#I feel such normal things all the time
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it’s okay, you’re going to heaven
#I feel such normal things all the time#‘I am an angel after all’#thinking about Volume 6 again#csm#csm fanart#csm angel#csm aki#csm part 1#csm spoilers#chainsaw man#chainsaw man aki#chainsaw man angel#chainsaw man spoilers#religious imagery#religious rhetoric
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Bonus round! Do you use a queue tag?
#ive been super curious about this because people seem to have really strong opinions on the queue! so many people seem to HATE it#but i love using the queue! i dont really know exactly why i like it so much- i started using in like... 2016 and its a fundamental part of#my tumblr experience now. i think i started off just using it for offline hours so id hit most my american mutuals (/ for aes posts)#but these days basically everything goes in my queue (cept time sensitive things & like. current hype and original posts-#anything 'normal' posting is in the queue)#idk it feels. nice to me! i like to spread out my posting and not rb 30 things in half an hour and then disappear for the rest of the day#esp since my spaces are so circular- the same post runs on my dash a dozen times minimum. and i get to put it on ur dash a week late!!!#and its so nice to have small interactions with mutuals in incompatible timezones; to open up my notifications in the morning#and go: oh! my friends were here <3#its such a Part of the tumblr experience for me i dont think i could ever truly change now. maybe switch to timed queueing#but my availability changes so much i prefer to just. know i guess#but (i am so sorry for all that) im curious about how other people feel!!!!!! itd be so interesting to hear abt why people do/do not like i#i know some people like the experience of spamming and going. some people think it makes this seem to much like influencing or whatever#everyone has their reasons and i want to know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#nyxtalks#poll#queue#no see answers option because you must fall into one of these
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💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖
For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!
The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^
What's been added to the 3.5 version?
📺 Streamer Mode!
I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.
Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh
This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!
⚙️ Custom Pronouns!
It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;
Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!
💗 Choose how others perceive you!
You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.
For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!
📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!
You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3
Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!
I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;
I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao
📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!
You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!
Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!
I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;
It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)
🖤 Additional Scenes Update!
Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!
If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.
After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga
🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!
I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!
I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.
Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.
How to download and play the update?
(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!
Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)
Enjoy!!
#14 days with you#14dwy#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — updates.#🖤 — spoilers.#I'm not gonna say much about my current doxxing situation because I've got it under control now + it's being handled privately#Plus I don't wanna give it/the people involved any unnecessary attention. I just wanna announce the update and Get Back To It™️#(''it'' bein the grind 💪 It never stops lmao /silly)#OG followers will also know that these topics aren't the vibe I normally have on this blog (or any of my accounts); so I don't think I'll—#—make ANOTHER public post about the situation and bring more attention to it (when I just want everything to be over and put to rest ^^;)#However I also don't want people to think that I'm... ignoring?? the situation entirely (because gettin doxxed is a very endangering thing)#So I DO want to quickly acknowledge it here and say that it's all currently handled + I'm safe and okay + this won't stop me from—#—continuing to work on 14DWY (and other future projects). I also don't want to give these awful people more power and incentive to continue#—this kind of pathetic behaviour; so the less attention and encouragement being shown will ultimately be better in the long run :3#Aaaaaanways!! 😮💨#My other accounts will be restored shortly and my askbox will be opened once I feel comfortable. I'll get around to following folks—#—again in my own time; so please don't feel offended if I unfollowed you during a moment of vulnerability and anxiety!!#This is all EXTREMELY overwhelming and scary for someone with SAD/AvPD; and I /gen can't handle seeing it all over my timeline ;v;#Sorry this got ranty and personal again hjdsgjsdh T_T I said I wouldn't say much; so I'll shut up now hehe#🖤 — shut up sai.
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alternate surface au inspired by a few ive seen around on tumblr :3
#my art#pressure roblox#roblox pressure#sebastian solace#painter pressure#thought more abt my headcanons for seb’s anatomy and like. lol that tail is not pure muscle hes got guts in there.#that + the fact that there’s spinal cord in there means itd be a bad idea to try and amputate it#the wagon/eventual wheelchair is mostly for outdoor use i imagine.#<- specificallt]y for outdoor surface textures/debris that’d be bad for him to slither on#also. chronic pain have i dont think suddenly shrinking his whole body did much good for that#i imagine he and painter have like. a pool. to help with that and other needs he has now.#but he wouldnt wanna use it for a long while#there was a sort of. disconnect between his idea of freedom from urbanshade vs the reality of it i think.#like. thinking things could. on some level. go back to normal#and not considering that some of his mutations would be irreversible#and having to confront/cope with/accomodate himself about that#seb wants to be normal again but we cant all get what we want can we!#sometimes healing involves working with or around irreversible change buddy!#btw if feligayzed sees this. hiii hii your au was one of the big things that kicked my brain off on this and i wanna make fanart sometime#oh yeah this is . also.#sebpainter#pressure pathways#pathways#wow i dont think ive written a wall of tags that big in a long time. can you tell im having normal feelings about them
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"it must be the caffiene."
"...? we didn't have anything caffinated?"
//
CHILAIOS WEEK DAY 2 : Changeling
HI THIS IS SUPER LATE BUT ART HAS BEEN. HARD. AND YES I SKIPPED ONE DAY THAT ONE IS GONNA GO LAST BECAUSE ITS TAKING SO LONG TO MAKE.... ill get to the others when i find the time.
Bonus :
#its been soooo long since ive made a finished artwork... or at least it FEELS like so long#i just keep starting new things and dropping them that i cant remember the last time i did something finished even if its recent#anyways. deadlines always make me stressed so i had to give myself/get 5093839 peptalks to finish this#ANYWAYS ANYWAYS.#look at these disasters#the 'half-foots can hear heartbeats' headcanon is one of my favourites of all time#i think about it alot....#also by the way. yes they imagine themselves here as normal but with the other's clothes.#i dont know how to explain my thoughts on it so just take it as you will#GRRGHHKKK IM OBSSESSED WITH THEM#chilaios week#chilaios#chilchuck#chilchuck tims#laios#laios touden#aaaand im not tagging anything else out of embarassment
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Thank you all for an incredible 500 days of love and support. I offer you: answers to questions that no one has asked.
(As always, more can be found in the tags <3)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#a-qing#jin ling#wen ning#jiang cheng#“Hey wait this feels like there should have been way more content for questions” Yes. There was.#I was not strong enough to redraw *all* of what was lost. Rest in piece the original (lost to tea related accident)#But I'll tell you all the fun other things that would have been drawn out right here in the tags!#Did you know my longest posting streak was 61 days? And my longest hiatus was 6 days?#Did you know I missed posting on 92 days of those 500 days - meaning I posted 82% of the time on a daily basis?#I'm normal about collecting data. I have so much data on this blog for normal reasons. I'm also so normal about art. The normalest.#Honorable mention for the character rankings: Lan Wangji! for “Most improved in rank”.#Sorry Lan Wangji fans but until the audio drama I honestly was...pretty indifferent towards him.#I think a huge part of that was due to the fact he's constantly paired up with WWX; who has *so* much charisma and steals the scene#But I've really come to like him a lot more since starting this project. He rose from mid-tier to being in the top ten!#Dishonorable mention: Nie Huaisang. Who fell out of number 1 spot and out of the top 5.#He just hasn't shown up a lot! And my rankings are fickle! They will probably change once I finish the third season!#My favourite comics are: A lot of them! And the ones I have yet to make!#I'm very sleepy at the moment while writing this but I do want to give a huge shout out to YOU.#Yeah! you reading this! Thank you! If you've been here since the first week or just started reading: THANK YOU!#If you've only ever lurked and never even liked a single post but still read my comics: THANK YOU!!#In creating this blog - I have found 500 days of more happiness that I could have ever imagined.#Thank you for joining me on this journey. Thank you for giving me your time and your support.#It means more than any 'thank you' could say B'*)
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favourite thing: his new habit of saying uhuh/mhm and also this
#the first time he did it in unmortricken i was like Fuck Yes and little did i know he would just keep doing it the whole time#DESPERATELY hoping they keep both of these things. i Love when characters have tiny little habits sprinkled in their actions#to me these things kinda sorta symbolise him no longer being afraid to really be himself#like he no longer has to hide certain things about himself that inside of the cfc wouldve made him appear ‘suspicious’#since he IS like so much different than any other morty ever#also barely related but like. em is fundamentally such a good character bc everytime we see him he’s feeling something different#in his first appearance he was cold and distant because at the time he was new to being free and was strictly focused on his goal and wasn’#even sure if it would work#in his second appearance he seemed hopeful and honest both of these things just being a trap to get the people of the citadel to trust him#and his old colder self unfurling near the end after he successfully becomes president#in his third appearance he seems giddy almost. he’s constantly giggling before and after sentences and he’s super eager to just Get The Hel#Out. and also to reveal the truth to morty prime. make it so that he doesn’t have to be the one to shoulder everything anymore.#and this fourth appearance. apart from a few little details he really just seems happy and comfortable. the entire episode he was just doin#whatever he wanted and nobody got in his way at all. and i could not be happier#normal about this character!#rick and morty#evil morty#rick and morty spoilers#odiespeak
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Still getting used to drawing them but I'm happy with how this turned out so I will post it :)
#last night while i was trying to sleep i closed my eyes and saw blitz with hyper realistic bloodshot eyes and then i woke up nauseous#its the way theyre the only thing on my mind rn#i can and totally would make analysis's.s..'s on each and every scene involving these two#stolitz duet soon how we feeling im feeling hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#im hhhhhhhhhhh#im also working on such a normal thing involving blitz did you know blitz is my favorite character i love him and hate him a lot so much#i really love the idea of blitz being clingy after him and stolas actually make things official btw#also obsessed with blitz climbing stolas all the time like a bug or perhaps a lizard#stolitz.......................... <3.. uhghghhh..#just like 21-ish days till full moon release date reveal hahahahahahahaha#nillyart#nillyfanart#helluva boss#blitzø#blitz#stolas#stolas goetia#stolitz#stolas x blitz#hellaverse
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oh okay heres one:
"sleepaway camp"= you go there for at least a few days, a week, sometimes several weeks, and sleep there, as opposed to a """camp""" where you go for the day and your parents or whoever picks you up afterward (those arent really camps, but like. idk when i went to "space camp" it was a weeklong but not sleepaway). in the U.S. at least, the typical image of a sleepaway camp involves staying in cabins, dunno how common it is/what it looks like in other countries.
for the first few i just mean like. not necessarily a stealth church camp, just like. idk, a camp where theres also an Assumption Of Christianity and just general vibes without being actually church camp. So, there might not be daily services and jesusy dedicatwd activities, but maybe theres still a prayer said over meals and shit. Which i assume might exist...
(oh and @reblogforsamplesize if u wanna)
#buzzy#poll#polls#personally: yes i went several times#and i enjoyed it bc. camp!!! yay!!!#but the Church part of it. complicated feelings on that matter#mine were all weeklong camps#went every year for a few years i hink#it was fun bc again YAY CAMP!!! and the ones i went to were like huge things#they had cool water stuff like The Blob and waterslides and some fun games and shit#you could do paintball#and i wasnt like. NOT christian at the time. but i also Wasnt Really Feeling It#i was mostly into it bc. camp.#...maybe i should have asked my parents if i could just go to one of the normal summer camps instead lmao#like the 6 week ones or st#that coulda been fun ....#so my answer is Its Complicated#i did like. participate in the jesus side of things. but i was also kinda knowingly faking it u kno?#i remember one time during a service i started having a bit of a panic attack (mostly bc of the MASSVE crowd. this was a huge ass camp)#but i still had to like. stay. still do everything. my pastor was being nice about it but still was like :( well you cant leave#i remember that was the day we did some shit outside w torches#like. carrying torches in a big procession like some sorta ritual thing ig. fuck if i know.#and i was like crying while following the procession and trying to stop#(the crying STARTED un the megachurch extremely loud giaant speaker GET PUMPED UP!!! area and continued to the torches)#thars my stringest memory from church camp aside from when i fcking DEMOLISHED the frozen t shirt game#(they gave a few ppl on stage frozen t balled up shirts and it was like 'okay first one to unball it and put it on wins!!!')#(and while the two boys i was up against started trying to tear it open with their hands i just#(in my cute lil butterfly shirt and pretty skirt started SMASHING IT AGAINST THE GROUND FULL BODY AAAUUGGHH and broke that shit)#(i was sooo proud of mysekf and my oastors wife thiught it was Unladylike of me but i fucjing won. the boys copied me after a sec)#(but it was too late i won :) anyway yeah like i said mixed feelings u kno. anyway go blue beetles woooo!!!!!
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do not give me a man because i will make them my housewife and also fat probably
#i spend my time doing things i swear are important and then i totally forget what exactly i did and feel like ive done nothing all day#i have to write a 20 chapter slow burn abt how i save him and i domesticate him and we live a normal life and we're like married#so i can justify drawing him soft but i will just dream for now#sebastian solace#my art
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Based on somewhat real events
I spent way too much time drawing this...
But yeah, Ford finally saying thank you
A continuation (kinda)
#sometimes my skin smells too strongly and I hate it. I wanna crawl up and die. it's not that bad usually#only when I'm already overstimulated#there were 2 times where I was sick and I started crying and almost threw up because the smells were too strong#one time the smell of tge city. the other time it was roasted chicken. I still feel sick when I smell reheated chicken to this day#I'd love to have someone comfort me and rub my back in these moments but 1. I don't want anyone to touch me and#2. I feel like I don't deserve to be touched because it's an inconvenience to others#anyway enough about me. I am now projecting in these characters#I hate drawing their faces so much#gravity falls#stanford pines#ford pines#young stanford pines#stan pines#stanley pines#young stan pines#art#fanart#traditional art#comic#long post#watercolor#forgot to mention but I can't take a shower when the sun is still up except if I was swimming in a pool/sea. no specific reason I just can'#projecting to Ford because Stan would never feel like that :/ oh well#is this cringe? maybe. probably. do I care? no. not really#I'm self diagnosing myself with 'definitely something wrong but not further specified' because this can't be normal#btw sorry if this is disappointing. I tried my best (the first part is pretty neat imo)#wonder if anyone is gonna read all of these tags#is this the worst thing you've seen yet?#teen stan#teen ford
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i get such a sense of primal envy when looking at edwin’s clothes up close because god you can just tell his coat is real wool and made to last and not cheap flimsy mass produced garbage and auggagghhhh that was just STANDARD in his time. by no means am i saying i was #borninthewronggeneration because i like having vaccines and household appliances but. man. to have a personally-tailored coat like that that’d last for years and years……. and fabrics of fine thread-dense quality………. if only
#edwin would be so disgusted by shein products can you fucking imagine#i mean he’d be disgusted by most mass produced brand/off-brand clothing but fast fashion shit like that would be the Worst#thank god for the fact that I don’t think anyone in the group would wear that kinda shit. for wildly different reasons#crystal wouldn’t because why the fuck would she. she can afford the most expensive high quality shit on the market. and even if she goes#thrifting you can just tell if something looks/feels like cheap garbage she’d not even touch it#niko’s a fashion icon and constantly changing her outfits BUT she seems like the type who loves repurposing old clothing/re-arranging things#in her wardrobe and making different combinations rather than buying new clothes all the time and wasting perfectly good clothing#plus she wasn’t raised in America and likely did not get normalized to fast fashion#charles doesn’t because. well#you know.#ghost. and whatnot#even so I doubt his parents bought him clothes that often so he’d have to either save up the money to buy stuff he wants (probably thrifted)#or repurpose old clothes in various ways. his coat absolutely looks high quality and I bet he saved up like crazy for it#rambling#edwin#dead boy detectives#edwin payne
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oh pondue where art thou have gone
#I’ve had really bad art block/brain rot things and recently I got all 4 of my wisdom teeth taken out (I was conscious for all of it)#so I was bedridden for week and have slowly been feeling ~somewhat normal~ again#the mental mess is still there tho#but we push on#anyways stream brat#and also stream the deluxe version of brat#I’d like to think Rick is listening to either club classics or von dutch#the track I have been going back to tho is everything is romantic#but the entire album including the deluxe is a no skip for me#love yapping in the tags#ok officially tag time#Rick and Morty#Rick Sanchez#rick and morty fanart#rick sanchez fanart#pondart#Rick Sanchez c137
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no because really, i think stede is operating in a way he thinks will win him respect. i think he's operating in a way he thinks is the expectation. i don't think he likes it, and i don't think it's "him," but i think he enjoys the positive reinforcement from everyone around him. he's literally never had that before in his life.
he was bullied as a child for what he enjoyed. he was cast aside by his father for being himself. the crew threatened to mutiny against him or even just flat-out kill him because he was too "weak."
and here he is trying to pull himself up out of maelstrom of mistakes. "he's been a failure his whole life." he's trying to do everything he can to rectify that. he wants to be the lighthouse for his crew. he wants to be a good captain. he wants to be a good pirate. he wants to be a good lover. he wants to be something.
and he was actually getting there himself--he just didn't realize it. listening to his crew more, showing them kindness, leading them when they were lost and had no place to go, putting his own grief on hold and taking back the revenge...
he was getting there! but still, he was surrounded by those haunting expectations, by the fear that it wasn't enough.
the whole conversation between he and ed where ed is encouraging him to command respect/be tougher. the whole conversation between he and izzy where izzy says he's "never met anyone with a total lack of skills." zheng saying that she didn't "conquer china by letting people go on and on about their feelings."
not to mention the goading from ned. "once you kill me, you're a real pirate. you're not an amateur." "see? that's why he likes you. your bumbling amateur status."
it all keeps swimming circles around him, looming above his head like a shadow.
he thinks he has something more to prove. he thinks he has to be more. even though his own methods work, like ned's crew turning on him simply because stede showed kindness and understanding, all these phantoms keep telling him it isn't enough and that the other methods are more effective.
because he kills, and looks visibly shaken by it, but his crew cheers. he grabs ed by the collar despite them wanting to take things slow, and they grow intimate. he walks into jackie'z after it all, a place where he was previously banished from, and is treated like a sort of pirate hero.
it's not him. "we don't just banish people, do we? that's not us."
but it's encouraged. it's celebrated. so he thinks it should be.
#OFMD#OFMD Season 2#OFMD S2 Spoilers#Stede Bonnet#Revenge Rambles#WHEW#listen#listen listen#i have trust#i have faith#i really truly believe he's just caught up way WAY too much in all of this#that he's in WAYYYYY over his head#that he's riding the wave of FEELING like someone#and isn't really taking anything else into account#because like#idk man#as someone who has struggled to fit in and struggled to be respected/treated well by my peers through school#i did some things that i would normally not do#i acted in ways uncharacteristic for me#and i thought i enjoyed them at the time#i rode the thrill of getting approval from everyone else#but looking back on it now#it was absolutely NOT worth it and was not something i'd do presently#i just did it simply because i thought i had to#and i think that's more of what's going on with stede right now
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thinking about how Sypha described Alucard like a "cold spot in a room" in S2, and Alucard showing up at the end of Nocturne S1 looking all desaturated, though yes ethereal, but also in a sense cold and ghostly, all buttoned up at the front. Sypha saying his sadness being like an icy well. And here he'd been so soft and happy by the S4 finale 😭 I'm nervous- but excited. And I fear the new groupie got some walls to tear down
#pleasepleaseplease don't allow him to just be all professional and impersonallll#like his voice isn't completely dispassionate. and I feel like some of this attitude must be from his age and experiences.#like there's a sense of maturity and security as well. just- yea.#I wonder if the series will touch more upon alucard's vampire side now and how he feels about it... he's looking the part#and he's beyond a normal human life time by far#I'd enjoy it.#he's had some more experience plotting against vampires tho I guess. considering the whole “we need a plan” thing with the group but they#did succeed making a more proper plan at the end 👍 regardless of its failure. that's just one of the canon events#castlevania#castlevania nocturne#nocturne spoilers#my rambles#castlevania spoilers
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Being a perfectionist is actually the worst thing to have happened to me because why am I chronically all or nothing about everything in my life
#Not even saying this in an omg I’m so quirky way like no this is a PROBLEM#Caught myself thinking that maybe while I’m embarking on an intense study camp I should just like#Neglect doing anything that feeds my soul or just ensures I’ll be mentally well enough by the time I take the national test I wanna take#But it’s not just that like I’m all or nothing w EVERYTHING#All or nothing w friends all or nothing w hobbies etc etc#Someone tell that girl things are a spectrum#I don’t mean to gatekeep this but anyone who’s liek “heehee im such a perfectionist!!” while kicking their feet and giggling doesn’t get it#Sure your work pays off when you’re like that but it’s also unsustainable#I’ve burned out so fast before / fallen off the wagon bc I’m not normal about things I undertake#I actually want to know how it feels like to be normal about things
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