#I feel like I should/had a tag for magic related questions
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meanbossart · 7 months ago
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Ask Compilation: Blondes, feet, bowl-cut guardian lady.
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He did not, they never had sex. But he was in love with her.
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For sure. I think she struck him more like a teenager with the black hair and bangs, after the change (both visual and in attitude) she became a far more mature AND attractive person in his eyes.
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PFFT, well, if you're saying they meet ALL of the criteria, I assume you mean both in looks and personality and hence be damn near his soulmate. DU drow could overlook weird feet (and a lot of other things, actually) if he were in love with the person in question. He would probably gently request they take better care of them, though.
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Nothing special there, I'm afraid! He just has human-like skin - perhaps a little on the oily side but completely within the bounds of normality.
He runs a little hot, if that's anything. Oh! His hair is shockingly soft.
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Correct! DU drow only (arguably) looks like a drow. He doesn't have their usual bone structure, height, or associated magical proclivities. He has some dark vision but its nowhere near as good as a drow's either.
I don't necessarily think all Bhaalspawn are the same way, but the Dark Urge IS quite different from the previous game's iterations. DU isn't simply Bhaal's child conceived with a partner, he's a piece of the god that supposedly slobbed off and grew legs and a face, pretty much. So yes, I do think that the Dark Urge at least is it's own unique thing.
The reason why he looks like a drow, is because he was placed in the Underdark upon creation. The metaphor I always use here is that if you place something infantile in a biome that is alien to it, it may try to adapt to it's environment to survive as it develops, to different degrees of success. This is why DU drow looks the way he does.
[MORE UNDER THE CUT]
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You're welcome!
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I've received a few snippets here that you can find through the #gift art tag! There is also the fic I'm in the process of writing called A Novel Experience on AO3.
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It was just something I was compelled to do when I first drew him! The facial scars felt like they should lead into something else so I just made up a pattern on the spot, minus a tiny tweak here or there, it has stuck basically unchanged. All and any lore relating to the scars came later.
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I get a lot of sweet messages but "thanks for your man's penis size" has to be one of my favorites. Thank you!
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HELLO!
Thank you so much for the kind message! And that sounds like a fun dream, I love that your Tav got jealous of the attention ASTARION was receiving instead of mad that he had to share in the first place LOL
DU drow is desperately monogamous. He doesn't care what other people do with their lives but he's very much a "one and done" kind of person.
He would be willingly to participate in a threeway/have group sex with a partner, assuming the rules and regulations of said encounter were laid out clearly before or at least mutually understood between them. He would never want to see these people again after the fact though.
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She does not, naturally I had no idea that this character was going to turn into anything when i made him, so I just... Made a lady. And since she was supposed to be a "guardian" I gave her a Joan of Arc type of look.
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I've occasionally thought about changing this, but... Y'know, sometimes you don't need lore to be that in-depth, LOL.
The emperor gave everyone else a nondescript hottie he assumed they would trust, DU drow just got the same treatment. She's not even DU drow's type but definitely someone he would be compelled to take seriously yet not feel threatened by - so ultimately, her design does make sense.
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That's all I have the energy for tonight folks, as always thank you for the many encouraging and sweet messages you send me, I'm sorry I can't reply to all of them! 😭
Have yourselves a great week!
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angelwinkteruhashi · 7 months ago
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Hello there~!
:。・:*:・゚’★,。・:*:・゚’☆。・:*:・゚’★,。・:*:・゚’☆:
I'm Kokomi, It's a pleasure to meet all of you! I had heard this app was great for photography, so I decided to make an account! I hope I can get along with you all („• ᴗ •„)!
I'd love to get to know you all, so if you ever want to talk to me, please feel free to send in an ask! I'd love to hear your thoughts and questions (≧◡≦)!
:。・:*:・゚’★,。・:*:・゚’☆。・:*:・゚’★,。・:*:・゚’☆:
I don't have much to share, but here's a photo of the wonderful dessert I had today at Café Mami!
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The Strawberries and Blueberries paired nicely with the Syrup they used, and the Pancakes themselves were thin, yet fluffy! If you're ever in Hidari Wakibara, I completely recommend stopping by~!
:。・:*:・゚’★,。・:*:・゚’☆。・:*:・゚’★,。・:*:・゚’☆:
I can't wait to meet all of you~!
((OOC + Rules below the cut))
Howdy, I'm Gray (he/they)! I'll Try to keep this short since I don't like going out-of-character on rp blogs-
This is a Canon-Accurate (as much as I can be) blog for Teruhashi! It's also a bit of an excuse to get me better at writing her lol ^^'
Basic Rundown:
• This is a sideblog, I follow from @twosidedcherrytrees!
• I RP with anyone, even multiple blogs of the same Muse or someone from a completely different franchise! Just be sure to send me a DM beforehand if I havent reached out to you first lol-
• When I'm talking Out of Character, I'll do so like ((this))!
• Despite Teruhashi being from a show about Psychic abilities and reading people's mind, I don't write her inner thoughts as I view this as how she would interact with Tumblr if she was actually a real person. The only exception to this is if our RP involves talking and writing in 3rd person.
• Any Important tags will be featured in my blog's search function until I make a post specifically for tags (which will probably take a minute but I will keep you updated on when I do!)
• Any and all art I use are either free to use, from an anime, or is drawn by me! I have a strong stance against the use of AI and art theft, so if I ever make a mistake and post art that's either AI or made for noncommercial use, please don't hesitate to let me know!
Rules:
• Just as a warning- Teruhashi does have an older brother who is, in the show, romantically interested in her. She does not feel the same way in canon, nor does she here. Whenever anything related to that comes up, which I will only bring up if the person I'm RPing with does, I will be sure to tag appropriately. Please do not hesitate to block me if this makes you uncomfortable, as I completely understand why it would.
• I try my best to keep Teruhashi as accurate as possible, but I'm but a man and am likely going to make mistakes! In cases like that uh. Avert your eyes if I change entire points of posts cuz I made an oopsy lmao- I will just roll with it if I make a mistake like that during an active RP though, so don't worry about me changing my wording or even entire sentence mid-response!
• No NSFW at all, please! I'm an adult, but my Muse isn't. So nothing sexual. Flirting is okay but I should make it known that my current goal for Teruhashi is for her to realize she's Aroace and then come out as such.
• Any type of Homophobia, Transphobia, Ableism or Racism is not allowed here. If you're any of those, do not interact with me, thank you.
• Don't spam the same question over and over please! I appreciate your excitement but after a certain point it just seems draining for both parties lol
• Don't send any asks trying to push your own headcanons onto Teruhashi! You can definitely ask if she does something, and a solid 7/10 times I'll just incorporate it into my headcanons for her and go with it, but I'd prefer if they were not told to me like I have to follow them
• Magic Anons are allowed, but try to keep them from being too complicated! I don't typically do magic anons, so also be sure to tell me if I'm doing it wrong lmao
• You don't have to follow any specific plot-point that's currently going on in Teruhashi's blog! Any story beats with different Muns/Groups will be tagged as something different. As of now the only rp tag im using for that is #PK Academy AU , but if you don't want to follow those plot points let me know, and I'll use a different tag to differentiate the uh... timelines? Ig? The different RP plots
• If we're RPing together, I'd prefer if your character didn't somehow know everything there is to know about Teruhashi. Unless your character can actively read her mind, or has another canon reason for why they'd know her inner thoughts and feelings besides what she shows outwardly, please don't god-mod it (T v T). If your character does have a reason to know, please DM me to tell me!
• The previous rule does not apply to her immense beauty as honestly that doesn't seem fun to write or rp. Ignore that ability all you want lmao, honestly she needs people who won't see her for nothing but her looks.
• I'll try to match both how much you write and which way you RP. For instance, if you typically write in 3rd person and go a more general RP, I'll do the same! If you RP like your muse is a real user talking to someone on Tumblr, I'll do the same, too! Just be sure to let me know before-hand, either via DM or just starting the interaction lmao
Final notes:
I'm happy to be here and meet you all! I'm pretty new to the general ask blog etiquette, I've only really been on Pokéblr before, so let me know if I do anything rude on accident! With that, I hope we can all get along, and thank you for reading!
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f-oighear · 7 months ago
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Fanfic writer interview!
tagged by @ashenaura. Merci bien ! ;)
How many works do you have on AO3?
145.
Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:
I'll Follow
Where The Heart Is
Your World
Everything and More
Brittlest
(... yup, it's all SAU and those numbers will never not shock me)
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Of course. It might take me forever (my inbox is staring at me dead in the eyes), but I will respond. It means the world to me and if anyone makes the effort, they deserve a response. Easy.
What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
I need happy endings with my angst so... yeah. I think... Yesterday I died (tomorrow's bleeding) is quite sad.
What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
I guess the SAU has the happiest ending. Everything And More's last chapter is literally sunshine and calmness which, yk, is needed after the whole thing.
Do you write crossovers?
I've just gotten into it! I didn't see the hype before but um that was because I never tried to mash together the right verses I think. The Arkham Horror x Black Clover crossover is very dear to me.
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
*touching wood* Nope.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I've written steamy but never full smut. Well, I've written bits. But they're unpublished and I don't think I ever will publish them soooo yeah.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not to my knowledge, no.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes! Someone translated Her Most Precious Memories in Russian (Её самые драгоценные воспоминания).
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Just like crossovers, I'm just getting into it. And just like crossovers, I'm absolutely loving it.
@kalolasfantasyworld knows. We've written that Olympics Swimming one, Silver Scorching Interdimensional Slash: the Magical Medley Relay of Doom, and we're writing the most wonderful Formula for a Crush.
What’s your all-time favorite ship?
All time favorite... royai probably.
it's just the angst... it's just the sillies... it's just the war criminals... there's a dog... they're both so stupid... i love them...
What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
fhjfhds all of them. If I start a wip it's that I want to see it finished (because I want to read it). Sadly, I often don't have the motivation to. The wip list is ever growing.
What are your writing strengths?
Dialogue and internal monologues, I think.
What are your writing weaknesses?
Besides everything syntax and grammar-related because what even is English, I'd say description, especially of action scenes. It takes me forever to even dare put down a few words and I always feel like I'm describing like a 7yo would (no shade to 7yo but surely with 20 more years on this planet I should be able to do better).
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
I did it in Formula for a Crush for Vanessa and Helena because Helena typically does it so it felt normal to As long as it's one word or one expression I don't really mind. (my Italian is non-existent and my Spanish is uhhh not good so, there's that.).
In my own work, I prefer to keep it in English and italicize. Less risk to completely fumble a whole language.
(I just realized that Zora doesn't even utter one word in French in FFAC and I'm French [I dare think I can speak and write the language relatively well]. so it's less down to messing up a language than personal preferences in writing ig..? I never really thought about it.)
What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?
Nothing comes to mind. Rarepair Week was a great occasion to tick some of these boxes too.
What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
I've had this question ten thousand times and I think I reply differently every time dhjfdjskj. It's a tough one.
Right now I'm having a lot of fun with Formula for a Crush (nah, you can't tell with how much I'm talking about it).
what even is football anyway will always be very dear to me and I'll probably say it's this one.
Blue Hours (and its sequel, I might even like the sequel more simply for the rant about the dishes) is special because I loved the concept and I experienced a bit with the narration.
Thicker Than Blood because it's a longer one and it was a really non-pressure kind of fic (I expected no one to read it so I really had fun)
Yesterday I died (tomorrow's bleeding) and posing questions to a silent universe (my very thoughts a curse) for some nice Mia angst.
Lost in a storm, It’s a big office, chief, for some nice Phoenix angst.
Tell Me About Cruelty means a lot to me.
(you might realize: I cannot choose. I'm looking at the 145 fics and I'm like. they're all special to me in some way. even those I wish I could erase from the face of the earth I'm like. I like that line, that scene, that hug. it's terrible and it's wonderful.)
--
tagging (no pressure, do it if you want) @kalolasfantasyworld (because ofc I'm tagging you), @wildflowerwoodsworld
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sailtomarina · 3 months ago
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First Line Tag Game
Thank so much for the tag, @so-scarlett-maroon! You can see hers here.
Rules are: post the first line(s) from the last 10 fics you've updated or posted (or however many fics you have, if less than 10).
It's been a while since I last did this, so, without further ado:
Shed Your Skin (Narcissa/Antonin, 46/?, WIP)
On the day that they first met, a brisk wind blustered across the open space outside Hogwarts’ doors where the thestral-drawn carriages had just dropped them off.
From My Garden to Yours (Pansy/Neville, 7/?, collection of OS flashfics)
To be fair, they weren’t really trying to hide their relationship–they just didn’t go out of their way to announce it.
Take It, Or Leave It (Alice & Molly, Bellatrix, 1.4K, OS
They’d been walking for much longer than she’d been promised.
Need You So Bad, Magic Woman (Neville/Narcissa, 17.8K, 6/6)
Neville wished, with all of his being, that his parents could see him now.
Terms for Mutual Benefit (Ginny/Pansy, 1.2K, OS)
The question made complete sense to her. As far as Ginny was concerned, it was the responsibility of any time-traveller to not only remedy mistakes of the past, but to also take steps to ensure personal success upon returning to the original timeline.
A Mother Always Knows (Fred/Hermione, 1.9K, OS)
The owl arrived that morning while they took their breakfast.
Marina Dreams of Dramione (Draco/Hermione, 87/?, collection of OS flashfics)
Hermione stuttered to a halt as soon as she saw the empty mug that not five minutes prior held the most precious substance in existence: a dirty chai latte with a generous swirl of cinnamon-dusted whip cream.
A Dance of Quaffles and Ferrets (Draco/Ginny, 5.5K, OS)
Perched where she was at the midfield line, Ginny watched as bodies flew to and fro across the pitch.
Like Sunshine (Pansy/Neville, 4.9K, OS)
New wand, warm to the touch. New robes, fitted to his frame. Eyes, where once there was only dismissal. He knows he should be grateful for this second chance, but all Neville feels is out of place. He’s always felt out of place.
Third Time's the Christmas Charm (Charlie/Hermione, 7.9K, OS)
If Hermione had to reprimand one more customer for leaving their drinks and empty ice cream cups on her bookshelves, she was going to explode.
---
I don't notice any particular pattern to my opening lines...unless I'm missing something completely obvious. I do intentionally avoid starting with dialogue as much as possible and, for the most part, write in third-person and past tense.
Using Hermione as my default FMC is also a preference that hasn't changed since I first started writing HP fanfiction a couple of years ago; she's simply always been the one I most easily relate to. I have been branching out more lately to Pansy, Narcissa, and Lavender, not to mention the various MMCs I always gravitate to.
If you see this, consider yourself tagged! I'll also include @thetacowrites, @ragana62, @justtluffythings, @rottenherbs, and @obsessedwithceleste
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mrfancyfoot · 8 months ago
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Plots & Prosody: Prompts
Raphael x Evie (f!OC)
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- A Gift of Heart-
"To a devil, gifting the heart of your enemy (for free, no less!) is practically a confession of love.
Evie contemplates getting a spray bottle to spritz her murderous cat of a devil friend."
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Happy Halloween! This prompt is slightly thematic for the holiday (in a, uh, horror kind of way - sort of. More along the lines of Addams Family kind of "horror"). 😈
Did not quite succeed in getting both prompts out for October, but I should have my Kinktober prompt out very soon (and unlike this one, I have spent far more time on it than two sleep deprived nights). :)
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Rating: M / NSFW-ish
Word Count: ~1.2k
Timeline: Plots & Prosody, Part II - Canon
Tags: POV Evie; She/Her Pronouns; Raphael Referenced; Housemate Astarion; (Dark) Humor; ...Fluff?; Dark Romance; Evie is a Bit Socially/Romantically Naive; Some Mutual Pining; Devil Courtship; The Devil is Smitten; Raphael probably off strutting around like a tom cat so proud of himself
Warnings: Gore (Dismembered Body Parts...As Gifts); Referenced Murder; Implied Eating of one such part (Astarion); Evie has found herself a surprising degree of okay with most of this
Main Fic (Rated E/Varied): AO3 + Tumblr | Master List (contains related prompts)
[Quick Context: After being isekai'd by the nautiloid, Evie spends most of Plots & Prosody Part I (Game Events) “befriending the devil,” yet denying him her soul.  Once things settle after game events, Evie goes about her new life kick-starting her business and re-inventing modern-day things. She remains oblivious to Raphael's attempts at courting her and chalks many of his more questionable behaviors up to cultural differences.]
Part of my devil courtship series.
❤️ Thanks for reading! :3 ❤️
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Being friends with a devil was very akin to being friends with a particularly mischievous, deadly cat.  A cat that sometimes left little unsettling gifts in the middle of her dining room table to show its fondness.
It was mid-morning when she woke and readied enough to drag herself downstairs for breakfast.  The glint of shiny, gaudy wrapping paper had been quick to catch her eye.  The ribboned cube was about the size of a hat box and she recognised who it was from upon sight for Raphael had a set of preferences and this was far from being the first.  Crimson paper, gold ribbon, occasionally switched up when he was feeling extra pretentious with gold paper and crimson ribbon or with a navy accent.
As his cherished, self-appointed best, and only, friend - though he was certainly putting effort into getting her to agree to the forever ‘forever’ part - the word that came to mind for this behavior was ‘lavish.’  Raphael had begun to lavish her with gifts.
Exotic spices, rare books, furs with magical properties, trinkets from his travels, fine clothing, expensive jewelry.
Which wasn’t at all what she had expected several months ago.  Her goal with ‘befriending the devil’ had started out as purely self-preservation as a means to stay on his good side if he was as adamant about getting her soul as he claimed.  Perhaps they’d occasionally have tea and trade book recommendations, catch a play at the theatre...  Actually succeeding was not something she had foreseen.
But though she insisted that he didn’t have to gift her anything, let alone such finery, he insisted that he did.  His friend had a place of high honor in his life that deserved it.  And to show that he could - protecting and spoiling her these ways was another display of his power and status.
Those were the innocuous gifts, at least comparatively - she wasn’t sure she wanted to know where they all may have come from.  The gifted body parts were…less so.
A behavior that she was still parsing.  Being friends with a powerful devil meant having to make some concessions and strive to understand their culture.
She supposed it was how he showed he cared.
At least he wasn’t yet leaving her half dead things to tell her that her own skills needed honing.
Evie thumbed the bow of the pretty, sleek ribbon and slipped the tiny card out from under it.  The back was signed with a simple, scripted initial R.  It carried his distinctive, warm scent that she took in fondly.
He never wanted there to be any question as to who the gifts came from.
“Ooo, another present, I see.  Isn’t that the second this tenday?”  Having come from his own room, Astarion sidled up beside her and gleefully peered over her shoulder.  “Now, what do you suppose is hidden within this one?  More jewelry to match?  A nice set of ears?  Oh, I know!  A stunning pair of earrings still attached to the lobes.  Do hurry up, I’m dying of anticipation!”  He giggled to himself.  Earlier this week was an enchanted bracelet.  Not attached to anything.
His question was somewhat rhetorical given his heightened sense of smell, so he would at least know if it was ‘organic’ or not.
“Hmm.”  She lifted the box and gave it a gentle shake.  “It has an odd weight.  Bit more oomph to it than I would have thought.  So…I’mma say some unlucky soul has been relinquished of…something.”
Guessing the contents had become somewhat of a game between them.  
Evie pulled at the ribbon and flipped the top off the box.
She leaned over the box and squinted, her head tilting.
A heart.
Lovingly nestled within tissue paper splattered with still-wet blood.
Astarion bent closer and she heard him inhale deeply.  “Oh, my.  A bit engorged but it does look delicious, darling.”  He stepped aside and scanned her, asking, “Did something happen?  I cannot wait to find out which poor sap crossed you the wrong way to deserve this.”  As though he didn’t also contemplate the same thing.  There was once a time that he bemoaned Raphael ‘beating’ him to dealing with certain problems.  It was a cute little rivalry between her bloodthirsty gremlins.
She would like to say that it bothered her, but trying to keep her workers safe was such an immense burden with how troubled and unsafe the Gate was, especially at night and especially in the Lower City.  Thugs, sharks, drunkards…dandy nobles able to bribe guards and magistrates to get their way.  She could fend for herself, but many of her women and younger employees couldn’t.  With her hired security only able to do so much above water if the proper authorities refused to act, it was little skin off her nose for the lowest of scum to find their way to the Hells.
“No, nothing comes to mind for this one.”  She sighed, a wry smile pulling at her lips.  “You can have it if you don’t drool on me, Asta.  Please put it on ice if you don’t plan to do anything with it right now, though.”
He snagged the box with an eager, ‘Don’t mind if I do.’ and walked off, disappearing down the hall.
She’d have to dispose of it anyhow so having a vampire housemate made that easy.
Hopefully the authorities wouldn’t come pounding on their door after finding a body - if there even was one - but she feared if Raphael kept threatening and picking off her enemies and those who had done her wrong, someone out there was bound to make the connection back to her as a common denominator.
A drunken fishmonger had mysteriously lost some fingers after inappropriately grabbing her and finding himself thrown into the bay.
A set of eyeballs from a disgustingly lustful trio of gangsters thinking they’d cornered her in an alley near her warehouse.  She had dealt with them, as well, but apparently Raphael felt more needed to be done.
The tongue of who had once been her daily catcaller on her way to work.
Occasionally, Raphael felt the need to posture and share the origins of such offerings, though often it was a few days or even weeks until they learned who the bits came from.
Raphael had once shared the deplorable things a visiting noble had said of her to him while at a gala.  Decorative beads had been made from his bones and Raphael was having them sewn into a dress for her to wear to an upcoming event in the Hells.
He, of course, would never dirty his own hands within the Material Plane, but he had plenty of agents and those in his debt to carry out his orders.
As this one had not been handed to her, it was more likely that they’d be hearing of the potential cause and prior owner at some point from the news or street gossip mill.
As amusing as it was to imagine spraying the devil with water in the same way one would attempt to alter the behaviors of a cat, she doubted it would be so simple.  But, thinking like a devil, maybe she would have more luck getting him to cease the morbid gifts from the angle of conveying that she felt insulted by the assumption that she could not or was not handling these things properly herself.
Her stomach rumbled and she decided to think on it more after breakfast. She palmed the tiny gift card and made her way to the kitchen.
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syscourse-shmiscourse · 23 days ago
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Not syscourse but a Deaf Culture question (I assume you are Deaf given you’ve spoken on the issue — if you are not feel free to disregard) - and sorry if it’s a dumb one lol.
So I don’t know if you saw my brief reply to the amity situation where I very briefly explained the whole gorillas don’t understand sign in any capacity at all thing (I do genuinely recommend the video I linked, I don’t remember if it had subtitles though) but as I mentioned in that post, I often refer to myself as Deaf adjacent when discussing related topics / issues (when relevant obviously I don’t just go around announcing it) because I have multiple Deaf friends and Family members and have been involved at least in passing with the community for going on 4 years now. I’m also “conversational” in ASL if that changes anything.
Is this okay in your opinion? I would ask my friends/family but obviously they like.. like me, so they’re a little biased here lol. If not, what should I say instead?
I by no means use that label to talk over people, just to sort of explain why I know as much as I do so that people don’t just assume I’m just Saying Things to say them (as people on the internet are one to do)
And obviously I know you’re not the magical arbiter of Deafness but you are an unbiased third party for my question haha
Have a lovely night!
(Did you know you can’t italicize things in asks? Because I didn’t until just now)
Hello! I'm sorry it took so long to get to this, I wanted to give it my full attention.
I'd like to clarify that we are NOT Deaf. We grew up with and have many connections with the Deaf community, but the body is hearing. But that's part of why I commented: Sign Languages aren't just for the Deaf. There are many, many reasons to sign.
In our personal experience, our mother raised us on it because, at the time, she was studying to be an interpreter. ASL is as much a native language for us as English (although we've lost some fluency because it's hard to practice without other people). Eventually my youngest sibling was born. He has Down's Syndrome and was fully nonverbal until around 7-8 so it was used daily in our family (along with AAC) to communicate with him (and each other). Even later, after we discovered the system, we had a mute alter who needed ASL to communicate whenever he fronted.
With this in mind I unfortunately can't answer your question, I apologize! My immediate knee-jerk reaction was "that sounds fine" but personally I'd use it to quickly describe my pretty severe auditory processing disorder instead ^^; I'm sorry I can't help but if you ever find an answer, I'd genuinely like to know! I'll toss a few Deaf tags in there in case anyone in the community is willing to answer. I also didn't know you can't italicize in asks. That feels like a tumblr crime :(
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nerdieforpedro · 1 year ago
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Weekend Update 05/19/2024
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Three weeks in a row. I should play the lottery, I might hit for some big money!
Nerdie, please. We think it’s fine that you play the lottery, but have you done much this week?
I will have you know, that I worked three 12 hour shifts in a row, one of which I was the charge nurse. Something I’ve never done before and only had a 4 hour class once. The person that was supposed to be training me was not there so I just did trial by fire. I also worked this weekend. 
Though the highlight of the week was Friday night!
What? You had a hot date? Good for you!
Huh? This is Nerdie you’re talking about, no. Not at all what happened. I got to see Hozier live in a concert! It was wonderful! I might still be singing all the songs, have played them for my coworkers and that one guy whose room I was in for 30 minutes getting him cleaned up and bed changed should know a fair bit of “Almost (Sweet Music)” and “Something New.” I think I also had a brunch with my family this week somewhere in there.
We have so many questions…did that man even know what you were singing? Is he now a fan? How was brunch? How did you even find out about the concert? Why wasn’t that the first thing you said?
Sometimes you gotta bury the lead. Brunch was with mama Nerdie and two of Nerdie’s brothers. I have three total. I’m the only girl. The concert was magical, I’m trying to figure out something for September but it’s likely sold out. I think I really lucked out last Friday. 
Nerdie, do you have anything fanfic related? We’re happy to know you’re doing well. We wonder sometimes, but you know, this is Tumblr.
This week will be a bit different. I did a lot of reading last week but this week, I didn’t read much of anything except beta reading for a couple people. So Nerdie will highlight some series she thinks you should peek at:
Symphony by @maggiemayhemnj (A wonderful series featuring Joel - who is having a moment with his new hair by the way. I did notice, how could one not? Has Joel and a female OFC in post outbreak Jackson.) Fun fact - one of my patients called me symphony so it’s going to be one of my many aliases now.
If Wishes Came True by @schnarfer (A Dieter Bravo trilogy. Our beloved trash panda is many things and has many expressions, some not so great. Can it turn into something worthwhile?)
Headshots by @secretelephanttattoo (Marcus Pike - being the sweet man that he is. The OFC is a photographer. Love blooms. It will give you warm fuzzies and you’ll sniffle. It’s totally fine to do so.)
Bloody Kisses by @perotovar (Shane Morrissey and Tim rockford are the combo I was not aware I needed and now I think about them. The longing, the realization, the understanding, the build up, and the growing pains. Just read it and you’ll get it.)
IRL by @grogusmum (A sweet Javi G fic. You and Javi have been chatting about your shared interest in movies and sparks fly. So much so that you fly to see him in person. How does that go? Read and find out.)
These are five series I’ve read, loved and will read again because I enjoy them. I hope you all do too. 
I believe I did post a Dieter one shot for the Dieter Bravo Brain Rot May challenge about aliens. 
Also @fhatbhabiee back! 💖💖
I was tagged by people for WIP Wednesday through Saturday so I’ll do something from my not titled Pero x Dragon fic (look - it was a thought I had and it morphed into this but it’s dialogue):
Darkness is beginning to take him as is the cold. Pero cannot feel his limbs nor tell if he’s moving them. “Hmmpf, you care nothing of your life? Just to let it slip away like this. You appeared to be a warrior of some sort. Do all human warriors lay on their belly and wait for their final breath? Such a pity.” This voice, such torture before death to be mocked like this, couldn’t he have died in battle?  “I’m already in hell only hearing this voice before I die. Goddammit.” The mercenary laments.  “Are all humans fools like this? Why will you not heed my words? I am not trying to reach you for simple vexation.” “Stop with your flowery words then. Say what you actually need. I’m not going to listen to you the entire time before I leave this earth.”
Pero is the type to curse and argue with demons, angels, monsters and Gods if it means he has the last word. I stand by this. Contrary to what this conversation reads like, Pero does not die. His fate could be worse than death, we’ll have to see. 👀
The Peeps who maybe tagged me? @tinytinymenace @connectioneverywhere @magpiepills @604to647 @djarinmuse
@megamindsecretlair and @for-a-longlongtime There are either people I missed or people who didn't tag me. My bad either way. 🤣
I’ve also been toying with which series between my Marcus therapy series and my sweet Javi P series to start posting on Tumblr. I’m not sure which one. Everyone one’s welcome to ask me questions about any of these WIPs, just know I may not stop talking about them like most fic writers. 
I think I do dialogue well in my fics, and wacky ideas, but I could use work on world building, smut, descriptions and other things. I think. Who knows, I'm just going to keep wiring and we'll see what happens.
Stay safe and hydrated everyone!
Love Nerdie!
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pagan-source · 6 months ago
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✧⁺₊⋆☽ Navigation ☾⋆⁺₊✧
FAQ | Taglist | Important Notes | For Beginners Affiliated with The Coven Network Last Updated Feb. 24th, 2025
✧⁺₊⋆☽ Welcome ☾⋆⁺₊✧
This blog is for all pagan-related resources, including (but not limited to) spell work, herbs, cleansing and protection, mythology, working with Fae, divination (runes, tarot, pendulums, osteomancy, etc.) and more. Feel free to ask questions, send me a DM, or send in any posts that you think are interesting. Please read the disclaimer section before interacting. The deities I currently work with are Loki, Thor, and Apollo. Considering working with Freyja and Fenrir. Previously worked with Odin.
✧⁺₊⋆☽ About the Mod ☾⋆⁺₊✧
You can call me Ash! I'm nearing my 30s, I go by he/him or they/them pronouns and I'm a solitary, polytheistic, eclectic practitioner. I'm a Virgo sun with Cancer moon & rising. I've been individually practicing since I was about eleven years old (in the practice for 17+ years); I was raised Christian, became Wiccan, and then moved into Norse Paganism. I'm mostly Lokean, but I've also worked with other Norse deities, within the Greek pantheon, and I've also called upon the Archangels Michael and Gabriel in my practice before. The divination tools I frequently use are Tarot, runes, and my pendulum (Tiger's Eye). For Astrology purposes, I'm a Virgo with a Cancer moon. I've had my fair share of spiritual experiences, including a few with Fae creatures and spirits (whether you believe these or not is your own opinion — I'm not here to argue with you about what I've personally experienced). I created this blog to keep track of my growth and changes in my practice, to share my experiences with those who are curious, and to utilize this space as my own online grimoire. Additionally, I would like to help any "baby witches" (those who are new to the practice) with the knowledge that I've gathered over the years, so hopefully this provides a safe space for them to grow in their abilities as well. Please be patient with me as I'm still learning various terminology, sub-branches of Paganism, etc.
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The mod is not an expert and will not be held responsible for whatever choices you make, spells you cast, etc. Please use your own discernment, protection(s), do your own research, follow your intuition, and always practice "mundane before magic" (meaning, not everything warrants the use of magic). Please be aware that you may come across potentially triggering content, such as osteomancy (using animal bones for divination), blood offerings, etc. They will be tagged accordingly ('tw osteomancy', 'tw blood', etc.) — please block any tags that make you uncomfortable, as you are responsible for the media you consume. If you see some information that's incorrect, please feel free to message me and politely tell me (and include any sources, if you can). Remember that some information isn't actually "incorrect," as it relates to individual practices and beliefs (such as whether you should blow out a candle after casting your intentions). Please keep it respectful — I don't tolerate hate or discrimination of any kind, religion bashing or debates, etc. You will be reported and/or blocked immediately.
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verai-marcel · 1 year ago
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Your Hearth Is My Home (BG3 Fanfic, Astarion x Female Reader, Part 19 of ?)
Summary, Notes, Tags, & Part 1 are here.
Act I - Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12
Act II - Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18
AO3 Link is here, darling.
Word Count: 3,707
---------------------------------------
Act II, Chapter 7 - The Gauntlet
Even after he confessed, you realized that Astarion was still, well, Astarion. His feelings, though out in the open, were still a confused mess. If you were to describe it visually, it was a tangled ball of string; most of the strands felt like fondness, while there were a few threads that hummed with anxiety intertwined with lust. As if he felt bad for wanting you in such a way.
Not going to unpack that for now. It’s all too tightly wound together. I’ll let him unravel a bit more before I broach that topic.
On your end, you believed your feelings were pretty straightforward. You cared for him. You enjoyed spending time with him. Just the skinship, touching him, being touched, and sensing that feeling of him enjoying your company, without any ulterior motives, was incredible for you.
You imagined that other couples after confessing their feelings would be flinging their clothes off and having intimate relations in a secluded corner of their own little world.
Instead, you and Astarion were sitting by the campfire, your right arm linked with his left, the two of you reading quietly together.
“Is… is this alright?” he asked tentatively.
You looked up at him and smiled. “Yes, this is perfect.”
He leaned his head against yours. “I feel the same.”
Through your skin contact, however, you felt a slight twinge of guilt from him. Shit, if I say something now, he’s going to start questioning why I always know how he feels…
So you let it go, and just snuggled against him as he continued to read his book.
You had borrowed one of his books just so you could sit like this and spend some quiet time with him. You had few books of your own and you had read through them all at least twice. The book you had borrowed was some kind of adventure novel that featured a drow ranger.
Astarion glanced over at the page you were on. “Oh, you’re coming up to a good part.”
“Hush!” you chided. “No spoilers.”
“You two are being awfully cuddly.”
You both turned around to see Karlach smirking triumphantly.
“You snuck past my alarm on purpose,” you said accusingly.
She grinned. “Of course I did. Otherwise I would have missed this,” she said, pointing at your linked arms.
You could feel Astarion trying to pull away, but you only linked your arms tighter. “So? What of it?”
“Just glad to see you two finally out in the open,” Karlach said. Leaning in, she whispered to the two of you, though it was loud enough for others to hear, “Unlike another couple I know.”
You snorted, and Astarion grinned knowingly.
Looking past Karlach to see the others coming closer, you realized that you probably should do your job. “Alright, guess I’d better get food started.”
***
You were most certainly feeling better. After spending half the day quietly with Astarion, you felt like the pool of magic within you had almost refilled to full. You happily sang the tent cantrips while your rice porridge with herbs and dried mushrooms bubbled in the stew pot.
During the meal, your companions told you about their adventures, about how they met Balthazar, about how they discovered and solved three puzzle rooms, and about how tomorrow they would explore the rest of the lower levels.
“We’ll probably run into the devil down there,” Wyll mused. “We hadn’t seen any signs of it yet.”
“So perhaps all of you should go,” you said. At their shocked looks, you waved off their concern. “My magic has come back, and nothing came by today, not even a rat. Besides, Scratch and Owly can help defend the camp if anything happens.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, yes, I’ll be fine. I’m more worried about what you lot will run into down in the lower levels, given what you’ve told me.”
Lae’zel nodded. “Then I will train you more tonight, so that we may leave you tomorrow without concern.”
Oh boy. I’m going to be sore tonight.
***
You barely had the energy to change into your sleeping clothes. Falling into your bedroll, exhausted from Lae’zel’s training, you closed your eyes and groaned from your sore muscles. My gods. I cannot wait to fall asleep.
The soft footsteps of a certain elf drew your attention. Looking up, you watched Astarion kneel down beside you. 
“Darling, you’re not thinking of staying out here, are you?”
“Too tired to think.”
He sighed dramatically. “But I confessed my heart and soul to you today. You will come to my tent, won’t you?”
Dragging yourself up, you grabbed your bedroll. “Haven’t had enough of my company?”
“Never, darling.”
You grinned as you walked with him to his tent. “Never say never,” you teased.
He held the tent flap open for you like a gentleman, ushering you inside. Laying your bedroll alongside his, you flopped down ungracefully. “Now if you’ll excuse me, Lae’zel put me through a thousand paces, so I need to rest.”
He chuckled as he lay beside you. “Did you sing?”
You blinked. “Oh. No, I forgot.”
“Hmm. Try it next time.”
“Alright. Sweet dreams, Astarion.”
He leaned over and pressed his forehead to yours. 
I’m going to get addicted to this warm fondness I’m feeling from him.
“Did you know that elves don’t usually dream?”
“Oh?”
“Dreams are… chaotic, uncontrollable. Memories are bad enough,” he murmured.
You touched his face, stroking his cheek. “I’m sorry.”
“Why? You’ve only given me good memories so far. Well, except for when you got hurt.” He frowned. “So don’t do that again.”
You smiled. “Alright, I’ll try.”
He sighed. “Good enough, I suppose.” Reaching out for you, he pulled you close. “Sweet dreams, darling.”
You closed your eyes, and inhaled his unique scent, rosemary, bergamot, and a touch of brandy.
***
You awoke, cold and alone. Quickly getting up and changing, you saw that everyone was already getting their things together for the day’s exploration. Walking up to Astarion, you tapped his side with the back of your hand. 
“You didn’t wake me up?”
“You were sleeping so soundly, darling. I’m not a monster.”
You rolled your eyes. 
“Besides, Gale apparently wanted a chance to cook.”
“Shhh!” Gale hissed.
You glanced over at the stew pot. Seeing it mostly empty, you walked over and scraped what was left of the breakfast soup into a small bowl and sipped it. It was a delightful mix of spices and savory flavor, shreds of dried beef jerky mixed with some lentils and beans.
“This is amazing,” you muttered jealously. “Gale, give me the recipe when you come back!”
“What, and divulge my secrets?”
“Just do it,” Shadowheart said with a laugh, slapping him on the arm.
You chugged the rest of the soup and gathered all the dirty items for cleaning later. Just as everyone was ready to go, you headed to the entryway with them to wish them well. Astarion waited for everyone else to go past before he quickly pulled you in for a hug.
“Stay safe,” he murmured into your ear.
“You too,” you replied before the two of you pressed foreheads.
“We don’t have all day!” Karlach yelled gleefully.
Astarion just huffed and left with the rest of them, but not before giving you one last look.
You waved and smiled. Come back safe.
***
It was a long day and a half by yourself. You started counting the hours after you realized a full day had passed. You went up to Withers to check if they were all still alive, and he always nodded solemnly, with no other updates. So you just read books and cleaned and played with Scratch and Owly. You danced and practiced your cantrips for hours at a time. You slept in Astarion’s tent, rolling onto his bedroll and immersing yourself in his scent.
Am I being weird? It’s definitely weird. But… It makes me feel comfortable.
And they still had not returned. It was times like these where you wondered about the possibility of joining them on their adventures.
But then you remembered that you hated pain, and you had nowhere near enough battle experience to survive alongside them without being a hindrance.
Better to stay behind and tend camp. After all, if not me, then who will? Withers? Hah.
Wandering to the edge of the balcony overlooking the statue of Shar and seeing all the water below, you sang a song to coax a stream of water up to your level, filling up a few basins with water. Finding an empty barrel amongst the rubble, you plugged the holes with some clay and filled that up as well. But when you tried to move the barrel filled with water, it barely shifted.
You glared at it.
Move, damn you!
Your song became a chant, the tempo faster and stronger than you normally sang. 
The barrel hopped two feet closer.
Oh?
You continued to chant, almost like a war hymn as you led the barrel away from the edge of the balcony, but after a few hops, you felt drained.
Okay, we’re going to stop there.
You looked through the pile of loot that the companions had dropped off the previous night and found enough rags and scruffy clothes that you could fashion a sort of curtain, hung by some old spear handles that you formed into a three sided divider screen, with the backside open to the view of the balcony. There was space to stand next to the barrel and still be hidden from view.
Well, that’s good enough, I think.
You went back to your pack and grabbed your soap bar and one of the water basins. Singing a hot water rune into existence, you heated the water in the basin, took your clothes off, and scrubbed yourself clean. After rinsing yourself off, you heated the water in the barrel before awkwardly climbing inside.
Damn, I should have made a seat in here.
Instead, you squatted down and let the hot water cover your head. Closing your eyes, you let the heat relax your body for a good ten seconds before you came back up for air. Grabbing the basin and emptying the water out of it, you pushed it under you and sat on it precariously, slowly leaning back until you felt balanced.
You let out a sigh of relief. It worked. Now you had a nice hot bath in the privacy of a little makeshift divider screen, and the others could take some time to relax as well when they came back.
If they come back.
Shaking the dark thought from your mind, you submerged yourself again and held your breath for as long as you could. It was only for 25 seconds, but when you came back out, you could faintly hear the alarm bells on your belt, hung over the divider.
Is it them? Or is it something else…?
Your heart raced at the thought of being naked while intruders came upon your camp.
I don’t hear Owly or Scratch.
A few more moments passed as you listened to footsteps echoing in the cavern. Then you finally heard your name being called. 
Oh, thank goodness. “Over here!” you called out.
As you heard them walk over, you quickly realized that if they came around the screen, they’d see you naked. “Wait wait wait! Let me get my clothes on!” Quickly drying yourself with a towel for once and throwing your dress on, you came out to see them looking bloodied and exhausted.
“You look freshly washed,” Shadowheart said, the longing for a bath evident in her voice.
You grinned. “You can too, shortly. Come, come!” You showed everyone the bath set up, watching their expressions growing relieved that they could have a warm bath even in this darkened place.
“I’ll get food going,” you said as everyone else played rock-paper-scissors for who would go first in the bath.
You quickly threw together some cured meats and cheese together as an appetizer before putting some ingredients in the pot for a hearty stew, inspired by Gale’s meal yesterday morning. In a separate, smaller pot, you cooked some rice to go with it.
You tucked your wet hair behind your ears as you worked, and once you were done, you put your hands over your head and sang a quick drying cantrip that gently drew the water away without taking out too much moisture. If there was one thing you were a bit vain about, it was your hair, and you took good care of it.
The soft footsteps behind you seemed tentative, yet the cadence sounded familiar. He stopped directly behind you and gently grasped your shoulders.
“Welcome back, Astarion.”
He only hummed softly, one hand moving your hair to one side before dipping his head down to nuzzle your neck.
“You want supper now, or later?”
Astarion took a deep breath, inhaling your scent. “Later, darling, when we’re alone.”
Your body reacted instantly to his lowered tone, but you quickly tamped down on it. You knew he had felt your rush of blood when his grip on your shoulders tightened just a little bit.
You turned and looked up at him, but he only had a soft expression as he looked at you. Reaching out and cupping his face, you searched his emotions as he leaned into your touch. You could feel mostly contentment with a strand of anxiety weaved within.
He finally backed away from you. “Until tonight, then.”
Dammit. I wish I could help him with his anxiety.
During supper, everyone took turns describing the battle with the devil to you. It was a very hectic fight, and it sounded like everyone was pushed to their limits. But their teamwork and their communication had grown so much that they pulled through in the end and defeated him. 
“We even got Astarion to graciously say thank you,” Wyll joked.
Glancing over at him, you saw that he was looking a bit grumpy at being reminded about it. You snickered softly.
They continued to tell you about the rest of their adventure, and how they were feeling exhausted by the time they had finished exploring all of the rooms and gathering all of the orbs needed to activate the final elevator that would take them down to what they believed would be the final level of the Gauntlet.
“Tomorrow, we’ll end this,” Shadowheart said with determination. 
With supper completed, everyone broke off to relax and turn in for the night. Astarion turned to you. 
“I’ll go have a bath. See you in our tent, lover.”
Our? “Alright. Do you want me to make the water hotter for you?”
“Let’s go test it, shall we?”
Heading over to the bath with you, he dipped his hand into the water. “Seems adequate.”
You looked at him, an eyebrow raised. “But not perfect.”
“If you could…”
“Easy,” you said with confidence before singing a hotter water rune. Once it took hold, steam came out of the water. Turning around at the sound of shuffling clothing, you realized that Astarion was already stripping behind you.
“Astarion!” you gasped as you turned back around.
“You’ve seen all of me already, darling.”
That was only a glance, and it was in the middle of the inn. That doesn’t count. “Anyway I’m going back now byeeee,” you said in a rush as you nearly ran from him. His laughter followed you all the way back to the tent.
It was still a bit surreal to you, having your bedroll in his tent. You laid down and stared at the canopy, the red and gold fabric looking a bit dull in the dim light of your cantrip.
He won't mind if I do this, right? I wonder…
You sat up, put your hands up in the air, and sang.
Moonbeams and starlight,
Paint the sky above me,
Light up before my eyes,
A sparkly sight to see.
The fabric glittered for a moment then darkened, and pinpricks of light began to form in the darkness. You gestured with your hands purposely through the air as if you were weaving, and lights of different strengths and sizes, with different tints of color, populated the ‘sky’ you had created. You even created a full moon so that there was still enough light for you to see, but not too glaring.
Satisfied with your work, you lay back and stared up, feeling much less claustrophobic.
Astarion came in, shirtless and hair wet, with a seductive expression on his face, but then he looked up, and his expression changed to that of innocent wonder. To you, it was a much more attractive look on him. 
His eyes were round with amazement as he looked at the ceiling. “This is… beautiful.” He sat down next to you and smiled. “You completely distracted me from my plan.”
“And what plan was that?”
“Convince you to dry and brush my hair for me.”
You snickered. “You only need to ask, no need for a plan.”
He gave you a smarmy smirk. “But if you offered it freely, I wouldn’t need to ask.”
Rolling your eyes, you sat up and gestured for him to sit in front of you. Getting up onto your knees, you sang your hair drying cantrip slowly, since his hair was finer and more delicate than yours. Then you gently brushed his hair, first with your fingers, then with his brush.
“Gods, your touch feels so good,” he murmured.
That line, in another context, would have made your face heat up. Even now, you swallowed, your throat suddenly dry. “Glad you feel relaxed,” you mumbled, trying to push down any naughty thoughts.
He turned and took the brush from your hand. Slowly he ran his fingers up your bare arms, his eyes gazing at your body.
“Astarion?” you whispered.
Moving closer, he cupped your cheek. “You promised me supper, didn’t you?”
You nodded and tipped your head, exposing your neck.
Astarion leaned forward and licked your pulse. “Such an enticing treat,” he purred before he sank his teeth into your neck. With one hand gripping the back of your head, the other snaked around your backside and pulled you close, his body lining up with yours. You could feel the hard lines of his chest against your soft bosom, his muscled thigh resting between your legs.
You gasped softly as your hips moved on their own, searching for friction against him. But somewhere along the way, you realized that you had stopped feeling his emotions. Even with his fangs deep in your neck, you only felt the sting of your own flesh.
“Astarion—”
He released you from his bite, languidly licking your wound before he pulled back to look at you. Letting go of your head, he grabbed your bottom with both hands and pulled you harder against him. He buried his face into the crook of your neck and nibbled at your collarbone.
“Darling,” he rumbled against your skin, “does this feel good?” His hands traveled up and down your body, a slow, sensual exploration.
“Y-yes,” you gasped when one of his hands trailed up to gently caress your breast, a finger brushing against your sensitive nipple.
Then you looked at him. His eyes were on you, but something about his expression seemed as if he was realms away. You cupped his face with both hands.
You felt nothing.
It was like a bucket of cold water when you realized he had shut down. You put your hands on his chest and gently pushed him away. “I… I don’t think we’re ready for this.”
He looked hurt for a moment, and you could feel it through your touch. 
“I’m sorry,” you mumbled.
He shook his head. “It’s alright. I should have asked first.”
It’s not me I’m worried about. “That wasn’t it. You seemed… not all here.”
He blinked. Then he looked away, but you caught the misery in his expression.
You slid off his thigh and took his hands in yours. You were hit so hard with a wall of revulsion that you had to hide your gasp, acting as if you were taking a deep breath. “Astarion?”
He turned back to you with a sad expression. “I can’t help but feel… tainted.”
Your eyes widened in surprise.
“Not by you, darling. You… you’re incredible. You deserve something real. I want”—he pointed back and forth between the two of you—“this, to be real.”
He sighed dolefully. “But after two centuries of playing the rake… I just don't know what real looks like. Any kind of intimacy was just something I performed, to lure victims back…to him.”
You squeezed his hands and kept silent, nodding for him to continue.
“I want to be with you. I truly do. But these feelings of disgust and loathing… They keep coming up. And I don’t know how else… to be intimate… with you.”
Gods, I didn’t realize it was that bad. You let go of his hands and pulled him into a hug, resting his head on your shoulder. You carded your fingers through his hair and kissed the top of his head. “You take all the time you need to work through this,” you said softly. “Just let me hug you, and I’ll be happy.”
Slowly, his arms came around you and hugged you back. “This is enough for you?” he asked hesitantly.
“More than enough. We’ll take it one step at a time, at whatever pace you need.”
His body, which had felt tense in the beginning, steadily relaxed in your arms. The feelings of revulsion and guilt slowly faded, replaced by a sense of relief and…
Safety? I’ve felt this from him before, when I asked for a hug in the Underdark…
You hummed a lullaby as you led him down to the bedroll and held him close, running one hand through his soft hair while you gently rubbed his back with the other.
“Is this alright?” you asked.
He nodded and pressed his face further into the crook of your neck.
You continued to hum your song until you felt him fall into a trance.
“Sweet dreams,” you murmured, kissing his forehead.
---------------------
Act II, Chapter 7 End notes: Some more soft and fluff, but soon, we’ll get out of Act 2. Only two more chapters to go before we start Act 3! And a bit of heads up, I'm going to be leaning more into that hurt/comfort tag in Act 3, so if you're squeamish about injuries (I am, so I won't be writing very descriptively, but painful things WILL be happening), just be warned now.
Tags List: @numblytemporary @xalphafox @avitute @stormyjane7 @kmoon21
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redroomroaving · 10 months ago
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Writer Interview Tag
Ok, it took me 8 days to get here, but I’m finally responding to this lovely tag from @lemonsrosesandlavender I adored reading yours, it was so interesting!
I've tagged a few people in this post later on and would love any of them to join in and have a go at this if they'd like to share their own answers :).
Answers under the cut, because this got long - I touch on some personal stuff a bit here, so CW for chronic pain discussion.
When did you start writing?
I’ve been writing nonsense since I was a kid, largely - I have old notebooks from when I was very young I still keep full of little characters and story snippets I used to write mostly to entertain myself on long car journeys  - I had one particularly ridiculous sci-fi story written as a series of diary entries across 4 notebooks I started when I was like … I wanna say 10? Boy.
I attempted my first actual novel at about 16. Tried it again at 21. Tried it again at 26. I’m sat, still, on my first draft of something I actually could do something with that I started 10 years ago. Me and writing have had a bit of a journey, largely due to some workplace related trauma - but coming back to it after all this time has been a lot like coming home, really. I think I’ve always been, as my mother would put it; ‘away with the fairies’.
Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?
The honest answer is ‘probably not’. I rather enjoy non-fiction, but in terms of genres of fiction and themes within, I’d say I’m a very broad reader and outside of fic I’ve tried my hand at quite a lot of genres; I’ve dabbled in sci-fi and horror particularly, because that’s my happy zone.
Before joining the BG fandom my answer to this question would have been ‘Romance’, actually, because it was something I liked to read but didn’t necessarily feel brave enough to write; but truly, writing fic has pushed me right through my reticence to write romance of my own, and now it’s sort of all I write, I think!
Outside of that, I’m afraid I’m shamelessly drawn to the sorts of things I’d want to write.
Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?
I’ve not really been compared to anyone specifically; I’ve had a very flattering comparison of my themes in one particular story with Neil Gaiman - which is of course the kind of comparison anyone would be very happy to hear, but overall I’m not sure I’m prolific enough for that sort of thing ;).
I’m not sure who I’m trying to write like - if I’m trying to write like anyone - I like to think my prose style is reasonably my own but is almost inevitably really an amalgamation of all the people I’ve grown up reading and loving. 
Mostly, I’m a fan of the sort of magic realism/fantasy zone that doesn’t take itself too seriously, and a narrative voice that reflects that, and peppers it in around the characters own thoughts  - my bigger influences are probably in the Mervyn Peake, Warren Ellis, Pratchett, George Elliot, Peter S. Beagle sort of zone. 
To an extent, my interest in cinema and television is also a massive influence on how I write; I’ve spent most of my academic career working on breaking down scenes, the construction of frames - the threading of narratives on screen - and I don’t like to discount my favourite filmmakers and screenwriters as part of what I’m trying to achieve, too. 
Nothing should be in a scene without purpose - even if its superfluous presence is the purpose - and I keep that locked right to my heart. 
Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?
I don’t have a dedicated space particularly - my phone at 3am, by the coffee machine between meetings, the dining room table at times, my desk at other times - scribbled in the back of a notebook on the bus.
I’m a deeply disorganised person, and my creative process is much like my life; full of piles of laundry done in fits of productivity, half stacked and waiting to be put in their proper places; invariably, waiting forever.
What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?
I have no good answer for this either - writing, for me, is rather like possession. When it has seized me I’ll readily throw down thousands of words in a flurry, and when it’s gone, it is gone. There’s little in between.
If I can’t find it - it’s usually time to steep myself, and let things sit and soak into the bones for a while. Throw on a bit of music and let it turn around in my head without trying to force it out - a tactic that for me, at least, never works - imagine some scenarios or conversations, until something or other takes root. 
Half the time it’s just about sitting in my character’s heads for a bit until I feel like I really know them, and could respond as them to questions and queries readily - this is something I’ve carried over from being a long time Dungeon Master - whose prep for sessions was about 15% maps and monster stats and 85% ‘stewing in my NPCs until there’s no question the players can ask I can’t answer in character’. 
There’s nothing quite like the mania and rush of when the muse takes control, and it’s always a bit of a sorry experience when you find yourself on the other side of it, wondering once again where it went. 
Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?
A few big ones - two that don’t surprise me, and one that does.
The first – coming to terms with what you were supposed to be, and what you are - the trajectory of my life hasn’t been particularly straightforward - I made a lot of decisions based on what I felt I owed to other people in my youth, my obligations to others, particularly family, steered my path towards disaster and the breakdown of my health, career, and life. I started over and found a new path. It’s not been easy. 
Over and over again I’m drawn to characters that have trajectories like this; who are coming to terms with what they thought they were supposed to be, the role they were supposed to have, and how they failed to meet those expectations - or in the case of some - how those expectations failed them. 
The second - pain, and finding the purpose within it. I have chronic pain of an unhelpful sort, acquired during the stuff I just mentioned - that can truly only be described as purposeless. In fact, I’ve had a clinician quite literally describe it as such (although the word they used was ‘pointless and unhelpful’).
I won’t pretend that’s been easy to live with, or that when I say ‘it is what it is’ whilst my body screams at me literally all seconds of all days and won't ever stop doing so forever, I’m just saying that because I can’t say anything else.
It’s not particularly surprising I ended up exploring this theme, inevitably. It’s probably why ‘Sufferer, I shall’, my Donnick x Abdirak fic, and that pairing that was so unexpected and clotheslined me out of nowhere, is the one that matters most to me. 
Finally, the theme that surprised me - is finding purpose and growth in love; for me, the heart of all the romances I write, big or small, is based on this foundation. If there’s no trajectory for individual growth, enhanced and augmented by a relationship with another - usually through the ways in which we can connect and more importantly gently contrast to push one another forward - I am not interested in the romance.
I’m painfully, painfully demisexual, so my romances need to be so dripping with Feelings it’s embarrassing. I didn’t know this about myself until I started writing it, but now I see it everywhere, and all of these three come together into a rather depressing sort of whole. I’ll sum up.
I’m constantly trying to build a happier tale than my own.
That one got sad, but it’s also the answer to this next question. 
What is your reason for writing?
See above. Writing gives me joy, but it also helps me to create a kinder, warmer world than the one I live in - even when I’m exploring its darker parts. 
Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?
I love any comments, I truly do - they all fill me with joy - just to know someone has read something I’ve written.
I’d like to take a moment, though, to shout out to a few people in particular - because I think commenting is an art in and of itself, and instead of talking about what motivates me, I’d like to thank some people for motivating me.
When @benicemurphy found my Rolan x Geraldus fic ‘the Harper in the Tower’ I started getting some of the most insightful, most moving comments I’d ever received. The way in which you so perceptively saw every tiny hint, every theme and thread just absolutely floored me. Anyone who gets a comment from you should be honoured to do so.
This goes too for @cedar-phoenix, who I don’t think I have on tumblr (Cedar! found you!) - but who might be one of the most perceptive people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. You have an absolute gift.
@graysparrowao3 left me some of the most punch in the face comments I’ve ever had on ‘Sufferer, I shall’. Watching your trajectory of reading the story and being greeted with ‘WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL’ truly, truly made my year. 
I love it when a commenter pulls out specific lines or moments that they enjoyed - especially because it’s never the ones I expect! @tavyliasin and @n1ghtmeri left me some of the most emotional comments on ‘Sufferer’ I’ve ever had the pleasure of receiving, and @darkurgetrash picking out specific lines of my Klaus x Kar’niss fic always gets me chomping at the bit to write more. It takes time and effort to leave the sorts of comments you do, and I want you all to know how deeply I appreciate it.
And of course, my dear @lizziemajestic - the only commenter who has left me a sobbing voice note. You have no idea how much that meant, and how much it has continued to mean, to me. 
How do you want to be thought about by your readers?
Honestly - I’m not really sure how to answer this. I hope it’s a warm cup of coffee; a bit of nourishment. I hope they can see how deeply I feel what I write, and that some of that comes through in the words they read - too.
I really care about all these silly little guys - and if reading it makes them smile, or cry, or really anything at all, that’s what I wanted, I think.
What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?
I’m terrible at talking about my own strengths so expect this to be a rubbish answer.
I like to think I’m good at character voices; I spend a lot of time thinking about and puzzling out how a character would speak and think - and as I predominantly, if not exclusively, write canon characters and NPCs, I hope I am able to capture their voices in a way that feels natural and organic. 
I never force a character to do anything - it doesn’t work, for starters - but I really do try to let them guide what’s happening and follow them where they lead. I hope that comes across in what I write and helps create something that feels in character and plausible, no matter what’s happening; I struggle at times with worrying this might mean things seem boring, or fail to meet expectations people might have of how things are going to go - but it’s a principle I stick to. If I’m changing something fundamentally about a character it feels wrong - and that’s a guiding principle I hold.
This extends to romances and relationships; I hope, at least, I build connections between characters that feel organic and earned, even when sometimes they are characters who literally have never interacted at all before. Finding the organic spark of connection is what I most enjoy writing. 
I hope I’m pretty good at environmental storytelling, too. It’s important to show character in the same way we show ourselves - in our environments, our habits and the spaces we occupy. Everything you do, the things you surround yourself with; that’s just as much you as the you in your skull. 
When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?
“Why write if not to fill the world with the kinds of things I want to read?”
I try to write mostly for myself. I’ve written a few things based on prompts and ideas for others, and do enjoy that - but first and foremost, I’m writing for my own sake.
How do you feel about your own writing?
Mostly good. Mostly. I’m not the best, nor do I want to be - I try not to engage too much with thinking about the wider space and how I’m comparing to others - I know I’m plundering down in some obscure mines at times, and that’s ok - that’s where I chose to be.
I’m not good at complimenting myself, but, I have managed to write some things I’m genuinely proud of as part of finding my way back to writing full stop. 
Overall though, I think I’m just happy to -be- writing. After so long being unable to do so because of the pain and being unable to use my arms, and feeling like writing was the thing that ruined me, finding a way back to some creative joy and reclaiming my pain as purposeful has been, genuinely, a lifeline.
I apologise that this got all deep and sad. I hope if you’ve read this, you know how grateful I am to you all; I’ve been so lucky to find this space, and all of you, and myself again too.
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bluejaysandblackbats · 1 year ago
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Five Little Ducks
Fandom: DC Comics, Batman
Summary: Bruce finds a magically de-aged Jason.
Chapters: 9/13
Characters: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Stephanie Brown, Duke Thomas, Zatanna Zatara
Additional Tags: De-Aged Jason Todd, Magic, Babysitting, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Angst, POV Third Person, Bruce Wayne is Not Okay, Bruce Wayne Tries, Jason Todd Has Issues, Childhood Trauma, TW: Self Harm
Chapter Nine: Career Day
Jason swung his feet, still eating hotdogs. "Mr. Wayne?" Jason whispered.
"Want another hotdog?" Bruce asked. Jason shook his head. "You sure?"
"I'm alright... Can I still get more hot cocoa?" Jason asked.
"Of course, Jason. You okay?" Bruce replied. Jason shook his head. "Still scared?" Jason nodded. "That's okay... The adrenaline will wear off, and everything will slow down in your head."
"How do you know?" Jason asked.
Bruce took a breath and reached to mess up Jason's hair. Jason flinched away, and Bruce nodded. "Sorry, I forgot you weren't-." Bruce trailed off.
Jason looked down at his feet, and Bruce poured him another cup of cocoa. Steph returned with marshmallows from the other kitchen. "I knew we had chocolate marshmallows somewhere," Steph smiled. Jason smiled at her.
She sprayed whipped cream on top of his cocoa and sprinkled the marshmallows. "Jason, I gotta go," Steph whispered, "It was nice meeting you."
She opened her arms, and Jason hugged her. "Do you really have to go?" Jason whined.
Steph nodded. "Yeah, but you're in good hands... Be good," Steph whispered. Jason nodded. She left Jason alone with Bruce.
"Jason, are you sure you're full?" Bruce asked.
Jason nodded. "Are you gonna tell my mom about tonight?" Jason whispered.
Bruce shook his head. "Still feel shaky?" Bruce asked. Jason nodded. "Yeah... How about we go for a ride?"
"Okay... But I should probably finish-."
"You can eat in the car. I'll make you another hotdog and put your cocoa in a to-go cup... Unless you'd like to eat first. Sorry if I seem pushy," Bruce whispered. Jason shook his head.
"You're not pushy," Jason replied, "Do you get lonely in this house all by yourself?"
Bruce poured Jason's cocoa into a to-go cup. "Sometimes," Bruce answered. With a tilt of the head, Bruce realized Jason wasn't asking to make conversation. He genuinely cared. "Do you get lonely being an only child?"
Jason nodded. "But you're an only child too... You know what it's like," Jason replied.
"I suppose I do... Still, I'd like to hear about your experience. It's gotta be different now than it used to be," Bruce replied as he wrapped Jason's hotdog in deli paper. They walked to the car, and Bruce handed Jason his food. "Gotham's changed a lot from when I was a child. Crime's not as organized as it used to be. More innocent people getting hurt."
"I guess so... But I'm not scared of the crime. I'm-. Do you ever feel like everyone else has more life than you?" Jason questioned. Bruce furrowed his brow. "Like some people have everything... Huge families, the perfect house, the car-."
"The happiness?" Bruce asked.
"Yeah," Jason mumbled.
The sun rose over the horizon, and Jason shielded his eyes. Bruce pulled down the mirror on the passenger's side. "No one's life is perfect. Even if someone has all those things, they'll always need something else," Bruce replied, "But I get the sense of longing. What do you long for?"
"I wish I had somebody older than me around... Then I wouldn't be responsible for everything all the time. I guess that's selfish, though. I feel selfish for wishing it was someone else. People always say they wouldn't wish stuff on their worst enemies, but is it wrong to wish you had somebody to share things with? Even the bad stuff?" Jason questioned. Bruce nodded. "You probably think that's a terrible thing-."
"You have no idea how much I relate to everything you've said. I think that's been my sole motivation for everything I've done in the past decade or so... I want someone to share my experience with too. I think my second son understood that better than anyone," Bruce whispered. Jason smiled.
"Where is he?" Jason questioned.
"We hit a bump in the road... And things never seemed the same again. We couldn't fix things," Bruce replied, squeezing his knee to hold back tears.
"I hope you can patch things up with your son someday," Jason mumbled as he tapped Bruce's wrist, offering him a gentle hand. "I'm sorry that you can't talk to him right now..."
"Thank you, Jason," Bruce smiled. He glanced over at Jason, who'd quietly given way to tears. "What's the matter?"
"I'm sorry... I don't know why-. I do know why I'm crying... I don't wanna tell you. You'll think it's dumb," Jason cried as he wiped his face. Bruce pulled over.
"I don't think your feelings are dumb... Let me have it, Jason. What's got you so upset?" Bruce asked sweetly.
They stared at one another for a while, and Jason sniffed. "I'm jealous... And I don't wanna be," Jason murmured. Bruce messed up Jason's hair.
"We're sharing something right now, Jason. Maybe you can't take his place, but you can have a place of your own," Bruce whispered, "Would you like that while you're here? To have a space of your own?" Jason stared into Bruce's eyes, all glossy with tears, and nodded. Bruce smiled a gently reassuring smile.
"But what does that mean for me?" Jason asked.
"You're loved while you're here... You're seen while you're here... You're understood," Bruce explained. Jason smiled.
They drove through Gotham while Jason ate and drank, and Bruce glanced at him occasionally. "You know what?" Bruce asked. Jason made a soft noise. "Your smile is the best smile in Gotham."
Jason switched over to a sheepish grin and looked down at his feet. "Thank you," Jason answered weakly.
"It's true. I've never seen a happier smile," Bruce replied honestly, "Reminds me of my son's smile."
"Really?" Jason asked.
Bruce nodded. "Jason, you have your whole beautiful life ahead of you. I don't know what you wanna do, but I know you'll be great," Bruce reassured Jason. "What do you wanna do?"
"I wanna help people," Jason replied, "I wanna do something that makes people feel better... Just don't know how. Nobody's ever asked me that before."
"Not even at school?" Bruce questioned. Jason shook his head.
"Nuh-uh... I think the teachers are more worried about keeping us out of juvie," Jason replied. Bruce frowned. "Thanks for asking me, though... Now I can think about it."
"Glad it's on your mind now. I can't wait to see what you become," Bruce beamed.
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rocketturtle4 · 2 years ago
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The Sign and it's Magic and some WILD arse theories
This is not meta this is me cataloguing my brains current tracking of The Sign and it's magic - plus some wild ass theories I AM SO EXCITED (I also know nothing about the mythology/stories on which any of this is loosely based) (If anyone has done or does meta on this, particularly the magic stuff I am SUPER curious but not the best at scrolling tumblr rn so feel free to tag me)
Okay SO
So green eyed stabby boy got green eyed RIGHT AFTER Phayas necklace broke off so it's reasonable to conclude these thins are connected
He ?wasn't a willing vessel, did the Mors essence somehow sneak in with the purpose of killing Phaya
Then we had Tharn use magic while grasping HIS necklace (his necklace which I have NOT been paying enough attention to)
Phaya burned green eyed Mor (revealing his green eyes) AFTER the necklace got put back on, but I am PRETTY SURE Phaya has touched him before then, so that suggests something happened to awaken his powers, presumably the same thing that awakened Tharns (what is that thing? Stress? Proximity? Time?)
@plantsarepeopletoo pointed out we had water dream for Tharn and FIRE dream for Phaya which is FASCINATING especially with the reveal of the giant (?fire?) bird at the end of the ep that is presumably Phaya
Question
Has the necklace been suppressing their powers? - things changed when Phaya's got broken and then Tharn ripped his off to throw that punches
Random Thoughts
Okay so we have been repeatedly told that Tharn did very bad things in his past life and the Karma of that means he should have died as a child, and is still constantly in danger (and maybe even his parents paid the partial price with their deaths...).
We know Green Eyes is possessive of him and currently the doctor, and presumably has always been the doctor and presumably knows who Tharn was. (Abbot seems to know this?)
Tharn is a ?water spirit, I know nothing. Seems to be not disimilar from a siren who lures men to their deaths
We had the cop dead in the second ep (I think) in the ocean, still not clear if suicide but that Phaya investigated and was then lured out to sea - siren links
Green Eyes is the water dragon
and then Phaya is a fire bird? pheonix?
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(OH MY GOD THE WINGS, THE TATOO, THE FOESHADOWING AHHHH)
Wild Ass Theories
OKAY SO lets assume Past Tharn and Past Doctor are both water spirits/gods, they were bound together in some way (married? or the mythological inter-being equivelent?).
Past Tharn lured men to their deaths (siren thoughts, linked to the man who died and the fact that Phaya got lured out into the ocean - also might explain the bad karma)
Past Tharn lures in Fire spirit bird who is injured, something something something they fall in love.
Green eyes isn't okay with this for a multitude of reasons shit goes down and ?everyone dies
Details unknown, looks like we're getting backstory next ep
BUT
We do know that Past!Phaya is also someone past!Tharn wronged right? so maybe past!tharn betrayed his love in the end, and that is how they died... or maybe past!Tharn killed himself after his love died as a result of Tharns betrayal...Maybe even swearing that in his next life he would give his own life before letting him die again (thereby explaining the focus of the visions)
Did green eyes die at all then or has he been living on, waiting for his love (Tharn) to reincarnate?
Phaya seems to be getting at least some memories back, more than Tharn so far. Phaya remembers him as a siren and now he remembers his past self too at least a little. Of course this is a dream, it may well be only half remembered when he wakes.
Other Thoughts
Of course this show also has a whole crime thriller thing which I am loving and I have thoughts and questions about that too, but they're mostly magic related... (why the vision of Tharns dad at THAT moment? was the truck vision of his dad, cause the show seemed to imply it was though his visions are normally future. Although he also saw that girl die which was in the past and seemed to be about proximity and perhaps the strength of her emotions idk. So what about that proximity triggered the vision)
I think that's emptied my brain, thankfully, GOSH I LOVE THIS SHOW
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Note
(Hi! It's me again)
Do you have any thoughts on deltarune college mates friskriel?
(Okay, I am very sorry, there is a looot of questions rolled into one here, and you don't have to answer all of them or even any of them, it's just...that since I heard you also like the headcanon, I wondered if you had any specifics? or....well, wanted to think of some? so I kinda made a list of things to just...think about? if you hadn't already?) (I am also aware that college Friskriel may carry more novelty for me, who normally thinks of flowey and frisk in their pre-teen and early teen stages, than you who made two whole fanfics with them as older teens and young adults)
what they both study?
who are Frisk's parents/guardians here? are they currently happy with their family situation?
how (and when) did they meet? (since Az's coming back for Christmas (it's probs autumn right now cause orange leaves) for the first time since leaving, that means he's spent one term at college so far)
are they room-mates?
Any uni clubs or societes they both go to?
Do they attend college parties?
Or shitty part time jobs they both have to work at? (gotta be ready to pay off that student debt, ugh)
are they dating in the background at this point (chapter 2)?
will they be by the end of the game? (in like in the background, in your version, it's not gonna be canon obvs)
Are they still doing a secret relationship here?
How's Frisk's relationship with Kris and the other Dreemurrs? (and the Holidays? since they're close enough to be considered family, honestly)
Would Kris tease them both? (Kris seems like the type)
Can they go on a date to QC's?
And will they be back for the festival? (since that's apparently something you take a date to)
Would they go on the real light world ferris wheel? (like Kris and Noelle went on as kids)
Any chance for post-canon darkworld adventures? (though they might be all be closed by the end) (tag team fights and acts, drinking each other's tea, reactions to each other's cool dark world outfits, Frisk seeing Az's fire magic for the first time, defending each other, item shenanigans (for example, like Susie remarking Noelle's ring smells like her or Ralsei's blushy reactions should you give him the ribbons (poor Kris...), stuff like that!))
Any parallels to other ships such as Suselle?
Or actual popular Azzy ships like Dessriel? What do you think of Dessriel? Any chance for angst or drama there?
Anything related to the original timeline (like Azzy's final boss form he made or...strange dreams from another world?)
What is the status on monsters outside hometown? are they common? Or is Azzy the first monster Frisk has seen?
Again, I am sorry for so very many questions I asked. Do not feel compelled to answer!
It's absolutely fine, no need to apologize, I'm honestly kind of impressed? If AU surveys exist, I would classify this as one!
I have one issue that I'm very guilty of, I have only played chapter 1 of Deltarune, once, and right after it was released, I was in the middle of writing the Growing Pains series when both chapters came out and I was concerned it would throw off my focus, and many other silly reasons, so, I never got into Deltarune- BUT, I am interested in some of the characters.
(I also don't ship Asriel/Flowey with anyone else but Frisk (I've gotten too comfortable with my own AU's and my brain just won't let me think of him being with anyone else at this point, I think it's broken, lol) so I have no idea what Dessriel is.)
Because I still like the idea of the AU, and because Growing Pains 2 had a short college arc, I already have something I can work with, I'm happy to say I can answer a good chunk of your questions.
I'll start simple!
Asriel is studying to become a doctor, but really wants to be an astronomer, he goes to a co-ed college, his roommate ends up being a three eyed, purple slime monster named Grreth (but prefers to go by J.J.) (if you've read Growing Pains 2, you already know who he is, I just couldn't help but add him in because him and Flowey becomes such good friends :p)
Frisk is also studying to become a doctor, they really love to help people, but quickly discover that it's a bit difficult for them and they're considering leaving to switch to something more art-based, maybe they'll become an art teacher instead? But after meeting Asriel and discovering that he's actually their dorm neighbor, and are guilt-tripped by their aunt, they decide to stick to it.
They have a roommate who's a human, who's name is Alice, Frisk has a crush on her at first- until Alice reveals that she's already dating someone and then is rarely seen much after that due to becoming busy with classes and other things, leaving Frisk to have the dorm room all to themselves, it's pretty lonely until they become good friends with both Asriel and J.J.
My Frisk's story is that they're nonbinary (AFAB), Filipino, and lost their parents in a car accident at the age of nine, so they were raised by their aunt (Ligaya) and cousin (Andres) (who is like an older brother to them).
Fortunately, their family is okay with monsters, but kind of clueless about them due to the fact that they live in an all-human neighborhood, so when Frisk goes to college and meets Asriel and all these other monsters, they're very starstruck and amazed, and by the looks of it, Kris seems to be the only human Asriel knows, so he's also starstruck and amazed by Frisk as well, they hit things off very fast.
Frisk's family isn't as well off as Asriel's is, so they work two jobs to help pay off their college debt; one at an adorable bakery (which Asriel comes by often as an excuse to see them, usually bringing J.J. along at first and then later, alone) Frisk's second job is at the college's library, which, Asriel also loves to visit them at, they steal loving glances at each other while he's trying to study.
After they start dating, Asriel starts stressing out because he runs out of allowance money because he keeps wanting to buy Frisk's gifts and take them to nice places on their dates, so he takes up a job as a florist, and because both of his parents are gardeners and he has an eye for making things look good-he's ends up being very good at his job.
Because Frisk's family is cool with monsters in my AU, I can't see any reason why they would keep the relationship secret... although, they'd probably be apprehensive about voicing the relationship or showing any PDA in the beginning because there are groups on both sides that very highly disapprove/hate monster/human relationships, and Asriel and Frisk don't want either to get hurt.
-Fun stuff!-
Asriel admits his feelings first by writing a love letter and sticking it under Frisk's dorm room door, they get it immediately and write him one back and stick it under his door, he then urgently runs out of his dorm to theirs and they practically tackle each other with an embrace, a week after that they have their first kiss.
After getting deeper into their romantic relationship, Frisk thinks Asriel is gorgeous and likes to jokingly flirt about practicing their art by drawing/painting him in the nude (insert Titanic joke here), he always blushes and laughs and the moment goes on, but one day he goes "but who will be the nude one, me or you?"
They go to a few parties, both as a couple and as a trio with J.J., most of them go well, but there are few instances where Asriel nearly gets in a fight with a guy who is coming on too strong toward Frisk, and nearly gets another fight when J.J. gets bullied- and if things go wrong, the three of them leave to go have their own fun.
One day J.J. comes back to the dorm room with pot brownies and shares them with Asriel and Frisk, it ensues a very funny adventure between the three of them, and after that, they use pot brownies to celebrate big accomplishments instead of alcohol after Asriel suffers from the worst hangover ever that ended with him hospitalized.
Things get a little awkward when J.J. admits that he has a bit of a crush on both Asriel and Frisk, but they both let him down gently and they manage to continue being best friends, however, by the end of that month, J.J. meets a dorky cute trans girl and they slowly fall in love.
Asriel and Frisk are both very supportive of each other and help each other with school work, they're even supportive of each other's wishes and desires to do other things, even if it means they'd end up going to different colleges in the future... but they also like the idea of opening up a small health clinic together as a married couple, treating and healing both humans and monsters alike.
-Bringing Frisk to his home-
Asriel brings Frisk home, first introducing them as his best friend but realizes how serious he feels for them and quickly reintroduces them as his romantic partner.
Kris is jealous in the beginning, because here they were waiting all this time to spend time with their older brother, but nooo, he has no time for them due to practically being attached to Frisk at the hip- but being the good brother he is, he catches this before it's too late and makes time for them and Frisk ends up bonding with Toriel and Asgore, they remind them of their parents.
When Frisk finds out that Kris was jealous, and as a person with an older brother figure, they understand and make a point to hang out with them, telling them if they had met earlier before they started dating Asriel, they would have asked for Kris's blessing first- it's a funny thing to say, but Frisk is so serious and sincere about it that Kris can't help but start to like them.
Once they warm up to Frisk and the idea of the relationship, Kris definitely begins teasing them about everything, it embarrasses Asriel but Frisk finds a lot of funny and takes most of the teasing in stride.
Asriel then introduces Frisk to his neighborhood friends and takes them on a few dates around town in the process, it doesn't take long for Frisk to fit into the family and town.
Frisk becomes like an older sibling to Kris, and even if Kris wants to be a monster, they find comfort in bonding with them over human-related things.
-Bringing Asriel to Frisk's home-
Frisk's aunt Ligaya is very charmed by Asriel and treats him like a son, however Andres, who is protective over Frisk, grills Asriel with a hundred questions, by the end of it, Andres is annoyed that he's charmed by Asriel too.
Asriel gets introduced to Filipino food! He ends up really liking it, and on a much later visit, he helps Ligaya cook and sneakily learns how to cook Frisk's favorite foods.
Ligaya doesn't let them sleep in the same bed at her house until they're much later married (she doesn't care if they've tangoed or not, it's not happening!) So, he sleeps in Andre's room (he has a bunk bed), where he is further grilled by Andres, Asriel comically does not sleep well.
Anyways, here's a quick funny doodle I did, a gift for reading my ramblings and wanting to know my thoughts.
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POV, you're an administrator and you're doing dorm room checks and notice that this room smells suspiciously like....... brownies.
However, the three college students- who are definitely hiding something, are also very welcoming and nice that you decide to dismiss any of those suspicions.
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across-violet-skies · 1 year ago
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Febuwhump day 5: rope burns
Whumpee: Hyrule
Whump Rating: 9/10
TWs: blood, torture, thoughts of death, passing out
extra warning: this may or may not count as dead dove, I wasn't sure whether to tag it or not so here's the potential warning. good luck
Hyrule gritted his teeth, spitting at the closest monster. “You’ll never get my blood,” he growled lowly, pulling at his restraints. The traveler was lying against a thick stone table, wrists and ankles tied down with thick rope. The table was angled forty-five degrees, propped up above a large funnel that led into Ganon’s ashes. He was covered in bruises and a few small cuts, but otherwise was unharmed. His magic was low, but not entirely out quite yet.
“Are you sure about that?” An ache questioned smugly.
Hyrule was persistent. “I don’t know the meaning of giving up!”
The door slammed, and silence quickly fell over the crowd of monsters. “Maybe you should learn, then.” A tall figure stepped forward, face shrouded by the hood of a dark purple cloak. The hood was pushed back, revealing an unnaturally pale face, almost Hylian in appearance. Purple veins crackled across his face like lightning, feathering out from the bridge of his nose. His eyes were a sickly shade of red, glowing in the dim light of the dungeon.
The not-Hylian raised his arms, grinning at Hyrule. His teeth were sharp and predatory, illuminated by the red glow of his eyes. He absolutely reeked of dark magic, so much so that his very presence made Hyrule’s stomach churn. This was clearly a powerful wizard of some sort, one who demanded respect from everyone he came across.
“What do we think, followers?” The wizard questioned, sweeping across the crowd. “Should we teach him what happens when you pretend to be a hero?” The room erupted with deafening cheers, all different sorts of monsters calling for his downfall. The wizard cackled, turning on his heel to eye Hyrule with a menacing grin. “You heard them, hero.” He practically spat the title, eyes glowing brighter with fiery passion as he drew a twisted blade. “It’s about time someone taught you a lesson.”
Hyrule eyed the blade, keeping his expression as defiant as possible. The wizard held the twisted blade up near his ear, smirking. The metal glowed dimly, matching the red of the wizard’s eyes. The blade was almost certainly enchanted, and the physical design was meant to inflict pain. One thing was for certain– if that blade was used on Hyrule, things wouldn’t end well, not for him, and not for the rest of the world, either.
The wizard crept closer, grinning manically as he flipped the blade in his palm so it was ready to stab. Hyrule tugged at his restraints helplessly, feeling the way the tough rope dug into his skin with every struggle. As the wizard approached, dread pooled in the traveler’s stomach. He was trapped, and unless someone stepped in very soon, this would be his end. Ganon would rise again, fueled by the blood of the hero.
This was it. Hyrule had failed, and the world would suffer for his incompetence. The wizard raised the twisted blade, twin daggers curled around each other as they waited for bloodshed. All the monsters held their breath, watching with eager anticipation for Hyrule’s downfall.
The blade came down into Hyrule’s stomach.
He screamed, eyes bulging as he lurched forward. The pain was so much worse than he could ever imagine, akin to burning from the inside out. Hyrule tugged at the ropes holding him in place, struggling as the tough fibers scratched and tore at his sensitive wrists. There were no bracers to protect him, both of them having been ripped apart during his capture. Still, the pain of his raw skin was next to nothing compared to the inferno in his stomach.
The wizard twisted the blade, removing it with a harsh jerk. The pain intensified, but that wasn’t the worst part. Blood gushed out of the wound, soaking the lower half of his tunic and his trousers as well. It dripped off his body and onto the stone slate, draining into the ashes waiting below. Every drop of blood hissed and fizzled as it made contact with Ganon’s ashes, amalgamating into the beginnings of the world’s downfall.
The crowd of monsters cheered as Hyrule wheezed and panted, still pulling at his restraints with every ounce of strength he still possessed. It was futile, and he knew that, but what could he do if not fight? Even if his struggle was pointless, the Hero of Hyrule would not die quietly. There was hope for him still! There had to be, if not for him then for the country he worked so hard to protect.
The wizard silenced the crowd of monsters with one simple gesture. “What say you, hero? Have you learned to give up yet?”
Hyrule bared his teeth at the wizard, voice thick with blood as he spoke. “Never,” he replied, spitting at the wizard with all the courage he could muster.
The servant of evil stepped back, narrowly avoiding the bloody gob as it landed on the tiled floor. He narrowed his eyes at Hyrule, exhaling in frustration. “It’s almost as if you want to suffer,” he remarked idly, gesturing with the twisted blade. A wicked grin took over his face, the purple veins glowing alongside the red of his eyes. “If you want to suffer, I won’t object.”
The wizard stood over Hyrule, blade grasped with both hands as he raised it over his head, grinning manically as his face fell into shadow. Once again, the blade plunged into the traveler’s exposed torso, this time just below his ribs on the left side. Immediately, Hyrule felt the sting, gasping as tears sprung to his eyes. The wizard twisted the blade, pushing at the hilt so the tip would dig further into Hyrule’s flesh before he ripped it out.
The traveler closed his eyes, tugging at the ropes as he gritted his teeth. He wouldn’t scream. No matter how much it hurt, he would not scream. They had already gotten the satisfaction once, and Hyrule wasn’t going to let them have it again. He would fight all the way to the end, until the bloodshed was too much for him to handle and he inevitably passed out.
Hyrule was already lightheaded, which didn’t bode well for him. He opened his eyes, sparing a glance down at his abdomen. His tunic was ruined– it was absolutely soaked in blood, and he would never be able to get that stain out. Mostly because he’d be dead, but it was best not to think about that.
Looking past his ruined clothes, Hyrule tried to gauge the amount of blood he had lost so far. A lot of it was soaked into fabric, but more still spilled down the stone slab he was tied to, providing a steady stream of blood to Ganon’s ashes. Speaking of the ashes… his blood was already causing a reaction. Reddish-purple ooze gurgled lowly beneath him, pulsating and creating a faint glow from below.
The wizard grinned, leaning over Hyrule. “Seems like this is getting in the way, hm?” He tugged at the tunic, further aggravating the two stab wounds. The traveler winced, breathing heavily as he resisted the urge to scream. His tunic was pulled up, revealing his bloody stomach for all to see. A cold hand pressed into his exposed skin, fingers stretching to reach both wounds before wiggling their way inside.
Hyrule gasped, lungs tight as they refused to suck in air. He wheezed, eyes wide as he scrambled frantically. The coarse rope dug further into his skin as the wizard laughed, withdrawing his hand after far too long. Hyrule was seeing spots, the phantom pain of fingers scraping at his guts still haunting him. Finally, his lungs relented, and he took a shaky breath, greedily gulping in as much air as possible. His head drooped as he exhaled, panting.
At this point, it was only a matter of time before he passed out. As defiant as Hyrule was on the outside, on the inside he was still a scared kid, doing his best to fulfill a task he could never truly succeed at. It was a suicide mission from the beginning.
Hyrule left his head down, conserving the little energy that remained. He ignored the way it put extra strain on his rubbed-raw wrists. He couldn’t afford comfort, not now.
“What do we think?” The wizard yelled. From beyond Hyrule’s field of view, monsters whooped and cheered for his death. “How about some more for our master?” Hyrule had no time to react before the twisted blade was jammed back into him, this time dragging painstakingly slowly along the entire width of his abdomen. Blood dribbled from his lips and poured from his stomach, creating a terrible river of blood down from his bare torso to the waiting ashes below, gurgling happily with the supply.
The last thing Hyrule heard before passing out was a familiar battle cry.
The first thing Hyrule was aware of was pain.
Pain in his stomach, pain in his wrists, pain in his ankles… pain everywhere, really. He ached something fierce, feeling more like a deflated balloon than a person. It was like all the life had been sucked out of him, draining from him like…
…like blood from a stab wound. Or from two stab wounds. Or from a long cut the width of his body.
If he had the energy, Hyrule would’ve sat up with a gasp, but that wasn’t a feasible option in this state, so he settled for coughing a little and groaning.
“Hyrule?!” The voice was familiar, but Hyrule’s mind was muddy. “Hyrule, Link, are you with me?”
He groaned again, a little louder this time. Summoning all the strength left in his broken body, Hyrule peeked one eye open, wincing at the brightness that assaulted his sensitive pupil. His vision, although blurry, made out a few distinct colors. The most prominent was red– red, like the color of his blood as it dripped onto Ganon’s ashes– and green– green, like the color his tunic was before his blood was spilled.
The red grew closer, and a face came into view. Legend’s face. “Hyrule?” Something slipped into his hand. “If you can hear me, squeeze my hand.”
The traveler focused, but could not move his fingers. It didn’t matter– he was already fading away. His eye slipped shut as the darkness stole him back.
The next time Hyrule woke up, he was feeling marginally better. Sure, he felt like he had gotten chewed up by a Dodongo, but that was manageable.
He sat up slowly, holding a hand to his head as dizziness took over. Still, he remained upright, and that was something. Hyrule blinked, clearing the blurriness from his vision before glancing around. He was at a campsite… it was dark… something flickered nearby, though. Perhaps a fire?
Hyrule shifted his hand to better support his weight, finding a blanket where the ground should be. Next to him was Legend, fast asleep. Despite his peaceful expression, the Veteran looked terrible, likely from some sort of self-neglect. Hyrule left him to sleep, moving quietly as he moved to his feet.
Dizziness came in waves as Hyrule stood, staggering his way over to the light. Spots danced in his vision but he pressed on, determined to make it. He stepped on a twig, the snap catching the attention of whoever was on watch. Hyrule stayed in place, swaying. The last thing he saw before he passed out was a shocked Four.
“-don’t know! I was tending the fire because I was cold, and I heard a branch snap. Next thing I know, he’s collapsing right in front of me!” Four cried, frustrated. “There wasn’t anything else I could do about it!”
“It’s okay, Smithy. You did the right thing.” That sounded like Warriors. “But we need to have someone keep an eye on him in case he tries that again. It would be bad if he wandered away from camp like this.”
Hyrule’s brow furrowed as he shifted, groaning. Any conversation quieted instantly as his eyes blinked open, taking a few moments to adjust before finding his brothers.
“Hyrule?” The traveler turned his head, finding a surprised Legend. The Vet’s eyes sparkled with tears as he gathered Hyrule in a careful hug. “You’re awake.”
“Mm,” Hyrule hummed, moving to sit up.
Legend pushed him back down. “Don’t move. You’ve been out for five days now. Just take it easy.”
“You lost a lot of blood,” Warriors added, crouching down on the side opposite Legend. “How are you feeling?”
Hyrule sighed, shrugging. “Doesn’t hurt as bad anymore. Just tired. Weak.”
The Captain nodded. “That doesn’t surprise me. We managed to heal the worst of it with a red potion, but that was our last one. It’s nothing short of a miracle that you’re even alive.” He paused, pursing his lips. “May I check your bandages, actually? You probably messed them up last night, and it’s about time to change them anyway.”
The traveler mumbled, waving a hand. Warriors was gentle as he lifted Hyrule’s tunic, revealing the thick bandages underneath. They were still white, fortunately, so he hadn’t bled through. They were carefully unraveled until the wounds hit the air, causing Hyrule to inhale sharply.
Warriors winced. “I know, I know. But it looks like it’s healing nicely,” he commented.
Hyrule lifted one trembling hand. “Can heal,” he grunted, fingertips already glowing a faint green. Nobody objected as the traveler’s hand hovered over his stomach, eyes slipping closed as he focused the healing magic into himself. Green tendrils twirled as they broke away, slipping into the wounds as they knitted themselves closed. Hyrule’s expression was easy as the flow of magic stopped, relieved to no longer have open wounds. The pain in his abdomen had subsided, and now the worst pain came from the rope burns that had rubbed his wrists raw.
“It’s healed, but…” Warriors frowned. “There’s scarring. Sorry, Hyrule.”
The traveler grumbled, shaking his head. “‘S fine. Doesn’t hurt anymore. Just wrists.”
“Wait.” Legend shuffled around for a moment before producing two strips of cloth. He poured water on them before tapping his ice rod to freeze the cloth. “Here. Give me your wrists.”
Like his stomach, Hyrule’s wrists had also been wrapped in bandages. They bled very little, but knowing why the traveler was in such a state in the first place was more than enough convincing, and they were wrapped up for safety. In the days since Hyrule had been rescued, the bleeding had turned to scabs, but the raw skin left from friction burns had to hurt, so they left the bandages on. Now, Legend wrapped the ice cloths around each wrist, over the thin layer of bandages to not freeze the already tender skin. Giving Hyrule frostbite would only make things worse.
“...There,” the Veteran murmured, sighing.
Hyrule hummed, lips quirking up into the faintest smile. “Thanks.”
“Of course, ‘Rulie,” Legend replied. “I’m just… glad you’re alive,” he admitted.
“Me too,” Hyrule agreed.
“Me three,” Warriors added.
“Me four.” Four paused for a moment before chuckling at the double meaning. “I’m glad too. It was not fun finding you like that.” The smith shuddered at the memory.
Hyrule grimaced. “I’m sorry you guys had to see that,” he murmured, frowning as a thought crossed his mind. “I- Ganon. Did you stop him? My blood, it-”
“-resurrects him,” Legend finished. “We know. And I personally made sure the whole dungeon went down in flames.” He waved a hand, teeth bared in a snarl. “The bastard who did this to you is dead, too. After seeing him next to you, the Champion was happy to put an arrow through his heart.”
Hyrule nodded slowly. “Speaking of, where is Wild? And everyone else?”
“Potion shopping,” Four answered. “Well, hopefully. They split into two teams and went to look for towns or villages.”
“We stayed to make sure you were okay,” Warriors added. “Me since I know the most about first aid, Legend because he’s a mother hen, and-”
“Hey!”
The Captain snorted. “And Smithy because he shouldn’t be traveling far on that leg.” Hyrule’s head turned so fast it made him lightheaded.
“I’m fine!” Four insisted, waving his hands. “It’s just a twisted ankle. But traveling wouldn’t be good for it, yeah.”
“Everyone else is okay?” Hyrule questioned.
“Everyone’s okay,” Warriors agreed. “It’s you we were all worried about. Thought we were too late.” The phrase was uttered lightly, but all of them understood the weight those words held.
Hyrule frowned. “I’m sorry.”
“Shut up,” Legend grumbled, pulling the traveler in for another, less careful hug. “Don’t ever do that again. No dying allowed.”
Hyrule chuckled, nodding. “No dying allowed.”
–> support me on ao3!
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nimdreams · 1 year ago
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I have been thinking about starting to share more on here, besides the bigger essays that I share on my other socials as well. Maybe some of the daily thoughts I have about my alterhumanity. I might also want to share more about my current 'types as I settle into them, like a post with what I look like as each.
Today I wanted to give a little overview of the main labels I am using now. In my last update, I mentioned going back to Golden Retriever therian instead of dog cambitherian and I have been feeling incredibly happy calling myself a Golden again. I hope I can stop going back and forth, which I mostly do out of insecurity and shame, and embrace my golden-self fully. I would still say that I do not identify as a golden retriever fully, but partially, which still falls under therianthropy, but maybe one day I will feel safe enough with who I am to stop calling it partially.
I also mentioned my dream self in my last update, an identity that I have labeled as voidling since. I know that in dreams I am mostly made of void, and am a part of the void. This happened through corruption by using too much chaos magic. Sometimes when I am awake, I yearn to reach out and touch the chaos magic, drink it in, let it completely fill me, and then direct it to work for me. Magic is supposed to run through my veins and I miss it when I am not dreaming.
My other kintype is Vulpecula, the constellation. This identity is a celestial fox spirit and part of the celestial realm. Where voidling is what I am in dreams, Vulpecula is what I am in my imagination and fantasies. I don't actively make up any noemata, it comes to me naturally. Everything that feels right, makes sense to me, and that I experience that doesn't fit my other identities. Such as being an eidolon/summon that I have talked about a couple of times before, is part of this identity. I have also been able to divide abilties I have in dreams, as well as abilities that I feel like I should have awake, over my two kintypes. Light and celestial magic is fully tied to being Vulpecula for me. Where voidling is something I have been becoming in dreams my entire life, Vulpecula is a newer identity that has been forming these past few years. All my feelings related to stars that popped up in those years, as well as fox feelings I have had since I was at least 10 years old, are combined into Vulpecula.
Lastly, I have been questioning hares since 2019 and have used theriotype, tried to link mountain hares, and tried archetrope, and folcintera, as well as trying out rabbit instead, but right now I think European hare folcintera is the best label. For me, that is a combination of both therianthropy and archetropy, which means I also have exemplars (an archetrope term) for this 'type. Even though I relate to both white and brown fur, which fits the mountain hare, as a hare I am incredibly connected to my country, the Netherlands, and a biome found in my country, heathland. I also have Dutch wildlife in general as a paratype for hare. Which is why I call myself a European hare, and I connect to both normal and albino coloring. European hare just really clicks for me, even if I find mountain hares more interesting.
I will also briefly mention what I posted about recently, how I see my body as physically fae. I don't want to go into it much yet still though.
Lastly I still identify as the Dreamer archetrope, for which I also have a few exemplars. I also have some hearthomes, paratypes, anteatypes, and common forms I shapeshift into as a voidling shapeshifter, that I might go into some other time as well.
Thanks for reading and maybe you will hear from me sooner than normal. These posts will be simpler than my posts usually are. I will read over them, but not as much as I tend to do and there will only be little editing if at all. I am not sure yet how I want to tag them. Probably something else than "nim dreaming", to keep those for what I consider more essay type posts. "Nim musings" perhaps.
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zipzin · 10 months ago
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Raya and the Last Dragon Rating: Teen Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Namaari/Raya Characters: Raya, Sisu, Namaari Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern, Rock Climbing, Crack, is it enemies if only one of them thinks that? Summary: No matter what Sisu says, Raya is not interested. I mean, sure, she has eyes, anyone can see how hot Namaari is, and how unfair it is for her muscles to be able to lift her so easily up these walls, but she’s annoying and rude and no, nothing’s going to happen. Ever.
Note: this fic uses a variety of rock climbing jargon throughout, so I've made a glossary related to the terms for any non-climbers out there.
Raya frowns at the wall bearing the V5 that might be the end of it all. If she didn’t top this today what even was the point of climbing? Deep in her heart, she knows she’s being facetious, but this stupid problem felt like the death of her and any motivation.
It was a V5 for fuck’s sake. She could do it. She’d done four V6s! Though honestly this probably should have been graded as a V8. Or they could keep it as a V5 with a notice that you needed to be a certain height. Could they grade based on height?
She rolls her shoulders and tries to relax her sore muscles. She could not figure out a beta to push past the crux without completely destroying the feeling in her arms. Dyno-ing was out of the question, she had to keep tension with her other arm or she’d slide down the wall like a wet rag, and she did not want to end up with a tweaked ankle.
Stupid crux. Stupid wall. Stupid climbing.
“Still determined to top this one?”
“Yeah,” Raya nods at Sisu and sighs, “I know I can, and it’s the last week.”
Sisu nods, “You know, we aren’t meant to top every boulder.”
“Speak for yourself.”
Sisu rolls her eyes, “Raya.”
“I know,” Raya sighs, “But I know I can do this one. Believe me.”
Sisu nods and sits with Raya as she stares. Maybe a figure four? No, that wouldn’t work, the hold was not good enough and would that even give her the reach?
“What’s dripping, dep la?” A voice echoes from behind them and Raya jerks back, frowning.
“Namaari,” Raya grunts.
“This one giving you problems?” Namaari gestures towards the wall. “I thought you could do V6s.”
“It was mislabeled, it’s a V8.” Raya shoots back.
Namaari raises her eyebrows as Sisu sighs next to her.
“Hmmm,” Namaari looks at it. “You don’t mind if I try it?”
“Go ahead, the mat is cushy enough for your hard head.”
Namaari chalks up her hands and takes a position at the start. Her hands flex and then she lifts up.
It was a power boulder, not Raya’s favorite, focusing mostly on pure strength, and she can’t help but admire the way Namaari’s arms bulge as she completes the first two moves. She stills on the hold Raya was stuck on, and Raya bites her lip to keep from smiling too widely, ignoring the heat of Sisu’s disapproving glare.
Namaari’s head tilts down, as if another foothold would magically appear, and then, Raya can see her arms and back straining, Namaari sticks out her leg and smears her foot into the wall. Raya sucks in a breath as Namaari reaches and grabs the next hold.
Raya barely watches as Namaari finishes the last move, just blinking as Namaari lands heavily on the mat, face contorted into a smirk.
“Not sure why you think it’s a V8, I just flashed it.”
“You fucking binturi.”
“Do you think I’m not good enough to flash a V8?”
“I hate you.”
Sisu sighs heavily beside her and Raya releases the hold she has on her chalk bag. Namaari grins and waves as she walks away.
She hates that Namaari could just do it. Hates her stupid muscles that can pull her up so easily, her extra length that can reach the stupid hold, she hates how good Namaari looks with her muscles straining and the stupid smirk on her unfortunately beautiful face.
But mostly, she hates that Namaari smearing had given her an idea for a new beta. And she hates it even more when she tops the problem by the end of the day.
Fucking Namaari.
As she leaves the gym, she can’t help but notice that Namaari is struggling with a V5 of her own on the slab wall. Raya looks at it for a minute, only turning away when she thinks Namaari might see her staring, and huffs out to her car.
At least she sent it before they changed that wall.
Raya hasn’t been climbing for long. Relatively speaking.
When Sisu announced she was leaving her old yoga studio, Raya had been overjoyed. She’d been telling her to quit for months, ever since her old manager left and the new one was prone to such niceties as posting the schedule a couple hours before the first shifts would start or demanding you bring in a doctor’s note when you were calling out sick. The worst had been when they were two hours down the road on a long weekend trip and she had started calling Sisu incessantly because Sisu was “missing” her shift despite Sisu asking for it off weeks ago.
Raya had turned the car back, mostly because Sisu looked like she was going to cry and she didn’t want to add to her stress (even if they were not going to get a refund), but had sat down with her later and told her she would help her find a new studio. Sisu had eventually found one herself, a month later, and Raya had found herself across from her for celebratory drinks after Sisu gave her notice and babbled about her new job.
“And I’m excited because it’s not just yoga there’s a gym and all the climbing stuff too and they said they’ll teach me about it.”
“Wait, climbing stuff?” Raya placed down her drink.
“Yeah, it’s a climbing gym.”
Raya frowned as her brain struggled to compute, “Like for adults?”
Sisu shrugged, “I’m pretty sure kids go too, but not like on their own.”
“How many adults go there?” Raya frowned.
“I don’t know, but it was pretty busy when I interviewed.”
“Really? Climbing? Like jungle gyms and stuff? Are there competitive monkey bars I’ve never heard of?”
Sisu stared at her for a long moment and then burst out laughing, “Oh Raya, no! Rock climbing! Up walls and stuff.”
“Oh,” Raya mumbled as her cheeks burned red. At college there’d been a rock climbing wall attached to the school gym, which had been cool she supposed, she’d never tried it. “There's a whole gym just for that?”
“Yeah,” Sisu said, “Though they offer yoga classes and they have some exercise equipment. Mostly free weights but I’m pretty sure there were some treadmills and stuff.”
“Huh.”
“I’ll show you when you come, you’ll come to one of my classes right?”
“Of course!” Raya agreed easily. It was practically a tradition for Raya to come to her first class at a new studio.
“Awesome! And I’ll see if you can join me when they try to teach me to climb.”
“Really?”
“Yeah,” Sisu said, “I mean, I’d rather have someone else there without a clue. And in case I need the hospital after breaking my leg.”
“Thanks,” Raya bit back a laugh.
And the rest was, well not history, but Raya had joined her for the training session and found it more fun than she ever could have guessed.
It helped, Raya knew, that she was good at it. Sure, she didn’t (and still doesn’t) know all the techniques, but the first problems she felt like she was born to climb (and then her hands had started to hurt, the skin feeling tender and rough anytime she tried to grip a hold. The route setter who was teaching them had insisted that if she came back enough times that would soon fade and instead she’d be feeling the tendons in her hands instead of the skin. It hadn’t been as encouraging as she thought he meant it to be, but he’d been right).
The route setter hadn’t been impressed, they were only on the baby of baby difficulties, but he’d remarked that she was one of the fastest he’d seen catch on (and she hoped that didn’t just reflect his abilities as a teacher). She was only half sure that he wasn’t just flattering her.
She’d learned that the climbing version of gym bros mostly consisted of shirtless guys who half yelled as they made difficult moves and seemed to think the best way to get someone's attention was to climb a hard problem right in front of them and not say a word.
So, Raya found herself with a membership pass that really felt too expensive to justify, even with Sisu’s friends and family discount, and started heading to the gym half the days of the week after work. It was her first time as an adult regularly exercising (which she didn’t want to think too hard about) and the bonuses of seeing Sisu most of the time were as good as the muscle definition she was slowly gaining.
And, she’d made some sorta friends.
There was Noi, practically a baby who Raya wasn’t sure should be allowed to climb without a spotter, but was somehow better than all of them. Buon, a nice teenager who had kindly requested her to spot him on a bat-hang problem and they had been friendly ever since. Tong, an older man who grew up climbing outside, but now his “bones and joints were catching up with him” and he preferred to climb where there was easier access to medical attention. Not that Raya had ever seen him need it. And of course, there was Namaari.
Namaari and her had met at an Intro to Technique class around Raya’s fourth month climbing and Raya had thought that they would be great friends.
And it had been great, Raya was certain that she’d made a new friend (one of her first as a full blown adult), until Namaari cut in front of her and beta sprayed one of her projects. She’d even smiled at Raya, like she didn’t know exactly what she was doing. Raya had refused to climb that one again, even though it would have been her first V4.
She’d heard of beta spraying of course, it was part of the the lingo that Sisu’s route setting coworker had given them, but she hadn’t experienced it until Namaari stood behind her with arms crossed and a petulant frown, demanding, “What?”
They hadn’t gotten along ever since.
And since then, maybe Raya hadn’t been the most polite (but she’d only admit that under oath), but it wasn’t like Namaari was so nice either. And so what if she was here earlier than she normally would be working on the slab she’d seen Namaari on.
It was just fair game.
She estimates she has about 30 minutes before Namaari arrives. She loves slab, the balancing and flexibility challenges her (and she hopes improves her technique) and didn’t beat her down like the power boulders Namaari favored. She was strong, yes, but those ones seemed to constantly destroy every little muscle she did and didn’t know she had. It’s like they were there just to mock her and her muscles.
This one looked tricky, the crimps were terrible and pretty chalked up, and one foothold halfway up looked like a surefire way to bang a knee into the wall and walk away with a bruised ego and kneecap. She’d hopped on it a couple times the last two sessions when Namaari hadn’t been around, but Namaari had shown up not long after and she hadn’t really gotten anywhere as she scurried to find a problem in the opposite direction.
The start wasn’t so bad, and Raya brushes her hands into her chalk bag as she lets out a breath. She knew she should try to plan each move before hopping on the wall, but she didn’t have the patience (or in her opinion, the skill). Hell, she was still learning to not rush into a problem and actually take a moment to look at where all the holds were and guess at a basic path and what the crux was.
Raya takes a deep breath, rolling her shoulders as she steps up, grabs the starting holds, and begins.
Oh.
Gravity deposits her on her butt and she stares at the sneakily slippery footholds. So maybe she shouldn’t have assumed that the start was easy just because she’d managed it last time. With a huff and a quick glance to make sure no one was waiting for the problem, she stands back up and approaches the holds.
It takes her two more tries to get the starting move, and then she flows through, concentrating on driving power to her toes. She balances and releases a breath, before falling to the left to get to the next hold.
She grins as she catches herself, adjusting her feet as she clings to the crimp that she knows she’ll be feeling in her fingers all tomorrow. She switches her feet, hopping slightly and digging in as if they could suddenly find more surface area on the hold.
And then she’s sliding.
Down.
She’s flat on her back and staring at the ceiling, blinking while her breath escapes in uneven puffs as her heart hammers against her chest.
She’s okay.
Nothing is screaming and she lifts her head and lets out a relieved sigh when she doesn’t see anyone staring at her. She half crawls away, scooting until there’s plenty of room between her and the wall, and clutches at her chest as she takes deep, even breaths. She didn’t hit the wall on the way down, her ankles feel fine, and the only thing pulsing is her heart. She focuses on breathing as she watches a climber on a V1 about twenty feet down the wall.
It feels crazy that she was in the exact same position a year and a half ago. She resists yelling something encouraging as the girl stares at the hold that’s within reach but requires her to switch feet, leaving one dangling without a place to put it, and watches as the girl slowly climbs back down.
Raya had started fairly fearless, she figured there were nice mats all around, and it wasn’t like it could be that dangerous or the gym would have been sued to bankruptcy. And then, about a month into climbing, within a span of a week, she’d seen one person on the ground, their foot bent unnaturally and she’d jumped from the top of the wall and banged her knee against her chest and her whole body had freaked out a little.
She hadn’t been hurt, just gotten a bruise on her chest that wasn’t even big enough to show off. But the next week everytime she made it past halfway and didn’t feel absolutely secure, her heart had pounded and her hands had sweat and she’d bailed on problem after problem.
Sisu had been the one who convinced her to spend a whole day practicing falling. Climb a little higher each time and just let go. It had helped, even if Raya felt like an idiot the whole time.
She still got nervous at the top, and on a couple routes that had dicey moves on the last holds, she just decided that her top was the holds before. Climbing was just for fun, she wasn’t going to do something that could get her seriously injured just for what, a little pride?
Raya stands and rolls her shoulders, trying to get relaxed. She can get to the crux, and, glancing at the clock, she still had plenty of time to figure it out. She hopes.
She walks to the bottom and carefully starts the problem again. Flowing through the lower moves easily and she grins as she gets to the place she fell. With a loud exhale, she drives her hips towards the wall as she lets go to grab the next hold, and pulls up her next foot to a crimpy handhold. It gives her just enough stability to drive upwards and reach the next.
With a pounding heart, she scrambles up the last two holds and whoops as she clutches the top of the wall. Raya drops down and grins.
She’s got this.
She looks back over at the girl on the V1 and grins as the girl makes it past the hold she’d stopped on and reaches for the finishing hold, clutching it with a smile of her own. Raya flashes her a thumbs up as she drops down, a thrilled flush to her, and then turns back to the problem.
She’ll do this one more time just to make sure she’s got it, and then she’ll work on some others. She doesn’t want to try it in front of Namaari today, her fingers are already aching a bit and she does want to give the underhang V6 another go, but this week, she’ll show Namaari exactly how it’s done.
Namaari doesn’t need to know it wasn’t a flash.
Two days later, Raya is trying to not stare at the door. She’s finished her own warmups and is half-heartedly working on the overhang that’s still haunting her, but she’s not trying that hard, mostly solidifying the first couple moves to keep her fingers relatively fresh.
“Who are you looking for?”
Sisu appears out of nowhere and Raya clutches her heart, “Sisu! I could have fallen if I was on the wall.”
“But you weren’t.”
“Don’t scare me like that.”
Sisu rolls her eyes. “Your crush walked in five minutes ago.”
“Namaari isn’t my crush!”
Sisu raises one eyebrow. “And yet you knew I was talking about Namaari.”
She skitters away with a grin and Raya clenches her fists. That damn, fuck, why was she friends with her again? She looks back at the overhang and watches a shirtless guy fall off on the second move. Fucking Sisu. And fucking Namaari.
She makes one more attempt before looking around the gym and finds Namaari warming up. She climbs down from a V1 and immediately moves on to a V2, and once she finishes that a V3. Raya watches as she hops down from that and then makes her way over the slab wall, and Raya whips her head back to overhang when she sees Namaari’s face turn towards her.
Just be cool, Raya thinks to herself, be cool and go over there in a few minutes after she tries it again. You can do it and no one will know you practiced it. She takes a minute to gather her things, fumbling uselessly with her chalk bag before she takes a deep breath and stands.
She watches as Namaari starts on the problem, and saunters over. She’s ten feet away when Namaari’s foot slips out from under her on a tiny foothold about a third of the way up the wall.
“Ouch,” Raya says, trying not to notice how nice Namaari looks on the ground.
“Raya,” Namaari says shortly.
“What is this?” Raya asks, “A V2?”
“Ha ha.” Namaari says shortly, her eyes darting to the tag that clearly states V6. “If you think it’s so easy why don’t you do it?”
“It’d be my pleasure,” Raya grins and as she turns away from Namaari’s stupid, binturi face. She grimaces once her face is hidden. My pleasure? Why the fuck did she say that?
Namaari scoots out of the way, “By all means.”
Raya makes it a production, wiping her shoes and bathing her hands in chalk. With another deep breath, she carefully grabs the starting holds and lifts herself up.
For a second, her body tries to fall, and Raya bites her lip as she reminds herself that she can do this. She’s done it twice already. 
She reaches for the first hold, keeping her hips tight to the wall, and as her fingers dig into the crimp, her body remembers. Reaching and driving and grabbing and pulling, and she’s at the top of the wall, clutching it with both hands.
She turns her head slightly, smirking at the gobsmacked face of Namaari, and she drops, not bothering to downclimb at all.
“Are you sure it wasn’t a V2?” Namaari’s sitting and Raya looks down at her, hands on her hips.
“What? How? Did?” Namaari can’t form a complete sentence and Raya kneels down so they are face to face.
“Slab really isn’t your speed is it?”
“I, two weeks! You!” Namaari sputters.
Raya grins before standing and walking away, waving as she calls out, “I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Eventually.”
She looks back one last time.
Namaari still hasn’t closed her mouth.
Raya plops down onto the mat, breathing heavily and her heart racing. She needs a break or she might tweak her wrist again. Or strain her tendons. She focuses on getting her breathing back to a manageable rate and gulps as she sees Namaari midway up a power boulder. Her body could be used in an anatomy class, each muscle proudly on display as Namaari shifted and reached.
Was it really fair for her to be wearing that tight of a tank top?
Raya pulls at her shirt, was it hot in here?
“You’re drooling.”
Raya slams her mouth closed and wipes fruitlessly at her chin, “Shut up Sisu.”
Sisu laughs beside her, “You checked!”
Raya huffs and crosses her arms, watching as Namaari locks herself into position.
God, she was thirsty.
Why didn’t she bring a water bottle? Raya fans herself and debates whether she should get up and drag herself to one of the water fountains.
“You know, if you asked I’m sure she’d top you!”
“Sisu!” Raya lets out a gasp of outrage, “I do not. I. That is not! Anything! NO!”
“Hmm your silence speaks volumes.”
“This isn’t silence! What part of that was silence?!”
Raya turns her head back to the wall just to see Namaari jumping down from the top. Fuck, she missed it.
“Raya, my dear friend, if you looked at me like that I would already be in your bed.” Sisu whispers into her ear.
“Sisu!” Raya yells and then hisses, “I do not want to fuck her!”
“So why don’t you ask her out?”
“Cause she’s a bitch!” Raya says, maybe a little too loud if the turned heads were any indication. 
“That’s a lot of staring for disliking her. Besides you don’t need to like someone to fuck ‘em.”
“Just because Namaari is,” Raya waves her hand out.
“Hot.”
“An extremely capable climber.”
“Oh my god,” Sisu says, “Are you fucking with me?”
“What?!”
“You’re hopeless, okay? Just go over, get under her, away from here, and hopefully that will solve all your guys' weird tension.”
“We don’t have weird tension! I just don’t like her!”
Sisu just stares at her until she finally pats her on the shoulder, “Oh honey. Methinks this is too much protesting for the celibate.”
“I’m not celibate!” Raya hisses back, “It may have been a little while.”
“A little while,” Sisu mocks and Raya regrets ever telling Sisu anything about her (lack) of a sex life. “Come on, I’m sure she’s quite capable in things other than climbing.”
Raya pinches her nose, “Her skills aren’t even as good as mine.”
“Raya,” Sisu cackles, “You truly are a disaster lesbian.”
“Hey! That’s not! I meant climbing!”
Sisu just laughs.
“Shut up,” Raya stands. She’s rested enough.
“Oooh, Namaari started up again.”
Raya whips around so fast her hair smacks her in the face to see Namaari still sitting on the map, telegraphing moves as she stares up at the wall. Sisu’s bent over laughing and Raya storms off, flipping Sisu off behind her.
Raya struggles with the third move and drops to the mat with a sigh of frustration. She crawls, undignified, out of the way so other people could get on the wall and debates whether any of this was worth it.
She huffs as her eyes track Namaari, working on a problem across the gym that started with a tricky dyno. Raya swallows as Namaari’s back flexes and she wheels back and launches herself forward, flying through the air with slightly too much momentum as her hands grip at the hold and try to slow herself to no avail. She lands heavily onto the mat, a thump that she can hear from here.
Raya winces and stands, only to sit back down as Namaari sat up, clapping her hands in frustration. Tong helps her to her feet and nudges her shoulder that, from personal experience, Raya knows is always a little harder than he means it, and soon Namaari is chuckling at whatever he’s saying.
Raya just makes a note of the problem and turns back to her own.
So what if she’d been doing that these past three weeks. Making a special note of the boulder Namaari ended on and then figuring out how to do it in the time before Namaari arrived at the gym? And maybe leaving work early one day to have enough time on a really tricky V7 slab that had taken her a week to figure out (which had been only her second V7 that she’s ever topped)? And then finishing it right in front of Namaari’s face?
She would have stopped, if Namaari didn’t flash every power boulder that she was working on. And sure, Raya had seen Namaari top a V8 once, but she’d worked on that one basically since it was put up till the walls changed. So it wasn’t a surprise she could power through the V6’s that were the bane of her existence but it was still a V6 for fuck’s sake. 
And she was the beta sprayer! It was only fair she had something to rub Namaari’s face into.
Last Friday, Raya watched as Namaari breezed through a V5 that Raya was pretty sure was impossible if you weren’t well over 6 feet. 
It wasn’t like Raya was saying that she flashed the coordination problem that she’d seen Namaari try over and over again. She just wasn’t saying she hadn’t. It wasn’t her fault that Namaari assumed that she was.
Her eyes drift back to Namaari, pointing and talking through the holds with Tong, and it really was unfair how her arms looked just standing there. She wasn’t even flexing! Raya bit her lip and then dragged her eyes back to her own problem before Sisu could catch her.
Raya nods at Pengu as she checks in, looking around to try to find Sisu. She’d been here earlier during her usual time, but her manager had called about twenty minutes into the session and she’d had to go back to work. Sisu promised her drinks after her own shift ended, and after eating dinner, Raya had enough time that she figured she’d just fill the rest with a couple attempts of that stupid V7 while she waited for Sisu to get off.
Sisu is nowhere to be seen, so after she changes her shoes, she beelines to the V7 that was certainly going to make her lose her sanity.
“What the fuck?!”
Raya freezes as she sees Namaari halfway up, shaking out one of her arms as she looks up to the top of the wall. Namaari’s head whips around and her eyes widen as she sees her, and she drops down clumsily, face growing rapidly redder.
“Raya,” Her voice sounds weak and Raya marches right in front of her.
“You!” Raya points a finger at her, all the breath missing from her lungs.
“You’re here late,” Namaari says sheepishly.
“Were you working on my problem!” Raya demanded as she took a step closer. “When I wasn’t here?!”
“Um,” Namaari licks her lips, eyes darting everywhere but Raya’s face, “Yeah? But it’s not like you have ownership over the problems! Anyone can climb them!”
Raya shakes her head, “I know that! But what? You were going to pretend to flash it when I was here?”
“Uh,” Namaari’s voice stutters, “No?”
“That sounded like a question.”
Namaari lets out a heavy breath and closes her eyes. Raya stares at her for a moment, breathless for a different reason until Namaari opens her eyes again and shrugs, “Fine, maybe I was going to imply that, okay?”
“I can’t believe you,” Raya rears back and then pinches her nose, “Who do you think you are? Like what the hell?”
“Um.”
“That’s all you have to say?” Raya yells and turns away.
“I was just trying to keep up!” Namaari scrambles up and Raya hates her a little more as she is forced to minutely tilt her head up to look at her. “You kept flashing all of mine!”
“So what? You cheated and lied?!”
The room was silent and Raya suddenly felt the eyes of every single person in the climbing gym on them.
“Oh come on!” Sisu calls, “Raya you’ve been doing the exact same thing!”
Namaari’s eyebrows raise and Raya takes a step back. When had they gotten so close? “Sisu!”
Sisu stares at both of them with hands on her hips,  “You’re both frauds working on the other’s problems when they aren’t here and pretending to flash them. It’s the weirdest form of flirting I’ve ever seen.”
“We aren’t flirting!”
“That’s not flirting!”
Namaari and Raya yell at the same time.
Sisu rolls her eyes, “Whatever, please skip to the part where you guys realize you’re being ridiculous and just k-”
“OKAY!” Raya cuts her off.
Namaari frowns between them. “You really do that?”
Raya’s mouth flutters open and closed. She sighs, “Yeah.”
They stare at each other until Namaari starts to laugh.
“What’s so funny?”
Namaari could barely get the words out in between laughs, “We’re- so- stupid- doing- the- same thing!”
Raya finds herself joining Namaari’s contagious laughter, “I guess so.”
The few people around them give them a wide berth as they laugh. Raya wipes away a tear and shakes her head at Namaari, “You did it first!”
“Not on purpose!” Namaari held up her hands, “I had done that one earlier that day and I thought it would be funny. But then you kept flashing my projects and I wanted to keep up.”
“Oh,” Raya feels all the fight fall out of her, “Um. Well, then.”
They both avoided each other’s gaze. “I guess we could,” Raya says, “If you really wanted to. Climb together.”
“Um yeah,” Namaari rubs the back of her neck, “We could do that.”
“Great job lesbians,” Sisu said and Raya whips her head to find her still standing there looking much too amused, “I’m off in thirty!”
“I know!” Raya calls back and watches as she thankfully walks away.
Raya was prepared for an awkward climbing session after Sisu slinks off. Thirty minutes of them milling around together and trying to not smirk at the other’s mistakes and then they’d forget the whole thing had ever happened and maybe change their climbing schedules so they never saw each other again.
Instead, Namaari works on the V7 as Raya warms up and then takes a step back and allows Raya to climb and doesn't laugh when Raya can’t make it past the second move.
“Do you want advice?” Namaari hovers behind her after Raya has crawled away from the wall.
“No.” Raya grunts out.
Namaari nods and then makes her attempt, and Raya bites her tongue to keep from saying anything as Namaari goes double the distance and to what Raya was pretty sure is the crux. She hangs there, her arms bulging, and wow, it really was amazing close up, and Raya wishes she has her waterbottle and oh fuck, she’s looking back, she’s looking-
“Is my foot close to the foothold?”
Raya almost shakes herself, but squints behind the volume that blocks Namaari’s view and at her flailing foot about a whole foot under the next foothold.
“Not really, need to go about a foot up!”
Namaari grunts as she tries to bring her foot up, skipping it across the wall, and her knee hits the volume and her hips collapse and she falls.
“Ow,” Namaari grunts. 
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” Namaari scoots away from the wall and shakes her limbs, “Just not as flexible as you are. I don’t think that is the right beta, not for me, but I figured I should try.”
Raya didn’t have anything to say to that.
And it continued, a comradery that she hadn’t truly had with anyone else. Tong was leagues above her technically, Boun focused on the few comp style boulders that Raya preferred to stay far away from, and Noi small and light enough that power basically meant nothing. She had forgotten how easy it was with Namaari, how they were both roughly the same skill level even if they liked different problems. 
Though Raya could take or leave Namaari’s advice when she decided to hear it. There had been a memorable occasion where Namaari just shrugged and repeated, “Just grab it.” While Raya had almost torn her hair out.
Just grab it? Yeah, no shit she was trying to grab it.
And when Raya had snapped at her for beta-spraying she’d apologized and well, she didn’t need the kissy faces that Sisu made behind Namaari’s back, but it wasn’t like she was unaware of how fucking hot she was. It was a little unfair and made her feel drab in comparison. Especially since Namaari seemed blind to it all.
They were approaching friends now, a week and a half into this new arrangement, and Raya was trying to figure out how to ask her to hang out outside of climbing. Would Namaari think it was a date? Did she want it to be a date? Would their friendship work if they weren’t staring at holds and walls together? Would it be awkward? Would they actually have to change when they climbed because Raya was perfectly fine with staying just friends.
Even just climbing buddies would be okay.
Namaari was, well she was funny, Raya was annoyed to learn. She’d had glimpses of it before, but now she found herself laughing loud enough to scare Noi. 
Raya was mostly regretting every life choice she was making, working on this problem (with its outward facing start), climbing with Namaari (had her tank tops gotten tighter? How was she supposed to think when all Raya could see were her arms?), Sisu’s wink she’d given her as she checked in when she informed her that Namaari was here early, did she mention this outward facing problem?
“You got this,” Namaari grins at her and flashes a thumbs up.
“Maybe if you turned around,” Raya grumbles.
“What?”
“Nothing!” Raya looks up and reaches for the first hold, as she contorts her body, slowly towards the wall. It’s tricky, and she’s too hot for this, already the chalk is almost purposeless on her hands as she leans to the left to get her foot on the sliver of a foothold.
The next move isn’t bad, almost a stabilizing one as she now faces the wall like normal, and she chances a glance down, back at Namaari.
Namaari’s grinning, and then her neck flexes and suddenly Raya is on her back and blinking up at the fluorescent gym lights.
“Raya!” Namaari crouches over her, “Are you alright?”
No, she isn’t, because Namaari is right above her and this was something out of a romance novel and- was it really hot in here?
“You’re all red,” Namaari leans closer.
Fuck it.
Raya leans up and kisses Namaari on the lips, hands tracing Namaari’s arms, and oh god, they are as hard as they look. 
Her nerves are on fire. Her body shaking with an electric buzz underneath her skin. It’s a dream, it’s a promise her body cashed and her brain denied, and it’s happening right now. Namaari’s lips are soft on hers, and when she imagined this (not that she’d admit she did), she thought it would likely include one of them pinning each other to a wall.
Though she supposes the floor is a kind of wall.
Namaari breaks it, sitting up and looking down at her with deep, dark eyes that promise everything she tries to pretend she doesn’t want. “Hi,” she breathes out.
“Hi.” Raya stares at her, licking her lips.
“So you like me?” Namaari says.
“Um,” Raya’s brain is blank and the words swim in the air between them as her breath calms down and she tries to focus on something other than the delicious press of Namaari’s legs straddling her. When did that happen? “What?”
Namaari laughs and Raya blinks as it vibrates through her body. Has she ever heard Namaari laugh like that before? She could get addicted to the sound and she finds herself licking her lips again.
“I said, you like me?”
“Oh,” Raya breaks eye contact and feels her body flush even warmer, “Um, yeah, I guess you could say that.”
“You guess?” Namaari leans down so she’s whispering into her ear and Raya feels goosebumps break out all over her skin.
“Yeah,” Raya breathes out, “And I guess this means that you like me too.”
Namaari leans back, a wide smile on her face, “You could say that. I was flirting with you for so long that I was beginning to think that I missed my chance.”
“Wait,” Raya hits her on the shoulder, “Did you start doing my problems to get me to like you? Did you think that would work?”
“Well it did,” Namaari defends.
“It did not!”
Namaari lifts an eyebrow and stares at her and Raya has half a mind to bury her face in her hand. 
“We can stop,” Namaari breathes out, “Pretend this never happened-”
“No,” Raya would hate the whine in her voice if she had the presence of mind.
Namaari presses another kiss to Raya’s lips. Like before, her brain goes empty as she focuses on the the taste, just a hint of salt and something earthy, the subtle press of lips that is driving her body wild, the-
“HEY! I’M HAPPY FOR YOU BUT YOU’RE IN PUBLIC.” 
A chalk bag flies over them and Namaari jerks off of her while Raya covers her face in her hands.
“Sorry, Sisu!” Namaari calls.
“I’m not cleaning up after you fu-”
“SISU!” Raya screeches and sits up.
Sisu is grinning at them and then flashes a thumb’s up. Raya groans.
“Are you busy tonight?” Namaari whispers in her ear as she helps Raya stand.
Raya shakes her head, “My whole evenings wide open.”
“Me too,” she grins, “You want to figure out this problem? Or leave?”
Raya looks at the wall for a moment, but her brain is buzzing so loudly that she wasn’t even sure she could think about anything other than the woman beside her. She holds out a hand for Namaari to take, “Let’s go.”
“Yes, let’s go lesbians!”
“Shut up, Sisu!”
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