#I figured it'd be healthier to do so

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

first of all, this is all legit, and not bait, though i have a feeling it may come off that way, this did happen to me. please don't publish if tumblr sends it off anon.

i'm a lesbian with gender dysphoria, and while i haven't had much sexual experience, i would consider myself a stone top. in the last year and a half i began reading "terf"/radical feminist writings and reading "terf" tumblr blogs fairly actively, largely out of frustration with misogyny i was experiencing IRL. though i never engaged with the community i did stop identifying as genderfluid and started understanding my dysphoria as stemming from the trauma of being bullied by other girls for having a high-androgen DSD, and using different pronouns/transition thoughts as unhealthy coping mechanisms. i'm happy with this, but i also don't know if i'm attracted to women anymore.

i've always been attracted to women in a way that's stereotypically guy-like; i find feminine women very attractive and not so much fellow(?) butches, want to penetrate with a strap on, don't like bush much, cursory interest in BDSM/daddy kink. i read/watched het erotica and porn sometimes and identified with the man. what i read problematized pretty much every aspect of that- femininity as a cage, penetration as violence/straps as disidentification w the female body, infantilization of women, bdsm as abuse etc. also, desisting making me more conscious of dysphoria/knowledge of how extensive sexual dimorphism is putting me off both women with larger breasts and hips AND smaller breasts and hips/unrealistically masculine body types as well. so a lot of what turned me on before isn't arousing anymore, or i feel guilty about it, and i haven't been able to find butch4butch stuff which is much healthier very interesting.

i consider my sexuality healthier now on a political level but my ability to get aroused/jerk off has plummeted (used to be i could jork it sunrise to sunset) and thinking about being in a relationship w another woman makes me feel uneasy and weird, especially since a lot of what i read emphasized reciprocative cunnilingus/tribbing (which i don't like) as the healthiest sex options. i also think about both my dysphoria and my sexuality issues 100x more than i did before, even though i was promised the opposite (freedom from dysphoria and feeling happier as a lesbian), and it's stressing me out day-to-day. i'm aware based on your general ethos that you probably think i'm a terrible person right now, but i figured it'd be useful to seek the opinion of someone who radically disagrees with what i've read on what i could/should do next, since i admittedly miss being at peace with my sexuality.

thanks for reading.

hi there anon,

it's a bummer that you'd think I would assume you're a terrible person based on everything you've told me here. I generally try not to consider people terrible unless they're actively being shitheads or hurting other people, which doesn't sound at all like you're describing. from what you've told me, you've been up to your eyes in some information that's made you feel deeply uncomfortable in your sexuality and now you're seeking out a new perspective to help you make sense of that hurt. that describes most of the people who send me questions!

it's so striking to me that much of what you're describing is very reminiscent of what's recounted in The Persistent Desire, an anthology of writings on butch/femme identities edited by femme historian and archivist Joan Nestle that was released in 1992. in various essays and interviews countless butches and femmes recount their discomfort with the feminist turn against butch and femme identities that too place in the 70s, when both roles were declared problematic recreations of heterosexuality and summarily decried as politically "incorrect" for lesbians. it's shocking to me how much what you've described echoes these accounts experienced by lesbians half a century ago - the disowning of women who are "excessively" feminine or masculine, the demonizing of penetrative sex, general insistence that there are "correct" sex acts that every lesbian is supposed to enjoy, and the deep discomfort and insecurity that this causes among people who don't fit into the very rigid standards of proper lesbian identity set forth.

here's a link to a PDF, if that's interesting to you at all. it's very long, so feel free not to read it straight through; it's a great project to skim and an incredible way to get in touch with the lesbians who came before us. their accounts of their lives are so wildly different from the boundaries of "good" queer representation that feel so universal today; in discussing their own lives many of these women speak very bluntly about their experiences with abuse, drugs, sex work, and violence. it's a great glimpse into the lives and history of a lot of very ordinary lesbians just living their lives, and I'm very grateful it's been preserved.

now, as for what you're actually gonna do: hey. listen. first of all, if you haven't given up reading this stuff yet, you've gotta. you simply cannot keep internalizing stuff that makes you overanalyze your own sexuality so hard that you feel uncomfortable about being attracted to women. that's not "healthy," that's conversion therapy lite. there are other places to talk about feminism without being made to feel ashamed of yourself.

listen: there's nothing unhealthy about anything that you described about yourself. being a stone butch, being attracted to certain looks and aesthetics, watching porn, wanting to use a strap and roleplay during sex and not being interested in other sexual activities - all of those thing are completely normal and, yes, healthy. certainly healthier than feeling the need to repress your sexuality so hard that thinking about being with a woman doesn't feel right!

should we run through that list?

femininity as cage - sure, okay, femininity isn't for everyone, and there are parts of it that suck. that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with women who like to wear dresses or put on makeup or shave or whatever, or anyone who's attracted to those women. genuinely I cannot think of anything less interesting or important to feminist organizing than getting hung up about what people want to wear. it's clothes, dude. it's fucking clothes. pick a more important hill to die on, I implore you.

penetration is not the same thing as violence. there's just nothing to debate about that one; it's patently absurd to pretend that every act of penetrative sex is rape and you'd have to fundamentally misunderstand how consent works to believe that.

straps are not about "disidentification with the female body," they're about augmenting a sexual experience. a strap-on is not more problematic than a vibrator or a massage oils or a pillow used to prop up a body part. unless those are also bad? are those bad? are pillows disidentifying from the female body also? I'm not up to date on this.

straight up I don't even know which part of your whole deal the infantilization of women is supposed to address, but a thing that I've always found interesting about a lot of radical feminists who are deeply distrustful of sex is the way that many of them seem to assume that women can't be trusted to understand their own sexual desires and need to be taught what's appropriate. seems kind of condescending to me, personally.

BDSM isn't the same thing as abuse. abuse, crucially, is not a situation that people can safe word out of or negotiate the constraints of. it's kind of like how, you know, I purposefully pay people to shove needles in my skin when I want a tattoo, but I wouldn't be stoked about it if somebody just ran up to me in public and started stabbing me without any warning or conversation. context is crucial. there can certainly be abusive people within BDSM spaces, but that's true of people of literally every sexual proclivity on earth, and certainly not an innate feature of BDSM. it's just make believe, dude. it's dress up. it's sex LARPing.

also, psst, hey. that thing about being attracted to women in a "guy-like" way? no such thing. men are humans, dude; they experience attraction in as many different ways as anyone else. for every dude interested in the same stuff as you there are men yearning for hairy women, muscular women, masculine women, women who will dominate them, women who would rather be eaten out then penetrated, and so on. to say nothing of the men who aren't into women at all! and, as is obvious from your own experience, men don't have a monopoly on those kinds of feelings, anyway! there are no men or women feelings, dude; it's all just people having feelings and fighting for their lives trying to figure out what they're into to.

I want to particularly talk about that last bit, where you mentioned not enjoying or wanting to engage in cunnilingus or tribbing. that's totally fine! people like different shit in all kinds of combinations - I'm personally a huge fan of getting eaten out and scratched up or bitten, but I don't do penetration and I've genuinely never met anyone who actually liked tribbing - and there are absolutely people out there who will, to paraphrase the poet Tinashe, perfectly match your freak.

(have you heard about the perpetual, critical shortage of tops that the queer community faces? you'd be a godsend, just saying.)

also, actually, hey I wanted to circle back to another thing as well: it's deeply alarming to me that whatever radfem stuff you've been reading has you feeling "put off" of women with wide hips and large breasts as well as women with small breasts and hips. what is wrong with either of those? both of those are just ways that women naturally look. women just look a wide variety of ways, and it's sad that that's upsetting you now. just thinking about this, conceptually, is giving me hives.

having been up to your eyes in all of this, I can definitely understand why you'd feel the urge to overanalyze you own gender and sexuality to the point of completely talking yourself out of identifying with anything that feels good for you. as I said, that's actually not healthy in any way, and as a sex educator I can't say that I think anyone genuinely invested in your well-being would want that for you.

entirely aside from their feelings on trans people, which I obviously disagree with pretty vehemently, one of the things about radfems that's most endlessly vexing to me is the insistence that such an extremely narrow range of sexual behaviors are appropriate. seems like a miserable way to live, and I sincerely hope you can detangle yourself from the morass of shame it's landed you in. you deserve better.

[signanothername]

If someone had found baby corrupted nightmare and taken him in, raised him, like, say for example, blue, how differently do you think everything would have ended up?

(*COUGH COUGH* totally not just pushing my dad swap agenda nope nuh uh *COUGH*)

i just imagine nightmare sneaking into his room at night to curl up near his bed like a dog, and IMMEDIATELY skedaddling when he senses him wake up.

This poor kid is freshly dead (alive? Born?) he is in Desperate need of comfort 💀 but it's not like he's gonna ask for it outright.

And i horrendously need someone to hold him and give him warm food and new clothes and toys to play with and blankets and tuck him in at night and Hold Him and feed him medicine when he's sick and read hin bedtime stories and rock him to sleep and give him a comfort plushie or blanket or item of sorts and HOLD HIM and-

ahem, so anyway, what do you think? How differently do you think he would've ended up? Cuz i think it'd be a lot different if nightmare was shown care by someone for once and comforted by someone who wasn't a fellow traumatized six year old.

And, yknow, was an adult who knew what they were doing and didn't hate him for no reason 💀

Ooooh :D

Yeah I definitely think he would’ve grown up a much different person, cause he wouldn’t have relied on himself to survive, he wouldn’t experience the constant fear of the many ways he could get hurt or die

He definitely wouldn’t have starved on negativity cause he didn’t know how to balance it anymore

And if he was actually raised by a loving parent that’s actually present in his life to guide him through it enough to find a healthy outlet for the horrors he experienced, as well as help him with his emotional, mental, and physical health a lot better, his life would be a lot easier

I think he still would be a lot more grumpy and a bit aggressive than he was before the corruption, and the Apple incident would still have a great impact on his psyche, he’d still hold a bit of fear inside, but that fear won’t end up guiding all his actions, and it definitely wouldn’t lead to him becoming power hungry, doing whatever he deems necessary to obtain it

Hell, even with how the corruption twists his happiness from something pure to finding joy in the misery of others, I still think with a loving parent raising him, he will find healthy outlets to his emotions, whatever they may be

I think he might eventually tell his parent figure about what happened with him, with his mother, with his twin, maybe even Dream would find himself in a lot better circumstances when he awakens from stone, finding a brother patiently awaiting him, finding himself waking up in warm welcoming arms, I definitely think it’ll contribute to the twins’ relationship being a lot better, a lot healthier

Their trauma would still put a few wrenches in their journey, but it definitely wouldn’t go so sour and bitter, Nightmare would be a lot more open towards Dream’s love and affection, hatred won’t taint his heart and cause their relationship to go so wrong

Generally, I definitely think it’ll be a lot more fluffy and slice of life-ish, which is super wholesome to think about

Now as for Blue specifically being the father figure, only two words, FUCK YES.

But I feel like, as a very traumatized lil child who doesn’t know any better, who had adults hate, hurt and even try to kill him, Nightmare would simply not trust Swap, not immediately

So it’d be really fun to see Nightmare actually warm up to Swap first way before he takes Nightmare in to raise and take care of him, it’d be fun to see what Swap might do to gain Nightmare’s trust enough for Nightmare to even let him within 10 meters without running away immediately or attacking him

May I also present some suggestions for another parental figure that could be really fun to explore? Color, I’d love to see him take care of a little newly corrupted Nightmare dhhdhdhd

Anyway *cough* this is such an adorable possible multiverse *cough*

[vaarsuvius-and-blackwing]

So my Elan Nale swap is me trying to figure out what would happen if instead of Nale going with Tarquin in the divorce, it was elan. In my mind it was either their mom seeing Nale was more naturally aggressive and deciding that intervening with that was the best she could do, or Tarquin though it'd be fun to have some great arc about son turning against the father who raised him or something.

So as a result Nale while still kind of a sleezy asshole, ends up more in the lawful neutral area because while he's still like "i'm the main character" he's also A TOTAL mama's boy and was raised in a healthier home so he's more "insults you for three hours" kind of an asshole then a murder asshole. Nale still doesn't become a bard, but he's likely some...oh good god why are there so many base classes in 3.5 maybe a spellthief? I'd need to do more research into classes. He's learned a lot about the world and it's narrative from spells he's stolen from bards over the years

So eventually he ends up with OOTS for reasons I am not sure yet and takes Elan's place and becomes a sort of an ethical ground between Belkar and V and is the bane of Roy's existence because he's a dick, but he's a SMART dick so he can make his bad ideas sound like good ideas

Meanwhile Tarquin still trained Elan to be a bard, but he was purposefully kept away from the violence and kept blind to it, or given sounding good excuses to why it was happening. So while Elan's on edge and a bit more desensitized, he's still Elan. Though this changed when Tarquin decided he was old enough to move onto the betrayal part of the plot and brutally traumatized him with the truth which created the classic ‘son discovers father is evil and turns against them causing a dramatic fight featuring lots of I LOVED YOU sort of clashes’

Elan as a bard knew exactly what he was doing, but with no other options and unable to stand that suffering, he ran the fuck way. However, much to Tarquin's dismay Elan is refusing to actually work towards fighting him, repressing all of it down and living in mild denial. Doing odd jobs and adventures to own cash and try to not be in the story his father made for him. Though he knows he must return one day, because he can't stand the thought of what is happening there. As part of this he got a level or two in rogue to help hide himself, which is neat and he ends up founding the linear guild. (though now that I have become aware of how many classes there are I might give him a different class to take levels in to hide to help set him more apart from haley)

[puppetmaster13u]

Thinkin about the Meat Marionette Au, specifically the batclan having two bodies. And I apologize if this is rambling lol

I feel like they still train and work out most days (look Bruce has gotten used to picking up his kids, he's not going to stop even if he's in his human body). It's just probably not to the same extent as in canon of a daily thing without giving their bodies a break. That probably actually means their human bodies are healthier than in canon, seeing as one actually needs to let their muscles rest between exercising them. Not to mention they- or at least their bodies- are getting rest. Hell it's almost like their bodies are in comas for a few hours each night what with how low their brain activity would register as.

Now I'm thinking this probably influences how they act and appear towards the public. They shy away from most interviews (they're trying not to hiss or growl) and are mostly quiet whenever they speak in public, so it'd be easier for the tabloids to spin a story about a shy or demure family doing their best to help Gotham. Which is... the complete opposite of what they are, but no one needs to know that.

Others might even go the mysterious hermit route when trying to write a story about the Waynes, seeing as they're not spotted outside often (what with uses of disguises and such) save for the times the patriarch of the family has gone on another adoption spree. Honestly most of the stories about them are either having to do with Wayne industries, the very rare gala that everyone is wanting into, or the several adoptions that have been reported on several times.

Online is another story probably, and there's definitely several memes about each Wayne family member's posts. They're somehow Gotham's darlings despite being social recluses.

That being said, being connected to the Tunnels definitely has an effect on them even in their original human bodies. Not just mentally but physically as well. Like there is some definite off vibes the longer one is in their presence, their movements just a hint too graceful and something almost... predatory about it.

Also slightly random but I feel like Bruce would grow his hair out, like not even purposely at first. He just got caught up in cases and trying to figure out the meat-marionettes (thank you Dick for the name, but did you really have to call them that) that he forgot to get it cut several times. And by then it's just easier to put it in a ponytail than stay still for however long it'd take to get it cut and well, actually look good even if he himself doesn't care about it. Then he also gets kids who want to learn how to do things like braiding hair, which means he learns too and... yeah...

This au is a combo of my cryptid batfam and @phoenixcatch7's possessed doll au, which you need to check out because it's great. A really fun concept and influences a lot of this Au concept too. Also mutual of mine do you have any ideas for their civilian IDs

[kooki914]

How do you think would Noelle and Ralsei interact with each other if they got the chance? What would their relationship bring out of the other?

This is something I've given a lot of thought to, and something I'm still salty wasn't explored at all in Chapter 2. So this post is both going to answer your question as well as be my excuse to write an essay about these two.

The thing is, Noelle and Ralsei are narrative foils to each other. That probably sounds weird on account of the fact that they never interact, but both mechanically and through dialogue, we see parallels form between them. They're both enigmatic, mysterious, while keeping up friendly appearances, while also being literal or figurative royalty in their respective worlds (Noelle is from a rich family and is adored, Ralsei is a prince with no subjects). They're both love interests to the leads (yes, to Kris and Susie BOTH, the snowgrave route is essentially an exploration of a toxic friends-to-lovers but I'm not getting into that here), and they're both rife with religious symbolism, as well as the fact they're both prey animals (in a world where boss monsters like Toriel and Asgore can look more lion-esque, Ralsei's decidedly goat-ish appearance is kind of striking to me). They have the same heal spell (a pray to light) and they're both "passive" in that kind of way a mage usually is in RPGs.

Noelle's arc mainly centers around agency, while Ralsei's arc mainly centers around identity. For all the struggles she faces, Noelle doesn't really have that... crisis of character that Susie and Ralsei are prone to. Even in the snowgrave route, she doesn't question herself, she questions Kris. And, while Ralsei IS an obedient doormat, it's not out of a lack of agency (he shows us as much when he puts his foot down right before the kids open a fountain), it's an active choice he KNOWS he can simply... Not Do (as evidenced by how upset he is with Susie's behaviour in chapter 1 and his epiphany about it in chapter 2, he essentially equates mean behaviour to Purposefully making people around you suffer, instead of a personality quirk or showing of emotion).

It's interesting to think about how they'd complement one another. Not even strictly in a character arc sense (I'll get to that), but just in a... character interaction sense. Noelle has this pattern of putting the spotlight on other people. Even when she talks about herself it's always framed as a way to lift up those around her, while Ralsei has this sneaky way of getting to know you without you even realising (if the rooms he made for Kris and Susie are anything to go by). I think this would result in a dynamics where Noelle (passively, almost accidentally) allows Ralsei to open up in a more genuine way, while Ralsei still tends to Noelle's needs like he does for everyone else.

It's also interesting from a worldbuilding sense. We've seen Ralsei not give a flying fuck about Anyone that isn't directly connected to the prophecy, both for humour reasons and for horror reasons (as seen in the snowgrave route), so giving him a friend that's 1) a lightner, 2) not part of the prophecy, and 3) trying to actually know him on a personal level - it'd probably cause him to actually rethink his worldview. If someone like Noelle, someone who's got nothing to do with the prophecy, can be an important person to him and a good friend to people she doesn't *need* to care about, then why can't he? Can he be someone outside the prophecy? Is his identity and purpose not confined to this, and what does that mean for him in the long run?

And, on Noelle's side of things, Ralsei would probably be a healthier outlet for that feeling of nostalgia she's so addicted to. With him around, she's allowed to just be a kid again. No appearances to keep up, no expectations to fulfill, he's a fresh start and a new friend that she's allowed to be her authentic self around because his existence is essentially rooted in tending to the inner child of all the lightners he comes across. And maybe then she'll be able to let go of the past. Maybe, though viewing her childhood through an outsider's eager point of view, she can see how far away it is, and how she doesn't NEED it to be happy. Things can't be the same, and maybe that's a good thing. Maybe they can be better.

Overall, there's also a... vague "burden of femininity" they both have. They take on emotional labour even when they don't have to, just because that's what's expected of them. I so badly want a Dark Fun Gang-esque arc with these two where they defect from the team and just decide to be bad guys on their own terms for a while. Just because they can, just to see what it brings out of them. And, they'd be complete dorks about it of course, but it'd be nice to see them breaking their moulds with people they don't feel judged by, with friends they don't feel the need to impress because they're already so similar to.

There's this one bit of dialogue I wrote for them for one of my AUs, specifically in the above scenario where they decide to be bad guys for a bit, and I feel I need to share it here because it puts into words something I can't without taking away from the feels of it:

[alectoperdita]

Can you tell us a bit more about the confrontation at the kink club (in bad guys have more fun)? I'm very curious!

Yeah, I'm happy to spill a bit on that!

So I am super tempted to dedicate a whole part in the series to this, but given there's actual character/relationship consequences to this one, it's harder to write than cranking out more PWP. But do not count it out. Just waiting to get into the right headspace to tackle it.

Hacker!Seto has a history of going to kink and BDSM clubs semi-regularly, since long before he started sleeping with Jou. Not only is it a convenient place to find sexual partners when he's bored and horny, he also finds subbing (in specific scenarios) is a good reset for his brain when he gets "stuck." But since he got together with Jou, he hasn't been to one.

Until they have a particularly trying job. Jou has a pretty well-developed sense of Seto's mood at this point. And Seto is vibrating. He is snappy. He is Wound Up. Jou half expects Seto will be tracking him down afterward so he can get the tension fucked out of him.

Except Seto doesn't go find Jou. They finish up the job and Seto splits. Jou, now even more worried, decides to follow him. When Seto is this Tense, he usually starts acting recklessly. Jou is invested enough in him he's concerned about his general well-being at this point. (Plus, if Seto can stalk him, Jou should be able to return the favor, right?)

Jou follows him to a place he figures out is a sex club as he grifts his way in through a service entrance. It takes a bit but he finds Seto with another guy, talking real close and being kinda touchy and obviously flirting. Jou watches them for a while, super conflicted. Now they never discussed being exclusive. Jou's always kinda thought Seto might be fucking other people, but convinced himself it was none of his business. It's harder to stay impartial, though, when he's faced with apparent evidence.

(Yeah, he's jealous, but he knows he shouldn't be jealous because it's not like Seto's his actual significant other. It's not technically cheating.)

Jou can't take it anymore when it looks like Seto and his companion are about to set away and go somewhere more private. He slips in and pretends all "hey sorry to keep you waiting." Other guy gets pissed (lol he did not sign up to get roped into a cuck fantasy or some other couple play). Seto is also pissed because he just lost his playmate.

But they can't come to blows in the middle of the open area of the club, so they make use of the private room to duke it in.

No small part of this confrontation is Jou being faced with his own hurt pride. What? Was he not good enough that Seto had to go cruising for other dick? He knows they're just fuck buddies, but he was under the impression that they were both satisfied with that.

Seto has to brutally correct him that this isn't about Jou, get over himself. (In his view, it's not about any deficiencies on Jou's part, but in a healthier relationship, this is also where you talk candidly to your partner, and they're not in a place to do that until they're absolutely forced to. Like right this moment, lol.) They've been having fantastic sex, but it's fantastic vanilla sex.

Seto sometimes craves more.

This doesn't reassure Jou at all. Does Seto think he's incapable of giving him what he wants? For crying out loud, he was straight like a month or two ago. Now look at him!

Seto questions if Jou actually can. Because this isn't like whatever he thinks from his porn. Seto likes impact play, specifically. And he knows, he can see that Jou struggles with the violence he can and has inflicted in his past. He doesn't want or need Jou's issues bleeding into this. It'd be bad for both of them.

But they're both stubborn and more than a bit reckless and determined to prove the other wrong. (Yes, a healthier thing to do would be to cool their heads and call it a night and revisit the topic another time, but that's not the characters I'm writing lol.) So they try out some light impact play, probably spanking to keep it entry-level.

Long story short, I'm hoping this is the start of Jou learning the ropes when it comes to kink. Much like using his strength as a hitter for the team, it kinda gives him another way to recontextualize it for good. Or at least I hope it can be pulled off that way haha.

[estrel]

For anyone else trying to Not be chronically online...

i watched a video (by lrnjulie) the other day and i'm thinking of doing some digital minimalism and only having:

tumblr

youtube

a website

from now on. here's why...

[I posted what is essentially a vid format of this on tiktok as a final goodbye if you want to watch that here instead]

i think it'd be beneficial for me as an artist to detox from being /so/ influenced by other people's styles and what other artists are doing (generally). so anyways here's why i'd keep those 3 specifically and nothing else:

tumblr - blogging with text AND images feels healthier than most social media, imo (there's twitter but i'm A. not on it and B. have only heard toxic things). like a public diary and brain dump all at once. also the ability to block tags is really nice, and i can better choose what to/what not to engage with. and bc im primarily on mobile, i can set time limits so im not on here *all* the time. i need somewhere to high post tho & most importantly, a special interest of mine is fandoms, and tumblr is THEE fandom website where I can engage w my interests. also my friend's in there (^:

youtube - i have dissociation and, along with other methods of helping with it, i think it'd be neat to document my life and put it on a platform. also another place to share my special interests in video format! and my art (:

website - my "long term project" as lrnjulie calls it. a place for my portfolio and my art/writing/creative stuff. might even incorporating blogging into here, and definitely a place to put my shop

so that's the triumvirate i'm gonna try out, at least for now. i'm not sure i'll always be off social media, but i think i need to be for at least a while for my mental health. i once took a yearlong break off tiktok and my life was so much better then, i was less in my head and went out more. so, i'm sharing in case anyone else who struggles with mental health/anxiety is wanting to do the same. maybe we can do it together? i'll keep a tag for updates if anyone is interested in my progress or following along: #detoxinitiative2024 but yeah, i figured it was worth sharing (:

thanks for reading! remember to hydrate and eat if you haven't in a while (:

[quartzhearted]

great tree moon, year xx.

[ SECOND CORRESPONDENCE W. KINGDOM OF BRODIA. ]

Hi, honey,

It's been a little bit since my last letter---and let me tell you, there sure have been some new things here at the monastery. I swear it wasn't that long since I last talked to you, but maybe it has been? Time's a hell of a thing, ain't it.

A handful of moons ago, it was almost like some kind of mass exodus; a bunch of people disappeared, then came back after some time passed. Apparently it's a normal thing, but... it's really strange? I remember seeing something-or-other around the monastery asking for participants, I think... I don't know. It's all a little hazy. Apparently I could have gone, but there was too much to do and I decided against it. Lots of people came back with real bad sunburns.

I've got a pal, Lambert---he's the guy that consensually punched me, remember him?---and he'd gone off to wherever it was. He came back a completely different person. I'm talking new look, new attitude, new lease on life. I really wonder what happened to him over there, but I haven't had the chance to ask him yet. Baby, if you met Lambert, I know the two of you would catch on like a wildfire. He's fantastic!

Speaking of pals, I've made a few more since I last talked to you. One of my favorites is this guy named Matthias---I mean, guy's like an alternate me! He's huge, got short, orange hair, axe guy, and he's a mean fighter. When we first met, we did it the warrior's way. Ended in a tie, and that's while he had a problem with his leg! He's a lot more deadpan-looking than Lambert is, but he's his own brand of feisty. I hope I get to talk to him more; I think we've got some things in common.

There's a new wind blowing at the monastery right about now, and lots of people are getting involved. Heading out on missions, picking up odd jobs, or getting hired for real jobs, and that's just a few things off the top of my head. Hell, I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, so I picked up a job. It was... well, there'll be some instant portraits in here. You can figure it out from those. Damn near gave Diamant a heart attack.

I hope my birthday wasn't too quiet. I assume it'd have turned into a day of mourning, given how things went with Alexand... but I'd much rather people drink and be merry like they always did. I was finally able to take Alcryst out to drink, and Diamant took me out to drink. And that's not even mentioning all of the neat gifts I got; this dragon squirt Nils gave me a dragon warrior charm! And Lambert gave me a sword. A really nice sword! I think I'll hang the charm off of it... but then it might break. So what should I do? You were always good about practical customization, so do you have any ideas?

A girl I've never seen before gave me a stone for my birthday. It was pyrite, so she has to be from Brodia, right? Because why else would she give something like that to me...?

Also, Lapis said something interesting to me when she gave me her present. Something about being newly-included in people that are worried about my health and somesuch. Very weird.

That's probably enough yapping from me for one letter. Like I mentioned, I've put in some instant portraits again---me in uniform, me working at my other job, Diamant is there in one of them, and a few random ones of people I've met. Being here has really helped me talk to people my age and people not my age. It's a real blessing.

I think about you every morning, afternoon, and night, my dearest. Even if you still don't believe this is real... that's all right with me. All I worry about is if you're healthy and happy. Hopefully Diamant and Alcryst have been writing you as well, but if they haven't, I swear that I've never seen them shining brighter or living healthier. They're doing just fine, and so am I.

Write me soon, sapphire. Even if it's just one word, it's one word from my loveliest gemstone.

Signed,

Morion, Professor of Axe, Sword, and Authority at the Officers Academy

[rimunagenius]

The Five Times Will Miller Wanted to Kiss You.

Parings: Will Miller x f!reader

Word count: 3.7k

Warnings: Straight fluff, a lot of cuteness and platonic? semi established relationship behavior?? A LOT OF PINING!! (unrequited love [Will]) This is basically Will Miller pining over reader years before she met abusive cheating husband and before he got engaged.

Note: IM BACK!!! i wanted to depict Will and readers relationship before the events of Triple Frontier, and provide a small explanation as to why Will acts the way he acts when it comes to the reader (the TENSION IMMA ADD FOR THEM PEOPLE!!) the build up for their story is gonna be insane!! also, the tension in these scenarios you have to cut it with a chainsaw. ‘bowie’ and ‘sunshine’ are nicknames used for reader.

could/should be read as the prequel to Lucky

——

one:

The first time Will wanted to kiss you was when he got back from his first deployment.

You did this everytime they were coming home. That he was coming home. You had been his bestfriend for years. Well into your guys' second year of highschool. He always thought you were the prettiest girl in the world. All those girlfriends or girls who lined up just for him, had nothing on you.

It was certainly hard leaving you behind for months, you two had only been apart for weeks at a time, but months was something he didn't know he could handle.

So seeing you standing at base, waiting for him, stirred up a feeling he had missed while he was away. Watching you bounce from heel to toe, hands clasped together infront of your mouth, hoping to see him get off the plane, elicited a warm feeling in his cheeks and stomach. Etching a smirk on his soft pink lips.

He saw you before you saw him, hell, Frankie and Ben, and anyone who was near and paying attention could see him already looking at you. His smile only tripled in size when you finally saw him approaching.

Immediately he dropped his bags right where he stood when he saw you take off running towards him, squealing, giggling, and crying all at once.

Right then and there, he wanted to pull the prettiest woman into him and kiss her while everyone watched. He wanted everyone to see the most beautiful woman hug him and be excited for his return. He wanted everyone to be jealous the way he was when it was him watching you and someone else.

He was entranced by you. Your hair had grown longer and healthier, the same color looking impossibly more vibrant than ever. He couldn't help but notice your frame and figure changed. You have a slightly, just slightly, taller frame and you certainly grew into your curves since sophomore year.

His mind was only ever on you. The whole time he was away on those dark nights. The hard nights. It was only ever you. You. You. You.

He caught you when you had thrown yourself at him, full force. Him, barely moving an inch.

"Oh my god, Will! I missed you so much, you have no idea." You spoke, slightly muffled, as your head pressed into his neck in the hug you seemed to wrap yourself, literally, in. From catching you, one of his hands moved from the bottom of your thigh to your back to join the other.

All he did was hold you. "I think I do, Sunshine." He whispered into your ear. His grip on you only tightening. He missed his girl.

"And oh my god! You look so good with short hair! And you have muscles! Oh my god you have muscles, Will." You had pulled away from his neck, your legs and arms still wrapped around his body, just looking at him in the eyes.

Your faces were close in proximity due to the position. That's when he felt every bone and muscle in his body aching to kiss you so passionately. To kiss you like he's missed a lifetime with you, essentially, he has emotionally.

He couldn't kiss you. He didn't know if there was someone, he didn't know where that kiss would lead him. Where it'd lead you and your guys' friendship. It was far too risky. So he settled for resting his forehead on yours, slowly letting you drop to the floor.

"Im so glad you made it back home." Was all he heard you whisper from your conversation as he focused on the touch of your hands that somehow ended up cupping his cheeks.

"Me too, darlin'."

Will planned to spend every waking moment he could with you on leave. He didn't want to waste any moments that could be pulled from right under him. He would spend this leave watching you, loving you, regardless of if he wasn't yours or you, his. He knew it wouldn't be like that because your you, and he's not who he was before he left.

"C'mon you, it's time to get you home." You whispered as you let go of him, and grabbed his hand instead, already trekking to the car.

——

two:

The second time Will wanted to kiss you was when you two were at Tom's wedding.

He should've known you would have looked like an angel sent to earth from heaven. Your beauty has always been something that captured his mind in a way he didn't understand and didn't want to understand. The way you were nothing less than the most beautiful human being on this earth, and that you were his bestfriend.

Although you looked like you were heaven on earth, he felt this was his own personal hell. He felt as if the gods were punishing him and condemning him to an eternity of witnessing the godly beauty bestowed infront of him. Torturing him because he knows he cannot have you, and that he will never have you. Atleast in the way that he wants. The temptation egging on the intrusive thoughts.

Your dress long and green. The green that he despised before he had met you. What once reminded him of broccoli and vomit, now reminded him of the purest of natural beauty. The green he loved because you did. You hair long and the curls sitting nicely as they cascaded down the expanse of your back.

He was entranced by the look—by you. And he would be damned if he took his eyes off of you.

"Hey boys!" He heard you quip as you got closer to the groomsmen of the wedding. Frankie had texted you in need of assistance of tying his tie—everyone's tie. "Im here on time which means I took my seat on time, for once might I add, and you boys still find a way to make me late." You shook your head as you hugged Frankie. You fixed his tie and moved onto Benny, hugging him and fixing his tie. The two left the room to go check on Redfly as you moved to Will.

"Hi." He said. That's all he could say. His mind somewhere else as he gazed at you. All he could think about was the beauty that was you. That encapsulated his mind into a bubble of attraction at all hours of the day. It was damn near impossible to speak a full sentence when you looked at him like that.

Granted you thought it was just a normal look of platonic affection, but to him, it was as if you knew what he was thinking and feeling all in that moment. "Hi."

He watched you smile at him while you adjusted, and fixed his tie. He knew how to tie a tie, he thinks a part of you knew that too. He would be lying if he said he played dumb just to have you this close and personal with him. "I thought you knew how to do this, Miller." You quipped, a small giggle escaping past your soft lips.

There it was. He was caught. "I do."

"Then you don't need my help." You started to drop the fabric of his tie, and land a small shove to his shoulder.

"I said I knew how, I didn't say I didn't want you close to me, sunshine." Will knew he may have exposed himself, said too much. But the look on your face when he said it, assured him he didn't push it. He had placed his hands on your hips, bringing you closer, closer than before.

He didn't take his eyes off of you. The whole time you tied it. He watched the way your eyes were trained on the task but flickered up to his every couple of seconds. He watched the way your nose sloped perfectly and how well your hair framed your face.

He could stare at you forever if time allowed it. If you allowed it. The feeling you brought out in him was something he's never felt for anyone before. This feeling was only reserved for you, no one would be able to bring this back out in him.

He stared at you until you finished, and for a little while after. You two stared at eachother and it took everything in him to not kiss you. To not kiss you like you were the air he needed to breathe.

It wasn't until you leaned in closer and closer that his heart started to beat out of his chest. This wasn't happening. You couldn't have someone like him, surely you knew that you deserved so much better than what Will could offer. His mind was moving a mile a minute thinking and rationalizing all the possibilities that could come from your face inching closer to his.

"Your gonna be late, handsome. Your the best man, so I suggest you stop looking at me how you just were and get a move on." You whispered into his ear. Okay, so Will was a little dissapointed, completely dissapointed, that you didn't actually kiss him. He would hope that you would, you still had time.

He couldn't have you. Repeating it in his head like it was a prayer with an ulterior motive. If he kept repeating it, maybe the universe would take pity and jinx it. Just give him what he wanted.

"Thank you, pretty girl." He settled for a kiss on the forehead before you both walked out of the room.

——

three:

The third time Will wanted to kiss you was when you and the guys had a movie night.

Movie nights didn't happen often as everyone had a busy schedule. Frankie was spending more time with his new girl, Benny training to start fighting in local fights, that Will often coached him for. Santiago was always planning to go back home to his mother, and everyone thinks that will be set in motion soon.

So no better than for you, who's schedule was mostly open aside from work, to suggest a movie night before everyone gets to busy and before Santi leaves.

It started like every other time you've done this. Santiago took the best recliner in this basement, Frankie took the loveseat in between the two couches, Benny was always sprawled over the one couch and Will and you shared the other.

Except this time, Will sat on the farthest end of the sofa by the right arm rest. Your head in his lap and the rest of your body stretched over the expanse of the couch like Benny. Will never had a problem with the seating arrangement until right now.

All he could think about was the proximity between you two. Damn the movie, and damn everyone else in this room. You right here. In his lap. This was all his mind wanted to focus on—could focus on. His eyes weren't on the screen, they were simply drawn to you. Like busy honeybees drawn to a pool of honey.

One hand was on your cheek, his thumb making small strokes, and his other playing with your extended hair. Was this a little too domestic? yes. Did he care one bit? no. of course not. How could he when he had a beautiful beautiful girl his reach.

Yes your beauty was something he couldn't shake. You were always beautiful, and everyone could attest to the notion that you, the beautiful angel sent beauty, has never had an off day of looking like the most divine intervention in human form.

You had always been beautiful to him, but right now, you looked absolutely ethereal. It didn't help that you were sporting his favorite black hoodie that he had left at your home after the last gathering you hosted. He had to buy a new one and as fate would have it, or it all happened coincidentally, he had wore it paired with dark denim jeans and his black and white shell toe adidas.

You both matched and if that didn't do anything for his attraction to you then, it sure as hell did now. It didn't help that a scary part of the horror movie you suggested, got to you, which had you curled into his stomach; your face now hidden in his abdomen, away from the movie.

Your lips were drawn into a small pout and by god, did your lips look so kissable to him. All he ever wanted was to kiss you, tell you that it'd be okay even if it wasn't that scary. To call you his.

All he ever wanted was for you to want him. For you to need him the way he did. He was so desperately gone for you. It'd take him years to get over you and to make his heart stop beating for you. To make it stop repeating the constant call of your name. He just needed you to let him love you the way you were intended to be loved. His heart simply called your name, he believes it always had.

But he knew it wouldn't happen. Maybe not now, not soon, hell, maybe not in this lifetime. That wouldn't stop him from wanting you. From loving you. He'd just have to have you from afar.

And that's what he'll do until your ready. Love and admire you from afar, just like he's doing now. His eyes on you, the insatiable need to kiss you, the restraint in his actions, as you watch the movie. While he watches a vision better than any movie. You, in his lap. While you look like the effortless ethereal beauty you are to him.

——

four:

The fourth time Will wanted to kiss you was when you two were at the beach together.

"Will! Why are we in so deep! The water is about to reach my boobs." You huffed, arms moving any motion that would guarantee that you stayed afloat.

Of course Will didn't nessacarily realize how far it was for you. To him it barely hit his waist.

"Will! Are you even listen—AH!" You laughed as you tried to jump over the wave that looked giant compared to you, considering you were right under the wave in deep water. Suddenly you were submerged in water as the wave was far too big to jump over.

You rolled a little under the water, trying to come back up but the swell of the wave hasn't passed. The current pulling you closer to the shore but not far enough to where your far away from Will. You came back up, the current passing you making its way to the shore.

You swiped both hands over your hair and took a deep breath in.

Will turned as he heard you come up for air, and immediately a small smile of relief and amusement etched his sun kissed skin. He slowly moved closer to you as you opened your eyes and met him halfway.

Once you reached him, you slapped him on the chest. All he could do was laugh as he found more amusement in your frustration. "It's not funny you jackass! I almost drowned." Your eyebrows frowned just a little.

"But you didn't and that's all that matters." He smiled as he wrapped his arms around your head, pulling you impossibly close to his chest.

"It's gonna matter when my fist connects with your face, asshole." You rolled your eyes at the blonde.

"Yeah? You think can hit me?" He mused, his eyes not once leaving your glimmering eyes.

"Oh hell yeah, i can. It's gonna hurt, too." You quipped, mostly convincing yourself than him, but he decided to humor you. He's literally apart of a special forces tactical team, captain at that! A punch from you wasn't going to phase him one bit.

"Oh yeah? I think that’s kinda hot." He smirked while still holding the most intense eye contact you think you've had in your life, and you couldn't lie and say that it wasn't turning you on in the slightest.

"Oh, so your kinky? Never expected that from you." The water pushed your body just a little bit closer, your breasts flush against his stomach. Instinctively, his hands found place on your hips.

You two stared at eachother. You gaze falling to his lips for a split second hoping he didn’t notice. He did. That’s when his gaze fell from your eyes to your lips. Slowly, without either of you realizing it, you were both leaning closer to eachother. His breath fanning your cheeks. Before you couldn’t even make contact with him, he stopped.

You were being hoisted into the air and you didn't know what for until an even bigger wave made its way for you two. The water clashed with your skin, the cool air and the cold water sending chills all over your body. Will holding you up, took the brunt of the wave, pushing you and him closer to the shallow of the beach.

Once he put you back down, the water now at your hips, he placed you back in the same position as before. You both stood there for two seconds before he spoke.

“Cmon, it’s getting dark. We should head back, or we’ll be late for the guys’ movie night tonight.” His hand tapped your hips before you both made your way back to the shore, your hands locked together.

This would definitely play in his head over and over tonight when he can’t sleep. Another sleepless night from his nightmares…atleast he’ll have this beautiful moment—beautiful person, to deter the scary thoughts. You had the power over them. Over anything in his life.

——

five:

The fifth time Will wanted to kiss you was when his leave was over and he would be deployed for months. Months where he wouldn’t see you—his girl.

“I’ll miss you, Benny.” You stood on your tip toes to wrap your arms around Benny’s neck and kiss his cheek.

“I’ll miss you too, Bowie.” He kissed the top of your head. You’d never get used to the fact that even though he was the youngest, he was always the biggest.

“You know I love you right? Be safe.” You said before releasing him and walking over to Will.

You started coming to the buses on base because your dad had gotten you a pass when you were younger, coming to work in his office with him when your babysitter canceled. Plus, Will and Benny being your bestfriends, single, and parents who live in another state, don’t really have anyone to say goodbye and hug hello to when they leave and come back. So your here for them everytime.

Plus your here for Frankie and Santi too. But now they have their girlfriend and wife here for them too.

You had already bid your goodbyes to Santi, Frankie, and Benny. Last was Will. You walked over to blonde who was already looking at you. He had watched you hug and kiss everyone goodbye.

The internal conflict going on in his head drove him mad. He could kiss you goodbye and see where it take you two when he gets back. But that’d leave you reeling for months and he didn’t want to spark any hope just incase he didn’t come back. But there was the possibility that he’d come home, see you and hold you and never let go. You could finally be his and him, yours.

Or he could settle for the friendship between you two. Although he didn’t know that after the beach trip you guys took a while back, he didn’t know if the lines between friends and lovers was blurred. Regardless, he could have you to himself either way, just one he knew he wouldn’t lose you forever. And hell would he be a stupid man to not pick the one where you would remain in his life for as long as you’d have him.

“Bye, Will.” You immediately wrapped your arms around his neck, already trying to fight the tears. You didn’t know why it’d be so hard to say goodbye to Will. The worst just swimming in the back of your mind, the worst being he may never come back home to you. Your best friend. Your lover.

“Bye, bow.” He instantly dropped his bags and wrapped his arms around your waist and embraced you wholeheartedly and tightly. He didn’t want to let you go.

You drew back slowly, your hands landing on either one of his cheeks. “I love you,” You kissed his cheek. “Don’t you dare die,” You kissed his forehead. “You and Benny better come back home to me, you big idiot.” The hesitance in your body only lasted a millisecond before you decided to place a hopeful kiss to the corner of his mouth. Dangerously close to his clips and the boundary between friends and lovers.

You thought this would be a significant will boosting kiss, to encourage him to fight and come back to you. The possibility of being able to receive more from you if he came home safely.

“Wow, so touching. Truly.” He feigned sarcasm as he placed a hand on his heart before he grabbed your face. He knew how much he meant to you. But he also knew for a fact that you had no idea how much you meant to him. Although your words we definitely encouraging, he didn’t need them to have the most animalistic will power to fight his way back to you. If worst came to worst, he’d shoot himself in the foot just to be sent back home to you.

“I love you. I’ll come back home, baby.” He then kissed your forehead, and then reciprocated a kiss on the corner of your mouth before moving to the other side and placing a kiss there. His hold still on your face, he then opted to just let go and get on the bus. Another kiss would go against his internal conflict decision.

He’ll come home. When he does, he wouldn’t wait anymore. You’ll be his. He’ll be yours.

How it was always meant to be.

——

should i create a taglist for this small series? idk. if you want to be added, comment or message me!!

taglist:

[bubble-booty-valkyrie]

What are your thoughts on Nora's Arc?

Both are fun, loyal, ride or die motherfuckers. They're both in-shape, strong, have plenty of stamina, are wayyyyy healthier for each other than that pussy soyboi nerdy geek lame ass loser Ren or Weiss's shallow ass. (I like Weiss too but she camesl off as shallow)

Both have scars, like Nora's lichtenberg figures from smashing that electrified door and Jaune's white streaks to his hair from all the stress of being stuck in the LSD drug fueled magical wonderland that is the Ever After.

Nora's even got nick names for Jaune like Mister Muscles and based off the RWBY Beyond episode she's even started to playfully call him the Rusted Knight too.

I can totally see them getting together, Ren fucking off, and making a home for themselves and just straight up having a good time helping people. Probably settling down and opening up a ranch, zoo, or orphanage because they're just that good.

Also that height difference tho reminder that Nora is only 19 years old, and only 5'2" (1.57m) (when she's wearing boots) while Jaune is 19 years old (mentally 29 or 39), and 6'1" (1.85m) so that height difference is great. Once more Nora CAN be herself around Jaune and Jaune can be himself they don't have to change how they are as a person or learn what they are because they know what they are.

Remember Ren FUMBLED Nora so badly lmao bro got the girl then immediately got dumped because of one tiny ass argument lmaooo.

Oh hey look, I'm still alive, and you must be new here LMAO! -- Okay so, issue; You're not going to find any sympathy from me for Ren.. Or Jaune. I dislike them both from a shipping perspective, I don't HATE them, I just find them boring, overrated, and used way too often.

Same as writing on here, I refuse to write anything to do with Jaune because so many people use him and make the pathetic noodle boy a giga chad and self insert as him, and I think that's boring as fucc! So no, I don't write Jaune or Ren, and I sure as fucc don't ship them with Nora lol!

My crack ship, which is something that will never happen, I don't expect to happen, never expected to happen, and I have no issue with that in the slightest is Thunderbird, yes it's weird, but I ship Nora and Qrow!

I think they'd be perfect for each other, and again, I understand it'd never happen, but Qrow deserves some light in his life from a bubbly little redhead who knows she could get hurt, but is too tough and too stubborn for her own good, and Nora needs someone who understands what the world is really like, and doesn't crumble at the first sign of trouble, like Ren, lmao-

Seriously though, she'd brighten up his days, his life, too stubborn to listen to his warnings and too stubborn to let him drink himself to death, a warm smile worth fighting for~! And she'd want him to be happy, she's got some baggage too, obviously, so she'd understand him, but she'd want him to be happy~!

Plus, I mean, Nora wears a skirt and has a fat ass and thighs, I bet a million dollars Qrow has checked that out more then a few times LMAO~!

[leonawriter]

When I think of all the different detco pairings, I usually think of the main ones, and so I'm all "yeah I ship all canon plus a few non-canon (AKA queer) on the side!" and actually I just... when I think about it?

It's funny, but there are a few side pairings that I'm not a big fan of. Some not as bad as others, sure, but still.

(under a cut for criticism and salt)

Shiratori, for instance, has changed a lot ever since he was introduced. Not talking about M3, more his initial plot line where he's basically only there to act as a roadblock to Takagi and Sato getting together. He wasn't especially likeable, mostly throwing his weight around as a "marriage candidate" and stalking anything potentially like a date.

I have to wonder if Gosho's views on his earlier characterisation of certain characters and plots has changed, since then. I was already in the fandom when the Sato/Takagi kiss happened, which would mean the other officers couldn't keep pursuing Sato in the same way and Gosho would have to figure out what to do with the ones he'd previously only used for that purpose.

But then we have things like the bookend gags in Bride of Halloween only a few years ago where there are fake "wedding" and "funeral" events that are gatecrashed by Sato's... "admirers," and I wonder how much has actually changed.

Shiratori himself has Kobayashi, the kids' schoolteacher, but... the fact that he'd only met her for a short time as a kid to the point that he thought someone who turned out to be a murderer was her just because they did the same sort of paper craft with their cup holders was a little... frustrating.

Every time I've gone through that I've been "that could have been her. That literally could have been her. She could have changed, and her life experiences could have shaped her and made her a different person, and you would have to live with that." It'd be such a great story to tell, that sometimes that just happens. And he could meet Kobayashi and get to know her as an adult, as a new person, with no assumptions and no sense of her being a replacement goldfish for someone who was a replacement goldfish for.... her.

Overall I don't have anything with regards to those two that makes me actively dislike them, it's just... "man, that could have been SO much better written."

The other one I'd say I have salt over - and for similar reasons, too! - would be Chiba and Naeko. Because again, they met as small tiny children, and never forgot each other, and grew up, and... haven't changed one bit.

Honestly, just... he could at least spice that up by making it so that one of them had attempted to date other people, and it didn't work out because they're hung up on a memory. But that just makes me think of them finally finding each other, and they're so caught up with how they remember the other being, that they don't even recognise each other at first! That? That'd be fun.

The thing I really dislike about Chiba/Naeko is that she tries to effectively control him for her own purposes; she pushes him (anonymously, which is even creepier!) to lose weight (which because we're in comic book time happens really quickly, which is concerning) and then when other women start finding her guy attractive, she encourages him (effectively) to put that weight back on and be unattractive to others again. Never mind whether or not he's healthier or happier either way, oh no! It's all about her feelings, insecurities, and not wanting competition.

It's like - the pairings are so very hit and miss. He'll either write something so good, or he'll write something and you wonder if he's ever been able to experience the world outside of his art studio in order to have friendships with women, or learn about modern issues and so on.

...I also dislike Kyougoku's misogyny toward Sonoko, which is a much bigger issue, what with him policing the way she dresses and being way too controlling of who she hangs out with, projecting his insecurity that she even might date other men onto her, no matter what she'd say about it, no matter if it's her idol-crush on Kaitou Kid (which is different from romantic love), or just... hanging out with friends who aren't girls.

Dude needs to lay off, seriously.

[mandy4ever69420]

what do you think about gallavich having kids

well they both seem to really like kids so i ignore my automatic flinch reaction to the corniness of "tv couple has kids" because its not out of character. you know, it's a stated goal of a nice man. i think it'd be nice for them. certainly not til they're in their 30s at least though Sorry Ian one apartment does not a family ready man make

like obviously the whole yevgeny thing would have to be reckoned with like mickey as a man who likes kids + did not want that child but grew fond of him anyway + was forcibly separated for years by incarceration* and not a single aspect of that is conductive to a good emotional response to just having another one. i don't know necessarily that reconnecting is necessary (as opposed to just, noticing and dealing with how it feels) though i think it'd be nice, maybe to have mickey a sort of more distant family figure for yevgeny - i don't think svetlana would allow yevgeny to live in a way that his needs weren't being met AND i think jumping back into being fully involved would probably freak mickey out

as much as i enjoyed their new apartment i think it's a little sad that they don't live with a couple family members anymore (for now) because i think being able to be close with siblings' kids would be really good for ^^ all that - also it's just safer for kids to have a larger support system than just their parents

there are unfortunately also not a lot of ethical ways for a gay couple to GET a kid... i don't have all the sources, i'd have to ask to get a better explanation, but adoption and surrogacy are both highly flawed systems that often mislead and exploit birth parents. annoyingly enough the most ethical idea presented was probably the "you want me banging your sister??" (IVF exists btw mickey. no you do not have to bang his sister in this scenario) exchange because they know debbie and she'd be able and definitely determined to be involved in the life of any hypothetical child. BUT STILL - even beyond that they'd need to be sure she wanted to be involved, id say it'd be important to know she already wanted another kid. like BEFORE saying anything. pregnancy is a potentially dangerous and traumatic process that it's really not fair to ask of someone!

shameless itself within the show briefly referenced the problems with adoption and surrogacy both - in how objectively horrifying some of the people karen talked to were, in how horribly unfair it would've been to separate v's mom from her child with kevin, in those men who wanted to adopt liam and carl with no concern for their existing family who loved them.

thinking about ian and mickey having kids inevitably leads me also into the philosophy of the "nuclear family" which is just in general not a great setup anyway... having more support and more regular contact with trustworthy loving adults is always healthier for a child. having only 2 people be in control of your whole life + whom you rely on for everything carries more potential for abuse or just flat-out overwhelming the parents. so being in a wider family network is probably not what ian is picturing but if i could email him i'd recommend it wholeheartedly

*and probably not knowing where svetlana is. i assume she gave up hope that mickey would care because they're both such "show by doing" ass bitches which is IMPOSSIBLE to do from inside prison. so he can't express his care for a child he's grown attached to and she can't see him care for her son -> she feels heartbroken and doesn't want her son to grow up around a man who "doesn't care" -> she cuts off contact, leaves the area, refuses to discuss mickey. all speculative

[youngpettyqueen]

“I told you not to get lost in the wild” and “Give that man a healthier outlet”.

oh hello anon!! ty for the interest <3

"i told you not to get lost in the wild"

this is my post-The Best of Enemies fic because the end of that episode makes me scream and I need someone to fucking hold Hawkeye for a solid 3 hours

this one's short, angsty, and sweet. BJ and Charles are gonna see Hawkeye's in a State and immediately do their best to figure out what happened, take care of him, that sort of thing. this is a very very self-indulgent one because again. just need Hawkeye to be held

ive posted quite a bit of what little I have written for this fic but here's what the summary's gonna be - "Hawkeye's hands are covered in blood."

"give that man a healthier outlet"

this idea came to me extremely impulsively while I was talking to @onekisstotakewithme the other day so I literally have NOTHING written for this but the premise is that BJ gets Mulcahy to teach him boxing

I got the idea because I was going on a tangent about how BJ hits the speed bag completely wrong and thats why it breaks, and then I thought about him maybe going back to Mulcahy, and then I thought well. BJ certainly could go back to Mulcahy after the events of Period of Adjustment, seeking an outlet for his anger because he never wants to hit someone like he hit Hawkeye ever again, and Mulcahy of course obliges and starts coaching him

this is some projection I will admit! I do kickboxing workouts multiple times a week and thats my main outlet, and as someone who relates to BJ a Lot, I thought it might be interesting to explore him doing it. this is also to explore BJ as a character, dig into his anger, because I dont buy into him being this super repressed guy but I do think he should have a healthy outlet, and I think boxing, even just on bags/practice with Mulcahy, would be a good outlet for him. also, I think it'd be fun to explore Mulcahy as a character, let him and BJ relate to each other and deepen their friendship, which is very very sweet sometimes and I wish we got more of it

this one will be a one shot, but longer, spanning across a longer timeline. think like my first fic, carry you, carry me. it'll be a lot of character exploration, a good dose of angst, hurt/comfort, but also some silliness and laughs

[neon-lights-stardust-nights]

How about 🔪 and 💌 for Luxord?

First things you do when you wake up before Splatfest (apparently)

Brush your teeth

Drink some water

Play Turf Wars so you're ready for when 7 hits

Think F/O thoughts for the strength to bring your team to victory

[meme]

🔪 || How far would they go if they ever feel jealous of someone? What would they do to deal with those feelings? + Luxord

Oooo, I feel like he's the kind of guy you don't expect jealousy of. Less that he isn't a jealous type, and more that he's just laid back enough you think it'd be a bygones be bygones situation. I mean, you're on this blog, so you're wrong--but this imaginary "you" I'm talking about sure did figure so!

He's a bit healthier than the F/Os who jump straight to murder (staring directly into the souls of Strange, Terry, and a slew of others,) but that doesn't make him too much better. Luxord would probbaly prefer to engross himself in games as a way to get his head out of it, but c'mon! This is yandere Luxord we're talking about! It doesn't work forever!

He mostly enjoys humiliating the target of his jealousy. Yvan/Xavyn gets to win a game every now and then, and is sort of in awe of Luxord when he does things like play cards. An absolutely humiliating defeat where Luxord was cheating harder than the antagonists in Kakegurui is thoroughly on the table. He won't kill them, but he'll make them wanna crawl in a hole and disappear all on their own.

Though, that does raise the question of how you define the act of "killing them." If they're a serious rival, and not someone he can cope with sharing faer with (Xigbar/Luxord/Xavyn is very common around here,) then he does resort to meaner means (heh, get it?)

I mean, sometimes people react to harassment in horrid ways, anonymous or otherwise.

Isn't it fucked up, the shit that keeps being sent to them?

And seriously, they just can't catch a break. Even a card game offered to get them away from it blew up so royally in their face. Luxord can't even let them win.

Everything seems to be going wrong, and they don't even realize Luxord's been behind the scenes making sure it would.

If they skip town, that's fine by him. If they give the concrete a big ol' smooch, that's also fine. So long as they're gone!

Whoa this is longer and darker than I expected it to be. The fuck do Turf War wins do to a man.

[surohsopsisofclouds]

hiiii i did think of some questions about your art piece if you don't mind answering! also feel free to not answer or basically do whatever you want tbh

did you use any refrences for the poses? and how did you choose the poses (with or without refrences)

who (specifically, if you don't mind me asking) do the colors represent?

also does the font/handwriting style represent anything?

(also the vent art you did a couple days ago about people just kinda being mad in your general vicinity is so real and it sucks that it happened to you)

Thanks for asking! I love a chance to ramble <3

1. Nope! We don't use pose references super often, though we do spend time studying poses occasionally. We chose them based on vibes, tried to go with poses that would get the feel of how we were in those times across, you know?

Highschool -> subconsciously hiding from people & then towards the end closing ourself off from a lot of people. (did... not really realize we were traumatized at that point in time. When hindsight hit us it hit us with a BAT)

Just Moved Out -> Had just had some of the worst 4 months of our life + just moved out & had A Lot to learn about adult life, so we were super stressed and jittery while trying to cheer ourselves on through it and actually figure out who we wanted to be. (still kind of a doormat, but a self-aware one that was trying to change)

2024 -> More settled in our skin, more familiar with adult life with fewer Immediate problems to solve, and a better relationship with our immediate family, a lot more relaxed with healthier coping mechanisms even if there's still a lot to be stressed over. (successfully far less of a doormat, reveling in how far we've come)

2. The colors represent as follows! Dark Blue = Moon, Yellow = Sun, Light Pink = Estrellum, Green = Dream, and Blue = Remy!

Just Moved Out also has tints of Sun's colors in them, to show that towards the end of that whole era Remy stepped down as temp-host and Sun reclaimed her title as host. I think it was earlier this year/late last year that Moon also reclaimed heir title? Bringing us back to the original two hosts after about 3 years break for them!

3. The font/handwriting didn't represent much when we were drawing, mostly just the handwriting styles of each host, but if I were to ascribe any meaning to them it'd be:

High school: We had a bad habit of always putting way more effort into everything than we needed to, that included our handwriting/writing in general! We got bad anxiety even just from small accidental typos or improper grammar.

Just Moved Out: We noticed that habit and started trying to break away from it. Baby steps and purposefully mistyping things occasionally were key! It honestly helps that some of our littles have a hard time typing, it added a positive association with messing up!

2024: We've successfully broken the habit! To the point where sometimes we won't even notice we messed up a word till we already sent it, and even then we'll just shrug it off instead of worrying over it!

(also thanks for the sympathy on that /gen, it means a lot. sometimes art's a good way to work through that stuff, you know?)

[shininginyourlight]

"Sounds more like guessing work than detective work," Kaito was quick to complain, "I don't even really eat berries regularly."

"And I do?"

"Exactly. If anyone would be able to guess them, it'd be Saori-chan."

Yagami shrugged his shoulders. He took the bottle that was offered to him, then unscrewed the cap. Of course, his first move was to smell it.

...Yep. Definitely pretty nondescript berries. Trying to peer into the bottle, the color of it wasn't overly obvious. Then again, the color didn't always mean too much. Finally, though, he'd take a sip from it.

Definitely not as bad as it could've been, but it was a little bitter, too. Had to make it on the healthier side, so likely not too much added sugar. He passed it off to Kaito.

"I've got my guess."

"Not gonna say it?"

"Hell no. You'll cheat."

"Cheat?! Who said I'm playin'?"

"Sugiura said "detectives," that means you, too, y'know."

"What kinda berries even are there?!"

"Figure it out, detective," Yagami taunted. Kaito huffed out in annoyance, but started following the same steps as his partner. Sniff, stare, and taste.

"Uh... straw...berries? And... uh... blackberries? --Blueberries!"

"That your guess?"

"Yeah! Don't cheat, Tak."

"I'm not totally sure myself, really. But my guess is a mix of strawberries, raspberries, and blueberries." Plucking the bottle out from Kaito's grasp, he handed it back over to Sugiura. "And the verdict?"

The thought of that brightly coloured Neon penicillin mildly put Sugiura off for the moment, but as his companions googled the answer, he simply dared to taste a small sip. It was... almost like a milkshake, he supposed - - though the flavour was definitely miscellaneous berries. Even after a second sip he couldn't quite place which ones they might have used to make it;

"Yeah it's definitely mystery berries." He uttered, deciding to slowly pace into the lounge so to offer the bottle to his companions to taste; maybe the medication was messing with his sense of taste, perhaps he just wasn't getting the whole picture because of side effects.

"Alright, detectives- challenge time; tell me what's berries are in that without looking at the label."