#I feel like if I start making art for other fandoms then I’ll feel obligated to make it a regular thing

[creativity-deficient]

Never know if I want to stick to just being a South Park account or expand my horizon to other fandoms too

[himboskywalker]

Tag what is your opinion on fandom cliches and hierarchies? There’s been talk on Twitter about how hard it is to break into the obikin community (which I disagree wkth) but I wondered if you had saw this going on and what your thoughts are as someone who’s been here longer than me

*sighs for a solid 10 minutes* I’m going to sound extremely grumpy answering this and it’s because seeing this kind of stuff pisses me off like nothing else in fandom. I wholeheartedly disagree,as I’m sure you guessed I would,and I have seen similar arguments on tumblr,as I avoid fandom Twitter like the plague. I’ve never seen a more welcoming,friendly,community driven fandom space as I have in the obikin community,and I’ve been in a lot of fandom spaces for a long freaking time. Back in 2019/early 2020 when I made my existence known in obikin,I felt like I was welcomed with open arms and a heartwarming level of love. For the vast majority I’ve found this space to be extremely uplifting,supportive,and positive. And I’m not saying this now as a creator who’s well known in some circles, I’m saying this as the nobody who everyone was extremely kind to when I wasn’t known from Adam,I have been treated the same way from my first chapter to now in regards to peoples’ welcoming kindness.

I’ve seen a couple people on tumblr complain about how hard it is to break into the obikin space and how they feel like nobody cares about them or what they create,and that they feel there’s cliques guarding the supposed gates of…obikin success? I don’t even know. But in my opinion that’s folks waltzing into fandom with an agenda and need that just isn’t compatible with the community spaces of fandom. If you come into a space with the expectation of accolades and popularity you’re not here to actually make friends and have fun,you’re here as a popularity contest.

And I think the fundamental misconception people have is that they are inherently deserving of space and attention just for them coming in and existing. And like, I’m sorry but you have to put in the groundwork to make friends and connections and to find a place you feel you belong. It goes both ways, you have to reach out to people and be friendly and chat,don’t just expect people who have been in this space to magically be your friend and know you when you’re brand new and haven’t made an effort to flag you exist. And that’s what people call “it being hard to break into the space and it’s cliquey.” Because no,that’s how socializing works, you introduce yourself and you chat and you get to know people and you put yourself out there and engage with others. Sometimes you create art and people engage with you over that,sometimes you have funny things to say and people can laugh and bond over that,or sometimes you let other artists know you love what they’ve created. Imagine it as going to a cocktail mixer at an art gallery, you can’t just stand in a freaking corner staring at everyone talking and interacting and then get mad and storm out like “those people are such a clique and not welcoming!!!!” Like bro did you make an effort?

And if you’re coming into fandom as an artist or writer or gif maker or whatever,not everyone is going to like or engage or interact with you and what you create. People in your fandom space are not obligated to reblog your posts or comment on your fics. Especially a space like tumblr,it can take a while for people to notice you and start interacting with you,it’s how algorithms work and is just one of the pitfalls of an online community space. If you make a fandom tumblr I think it’s extremely conceited,self-centered,and like weird to expect to be a popular creator instantly. I’m sure there are people who think I ignore them or am cliquey and barring the door for them when in fact it just takes me a while to notice people. I’m not going to magically remember your username,but what I will notice is you making posts and tagging it in my ship tag, I’ll notice you systematically engaging with people and creating stuff,and l’ll notice if you engage with me. It takes time to build connections,and it takes work.Friendship and community is not owed to you, you must be the second half of the bridge and you must build those relationships and that space for yourself.

We’re a small community, this isn’t a huge popular ship. And it always boggles my mind when people are like iTs sO hArD tO bE iN oBiKiN. Like I notice new artists and writers and gif makers after they’ve made a couple things. We don’t ignore new people but on the flip side it’s not a popularity contest and you’re not owed fame and worship because you were popular in another fandom or because you create art. If you’re here for those reasons then you’re not going to be happy in fandom,especially a small niche part of it where you’re not going to get anywhere near as much attention as you would in a big popular ship.

And I don’t completely buy into the write for yourself mindset and ignore all else. I get what it’s like to want people to enjoy the art you pour yourself into,that’s not a crime. The very act of putting something on tumblr or ao3 means you’re not just creating for yourself. But the key it not to just “create for yourself” but to create what you love. We’re here because we love the same characters and the same world,we want to share that love! And be excited over pouring our love into our art and sharing it with other people who feel the same way!Create and engage in fandom not for popularity or attention,but because you love this thing and it’s inherent human connection with other people who feel the same way. That’s how you build friendships and a community. That’s what fandom is,connection with others over shared love. So engage and create and participate and laugh and chat and cry and connect through shared love. It’s not about our differences,or how we sometimes like different things or find different meanings,that’s what makes these spaces eclectic and fun,it’s not about liking the wrong thing or liking it in a wrong way. If fandom isn’t fun for you because you can’t stand people loving what you love in a different way,or not giving you the attention and praise you want for creating what you love,then that’s a you problem that you should self examine about.

We’re treated like lepers in a lot of spaces for liking the “wrong” thing,and we’re tight knit because of that. Which just means all the more that we can’t afford to be cliquey snobs about “allowing” new people into our space. From every avenue I’ve seen obikin fans are ecstatic to welcome new faces in,it’s just more friends to connect over what we love. Sometimes you like parts of this world or dynamic others don’t,sometimes you create art that means a lot to you that doesn’t mean a lot to everyone else and that’s okay. We’re allowed to have our personal preferences and our likes and our dislikes. But when you start treating other people in the same community like they’re bullying you for not liking the same thing as you and engaging with your content simply because they don’t vibe with it and then accuse the entire fandom of being a gatekeepimg snobby clique,then that’s you just being a whiny baby and I’ll say it to their faces. Your are not oppressed or being bullied because people in obikin don’t like what you do and you’re the one creating divisiveness by saying it’s a problem,no one is obligated to love what you do. And for those who are saying their content isn’t welcome,we’ll that’s just a further cry for attention because there will ALWAYS be someone who will enjoy the dynamic you do,and just because everyone doesn’t,it doesn’t make you a martyr.

So create what you love,put forth a fucking effort to connect with people who like the same shit you do,and don’t push half your fandom away by being a negative black hole in the tags and acting like everyone is out to get you and being mean.

[bunitivity]

Hey! First of all let me start by saying that I LOVE your writing (one shots? Im not familiar with fanfic terms lol), everytime I see you answering an ask and is under read more? Fuck yeah! Im eating well tonight!!! (That being said dont feel obligated to answer this like that lol)

I was just thinking about Water 7 (because us Usopp girlies/gender neutral/ are never leaving that arc down) and the fact that after getting beat up Usopp is shown to have bandages all over his body, but later when he heals he doesnt seem to have any scars, and in the sense of the show it makes sense, but 👀 i feel theres lots of angst potential for him to have some scarring from his time against the Franky Family, after all Chopper only treated him at first, the rest of the wounds care was done by Usopp. I feel theres great Usopp angst potential in seeing these scars as shameful because they keep reminding him of his actions in water 7, Franky angst because every time he sees those scars he remembers a beat up Usopp, hell angst for the whole crew remembering their darkest time as a crew

And if we want to make it ZoLuSanUso (because of course were going to!!) angst of their little breakup arc and how they couldnt protect usopp at that moment 😭

Aaah I’m so happy you enjoy my writing! I honestly hadn’t planned on writing anything for this fandom because whenever I enter a new fandom I prefer posting art and even though I enjoy writing a little here and there much like my art/fandom art in general they are just snippets of a larger story lol. Which is something you can get away with drawing but not writing. I wish I could write a full fledged slowburn for the ot4 god that would be the dream but executing something like that well is a lot of work and I’m weak of spirit I’m afraid😩 that being said I did write a little something inspired by my latest ot4 drawing(and isn’t that a beautiful circle being inspired to draw and being inspired to write by your own drawing as you draw lol) I just need to edit it and I’ll post it tomorrow(and yeah they’re called oneshots😊) just seeing your nice message inspired me to work on it some more so that’s why it took me a bit to answer(also it takes me longer to see asks because I have notifications turned off lol)

And ah water 7 best arc and anyone who says otherwise is just weak. The first and only time we saw interpersonal conflict that mattered where everyone was so wrong and also right. Sorta wishing we get the same level intercrew conflict in elbaf but with the way the story is going it’s not likely but I can dream. anyways water 7. God the thought of them already dating during that arc is so angsty even for Me. While lu/sopp and san/uso sides are already heartbreaking on their own (and lu/san! he literally kicked him in the face and told him to watch his mouth😭 honestly I don’t think Sanji would forgiven Luffy or Zoro if Usopp really left the crew there’s no way for things to be normal after all that or even Usopp for going through with it tbh) but ugh just zo/sopp is so much worse. Just having to hear him say that they should leave him if he doesn’t apologize even though Usopp wasn’t the only one at fault no you know what even if he was entirely at fault hearing that would not be okay. To hear someone you love say that would be heartbreaking😭. From then on you even after you patch things up you would be constantly watching yourself trying not to be too much trouble or make any mistakes. I have fallen down a ravenous hole I need to get UP. So yeah I don’t like to think about them dating before w7 because it all becomes a little too terrible and I would just die but I shall indulge you just a bit.

But yeah Luffy waking up sweats in the middle to make sure Usopp’s still there. Zoro would be just be touching Usopp and finding all these scars that never used to be there and get a bad taste in his mouth. I think if Sanji hears any of the other two raise their voice he’ll just have flashbacks and go into protective mode even though they are his boyfriends too and he’s supposed to also love them and he can’t have favorites but there’s no way to erase the past and what happened. So Sanji will just feel that much more terrible and unworthy (he never used to feel deserving before but now it’s just compounded three fold). Water 7 has left a lot of scars.

They may not all be physical but they’re so much worse. They’re going to be forever hunted by past mistakes of how they almost lost him because they were stupid and not there when he needed them most and as a result they’re going to overcompensate and become overprotective which just leads to Usopp feeling even more useless. It’s a vicious cycle until something finally gives and they have another fight where all their stupid insecurities come to light and they mend things. They try to be better moving forward but they’re just humans and there’s no way they can just fix things overnight. But they try and that’s all that matters.

I don’t think Franky will ever forget what happened and what he had to someone that has become so precious to him. And the fact that Usopp forgave him so easily just makes it so much worse. It’s easier to deal with anger because then you can at least apologize and work to earn their forgiveness. But no he does not get that. Instead he has to see the person he hurt look up to him and admire him and love him which just makes all the shitty things he did so much worse. And to have left permanent scarring because of what he has done oh boy. To have a constant reminder of just how terrible you can be. Yeah he won’t ever forget it. And no amount of good he does will ever erase those scars so how could he possibly forgive himself.

[atrashmammall]

Introduction time!

(Ignoring the fact that I made one and then changed a bunch of things on my blog and also forgot to pin it lol)

I'm geek! I'm 22 and use she/he/they pronouns (in no order of preference) I mainly write SBI and awesamdad fics but honestly I may as well say fuck it and call myself multifandom the amount of other fandoms I want to start writing in!

Check out my ao3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ATrashMammal

I also have a carrd with a bit more info you can check out here: atrashmammal.carrd.co

For my friends from twitter! I'm using the tags #ref and #for my friends! to tag helpful things to know about tumblr, things to help make the site more functional, tips and tricks that sort of thing!

I'm using the tag #this hellsite is going to claw me back in and i'm going to become the worst human you ever did see :) to tag the more shitposty of things i reblog so feel free to block that tag if you just want to see mcyt stuff!

Other common non-mcyt tags i'll be using are #TMA, #wolfstar and #ineffable husbands for their respective fandom things, although most art i tend to reblog without tagging unless it's something potentially triggering!

If you want me to tag something specific drop me and ask or an inbox and I'm more than likely going to oblige!

I have a fic masterlist which can be found here: atrashmammall.tumblr.com/fic-masterlist

I'm also going to be posting on here when i update/post a fic as well as on twitter so if you want to be tagged here too lmk! I'll be using the tag #my writing for all my fics!

[whumptober]

Whumptober 2020 - Updated

Welcome to Whumptober 2020! We’re doing things a little differently this year so please make sure to read the Event Info carefully. We are also excited to announce the addition of an AO3 Collection, which can be found here.

We hope you’re as excited as us to watch the Whump Community come together once again for a month of bone-crunching creativity and collaboration!

(All 31 Themes + Prompts, Event Information, and FAQs are posted below the cut!)

No 1. LET'S HANG OUT SOMETIME Waking Up Restrained | Shackled | Hanging

No 2. IN THE HANDS OF THE ENEMY  "Pick Who Dies" | Collars | Kidnapped

No 3. MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY Manhandled | Forced to their Knees | Held at Gunpoint

No 4. RUNNING OUT OF TIME Caged | Buried Alive | Collapsed Building

No 5. WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING? On the Run | Failed Escape | Rescue

No 6. PLEASE.... "Get it Out" | No More | "Stop, please"

No 7. I'VE GOT YOU Support | Carrying | Enemy to Caretaker

No 8. WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO? "Don't Say Goodbye" | Abandoned | Isolation

No 9. FOR THE GREATER GOOD "Take Me Instead" | "Run!” | Ritual Sacrifice

No 10. THEY LOOK SO PRETTY WHEN THEY BLEED Blood Loss | Internal Bleeding | Trail of Blood

No 11. PSYCH 101 Defiance | Struggling | Crying

No 12. I THINK I'VE BROKEN SOMETHING Broken Down | Broken Bones | Broken Trust

No 13. BREATHE IN BREATHE OUT Delayed Drowning | Chemical Pneumonia | Oxygen Mask

No 14. IS SOMETHING BURNING? Branding | Heat Exhaustion | Fire

No 15. INTO THE UNKNOWN Possession | Magical Healing | Science Gone Wrong

No 16. A TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY Forced to Beg | Hallucinations | Shoot the Hostage

No 17. I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING Blackmail | Dirty Secret | Wrongfully Accused

No 18. PANIC! AT THE DISCO Panic Attacks | Phobias | Paranoia

No 19. BROKEN HEARTS Grief | Mourning Loved One | Survivor's Guilt

No 20. TOTO, I HAVE A FEELING WE'RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE Lost | Field Medicine | Medieval

No 21. I DON'T FEEL SO WELL Chronic Pain | Hypothermia | Infection

No 22. DO THESE TACOS TASTE FUNNY TO YOU? Poisoned | Drugged | Withdrawal

No 23. WHAT’S A WHUMPEE GOTTA DO TO GET SOME SLEEP AROUND HERE? Exhaustion | Narcolepsy | Sleep Deprivation

No 24. YOU’RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE Forced Mutism | Blindfolded | Sensory Deprivation

No 25. I THINK I’LL JUST COLLAPSE RIGHT HERE, THANKS Disorientation | Blurred Vision | Ringing Ears

No 26. IF YOU THOUGHT THE HEAD TRAUMA WAS BAD... Migraine | Concussion | Blindness

No 27. OK, WHO HAD NATURAL DISASTERS ON THEIR 2020 BINGO CARD? Earthquake | Extreme Weather | Power Outage

No 28. SUCH WOW. MANY NORMAL. VERY OOPS. Accidents | Hunting Season | Mugged

No 29. I THINK I NEED A DOCTOR Intubation | Emergency Room | Reluctant Bedrest

No 30. NOW WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? Wound Reveal | Ignoring an Injury | Internal Organ Injury

No 31. TODAY’S SPECIAL: TORTURE Experiment | Whipped | Left for Dead

Alternate Prompt List

Alt 1. Punctured

Alt 2. Falling

Alt 3. Comfort

Alt 4. Stitches

Alt 5. Stoic Whumpees

Alt 6. Altered States

Alt 7. Found Family

Alt 8. Adverse Reactions

Alt 9. Memory Loss

Alt 10. Nightmares

Alt 11. Presumed Dead

Alt. 12. Water

Alt. 13 Accidents

Alt. 14 Shot

Alt. 15 Carry/Support

Event Info

WHUMPTOBER is a month-long, prompt-based creation challenge (think: Inktober, but whumpier). There are 31 Official themes this year - one for each day of the month - which can be used, skipped, or combined in any way you’d like. They are meant to serve as inspiration without being taken literally (e.g. you don't have to include the exact wording into your work). Additionally, there are 3 prompts for each theme.  These are optional suggestions and can be used in conjunction with the theme, or as options/alternatives.  We want to give everyone as much creative freedom as possible, as well as increase event accessibility for folks with triggers and squicks.

Creators can PRODUCE work in any media they choose, including but not limited to: writing, visual artwork, and photo/video/audio edits. Creators can PARTICIPATE as much or as little as they want (i.e. you don’t have to do ALL the prompts if you don’t want to) and prompts can be used in any order. They are also free to use even after the event ends.

When uploading Whumptober content to your blog, be sure to tag the with:

#whumptober2020 …..(the event tag)

#no.1, #no.2, #no.3, …..(theme number)

#bruised, #stabbed,  …..(the theme or specific prompt you chose)

#fandom or #OC

#medium …..(gifs, fic, podcast, art, etc.)

#teeth, #etc …..(trigger warnings & any additional tags. Keep in mind not to add “tw” in front but only use the word/trigger itself, because tumblr sucks)

#nsfw, #nsfwhump …..(only for nsfw content)

PLEASE BE DILIGENT WITH YOUR TAGGING. Only properly tagged posts are considered for archiving on the official @whumptober2020​ blog. They must be tagged in the order above.

Unfortunately, due to the sheer number of participants in recent years, we cannot guarantee your work will be archived. A random selection of properly tagged posts from all genres will be reblogged each day.

Whumpers who produce content for 31 total theme days are considered event completionists and will be tagged in a masterpost at the end of the month.

Questions not addressed below can be directed to this blog as well.

Thanks for reading, and happy whumping!

Frequently Asked Questions

Q. What kind of content can I make? Can it be NSFW?

This is a MIXED MEDIA event! You can write fic, post meta, doodle or paint, create a gif set or photo edit, link a song, or get crafty with video - anything goes. As for NSFW, make what you like, we just hope that you’ll tag your work accordingly so that others participating in the event can stay safe :)

Q. Do I have to do all 31 Days? Can I post early/late?

Participate as much or little as you like, and post whenever! Just be sure to tag your posts properly (ex. #no.11, #psych101). Combining prompts into one piece of work is okay, and posting late is as well so as long as it’s in October.

Q. What if I don’t understand a theme?

Send us an ask! We’re happy to help clarify. That said, the themes are entirely up for interpretation :)

Q. Can I combine Whumptober with other creation challenges?

Absolutely! That’s like shooting two whumpees with one bullet :)

Q. Can I upload/repost my whumptober content to other social media platforms?

Of course! We’ve created an AO3 Collection to archive any fics posted there. The archive can be accessed here. The blog is the official archive, so please respect the boundaries of any closeted whumpers in your social circle :)

Q. Can I use prompts to write a new chapter for an existing fic?

Yes

Q. An existing fic I am currently writing contains many of the Whumptober prompts, can I use it?

If you are actively writing this fic at the moment with the whumptober prompts in mind, yes. If it just conveniently checks the boxes, then please don’t. You can, however, add new chapters answering one or more of the prompts.

Q. What kind of characters can I write for?

Fandom characters, OC characters, human, furry, alien, cyborg, whoever you like.

Q. Can I use a prompt multiple times?

Yes,  but it only counts once

Q. If I’m not comfortable with one day's prompts can I use a prompt of a different day as a substitute and still be a completionist?

Yes, but please do not use a specific prompt twice. We have also created an alternate prompts list that you can draw from [here].

Q. Where can I post my work?

Post where and how you want. You don’t even have to (cross)post it to Tumblr. Just keep in mind if it’s not on Tumblr we will not be able to add it to the blog archive.

Q. Can I start posting early?

You can, but this is an October event and wouldn’t it be more fun with everyone doing it at the same time? That being said, you can post early, but we won’t be reblogging any work predating October 1st.

Q. Do I have to finish a fic I started/can I post WIP’s.?

Yes you can post WIPs. And you’re not obligated to finish it in October for it to count towards being a completionist.  

Q. Is co-writing allowed?

Yes, absolutely, and it would count towards being a completionist for both/all of you :)

Q. Do I have to create 31 standalone pieces to be considered a completionist or can I write one continuous story?

One continuous story is fine.  The challenge is to write something for 31 prompts. If that’s spread over 31 fics or just one, you are still considered a completionist. (The same goes for every other media you choose.)

Q. Is there a min/max limit on word count?

There is no limit

Q. Can I combine prompts? Is there a limit on how many?

No limit and combine as many as you’d like.

Q. Is a hc/angst focus ok?

Of course!

Q. What’s considered nsfw?

See this post

Q. What's whump?

See this post

Q. My interpretation of the prompt isn't whumpy at all, does that count?

No, sorry, but keep in mind that whump [see definition] is something very nuanced and different for everyone and emotional whump/angst is just as much part of it, as is physical whump and torture. So before you dismiss your idea, think about this.

Q. Can I start working on the prompts before October?

Absolutely! That’s why we posted the prompts a month in advance. We recognise how difficult it can be creating for 31 days in “real time”.

Q. How do I tag triggers?

tw at the end of the word, ex. emeto tw

Q. Do I have to use your tags?

Yes, if you want your work archived on the blog. If not, feel free to use whatever tags you want.  

Q. Does combining prompts count towards completion?

Yes

Q. Can we @ you?

Yes but we mostly rely on the whumptober2020 tag

Q. Is there anything we are absolutely not allowed to write?

There are no rules, just be sure to properly tag your trigger warnings. And keep in mind Tumblr’s policies if you are posting it here (or the policies of whatever site you use).

Q. Where can I go for brainstorming help?

Here on Discord

Q. My characters are minors, is that ok?

Yes, but as with everything else, tags are your best friend.

Q. Can I cross post on other blogs?

Yes, multiple platforms and blogs are perfectly acceptable. You can also post different works to different accounts under different names, without posting them everywhere at once.

Note: This is a creation challenge, please don’t repost your old work under our tags (unless it’s been changed or edited for the event).

[justmypartner]

Tips for getting started on fanfic writing? I feel like there’s already so much good content out there that coming into it fresh is quite daunting

Gonna speak in general terms. If you had specific areas you’d like me to touch on, let me know!! This is also just my own experiences and tips. Every writer is different, so take that as you may. Also using a cut just because this got kinda long.

It’s definitely daunting coming in fresh, but the biggest thing I can say in encouragement is just do it!! Take the leap!! If you’ve spent time crafting a story that you really care about, sharing it can be the best way of making that idea/story finally feel complete. Hiatus is probably the best time to start anyway because everyone is prowling for new stories as we all try to survive on little to no content.

As far as posting, I definitely recommend using ao3. It’s the most user friendly of fic content sharing sites, and I find that it’s the most widely used for readers too. I started out only posting on tumblr, but I definitely saw my stories gain a larger reach when I started posting on ao3. Tumblr is fun for bonus content though! Use your tumblr to share when you update, any kind of art/media that pertains to the story, answer questions, interact with readers, etc.

Make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons! Write because it’s fun and you want to write. Don’t burn yourself out with it or force anything if it starts to feel like an obligation. Take proper breaks, plan out your writing schedule, and don’t worry about what others are doing or how much content they’re putting out compared to you.

Do a quick browse of ao3 or other sites before diving into a big story (or any story for that matter). Plagiarism is a big no no always, but also this fandom has been around for years. You may be writing about something that’s already kinda been done. I try to do a quick scout of existing stories before I start writing to make sure I’m not unintentionally repeating a concept that’s already been done.

Lastly, a huge resource for me recently has been the blog @writingquestionsanswered. Superrrr helpful!!

I’ll end by saying this - writing for this fandom has been the most enjoyable experience for me. Everyone is so kind and lovely and supportive and always more than willing to welcome new content creators with open arms. I know it can seem intimidating, but it’s really not so bad!! I promise. Happy writing to you!! Never hesitate to reach out if you have any questions or just want to chat!!

[pop-punklouis]

Hi hope, sorry this is a bit of a rant so feel free to ignore if you want, I just am feeling like H is kind of out of touch with the fandom atm, it’s not the stunt stuff bc I know he doesn’t ‘choose’ to do it, it’s a product if his closeting and his contracts, but just like doing the whale at his concert and talking abt the pandemic like it’s in the past just doesn’t sit right with me. So many ppl are still struggling. I’m struggling and I don’t even have it that bad compared to others but like his pandemic and my pandemic are NOT the same thing. And he says “you’ve changed my life” like thank you fans for making me rich and famous... like that’s not why I love your music dude, that’s not why I’m a fan and why I support you. Sigh, sorry love I really like your blog and always enjoy your take on things and I really don’t wanna bum you out, but anyway thank you for listening 💕

hi bb.

you can rant to me whenever! x i totally understand this stance and frustration. many people have been feeling distant from harry, lately. in my opinion, 2020-2021 has been a year that has caused him to be incredibly separated from the fandom. his impersonal persona has been building for a while, but i firmly believe that this year has been the tipping point for many fans. and i think a big portion of that is because of how he’s come off during the pandemic which has been insanely disappointing. he’s come across as an entitled, rich brat much of the time that hasn’t been counterbalanced with seeing the other side of him many people know and adore. only seeing this one side for over a year will weigh on anyone, and i don’t blame them. i’ve had my fair share of upset with him and complete and utter confusion about certain decisions he’s made. and that’s perfectly fine to admit. i’ll be honest, i never though harry would be the one who would’ve been the most careless during a pandemic out of all the boys, and yet here we are 18 months later. on top of what you mentioned, i also was highly uncomfortable with the poem by charles bukowski that seemed to be narrated as harry’s intro to his tour. featuring a poem that has a line that reads “To do a dangerous thing with style is what I call art” in the middle of a pandemic that you’re touring in and putting even more of your fans in danger feels so far out of touch with reality it boggles my mind. i understand what he was going for regarding the tour intro— and i would’ve been inclined to not think much of it if it had been in different circumstances. but, dude context is key and it seems like a lot of his decisions lately that have upset people in this pandemic is because he hasn’t thought about the context of those actions in a pandemic.

like you said, most of the frustration doesn’t come from his stunts or what he’s contractually obligated to do. no one is pointing a finger at him for things that he could be barred from changing. the upset comes from the other actions that we’ve continuously seen, unfortunately. everyone knows i don’t hate him— and criticizing any of the boys should never equate to thinking someone hates them. i absolutely adore harry, but i haven’t felt connected to him in a long while. ever since march 2020, i’ve seen a steady shift in what people expect out of celebrity and how they engage with celebrity. it’s gone past the mold of traditional promo and branding, and it has become almost expected for an artist to feel authentic to who they are for there to be a much bigger connection to them and their work. harry styles™️ works under the old, traditional mold of celebrity and that just doesn’t cut it anymore. they have to evolve and stop believing this foundational rockstar approach is going to sustain him indefinitely. it won’t, and the cracks are only getting bigger. i’m hoping with whatever dates he does do with this tour, that that changes the perception a lot of people have started having about him as tour!harry is where he feels the most personable to his fans instead of a corporate machine. yet, the first show back felt stagnant and rushed. so, beyond anything, i hope it doesn’t stay that way and there’s that genuine warmth we all know of harry onstage going forward *big shrug*

[ilooklikeaburntchickenugget]

Addressing Lindsey

I really, really hate this topic a lot.

The fandom has been split forever over Lindsey. And here’s my take.

I’m the type of person where I believe love prevails over any emotion. It’s like overrule, the veto of emotions. There’s something so incredibly fascinating about love, true and genuine love. It’s a mystery until someone has found it, an unopened, untouched box.

That same box can open to a treasure chest of gold, and show the truest form of love. Or it can be Pandora’s box.

Yes, I believe Lindsey Way has many toxic personality traits. I don’t believe it is fair for me to classify her as a “bad person”, I don’t know her personally. However her actions lead me to believe she is definitely not a person to be necessarily fond of.

I’ve always been supportive of her and Gerard’s relationship, because (at least from what we can see) she makes Gerard happy. And after all that man has been through the very least he deserves is happiness and love. And he loves her, so I respect their relationship.

I’ve always had a very weird feeling about their relationship, however. Just the quick pace, and the events surrounding it. It just seems so calculated by her.

So Projekt Revolution starts, this is just post-Eliza breakup for Gerard. Yes, we all know she was also incredibly toxic. He was very possibly vulnerable, unsure what to do or where to go. And here comes up a woman who is ready to assist him through all of this.

We all know Gerard is highly emotional and empathetic, time after time in interviews he’s admitted it, other members of the bands have admitted it. Coming from someone with an EQ of 160 and an incredibly empathetic person as well, it’s easy to fall into the traps set up by other people. I’ve done it time and time again, but I’m still young and I know I can grow from those mistakes. So, he probably fell head over heels, not thinking too far in advance and thinking with his current emotions.

And what does she get in return? Gerard is an incredibly attractive man to begin with (I write fan fiction about him, lol, I would know) and MCR was practically on top of the world at that point. She’s a decently well known name in rock at that period, but marrying the cover of rock at that point would, well, boost you up quite a bit. Both as a musician, and in her art career.

I also want to truly mention the differences in the way they talk about one another. Basically every interview where Gerard talks about Lindsey he uses extremely strong and passionate language. When she talks about him, she does not. It almost seems bland, little to no emotion or tone. 

Not to mention as well the 2008 Fuse interview pre-Madison Square Garden show where Gerard mentions how she flew out to see him play his dream show. No offense, but in a marriage with someone who you will be spending the rest of your life with, isn’t being there to see them achieve their dream the lowest expectation? He made such a big deal out of her flying out, which tells me she made a big damn deal about it to him, which is incredibly unfair lowering the bar for yourself.

Her lack of emotion isn’t only with interviews regarding anything with Gerard. In general there’s almost no tone to her voice, she has little to no range. Her facial expressions don’t range, and her fan interactions seem less than emotional. I know various people have various ways of expressing themselves, but in general she seems to have a lot less expression within her voice, facial features, and actions than the average person.

And don’t get me started on her incredibly public, and incredibly immature meltdowns. I think it’s so important to mention that Gerard has never once defended her, which shows that he knows enough to conclude that she’s in the wrong in these situations. Especially with the whole opossum post making fun of Frank’s car accident in 2016, not cool.

In general she gives me such a weird, very off vibe. It’s hard for me to research her interviews, recorded through video or just printed and try to say that she seems like a caring, good, sound minded person. I really think something’s off, and I don’t want to accuse her of anything because I find that unfair, but my gut feeling since I joined the MCRmy almost four years has always been that she has her own intentions behind marrying Gerard, and it wasn’t just for love.

So Gerard fell victim to the forces of love. And to me, this seems more of a Pandora’s box situation. It seems in their early marriage he was incredibly happy, the happiest fans had ever seen him. In Danger Days he regresses back to his days of abusing substances, and I’m not saying by any means it’s due to her, but lots of people have commented on how he looks more miserable since then.

And I think now that he’s a father, it only adds an additional string of some sort of obligation he holds to her. We’ve seem him talk about Bandit, explain how she was the main reason he chose to come clean and eventually end the band after, once again, finding himself in another down turn of misery.

I just can’t help but think that when the timeline of some of his decline again matches up with their relationship, and no I don’t think it’s a coincidence.

And some fans may argue with me all they want, and accuse me of pushing a false narrative. But with how open Gerard has been with his character and how closed Lindsey has been aside from her public meltdowns, I can’t help but think there’s something off about the whole thing.

I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again: The entire relationship to me sounds like a fucked up 1800s gothic novel. Someone falls in love with someone else, and true love is a permanent glue: You can try to pry it off all you want, the stains remain forever.

However you guys feel about this I hope what I’m saying here won’t affect your perspective or view on my writing, since that’s my main forte. I’ve just been seeing more people bring this up again, especially after she blocked a fan on Twitter for calling her out for BLM (since MSI does have quite a few highly racist songs and lyrics) so I think it’s important to at least express my opinions, whether people agree with them or not.

[shortnotsweet]

Bakudeku: A Non-Comprehensive Dissection of the Exploitation of Working Bodies, the Murder of Annoying Children, and a Rivals-to-Lovers Complex

I. Bakudeku in Canon, And Why Anti’s Need to Calm the Fuck Down

II. Power is Power: the Brain-Melting Process of Normalization and Toxic Masculinity

III. How to Kill Middle Schoolers, and Why We Should

IV. Parallels in Abuse, EnemiesRivals-to-Lovers, and the Necessity of Redemption ft. ATLA’s Zuko

V. Give it to Me Straight. It’s Homophobic.

VI. Love in Perspective, from the East v. West

VII. Stuck in the Sludge, the Past, and Season One

Disclaimer

It needs to be said that there is definitely a place for disagreement, discourse, debate, and analysis: that is a sign of an active fandom that’s heavily invested, and not inherently a bad thing at all. Considering the amount of source material we do have (from the manga, to the anime, to the movies, to the light novels, to the official art), there are going to be warring interpretations, and that’s inevitable.

I started watching and reading MHA pretty recently, and just got into the fandom. I was weary for a reason, and honestly, based on what I’ve seen, I’m still weary now. I’ve seen a lot of anti posts, and these are basically my thoughts. This entire thing is in no way comprehensive, and it’s my own opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. If I wanted to be thorough about this, I would’ve included manga panels, excerpts from the light novel, shots from the anime, links to other posts/essays/metas that have inspired this, etc. but I’m tired and not about that life right now, so, this is what it is. This is poorly organized, but maybe I’ll return to fix it.

Let’s begin.

Bakudeku in Canon, And Why Anti’s Need to Calm the Fuck Down

There are a lot of different reasons, that can be trivial as you like, to ship or not to ship two (or more) characters. It could be based purely off of character design, proximity, aversion to another ship, or hypotheticals. And I do think that it’s totally valid if someone dislikes the ship or can’t get on board with his character because to them, it does come across as abuse, and the implications make them uncomfortable or, or it just feels unhealthy. If that is your takeaway, and you are going to stick to your guns, the more power to you.

But Bakudeku’s relationship has canonically progressed to the point where it’s not the emotionally (or physically) abusive clusterfuck some people portray it to be, and it’s cheap to assume that it would be, based off of their characterizations as middle schoolers. Izuku intentionally opens the story as a naive little kid who views the lens of the Hero society through rose colored glasses and arguably wants nothing more than assimilation into that society; Bakugou is a privileged little snot who embodies the worst and most hypocritical beliefs of this system. Both of them are intentionally proven wrong. Both are brainwashed, as many little children are, by the propaganda and societal norms that they are exposed to. Both of their arcs include unlearning crucial aspects of the Hero ideology in order to become true heroes.

I will personally never simp for Bakugou because for the longest time, I couldn't help but think of him as a little kid on the playground screaming at the top of his lungs because someone else is on the swingset. He’s red in the face, there are probably veins popping out of his neck, he’s losing it. It’s easy to see why people would prefer Tododeku to Bakudeku.

Even now, seeing him differently, I still personally wouldn’t date Bakugou, especially if I had other options. Why? I probably wouldn’t want to date any of the guys who bullied me, especially because I think that schoolyard bullying, even in middle school, affected me largely in a negative way and created a lot of complexes I’m still trying to work through. I haven’t built a better relationship with them, and I’m not obligated to. Still, I associate them with the kind of soft trauma that they inflicted upon me, and while to them it was probably impersonal, to me, it was an intimate sort of attack that still affects me. That being said, that is me. Those are my personal experiences, and while they could undoubtedly influence how I interpret relationships, I do not want to project and hinder my own interpretation of Deku.

The reality is that Deku himself has an innate understanding of Bakugou that no one else does; I mention later that he seems to understand his language, implicitly, and I do stand by that. He understands what it is he’s actually trying to say, often why he’s saying it, and while others may see him as wimpy or unable to stand up for himself, that’s simply not true. Part of Deku’s characterization is that he is uncommonly observant and empathetic; I’m not denying that Bakugou caused harm or inflicted damage, but infantilizing Deku and preaching about trauma that’s not backed by canon and then assuming random people online excuse abuse is just...the leap of leaps, and an actual toxic thing to do. I’ve read fan works where Bakugou is a bully, and that’s all, and has caused an intimate degree of emotional, mental, and physical insecurity from their middle school years that prevents their relationship from changing, and that’s for the better. I’m not going to argue and say that it’s not an interesting take, or not valid, or has no basis, because it does. Its basis is the character that Bakugou was in middle school, and the person he was when he entered UA.

Not only is Bakugou — the current Bakugou, the one who has accumulated memories and experiences and development — not the same person he was at the beginning of the story, but Deku is not the same person, either. Maybe who they are fundamentally, at their core, stays the same, but at the beginning and end of any story, or even their arcs within the story, the point is that characters will undergo change, and that the reader will gain perspective.

“You wanna be a hero so bad? I’ve got a time-saving idea for you. If you think you’ll have a quirk in your next life...go take a swan dive off the roof!”

Yes. That is a horrible thing to tell someone, even if you are a child, even if you don’t understand the implications, even if you don’t mean what it is you are saying. Had someone told me that in middle school, especially given our history and the context of our interactions, I don’t know if I would ever have forgiven them.

Here’s the thing: I’m not Deku. Neither is anyone reading this. Deku is a fictional character, and everyone we know about him is extrapolated from source material, and his response to this event follows:

“Idiot! If I really jumped, you’d be charged with bullying me into suicide! Think before you speak!”

I think it’s unfair to apply our own projections as a universal rather than an interpersonal interpretation; that’s not to say that the interpretation of Bakudeku being abusive or having unbalanced power dynamics isn’t valid, or unfounded, but rather it’s not a universal interpretation, and it’s not canon. Deku is much more of a verbal thinker; in comparison, Bakugou is a visual one, at least in the format of the manga, and as such, we get various panels demonstrating his guilt, and how deep it runs. His dialogue and rapport with Deku has undeniably shifted, and it’s very clear that the way they treat each other has changed from when they were younger. Part of Bakugou’s growth is him gaining self awareness, and eventually, the strength to wield that. He knows what a fucked up little kid he was, and he carries the weight of that.

“At that moment, there were no thoughts in my head. My body just moved on its own.”

There’s a part of me that really, really disliked Bakugou going into it, partially because of what I’d seen and what I’d heard from a limited, outside perspective. I felt like Bakugou embodied the toxic masculinity (and to an extent, I still believe that) and if he won in some way, that felt like the patriarchy winning, so I couldn't help but want to muzzle and leash him before releasing him into the wild.

The reality, however, of his character in canon is that it isn’t very accurate to assume that he would be an abusive partner in the future, or that Midoryia has not forgiven him to some extent already, that the two do not care about each other or are singularly important, that they respect each other, or that the narrative has forgotten any of this.

Don’t mistake me for a Bakugou simp or apologist. I’m not, but while I definitely could also see Tododeku (and I have a soft spot for them, too, their dynamic is totally different and unique, and Todoroki is arguably treated as the tritagonist) and I’m ambivalent about Izuocha (which is written as cannoncially romantic) I do believe that canonically, Bakugou and Deku are framed as soulmates/character foils, Sasuke + Naruto, Kageyama + Hinata style. Their relationship is arguably the focus of the series. That’s not to undermine the importance or impact of Deku’s relationships with other characters, and theirs with him, but in terms of which one takes priority, and which one this all hinges on?

The manga is about a lot of things, yes, but if it were to be distilled into one relationship, buckle up, because it’s the Bakudeku show.

Power is Power: the Brain-Melting Process of Normalization and Toxic Masculinity

One of the ways in which the biopolitical prioritization of Quirks is exemplified within Hero society is through Quirk marriages. Endeavor partially rationalizes the abuse of his family through the creation of a child with the perfect quirk, a child who can be molded into the perfect Hero. People with powerful, or useful abilities, are ranked high on the hierarchy of power and privilege, and with a powerful ability, the more opportunities and avenues for success are available to them.

For the most part, Bakugou is a super spoiled, privileged little rich kid who is born talented but is enabled for his aggressive behavior and, as a child, cannot move past his many internalized complexes, treats his peers like shit, and gets away with it because the hero society he lives in either has this “boys will be boys” mentality, or it’s an example of the way that power, or Power, is systematically prioritized in this society. The hero system enables and fosters abusers, people who want power and publicity, and people who are genetically predisposed to have advantages over others. There are plenty of good people who believe in and participate in this system, who want to be good, and who do good, but that doesn’t change the way that the hero society is structured, the ethical ambiguity of the Hero Commission, and the way that Heroes are but pawns, idols with machine guns, used to sell merch to the public, to install faith in the government, or the current status quo, and reinforce capitalist propaganda. Even All Might, the epitome of everything a Hero should be, is drained over the years, and exists as a concept or idea, when in reality he is a hollow shell with an entire person inside, struggling to survive. Hero society is functionally dependent on illusion.

In Marxist terms: There is no truth, there is only power.

Although Bakugou does change, and I think that while he regrets his actions, what is long overdue is him verbally expressing his remorse, both to himself and Deku. One might argue that he’s tried to do it in ways that are compatible with his limited emotional range of expression, and Deku seems to understand this language implicitly.

I am of the opinion that the narrative is building up to a verbal acknowledgement, confrontation, and subsequent apology that only speaks what has gone unspoken.

That being said, Bakugou is a great example of the way that figures of authority (parents, teachers, adults) and institutions both in the real world and this fictional universe reward violent behavior while also leaving mental and emotional health — both his own and of the people Bakugou hurts — unchecked, and part of the way he lashes out at others is because he was never taught otherwise.

And by that, I’m referring to the ways that are to me, genuinely disturbing. For example, yelling at his friends is chill. But telling someone to kill themselves, even casually and without intent and then misinterpreting everything they do as a ploy to make you feel weak because you're projecting? And having no teachers stop and intervene, either because they are afraid of you or because they value the weight that your Quirk can benefit society over the safety of children? That, to me, is both real and disturbing.

Not only that, but his parents (at least, Mitsuki), respond to his outbursts with more outbursts, and while this is likely the culture of their home and I hesitate to call it abusive, I do think that it contributed to the way that he approaches things. Bakugou as a character is very complex, but I think that he is primarily an example of the way that the Hero System fails people.

I don’t think we can write off the things he’s done, especially using the line of reasoning that “He didn’t mean it that way”, because in real life, children who hurt others rarely mean it like that either, but that doesn’t change the effect it has on the people who are victimized, but to be absolutely fair, I don’t think that the majority of Bakudeku shippers, at least now, do use that line of reasoning. Most of them seem to have a handle on exactly how fucked up the Hero society is, and exactly why it fucks up the people embedded within that society.

The characters are positioned in this way for a reason, and the discoveries made and the development that these characters undergo are meant to reveal more about the fictional world — and, perhaps, our world — as the narrative progresses.

The world of the Hero society is dependent, to some degree, on biopolitics. I don’t think we have enough evidence to suggest that people with Quirks or Quirkless people place enough identity or placement within society to become equivalent to marginalized groups, exactly, but we can draw parallels to the way that Deku and by extent Quirkless people are viewed as weak, a deviation, or disabled in some way. Deviants, or non-productive bodies, are shunned for their inability to perform ideal labor. While it is suggested to Deku that he could become a police officer or pursue some other occupation to help people, he believes that he can do the most positive good as a Hero. In order to be a Hero, however, in the sense of a career, one needs to have Power.

Deviation from the norm will be punished or policed unless it is exploitable; in order to become integrated into society, a deviant must undergo a process of normalization and become a working, exploitable body. It is only through gaining power from All Might that Deku is allowed to assimilate from the margins and into the upper ranks of society; the manga and the anime give the reader enough perspective, context, and examples to allow us to critique and deconstruct the society that is solely reliant on power.

Through his societal privileges, interpersonal biases, internalized complexes, and his subsequent unlearning of these ideologies, Bakugou provides examples of the way that the system simultaneously fails and indoctrinates those who are targeted, neglected, enabled by, believe in, and participate within the system.

Bakudeku are two sides of the same coin. We are shown visually that the crucial turning point and fracture in their relationship is when Bakugou refuses to take Deku’s outstretched hand; the idea of Deku offering him help messes with his adolescent perspective in that Power creates a hierarchy that must be obeyed, and to be helped is to be weak is to be made a loser.

Largely, their character flaws in terms of understanding the hero society are defined and entangled within the concept of power. Bakugou has power, or privilege, but does not have the moral character to use it as a hero, and believes that Power, or winning, is the only way in which to view life. Izuku has a much better grasp on the way in which heroes wield power (their ideologies can, at first, be differentiated as winning vs. saving), and is a worthy successor because of this understanding, and of circumstance. However, in order to become a Hero, our hero must first gain the Power that he lacks, and learn to wield it.

As the characters change, they bridge the gaps of their character deficiencies, and are brought closer together through character parallelism.

Two sides of the same coin, an outstretched hand.

They are better together.

How to Kill Middle Schoolers, and Why We Should

I think it’s fitting that in the manga, a critical part of Bakugou’s arc explicitly alludes to killing the middle school version of himself in order to progress into a young adult. In the alternative covers Horikoshi released, one of them was a close up of Bakugou in his middle school uniform, being stabbed/impaled, with blood rolling out of his mouth. Clearly this references the scene in which he sacrifices himself to save Deku, on a near-instinctual level.

To me, this only cements Horikoshi’s intent that middle school Bakugou must be debunked, killed, discarded, or destroyed in order for Bakugou the hero to emerge, which is why people who do actually excuse his actions or believe that those actions define him into young adulthood don’t really understand the necessity for change, because they seem to imply that he doesn’t need/cannot reach further growth, and there doesn’t need to be a separation between the Bakugou who is, at heart, volatile and repressed the angry, and the Bakugou who sacrifices himself, a hero who saves people.

Plot twist: there does need to be a difference. Further plot twist: there is a difference.

In sacrificing himself for Deku, Bakugou himself doesn't die, but the injury is fatal in the sense that it could've killed him physically and yet symbolizes the selfish, childish part of him that refused to accept Deku, himself, and the inevitability of change. In killing those selfish remnants, he could actually become the kind of hero that we the reader understand to be the true kind.

That’s why I think that a lot of the people who stress his actions as a child without acknowledging the ways he has changed, grown, and tried to fix what he has broken don’t really get it, because it was always part of his character arc to change and purposely become something different and better. If the effects of his worst and his most childish self stick with you more, and linger despite that, that’s okay. But distilling his character down to the wrong elements doesn’t get you the bare essentials; what it gets you is a skewed and shallow version of a person. If you’re okay with that version, that is also fine.

But you can’t condemn others who aren’t fine with that incomplete version, and to become enraged that others do not see him as you do is childish.

Bakugou’s change and the emphasis on that change is canon.

Parallels in Abuse, EnemiesRivals-to-Lovers, and the Necessity of Redemption ft. ATLA’s Zuko

In real life, the idea that “oh, he must bully you because he likes you” is often used as a way to brush aside or to excuse the action of bullying itself, as if a ‘secret crush’ somehow negates the effects of bullying on the victim or the inability of the bully to properly process and manifest their emotions in certain ways. It doesn’t. It often enables young boys to hurt others, and provides figures of authority to overlook the real source of schoolyard bullying or peer review. The “secret crush”, in real life, is used to undermine abuse, justify toxic masculinity, and is essentially used as a non-solution solution.

A common accusation is that Bakudeku shippers jump on the pairing because they romanticize pairing a bully and a victim together, or believe that the only way for Bakugou to atone for his past would be to date Midoryia in the future. This may be true for some people, in which case, that’s their own preference, but based on my experience and what I’ve witnessed, that’s not the case for most.

The difference being is that as these are characters, we as readers or viewers are meant to analyze them. Not to justify them, or to excuse their actions, but we are given the advantage of the outsider perspective to piece their characters together in context, understand why they are how they are, and witness them change; maybe I just haven’t been exposed to enough of the fandom, but no one (I’ve witnessed) treats the idea that “maybe Bakugou has feelings he can’t process or understand and so they manifest in aggressive and unchecked ways'' as a solution to his inability to communicate or process in a healthy way, rather it is just part of the explanation of his character, something is needs to — and is — working through. The solution to his middle school self is not the revelation of a “teehee, secret crush”, but self-reflection, remorse, and actively working to better oneself, which I do believe is canonically reflected, especially as of recently.

In canon, they are written to be partners, better together than apart, and I genuinely believe that one can like the Bakudeku dynamic not by route of romanticization but by observation.

I do think we are meant to see parallels between him and Endeavor; Endeavor is a high profile abuser who embodies the flaws and hypocrisy of the hero system. Bakugou is a schoolyard bully who emulates and internalizes the flaws of this system as a child, likely due to the structure of the society and the way that children will absorb the propaganda they are exposed to; the idea that Quirks, or power, define the inherent value of the individual, their ability to contribute to society, and subsequently their fundamental human worth. The difference between them is the fact that Endeavor is the literal adult who is fully and knowingly active within a toxic, corrupt system who forces his family to undergo a terrifying amount of trauma and abuse while facing little to no consequences because he knows that his status and the values of their society will protect him from those consequences. In other words, Endeavor is the threat of what Bakugou could have, and would have, become without intervention or genuine change.

Comparisons between characters, as parallels or foils, are tricky in that they imply but cannot confirm sameness. Having parallels with someone does not make them the same, by the way, but can serve to illustrate contrasts, or warnings. Harry Potter, for example, is meant to have obvious parallels with Tom Riddle, with similar abilities, and tragic upbringings. That doesn’t mean Harry grows up to become Lord Voldemort, but rather he helps lead a cross-generational movement to overthrow the facist regime. Harry is offered love, compassion, and friends, and does not embrace the darkness within or around him. As far as moldy old snake men are concerned, they do not deserve a redemption arc because they do not wish for one, and the truest of change only occurs when you actively try to change.

To be frank, either way, Bakugou was probably going to become a good Hero, in the sense that Endeavor is a ‘good’ Hero. Hero capitalized, as in a pro Hero, in the sense that it is a career, an occupation, and a status. Because of his strong Quirk, determination, skill, and work ethic, Bakugou would have made a good Hero. Due to his lack of character, however, he was not on the path to become a hero; defender of the weak, someone who saves people to save people, who is willing to make sacrifices detrimental to themselves, who saves people out of love.

It is necessary for him to undergo both a redemption arc and a symbolic death and rebirth in order for him to follow the path of a hero, having been inspired and prompted by Deku.

I personally don’t really like Endeavor’s little redemption arc, not because I don’t believe that people can change or that they shouldn't at least try to atone for the atrocities they have committed, but because within any narrative, a good redemption arc is important if it matters; what also matters is the context of that arc, and whether or not it was needed. For example, in ATLA, Zuko’s redemption arc is widely regarded as one of the best arcs in television history, something incredible. And it is. That shit fucks. In a good way.

It was confirmed that Azula was also going to get a redemption arc, had Volume 4 gone on as planned, and it was tentatively approached in the comics, which are considered canon. She is an undeniably bad person (who is willing to kill, threaten, exploit, and colonize), but she is also a child, and as viewers, we witness and recognize the factors that contributed to her (debatable) sociopathy, and the way that the system she was raised in failed her. Her family failed her; even Uncle Iroh, the wise mentor who helps guide Zuko to see the light, is willing to give up on her immediately, saying that she’s “crazy” and needs to be “put down”. Yes, it’s comedic, and yes, it’s pragmatic, but Azula is fourteen years old. Her mother is banished, her father is a psychopath, and her older brother, from her perspective, betrayed and abandoned her. She doesn’t have the emotional support that Zuko does; she exploits and controls her friends because it’s all she’s been taught to do; she says herself, her “own mother thought [she] was a monster; she was right, of course, but it still [hurts]”. A parent who does not believe in you, or a parent that uses you and will hurt you, is a genuine indicator of trauma.

The writers understood that both Zuko and Azula deserved redemption arcs. One was arguably further gone than the other, but that doesn’t change the fact that they are both children, products of their environment, who have the time, motive, and reason to change.

In contrast, you know who wouldn’t have deserved a redemption arc? Ozai. That simply would not have been interesting, wouldn’t have served the narrative well, and honestly, is not needed, thematically or otherwise. Am I comparing Ozai to Endeavor? Basically, yes. Fuck those guys. I don’t see a point in Endeavor’s little “I want to be a good dad now” arc, and I think that we don’t need to sympathize with characters in order to understand them or be interested in them. I want Touya/Dabi to expose his abuse, for his career to crumble, and then for him to die.

If they are not challenging the system that we the viewer are meant to question, and there is no thematic relevance to their redemption, is it even needed?

On that note, am I saying that Bakugou is the equivalent to Zuko? No, lmao. Definitely not. They are different characters with different progressions and different pressures. What I am saying is that good redemption arcs shouldn’t be handed out like candy to babies; it is the quality, rather than the quantity, that makes a redemption arc good. In terms of the commentary of the narrative, who needs a redemption arc, who is deserving, and who does it make sense to give one to?

In this case, Bakugou checks those boxes. It was always in the cards for him to change, and he has. In fact, he’s still changing.

Give it to Me Straight. It’s Homophobic.

There does seem to be an urge to obsessively gender either Bakugou or Deku, in making Deku the ultra-feminine, stereotypically hyper-sexualized “woman” of the relationship, with Bakugou becoming similarly sexualized but depicted as the hyper-masculine bodice ripper. On some level, that feels vaguely homophobic if not straight up misogynistic, in that in a gay relationship there’s an urge to compel them to conform under heteronormative stereotypes in order to be interpreted as real or functional. On one hand, I will say that in a lot of cases it feels like more of an expression of a kink, or fetishization and subsequent expression of internalized misogyny, at least, rather than a genuine exploration of the complexity and power imbalances of gender dynamics, expression, and boundaries.

That being said, I don’t think that that problematic aspect of shipping is unique to Bakudeku, or even to the fandom in general. We’ve all read fan work or see fanart of most gay ships in a similiar manner, and I think it’s a broader issue to be addressed than blaming it on a singular ship and calling it a day.

One interpretation of Bakugou’s character is his repression and the way his character functions under toxic masculinity, in a society’s egregious disregard for mental and emotional health (much like in the real world), the horrifying ways in which rage is rationalized or excused due to the concept of masculinity, and the way that characteristics that are associated with femininity — intellect, empathy, anxiety, kindness, hesitation, softness — are seen as stereotypically “weak”, and in men, traditionally emasculating. In terms of the way that the fictional universe is largely about societal priority and power dynamics between individuals and the way that extends to institutions, it’s not a total stretch to guess that gender as a construct is a relevant topic to expand on or at least keep in mind for comparison.

I think that the way in which characters are gendered and the extent to which that is a result of invasive heteronormativity and fetishization is a really important conversation to have, but using it as a case-by-case evolution of a ship used to condemn people isn’t conductive, and at that point, it’s treated as less of a real concern but an issue narrowly weaponised.

Love in Perspective, from the East v. West

Another thing I think could be elaborated on and written about in great detail is the way that the Eastern part of the fandom and the Western part of the fandom have such different perspectives on Bakudeku in particular. I am not going to go in depth with this, and there are many other people who could go into specifics, but just as an overview:

The manga and the anime are created for and targeted at a certain audience; our take on it will differ based on cultural norms, decisions in translation, understanding of the genre, and our own region-specific socialization. This includes the way in which we interpret certain relationships, the way they resonate with us, and what we do and do not find to be acceptable. Of course, this is not a case-by-case basis, and I’m sure there are plenty of people who hold differing beliefs within one area, but speaking generally, there is a reason that Bakudeku is not regarded as nearly as problematic in the East.

Had this been written by a Western creator, marketed primarily to and within the West (for reference, while I am Chinese, but I have lived in the USA for most of my life, so my own perspective is undoubtedly westernized), I would’ve immediately jumped to make comparisons between the Hero System and the American police system, in that a corrupt, or bastardized system is made no less corrupt for the people who do legitimately want to do good and help people, when that system disproportionately values and targets others while relying on propaganda that society must be reliant on that system in order to create safe communities when in reality it perpetuates just as many issues as it appears to solve, not to mention the way it attracts and rewards violent and power-hungry people who are enabled to abuse their power. I think comparisons can still be made, but in terms of analysis, it should be kept in mind that the police system in other parts of the world do not have the same history, place, and context as it does in America, and the police system in Japan, for example, probably wasn’t the basis for the Hero System.

As much as I do believe in the Death of the Author in most cases, the intent of the author does matter when it comes to content like this, if merely on the basis that it provides context that we may be missing as foreign viewers.

As far as the intent of the author goes, Bakugou is on a route of redemption.

He deserves it. It is unavoidable. That, of course, may depend on where you’re reading this.

Stuck in the Sludge, the Past, and Season One

If there’s one thing, to me, that epitomizes middle school Bakugou, it’s him being trapped in a sludge monster, rescued by his Quirkless childhood friend, and unable to believe his eyes. He clings to the ideology he always has, that Quirkless means weak, that there’s no way that Deku could have grown to be strong, or had the capacity to be strong all along. Bakugou is wrong about this, and continuously proven wrong. It is only when he accepts that he is wrong, and that Deku is someone to follow, that he starts his real path to heroics.

If Bakudeku’s relationship does not appeal to someone for whatever reason, there’s nothing wrong with that. They can write all they want about why they don’t ship it, or why it bothers them, or why they think it’s problematic. If it is legitimately triggering to you, then by all means, avoid it, point it out, etc. but do not undermine the reality of abuse simply to point fingers, just because you don’t like a ship. People who intentionally use the anti tag knowing it’ll show up in the main tag, go after people who are literally minding their own business, and accuse people of supporting abuse are the ones looking for a fight, and they’re annoying as hell because they don’t bring anything to the table. No evidence, no analysis, just repeated projection.

To clarify, I’m referring to a specific kind of shipper, not someone who just doesn’t like a ship, but who is so aggressive about it for absolutely no reason. There are plenty of very lovely people in this fandom, who mind their own business, multipship, or just don’t care.

Calling shippers dumb or braindead or toxic (to clarify, this isn’t targeting any one person I’ve seen, but a collective) based on projections and generalizations that come entirely from your own impression of the ship rather than observation is...really biased to me, and comes across as uneducated and trigger happy, rather than constructive or helpful in any way.

I’m not saying someone has to ship anything, or like it, in order to be a ‘good’ participant. But inserting derogatory material into a main tag, and dropping buzzwords with the same tired backing behind it without seeming to understand the implications of those words or acknowledging the development, pacing, and intentional change to the characters within the plot is just...I don’t know, it comes across as redundant, to me at least, and very childish. Aggressive. Toxic. Problematic. Maybe the real toxic shippers were the ones who bitched and moaned along the way. They’re like little kids, stuck in the past, unable to visualize or recognize change, and I think that’s a real shame because it’s preventing them from appreciating the story or its characters as it is, in canon.

But that’s okay, really. To each their own. Interpretations will vary, preferences differ, perspectives are not uniform. There is no one truth. There are five seasons of the show, a feature film, and like, thirty volumes as of this year.

All I’m saying is that if you want to stay stuck in the first season of each character, then that’s what you’re going to get. That’s up to you.

This may be edited or revised.

[maiikawriter]

You’re an amazing writer, and it’s frustrating that you don’t get the recognition that you deserve. 💔 Also, would you ever do writing commissions?

Thank you for the compliment about my writing but your misplaced frustration has compelled me to use this ask to go off on a little rant here.

I have had that recognition.

I have been writing in fandom for a long time now. I’ve put out stories that have gone barely-noticed, both when starting out when my quality was frankly bad and even now when my writing quality is exactly where I want it to be ☺️. I have put out fics that turned into the big thing everyone was talking about in a ship fandom at the time they were ongoing. I have put out stories that had a small, but still very engaged following. The thing I’ve realized from these experiences is fulfillment from posting does not come from numbers. Yes, it increases the chances of people engaging when there are more people to notice the work, but I have had some recent fics with thousands of readers and only a handful leaving any commentary. Those experiences of posting had nothing on my less popular fics with a handful of followers who were there every chapter, telling me why they were engaged and excited for the next part of the story.

This blog is only a couple followers shy of 1800. 1800!🥳 But back when it was around maybe 400, 500? My followers interacted so much more! They reblogged my posts. They sent asks without being prompted to do so. They gushed about their headcanons to me in my inbox. (And yes, a lot of anons even sent hate to my inbox but I didn’t even mind that bc when I answered, my followers and mutuals would come out in full force to support me!) I knew you guys were alive and saw me. My posts weren’t just getting swept under the social media rug whenever I posted things. Maybe everyone’s not online as much to interact recently and maybe I’ve scared the active followers away by expanding this blog’s interests into…pffff six fandoms now? But it’s that interaction that I’m missing and it’s the interaction that drives me to post and share new works online.

I’d much rather see a reblog of my art with interesting tags or a comment in my Ao3 inbox than an ask that says, ‘I’m sorry you’re not getting the recognition you deserve’ (and Anon, for all I know, you’re one of the few people reblogging and commenting these days and to you and those few others, thank you for that).

When you create a lot of works, there will always be those works that fall under the radar, no matter how wonderful and loyal your supporters are. I don’t expect anyone to keep up with my production speed. I put things out fast. But when they do read or enjoy seeing my art, I appreciate knowing how it made them feel. I like to know I brought a little joy or excitement to someone’s life by sharing it rather than being left to wonder. And likewise, I love leaving commentary when I read fics that made me feel things and when I see art that just makes me want to keep coming back to it.

On another note, I write what I want to read, but the longer I’ve been in fandom, the more I’ve learned how different what I want now is from what the majority wants. I write the things I love and will re-read my stories because they really are what I’m looking for from fanfiction, but they’re not what everyone is looking for and I’m not going to start writing or drawing differently to pander to popular tropes or characters. I’d be bored to tears quite honestly.

As far as commissions go, I have taken them in the past and I’m always open to the possibility. I have a ko-fi here. If you want to send a ko-fi with a request, that’s the way I’ve done it in the past, but those would only be used for oneshots. If it’s along the lines of what you’ve seen me write, I’ll take it. I don’t do x readers, ocs, or incest/underage, for basic guidelines. I’m flattered that you even asked, so thank you and don’t feel obligated to follow through unless it’s an idea you really want, bc like creating, commissioning is so much more rewarding when there’s real desire/inspiration behind it.

[spacelasagna]

Yes please! I would love to read a lot of your headcanons that you created about this School Rivalry AU. I love your art and it makes me happy that more people like you are supporting this ship that is very cute. Thank you for your art and your support. 🛸🎸💙

Muchas gracias 💕

First of all, you made me tear up with your kindness, so I hope you’re proud of yourself for that, you sweet person!!! It makes me even more happy that it makes you happy! I love our small krexie fandom full of nice supportive people such as yourself; before creating this blog I didn’t feel much like drawing at all and it was torture. When I say I’m grateful for having a chance to make content for toa’s fans (and for other fandoms hopefully too in the future cause I’ve been consuming pop culture like crazy these past few months), I mean it. So, above all: thank you for reaching out! <3

Truth is, that particular fanart started with me misinterpreting the assignment, haha. I had this idea for Krel and Douxie being rivals, like having this whole enemies to maybe-friends to lovers dynamic since early childhood, bantering, arguing half the time they spend together and getting under each other’s skin easily. I even started writing a fic for it, with them meeting in kindergarten and somehow always ending up in same schools/classes, sworn rivals since forever. Then I saw your ask at krexieweek with some concepts to use and I was like “wait, did I misunderstood the whole prompt???” and yeah, I did, so I had to quickly come up with something else xd

And now that I’ve seen people being interested in hearing more about kicker!Douxie and cheerleader!Krel I’ll be happy to oblige and I’ll share some headcanons soon! ❤️ (as soon as I edit them because for me English=hard)

Also since you asked so nicely in your tags for more art in this AU I promise I’ll draw something, I’m that easy. ( ˘ ³˘)♥

[bobataeminsuga]

thoughts on kaeluc? /gen

ohohoho getting political in my ask box now hm?

now before I state my opinion i just want everyone to know that you are free to block me if you disagree or anything. this might be a little long so brace yourself

in summary: i literally do not care.

i dont ship kaeluc/luckae, but im not one to hate on a ship or hate anyone because of a ship. i’ll find fanart of the ship and i’ll be like “oh thats cute/the art is really good,” like it, maybe reblog. im on a very neutral level here.

do not harass people online. thats it. thats the short and simple way of saying it.

personally, i see them as sworn brothers. thats how kaeya and diluc are referred to in the original, chinese version of the game and stories. which is not equivalent to adopted brothers. its a kind of like found family, friends who are close enough to admire each other, die for each other even, as if they were brothers, from my understanding of it. now i dont want to ramble about cultural differences and the meaning of sworn brothers so please do your research on that - im not chinese so im not the greatest source for this and am still learning about it myself. feel free to correct me if you are chinese and have a better understanding of this!

now in no way do i support incest. if you think that this ship promotes incest then feel free to block creators, accounts, and tags for this ship, you have no obligation to keep them unblocked. if you feel like its necessary to harass real people because of this ship, you’re better off blocking them. please take a minute to take into consideration what you’re actually doing by harassing these real people. have you changed anything? have you put an end to real life incest? have you saved anyone? did you make anyone’s day better? no? then don’t do it. it’s unnecessary and i hate how this fandom in particular has such a hard time understanding that.

ships do not define people.

many kaeluc shippers have their reasons for not seeing kaeya and diluc as brothers and all the kaeluc shippers i know are anti-incest when it happens to real people in real life.

i’ve met super nice people who ship kaeluc. they’re super chill and even towards antis they still try to respond nicely, but when they get harassed tons of times they get fed up and may start acting rudely.

i have never seen kaeluc/proshippers ever say “kaebedo shippers should die” “antis can k word themselves” “im going to start blaming all my problems on chiluc shippers” etc... they just ask to dni if youre an anti

call me a proshipper, tell me i deserve to die, idc idc, i do not ship this ship but im not completely against it. im just so fed up with this type of discourse in this fandom and if you feel the need to attack/harass/threaten people online for this then please for the love of God block me. seriously, i will not take any offense from it, i’ll understand. otherwise i will block you instead.

[wolfstar-in-color]

Creator’s spotlight: alifeincoffeespoons

It’s September and our fourth Creator’s Spotlight is here! We are so happy to share with you today the thoughts of a wonderful creator: @alifeincoffeespoons. We’ve rec’ed her fic Sirius and Harry go to Whitecastle here and we did the description for one of her artworks here (which includes the rec of some mitski songs!!).

As usual, here you have one of our favorite quotes of the interview, and under the cut you can read the full interview!

“Remus and Sirius understand each other on a level that few other characters in the series do. They have so many shared experiences and so much history, and there’s so many different ways to write them as a result. They are also foils, but somehow also a matched pair — they move in sync so easily.”

alifeincoffeespoons prompt: “It’s a rare sunny day when Remus sees Sirius, for the first time in three years, and he has to resist the urge to call emergency services immediately and announce that he needs to be hospitalized on account of a broken heart.”

Q: Tell us a bit about yourself

A: My Tumblr username is alifeincoffeespoons (inspired by Eliot’s “The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock”) and I go by spellingmynamewrong on AO3. I’d probably be considered part of Gen Z, and I’m Asian-American, which inspires a lot of my work. I usually create works of writing, though I also dabble in fanart occasionally. I’m a fan of both modern and canon divergent AUs; I’ll write canon compliant content occasionally but not very often, given how tragic canon is. 

Q:How did you start creating in the fandom? What did you wish to bring into the fandom?

A: I started writing back in middle school, and I’ve been reading and writing fanworks on-and-off since then. My first work of fanfiction was for Harry Potter too, although I didn’t start writing for Wolfstar until later on. I want to write works that make people think more deeply about — and even critique — the existing world of Harry Potter. There are a lot of deeply problematic aspects of the original work, as we all know, and I think we have an obligation as creators to call them out and demonstrate why they are so problematic.

Q: What things about Sirius/Remus as characters or in their relationship inspire you to create around them?

A: Remus and Sirius understand each other on a level that few other characters in the series do. They have so many shared experiences and so much history, and there’s so many different ways to write them as a result. They are also foils, but somehow also a matched pair — they move in sync so easily.

Q: What things would you like to highlight about the Wolfstar fandom and your experience in it?

A: It’s such an expansive fandom! That’s one thing that’s dawned on me over time — it has so, so much history, and so many individuals are or have been involved in it. 

Q: What type of content do you wish you saw more in the fandom?

A: I’d love to see more content that deals with the historical circumstances of the wider world around them — I’m a big sucker for historical fiction and real-world context. If we’re going for a particular sort of story, I’d love to see more superhero AUs. Also, a Good Omens AU. I saw fanart for it once and it’s never left my mind. There are so, so many possibilities there. 

Q: What is your favourite wolfstar fan content (fic/fanart/gifset/etc) and how does it inspire you?

A: This is so hard to choose! Let’s go with some tropes instead — I love fix-it fics, and I also find canon divergent AUs very interesting, particularly ones that involve giving Harry a better life. I’m also a big fan of Modern AUs, though. I also love humor — whether that be a full-on humor fic or just one with humor interspersed lovingly throughout.

Q: Which of your own identities inform your creative processes? How has that process been for you?

A: My Asian-American identity likely informs my creative process the most. There are so few Asian characters represented in media still, particularly fan-created content, and I’d like to see that changed. What I usually do is incorporate small details that can feel universal but also give readers an insight into a particular culture — usually through food or similarly common experiences. It comes fairly naturally, actually, since I often write about Asian or Asian-American characters in my original fiction as well.

Q: What advice do you have for other content creators with diverse backgrounds in the fandom? What would you say to people that might feel they don’t have the “right” experience to participate in the creation of content related to Wolfstar?

A: If you’re comfortable, definitely share your experiences — we always need more diverse voices in fandom. I don’t think there’s any particular history or characteristic you need to be an active participant in Wolfstar fandom. 

Q: How could we build a more diverse fandom?

A: Firstly, by seeking out and supporting content that features characters with diverse backgrounds. Secondly, by calling out rhetoric that marginalizes diverse creators. Thirdly, by doing our best to do better ourselves.

Q: What’s your favorite thing to modify in Sirius’s or Remus’s characterizations to bring new perspectives to them?

A: I’ve often written Sirius as Asian, mostly because I think it truly does add another layer to his characterization. I’ve explained some of my reasoning behind that in this Tumblr post I wrote eons ago. I often also write Remus as Jewish — I saw this headcanon a long time ago and it’s stuck with me since. My characterizations of them are always shifting, though, and I’m sure they will continue to over time.

Q: What does diversity mean to you? What does that encompass in fannish spaces?

A: Diversity doesn’t just mean including a POC in your work or an LGBTQ character; it means giving them meaningful, non-stereotypical narratives and characterization. In fan spaces, that means supporting creators from diverse backgrounds and works featuring well-written, diverse characters. It also means, as a creator, doing research on the cultural backgrounds of characters you are writing about, particularly if you do not belong to that culture yourself.

Q: Is there a resource you would recommend for fans to read when it comes to learning about diversity?

A: If you’re interested in learning more about Asian-American culture and diversity in particular through literature, two memoirs I read recently and enjoyed were Cathy Park Hong’s Minor Feelings and Michelle Zauner’s Crying in H-Mart. I think they give insight into the Asian-American experience and are also incredibly moving. There are lots of resources for writing out there, on Tumblr, Reddit, and elsewhere. Also, sensitivity readers, if you are a writer, are critical. 

Q: Is there a project/organization that you want to hype?

A: Given what’s been happening in Texas and in countless other states across the U.S. — horrific attacks on bodily autonomy and the right to choose — please donate to Planned Parenthood.

Q: Any cause that you want fans to know about so that they can support it?

A: Rental assistance — the Supreme Court recently struck down Biden’s eviction moratorium. If anyone you know is at risk of being evicted, please direct them to local and state rental assistance programs (a tool to search for them: https://www.consumerfinance.gov/coronavirus/mortgage-and-housing-assistance/renter-protections/find-help-with-rent-and-utilities/).

Q: Leave us with a quote or work of art that always inspires you.

A: Whenever I need to write, I’ll put on a Phoebe Bridgers song if it’s a sad section I’m writing, and if it’s a relatively happier section, I’ll put on a NIKI song. Other artists that inspire me: Mitski, Lorde, Lucy Dacus, Taylor Swift, Lily Allen, and Lizzo.

[floweroflaurelin]

Your art is simply awe-inspiring, everything you post is a masterpiece and I love seeing your stuff every time it is on my dash! Are you planning on doing portraits of all of the Empires SMP characters, and are you planning on doing different fandoms as well? (If I recall correctly weren't you originally a lotr blog?) Lots of love ❤️

Asjfsjnfskfs gosh wow !!! I really appreciate that, I’m so so glad you like my art. Especially the portraits! Honestly that’s a good question, whether I plan to do them all—I don’t plan to, exactly, because they’re just something easy to keep me occupied while I’m sick in bed with the plague and I don’t want to actually make them a commitment that I feel obligated to finish if I lose interest. That being said I’ve got more than half of them done so I feel like it’ll probably happen for the sake of having a complete set, y’know? Im not doing them in any specific order, just whoever happens to catch my fancy, and I know what colour background I’d put all the remaining rulers on… So I feel like I’ll most likely get all twelve posted here at some point either way. As for other fandoms, I’m not sure! I do really enjoy making portraits but with school starting again this week I’ll probably have to post less frequently soon. Then again, I did something like 25 paintings for fun while balancing last semester’s workload and my job, so we’ll see ;D I’m a fast painter.

[yukipri]

So you're not making One Piece art anymore? Or is it gonna be a 10 SW-1 OP-10 SW thing?

AHAHAHA I'm so sorry, I know you probably meant this seriously, but for me the idea of knowing what I'll draw 10 posts ahead is rather hilarious ^ ^;;; Anon I'm barely floating with my head above water here! ^ ^;;

All I can say is I'll draw OP if the mood strikes! I'll draw SW if the mood strikes. I'll draw other things too if I get a spark! That's just sorta how I roll ^ ^; And right now, that SW mood is striking really hard!

(I used to keep forcing myself to draw for a fandom long after my own spark vanished out of a feeling of obligation towards followers who may not interact anyway and...well, it often lead to me starting to see a fandom I used to love as something holding me back, and it made me bitter towards it. That was dumb, because now I have no interest in ever going back to those fandoms. So now I'll apologize to my followers for my fickle mind, but I'll draw what I want, so there's no bitterness and I can draw again if/when the mood strikes!)

The reason why I feel super motivated to draw SW rn...is because some of my art has been getting an insane (by my standards) amount of interaction, the likes of which I just assumed no longer existed on Tumblr. I honestly didn't intend to draw more Star Wars; I just meant to post a few clone doodles, then be on my way! But the way people reacted to those doodles...I haven't seen reblogs/tag comments like this in years, and I keep on reading over the comments/tags again and again and they make me want to cry ;_;. In the end, I'm just a sad, desperate little creature seeking validation, and that was enough for me to draw again, and again, and now my head's sorta stuck in the SW loop ^ ^;

This rant probably wasn't what you were looking for, but I just wanted to explain how I end up moving between fandoms and why I continue things or don't. I'm just tryin' to enjoy fandom and get the spark to draw things that make people happy ^ ^

❀ ❀ Send YukiPri an Ask! ❀ ❀

[captainkirbypunch]

My love has left tumblr once again.

As many of you may know, the account under the name MDZADR, has left tumblr. They felt unsafe in their fandom, and as such have deleted their tumblr and AO3 account due to the bad memories linked to them.

As a part of their departure, they have asked me to post something in their name, as follows.

If you want more details about how I came to this realization, continue to read. If not, here is your summary:

TL;DR: For the safety and health of this fandom, I wanted to spread the word that Mooping-10 is filled with people who absolutely cannot be trusted, creating a very hazardous environment for the zadr community, and MelodyoftheVoid is connected to all of those people, living a double life amongst those of us that don’t “ship zadr correctly.” She has plenty of friends her inner circle knows nothing about, and nobody on either side knows who she really is. 

Full story below.

I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye. Nobody did anything to me today, but this just wasn’t worth it.

My AO3 and tumblr are both gone. I didn’t say goodbye because I didn’t want to look like an attention seeker.

Here’s the thing. I wasn’t going to name drop, but you guys need to know the truth. I’m instructing my boyfriend (hi y’all) to turn asks off for his own safety after this because this is going to be a nightmare, but... allow me to tell you the full story. I’ll try to break up the text so it’s less difficult to read, but this is important. I’m sorry to air discourse so publicly, but please... I need you to listen to me.

I’ll start from the beginning, without being vague anymore about who “she” is. I request that you please read the whole thing and not skip parts of it. The whole story matters.

I finally returned to the fandom about two months or so ago. As I’ve mentioned, I don’t do well in my thoughts while left alone too long, so I posted saying I would stop messaging people I knew because I didn’t want to bother them. There were only two people I was talking to at the time, but one of them is famous so I didn’t want to message her directly saying that. Doing so would have put her in a position of feeling obligated to say “you’re not bothering me” rather than just simply being able to sigh with relief from no longer being contacted. 

But the first person to contact me was the famous person, and she asked if I was okay, and told me she liked talking to me.

God, I actually cried.

But, that’s just her. Melodyofthevoid is the type of person to talk to people in the fandom, totally unaware of her demigod status. She comments on stories, interacts on posts, messages first... a pillar of kindness, so it seemed.

But let the story continue.

Over time, we were talking more often. 

Mostly sending memes (cause everyone I knew, myself included, aren’t exactly great at holding conversations. No shade. Memes are a love language). I was still in the hero worship stage of our relationship, so my view of her was that that was perfect.

Now, let me bridge a connection with a new story idea I got around December 28th or so, and my thinking she was perfect.

I had recently finished watching Madoka and questioned “If I had magical powers, what would they be?” It then turned into its own story idea, basing creators’ powers around the strengths and weaknesses in creations. I actually realized “oh fuck. My stuff is incoherent. My friends’ works aren’t too different...”

Thus spawned the name “Incoherent” for the project.

What does that have to do with this? Well, here’s the thing that really fucked everything up quickly. 

This was not on purpose, because originally the project (which I had told nobody of yet at the time) was all about improving your works, making platonic friends, dressing our personas in cute outfits, and writing fun magic.

While listening to music and thinking of the story one day, my brain accidentally shipped my persona with hers, and I couldn’t unsee it. And I’m lousy at keeping my own secrets (other’s are different) so she found out on probably day one or two about my weird crush because of an ask meme of all things. 

She didn’t try to put me off any, which was another problem for future things to come, and so I decided that since Incoherent was finally making me feel alive again and feeling the euphoric feelings of love wouldn’t hurt anything (I figured they’d mellow out on their own eventually because that’s how infatuation works) since they helped fuel my inspiration, and then we would just continue from friends to better friends one day and this part of our lives would be over.

Besides, the forbidden is attractive somehow, and makes stories more entertaining. She’s aro/ace, so I had no chance anyway. Someone safe to crush on, in her own way.

This isn’t a story of a love betrayal however. There was no such thing. But it’s important to the story because Incoherent is where my mistakes were made, and hers brought to light.

By this time, I had a handful of people I was talking to, and I created a discord server for the project. Only my boyfriend (hi!) and I were in it at the time. I was not-so-subtly asking my friends what they’d look like if they were a magical person, what their names would be... I thought I would have had to lure Melody in to make her want to join us, but I managed to get her in very easily. Everyone was happy and excited! It was a no obligation, no time limit thing for us to enjoy, a little sandbox to play around in. 

Sure there were plans to make it bigger and I was working on art to the best of my ability, but it was gonna be a fun thing mostly. No pressure on anyone.

And how things started becoming a problem was that the rest of us posted publicly about the project and interacted with each other’s posts relating to the story, but she had started to interact publicly less and less with our things, and everyone noticed it.

It wasn’t because we were greedy and wanted the popular girl to reblog our things. It’s because we had a feeling she was ashamed of being seen publicly with us. The reason we were worried before then and started making that connection was because I mentioned I was going to ask another user if they were interested in joining Incoherent. Melody was the only one that seemed uncomfortable, and I messaged her asking about it. We agreed I wouldn’t invite that person but I knew things were off about it.

That person is like me. How long until Melody didn’t want to talk to me anymore? A few days ago, the other shoe finally dropped. A member of our little group and I were talking and (let’s call them Friend for simplicity. They asked to not be name dropped here) Friend was worried they had made Melody upset by tagging her in a meme picture they drew of her persona, and the two had agreed that Friend remove the tag. This spawned an anxiety-filled conversation where Friend and I expressed our concerns about Melody not interacting with the project, or us.

So since I wanted reassurance that that wasn’t the case, I messaged Melody with my concerns. I told her I had the feeling she was ashamed of being seen in public with us because of her friends, and she didn’t refute me. She simply told me to go get some rest. I messaged back with “I’m right.”

I deleted Discord off my phone for hours and nearly deleted my Tumblr, AO3, and the server after my boyfriend helped pass messages between us. Melody confessed that was the case because her friends expressed discomfort with my works, and she was playing both sides.

Her words, not mine.

Melody told me she would be withdrawing from the Incoherent project because it wasn’t fair to us if her heart wasn’t in it.

She didn’t stand up on my behalf when they said things about me. Her friends are the type who talk behind creators’ backs for shipping zadr “incorrectly.” Worse than antis because they actually participate in the “pro-shipping” side of the fandom. I broke that day and messaged her at 3 am.

We finally spoke at 3pm. We both missed each other. I tried to understand more. I wanted it to be more like a conversation rather than an interrogation. It was only one-sided however, and she never opened up further. And I made some mistakes and poor choices of words, and we ended up parting ways permanently right there. 

I nearly deleted everything, but much like a coma patient attached to many machines on a hospital bed, my blog was kept alive a little longer by people sending kind words in droves. I was briefly fuelled by spite, wishing to watch the world burn by making everyone on the "correct" side of the fandom upset by posting the worst, most vile content this fandom has ever seen.

I was also welcomed with open arms by a very kind server with fellow degenerates, all of them screaming and crying and partying when they managed to get me in their server. It was so heartwarming...

But as I spoke to others about my situation, I realized something. A disturbing pattern.

People telling me horror stories about how Mooping-10 was cult-like. How the people running it were antis. I was even told once that they have a secondary server where they go to have their talks and do their work, likely the place where the real bashing is held.

The server itself has rules against such behavior, but I suppose it's different when they do it.

One person (and this is the most unnerving part for me, personally) told me Melody actually set off alarm bells in their head without having even done anything yet, and the most disturbing part of the story was that one of the moderators was afraid and upset because they got Covid, and received basically no moral support at all. Only getting told "spoiler that. Sorry you got Covid".

I was horrified. That server has 100 people in it. How many of them are the same? They act like popular kids in school who picked up an unpopular main character and then bash others, and the main character joined in because they don't want to be left behind by their new "friends".

To put it short, back to my point:

TL;DR: I simply only wanted to spread the word that: Mooping-10 is filled with people who absolutely cannot be trusted, creating a very hazardous environment for the zadr community, and Melodyofthevoid is connected to all of those people, living a double life amongst those of us that don't "ship zadr correctly". She has plenty of friends her inner circle knows nothing about, and nobody on either side knows who she really is.