ll worry.” You didn’t want to stop, but you knew you had to.

“Don’t wanna stop.”

“How ‘bout this? We go back to the group and after they go to sleep, I’ll let you fuck me in this tower,” you purred into his ear.

“Fuck,” Daryl groaned. His hips jerked forward at the thought of being able to properly fuck you for the first time in a while.

“Sound good?”

“Sounds perfect.” He kissed you hard once more and pulled himself away. You giggled as he adjusted his straining cock and he lifted an eyebrow at you.

“What’s funny?”

“Nothin’!” You said sweetly. Bending over to grab your gun, Daryl grabbed your clothed pussy and you moaned. Movements stuttering, you gave him a half-assed glare and he smirked cheekily.

“What was that for?” You asked.

“Nothin’,” he said.

“Oh hush.” Daryl laughed and smacked your behind as you walked past him.

“S’go, ‘fore your brothers throw a fit.”

---

After you had taken the prison yard, you made a fire while some others went to get the cars. Everyone was in good spirits and you felt lighter than you had in months. Sitting on a blanket, your family beside you lighthearted, made it hard to wipe the smile off of your face. Daryl was watching the gate and Carol had brought him some food.

Beth had started singing and you saw Daryl coming back, Carol in tow. Rick had come over too. Sitting down behind you, Daryl pulled you and Adeline into his lap and you snuggled close. Closing your eyes and listening to Beth’s and Maggie’s voices, you could feel yourself drifting off to sleep. When Daryl saw that, he gently jostled you awake.

“Don’t forget your promise ta me,” he growled lowly in your ear. You shivered at the hunger in his voice and he pulled you closer.

“Better all turn in,” Rick said. “I’ll take watch over there. Got a big day tomorrow.”

“What do you mean?” You asked.

“Look, I know we’re all exhausted. This was an amazing win. But we gotta push just a little more. Most of the walkers are dressed as guards and prisoners. There’s no civilians.”

“That would mean that the whole prison is secure,” you said.

“Exactly. It could also mean that the supplies may be intact. Food, medicine.”

“Weapons?” Daryl asked.

“That would be outside the prison itself, but no too far away. Wardens office would have the details. This place could be a gold mine.”

“We’re dangerously low on ammo,” Hershel said. “We’d run out before we made a dent.”

“That’s why we have to go in there. Hand to hand,” Rick said. “After all we’ve been through, I know we can handle it. These assholes don’t stand a chance.”

You let out a small laugh and so did Carl. When Rick walked to the tower, Lori followed him. Daryl patted your thigh and you got up, setting a sleeping Adeline next to Sophia on your blanket.

“We’re gonna go to the other tower to keep watch. You can only see so much from the one,” you said. Turning to Carol, you said, “Watch Adeline for me?”

“Alright. Have fun,” Carol said, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Not too much fun,” Dean muttered. Sam hit him in the side and Dean winced before waving his hand.

Daryl scoffed and pulled you by the hand. The walk to the tower was quiet, and you swung your intertwined hands. Once you had climbed the stairs and stepped into the small room, Daryl pushed you up against the door. His hands practically tore your shirt off of your body, your bra going next.

“Haven’t seen these perfect tits in too long,” Daryl groaned. He palmed at your chest and you keened, pushing yourself into him. You pulled him in for a kiss, running your hands up his shirt. He tugged his shirt over his head and threw it in the corner of the room before lifting you up onto the desk. Trailing his lips down your neck and onto your stomach, you whined at the soft touches.

He got to the waistband of your jeans and used his teeth to pry open the button and pull down the zipper. Once you were completely naked, he hungrily looked you over. His gaze was hot and even though he had seen you naked before, it still made you a little embarrassed.

“Can’t believe you’re all mine,” he growled.

Hurriedly taking his own pants off, he closed the gap between the two of you once again. He rutted into you gently, hands caressing every inch of your body. Your head thrown back, Daryl drank in the sight of you.

“What do ya want, babygirl?” He asked you.

“Want you,” you moaned.

“Me? What part of me?”

“Want your cock!”

Daryl smirked at those words and pressed himself closer to you. You cried out at his touch and he took pity on you, lining up his cock and pushing it into you. Letting out a high pitched moan, you scrambled to hold onto Daryl as he set a brutal pace. You knew that neither one of you was going to last long, it had been a couple months since you had last been with each other.

Grabbing his face, you pulled him into a searing kiss. Tongues intertwining, chests heaving, you hit your peak once Daryl started rubbing your clit. You clenched harshly around him and he came inside you a few seconds later. Trying to catch your breath, you moaned when Daryl started mouthing at your neck, hands running up your side. He started moving his hips again and your breath hitched.

“Got another one in there for me?”

---

The next day started early. Dean, Daryl, Rick, Glenn, Maggie, and T-Dog were going to clear out some of the prison. After they got armed and ready, you kissed your brother’s cheek.

“Stay safe,” you said.

“I will.” Dean gave Adeline a kiss and nodded to Sam before walking away with the others. You watched them start to take out the walkers and bit your lip in worry.

#New World #daryl dixon x reader #the walking dead x reader #supernatural x reader #twd #spn #daryl dixon #daryl x reader #reader insert #x reader

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girlofthefandom · 4 years ago

Text

Tales from the smp thoughts and random quotes I enjoy (essentially delayed live blogging) Part 1

I love all these npcs already

“Hurry up camera man!”

Yes! Gladiators! I remember seeing someone say that idea

Just some joes

Porkeous the 7th. Oh no I can see the fan girls now.

Yes! Punch em off!!

“Yeah same.”

“That’s good cause I don’t” “we build a new colosseum every time”

I can’t want to see the names of everyone’s characters. Especially Philz’

Stairs everyone’s worst enemy

Tubbo... sweet child

She disappeared!! Witch craft! Burn the witch!

Tubbo=Jacky (forced off streets)

Fundy=Laggius Maximus (I love this name so much with the spinning)

Please don’t kill both the boys in this fight. But also I’m cheating for Laggius.

Subbin Empire? Subbin to Technoblade!

Go Laggius! This is not going to go well... this is really not going to go well...

No I refuse to root for Jacky. I like Laggius the bit will be funnier later.

I want to know what happened to the last camera guy! Let us know!

Vertical feeling! Heaven forbid! Also look at them insulting TikTok

I love the background music. Feels magical.

A lovely jump

Surprises... well that’s ominous. And wait the first one!

Tower! Towers are always good.

We got our popcorn. Ready to watch this fight.

Laggius is... coming... maybe...

GG Jacky... he hasn’t won yet but gg.

Lava!!!! Hooray! Love us some good lava

Poor Laggius... he was burning too early

And Laggius is still lagging

Why isn’t Jacky burning?? He won???

Knocked unconscious in the lava. What is this a Pokémon game?

GG Jacky.

Nobody needs to know the way around here.

“Almost like a video game” just break that fourth wall right down

Keeps looking at sapnaps character and talking about strong. How sweet. We love some fiancé’s.

Please don’t throw Laggius to the wolves

Jack Manifold = Bartholomew

Phil having to translate. I love it.

Watson = Phil

Good pun. Very good pun.

Nobody likes Punz. Gosh everyone’s so mean

We love Watson. Let’s go Watson.

Bartholomew with the drugs and Watson.

Crazy drunk man with fire resistance

I agree with Watson why did we come to this cousin.

Sapnap in a hole

Also I love the drinking age being 3

Let’s go Watson!!!

Where are my Pom poms? I’ve got a Watson to cheer for.

Execute those architects.

And their first Borns.

Watson! Watson! Watson!

“Welcome to the land of the living Bartholomew.”

I love the slow fight.

Come on Watson shoot em!

Oh no. Oh no. Come on Watson. You’re so close!

Noooooooooo.

Why Bartholomew???? I can’t spell that! I’ve been relying on autocorrect this whole time.

Watson would be so much easier to spell.

Still must go down the stairs.

Speed running life. That’s what I do.

No one dies. Just take them to nurse joy.

Poor Punz being so bullied

Punz=Levi

Levi? Really? Oh well I like the name. He won’t like but I like the name.

Also why does Levi have such a full backstory.

Has weapon hands with a horrible southern accent. I love it.

“Hmmm”

Who is Ol’ Sap?

Sapnap = John

And no creativity apparently.

Laggius had the best name for a gladiator. All the others are too boring.

Why are we beating up BBH

Hannah=Genevieve

Genevieve! I can spell that thanks to old Barbie movies!!

Go Genevieve! Trained her life! I love this woman!

Mostly women upstairs. I love it our fandom is so biased.

“Are you sure about that?”

Darlin? Really that’s not the right word.

Go Genevieve! I probably shouldn’t cheer for her since everyone I’ve cheered for has lost.

But still GO GENEVIEVE!!

Our empire is millions in dept

Let’s step up the battle! Let’s gooooo

“Ayyyyy!!!”

Go Genevieve! Levi hush up with your gills.

Jump in! Splish Splash!

Wait why are we listening to Mario Kart music? Wait I recognize this song.

Go Genevieve!!

YES FINALLY! I PICKED THE WINNER!

Levi hush. You done lost messed up southern boi.

Go Genevieve! I can actually spell your name!

I straight forgot Porkeous the 7ths name for a second and had to check my notes.

Stairs. Woop de doo.

“Pick the most handsome” wow

Ol’ Sap = John as I remember. And he’s sticking with it. Bold man sticking with it.

Ranboo = Ran

Just Ran and it’s just the enderman part of the skin. Haha. Very funny.

BBH = Edward

He went from strange voice to normal(ish) voice

I don’t like Edwards speech pattern. At the very least. Yucky.

John v. Edward letsa go

Go John!

Wait we renaming? This is going to get confusing.

Handsome. Can you two quit flirting (not really keeping going)

Alrighty then Ugly v. Edward

Go Ugly! (Sentence I never expected to type)

The seat thing

And saying king Julien. Sigh.

Just BRB real quick.

Thinking about buying things. Oh he meant ad.

Alright Ad 1/3 let’s go.

No I can’t even open chat to watch them instead of the ad. Boooo.

2/3 let’s get this done!

3/3

Snickers just loading for forever

Alrighty we survived.

And a crown really? Just wants his normal skin back.

Let’s go Ugly!

Bo-at battle! Let’s go!

Please don’t shoot Ugly.

Go Ugly!

“King Are you ok!”

I still hate Edwards speech pattern so much

Please. Just pretend to have a fair fight.

The rabbits???? Cant rabbits swim?

Hooray rabbits! I don’t what purpose they serve but I love them.

Edward or Edwardo? Did I miss something?

Ok it seems both.

Shooting a rabbit? Disowner on you disowner on your cow.

Killing pets reference? The references are so good.

YES UGLY!!!! Thank heavens!

I’m 2/4 for choosing the winner.

I hope ugly keeps on winning

“Colosseum Remote Control”

3 in 1 battle how did they not plan correctly for an even number

Nerds hold cameras you heard it here folks

I don’t want to hear deeper for some of these stories. All I want to see is Genevieves further story. She seems deep.

“Massive pigs growling at us. No offense”

Watson trying to clean the table.

We bringing in the Harmonika.

Harmonika fits the moment.

Yes name him handsome! Haha

Grievous is how I’m spelling that stupid sounding name. But it’s better than John and ugly.

I can’t get over the name Ran.

BE GONE LEVI!

I love Watson having to take care of Bartholomew. Translating for him and waking him up.

Phil just can’t resist playing the dad.

No no stopping just fighting.

Also I love Watson saying break it up. I wish Watson had won.

Genevieve sounds like such a lovely lady and she deserves to win.

As much as I love Grevious I want Genevieve to win.

Sapnap=Grevious good gracious this is hard to follow.

Ran is cool. I’m going to kill over listening to them just saying Ran.

Complicated backstory. Found the main character.

Ran is cool.

Wait this place is going down??? Pardon me???

Three person fight is...

Grevious v. Ran v. Bartholomew

Genevieve v. Jacky

Puns! Let’s go! And of course Levi likes Puns.

Everyone is so mean.

GO GENEVIEVE!

And Watson just babysitting Bartholomew

I’m going to get good at spelling Bartholomew. Because I was horrible at it before.

Empire of women!

Cages=Lava

“Mmm what smells good”

Battle star!!

“Boing Boing Boing”

Water dome?

Water Dome in Lava?

Well he tried zombies/bunnies

Lava in the water sphere?

Only fight at top of fishbowl got it.

GO GENEVIEVE!

Come on girl you’ve got this!

No Genevieve babe please don’t lose.

“The boats going down.” “It’s yelling timber.” “Like that song that hasn’t been made yet.”

Hurry up and die. I love it.

NO GENEVIEVE!!!!!

Do do do do

That was a longer fight. But pretty good.

To the cellars! Not to the cellars!

No! The boat is gone!

That was close.

This feels like a funky Pokémon game.

Jacky is a finalist! Good for him. I’m not cheering for him but good for him.

TRIANGLE FORMATION

Who’s missing? Oh wait it’s Bartholomew

“Intense prison cosmetic surgery”

Rabbits! We love rabbits.

Oh no faceplant mode!

What is even happening?!?!

Thinking creatively.

Just don’t die. What a game.

Cant wait to watch the thinking creatively animatic.

In a boat to avoid floating.

Attack!

Go Ran!

Oh we’re lagging.

Disable the dive mode!

The zombies are a bit much. Oh everyone’s actually fighting.

Rats why weren’t there baby zombies when Watson was going. They even made a Phil reference.

No treaties.

Go Ran! Keep on running away.

I love Ran.

GO RAN! I love Grevious. But GO RAN

Faster Zombies. Zombies go zoom.

Oh Grevious won.

Wait why does Ran have grass and why do they see him again.

Placing more dirt to clean old dirt.

Poor Grevious.

I feel sorry for him now.

Stand on da dirt.

Put the rabbits in the cages!!!!

I cheer for Grevious.

And yes there are many a loser.

Everything is so spicy. As in lava is there.

You can’t kick your fiancé’s future descendent out of the gang.

A full inventory

Watson with the backup button!

Seriously all he can do is be a dad.

OH BOY LAGGIOUS IS BACK!

And he’s here for the picture.

And Watson is (still) bullying him!

Bartholomew is pure trouble.

Ooops. The root beer was on the brain.

Watson! Come get your drunk!

Oh wait he actually did! I love this so much.

Petition for more Phil in Tales.

Only Genevieve voting for Jacky

Some people refusing to vote.

I’m sorry who asked if Laggius is ok.

He is always (not) ok

He is fine. See.

I love Laggius’ character the most.

Go winners!

Reformed kinda. If that doesn’t sum up the whole of the smp.

All the grass in the cage.

And Laggius being his slow self.

Nothing v. General

I love how it went from King to Emperor to King

And there is Laggius.

I don’t know how anyone else is spelling Laggius but I like this way and refuse to edit it if it actually spelled different.

Oh we’re getting more ads.

1/3 let’s go

#tales from the smp #tftsmp #dreamsmp #dsmp #delayed liveblogging

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