#I find it hard to believe that a king dividing up the inheritance didn’t notice perses taking most of the wealth

[happypeachsludgeflower]

Hesiod’s Work and Days basically boiling down to “you piece of shit return my stuff or burn in hell”

it’s literally just long winded hate mail to his brother.

[enbylesbianism]

ANY WAY THE WIND BLOWS: Simon Snow trilogy wrapped! (review)

Hi, there! It took me a while to finish this post, as I could talk about it for... a long time (not necessarily a good thing), but I got it! I like praise, so if anyone wants to tell me I did a good job... Also, I might edit this post later on. I don’t remember anything else I’d like to add, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I did after posting. My brain does not obey me. Anyways, off to it! By the way, I won’t give this book a real rating.

While this is a review on Any Way the Wind Blows, I intend on analysing some points of the overall series too. The book starts where Wayward Son left off, the end of the road trip, Simon and Baz having problems in their relationship, Penelope helping Shepard with his curse... and the whole situation of the NowNext vampires. Rainbow Rowell only seems to remember the first part. That leaves us with the second book of the series ignored almost completely, with the exception of Simon and Baz’s feelings as well as Shepard’s existence.

Don’t get me wrong, aspects of the book are mentioned, but never in a truly important way. Lamb, the Vampire King, is mentioned by Simon, but only focusing on his and Baz’s relationship, never about the fact that there are a bunch of vampires (supposedly ‘evil’) in the U.S. but I guess what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right? I could count on one hand the times the NowNext vampires were mentioned (like, literally, this isn’t an exaggeration, I looked up ‘NowNext’ on the e-book and only got five results), all of them either being one of them considering telling someone else about it, then not following through with it, or dismissing it as a concern for Lamb. Which makes the plot of Wayward Son completely useless for the trilogy. Now, that wouldn’t matter as much if everything else had been properly developed, but we definitely can’t say that.

We are introduced to a brand new, poorly developed villain, Smith-Smith Richards, whose character arc is as ridiculous as his name. He’s one of the fake Chosen Ones that started appearing after the events of Carry On (and the only one to be mentioned and/or defeated, for that matter). It becomes clear that presenting as Simon Snow-ish is part of his brand, especially when Baz describes him as looking like the Netflix adaptation version of Simon, and that he was raised and guided by his uncle, who’s just... there. I don’t think it would’ve been hard to make him manipulating Smith-Smith into believing he’s the prophetic savior of the Magickal World, which would not only make both of their characters more interesting, but it could also serve as a parallel of Simon’s relationship with the Mage. Richards also has some special powers such as increasing a mage’s magic for a limited amount of time, but taking it away afterwards, as well as making someone immune from spells. It’s worth saying those aren’t skills that are usual in the Magickal World, or else there wouldn’t be so much confusion and shock from people (specially Baz and Penny, who would definitely have heard of something like this before), but we get no explanation on why or how Richard has them.

Then, we have the Salisbury’s. We, as readers, already know Lucy and Davy are Simon’s parents, making Ruth his grandmother. It’s noticeable that Rowell builds up to that discovery, by making Simon get along with Ruth instantly, him thinking about Lucy a lot etc. It makes us excited to read the part where they actually figure it out, to know how Simon would deal with that, him dealing with the fact that he’s the Mage’s son and the fact that, technically, he killed his father. I suppose that’s the point, but actually getting to that part was incredibly underwhelming. The way they discovered about Simon—being able to lift a family sword—hadn’t been mentioned or hinted at before. One would’ve expected Simon, who’s particularly interested in swords as it’s mentioned many times throughout the series, to notice a freaking Excalibur at the Salisbury’s place before. 

And speaking of noticing things: when it’s finally revealed that Simon is Lucy’s son and the Mage’s heir, Baz pointed out the uncanny similarities between his boyfriend and the deceased Watford principal. “Those narrow eyes. That tilt of his head. I thought... I thought he’d learned it. Was imitating it.” + “Merlin, Simon, you even look like him.”  (Any Way the Wind Blows, chapter 86) Simon was the Mage’s protégé for years and I assume the Magickal authorities knew that he was the one to inherit all of his money and personal belongings, but no one, in the whole British Magickal community, thought about them being related? I refuse to believe there were no conspiracy theorist teachers at Watford or that Mitali or even the Pitch’s alongside everyone who was against the Mage didn’t at least check to know if there was something behind those characteristics. Baz literally said (chapter 88), “I think it’s undeniable. I’d cast ‘Flesh and blood’ on them, but it would bounce right off of Snow (...)”, so there is a spell for that. Plus, we didn’t even have one whole chapter of Simon dealing with this information! The chapters (no more than five, out of ninety-one) were divided between Simon, Baz and Lady Ruth’s POVs. He’s the main character, so one would think he’d get more development.

Another point that felt rushed was the romance. While Simon and Baz’s relationship wasn’t, as it’s been a topic Rowell has explored for three books (we’re not counting Fangirl here, as their ‘participation’ on it was minor and their personalities weren’t as consistent as in the trilogy. Not that it is that consistent there), the others just felt like she wanted everyone to finish the trilogy with a pair. I’ll start with Shepard and Penny. There were fans who liked them together before Any Way the Wind Blows, but it wasn’t hinted at—it was more like a fandom thing. I personally like them as a couple, but it could have had development and, maybe, foreshadowing in Wayward Son. I mean, they did fight monsters during a huge part of a road trip together.

The next one I’ll talk about is Agatha and Niamh. I love them, don’t get me wrong. Actually, it’s precisely because I love them that I wish they’d gotten a better treatment. Niamh wasn’t introduced before Any Way the Wind Blows. I get why she wasn’t introduced in Carry On—it was interesting to see a character who wasn’t caught up in Simon and Baz’s drama during the school years—but a hint of her existence could’ve been left in Wayward Son. Agatha is an important character on it, and a mention of her father training an aspiring veterinary could’ve fit somewhere, as a hint, maybe. (Also, Lucy, the dog, being absolutely forgotten during this book when a lot of Agatha’s time is spent in a veterinary clinic...) Besides, we could get the vibes from them, but after they kissed, there was barely any content. We didn’t get them calling each other ‘girlfriend’ (or if they even like that label at this point), or the aftermath of the kiss, or a POV from Niamh. Or Niamh appearing the epilogue? If Agatha was taking care of the goats, I’m sure Niamh would have a part in that too. Still on Agatha’s character, but not on Niamh’s, it felt like Rainbow Rowell was setting up for aromantic and asexual Agatha, specially because of this quote: “It was like she'd pulled the feeling right out of my heart. I could have kissed her. (I still wish sometimes that I wanted to.) (That would feel like an answer to... the question of me. Then I could say, 'Oh, thats who I am. That's why I've been so confused.')” (Wayward Son, chapter 4).

And I was leaving the best (I need to be sure everyone knows I mean this sarcastically) of the romance topic for the end: Fiona and Nicodemus. It’s just... so forced and undeveloped. Not even because, to me, they’re both gay as hell. There was just... such a lack of development! I don’t think we had any interaction between the both of them before Any Way the Wind Blows. There was no foreshadowing or why would Fiona, a vampire hunter from a family of vampire hunters, would marry... a vampire! I’d already find it weird to see fanfiction of them as a crackship, but it’s canon?! Like, canon as in they’re going to get married and use Fiona and Natasha’s mother’s ring? Seriously, nothing will take from me that this is a lavender marriage (as I’ve already discussed with my best friend, which inspired this post of theirs.)

I’d also like to speak about a topic that’d been hinted throughout the series, especially post-Carry On, which is the criticism towards the Magickal Community in the U.K.. That criticism is very much embodied in Shepard’s character. It’s explicitly said that the British mages have some kind of supremacy towards other supernatural beings, such as vampires for example, gatekeeping literal magic. Up until relatively recently, mages with weak links with magic couldn’t attend Watford (and that’s a major plot point in the final book) and there’s a denial towards any other kind of magic except the ones that are part of their craft. Even within the Magickal community itself, there are more important families that are more likely to succeed, like Natasha receiving criticism for marrying Malcolm, as a Pitch. It felt pointless not to tackle the issues you’ve set up yourself in your own universe. Penelope has very strict morals related to magickal law and beliefs, something that she could’ve deconstructed, especially considering Shepard, her love interest, symbolises that. Another point related to that is, the trilogy is very clearly heavily inspired by Harry Potter, where many of those points are very clear (e.g. wizard supremacy in relation to other species, such as werewolves and domestic elves and the status quo that makes some traditionally magical families more influential than others, like the Malfoy’s vs. the Weasley’s), so it’s not an easily forgettable concept.

The series also had a lot of inconsistencies. The one I’ve seen talked about more often is Simon and Agatha’s... intimacy status, let’s call it that. Simon’s whole thing in the first book was that he struggled controlling his magic when experiencing intense emotions, which makes it hard to believe that he managed to have sex withount an... accident. Besides that, though, there’s this quote, “She (...) presses a kiss into my temple. No one has ever kissed me there. No one has ever kissed me anywhere but on my mouth” (Carry On, Chapter 27), but in Any Way the Wind Blows, when Simon’s about to have his wings cut, Agatha says, “It’s a strange feeling to look at someone’s chest and know it’s nothing to do with you anymore, but still to remember kissing every inch.” (Chapter 14)

So, we have established that Rainbow Rowell’s work, both character and plot driven, is flawed. “But we got the characters interacting for the closure of the series, at least!” Well... we got interactions between the canon romantic relationships, yeah. But besides that, we didn’t get much. There were no interactions between Agatha and Penny, or Shepard with Simon and Baz. Or Penny and her mother figuring stuff out. Or literally anyone with a therapist. And not gonna lie, the interaction we got between Baz and Dev was underwhelming, to say the least. Niall is nowhere to be seen, too.

Rainbow Rowell’s writing is beautiful: she writes poetic lines that make the book seem perfect at first glance, if you don’t think about it for too long. Her words are very shiny, but once you get use to that light and see what’s behind them, what’s between one shiny quote and another, it has so many flaws and plot holes that it reads like a first draft. There are many concepts in there that are genuinely good: the rest of the trilogy focused on the protagonist dealing with the trauma of being a child soldier instead of being entirely an adventure, Simon being unlabelled, a fake Chosen One that gives mages fake hope... Those are all good ideas, but so poorly explored that, despite being an entire book/trilogy, it still feels like a writing pitch or something among those lines.

I felt iffy about other things during my reading of the series, but they aren’t exactly plot points, so I’ll just list them below:

Mitali, Penny’s mom, including ‘discovering your bisexuality’ as a mid-life crisis thing 

As I’ve seen people talking about biphobia/bi erasure in the books, I’ll be including this post that features both unlabelled and bisexual individuals talking about the topic (it isn’t my place, as a lesbian, to talk about this, that’s why I decided not to do so.)

Romanticising of Baz’s suicide (a.k.a. chapter 61) in the first book. If you’re not in a good place mentally, like I was when I first read Carry On, I hope you know that a kiss or romance doesn’t help any mental illness you or others might have. Don’t let anyone use your guilt to manipulate you. Paraphrasing Alice Oseman in their graphic novel Heartstopper, love can’t cure a mental illness.

Any Way the Wind Blows was... very horny. I can’t point out how this makes the book bad exactly, but it wasn’t something I enjoyed. One of Rainbow Rowell’s strongest skills is that her quotes, when loose, are good. They tend to be poetic and just beautiful, overall. But in the... explicit scenes, these skills were barely used, and I felt like I was reading NSFW tweets off of someone’s private account on Twitter. Besides, the first two books of the series weren’t written like that, so the change was very sudden.

The older people could’ve been more explored. Penelope and Mitali’s relationship and how similar the both of them are compared to each other, Daphne and Professor Bunce’s insecurities and why they believed in Smith-Smith, Fiona, Nico, and Ebb... Also, the Mage and Lucy. We could’ve had more on them, y’know. 

The pop culture references. They made the book read even more like Twitter’s feed. Honestly, if I wanted to read prompts and nice ship content alongside memes from Twitter with some horny thoughts sprinkled all around, I would’ve opened the Twitter app. Or Tumblr, Instagram, whatever.

The POV switching felt lazy to me at times. It’s nice to know how different characters are experiencing that situation, yes, but sometimes, like during the discovery that Simon is a Salisbury, it read as if Rowell wanted to create tension, but couldn’t think of any other way to do it except the switching around.

Narrative wise, I think Simon and Baz should’ve spent more time broken up. 

[lisinfleur]

Fallen

Author’s Notes | It gave me some work to think about this plot (around 3 days of work). However, I think I’m proud of this one. Hope you like it, dear requester! Universe | Vikings Pairing | Sigurd x OC, Fallen Angel Samiel Info | Viking Age AU, Fixing Plot AU, Fantasy AU, requested by anon for 5CW6 Words | 2861 ⁑ Warnings: Religious conflict, mentions of Christianism x Heathenry battles. Caution is recommended: keep in mind this is a fiction and not a reflection of the personal opinions of the author or any kind of debate on religious paths or concepts of right and wrong. Keep respect.

"What in the nine realms is this thing?"

It didn't take too long until one of his brothers discovered his secret. A few weeks until one of them found out where was Sigurd going when nobody could find him.

Thank's the gods it was Ubbe who was now standing in front of the small room Sigurd had turned her cell into, stealing blankets and pillows and every sort of stuff from the castle ruins to make her life a little more comfortable hidden in that place.

"Sigurd!"

"For all the gods in Asgard, shut your mouth!" Sigurd said, getting up as she softly shrank around herself over the improvised bed he had done for her with furs.

"What the fuck is she?" Ubbe asked, lowering his voice. "Are these... wings?"

"And one of them is still broken, so for the love of Odin, don't cause any alarm. She's harmless," Sigurd insisted, holding his shocked brother by placing his hands over Ubbe's shoulder and chest as the older one was still looking at the girl...

Creature...

His blue eyes fully open in pure surprise.

"What do you mean by... Sigurd, what is she??" Ubbe insisted, looking at his little brother.

"She claims to be an angel. Those winged creatures the Christians say come from Heaven and watch over the men. Her name is Samiel. She says she shouldn't be here, but she was accused of committing a crime... A sin," Sigurd explained. "For some reason... This woman saved my life, Ubbe."

If Ubbe was shocked before, now, he was even more.

"What? Sigurd, what the fuck are you talking about?"

Sigurd sighed.

"When Ivar threw his ax towards me in that table... It was supposed to hit its target, brother. It would hit me in the heart and that was why our little brother was so surprised when he missed the point so grotesquely. That ax wasn't going towards my chair. It would split my heart in two!" he said, causing Ubbe to frown even more. "Samiel knew all the details of our conversations that day... She said... She told me she was the one who pushed the ax out of its track. She saved my life and she refuses to tell me why, but this reason is the reason why she was banished from what they call Heaven and thrown down to Midgard. In her fall, she broke her wing and Aelle's men found her wounded. She says the king thought she couldn't be anything but a demon - cause according to his words, angels don't fall without reasons.  - and she was locked down here to wait for his decisions about her fate... But we killed him before he could decide and I found her dying in this place, alone and cold."

There weren't spaces for more wrinkles in Ubbe's forehead.

"And you took her words like this? Just because she said... Sigurd, this story is terribly bad told and..."

"I know who you are..." Samiel's voice sounded cutting Ubbe's angry speech and catching their attention. "Ubbe, son of Ragnar, second of your kind, the first fruit of Aslaug's womb, and the consequence of her sins," she said, looking at him.

Ubbe turned himself towards her, interested but annoyed by the way she was identifying him.

Yet, Samiel continued. Her amber eyes strangely glowing in gold towards him... Inhuman...

"The Lord knows your heart and so do I. You're the one who inherited the heart of your father and the spirit of his dreams still lives into the flames of your will. You're the one who wants no harm; the one who spares lives and save souls. I saw what you did for that num at the church. She was doomed by her own fear and your hands saved her soul from the flames. You're a good man... I was sent to watch for you."

Sigurd looked at Samiel with surprise in his eyes.

"She didn't tell me that," he said. And both of them came closer.

Sigurd sat beside her, at the bed, as Ubbe took a bench near the bars to sit in front of her. She couldn't be lying: none of his brothers were close to him when they attacked York and Sigurd wasn't at that battle because he was caring for the new settlement they were establishing there, on Aelle's lands... There was no way for her to know about that situation in such details.

Unless she was able to see.

"Explain yourself," Ubbe said, kinda harsh.

"There are no lies in my words," she said looking at him, now allowing Ubbe to notice her eyes were really inhumanly golden. "I came for I was designed to care and watch over the second son of Ragnar Lothbrok, the one among his sons that had doubts in his heart. The Lord saw in him a chance that he could leave his heathen path, walk towards the light of our Lord. And then, I was sent to care for his soul and keep him protected. To even operate miracles in order to have his faith. However, I committed a mistake. And now, I'm here." she explained.

Her eyes now looking at the ground.

"You saved my brother's life. And it was a mistake," Ubbe named the words, trying to place things in a way that would push his little brother away from that creature.

But she cringed at the sound of those words.

"No! No way of saving Sigurd's life would be a mistake. I could even show myself and make you believe the Lord wanted me to save your brother for your faith. As I said, I was allowed to operate miracles and have that ax out of its track was nothing but one. But my reasons were wrong... My mission failed. I don't see how it can be a sin, but... I was undressed of my grace and banished from paradise."

"Speak everything!" Ubbe insisted, annoyed with her conversation.

To believe her was to believe the Christian God somehow was real... And worse! That more than one story was real. That more than one belief was real. That Athelstan was right and the two pantheons could exist while his father was wrong and the gods weren't inventions of men after all.

Too much information, and yet, too few.

She was telling almost everything. But a single detail was making everything into pieces that couldn't be glued together.

"I... I..." Samiel's face became red.

Her cheeks burning, her heart racing. Even the feathers of her wings were strangely bristled and slightly elevated from their resting position.

"May I speak to your heart and to your heart alone, Ubbe?" she asked causing Ubbe to frown completely. "I'm your guardian angel, despite having failed and fallen, I'm still connected to you and I can still speak to your heart. May I? Please?"

Ubbe was completely confused. How come she could trust him more than the one who was caring for her? Sigurd was also confused. What was this that Samiel wanted so hard to keep hidden from him?

"What do you mean? How do you do this?" Ubbe asked; his curiosity speaking loud in his blue eyes. "What do I have to do?"

"Just close your eyes... And listen," Samiel mumbled, becoming silent.

Ubbe took a moment to really understand or feel anything coming from her, but as soon as he could hear her, his eyes enlarged, in surprise. And her eyes started shining fully golden, looking straight into his.

Like a dream, his memories, or some kind of revelation, Ubbe started seeing in his mind scenes that were, surely, events from her life.

He saw her, flying over the battlefield after him. He saw the many times she blew near his ear quite before he was able to notice an enemy coming at the battlefield. He saw the way she guided him towards the camp, sometimes opening her wings to stop or force arrows away from his body.

However, through the whole time, her eyes were always landing over his little brother.

Samiel was there to protect him - and she did her job, undoubtedly. But her eyes weren't watching only for him and she wasn't sitting beside him when Sigurd was singing for the men's celebrations or messing alone with his oud during the camps. Despite she was closer to his tent, her eyes were also watching for Sigurd's tent all the time and many times he saw she divided herself to blow the arrows away from him as well.

Ubbe saw the despair in her eyes when the figure of Odin in his dark cloak came closer to his brother at that table. What was his surprise when Ubbe realized Odin himself had come to collect his brother's soul. But there was her hand, shoving away the ax from its track, causing Odin to laugh at her and leave with Muninn and Huginn flying around her head before following their master.

And then, those creatures came in flashes of light - two of them, like her.

They dragged her.

They forced her to her knees.

She committed a crime. Ubbe felt his heart clench into his chest when her tunic was torn and the ring of light she used to have on her head was removed and crushed in front of her eyes.

He could hear them speaking.

He could hear the sin for what she was thrown into this world, still connected to him, still feeling his actions, still knowing her mission.

When those scenes were over, Ubbe knew everything and his eyes landed over his surprised and curious little brother who couldn't understand a single thing of what was happening in front of his eyes.

Samiel was crying. Tears were rolling down her face silently.

"I couldn't tell him..." She mumbled.

She didn't want Sigurd to think it was his fault, Ubbe knew.

"But I couldn't understand why was it a sin," She kept muttering. "It was so pure... So innocent..."

"What happened? Ubbe what did she showed you?" Sigurd asked. "Don't you trust me, Samiel? What is it that I can't know?"

"She fell in love with you, Sigurd," Ubbe mumbled low, shocking his brother completely.

Samiel's eyes went to the ground, ashamed.

"She was stripped of her light and what they seem to call grace... Because she fell in love with you. And it seems to be a crime..."

The girl cringed, embracing herself.

"You weren't supposed to speak this loud..."

"I know you didn't want him to know. I know you didn't want him to feel guilty. But believe me... Sigurd deserves to know the truth. Especially this truth..."

Sigurd was stunned. His eyes were looking at Samiel, completely shocked. That woman... That beautiful angel that saved his life had fallen for loving him?

Him, above all the others?

"Take care of her, brother. She's the treasure you prayed for," Ubbe mumbled, looking at Sigurd. "I could feel her heart... And that's nothing purest than what she feels for you."

His blues went back towards Samiel.

"Your Lord was wrong. There is no way for me to dedicate my faith and my loyalty to a God that punishes love," he said, looking into her eyes. "But I assure you, by our side, you won't miss his light."

She knew what he was talking about: to turn herself to the pagan gods that had embraced his people and smiled at her attempt to save Sigurd from the hands of his death.

"Is this... true?" the boy finally spoke, coming closer and looking at her. "Samiel..."

"Yes," She mumbled, lowering her head. "This is true. I fell because I love you. I fell because my love is, somehow, unacceptable."

Sigurd's hand touched her face, in a soft caress.

"I accept it," he said, low. "I... I want it." his eyes into hers, gentle, almost passionate. "Stay with me, Samiel."

His touches were everything she wanted. His eyes had the sweetness of a feeling she thought was innocent from the beginning.

However, she also knew the worst sin rested on his lips, so close to hers now.

"I want you," he mumbled.

And she had few seconds to decide.

The ones she dedicated her existence to didn't want her among them anymore. She would completely give up on her grace and turn her back completely to the creator or live on the sidelines until the end of times...

But what was the meaning of life until the end of times if his life would fade slowly into inexistence?

What was the meaning of remaining among the ones who didn't want her if she had a chance his gods could accept her, embrace her...

Warrant a place by his side after the end?

Her hands touched his face and her lips softly brushed his. Sigurd leaned the rest of the distance, catching her sweet untouched lips into a passionate and slow kiss as Ubbe watched, stupefied, the feathers of her wings changing colors slowly.

If she wasn't fallen before, now she was completely engulfed by the sin of her forbidden love and the white of her wings was no more. Feather by feather, Ubbe saw her wings turning into the darkest ebony until no sign of light could be seen on her.

When the kiss was over, Sigurd saw surprised Samiel's eyes weren't golden anymore... Instead, they opened in a dark burgundy, almost bloody red. And she sobbed, lowering her head.

"I can't feel it anymore..." she muttered. "It's gone... It's completely gone."

Sigurd pulled her softly into his embrace, holding the now truly fallen angel's sobs. Painful sobs that touched both brothers' hearts into that cell, but reached more than just them both.

"So, you finally understood..." The thunderous voice caught Samiel's attention and she lifted her face from Sigurd's shoulders to face the figure at the door of the cell: that man...

That same man Ubbe could recognize as Lord Odin. The man he saw looking at him with his one and only eye when his father died. The man he saw behind Sigurd on Samiel's memories, when death was about to engulf his little brother whole.

Sigurd also recognized that man - the same man who touched his face and mutely told him his father was dead.

"Lord Odin..." The bardic man muttered, stepping aside when the deity stood in front of the fallen girl, lowering himself to look her in the eyes.

"They belong to me... Their hearts are grown embraced by Yggdrasil's roots. Your... Lord... He may covet them. Yet, their veins are full with my blood, they're my lineage... And they'll come to my halls when the time has come."

Ubbe and Sigurd exchanged glares, surprised. So, they were really descendants of the god... It wasn't a myth after all!

Odin touched Samiel's chin, lifting her eyes towards him.

"I don't leave my children... As long as they know where their loyalty is. Now tell me, child... Where is yours?"

She lifted her eyes towards the god and for a second, she lost herself into the eyeless hole in his face. Odin smiled, bringing her face close and blowing into her mouth, causing the girl to breathe deeply from his breath.

At the same moment, her wings opened completely, fully healed, breaking the amphora of water Sigurd had brought and placed near her bed. She sighed, gasping with the breath and Odin giggled when the sound of thunder preceded her eyes glowing as if they were struck by a lightning bolt, locking its energy into the globes now fully blue. The black wings started to get stains until they were mixed in gray, black, and white, with tones of the purple skies of the heaviest storms.

Odin looked at Sigurd, his lips curled in a smile.

"Consider it a gift for allowing me to send a message to the One Above, as he calls himself," the god said, surely referring to the Christian God, his rival in that dispute for Ragnar's bloodline hearts. "He may have won Athelstan's battle, but the whole war is too much for him. Ragnar's bloodline belongs to me. And I suppose he'll now understand."

His eye looked at Samiel one more time.

"You were fallen, child. We, the Old Gods... We lift the fallen ones into glory once again. Do not forget this." he said before the brothers could hear cawing crows outside of the few windows.

Before their bare eyes, the figure of the god simply vanished, leaving only the sound of the crows as a mark of his presence.

Sigurd turned himself to Samiel as Ubbe was still too shocked to really react.

"What just happened... Are you..."

"Alive... Awake... And free," she answered, caressing his face softly.

The One Above could have abandoned her for her sins... But there was still a place in the universe she could call hers. And if once the light was around her, now Samiel could feel it into her veins.

If the grace didn't want her anymore, then she would follow the storms.

And fly with the crows wherever her snake-eyed prince decided to go.

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[kpopchyeah]

A College Project

https://kpopchyeah.tumblr.com/post/185312915389/a-fairys-songPairing: Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Vampire!AU, College!AU, Fluff

Word Count: 1417 Words

A/N: Inspired by VT Cosmetic X BTS advertisement

36.  “did you even sleep last night?” “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

14. “okay, maybe i’m crazy but did i just hear you say that out loud?”

Part of my VT x BTS Series. Yoongi / Namjoon 

Being grouped together with your best friend for a project, you find yourself in for a bigger surprise.

The moment you walked into the classroom, you head naturally to where a blonde man greets you with a grin. He pulls the chair out for you, giving you a bow as you chuckle and thank him. Placing his arm on the back of your chair casually, he rocks the chair back and forth, humming a tune.

“Hey Tae, I saw you still being up at 4am playing video games.” Taehyung nods, a proud grin as he talks about his latest achievement in the game. You take out your notes, nudging him to do the same.

“Did you even sleep last night?”

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

You roll your eyes at his response, knowing his competitiveness. Class starts before you can talk more, everyone groaning at the mention of a project. The partners are decided by seats, and Taehyung visibly brightens at the realization you’re his partner. He high fives you happily, cheering while you shrug, wondering how he’s like a partner. The two of you don’t share the same classes except for this, so you look forward to it. You’re supposed to research the changes in technology, with photographs and videos if possible.

“Don’t worry, you can count on me!” He is extremely confident, sending you a wink that makes your heart flutter.

The two of you decides to meet up later after school ends, where he will pick you up. You were waiting by the school gates when a flashy red sports car stops in front of you, the man with blonde hair pushing his shades up to wave enthusiastically at you.

“Let’s go!”

You remember your classmates discussing how no one has been to his house before, and turn to ask him about it.

“Am I the first person to visit your house?”

He nods, biting his lip in a rare case of nervousness as he talks over the roar of the engine.

“Yeah, you should feel honored.”

What he didn’t tell you is that he has been dodging those who want to visit, and you’re the only person he trusts enough to show you everything about him.

You find your mouth opening in shock as he parks his car in front of a mansion, complete with a rose garden and swing set.

“Wow. I know you are rich, but I didn’t expect you to be THIS rich.”

He shrugs nonchalantly, parking the car and fitting the key into the slot.

“It’s just family inheritance. Come on, let’s go in.” He opens the door “After you.”

The curtains are drawn shut, giving the house an eerie feel. The only light is from the red candles placed around the dressers. After a tour of the house, you noticed that the only room that stood out was the gaming room. The latest gadgets littered the room, with a Black L-Shaped sofa taking up one side of the wall. The rest of the rooms are furnished with vintage objects, with red candles in all of them. The scent of blackcurrant follows you wherever you go as a result, a scent that you have associated Taehyung with ever since your first meeting.

As you place your bag on the ground and take out your laptop, he groans, slumping head first into the table. “Let’s go to my room, it's stuffy.” You follow him as he climbs the grand staircase, holding onto your hand when you stumble. His room has a large leopard print king sized bed, with the ever-present red candles on the dressers. As you turn on the lamp, he lights the candles one by one while you joke about how it’s getting a little too romantic.

Making yourself comfortable on the carpet, you feel him shift to lie stomach first on the floor. After dividing the workload, the two of you set to work. The only sound heard is the tapping of your keyboard and Taehyung scribbling on his notebook. At the corner of your eyes, you saw him biting his pencil in concentration, gasping when you caught sight of fangs, When you turn your full attention to him he raises an eyebrow questioningly, noticing how you’re staring at his mouth. ‘If you want to kiss me, you can just tell me.” He goes back to his work when you don’t respond, pausing and sighing when you mumble something about fangs.

“I’m a vampire.” He says it like it’s the most normal thing in the world, a hand supporting his cheek as he smiles cutely at you, fangs on display. You blink, is it the candles that are making you hear and see hallucinations?

“Okay, maybe I’m crazy but did i just hear you say that out loud?”

He rolls his eyes and flicks your forehead, pouting at your reaction. “I expect a better reaction. All those movies ruined it for you youngsters.” He complains as you reach a hand out, wanting to touch the fangs to make sure it’s real.

“It’s not a prank right?”

Taehyung shakes his head and takes your hand, guiding your finger along one of his fangs. You struggle to free yourself of his grasp, feeling the moment too intimate to bear and accidentally prick your finger. He lets out a curse, voice velvety soft as he coaxes you to stay still. Eyes holding you in place, he places the finger into his lips and sucks on it, the action too sensual for you to handle as you squeak and close your eyes.

There was silence for a few moments before you feel yourself shaking. Opening your eyes in confusion, you find that Taehyung is still holding your hand, and he’s trying to hide his laughter.

Your glare makes him laugh out loud, letting go of your hand to clutch his stomach. As he calms down, he quirks a brow with a playful smirk.

“So, do you believe me now?” at your nod he sighs in relief, rambling on about how he’s afraid you might run away and how he has been thinking how to tell you. You stroke his back, watching the way he visibly relaxes and leans his weight on you. “You’re the last person I expect to be a vampire.” Taehyung pretends to be offended, placing a hand on his chest. “Am I not attractive enough?” you stare at him until he squirms, smiling softly with the reply that he is way too attractive.

A remote appears out of nowhere and he clicks on it, grinning at your surprise when the bed rotates and there’s a coffin with roses lining the edges of it.

“Do you want to try sleeping in it? It’s quite comfy actually.” Before you can protest, he carries you by the waist and climbs into the coffin, chest pressing against your back as he adjusts himself. You pray he can’t hear your heart thudding in your chest. If he can, he’s doing a good job acting like he didn’t. To distract yourself from the close proximity, you focus on the patterns of the coffin, wondering just how long he's going to hold you like this.

“Are you trying to make me a vampire too?” He sits up with you, turning you to face him. “Of course not! I just want my best friend to see the cool side of vampires.”

He rotates the coffin again, getting back to work as he shows you all the photos and videos that can be used. He drags you from room to room, going on about all the different gadgets of each era with a faraway look in his eyes. You hug him slowly, thinking about how lonely he must be all these years.

“I’m happy you trust me enough to tell me everything. It must be hard keeping it from everyone.” There was a flicker of sadness in his eyes, one that was gone before you can ask him about it. “I have you now, don’t I?” he leans his head on your shoulder, taking in your scent as you stroke his hair gently. The two of you stay like this until his stomach growls loudly. You fake a gasp and back away from him, holding onto his hands to show you don’t mean it.

“Are you going to drink my blood now?”

He makes a face, tapping his chin in thought as he stays where he is.

“Nope, I bet your blood doesn’t taste that good.”

You hit his chest as he chuckles, going to the kitchen.

“Come on, lets order pizza.”

[stevejehovahbible]

Genesis 15

1 After these things the word of the Lord came unto Abram in a vision, saying, Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward. God gives Abram mad props for his pious display in front of the magic priest king man Melchizedek, and tells him not to worry about giving up all the plunder, because He totally has Abram’s back. It doesn’t explain why he would be worried in the first place, because he was a rich man at the BEGINNING of the story. Let’s just shrug off that obvious logical blunder and plod on. I sense the rest of this story is going to be a cornucopia of nonsense, so we’ll have a lot to get through.

2  And Abram said, Lord God, what wilt thou give me, seeing I go childless, and the steward of my house is this Eliezer of Damascus? 3  And Abram said, Behold, to me thou hast given no seed: and, lo, one born in my house is mine heir. He can't believe he’s going to have to leave all his vast wealth to a man from Damascus, instead of his own children. Because people that aren’t from this special bloodline are less than people. But that’s not disturbing at all because God God Jesus God Reasons Magic God ShutUpWithYourLogicYouHeretic!!! Notice that Abram isn’t happy with God’s repeated assertions that have no backing evidence. He is an old man, and God has promised to make him the father of a master race (which totally is different from that Hitler idea that is exactly the same in every way because God said it was ok), but he has no children. Abram wants more than empty words, which we’ll soon find out is a BAD thing? Asking for proof leads to trouble. Bible lessons 101. 4  And, behold, the word of the Lord came unto him, saying, This shall not be thine heir; but he that shall come forth out of thine own bowels shall be thine heir. 100% literal translation: “You won’t have to leave your money to that commoner, who is obviously beneath you and doesn’t deserve any of your wealth! You’re going to crap out a butt baby from your intestines.” It’s actually saying that it will be his own son that he loves, as the seat of emotions in those days was the bowels. It’s like saying “your ACTUAL son, that you love with all your heart, will be your heir.” But for strict biblical literalists... well... I guess they think God is going to bring one of Abram’s turds to life.  5  And he brought him forth abroad, and said, Look now toward heaven, and tell the stars, if thou be able to number them: and he said unto him, So shall thy seed be. This song and dance again? Look at the stars Simba! The great master race of the future looks down on us from those stars. So whenever you feel alone, just remember that those kings will always be there to guide you, and so will I. Now go kill that guy for picking up a stick on Saturday. I have spoken. 6  And he believed in the Lord; and he counted it to him for righteousness. Belief is not a moral action. This is yet ANOTHER example of the bible attempting to validate itself in an illogical way, to instill fear into those reading it. If belief is righteousness, than disbelief is wickedness. It attempts to make the simple act of doubting a “sin.” When this nonsense is taught to children, it subtly programs their brains to accept that trust in God is automatically good, and questioning God is automatically bad. Now where have I heard that before? *cough* mind pattern programing *cough* cult psycology *cough* it’s exactly the was dictators and despots keep their subjects in line *cough cough* never question the great leader *cough*... Sorry... scratchy throat. Now where HAVE I heard that before? Nevermind. So, there’s another issue I’d like to bring up here that is a MAJOR problem in religion. The recycling of bad arguments. The apostle Paul cites this verse multiple times (Romans 4, verses 3, 9, and 22, Galatians 3:6, James 2:23) as EVIDENCE of justification by faith. The assertion is made, unchallenged, and therefore accepted as viable evidence of reality. Simply because Moses wrote that God said “Faith = Awesome” does not make that a reality. Citing that as hard evidence to a further claim you’re attempting to make is automatically fallacious reasoning.

“Say, Bob, did you know that cats can fly?” “Really Jim? How? I’ve never seen a flying cat Jim.” “That’s really not important Bob. Just trust me. Cats can fly.” “Well, I guess I’ll just chose to believe you Jim.” “Excellent choice Bob. Because belief is clearly a choice.” *Months later, Jim throws a cat over a roof with a cat-apult (*snicker*) and tells Bob that his beliefs have been vindicated! Just look at the evidence! Decades later, a scientist uses Jim’s belief in flighted cats, and Bob’s support of that belief to write a law saying all cat owners must get their cat’s wings clipped, or they’ll be shot for international super-treason or something. Cats don’t have wings, so all cat owners are killed. Dogs everywhere high five and sip their tennis ball flavored martinis. In a surprise MNightShamalablahmanon twist ending, Jim was really a dog in an elaborate disguise all along!

7  And he said unto him, I am the Lord that brought thee out of Ur of the Chaldees, to give thee this land to inherit it. In case you forgot, let me remind you again. Apparently people in bible times all had severe short term memory loss and needed to be told the same things over and over. “Hey, remember this land I gave you twice already...? Guess what? I brought you here to give it to you. Neat, huh?” Ownership of THIS land is super-duper important for some reason. You’d think God would tell Abram that owning land isn’t really something he should strive for, as it is ultimately materialistic and not a very high minded obsession to have. But He never does.  Instead, He continues to tell Abram that he’s God’s favorite, and that Abram’s kids will totally OWN this patch of earth just because God said so. Abram is the father of the Prosperity Gospel here, and God encourages him EVERY step of the way. Not a very godlike thing to do, but we should expect no less from this character. It fits with everything else He’s done so far.

8  And he said, Lord God, whereby shall I know that I shall inherit it? Again, Abram is a BAD believer, because he’s asking for confirmation. This is actually something believers should do a little more. Ask for confirmation. Make sure the things you believe are grounded in reality. It’s a radical idea, I know. Thousands of years later, it’s still kind of seen as a fringe idea within the religious community at large. I’m hoping it becomes more mainstream in the future. 9  And he said unto him, Take me an heifer of three years old, and a she goat of three years old, and a ram of three years old, and a turtledove, and a young pigeon. “You want proof? Kill some animals for me. I don’t just give proof for free! I need to see something suffer and die first. Get with the program Abram!” 10  And he took unto him all these, and divided them in the midst, and laid each piece one against another: but the birds divided he not. Abram kills a cow, a goat, and a sheep and splits them into pieces. Why? Well, because this is an ancient ritualistic custom. Here’s how it works: Two people make an agreement. They slice animals in half, and then walk between the separated halves to symbolically affirm that the same should happen to them if they break their end of the bargain. This ritual is also mentioned in Jeremiah 34. Sounds like the perfect thing for a timeless, eternal, all powerful being to endorse and participate in, right?  11  And when the fowls came down upon the carcases, Abram drove them away. 12  And when the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram; and, lo, an horror of great darkness fell upon him. In essence, Abram is unsure if he can trust the voices in his head about getting this land for his posterity, so he sets up a primitive version of a contract and waits - fully expecting God to physically appear and “sign” it by walking through the dead animals with him. But God doesn’t show, and he spends the day shooing away vultures from the rotting carcasses until he FALLS ASLEEP. That’s right. As with ALL proof offered by believers, the justification for it is 100% in his mind. Nothing happened to the dead animals. God didn’t physically appear. Abram asked for evidence and got NONE, so he made some up in his own head while he slept. For some reason, believers don’t balk at this. I’ll never understand why. There’s another minor thing to address here. I’ve seen it postulated by more than a few apologists that God put Abram to sleep BECAUSE there was no promise on Abram’s part, and he didn’t need to walk through the dead animals. As if that makes a lick of sense. The argument that real proof wasn't offered, just something in his sleeping mind, because of a technicality in the contract. God couldn’t show up physically and offer real proof, because Abram didn’t owe him anything. How does that make any sense at all?       13  And he said unto Abram, Know of a surety that thy seed shall be a stranger in a land that is not theirs, and shall serve them; and they shall afflict them four hundred years; 14  And also that nation, whom they shall serve, will I judge: and afterward shall they come out with great substance. 15  And thou shalt go to thy fathers in peace; thou shalt be buried in a good old age. 16  But in the fourth generation they shall come hither again: for the iniquity of the Amorites is not yet full. All written down after the fact, by someone who wasn’t there. The words of God in a dream are recorded IN QUOTES by someone writing in generations later, after the supposed promises and prophesy made by God have already come to pass. How very convenient. 17  And it came to pass, that, when the sun went down, and it was dark, behold a smoking furnace, and a burning lamp that passed between those pieces. Ok, so there’s two options here. Verse 12 says, “And when the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram,” so he is asleep here. Did the smoking furnace and burning lamp pass through the dead animals in his dream? Because that’s REALLY stupid. Or, did this even happen physically with no one present to witness it except a sleeping old man - but it’s recorded as an actual event that happened anyway. Because thats somehow even MORE stupid than the first option. Much like the snake in the Garden of Eden, we’re supposed to extrapolate from the story that the furnace and the lamp are symbols of God, just like the Snake was a representation of the Devil. The text doesn’t actually explicitly say this, and there’s no reason to automatically jump to that conclusion, but the apologists are going to jump anyway. It’s their nature. 18  In the same day the Lord made a covenant with Abram, saying, Unto thy seed have I given this land, from the river of Egypt unto the great river, the river Euphrates: 19  The Kenites, and the Kenizzites, and the Kadmonites, 20  And the Hittites, and the Perizzites, and the Rephaims, 21  And the Amorites, and the Canaanites, and the Girgashites, and the Jebusites. God promises again, without any actual evidence - that he’s going to give the land to Abram’s descendants, AND further promises that they’ll overthrow all the various “Ites” that dwell there. Because Moses wants the people to believe that God said all this. And they do. Without any evidence. And in thousands of years, nothing there has changed. People still believe things, just because someone tells them God said it.