#I feel like I've never written anything before

[the-screams-of-the-damned]

Noises In The Night

Posting for the @6esiree writing contest, written for a whole work on wattpad. In this story, the reader is Alastor's assistant at the radio station and a close family friend. Alastor has agreed to help you clear out your father's cabin about a year after his mysterious murder.

Warnings: Alastor is kind of a perv, slight somnophilia, questionable intentions, innocent reader, mentions of murder, no real penetration (sorry)

Promises: obsessive Alastor, human Alastor, cunnilingus, fingering, hair pulling

"I'll sleep on the couch," Alastor declared as he took the empty bowl from in front of you.

"Are you sure? I don't mind," you protest. You stood, pushing in your chair.

"Oh, don't worry about it. I've slept on the couch before," he assures you. He places a large hand on your shoulder, smile glistening in the lamp light.

You nod. "Okay."

He moves over to the couch, digging through his bag to find his pajamas. Yours are at the top of your bag. A cream colored nightgown with lace at the top and around the hem. You'd never admit that you'd packed it just for Alastor to see.

"Would you like me to step outside while you change?" He offers.

It hadn't even occurred to you that you'd be changing in the same room with him. You were positively pink at the thought. You could feel your insides stir at the image of him watching you change. A purely sinful thought.

"No!" Too quick of a response, far too quick. "I mean - I don't mind being in the same room. Do you?" You never met his eyes. A sorry attempt to hide what was happening in your mind.

"I don't.

Alastor tried to be a gentleman. He really did. He turned to face away from you as he undid the buttons on his shirt, trying to think of anything but you. He just couldn't help himself. The image of you was too tempting. He praised anything listening that you were turned away when he looked over his shoulder. Oh, how perfect you looked. He bit the inside of his lip as your skirt slipped down your legs. With all the subtlety he could muster, he began to memorize the details of your rear and legs that were now exposed to him. He pulled his pajama shirt over his shoulders and was forced to look away to button it. As he unbuttoned his trousers, he cursed himself for being such a pervert.

Your body itself didn't excite him quite enough. No, his own thoughts had created the erection that tried desperately to spring free. The thought of you giving yourself to him was what did it. The image of you laying down on your back, legs open and welcoming for him. The ways he could please you. Would you let him? Would you let him know you in the most intimate ways? Would you do that for him? And if you knew about his more unconventional hobbies? Would you do it then? Would you let him stain your heavenly wings red with his sins?

He pulled his pajama bottoms up, quickly buttoning them. He turned just enough to see you. Had he turned a moment later, he would have missed the sight of your cotton nightgown falling over your features.

"Are you finished?" You asked, trying to calm your own racing heart. You didn't want to ask. You wanted to wheel around without warning and catch a glimpse of him half naked. Perhaps he would be flustered. Perfect skin dyed red by embarrassment at being caught. Perhaps he'd like it. Perhaps he'd laugh at how forward you were and take you right then and there.

"Yes, you can turn around," he answered. You shook yourself from your thoughts, ignoring the stickiness in your panties. You turned to him, seeing him sit down on the couch. "Are you ready for bed?"

You nod, sitting on the edge of the bed. He leans over, turning out the lamp on the coffee table. The room settles into darkness, and your eyes adjust to see his silhouette.

"Goodnight, Alastor."

"Goodnight, my dearest."

Alastor didn't sleep. In fact, he didn't even bother to take his glasses off. Instead, he listened to the rhythm of your breathing. He waited, eyes adjusting to the dark until it was almost like daylight to him. After maybe half an hour, he heard your breath slip into the slow and even rhythm of sleep.

He stood, walking over to your bed. He'd become skilled at sneaking around, holding himself so that his footsteps were nearly silent. He stared down at you, admiring the way the moonlight bounced off of your skin.

Slowly and cautiously, he reached out a hand. He let the pads of his fingers drag across your cheek, down to your lips. They were parted only a little. His fingers traced the outline of your jaw, neck, and collarbone. You were so trusting to sleep in the same room as him. So very trusting. Your trust went straight to his cock, sitting heavy against his leg. His hand moved almost on muscle memory from the center of your collar bone upwards. His palm was flat against the column of your throat, thumb, and fingers on either side.

He pulled his hand away, not trusting it to obey him. He placed it on your shoulder. The thin straps of your nightgown left it uncovered, and he was finally able to feel your skin under his fingers. He trailed his fingers down your side, keeping his hands over your blanket for fear of what they might do if he let them under. He stopped as he felt the soft tissue of your breast.

You stirred in your sleep, rolling onto your back and starting Alastor. In his shock, his stealth left abandoned him. His heel hit a creaky floorboard as he jumped to tear his hand away from you, and your eyes flew open.

He shook himself from his panic. You hadn't seen him touch you. He could play it off.

"Alastor?" You rubbed your eye and began to sit up.

"I'm sorry, dear. Did I wake you? I thought I heard a noise and came to investigate," he told you.

"Oh. I think I'm just a bit jumpy," you claimed. You looked up at him, face shrouded in shadow as the light hit his back. "Being out in the woods like this can be a bit scary."

He nods. "I understand."

You sat up fully, rubbing the skin on your arm. "Esspecially since, y'know, people have been going missing recently." It was then that Alastor sat down on the bed, allowing you to see the gentle yet unreadable expression on his face.

"I promise that you're very safe. I wouldn't let a single soul in the world lay a finger on you," he assures.

"Really? You'd protect me?" You leaned closer to him.

"Of course! I'd wrestle gators if it meant you were kept safe," he promises. Something deep in your chest wanted more than that. You weren't sure what. However, his words presented you an opportunity.

"Would you sleep with me? Just for tonight?" You gave him your best puppy dog eyes as you asked.

You heard him swallow before answering. Had you been too bold? "Would you feel safer that way?" You gave him an eager nod. There it was. That blind trust turned him ravenous. "Then, of course, I will."

You pull aside the blanket, wiggling closer to the wall. He slides in beside you, adjusting himself while his back is turned so that you can't feel his arousal. It's a bit of a tight squeeze, which provides an excellent excuse to burry your face in his neck. You feel a soft chuckle reverberate in his chest.

"Would you like to cuddle?" His voice is a whisper, met with a nod. He snakes an arm under you and around your back, bringing his hand to rest on your hip. You wrap your arms around his torso, smiling like a schoolgirl. The stiring in your gut returns, and you make a brash decision.

You lift your leg over his hip and relish the way his breath hitches. Your nightgown rides up towards your hips. He brings his hand to your leg, pulling you closer by the plush of your thigh. He couldn't stop himself from squeezing a little harder, making you wiggle in his hold. Then you felt it, the unmistakable hardness of a man's erection. It made your heart jump. Of course, you wouldn't have sex with him. You'd been resolute to save yourself for marriage. But no sex didn't mean no intimacy.

"Alastor." His body tensed at the sound of your voice.

"Yes, my dear?" His voice was breathy and deep.

"Have you ever done these sorts of things before?"

He let out a deep breath before answering. "Yes, I have. I suppose you haven't?" You shake your head against his neck. He leans away from you, bringing his hand from your thigh to your cheek. Your eyes meet his, only inches away from each other."We won't do anything you don't want or that you're not ready for, okay? We could stop here, and I would be just fine with that."

"Okay." You nodded and smiled as his hand wandered just below your jaw. You pushed forward just enough to brush your lips against his.

Alastor's fingers curled under your chin, pulling your face close to his again. He captured your lips properly this time. It started soft and gentle, pulling away for quick breaths as he tightened his fingers around your hip. His tongue pressed against your bottom lip, and you opened just enough for it to slip past your teeth and run along your own. His hand made its way to your hair, trying to close an imaginary distance. You let him explore your mouth, occasionally running your tongue along his and enjoying the taste.

You let your hand wander, running over the collar of his sleep shirt. Your fingers came to the top button, fiddling with it in an anxious manner. He finally pulled his mouth away from yours, using his thumb to catch the trail of saliva that connected your lips.

"Dearest -" his voice came between pants and was whispered for only your ears. "Tell me what you want," he commanded. "I'll provide, my dear. All you have to do is ask me." His hand came to grip yours, bringing it to his lips to kiss your knuckles. 

Your mind struggles to put words to your desires. You have to close your eyes to say it. "Will you take your shirt off, please?" It came out a bit too formal for the situation, but Alastor was more than happy to oblige.

"Good girl." He took his hands away from you, making you whine softly against your will. You scooted back and watched as he sat up, hands making quick work of the buttons. With each button, the front slipped open more, exposing his chest and stomach in slow succession. The pale light caught the contours of his torso perfectly. He was lean with only the slightest outline of muscles. He was unsurprisingly well groomed, light hair over his chest and trailing down to his undercarriage.

As his sleeves slipped past his elbows, you reached a hand towards his chest. "May I?" You looked up at him, trying not to be embarrassed by how pathetically whorish you must seem.

"Of course, my dear. Come here." He patted his lap. You adjusted yourselves, letting him rest his back against the headboard as you straddled his lap.

You steadied yourself with a hand against his chest, nearly melting at the sensation. His skin was soft and warm under your fingers. You could feel the rapid beating of his heart underneath. He said he'd give you anything. Would he let you take his heartbeat? Would he give his life to you if you asked? Would he give you someone else's?

Alastor placed his hands on your hips, squeezing hard on either side. He pulled you flush against him, pressing your forehead to his. "Do you want to go further?" His breath ghosted over your lips, making your own get caught for a moment.

You had to think. How far did you want to go? You hadn't thought this far ahead. "Could you lead?" The request came out more like a whimper.

"Yes, I can. But you must promise me that you'll stop me if it becomes too much," he explains.

"I promise." You lean back and hold out your pinky finger. He laughs a bit before linking his with it.

Alastor places his hands on either side of your face, pulling you into another kiss. This one is more aggressive. His tongue seems to force its way between your lips as he pushes you further into him.

You bring your hands around his back, running your fingers along his spine and muscles. His tongue rubs against the roof of your mouth, causing a tickling sensation. His hands are warm, slight calluses along his palms. He brought them to your shoulders and then down your sides. He stops one hand at your waist, allowing the other to head down to your upper thigh. He pushes you down onto his lap fully, allowing you to feel his hard cock against your growing heat. His hand slowly moves to the hem of your nightgown, fiddling with the delicate lace.

He moves his lips from yours, pressing them against your cheek as he whispers. "Can I remove this?" You give him a mod without thinking. "I need words, my dear."

"Yes, sir." You hadn't meant to call him 'sir', but it felt natural. And you couldn't miss the way his cock twitched when you said it.

He brought his fingers to either side of you, gently pulling it up and over your hips. You lift your arms to make it easier, shivering as the cool night air hits your bare skin. Alastor leans back, looking down over your body.

Now, Alastor was no stranger to the female body. Between his various partners and burlesque shows, he'd seen his fair share of half-naked women. He never understood the excitement around them. Until now. Before now, he'd sat in judgment and superiority over the men who whistled at dancers and shouted marriage proposals at the end of a performance. But if you were up on that stage, topless in front of the crowd, he would become one of the many crazed men throwing themselves at your feet.

"This isn't an art gallery," you teased. Your discomfort added a hint of venom to your words. "You can touch me."

He chuckled for a moment before pulling your face to his once again. His chest pressed flush to yours. The warmth was all enveloping, wrapping itself around you and settling into every crevice of your bodies.

"If I touch you, my dear," he whispers. "I may never be able to stop."

"Then don't."

Alastor's smile seemed to spread even further. He brought his hand to your stomach, feeling the soft skin below his fingers. His hand trailed upward quickly, coming to cup your breast. He leaned forward, resting his forehead against your shoulder. He squeezed the flesh in his palm, and you arch your chest further into his grasp. His free hand found your hip, slipping his pinky finger beneath the hem of your underwear.

You brought your hand to his hair, gripping it. You pressed your face into the top of his head, taking in his scent. As he slid his hand under your underwear to grip your rear, the vague smells of sweat and leather were utterly intoxicating. When he squeezed the fat of your ass, you instinctively pulled on his dark curls. The noise he released was strangled yet dripping in pleasure. You gave another experimental tug, earning another groan.

On the third tug, he finally spoke. "You're doing this on purpose now, aren't you?" His voice was breathy and spoken into your neck.

"And you're enjoying it," you mused. He dug his nails into your ass, making you yelp a little.

"Tread carefully, Doll."

Alastor began to trail his lips downward, leaving kisses as he went down your collar bone. The tightness in your core was becoming unbearable as he began to kiss over your breast. He licked over your sensitive nipple, enjoying the hardness against his tongue.

His own arousal had become excruciating. He finally brought the hand that wasn't firmly planted on your ass down under the waistline of his pants. He didn't miss the heat radiating from your core as he passed it. He loved it. He loved knowing how you enjoyed his touch. He took his throbbing cock into his hand, giving it a gentle stroke. You pulled on his hair at the same time, eliciting the loudest moan yet.

With that, Alastor had enough. The only noises he'd heard from you so far were giggles and little gasps. He wanted to make you scream. He pulled his hand from the flesh of your ass, teasing one finger over your covered heat.

"May I?" He spoke into your chest, running his finger from your clothed entrance to your sensitive clit. He gave a dark chuckle when you nodded. "Use your words, dear."

You gave a dry swallow. "Yes, please."

His slender fingers slipped below your panties, squeezing your clit between his fingers. Such a familiar yet foreign feeling. Sure, you'd explored on your own. You were used to the feeling of your own fingers along your clit or on occasion inside of you. How could the same action feel so much better when Alastor did it? He swirled the sensitive bud, loving the way your slick coated his fingers. You pressed your hips further into his hand. His concentration began to fault as he tried to please both of you.

He grazed the tip of his finger over your entrance. You let out a long whine at the feeling, making Alastor smile against your skin. He circled around your core a few times, teasing you. He finally frees himself from his pajama bottoms, allowing his cock to spring up against his stomach. He leans back against the headboard, trying desperately to keep his breathing even. You couldn't help but take in the sight.

His eyes were closed behind foggy glasses. His chest rose and fell with his labored breaths. The skin over his neck and chest was shiny with sweat. The faintest hint of abs showed across his stomach. And there it was for you. You'd never gotten a good look at one before, and here it was for your viewing. Caramel color that matched his chest, darkening along the bulbous head. Was that a normal size? It seemed a bit too large to be normal. Strong, slender fingers curled around the base, spreading some clear liquid over the length. It looked strangely... appetizing.

"AH!" You practically screamed when Alastor dipped his finger tip inside of you for a moment, cutting off your thoughts. You had to brace yourself against his chest as he laughed. "No fair," you muttered, meeting his eyes.

"I beg to differ," he mused. He leaned forward, kissing you on the tip of your nose. You tilted your head up, puckering your lips for him to kiss. He didn't hesitate to force his tongue between your lips.

You trailed your fingers down his chest, feeling the muscles beneath his skin. He pressed his finger back into you, swallowing the moan that escaped you. You gripped his shoulder in an attempt to cope with the stretch. His fingers were longer than yours by quite a bit. So much deeper. You couldn't help but grind into his palm, gaining friction on your clit. He took the hint, using his thumb to circle it. Alastor pulled away from you, nesling into your shoulder.

"My dearest," he whispered. "I want to show you something." He pulled back to look you in the eyes.

"Okay." Your voice came out as a slight whimper.

He removed his hand from your core, resulting in a soft whimper. He put his hands on your waist, lifting you off of his lap. He crawled off the bed. You looked on in confusion as he fell to his knees by the edge.

"Sit over the edge, dear," Alastor instructed. You followed, of course. He placed your legs on either side of his head, smiling brightly. "Such a good girl." He massaged your thigh gently, kissing the skin.

He looped his fingers under your panties. He slowly pulled them down your legs, eyes never leaving your core.

"If it becomes too much, tell me." His voice was firm, leaving no room for argument. You nodded. He took his glasses from his face, placing them on the floor beside him. He then pressed a kiss to the inside of your thigh. Then another. He trailed up the inside of your thigh until he was barely an inch from your heat.

You were vaguely familiar with the concept of cunnilingus, but you'd never expected it. You watched him rub your clit with two fingers. You used your arm to support you as you leaned back.

Alastor gave a kiss to your muff, taking a deep inhale of your scent. He then pressed his lips to your clit. He ran his tongue over it. You were so. Fucking. Delicious. He began to suck on the little bud as though his life depended on it. You let out a low moan of pleasure. He used his tongue to flick across it, enjoying the way your thighs began to squeeze his head.

His fingers grazed your leaking hole before pressing one digit inside. You moaned again, louder this time. You felt him grin against you. Your body clenched around his finger, sucking him in deeper. He licked just above your pussy, making your hips buck into his face. He began the thrust his finger in and out of you. You tossed your head back in pleasure.

A second finger pressed into you. You whined. He ran his thumb over your clit to balance the pain and pleasure. His breath tickled your sensitive skin. As his two fingers pushed in and out of you, he ran them across your inside walls. He reattached to your bud, suckling and licking over it with a renewed ferocity.

"AAAaa- Fuck!" Your body shot forward as his fingers found a soft spot inside of you. His grin seemed to double as you buried a hand in his hair. He pulled away from you, removing his fingers as well. You whined desperately.

He licked over your entrance before pushing his tongue into your dripping cunt. He brought his fingers to your clit, swirling in between them. His tongue seemed too long to be human. It curled inside of you, hitting that soft spot over and over. Between his fingers and tongue working you, it's hard to hold back each moan and gasp that came from you.

The cool breeze came over your skin, making Alastor's lingering saliva feel ice cold against your skin. You lifted your eyes to the window. It was open, curtains spread wide. Any passing animal or hunter would surely see you if they turned to look. As the realization washed over you, it caused an odd ripple of pleasure in your core.

You felt a familiar knot in your gut as Alastor pulled you closer. He dropped one of his hands to his own arousal, pumping like his life depended on it. The way your thighs squeezed him and your hips bucking into his mouth told him you were close. He couldn't have been more excited. You were the greatest meal he'd ever had, and now, he would make sure you finished.

With one final press to your sensitive spot, you let out a scream of pleasure that made your throat go raw. The sound made Alastor groan, and the taste of your cum filling his mouth was more than he could take. He didn't breathe for a moment as he came into his hand, lost in the ecstasy of finally, finally, knowing what his dearest tasted like.

[peterman-spideyparker]

Babe (Matt Murdock x fem!Reader)

Author’s Note: Hey everyone! Here's the angst I was talking about! I've probably had this written for like . . . 6-8 months, but I finally feel good enough with it to post. This first part can be read as a stand-alone, but I'm gonna post a part two that can be read with it. Enjoy! :)

Summary: Matt is your great love. He is everything to you. But when Matt takes a trip to California for work and a video of Daredevil emerges doing the walk of shame, you feel like dying inside. And it marks the end for you.

Song Inspo: Babe (Taylor's Version) (From the Vault) by Taylor Swift

Warnings: ANGST, Matt and reader are married, Matt cheats on reader, they're both heartbroken at the situation, swearing

Other Characters: None

Word Count: 1,118

All you can do is replay the short videos you’ve seen in your head, the tabloid headlines—even the gifs that were made. Over and over again, all you can see is Matt, in a red and yellow suit, whistling and walking barefoot down a suburban sidewalk after leaving a house there. Your husband, your Matt. Your Matty. The man you love, the man you vowed your life to.

You turn your head when you hear footsteps shuffle at the other side of the door, keys jingling in the lock before the old door swings open. 

“Hey, (Y/N),” he says with a warm smile as he moves in the entryway. The smile quickly fades when he senses your bags and the salt from your tears. “(Y/N), what’s going on?”

Matt takes a step forward, but you take a step back. 

“Angel—,” he tries again. You know he knows, but he’s always had a strong poker face, even with you.

“I just want to know one thing,” you say, your voice cracking as your bottom lip trembles. “How could you do something like that?”

He looses all color from his face. He knows exactly what you’re talking about. “I . . . I don’t know. It’s a shit response, but—.”

“No. No.” A tear rolls down your cheek. “You can’t justify it. This is the consequence for what you did.”

“I don’t know why I did what I did, but angel, please understand—!”

“I’m not your angel anymore, Matt, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to understand what you did out there. I . . . I keep picturing these things, what you could’ve done, what you did—your lips on her neck. I can’t unsee that.”

“Please—.”

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be. I’ll get a lawyer, I won’t ask for anything, and it’ll be done quick. No need to drag it out.” You pick up your bags and walk past him to the door, Matt looking completely broken. “I’ll get the rest of my things when you’re not here.”

“(Y/N), please, let’s talk this through.”

You take a deep breath. “Did you flirt with her?”

His mouth opens slightly. “Yes.”

“Did you kiss her?”

He lets out a sigh. “Yes.”

“Did you sleep with her?”

He hangs his head. “Yes.”

“Did you keep your wedding ring on during the trip?”

You see tears rolling down his cheeks. “No.”

You wipe a tear of your own away. “Then I don’t see what else there is to talk through. We weren’t important enough to you. I haven’t been in a long time, I think.” You pick up your bag again. “I left my rings by the bed.”

“I can’t lose you,” he breathes. 

“You lost me when you flirted with her.”

“(Y/N), please.” He sounds like broken glass being shuffled around on the ground. 

“I’ll never be able to look at you the same. The man who swore to never hurt me. To love me for the rest of his life.”

“I do love you, (Y/N). I-I . . .” His eyes pinch shut, defeat setting in on his features. “I am so sorry I hurt you. I-I know there’s nothing I can do to change what I did. But let me—.”

“Try to make it up to me? Try to prove you love me? Show that it was a lapse in judgement? Matt, there’s nothing you can do. I can’t look at you the same as I did.”

“You don’t want to even fight for us?” he says, anger now creeping into his voice. “You’re just ready to throw in the towel?”

“Don’t you dare—.”

“You bet I fucking dare. I promised you through thick and thin, and right now, we’re in the thick of it. I’m not letting you leave this loft until we at least talk!”

“We did!”

“No, we didn’t. You asked me questions, but your mind was made up before I even got back in the city.”

“Matt, it’s like you’re missing the point! I love you—!”

“And I love you!”

“Matt, I have never felt wanted or treasured or loved in a relationship before, and then I met you and I felt all of that and more. You are my whole world, and you just tossed me aside for a fling because . . . because . . . because I don’t know why! And it just feels like all of that, all of what we shared, was just an act.”

“It wasn’t. I swear, it wasn’t.”

“Then why did you hurt me like that?”

Matt’s bottom lip trembled as he takes in a deep breath. 

“Jen . . .” Hearing her name is like a gut punch that tears your heart in two. “She gets it. Having powers, being able to help people . . . It was nice to connect with someone like that.”

You bite the inside of the bottom of your lip, the corners of your lips pulling into a deep pout.

“And she gets what it’s like being an attorney,” you add, your voice wet with tears.

He lets out a dejected breath. “She does.”

He wants someone that’s like him, that gets it. How could I have been so stupid? 

Your lip begins to tremble viciously, and Matt rushes to take your hands. 

“I love that you don’t have the same job as me,” he starts. “I love that we have different interest. I love how we complement one another.”

“Matt—.”

“I love how you’ve always been my rock since we met. Since before we started dating.”

“Matt, please—.”

“I love your head, and I love your heart. I love you for everything you are and how you fill the holes in my soul.”

You’re both crying now, but you can’t look at him. If you look at him, you’re afraid you’ll stay.

“I never questioned if I was good enough for you,” you croak. “Ever since I saw . . . Ever since I saw those videos of you leaving in your suit, barefoot outside of her place, that’s all I’ve been able to do. How I failed as a partner, as a friend.”

“You didn’t—.”

“I know. This isn’t on me.” You take a step back, pulling your hands from his. “You were my great love, Matt. I’ll always appreciate that. But all my trust is gone, now. Please understand that.”

He nods, his bottom lip between his teeth. “You can leave,” he says feebly, his voice wet with tears. “I deserve it. You deserve better. But I need you to know I’m always going to love you.”

“And I’m never going to stop loving you.”

Your chest hurts. Your lungs burn and your heart shatters as you grab your bag and walk out of your home. 

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[mayrose713]

Beautifully Cruel World-Chapter 10

Series Masterlist | Previous | Next

ABO Non-Idol Stray Kids Universe Poly OT8 x Reader 18+ MDNI

Warnings in the Series Masterlist as well as any other information needed

Warning: Smut First time I've ever written smut, so I'm sorry if it sucks (I'm updating the warnings in the series masterlist so this is the only other warning for smut from here on out)

Also want to let everyone know that with holiday seasons coming up, work is getting busier and I'm gonna be working more days than my normal here soon so it's gonna be a bit harder to write. I promise to update as often as possible and I'm gonna start adding dates next to the upcoming chapters in the masterlist on when they should be posted so refer to that.

thank you everyone for reading, now enjoy

Chapter 10

“How was it?” Jisung asks after Y/n walks out of the office he was waiting for her in front of as she was talking with her therapist and psychiatrist and he can see the signs that she’s been crying which doesn’t surprise him. 

“Weird.” She sniffles, wiping her nose with a tissue. “They asked me a lot of mental health questions mostly, and they want to put me on anti anxiety meds for sure and maybe antidepressants.”

“It’s not too bad.” He takes her hand to lead her back to the lobby where Chan is waiting for them. “I was put on the same when I first started coming here. Still take the anxiety ones actually.”

“Really?” She looks at him surprised. 

“Yeah.” He nods his head. “I was homeschooled as a kid so I didn’t socialize as much as I should have and it caused a lot of anxiety because of it. The only reason I know Chan and Changbin is because my dad worked for their dads originally. Really they were my only friends back then.”

“Good to know.” She nods, frowning. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I just realized I don’t actually know a lot about all of you guys, or how you all came to be.” She whispers, looking at the floor. 

“Well feel free to ask questions whenever, we‘ll be happy to answer.” He squeezes her hand as they walk out into the lobby and Chan looks up at them.

“You okay?” Chan stands as the two walk up to him and he pulls her into his side. 

“Yeah, it was just a lot.” She hands him the paper for her anti-anxiety prescription. 

The alpha looks over it and sighs but understands and reads the note about possible antidepressants but they want to have more sessions with her to determine that. 

“I’m gonna ask you like I had asked Ji when they wanted to prescribe him this too.” He moves her to look at him. “Do you want to be put on medication? Do you think it will actually help you?”

“I-I don’t know. I’ve never taken stuff like this before.” She stutters. “But I’m wary because of the injections.” She then looks over at Jisung. “Does it help you?”

“Yeah, I think so.” He smiles at her. “I feel like I’m able to get through the day easier with it. And don’t worry, it’s nothing like how the injection was.”

Y/n nods her head still thinking about it and Chan tilts her head to look up at him. “Hey, you can try them out for a bit and if you don’t like how they make you feel or don’t think they’re helping then we can slowly get you off of it.” He reassures her. “We did that with Jisung for his antidepressants.” 

“Okay.” She whispers. “I’ll try it.” 

Chan goes and gets the prescription sent in to be picked up at the pharmacy in Stayville and picks it up on their way home. 

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆

“Baby girl.” Chan stops the omega as she walks past his room and motions for her to come in. “I’ve noticed you’ve been in your head since we got home, talk to me.” He shuts the door after she walks in.

She sighs as he leads her to sit on his bed. “I just realized today that I don’t actually know a lot about all of you.” 

“That’s all?” He watches her closely as she nods her head. “Baby, all you have to do is ask us questions and we’ll tell you anything you want to know.” 

“Can you tell me about your family and where you came from?” She asks shyly. “I remember Minho telling me that Hannah visits from Australia a lot. And Dr. Hajoon was calling you Chris.” 

“Yeah.” He smiles and laughs a little as he sits next to her. “My English name is Christopher. I was born here but was mostly raised in Australia. My dad went back and forth from there and here to help Changbin’s dad run the company. His dad retired so he and I handle the Korean office while my dad still runs the one there.”

The omega nods as she listens. “Your brother is an omega. What about Hannah? And your parents?”

“Lucas is our only omega in my family pack too.” He smiled at her. “My dad is an alpha and so is Hannah. My mom is a beta.”

“Would we ever be able to go visit Australia?” She whispers.

“Of course.” He lifts her head to look at him. “As a pack we own a vacation house there so that Felix and I are able to visit our families often.”

Y/n’s jaw dropped. “How did I not realize that Felix is also Australian?”

“I don’t know, baby.” He laughs a bit. “Felix and I have known each other since we were kids. I taught him Korean and after I had moved and gotten settled here with Changbin, Jisung and Seungmin we moved him here.” 

“Ji said you guys were the only friends he had since his dad worked for yours.” She looks over his facial features. “How did everyone else come into the pack?”

“Well, Seungmin and I went to high school together here. I was his senior.” He smiles as she listens closely. “He was a bit unsure of himself when he realized we were fated. I had to go up to him first and tell him about Changbin and Jisung, who I was living with and tell him about Felix back home.”

“Minho had run into Jisung at a caffe not far from the office. At the time Minho was a backup dancer for BTS but after meeting Ji and wanting to court him since he was his fated mate, he decided to stay in Seoul and started teaching dance. And Ji convinced him to meet the other four of us as he knew we were his fated mates too.”

“Min was a backup dancer for BTS?” Y/n gawks. “I don’t believe it.”

“Look up some of their live performances, you’ll see.” And she makes a mental note to do so later. “Hyunjin and Jeongin met each other in school and knew they were each other's fated mates. Hyunjin had started taking classes from Min and even though they both realized they were fated mates, Jinnie was too scared of Minho to talk to him about it and Min wasn’t about courting his student.”

Y/n couldn’t help but laugh at how cute the whole situation is. “So how did it finally happen?”

“Felix.” Chan smirks. “Changbin had dropped him off at the studio one day to bring Minho lunch and Hyunjin fell in love at first sight. After that Lix made Jinnie and Min talk and Hyunjin told them about Jeongin and they told him about the rest of us.”

“That’s all really cute.” The omega gushes. “Best story ever.”

“I don’t know.” He grins at her mischievously. “I think my favorite story is the one about how we met our omega.” He grabs her pulling her onto his lap so she’s straddling him causing her to blush.

“Channie.” She pouts as he holds her hips and Y/n can’t help but to glance down at his lips, thinking about what it would be like to kiss him.

Y/n starts to wonder if they’re gonna claim her soon or not, thinking back to what her brother had told her, about them possibly just using her.

“You’re thinking too much, baby girl.” The alpha grips her hips a bit tighter causing her to whine a little. “Just say it.”

“Please.” She looks back and forth from his eyes to his lips.

“You’ve gotta say it.” She continues to pout though and he lightly spanks her ass. “Come on baby, I don’t know what you’re wanting if you don’t speak up.”

“Please claim me, alpha.” She sounds disparate.

“Fuck.” He growls, pulling her down to kiss her lips. “Wasn’t expecting that.”

The kiss is heated and passionate, he smirks at the small wines she’s making. He spanks her again causing her to gasp and the alpha takes the opportunity to slide his tongue past her lips. She doesn’t try to fight back with her tongue, already submitting to him.

He pulls away from the kiss and starts trailing kisses down her jaw to her neck, relishing in the little sounds she makes. He groans into her neck when she bucks her hips against him, her nails digging into his shoulders. 

Chan buries his nose into her scent gland before switching their positions so she’s on the bed and he’s hovering above. One arm next to her head to keep himself up and the other lightly trailing up her bare thigh to the bottom of her skirt. 

“Are you sure about this, baby girl? Because once we start, I’m not stopping.” He looks into Y/n’s eyes, seeing how desperate and needy she already is as she nods her head. “Words baby, I need you to use your words.”

“Yes alpha, I’m sure.”

“Good girl.” He growls as he pushes her skirt up and cups her sex, feeling how damp her underwear is. “Fuck, my little omega, you’re already so wet.” 

Y/n covers her face with her hands in embarrassment as he continues to rub her through her panties letting out little whines and moans. 

“Don’t hide from me.” Chan grabs both of her wrists with one hand and moves them from her face and pins them above her head. “There she is, my beautiful girl.”

“Channie.” Y/n bucks her hips against his hand. “You’re teasing.”

“Am I?” He fake pouts at her before taking his hand away from her and she whines and squirms as he still holds her in place. “What’s wrong? I thought you didn’t want me to tease you? So I stopped.” 

“Chan, please.” And with a smirk at her begging he lets go of her wrists, moving his hands to her blouse and takes it off and raises a brow at her bare chest. “No bra? Tsk, naughty girl.”

“Took it off when we got home.” Y/n pants. “It was uncomfortable.” 

“Of course it was.” He coos, kissing her lips again and cups her boob, squeezing it a little before playing with her nipple. 

She arches her back, moaning into his mouth as she starts pulling at his shirt trying to get it off. Chan sits back pulling the shirt over his head and she ogles him, eyes roaming over every muscle of his torso. She then notices the bulge in his jeans, sitting up she unbuttons them as he smiles while watching her, helping take his pants off leaving him in his boxers. 

Chan grabs the waistband of her skirt, pulling it down along with her panties before pushing her to lay back down as he looks over her.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispers, moving his fingers to play with her slit before pushing a finger in causing her to bite her lip. “You’re so tight, baby. If you can’t take my finger, how are you gonna take my cock?”

“I can take it.” The omega moans as he starts to finger her. “Please alpha, I can, I promise.”

“Let me prep you first.”

He pushes a second finger in and makes a come hither motion and she arches her back once again grabbing onto his arm as he speeds up his fingers. 

“Channie, please.” Y/n whimpers as he pulls his fingers out of her pussy, bringing his fingers to his mouth to taste her slick.

“Mmm, you tastes so good. Gonna have to eat you out sometime.” He wastes no time sliding his boxers off before leaning over her, lining up with her. “This might hurt a little, but I promise it will get better, just let me know if it gets to be too much.”

“Okay.” Y/m whispers and gasps when he starts to push in. 

When Chan feels some resistance he gives a hard thrust, completely bottoming out inside her causing her to moan a little in pain and pleasure. He stays still, looking at her face to check she’s okay and wipes away a tear from her eye.

“Does it hurt?”

“A little.” The omega whimpers before grinding against him. “Please move.”

Chan pulls out a bit before thrusting back in causing her to gasp again as he moves. Her expression soon changed from that of a bit of pain into pleasure.

“You’re so tight, baby girl.” He grunts as her hands go to his shoulders, claws coming out and start digging into his skins as she becomes a moaning mess under him.

“Please alpha, more.” And he speeds up his rhythm, rutting into her as he looks down to where they are connected seeing just how well she’s taking him. 

When he sees some blood, which shockingly didn’t make her feel bad for hurting her but turned him on more knowing he’s taken her innocence and now belongs to the pack, to him. The sight of it causes him to harden his thrust and he grabs her hands from his shoulders placing them next to her head and holds them.

“Channie… ah.” Y/n squeezes his hands, head turning to the side as her eyes close, her walls clamping around him.

“Fuck.” He growls, loving the sound her slick makes around his cock. “You close baby?”

She nods in desperation and the knot at the base of his cock starts to swell. “Please, Chan, so close. Want your knot, please. Please claim me.”

Chan nuzzles into her neck for a moment smelling at her scent gland before biting down hard, teeth breaking the skin as he tastes her blood. She screams and cums around him, shaking in pleasure, her juices squirting everywhere making a mess of both of them and the bed. She thought the bite would hurt but instead she just feels a flood of his love and emotions for her.

He stays latched onto her neck riding out her pleasure before his knot inflates all the way and he releases his load into her. His knot keeps him locked in as his cum fills her up, some spilling out around his cock. It isn’t until she’s milked him dry that he lets go of her neck, licking his lips of her blood.

Y/n gazes up at him looking fucked out as he lets go of one of her hands to push some of her hair out of her face. “You did so good, baby girl.”

“Wanna bite you too.” The omega whimpers as she tries to move but his knot still hasn’t softened, keeping him in place.

Chan leans down, giving her access to his neck, the side with only three mate marks and she bites down just under the bottom one. He groans in pleasure and lets her stay there as long as she wants. 

Once she lets go she looks up at him, eyes full of love. “My alpha.”

“That’s right baby.” He coos and kisses her lips. “I love you so much.”

“Love you too.”

______________________________________________________________

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[cinnamon-galaxies]

𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲

(human!Alastor x f!reader drabble)

Masterlist

Some poetic and reminiscing thoughts from (human) Alastor about his darling-doe. This is unlike anything I've written before. Honestly, I’m not even sure what this is. I wrote it a while ago when I was severely sleep-deprived.

I know he's no longer human in this, but he's telling us about a time when he still was. That's why I tagged it as human!Alastor.

CW: Possessive thoughts, mention of murder and manipulation

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

I remember the day I first saw you so clearly as if it didn’t happen almost a hundred years ago – back then, when we were still human, nothing but mere people made of flesh and bone, born to live, and living to die. Oh, what a beautiful sight you were, so beautiful – the most beautiful creature of them all. Not only your face resembled the image of a goddess, but your soul shone so bright it made even the darkest of times turn day. You were a true angel sent from heaven, a kind soul and oh so fragile. Glancing into those beautiful doe eyes of yours made me want to ruin you. To take you with me, poison your every being and make you mine – and mine only.

It feels as if it was yesterday that you introduced yourself to me. That radiant smile on your lips, those long lashes framing those shining eyes like they’re the most valuable painting in this world, and I've lost myself in you. You made me feel things I’ve never felt before. Things, I didn’t even consider I was able to feel – because I never felt them before. I've heard those tales. Even read those tales about unconditional love. About how the heartbeat increases whenever you’re close to the one you desire. About how much you crave their touch, their voice, their love – completely and utterly devoted to the one person in this world. One out of billions of people. But I never dared to think I would ever feel the same. Did I feel the same? I was obsessed with you; wanted to possess you in every way possible. And when those full lips of yours parted and your angelic voice entered my ears for the first time, you already had it all. And I knew I wanted you to be mine – and mine only.

Were you fascinated by me? Oh, you were. I saw it on your face. In the tiniest details that betrayed your overly polite expression that you so strongly tried to keep professional. I saw that you were intrigued the very moment you laid your eyes on me. It was like fate had sent you to me. Like my mother in heaven twisted all the odds in my favor, just so I could meet you. Oh, the way you smiled at me. The way you looked at me. How your voice slightly raised when you spoke directly to me. It made my heart flutter and it filled me with an emotion I never thought to ever be able to feel my whole life. And I wanted you to be mine – and mine only.

We met again, after that night. More often than appropriate. In parks, at the bank of the Mississippi, at professional events and at a restaurant I so carefully chose. One that I knew would only serve the best of New Orleans’ cuisine. To make you acquainted with my home and my culture. To prepare you to be on my side. I saw you once, I saw you twice. I saw you an umpteenth times. And yet I was waiting for the perfect moment to ruin you – to make you mine – and mine only.

Were you as corrupted as I? Were you – beside your angel-like nature – capable to make the change, to become one like me, and sacrifice your very being to the darkness of twisted human nature? The desire to kill, the desire to hunt with you grew with every passing day. Day to day I've been waiting for the moment. For the perfect opportunity to make you see my true nature. To make you see my grim twisted morality, to make you see my darkest of secrets, to make you accept it with a smile, to make you succumb to your own darkness, to make you fall, to make you mine – and mine only.

The night we first shared a kiss felt like a dream. An oh so beautiful, yet so tragic dream – because I knew that once your lips touched mine, everything between us would change forever. I remember how you stood before me, much like the day we met, though that angelic smile of yours was replaced by a warmth that exceeded every ounce of adoration you gifted to me before. And then you leaned in, and we kissed. That feeling of your soft lips against mine wasn’t anything like I imagined before. It was so much more, an overwhelming explosion of fireworks. Oh, the hunger that roared on my inside, the need to pull you closer and take everything of you – in this very moment – was unbearable. But I waited. Because at this moment I already knew you were mine – and mine only.

Oh, you were my darling.

My darling-doe.

My angel.

My everything.

And now, I will make you fall.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

[suzukiblu]

I love your Kara. I’m so used to her being a one note racist when it comes to Kon-angst. Don’t get me wrong. That’s entertaining for easy angst. But it’s never criticized by anybody. How is she still on the league?

It’s nice to see her be a supportive figure who is worried for him.

Ty! ❤️ I will say I haven't read too much of Kara in the comics (Mae and Linda were my OG Supergirl back in the day and I just vastly preferred them when I was doing most of my reading), so I mostly got her vibe and backstory through the cartoons and fandom osmosis and then extrapolated a few things I hadn't seen explored about her much IN fandom for the takes on her I've written. But like, I've only really seen her be, like, REALLY anti-clone in the New 52, so I don't like to characterize her too strongly by any anti-clone sentiments even if I do sometimes include a bit of them underscoring what she's thinking/doing. Like, more like the kind of low-level ingrained bias you get from growing up in a culture with some shitty beliefs that you haven't ever had a real reason to examine than anything genuinely hateful or anything you actually REALLY believe yourself, if that makes sense.

Also lbr, it's just more interesting to me to make Kara-related issues be things like culture clash and apocalyptic levels of grief and rage that most people around her don't understand and kinda just ignore and, like, an overall frustration with other people not having the cultural context to REALLY understand what she's saying/thinking/doing, a lot of the time. Like, this is a character with a dead planet and a dead SPECIES who if things had gone to plan probably would've been "Superwoman" LONG before Clark grew up enough to even develop powers at all, much less be SuperMAN, and who SHOULD be older and more mature/experienced than all of these superpowered adults that she got dumped in the middle of who historically do NOT do all that well with surprise teenagers while also having the possibility of growing up STRONGER than Clark but simultaneously getting shit on by both the narrative and said superpowered adults, and also she's just never seemed as integrated into the hero community as, like, Dick or Babs or Kon or Tim or whoever else. Like she's just that LITTLE bit disconnected from them all, it tends to feel like to me. So there's a lot to mine there, character-wise! Like way more than just one-note clone-racism!

Anyway tl;dr: I got a lil' carried away there but I love the whole entire concept of Kara and I always wanna write her being MUCH more complicated than I usually see her getting handled. I wanna do our girl some justice!!

[neuvigroove]

𝒊 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒔 𝒍𝒆𝒇𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒚.

pairings. scaramouche x fem reader synopsis. scaramouche swore to himself to protect you from dottore, but in order to do so, he must abandon you. before he leaves though, he makes sure to put a smile on your face. genre/warnings. pure angst, written in scara's pov, reader is energetic and childish, she/her pronouns used for reader, mentions of blood, stabbing, and death wc. 1.1k a/n. i actually shed a tear while writing this and listening to summertime sadness. playlist. die first - nessa barrett, summertime sadness - lana del rey, train wreck - james arthur

[2:39pm]

today is y/n's birthday.

i can see her in the near distance, skipping around like an excited little kid. she's always had too much energy for me to bear, but perhaps i've grown used to it, seeing that she's always glued to my side for some reason unknown to me.

that bliss however, will change today. dottore knows about where she's from. a planet far from the depths of teyvat. a globe dominated solely by the human race with no room for elemental power. a planet currently known as earth.

very little is known about this planet, which only causes dottore's interest to peak. her origin makes her the perfect test subject for the doctor, but i will not let him lay a dirty fingernail on her.

we cannot continue to travel as one; dottore will find her if she's with me. i don't have any cards left to play.

i do worry that leaving her alone would put her in another danger. she carries no vision, nor any strength that could compare to the creatures of teyvat. however, nothing is more dangerous than becoming an experiment of the second fatui harbinger. on the inside i know she'll be okay. she can find-

she can find my replacement. a new companion.

my only option is to watch over her from the shadows. that is the only way i can protect her.

sometimes i can tell that i hurt her feelings when we converse. but my personality is something i can't change, and she's never seemed to want change from me. perhaps that's why i've enjoyed her company more than i could ever enjoy another human being's. she understands me more than i think she does.

since i made her cry on her last birthday, i've decided that i could attempt to make her smile this time around. in my defense though, the cookies she made for us to share together were truly detrimental. but... maybe my words were too harsh. i forget what i said exactly... "you wanna poison me? are you so dumb as to have forgotten that i'm not human?"

my eyes trail back to ms. craziness and my eyes widen when she trips over a tree branch. i actually have no idea how i've been traveling together with a girl who has two left legs without dying. i don't notice the tears streaming from my eyes until she looks my way and spots me.

she runs over to me, and i quickly wipe the useless, hot tears. when i see her happy expression, i need to make an effort not to let the guilt eat me alive. i think i've admitted it to myself a while ago, but i love y/n. i'd presumed just as everyone else that i'm a puppet incapable of anything close to love, but if what i feel for y/n isn't love then i'm not sure what it is. i am positive that it is love. when you experience pain, you don't doubt it and assume it's something else. you just feel. and when i'm with her i feel.

"SCARA!" y/n exclaims as she topples me over in a hug. i nearly fall to the ground, but i'm able to catch us before it's too late. gosh, can she even contain her energy for two rational seconds?

i shove her off of me, but before i can say anything, she excitedly holds up a compass-like trinket in my face. "look! a sweet young boy gave me this lovely compass! it's supposed to lead you to wherever you'll be the happiest! and~ it led me right to you! we are just the perfect little duo, aren't we scara?"

i scoff, "and you believe that? it led you towards me because i'm standing north from where you were earlier."

y/n's excited expression drops.

"oh..." she pouts. "well... we can still pretend, right?"

pretend. maybe i can pretend she'll always be with me.

"pretending won't get you anywhere in life," i respond flatly.

"oh, but you pretend all the time," she responds. "i know you sometimes pretend that you can't hear me when i ramble about random things. although it hurts my feelings, you're still my best friend, scara."

what she said is actually not true. i in fact remember everything she rambles about in great detail. like that one time she was complaining about how she hates her hair because the wind blows it in an unattractive way. it was just so annoying because she needs to set her priorities straight. her appearance should be the last of her worries.

"give me your hand," i say. my voice is softer than i intended it to be. when she extends her hand, i slip a diamond bracelet around her wrist. on it is a charm with her nickname for me engraved in the center: scara.

please don't forget about me.

"oh, scara... it's beautiful! I'll never take it off. i promise."

"i have a matching one," i respond as i hold up my wrist for her the see.

she smiles when she sees the nickname engraved on my bracelet: princess.

there it is. her smile.

i sigh. "human, i know that you have your other shenanigans to deal with today, as do i. but meet me up that hill in the forest at sunset."

"oh, okay? scara, why are you being extra nice today?"

"um," i attempt a half smile. "it's your birthday, isn't it?"

[6:03pm]

i pick up the sword from the wet grass of the forest mountain beneath me. it's raining hard tonight. y/n is going to catch a cold, and i won't be there to care.

i walk over to the puppet standing across from me. my puppet. the puppet i've created to fake my own death. isn't it funny? the puppet of a puppet. both abandoned by their creators.

i take my bracelet off and slip it on its wrist. she has to believe it's me.

"i'm sorry," i whisper before stabbing my clone in the chest. i close my eyes when i hear my own voice cry out in a short-lived pain. it falls to the ground, lifeless as i walk away into the forest.

the bloodshed spreads with the heavy rain, and moments later, i see y/n approach the dead body. there she is.

and i feel as if my nonexistent heart has cracked in half when she screams. my eyes close in a sort of pain i've never experienced before. i'm sorry. i'm so sorry, princess. it's the only way you wouldn't look for me.

i wish that a day will come where we can be partners again. but on the inside i know that her human lifespan is not long enough to fulfill that silly wish.

scaramouche fanart credit: X (Twitter) : llxx88103769

[lemotmo]

I’m honestly really worried right now with how nasty this has all gotten so fast.

I feel so bad for Oliver. His entire storyline he’s waited years to tell has now completely been hijacked from start to finish thanks to Lou and his cult.

The disgusting things being said about Oliver. About Ryan. The show itself. All with Lou liking and engaging with them playing up the poor me card with them.

Like they are literally demanding Oliver be written off the show as punishment and any future Buck scenes they already filmed scrubbed out. I saw a few say deport Ryan back to Mexico and then write Eddie off by sending him to Texas permanently and send Buck with him. Some saying Lou should have been kept on and Oliver let go.

Like it’s all insane. And none of them deserve it because they didn’t do anything wrong. No one misled or promised or lied. They have been open and transparent about BT from the start. Tim literally said at the very beginning this was an entry level relationship. No wedding bells.

I’m also getting worried the network is going to pull the plug on buddie because even if it’s not us doing it, they might not wanna deal with the insane blowback these people are causing and will cause when buddie happens.

Don't worry Nonny. Like I said before, Oliver will be fine. Ryan will be fine.

Oliver has disabled comments on his post on Instagram because he knew exactly what was coming. They are both probably avoiding social media right now, but I'm also certain they'll be back as soon as the worst is over.

The show never made any promises about BT. On the contrary, they made it very clear, since day one, that Tommy was there to be a plot device. Eddie was all over the BT narrative in both seasons. In season 8 BT were still in the same place they ended in season 7. There was no growth whatsoever. Also, there was no buildup at all for them. Tommy just existed next to Buck in episode 5, but there wasn't one single sign of physical affection. Even in episode 6 there was only a cheek kiss. It reminded me of Eddie kissing Ana when he returned home after the shooting. A single cheek kiss. We all know how that relationship ended.

I wouldn't worry too much about the network. It seems bad right now, because they are all being loud and obnoxious, but the BT fandom is actually quite small compared to the Buddie fandom and the general 911 fandom. Their voices will be drowned out by all the positivity in the end. These BT stans will stop watching the show, but it won't even make a dent in the ratings. There's only a few hundred of them.

I checked Instagram and I've already seen so many positive comments, saying it was one of the best episodes of season 8, praising all the actors and crew for their hard work.

So don't worry. ABC knows exactly what Buddie could mean for the show. It would most definitely increase the popularity. Bi Buck already brought in a lot of people (some of them who have already left us again since Thursday evening), but a lot of them are here for the bi representation and they are here to stay.

So imagine how crazy things would get if Eddie would turn out to be not so straight after all and very much in love with his best friend? And Buck finally figuring out who he really wants?

The episodes leading up to them finally getting together would draw in so many new people who heard that those two 'gay firefighters from 911' are finally getting together after 7 loooong seasons.

ABC doesn't care about a few hundred people throwing a tantrum under a social media post. They do care for ratings and making a profit. That's it.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Tell you one thing though: After what he has done? Lou will never ever work on anything for ABC again, which means that we won't ever see him back on 911 and that's a beautiful thing. 😏😆

[lover-of-mine]

Lady Whistledown.... Baby.. The dumpster is on fire!!!! Let's go to the upside down world because I don't know if we should laugh or cry.

First things first. I have never been able to accurately track what OG Buddies made their prominent burners on X and Insta. It was like June when Oliver started blocking them that they were created. And they just vanished. All gone. So much traffic and propaganda gone. Also some of them now pretending they want back on the Buddie train like they never trashed it.

Two. Huge conspiracy that this was all out of nowhere. I mean he mentioned Eddie on an anniversary date and sure this shit just fell out of the sky. But the election, the Buddies the all of it just became to much and Tim cut it prematurely.

Three. They have always hated Oliver but now it's worse. Lous words make it seem like poor him, he wanted the story. It was evil Oliver and his crush on Ryan that ended it all. He basically became a martyr to them.

Four.. they are going nowhere. Don't think you are getting a break. They hope it's the beginning of the rom com slow burn. Buck will realize he needs to fight to get Tommy back. Or just hate watching. Hating on all things Buddie and Ryan and Oliver.

Lastly everyone should just watch their in boxes. They have always false flagged and pretended to be "Buddies" to create chaos. It won't stop. It will be a long hiatus after next week.

But back on grass. Honestly it's the OG Buddies that switched ships that are the most pissed. They didn't even get an angsty break up. It was literally so boring. And they hate he called him Buck after they spent months making a big deal about Evan. It's like they think it was designed to wound them on purpose.

I will keep you posted if anything more interesting happens. I feel like it's going to be a long weekend.

Hello baby. This is... wow. I can't even say it's unexpected, because it is very expected. I actually watched a bunch of those accounts disappear. Turning on Oliver is literally the most obvious thing they could ever do, I literally read a post saying they wish the show had written off Oliver instead. The idea the show filmed different ending and the episode was edited because Trump won is literally the most insane thing I've seen coming from them and that's saying something. And honestly, I was bracing myself from them not to go anywhere anyway so. I did giggle when he called him Buck, I mean I was giggling the whole scene because green, but that was a highlight lol. The relationship ended as uneventful as it happened, and it was brought on by Abby of all thing AND highlighted the way Buck is very much still on the hamster wheel. Anyone who's been here before 704 caught on the way that was a repetition of patterns, I can only imagine how mad they are after jumping ship and creating all this chaos. Please do keep me posted, it's definitely gonna be an interesting weekend.

[hellaverseconfessions1369420]

Long confession ahead, apologies in advance.

Look, I don't get heated about shipping. I like what I like, and I look at things I like. If I don't like whatever someone is posting, I'll filter the tags, and if they aren't using the tags appropriately, I will block them. It's fairly easy for me to avoid ships I personally dislike most of the time. I do all of the things I'm supposed to, and yet I'm still having this problem.

There is one singular ship on God's green earth that kills all of my enjoyment for both of the characters involved, and it is radioapple. I have never felt such strong emotions about any other ship before in any of the fandoms I'm part of. It's fucking everywhere. I genuinely cannot use this website if I want to see Lucifer or Alastor fanart/fanfic, and I'm not moving sites.

But God. I'm so fucking sick and tired of seeing "this post contains filtered content: #radioapple." When S1 first came out, I counted 37 blocked posts in a row on top of #Alastor on one given day. I had to scroll through 37 blocked fucking posts before I found ONE that wasn't about fucking radioapple. And that isn't counting all the OTHER Alastor ships, because of course that's all anyone gives a shit about anymore.

I'm on mobile, so I can't use browser extensions to make Tumblr's filtering system actually do what I want it to (delete every radioapple post, forever). I also don't feel like buying a laptop for fucking Tumblr. I've been getting back into HH after falling out of it for a while for related reasons, and I forgot how much angrier and more unhappy I am coming out of #Alastor or (to a lesser extent) #Lucifer than when I went in. Which is super awesome considering they're my two faves.

I wish I was kidding when I say I have actually cried real tears more than once over this. I'm aroace, and I thought maybe for once I'd get to feel at least a little bit included and represented in fandom as a whole. I thought having a canon aroace character would be that for me, at least one tag I could semi-comfortably browse and feel like I'm actually part of shit and not a spectator for once, but obviously not. I don't even get to look at fanart of a character I enjoy without being constantly reminded of how different and alone I am, even when that character is different in exactly the same way as me. Even characters like Alastor that are written to be like me aren't written for me. Because why would anyone create anything for someone like me to enjoy when they could instead jam a little more sex and romance in there?

I once scrolled through #Alastor blocking all the radioapple posters for so long that I reached the bottom of the page. Tumblr would not show me any more posts and I had to reload it. I blocked 209 different blogs, and it barely made a dent. 209. I can't curate my way out of this. I genuinely think I just don't get to like those characters anymore, and it fucking sucks. I want my deer man back.

TL;DR: I cannot enjoy these characters I deeply relate to with how prevalent and fucking inescapable this one ship is, and I'm not sure how to fix it. Frankly I'm not sure it's fixable, but I would love it if this wasn't something else I just don't get to have like everyone else. Someone tell me what to do about this. I want to have fun too.

I understand why you would think that. I’m probably aroaceflux and I can see some alastor in me (aroacewise, not serial killer wise) and why you wouldn’t want to see the ships you don’t like. Unfortunately that’s how many fandoms work, they’ll just keep shipping.

to be honest, I don’t know what to say, but thanks for the confession and I hope things get better for you

[dinsbeskar]

This is an absolute masterpiece. I'm actually past capitals, and back to lowercase, I am in such awe. This is one of those things I wish I'd written, it's so gorgeous, so artfully written, the imagery is so beautiful, and you made a blowjob seem like poetry, absolutely astounding??

Okay I have many quotes (I actually copied over 30, it must have been your entire fic, so I've heavily edited down to my absolute favourite bits)

“A messenger of the Valar. A being of pure light, sent to unlock his grandest abilities.” You turn around in his arms, and wrap yours around his neck, grinning. “I don’t believe I’ve ever seen Celebrimbor quite so close to spending in his breeches before.”

Poor Brimby, I mean, who wouldn't when faced with Annatar appearing out of the smoke 😂 he got me good, never mind anyone actually standing close to him 😂

“Not even the Maker himself is above admiring true beauty,” he says, lifting your chin with a gentle knuckle as his thumb brushes your bottom lip. “And you, my lady, are the most exquisite of his creations.”

The way I would die??? The way I did die just reading this??

The most skilled of Elven artists could not capture the exquisite painting which graces your roving eyes. ‘Perfect’ doesn’t begin to describe him—not that you ever regard him as anything less. But in this specific form, he is the very picture of Elven beauty and grace, likely to enchant the eye of most, if not all beings of your kind.

Oh lord oh my god he is gorgeous and the picture you paint of him is sublime, I'm in love??

He is much smoother than Halbrand was. The hair on his body is less evident, as light in color as the blond tresses framing his face and not as coarse to the touch, you determine whilst trailing your fingers down his arm, shoulder to wrist. He is no doubt appealing, but you had been quite fond of the dark smattering of hair on Halbrand’s chest, and will surely miss the equally dark trail leading the tantalizing way between his navel and cock.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE WAY I DIED

Halbrand my beloved, your chest hair is immortal and beyond compare

You look up at your husband, standing above you in all his glory, the light of candles catching in his fair tresses in an ethereal halo. Yet most disarming are the pitch black depths of his eyes, trained onto you with devastating intensity.

What an absolutely gorgeous juxtaposition, I love this image so much!!!

“Well, my lady?” His tongue curls around the respectful title in such a way, it somehow sounds degrading. He tilts your chin even further back with a firm knuckle. “How is it that you worship your gods?”

I yelled!! Yes we love both, let him do both, worship and degrade us, why am I so feral for this??

You are free to surrender yourself to him, and few things make you feel so powerful as his craving to be adored by you.

Hell yes hell yes hell yes it's the craving for me!!! He loves the attention, needs her like air, godddd it's perfect

“I have one god, and one alone,” you murmur, holding his gaze as you embrace his legs, clinging to the flesh just below his buttocks and striving to look up despite the angle at which you then bend. “I kneel only to him,” you lay a kiss above one knee, “I worship only at his feet,” then the other.  “I would kill for him,” you kiss him mid-thigh on one leg, “I would die for him,” then the other. “I would live,” you place a kiss right to the side of his cock, “through endless torment,” as well as the other side, “only for him.” You rise on your knees slightly, and press your lips below his navel, pleading with your eyes. For what, it matters not. For anything he might give.

Holy mother of divine sweet jesus, I cannot tell you how much I love this, I died, I was reborn, I died again

The growl which leaves your husband’s throat is more wild beast than Elf. [...] He wants in.

“Show me,” he commands, his tip nudging at your quivering lips. “Show me how you adore me.”

I YELLED

Bestial Sauron, losing his damn mind, "show me how much you adore me", I am so feral for this adoring husband you write so well, he is sublime

You wish he would reward your efforts with the groans and gasps you know he keeps lodged within his throat. You want to rip them out with your teeth, if need be.

YASSSSSSSSS

“Such beauty,” he muses gruffly, catching your tear with a gentle thumb even as he keeps thrusting. “Such ruin.”

God this is gorgeous, "such ruin"???? He loves it, she loves it, they're both so unwell for each other, you can feel just how perfect they are for each other with each tiny look, action, piece of dialogue 🙌👌🤌👏

His mind nudges at yours, such a stark contrast between the immaterial caress and his ruthless handling of you. The answer he seeks is written in your eyes, your mind, the same message ringing out over and over from every corner of your being: Grip me, keep me, ruin me. Spill in my mouth. Fill it with your taste. Give me everything.

THIS

THIS ENDED ME, I AM ACTUALLY DEAD NOW

He looks for her consent and finds nothing wanting, she's right there with him, and the contrast between his roughness and gentleness is sending me

“My love,” he breathes out, the lust in his gaze having melted into something akin to awe. “Oh, my love. How desperately you crave my pleasure.” His chest begins to heave, eyes growing feral with fresh hunger. “As I crave yours.”

🙌👌🤌👏🙌👌🤌👏🙌👌🤌👏

Even in the heat of your smuttiest scenes, there is such gorgeous emotion, idk how you do it, sublime

Oh, the audacious little arse of a Maia (whom you would not have any other way).

Pfffffft the way I cackled, he really is 😂😂😂

And what a wonderous view indeed. From here, he is laid out below you like a grand feast, offering to the pleasure of your eye every little twitch of the muscles in his neck and abdomen as you give his length a few preparatory pumps. His hair is splayed out on your pillow in fair waves, like the halo of the divine being he now claims to be. You can nearly see why Morgoth had so wished to corrupt him, when he truly was a being of pure light. Though in Morgoth’s place, you would never have been so foolish as to fail in cherishing Mairon’s loyalty like the most precious gift that it was. In Morgoth’s place, you’d have punished your beloved servant with nothing but the most wicked of pleasures, and rewarded his terrible feats in your name with a throne beside yours and a crown placed upon his splendid head.

This whole paragraph is sublime, what a feast indeed, the image of him is so beautiful, and imagining herself in Morgoth's place?? he deserves to be rewarded, let's reward him 😍🥵

“Good.” Your husband’s smile drips with pride. “I made it for you.”

It takes a moment for the meaning of his words to sink in. He has made this form, having fully recovered his ability to deliberately choose the shape and size of each part of himself, and—

“Oh,” you let out, your face crumpling with adoration as you melt on the inside. “You’ve gone through such trouble…”

SHUT UP I LOVE IT, OF COURSE HE MADE HIMSRLF IN AN IMAGE SHE WOULD ADORE, HIS FLESH TO FIT HERS, I AM DYING

“No trouble at all, my love,” he says, hands roaming over your thighs. “I made each part of myself to suit my purpose. I desire no offspring, and have no bodily needs apart from those awakened by my wife. So, you see, the sole purpose of my cock... is to pleasure you. Us.” He brings your hand to his lips, the kiss he presses to your knuckles as reverent as though he were greeting you in the midst of an elegant ballroom rather than naked in your bed, buried inside you to the hilt. “I worship only at the feet of my goddess as well.”

Um okay????? Fuck I'm running out of new things to say but I need you to know how much I adored this whole section, they're so mad for each other my heart hurts

“All the heart I have left is yours,” he says in a ragged breath, nails digging into your shoulderblades. “Yours, always yours.”

Fuck me??? "All the heart I have left is yours"???? Amazing, stunning, breathtaking

...as though you mean to cage him within you for the rest of all time, and what a tempting prospect that is.

THE TEMPTATION YES PLEASE

“I was ill,” you murmur suddenly, cheek still pressed to his heart. [...]

This whole next section where she describes her fantasy/illusion/dream, which I love btw, like her brain has to fill in the gap he's left to stay remotely sane, anyway the whole thing was so beautifully written it hurt my heart, but the end where she tells him it was wrong, it felt so right. Of course this isn't their love story, they were forged in flames and darkness and this fairytale doesn't suit them (I love it anyway idc)

It's like "in another life I'd have been happy to do laundry with you" but this is where they were meant to be and they relish in it.

“But I would have delighted in wearing something as simple as a bracelet made of grassblades, had I known them to have been entwined by your hands."

I have a very special fondness for this line, he doesn't need his forge to make her beautiful things, and she doesn't need the finest jewels from him to want to wear them, my heart!!!!

“I was not as you described, indeed,” he murmurs in the end. “Even with my original... disposition, I’d not have hesitated to make my desire known, should I have had any such inclinations towards another. I have always hated a waste of good resources—time is no exception.”

YES KING GO CLAIM YOUR QUEEN IN ANY TIMELINE HELL YEAAAH

“...whether you were to return in a day or a century. Or several,” you add quietly, holding onto your husband just that little bit tighter. His forehead creases with the same deep ache in your chest as he nudges your nose with his.

Ooooof it's the yearning for me!!! The separation doing nothing but bringing them closer together!!

“I’d have made my desire for you known,” he repeats his earlier words in your ear, hushed but fervent, “and I’d never have bowed before Morgoth. For no promise of power could have swayed me to risk your safety. And we’d have stayed servants of the Valar, pure and obedient. It is only as we are now, my love, that we shall be masters of our own fate, and rule above all others.”

YESSSSSSS ALL THE POWER IN THE WORLD BUT HER SAFETY WOULD BE PARAMOUNT, YESSSSS

As you drift to sleep, you swear your husband’s caress holds the ghost of a tender petal brushing your skin.

Oh my lord this did me in, absolutely sublime, yes queen give us everything 👏🤌👌🙌

Danielle I am in awe, this was amazing, your best yet for sure 💜💜💜

As we are now (Sauron x fem!Elf!reader)

-> in which you explore your husband’s new form, and it leads to you breaching a rather delicate subject

Warnings: evil!reader, smut, oral (Sauron receiving, he gets rough but reader is completely on board with it), p in v, dom!Sauron but it’s kind of back and forth, reader and Sauron being deep in denial about their desire for a bit of normalcy

Note: part of the evil!reader collection. If you’re new, reader has been married to Sauron since before Adar’s betrayal and infiltrated herself as a smith of Eregion, where she awaited her husband’s return.

Mature content below the cut - minors DNI!!!

You burst into delighted laughter the moment you are in the privacy of your own chamber. The light, the smoke, the speech, the look—be still your black little heart and your poor loins, the look.

It was a good thing you had worked as closely as you did with Celebrimbor and so-called Halbrand before your husband had been forced to leave Eregion, for the Elven Rings were in great part your achievement as well, and so Celebrimbor had deemed that you had just as much right to learn what had become of them upon Halbrand’s return. It was also a good thing you were standing behind Celebrimbor, and that he was entirely enraptured with your husband’s divine appearance as ‘Annatar’ made his grand entrance, because the hand with which you had covered your grin could hardly conceal the shameless glee in your eyes.

To see his deceit at work is always a joy. But even greater is the delight of knowing he shall join you in your chamber shortly, just as soon as he is finished entertaining the awe-struck Celebrimbor for the night. You stand at your window, hoping your wait will not be long. You haven’t had the chance to be alone with your husband since he had returned to Eregion, and somehow the last moments before the promise of reunion always feel like the longest.

He moves within the shadows, as quietly as them. You do not need to hear the opening and closing or your door, or even the steps approaching you, to know that he is there, even before arms snake around your waist from behind and lips press to your neck. You chuckle, leaning into your husband.

“A messenger of the Valar. A being of pure light, sent to unlock his grandest abilities.” You turn around in his arms, and wrap yours around his neck, grinning. “I don’t believe I’ve ever seen Celebrimbor quite so close to spending in his breeches before.”

“How crudely you speak of your dear friend,” your husband pretends to admonish, amusement dancing in his eyes. “Can you fault a poor Elf for falling to his knees in the face of his greatest desires coming true?”

“Fault him? Of course not.” You lower your voice to a sensual purr, leaning in so that your breath warms his lips as you speak. “In fact, if I were him, I’d have done far more than kneel.” You shrug. “Or tried, at the very least. Surely, an emissary of the Valar is above such worldly temptations.”

His lips are only a moment too slow to catch your teasing ones. You nimbly slip from his hold and walk past him—to no destination whatsoever, for you know you are to be caught nearly at once and relish the short anticipation. You still give a small yelp when he catches your wrist and spins you around, pulling you flush against him. There’s hunger in his eyes, and playfulness, as he secures your waist into a hold not so easily escapable as the last.

“Not even the Maker himself is above admiring true beauty,” he says, lifting your chin with a gentle knuckle as his thumb brushes your bottom lip. “And you, my lady, are the most exquisite of his creations.”

He can pay you a thousand compliments, and you would still swoon each and every time. On the inside, at the very least, for at the moment you simply remove his hand from your mouth.

“Is that all you wish? To admire me?” you tease still, ignoring the impatient tick in your husband’s jaw. “It would be such a pity if the Lord of Gifts did not receive some form of gratitude in return for the blessings he carries. Does one as pure as you even know of what I speak?”

You hold his gaze as you catch the tip of his thumb between your teeth, giving the pad the lightest lick. Your husband’s throat bobs as he watches.

“Do enlighten me,” he rasps out.

And you fully intend to. His lips are so plump and tempting, close enough that you can all but taste them. You haven’t kissed your husband since before he left for Adar’s camp in Mordor, an obscenely long amount of time already.

“With pleasure,” you whisper—close, so close to giving you both the meeting of lips you so crave...

Not quite.

You push his chest, just enough for him to let you take a step backward with a frustrated little breath. His eyes hold a glint of warning, hunger that might just surface to end your little game if you push it a smidge too far over the edge. But in the end, you like to play, and he likes to indulge you. And it isn’t as though you are dallying about as you slide his outer robe off his shoulders and down his arms. In fact, you are quite unceremoniously hasty, and so your husband straightens his arms by his sides, letting the fabric fall to the floor in a graceless heap around his feet.

Now, for the grey robe beneath, covering him from neck to ankle, humbly adorned with only a simple pattern along the collar... you could, in theory, remove it the old-fashioned way. But you don’t feel particularly inclined to go through the hassle of lifting all that material over his head, and something wild is stirring in your chest, and it’s in your nature, after all, to do things just because.

You produce a dagger from a concealed pocket of your dress, grab your husband’s collar, hook the blade into it and rip! goes the dull fabric with a yank of your hand. Down to his waist the destruction continues, tear after tear as you pull the material away from his body so as not to nick the skin you so greedily reveal with the slashes of your blade.

He does not flinch once, save for a coy lift at the corner of his lips as you toss away the dagger and relieve him of the ruined garb, adding it to the pile of crumpled fabric on the floor. You pay it no more mind than you do his now bare torso, determined to admire him in all his splendor when you finally take him in, head to toe.

“You speak of giving something in return,” he remarks quite casually as your hands next reach straight for the fastenings of his trousers, “yet all you seem to do is take—the very clothes off my back, no less.”

You smirk up at him. “Well, I should like to lay my eyes upon the gift for which I am to repay you first.”

You pull his trousers down in one quick move, proudly stripping him of the last shred of divine decency with which he had clad himself for Celebrimbor’s benefit. He cooperates smoothly as you crouch to yank the pants off his legs one by one, then toss his modest footwear to the side as well, and when you rise back to your full height, your husband stands before you with not a stitch on him.

The most skilled of Elven artists could not capture the exquisite painting which graces your roving eyes. ‘Perfect’ doesn’t begin to describe him—not that you ever regard him as anything less. But in this specific form, he is the very picture of Elven beauty and grace, likely to enchant the eye of most, if not all beings of your kind.

He is much smoother than Halbrand was. The hair on his body is less evident, as light in color as the blond tresses framing his face and not as coarse to the touch, you determine whilst trailing your fingers down his arm, shoulder to wrist. He is no doubt appealing, but you had been quite fond of the dark smattering of hair on Halbrand’s chest, and will surely miss the equally dark trail leading the tantalizing way between his navel and cock.

Speaking of which—that part of him is as glorious as ever, and already quite visibly eager. It would require but a graze of your fingers to grow into his full hardness. But you purposefully avoid that particular bit of enticing flesh as your fingers next trace a delicate line up his thigh, taking a detour along his hip instead. You let your nails scrape his skin ever so slightly as they venture higher, feeling his firm abdomen twitch faintly beneath your touch. He is sculpted with perfect balance, the lines of his muscles painting a stunning picture of bodily strength without too dramatic of a bulk, still allowing for elegance. Your fingers ascend to his chest, traveling across its alluring plane, and come to graze one nipple, earning a hitch in your husband’s breath. Otherwise, he stands perfectly still, subjecting himself to your quiet exploration.

You circle him slowly, your touch uninterrupted as your fingers trace his skin on a path to his shoulder blades. In the meantime, you release his newly long hair from the silver headpiece he had given himself, letting it fall onto the heap of clothes on the floor. You come to a halt facing his back, as beautifully muscled as the front, and—for the love of the Valar you have forsaken, there is nothing objectively different about the shape of his buttocks, but you swear they have grown even more enticing than before. You give one an appreciative caress, fingers following the plump curve of flesh between his upper thigh and lower back, before giving it a most satisfying squeeze.

Your husband releases a short huff of a chuckle. You press yourself against him, still groping his behind as you brush his hair over his shoulder to press a kiss to the top of his spine.

“I find myself in quite the predicament, I’m afraid,” you murmur into his skin. “So exquisite is the gift, I cannot imagine how I am to pay in kind.”

“A gift, by definition, is not paid,” your husband says, giving you a pointed look over his shoulder. “But you may begin by putting an end to this teasing.”

You grin, giving his behind a sharp pinch with just a bit of nail scratch. That finally earns you an undignified gasp from his throat, followed by a scolding tsk as you turn him around by the shoulders.

“I am merely beholding your ‘natural form’, my lord,” you mock Celebrimbor’s earlier words, caressing your husband’s face and chest as you meet his scalding gaze with your sensuous one. “So I may know how best to worship it.”

You all but lunge forward to catch his lips, finally, after the wait of separation as well as your self-imposed delay—

A large hand clamps around your neck. It is your husband, now, who keeps you at bay, lips hovering one tantalizing inch above yours as he grouses, “I believe you mentioned something about kneeling.”

He pushes down on your shoulders with just enough force that you gasp as your knees bend, dropping to the floor at once. He might as well have reached down your throat and ripped the breath from your lungs with his fingers. You look up at your husband, standing above you in all his glory, the light of candles catching in his fair tresses in an ethereal halo. Yet most disarming are the pitch black depths of his eyes, trained onto you with devastating intensity.

“Well, my lady?” His tongue curls around the respectful title in such a way, it somehow sounds degrading. He tilts your chin even further back with a firm knuckle. “How is it that you worship your gods?”

You swallow nothing at all, eyelids fluttering as you stare upwards like a believer at prayer. He does this sometimes, playing along until he doesn’t, flipping the tables and taking charge in the blink of an eye. It almost feels like a physical stroke of your clit, creamy arousal gushing from your core in an instant.

It’s such a slippery slope. The submission. The rawness of it. You’ve both known what it was to be at the mercy of another before, one who had no such thing as mercy. But you do not despair, and you are not afraid. For this is not Morgoth, nor are you a slave. You are free to surrender yourself to him, and few things make you feel so powerful as his craving to be adored by you.

“I have one god, and one alone,” you murmur, holding his gaze as you embrace his legs, clinging to the flesh just below his buttocks and striving to look up despite the angle at which you then bend. “I kneel only to him,” you lay a kiss above one knee, “I worship only at his feet,” then the other.  “I would kill for him,” you kiss him mid-thigh on one leg, “I would die for him,” then the other. “I would live,” you place a kiss right to the side of his cock, “through endless torment,” as well as the other side, “only for him.” You rise on your knees slightly, and press your lips below his navel, pleading with your eyes. For what, it matters not. For anything he might give.

The growl which leaves your husband’s throat is more wild beast than Elf. He takes in his fists your hair and his own hard length, keeping you where he wants as he drags the tip of his cock from the base of your neck to your chin, as though splitting the skin upon the blade of his desire. Arousal smears a trail up your throat. He wants in.

“Show me,” he commands, his tip nudging at your quivering lips. “Show me how you adore me.”

As if you had not already. As if you do not always. But you are beyond glad to remind him. Your tongue darts past your lips to give the slit a sole lick. As he releases his cock to plant his hand onto your shoulder instead, you take hold of his length yourself to flatten it against his stomach. You spare a moment to admire it, so promisingly full and flushed with want, then press your lips to the underside, right at the base, and work your way to the tip with a string of doting kisses. How you love this most sensitive part of him, and cherish each and every twitch with which it responds to your affections.

His hands tense impatiently on your head and shoulder, but he needs not handle you into further action as you finally take his cockhead in your mouth, sucking gently. Then firmly, and over again, until you’re truly fucking him with your mouth, your hand working in tandem to cover the length you cannot swallow with each bob of your head.

The crease in his brow betrays his pleasure, though he stands above you tall and stoic as ever. Even when you swirl your tongue around his tip the way you know drives him wild, even when you reach underneath to fondle the sensitive sack at the base of his manhood. You wish he would reward your efforts with the groans and gasps you know he keeps lodged within his throat. You want to rip them out with your teeth, if need be. And so you take him deep, as deep as he can go inside your throat, all while piercing him with your wanton gaze.

Your husband curses. His fist in your hair tightens, tugs at the roots with just enough force that it stings most deliciously. Control is ripped from you once more as he drives his cock into your throat at his own merciless pace, and if you could, you would smile at your victory in breaking his composure. You grab hold of his buttocks, nails digging into the soft flesh as he buries himself in your mouth, over and over. You’ve gathered more than enough skill over your years together to withstand such an act whilst still drawing some air into your lungs, even if only the barest minimum. Still, a tear slides down your cheek, and you groan around his length, knowing the sound will only add to his pleasure.

“Such beauty,” he muses gruffly, catching your tear with a gentle thumb even as he keeps thrusting. “Such ruin.”

His mind nudges at yours, such a stark contrast between the immaterial caress and his ruthless handling of you. The answer he seeks is written in your eyes, your mind, the same message ringing out over and over from every corner of your being: Grip me, keep me, ruin me. Spill in my mouth. Fill it with your taste. Give me everything.

The enormity of your need for his pleasure is what does him in. He doesn’t stifle, doesn’t deny you the sound of his wrecked groan as he ceases upon a final thrust, cock shoved so deep down your throat that your nose is buried in the fair curls at his base. You shut your eyes as he spills and spills, relishing the throbbing of his flesh on your tongue and the essence of him gliding down your throat. Breathing can wait. Not forever, but for a while.

Your husband, of course, allows it long before you’d have truly struggled. But you still pant for breath the moment he pulls out, and your forehead drops to his thigh as you wipe the mess left on your chin. Not a moment later, your husband tilts your head back, demanding your misty eyes to meet his.

“My love,” he breathes out, the lust in his gaze having melted into something akin to awe. “Oh, my love. How desperately you crave my pleasure.” His chest begins to heave, eyes growing feral with fresh hunger. “As I crave yours.”

He bends down, grabs your waist and hoists you from the ground straight into his arms, at last claiming your lips as you wrap your legs around him with an elated moan. It is as though his end did nothing but spur him into wishing for another, this time whilst buried in your depths. Barely a moment later, he lays you down on your bed, his bare body pressing your clothed one into the mattress. His hips are already nestled between your legs, grinding relentlessly as you write and whine beneath his ravenous kisses of your mouth, then of any bare inch he finds of your neck and chest.

He fists his hands in the shoulders of your dress, and he needs no blade to rip the fabric down your chest unceremoniously. You gasp, mildly indignated—you had been rather fond of that piece. But the sacrifice is well worth it for the unbridled desire on his face as he admires your bare breasts, as though it were his first time seeing them. “This is all I could think of,” he rasps out, “whilst I stood waiting at the gate. What I would do once I could finally touch my wife’s skin, her flesh...” He kneads one breast, staring in marvel as that wonderfully pliant part of you yields beneath his fingers, “This lovely, soft flesh of yours. Look how it calls to me.”

His thumb swipes over one pebbled nipple, indeed straining upward as though reaching for your husband’s touch, just before he descends upon it with the heat of his mouth.

“Yes,” you moan, arching into him greedily. “But my flesh has remained unchanged... for centuries,” you strive to argue as his tongue lavishes that most sensitive peak, teeth tugging in a mean tease at the flesh around it. “Tonight,” you gather your resolve, “I was supposed... to be exploring... you!”

With a great push on that last word, you flip him onto his back. Your husband lets loose a wicked laugh as his head hits the pillow and you roll on top of him, panting.

“It is hardly my fault that you are so easily distracted.” He grins up at you without an ounce of shame. Oh, the audacious little arse of a Maia (whom you would not have any other way).

“As if you are any better,” you retort, and swiftly prove yourself right. You dive much like a vulture aiming to snatch its prey, one hand sinking in his hair as you catch the brand new pointed tip of his ear between your teeth and tug, hard. Your husband gives a sharp grunt, hands flying to grip your hips.

“Hm, I’ve missed these,” you say, suckling at the tender skin as if to soothe the sting you purposely inflicted whilst your husband groans beneath you. “Remember when I made you spill simply from biting them?”

“A most admirable feat,” he growls, “for which I have not the patience at the moment.”

He means to lift his torso off the bed, but you hold him down with a firm hand pressed to his chest. “Ah-ah,” you shake your head, slowly rising to sit up astride him. “I wish to stay right here,” you say, gathering the skirts of your dress pooling over his crotch to help yourself to his newly straining erection, “and admire the view.”

And what a wonderous view indeed. From here, he is laid out below you like a grand feast, offering to the pleasure of your eye every little twitch of the muscles in his neck and abdomen as you give his length a few preparatory pumps. His hair is splayed out on your pillow in fair waves, like the halo of the divine being he now claims to be. You can nearly see why Morgoth had so wished to corrupt him, when he truly was a being of pure light. Though in Morgoth’s place, you would never have been so foolish as to fail in cherishing Mairon’s loyalty like the most precious gift that it was. In Morgoth’s place, you’d have punished your beloved servant with nothing but the most wicked of pleasures, and rewarded his terrible feats in your name with a throne beside yours and a crown placed upon his splendid head.

“Admire?” your husband raises a coy eyebrow, even as he throbs in your fist. “I thought you wished to reward me for my generosity,” he reminds you of the little game you had been playing at the beginning. You are no mighty Vala who can offer him everything he has ever craved on a silver platter, but you need not be, when you are what he needs most desperately.

“What better reward than this?” you smile, and sink onto his length in one swift move, pulling a moan from yourself and a brisk curse in Black Speech from him. Having engulfed him to the hilt, you plant your hands onto his chest, savoring the divine stretch. 

“How does it fit, my love?” your husband asks, thrusting up ever so slightly.

“It’s perfect,” you moan. “So... so perfect.” As always, but you can’t deny you’ve landed at an angle which hits especially right, even before you’re begun to truly ride him.

“Good.” Your husband’s smile drips with pride. “I made it for you.”

It takes a moment for the meaning of his words to sink in. He has made this form, having fully recovered his ability to deliberately choose the shape and size of each part of himself, and—

“Oh,” you let out, your face crumpling with adoration as you melt on the inside. “You’ve gone through such trouble…”

You say it with false modesty, though this is barely a fraction of the lengths to which he had gone for you in the past, as well as barely a necessity. Even a shaft as inauspicious as the handle of a hammer could become an instrument of your pleasure in your husband’s hands, if it were wielded with his incomparable skill and intimate knowledge of your flesh. But whilst form alone is not everything, there is such a thing as a more or less natural fit for any given body. And this particular appendage with which your husband has endowed himself… the length and girth, every vein, every ridge, is specifically tailored to suit your needs. To stretch you perfectly, just on the right side of the light burn he knows you relish without causing you real pain, to rub and press exquisitely against your walls in all the sweetest ways and spots he knows by heart that you would most enjoy.

“No trouble at all, my love,” he says, hands roaming over your thighs. “I made each part of myself to suit my purpose. I desire no offspring, and have no bodily needs apart from those awakened by my wife. So, you see, the sole purpose of my cock... is to pleasure you. Us.” He brings your hand to his lips, the kiss he presses to your knuckles as reverent as though he were greeting you in the midst of an elegant ballroom rather than naked in your bed, buried inside you to the hilt. “I worship only at the feet of my goddess as well.”

He says it like a vow. This time, when he rises from the mattress to gather you close, closer, you make not the slightest move to stop him—distracted again. But you are beyond caring. Beyond teasing games. There is no slow seduction, no calculated rhythm to the manner in which you begin to move, hips rolling frantically into your husband’s.

“Yes, my love,” he urges fervently. “Take what you need.”

As you do, he makes quick work to relieve you of the remnants of your dress, jaw clenched as your heat swallows him over and again in its velvety depths. He pulls and tears at the fabric, throws it away as if it were standing between him and the healing of Middle-Earth itself, and his wife is at last bared atop him, bouncing prettily on his cock.

“Nothing beneath,” he remarks, a most delicious reprimand as he gropes at your waist, urging you in your movements. “Is such the custom among the ladies of Eregion these days?”

A short laugh finds its way through the string of gasps and moans that leave your throat. “I’ve not worn undergarments since you arrived at the gate.”

“Of course not,” he purrs, the twisted pride in his gaze going straight to the onslaught of pleasure already between your legs. “My beautiful wife, waiting for me with open arms and a bare cunt. Soaked the moment you laid eyes upon me, were you not?”

All the answer he gets is a pitiful whine, and your lips sloppily catching his in a needy kiss. Seated in his lap, with your arm wrapped around his shoulders and your hand sunk into his hair, you are in control over the pace of your thrusts as well as utterly helpless with adoration. He holds you in the circle of his arms so fiercely, tears gather at the corner of your eyes as you pull away to take in your beloved’s expression. His beautiful lips, slightly parted in pleasure. His eyes, darkened to near slits with unbridled desire for you. Only for you.

“I love you,” you all but sob, your hips clashing into his so ruthlessly, you would fear for the anatomy of any lesser being of male form subjected to such treatment. Your mind is as frantic as the tempest in your core, on the verge of unraveling. “I love you, I love you so much—”

“All the heart I have left is yours,” he says in a ragged breath, nails digging into your shoulderblades. “Yours, always yours.”

If that wasn’t enough, the heat of his seed filling you to the brim does you in. Your peak has you clenching around your husband’s throbbing cock as though you mean to cage him within you for the rest of all time, and what a tempting prospect that is.

You slack against him, breathing heavily into his neck. Incoherent fragments of endearments leave your lips, but not even you can tell what you are saying. Your husband cradles your head, shushing you softly through the aftershocks of your release, and lies back against the pillows with you securely in his arms. You hum tiredly as he pulls out, and use the little strength left in your limbs to shift downward so that you may rest your head on your husband’s chest. He needs no heartbeat, but it soothes you to feel it beneath your cheek, strong and slowly settling down after the wonderful exertion through which you had put his form.

“I take it, then,” he says into the blissful silence that has fallen between you, “that my new visage is to your liking.”

You give a soft, tired laugh. Lifting yourself enough that you can gaze down at your husband’s face, you cup his cheek with an adoring smile.

“I liked you rough around the edges, imperfectly human,” you murmur, fingertips grazing the fine lines at the corner of his eye. “I like you smooth and pristine, descended from a great cloud of golden light. I like this face as well as any other, so long as I am looking in my beloved’s eyes.” You press a short kiss to his smiling lips. “It does not hurt, of course, that he tends to be unbearably fair.”

A small chuckle rumbles from his chest to yours. “I do try. But I admit I wonder,” he goes on, growing thoughtful, “now that I am able to change at will once more... whether you would prefer me as I was.”

His question gives you pause, your brow knitting slightly. He does not find such a prospect hurtful, you feel, but he is rather curious to know the answer.

“Would you prefer me as I was?” you ask in turn. “If I were... changed somehow, as you have been?”

His eyes caress your face as his knuckles graze your cheekbone, deeply tender. “I cannot say I would not mourn, if only for a while, the exact arrangement of lines and curves which shaped your form when I first held you in my arms,” he confesses, soft-spoken. “But I would prefer my beloved as she wishes to be.”

Many times, he has been loving to you, but there is a particular flavour to the moments when he is so plainly… sweet. His words move you in a way that makes you feel oddly fragile, sending your heart aflutter as only a being much younger and less scarred than you might be able to feel. You lay your head on your husband’s chest, closing your eyes to savour the sentiment. Yet, as his fingers graze your skin in loving patterns, a trace of old sorrow creeps into your heart. How lucky you are to be lying in your husband’s arms, discussing whether you would prefer one face over another, when you had once wondered how many Ages would have to pass before you could finally be at each other’s side once more.

“I was ill,” you murmur suddenly, cheek still pressed to his heart. “When they took you. For a long time. Ill of mind. As though part of it had shattered and the splinters kept shredding at what little was left of it. I began to... slip, between reality and waking dreams that felt so real, I could no longer tell the difference. At times, I was grateful for it. Because in the ruins of my mind, you had returned to me with a crown upon your head, and you took me in your arms and I was whole again, if only until the fiction fell apart and left me even more bereft than I had been before. Sometimes, I fell into memories, reliving Morgoth’s torments as though they had never ended, but even within those I longed to remain forever. For there, you were with me, and no pain could compare to that of being without you. But once... once, I lived not the past I craved, nor the one that had come to pass. I was... someone else. Someone I had been before Morgoth. And so were you. In fact... there had never been a Morgoth.”

The hand with which your husband was caressing your hair comes to a hesitant halt. You feel him tense, in body and in mind, feel his disquiet upon hearing such words. But he remains silent, and allows you to gather his hand in your own.

“It came to me in glimpses, moments over time, strung together into one story,” your voice is soft in a foreign way as you begin the tale, your fingers idly playing with his before your far away eyes. “What I first felt was light—the light of the Trees, warm upon my face. The skies of Valinor, clear abovehead, the soft grass grazing my bare feet where I sat by the creek. I was… singing. A song of my own making which I cannot remember, and which I am not sure I ever truly knew. But it was cut short, for I was startled by a sudden presence. Rising in haste to my feet, I turned to find the mightiest of the Maiar of Aulë himself standing only a few paces out of reach, his beautiful face awed as well as a touch apologetic. You had not meant to disturb my peace. But so enchanting you had found my voice as you were passing by, you said, that you wished to capture it in one of your creations.

“And so, at your invitation, I began to visit the great forge where the wonders of your mind were brought into being. I was so… shy, I barely dared to address you. But there was such peace in the silences we shared, such ease, that even though we were near perfect strangers, I felt as though we had already spoken every word in the world, and nothing remained to be said of our existence which we had yet to confess to one another most openly.

“You asked me to sing as you shaped metal, as you gave form to wondrous gems. And when I did, you looked at me as though I were the most precious being to have ever breathed in the light of the One. At times, you would forget yourself, and whilst precious materials awaited to be shaped before you, your hands would find mine instead. And they were able to do so with ease, for the more times I joined you in your forge, the closer together we stood.

“But you would not tell me what it was that you meant to craft, shrouding the work of your hands, somehow, from my eyes, even when I looked closely. Only because I let you, though. I knew I could look past the illusion and peek at any moment, but I made a game of it—trying to guess in what manner of adornment you meant to capture my voice. And each time I returned, you would gift me the very jewel I had last guessed, whether wrongly or not. Not the creation you meant to achieve in the end, but lesser ones crafted in my absence, during uninterrupted hours of toil. ‘Lesser’ being but a manner of comparison, for they were the most exquisite I had ever laid eyes upon. But I would have delighted in wearing something as simple as a bracelet made of grassblades, had I known them to have been entwined by your hands.

“On the day your work was finished, my heart was filled with such sorrow thinking our hours together might come to an end. For however plainly our eyes and joined hands had spoken of our feelings, such was my timid nature that I had never dared voice them, and you had never risked bringing offence to my virtue by speaking of yours. Not until you had completed your work, and you finally revealed to me what your end had been from the very beginning. It had not been one jewel you meant to craft, but two. Two splendid rings—neither of power, nor of symbolic importance to any but you and I. With your gifts, you had woven my voice into the gems, and in a way impossible to capture into words, the light reflected upon it shone with the echo of my song. Only then, as you placed one of the pair into my hands, did you confess that you had loved me since the moment you had first heard my voice, and your greatest desire would be for those twin jewels to become the symbols of devotion with which we become wed. Nevertheless, were it not my wish to bind myself to you, the other ring would be mine, to gift, if I should like, to the most fortunate being with whom I would choose to share my soul, whilst you would content yourself to love me from afar, and wish me nothing but the greatest of joy for so long as existence should be. At once I confessed that such a thought was not only absurd, but also too painful to bear—for my heart had been yours since the moment I had laid eyes upon you.

“And so we wed in song and merriment, and we danced under the radiant branches of the Trees, celebrated by your kin and mine alike. We made love in a meadow, soft and slow, and for hours you caressed my skin with petals yielded by a blossom tree in honor of our union. Even that act of passion was somehow so clean. So pure. So...” you search for the right way to describe it, “...wrong.”

It’s as though a spell breaks upon that last, dissonant word. You roll off of your husband, settling onto your side to face him as he does the same. His expression is hard to read, some blend of unease and intrigue in the furrow of his brow.

“For the first time, when the fiction ended, I did not weep,” you tell him, your voice no longer dreamy, but returned to a more familiar fierceness. “For I knew not those beings I had seen. Devoid of purpose, endlessly demure. Light and songs, desire kept secret beneath bashful smiles,” you scoff. “I wanted back the husband that I loved, not some unrecognizable version of him wearing his face. Not some children’s story of infuriating innocence.” With a small shake of your head against the pillow, and a soft, mirthless chuckle, you shift closer into your husband’s arms, both of you adjusting so that you are embracing on your sides. “So, no, my love,” is the answer you ultimately give, “I do not wish for either of us to be anything but what we are, here and now, in body as well as spirit.”

Your husband only hums, deep in thought. He has not said a word since you began to speak, and the longer his silence stretches, the more you begin to wonder whether your confession has displeased him, somehow. Perhaps he does not wish to hear of this romantic scenario your mind had invented, despite its protagonist being but a different version of himself. Or perhaps...

You’ve rarely spoken of what came before. It is a surprise as well as a relief, then, when he does so without seeming too unsettled by the fact that you had alluded to his former self in the first place.

“I was not as you described, indeed,” he murmurs in the end. “Even with my original... disposition, I’d not have hesitated to make my desire known, should I have had any such inclinations towards another. I have always hated a waste of good resources—time is no exception.”

You smile slightly. You know that all too well.

“Nor was I some helpless maiden who shied away from the slightest of amorous attentions,” you assure him. “I doubt it, either way,” you shrug. “I can hardly remember.”

Elven memories do not dim. You do remember what your life before Morgoth was like, but the details of it—the faces, the words spoken, the feelings… those have long been tucked away in a deep corner of your mind, never to be spoken or thought of again. For what use was there to it? That life had been burned away, along with everything you used to be.

“Either way,” you go on, brushing off even the merest thought of that distant past, “it was but a dull fable, conjured by a broken mind. I healed soon after. Reminded myself why I needed to remain sane and strive to do all that I can towards our goal, whether you were to return in a day or a century. Or several,” you add quietly, holding onto your husband just that little bit tighter. His forehead creases with the same deep ache in your chest as he nudges your nose with his.

“Let us not dwell on the past, or things that never were,” he murmurs in his deep, comforting tone. “I am here. And I shall not leave your side again.”

There is still an oddly meditative lilt to his words, a certain sense of wistfulness that does not quite hold the same flavour as the longing you had felt so many times shared between you. But you make no attempt to pry at the sentiment with your mind. Especially as he closes the distance between your lips, kissing you with utmost gentleness.

The kiss deepens, lasts for ages, but remains achingly tender. Utterly disarming. Your legs intertwine, bringing your hips flush together in the tangle. His flesh finds yours, and before long you are joined. There is no power play, no teasing, not even the desperate, nearly pained gasps, wails or groans you so enjoy to wring from one another. Only every inch of him pressed against every inch of you, soft moans melting onto each other’s tongues, the languid pleasure of moving together to an end that envelops you in its warm embrace, leaving you trembling in your husband’s arms and him moaning your name like a most sacred prayer.

In its wake, you are beyond words. All you can do is bury your face in your husband’s chest as he holds you close still, his fingers drawing soft shapes on your skin.

“I’d have made my desire for you known,” he repeats his earlier words in your ear, hushed but fervent, “and I’d never have bowed before Morgoth. For no promise of power could have swayed me to risk your safety. And we’d have stayed servants of the Valar, pure and obedient. It is only as we are now, my love, that we shall be masters of our own fate, and rule above all others.”

You shut your eyes, nuzzle further into his neck, his words sending a shiver through your very soul. This life you have shared is not easy. Not pretty. But in the end, it shall be glorious, better than any other that you might have lived. Truly.

It has to be.

As you drift to sleep, you swear your husband’s caress holds the ghost of a tender petal brushing your skin.

Previous fic with same reader -> As one

Next fic with same reader -> A true gift

[divorcedfiddleford]

it is friday my dudes (little hearts added by @tazmiilly)

[soupbtch]

ummm. my fic is done.

[hekateinhell]

Just woke up and I'm thinking about this AU I've been tossing in my brain for over a year now thanks to a Maid Cafe AU prompt over @priapus-at-the-gate. This isn't really a proper maid cafe fic though, like Armand's working there but he uses it as a way to meet clients for fetish work.

I had the idea to structure it as a one-shot with five different sections, one section per client. So there's Marius on Mondays, Santino on Tuesdays, Lestat on Wednesdays, Louis on Thursdays, and Daniel on Fridays. And I wanted each guy to correspond to a couple specific kinks!

Marius: I don't know if Marius and Armand ever actually leave the cafe but Marius comes in every Monday and all he wants is a private room where he can perch Armand on his knee in that skimpy maid outfit and order the entire sweets menu and two jugs of milk and feed him like a child until his stomach is protruding and sloshing. Not sure whether or not they fuck (uncomfortably - for Armand) afterwards. Armand views this as feederism but to Marius it's caretaking, perhaps even age play--the verdict is still out.

Santino: I'm going to have to consult with the Santino girlies (gnc) on this one but I'm thinking something to with flagellation and sensory deprivation. Maybe even breath play. But I can't decide if I want Santino doing to Armand or Armand doing it to Santino.

Lestat: Lestat's the young, bratty, famous rockstar who walked into the cafe one day and without even knowing whether or not Armand was inclined to do fetish work, offered Armand an obscene amount of money to step on him and degrade him, amongst other stuff. There will also be crying and mommy kink. Maybe Lestat will cry for his mommy, idk yet.

Louis: Louis is a bit of an echo of Santino's deprivation kink but he's nowhere near as extreme. Louis prefers to edge himself and he'll never remove his clothes or let himself cum or even be touched, but he's one of two of the clients Armand would trust in his home, and Louis pays a pretty price to spend the day as a silent, passive observer in Armand's apartment. Watching him clean, see a movie, cook, shower, masturbate, and sleep. Never interacting with him or saying a word aside from a warm 'Hello' and 'Thank you, see you next week.'

Daniel: I wanna open with Daniel as being the guy who pays Armand to spend the day with him and pretend to be his boyfriend aka The Boyfriend Experience™️! They go on dates, they cuddle, they play video games, Armand meets Daniel's mom, they fuck, etc. BUT THEN at the end it's revealed that Daniel really is Armand's boyfriend. Sometimes he even fucks him in front of Louis.

[knightdykes]

🙃

[lem-argentum]

it took me until dt to change rudy's hairstyle, but i ACTUALLY think he would've cut it back in post-stb when he became a reaper. the trope of "character cuts hair to feel more in control of their life" is cliché but REAL. and also the visual of him cutting it with his scythe is fun

[criscura]

I wish I wasn't so exhausted and I could make more art.... I even planned out a whole prompt-a-day month for Saigenos/Genosai, TWICE, but the first time no one seemed like they could participate when I asked about it, and the second time I friggin lost the damned plan. I could remake it a third time, but I just....I don't know.

I've been really struggling to get along for a while, and I think if it didn't hit it off--or even if I just got really productive and it seemed like I was reaching crickets--I'd be so incredibly discouraged that it would bring me down even further. It usually takes my stuff a few months to a year to get reach, and that really doesn't do anything for me when I need the support immediately.

It's not that I don't have a billion ideas for so many different things, but my battery has been taking longer and longer to charge up and it's been running out faster and faster, and it's been like this for....a year?? Ish?? Maybe longer, I don't know.

I wish I could just stop needing so much fucking time to bounce back.....