#I feel like an adult needed to get these two morons to progress their conversation LOL

[skyloftian-nutcase]

age of calamity prompt: mipha and link post water & fire mission? 👀

With all his strength, training, and the benefits of youth, there were few times Link truly ever felt absolutely exhausted. It had happened far more frequently in the last year, what with all the monster attacks making everyone feel like they were in all out war.

But now that war had actually arrived, Link learned a new level of exhaustion, born from a worry so deep in his heart and soul that he didn’t even know what to do with it.

When Ganon had taken control of all the technology they’d worked so hard to learn and utilize, it had been such a defilement that Link’s blood had boiled with rage while his heart froze with fear. His, Zelda’s, and Impa’s determination helped them push through, of course, and he’d hardly had time to truly register any of his emotions once they’d started moving once more.

He remembered the heart stopping terror as the initial realization hit him though. He remembered feeling his breath utterly stolen away in a dread, a knowledge that the capital was falling, he and Zelda were in danger, his family was in danger, the Champions were trapped—that Mipha was trapped, and, for one moment, he thought he was absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

But he wasn’t powerless. They’d gotten there in time, they’d saved Mipha.

But it had been close. Hylia, it had been close. She’d looked absolutely exhausted - if it hadn’t been for Terrako’s magic, for that man—Sidon, he reminded himself, marveling at how the little fledgling could turn into such a massive Zora—then Mipha would have… would have…

She’d barely had the words to even acknowledge him when he’d finally gotten there. And he’d had to rush off to save Daruk as well.

Now that all the Champions were safe, Link felt himself on the verge of collapse. Zelda was trying to rest, instead worrying and mourning. Link felt awful for her - despite all the lives they’d saved, after all, she’d still lost her father. Link’s own father had barely escaped Castle Town and was recovering.

But now their friends were together once more, Divine Beasts ready for a counterattack. They were all impatient to do so much, to fight back now, even Link, willing to push through his exhaustion and end this.

There was no way they could fight right at this moment, though. Even Link couldn’t. But what he did want to do was check on Mipha. He’d been with Zelda, trying to keep her company, and with his father, but his heart was aching and worrying for the Zora princess as well.

After all she was… she was his friend.

Goddess, he couldn’t really lie to himself anymore. She was far more than a friend to him, and he’d almost lost her.

Link dragged his feet towards the palace. Of the four locations they’d helped free from Ganon’s hold, Zora’s Domain was the most fortified and therefore the safest, so it is where the majority of them were staying to recover until they could plan things out better in the morning. Mipha had been whisked away by her people upon exiting Van Ruta, and Link hadn’t seen her since.

He was allowed easy access to the palace, having visited Mipha multiple times and befriended her family (or, really, King Dorephan had essentially adopted him, he was so charismatically extroverted). The older Prince Sidon was excitedly talking to the king, missing Link entirely for he moment and giving him a chance to sneak into Mipha’s room.

He knocked, clearing his throat nervously (he wanted to see her, genuinely, but going to her bedroom seemed… inappropriate). Initially he heard nothing, and he worried a little more, cracking the door and calling her name softly. Silence was the answer, and he finally peeked around the door to see an empty room.

Where was she? Her family wasn’t distressed at all, so she couldn’t be in worse shape than he thought, right? Did they even know she wasn’t in here?

Link walked into the room quietly, closing the door behind him, examining everything. Mipha’s jewelry was on her little vanity - she always wore it when she went out, unless…

The one time Link saw her without her jewelry was when they’d agreed to sneak out at night - she’d commented that at the least, the headdress was too noisy for such a venture.

Wait. Surely she didn’t…

Narrowing his eyes, Link moved towards the window by the shallow waters where she likely rested. Looking out, he could just make out the area they’d designated for triaging the injured.

He had a funny feeling he knew where she was. Link climbed out of the window, crawling along the side of the palace so he could avoid scrutiny, and then hastily made his way back to the medical encampment. He saw a flesh of red, and he followed it to…

His father’s bed. Where Mipha sat, hands glowing, slowly working on healing his wounds. For his part, Link’s father was fast asleep, having been just as exhausted as everyone else - it was why Link had gone to be with Zelda and comfort her, as he’d felt fairly useless hovering anxiously over the man.

Mipha seemed to notice the scrutiny and glanced up, jumping, startled. “Link!”

He was relieved to see her on her feet, so relieved. After their last encounter—goddess, she looked so much better.

But she was still tired. So, inevitably, the first thing out of his mouth was, “Why aren’t you resting?”

He wanted to kick himself. He should be thanking her for looking after his father, asking her how she’s feeling instead of just scolding her.

But he was scared, tired, and angry too - why didn’t Mipha ever let herself get a break?

The entire situation was crashing down on him, and he didn’t know wha to do with all the emotions he was feeling. He didn’t want to take them out on Mipha, though, so he tried to keep his mouth shut and was nearly mortified to instead feel his eyes stinging with tears of frustration.

The magic glowing over his father subsided, and Mipha hugged herself a little insecurely. “I… I’d already been unable to assist any of the other Champions. I was resting, Link, but when I saw so many injured coming in, I knew the others would need help.”

“You were unable to help because you’d almost died,” Link argued, his voice shaking. “Everyone almost died.”

Mipha swallowed, easily reading how close Link was to falling apart. She clearly was shaken as well—he could only imagine what it felt like to have been so close to death. He saw his friend bite her lip uncertainly, hands wringing in front of her. “T-they did. I… Link, I promised… I promised I’d protect you, and I almost failed.”

Link felt his breath get stolen away. She… he didn’t know what to say, only that he wanted to tell her over and over that this wasn’t somehow her fault.

“I knew,” Mipha continued quietly, and now her own voice shook. “I… I figured I would be the weakest Champion. I was prepared to die if it was to happen. But… I…”

Mipha sniffled, inhaling steadily to try and calm herself, closing her eyes. Link moved towards her in an instant, dragging her into a hug.

His mind and heart were screaming.

What kind of thing was that to say - I figured I would be the weakest Champion, was prepared to die—had Mipha truly expected not to survive the encounter with Ganon? Yet she’d pushed forward anyway, had promised to protect and heal Link—

He didn’t know what to say, what to do, how to feel. He was horrified and terrified and felt so awful for her, he wanted to hold her for the rest of his life and tell her over and over that she had done nothing wrong, that she was an incredible fighter, that he would protect her. Mipha was trembling in his arms, crying quietly, finally letting her own stress out, and Link found himself crying too.

Words came forth before he knew what he was saying, genuine and raw and desperate to be heard. “I love you.”

Mipha’s sniffles turned to outright sobs, and she slid her arms around him. Link rested his head atop hers, cheek pressed against smooth scales, tears slowly sliding downward.

“Link, I—I’m s-sorry—”

Please don’t be.

“We’re at w-war—and I—”

“I know,” he whispered.

He let her cry for a while longer, he let himself cry. He was too drained to figure out how to proceed, to worry about protocol or anything of the sort. He just wanted to be with her, to comfort her and let her hold him in return. He wanted this nightmare to be over, and for a moment, it was just them.

As their tears slowed, the pair slowly, hesitantly pulled apart.

Mipha spoke first, trying to get a hold of herself. “Thank you… thank you for saving me on Vah Ruta.”

Goddess, did she even need to thank him for such a thing? He countered, “Thank you for healing me so many times, for always being there. I… Mipha, I’ll always protect you. I promise.”

Mipha watched him a moment, smiling as a blush stained her white cheeks red. She looked down at her hands, suddenly seeming to remember her usually far more shy nature. “Did… did you mean it…?”

Link blinked, confused. “Mean—why wouldn’t I mean—”

“O-oh, no!” Mipha interrupted, waving her hands. “I mean—I know you would protect me, Link, we’re friends after all, and you’re a Hero and—”

Oh. He knew what she was asking.

Of… of course he meant it. He’d just… been not addressing it. Because… well…

They’d been friends when they were children. And he’d liked her a lot then too. More than any of the other Zora. He was attracted to her kindness, her compassionate heart, her silliness and desire to help. Before his little mind and heart knew what such a love was, he already loved her. Now that they were both older, that feeling had matured, and…

Link swallowed, grabbing hold of his courage. “Yes. I meant it. I love you.”

His words derailed Mipha’s stuttered rambling. The silence gave him an opportunity to continue, saying, “You’re not weak. You gave that blight everything you had. You’re an excellent fighter.”

“Link…” she muttered, clearly unsure what to say, but then she giggled, bubbly and emotional as it was, her eyes glistening with tears. “I…”

Link suddenly felt insecure, suddenly felt like maybe he shouldn’t quite have said everything he had. But he’d… she deserved to be comforted, if nothing else. But maybe he shouldn’t have said…

“I love you too,” Mipha finally replied.

…Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Did he… did she… they…

She actually said it?!

Mipha having some sort of strong feelings for Link had been somewhat apparent for a little while now. Her tripping over herself around him had been downright endearing, honestly. But given that she’d never admitted it, Link had figured it was because it was entirely inappropriate, or that perhaps her feelings were not the same as his. But her—she actually—

He… he really wanted to kiss her. Instead, he just felt himself blush.

A heavy sigh resounded from behind them, and both teenagers nearly jumped out of their skin.

Whirling, they turned to see Abel staring at them under heavy lidded eyes, looking exhausted and exasperated at the same time.

“Papa!” Link gasped, rushing to his father’s side, and Mipha was quick on his heels. “Are you alright?”

“I’m about as well as you appear to be,” his father replied, and he could sense the judgment from the man. He sucked in a cheek and bit on it, sheepish at being called out, but it wasn’t as if he’d had a chance to rest quiet yet. He’d wanted to check on Mipha, and then all this had happened.

“I’m so sorry, Sir Abel, I didn’t finish healing your wounds,” Mipha hastily said, moving to the other side of the bed to get a better view.

“Your Highness, that’s unnecessary,” Abel waved her off as respectfully as he could in his state. “I appreciate your singular resolve to heal everyone - you are a good person, and a testament to the Zora’s compassion. But I… have a favor to ask of Your Highness, if you’ll allow me this.”

“Yes, of course,” Mipha nodded eagerly, putting a hand on his shoulder. It was an automatic gesture, born from a kind heart, always eager to soothe, even if it was a little odd for her to be doing it to the seasoned knight. “What is it?”

“Rest,” Abel replied. It was disguised as a request, kind and gentle, but there was the slightest heaviness to his tone, one that Link knew intimately. This was a command, in the only way that the quiet knight could offer to a princess far above his station.

Mipha swallowed, mirroring Link’s sheepish reaction, and let out a small laugh. “A-ah. Well. I—I suppose I could use a little more rest, but the others—perhaps I can do so after I help—”

“You would be disregarding my request, then, princess,” Abel noted carefully.

Mipha’s mouth snapped shut. Link almost laughed - his father got her.

He’d have to remember that trick

Sighing heavily in defeat, Mipha bowed her head. “Well, I—yes. I’ll just—I’ll go back to the palace, then. Sir Abel, I—I’m sorry I wasn’t able to heal you fully before I go, but I—”

“Mipha,” Link interrupted pleadingly. “Please, don’t be sorry. You’ve done more than enough, I promise.”

His dear friend watched him before smiling gently, genuinely, lovingly. He smiled back at her, heart warming. They exchanged a quiet promise to continue their conversation later, and Mipha excused herself.

Abel sighed heavily again. Link glanced at him, worried. “Papa?”

“You two are ridiculous,” his father grumbled. “If Tilieth had been just as shy as me, you would have never been born.”

Link felt his cheeks scald with heat. “P-Papa!”

His father didn’t comment further, respecting his privacy, but he did yank him into a hug, holding him hostage in the bed with him until the Hero of Hyrule settled in his embrace. Zora’s Domain quieted as evening came, and everyone settled in to rest for the war to come.

Despite the dread hanging in the air, Link smiled, feeling lighter than he had in ages, heart full as Mipha’s words repeated in his mind, as he was safe in his father’s embrace.

I love you too.

[nasaty]

Forget me not

Aizawa-Sensei x Y/n-Sensei fic

TW: (eventually) violence, discussion of past death, just some bad feelings all around.

Part 5/??

You continued teaching Shinso privately for a few weeks, going between working on his quirk specifically, and some light training with the staff. One morning, you made your way over to the patch in the woods that you usually work at, but saw both Shinso and Aizawa there already.

“Umm, did I get the day wrong or something?” You asked.

“Oh shoot I forgot! I’m sorry. I had to move my time with Aizawa-Sensei because of a test and forgot when we usually work.”

“It’s okay. You continue with Aizawa and we can just reschedule.”

A deep gravelly voice spoke, “Y/n-Sensei, you can stay here I’ll just reschedule with Shinso.” ‘Is that what Aizawa sounds like in the morning?’ You thought.

“…couldn’t you guys both teach me…?”

“I guess, yeah.” You answered.

“We could…try and combine it?” Aizawa suggested.

“Like combine the staff and the cloth? That could be interesting….” You were intrigued. This could be a really good way of combating, and it’s so new that it would be hard for anyone, including villains, to evade. “Yeah let’s try it out.”

You gave Shinso his staff and he unwrapped his binding cloth. All three of you hypothesized different ways for it to be used. You could use the end of the staff to push the thick side of the cloth around with centripetal force or loop it around the end to toss it.

“Maybe we should improve on the staff…” you add. “We could put some sort of hook or edge on one side, and maybe a small rubber end for grip? I can talk to support about it if you guys are interested.” You walked closer to Aizawa and pointed out the places you could enhance.

“That’s….genius.” Aizawa was looking at you, mouth slightly open and smirking. He put his hands next to yours and you looked up at him shyly until you both realized why you were there.

You jumped at his hands grazing yours, “Uhm… yeah so I’ll go talk to support.”

“..ahh. Sounds good and I think we’re done for the day.” Aizawa said, much more lively than earlier that morning. He waited for you to make you way to the building so he didn’t have to awkwardly walk beside you.

—————-

A few weeks later and A day or so before you’re supposed to meet for lunch again, Aizawa emailed you.

“Y/n-Sensei,

I regretfully have to postpone our lunch for this week as I have a meeting that I am being forced to attend against my will, (god dammit, Hizashi)”

You chuckled. It’s ridiculous how much more respectable you’ve both been to each other lately. Toshinori was right. You texted Toshi that you’ve got to buy him a coffee later, and continued reading Aizawa’s email.

“I was hoping to offer you dinner in place of our usual visit. Please consider accompanying me on our regular lunch date of this coming Wednesday, at 7:00pm.

A.S.”

‘Good fucking god what is that supposed to be? Is he asking me out on a date?!’ You thought. Absolutely freaking out, you decided to find Toshinori and ask him what he thought about it. Maybe having a mans perspective would help? And it’s not like you could as Hizashi, he would blurt it to the whole school.

You walked to the teachers lounge in an attempt to find Toshinori as he usually spent most of his free time there rather than in his office. He probably liked having the company. You heard your heels click on the ground while you walk and you felt powerful, until you opened the lounge door and saw Aizawa sitting on the couch grading papers. You thought maybe he didn’t see you and you could sneak away, but he saw you. He hummed a bit signifying you being welcome to enter but you froze.

“Everything alright y/n?” Toshinori popped his head out of the book he was reading. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Ahh…umm..I’m uhh…” you stammered.

Aizawa looked at you with furrowed brows and a small smile on his face. It looked like he was trying to decipher whatever was happening with you.

“I’m alright!” You blurted and turned to walk out of the lounge. Toshinori looked back and forth between the door and Aizawa a few times.

“What was that about, do you think..?” He asked Aizawa.

Aizawa shrugged and went back to grading. Toshinori decided to follow you and ask what the trouble was. Aizawa was lucky you both left because he was desperately trying to not turn bright red. He was tapping his foot and chewing on his pen until Toshi left the room. Once he left, Aizawa sighed longingly and let himself blush.

Toshinori caught up to you in the hallway as you were walking back to your office.

“Y/n are you sure you’re alright?”

You couldn’t hold it in anymore. “IgotanemailfromAizawaandIthinkheaskdmeoutonadateandIhavenoideawhattothinksoIwenttofindyouandhewasinthereandI’mfreakingout!”

“Y/n you’re going to have to slow down.”

You shoved your phone with the email still up in his face.

“Oh wow…. This is…formal…” Toshinori breathed.

You buried your face in your hands as you turned bright red.

“This situation has changed a lot since the last time I spoke to you about him….” Toshi observed.

“Do you think it’s a date? Or do you think this is just him moving our appointment? We’ve been getting lunch every week to discuss Shinso’s progress.”

“Um….if this isn’t a date I need to reevaluate my life.” Toshi clapped his hand over his wide smile. “A.S.?” He laughed so hard he coughed up blood.

“Oh my god stop it Toshi.” You playfully smack his arm as he’s laughing. “You have to keep this a secret!”

Someone steps up to both of you, “Hmm?”

Aizawa stood there intimidatingly drinking the last of his coffee with an unamused face. You froze and Toshi leaned down to you to hand your phone back slowly.

“Well I’d better get going, nice to see you y/n. Aizawa.” Toshi ditched as fast as humanly possible leaving you holding your phone with Aizawa’s email up on it like the email itself would kill you. He slowly moved in toward you to take your phone and you shuddered. At the last second you tossed your phone to your other hand and straight armed his chest to keep him from taking it. His intimidating facade disappeared as he smirked with a spark in his eye. You laughed and tried to hold him back but he got through your defenses.

He reached out for your phone and you spun and ran down the hallway to your office. As soon as he realized where you were going he followed you, almost wiping out turning the corner. You stood in the middle of your office and attempted a stance to hold him back. Once he reached your office he slowed down dramatically, he moved in with a devilish smirk on his face and you started biting your lip.

He faked you out so he could get past you without hurting you and you ended up being pressed chest to chest with your arm out as far as possible, still clutching your phone. He looked down at you hungrily and your eyes widened. Instead of reaching for your phone, he raised his hands to hold your face in between them, pulled you close to him and kissed you hard. You gasped and melted into the kiss and put your hands on his chest.

Suddenly he pulled away grabbed your phone and jumped to the other side of the room. You were in a daze. He opened your phone to see his email to you on the screen.

“So this is your secret with Yagi? Me asking you on a date?” He asked.

“So it is a date!” You exclaimed and pointed at him. He lightly took your finger in his hand and held it.

“Of course it is, moron, what the hell else?” He rolled his eyes, still smiling.

“…I mean we were doing this to help Shinso.”

“Originally yeah, but we haven’t hardly talked about Shinso in weeks.” He explained.

You racked your brain to remember past conversations involving Shinso at lunch. You couldn’t remember the last time. Before you could speak again. He took your hand, which was still holding your pointer finger out, turned it and gave you a soft kiss on the top of your knuckles.

His sensual expression faded. “If you don’t want it to be a date it doesn’t have to be. We can go back to what we were like before…”

“I..uh….I..” you said totally dumb founded.

He placed your hand at your side, handed you your phone and said “consider it.” He walked out of your office with his hands in his pockets looking at the ground.

————————

You paced in your office for a while thinking of what to do. Did UA have a fraternizing policy? Was this all a joke? There’s no way he actually like you…right? How could he. He was incredible. One of the youngest to ever become a UA faculty member, he made accomplishment after accomplishment and you never measured up. Is there any way this could be real?

Despite this, you decided to email him back.

“Aizawa-Sensei,

I accept your invitation to postpone our upcoming meeting until that evening. I would like to accompany you to dinner, if you’ll still have me.”

You didn’t know what else to say do you sent it, and got almost an immediate reply.

“Y/n-Sensei,

Of course I’ll still have you. Always will.

A.S.

PS: I heard from support course and they have finished prototypes of the staffs you were working on. They’d like us to try them out tomorrow, if you’re available.”

Your heart stopped for a second. How was he this sweet? You knew the formality of everything was just him being a dork and flirting, but it still was really cute. And how adorable was he when he was trying to grab your phone, his lips pouted trying to reach past you…

You returned to reality. Maybe this is just a fling, a one time thing. Just something two adults do when they’re bored and nothing else. ‘There’s no way he would want to date you’ you thought. That would be irrational.

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-10-31

THE SPOOKTOBER SPOOKD8 IS HERE!  Time to blog it and hope to the lord of bones that it heavily features the 12-foot Home Depot Skeleton!  Continuing from last time.

Will John remember that he should be off protecting the other kids from running off?  Or will he search for Vrissy finally, now that he’s spent a literal DAY staring at his house burning down?

> (==>)

This is the last Blood tie with your childhood and the past you were clinging to like a man-child, finally cut.  Your psyche is no longer allowed to be....

....Housetrapped.

Now get your Breathy ass over to your more adult responsibilities.  Or do something as irresponsible as usual, but more forward focused and thus singularly impressive.

> (==>)

I LITERALLY GASPED

I knew I was a fatally addicted Homestuck fanboy despite the trauma but I didn’t know I was THAT much of a just-over-thirty-year-old fanboy, I literally GASPED out loud.  To finally have the joy and confidence for the future that comes with JOHN and KARKAT together IN PERSON and interacting with a common goal.

What a dramatic, perfect shot.  This IS Karkat right?  That’s what the visuals and my heart and soul said

> (==>)

THEY’RE CLOSE FRIENDS

CLOSE ENOUGH FOR THAT

KARKAT HAS COME SO FAR

Karkat and John conversations are some of the strongest in Homestuck, I ship them as FRIENDS so hard

It brings to mind something I mentioned in the Breath, Blood, and the Flow of Reality explanation/theorypost, which was holy shit SEVEN YEARS AGO wow

I didn’t always understand the appeal of John as a character, ranking him in the middle of my liked characters list. But after a while, I suddenly noticed how enjoyable he was for the things his conversations did to others, making his pesterlogs some of the most enjoyable to read. I wrote the following two years ago, in a character rankings thread, back when we knew jack shit about the import of classes and roles:

“I didn’t really see why I should think John was such an amazing character until I realized his consistent effect on the other party. He’s goofy and doesn’t really understand anything, but he understands just enough about his friends and others to make cutting, hilarious, almost unintentional insights that can change people for the better, even if he’s off the mark. It’s not what he says himself, but what he brings about in others that makes him so great to read. I mean, if you wall him off from everyone else… he kind of fails.

That’s why I take issue with the complaint of protagonist syndrome, here. John is very little by himself, but enhances all the characters around him immensely. Imagine if John were doomed to stay the least powerful and/or game-advancing of the kids and trolls combined; notice how little that would do to the story, or his beneficial role in it.”

John cut himself off from EVERYONE for YEARS in the Candy timeline.  He tried to be close to people and just ended up distancing himself from it.  He tried to keep himself tied down by his old home and memories of the version of Dad he lost, and all sorts of childish stuff.  But that tie is cut, and the bonds he’s forged need to be grasped to bring him out to exercise his maturity, because Breath is futile without real BLOOD.

> (==>)

Awesome shot.

KARKAT: ROUGH DAY, HUH.

(that was supposed to skip to 2:26 when you click but I couldnt embed it that way -- I haven’t metal geared i just seen clips and super best friends & know some memes)

So many scars.  I used to even ship Jane and Karkat a little so they could just be aghast together at everyone’s shenanigans and level criticism at them together, but to think Jane’s fought and hurt Karkat THIS much...

(And yeah, his blood color is shown through his eyes now at this age, that’s correct.)

> (==>)

Oh my fucking god, going from that to Sprite mode that abruptly.  XD

This is great.

JOHN: karkat? JOHN: what are you doing here? KARKAT: IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU TOO.

Hah, SO close that Karkat’s immediately critical of NOT being greeted warmly.  :)

JOHN: this isn't a battlefield, it's just... KARKAT: THE OBLITERATED, SMOLDERING HUSK OF YOUR FORMER HOME. JOHN: well, yeah. KARKAT: WHICH WAS DESTROYED AS COLLATERAL IN AN ONGOING MILITARY CONFLICT. JOHN: oh all right, fine. JOHN: it just feels weird to call it that. JOHN: i guess i'm used to thinking of home as somewhere far away from all that war stuff.

Yeah John, the burning down from a bomb that was meant for you and ALL of your friends’ children is supposed to shatter you out of that illusion.

I’d continue criticizing, but Karkat’s about to do it for me:

KARKAT: JESUS *CHRIST* JOHN. KARKAT: I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO LIST ALL THE WAYS IN WHICH THAT CONSTITUTES A SHORT-SIGHTED AND PUKE-WORTHILY IGNORANT THING TO SAY TO ME, PERSONALLY. KARKAT: AND FRANKLY I DON'T HAVE TIME TO BOTHER, THANKS TO THE COUNTLESS FIRES I HAVE BEEN PUTTING OUT ALL DAY, THE ONE PRESENTLY CONSUMING YOUR HIVE NOTWITHSTANDING. KARKAT: YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE MADE THINGS GO A BIT MORE SMOOTHLY? JUST A FRACTION? KARKAT: IF YOU HADN'T JUST DECIDED TO WANDER OFF THE INSTANT SHIT STARTED HAPPENING. JOHN: jeez, i'm sorry karkat. JOHN: i had no idea how much time had passed. JOHN: i must have gotten a bit distracted by my house being blown up.

A BIT DISTRACTED.  You empty-headed irresponsible guardian.

KARKAT: NOT WANTING TO POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS, BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS WAS A PROBLEM THAT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WERE UNIQUELY AND MAGICALLY EQUIPPED TO DEAL WITH. JOHN: huh? KARKAT: YOU KNOW. KARKAT: WITH YOUR SHOOSH THING. JOHN: my shoosh thing. KARKAT: YOUR SHOOSH THING. KARKAT: THE GUSTY NONSENSE? THE GIFT OF GAS?? KARKAT: YOUR SBURB ALLOCATED BLOW JOB??? JOHN: uh. KARKAT: THE SUPERNATURAL COMMUNION YOU HAVE WITH ALL THINGS WINDY, YOU ASS!! JOHN: oh right, that. JOHN: that would have let me put the fire out, maybe. JOHN: i don't think there's anything in my skillset that would have unexploded my house though. KARKAT: THAT'S FAIR.

Mhmm.  Many of the characters in Candy AND Meat are currently in a situation where due to either years of unpractice in a worshipful society that discourages it by fueling their insecurities or inability to due to confinement in a years-long space trip has caused them to AVOID using their powers for the main beginning stretch of our new story.  People have complained about them outright “forgetting” to use their powers, and they’re right, to an extent, but it’s story-justified.  They’re almost all physically or psychologically prevented from doing so!  But those walls are coming down, starting now.  They’re going to come back into their own.  And we’re bound to see a LOT MORE of these literal Gods using their abilities to shape the fabric of reality as the story progresses.

JOHN: i suppose i'll add one more notch to the daily tally of crazy stuff that happened which i just have to accept as my life now.

It was all already happening, you just refused TO accept it until now.

JOHN: so... JOHN: what else happened while i was caught up watching the symbolic representation of my former life get consumed in a giant fire ball? KARKAT: OH BOY. WHERE TO START. KARKAT: SO FIRST OFF, IN HINDSIGHT, TODAY WAS PRETTY OBVIOUSLY JUST ONE HUGE BAITED TRAP. KARKAT: I SAY "IN HINDSIGHT", BUT FORTUNATELY IT WAS ALSO EXTREMELY APPARENT EVEN IN FORESIGHT TO THOSE OF US WHO SPENT A FEW SECONDS THINKING ABOUT IT. JOHN: ...right. KARKAT: OH COME ON EGBERT, SERIOUSLY? KARKAT: KIDNAPPING A PERSON OF IMPORTANCE, ONLY TO LET US KNOW PRECISELY WHERE AND ON WHAT OCCASION THEY WOULD BE MOST ACCESSIBLE FOR A RESCUE ATTEMPT? KARKAT: HAVING THAT OCCASION BE NONE OTHER THAN THE CORPSE PARTY OF A HIGHLY NOTEWORTHY POLITICAL FIGURE, WHOSE CASKET MIGHT AS WELL HAVE HAD A GIANT "KICK ME" SIGN DAUBED ON IT? KARKAT: THERE WAS BASICALLY NO WAY IT WASN'T A FRONT FOR SOMETHING HUGE. AND IT WAS! KARKAT: WE HAPPEN TO BE SITTING IN FRONT OF ONE FACET OF THAT HUGENESS AT THIS VERY MOMENT.

Wait.  Oh, God.

Someone brought up the possibility that Gamzee might still be revivable by Jane, and I speculated that she’s deliberately CHOOSING not to because she actually doesn’t like him that much or has some semblance of fucking sense left in her.

But what if she PLANNED to have a public funeral for him, and then revive him SOON AFTER to turn him into a Christ-like resurrecting figure?  D:

JOHN: well, when you put it like that... JOHN: i guess we all got pranked pretty hard, huh. KARKAT: THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOUR SHITTY NERD PRANKS JOHN. KARKAT: FRANKLY I'M INSULTED THAT YOU THINK SUCH A WORD IS EVEN REMOTELY APPOSITE TO THE PRESENT SITUATION. KARKAT: OTHER THAN TO DESCRIBE THE WAY I AM PERSONALLY BEING "PRANKED" BY REALITY IN HAVING TO EXPLAIN ALL THIS TO YOU.

Pretty much.  Get serious, John, actual people are dying by the--

--oh right, he was like this through the apocalypse and death of everyone on Earth.

I guess this is in character.  Paradox Space made sure to choose someone empty-headed and disconnected from reality enough to withstand this shit easily.  He really is a Breath player.

KARKAT: IT TURNS OUT THAT WE DIDN'T NEED TO PUT SO MUCH EFFORT INTO THE RESCUING YIFFY PART OF THE OPERATION. KARKAT: SHE BASICALLY RESCUED HERSELF WHEN ALL WAS SAID AND DONE. KARKAT: AND TOOK CARE OF KICKING GAMZEE'S CORPSEBOX OVER WHILE SHE WAS AT IT, IN A STUNNING DISPLAY OF EFFICIENCY WHICH THE REST OF US CAN ONLY ASPIRE TO.

Excellent, yeah.

JOHN: it sounds like she'd be a pretty welcome addition to your ranks then. KARKAT: SHE'S A CHILD, YOU MORON.

Yeah, you’re fucking grown up now, John.  Stop thinking of the kids as the ones who have to rise up when the adults aren’t all doomed or dead.

KARKAT: THE VRISKAS, PLURAL. JOHN: shit. KARKAT: THEY'VE BOTH BEEN CAPTURED. JOHN: shiiiiiiiit. KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: GREAT WORK KEEPING AN EYE ON THEM, BY THE WAY! KARKAT: YOU LITERALLY HAD ONLY ONE JOB, AND YOU MESSED IT UP IN THE EQUALLY SINGULAR WAY IT WAS POSSIBLE TO DO. JOHN: urgh, i know, i know. ):

At least he messed that part up while he was TRYING to watch them, and not when he wandered off and watched his house burn for a whole day instead of protecting the remaining kids.

KARKAT: JANE'S PLAN FOR THIS CONFLICT HAS THUS FAR CONSISTED ALMOST ENTIRELY OF KIDNAPPING VARIOUS HIGH PROFILE CHILDREN. KARKAT: IT'S BIZARRE. KARKAT: AS THOUGH WE ARE FIGHTING A WAR OF ATTRITION, WHERE THE MAIN RESOURCE BEING UTILIZED IS THE OFFSPRING OF THE MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE ON THE PLANET. KARKAT: IF IT WASN'T ONE OF THE CORE TENETS OF HER FASCISTIC PHILOSOPHY, I'D BE TEMPTED TO SAY THAT CURBING REPRODUCTION MIGHT HAVE BEEN A GOOD IDEA, IF ONLY TO PREVENT THIS KIND OF FUCKSHIT NONSENSE FROM HAPPENING.

Leave it to Karkat to point out the blatant absurdity of Homestuck’s nonsense in any given situation.

JOHN: wait. JOHN: wait a minute. JOHN: you said that both vriskas have been captured, right? KARKAT: EXCUSE ME WHILE I WEEP FOR JOY AT THE REVELATION THAT YOU HAVE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION FOR ONCE. JOHN: okay, well putting that emotional outburst aside for a moment. JOHN: how is that even possible? JOHN: doesn't vriska, the original vriska, still have her magic alien mind control powers? JOHN: it seems like it should be basically impossible for anyone to kidnap her. KARKAT: YOU'VE STUMBLED ASS BACKWARDS ACROSS THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT OF THIS UNFORTUNATE DEVELOPMENT.

...Is Karkat going to put two and two together and realize that Vriska must have been intentionally captured of her own free will for some sort of ploy?

KARKAT: YOU ARE CORRECT, IN THAT WITH HER CASTE-TYPICAL, *COMPLETELY SCIENTIFIC AND NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT MAGICAL* PSYCHOMANIPULATIVE ABILITIES, STAYING OUT OF CROCKER'S REACH SHOULD HAVE BEEN COMPLETELY TRIVIAL FOR SERKET PRIME. KARKAT: EVEN ACCOUNTING FOR THE FACT THAT SAID ABILITIES ARE NOT NEARLY AS POTENT ON HUMANS AS THEY ARE ON FELLOW TROLLS, THEY STILL OUGHT TO HAVE TIPPED ANY ALTERCATION SQUARELY IN HER FAVOR. KARKAT: BUT SOMEHOW, IT DIDN'T! KARKAT: INSTEAD, THINGS APPEAR TO HAVE GONE GLOBES UP IN CLASSIC VRISKITE FASHION, AND NOW ONE OF THE MOST UNEXPECTED AND UNWANTED BUT NEVERTHELESS USEFUL WEAPONS IN OUR ARSENAL IS DOING TIME IN CROCKERJAIL. KARKAT: THAT'S ABOUT ALL WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO GLEAN FROM TAPPING INTO THE BATTERBITCH AIRWAVES, WHICH IS A FANCY TERM FOR EAVESDROPPING ON THOSE OF HER AGENTS WHO TALK A LITTLE TOO LOUDLY IN SEMI-PUBLIC SPACES. JOHN: jeez. JOHN: i really screwed that up, didn't i.

Guh.  I guess Karkat is underestimating Vriska a bit or just assuming the worst out of a habit of assuming the worst of everything.  (Or, if he has his suspicions, he’s not telling John.)

KARKAT: HAVING SAID ALL OF THAT, AND WITH THE RECOGNITION THAT I AM CHOOSING TO NURSE YOUR BRUISED FEELINGS DURING A PLANET WIDE CONFLICT FOR THE FATE OF MY SPECIES, KARKAT: IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO TO EXPEDITE YOUR GETTING THE FUCK OVER IT? JOHN: i... hm.

Yeah, use your shoosh-paps from Karkat wisely, John.  You needed them.

JOHN: i don't really know? JOHN: this all feels wrong, karkat. JOHN: no offense, but when you're around, it's usually a lot... KARKAT: A LOT WHAT? JOHN: a lot funnier. KARKAT: FUNNIER. JOHN: how to put this. JOHN: normally listening to you go on and on about how much we've fucked everything up is just very funny! JOHN: but now it's just not the same. JOHN: maybe it's part of what's going on with this entire reality? i don't know. JOHN: once upon a time i would have put down your ability to pull a silly rant out of your butt as a fundamental law of physics or something. JOHN: remember back when we first knew each other? JOHN: it felt like all you ever said to me was how much you thought i was screwing up and being a useless asshole. JOHN: and once i realized that you were also just a dumb kid who didn't know what was going on, i started to kind of enjoy it. JOHN: but now it's like... the only one who's still a dumb kid is me, and everyone else has something big and important going on that i just don't understand.

Mhmm, Karkat has every reason to be mad.  And everything really, REALLY close to you that you care about is in danger from the very things he’s mad about.  Karkat is RIGHT for once with every angry seemingly-exaggerated-but-not word, and that’s throwing you.

JOHN: i thought that i finally got what was going on with this whole war and everything. i wanted to be useful! JOHN: i guess i got a little too wrapped up in the feeling of something finally happening again. JOHN: and then watching it all blow up in my face, kind of literally now that i think about it...

...you think maybe something that happens to be A WAR is actually a big farking deal that you should be serious about??

JOHN: it's hard not to feel even more dejected about the situation than i was before. JOHN: and now even the patented karkat vant rant has lost all its sparkle.

IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUN.

JOHN: maybe if you had like, painstakingly itemized a list of all the things wrong with my plan in a comically overdone fashion or something. KARKAT: I CONSIDERED IT, BUT HONESTLY THERE WAS SO MUCH WRONG THAT I CONCLUDED THAT THE BEST THING FOR EVERYONE WOULD BE TO NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN. JOHN: oh. okay.

Heheh.

KARKAT: IF WE'RE BEING HONEST, YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A PLAN, JOHN. KARKAT: CALLING IT A PLAN WOULD IMPLY THAT IT WAS A STRUCTURED SEQUENCE OF STEPS DESIGNED TO ACHIEVE A GOAL. KARKAT: WHAT YOU CAME UP WITH WAS A CONVOLUTED MESS WHICH STILL SOMEHOW INVOLVED DOING FUCKALL. KARKAT: AND I USE CONVOLUTED HERE IN THE SAME WAY THAT I WOULD TO DESCRIBE THE FRENZIED DRAWSTICK SCRIBBLES OF A SQUALLING HUMAN INFANT.

All Breath and no Blood?  All concept and influence and ephemeral accomplishments and no physical impact or results?

Karkat has been fighting this whole time with physical results in mind.  He NEEDS to tie that ephemeral shit down, and once added to his plan, once Breath sweeps the tide of actual sentiment of people, inspires them, you have an actual victory in reach instead of just more attrition.

KARKAT: I APPRECIATE THAT YOU SEEM TO HAVE DUG YOUR PAN OUT OF YOUR OWN CHUTE THE FEW MICROMETERS NECESSARY TO NOTICE THE PRECISE DEGREE TO WHICH THE WORLD IS BEING JUDICIOUSLY BATFUCKED RIGHT NOW.

Really need to dig yourself out more than that, John, yeah.

KARKAT: AS HARD AS IT IS TO BELIEVE, THAT'S A FEAT WHICH NO SMALL NUMBER OF PEOPLE ARE COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF DOING!

(Which is why your plan of attack needs more Breath!)

KARKAT: BUT NOTICING THE PROBLEM AND MAKING MEANINGFUL PROGRESS TOWARDS SOLVING IT ARE TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS. KARKAT: THE NEXT TIME YOU GET THE IMPULSE TO "LEND A HAND", YOU'D BE BETTER OFF CANNING IT FOR FIVE MINUTES AND LISTENING TO THOSE OF US WHO'VE BEEN TRYING TO SOLVE IT A LOT LONGER THAN YOU HAVE. KARKAT: THIS ISN'T AN EXERCISE BEING CONDUCTED IN ORDER FOR YOU TO PROVE YOUR PERSONAL DEGREE OF MORAL RECTITUDE. KARKAT: AND IF IT WAS, YOU WOULD HAVE ALREADY FAILED MISERABLY! SO DO YOURSELF AND EVERYONE ELSE A FAVOR AND STOP TREATING IT LIKE ONE. JOHN: well... all right. if you say so karkat.

Phew.  Let’s hope he takes Karkat’s gift of a worldbound, arms-in-the-dirt sense of responsibility (Blood) and runs with it.

KARKAT: I DO SAY SO, EMPHATICALLY AND AT GREAT VOLUME. KARKAT: AND NOW THAT MY OBLIGATION TO CATECHIZE YOU ON THE SUBJECT OF YOUR OWN LIFE IS FULFILLED, I HAVE A WAR TO GET BACK TO. JOHN: wait, hold on. KARKAT: OH MY GOD WHAT NOW.

--is it gonna be a hug?

> (==>)

JOHN.  Put it together.

JOHN: you can't be leaving already. JOHN: there's... so much we still need to talk about!

No, not that!!

...well, yes, I’m all for more of you two talking but.  This ain’t just about you two.

KARKAT: WHAT MORE COULD THERE POSSIBLY BE FOR US TO DISCUSS?? KARKAT: PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME YOU JUST HAD ANOTHER EMOTION THAT WE NEED TO DROP EVERYTHING IN ORDER TO DISSECT. JOHN: no, that's not what i'm talking about at all. JOHN: karkat, we still haven't spoken about *you*! KARKAT: ABOUT ME? JOHN: yes. KARKAT: ABOUT *ME*? JOHN: about you. KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT ME. JOHN: well... JOHN: you know, how you feel! KARKAT: HOW I FEEL. JOHN: or just... JOHN: argh, i don't know!

This was more of an intervention than a feelings jam, John.  I’m not sure John’s in the condition right now to Breathily inspire Karkat somehow and help his war with an idea and drive he didn’t have before -- like he SHOULD eventually -- but I suppose we’re about to see.

JOHN: it's just been so long since we've seen each other. JOHN: all sorts of things have happened in that time, and it doesn't feel right to just not even mention any of it! KARKAT: LIKE WHAT?? JOHN: oh, i don't know karkat, literally anything! JOHN: i mean, look at you. JOHN: you are decked out in a tight body suit and have an eyepatch and everything. there is simply no way there isn't something to discuss there.

You talked with him plenty while NOT in person, though.

> (==>)

Such MOOD.  What a good image.

JOHN: or like, forget the eyepatch, we don't have to talk about the eyepatch. JOHN: i feel as though my point still stands? JOHN: there is basically a bottomless well full of stuff to go through. JOHN: i mean we kind of glossed over it when you brought her up earlier, but what about yiffy? JOHN: this might not come across so easily due to human troll cultural boundaries, but her existing is kind of a big deal?? JOHN: i feel like somehow i missed the part where we all sit around and talk about how strange it is that two of our friends went off and had a secret child without any of us knowing! JOHN: is it too much to ask that we have that part now, karkat?

That’s fair.  And they DO need to talk about it!  But this is sort of like in the Game -- there’s important shit to do, and not a whole lot of time to do it.  You’re going to do a lot of talking, but you won’t be able to do all you want with certain people separated from you by the circumstances of how this war is dividing your responsibilities.

JOHN: i mean, maybe it just doesn't mean that much to you. KARKAT: JOHN. JOHN: which is a little strange, given that it ties in to the whole conflict that you had with jade and dave. JOHN: oh god we have to talk about dave. KARKAT: JOHN. KARKAT: FUCKING HELL! KARKAT: I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT DAVE. JOHN: no, this is what i mean, karkat. JOHN: we need to talk about dave! KARKAT: HAHA! LIKE SHIT WE DO!! KARKAT: I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE HOW THIS IS EVEN A RELEVANT TOPIC OF CONVERSATION. JOHN: oh come on. JOHN: there's no way you aren't feeling kind of messed up about him, right?

THIS is fair.  Karkat does need to talk about this with somebody.  Whether John is the right somebody... I guess he is where Dave is concerned.  And he has to talk to Jade eventually, too.

JOHN: i know i am. JOHN: whenever i think about how things ended between you two... JOHN: especially now that he's... JOHN: ugh, i'm sorry. i'm SO sorry karkat. sorry doesn't even begin to cover it. JOHN: this whole thing feels so impossibly sad. JOHN: all i'm trying to say is... JOHN: it's not healthy to bottle these feelings up and not acknowledge them. JOHN: even if you aren't feeling anything right now, and i don't for a moment believe that's true, *i* need to talk about dave! JOHN: so can we please just talk about dave for a moment. KARKAT: NNNNGNGNGGGGGGGUUUUUUGUUGHHHHHHHH FINE.

It’s difficult to live in a Daveless world.

KARKAT: IF IT WILL GET YOU TO SHUT UP ABOUT THIS TOPIC FOR EVEN A BRIEF MOMENT, THEN FINE. KARKAT: REGARDLESS OF HOW POINTLESS AN EXERCISE I CONSIDER IT TO BE, I WILL DISCUSS WITH YOU MY "FEELINGS" ABOUT DAVE. JOHN: okay. JOHN: thank you. KARKAT: ARE YOU PREPARED TO BE INUNDATED WITH NONE OTHER THAN AN UNINTERRUPTED SPATE OF HARD, UNEMBELLISHED DATA VIS A VIS MY SWEEPS-SUPPRESSED, BISCUITFELT EMOTIONS ON THE DAVE SITUATION?? KARKAT: WELL HERE GOES.

--it’s not gonna be short, or cut away, is it?  --actually it could just switch to a very sad sunset-like vista of the two sitting there, and one poignant line from him followed by a long, hanging pause.

> (==>)

KARKAT: *DEEP BREATH*

A giant expletive isn’t it.

The best sendoff you could give him.

> (==>)

Holy shit.  It really IS a rant!

KARKAT: YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW I REALLY FEEL ABOUT DAVE? KARKAT: HOW I FEEL IS THAT I WISH THAT EVERYONE WOULD STOP FUCKING BOTHERING ME ABOUT HIM!!! KARKAT: ALRIGHT, SO HE AND JADE GOT HUMAN MARRIED!! BIG DEAL!!! KARKAT: DO PEOPLE FORGET THAT I WAS THERE?? I FEEL LIKE EVERYONE IS FORGETTING THAT I WAS LITERALLY INVITED TO THE OCCASION. KARKAT: I'VE EVEN COME TO EXPECT THIS KIND OF AMNESIAC BEHAVIOR FROM EVERYONE ELSE, SINCE I ADMIT THAT I DIDN'T EXACTLY STICK AROUND OR ACTUALLY SHOW MY FACE FOR MOST OF THE ORDEAL, BUT YOU EGBERT SHOULD HAVE NO FUCKING EXCUSE! JOHN: wait, karkat, that's not what i KARKAT: SO YEAH! THAT WHOLE THING HAPPENED, AND I CAME TO TERMS WITH WHATEVER THERE WAS TO COME TO TERMS WITH, WHICH WAS FUCKING *NOTHING*, AND THEN I GOT ON WITH THE ACTUAL IMPORTANT BUSINESS OF TRYING TO PREVENT THE WORLD FROM CRUMBLING! KARKAT: WHICH, NOW THAT WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT, IS *STILL FUCKING HAPPENING*! KARKAT: I AM UTTERLY APPALLED THAT THIS IS AN INFO MORSEL I KEEP HAVING TO SPOONFEED DOWN YOUR WINDCHUTE EVERY FIVE SECONDS, JOHN, I REALLY AM. KARKAT: I MEAN HOLY SHIT, NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR THIS! KARKAT: AND ONE THING I CAN SAY WITH ABSOLUTE IRONCLAD CERTAINTY IS THAT IF DAVE WERE HERE, HE WOULD SAY THE SAME THING!!

Okay he dealt with it by keeping his hands in the dirt working on hard-fighting responsibilities, yeah, as a Blood player might.  But the way he’s ranting about it seems a little-

KARKAT: SPEAKING OF WHICH, WHERE *IS* DAVE?? JOHN: um. KARKAT: I FEEL LIKE IF ANYONE COULD HAVE PREVENTED TODAY FROM DEVOLVING INTO A HEADLESS CLUSTERFUCK, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN... OKAY, MAYBE NOT HIM, BUT AT LEAST HE MIGHT HAVE HELPED DRAG YOU OUT OF YOUR DEPRESSIVE FUGUE A LITTLE SOONER! JOHN: (oh shit.)

Oh SHIT

> (==>)

Oh no... oh no, they’re BOTH about to let it out together.

They’re gonna have to cry it out.  Finally, onscreen.  THIS is why they weren’t showing us, why they were saving it.  It felt so awkward at the time but it’s because it has to culminate in these two, some of the closest to Dave since CHILDHOOD, get to show us the effect on everyone in a microcosm.

KARKAT: NOT ONLY THAT, BUT MAYBE WITH BOTH OF US HERE WE COULD HAVE DISPENSED WITH THIS ENTIRE SORRY TOPIC ONCE AND FOR ALL, IF ONLY FOR YOUR BENEFIT! KARKAT: OH HI DAVE, JOHN SEEMS TO BE UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT THE UNSPOKEN HISTORY BETWEEN US IS OF SUFFICIENT IMPORT THAT WE NEED TO HASH IT OUT THIS VERY SECOND IN FRONT OF THE BLASTED REMAINS OF HIS HOME! KARKAT: yo karkat that does seem to be a strange thing for my best friend john to be concerned about given that he has spent the past five years wallowing in the depths of deepest divorce fever KARKAT: and especially since jade and i have meanwhile been working as part of your resistance with no complaints, but sure, we can brofist each other and arrange our limbs in an unambiguously platonic way KARKAT: a way which is also flawlessly calculated to communicate to everyone present that here are two guys who are totally and unequivocally over each other JOHN: (oh god. you don't...)

Talk about John’s comment about Karkat’s rants not being hilarious in a situation.  THIS situation really tugs it out of them.  :(

KARKAT: THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA DAVE, AND WITH THAT MAYBE THAT WAY WE CAN WASH OUR TOUCH STUMPS OF THIS WHOLE ORDEAL AND NEVER HAVE TO SPEAK OF IT AGAIN! KARKAT: WOULD YOU LIKE THAT, JOHN? KARKAT: WOULD THAT SATISFY YOUR CRAVING FOR CATHARSIS ON THE SUBJECT OF DAVE?? KARKAT: WELL WHY DON'T WE TRY IT THEN. KARKAT: IN FACT, WHY DON'T YOU CALL DAVE AND GET HIM OVER HERE RIGHT NOW! JOHN: (oh my god...)

> (==>)

These visuals are ON POINT.  This entire sequence since Karkat showed up is masterfully done.

KARKAT: MAYBE WE SHOULD GET JADE TO COME AS WELL! JOHN: ): KARKAT: FUCK, WHY NOT INVITE FUCKING EVERYONE!!! KARKAT: WHY NOT PRESS "PAUSE" ON THE RACE WAR FOR A MOMENT AND HAVE ONE HUGE FEELINGS JAM LAWNMEAL WHERE WE ALL PUBLICLY EXPATIATE OUR VARIOUS CONVOLUTED EMOTIONS. KARKAT: FORGET PEACE TALKS, GET FUCKING *CROCKER* TO COME! KARKAT: MAYBE THE SIGHT OF A DAVEKAT RECONCILIATION IS THE SECRET KEY TO UNLOCKING THE PART OF HER BRAIN THAT STOPS HER FROM BEING A GENOCIDAL RACIST BITCH!!! KARKAT: HOW COULD WE HAVE POSSIBLY BEEN SO BLIND!!!!!! KARKAT: IF GAMZEE WASN'T DEAD, YOU COULD HAVE INVITED HIM AS WELL! KARKAT: HAHAHA, THAT'S OKAY, WE STILL HAVE A VERITABLE MENAGERIE OF PEOPLE WE KNOW WHO AREN'T DEAD. JOHN: ))))): KARKAT: ALL OF WHOM I AM SURE WILL BE SIMPLY DELIGHTED TO ATTEND WHAT WILL UNDOUBTEDLY BE THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT EVENT IN EARTH C'S BULLSHIT HISTORY. KARKAT: IF THIS IS WHAT IT TAKES, EGBERT, THEN I AM PREPARED TO DO IT! KARKAT: DON'T THINK THAT I WON'T!! KARKAT: IF JUST FOR AN *INSTANT* IT WILL GET EVERYONE OFF MY CASE ABOUT THIS, I WILL STAND UP WITH DAVE IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE ***FUCKING WORLD*** AND SOLEMNLY VOW THAT I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT!!!! JOHN: KARKAT!!!!

That last bit with John.  I can HEAR the rawness in his voice as he shouts that last bit... he’s about to burst into tears.  And Karkat is going to have to with him.  And they’ll cry it out together, as they should.

> (==>)

JOHN: ugh, fuck, this is just too much! JOHN: i thought you KNEW! KARKAT: KNEW WHAT??? JOHN: dave's GONE, karkat! JOHN: he's... JOHN: he's dead.

Let’s see it happen.

> (==>)

Just body language, the blow of the words...

JOHN: i didn't mean for you to find out like this at all, i thought... JOHN: i mean, i only heard about it yesterday, but i was convinced someone would have told you already! JOHN: apparently one minute he was there, and the next... JOHN: none of us even know how it happened, and it doesn't make any sense that he's dead, but he is. JOHN: he is dead and he's not coming back. KARKAT: JOHN: talk to me karkat, please. JOHN: please talk to me karkat. KARKAT: KARKAT: HE...

Jade and Rose were on a different part of this battlefield, they didn’t have the ability, time, and/or heart to break the news--

> (==>)

KARKAT: HE DIDN'T EVEN SAY GOODBYE?

aaaaAAAA

What a fucking expression, wow.

And what a regret RoboDave has to have for abandoning everyone without so much as a farewell letter.  To think that ditching them like that was IN his Ultimate Soul is going to eat away at him.  He may be linked to all of his self of selves, but he’s still an individual with individual regrets.

This was a damned good update.  See y’all next time.

(It may be the new meds I’m on, but between this and the thorough love I see put into the unofficial archive, I’m suddenly reminded that despite all the drama, I fucking LOVE Homestuck.  Even its current incarnation.)

[monstaxardeur]

Warnings: Angst

Your head was buried in your hands while you stayed on call with a good friend who had heard your rants regarding work and you'd been in tears. Everyone has rough days, you knew this would pass too but in that moment you were angry, hurt and just wanted a break. You hung up and started to finally drag yourself to get a change of clothes when you saw your phone buzz again. 

2 missed calls- Danny. 

You picked up on the third ring and tried your best to sound like as if nothing had happened but of course some of the emotions seeped through.

"Hey are you home today, can I come over?" He asked rather casually and normally you never minded, apparently you had become his low maintenance friend, someone who he could drop by over at and just share silences with. Sometimes he would talk a little, ask the most dangerous questions, other times there would just be conversations like, 'is the wifi not working?', 'where's the beer?' or 'hellos' and 'good nights', that's it. You were closed up he knew that, he read that energy off of you ever since you two befriended each other but you never denied him company, it was no lie you were extremely fond of him, he was your new little crush, okay maybe more, still a secret none the less. Its all too common how one feels with crushes, you want to be their best friend, be their buddy except this wasn't high school and you were an adult to carelessly act on dumb impulses. Instead you became the next best thing, a safe space, almost like that one cafe where you go to work or unwind and befriend that one employee or owner, you were that space for him. You were always working away on your laptop, as budding designer, artist and author you were always glued to your computer. Sometimes you wouldn't even know if he called you out because of the music from your headphones. As much as you wanted to look perfect for him, with time that too dissipated, he got used to your mismatched outrageous home attire and that single view of your back to him. That was your only sign of existence in that apartment, he'd be engrossed in work or a phone call or an argument with a fuck buddy or whatever but you stayed the same, unphased. You had spoilt him, a lot in those terms but then for the first time you turned him down, first time in 3 months of him dropping by to your place.

"Uhh not today Changkyun, I am a little preoccupied, really sorry." You excused yourself, on top of that you called him by his name properly, you never did that on call. Something was off he could tell.

"Yeah sure it's cool, I'll call you when you're free." He replied and you said your goodbyes hanging up. If you were honest you were a little relieved to not have anyone over, even Changkyun. He was like a silent cat but still a presence in your apartment and right now you just wanted to be alone, isolation could be a friend and you missed it. So you showered and changed and just crashed in bed not caring about any client calls or work or your morning job because you had just quit.

When you came to it was because of an incessant bell ringing, you rubbed your eyes and it was one of those moments when your eyes just wouldn't open and it lead to a migraine spiking slowly. You groaned rubbing your eyes a little more unsure if you were hearing things and then the door bell rang again. You were up on your feet glancing at the clock and shuffled your way across the room. 

Changkyun pursed his lips and looked worried as he tried dialing your number and raised his hand to ring the bell again when you opened the door.

"Oh hey, you're alive." His expression softened and he was relieved you were okay. 

"Changkyun it's almost midnight." You complained a little but opened the door wider for him to help himself in. He glanced around your room and noticed it was unkempt and your computer was off and he asked, immediately sensing something was not right. "Is everything okay? You seem out of it today." He asked rather cautiously while reading your behavior. You shrugged off the discussion but five minutes later and you were spilling the tea about all that happened at work and you were pissed. He had noticed on a number of occasions that someone as docile, (according to him) and generally just a nice person such as you would become a no filter snarky, sassy bitch when pissed off and or exhausted. You always had it tamed but today he was really enjoying this side of yours. "So what's up with you?" You steered topics, "I ended it with the fuck buddy." he stated bluntly taking a swig of his alcohol. "The boy or the girl?" You asked amused as always about his lifestyle and whereabouts but you never judged and he really appreciated that about you. "I wasn't fucking the dude, not yet at least, that was just an infatuation until I realized he's a toxic moron, and I meant the girl, I think she wants to settle down." Changkyun acted like he didn't care but there was a hint of heartbreak that showed even if he tried to guard it. 

"You'll be fine, you'll live don't worry, you made it this far." You assured him rather casually not wanting to open up his wounds and gently patted his thigh. You got up to walk over to the kitchen and he asked feeling a little burdened by emotions and swayed by the liquor. 

"Don't you get tired of me? I'm always hanging around you like a shadow."

He saw you sigh stirring your coffee, "Listen you're no exception, I'd do this for any of the friends that I cherish and yeah I admit I am fond of you so it's no big deal really." You stated as a matter-of-factly but boy did it hit him the wrong way. All of a sudden he felt like he wasn't the special one in your eyes, he always thought he was, he was sure of it but right now your statement literally plummeted him to the ground making him realize he's just another friend you cherish, nothing more. Why did it unsettle him? He was getting stubborn, he wanted to know the truth so he did what he promised himself he wouldn't. "So tell me about that crush of yours. Any progress?" You didn't make much of how he stirred the conversation, it was classic Changkyun as you knew him. "What crush?" You asked knowing very well where this could lead. "You know the one you mentioned is always brooding." He smiled slyly under his hoodie, "Ugh he can't be changed too bad I adore that fuck." You retorted and he got up from the couch feeling he had you where he needed. "I have a few guesses." He spoke and you internally cursed him, "Hah been there done that I'm not playing that game EVER again." You replied straight up. 

"Is it me?"

Those words hung heavy in the air as he inched closer, "You know I'm not him, I don't like mixed signals either, so just fucking say it. It's me isn't it?" For the first time that day you were silenced, you didn't know how to handle the situation and the more you stayed quite the more obvious and awkward it got, the tension grew just as thick and you really wished he'd disappear. You wanted to be alone, so fucking alone because that seemed to be the only comfort compared to this situation. He knew he'd done it and realized he had to break the tension, "Care if I bunk here tonight, your couch is really comfy ya know." He tried to act casual as if he didn’t say what he just said and you just nodded with a polite smile. He observed your behavior again, you put away your coffee and pretended to clear up the already spotless kitchen before retreating to your bedroom. You didn't even bother to get him a blanket or anything you were so out of it and the guilt slowly set in him. He shouldn't have approached you like that he realized, he had pressed the wrong buttons.

The night had seemed heavy and he was up at the earliest light of dawn, before leaving though he peeked in your room before carefully walking in to kneel by your side. Tear stained cheeks he noticed with your head partially buried under pillows. He was guilty for his behavior, if anything, crush or not you were a cherished friend and friends don't do this to each other and most of all you were his safe space and he'd torn you down ruthlessly. 

He was guilty...

And so he placed the softest kiss on the side of your head, gently lingering but soft and swift as to not wake you up. A chaste kiss that spoke a meaningful 'I'm sorry' to you and he was gone then. Your apartment was empty and you awoke blinking away a few tears, you'd felt it, your sleep had been restless too and you had been awoken by his sweet kiss. You didn't think Changkyun of all people would have a healing touch..~🥀

[transgalthoughts]

What if it was only going to be a phase, until everything else happened.

In primary school I was extensively bullied. Physically and verbally. I often ended up crying. The issue is no one gave a shit. The verbal bullying was mostly from girls, and the physical from boys. I remember once saying something back to one of the girls who frequently made me cry that made her cry, and I got chastised heavily for it by the teacher. The teacher never cared when she or any of the other girls or boys made me cry.

I was also attacked quite a lot by my brother at home who was 3 and a half years older than me. He would really beat the shit out of me sometimes, and I'd be scared for my life. I remember one time lying on my back on the floor with him pinning my arms down with his arms and his knee on my neck, my eyes slowly closing involuntarily before he decided to get off me. This all happened with other adults around and sometimes in the same room my Mum, my Dad, family friends etc. "Boys will be boys". I would sometimes beg them to help and scream that I was so scared he was gonna kill me this time but they would never care enough to do anything more than leave the room.

So I was abused extensively as a teenager by my Mum, with my Mother consistently reminding me that no one would ever believe I was an abuse victim because I was male. This was proven absolutely correct when she once got drunk and called the police on me when I was 15 because I refused to come out of my room. They arrived, asked her what was going on and she said I was abusing her. They came into my room and told me that I might be a child now but if I hit my mum when I reached 16 they would arrest me and I would have a criminal record for the rest of my life. I said I have never once hit her ever, but I have photos of injuries that she has inflicted upon me and witnesses of this happening. She clarified to them that I had been "emotionally abusing" her by refusing to come out of my room, not even for meals, and never talking to her. I told them again that I have photos of injuries she has inflicted upon me and witnesses to this happening and I got the images up on my phone to show them. They waved their hands dismissively at me and said "it's fine we're not going to press any charges against you for the moment, but you need to be nicer to your Mum" then left my room. And then came back in and said "btw your Mum told us that at one point you tried to run away, I think you should be aware that if you do then you will be deemed to have made yourself intentionally homeless and will therefore be unable to receive any government support, look we get a lot of calls about teenage boys in your position being like this so just don't" and then they left.

So despite me knowing my rights, being completely unconvinced by her trying to convince me it was my fault, and knowing I didn't deserve this. I was stuck being extensively domestically abused for 5 years (13-18) because I was a guy. The police were very explicit about the fact that it was because I was a guy. And I know that would absolutely not have happened to me if I was a 15 year old girl and my Dad was physically abusing me and I had evidence and witnesses to it

I had friends though, people I could reach out to that I was close with. And I did, and they were supportive, and then they just got kinda bored. Everyone was going through puberty, there was an overabundance of people feeling sorry for themselves. The guys would rather support girls because it gave them that white knight feeling, and the girls would rather support girls because it was something they could relate to more and it made them uncomfortable to hear a) about just how shit my situation was and b) the fact I was suggesting that this particular individual circumstance that I faced was worse because I was a guy than this exact situation would have been for me if I was a girl was "a bit anti-feminist" so there went all my support for that. I was still my female friend's go to for whenever they had a problem but they wouldn't let me talk about mine anymore.

Then I got a girlfriend, we'd both had a crush on each other for 5 years, but they'd rejected me initially cos they thought I deserved someone better and then they confessed that they had liked me the whole time and asked me out. And it was great, to begin with, and then they started getting sexually explicit texts from other guys that they personally knew and at first I was nothing but sympathetic but then I found out this wasn't people messaging her out of the blue this was people she engaged in regular conversation with coming onto her and her not telling them to stop. I asked her if she could tell them to stop but she never did, it just continued for the whole of our relationship.

We'd been doing everything except penetrative sex for a while and we were both comfortable with that and then she told me that she wanted to have sex soon and I said I was happy to if she was, then she said that she couldn't wait to tell her friends because so far only one person in her friendship group was having sex and it would be great to have some stories of her own. This made me really uncomfortable and I said I didn't want to have sex if she was gonna tell her friends about it the second we did. After a month she finally agreed she wouldn't tell her friends and we had sex the next week. Then the very next day she told her friends "by accident".

Then she started getting bored of me. Apparently I was "too nice" but she said it was mainly that she wanted to be more adventurous with other people. So she broke up with me, then got back with me, about 5 times. After the 3rd time she asked me in frustration why I didn't fight for her when she broke up with me.

Then I went to uni. I ended up making friends with a group of people who seemed really nice and were by themselves, but as the only white guy in the group, the butt of everyone's jokes about how I probably didn't deserve my place here, my life was so much easier than everyone else's etc. All of these people knew about my past extensively. They just didn't care. I was a guy, so my life was easy.

Then I got a girlfriend at uni, she was the one to ask me out. She knew everything about me and my past, all the things detailed previously before we went out. Things were great initially, then she asked me to initiate more cos it apparently made her feel shit that I didn't initiate as often. So I did. She also asked me if it was okay for her to call me sir in bed sometimes and I said yeah sure I mean whatever gets people off. After a few months she started to get more distant after sex and said that sometimes she just feels weird and kinda sensory overloady after sex. Then it progressed to her not wanting to hold hands or touch any time we weren't having sex. And eventually to her recoiling when I accidentally touched her. She then told me she had been groped by her teacher at school and had just started thinking about it again. She didn't mention the fact she called me sir in bed but I could put two and two together and work out that she'd been using me to fulfill an abuse fantasy. So I just started saying no to sex whenever she initiated it. She was also the clearest example of explicitly telling me to not talk about my problems please after she'd spent the entire first half of our relationship talking about how suicidal she was and how she once attempted suicide. This applied to her male friends as well, one of whom attempted suicide while we were together and her primary reaction was *oh for fuck sake, he's such a moron*, but not her female friends who she always had time for even if the problem was just that they'd been overthinking a bad conversation with their parents.

When we finally had the conversation that culminated in us breaking up I asked her if she could initiate more, cos at the beginning she had initiated all the time and asked me to initiate more, and I'd done that but now she had stopped initiating and I was the only one that did. And she said she prefers relationships where only the guy initiates.

My friends who were friends with my girlfriend (both school and uni) never stopped being friends with them. Even after finding out everything they had done and how they had treated me, and ditching guys who had done the same or equivalent to their girlfriends without a second glance, even if they were only friends with the original guy and not the girlfriend.

I just can't handle being a guy. My life has been such shit and I have been treated so badly by people. And I know that isn't unique or even rare but what is rare is that not one of my friends has even thought to question their relationship with others who have treated me like shit when I have seen them drop guys who treat girls like that almost instantaneously.

I hate that my suffering is viewed as inherently less worthwhile or meaningful because I am a guy, that my emotions are somehow less valid, that I can't be a real victim, that I'm always either a neutral party or a perpetrator. Even going clubbing, and trying to get past a group, or going on a walk at night pre-covid, people would stare at me like I'm a rapist and cross to the other side of the street to avoid me. I can never be unhappy in a group situation with people I don't know because if I end up in a corner not really talking much people look at me like I'm a creep waiting for my chance to spring out of the shadows and rape someone when I'm really just too insecure to strike up a conversation, and no one initiates conversations with guys at parties anyway. Girls want to talk to girls and guys want to talk to girls.

And I know the only chance of escaping all of this shit and make sure it doesn't just endlessly repeat until I die is if I transition and people start seeing me as a woman.

And maybe it won't be enough, maybe it could have been if I'd started earlier but now I will still always have an imposing or threatening frame. But I have nothing to lose at this point. The way friends family teachers and all other authority figures have treated me as a guy is not worth trying to live with or figure out. I either need to change how society perceives me (ie switching to a gender where you aren't immediately deemed as entirely worthless if you don't have confidence) or die.

[poetryintheyes]

Sex Is a Good Thing!

Orgasmic sex between consenting adults gives a larger number of advantages to people than basic shared closeness. It's additionally significant in keeping up one's physical and psychological wellness.

Various investigations have indicated the helpful impacts of customary orgasms. Sex has been demonstrated to be an incredible cardiovascular exercise and it has been demonstrated to calm pressure, thereby forestalling pressure related clutters. Standard, fulfilling sex may even assist you with living longer!

Then again, sexual frustration, as I would see it, is probably the best issue people face today.

Presently, I'm not discussing a person who's frustrated in light of the fact that his wife has been away for seven days. I'm discussing 40 year old folks who have never had intercourse. I'm discussing women who have been so scarred sexually, that they are planning to get past the remainder of their lives while never needing sex again. Where does this originate from?

All things considered, how about we start by investigating history and religion. In numerous societies, sex has been named "messy." And it's obvious in the manner in which we interface with one another consistently that this observation has persevered. One of the most clear cases is the work "f*ck." Apparently left over from significantly increasingly harsh occasions, the letters are intials portraying a barricade offense, "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge." Today, it has become one of the most negative and broadly utilized words in American English.

See secondary school boys who as of now have twisted perspectives on sex before they've even participated in the demonstration. We hear things like, "eat me", "chomp me", "suck this," "decent girls don't yet underhanded girls do," and even as they get more established, "she's fun, however she's not the sort of girl you need to wed!" what number great hearted and bold teenage girls have submitted to the desires of their lover, just to be disgraced, freely mocked or surrendered?

At that point boys become men. They get married to "pleasant girls" and spend the remainder of their lives wishing their spouses were progressively brave in bed. What number of spouses bother and harrangue their wives to give them what they need (regularly without thinking about their wife's needs) until she is exhausted and not, at this point intrigued by any stretch of the imagination? Our entire idea of sex has become so curved that numerous really disdain its healthful and holding impacts since it has become so messed up with torment.

Also, remember the commitment of intense sexual frustration to wrongdoing. Each sexual offense has its underlying foundations in sexual agony and frustration or confusions about sex. In the event that sex wrongdoers were equipped for having adoring, capable, adult relationships, there would be no requirement for them to perpetrate such wrongdoings as assault and attack.

What would we be able to do?

To start with, how about we get it straight that sex isn't "filthy." It is a consummately ordinary natural capacity and overlooking the desire won't cause it to leave. This is just the manner in which we are structured. On the off chance that we genuinely have regard for an almighty Creator, at that point it's time we respect the way that He/She/It made us the manner in which we are. The Human body is a lovely thing and it's off-base for us to join such negative undertones to any part of our natural selves for some Human origination of how we "should" be.

We should figure out how to grasp our sexuality. Because you may have had an awful involvement with the past doesn't mean you're unequipped for having a decent sexual encounter. In the event that your present sex life isn't all that you'd like it to be, converse with your partner about what you'd like and work together to get through restraints. In the event that your partner is excessively requesting or not open to such conversation, I recommend you consider finding another partner.

Show our kids. Studies show that youngsters who experience childhood in family units where the parents are progressively open about their bodies, instead of continually concealing bare bodies away from plain view, are in reality better balanced as adults. Kids who get oblivious signs that the exposed body is disgraceful or nauseating end up with a lot increasingly close to home hang ups and hindrances bringing about lower confidence which just makes it harder to enjoy a healthy sex life.

What's more, don't be hesitant to converse with youngsters about sex. It unquestionably includes definitely more than "where do babies originate from." Considering the effect sex, or absence of sex, has on one's life, it appears to be really senseless to make everybody make sense of everything for themselves by experimentation. Try not to shrivel away from chances to converse with your kids about what you've realized with regards to picking a partner and keeping up a relationship. Regardless of whether you don't feel effective, they can profit by your transparency and experience.

Folks, put forth a concentrated effort and figure out how to get laid. Try not to state moronic stuff that solitary serves to expand protection from sex. You need sex. Try not to remove your nose to demonstrate hatred for your face by sending messages that what you truly need is appalling or loathesome. Furthermore, don't let yourself arrive at a point where you are so frantic for sex it's everything you can consider. It appears. We've all observed an unneutered hound that attempts to bump the leg of everybody that tags along; it's not appealing and it won't assist you with arriving at your objective. Try not to be reluctant to assume control over issues occasionally to discharge overabundance strain so you can introduce the genuine you to forthcoming partners.

What's more, recollect, sex is a two way road. Men wouldn't need sex constantly on the off chance that they once in a while ever had a genuine orgasm and it's the equivalent for women. I know women who have never had a true blue, shivering, mind blowing, toe twisting orgasm! Why, in light of the fact that their partners were unmistakably progressively worried about their own pleasure as opposed to concentrating on supporting a durable sexual relationship. On the off chance that all you care about is yourself, at that point proceed to pay somebody to deal with your requirements. Legitimate and directed prostitution could go far to mitigating the overwhelming measure of sexual strain and coming about wrongdoing in our general public.

Envision an existence where there is no sexual strain. Hang tight, I'm not discussing a reality where individuals go around stripped engaging in sexual relations everywhere with any individual who happens to go along. I'm discussing an existence where individuals are glad and OK with their bodies and sex. Where individuals are not all that urgent for physical warmth that they are in reality increasingly alluring. A reality where individuals have a sense of security and ready to free themselves up to all the valuable impacts of sex. It's a difficult task, I know. We've never had such a general public, however it's justified, despite all the trouble to attempt.

[words-writ-in-starlight]

Who is toby daye? What is this book series? You have me extremely curious.

Toby Daye, or October Daye, is the titular character of the absolutely phenomenal urban fantasy series by Seanan McGuire, and YOU NEED TO READ THEM.

Listen, I’m gonna pitch them under the cut at more length, but seriously.  

Do you like urban fantasy, Celtic folklore, and fairy tales?  

Do you like emotionally complex characters?  

Do you like creative magic, diversity, and/or well-executed romance?  

Do you like the Dresden Files but wish that it had less...Written By A Straight White Dude-ness about it?

Have you ever read a book on my recommendation and liked it before?

If you answered yes to any of the above, then don’t bother to read any further.  Congratulations, I have your next series, it’s called October Daye, get the first book on Amazon for two dollars.  Just trust me and shell out for Rosemary and Rue and come talk to me after you’ve been converted.

Now for a long pitch.

All right...listen.

Do you see up there where I mentioned the Dresden Files?  And the Written By A Straight White Dude-ness of it?  I’m gonna take a minute to drag Jim Butcher.

I love the Dresden Files.  I really do.  I haven’t read many of them, but Harry’s a great character and it’s a deeply crazy universe that I enjoy very much.  HOWEVER.  You know what I have trouble with?  How much Butcher talks about the nipples of every woman Harry ever meets. The way that there are only women who Harry wants to fuck, basically.  The frankly limited scope of characters--I think there might be one gay character in the series thus far?  Does he have a boyfriend?  Not sure.  

Trust me.  Now that I’ve mentioned the nipple thing, you’ll never unsee it.

But so this landed me in kind of a dilemma, once I realized these problems.  See, I love the fantasy noir thing, and Jim Butcher does a good job with it, but I was having a lot of trouble finding a series that filled a few vital criteria:

Original fantasy content

Detective novel

Does not treat women like props

Engaging writing style

Like, maybe one gay character who’s onscreen more than once, like maybe at least one

Which does not seem like a high bar, but most of the books I found managed 3 or 4 out of 5, so I settled.  A lot.  And I was aware of settling, but I wanted books to read more than I wanted to observe ideological purity, so whatever, right?

I N C O R R E C T

Because turns out Seanan McGuire exists.  And in her infinite kindness, she has blessed us with the October Daye series.  Which has all of those things, plus some really fascinating fantasy politics and an absolutely warm and uplifting found family plotline.  Toby goes from being a depressed loner with a death wish to living in a house full of people who love her with allies all over the coast, and it’s just...extremely nice.

The basic idea of Toby’s world is pretty simple: Faerie directly overlays our world, and that causes some problems.  Toby is a changeling, half-human and half-fae, and when the books pick up, she’s well out of her life in Faerie, having recently lost fourteen years and her entire mortal life--home, husband, and daughter--to a curse.  So she works as a cashier in a grocery store and tries not to see the pixies, as it were.

Then her friend gets killed and uses the oldest, cruelest magic available to bind Toby to solving her murder, leaving Toby with the option to either rejoin Faerie or die under the weight of the spell.  Toby, not being a fucking moron, opts for the former.

Whatever you want, these books pretty much have.  

A huge variety of family dynamics, found and blood related, ranging from “you tried to murder me but it’s okay I love you anyway” to “you ignored me for my whole childhood so fuck off” to “it doesn’t matter that we’re family because I’m going to kill you if I can” to really genuinely healthy “hey listen I’m here to support you and protect you because I love you”.

A really delightful mix of the archaic with the modern--sure, that boy might know the forms of courtly manners like a 15th century lordling, but he’s also got Opinions on Toby’s musical taste.  Hey, that faerie saw the rise of civilization, but she likes Phish Food.

T R A G E D Y.  Oh boy, wait till you get to One Salt Sea.

Romance!  Toby is straight, explicitly, and her romances are very Good in very different ways and the endgame romance is just *chef kiss* perfection.  Her endgame love interest is bisexual, explicitly.  Her squire is bisexual, explicitly, and has a girlfriend and a boyfriend.  Her [REDACTED] is a lesbian, or at least is a woman with an extremely adorable girlfriend.  One of her allies is the aforementioned faerie from the rise of civilization, who has an exceedingly sad story about her short-lived romance with a woman.  Every relationship is totally unique and engaging and reads as very real, which I’ve observed in the past as one of Seanan’s strong points--the characters very clearly like each other as people and spend time demonstrating that, rather than just having dramatic love scenes and nothing else.

This one might just be me, but I really appreciate that there’s no romantic tension rooted in cheating or vast misunderstandings or even really love triangles.  People have fucking conversations, if they’re upset.  For the brief period where there’s the suggestion of a love triangle involving Toby, the attitude of the non-boyfriend is very much “Hey, you know what, I didn’t step up before you got together with this guy, when I had the chance, so I can’t complain although I reserve the right to dislike your boyfriend.”  And that’s...so goddamn refreshing I can’t even articulate it.

The magic is super cool!  The faeries are super cool!  The high fantasy politics are super cool!  The plots are super cool!  Seanan does an amazing job of drenching fairy tales in blood and making them beautiful!

Ultimately, here’s my pitch.  This is an adult fantasy book series that loves being what it is, and it’s genuinely a joy to read.  There has never been a moment where I have been dissatisfied with the progression of it, nor a moment where I felt left out of the universe.  As Toby grows into herself and the dynamic changes, I never feel like the tension of the universe or the relationships between characters have suffered for it, nor that Toby is unrecognizable--the development of her character is seamless and genuinely uplifting.  This is a universe I could spend years in without getting bored, and a character I’ll never fall out of love with.

Read.  These.  Fucking.  Books.

[taeguboi]

BTS as a family

Request: ‘ bts as 1 big family? I know u get the stuff w/ jin as the mom all the time but I wanna c what u think their roles are’

Headcanon Masterlist

Thanks for requesting! Check out my other HCs in the link above!

Rap Monster / Namjoon

The Older Brother 

Joon

who thinks he can act like the father figure when dad is away, 

but really, it’s them who need to protect him

Somehow has more accidents than his dongsaengs

But he’s a really good tutor

So dad doesn’t have to always help with the kids’ homework

encourages Taehyung 

every time he thinks he’s found his dream occupation

even though it changes like 8473299 times a week

has a soft spot for the mysterious child that is Jeongguk

House is getting cramped

but they can share a room

Lets anyone share a bed with him if they’ve had a nightmare

cuddle monster

baby sits occasionally

plays peekaboo with the tots

and it’s all nice and fun

until he covers his eyes one minute

and then HOLY CRAP WHERE HAS THE CHILD GONE

has to fish Taehyung down from a shelf

and pull Jimin out of the fridge

then Jeongguk’s crying because he’s due a nappy change

and then holy fuck why do safety pins exist when they make your finger bleed?

thinks his brothers are some sort of curse on him for a solid year

because the accidents only happen when they’re around

but then catches dad burning his hand on the stove like

oh

probably shouldn’t have held those rituals to rid the curse

has to study at friend’s houses a lot though

so he’s not always at home

very independent as a result

because as much as he loves his brothers

they get so goddamn noisy

I guess that’s why they can come sleep in his room

because many study nights turn into sleep overs

probably only sleeps in his own bed about 3 days a week during high school years

the most trustworthy child

Jin /Seokjin

The single parent

with A LOT on his hands!

Don’t ask how he acquired so many children

He just did

“You’re adopted!”

when one of his kids just won’t shut the f*ck up!

But then goes soft when they cry

Even though it was their own stupid fault

“Goddammit, I suppose I should take you out shopping or something then”

Still puts notes in the kids packed lunches

he has to be both parents 

but somehow to the kids, it feels like he’s three or four parents 

because he puts in 150-200% effort in everyday

Gets distressed at every milestone

he doesn’t want them to grow up

Starts crying in the middle of the clothes store

because he was only here last week

for the same child

how tf did Tae go up 2 shoe sizes this week?

why do Jeongguk’s shirts keep tearing so easily?

when did Jimin’s voice break?!

no recollection of Namjoon being a child, help

Slipping Through My Fingers by ABBA on repeat

He does have a tendency to over do the whole protective thing

there’s going to be a lesson to be learned from this

but I’m just going to tell it to you now 

so you don’t have to go through all that upset and heart-break

but he gets some help along the way to let go a little

“Seokjin, why does Taehyung’s wallpaper now have a... rubbery theme to it?”

“Harry Potter is a bad influence and I will not have my baby having five thousand head injuries!”

“Jin, I know the kid can do some dumb things, but do you honestly think he’s going to try that many times?”

Makes the other parents jealous 

he doesn’t mean to though

he can’t help if he invites the kids’ friends round for tea, that his cooking happens to be better....

the other half of the parents of the kids at school however are single and all have a thing for him

Will buy everything his child needs for a project

perhaps a bit gullible at times

“a skateboard?”

“for science. gravity.”

“oh, okay”

Waves with a little hanky when the kids go on school trips

“have you got your bag?”

“have you got the lunch I packed you?”

“Yes dad, all 6 boxes of it”

Has some quirks that he won’t admit he has

or that the kids have picked up from him

“Why does Jeongguk make racing car sounds when he runs still?”

*shrugs*

“I have no idea”

*goes to put something on the shelf making a swanee whistle sound*

“Why does Taehyung still believe in unicorns?”

“Shut up! They’re totally real!”

Cliches

eat your crusts to get stronger

carrots to see in the dark

beauty sleep

the early bird gets the worm

*goddammit now the kids are waking up at 5am to take all the contents of the fridge*

err, too much chocolate milk makes you sad

“but it tastes so good Dad!”

“Goddammit children we should be endorsed for chocolate milk!!!”

Wants to hear all about your day

“Dad, I’m 27 now”

“I don’t care Namjoon. Tell me about your day.”

“Daaaad”

“and I made you hot chocolate and cookie, come snuggle on the couch with me”

Family photos at xmas with matching sweaters

From the

“Look at this piece of art that Jeonggukkie made for me today!”

*sticks it on the fridge but it’s made of pasta and lolly sticks so it keeps sliding down*

to the

“Oh my life my ChimChim has graduated uni!”

even the

“You just burped the alphabet? My son is so talented!”

“You made a rap about breakfast? Genius!”

Everything the kids do is amazing and a big achievement

Suga / Yoongi

Grandad by blood to one of the kids

Pop-pops to all the kids anyways

No one is quite sure which kid is his grandchild though

Tbh he's just here for some peace and quiet

(Chance would be a fine thing though...)

Owns that one chair in the living area

over the years, the general room design and furniture cahnges

but that chair stays

Just watches the kids do stupid shit

Guk’s about to put a crayon up his nose

and Tae is about to walk through a wall

but he ain’t gonna stop them

“Let the idiots learn from their own mistakes”

*crash!* *bang!* 

*crying*

“You raised morons.”

Makes less gestures 

but when he does, they’re huge

kinda like how some people pay for things weekly, and some monthly

One of the few grandparents that doesn’t constantly share their war stories

he just shares his own experiences when relevant

Though Taehyung is always asking for him to tell another story

“Tae, it’s 10pm”

“Just one more story pop-pops, please?”

He has more impact on the kids than he realizes

they adore him so much

and he wonders why the parents that helped create these kids don’t want to be around to raise them with Jin

but he wouldn’t have this family any other way

Gives the most heart-warming, tear-jerking toasts

everyone thought they were gonna cry at Jimin’s wedding because of the vows and love is beautiful and all the rest

but instead, everyone ends up being lame for the story of how pop-pops met his one true love

and the ending makes you emo for weeks

No one quite knows why he acts so indifferent

because he has such soft stories

Namjoon wonders for a while in his childhood

and then when he’s grown up

one day when he’s no longer living at home and drops in to say hello

Pop-pops is in his chair

watching the kids shooting each other with nerf guns

whites socks sliding on the kitchen lino

and sound effects

and then Namjoon sees it;

Pop-pops likes to just watch the kids progress day by day

watching them learn from their mistakes

watching them develop as people

that’s why he’d never step in when there was a recipe for disaster about to happen

He encourages Jin 

to make sure they grow up into well-rounded people

rather than put them in bubblewrap

and he couldn’t have done a better job.

J-Hope / Hoseok

That cool uncle

Uncle Hobi

That everyone adores, especially the youngest 

because he comes back with a gift every visit

Puts up with a lot of shit from the younger kids

because he can go home at the end of the day

Proudest uncle in the world

goes to all the kids events with Jin

although it’s a problem when he’s watching a match and two of the kids are on opposite teams like

“go on you reds! you can do i---”

“oh nice tackle blues! sock it to them!”

“I love both teams!”

all the other adults are confused

“Everyone’s a winner; go purple!!!”

Owns so much cool stuff

sometimes the kids sleep round at his

they’re fighting over the arcade machine

challenging each other to snooker or darts matches

arguing about the artwork on the wall

uncle hobi just smiles

Takes them out every weekend

so many fond memories

Spends all his money on the kids

there’s that one game Jeongguk’s not so good at at the arcade

but he’s addicted to it

so cool uncle hobi keeps giving him quarters

*2 days later”

“Look! Uncle Hobi! I finally won!”

“Well done, champ!”

Yeah, and it only cost him 200 dollars...

and guess who feeds Taehyung’s taste for Gucci?

or rather, guess who started it?

Jimin doesn’t ask for much

but uncle Hobi is always showering him with gift baskets when the others aren’t around

Namjoon sometimes joins them on their little outings

and he tells uncle Hobi all about the the new things he’s learned in school

and then Hobi find himself writing a cheque mid conversation

“Uh, Uncle Hobi, what are you doing?”

“Just take my money and go change the world!!”

It’s impossible to be prouder than Jin

but he’s pretty close

Jimin 

The middle brother

Chim

Who gets to order Tae and Guk around

as they get older, he’ll double dare them to some stupid shit

and they’ll do it

Younger brothers are just there for his amusement.

It’s the only reason they were born 

Like remember that one time it was snowing and he triple dared them to lick that frozen pole...?...

Takes more influence from pop-pops than he realizes

“It’s not my fault they were stupid enough to do it”

Doesn’t like it when Jungkook grows up

Yesterday, he was at Jimin’s shoulder level

but today, Jungkook is patting his head 

Probably because of all those times Jungkook took the last of the chocolate milk

“JEON JUNGKOOK!!!”

and

“Stop copying me Jeongguk; I did it first!”

but nawh, he does adore the youngest bro

back up older brother

you know that mem

the one where it’s like

*someone is sad*

and then

Jimin: [that picture of him peaking round the corner being a cute lil mochi]

He’s mostly like that for Tae

but when Joon leaves home

he’s there for Guk too in this way

He’s a good listener

which he gets from Dad Jin and brother Joon

bonds more with Tae as time goes by

mainly because the other brothers move out first

Falls for the best friend of the girl Taehyung is dating

oh look at that, it turns out she’s his soulmate

double dates with his bro

embarrassing childhood stories

but the girls just find it charming, really

so many family get together events because of these two brothers alone

21st birthday parties

they could have had a combined celebration

but why do that when you can have twice the fun?

Taehyung’s friends are Jimin’s friends

and vice versa

Jin watches them on movie night from the kitchen for a moment being proud

and then makes them extra popcorn

“Dad, we’ll get fat!”

“Good; I like my children to have chubby cheeks”

what other life events? oh yeah

engagement parties

weddings

emotional toasts 

about how they’ve gotten closer these recent years

followed by a baby story

“Tae, I can’t believe you told them that!”

“What? You showed everyone my baby pictures at my last birthday party!”

It’s kinda weird when Jimin and Taehyung fall out

because when they fall out

it’s not even a proper argument

like they don’t even know how to argue

“Dammit Jimin! Did you have to dress better than me tonight?!... Like seriously, where did you get that sweater?”

“Kim Taehyung! Did you steal that hair dye I bought?!... Oh wait never mind, that really suits you”

Secrets that make them even closer

they don’t always like to burden Dad

so they tell each other instead

Tae helps Jimin come out of his shell

and in return, Jimin helps Taehyung understand people better

Very capable of living independent lives

but feel empty without one another for too long

V / Taehyung

That child you cannot leave alone for 2 seconds

Bwi / TaeTae as a child, then

Tae as he gets older

“Okay, Tae Tae, I’m just going upstairs for something, so don’t touch anything”

“WTF KIM TAEHYUNG WHY AND HOW IS THE FRIDGE ON FIRE!?!”

Gets ice cream all over his face after one lick

Takes ‘the floor is lava’ game very seriously

creates the most laundry for Jin to do

because he’s always climbing and skidding 

and just being a boy really

Wants to pet everything, and

Wants a pet everything

“Dad! Can we get a dog?”

“How about a bunny?”

“How about a unicorn?”

“...Unicorns don’t exist Tae; they’re made up”

“Shut up! They’re totally real!”

(Like father, like son...)

Usually a carrier when there’s illness going round at school

“Look TaeTae, I know you don’t feel ill, but just be careful not to...”

*Tae sneezes really loudly without covering his face*

...

Lives for bedtime stories

loves fairytales

but comes to love underrated literature even more

so he really appreciates where those tales derived from

like old folklores and myths, etc

but also the more modern pieces that follow

and he knows all the pre-Brothers Grimm versions

but still somehow remains pure

santa is always real, no matter what you tell him

and the tooth fairy

and the easter bunny

Everyone knows Taehyung is a unique child

he just has a different perspective to most of the children

no one knows where it came from 

and not even Jin can credit himself for that

and he’s either going to grow up to be really smart

or a solitary eccentric

Has like a million teddy bears

they all get equal cuddles

one for each day of the week month year

Wants to try everything when he grows up

“Daddy, I want to be a surgeon!”

and it’s like a new occupation each day

“Lawyer!”

“Archaeologist!”

“Dentist!”

you never knew there were so many jobs in the world

“Shoplifter!”

“Shoplifter? What? Tae, you can’t steal things!”

Looking back, you wouldn’t believe that stupid shit came out of his mouth

he grows up so intelligent

and becomes a writer for children’s books

Defends any family member no matter what

even if there’s a chance they’re in the wrong

but that don’t matter because they’ve raised him so right

Jin cries when he leaves home because he’s raised

husband material

Ends up extending the family by 60%

adorable little puppies for children

and then adorable children as cute as puppies

and because he’s forever a child by spirit

he raises them to believe and be happy and have a little faith

It’s so hard to pick godparents

but he picks Jimin eventually

Fathers of a new generation of kids

Wow, they grow up so fast

Jungkook

Another child that needs constant supervision

‘Guk / Jeonggukie / Gukkie

Puts everything in his mouth

“No Jeonggukie! You can’t eat uncle Hobi!”

With baby Bwi he’s a 

LITTLE MONSTER

Not even sure he’s Jin’s kid

or just a friend Bwi brought into the house one day

No one realizes until he’s like 11 years old

that he’s one of Pop-pops’ grandkids

"How could you not tell us something like that Yoongs?”

“What? You never asked...

“...also, he’s a moron”

but pop-pop Yoongs doesn’t mean it

He just doesn’t want to give Jungkook special treatment

back to Guk

Gets way too hyper before his teens 

then one day Jin is the garage trying to fix the car and Jeongguk won’t leave him alone

and in a panic he sees some weights like

“Here have a go on these”

and that’s why Jeongguk grows up to be a 

muscle pig

becomes stronger than all his older siblings 

they actually get low key scared of him in adulthood

also becomes like really good at fixing stuff

so when Namjoon moves out

Guk follows not long after to share an apartment with him

and it saves a bit of money on repairs

so it’s kinda cute

because in childhood, Namjoon would fix Gukkie’s broken heart with his wisdom and wise advice

and in adulthood, Jeongguk fixes Namjoon’s broken furniture with his more practical skills

Won’t admit it but

copies Jimin

on purpose

but like I say, he won’t admit it

“Jeongguk!! I had muscles first!”

“Whaaat?” 

*crushes a walnut with his bare fist*

he just smiles

because he’s finally as strong as his great older bro

Gathers a lot of hobbies and interests

he has something he can share with each family member

If he wants to talk about something, all he has to do is

ask Jimin if he wants a video game night or

ask Dad to bake Gukkie Cookies with him or

-- sorry --

ask Tae to meet at the book store or

ask Joon for an anime marathon or

ask uncle Hobi to come bowling or

ask pop-pops if he’s interested in a spot of golf

fortunately, he doesn’t even have to say something’s up

everyone knows that’s his go to move if he needs advice

Some people would say that all the things he has are down to luck

but he knows he wouldn’t be where he is without his family

and that’s the lucky part

[workshop-at-mahoutokoro]

Pacific Rim Liveblog Thoughts

I watched Pacific Rim for the first time (yeah, I know) and told the mod of themonsterblogofmonsters that I’d liveblog/give my reactions so here they are.

-I’ll talk about the film in roughly 25 minute chunks.

0:00:00-0:25:00

This film is everything you could ever hope for in a mecha series. It’s quite fun to note all the mecha tropes and plot lines used because this movie executes them so damn well. I know I’ve heard of piloting systems like the one in PR, drifting, but the only one I can think of at the moment is Buddy Complex, which actually premiered in 2013, too. Well. PR’s drifting system is everything I wanted Buddy Complex’s to be. BC was a mess lol.

I’m not well-versed in music and soundtracks, but this one is awesome and memorable, even within the first 10 minutes or so. It’s definitely not one of those shows where you forget the entire soundtrack two minutes after you finish watching.

There were a lot of amusing little gems scattered here and there like: -The Jaeger pilots being like celebrities in the early years. Very realistic and reminds me that I have to watch Tiger & Bunny sometime (the non-Netflix version lol). -The kaiju, as living things, actually adapted to fight against the Jaegers and their pilots. I liked that. -The gallows humor: bad news is, we lost 3 guys; good news is, we have 3  job openings! -“I’m guessing that I wasn’t your first choice” -> you were his first choice! and his only choice! because all the rest are dead! well that was inspiring -Somehow, this woman is standing in front of a helicopter holding an umbrella and the umbrella manages to stay in perfect form. literally the most unrealistic part of the movie xD -Japanese!

0:25:00-0:50:00

Lots of stuff happened in this one. The pacing is excellent- we get through SO MUCH content but it doesn’t feel too rushed. It lingers on certain characters/scenes just long enough so to leave an impact and let it sink in, but it doesn’t belabor any particular conversation or interaction. That’s quite rare in a movie as fast paced as this one.

It was probably also really tricky to pull off the connection between Raleigh and Mako. They meet and bond within these 25 minutes, plus we have other characters who need a few scenes to progress the “kaiju brain” side plot. It really worked though? I think, by having them reach a sort of mutual understanding and not go at each other’s throats right from their first meeting, it makes it easier for them to get to the point where they’re compatible.

Glad they didn’t unnecessarily build tension between them for the drama.

-These two scientists/researchers are hilarious. -YES, let’s just merge our brains with a monster one. NOTHING CAN GO WRONG. -AND it worked! Sort of. Also seemed to be causing a seizure but.

0:50:00-1:15:00

Some more good character development here. I really like how Raleigh and Mako are on the same page, before and after the drift. Again, the story pauses a bit to build tension or connections between characters without lingering too long on one or the other.

I also appreciate how mature the characters are- which would make sense, they’re adults, but that’s not always the case and something that annoys me in other shows/movies/etc. Raleigh certainly tries to convince his boss to hear him out, but after he gave it his all, he does back down for the time being.

Also, there’s no pointless blaming of other parties here for the drama. Raleigh and Mako obviously don’t blame the other for things going south. And at least you can understand why that hotheaded other pilot is angry at them. If they can’t even safely move the Jaeger around in the hangar and have everything under control in a non-combat situation, would you really trust them to have your back when it comes to the real thing? His role is basically to be a sitting duck carrying a nuclear weapon.

-WHY WOULD YOU NOT DISABLE THE PLASMA CANNON?? THIS IS A TEST RUN. -“would you like to try again?” how ‘bout no we nearly all blew up thanks helpful computer lady -“you goddamn moron” <- everyone’s thoughts except the mad scientists guy exactly -You would think they would have figured out a way to deal with the tails smacking or impaling them from behind by now but apparently not. Also a quicker way of killing them aside from beating their heads in with metal fists. -welp, that’s two down. -On a side note, I really like how the water resistance is shown? It’s just neat to see the weight of all their movements, and how the kaiju, like normal animals, are more suited to move quickly through it. -The reactor blowing up couldn’t even act as a suicide bomb though, that’s sad. -lol THE KAIJU HAVE JAMMERS never thought I’d see that on one of them.

1:15:00-1:40:00

Lots of action in this part, so not much to say aside from my reactions.

-So. Uh. If it doesn’t move and doesn’t smell human, you might not need to destroy it? Is that how they work? Kinda funny how it just stops and sniffs them when they run out of power. -At least they ended up on land? Being in the water really slows the damn machines down. -I STILL THINK YOU NEED SOMETHING A LITTLE BETTER THAN A FIST AND A FEW MISSILES. Ok. that’s better. -YES. SMART. Bring a weapon! Why did no one think of this before. Granted he brought a ship but you know. Better than nothing. -whoops flying mecha. -Excuse me. if you had a sword. why didn’t you try to use it earlier. before you got carried 50,000 ft in the sky. -I thought you had to be compatible with the person you’re piloting with? Can you just randomly replace someone?

1:40:00-end

I really like how they gave the side characters scenes to expand upon them and didn’t just shaft them in favor of the main characters. I guess it worked because Raleigh and Mako got along from the start, so they didn’t need to waste time developing unnecessary drama with them.

Also, I always appreciate a movie that doesn’t place an inconvenient sappy kiss moment at the most crucial part of the mission/action. They saved the happy hugging moment until after everything was done! And notably they didn’t kiss? What miracle is this? Instead we got a really heartfelt hug and that honestly had more emotional impact than if they would have kissed. I really wish this happened more often.

-Ah. That explains the drift compatibility thing. -Underwater is a terrible place to be moving those clunky things omg. They move even slower than on land. -OH GREAT IT HAS TENTACLES. -How is that damn thing still alive?? -lol of course it’s up to manual detonation. -Did we figure out how to get past decompression sickness in this movie? xD -lol damn that guy survived? No one even tried to get him out haha.

Overall: This movie just blew me away. It’s phenomenal, not a single thing truly frustrated me like when I usually watch these sorts of movies.

[canaryatlaw]

Alright, so today was good, went mostly according to plan. I had my alarm set for noon but woke up at 9:40 and couldn't fall back asleep again so I shrugged and got out of bed. Everyone had just left for church so it was just my sister and I, and she wanted to get some breakfast so we went to the bagel store where we both got bacon egg and cheese sandwiches on a roll which were highly satisfying. We made a quick stop at target because I needed to buy toothpaste. I finally ran out of the prescription stuff I have, and the refill expired so I guess I have to go to the damn dentist....but in the mean time I needed toothpaste. The fun part here is thanks to my acid reflux/mouth issues I can't do anything mint, which if you hadn't noticed is the entirety of the adult toothpaste selection. So I got Colgate kids watermelon. Lovely, I know. My mom's car was running low on gas so we stopped at the gas station before going home. It was fucking cold standing there and pumping gas, the snow was mostly off the roads but there was definitely some problem places, and there were apparently a shit ton of car accidents on the island yesterday. So as we were going home I was giving my sister tips on how to drive in snow, even though she probably won't start driving till next winter, it's always valuable knowledge to have, lol. So we got home and set to repack my suitcase with actually folding clothing and so it would all fit in there, cuz it wasn't currently. My bag was only at 43 pounds on the way here, so I wasn't too worried about going over 50 with Christmas presents and such (stay tuned for more on that). After that I just hung out for a while until my parents came home from church, then I said my goodbyes and we left for the airport. Of course my parents wanted to park and accompany me inside, which ended up being a pain the ass because they overcomplicate EVERYTHING and I really know what I'm doing when it comes to flying at this point because I've done it many, many times, many more than they have. And of course having them there and like, talking to the ticket lady for me makes me feel like a child, so that was annoying too. And oh, surprise. Your bag is 15 pounds overweight! Great. I would love to know where I got 22 pounds of Christmas presents and clothes, but apparently that's a thing. So the lady says we can get a bag from her for $25 and stick some stuff in it to avoid the larger overweight bag charge. So then I'm standing there unpacking my bag and putting stuff into this new one and then I really felt like a child because I couldn't even pack my damn bag right and I needed my parents to help me. Lovely. But it was over soon enough, and I wasn't really pissed, just annoyed. So we said goodbye and I headed through security and to the gate. Like I posted earlier, I downloaded a few fics onto my computer to read during the flight. Soon we were boarding, and I decided to take the middle seat next to the cute guy in front of me, normally I like window seats but the lady in the aisle seat was already standing up so it was just convenient that way. We didn't end up talking, but it's okay he wasn't really that cute, lol. So we end up in the air and I start the shorter or the two (very long) fics, which clocked in at 44 pages, and occupied me for the flight to Baltimore, which isn't very far. It was a Nyssara fic about Nyssa spending Christmas in star city with Sara and her dad after Laurel died and it was just so incredibly sweet and adorable and Nyssa is learning all these American Christmas traditions and she's so excited about all of it it's just the cutest thing ever. It's not finished yet so it has a lot of unresolved plot stuff, but I like it a lot so far. I actually took notes on my phone at the parts I loved so I could remember to comment on them later. I hope I didn't spook the author, who I don't think I've ever interacted with, with my rather enthusiastic comment. So we landed and I got to the next gate and waited for a while, finishing up that fic and then starting the next. It's like 49,000 words and 118 pages, and I subscribed to the author (she's on here somewhere but I can't recall her url at the moment) sometime before she wrote the last two chapters so the email notifications have been hanging out in my inbox for a while now, so I figured I should get around to reading it. It's captain canary of course, set after Len's death ("death") for Sara but time wise in 2013, picking up right after Mick leaves the bar after telling Snart he's a hero to him. Sara shows up and convinces him to make a deal with him, that she'd help him on 3 heists free of charge in exchange for him breaking her into a very secure house that has something that belongs to her in it. He's of course very curious about her at first and can't really figure her out, and he tried to renege on the deal in the middle of the first heist, but instead of running like he told her to she stayed and fought off the guards so he could escape, even getting shot in the process. So now he's really like ??? No idea what's going on. Then we get into the plot from the flash 2x03 when Lewis shows up and puts a bomb in his daughters neck because she's a fucking psychopath, but now he has Sara with him, and that's about as far as I got, 43 pages in. Not bad. The flight was fine, everything standard and we landed in Chi pretty soon. Got my two (😑) checked bags from the baggage claim and head over to the uber pick up spot to wait for mine to come. He got there pretty quickly, and we were off. We talked most of the way, got into a good conversation about like, trying to always be decent to people and not blowing up at some poor sap not in control of the situation that you're unleashing all your anger at, and what exactly is that gonna help anyway?? It was good. When we were fairly close I mentioned I work in the child abuse and neglect law, so we started talking about the system (which is a fairly common occurrence after I tell people that fact) and the flaws that it has, and how they could be remedied, and how difficult implementing that remedies could be. Overall it was a pretty good ride and I enjoyed the conversation, and of course he told me good luck on everything which was nice. Then came the task of carrying my fucking suitcase up the stairs to my apartment, which was fucking awful and soooo difficult, and of course when it comes to common sense like "carry your bags up one at a time" I'm a fucking moron and that didn't occur to me until I had them all up there (so good at academics, but such an idiot when it comes to common sense). But finally I made it up there, at which point I basically collapsed on the couch because I was so dead from what I just did. I did get some dinner though and decided to watch last week's episode of Conviction that I missed. I have to say, I'm sorry to see the show go. It had a very bumpy beginning, but it seems they've really found their niche now and the last few episodes have really been exceptional. It had so much potential to be something really great, but it just couldn't get off the ground quick enough to avoid the chopping block, which makes me sad. But anyway, the "ripped from the headlines" case was about schools protecting a star student athlete accused of rape, and then someone kills the bastard and one of his victims gets convicted of his murder. During the investigation they uncover that he did the same thing to 3 other girls after the first one, all of whom were too scared to come forward after seeing how the school was so awful to the first girl. It ends up being the rape crisis counselor that did it, which was an interesting choice, but she gets out so that's a happy ending at least. Their character interactions are getting better, or at least I don't want to stab the characters every five minutes, so hey that's progress. After it ended I left the tv on the news for a while and hung out on my computer for a while. I got my textbooks and looked at my reading for tomorrow night's class- 77 pages. Lol, good to be back. After a while I started getting ready for bed, and at some point my roommate came home, so I talked with her for a little bit, updated each other on our lives over break and such. I told her about the incident with the school, and she was furious and so glad we won that one. I'm gonna write out a full post on it when I get a chance, excluding personal information of course, but just laying out the facts and how fucking ridiculous the school was being. But thinking back on it, I'm really proud of myself for how that went down. Yeah, it was my dad's position that allowed us to get the chance to argue our case, but it was my words he took in there, my words that changed their minds. And like, this is the same exact thing I've been protesting with this school for so long, but this is the first time I was actually listened to and actually got justice for. And like...I really can't tell you how much that means to me. It's everything. That's why I'm here, that's why I'm in law school, to find justice for the wronged, and of course since this case involved religion as well it really for me inflamed because I love my faith so much and it makes me really fucking furious when assholes like this go around trying to hijack it for their own self-righteous needs and claim that's what their faith is. No. I'm sorry, but do not follow the same God you do. The God I know and love so so much would balk at these actions being done in his name. And it just breaks my heart to know these people are going to be responsible for turning people off to Christianity entirely, and have them think God is this judgmental angry person, like his followers, and they will never see the incredible love He has for all of us and everything that comes along with that. A quote that's stuck with me a lot lately is "you are the only bible some people will ever read." Like that's so powerful to me. When I slap on the title "Christian" my actions will be associated with my faith, and I can either cause people to be drawn closer to it or to be pushed away. Like if that's not incredibly convicting, I don't know what is. I'm ranting now though, and it's getting late so I should stop. I have to wake up around noon (lol) tomorrow so I'll have time to do my 77 pages of reading before class, haha. Fun life, but it's the life I chose and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Well, until tomorrow. Goodnight babes. Sleep tight.

[cocvillereloaded-blog]

Chapter 3- De Capo Aria: Bel Canto de Verismo)

Connor shifted his weight for the fiftieth time that night, visibly uncomfortable. He absolutely hated these stuffy, boring formal outings. Everybody around him always felt so tired and lifeless, at least that’s how they made him feel. The way these posh elitists talked with their weird accents just rubbed him the wrong way, as if they never knew what they were talking about but they were so sure of what they said anyway, hoping that someone would be impressed with them. Why did his uncle even bother with this place?

It didn’t help that the opera was dull as dirt either. He glanced down at his tiny, six-page program. These damn things never told you what was supposed to be happening. The only thing that told him anything was the front that read “COCville Opera House Presents: Where Love Goes.” He groaned and tossed the program over his shoulder. He didn’t even need to read the plot blurb for this, or even to understand what the singers were even saying to know what was happening. The dead boyfriend from the scene earlier had returned to his girlfriend, who sang and gestured at other people that had to be the family she had during the guy’s absence. And here was the guy’s vows to not leave until she returned his love, or something. He groaned again. God, this is so boring! Who wrote this?! He tried to shift in his seat so he can get the program back in a way that wouldn’t grab the attention of the one person in the box with him that he recognized.

“Yes, my dear sir, five hundred feet tall, it was, I say! Nothing at all like the shabby thirty-foot curtains in this excuse of an establishment!” the fat, frilly Gengar sitting opposite him was yelling to his guest beside him, who looked as if he wanted to leave more than Connor did. He couldn’t say he blamed him, though; this man was around complaining since Connor was a child. “Yes, sir, I say they should’ve demolished this eyesore of a theatre when that Charizard fellow left us! Oh, what was his name, Charles wasn’t it? But no, instead he just had to leave it with his nephew! Or was he the man’s son? Oh, I’ve never been so good with remembering these things! All I remember is that he didn’t leave the property to Gerald Gengar Pewtersby!”

Connor always felt like this Pewtersby guy didn’t like his uncle. He sighed and sat back in his seat. If for no other reason, he supposed that the best thing for him to do would be to wait it out. He felt like doing anything else would just leave Uncle Carl’s standing legacy to the mercy of this disrespectful fat cat. Outside of that, though, Uncle Carl always stuck it out for him before, so it only felt right to do the same for him, even if he passed on. This could be seen as payment for the money too. He thought back to that large inheritance. Man, he just couldn’t get over that. He already did his best to make a difference in the lives of his friends with it. Bram’s ring, Sam’s rug. He hoped Sam liked it enough to forgive him.

Once the overture came on, Connor felt his phone buzzing. He tried to check it in a way more respectful to those around him than stupid Pewtersby was. It was a text from Sam asking if he wanted to go out to lunch tomorrow. Connor texted ‘yes, of course’ back to him then added that to his calendar before the curtain went up. Good, we’re making progress, at least.

The curtain went back up, and Connor did his best to turn his head in a way that made it seem like he was paying attention. And that was when he saw her. She must have been an angel, she was far too beautiful for this world. This new lead singer had deep black eyes and bright blue hair that stuck up in two places almost like a cowlick. Connor could see the silver string keeping her hairstyle in place from where he sat. She was wrapped in a white and blue dress and wore a furry white scarf around her neck. Her voice was everything Connor assumed to be all of heaven and everything good in the world converted entirely to sound.

Connor found that he could ignore that idiot Pewtersby much easier now. (“I swear, the morons in charge must want to leave the business. They promised up and down that this role would be Wiona Wigglytuff!”) It took him a minute more until it struck him. He’d seen this lovely woman before: “Anna…” he whispered to himself.

After not seeing her since before high school, Anna Altaria, the girl from next door suddenly reappears. He kept his eyes on her, remembering back to the days of their childhood, the entire concept of the opera now completely irrelevant. He remembered when his uncle introduced him to her and her parents. He always said that his neighbors were very good friends, and up until that point Connor didn’t understand why. Then again, he was quite young, so he didn’t understand a lot of what his uncle said or did. He thought back to their treehouse, where the two kids would spend their entire summers together. As the years went on, Connor and Anna were said by the adults to be like two peas in a pod, if Uncle Carl was to be believed. He remembered how much Anna liked to make s’mores with his tail and talk to him about how she wanted to be a singer or ballerina. To be on stage, to have everyone clapping and cheering for her, that had always been her dream. Connor smiled wider; looks like she’s gotten her wish. Even back then, Connor didn’t have a dream like she did. He remembered how this bugged her. As he continued reminiscing he remembered how Uncle Carl would play on his violin as the sun went down. He still remembered the melody and shook his head in bemusement as he remembered on in particular. Looking back, it was as if Uncle Carl wanted them to get together. Maybe that’s why he asked me to come here. The old dog.

Connor sighed again, but was suddenly brought back to reality when a pair of opera glasses tapped him on the head. Connor died a little inside when he learned they belonged to Pewtersby.

“I must say, my good fellow, it’s impolite to those around you to be so loud and obnoxious in the middle of an opera house.” Connor didn’t reply; he just stared at the Gengar, dumbfounded by the lack of self-awareness, before turning back to the opera and returning his cheek onto his knuckles. Quietly.

Anyway, that treehouse. Connor loved that old treehouse. But it did have a few sobering memories tied to it too. He last saw Anna in that treehouse, right before they went off to high school. They lived in different towns, and Connor was only with his Uncle during the summers. At the time, he thought the kind of sadness he felt at their parting ways as what every friend felt in that situation, when school beckoned them away from each other, never to see one another again, it seemed. He knew better now, though. He didn’t feel the same way he did towards Sam or Bram as he did for Anna; Connor definitely had a crush on her. Maybe Uncle Carl just acted on what he saw from Connor, trying to make him happy. Connor didn’t know for sure. Despite how much time he’d spent with his uncle, he still wasn’t entirely convinced he knew how that weirdo thought. Connor could not bring himself to remember the exact conversation they had before she left. All he remembered was that Anna was going away to a prestigious art school a very long ways away and she would not be able to spend summers with him anymore. He still remembered quite vividly the knot that developed in his chest. He tried to hide his feelings, but it was obvious to Anna that he was upset by the news. Connor cried a little that night once she had left since he was trying to be a manly man about it in front of her, back when he still cared about such things. Ever since, he would ask his uncle if she was back, to which he’d always answer no. He seemed rather down every time he had to answer this way.

Man, Anna Altaria! He still couldn’t believe he finally saw her again. As the curtain fell, Connor immediately shook away the memories, escaped from the still-complaining Pewtersby, and made his way towards the opera owners – Travis Flygon and William Beedrill. Connor had met them earlier that day when he dropped by to confirm that he was taking his uncle’s place as the main supporter of the opera house.

“Well, she seemed like she did fine to me,” Travis was saying as Connor began walking over. It sounded like he was trying to convince William of something. “I don’t know why we have to give the main spotlight back to Wiona if she ever comes back.”

“If we don’t, there will be rioting in the streets! Wiona is a world-renowned opera star! We can’t replace her with some… with some nobody!” William snapped.

“Look, Will, I see why you’d be concerned, but I feel like we really have some untapped goldmine on our hands! I’d hate to see any of our talent go to waste.”

“It’s too much of a risk to do it now, Trav. I want to see our actors used as best they can be too, but we have too much to lose if we replace Wiona right now.”

Travis shrugged before running his hands through his dark green hair and wiggling his pink shaded glasses a bit. Connor noticed that Travis’s tail twitched as well.

“Hello, gentlemen!” Connor said in an amiable voice. Travis and William both scrambled to finish the preceding conversation and greet Connor. “Who was on stage tonight? I thought Wiona was going to -” Connor began.

“Oh, well, that’s Anna Altaria.” Travis stammered.

 “Really?” Connor gasped. It was her!

 “Wiona will come back, we’re sure of it though. Anna is just a chorus girl after-” William started.

“May I go see her?” Connor asked, not even realizing William had begun a sentence.

“Wiona?”

“Uh, no, Anna.”

 “Oh. Um… sure.” The two businessmen instantly agreed. They headed back towards the changing rooms, which a grim-looking Sierra Leavanny watched over.

“Do you need an introduction?” William Beedrill asked nervously, doing his best not to upset his opera’s newest and biggest patron.

“I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” Connor said before he began to knock on the door. If she truly remembered him, she would remember this knock. One knock, a slight pause, two soft knocks. It was his signature knock – he used it when he wanted Anna to open her bedroom window back in the day.

“Come in,” came a soft, hushed, humble voice from within. Connor let himself into the room and smiled as he was met with a grown-up version of his friend taking off her jewelry and makeup.

“Madame Leavanny, you don’t have to check on me every-” Anna began before catching Connor’s reflection in the mirror. “Oh, you’re not Madame Leavanny.”

“Never said I was. You’re Anna, right?” Connor asked.

“Yes. If you’re here to ask why Miss Wiona left today, I’m afraid I don’t have the slightest idea.” Anna replied, taking off the giant jeweled necklace she was wearing over her scarf.

 “No, actually, I’m not. To be honest, I don’t care if Wiona falls off a cliff. You were wonderful out there.” Connor said, stammering on his last sentence. He broke into a cold sweat, realizing too late how he sounded. Damnit, why’d you rush it?!

She was looking at him with suspicion now, and Connor knew he’d creeped her out. “Um, okay. Look, I don’t know who gave you permission to come back here, but I’m going to ask you to kindly leave before I call security-” Anna began.

“No, wait! I’m sorry,” Connor squeaked quickly. Squeaked. Damnit. He hated himself so much, why’d he have to be an idiot this quickly?! “I’m not in here to do anything to you, I swear! I just… I just wanted to know if you remembered me.”

Anna remained motionless for a second before removing her scarf and turning to face him. “Remember you?” She lifted an eyebrow dangerously, or at least it felt dangerous to Connor. “Can’t say I do. Where would we have met each other?” This was not going the way Connor had hoped it would at all. A small part of him expected that he’d stride in confidently and greet her with a smile, earning her fawning adoration. Apparently that only worked for Bram.

“Well, um, it’s- it’s Connor. Connor Charizard. You remember, right? We used to spend every summer together as kids… I had a tree house?” He began, not budging from his spot near the door in case he had to flee suddenly.

The silence between them was pushing down on Connor’s shoulders more and more. The only sound in the room came from the after party outside the door. Anna’s eyes danced around as they did whenever she was deep in thought. Just as Connor could no longer take the suspense, Anna lit up and gasped. All of the memories they shared when they were younger may as well have been playing back on a projector reel behind her eyes. “Wait, Uncle Carl, right?”

“Yeah!” Connor felt he could die inside, this time for a completely different reason.

 “Yeah, I remember now! Uncle Carl would play the violin, and I’d sing along. You always said I was wonderful at singing.” Even though they weren’t actually related, Anna always referred to Uncle Carl as her own uncle, a sentiment that he didn’t shy away from sharing with the girl. Thinking back to it, Connor remembered how he seemed to want the two kids to be together, how he’d ask them if she was staying every time she had to leave. At the time, they both thought he was joking.

Anna, beaming and looking even more beautiful than she did on stage a few moments before, began excitedly listing off her memories they had together, which Connor was more than happy to join in on. Together, they remembered the times they got into trouble with the neighbor behind Uncle Carl, the awful Mr. Sullivan Granbull, by accidentally dropping things into his backyard. “Still not sure why he didn’t actually live in his house,” Anna wondered aloud. They recalled the time that they were stuck in their treehouse during a terrible lightning storm. It actually got to the point where Anna had to do everything she could to keep Connor dry or else his tail fire would have gone out. They were almost afraid to go back into the treehouse for a few days afterwards. Connor remembered how Anna got so exhausted from protecting her friend from the elements that she fell asleep on top of him. He said nothing to her about it back then, and he wasn’t about to say anything now. Anna then recollected the one summer where they tried to make a go cart in their tree house. They almost had it ready before they realized they didn’t know how to get it back out. Because it was more Uncle Carl’s idea, they both just left him to get it out. He didn’t seem to mind, though, he always was such a good-natured man.

“Did Uncle Carl send you?” Anna continued. “I haven’t seen him for weeks now. He’s always talking about you.”

Connor felt like he’d been rudely punched in the gut as he was pulled back to the present day. “Um… no. Uncle Carl’s…. well, he passed away last night.”

Anna gasped in shock, tears welling up in her eyes as she turned back to her mirror to try and hide them. “Oh, I… I’m sorry.” She turned back to Connor, not trying as hard to hide the tears. “Why didn’t I hear sooner?”

Connor reached for her hand, trying to be reassuring. “It’s not your fault, Anna. It only happened last night, and you’ve been pretty busy lately.”

“It’s just- I knew he was sick, but I- I thought he was getting better…” Anna choked, tears rolling down her cheeks. Connor knew she and Uncle Carl got along, that they probably still talked when she started working here, but he didn’t think they’d been this close for all this time.

“He left me the opera sponsorship. So that’s why I came here. Maybe, in a way, this was him sending me.” Connor chuckled, trying to make her smile. He was starting to believe his own words, though. He really was trying to enforce his will from beyond the grave, it seemed.

Anna sniffled and looked at her vanity, searching for a handkerchief to dry her tears. “First time in years you see me, and I have to start crying,” she muttered bitterly, the last word uttered as if cursing herself. “I’m sorry, Connor.”

“Don’t be.” Connor handed her the handkerchief he found in his suit pocket earlier that day when he bought the suit.

“Thank you,” Anna said between sniffles.

“You can keep it. I’ll get another one.” Connor smiled.

Anna smiled back, her eyes still a little weepy. He hated to see her cry, he always did, but he couldn’t shake how cute she looked.

“Oh, Connor!” Anna exclaimed suddenly, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him close. “I thought you had forgotten all about me!”

“Forgotten you? I could never forget you!” Connor replied, hugging her back. “I went to Uncle Carl’s almost every week to ask him if you came back from school yet. By the way, when did you come back?”

“Just a couple of weeks ago,” Anna admitted, pulling away from their hug. Connor let her go, albeit with a reluctance he tried to hide. “I was thinking about going to look for you, but I thought that’d be weird. That I’d look like a crazy stalker or something.”

You mean like I just did? He felt himself turning red.

Anna noticed this and smiled. “Well, anyway. I have a job here at the opera as a member of the chorus.”

“Only the chorus? But your voice… you were the star tonight!” Connor added. He wished someone told him about her being in the chorus, whoever came up with that idea would have a piece of his mind!

“Well, that’s only because Wiona left the opera house today in a rage. Someone wrote her a note about how she’s our worst singer. I can’t blame whoever sent it, though, her singing sends me to sleep.” Anna sighed.

Connor thought this over. The only person he could think of that would care enough would have to be that Pewtersby guy. Wait, no, that doesn’t make sense. He wanted her to be here, didn’t he? Right?? He shook this off and laughed a bit. “Well, you deserve her job anyway.” Connor was being as serious about his words as he felt he could be. Anna let out a slight, weary chuckle. “What?” Connor asked.

“You always think things like that, Connor. You always say I’m amazing.” Anna sighed.

“But it’s true!” Connor interjected.

“I’ll take your word for it,” Anna mused. “What have you done since I’ve been gone? It’s been a good… eight, ten years?”

 “Oh. I’m a chef at Mimi’s Diner.” Connor muttered, trying to say it under his breath so she wouldn’t notice his embarrassment.

 “Oh, you work at Mimi’s? I’ve been planning on going sometime, I haven’t been since they first opened! I’m glad to see that you’re cooking professionally!” Anna said, grinning ear to ear as she slid off her bracelets. “You always made the best food. You need to make me that award-winning quiche of yours now that we found each other again!”

Connor matched his friend’s smile at the mention of his quiche. Not only was it award-winning, it was an undefeated champion. He’d perfected it because his Uncle Carl and Anna loved it so much. She was better than he remembered. Not only has she not changed as the sweet person she was, but she was now the star that liked being a person just as much. There needed to be more people in the world like her.

Anna and Connor spent a good half hour chatting away until Anna asked him to leave so she could change out of her bulky opera costume. Connor agreed, said goodbye, and decided he’d head on home. It was the first time in forever that either one of them had felt so cherished.

I hope it stays this way for a while, Connor thought as he walked up the stairs to his apartment.

==

Chris glared over at the approaching enemy as she stood defiantly between them and her fine city of CWCville. Yet another day of fighting; hopefully this will be the last. Her friends in the Chaotic Combo stood behind her, awaiting the battle alongside her. Chris was glad they were all there for her. And not just them, but also her otherdimensional counterpart, Night Star, and the Draconequus Discord were there to help her out. Punchy smacked his spiked fists together a few times and swung at the air. "Let's get going!"

Chris pointed imperatively at the approaching horde and shouted "Graduon!" The army stopped in response, and the two leaders, Count Graduon and Dr. Ren Skysoar, pulled up to the front. Skysoar looked bemused by all this, while the wizard Graduon looked more serious about this whole thing. "You and Kurome are both misguided! You're stopping here and now, so make this easier on yourself and turn back!"

Sonichu jumped in front of his mother in a ready stance. "Yeah, go away before we make you!"

The horde of villains laughed. Chris didn't falter, but took a quick look around at the army of Jerkops, Janekops, enormous lumbering Decepticlones, and artificial lifeforms from the world of Gamindustri. Graduon replied with "Hmph. Sorry, Christine Weston Chandler, but we've prepared for you all this time. You cannot stop us this time!"

Chris looked around at her friends. Sonichu, Punchy, Wild, they were revving to go. Rosechu, Bubbles, Robee, Cera, Christine Rosechu, they eyed the enemy with determined expressions. Angelica Rosechu hovered above them, hands clasped to ready herself for healing. Silvana, Blake, and Simonla looked over to Chris, hoping she knew what she was doing. The unicorn Night Star and Discord glanced at each other, light, knowing smiles on their faces. Chris glanced at Magi-Chan, who stared ahead with his arms crossed, and smirked before turning back to their opponents. "Okay, have it your way." Magi-Chan, give the signal.

Right. And with that, the psychic hedgehog closed his eyes, prompting a small army of police officers, and several Transformers to run in from around the many street corners to join the heroes. Five figures in body suits, one red, one yellow, one blue, one pink, and one green, all jumped in from atop a building, all striking different martial arts poses directly behind Chris. Angelica gasped in surprise when she looked around her and found five girls with mechanical wings hovering around her. “The Gamindustri Goddesses!”

One of these Goddesses with orange hair laughed. “Yep! Chris thought it’d be a better idea to get this going before taking the time to tell you guys.”

Chris laughed at the surprise on Graduon’s and Skysoar’s faces. “Uzume’s right, guys! Sorry to keep y’all in the dark! Well, Count Graduon! If we can’t convince you with words, I guess we’ll just have to do this the old-fashioned way.” And with that, she pressed her hands across her chest, and the Sonichu Medallion around her neck. She burst out in a flash of bright light, and immediately traded out her human form for the form of a blue-furred humanoid hedgehog like her allies, including a thunderbolt-shaped tail, ears, and a black nose. Chris pointed at their enemies, who have now recovered from the shock of a small army appearing from nowhere to oppose them. “Get ready, everybody!”

Graduon’s eyes glowed red as he seemingly grew a couple of inches in anger. “ATTACK!!” he hollered in a distorted, deeper voice than the one he used a moment ago. Skysoar pressed multiple buttons on a remote control as he cackled madly. Seemingly in response to his inputs, the army of Jerkops advanced on the defense force, the Transformers immediately engaged with a swarm of Decepticlones. A man in a full suit of metallic and red jumped forward yelling as he attacked the Power Rangers, the Jerkops strangely acting as if setting a defensive perimeter around this man. Another Jerkop with metal limbs bounced around several times, screaming a battle cry, as he attacked Blake, who managed to block the hit with a well-timed elbow strike. The two combatants continued to trade blows as they ran off. A forty-foot-tall robot with a head in a jar affixed atop the body ran forward and clashed with Son-Chu, the two giant robots wrestling each other, refusing to give ground. A black man in golden armor rushed the Goddesses, letting out a roar more like a lion’s than a man’s as he rammed himself into Neptune. Another black man from the PVCC’s side yelled out a sentence that nobody managed to hear properly as he shot after Punchy, Bubbles, and Wild.

Sonichu rushed in as fast as he could, leading his family in the charge, as he made straight for Graduon. “You’re wide open, Graddy!-“ He suddenly yelled out in pain, his family in surprise, as a large yellow metallic object rushed him and flew about with him in tow. Sonichu grunted as he tried to break free. “Metal Sonichu!” The robot replied by pushing its prey into the side of a building, running him along the windows, dealing lots of damage, and showering the embattled streets below with glass and debris.

Robee found herself leading the family this time, now in pursuit of her father. “C’mon, guys, they’re getting away!” She blew down 30th street, bowling over Jerkops along the way, with her mother and sisters doing everything they can to try and keep up.

“Slow down, we can’t keep up!” Cera yelled in vain after her sister.

Christine ran alongside her mother and glanced over inquisitively. “You have a plan, Mom?”

“Uh, let me think…” Rosechu examined the area as they ran along, trying to find something they could use to maybe make a trap of some kind.

+++

Chris didn’t have time to wonder what happened to Sonichu before she ducked under and knocked away several Jerkops. She could see him. Graduon. If she could take him out, they win. She rushed at Graduon, who noticed and simply stood there, glaring at her. Suddenly, she too got knocked back by some unseen force. She gingerly lifted herself off the ground as a familiar laughing voice came closer and closer. “Naitsirhc!”

“We’ve got a score to settle, Christine,” the green-haired hedgehog spat before kicking her several feet into the air. Midway through her arc, however, Chris managed to regain her composure, perform three flips in midair, and land on the ground. She immediately dodged away from a dive kick and pushed herself back into the new opponent’s stomach.

“Why didn’t I expect you to appear?” She blocked two punches aimed at her face and replied with a kick.

Naitsirhc blocked the kick and smirked. “Maybe it’s because you’re a stupid girl, now, bro!”

Chris growled, noticing in her peripheral vision as Graduon lifted his hand, palm facing towards her, as he prepared to fire an energy blast at her. Suddenly, his arm transformed into a tree branch. “What?!”

“Not so fast, Graduon!” Chris smiled; it was Night Star. Discord floated beside her, the way he held his claws suggesting that the transfiguration was his doing. “You can’t get past all of us! Magi-Chan!”

“Right!” The hedgehog fired a Psybeam at the villain, who managed to break off his tree branch of an arm, replaced with an instantly-regrown human arm, just in time to engage the attack in a beam lock. Graduon yelled out in anger as he held back the magic from the two Equestrians and the attack from Magi-Chan.

Chris continued trading blows evenly with Naitsirhc, who seemed to be enjoying himself immensely. They rushed in and out, punching and kicking and shooting off lightning at each other each chance they got, but neither managing to gain any ground on the other. Chris grunted and turned her attention to Graduon again as an idea struck her. She didn’t exactly need to defeat Graduon. “Graduon, you have to listen! Kurome doesn’t want what she told you she wants!” The wizard didn’t pay her any heed, probably because of the battle he found himself in. Still, she had to try. “She doesn’t want to rule the world, she wants to destroy it!”

Naitsirhc laughed and landed a punch on Chris’ left cheek. “What’re you tryna do, win him over with lies or something? You should focus on me first, bro!”

Chris rubbed her cheek and narrowed her eyes at Naitsirhc. “Rrgh. Fine.” She yelled out and ran at her opponent, fist clenched.

+++

Uzume blasted their opponent with her megaphone as the others tended to Neptune. Whoever this guy was, he knew how to hit hard. Vert was shouting at Neptune, trying desperately to get her to answer if she was alright, and Neptune, who was still not quite on her feet yet, was yelling back that she couldn’t hear her friend. Eventually she ran out of breath, much to the Manajerk’s happiness.

“I said ‘Are you alright’?!” Vert asked again, louder than she probably needed to.

“What?!” Nep asked again. “Oh, whatever! Let’s get ‘em!” She yelled out, knocked away her friends’ hands, and swooped forward, attempting to slash at her target. Right behind her, Noire followed suit, her sword in hand and trying to yell louder than Nep. The Manajerk simply smirked and parried Nep’s backflip kick and three kicks from midair, before being staggered by a sudden high-speed slash from Noire. Nep then followed this up with two slashes to the man’s head and uppercutting him into the air.

“Good work, Nep!” Noire shouted as she slashed at her target three times, getting him to yell out and ragdoll a bit. Nep followed this up by slashing at him a bit more and knocking him back to the ground, where Noire encircled the opponent at high speed and slashed more times than the girl could count. The man snarled in annoyance as he continued hitting the ground from these attacks.

Nep clenched her fist victoriously. “Yeah!”

“I didn’t need your help, Nep.”

“Yeah, sure. Ready?”

“Yeah.” The two girls readied their weapons, yelled again, and rushed their opponent once more.

The Manajerk rubbed his chin before swinging his kanabo, sending the two girls flying backwards to collide face-first with the ground. The other three gasped as Vert called out “Nep!” and Uzume called out “Noire!” in concern. The Manajerk stood back up and cracked his neck. “Annoying bitches,” he said with a rumbling hiss before beginning to lumber towards them, his studded club in hand.

Nep pulled her head from underneath a mound of dirt. “Wow, that hurt. What’ve they been feeding him?!”

A cackle erupted from nearby, a voice belonging to Skysoar. “Only the finest in genetic manipulation, my dear! Now B-Manajerk is so much more than a man!”

Blanc crossed her arms in disapproval. “’Manajerk’? That’s what you’re calling them?? Really?”

“Exterminate them!!”

B-Manajerk raised his weapon and rushed at them, each step shaking the ground around them much more than a man of his size should have. Acting on instinct, Neptune reached for every single Preset Disk she had and threw them at the advancing soldier, who ignored every single effect they inflicted on him. Ice forming, blasts of fire and wind, growths of rock, they did absolutely nothing to penetrate his golden armor, and did even less to the man’s killer instinct. He reached the girls in a few seconds and smashed them all into the side of a building with a single swing of his weapon.

Uzume could barely see straight. Nep was right. This guy did hit hard, really hard. She felt a large lump on her head as she drunkenly flew her way back to the battlefield ahead of the others. “’Genetic manipulation’, you said?” she asked without even really thinking about why she was asking this.

Skysoar put his hands on his hips dramatically and smirked up at them proudly. “That’s right! He is now no longer human!” He pointed imperatively at Uzume before continuing. “B-Manajerk now has the genetic makeup of the legendary oni! B-Manajerk, a demonstration!!”

The man bellowed like a cow as he transformed before everyone fighting nearby, growing horns and tusks, a third eye in the middle of his forehead, and growing to fifty feet tall. His roars now shook the nearby buildings, breaking some windows along the way, and prepared a small hellstorm of magma breath. “EVERYBODY DUCK!” Neptune yelled as everyone narrowly avoided being scorched. Vert flew as high as she could, Uzume bolted to the left, Noire to the right, and Blanc jumped backwards, narrowly avoiding getting her hat singed. Neptune looked up and noticed what everyone just did. “Guys, why didn’t you duck?!” Everyone replied by yelling “Shut up, Nep!!”

B-Manajerk roared once again into the sky, shaking his head like an enraged bull, and rushed at Blanc, who barely managed to jump out of the way. They all rushed in with everything they had. Neptune tried turning into her jet form and encircling the battlefield, unloading her guns into the large new target. Blanc ran in with her hammer, swinging wildly and causing small ice explosions on the areas of impact. Noire slashed away, jumped into the air screaming, and lunged back down with a fiery slash attack. Vert tried summoning a giant spear and telekinetically hurling it into her target, an attack that he effortlessly blocked with one hand. Uzume ran in and hit everywhere she could, each punch counting for several hits through her powers helping her out. Vert tried again, this time summoning multiple spears. None of these attacks did anything to their opponent, who surprised them by scooping them all up and tossing them into Neptune, laughing all the while.

The girls found themselves in a pile of arms and legs on the ground. Skysoar swooped about laughing at everything going on. “Gwah hah hah! It’s useless!! His golden armor is invulnerable to any damage, and his new physiology makes him resistant to all of your elemental attacks! B-Manajerk! I’m going to check on my other beautiful creations and be right back! Have fun with your new toys!” Neptune and Uzume glanced up at their opponent, who grew larger and larger while roaring all the while.

+++

Not much more than a few hundred yards away, down Third Avenue, the Power Rangers found that they were faced with similar problems. Each of the Rangers was fighting as hard as they could, but the sheer numbers of Jerkops were starting to wear them down. The Red Ranger grunted as he was kneed in the chest before grabbing the leg of the Jerkop who hit him and tossing him over his shoulder. “You never could fight fair, could you, Baggett?!”

The Jerkop in grey and red jumped atop a car and pointed dramatically at his opponent. “Of course not, old friend! Villains and criminals don’t fight fair, and neither should I!”

“How many times- urgh!- do we- hiya!- have- grah!- to tell you?!” The Blue Ranger cried out. “We’re not criminals!”

Baggett stood back up and crossed his arms. “Hmph! Didn’t you hear, Tony? Sanctuary Cities break the law!”

The Yellow Ranger managed to floor four Jerkops in a single twisting motion in midair. “If this city wasn’t- grah!- then I wouldn’t be here, Baggett!”

“I know.”

“This creep!” The Pink Ranger yelled out and attempted a flying roundhouse kick on Baggett, but he was simply too fast and threw her over his shoulder, avoiding the attack completely.

“Silvia!” the Green Ranger called out as he saw his friend tossed aside. “That does it! This creep needs to die!”

“Why’d you give the boy my suit?”

The Rangers didn’t answer. Instead, they pushed back the Jerkops and all gathered together to take a ready stance. The Red Ranger turned his head at the others. “Be careful, everyone! Baggett’s a tough one!”

Baggett held out his hand theatrically. “Allow me to show you one of my new toys, courtesy of Doctor Skysoar!” He held out one of his fingers and pressed it to his temple, causing the Jerkops to all perk up. The Green Ranger looked around at them, clearly uneasy. “Uh, what’re they doing?”

“JERKOP SWARM!!” On command, the Jerkops clumped together, almost as if they were a bunch of humanoid magnets. They continued to group together until they formed around Baggett, lifting him into the air and using their collective bodies to form a dozen very large arms.

The Rangers eyed what was happening apprehensively. “Uh-oh,” The Blue Ranger muttered. “This is bad, guys,” The Pink Ranger chimed in. “Gee, you think?” The Green Ranger replied, attempting to stay tough by being snarky.

“JERKOP PUNCH!!” Baggett yelled as one of the arms, now the size of a tanker truck, slammed into the ground the Rangers were just a second ago. “JERKOP KATA!!” he yelled as he continued the assault, launching punches in a way very similar to how he would’ve fought on his own.

Each Ranger managed to dodge, albeit barely, but The Yellow Ranger caught her leg on one of the punches in midair, spinning about and yelling as she flew into a nearby café. Baggett laughed, now using every voice of the Jerkops to amplify his own. “JERKOP….!!” He yelled as he cupped the hands together into pairs.

The Red Ranger had a pretty bad feeling about what was coming. “Everyone run!” And it was a good thing they did, because Baggett finished preparing his attack by them. “…BALL!!” The fists broke off as large boulders built from men, which chased down the Rangers throughout the streets under their own power. “Split up!” They all did, and the men-boulders all split up as well, one for each remaining Ranger, decimating whatever cars or combatants they came across.

Baggett laughed and hoisted himself up more with his new bodily extensions. “THIS IS YOUR END, RANGERS!!” he called out as he pursued The Red Ranger.

+++

Meanwhile, Silvana and Son-Chu found themselves pushed back Downtown, where they faced off against a mechanical Manajerk the size of Son-Chu himself, the two robots trading blows ferociously. Silvana had since transformed into a European dragon, and was doing everything she could to keep the pressure on. She reared up onto her hind legs and roared at her opponent, before being knocked back and winded from a concussive blast from the cyborg’s palms. The head floating in a jar atop the robot cackled loudly, the bubbles of the preservation fluid audible even from the ground.

Simonla popped out of the ground, flipping over and knocking out several hapless Jerkops, not noticing that they were wandering listlessly down the road. “Hangin’ in there, partner?!” she called up to the panting dragon. Silvana pushed herself up and growled in reply. “’Atta girl, Silvana! Let’s go get ‘em!”

The two girls yelled as they joined the fight with Son-Chu. The robot, which had the letters “W” and “M” on either of its shoulders, glanced down at Simonla before getting knocked around by a particularly nasty right hook from Son-Chu. W-M took a moment to recover, during which his head swirled around, making him dizzy. After everything settled down for him, however, he readjusted his head and chuckled. “I’M DISAPPOINTED, HEROES. I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT MORE FORCES WOULD’VE BEEN DEEMED NECESSARY FOR DR. SKYSOAR’S GREATEST CREATION.”

Simonla continued to rush her opponent. “We’re more than enough to deal with the likes of you!!” She yelled out and drilled the robot’s foot. But to no avail. To her surprise, she didn’t even scratch it. “What in…?” Then she got a better look at it and gasped. “Simitanium!” This was the same material that her own skeleton was made from! Before she could say anything else, W-M twitched his ankle and kicked her away and through several buildings.

Silvana noticed this blow on her friend and roared in anger. She blasted the Manajerk with her fire breath as the Transformer continued to pummel him, but it was no use. The cyborg just continued to laugh as he traded blows with both of his opponents. The titans continued to stomp around the park, kicking up everything they could to try to get the others to lose ground, which didn’t exactly work. W-M eventually started kicking large balls of compressed Jerkops into Son-Chu’s face, getting in a few blows each time he did so. A collection of voices from the distance cried “DAMNIT, W-M, I WAS USING THEM!!” The slurry of Jerkops somehow all managed to stand up and wander over somewhere around the corner. Moments later, as they continued fighting, these titans didn’t even notice that they almost pulverized the Red Ranger, who leapt from building top to building top to try and escape the Jerkop Ball chasing him.

W-M pulled back for a bit and grinned smugly. “THIS IS REALLY THE BEST YOU CAN DO, ISN’T IT? ISN’T THERE SOMEONE THAT CAN HELP YOU OUT, MAKE THIS MORE FUN-?” He was cut off by a building falling on top of him. Son-Chu and Silvana looked over to where the building fell from and saw Simonla whooping and hollering at a small crater where the building used to stand. As the dust began to settle, W-M marched out from under the wreckage, looking more happy than damaged. “OKAY, THAT MIGHT MAKE THIS INTERESTING.”

+++

Blake ducked under another extending punch from his opponent, who continued to bend and contort his arms and legs in seemingly random configurations. All the while, this human combatant continued to yowl a continuous war cry at him, as if he had nothing to lose from going all-out here. The mechanical limbs continued to stretch and bend, creaking and croaking as if made from extendable metal and plastic. Blake ran about, jumped off of the arms and legs as best he could, rolling and ducking as he went. The damage this maniac was doing was insane!

He weaved in closer and closer, trying to find the opening he needed. He rolled along the man’s arm for a moment, propelling himself into the air, and he saw it. The Manajerk noticed this too, but smirked. Blake could hear Angelica call out “Look out, Blake!” before he got smacked out of the air and through two buildings. He yelled out. Everything hurt.

But then Angelica flew in and used her Catholic healing spell, or whatever it was, closing his wounds and easing the pain. “Thanks,” Blake mumbled as he pulled himself from the wall.

“Blake, I think I have a plan-“

“No, you stay back and keep up the healing.”

“But-“

“If that Manajerk gets one good hit on you, you’re down for the count. Don’t try to jump in and help,” he warned as he activated his rocket shoes and rushed at the Manajerk, the one he remembered to be named “Merried Seinor Comic”, or something to that effect. Merried retracted his limbs and held out his hands, readying himself for the impact, and managed to hold Blake back, causing them both to push at the other with all their might as they grappled.

Merried flashed a mischievous, toothy grin. “Always wanted t’crush yer head, Blachu!”

“Don’t call me that!”

“’Cuz if I can, I can do it t’ the yellow one! And maybe move in on your girl. Heh?” Merried licked his lips.

Blake roared as he suddenly relented so he can toss the mechanical man over his shoulder. As the lanky Manajerk pirouetted through the air, however, he used this momentum to slice everything around him in a singular cyclonic motion, barely missing Angelica, who was hovering not too far from the fight. “Angelica, I said stay back!”

“You’re going to need healing, Blake!”

“I’m doing fine- ARGH!” Blake flew back from a sudden blow to the face and felt half his teeth fly from his face, only for them to miraculously reappear. Merried Seinor Comic laughed as he launched himself forward as if his legs were large springs. The two proceeded to wrestle on the ground, kicking up dirt as they did so.

Angelica looked up, startled as a maniacal laugh erupted from not too far from her. It was Skysoar. “Ah,” he called out as he swooped in from around the street corner. “It seems my new and improved Manajerks are exceeding my expectations!”

Angelica narrowed her eyes. “Skysoar…” She coated her wings with a metallic aura and proceeded to divebomb towards him. Underneath her, however, Merried broke away from his scuffle and performed a one-handed handstand. “Not so fast, Missy!” he called out as he shot out his other hand, intercepting her and crushing several of her ribs as she cried out in pain, flying through three office buildings from the impact.

Blake noticed this and froze up. “Angelica!” He hated to think what Punchy would say if he were to find out about this. He overclocked his shoes and rushed over to where she landed and found her lying limply on the street. “Hey, wake up! C’mon!” He shook her, managing to his relief to wake her up.

“Ughhh… Blake… Did you get him?”

“Not yet. I told you to stay back!”

Angelica grimaced and held her side. “I’ll be fine. Just… Just need to heal.”

“You don’t have-“ A loud crash interrupted Blake as Merried stood back upright, having bounded over to them once again for more combat.

+++

Rosechu examined the tunnel the rest of the family found themselves in. If Christine was right about this, then Metal and Sonichu would fly in through the tunnel very soon. Cera backed the last eighteen wheeler into place, completely blocking the road through. “Mom, he can still just fly over, though.”

Christine looked at her mother with deep concern in her eyes. “What’re we doing about that, Mom?”

“I’m throwing that truck into them.”

Both the girls were taken aback by this. “But,” Cera interjected, “won’t that hit Dad too?”

“He’ll be fine. See Robee yet?” The yellow Rosechu appeared beside her, kicking up a small windstorm as she did so. “They’re coming, get ready!”

Rosechu barely had time to jump get into position when the sounds of jet engines cascaded throughout the tunnel. Without even taking the time to think, she forced her arm muscles to bulge a sudden burst of power, easily flipping the truck into the air. However, to their surprise, Metal Sonichu simply punched a hole through the side of the airborne vehicle through sheer momentum, completely ignoring this useless obstacle. The merciless robot landed several yards away and bashed his helpless captive into the side of every vehicle he could as he stomped along.

Robee watched with a tear forming in her eye, noticing the cuts and bruises on her dad’s head. She ran at the robot. “Let go of my Dad!” The robot responded to this sudden attack by taking flight, causing the young hedgehog to miss, and spat a laser from his chest, the tunnel now sliced in half and expelling cars into the air like blood from an artery. The hedgehogs barely managed to jump from car to car and land on the ground in ways that, while still painful, didn’t kill them. They all panted and watched as the robot flew off with Sonichu, who yelled something they couldn’t understand.

Rosechu gingerly stood back up, helping her daughters to do the same. “Any other ideas, kids?”

“You mean you don’t have any more?”

“Um…”

“What if we forced him into the river?”

“He’s too fast for us. We need something else, sis.”

“Oh! How about the crane over at-?” Christine found herself cut off by a loud metallic crackle as they looked up to find the gigantic W-M-Manajerk uprooting the crane to smack Silvana as he held Son-Chu in a headlock. “Oh, no!”

Robee followed the robot with her gaze, trying desperately to think of a plan. Metal Sonichu buzzed around W-M-Manajerk’s head, choking her father until he almost turned blue. She had to act. She thought back to something her father told her about acting on instinct, so she did. She ran up the side of a building, barely even noticing the static electricity building underneath her feet or across her body. She didn’t notice the giants’ struggle narrowly missing her several times as she scaled the side of the building. She didn’t even notice that she almost bowled over the Red Ranger when she reached the top. She simply continued running until the familiar clouds formed underneath her feet. She leveled out and readjusted herself to find the robot, who now held a limp Sonichu and held its clawed hand up to the sky, ready to land the final blow.

“I SAID, LET… GO… OF… MY… DAD!!” She ran at the robot at full force, creating a Sonic Rainboom upon impact and reducing the robot to smithereens. Robee circled around her father, who seemed to be falling in slow motion, until she slowed down enough to actually grab him.

The Sonic Rainboom wreaked havoc on everything around her, the other Chaotic Combo members barely managing to even remain standing. W-M buckled as the ground beneath him crumbled completely, swallowing him into a large sinkhole. The wind kicked up and rainbow-colored flashes emanated throughout the city block. Son-Chu, Silvana, and Simonla looked down the hole, confused. “Y’all think that did it?” Simonla asked her comrades.

Robee finally caught her dad and came to a halt once she reached the ground at a much more manageable speed. The rest of the family rushed over, ecstatic that Sonichu was still alive.

“Sonichu, darling, wake up!” Rosechu shook her husband, worry still etched in her face.

Sonichu coughed and opened his eyes, his vision very blurry. “What happened?” he murmured, his voice scratchy and weak.

“It was incredible, Dad!” Cera interjected. “Roberta here ran up that building, caught some clouds to run on like that one time, and then rushed at Metal Sonichu fast enough to create a Sonic Rainboom!”

Sonichu coughed again as he wobbled his way up to his feet. “You’re getting better at those, sport.” He chuckled. “You might even be close to getting faster than me.”

“What? Dad, c’mon-“

“Where are the others? We need to help them.”

“Sonichu, dear, you can’t help anyone right now.”

“I’ll be fine,” he murmured as he stumbled forward. “Just need to find Angelica, and I’ll be zappin’…”

+++

Baggett covered his face as the rainbow energy flew by. He didn’t know what that was, but he saw it knock W-M down into a sinkhole. Whatever it was, it was some strong stuff. He had to make sure to avoid whoever did that. A noise from over his shoulder brought him out of his thoughts, and to his surprise it was the Rangers, including The Yellow Ranger, who Baggett noticed was unsteady on her right leg. He smiled at this. “SO YOU’VE ALL MANAGED TO SURVIVE MY JERKOP BALLS!! BRAVO, RANGERS!! BUT YOU WON’T BE LIVING THROUGH THIS!! JERKOP….!!”

The Rangers stood ready as the nearby Jerkops, which now numbered into the thousands, rushed with unnatural speed to gather around their foe, who continued to grow in front of them. “Oh, no!” the Green Ranger cried out. “At this rate, even the Zords won’t be big enough to fight that!” The Blue Ranger yelled out.

Baggett laughed a thunderous laugh, now taking on a semi-serpentine appearance and dwarfing the buildings around them. “THE ONLY GOOD SANCTUARY CITY IS A LEVELLED SANCTUARY CITY!! TIME FOR A GOOD STOMPIN’!!” He glanced over a few city blocks at B-Manajerk, who was still fighting evenly with the Gamindustri Goddesses. “DON’T WORRY, B!! I’LL BE THERE TO GIVE YOU A HAND IN JUST A MINUTE!!” He ignored the Purple Goddess, he was pretty sure she was called Neptune, who yelled out “Hold on, what!!?” Instead of answering, Baggett uprooted a skyscraper and attempted to squish the Rangers with it.

The Rangers tried to run, but couldn’t make it in time. They held their heads in a vain attempt to cover their heads, but quickly realized that the building hadn’t hit them quite yet. Red Ranger looked up and noticed that the pink Transformer, Excelina, was barely holding the building back, despite the intense strain on her robotic face and how much her arms and legs were shaking from the effort. There was no time. “Keep going, everybody!” Red Ranger called out as he rushed the rest of the way.

The Rangers barely managed to get away from the impact site before it came crashing down, Excelina’s hand reaching to the sky from underneath the building. Green Ranger shook his head. “We have to stop him before he destroys the whole city!”

“It’s Zord time, everyone!” The Rangers took their positions and summoned their Zords, five thirty-foot humanoid robots in different colors. The Yellow Ranger struck a pose and called out “Huang-di!” before jumping up high and materializing inside the yellow-colored robot. The Red Ranger struck a pose and called out “Chidi!” before jumping up high and materializing inside the red-colored robot. The Blue Ranger struck a pose and called out “Cangdi!” before jumping up high and materializing inside the blue-colored robot. The Green Ranger struck a pose and called out “Baidi!” before jumping up high and materializing inside the green-colored robot. And finally, The Pink Ranger struck a pose before calling out “Heidi!” before jumping up high and materializing inside the pink-colored robot.

The Rangers all landed snugly in their cockpits before the Yellow Ranger opened up a communication link between the Zords. “Time to come together, everyone!” In sync, the Rangers all crossed their arms and yelled out “Emperor Megazord!” The robots jumped into the air, transforming in different ways all the while, before they all conjoined into one larger Megazord big enough to wield a skyscraper like a polearm.

Baggett turned towards this new opponent and smiled to himself. They’re finally a challenge. The Megazord unsheathed a large sword and rushed at its opponent, who responded to each slash with an outstretched clawed hand deftly catching it before it landed. After thirty seconds of close combat, the monstrous Jerkop grew a tail and jabbed the Megazord before tossing it away and laughing. The Rangers yelled out before they managed to right themselves. The Green Ranger punched the stabilization button before turning to the Red Ranger. “Man, he’s going to be tough!”

“He was our best before he turned evil. We have to give it everything we’ve got. Ready guys?”

The other Rangers turned to him and nodded as one. “Ready!”

“Alright! Celestial Dragon Tooth!” The Megazord’s arm transformed into a giant drill as they rushed the target. With a great crash, they slashed through the Jerkop’s abdomen, nearly ripping him in two. Baggett roared and clutched his side before yelling out angrily and closing the wound as more and more Jerkops joined the conglomerate being, leaving the citizen fighters to look on in awe.

“That didn’t finish him off?!”

“HA-HA-HA-HA!! DOCTOR SKYSOAR, YOU’VE OUTDONE YOURSELF THIS TIME!! HOW DO YOU LIKE SOME OF THIS?!” Just by raising his hands, Baggett created tentacles from the ground large enough to completely encircle the Megazord from many more surrounding Jerkops, preparing to demolish his former comrades.

+++

Still in her dragon form, Silvana looked down at Simonla. I don’t see anything down there, do you?

“Not a lick ‘a movement.” She looked up at Silvana and smiled. “Looks like we won!” She then turned and screamed as a small forest of metal tentacles erupted from the hole. Simonla narrowly avoided getting grabbed by the top of her head, and Silvana managed to keep four of them at bay with her fire breath, but Son-Chu wasn’t so lucky, and yelled out in a metallic scream as close to eighty clawed tentacles latched onto his body, effectively holding him in place.

A moment of struggle later, and the source of these new threats became obvious. W-M’s head slowly lifted from the hole, revealing a levitation device at the base as all of the metal tentacles protruded from a large ring on the bottom. As the disembodied head smiled smugly, several tentacles morphed into buzz saws, lasers, and three-pronged hooks. “DID YOU THINK IT’D BE THAT EASY?” He glanced down, the expression on his face suggesting everything he was doing was casual, and fired eight unbroken laser beams at Simonla.

Simonla narrowly dodged the lasers as if playing Limbo, and yelled out “Shit!” as one of them took off a tuft of her hair. “Just had that done!”

Silvana roared at the Manajerk, but soon roared from pain as he jabbed the dragon several times with spiked tentacles. This was not going well. If Chris can just get through to Graduon…

+++

Bubbles fired off Water Pulse after Water Pulse simply by pointing at her opponent, the heavily-armored Jerkhief, making a show of the effort on her part being virtually nonexistent. She intercepted each of his missiles, knocking them off-course and causing them to explode harmlessly. Beside her, Wild continued throwing Razor Leafs at him, hitting soft spots at his joints. “Where’d Punchy go?” Wild asked out loud. Bubbles didn’t answer, instead opting to blast the Jerkop in the face with some water.

The large man yelled out angrily and looked around. “Damnit, where’s my backup?! You took them, didn’t you, Baggett?!”

“Still have the chance to give up, Jerkhief!” Bubbles offered.

The man growled as his suit powered up, enabling him to rush at the Rosechu. “NEVER!” Before Bubbles could react, she was caught, and the angry Jerkop tossed her into a fifth-story window.

“Bubbles!” Wild called. “Punchy, where are you, man?!”

Jerkhief reached over for Wild now, but suddenly his arm was batted away by a red blur before he got hit in the chest and knocked into a post office. “Okay, I think I have an idea!” Punchy said to announce his presence. “Bubbles! You okay?!”

“Yeah!” she replied, even though Punchy couldn’t see her.

“Great! Wild, you see those traffic lights?”

Wild looked over where he was talking about and saw them, and then he understood. “Got it! How we doin’ this?”

The Jerkhief tore the walls around him apart as he angrily got back to his feet and rushed at the two hedgehogs. “I’M GONNA STUFF YOU ALL UP MY BUTT!!” He seemed like he was going to say something else, but a geyser of water erupted from the manhole underneath him, kicking him up into the air. Wild then quickly followed this up by wrapping his arms in vines and suspending him from the traffic lights. Punchy then finished the plan by lunging at the Jerkop and smashing the metal suit to pieces.

Bubbles jumped down from the window and slowed her fall with a smaller water geyser. “We did it!”

Punchy chuckled. “Nothin’ to it, huh? Let’s find the others.“

+++

Blake picked up the injured Angelica without even thinking. “How dare you injure a woman!”

Merried shrugged, clearly bemused. “War. Time to die, bitches!” He pulled back his arm and swung it at Blake’s face. But Blake was through with his bullshit. He caught the arm mid-flight and tore it straight off the man’s shoulder with one movement.

“Angelica, heal yourself. I’ll deal with him.” Without even waiting for an answer, Blake rushed at the Manajerk, a new fire burning in his eyes, and before the man could yell out in protest, he’d torn off the man’s other arm and both his legs.

Merried knocked his chin on the ground before managing to right himself. “Sunovabitch!” He hopped as he turned to Blake and attempted to bite his ankle. “I’m not done with you!”

Angelica finished her quick healing and nodded at Blake. “Well, that was quick.”

Blake just grunted and turned away. He wanted to find out how Bubbles was doing.

Angelica looked down at the Manajerk and noticed his eyes glowing blue. “Blake!” Blake looked down and noticed this too, before both jumped back. Blake suddenly grimaced as a quarter hit him squarely in the back of the head. “What the?”

+++

Punchy turned to walk away from the fight scene, but then the pieces of the mechanical suit began rattling, as did the nearby cars and every other metallic debris in the area, before they all began to float and whiz around at random. Before any of them could really process what was happening, a nearby car rammed into all of them, knocking the wind out of them.

+++

Blake and Angelica turned and noticed the maelstrom of metal closing in and ran without a second thought. They watched in amazement as Merried Seinor Comic not only grew back his limbs from the debris, but managed to encase himself in a shell of junk that towered over them. He laughed, the sound like that of scraping metal, and launched another punch at them.

Blake somehow managed to catch the fist on instinct, and did everything he could to hold it back. Angelica flew up and tried to hit the new monster with a Steel Wing, but soon found herself stuck to his shoulder, so she had to stop the attack.

Blake yelled out from the effort of holding back the Manajerk. “ANY IDEAS?”

Angelica thought for a second before replying. “Yeah! Keep holding him there!” She flew up to the monster’s face and began a prayer that she was taught as a Rosee. She didn’t think she’d ever have to use it, but if she was ever going to, then now was the time. She prayed to God and Jesus for them to use their power to vanquish this opponent, to lend them the strength to win. As soon as she muttered the last “Amen!” Merried groaned as if heavily weakened.

Blake’s eyes widened in amazement. “That did it, Angelica!” He gave another heave and just as before managed to tear the arm from his opponent. He then proceeded to swing it around and hit Merried in the face with his own hand. He then tossed it aside and leapt into the air, performing a Spin Dash and cutting right through the monster’s chest. Blake stood up and crossed his arms as the exoskeleton fell apart behind him. “Hm. Let’s find the others.”

+++

Neptune yelled out, very frustrated, as she peppered the target with laser fire, of course doing no damage. Of course! The giant ogre of a man laughed and lunged at her, propelled forward by his jetpack, and smashed her yet again with his weapon. Neptune flew backwards in a heap next to the others. “OW!! This is stupid!”

“Anyone have any ideas?” Blanc asked nobody in particular.

“I’ve got one,” Noire chimed in suddenly. “Everyone know how concussions work?”

“Intimately,” Neptune fumed, rubbing her head and finding the eighth lump.

“Follow my lead!” Noire then began her transformation into Next Black, the others all following suit with their respective forms. “Hit him so that he bruises on the inside!”

The girls all roared as they rushed forward. B-Manajerk swung once again at Noire, who managed to zip through his guard and land a nasty slash that erupted with lightning. The man crumpled from this, but not much more than that before Neptune slashed at him herself and gauged the fabric of reality from her strike. Vert then summoned an uncountable amount of spears and pelted him incessantly with a rain of blades. Blanc then finished the combo by firing a freezing shockwave at B-Manajerk, summoning a large laser cannon, and torching him with it.

The girls all landed several feet away as a group and reverted back to their civilian clothing, panting as they eyed the monster cautiously. Uzume prepared her megaphone just in case. The monster groaned, roared in pain, stumbled forward, clenching his kanabo, and inched forward. After three small steps, his breathing heavy, he fell forward, belching a black darkness from his mouth before closing his eyes and hitting the ground.

Neptune couldn’t even celebrate properly. Her arms were heavy, and her head hurt. She panted heavily and managed to shout “Yeah!... Take that…. You… Monster!”

“The day’s saved now, right?” Vert asked as they turned to look at the city. They noticed Baggett and W-M’s tentacles and groaned.

“You’re kidding me! We have to take out more of these guys?!”

“Not me, I’m clocking out.” Blanc threw down her weapon in the middle of the road and began to walk away.

Uzume began looking around. She couldn’t stop now, not when she promised Chris that she’d help.

+++

Naitsirhc landed yet another kick across Chris’ face, knocking her backwards once more. She couldn’t see straight, her eyes have swollen over. Things shouldn’t be ending this way. Magi-Chan, Night Star, and Discord continued their struggle with Graduon, who had since taken a knee to better steady himself against this assault. “My, my,” Discord commented, seemingly disinterested. “You’re a tought nut to crack, aren’t you?!” Night Star and Magi-Chan just continued grunting from the effort of continuing their assault, and Graduon was likewise doing everything he could to hold their attacks back.

“Graduon, you can’t do this!” Chris began.

“I’ll defeat you or die trying, Chandler!”

“No, it’s not that, listen!” She yelled out as Naitsirhc slammed her head into the ground. When he pulled her face from the asphalt once again, she continued. “If you keep following this path, then Kurome will just destroy everything!” Graduon wasn’t listening; he was too preoccupied with his fight. Chris then had an idea. “Guys, stop fighting him!”

Night Star glanced over in confusion. “What?”

“Just do it!” Magi-Chan answered, and the three let down their guard in a way that allowed the beam to fire harmlessly into the sky.

Graduon and Naitsirhc were dumbfounded. Graduon turned on her with a new expression. “What is the meaning of this?”

“I’m telling the truth! Kurome doesn’t want to conquer the world like you, Graduon, she wants it destroyed! She told Blanc this when she tried to destroy her region of Gamindustri.” Graduon stayed silent, so Chris continued. “If you want to conquer the rest of the world, then fine. But help us stop her first. You can’t rule over something that isn’t there.”

Graduon continued to avoid Chris’ gaze, thinking over this new information. Finally, he returned Chris’ gaze and nodded. Chris smiled, but felt something encroach in the back of her mind. “You useless fool,” she muttered in a voice not her own, and she began to yell out in pain as her body contorted and began to levitate. Naitsirhc jumped back in shock. “What the hell?!”

Chris continued to yell, a dark energy emanating from her body. This energy danced about like a flame and began expanding, firing off flares across the city and drawing the attention of all. Uzume gasped as she saw this, clenched her fist and ran at Chris, holding out her hand and creating a bubble of energy around her before jumping in herself. Inside the bubble was another dimension, made entirely from Share Energy and created by her own power. While Chris and Kurome were inside this, then the rest of the world was safe.

The energy continued to surround Chris, beginning to morph her appearance into a dark version of Uzume herself. Behind Chris the energy began to grow a face of some kind. Uzume knew what she had to do. She held out her hand imperatively. “Kurome, you’re coming with me!”

Chris began to contort again, this time the new voice screaming out in protest. “NOOO!!” Uzume continued to absorb her evil half, not even paying any attention as the right side of her face began to scream too. She concentrated hard, and after ten seconds of supreme effort, everything was silent. Chris lay on the ground, not moving for a few seconds, before coughing, groaning, and slowly lifting herself up.

“Uzume…? What-?”

“Kurome tried to take over your body, Chris. But don’t worry. She’s taken care of now. She’s now a part of me, and she won’t be a problem anymore.”

“You’re a lifesaver, Uzume.”

Uzume giggled. There’s something I need, though. Chris, I’m afraid I need to take my powers back.”

“Yeah, no problem.” Without another word, Chris extended her arms in offering as a softer orange energy glowed from her heart and into Uzume. “Let’s get out of here.”

The two girls exited the pocket dimension, which faded behind them. Both sides had stopped fighting and were watching them. Chris turned to Graduon and smiled. “We don’t have to stay enemies, Graduon. For your whole life, you’ve never known love. How about you stay with us, and we show you?”

Naitsirhc shook his head. “How lame would we be-?”

“Very well,” Graduon boomed. “Henceforth, the PVCC forces and the city of CWCville are now allies!”

Everyone from the CWCville side cheered. Uzume hugged Chris. “We did it!”

“We sure did!”

“But, Chris. We have to go back to Gamindustri now. We’ve got a lot of rebuilding to do. Oh! I have an idea.” Uzume reached into her pocket and handed Chris a holographic card. “If you ever need our help, let us know, okay?”

“Thanks for everything.”

Uzume then smiled and waved as she turned to leave with the other Goddesses. A man in armor and a military-grade gas mask approached Chris with several magical girls behind him. “Good work, Chandler,” the man began in an electronically-augmented voice. He looked around at the heavily damaged city. “Well, you’ve managed to minimize damage, at least.”

“It was a war hard-fought, John. But now we’ve got new friends,” Chris explained as she looked around at people from both sides of the war helping each other tend to their wounded.

John looked around, his expression understandably unreadable. “Mazel tov,” he said finally. “There are still some cloaker agents that Kurome had set up, so we’ll need to deal with those.”

“Perhaps I could be of some assistance, Mr. Yamada,” Graduon interjected from over Chris’ shoulder.

“That’d be great,” Yamada replied, almost as if distracted. “But I need to bring something… else to your attention…”

[monster-mum]

Like Mother, Like Daughter

When I was little I was awesome. Well, I thought so. I was funny, quick witted, independent and strong-willed, a fantastic array of qualities for any young woman to have. I knew my own mind and rarely changed it once a decision had been reached and on the odd occasion I was known to have a bit of a temper but from my perspective it was very rarely and not that bad…sort of. To my parents and brother, I was a stubborn, temperamental, cheeky, rude pain in the arse who had no tact and would say things that people didn’t want to hear or have repeated, like those conversations we grown-ups have that we think the kids aren’t listening to, but they are. If you haven’t experienced that yet then wait, it’s hilarious…when it’s not happening to you. It’s funny how different people’s perceptions can be of the same situation. As I have reached the wise old age of 25 (Yes, I am going to stick with that) I have mellowed a bit. I have got slightly better at not verbalising every single thought that comes into my head; my temper isn’t as bad, and I am super amazing at keeping things to myself. When our biggest monster, Steven, came into our world we were presented with a chubby little thing who looked like Michelin Man Jr. He was an angel baby. He ate, he slept, he played, he was a happy contented wee thing. We knew at the time, even being first time parents, that he was an easy baby. We knew that other babies were much harder work, we knew it was unlikely that any consecutive children we went on to have would be the same way. As Lyla Rose screamed her way into the world we knew one thing for certain, she was going to be a completely different kettle of fish.

 People have been asking me to write a blog about Lyla for a few weeks now and I completely understand why. For those of you who have never met Lyla she is fit to burst with personality. When people ask me about our blonde-haired girl it usually starts with “Aw look at her, she’s beautiful. Look at her beautiful curly hair and such pretty eyes. Isn’t she sweet.” All of these things are true and in Lyla’s four and a half years of receiving compliment after compliment it is safe to say that she has a VERY healthy opinion of herself. Not just in appearance but in every possible way. This is wonderful and not so wonderful at the same time. Lyla’s self-professed amazingness means that not only does she always look amazing (according to Lyla) but she is never wrong, never needs to apologise and is the most important person in every possible situation. So, you can imagine how much fun it is parenting a child who knows everything and refuses to admit when she’s wrong is.

 Set scene: Chris and I are in the kitchen with Lyla and Lachlan. Lyla is looking at our extensive fridge magnet collection.

 Lyla: “Mummy I made this one.”

 She holds up a Mickey Mouse magnet that has the Disney World logo on the back and is clearly not made by a four-year-old.

 Me: “Lyla, Nana and Granda brought that back from Disney World for us last year.”

 Lyla: “No they didn’t. I made it.”

 I take a deep breath. When dealing with Lyla, and from what I have been told most four-year-old girls, it is important to stay calm. You must see them as a predator looking for your weak spot so they can go in for the kill. Anyone who has spent much time with these little evil geniuses will understand. You cannot be seen as weak.

 Me: “Lyla, it is from Disney World, see there is a Donald Duck one, a Minnie Mouse one and a Goofy one too. “

 Lyla thinks for a minute.

 Lyla: “Minnie should be next to Mickey.”

 Me: “Because they love each other?”

 Lyla: “Yeh…okay.”

 I move the magnets next to each other.

 Lyla: “No! Not there Mummy.”

 She says this in an exasperated tone as if I am a total moron and have missed something completely obvious. I choose to ignore the tone because with Lyla you reeeeeally need to pick your battles wisely and this magnet situation was showing all the danger signs of progressing into an argument.

 Me: “Is that okay?”

 Lyla: “Yes, that’s fine.” She turns her head and looks at me “Well done Mummy.”

 There’s nothing quite so satisfying as a parent than being patronised by your child. I smile at my sweet, sharp tongued middle monster pleased that it didn’t escalate. Congratulating myself on calming a potentially hostile situation and not John McClane-ing it I head over to carry on making breakfast when…

 Lyla: “Mummy, who’s this picture of a baby?”

 Me: “That’s baby Molly.”

 Lyla: “No it’s not.”

 Me: “Yes it is.”

 Lyla: “No it’s not. It’s me.”

 Of course it is. I thought I was safe, that I had avoided this. I know now where I went wrong, as soon as she said about the magnets I should have rugby tackled her out of the room while screaming “NOOOOOOO!” Then disposed of her in some kind of cuddly toy unicorn pile with Rapunzel on replay and a fairy hanging from the ceiling exploding rainbow glitter out of her rear end. I was too comfortable, too cocky, I thought I could outwit her, I was wrong…again. Yes again. This happens regularly when dealing with our innocent Lyla Rose. Not just to me, Chris and Steven; but to a lot of adults that have contact with her. Just like a Velociraptor, but with more fingers and much better hair, she is the ultimate predator. Beautiful, charismatic, clever and quick to the jugular when you least expect it. Now I know some of you will be thinking that this is an over-reaction, but just you wait.

 Me: “Lyla, that is Molly. She is a couple of days younger than Lachlan.”

 Lyla: “No she’s not because it’s me and I am four.”

 Are all you doubters beginning to see?

 Me: “It’s not you, it is Molly.”

 Lyla is getting frustrated with me now and the signs are starting to show that she’s getting impatient with her somewhat slow Mother.

 Lyla scrutinises the photo that is quite obviously not a baby Lyla.

 Lyla: “It is me! I had that funny sticky up hair!”

 Me: “Lyla. It is not you. You were bald when you were that little and the baby in that picture has dark hair and yours is blonde. You met Molly remember?”

 Lyla looks at me amazed and answers surprisingly with…

 Lyla: “No I didn’t”

 Yaaaay parenting! It’s so much fun! Urgh!

 Me: “Yes you did. When you came to the hospital to see me and Lachlan we walked down to the big ward and met Molly with her Mummy.”

 I can see from the look on her face that she does remember this and she realises that the photo on the fridge is indeed Molly. So, like any sensible person she admits she is wrong and apologises and we all laugh together and will forever joke about the time Lyla mistook Molly for herself.

 Lyla: “No I didn’t! That is me as a baby and you are wrong!”

 Or maybe not.

 By this time, I have decided that I really cannot be bothered to argue about this anymore. I have much for pressing issues that need immediate attention, like eating my breakfast, not arguing with Lyla about the fridge baby and watching Skin Wars. I decide to end the conversation with…

 Me: “Fine Lyla, the baby on the fridge is you.”

 She’s pretty chuffed with herself and generously gives me a patronisingly sympathetic look - her slow Mum. Sometimes being the parent means taking the high road and just knowing when to quit. To just stand back and say “Is the outcome of this really worth the hassle?” In this case I felt it wasn’t. So what if Lyla has decided that the photo of Molly is her. No harm, no foul. I feel proud of myself and mentally pat myself on the back for being the grown up for a change then…

 Chris: “Lyla, that is not you. That is Molly.”

 Chris obviously did not feel the same way. We need to work on our parenting telepathy. I take a deep sigh, chuckle to myself about the oncoming onslaught that Chris is about to get from Lyla.

 Lyla: “Okay Daddy. I thought it was me, I am silly my Daddy.”

  I nearly choke on my porridge and try not to spit it everywhere! Are you kidding me! I glare at the mini me whose face is gleaming as she smiles adoringly at her hero, her Daddy. I am just about to attempt exploding her head, and Chris’ just for the sheer fun of it, hoping that it’ll be successful this time, when a few memories play like an old movie in my mind. I see me at Lyla’s age looking like Lyla’s twin and behaving in exactly the same way with my parents. I have always been a Daddy’s girl. Me and my Dad share many similar personality traits, like how hilarious we find ourselves, that we are fine and it’s everyone else that’s a problem and even our ability to be right even when we are wrong, we have always had our own unique relationship. I pull back my exploding heads attempt (which I felt sure was going to work this time) and look at the adoration on Lyla’s face as she looks at her Daddy. I love how much she loves him. They say children learn about relationships and how to treat others by watching their parents; and Steven, Lyla and Lachlan are learning a lot of different things from watching me and Chris. For one thing they are learning from me that sarcasm isn’t just for the home, it’s for everywhere and for everyone to enjoy. For another, they see that Daddy needs a lot of motivational reminding (Yes, that is what I am calling it) from Mummy to do stuff, but one of the main things they are learning from Chris is how to be a caring, considerate, patient person - and man is he patient. If our three’s future relationships are based on what they see in mine and Chris’ then they are going to be very happy in life and surrounded by wonderful people. In those annoying moments when Lyla has been arguing that black is white for the sheer fun of it, it is funny, and frustrating, for me seeing how much alike we are and then to see the love and respect she has for her amazing Daddy. She is one lucky girl to have not just one super amazing parent but two.