#I feel really guilty about it. idk 😓

[werebutch]

I didn’t want to come out to my mom because I didn’t want her to have any more troubles on her plate. With everything else I didn’t want her to also have to worry about me and grieve over me. Cause none of her kids are normal. But of course my dad has to go and tell her, and now it’s even worse because she has the burden of me being like this, but also the burden of knowing that I didn’t trust her enough to tell her, and that she was the only one who didn’t know. When she thought that we were super close(and we are I just..fucked up..) Ughhhh

[savannahsdeath]

ELLIE WILLIAMS X ANEMIC!READER HEADCANONS

shes basically taking care of you n all:3

mdni please<3

warnings: anemia, a lil of smut

writers note: i swear its okay to read even if youre not anemic:3 i feel like shed do these thingss even to hers not anemic gf.. also this may seem odly specific because im anemic myself and idk this idea randomly came up to my mind so enjoyy !!

SFW

🌿lets start with the fact that an anemic person tends to become tired and sluggish very easily so they (most of them) enjoy any kind of support

🌿ellie knows that your health is fragile so she tries to be as patient and gentle as possible in your interactions<3

🌿when youre not feeling well shes is usually pretty awkward and she has no idea how to help you😓(my poor awkward gf) BUT whenever she doesnt know what to say she just offers to help you out in small ways like preparing food or running errands

🌿if you both live together her GOAL is to keep your house well-lit and cool as too much heat or brightness makes it hard to focus/uncomfortable for people with anemia

🌿she always makes sure you drink and eat well so you have more energy and all

🌿she always gets mad when you refuse to go to sleep because she knows you need to.. even if youre making a cute excuse like

"but els, i want to stay up so i can spend time with you!"

and then she'll roll her eyes at you and say "we can do whatever you want tomorrow, you need to rest now!"

and would even forcefully make you if needed🙏

🌿if its modern!ellie(just ellie having access to a phone), she'll secretly google things about your illness and things like "how to help your anemic girl from passing out every time she misses breakfast" I JUST KNOW SHED DO THAT ISTGG

🌿she would hate to hear you being guilty. like when you say "im tired of you making all the little house jobs just because i mostly dont have the energy to.." she'll go crazy. not in a bad way, of course, but she wont drop the topic until she makes sure you understand she doesnt mind.

🌿she also definitely hates when you want to convince her into letting you help her.

"fuck, ellie, its not cancer, its anemia! i can at least help you" you say angrily. like, really angrily. because youre kind of right (but she doesnt care)

"we've talked about this, lay down and wait for me," she answers sternly. so sternly you feel shivers down your spine.

🌿but when you eventually talk with her (you manage not to start an argument but really, simply talk) she understands your point and promises she'll let you help her with some things

🌿one time you told her that anemic people are sensitive to the cold and its true but now she overuses it as an excuse to cuddle up with you. like she couldnt just say she wants to be near you. istg, this woman...

🌿she ALWAYS lookout for things that could potentially cause bleeding

🌿she loves when you blush. more than anything. mostly because anemia makes the blood blah blah idc basically anemic people dont really blush so when you actually do she would just stare at you with a wide smile. and when you ask her why is she looking at you like that she wont admit it just like that, shed say something like "you just look more colorful than usual"

NSFW

🌿anemic people often have pale or translucent skin tone and that makes bruises really visible. and we all know ellie can be rough. so when she wakes up after a.. long night and she notices what she did, she feels so bad. like really bad. she apologies as soon as you wake up and of course you try to convince her it doesnt hurt, because it really doesnt and you, in fact, really enjoyed all of this, but she thinks youre just lying to make her feel better

🌿one time you woke up in the late evening after one of your naps. usually, ellie stays with you - awake, watching you sleep and drawing something in her sketchbook but this day you woke up to an empty bed:( you quickly stood up to look for her and after a few steps, your little anemic head started spinning from the sudden move. your vision got blurry and eventually completely black. you felt your knees getting weak but right before you could fall someone caught you. your lovely hero - ellie. you leaned on her as she held you from behind, what could look like a normal hug for someone who just saw you both like that, and you felt the bulge in her pants pressed against you. why the hell would she wear it now? you failed to stay quiet and you let out a soft moan. your girlfriend noticed that but she thought its caused by your health state

"shh, shhh... it's okay"

when your vision was back to normal, you turned around and kissed her as a simple way to thank her for being here with you. before you could think, you were grinding on her lap, getting ready to take her strap while she firmly held your hips, guiding them to move back and forth 🥰🥰

[muqingswife]

how i think modern!aemond looks like

note: english is not my first language, im from brasil i speak pt br português brasileiro and im using the translator sometimes, sorry for my mistakes

lets goooo 😋

first off all, his family would remain a monarchy, maybe like danish royalty (i read somewhere that the Danish royals have more political power than the British royals or something like that, and i honestly cant think the Targaryens giving up any power that they could have) and here we DONT have incest (at least not the ones that would be shocking in our current society)!!!! read my thoughts below:

viserys didnt die yet and still being the king

daemon is viserys cousin so she can marry daemon with "no problem" and shes the heir of the iron throne

the line of succession to the throne would be: rhaenyra, jacaerys, lucerys, joffrey, aegon and viserys (idk whos the eldest), aegon, helaena, aemond and finally daeron

he knows he wont be king unless some catastrophe happens and kills his whole family but still a little bit jealous

aemond takes advantage of being the 9th in the line of succession, since he has very "few" spotlight on him, so he can live a normal life like all of us mere mortals

uses his prince title when needs something (that includes the girls 🤭)

think im done about the political part of his family so lets move on to physical appearance and hc about him and his relationship with family

aemond doesnt have long hair like in hotd, his hair is more like tom or billy (personally billy is my favourite)

ewan smile is so pretty i cant 😭

def wear an eye patch bc dont have one eye, obviously he dont lost his eye on a fight about claiming a dragon, but maybe he fell on a shard of glass or lucerys pushed him into a sharp rock which caused the scar and pierce his eye (my poor boy 😓)

ATHLETIC BOY!!!!! im talking about both body and style, ewan practically only wears adidas and aemond being a mama's boy, coming from two rich families buys everything that is adidas clothing

and you guys see ewan in world on fire and his new photoshoot like bro his muscles are heavenly 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 (só uma chance ewan, pfv 😭

aemond smokes A LOT, i mean aegon get drunk every week (if he doesnt do it every day 🤷🏻) and helaena has her bugs collection, so why he cant do something he likes and help him to destress?

for a 100% sure hes alicents favorite boy and daerons favorite brother

daeron probably just thinks his brother is the best in the world, the bravest, the most beautiful and everything a child can think of their big brother (he also thinks the scar on aemonds eye is really cool and when he was a child, like 4 years, he took one of his eye patches and put it to look like aemond

and about alicent, just look at their hair in hotd, those are the most hydrated hair of the entire series!!! ok joke, aemond was a quiet child, never gave her much trouble and was the first child she could call "her own child"

aegon would be to the realm if something happened to rhaenyra before she sire heirs and we all know how his temper is ☠️

helaena in my hc is autistic, some autistic people dont like other people touching them and helaena would be one these

as a child, she would reject alicents hugs and affections, in addition to being very difficult to communicate with her

contrary to all that, aemond was a perfect child, he would be glued to alicent 24/7, wanting her hugs, kisses and affection, his mothers affection.

she was his confidant when he was suffering and crying, she helped him with the school activities that he had difficulty, she was the one who stayed by his side in the hospital when he lost his eye

and aemond returned all the love his mother gave to him taking care of her and being the best at everything he did, just to make her proud of him

its aemond whos sitting next to alicent when she cries worried about being attracted to women and wipe her tears, she feels guilty for doing something that is said to be "wrong" in her religion (alicent para meninas, rhaenyra is her girlfriend canon

now leaving the sad mood aside lets go to more aemond's hc + dating hc

vhagar is aemonds lizard and she has a HUGE terrarium in his room with everything and more a lizard needs.

he is studying politics, international relations, history or philosophy in college

probably his girlfriend (me and you obvious) would be on one of these classes too or something like that

the BEST boyfriend ever, he is super respectful and treats his girlfriend like the princess she will be in the future when they get married

romantic dates would be to fancy places that nobles frequent, like operas and ballet but aemond would also take you to a museum, library, dinner at a super expensive restaurant you like and of course, skiing in the swiss alps

if you like a sport or did one, he would be super supportive and take you to every competition you wanted to see/gonna compete in

aemond would spoil you no matter if you have money or not

have you seen a prada bag online? it will be in your hands the next morning

did you make a comment of a swarovski necklace you saw at the mall? he bought the necklace and one more set of jewelry

are you undecided whether to buy a Chanel or Dior perfume? no problem, the two perfumes will be on your table when you get home

aemond would be very insecure about his scar and eye, and really wouldnt think himself worthy of you

but you are here with him to tell him how important he is to you, how handsome he is and how much you love him, when he heard you say that, all his insecurities would go away

and he absolutely LOVES that you touch his hair, massage, wash his hair and make mini braids on it

anything you do he loves 💗

[moonhoures]

📰 𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐄: 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒!

literally me rn 👆🏻

anyways, hello my loves! i’m here to give you some updates on where this blog stands and is (hopefully!) going 🤭

first, what the fuck happened? 🫣

it’s been pretty much exactly a year since i dipped from this account (again). i’m sorry about that. i got a little overwhelmed and frankly just didn’t feel motivated or excited to write for a long time. i tried writing a few things (and got a little far tbh) but i just wasn’t satisfied with any of it. i even had a terrible moment or two where i got very close to deleting this account entirely but i decided against it as i’m really proud of some of the things i put out, and i would’ve been really sad to see it go. i also love all of you very much and appreciate everything you guys have done for or said to me, and i would’ve felt really guilty taking this blog away from you guys. so i promise i won’t be doing that any time soon!

second, first love 🥰

i’m sure most of you have seen my teaser for first love part 5 by now (which, yes, will unfortunately be the last part for the series 😓) but!! i have like 1 or 2 small things i plan on posting before hand to keep you guys fed since it won’t be posted for another month or so. i’ve been working on it as much as i can for the past couple months, but i do work basically every day so i can only write so much 🫤 but yeah, that’s how first love is! i’ll explain some more on it when i can!!

third, asks/messages 💬

i’ve gotten so many sweet messages since i went MIA (a little under 40 😭). i’m sorry to keep all of you waiting, but i promise i’ll try to answer them soon! i did get some negative comments about my absence and such, but i won’t be answering any of those publicly. i don’t want to feed into them. i understand i’ve done this multiple times & it’s annoying, and i apologize for that. writing is a big passion of mine (as is interacting with all of you!) but it can get draining running this account sometimes. i’m trying my best, and i appreciate your patience with me. i’m definitely undeserving of it.

fourth, also! ☝🏻

i have decided that from now on i will not be taking requests. as much as i love writing specific stuff that you guys want, it does give me a little anxiety. so i will only be taking very limited requests for drabble games and stuff like that in the future. i hope you guys understand 🫶🏻

i also decided to delete my twitter account (well, it kind of got hacked? i think? idk i had trouble with it and basically can’t get back in and don’t want to create a whole new one) so i wont be answering asks with twitter links anymore for this reason.

fifth, comebacks?! 🤩

i’ve recently tried to catch up on some of the comebacks i missed. txt’s temptation ep, monsta x’s reason ep, enhypen’s dark blood ep, and skz’s 5 star album have been in my rotation lately and i love them!! (duh) so if any of you want to stop by my inbox and fangirl over them with me i’d absolutely love that 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

lastly, a thank you 💌

thanks to all of you that continued to follow me, leave likes/reblogs/comments, and message me while i was gone. you guys truly don’t understand how much your support for me means. like i said, i was close to deleting this account all together, but i decided against it, and it was largely because of you. i decided to keep writing because of you. re-reading all of the precious comments you’ve left me on my older work motivated me and inspired me to continue writing first love which sparked my joy again. so, thank you. i also hope some of you read this and it encourages you to leave love for other writers like myself. you could be the one that changes someone’s entire outlook on their account and keep them going. at the very least, you’ll make their day 💕

also, thank you for 4,000 followers??? um what the fuck??? i’ve never had so many people supporting me, i’m actually losing my marbles rn please help me find them??? (that was such a lame joke, okay i’m going to bed soon 😭🥱 ily bye)

i love you. i love you. i love you. more content is coming soon. promise. 😚💗

[httpiastri]

hi jackie im back and im here to yap

also this entire thing is really disorganised (just a warning)

pepe’s 187 seems short?? 😭😭😭😭😭 also im pretty sure 187 is very recent bc this redbull driver database was updated early this year before the f2 season started (sorry ive realised how insane i must be to know this but i can’t tell if i agree with the measurements because sometimes i think pepe and ollie should be around 190?? minimally!!)

also the girl who edited pepe to guilty as sin is literally so sweet omg 😭😭 ill def make my own pepe playlist soon bc i need it for myself—don’t know if ill ever share it (although i do listen to so much international music from asia, europe, and literally everywhere else so it might be a pretty disorganised mess)

i saw pepe’s pics this morning when i woke up and i ACTUALLY screamed/squealed out loud and now i realise it’s the stubble/facial hair (i kinda think it’s way past the stubble point but regardless of what it is, i love it so so much)

omg also youre so right about liking when pepe shows emotions?? i love him being all soft and sweet but i also want to see him salty and upset and angry like idk i find it so very attractive when i am reminded that he is human?? idk if that makes any sense but i love it when people are raw and so so genuine with their emotions and i also love when he talks about stuff i barely know about because i love intelligence and i love him

and omg feeling guilty about not using the resources you have is so so real 😭😭 my parents are first gen immigrants and im the first child and so i feel so guilty because of how privileged i am compared to my cousins and stuff, especially since i live in one of the strongest academic countries but am still so lazy at times 😕😕 ESPECIALLY since ive had more opportunities than the average student academically because i was gifted but now im there’s so much guilt surrounding not going the mainstream and highest pathway BUT OMG your sport i completely forgot about that but don’t you coach kids or something?? i feel like i have a vv faint recollection of that because i used to follow you from my old blogs but i’m not too sure 🤨🤨 still isn’t it so cool how so many seemingly insignificant things can suddenly turn into such a big part of your life one day?? i find that concept so cool to think about all the time (like in my un-anonymous ask a while ago i mentioned what i was studying and… i used to be so invested in those themes? like it was never serious, i just dabbled in it here and now my career plans kindaaa differ from what’s expected in this field of study but its cool that im getting to experience what i used to imagine for fun and it’s also sort of led me to consider this career path that MANY childhood friends/people who knew me used to think i’d go into, even though i never once mentioned or even considered it)

i believe in karma too!! i think that if you are a kind person and do things with the best of intentions then that will be exactly what is reflected in every aspect of your life. i am also a strong believer that pepe WILL do well for the rest of this season, from this race onwards. i also have such a good feeling about monaco, and it’s not just because of all the pepe content that’s been put out recently… i think 🫣🫣

omg i remember you complaining (?? pls forgive me i have no other word choice rn) about how he didn’t get a penalty, and i also cannot remember if he did end up with a penalty… but i don’t think he did? so maybe he’s just serving unnecessary penalties from last year idk but it’s def his time now!!

and thank you so so much for always replying to my asks!! please don’t feel bad about replying late 😓😓 because it’s vv understandable if you’re busy and you really shouldn’t force yourself to answer asks when you’re tired! take care of yourself jackie, and i’m wishing you a lovely day tomorrow!! 💗💗

- 🪷

hello darling !!! very happy that you wanted to come and yap for me <3

SJDFHDK I KNOW ITS NOT SHORT BUT LIKE 😭 it seems short for him? like to me he seems like suchhh a long boyyo?? thoughhhh im just now realizing that he's taller than my older brother..... but okay let me explain my reasoning: in my head 187 isn't super tall because in the handball world (the world i live in), 187 is like kinda average? the guy i used to crush on is a little over 2 meters 😶 and he wasn't the tallest in the team 😶 but yeah tbh it seems reasonable that they updated it kinda recently. but pleaseeee update the f2 f3 websites ☹️

omg... if you do end up wanting to share it, i will definitely be obsessed...... i have been listening to ☄️ anons pepe playlist way too often to not be super embarrassed over it 😭 but like certain songs come on and i just catch myself blushing on the street because im thinking about pepe and... yeah...... 🙃 and omg don't worry about it being disorganised, a broad music taste is the best one 🥰

yeah it was definitely more than a stubble but am i complaining?? actually not (which surprises even me) 🥰 i currently have a very big obsession with just the thought of his stubbe/beard/whatever... just touching it? don't need to be shaving it? kissing him and feeling it slightly rub me and getting to jokingly complain just to see his cute smile and hear his pretty laughter??? y e s

" idk i find it so very attractive when i am reminded that he is human??" !!!!!!!!!!!! agreed 10000%!!! i love it when drivers have emotions that arent just happy or "well something bad happened, shit happens", and especially pepe. and idk it's something about the extreme contrast abt him? because when he's happy then he's so happy, big smiles and sweet giggles. but when he's upset.... 🫠 and omfg you're SO right about him talking abt racing stuff or yes just stuff i don't really get, because intelligence is SO HOT 😁 i could listen to him talk abt racing for hours and hours and never get bored

ahhhh i see i see !!! i relate to you sooo much... i made it through like all of my years of school just by luck and always managing to get good grades even though i didn't put in a lot of effort? but in my later years, as soon as something got a little hard or i didn't fully like it, i just bailed 😶 even though im so lucky to have all of these opportunities.... :/

but yes i do coach kids hehe 🥺 cute that you remembered 🥺 speaking of that, the fact that i became a coach in the first place was kind of just a coincidence aswell, and now six years later it's one of the biggest things in my life and i'll (hopefully) be studying coaching in the fall and just !! crazy how life works out sometimes 🥺 (the guy who brought me into coaching actually passed away recently and on his funeral i cried much more than i ever thought i would because i realized that i owe him like my entire life... idk what i would be doing today without him..... and he probably had no idea how much he changed my life 😭 idk kinda off topic but also not)... but yes it's indeed very cool!!! and like u said, like when people think stuff of/for you that you don't rlly think about yourself but one day you're just..... oh

yes yes 100%!! i love showing the girls i coach about karma, like whenever we do something kind and then get instant karma for it i'm like "girls look! we did a good thing, now we get rewarded!! 😁" (im making it sound like they're 5 years old when in reality they're 15 oop-), and this one time when i did something pretty bad we all got bad karma all weekend......... 😶 and ik this was aimed at the monaco weekend buT the next race!!!! a good result in barcelona will feel so much better now considering these last few rounds so im okay with this. i know it will happen 🥰

sjdghkdh complaining is an okay word choice because i was upset about a lot of things that weekend 😭 (though mostly during the sunday-) but no i don't think he got one either? it was probs the teams fault so im sure they got a fine etc? but yeah that could be an explanation 😭 100% about to be his time!!!!

thank you so so so much for sending me asks!!!! no but i will feel bad anyway because i do love writing answers but when i answer so late, it seems like i don't enjoy it? when in reality i love it so much??? idk i just feel so guilty and 😭 im so sorry. but thank you again for keeping on sending in asks!!!!! truly makes my day every time <3 take care of yourself too, hope you have a lovely rest of this week ❤️

[sehodreamsthoughts]

plsss pretty sure i read arbitrage n absolute chanyeol too🤭🤭 there was also a luhan x sehun fic i think where they worked together n i think there was cheating with jongin or smth but it was really good but never got finished😓😓😓😓

baby i have more thoughts about feeder!sungchan so bad but now i’m thinking about loser!yangyang god it’s hard being me😔 lmfaooo

who do u like most in ateez rn? i think i’ve said before my bias is wooyoung n then maybe mingi, i love them all a lot though like they’re all special to me<3 i think i saw u talking about wooyoung (saw ur gif reblog he’s soooo fine), hongjoong, mingi, and idk who u were referring to as the angry guy? jongho or san maybe? or seonghwa??

- 🥟 anon

Cheating with Kai... Damn I can't remember with all the stories I've read 😭

Loser yangyang loser yangyang 👀🗣️ I adore him so much I have a draft with him I never finished but it was so dirty 😭(and I'll tell you because I abandoned it too haha), it was about plus size reader fucking yangyang and enjoying it but keeping secret because he was a cinema student and he was pretty... Unique, like wearing thick hoodies in summer, longish hair, a loser in the max expression, and it was kind of sick because at the end of fucking he'd stay by your side until you fell asleep but when you woke up he'd always be in front of his computer watching porn 😭 and it was porn with skinny women so it made you sick fucking someone that watched such content, he'd always be like "it's for a project" but it was so fucked up that he always did it with you there that you always left and came back feeling guilty (he fucked you so good you'd come back) and then you got tired of him so you walked to him when he was doing it, and there you noticed that he wasn't really getting hard on it??? So you finally asked him why he was watching, and he said that he didn't really feel excited when he saw it most of the time, but then you choose the video, which was with a chubbier girl and he instantly popped a boner 😭 you found this so adorable you asked him "then why are you excited now?", to what he answered "because I'm not thinking about her... I'm thinking about you" and he was so pretty with his red cheeks and stuttering that you gave him a handjob while he watched the video, of course while he did it he had to say everything that went through his mind "I want to fuck you like that... You're way prettier than her, the prettiest girl... Fuck I love how your chest moves when you ride me like that"

I'm so sad that I abandoned that fic 😭

Hahaha I thought the angry man was Hongjoong but now that I know them more I see why you'd say Jongho or San 😭. I was referring to the leader because I saw him all angry at those awards telling the staff to do their job and protect the fans, I also saw a video of him saying to the maknae "do you know who I am? How could you not have called once?" And to woo "Would you like it if I forcefully touched you?" "Set the table" also he getting all fuzzy when fans ask him if they can like other idols 🥵, he has these daddy vibes that I always fall for 😵‍💫

[comfortfrogblog]

tw: blatant mentions of sh.

i wanna talk about this ask i received, but it will all be under the cut so please DO NOT read if it will be triggering to you. it’s likely that i will be deleting this soon because it is not something i want on my blog. ausbjsks but maybe i wont but idk idk this is just such a hard topic and i am so worried someone will be triggered or offended aaahdhnsjdamdhkd idk i’ll see how it goes

anon i care for you and feel for you so much, you have no idea, but this is a scary thing to be telling me, and it’s a scary thing for me to put on my blog. i don’t want to make you feel guilty, because i know that you probably already feel that way if you are doing this, so i’m going to tread lightly.

i know that you are hurting. i know that you need help, and i know that you know you need help. you would not be sending this ask if you did not want help. but this is not the best solution. i am not an expert, i can hardly intervene, however much i wish i could. i implore you to find someone in your life you can tell this to—i can’t tell you how important it is that you are able to open up and let someone else help you carry this burden. it feels so shameful, so so shameful—like im not gonna lie lol—but once it’s over, you will feel so relieved. the shame doesn’t really go away completely, but it can be replaced with time, and having someone to back you up is so important. it’s not easy, but it’s possible.

i don’t know the reason you want to do it, but i know some of the most common ones—people often do it as a form of punishing themselves, or it is a coping mechanism to feel something. so i just want to tell you that i hear you and i see you. you are not crazy, you are not out of your mind. you are human, you are hurting, and you are looking for an outlet.

i don’t know if you have done it before, and i can’t tell you to stop. i know personally that that doesn’t work. if this is a habit, please know that it can be replaced with better coping mechanisms. hopefully you will be able to cope in a different way in the future, because you are hurting you beautiful, precious body :(

anyways all that said, anon, i want to tell you in confidence that im actually going through the same thing at the moment. i want to do it too. but im wondering if maybe you’d like to make a deal with me: we can try to stay clean together. if you want, maybe you can update me each day, like send in a certain emoji that means you got through the day. no one else has to know what it means—just simple and easy, send in an emoji, and i’ll know. and i’ll be right there with you. (it’s okay if this sounds silly to you, i just wanted to propose an idea).

i know how much you are hurting, okay? please, if you can, find someone safe to share this with. i know my blog is a safe space, but i don’t want anyone else to be triggered, so i have to ask that we don’t send asks quite like this in the future😓i care for you, i do, and im glad you got the courage to put this somewhere—that’s a very good thing. but for the sake of others, this really isn’t something i can safely have on my blog.

anon, i wish for your safety tonight. you might feel so alone, but please rest in the knowledge that you are so important and you deserve better. there are good things in store for you.

[keiksy-cake]

Raining Star Rainy Star idfk [Request]

The artist for this one hasn’t responded to me, so I will attempt to provide an explanation of what I think is going on :)

It might be based on a book with the same title by Yoshimitsu Takuki, which is about a person with AIDS. I think in this story Prussia is the one with AIDS, though it isn’t said, I’m only basing that on the assumption that is based on that book. The comic is very vague and poetic so I had a very hard time telling who was speaking and wtf they were talking about, oof

The title means something like “Raining Star” or “Rainy Star”, idk tbh 😓 The first four kanji mean rain falling down and then the last one means star apparently? Maybe “Rain And Stars”?

Russia is running in the forest, it’s raining and foggy. He sees Prussia, who’s in a poncho and makes Russia’s heart race. Russia explains that he ran away (he doesn’t explain from what but I assume it’s emotional) and was scared. He’s lost and asks Prussia for directions. Prussia turns away before answering, so Russia calls out to him and reaches out for his hand, but Prussia quickly pulls away and tells Russia he can’t touch him. That’s just the way it’s supposed to be. Assuming it is based on the book, I think Prussia is being ostracized by the rest of their town for having AIDS, and likely that others have been too afraid to even touch him.

Russia thinks about how his hands felt really cold. And even though they were deprived of temperature, he refused to let his hands be held. He compares it to the fog, I think because we can see fog from the distance, but when we approach it, it disappears as though it’s running away and refuses to be touched as well.

Russia tells Prussia that even though his hands would be expected to be cold since it’s raining, that he somehow felt like his hands would be warm. Russia also asks Prussia why he’s collecting rainwater, and it also seems that Russia hadn’t heard about Prussia and his illness before. Prussia explains that the rain in that area has a gentler smell. And then I don’t know who’s speaking, but there’s the lines “it’s like you” and “it’s different”. I think Prussia is being insecure and saying he (himself) isn’t gentle like the rain?

Prussia then suddenly kisses Russia. I think maybe Prussia was just feeling very touch starved, and I don’t condone kissing without consent but at least Russia didn’t seem to mind. Prussia explains that he’s out there alone so “that guy” doesn’t have to cry. I think maybe he’s talking about his brother (Germany) or father or idk, they’ve probably been devastated by the situation, so Prussia likes to go outside so that they don’t have to be reminded of the AIDS by always seeing Prussia. That’s my guess. Russia says he likes the fog as a metaphor for Prussia maybe.

It then skips to the future where Russia and Prussia are living together. Russia wakes up crying from a nightmare. He explains that he dreamt Prussia had left him. He then makes Prussia promise that, wherever it is, to not go. He cries and feels guilty for always annoying Prussia (implying Russia cries and feels insecure about their relationship often). Prussia reassures Russia and says to not cry, so he cheers up and says thank you. They then notice that the sky is clear tonight.

I might be wrong in a lot of parts, but hopefully not 😅

The pixiv id is 49347019

[cemeteryrocks900]

Lunch (top left): I did another challenge of mine which I’ve already done with the pasta, but I made a double serving for me and my boyfriend (there was definitely something missing but we couldn’t figure it out) but I’ll give what it is but the measurements are too confusing

Ground beef

Broccoli

Home fries

White rice

Snack!! A smoothie bowlll!! I started getting worried at this point because I’ve been out eating my boyfriend all day and it makes me sad bc I wish he would eat more:( here’s the bowl deets

1.5 cups ish of quartered frozen strawberries

1.5 frozen bananas

2 chunks (literally 2) frozen pineapple

About 1/2 cup of orange juice

Dinner:( we went to a hotdog place and I hate going out bc I had my food planned and my mom didn’t want it and we were out seeing my grandma to help chop ice out of the way

1 hot dog, light ketchup

Almost all the onion rings😓

A good amount of fries

Ugh I feel so gross about this still

Night snack!!! Strawberry milkshake (fear food!!!)

I’ve always told myself I don’t deserve a milkshake (1 I’m allergic 2,it’ll make me sick 3,so so high in calories) and I still feel horribly disgusted in myself and guilty about this

I don’t even want to try to calculate the calories for today I’ll probably give myself a heart attack

My stomach is bloated by 5.5 inches, omg do I look so pregnant, I would show you guys but I’m a minor and I feel like that would be b0dy ch3ck1ng

Idk you guys lmk bc I’m comfortable, because I know it’s only normal and I want it to be normalized but idk

I feel so so so gross today, my grandma also said to me “someone’s hungry huh?” Because I was trying to finish the food bc I didn’t want anything to go to waste and I had to make up for not eating at home, so that made me sad bc she knows I have trouble eating

I feel really guilty and fat and so bad about myself, I’m having a bad day with my body but I’m glad I got to see my boyfriend today, but ughhh the day went by SO FAST

I feel like I have no time In the day for anything

My boyfriend helped me with my math midterm that I get to take from home, I got 3/4 of the whole thing done so I’m going to post a to do list after this

But I gotta get ready for bed first

Hope everyone is doing good today, ik I’m posting very late!