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themysteryofwriting · 5 years ago

Note

for your bthb, how about logan as "the collector"?

@badthingshappenbingo

The Collector (Sanders sides fic)

Word Count: 3003

TW: Kidnapping, Taxidermy on a person, blunt force trauma, character death, implied use of a date rape drug, major character death

Everyone collected things. Some people collect stuffed animals, other people collect pins, and even others collect stamps. So why was Logan so different just because he collected people.

He had collected quite a few people throughout the years. There was Patton, who had been there the longest. He was a sweet guy. Always cheerful, even now, trying to keep the others upbeat and happy. Patton had been here since Logan’s senior year of college. They had met at a small cafe. Patton trusted way too easily. It wasn’t hard to get that ball of sunshine to come with him.

The twins came about a year after Patton. He saw them during a show he went to and knew he just had to have them. The twins being Roman and Remus of course. Named after the Roman legend and just exquisite in every way. They took a bit more planning to get then Patton. Which was no surprise considering Patton had literally walked with him until Logan had decided they were close enough for him to drug him. But nevertheless, the twins were added to the Collection. It was such a shame he couldn’t talk to them anymore, but they had made their choice. If they had listened, then Logan wouldn’t have to have gone to such extreme measures.

A little bit after that, and before the twins made their massive mistake came Dee. He was a shy boy, who didn’t trust many people. He also had a burn on the right side of his face. He had actually met him before the twins, but it took nearly a year for Dee to trust him enough for him to get him. He had only been with them a few weeks before the incident with the twins. But it was clear after that that neither Dee nor Patton would be trying anything.

And his most recent edition, at least until today, going only a few months back. He had met him on the way to work and got the same feeling that he had gotten for the twins. He just had to have Virgil. Virgil took a little bit longer to get but he was with them now.

And today, Logan had found a new target. He would have probably passed right by her if he hadn’t noticed the missing posters she was putting up. They were missing posters for Virgil. He had seen them around here and there and had tried taking them down without arousing any suspicion. He didn’t realize who had been putting them up though. Before doing anything, he had to find out more about her. He picked up one of the flyers she had and walked over to her. “I think you dropped this.”

“Oh thank you,” she said, smiling take the flyer. “Sorry, I’m probably dropping them everywhere.”

“No, it’s fine,” Logan said with a smile. “Do you mind if I ask who that is?”

The girl shook her head. “He’s my older brother, Virgil. He went missing a few months back. Everyone else seems to think he’s run away, but I know my brother better than that. We’re really close, he wouldn’t have left without telling me.”

Interesting. Virgil hadn’t said anything about a sister. And she would be both a good addition to his Collection and a good way to keep Virgil in line. “...You know what I think he looks familiar.”

“Really,” Virgil’s sister asked hopefully. “Do you know where you could have seen him? Was it recently?”

“....You’re really worried about him, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, he’s my older brother, we’ve always protected each other….,” Virgil’s sister winced as she realized something, “I’m sorry, I realized I forgot to ask for your time.”

Logan smiled softly at her. “Logan Berry,” he said introducing himself, using a fake last name just in case she decided to do some research.

“It’s nice to meet you, Logan,” she said, smiling up at him, giving off the same energy as Patton, “My name’s Rachel.”

“Why don’t we go to the cafe so we can talk this out.”

“Well I need to finish putting up these posters first,” Rachel said, “Someone keeps tearing these down, I’m free tomorrow afternoon though. Maybe around 2ish?”

Logan nodded. “Then we can talk then.”

Rachel nodded. “See you then,” she said before heading off.

“Rachel Bosque,” Logan muttered, knowing her last name because of his research on Virgil. He grinned a bit. She would be an excellent addition to his Collection. He abandoned his original plan of what he was going to do and head home.

“I’m home~,” Logan called out as he walked inside the house. If you could even call it a house with how gigantic it was.

Before going to work, he went to check on the rest of his Collection. Dee and Patton both glanced up and clearly knew what the look on his face was.

Virgil, like he had been the past couple months, was sulking in the corner, glaring at Logan.

“You’re back early Lolo,” Patton said with a smile that wasn’t entirely real.

Dee just sat next to Patton, already scared for the newcomer. He knew by now that Logan wouldn’t hurt him if he didn’t mess up, but he was still quiet.

Logan nodded, smiling a bit. “I think I found a good addition to the Collection.”

Virgil’s eyes widened in disbelief, where Patton and Dee nodded, having recognized the look on Logan’s face.

“Who is it,” Patton asked.

“You never told me you had a sister Virgil.”

That made Virgil growl. “Leave her the fuck alone. She has nothing to do with this!”

“Ah don’t be like that Virgil, you know I’m not going to hurt her. Besides, don’t you want to see your sister again?”

“I don’t want you to have anything to do with her.”

Logan tsked. “Now Virgil, I don’t want to have to punish you again.”

Virgil flinched slightly before going quiet, he was still glaring at Logan though.

Logan smiled and hummed before going to do research on Rachel. He hummed a bit as he did so, wondering how he hadn’t come across her before. If he hadn’t already known that they were related, he might assume they were dating with the number of her photos Virgil was in. It seemed like she worked in a theatre, working on props and stuff like that if the theatre’s page was any accurate. The more he read, the more he was certain she would be a perfect fit for his Collection. If his interaction with her earlier was any indication, she would be easy to grab. He could probably slip something into her drink when she went to the bathroom and simple as that he would have her.

Noticing the time, Logan got food for himself and his Collection before planning everything for tomorrow. He would have her before dinner time tomorrow, he just knew it. After he finished getting everything together he headed to bed so he would be refreshed for their meeting tomorrow.

Upon waking up, Logan did his normal routine for himself and his Collection before double and triple-checking that he had everything he would need. After being sure, he headed out to the cafe that they had planned to meet. He didn’t have to wait long, as Rachel showed up soon after he did.

“Hey Logan, you weren’t waiting long were you?”

“Not at all, should I order us drinks?”

“Sounds great,” Rachel beamed putting her stuff down. “I’ll go to the bathroom while you’re doing that. Get me a hot chocolate, I’m not really one for caffeine.”

Logan nodded, ordering the drinks as she headed to the bathroom, slipping something into Rachel’s while no one else was looking before heading back to their table and putting their drinks down.

Rachel soon came out. “So do you know where you might have seen him?”

“Well I’m going to have to think about,” Logan said as he watched Rachel take a sip of her cocoa and started a mental timer. “I think it was about a month ago.”

“You saw him a month ago,” Rachel asked, a little too excited, “That’s so much sooner than anyone else has seen him!”

Logan smiled a bit. “Well let me see if I can remember where.”

Logan kept listing places, with Rachel scribbling them down until he noticed Rachel struggling to keep focus.

“Hey you don’t look so good, maybe you should head home.

Rachel nodded, starting to stand up before she stumbled again. “....I don’t think I’ll make it home,” she muttered, her words slurring.

“Well then I can take you home,” Logan hummed, “What’s your address?”

Rachel muttered something incoherent as Logan started ‘taking her home’. Of course, that wasn’t necessarily her home. Before too much longer she fell unconscious and Logan picked her up, a little surprised with how light she was, as he started walking home.

It didn’t take too long for them to get back and quickly injected her with the tracker he injected all of them with and quickly set that so he’d be alerted if she tried to leave or anything like that. As soon as that was set up he brought her to the others.

“What did you do to her,” Virgil practically shouted upon seeing Rachel.

“Oh calm down Virgil, it was only something to keep her unconscious a bit. She’ll wake up soon.” Logan put her down on one of the beds and as soon as Logan stepped away, Virgil ran up to her to make sure she was okay.

“I’ll come back to check on you later,” Logan said with a smile as he left. Virgil just growled at Logan, trying to protect his sister. Logan just smiled, needing to get everything else ready for when she woke up. Well, technically most of it would be coming tomorrow but he still needed to get it ready. He wanted his Collection to be happy after all. He kept an eye on the time for when he knew Rachel would be waking up.

Once the time approached, he got up and headed back over. Sure enough, Rachel was starting to stir. Virgil started glaring at Logan as he showed up, to which Logan only responded with a smile.

“...Virge,” Rachel asked quietly, starting to sit up. It was almost like if she was afraid if she spoke louder he’d be gone.

And just like that, Virgil turned away from Logan to pay attention to his sister. “I’m right here Ray, I’m so sorry.”

Rachel practically tackle hugged Virgil and sniffled a bit. “You’re okay, you’re really okay.”

“Depends what you mean by okay,” Virgil muttered, glaring a bit at Logan again.

Rachel noticed and finally got a good look at their surroundings. He watched as her eyes glanced around the room, which he made sure had things for all of them to do, before her eyes landed on him and she realized what happened. “...Logan you….drugged me?”

“I’m sorry, but I needed to grab you quickly, and besides, now you’re reunited with Virgil,” Logan said.

Logan could practically see the moment she realized. “You….you were the one who took him.”

“He was just a perfect addition to my collection, just like you.”

Virgil clung tighter to his sister as Logan said that.

“Now I’m sure the others can explain everything to you, but the most important thing. As long as you listen to me, you won’t get hurt.” Upon saying that, Logan walked away, hearing Patton starting to explain everything to Rachel.

And with that Logan went back to his normal schedule….at least for the next 3 weeks. Once Rachel had been there for three weeks, just when Logan was about to go to bed, he got an alert.

He glanced over to see who it was. It looked like it was Virgil and Rachel. Logan sighed and got up to check on the situation. Fortunately, they weren’t anywhere close to the door so Logan headed to a good place to meet up with them, hoping the situation was like he thought it was.

Soon enough, they showed up, Virgil all but pulling his sister along. Rachel glanced around looking scared and actually freezing upon seeing Logan standing there.

Virgil growled upon seeing Logan. “I’m not going to let you keep us here.”

“Did Patton and Dee never tell you about the twins?”

“The twins,” Rachel asked quietly.

“They are part of Collection too, but they tried to escape, and...let’s just say they’re not with everyone else.”

Virgil realized the implication and pulled Rachel behind him, protecting her.

“Now you have two options. You two can either go back to the others and have a small punishment in the morning, or you can fight me and lose, and find out firsthand what exactly happened to the twins.”

“Virge I-,” Rachel said, clearly terrified.

“Well I choose option 3, I knock you out and get my sister and me out of here,” Virgil’s voice softened before speaking to Rachel. “Don’t worry Ray, I got this.”

Logan just smirked, prepared to fight.

Rachel nodded slightly and stepped back, not wanting to get caught up in the fight.

“Let’s do this,” Virgil growled, immediately lunging at Logan.

Logan sighed and literally just stepped to the side and avoided him. ��You know you’re going to have to try harder than that,” he said with a scoff.

Virgil just growled again and changed into a fighting stance before going into attack.

Logan easily fought back. He was almost a little bored with how easy this was. “I’ll give you one last chance to go back to the others, Virgil.”

“Fuck no,” Virgil hissed, still trying, and failing, to knock Logan out. Not that knocking him out would have stopped him anyways with the chips in their arms.

“So be it,” Logan sighed grabbing an encyclopedia from the desk and while Virgil was distracted, he swung with all his might, making sure to hit him in the temples.

Logan smiled a bit as Virgil crumpled to the ground and he checked for a pulse. Had to make sure he was dead first after all. First, he held his hand up to Virgil’s nose and mouth. No breathing. Good. Logan then checked for a pulse and smirked. Just one last check. He grabbed a penlight from his desk and shined it in Virgil’s eyes. No reaction from either pupil. Perfect he was dead in every way that mattered.

Upon hearing a sob from the doorway to the room, Logan remembered Virgil wasn’t the only one there besides him. He got up and Rachel flinched and stumbled back. “P-please I-I'll go b-back. I-i don’t w-want to d-die.”

Logan only smiled, leaning down to Rachel’s height and caressing her cheek. “Oh I know, you were just following your brother’s terrible decisions, weren’t you?”

Rachel nodded, possibly from fear, but to Logan that didn’t matter.

“Let’s take you back Rachel,” Logan said with a smile, trying to hide Virgil’s body from her. It didn’t matter that she had tried to leave as well., she needed time to process before seeing that.

Rachel nodded softly, letting Logan lead her back. Logan smiled a bit as she was brought back to the others.

“Rachel,” Patton asked, shooting up in worry, “Oh thank goodness you’re okay! Wait...where’s Virgil?”

That one question and Rachel broke down in a sob.

“Patton, you can make the next couple of meals,” Logan said, “I’m going to up late tonight with a project.”

Both Patton and Dee paled slightly upon hearing that. “Alright Lolo,” Patton said, moving to comfort Rachel.

And with that Logan set off to get to work. He needed to at least get the basic stuff down today before the body started rotting. He picked up Virgil’s body and brought it over to the same place he had worked on the twins’ bodies and quickly got to work. Once he had finished the basic work, gotten rid of everything he didn’t need, and preserved the skin so it wouldn’t dry out, Logan headed to the bed for the night.

It took about a month to finally finish, with breaks to get the stuff he needed to get done and to check on the rest of his collection. Once done, he moved it to the same place as the twins.

He figured Rachel would want to see what happened so he came to get her.

“Lolo please,” Patton said, knowing what Logan had planned, after all, he had shown the two of them after he finished with the twins, “No one deserves to see that.”

“Just consider this….a punishment for trying to escape.”

Patton nodded and turned to Rachel, who was hiding a bit behind Patton. It seemed like she was a little scared of him now. Not that he could blame her.

“Logan’s not going to hurt you, he’s just going to show you something. And we’ll be right here when you get back,” Patton told Rachel softly.

Rachel nodded, mutely getting up and following Logan.

Logan smiled a bit as he led her to the room. “I just thought you’d like to see what became of Virgil.”

Rachel glanced up at him in confusion as they arrived at the room and Logan gestured inside. He let Rachel walk inside first and waited until he heard her drop to the ground before following her in.

Rachel had dropped to her knees and was just staring up at the taxidermy of Virgil Logan had worked so hard on.

“You don’t have to worry about any of this as long as you don’t try to escape again,” Logan said, “And listen to what I say.”

Rachel nodded mutely.

Logan smiled and brought him back to the others.

Most people collected objects, but Logan collected people. So what if that made him different. It’s not like he was doing anything wrong as long as he kept them happy.

#bad things happen bingo #the collective #virgil sanders #logan sanders #mentioned creatitwins #unsympathetic logan #patton sanders #dee sanders #human au #rachel oc #sanders sides #kidnapping #taxidermy #taxidermy on a human #implied use of date rape drug #angst #all the angst #major character death #the collector

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dcwastelands · 5 years ago

Text

For Honor Event - Part 1 - July 13, 2019

Eevelion:

It had been about five minutes since everyone had been loaded into the transport van, jostling as it rolled across the bumpy untamed roads of the wastes while a handler gave a briefing on today's events, having prior only been explained as "Ghost neutralization".

"We're currently about ten minutes off from the Old Renaissance Fairgrounds where we are aware a Ghost has made it's lair, this ghost; Phantom Knight by our logs, or..." They'd take a close look at the log sheet they had brought with them "'Ser Gaius Grimsley von Datenshire III' by it's own proclamation, is on the more passive side, but it's actions inadvertently put the base and travelers at risk. As such it's been decided that it should be neutralized for people's safety. We're currently not recommending direct combat with the ghost, as we don't know it's full capabilities and we'd rather minimize chances of harm coming to anyone, instead we want to use this as an exercise in repenting a ghost through fulfilling it's last desires, since not many have done so. Judging by the ghost's behavior, we assume that engaging it in a 'tournament' has a high probability of fulfilling these desires, so it will be up to you all to put forth your best effort in defeating it in anything it challenges you to."

The driver in the front seat would call out for the handler's attention "About eight minutes now." gripping their papers the handler would turn back to those present "Y-yes, as he said, it's not far away, so if there's anything you need to know ask it now, and I'll try to answer your questions with what intel we have. Also," They'd produce a stack of papers from under their seat "Everyone should take a copy of the log sheet and give it a look as well." They'd hand the stack to whoever was behind them, ready to take any incoming questions.

Leona:

Gakuran, having begrudgingly come along, began to exam the paper work. While understanding the reasoning for not attacking, he'd be concerned with toying with a ghost. Though he had no questions, he was ready for the day to be over. He was here for observation and help, the quicker they did this the faster they'd get back home. "I'm fine with trying to repent the ghost by its means but what if it gets violent? Will we abort and take it down by other means?" Knowing that repenting a ghost could work well or fail about half the time. But he wouldn't be caught without some backup plan. "If so whats our backup?"

Eevelion:

The handler would scratch their chin a bit at the question "Well, if the ghost does go hostile, you are given permission to fight it, if we find it to be considerable risk we'll call you back and retreat back to Psi. We'll just have to play it by ear but we're really hoping it won't come to blows."

Sera:

Spanx reeled back a little as the words "you are given permission to fight it" hit her ears. "Gosh, I sure hope it doesn't come to that. I hope we can give a ghost a nice send-off for once."

Lief:

"I'd rather avoid that too," was the involuntary mutter from Haori. He wasn't one for fighting- or expending more effort on something than absolutely necessary. He still wasn't sure how he'd gotten roped into this, really. But it seemed to be in everyone's best interest, so who was he to complain?

Dezzy:

"If worst comes to worst, and there's an impasse it might be the only choice. But the proposition that there is a way to do so is much, much favorable for the deceased." While Chaqueta wasn't the battle oriented type, she could defend herself decent with humans at the very least. But she hoped it wouldn't be necessary given the group was tasked with a more peaceful repent to be executed. If her brains could be of any use to them, she had more than enough brain cells to spare.

Zaku:

Ah, cramped vehicle space. One of the few things Obi had forgotten about this past century. But here he was; a near seven foot colossus of an archangel sitting in a van surrounded by others. Almost brings him back. Keyword being almost. He simply nods as he looks over the rest of his compatriots. In a way, it was good to finally get some new scenery for him. Felt like ages since he stepped out.

Leona:

At least they were all on the same page. But something still lingered in his brain, a question. "What can we even expect from this? carnival games?" hoping for any easy excursion. Considering the venue, anything was possible.

Eevelion:

"Well, the ghost seems to fancy itself as a type of knight, if you've ever heard the term 'hastilude' that should give you a pretty good idea, they're contests knights would perform in the olden days as a sort of honor thing."

“Alright, if nobody has anymore questions we've just about arrived-” Suddenly the handler was interrupted by the car come to a brisk halt “The fairgrounds.” hopping out of the passenger side door he'd open the door for those in the back “Alright, everyone out, try not to hit your head on the roof Mr. Ravissepto.” Being ushered out, the passengers would be able to get a good look at the faire, weathered old tents being reclaimed by nature, a stone bridge over a small stream with a concrete castle just past, wild grass had been attempting to encroach the center of the faire, but seemed to have regularly been trampled away by footprints. There was currently no sign of the ghost, but enough evidence that something or other frequents this area.

Zaku:

Precaution taken, Mr. Van Driver, sir. However, that precaution would still serve no good as the minute the door opened, the taller angel of the group sat up to, the surprise of no one, slightly hit his head when trying to get up, He says not a word and waits for at least a few of his compatriots to leave the van first before attempting to sit up yet again. The last thing he needed was blocking other peoples way of exiting while he himself was trying to exit. #JustGiantThings, amirite?

Gigi:

Lolo seemed oddly present for once, turning around to listen to each voice intently; it wasn't often she showed up to these training exercises but considering combat wasn't the focus, she was given the option and took it. How nonchalant all the angels seemed about this was fascinating still. that's just how it was in the wastes! Nothing phased these people.....She hopped out eagerly, staying closer to the handler than letting herself roam free.

In the back, though...someone else didn't seem remotely as amused. One green eye was focused more on the ruins outside the van, taking in the lay of the land as the others went on. He'd been through a lot of these, no need to be too attentive; seeing the wreckage of poles, tents in the greenery it kind of brought an odd knot to his stomach. He'd tail behind the rest of the group, his attention still seemingly far beyond the rest of the group with unwarranted tension. (Really, it was a non-combat repentance, this was what he liked seeing as a human--)

Sera:

Spanx took a moment to stretch after stepping out of the vehicle. It seemed quiet for a place haunted by a ghost that was causing trouble for people. "I hope it doesn't take too long to find this guy. Anyone have any ideas on how we should lure him out?"

Eevelion:

Crown hopped out of the back of the van, taking in the sights and the smells of the faire. This. Was. Great! She'd always loved stories of knights. And now she was standing in a place where real knights did battle! At least that's what she got out of it, her listening comprehension might have gone a bit out the window when she heard the word 'knight'. But either way she was beaming and happy to be here.

Dezzy:

Chaqueta got a small chuckle out of Obi still hitting his head regardless of warning. Once she was out she took a quick lay of the land. She could only imagine how much fun this dinky little faire was many, many years ago. It never ceases to amaze her how quickly all of this transpired, even in the wake of a festival. Tragedy th as no mercy it seemed, but still, she couldnt help but give a sad sigh.

Lief:

Haori slumped out of the vehicle and blinked lazily as he took a gander at the surrounding area. There was still no telling what that knight-ghost would ask of them, really. Knight tournaments had various events, right? Maybe they would end up going through all of them before they were off the hook....great.

"Weirdly quiet," He mumbled

Zaku:

Alright was that everyone? That looked like everyone. Taking his turn to get out of the car, Obi took in the air and looked over the fairegrounds. Damn...it'd been a hot minute since the archangel had seen something like this. Places that were supposed to be filled with joyous occasion and enjoying the moment. All of that merriment...gone. He frowns slightly at the ruined grounds, but continues onward nonetheless. They had a job to do, and hopefully, a peaceful repent to pull off.

Leona:

Gakuran trailed behind, making sure to stick behind the group. He was uneasy about their task but was hopeful about succeeding. Though, the new faces made him wonder if they would work well together. He would followed behind Obi and commented to Haori "Quiet, but lets enjoy it while we can and take time to prepare".

Eevelion:

No sooner did Spanx ask how to find the quarry than from a distance came a hearty “HAHA!”, with a loud whinny and the beat of hooves approached a stout (aka, short, real manlet like) figure clad in heavy black armor on the back of an impressive ghostly stallion. Slowing to a trot in front of the party they would proclaim “HARK KNAVES, FOR THOU HAST ENTERED THE DOMAIN OF THOUST TRUELY, SER GAIUS GRIMSLY VON DATENSHIRE, THIRD OF HIS NAME. FOR WHAT PURPOSE DOST THOU TRESPASS UPON THESE GROUNDS, SPEAK QUICKLY, OR I SHALL HAVE THEE DRAWN AND QUARTERED!” The handler would bury their face in their hand before addressing the group “Alright, here's your quarry, try to calm them down, if it gets too hot we'll make the call, good luck, me and the driver will be watching from nearby.” With their piece said the two of them would walk off, staying within viewing distance.

Lief:

"Interesting," Haori said under his breath. "Uh, which of us is spokesperson, exactly?" This was a little louder, enough for everyone to hear.

Haori didn't see himself as capable enough to speak for the entire group....or smooth enough. How were knights supposed to talk? He couldn't get into a character on command.

Gigi:

Well, something was coming back to Braces, but he wasn't sure what it was exactly...none of this crew really seemed to get what was going on at a ren faire though. He crossed his arms, grimacing...he may actually have to intervene?

Zaku:

Oh woah, right to it, eh? Uh...alright, Obi will step in. Not too far, but a good half-step at best.

Sera:

Spanx replies to the knight meekly, "Apologies Sir Gaius, we, uh, didn't mean to trespass. We're here to, um, what was that word again? Halibut."

Zaku:

"Greetings, Sir." He speaks up alongside Spanx. "We are....travelers of sorts here to...seek why you reside on these grounds."

Gigi:

Braces pinched his nose. This was horrible. He wasn't sure how much of this he could take. He looked almost close to tears, even.

Dezzy:

For the event, Chaqueta wore simple dress and she gave a polite curtsy toward the knight as the others spoke.

Lief:

Haori tugged at his collar. The whole...whatever he was wearing...it was a little tight across the chest, and stuffy. Not like the loose clothes he normally wore. This whole thing felt like a stageplay, which- as far as he understood- wasn't far off from what a ren faire actually was. He remained carefully quiet, aware that any snarking could easily get them all in big trouble right now. Time and a place for everything.

Leona:

Gakuran followed suite with the group by acknowledging the knight with a nod. But he didn't feel the need to respond verbally. He instead would analyze the ghost size and environment to get an idea of what might happen. Gakuran would glance over at Brace and respond "Theres no need to cry, we'll be fine"

Eevelion:

The ghost would think about Spanx's comment before realizing what they meant “HA, WHAT A JEST, YOU MEAN THE HASTILUDES! THOU SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED EARLIER, IF THOU WISHES TO PARTICIPATE IN THE GAMES OF HONOUR THEN SO BE IT, WE SHALL MAKE A TOURNAMENT OF IT!” He'd rear his horse before trotting toward another section of the fairgrounds “COME, THE ARENAS ARE READY, AND BE SURE TO BRING THY STEED.” At this he'd point his lance towards their 'steed', the van they had arrived in, the keys still in the ignition.

Lief:

"Our- our what." Haori deadpanned. "Are we- does the van have a name? Does it need a- never mind." He sighed. He needed to learn to roll with the punches better.

Gigi:

Well, that went...well enough, despite the lack of decent acting. Braces raised a brow in disbelief though as his gaze panned from the van back to the ghost. He knew the not-yet-passed had some issues with denial, but .....it'd been a while since he really had to deal with it.

Dezzy:

As amusing as the ghost was, Chaqueta couldnt help but make a quick note of how the thing registered the van as a horse. "Seems like his perception of reality is different from ours, she whispered. We can use this to our advantage? I wonder to what extent it goes to. We could pass off makeshift props as the real thing if so."

Gigi:

"That'd be ideal, actually," Braces blinked, his volume matching Chaqueta's. "Angels shouldn't lose track of their own weapons, but that can save us from causing any unecessary harm. Nice catch."

Eevelion:

Crown was starstruck, a real life knight! And they even challenged them to knightly games, today was surely going to be amazing! She broke out of her trance momentarily when the knight headed off, jogging a bit to keep toe with them.

Leona:

Maybe the Knight was looking at the raw horsepower of the Van, but that was beside the point. However, it seemed like the rest of the group was already planning. Gakuran would then focus his attention on Chaqueta "That is a good point, I'll keep that in mind." Since it was a strategic advantage, Gakuran complied and headed toward the van. However being much taller than most people also had disadvantages. He'd struggle a bit till everyone else caught up to crown and relocate their steed. Good thing he didn't have his armor on, otherwise the knight my mistake this as a joust.

Zaku:

Obi nods along with the group and follows along with Crown.

Sera:

Spanx blushes a bit after realizing she misspoke. Halibut is a fish you idiot how could you mix that up she mutters to herself. She shuffles behind Obi as he follows Crown. The closest thing to a tree she could hide her shame behind.

Zaku:

Shhhh, your shame shall be resolved by the tree, young Spanx. All is forgiven, child.

Gigi:

Following the hunch suggested from Chaqueta, Braces made an ever so slight detour to dislodge a rod of what he assumed was some sort of metal since it was still intact. He was no lance user, but it'd come in handy and he had no idea how well old faire ruins would be stocked, anyway. who knew who raided these things for weapons even if they were props.

Lolo followed after, nearly sprinting to keep up; she was simply observing at this point since she was...probably too young to remember this phenomenon.

Eevelion:

Gaius led the group to what seemed like a long track, a pole stretched along the middle “AND SO WE COME TO OUR FIRST CHALLENGE, CHOOSE THY CHAMPION, FOR UPON THIS FIELD WE ENGAGE IN THE JOUST!” Having said his piece, he positioned himself at the far end of the track. Seems like, as Gakuran was afraid of, someone would have to duel him in a Joust, but another question remained, who would be the 'horse'?

(One person must participate as the Jouster, another must participate as a Driver)

Leona:

Unknowingly Gakuran signed up to be the steed by driving the Van. He'd show up at what looked like a parking space; without the knowledge that this was his starting point. Having been away from the group, he didn't catch what they were doing. So he'd sit in the van and observe. "I wonder whats going on out there, did I hear 'Joust' "

Dezzy:

"Eyepatch here," she said while point towards Braces. "Seems like he'd make a good jouster. He got the pole and the beef to handle it"

Sera:

"A joust sounds like a pretty intense first challenge. I might be able to stay on pretty well but I don't know about knocking him over. Maybe someone else should..." Spanx hoped she didn't sound like she was putting this off on others. She was trying not to let her nerves get the best of her but a real life ghost, even a small one, was still intimidating up close.

Lief:

"I weigh like as much as a cat," Haori provided flatly.

Gigi:

Braces looked over at Chaqueta with a sour face. "I got this just in case! .....Geez, I guess if someone had to though, I could....,"A hand paused on his chest before working at the pole, his suspenders not in their usual spot.

Eevelion:

Crown would stand on one foot as she gave Braces a little cheer “You can do this Mr. Braces! I know from experience that you're plenty strong!”

Gigi:

He gave a sigh. "Fine, you guys don't look like you've even so much as eaten a turkey leg with a fool jingling beside you anyway," He hopped up on the van's roof, giving a tap once he finally got up there. Sure was weird to do this on a car roof, but it wasn't like training or even finding mustangs was a good idea either. "Ready when everyone else is."

Dezzy:

"I have no idea what that means, but thank you anyway!" She said clapping her hands together and giving him a sarcastic smile.She took a couple steps back to where Crown was and would cheer for Braces and Gakuran from the sidelines.

Eevelion:

With his opponent in position, the ghost would loudly proclaim “MAY THE FIRST ROUND BEGIN! CHARGE!” Readying his lance he'd Charge towards the two, Gakuran would pull the car Forward, and Braces would Block atop it.

Despite Braces' preparing for the attack, the Ghost's lance manages to find purchase, hitting him and setting off his balance on the car, though he manages stop grounded.

Sera:

Spanx roars from the crowd, "Hang in there Braces!! You can do it!"

Zaku:

"Give it your all, you two!" Obi shouts alongside a swell.

Gigi:

That'd hit harder than Braces was anticipating; he tried to use the pole's shape to his advantage to grind the attack back but, that kind of backfired, the ghost being too strong and pushing him back.

Dezzy:

Chaqueta winced, she felt that. Still, she continued to clap for the angel.

Leona:

How did he get roped into this. Sadly it was too late to back down, so he braced himself for impact. Thankfully the vans weight helped disperse some of the brunt force. "You okay up there?"

Eevelion:

The commotion seemed to be drawing a bit of a crowd, fauna ghost starting to congregate around the arena, the ones present perking up at Gaius' strike against Braces.

Gigi:

"I think so? Dealt with worse. Whatever," He waved it off, though the other guy couldn't see him doing it. he rubbed his arm. Christ, that smarted.

Eevelion:

Circling around the arena, Gaius would CHARGE toward his opponent again, as Gakuran rounded the corner Braces would prepare to DEFEND, and as the two were about to meet... Gakuran stepped on the gas, BOOSTING towards the collision.

In the collision Braces defended valiantly, but the Ghost's strike was still too strong, breaking his guard and nearly tossing him off the van.

Gigi:

A "God FUCKING damnit!!" could be heard, ponytail flapping in the wind as he was doubled-over on the roof.

Leona:

Gakuran simply looked up and covered his face with the brim of his hat. "Good grief" maybe luck wasn't on their side today. "I'm guessing you are still ali- dead right?"

Gigi:

"Don't remind me," he covered his eye, groaning. too soon. "God I wanna end this man's whole career."

Eevelion:

As they circled again, Gaius ever so slightly shifted the lance is preparation to BLOCK Braces' incoming STRIKE, as the two get closer Gakuran once again BOOSTS.

As they collided, Braces' lance hit the ghost's, but not with enough force to break their guard, the magnitude of the collision rebounding to him and hurting his arm.

For one final time the two teams circled around the ring, the ghost preparing to strike, Braces, fatigued from the blows he had taken he was scarce able to take another hit and was knocked off into the mud.

Gigi:

Cue a very comedic roll off. he's gonna be fine, he's an angel, who cares. at least he didn't get stabbed in the eye again.

Dezzy:

Big oof. Maybe those muscles were just for show in the end. "Maybe one of us will do better in a different event."

Leona:

Gakuran having felt the rumble of a body, stopped and started to reverse. Once he reached Braces, he'd exit out of the back to help him into the Van and out of there. "Hey we did our time, you need a smoke?"

Lief:

"Brutal," Haori winced. He was glad it wasn't him up there. He'd have been catapulted in a single hit. If anything speed was his game, but he was less experienced than any angel in their group might be. He was beginning to wonder if He would even be any use here.

Eevelion:

The ghost would trot up to Braces' side with a chuckle “A VALIANT EFFORT, I APPLAUD YOUR BRAVERY FACING ME. DO NOT FRET YOUR FAILURE FOR LONG MY FRIEND, THE DAY IS YOUNG AND THE CHALLENGES WILL BE MANY.” Rearing the horse away he would lead the group towards their next trial, the interested wild ghosts following behind like a group of fans.

Gigi:

He waved a hand, grimacing. "god, no. I'll pass." He wasn't a smoker by any stretch of the imagination, and all he could think about is how much fucking mud he was getting all over the van. At least the ghost seemed a good sport about it all. He'd hate to be dealing with an angry one right now, all things considered.

Zaku:

Yikes. That look like it hurt.

Eevelion:

Gaius led the group to a fence, he would dismount before pointing to several targets in the distance “BEHOLD, FOR THIS WILL BE THY NEXT CHALLENGE, A SIMPLE ARCHERY CONTEST, CHOOSE THY CHAMPIONS MOST DEFT OF AIM.” He would pick up a bow and arrow near the fence, preparing himself for the contest.

(As many players as want can participate in this at once)

Gigi:

Braces groaned and grabbed his arm, watching this all unfold. At least archery had less risk to leave anyone in a state of dishevelment. "Don't look at me, guys."

Dezzy:

"I'll offer myself as tribute," wow what an archaic hunger games reference.

Sera:

"You can do it Chaqueta! Get us a win!"

Lief:

Haori bit back a snort at the poor joke, but rolled a shoulder to loosen himself up and stepped forward as well. He wasn't the best shot, but he wasn't bad either by any means. The more the merrier...or something. "You have my bow," he offered pulling one from- did he just...pick that off the ground?

Leona:

Having been battered around by the jousting, he declined "Someones gotta watch the Van, this guys only one good arm."

Eevelion:

“THEN THESE ONES SHALL BE MY OPPONENTS” boomed the ghost, wasting no time nocking the arrow and pointing it towards the middle target and letting it fly, watching as it embedded into the middle ring. “HA! A FINE SHOT TO START THE SHOW.” Meanwhile, a lizard like ghost had manned a scoreboard, changing a score meant to represent Gaius to 4.

Zaku:

"Kick his ass, Chaqueta!" A bit overenthusiastic there Obi, but the rally cry is definitely appreciated.

Lief:

Haori took a step forward, readying his bow first. If nothing else, he at least knew how to shoot archery. He might be a little rusty, but...he pulled into stance and made sure not to twist his elbow. His eyesight wasn't so good these days...still, the close target looked pretty clear. that ought to make for a decent shot. He lined it up and let fly- thwip went the arrow as it smacked into the bullseye mark.

"That's a pass," He sighed in relief. Not nearly so impressive as Gaius, but a good start.

Dezzy:

Chaqueta was feeling a bit bold, so she grabbed a spare rickety bow and arrow and launched the thing with as much confidence and vigor as a professional. She managed to hit the outer most ring, but missed the next time she fired.

Still, that was better than the critical failure she was expecting having never done something like this before so she was satisfied.

Eevelion:

As the Score Ghost changed Haori's score to 3 and Chaqueta's to 1, Gaius, feeling cocky after his last shot decided to be so bold as to fire on the farthest target, as he pulled back and released the arrow he was... a bit disappointed as it landed nowhere near the target, his entourage of ghosts seemingly disappointed as well.

Gigi:

Braces tried not to be too loud but he was definitely on the edge of his seat and pretty happy about all this before wincing and recoiling back to clutch his arm more.

Lief:

Haori was also feeling a little bolder. He nocked an arrow and let fly toward the middle target....the arrow fell short. He could practically hear the sad little wop wop wop noise as it clattered to the ground. "Welp," he muttered. He'd just have to put it all in for the last round, then.

Zaku:

A soft "Yes" along with a casual fist pump comes from Obi. He's a proud tree.

Eevelion:

Crown waved a ratty old flag she found to the side, cheering on her team's archers.

Dezzy:

Chaqueta kept her hands steady and breath held in until she released her arrow soaring through the distance and NAILING a bullseye on her target.

She jumped a little, surprising herself and was giddy as a horse, stomping her feet hooves in celebration.

Zaku:

Another fist pump. Fuck ye FUCK YE-

Ooop, don't get too excited there, Obi. Keep chill.

Eevelion:

The score ghost would reluctantly bump Chaqueta's score up to 4. Gaius meanwhile, deciding to be safer with his shot went only for the close target, firing an arrow and sticking it directly in the middle, 2 points. “AND SO I END THIS CONTEST WITH SIX POINTS, LET US SEE HOW YOU FARE, MY FOES.”

Gigi:

A soft "nice!" can be heard in the background.

Dezzy:

Chqueta waved off to the others, still proud of her second attempt before, recklessly aiming another arrow for a slightly more ambitious score. However, her arrogance would be her downfall as the arrow completely missed the target.

"Ah shoot." Now she felt embarrassed. She looked away from the others, too shy to see their, she assumed, disappointment.

Lief:

Haori aimed at the close target again. Two shots meant a better chance for points, right...? God, he hadn't done this in forever.

His fingers slipped as he loosed the first arrow- it came close but ended up sailing past the target without hitting it. The second....thunked into the ground several feet away.

"Ah, for shame. How ever will I face my people." He droned. He wasn't all that upset, he hadn't been expecting to win anyway.

Gigi:

Braces rubbed at his eyepatch, that was rough.

Eevelion:

The Score Ghost snickered a little as it saw it didn't have to change the scores. “ANOTHER VALIANT EFFORT MY FRIENDS, IT WOULD SEEM THE WINDS WERE NOT IN YOUR FAVOR, PERHAPS YOU SHALL FIND GLORY IN OUR FUTURE ENGAGEMENTS, NOW COME, WE HAVE COMPLETED HALF THE TRIALS.” Without another word he mounted his steed again and head toward a tent, beckoning the others to follow.

Leona:

"Looks like we werent the only ones with bad luck." Chimed Gakuran, with a beer in hand. "Though, you alright eyepatch?"

Lief:

Haori shuffled back in a slouched state, not particularly bothered. This ghost seemed really docile, honestly. Perhaps it had only been hassling travelers because it wanted people to do these events with. It was possible it would be satisfied just as long as they spent time with it so it could play. Kind of like a kid...

Then again, there was really no knowing for sure until the end.

Gigi:

"Aye, tis but a flesh wound," he replied to Gakuran, looking a little sour. "What's that ghost gonna do to me? Kill me again?"

Zaku:

Oh they're moving? Looks like they're moving. Obi follows.

Lief:

Haori stifled a laugh as he overheard the remark.

Leona:

"Probably but i think its having much more fun kicking our asses. " At least they were trying and didn't have to win. That made it a little less sour. "Kudos on giving it a warm up though"

Dezzy:

"Kinda wish the plague would come take me out I'll say," she joked. Even if she had failed she couldn't help but smile through it all. Genuinly it was pretty fun.

Lief:

"Hey, you kicked MY ass at least. You see that shot that fell short? Awful." He offered a crooked grin as he leaned against a fence post. "I thought I'd remember how to do this shit better, but I guess I'm getting old or something."

Zaku:

"Hey, you made some damn good shots though." Obi complimented her, giving the reporter a pat on the shoulder.

Gigi:

He was following the rest of the group, begrudgingly this time, really hoping there wasn't arm wrestling involved for the next stunt. "Thanks I guess, I just wish I could've done better, is all...," he groaned, scratching his hair with his uninjured arm.

Sera:

"Everyone did pretty good. Don't feel dismayed." Though having not contributed yet she has no right to judge anyone else's performance.

Eevelion:

As the party continued on to their next destination they would enter a tent and be greeted by a number of oaken barrels piled up in the back, radiating a strange menacing aura. “AND SO WE COME TO OUR THIRD CHALLENGE, A SIMPLE DRINKING GAME, WE WILL DO ROUNDS OF DRINKS, THE ONE WHO STANDS WHEN ALL OTHERS HAVE FALLEN SHALL BE PROCLAIMED THE VICTOR, PICK THY STRONGEST OF CONSTITUTION, ALL CHALLENGERS WELCOME! He'd plop down on a wooden bench, his armor creating a thunk despite his small stature.

Sera:

Spanx steps forward confidently, "I sat out the other two contests so it's at least my turn!"

Dezzy:

Despite her hubris, Chaqueta appricated the reassurances being given. Though soon as they entered the tent Chaqueta immediately lite up. BOOZE. ITS BEEN MONTHS SINCE SHE LAST HAD ALCHOHOL.

Zaku:

"...I'm with her." He's tall enough, might as well test some sort of body alcohol theory.

Gigi:

"You guys have at it."

Braces didn't seem eager to get involved in this one either, even if alcohol would help dull the pain.

Leona:

Having got a head start, Gakuran was game. He'd catch up to the crowd and join up. "At least this seems more fair"

Lief:

Haori waved his hand. "Not like I haven't been blackout drunk once or twice by this point in life anyway. Go big or go home," he smirked.

Eevelion:

The ghost entourage would bring up the first round of drinks “ALL RIGHT MY FRIENDS, I WISH YOU LUCK, AND BOTTOMS UP!” Raising the mug to his face he would chug the drink down, it evidently hit him pretty hard, already having him look pretty wet behind the ears.

Zaku:

Oh damn, ale. When the fuck was the last time Obi drank? It feels like a hot minute, but a challenge was a challenge. Taking the frothy mug, he follows suit with the ghost and chugs it down no sweat. Hmm. Ain't bad. He was waiting for it to be at least a bit off given the state of the world, but that's a solid mug right there. He slams it back down with ease.

Leona:

"This is the best thing to happen all day" Taking the round with nothing more than an easy gulp. "Not bad, give me another".

Dezzy:

Sweet alcoholism take her down. She pounded the drink down like a champ and knocked over her empty cup with gusto, "Fuck yeah, hit me again!"

Sera:

Spanx downs her drink. "This goes down surprisingly smooth for something that's been sitting abandoned for god knowns how long."

Lief:

Haori sniffed his drink. He had to be honest, his tolerance was fine, but something was just off about this stuff. And not in a rotten food kind of way. Well, no point chickening out now.

"Bottoms up," He mumbled, and tilted his head back to drain the mug.

...and then he continued tilting until he was on the floor. On his back. Groaning sickly. "Okay, I'm. Done." He choked- just before passing out. Something wrong indeed.

Eevelion:

As the entourage brought the second tray Gaius snatched a mug and downed it, as he came back down he slapped the table with raucous laughter “HAHAHA! SEEMS I'VE FORGOTTEN HOW TO HOLD MY DRINK, ANOTHER HIT LIKE THAT AND I DOUBT I'LL BE STANDING!” he would continue laughing and shaking the table as his opponents took their drinks.

Leona:

Spoke too soon, as this drink was one too many. This one combined with the other would be his undoing. After finishing, he'd gracefully lay down and let everyone else suffer instead.

Gigi:

Well, this wasn't looking good. Braces was grabbing his mouth in his hand, looking around. Hm.....

"Dude you shouldn't have had that beer before you went into the tent." he finally muttered as Gakuran went onto the ground.

Zaku:

Obi takes another hearty swig of that ale. The fizzyness is startin' to get to him just a teensy bit, but other than that, it's a damn good mug.

Leona:

Gakuran having drunk too much could only mutter back "Worth it" knowing that he was gonna fail anyway but free alcohol was free.

Dezzy:

Her hubris is rmtruely her down fall, for even with a side of bread Chaqueta was shitfaced. She didn't really care, hiwever, it seemed from his giggly she was.

"Heeheheheheh...." She slumped against Obi, unable to support herself. " oops a daisy I did a fucky wuckyyy... You smell good."

Zaku:

Anotha' one? Anotha one. And the alcoholic content is starting to get to him, but he's still got things under control. Hopefully.

Eevelion:

As the table started to clear, the bartender ghosts brough out 3 more drinks, Gaius grabbing his and chugging "HAHA, BARELY HIT ME, SEEMS IM GETTING MY SECOND WIND!"

Sera:

Spanx manages to finish her last drink and mumbles out an, "I'm sorry, that was just a little too much," and falls forward, snoring into her arm.

Zaku:

The sight of a shitfaced chaqueta though did earn a snicker from the archangel as he held onto her shoulder.

"You did the best you could, dear."

Eevelion:

One more tray, two drinks, Gaius took his mug and clinked it to Obi's "CHEERS MY FRIEND! THIS WILL BE THE DECIDING FACTOR!" Tilting it back he'd chug, then slump his head onto the table, he was done.

Gigi:

Casually, Someone was popping in and tampering with the ale. The ghosts didn't even seem to notice, nice.

Zaku:

Obi takes that third mug and drinks it whole, slamming the mug down after another good chug and looking back at his ghastly competitor, a glint of determination burning in the archangels eyes.

Gigi:

The culprit clenches his fist quietly, trying to remain unseen yet.

Dezzy:

"Woo woooo~" Chaqueta drunkenly cheered on. God was Obi always this sexy?

Eevelion:

And so, Obi stood alone among a pile of drunk nearly-to-fully passed out people, the sole victor. The attendant ghost's bringing out pitcher's of water to help bring people back to their feet, this would be a good time to give everyone a breather.

Sera:

Spanx wakes up, eats some of the bread and proceeds to talk, "Slo, diwd hwe hwin?"

Lief:

a splash of water got Haori back to his senses. He wasn't happy about being damp, but the glass offered to him for drinking helped clear up the dizziness surprisingly well. What was in that ale, he wondered. Normally he could knock back a good clip of shots of something nice and strong before he needed to quit.

"Spooky," he sighed, and stretched. Looked like everyone but Obi had seen the same fate. "At least we finally took one, I gather?"

Eevelion:

Crown would cheer Obi on “Congrats Obi! You got the first win of the day! Though I didn't realize drinking contests were really a knightly thing, maybe I should be taking notes.”

Zaku:

Alright, up you go, little lady. Obi picks up Chaqueta princess style, helping up Spanx along the way. And Haori as well.

Gigi:

"Its more a thing people do to flex on each other, but I figure it works for shows of manliness or whatever as well," Braces interjected as he stretched himself out--arm still hurt but it felt good to not be crouched down after a nice victory.

Zaku:

Oh and cheers from Crown as well? This day was already made.

Zaku:

"Honestly? Neither did I. Think it's some sort of valor thing. But I'll definitely count it as a victory."

A head ruffle for you, godkid.

#dcwastelands #dcwlogs #dcw angel event

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olivereliott · 4 years ago

Text

The Loop Routes That Don’t Show Up On The Map

Last Friday afternoon, I locked my bike to a sign next to the trail and tried to convince myself it wasn’t that hot—it was 82 degrees in Missoula, with a forecasted high of 91. A hundred feet behind me, most sane people with the afternoon off were spending it floating down the river in inner tubes, drinking cold beverages, their butts in the cool water, occasionally paddling a little with their hands but for the most part as relaxed as they’d be sitting in a La-Z-Boy. I could hear a handful of whoops and yells as I clipped my running vest and clicked through the menu on my watch.

The trail above me was in the shade, at least, but that was about all the encouragement I could give myself. I had never tried to run all the way to the top of Mt. Sentinel, 1800 feet of climbing in 2.9 miles. I was tired after a long work week, had run yesterday, and could think of at least 10 other reasons to not do it. But Hilary had run the whole thing a couple days earlier and she didn’t die or vomit at the top, so maybe I could, too. It was going to go one of two ways, so I might as well get it over with. I clicked the start button on my watch and started shuffling, reminding myself to take it as slowly as possible so I didn’t blow up.

I only saw three other people the whole way, and thankfully, they all stepped off to the side of the trail to let me pass, maybe thanks to the early warning of my wheezing as I chugged up the trail. I would like to think when I pass hikers on the trail, I look fit and graceful, but I’m sure when I’m out of earshot, they’re probably saying things to each other like “That guy looked like he was about to DIE,” “Trail running looks like it’s really awful,” and “Do you think we should call for a rescue?”

I constantly had to remind myself to keep looking at the ten feet of trail in front of me, not 100 feet ahead. There are few truly flat sections of the Smokejumper Trail, many steep spots, some less-steep sections, and overall, plenty of opportunities for someone of my speed to consider taking up golf instead of trail running. My quads burned with every uphill step, my heart rate stayed around 160 the entire time, and I talked myself out of this idea and back into it approximately 100 times.

I made it to the saddle without walking, leaving about a half mile and 300 feet of climbing to the summit, so I tried to take a big gulp of air in and keep a respectable stride going as I moved up the trail.

—

I knew almost nothing about mountains when I moved to Missoula from my home state of Iowa in 2002 to go to grad school for journalism. I just knew I wanted to learn how to write, in a way that could lead to a job, or at least making a living. Part way through my two years at the university, I figured out that I also liked standing on top of mountains. By the fall of my second year of school, I had become a little obsessed, picking through hiking guidebooks to find the hikes that led to summits. I managed to get up a few peaks, some with my friend Tim, including Idaho’s Borah Peak, Lolo Peak near Missoula, and Mt. Sentinel via the Smokejumper Trail—which, in 2004, was a pretty big hike for me, even if the mountain was literally the backyard of the campus of the University of Montana, its southern slopes dropping down a couple hundred feet from the journalism building where I attended classes.

In my second year of grad school, I had to do a thesis project, and I mentioned it to Tim one day. He joked, “What’s it on, peak bagging?” I laughed and said that might be a good idea. My best idea to that point had been something like “newspapers and the internet.” I talked to the department chair and switched my thesis project to three magazine feature-style articles on peak bagging. I found three stories that I hoped might someday be published in magazines: a group of folks called the Highpointers Club, who tried to summit as many of the state high points as possible, from Denali to Florida’s 320-foot Britton Hill; the Colorado Fourteeners Initiative, who worked to protect and preserve Colorado’s 14,000-foot peaks; and the County Highpointers, a group whose common interest was finding and summiting the high points of counties of the United States (of which there are 3,143). Summits made sense to me: a clear goal, a distinct turnaround point, you either made it to the top or you didn’t. When I looked through guidebooks, I skipped the loop hikes and looked for the ones that ended on peaks.

If you count the three members of my thesis committee and myself, I believe a total of five people have read my master’s thesis from 2004—one other grad student read it sometime around 2009, I think. I never got the articles published anywhere, but at that point, I was realizing I didn’t want to someday write for Rolling Stone anymore—I wanted to write for Outside and Backpacker.

My adventure writing career got a slow start: I got day jobs at small newspapers and tried to pitch and write magazine stories on the side. I got rejected by all the outdoor magazines you’ve heard of, but started to write for smaller ones, and eventually, seven years after getting my first rejection letters, I finally wrote a couple stories for some of the bigger national magazines.

An editor from a publishing company emailed me one day in 2014, asking if I’d like to write a brief how-to book about peak bagging. I’d get a small advance payment, and if it sold well, maybe make a few bucks over the next couple years. I thought hell, why not. Since Tim had suggested the idea of a peak bagging thesis 11 years earlier, I had gotten up a few more mountains, and enjoyed all of them.

I wrote the book, got the check, and it was published in 2015. By the end of the year, I received my first earnings statement from the publisher and it was pretty evident that the book had not made the New York Times Bestseller List. Not that I expected it to. I shrugged and figured I had at least paid off a little of my student loan from the University of Montana with some of the book money, and that was pretty OK. Since then, I’d started trail running a lot more, getting into ultramarathon distances, and in trying to plan long training runs, I ended up doing lots of loops—big ones that took all day, and small ones I’d repeat as necessary to hit a mileage goal. I had different motivations, and they didn’t always take me over the top of peaks anymore.

—

Above the saddle on Sentinel last week, I kept my legs moving, hating myself and my idea of “winding down after a long week at the office.” A slight haze hung over the valley, blown in from wildfires somewhere. Another reason you might think twice about running uphill at about your VO2 max for the better part of an hour.

With maybe 40 vertical feet to go, my legs were screaming and I was in more physical distress than I’d been in years, thinking, really, what’s the point of running to the summit? This much discomfort, for what? It’s not like someone was waiting for me at the top with a $25 gift card to Taco John’s. If I stopped and walked, there would be no difference, besides it being about 90 seconds later when I stood on the summit.

But you can’t quit 40 feet from the top. I kept my feet moving, considering the very real possibility of vomiting on the summit for a few seconds, before the ground beneath my feet flattened out and I was on top. I stopped, took a quick phone photo, turned around and decided to let myself walk down the next few hundred feet of trail, in lieu of rolling up into the fetal position and having a good cry. My shirt was soaked in sweat all the way down to the hem, my shorts were about half-soaked, and I thought, you know, is 52 ounces of water enough for the rest of this run? At the beginning of the day, I’d decided I wanted to do more than an out-and-back; I planned a route down the back side of the mountain, and around the north side, back to my bike, a big loop. I figured it would be somewhere between eight and 12 more miles, and I had about 40 ounces of water left (it’s hard to drink when you’re wheezing and running uphill).

Reader, it was not enough water, not even fucking close to enough water. I conserved it while getting blasted by the sun in the now-90-degree heat, then ran out about two miles from my bike. When I finally got to my bike, I would have paid $50 for a single ice cube to be dropped in my dusty mouth.

Instead, I got on and began to pedal, considering my options. The most direct route would take me by a grocery store, only about 100 feet off my ride home. I hit every goddamn son of a bitching red light on the way there and stood straddling my bike, watching the walk/don’t walk signal tick down the seconds as I baked in the sun. How am I still sweating?

The grocery store I picked was way busier than I had envisioned it would be when I was fantasizing about cold drinks for the past hour. I found a sports drink and walked to what I thought would be a fast-moving line, my face sweat sticking to the mask I’d put on before coming into the store. I held the bottle by the cap, hoping to avoid having my warm hand heat up the icy drink even a few degrees before I could drink it. I hoped no one in line could smell me.

The guy at the register was wearing a University of Montana hooded sweatshirt, with the hood up, a visual that blew my mind as I stood in the freezer aisle, the hottest and thirstiest I’d felt in at least a year. The line was not moving. I glanced around. A shelf with a small selection of books sat next to the Hot Pockets, almost all titles I’d never heard of. The sign above it read “Montana Grown.” Ah, local authors? No, local huckleberry jam and candy. And some books, not necessarily written by local authors. At the far right of the shelf, through my dried-out contact lenses, I saw an image that looked very familiar to something in my memory, my friend Nick hiking up a trail as we made our way up South Arapaho Peak in Colorado in 2009 or 2010. Oh wait, that is Nick. I took that photo. That’s the cover of that book I wrote. About peak bagging. Next to the Hot Pockets.

I paid for my sports drink, then drained the entire thing standing outside in the heat, next to the bike rack. I thought the idea of “peak bagging,” about how much time I’ve spent picking out summit routes to attempt, and how as I get older, maybe it’s not always the summits that are so interesting, but the ways things loop back on themselves.

Thanks for reading. These posts are able to continue thanks to the handful of wonderful people who back Semi-Rad on Patreon for as little as $1 a month. If you’d like to join them, click here for more info—you’ll also get access to the Patreon-only posts I write, as well as discounts to my shop and other free stuff.

—Brendan

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thejustinmarshall · 4 years ago

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The Loop Routes That Don’t Show Up On The Map

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—Brendan

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