#I found it funny though

[meelomb]

I genuienly don't know what possesed me to write this, it started out as a funny story between me and a friend while playing overwatch, but then i had the urge to write the entire thing out, but I'm lazy and didn't want to write it tooo detailed

i might draw it though

maybe a couple other things too

sorry you had to read this

___________________

Cw: Extremely unneeded detailed violence

Twenty years ago, I worked at an ice cream parlor. I was serving this child an ice cream. He wanted a single vanilla scoop with chocolate sauce, sprinkles and toe nails. I didn't question it, I just did it, and when i handed it to him, he said ew and threw it on the floor and left, he didn't even pay, he just left. Even after I spent ten minutes wandering around on the street asking people for their toenails. And then I stood there, wondering to myself "Why would he do that?", and then I thought more and realized I was thinking. I couldn't think so why was I thinking? And that's when it hit me, I'm meant to do something more. So I left. I left and didn't look back, not even as the building was slowly engulfed in flames from the hamburger and fries I had left on the grill and fryer. But I didn't care, I just needed to do something. Along those twenty years I had done all sorts of things, but that's a story for a different time. Now, here I stand in front of that kids house twenty years later with his wife and three kids. I will feed him that ice cream he ordered twenty years ago, and I will take the 3.55 that he owes for it. 

Master, I don't think..

Quiet Genji, I'm doing big things. This is my pupil Genji, he doesn't believe that this actually happened, so I've brought him along. And I couldn't bring Ramattra along because he didn't want to come, which is why I'm facing him at 3 in the morning.

Master, is it really necessary to record this? You're breaking and entering over some ice cream.

Genji be quiet, Ramattra's still not answering we're going to do this without him.

Master wait-

*Zenyatta kicks open the door*

Now, his bedroom is up on the second floor, the third room on the left.

How do you know this!?

I have my ways, let's go.

*They both head towards the room*

 

Master please I don't-

*Zenyatta kicks open the door*

Woah- What the!? Who the hell are you two!?

Greetings. I am Zenyatta. This is Genji, my pupil.

Hi.

What the fuck are you doing in my house!??

Twenty years ago, when you were 12 years old, and you had ordered from Patrick's Ice Cream and Burger Parlor, you ordered an ice cream cone with a single scoop of vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce, sprinkles, and toe nails. I'm here to give you that ice cream.

What the fuck are you saying!? Get out of here before I pull you apart!

*Zenyatta pulls a ice cream cone from his scarf and hands it to the man*

Here, eat this in front of the camera and then I'll leave.

*The man looks at the cone is slight awe and horror*

Wh-where are the nails?

Oh yes, you've just reminded me of that, just give me one second

*He leaves the room leaving Genji alone with the man and his wife*

………………….so how are you feeling

How the fuck do you think I'm feeling!?

It could be worse, he could've forced you to eat it in front of everyone you know.

He what!?

*Zenyatta returns with a pair of nail clippers*

If you would politely remove your footwear and clip your nails please.

*Genji stares at Zenyatta before turning to the man who's frozen in horror while the wife sleeps through this entire ordeal*

You want me to do what!? 

I spent ten minutes looking for toe nails on that day, now you will spend ten minutes cutting your nails so that way I can add it to the ice cream.

Won't the ice cream melt master?

Yes you're right, go put it in the freezer.

*Genji takes the ice cream from the man and leaves the room thankful to not be in the room while this happens*

Now, please wait one moment while I start a timer.

Why the fuck would I ever do this!?

*The man stands up and begins to move towards Zenyatta who promptly pulls a fake gun that shoots orbeez but still looks real and points it at the man*

Because I will shoot if you do not do it.

Woah!- H-hey man take it easy okay, I just, I won't do anything drastic if you don't do anything drastic, okay?

*Zenyatta motions to the pair of clippers abandoned on the bed and the man picks them up*

You have ten minutes to clip all twenty of your nails, after that I will have Genji bring the ice cream back so that I may finish the ice cream for you to eat.

*The man sits on the bed and shakily begins clipping his nails while Zenyatta stares into his head, starting the timer and holding the gun with extreme precision it would put Widowmaker to shame. An agonizing ten minutes pass by and the timer goes off. Zenyatta stares at the man as he drops the clippers and looks at the small pile of nail clippings and he slowly lowers the gun and stops the timer.*

*Downstairs a door is slammed open and frantic running can be heard coming up the stairs, Genji soon appears at the door frame, winded and exhausted from seemingly having to run a long distance*

Why are you sweaty Genji

I..I had to..Run….And get a new…Ice cream…because…I dropped the…old one..

This is why your brother killed you. Now hand me the ice cream

*Genji hands over the ice cream and Zenyatta takes it while grabbing some nail clippings and sprinkling it onto it before handing it to the man while picking up the camera from the floor*

Now just eat this and we'll just be on our way.

…No way, I'm not doing this.

Oh for fucks- Hold this.

*Zenyatta shoves the camera into Genji's hands before grabbing the ice cream and forcefully shoving the ice cream into the man's face who desperately tries to escape his grasp, but in doing so he disturbs his wife in her sleep and wakes her up, and in a daze of half anger and drowsiness and rises from her sleep to see two strangers with one of them screaming obscenities at her husband while shoving something into his throat while another stands there shocked recording it all with a camera and she lets out a scream, startling the one with the camera who sets it down on a nearby dresser and tackles her, attempting to keep her quiet as to not wake anyone else up, but his attempts are futile. Soon two small children appear at the doorway watching this all go down, with their father desperately writing in pain and fear trying to get away from a strange robotic man and their mother being restrained, screaming and crying as their father slowly fades away in the man's arms. Eventually, Zenyatta releases the man who stumbles up and chokes and coughs before Zenyatta picks up the gun and begins shooting at the man, pink orbeez shooting out and striking the man repeatedly before Zenyatta tosses the gun and kicks the man out of the window, shattering the glass as the children and wife watch as their father and husband fall out of the window onto the ground outside.*

Genji, let's go, our job is done here.

Was that really necessary?

He was getting on my nerves. And I wasn't over the fact I spent ten minutes of my life doing something like collecting nails.

*Genji walks over to the dresser and picks up the camera and they both depart from the room and downstairs, Genji leaving a few words of advice to the children as they stand there horrified at the two men who more than likely murdered their father*

Hey wait, what about that 3.55 you were going to take?

Oh right, it completely slipped my mind.

*Zenyatta and Genji spend the next 20 minutes or so looking for a wallet or a source of money in order to take, eventually finding a navy blue wallet with the man's drivers license and other things. He didn't have change at all, so Zenyatta took a twenty from the wallet before tossing it away, the two men leaving the property chatting away until Zenyatta gets a message from someone. It's Ramattra*

:What do you want.:

:I just paid a visit to an old acquaintance of mine. I have a video I would like to share with you if you have the chance.:

:I'm free next week on Monday.:

:Who's free on a Monday.:

:Shut up.:

:I'll see you then.:

*Zenyatta takes the camera and looks through the footage, laughing lightly at it every now and then showing Genji bits and parts he found particularly funny, the two men completely unaware of the red and blue lights approaching the house they had just left from.*

______________

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Trapped in a vicious cycle of pining? Try gay sex! (More things to learn over at Tiger Tiger!)

[oornithologistt]

vultures amirite?

og image below the cut

[outersyourwilds]

At some point in my playthrough of the game, it dawned on me that Feldspar is Old

[titaniumions]

in my mind kakania would have little to no problem accepting the fact that she is into women. however the thought of her being into isolde is something that would absolutely vex her, i think. while they did start off as casual acquaintances and friends, isolde is still her patient, and to some level kakania winds up being responsible for isolde's wellbeing. with that in mind, kakania can hardly fathom the thought of burdening isolde with her feelings, which she feels absolutely selfish for even indulging in. even if those feelings were to be returned, it still wouldn't put kakania's mind at rest. it still wouldn't be enough to get kakania to convince herself that she's fine with feeling this way. ultimately it's not necessarily internalized homophobia nor societal pressure that troubles her, but rather her own ethical and psychological concerns

it'd be even worse for her if those feelings didn't exactly ... go away even after everything that happened in chapter 6. she'd be overwhelmed with guilt, and think to herself that the best course of action would be to distance herself from isolde, but the most painful part is that even after seeing isolde at her worst, she still can't help but want to love isolde. even after kakania herself had presumably tainted isolde's perception of her. so what if that's what was necessary at the moment. after leaving isolde broken and shattered, how could kakania even dare to think she deserves to love isolde? if it once felt horribly wrong for kakania to be in love with her, everything that has transpired between them only served to make it worse!

[lexicog]

fuck it. kuchipatchi grow a flower

[mealfreak]

sketchbook stuff

[ghostsfruit]

My little brother just texted me and I ran to make this

[shepscapades]

Extremely slightly obsessed with the implications of TIES not being in 3rd Life-

Like literally ALL of them were in Dogwarts at one point or another, and I feel like the fact that there were so many of them was kinda what elevated Dogwarts to be as powerful as it was. So either people who weren't part of Dogwarts initially were a part of it in dbhc or they weren't NEARLY as much of a threat to the other factions as they were in canon.

The Crastle Alliance as well involved Impulse and Tango, so they're also cut in half in dbhc (which kinda makes me ponder a world in which Dogwarts and the Crastle fused into a single faction 👀)

Jimmy wouldn't have lost his life in Dare to Flare but honestly he'd've prolly lost it anyways to something else so that's not too much of a difference XD

There's probably also more butterfly effect stuff that I've missed by not watching TIES' povs but I am very interested in seeing what you have in mind (if you ever choose to expand on it in the future). I'm very curious how the clock plays into it...

(Also as an added ponderance, I can't help but wonder if Etho Hopper Clocks have another name in this universe since Etho wasn't alive to make them (or, for the funny route, if Etho was named after the clock instead of the other way around XD)

HM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s crazy that you would say all of those things in that order (i’m making really big eyes at you and nodding furiously. You’re following the exact train of thought that started this immensely deep rabbit hole)

[hood-ex]

I just remembered that when Dick was in the circus and shared a bunk bed with a performer named Tombo, he was so bothered by Tombo's snoring that he decided he was going to go sleep in a tree.

Nightwing (Vol. 4) #8

[meiloorunsmoothie]

the comments on jeremy jordan videos are funny

[zelda-daily]

Announcement: GOAL!

Hi! So we finally made it to day 100 - the goal I set out to do from the start but had no idea if I could actually reach lol.

I made this blog in the middle of dealing with art block. I hadn't really been feeling inspired to draw or create much for about a year.

The longest I've ever lasted on a daily drawing challenge before this was day 3. Now that I've made it to day 100 and I'm finally starting to get ideas and inspiration again, I'm satisfied :]

This is NOT the end of the blog. Just a hiatus until the next art block, which (let's be real) will probably be sooner than later lol.

Thank you to everyone who's been following along so far. I really, genuinely appreciate all the tags and comments and familiar faces.

Until next time! <3

[merrinpippy]

on masks

so shockingly miracle mask has huge mask theming in like every aspect. basically every significant character is 'wearing' a mask literally or metaphorically, except for luke who remarks in ludmilla's costume shop that he doesn't think any of the masks suit him (since the events of the previous game luke can be authentically himself now.) this is fun to notice on its own, but there's more to be discussed than just the presence of masks.

every mask in miracle mask backfires on its wearer to some degree! the most obvious case of this is descole and the masked gentleman straight up underestimating their own mask/s and failing to see their plans to the end, and the resulting consequences. dalston and henry's masks of stoicism turn out to have kept them from years of friendship they could have enjoyed, and paint them both as suspects in the masked gentleman case. angela's aloof facade and distance from everyone around her allows her to be kidnapped for a significant portion of the game without anyone but the professor noticing (and even then, he notices that something's up with her, but chalks it up initially as not knowing her anymore). less obviously, emmy's mask only means she'll end up hurting the people she has come to care for even more when the time comes.

most interesting to me, though, is hershel! even as a teen he's remarkably reserved, though clearly passionate. he keeps himself very controlled, and seems to care very much about coming across to others as helpful, grounded, and 'normal'. the interests that we know he has he keeps locked up, literally hidden away in cupboards, not to be acknowledged aloud to himself or others. he never gets angry or ever really displays any stereotypical teen behaviours apart from awkwardness.

now what this means is he is treated as the reliable one who will nonetheless go along with whatever randall wants him to do. he's never particularly assertive (something he will learn to be as an adult) so his willingness is taken for granted. he's put in mortal danger in akbadain because it never occurs to randall that hershel's protests are anything more than for appearance's sake.

and when randall falls and hershel is alone, he yells! he falls to his knees, completely overcome. he cries. he pushes through. and when he reaches angela and henry, alone, covered in dirt, looking completely haunted... they don't even ask him if he's okay. angela bodily shakes him. in the past and present, nobody treats hershel as if he's been through something traumatic - to everyone else, he was either a bystander to or complicit in randall's death, but controlled, mild-mannered and rational hershel is never considered a victim in his own right even after years have passed for everyone to think on it. years after the fact angela apologises to hershel... when she realises she needs his help. and henry immediately accuses him of betraying randall's memory and abandoning him.

and to be clear this isn't me saying oh they're evil or whatever but it's significant that they acknowledge how the trauma affected them and their behaviour from that point forward but it doesn't occur to them that hershel's behaviour and life trajectory was also altered forever! because hershel has for his whole life masked so well that to everyone else he does not have an interior life that isn't puzzle solving.

and the absolute funniest thing about it is that when hershel confesses this all to emmy and luke.... it's immediately back to the investigation, "where do we go now professor!" i'm sure there's no reason to ask if hershel's okay, he's probably unaffected by all that, let's go! readers i laughed out loud. tfw you mask so well everyone forgets you're a person

[feroluce]

For reasons to be expanded upon at a later date (because I love the little bits about Boothill and possible paranoia/betrayal canon gives us so very dearly HNGH) I think Boothill like... He won't let himself fall into disrepair or anything of course, but he reeeeeeeeeeally does not like letting other people poke around at his body. It's a necessary evil to him. He does whatever maintenance and repairs he can himself. He started out with a massive knowledge deficit, simply because he didn't really have any exposure to that kind of technology until he left Aeragan-Epharshal, but he's taught himself a lot since then, he worked really hard at it!

Anyway, the point being, Boothill generally isn't super trusting of people.

But I think he would come to make an exception for Himeko, since he trusts Dan Heng a lot, and Himeko is one of Dan Heng's once-in-a-lifetime dearly beloved companions.

Himeko is so unflappable, I don't think she would even bat an eye about anything he throws at her, either. Like she enters the Parlor Car one morning (she's always the first one up) and Boothill is already there, waiting for her.

"Mornin', Madam Navigator."

"Good morning, Mr. Boothill."

And despite the fact that he blatantly broke into the Express (Pom-Pom is NOT happy about this JDKSAJDSKL), Boothill tips his hat, greets her politely, and is nothing but respectful when he says he has a favor to ask of her. Except it won't stay a favor long, of course- he has every intention of paying it back.

Himeko never agrees to things blindly, but she does bring up that all the knowledge Boothill contributed during the Charmony Festival was essential to preventing the universe from being pulled into Ena's Dream. And they were able to hold onto the Jade Abacus because Boothill used Tiernan's burial relic to summon the Galaxy Rangers instead. The Astral Express owes him a debt of gratitude, and besides, he's a friend of Dan Heng's. Of course she'll try to help him.

Boothill fidgets a bit, quickly brushes off the thanks, and tells Himeko he's having a problem with error codes. He keeps getting the same one, seemingly at random times, but the darn thing has no obvious cause. Dan Heng mentioned Himeko had been the one to rebuild the Astral Express. He knows it ain't the same, but it's not like he's askin' for any major repairs or nothin'. He was wonderin' if she could just take a look, maybe offer him some insight, since she seems to be somethin' of a mechanical wonder.

So Himeko walks him back to a another car, where she goes to tinker with machines without them crowding her bedroom. It's all neatly laid out and organized, and it only takes a second for Himeko to locate some specific device with a long cord. Instead of plugging it in herself, she holds the end of it out to him, like an offer rather than a demand, and Boothill visibly relaxes a bit. He still eyes it just a little warily for a second, but he accepts and plugs it into the port on his side.

Himeko pulls up the list of all recent errors, and they really are all the same. Boothill has had multiple temperature alarms over the past couple of weeks since the Charmony Festival, and they know it's not the environment, because Penacony is mostly dreamscape and kept mild year-round. The long-forgotten natural deserts are too far away.

Boothill is staring from the corner of his one good eye, so Himeko turns the hologram to let him see what she's doing easier. They don't appear to be false alarms. His internal temperature spikes and then slowly lowers again, high enough that if it lasted it would eventually cause damage.

One option is for her to start rooting through personal data, figuring out what he was doing at the time of each code, and tracing cause and correlation.

Instead, Himeko reads out the timestamps, and asks Boothill if he minds sharing what was happening around him when it occured.

Two weeks ago: He and Dan Heng went to explore Dreamflux Reef and found a bar- nice place, good atmosphere. Woman runnin’ it was a doll. Boothill left fer not even two minutes to get them drinks (Dan Heng knows like nothin’ about liquor, Madam Navigator, can you believe this guy) and when he came back, someone had already stolen his seat and was hittin’ on Dan Heng! Dan Heng didn't even care, just shooed ‘em off. Boothill laughed and said not to let him get in his way if he wanted to meet someone. Dan Heng looked at him like he'd grown a second head. Why would he want to leave with someone else, when he came here to be with Boothill?

Twelve days ago: While laying low- er, just rustlin’ up some grub- in the Moment of Blue, Boothill passed Dan Heng with March and Caelus playin’ on the beach, buildin’ sandcastles and the like. When he passed by again almost two hours later, they were still out there, with Dan Heng pullin’ March through the water on her inner tube and Caelus hangin’ off the back of it. He swam so fast! You'd think he was part water snake or somethin’. He looked happier ‘n a cat in a sunbeam… He has a nice smile, doesn't he?

Eleven days ago: Boothill was killin’ time in Dreamflux Reef when he turned the corner down a shady alley and saw Dan Heng, surrounded by three men demandin’ “protection money.” None of ‘em stood a chance, they were all on the ground before Boothill even blinked! So cool! Boothill wants to see that spear of his closeup- Anyway, Dan Heng stepped on one of ‘em on his way out, hahaha! Boothill stepped on the same guy a second time as he hurried to catch up.

Eight days ago: Here on the Express, actually. Boothill had mentioned bein’ curious about the archives, and Dan Heng personally invited him.

(“I remember that day, I saw you in the hall.” “Was there any problem with the heating that day?” “No, none. I don't think the temperature has anything to do with these error codes. I have a different theory, keep going.” “If ya say so.”)

Boothill was fascinated by an entry on aeons, and from a single question he asked about Lan, the two of ‘em ended up talkin’ fer hours. About aeons and Paths and Emanators, Acheron and Self-Annihilators, the Sea of Nihility, Tiernan, the Nameless and the Galaxy Rangers, their burial relics and their customs. Dan Heng finally just started writin’ and editin’ the entries in real time, with Boothill pointin’ things out and tellin’ him what to add in. They were at it so late that Boothill ended up sleepin' on a couch in one of the cars.

He'd figured there had to be something to make Dan Heng chatty- he'd caught just a glimpse of it that first night they met, sittin’ at the bar in the Reverie together. He'll have to ask about the archives more often, if it gets him all revved up like that.

One week ago: After that night of energetic discussion, Dan Heng was apparently hyped up, because after he'd downed some of Himeko's coffee (“You had some too, right? What did you think of it?” “It was great, even better'n chewin’ bullets!” "Thank you! That was my newest brew, I can't wait for everyone else to try it.") he actually asked Boothill to go hunting with him. Boothill asked who their target was, and was surprised when Dan Heng pulled out photos that looked like they were from March's camera, of all things, instead of a bounty or wanted poster.

And as he sat there, studying these pictures, Dan Heng explained that he wanted to hunt down these specific memory zone memes to record them into the archives. Planets with so much memoria are a rarity, especially with the Stellaron's activity thrown into the mix, which has surely affected the local “wildlife.” He might not get another opportunity like this for a long time. And Boothill had talked last night about his extensive expertise in tracking and hunting, so he should have plenty to offer here, Dan Heng would like to learn from his experience and see how he does things!

And oh, Madam Navigator, by the time Dan Heng was done speakin', his eyes were practically sparklin'! Just lit up like the sun! Boothill could scarcely believe it! The two of them couldn't even wait another day, they set out that very morning. It had been a long, long while since Boothill had tracked someone- er, somethin’- without the intent to capture or kill. It was…actually really nice. Nostalgic, but in a good way. It might even have been his favorite day on Penacony…so…far…

Boothill trails off as a couple of realizations crash into him. All the temperature alarms he's spoken about thus far- they've all happened in the company of Dan Heng. And now that he's thinking about it, he's pretty sure even the ones he hasn't yet talked about were with him, too. Dan Heng has been responsible for all of his error codes, every. single. one.

The screen in front of Himeko suddenly refreshes to the top of the list, displaying a new notification for the current time. Alert! Core temperature above normal range.

Himeko's knowing smile is sly as a snake.

Wwwwwelp, would ya look at the time, Boothill has some errands to meet, people to run, y’know how it is, he should really get goin'-

��Oh, Mr. Boothill? About that favor.” And Boothill jolts to a stop in the doorway because fudge, he can't just leave without hearing her out. He'd given his word. He has no problem running out on someone he thinks deserves it, but Himeko really had been kind to him to try and help him out. Her voice is just as knowing as her smile, Boothill can't turn around to look at her, or else he knows he won't be able to disguise the sound of his cooling fans kicking on.

“Don't make Dan Heng wait too long, ok~?”

“Y-Yes, ma'am.”

[razzafrazzle]

i THINK i found a human design for hodge podge that i like where hes not literally Just Me but still like. vaguely a self-insert. and a bill for scale bc hes short

[image descriptions: a drawing of human designs for both bill cipher from gravity falls and a gravity falls original character named hodge podge. bill is depicted as a scrawny, pale-skinned man with medium-length blunt-cut yellow hair who is wearing a short yellow dress with a brick pattern on the skirt. hodge is depicted as a chubby pale-skinned man with visible breasts, stubble, and body hair, as well as messy split-dyed teal and yellow curly hair. he is wearing asymmetrical glasses, a teal and white jester hat with a matching collar and pink gloves and jester boots, all over an oversized t-shirt that says "dilf" on it. end id]