#I feel like someone needs to stop me with this vampire nonsense

[thatfreshi]

I was wondering if you could write Astarion having to tend to a very cuddly drunk female Tav. Possibly having to defend her from other people trying to take advantage of her.

This took me on a very sad adventure

TW - blood and gore, attempted sexual assault, drinking

Recommended Song: Drew Barrymore - SZA

The nice thing about no longer being on wild adventures full of tadpoles and cultists is that you and Astarion can go out drinking like normal people. While your vampiric lover thoroughly enjoys a good glass of wine, he usually stops himself at one. Perhaps he's a little paranoid about you, your safety, but he insists not to have more than one when the two of you are out together. At the house? Sure, he'll finish two bottles with you, the two of you drunkenly laughing by the fireplace, but not when danger could be afoot. You try to tell him he's just anxious, tense, that you'll be alright.

"I'd rather just make sure my love. You indulge all you want darling, I'll be fine."

In one of the more rowdy taverns, you and Astarion sit at a table off to the side, watching people get drunk and dance, bumping into strangers, sometimes fights ensue. As per usual, he nurses his singular glass. You look at him, a gleam of sadness in your eyes.

"Are you sure you don't mind? I can just skip out tonight, maybe we can just drink later, when we get back."

"Nonsense, have your fun my sweet. I insist."

You squeeze his hand.

"Alright then, I'm off to get my second... you can tell me to stop anytime!"

You tease as you slowly walk away, almost backing up into a nearby half-orc. He simply smiles at you, one of those smiles that says everything he's thinking, how he thinks you're precious, how he'd gladly never get drunk again if it meant keeping you. Years ago, he would've never given up a vice for some person. But you, you make this feeling well up in his chest, like he has to hold you close at all times, worried someone will snatch you when he's not looking. You may make fun of him for simply being a paranoid person, but you made it a million times worse.

"I'm back!"

Your voice draws out, and you return with two mugs of beer instead of just the one.

"Already going for three darling? You do remember you're a lightweight, right?"

"I'll be fine. Besides, Mr. Knight in Shining Armor is here to take me home if I throw up on someone."

You lie against his arm, starting on your second drink.

"You did eat before we left the house, right my sweet?"

You look up at him silently. He just sighs, running his hand through your hair.

"Then why did you need to go to the kitchen before we left?"

You giggle a little.

"To... pre-game!"

The laughter rings out of your throat as Astarion sighs, again, more annoyed this time.

"So you're telling me-"

"Already gettin' drunk Aster, it's a great time."

The more and more you talk, the more he realizes your words are becoming more slurred. Perhaps he should've asked before you left, made sure you at least grabbed a bite.

"Alright, you stay right here, I'm going to get you some water and a little snack."

He gets up, swiftly grabbing the two mugs off the table while you protest.

"Hey, I wasn't done with those!"

As Astarion makes his way to the bar, asking for the classic drunkard's care package, he's suddenly nervous. Had you ever been this drunk in public before? Maybe the two of you should just go home, before you somehow get your hands on any more alcohol. After thanking the barkeep for the water and some bread, he comes back through the crowd, and sure enough you have left the table.

"Gods damn it Tav."

After setting down what was supposed to be your little pick-me-up, Astarion quickly moves through the groups of people, knowing you probably just got up to dance. The bard playing tonight was quite excellent after all. However, after looking through most of the common space, you're nowhere to be found. That feeling of panic starts to well up inside of him, where he's only driven by fear. He knows you can't be far, but he also knows most of the tavern-goers here are slimy, horrific people looking for their next bag of gold. Walking through the crowd again, Astarion comes near the back entrance, and hears a conversation down one of the abandoned hallways.

"A gal like you, surprised you're here alone."

He rounds the corner, seeing you and a bulky half-elf, your arms pinned above your head. You seem nervous, but not conscious enough to realize anything is truly wrong. Astarion stalks up behind the wretched man, wrapping his dagger around the half-elf's throat.

"No so alone anymore, are we?"

Your captor surprisingly doesn't stand down.

"You won't do shit. People know me around here, important people, they'd surely have your head if something happened to me."

"Not if I hide your body well enough. And trust me, I have experience."

The two of them are un-moving for a moment as your wrists start to go numb from the pressure. You groan in pain, only causing the half-elf to grab you tighter. As Astarion goes to press his blade into the man's neck, he whips around, pushing Astarion back. Gods, he's tall. You fall back against the wall, trying to nurse the pain in your hands. As Astarion and the stranger fight, you hear the sounds of blades colliding, but your head is spinning. Perhaps he was right about the whole 'eat before you drink' thing.

You're interrupted from your thoughts when you hear a loud thump on the floor. The half-elf almost knocked Astarion out. leaving him on the ground. The stranger then turns back to you, lifting you back up from the floor, going to open the back door.

"What a find. Can't wait to enjoy you."

In that moment, while trying to get his bearings, Astarion realizes this wasn't just someone threatening you, and that disgusting feeling fills his stomach. He remembers how many times he shared his body against his will, and the adrenaline of that anger is enough to get him back on his feet. As you and the half-elf make it out the door, Astarion rushes him, tripping one foot out from under him. And then he drives his blade into the stranger's back, again, and again, and again, and again, and again. He's covered in the sinner's blood, shaking with both rage and misery. The violent display helped sober you up just a little, enough to make you realize that Astarion has killed someone behind the bar, and that it was clearly deserved. He looks up, locking eyes with you, still holding his blade down, as if the dead man needs yet another plunging strike in his back.

"Astarion?"

You ask, your voice full of uncertainty, the past few minutes still a blur. He begins to cry, putting his dagger in the ground, slowly crawling over to where you've ended up on the ground. He holds you tight, almost to the point of pain. He doesn't say anything, and you simply watch the blood pour out of the man's corpse as he grips you tight. Flooding memories cover every space of his mind, seduction, imprisonment, and most of all, Cazador's death.

"Astarion... you're hurting my arm."

You say softly, not fully aware of just how distraught he is, still far too inebriated. You're sad though, because he's sad, and you can't quite put together why. He lets go, wrapping his arms under his legs, crying into his knees. You try to comfort him, despite your state.

"It's okay, it's over now."

You don't even know what's over, but if someone is dead and Astarion is still alive, he must've ended it.

"I know."

He chokes out those two pathetic words, looking back up at you.

"We need to leave."

The survival instinct kicks in, knowing he can't explain why this man has at least five stab wounds in his back. The second one of the bartenders finds this, it'll be over.

"Come, this way, we're going to take the back alley."

Snatching up your arm, Astarion leads you through the darkness, mumbling things to himself that you can't quite hear. The two of you move quickly through the night as you stumble around behind him. When the two of you get home, he gets you some water, leading you upstairs so you can lie down.

"Are you okay?"

Such an innocent question. He knows you'll remember tomorrow, that it's not like you're blacked out or anything, just confused.

"I'll be fine my dove. Get some rest now, it's alright."

It's as if he's trying to convince himself, but it's enough for you in your drunken stupor. You curl up into the heavy blanket cast across the bed, and he leaves a kiss on your head. Not long after, you're drifting off to sleep, exhausted.

As Astarion makes his way to the bathroom, he thinks of the horrific things that could've happened, of how cruel humanity is. He thinks about how you have to be the only truly good person in all of Faerûn. He'll never get all the blood off his face, not while you're asleep. His mirror, his sun, his everything, and you were almost tainted the very same way he was.

When you wake up the next morning, Astarion isn't in bed. You try to reach out groggily, looking for that embrace, only to be left with cold sheets. Thinking back on the night before, the memories start to filter in. The drinks, the half-elf, the stabbing, and Astarion sobbing. The full picture isn't entirely there, but there's enough pieces for you to realize. That man, he found you drunk in the tavern, and tried to take advantage of you.

You stumble out of bed, walking down the stairs, rubbing your eyes.

Astarion is in the kitchen, drinking some tea, his eyes bloodshot. You don't say anything, slowly walking up to him, wrapping your arms around his waist, holding him tight. He puts his tea down and rests his head on yours.

"Are you alright my love?"

"I'm fine. Are you alright?"

You make some space again, looking up at him, holding his hands in yours. They start to shake again, rage and misery. You move a piece of hair out of his face.

"He didn't do anything to me love, I'm okay."

"Just- the thought of- I-"

He tries to hold back the tears again.

"It's okay, you can cry. It's going to be okay."

With that allowance, the permission to let go, he cries again.

"I don't ever want you to feel like that Tav, the way I felt. It's so, disgusting."

"I know, but it's over Aster. It's over now. You're okay, we're okay."

You wrap around him again, and he continues to weep.

"I love you, so much, and they didn't ruin you, I promise."

That worry, that he'll never be the same, that he's forever fractured now, that a piece of him is gone. Innocence, what a loaded word. Those who are guilty make the innocent feel guilty, and those who are guilty feel powerful, and the cycle continues, always continuing. You stand in the kitchen for a long time, letting him get all of the pain out, your shirt sleeve wet with his tears.

"I just wish I didn't have to be scared anymore."

You frown, thinking on his statement, knowing that no one is ever truly safe. You'll both live in fear forever, of those that think cruelty is accomplishment.

"I know."

It's all you can say, because you can't lie and tell him there's a day he won't have to be scared, that one day all the monsters of the world will be gone. There's nothing to learn, no moral, no mistake to fix, just pain. Pain caused by those who greed after anguish.

"Do you think I've changed? Or am I just as I was, a scared, beaten slave?"

"Gods Astarion, of course you've changed. It's the world that hasn't. We're better than them though, even if that's all we have."

Neither of you reach any resolution, nothing that makes you feel better. Instead, you sit on the sofa by the fire, watching the wood go up in flames, softly speaking about the suffering. You lie in each other's arms, sad. Misery loves company, and the two of you sit in that aura of grieving for a long time, grieving his past, grieving what could have been a kinder world. But here, in this sacred space, where feelings are free to run wild, where you can cry as much as you need, that's the only place you're truly safe. And that's alright, as long as it's together.

[justporo]

A Love Letter

"Quite contrary to what you might believe, I have never written a love letter. Quick notes with sweet innocents on them or naughty promises, surely, loads of those. But not like this, never."

When Astarion hears that you never in your life have a received a love letter he takes it upon himself to change that.

MASTERLIST | AO3

Author's Note: It's been a while hasn't it? I hope to get back into the saddle with writing after I took a bit of a break. And what better thing to come back with than a very cheesy, self-indulgent thing? I hope you enjoy, let me know what you think!

Pairing: Astarion/named Tav (Fox/You) Warnings: light mention of past trauma Wordcount: 2,7k

You had never really been very much into these romantic things. You didn’t have the time for that pretty nonsense. Or maybe it was that you just never had gotten to experience it. And so you made yourself believe that.

So when you mentioned to Astarion that you never once in your life had received a love letter and was imagining how it might be, the vampire felt he had to do something about it. He wasn’t very much into these things either; things that felt just performative.

But after all, he knew with you this wasn’t the case - at all.

So one night, a while after you had mentioned this, and Astarion was out to run errands you found an envelope on the table in your kitchen - and next to it a singular deep red tulip.

On the envelope you saw your name in Astarion’s elegant handwriting written in gold ink - with a few wholly unnecessary but beautiful extra swirls around it.

With a fiendish smile on your lips you opened the letter and were surprised by several pages falling out of it. All of course written in Astarion’s neat hand. You brushed your hair out of your face, feeling that you needed to look presentable for this.

The letter read:

“My darling Fox,

Quite contrary to what you might believe, I have never written a love letter. Quick notes with sweet innocents on them or naughty promises, surely, loads of those. But not like this, never.

This is different, you are different! And you being different means I am now sitting here while you’ve gone to bed already ages ago by dim candle light with several pages of parchment because I know - I know - I will need them to even just scratch the surface. But right now, to be perfectly honest with you, I am a little lost for words as I sit here with a goblet of wine. I’m trying to warm up to this idea of me actually trying to lay bare what I usually don’t share with anyone. Not even with you.

Not because I don’t want to. But because I struggle with letting someone in. But you were so patient with me thus far. I hope you’ll be patient with me for this as well. This is my third attempt to write something that feels right. Something that feels true and not make-believe…

But bear with me as I am working to get the hang of this. Can’t really call myself a consummate lover if I don’t get this one down, can I?

Let’s start over, shall we?

I could tell you about every single little detail I adore about you: like the way your pretty silver eyes light up when you grin at me. Every single freckle you have, which I am sure I know by heart by now - every single one. Or how your smile is so beautiful that it makes even my undead and rotten heart flutter in my chest. How you get these delightful full body blushes when I pull you into my arms, still, no matter how long we’ve been together. How wonderfully sharp your tongue is and how witty you are, my little minx. How you curse worse than a sailor and drink at least as much as one, my little swashbuckling rebel. How you do everything to not be treated by a lady but then swoon when I try it on you anyways.

Or I could tell you how much I adore your kindness. How you worry so deeply about your friends and how loyal you are.

Or how I might roll my eyes every time you stop in the streets to pet one of the stray cats but actually love how you care even for the tiniest and most ragged critters, showering them with your honest affection.

Because isn’t that just like what you’ve done with me?

You looked at me - hells, I held a knife to your delicate neck! - and despite all odds you decided: you liked that one. Despite all the pain, all the suffering, all the trauma, all the patience you needed and all the good will. I couldn’t get rid of you - thankfully.

You kept me, you cared for me. And when I was unable to let you in, you let me in first, taking a leap of faith.

I could see it in your eyes first.

Your beautiful silver eyes and how they always betray just what you think and feel. Maybe not to everyone, but to me. Trust me, I’ve spent quite some time looking at them.

And at some point I looked at you. Your eyes were just so open and I just knew.

You saved me, Fox.

I know I told you before. But I need you to understand that I wouldn’t be here with you if I was without you. You stayed with me through all of this, you helped me every step of the way without really expecting anything in return.

And now I am more than just “still here”, more than just a hollow husk, void of life: I am free - and with you I am even whole.

You radiate so much joy and love and life. You care. Despite your own beatings and betrayals in life, you've never given up on believing that better days are ahead. Not even for a moment.

My stubborn little thing, who couldn't love you when you come barging into people's lives like this. You have your way of just grabbing people by the hand and pulling them with you, saying yes to the good things that happen and fuck off to the bad ones.

And you were right. Better days were, for once, just around the corner.

I feel violently alive when I'm with you.

And it's scary and even hurts sometimes. But it is so incredibly beautiful, joyous and breathtaking that I won't have it any other way.

It's like you pulled me right from that grave into your loving arms. And to my own surprise your embrace and how my name sounds on your lips weighs so much heavier than what has come before.

You haven’t given up on me. For some reason beyond my own comprehension you see something in me. Maybe some day you’ll help me understand too.”

You took a moment to let the words settle with you, your fingertips running over the neat cursive letters. It wasn’t lost on you that there were some specks on the bottom of the page. Like drops had fallen on it. Some had blurred the ink of the final words at the bottom where the handwriting, you realised, had gotten just a tiny bit shaky.

Tears were burning dangerously in your eyes, a knot forming in your throat as your eyes wandered back over the words, not daring yet to move on. And when a teardrop fell from your cheeks onto the paper, mixing in with the others already there you couldn’t help the small laugh escaping you. Knowing exactly the way the writer must have felt bringing these words down onto the parchment.

Then you read on.

“Enough of this sentimental nonsense now, let us move on to more important matters.”

You laughed out loud reading this as the first sentence on the next page. The handwriting as elegant as ever again. And you could quite clearly imagine how the vampire must’ve brushed away his “nonsensical” tears with a pout to regain his composure before he began writing again.

You kept on reading.

“You must’ve realised by now that I am quite a selfish man. I have absolutely no intention of letting you go, my love.

When I told you that you were the first person who I truly cared for, I meant it.

For as long as you will have me by your side and for as long as my immortal life, you will not get rid of me. I hope you thought this rightfully through when you said you wanted to be with me.

For as long as you want me to, I will do everything in my power to keep you as happy and healthy as you are now.

Your light shines so bright, my darling Fox, I don’t ever want to see it dimmed. I always want to see you smile as brightly, laugh as loudly and be as carefree as you are right now.

I want to keep holding you in my arms as you drift off to your dreams with your breaths getting softer and deeper before their soft rhythm lulls me to rest also. And then feel you wake up again in my embrace.

Do you know how incredibly beautiful you are in these moments?

I am not a poet, nor will I ever be one, gods forbid, so I can barely do it justice. But I will try nonetheless.

You are so beautiful and delicate in my arms, completely bare before me, not an inch between us with your limbs all wrapped around me, your hair all messed up. I can feel your comforting warmth. And then this first big breath of you waking up. You always bury your face in my chest as if you’re trying to resist the world of the awake claiming you again. And your arms wrap around me a little tighter while you groan about your fate of having to be awake again. And then you lift your head and blink slowly at me with these beautiful eyes of yours, still sleepy, and red hair all over your face. And your smile grows. You tell me good morning and that you love me with your voice still raspy from sleep and kiss me with your smile growing even broader.

You are everything for me in those moments. Because it feels like every single day you choose to love me again. Aren’t I quite lucky?

 And it’s a gift, every day anew.

And I love you too, Fox, oh how I love you. In those moments and all the others.

I will do everything so I can hold onto these moments with you and create a million more.

Because even though I might have lost the sun, I gained a new source of light. Your warmth makes me want to live again. For you - and for me.”

And then the final lines of the letter were written with a bit more space - and visibly more vigour. The letters tall and proud:

“I love you, Fox, from this moment to the next and for all that are to come.

I love you and I will keep loving you for as long as I live.

I love you.

Forever yours, Astarion”

There weren’t just single tears running over your cheeks and then rolling off your face by the time you finished reading. One hand was clenching the parchment sheets while you simultaneously tried not to ruin them. Your other hand was covering your mouth as you couldn’t stop yourself from sobbing.

You had sat down on the bench sometime while reading without even realising it. Now you were thankful for the support while emotions washed over and through you: overflowing love, bittersweet joy and aching yearning - among others.

Surely, when you had told Astarion that you had never received a love letter you didn’t think he would come up with something like this.

Maybe some cheesy little thing where he got to repurpose all of his favourite stupid lines, but not something like this. Not something so heartfelt and true. Not something that, despite his claims, was showing just how much he was letting you in.

You read the whole letter again.

And then a third time. And a fourth.

All the while your tears didn’t stop. They got worse even, to the point where you had to put the sheets down and cover your eyes while sobs shook your body.

Your chest felt like it was slowly coming apart as you felt it swell to the brim with love for your vampire.

That was the moment Astarion found you: still sitting at the wooden table in the kitchen, crying and sobbing and still clutching the letter in your hands, unwilling to let go. He halted a moment in the doorway.

“Was it that terrible, darling?” Astarion teased as he then entered the room. You hadn’t even noticed him before, too preoccupied with how the words of his confession swam before your eyes.

“I think I did quite a good job,” the vampire continued as he slowly sauntered over to you, hands crossed behind his back. With a huge sniffle you lifted your gaze to meet the writer’s eyes.

“I mean considering that I’ve never done this before,” Astarion finished as he took one last step up to you and immediately sank into a crouch beside you. Long, pale fingers reached out to tug one of several stray strands of hair back behind one of your pointy ears.

Your eyes were on Astarion and through your still welling tears you saw the cautious smile dance around his lips. His tone had been joking, his fingers softly brushing tears out of the corner of your eye lovingly. But his hesitation wasn’t lost on you.

So you took the only measure you deemed adequate to assure him that he had done a marvellous job. And since you could barely put into words how deeply his honest, loving words had moved you, you resorted to show rather than tell.

You threw yourself into Astarion’s arms, making him almost topple over in his crouched position. But the vampire kept his balance as you wrapped your arms around him as tightly as you ever had.

Neither of you cared when more tears spilled onto him and you while more sobs shook through you. “I love you,” you pressed out in between sobs and sniffles. “I love you, Astarion,” you repeated.

And again and again until the words made no sense anymore.

Astarion just held you, burying his face in your hair. And you could have sworn you must’ve felt a tear or two wet your already messed up hair that hadn’t been yours.

The two of you stayed in this tangled and messy embrace, both on your knees, for a long while. Your vampire softly swayed you while your sobs slowly subsided and the tears only remained as softly prickling traces on your face.

That kind of blissful exhaustion that only overcomes you after a long and hearty cry threatened to take you over when you had lost all sense of time in your lover’s arms. So you ripped your face from where it had been buried at Astarion’s neck before you became too tired.

With one hand you rubbed sloppily over your eyes and then your nose. And even without looking you knew Astarion’s nose would scrunch up in disgust. The thought almost immediately made you laugh. But when you looked at him again, finally free of blurring tears, you were merely met with a smirk and a soft mocking glint in his eyes, sparking at you from beneath Astarion’s brows.

“I can’t believe out of all moments you could have picked, you chose to call me beautiful with bedhair, you idiot” you blurted out and swatted the vampire’s arms before you immediately broke out with hysterical laughter.

The vampire immediately hissed at you in response. Then he cleared his throat and put on an air of seriousness when you looked up at him again: “But you are, my love. Even with your face covered in tears and snot you are still quite, eh…” He gesticulated dramatically towards you and his nose scrunched up again as he teased you. It only earned him another hit from you. He hissed at you again, letting go of you to rub the spot you had just hit.

“You punch quite hard, you know that?” he barked at you, his tone slightly offended. And you only laughed more.

“Maybe you should have added that to the letter,” you teased back and stuck out your tongue at him.

“You insolent, ungrateful wretch,” Astarion hurled at you while his smirk returned.

“You pretentious, stupid prick,” you gave back.

Then you leaned in, cupped Astarion’s face and kissed him. He met you with a content hum.

“I love you, Astarion,” you whispered as you broke away and pressed your forehead to his.

His eyes glittered and his smile was so broad it made the vampire’s face ache: “Love you too, my sweet little Fox.”

~~~

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[thenightfolknetwork]

Hello. I'm, um, not entirely sure how to talk about this. I hope it's okay if I misspeak. I'm a human, right, so I think that needs to be clear more than anything, but I've been very involved in the creature community for years now. I live by a great big lake and I always liked to walk down the shore late at night or early in the morning, you know, just to try and get out of my own head, and one night ages ago I accidentally tripped over someone's jacket and twisted my ankle. It was a gorgeous fur jacket, too, not like any kind of fur I'd seen in a jacket before, but just stunningly soft and thick as Hell.

Now, of course I didn't take it, that'd be awful, but also I had just hurt myself in kind of a nasty way and so it wasn't like I had anything else to do but sit by the shore next to the jacket and waited, and yeah, a few hours later one of the lake seals popped its head out of the water, looked at me for a good long while, and then...well, I mean, you know how the rest of the story goes, I'm sure.

Anyway, it's been a few years now and I've become really close to this family. I didn't really know anyone in my town before meeting them and I'm not on speaking terms with my own folks, so in a lot of ways these people have become my family, and it's an honor that they trust me to keep guard of their cloaks and such when they go out. But I've got this problem, right, and it's just...over the years it's felt less and less like I fit in with other humans. All my friends are nightfolk now, my family hates me even more because they're bigots--in this night and age, can you fucking believe it--and it's just like every night I get further and further away from the shore.

I'm just scared because...I don't *want* to stop drifting away. I've had dreams of joining them down there in the lake, practically every night for months on end. I've tried doing research into methods of joining the community but I don't want to become a vampire, I don't fancy any lunar-aligned nonsense, nothing has felt right except selkies, but I can't decide if I'm just self aware enough that I need a push from an outside viewer to try and accept something I already know full well...or if no, actually, that little voice in my stupid head that won't go away that keeps calling me a fraud, an invader, an appropriator--what if the reason it's not going away is because it's right and I really don't belong?

Just...please be honest with me. Am I a complete asshole for spending hours every day trying not to just outright beg my family--sorry, chosen family--to help me sew myself a cloak, or is there something to this?

First of all, reader, please rest assured. As long as you are speaking from a place of kindness and a willingness to learn, you don't need to worry about using all the correct terminology. I always try to listen generously when people come to me in need, and I encourage our followers to do the same.

Unfortunately I can well believe that bigots like your biological relatives still exist. I'm glad you've been able to extract yourself from their hateful society, and have found comfort, support and kinship among the nightfolk.

You say there is a little voice in your head calling you a fraud, casting doubt on the validity of your feelings. As much as you might want to push it away and stop your ears, I want you to listen to that voice, just for a little while. Pay attention to the language it uses and what ideas it seems to have about the world.

And then ask yourself: is this my voice? Does that sound like me? Or does this sound like a last, desperate, wriggling remnant of the people I've worked so hard to distance myself from?

Every one of us is raised with a narrative, a story about the world and our place in it, and how we should treat the people around us. We're told that story by our parents, by our teachers and schoolmates, by television and books and a million other sources. The story is so vast and so all-encompassing, it takes an enormous effort to be able to see any single part of it clearly.

Imagine, then, how hard we have to work to realise some of that story is untrue, or harmful, fed by hatred and fear. To start untangling ourselves from the rotting, strangling roots of the story we've known all our lives, and start planting something new and fresh and honest.

It sounds to me like this little voice is one of those lingering strands of the story you were raised with – one where liminality is nothing to admire or strive for, and where you cannot be trusted to know your own mind, and your own needs. It's time to tell yourself a better story.

You've found people who honour you with their trust and who make you feel supported and loved, as you deserve. You admire them, and want to be like them. None of this sounds “stupid” to me.

This is not a decision to be taken lightly. By all means, take your time, and talk your feelings through with your family. But I think you already know what story you want for yourself, reader – and for what it's worth, I think the world will be better for its telling.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[soft-persephone]

I Will Be Your End pt. 1

Vampire!Fontaine x Vampire!Black!Reader x Vampire!Abel Morales // John Boyega x Black!Reader x Oscar Isaac

Explicit // WC: 9.5k // warnings: blood, descriptions of corpses, mild body mutilation, death, violence, mild abuse, horror, smut // masterlist // Part 2 //

music: Good People / by Majid Jordan

AN: Biggest shoutout to @megamindsecretlair her Vampire Tyrone fics have required my brain chemistry and changed my life! She is the biggest inspiration behind this fic so if you even slightly enjoy this one, go check out theirs! It’s truly beautiful!

Apparently it’s too long to make into one fic, so I will wait until next week to post pt2

I hope you enjoy!!

-

Where the fuck she at?”

Fontaine threw a chair and Yo-yo ducked, it smattered into pieces upon impact. Not satisfied, he flipped the coffee table and attempted to kick a hole in the couch, but she stopped that shit quick.

“Taine, Nock it the fuck off! I know you mad and all, but we still live here, and we ain’t got nowhere else to go!”

His breaths were rabid and heavy. His eyes glowing hard.

“Where. The fuck. Is. She?” He huffed.

Yo-yo licked her lips.

“It’s bad, real bad. You need to get to her fast,” he opened his mouth, probably to ask her the same fucking question again, but she stopped him with a raised hand, daring him to say something, “I tracked her like you told me, but she’s smart.. real smart.”

“That ain’t nothing we don’t already know. Yo-—“

“—interrupt me one more time.”

He sighed, shaking his head before sitting.

Good, God… finally.

“So boom!” She smacked her fist unity the palm of her other hand. “She only stops to feed in small towns, usually a racist or someone who tried to put his hands on her or other woman, all untraceable to the cops n’ shit.”

His face goes blank. The attitude he once had gone. She cohdi feel the power radiating off of him in waves.

He’s putting the pieces together.

“She’s in New York.” Her lips formed into a line, waiting for his response.

“How many body’s?”

“It’s more than 50.”

Fuck.

Tyrone knew she’d be pissed with him for the first few years, but not like this.

He didn’t think she’d actually run away from him.

He looked at the antique book he brought you.

What is was about, he didn’t have fucking clue. This was a book published before summaries on the back were a thing. It was so old it barely had a title.

You loved reading, like Yo-yo, and history and shit.

It was the perfect gift.

But now.. he might not even get the chance to give it to you.

“Call Slick.”

-

“Are you alright little one?” A voice from somewhere asked you.

It was so rich. He kept talking and talking.

You hummed.

He should talk more.

You could barely feel the blood covering your body. The fresh dark flood of it was dripping from your mouth. Falling down a similar path as the last stickier dried up drops.

You looked up and saw his glowing eyes.

They were golden, but not like the harsh metallic gold that matched Fintaine’s grills. They were an old gold like the moon. An old golden hued moon that connected every ancient moment to the present. Witnessing the tragedy that had befallen what used to be her life that had now become the eternal damnation she didn’t deserve…. That she didn’t ask for.

You might hate Fontaine and what he did to you, but you weren’t stupid.

Vampires don’t pop up out of nowhere and for no reason.

Fear clings to you, but you fight it back down your throat, swallowing it before licking your lips.

“I’m.. I'm sorry,” you started. Your voice sounded foreign to you. It was hoarse, croaky, and broken, “I don’t know all the rules to everything. I won’t make any trouble.” Your heart sank, “I just needed to rest for a moment. I can le—“

“Nonsense.” He doesn’t raise his voice or yell. It was just as rich and calm as the first time you heard it. You lick your lips once more. “What makes you think I want you to leave?”

His mouth wasn’t moving…

“Maybe I saw someone in distress and wanted to help.” He was smiling now. It was poised and polite.

If you didn’t know any better, right now felt like meeting a person on any other day. Like taking a stroll on a random day, in the daylight. Just like you used to.

You’d be walking towards campus for class only to bump into a handsome mysterious stranger, he’d be nice and help you up. Insisting he won’t leave until he knows you're alright. He takes you to lunch.

Leading you to no longer care how late you would be to class, just wishing the day won’t end, so your new found stranger wouldn’t leave you.

Were you in distress?

You won’t play the fool and deny it. But you didn’t like the sound of it either. You didn’t know this stranger. Only his voice in your head and his old eyes.

What do you do now?

Barely blinking, he was closer to you.

You registered the fact that you were sitting on the ground. Your legs curled up, bending at the knee and strown casually to your side. A body strown on the opposite side of you. Brutally mutilated beyond recognition, his chest split in the center, his flesh and guts spilling out like a wild animal taken down by a predator.

He kneeled behind you, holding your back to his chest with one hand as he caressed your cheek with the other.

“Did you do this?” He asked aloud, the breath of his voice falling softly on your forehead, tickling gently at your eyelashes.

His eyes were even prettier up close.

He was prettier than Fontaine.

You cursed whatever foreign power within you that led you to think of him, even now.

“No….” You answered, your voice still hoarse, “It was a werewolf.”

He pulled you tighter against him. Firmly, but gently holding your head to the side by a handful of your hair.

His mouth danced softly on the skin of your jaw to your neck. Worshiping the area with such devotion, it felt sinful. It felt wrong. It felt worse than the curse of being a monster forever.

His teeth sank into your flesh, filling you with as much bliss as he was taking, he wanted to be full of nothing but you. He wanted to consume you.

“Who do you belong to?” You heard his warm amber voice in your head.

“No one.” You silently answered back.

—

It’s been weeks, Slick.”

“I said I wasn’t no miracle worker,” Charles huffed. “I said, I’d see what I could do and as we seeing, it ain’t a whole lot.”

“Fontaine kicked his chair behind him as he stood up and Yo-yo stepped between him.

“Uh-uh, none of that! You remember what happened last time you killed a witch?” She hissed. “Your not putting me through that again, Nigga! I won’t let you!”

Fontaine smacked his teeth before turning around towards the window.

“You sure you can’t feel her?” He placed his hand under his shirt one more time before reaching out into the bond. He didn’t need to touch his chest in any way when reaching out to feel you in the bond that made you all a clan. It was more to calm himself down.

“Nothing.” Yo-yo sighed.

He had everyone in their clan reaching out in the bond daily to feel you, for someone to be able to either feel your emotions, dream about you, or see visions on where you were or what you might be doing.

And it was all failing.

Your connection was growing weaker to everyone everyday.

The only thing your bond was putting out was an insane amount of power. It could knock out weaker members into walls or send them flying if they touched it. For someone of your status, it shouldn’t be possible.

The only times vampires tell stories of fledglings growing insanely strong in a short amount of time was before they tried to overthrow clans from their masters, usurping the line before executing them in front of everyone.

What Fontaine did after he was turned…

“At least she stopped feeding everyday all the time.”

“But she’s been learning things.”

Fontaine’s eyebrows rose together in confusion.

“What you mean? How can you tell?”

“I don’t know.. I just can.” She shook her head with a heavy emotion everyone in the clan was starting to feel. “Something’s different about her. I felt this new person in the clan and I know you haven’t turned anyone since her.”

“She’s in the middle!” Slick slammed his hand on the table. “That’s why I say give me all the details! Every single time!” He shook his head. “ there wouldn’t been no need, to pull out my whole crystal ball and shit!”

“Will you quit whining!” Fontaine huffed, “and can someone tell me what the fuck is going on?”

“Yo-yo said she feels a new energy in the bond she can’t explain.” Slick fiddled with the hem of his sleeves, “that means she’s found someone else to pledge allegiance to.”

The air went cold.

Fontaine usually has a better grip on his influence and how it can affect the air around him, but when he was upset it came off fast and hard, filling up the room with fear and trepidation that only made it worse.

“No.” He shook his head. “That’s not it.”

“Fontaine, calm down. No one’s saying she betrayed you. We’re just weighing all the possibilities th—“

“I said, no.”

The intonation of his voice changed to something dark and layered with a power that made Yo-yo and slick unwilling still and stop talking.

“She would never.” Fontaine punched the wall.

“She would never drink another vampire's blood.”

—

Abel, cupped water into his hands and poured it over your shoulders, letting it cascade down your chest and your back. The water was scalding, but his hands were warmer.

His hands were gliding over your skin as if he were attempting to create you himself, or he was worshiping the expanse of your skin. Comiting every curve, bump, stretch mark, and stray mole into his memory. Basking at the feel of you and cherishing each millisecond in fear he wouldn't get another chance.

“What.. happened to me?” You asked, “every moment before now feels like a hazy fever or dream I can barely remember.”

“Bloodlust.”

“Bloodlust? I went on some crazy murder spree?!”

“No,” he smiled at your shock and you somewhat relaxed. Still not liking what had become of view, “you drank quite a large amount of blood in a short amount of time, and instinctively once you're in that state your body will only crave more and more in want of being more powerful.”

“I don’t wish to be more powerful. I don’t wish to be anything.”

Abel frowned at you, but ignored your statement.

You were a little disappointed, but you understood.

You didn’t have any friends to confide in anymore, no one to share your experience of existence with. You had no connection with anything anymore, human or creature, nothing else made you feel like more of a monster than that.

“How do you feel?”

“Better, I suppose.”

“No,” he tsked at you, “how do you feel?” His eyes flashed down at you, and you felt his energy quickly fill the room washing over you in a cocoon of warmth, rivaling the bath water.

You sighed.

There’s nothing more you hated then actively practicing and learning about what you now were.

At least, that’s how it was with Fontaine.

You reached deep within yourself. At your spirit or aura.. perhaps something deep within your mind until you felt this new magical essence that now lived within you.

It was bigger, louder.. but it still bore no color.

“I think I’m stronger in some way, but I still don’t know what color I’m supposed to see.”

“You are,” he gently grasped at your sides and lifted you up out of the water, immediately ushering you into a towel, “much stronger that is.” He patted your skin dry , before grabbing a glass jar with oil in it.

“Smell.” He lifted it to your nose.

“Hmmm.” It was a warm boozy vanilla with a hint of something spicy. “I like it.”

“Me too.”

The silence was comforting as you let him cover you with the oil and knead it into your skin.

You can’t remember the last time you had felt so at ease.

He gave you a white sweater that had to be one of his and wrapped you in a blanket as you laid on your side next to him.

He kept his hands to himself and you hated it.

You longed to curl up closer into him and let him absentmindedly play with the locs of your hair. Much longer now that they’ve grown since you’ve died. With plenty of time spent avoiding Fontaine in isolation from him and his goonies, you learned to retwist them yourself.

“How were you turned?” He looked at you with such somber eyes. They were brown just as Fontaine’s but they were much much warmer. Soft things they were, almost wet.

Was she such a sad site? Did he pity her that much?

Was she something to be pitied?

“I’m not sure. I woke up like this one morning in a random bed away from my home and my family.”

His face scrunched together, not just in confusion but sadness.

“No,” he paused, searching for the right words.”Did you consent?”

“What?” You were offended.

Who would ask for this? Only a psychopath would ask for something like this.

“No!” You both winced at how harsh you sounded.

“I did.” He gazed into the distance, looking more somber.

“Why?” You hope you didn’t sound as in disbelief and rude as you felt.

“My… my wife was turned by some random vampire, and once she finally put the pieces together and figured out what happened to her and by whom, she told me, and I asked her to turn me.”

“Oh.”

“Once she did,” he glared at the wall, …

“I had a vision. A plan for our future. . . our family,” he quickly smiled before his face fell into something dark you couldn’t describe. “Generational wealth.” He turned to you with an indescribably smile. His teeth flashed, charmingly so, but his eyes were something else that did not match, “but this. I couldn’t even imagine anything like this getting in my way. Our way.”

“What happened to her?”

“She.. passed.” He lifted his hand to brush your cheek. “She wanted to, and I didn’t hold it against her. We’d been alive for so long.”

“Why didn’t you. . . pass with her?”

“You ask so many questions.”

Had you been alive you swore your face would have burned.

You averted your gaze and focused on his hand on your face.

“Don’t be embarrassed. It’s endearing,” he pulled you closer, nestling his head on top of yours. You now felt embarrassed for an entirely different reason. “It makes you seem so.. human.”

You sobbed.

“I didn’t ask for this. Any of it.”

“I know,” he placed his hand on the back of your head, suffocating you against his chest and you welcomed it. “I know.”

You will yourself to stop crying. You were done crying.

“I’m sorry this happened to you. When someone is turned it must be with consent. It’s a relationship built on trust. Without it, the bond between master and fledgling is painful for everyone involved

“I have no master!” You argued. “Fontaine.. doesn’t do that.”

“Then how does it work between him and everyone he’s turned.”

You sighed.

“I.. don’t really know. He and everyone in town was somehow turned by this old vampire and he compelled everyone to forget it and to be his slaves or test puppets or something,” you squeezed Abel’s back, holding him closer to you, burying your face drier into his chest, “Fontaine killed him even though he was begged not to, and somehow, they All lived and he was the new leader.”

Abel froze and you looked up at him.

“Is that bad?”

“N.. no.” He pursed his lips. “It’s just unheard of, impossible even.”

He pulled back from you for just a second, looking into your eyes. He moved his hand from your back to the temple of your forehead.

He was looking into your mind.

Fontaine used to try it all the time and you always forced him out somehow.

When he was done he held you even tighter than before. Staying silent.

You thought perhaps he was done talking and just wanted to spend time tucked against you, deciding to sleep and talk about the rest of it in the morning, but you felt his tears fall into your hairline.

You forgot just how horrific what happened to you was. You didn’t always hate him, but now you do. Not just him, but how you used to feel about him.

You’ll never forget that night, and you’ll never forgive him for what he did to you.

Another person, well, vampire, had experienced the story of how you came to die, and they wept just like you did.

You pushed your feelings deep down into the colorless energy within as you’ve always done, and you willed yourself to sleep, wishing for the chance to make Fontaine hurt as you now did.

“Uhoh, someone’s getting a little too turnt!”

“Leave me alone!” You laughed at your friend. “Finals are over, and I can now let loose!”

You might take school a little too seriously, but you came from a home where education was what saved your parents from poverty and they passed that same lesson on to you.

It might be strict to some, but as you grew older you only grew to believe it just as much as your parents.

You wouldn’t have anything if this school shit didn’t work.

You weren’t raised to hustle, you were raised to study, so that’s what you did.

But now it was time to party!

You didn’t always go out with your friends, so the nights you did, were always special. Your favorite food and drinks were always there when you were, and all your favorite people.

Usually you were really shy and reserved, but one or two drinks and the edge is off! You can let loose and maybe even dance. Who cares what anyone else thinks? You're having fun with the people you love and the people that love you!

You're making memories and forming your circle. You dreamed of the big fancy job you’d get one day to finally be able to take care of yourself and live in your own place!

“Uhhh.” Your friend called your name with a badly contained smile.

“Yeah?” You smiled back.

She smirked and then threw her arms around you with a laugh.

“Omg, what is it? Just spit it out already,” you laughed back.

“What would you say, if I told you there’s a guy here with a crush on you?” You blinked.

A crush? On you?

You believed you were pretty. You weren’t that insecure in yourself, people just tend to make it very clear that you aren’t their type.

But this was new!

Your stomach fluttered at the possibility.

“I don’t know!” You laughed again. “But whatever happens, happens!”

Your friend squeaked again and wrapped her arms around you once more.

She was so drunk. You smiled.

“Do you mind if I sit?”

You looked up to see cool dark skin, and a yellow gold smirk of a smile looking down at you.

“No, it’s okay.” You politely smiled back.

He was everything.

He liked that you listened. That you didn’t judge him off his looks.You like that he didn’t assume you were stuck up just because of how shy and introverted you could be.

Conversation was easy. Blissfully easy.

You both probably talked about anything and everything. The big personal life stuff to every miniscule thought and hobby.

He’d never seen Star Wars before.

You are a basic gym person at best.

Some music you both liked, some music he liked you never heard of and vice versa.

“How come you're not scared?”

“Scared of what?” You almost wanted to laugh but you held it in. You weren’t sure how he’d react if you did.

“Of me, or like,” he smacked his teeth, “you don’t act weird and stuff when I talk about what trips me up as a drug dealer or get that silent judgy look. People think that by not saying anything they're being polite, but they don’t know it shows on their face.”

“I don’t judge people based on their life or choices. Just by what’s on the inside. Not everyone has the same chances or choices. We’re all just trying to make it. No matter where we start in life, it’s all toward the same thing.” You stopped and pondered for a bit, searching for the right words. “It’s the government and shit they’ve gotten away with they have us all over the place. Until we can change the system or something like that. . . and yeah.” You ended dumbly.

“Yeah?” Fontaine was practically cackling at you. He laughed loudly. The sound coming from his belly, his low baritone sounds of joy flooded your senses. His yellow gold grillz shining in the low light of the room.

“Just, yeah.”

“Well excuse me for not being able to break down capitalism and its effects on the wealth gap and disparity in America and how it relates to race in one sentence. I've done it enough in school. Which is over now, and I'm tryna take a break from it all.”

You’d never felt so seen, so understood. You could see yourself in him, and he saw himself in you. You both had completely different lives, you had different ideas for almost everything except where it counts. Aside from the basic black experience and the trauma associated with that, or little quirks and social similarities they’ve grown fond of as a collective. There was something more.

A genuineness. A mirroring of the part of yourself that you couldn’t put into words. Tyrone was your person.

That’s why it was so easy to let him take you upstairs. To let his hands roam across the expense of your skin. His mouth was so warm. He lathes at your neck. Dragging his mouth down towards your chest. He sucks hard at your breast until your panting and writhing. He moves towards the next one, doing the same.

You can’t tell where your body ends or his mouth begins.

“You like that?” He looked down at you with half a pearly white smirk. When did he take his grills off? You didn’t know.

He was so calming. He crashed into you like a wave. When you first met on that couch you could feel him pulling you in towards him. The waters of his soul were cool and tranquil, and you’d happily float in the body of it all night. Now as things grew more intense as he mouthed at you, and you clutched at him just as desperately.

“Fontaine.” You moaned his name like a prayer.

He responded with a similar prayer of your name on his lips.

You were drowning in him. The wave of his entire being crashed against you, suffocating you as it flooded over and over your head until you were so far gone underneath the very waters of his essence, of him, you couldn’t breath.

“Who knew such a fat pussy could be so tight?” He lapped and lathed at your skin.

The slow growing ache within you was getting stronger and stronger. Your own desire was eating you alive, burning and festering within you. It was too much. Everything felt so good it hurt, so when he decided to bite down into your flesh, everything within you seized. Tightening in response, screaming for more.

“You like that,” he praised slowly into your neck, “i’an know you was like that.”

He pushed your legs up by your thighs. His hand sliding along your skin as if he was remolding you, reshaping you in his image before he destroys you with the very hands he pulled you out of the dirt with.

You whined, tears brimming in your eyes, but you couldn’t feel them. Fontain didn’t acknowledge them.

You wanted him to feel good. That’s all you wanted. You wanted to make him feel good so he didn’t leave you.

“—wanna be yours.” You mewled as he sucked harder at your neck once more until you made that sound again. He did it over and over again until you whined and panted for more, and he responded with another bite, much harder this time. His mouth staying on your skin much longer.

Waves and waves of pleasure flooded your senses. You arched your back to chase the feeling of his motuh, pressing yourself into him.

He released you with a wet slurp.

“You’on needa worry ‘bout that.” He pressed his dick against you, letting the head bump against your clit as he slid it along your folds. With each lazy movement your hips chased the feeling of his.

Fontaine responded by pulling his hips back, letting you feel every thick inch as he slowly pulled back until only the tip was inside of you before thrusting back into you. He set a slow enduring pace. Each heavy thrust of his hips caused a moan to fall from your lips.

He was branding you. With every thrust of his body into yours, with his hands on your body, with his mouth biting into your flesh. The sounds of his mouth on you matched the wet sounds of his slips slamming into yours.

He wasn’t just consuming you, burning you, he was molding you. Reshaping you not only into a new being but combining your souls. Molting them into one another, you didn’t know where he began and you ended, and you wanted more. No, you needed more. You needed him. You wanted to live for him. Exist only for him.

So you chased every feeling of his body, matching each and every movement of his hips, arched your back further to get that much closer.

It was a night you never forgot. A night you couldn’t forget. Each moment of bliss was now remembered with a matching thought of pain. With every new height of pleasure you didn’t know was humanly possible was now replaced with the thought that every single peak you reached was one step away from your life, your family, and what you used to be at your very core.

A robbery of your humanity.

But you didn’t know that when you woke up in a bed that wasn’t yours. Your phone nowhere to be found.

You were scared and alone.

But you remembered your night with Fontaine.

He took you away from everything, and you didn’t even get the chance to confront him about it while you threw up day and night. While you tossed and turned every waking moment with a headache that wouldn’t go away. While your stomach started to gnaw at your flesh from the inside out caving in on itself. You were hot and cold at the same time and always sweating. Everything started to blur and the sun hurt.

It didn’t help that the room was full of windows.

You had to resort to burying yourself in a hoard of blankets.

But when the moon rose high, you took your chance.

In your feeble weak state, you managed to travel around the foreign town you learned was called the Glenn. Hundred and thousands of miles away from your home.

You managed to find someone nice enough to talk to you.

“You a’right? You need to sit down? You wanta glass a’ water?”

“Please.” Your voice was horse and meak. You didn’t want to be so trusting of all these people you didn’t know, but they had to be better than Fontain or whoever the fuck he was.

You cleared your throat.

“Can I borrow your phone?”

You looked at the date, it could not be right. A chill ran down your spine and filled your entire body.

It’s been 10 years.

You couldn’t have been asleep for ten years! Were you somehow drugged out of your mind? Is that how? What has that sick fuck been doing to your body while you’ve been out of conscience for ten fucking years.

Fear and bile rose in your body and you threw up.

“Aye what the fuck!” You didn’t see what happened next as black clouded the corners of your vision and the world went dark.

However, you were still there.

And in a bath of darkness you focused on your grief and your anger.

You don’t know what has happened to you, but you do know one thing. Fontaine was going to die by your hands, and that thought of comfort let you slip into your first slumber of peace.

-

Yoyo treaded lightly around the corner. She stood still not to draw attention to herself. She watched as the slick black ornate car pulled up to the side of the restaurant. She watched as a man with heavily styled black hair and tan skin stepped out and handed off his keys. Impeccably dressed with a heavy wool coat too match.

“Shoulda went for a black one. Would have been real fresh too.”

Yo-yo bit the inside of her cheek.

“I mean the taupe beige isn’t that bad of a look. It kinda grows on you the more you look at it. But if he really wanted to ste—“

“Nigga, don’t nobody give a damn about his fucking coat!” She hissed.

Why Fontaine made her bring Slick along, she would never know.

“Slick opened his mouth to say something smart, but Yo-yo quickly cut him off.

“Shut up! There she is!”

They watched as he opened the door to the other side.

You stepped out in a gorgeous silk red number that had a leg slit and a low back. You had a white fur shawl that covered your shoulders. Gold dripping around your neck, ears, and a few of your fingers. There had to be some diamonds sprinkled about somewhere. With that type of money, there had to.

Situation aside, Yo-yo and Slick both let out sounds of approval.

“Shit, if I could get all that, I’d leave Fontaine sorry ass too.” Yo-yo murmured.

“As a man with certain avenues and multitudes, I can not hate another player. If you got it, you got it.”

Slick snapped his fingers, the rings on his hands clacking annoyingly so, and their clothes changed.

“What the fuck am I wearing?”

“What are you complaining for? He smacked his teeth. That’s what you usually wear.”

Yo-yo would have appreciated the little yellow thing she wore anywhere else, but not now.

“You saw what they were wearing! This place is classy! It’s nice as shit and they are not about to let a couple of raggedy asses in looking like this.”

“You see that’s your problem!” He raised a finger and Yo-yo had to interrupt him.

“Nigga, I know you not putting a finger in my face!”

“Will you calm yo’ ass down! All I’m tryna say is,” he dusted off his clothes, letting a harsh breath through his nose, “Fontaine made me come with you for a reason. It don’t matter what we wear, I can get us in.”

“Mhmm, you better.”

“Abel.” You warily said his name.

He guided you through a crowd with a hand tentatively placed on your lower back. Plush and luxurious with low thundering music. People were everywhere. But if you really focused and stilled your mind a bit, you could tell who was a vampire, and there were many, and who was not.

Abel was about to answer you, but a young light skinned man had interrupted the steady pace Abel and you were making through the crowd.

“H-hi.” He said softly and sweetly before cupping your face with a hand. He had to be around your age if you were human, boyish features made it too hard to tell, even if he had a beard. Close shaven and shaped well to match his face. . His eyes were a large bright brown as he battered them shyly at you. He had full lips that looked so soft and his lashes were so long.

“Um, hi?” You blinked, not sure what to do. Too many people were crowded around in their own world to care about what was transpiring between you.

You moved his hand from your cheek, and he took it as a sign to move his face closer to yours. You stiled. Even the slightest of movements would have made your lips touch.

“Can you bite me?” His voice was a sultry pant, almost a whine.

Blood rushed through your senses. You noticed it now.

The smell of it in the room. The humans straying around from vampire to vampire.

Something on your face must have changed. Maybe your eyes flashed because his lips parted just a tad more and his eyes almost rolled back.

You leaned in closer, your lips grazing his neck before you felt Abel’s hand slide from your back to your arm, roughly pulling you back.

“She’s on a diet.” He didn’t yell or raise his voice, but his tone was clear cut and dry with plenty of bite.

He raised your hand to reveal the glowing purple glow stick bracelet.

“Oh.” The stranger pouted his lips, causing a rush of something to burn deeply within you, “well,” he fiddled with his fingers, “when you're not on a diet can you come back? I’m here almost every night.”

You turned to Abel, not sure what was happening.

“She’ll think about it.” He patted him on the shoulder before placing his hand at your back once more and led you through the crowd.

Going up steps, he let his hand fall from you, but you couldn’t find it in you to step away from him.

“This is a nightclub for vampires?”

“And humans.” Abel said casually before stopping someone and ordering a few drinks.

“Wristbands are color coded.” He led you to a cornered booth before guiding you in and sliding after you.

“Red for feeding vampires, green for those willing to be bitten, yellow for humans who don’t, and purple for vampires who are on a diet.”

You looked at your purple wristband with a frown. A gnawing sensation swelling within you.

“But I—“

“— have had more than enough.” He sighed as he saw your face fall, “look. Bloodlust is a hard thing to come back from but enough time has passed where you aren’t jumping on any and everything with a pulse.”

You nodded at the reason in his words.

“Who are we here to meet anyway?”

Abel twisted the ring around his finger and crossed one of his legs over the other one.

“The vampire who helped me after me and my wife were turned.”

As the waiter placed down your drinks, a figure appeared out of nowhere. Eerily still and quiet as people bustled to and fro around him. His gaze fixed on you and Abel.

His hollow black eyes reflected the light and surrounding colors in a strange effect you could barely understand. His equally dark and plain clothing was just as off putting.

“He is ready for you.”

Abel took a quick swig of his drink and ushered you out of the booth.

He held you close to him as you both followed the strange man.

“Let me do the talking.” Abel whispered in your ear. “If he tells you to do something, just do it and don’t protest too much.”

You opened your mouth to say something, but Abel rose an eyebrow at you as his mouth twisted into a tight thin line.

“Most importantly,” he whispered in your face as you both climbed the steps to an intricate door to a room that looked over everything, “follow my lead.” His eyes flashed in the familiar old gold you’ve grown comfortable gazing at, but in this moment it made your veins run cold.

“Abel,” a man who looked strangely familiar to him, stood up from behind his desk to dutifully shake Abel’s hand with a formal and polite smile, “it’s been so long. To what do I owe this rare pleasure of a visit from you. Everything is well at the office?”

“Yes, everything is fine, but I have a request to ask of you.”

At that moment, the man looked at you and his eyebrows rose into his hairline.

“I see.” He corrected himself with another polite smile and motioned towards the chairs in front of his desk. “Let’s discuss this in a more comfortable manner.”

He and Abel looked alike, but they couldn’t appear more different.

This man’s hair was much curlier, but does this mean Abel’s hair could be equally as curly?

He was turned much later in life. The evidence in the salt and pepper of his hair and the thick beard that suited his features.

Despite their few differences there was so much they had in common. In the formal attire they both seemed to respect and their equally formal mannerisms, but it was clear this man held some sense of superiority.

Not only in how he moved and acted, but how Abel, the most powerful vampire you had recently met, treaded carefully around this one.

It would have caught you by surprise if you weren’t feeling suffocated by a strange yet powerful aura.

It had to be coming from him.

“Forgive my rudeness, let me introduce myself. I am Duke Leto Atreides although not quite a Duke anymore. That was quite some time ago.”

You cleared your throat and told him your name, introducing yourself just as politely.

“It’s no trouble at all.”

Leto looked at you a moment too long with an odd look, like you had shocked him somehow, before his face fell back into its usual demeanor.

You looked at Abel to see if you had done anything wrong, but he gave you a small nod to reassure you that you had not. However, his face seemed to hold a look of concern or wary at how the Duke was looking at you.

“What is it you came to ask for?” He cleared his throat before turning his attention back towards Abel.

“Well, it’s not so much a favor for me, but for her.” Abel crossed one leg over the other and corgilly clasped his hands together in his lap.

“She’s a fledgling.” He paused, licking his lips and dipping his head down momentarily. His eyes briefly glowed before he slightly shook his head, “she was unwillingly turned.”

The Duke’s head snapped towards you with a frown. His expression of formal politeness was no more. It was quickly succeeded by a cordial disdain, regarded with frown, on your behalf.

“Impossible.” He placed his chin in the knuckles of his hand. “Who would do such a thing? The event of someone unwillingly turned surviving is rare.”

“What!”

You violently twisted in your chair to face Abel and he stilled you with a hard look and an arm across your body to keep you from speaking and moving more.

“That is exactly my understanding as well, but she is alive and well and recently recovering from a bout of bloodlust.”

Leto stood up with a look of thought, and Abel followed suit.

You rise with a glare, your eyes looking between them both. You tried to keep your composure, but you were failing on every level. You could feel your anger coursing through your veins. Whatever magic that had your heart thumping surged throughout your body. Your heart beating faster and faster until you couldn’t feel it in your chest. It was racing at such a speed you couldn’t hear and your vision started to blur.

Leto had two hands on the side of your face, looking into your eyes as you stood frozen in your rage. When did he start talking to you? When did he put his hands on you?

“W—“

“— calm down.” His eyes glowed into yours. An iridescent gray blue. Almost a dark indigo of sorts.

It made you think of the rain. A thunderstorm and how before its clouds burst, the lightning cracks. Seconds after, it’s followed by thunder pounding. How once it ends, there’s an eerily still that falls on everything. The dark clouds recede and a bright and sunny day materializes in a bath of melancholy of not knowing what had just happened and why.

It didn’t calm you down, but it slowed your heart in your chest, something within you was still seething at him.

He didn’t weep for you as Abel did.

His thumb softly brushed at your cheek as he studied your face. A calmness bloomed across his face. His polite superiority is gone, revealing just a man— a vampire.

He looked like he found something he once longed for. Whatever it was, he now found in you.

You looked over to Abel. His expression is neutral,, revealing nothing to you.

“Um, Duke…sir?” You cleared your throat.

He practically leapt back. Except it happened before you could blink and he kept his hands awkwardly in front of him.

“Ah, yes.” He dusted off himself and brushed his clothes. “Forgive me. I got carried away.”

He looked at you once more, but now as if he knew you.

“Is there anything you could do to help her?” Abel's voice was strained with a cordial air, clipped with an agitation.

You reached out to him. Brushing your hands through his hair to rest momentarily on his cheek.

He closed his eyes for a brief moment. His brow furrowing and his mouth twisting to one side before he slightly moved away from your hand.

His face was back to normal, but a nagging feeling within you told him he wasn’t. It made you ache with a need to dissuade whatever it is. You wanted to repay him for all the moments he’s calmed you down and made you feel warm these last few days.

Being with Abel made you realize just how much distress Fontaine had you under. How rage got you out of bed in the morning and hatred got you through the day.

Being with Abel made you realize just how exhausting it was.

You were still learning how to exist in a calm state. How to let go of your thoughts and anger and take things one at a time.

“I can help break her tie.”

You shared a look with Abel. Your eyebrows rose into your hairline and your mouth agape. Leto’s words seemed to put Abel at ease. He unbuttoned one of the buttons of his suit jacket and held a fraction of a smile before he turned to face him.

“It will be very painful, but I—“

He paused. His ears tinging red as he cleared his throat and averted eye contact from you.

“May I,” he licked his lips, “may I have a taste of your blood?”

You looked into his eyes. It was a mistake.

They glowed with a dark unrelenting gaze. His bashfulness was no more, either way, heat rushed throughout all your senses. Your eyes fluttered as you looked anywhere but him.

“Yes.” You quickly stuttered out. “It’s—

“Are you sure?” He interrupted you and moved his head into your line of sight. Suddenly, filling up your personal space.

You blinked repeatedly and stared dumbly in response.

No one had ever asked.

You nodded silently and he only raised his eyebrows at you.

“Yes.” You said softly but with more determination than before.

With careful hands he moved your head to the side.

Burning, his mouth was burning you.

His mouth felt like hot coals being placed on your neck. He cradles your head towards his chest as if he had done it a million times. His mouth moves along your skin with the fury of a thunderstorm, swollen with the humidity of the summer air. Unrelenting and smothering, he finally bit down, something within you breaking. The evidence of its lightning touch was the thundering of your heart in your chest.

You don’t know what to do with your hands. You run them along his chest, his back. You push and pull at the fabric of his shirt, of him. All you could smell was him.

He was all you could feel.

Slowly raising his mouth from your skin, you both pant with heaving chests as you watch the small trail of blood that connects from his mouth to your skin.

Without missing a beat, he laps at the small holes left on your skin. You can’t help the moan that spills out of you, and he closes his eyes.

You slide your hands from his back into his hair.

Desperate to pull him in once more.

When he opens them, neither of you say a word. The glowing storm clouds of his eyes transform into something so dark it’s a wonder they still glow at all.

Without breaking eye contact, he swiped his tongue along his lips to taste more of your blood. Your eyes dart across his face, desperate to catch each movement.

He moved closer to you, mouthing along your neck and sniffed deeply at your skin, pushing his nose firmer against you. He breathed out of his mouth. The warmth of his breath searing into your pores.

You couldn’t take it.

“One more,” he panted into your neck. “Just one more.”

“Please.” You practically pant back into his mouth.

You aren’t aware of much of anything at this point. You're lost in tides of air and whirring winds and you aren’t sure you want it to end.

As he pulls up to you once more, you surge towards him in unison, unaware of just how much strength you were using.

He makes a small oomf sound as you thud into his chest. He puts his hands at your hips and holds you tentatively.

Your mouth clamps onto his neck with just as much fervor. You felt more desperate than he did. You felt like you weren’t as sensual. That you sucked and slurped at his skin like some rabid creature, but the sounds coming from you told you just how wrong you were.

His pants were growing short, sharper, almost transitioning into a low keening wine.

“Fuck.” He whimpered into your ear before pulling you off of him by your hair. An action you would have taken into offense if it was anyone else, but right now after what you both had done, you don’t know what the lines of inappropriate and appropriate were anymore.

“And here I thought I was the only woman for you.”

You both took a step away from each other. Leto straightened his posture and clasped his hands formally behind his back.

You stood wide eyed.

She had your face. Only a bit older in comparison, but you knew your own face when you saw it.

“I think it is past due time for Abel to have another lover.” A man had interrupted. And not just any man, but a man who was the spitting image of Fontaine, save for the African accent and no beard. His hair was much tamer in style, and he had an equal air of superiority that Leto carried, and he seems like the type to not play about it.

He was better than everyone, and he wanted anyone who crossed his path to know it. He barely made eye contact with anyone else in the room. The only reason he seemed interested in your existence was because of how you and Leto seemed lost in one another moments before.

“Forgive me, my love.” Leto cleared his throat and avoided eye contact with you as well. His ears tinging pink before he continued. “I assure you I have not taken up a lover of any kind.”

“No?'' She stepped closer to Leto and ran a hand through his hair.

His shoulders fell into a more casual posture, and his expression softened.

“She’s a fledgling.”

“I think it's time we made our leave.”

You turned towards Abel.

His voice did not reveal his feelings, but from the look in his eyes and the slight frown on his face, it was clear how he felt. A storm of guilt brewed in the pit of your stomach. You had only been with him for a short period of time, but you couldn't help the feeling that you committed some type of betrayal. However, not out of some loyalty, that he was some sort of only being you could be tied to, or that he was some sort of lover, but you felt some type of way about having that moment in front of him.

You still would have done it. You dont regret it in the slightest, but he shoulnd’t have been here to see it.

You sighed. Not caring to hide the agitation in your voice.

“I would love for someone to explain to me what that means instead of acting like I don't exist.”

Everyone turned to look atr Abel for some reason, and that irritated you even further. The rage boiled over within you. You could no longer see who or what was in the room, only what you were feeling.

“I know, through the magic, it feels like she's been a vampire for ten years, but if you’ve heard her story, it's only been for a short amount of time .” Abel said through his teeth.

“Well. . .” the woman who looked like you started. She eyed you up and down hungrily, “If she currently doesn’t belong to anyone. . “

“No.” Abel grabbed your arm and moved you behind him.

“I only made an agreement with him, and I don't have any allegiance to you whatsoever.”

“I understand her position of not being taught the proper edicate for how things work amongst us, but for you Abel there is no excuse!” Leto raised his voice. His eyes a startling eerie glow of a stormy blue-grey.

A wave of energy would have knocked you off your feet if you didn't grab Abel’s arm in time. He was much stronger than you were, so he didn’t seem to be affected by whatever invisible wave was swirling around in the room. He uncharacteristically glared at Leto. His apparent disrespectful attitude unwavering.

The man who had the same face of Fontaine looked you and Abel down with a pathetic disdain.

‘Where is the other one?” He asked as if he was offended that a copy of himself existed.

“What other one?” Abel spat. His eyes closing and his shoulders scrunching up as he waved his arms.

“What the fuck,” he yelled, his fangs bared and his eys glowing a dazzingly dangerous yet beatiful yellow, “is going on? What aren't you telling me?”

“Abel did you not tell them?” the woman with your face smacked her teeth and looked back at Abel with a glare.

“I was getting to it.” He looked much more sympathetic.

“It looked much more like you were about to put your tongue down another woman’s throat if you ask me.”

“Enough!’ she turned back to give the man a look. “Does it look like I care? If you can’t stand to be in the same room as Leto so badly, then you go find Jay!”

He smacked his teeth with a frown, and then suddenly looked over to you.

The sound and look on his face at that moment made him look so much like Fontaine. Anger rushed through your senses once more.

“Wipe that look off your face.’ He scoffed at you before making his way out the door, “I promise you, I hold no resemblance to whoever this other vampire may be.”

He spared one more look at Abel. This time with much less disgust.

“Follow me.”

Abel looked towards you instead.

“Go.” Leto commanded and Abel glared at him.

Silently, he followed. Not bothering to hide his frown.

You eyed him trepidly.

What was all this about?

-

Yo-yo didn’t like the sight of this.

A woman who looked just like you but at least ten years older walked in. Behind her, a man that looked just like Fontaine.

He kept his hair in a sizable fro on his head with a proper edge up that was faded at the temples. A smaller amount of facial hair that was way better groomed than Fontaine would ever attempt.

He was just as fancily clad as the other two men that looked alike.

“This is bad. She’s drunk that other vampire’s blood.” Slick whispered into her ear.

“Shut the fuck up before someone hears us in here!” She whisper-shouted at him.

They had snuck in, but whatever glamor Slick had placed on them had only lasted so long.

Yo-yo chewed on her lip as she watched you all sit down on a large couch. This vampire was just as strong as the one called Leto. Not only that, but she also had your face.

That meant big things. Things they couldn’t change.

A prophecy or some shit.

“Is that why you kept looking at me so strangly?” Yo-yo watched you ask. “Because you know. . .her?”

“He’s only ever met me like this.”

You nodded. Not really looking at either of them, making the woman frown in sympathy.

“My name is Shante.”

“Why do you all have our faces?”

Shante shared a look with Abel.

“Straight to the point I see.” She smiled. “I was the same way when it was my first time. I know it must have been hard and confusing.”

“Hard and confusing is an understatement.” You huffed bitterly.

She let out a short sigh, more out of nerves and not frustration.

You looked up at her oddly.

Yo-yo could only wonder why.

“I won’t hold you long or beat around the bush.”

“I think that’s best.” Abel clasped her hand in his.

“If you want to get technical, we are the originators of these faces and you all are our dopplegangers.”

You nodded, wringing your hands in your lap. “I think I know what those are.”

“You're always going to have a Leto and a Ghezo.”

Shante leveled at you with a serious tone.

This made you leap up with a hiss, baring your fangs.

“I don’t need Fontaine!”

“But you do.” Shante stood up and hissed back at you. “Without him you will never know peace. If you kill him, you might as well kill yourself too!”

“Good!” You screamed! Your voice sends a shock of power throughout the room making everyone still, even Yo-yo and Slick.

“What?” You broke the silence. “What’s so surprising about that after everything I’ve been through?”

“Forgive me,” Shante abruptly sat. “I didn’t know things were that bad between you.”

You sat with a self assured huff. Appearing more calm now that no one was about to tell you to get over your emotions.

“What makes you so sure, I need him?” You swallowed, looking straight ahead and not making eye contact with anyone. “What makes you think I could get over it?”

But everyone knew what you were really asking.

“I once was mad just as you were.” Shante said softly.

You looked at her with watery eyes.

“I was turned just like you.” Shante looked at her and Leto’s hands clasped together in her lap. “Ghezo had made a deal with someone. They promised him an eternity of power. . . But they also warned him about the cost. The people he would lose and now he’d never get close to anyone.”

She drew in a shaky breath and you cooled closer to her. She smiled softly. A tear falling down her cheek. Leto wiped at it with his thumb.

“He talked with all of us, his wives. Some said yes without thinking, but I said no.” She looked up at you, with a stream of tears falling down her face.

Yo-yo wiped a tear of her own as she watched you both cry. Slick put a hand on her shoulder, and she didn’t brush it away.

“I was in love with being human and the idea of cheating death didn’t sit right with me. Long story short, I woke up like this, against my will.”

“What did you do?” You whispered.

“I left him. I left my home. . . And then I found Leto.”

“So. . . You stayed with him and for some reason just forgave Ghezo?”

“I wish I could tell you more, but you and Abel have to find your own way. . . And Fontaine.”

“I’m going to kill him.”

Yo-yo couldn’t hear anymore.

“I think we got what we came for.”

Slick didn’t say anything. Nodding, he snapped his fingers, and they were both gone.

[randomfanner]

Spawn Astarion + His Siblings Headcanons

Time for Spawn Astartion, his headcanons are probably going to be the lightest this far, mind you I am writing this before I actual write the headcanons so this is subject to change. Unless of course it doesn't!

When I do Ascended Astarion, there is going to be a lot of warnings but that is Ascended Astarion. We are letting this vampire man be happy five minutes before we go into what happens if his life gets ruined.

There is a mention of the slimmest piece of shit. The rattest of rat bastard: Cazador. Only mentioned.

Discussing Astarion's relationship with sex. Not sex itself, there is nothing safe for work, just how Astarion is most definitely demi-sexual.

This is going to be tooth rotting:

Astarion is trying so fucking hard to be a good boyfriend. Do you have idea how much he is trying? He has no idea what he is doing, he meant that so he tries to figure it out by doing everything he can for you.

This man will wait on you hand and foot and I am serious.

He loves to do it too. You are the first thing to make this man feel safe, loved and wanted in 200 years. You have aided him in getting free from the tadpole in his head, the Absolute nonsense, his past, his tormentor, that ritual and, perhaps most importantly:

Himself

"So by all means dear, sit down, relax," he guides you to sit down on the couch. "This is the least you deserve. Besides I do think you have a few friend who would be happy to be lathered in your lovely attention well I make dinner," of course he is referring to Scratch and Owlbear cub. He will give you a kiss on the cheek as he goes to make you dinner.

Of course afterward he is done with dinner, he joins the cuddle pile. giving you kisses and praises... If you are gracious enough to allow him a nibble he certainly will not deny though.

This to be said even after all this time he is not used to receiving affection and positive attention back. Not anything genuine at least and so it can take him... time to get used to receiving your touch.

Oh the man loves it. Do not get it right you make him feel... wanted. He is just not used to that feeling. So sometimes he may flinch away from you when you try to be soft with him. He doesn't want you to feel offended and does assure you "It is in no way you, my beloved, it is all me."

Give him time and he always does come seek out your touch eventually. He does thrive on the warm you make him feel with your softer moments.

Astarion notices he is slowly becoming... good. He hates it. He does like it, but he really hates it

One day he was walking home after getting groceries from the night market and saw someone dropped their wallet, and with out thinking, he returned the wallet. He got thanked and walked away with out even realizing what he did and then he just.

Stops.

He debates on going back and stealing the wallet back. He can, he knows he can... but he just.... doesn't. He just goes home and isn't sure what he just did and man may have a crisis.

"Don't worry about me, dearest!" if you try check on him. "I just did a good thing with out reason and I am not taking it well- give me a minute. I do want to discuss this!"

He becomes very clear with his emotions and tries not to hide them with you at all. He will tell you what he is thinking, when he is thinking and makes sure you expect complete honesty from him. You have shown him all and more trust in the world.

He did try to kill you at minimum twice and he was fully intent on using you. He still feels... guilty about those things as much as he tries to deny it. And he does talk with you about it when it comes up. Because he trusts you.

He honestly trusts you. It means the world to him that despite how little he deserves it, you showed him trust. And he is so happy you are here with him.

Astarion tends to go hunting a lot in peaceful times. He is still a vampire and even with out the blood lust of hunger he sometimes just... needs to kill something. A predator instinct that is going to be with him as long as he is a vampire.

Not that he minds. Going hunting for animals, sometimes monsters, and any nasties who are stupid enough to try and attack him make him feel excited.

He keeps his promise not to attack innocent of course and has saved a few lives by his hunting. Whether it be a child who got lost in the woods at night, or perhaps a foolhardy adventurer. A lot of these you wouldn't have known about if it weren't for the fact the people he has saved have stopped by during the day, bringing by gold or gifts as a reward.

Astarion never expects it but it makes him... happy. It makes him really happy.

Take him shopping when you get to Baldur's Gate. Like, do it, please. Take him to the Facemake Boutique and let him pick out his own, nice clothes and maybe some dye.

Oh the man is more than ecstatic. His appearances matters to him, it makes to him a lot. If you have no, read the description on his clothes: it made me cry.

He does cry about it afterwards . He will just be sitting on his bed at the Elf Song, staring at his old clothing , clothes he struggled to keep nice and now he has nice clothes from someone he cares about that he got to pick out.

It gets and makes you so many gifts. He will go to Halsin, whether you are in a relationship with him or not, and ask him to help him learn how to skin animals and begin using the pelts and leathers of animals he kills. (if you are also dating Halsin, it is a wonderful bonding activity for the two of them).

Man does sew and has been stitching up your clothes during the adventure. Even before he realized he was in love. He noticed a rip on your camp outfit and "Give that here, I will fix it for you."

He fixes your clothes with embroidery. He adds something that reminds you of him to your outfit and just hands it over to you, muttering how you need to be more careful with your clothing. And now he will ask if he can add a bit more flare to your outfits.

Man has a lot of fears that he doesn't realize are fears until they come up again. They were things that he accepted as life and now he doesn't have too, he is terrified of them. Please protect him.

So this is you decided to not kill the vampires. I personally could not kill the vampires:

Knocking on the door is never an expected sound. Most people tended to leave you, Astarion(and Halsin) alone. Especially when it is the middle of the night. But when Astarion answered the door well.

"May... may we come in?"

"What in the bloody hells are you doing here?"

He never expected to see his brother or sisters again after you had convinced him to spare them. And if he did see them again he didn't expect them to show up at his house! He.... debates before he lets them in.

He is on edge about it as he officially introduces you to his family. You all really did not have any time for names or such when Cazador was still alive but now you are. He allows them to stay for dinner.

His siblings wanted to come thank you, officially and more completely than last time. And also get to know whoever the hell managed to give Astarion hope again.

It is extremely awkward at first, there isn't even enough room for them at the dinning table but.... you guys just start chatting about how life has been since things ended.

You hear about the vampires, how they are doing, and you get to meet his siblings. They are all damaged people but they are... nice people. Astarion is... kind of glad that they came.

Perhaps... they can have a relationships. Not forced siblings but... friends.

Willing friends.

[thegamingcatmom]

Hello <3 Listen I've started playing re8 and i've had my first encounter with the Dimitrescu family and I am here wondering why the hell didn't I play this sooner so I could obsess over this even sooner, but oh well. So I know you're cooking up a story where they meet the Denalis and I was like walking through the castle and my mind started asking questions. So ofc I imagine you don't wanna give away details of your story because then you wouldn't be able to tease us with lil spoilers and where's the fun in that, right? ;P So instead lemme write down what came to my mind and ask your opinion on that, let's dive into my delulu-land vision XD Tbh is nothing like super elaborated bc you know just rnadom throughts that came to mind so bear with me bc it probably makes 0 sense ok? SO it made me think like in a more kind of "modern" set up, where the Denalis are already vegetarians, they've lived a veeery long life, yk kind of like things are in the Twilight movies/books. In my mind it was like for X reason they were moving from Denali to another place to live, be because the Volturi, bc they had been exposed and therefore they need to gtfo before shit hits the fan (I blame the drones if that's the reason tho) IDK it could be literally any reason, it is unimportant. They somehow end up finding the castle, they meet this vampires who are like super different from them (In my mind I think is cool they can eat human food and sleep and shit eve n though perhaps they don't need it so I'd probs keep that for all vamps in any possible story but that's out of the question XD) and they ofc live very differently from them, the castle ofc doesn't mantain itself, so they have ppl working there for them and they probs dispose of them as soon as they stop being useful, they drink human blood, they make a game out of their hunts and seem to enjoy the pain they inflict before actually drinking the blood. Meanwhile the Denalis started drinking animal blood to stop killing the humans they slept with (With other reasons in the mix too but in the end it was to rpeserve human life) and they've lived away from humans, living in secret and all that shit, like is two complete different worlds they live in. Now all that to make this questions: Say Lady D offered them a place to stay in the castle for reasons unknown bc I hadn't actually thought about it tbh, I don't think she'd mind if they kept their boring vegetarian lifestyle, but they have a choice now to keep it or instead go back to human blood, which honestly seems more tasty and the better option, do you think they'd take it? Would they agree and stay in the castle? Would they leave? Idk f there would be any consequences if they decide to leave though, and in case of staying what about the coven itself? I mean Tanya's the leader, but it matters little I think her title in the castle bc I am not sure if Lady D gives a duck about it honestly, it's her castle after all(?) And final question I promise: How do you think they would adapt to this "new life" in the case they accept Lady D's offer of staying? You think someone might have more of a hard time with it? Will they talk/argue about it among themselves? Consider their options? I have a feeling that Tanya would not take any offer without speaking first to her coven, they are family after all and whatever they do will affect all of them, so yeah. Also this probably makes no sense as I stated before, it was a bunch of random thoughts that I poorly put together so yk don't feel like you gotta answer to all that nonsense XD And I still have not finished the game, just barely started it so idk, perhaps I'm missing some important lore, or something is inadequate, anyway thanks for reading my delulu-bible and for recommending me to go play the game <3 <3 Have a nice day :D

...Oh?

We´re simping for both camps now?

I love how, after having only just reached their section (apparently), this is the result. As in: The Dimis got their sickles hooked in you alright, LMAO.

Can´t say I´m surprised. *cough cough*

Like-

(Simping starts in 3...2...1...)

This was ALL of us when the game was only just coming out and Lady D was revealed in the Maiden Demo. It was madness, lemme tell you. The memes, the art, the fics my god-

The fics were smt else. And they just kept coming. They still do. Lady D destroyed the internet like no other video game character before. People kept dying in game just so they could stick around Castle Dimitrescu for a bit longer (preferably forever).

Like, this was the majority of ppl playing the game:

Lady D: *begins stalking you*

Ethan (you): *heart-eyes*

Lady D: *stalks closer*

Ethan (you): *heart-eyes*

Lady D: *unsheathes her claws*

Ethan (you): *dreamy smile*

Lady D: *takes one giant swipe at you that nearly beheads you*

Ethan (you), barely alive: "...F-Fancy stepping on me too?"

.

It was truly a time to be alive.

(You should check out some reactions to Lady D on Youtube, especially Markiplier. 💀)

I mean, LISTEN-

I dunno what Capcom was trying to accomplish with The Dimitrescus (they knew exactly what they were doing), but being stalked and hunted down by feral goth ladies and their equally as feral Momma because they thirst for your blood (and hopefully mayhaps other things) is pretty much a dream come true for most ppl. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Capcom, were you even trying? Honestly.

.

Okay anyhow-

I love your thoughts on this. Especially because it´s a lot more serious than what I originally came up with, lmao. Like, this thing I got cooking rn is pretty much a total crack fic (for now). Yknow, stuff like portals and time travel and whatnot seems entirely possible there, but I haven´t reached that part yet (the explaining part), so it´s still rather unclear how they got to the castle.

Like, it never occured to me that the Denalis might just find the "real" village in Romania (which is where the game is set). But now that I´m reading your thoughts on it, this seems pretty plausible to me. Defo something I can see happening. With that said:

Lemme start by giving some canon info (which hopefully won´t spoil anything for you):

the Dimis aren´t actual vampires

they are what they are because of a parasite aka The Cadou

they need to sustain themselves on human flesh and blood because of it (for survival & to maintain their powers)

Lady D will grow to the point she mutates out of control if she doesn´t (I´ve read that somewhere)

the Daughters are made entirely of flies

those flies will die if exposed to the cold (yet another thing that´s entirely different from Twilight vampires, who can only be fully destroyed through fire)

Lady D has no such "weakness"

the pain they inflict upon their victims is not necessary for feeding

they just enjoy being cruel

they turn their staff into wine at some point

or use them for experiments ("Moroaicǎ")

With all of that said: I totally agree that it´s a clash of two entirely different worlds. But that´s what makes it so interesting.

I also kinda HC that The Dimis see vampires as some kind of role models? In a way? Like, they clearly enjoy this lifestyle (a bit too much), so I feel like meeting some actual vampires - the real deal - would be like meeting a popstar or smt. At least to the daughters. (Dani would swoon.)

Lady D would be a lot more skeptical about it ofc, but there´s no way she would be able to hide her curiosity. I mean, how many beings pose an actual threat to them? Not that many. Which means Lady D would be quite hostile at first. She got her daughters to think of as well, after all. There would be the usual threats of "slice you to ribbons" and such, until she realizes-

There are no ribbons. And there won´t be. Because her claws are actually kinda useless against them.

As are the flies the daughters are made of. There´s no piercing that skin.

That´s never happened before.

That´s when it dawns on them that whatever they´re up against isn´t entirely human. The fact they (the Denalis) lack a heartbeat or the usual warmth is kinda telling as well.

In fact, the Daughters don´t enjoy being near them at all. They´re so cold!

But, you see-

The Daughters might keep their distance (for now).

But Lady D is more than intrigued at this point.

Listen, that woman is a sucker for power. That´s why she´s got the hots for Mother Miranda (MM), after all.

Well that, and because MM is fine af, obv.

(I don´t blame you, Alci.)

Anyway-

If she saw the Denalis wielding their vampiric powers and, yknow, posing an actual challenge for her in terms of brute strength because it´s not every day she meets someone who´s actually able to lift her- (can you imagine?)

Ofc she´s gonna want to get to the bottom of it all. Because she´s also a bit of a nerd, you see. Just like Momma. (They both fine af.) She´s gonna want to study them, write down every little detail in that notebook of hers.

Kate´s power is gonna fill page upon page as Lady D goes completely mad scribbling it all down like-

With that said:

Yes, I defo think Lady D would demand invite them to stay. She´s nothing if not a gracious hostess to those she deems worthy.

.

As for the Denalis-

Tanya would never make decisions without discussing it with her coven first. Not those that could be life-altering, at least. They'd only stay if everyone agreed to it. And, even then, I'm not sure it would be a permanent stay. I mean-

It's difficult.

I'd say it depends "which" Denalis we're talking. If we take the more deranged ones from my story (The Sisters) then I can defo see them agreeing to a permanent stay in the castle. Human life means next to nothing to them, aside from being their food source ofc. And while they might not agree with everything that's happening in the castle (some of the things going down in the cellar are...tough, even for them), they'd never judge the Dimis for their lifestyle, seeing how they're far from being saints themselves. One as corrupted as the other, I´d say.

If we take the veggie/modern Denalis, on the other hand-

I mean, the sisters killed ppl before. Loads of them probs. Therefore, the Dimis sustaining themselves on human blood and flesh isn't as appalling to them as it would be to your usual human. But it's how they do it (torturing their victims and basically getting the most out of it before they deliver the final blow) that makes them feel...conflicted. Most of their kind (as in: actual vampires) usually don´t draw it out longer than necessary. Mainly because they´ll succumb to their bloodlust almost immediately, sucking their victim dry in a matter of seconds. That (thankfully) doesn´t leave much room for any kind of torture.

With that said-

It´s still difficult, lmao.

I feel like our modern Denalis would defo be intrigued by the Dimitrescus. Then they´d be appalled. Then Lady D comes in with all that charm of hers, laying it on real thick yknow, basically downplaying the things that are happening in that castle full of blood and death. Then the daughters come in with their buzzing personalities. Then the Denalis would be intrigued again. And so on-

And before you know it, years have passed.

That´s the only way I can see our modern Denalis stay in that castle over an extended time period. Cause time works just differently for vampires, yknow. Years are like seconds to them. All one and the same. Doesn´t really matter. Not when you got eternity anyway.

.

Now, that was pretty much me rambling and fangirling without any kind of order, lol. So lemme try and give some more direct answers:

Would the Denalis switch to human blood during that time?

I think that´s entirely possible. That castle is pretty much filled with human blood - it´s everywhere: In the cellar, in the kitchen, in the storage rooms, in the wine glasses, etc. It lurks around every corner, constantly putting our sisters to the test. It´s like waving a piece (more like a bar) of chocolate in front of someone who´s been living on dry toast. Resisting becomes almost impossible under such conditions.

And the Dimis know that.

Am I suggesting that Lady D and her unruly daughters might try and seduce the Denalis back to human blood by deliberately leaving it out in the open, ripe for the taking?

Why yes, yes I am. That´s totally something the Dimis would do in order to gain numbers (and other things).

Would there be any consequences if the Denalis decided to leave?

As I said before, the Denalis pose an actual threat/challenge to Lady D. Neither her nor her daughters could do much to stop them from leaving, if they decided to do so. Doesn´t mean they wouldn´t try though. Lady D is a narcissist and rejection isn´t something she handles well. Her daughters share that sentiment.

"So you don´t love me?!"

Yup. That´s totally smt Dani would say in that situation. The poor baby.

Anyhow-

The Dimis would probs try to stop them because rolling over just isn´t in their nature. But I´d like to think one of the following things would happen then:

A) The Denalis use their vampiric charm to convince the Dimis to let them go without a fight.

B) Lady D puts a stop to things herself once she realizes the only ones to get hurt during this would be her daughters and herself. (She´d never admit that openly ofc.)

To sum it up:

Even if there were consequences, it´s highly unlikely the Denalis would be affected by them.

Would the Denalis adapt well to their new life? Would they struggle at all?

I think my fangirling pretty much answered that, lmao.

Unhinged Denalis: No problem with adapting. (More like they cba as long as they get their fill.)

Normal (modern) Denalis: Depends on the Dimis´ efforts I´d say. There´d defo be times of struggle and self-doubt. But then there´d also be times of "yknow what, why tf not". It´s a constant back and forth and it really depends on how well the Dimitrescus play their cards.

As for who might struggle the most:

Lemme start by saying Kate would struggle the least. I mean, the struggle would still be there, but she´s never been one to back down from a challenge. She´s also not one to shy away from the unknown - on the contrary: Out of the three of them, Kate is probs the one most likely to go "only one way to find out", YKNOW?? No risk, no fun, and all that. That´s why Cass and her get along so well. Whenever the two of them are together, the whole castle holds its breath.

Tanya would probs feel quite torn because, above all else, she has a duty to fulfill: ensuring the best possible outcome for her coven. So there´d be this constant nagging, telling her that all of this is kinda wrong and that, just mayhaps, it´d be better to haul ass. But then there´s time where she´s actually enjoying herself when she´s having "wine" with Bela, giving each other some advice on how to best handle their younger sibllings and such. That nagging fades for a while then. Until it´s back. But so is Bela. And that nagging fades again. And so on.

Irina would spend most of her time with Dani probs, gushing about finding true love and such. She sees a lot of herself in the youngest Dimitrescu daughter, albeit a lot more...unhinged, lol. They get each other, as crazy as it sounds. It also really helps taking her mind off things, makes her forget what´s going on in that castle. For a while, at least. Until the doubts start creeping back in. Dani notices though, she always does. And she´s always there to manipulate cheer her bestest friend up.

.

.

.

I hope I´ve managed to cover everything. Tbh, that was just me rambling most of the time, hoping it all would make sense along the way, lmao.

...Come to think of it, that´s pretty much my writing style. 💀

Thanks a lot for your ask! I really, really enjoyed that mashup. 🥰💋

Have a great day as well! ❤️

[thatswhatsushesaid]

tagged (kinda) by @mingguangsword!

i lost my first draft of this post 😭 let's try again.

1. why did you choose your url? because i am weak for puns, and because i am actually su she. weepy yet defensive lestat de lioncourt at the end of s2 voice, i am him, he is me.

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. a whole whack of them:

@dailyayao which is just daily screenshots and scans of jin guangyao from all versions of the mdzs canon

@yaozongzhupressoffice my neglected satire blog where i answer asks and reblog stuff in-character as yao-zongzhu. occasionally will make references to his entirely heterosexual feelings for his very good friend ouyang-zongzhu in the tags.

@itwasabeautifulwebbing my minthara baenre from baldur's gate 3 simping blog lol. it's also turning into a catch-all for various video game nonsense, tho i'm definitely not as active there as i am here.

@fakerashid same deal as above, just for armand from amc's interview with the vampire.

3. how long have you been on tumblr? i first joined back in 2011 with a different username back in the migration of the dragon age fandom from livejournal to tumblr, and have been kicking around in some form or another ever since.

4. do you have a queue tag? sure do! 'moling queue' because, as i said, i'm weak for puns.

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? originally this blog had a different username, and i started it with the intention of cross-posting very serious horror fiction thinkpieces from a wordpress site. obviously i stopped doing that and have been enjoying myself a lot more here since i stopped taking myself so seriously lmao.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? i don't understand the question, that's literally me, su-zongzhu. (please god recognize this is a joke)

7. why did you choose your header? i just think jgy and sms look very powerful and dapper together in that scene. 😌

8. what’s your post with the most notes? some unfortunate ides of march shitpost that broke containment within an hour, i have it muted and hope to never think about it again.

9. how many mutuals do you have? no idea. lots? lots and lots?

10. how many followers do you have? 1271 as of this morning.

11. how many people do you follow? apparently 400 on the nose

12. have you ever made a shitpost? absolutely not, i don't have a sense of humour or believe in laughter.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? every time my attention wanders pretty much lmfao (despondent)

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? never!!!! 😬

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts? i ignore them.

16. do you like tag games? yes!

17. do you like ask games? "i love them, but i don't like chain asks" <- same hat

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? "probably ray" <- oh no oh dear 😬 i think if i qualify as tumblr famous (doubt.jpeg) then probably a bunch of my mutuals are, too.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? i am boring and married so no.

20. what is the last song you listened to? this performance of the famous "flowing water" composition for the guqin.

21. what are you currently watching? nirvana in fire, and it's consumed my soul. mei changsu 👀...... /clenches my fist

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? "savory"! <- correct!!!

23. what is your current relationship status? "literally on my way to break up with someone T_T i'll be single in a few hours!!!" <- omg fennel!!??? um, as i said above, i'm married! no plans to divorce mr. sushesaid, he surprised me with flowers and takeout from my favourite indian restaurant yesterday because i was having a rough day.

24. what is your current obsession? jin guangyao. it's still jin guangyao. it's probably going to be jin guangyao this time next year too.

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

it's not an album, but basically all of the ensemble and solo performances by zi de guqin studio on youtube.

return to cookie mountain, tv on the radio

the wellermen's album of shanties and other arranged covers

the hades 2 videogame soundtrack

the baldur's gate 3 videogame soundtrack

the chain, fleetwood mac

all of the lyrical ballads from the kentucky route zero videogame soundtrack (are u noticing a pattern, because i am)

the haven videogame soundtrack

the assassin's creed valhalla videogame soundtrack

tagging: @ratheralark @holy--milk @carnivorous-horses-lover @sunriseverse @watertightvines @frodo-of-the-nine-fingers @confusion-and-more @occasionalinanity @varethinsilico @thepurplewombat @peacocksdance and anyone else who puts eyes on this thing and feels moved to complete it.

[iknowshocker]

Hello,

First, for your request about sending you TVD fanfictions : I am currently not reading these, so I don't have recommendations. But, you can still read the shitty ones I've written. If you want a good "shouting at nonsense" time! 🤣🫶

Then, if you had to romantically pair Kai with any other TVDU characters, who would it be!? By the way, you cannot choose the obvious ones like Bonnie... or Damon should I say. 🙄🤣

Sending a lot of love! 💕

hahahaha listen i'll never say no to a reread 😂😂

pls this question feels like cruel and unusual punishment because i simply cannot imagine him romantically or physically or intimately involved in any way with anyone other than miss bonnie lol

BUT for the sake of fun i've been thinking it over and i think my honest to gods only other option for kai is probably:

fucking aunt jenna 😂

now hear me out, okay, just - just hold on.

age wise she's got significantly less of a gap with him so we don't have to feel weird about it - the media overlap is going to give them bonding points like they 10000% get high to the same music don't argue with me

she canonically fell for messyalcoholic!ric with a dead wife and hidden stash of vampire killing weapons in his trunk so we know our girl loves a good fixer upper - she's probably not going to be bothered or freaked out by PTSD or nightmares, etc.

i just ?? know in my heart of hearts the '94 vibes would work for her like she wouldn't even need him to modernize his style

she dealt with jeremy during his crash out days and was kind and understanding but in a tough love way that i don't think would grate on kais nerves the way someone like elena canonically did

she's feisty as hell and kept up/enjoyed bantering with damon so she'd be able to match wits with kai and we know he's into that kind of verbal back and forth

she's such a dork like she would absolutely love his puns and silliness ?? the fond eye rolling would be non-stop and i would enjoy every second of it - he'd be going out of his way to make her laugh and she'd be helpless like just blushing constantly lmao

anyway, was jenna even on your roster of options i might pick 😂

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

@allvalley100

Prompt: Superstition

Pairing: Hawkmetri

The rest of this AV100 prompt that I didn't have time to finish before the prompt closed XD This one is a 7-parter--700 words total! Only fitting they should get a happy ending for the last AV100 post I write for them <3

***

Day 38

Talked to Eli about his…interesting new lady friends. They’re making me miss when he was hung up on Moon, honestly.

Anyways, turns out they’re just some exiled lesbians he took pity on. Families disowned them for kissing women, growing fangs, etc etc. Last I heard, Yas is single—maybe she’d want their numbers?

Woke up with a couple (bite?) sores on my neck, so I asked Eli about his pest control situation. He says everything’s fine, but I have my doubts.

Side note: Are metal allergies possible? Had to toss that silver crucifix—damn thing gave me hives.

*

Day 40

Confession: I’m worried about Eli.

There was an…incident a few days ago, and I hoped if I mulled it over enough times, it’d start making sense. Wishful thinking.

Was shaving the other morning when Eli barged in. Funny, I didn’t see him coming in my shaving mirror—can those things glitch? Thought that was only Smart Mirrors™️.

He started ranting about how “mirrors are for pussies,” and threw mine out the window??? Incredibly inconsiderate.

He insisted I didn’t need to shave because I’d look hot with a beard. How do you tell if someone’s joke-flirting or actual flirting?

*

Day 45

Have I mentioned Eli’s weird about blood now? Unsure I like it.

Cut myself on some loose board (this castle needs renovation), and he freaked out. Wouldn’t even look at it! Wailed about “blood being too precious to waste” and ran away. Huh.

Townsperson banged on the door today, telling Eli to stop eating people. I opened to tell him that was nonsense, but I noticed he smelled...appetizing? Like a gyro wrap.

He made himself scarce before I could say anything, but…kind of hurtful, honestly. I know I’m a bit gangly, but I’m not that ugly, am I?

*

Day 47

Finally got a wifi signal in here! Only took 4 hours of fiddling to make Eli’s TV work.

We binged Castlevania today. Eli’s favorite character is Dracula, supposedly because he’s “such a badass and is gonna kick the asses of every one of those lame humans.” I think it has more to do with Dracula having a soft spot for a smart, good-hearted human who he goes absolutely batshit avenging, but Eli’d never admit to this.

Side note: Is it hypothetically possible for one’s reflection to gradually grow more and more translucent and dead-looking? Asking for a friend.

*

Day 50

Bad news: Eli ate the mailman today, and I…may have helped.

Walked in on him draining the guy’s blood, and naturally demanded an explanation. Eli said to settle down because “there’s plenty to share!” What an insane suggestion.

But since the mailman was already dead...

In my defense…best AB positive I’ve ever had. Not that I’ve had much. I’ve dabbled a couple times, but who hasn’t?

In better news: Wearing the “amnesia” down! We’ve been reading through the library together, and Eli’s instinctively remembering what kinds of fantasy and sci-fi I like. He remembers me—I FEEL it.

*

Day 60

Okay! Know what’s going on now.

We were reading Buffy comics when Eli clutched his head and started shrieking. Everything came back at once.

After I calmed him down, he spilled everything. Getting involved with a Kung-Fu-practicing vampiric “organization” promising nigh-unlimited badassery. Being taken to Europe, undeadified, and given a blood-only diet…none of which sharpened his memory.

Admitted I’m not inheriting a Greek estate, and I only came to find him. He tearfully told me that’s a shame. He imagined us building a life there. Maybe raising some goats?

Fuck it—if he wants, I’ll make that happen.

*

Day 140

Been a while! Busy, busy!

Surprisingly easy talking “distant family members” into giving us a land plot. Maybe it’s superstition. Maybe it’s healthy fear. Regardless, people don’t like saying no to weird, sharp-toothed out-of-towners.

Made Eli promise he’ll discuss with me before joining any new martial arts-related cults (especially ones that strand him in isolated castles as soon as he “isn’t evil enough”). Now he only feeds every so often! We’ve gone through some neighbors, but it’s an improvement over Transylvania.

Also, our eldest nannygoat gave birth! Eli named the kids Hellraiser, Slayer, and Wrathchild. I love them.

[baldurs-kinfessions]

I am someone who chronically kins multiple timelines of the same source and even worse of the same character. It makes me very self-conscious, honestly. Especially hearing from people with only one kin or only one timeline per kin. This isn't to say that they're wrong, of course not, but I feel like I'm somehow…doing it wrong?

I want to focus on one thing, to remember it all back to front, but sometimes I am jerked back and forth between the timeline where I ascended and the one where I lived out my days the happy husband of Wyll Ravengard. I remember them both, I remember so many details from both, and they both are still with me.

When I ascended. I remembered her so early on. Tahir. The love of my life. She stood by me even when I slaughtered thousands in the name of safety. I gained the strength to help her cast aside her past. She let me turn her, and she was mine forever. She wanted it. She says so herself, even now, and it's hard for me to believe it.

She wanted our children — even the one with Wyll, when I forced him to stay with us forever — and let me raise them properly. Give them the life and the opportunity I never had. I wasn't necessarily a good husband or father, I don't think I could be in that position, but I loved them all so fiercely it still hurts my heart now.

Mahavira. Hyacinth. Aurelia. Laelia. Ren. Addy. The child whose name I have not yet remembered. I love you all. You were my children, even if I was not always a father to you.

(And to Mahavira especially, I am sorry for the pressure I put you under. I am sorry for the way you were expected to be the better version of me. I should never have made you suffer for simply being the eldest daughter. You never should have suffered from me. I love you.)

When I didn't. I lived a better life, in terms of the karmic scale. I had Wyll always by my side. He even helped convince me that having our daughter was a good idea, and I will never be able to stop thanking him for that. Lily Aurora Ravengard. Light of my life. The bard with the sweetest voice in any plane.

You know, when she was little, she wouldn't go to bed without a story? And she wouldn't stand for any of this "book" nonsense, no, she needed a real story. If I didn't have a vampire's healing I would have run my throat ragged telling her the story of how the Blade of Frontiers met an ungrateful little vampire spawn and nearly let himself be seduced by the nasty vampire's charms. And then how they won each other over, stood by each others' sides, how they found a life that was all theirs and not determined by disappointed fathers or cruel masters. Of course, this was all censored for appropriate child-friendliness, nothing untoward and extra graphic violence, but she loved the story. The little shit actually laughed at how rude I was!

The first memory I ever had of her was her perfect smile. My exact words, as I wrote them in my notes, were: "White hair. Reddish eyes. A perfect smile. Didn't deserve her." And you know what? I didn't, but I still raised a pretty damn good kid.

Unsurprisingly, this musing turned into me reflecting on my family. I miss my families. All these timelines are messy, and I'll likely talk about them more. I get frustrated when I can't say things nearly as concretely as others. I get frustrated when I can't tell what comes from where. But at least there is one good thing about them: I'll always get to remember the children of mine that I loved. That I still love.

—Astarion

#🩸🌑🌿

🐙

[mejomonster]

Okay regarding the Dracula Silent Reading au concept I thought of earlier...

It's fucking Hilarious to me to imagine how zhoudu's particular Daddy kink would factor into a vampire au:

Fei Du, on Luo Wenzhou's lap, pinning him down, leaning down to bite, thinking he's got this whole flirting thing down since Luo Wenzhou feels turned on af and his heart is racing and he's staring lost in Fei Du's eyes

Then Luo Wenzhou flips them (cause even Vampire Fei Du is too rich and classy to Practice Fighting), he's handcuffed, stuck between Luo Wenzhou's legs face down in the cushions, shouting indignantly but it's coming out muffled. "!!!!"

Luo Wenzhou saying, "Now boy I don't know what you intended to do, but I need commitment before letting you touch me like that. Take it a little slower darling. Why don't you cool down." Reaching out and readjusting Fei Du, still screaming incomprehensibly, noticing his forehead is cold as a corpse. "Actually, let's warm you up. You're cold as death, sweetie." Then lifting him up and wrapping him (still handcuffed) nice and snug in a blanket. Fei Du is glaring dully, trying not to shout the thought in his mind "you idiot! I was going to kiss you to death! Drink you! I wasn't making a move! Even if I WAS being indecent, taking advantage of you, you'd have been dead at the end! Why do you even have handcuffs on you!!! Let me go!!" Alas he'd only say it in his mind, hoping the glare confers adequate rage to his target.

Luo Wenzhou making his mad little vampire some warm milk with honey, Fei Du politely letting Luo Wenzhou pour small sips into his lips, insisting: "drink up, it'll help you sleep. And with any luck stop your wicked thoughts." And Fei Du would be in between trying not to GAG at the drink suited for humans but not him, and trying not to scream at the fact milk can't do shit to horniness! Where's he even pulling that nonsense from?! But he'd cooperatively drink it, cause Luo Wenzhou looks 'friendly' despite Fei Du's assault, but if he's competent enough to subdue him then Fei Du will have to play nice until he's released. Also he is truly wrapped so tight in that blanket it's like a cocoon. Despite miserably being unable to feed, he is actually nearly as warm as a living person thanks to Luo Wenzhou's most generous 'efforts.'

Fei Du is silently seething, even more so when he tries to graze his lips across Luo Wenzhou's hand holding the glass rim, and in response gets a whack on the head. "You're the one assaulting me!" Fei Du would whine, the crankiness settling in from lack of blood for too long.

And Luo Wenzhou, the bastard, would just reply, "You're barely even marrying age, and you're going around trying to seduce men. A virgin like you should really be a little more modest."

At which point Fei Du can't take it anymore and snaps: "homosexual relations don't have a fucking thing to do with marriage! And who said I'm a virgin!"

"Well with moves like yours, I figured."

"An old man like you has no game, of course you can't tell when someone is more talented than you."

"If you were talented, darling," Luo Wenzhou couldn't help leaning forward, affording Fei Du the luck of hearing his racing heartbeat betraying his collected exterior mask as a lie, "you'd have me naked already, instead of being indisposed."

"I have no idea why that didn't happen, you didn't have any reason to restrain me." The whining just increasing with the lateness of the night.

Luo Wenzhou, quietly mulling around and cleaning up the now empty glasses and figuring out where to put Fei Du to 'sleep,' not mentioning he really stopped Fei Du because he did suspect Fei Du was trying to bite him. And what with rumors of a vampire on the loose, he didn't want to let that play out and find out. At least not yet. Master Fei is so cute, and arrogant, and unknown, and Luo Wenzhou would like to enjoy opening up the man a little more before condemning him to the mobs looking for a monster in the city. Even if there's a pit in his stomach sinking with the unpleasant intuition that it's less likely Fei Du would be a scapegoat, and more likely he really might be...

He'd pull a pillow over and tuck it behind Fei Du, then pull down his legs until he's laying across the couch, still nicely bundled up. Still colder than a human should be, when Luo Wenzhou's hand casually slips across his neck while readjusting him.

Fei Du laughed quietly to it. "Playing so hard to get, despite wanting me."

"Get some rest, Master Fei."

[owmyeyeballs]

A Bloodless Bard

On bite night things went rather awry for my sweet little gnome bard, Cyrill. Astarion took his midnight snack a bit too far, and poor anxious Cyrill doesn't know how to say stop. Without Withers in the camp yet, Cyrill had to be revived with a scroll, beginning the day with no spell slots and only one HP. Naturally, my brain decided this would be a perfect opportunity for Gale to nurse him back to health, and to have poor shy Cyrill (who doesn't yet know Gale's secret and just what he's letting himself in for) realize he's in deep.

Short, sappy nonsense... Enjoy!

When Cyrill awakens, it’s to a terrible, bone deep cold, a fierce ache in his neck, and a clamour of voices.

“I don’t care how hungry you were, if you think you’re going to lose control, you need to keep your fangs out of the people in this camp!”

“How was I to know he’d die so easily? I assumed he’d say when he was ready for me to stop! Hardly my fault he didn’t speak up!”

“Can both of you be quiet? I think I’ve got him back!”

Cyrill opens his eyes to a rather irate Shadowheart, her hands glowing softly with healing magic, which promptly dissipates.

“… Was I..?”

“Dead? Yes, you absolute donkey! Our resident leech drained you dry! I’ve not been awake five minutes and I’ve already had to waste magic bringing you back. Next time Astarion decides to try that, learn to say no!”

Cyrill flinches away from her anger, and tries to sit up. The world around him immediately spins, and he slumps down once more, eyes closed, shivering. He barely registers the sound of someone grunting in discomfort as they kneel beside him, and feels warm hands taking him by the shoulders, encouraging him to sit up.

��I doubt this bickering is helping our bard’s condition. Let’s just accept that mistakes were made, and work on repairing the damage. Now, can you open your eyes for me?”

Cyrill obliges, and finds Gale’s warm brown eyes gazing at him with concern. He attempts a weak, reassuring smile, trying not to shiver.

“There we are! Now, Astarion, I believe you have something to say?”

The vampire lets out a dramatic, long-suffering sigh, and turns to Cyrill, giving a mocking bow.

“My sincerest apologies that my little midnight snack went a touch too far. If it’s any comfort, you didn’t even taste that good!”

Cyrill lets out a huff of annoyance, and attempts to muster up a glare.

“Well, next time you’re desperate enough to lower your standards to gnomes, I’ll be sure to tell you to stick to rats.”

Shadowheart gives a snort of laughter, and Gale holds up his hands to silence any further bickering.

“And lets leave that there, shall we? Shadowheart, can you heal him any more? He still looks dreadfully pale.”

“Not if you want me helping to scout that goblin camp. If things go badly, I need all the magic I can spare. I’m afraid it’ll have to be fluids, rest, and food.”

Gale claps his hands decisively.

“That’s settled, then. You can have fun with your scouting, and I’ll play nurse as well as cook. Come on, let’s get you settled!”

Gale helps Cyrill to his feet, steadying him as he sways and almost falls, and as he begins to shiver more violently, takes the blanket from his bedroll and wraps it around his shoulders. With Gale’s hand steadying him, Cyrill finds himself being led to the campfire.

“There we are! Now, you sit down and try to warm up, and I’ll fetch some things to keep you comfortable.”

Cyrill kneels by the fire, clutching at the blanket, and watches as the rest of the party leave for the day. He averts his eyes, ashamed by this blatant display of weakness, and trembling as the memory of the night before returns. The sharp, icy pain of fangs in his neck, the starving vampire lapping at the blood as it gushed from the wound, biting deeper to release more, not seeming to even notice as his body grew limp and cold…

“I need to learn to say no…”

“It certainly wouldn’t hurt,” Gale agrees, making Cyrill jump as he kneels beside him. “You gave us all rather a scare, seeing you like that. But I can’t fault you for compassion. You saw someone in need, and you gave of yourself without question. It’s a fine quality. One I’ve noticed in you rather a lot, as it happens.”

For a moment, Gale has a faraway look in his eyes. Then, seeming to remember himself, he displays a pile of blankets, furs, and cushions.

“These ought to do the trick! Given Astarion’s responsible for your condition, he can deal with donating some pillows. I borrowed the furs from Lae’zel, and I think you’ll find my blanket rather soft indeed. Now, let’s get you settled in, and I’ll start seeing to some food. It’ll be a nice change, having someone to talk to while I cook!”

Cyrill finds himself oddly tongue-tied as Gale arranges everything into a makeshift bed and gestures for him to lie down, then fusses with tucking the blanket over him, tucking it up under his chin. It smells vaguely like a library, and Cyrill lets out a soft noise of satisfaction, that quickly turns to a hiss of pain when Gale accidentally brushes the wound in his neck. The wizard holds up his hands apologetically.

“Forgive me! I say, that does look rather sore.”

“It’s nothing,” Cyrill replies, offering a reassuring smile and trying not to wince. “Really, you don’t need to go to all this trouble! I’ll be fine, I’ll just rest a little, really.”

Gale looks thoroughly unconvinced.

“You’ll rest, certainly, but you’ll eat and drink too. And, with your permission, perhaps you’ll let me try something? I’m… no stranger to pain.”

“Your knees?” Cyrill asks. “They seem to hurt you when you kneel.”

Gale laughs, agreeing a little too quickly.

“My knees, yes… Now, here we are!”

A whispered word, an elegant gesture, and flames begin to dance around Gale’s hand. Cyrill watches, transfixed. Whether it’s simple cantrips or great, destructive spells, Gale’s magic never ceases to fascinate him. He doesn’t realise he’s been staring until Gale dismisses the flames with a deft flick, then presses his hand gently over Cyrill’s aching neck.

Heat still lingers in the wizard’s soft hand, soothing away the ache a little, chasing away the unnatural chill that seems to linger around the wound. It’s gentle, comforting…

“Ah, ah! No nodding off yet! Though I’m glad that seems to have helped. Now, stay awake a little longer while I prepare you something.”

Cyrill struggles not to fall asleep, comfortable in his makeshift bed, while Gale sets out a chopping board and sets a kettle over the fire. His eyes are just beginning to flutter closed, when a gently steaming mug is pressed into his hands.

“There, that ought to warm you a little.”

With Gale supporting his unsteady hands, Cyrill takes a tentative sip. Tea, just perfectly sweetened with honey, warm enough to be comforting, not so hot as to shock his still shivering body. When the mug is drained, Gale takes it, and presses a plate into Cyrill’s hands. Slices of apple, cheese, sausage, some grapes, small slices of bread…

“There was no need to go to such trouble.”

“There was every need! Why are we travelling together, if not to take care of each other? Now, eat as much as you can, and I’ll fetch you some water.”

Eating is a slow process, but Gale seems to have infinite patience. He shakes Cyrill gently when he starts to nod off, makes him pause now and then to take a few sips of water, and steadies the plate when Cyrill’s hands shake. At long last, Cyrill can manage no more, and Gale takes the plate as his head slumps back onto the cushions.

“Well done. Now, rest assured, I’ll have talked you into a deep slumber in no time!”

Cyrill laughs softly, and true to his word, Gale chatters away as he sets about preparing a meal for when the others return. Cyrill loses track of what the wizard is talking about, and Gale seems to expect no response, only checking in now and then to make sure Cyrill’s condition hasn’t deteriorated. Cyrill’s eyes grow heavy, and he pulls the blanket tighter, nuzzling into the soft wool. The pleasing scent of old books soon has him breathing slowly and deeply, and he wonders if he dreams the soft hand pushing back his hair and feeling his forehead as he nods off.

The day passes in a blur, but a comfortable one. Cyrill wakes now and then, and Gale urges another bite of food, another few sips of water, and repeats his warming trick when his neck pains him. When he is awake, Cyrill watches as Gale peels potatoes, dices onions, chops meat, seasons and stirs… All the while, the wizard chats away. The differences in bardic versus wizardly magic, the first time he managed to conjure a fireball and set his neighbour’s roses on fire, a passionate rant on the magical inaccuracies in the works of one Volothamp Geddarm…

Cyrill does his best to offer a little conversation in return, but there is something mesmerizing in Gale’s easy flow of words, and more often he simply listens, enraptured. And each time Gale pauses to feel his forehead, or steady his hands as he drinks, he wonders at how soft the man’s hands are, and how gentle.

By the time Cyrill finally awakens feeling more alert and less shivery, the sky has begin to darken, the first hints of stars beginning to show. A rich, warm scent fills the air, and Gale sits by the fire, gazing up at the sky. The fading light and the glow of the fire highlight the creases around his eyes, the flecks of grey in his soft hair. Seeing Cyrill awake, he smiles and offers a hand to help him sit up.

“A beautiful time of day, don’t you think?”

Cyrill, who has penned poems and sung songs on the subject, can only muster up a tongue-tied “… beautiful.”

Gale goes to take the lid off the pot, and Cyrill closes his eyes, breathing in deeply as the savoury scent fills the air. He keeps his eyes closed, cherishing the moment, wondering if he might later try to preserve it in some poem, never to be shared… And then, there is a hand under his chin, raising his head, and he opens his eyes to Gale offering him a steaming spoon.

“There, tell me what you think of that!”

Gale blows on the spoon slightly, then presses it to Cyrill’s lips. A rich, warming sauce, flavoured with herbs and spiced just perfectly. Gale smiles fondly as Cyrill swallows, and uses his thumb to wipe a slight spill off his chin. Cyrill tries to find the words to compliment him, but this close, he can see how the firelight brings out the tiny flecks of gold in the wizard’s brown eyes.

“There, now!” Gale says cheerfully, as Cyrill blushes. “That’s what we want to see! Some colour back in those cheeks!”

Before Cyrill can reply, Karlach’s raucous voice rings out.

“Bloody hells, that smells good! I could eat a whole deep rothe! Hey, you’re looking better, little man!”

“And therefore, you’ll clearly have no further use for these,” Astarion adds, approaching the fire and plucking his cushion from behind Cyrill’s head. Judging by the blood on his armour, he’s either killed, or fed. Or both. The voices of the party fill the camp, and one by one they approach the fire, ready to eat. Gale sighs and starts lecturing on washing up before dinner as he serves up stew, and the spell is broken.

And yet, Cyrill thinks, pressing his fingers to his lips where Gale’s thumb had brushed, some strange, warm magic still remains.

[pompadourpink]

I saw the ask with the lonely 19 yo and it was great advice. But what about ace people like me? I'm 29 and lonely too. If I am not comfortable with adult activities is there any hope I can find and keep a relationship?

Yes. I made sure to talk about that point in the other post for fear of seeing the original poster get coerced into something she is not ready for and her ambitions worried me. However, here are the good news: there is not a single way to be in a relationship, there are thousands.

There is always someone willing to look over a potential partner's peculiarities or eccentricities if they're impressed enough. All types of people get into relationships, regardless of their sexuality, appearance, health, personality, kinks, family, finances, schedule, job - good grief, even people with so many red flags they make Lenin wake up can find partners who manage to see something they like! Don't ever convince yourself that there is a part of you that makes you unlovable. Unless you are actively harming others, that is not a thing.

The first man I was with saw me hide my stretch marks and took my hand away to cover them in kisses, and I was never ashamed again. Another, the first one who matched my energy, went to the doctor within two weeks to get medication because he was allergic to my cats, and upon learning I had time blindness, ran home every night to cook and feed me. A few times, I caught myself saying he listened to me too much whenever he remembered details and he would shake his head and smile at my nonsense. I stopped thinking this way after a while. The men I've been around since went above and beyond to make me smile, laugh, think of them, feel appreciated, even when we never dated. I received Friday flowers because I was born on a Friday. I was unexpectedly Uber-eated Indian food when I had forgotten to eat. I danced barefoot in the rain and got carried home to not have to step in puddles. And it happened because I thought I deserved it, without asking.

But before the energy matcher, I systematically dated men who disappointed me, treated me badly, and dumped me without a second thought, because I was hurt and thought that they were the best I could do - even the first one. I had to learn how to become the smooth operator I am today, because I was co-dependent, a great aftereffect of my childhood, and I sabotaged myself without realising it for a long time. I didn't listen to my gut. I didn't respect myself. I was so eager to be loved I would become a vampire the second someone liked me, even though they hadn't even had the time to prove themselves and earn me, and they would get so spooked by my behaviour they cowardly behaved like donkeys so they wouldn't have to do the dumping, and eventually did do it when I accepted to go with it because of how desperate I was. I still had to recover from that, not because I missed them, but because I felt unlovable, again, because I hated myself, so I needed someone to love me. But that doesn't call for a good relationship. It's an exhausting way to live, and I'm actually proud of those men for putting themselves first.

That is why I mentioned the second point in my other post. You have to deeply love and accept yourself if you want to be in a healthy relationship. You need to think that you deserve the world, that you are fantastic and worthy of love. You have to feel complete alone. But also, and that is the hard part, you cannot have expectations. You cannot give a hundred chances to people who made it clear they don't like you. You cannot chase - by definition, they don't want to be caught. This part is why I was talking about making good friends first. You have been running after a train and been destroyed every time it started to slow down but then flew away from you again. Stop running and calm down. Find stationary trains, enter them, walk around with your head up, and leave if you're not wanted. Go on casual dates, join groups, use dating apps or social media to chat, just to get used to people's presence and flirting. Keep learning how to love yourself, regardless of your sexuality.

Think of a celebrity you find very attractive and confident. Can you imagine them starting to talk about moving in together after three weeks and crying themselves to sleep when their brand-new partner kindly states that it's too early? Probably not.

When your heartbeat goes down, your confidence up, and instead of chasing down a train that doesn't want you you are able to wait for one to stop and enter it like it's your home, there is going to be a passenger who will look up and like what they feel. And another one, and another one. And you'll start chatting and joking around, and they'll like what they hear, or they won't. And they'll learn that you are ace, just like they could learn that you have 18 parrots, vaginismus or a sun allergy, and some will take off there, and that is their choice, and some will stay.

Don't apologise for who you are, and don't try to tolerate those who try to make you feel guilty for it. Make yourself an easy choice, a gem, a sunflower, fireworks, and your dates will stop feeling like they're walking into a trap. They'll feel like they're walking into a dream, and they won't care that they can't get it.

Now, obviously, I'm not ace, so I can only recommend you join online communities of people with similar situations to figure out if you want to seek someone who also doesn't have a libido or if you prefer to meet regular guys, disclose the information quickly and decide together how to deal with it.

Focus on healing. Put serenity first. Love yourself like you want to be loved. One day, someone will make life feel like a movie and you will never remember that you ever felt this way. Just a bit more patience, dear.

Love,

Mum

[kiss-my-freckle]

Stelenas saying Delena aren't like Pacey and Joey because they're toxic makes me laugh since Julie called Damon the show's Pacey and she wrote DC and shipped Joey with Pacey while Kevin shipped her with Dawson. I also think it's stupid how they hate on Damon for things like Elena walking in on him in 3x1 even though Pacey watched Joey take her clothes off in 1x10. Fandoms involving love triangles between siblings are more toxic than ones without, especially TVD, because I don't see the same amount of hypocritical nonsense in other fandoms or people making as big of a deal about many things they would if it was TVD. When they use personal issues to attack certain characters while letting ones like Stefan off the hook for the same it reinforces this idea in society where people side with people they like to assume they couldn't treat someone else badly and silence someone else who's mistreated. This parallel between them in season 6 is beautiful:

I've never really put much faith in all that "if you love someone, set them free" crap, as evidenced by everything I've done in my life up to this very moment, but I am determined to be happy, Joey. Happy in this life. And I love you. I mean, I always-- I have always, always loved you. But our timing has just never been right. And the way I figure it, time is no man's friend. So I have to get right with that and be happy, now. Because this is it. I mean, this is all that we get. If there's one thing I've learned from losing Jen, that's what I've learned. Actually, um, hold on. I'm not done yet. Because I also want for you to be happy. It's really important for me that you be happy. So I want you to be with someone, whether it be Dawson or New York guy or some man that you haven't even met yet. But I want you to be with someone who can be a part of the life that you want for yourself. I want you to be with someone who makes you feel like I feel when I'm with you. So, I guess the point to this long run-on sentence that's been the last 10 years of our lives... is just that the simple act of being in love with you is enough for me. So you're off the hook./When you became a vampire, part of me was thrilled because suddenly there was this possibility I could have you in my life forever, but then the other part of me was devastated because I realized you'd lost the life that you wanted to have. And since I've been gone, you've gotten part of that life back. You're thriving, you're happy. Yeah, sure. Maybe you'd be happy if we gave it another chance, but the truth is is... You're better off without me. I died. You started over. I need you to live your life. Be happy. I love you, Elena. Enough to let you go.

You know, for the record I, I don't wanna be let off the hook. Cause everything in my life that I've done has led me here, right now. And the last thing I want, need or deserve is to be let off somebody's hook./Look. I've... made some huge mistakes in my life. Being with you wasn't one of them, and, yes, I had Alaric compel away my love for you, and, yes, I did love Stefan once. The night I died, Matt was driving me back to him, and yet I found my way back to you. Damon, I somehow always find my way back to you. It doesn't matter if I have memories or not. It doesn't matter if I'm a vampire or not.

Please don't miss my point here 'cause—/You're just saying that because you can't change what you are.

And don't miss mine. Pacey, I love you, you know that. And it's very real. It's so real that it's kept me moving, mostly running from it, never ready for it… and I love Dawson, he's my soul mate. He's tied to my childhood... and it's a love that is pure and eternally innocent. I can't be let off the hook because I just might get the notion that it's ok to keep running./No, Damon. I don't care what human me would have done because she's not here. I am. And if the past is a place without you and me together, then stop living in it.

Damon is Pacey, and they have a lot of great parallels.

I honestly blame Elena for walking in on Damon in 3x1. While he did know she was there, she would've had the respect to knock any other time. She walked through his door without knocking because she got another lead on Stefan and completely disregarded Damon in the process. Same level of disregard Lexi had when she pushed Stefan into that bar, not once considering the fact that it might be a bad time for Damon, so they ran into sired Charlotte and her dinner. Yeah, Elena earned seeing Damon naked.

[cosmicjellies]

long and disorganised dark shadows update

once again spoilers for this 50 yo show//

first of all i am stupid and got the last episode for the dream curse storyline wrong. i think i wrote down 563 and it is actually 536? and it took me a minute to notice. decided to stop at 560 bc its a good number. the adam storyline is very long which i find daunting, so it's good that there is also that to break it up. i have been watching it fairly slowly but i will still take a medium-sized break before continuing.

i have been thinking about what the best way to watch this show in 2023 is, and how the ways we watch tv have changed over the years. i usually am kind of anti-bingeing but i feel like this weirdly benefits from it? for me at least. maybe because it was daily and not weekly. that said its funny how repetitive it is. was thinking about this especially this time around- they reaallly dragged out that dream and that tape by dr lang, i feel like they repeated each of them about 100 times i could probably recite them. luckily i like repetition but i imagine it would drive some other people (esp modern day viewers who might be bingeing this) crazy.

anyway some scattered thoughts under the break-

i love cursed paintings/art-based horror so i liked that there was a bit of that, but maybe they could have spent more time with it. was very happy to see my good friend rev trask come back as a ghost like i specifically said i wanted him to last time. please come back again! angelique magically forcing tony to be in love with her was very fucked up! again i wish we had spent more time exploring how fucked up it was. elizabeth turning into naomi was obviously great i esp loved when it got kind of incestuous with her mistaking roger for joshua- there was already an uncomfortable subtext there esp after the casting choices for 1795 it makes perfect sense to bring that out. i am not super into nicholas as a character yet- he seems mostly instrumental, to make angelique go from villain to victim, which admittedly is fun.

excited for vampire angelique and it does make sense to go there. excited for non-barnabas vampires in general. speaking of, how do vampires work, actually? barnabas is suddenly worried about the guy she attacked turning into a vampire- but has this been a problem before? barnabas has attacked many people, who just died unceremoniously. when he was feeding off maggie it did seem like she was turning, but then it stopped. and obviously biting people does have an effect on them, but so far it's been used to enslave them/make them familiars, not fully turn them (something i really liked in previous storylines). either an inconsistency or something that needs to be elaborated on.

i dont have any full thoughts on the adam storyline as a frankenstein adaptation, since it hasnt finished yet. obv the way it was tied into curing vampirism was extremely silly and nonsensical but thats great i love that. didnt really care for sam going blind but it was fun when i made the connection to the book, in which frankenstein's creature befriends a blind man. leonardo dicaprio pointing meme. found myself thinking a lot of about adam's language development, and the ways in which it is probably not realistic, and wouldn't it be cool if someone did tell a similar story but had read up on language acquisition and made an effort to model the different stages etc etc. but i realise this is actually not something anyone cares about at all.

obv adams crush on carolyn is extremely uncomfortable, and it has now gotten to the point in frankenstein where the creature kind of turns into an incel. rip. was going insane whenever matthew talked to adam about women- first carolyn and then vicky. all that stuff about "imagine if someone took away caroline wouldnt you feel bad, think about how kidnapping women makes men who love them feel :/" when you could perhaps just explain to him that vicky and carolyn are people and what about how they themselves feel. blah blah this is from the 60s.

anyway stay tuned after my break for more disorganised thoughts! i will be finishing the adam storyline next

[the-pale-chancellor]

Am I bored? Yes. Shall I be preparing for today's oneshot and not write about my best boi Saer'llith? Also yes but who cares. So you get this. And also a Character.ai bot of him who already has some of these. PLEASE: do NOT rate the messages and note that he's still not fully ready in terms of answering in character (OOC sometimes). You can fully roleplay with him tho. ( https://c.ai/c/X6_sOD4B7EEAAifKBgdaESzDvHjxqC4fMYcPKYFmQ8c ) anyWAY- Some BG3-like responses cuz I'm playing it too much recently.

Voice claims: -Saer'llith: Лампабикт - Кукушка ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_Nu2i9kjcU ) -Escher: Fish in a Birdcage ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Cg_DkU4j4s )

Friendly Introduction: "I am glad that we happened to meet once more, my friend. I don't often call people, especially humans, my friends yet..You have my utmost trust, and this is all that matters"

Neutral Intro: "Welcome stranger. If you, by any chance, have something to tell me, then go ahead. Though, I doubt that I can help you much with my words only.."

Hostile Intro: "Cut it with your nonsense, human. I'd rather we get to the point if you have something to say."

Combat Initiated: "Let my wild magic be your grave!" / "Humans have always been cruel, what a surprise.." (that's a quote from a song "Время- Grad!ent"). -If Escher is in the team: "..for him my heart will beat" / "If the dawn ever comes, let me be there for you, my Sun"

Combat Victory: "Have I done the right thing?" / "May their death not be in vain" / "Do you recall when the war was just a game?.."

Attack: "Let them fall!" / "Bury the sun!"

Critical Fail/Miss: "Damn it!" / "Concentrate!"

Nat20ed against a BBEG: /quotes raphael/ - "The final act, your doom!" -If fighting against Strahd: "No vampire can stand the sun!" (Would jokingly throw a fireball in his face)

Support/Fallen ally: "No time for sleep" / "I'll take the stand!" -If supporing/reviving Escher: "No..NO!" / "Let my blood course through your veins once more!"

Combat Defeat: "The sun so coveted has faded into the abyss..." / "My magic has consumed me at last, no matter how much I've prayed" -If Escher is in the team: "I lied. My heart (is) no more.." / "May the dawn never come.." / "I'll see you on the other side"

Near Incapacitated: "Even the power of a Lychheir is not omnipotent.." / "Maybe I'll never find my Home after all.."

Received Reward: He would just silently nod actually lmao

Received Gift: Neutral - "Why are you giving this to me? I didn't ask for anything. Gift? I..uh..I've never recieved one.." (he will proceed to gift something back because he feels like he doesn't deserve all of that) Hostile - "I don't need your petty things, gift them to someone else if you want" Gift from Escher - /quietly/ "....Fool" (Would look away and hold the gift as if it is the dearest thing he's ever had. And it probably is anyway. Especially if that's a ring Escher always wears.)

Lost an Item: "I am not as careless, it should be somewhere around the place" / *Stands silently looking into the space* - wellp...

Received Flirt (any flirt for him is unsolicited so I combined the lines): -"Stop this humiliating nonsense!" / "Say/do that again and we'll see just how fast you can run from magic missiles.." -If coming from Escher: "Not in front of everyone, you fool.." / "Hush now.." (Even though he tried to fuss about the whole thing, he would allow Escher to toy with his hair or blindfold, have a little kiss in the neck or even a bite in. Then he would just quietly hold him in his arms, brushing the curls with only his fingertips and warming his cold skin)

Sees Favorite (object/subject): /quietly smiles and leans in to look at it/listen to it closely/

Sees Disliked (object/subject): "Whatever that is, I am not stepping my foot near it" / "I'd better stay away from it as far as I can" /proceeds to fake the little run for his life away from this thing/

Enjoying Activity: /would quietly hum a lullaby to himself until someone interrupts or just step close, making him slightly embarrased/

Disliking Activity: "Never again I am doing something like this, gosh.." / "Ugh...." /goes for his dinasaur hands and pouts/

Waking Up: "Sometimes I forget how cold it is without the sun.." -If Escher is in the team: /would lay for a while by his side, pretending to sleep, only to feel comforted by the one he considers his Home/

Bored/Idle: /stands in one place, sometime fixing his blindfold or casting small magic tricks to entertrain himself. Maybe sings something to himself again/

Preparing to Rest: /he wouldn't spend much time tidying up, knowing well that he wouldn't be able to sleep properly again (either get into trance state or have another nightmare if still in Barovia). He'd rather sit quietly, watching the stars/clouds than engage into any sort of dialogue/

idk what to tag this as but here's a silly thing i made

fill in the blank oc voice lines game! i did these in the perspective of the oc (so like friendly means oc friendly to someone else) but its freeform so yea!

Fill in what your OC would say/do in these situations!

Friendly Introduction:

Neutral Intro:

Hostile Intro:

Combat Initiated:

Combat Victory:

Attack:

Critical Fail/Miss:

Critical Hit:

Nat20ed against a BBEG:

Support Ally:

Flee:

Combat Defeat:

Near Incapacitated:

Received Reward:

Received Gift:

Lost an Item:

Received Flirt:

Received Unsolicited Flirt:

Sees Favorite (object/subject):

Sees Disliked (object/subject):

Enjoying Activity:

Disliking Activity:

Waking Up:

Middle of Day:

Bored/Idle:

Preparing to Rest: