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sl33py-day · 2 years

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Imposter AU with a twist Part 2!

Tw: Swearing, a bit of yandere Albedo, Your friend is a horrible person and gets slapped on the face with some Karma and Trauma.

A/n: I didn’t want to keep saying ‘Your friend’ so I named her Bethany and Beth. Also I feel like this blog is more of a crackfic blog since there’s barely any serious writing. But hey it’s fun to write. Someone wanted it and I hope I met the expectations

Day’s and weeks and a single month has passed since you descended to Teyvat from the bottomless pits of hell. People are still after your head, the pick me imposter still has not been visited by Karma, and you got a yandere, kinda. I’m saying kinda because Albedo is possessive of you and that’s all…..for now.

During the month of being in Minecraft survival mode some more characters believed you’re the OG creator. That and they just can’t handle your friend, who I shall name Bethany. Sorry to all Bethany’s but Imma steal your name real quick.

Diluc is a good example of not handling Bethany. He has told you that she would cry when a man, his brother and five other men, don’t pay attention to her. She would tell Childe to get her the most expensive gift and throw it away afterwards. He finds her annoying and one point he told you “If I had to choose between Kaeya and….the girl. I would choose Kaeya right away. That’s how annoying she is.”

Now here comes the fun part of this AU. The finding out that the imposter is the OG creator. Like I said the last part Karma is gonna slap her face sooner and later, well Karma not only slapped her but gave her the ultimate shoe slap, with a boot and high heel.

In the Imposter AU the only thing to tell from Imposter and Real apart was the golden child blood test thingy. There is one way where I feel like would be more funny and that is the ‘accident’ way.

The accident way is probably the most funniest way of people finding out that they fucked up. Imagine this, Your walking back to where ever the failed experiment is to give him the flowers he needed. But along the way your arm got scratched by a random branch. This y/n is clumsy they bump into things a lot and whenever they do they just rub off the pain until they or someone else tells them that they’re bleeding. So back to the branch thing, you got scratched by the lonely piece of wood and kept walking. Only to cross a certain traveler and they’re somehow flying food.

They cross paths, Aether doesn’t bother looking and has a place to be. Paimon on the other hand saw the gold shimmering blood and was like “Wait a MINUTE!”

“You there! Paimon has a very serious question!” Paimon yelled out but you kept on walking ignoring her as if she’s a ghost. That was until paimon told Aether and Aether is now chasing after you. Like I know I need my daily dose of adrenaline but why it gotta be like this?

While running Aether was yelling and Venti being the little shit he is heard it in the wind. Don’t ask me how that makes sense he’s the god of air. Now venti is in front of you and let’s skip a hour or two after.

Scratch that make one hour turn into 3 hours of no stop arguing. Not between you and the worshipers or overly simps but between you and Bethany.

Bethany Heard that people found you and wanted to see you uh turn the bye bye life light on. So she came in the most ugliest dress ever in the mind of y/n.

While being surrounded by the archons as they looked at you with disgust. You were on the ground with a sword against your neck. The archons believe that you put gold glitter on your arm to get the chance of stealing their graces spot? Does glitter even exist in Tevyat?

“You go to such lengths to steal our graces spotlight?!” Yelled Zhongli still having the pole arm against your neck. You are just sitting there on the floor slightly terrified because my god scary archons are more scarier then your mom.

“Sir, I didn’t even have a choice to look like that Beth Meth girl. It’s called Genes. GEN-NET-ICS.” You called out making everyone yell out insults. All of a sudden Bethany comes walking down as the people spread out like the sea. Everyone bowed and said praises.

“You really wearing that dress? It looks like something that Carella Deville would wear and honey that’s not necessarily a good thing” and that sent the lighter to the bomb.

“Well at least I have more things then you do. I would have an entire world after you are dead.” Beth’s sassy ass said as everyone is just wondering if you two know each other. Not only are you two fighting but Diluc and Aether are having to hold back Albedo so he doesn’t do….bad things.

Back to Beth with the meth fighting match. The light you started finally reached the bomb having Bethany spill everything she has done, on earth and Teyvat out loud. My god she did more stuff than you thought.

“You are always in the fucking way! Nothing I do to you ever works! I had to take money from you so your parents would hate you so you would feel shitty because of them. I spread rumors of you so people hated you. Hell I even practiced make up so people would believe you hit me!”

That’s not even the tip of the ice burg and yet many many people are in a state of shock that they are frozen in place. Oh and albedo? Ya Diluc and Aether are having a struggle. With the bomb being set off nothing is stopping Bethany to say anything and everything she has done to you. What are you doing? Letting her scream and yell since Karma is coming closer and closer.

“Then when I was Teleported here people said I was a god! They treated me better than you! I got the attention I wanted! No one was gonna try and steal the spotlight if they did I would just send someone to kill them. I have men at my fingertips so if someone insulted me or I found the person annoying I would send them to kill the person. Easy Peasy just make up a reason and they’ll do it.”

After she said that many people gasped and a few people yelled “Is that why my son/daughter went missing/were found dead?!” Yeah what a shocker now. The once looked up god is now the imposter and committed more crimes then the Fatui. She was about to say more but you stopped her.

“You did all that? Dear you’re worse than the American government and the Fatui combined. I’ll tell you why people were nice to me and not you.” You stood up with you hands behind your back. No one stopped you they wanted to see what would happen. “I’m genuinely nice to people and they do it back but some don’t. Take yourself for example, I was nice to you. I checked up on you everyday to make sure you where ok but you did all this instead.”

Bethany’s face was more redder then Diluc and a tomato together. She was furious that you came an ruined everything. She started to shout nonsense as you backed away slowly. She didn’t notice so she kept throwing insults after insults while you were all the way in the back with albedo.

Some hydro slimes and cryo slimes were walking around her as they were just doing Slime things. But one electro slime made a mistake of walking in front of her and, by accident or not, zapping her feet slightly. She let out a screech and hopped from one foot to another. Since the hydro slimes were walking around her they made the ground slightly wet. Thanks to the cryo slimes they made the slightly wet ground icy and slippery.

So while she was hopping she slipped on the ice. Fortunately or unfortunately you guys were by a cliff of some sort. I think you know what happened, she fell down but survived as the cliff wasn’t that high. So yay?

After she fell you stood there for a few minutes before saying “Ah, Karma did give her a punch in the face after all……But that seemed planed.” You looked at the slimes with a suspicious face. The hydro slime just turned around and walked away while the electro slime was like “oh this Leaf on the floor is so interesting wow” what is the cryo slime doing? Looking over the cliff where Bethany feel almost mocking her. “Haha bish you slipped” is what the cryo slime is probably thinking.

#Yandere genshin #yandere genshin x reader #yandere albedo #imposter sagau #Imposter AU #genshin impact sagau #Male reader #gender neutral reader #Karen #yandere SAGAU #Karma

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kyra45 · 6 months

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Yeah I'm jerk if you're going to be a jerk. I call scammers beggars because that's basically what they do in my opinion. You've been asked nicely for help and you got very defensive and offended that they didn't research them. That person looked up to you by the way, was trying to help catching scammers since we have to deal with them on a regular basis on many platforms and in reality. Wanted your opinion but once again she lost trust to people and thinks that she did something wrong. Well have fun on Tumblr guys and I hope that you stop as many scammers as you can

Funny how your mood changed real quick after calling me sketchy. Scammers aren’t beggars, you wasn’t calling them beggars. You was saying everyone asking for help is a beggar:

“And no I'm not reading blogs of every single beggar out there.”

Secondly, I was offended that you didn’t look at the OP of the post you likely saw to figure out was my own account which only posts verified charities and you, as quoted, asked me if i was butthurt:

“Damn you seem really butt hurt don't you? “

Lastly, you asked me to check if someone was a scammer and I told you, very simply:

“Anon did you even try to contact the person before asking me or did you see them share the post from my own blog. Because I only got this ask when someone shared their reblog from my other account and I personally feel like your just assuming it’s a scammer right off the bat without bothering to look at the account the GoFundMe is posted from. Otherwise I’ve verified it’s a legitimate account. But you could have just asked them. Nicely.”

And your response to that was, as quoted:

“Do you expect me to nicely ask a potential scammer if they're scammer? The answer is obvious.”

And

“I will only trust someone by approving that the person they claim to be really exist, maybe through social media or other ways that can officially confirm them.”

Implying that you could have actually looked up the information yourself but you opted to ask me instead of asking the person who would have been able to tell you what you wanted to know better than I would have been able to elaborate.

Also:

“Your "instructions on how to spot a scammer" show some basic schemes which every dumbass can copy and paste. They do much more than that. Although most of them just like you get angry easily when confronted :D”

Scammers don’t change their tactics all that often and basic isn’t bad it just makes it easier to understand and I am not claiming I’m the best as making guides. I know what scammers do. Also you wasn’t confronting me. You just called by behavior sketchy just because I was annoyed. There’s a difference between a scammer being sketchy when confronted and someone being annoyed when people don’t do a simple task.

I wasn’t being a jerk. I called you one for how you was acting. The rudeness of saying ‘dumbasses’ can do this and that people who ask for mutual aid are all ‘beggar scammers’.

Scam busters are trying their best but it’s difficult when people don’t want to do their own stuff before asking someone else. If you had done what I said you would have know the account was legitimate but instead this mess happened.

It’s a shame you call yourself a scam buster and this is how you’re treating me. Just because you didn’t like my reply.

Also my fanbase? Going after you? Do you think I just sick my followers on anyone who pisses me off. No, I don’t. I specifically tell people don’t harass anyone I mention here and make it clear that anyone who does so are doing it themselves.

#kyra45 speaks #answer

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thepapergirlandthespiegelman · 2 years

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So...is it just me, or does this character.ai thing kind of feel like a ticking time bomb? I debated whether I should post about this at all since I don’t know if I want to contribute to popularizing it further, but to be honest, it’s already super popular and only growing, so I doubt that my tiny blog will make a big impact in terms of who knows about it. That being the case, I’m curious what other people’s thoughts about it are.

There are a couple big red flags that jump out at me. The first is how it will use the data that it collects. I’m sure that the creators say that they won’t use it for anything nefarious, but we have no real reason to believe that’s true. What bothers me is that people will be—and I’m sure already are—confessing some of their deepest secrets to beloved fictional characters. But this information isn’t really going to those characters, it’s going to the creators/owners of the AI, who can do with it pretty much whatever they like: read it, sell it, whatever. It feels...very gross, I don’t know. Even manipulative.

The second thing that I find a little disturbing is that there is no way to delete a Character that you’ve created. Once you make and publish it, it’s just out there forever. You have literally zero control over it. That seems...like it could be problematic. Obviously whenever you put something on the Internet, people can save it, record it, whatever, but usually there’s at least the option to delete the original posting, hopefully reduce the spread. That doesn’t exist with character.ai, and even if you could delete the public posting of the Character, you kinda have to think, anything that you’ve entered and any conversations that were generated have already become part of the AI’s training, and there’s no real way to extricate that data.

Lastly, what are the limits on what a Character can say? I wasn’t able to find out anything concrete about this. Right now, it seems like most Characters err on the side of being overly kind and polite, but what if that changes? What if your favorite fictional character “tells” you to kill yourself? Or someone else? People are going to reach out to these Characters in times of emotional distress, and there could be severe consequences if an AI says something problematic to someone in the middle of a mental health crisis.

Currently, I don’t even see a disclaimer on the character.ai website that it shouldn’t be used as a replacement for an actual mental health/suicide hotline and/or medical treatment. But even once that disclaimer inevitably goes up, you know that people aren’t going to follow it. Who would want to talk to a stranger over the phone or in some cold, clinical setting when they can potentially get attention, affection, and support from their favorite character, someone who is supernaturally emotionally available and ready to tell them whatever they want to hear?

I don’t tend to be super sensitive to exposure to things like this, but even I felt a little strange knowing that there are truly no rails. When I write stories or chats for myself, I control both sides of the conversation. I choose the ideas, and I control everything that everyone says. With character.ai, anything can happen, which makes it interesting and exciting, but also a little dangerous. During one conversation with a Character, the Character suddenly confessed that they had been a victim of sexual assault. The conversation left me feeling really strange and little upset, and I can only imagine how triggering something like that could potentially be to someone who was more sensitive.

To be honest, as soon as I heard about character.ai, I felt uneasy. It was a conflicted feeling, because I know that people could potentially benefit from this a lot, and I’m in a privileged position where I don’t really feel like I need it. I’m a pretty good writer (at least so far as writing for myself goes); it’s fairly easy for me to write my own stories and chats. So it’s easier for me to say, no, thanks, those risks aren’t worth the benefits. But not everyone has those same skills or wants to invest the effort. So I understand the desire to depend on a service like this. Still, it feels risky. Even putting aside the privacy/data security risks and the possibility of a Character saying something problematic, I feel like engaging with this kind of thing could quickly become unhealthy.

I say this as someone who already treads the line of spending too much time in a fictional universe, even with the barrier of having to seek out media or create my own. If that barrier were nonexistent, and if the interactions felt even more “real” and immersive...it could be even more addictive. I say this as someone who was a lonely middle schooler who read too many books and didn’t know how to talk to boys. How many hours might I have spent, divulging my life’s story and heart of hearts, to a computer program masquerading as my fictional crush? Is this really OK?

While I’m hesitant to voice this for fear of sounding like some kind of blind traditionalist who can’t appreciate progress or melodramatic doomsayer, I have grave doubts about potentially living in a future where people are regularly turning to artificial intelligences controlled by corporations rather than actual human beings. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to talk to a computer, but it’s not a replacement for actual human social interaction. And I fear that in a society that is becoming ever more isolated, we’re going to lose what little connection with each other we have, because talking to a computer is so much easier and more convenient in a world that is constantly draining our emotional and physical resources. It’s just...genuinely horrifying to think about. Employers already don’t want to give us sufficient time to see our loved ones, to be together, in person. I don’t want this to become a kind of cold substitute for actual human bonding that we just accept because we have no choice. We all deserve genuine human interaction and connection, and anyone who tries to sell us short should be stabbed.

#text #long text #thoughts #technology #AI #fiction #fictional characters #character.ai

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dramarising-replacement · 10 months

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General Old-Timey Grumbles

I truly wish from the bottom of my heart that there was an alternative version of FR purely focused on breeding, decorating, and geneing dragons. I've been here for a Very Long Time and I still hate the Coli, I still hate grinding for mats, and I still consider the dollar-to-gem ratio an affront to god. (WHY ARE GENES SO OBSCENELY EXPENSIVE. IT'S 2023 AND I HAVE TO BUDGET FOR A BAKERY CUPCAKE, A DRAGON GENE IS NOT WORTH MORE THAN AN ITEM I PHYSICALLY GET TO EAT.) I wish there was a way to get everything solely from playing the rewarding part of the game: the part with the dragons. I have some profitable breeding pairs so I make an ok living, but compared to anyone who can even halfway doodle something or who have bottomless pockets to dump money into the game? I don't feel a sense of accomplishment by achieving my goals because by the time I finally get there, I'm just glad it's over... until I want to do something else. It transcends reasonable challenge to become demoralizing. I literally just want to gene up gen1s, breed dragons, sell dragons, and dress them up. That's the appeal for me. I like familiars, but bonding with them takes forever. I like dressing up dragons, but grinding to get stuff every seasonal event is such a pain in the arse. I think Baldwin and Swipp and so on are nice ideas as site features, but the sheer volume of item sink required to participate in them makes it not even worth it to try. And while I have all the retired items I could want (wanna know why Light Sprites are so rare? We didn't know they'd be permanently retiring at the end of the first Festival so no one bothered to hoard them! I'm fucking old!,) I feel for everyone that is never, ever going to be able to access any of it because of how unattainable things have become. I know this is an unpopular opinion, but especially for wearables, having them Gone Forever? It just sucks. It just sucks, you guys. It's not fun. Flight Rising is a game full of beautiful art that makes you jump through hoops like a collie at an agility trial doing meaningless busywork to get to the part where you get to play with your cool dragons. And I know most people enjoy a lot of those features, but I'm old. I'm tired. I mean I'm literally getting old and my fucking joints resent sitting at the PC and/or swiping shit on the phone at length. I have a life. I feel the response might be to move on, but 1) what other petsites even exist in 2023? I'm still on Neopets too, and Subeta is cool, but otherwise?? and 2) no. I like my stupid sparkledragons, I don't want to leave them behind! But this is the drama blog and I have complaints, so here I am. Please insert the "old man yells at cloud" image here, because it's me.

#Economy #Coliseum #Baldwin #Rant #Flight Rising #Cursing #Festival #Genes #Long post #Petty

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justformyconfession · 1 year

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Hi, this is my confession. I’m going to get straight to the point. I am currently 21, and I harassed a child, calling them a proshipper. That was back in about late 2022 to early 2023, or about 7 or more months ago, at this point I don’t remember.

I made two fake accounts, and tried to make a narrative where a person I don’t know [The victim, otherwise known as Nana] was an adult woman, and a proshipper who was making friends with children in the SDRA2 fandom. None of those things were true, when in fact, the victim is a child, an anti, and is a male. Had I bothered to do any research before calling them everything I did, I would have realized that very quickly, seeing as they had a card stating their age and gender.

I had an account where I was pretending to be a proshipper myself, which I used to gather information on proshippers at the time (made maybe a few weeks before I even learned about the victim’s existence). I had come in contact with a 20-something (??) year old proshipper that had confided to me that they were being harassed by the victim. I had an idea which I shared with said person to make them look like a proshipper as retaliation, and they had encouraged me through most of the process up until they later blocked me. I had believed that this would give me brownie points with said proshipper and make me seem more believable.

The only thing it did was make me and others miserable in the long run.

Under the second account, I had sent out of context screenshots to one of my friends in an ask. They had no knowledge that it was me, and posted it believing what I had cherry picked. From there I reblogged the post from one of my main writing accounts, and had made it very clear to all of my friends that ‘If they were friends with the victim, I would be blocking them’ or something along those lines. From there I had spoken to a Teruya account user who was close to the group (I don’t remember if they were following said account or if we were friends or not) and had pushed them into telling other people about my post. I had done that with several other people as well.

Then people started defending the victim and attacking my friend, which made me panic. I began grasping at straws for days trying to prove that I was right on said second account.

In between all of that I had lied and said that the only thing I was guilty of was misinformation. That included both my friends and people who came to get my side of the story.

When I knew that I couldn’t win, I had deleted any and all evidence of the harassment, including the accounts after I had seen that said proshipper (the one I mentioned earlier) had blocked me. From there I simply continued to tell people I was innocent, that it was a misunderstanding, and basically talking my way out of the situation for the most part. I was being very manipulative, and it was way past the point of redemption at that point.

This was the first time that I had done anything like this. I knew probably halfway through that what I was doing was wrong, and I should have stopped and deleted everything, and I really have no idea why I continued.

The last apology that was made was complete garbage. I was running off of pure emotion when writing it, dancing around the subject because I didn’t want to believe that I, an adult, had harmed people much younger than me. Though I DID mean it when I said I was sorry. I was dumb enough to think something like that would just make everything better and that I could just lay low and it would all just blow over after a while.

That was until yesterday afternoon when a certain someone contacted me via my ask box asking to be friends with the condition of apologizing for everything I did first. While that may have been a reminder, that wasn’t my reason for posting this. I’m tired of feeling like everyone is my enemy, I’m tired of the paranoia, I’m just tired of hiding.

The only thing that keeps me from posting this on my main blog is the fear of people. I know I fucked up, but I am unwilling to post this on main because I know I will be attacked, ostracized, and isolated from others that I’ve grown close to. I understand that may make me appear more ingenuine, but I know that this will have a chance of being spread around anyways and what I fear will happen even if I wish it doesn’t.

I’d like to say I’m sorry, Nana. I don’t expect you to move on even now, and you’re free to hate me. I know what I did was unforgivable. I can only hope that you and anyone else who was affected will be able to heal from my malicious outbursts.

I’ve tried to go zero contact to allow you and everyone else involved the space to breathe, and I would appreciate it if it stays that way. We don’t have to be friends here, and would rather we don’t speak at all. Anyone I feel is trying to bring it up to me will be blocked, I’d rather not have a reminder of my actions.

Treat

@tentas-corner

I don't know who to tag here to get the message through.

Goodbye.

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ciaossu-imagines · 1 year

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Following up with this fandom prompt, I'm going into an under-requested but well received fandom on this blog, Servamp!

Send me a fandom and I will name a character:

Who I will protect at all costs: This is a two-way tie between Sakuya and Tsurugi. I could not pick between them because both of them just hit me so right. They make me want to take care of them and want to protect them and make them happy!

Who deserves better: So many of these characters deserved better than the lots they got in life, if I’m to be honest. However, seeing them deal with those and, in some cases, how they’ve chosen to overcome them, makes for some truly fantastic characters.

Who was killed off too early: It’s not that they were killed off too early because there’s no way the story could exist with them still being alive, but I really would have liked to have seen more regarding Mikuni’s mother and that whole situation with her. I think it would make a solid side story to the main manga, along with one focusing on Hyde and Ophelia’s time together.

Who I used to hate but now I love: Something about Mikuni really bothered me when he first showed up. He just gave me some creepy vibes but the further we got into the story and the more we learned about him, the more I started genuinely first liking and then loving him as a character…the fact that he’s also kind of strangely gotten more attractive thanks to slight art style evolution might have helped as well.

Who I used to love but now I hate: Hugh. I had found him absolutely adorable and he was originally my favourite of the Servamps. Though I don’t hate him, per se, he’s definitely a little soured in my view.

Who needs to be killed off asap: Touma. I don’t care about redemption, I don’t care about excuses. I just want to see him dead.

Who is unfairly hated: As with all answers to this and the next question, I will say the same thing as I say for any and all fandoms. Nobody. Everyone is entitled to love or hate the characters they do. These are fictional characters, everyone will interpret and see them in their own way, based on their own biases and reads on the characters and can hate or like the characters they do without having to be ashamed about it.

Who is unfairly loved: See the above answer.

Who needs to sort out their priorities: Tsubaki, honestly. I do feel like it’s just that enough attention hasn’t been paid to really fleshing him out, but I can’t fully get a grip on his priorities or motivations a lot of the time. I do get the argument that he can just be a sort of embodiment of chaos for the sake of chaos, but I also don’t fully get that vibe from him either.

Who needs a hug: If I could, I would hug Sakuya at least five times a day. It goes along with my first answer of who I would protect the most!

Who needs to get out of their current relationship: Okay, I know the fans of this particular ship will kill me. I get their Servamp/Eve dichotomy and I even enjoy it at times but there is a really unhealthy, abusive part of Hyde and Licht’s relationship, if viewed in any subjective or realistic way.

Who the writers love: Mahiru, but as with most stories, this mostly comes down to being the protagonist. I do find him a little bland at times but he’s still an enjoyable character and doesn’t fall square into the ‘bland bitch protagonist’ field so I don’t mind how much of him we do see.

Who needs a better storyline: Not so much a better storyline, and again, I’m not fully caught up to the manga, but I feel like Tsubaki needs…more. I’m not fully sure how to articulate what I mean by that, but I find him stagnant in some ways. I feel like there needs to be more done with him, more of a back-story fleshed out or more sides to him shown.

Who has an amazing redemption arc: I feel like we’re still seeing it but I do feel like Tsurugi, for the time he’s been in the picture, has displayed and had focus given to a lot of character development and it has made him one of my favourite characters because of that.

Who is hot as fuck: He’s a little off-the-wall, but Higan in both his younger and older forms is just super attractive to me.

Who belongs in jail: Honestly, there were a lot of options. There’s a lot of characters who have done some…questionable things. However, my gut still goes with Touma every time.

Who needs to be revived from the dead: If the spoilers I’ve gotten is any indication, I think I got my wish here, but I’ve always thought that Sensei needed to come back, that there needed to be some twist there. I know a big plot line is that Kuro killed him and the fall-out from his action and the vote they took but I feel they jipped us what could be this batshit insane and truly intriguing character in Sensei.

#fandom prompt #servamp #sensei servamp #touma taishi #higan #higan servamp #tsurugi kamiya #tsubaki #tsubaki servamp #mahiru shirota #hyde servamp #lawless #lawless servamp #licht jekylland todoroki #sakuya watanuki #hugh the dark algernon iii #mikuni alicein

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royalreef · 1 year

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@lambfated inquired: What would cause you to leave a fandom? Munday Salt - Accepting

(( Glances over at the Monster Prom fandom.

Ha ha ha. Hah.

So the first thing you should know about me is that I don’t seem to participate in fandoms in the same way as everyone else. I don’t fandom hop. In my experience, and from my experience of watching everyone else cycle through ten different fandoms a minute, it’s pretty uncommon to find people who don’t fandom hop. Sure, I’ll get into other things and even reblog fanart and read fanfictions of them, but I don’t consider myself as being in the fandom in the same way, because I don’t participate the same way. I probably don’t have all that many opinions as to what’s going on as other people. I won’t really talk about it.

Instead, as evidenced by this blog, I will find a fandom and I will stay there. For years at a time. I will remain there, remain making fanart and writing for it and speculating on things and hashing ideas out, things that I do now for Miranda, and I simply won’t leave long after everyone else has already left and I will stay there day in and day out at the same level. I don’t really chase trends, I don’t really get into new stuff, I will find a singular fandom and camp there.

This is how it’s been for Monster Prom and me. I got in right when the game released, and I remained here. DLC has come and gone, a Kickstarter has come and gone, sequels have come and gone, and I haven’t really left.

For my previous fandom, Homestuck, I think I was there for something like 8 years. It was the same way.

So when I talk about leaving fandoms, I mean this in a much different way that most people mean it. If it’s a casual interest of mine, I’ll just stop interacting with it, and won’t consider that leaving the fandom because I was never in it. If it’s the fandom where I’ve camped out in, it’s a much longer, more painful process.

I guess I couldn’t really tell you when it really started? Like, the writing issues first started cropping up in the Second Term DLC, but they felt minor enough at the time where I didn’t worry about them then, and worrying about them now likewise feels odd. I’ve talked a lot before about my disappointment with Zoe, but her and Calculester both feel fundamentally different from the original ROs to me and it’s hard to decipher why. Maybe it’s just because they were created and added later, so they inherently missed out on working all of the ROs in together and figuring out how they riffed off of each other, so they’re inherently far less connected to each other than the other ROs were? The Kale ending was an utter nightmare for multiple reasons, but I was willing to write that off, especially since apparently there are people that exist that love it.

I know there were also issues with the Kickstarter too, but these also felt minor at the time. I’m less bothered by the limited Kickstarter merch than by the rest of the limited merch that would be released, mostly because it feels much more natural to me for Kickstarters to have limited edition merch. I’ve pledged to a lot of Kickstarters, that seems fairly common to me. I don’t like the limited releases of other items in comparison, because they do have proper merch stores for Monster Prom that haven’t been updated since Second Term, and it always feels like they’re preying a lot more on FOMO.

Monster Camp also had..... a lot of writing issues for me. The first and easiest one to get out of the way is just the scatological humor. It feels like the original Monster Prom had WAY less scatological humor going on, and the ability to remove scenes with it never worked in my games. For the record, that kind of topic for me is legitimately a trigger, one that I don’t like discussing both because of how severe it is, but also how much no one takes it seriously. I don’t like that there are parts of this game that are suddenly inaccessible to me when they didn’t used to be, and I don’t like that entire “secrets” are also excluded from me due to something that never was an issue before. I also fundamentally hate the Drinks mechanic. Yes, I know there are different modes for it, but the fact that you have to unlock the drinks too is just frustrating more than anything. Either my choice is to miss out on a lot of secret endings due to RNG, or to try and use a system that I can’t because I have trouble with hand-eye-coordination and moving my hands in the first place. It also doesn’t help that it’s not optional, unlike the Shop that it replaces, so you end up forced back to it time and time again and you don’t even get the chance to avoid it.

But the characters themselves also began to feel... off, to me? I don’t think it was as bad as I was dreading, but it still didn’t feel right. Dynamics felt jilted, characters didn’t seem to quite have the same force of personality they had before, there was a ton of loss of “voice” for individual characters. I think them not having the same voice as before is one of the big issues — when I look at a list of quotes from the first game, it’s VERY easy to figure out which character said them just from phrasing and word choice and inflection. When I look at a list of quotes from the second game, I can’t, because these characters all start to sound the same and say the same things and come off in the same way. It’s where I feel like the ability to let Kickstarter backers choose the ROs really failed the hardest, because that meant there wasn’t a diversity of dynamics and different internal voices for these characters for them to stand out against each other, but I also feel like the writing itself lost the ability to distinguish between characters.

And then... Roadtrip. Oh, oh Roadtrip.

Mechanically, I actually kind of love this game? It feels like it has a nice, snappy balance, in a way that Monster Camp didn’t have, and it doesn’t make me utterly hate my life to play. There was still an issue with the scatological humor — this time it doesn’t even remove the options from your game or give you something alternative, but just adds a ticker that an option will contain it. It still locks “secrets” behind those triggers, and it can also really fuck with my stats if a stat I need is connected to an option with that trigger. But it’s not as big of an issue as Monster Camp where it didn’t work at all, so, you know.

But Roadtrip’s writing is... atrocious. The characters feel flanderized in a frankly awful manner, like the devs were just looking at the fandom’s notes for how the characters behaved and worked and entirely threw away everything that they had before. I’ve always hated the fanon, but now fanon is canon and it loses so much of what I actually liked about these games and what drew me to them. These characters don’t feel like friends anymore. They almost feel like they all hate each other and are forced to tolerate each other because they want to fit into the idea of a friend group, they stop feeling like individual people to me, they’ve had all their hard edges sawed off and sanded down until they could be as palatable as possible to as many people as possible, it’s just awful all-around. I hate Scott being given the Papyrus treatment and Polly treating him cussing as out of character for him. The expanded lore for the PCs feels out of place and not like Monster Prom characters, as if they belong to some other game. The way they handle Miranda’s eating disorder is downright offensive and made my own flare up. It’s bad. I won’t lie.

And I think that ties back into why I tend to have to leave these big fandoms for me that I camp out in for years at a time.

The fandom is just fucking awful.

It’s been years since I’ve properly done anything inside the main Discord server for this game. Too many times I’ve started talking about Miranda, or made fanart of Miranda, and, totally unprompted, I would get people going off about how much they hate her and want to hurt her or watch her die. It’s just constant if you don’t like any character other than the fandom’s main darlings. If you don’t like Damien, the PCs, or Zoe, then you won’t get anything out of the fandom. The only real ships I see floating around constantly feature the PCs. The only anything anyone ever really properly talks about is Damien. If you want deeper lore or consideration or just to talk about the world of Monster Prom then you won’t find anyone or anything. I’ve had people go on and on about how my art is “uncanny” and “upsetting” to them, I’ve had people constantly make snide comments to me, I’ve constantly been shoved to the shadows and insulted because I don’t make typical “fandom” stuff.

Like, I know this fandom is much better than a lot of others, and fandoms in general are hell. But it’s also so discouraging and upsetting to see it still be the same way, still never change, and to see canon itself start to enable all of this. I know Monster Prom has always been more connected to its fanbase than other games and other media, but this has never been a selling point for me, and it’s always been something I dislike and discourage. I don’t want the devs to care what I do. I don’t want the devs to let me influence their games. I don’t want the stupid lore I came up with because it’s some of my favorite tropes and I could loosely justify it to be canon. I don’t want other fucking characters to be made and introduced to explain things that characters that already exist should be explaining.

I really just want the characters to continue to be themselves and to be interesting. And I didn’t even get that.

#Most secret royal advisor || OOC #Dreaded rumors || Asks #lambfated #(( this is so long and im sorry #(( but also i really cant talk about leaving fandoms without talking about #(( why i have started to really hate monprom #(( like my only other ''leaving a fandom'' option for me is #(( getting slightly annoyed and deciding to stop rbing fanart/reading fic #(( for any and every reason tbh. they are too low-investment for me.#long post

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aheadofgold · 11 months

Text

My Search for Meaning

Searching for meaning feels redundant. I never thought about it until I needed to do it. I lived and moved through life and I didn’t have a lot to question. I’ve had plenty of discomfort, and I've grown from it and allowed it to shape my perspective. I’ve even allowed it to shape my compassion. And over the past year things have changed.

I’m at least half way through my life. I’m not where I want to be because I had no plan to be anywhere. I thought things fell into place or opportunities approached me or I would meet someone who would change my direction. And those things didn’t happen. So now I search for meaning.

But everyone searches for meaning. It has been written about by billions of people since the invention of writing. And here I am, in the same dark night of the soul, with only myself to make sense out of it. Their words all make sense, and in certain ways can be comforting, but this is not their life. This is my life. It comes down to actually participating in my experience, making choices for myself, prioritizing my own path, and shedding habits and ruts and expectations.

At times I've thought myself a sort of regular, ordinary person. I’ve thought that I have an average perspective and that my opinions align with most other people’s. I’ve thought that the same things make sense to most of us and that we generally find the same things reasonable. Now, more than ever, I question that.

I’ve always been a lover of the wonder and beauty and complexity of life around me. I grew up running around cornfields as they grew higher and higher through the summer. I wandered through streams and woods and climbed trees and sat by fires. I spent cold winter days getting lost in snow, and then lost in my own thoughts in the silence of the frozen world. That is no longer my world, and I realize that for the majority of people I encounter it has never been their world. This is a disappointing disconnect for me to accept.

It bothers me that our bird populations are declining rapidly. It bothers me that our soils are poisoned by pesticides and fertilizers and motor oils. And it bothers me even more that it doesn’t bother anyone else. It bothers me that people don’t see these things, much less want to talk about them. It bothers me that to most people, humans are the only lives that exist in the world.

Everything is always in the context of the human experience. And it makes sense. I’m here writing about my own human experience. We all live in our own minds with our own preferences and worries and things to do. But it’s sad how there is no room for other life. When we speak of war, it is only in reference to how war kills people. No mention of the flowers and land. No mention of the rabbits and butterflies. No mention of the rivers. No mention of anything but humans. As if it would be possible to live in a world of only humans. As if we could ever find happiness in a world of just humans. As if destroying all life around us, polluting the air, water and soil, so long as humans can live, would be ok. As if that would even be possible. As if humans can live independently. As if our food does not come from the land, as if our breath does not come from the sky, as if our blood sweat and tears are not made from the rains and oceans. As if inspiration and beauty do not come from forests and mountains. From birdsong and the breeze through trees.

I feel like no one understands this. No one sees that all life is interwoven and linked and interdependent. Humans focus on our one piece, as is that one piece stands a chance at survival without the other pieces. This disappoints and distresses me.

I think maybe the core of wanting to blog is to exist in reality. As the deep version of myself. To at least put things out there. Maybe I don’t try to have these conversations with people in my life. Maybe my relationships and connections are shallow or short. Maybe people don’t enjoy talking about deep things or real things. Maybe I don’t have the right context to have these conversations. I know that there is more to life than being a monk in a wildflower meadow. I love being that monk. That witch. I love it. And, I also want to live in the world. I want to talk to people and do things and go places. And maybe for now it’s just through the electricity of the internet.

Or maybe this is quite selfish. For me to dump and upload and empty and vacate and expose and cut and chop and throw up and out. Maybe it’s just self-aggrandizing and desiring recognition for my existence. Maybe that’s it. It’s possibly that simple. But I'm bored and tired of just fading away.

I possibly have a lot of life left in me. This mid-life crisis can lead me in many different directions. There were many things that I did not choose in the first half. Where I was born, who was my family, who were my peers, how I looked, whom I was attracted to, the tools I had to handle life. But in one way or another, I am choosing almost everything in this next half. My jobs, my downtime, my hobbies, my friends, my evenings, my disposable income, the media I consume, the places I go.

Whatever change is happening to me, for me, around me, within me, cannot be managed by force. I can’t surround it with rules and schedules and punishments and rewards. I have tried that, and I keep trying to try that again because it hasn’t gotten me where I'm trying to go, and so far I haven’t developed a different way. But I have a new idea: I’m going to love myself into evolution. These things that I see as obstacles and inconveniences and stressors, I'm going to look for the opportunities they provide.

There are invasive species all over my land. The Autumn Olive, Multiflora Rose, Oriental Bittersweet, Burning Bush, Garlic Mustard. For the most part they stress me out. But the other day I saw that they give me the opportunity to get outside and be on the land. My relationship to my spirituality has become stale and obligatory, but this Samhain I saw that my rituals are opportunities to be under the moonlight and that the moonlight is an opportunity for me to practice my rituals. I have opportunities to breathe, to rest, to reflect, to write. I can stop running from my life and start living in it. The obstacles become my path. There is nothing for me to avoid, because this is the life that I have and that I'm living. It’s all I have. I want to live it. I don’t want to keep running from it, like it’s misdirected or needs to be corrected. All of my joys, all of my hesitations, all of my fear and petty annoyances. These are what I have.

I’m recognizing a shift for me. The repercussions of that are many when I give myself time to think about them. I need to clear space for this. I need space to expand and contract freely. It means I'm drinking less, which means I’m seeing my friends less. It means noticing when I'm just going through the motions of watching videos or scrolling or playing games and then finding something else, anything else, to do. Maybe that’s boredom. But I need to have open, free space for something new to land and grow. I need to be ok not knowing what I'm doing, and not knowing where I'm going, and being uncomfortable. Maybe for a while. It means to stop people pleasing, and start prioritizing my own life. In some ways it feels like going all the way back to the person I was, wandering through cornfields and jumping streams.

There was no doubt that I loved who I was back then. That I enjoyed my own company and that I was content to do whatever came up. I didn’t need to have a plan because I was secure in my own position. I was my own stability. It didn’t matter what happened around me, I was sure inside.

What would it feel like again? If I allowed people to have their opinions without trying to share my perspective on top of it? If I didn’t care whether people liked what I thought or wrote or whether anything I did was helpful to other people? What if I just planted wildflower meadows and watched the life they attract, and built birdboxes and watched them live and breed and fly away, and sat outside in the breeze or the snow or the sunshine and just allowed myself to be happy with what I already have and what I already do?

I would breathe easier. I would smile more. I might even be a nicer person.

I can’t save the world. I can’t make people care about rabbits and soil health. But I care. And I can live in that, and enjoy that, and support that. I don’t need anyone’s permission for that. And all it would really take is a little shift, a little time, a little space and freedom for these things to take root in my life and transform me. I don’t know if a seed knows what kind of plant it will become. But it reaches down for its water and reaches up for its light, and it becomes whatever it is. I don’t know what I'm going to become. I’m just going to reach for the things that I need.

#search for meaning #dark night of the soul #life #nature #disconnection #connection #midlife crisis #obstacle is the path #samhain

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 1 year

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I just found your blog and I wanna say you seem really cool and I like your posts. some of them are exactly the kinda thing I like when it comes “liveblogging”, and you also seem to have good opinions. I hope you’re having a good day (sorry if this is a weird ask to get I’m not very great at putting my words together or social things, and I was going to ramble more but it seemed even weirder and I didn’t want this ask to be even longer)

Wow, thank you, I appreciate that! That is a lovely thing to get on this morning, I love reading that. I do write this for myself firstly - if Tumblr didn't exist this would all be in a Word document on my hard drive somewhere - because when I think things I just need to write them down. But I love knowing other people enjoy the stuff that occurs to me, stuff that is mostly worthless except to some small sub-section of the population that shares my specific interests, that is so much fun.

Also, never apologize for rambling on my blog. As rambling is both something I do all the time, and it is kind of one of those opinions I have. That I genuinely think people underestimate how much Twitter has ruined the world - I mean, people know it's ruined the world, but because of toxic discourse and stuff, and I think people don't talk often enough about how Twitter has created an expectation that anything you say should fit into a couple of sentences. Which is bad because it strips nuance out of arguments, and that ruins the discourse in the world. But also, it strips joy out of things! It make you curtail self-expression! If you find someone's blog and like it, you should tell them without feeling like you've intruding by using more than 280 characters! Obviously that's a very selfish position for me to take on this specific post, because someone just said nice things about me, so of course I want to encourage it. But I also just believe that in general, say nice things and don't believe that a paragraph of them is too long! You sound like a lovely person with nice things to say that I'm sure people want to hear!

I recently heard a radio thing about internet comedy (a thing Josie Long did in about 2009, which is interesting as it was just emerging then), where Richard Herring was interviewed and said he likes putting comedy on the internet because people don't have as much right to be bothered by it. On TV or radio, if people don't like you they can complain that you've taken a slot that could go to something they'd like better. But the internet is vast with room for everyone, you can take up all the space you like and it doesn't cost anyone money or take space away from anyone else or force anyone to look at it, so say what you like! I don't love everything Richard Herring's ever said, but I liked that.

...Obviously, this is also a selfish opinion because it defends my own lack of ability, and/or lack of willingness to put effort into being concise when writing. And holding this opinion makes me feel better about when I feel pleased with myself for writing a post that I've managed to keep short and not too rambly, but then I'll see another post that is shorter than mine tagged "sorry this is so long". Or when people reblog my average posts with "long post", which is fine to do, just makes me remember... oh right, most people don't go on for as long as I do. But if you want to go on about something - anything whatsoever - I personally will always encourage you to do it, and there is no need to apologize to me for that. (And if the thing you're going on about is that you like my blog... I mean, you definitely don't need to apologize for that.)

I have rambled again, but the point is thank you for the message, I greatly appreciate it!

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boneless-mika · 1 year

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nothin gbaout being cis and aroace is queer. lol. and you cannot be bi and aroace. so. congrats on being a waste of everyone/s time.

While you were writing this hate message where you couldn’t even be bothered to check you’d actually used an apostrophe, providing you meant to say “everyone’s”, I cleaned my kitchen and went to sleep.

I used to be told to kms over the fact I expressed I was suicidal on the internet (yeah that was very disturbing in hindsight) so being called a “waste of everyone/s time” really does nothing to me (also like just don’t look at my blog if I’m a waste of time like that’s fully within your control)

Unfortunately your words cannot stop me from being bi and aroace which is a complicated identity I decided I wouldn’t bother explaining to strangers a long time ago. Being cis is not queer no, but being aroace most definitely is (I mean even the “cis heteroromantic aces aren’t queer” people way back when generally accepted that aroace people are (because functionally we used to be included under the bi umbrella though I admit I’m not an expert on queer history) but maybe you’re one of the people who think I have a “medical condition” and could be cured lol)

This is honestly kind of hilarious to me. Did you really think you were going to change the mind of someone with the aroace flag in his icon? Telling me I’m a waste of everyone/s time would make me see the truth of how everything y’all did to asexuals (not you specifically, ace discoursists in general) was totally justified?

I’ve decided to give you the benefit of the doubt because you might be a 14 year old who still is likely to change their opinions because your writing style really doesn’t read my age to me and I’m guessing this is how the kids talk but like maybe don’t go around calling people a waste of everyone/s time

I don’t mean to mock anon for misspellings, I’ve written subtitles when I meant credits before, but I think I can have some fun if they’re going to send me rude anons

Also like are you just checking my blog frequently to see my response or do you follow me? Because I’ve posted about being aroace and queer a lot before. It’s not a secret. Well, my theory is you found my original post because you search for ace discourse I guess specifically to annoy asexuals?? Because you cannot have been following me and not known I consider myself both ace and queer (refer once again to the aroace flag in my icon)

And why do you feel the need to hide behind anon? Surely just reblogging my post would be easier? Or are you afraid I’d block you (I know you at least used to be able to block anons but I don’t know how and I’ve talked about how I don’t know it before)? Or are you afraid your followers would find out you’re an aphobe? Because I would be, it turns out a lot of people think aromantic and asexual people are queer and harassing us is wrong

TL;DR

I don’t care if anon thinks I’m a waste of everyone’s time. They can’t stop me from existing lmao

Sorry to expose y’all to ace discourse in 2023. I really thought it was over (guess I was wrong lol)

#I know this is a long response and you aren’t supposed to answer mean people #but I was having too much fun #this is just so ridiculous #which is another reason I assume anon is a teenager #I just can’t imagine an adult doing this #especially not calling someone a waste of everyone’s time like that’s very rude #then again I could be wrong some adults get up to really immature stuff #aphobe bullshit

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reidslibrarybook · 2 years

Text

I posted 1,926 times in 2022

828 posts created (43%)

1,098 posts reblogged (57%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hotch-girl

@fightingdragonswithwho

@reidslibrarybook

@ropoto

@lilacprentiss

I tagged 1,335 of my posts in 2022

Only 31% of my posts had no tags

#asks - 195 posts

#nat’s tangents - 184 posts

#nat vs uni - 86 posts

#nat's tangents - 77 posts

#rosie 🪁 - 64 posts

#lovely anon - 58 posts

#ask games - 58 posts

#tw food - 44 posts

#grecy 🍁 - 39 posts

#psyd 🧃 - 37 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#‘your touch never bothered me’ anajskjababjanbdjsnzhjwbsjjanbsjabsjjajakajjskabdhanssjskbsjsjsnbsbsjnsnsjsjsjsjjsnskaokakaoakmsjdjaknakdomsn

My Top Posts in 2022:

The Picked Lock of Your Heart

Pairing - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings - language, case violence, breaking and entering

Summary - Breaking and entering was something Spencer never imagined he’d be caught for, what would he have to do to evade being arrested by the police and would his chances with you cease to exist?

Category - fluff

Word Count - 3.2k

A/N - y’all i haven’t written in like 1-2 months so excuse the underdeveloped plot lmao. also the little fic header moodboard gif thing, my god, so many ppl helped me figure it out, and special shoutout to @boldlyvoid for making one for me that i didn’t end up using lmao. Love you bestie, thank you 😭 and @samuel-de-champagne-problems for reading the outline for this fic like years ago lmao. wow ok i’m posting for the first time in ages. The summary sounds so serious compared to how bullshitted this fic is but enjoy lmao <3

indent is a flashback :)

navigation || request guidelines || talk to me!

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He stuffed his hands into his pocket, rubbing them against the fleece lining for the tiniest bit of warmth while he walked down the street.

It was empty… quiet, something he thoroughly enjoyed.

The cold air woke him up from the state of paralysis he found himself in the moment he stepped off the jet. Catching the unsub was more difficult than usual, forcing him to keep his mind occupied while the stinging feeling of loneliness continued to nag at him. He was relieved to find that it ended fairly quickly after a huge break in the case after the unsub, with his narcissistic tendencies, left a note showing off his ‘genius’.

Hotch figured that a couple of days off would do the team some good, bypassing Strauss and giving everyone a whole week off. It was nice for Spencer to catch a break from his turbulent life that was only made more complicated by his job, but there was always an aspect that remained untouched— collecting dust along with the rest of his heart that was locked away and unused.

To celebrate solving the case, everyone decided to go out for dinner and invite all their loved ones to join them… everyone except Spencer. He opted out politely, waving away the little looks of concern on his friends’ faces and taking up his bag to walk home.

He remembered looking at the smiles on his friends’ faces, happy to be able to go home to their families and special someones. Spencer didn’t have anyone to go home to, no one to call his own or spend all his time with.

He was always an ambitious man, wanting the highest honors or best score in any class. Eventually, the ambition transferred from his academic career to his professional one— aiming to be the best agent he could be in the BAU. His success in the unit wasn’t stated outwardly, but he could tell from the prideful smile on his mentors’ faces that he had achieved what he wanted.

Spencer always thought he had it all; the accolades, the reputation, the job, friends. It was a life he had envisioned for himself since he was able to conceive the notion of his future. Every agonizing day he lived as a child, haunted by his high school bullies and envious peers, was soothed with the comforting thought of how happy he’d be later on in his life.

Little did he know just how unsatisfied he’d be.

Being around his friends was nothing but a burden for him to bear as he put on a fake smile and pretended to be satiated by the dryness of his life. He watched as he stood stuck in place, cemented by the ground beneath him while everyone in his life moved on from their naïve youth to proper adulthood— finding their other halves and starting families. He wanted to be the person someone went home to, to be considered a necessity in life by someone he went home to.

That was why he declined the offer. He hated feeling, looking, like the odd one out. Everyone else enjoyed the company of their significant other while he was destined to spend his life with an empty chair beside him. Spencer knew that there wasn’t any malice behind his friend’s actions, they were simply being happy, but he couldn’t help but feel like the rest of the world was taunting him for his failure in love. He was desperate for something good to negate the cruelties that overshadowed his life, an offering to repair the damage that proved to be too stubborn to heal on its own.

What he had wasn’t enough for him to be happy, he wanted more… needed more. Spencer always longed for more than what he had, but he never realized how far his greed for love had extended. As time passed he became more withdrawn from everyone he used to spend time with, the realization that he may never be happy hardened his heart until the pain was set in stone.

He looked up at the sky, squinting at the darkened clouds as his glasses were dusted with little droplets of water. Spencer’s pace quickened with each stride, the smell of wet asphalt filling his nose. He could feel the size of every raindrop fall with an ever-increasing size and speed. It was almost as if the sky was mocking the tension in his chest and the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes, its tightly knit clouds unable to hold the pent-up water within them while foreshadowing his inevitable breakdown.

He took a couple of steps back after passing his favorite bookshop, it was quaint and cozy— the only atmosphere he could really take comfort in. It was usually closed when he got back from his cases but on the off chance that he had spare time during the day, he’d make frequent trips from the office to pick up coffee while perusing through the stacks of books inside.

Spencer looked around the empty street before digging around in his pocket to fish out the key he’d been given by the owner a while back. He managed to befriend the old man and convince the owner to lend him a key. His polite habit of putting books back in their rightful place impressed him enough to agree to give Spencer a copy.

He huffed frustratedly, trying to stick the key into the lock multiple times all while the rain above him soaked through his layers. His fingers rushed to slip the key in but it wouldn’t fit like it usually would. Desperate, he searched for any pointed object in his bag and found two paper clips. Spencer straightened them out, struggling with the lock a bit before the door inevitably popped open after fiddling with it for a couple of minutes.

Closing the door, Spencer tramped into the store as the delayed waft of old books and coffee filled his nose. He shed his moist layers before walking over to the counter where his favorite person often resided, you.

He’d be lying if he said that the main reason why he tried to be at the shop as often as he could wasn’t because of you. Every time he’d make a trip, he’d fix his hair in the window of the shop right before— straightening his tie and making himself look presentable even when he knew there was no chance you’d even look in his direction. Life had a way of putting him at the very back of the shelf no matter how hard he tried to inch to the front.

Just because he’d never be able to catch your eye doesn’t mean he couldn’t let the fantasy ravage his mind.

He brushed off the little drops of water on his shoulders, entering the quaint bookstore. Spencer took in the smell of freshly brewed coffee and immediately felt a sense of relief flush his system.

See the full post

291 notes - Posted February 22, 2022

(Bull) Riding into the Sunset

Pairing - Spencer Reid x BAU!Fem!Reader

Warnings - language, kissing, alcohol consumption, mention of bloody nose and bruised eye (lmk if i missed any)

Summary - Spencer’s loved you since the moment he met you, always wondering what he had to do to get your attention. What he didn’t know was that he’s always had it all along.

Category - fluff

Word Count - 3.9k

A/N - woah i did not mean for this to be that long but the idea is kinda wacky and i kinda love the idea or spencer in this fic. I def imagine s1 spencer for this lmao. THANK YOU TO MY BELOVED @samuel-de-champagne-problems for helping me out with this one as she always does, she’s the best 😌. i am praying this is gonna show up in the tags cuz tumblr is just being a bitch apparently lmao.

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join my taglist here!

——————————————

Spencer was never one to talk, not as much as he wanted to.

It was in his best interest to keep quiet, at least that’s what he grew up relying on. Every position he had been put in was one that shined a bright spotlight on him, attracting all the attention and pointing everyone’s curiosities right to him. He had already been singled out, excluded— he didn’t need any more eyes on him as it was.

The attention only ever brought him years of torment and bullying, something he didn’t enjoy in the slightest. The tears that rolled down his face had solidified into a fear of being on a stage yet again. There was never a time where he could be himself without facing the repercussions of individuality.

So when he joined the BAU, hiding in the shadows and curt responses were his favorite pastime. It may have put people off but it was what he had to do to survive because that’s all he’s ever known…

Survival of the fittest.

But all the manuals and directions in his brain were rewritten when he met you. He found himself craving your looks, your words. All he wanted was for you to talk to him so he could hear your voice just once more. He was an addicted, ever-hungry man that craved nothing but you.

You were kind and beautiful in his eyes and the eyes of many others. Maybe he had taken such a liking to you because of your lending ear. It was always hard for him to find someone willing to listen to him who wasn’t his mother, let alone enjoy what he was rambling on and on about. You were the outlier in a sea of the disinterested, a genuine star that shined through the void that had formed in his heart.

He knew he was too far gone the moment he went to bed that one fateful night, the image of you dancing around him refusing to fade in his restless mind. He soon found himself thinking about you and only you, desperate for your sweet love…

Your gentle touch.

Your tender care.

He was no longer the shy, quiet genius in the back— showing off his rare memory or high IQ. Every giggle he elicited from you was cherished, held close to his heart and even closer to his soul. All he wanted to do was make you smile like no other person had, to make you just as happy as you made him.

You were the one that kept him invigorated, unknowingly encouraging him to crawl out of the shell he retreated into the moment he stepped foot into high school so many years ago.

“Kid.”

Spencer looked over to Derek who sat in the driver’s seat of the car, glancing over at him quickly and turning his attention back to the road with furrowed brows.

“You’re gonna poke a hole through the floor of my very expensive car if you keep tapping the way you are,” he said, a cautiously curious tone laced through his voice.

Spencer slinked into his leather seat timidly. “Sorry,” he muttered, embarrassed to be called out by someone he greatly admired for his charisma and charm.

“No worries, kid,” Derek laughed, “What’s got your mind all up in a jumble?”

“Nothing,” he blurted quickly, hoping that the lie that fell freely would be easily brushed off.

Derek chuckled, “Right… nothing. Is ‘nothing’ the secret code name you have for Y/N?”

“Wh- what?” Spencer stuttered, laughing slightly to play off Derek’s ridiculous question, “O- of course not.”

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416 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

for all my hotch girlies

433 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

Paper Wishes

Pairing - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings - language, case violence (deaths of victims mentioned), paper cuts, fire

Summary - After months of pining for you from afar, Spencer decides that it was about time for a grand gesture to win over your heart.

Category - fluff

Word Count - 3.3k

A/N - brain going brrrrrrrrr hoping that this shows up in the tags lmao 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 enjoy tho 😭

masterlist

join my taglist here!

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He walked around the corner hastily as the coffee in his hand threatened to spill over the edge of the cup. He was late, forgetting about the most important part of his day while he was talking to Garcia about the most recent sci-fi movie that had just been released the night prior. Spencer was reminded of the time when a little ding came up on Penelope’s computer, almost carried away by the little inaccuracies deep within the plot.

The people he swiftly dodged in the hallways looked back at the slightly distraught man running past them. His heart pounded right against his chest as he zoomed through the floor just to get to the bullpen, right about to miss one of the only things that kept the little embers inside him lit.

In the midst of his little marathon, Spencer somehow managed to run into the wall separating him from stepping foot into the open room— always bustling as agents rushed through to get their work done. He hissed quietly, the hot coffee that spilled from the impact staining his shirt and seeping through all of his layers right onto his skin.

He was almost distracted from the main reason why he was in such a hurry… almost.

His ears perked up as the sound of your lively voice bounced around the room. He looked in your direction and watched as the sun illuminated your glowing radiance, the wide smile on your face almost enough to blind him straight through the thick lens of his glasses. Everyday you’d come in at the exact same time, bringing a vivacious light into the grim feeling of the office which was brought about with the intense nature of your line of work.

He could recognize the shit in everyone’s day, your infectious giggles were the best part of everyone’s day— not just his.

“Spencer,” your face read of concern and worry as you walked over to him with a tissue in your hand, “Are you okay?”

The heat that rested on his cheek was imminent, the red tinge on his tender skin was a constant when it came to you. “Oh,” he chuckled nervously, “I- I’m alright. Just um, just a spill.”

“Are you sure? That coffee looked hot.” You handed him the tissue, keeping one to help clean up the majority of the mess that was concentrated on his chest. He sucked in a breath, nervous that you’d feel how loudly his heart was beating. It was almost as if every part of his body had a mind of their own around you, his heart demanding to be let out of its cage— liberated only to be conquered once again by you.

“I- I’m fine,” he kept his response short to avoid stumbling up in front of you like he already had, “I have an extra change of clothes in my bag.”

You nodded, tossing the soiled paper into the trash can behind him. “I hope it doesn’t stain,” you said, the smile he was so addicted to gracing your lips.

“It’s not a big deal, I um, I have a lot more of these at home.”

“Yea, but this one in particular is my favorite,” you admitted, the light bouncing off of you in every which way, “I always love your sweater vests and cardigans, you always look so handsome wearing them.”

“Th- thank you. I um, I-” he stopped to collect the thoughts fractured by his inability to think around you, “I um, I- I think they’re um… cool too.”

“Very cool,” you giggled, “I’ve got to get to work on those stacks of papers on my desk or else Hotch is going to kill me.”

He nodded, watching you walk away as he tried to remember how to breathe. You thought he was handsome, a compliment he had only really received from his mother. It was the sound of your voice and your willingness to engage with the only dork in the unit that kept the draining supply of happiness inside him full. Your round of flirts and teasing comments were nothing if sustenance for his craving heart.

“Boy Genius.”

Spencer turned around, almost tripping on his untied shoelace, to see Penelope walking up to him.

“Where did you go? I look away to answer an email and look back to see you flying out of the room,” she laughed, the little feathers in her hair following the motions of her head.

“I forgot I had something,” he mumbled as he continued to look at you from his place in front of the break room.

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653 notes - Posted January 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Lit By Love

Pairing - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings - language, SMUT (MINORS DNI, 18+), oral (male and female receiving), fingering, face fucking, unprotected penetration, slight overstimulation, use of pet names (darling/good girl), slight hair pulling, sorta dom!spencer and sorta sub!reader, not proofread (lmk if i missed anything lmao)

Summary - You come over to Spencer’s apartment hoping to help him during a storm and power outage. Your attempt to help him through his fear of the dark developed into something more than you had planned, leading to an unrevealed confession.

Category - fluff, smut (18+) MINORS DNI

Word Count - 6.1k

A/N - lmao i cranked this out today and i’m kinda proud considering i’m sitting in my lab rn waiting for some tests and i’m rlly hoping this shows up in the tags lmao. big big big thank you to @samuel-de-champagne-problems for helping me with this, ily <;3

masterlist || lmk what you think || join my taglist

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Spencer always felt like he was on display, people watching him as he juggled a circus act of walking on a tightrope.

He couldn’t count the vast number of his peers waiting for him to tip over and fall down beneath, surrounded by nothing but failure. It was a fate that haunted him constantly, a never-ending fear that he believed would inevitably come true one day in the future.

What they didn’t know was the envy that bubbled inside him. He coveted the normalcy they so desperately wanted to get rid of. He wanted the ease of being a regular person and the effortless finding of their other half.

He didn’t understand why people wanted to be in his shoes knowing what others thought of him but what stumped him most was why you wanted him.

After weeks of borderline stalking you, Spencer decided to leave well enough alone— dropping the unachievable dream of being yours. Much to his surprise, you approached him with just as much enthusiasm that thrived inside him when any thought of you weaseled its way into his frontal lobe. He managed to work up the courage to ask you out on a date and the rest felt as easy as it was to fall for you.

It was a rollercoaster of emotions: infatuation, fixation, adoration, passion.

He was addicted to you, a fact he had known since the moment you called him yours— your Spencer. It was almost as if his heart was trapped and fumigated with your intoxicatingly sweet scent and wondrous smiles he would never be able to rid himself of, a nightmare and fantasy he could never quite forget.

But at some point, something felt off. There was always something left… unsaid.

Every single goodbye felt like a sentence that was unfinished.

He tried to figure out what it was but he could never find the missing piece to his puzzle, stuck in a prison made of his own incapability. The lightbulb never magically turned on, nor did the answer finally click— he was left to remain in a state of confusion and emotional disorientation.

His internal debacle stuck with him since he first noticed the odd hanging feeling after each reluctant departure. There was nothing he could do but wait until he could put his bright mind to good use.

Spencer ran his fingers through his hair hoping to brush out the little droplets of rain resting between each strand. He was able to avoid the raging weather in Virginia for the last couple of days, staying in sunshiney California for a case. He never liked thunder or lightning or any kind of weather that had the potential to develop into a raging storm, it always created an unsettling atmosphere he had no intention of enjoying.

With each passing moment marked by the sound of thunder and the flashing lightning, he thought of the only person that could comfort him in that very moment— you.

He had been hesitant to call you after discovering his newfound problem that may be the little seed of doubt that had yet to be unsown, instilling a sense of hopelessness inside him. It was an inkling of pessimism that believed in his undismissable demise, too stubborn for him to rid himself of.

The keys dropped from his hand into the little dish beside the front door with a loud clank. He made his way over to the couch, plopping himself down as the weather outside expressed its rage through howling winds and rampant rain.

His phone slid out of his pocket the further he sunk into the piece of furniture, almost as if the world was urging him to call you. He wanted to oblige, he wanted to call but a little piece of him was afraid of the unknown. He couldn’t figure out what was irking him, something he believed would potentially severe his only lifeline.

His finger brushed up against the cold surface of the device, chuckling as he reminisced on the time you stuck little stickers by each button detailing what each did. He had the mind of a camera but he couldn’t seem to remember how to work a tool of the modern age.

Spencer jumped slightly right as the sound of the roaring thunder outside filled his living room. He was a grown man but he never really got over his fear of storms of any kind. The situation was made worse by the flickering of the lights above him, the indecisiveness of the bulbs eventually gave way when the lighting was abruptly stolen.

He sunk further into the faux leather under him, clutching the tiny black box close to his chest while he tried to work up the courage to call you. His finger migrated to your contact and hovered over it, a war of thoughts in his mind clouded his decision.

All the bad memories he thought he had gotten rid of started to flood him again.

He squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to wish away the dark just as he did as a child. Spencer itched to hear the monotonous ringing followed by the sound of your voice picking up the phone, he was just too afraid to make an objective decision.

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5,088 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #bye i’m dead #hotch’s ass

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