#I feel soooooo fucking dogs lately

[purrality]

really weird to realize but I think seeing my own icons influences who scrolls tumblr LOL

[maiverie]

Hahaha… heyyy…

Long time no talk maiverie 😜‼️ I totally like didn’t disappear off of the Earth of Tumblr… or did I.?? 😳😳 I REALLY REALLY MOST DESPERATELY hope that you’re doing well bffl!! I WILL ALWAYS RESPOND TO YOU FROM NOW ON UNTIL I FEEL LIKE ITS TIME FOR ME TO JUMP INTO MY DARK HABIT OF GHOSTING TUMBLR 😚🫶 BIG NEWS. I’m ngl… but I’m kind of leaning towards Heeseung bias.. BUT. Jake will always be ma numba 1 hyperpuppy boy ☝️I KNOW.. WHO THE HELL AM I?1!?1 I DONT EVEN KNOW ME ANYMORE T-T ! MY WHOLE BLOG IS DEDICATED TO THAT MANS‼️

ANYWAYS DID YOU HEAR BOUT THAT P1HARMONY CONCERT?1!1? AND REX ORANGE COUNTY AND LAUV TOO?1!1? THERE ARE SO FUCKING MANYPEOPLE TOURING AUSTRALIA ITS SOOOOOO UNBELIEVABLE !!! I LITERALLY BARELY LISTEN TO THEM BUT I WANNA GO SOOOOO BAD 😫😫 but like what the hell I dont get paid enough to even afford those tickets 😟

I have no excuse to run away from you anymore. I hope you didn’t feel lonely :( ENOUGH OF DAT GLOOMY SHIT!! IM SO GLAD YOU HAVE SO MANY MOOTS NOW!! YOUVE GROWN SO MUCH ON THIS PLATFORM AND IM GENUINELY SO PROUD OF YOU T-T I will now be off to go read your works until like 3am and shed tears (+repost, like, let the whole world know and shed some more tears) I LOVE YOU LOADS MAIVERIE!! 🤍 ALSOOO HAPPY LATE VALENTINES DAY??? IK IM LIKE 5 MONTHS LATE BUT ITS WHATEVER… MUCH LOVE 🥰

- from dat bitch that always dips

SHUT THE FUCK UP SELENA YOURE HEEEREEEE???? 😭😭😭😭😭😭 im actually gna kms i missed u a lil too much i’m gna cry 😭😭😭😭😭😭

KSJEKSJWLWIJDAKADKA i didn’t actually expect a reply CMONNNN it’s been months ☹️💖 (i ghosted tumblr too for a few months but it’s okay we both have our faults and we’re still perfect amazing sexy ppl 🫂) ALSO SHUT UPPPP THAT IS THE BIGGEST NEWS EVER IAKEKWLFJLSS IM CRYYINGGGF idk if u rmb but i used to be jay biased 😭 you 🤝 me 🤝 succumbing to heeseung BUT PSLSSS HELPP IM SO EXCITED FOR U (i can finally call u my fave heetual 😽) SO WHAT CHANGED UR MIND ?? WAS BITE ME THE FINAL STRAW ?? 🤭

OH MY GOD I DIDDD 😭😭😭😭 i’m literally confused bc at first it was that NOBODY was coming to aus and suddenly everybody and their dog wants to come 😭 also niki is coming?? taylor swift?? CHARLIE PUTH??? like hold upppp 😭😭

🥹🥹 NO BC SHUT UP WHY DID UR LASK GEN MAKE ME WANNA KMS IN A HAPPY SAD WAY IM 😭😭😭 NOOOOO BC U ARE MY DAY 1 😭💖🫵 I LOVE U SM WTH this acc has definitely grown a lot since the beginning but it makes me so proud and happy that you were a part of that 😭 nothing makes me happier than interacting w u so tysm for popping in ☹️💗 also it literally is so late GO TO SLEEP you’re like an hr ahead of me which means it’s 3:30???!!!!!$&”&:&;” btw as i was typing this i saw ur rb on bite by bite STOPP WHY ARE U READING IT GO AWAY 😭😭 naur cos it’s so different from my usual writing style BUT PLS IM GLAD IT WAS OKAY 😭💖💖💖💞

anyway i miss u i love u HAPPY BELATED VALENTINE’S DAY thank you for stopping by MWAH MWAH MWAH appreciate u loads 😽😽 hope u are keeping warm for winter && work + uni are going well 😵‍💫 vvvv exciting news that u r now heeseung biased I CANT BE MORE PROUD 🤭😈 love u long long long time my fave KEEP SAFE PLEASE EAT WELL STAY HEALTHY BE HAPPY && AND I WILL BE HAPPY 💕💞💓💗💝💘💖

[illumiiiz]

heyy!! could you tell me about your killjoy selfship?? :D

HI!! <3 omg hi akfhabsakdn my whole body just perked up like a dog’s does when you say “walk” or “treat”

yes absolutely thank you so much for asking!!! truly I was never actually expecting someone to ask me abt that so I apologize for the late response; I had to organize my thoughts in a way that would actually make sense to other people lol. and I don’t know a ton of killjoy lore anyway so this may or may not make sense but!! oh well!!

soooo this is my killjoysona :DD I have yet to actually draw and color her properly but she’s basically me with cooler hair (she dyes it any time she can find new colors), better style, a dirt bike, and a ray gun. and a cooler boyfriend. her name’s Carbon Cavity. like I said she’s me but awesomer <3

here’s a sketch I did just for you + a picrew I made a while back (that’s as close as I could get w it lol but I really need to properly draw her soon,, aah)

anyways,, so the self ship part comes in when she’s dirt biking around and comes upon an old abandoned department store or something and is like, oh hey. I’ll just pop in there and raid some shit real quick. little did she know the Fab Four got there first and already figured out the building was all locked up so ghoul rigged up a bomb to blow the doors open and uh. had already taken cover for it to go off and it went off when she was like 50ft from the door 😀 so the four came back out and lo! a body on the ground! so they’re freaking the fuck out and she gets back up like wtf just happened?? and the four are like OH GOD ARE YOU OKAY and ofc she can’t hear a thing but her ears ringing bc a fucking bomb went off in her face basically so she ends up hanging around w them in the store til her ears stop ringing quite so much.

so she’s deaf in one ear from that lmao.

but anyhow she ends up following the four back to the diner cuz she’s just been going around crashing wherever anyway, might as well right? 🤷‍♀️ but turns out she’s cool and they’re cool and they all like each other so much she ended up never leaving hehe,, aaaand she liked fun ghoul the best <33 even tho she still brings up him blowing up a bomb practically in her face <333 (“I DIDNT FUCKING KNOW YOU WERE THERE!!”)

like she flirts by being mean (affectionately ofc) so originally she would just keep bringing up the bomb incident to ghoul to make fun of him kinda,, like she’d volunteer for first watch one night and he’s like no carbon you had it last night, I’ll take it this time it’s fine. and she’s all like “mmmm sorry bub I can’t hear ya that well… had this close encounter with some guy’s bomb going off, see? so I’m deaf in one ear now” and he’s just like 😑 … fuck you carbon. and she just giggles but she lets him take the watch anyway. but yeah so they mess with each other a lot and somewhere along the way they started doing it more for each other’s attention and less to be funny. AND on top of that she’s really affectionate (hugs the guys regularly, has sat in jet’s lap once in the trans am and in kobra’s once on a dare, and has fallen asleep on each of the four at least once), AND has to lean really close to them to hear them better sometimes bc yk. hearing problems. and they’re both kinda stupid so party, jet, and kobra literally figured out the other two liked each other soooooo long before the two even realized it lol.

anyways it all comes to fruition one night when they’re changing watches, carbon taking over from ghoul BUT ITS LIKE RLLY AWKWARD YK BC THEY’VE BOTH FIGURED OUT THEIR FEELINGS BY NOW BUT HAVENT FIGURED OUT THE OTHER PERSON’S,, LFHSKDJFJSK— so carbon heads out to wherever ghoul’s stationed and it’s like. she says hi and he says hey, and she kind of just expected him to hug her goodnight and go after that but he doesn’t so she sits with him in silence for a good while, sorta just waiting for him to go in to bed and also just trying to enjoy this rare alone time w him without overthinking it too much. eventually he scoots a little closer to her and puts his arm around her. she lays her head on his shoulder. still neither of them say anything for another ten minutes or so.

until finally she says, “ghoul?” it comes out quieter than she expected it to.

“hm.”

“you should go in and get some sleep, I’ll be fine out here.”

“mm, yeah… I guess you’re right.” and he nods a little but doesn’t take his arm away; she hasn’t lifted her head from his shoulder either.

another minute of silence. “you cold?”

she looks up at him. “sorry?”

he leans closer and repeats the question. she shakes her head ever so slightly and tries to ignore the way her heart skipped when he leaned down. “oh. no, I’m fine.” they haven’t broken eye contact since he first asked.

“you sure?” he says it quietly on purpose this time. when she inevitably inclined her head to have him say again, he leans in and kisses her cheek instead. (!!!!)

she pulls back slightly to look at him for barely a second, then leans in and kisses him proper !! aaaaaa -

eventually ghoul does go in and sleep :’) but not before a few more kisses and a very sweet confession discussion <3

and in the morning when they all get up, carbon hugs party, kobra, and jet good morning and she gets to ghoul and he kisses her instead <33 to which party goes FUCKING FINALLY YOU GUYS.. and kobra and jet exchange bets across the table,, alrjwkdjd

AAAND I’m gonna stop there bc I really need to go to bed but I really really wanted to answer this first akdhaksjak </3 thank you sm again for asking!!! this was so fun to ramble about :’D I could go on abt this forever probably so if you wanna hear more just lmk!! there are many antics in my brain I would loveee to talk abt sometime hehe

[angeleccstasy]

HAI thank you to @cutemotif mira for tagging me :3 i dont wanna bother too many ppl so !! @yuricel @bananahkim no pressure ofc :D

relationship status: single! uh well i cant really imagine being in a relationship rn. i just dont think i could find anyone i could befriend and become interested and i have weird queer teenager feelings abt my orientation AND i just dont think im ready for it luh mao :P

favorite color: PINK ^__^ im not insane abt it sorry but it is soooooo <3

song stuck in my head: I Bet on Losing Dogs Released in 2016 by Mitski from the album Puberty 2 :I COMBUST AND DIE HORRIBLY. oh yeah and also i was thinking abt once in a lifetime by talking heads earlier :D

last song i listened to: alice in the ruined country !! didnt finish it yet tho but yeah ive been trying to get into voca lately :]

3 favorite foods: sighs uhhh im so sorry im so boring i like fries and hashbrowns and chicken. and pizza. shrugs i could say more abt other stuff but eh whatevs and I Hate Weird Adhd Picky Eating </3

last thing i googled: ACTUALLY? IN THE MIDDLE OF MAKING THIS POST I GOOGLED SEVERAL THINGS TO CONFIRM STUFF LIKE THE ADHD PICKY EATING AND WHATEVER AJSGHSIQIS so aside from that i googled the term cinderellian to see if it was a real word i heard in a song? i dont think it is?

dream trip: oh ive thought abt this a few times previously and honestly? i still dont have an answer mmmhh well it would probably be so fucking boring and noob anime fan of me to say japan or korea KQOJSJAKQ so uh? idk ill have to think abt it some more ..

anything i want rn: if its a physical object, WELL I WOULD REALLY LIKE A NEW IPAD I THINK THIS FUCKING THING IM CURRENTLY USING HAS RUN ITS COURSE ^_^ BUT ALSO I NEEEEDD OH MY GOD I NEED TO FIND A WAY TO EXPORT ALL MY DATA FROM HERE TO THERE W/O EXPORTING MY PHOTOS BCUZ THEY HAVE just absolutely murdered all my goddamn space for no fucking reason. i love samsung products so much if procreate was on samsung tablets i would buy the shit out of one and fuck off from apple products forever until the end of time :[

[wanderingandfound]

Okay the weather is too warm to do any activity but it's been perfect for reading this lovely and long book in the shade of the trees and falling asleep in the shade of the porch.

My mom surprised me by making poppy stamps to cover up where my dye painting bled through on the costume. Unfortunately, sewing these on took her longer than expected and when I called her fifteen minutes after she said she'd be home, she was still at my grandma's over an hour away.

So I was an hour late to the costume tea party this dress was for.

My mom feels really really bad about it, so I can't voice any of these thoughts to her.

Getting there so late meant that when I arrived all eyes were on me and it was sensory overload so I declined all the snacks my friend's brother made and had a hard time with conversation. If I had gotten there at the beginning as people were arriving I could have acclimated better.

And it's fucking June and sunny and so EVEN WHILE I WAS THERE my depression was lurking telling me how I would miss this when it was over. Something held my tongue from asking for pictures even though I WANTED to and MEANT to.

There hasn't been a big crash, but even when I left (after the vast majority of people had left, except for my friend, her girlfriend, someone from book club waiting for a ride I think, and the other person dressed as Poppy whose ride (husband) had just arrived with their two dogs (dogs were my queue to go because the conversation would be nothing I'm interested in)) I was melancholy. I came home and immediately grabbed my book and sat in the grass as my old standby of distraction.

That was seven hours ago.

I'm still sad.

I think if I hadn't missed the first hour (out of around three, but people started leaving after less than two I think, including my other two friends) I wouldn't have been so sad and quiet at the event. But I don't know if I wouldn't be sad now. Might have been a steeper crash.

I wish I hadn't missed the first hour. I care less about the dress than seeing my friend. But my mom put soooooo many hours of work into this dress.

Still.

I wish.

[uweiy]

5, 10 & 25 please! <3

Thank uuuuuuuuu!!!!!! From this ask game.

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [insert fic]? Answer it now!

Hmmmmm oh good question. Oh I know. I wish someone would ask me how I feel now about the first fic I ever wrote! Which is Early Mornings and Late Nights (10k, Xicheng, The Untamed). And I would answer... It makes me chuckle fondly and quietly. Like at the time I was so proud of it. I thought it was perfect (it isn't). And it's like College AU!!! Me!! Who swears by Canon Universe!! But it was a project with a friend, it taught me a lot, and I still enjoy reading it. And it reminds me how much I've grown!

But honestly hm. I think some of my other, later Xicheng fics are better written. For extrying to hold on (to you), 1,6k, canon universe– to this day one of my faves, or you confused me with a fucking dog, 1,6k, college AU)

And idk what exactly but I wish someone would ask me a question about The Clearest Diamonds (3k, Bagginshield, The Hobbit) Just because... it doesn't fit much with any of my themes, I haven't advertised it anywhere, and I posted it suuuuper out of season and therefore haven't gotten much opportunity to talk about it haha

10. How do you decide what to write?

Simple! I live my life, BAM Idea pops into my head, demon takes control and I cannot do anything but write for a week and then I am content. For one day. Rinse and repeat.

No more seriously uhhh most my ideas are born out of spite, dissatisfaction with canon or where I wish canon had gone. Sometimes I'm not even sure what I wish for exactly until I've written it out.

I really loved taking prompts in the Untamed days because it enabled me to try out ideas that went beyond that!

They are all in the The Untamed/Mdzs Tumblr promts series btw.

Other times I just want to challenge myself. I would love to write a suuuuper angsty fic that makes people cry and weep just because that is soooooo difficult and not "natural" for me. So I have two snippets where I tried it out. (Those who bleed, 600 words, Wangxian,; The sky is blue, the grass is green, 1.3k, Steddie)

I would also like to write suuuuper long 200k plotty fics because that is, so not me. Haven't gotten around to that but. A dude can dream!

25. What other websites or resources do you use most often when you write?

WordHippo: "What is another word for...[insert word]" English is not my native language and sometimes I have a good enough word to say what I want to but I know there is a more perfect one out there. O love how many synonyms for a word it gives you, sorted by the different definitions of the word. Like 99,9% I am able to find the word I was looking for

Grammarly: You don't have a Beta-reader? Now you do! For grammar anyway. And any typo you might have missed.

The original material. When in doubt, listen to the character voices again, everything will fall in place.

Michelle Schustermann on YouTube gives amazing and clear writing advice imo.

Tumblr! I ask questions. People are always willing to help 😃🧡

Thank uuuuuu this was so fun to look back on!! Hope it answered the questions :)

My ao3

[kkusuka]

Not a request (but it could be in the future!) but picture this, the Inarizaki boys and predator and prey play. Their s/o wearing little bunny ears and a bunny tail plug with the boys wearing matching Fox ears and a Fox plug (if they're up for a little anal). Bonus points if they go out and buy a knotting cock sheath from the likes of Bad Dragon! 😂

i know this wasn’t a request but being a house pet for these men is one of my favorite late night ideas<3

i soooooo badly wanted to make this a poly thing but individual pet play scenarios will do.

fem! anatomy, gn! pronouns, content warnings are included with each individual scenarios!

kita shinsuke

a cow and it’s breeder<3

(cw: breeding)

kita let’s you think you’ve won. he lets you run around in your pretty little sundress, stuffed and plugged, the bell on your collar ringing louder then the music wafting through the house.

he watched ears flop as you skipped his way, the shake in your legs, an indication of what was happening under the flowing bottom of your spotted dress. you stopped in front of him, like good cows do, waiting for him to address you, a past issue that he knows you’d learned from— the punishment having been sucking him off during a team reunion, with the whole team there.

“go.” following his command, you turn, your back facing where he sat, pulling your dress up, giving him a view of your panty-less ass and stuffed holes. the double plug hadn’t moved an inch from where he’d placed them that morning.

reaching forward, pulling the plug from your holes, taking note of the slick coating your pussy and the hitch in your breath, happy seeing your body had completely taken all of his cum.

pulling you back onto his lap, situation you onto his cock. pulling at your collar making you look at him while he moves a hand to the soft skin of your stomach.

“my little cow really wants their baby calf don’t they? they’re going to have to do a little work for it won’t they? don’t worry, daddy will stuff your breeding hole in just a minute, just bounce a bit for me ok?”

aran ojiro

a good puppy<3

(cw: slight dehumanization, caging, aran isn’t mean but damn is he strict)

he isn’t going to lie, knowing you’re crawling around behind him like a dutiful mutt will always make him smile, and a little hard. you’re always so good form him, kneeling before him while he watches tv, letting him pet you whenever he wanted.

he’s glad now that you’ve stopped pouting about being cold, dogs don’t wear clothes! you can use him anyway. he knows he’s gone a lot, and he really is sorry about it but that doesn’t give you the go ahead to be a bad dog.

the cage doesn’t mean he no longer wants to deal with you, he loves you so so much, but you have to learn, no amount of time gone should make you want to defy him. his rules are in place for a reason, he never wants you to get hurt! puppies are stupid and he can’t help but worry that if you get too far away form him, you will.

he can’t help it, your little nuzzles and how you whimper when you feel the plug in your poor little hole move, and how you take naps curled up into his arms and he can feel your ears rubbing against his skin.

you’re his pretty little puppy that he loves so so much!

atsumu miya

quick like a fox<3

(cw: predator/prey, public sex)

you knew it was a losing game, whenever atsumu tells you he has a game to play meant you were going to lose.

you expected a game of strip poker or something like that but you definitely didn’t expect to be dropped into a small flower field, butt naked with a new pair of fox ears and a plug tail, while atsumu counts down your time to run.

it was hard, so so hard to run away. your legs didn’t move like they normally did, you had no idea where you were going and you were so incredibly turned on. within a few minutes you could tell he was chasing you, the branches behind you crunching and his voice urging you to give up before he caught you.

your downfall was a more embarrassing one, tripped on a rock and falling into a stream, effectively ending whatever chance you had to win your stupid race.

“gottcha baby! you did so well, your ass look so pretty while you ran with your tail flailing around!”

it was no worry, after you get fucked you’ll get another chance. not that either of you beloved the outcome will be different.

osamu miya

a kitten drinking milk<3

(cw: blowjob, cum swallowing)

rewards are osamu’s favorite thing in the world.

he loves when you’re a good kitten, all sweet and pretty for him. you had made him so proud today!

sitting all pretty and quite on his lap during a call for the restaurant, so well behaved, the man on the other line couldn’t even tell you were there. he knew you were getting restless but still sat till the end like a good pet.

so as the good owner he is, a reward was in order.

on your knees swallowing his cum was a prefect reflection of your actions. watching your head bob along his cock, giving your all to make him happy, was the best view in the world.

he knew you liked it too, from the was you purred around his dick when he rubbed your ears, and seeing your hips sway, trying to feel any relief for the ache growing between your legs.

and don’t think he didn’t see the little quirk of your lips when you were done liking up his cum, mischievous kittens don’t get rewards, remember that.

suna rintarou

fucking like bunnies<3

(cw: breeding, exhibitionism, gave me a crazy idea for a fic)

suna liked you in three states; hopping around the house making sure everything is good for your owner, naked— with your ears and tail on display for his seeing, and bouncing on his cock like a whore begging for him to breed you.

it may be from the way your ears flop around or how he can see your tail swaying from behind you. it was most definitely form how you cry about how well he stuffs you and your whimpers when he shoves the plug back into your cunt after surfing more than a few loads into it.

and it’s no surprise he likes to show you off, shown in the sheer amount of times that atsumu has shown up and came into your apartment after suna had bred you so well. or how he just had to show of your plugs to aran, while they were still in you. or when kita visited and suna gave him a chance you breed your hungry pussy.

it’s not that you mind, your a house let for him to do whatever he wanted with. including all the photos he’s sent into the national team chat, expressing what a good breeding bunny you are. (to the shock of some of the younger members you’d never met.)

you do use it as a free chance to get back at home sometimes, like when hinata and kageyama asked you about the plug and you just had to lift your kirt and show them! it wasn’t your fault bokuto reached over and pulled one out, letting his cum flow down your leg! nor was it your fault ushijima said your pussy looked so nice stuffed to the brink.

all in all, suna loves his little bunny, he wouldn’t trade it for any other pet!

tags: @bakugos-cumsock

[peach-pops]

Hi I just saw the Ukai request thing and I was wondering if I could get some head cannons of anyone on the team, falling hard for ukais daughter or niece

This was so fun to write! I never actually imply this in the request but the reader is adopted cause it’s more inclusive that way! I chose Daichi and Tanaka cause they seem like they would have Ukai react way differently!

Daichi & Tanaka Going Out With Ukai’s Daughter HC

➣Daichi

Okay so Daichi, being the captain and all, if there’s one thing he is really good at, it is respecting authority and understanding the chain of command

He’s worked from being a mere first-year peasant to being the daddy captain we all know and love

That’s why when he starts to catch feelings for Ukai’s daughter, he does his best to never step over the line because he doesn’t want to disrespect his family in any way 

It all started when you would show up to practice since Ukai didn’t want you alone at home but he gave everyone the speech to keep their eyes off of his kid

He made it a point to point out that you were his only child, his only daughter and that he would crack skulls without hesitation if any of the boys made you uncomfortable 

And yes, He looked at Tanaka and Noya the whole time because I swear they’ll simp for anything with two legs and a heartbeat 

Daichi doesn’t catch feelings for you right away though. He acknowledges that you’re pretty but it isn’t until you two slowly started to get to know each other more and more when Daichi realizes how hard he is falling for you

He’s sometimes a bit scared to make a move during volleyball practice since your dad is always like two feet away but you two share a class so you can bet your ass that he’s always sitting next to you and making up any excuse to talk to you

The two of you aren’t even dating but he is already so whipped for you 

Exhibit A

One day before practice, you complained that you had broken your headphones so without even asking you, he rushed to his house to get his pair and came back all sweaty and red, handing them over to you 

Exhibit B

Your favorite drink was stuck in the vending machine and you couldn’t shake it hard enough to make it drop but Daichi went over and bought four drinks so that way it could knock yours over 

Like you’re telling me that isn’t the cutest shit ever? Are my standards just low? ANYWAYS 

You eventually catch feelings for him cause duh look at him he’s perfect but you know that if it were to get more serious, Daichi would have to talk to your dad 

You knew you couldn’t go behind your dad’s back so telling him was the best and only option 

The whole time during practice, Daichi was nervous as hell. He really liked you but he also really respected his coach so he wasn’t even sure exactly how to go about it 

But when you gave his hand a light squeeze, it gave him a big boost of confidence cause screw it, you were worth it

So Daichi sucks it up and the two of you go up to Coach Ukai and he is such a confident and respectful dude he doesn’t even stutter

“ Coach Ukai, I want you to be the first to know that I have feelings for your daughter and she feels the same way about me. I know you’re protective of her but I would never do anything to hurt her, I can promise you that. If it’s okay with you, I’m planning to take her on a date this weekend if you would let me.”

“ Nope.” Ukai said simply as you whined and gave your dad the biggest puppy dog eyes

“  DAD!” You scolded as Ukai rolled his eyes,” Come on, wouldn’t you rather me date  the captain of a team that you can always keep an eye on than I don’t know, some asshole from a different team?”

“ Why does he have to be in volleyball in the first place? Better yet, why do you even need to date a boy? Are you trying to kill me?” Your dad asked as he looked between the two of you 

Ukai did realize deep down that Daichi was arguably the best option you had-He rather you be with Daichi than anyone else around your age group.

A part of Ukai knew that while he loved to see Daichi squirm, he really was a good guy and he just liked giving him a hard time 

“ Fine, have her home by ten.”

“ What about ten-thirty?” You asked as Daichi squeezed your hand and shook his head

“ No it’s okay, ten works just fine,” Daichi smiled back as Ukai couldn’t help but smirk because yep, you picked a good one 

Fast forward to your date and Daichi is outside your house dressed SO NICELY boy has a hot ass button up and everything 

And duh he has flowers for you he’s so cute I’m simping yall 

Obviously, Ukai opens the door and just shakes his head when he sees Daichi all nervous

“ No touching, I mean it kid. There has to be at least three feet between the two of you at all times and remember, if you ever hurt her I will personally bring a bat over to your house and-” 

“ Oh my god please stop, we’ll see you later!” You slip past your dad and grab Daichi’s arm to pull him down the driveway

“  I SAID NO TOUCHING!” 

➣Tanaka

Okay so you know how I said that Coach Ukai wouldn’t be too opposed with you going out with Daichi? Yeahhhh Tanaka is definitely one of the guys he much rather you not go out with at all

I honestly think Ukai sees so much of his younger self in Tanaka and that freaks him out

ANYWAY Lets go to the beginning tho

Tanaka first knows that he is crushing hard on you when he said the stupidest joke in class and of course, you were the only one to laugh cause lets be real, your sense of humor is pretty shit thanks to the internet 

And tanaka is like “ mhm yes I’ll marry you now” cause bruh no one laughs at my mans jokes he is SLEPT ON 

You two start hanging out and pretty quickly, you both are crushing extra hard on each other. It’s only been maybe like a week or two and you two are so uwu with each other it’s insane

One day before practice, you give him a quick kiss outside of the gym but Tanaka is a certified Clingy Boy™ so he pulls you back in for another one that’s much longer 

“ WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!” 

You both whip your heads around to find Coach Ukai with literal smoke coming out of his ears as he is glaring so hard at Tanaka 

Tanaka’s headass is like “oh im probably getting yelled at for PDA or maybe I lost track of time and I’m late to practice” but oh boy is he wrong

Idk if you guys collectively share one braincell or whatever but it just clicks now for you that “ oh shit, we are so fucked” 

“ Dad, I can explain-”

Tanaka doesn’t even hear the rest of the conversation like his brain shuts down when he hears you say the word Dad 

And he’s thinking in his head that maybe you just call coaches dad for some weird reason but no, Ukai is actually your dad

There’s so much yelling that the rest of the Karasuno members are outside of the gym doors listening in on the conversation because they’re nosey as hell 

Noya is definitely conflicted because heck yes, his boy is dating a female but he also wants to laugh because of course, Tanaka is having bad luck 

Suga thinks it is HILARIOUS 

But anyway

After a whole bunch of yelling, Ukai just says screw it and starts practice and you promise that you’ll talk to him at home but he makes you stay in the gym so he can take you straight home after

BRUH during the whole practice Tanaka does soooooo bad like hes nervous and he feels so guilty

Obviously, if he knew about your dad he would’ve planned it out much better and even ask for his blessing but it was too late to be worrying about what he could’ve done 

“  Don’t be hard on him please. I swear, it didn’t even click that you were his coach and I didn’t want to go behind your back like that,” You said as your dad sat down next to you on the bench as the boys did drills,” but you overreacted. You know he’s sensitive and he’s going to keep beating himself up about it.” 

“ How do you think I feel seeing my daughter kiss a boy? Why can’t you wait until you’re thirty to have a boyfriend? ” Ukai knew you were at the age where he couldn’t keep you away from boys but he was just so protective 

You were his only kid but because you were his daughter, it only complicated things

I already know Ukai raised such a big daddy’s girl (not in a weird way yall) and while he knows he raised you to be super strong, he just wants to protect you from heartache

“ I really like him and he makes me happy and I promise, we won’t even interact with each other if we are around you if it makes you uncomfortable.”

That wasn’t the most comforting thought to Ukai but he knew he was wrapped around your finger and that he would eventually cave in

It took some time for him to get used to the two of you being together. You two never went on any dates at first because Tanaka wanted to ease your dad into the idea of you two being together

But it wasn’t until Ukai saw how protective Tanaka was whenever you would come along to tournaments that Ukai started to feel better at the idea 

Like Tanaka would go FERAL if a guy even looked at you the wrong way and Ukai was secretly like “ yeah you tell em!” 

It was actually comforting to Ukai that you were dating someone who would literally lay their life on the line for you at any given moment because as your dad, he would do the same

So after a few weeks, it was actually Ukai who went up to Tanaka to talk about the two of you going on dates

“ You have my blessing but just know, if you even look at my daughter the wrong way, I will kill you, no questions asked.” 

Tanaka was actually relieved because to him, that was such an easy request. He couldn’t even imagine hurting you or ever making you upset so he was already thinking of date ideas once Ukai finished his sentence

“ Should I start calling you dad now?”

“ Don’t push it.”  

[icexprincess]

Ketamine therapy

Apparently you can get Ketamine legally to treat ptsd, anxiety, and depression.

The drug is only 60 yrs old. It's only been used to treat depression/ptsd/anxiety for 20 yrs, so there's no real research on the drug.

Which means they don't know how addictive it can be. its addictive in high doses, but the doctors administer K in low dosages, so they don't know the long term effects of the drug.

Lately I've been thinking about when I should quit Prozac. I've been looking for something more. I would love an Adderall prescription. That's also addictive though.

I realize I also have to make lifestyle changes. I was even going to try a bunch of different sports! I even got a new dog - a pitbull Labrador mix to scare off ugly, worthless NPCs. Then covid happened.

I was soooooo close to getting a gf too.

I've been taking cbd so now I'm feeling chatty. Maybe I should try K?

I dont wanna be toooo neurotypical though. I fucking hate NTs 😤 😒 😑 🙃 😐 🙄 😤

I'm still pissed at my teacher for a rude comment she made to me 15 or 16 yrs ago. I was going to fuck her hot boyfriend to get back at her, but do I really want to fuck someone who would fuck her?

I thought she was soooo fucking gross looking. I always got the impression that she was easy and into degrading sexual acts. She legit seemed kinda retarded to me. Shes gross. She's nasty.

If I made out with her I would regret it and hate myself. She's one of those people you deny sleeping with because you're ashamed of yourself for sleeping with her. The thought of people knowing you guys hooked up is humiliating. Like you deny knowing her because you don't want people thinking you lack self respect.

She's trash.

One of the benefits to being a Narcissist is that NPCs are not allowed anywhere near me. Most people are NPCs. It's beneficial during a pandemic. I was quarantining before Covid.

[golbrocklovely]

Xiomara is a cool name! I think I'd probably choose something like Astrid or Roslyn (I have a character in a story I'm writing named Roslyn) (:

I as well can only speak English but I really want to try and learn either French or Italian

No I can't play any instruments unfortunately, I tried learning the violin in elementary school but quit because the strings hurt my fingers lmaoo if I ever do pick up an instrument I'd probably want to learn how to play piano or guitar. My heart wants to try drumming but I know I'll never develop the coordination it takes for that lol

Favorite show growing up as a kid was probably Wizards of Waverly Place or Zach and Cody. And I am woman enough to admit I watched Playhouse Disney for probably way too long lol (like I'm talking into middle school🤣) I loved SpongeBob too and courage the cowardly dog

I want to be a Target girl soooooo bad but they're so expensive. So I'm gonna have to say Walmart but I can't stand going to the Walmart in my immediate area because they're always packed and a mess, everyone is always miserable and plus the one closest to me was my first job actually (going there triggers my nervous tick lmfao) but people really be sleeping on Walmart dot com lol you can find mad cute clothes there. In conclusion lol I will one day be a Target girl lol

Ketchup or mustard? What's your opinion on salt and vinegar chips? What kind of car do you drive?

sorry about the super late response. fell asleep last night, had work this morning and then when i came home i went to sleep again. at least i'm finally awake now haha :)

roslyn and astrid are pretty names ! i like roslyn the most.

i would love to learn italian too. i think my problem is that growing up when i was in school, i didn't want to learn a language bc i was afraid of speaking it wrong in front of ppl that could speak it right. also i hated getting graded on whether or not i could understand the language. but now since i'm not in school anymore, maybe learning a language won't be too bad.

i never learned how to play an instrument until i got into my 20s. i self taught myself the ukuele, and i'm not the best but i'm pretty okay at it lol and i always wanted to learn the drums too, but there's just no place to really learn that and drumkits are so fucking expensive. i also wanted to learn to play the harp, but like idk where to even learn that either.

playhouse disney was my shit when i was younger. pb and j otter, rollie-pollie ollie, omg i used to love those shows ! when i got a bit older, i would say one of my favorite shows was probs suite life, hannah montana, or jonas/jonas la. but that's only bc i loved the jonas brothers lmao

yeah target is expensive, but they do have some cute stuff that isn't too bad. and the walmart in my area is fucking crazy too. i legit want to buy stuff from there but... not with all those ppl in it omg. the target near my house isn't too bad for groceries and whatnot, and i don't mind buying some stuff from there bc i know it will actually last decently long. i have a pair of jeans from there from like 3 years ago that are still going strong, which is a first since most jeans rip or get a hole in them.

interestingly enough, ketchup and mustard both kinda gross me out on their own, unless they are with specific stuff. ketchup is good with really terrible fries, and (spicy) mustard is good on hot dogs. and then both are good on burgers. regular mustard... that's gross to me and i'm not sure why.

i don't like salt and vinegar chips. i think the last time i tried them was when i was in elementary school, and they were so bitter to me. vinegar kinda makes me feel ill when i smell it, idk why. but maybe now since my smelling and tasting senses are all fucked up, maybe i should try them again.

i don't know how to drive actually, but i do plan to learn at some point in the near-ish future. my problem honestly is that i just have kinda bad anxiety and to top it off, i don't have enough money to afford a car or insurance so... yeah. but if i could drive, i would want a jeep. that's the dream car. the car my mom has is really nice, so i would drive that if i knew how to.

questions: do you wear makeup and if so what brands do you use/like? and if not what are some makeup products you wish you have (if you even like makeup haha), how would you describe your style, what's a nice dream you had recently that you remember?

[foodbytesback]

The Good, The Bad, and the What-the-Fuck of Foodie Gift Idea Lists

It’s that time of year again, when we’re forced to ask ourselves “fuck, how does giftgiving work again?”  While the pandemic might have vastly reduced the number of white elephant/secret santa type gift exchanges, if you’re anything like me, you a.) don’t know what to ask for, because you’re an adult and just go buy things when you want them, and b.) your immediate family has no determinable personality so giving an actually thoughtful gift is a nightmare.

Thankfully, pretty much every single website out there has their own holiday gift guide. 

Problem is, I suspect some of these companies just trying to sell us something might be trying to... sell us something.  By which I mean they’re looking to find ways to pawn off their surplus products no one actually wants. And even if that wasn't the case, SOOOOOO many of these lists are mindnumblingly mundane and repetitive (I’m looking at you, every “Men’s Guide” that’s just a bunch of leather wallets, straight razors and beer paraphernalia)  Who’s to say if any of these gift ideas are any good or not?

Me.   Me’s to say.  

So here’s my guide to the holiday gift guides, aiming to show which of these foodie publications is most in touch with what their readers want in a holiday gift.  It may be with noting that none of these sites are really involved with producing the products mentioned and that each list is just things that their writers liked, so, optimistically, there shouldn’t be too much random useless garbage.  Also, uhh, Christmas is Friday.  I’m not saying it’s too late if you’re looking for actual gift ideas, but you’re probably gonna have to pay out the ass for overnight shipping at this point.  This is mostly an exercise in making fun of stuff.

delish

The Good

Bernzomatic Kitchen Torch: I’m 90% sure this is the same model we use at my work, so yes, I will vouch that this is a good torch.  I can’t really think of anything you can use a torch for other than creme brulee, quickly searing tuna tataki, or getting a flambe to start the easy way, but that’s a different matter.

Salvaged Wood Cookbook/Tablet Stand: While the aesthetic of this particular one isn’t really my thing, I will say that a cookbook stand is one of those things that might come in handy on a cramped kitchen counter.  It looks like this one also has a little hole for sticking the charging cable for your tablet through, so that’s a plus. 

The Bad

Cake-in-a-Mug: I remember when cake-in-a-mug became a thing when I was in college.  I remember it never really working as well as promised.  Unless you or the person you’re getting this for doesn’t have an oven, don’t get this.  Especially not for $20.  For half that price you can buy a mug and a whole box of cake mix, and if you want to add a personalized touch you can weigh out the individual cake mix portions for them.

Bacon shirt: It’s not 2010 anymore, you can’t just slap the word “bacon” on a shirt and call it a day.

Churro Maker: This thing looks like a fucking Play-doh extruder.  Churros can be made with a piping bag with a star tip, which are both cheaper and more versatile than this… thing.

Hot Dog Toaster: There’s a reason it’s marked down from $30 to $20, and it’s because it’s a kitchen appliance that does one thing (probably poorly) and will probably just take up space on your counter.

The What-the-Fuck

Sriracha2Go Keychain: Listen, we all love sriracha.  But do you know what’s better than sriracha? Not having 5,000 things on your keychain.  Maybe it’s different for people with purses, but I remember getting a sushi keychain charm a while back that was even bigger than your ordinary piece of nigiri, so after like, 2 days of trying to cram all of that in my pocket I eventually had to take it off.  And really, you can’t go one meal without sriracha? 

Pink Lemonade Candle: I’m putting it here because it’s not even pink.  I’m sick of your lies.

Donut Warming Mug:  This whole thing is a garbage fire. When I went to investigate what sets this apart from just, like, putting a donut on top of a mug, I found that this company hasn’t even set up their domain for their Shopify site, so you couldn’t even buy this if you wanted to.

Final Verdict: 50+ ideas doesn’t mean much when half of it isn’t anything anyone wants.

Food52

The Good

Five Two Silicone Oven Mitts: I (by which I mean my parents) have a pair of silicone pot holders like this, so I can confirm they are some of the better once on the market.  The fact that these are magnetic and can be slapped against any metal surface when not in use intrigues me.

Food52 X Staub Round Cocotte: Ok, so yes, the whole enameled dutch oven craze may be a little overrated.  I have a small Staub that I picked up on sale for $100, and while I’ve only used it a couple of times I do think it was a worthwhile investment.  It’s a good gift idea if you have a rich aunt who wants to know what you want, or something like that.  (Also yes, Food52 is, in fact, the only one on this list where they do have their own store and regularly do collaborations like this.  I’m not saying you have to specifically get the Food52 version or even a Staub, just saying these kinds of dutch ovens are sorta, kind, almost worth the hype.)

Dish Rack With Drain Spout: Yes, this is a very boring gift.  But, it’s also something I would have loved to have at my last apartment.  Maybe more of a housewarming gift than a holiday gift, but I’m feeling generous so I’ll put it under “good.”

The Bad

TRUFF Truffle-Infused Hot Sauce: I just can’t imagine truffle and spicy playing well together.  The person who put it on the list seems to expect this level of incredulousness. Maybe someday I’ll try mixing hot sauce with truffle oil on my own.  But I’m not paying $40-$72 for this. 

The What-the-Fuck

Lovely Taper Candles: That’s not even food related. And it’s literally the first thing they put on the list.  Why.

Final Verdict: A much smaller list, but more quality ideas.  Even if some of them are pushing their own products.

Eater

The Good

BALMUDA The Toaster:  Let’s ignore the fact that this Japanese appliance has the Japanese word for “useless” in its name (oh shit is that a JoJo reference?) A while back I wrote that while I hate most kitchen gadgets, I would, in a heartbeat, jump at the chance to get a home-version of an industrial combi-oven, which can be set to bake, steam, or a hybrid steam/bake setting.  While this unfortunately doesn’t have a full-blown steam setting, it does have a number of different humidity settings to do hybrid steam/baking, so it’s probably the closest we’ll be getting anytime soon.

“In Bibi’s Kitchen” Cookbook plus Spicewalla Spices: The idea of a cookbook bundled with the spices needed to make the recipes is ingenious.   

The Bad

Justice of the Pies “Cutie Pie” Earrings: I will give them some credit, as apparently this is merch from a wildly popular Chicago pie bakery.  If you, like me, didn’t know that, you’d think they were just really fucking ugly earings.

The What-the-Fuck

Laundry Room Studios, the Guest Check Collection: I put this in the what-the-fuck in an endearing way.  Posters of all the Dumb Shit Customers Say™ will always be a perfect gift for anyone who’s worked customer service.  The only downside of these is the fact that they’re all relatively small, at about the size of a standard sheet of paper.

Heliograf Fish-Shaped Light: It’s… a lamp… shaped like a fish… wild.

Final verdict: Still generally good ideas, although a lot of merch for restaurants I’ve never heard of and sorta generic sounding subscription boxes.  

[vipers-hat]

TELL ME ABOUT GRANT AND JACE AS GFH PLS AND THANK YOU 👀🍿

Caved and did Grant already soooooo

Jason Seed as a GFH

With Fangs for Hire

Boomer - “I always wanted a cattle dog.”

Peaches - “Listen, I know I got here way late to the party, but are we sure we wanna trust a mountain lion who’s got a taste for human? Anybody else see the risks here?” 

With other Guns for Hire

Nick - “So, do you and Kim like... support the whole infrastructure of this town, or is it you and the Spread Eagle?” 

Adelaide - “Adelaide, I am... beyond flattered about... that question you asked me earlier, but I’m going to have to politely decline (a few seconds later, to the Dep/PC) “Does she have a Seed Brother kink or something? Because I feel like she’s got a Seed Brother kink. I can’t believe that phrase left my mouth. This is a weird town.” 

Sharky - (after Sharky’s gone on one of his tangents) “How on EARTH have my brothers not killed you yet?” // “I appreciate your enthusiasm, but please, for the love of God, point that flamethrower away from us.” // “I mean, you’re batshit insane but you’re a  good guy.” 

Jess: “Christ, you’re barely in your twenties. My brothers are making people who are just short of children fight. That’s... there’s no excusing that.”

In Combat

seeing an enemy - ‘Got one.” 

sneaking - “Quick and quiet. You’re on.” 

killing an enemy - “I’m sorry. You deserved better... or maybe you didn’t.” 

Hurt - “Ow. Oh, God.... Heh, I can actually finally blame my brothers on getting hurt and completely mean it.” 

Downed - “Hey. Those three can’t be the death of me. Come on.” // “Alright, I’ll just lay here dying then. Take your time.” 

Driving

Entering a car - “Let’s roll out.” // “Onwards and upwards... or downwards, considering our luck here.”

Reckless driving - “Man, if this was the city we would’ve gotten into like... five accidents in the last ten feet.” // Animated to grab at the handles on the roof after a certain speed

changing radio stations - “You switch stations on Bad Moon Rising and we’re gonna have a problem.”  // “Thank you, that song was driving me insane... ... scratch that, an ‘insane Seed’ isn’t exactly good for this county. Point is, good call.” 

Idle

“What would’ve happened if I was there for them? If I wasn’t so fucking selfish. What a mess... and it might be my fault.” 

“I don’t know why I’m telling you this, it’s not going to make a difference, they need to be stopped, but... my brothers used to be good people. This is... this is rough.” 

“Hey, um... listen, if you need to... end things, promise me you won’t take me with you? I don’t... I wanna be there, they’re mostly beyond saving now, but... I won’t be able to handle that.” 

“Do you know if Mary May is single? Or with all this going on, do I have absolutely no shot? ... Yeah, stupid question. Nevermind.” 

Location/Region-Specific:

The Valley -

“This place reminds me of back home a lot. John and I used to go fishing by little rivers that looked just like this... I wonder if he remembers.” 

“If you take away all the mayhem and murder, I’d settle here.... I wish I had seen it years ago.” 

“Baby Brother, what are you getting up to?” 

“Everyone tells me the Spread Eagle’s got some good booze but I should stay away from Casey’s cooking. How concerned should I be?” 

The Mountains - 

“This... is the worst I’ve seen. Jake did this? Stoic, loyal, would-die-for-you Jake? Unbelievable.” 

“What the fuck.” // “I can’t believe this.”

“So... the Jake I knew is probably dead and gone at this rate... I don’t know if that makes all this worse or better.” 

Joseph’s Island

“Joe and I talked when we were kids. About adults having too much power, how they would abuse it, take advantage. We promised each other that we’d never be like that. It was dumb. We didn’t understand the world, but this... ... he broke his promise and then some.” 

The River - 

“So... Adopted Sister o’ Mine is ridiculously creepy and... unmakes people. Great, another Tuesday in the Seed family, I guess.”

Upon seeing a roaming angel) “Christ, how sad. I’d... put them down, but... it just... doesn’t feel right.” 

(Around Bliss field) “Hey uuuhhhhhh.... this all looking like a bad trip? I guess they’re all bad trips but like, the old definition? A bad trip in college.” (the Bliss has him hallucinating his brothers) “I... you’re not real. But I’m sorry. I’m sorry about all of this, I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I miss you.” 

If he witnesses Burke mumbling about the Bliss: “Is no one hearing this? Am I the only one concerned? Maybe we should listen to Tracey and not keep the guy here. No? Anyone? Fine. Then I have to leave, to do something completely unrelated to being around here if he goes off. Honest.”

[purplesurveys]

780

What was the last thing you posted on a Instagram? A photo of a plate of corndogs that my dad made me. Welp, I had planned to come up with one of those one-photo-a-day-for-a-year for 2020, but that plan is obviously ruined given the current situation. I tried keeping it up during the quarantine but everything has just been so fucking monotonous I’ve failed to update it since April 4th. Do you consider yourself a nature person? I do. I know I am, but I just haven’t been submerged in a lot of nature-y experiences yet. Like I’ve never legit camped in the middle of nowhere or climbed a mountain before, but I’m always willing to do those kinds of things. What kind of collection would you like to start? Wrestling memorabilia. I’ve always wanted to start collecting DVD sets, figures, and belts, and I hope I get to keep that goal up once I start earning my own money :) What helps you take your mind off your problems? SURVEYS, for suuure. The more problems I have, the more I take lol. YouTube videos also help and it’s my go-to website whenever I’m not feeling perfect. And hugging my dog. Who do you miss, if anyone? Been missing Gabie since March and it’s only gotten worse since.

What do you miss, if anything? Normalcy. I really hate how much I’ve had to adjust and even give up/miss out on because of the virus, like an eventful final semester in college or actually doing on-ground work for my thesis. I miss being stuck in traffic and getting shawarma with Laurice and regularly seeing protests on campus and everything else that came with university life. Do you prefer to live alone or live in a family? I would love to live with a roommate or two – basically, people who have vastly different backgrounds than I do that I could share stories and experiences with. This lockdown has made me realize that I don’t want to live with my family for long; and I feel like I’d eventually lose it if I lived alone so both of your options seem unattractive. What states have you visited, that you remember? None of them. What countries have you visited? China, Japan, South Korea, Indonesia, Malaysia, and Singapore. What countries do you want to visit? Thailand, Vietnam, India, Turkey, and Morocco. What states would you most like to visit? New York, Illinois, Utah, Colorado, and Alaska. What are five careers you've considered? Throughout my life, I’ve considered beinggggg a pro wrestler, a model, a veterinarian, an astronaut, and an author. Do you use a sunlamp when it's cloudy? No, I’ve never needed one because it’s super bright here 24/7, 365. Even if it’s cloudy you wouldn’t something as bright as a sunlamp. What's your latest discovery? People are assholes and will share jumpscare videos at 2 AM even if so many others have expressed their legitimate panic and anxiety over them.

What do you wish your hair looked like? Nothing, I’m happy with it right now. Which family member has your exact smile? Sometimes I’ll resemble my mom, but for the most part I don’t think I share my smile with anybody. Do you still feel anything for the first person you fell in love with? Yep, she’s remained very important to me this whole time. What's one thing you're behind on? Kdramas. Lol I get soooooo lazy when it comes to watching them because every episode is an hour long and I just don’t have the attention span for that. I’ve seen so many shows trend over the last few weeks and yet I’ve barely met any progress watching Descendants of the Sun. Who was the last person you called? Gabie. Do you take pictures on your phone? ...Duh? But yeah, I like saving my memories so I have a couple thousand photos in my camera roll at present. How old were you the first time you loved school? 19, I guess. I hated the culture in my first school and I hated my freshman year in college. I only started taking studying seriously in my second year, when I turned 19. How old were you the first time you encountered God? Idk, the second I was born. Have you ever hallucinated? It doesn’t really count as hallucinate but once when I was 8, I had a very high fever and I had a nightmare alongside it, so when I woke up to my grandma soaking hot water all over my body to treat my fever I was still in dream-mode and screaming out stuff to her that was within the universe of that dream. Does it annoy you when people share their ignorant opinions online? Sometimes it can be annoying but sometimes it can be entertaining too, just watching their ignorance unfold haha. Do you clean your place often? I wouldn’t say often, but I will tidy up my room occasionally. Do you struggle to get by? Not right now since I’m still dependent on my parents. But I suppose when I get my first job, my financial situation wouldn’t be rainbows and unicorns at first. What color is your wristwatch? I don’t have one. I stopped wearing watches after I realized I just lose every single one of them. :/ Who is the best looking male celebrity, in your opinion? Timothée Chalamet. Do you still miss a friend who betrayed you? No. How many subscribers do you have on youtube? 0. And rightfully so, I don’t post anything on it. If you'd like to share, what is your screenname on Instagram? Nope. Do you use Snapchat? Barely. I’ll use it for the filters sometimes, but otherwise I stopped using it as a social media since 2017. Do you enjoy typing? Idk, enjoy is a little loaded. I’m neutral about it, it’s just what I have to do to post text online lol. Are you a fast texter? I’d say that, sure. Would you rather text or call? TEXT do not call me ever Do you know anyone who has everything handed to them? Yep. I try not to think of those people because it’s such an unfair situation and it’ll just stress me out. Would you ever want to be a famous youtuber? Haha yeah, I’ve thought about making it as a vlogger. But the career is super unpredictable and it’s so easy to fall behind in it because so many people are getting into it and are just doing the same thing, so if anything it’s something I wanna do as a side project, and solely for fun. Do you know anyone who's colorblind? Not that I know of. What are three of your pet peeves? People who are late, people who don’t meet their deadlines, and people who don’t smile back or say thank you whenever a barista or a server serves them.

[serendipitous-magic]

who are your stylistic influences? a lot of your language is very nice. your imagery, descriptions, etc. are you influenced by other fan fiction writers? canonical authors? poets?

This is like SUCH a lovely, lovely question and I kept it in my inbox way too long just because like. I didn’t want to stop seeing it when I opened my inbox lol.

I’d say one of my top “stylistic influences” as far as writing is Stephen King - especially “classic” Stephen King like It, The Body, The Shining. (So you can blame my long-windedness on him! :P Kidding.) I love how visceral a lot of his writing is. His writing is emotion-based (aaaaand that’s why his work often doesn’t make very good movie adaptations, in my opinion), and it’s intensely vivid. You can really feel like you’re in the story, which is for sure something I try to achieve with my own work.

Neil Gaiman has a similar MO, I feel like, but he’s a little less long-winded and more eloquent. More succinct. His worldbuilding is fantastic. Namely, American Gods, Good Omens, Neverwhere? It’s fascinating. He really knows how to set the scene via impressions. Neil isn’t afraid of getting down and dirty with the minutiae when he wants to, but he’s the master of broad-strokes impressionism by way of word. Monet with a typewriter, if you will. Whenever you see me setting a scene by way of stringing together a few fairly short or vague, but vivid impressions? That’s probably thanks to Neil Gaiman. (Ex: “It smells just like she remembers. Not just like the lab, but like that night in particular. Sterile-chemical-hospital smell; the metal-and-ozone smell of fried wires and haywire electronics; spores from the tunnel; and the dogs. Those demodogs from the Upside Down, their rubbery flesh carrying the rot-stench of their birthplace.” (From TRS3 ch3).)

I think when I’m trying to write humor or comedy I tend to think about J.K. Rowling, Rick Riordan, or Douglas Adams’ humor. Kind of a set-you-up-with-an-expectation and then suddenly turn the sentence in a direction you didn’t octopus. (Ex: “…all - except El - firing off questions. Where have they been? Why didn’t they come with everyone else to get ice cream the other day? What’s the code-yellow meeting about? Is something up? What’s up? Why have they been so radio silent lately? Are there chips in the kitchen? Can the Party eat the chips in the kitchen?” (from The Unmarked Mixtape chapter 13).) Also, situational humor. (Not sure how well I do at humor. I think I can sometimes be funny, but it’s hard for me to do actual comedy - thus far, I’ve been better at short, wry bursts of humor here and there than sustained humor. I’ll have to work on that.)

I’m a fan of poetry. I like Jewel (A Night Without Armor was the first book of poetry that was ever given to me as a gift - I was fifteen and my big sister gave it to me as a birthday gift, and I devoured that thing), Plath, Blake, Dickenson. All very old and white, I know, I have to find some more poets to read.

I’m a visual learner, so I usually tend to see my writing as “shots” (like on a screen) and that’s how I’ll describe it. What do the readers see? If a character knocks a glass off the counter and it shatters, what’s important in that moment? What should the “camera” focus on? Their elbow, clipping the glass as they turn? Their expression when they realize, in that split-second before it hits the floor, that they fucked up again and that’s it, that’s the last straw? The glass itself - an inanimate object, numb and unfeeling, swept off the counter and arcing one long, irregular snake of liquid through the air before it connects with linoleum and splinters? Or maybe it’s the characters’ shoes beside the mess of glass, their hand as they reach down, the ruby smear that wells up just off-center on the pad of their finger when a shard bites into their skin? I’m very, very visual in my thinking. So that’s how I tend to write. Images carry connotations - combinations of images can carry an infinite variety of very complex, multifaceted connotations. (Just look at aesthetic boards - the ones that tell a whole story or set a whole scene without a single word.)

That being said, I tend to hang onto the images that strike me particularly hard (in movies or irl) and they sometimes make it into my writing. I love the imagery in movies directed by J. J. Abrams, or Kubrick, or Spielberg.

Also, phrases stick in my head like nothing else. I’m pretty sure I recently used the phrase “giddy and grumpy to an artless degree” in one of my fics, somewhere. Confession: that’s  not my phrase. At least, nor originally. I read that phrase in an otherwise wholly unmemorable fanfiction like… Maybe seven years ago? It was back in my days of Hunger Games fandom… (shudder). But my brain really liked that phrase - I just really like the rhythm of it and how it flows - and I remembered it for almost a decade, and eventually used it.

Soooooo, yeah! I’m not sure if that’s exactly what you were asking, but those are some of my “stylistic influences,” that I can think of off the top of my head. 

Also, I’m looking at this and realizing that there are a lot of guys’ names in here and not nearly enough women. I should maybe work on that. 🤔

EDIT: oh gosh, wait, how could I forget - my dad! He has a very grand, vaguely Tolkien style of writing, and he adores fantasy and science fiction. I’d be shocked if my writing wasn’t influenced in large part by his.

[aspookybunny]

Answer the questions and tag people you want to know better!

I was tagged by @eliljahwood , thank you very much for tagging me I love these things

Name: Jessica

Nickname: sometimes my friends will call me Jess

Zodiac: Capricorn

Height: 5’10” my whole like ive wished I was like 2-4 inches shorter

Languages: native English speaker, took Mandarin Chinese in high school trying to relearn some of it bc I love it, I know a tiny bit of Russian from my mom

Nationality: American (I’m so sorry about the president I hate him too)

Favorite Season: Fall

Favorite Flower: daisy probably

Favorite Animals: penguins, polar bears, seals especially harbor seals, wombats, leopards, sharks, nearly all animals in all honesty it’s hard to choose

Favorite Smell: coffee and old books with kinda yellowed pages

Favorite Fictional Character: Black Widow, Captain Marvel, Thorin Oakenshield, Crowley

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate: COFFEE

Average Sleep: like 6 hours

Favorite Color: forest green

Dogs or cats: dogs

Number of blankets: 2 on the couch, 2 in the bed, and 2 extras and 1 broken heated blanket that I can’t bring myself to throw away cause what if I can fix it

Dream Trip: Egypt and exploring all the ancient egyptian ruins and the pyramids and temples and museums

Blog Established: late 2012 maybe early 2013

Random Fact: umm I’m attempting to go to college for archaeology. I just got my Associates transfer degree but 4 year college funding is an issue at the moment

Gender: woman I guess I like they them pronouns more but like she/her is fine and i not sure I feel strongly enough to say non-binary it’s a questioning thing currently and I just don’t know enough about all the gender stuff

Sexuality: soooooo queer I usually say in my head bc once again it’s a whole thing. For a while I was saying lesbian bc I was only liking women and there’s literally only 1 guy character that I like and he’s fictional and the actor I’m not interested in so I’m kinda questioning over it but also like it’s a non human fictional character and can probably be attributed to my strong internalized need to be “perfect” and “normal” and the whole raised with small town mid western church thing. And in the real world with real people it’s only women. Sorry for the rant but I’ve been holding that question in for months

Harry Potter Moral Compass: Gryffindor

Why did you start this blog? Idk my friends told me I’d like tumblr. And I never left

Most Recently Played Album: the last individual album I listened to was Norman Fucking Rockwell by Lana del Rey

And finally I’ll tag @bisexual-bella and @princessrococo of you guys are interested in doing these

[onetruejonsey]

Decade In Review, by Samuel Richard Sinbad Gandalf Jones

So as the ‘Teens’ come to a close (I’m writing this with 3 hours left on the clock!), Gabby has insisted that I copy her, and do a highlight reel of my last decade. Now I’m not on YouTube yet, so this’ll be more of a REALLY REALLY long post, but go ahead and read it, then read Gabby’s on her page (@mist-over-water), and see just how boring I really am!

2010-

Well this year was boring as hell, clearly. I CAN’T REMEMBER MOST OF IT. But I was part way through my first year of A-Levels, and boy oh boy, was I failing them, I’d gone from being a straight A student to screwing everything up! Didn’t stop procrastinating though…..

2011-

Okay, now things get a little interesting, I got my first big job working at a really pleasant and mature restaurant….AHAHA just kidding I got a job at my local McDonald’s! It took me three attempts to get in there, not because I sucked, but timing sucked, I think the universe eventually saw me and just said ‘Oh fuck it, have the job’. But I wanted to earn some money to take me to university, and this seemed like a good idea at the time! And my first paycheck was spent on a brand new guitar! So I was a happy Sam!

I finished my A-Levels, and when I got my results, I was crushed, not at the results, they were pretty good. All my university choices rejected me, and all my friends made it. It was my own fault to be honest, but I’ll never forget just how low that made me feel. I was pretty angsty back then, so this just added to my pile!

I decided it was best to stay at work, go full time, get waaaaay more money, and try again next year. This proved to be a good decision, as it led to me being invited to my first ever work party, I got drunk, and there was karaoke, and I gave my best rendition of Basket Case by Green Day, and to this day, there are still whispers of my singing prowess. Even though I’m a bit shit.

2012-

I started 2012 with a pinch of determination, and it paid off. I re-applied for university, and all my choices accepted me, so now it was down to me to make my final decision. I’d had my eye on one in particular, so off me and Mum go to Northampton, 2 and half hours later, and the sat-nav took us to a primary school (I’ll never forget the shopkeeper on the same road-‘Looking for the uni? You’re the 4th person today!’). I fell in love with the whole place, and as soon as I got in the car I looked at Mum and said that I had to be there. I accepted the offer within a minute of being home.

Now from the good to the bad. Something happened to me this year that still sticks with me, and to many, this may seem stupid. But my dog died. Sounds stupid right? Jazz was the best dog I have ever known; loyal, unwavering, had the gift of the gab, and never left us alone. I was convinced she was actually a human reincarnated, she looked after Mum when she was ill, she looked after me when I was miserable, and she loved Dad. What made it more heartbreaking was that she never let us know that she was ill, no, that she was dying. When we got her to the vet, they originally thought it was a little infection, nothing major. The next day we had to rush her in as an emergency, and they found a tumour in her stomach the size of a baby’s head. How we never knew about it I’ll never know, but they operated, and got her all cleared up, and yet it wasn’t enough, she died within the hour, and I buried one of my best friends. This led to a vacuum in our house, we’ve always had dogs and the house felt so wrong without one, so Mum and Dad decided, one day without telling me, to go and get our current doggo Indiana. AND TALK ABOUT GOING FROM ONE EXTREME TO THE OTHER. If Jazz was the best dog ever, Indy is definitely the worst. But we love him, still today as a grumpy old man.

2012 saw me do something that I honestly never thought possible, and dead serious moment here: I genuinely never saw this coming for me, and was convinced that I was not the guy who would be in this situation. But I got a girlfriend, and it was my first relationship. Not ‘first major relationship’, like people who would bounce from quick fling to the next, but my first relationship. To me, a relationship is no small matter, you date me, I’m in it for the long term. Sam ain’t no quick and easy thing! Oh god why am I still such a dork. Anyway, so, yeah, my first relationship, and dear god was I clueless about what to do! And oh shit, I was leaving for uni in September, so would this work long distance? Am I boyfriend material? Will her parents like me? Will my parents like her?....ah fuck it, I WAS 19 AND IN LOVE. I DIDN’T GIVE A SHIT. And whilst we spent some of it long distance, we made it work.

2013-

Now that bit where I was really excited for university and all I’d learn in my 3 years there? Yeah I left after the first year. Cool. My finances were screwed over and I didn’t get my money, so I couldn’t go back, but I guess it was meant to happen for a reason.

Leaving university meant I could focus more on working back home at McDonald’s, so I tried for a promotion, got it, and lost it the day after because of bullshit. But I still carried on, because money’s nice right? I could buy nice things with it, like more stuff for my guitar collection! And many presents! But my my, I think I was getting into a world of pain staying there!

But while we’re on the subject of work and stuff, I got punched in the face by a shitty customer. And it broke my cheekbone. Which I didn’t find out about until a week later when I practically passed out and my girlfriend at the time rushed me to hospital! Since that’s happened I’ve always had a little problem with headaches, lately it’s been really good, to the point I’ve spent pretty much all of 2019, with no headache at all!

Still, finish a topic on a good note, I had my first ever trip to London, it was just me and my girlfriend, and we visited a bakery show. But London itself wowed me, and I fell in love with it, and I always knew I would be back there, just….not how I imagined.

2014-

Starting off, I went back to London! My girlfriend bought me tickets for me and my best friend to go and see Halestorm. MY FIRST CONCERT. And it was epic, I’d ben obsessed with Halestorm for some time already by this stage, so to see them live was a pivotal moment for me. The opening acts were shit, but my god, as soon as Lzzy belted out Love Bites…..oh, ohhh, OHHHHHH my god. The night itself was hectic enough, my friend and I didn’t think to book a hotel. Soooooo we had to run like fuck to make it back to the train, lest we be trapped in London for a whole night!

One big change in this year was my girlfriend and I moving into our own place, granted it was a static caravan, but it was ours, decorated, a bit cold, but it was home. Now, here’s a weird bit, I was home alone one night, and was just getting into bed, when I heard someone at the door. I thought it was my girlfriend home from work, but she was on a night? So, what’s the deal here? Oh wait that’s right, it was Gabby, drunkenly mistaking my caravan for hers! I heard muttering as she left, probably something along the lines of ‘Shit, not my caravan’. But if fate was starting the wheels turning, god she made it a slow fucking burn!

It took me a lot of years to pull this off, but I had my first ever holiday abroad! Rhodes, one of the Greek isles! I recall getting drunk a lot, really good food, and severe heat! But it was my first holiday in forever, and I went away with my girlfriend, her mum and her friend.

Aaaaaand then everything fell apart. I never expected myself to be in a relationship, but once I had one, I didn’t see it ending the way it did. And I’m not airing any dirty laundry, I wasn’t and am still not perfect, but I’m not bitter or twisted about it anymore, it just sucked at the time.  I was cheated on, and to anyone who’s had it happen to them knows that it does a lot of damage, it can take a lot of time to recover, and I was lucky to have the friends I had to help me.

The latter half of 2014 saw me drop into a real dark place, I contemplated suicide, and one day I considered it, staring at a packet of tablets for about 6 hours. It took my best friend randomly appearing at my house, practically kidnapping me and taking me to see Guardians of the Galaxy to snap me out of it! But both him and that movie saved my life, so I’m forever grateful to the pair of them. Also I started drinking heavily, at an unhealthy level but, like John Mulaney said, we don’t have time to unpack all of that!

2015-

Back to having a bit of a dull year, but only a bit. I knuckled down and got on with work, and proved myself time and time again. I remade myself, sorted my drinking out, and did a lot to make myself better, or at the very least, less of a fuckup.

I also managed to cram in three more concerts this year, saw Halestorm again with my best friend and another friend, and we loved one of the supporting acts, Nothing More. AND I GOT TO MEET THE SINGER AND HE WAS THE NICEST ERMAHGERD AND I STILL HAVE THE TICKET WHICH HE SIGNED. Then it was Theory of a Deadman later in the year, and they were phenomenal. But by far, the cherry on the cake was seeing Nothing More again, as a VIP! I got to meet the whole band, watch them from close up, got a crapload of merch, and just have the best damn concert experience I could ever have!

2016-

I started this year a little bit worse for wear, I was a little downbeat about things, and was a little bit lost with my choices in life. So I got a cat. Meg the Merciless. And she is a total bitch, mostly disobedient, attacker of unwatched feet. But she is one hell of a companion, and she loves me and Gabby, we can always rely on her to show us a little love and affection when we need it. But as long as it’s on her terms.

Only one concert this year, but it was a biggie: Sum 41 in London, with the same two friends I go to concerts with, aaaaaand we were bruised and injured from surrounding mosh pits, I think Jacob got a cracked rib for his troubles, and I got a smack in the head, so fun times all round!

I tried again for a promotion at work, and made progress! So that was good, my life’s going forwards, what else could happen to make this year more awesome?

OH THAT’S RIGHT I MET GABBY. Yep, thank you Plenty of Fish for giving the option to exercise my social awkwardness from a screen, because that makes me feel so much better! Anyway, yeah Gabby and I started talking on there, I seem to recall the conversation starting off about surviving a zombie apocalypse? Darling, please correct me if I’m wrong! But we started off strong, and carried on strong from there, I was able to open up to her, which made me feel amazing, confident about being in a relationship again, and then we finally met. And our first date was amazing, it may have been a simple idea, drinks, dinner, walking, trying to be a gentleman and not look at Gabby’s butt. Being told by Gabby to look at her butt, giving said butt 2 thumbs up. The usual stuff you know? But the thing that marvelled me most? Her honesty. Gabby hasn’t had the best life, and she has told me so much that any one thing might break some people, and yet Gabby has endured it all, and she is still one of the kindest people I have ever known. She was worried that I might’ve been scared off with what she wanted me know, but it made me love her more, because she trusts me to the point that she’ll tell me all of this. I visited the zoo in October with her, had an amazing first Christmas with her, met her nieces, who are all adorable, met her friends, had a blast, and had a somewhat awkward time introducing Gabby to my parents!

2017-

After nearly 6 months, Gabby was offered the chance to move in with me and my parents, because her home life was…pretty terrible. After suffering psychological abuse for 7 years at the hands of a total scumbag (side note, I find it really hard to hate people, but if this guy died? Fine.) and going away with me to London for a few days, she made the choice to move in. And I think she’s finally realising how terrible a choice that was, because this house is a total nutfest, and she is now a part of it AND CAN NEVER ESCAPE. But she’s embraced it, and has become a better person with her new environment!

Sticking to the topic of Gabby, she landed a job working with me at McDonald’s. And we became one of the greatest working couples in the whole world, people loved us there. Well, most people. I loved working with her, but the managers were becoming total dicks at the time, and Gabby was being discriminated for her mental health, which pissed me off. And thanks to my shitty advice, she quit in November. So go me!

I realise that so far, my 2017 has been largely about Gabby, AND THAT ISN’T STOPPING ANYTIME SOON! I made a post before about this, but Gabby took me to LFCC, my first ever convention. We went to London again, had a ball, met Glenn from Walking Dead, and Crowley from Supernatural! Later in the year we would also go back to London for MCM Comic-Con, which was more spectacle, but I preferred LFCC more, there were more famous people, and I’m a sucker for meeting the famous!

I saw Sum 41 again with my best friend, and we learned our lesson from the last concert, so we got seats up top, and watched from relative safety, and thank god for that because my hearing went to crap after that night! Gabby bought me tickets to go and see Nothing More again as well, and to show her my world a little more, I took her with me! God they know how to put on a show!

The year ended on the shitty side, and I was a pretty shitty boyfriend with this. But Gabby’s nan fell ill, and it wasn’t looking good, and when Gabby needed me after going to be with her mum at the end of the year, I wasn’t there. So I will be spending the rest of my life trying to make up for it. Sorry sweetheart.

2018-

A shit start to be honest. Gabby’s nan died, and it was a stressful time all round, Gabby and I had a massive argument, and I nearly drove her to self harm. Way to go Sam, you prick. I was convinced that after that, we would be over. Why would Gabby want to be with someone who drives her mental health into the dirt? So naturally I was surprised when she told me she still loved me, and still wanted to be with me, and when she moved back, and got a new job, I saw this as a chance to get things going back in the right direction, for the sake of us, and to show Gabby that I will always love her.

NOW FOR A BIG DRAMATIC CHANGE IN SAM’S LIFE. I quit McDonald’s. And looking back at it, thank fuck I did. I was gunning for another promotion, and I got so close to becoming a manager, only for it to be taken away. Yet another opportunity snatched by arseholes. So that was it, fuck ‘em. I quit, and thanks to Gabby finding it, I got a new job working in the same company as my dad, and I can safely say I have not regretted that decision. I love my new job to pieces!

Now, back to Gabby. AND YET ANOTHER DRAMATIC CHANGE IN SAM’S LIFE. In August, on Gabby’s birthday, I wanted to take her to the zoo, with her mum and nieces in tow. And that was the day I lost my girlfriend. AND GAINED A FIANCEÉ SEE WHAT I DID THERE TUMBLR? SUBVERT YOUR EXPECTATIONS OH YEAH. I proposed, and she said yes! I’m going to be a husband! I’m grateful for everything Gabby does, she teaches me so much, and sometimes doesn’t realise it, so to hear her say yes has to be the greatest thing she has done for me so far, because it shows that she wants to spend the rest of her life with an overweight, greying, eccentric, potty mouthed nerd.

I started learning to drive this year, because goddamn it, if I’m going to get somewhere with my life, I needed to drive, I needed a car. So I found a driving school, and got to work. Now it took me going to a different driving school to find out that my first instructor was just trying to bleed me for money, but I enjoyed the driving all the same. But when I had to find a new driving school, I saw that as an opportunity to procrastinate my arse off again. Well done Sam, well done. You prat.

2019-

I PASSED MY DRIVING TEST. After getting in with a new driving school, I got on really quickly, and passed first time, and in May, after Gabby passed her test as well, we got our first car. Moss, the (nearly) 18 year old Nissan Micra. He’s old, a bit clunky, but he’s an amazing car, and I couldn’t picture a better car for us to start with. Mainly because he’s small and really easy to park.

After getting my butt into gear, and sorting out some crap on my end, Gabby and I really got into planning our wedding, we set the date, and from there, we decided on venues, transport, Gabby chose a dress, everything was coming together in the planning phase. However, we didn’t anticipate that we would have already booked over ¾ of the wedding before the end of this year! Seriously, our wedding is in 2021, and we are practically done. WE BOOKED OUR HONEYMOON A FEW DAYS AGO FOR GOD’S SAKE. So yeah, 2020 may be a little less exciting!

Now for a little bit of a shitty part of 2019. I found out a friend of mine died, and that left me feeling down as hell. Of all the people, I never imagined my friend Jay would be one to go so soon. He was a massive character, big heart, and a bigger laugh to match. To hear him pass was frigging heartbreaking, and I don’t think I’ll stop visiting him anytime soon.

 Do I know what the next decade holds for me? Not a clue, but I’m glad I’m not alone for it, with Gabby at my side, and our wedding not that far away, I’m ready to make her the happiest woman alive, to start the family that we both want (I mean, apparently we’ll have twins when we have kids, so that’s going to be fun!), to live the lives that we want to spend together. To spend time with friends, new, old, and really old. But most importantly, to have her for all of it.