#I feel numb I feel sick

[mfjenks]

season 4 in nutshell (IT'S BEEN JUST 2 EPISODES HELP)

yes, I know what the show I'm watching and love it for this, BUT HEY PLEASE STOP I WANNA KMS YOU SAID IT WOULD BE FUN

[simarcana]

Yesterday I was thinking about something "dumb" but I'm posting it anyway: no one is here on Simblr TO make content. We're here to have fun, post what we like and most importantly WHEN we like and feel like doing it. Some users worry about notes on their posts, or rush to fill up their queues. It's not a job and it's not tiktok! The simblr community is a comfort zone. Take care of yourself darlings, the world is such an exhausting place already and you deserve some rest at least in your free time!

[u3pxx]

i want to have the time and energy again to draw more complicated illustrations. i want to draw drawings within drawings. i want to spend hours on carefully inking, i want to enjoy the rendering process. i want to go bonkers on a piece. hello, can anyone hear m

[screaming--agony]

Dear Diary,

It’s been a rollercoaster of unfortunate events. I don’t feel like a person. I just want to sleep.

[yourdeliciouspoison]

What a worst pain is getting played by someone you lowered your standards for They throw dirt on your name, use you to fill their ego, manipulate your feelings, and destroy you to the point where you never expected that person to dare to do such a thing to you, especially after you gave them everything and drained your love and energy for them

Your pure heart tried to understand them while they were hurting you deeply

[halinski]

rant in tags about perscription medication and withdrawals

continued here bc i reached tag limit and i'm still??

it's kinda scary tbh

like i was scared for years now of what would happen off my meds and

when i tried tapering off my antidepressants oof i was breaking down every day and now i /know/ i'm dependant on them and idk if that's better or worse

and with the antipsychotics it's like i thought they were helping my depression too bc when tapering off i was also so panicked and depressed (tho my situation is kinda stressful rn)

but idk i've been trying meds on and off for half my life now and most of the time i'm like 🤷

but the truth is

it's fucking scary how it messes with your body

it's fucking scary when you're dependant on a pill

OR ALSO

when pills fuck your body up to the point you can only eat one thing

bc that's the reason i'm going off the antipsychotics and guess what, i'm able to eat more again now

idk if it's just in combination with the hormon pill tbh i'm just going off both now and we'll see how my iron levels and migrains deal lmao

i feel like i can't think straight anymore

gonna have to get new docs anyway so we'll see what they say if(/when) i go anemic again or if going off the antipsychotics will actually fix the issue??

if so, then it'll be like how did this sneak up on me, i've been taking them for 2.5 years like

??

and now i've lost 20lbs despite trying everything to maintain or gain some the past year and a half and i'm at my lowest weight since i was like a preteen lol

and that's all bc of a med that didn't feel like it had an acute effect

or maybe i'm so removed from my body i didn't notice until i got the acute gastritis ??

i mean i can't even be sure its the meds or not until i'm off

and tapering the rest off is gonna be so fun fuck

i dont wanna

i wanna be able to eat more than bread i guess but at this point the thought just scares me and like i associate it with pain and nausea

which as long as i can manage it is fine

but i've only tapered off half, i still have to taper off the other half of the dosage 😭

and with the hormon pill gone again the worst menstrual pain will be back and idk how to manage that, i guess hopefully with the meds gone i won't go anemic again but who knows at this point??

also praying my migraines don't come back but uh... i am pessimistic. i don't have much hope

anyway

moral of the story.....

ALWAYS MAKE SURE TO TAPER OFF YOUR MEDS KIDS BC EVEN JUST TAPERING IS SCARY AND GOING COLD CHICKEN IS PROBABLY HELL

doctors can be annoying (and make things harder, like in my case bc i literally asked if it could be my current meds MONTHS ago, and everyone was like noooooo but guess who was RIGHT) sometimes BUUUUT you should listen to them avout certain things

like

tapering off meds

[skwivr]

-

[jvzebel-x]

[thehauntedp0et]

I mastered the skill of avoidance

from my mother

I learned walking away is all you can do

For the people who will never truly listen

Narcissists are never wrong.

I learned that yelling and hitting harmed no one but yourself

from my father

That breaking things

And breaking people

Is a dangerous way to live

A cycle that never ends

No matter how many times you say it will

No matter how good the rage may feel

It will end in nothing but misery.

I barley grasp the craft of saying goodbye

My best friend left me and now I dread just that

So I horde all my memories in a box

Locked away in the corners of my mind

My room littered in objects I will never need

But can’t bear to be without.

I mastered the art of starvation from all the girls on my phone

Telling me the lowest calorie foods to eat

And how much I must run to burn them off

And from my mother I learned

To hate all the things she hated on herself

Starving can only get you so far

Till there’s nothing left to loose.

At one month shy of eighteen

I still don’t yet know

How to properly love someone

How to give my heart away

And trust it won’t be broken

Into a million tiny fragments.

All the people in my life have molded me into the person I am today:

Avoidant

Angry

Apprehensive

Starved

Detached

And most of all

Someone who doesn’t know how to love

But I guess some skills come with time

Time and much much practice.

[drivemysoul]

please keep yourselves safe. please. and i love you all so so fucking much.

[alaskan-wallflower]

(vent in the tags and under the cut. don’t read if you don’t want.)

sometimes i wonder if people would care if i was gone. there’s just no point anymore tbh.

[littlebittywildflower]

Why does vulnerability have to be so hard?

[macabrevampire]

this song is so iconic i love randomly singing it LMAO

[screaming--agony]

Dear Diary,

There isn’t enough space in the world for me to retreat to.

[agentcherricola]

venting in the tags real quick bc it’s 2016 again

[deprixpainsblog]

I feel um i feel

nothing