"I gotta get better, I'm all that I've got"
I definitely didn't cry 🥺 seeing and hearing that live was like a hug for my soul. Forever thank you, AJR 🫂🫂🫂 you've really made it -you completely lit up and brought Madison Square Garden to life- and I'm so so happy to be one of your people
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jack edwards saying he’s only watching the olympics, not because he cares about sport. but, because of the hot athletes, is so real.
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I find it hard to believe that no one on the BG3 writers’ team was an American exvangelical because HOO BOY
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I've never had someone "pay attention" to me like he does. He watches me, listens, and takes things I say and do into consideration.
I like him so much... It scares the shit out of me.
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💕💮💖🪷💗✨👁️
Every once in a while, my heel persona cracks, and I can’t help but be sweet. I love collecting moots ✨
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“Ah, sorry if I’m prying too much” hon, given the opportunity I’d relay my entire life story to anyone who gave me the time and understanding, I could literally speak for years if I was physically able to, trust me you’re fine
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Oh my god I feel so seen, I'm trying not to cry listening to this. I feel slightly less lonely having discovered this. I'm not the only one going through this exact situation. Oh my god. I'm so fucking emotional.
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Oops! …I Did It Again (Disappeared Under Mysterious Circumstances and Returned Physically Intact but Intrinsically Altered by a Terrible Journey Through the Other-World)
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connection really is everything. i've been going out to lunch with my coworkers all week and i feel just.... amazing. on so many levels.
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reading and watching “classic” books and films is such an interesting experience because, before you get into them, when you only know them by name and maybe the vaguest plot outline, they’re intimidating and stuffy and up on a pedestal, but then you finally take the leap and check them out and realize that almost every story that’s achieved such a legendary level of popularity did so because something in its emotional core reached out and grabbed a lot of people by the throat and you are NOT immune.
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
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Nimbasa trio, gremlin edition.
They’re theater kids, your honor. They’re brewing crimes as we speak.
BONUS CRACK DOODLE THAT I EXORCISED DIRECTLY FROM MY BRAIN:
Some patrat children and a pachirisu child!
(Check here for my submas stuff!)
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