#I forgot how good it feels to publish a completed fic

[youling-the-ghost]

GUESS WHO JUST WROTE A TITCH AND DEREK FIC!

well technically this is just chapter 1, but hey it's still (nearly) 3k of Aubgergine Goodness so it still counts

Anyways if I don't post an update for a while (a while as in longer than a week or so) you guys have my permission to spam my DMs to get me to update. I need y'all to hold me accountable.

[your-nanas-house]

"Mr. Coleman said that..."

◇ Pairing: stepdad!Austin Butler X stepdaughter!Reader

◇ Warnings: kind of dark, SMUT, sessions, therapy (invented by me, dunno if it exists), pervy, stepdad x stepdaughter dynamic.

◇ Summary: Austin gets bit lost in the feelings that the "bond" therapy gifted him.

◇ Note: Sorry for the mistakes and the English. It took me so long, thanks for the kind anon that reminded me what Austin fic I wanted to publish. I think it's the very first Austin fic that I wrote... 🫣. For other fics like this.

A small click and the front door of his attic was open, allowing him to enter and finally drop down the bag he carried all day around... plus the new script.

Austin had been out all day and he honestly felt all those hours on his shoulders other than his mood. He really was tired but happy, since he was about to see his little princess.

As his feet lead him to the open kitchen he could already hear her soft humming, which informed him that she was busy entertain herself with something

"Hi stepdaddy, how was your day?" Her sweet voice beamed after his footsteps popped her little bubble of calm. She didn't look upset or annoyed when seeing him... which was a good thing since they had some issues when her mom left them both.

Issues that with a bit of father and daughter therapy should had quickly disappear... or so the man, who was following the process, had told them the first meeting.

"Bit tiring but... it was good. How about yours? What did you do while I was out?" Austin's low raspy voice asked as his hand removed carefully his AirPods before his coat so that he could focus his attention on her completely.

She was still in her cute pajamas, a silly one that she had begged him to buy her as soon as she finished watching one of the latest movies of his... 'Elvis' 2022. Reason because her pants were of a baby pink filled with pictures of the king, matched by a baggy shirt with the quote 'Keep Calm and Love Elvis Presley'.

"Bit boring, studied a bit... and nothing much, I cleaned the house though" Y/n informed him after taking a big sip of her tea, humming softly when the older man's arms wrapped around her torso.. hugging her close to himself.

"So sweet of you" he murmured in her ear, tickling her with his short beard as his face snuggled in the crock of her neck more so to make her chuckle before pressing his lips against hers for a quick 'hello' kiss.

His head now resting on top of hers calmly.

"Also!.. I need your help" Y/n hummed out, putting down her cup as her heart beat faster in her chest.. butterflies forming in her stomach at her stepdad's cuddles.

She could already feel his chest vibrating softly as he replied with his voice which became even more lower that it used to be due to the time and work.

"With what, kid?" His big hand ruffled her hair playfully while his body moved to rest against the table of the kitchen so that his beautiful eyes could stare at her as she talked.

She really was so cute like that, her hair bit messy because of him and the glasses she put on just when she used her laptop so to protect them. It seemed quite domestic... bit too domestic since his body started to react a bit, aroused by the innocent scenario.

And the cute mad face she made every time he would tease or annoy her, was so cute but also such a strong turn on for him... expecially those pouty pretty lips, now covered by a watermelon lip gloss.

"Do you remember what Mr. Coleman suggested?" Y/n asked casually, glancing at him with the face he grow to know as 'the testing face'; a serious but funny expression that she always used when she wanted to see if he remembered something or if he forgot about it.

"Of what, sweetheart?" Austin replied with her same tone as he put down the script, pouring himself a glass of water before sitting on the counter to look in her direction. She was giving him her back but he could already see the pouty face accompanied by a small snort of disappointment since he didn't remember.

"The bonding exercises, Baba!" She whined out, looking at him while scoffing softly at his amused expression. He really knew her too well.

"Of course I remember, baby" Austin lied as he placed his glass on the surface so he wouldn't look her in the eyes without distractions

"He said at least once a week, two is better though..." she repeated what their therapist said to them some weeks ago, her eyes looking at him lazily bit tired of her lonesome day. Even too tired to notice his stare taking her whole in shamefully.

"You know that I'm always free to spend some quality time with you, baby" he rasped out before clearing his throat and finish his water, his body warming up at the mere view of her cute behaviour.

"That's a lie but anyway... Let's start it, hm" the young woman murmured, pecking back as soon as he leaned down to steal a bit of love while picking her up easily and move them on the sofa in the living room where there was more space.

"What were the exercises again?" Austin asked, his hands rubbing soft circles on her hips while his eyes pierced intensely in hers the whole time she explained to him "The 5 senses exercises to feel more connected. Touch.. with the yoga, hearing.. by listening and talking, taste.. by eating together, and.. view.. the stare".

Those were all topics they had to go through in their therapist's opinion.. a way to bond with each other better and share some quality moments as father... even though he wasn't her real dad, and daughter.

"I remember perfectly now... and what was the last one?" He asked while playing with a lock of her hair, smiling slightly when her index finger pressed against his nose while talking "It's the smell... we have to take in our scent... and that should be all. So!... where do we start?" The young woman beamed, getting up from his lap.

The older man really enjoyed seeing her so full of energy and joy, it was addicting.

"Okay, little one, let's start. You can choose with which one we begin".

.

Her choose was quickly and he found himself warming slightly up to start the first step. The Touch.. aka Yoga exercises.

Simple but helpful positions they had to do together to feel the struggles and the moving of their bodies.

"Need to change! Mr. Coleman said that we have to be as bare as possible for this one." The young woman reminded the older man from the other room, busy changing into something to start the exercise and have yoga behind so they could relax.

He said that?, Austin questioned in his mind and raised his eyebrows... he really didn't listen so much when that man spoke with them. He clearly needed to stay more focused in the next sessions.

"You need to change as well!" Her sweet voice urged him as she was now standing in front of him in the set of underwear he gifted her that Christmas. Matching bra and panties which colors were identical to her favourite bun that she had used to tie her hair up.

"Sweet baby Jesus above, you are stunning" he commented, holding himself from just cursing in front of her since he scolded her more than once when some bad words left her pretty mouth. It had became a game of theirs just saying some silly things instead of vulgar language.

"It's the set you gave me!" She informed him with a smile, her hands busy fixing her hair happy and warm to start

"I know, little one" the actor murmured while still staring, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

His body was reacting bit too much for his liking and he started to sweat a bit so he decided to get quickly ready and just move his hands to pull off his shirt and threw it away, exposing his built body to the air so that they could begin with the yoga.

Y/n was the first to lead and help, her smaller frame kept doing her best to keep up and help Austin while ending up most of the time just clinging on him like a koala or bouncing to reach his hands.. way too high for her reach.

It was funny, adorable and relaxing... till the sensations changed when he was the one leading the exercise.

"Baba! You have to follow my body" Y/n explained in a whiny playful voice as her young body bent down in front of him, her ass brushing against his crotch and then pressing lovingly when he moved on her, hugging her hips with his strong arms.

Fucking hot, he thought now that his cock overpowered his brain.

His breath became bit heavier while his hands massaged her flesh, he could have stayed like that all day... with his boner pressed between her firm and round ass cheeks still barely covered by those damn panties.

"Ready for the rhythm? Remember sync to let our bodies connect" she parrot what Mr. Coleman told them, making Austin curse internally since he had forgot about the movements... not that he minded though, since his worries disappeared as soon as her ass hit his half-hard dick.

His hips started to follow, taking the lead unconsciously, grinding his clothed cock against her soft flesh shamelessly.

"You got your phone in your pocket, Baba?" Y/n asked after a while, glancing behind to check on him, yelping softly when he moves her head easily by her chin. Making her look back ahead.

"Mhhm... focus, little one. Sync, remember?" Austin rasped out as his hips increased their rhythm, making her loose the balance she had and end up flat against the floor with him on top.

Her heart was beating fast and she couldn't deny that her panties were getting wet by his movements... she wasn't sure it was part of the exercises but who was her to correct her stepdad.

"You're doing so good, baby. So good" his low voice praised, making her maintain the rhythm and match his when his hips increased the tempo as his big hand, which was on her tummy, helped her continue it.

It was starting to get tired, her breath becoming breathless as she heard him grunting next to her ear.

"Austin, I'm not sure this is part of Mr. Coleman's exercises—" Y/n weakly spoke, letting a broken whine escape her mouth when his little finger pressed roughly against her clothed clit

"It's all part of Mr. Coleman's exercises to bond, baby. And call me like he said you should.. don't you want to make the sessions pay off?" Austin murmured huskily, inhaling deeply while lowering quickly his sweatpants and press his bare, rock-hard angry cock against her ass again, pulling the fabric of her panties so that it was stuck between her ass cheeks like his lenght.

"I said call me like Mr. Coleman said, little one" his tone became more stern as his hand spanked her soft flesh making her jolt

"Sorry, daddy! Sorry" she whined out, moving her ass up so to allow him to continue without interruptions... just like a good girl.

It was twisted but felt so good, so... damn good, with the soft skin of his cock caressing her inner thighs as he made sure to keep them closed so that he could fuck them. Hitting her clit with each thrust.

Her stepdad was dry humping her and she was loving it as much as he was... and she could tell that he was enjoying himself pretty much due to all the noises and praises that escaped his lips.

"Such a good girl! Fuck— fuck, fuck. Little one!" His horsed voice growled in her ear as his body shook against hers before something started to wet her thighs and panties. The young woman didn't had time to check before her own orgasm hit her whole and her back arched, a soft curse, which earned her a harsh spank, escaped her innocent sweet mouth.

"Language, baby... now how about we move to the food now, hm?" Austin suggested while massaging her warm flesh, moving his softening cock away from her shaking thighs.

[joeyalohadream]

ooh for the fic drabbles, bucky learning that buck is extremely ticklish somewhere! he didn’t notice before because maybe it’s a bit of an odd spot like the backs of his thighs or something 🥰

Now that I published my long fic, I can go back and finish all the lovely requests I've received!

This one was cute anon! Thank you, enjoy!

Word Count: 863

Bucky released Gale as gently as he could, which if the annoyance on Gale’s face was anything to go by, wasn’t very.

“Sorry,” Bucky laughed and moved to sit back on his cot, across from Gale’s.

He observed the younger man with a smile on his face, taking in his mussed hair, his flushed cheeks and the slightly hazy look to his eyes as he glared at Bucky.

“Knew you’d be a lightweight,” Bucky grinned.

“I had three drinks,” Gale protested.

“You had three beers,” Bucky corrected, and then proudly declared. “I had three drinks, and three beers.”

“Well, you’ve had more practice,” Gale grumbled as he sat up, swaying slightly.

“It’d be easy to get you more of that,” Bucky pointed out.

Gale shook his head, “Absolutely not. This,” he gestured to himself, “was a one-time thing. Don’t know why I even agreed to it.”

Bucky pouted at him.

“’Cause you forgot it was Curt’s birthday and told him you’d do whatever he wanted,” Bucky helpfully supplied.

“And he’s an asshole,” Gale stated, the seriousness of his tone making Bucky bark out a laugh.

“He just wanted to see you let loose, Buck,” Bucky defended. “Can’t blame him.”

“Well, if he’d let me let loose with three ginger beers instead, we’d both still be at his birthday celebration.” Gale pulls his tie loose and out from under his collar. “You could still be there you know.”

“And let a beautiful thing like you walk back to base drunk, all by your lonesome,” Bucky puts a hand to chest, mock offended. “What kind of a gentleman do you take me for?”

Gale throws his tie at him and gives him his best glare, but Bucky can see the smile trying to pull at his lips.

Bucky watches as Gale leans forward and then sits right back up, eyes closed.

“You good?” Bucky questioned, leaning forward himself.

“Now I see why you always need my help getting your boots off when you come back drunk,” Gale swallows heavily.

“Can’t even untie your shoes, John, how are you going to fly a plane,” Bucky does his best impression of Gale’s low voice, even as he’s getting to his knees and reaching for Gale’s left foot. “Not so competent now, are ya Buck?”

A hand swats at the top of his head and he ducks, laughing all the while. It feels good to laugh with Gale.

He unlaces Gale’s left shoe and then his right, waits a moment for the other man to toe them off and then decides to complete the process when Gale remains loopy and unhelpful above him.

He goes to grab Gale’s left calf to pull his leg up off the ground and give himself leverage to remove his shoe, but as soon as his fingers grips the toned calf, Gale chokes out a sound that Bucky’s never heard before and jerks his leg out of Bucky’s grasp.

Bucky reels back, worried that he hurt him, worried that Gale’s been hiding some invisible injury from him as he scrambles to his feet. But when he looks down at Gale, he doesn’t look like he’s in pain. He looks like he wants to die of embarrassment.

“What the hell was that?”

“Nothing,” Gale tells him, ducking his head.

He thinks back on the noise again. It wasn’t pain he’d heard now that he really thinks about it. It almost sounded like a laugh. Not Gale’s usual quiet huffs when he finds something amusing and not quite the loud bark of belly laughter that Bucky’s only managed to get out of him once, but a cross between the two.

Bucky narrows his eyes at him.

“You’re ticklish,” he accuses.

“M’not,” Gale denies, a little too quickly, and Bucky grins.

“You are!” He declares and then he goes back to his knees so fast, Gale doesn’t have a chance to stop him in his slowed, inebriated state. He gets his hand around Gale’s left calf again, digs his fingers in and delights as Gale giggles.

He keeps his grip strong as Gale attempts to pull his leg away and delights in the laughter erupting from Gale. He’s never seen anything like it. It’s adorable.

“Bucky,” Gale chokes out between laughs, “Bucky, stop. John, STOP.”

Bucky relents and lets go, sits back on his heels and watches Gale wipe tears from his eyes. When Gale looks down at him, he gives him his most innocent grin.

“You’re a jackass,” Gale grumps at him.

“I’m your jackass though,” Bucky smiles.

“You guys are so fucking weird,” Curt grumbles from the doorway. They both startle and look his way.

“How long have you been standing there?” Gale asks, face heating.

“Too fuckin’ long,” Curt grumbles. “Come on Bucky, my birthday ain’t over yet and you owe me a game of darts.” He walks back out the door and Bucky smiles sheepishly at Gale. Thankful the worst he’d been caught doing was tickling his best friend.

“Hey, at least I went the gentlemanly way and tried to take off your shoes instead of your pants, right?”

“Get outta here,” Gale swats at him, but he’s smiling so Bucky is too.

[yallmakemyassitch]

Tickletober Day 31 /// Aftercare

Yeah fun fact uh- I actually had this lined up for you guys but I kinda got distracted by other things and forgot I had this stagnating in my files for over a month. After that I considered just publishing it as a never ever, but we're here now so I won't be tagging it as such. But I will say there was much more planned for this. I'm happy how it turned out, hell, maybe I'll complete it 🤷‍♀️

Either way, sorry for kinda dying on y'all content wise. Things have been pretty rough irl and mentally, I'm not doing too well. This has prevented me from completing projects I have in my drafts (I have an ENTITY fic wip, that Aldryx teaser I showed y'all, requests to tend to, and such).

But at the same time, I'm trying to end the year with good vibes, I don't want to be so overly negative anymore as this blog is a place where I want to be happy and draw and write cute tickle shit (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠). Anyways just remember someone loves you, onto our scheduled programming

Summary: Brotherly fluff (⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠｀⁠)⁠｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+🩷🩷🩷

It's a little short but I hope you enjoyed it :))

This made me feel better just posting it (⁠◡⁠ ⁠ω⁠ ⁠◡⁠)

[ghostinthegallery]

I can't believe The Silence and the Storm is over a year old! The first anniversary was May 27th (yes I missed my own fic's birthday in my defense I was traveling and forgot how time works).

I'm trying to compose my thoughts because this sure feels like a time a blog post would be fitting. However, my engrams are scrambled because...wow do I have too many feelings.

As some background, I've been a writer for a long time. And I've written 3-5 books (depends on how you count "completing" a book but it's 5 full drafts, 3 of which were heavily edited). I wanted to be a trade published writer (still do) and for a while I was feeling good about my chances! I got lucky and received some wonderful professional mentorship (and met one of my best friends during that program!). I took that guidance to query agents (a necessary step for access to most big/medium US publishers). I knew it would be hard and take time but...4 years later all I have to show are a few requests, hundreds of rejections, and one agent who asked me to rewrite my entire book only to reject me anyway (me, bitter? No not at all nooooo).

I'm a creative person and sharing my work feels like sharing a part of myself. Something that is not easy for me to do. After a while I just assumed I was missing something necessary. My work didn't resonate, but I didn't know how to fix it. I’d never reach anyone in the way I so desperately craved, and it was my fault for not being good enough. I felt broken.

During one of many major depressive episodes my spouse bought me a copy of The Infinite and the Divine. That book has changed my life. I was never much of a fanfic writer before. Either I thought the original work was too good and I didn't think I had anything to add or it was too bad so why would I bother with it when I could just go read/watch something better? 40k inspired me though. The ideas are incredible but underutilized enough that I felt like I had something to add.

So I started writing necron fic because why not? There wasn’t enough for me to read, and I needed more robot stories. Maybe I could rediscover my love of the craft, make some friends, make some robots kiss. Distract my mind from the horrors. So I posted a little OC fic and actually got some nice comments. Hey! Positive reinforcement! Hadn't had that in a while.

Emboldened, I continued in the most normal way possible. Going from a 7 chapter OC story to a giant civil war epic including every named necron character I could find with 6 (then 7...then 9) POVs. It was the type of grand space opera I've always wanted to write but never did because I didn’t think I had the skill and it's harder to sell. Luckily AO3 is free. Ain't no playing to the market there!

Now, a 40k necron civil war space opera is...niche. So I wasn't expecting much. I would have been happy with some kudos, some comments. Fan art felt like a pipe dream, but what are writers if not dreamers? The main goal was to enjoy myself. It was low pressure fun, I love the characters, what could go wrong?

Nothing, but I was wholely unprepared for things to go as right as they did. Y’all have been amazing. So many great comments and ideas exchanged, gorgeous art, fun asks, a lot of screaming (it’s fine probably don’t worry). I’ve never had such a strong outpouring of support for my work. It feels incredible. But also sometimes confusing. I’ve trained myself so well to handle rejection that I kind of forgot how to handle acceptance. Especially for something so personal. This is a weird story about undead space robots, there’s a lot of politics, sometimes the robots have sex. It’s got out there head canons, and 99% of the tyranid parts are pulled out of my ass because nobody knows how the space bugs work okay. My weirdness being embraced on this scale is one of the greatest feelings of my life. But it’s also new, and way out of my comfort zone. I’m being seen and adjusting to that.

Still, writing in this space has been one of the most consistently joyful things in my life for…well, over a year now! It’s changed how I view my art. I actually can create stories that touch people and make them feel things. I can take risks and have them pay off. I know not everyone will love this, but some people really seem to love it. That is mind blowing to me.

It’s making me reassess a lot about how I approach my art. Writing and other. I still plan to pursue publication. I want to get paid for my work, but this is making me consider alternate paths that might fit my style (and psyche) better. I don’t know what the future holds, but if you’d told me a year and a half ago that a big part of it would hinge on an AO3 gay robot skeleton space opera…I would have thought you were nuts, but also hoped you were right because that sounds rad as hell.

So in conclusion, thank you all so much for reading <3

[forkanna]

WARNINGS: The Messenger and all related characters © Sabotage Studios. Story ©2021 (and published 2024) to me. Rated M for a little steaminess in the latter half, though nothing too explicit.

NOTES: Happy New Year! Or something. I hope anyone reading this is happy and thriving, despite so many geopolitical, ecological, and economic upheavals.

I've gone quiet because I was working on a very large new fic that will be starting soon, and also just to recover from working on my previous stories, and to take care of some other life stuff. That's why, other than assisting with some friends' works, it's taken me almost half the year to release anything new. Most of you probably haven't even noticed, I'm sure, since my update schedule slowed to a crawl last year.

Believe me, I have a couple of very hefty works that are nearing the completion stage. I just hope the fandoms are alive and interested when I put them out there.

Alright, so I have a deep love of challenging platformers (challenging, not frustrating like Super Meat Boy). I wrote this one quite some time ago and simply forgot, and found it again when sifting through my files. Maybe Sea Of Stars being released will make it still be relevant, even though I'm posting it so long after The Messenger came out. If you've found it, enjoy!

Jessex

[AO3 LINK]

"So how long have you been in this shop?"

"My entire life. You think the shop is your ally? You merely adopted the shop. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn't see outside the shop until I was already…"

"…"

"That would be funnier if you were from where I'm from."

"Okay… but really, you haven't been The Shopkeeper here all your life, have you?"

"I haven't. But I also don't feel any need to tell you about my secret past, so you can probably drop that now. Don't you have a big demon to defeat or something?"

"…right."

"Good. Now go. Let me bask in a few whole seconds of peace before you come back in here and demand to know what's in my cabinet again. Nosy ninja."

"I just thought since we're spending all this time together, it might be polite to get to know you."

"Maybe I don't want to be known. Especially not about my past from before I found my way into this weird little pocket of reality. Definitely nothing about solar and lunar warriors who had to sail between dimensions. Maybe something from the after-time; I could tell you something about then."

"…"

"…"

"Do you have any stories to share?"

"Of course, here's one for you."

~ o ~

Stop me if you've heard this one. A monk walks into a bar… wait, not quite right. I'll try it again from the top.

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful monk. Very few ever got to see her face because from the moment she began training, a veil covered the lower half. Not much is known about the clan she came from other than that they trained as hard as the ninjas in their own discipline. A strong clan of true warrior women. They seemed to favour orange; orange gi, orange balaclava, orange slippers. They wear wraps around their forearms and calves that are yellow to match the yellow trim on the rest of their uniforms. Very sunny, I guess you would say. Sunny warriors.

As you probably have been able to guess by now since you keep asking me so many questions, she used to do what you do, back before the warrior from the west passed you the scroll. "Messenger" is what you'd call a revolving door position. Don't ask what a revolving door is; it's pretty self-explanatory, but also pretty horrifying. Much worse than the Burning Crags or the Underworld.

What a serious messenger the Monk was. Way better than you. She might have been your match in terms of fighting ability and athleticism — or similar, anyway — but she didn't let herself get distracted nearly as much. Discipline of the mind is just as important as discipline of the body, you know?

Yes, this is me asking you to stop with my cabinet. Again. You're like a dog with a bone.

She came in pretty often the same way you did, asking the same questions about how to climb up a wall in her way, catch air currents… you get the idea. And she didn't have as many relentless questions as some people, but we would talk here and there.

"It must be a difficult job, to guide warriors like myself to their fates."

"It's a hobby," I joked. I joke a lot. You have to break the boredom somehow. No, it's definitely not a defense mechanism to cover a plethora of anxieties.

"Oh, it is only a hobby?" She bowed, all deferential and polite. Those intriguing twin cones she styled her hair into barely even moved; she must wrap those ribbons — yellow, because why wouldn't they be — very tightly. Or maybe she just stuck them there; detachable head-cones. I've heard of weirder things. "My apologies, I should not have assumed this was your duty."

"Ah, that's… it's fine. So how do you get your hair like that?"

What? Colour me curious.

"Hm? Oh…" It was hard to tell without her veil, but I thought the way the corners of her eyes crinkled meant she was pleased. Her voice was just as reverent and respectful as always, so no help there. "You like this?"

"Yeah. I mean, it's pretty neat."

Her small-but-strong hand drifted up to caress over one of the cones. "Thank you. Many of the men and women of our order adopt such hair styles; they are appealing but functional. Long hair that is not kept in check would interfere with my ability to battle evil."

"Right, of course. I've often thought about doing something with mine, or maybe getting a cool hat."

"A… hat?"

"You know. Sits on top of your head, fashionably keeps the sun off?"

After a second of complete silence in which I really thought she might turn and stalk out of the room, completely disappointed with my conversational skills, she instead covered her mouth and began to let out the most musical, tinkling laughter I've ever heard in my life. And I've met an actual pixie before.

Don't ask to meet a pixie. The consequences are way too catastrophic.

"Ah, I see. Then I hope you will have a hat one day, Keeper of the Shop."

"Maybe." I was trying not to let on that I was having a good time; it's kind of my thing, to act like I'm just sort of aloof and indifferent. "But I can't help noticing you have pigtails, even though the cone-things are supposed to keep your hair out of the way. Fashion over function?"

She reached back to pull at one of the pigtails. "Yes… they are disliked by my master. But she has admitted that I am a more fierce monk with them in my way than any of my sisters are without them."

"You have sisters? Big family?"

"Sisters-in-arms," she clarified with another small laugh.

"Ahhh. Got it, sorry. Anyway, I think they look nice. As long as they don't get you killed by some ugly hell-beast, of course."

There was a slight twinkle in her playful deep brown eye. "They will not."

~ o ~

"That's it?"

"That's it."

"…"

"What? Don't you think that's a nice story? Isn't it cool to find out sometimes I chit-chat with other Messengers because I get super bored?"

"It's not that. I just thought you were going somewhere else with this."

"Where else? I never go anywhere but this shop. Or do I?"

"…right, but the way you described how she looked in so much detail made me think you were interested in her."

"…"

"Wow."

"What?"

"I don't think I've ever seen you speechless before."

"Watch it, ninja boy. It's just that you kind of strike me as the hapless protagonist type, so I wasn't expecting you to pick up on, well, anything."

"Oh, so you WERE interested?"

"…maybe."

"Huh."

"Oh, stop smirking. You didn't find out any great truth of the universe, you just figured out that a hottie made me take notice because I'm not blind."

"So did you do anything about it?"

"Excuse me? That's getting kind of personal, don't you think?"

"No, not really. I think you started telling me about her, and you like talking enough that you might want to tell me more if I ask."

"VERY personal now. And a little rude."

"You don't have to tell me anything. But it's really not that bad for me to just ask you to keep going, right? If you say no, you say no."

"Touché."

~ o ~

Even though you were a rude boy, and a little entitled, I'll tell you about another time the Monk came into my shop. Which was only forever, and not long at all. You'll know what that means one day, after you dance with magic.

The next few visits were pretty standard and all business. Monk wanted an upgrade that will help her take more hits, another that can transform her staff into a whip and back again. It's weird, she seemed to have a lot of trouble making it turn back into a staff… that wasn't supposed to happen, but oh well. Can't always trust Artificer's inventions but he does his best.

Which was why I gave you the rope dart instead. What would you do if you couldn't have your sword back? That'd be epically rough. Especially in the middle of a boss fight. Besides, some friends of mine had decent success with the prototype.

Then one time was a little different. She had just beaten back a throng of exhausting cultists — long story, too long for me even. And you know how long my stories can get. She seemed to need some time to rest instead of heading right back out into the fray.

"Here, take a seat back here."

"Oh?" After figuring out what I meant when I stood and moved aside, her brow furrowed a tiny bit. "Oh… no, I could not take your seat from you. This is your home."

"Well, not my home exactly… but seriously, I know you fought hard out there. Take a load off. You want some tea? Might not have any of the Astral stuff left, but…"

With a slight bow, she said in a flustered voice, "Please, you do not have to be so kind. I will be fine."

Thing is, polite as she always was even though she could easily kick my ass — and I'm no ten-pound weakling and don't you forget that, ninja boy — I could also tell she was dead on her feet. Copping a quick squat wouldn't be enough. So I did something for her that I have never done for any other Messenger, before or since.

I let her see my room.

~ o ~

"This isn't your room?"

"Yeah, of course it is. You see that big canopy bed in the corner, all those Tower Of Time Quarterly magazines on my nightstand?"

"Huh?"

"No, doofus. This is sarcasm; I'm being sarcastic. I can't sleep here if there's nowhere to sleep."

"…sometimes, you're kind of a jerk."

"And sometimes, you're kind of a doofus. Isn't it great that we can work around our differences for the good of the universe?"

"…"

"Moving on…"

~ o ~

Once we went through the secret entrance you don't get to know about because I don't think you can control your curiosity but it's also NOT that cabinet so don't assume so much, Monk let out a soft gasp when she saw how great my room was. Like, I can't undersell this enough; my ancestors really put some work into this whole place and it's gorgeous. Not super big but not small, either; a decent sized suite. Four stars all the way.

"Oh, it is beautiful!"

"Thanks. So, uh, you want anything to drink or eat? You ought to keep your strength up."

She turned from where she stood in the middle of the room, and it was even harder to ignore how she outshone my room. And this is my room; that's just about impossible.

"No, I could not impose. I am used to foraging. While I pass through the forests or the caverns, I will find mushrooms or wild greens, fruits, and prepare them by a campfire."

"Whoa. Real outdoorsy type. That's pretty dope."

"Dope? I am… you think I am stupid?"

OOPS. That not-old-school slang was going to get me in trouble. "No, no! I meant to say, uh… well, nevermind, I meant it's really neat you can do that. I bet you never have to go hungry that way." This badass warrior turned me into an awkward teenager again.

"Oh," she said softly, and I was relieved to see that slight crease in her brow fade again. Good; I already felt like crap for making her feel bad, even for a second.

"I'm really sorry. But yeah, here - I've got… okay." Yes, there was a little kitchenette. Did I not say my room was epic? "Instant ramen; I think you'll like that. Or at least, it'll fill you up and give you that carb-energy so you can do your thing tomorrow after you rest up. Man cannot live by potions and wild mushrooms alone."

"I assure you, I am fine," she told me with that laugh that set all my hair follicles tingling. "I am very grateful for your help, but please, do not go to so much trouble."

So I made her cup ramen. And yeah, you called me out on carrying a tiny torch for her monkness, so I should go ahead and admit that this wasn't exactly your top-tier first date activity. On the plus side, it wasn't like me giving her a place to rest counted as a date at all.

By the time it was finished, she had sat at my little two-person table. Honestly, I had always thought the second chair was a little redundant when I never had visitors, but figured there was no real reason to throw it out. Now I was glad I was lazy. I set one cup in front of her and another in front of the other spot - which actually wasn't my usual spot. But there was no way I was gonna tell Monk she couldn't have my seat. Even if it did bother me, which it didn't, I would have let her sit wherever she wanted, any day of the week.

"Thank you," she breathed with her palms pressed together, bowing slightly to me. She reached for the chopsticks laying across the paper lid.

"Oh - wait, you have to wait a couple of minutes."

"Hm? Why? I thought you prepared the food already…" She seemed uncertain.

"Yeah, but it's still, uh, steeping." I figured if she knew tea, she would get that one.

I was right. "Ahhh, I see. What is it? I believe I smell a broth…"

So I explained ramen. Turns out, she had something kind of similar in her own village, but definitely not the instant kind. Which I figured — for reasons. You're not ready to hear about all that.

"Okay, here," I said when it was done turning into the good stuff. I took the chopsticks and peeled off the paper fully, started stirring. "Just gotta stir it up good before you start in."

"Yes, I see," she said in a very serious tone. Why was it cute that she was serious about this? It wasn't; I just thought she was cute, so everything she did was… I'm gonna stop talking about that.

After I slurped up some noodles, I watched her carefully. Maybe this would be when I got to see her face. It was fine if she wasn't ready, or was shy, or if it was part of her tradition that monks didn't show their faces. I can relate. But if I was allowed…

No such luck. She leaned forward in such a way that her veil hung forward, so I still couldn't see her face but she was free to bring the noodles to her mouth. Then she sat back and chewed. Dang. Still, at least she seemed to like them well enough, if the way her eyes closed briefly in contentment was any indication.

"Not too hot?"

"It is very good, thank you." She let out a tiny sighing noise that may have been a burp; she was that kind of badass angel that could make even that adorable. Literally goals. But I noticed she was staring at me very intently.

"What?"

"What more can I do? Against the Primal Fear. I would really like to conquer it very soon, and help to restore peace."

"You're not ready," I told her simply, even though I was a little distracted by that thumping noise. What was it? Oh — right, it was my heart.

"I am ready. You have told me yourself that I'm the strongest Messenger you have ever seen. Is it not my duty to go and stop this darkness, so no others need to die?"

"Oh, if only it were that simple." Wow, it was so hard to endure the intensity of those eyes staring through my soul. I almost felt like I wouldn't make it. Before I knew what I was doing, I reached across the table to rest my hand on top of her clenched fist.

"Give it time. You have trained harder than anyone I've ever met, but training isn't the same as out there doing the real thing. Kick a little more butt, take a few more names, and you'll get there. You'll be ready for the Primal Fear someday."

A little at a time, the tension in her posture began to ease. I really expected her to say something like thanking me for putting everything in perspective, or for her to argue with me about it again. Instead…

"Do you like to… touch my hand?"

"Do I huh? Oh." After an awkward pause, I took my hand away. "Sorry about that. Probably should have cut that out once I was done saying my thing."

"You do not need to apologize. I'm beginning to think you care for me."

"A-ahh, well that's not-"

"I care for you, too."

Well. I'm really damn lucky she cut me off, because I had been about to deny everything. It's not my job to hit on The Messengers; it's my job to make sure they carry the scroll, that they don't come back as corpses. Even though I didn't really want to lie to anybody, it was way smarter not to get feelings complicating the whole arrangement.

Except she went and said that. Went and told me I wasn't the only one.

"Y-you do?"

"Of course. You have been so helpful to me, so wise and generous. I could not have come this far without your guidance. What kind of monster would not grow to care for you?"

I'm looking at you, ninja.

"Aww, I'm just doing what I can…"

Leaning forward intently, she said, "You must have been a very strong Messenger. I would love to spar; there is so much we could learn from each other."

"Spar? Really? You and me? I, uh… I might be a little out of practice." Not very. I mean, I still tried to keep fit, even though there's only so much you can do standing behind a desk in the shop all day. Still, I knew I couldn't drop my guard entirely; any day I might be called upon to step in again. I just hoped it wouldn't be for the usual reason.

Monk finished off another slurp of her noodles and sat back to nod eagerly at me until she was finished chewing. "Yes! Even if you are, I am sure I will still learn much!"

"Well… if you wanted to go now, we could. Probably better now than after we finish all our noodles."

"Oh, will they not grow cold?"

"I can heat 'em up again, no sweat."

So we got up and paced into the middle of the room. Have I mentioned how happy I was that she was taller than me? God, tall women are absolutely goals. She took up her staff and pointed the business end at me, though her head tilted to one side after a moment.

"You will not take off your robe?"

"Oh. Yeah, that would probably be good, even though I don't really need to." We had all trained to fight in those big blue robes. I mean, if you can't fight in your uniform, then it's obviously a pretty crappy uniform for an order of mysterious warriors, right?

When I took it off and draped it over the back of my chair, I heard a quiet noise from Monk. Of surprise, maybe? I hoped not of disappointment. But when I turned back to look at her, she was all business, ready to start smacking each other around.

"You okay?"

"Yes," she confirmed with a dutiful nod. "I am ready when you are."

So we did the martial arts thing. I'm sure you know how this goes well enough that I don't have to explain. I wasn't all that surprised that she kicked my butt from here to Glacial Peak, but I did at least put up a pretty good fight first. At some point, I tossed aside my belt and we both kicked off our shoes, and we went a lot harder than you would probably think I could, anyway. We traded bruises and bloody lips and we loved every minute.

Eventually we collapsed back into the chairs with two cups of cold water in front of us that I had grabbed before giving up on being able to move for a little while. Even though I couldn't see her mouth, Monk looked elated.

"You… have fun beating me up? Huh, bully?"

She seemed alarmed by that accusation, even if it wasn't serious. "I… I am not!" But then we both laughed breathlessly. That old thing about really getting to know somebody when you fight them? I guess it was pretty true, even though a good cup of tea and a long conversation will do a pretty similar job for you.

"Was only kidding," I panted a minute later, when we had caught our breath and downed some water.

And I know this is probably getting annoying, but if I thought she was the bee's knees before… with her face flushed and chest heaving, sweat matting her hair slightly — not to mention the strength just radiating off her in waves…

"Keeper?"

"Huh?"

"I asked if we could have a rematch another day," she repeated, eyes crinkling at the corners in amusement. I got distracted way too easily; maybe it was because I had burned up my ability to ignore how good she looked while sparring with her. Yes, normally I can keep my eyes on the prize, but watching how gracefully she fought… it tested me more than the sparring.

"You… bet we can." Another sip of water to coat my suddenly-dry throat. "Sorry… I was supposed to let you… rest."

"It is alright. You do not need to worry about me; I can resume my mission now."

"No, no way. Stay, finish the noodles, take a shower and grab a nap. Or, I mean, in whatever order…"

But Monk was already shaking her head. "I cannot take that much time away from my mission. Great evil will not wait to be vanquished; it will punish the world until we stop its progress."

"Actually… it can wait."

"What?"

"Okay, so this might be a little high-concept for you, but…" Normally, we would put her through the big challenge and unlock some new abilities — don't ask, spoilers and all — once she had proven herself before she got to know any of this, but I could give her a few basics. "Time stands still in here. More or less. So when you're in here, it's like everything has stood still out there."

The Monk blinked a few times, sitting perfectly still.

"Think about it this way; imagine you're on a surfboard-"

"No, no, I already think I understand. I am just… confused as to how this can be true. You also will not tell me where this really is, and why I can come here from so many different doorways. It is magic, yes? But what kind of magic can be so powerful?"

Damn, that would teach me to underestimate a badass amazonian warrior monk.

"That's… a secret. You might find out someday. But yeah, take a load off, rest and recuperate. Then you can head out in the morning, ready to kick primal caboose - and it will be like you never left. Trust me."

Chuckling a little at my wordplay, she said, "You are… very kind." Then she took another long drink. "Very well. I will do this, because there is wisdom in what you say; if I am exhausted, I will stumble, and cannot be the best hero for our world that I can be."

"There ya go. That's all I was trying to say."

"Do you have a hot bath? It is very good for relaxing the sore muscles."

~ o ~

"What a player."

"Hey, watch it, kid. I didn't 'play' anything."

"You got her into a bath."

"Uh, yeah, in another room. I promise, not one second did I spend in the same room as the bath. I saw nothing."

"Hmmmm."

"Do you want to hear the rest of this story or not?"

"Actually… I'm not sure. It's starting to sound like it's too personal for me to hear."

"Oh."

"What?"

"No, you're just always such a busybody that I kind of expected you to keep drinking this up like Kool-Aid."

"Like what?"

"It's… don't worry about that one. One day, you may be ready for the legend of the Purplesaurus Rex. I'll skip ahead a tiny bit."

~ o ~

Or a lot.

Like I said, not a dang thing happened other than me giving her some hospitality. Yes, I got to see what she would look like in a blue robe after her bath, which was kind of exciting in a weird way. It was like she was closer to me because she was becoming part of the Order — even though that was a ways off. Still gave me a little cold chill.

Monk had been through quite a bit by the time there was another shift. We sparred a few more times, shared meals and conversations. And she came back battered and scarred, I put her back together. She slid me all the Time Shards she found in the past and I did what I could for her with them. We were definitely friends, and probably somewhere in the best friend category, no matter what the Artificer says about him and me. The Prophet is actually his bro.

And she underwent her Trial. More on that for you when you're ready.

Don't give me that look. Be a big boy and wait your turn.

God's honest truth was, it hurt my soul a little to see her becoming a bit more jaded. Not a lot; don't get me wrong, she was still the strongest Messenger I've ever known, and brave, and like a ray of sunshine in a Dark Cave. But I could see the cracks forming in her heart that anyone got when they faced great evil day in and day out.

That's why I tried to give her so many breaks. More and more often, she would sleep on the futon I got for her, since she had outright refused to use a real Western bed; said it wasn't good for her back. I've heard it both ways, but didn't want to argue. And we laughed, trained, ate, and generally got very comfortable with each other. Even though to her, it was like we only met up once every few days. But to me, I saw her all the time — not that I'm complaining, of course.

My Monk had just come back from a particularly brutal battle in which she managed to restore Rivière Turquoise to its former glory. This time, I wanted to surprise her with something a little fancier. Don't ask me how, but I got my hands on some damn good sushi, and a bottle of sake. I knew she didn't believe in imbibing alcohol while she was on mission because it dulled the senses and ability to react, which I can't argue with, but I also knew this one was going to mean she needed to rest up and recuperate more than usual. I was grateful to steal more time with her whenever I could. Oh, I wasn't going to do anything to force that, but I sure as hell wasn't going to fight against it, either; I would just appreciate every moment we had together.

Remind me to tell you the story about the crystal pumpkin patch sometime.

She was leaning pretty heavily on her staff when she came in. I felt my stomach drop. Was she going to make it? I hurried out from behind my desk and helped her along.

"I am fine," she hissed through her teeth.

"Liar."

"I do not lie! I… I will be fine. That is the truth."

"Yeah, well… can you tell me what hurts? Your leg?" A reluctant nod as we entered my sparkly, sparkly room. Like, seriously, if you ever saw it you wouldn't be able to get over it, man. "Alright, we're officially giving you a vacation."

"I do not… want…" But a heavier wince made her bite her lips and nod. "Yes. I do not want to… fail at our mission, so I will… do as you say."

"Thank you. And hey, it's not gonna be so bad. Do you… do you wanna eat? Maybe you're not in the mood to eat."

"I must," she told me with a half-snort. I was sure she was smiling, even though I couldn't see. "If I am to heal, I must have nutrition, yes?"

So we ate. I made sure the sake was hot, both to soothe her aches and because like, it's supposed to be hot. Cold sakes are a different thing. Anyway, she told me all about her fight to help bring her buddy, the Butterfly Matriarch, in and dispel all the creepy crawlies. Fun stuff, but I'm trying to avoid that story-within-a-story thing so I'll just say she's kind of amazing. In case you haven't figured that out already.

"Ohhh, that was perfect," she sighed as she relaxed back against her chair.

"Thanks. I ordered it myself."

"So modest. You still wished for me to have this wonderful meal. I feel… appreciated. Cared for." We shared a smile, even though neither of us could see the other's mouth. We just knew. "And a little affected by the cups."

Trying to tease, I said, "Oh, you got drunk? Off just that?"

"Not 'drunk'," she huffed playfully. "I said 'affected'."

"How affected, then? Do you wanna take a nap before we get you that hot bath?"

"No. I just want to continue to speak with you, and to relax. We can do both of these together." I could see her glance at me, then away. "My arms are very sore."

"Yeah, I bet they are."

Another tiny hesitation. "I might want some help washing my back."

"Oh, right — I have a back scrubber. It's just mine, so I didn't wanna assume you would want to use it after me. Some people are funny about sharing stuff like that."

~ o ~

"WOW."

"Listen, I know you are probably all suave and cool with the ladies, Mr. Forever Alone Ninja, but I definitely didn't have any game. And hanging around alone in a shop for years on end doesn't polish that social skill, either."

"Right, but even I know when someone asks for help with washing their back, they don't mean they just want you to get them a brush."

"Yeah, yeah…"

"No, no, it's kind of cute."

"Excuse me?"

"You act so all-wise and all-knowing all the time that it's nice to hear you being very human."

"I do not act like that."

"You totally do."

"No. I'm just serious about my job."

"Then why are you always sharing stories about your eternal wisdom?"

"Not once have I said 'eternal wisdom'. I just like to contemplate the complexities of the universe, and try to unravel a few of them. I think every well-rounded mind does the same."

"Well, I don't."

"Did I stutter?"

~ o ~

Anyway, if you're through interrupting… yes, she did blink stupidly at me as if waiting for me to catch up. You might be rude, but you're not wrong.

"You… want me to…?"

"I apologise," she breathed with a low bow, her balaclava brushing the table just in front of her plate. "This was too forward of me."

"No, no way! I only… I didn't want to make any… yeah, I'm not good at this kind of thing."

"At washing another's back?"

"No, at…" I stopped when she started to giggle. "You're mocking me. Great. I really am the world's biggest idiot."

"You are not. But I think it is sweet that you do not want to… corrupt me, perhaps. You are so wise and your heart is so pure."

Trying to make myself keep talking before her praise really caught up to me and the stammering began, I blurted out, "Yours, too. I mean, you really are the best person I've ever known in my life. And I've known persons."

We both laughed a little at that last part, starting to relax. She rose from the table with some difficulty, and I was quick to put my arm around her, and hers around my neck, helping to support her as she made her way into the bathroom.

"In our temple," she began to tell me as I turned on the tap to fill the tub with hot water, dumping some bubbles in distractedly, "there is no modesty. Our order is only women, and there is nothing to fear. The males of our clan are much the same in their temple, though they are not warriors in the same way we are."

"Matriarchal society? That's pretty neato."

"We also… will take lovers, at times. Some from the other temple, some from the same temple. Some from both. All is equal to us."

The way she spoke as she began to unwind the bindings around her forearms and calves was very careful, contemplative. I could see her watching me for reactions, as if hoping I wouldn't freak out and say she came from a bunch of weirdos.

"That sounds like an amazing place," I reassured her. And I meant that from the bottom of my heart.

"Yes. One day, I may take you there if it is possible. They frown on visitors inside the temple, but I could show you the grounds."

Why did that sound like a dream come true? I mean, even though taking a tour of a hidden monk temple where they trained the world's best badasses would be cool regardless, going with her… "Yeah. Maybe once all this settles down, we can do that. Sounds like one of the best places ever."

"I have always felt this way. If not for my calling, I would love to finish my days there, making our order the greatest it can be."

"Must be nice." When I saw her reach for the lapel of her gi, I turned away and put my hand over my eyes; never can be too careful.

"You are shy."

Called out. "Well, nah. It just… it's no big deal where you're from but it is where I'm from. Especially for complicated reasons I won't go into. So I'm just gonna… not."

"I respect that," she told me deferentially. There was a quiet splash, a few more noises of shifting around in water. "I am covered. You added soap to this bath?"

When I turned back and saw that she was, indeed, up to her shoulders in suds, I let out a sigh of relief. Laugh if you will, but I was already all twitchy just from the situation as it was; I didn't think I could handle more than that. "Well, it's a special soap."

"What makes it special?"

"The way it looks and smells," I answered honestly. "I thought about bath-bombing you, but I don't have any on hand, and I already made a special trip for the sushi."

She looked over her shoulder. Of course she still had the balaclava on; even in the bath. Weird but it seemed to be a thing. "You would cause my bath to explode?"

"Oh… no, it's… nevermind." I pulled up a tiny stool and perched it behind her, picking up the soap and a washcloth and dipping it into the water. Would music be too much? I did have a jukebox… no, I decided it was too much. "Hope I'm not getting too irritating."

"Irritating? In what way?"

"Demanding you hang back and rest. I know you know it's important and don't need me telling you; I'm really not trying to parent you or anything."

Her head shook very slightly as she reached up to begin undoing her head-cone-things. That surprised me; since she left the veil on, I thought those would stay in place, too. "It is not a bother. Sometimes…" She hesitated, both with words and actions. "Sometimes I do become focused on my task and I forget to rest, especially when the task is so great."

"Oh, I don't think it's so great," I tried to joke. She only looked puzzled; I had to stop doing that. "I mean, it's rough that we have to put you through this. Crucial for our survival, but rough."

"Yes, I understand this very well. I know you would not wish to put anyone in danger if it were not important."

All I wanted was to keep my mind focused on the task at hand, and on our conversation. Not on how strong and graceful her back was, her shoulders, her slender neck… honestly, that "broke the mold" joke is stupid. I usually hate it. But with Monk? Yeah. There aren't any others like her in at least five space-time continuums — and that's just how she looks.

"Keeper?"

"Hm?"

"I said that your hands are very gentle. Was this the wrong thing to say?"

"Sorry," I laughed nervously. "Normally I'm more eloquent than this. I blame TV."

"Tee-vee?"

"Nevermind." Ugh, I said I was going to stop doing that! All she was doing was being her usual self and I was tripping all over myself like a noob. "Thanks, I'm… trying to help as best I can. It's not just a job, it's an adventure."

At least that dated reference just sounded like a normal phrase.

"This is not so adventurous," she said with a soft chuckle, her eyes smiling at me. Smizing; I got Monk smizing, I was stepping on cloud nine. "But I would have it no other way."

"Yeah, you don't want to have to jump over spike pits on your downtime, too."

"Not this. I meant…" She turned carefully in the water — I could tell it was out of respect for me and how shy I was, trying not to make me see anything I wasn't ready for. Honestly an angel. "It is an honour to share this quiet peace. I sense the sweetness of your soul, and the pains that have brought you to this place and time. Even though I have met your brothers, I do not feel this connection I feel with you."

~ o ~

"You have brothers?"

"Don't worry about that."

"I'm gonna worry about it."

"See, that's the problem with you. Even when I give you what you've been clamoring for, this extremely private story, you still complain that I'm not giving you every last niggling detail. You must be a riot at parties."

"…"

"Now stop interrupting."

~ o ~

Actually, you know what? You need to learn that actions have consequences. Even unintended actions. In this case, nagging and interrupting and generally being a bad listener aren't even unintended, so we're skipping the rest of the bath. No - don't make that face at me, you spoiled shinobi. I had a rhythm going and you threw me off, so I'm just going to advance to the next checkpoint. Maybe if you were a better audience I'd teach you how to do that in your mission. It's actually super easy.

Nope, too late now. You played yourself.

Once she was clean and I was glad I had my hood up to hide my glowing red face, she had changed into a spare robe and I tossed her outfit in the laundry. Like, that was the least I could do. We sat in front of the fireplace — hey, there's a fireplace — and relaxed in silence for a little while. When I got anxious, I put on some music from the jukebox; might as well.

"Ohhh, this is very interesting," she told me as she sipped from the water glass I also got her. Yeah, I'm a real charmer, pulling out all the stops. "I have not heard music like this before… I am not sure how to feel about it."

"Yeah, it's called hair metal."

"It is made from metal and hair?" When I was just silent, she laughed. "I am sorry. I have sensed that you are from a very different world from mine, and I am not familiar with your customs. But I have seen how you try to accommodate my ignorance."

"No, no, not ignorance. Just… okay, yeah, that is the right word. But it's only because you've never even had the chance to see my world. I'd give you a crash course, but I feel like it would be a lot of random stuff you just don't need, especially when you're trying to focus on the mission and all."

Monk crossed her legs comfortably. When the hem pulled up past her foot, I had a random thought: that bare ankle would really get me going if I was from a bygone period of history… but then I realized that I was in a bygone period of history from my own perspective.

Yes, there's your big spoiler: I'm from an advanced civilization. You should be able to figure that out by looking around this shop.

"And after my mission?"

"What?"

"When I am finished battling the Primal Fear and any other forces of darkness; when I restore peace. May I return to hear about your world?"

I don't know why this caught me by surprise. Honestly, it shouldn't have; we got along pretty well, but I still was shook. "You'd want to come back?"

"Of course. Are we not becoming friends?"

"Yeah! I mean, of course, I could consider us pretty good friends by now. I just didn't want to assume… I mean, it could be a work-friends deal."

"Work-friends?"

"You know, we're comrades-in-arms. Doesn't have to mean we want to hang out after the war is over… but I would, for sure," I was quick to reassure her. I didn't want to even leave one second in which she thought I was done when this was done.

"Ahh, yes, I understand this." She bowed her head slightly. "Thank you for considering my feelings. Even if…"

My heart froze as I waited for her to respond. Finally, I said, "Even if…?"

"Even if you do not understand them. I thought I was making them clear. But I know it is perhaps not what you expected — especially from a woman. Our masters teach us that not everyone's minds are as open as those of our order-"

"I'm gonna stop you there. Where I'm from, most people are open like that. A few are still stuck in the bigoted past of our own region, sure, but… you're not scaring me off. In fact, I…"

Now it seemed to be Monk's turn to hold her breath. I felt bad seeing her lean toward me a little and whisper, "Yes?"

"Sorry. I've actually never felt like this about anyone before. Didn't think I could. So I just… normally I know what to say, but I never developed this skill."

"Do you?" She looked away slightly. I mean, the opening of her hood did; I could tell even less what she was thinking or feeling with that hood up. Makes me sympathize with even you. "I had told myself that my heart was foolish. You were not from our world, your women did not accept feelings from women, or… you only felt friendship for me. I would have understood."

"Oh, same, same," I reassured her quickly. "We really- sheeze, this is some sitcom BS."

"Hm?"

Leaning over, I took one of her hands. Hard as it was to push through my hangups and self-esteem issues when it came to this kind of thing, no way was I going to leave it up to Monk to make every move. This was about both of us; it should be both of us moving forward. I might look lazy sitting behind my counter all day every day, but no. I'm not lazy. I don't believe in laziness at all.

"If you're sure… then yes. I'm right there with you."

Her breath caught, and her other hand came up to hold onto both of ours. Her hands were somehow both soft and rough; a result of her being so gentle but training so hard. I kinda loved that.

"Then we are here together."

"I guess so. I don't know where 'here' is gonna be, but I'm… I am absolutely ready to find out if you are."

Monk laughed at me a little as we both stood up. "This is a simple journey, Keeper. I have traveled it before, though the destination was a parting. Perhaps with you… we will not part."

"So, a lot of guys in your past?" I guessed. She shook her head. "Girls?"

No comment. Instead, all she did was push our hoods together and…

~ o ~

"What, no interruption?"

"Are you kidding? You made it pretty clear I was interrupting too much before."

"Wow. He CAN be taught."

"But I do have to confess, I'm… surprised about a couple of things."

"Go on?"

"Well, first of all… you know."

"What?"

"…"

"I mean, does it really matter? Whichever of the two things that are immediately coming to mind. I don't think either of them matter in the long run."

"I suppose it doesn't. Especially since we're supposed to be worrying about defeating evil, not morality."

"Morality. Right."

"But I hope you two are happy together."

"Yes, well… that's another story for another time. Not this one in this time."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Nah, it's fine. I haven't even explained the rest of what happened. But you should probably get going; there's a lot of violent jerks out there to take down."

"Yes, I do want to stop the Demon King. But take care of yourself, alright?"

"Always do."

"And I'll be back for what happened later."

"Oh, I know. You never seem to get enough of these stories, no matter what I do to discourage you from asking me to tell them. So I'm sure I'll see you again soon."

"I'm sure you will."

~ o ~

Okay. He's gone. I wasn't about to tell that little pervy ninja all the sordid details; it would distract him too much from the mission. But you? I guess I could let you hear the rest. Obviously you're still here, so you must have an insatiable curiosity.

No, not the ninja. You. Can't you tell I'm talking to you now?

All the Monk did was push our hoods together and ghost her lips over mine. Such a simple start to something so powerful. My experiences were very limited but I knew enough to know this was bigger than anything else I had experienced before.

That was without my poor brain trying to figure out how in the hell I got Monk interested in me. Monk. We didn't even know each other's names! I know that in the end, a name can only tell you so much about a person, but it still seems like some kind of prerequisite for a meaningful relationship.

"I have been too forward."

"No, no," I was very quick to reassure her as my hand moved up to rest on her shoulder. "Just forward enough. One of us has to do something or we'll never get anywhere."

We stood awkwardly for a long moment, trying to figure out where to go from there. We shared another kiss, a little longer, a little more firm. Her lips were as soft as the pressure was strong, and I was living for that contrast. Our hands explored each other's bodies through those blue robes that served a function we both felt was becoming increasingly unimportant in this current moment.

"How… will we proceed?"

"Huh?"

Voice coming over a little shy, she continued quietly, "I… think you have figured out by now that you cannot see my face. My clan will not allow it. And neither will yours, is it not true?"

"It's… discouraged, yeah." My fingers ghosted over lips I could not see in the darkness under her hood. "And I really wish that wasn't the same, because I bet you're the most beautiful woman on the planet. Maybe a few planets."

At least I could make her laugh. But the laughter turned sad towards the end. I knew she was fighting certain feelings and needs warring within herself, and I wanted nothing more than to push a button and solve that war for her. No human as phenomenal as her should have to endure such inner conflict. But the world is a crappy place sometimes.

"We… cannot. But perhaps if there were no lights…"

She had a good point. That was about the only way we could probably move forward. So I reached both hands over my head… and clapped twice, plunging my room into utter darkness save for the dim flicker of the fire in the fireplace.

"What- what is this magic?"

"The Clapper. It's an ancient artifact from another reality; pretty mundane stuff there. But if you ordered one, they would give you a second one for free - you just had to pay separate processing and handling."

"Oh I see. I should not be impressed, and so I am not." The playfulness in her voice sent a tingle down my spine. "Have you trained in darkness to sharpen your senses?"

"Yeah. It's been a while, but…"

Maybe I imagined it, but there was a slight lilt in her voice as her hand slid down my forearm to take mine. "I will lead you."

She led me. Even though she had only been in my room a handful of times, she pulled me through the darkened room over to my bed as if this were her room and I was the guest. I don't know about you, but that kind of confidence does things for me. Butterfly-stomach things.

"Can your clapper extinguish the fire? There is still some light."

Knowing it was corny as hell, I leaned in to whisper, "Nothing can extinguish my fire." At least it worked; she kissed me again with no waiting, hands clasping at my back and shoulders.

The best part was, we both forgot to care about anything else as the passion roared, our need to be as close as we could be overpowering our caution and duty to preserve our secrets. Or modesty for that matter. The firelight was low enough that I still couldn't see her face; just outlines of shapes. But I knew if I could see more I would think her no less beautiful than I already did.

Even with our hormones cranked to eleven, there was a brief intermission once we were bare to each other and our bodies pressed flush.

"Oh? O-oh."

"Monk-"

"I… I see. You truly are from another world."

"Sorry, I know I might not be what you expected. Say the word and we can put those robes back on, or I can go check to see if your gi is dry."

I more felt than saw her head shaking as she kissed her way down my chest. "Do you think I cannot rise to such a simple challenge as this? How you underestimate me."

"No, never. I'm just trying not to overestimate me."

"You do not," she breathed kindly against my hip before kissing it. And that was it. No messy overreactions, no long talks needed. We connected and it was pretty great.

Acceptance can mean everything sometimes.

Not to get too detailed, and I'm still not going to get as detailed as you might wish I would, but neither of us is known for slacking off exactly. We were fit and we were determined, and it took a couple of hours and a dozen different positions before we were both satisfied completely. Even then, we still lay panting on our backs with some of our limbs entwined, not wanting to be too far from each other.

"Well… that was a thing."

"It was a very good thing. I… I am relieved that I did not do anything… which did not please you."

"Huh? Oh, it's all good. I'm not even usually that interested in, uh, in this. But you're different. You… make me want so much more."

Monk rolled to curl her form around me, and I tell you what, I almost started it all off again. I wanted to, and felt like I could have, which is pretty rare for me, to be honest. She just felt that phenomenal. "I am different?"

"N-not in a bad way. Not at all."

"Yes. Well, I feel the same for you; I am… delighted at our differences. Exploring this with you was very enlightening, and… and I have very much enjoyed every revelation."

Man, when was the last time I smiled this much? I don't know. Probably never. "Right back at you." Experimenting with a very unfamiliar action, I kissed her temple, and she hummed her appreciation. So that went well, I guess.

"You have given me so much. Today, you have given me something twice."

"Oh, so that was twice. Cool. I wondered if… well, you made beautiful noises and all, but it didn't have to mean-"

"It did mean this," she reassured me, and we both laughed a little. "I have another question."

"Shoot."

"It is really alright for me to rest? I feel restless, as if I must confront the evil right now. But you have assured me that time will not pass here. If… this is really true…"

I turned to face her. In the dark. Why? Don't ask me, it was a natural reaction. "Yeah, it is. Why, what's up?"

"Then I would choose to stay with you for another day."

"Why?" Another automatic reaction; I tried to fix that. "I mean, u-uh, yeah. Yeah, definitely. There's no one to come into the shop since you're the current Messenger, so I don't really have to go to work. And… there's nowhere else I'd rather be than this bed, with you."

Listen. It might have been a line, but some of that stuff just comes out naturally when you catch the big L-word. And I was pretty sure I was terminal.

"You cannot mean this." She hesitated, then pressed that goddamn hot yoga body right up against me even harder. "But if you do, only after passing one night together, then I will stay."

"You'll stay," I agreed, unable to believe my ears. "A-and, uh… don't worry, we'll robe up again when we have to move."

"Thank you. I want to see your face, and I have known your desire to see mine is strong. If not for the ways of my clan…"

I nodded. "Yeah, I get it. And it's not as hard and fast for mine; more like a suggestion to keep things clean and easy. But it only feels right that we both respect it so it's not, y'know, one-sided."

"Yes, I understand this feeling. But if you wanted to show me, I would feel no anger."

"Noted." That teasing hand between my thighs made me hiss, "Wow, you are- this is more than I expected."

"You are more than I expected. And you are ready for another… sparring session?"

"I, uh… I really don't think we should call it that." Feeling bold, I moved my hand to the corresponding area on her body, and I probably enjoyed her gasp of surprise a little too much. Oh well. "Seems like we're in the same boat."

I could just barely hear a laugh — because she was busy rolling over on top of me, kneeling, her hips over my hips. Then to my surprise, she started raising one of my legs up to drape over her shoulder, shifting herself sideways until she was positioned above my thigh still resting on the bed. And if that doesn't paint a good enough word picture for you, well, I'm not going to try again.

"You are familiar with… the Splitting Bamboo?"

"I… I, uh…" I had read the Kama Sutra, yes. Did I remember every position? No. I just never imagined I would need to know them for any reason, at all. Not until this phenomenal Monk entered my life and did her best to turn it upside-down.

"You will become familiar with it. Tonight."

Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy…

  EPILOGUE

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what? That we're playing Twenty Questions? Oh — right, because we're not doing that."

"That you were sending me off to fight your ex-girlfriend."

"You know what? This, right here. This is the reason you're not even my favorite ninja from the village. Rock Lesieur would have been way less of a pain in the tail…"

"…"

"Fine. Yes, the Queen of Quills is the Monk. Or at least… I'm certain of it now."

"You weren't before?"

"Just had a fairly strong feeling she was."

"Shopkeeper, I will search for a way to get her out of that swamp."

"Marsh."

"What?"

"It's a marsh, not a swamp."

"What's the difference?"

"Swamps have more trees. In fact, they should have a lot of trees, while marshes usually just have shrubbery, et cetera. And fungi, as you probably picked up on."

"Oh. Wow, learn something new every day."

"Don't try to sound smart now that you just had your ignorance gap filled."

"…okay, I'm going."

"Wait."

"What?"

"Thanks. For offering. I don't really believe there is a way to save her now that she's been so far gone for so long, but… maybe the fact that her form is…"

"…"

"Nevermind. I'm not getting my hopes up. Just go do what you do best."

"I'll try. See you soon."

"Fingers crossed."

~ o ~

Listen, I know I'm a little harsh on the kid. But he needs it if he's ever going to be a big strong Blue Robe.

A little bow on top of this story — just for you, not for him. The last thing a guy like that who already has a swelled head needs is yet more swelling. Therefore, he doesn't get to know the full details of this ending.

We did the thing. Every last scrap of evil we could find on Messenger Island had been eradicated. And of course, the issue was, there was no time while we were busy trying not to wind up as scurubu-chow for my old flame and I to reconnect and decide how we felt about everything. Crazy how near-apocalypses can kill the mood like that.

While everybody was patting each other on the back, and old Phantom was trying to catch up on all he missed thanks to the efforts of the Artificer and the Prophet's conversational skills, I managed to steal Monk away to my room — where Ninja still couldn't follow us. Don't worry, he and Iron Hood were chatting about collectible figurines or some crap; they were occupied. Nobody was a total wallflower in this we-defeated-Demon King-finally celebration.

"Keeper of my Heart!" she breathed as soon as the door was closed, throwing her arms around me. That familiar weight, the firm muscle beneath her soft, well-worn gi, breathed new life into me that I hadn't even noticed was absent when she was absent. It was like a rebirth.

"Shhh, shhh," I soothed her when I heard the tears begin. Someone so strong and she was breaking for me… or maybe she was strong enough to break around another person. "I got you, Monkey. Oh geeze, I missed you so much…"

By the time we could actually talk again, I had brewed us some non-Astral tea and we were sitting in my new chairs. Oh yeah, I got new chairs; they had slight cushions to the seats. I decided there was no reason to sit on rigid wood when you could add a dash of comfort. At the same time, I didn't want to add too much comfort, or they would be… you aren't listening. You stopped listening and at this point, I'm almost entirely certain you are skimming through this paragraph to see where the next interesting development comes about. Fine, I guess I won't mince words, since you don't appreciate them anyway. Unless you did legitimately read this far, then all is forgiven, naturally.

"Have you told the others?"

"Huh? Told them what?"

She dipped her head the tiniest bit in chagrin. Shoot me, but that was the cutest thing ever. "Of who we are to each other."

"Are? I mean, I haven't seen you in… it really has been a long time. Even here. So I've just been mourning on my own time, when I haven't been hand-holding that cloud-stepping goofball out there."

"He is not so bad," she laughed softly, her balaclava rustling slightly as she looked down into her cup. "After all… he made it possible for you and I…"

She had me there. I leaned forward on my forearms to whisper, "I would babysit for his kids for the rest of my life if that was what it took. And I hate kids."

"Ah, yes, I remember you mentioning this to me. No matter." She took a contemplative sip before setting the cup down on the table. "Keeper, I want to tell them."

"Tell them what?" She just blinked. "Oh, about that. Why? Do we really need to complicate things by-"

"I am proud to be close to you. For us to have paired our hearts together for all time. Are you not proud of the very same?"

Well, when she put it like that… "That's not what this is. Of course I wouldn't mind having the hottest Monk in the world on my arm, but I kind of also… like… it's silly."

"Tell me."

"I like having you all to myself. My little secret — me being your little secret. But…" I sighed, turning my own teacup. "You're right. It's been fun, but we lost too much time. I don't want to waste more trying to be cagey and sneak around, when we can just come out to everybody as here-and-queer."

"We are coming somewhere queer?"

"Hey, we tried that once, and it was uh… different," I half-joked. But then, of course, I did the legit explaining. "But this time, what I meant was, uh, that we aren't a 'traditional couple' according to some people. They might look at us funny. But I would never let that stop me, and I know in your culture it's not even a thing, anyway."

The corners of her eyes crinkled in vague bemusement. And love. It still struck me temporarily dumb to see so much affection in those deep, contemplative eyes of hers.

"I know you would not. For you are far braver than most of those who wear the blue robe think. I know that if your ninja had failed to save me, you would have done it yourself."

"Oh yeah? And how do you know that? You act like I'm just such a useless gay that-"

Her fingers were suddenly covering my mouth, which she found so easily despite the presence of my hood. Closer and closer, she slid as she pressed me down into my chair, and I was so mesmerized by her eyes…

…that I almost missed a magical new detail. The faintest hint out of the corner of my eye of beautiful lips, ones I still had yet to see until that second, forming words that spawned brand new butterflies.

"Not useless. Never useless to me, Keeper of my Heart."

Then she was kissing me, and I couldn't worry that I had seen more than I should have, or that she was going to be mad, or that her clan was going to throw her out, or any of that. All I could think was that she was beautiful, she was strong, she was wise, she was… everything. Whatever crazy notion made her think I was worthy of her, it would be really stupid to look a gift-horse in the mouth.

Because against all the odds, I had my Monk back. That was the gift that kept on giving.

Which is the end of this story. There are other stories, about her donning the blue robes for good, and then there was this thing with an alternate dimension because their Corrupted Future was trying to spread, and those two worlds… but I'm putting a pin in those. Not even you could handle most of them, anyway, much less my hapless Ninja friend. Maybe someday, you'll be ready.

And not just for the stories.

Just promise me, when it's your turn… don't be so oblivious you can't figure out the scroll is a map. I mean, seriously, who doesn't open a scroll when carrying it for days on end? Some people are just born clueless. Don't be those people.

Be like my Monk. Flawless. Yeah, do that.

THE END

[beri-allen]

fic tag game

got tagged by @burntblueberrywaffles. thank you <333 doing this while i'm in a good mood lol.

How many works do you have on Ao3? 31 published ones (i have deleted at least 1 and orphaned 4 or something).

2. What's your Ao3 word count? 161,653 in total.

3. What fandoms do you write for? wednesday (the latest one), some kdramas, and i have also written for ouat and hannibal. back on lj, i used to write a lot for house md.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Slow, Long, and Excruciatingly Painful (Wednesday (TV 2022))

You Have Shrunk to the Size of My Thoughts (Wednesday (TV 2022)) 

I Predict a Riot (Wednesday (TV 2022)

Stop (Wednesday (TV 2022))

I Carried You for Aching (Crash Landing on You) 

5. Do you respond to comments? yes! comments always make me happy and i appreciate readers who take the time to drop comments, so i want to take the time to respond to them.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? maybe... Stop (wednesday)?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? omg, i just realized most of my fics end happily, so idk what to pick lol. but maybe either I Carried You for Aching (crash landing on you) or Magic Hours (memories of the alhambra) because they're both fix-it fics where i resurrect a character from literal and figurative canon death lol.

8. Do you get hate on fics? i'm not sure i can call it a full-on hate, but someone got snippy under one of my "wednesday" fics once. i already deleted it because it made me upset but i still remember what it said and who it was from because i'm a libra and petty, lol.

9. Do you write smut? What kind? when i think smut is needed in a story, i will write it. not an expert, though, so i tend to write super vanilla smut scenes lol.

10. Do you write cross-overs? no, because i don't really read cross-overs, so i don't write it.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated? yes. my old house x cameron (house md) fic that was posted on lj got translated to italian.

12. Have you ever cowritten a fic before? no.

13. What WIP you would like to finish, but doubt you ever will? i talked about it before. the first line is still incomplete, and it goes like this:

"Three goddesses walked into a cave. The monster who lived in it asked,"

the monster is tyler galpin. i doubt i will ever write it because i don't have the motivation right now and i need a lot of motivation to write it, because the story is supposed to be kind of... filthy lol.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship? oh, oh, dear. umm. for now, i will choose philip x elizabeth from "the americans" because the show is already ending and it's a happy one, sort of.

15. What are your writing strengths? i'm basing this entirely on comments i got, lol. i think it's my prose? feel free to refute this, lol.

16. What are your writing weaknesses? i can't write long fics. so far, the longest one i've written "only" has 7 chapters.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? why not?

18. First fandom you wrote for? ig the first one i religiously wrote for is house md (house x cameron). but the last time i checked on these fics, i completely, utterly forgot the plots etc lol. i don't think i want to associate myself with them anymore.

19. Favourite fic you've ever written? maybe i will choose my wednesday x tyler "practical magic" au, I Put a Spell on You, because it's my longest one so far and i'm proud to have finished it. and not sure it's my favorite, but Oh God, I Think I'm Falling (wednesday) has the longest smut scene i've done so far, and i had fun writing that part, so. 

20. What fic would you want to rewrite one day? none, i think.

i'd like to tag @badmoodbatflowers, @cosmic-lullaby @nouklea, @transitat, @therulerofallpotatos & of course anyone who wants to do this.

[true-blue-sonic]

For the ask game: 17, 18, 19 & 20

17. How do you overcome writers block or imposter’s syndrome?

I think having a good idea about what I want to write is nice. It helps to just ramble with friends about things I like to talk about (such as Espilver haha), to see if anything inspiring comes out of it that I'd like to write, in my opinion! As for imposter syndrome, I'm not sure🤔 I guess accepting that it's better to write for yourself than for an not-guaranteed audience is important, because then you feel rewarded by writing and not by the comments and attention that you're not at all certain to get. But, do try to get a friend who is just as deep into the blorbo rabbit hole as you are. The best, most touching and cutest stories I have written for only me and a friend who I rp with, focusing on our own world and the characters we both adore. That is guaranteed attention and adoration for the writing! :>

18. Would you ever consider rewriting your older fics? Which fics would you like to revisit and why?

Maybe Belong? I tried to read it once and I couldn't get through it, I can't stand my writing style from back then XD But it did introduce Venice, and he's a sweetheart <3 I would change quite a few things though: I'd completely cut out the Restoration and I'd definitely have to look into Eggman and the Chaos Emeralds, I remember I found myself completely stuck there. But it's a short little fic to start with!

And considering my stance on New Beginnings... maybe, maybe that one. If I ever find myself with endless time, lmao. I am sure I can make it be more than 195k words if I do XD

19. Do you reread your fics after you publish them? Why or why not?

I'm quite poor at rereading my fics, so... I guess all of them, haha! I rarely get comments on old fics that I completely forgot even existed. But that is fun, then I read it again to see what it's about ^-^

20. Share some writing advice!

WRITE THINGS DOWN. If you get an idea, write it down. It has happened far too often to me that I have a nice piece of dialogue or action tags in my mind when I'm in bed, and I'm like "Meh, I'll remember that tomorrow! :D" and then I go to sleep.

I never, ever, ever remember. Write it down!!

[shiny-jr]

Oh my gosh I just took the damnation quiz and IT WAS SO GOOD. I read all the results and I am patiently sitting and waiting for more with immense excitement (especially Pomefiore and Diasomnia. You write Vil so well). I am super curious to see the roles MC will play in those fics. Iirc both the evil queen and Maleficent had a crow henchman that seems like a great fit, but also the invented role for Diviner was 10/10 and I would be so curious to see what you come up with, especially for Pom as some of the major roles at the Queen's side are already represented in the dorm.

In the quiz the endingsvwere all fantastic, but I especially adored the Riddle ending. The King of Hearts idea feels so obvious once you wrote it but I have never seen anyone use the idea before. The general dynamic was just AAAAHHHH. I also loved how MC interacted with the other characters. I screamed when Cater dropped the tea about the old king of hearts. I might have been converted into a Riddle fan--

I read your fics on Quotev back in the day (Possession of Malign was a fav of mine) and it was always a mood of "finally some good f--cking food" I am so glad I found your work again. :))) Hope you are having a great day and thanks again for sharing your lovely work!

Ah, I wish I got a little further on Scarabia's chapter but I've started classes so it's gonna take even longer to write (because they dumped work on the first day, WHO DOES THAT?). Anyways, I'll get it out eventually, I'll probably have a tiny bit of time to write on Friday and the weekend. Maybe. Hopefully. Pray for me y'all.

To be honest, I haven't decided what Diasomnia's mc will be because I haven't gotten that far. At the moment I'm trying to go in order, but if I get an idea that I really want to write, I'll switch over to the draft doc for the other dorm and start writing what I want to before switching back to where I was before. And actually, I had a sneak-peek for Pomefiore and Scarabia's part before! It was in the first one with the Heartslabyul sneak-peek, but I decided to remove the two and just update sneak-peeks in order, with each being about ten pages, more or less. Pretty generous and lengthy sneak-peeks, if I do say so myself. But the Pomefiore one will be up later, the Scarabia one will be first (again, when I have time to write for it).

But I'm glad you enjoyed the quiz and the results! I think Heartslabyul appears to be the fan favorite at the moment. Hoping to copy the goodness and intensity I had for that result into Scarabia, but again, we'll see.

Also another Quotev user that's giving me flashbacks? I started writing that stupid fic when I was in middle school, but I didn't publish it until early high school. That's insane though, I forgot that piece existed. Okay, moving on, I hope that when the next results are completed, that you may enjoy them! Thank you for reading my works, even the older ones!

[lemongingerart]

The escape, part 1 till 4.1

THIS POST IS TO COMPLETE ALL CHAPTERS ON TUMBLR! I've shared these chapters of my fanfic in links before, but never the full text. So nothing new to read, alas... (but, I'm working on the publication of arc 2 very soon, I swear 😇)

Summary: The first arc of my Armitage Hux x OC fanfic, working title "shattered ambitions, rebuilt into dreams." or, "chocolate cookies and tarine tea" depending on my mood 🤔💁.

Rating: Explicit. This is the NSFW version (first 2 chapters are SFW). So, Minors, do NOT read or interact. 18+. Family, friends and colleagues, please don't read this. :'-)

Tags & warnings: TRoS fix-it (kind of), Hux!lives, Hux doesn't like Kylo, Not a Redemption Arc, maybe a little bit, shameless OC insert (there are cliches but entertaining ones imo), slow emotional burn, medium sexual burn, Enemies to Enemies With Benefits to Lovers, Hux is a villain with villainous thoughts at first, but let's see what a different environment will do, Choking, Virgin Characters, Masturbation in Shower, and out of the shower too, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Past Child Abuse, Very short suicide mention.

I will add tags as we proceed in the story, please let me know if I forgot one!

From chapter 3 on: mentions of choking, non-consent actions, vague sexual thoughts From chapter 4 on: NSFW - mentions of sex, non-consent plans, masturbation, Hux is a manipulative asshole and a shy coward at the same time. Has shady plans. I love him.

A/N:

Hello there!

I wrote this little fanfic about 2 years ago, to get my very vivid daydreams under control. I wasn't really planning on publishing this, but it feels wrong just to have it catching digital dust on my drive. So recently, I picked it up again and started to flesh out the parts that were still missing. I haven't finished it at all, but at least the first arc is done, so I can update that one on a regular basis!

The initial fic started as smut, but somehow I've written more action scenes than lemons. And worldbuilding. And fluff. And character development. So, this has no genre? There *is* a main plot, but there are filler episodes as well to just explore the character's interactions, or just because I like to add easter eggs to my version of this vast Star Wars universe.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! And bear with me, English is not my native language. I never thought myself to be a fanfic writer at all, but I sincerely hope this is as entertaining for you as it is for me. Constructive comments are always welcome! I love to hear your thoughts and learn what I can improve!

(Also the first paragraph is kind of heavy, but it's the character's fault I swear!)

Chapter 1 - escape destiny

First Order star destroyer Steadfast , 35 ABY.

Allegiant general Enric Pryde was not a fool. From the moment he and his armada came out of the unknown regions, to reinforce the current First Order military fleet known to the galaxy, he knew. His guidance was needed for the survival of the order. 

He had watched those two immature boys for some time now, seeing how their positions within the First Order had changed. He knew that Ren was the one illegally seizing power and trying to sidestep Hux, just because he could. He saw the rivalry grow, leaving Ren and Hux bickering over the most futile decisions. It was corrupting the order, as the emperor had foreseen. 

After Snoke’s fall, there was no clear vision left, no straight path to victory any more. At least not without him, that is.

He knew his chance to seize command would come soon. Ren was now too occupied with the Jakku girl, and Hux's frustrations towards Ren’s chaotic behaviour grew every time they collided. Pryde was not happy either with the self-proclaimed supreme leader’s decisions, but at least he could use them for his own good. Hux, on the contrary, was barking like a caged Akk dog, bitterly knowing he’ll be the first to fall after his failure at Starkiller base. His misstep on D’Qar, letting the dreadnought Fulminatrix get destroyed, left a second stain on his career as well. 

Pride inwardly smiled. Hux used to be a prodigy, but he lacked experience and was too frustrated with his loss of power, and that caught onto him. And now, it appears he has no backbone to cope with the sticky situation he was in. It was like Hux's late father once mentioned to him, back when their paths crossed in the unknown regions. His son has no spine and is not made for this life. 

Thinking back at that particular conversation, it was actually surprising he lasted this long. 

Lately, Pryde noticed that Hux even stopped stating his concerns to Ren. He seemed beaten, or at least, that was the impression he was trying to make. And Ren, he was growing more and more insane. That boy was even worse to work with, a loose cannon on deck, only kept there by the emperor because he is supposed to be some part of a prophecy. Pryde suspected that the emperor’s plan for Ren would soon become clear to him. He hoped it didn't involve him having to keep answering to that short tempered idiot.

He stopped his trajectory when he arrived at the middle of the bridge, and peered outside through the front view.

It was only a matter of time for him to take over from those two foolish boys playing toy army. And then, nothing would stand in his way to shape the universe to the vision of the one true emperor. Pryde’s own flavor included, of course.

But first, he needed to catch the culprit who got word to the Resistance about Exegol. Although Hux reassured him that his men are trained well and fully indoctrinated with the first order's philosophy, he had his doubts. Lately, rumours reached him about Phasma being the one who had assassinated Hux’ father, Brendol. The fact that Armitage Hux and Phasma had been seen together more frequently, before her demise, was another big red warning sign for him. 

He had decided to keep a close eye on both of them already a while ago. Now, Phasma was eliminated, and the spy continued leaking information. 

He assumed Hux's changed behaviour towards Ren was no coincidence either. He had seen the ginger boy in action before, scheming and working his way up. He was not to be underestimated, and the fact that Ren was taking every actual decisive power out of Hux’s hands, wasn’t going to be digested well by the latter. 

Yes, the leader of the first order's army and former supervisor of Starkiller base was his number one suspect.

The hiss of the bridge's main entrance woke Pride from his speculative thoughts.

A trooper squad approached the Allegiant General, bringing forth a prisoner.  “Sir, we have found another one. As requested, we brought her here”, the first trooper reported. “Ah, the emperor will be pleased", Pryde replied. He turned to another officer standing to the left of him and replied: "Officer Trach, can you prepare the test?” Trach nodded curtly and turned around.

The handcuffed girl looked at Pryde with fierce amber eyes and spilled a waterfall of angry words: “Let me go! I didn’t mean to slice into the system, I was just experimenting! I didn’t do anything wrong, you’ll see! There wasn’t anything interesting to find anyway!”. She slightly heaved from the outburst.

Pryde looked over his shoulder and looked down upon the rather short prisoner. What a... rude chatterbox..., he amusingly thought. Such noise for such a small girl.

“Oh, but you’re not here because you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s because of what you might do in the future,” he responded, his face sporting a wry smile. Trach had joined his flank, and Pryde took the test device from the officer. The two troopers, who were escorting the struggling girl, routinely forced her on her knees, not waiting for Pryde’s orders. One of them took her right arm and pulled up her sleeve. She tried to fight back and snarled: ‘Hey, let me go! You’re hurting me!’ to her assaultants, who were struggling to keep her pinned on her position.

Pryde approached her, pulling back her head by her hair. She groaned, but found the strength to spit straight in his face. The allegiant general backed up, letting out a low growl. He wiped away the spit from his cheek with his gloves. 'You insolent bi-…' he started saying, instantly pushing the test device to the skin of her arm and definitely applying more force than necessary. He kept his distance this time, making sure he wasn't going to be covered in spit a second time. She looked him in his eyes, as if she could strike him down glaring. He chuckled, this was one of the reasons why he didn’t delegate the tests, whenever his schedule permitted it; he liked what was coming next. She was a fiery one, full of life, but not for long. 

He pressed the trigger with force, and enjoyed the way he saw her face flinch. Her eyes went teary and lost focus. Ah, he savoured that feeling of power. “You see, eventually, everyone ends up the same way.” he stated with a sly smile, releasing the trigger and giving back the apparatus to Trach.

The girl fell limp and landed face first on the immaculate deck.

Pryde turned around and went over to the center of bridge, reminiscing about moments like these, when the test subjects started to lose their consciousness. These tests were a great reminder of how he could toy with the lives he overpowered. And power, he craved.

“Report me if the midichlorian test confirms the reported values” he routiniously said. Trach nodded and took the device elsewhere.

At that exact moment, Pryde heard the repulsor doors to the bridge open again. He turned around, seeing his number one suspect and adversary approaching. 

He raised his eyebrow, confused and intrigued by this new turn of events. General Hux was limping, his leg hastily bandaged. Blood was already seeping through his uniform pants, the wound clearly caused by a blaster shot. 

Pryde noticed that the general looked even paler than usual, and somehow he lost some of his annoying pride and charisma. Not that he had much of both left lately. Of course, given the situation, he didn’t expect anything else from that overconfident boy. He always thought he was worthless, only thriving because there used to be a void in the first order’s leading positions. It appears he's not resilient enough to cope with a few setbacks , he mused. As I expected. 

He could admit though that Armitage was smart, smarter than his father, but Pryde had lived longer than him. He saw how the galactic empire had brought order to the galaxy, by ending the clone wars. He saw dozens of people with ambition come and go. The higher their aim, the greater the fall. The emperor saw through them time and time again, together with his counseling. This time, it was Hux’s turn to fall and - finally - his own time to rise.

 'It was a coordinated incursion, allegiant general', Hux recited, his voice trembling either by anger or by fear. Maybe both, Pryde considered, thinking back about his earlier train of thoughts. 'They overpowered the guards and forced me to take them to their ship.' 

Liar , Pryde thought, feeling strangely satisfied. This was it. The opportunity he was waiting for. Hux's half-baked excuse was exactly what he needed; he just presented Pryde with perfect leverage to bring him down . It seems I was right all along, and even if he's not the spy after all, I will make sure everyone believes he was. This is the perfect moment . 

 'I see', Pryde responded dryly.

 'Get me the supreme leader,'' he requested his communication officer. 

That exact same moment, he took the blaster from the nearest trooper and swiftly turned around, shooting Hux right in the stomach. His target’s body immediately flew backwards and landed several meters further, carried by the force of the blast.

The allegiant general was thrilled by the rush of action, but quickly tried to hide it from his subordinates. He still had it in him. He had to play this game to the end…

 'Tell him I found the spy,' he stated to the communication officer. 

A sense of pride and self indulgence overcame him. 'Throw the traitor's body in the trash compactor, where he belongs', he loudly stated, making sure he was heard by the very soldiers Hux had recruited and had overseen their training for decades. 

He eliminated his first rival, now it's time to move onward to the second one, Ren. 

Pryde turned towards the empty void of space, feeling the adrenaline rush slowly fading from his veins.

'Sir, what about the girl?' He heard officer Trach ask. Pryde looked up to him and turned to the side deck. He almost forgot about her. The captive was still on the floor, staring with wide eyes at the place Hux had stood, just half a minute ago. She looked pale, as if she saw a ghost. Heh . He thought. Seems like she lost that boldness already. It only took just one kill for her to witness, just that bit, to silence her. As I expected from a mere civilian.  He replied: 'Lock her up as usual. Until the results are confirmed, we don't know if she can onboard the shuttle’.

What the kriff… What's happening? First I get abducted by some creepy hooded individuals, then I seem to be on some dank first order flagship, and now this bastard forces me down and gives me this shot from a device that looked way too fragging big to be medically responsible… which was shukking painful by the way… and my head is spinning so hard.. .

Miko shortly lost her consciousness from the blood that was quickly pulled from her veins. She didn't feel the smack when her head hit the shiny black durasteel floor, everything went dark for a few seconds. 

When she regained her sight, she saw two black boots turning away from her. A moment later  after the deafening sound of the blood rushing in her ears stopped, she could hear the typical sound of a repulsor steered door opening. She didn’t feel completely conscious yet, but the adrenaline rushed her senses on full alert in no time. Someone had entered the bridge, she assumed, as that old bastard was not paying attention to her any more. 

Good, maybe she could come up with some plan, or at least get a clue of what the frack was going on here. 

She righted her head and turned towards the newcomer. Her whole body was loudly complaining, refusing her to fully lift up her head, so she turned it to the side. She couldn't really understand what they were saying, her ears were still buzzing. But somehow, she could feel the tension rising fast. It was like the atmosphere was getting electrically charged. She saw the older one of the duo, the one that just kriffing harassed her, turn around again, stepping away from the younger one and taking the blaster from the trooper next to him.

W-whoa...wwait! Don't shoot! She tried to yell, but nothing came out. She had tried to reach out with her hand, as if she could stop the grey-haired bastard from shooting the red-haired douchebag, but her body just didn't respond to her commands like it should. 

The officer fully took the shot and his body violently flung back to the bridge's main entrance. 

D-did he just kill another crewmember like it was nothing? I… I knew the  'worst order' had a fragging bad reputation, but... this? 

Miko suddenly felt sick from watching someone die in front of her, even if it was probably someone she hadn’t wanted to get to know better, anyway. She never witnessed something as life-threatening as this before, and wished she never would, again. Her stomach turned. A cold blooded murder, executed by the officer who took interest in her. 

Great .

She heard someone ask a question that probably referred to her presence, but her mind wasn't able to register what exactly was going on. The troopers that had pressed her on her knees, now pulled her on her wobbly feet. She was slowly getting able to move again, but all felt like she was in some kind of bad dream. One took her by the handcuffs, while the other went to drag the lifeless corpse to the trash compactor.

Miko was roughly pulled forward through the hallways of the Steadfast . The two first order troopers were now walking next to her, one on each side. The right one was holding the cuffs tightly. When she looked the other way, she saw the other trooper with two boots in his hands. He was disrespectfully dragging the dead officer forward, like he was sweeping the floor. The trooper to her left scraped his throat and started talking to his comrade: “the trash compactor is closer, let me first throw him in”. The other trooper nodded curtly. She shivered. She knew the First Order was bad news, but this was much worse than she expected. How am I ever going to get out of this frigging hellhole?

I have to come up with a plan , she desperately thought.  She had to try to look around for some way out.

The group turned down another hallway, reaching one of the many trash compactor entrances that existed on the resurgent-class star destroyer. She heard the other trooper sigh. Was this business as usual for them? Or were they affected by this wicked situation as well? She wondered. Their black visors and stiff armor hid their expressions very well, it was impossible to tell.

She felt a lump in her throat, thinking back about what happened on the bridge. Should I have a last look at him? She thought, somehow feeling sorry for the shot down officer. She turned her head and shoulders to catch a glance of him. However, the trooper that was holding her in check, suddenly reacted to her maneuver, and roughly pulled her cuffs towards him.  But instead of pulling her back in line, she lost her balance, falling backwards with a swirl, right onto the lifeless corpse.

Miko froze. 

She was staring right into the empty blueish green eyes of the man that was just shot and killed. 

Her cuffed hands had landed on his chest, and the physical contact with this corpse made her feel like she was going to throw up. She desperately closed her eyes to ignore the sensory overload and felt a cold chill, like a shockwave, go through her. This was how she was going to meet her end too, right? A dead lump, ready to be composted on this stupid war machine. How did this all happen so fast? And - by the fragging stars - why?

Her hands were pulled up once again by the trooper, but she felt so limp, she couldn't find the strength to react. The situation went south so quickly, and there was no escape whatsoever, she hopelessly thought.

She felt movement beneath her, and opened her eyes again, expecting that the other trooper had started pulling the still warm body. But instead, she looked in the exact same blueish green eyes again, staring back at her . 

What the fr-...? 

The presumed-dead officer quickly pulled his hand from beneath her, reaching out to the trooper holding her handcuffs, swiftly grabbing the trooper’s blaster from its holster. He shot the other trooper in the chest, before the blaster was even removed from the holster. The framed trooper turned around in confusion, receiving a shot in the stomach himself. 

In a mere few seconds, Miko found herself on the ground in between two lifeless troopers, a man who was very much supposed to be dead sitting next to her. 

She looked at him in shock, not understanding a bit from what had just happened. 

To her surprise, he looked as confused as she was. The burn from the blast was apparent on his otherwise spotless uniform and she could’ve sworn that he was really absolutely dead just seconds ago. Not that she had any experience with laying on a dead body at all, but still.

“What did you do?!” he half whispered-half shouted her way. 

“What did I do? I witnessed you die back there!” she responded with the same hissing voice. The officer ignored her reaction and started touching the hole in his uniform. “It pierced through the blaster protection, as I feared…" the man frowned. "Why were you present on the bridge?” he sternly demanded. 

Miko felt even more confused and slightly annoyed by his commanding tone. “What do you mean? And I have no idea why I was there! That creep took some painful blood samples from my arm and was going to lock me up, that’s the only thing I know!” She responded, slightly raising her voice. 

He looked at her, one eyebrow raised. “Did he by any chance say anything else?” 

Miko tried to recall the situation, but everything went so quickly and the blood loss made her memories blurry. “Yeah, he said something about some midi-what-the-hell-ian values he was going to check”. She crossed her arms, scanning his face for answers. 

The first order officer stared back at her, nose twitching, as if she had caught some rare disease. He then started rubbing his chest again in slow circles. His hand clenched at the fabric for a fraction, before he quickly stood up and started walking further into the hallway and away from her, his back straight. 

“Hey! Where the frag are you going?” Miko shouted. He didn’t respond, didn't look back at her or slowed down. He acted as if she wasn’t even kriffing there. 

She didn't like this attitude of his at all.

Miko stumbled and almost fell, having trouble standing up with her hands cuffed. But she quickly ran after him and grabbed his arm, hoping to get some response out of him. She didn't like the idea at all, but he was probably her only chance of survival, so she wasn't going to let him get away just like that. 

He suddenly turned and looked back at her with a menacing glare, as if touching him was way off limits. She backed away and forgot about her plan, surprised by his reaction and taken aback by his piercing eyes. Luckily, he paused for a second and looked back and forth, as if he was overthinking the situation.  

He sighed. “Follow me if you want to get out of this ship”, he coldly replied.

Chapter 2 - escape from Steadfast

What’s this? Why am I on the floor? And why is this odd fuzzy hairball staring at me like she had just seen a ghost? And why in the order's name is she on top of me? Hux thought in disdain. He was confused, disoriented and absolutely not comfortable with having someone invading his personal space. 

He tried to clear his mind and focus on the past events. Wasn’t he on the bridge of the Steadfast ? 

Pryde . 

He remembered. 

While his eyes were adjusting to the hallway light, he saw 2 troopers slowly reaching for the girl, unaware of him regaining his consciousness. This was the moment he needed to act on. 

He reached for the nearest trooper's blaster and swiftly shot both soldiers. The girl automatically moved to the side, making way so he could get up on his knees. 

Hux stared at the white armored bodies. What a waste, I had to shoot a total of five troopers in one day, he thought. 

He paused and gulped down the nauseous feeling he got from the turn of events. Not that any of them mattered to him any more.

The girl quickly told him what happened. He cursed inwardly. If what he suspects was true, he was just saved by a force sensitive. Ugh , he absolutely hated the thought of being saved by someone with the likes of Kylo Ren. Apart from his rivalry with the latter, he wasn’t a fan of anything that couldn’t be scientifically explained either. 

It seems that she is not aware of her abilities, though , he noticed. For now, let’s keep it that way. I don’t want to give her any ideas. But why is Pryde picking up force sensitive people? One is already too much! He felt his frustrations rise again, thinking about the self-proclaimed supreme leader and the way he used that Force power to lash out at him physically. He unwillingly touched his neck, remembering his latest encounter with Kylo.

He tried to regain his composure. Let’s evaluate the situation later, she might come in handy right now.

He looked at the two troopers he just shot. My first priority should be a swift escape, which will be much easier as long as I'm presumed dead,   he reasoned. He took the blaster from the floor, started walking and eventually called the girl to follow him. “We should get to the lower hangar, my shuttle is stationed there. I was planning to depart, so it should be fueled up by now” he stated, increasing the pace.  

He suddenly stopped in his tracks. If the girl was the only one leaving a trace, no one will know he’s still alive, even after his escape. That would give him a significant tactical advantage. He should come up with a plan to reach the shuttle without being noticed.

The girl, obviously still confused about the whole situation, walked right into him, giving him a bump in the back. 

“Watch we’re you’re going!” he hissed. She was looking back into his eyes, anger showing in hers. She pointed a finger to his chest, her hands still cuffed.  “You’re hard to keep up with, you’re at least 2 heads bigger than I am, and then you frigging stop out of the blue! What do you expect to happen!” She silently shouted back. 

Hux felt his anger level rise. This whole day had been full of stress and frustration, and this brat was only adding fuel to the fire. She should learn her place, or this is not going to work well, he thought, while grinding his teeth. She bothered him already twice in this short timespan, and with such insolence. 

But he also knew that he didn’t have any better options, and he had manipulated people into serving his purpose in the past. He had to make this work, for his own sake. 

He looked at her with cold stern eyes, then turned his head towards a hallway with an open door, leading to the hangar. “We need to get to my ship and make sure we can take off. We have to get authorization from the control tower first,” he stated.  She sighed, tried to cross her handcuffed arms and replied with a sceptical look: “And how are you going to pull that off?” 

Armitage thought he felt a vein in his brain pop, not used to receiving such answers. He refrained from the urge to verbally lash out to her and forced himself to think about the situation ahead. 

He brought his gloved right hand to his chin. She did have a point. He had to give up his cover, if he wanted to try to convince someone. He could go back to take the trooper’s helmet, call control tower, and hope that the microphone unit would cover up his voice. But using his authorization code was a great risk. Most of the troopers knew him all too well… he implicitly recruited and oversaw training for most of them, after all. He was the image of the army's propaganda. News of his demise had probably already spread, so using anything related to his identity would most certainly ring some alarms. 

His shoulder was pounded upon again, so he looked down with slight resignation. The girl was holding her hands to the side, wanting to put them on her hips, but not able to do so due to the handcuffs. “Leave that to me”, she whispered with a sly smile. 

He pulled one eyebrow up again. “What do you mean?” he responded with a slightly cynical voice. 

“Can you guide me to an access port somewhere?” she smiled enthusiastically. 

Her reaction looked somewhat childish in his eyes, and that really didn’t give him any confidence. But his plan was too risky anyway, so he could at least give her the benefit of the doubt, he considered. 

Hux pointed her to the nearest access point. She sat down on one knee, looking at the port. He was feeling very sceptical about this. How can this girl do anything with that access port? Without a scomp link, she can't even access it, he wondered. He saw her looking over her shoulder, whispering something. She’s not going to do some force magic, right… he thought in disdain, furrowing his brows.

‘PC, you can come out now’, he now heard her  whisper. A tiny droid crawled out of the neck sleeve of her jacket. It had 2 visual sensors and 4 motoric ones, it resembled something animal-like. A small reptilian type of animal, including the bulging eyes and flexible tail. The thing found its way via her arms to the access point, turning to use said tail as the communicator, the scomp link. She whispered instructions to the little droid, before she pulled out a small working pad from her gear. She started scanning the screen with full concentration and started slicing, clearly forgetting his presence.

Hux was intrigued by the droid, he never saw such a small animal-like model. The way it swiftly moved the access point’s turning wheel was peculiar, but most effective. If he was head of the infiltration division, this model would make a great asset. 

If I was still in charge… but that’s all over and done now. He gulped. 

If… only I'm able to get to Ren . The stakes were high, too high for his liking, but he would do anything to make the idiotic force user disappear. 

The droid made a squeaky sound.  The girl turned to Hux again. “All done!” she exclaimed, enthusiastic about her presumed success. He was still sceptical though, her enthusiasm only making him feel less confident. Does she really know what she's doing? She sure doesn't act like it , he wondered. But… if she really achieved changing flight plans and authorizations without notice, she could disable the surveillance cameras as well. She might even be able to diminish the amount of troops in the hangar, too , he reasoned. The longer he was presumed dead, the better. 

He asked her if she could pull that one off, and she responded positively. The droid squeaked, and she focused back on the access port. 

Hux was nervously pacing through the hallway, and although it took her and that droid only two minutes, it felt like eternity. The more dead moments like this, the more chance they could be discovered. 

He felt his heart racing from not being able to do anything, his mind starting to come up with all kinds of worst-case scenarios. He took another swing, and saw her standing up and putting two thumbs up in the air. Good. Urgent time to leave.

 “Okay, let's advance and check if your little trick worked. Walk before me and pull up your hands.” he stated. 

“What? Why?” she responded with a low tone, clearly finding his request suspicious. “I’m going to transfer you as a prisoner to the shuttle”, he explained with a hissing tone. “Oh-okay, I can go with that.” She said with a voice full of doubt. 

As if she had another choice , he thought scornfully.

The droid retreated back into her jacket, its lean form making sure it wasn’t visible from the outside. Hux removed the bandage from his left leg. The bleeding hadn’t entirely stopped, but the white fabric was way too obvious. The black hole on his chest was clearly visible, too.  “Walk closely before me, so they don’t notice the damage on my uniform,” he added, while disposing of the cloth. He took the confiscated blaster and pointed it on her back, coercing her to start walking. 

The duo marched over to the hangar deck. Hux scanned the hangar. Good, it seems the dock was manned with minimum capacity. Maybe her slicing efforts actually had their results.  

Apart from that, he spotted nothing out of the ordinary, which was a good sign. It indicated that the news of his presumed death had not reached the hangar personnel yet. If he was lucky, none of them would think back about this moment or even notice them. They had to move as subtle as possible. 

He slowly picked up the pace, but tried not to go too fast so that he had to limp. The shot wound in his leg was slowly starting to take its toll. They passed a few of the hangar crew members and he sternly nodded to a trooper that saluted him. He hoped none of them would see the sweat on his forehead. Or wonder why he was there and no pilot was with him. It’s been a while since he flew himself, after all. 

They walked on the ramp of the shuttle and he opened the cargo doors. Without looking up, they both stepped inside.

(small bonus doodle because I love awkward situations and they need more attention)

Chapter 2 - escape from Steadfast (II)

Hux closed the shuttle door as fast as possible and let the girl free. He let out a breath. He didn't prefer to be in risky situations at all. Being on the bridge, executing battle strategies was his forte, not actually being in the field. 

He marched to the cockpit, the girl followed in his wake. He swiftly sat down and started to power up his shuttle. “Prepare for a swift jump to lightspeed” he stated, without looking her way. She slowly looked around,  taking in the environment. “O-ok” she absentively answered. 

He paused, wondering how much flight experience she was lacking. 

“Put yourself in that chair”, he pointed out. She quickly sat down and put her hands on her knees. 

She’s clearly not used to space travelling, he mused . A real planetary brat.

The ship's motors started roaring to life. Moments later, the ship took off, and Miko was pressed against the back of the seat. She had a hard time taking in what was happening, but was finally feeling relieved to see the stars. It gave her some hope that this nightmare could be over soon.

Hux turned to her: “we’re going to jump into hyperspace as soon as possible. I’m setting up the hyperdrive, can you give in the coördinates?” he asked her. 

“Where?” she replied, absolutely willing to help to get out of there as fast as possible. 

“at 3h” he responded. 

Who the hell talks in hours? She wondered, reminding herself she picked him up on a military base after all. She sighed and closed her eyes for a second,  in an attempt to find some inner peace.

First, he treats me like kriffing trash, he doesn’t believe I can slice the system, then he drags me into this ship with a fucking blaster pointed at my back, and now I have to know how a shuttle works? This man is giving me grey hairs! She thought instead, frustration starting to grow. 

She found the hyperspace panel and started looking through the pre-filled values. “Anywhere?” she asked, turning back to him. 

“Would you just choose something already?” he shouted back. “Why are you shouting, I can hear you when you talk, sir whatever!” she responded angrily, pressing the confirmation button. If he’s going to treat me like this - again - he’s not going anywhere! She stubbornly thought.

“By the sarlacc pits, they locked on us!” Hux shouted, while the shuttle was violently shaken. Miko closely held onto the chair behind her and momentarily closed her eyes. When the shaking stopped, she remembered his words. “By the sarlacc pits”, who says that anyway? She wondered. This guy is a kriffing relic. A next shake threw her out of her train of thoughts again and made her focus on the present.

  “The coordinates are ready!” Miko called back. Hux pulled the hyperdrive gear, the stars quickly changing into blue lines. 

“Phuh, that was friggin close!” Miko sighed, letting herself fall into the co-pilot’s chair. 

“We’re not out of this yet” Hux said while glaring at her from the side. “Prepare to jump back” he added. 

“But… no! I don’t want to go back! Why should I…” she argued. 

“Just do it already!” he angrily shouted. 

She hesitantly went over to the controls again, but at that exact moment, they were pulled out of hyperspace, reaching their destination. She looked out of the cockpit’s window, staring into empty space. Hux started turning the ship around. 

Right at that time, a squadron of first order TIE-fighters appeared from hyperspace. 

Hux cursed inwardly. The squadron opened fire and hit the shuttle a few times, giving Miko a hard time to stand. Red warning lights blinked on the right control board and if Miko wasn't panicking yet, this would certainly do the trick. The TIE's turned and a second salvo followed. Hux did his best to avoid the little buggers, but he was no trained pilot, unlike their current opponents. 

Their shields held back most of the shots, but some hits got through, making alarms go off all over the shuttle’s cockpit. 

“Wha…. They can jump through hyperspace? And they are tracking us?” Miko whispered, taken aback. 

“Put in some coordinates, now!” Hux shouted towards her. “O-okay!” she whispered in confusion. She quickly pressed the control and entered one of the preprogrammed destinations. The shuttle took another jump to the designated coordinates. While in hyperspace, he turned towards her and stood up straight. He righted his back and looked down to her with a menacing glare. His hair was slightly tossed up from angrily turning back and forth between looking at her and at the navigation panels. 

“Now, listen carefully this time. Once we arrive, jump back to the place we just came from, and then directly jump back to the Steadfast . Once there, we’ll jump again to a random spot, and so on. At least four times. And this time, do it, without hesitation!” He shouted, pointing his finger at her. 

You can’t just throw orders at me like that! She angrily thought, frustration growing and her head getting furiously red. She stood up, trying to face him on a more even level, and replied: 'I'm trying to get out of this hellhole as well, you don't need to shout at me!' She knocked away his hand and turned around. She could feel the frustration radiating from him as well; she could hear him breathe heavily and gritting his teeth. 

Miko took a deep breath and tried to calm down. She did realise he clearly knew more about this tracking mechanism, so her best chance to survive was to listen to that self-righteous idiot.

The moment the shuttle jumped out of hyperspace, they immediately jumped back to their previous location. At her right side, she saw a flash of one of the TIE-fighters landing at their location, just before the next jump was executed. She swiftly gave in the coordinates of the Steadfast’s location. “Ready!” she shouted in Hux's direction.

The third jump took them only seconds, this time no pursuing ship was seen. Another alarm was sounding and she saw Hux gritting his teeth and adding extra pressure on the steering handles. They came out of hyperspace right before the Steadfast. Miko was still entering the next coordinates.  "Hurry up! They've spotted us!", she heard him shout, while she finished the procedure.  "Done!" She exclaimed, at which Hux immediately reacted, initiating the fourth jump. 

The required fifth and sixth jump followed, and to be absolutely certain about losing their pursuers, they did another few. 

The duo arrived somewhere before a nebula, at the edge of the unknown regions. Miko was completely worked up, but the sight before her made all the tension in her body disappear. She was marvelled by the sight of the clustered stars and dusty space clouds. She had never been in outer space, and this was the first time she could actually pay attention to its beauty. For a moment, she forgot that she was in a first order ship together with some easily angered, high-minded and conceited officer. She forgot about the alarm wailing on her right side. 

“We should debate a strategy” she heard from her back, pulling her mind back into reality. Hux sat in the pilot’s seat and turned his gaze towards her. He waved his hair back in shape. He still looked like he was angry at her, but it seemed like he had found his composure again.

He stepped over to her side, checking where the alarm came from. The next thing she heard were his fists landing on the lower control panel. “This is unthinkable! The navigation unit was hit. I can’t access any of the preprogrammed coordinates any more!” he waved his hands out of anger and stepped to the other side. 

“I’ll check it out,” Miko replied quickly, willing to help. She felt a bit guilty for not following his orders. It's because of that, they were in this mess after all. 

She thought she could hear him let out a frustrated growl while he passed the spot she was standing in.

Her droid friend appeared out of her jacket again and crawled over to the data port, looking at the damage as well. Hux sat down and pressed his fingers to his forehead. He let out a long sigh. 

“The board is fried, there’s nothing I can do… it's already a miracle we could perform those last jumps. It must’ve been fried right after." Miko brought her hand to her chin. "Maybe I can check if you have access to the HoloNet on this ship, so I can look for a place to go? We can still use the direct input with coordinates,” she suggested. He didn’t look up. “That’s no option. You’ll give away our position if you do so” he responded.

 “I can put up a proxy…” she started replying, the corners of her mouth curling upwards. Her droid came to sit on her shoulder, ready to help her out. 

“They will still find a trace, trust me. I know what my men are capable of” he interrupted. He absentmindedly scratched his hair.

“From what just happened, I don’t think they’re your men any more...” Miko muttered inwardly.

Hux stood up, gave her a menacing glare, and walked out of the cockpit, leaving her there on her own.  

Great. I can add hard-headed to the list , she sighed.

Hux was losing it. He was just shot twice, left for dead but apparently saved by a naïve girl with authority issues and possibly with force powers. He didn’t know which part was worse. 

Now he was stuck in a shuttle with limited resources, having nowhere to go. He just lost everything he worked, lived and stood for. And there was no way to get it back. The only thing left was his resentment. 

First Ren, and now Pryde. They took everything from him. His life's work went up in smoke, just like Starkiller base.

If there’s anything he was still willing to achieve, it was orchestrating their demise. 

But he was practically powerless now. There wasn’t a way to get into the first order again, wasn't there.... 

He paced around in the small central wardroom, rubbed his face and tried to weigh his options.  Going back to Arkanis and using his family name could work to a certain degree, but even if he could convince the cadets on Arkanis, he had no chance against the both of them. He was the spy after all. Come to think of it, he had made sure the cadets knew how to deal with traitors. A cold shiver ran through his spine, remembering how effective and cruel his orders were towards them. No, Arkanis wasn’t an option. 

He couldn't think of any other option within his connections within the First Order. The chance was too high that they would side with either Ren or Pryde. 

But what other option is left?

Hmm. maybe the enemy of my enemy, can become my ally. If only for getting to Ren and Pryde, I’m willing to switch sides. For now. And when the opportunity presents itself, I’ll take back what’s mine. 

He stood still. If that defected trooper FN-2187 and Dameron were still alive, he might have a chance. He saved their sorry lives after all. But how to find and contact them… and first, how to get out of here...

He sat down at the table in the wardroom and thought about his options. They were stranded and they only had the navigation history of the jumps they just did, before the navigation memory unit was wiped. From what he recalled, none of them were nearby an inhabitable planet. On the other hand, it’s not like he had time to check the surroundings, so maybe they could give it a try and jump back. They have to wait for a few days to use those coordinates anyway, to avoid getting caught. 

The fuzzy hairball came in. Right, I almost forgot about her. He rolled his eyes. He realized he had no idea if there were enough provisions for one, let alone for two people. He should check that first, to be able to estimate if this was the time to get rid of her. 

She stood before him with her arms crossed and started talking: “It seems the hyperdrive got a hit too, PC is looking into it. He said we can’t use it at full speed.” 

He sighed. Another setback . He felt a cold rush climbing up his spine. How did he end up in such a sightless situation? He hated the feeling of not being in control. 

She came to sit down on the bench in front of him, and leaned forward, elbows on the table. “How did they track us through hyperspace and how did we just manage to escape?” she hesitantly asked, looking at his face like he was fishy. 

He sighed again, sat back and started explaining. He had other things to do, but he felt that explaining how superior his research division was, could at least brighten his mood a bit. 

“It's a First Order standard procedure to lock on any hyperspace trace their sensors catch. The fighters do the same.” He leaned forward as well, looking her in the eyes. He made notice on how her amber irises slightly dilated when he locked his gaze on them. Good, I have her full attention .  “We developed active hyperspace tracking, it’s very effective in pursuing targets. But if you travel backwards, you make use of that same path, making your backward jumps nearly untraceable. The technology can do some extrapolations, that’s why we had to jump the whole trip back to the Steadfast and then further on. Once they found out what we were doing, we did more than enough extra jumps to lose them.” He put up a wry smile, self-content his plan worked. It was one of his theories after all, but it wasn't tested before. 

But then he was reminded of his current situation. “Too bad we can’t travel anywhere now”, he grumbled. 

“We can travel to my place if you want?” the girl responded, cocking her head to one side. He looked up, a very sceptical look on his face. ”Your home planet? And how are we supposed to do that? The navigation is fried, did you forget?” he said, clenching his fists under the table. She's definitely not the brightest , he thought, again. He was starting to feel annoyed for the fourth time in a row now. He could feel that the combination of her presence and the recent turn of events were slowly making him lose his otherwise unbreakable self-control. 

She crossed her arms, leaned back and stated: “I know the coordinates by heart”.  

What? Who in the whole galaxy knows coordinates by heart? It’s a 48 long digit code! Hux thought, not believing her one bit.

“Are you serious?” he said, more like a statement. He couldn't take her seriously, and this definitely was not the time nor the place to mess with him.  

“Of course! One should always know how to find their way home!” she happily responded, a smart smile on her face. 

Hah, that’s funny, he thought: “You never left the planet” he dryly stated. 

“S-So what?” she responded, slightly pouting and blushing, probably feeling caught. His assumption was correct, it appeared. But still, knowing such a code by heart? That would be very unlikely.  “Why would you learn such a long code by heart if you’re never even going to use it?” he said, disbelief in his voice.  

“We can use it right now, can’t we?” she immediately countered, leaning her head backwards and starting to raise her voice again. It seems that he was not the only one who wasn't in a good mood around here. Her behaviour wasn't helping Hux to keep his calm at all. 

"Then let's hope you don't make a mistake so we don't crash into a sun, for example." He replied, the tone of his voice increasing. 

"Since the fragging hyperdrive is only working at a fraction of its speed, we don't have to worry about that, right?" she threw back at him, almost shouting.

He sat back again, breathed through his nose and tried to control the rising anger. He let out another exaggerated sigh. This girl was going to make him lose his cool sooner or later. This was worse than staying with Ren in one shuttle.

The little droid tripped from the cockpit onto the girl's seat, eventually settling down on her shoulder. 

The girl broke the loaded silence first and tried to make some progress on the plan. “Okay, suppose if we go there, what are we going to do?” she asked him. “I don’t want to get my people involved in your personal vendetta,” she added. 

How can she know about that? Is it that obvious? Hux wondered, feeling surprised and even more annoyed because he apparently couldn't hide his motives from this girl he had never met before. 

He huffed. 

“I’m planning to turn myself in with the resistance” He stated. “I have valuable information that can bring down the leaders of the first order, in exchange for my immunity.” 

She looked at him, turning one eyebrow up. “And you think they will just let you walk in there?” she responded.  

“I have been providing them with information the last months, and 2 of the resistance's key figures know about my identity. I’ll take my chances if I can get Ren and Pryde to pay.” He said, not able to hide his disdain for both. 

He cursed inwardly. He wasn’t the type to play hero, he usually let other people do the dirty work for him. But now he was practically alone, only this girl was here, but she won’t be of much help anyway. He had to do this on his own, and this was the only plan he could come up with. It could work, but it was risky and he didn’t like it.

“I think I can get us into contact with a resistance faction if we’re at my place” the girl said, holding a finger on her lips and looking back to the cockpit. Her droid was following her movements. “I’ll put in the coordinates!” she said and stood up. 

“Hey, you can’t just decide on your own!” Hux shouted back at her, but she already closed the door to the cockpit. 

This girl was going to be the death of him. 

And how did she lose those handcuffs?

Chapter 3 - escape from the psychopath (I)

Armitage Hux went back to the cockpit, seeing the girl bowing down over the panel, putting in the digits. “Apparently, it’s going to take us 28 hours to get there, due to the hyperdrive malfunction” she mumbled. The little droid was walking over the cockpit’s dashboard, keeping an eye on Hux. 

She turned around, scanning him from head to toe with a questionable look on her face. 

What’s her problem now? He thought, feeling uncomfortable under her gaze. 

“Let me see that wound.” she said, walking straight to him.

He jumped back. No way he was going to let her come that close. 

“I’ll have a look myself!” he hissed. He pulled his uniform straight, as if he could remove the damage by adjusting it, and quickly stepped out of the cockpit, head high to keep up appearances.  He then marched through the wardroom and into the private quarters, locking the door. 

He let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding,  wondering in the back of his mind what had actually just happened. 

Armitage carefully pulled off his uniform and the blaster-repulsive vest he was wearing underneath. It was pierced, as was expected from such a close shot. He was right to wear it that day; he knew the chance of being shot sooner or later was growing more and more realistic. It was the risk he knew he was taking, by leaking information, after all. 

On his stomach, right where the shot landed, he found new scar tissue, but it was way too shallow for such a blast. So it is true, she somehow stopped the impact from the blast. It must’ve happened that instant Pryde took the shot. But why? At that moment, she could not possibly know that I could get her out of there.  

He was puzzled. Now that he thought about it, he didn’t even know her name. And she looked pretty oblivious from who he was. How that's even possible, he couldn’t understand. 

And it utterly annoyed him.

Hux found 2 bacta patches in the first aid kit and applied them on his chest and upper left leg. The bleeding of his leg was still not entirely stopped and now that the adrenaline wasn’t subduing his pain receptors any more, he started to feel the continuous tingle of the burn. 

His thoughts automatically went back to the moment he regained consciousness in one of the many halls of the Steadfast . Only now, it seemed to seep through how the girl had been way too close to him. Physical contact has always made him cringe and there has been more of said contact than he has had in a very long time. 

All what had happened the last hours on that ship was catastrophic, and it all could be summarised to him losing control.  Losing control over his carefully laid out plan, his precious army and his own body. Feelings of resentment, hate, disgust and spite rose in his chest like a tidal wave.

He rubbed his face, trying to concentrate on the tasks at hand. He hoped the wounds would heal soon with the help of the patches, because he was starting to feel worn out already. He knew his body could take the damage, history proved that already. But he also knew its limits and the effects of blood loss, which were already making him feel light in the head.

He then took one of his spare uniforms from the wardrobe and decided to get back to the wardroom. He had to find out as much as possible about that girl and her home planet. He needed to know in advance what his options were.

Oh, and he should still check the rations.

Did he just flee away when I was trying to help him? Miko was perplexed. His behaviour didn’t really add up to what she observed during their escape. He was so full of himself before, and now he got out of here like he was scared of me helping him out... 

She went to look for the officer, but he locked himself up in what she assumed was the bedroom of the ship. She then started wandering around, to explore the shuttle a bit. 

Great. If that’s the bedroom, there’s only one. She let out a huff. It’s his private shuttle after all. How was she going to get through the next 28 hours?

She heard the door open and saw him step out of the room, wearing an immaculate uniform. He must’ve changed just now, she mused. He’s really keen on his appearance, it seems. What a kriffing self centered jerk. He sat down on the bench again and started tapping his fingers on the table, which slightly worked on her already overworked nerves. 

“What’s your name?” he asked bluntly. 

Oh, we didn’t introduce ourselves yet, that’s right!  

She realised, welcoming the conversation despite his uninviting tone. ‘I’m Miko Ylena, engineer at Tagge Industries, communication division on Utapau Four. So that’s where we’re heading.” She casually swinged her hand to the cockpit, stepped closer and went to sit down, too. PC walked from her shoulder onto the table.

“Hmm… that’s a first order plant, if I recall correctly?” he wondered. 

She replied: “In theory, yes. It’s been a family business and from what I understood, nothing has changed much over the years. First,  there was the empire, now, the first order. There is a garrison stationed to oversee the production, but Henry Tagge’s still waving the scepter. Which is a good thing for us, for now. If we do our jobs well and without too much hassle, we get paid enough to come by.” 

She looked at her gloved hands. She was still wearing part of her working gear. Somehow, someone had overpowered and drugged her on the way back home. She remembered some hooded individuals, but that's all. 

PC walked up to her again, as if the little droid felt her slight distress, and went to sit between her arms.

“We’ll have to lay low so those troops don’t spot me.” Hux said. 

She looked at him, quizzical. Her mind has been working overtime, she was full of nerves and definitely not thinking straight. 

“Why? Is your hair color that rare?” she blurted out, sporting a sly smile while thinking back. He did stand out in the crowd. She remembered that ginger hair as the first thing she had noticed, when she first saw him on the bridge of the Steadfast .

But at that same moment, she already felt bad for saying it. The officer closed his eyes and was audibly biting his teeth after hearing her reaction. Woops. He must’ve misinterpreted me… she realised. It seemed like reacting assertively was a way for her to cope with the stress of the situation, and maybe she shouldn’t have started smiling. It didn't seem to land well with him at all. 

On the other hand, why should she care? It’s not like he had been friendly with her. He ordered her around like she was a subordinate of him, and it was continuously besting her tolerance level towards him. She just wanted to get him out of her life as soon as possible, before one of them did or say something they might regret. 

What did she just say?

“What does my hair color have to do with this at all?”  Hux requested, annoyed. He felt his anger level rising again. “Do you even know who I am?” he added.

“No. Some officer that was shot because he was a traitor?” she casually answered, like it was nothing. She wasn’t looking him in the face, and he could only interpret this as defiance. He started fuming. Seriously? She even works in a first order alleged company and doesn’t know about me?  

“Don’t you know anything about the commanders of the first order?” he questioned with a lower voice. 

“nope, I’m not interested in politics” she replied casually, while she was inspecting her gloves, as if this conversation was of no importance.

What? Not interested in politics? How can she say that with such impudence? 

“Wh… “ he started his rhetoric, but apparently she didn't notice that he was going to reply, and she unintentionally interrupted him: “I never paid attention to those topics in the academy, it’s not like I have any say in it. And it's manipulated shit anyway. It's a former imperial academy after all. ” She crossed her arms and leaned back. “Why do you ask?” she added. 

Hux mind short circuited. “How can you know your planet’s coordinates by heart, but not know who I am?” He was baffled, and she still looked unimpressed. What’s with this girl? 

Under normal circumstances, people were either scared or cautious towards him. At least, for the last 15 years that is. This was a new experience for him and it didn't sit well.

“I’m General Armitage Hux, commander of the First Order army. I lead the training programme of the first order troopers as well as the R&D department. My research team developed technologies such as the active hyperspace tracking you just witnessed. I oversaw the construction of Starkiller base." 

He stopped right there, he wasn’t going to let her know he played a major role in the destruction of the new republic and their pitiful resistance. He needed her to believe he was worth something for the resistance, alive.  

”I was running for Grand Marshall,  becoming the most powerful person in the whole first order,  next to the supreme leader." he stated, pressing his index finger on the table to make his point. He was feeling a bit better hearing himself say those things. Especially after all that had happened these last hours.

She was still looking at him with that sceptical look. She took a breath, then paused for a second. In the meantime, that droid of her climbed back to his usual spot on her shoulder. “Should I be taken aback or just be disgusted?” she replied, crossing her arms. 

What?  

“Either way, do you know what they were planning to do with me?” she interrupted, trying to change the subject. 

Hux was sitting there, not knowing what to do and not really registering her request. How can she just change the subject and react like that? She just keeps addressing me like I’m some unimportant individual that just happened to be on her way… and why ‘disgusted’ anyway? He thought. He was still watching her like he didn’t know what to do with her. 

She broke the silence: “Look, general Hux, I don’t want to have anything to do with this. I never asked to be abducted. I was bored, but not that bored. So I’m going to drop you off at Utapau Four and point you to my connection. From then on, I’m going back to my boring life and you can do whatever the shit you want to.”

This girl is unbelievable, he inwardly sighed.   

“You do realize that you can’t just go back to your old life. The First Order just picked you up from there.” he said with a low voice. She replied angrily: “You mean they abducted me. They stunned me for fuck sake!” 

Why is she always swearing? He was starting to get seriously annoyed yet again. This girl is really going to bring out the worst of me . 

He breathed through his nose and thought back to her initial question, changing the subject back before both of them started shouting again. 

“From what I can deduce, they were testing if you were force sensitive. I have no intel on who requested this test and why it was carried out.” 

Actually, wasn’t he going to keep quiet about this? Again an example on how she's somehow indirectly messing with me , he realized. He cursed inwardly. Why couldn’t he be more of his manipulative self?

Miko responded: “Me? Force sensitive? What a joke! I should at least know by myself, then, right?” she said with a laughing voice. She was now leaning backwards even more, making him wonder if she was going to slide off from the seat soon and fall on the deck. That would teach her from behaving so... uncivilized , he amusingly thought. 

Hux wanted to call her out on her demeanor, just to get all the frustrations out of his system, but he refrained himself from doing so.

“Was a blood monster taken from you recently?” He asked instead.  

The girl looked at her droid, which looked back in return, as if the thing would know better. “Not very recently, a few years ago. It’s standard procedure to see if we don’t get polluted by the iridium.” she mentioned. 

“It’s feasible that those results were picked up by someone within the order.” Hux reasoned. He knew he had approved an order to build an automatic system to upload and interpret blood samples before. About 13 years ago, he himself had the directive to exterminate any force sensitive beings he could discover within the ranks, but that was under Snoke’s reign. This reeked of something different.

 It was highly possible that this system was still operational and reused for other purposes, unbeknownst to him.

“That guy, the one that shot you, acted like he was doing a routine job," she mentioned, “to lock me up for transport, as usual”.” she added, while mimicking the allegiant general.  

Hux shivered unwillingly when hearing Pryde’s reference, sentences full of elaborate insults addressed to the other general already forming up in his head. He subdued the urge to let them all out and tried to concentrate on what really could have been happening.

Hmm… if Pryde’s involved with force users, and Ren never mentioned it in the supreme board meetings, I can assume that Ren is not aware of this with a high probability. Is this some plan from that supposedly resurrected Emperor to use these force sensitives for his own good? Or maybe just kill them to get rid of the competitors? He didn’t like the first scenario one bit. Honestly,  he'd prefer the second one much more and finally get rid of those freaks. 

But first, he had to make sure this particular freak could be put to some good use.

He looked up again, seeing her questioning eyes directed back at him. They seemed almost yellow due to the soft light in the wardroom. They made him feel uncomfortable, as if they were piercing through his image and looking to read his mind. The fact that she was a possible force sensitive, didn’t help at all.

“I have no clue” he lied. 

This information might come in handy, but for now I need to keep her in the dark as much as possible, he mused. 

She didn’t seem to be happy with his answer, but she let it slide.

“What should I do then?” she asked him, as if he was the source of her problems. 

He hadn’t thought about her situation at all, it's not like he cared anyway. But maybe, if she was perceptive to his suggestions, there was something to gain for him as well. She did prove to be a relatively good slicer and that inventive little droid of hers was also on his radar. 

“Since the First Order might still be on the lookout for you, your best option is to disappear or try to join the resistance.” He reasoned. 

“But I can’t just leave my father and friends behind!” She half-shouted. 

“You do realise that if you stay, you’ll just be killed and probably kill them in the process” he coldly reacted. She’s not only stubborn, she’s also short sighted. This is going to be a very long trip, he thought again.   

He stood up and righted his back. 

“I’m going to retreat and take some sleep. We should discuss tactics afterwards.” he concluded. He went to his chambers and closed the door.

Some trivia!

Tagge industries: The Tagge family is a famous family throughout the whole saga (legacy and new), but I made up Henry. He's the only one with a normal name and he's probably the only moderate Tagge family member out there... he's a bit of an outcast 😂

Utapau Four: one of the 9 moons of Utapau. There are moons in canon, but I made up the whole moon's population and geography and so on.

Chapter 3 - escape from the psychopath (II)

Did he just leave me here, just like that?

Miko let out an annoyed sigh. She was exhausted, but the thrill of recent events was still raging through her body. She noticed that she had been reacting very assertively to everything, but then again, it’s not like she was ever abducted, tested upon, jumping through hyperspace and stuck on a ship. 

And accidentally saving the biggest prick in the galaxy in the process. From the grave he had dug for himself, no less.

She started wandering around the wardroom, finding out what was where, thinking which spot could serve best for taking a nap. They still had a long way ahead of them, after all. 

She found weapons, and the pantry as well. She dug through it, took something to eat and lay down on the bench. 

Her droid walked from her shoulder onto her stomach, turned around to watch her and sat down. 

At least the bench was long enough for her to lay straight. Or I am short enough, she mused. 

Back home, she was always the largest of her friends. The inhabitants of Utapau Four were shorter than the average human-like races. They originated from the Arkanian offshoot a very long time ago, bred for mining labor. Due to gravitational differences on the fourth moon of Utapau, before it was completely terraformed, their race evolved this way. She was a bit of an exception though, because of her mother’s genetic material, which was Corellian. 

She stared at the durasteel ceiling. If Utapau Four was no option for her any more, maybe she could travel to Corellia, to see where her mother grew up. Surely she could start a new life there, out of the frigging Worst Order's prying eyes.

Or maybe not. 

She didn’t know much about her mother’s past. The only memories she had, didn’t tell anything about who her mother used to be, before Miko was born. And her father was avoiding the conversation for years now.

I have to ask him one last time, before I leave. Maybe ask him about this crazy abduction as well. Some of his resistance friends might've heard something about it. It’s too suspicious. 

Kriff, am I really going to leave them?

The thought of having to say goodbye to her only family left, felt heavy on her chest. She never left the substitute planet, and maybe now, so suddenly, it was for good. This whole situation was still unreal and unsettling. 

She finally felt the fatigue taking over, having a hard time keeping her eyelids open. 

‘Hey PC, keep an eye on me while I fall asleep, will you?’ She requested her droid with a hoarse voice. The droid hummed positively as a response. She didn’t feel comfortable around that general, so she felt glad having her droid around as a bodyguard. The little droid looked up and then placed itself back on her stomach, while she slowly drifted away.

About 6 hours later.

Why is there trash on the table? Hux wondered. 

He just had given up on taking some rest, the recent incidents haunting his brain and ripping him out of his slumber again and again. 

He just did a few steps outside his cabin, and his blood pressure was already rising to the same agitated level as before he left for a break. 

He went further and opened the pantry, only to find that things were not in their initial place. 

He looked at the girl sleeping on the couch, striking lightning with his eyes. 

How could she make a mess of everything so fast? And not clean it up afterwards? He bristled and started to put everything back into place, his movements harsh. 

When he was done with the cupboard, he placed the jars on the counter to the exact spot they belonged, according to him. 

It took him quite some time, since the compartiment was slightly different from the one in his quarters on the Finalizer. But once everything was back in order, he felt his calm returning. 

If she ever does that again… he started thinking, clenching his hands tight. Stars, why was he so easily provoked?

Right at that moment, he heard giggling from behind his back. He turned around, only to find Miko silently chuckling. Her hair was even messier than before and her eyes were still foggy from napping. Combined with her snickering sounds, it made her look like she was drunk or high. Her little droid was nowhere to be seen. 

He turned his head down and closed his eyes for a minute. 

“Are you mocking me?” he asked with a dangerously low voice. 

“How can you focus on something like that? Aren’t you like - a general - busy with much more important things than how your stuff is put?” she said, obviously finding the whole situation funny, although there was a certain sharp edge to her words. 

Did she just taunt me even more? 

Insolent brat, he thought.

Anger started boiling up again quickly, since he hadn’t entirely calmed down from their encounter before. The girl seemed to cope with stress in a very annoying way. Or maybe she's always like that, he wondered in disdain. 

I should definitely get rid of her as soon as possible, he decided. The fact that she took a ration unbeknownst to him and moreover without permission, wasn’t working in her favor either. 

“Shouldn’t you focus on our escape plan or something, instead of combing your hair?” she added, letting out a snicker and rolling her eyes. 

He did wash up and combed his hair like he usually does when he starts the day cycle. It’s part of my status as an officer in a leading position, how could she just laugh that away?  

He started fuming. He had already realised he couldn’t treat her like a subordinate; his usual set of verbal threats were useless against her. And for a fraction of time, he didn’t know how to handle her. 

The idea only added fuel to the fire.

He suddenly hit both fists on the table before her, too enraged to be surprised by his own reaction. “Do not mock me! You shouldn’t stick your rude nose in someone else’s business!” he shouted, losing his cool but barely even noticing it. If she was a subordinate of him, or any other crewmember part of his flagship, he had her locked away already. And then put her on rehabilitation duty. Let the indoctrination programme prove its success. Such misbehaviour should be dealt with accordingly. But now, he had to use other means to put her in her place. If she wanted to argue, she was going to regret this, he angrily thought.

“I’m stuck in this ship as much as you are, so it’s my business too! You need to get your priorities straight” she shouted back at him. Her facial expression shifted from laughter to rage in a mere second. Her eyes were slightly wet, as if she was on the brink of tears.

Priorities straight? Does she even know what she’s saying? He felt like he was going to explode. 

“And oh, excuse me if I disturb your unreasonable need for order! Why are you even still wearing that uncomfortable uniform, if you haven’t noticed it yet, you’re not a general any more!” she added, volume rising.  

“Shut your mouth, you’re being blatantly foolish! You can’t possibly understand this! You didn’t even have any clue why you were abducted!" he threw back at her, "You were just going to go back to your pitiful old life, like nothing happened!” 

She was going to push him over the edge, make him lose his self-control and she was going to regret it.

Miko stood up and angrily faced him. He was still leaning over the table, so they were able to look straight into each other's eyes. 

“At least I had a life! You seem like you dug a big hole for yourself, that other guy got you hard there! And all you care about now is your appearance. Wake up, there’s no one to impress here!” she ostentatiously swinged her hands around, pointing to the empty space. 

“At least I have an impeccable appearance, you look like you haven’t washed for days, and what’s with those piercings anyway? I’m surprised you’re allowed to walk around with that at Tagge’s department! If it was under my supervision, this wasn’t tolerated!” he yelled, and she immediately yelled back: “It’s what they call style, mister general! But maybe someone of your age is not aware of that!”

“Are you calling me old?” She’s really going too far now, he thought somewhere in the back of his mind, too clouded by rage. His blood kept racing through his veins and each word that came out of her mouth only increased the pressure. 

This argument made no sense at all, the insults they threw at each other were downright pathetic, but he was too far gone and too hyped on the adrenaline of the past events to think clearly.

“Yes. And pale." She added, her face getting red from keeping up the volume with his shouting. "Have you seen any sunlight in the last decade? Lucky your hair stands out a bit, otherwise you’d really be mistaken for a corpse. If we land on my moon, make sure you won’t get sunburnt!” 

Did she really mock my hair? Again? 

Hux snapped. 

He instinctively and viciously reached out to her throat with his right gloved hand. He took her neck in a tight grip, starting to strangle her. The leather of his glove was making a scratching sound from the pressure he applied, which matched his angry breathing. 

He looked down at her reddened face with furious eyes. Her amber tinted irises were starting to change size, her expression going from angry and surprised to alarmed. It gave him cold chills, which provided him with an odd sense of satisfaction, somewhere deep beneath the raging anger.

She frantically grabbed his arm with both her hands and tried to shout, but only a feeble squeak came out. 

Silencing her felt good, very very satisfying, after all the recent tension buildup. This is what she gets from driving me mad, he thought, still so angry with her behaviour towards him. He wasn't sure if and when he would let her go, he was too far gone to think clearly now. 

She started to violently shake his arm and began to writhe with her legs, trying to get some grip so she could get loose. But he was towering over her, too strong and too enraged. 

She was harshly pressed against the backrest of the bench, Hux had stepped aside to discard the table and was now leaning over her. There was no escape from his pressing hand, and he could feel her throat moving, trying to swallow or maybe gag as a reflex to get her airtube clear.

His rough anger turned into a smoldering rage when the fire from her eyes was starting to fade and was turning into a desperate plea. Her leg movement slowed down until they fell limp. He could see her lips moving, begging for her release, but no sound came out. 

And then he felt something else than anger surging through his body. At this very moment he felt in total control. Oh, he missed that feeling. He took in the sensation like an addict finally experiencing the long-denied rush again. He could do literally anything to her, the way she crumbled under his grip. Anything. And the lower part of his body started thinking about doing something to her.

PC came out of nowhere. The tiny droid quickly jumped on his outstretched arm, instantly threatening Hux to give him a power surge.

Hux looked down to the suddenly menacing droid and snapped out of his trance. He abruptly loosened his grip, violently shook the droid from his arm, looked back at Miko with a bewildered look and stumbled back unceremoniously. 

The girl lay scrambled on the bench, touching her violated throat and heaving heavily to catch her breath. She turned to face him with squinted eyes.

Their gaze locked and instantly Hux was hit by a wave of cold sweat, the intensity of the amber made him breathe erratically. 

After a slight hesitation, he quickly turned around and stomped back to his cabin. He shut the door the second he entered. 

What the hell was that? He hastily wondered, trying to control his raging heartbeat. He rubbed his face, removing the sweat from his forehead.

He looked down. This has never happened before. He has always been in control of himself, he never lost his cool like this. He was the one who could drive another person insane, this was the first time it was the other way around. Well, at least after his father was removed. 

And in what way… What had just happened to him? I was always stronger than this. Was I going to murder her, out of rage, or… rape her?

He made sure the door was locked, took a glass of water and drank it down in one shot. He needed to stay inside, cool down, think about this incident and what to do next. 

I need a cold shower.

Chapter 4 - delicious disaster (I)

Miko coughed violently to catch her stolen breath. Her whole body was still shaking from the shock. She hadn't seen that outburst coming, but maybe she was too angered with his delusions of grandeur and stupid misplaced pride that were based on nothing but lies and evil deeds. She was so stressed and angered at him for leaving her out in the dark, it had clouded her mind. She hated how he was nitpicking on stupid details, as if this situation wasn't already hard enough for both of them. But, maybe if she thought this through, she should've known he was a psychopathic maniac. 

She never cared much for physical strength before, never needed it in particular because she was the tallest one at home anyway. Although Utapau Four was under First Order rule, Tagge's influence on the planet made sure she lived in a rather protected bubble. Consequently, she absolutely wasn't prepared for any kind of attack like this. 

She felt lucky she programmed her droid well.

She gently rubbed her sore throat. She could feel where the leather had left its marks. It already started stinging more, the moment she grazed her skin. This was going to bruise ugly.

She gulped. She decided she had to be extra careful with this man. He was definitely more dangerous than she anticipated. Maybe she should look into the armory again, to arm herself with something, anything, just in case. Not that she was able to shoot, but that won't matter if he came close to her. She hoped she wouldn’t hesitate too much.

Miko thought back to the moment he lunged at her and slowly started to feel confused. Something was bothering her, other than the fact that he tried to strangle her to death. His eyes went from pure rage to something else. When PC jumped on his arm, it was like he snapped out of some trance. When he did, he looked bewildered, confused, vulnerable?

But what bothered - scared - her even more, was that short moment before he let go of her neck. His grey-green eyes looked dark, glassy, and simmering hot. 

Kriff. What am I thinking? 

The cold water of the refresher was slowly calming Hux down. He tried to ignore what happened, but he knew the moment he was going to step out of his quarters, the situation was going to be very awkward. He should try to collect his messed up thoughts. 

That outburst reminded him too much about Ren, and he didn't like it one bit. This wasn't him, he should be above this. He has always been a master in self-control, since he's been in charge, up until now. 

And then, there was that other sensation he experienced, slowly creeping up on the skin of his back, giving him hot chills. 

He could feel his groin get itchy again, and turned the knob of the refresher to make the water even colder.

His mind involuntarily started drifting to the past. He hadn’t felt like this for a very long time. It’s not like he was immune to the hormonal reactions of his body, but getting the chance to actually profit from a situation and get his physical needs satisfied… that was another thing. 

There had been a few people he met when networking, trying to get to his money or get access to intel. He wasn’t stupid to give in to their feeble attempts. Fellow officers or even cadets had been trying to use him to get higher up in ranks. He disapproved of this behaviour, finding it utterly pathetic. Climbing up in the ranks and assuming a higher position should be done by knowledge, wits and politics. And, if necessary, by manipulation, but only if done well. Bribery in any form was something he had used as a tactic before, but never to get higher up. It always concurs with a significant backlash. There were always loose ends. 

Apart from that, he never was keen on the thought of having sex with a colleague itself, reminding him too much about what had happened in the past. A bed partner could’ve asked troublesome questions he rather wouldn’t like to answer. He unintentionally rubbed his stomach.

There had been a few times when he thought about getting his way though, unsurprisingly with people that were not part of the First Order. An escort on a diplomatic mission. The citizen that would've given him all, just to stop the military operation. That one feisty prisoner who had no respect for him. 

It seems he wanted to be the one choosing who he wanted to use, not being used himself. He was done with that. 

But eventually the situation never really lended itself for it. Although he made it to general, there was always someone above or beside him he had to report to. And his ambition and the future of the First Order were always a higher priority. 

But right now… he was alone, with a girl, all innocent and naive, on his ship, slowly travelling to possible hostile territory and they only had a few cards to play. He knew there was a significant chance that he wouldn’t survive much longer than a couple of days. 

And… she actually didn’t look that bad, he admitted to himself. She angered him utterly, but apparently that awoke an unexpected gnawing feeling in him. A kind of itch that needs to be stilled, or it would haunt him for the rest of his days. A sensation he tried to hide away for so long, but suddenly had broken free. 

The way her eyes shined like a blazing fire when she was mad at him or enthusiastic about who knows what, automatically popped into his mind. They were as strong as her idiotic will, passionate but also chaotic. All things he should despise, things he always despised in people, but, he didn’t want to admit it, they looked so attractive right now, like something he’s been missing for eternity. He wanted to get a taste of it. 

She was like a fire he wanted to contain just enough not to get it extinguished. 

Oh, and those hips. He suddenly remembered the way she stood in the cockpit, bending over the controls of the ship and checking out the issue on the navigation panel. He didn't feel how his fingernails were leaving marks in his palms.

He was completely lost in these disturbing thoughts, the cold recycled water still slowly streaming over his body. 

This was absolutely not the way he was supposed to be thinking to calm down.

Can I force myself onto her? He wondered. This might be my last chance to get this nonsensical physical need satisfied, without any consequences. There’s no career that I need to uphold this time. I could do whatever I want to her. 

He rubbed his face again, as if that would help him to start thinking straight. 

But is it a wise thing to do? Can I still manipulate her into helping me out on that moon of hers? It was her father she wanted to contact, if I recall correctly? 

Hux stared at the wall of the shower cabin for a few seconds. If that man knows his daughter well, he’ll most likely know something is up. 

He sighed and looked down, the water dripping from his hair, following the indents of his cheekbone, down to his chin then leaving his skin to fall to the sink. 

The risk was too big, and he was feeling like a coward again. But in the back of his mind, he was not sure if he could bring himself to not doing anything. 

He at least had to try, for his own sake, he wanted to convince himself.

Miko decided to camp in the cockpit’s seat. She had taken a blaster from the armory and had positioned it on top of her legs. PC placed himself next to the blaster. She was staring at the stars flashing by. Only a day ago, she loved the view, but now she felt a bit claustrophobic. There was nowhere she could go and hide from that asshole, the cold durasteel hull of the ship was now her confinement. She was disgusted by the First Order general’s assault, even if she probably provoked him. 

She was even more disgusted by what she thought afterwards, but she tried to ignore that particular train of thoughts, not wanting to go there again. 

He still lashed out at her like it was nothing, so he absolutely wasn’t to be trusted. She wouldn’t let him corner her again. She has always been in charge of her own persona and freedom, so in no way she was going to let him come close without her consent.

Am I ever going to grant him that? She couldn't help but wonder. 

Her head absolutely said no, but there was something nagging in the back of her mind. She never met a man like him. A kriffing self centered, merciless, fragging vain asshole, a breathing example of the Worst Order and every norm she despises. But when talking or shouting at him, she felt alive. It was good to get rid of the frustrations of the previous problematic events and if she was honest, in the life she led before; all of her friends back home were either too kind or too scared of her. This man was a challenge, and it was attracting her in every bad way there could be, she secretly admitted to herself. 

But, on the other hand, this probably could've happened with anyone she met outside of her home planet, she realised that much. The things that have occured the previous day, the adrenaline rush, and being locked up in the same cramped space together, probably have been influencing her, too. And then again, she never really met anyone taller than she was, which didn’t help either, but wasn't a particular reason to take an interest in him.

She knew she should stop thinking about things that never should happen anyway, and focus on what was coming ahead. 

What was she going to do? 

She stared into the stars, trying to collect her thoughts, but hopelessly failing.

[myheartalivewrites]

Fic Rec Friday

Thanks for tagging me @14carrotghoul! 🧡 Since I'm late already, I'm saving this for Friday and turning it back into a Fic Rec Friday post. The theme was:

So wanted to get some hiatus rec lists going and encourage some self promo in my friends so how about sharing your top fics no matter how big or small - give us the links to your wonderful words with the Most hits/Most kudos/Most comments/Most bookmarks /Most words/Least words

I like a chance to share some of my stuff, so here we go:

Most hits: Down by the Water, I Saw You - this is my top fic for many of the categories, which I think is the case for most people's long fics. I do love this a lot, it's quite an angsty (and smutty) story of Henry and Alex as exes, finding each other again and getting over past hurts to be together. There's holidays (vacations, sorry America) and beautiful scenery, teen romance and adult love, and the epilogue goes deep into their future, and it truly holds my heart.

Most kudos: Have One (On Me) - this is a ~10k one shot starring Henry as a bartender and Alex as a patron who's desperately into him. I really like the banter in this, and there's a good bit of stuff with June and Nora that I think is really fun. There's a (very fundamental) misunderstanding, sexy dancing and lots of pining too (always, always be pining.) It still surprises me that this has the most kudos out of all my fics, not because I don't like it, but simply because I often wonder at what special kind of alchemy has to happen to make something pull in the most kudos.

Most comments: if I'm being strict, it's Down by the Water again (bc multi chaps, etc), so instead I'll highlight this one: Tumbled Down and Tangled Up. It got the most overnight comments of all my fics and people seemed to really like it! It's a take on canon where Alex and Henry hook-up in the hospital closet scene from early on in the book. It was really fun to write, and I still like to go back and re-read from time to time.

Most bookmarks: Pumped - ok, this is actually third place, but i've already mentioned the top two. This is my climbing AU and it's the first thing I ever wrote for firstprince and the first thing I published on ao3. It holds a special place in my heart, just two silly boys, falling in love and not knowing how to talk to each other - until they do.

Most words: listen, the system's completely broken down at this point, categories don't make sense anymore. Happy NY is only third by word count, but I think it's my favourite of all my fics, so I wanted to put it in here! It's a New Year's Eve story, a missed connection with plenty of angst and definitely smut. It's a similar vibe to Down by the Water bc I wrote it in the middle of finishing it up, and I think of them as sister fics. It just gives me all the feels.

Least words: well, well, what is even left at this point? I only have 9 fics on ao3! I'm going with Don't Want to be a Fool for You which is my most recent fic and pretty short (for me) at around 6k. It's a roommates story where Henry pines desperately, and they are definitely shit at talking to each other, but then sex ensues.

I've had fun talking over all my fics, now time to get back to my wip! Happy reading!

EDIT: forgot to tag! Anyone who hasn’t done this yet? @cultofsappho @daisymae-12 @celeritas2997 @stutteringpeach ? I’ve lost track!

[momochizoey]

An excerpt of the multi chapter Chasefield fic I'm currently working on:

“OMG, V, don’t be obvious, but look at the hippie. She totally spaced out and broke that dumb camera of hers.”

Victoria rolled her eyes at Taylor. As if she was ever obvious about spying unless she wanted to be. What is she, an amateur? Still, she leaned back in her seat, changing the angle she was sitting at as if she was getting more comfortable listening to Mr Jefferson. She kept her gaze on him attentively for a few seconds longer (not like that was much of a chore) before she flicked her eyes to the side.

Taylor was right: Max’s camera looked busted, loose parts gathered here and there on the table, and she was visibly stressing out trying to put it back together.

Victoria almost laughed and whispered a snide remark towards Max, when suddenly the words caught in her throat.

A cloud had parted outside as Max was bent over her camera, her knuckles pressed against the side of her head. The hair falling in front of her face was lit up with a golden glow in the rays of the sun, and the soft shadow and light playfully danced across her frowning face.

Before she could think about what she was doing, she reached down to her bag. She took out her camera, aimed it at the vision before her, and with no extra thought, no perfecting the settings, no changing the depth of field, she shot.

The click of her camera snapped her out of it. Hurriedly, she tried to hide her camera again, hoping nobody saw-

“Victoria. I know this is a photography class, and I understand the urge to capture an image can feel overwhelming. But please, pay attention. I don’t get paid to talk at you, I’m here to teach you, and I can’t do that if you aren’t listening when I speak.”

She flinched at Mr Jefferson's reprimand, blushing as she noticed the rest of the class was staring at her. 

She scrambled for a convincing cover story. "I'm so sorry Mr Jefferson, I just bumped into my camera bag, and I thought I saw a scratch on the lense and wanted to see if it showed up on a picture. I was paying attention though, you were talking about chiaroscuro? That's like, the interplay between light and dark, right? Like Diane Arbus?"

He sighed. "That's correct Victoria. But please, next time, wait until after class?"

She nodded, and, ignoring her friends' inquisitive looks, she sank into her seat with her arms crossed in front of her.

What the hell was that? Why did Max-fucking-Selfield cause her to completely lose her mind? She was in the middle of class! And not just any other boring class, but Mark Jefferson's class! 

And then that picture! It was like she completely forgot everything her parents had taught her about the exact art of photography! It was entirely unprofessional, the environment was completely uncontrolled, the lighting wasn't coming from a precisely calculated angle, her model (whose identity she refused to think about for the moment) wasn't posed to her exact directions to evoke the specific emotions she had determined in advance. Frankly, she was almost convinced she must've damaged her camera by forcing it to take such a terrible photo. 

She shot the cause of this… lapse of judgement, a look of disdain, only to startle at the intense stare the normally timid hipster had aimed her way. 

Something behind those blue, usually doe-like eyes, had turned its attention to Victoria, and she could almost see the cogs turning in her skull. 

For a second, she wondered if this is how prey felt.

Then Max blinked, and the feeling disappeared.

I've been working on this fic for weeks now, and I'm currently about 7k words in? But while I want to have more chapters ready before I actually start publishing it, I got too impatient and had to share this first scene with you all here! Consider it a teaser! Anyway, I hope you like it! Life Is Strange, and especially Maximum Victory/Chasefield has (once again) taken over my heart, and I'm so excited for the moment I can share the full and completed story with you. Which is definitely coming, I'm in a pretty good writing groove and I know where I'm going, so look forward to it!

[hihopelessromantics]

OOOH! Definitely interested in your wips. Would love to hear more about these in particular (whichever one(s) you feel like sharing)

(also yes definitely still happily stuck inside this fandom bubble)

will indulge!!! (This is long but it's good to organize my thoughts lol)

I straight up forgot to put the name of this one lol. Meliodas doing dangerous antics is part of my Through the Wall sequel fic, called "Stakeout" which is the one where I have him cooking. I tried to mix in some humor with the angst here. It's basically Stigma Meliodas if Nakaba didn't nerf his intellegence. This one, I'll be feeding you guys soon!! Because I plan to try to finish Through the Wall this Thanksgiving Break, since I started it last thanksgiving break (ambitious I know, but imagine the poetism if I pull it off!) and Stakeout is farther along in its completion than that one. Stakeout is about Meliodas looking out for the TC and his brother from the opposite of the war. The first part is him deciding to try to get them dinner after seeing how worn-down they are, and the second . . . well, he can't exactly leave Zeldris to watch over both the Vampire and Demon Realms all by his lonesome, right? I'm actually really excited for you and @7-ratsinatrenchcoat to see this one in particular when it's finished because I tried to channel the melizabeth energy I liked in your work

This one is named such not cause I wanna name it something bulky (it has a better name! that's the exclusive lore lol) but I'm commited not to spoiling the plot twists in this one. This is gonna be my main gift to this fandom, a spiced up psychological horror rewrite of the whole show with original elizabeths and original adventures for the first and second season (that one is a backstory with Liz!) Plot point collaboration welcome. A bunch of season one, and the plot tiwsts, I made with my good friend zeldriszezinho, and I'm pretty antsy and excited to finally get around to it and present him with the result of our hard work, haha. I actually have a lot of senarios planned both in detail and loosely, just not written down. I'm currently procrastinating on Season 1 Pt. 2 because it's literally 5 or so arcs of content, one for all the sins, and uh. mental energy. So I'm trying to finish up a lot of small projects first just so my mind isn't everywhere. I can't remember if you've seen what I've posted on it so far but here's the masterpost and season one part one! It's on tumblr too! but I went ahead and pressed the space bar like 4 times every indent so it would be normally formatted on A03 sooooo https://archiveofourown.org/works/48567730 https://archiveofourown.org/works/48611485/chapters/122618557

3. Ironically, think Rings was another one inspired by you - it's old, almost 8 months by now, and the only reason I haven't published it yet is the second ellie spiraled out of control into her own adventure and I haven't had the time because I've been word vomiting so many other projects into existence. it's half meme format, half usual writing. The second ellie's meme story is complete and the third's just needs its wrapping up of its actual plot, which is simple: an arrogant man thinks his bride is secretly a nutcase, but feels pressured into marrying her because medival times, because she's a sweet and intellegent woman running an orphanage all by herself, and technically he can't do better, and because it would look disasterously on the both of them and destroy his carefully crafted persona if they somehow couldn't make this community-arranged marriage work. So he's "putting up with her quirks." Including the ancient what-looks-like-wedding-rings she wears around her neck, and the fact she genuinely thinks her one-that-got-away lover sold a prized possession to demons. (the significance of these rings is in the stories of the previous two elizabeths). Well. Actually. He steals them while she's distracted with wedding planning. It doesn't go well for him from there.

Let me know your opinion: should I try finishing the third ellie and then publishing it? I can always go back and make a full story out of "purple ring" ellie + friends later.

Basically, the purple ring's story is as thus: Meliodas decides he needs to rest, "REALLY rest", since his emotional stress is beginning to affect his demon biology in a bad way, and voluntarily coma-tizes himself for a while. He wakes some time later only to find out Elizabeth and her new 'family' have been considering him as their good luck charm. (Maybe even more than one Elizabeth has passed by now. Probably the apothecary he visits figures out what Meliodas meant to do and goes to fetch him, too late, and looks after him . . . see, that could be a whole OTHER story in itself. anyway.) He's a "good luck charm" because his demon aura has been disgusing the magical signature of her druid family, not that they've figured this out. Meliodas tries to get up and run away with an injured Ellie but surprise surprise he hasn't quite recovered from what his body and mind has been through, and the combination of that and the drugs has left him critcially weakened. He actually collapses falls down a small cliff with her. Ellie assures him they've gotten far enough to shake off the people who are searching for her, that it's okay. Moreover, she understands more or less what he's going through, since she lost her leg a while back. They reuinte with Ellie's little "siblings," druid children the family has rescued along their journey.

Later ~ the main organizers of their group are shocked to return to their isolated cabin to find that not only have all the children survived the winter, and possible clashes with whoever's been hunting them for decades, but there's one extra child! And a talking cow. (I haven't decided whether some of these people are semi-antagonsists.) Meliodas's condition never improves (angst angst <3) but he takes up the task of looking after the kids alongside Elizabeth anyway- especially when she and the others are gone, working or otherwise. Oftentimes he and the spunky talking cow go on adventures in the forest or in town, collecting herbs or materials for crafts and toys. She carries him, Hawk-style. I can't remember her name but it was a silly one, and he saves her life once with his wings. He's also fought away intruders once while the 'adults' weren't home with Full Counter, being able to stand for long enough to use it before collapsing.

In this iteration, Meliodas recieves his ring from his new 'siblings' as they say that "it's the same color as the magic you used to protect us." Referring to the times he's used his demon magic around the house, and, unknowingly, to the fact his very presence has been the only thing keeping them safe from raiders on more than one occasion. Throughout it all Meliodas struggles with having to be the one cared for for once, and not being able to be the muscle of this group that so clearly would benefit from him being his 'usual' self. While his siblings think he's a genuine gift from God, and are more than happy to look after him as he does them, trading stories between them and cuddling up like he truly belongs, adult members of the family never take a shine to him and resent him somewhat, even perrfering when he was comatose. There's more (and more angst) but I should probably say less.

4. (TW: this one gets DARK with the demon brothers angst) modern fantasy ireland boarding school au" is actually another gift for @gh0stofyesterday, who can't escape me, from back in like feburary or something lol. It's an angsty modern-day genderqueer demon brothers and genderqueer elizabeth. Basically Meliodas tricks his snooty father into letting him and his brother (who's not technically old enough but academically girlboss yourself outta that condundrum zeldris) go to boarding school in his deceased mother's home country, where Meliodas plans to study interior design (he's gonna design the boar hat himself <3) and, against his father's wishes, join the gymnastic team. Little does he know that his online friends in his tween gymnastics discord server or whatever (The TC) are also going to end up there. ( I have the scene where they realize he's not the snooty daughter of the DK ceo and actually their Captain planned out already actually. they realize it when he beats the snot out of some guy that chases zeldris through the gymnasium lol).

Other plot points include! Elizabeth and Meliodas have a secret online romance as "Study buddies" and plan to perform a ceremony to use whatever their magic is unsealed to share a bit of that magic with each other, as a kind of marriage ceremony (peak 14 year old romance lol). Meliodas and Zeldris learn (originally Irish) sign language in order to communicate without their father snooping. Cusack and Chandler deal with being technical slaves to the Demon King and attempt to parent their protegees in more important ways than teaching them fencing, keeping their secrets, and buying them things. Gelda explains she never cuddles with her sisters for emotional support, Zel and Mel feel sorry for her . . . then figure out they are touch-starved and probably need therapy for that too. Hot springs date. Zel discovers Mel has been cuddling him while laying on his side specifically because there are fresh child abuse wounds across his back. Meliodas commandeers his gymnastics coach's coaching authority and starts an underground fencing ring upon being told he can't do that (we go to school in a castle! c'mon!). Zeldris tries to deal with a ginger-haired kid who seems equally hellbent on being his friend as he is his school rival. Depending on how dark I'm gonna make this, you might even get to see a prolouge where Zeldris forgoes a plan to murder - suicide his brother following his mother's funeral after meeting a small Gelda at the playground. Oh, and the DK having to fidgit uncomfortably in court. This one is basically a for-fun daydream, but a pal volunteed to beta it for me so it will eventually get written up for you all!

[astoldbygingersnaps]

HARPER’S 2022 FIC WRAP-UP

WELL GANG, WHAT A YEAR IT HAS BEEN!

first off, i know i’ve fallen off A Lot on tumblr in the last year, so my deepest and most sincere apologies for that. 2022 was a chaotic, frustrating, and overall deeply transformative year (for both better and worse) for me, and with all the changes/struggles in my professional and personal life it’s been difficult to maintain a decent posting schedule along with like. continuing to talk to people and function as a human being lmfao.

alas, another year has come to an end, and though i considered not doing my annual wrap-up, it’s become something of a tradition for me at this point, so fuck it, we ball.

without further ado, let’s talk fanfic:

projects i updated/completed in 2022:

oceans between us (shiita; 38,737 words; complete)

it’s a testament to how heinously long and strange this year was that when i sat down to draft up this wrap-up i genuinely fucking forgot i finished this fic in 2022. wild!

like a lot of fics i write (or want to write, and then do not) this fic was born from an attachment to a particular image or idea that inspired inspiration and then i had to pull a whole plot out of my ass to justify its existence. this was very much the case with the first chapter of ‘oceans between us’ aka atonement au, where the spirit of doomed historical romances and period-typical repression and sexual tension possessed me like a ghost and caused me to cough up the first chapter of that fic in like two days. i also wanted to write something that was very different than the typical character interactions and tone that existed in my previous works, and even looking back on it now i still think it’s a really unique and interesting addition to the works i’ve published thus far.

like i’ve said before, originally this was going to be a oneshot that ended where the first chapter does, i.e. with shisui going to jail and the relationship between him and itachi purposefully left without resolution. but that idea reeeeally much did not go over well when i discussed it with other people (aka my wife), which left me with the very real problem of how to conclude this goddamn fic. and that’s where itachi came in.

hilariously, i feel like this fic ushered in an unofficial (and accidental) era of itachi pov takeover where nearly everythng i wrote last year (and definitely everything i published in 2022) was in itachi’s pov exclusively. that said, after the events at the end of the last chapter, it felt necessary to have itachi tell the final chapter because i knew i needed to have a good explanation for his lack of action at the conclusion of chapter one and i also needed to get people back on his side for the end of the fic to land successfully.

in terms of structure, the switching of tenses and time periods was both incredibly fun and incredibly annoying in terms of editing and consistently, but i do feel like it added an immediacy and level of fear to the fic that enhanced the reading. if you’ve read the original book, you know that the characters itachi and shisui are (loosely) based on (cecilia and robbie) both die and never have their happy ending in real life, only in fiction. so i wanted the reader to feel real concern that these two crazy kids might not make it after all.

overall, i ended up being really, really happy with how this fic turned out, and some of my favorite scenes i’ve ever written (namely, the reunion scene between shisui and itachi in the cafe) are in this story. more than anything, it was just nice to start the year by finishing something.

lazarus taxon (shiita; 38,256 words; in progress)

quite frankly, this fic was the bane of my existence in 2022 for a variety of reasons.

first off, this chapter was an absolute Nightmare to write. as many of you may remember, initially i had planned jurassic world au as a three-part fic, whereas now it is... not quite that anymore. having written and published the first two chapters within a pretty short timespan, when i sat down to seriously work on (what i thought was) the final chapter, it rapidly became clear that there was no way to successfully wrap this shit up in one more installment. and as i was writing, it was pretty obvious that i was rushing from plot point to plot point trying to get the fic finished rather than taking the time to make it a story i was proud of and would want to re-read. once i realized that, it became a guessing game of what i was missing, and once i thought about it, the answer was obvious: conflict.

(we will have this discussion again next year when i tell the tale of how, in january 2023, i ended up scrapping almost the entire (actual) last chapter of this fic because i had to learn this lesson all over again.)

narratively speaking, blue’s injury served a few important purposes. first off, it’s a chance to see shisui--who’s been something of a handsome and charming enigma--soften up and appear a lot less composed and in control than he’s previously been. that vulnerability was necessary if he and itachi were going to push their relationship to another level, and also necessary to motivate itachi to take a real, genuine stand against fugaku and all his fugaku-ery. (it was also, admittedly, a chance for me to continue to play in the sandbox i’ve created where i get to use a lot of my real world knowledge and skills--namely, animal behavior and veterinary medicine, the two things i do for a living.)

once i unlocked that piece of the puzzle, everything started to fall into place, and then i knew that i would need an entire chapter to devote to itachi and shisui as a couple--what their relationship would look like, how dating would change them, and if, given the differences between them, it was possible to even sustain a relationship in the first place. which is why i ended on the confession scene, so everything that came after would be something of a blank slate and the finale could just be the--pun intended--evolution of their bond.

all that said, by the time i was finished with this chapter i had spent so much time, effort, and energy trying to wrangle it into something readable i was kind of drained by it, and that fact along with the knowledge that it’s never been my most popular fic (and that the reception to this update was a little quiet) left me burnt out by fanfic for a bit. it also didn’t help that, as i’ve previously discussed, this was around the time my entire life was uprooted by losing my job so there were just. a lot of factors working against me that really zapped my inspiration. if only another project could have come along and truly inspired me...

pack up (don’t stray) (shiita; 63,923 words; completed)

hilariously, i had way more Profound and Meaningful shit to say about this fic, but tumblr ate a chunk of my post when i was trying to save it and i’m too annoyed at this stupid website to try and recreate all of my previous comments in depth. 

what i will say is that, if there’s any fic that stands a chance of surpassing star trek au as the fic i’m most known for, i’m really, really happy it’s this one. i love this fic from beginning to end, i think it’s one of the strongest pieces i’ve published, and i’m honored that other people have become as invested in the sad, weird little world as i am. honestly, it’s been so touching to see how many people have connected with this story and how it’s gone from a piece i mentioned in my 2021 wrap-up as really loving but being kind of sad about the lack of traction to a fic that developed a really dedicated reader-base who provided some of the best comments and feedback i’ve ever gotten. and since the two updates were so different from one another (and the final chapter is so, so long) it only feels appropriate to give them each their own sections.

chapter two:

to be blunt, there’s a really good chance that the second chapter of band au is my favorite thing i’ve ever written, full stop. part of the reason i think i have such fondness for this chapter (besides the fact that that i accomplished all my goals for this section of the story with this chapter and i feel like the writing itself is pretty good) is the fact that i wrote almost all of it in the span of about six or eight hours like a madman. in doing so, it was really easy to stay focused, maintain a tight grip on the pacing and narrative, and let everything flow from there.

like i said in my 2021 wrap-up, part of the appeal of this story was to push itachi and shisui to the brink of likability and test how many crappy things they could do to one another while people still had empathy for them (the answer turned out to be: a lot!) i think part of why so many people have reached out to tell me that this fic affected them so much is because, in some ways, all the pain and misery is just so mundane. there’s no spaceships or magic ninjas or genetically-modified dinosaurs; it’s just two people breaking each other’s hearts, over and over again, the same terrible shit that happens every day and there’s something really relatable about that. (for more on this point, see my answer to this ask.)

(speaking of relatability--as someone who has struggled with substance abuse for the entirely of their adult life and is always working on their sobriety, the prospect of dipping into that well was incredibly daunting, and i’m happy that it felt authentic to people who were reading.)

i don’t want to gush over my own writing because that seems tacky, but man oh man. there’s just so many things about this chapter i love and i’m just so happy other people felt the same way. anyway, time for the finale!

chapter three:

in some ways, the final chapter of band au was one of the pieces i was most nervous to write. after spending two chapters taking a wrecking ball to the shiita relationship in this fic, the prospect of piecing it back together in a fashion that felt genuine and respectful of the trauma they both experienced seemed kind of impossible.

like most of my projects, i knew from the beginning what the end of this fic was going to be. i actually knew the ending to band au better than most of my other stories, because before i even finished chapter one i knew the last chapter would end with the airport scene and i knew the specific lines of dialogue that would conclude the fic itself. the problem was how to justify even the possibility of shisui and itachi considering getting back together after everything they did to one another in the last chapter.

the first step seemed to be presenting how much they’d grown (itachi is sober, shisui got married--and divorced!-- and had a kid, both of their careers had progressed in different directions, etc.) to show that perhaps they were evolving to a point where they could learn to be in each other’s lives again. i really enjoyed re-imagining this characters as, in theory, older and wiser and adding in newer characters and original details to flesh out the lives they had created when they were apart from one another. honestly, my heart is so soft for both millie and heather, and i’m genuinely so happy that my ocs--always a dicey prospect in fic--got such a warm reception. i also really loved getting to show the band as a functioning, familial unit and all the different relationships that existed amongst the four of them. and how can i not love mean little sasuke with his suburban chickens and burning hatred for shisui. 

the second step, as it often seems to be for me, was making peace with the fact that this chapter was going to have to be approximately eight hundred thousand years long if i wanted to stick the landing. if i was going to trace itachi’s journey from suspicion and lingering mistrust, to warily allying himself with shisui, to realizing he actually enjoys being around shisui again, to realizing how much he still misses and loves shisui, to taking a risk and giving shisui a second chance despite literally every reason not to do so, i was going to have to take my time and earn that decision. even though writing this one chapter ate up the majority of my writing time this year, i’m really happy with the length of this chapter and the different locations and events it followed, because i feel like it gave the story a lived-in quality that was necessary given how over-the-top the second chapter was.

on the other end of making this reunion functional and believable, inevitably this chapter also had to be the shisui redemption tour. i’ve made it clear in the past that, as shitty as his behavior was post-break-up, i don’t think he’s entirely responsible for the nuclear end to he and itachi’s relationship. that said, i knew it was going to take a lot to get both itachi and the reader back on board with Shisui and Itachi: The Sequel, which is why we get to see so much more of him than we did in previous chapters: rather than itachi quickly summarizing events or the narrative presenting small bits of dialogue, we actually to spend a lot more time with shisui the flesh and blood person now that he’s not the idealized or villainized version that lives in itachi’s head. and it wasn’t until he was a fully realized person again that there was any hope of him and itachi making things work, which... let’s talk about that ending.

i knew from the very beginning that i didn’t want to end this fic with shisui and itachi officially getting back together. considering all the shit they’d gone through, it didn’t seem realistic to have them suddenly live happily ever after. this was always a messy story about messy people and i didn’t want to give it an easy ending. i always wanted to end this story on the idea of a new beginning, of a better future, rather than a tidy resolution to this relationship, because it seemed so much more authentic to their journey and, to me, more meaningful. and, though i’ve had people tell me they wish i’d written a better ending, it’s a decision i still stand by 1000000000000% as the right choice. that and i’m writing a sequel oneshot as we speak so it’s not even really the ending anyways

i really could talk forever about this au. of all the fics i have, published and unpublished, it really does stand out as one that’s special and so very close to my heart, and i’ve spent so much time thinking about these washed up losers that i think i could keep returning to this ‘verse again and again for as long as i continue to write fanfic.

so, that’s it! it’s kind of hilarious i had so much to say given that i fell far below my own expectations for 2022 in terms of writing, but what can you do.

in the spirit of being a little more productive (and certainly a lot more positive), let’s set some goals for 2023:

i’m finishing the last chapter of jurassic world au even if it kills me

I AM ALSO FINISHING THE NEXT STAR TREK AU CHAPTER EVEN IF IT KILLS ME

after, like, three years of hibernation i actually dusted off my pacrim au and yep, you guessed it--i want to finish that sucker, too

finally, since i’m hoping to take two (2) fics off my plate, i’d like to finally get serious about publishing the first chapter of the shiita enemies to lovers vampires and werewolves au i’ve had in the works, which i’m very excited to share with everyone

if you made it this far, thanks so much for reading! if you’d like to find me elsewhere, i’m a lot more active on twitter, so feel free to stop by and say hello.

see you soon!

[fountainpenguin]

Hello! This isn't trying to pressure you or anything, I'm just genuinely curious and wanted to know about your plans for Mario content (since I know you've wanted to do that for a while). Any fun worldbuilding you'd like to share? :)

Thanks for the Ask!

Man, I wrote Mario world stuff ages ago that I completely forgot about... I had a 100 Prompts series and I think I got into the 30s before it stopped. I had tons of worldbuilding for Cackletta and Fawful specifically since they were my favorites :)

I do still keep my [current] Mario drafts around, but unfortunately I'm not sure when I'll post them... I'm never satisfied. I like the canon worldbuilding the way it is and it Does Not Translate very well into my writing style. I've tried for years, but it just... doesn't.

My Mario stuff is "okay," but it just feels very "meh" to me. I think I'll get there someday if I'm willing to work on it, but I'm not able to do that right now. I HAVE actually thought about it and I might post the occasional one-shot, but I'm not sure yet. My worldbuilding is still all over the place and it's very messy and I'm not in love with it.

---

One of my stories is called "Political Machines" and it's about how the name "Mario Kart" came to be; it's Peach POV and delves into the culture of racing Yoshis back before karts came around. I like the idea of it a lot, but it's extremely info-dumpy and I've been struggling with it for years. I think I need to write something else first, but I haven't figured out what. Here's a scene from that:

I also love how savage Peach is skdflj:

---

I also have two Bowser stories (a one-shot called "1-Down" which is Kamek POV and covers the deaths of Bowser's parents, which I LOVE but can't make it hit right) and a very loose draft for a story called Carapace Rex which is a Bowser backstory 'fic. Here's a good scene from the former:

I do miss this 'fic... I really like how extreme Bowser is despite how badly bullied he is by his abusive mom; he's vicious to her and I love that.

tbh it's actually really nice and maybe I'm overthinking it. I'd love to finish it; I just can't get the emotions right.

That said, I might take another whack at it soon and post when I'm done fiddling since I've already seen how I'll fiddle with it for years if I don't commit to a date /shrug. It's definitely one of the stories that ever was... It's just not hitting the emotions I need it to.

---

I LOVE the opening lines to Carapace Rex (not sharing for major "1-Down" spoiler reasons), but I probably won't write the latter since it's been almost 6 years since I started it back in 2018. Getting older, hoping to publish original work, and starting a new long 'fic wouldn't be a good idea (Dog's Life draft started in early 2022 and Factor in 2018; I'm just wrapping up existing projects for now, but Carapace was always super vague so I don't really want to get into it). I might turn it into a one-shot though since I really love the voice in it.

-> The concept behind Carapace was that Koopas were predators of Toads... I actually reskinned the intro for Carapace into a piece of original content I used in my advanced creative writing class in college, then reskinned it again as the backstory for my OC Courtney the snow leopard, then reskinned it again to be the original project I took to a writer's conference this year...

I'm dying to do something original with predators and prey, but I've had a lot of talks with agents and editors and professional authors and we agreed it's not the right time for this content. To make a long story short, I'd either have to strip the fantasy politics out and de-age the characters so it's "animal people middle grade" or I'd have to age up the characters and push the adult angle and I... I don't know how I feel about my public author persona being "adult furry content"...... that's not what I want; I just want wolf kids hunting in the woods for their coming of age and growing up in this post-war world of fantasy politics and ceremonies... sob. The publishing world has categories though and you have to play by the rules.

Maybe someday... but I have a weird relationship with Carapace because of that, because I'm in LOVE with the scenes from it but I'd hate to use them in Mario fanfic when I'd like to use them in original work. Tsk-tsk. Maybe someday once I've already gotten my foot in the door. I'm keeping this project on the backburner as something I might self-publish but I've talked to a lot of people and I'd rather get something published traditionally and try to build my author platform before I invest, because self-pub is... expensive.

Honestly right now Dog's Life is giving me my "we're way too young to be carrying the weight of this many interspecies politics on our shoulders" fix, so at least I have that <3

---

I also have an 8-chapter 'fic called "Out of You" which is about Kamek trying to raise the Koopalings (and Junior). I'll probably scrap most of that and rehash it as something else; I don't think there's much worth saving...? I'll have to think about it.

But here's my favorite WIP scene from it, ft. Ludwig and Peach:

:)

Potential's good, fun is good... Just need to find the right kind of worldbuilding that satisfies me. I'd originally hoped to post Mario stuff before the movie came out in April, but I just never got around to it. Maybe someday? It just doesn't feel right, though, and I can't invest my energy in something I'm not in love with.

---

That's all I have to say right now; I don't want to say too much about my worldbuilding since it's still super messy. I have ideas about what would be "cool" or "interesting" but I just... don't love those ideas enough to make them part of "my take" on the world. There is a fine line between "Riddle's usual magical realism writing style" and "At this point it's an AU." I think I need to cull back the crazy ideas and stick closer to canon.

Is that "boring" and "uncreative"? Eh, I think that's just where my passion lies; I write fanfics because I love the media, and if I didn't love it, I wouldn't be writing fanfics. When I write, I want to continue writing the worldbuilding that I love, which means basing it closely on the media. I guess I'll always be canon compliant at heart even in a fandom where I'm okay with writing AUs, ha ha.

Maybe I'll dig up some of my really old one-shots from that 100 prompts project, clean them up a little, and post some of them. I know there were some Baby Bowser and Doopliss pieces in there. Might be a nice icebreaker.

[onigiri-dorkk]

Goals + updates for 2023!

(plus sneak-talks into my future fics!)

ALRIGHT RIVAMIKA FRIENDS! This evening (now that I've finally come back from my short New Year's trip... as well as recovered from major car sickness on the way back home l o l), my birthday-week-and-writing-sabbatical (😂) officially begins!

If you've been following, I've been hustling since November with my IRL workload and it has taken time away from writing and fandom things, so I had planned that from January 1st for a whole entire week I will dedicate my time to rest in the form of writing. No work, no emails, no ads...

NOTHING except sitting in coffeeshops or beautiful places and writing stories from my heart again.

During the holidays I had a couple of technically free days, so I wanted to get a one-shot in to get myself ready and warm up for this week (and then produced last week's one-shot, The Perfect Brew, which might mark my all-time favorite one-shot I've written so far).

The hard part was deciding what the heck to focus on and commit to. I thought about keeping it free, but knew it would lead to more one-shots, which is fine too.

But after I came back home and rested, I sorted through my WIP's (which, at this point, I actually have 7! I just forgot about 4 of them omg) and I rediscovered a WIP in my Google Docs I loved and forgot about, and that is the orphanage fic.

I don't think I've shared much about it just yet, but it will be a multi-chapter fic set after Season 3, and both Historia's orphanage and castle will play a big role in the plot for Levi, Mikasa and the Scouts. Obviously I don't think I will complete the entire fic just in this week (sheesh... I can't even imagine?!) but I aim to make a good dent in it and hopefully publish something by my birthday weekend :) I believe this is the one I want to make the most progress in, and hopefully get something published from it, though I can't promise timely updates the way you got Microcosmos every week or two.

Also on the back burner that I might trudge through this week is the Ackerman (Kenny, Levi, Mikasa) short-fic, and a post-war reunion fic that will likely be a long-fic. Then deeeeeep in my backburner is also a post-war long-fic that will circle around Levi and Mikasa and gang as Paradis refugees; I foresee this as something that will be a lot darker and angstier.

I'm honestly just excited for starting 2023 dedicating passion-time to writing; it feels like me saying YES to dedicating this full year to growing as a writer. I only began writing in May so it's strange that I haven't even hit a full year of doing so... But knowing that 2023 is starting and ending with me in love with writing is just exciting. I'm PUMPED. I have other ideas (maybe starting a Rivamika-specific writers' accountability group, etc) but I'll save all of that for another time hehe.

All this to say, thank you to all of my fandom friends I've made here who have encouraged me and brought me soooo much joy and inspiration literally on the daily. You don't understand how much your presence here has helped me in my real daily life, and has sustained this newfound inspiration. It makes writing and creating art not feel like an echo-in-a-chamber. To have real people enjoying what we create together, encouraging each other in the process, and sharing their joys for it, it's just sooo important and meaningful. Thank you all!! I will continue to ~dedicate my heart~ to creating art in lots of forms for our lil community here. :)

Please look forward to another year of Onigiri's proud hyper-fixation on Rivamika ;)

(P.S. I can see my nighttimes being filled with reading all of y'alls fanfics that I haven't gotten to read yet!!! PLS!! I CANT WAIT!)