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idontknowreallywhy · 11 months ago

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Estera - Ch 30 - Introduce

It’s been a while… nearly a fortnight, but they’re back ;)

What went before

I struggled with this one, dunno why, but most of the good ideas and one-liners are down to @sofasurf! So much so I’m tagging her in for the next one.

This chapter is 100% silly friends being silly and daft brothers being daft because everyone needs to let their hair down once in a while… And they need a break before anything else falls on anyone…

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…

The three “your contact is typing�� dots bounced for a while then stopped. Then bounced again. Then stopped.

She put the phone down and continued to make breakfast but within moments picked it up again, intrigued. What was he taking so long to write?

…

How’s your day?

…

Did you know stress balls are not actually indestructible???

Um, yeah - I’m a primary school teacher. That’s basically day 1 of training.

Huh.

I sense there is a story behind this… sharing is caring you know?

THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE INDESTRUCTIBLE!

O….K…. Imagine me saying generic reassuring things and patting you on the shoulder.

My shoulder is covered in stress ball goop. But thank you, that weirdly helps.

🤭 oh dear… that stuff is a beast to wash out

Well there’s another Italian tailor I have to avoid for the rest of my life…

Not again!

I have glitter in my hair 😭

I’m sure it looks beautiful. I’ll ask one of your brothers to send me a photo.

I’m not getting out the shower until it’s gone.

You will literally starve to death.

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So today I had to confiscate an action figure which had Alan’s head, John’s torso and your limbs. Should I be concerned about these children?

That’s… horrifying. I’m never coming back to the UK. 😲

They all say hi by the way.

I’m too scared to say hi back to them now 😬

On the topic of the action figures…

Yes?

I have to know - what WAS wrong with Gordon’s novelty action figure of you? You never told me…

You don’t want to know.

Oh I really really do.

…

Oh go on, I’ll only be imagining worse.

…

The figure was making pancakes while wearing a frilly blue “Kiss The Chef” apron.

That doesn’t seem so bad?

Only the apron.

Oh my… 🤣

Speak of this to no-one.

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Hey Estera, got any plans this evening?

Aside from vegging out with Bez and watching Celebrity Alligator Wrestling?

I mean I wouldn’t want to tear you away from that…

I could be persuaded… :)

Well, we happen to be in Europe right now (John had a thing) and Penny is visiting some Earl near Exeter and suggested we pop by and go out for a drink.

John’s not Earthside very often so she takes whatever chances she can get to catch up with him (they are old college friends, did I ever mention that?)

ANYWAY as it’s not far from you I wondered whether you might like to join us?

Oh wow thank you that’s very kind of you to think of me! It would be lovely to meet John and Lady Penelope if you’re sure I wouldn’t be intruding?

Of course not!

Virgil is with us too and says you have to come because he’s already bored with mine and John’s company.

Ok, I must now tell you that he did not in fact use those exact words.

Or to say that.

Apparently I am maddening.

Hi Estera, it’s Virgil. Please ignore what my idiot brother is saying. It would be lovely to see you if you’d like to come but please don’t feel any pressure.

Girjebvaxbnnnnn&&&&&&&

It’s Scott again, I’ve retrieved my comm. Sorry about my annoying TINY LITTLE BABY sibling who snatches things that aren’t his.

😂 I think I’m sold. I can get to Exeter in an hour? Where and when should I meet you?

John says the place is near the Cathedral - send a message when you get there and I’ll come and find you?

Fab! Ok I shall do that.

Ha!

What?

F-A-B is kind of a thing for us.

Oh! Oh I should have known that!

Reuben and Alex refuse to use any other affirmative words.

Why though?

Long story, tell you later maybe.

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Estera rounded the corner of the cathedral and yelped as a strong gust nearly ripped her arm off in its determination to steal her umbrella. She wrestled it back and ducked into the shelter of the huge doorway only to conclude she should have let the wind take it as it was no longer any use to anyone other than as an art piece. “Mangled: A study in nylon and flimsy aluminium” perhaps. She tucked it under her arm and pulled out her phone:

Hi! I’m on The Green :) Don’t worry about coming out in all this, just let me know where you are and I’ll find you.

On my way!

Scott! It’s chucking it down! Just give me directions or somewhere to aim for.

I like the rain!

You’re a nutter.

A what?

… err British for ‘totally normal and rational’.

OK I will take your word for that and begin using ‘nutter’ regularly in a professional context.

Um… sure. I see no issues arising there.

😝 alright then

I think I see you!

She looked up and laughed as she spotted a lanky figure silhouetted against a streetlamp waving enthusiastically from across the green. She raised her arm in greeting, pulled her hood tighter around her face and then jogged towards him. She started out dodging the huge puddles with strictly limited success then gave up in favour of a direct route, swerving off course just the once to dump the useless brolly in a waste bin.

As soggy as she felt she was by the time their paths met, she wasn’t a patch on the drowned-but-grinning rat bouncing gently on his toes before her, hair plastered to his forehead and shirt clinging to him in a way she was relieved Barbara the receptionist couldn’t see.

Wait, shirt?

“Scott! I KNOW you own a coat.”

He waved a hand dismissively. “It always takes so long to dry the thing out. Cotton is fast.”

“Aren’t you freezing?”

“Nope!” He grinned and produced an umbrella with a flourish, pressing a button to automatically extend and open it and then raising it over her head in one smooth motion. The little squeak he emitted as he did so was anything but smooth however.

“Did I just hear an excited giggle from Mr Commander Tracy?”

“Also nope. Definitely not. Unrelatedly aren’t these just-press-the-button-and-SWOOSH-it’s-an-umbrella umbrellas just the best kind of umbrellas?”

Estera raised an eyebrow and wondered with amusement how many drinks he’d managed to put away already. “Certainly beats mine which I just ditched back there…” she looked at him smiling down at her from very much outside the umbrella’s zone of protection, water streaming down his face “although, given you have such a swanky brolly why did you not actually use it?”

“I told you, I like the rain.”

Estera raised an eyebrow. “Well, you’d do well living here then, we get a lot of it.” Shuddering slightly she shook water out of her sleeve. “Shall we get where we’re going before we grow gills?”

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“He’s going to get absolutely soaked isn’t he?”

Virgil watched his elder brother stroll casually towards the doorway and then launch himself out into the rain like an excited puppy. He couldn’t help smiling fondly.

“You know what he’s like about rain, John. Anyway the wet shirt look isn’t going to do him any harm is it…?”

“VIRGIL! Honestly you’re impossible.” John’s facepalm was a masterpiece.

“Well, before he brings this young lady back, somebody had best update me on what, exactly, we believe her status is.”

“Virgil is convinced they are an item. Scott denies it.”

“I didn’t say that. I just think she’s good for him. He is happy. I like that. So I’m inclined to like her. And if we’re about to meet our future sister-in-law that’s fine by me.”

Penelope chuckled, Virgil the hopeless romantic was certainly living up to expectation. John was frowning slightly however and that intrigued her.

“What do you think, John darling?”

“I’m interested in what has him so… interested. They seem to spend a lot of time talking, yet all I can see they have in common is shared trauma and an unhealthy approach to adrenaline.”

“That is more than many people have when beginning a friendship, John. That doesn’t mean it is all there will ever be. Look at you and I, all we had in common was the inability to escape the weight of our surnames and yet we’ve had some superb times.”

John smiled and raised his lemonade in a silent toast.

“Well, I’m excited” Virgil commented. “Let’s not scare her by being too… you know.” he gestured vaguely.

“Excellent social etiquette tip, there, thank you Virgil.” his brother muttered.

Penelope smiled into her cocktail. This was going to be an interesting evening.

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“You ok?”

Estera had slowed almost imperceptibly as they approached the door to the boutique pub Penny had selected and Scott paused as they reached the shelter of the porch, his hand resting on the heavy oak door.

“Yes! Uh, a little nervous I guess? Last time I spoke to John I was… rather embarrassing.”

“Aww, no you weren’t. You were just worried about me and that’ll go in your favour I promise. It’s pretty much a family pastime from what I can make out…” he pulled an exaggerated grimace and got a little smile in response.

“I can imagine.” She appeared to be steeling herself.

“They don’t bite, I promise. But…” he touched her shoulder lightly and ducked down a little to look her in the eye “if you’d rather not… we could go somewhere else and I can catch up with them later?”

“Oh goodness no. I’m looking forward to it. Honestly, I am! Let’s go inside, it’s freezing out here.”

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“Hey look, John, Estera found a drowned puppy!”

“Goodness, doesn’t it look tragic?”

Penelope leaned backwards away from Scott as he responded to his brothers’ banter by shaking himself like a dog and showering the table with droplets from his hair before wringing his sleeve out down the back of Virgil’s collar who himself yelped like Sherbet in a snowdrift.

“Right for that you’re buying the next round big brother.”

“And this is novel, how?”

His friend hung back a little, watching the interaction with a mixture of amusement and mild confusion. Penelope gestured to Estera to take a seat beside her and cut across the brotherly jibing:

“Might it be an appropriate moment to introduce us Scott?”

The supposedly eldest and most mature of the pack looked up from where he’d flung his arms around John’s neck in what was clearly a weaponised soggy hug and smiled impishly before moving over and crouching down next to Estera’s chair.

“Estera, this is Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward - she is as lovely as she is fabulous and I’m sure you’ll get along.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that for a moment. And please call me Penny!”

Estera smiled and offered a hand which Penny grasped with both of hers and gave her a conspiratorial wink.

Scott cleared his throat importantly “Next, I am delighted to present for your approval Annoying-Little-Brother-One who also goes by don’t-call-me-Johnny”

“Ha. Ha. Scooter. It’s a pleasure to meet you in person, Estera, although why you are wasting your time in the company of this absolute fool I cannot fathom.”

“And last but very much not least, either in importance or sheer bulk, here is Annoying-Little-Brother-Two who we refer to as short-stuff, the-tank, care-bear or, occasionally, Virgil”

Virgil leaned across the table to shake her hand. “You do realise what an insufferable creature our eldest brother is don’t you?”

“Oh yes, spotted that one straight away.”

Scott clutched his chest and gasped “I am hurt! A plague o’ both houses! I am sped!” before collapsing on to his back with melodramatic flailing and a range of choking noises before lying still with his tongue lolling and eyes rolled back.

Penelope giggled delicately while Estera tutted and rolled her eyes.

“You still have a couple of paragraphs of monologue before you’re allowed to expire, Mercutio. C+ must try harder.”

Scott pouted while John held up his hand for a high five.

Penelope caught Virgil’s eye and he grinned.

“Death doesn’t get you out of your round big bro. Get your soggy butt off the floor and over to the bar while we fill Estera in on some key anecdotes.”

Scott’s expression of dread wasn’t melodrama at all.

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Chapter 31…

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #idontknowreallywhy fanfic #tb estera #estera #Scott Tracy #Virgil Tracy #John Tracy #lady penelope #Scott Tracy needs a friend #umbrellas are cool #Shameless cross referencing to other fic

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seeyouafter · 1 year ago

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SYA Extended Notes Ch. 15

Notes for "See You After" Chapter 15: Katsuki's Recent Messages: May 30-June 24

It's been a while since I've done one of these. Part of the reason is that even though some pretty big emotional beats happened (including the reason I gave up on keeping the fic canon compliant), I do want the story to speak for itself.

For the most recent chapter though, I wanted to give some additional insight on the text convos and the corresponding letters that they connect with.

(This was mainly for my own reference because I had so many notes in my draft document while writing to make sure the dates made sense so I figured I'd share them in case anyone else was interested.)

Also, scroll to the very end for thoughts on the content of Uraraka's texts.

Tues. May 30: Bakusquad visit mentioned in Ch. 4 (Katsuki's letter on 5/31)

I wrote the letter referencing their visit before I knew I was going to add texting into the fic but I think the main thing I wanted to do with this day's texts (other than introducing the format) was to have Jirou "officially" join the Bakusquad because I love her and I think her dynamic with Katsuki (and the rest of the group) is a lot of fun to see.

Sun. June 4: Most of Class 1-A returns to the work study assignments, referenced in Ch. 8 (Katsuki's letter on 6/8)

We already saw Katsuki's (and Shouto's) struggling with not being able to do anything in the aftermath, but I think the others would also have some complicated feelings about being back.

Thur. June 8: Conversation about the manga Sero lent Katsuki, which was referenced in the letters in Ch. 6-8

I didn't intend to have this be a recurring topic but it did present a good opportunity to bring up Shouto naturally in the conversation. Of course, the rest of the class is worried about him too, and are trying to reach out even though he's still not responding to them.

Sat. June 10: The Tribute to Fallen Heroes broadcast mentioned in the news article in Ch. 9 and again in Katsuki's letter on 6/16 after finding out about Edgeshot.

While canon could very well go the route of a "perfect win" for the heroes, I think it makes more sense that there would be a significant number of heroes lost, considering the fact that they lost Midnight and several others during the PLF war arc and this battle is supposed to be even higher stakes.

Also, Jirou pointing out that it's a miracle they all survived...is that a little too meta?

Tues. June 13: Updated Hero Rankings article This wasn't directly referenced in the letters, but the date of this article and text thread was the same day as Katsuki's letter in Ch. 11.

My thought is that Katsuki had already written his response to Shouto's previous letter but before he sent it, he saw the article, which prompted the additional letter to Endeavor.

Also, it might seem questionable that Endeavor is still Number One, but in my mind, all the HPSC did was remove the names of heroes who were no longer active and everyone remaining just moved up accordingly, the way they did after All Might's retirement.

Fri. June 16: This is the day Katsuki found out about Edgeshot and wrote the letter in Ch. 13.

The rest of the texts speak for themselves, but I wanted to comment on Uraraka's texts:

It might seem a little strange that she texted Katsuki and that he actually replied but in my mind, even though they're not that close compared with their other classmates, they've had a mutual respect for each other ever since the sports festival. Also, Ochako is canonically very empathetic and it would make sense to reach out to him because one of her main things has always been "who will save the heroes when they're hurting?"

If you look closely at the timestamps on the texts, she did talk to Izuku before his final text with Katsuki in this chapter, after Katsuki told her to tell Izuku to leave him alone. (I spent wayyyy too much time cross-referencing things in some of these sections)

Also, Toga being alive is not just a throwaway line. Whether or not she survives in canon, she is alive in this universe and although it won't be a main focus, it will be important. (it's not tochako though, sorry. I think it can be a cute ship but that's just not where this is going.)

#sya extended notes #sya: letters #see you after fic #dancing girl writes

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ailendolin · 2 years ago

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5 things you never get tired of writing

Tagged by: @professorlehnsherr-almashy 💙

Rules: List five things you never get tired of writing. It can be tropes, themes, characters, phrases, whatever brings you joy. Then tag more writers!

1 - Hurt/Comfort

I think everyone knows by now that this is one of my favourite genres. It's not so much the hurt that draws me to it but the comfort because it often allows the story to end on a hopeful note. Some lovely readers have commented before that reading my fics can feel like being wrapped up in a warm blanket, and I think that describes what I'm aiming for when I write h/c pretty well. I want my stories to be something people can turn to when they have a bad day and are in need of some comfort themselves. If just one of them makes someone smile and feel better then all the time and work that has gone into it will have been worth it.

2 - Small gestures

This goes hand in hand with the above because I love using meaningful / understated gestures as a form of comfort in my fics. My first drafts tend to be a bit self-indulgent when it comes to overtly emotional gestures so I often replace those with something simpler during the editing process: a gentle touch to someone's hand, shoulders brushing against each other, a head resting on someone's shoulder, a heartfelt hug. I find it adds a bit more realism and sometimes even tugs harder at the heartstrings than a kiss would.

3 - Adding something personal

This is purely self-indulgent but I love writing little things into my stories that hold personal meaning. For example, in my Singing Club verse Thomas loves sea shanties because I'm a big fan (and because I figured he might have heard this kind of music on his travels and probably liked the songs about sailors pining for the loves they left behind). I also sometimes draw from personal experiences and include that in my fics (most notable in my Jurassic Park III stories). What I love the most about doing this is that readers won't notice these little personal details I include here and there but I will, and they always make me smile.

4 - Missing Scenes

Expanding on canon will always be my favourite thing when it comes to writing. I know people like their coffee shop AUs and whatnot but I've always been more interested in filling in the blanks and building stories around throwaway lines - canon worldbuilding, essentially. I love coming up with my own versions of what might happen next or what might have happened before, and I love getting into characters' heads and figuring out why they did x in a scene.

5 - Songs

After playing music for decades, I started writing and composing my own songs two or three years ago and have now a list of 30 songs I can call my own, 10 of which have been inspired by Ghosts. It's been such a joy to channel my creativity in that way, and while I know I still have a lot to learn, I can already tell I've made some progress in that short time, especially when it comes to figuring out my own style. I can't wait to see what songs the future will hold for me, and maybe one day I'll feel confident and comfortable enough to share them with the world.

Tagging @magicaltear @ginevralinton @unusual-ly @viola-halogen but as always no pressure 💙

#tag game #personal #writing

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gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot · 1 year ago

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Ok, this is really gonna be a ridiculous one, but I'll give it a shot.

Imagine all your OCs meeting in some secluded place. They don't know what mystical power brought them together, they don't understand entirely, what is going on. They just try to figure out, what's going on.

Give them a room to have a small talk. Who would hit it right away with others? Who would like to remain silent? Who would have fun, who would be frightened? What would these characters tell to their friends/beloved ones, after they experience such a meeting? How would the meeting affect them? You can hide their real names behind numbers (like '#1 said to #4...'), if you don't want to share too much information.

Well, it would either be a bloody rave or a bloody crime scene, honestly... I have a lot of OCs but I'll mention the ones I like/use the most

Michelle of Cameron: Brujah (Vampire the Masquerade), Scottish, 823 years old (19 when she was converted). She's a joy to be around, so she'd be mingling and getting along right away with everyone who would be willing to talk to her. She'd tell EVERYTHING to her husband Yusuf (Assamite, Persian, 2545 years old, 27 when converted) about her new 'friends' and he'd freak out and grumble about 'magic' and 'fucking mages and supernatural shit'. She'd also tell everything to her adoptive father Aristos (Brujah, Spartan, 2503 years old, 35 when converted), and he'd take it more indulgently, listening to her kindly, but innerly would be just as alarmed.

Rhea Frost: Elf (Shadowrun), 30. She'd keep to her corner, a hand over her gun and just observe, scanning everyone with her eye implant. She'd answer when spoken to, and she'd even crack a tense smile, but she doesn't trust anyone (in her line of work that'd be a mistake) and would just keep to herself and wait for this strange supernatural happening to finally end so she can go back to her job protecting her boss (and secret husband). She'd tell him of course and Yireiwuchi-san (vampire, age unknown) would just meditate about it.

Calliara Viento de Escarcha: D&D, half-elf, ranger, 25. She'd make instant besties with Michelle, excitedly trying to befriend the rest of them, but Michelle would be the more open to chat of anything and everything. She only has her wolf companion to talk about it, and her god (Solondor Thelandira), but she might mention the meeting to a couple of her lovers (she's polyamorous) as a curiosity.

Eira Karanir and Freyja Greywolf: Nords, cousins, Dragonborns (Skyrim). While Freyja would keep to herself, on the opposite corner to Rhea just in case, Eira although timid would be open to make conversation. They are no strangers to elves or vampires, but the modern weapons of Rhea and Riot would baffle them and make them ask if it's 'dwemer' technology. They'd comment their strange encounter to their companions once back, but they find so many uncanny things every day that they are rarely surprised by anything.

Sgt. Christine 'Riot' Vega: COD OC, almost 29. She'd innerly be freaking out, surrounded by a (very nice, incredibly beautiful and sweet) 800+ year old VAMPIRE, an almost 2 meter tall ELF with cybernetics and futuristic weapons, another (smaller, with impossibly white hair) ELF, well she says she's 'only' half elf, and two seemingly normal human young women but that say they can tear things apart using their voice. She'd be nice enough to keep a conversation going if asked something, but she'd keep her distance and wonder what the fuck was in Soap's latest concoction. She of course would keep everything to herself, deeming it a bad trip.

#i love asks #thanks for the ask!#ask game #my ocs #ocs #original characters #my characters

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spaceopinions · 2 years ago

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Zodiac LTM Rankings (#1)

A friend and I were talking about which zodiac signs we would successfully be able to spend a whole day with and I thought it was funny. So here’s my list.

BASED ON SUN SIGNS ONLY. (And yes, this list is incredibly biased)

Time I would spend with the signs: least to most 👇

11/12 - Virgo/Cancer

10 - Capricorn

8/9 - Libra/Scorpio

7. Leo

6. Taurus

5. Gemini

4. Aries

3. Sag

2. Pisces

1. Aqua

11/12). Virgo/Cancer

Amount of time I could spend with them: 30 minutes (if held at gun point)

bro. These people complain, complain, COMPLAIN. It’s too hot, it’s too cold, the vibe is off, it’s boring, it’s too loud, it’s too quiet, big or small IT NEVER ENDSSSSS.

Yes, you share a sun sign with Beyoncé, Michael Jackson, Ariana Grande, etc. But you are not them, beloved.

You are an average citizen working a job that you hate, yet somehow justify it because of the money or because “they wouldn’t know what to do if I quit”. I’ll tell you what they would do babes — hire your replacement. Speaking of work, thats literally all they talk about. (Depending on other placements) very one-dimensional people.

Always about the problems at work, or at home, or in their love life (they cheated before yes they’ll probably do it again). And normally that wouldn’t be an issue, what are friends for if not to listen to you vent? The issues is that they CAN NEVER RECIPROCATE. You could tell them a family member has a deadly disease and they wouldn’t offer more than an “oh, I’m sorry to hear that. But yeah can you believe my boss wouldn’t let me take the day off?”. Will always find some way to minimize what happened to you. Also, will always want you to dislike the people who have wronged them, but will remain oddly neutral towards those who have wronged you. But again, your problems aren’t as important.

And before someone goes “omg no that’s not true cancer is the sign of the mother, cancer is super caring la-di-dah”. Cancer is a cardinal sign, they are inherently selfish. Cancers are the most “emotional” when something affects THEM. And Virgos… I don’t think they need further explaining. Delusional as Pisces without the entertainment factor.

Only positive is that they will most likely feed you and most likely pay for it. IF you can tolerate them bringing it up for the rest of your life afterwards. Personally, I’d rather starve.

10). Capricorn

Amount of time I could spend with them: 1 - 2hrs. If we’re working on a project together (where they will inevitably takeover)

Represented by The Devil in tarot… need I say more?

No, but seriously. This is a sun sign that needs other fun placements in the chart. Otherwise, you might as well find a dirt road, pick up a rock, and bring it to lunch with you. 10/10 guarantee the conversation will be more interesting.

In my experience Capricorn’s always have this “secret side” to them but aren’t interesting enough for you to want to figure it out. They think they are more eye-catching than they actually are.

Will always repost quotes on social media saying stupid shit like “money on my mind I can’t do nothing else 💯” or “it’s always lonely at the ��” or “moving in silence never let them know your next move 🤫” (if you’re announcing your moves then you’re not being silent, dingbat) I always say they’re like Scorpios without the charm or the intrigue.

They might be your boss. They might be your neighbor. They might be that teacher you had in grade school that would never give you an extra pen even though they had a desk full. They’re everywhere, just not remarkable or noteworthy.

8/9). Scorpio/Libra

Amount of time I could spend with them: the length of a part-time shift if we were coworkers and 3 hrs. max otherwise

These two are tied simply because I didn’t feel like putting too much brain power into deciding which I actually liked best.

Some pros are that these people are down for an adventure (planned or spontaneous) and can actually be loyal friends when they feel like it. I have some great memories with individuals with these sun signs. They tend to say things that will stick with you.

Here’s the problem. Scorpios can be too spiteful, obsessed with being a “lone wolf”, and just borderline pathetic. While Libras are hypocritical yet judgmental; and very, very annoying when in a relationship.

Like I said, Scorpios are fun at first. When you’re just getting to know each other it’s like they’re down for anything. Until that fixed energy comes out to play and they get too comfortable. Unlike Sag’s, who get jealous of their inner circle, I notice Scorpios tend to get jealous of others who they aren’t super close too (or at least they’re smart enough to hide it).

The problem is that it’s exhausting to listen to someone shit talk all the time, tbh. About strangers and about people we know. Like yeah, your ex moved on after you had an amicable split 3 years ago. No, I’m not going to pop any tires with you. Gotta let it go. And then, in that scenario, when you decline to go with them. They get into this “nobody is there for me” or “Born alone, die alone” energy. They do not like when you disagree with them and I’m not a yes man, unfortunately. They are vengeful and never wrong. Even if they slapped you in the face, they’ll justify it. “Well why did you do xyz to make me hit you?” Yknow, classic water sign manipulation.

And with Libras, it’s a tale as old as time. They also love talking about other people way too much. And the funniest part is that usually they’re doing the exact same thing but in a different font.

For example, a Libra making minimum wage working in retail will make fun of another person working minimum wage but in fast food. Like idk how to break it to you hunny but…. LMAO. You are not giving Zuckerberg or Bill Gates. Also, respect all people who get off their ass everyday and make it happen. Doesn’t matter what job you have.

OR I had a Libra friend that used to talk shit about college (with multiple friends in school) saying it’s useless and not worth the debt etc., which is cool you’re allowed to have your opinion on it, yet got themselves into $30k+ credit card debt for shopping. You payed a tuition price with nothing to show for it. Used to piss me off so bad. But anyways, yeah, hypocrites.

Also cut us off because of a boyfriend and would only speak to us when they fought but that’s typical Libra behavior, moving on.

7.) Leo

Amount of time I could spend with them: have to test it out, will bring AirPods with noise cancellation just in case

I’ve never been close to a Leo so this is a very distant perspective, but they seem like good surface-value friends. Nice to dress up with, go out, get drinks, do something fun. Talk more than Geminis (quite a feat). But other than that, ehhh.

They also get jealous fast, friendships and otherwise. Leo’s love taking that “king of the jungle” shit seriously. And while I love that for them, we’re not in a Disney movie, this isn’t Pride Rock and you are not the boss. Don’t like to be reminded they aren’t in charge and will throw a tantrum.

Also, never as independent as they like to seem. Someone is always behind the scenes when it comes to them. Another sign that tries to be “secretive and mysterious” but is somehow always shouting their business from the rooftops at the same time.

If I have them on social media, their accounts are most likely muted. (Thanks Instagram!)

6.) Taurus

Amount of time I could spend with them: majorly depends on placements. On average, I’ll say a full-time shift if we’re coworkers or 5 hrs. in everyday life

Taurus’ are simple people. Compared to the chaos of the previous signs it’s like a breath of fresh air.

They will definitely get snacks or food with you. Will run simple errands with you. Will watch movies with you. If you go out of town, you can give them a key and they’ll feed your pets while you’re away. Good people.

Or they can be the follower type (and no being fixed doesn’t automatically mean you can’t be a follower, idk who told y’all that), can be opportunists when it comes to friends. (Loyal to a point)

For example, normally not flaky but if better plans come up with people they like more, they WILL flake. And I know this because I’ve always been the friend watching them do it to other people. People like to pass Geminis or air signs in general as the “fakest” but thats not true lmao. They definitely can be, but there are other signs that do the same shit. And Taurus is one of ‘em, let’s be fr guys.

Also will cancel plans if they’re just not feeling it anymore, which I respect. Can be annoying though if you do it multiple times. And then get mad people don’t invite you out as much.

Overall, they don’t usually leave a super strong impression. They’re dependable friends, though (if they like you).

5.) Gemini

Amount of time I could spend with them: if it’s the good twin, 8hrs. If it’s the bad twin, ill take the first train to hell, pls.

Ah, if it isn’t the worlds most hated.

I rather like Geminis. Or at least, what Geminis could be. Especially in work/school settings (that is where they flourish after all). Gets shit done. Might be a know it all, and will definitely respect you more if you show you’re as smart as them in someway. If you show you’re worthy.

If they know you’re not the one to fuck with, they’ll leave you alone, for the most part, in favor of someone “weaker/dumber”

Geminis pick their battles. And they will always do it when they think they can get away with it (mind games/gossip/etc.) To add to this, they are extremely observant. They don’t use that skill for good most of the time but they are and don’t ever think they’re not. That’s how they getcha, is by playing dumb.

I once read on some Instagram profile that Gemini isn’t actually based off good/evil, but of the two “jobs” they had in Greek mythology. The messenger, Hermes also doubled as the grim reaper. So not good/evil but playful and social vs. solemn and dutiful. I’m explaining it very bare-bones, but once I looked it at that way I feel like I understood the sign a lot more. Because whether you want to hear it or not, they are one of the most complex signs.

Now don’t get me wrong, they’re not super high on the list for a reason. The Geminis that the internet is always complaining about are very aggravating people. Shit starters, followers, gossips, bullies, overall irritating individuals. Let’s just say most of the ones I have on social media are muted (thank you Instagram!) Because they post their entire lives on there. The very definition of “peaked in high school”

They are entertaining, at the very least. And they don’t care if you’re laughing at them or with them, and I respect that. Also, they know how to keep in touch.

4.) Aries

Amount of time I could spend with them: Sometime after they reflect on a situation that pissed them off for the 100th time but before they start the anger-cry nonsense

I find that Aries can be more loyal than earth signs in friendships. Will fight with you. Your enemies are their enemies. Will get you out the house if you’re a homebody or will stay in with you if you insist. Good friends when they wanna be.

Aries are incredibly selfish though. They are good friends, partners, family members, coworkers, etc. until they just don’t want too anymore.

They are less obvious about it than virgo/cancer, and will at least listen to you vent, but deep down they really don’t see anyone else’s problems as equal to their own. They just don’t.

Also, they secretly think they are better than everyone else in their lives. Not necessarily in a secret jealousy way, more like a stated-fact kind of way.

Like - “Grass is green, water is wet, I’m better than you, the sky is blue “ LMAO no that’s literally how they think I’m not even joking.

I won’t say they’re particularly aggressive, but I always notice they have misplaced anger? Or angry at the wrong time. They’ll get worked up about something that happened 2 years ago, yet won’t confront the person/situation that did it. In my experience, Aries pick their battles too (again, other placements depending). Other than that I’d say they’re pretty calm.

They cannot see when they did wrong, though. They would rather forget about what happened instead of work through it or Yknow, apologize.

3.) Sagiterrorist

Amount of time I could spend with them: Until they piss me off enough that I manage to find a way to enter hell by choice

If you seen my last posts, you should know I much I hate to do this. But I have to be honest here.

Sag’s make great surface level friends. I will never get close to one ever again, placements be damned, but damn do they make great conversation.

I could talk about any random thing with a Sag. Good speakers and good listeners (when they wanna be). Charming, intellectual, attentive, again, when they want to be. The artist Kehlani has an album called “It Was Good Until It Wasn’t” and that is how I would describe any interaction with a Sag

They are transactional friends. When they can’t get what they want from you, they get vengeful. They hate when people outdo them (by their standards) and will bring you down in any way they can. Sometimes by influencing outside opinions on you, all while smiling in your face. Always playing both sides.

If you keep ‘em around, don’t keep ‘em close.

2.) Pisces

Amount of time I could spend with them: depends on the length of their delusions

These people can be first or dead last.

It’s simple, though. Pisces are the most adaptable sign. They can be what you want them to be, for the most part. Stay home friend, go out friend, vacation friend, you name it they’ll do it.

Some of them lack a backbone. Some of them have too much of one. Some of them pretend to have one until the last minute.

And all of them play victim like it’s a video game character. Gets really tiring. It’s just never their fault. (Again, classic water sign)

Inconsistent, unrealistic, and so, so much fun when they’re not being terrible people.

When a Pisces loves you, they will ride or die for you. More so than any other sign Tbh. But on the other side, they will (attempt) to destroy you if they feel wronged (which is usually you setting a boundary that they continuously cross, doesn’t take much for them to feel wronged lmao).

And when I say destroy I don’t mean in the cool, femme fatale, sword fights and gun slinging way. I mean in the petty lies, throw your darkest secrets in your face, kind. Tacky and over dramatic. GOSSIP ALMOST MORE THAN GEMINIS lol. But will throw a compliment in with an insult.

Other than that, Pisces are a sign I can immediately get along with. And I like that they will always check in on you. Will also listen to you vent and very much appreciate when you listen to them, as a lot of people in their lives usually don’t.

1.) Aquarius

Amount of time I could spend with them: a full 24 hours (if I’m feeling patient)

Aquarius are so much fun when they’re not being ridiculous. That’s really all I can say LMAO.

The ones I’ve been super close too I’ve loved dearly, and the ones I wasn’t super close too were still easy to talk too. They’re open minded, quick to take your problems on as their own (if they like you), and will catch up with you in some way whether it’s sending a meme or a TikTok, calling or texting, or seeing you in person. Knows what it means to be a friend.

On the flip side, they can be just too caught up in their world. Every time you hang out it’s on their terms, you eat where they prefer, you go where they wanna go, your opinions aren’t really worth much at times. Selfish.

Some will try to do what you want for once but will be in a mood the whole time which is an instant vibe killer. Aquarius have their own world with their own plans and you either fit into it or you don’t.

I respect that, but much like their Sister sign they have trouble understanding that they are no one’s boss.

Also, some (not ones I’ve been close too but like coworkers/acquaintances I’ve had, etc.) try way too hard to be “different”. Like, don’t get me wrong, I understand Aquarius is the rebel and all that is lovely, but it doesn’t always apply. Like, they go as far as swearing people are copying them even though they’re just copying trends?

You buy trending items off tiktok, you’re obsessed with y2k, or cottage core, or whatever else the internet says to be obsessed with nowadays. You don’t understand fully tarot but you use an app on your phone to “read” for your friends. You think it’s revolutionary when you don’t style your hair. You have an eyebrow piercing and chunky bleached highlights.

Babe. Respectfully, you are no more unique than Sarah, Jim, and Taylor.

All those things are great but you didn’t invent them nor make them popular. Be fr.

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seekfirst-community · 2 years ago

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Meditation: What is God's intention for the commandment, keep holy the Sabbath (Exodus 20:8; Deuteronomy 5:12)? The scribes and Pharisees wanted to catch Jesus in the act of breaking the Sabbath ritual so they might accuse him of breaking God's law. In a few penetrating words Mark the Evangelist records that Jesus looked at them with anger, and grieved at their hardness of hearts (Mark 3:5).

God's purpose and intention for the Sabbath commandment

The legal scholars and religious-minded Jews were filled with fury and contempt for Jesus because they put their own thoughts of right and wrong above God. They were ensnared in their own legalism because they did not understand or see the purpose of God for the Sabbath commandment (remember the Sabbath day - to keep it holy - Exodus 20:8).. Jesus shows their fallacy by pointing to God's intention for the Sabbath: to do good and to save life rather than to do evil or to destroy life (Mark 3:3).

Commemorating Christ's resurrection and work of redemption on the Lord's Day

Since the time of the first Apostles, Christians have traditionally celebrated Sunday as the Lord's Day (Revelation 1:10; Acts 20:7; Luke 24:30; 1 Corinthians 16:1-2) to worship together around the table of the Lord (the Eucharist or Lord's Supper) and to commemorate God's work of redemption in Jesus Christ and the new work of creation accomplished through Christ's death and resurrection.

Taking "our sabbath rest" is a way of expressing honor to God for all that he has done for us in and through Jesus Christ our Lord and Redeemer. Such "rest" however does not exempt us from our love for our neighbor. If we truly love the Lord above all else, then the love of God will overflow to love of neighbor as well. Do you honor the Lord in the way you celebrate Sunday, the Lord's Day and in the way you treat you neighbor?

"Lord Jesus, in your victory over sin and death on the cross and in your resurrection you give us the assurance of sharing in the eternal rest of heaven. Transform my heart with your love that I may freely serve my neighbor for his good and find joy and refreshment in the celebration of Sunday as the Lord's Day."

how we became priests

“You are a priest forever, according to the order of Melchizedek.” — Psalm 110:4; Hebrews 7:17

Like almost all peoples throughout history, the Jewish people believed that sacrifice was one of the essential elements for dealing with sin and setting humanity free (see Lv 4:13-14). The person who offers sacrifices to God on behalf of the people is called a priest. Thus, priests are an essential part of God’s plan of salvation. Consequently, because Jesus is the Savior of the world, He must be a priest. For the Jews, all priests descended from the tribe of Levi. Yet Jesus was from the tribe of Judah. How can Jesus be a priest?

In the book of Genesis, we hear about the priest Melchizedek (Gn 14:18-20). He was a priest before there were the tribes of Israel. He was a mysterious figure “without father, mother or ancestry, without beginning of days or end of life” (Heb 7:3). The psalmist prophesied that Melchizedek’s priesthood would continue (Ps 110:4). The writer of the book of Hebrews proclaimed that Jesus is a priest in the order of Melchizedek. Jesus sacrificed Himself on the altar of the cross. He is truly the Savior of the world, and we who are baptized into Him share in His priesthood (see Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1546;1 Pt 2:9; Rv 5:10). Through our Baptism “in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit” (Mt 28:19), we are priests in the order of Melchizedek. Alleluia!

Prayer: Father, may I live my baptismal priesthood to the full. I offer You my body as a living sacrifice (Rm 12:1).

Promise: “Then He said to the man, ‘Stretch out your hand.’ The man did so and his hand was perfectly restored.” —Mk 3:5

Praise: “May my mouth speak the praise of the Lord, and may all flesh bless His holy name forever and ever” (Ps 145:21).

Reference: (For a related teaching on Developing A Deep, Personal Relationship with Jesus, listen to, download or order our CD 52-1 or DVD 52 on our website.)

Rescript: "In accord with the Code of Canon Law, I hereby grant the Nihil Obstat for the publication One Bread, One Body covering the time period from December 1,2022 through January 31,2023. Reverend Steve J. Angi, Chancellor, Vicar General, Archdiocese of Cincinnati, Cincinnati, Ohio April 12, 2022"

The Nihil Obstat ("Permission to Publish") is a declaration that a book or pamphlet is considered to be free of doctrinal or moral error. It is not implied that those who have granted the Nihil Obstat agree with the contents, opinions, or statements

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raemanzu · 2 years ago

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I posted 3,885 times in 2022

17 posts created (0%)

3,868 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@tearlessrain

@propheticfire

@derinthescarletpescatarian

@ladyyatexel

@binaryystars

I tagged 1,659 of my posts in 2022

#the untamed - 153 posts

#cats - 148 posts

#zexal - 117 posts

#yugioh - 106 posts

#i need a gx tag - 44 posts

#good omens - 36 posts

#bugs - 33 posts

#commander cody - 29 posts

#science - 29 posts

#sabikui bisco - 27 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#this post came back to haunt me while we were driving home from a fruit stand and the watermelon and cantaloupe kept thumping around in the

My Top Posts in 2022:

ofc the day I finally get my top surgery date set is the first day in months that I feel utterly ambushed by Bad Brain for the first half of the day before getting the phone call lol. Anyway I’m initiating operation flatness at the end of January woop woop.

3 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

sometimes love is a quiet spoon

because metal scraped against ceramic

is painful to sensitive, half-sleeping ears

sometimes love is trusting

enough to say "hey, this hurts"

what to some might seem foolish or small

and love is listening

finding ways to live more gently

and to need more honestly

and to say

okay

I will try something new

so here is to compostable plastic spoons

kept from a trip to IKEA

they are now a tool of affection

just a small way for me to make life

a little easier to walk through

and every morning

a wordless prayer

over my cereal

sleep well

wake gently

know that you're safe here

4 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

Good Omens Fanfic: The Gospel of Crowley (Chapter 13)

“I asked God about you.”

Crowley’s stomach plunged through the earth and he steeled himself. That is, he tried to steel himself, but could not find much steely within to summon.

“Eh?” he croaked. He cleared his throat. “That so.”

Jesus’ expression was complicated, brow furrowed, mouth twisted somewhere between a weak smile and a pensive frown.

“I’m still trying to figure out the answer. But here’s what I think it is.”

—–

An AU where Crowley and Aziraphale end up a bit more involved in Jesus’ life than they intended. Begins around the Nativity, hits upon various points in Jesus’ childhood and the rest of his life and death. Kids have always been easy for Crowley to interact with, but what about the literal son of God?

So, wow... it’s been ages. This chapter was sitting around waiting for edits for a while and now we can finally share it! It may be a while before the next update since the next chapter is only half written... but we do intend to continue. We love this story a lot.

Preview:

Rain fell heavily on the thirsty earth, and it was too dry to drink it. Huge stretches of rock and brush were submerged in pools of runoff, wide temporary rivers cutting new paths in the dust, and the desert became muted, colors blurred and softened under the dark grey sky.

There was no pressing reason for Crowley to be out here, standing underneath his tree. It certainly didn’t need watering, and its roots were holding well. Still, an inner compass had pulled him ever closer in his restless wanderings along the washed-out road, and the scent of the fruit, gone bright in the rain, had done the rest.

He sat in the lower branches now, listening to the loud patter of fat drops on glossy leaves. It was peaceful. He kept his eyes closed, or watched the movement of the muddy water below. He tried not to remember. At one point, his eyes tracked the crawling of a tiny bedraggled fig wasp, its wings too heavy for flight.

Wet footsteps below brought him out of his trance.

“What are you doing out here?” Crowley asked before he even saw Jesus.

Read it on AO3

5 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

Did not anticipate just how much being trapped at home with covid in the early summer would make me want to be able to go shirtless all the time but it really does. Why do my nipples have to be female presenting.

5 notes - Posted June 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

We Don’t Talk About Vector

(Just after Nasch and Rio remember they’re barians, but before remembering that Vector killed them, they ask the other barians if they can trust Vector or not)

We don’t talk about Vector, no, no, no!

We don’t talk about Vector… but

(Gilag and Alito)

We were invading earth

[We were invading earth]

Just possessing humans and we thought things were goin’ just fine

[thought this was our time to shine]

Vector shows up in this middle school getup

[LITTLE PUNK]

You telling this story or am I?

[Sorry bro, my bad, go on.]

Vector tanned Alito’s hide

[that so-called Shingetsu Rei]

I swore I’d carry on his fight

[wish I’d seen it a mile away]

Vector got Yuma on his side

[what a surprise that tricky bastard LIED]

We don’t talk about Vector, no, no, no!

We don’t talk about Vector!

(Durbe)

We’ve gone centuries putting up with his audacity

His bragging and his brashness push our patience past capacity

But I must admit, that in your absence, he’s made plans….

Plans that while elaborate have proved that he’s intelligent

And whate’er his motive is the outcome’s to our benefit

But then again, he is a master at all sleight of hand

Do you understand?

(Mizael)

See the full post

45 notes - Posted April 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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kenmas-blue-psp · 2 years ago

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I posted 17,358 times in 2022

That's 15,234 more posts than 2021!

303 posts created (2%)

17,055 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@aliens-took-my-iwa-chan

@bussyenthusiast

@tenpixelsusie

@eddie-the-freak-munson

@im-not-an-armrest-im-short

I tagged 1,518 of my posts in 2022

#asks - 279 posts

#cece's inbox - 278 posts

#alien~ - 78 posts

#<3 - 38 posts

#lmao - 24 posts

#bagel (♥ω♥*) - 19 posts

#<333 - 18 posts

#anon ask - 16 posts

#xd - 14 posts

#cece's 100+ followers celebration ^ ^ - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#i think the latest i've stayed up writing was past eleven once when i had an idea for a fic and had to get it all written so i didn't forget

My Top Posts in 2022:

1. who is/are your comfort character(s)? - Off the top of my head I'd probably say kenma (pretty obviously lol), oikawa (for reasons), miya from sk8, michael mell, and now inumaki :3

13 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

HI SINCE YOU FOLLOWED ME I THOUGHT WE'D MAKE FRIENDS :D

so, uh..im astro, we have the same mbti, we're both minors, I use all pronouns, and you're one of my first moots in this account (I left my old one bc I changed fandoms) :)

I hope we can be besties!!!

AH HI THERE :D

I've been seeing you in my notifications lately so I decided to follow you xDD nice to meet you astro!!

I hope the same <3 I also hope your day has been going well so far (:

14 notes - Posted November 10, 2022

<33333

Hello friend!! I see you in my notifs and I wanted to tell you to have an awesome day!!!! <33

Hello! <333

I've been reblogging/liking a lot of your posts haven't I ^^"

But yeah I hope you have an awesome day as well!!!

17 notes - Posted February 9, 2022

So I’m here to finally acknowledge something that happened a couple days ago...

I’d just like to take a moment to send a thank you to you all for following me <3

In honor of reaching 100+ followers yes it took me another 30 followers to make this post because I couldn’t figure out what to do to celebrate I’ve decided to make a little emoji ask game! Just send in an ask with one of the emojis below, and I’ll answer it with what the emoji is for :D

📷 i’ll share a random image from my camera roll

💛 i’ll draw you a little something based on your blog~

🎵 i’ll post a lyric from a song currently on my playlist that i think matches you

📝 fic recommendation! (limited to haikyuu, be more chill, and genshin since those are the only fandoms I’ve read fics for so far)

✨ a ~surprise~

There are only five for now because turns out coming up with ask game ideas is harder than it looks, but I might add more later if inspiration hits me! Either way, thank you again and I hope the rest of your day goes well <33

17 notes - Posted January 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

So since I can’t figure out how to repin my old pinned post, I suppose this is a good time to make a new (better) introductory post

Until I find the time to do so, this will be the temporary stand-in post jsyk xD

18 notes - Posted February 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #the fact my top post was the temporary pinned post i never got around to replacing-#rip xD #I'LL DO IT IN 2023 THEN

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choking-on-tae · 4 years ago

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ATEEZ Reaction To: Going out with their S.O at 3 am because they can't sleep

Anon: Hi hi!! I've been having trouble sleeping lately and I was wondering if you'd want to write some reactions or scenarios for Ateez and their S/O being unable to sleep so they go out and have some cute fun like going to get food, taking walks or going to the park at like 3am and playing music and just generally having late night fun! If not that's okay too! 💕

-🪶

A/N: This is so relatable. I mean I need someone like this in my life and I think everyone does. Mentions of insomnia (obviously).This might be quite long.. As usual gifs aren't mine and credits to the rightful owners! x

Seonghwa

When Seongwa feels you turning for what feels like the 100th time he lets out a deep sigh as he sits up. Running his fingers through his hair as he turns to you. "Okay, we're going out."

You peek your head out from under the covers as you look at him. Eyebrow raised as you try to figure out if he's joking or not. "What do you mean?"

Seonghwa leans down until his face is mere inches away from yours as he says, "This obviously isn't working. And you can stay like this until it's time to get up only getting more frustrated, or we can actually do something fun."

You sit up straight as you push away the covers, letting out a soft yawn as you stretch your arms. "Okay, that seems like a good idea."

Seonghwa smiles as quickly gets dressed, you doing the same as you go outside. You've always loved going out in the middle of the night but don't do it on your own because it can be quite dangerous, but with Seonghwa you feel safe. Seonghwa takes your hand in his own as you two reach the center of the city.

Despite it being 3 am there's still a lot of people on the streets, which makes you feel more at ease. Seonghwa seems to notice as he watches you with a fond smile on his face. Not even 10 minutes later you pass by an arcade and Seonghwa's eyes lit up. You chuckle softly at his reaction as you pull him inside, getting some coins to use the machines as you make your way towards the claw machine.

Seonghwa watches with big eyes as you grab the remote and start to move it towards the plushie you've your eyes on. To your surprise the claw latches on and lifts up the plushie, bringing it to the hole as it falls throught.

Both of you scream in excitement as you grab the plushie, looking at it with a fond smile on your face before looking at your boyfriend. Seonghwa looks at the plushie the same way so you hand the plushie to him. His eyes widen as he tilts his head in confusion. "Wha-" "This is for you Hwa."

His lips spread into a bright smile as his eyes sparkle, looking at you full of love as he takes the plushie from you. He pulls you closer as he wraps his arms around you. Resting his head on your shoulder as he leans in to press a kiss against your temple. "Thank you sweetheart. It's so cute."

You turn your head slightly to be able to kiss him as you feel your heart flutter. "It's my thank you for taking me out. I really enjoy nights like this."

Now it's Seonghwa's turn to blush as he feels his heart flutter, placing his hand on your jaw as he pulls you in for another kiss. "You're welcome love. I really enjoy spending time with you like this."

Hongjoong

Hongjoong frowns when he sees your name lighting up his screen. He looks at the clock to check the time only to see it's 3 am. You're not supposed to be awake so he's surprised to see you calling him.

"Baby? Why are you calling me at this hour?"

"I can't sleep..."

Hongjoong feels his chest tighten as he hears your sleepy voice. You must be really tired. He rubs his face as he shuts down his laptop, this can wait. "Get dressed. I'll be there in 20."

He says, not waiting for your response as he hangs up, grabbing his things and walking out of the studio. Not even 20 minutes later he's knocking on your door. You open it, fully stressed but undoubtedly tired. Hongjoong pouts softly as he takes your hand in his. You lock the door behind you as you walk out of the building.

"So, where are we going?"

Hongjoong only smiles in response as he shakes his head. "You'll see."

The two of you walk around until you arrive at your favorite convenience store. The one that always has your favorite ice creams. You squeal in excitement as you run in, dragging your boyfriend with you as you stand over the freezer.

"I want this one! Which one do you want?" You ask, a bright smile prominent on your face as you wait for his answer.

Hongjoong leans over the freezer as his eyes land on one. "That one."

You nod as you open the freezer, taking out both ice creams as you make your way to the cashier. Hongjoong pays for the ice creams as you two sit down at a table.

"I was gonna pay.." You pout, staring at your boyfriend as you rip the packaging.

"I know, but since I took you out I wanted to pay." He says, flashing you his bright smile as he leans across the table to kiss your nose.

You giggle as it tickles as you feel your cheeks heating up. "Ah you're so cute when you blush!"

Now you're full on hiding your face behind your hands as Hongjoong's laugh echoes through the empty store. He leans across the table again as he removes your hands from your face, looking into your eyes as he smiles at you.

"You don't have to be shy baby. I think you're really cute like this. Even when you're dressed in comfortable clothes and not wearing any makeup I think you're beautiful."

Yunho

Yunho knows you've been struggling with insomnia a lot these days so he isn't surprised to see your name popping up on his screen. He just finished his schedule and was about to go home when he reads your message.

"Are you still in the studio? x"

He smiles softly as he reads your message, quickly replying that he's picking you up as he gathers his things. Not too long after he's standing in front of your door. Soon you open it, wearing one of his large hoodies he's given to you not too long ago. Yunho can't help but smile as he notices how cute you look. Unable to resist he pulls you in for a tight hug, resting his chin on top of your head as he gently sways you back and forth.

"You always look so cute in my clothes. Anyways, are you ready to have some fun?"

"Aren't you tired? You should sleep Yunho. Don't you have a sche-"

"-No I don't. I'm free tomorrow so let's have fun."

He says, grabbing your arm and dragging you with him. You chuckle softly as you follow your boyfriend to his car. Not even 10 minutes later you arrive at your favorite ice cream shop. The mean reasons it's your favorite is because of the insane amount of flavors, and the fact that it's open late at night.

Yunho parks the car as you two get out, making your way inside and ordering your favorite flavors. You're about to sit down when Yunho stops you. "There's a cute park nearby. I thought that maybe we could go for a walk while we eat our ice creams?"

"Yeah that seems like a good idea." You say, a bright smile evident on your face as you walk out of the shop and into the park.

You've always wanted to go to this particular park at night, but were always scared to do so because it's dark and could be unsafe. With Yunho by your side you don't feel scared at all and admire the beauty of the trees. There's a lot of stars in the sky that light up the park beautifully as you're walking through it. Your fingers laced with Yunho's as you enjoy your ice cream.

Yeosang

One thing you and Yeosang share is your love for food, so when you couldn't sleep he thought the perfect thing to do would be going out for chicken, so you did. You sit down in your regular seat as Yeosang moves to sit down next to you instead of sitting across from you. You raise your eyebrow in question when he flashes you a warm smile.

"I just want to be close to you."

You nod in agreement as you feel him wrapping his arm around your shoulder. The waiter comes up to you to take your order as you order some drinks as well. This wasn't the first time you went out to have chicken at 3 am. Since you've been having a lot of sleepless nights lately and Yeosang comes back late from his schedule a lot lately so you've come up with this solution.

Yeosang smiles fondly at you as the chicken arrives. Both of you are practically salivating as you reach for your chopsticks, grabbing a drumstick and taking a bite. You hum as you taste the delicious chicken. Yeosang chuckles as he too grabs a drumstick and takes a bite. His reaction is pretty similar to yours as a bright smile spreads across his face.

You chuckle when you see a drop of sauce on the corner of his lips and grab a napkin, wiping it away as Yeosang blushes softly. A deep giggle escaping his lips as he feels a little embarrassed. "It's fine! I know you're a messy eater."

Now both of you are laughing as you stare at each other lovingly. "Thank you for keeping me company when I can't sleep."

"Of course baby. I would never say no to chicken. And if I can eat it with you it's even more perfect."

You gently hit his chest at his cheesy words as you feel your face heat up. Yeosang feels his heart warm as he pulls you closer, feeding you another piece of chicken before grabbing one for himself. It's little moments like that that he cherishes the most. One on one time in the middle of the night at your favorite restaurant. It couldn't be more perfect than that.

San

There's two things that always make you feel better when you can't sleep. 1: Music. 2: San. So why not combine both? You texted San asking if he's still at the company while you get ready. Not even 5 minutes later you heard your phone beep. When you check it you see it's San saying that he'll be done in 30 min. Perfect. You grab your keys as you make your way to the company.

As you arrive you spot San already waiting for you. He smiles brightly as soon as he sees you and runs up to you, wrapping his arms around you as he holds you close.

"I missed you." He says, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he tightens his grip on you. You chuckle softly as you gently rub his back, pressing your face against his collarbone.

"I missed you too Sannie, that's why I wanted to see you."

San smiles brightly as he pulls back enough to be able to look at you. "Let's go, shall we?"

San nods as he takes your hand in his, pulling you with him as you enter the park. The two of you walk in silence for a bit until you reach a bench and sit down. San pulls out his earbuds as he hands one to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder as he starts a playlist.

You rest your head against his as you listen to the music. San's hand finding yours as you hold hands while listening to your favorite songs.

He reaches in his pocket and pulls out some of your favorite candy. You squeal in excitement as you grab one, wrapping your arms around his neck as you press a kiss against his cheek.

"You're the best San. Thank you."

San smiles brightly, flashing his dimples as he pops one in his own mouth. Resting his head against yours again as he stares out in front of him, getting lost in his own thoughts as he holds you close.

Mingi

Mingi pouts when he listens to you talk about how you can't sleep again. Feeling bad for you since this seems to happen more often. It's then that an idea pops into his head. "Hey baby, do you maybe wanna go get some food?"

He hears you hesitate for a moment before agreeing. "Okay. I can't sleep anyways so why not."

Mingi smiles as he hangs up, quickly getting ready to meet you at the restaurant. He only has to wait for 5 minutes before he sees you walking towards him, a tired but bright smile spread across your face as you instantly hug him once you're close enough.

Mingi chuckles softly as he holds you tightly. Resting his chin on your shoulder as he just holds you for a bit. Happy to have you in his arms again as it's been a while since he last saw you. Mingi pulls away just enough to be able to look at you and leans down to press a kiss against your forehead.

"Let's go in, hm?"

You nod as you take his hand in yours, pulling him inside as you sit down at a table next to the window so you're able to look over the city while eating. Mingi grabs the menu as he looks over it, checking to see if they still have the special from last week. Thankfully they do. Mingi smiles brightly as he looks at you, pointing at it on the menu as your eyes land on.

"Oh my god they still have it? Let's get that!"

Mingi smiles brightly as he places the order. While you wait for your food to arrive Mingi leans across the table to take your hands in his as he stares at you with a fond smile on his face.

"You know, I hate that you're struggling to sleep lately but I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy spending time with you like this. In the middle of the night when there's barely anyone, and it can just be the two of us like this."

Your heart flutters at his words as you smile brightly, unable to stop yourself from doing so as Mingi does the same. The waiter brings your food, causing you two to cheer happily as the waiter chuckles. Telling you to enjoy your meal as you thank him, quickly grabbing your spoons and digging in.

Mingi hums happily as he takes another bite. You giggle at your boyfriend's expression as you take a sip of your drink.

"Mingi." "Hm?"

You rest your chin on your hands at you look up at your boyfriend, a bright smile on your face as you say, "Thank you for everything."

Wooyoung

Wooyoung always comes up with random ideas, so when you're unable to sleep and keep tossing and turning it seems like the perfect opportunity for something spontaneous. Wooyoung turns to face you as he pulls the covers down to be able to look at you. You open your eyes and peek up at him. "Why are you still up Woo?"

Wooyoung smiles brightly as he leans down to press a kiss against your nose. "Let's do something fun, since you can't sleep anyways."

You hum in response as you feel Wooyoung dragging you out of bed. The two of you get dressed quickly before going out. Thankfully the convenience store is still open so you stop by to get some snacks before going to the arcade. It's one of you guys' favorite places so the perfect place to go now.

Wooyoung instantly runs to his favorite game, which makes you giggle. You follow your boyfriend as you watch him throw in some coins and get ready to play against him.

Both of you watch the countdown until it gets the 0. You've a head start but it doesn't lake long before Wooyoung races past you, making you groan. Wooyoung chuckles in response as you continue racing at each other. Finally you're the one who finishes in first place. You cheer loudly as you watch Wooyoung groan.

He really wanted to win but when he sees your happy face he can't help but feel happy for you. "Good job baby."

Wooyoung hugs you tightly as you make your way over to one of the tables, getting out your snacks and munching on them. Occasionally feeding each other as giggles fill the arcade.

Jongho

Jongho is very caring and loving, so when you can't sleep he's over at your place in a heartbeat. You get out of bed and change into something more comfortable to go out. Jongho waits patiently for you to get ready as you head out to go to the park. Thankfully it's not too far from your place so it doesn't take long until you arrive. Jongho wraps his arm around your lower back as you two walk around the park. Because of a festival that's happening soon there's a lot of lanterns in the park, which makes it even more beautiful and scenic.

The vibe is much more romantic as you turn your head to give Jongho a kiss on the cheek. He blushes softly as he turns his head the other way so you won't see him blush. You're having none of it and turn his head to the other side.

"Don't hide from me! You're so cute when you blush."

Jongho blushes even more at your compliment as the two of you giggle. When you reach the middle of the park there's a bench surrounded by cherry blossoms. During the day the bench is always taken, but now it's midnight there's no one in the park.

Which means that you can finally sit on it, so you do. Jongho sits down next to you as he wraps his arm around your shoulders.

"This is very pretty, isn't it?" He asks, turning his head so he's looking at you.

"It is. I'm very glad we came here." You say, resting your head on his shoulder as you snuggle closer to him.

"So am I, thank you for coming with me. And if you can't sleep again at night, let's come here again. I really like spending time with you like this when there's no other people there to interrupt is."

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dari-ede · 2 years ago

Text

In the Middle of the Night: Chapter 15

Chapter 15: "꿈처럼 뛰어들 때"

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30

MASTERLIST

Summary: As Bangtan prepares for a new chapter in their lives, they head to their private property in the forest for a songwriting workshop. As a songwriter and producer they have worked with for years, I’m asked to tag along. I was ready for the heavy workload and small amount of sleep during the workshop week. However, I wasn’t ready for the storm that came that changed my friendship with Namjoon forever.

Pairing: Idol!RM/Namjoon x OFC

Genre: Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Smut

Rating: M (sexual/adult themes, mention of sexual assault in other chapters)

Progress: COMPLETE

NOTE: Their first date. Sadly, no smut again. Damn Namjoon wouldn't let me. 😒 However, there's a nice amount of fluff.

Appearances: Jackson Wang

~~~~~~

-September-

“I am so sorry. I feel shitty doing this to you again,” Namjoon said on the other end of the phone. He had just told me date night had to be postponed again.

Namjoon and the rest of the guys had packed schedules. Not only were they preparing for their online concert, but there were numerous projects they were working on, such as the AMAs and Jingle Ball performances.

When Namjoon shared the Jingle Ball news, I had been thrilled for them. Their recognition and popularity in the US were expanding and they very much deserved it. However, there was one small drawback to this celebration: our date night kept getting postponed. Not to mention our usual hangouts were almost nonexistent.

However, it wasn’t only Namjoon’s busy schedule that kept pushing back our date. My schedule was also a contributing factor. Music had made its way back to me like it hadn’t in years. I couldn’t stop the tunes and harmonies and lyrics from forming in my head. Every day, I was creating music for hours on end. And nothing I was writing felt like I could give away. Every song was meant to be mine.

There were a couple of songs I had become so passionate about, I rented out a studio at HYBE to record them. I knew it wasn’t a good idea, seeing that there were spies everywhere in the building. The only time I used a studio at HYBE was when I was working on a company project. But my excitement for my new music made me dismiss my worries. It didn’t take too long for the staff to figure out I was in the studio for myself rather than another artist.

Word got to Sihyuk, who called my manager to ask if I was working on another album, who in turn called me with the same question. And because I never lied to Kyung when it came to my music, I admitted to the songs I was working on. This excited Kyung. He started spreading the word to music labels to find me a new home. He was certain he could get me the perfect contract. And for the first time in a long time, I felt the hunger and drive to make an album again.

My days were now full of phone calls from Kyung about who I could work with. And because of the large time difference between Korea and California, my nights consisted of being on the phone—not being able to visit Namjoon. Namjoon might have postponed our date twice, but I had postponed it three times.

If I was being completely honest, I didn’t care about missing out on the date. I was mostly saddened at not spending time with my best friend. We typically had lunch together a few times a week, but since our time back from the soop, we were lucky to eat together twice a week. Sure, we talked on the phone and messaged each other throughout the day, but it wasn’t the same.

His news of having to postpone the date was disappointing, but I didn’t want to make him feel more guilty than he already sounded. “It’s ok,” I tried to sound sincere. “What came up?”

“More filming of the new merch—some photoshoots as well. And then Sihyuk scheduled a personal meeting with me. But it has nothing to do with Bangtan. The meeting is about another artist,” he said. His voice turned serious.

This was concerning. Sihyuk knew Namjoon had his hands full with an endless number of Bangtan projects, why would he be adding to Namjoon’s plate? The only reason why Namjoon was ever involved with other artists in the company was for songwriting. “Namjoon, you don’t have enough time to write for another artist. You barely have time to eat.”

“It’s not for songwriting,” he assured.

“Then why does he want to meet with you?” I asked, confused.

“Sihyuk really wants to sign an artist to the company. And he thinks I can help persuade this person.” He was being very careful with his words, I could tell.

It sank in who he was referring to. Me. I immediately felt concerned. Was Sihyuk reaching out to Namjoon because he was a friend of mine, or had he learned Namjoon was something more? “Does he know about us?”

“No. And I don’t think he suspects anything. We’re friends, which is why he’s come to me. Hoseok said Sihyuk cornered him the other day too. Asked him about your new music.”

I let out a groan as I let my body fall onto the couch behind me. I was at home and Namjoon had caught me in the middle of working on another song.

After Sihyuk had reached out to Kyung, I started to avoid going to headquarters. I didn’t want to be cornered by him. However, it appeared he had decided to corner my friends.

“I wanted to give you a heads up and wanted to know from you what—if anything—is alright for me to share with him.” There was some hesitation in his voice, almost as if he was a little scared of asking the question.

I knew why he felt this way. The topic of me and my music had been a sensitive subject for the last couple of years. But that was when I wasn’t sure of my music, things were different now—more certain, even if it had only been a few weeks. “I’m ok with him knowing I’m working on a new album. No specific details, though. I’m talking to labels about possible contracts. Those two things are ok to say. I’d rather him talk to either Ky or myself, though. I don’t like that he’s bugging you guys.”

Sihyuk was a good guy. Sometimes, he stepped over the line when it came to business, but he did it with the best of intentions. He was seeking me out for multiple reasons: I was an international artist, I had a good image—for the most part—free of controversies, I had a good standing reputation with HYBE, I had a devoted fanbase, and most importantly, I had the talent to back up my success. I was going to have to face him sooner rather than later.

“Ok. If it wasn’t Sihyuk—if it was anyone else—I would have just dismissed him and not agreed to a meeting. But I think Sihyuk is genuine when he takes an interest in an artist’s music and career,” Namjoon said with confidence. “I think he came to Hobi and me with sincerity.”

I knew this. Sihyuk had made his mistakes in how he handled the guys when they were younger, but the dynamics and relationships had changed in the last few years. The energy of the company was overall a positive one. And if I was being completely honest, a part of me wanted to sign with HYBE—particularly with Big Hit because of Sihyuk. However, I knew that was wishful thinking. Business-wise, an American label made more sense for me to sign with.

“So, still no theme or muse for your music?” he asked, slightly changing the subject.

I was more than willing to change it. “No. I think I want to take each song at a time and try not to overthink it. Maybe that’s what was causing my writer’s block. Too much thinking. Not enough feeling.”

I could practically feel him smiling on the other side of the phone. “I told you it would come to you. There was just no way you were going to continue without making another album. You're too talented to go without making music.”

He was sweet, but the compliments still made me uneasy. I was trying my best to not let them affect me. Namjoon had been right that we both had problems we needed to individually work on. And I wanted to try my best. “Thank you,” I made myself say. But then my natural instincts came in and changed the topic, “So when are you free next for the date?”

He let out a groan. “Not until after the concert. I’m free for a few hours tomorrow before I meet up with some friends. It’s been weeks that we’ve been planning a guy’s night.”

I suddenly remembered something. “We can do it tomorrow before you go out.”

“You have your weekly call with your parents,” he said as if I had forgotten.

“It’s getting pushed back. They got back from Mexico earlier this week and are now in LA, so I’m calling them later. And I have nothing planned for the morning after, so I’ll be able to sleep in.”

“Yeah, but that would still only give us four hours,” he said. “The date takes at least half a day. Minimum.”

“What could you possibly have planned that would take that long?” I asked with skepticism.

He really didn’t want to tell me his plans, but he gave in a little. “Our first activity is done outside which will take a minimum of two hours. Then there’s the dinner, which is at least an hour. Then there’s doing another outside activity that will take another hour. And then there’s us finally spending the entire night together because one of us leaving immediately after sex would feel cheap.”

I knew he wanted to make our first date perfect, but we kept pushing it back so many times already. Our availability was only going to get worse. “Namjoon, perfection doesn’t exist. I just….” I usually held back voicing my emotions to my partner, a trait I learned from my parents. Or, at least, that’s what Dr. Rob analyzed. I needed to start being more honest, however uncomfortable it might make me feel. “I want to see you. I want to hang out, even if it’s for an hour. I really could give two shits if we have sex or not.” Through my voice, I hoped he could hear my longing—my craving to be close to him. Fuck, I missed him. And it wasn’t just sexual.

He was quiet for a moment. “Really? No need for sex?”

I rolled my eyes. Did he think I was some sex fiend or something? “No, I just want to be with you.” I could feel my palms feeling a little clammy at admitting this to him. I didn't want to sound desperate. Or pathetic.

His voice turned lighter. “Ok. Tomorrow it is then. Let’s meet here at HYBE. I won’t be here; I have a personal meeting that’s going to last most of the day. But I can meet you a little before 7. Bring a jacket just in case it gets chilly.”

My heart fluttered. My palms now sweating for a different reason. “Ok.”

“Alright. Well, I gotta go. The guys are waiting. I’ll message you once I’m outta here.”

“Have fun.”

“Bye.”

As soon as I hung up, my body automatically did a weird and exciting dance. Whatever. I was alone. I gave in to my dance.

“Shit, what am I going to wear?” The sudden question made me stop and think. And I ran to my closet to figure out my outfit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day when I arrived at HYBE, I knew I was very early. But I was too excited not to be.

I figured out my outfit quickly. I remembered Jimin telling me Namjoon liked me in purple or yellow; it was easier to narrow down the clothes with that information.

I went with my favorite jeans—the ones that tended to wrap hugged my curves just right—a simple top that showed the right amount of cleavage, a purple cardigan that made my warm pigment glow, and some booties that elongated my legs and height more. With Namjoon's height, I needed help.

Making my way through security, I took the elevator to the guys’ floor. I was certain Yoongi was in the building—he always was. I could use him as entertainment before my date with Namjoon officially started. Once outside Genius Lab, I knocked. I stared down at the carpet below me, a grumpy cat looked back at me while giving me a middle finger. He'd had this thing for years, he needed a new one. After a few seconds, I knocked again. Still no response. Odd. Had he gone to the restroom?

I got my phone out and called him.

He picked up after a few rings. “Hello.”

“Where are you?”

“Huh? Why?” He sounded guarded.

“I’m outside your studio.”

“Why?” I heard a crash in the background. Yoongi let out a heavy sigh.

What was up with him? “I’m bored and need something to do for the next hour. And I’m not sure if any of the other guys are here.”

“Taehyungi should be there. And Jungkook. Go bug them.”

I made a mental note to give him a peck on the cheek the next time I saw him. “Fine. But, seriously, where are you?”

“Ahhh. Why are you so nosy?” I heard a low voice in the background, but I couldn’t work out what was said.

“Tell me or I’ll kiss you next time I see you,” I warned.

He let out another sigh. “I’ll tell you later.” Click.

I stared down at my phone and contemplated calling him back. However, I knew I wouldn’t get anywhere. I decided to dial Taehyung’s number.

He answered within three things. “Hi, noona.”

“Hey, cutie. Are you at HYBE?”

“Yes, I’m in one of the working studios. Are you here?”

I started walking toward his location; he tended to use the same room whenever he worked. “Yes. Are you busy?”

“Yes, but I can use a small break. Want to get a snack?”

“No, I don’t want to ruin my dinner. But you can get a snack while I get coffee,” I suggested, getting closer to his room.

“Ok. Are you close?”

“I’m a few doors down.” I could see the door from where I was.

“I’ll be right out.”

He opened the door just as I was about to knock on it. He did a once over on me, a wide smile appearing. “Very nice,” he said in English. “Sexy.”

I did a small twirl. “Thank you.”

The two producers in the room tried to get a peek at who Taehyung was speaking with. I didn’t want to be rude, so I stepped forward and we exchanged quick pleasantries with Tae’s team before Tae and I headed to the café.

It didn’t take longer than a few minutes before we were sitting in a private corner of the café with my coffee and Tae’s sandwich.

“Are you nervous about tonight?” he asked in a low voice, looking around to make sure no one was within earshot.

Due to COVID, the number of employees in the building was still limited. And the few people present kept a great amount of distance from one another. “A little,” I admitted to him.

He gave me a small smile. “You’re going to have fun. He really thought it all the way through,” he assured me. I noticed he was omitting Namjoon’s name entirely, taking extra precautions.

“He told you his plans?” I asked curiously.

“Yes, but don’t ask me what they are because I won’t tell.” He looked like he meant it.

“Can you at least tell me if I’m dressed ok for it?” I sat all the way back in my chair to give him a look at my outfit just in case he had forgotten.

Of course, I didn’t have to. Taehyung had an eye for fashion and remembered what I was wearing. “You look good. But…” He gave me a slight look of uncertainty when he looked down at my shoes. “Did you bring something else, just in case?”

“Oh, I have a skirt and heels in my bag,” I assured him. I had backup items in my big purse just in case.

"Let me see," he requested, bending towards the purse.

"I actually took a picture of it. If I take it out, it'll look suspicious," I said as I looked through my phone and searched for the photo I had taken earlier.

Once I found it, I showed it to him. Tae leaned in, took the phone from me, and looked pleased. "Perfect. Put this on right before dinner. This skirt and heels will show off your legs to him. We caught him plenty of times staring at them," he said, giving me back my phone.

What guy wasn’t into legs? I had caught him openly gawking at them several times. And if I was being completely honest, it felt good to know he had a physical attraction toward me.

“You know, if he didn’t have something else to do tonight, I would have canceled my weekly call with my parents and just stayed over his house all night. Or have him over.”

Taehyung shook his head. “He’s canceled so many times with his friends. I think Jackson was slightly serious when he said if he didn’t make it for this hangout, he was considering breaking up the friendship.”

It was funny because I knew Jackson didn’t mean it.

For a moment it was quiet. I took another sip of my coffee, trying to cool down my nerves. My eyes turned towards Tae and found him looking at me with an adoring smile. “What?”

“I like that you guys are together,” he said sweetly.

I really didn’t know how to respond to that. I just smiled, gave a short nod, and took another drink of my coffee.

“After so many years, it’s good to see that it has finally happened,” he said with a twinkle in his eyes. “Seven is a lucky number.”

I was a little thrown back. “I haven’t liked him for that long.”

“No, I meant the friendship,” Taehyung clarified. “But you have liked him for a while.”

I shook my head, still shocked how I had gone so long without realizing my feelings for Namjoon had developed deeper without me realizing it. “I don’t know why it took so long to figure out I liked him this way. I mean, I’ve had a small crush on him every now and then but it would always be brief. It always went away when he was in a relationship or if I was.”

He nodded. “You both are very loyal, so allowing yourselves to like one another when in another relationship was never going to happen. Plus, you hadn’t gotten to know each other the way you do now. It’s very…difficult to tear down his walls.” He began to lower his voice. “Living with him for as long as we have, it was even hard for some of us. I don’t think he does it on purpose, it’s just his personality. He's very reserved, takes on many responsibilities, and feels like he has to take on a lot of burdens himself.” His eyes looked a little sad as he said this.

I understood the sadness personally. It had taken me years to finally be let into his world. While we had been "friends" for seven years, it wasn't until the last two that I felt we truly were. There didn't seem to be many walls between us.

Right then, my phone went off. I looked down to see Namjoon calling.

Taehyung frowned as he looked at the caller ID. “You still have him under ‘Moni’?”

I picked up the phone and answered, ignoring Tae’s question.

“How romantic,” he muttered sarcastically.

“Who’s romantic?” Namjoon asked on the other end of the line.

“Ignore Tae,” I said simply as I stuck out my tongue at the young man across the table from me. “Are you here?” I asked, feeling hopeful.

“Yeah. I’m in the parking lot. Are you ready?” His voice sounded upbeat.

“Yups. I’ll meet you there.” I hung up and gathered my things, Taehyung doing the same.

“You know that he’s starting to put that word into his vocabulary?” Tae asked as he got up from his chair.

I got up with him, pushing in my chair. “What word?”

“Yups. It’s your word and now he says it,” he explained as he waited for me.

“Well, I’ve picked up a few of his own habits,” I countered. “I cycle now.”

“Can you at least change the name to ‘Babe’ or ‘BF’. Why keep him as ‘Moni’?” Tae changed the subject as we walked together towards the elevator. “I haven’t heard you call him that in years.”

“Well, I can’t exactly save him under his real name or other nicknames,” I explained as we waited for the elevator to open. “If the wrong person were to look over my shoulder at the wrong time, they would be able to decipher who he is.”

“What do you have me under?” he asked curiously. The doors opened and we both went in, hitting the buttons for our destinations.

“Weirdo,” I answer lovingly, giving him a smile.

He didn’t look like he believed me. “Really?”

I nodded. I got my phone out, opened Contacts, and showed him.

“You’re so mean,” he said with a smile. “What about Jimin?”

“Lovely,” I responded.

Tae gave me an incredulous look. “And I get ‘weirdo’?”

“Well, that was more his own doing. I originally had him under ‘dummy’ but he found out and managed to get ahold of my phone to change it,” I explained.

He extended his hand. “Give.”

The elevator dinged and doors opened. We had arrived at Tae’s floor. I swatted his hand away. “Next time. Out.”

He leaned over to give me a hug. “Have fun. And remember to switch your outfit.”

“I will,” I said as he stepped out.

We waved goodbye as the doors closed.

A few moments later, I arrived at the parking lot several floors down. I made my way towards where the company cars usually were. Due to his height, I found Namjoon quickly.

As I made my way to him, I allowed myself to savor how good he looked. He was sporting nice, light blue jeans, a black shirt, and a brown jacket. He had on a pair of timberlands and a dark blue baseball cap. I could eat him up, he looked so good. The only thing I disliked about his outfit was his sunglasses and that was only because they were hiding his gorgeous browns.

He gave me a small but deep dimple smile. “Hey,” he said in his low, timbre voice.

“Hey, handsome,” I greeted as I openly let my eyes rake over him.

An embarrassed chuckle came out of him as he turned and gestured towards the open door of the vehicle. The driver was right next to the door, bowing.

I bowed back and entered the vehicle. If the driver wasn’t present, I would have jumped on Namjoon and planted one on him, but I made sure to keep my distance.

We spoke a bit in the car as we drove off, keeping things light.

The car came to a stop about twenty minutes later. I looked around and didn’t recognize where we were at first. I was sure we were in Dongdaemun but wasn’t sure of the exact location. In the two years I had been living here, it was an area I was unfamiliar with.

We were parked in an off alley away from most of the public. Very few people were around, so I wasn’t too worried about being recognized when I stepped out of the car. Namjoon was right behind me with big, empty bags in his hands. We were both sporting masks and thanks to our very casual wear, we easily blended in.

Namjoon turned to the driver and they communicated about where we would meet next. The driver nodded and got back into his car. Namjoon led the way into the streets.

“What’s with the bags?” I asked curiously as I eyed them.

“You’ll see. Come on, we don’t have much time. I promise next time we’ll come earlier,” he said in a low voice so only I could hear.

I knew he was doing this due to people easily recognizing him off his voice. He already stood out due to his height, if he were to speak, he would be at the center of attention.

I followed him closely but kept at a decent distance.

He looked down at me and gave me one of his eye smiles. “You look great, by the way.”

I wanted nothing more than to lean into him, but I restrained myself. “Back at ya. You know, my favorite look on you is anything in a hat—preferably a baseball cap.”

“Well, it’s going to be easy to please you. I’m not even gonna have to try,” he joked.

I sent him a flirtatious smile. He couldn’t see it because of the mask, but I was sure he could sense it. “You really don’t have to try. You exude self-confidence and I don’t think there’s a thing in the world sexier than that.”

I could see his cheeks glowing red, but he didn’t say anything.

We turned a couple of more streets until I finally saw it. Right in front of me was one of the most beautiful sceneries imaginable. It felt as if I had walked into a fantasy—a location I could only dream of.

My feet stopped walking so I could fully capture the sight. I knew where we were. A place I had been wanting to visit for a long time but just never got around to.

Next to me, Namjoon let out a small laugh. “Incredible, isn’t it? I remember being taken aback the first time I came here.”

In front of us was an endless view of street vendors and small shops with a plethora of books. The stacks of texts were so high and many that it almost felt like the scene from Aladdin in the Cave of Wonders. Except for the abundance of jewels and gold that Aladdin was presented with, I was staring into an abundance of hardcovers and paperbacks. We were in Cheonggyecheon Second Hand Book Street. A place where a plethora of books (used and new) from all over the world were sold at decent prices. Namjoon had spoken a few times about coming to this place, but we had always put it off.

“I could stay here for days,” I said breathlessly.

“Unfortunately, we have thirty minutes,” Namjoon said regrettably.

“Let's hurry,” I said as I rushed over to the first shop closest to me.

The next thirty minutes flew by quickly but were so incredibly satisfying. My eyes and brain could not keep up with all the different treasures surrounding me. I focused mostly on the books that looked the rarest and most interesting. I selected a few that were at least 100 years old and a few that were leather bound and in languages I was not familiar with. My hands carried a heavy bag in each. If I hadn’t been as excited as I was, I would have fought Namjoon harder when he paid for all the books. I was far too happy to try and argue.

He bought a couple books for himself, but mostly assisted me in picking for my selection.

Thankfully, we didn’t have to travel far to reach the driver. Namjoon had him park fairly close. We dropped off the bags at the vehicle, freeing our backs and arms of the heavy burden. After leaving the books, Namjoon informed me we weren’t set to leave yet. We were going to be taking a small stroll before leaving for our next destination. He communicated to the driver the next location to meet us in and the two of us headed over to walk along the Cheonggyecheaon stream.

We walked side by side, but still with distance between us. “Thank you,” I said enthusiastically. “I could have looked through those books for hours.”

He looked absolutely delighted. “I knew you would like it. Which are you most excited about?”

I thought for a moment. “That very old, rustic hardback about Greek mythology. The small, brown one. It’s so old and smells a little funky. That’ll be interesting to read through.”

“Lucky it was in English,” he said.

We walked along the stream, passed the market, and did a little bit of window shopping. It was our first date, but there wasn't too much awkwardness. Tonight didn’t feel any different than when we would hang out as friends. Was that a good thing or a bad thing, I wondered? I tried to push the thought away as I noticed we were getting close to our vehicle. It was a good thing it was the middle of a workweek and evening. Not many people were out and about, allowing us to have a pleasant time without disturbance.

We got into the vehicle and started our drive. For the next thirty minutes, we mostly talked about the books we had bought and looked through them. Namjoon had bought another art book that caused him to go into a song he was working on. The conversation then turned to their next album and the songs I was helping them write.

We made a turn on Namjoon’s complex. After passing the first set of security, we got out of the vehicle. We each took two book bags.

Namjoon gave a quick thanks to the driver and began to lead the way.

I gave the driver my thanks as well while I noticed Namjoon getting on his phone. It appeared he was sending a text to someone.

“Who are you messaging?” I asked, trying to get a peek at his phone. It was all for fun, though. He was way too damn tall for me to see anything. Even with the booties.

He knew I was teasing but still dodged me. “Stop being nosy,” he said with a smile.

As we went through another round of security, we made small talk. I wasn’t too worried about the guards noticing us together. I had come here enough to meet Namjoon for our biweekly bike rides or hikes that the security recognized me immediately.

A few minutes later, I was proven right as we arrived at the front of his door.

I let out a dramatic gasp. “What are your neighbors going to think about me coming over?” I asked in a dramatic whisper. There was no one around us.

He let out a smile as he unlocked the door and held it open for me. “We have four bags full of books and we’re wearing casual clothing. I doubt they’ll think too much into it.”

I walked inside. “And here I thought these books were to please me, but in reality, you’re just using them as a cover up.”

The door closed softly behind him. “It’s multi-purpose: I get to spend time with two of my favorite things: books and you. It throws the scent off of us—they’ll think we’re just working.” He set our bags down and took off his shoes, not bothering to set them to the side.

He had said it so casually and swiftly that I wondered if he had realized what he said. But I had caught it: two of my favorite things: books and you. The confession made my heart rate speed up and I could feel a smile forming that I couldn’t control.

I placed my shoes neatly next to the door as I tried to control my heart rate. I moved his as well, not wanting any accidents.

When I turned towards him, he had his attention on me, a smile lingering on his face. “What?” I asked, taken aback by the look on his face.

He took a few steps towards me, closing the gap between us.

I felt his hands come to my waist and pull me close. The scent of his smoky leather fragrance filled my senses. He smelled so good, I wanted to bury my nose in him. I looked up at the gorgeous man in front of me.

He leaned down, pressing his lips lightly against mine.

We hadn’t seen each other in a couple days, but my lips felt as if it had been an eternity. It felt like I was taking a much-needed breath.

He pulled away slightly, smiling down at me. “I’ve been wanting to do that since the parking lot,” he said in a husky voice.

I clung to his forearms, wanting him to bring his lips to me again. “Why didn’t you?”

“I’m an idiot,” he mumbled and leaned down again, giving me what I wanted.

I opened my mouth to deepen the kiss, but suddenly a loud and odd sound went off.

We pulled away from each other and looked around, wondering where such noise had come from. The noise was heard again. And at the same time, I felt my stomach move. The sound was coming from something closer than I thought: my stomach.

“You’re starving,” Namjoon said, his eyes set on my stomach. “Sorry.” And then he began to move. “Give me five to ten minutes,” he said hurriedly as he fled into the kitchen.

I suppressed a laugh as I walked into the clean and pristine household. Namjoon wasn’t incredibly messy, but he wasn’t neat either. I could tell he had gotten help to make the house look as spotless as it did now.

As I made my way down the hall, I noticed the dining room had been set up nicely. The last time I had been here, the table had been stacked with books and notes. He usually used it as a working desk. Now, the table looked like I had walked into a restaurant.

I smiled and made my way to the table, admiring the work and thought that was put into the design. The plates selected were gorgeous and assembled nicely across from one another. The glass candles were simple yet elegant. The yellow flower petals placed throughout the table added a romantic touch. And the small and short flower arrangement which contained a couple of sunflowers was incredibly sweet.

It looked as if this was a real restaurant, where a fancy dinner was about to be served.

At the thought of this, I remembered I was dressed too casual. Grabbing my bag, I headed to the restroom. “I’m going to use the restroom,” I announced.

“Ok,” Namjoon called back to me.

It didn’t take long to change. I debated for a while if I wanted to put on my heels or leave them off since we were indoors. But I remembered Taehyung’s words about Namjoon loving my legs and opted to put them on. Thankfully, I had cleaned them recently and hadn’t worn them since.

After doing a touch-up on my makeup and hair, I made my way to the dining room. Waiting there were two wine glasses and a bottle of Merlot.

I was about to walk over to it when a crashing noise came from the kitchen, followed by a grunt. Acting instinctively, I hurried over. “Is everything ok?”

“Yes,” Namjoon assured me just as I stepped inside the kitchen. His back was towards me and was crouching over a couple of plates. The source of the noise was immediately discovered: several utensils were scattered throughout the counter. Namjoon was mumbling something to himself.

Immediately, a whiff of pork and parmesan filled the room. “That smells good.”

Namjoon’s head snapped toward me. “Why are you in here? Wait at the table.”

I didn’t listen and took a few steps closer. “What do you expect me to do when I hear a crashing noise?”

“Ignore it. I’m constantly dropping things, so it should be of no surprise,” he mumbled as he went back to what he had been working on.

My curiosity kept bringing me closer.

He caught me. “Hey!” He tried to block me from looking.

I ducked and peeked under his arm, noticing what he was working on. It was spaghetti with what looked to be bacon. However, I had a pretty good nose, so I knew the bacon was actually guanciale. It was carbonara—one of my favorite foods! But it didn’t look professionally made.

“Did you cook this yourself?” I asked in astonishment.

He let out a sigh and moved aside, allowing me to get a full view. “Yeah. I made it right before getting to you. And I was just reheating it in the pan. I was putting in some cheese to add a finishing touch. How does it look?” he asked timidly.

I looked down at the pasta dish. The sauce was a bit curdled, meaning he had cooked the sauce with too high a heat. The bacon also looked a little too dark than it should have been, but it couldn’t have looked more perfect. I turned to him excitedly, “It looks really good!”

His face turned lighter at my reaction and he let out a sigh. “Really?”

I looked back down at the plates and stared at them for a good moment. Namjoon was immensely talented in many areas, but it was no secret that things that tended to be simple for the average person—such as cooking and driving—were a struggle for him. For years, he had tried his hand in the kitchen, only to flop most of the time. So, seeing that he had tried his hand at making something himself for our first date made my heart squeeze.

“What’s wrong?” His voice was low and gentle as his eyes roamed over my face.

I didn’t understand his concern. “What do you mean?” I asked, turning to him.

He frowned but there was a small smile on his face. “You look—” he stopped himself as if finally realizing something.

“I look like what?” I asked, taken aback. Had he finally noticed I was in a skirt and heels? I looked down at myself, just checking to see if there was something I was missing. Did he not approve of shoes in the house? “Should I take off my shoes?”

“Whoa,” he said suddenly as he looked down. He took a step back, getting a better view of me. His eyes were so wide and his mouth was hanging open that it was easy to tell he very much approved of the look. A feeling of satisfaction overwhelmed me, but that didn’t stop a blush from creeping its way through my cheeks.

“You look h—great.” His eyes roamed around my legs.

I could only handle being ogled by him for so long. I gave him a slight shove on the shoulder, snapping him out of it. “Come on, I’m starving.” I made a grab for both dishes.

He immediately reacted. “No, let me.”

“You cooked, it’s the least I can do,” I insisted.

He shook his head as he took the dishes from me. “I have all this planned. Go.”

I pouted a little but followed instructions. He got ahead of me the closer I got to the table, however. He put down the plates so he could pull out a chair for me, which I appreciated.

After pouring each of us some wine, Namjoon made his way to his chair. He smiled sweetly and gestured to the dish. “You want me to try it first to see if it’s poisonous?”

I rolled my eyes. I picked up my fork and went for it. I wasn’t worried at all. Due to the way I grew up, I wasn’t a picky eater. While I may have been raised well off, my parents ensured we weren't picky eaters. Only on very seldom occasions did we have fancy meals. I always ate whatever was presented to me and never complained about it. I doubted there was anything Namjoon could make that would make it inedible for me.

Making sure I made full eye contact with Namjoon, I placed the first bite into my mouth and chewed. His face looked a little scared for me. The first thing I tasted was the saltiness of the pasta. It wasn’t intolerable, but just a bit too much for my taste. The guanciale tasted a little charred—it had slightly burned. And the sauce felt a little off—pretty sure it was because the egg had curdled. The dish was decent, though. I would even say, near tasty.

I gave him a nod and went for seconds. “It’s good.”

His eyes popped a little in surprise. “Are you serious?”

I nodded and motioned for him to taste his creation.

He picked up his fork and did so. He made a funny face immediately. “That’s salty.”

I chuckled and nodded. “Just a bit. But it’s still good.”

Namjoon didn’t look convinced. He reached for his wine and took a sip. His face looked a little more pleased. “The wine downs it pretty good. Try it.”

I did and had to admit he was right. “It makes the dish extra tasty.”

“It’s a fine bottle, it’ll make even the worst dish seem edible,” he said, bashing himself.

He was doing it a little too much for my liking. “Stop,” I said, going in for my third bite. I didn’t like him putting himself down too much, even if he was only joking. “So, how was your day?”

He took another sip of wine and let out a sigh. “Alright, I guess.”

We weren’t around anyone else, so I was able to fully focus on his face. His eyes looked a little heavy and his shoulders were sagging slightly. “Tough day?” I asked, feeling concerned.

“Not really. Just long.” He scratched his head and leaned back in his chair, trying to relax. “I was with my financial adviser for most of the day. Dealing with my company shares.”

“Did you decide how much you’re going to sell?” I asked, remembering he had mentioned this before. He wanted to invest in art so as to open his own exhibit sometime in the near future.

He nodded and went on to explain how much he sold. It was a good amount.

“It should be enough to get you a nice quantity of art pieces,” I said enthusiastically.

He gave a small smile, but he seemed to be holding it back.

I had a good guess as to why. “Is it stressing you because it’s a lot of money?” Namjoon was very conservative with his spending and savings. This had been a big step for him.

“A little,” he admitted. “I don’t regret it, but I can’t help but worry.”

“It’s for a great reason, though. Your own collection! How exciting!” I was very pumped for him. “Can you just imagine it—opening up the doors to a display of your own collection?”

A genuine smile came across his face. He was happy again. And then he made a comment that he was going to have to be careful with the rest of his shares, feeling a bit concerned if he sold too many too fast.

I had the instinct of asking him how much his shares were but I didn’t want to pry.

It was one of the few topics I never talked to Namjoon about: finances. While we knew much about each other, one of the things that were still a mystery to me was his true net worth and the amount of money he had in the bank. And it was the same about me to him. I never told him in full detail my worth. In fact, I had never told any of my former boyfriends about my money. It was something I never felt comfortable sharing.

For a moment, I wondered if this would become an issue in the future for us. But that was for another time. We hadn’t even been together a month. We were supposed to be taking things slow.

“How’s the recording coming along?” he asked, reading my mind and changing the topic.

I was grateful. “My vocals are shot. I was trying to hit this one note and I couldn’t. It was embarrassing. I’m going to have to go back to vocal lessons,” I said, taking a sip of my wine.

“You mean with a vocal coach?” he asked, taking a bite from his food. He made another face after eating it. He must have forgotten he was eating his own food. It was cute.

I laughed at his expressions. “I scheduled a few sessions with my vocal coach. It’s going to suck having to do them virtually, but,” I shrugged my shoulders in defeat, “What are you going to do?”

We went on to talk about the latest updates I had received from my family. He then told me of his own family and how they were going to be joining him for the concert in the States. Apparently, some of the guys were going to be taking their families so they could have a vacation with them in the States. After two years, they wanted to take advantage of the opportunity.

I managed to finish my carbonara and wine without realizing it. We continued into the night talking and laughing as Namjoon explained the other projects the group was involved in. We finally had the time to share full stories with one another since we hadn’t been able to.

He was telling me how one of his favorite shirts had gotten a stain on it due to one of Jimin’s pranks gone wrong when his house phone went off. Very few people had his house number and even less called it rather than his cellphone. Whenever the house phone went off at the guys’ dorms, it was usually the front desk or security.

Namjoon checked his watch and then his phone. “Shit.” He hurried over to the phone and took his cell phone out. “I bet it’s Jackson. He called my phone several times, but I have it on silent.” He answered the landline.

I could hear the loud male voice on the other end. Namjoon had been right. It was Jackson.

“I’ll be right down. Give me 15.” He hung up the phone and turned to me, a disappointed look on his face.

I got up and started gathering the dishes. “Well, at least we got a few hours.”

Namjoon hurried over to take whatever I hadn’t been able to grab.

Together, we walked over to the kitchen and placed the dishes in the dishwasher. Once they were put away, Namjoon turned to me and pulled me close. “I’m sorry this date wasn’t longer.”

I smiled up at him. “Are you kidding? It was the best. You hit all the right spots. You bought me books, we took a nice walk—”

“A very short walk. I wanted to go on a nice bike ride with you,” he said with a slight pout.

“We can save that for another date. Bike riding is more of a morning date anyways. I like rides while the sun is coming up. We can do that on a Sunday. Very few people would be out, and we would both have it off,” I suggested.

He placed his large palm around my neck as his thumb rested on my cheek. “You always have solutions for everything, don’t you?”

I linked my hands around his large back. “I really enjoyed today. It was perfect.”

He leaned down and took my lips into his. For the umpteenth time tonight, I turned to liquid. I wanted nothing more than to continue staying here with him, but a stupid voice that came in form of a Hong Kong male reminded me that Namjoon had friends who were waiting for him.

I forced myself to pull away. “Ok, go. Before Jackson storms into this house.”

“Just one more minute,” he said, pulling my face to his.

I gave in for a few seconds, giving in to bliss for at least a few seconds. However, just as the kiss began to get a little more heated, the house phone began to ring again.

Namjoon let out a groan but pulled back. “I’ll call you a cab,” he said as we headed to the front door. He took out his phone and began to make a call, not bothering to answer the house call.

I took off my heels and put on my booties. I didn’t want Jackson to catch me in heels. Unlike everyone else we had encountered, Jackson would read into every single detail and figure out what Namjoon and I were really up to.

Once I had my shoes on, I took my personal bag and one of the book bags. “Is it fine if I leave the rest here? They’re far too heavy,” I said as I stared at the other two bags on the floor.

Namjoon nodded. “Sure. Are you free for lunch tomorrow? I can bring one to you.”

I nodded, already feeling excited for tomorrow.

He pushed open the door and allowed me to go first. We made our way down the hall and through security before reaching our very needy friend.

Jackson looked slightly irritated. “Finally,” he huffed. But then he eyed me up and down, a suspicious look in his eye.

I put up my defenses. “What?”

“What were you two doing? It’s late.” Jackson's eyes went to Namjoon next.

“Work,” I said in a tone that let him know I thought it was a dumb question. I turned to Namjoon. “Be sure he pees regularly; otherwise, he’s gonna have another accident,” I sent Jackson a teasing look.

Jackson turned a little flustered. “For the last time, I didn’t pee on myself. Jinyoung spilled something on my pa—”

I loved getting him worked up, which was why I brought up a recent incident that involved a drunken him with wet pants and everyone accusing him of wetting himself. I cut him off. “Jinyoung doesn’t back up your lame-ass story. No one believes it, sweetie.”

Jackson was about to further defend himself, but Namjoon patted his friend on the shoulder. “Come on, let’s go. We’re already late.” He was holding back his laughter.

“Remember to take sips of water in between drinks,” I called out as I left.

“I didn’t pee on myself!” Jackson called out, but then he noticed he had said that a little too loud. Some of the staff were now looking at him.

Namjoon began to laugh.

I waved at them, Jackson narrowing his eyes at me in a comical way. I made my way to the entrance door of the building. As I was about to walk out, I turned one last time.

Jackson was looking down at his phone as he ranted about something and Namjoon locked eyes with me from across the building. He showed me his deep dimples and gave me a small wave.

I made sure Jackson wasn’t looking before I sent him a wink. There were still plenty of people around us. I didn’t want to raise suspicion.

He responded with a sweet wink back as I walked out.

--------------------------

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30

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#bts rm #rm x reader #bts #inthemiddleofthenight #bangtan sonyeondan #bts fanfic #friends to lovers #fluff #secret relationship #rm #Spotify #rm x maya #namjoon fanfic #namjoon x reader

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forsakenoathkeeper · 3 years ago

Text

I Am Alive (chapter 30/?)

Chapter 30: Where the Skies End

Deviant!Connor[RK800] x (fem!)Reader Rated M(18+) for canon-typical violence and gore, medical procedures, and graphic sexual content

Chapters: 1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9 • 10 • 11 • 12 • 13 • 14 • 15 • 16 • 17 • 18 • 19 • 20 • 21 • 22 • 23 • 24 • 25 • 26 • 27 • 28 • 29 • 30 • more coming soon

[ You can also read on AO3 ]

Unsurprisingly, and much to your frustration, Connor had finished the move without you. There might not have been much left to move at that point; but, it was your stuff at a house that you rented, and not Connor's responsibility in the slightest.

But, there was no telling the android that, and you knew that he would have been well equipped with plenty of reasons as to why he could handle the rest of the move alone: you needed rest, he didn't require sleep, etc, etc.

When you stepped off the elevator into the android's - and now your - apartment, Connor had a look on his face, as if you had come home for the first time in years. You had only spent a week at Hank's place, and only a day and some odd hours at the hospital prior to that, and Connor had been nearly inseparable from you the entire time; yet, it felt like ages since you had been here.

It was only then that the weight of your near death experience became apparent. Before, your life, or the loss of it, wouldn't have impacted anyone else. It was just you in that little house, trying to make a living, picking up the pieces of a war and watching humanity change astronomically.

Now, there was a life that would be changed if you were gone. You let yourself imagine how Connor would cope, what would become of him, and struggled to keep the sorrow to yourself.

Perhaps, for the first time in your life, you knew what it was like to be needed.

Your wound healed remarkably in the weeks that followed. The scar left behind was star shaped and your skin was darkened around the sunken surface. But, you didn't find yourself hating it as much as you thought you would.

It wasn't something you looked at with pain or regret, but rather something prideful. Maybe there was something masochistic about it, not that you found yourself bothered by that realization.

Your coworkers thought it looked 'pretty cool' and declared that it made you 'quite the badass'. Now, you could wear the badge of 'I've been shot', with a bizarre story to tell. You didn't care if people thought it was strange, letting yourself get shot for an android.

Connor was much more than 'just' an android. He was the man you loved, who carried an astronomical burden you could barely understand. Sure, you could judge the weight, the pressure; but, you, an ordinary human, couldn't possibly understand what he felt as the target of a revolution that would change humanity forever.

The thoughts became clearer as you and Connor stepped into Haven for the last time, and you took in the emptiness, the quiet, and the cold.

"One moment," Connor advised you, stepping away and into the open space in the center of the room.

RK800, like all androids, had no true sense of temperature. Connor couldn't feel cold the way humans did. His artificial skin wasn't going to prickle with goosebumps and his muscles wouldn't shiver from the discomfort.

His HUD could report the weather if he enabled it and he had various feedback modules to inform him of how the temperature would affect a human, with the rightful assumption one would be in his presence.

Yet, despite this very well known limitation of his being, Connor couldn't explain how he managed to feel so cold as he stood there in the very abandoned Haven.

He was aware that warmth could be metaphorical, symbolic of belonging and comfort. His sense of cold was both literal and figurative in this sense. Without any machines running, all the lights turned off, Haven had become very cold. The halls, once busy with androids, were now empty, and the building was silent if not for the creaking walls.

-until someone walked through the distant corridor, their quiet footsteps rattling in Connor's acute hearing module.

There was an apology on the tip of Connor's tongue when he caught the sight of Markus. However, the RK200's stare wasn't cold or untrusting. There was something undeniably regretful on his face, conveying sympathy to the fellow android.

Markus' mismatched eyes caught the sight of you over Connor's shoulder, and spared a sad expression.

The two androids had agreed to meet here, for the last time in circumstances like this, hopefully. Once the final bill was passed, and androids would be proper citizens, there would be no need for this.

However, Connor had yet to obtain a definitive lead on Reaves' accomplices. This, at the very least, could provide some security for the androids that came before him.

"I know you didn't want me to," Markus began. "But, I will tell them it's from you. They should know."

"It's... your choice," Connor replied quietly, hoping to mask the uncertainty in his tone.

The two androids took each other's wrists, pushing the fabric of their jackets out of the way to touch skin to skin. Connor knew that Markus trusted him. He took the file without even bothering to scan it first. Only once it was already saved on his local system did he bother to analyze it.

The detective android had worked on that during your recovery week, while he laid beside you in low power mode. He reviewed the log files on his internal firewall over a thousand times, and crafted additional security protocols, specifically designed around write protection. Factory defaults, if he could help it, would be near impossible.

Markus could share this new code with other androids. If Connor failed to stop it in time, at the very least, their memory modules would be protected from brute force attacks, cyberlife certified or otherwise.

As their hands parted, Connor seemed to understand why he felt so cold. He had grown accustomed to how your skin felt - how human skin felt. Even when you weren't acutely aware of it, you were always warm.

"You're one of us," Markus declared, his hand dropping to his side. "We couldn't have done this without you. Your sacrifices need to be known."

"Sacrifices," Connor parroted quietly, doubtful.

He thought about Reaves' disbelief, at how he prioritized saving your life over securing the future of his kind. He could have killed you, carried on the mission, secured all of the chips and brought the android protestors to absolute surrender.

But, he didn't.

Before you, what had he gambled, if not his own life? A life that, by the very words of his creators, didn't exist, was meaningless, just programs executed in succession. He had questioned the very existence of his own life, but so had every android before him.

Still, the determined look on Markus' face didn't falter.

"Until we meet again," he offered, nodding at his fellow android. His eyes landed on yours before he turned away, and you offered him a sad, small wave.

As Connor passed, he took his hand in yours and guided you out of the building with careful steps. It was unnecessary to bring you here, but he understood the importance of goodbyes, and didn't want you to believe your efforts here had been in vain.

You expected to be driven home after that; however, as you climbed into the car, Connor asked, "would it be alright if we went to the park for some fresh air?"

"-'course," you replied softly, shifting your gaze from the android's face to look out the window.

Connor was uncharacteristically quiet during the drive, his hands gripping the steering wheel in a death lock. You didn't pay much mind to it, figuring he was stressed after everything that had happened. You had been the one on death's door; yet, Connor was the one seemingly always on the edge of a nervous breakdown.

It was worrying; but, you knew he needed to work through it in his own way.

At the park, Connor had hoped you would head straight for the bridge, to a place you had cherished so much. If his research was accurate, this needed to be done at a special place. As he followed you slowly up the curve, feet tapping against the boards, a wave of doubt washed over him.

You looked stunning, standing upright for the first time in weeks, with pep in your step, the sun soaking up your hair. Could he really have this? Could he even think himself allowed for such a thing? Could an android truly understand the needs of a human?

"You alright?" you called out to him, pausing before you reached the apex of the bridge.

It snapped him out of his stupor, and Connor replied softly, "I'm fine."

You continued and he followed, counting the steps despite how unnecessary it was. The android knew he had never been this scared in his life. This type of sensation was really, really unpleasant. His processors were giving him ridiculous warnings that didn't pertain at all to the situation.

He shut off the alerts and met you at the top of the bridge. His hand slid over the railing, analyzed the material as a strong timber, coated with a lacquer color called 'cedar brown', manufactured by-

Connor quickly closed the analyzed results, realizing how pointless that was. He was distracting himself, busying his processor with his manufactured purpose to avoid something he was definitely not made for.

At the top of the bridge, you turned to the man standing beside you, just in time to see him deactivate his human skin. His gaze met yours, and you smiled at the sight of RK800, as he was made, without the imitation of human-likeness.

For a moment, he stood there and let the heat of the sunlight catch on his sensor processors. The human tone of his factory issued skin flickered back on briefly before shutting back off, as Connor mentally questioned if he should do it like this.

The sudden nervous expression on his face, and his flickering pallet, had you concerned. In the sunlight, you could catch the subtle flaws in the design of his optics: the faint glimmer of a camera lens hidden beneath the almost perfect human appearance.

"Are you sure you're okay?" you asked, suddenly reaching for him. Your hand fell into the curve of his elbow.

"There's-" Connor began, stopping himself when a jogger passed the bridge. He was silent until they were gone.

"There's something important I need to ask you," Connor explained, his voice quiet and hoarse. "I'm sorry for not being more forthcoming. I was afraid."

Despite the obvious implications of what that question was, your head swarmed with the worst possibilities. The detective android, who had stormed a building of armed men to rescue you, who never hesitated to take a bullet for anyone, was afraid of something?

"Connor," you murmured, his name falling from your lips without purpose. The concern, however, was heavy in your tone.

"Before I ask, you need to know that you can refuse. There is no obligation, despite what we have been through. I won't hold any negative feelings towards you. From my research, this is premature, and I apologize for that," Connor babbled.

"What?" you blurted. "Connor, what are you - what's wrong?" you insisted, pitch rising as you started to panic.

"Nothing is wrong," he replied sharply.

He stepped back, just enough to create a few inches between you. You watched him reach into his coat pocket and pull out a small box. Mind hazy with the aftermath of Reaves' attack, you feared Connor was going to present you with evidence, that the case had taken a dangerous turn, or even inform you with the worst possible news.

But, then, Connor, cupping the small box in his palm, knelt down onto one knee. He looked up at you, brown eyes bright in the sunlight, android skin white as freshly fallen slow, failing to conceal the crease in his brow as worry sank in. The box opened, but you were too focused on his face to bother looking inside.

"Will you marry me?"

You could have laughed, at yourself, really, for thinking he was going to talk to you about Reaves, about factory-resetting computer chips, and the potential downfall of androids.

Instead, you let out a choked gasp. It was pathetically wet and embarrassingly loud. It all came pouring out before you could even think to stop it. Connor's nervous expression melted into panic when you started crying hysterically.

He was shifting to stand up, an apology hot on his tongue. He could feel his processors heating up, threatening to lock up at the sight of your tear-soaked face. It had his internal processes soaring, questioning if he had misinterpreted your relationship, your feelings for him.

You flung yourself into him before he could stand up, knocking the jewelry box right out of his hand. It clattered noisily on the bridge. If Connor was human, he would have followed; but, he was sturdy and, even unprepared, managed to stay upright as you crashed into him. His knees hit the bridge and his hands cautiously cupped your back.

"Yes!" you cried out, pressing your cheek into his coat, some odd centimeters from his thirium pump.

Your arms squeezed at his back, hands clawing into the thick fabric of his coat. Connor was unmoving, stiff where you clung to him. The artificial movements he made to appear more human had ceased, and you briefly feared he had powered down.

"Yes," you declared again, softer this time, squeezing him even tighter.

Finally, his systems relented and he properly relayed to his processor what you had just said. His arms wound around your back and, for the first time in weeks, Connor hugged you tightly, as if he wasn't afraid that he might hurt you. You could feel the tightening of his fingers tugging at your blouse, the thirium pump in perfect beats inside his chassis.

"Yes," you said again.

His cheek fell against your hairline and he closed his eyes. He wanted to dig his fingers past the fabric of your clothes, to feel your skin in a hopeless attempt to interface. Even if he could only reach your body, even if your mind was out of reach, that was good enough.

"Yes," again.

For now, the ring laid forgotten in its case, the jewelry box sitting some odd feet away, flipped on its side.

#rk800 x reader #connor x reader #deviant connor x reader

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