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thedelusionalfiles · 4 days ago

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Streeter’s Girl PART 1

A Dominique Luca X Y/N fic

Plot - Based on the Rick Springfield song ‘Jessie’s Girl’ but with a twist. Y/N is part of the LAPD working at SWAT HQ and is great friends with all of the 20 David Squad.

Luca has a crush on Y/N but always sees her giggling with Street and making him blush, he doesn’t want to ruin his friendships with either of them but just can’t help pining and feeling a little jealous……but maybe Luca has got the wrong end of the stick 👀

Authors note - This is my first time posting a fanfic, I had this idea one evening at like 4am and decided to write it out. Idk how long this is gonna end up being 💀

Warnings - tiny bit of swearing, might go crazy and write some smut one of these days 🤷🏻‍♀️

Luca cant help but glare over at them both. They are sat way too close for his liking and Y/N said something obviously hilarious because Street is blushing and giggling with her. He can’t help the eye roll and the huff that escapes his lips, he tries cleaning his gun as a form of distraction, unfortunately it doesn’t last long as his mind wanders.

I don’t understand why they are hiding it from everyone? It’s obvious right?

He thinks to himself

They are 100% dating, the way she looks at him with those eyes….. those goddamn beautiful sparkling eyes….

Luca has to snap himself out of the his daydream as he sees those gorgeous eyes along with the rest of her moving towards him.

“Oh h-hey kid” Luca stutters as he tries to regain his usual calm demeanour.

“Hey Luca, you still alright driving me home from Annie and Deac’s party tomorrow evening?” Y/N asks with her usual kind smile. She never wants to put anyone out of their way so she wanted to double check that Luca was still okay with what he had originally offered to do.

“Of course Y/N, I told you I would and I’m a man of my word” Luca winks with a cheeky grin.

“Well thank you again” Y/N embraces him with a warm hug, this was a usual occurrence for the two of them, both being very affectionate towards they’re friends and as such, each other.

Luca gently sighs as he watches the woman he’s secretly fell in love with walk away, once again being none the wiser of his affections.

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Y/N POV

I don’t know why I’m so anxious, this is just a little party with all of my friends…… including the one man I’ve had the biggest crush on ever since I met him. Dominique fucking Luca….

Chris and I get out of her car, tonight was the night I promised myself I’d finally get her and Street to confess their feelings. I knew how Chris felt about him for a long time but it’s only been recently Jim confessed to me how he felt about her, which in turn made me want to tease him constantly and make him blush. We have formed a brother/sister like relationship where it’s basically constantly annoying and embarrassing one another. It’s great honestly!

“C’mon Y/N let’s get in there!” I hear Chris call me from standing on the front porch.

As we join the party, greeting everyone with hugs and smiles, I immediately notice him. He’s wearing a dress shirt and some very nice fitting jeans and he’s walking straight towards me oh shit oh shit keep cool stay calm!!!!

“Hey Chris, hey Y/N” Luca smiles and waves at us both. I feel like he glances down at what I’m wearing and I instantly feel shy under his gaze but I’m probably overreacting, he doesn’t see me as anything more than a friend, right?

As the night progresses I mentally cheer as I notice Street and Alonso getting extra friendly over in the corner, I’m so pleased that they have finally told each other how they feel!

I decide my job here is done and make my way to find my ride home.

“Ready to head off now?” Luca says as I approach him.

“Yeah that’d be great, thanks again for the ride” I say.

We walk out to his truck and I climb in the passenger seat. Classic rock is quietly playing through the speakers and we sit in comfortable silence.

“You alright there kid?” Luca breaks the stillness. I’m not really sure where this has come from but as I’m feeling calm and absolutely okay I reply as such.

“It’s just…. I saw you watching Street and Chris kissing…that must have been hard for you to see” He cautiously replies as to not upset me.

“….wait, what?” I’m completely lost now.

“Well, you and Street, were kinda becoming a thing….right?” He murmurs as he focuses back on the road.

I can’t help the giggle that erupts from my chest “oh Luca” I huff out between breaths “Street is basically like a brother to me!”

I notice Luca’s brows furrow in confusion “but what about all the whispering and the giggles and the blushing?” He rambles.

It’s like a lightbulb went off in my head “Oh you idiot!” I slap his arm affectionately, “I’ve been teasing Streeter because he told me about his crush on Chris the other week, I was the one who encouraged him to finally ask her out.”

“Oh.” He says whilst scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “I had definitely got the wrong end of the stick” Luca chuckles.

“Yes, you did” I giggle out. “Why have you been watching me and Street so closely huh? Were you jealous?” I jokingly say whilst I nudge my shoulder against his.

I’ve never seen Luca go this red before!

“You were!” I gasp pointing at him then the realisation hits “…… wait…. You were?” I question sincerely.

He pulls his truck onto my driveway and sighs as he turns the engine off.

“Yeah, Y.N, I was a little jealous….. I know, it was stupid.”

“Why were you jealous Luca?” I gently push the subject.

“Because I like you, a lot actually.” He looks over just as I lean over the to gently touch my lips to his.

It feels like time just stops.

#luca x reader #dominique luca #swat cbs #swat x reader

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bitterblackberry · 1 year ago

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so i finished kanato’s route. um. this game is so misogynistic? and you straight up have to go along with kanato’s abusive behaviour to get the good ending thats so? literally both yui and kanato follow textbook abuse behaviours. kanato constantly belittles and physically attacks yui, he even threatens to rape her at one point, but afterwords he often acts like she is overreacting and shouldnt be crying. sometimes he even comforts her immediately after he hurts her. then yui shows very obvious signs of being a victim of abuse, she makes excuses for him all the time, she puts his wellbeing above hers even when he’s the one attacking her (in one scene he is literally choking her and she’s worrying about how he’s upset). she starts off apologizing when she didn’t do anything wrong just to appease him but as time goes on she starts to genuinely believe she is in the wrong, at one point kanato locks yui in a storage room for talking to his brothers and by the end of it she has begun to believe she was wrong and needs to apologize, when they were the ones tormenting her. over the course of the story yui starts to depend on physical affection from kanato, saying she can’t live without sex + kanato drinking her blood, even though the player up to this point is never privy to any sex/blood drinking where yui isn’t crying out in pain for him to stop while kanato tells her how she should be feeling great.

then there’s the misogyny and rape culture in this game. i haven’t even played any routes other than kanato’s but the guys all slut shame and body shame yui basically whenever they see her. on multiple occasions ayato and laito try to rape yui and then kanato stops them, tells them to fuck off then berates yui for “seducing them” and either attacks her or locks her in a storage room for “being unfaithful to him”. he talks about how all women are seductresses ect ect. its genuinely really horrible.

i’m not trying to demean anyone who enjoys this game, but i just couldn’t. the entire time i felt like i was playing a horror game that was telling me i should find the guy who keeps abusing the main character attractive, which i just ugh.

if i can find the energy i’ll try to play a different route because maybe kanato’s was just especially horrible or something and i really want to give this game the benefit of the doubt because i like its style and overly edgy vampire shit from the 2000/10s is like my fav thing but idk

again not tagging because i dont want dialovers fans to see this and ruin their scroll of the tag. let me know if it needs to be tagged for anything else, i’m not sure what tags people blacklist to avoid this kind of content so i’ll try to guess in the tags but if i get it wrong please correct me

#faith plays diabolik lovers #cw rape #rape cw #abuse cw #cw abuse

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lesbiancharliedalton · 2 years ago

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it did take me forever to realize i’m actually not crazy lol. like i definitely have been overly emotional and have overreacted and been extremely clingy and not known how to handle abandonment or relationships. but i was also like. 18-22 years old lol no one in that age range is well-adjusted and i didn’t even start dating until after high school anyway so i truly had no experience outside of my high school boyfriend i basically only knew on the internet........ like yeah i look back and cringe but also most of the stuff i did was just a part of being an inexperienced freak.

that’s not to say i didn’t have a COMPLETE insane reaction to The Guy in 2017 (lmao remember that nickname!!!) like that was truly crazy and i have no idea how that happened honestly like it was just kind of a culmination of a bunch of shit i think that i had been holding in for years that just happened to be triggered by that. but i also have since realized that he quite literally Love Bombed me and manipulated me to an absurd degree that i didn’t even process until years later. :S like idk man it’s fucked up how i was made to feel crazy for thinking he liked me when he would constantly gush about how much he liked me and then the next morning when he sobered up he’d tell me not to believe him when he’s drunk. even though he never told me when he was drunk lol.

and then the next guy like ........... crazy we literally dated and he once again would go on and on and on about how much he liked me and wanted to see me again etc etc like we were very clearly DATING. for like a full month and we went on several dates and talked every day in between. and then suddenly he’s going to AA and has to be celibate so i was like :( i’ll be here for you. <3 lmao. and i assumed you know. he still liked me. because he didn’t say otherwise.

and when he said something about having a crush on a girl i was like uhh that’s weird to say to me hahaha (i tried to keep it light btw just saying i literally think i said lol or haha or something) and he totally BLEW UP on me and was like HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU WE ARE NOT TOGETHER. I DUNNO HOW TO MAKE IT ANY MORE OBVIOUS. I AM NOT DATING YOU. THAT COMMENT REALLY RUBBED ME THE WRONG WAY.

like..................... LOLLLLLLLLL I DUNNO maybe because you didn’t say you didn’t like me anymore???????

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attourney-at-lycan · 2 years ago

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OKAY i finished love love paradise. now. THOUGHTS.

not enough garroth. i want more garroth. i need more garroth.

you can tell the huge difference pdh has had on mystreet if you watch s1 and llp back to back. they reference it a lot so you’d probably be clueless for some of the mentions, though they do vaguely explain some of their references.

at the beginning the voice lines were a bit weird, there was always such a weird awkward pause between the lines that was extremely obvious but it does get better after the first couple episodes

the whole dante, jenna and nicole thing bothered me. IT WASN’T. problematic per say. i dont think it was b a d but it could’ve been done much better? i do like how nicole and jenna didn’t act as if nothing happened and didn’t try getting back w/ him or give him a second chance at love. i like how dante knows he cannot repair the damage he’s done. his plot lines can be mature which sometimes takes me in for a loop. however when zane said “dante is trying, he’s just being dumb” it made me.. yknow the kombucha girl cringe meme? yeah that one. i feel like........ it was taken a bit too lightly imo? IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT. i just wish it was taking more seriously.

also the travlyn thing towards the end kinda.. gave me whiplash. LIKE I KNOW it was sorta foreshadowed w/ travis going “i can’t take it” in his convo w/ dante but.. IT WAS SO WEIRD? because initially it was written as a funny joke but then it wasn’t and travis was actually feeling hurt. it’s just i don’t think it was done well enough so it came off as a sudden change in tone thats jarring

oh my god am i being too harsh- i feel like i was being too harsh bc this was not written by a genius so idk why im critiquing it so harshly im so sorry. but i’m still going bc i can :]

BUT ANOTHER THING. the whole aphmau being scared of swimming was hhh? on one hand i feel like it was taken wayy too seriously but at the same time i feel like it wasn’t taken seriously enough at times. by that i mean, aphmau seems to be the type to trust her friends a lot regardless, and she encourages her friends to tell her things no matter how embarrassing they may be, but when it comes to her, she stubbornly refuses to tell anyone but zane. but then when everyone knows, no one takes her fear seriously w/ pushing her into the water or going “lmao you’re overreacting”. maybe it’s me because i also cannot swim and it’s sooo fucking scary being in chest level water. tbh im honestly overreacting bc i would also laugh if someone was in my position ngl

WHERE WAS LAURANCE. WHERE THE. FUCK. WAS MY FAVORITE QUEER?

gene was great i love gene he’s so fun. it was honestly so weird him appearing like that. also what did they do to ivy. i wish ivy kept her haughty behavior but i do get her maturing or wtver but i just wish there was still that spunk now to me she feels like a bland.. character who’s just changed to good.

ONE MORE THING. i forgot what i ti was. GOD I SAID THIS ALREADY BUT SYLVANNA REALLY PISSED ME OFF THIS SEASON. i was fine w/ her not knowing that her daughter had a boyfriend but still going against her wishes despite knowing she has one afterwards simply because you don’t like him hrggghr. i know that mom’s can be annoying like that yeah but jesus fuck it does not help.

honestly aaron was just.. The Boyfriend, yet again. i did like how it was obvious that aaron was becoming more comfortable w/ the people around him and being more outgoing. it was cute. however. most of the things coming out of his mouth was aphmau. EVEN WHEN IT WAS DANTE’S PROBLEM HE COULD NOT HOLD BACK FROM BRINGING UP APHMAU IM SO TIRED.

anyway i give this season...... honestly 8/10? i know i complained a lot abt this seasons but it was genuinely fun to watch. i liked the other little side characters like the token gay couple (guy and nate + teony and The Girl who’s name they mentioned but i forgot), the dad and his son, also the bartender-

ONCE AGAIN i would love to mention this mini review is totally based off my personal taste yaddah yaddah, this is a very subjective and biased post so :thumbsup:

#aphmau #mystreet

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makeste · 4 years ago

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some follow-up thoughts on BnHA 285

1. “at that moment...”

you guys. I still can’t get over this. just -- guys. this is Kacchan telling the story.

he’s not the first character to narrate, mind you. characters like Twice, Tomura, Ochako, and Kirishima have all narrated in the past. but it’s always been past-tense narration of their own flashbacks, or else present-tense narration explaining their thoughts (e.g. Twice in chapter 115). Kacchan himself has done present-tense POV narration before. but this isn’t that. this is past-tense narration of an event that’s happening now. this is the future Kacchan narrating the present day Kacchan’s story.

has any other character done that, aside from Deku himself?? am I just crazy overreacting here, lol. idk but either way it’s cool.

2. “...there were no thoughts in my head.”

there was a post yesterday talking about Kacchan’s big moment at the end of this chapter being a little disappointing because of it being an automatic “my body moved on its own” save on Kacchan’s part. the argument was basically that it made the moment less meaningful because of it being a subconscious thing rather than a conscious decision on Katsuki’s part.

but I disagree! for me the “my body moved on its own” is actually way more impactful. and rather than describing it as “subconscious”, I think the word that fits better in this case is instinct. first of all, even though he says there were no thoughts in his head, we know that’s not exactly true, as we can see for ourselves the images that were flashing through his mind. I’m just gonna list them out:

“I’ll even surpass All Might and become the best hero out there.”

“why was it me who put an end to All Might?”

“I made a pledge! I will achieve absolute victory, every time! we’re taking this 4-0, no casualties! the strong don’t settle for anything less!”

“I’m not gonna lose... I can’t afford to stay a loser!”

“you... you looked like you needed saving.”

thoughts about what it means to be a hero. what it used to mean to him, and what it means to him now. thoughts about rescuing others. about saving to win. thoughts about his failures. thoughts about him and Deku. and last but certainly not least, vivid memories of a moment when he needed someone to save him, and Deku was there.

he has these thoughts, but he’s not aware of himself having them. it happens too fast for him to be able to process. but all the same, his body isn’t just moving here of its own accord. it’s simply that in this instance, it’s not thought that’s driving him, but emotion. at the risk of sounding INCREDIBLY CORNY, it’s not his head that makes the decision, but his heart.

and that’s why it’s so meaningful to me. in this moment, it’s not conscious thought that’s driving him, but emotion, instinct, will. he sees the attack, sees that it will hit Deku, and he just reacts. something at the core of him screams that he can’t let it happen, and he just moves. and to me that’s even more powerful than him consciously doing the math and making the sacrifice play (though I’m not saying I wouldn’t have enjoyed that as well). specifically because it’s a moment where he doesn’t have a chance to think or analyze or panic or doubt. it’s a moment that shows us who he is when you strip all that away from him. he doesn’t have time to get in his own head; he doesn’t have time to feel any fear; he doesn’t have time to think about himself at all. he takes himself out of the equation. he sees that Deku needs saving. and the rest is pure instinct. it’s the most heroic he has ever been.

3. “even if One for All is a cursed power... at the same time, it’s...”

I was wondering what was up with this part, lol. Caleb’s translation makes it much clearer; to Katsuki, OFA is both a blessing and a curse right now. the “cursed” part is becoming more and more obvious with each new chapter. it’s putting Deku in danger; it’s made him a target; it’s destroying his body; and there are other, darker and more dangerous factors also at play that Katsuki doesn’t even know about but fears nonetheless. I honestly feel like he’s been anxious about all of this ever since he learned Deku and All Might’s secret. it’s been on the back of his mind for months now.

but at the same time, OFA is what brought him and Deku back together. sorry, am I getting cheesy again lol. BUT IT’S TRUE THOUGH. All Might’s quirk gave Deku the chance to compete with Katsuki on equal footing for the first time. it forced Katsuki to acknowledge him. and both he and Deku have grown so much on so many levels over the course of this past year, and all of it stems back to Deku receiving this quirk.

and just... fucking look at these flashbacks, though.

unless I’m reading this completely wrong, the gist of this scene is that Katsuki is grateful for OFA because it’s what lifted Deku up and allowed him to try and achieve his dream. the scenes of Katsuki bullying Deku and burning his notebook are contrasted with the scenes of Deku standing up to him and vowing that he won’t be his punching bag anymore. Deku before OFA, contrasted with Deku after. I get the sense that Katsuki feels a lot of gratitude for fate stepping in and working to undo his mistakes before he himself could finally get his act together and start atoning for them as well.

and then that last page is really interesting, because it’s like the “blessing” and “curse” parts of OFA all together in a single image. Deku is going all out against Tomura, giving everything he has, ready to sacrifice himself if that’s what it takes. there’s so much strength there (even though he looks completely insane lmao), but at the same time it’s literally killing him. mixed feelings, for sure.

4. “Katsuki Bakugou: Rising”

last but not least! so there’s quite a bit of discussion going on about what exactly a “rising” chapter actually consists of, lol. Momo is the only other character who’s had one before (at least if you don’t count the movies, and the movie spin-offs). so it’s hard to say for sure with such a small sample size, but if I had to guess, I’d say the “rising” chapters are about characters coming into their own as heroes. Momo’s chapter was all about her letting go of her insecurities and starting to believe in herself. and this chapter was all about Katsuki letting go of both his fear and his pride, and just getting the job done.

in the span of a single chapter, he lets go of every single thing that’s ever held him back. I felt like we really got a glimpse of the hero he can -- and hopefully will, if future!Kacchan the Narrator is anything to go by -- become. he was amazing. he took charge; he came up with a plan that absolutely would have worked if Tomura wasn’t LITERALLY FUCKING UNKILLABLE LULZ; and when that failed, he didn’t hesitate to make the sacrifice play. Bakugou fucking Katsuki, He of Zero Rescue Points, made the fucking sacrifice play. do you even know how much I love that you guys. I love it so, so much.

but of course, when you make the sacrifice play it tends to have the not-so-surprising side effect of getting you ALL FUCKED UP afterwards. so perhaps a less ideal outcome than he would have hoped. but he still did good. and he stopped Deku from getting murdered, and so now hopefully Deku and Shouto can mount some sort of aggrieved revenge counterattack to do their fallen friend justice. time for my other two sons to get to work! maybe Shouto can make Deku some new arms out of ice.

#bnha 285 #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #bakudeku #bnha meta #bakugou meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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thecheesebar · 4 years ago

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Jealous

How I think txt would react: jealous

scenario: you two are out shopping together when some random guy hits on you

Yeonjun

Yeonjun becomes outright jealous, he also becomes pouty and clingy

I feel like he’ll react big, half to put on a show and half to cover up his real feelings

Although he denies his jealousy, it’s very obvious that he is

Throughout the rest of the day he continues to stay by your side and keep you focused on him

After some time though he will relax and apologize for overreacting

This can be annoying but all in all he does love you and completely trusts you and you know that

“Yeonjun~~let me go,” you whine. He shakes his head with a pout, “never, I want all these people to know that you’re mine.”

You quickly hit his shoulder with your free hand and he winces.

“I mean you’re your own person of course, but...I mean...well you know what I mean.”

Soobin

Soobin’ll wonder what made that person think it was right to hit on you while you were with him

Soobin probably would make a joke about it and then pretend to act all hurt before scooping you up in a big hug

Overall he didn’t want to make a big deal out of nothing and prob would even tease you about the whole situation

*brings hand up to mouth in shock* “I can’t believe you’re thinking about being with other guys while being with me.”

“What are you talking about?”

*holds his palm out stopping you* “I can’t even look at you anymore,” he jokes before turning to you with a grin on his face

Beomgyu

Pouty baby

Beomgyu would try to hide his feelings for about .5 seconds but then he’d just tell you how upset he was at that person for doing that

He would become half pouty for the rest of the day and half angry

Not overly angry but he would keep bringing it up, how he just wanted to slap them

After some time, you would eventually tell him to stop thinking about it and focus on the time you’re spending together now

“Oo the next time I see them I’m just gonna,” *starts winding up his fist*

“Beomgyu, it happened a while ago, I appreciate what you’re doing but, let’s not let them ruin our date.”

Taehyun

It can go one of two ways:

Possibility 1:

Doesn’t really get jealous

Like he knows 100% that you and him are meant to be

So he could just brush it off as no big deal

Possibility 2:

(I think this one is more realistic but idk)

Taehyun says he’s not jealous but deep down, he sort of is

For the rest of the day he feels weird and he hates it, he doesn’t know why he feels this way

You eventually catch on and bring it up to him

Taehyun admits to his jealousy and you assure him that he has nothing to worry about and he agrees already knowing that you and him are 100% meant to be

“I don’t like feeling this way.”

“I know but it’s okay to feel a little jealousy,” you say intertwining your fingers.

His lips curl into a smile before you two carry on with your day, forgetting about the whole incident

Hueningkai

After the incident he kind of would laugh and brush it off

You would check on him and ask him if he was ok which he assured you he was

However, I think deep down he’d be the insecure jealous type

Doesn’t really want to be jealous (well who really wants to be)

He wouldn’t let you see that side of him and would just put on a smile

I think though after time of you knowing him well enough, you’d ask him later on if he was bothered by what happened earlier and he probably would then tell you how he’s feeling

“Kai come on, tell me, are you okay?”

He brushes the question off with a smile, “of course.”

“Don’t lie to me. This is the last time I’m asking, are you okay?”

This is something I just put together in the last hour so don’t take it too seriously.

I hope you all have a wonderful day/night ❣️❣️❣️

(Also I’m thinking about maybe starting to do ships soon so keep an eye out for that)

#kpop #kpop reactions #txt #txt kpop #yeonjun #soobin #beomgyu #taehyun #hueningkai #txt reactions #txt scenarios #txt imagines

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bookofmirth · 4 years ago

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What are your thoughts on why Azriel’s shadows disappear around Elain? Cause I see a lot of people claiming it’s romantic that he doesn’t need them with her while others say it hints at something more sinister like Dark!Elain. I can’t see either one tbh cause his shadows are a part of him. He’s had them to protect and guide him so why would they disappear around Elain if she was a threat? And why do they swoon and dance with Gwyn if Az and Elain are possibly romantic? My thought was maybe it’s because Elain and sunshine may be closer than we think which makes shadows disappear, but idk. Like maybe her seer power was tapping into her mate’s power without realizing it cause they’re bound? Is this one of those things where we’re reading too much into it when it’s just SJM just being herself and nothing is that deep? Help me Obi Les Kenobi, you’re my only hope.

I love youuuu I lol’d at the end of this. It got pretty long so part of it is under the cut.

Okay so this is going to be my whole half-assed attempt at talking about his shadows. I’m not going to get too deep with it because we have 3.5 books of his shadows doing their thing and that is TOO MUCH for me to sort through. However, I do have an idea.

(as usual, idfk what other people are saying about this, I’m just basing these ideas off of my reading and my previous thoughts about the characters.)

The first thing that came to mind is that Azriel’s shadows know not only what he needs, but what the people around him need. I know that sjm said that we won’t find out if they are sentient until we get his book story, but I think they are a bit of both - an extension of him, not totally in his control but privy to his needs and thoughts in a way nothing and no one else is.

In acomaf, Azriel tried right away to make human Elain comfortable, for pragmatic reasons - they needed to use her house, and Nesta would be convinced if Elain could be convinced. “Elain can convince anyone to do anything with a few smiles”, Feyre tells Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel right before they all meet for dinner. Enter handsome, non-threatening Azriel, the nice little bat boy who would never hurt a fly (which we know is a lie, but Elain doesn’t need to know that, ever). He creates a persona for her that he know will be convincing. Elain is convinced. She talks to Nesta. They all get the mortal queen meeting Chez Archeron.

Tl;dr for this whole post if no one wants to click is that Azriel can be himself around Gwyn, to the point of sharing personal secrets. He can’t be himself around Elain, and his shadows are a part of him. But read on for more explanation.

During this meeting, Feyre also notes, and is grateful, that Az’s shadows are nowhere to be found. This would fit the idea of them being an extension of him and knowing what he and the people around him need. Fae shadows? Will be creepy to humans. Best put them away.

Okay, just glancing through acomaf I noticed that Elain is getting married to Graysen five months after Feyre returns. That means that she met Az, and then four months later slept with Graysen, and then months after that was still mourning him. Just saying.

So based on that reading, and the way that Azriel generally fades into the background until he is needed to put on one of his “personas”, the shadows play a big role in which “Azriel” people get to see. Azriel met Elain with his shadows hidden because he needed to appear non-threatening. As best they can, they continue to stay away from her when Az is around.

In acosf I know that people are hung up on the fact that the shadows seem to want to protect Elain when she and Nesta are fighting. Now we know that Nesta would never truly, mortally hurt Elain. No matter how mad they are at each other, there was no real danger there. It was either a gross overreaction, or Az is actually overstepping his bounds. He acts the same way around Mor, too.

So people have noted that generally, the shadows disappear around Elain, yes? Elain, light personified, who basks in the sun, whose main personality trait is “likes outside and gardens”, wouldn’t be comfortable if Azriel’s shadows were around constantly. It’s kinda what you said, anon, I think it’s to do with Elain thriving in light, and Azriel’s shadows, which are a huge part of him, threatening that light.

Az and the shadows are aware of that. She’s still the sister of his High Lord and High Lady. She deserves respect. She deserves to be at ease, especially given what she has gone through. It’s a perfectly normal thing for us to have a persona around one person, but then to be open and free and our full selves with other people. I notice this difference in myself even among my friends.

While I don’t think this means that anyone, Gwyn or Elain, are evil, I think that Az cannot be his full self around Elain. He told Gwyn, “I AM a shadowsinger”, which means that there is a whole piece of him that does not feel comfortable in Elain’s presence because it would make her uncomfortable. I don’t think that it’s fear, or her being secretly evil, or anything beyond the shadows’ (and by extension Azriel’s) acknowledgement of the fact that he has a persona or role to play with Elain, and he must maintain that.

Re: Elain - Azriel can’t be himself around her. She doesn’t know the full extent of his job or the torture, and he tries to make his shadows less threatening, too.

Now, Gywn! Our little Carynthian Valkyrie.

I’ve seen an idea that Azriel’s shadows dance to her lure???? Like????? His shadows have done nothing except protect him, and so if there was anything wrong with Gwyn, the shadows would have warned him.

I see the way that the shadows react around Gwyn as indicating basically the opposite of what it indicates for Elain. Azriel is comfortable around her to the point where his shadows don’t feel the need to observe, to be defensive. They are playful, which is something that we never seen from Azriel himself, and so I am now headcanoning that eventually their playfulness will rub off on him?

And then in this scene Az reveals something intensely private about himself. This is about 130 pages before the end of the book and there is never a change in behavior from him or the shadows. (Sidenote, Elain asking Az if he can fly is NOT the same, I love her but what a stupid fucking question, he has giant ass wings. And that’s not something about himself that he would try to guard from the rest of the world, it’s pretty obvious.)

So anyway, I hope that all makes sense. I’ve never really put thought into his shadows before and I based this on what the book says, rather than trying to created some extended interpretation that relies on interpretations of interpretations of theories etc etc. I might add onto it as I think of more things! I could go more into the whole Az persona thing if people want. I’m kinda enjoying this whole being able to share my thoughts about him! Since for the past four years I knew I’d get hate for it.

#anon #azriel #acotar #acosf #gwynriel #antielriel #anti e*riel #i could expand on any of this if y'all want #i feel like people want alternative perspectives on theories #floating around the fandom #and idk all of the theories #but i can tell you how i would read something

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frogtanii · 4 years ago

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hq boys as the crimes they’d commit

warnings: CRIMES, crackfic, probably many typos idk i’m so tired lmaooo, cursing, drinking ??? idfk 😩💦

an: and i did this for what?? inspired by hq hcs royalty @sugardaddykenma @hina-wit-da-glock (AJSKSJ SORRY FOR TAGGING Y’ALL IF YOU SEE THIS, IT IS DEF NOT UP TO PAR W Y’ALLS WORKS ILY)

karasuno

sawamura daichi- insurance fraud!! somehow this is such a dad crime to commit?? dadchi didn’t try (dumb excuse, how do you accidentally commit insurance fraud smh) to commit insurance fraud but at one point in his late-thirties, he was very very broke and was already working as much as possible so, he decided to fake an ankle injury, as you do, and filed a bunch of claims which made him bank. daichi kept doing it until he was able to quit one of his jobs and buy himself a really nice suit and a rolex (uhhh 🥵). he somehow never got caught tho and to this day, none of his friends know how he was able to afford a tesla on a cop’s salary (sorry daichi but acab 😔✨)

sugawara kōshi- child abandonment!! ok you can try and fight me on this but i feel in my bones that suga absolutely despises children. he can tolerate ages 10+ but anything younger than that, he will punt them into the next dimension. the thing is, people just assume he likes kids because of how good he is with his team which is why his aunt begged him to babysit his nephew taro. taro was being an absolute brat when suga took him out for the day and he was 👉👈 this close to snapping. he put taro down for like 3 seconds to pay for their ice cream and when he turned back, the demon spawn was gone. he panicked, running around the park looking for taro when it turns out, taro was just bent down behind the bench. some random karen called the police and suga has never craved murder more.

nishinoya yuu- arson!! you CANNOT tell me nishinoya doesn’t have a ~murder~ playlist that he listens to to get himself hype (me too noya, me too). one night, he got a lil too hype listening to start a riot by duckwrth and watching demolition videos on youtube. he snuck out of his house to an empty shed like 30 minutes away and maybe... lit it on fire while genocide by lil darkie played on a speaker nearby. what he did NOT anticipate was the absolute size of the fire so he freaked out and called the firefighters who promptly called the police. he didn’t want to get grounded so he called daichi to bail him out. daichi still told noya’s parents 😔.

tanaka ryūnosuke- vandalism!! tanaka had been on alt tiktok and saw a group of cool friends spray painting an abandoned building. he thought “that’s cool, lemme do that!” but then he realized he had no friends (AHDGS JK I LOVE TANAKA). he asked nishinoya who was grounded from the arson incident and he knew he definitely couldn’t ask daichi, suga, asahi, or enoshita so he decided to go it alone. that proved to be a MASSIVE mistake. he got the supplies, arrived to the building of his choice (thanks saeko :3), and decided to spray paint a huge p3ni5 in bright red paint. he finished “successfully” and zoomed back home. what he didn’t realize with his two-and-a-half braincells is that he signed his glorious piece with his full name. the cops were at his house the next morning...🧍

hinata shoyō- forgery!! hinata did NOT think that forgery was even a crime. how was he supposed to know that he wasn’t allowed to copy his mom’s signature on a permission form! all he wanted was to go to an overnight training camp 😿

kageyama tobio- attempted murder!! kageyama swears it sounds worse than was and he is absolutely incorrect. what happened was so much worse. he and hinata were having a competition to see who could hold their breath the longest underwater (you can’t tell me they haven’t done some dumbass shit like this) and kageyma lost almost instantly (he has the tiny lungs of an asthmatic). he didn’t want hinata to notice so he held hinata’s head under the water for like 10 seconds. suga walked in though, saw hinata thrashing around in the water and immediately called the police. kageyama never forgave him.

tsukishima kei- cyberbullying!! first of all, i had no idea you could get arrested for cyber bullying!? that being said, neither did tsukishima who spent 80% of his time making fun of people online (and on his real account!! bold). eventually one of the people he bullied (hinata) reported him on instagram and his very lame account was deleted (pls don’t bully people online 😤).

yamaguchi tadashi- shoplifting!! andjksh this is so funny because this scenario has happened to me and i can just SEE this happening to poor tadashi. yamaguchi gets super late night cravings (and usually tsukki will walk with him at like 3 am 🥺 nEWAYS) so he’ll sneak out and walk to the mini-mart near his house. one night, he was so tired but also super hungry so he went onto his nightly routine and basically sleepwalked into the store. he picked out his favorite chips and candy bar (which are sour cream&onion lays and milky ways in case you were wondering 😌✨) and just... walked out the store without paying. the store clerk was mysteriously missing so yamaguchi made it all the way home, ate half the bag of chips and passed out without realizing what he’d done. once he did, he cried for 2 hours straight.

nekoma

kuroo tetsurō- telemarketing fraud!! kuroo originally did telemarketing fraud as a joke?? like he was trying to prank call someone pretending that they had lost their information and they actually gave it to him??? he was mildly concerned but even more excited. he did it over and over again but he never used the info for anything. to this day, kuroo literally has a notebook full of credit card numbers and bank account passwords but he refuses to use it because he believes it’s ✨wrong✨(but it isn’t wrong to take all that information in the first place under false pretenses, not realizing that once people find out, they are forced to close credit cards and accounts but go off self righteous king). once he brought the book up to kenma and he offered to sell it on the dark web. now kuroo feels less bad about what he’s done! :D

kozume kenma- computer crime!! pfttt this one seems kinda obvious but what do you expect from kenma :). he spends so much time on the internet, he’s definitely picked up some less than legal skills that still help him now 👀. kenma did little mini crimes like getting into other people’s wifi but his crowning achievement was when he hacked into the minneapolis pd website and had it so when you opened the page, a black lives matter screen came up. he never told anyone that it was him who did it but he thinks it’s the best he’s ever done.

yaku morisuke- racketeering!! yaku, the feral king, ran an underground gambling ring in the basement of nekoma (do they have basements?? who knows! i don’t!) during his third year. the only reason it didn’t get shut down was because coach nekomata took a portion of yaku’s profits whenever he won (which was literally all the time). everyone on the team has lost money to him which is why they never play with him anymore. they won’t even let yaku play monopoly 😔.

haiba lev- indecent exposure!! poor lev’s head is so empty, he tends to fall for whatever pranks his senpai’s do to him. this time kuroo had somehow convinced him that in order to grow his schlong, he had to run outside naked for 10 minutes because the moonlight had special growing properties. lev was a lil scared ngl because he was already superrr tall and didn’t need to grow his height (or his dick ((boy is hung)) but poor lev is insecure) but he did it anyway. long story short, an old woman saw him parading around the neighborhood naked and called el policia. 0/10 dick did NOT grow and had to spend a night in jail naked 😿

aoba johsai

oikawa tōru- prostitution!! KAKKAKA iwazumi made fun of oikawa for being so shitty and said that he couldn’t pick up anyone if he tried. flattykawa took this as a personal challenge and went out onto the street, asking people if they’d have sex with him. with the way he was asking (and the way he was dressed), people assumed he was a paid w h o r e and someone eventually reported him. iwazumi had to pick oikawa up from the station- he never let him live this one down.

iwaizumi hajime- battery!! it wasn’t technically battery but oikawa is a lil bitch and overreacts (at least in his words -_-). the amount of times iwa-chan has beat the absolute shit out of oikawa is uNREAL. he just can’t handle the stupidity sometimes so he just smacks the crap outta him. not for real for real but the way oikawa reacts, you’d think a murder was occurring. one time, shittykawa screeched so loud, they got a noise complaint -_- hajime hates it in these streets.

matsukawa issei & hanamaki takahiro- conspiracy!! issei and hiro have a secret blog where they discuss conspiracy theories and such but one day, hiro found an article that explained how jfk’s death was an inside job. he sent it to issei who began to theorize how HE’D do it. that devolved into a massive thread on their blog of how’d they murder a president which blew up and caught the attention of the cia who sent the a letter telling them to quietly delete the blog. they did because they were terrified but they kept the letter and now it’s framed in issei’s apartment.

kyōtani kentarō- assault!! baby is an angry little boy but for all the right reasons. he was at a bar (when he’s all grown up, duh) and he spotted an absolute drunk creep hitting on a girl who clearlyyyy did not reciprocate his feelings. kyōtani, being the respectful king that he is, went over to the guy, pulled him by the jacket and beat. the. shit. out of him. while the bartender was happy with the fact that the creep was out, he was not impressed with the damage to his bar. he just sent kyōtani out who casually adjusted his leather jacket and rings, and hopped on his motorcycle to ride away into the night. i am the FATTEST simp for this man ONG 🥴

shiratorizawa

ushijima wakatoshi- stalking!! poor ushijima has no idea how intimidating he can be. he was on a train late at night after practice and the woman sitting across from him left her purse sitting on the seat. being the gentleman that he is, he took the purse and followed her to return it. the only problem is that the closer he got, the faster she ran and when he tried to speak (yknow with his scary, deep, baritone voice), the woman screeched and called the cops on him because he was a “strange, big man who was following her home.” when the police showed up, ushijima was painfully confused and just held up this tiny ass purse in his massive hands. the cops laughed.

tendō satori- ???!! no one knows what crimes (or how many 😳) tendō has committed but each of his teammates have different ideas- ushijima: “i don’t believe tendou is capable of committing any sort of felony. well, maybe murder”; semi: “of COURSE he’s capable of crimes??! do you know how many times i’ve seen him come into the dorm with a suspicious stain of red on his sweater?? *shudders* if i end up dead, tendō did it...” in actuality, the only crime tendō has committed is ~drugs~ but he’s not bouta tell his friends that.

goshiki tsutomu- would be a VICTIM!! my baby tsutomu would NEVER commit a crime!!! i love this man with my everything and the only crime he’s committed is being too damn cute 😤🥺

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ruanbaijie · 3 years ago

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The whole thing with ZZH really hurts. I guess it turns out the “nazi salute” was actually a movie thing not an actual salute. And in the photo at the shrine it doesn’t really seem like he knows where he’s at. Doesn’t excuse it but this seems like such an extreme overreaction (at least to a westerners perspective; however idk if most in China would definitely know the shrine if they saw it - like I have no idea). I guess I’m trying to figure out, is what he did really so bad? Is it bad I still hope things turn around for him (I know they probably won’t but maybe the boycott will be lifted and he’ll be forgiven?) It just hurts to see someone rise so quickly and then fall so hard over a mistake. I guess his fans are still supportive but they can’t do much with all his social media taken down. I know you’re Chinese diaspora but living in Asia so I had thought to ask you… please feel free to ignore this because it is such an uncomfortable topic and you’ve already done so much giving a rundown of what happened.

oh yeah I did see that twitter thread on the gesture. maybe he didn't know that the shrine in the background of the selfie he was taking was yasukuni? maybe he just really thought the flowers were nice? I've never been there myself so I wouldn't know if the vicinity of the shrine has any signs saying its name (logically speaking, it... should???). maybe he really was ignorant about it back then and maybe he really was taking photos and posting them without actually thinking, but the logical part of me is finding it hard to believe he didn't know where he was. it's such a known (famous/ infamous depending on whom you ask) shrine especially in this part of the world, could he, as someone who had been exposed to mainland chinese education and learned about its history, really have been in the vicinity of such an infamous (to the chinese) shrine while travelling (aren't maps a thing?) and not known about it?

if you're looking at this from the standpoint of wwii and history, I wouldn't call it an overreaction. not only did the japanese army commit war crimes (emotional/ moral aspect), the japanese state has also yet to apologise and compensate for what they had done, and even if apologies had been issued by individuals in the past, they differed in terms of degree and formality, depending on the japanese word used to issue said apology (political aspect). so what he did, posing with a V-sign and a smile in front of the shrine, naturally didn't sit well with many in mainland china. I wouldn't say it's a like for like comparison with someone posing with a V-sign and smiling at the holocaust memorial, but it highlights how inappropriate it is (whatever the intention), all the more so because the chinese-japanese case has the added political aspect not just from the japanese side but also from how the chinese state has framed its wwii narrative (sociopolitical aspect) - but this is a whole other topic altogether I won't go into this and I won't place any judgement on it.

what I do think is an overreaction is how he got erased and removed so rapidly. he barely had enough time to explain himself, anger and outrage consumed rational thought, and consequences got meted out even before judgement - judgement that also considered the other forces at play - could be properly undertaken.

I feel that (and it’s probably obvious by now in my other replies) yes, what he did was bad. but I’m equally perturbed by the maliciousness behind this targeted attack and by how swiftly mob justice was carried out. whatever happened to innocence until proven guilty and punishment fitting the crime?

if he was really ignorant and an idiot (and not a japanophile political traitor as many seem to be accusing him of being), I do hope things turn around for him too, or at least that he gets a proper chance to explain himself besides that apology he had written under pressure from all the criticism, even if he is never able to continue his entertainment career in mainland china again. and you’re right, it does hurt to see that happening, especially since we are all human and make dumb mistakes. if there is one reason I hope for him to come back though, it’s that to prove that he wouldn’t fall victim to the maliciousness of the anti-fans in c-ent (I think there were a couple of posts here on tumblr about the malicious media). but as I remember mentioning elsewhere, it’s a long shot because it has dragged in such a heavy, historical, and political topic that has got to do with chinese pride and psyche.

tbh I think my opinion on this was shaped more by what I had studied and written in uni, and not so much my identity as a member of the chinese diaspora in a chinese-majority country in asia. my identity and background are probably why I’m familiar with and understand the seriousness of the issue (of wwii war crimes and historical baggage), but what I learned and wrote for in uni also taught that history is what we write it to be and isn’t as objective as it sounds. for instance, it’s impossible not to talk about nationalism and politics when wwii memories get involved here because how we remember it today depends on how the state (when I say state here, I mean the central government and not a geographical state) has shaped these narratives in order to achieve certain goals. it’s not a bad thing and every state does it differently (singapore, in comparison to china at least, really downplays it),

asdfsdlkds sorry for rambling tho I got kinda carried away. but as always, I’m only one person in a community that consists of millions and that is no way a monolith. this is just my opinion and there are definitely (even solely on this site) members of the chinese diaspora who have extremely differing opinions from mine! nevertheless, I do appreciate it when those who aren’t part of the chinese diaspora and/ or those who aren’t aware of the significance of the place asking about it instead of glossing over with “it’s just a shrine”

#*replies #*ramblings #zhang zhehan

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elizabethrobertajones · 4 years ago

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Hello there. I have a question (more like a thesis): What would have happened if Cas told the Truth anywhere between season 7 and 15? Do you think it would have had the same impact on Dean? Logically speaking Cas could have told him anytime.

Oh gosh, yes. I mean Dean’s reaction in season 15 is still the best it could have been really :P He was in the best place and most accepting of himself and he still had a BSOD for a moment and then Cas had to shove him away so he could go die... (Assuming you take the on screen boring presentation of what happened as canon and not throw in the reciprocation, tears, pull in for a kiss, etc that we know exists either in our hearts or on Jackles’ phone.)

I’ve been thinking about this and the parameters we’d have to apply if we were gonna get something like the show being self-healing back to its self as we know it but we were allowed a confession. Also the show has to be as punishing as ever. So these are my personal theses on each season...

Season 7 the confession would have to be after Cas comes back, and everything in 7x17 that looked like Dean was jealous of Daphne and Meg textually was meant to be read that way in the set up for the confession. To make it the most painful obviously we still get Cas exactly as he was all through to the end of the season and he never really says anything too different but then right when they’re having the “cursed or not” discussion he’d bust out of nowhere that he supposes it is inevitable Dean would talk him into going on this dangerous mission to get Dick because obviously Cas loves him. And Dean, who is in a weirdly zen sort of place in the remaining minutes of season 7 after Bobby’s send off and final words that helped him go make up with Cas, is in a similarly season 15 oddly okay spot, mental health wise. At least. COMPARED TO ALL THE REST OF SEASON 7. But I still personally have always read it as a genuinely good place for him that could have endured much longer if not for *gestures everything that happened after stabbing Dick* and obviously making up with Cas was step one and a huge part of his process.

(idk if you’ve noticed but 7x23 pretty much has no Sam and Dean interaction after Bobby’s send off, and their last good broments are really scarce; it feels sort of natural for abrupt calamity and no time for teary farewells in a season with a strong commentary on grief, which also hyperfocuses the attention on Dean n Cas there.)

So I think Dean would maybe be stunned but maybe quirk a sceptical smile like “He can’t mean it like that and anyway he’s currently coo-coo, this doesn’t mean anything hahaha oh Cas :)))” and then idk shake his head and move the story on and Cas just turns one longing look after him like “dammit that didn’t work out like planned”

Anyway then the exact plot beats of 7x23 follow, exactly as seen on your screens, but we’re left going into season 8 and Carver era with Dean far far more messed up about Cas and it can force clarification in 8x02 in Purgatory where Cas is entirely adamant he meant what he meant and furious at Dean for being mad at him and Dean’s mad at Cas for all the season 8 reasons so they continue angsting at each other but Benny’s reaction shots are just 10x funnier. This is followed by Dean’s reciprocation of “I love you” instead of “I need you” in the crypt scene in 8x17 and from there honestly it’s been built up into canon in such a way that the emotional arc of the show has to go off the wheels and I can’t keep to the self-healing model to continue following the “real” plot and contain this much raw power.

Coincidentally, if the first confession is in season 8, it would be “what broke the connection” after a season 8 where nothing was different up until that point. Cas flaps off while Dean is still processing that the answer was “You. I love you.” and Dean is left yelling at the empty crypt like “What the hell, Cas?!”

Then he’s as mad at him as he was in canon except instead of being borderline a really bad overreaction into his anger phase which we have to weather as miserable fans tethered to this ship who know sometimes Dean gets mad and yells at Cas for no reason, he’s reacting proportionately. It’s always seemed like 8x22 only makes sense if Dean is furious at Cas for confessing and fleeing except, obviously, in our “”real”” canon, it can only be like Cas confessed and Dean took it that way and also felt embarrassed how far he went with his own feelings only for Cas to run.

This would make the bar scene with the cupids in 8x23 make a lot more sense too, and after they get the cupid bow Dean’s going to turn to Cas and give him a nervous smile, and then - Naomi flaps in like she does and distracts them away from reciprocation.

I think this one could go long - maybe even season 13 Cas being dead and Dean being like “FUCK I never got a chance to work things out with him” and 13x06 onwards is where we get any actual work on the ship, because Carver era was so determined to be emotionally gruelling and unsatisfying and relentless from one issue to the next. And the confessions are so bound up specifically in the moments of miscommunication or failed attempts, cut off conversations etc that whether Destiel is canon or not, they’re never gonna get to talk it out under those conditions. Cas is only explicitly the grieving wife and jealous ex to Crowley’s smug take over of Dean’s affections rather than subtextually.

The season 9 confession... I feel like we’d come perilously close to the Monkey Paw curse we once envisioned of Buckleming making it canon because they love jumping the gun on plot points and making them too obvious. So the end of 9x03, Cas is really blatantly angling to come in with a big “Hey I’m human can I live in the Bunker look at me I learned to do The Sex can we do it now” kind of vibe. All the enthusiasm he was giving to eating that burrito in the background while “Zeke” was trying to get him kicked out, but with lusting over Dean :P

If we avoid that we can leap to Mr Bobo Berens and his first episode, and have this thing handled by a pro, as it’s already very much about Cas as a homeless queer man with a bad ex he still loves rolling into town where he’s just trying to make a new life and play straight - I mean human - for his own survival. I suspect the confrontation with Iphraim would make it really obvious that Cas didn’t just want to live as a human but had an eye for living as a human with Dean, and then he’d attempt a confession right before Dean would accidentally talk over, like, the L in “love” honestly, to tell him that sorry things do still stand that you can’t come back with me. Leaves Cas utterly devastated but Dean is none the wiser and he drives off and Cas pines piningly at the pine trees in his Gas n Sip.

Again the end of season probably would force the real confession, since there’s a ready made moment in 9x22 where Hannah tries to force Cas to kill Dean and he gives it all up for one man. Cas can just lower that knife and be like, “No, I love him,” talking to his shoes and Hannah rather than meeting Dean’s eyes. Mark of Cain Dean is fuuuucked up at that point but we still get the moment where Dean carries Cas’s bag into the bunker and sits down with him and tries to care about his health and now also this confession. Sussing out what the heck is up with Cas, and maybe he looks like he’s playing it cool and is still so messed up but Cas is vulnerable, and finally Dean starts to reach across the library table for his hand, and it’s a moment where maybe things could have started to go better for them...... Cue Gadreel walking into the library, Dean going feral, blah blah demon!Dean, blah blah explicitly stated Drowley, blah blah muuuch healing and Cas giving Dean a wide berth for a lil while. Though, in this scenario, 10x22 is far worse but has the reverse crypt scene moment, so Dean can be more obviously unable to kill Cas because he loves him, and then he walks out, followed by season 11 and Cas being returned to them. Unfortunately. Yep. Another finger curls on the Monkey Paw... 11x03 by Buckleming would absolutely be where Destiel goes undeniably canon as it is their first real interactions post Mark of Cain. Our only consolation - directed by Jensen Ackles.

Season 10 confession, hm. Poor Cas. He has the option of 10x03, of confessing and then immediately apologising and walking off to handle stuff with Hannah (thanks Buckleming!) or the Burger Date, where Dean may be slightly less stunned stupid but still likely to laugh it off and not believe it. There’s not much heavy tension between them most of the season so it’s possible that the only time Cas would really get is to confess in 10x22 while telling Dean that he would have to watch him murder the world, and that would suck because I love you. At which point the story dictates that Dean beats Cas to paste so it’s a very bad look. Season 10 destiel confession is the worst.

Season 11 may be better because Cas has options to be jealous of Crowley and Dean’s connection to Amara multiple times and then Casifer happens and that can really play up things in a season where a confession is coming.

I think the Beer Run in 11x23 might be the only viable place, where Dean grabs Cas and takes him out for that drive for last drinks before the end of the world. Cas gets the “you’re our brother” thing and just lays into Dean with the certainty of someone who knows this is it - now or nothing - with “You know that’s crap, Dean. You wait until the end of the world and you can’t even say it. Well I can; I love you.”

Cue awkward tension, well-placed interrupting Moose, and then the world very much not ending so that when Dean n Cas hug and kiss in front of Mary in 12x01. Well. There’s even more explaining to do to her. Since we’ve made it to Dabb era, I believe any confessions from this point onwards can just slot into the show as we got it from there since it’s entirely compatible to start season 12 assuming Dean n Cas are literally married and never be contradicted by the text in their behaviour. But since we’ve had canon Destiel since whenever, obviously the final episodes are good instead of. That.

Season 12... Going to have to go with the first sniff of true canon coming in Lily Sunder with just a few lines leaning even further in the Cas’s Angel Family Are Homophobic Assholes metaphor, leaving Cas’s relationship with Dean even more live wire exposed. Followed by The Mixtape Scene where Cas is going to confess to Dean and get him startled up out of his seat, accidentally knocking the mixtape to the floor and for a moment it’s like, did he throw it is he mad? but then he’s smooching Cas, fade to black, return to scheduled programming but the whole line about Cas stealing the Colt from under Dean’s pillow makes fuckin sense, as well as the fall out argument and how mad Dean was at Cas followed by how devastated he was at Cas’s death. This just means Dabb era continues as planned except we get a kiss in 13x06 under that big glowy cross, and some more smooching here and there when things are good from then on.

Season 13... Hm. Cas has to do the confessing and I don’t think he’d throw that at Dean on return from death so unlike if Dean was the one who was being made to confess obviously the aforementioned glowy cross scene obviously would be it for him... Cas could keep that bottled up much longer, especially as he has so much to do with Jack this season. It’s entirely possible we go through the whole season and then Cas lobs it at Dean as a final card when he’s making his Michael decision and we actually see the scene that we didn’t get, where Cas has to watch Dean getting possessed. Except Dean is like, tearful and furious like why would you tell me that now, and anyway i’m doing this for you as well dumbass but fuck you but also how dare you anyway I need to be an archangel now and save our - your - son, bye. Cue Cas sitting there not just in total horror at what happened but also kicking himself for fucking up the moment :P I guess this way at least we can have that moment where Dean is un-Michaeled and tells Cas he’s going to shower and finger guns at him, and now we can have Cas wordlessly and furiously follow him.

Season 14, we get Cas at Rocky’s bar confessing to Dean while figment!Pamela cheers the whole thing on. If there was EVER a time to use the power of love to snap Dean out of it, Cas upsetting his cosy routine with “this isn’t real, I’M NOT HERE IN YOUR FANTASY” is absolutely the time to pull a reverse crypt scene which has such low stakes in terms of neither of them needing to punch each other when Michael is an external aggressor.

My ONLY issue with this is that Sam has to witness the whole thing and we would get reaction shots and I am a weak mortal who will start cackling at them when I’m supposed to be having the transcendent moment of canon and the whole thing would be ruined just because of the way Jared gurns when doing reactions to dean n cas interacting. Wow thanks. Thanks a lot.

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heretherebedork · 4 years ago

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I don’t know if you’ve watched the last ep of y destiny yet but when you do I would love to hear your thoughts on that entire montaem role play sequene, it felt a little…odd? like it’s obvious they’re supposed to be role playing but it really puts mon in such a negative light with the whole restricting team from seeing his friends for months on ends and choosing his outfit and just the way he seems to be holding team’s sexual history above his head all the time…

…and it gives the impression team just goes along with it bc he still feels guilty about how he wronged mon in the past. I don’t know if I’m overreacting bc later on in the ep they’re both back to acting “normal” so it might’ve just been a strictly bedroom thing they tried out but idk the dialogue definitely made me uncomfortable, what do you think?

So!

I do have thoughts on that!

Because, in my opinion, it's all roleplay and what it is, specifically, is Dom/sub roleplay. With Mon as the Dom and Team as the sub. And they're both into it despite the protests Team puts up.

I think it's all been agreed upon (at least vaguely) before they do that. And that a lot of the 'restrictions' are also part of the roleplay. It's a story. Because, think about it, we see Team out with his friends and in normal clothing just a few moments later in PuthKaeng's scene.

So I'm assuming that the entire thing is an act between them. Maybe when Mon feels insecure or when Team feels nervous or when they both just feel the need... they agree on a night and an idea and then they do what they need to do to feel comfortable with each other.

For me, it works very well as that. Mon and Team both had insecurities and worries and fears and this acting, this control and agreement of control, could easily help them both work through it.

I think that Team likes to use this as a chance to reassure Mon of his love but also to remind himself of why he chose this, why he decided to stop being a player and to love Mon so fully.

And now Mon it's a chance to hear all that love but also to make sure Team knows how much he's loved and how much Mon wants the world to know they're dating, Look at what Team was dressed in at that bar! It was the biggest 'this is MINE' marking from Mon that could ever be done.

I like the idea that it's a D/s relationship to help give Mon agency but also to give Team a chance to be 'owned'.

Team might have looked a little sheepish at his outfit, but if my headcanon follows then he enjoys that. He likes being a little silly and dressed by Mon and marked by Mon's smiley faces.

And the later outfit, where he's all in yellow but dressed normally otherwise?

It makes sense. He's not in the roleplay and so it's not as extreme but he definitely likes wearing clothing that leaves nothing to the imagination about whose he is.

So.

Yes.

Dom/sub roleplay with Mon as the Dom and Team as the sub and I honestly really like it.

#monteam #y destiny #y-destiny #y destiny meta #y-destiny meta #thaibl meta #thai bl meta #making unhealthy things vaguely healthy since 2021 #that's me #anon asks #anon answers #i do have thoughts about everything

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jungkooks-left-tiddie · 4 years ago

Text

I think I’m in love | knj.

Summary: Your new internship sucked ass. It was fun, but exhausting at the same time. It also didn’t help that uni was also stressing you out. Amidst all this pressure and stress, perhaps a midnight walk on the Han River with your crush Kim Namjoon is what you needed all along. A/N: so I saw this namjoon picture circulating around stan twitter and my 3am sleep deprived ass decided to write a Drabble. 1 hour and 2k words later, here we are.

Words: 2k (maybe more idk I didn’t count)

Warnings: grammar issues, 4am writing

Song rec: I think I’m in love (kat dahlia)

———————————————————————————

“You’ve never been to the Han River at night?” Screams of outrage filled the silent room as you shook your head.

“I’ve never had the need to,” You frowned, feeling a little lost. “Plus it’s not like my parents would have let me.”

“Have you ever heard of something called sneaking out?” Jimin continued berating you and you couldn’t help but feel a little upset.

“Look, I know it may seem like Jimin-hyung is overreacting, but he’s not.” Jungkook clarified and made you feel even worse. “Han River is amazing at night.” The 3 boys nodded as if it were a common fact.

“You guys aren’t making this any better, y’know.” You frowned yet again.

They continued describing how mesmerising the river looked at night and you could do nothing but frown and continue doing your work.

Unbeknownst to you, Kim Namjoon kept sneaking glances at you from where he was seated. He wasn’t even trying to be subtle and that got on Yoongi’s nerves.

“Just ask them out, for fucks sake.” Yoongi massaged his eyes as Seokjin and Hoseok tried not to laugh.

“What do you mean?” Namjoon pretended to not know what Yoongi’s words meant and noted down a few more points for his assignment.

“Please tell me Namjoon did not just ask that,” Yoongi took a deep breath before proceeding, “Look, we all know that you have the most obvious crush on (Y/N) so just go and confess ok?”

It was true. Ever since you’d moved into the flat right opposite to his, Namjoon’s been talking about you non-stop.

But he continued to pretend like he didn’t hear Yoongi.

Seokjin and Hoseok, who were tired of their constant bickering and Namjoon’s denial, decided to take matters into their own hands.

“Yoongi’s right Joon,” Seokjin shared a mischievous glance with Hoseok before continuing, “If you don’t do anything, we will.” He declared, standing up and making his way to where you were sitting with Hoseok following in suit.

Namjoon started panicking even more when Yoongi decided to join Jin and Hobi as well, because he knew; oh he knew that they would not hold back. So he quickly ran after them and tried to convince them to back out.

“Guys, come on!” He begged, “I promise I will ask them out one day, but please please don’t do anything now,” It was too late now. Taehyung had spotted the lot of them walking up to your table.

“(Y/N), look!” You winced as Jungkook elbowed you harshly.

“What, dumbass--” Kim Namjoon was standing in front of you.

For a moment, you felt your entire surroundings become a blur and you could only see Kim Namjoon in all his 6ft glory. And as soon as it came, it was gone because you had to remind yourself that people were watching.

“Jin-hyung! What’s up?” Jungkook hits the other man’s arm in greeting.

“Stop hitting me, punk,” They started doing their own thing again, forcing Hoseok to take over.

“We heard you guys talk something about rivers and we were bored so we decided to join lmao,” Hoseok dragged one of the chairs from a nearby table and slumped.

“Damn, I didn’t realise we were that loud,” Tae rubbed his neck sheepishly.

“It was necessary though! I mean it's not everyday we come to know that our best friend never visited the Han River at night,” All eyes were on you after Jimin’s statement.

“Wait (Y/N) really?” You nodded reluctantly. “I lived pretty far away plus I had strict parents so…” You hoped they would drop the topic here, and were extremely thankful when they did.

“Well, I'm sure you’ll have plenty more opportunities to visit. So don’t worry!” Seokjin cheered you up a little.

Your phone started ringing from nowhere and apparently your boss wanted you to collect some files to write a report on from the main office so you quickly informed your friends and bade them farewell.

Collecting the files wasn't the hard part. The hard part was walking home with no one except your thoughts to keep you company. You thought about what your friends said about the Han river and decided to make a trip if you were done with your work.

It sucked to admit it, but they were probably right. The Han River must be really mesmerising for them to talk about it so much and you found yourself suddenly envious of the rest of them.

Night strolls weren’t an option in your old neighbourhood; and though the new one wasn’t bad, you were busy with both uni and your internship. I mean being able to read your fanfics itself was a luxury and these hoes expected you to take a leisure stroll? Keep dreaming luv <3

You said all that to say, but you were still thinking about going there tonight. It seemed like immense fun and plus, it would be your first midnight stroll. You just hoped, with all your might, that you would be able to finish the work as soon as possible.

Lo and behold! 3 cups of coffee later, you were done!

To celebrate, you blasted some music on the speakers and danced along to the lyrics, bopping your head along to the beats.

Namjoon looked at your dancing form through his window. You seemed like you were having a lot of fun, he concluded, an amused grin now apparent on his face. Judging by the way you seemed to have fun, Namjoon concluded that you must've been done with the work you mentioned you had.

Namjoon did not know the practicality of this, but he had a very random idea to take you on a riverside date. And you know what? He was going to do it. Fuck Yoongi, he’s going to prove it to the rest of them that he, indeed, could ask you out.

And so he took out a random book and wrote a message on it, Taylor Swift’s You Belong With Me style.

He did not know where this sudden confidence came from, but he took a small pebble from his rock collection and chucked it across to make sure it hit your window (yes, he was careful not to break it) and waited for your response.

You, on the other hand, were confused. Your mini-dance session was interrupted by a clink! Against your window and you went to check for the source of the sound; only to be met with Kim Namjoon’s waving form.

You panicked internally, not knowing what to do in front of the man you obviously had a thing for. And you were even more confused when he held up a paper with something on it.

“Do you want to go on a riverside walk with me?” It read.

Apparently, you could not form words so that’s fun =D. Instead, you chose to stand there like 🧍🏽and just nod in response. Namjoon gave you a beautiful dimpled smile with a thumbs up before closing the curtains to his window and switching his lights off.

It was only now that you were hit with the epiphany that you were going on what was essentially a midnight date with the Kim Namjoon and boy, oh boy, you were most certainly NOT prepared for it.

Rushing to your closet, you threw on your most comfortable pair of outerwear (and of course made sure you looked presentable) before chewing like 5 breath mints and grabbing your scarf (and your apartment keys) to go and meet Namjoon.

“Hey,” He smiled.

“Hey,” You replied, still breathless.

“Ready to go?” Namjoon asked and you nodded in response. You noticed that he hid something in his bag but made no comment and instead fell into a steady pace beside him.

The walk to the river was not awkward at all, thanks to Namjoon’s ability to radiate comfort. Which was a blessing cause otherwise you would definitely have embarrassed yourself by now.

You didn't even realise that you’d reached your destination until you noticed the numerous cars and lights.

“Woah.” You had no words for the sight in front of you.

“It's beautiful, isn't it?” Namjoon chuckled and sighed, “I love coming here. It never gets old.” He stares off into the distance.

You get it now. The way the bridge lit up, the view, the vibe, everything. It was enthralling. And the fact that it was Namjoon who was with you made this 1000 times better.

You were so absorbed with admiring the view in front of you that your dumbass didn't notice Namjoon staring at you. There was just something so absolutely adorable and endearing in the way your eyes lit up and seemed to sparkle at the sight in front of the both of you.

“Namjoon, look!” You grab the sleeve of his hoodie, “Purple lights!” He quickly snaps a picture of not only the scenery in front of him, but also you. You who were so excited to see this view at midnight for the first time.

You spent a bit more time admiring the view, goofing off, and taking pictures before finally deciding that it was time for the both of you to head back. As upset as you were, you took comfort in knowing that you could visit this place more often hereon.

The conversation on the walk back home was one that you would never forget.

“No way… Here I was thinking that alpha and beta were just limited to greek alphabet and math,” The look of horror on Namjoon’s face when you explained omegaverse was something that you desperately wanted a picture of, and regretted not taking one.

“It’s a thing that definitely exists, and though I may not be a fan of it; I think a lot of people are into that kind of thing.”

“Interesting,” He comments, pausing. “Say, would the title ‘My Alpha mate’ qualify as omegaverse?” His sudden question caught you off guard.

“I think so… Why do you ask?”

“I think… I think Yoongi-hyung is into omegaverse.” Even though you did not mean to, you burst out in laughter. Yoongi being into reading stories centering around dom alpha mating rituals was something you never needed to know but were glad you did.

You continued explaining the various fanfiction tropes to the other male, especially your favourite ones.

“Oh, I once remember reading this amazing Zuko, Sokka and Suki fic somewhere and I genuinely think that it should be nominated for the Nobel prize,” Namjoon looked at you affectionately while you rambled about the plot of the story.

“And at the end--” You paused, looking behind you and caught Namjoon standing with a camera in his hands.

“Sorry, you just looked so beautiful, I had to take a picture.” You were sure you looked like the capillaries in your face burst.

There were a lot of things Namjoon was proud about, and making you blush that hard was definitely on his top 5.

“L-let’s go, dork.” You try your best to brush it off but KIM NAMJOON JUST COMPLIMENTED YOU STFU OK YOU WERE ALLOWED TO CRY.

Anyways, y’all reached your apartment complex sooner than the both of you wanted, and honestly? Neither of you wanted the other to go.

“So,” “Actually--” You both begin at the same time. Flustered, you gestured to Namjoon to go ahead with what he wanted to say and assured him that what you wanted to say wasn’t of any major importance.

“I actually bought something for you,” He took a small bag out of his backpack and handed it to you. “It’s a collection of poems and short stories that i wrote for-for you,” He flushed and avoided making eye-contact with you.

“Namjoon, I--”

“You don’t need to read it, but I just wanted to give them to you because… because I really like you.” It was your turn to blush (again).

“Of course I will read it, you idiot. I’m literally in love with you, what makes you think I won't?” Namjoon widened his eyes and proceeded to smile bashfully, pulling you into a tight hug.

“You have no idea how happy I am right now,” He admits, swaying you around in his arms. You nuzzle deeper into his warm embrace and whisper--

“Thank you for everything, Joonie.”

#bts namjoon #kim namjoon #namjoon fluff #namjoon imagine #namjoon #namjoon fanfic #namjoon x reader #namjoon x you #bts fluff #namjoon scenarios #im in love with this man

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hiruseki · 3 years ago

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I saw a lot of Batarou arts, and a lot of them depict MB being significantly shorter than Garou, sometimes by half a head. Isn’t this inaccurate? Idk where the news of MB being 5’6” came from but Murata has consistently drawn them as being around the same height. You can see it clearly during their fight together. And MB doesn’t wear high platform shoes or anything either. I find that very odd and forced it’s like they tried to make MB seems as small and frail as possible so the big bad possessive jealous bf Garou can protect him. Maybe I’m overreacting but I hate it when it’s obvious they’re reinforcing some sort of stereotypes w the top or the bottom. MB is not smaller or shorter than Garou by any huge margin, he might a lil shorter but he’s just as buff. Garou might even be on the leaner side bc that’s how his techniques prefer. MB is more abt brute force whereas Garou is abt grace and techniques.

Sorry for the rant.

so metal bat is canonically 5'6 according to the hero encyclopedia, and garou is just shy of 5'10. so there is a height difference, but it's definitely not as dramatic as a lot of fanart makes it out to be. garou is a tiny bit shorter than genos, for context. murata is extraordinarily bad at consistent sizing and he readily acknowledges this, so i get why their size difference is equally incoherent in fanart.

MY issue, which i think is probably more what you're getting at, is the very obvious heteronormative coding going on. at risk of digressing into an essay, i will simply say that fandom is infamous for having reductive takes on same gender relationships for a reason.

and it is really disappointing to see content that reduces characters to generic tropes. metal bat being short, but solid and strong, and prone to brute force is interesting. garou being lithe, taller, and graceful despite his brutality is also interesting. hate it when i see people erase those facets of their characters,

obligatory to each their own, you do you, etc. but i feel you.

#asks

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unfortunatelysirius · 5 years ago

Text

I love you, but I’m scared // Remus Lupin [Marauders Era]

「 ❁ 」PROMPT 「 ❁ 」

Y/N finds herself feeling non-platonic things for long-time best friend Remus. At risk of losing six and a half years of friendship, what can she do?

「 ❁ 」AUTHOR’S NOTE 「 ❁ 」

BET YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DISAPPEAR OFF THE GLOBE FOR THE NEXT THREE MONTHS HAHAHAHA BITCH U THOUGHT, in serious news idk how I feel about this so uhhhh feedback???? also this was like 2650 words idk why I wrote so much. hope it isn't trash!!!! :D fill the inbox with some love (and some requests wink wink) and have a happy weekend!!!

It was past curfew at Hogwarts castle, the moon twinkling brightly in the sky outside, and to most students, it was time to snooze the night away. In the Gryffindor common room, all but two had vacated, retreating to their dorms for much needed relief. Y/N L/N and Remus Lupin had other priorities in mind.

Y/N was rewriting her notes for Arithmancy when she heard Remus clear his throat. He was against the other end of the sofa with his legs tucked into his chest, his Potions textbook acting as a surface for his parchment. Y/N was similarly using a journal. They’d been in the common room for hours, once surrounded by their friends before they decided to hit the sheets instead of their books. After their friends left, the two bookworms descended into silence. It’d been a while since either of them tried chatting through their overload of N.E.W.T.’s prep. Y/N peeked up, losing momentum, at his soft garble.

Remus’s eyes immediately went down to his legs when she looked over, so she looked down, too. His parchment was completely covered in perfect print with barely an inch left to write. “I need to borrow some parchment,” he said sheepishly.

Y/N’s face flushed for reasons beyond her, and she wordlessly fished around in her bag for some spare parchment. She felt less frazzled when she was able to locate a piece and hand it over to Remus.

“Thanks,” Remus said, his fingers brushing over hers without meaning to. Y/N felt sparks but she had no intention of speaking them into existence.

They didn’t speak for a time after that. Remus scribbled furiously, managing to have pretty penmanship through his rush, and Y/N took her time rewriting and slimming down her notes. They would glance at each other on occasion, sometimes connecting without meaning to (and consequentially Y/N would feel quite embarrassed), and they’d cough or sneeze or swallow or smile out of the blue. It went on. Only when the common room clock tolled at 3 did the pair acknowledge they needed rest; even if tomorrow were Sunday, neither of them enjoyed sleeping in.

Remus gave Y/N a tentative smile. “I got a lot done,” he told her, affirming what she felt for herself. Her smile back was mega-watt. Truly she felt better than she had before he’d asked her to study with him. She thought her feelings would get in the way and make her nervous being around him for so long—alone, stuffy and uncomfortably silent, all he had for company—but surprisingly the opposite happened. It was like any other time they hung out.

As friends.

“Me too,” Y/N agreed. She reached out and gave him a side hug before she could chicken out. The baffled look on his face, mixed with something she couldn’t be certain about, made her regret it—but whatever. It was 3 am and he wouldn’t remember it in the morning. I’ll remember it. “Goodnight, Remus.”

“Night, love,” Remus said sleepily, rubbing the crust from his eyes.

The two of them went up their respective staircases, looking back at the same time and waving a final farewell. Y/N felt like a little girl as she face-planted her comforter and snuggled into the pillow, briefly thinking about the pet name Remus gave her. He used it sparingly, usually when exhausted, and it seemed tonight was one of those nights.

Thinking about her best friend that way wasn’t right. He was her best friend. She met him before she met the Marauders, even before she became good friends with her dormmates. They’d been friends for so long that anything other than their routine would disrupt everything. Y/N had felt something other than platonic love for Remus since the summer of this year after he sent her a letter about his time at home. It wasn’t something small, either. She couldn’t fathom how she went from thinking it was gross when he drank pumpkin juice around her to watching his throat as he guzzled the atrocious liquid down. How—why—did she suddenly like him so much she couldn’t breathe around him? Why did things feel stilted?

Did he know?

She didn’t want to feel like this about him. He was her best friend, all their other friends were friends with each other, things were great the way they were and something new just wasn’t going to end well. Platonic love—maybe she was confusing it for the love she read about in her books. Maybe that’s all this was. Yeah.

She was overreacting.

Y/N didn’t fall asleep until it was well past what time it was when she stumbled back to her dorm, and by then the sun was coming up.

She wasn’t one to sleep in but that morning she made an unconscious exception.

Things may not have felt stilted when they hung out, but after they said their goodnights and went to bed, things changed. For Y/N, at least. She couldn’t be in the same room as Remus without feeling anxious beyond reason. She didn’t think she was obvious about it to their friends—maybe to the ever-observant Lily, but the Marauders had to be clueless, and Marlene and Alice were too busy talking about coursework. Remus wasn’t so oblivious. Y/N was constantly fleeing from conversations with excuses that never made much sense, and she was fumbling with what to say and how to act around him. She couldn’t ignore how her heart beat a little faster around him. Her entire body felt sweaty when he had his attention on her. She felt light, heavy, dead, and alive, at different ranges and nocks; she was sure it showed.

Of course it showed. Remus was bewildered, and honestly a little hurt, as Y/N’s nerves got the best of her. He didn’t try hiding how he felt and he didn't shy away from trying to rekindle things, completely oblivious to what he did. Y/N felt cruel and wanted to hate herself for what she was doing. Remus didn’t deserve this; he deserved a better. Their communication issues felt like years-old radio silence when really the days of Y/N’s strange behavior were slow like a boat against the tide.

Their friendship had never been out there. They weren’t like James and Sirius were with each other, even from the beginning, so tiptoeing around each other and being quiet was just a part of them. They were introverted at heart. Remus always preferred being alone with Y/N so they could engage and relax without their loud and rowdy friends joining, Y/N reciprocating his energy wholeheartedly. But somehow along the way of discovering her feelings, Y/N found herself feeling afraid. That fear translated to isolation, her flee instinct on a victory roll as it repeatedly conquered “fight.” The tiptoeing became profuse excuses, blatant footsteps, Y/N on a never-ending treadmill that just kept getting faster.

She didn’t want to admit to anything, especially if it meant losing Remus. Yet her heart also hated being away from him, hated doing things with anyone besides Remus, hated running away when all she wanted to do was have his company. Why was she so pathetic?

Her friends were obviously more observant than she thought, and they weren’t shying from asking questions, and eventually Y/N started running from them too.

She didn’t know how to get what she wanted without breaking her heart along the way.

She hid and she ran and she avoided. A cycle that inevitably caught up with her.

Sirius, the friend closest to her aside from Remus, met her during first-year Potions and hadn’t stopped pestering her since. He wasn’t the most sensitive bloke and feelings weren’t a subject matter you went to him with. If you needed him to threaten or prank a bully, fine. If you wanted a dueling partner for the big Defense Against the Dark Arts practical, sold. If you were being obvious about running away from his best friend… feelings were probably involved, so he knew he wasn’t the right man for the job, but he’d have something to say regardless. He always knew what to do, even if it would backfire tremendously.

Y/N was in her usual library nook reading an old fairy tale book, having been there for two and a half hours after Remus tried asking her to study with him, and she was just getting to the good part when—

Sirius popped his shaggy head around a bookcase, a loud, “Hullo,” echoing in the corner, scaring Y/N so badly that her book went flying feet away.

He merely glanced at the book (probably trying to see the title) before his entire body appeared from around the shelf. “Ah, so here’s where you’ve been running off to, aye?” He raised his eyebrows in a “Huh?” gesture. “Remus said you might be here.”

Y/N winced, remembering that Remus knew all about her favorite spots around the castle. He must have seriously thought she had something against him if he was abiding her avoidance by doing some of his own.

“I’m reading,” Y/N said weakly, grimacing when Sirius picked up her book and flipped through the pages. “Wasreading.”

“You’ve been avoiding Remus for three days,” Sirius said pointedly, tossing her the book. Beauty and the Beast. How fitting. “He’s right glum about it. Bet he’s half mad wondering what he did to make you cross with him, too. So what was it?”

Y/N felt like a fool thinking she was being subtle with anyone. if she didn’t catch it from her friends’ interrogations, she caught onto their suspicions now. Sirius wasn’t an idiot; Remus wasn’t either. Y/N’s actions weren’t normal, contrary to what her inner reassurances told her over the past 72 hours.

“He didn’t do anything,” she told Sirius, hoping she sounded believable. Sirius looked like he wanted more: a confessionmost likely. “I… just feel weird around him.”

Sirius smirked. “Ah, I see,” he said. Judging by his growing amusement, he’d immediately figured her out and was just taking his sweet time reveling in it. “Love, pesky little bugger, isn’t it?”

“W—love?” Y/N shook her head frantically. “No, that’s not it. I just—”

“You’re avoiding your best mate because things feel ‘weird,’” Sirius pointed out. “You already know about his furry little problem so that’s ruled out. What else makes being around a best mate weird? Maybe fancying him?”

“Believe what you want,” Y/N said tiredly. Her brain chanted at her, Accept it! Accept it! Accept it! but she didn’t want to accept it. Not even deny it, honestly. She thought avoiding him would avoid ruining their friendship, and she knew eventually if she let herself get convinced there weren’t real feelings involved, things could go back to normal. It was all a matter of time and patience. Sirius was not adhering to her internal plans… not that she wanted him to know anything about what went on in her head. He’d just take advantage of it.

Sirius stared at her, not buying the act, before turning around. “Aye, Moony, come over here.”

Seconds passed and the color drained from Y/N’s face.

“Don’t worry, he didn’t hear us,” Sirius said with a grin, eye dropping down into a wink that drove most of Hogwarts wild, “but you guys are about to talk. Good luck, mate.”

He disappeared around the corner and Y/N strained her ears trying to hear the end of what murmured conversation went on between Remus and Sirius when they met. Sirius’s loud footsteps echoed in her corner as he left, replaced by Remus’s nervous face peering around the bookcase.

“Hi,” Y/N said nervously, wanting to bury her face into her sleeves. She couldn’t do that without looking like a child so she just ran her hands over her copy of Beauty and the Beastand hoped (prayed, more like) for the best.

Remus walked deeper into the corner. “Hi,” he returned.

They stared at each other without erupting into quiet conversation as they usually did when alone, and Y/N felt like screaming knowing she’d caused the rift. If she was honest—and she bloody well had to be, knowing that she’d done what she had to Remus’s feelings—she’d put her feelings over his and prioritized her own discomfort. She ran because she didn’t like how she was thinking or feeling. Remus didn’t even get a chance to coast along; he was left in dirt, befuddled and bereaved.

“I’m sorry,” Y/N choked out.

“I’m sorry, too,” Remus immediately said, his head of chestnut hair falling so that his scalp was visible to Y/N but his face wasn’t. His voice was shaking, like he was fighting a battle with his own nerves—and losing. “I don’t know what I did to hurt you, but I’m sorry. If my… if my problem’s what’s bothering you, I promise I won’t bother you anymore. I just thought—”

“Remus,” Y/N said, realizing what he thought. Realizing she was the biggest fucking idiot—biggest fucking jerk—in the universe. He thought she was avoiding him because he was a werewolf. That was the furthest thing from her mind, but how could she put that into words? She was shaking from all the things she should say, could say, didn’t say, and all she mustered was his name, coming out like a sob. “That’s not…”

“It’s okay,” Remus said with a barely controlled breech in composure. His eyes betrayed him, signaling to Y/N that he felt disgusted with himself and he was in pain. Because of me. Y/N wanted to stand up and hug him. She knew she needed to reassure him that he was so wrong, that she would never turn her back on him because of something out of his control, but the pit of self-loathing in her stomach was making words escape her. “I know I’m a monster… You don’t have to apologize. I deserve it—”

“Remus, goddammit,” Y/N said. She began to feel angry about how he was talking about himself.

Remus continued on, his face turning wet with tears; “I know that what I am is always going to be a part of me, I don’t expect anyone to accept it. I don’t accept myself. How can I expect anyone else to? You were kind enough to even give me what you have—"

“I love you!” Y/N burst out, louder than she’d ever talked, unwilling to listen anymore. She knew everyone in the library probably heard her but she didn’t care. Her attention was all for Remus, her mind exploding with persistent reasons why she should flee again—but she was tired of running. And she was tired of hurting Remus in the process. She was tired of him thinking she ran from him because of that, something he could never have helped. “I love you, Remus, but I’m scared. Not scared of you. Not scared of your problem. Hell, I don’t even care about that! Okay? I’m scared of ruining everything we have. We’ve been friends since bloody first year! That’s a long time! Sirius is like a brother, and James and Peter are some of my best mates that you’ve given me. If I—if I love you like this, it’s broken. It’s fucking ruined, innit? Things would never be the same and I, I’d rather break my heart a thousand times than walk over yours.”

“Y/N…” Remus stared at her, mouth agape. If there was a word for his expression, he was confounded.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered in return. And she was, so bloody sorry she could build a mountain out of her apologies. “

“Don—don’t be sorry,” Remus said, more assertive, turning his head every which way like he had a fever he couldn’t shake. “Y/N… I love you, too. You know that, right? I thought… How could you love someone who’s a monster?”

“Remus, shut the bloody hell up. You’renot a monster. You’re kind and selfless and brave and smart, and if anyone doesn’t deserve someone, it’s me. I don’t deserve you, Remus. But I love you more than I’ve loved anyone in my life and it’s unimaginable what I’d do for you. You give me butterflies but you also make me more scared than I was during O.W.L’s week. You’re just—perfect, Remus. Bloody perfect. And I’m sorry for running but know it was never because of you—it’s because I was afraid to lose you.”

“You won’t ever lose me, Y/N,” Remus said with tears. Y/N had gotten up from her chair, book falling off her lap, and she was there to wipe them away. She held his head in her hands, staring at him like he was her whole bloody world. She hoped he saw it. “I… you’re my best friend. And you’re the love of my life. I’ve been afraid, too, but maybe we can have both without losing either.”

“If anyone can make that happen, it’s us,” Y/N said, laughing through her tears.

Remus was not a monster and at the end of the day Y/N wasn’t either.

But hurting the people you loved was something a monster did, does. So what did that make Y/N?

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