#I feel like we're going to get it soon though

[squidgamewriter00]

omg hii do you think you could do a jun ho x reader where she like overworks herself at her job and ends up passing out and like Jun Ho like goes full worried mode but then there’s fluff at the end?? otherwise just some Jun Ho x reader fluff is fine :)) thank you!!!

jun-ho x overworked reader

guys tumblr won't let me images to this post how else do I look at junhowhile I write 😢😢😢

junho saw how stressed you'd been lately. working extra hours, skipping your lunch break, getting to work early and leaving late into the night - all because your boss had become extra frustrated lately.

no matter how hard you would try to conceal your tiredness, jun-ho would notice. the way you would cancel dates. the way he could hear you typing away late into the night. how the bags under your eyes seemed to only get deeper by the day.

it's hard for jun-ho to say much to console you. after all, he finds himself the same way at times with the amount of stress he faces. he tries his best though.

because of his work he wishes he could find the time to check in more often. when his mind isn't preoccupied with gi-hun or his brother, he's thinking of ways he can sneak out of work and surprise you (much to your boss's dismay)

one work day was particularly rough. it was late into the night, usually the time that you'd get home to see your boyfriend. all your coworkers had left by then, but you still had one task remaining you were absolutely forced to finish.

usually, jun-ho gets home a bit later than you. this time, however, when he called out your name, he was surprised to only hear an echo back.

jun-ho knew how hard your boss had been on you lately, but he didn't expect you to take so long to return.

when he calls your phone the first time, you don't answer. he calls again, no answer. finally, he resorts to texts, "honey, when's your work finished? x"

30 minutes later when there's no response, he can feel a slight knot tie in his stomach

at that point, he hurries to your work, where he finds you passed out at your desk. he rushes beside you and gently shakes you, hoping that you would wake up.

as your eyes slowly start to blink, he places the back of his hand on your forehead.

"boss, I swear, I'll get the work done," you mumble, flinching to his touch.

"babe, it's me," he reassures, a tremble to his voice. "there's no one else here right now. we're going home, okay?"

the protest dies in your throat as he firmly pulls your belongings away from you. you were too tired to resist. even opening your eyes felt exhausting. the next thing you remember is your boyfriend hoisting you in his arms and throwing you over his shoulder with ease, letting your eyes slowly shut to the steps of jun-ho taking you back home.

the second time you awake you find yourself lying in bed pressed against his chest. as soon as he notices the slight movement in his arms, he quickly shifts upward, making sure to not startle you.

"you've been working too much, haven't you?" he murmurs, his voice still thick with sleep.

you swallow deeply with guilt, the words slipping softly out of you. "i'm sorry babe, I didn't mean to worry you"

"just promise me" he whispers, running his hand through your hair, "no more working this late."

"besides," jun-ho whispers, now in a more playful tone. "i'm much more fun, aren't i?"

cheeky.

[muninnhuginn]

also throwing out a few wild thoughts here after watching the new ep:

why is everyone so weird when hearing cwm's name? as we've seen cwm's thing here seems to be that he 'wants to do better by these kids' (let's ignore the safeguarding issues about saying he wants to be their friends when a teacher a sec). so, speculation: cwm deliberately takes the fall for the actual arsonist who'll likely be either xia fei or wang qing?

and yeah as everyone has picked up on cxs knows way too much to survive this loop - not sure how they're gonna play his death or if they'll specifically tie it up to s2 finale but only a week to go now

lu guang is the subtlest wdym. 'yeah like if we high five we can probably share powers' bestie what. (on a related note, his bit about 'powers are just like traits' vibed really mob psycho to me. I wonder if it's what past cxs 'taught' him about his powers after he'd grown up thinking of them in a less positive way)

said this already in another post but "what's the point in waiting if there's no hope?" is definitely a thematic string to pull on

cheng xiaoshi gets the speech/verbal understanding language module of whoever he possesses but not the written understanding. this is pure trivia, but still interesting to know. we know from his later interaction with vein that he sure doesn't retain the language knowledge after the fact

lu guang and cheng xiaoshi losing connection again during the dive. the show always make a point of highlighting when this happens. was trying to figure out if any other powers could be interfering here as happened with the twins, but touch-wise at least, it seems... unlikely? (though can't rule out other power interference entirely) but if anything, the way lu guang was sweating when we got the focus back to him after the connection rejoined makes it seem like this was an issue on his end (one which ig resulted in cxs having to improvise and therefore get caught from a show perspective). lu guang being ill affecting his powers tracks with what he said pre-twins dive in s2 though. even though the connection itself was likely lost due to the twins, he was still struggling to see everything that happened in the photo before that. I wonder if we'll return to this as a plot point at any point, the idea that lu guang being ill or injured can mess with his powers - there was a post the other day (I think by @ sunslants) about it being neat if lu guang fainted in yingdu because his whole body is giving out under this power, and whilst idk how *likely* that is in canon, it'd definitely add a new deadline to things, if lu guang has to resolve everything before his whole body just gives out

oh yeah seems like vein knows whatever it is that xia fei also knows about the arson. not super surprising but potential motive forming ig?

cheng xiaoshi getting out his feelings to his dad in the form of wang qing was very good but the whole time lu guang was like "yeah sorry I didn't give you a heads up" I was there head in hands like "lu guang. please. this is your MO at this point"

still no answer about cxs' mum and why she followed after cwm then *also* vanished (tbh even the fact cwm up and went full no contact with cxs has me like ??? but I can't tell if we're meant to just let that be or question it further). it feels like there's way more to this, but hard to see how that plus everything else is getting resolved in the one episode we have left

"You're a total control freak" "That's because of you." Lu Guang....

Basketball halo'd Lu Guang when he asked Cheng Xiaoshi to do ibuprofen together....

Cheng Xiaoshi wanting to get revenge on the bullies and Lu Guang instantly responding along the lines of "well, hey, they're all gonna die soon" cracked me up. Was probably meant to be more of an "oof" but. I laughed.

[twst-drabbles]

Hello! this is my first time request something so I hope I didn't break any rules.

I want tooth rotting fluff sanctuary au with Leona and Ruggie. Nothing specific but I want to have a glimpse on their everyday lives with the caretaker mc

Leona and Ruggie 5

Summary: Ruggie and Leona are irritating to deal with when they decide to team up to bother you. Especially when you finally decided to start your walks again.

(Who doesn't like to indulge in cuteness? I certainly do!)

"Ruggie, can you not?" Sure sure, he doesn't really weigh much of anything, embodying the wind, but you never once said you'd be carrying him on your back while hiking. "Get off."

"What? You don't like my company? You're hurting my feelings here." Ruggie did, in fact, not get off and instead wrapped his arms tighter around your neck. You can practically hear the grin on his face, the brat. "I may not be tiny anymore, but this form consumes a lot of energy. I just get tired too easily, Caretaker."

Yeah and you have a flesh and blood body that's aging and breaking down in ways you don't want to talk about. You too get tired! It's why you're walking again.

"Should've stayed home then if you're that bone tired." You reached back and grabbed Ruggie by the scruff. He went limp and it was easy to slide him off. Ruggie was still smiling, though it was a little stiff. Looked funny. "Off you go."

"I didn't realize you've become so cold, Caretaker." Oh and here's the other familiar that decided to tag along as soon as Ruggie that announcement that somehow missed Jack's ears. "Here we are, putting in the effort to keep you company and you punish us by making us walk on our own legs."

"You're not even walking, Leona." He's laying on a large mound of sand that's been trailing behind you like a snail.

Leona waved you off, one arm behind his head. "Don't we deserve to be spoiled a little? Look at Ruggie's face. Can you really say no to that?"

Ruggie, still grabbing him by the scruff, pouted, ears flat against his head as stray leaves gently swayed around his body. You tossed him towards Leona's sand.

Leona gave a bark of a laugh while Ruggie whined out your name.

"Hey, do you really want us to go home?" Leona picked off the twigs and leaves collecting in his sands, flicking them off into a nearby puddle. "We can be quiet if it bothers you that much."

"We can just hide away so you can pretend we're not here, if that's better." Ruggie popped out from the sand, crossing his arms.

…that's a little too serious a tone to take on this early in the morning. That's concerning.

You raised an eyebrow. "You both really want to be with me, right?"

Leona didn't say anything, preferring to close his eyes, while Ruggie gave a big, defeated sigh. "Isn't it obvious? We'd end up worrying ourselves sick if we let you walk all alone."

…ah, alright. That's the core of it huh, worry. Well, hopefully there will come a day where they won't worry about that.

"Then walk with me all you like. Just, no surprise carrying. I need to used to my own weight first."

[ppnuggiexxx]

-> CHAPTER ONE | CHAPTER TWO

•| was it truly worth taking his word for it? how does one even enter hell, or was this all some strange cosplayer’s roleplay you happened to get roped in?

•| taglist :: @z4rph1m ,, @theultimatewaffle

        "fine!" as crazy as the whole situation was, you accepted his invitation. how else do you tell the supposed king of wrath no? not to mention the guys name is satan. honestly, if youre lucky these guys might be cosplayers. but the whole situation seemed surreal, the angel seemed too real.

        "follow me," he smiled and grabbed your hand before leading you away. "where are we going?" you questioned. he led you off the mainroad and into a forest, soon getting lost and turned around with the repeated trees. going into a forest you dont know or aren't acquainted with feels like youre in there for eternity. "the first gate of hell is where we're going." he stated.

        gate? what did he by the first gate? how many are there? "what do you mean?" you asked him, not caring that he still gripped your hand in his. his red eyes looked back at you before looking ahead of him again. "hell is gated off into different sections. there are nine gates in total; three of stone, three of brass, then three of iron." he explained.

        "it's to ensure utmost secrecy and security between the worlds. heaven has nine gates as well. though if you were to gaze upon them there would be nothing. its impossible for a human to see the gates unless theyre an angel. its what makes heaven quite hard to find."

        the deeper in he led you, the darker and colder the forest became. your hands went to your forearms and rubbed against them, your body hunching over to try and maintain as much body heat as you could. it almost felt like it was winter despite it being spring.

        ahead a dark cavern appeared into the side of a mountainside. you didnt even know there were mountains in the area. "who's that?" you pointed to a figure waiting around the cavern.

        "chaos. they usually guard outside of the gates. its to ensure any soul taken to hell doesn't attempt to escape." satan explained, saying a brief hello to chaos before entering the cave. "it does get dark and wet fast, so watch out where you step. ill lead the way though so stay close behind me."

        you nodded and glanced at chaos. they were a creature of unknown nature, they werent humanoid in any way yet didnt look like an animal. it was as though they were a clumb of skin, a few eyes sticking out and having a singular hand at the top. bones and blood stuck out from it. its hard to describe a being that made you feel like puking your insides out upon first glance. you turned your head away from chaos quite fast. you didnt want to look at them if you didnt have to.

        "can you tell me more about hell?" you asked and followed after satan, noting how dark it got. your hands stuck out in front of you, catious with your steps in case you run into a wall.

        "what do you want to know?" he asked, walking swiftly down the tunnel.

        "like, about the inside. where in hell are you taking me? is there cities? or is it like how biblical books say it is, a rampant city filled with torture and death?" you asked, curious as to what you would see. its not every day you take a trip to hell after all.

"well, we're going to gehenna. thats where i rule in hell. there are seven different nations, and to get to them you have to go through the gates. gehenna is protected by the first stone gate." he said before stopping in his tracks. "the further down you go, the colder it becomes. the more of a wasteland hell is until you reach abbadon at the bottom. abbadon is hotter than anywhere in hell, its the core of it. under abbadon? im not sure what lies there." he said.

"now, we wont be able to continue walking through. you'll have to crawl. its wet though, so be careful." he warned before taking off his jacket and holding it out to you. you raised an eyebrow at him before taking it and putting it on. "is there water?" you asked. he simply nodded before dropping to his knees and hands, crawling into a small hole. it was hard to see anything but the area itself closed off abruptly into a small crawl space.

who knew hell would be tricky to get to? you soon got on your knees and hands, the stone beneath you slick and cold. maybe you shouldve asked if he had gloves. feeling around for the hole, you had a small idea of how big it was, which wasnt that big at all. you had to keep your head down so you wouldnt hit it on the top of the crawl space.

crawling through felt weird, at random points it felt warm, then cold again. it was a repeated process, and sometimes it felt like something was touching you at certain parts. hopefully it was just the rock and nothing else.

"be careful up here, it gets smaller. you'll have to crawl on your stomach here." satan warned from ahead of you. it was like how people described entering hell to be. being forced to crawl on their stomachs, wriggling like serpents to trespass into hell.

it was hard to move through. your breathing quickening as you wriggled around in the tunnel. just how long was this going to take? how far down is hell? were you even going down, or was it straight? how was minhyeok? it had to of been morning by now, and he would be worried. maybe you shouldn't have came along, maybe you shouldve gone back to minhyeok?

it was too late to turn around now, incapable of moving backwards without knowing where you were going exactly. there had been a few turns through the tunnel. and you couldnt turn your body around, it was too cramped to do so.

"stop...." what was that? you couldnt see where the voice came from, but it sounded right on top of you. "hello?" you called out.

        "stop....moving." it almost sounded as though it was struggling to talk, like their words were forced between harsh breaths. you squinted your eyes and looked around as best as you could, desperate to find where it came from.

        "ignore it." satan called from ahead of you. why? what was it? some sort of mythical creature meant to drag you to temptation? you didnt want to find out, truthfully.

        the tunnel beneath you got slimier, sticking to your hand the further you crawled in. it felt like the stone turned to mush, almost equivalent to fat in a way. you heard a pained groan that didnt come from you or satan. your head tried to look around you, but the tunnel was too narrow. why did the ground beneath you feel oddly like skin?

_______________________________

birds chirped and flew across the sky, city almost a direct copy to any on earth. tall buildings and shops spread around, citizens walking about with their days. the only difference is that they were devils, horns big and visible as satan's. though some had little horns, so little you'd have to squint your eyes to see.

"welcome to gehenna." satan smiled at your expression of awe and wonder. "and welcome to hell." he grabbed your hand again and took you through the streets. it was almost like walking on the red carpet with a celebrity; citizens immediately noticed their king and you beside him. their faces held curiosity yet no ill intent.

he led you towards the largest building in the center of the city. it looked almost similar to a cathedral; stained glass windows covered the outside. it was larger than any you'd seen too. "my nobels and i live here." he explained as though he could read your mind.

        "what are they like?" you asked, a little nervous. you were still wary of the whole 'devil' thing, especially seeing as this seemed as legitimate as it could get. what weirdo shows up randomly to just lead you through a gross and disgusting tunnel into another city? how could a random crackhead explain what chaos was, or the things you saw? not to mention all the devils around you, eyes piercing into the back of your skull. was this just a surreal lucid dream? you didnt even know you could lucid dream.

_______________________________

        loud yells came from inside the room, the sound of complaints and cursing clear as day. satan grinned, waiting a moment before leaning his head against the door. "it seems theyre in an argument," his eyes widened and lit up. he waited another moment before busting the door open, any and all conversation taking place before was stopped.

"your majesty satan!" a blue haired devil announced. he had one horn on the side of his head and eyes similar to satan's, yet his were pink with blue saint peter's crosses. these devils sure like that cross, despite it not being demonic in any way.

        there were six devils in the room altogether, not including satan. one red one, small and squishy with small horns and wings. they had a dopey look on their face. another stood next to the blue haired one, long bangs covered their eyes. their horns were smaller than the others, yet a small red creature sat upon them.

        then a tanned devil with white horns curled over their head, with long white hair and blue eyes. two devils stood the farthest away; one with short hair and a long singular horn. next to him was a devil with three horns, all different colors, long, blonde hair and decked out with the color pink.

        all the devils in the room stood up from their chairs and kneeled before their king. "sitri," satan said to the blue haired devil. he looked up at him, eyes only focused on him. none of the devils bothered to look at you, eyes closed and heads pointed towards to floor.

        "ive found solomon's descendant."

[wardenparker]

In the Still of the Night, ch 10

Zach Wellison x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

Grown up and looking to the future, Zach Wellison and bunkmate Shane Morrissey are working for a new cruise line that offers its guests a vintage Vegas experience on the Mediterranean. The romantic atmosphere is rubbing off on many of the crew members, and Zach finds himself to be no exception when he meets the beautiful lead singer of Shane's band.

But being wrapped in the seductive arms of an atmospheric cruise is a far cry from real life. How will their relationship fare on dry land? They can't know unless they try.

Rating: M for Mature but this blog is always 18+ Word Count: 6.9k Warnings: *Blanket warnings for this story include: Cursing, alcohol, food, cooking, eating, discussion of clothing/costumes. Mentions of prison time served, mentions of past homelessness.* Job loss, big life changes, moving, I guess this is growing up. Summary: There are more changes in store for you and Zach and more difficult decisions to make, but sunlight is rising over the next phase of your lives. Notes: Well, my darlings, it looks like this is the last full chapter of Zach and Dio's sweet soulmate tale. Next week will be the epilogue and then the following week we'll embark on a whirlwind romance with Javi Gutierrez!

Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5 ~ Ch 6 ~ Ch 7 ~ Ch 8 ~ Ch 9

It takes a few rings for the sound to penetrate that deep fog of sleep. Comfortably curled around your body, Zach sleeps better now than he ever has before and he is reluctantly pulled away from it as his phone goes off on the nightstand behind him. “What the fu-“ it’s still early, only two in the morning so he’s not expecting anyone to be calling.

"Good morning, Mr. Wellison." The captain's voice isn't unfamiliar to him, but it certainly is a shock to hear in the middle of the night.

“Captain.” Zach completely untangles from you as he sits up, trying to keep his voice quiet as he slips out of the bed. “This is a surprise sir. What can I do for you?”

"We're making calls this morning." The Captain pauses, an audible frown in his voice. "I'm sorry, I'm just seeing now that you took shore leave. It must be quite early for you back in the States."

Zach pulls away the phone from his ear and checks the time. “It’s two thirteen.” He tells the captain honestly. “That’s alright, is everything okay?” He’s confused why the captain would be making calls.

"Unfortunately not." The older man clears his throat, grunts something unintelligible, and harrumphs audibly. "It appears as though the repairs needed on the ship are more extensive than we originally thought," he explains, a glum note of unhappiness in his voice. "And all crew members are being given the option to be transferred to one of the other two ships owned by our company, or to take a buy out of the remainder of their contract."

“Uhhh.” He’s still half asleep and not running on all cylinders, so he turns to see you turning over towards him, still asleep. “I see, um, when do we need to let you know?” He asks, not wanting to make a decision without talking to you.

"We're asking everyone to make their decision as soon as possible," he explains, and Zach can hear a snuffle in the background. "E-mails will be sent out in the next hour detailing both options, but you'll notice a 48-hour deadline on the decision. We know it's fast, but we want to get everyone transitioned and settled as quickly as possible."

“Thank you for letting me know.” He tells him quietly. “I’ll let you just as soon as I can.” He knows it won’t be easy to instantly make a decision, but he feels like he knows what you will want to do, provided the band is in agreement.

“Good. Thank you.” The captain sounds understandably tired, but it isn’t as if this course of action is his first choice. The cruise had been going extremely well from every point of view except mechanical. “Your club has been a great asset to the company, Wellison. Just know we would be very sad to see you go.”

“Thank you, sir.” He knows the captain had come in to dine several nights and he feels like it’s a great honor to be complimented like this.

"Sorry to wake you." It's fairly obvious that he did, but this day is going to be unpleasant for everyone, she the best he can do is apologize. "And Wellison...are you with your soulmate, or should she get a separate call?"

“She’s still sleeping.” He tells him. “I’ll talk to her just as soon as she wakes up. No need to call her separately. I’m sure you have plenty of calls to make.”

"Roger that." The captain clears his throat again and nearly sighs. "Look forward to hearing from you both. Good morning, Wellison." And that's it. Just the click of the line going dead as the call vanishes from the screen of Zach's phone.

Zach stands there for a moment, processing the fact that both of you either have to move to other ships or be paid out for the rest of the contract. He looks down at the phone and then over at you in the darkness of the room before he creeps back over to the bed to climb back in. Things will be changing again and he knows that you will want to talk to the band before making any decisions.

******

The alarm you've set for the morning is on the early side for a Sunday, but you had wanted to get back over to your grandmother's house to sort through some more things before having one last dinner with your parents. The blaring pulls you out of an anxious dream, and you nearly jump to shut it off.

Zach hums, not asleep as you reach for your phone. He hadn't been able to go back to sleep the rest of the night. Too busy worrying and wondering about the future, even curled around you. He watches as you turn back towards him and gives you a small smile. "It's too early." He tells you.

“I know baby, I’m sorry.” You pout but lean in to press a kiss to his lips. “We said we wanted to get stuff done before we fly out tonight.”

He takes the kiss very willingly. "About that..." He pulls back and sighs softly. "I don't think we are going to be flying out tonight."

“Oh god,” you groan instantly. Zach’s obviously more awake than you are so maybe he’s gotten a notification from the airline or something. “Did our flight get cancelled?”

"No." He sits up and pulls you against him. "Do you want to talk now or after coffee?"

“That sounds…serious.” In a week you’ve lost your beloved grandmother, had a falling out with your mother, married your soulmate, and then started to reconcile with your mother. Any more of an emotional rollercoaster and you might just curl up into a ball and stay there. “Better have coffee while you give me the bad news.”

"I don't know if it's bad news," he admits quietly, but he kisses your forehead and unwinds his arm from around you to slip out of the bed. He reaches for his pants. "I'll go grab some coffee from the lobby and bring it back."

“Grab some muffins?” It’s a quick breakfast and enough to get you through, plus it will give you an extra minute or two. “I’ll throw myself under a quick shower and actually be awake when you get back.”

"Of course." He pulls his pants on and grabs his shirt. "Maybe they will have those raspberry Danishes." The hotel actually got their breakfast breads from a local bakery and they were delicious.

“Fingers crossed.” You give him another kiss and pop out of bed to hit the shower, wondering what the hell else could have happened in just the space of a week.

Your room is on the first floor of the hotel, so it's just a quick trip down the hall to make two large paper cups of coffee, sweetener and creamer like you enjoy. Moving over to the continental breakfast to pick up a plate of pastries.

By the time he comes back you’re just finishing up in the bathroom in your last set of fresh clothing. “Alright…” he’s brought back a plate full of pastry choices and your perfect cup of coffee, and you sit down together at the little table by the room’s picture window. “What’s happened?”

"I got a call this morning." He explains after taking a sip of the coffee. "Surprised that it didn't wake you, but you were exhausted last night."

“You got a call this morning?” You really must have been sleeping like a damn log, it was only 8 when your alarm went off. You should have woken up to his phone ringing. It only takes a second, though, before your mind catches up with you. “Is Shane okay? Did something happen?”

"I think Shane is okay." He promises. "The phone call was from the captain."

“Just rip the band-aid off, baby. What’s going on?”

“The ship needs more repairs than they expected.” It was not secret amongst the crew that every port day was spent trying to repair what was breaking but it needs an overhaul. “They are offering to buy out our contracts or put us on other ships.”

‘We’re losing our jobs’ is definitely not the bad news you thought you were about to get, and for a minute all you can do is sit and stare at Zach in a panic. “We’re…” you have to remind yourself to breathe. Things are very different now than they were even a few days ago. Still, it’s a shock. “Shit…”

“Yeah.” Zach chuckles, knowing his own racing thoughts had matched the panic that raced across your face. “We could move to another ship…” he pauses, “but we might not get the same ship.”

"I hate those odds." They could put Zach anywhere and he would be an immeasurable asset to a crew. But you? You'll be singing 80s ballads in an ill-fitting nylon gown faster than you can blink. "But I gotta talk to the band. Shit."

“I know. I figured that you would want to see what their thoughts are before making a decision.” He takes another sip of his coffee.

"What do you want to do?" He must have been thinking about it. About what he would do if the decision was just up to the two of you.

“Baby, where you go, I go.” Zach promises. “Unless you want me to take the ship assignment while you figure things out? Keep money coming in?”

“The day after we get married and you want me to be singing sad songs?” Teasing him is about the only thing that makes you feel normal right now, but you slump back in your chair with your coffee and shake your head. “If not for Gram, that might have been necessary. But between the funds we have now, the buy out from our contracts, and my inheritance? We have a really good cushion.”

“Okay.” He agrees, secretly relieved that he wouldn’t have to be separated from you. “I wouldn’t want you to sing sad songs.” He chuckles. “We talk to be band, see how they are feeling. Maybe they want to continue the contract, maybe they are tired of tiny cabins.”

"I dunno," you huff out a wry laugh. "Our soulmate cabin was definitely bigger than a New York City one bedroom apartment."

He snorts in agreement. “You aren’t wrong.” He shakes his head.

"I hate to say it." The cup of coffee in your hands is a comfort, warming you through with every sip. "But we should probably stay here a little longer. Talk to Tanya about the place in New York. If we're back on dry land, maybe we can speak to the current tenants of that apartment."

“We could fly out there, take a look in person.” He nods. “See what needs to be done to the venue.”

"We should talk to the band and to Tanya before we decide anything." Either way, you realize with a sigh, he's right. You're not flying out tonight. "And I should see if I can get a refund on the plane tickets."

“Fingers crossed.” He sighs. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want you to wake up at two o’clock this morning to worry about this.”

"Two?" Your face drops. "Baby, please tell me you got back to sleep."

“That’s not a big deal.” He shoots you a grin. “We used to get less sleep when we were partying on the ship.”

"Yeah, but we weren't sitting up in bed worrying," you remind him, though your expression turns from worry into a wry smile. "We were drinking and dancing and then going home to have sex."

“Maybe.” He concedes that it was definitely a lot more fun. “But at least I got to hold you while I worried.”

"Next time wake me so I can comfort you instead, okay?" One more sip of your coffee and it's gone, so you set down your cup to lean over and kiss him. "I should call the band. It's the afternoon in Rome already."

He knows it’s pointless to argue that you needed your rest, so he just hums. “Yeah, they should be out and about.”

Something compels you to FaceTime Shane instead of just calling him, and for a second you think maybe you've missed your friend a hell of a lot more than you realized. One hand holds your phone and the other reaches for Zach, anchoring you with support as you push through yet another wave of uncertainty.

As soon as the call connects, Zach knows that the band has heard the news and has probably been freaking out about it all. "Hey man." He lifts his free hand in a wave. "How's it going?"

"Been better." Shane shakes his head and shrugs. In the background you can see the rest of the band sitting around a table and more than a few empty plates and glasses. You caught them after lunch, it seems. "How are you guys doing?"

"Do you want to tell them first?" Zach asks playfully, looking over and tossing you a grin.

"Good news first." You agree, squeezing his hand quickly before letting go to waggle your fingers in viewof the camera. "We got married yesterday."

Zach laughs as the band erupts into shouts of surprise, well wishes and questions. All rapid fire at the same time and sounding like general chaos.

"Everybody chill the fuck out," you're laughing and feeling light all over again, especially when Diana pops into the frame to scream about not getting to be your maid of honor.

“I told you.” Zach laughs and he holds up his hand. “It’s been surreal.”

Another round of screaming happens, as if they all didn't quite believe it until they saw both of you wearing rings, but the joy from your friends is so much sweeter than last night's reception of the news -- no matter how necessary the conversations were that followed.

"That's not why we called," you admit, still laughing at Keo trying to inspect your rings through the phone screen.

“So I take it you got the call?” Cliff asks. “Shane wanted to call earlier but we thought they wouldn’t have called you yet.”

Zach snorts. “Got the call at 2 A.M. over here.” He says. “Not exactly the wake up call I wanted.”

"Cap didn't exactly check out the time difference, did he?" Rick rolls his eyes. "How are you guys feeling about it?" The band all know damn well that you and Zach come as a unit. They aren't going to fight that. It would make them pretty shitty friends if they did.

“Well, that’s why we are calling.” Zach admits. “We wanted to hear your thoughts on it.” They don’t know there is a possibility of another path, but he wants to hear what they think.

"Well...we don't really have a choice." Cliff motions between himself and Rick. "Work is work."

Zach looks over at you. “What if there was another option?”

Shane snorts. "I'm not moving to Oklahoma, man."

Zach nods towards you, wanting you to tell them about the wonderful gift your grandmother left you. “Babe?”

"Thing is..." You sit up straight in your chair like you're just sitting across the table from your friends. Your coworkers. Your bandmates. "I've inherited...something kind of massive from my Gram." In an odd way it feels like bragging, although you definitely don't mean it to be. "Turns out she owned some real estate in Brooklyn that used to belong to my grandfather's family."

"Out with it." Shane insists, seeing you practically squirm in your seat.

"I..." you're holding your breath without meaning to. "Inherited a nightclub."

Instead of the chaos of the announcement of your marriage, this is met with complete silence. Nothing is heard from the other side of the call, not even a chuckle of disbelief as they all stare at you, dumbfounded. Zach looks away from them, to you, and then back at the screen. “Did we lose you?” He asks, thinking the call might have frozen and that’s why they aren’t even blinking.

“You fucking what?” Shane chokes.

Zach chuckles. “I know, I felt the same in the lawyer’s office.” He admits. “We don’t know everything that needs to be done to it, but…” He looks over at you and smiles while holding your hand. “How would you guys like to stay on dry land for a while?”

“Are you fucking serious?” The rest of the band still hasn’t broken yet, but Shane looks like he’s about to cry. He’s clinging to Diana — who also has a distinct shine to her eyes — and gawping.

“Yeah.” Instantly you’re sniffling too, bobbing your head in agreement. “We’re serious. It might be a shit ton of work, but we have to at least try.”

“It’s in New York, so I understand if some of you are hesitant. Rent is high and it’s tough to make it there, but I think we can do it.” Zach murmurs softly. “But could you imagine our own club, like on the ship but we control everything?”

“Does it have a kitchen?” Keo bursts out the question like an explosion. “You’ve got to make your food!”

“That’s one of the questions we need to look into. I think there is, but is it what we will need?” He looks back over to you. “We want to fly out to New York to take a look.”

“Your room at the apartment hasn’t been touched.” Diana promises. “I hope it’s enough room for both of you.”

“I don’t think we will need it.” Zach looks over at you again. “At least— not for long.”

“That’s the other thing.” The sheepish look on your face is almost a grin. “Um…I also inherited a place to live. In Brooklyn.”

“Holy shit.” Rick exhales, shaking his head. “So- this is legit. I mean, we could have a permanent place to play?”

“We need to talk to the People who have been using the space. Figure out what the theater and everything needs. But…” You blow out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding and nearly giggle. “Yeah. This is legit.”

“I’m in.” Keo blurts out. “Immediately. Whatever we need to do. Invest in repairs, swing a hammer.” He has worked plenty of construction jobs to make ends meet when the band first got started. “Don’t get me wrong, the cruise contract was amazing, but if we could do that on land? It would be amazing.”

“No landlord, no dick bosses, no bullshit bureaucracy?” Cliff groans with delight. “The cruise ship was fun, I’m glad I got to travel, but hell yes.”

“Shane? Rick?” Zach asks, looking at the other members. “What do you guys think?”

“Fucking obviously.” Rick huffs at the same time Shane snorts out a “Duh.”

Shane just shakes his head, your amazing and supportive surrogate brother through so many hard years, and a beaming grin cracks his face. “Look at you, kid. Making dreams come true.”

“Not me,” you insist, but the smile in your face matches his anyway. “That’s my Gram looking out for all of us.”

Zach shakes his head. “You also immediately wanted to look after your band.” He’s not going to let you not take your own due credit.

“Of course.” You practically bean at them across the phone call. “They’re my family.”

There’s a surprising amount of blushing and cooing coming from a group of musicians and Zach grins at the way they all repeat the sentiment back to you. “When do you guys plan on flying back to the US?”

“Another day or two?” Shane looks around and all the guys nod.”

“What are you guys planning?” Diana asks with bright eyes. “Maybe you could take a honeymoon?”

He hadn’t even thought about a honeymoon, but he looks over at you to see what your feelings are. “What do you want to do, sweetheart?”

“I guess we could.” You admit, smiling a little wider. “We hadn’t even considered it because we thought we were going back to work.”

“That’s true.” He leans in and nudges his nose against yours. The practical planner inside him is begging to race to New York and immediately start working to set up the club so you don’t have to touch your inheritance, but he can see that you like the idea. “Where would you want to go?”

“Anywhere. Nowhere.” You beam at him again. “As long as I’m with you I don’t care.”

The sound from the band is a unanimous groan of disgust followed by more raucous laughter. “Okay, you guys figure out what you’re doing,” Diana insists. “We’ll bring the stuff from your cabin back to New York with us.”

“Oh god!” Zach’s eyes widen as he realizes that he had completely forgotten about the rest of your belongings. “I’ll send you some money.” He promises Shane, knowing that he might have to ship some boxes of books.

“We’ll manage the logistics, brother,” the older man promises, and points a thumb at his own soulmate. “I’ve got the Queen of organization to help.”

“Thank you.” He smiles at Diana, waving at the other half of his former roommate.

“Anytime,” She promises. “Now go be cute and in love.”

The call ends and Zach leans over, kissing your cheek just to do exactly what Diana said, making you smile. “So what do you want to do, babe?” he murmurs.

“Nothing too big?” It feels wasteful to plan a world tour when you just talked to your friends about starting a business. “Maybe a few days someplace sunny and warm? Even a week if it’s not too expensive.”

“That sounds nice.” He bites his lip and waggles his brows. “Somewhere you have to wear a bikini?”

“If that’s what you want.” You practically snort at how excited he is for the idea.

“Why don’t we rent a little bungalow on a beach somewhere?” He suggests. “Swim, bonfire on the beach, grilling? Lots of sex?”

“Sounds like a hell of a vacation to me.” Leaning into his side, you have a gentle — if deep — sigh. “After the week we’ve had, I think we’ve earned an actual vacation.”

“I think that’s fair.” He chuckles. “We spend the weekend at a little bungalow and then meet everyone in New York? Take a look at our future?”

“We’ve got to check out of here in…” You glance at your watch. “Two hours. I say let’s do some research and figure out where we can transfer our tickets to? But we definitely need to go see Tanya before we leave town.”

“That works for me.” Zach nods and sighs softly. “I’m glad they were all so quickly on board.” He chuckles.

“The chance to do what we love and what we’re good at, on our own terms? I would have been shocked if anyone said no.”

“We’re going to have to work our asses off.” Zach bites his lip. “We need to make a Facebook page, right? Post pictures of the venue, clips of you singing on the ship. Maybe some of my dishes?” He asks, knowing that getting the word out is key to the success of the theatre.

“How about we make a list of what we’ll need to do and any thoughts we have about doing it on the flight?” Figuring you’ll at least be flying somewhere, you lean over to kiss him and get to your feet again with a stretch and a groan. “But Tanya will have information on the current tenants and I don’t want to make any plans until we talk to them.”

“I agree.” He nods. “We will make sure that no one is left homeless.”

“I’m going to get some more coffee for us, then we can pick out a honeymoon destination and get the ball rolling. Sound good, baby?”

Today had taken a turn. An enormous one, really. And while you can’t say you really know what’s coming next in this crazy, chaotic life — you have Zach. And maybe, just maybe, that’s all you really need.

******

Four days later, incredibly relaxed and extremely tan, Zach wheels yours and his carry ons off the plane while you check your messages. Once you had decided on your location and arrived, you had switched off your phones and just focused on each other. Taking a true mini honeymoon. “Do we want to get a taxi or take the subway?” He asks, not sure how many transfers are needed to get to Diana’s apartment.

“I hate taking luggage on the subway,” you admit, sheepish and lopsided grin fully in place in your face. “One more indulgence?”

“I don’t blame you.” He snorts and nods. “Yeah, let’s get a taxi.” Despite having spend three days indulging, you both had been frugal with your money. Zach grilling and cooking in the little bungalow kitchen rather than eating out and drinking.

“It’s a little bit of a ride; it’ll be worth it.” As Zach heads for the taxi stand, you trail just a step behind while you text Diana and Shane that you’re on your way over. They’ve been back in New York for two days and reportedly jet lagged as hell.

“Why don’t we pick up some food?” He asks. “Or is there a bodega nearby?”

"There's a bodega and a little Halal takeout place on the bottom floor of the building." Oh yeah, you're going to miss that place. "Best lamb kebab you've ever had in your life."

“Well, why don’t we order dinner for everyone?” He asks, walking with you towards the baggage claim. “I think we’re tired, they’re tired, an easy dinner is called for.”

"Then it's a good thing I know their orders." You send along another text letting Diana and Shane know you'll be bringing dinner along with your smiling selves, and then stuff your phone back in your pocket.

“Okay. Here we are.” The baggage claim is already running and he starts scanning for your luggage. “You want to go get us a taxi while I grab our bags, babe?”

“Sure.” A kiss to his cheek and you’re off again.

Taxi stand. Baggage claim. A drive from JFK all the way out to the two-bedroom apartment that you’ve shared with Shane and Diana for years.

It’s bittersweet knowing that this won’t be home anymore, but there is an excitement to the next part of your journey.

The apartment is a typical pre-war building, the restaurant on the bottom and there is a door to the left that leads to the stairs for the apartments. “This is a nice building.” He hums as he opens the door and reaches back to help you out of the taxi.

"It's pretty decent. Landlords are nice enough but drag their feet getting anything done. The super is this old Russian guy that I swear partied with Rasputin. At least, that's the vibe he gives off." You thank the driver and pass him a few bills as payment when he finishes taking your bags out of the trunk. "Our dinner order should be done by now, we can grab that and head upstairs."

“You remember that I used to be the maintenance guy for the building I lived in, don’t you?” He asks. “If Diana needs something immediately, I don’t mind doing it. Especially if we are staying here for a while.”

“Of course I remember.” Inside the first floor of the building, you slip into the restaurant and get in line to pick up your order. “The tenants in the townhouse said their real estate agent found them a few good leads so I don’t know how long we’ll be here but I know Di would love the help.”

“Sounds good.” He hadn’t had his own tools, so he didn’t have to store or sell them when he took the cruise contract, but he figures he can pick some up. He would need them for the theatre anyway. And helping you with any maintenance at the townhouse when you move in.

It’s a relieving feeling, to put your key in the lock of the apartment and push inside, calling out through the relatively small space that you’re home. And it’s even more relieving when you hear a thundering set of footsteps and nearly get pummeled by one of Diana’s remarkably strong bear hugs.

Zach laughs when you squeal and hug your friend back with equal enthusiasm. He’s never met Diana in person, but he feels like he’s already a friend through the phone conversations he had been looped in on with Shane. “Where’s your worst half?” He asks jokingly when you both pull apart.

“Shut the fuck up, Wellie.” Shane laughs, sauntering into the living room ready to dole out hugs of his own.

“Oh so she’s not the prettier, smarter, nicer side?” Zach snorts, reaching out and pulling Shane in for a hug and slapping his back with a few harsh thumps.

“Of course she is.” He returns the hearty back slaps and laughs. “But you deprived me of my only chance to be a best man so I’m gonna give you shit.”

“It was her idea.” He throws you under the bus with a grin and a wink. “Blame her.”

“Absolutely.” You grin, happily accepting a bone breaking hug from your friend. “All my fault.”

Diana grins at Zach and holds her arms open. “I feel like a hug is appropriate.” She promises and Zach nods, chuckling as he moves in to embrace her. “Nice to meet you in person.”

“It’s about time, too,” you agree, dabbing fake tears from your eyes and sniffling dramatically.

Zach groans playfully, rolling his eyes and pulling away to give Diana a commiserating look. “She’s hilarious, isn’t she?”

“Hey.” Shane flicks Zach’s ear and steals the bag of food from under his arm. “Be nice to your wife!” He orders, heading further into the apartment with everyone’s dinner.

“My wife.” A sappy look crosses his face as he repeats that he has to move back over to you for a kiss. “Want me to drop the bags in your room?” He asks. “Which one is it?”

“Our room.” Accepting the kiss with an equally gooey grin, you point down the hall. “Is the last room on the right.”

“Last room on the right.” He repeats and starts to cart the bags down the narrow hall, shuffling slightly.

The place is big enough for three without forcing you to be on top of each other and you’ve always been so grateful to Shane and Diana for being the best of roommates. So much so that now, with Zach here, you’re utterly certain that things would have been just fine if you had had to stay.

Once the bags are deposited, He follows the voices back to the main area to find you three opening containers and filling plates with the delicious smelling foods. “So how are you two feeling being back?” He asks. “Still getting used to the time change?”

“We mostly napped and unpacked yesterday.” Diana passes the rice container back across the table as she fixes her plate. “I have to go back to work tonight so I’m enjoying my last few hours of freedom.”

“Do you have a long shift?” He knows her schedule can be crazy and hopes that you both being here doesn’t disrupt her schedule. Taking the plate you hand him, he starts to fix his own food.

“The usual.” She shrugs and silently thanks Shane with a smile when he adds pickled onions to her plate. “Eleven hours. I’ll come home and have a few hours’ sleep and be normal again by noon.”

“Well, do you want us to wait to go see the theatre?” He asks.

“Oh, no way.” She laughs, waving off the kind gesture easily. “I don’t know the first thing about theaters. You all go and enjoy yourselves. Just let me know if I need to patch up an injury during clean up.”

“Shane will make sure he injures something so you get to baby him.” Zach teases, throwing his friend a grin.

“And?” Shane asks, no trace at all of shame in his voice as he starts to eat.

All three of you laugh, Diana rolling her eyes as she leans in and kisses his cheek. “Of course I will baby you.” She promises playfully. “No Nurse Ratchet.”

“Love you too.” He mumbles through a bite and a grin.

The four of you eat eager, Zach groaning over the flavors and starting to analyze how he could incorporate something into his own meals.

“So the boxes we shipped are getting here on Friday.” Shane tells you and Zach about halfway through lunch. “How long are your tenants going to be in the townhouse for?”

“What did she say again?” Zach asks, looking over at you. “Possibly by the end of the month?”

“Mmhmm.” You nod, letting yourself finish the bite you had just taken. “They’re looking at a couple of places this week. She said it was the push they had been looking for to move closer to their daughter now that they have a grandbaby.” It has actually been a joyful conversation instead of a tense one, as you’d discovered that your grandmother had been renting the townhouse in Brooklyn Heights to the same couple for years now. They had raised their daughter in that house, but now that She was married with a baby and the couple were retired, they were talking about leaving the city. “If all goes well, it’ll just be a few weeks.”

“Have the guys found a place yet?” Zach asks, frowning slightly. He knows that this is your room, but the rest of the band didn’t have apartments waiting on them.

“They’re subletting in Queens while they look around for something better.” Diana had been talking to Keo about it just this morning. “Rick’s cousin’s place.”

“Okay…..good.” That makes him relax a little more and he takes another bite of his food. “Hopefully they can find something closer, but at least they have a place.”

“They’ll be good for now.” You agree, equally as relieved that your friends have found space. “The worst-case scenario is that Rick stays with his cousin and Keo takes the room here.”

“Yeah.” He knows that there are options, but his past tends to make him a little more sensitive to those issues. “So, we’ll go tomorrow and see what the theatre is like.”

“The townhouse is three bedrooms,” you remind Zach gently, hearing the worry in his voice. “They won’t have to worry. They can always choose to stay with us.”

“I know.” He loves that you understand his worry and reaches out to squeeze your knee. “It will all work out.”

“One way or another.” You’re all going to take care of each other. That’s a promise that was made as long time ago and you have no intention of letting it go by the wayside now that you can really do something about it.

After the meal is finished, Zach looks over at Shane and Diana, catching both of them giving a small yawn. “Why don’t you two go catch a nap before Diana has to go to work?” He suggests. “We can clean up and settle in.”

“Are you sure?” Diana smothers another yawn.

“Of course.” Zach nods, reaching for her plate. “You need sleep to save lives.”

"We've got it, guys," you promise them. "Go snuggle up and we'll see you in a bit. We'll take care of the place."

Zach watches them disappear down the hall, and he smiles as he stands up. “I’ll wash these up if you will put up the food?”

"And when we're done, I'll give you the incredibly brief tour." There is no such thing as a large apartment in New York City unless you're a millionaire, so there isn't much of a tour to give, but this place will still be Zach's home for a little bit so you want him to feel comfortable.

“Is there laundry in the building?” He asks, knowing that it would be a miracle to have laundry in the actual unit and he doesn’t think that is going to happen.

"In the basement." It's good enough that it's there, you're not too sore about it not being in your own unit. "We all said we would do our own stuff but we ended up sharing things anyway. It just depended on who was having a shittier week that week."

“That seems logical and nice.” He admits with a chuckle. “Sometimes, a basement laundry in a building was the way I would get my own clothes washed.” He admits.

"Hell yeah." The two of you stack up dishes and leftovers together and head into the kitchen. "You do what you gotta do. I'm glad you were able to find places to get things done."

The kitchen is small, tiny even. A glaring light on the fact that most New Yorkers don’t cook at home. The number of restaurants to big of a lure.

"Is it bad that I'm thinking more about getting into our new place than being mindful that I'll be leaving here soon?" You're excited -- and after the haze of combined mourning and steps forward that you and Zach went through over the last ten days or so, it's an odd feeling.

“Not at all.” He admits with a shameless grin. “I had thought to ask if you wanted to walk by the townhouse tomorrow.”

“Absolutely.” There is absolutely no hesitation in that for you. “Let’s get up early and go walk around the neighborhood? See if there’s a good place for breakfast?”

“Also get a feel for it.” He hums. “The theatre is within walking distance, right?”

“Yeah. Three blocks away.” It’s enough to feel like you can leave the place and get a breather, but close enough that if something happens you can be there in a matter of minutes. Perfect, as far as small business ownership is concerned. “I can’t believe they’ve been using it for a cooking class pop up. That’s so weird but also kind of genius?”

“Yeah, and that means there has to be some kind of kitchen set up.” He reasons. “More than just theatre snacks.”

The nightmares scenario had been finding out that the place had a bar and a single popcorn machine, but that seems to not be the case at all. Right more it’s sounding like more kitchen than theater, which means Zach might actually have some good resources to build on. “At this point I think I’m most curious about what kind of office and workspace there is.”

“There’s the real question.” He hums in agreement. “That and what kind of seats are in the theatre.”

“From the way the manager was talking, it sounded like tables.” You’re hoping for tables. Praying for tables. But the key is that they have to be big enough tables to eat at.

“And when we have a chance to remodel the way we want, would you want booths?” He asks curiously.

“Personally, I’d love a mix.” The dream has been building in your head for a few days now and it’s really starting to take shape. “Old school supper club with a floor show style.” You grin sheepishly. “I used to watch White Christmas all the time when I was a kid and I dreamed of getting to perform at Novello’s.”

“Exclusive booths and open tables?” He asks, trying to recall the movie.

“Exactly.” The smile on your face goes a bit dreamy. “And plenty of space to dance.”

“A bigger dance floor than on the cruise ship?” He asks playfully. The dance floor in the club had been a moderate size, but nothing grand.

“Maybe.” The two of you dance around each other now, sidestepping around the little kitchen as he washed the dishes and you put things away. “However big we can manage, really.”

“We will make it happen.” He reaches for your waist and presses his lips to yours. “Our dreams baby.”

“They’re starting a hell of a lot sooner than we thought.” And in some ways, being thrown into the deep end of the pool to sink or swim is going to be incredibly exciting.

“Shit.” He snorts, pulling you close and pressing his forehead against yours. “My real dream came true the day I discovered you were my soulmate.”

“I love you too.” You grin and hug him closer, holding on to every good breath. Every moment is good with Zach and you refuse to let go.

Zach leans back and gazes into your eyes. He has come so far. Learned tough lessons and overcome adversity that might completely overwhelm someone. For some time, he had let his own inner demons take over. Until Justin had taken a second look at him, believed in him. Until Toby had taken a chance on him. Given him a passion to redirect his emotions. Until you had loved him. Given him unwavering love and support. He can only hope that he makes you happy a fraction what you make him feel. Hopes that you will always be proud to carry his name. So many nights, he has stared up at the stars, either on that park bench when he had nothing or leaning against the railing of the cruise ship, and wondered what the future could possibly hold for him.

Now, now he knows that his future is you.

------ Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @haylzcyon   @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan @charlyrmv @avidreader73 @iceclaw101 @loveslide @elegantduckturtle @becsworld @julesonrecord @its-nebuleuse @itsrubberbisquit @mikeyswifie @guelyury @lizzie-cakes @for-a-longlongtime @vabeachazn @purplerain04 @weho2kcmo @madnessofadaydreamer

ItSotN: @greenwitchfromthewoods @copperhalfcent @ariavitiellos @spishsstuff @76bookworm76

[iamumbra195]

Do you ever think about how Ben chose not to speak ever again?

About how he probably tried to sing over and over again when he was all by himself, hoping that one day his voice wouldn't break in such a horrible way when singing a song he used to love before finally giving up because he couldn't stand the sound of his voice anymore?

About how he lost his outlet for stress so he fell into a depression that festered into a rage, all-consuming yet never filling that hole left in his heart?

About how he'd lost his way after being forced to realize letting his anger consume him would have consequences on the people he cared about?

About how he probably felt so alone when his parents sent him to live with his aunt and uncle, thinking his parents had given up on him despite them trying to tell him they were doing it for his own good?

About how he'd found a guiding light in the darkness, a purpose in following Aiden-- someone who was reckless and lived life like there was no tomorrow, someone he knew would always have his back, protecting him just as he did them, someone who would fill the stifling silence with mindless chatter?

About how he's managed to still be so overwhelmingly kind and gentle despite everything he'd gone through?

Because I do.

[pseudophan]

gonna be so sad when tonight is the first preshow space with good audio and i'm asleep because i have a psych appointment tomorrow

[kyouka-supremacy]

Well.

[stemacademics]

small update

ok so um I got my number theory paper today, and the TA had cut marks for me because i left the answer at 66^2 and not 4356 (fermat's little theorem) 😔 I even wrote the full proof

my friend told me I should mail the TA about this, I got 14/20 and should be getting 17or18/20 😔

scores aside, number theory is so much fun, so much fun. the only good thing here is that I know the concepts well, and I fully knew the paper (still fucked it up, because I'm so frickin slow while writing and time). and it hurts worse because there's not enough proof that validates my knowledge. which in turn makes me question if i actually do have any.

I am, in general, a person who does well in concepts but screws up the exams (70% of the time) and I'm trying, I'm trying to get myself out of this "exam paniK" that I often spiral into, just minutes before the exam. I hope I change and grow; I hope, I hope.

[cappurrccino]

i was gonna say "i shouldn't have to go to work when my brain feels like a depression slushie" and then i was like "wait but then i'd basically never ever go to work" and i'm actually doubling down on the first part now bc my god how am i supposed to heal my brain from burning out 5 years ago if i can never get an actual break

[skrunksthatwunk]

household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight

[tokyoteddywolf]

22 isn't very much at all, I think.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

the worst part of having a crush is that it makes me feel inutterably stupid at all times

[mkstrigidae]

Apparently, the solution to my APWH writer's block was just opening up a new word document and rewriting the whole damn next chapter.

[sennik]

so, turns out the best cure for being depressed, overworked and uninspired really is working less, spending time with friends, and consuming media you actually like.

[icantalk710]

🥱