#I feel for people that are afraid or phobic

[skelebagels]

As a more positive thing in relation to dogs (but also a note to keep ur dog on leashes and under control):

My brothers Akita went for me twice resulting in my being absolutely terrified of dogs for a long time.

So I decided to get a Great Dane puppy. My logic: get a very large dog that’s nice and raise it from a puppy as slow exposure therapy

:D it worked

[phantajam]

my hot take about descendants is that NONE of the core four were ready for a relationship until maybe like, the third movie (rant in tags)

[angrygreengxrl]

I'm watching Blue Eye Samurai again and Akemi is treated like an item, called a pig, discussed like an animal for sale when she is still in the same room. Woman has no right to travel alone, can't enter a city just bc there is no man with her. Mizu is beaten and told she is weak boy, but she knows she is in fact a weak girl, she looks in the mirror with disappointment and sadness bc she thinks her weakness comes from being a woman and mixed race. Women are a bargain and pleasure item only valued in brothel. They are expected to just accept everything and humbly take it. Mizu dresses up as a man to hold power and rights she cannot touch as a woman.

And yet some people are like nag this is about gender disphoria.

[kusakiguzen]

Hi, I don't know if your requests are open, but I was wondering if you can do a fluff headcannon with the monster trio (luffy, zoro and sanji), ace and law with a selective mute reader hearing them talk a little for the first time as they are getting comfortable with them please.

Hellooo thanks for stopping by!!!

A/N: I'm pretty sure I wasn't able to embody? the selective mutism condition better but I tried.. Soo yeah i hope you enjoy?

Selective mutism

Selective mutism is a complex anxiety disorder that affects an individual’s ability to speak in certain social situations, despite being able to communicate freely in other settings. It is not a matter of “choosing” to speak or remain silent, but rather a phobic response to specific people or environments.

Luffy

You joined the crew during the Alabasta arc, being the younger sister of Vivi and the second princess of the kingdom.

Responsibilities were piled on you when your sister had left making you too busy to do anything.

Sir Crocodile's rule and the Rebel army were giving you a headache and on top of that you had to protect the kingdom.

You had offered yourself to crocodile as exchange to letting your sister go and he agreed.

He left scares, deep scars both emotional and physical, Robin did try to help you but there was only so much she could do.

When your sister returned and recued you, she was horrified seeing your condition, malnourished, abused and littered with wounds. The eyes that once shone lost all their light.

It didn't help that the Marine put bounty on you for god knows what reason.

This caused Vivi to make a difficult choice... To send you away with the Straw Hat crew.

She already spoke to all of them and the reluctantly agreed.

You joined the crew and you helped out in the brains department but never spoke, making the crew believe that you were mute.

Which didn't add up since Vivi told them you used to make speeches often in place of your father.

You on the other had were scared shitless because even if your sister trusted these people you didn't. They were pirates just like Crocodile.

Slowly you started trusting them but still not enough to speak. You also started to develop feeling for your goofy and idiotic captain.

It wasn't long after that your captain popped the question asking you to be his girlfriend, Kudos to Nami who explained to the idiot that he was in love with you.

He never pushed you to speak since he genuinely believed you were mute.

You still didn't speak. Even in Sabaody when you were sent away by Kuma. Leaving an absolutely heartbroken Luffy behind.

Then came the Marine Ford incident and you were absolutely devastated for Your boyfriend and completely ignored his wish to stay away for two years and made your way back.

You met Raylight who took you to Luffy after much begging and practically bowing and holding his feet. He was going to take you to Luffy anyway and panicked hard when you knelt and grabbed his feet.

You arrived at the Island where Luffy was supposed to be training and the moment you saw him, you bolted towards him bringing him into tight hug.

Leaving him in surprise when you started to whisper apologise and and 'I love you-s'

He looked at you shocked and then soon crashes his lips in yours. After the kiss, broke down in your arms while you whispered sweet nothings in his ears.

It was the first time he heard your angelic voice but it certainly won't be his last.

Now he always asked you questions and would not sleep until your whispering in his ears

He had became addicted to your voice and he was also glad that he was the first one to hear it.

P.s. He worked even hared to hear you praise him.

Zoro

You were rescued by Zoro.

You were a slave to the celestial dragon, who would punish you f you spoke making you afraid of speaking in front of them.

There were a few fellow slaves you conversed with but with them to it was only a few words and at most a few sentences.

Zoro had taken you away when his captain punched your master.

He brought you back to the ship and took care of you. Feed you, made you drink water and even bathed you but was stopped by Sanji along with Robin and Nami.

The two women were the one who washed and dressed you.

It took you a while to understand that you can do whatever you wanted and not have to wait around to be ordered.

You finally started to feel comfortable enough to ask the crew members for thing, in writing since you were still scared to speak up.

You stuck with Zoro, following him everywhere. Which at first he found annoying but later he thought you were absolutely adorable.

He developed feeling soon enough, And confessed which you accepted since you felt comfortable with him.

You still didn't speak and relied on writing.

But one day you craved the Sundae that Sanji had made for Nami A few weeks back.

So you asked Zoro to bend down a little and softly spoke that you wanted "that weird thing that Sanji gave to Nami"

He looked at you dumbfounded and when he finally processed what happened, he picked you up and spun you around with a huge smile on his face.

You were surprised when he did that and also confused, he soon bought you closer placing his lips softly on yours, still smiling.

He boasts about how you only talk to him and no one else till you actually start to everyone ( with the help of Zoro).

He loves hearing you praising him and sometimes flexes even more just to hear your soft voice excitetly tell him about how cool he is.

Also loves it when you call him nicknames like "honey" and "darling".

P.s. He also forced Sanji to Make like 5-6 Sundaes for you and double the food you ask Sanji to prepare. Also buys you alot of things ranging from clothes to jewels with Nami or Robin's help.

Sanji

You met him before he joined the crew,

Stranded and starved without money you stumbled across the Baratie Restaurant, they were kind enough to give you food and refuge.

You joined work there soon enough.

Sanji was kind but he was also flirty with other women hence you didn't read much into it.

But feeling develop and you fell, often found yourself jealous of the women he flirted with.

Then came the incident that made him join The Straw Hats pirates.

You were scared that if he left, he wouldn't come back. But all those worries dwindled into nothingness after Luffy asked you to join them, curtsy to Sanji who had kept it as a condition for joining the crew.

Sanji loved you, there was nothing anyone could say to deny that fact. He flirted with women after meeting you, but it was only to see your reaction to confirm if you had feeling for him too.

You were asked to be his girlfriend soon after joining the crew, but yo were hesitent given his history of him fliting but you accepted none the less.

Sanji did a complete 180 after he started dating you, meaning no flirting with other women or simping for them. You were the apple of his eyes, his goddess.

He too never forced you to speak, because he believed that you were mute, and the reason you comunicated through writing sometimes.

The first time you spoke to him was when you both were enjoying the beautiful moon alone, accompanied with comfortable silence.

It was a simple "I Love you" and " Thank you for being patient with me"

After he heard you speak he actually thought that it was his mind playing games considering he believed you couldn't speak. But when you repeated your words again with a soft smile, He brought you close initiating a soft and passionate kiss.

Safe to say he cried but reassured you that it was happy tears since you were panicking thinking you did something wrong.

He noticed that you only spoke when you were both alone or soft whispers if you couldn't get Sanji in privacy.

He was overjoyed and even helped you open up to others with futile effort but he was patient

He would whisper praises and reminding you how much he loved you and you reciprocating.

P.s. The first time the crew heard your voice was on the Whole Cake Island when Sanji was said to marry Pudding. Oh the colorful words you said sent shivers down every one's spines, and not in a good way. It took Sanji a long time to be forgiven.

I literally cannot come up with scenarios for Ace and Law right now for some reason. So I'm posting for these three right now and will post for the other when I do get an Idea worth posting.

And I'm sorry if I got the selective mutism wrong.

I still hope you will enjoy.

Stay Safe Heathy and Hydrated!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA… my crush threw up when she saw my scars.

I (22ftm) have intense feelings for my friend (24 f ), we’ll call her Bee. For some background I met her through my job (we’re in the food industry). I’m have a big friend group and my crush use to work with everyone. Bee use to actually date someone within the friend group, Sandy (24 f). They’re still friends even tho they’re broken up.

I hangout with my work friend group a lot, and Bee sometimes will come along. I like Bee a lot because she’s just really cool, she’s always calm, she talks about anything and everything, and she’s beautiful. She even is working as a heating and cooling technician. It’s hard for her to hangout with all of us because she has so many other things going on in general. She even bough a house in this economy!

Sandy and Bee are still close friends. I’ve asked a Sandy about their relationship and if she’s over her, and Sandy basically just tells me they were both kids and have dated other people since breaking up.

I haven’t actually gotten the chance to hangout with Bee one on one. I’ll even invite her to hangout with our group, but most the time she’s either busy with her house, or her other friends/family/business trips/etc. At first I thought she was lying, but Sandy has told me Bee just does a lot in general now. I’ve invited her to see a few scary movies with me, but she’s turned down 3/3.

This is where I may have been the asshole for making Bee uncomfortable. I had gotten my top surgery (whoo hoo) and after some recovering I kinda wanted to celebrate. Our other mutual friend was throwing a game night and I asked if Bee was coming and if she could come. Our friend said that’s fine since Bee is cool, and I invited Bee and she said she’d love to. She showed up with her boyfriend. I know it sounds bad, I just wanna get closer to Bee in general, her and I don’t have to date (although I wouldn’t mind).

Anyway during the game night, Sandy and Bee went to a separate bedroom to talk. I did pretend to go to the bathroom to ease drop. Bee was just basically telling Sandy she’s been stressed about work and her family, and redoing her house (she and her bf are doing the work themselves) Sandy basically just offered to help and Bee was just like “oh you listening is more than enough!” And they kinda just talked a little more. I was kinda feeling betrayed by Sandy, I haven’t told Sandy I really wanna get closer to Bee, she probably knows tho, but she never offers any help on how I could get closer.

When the two got out I raised a toast to my top surgery and to just making my body feel more like me, and to thank all my friends for the love and support I’ve received through them. I took off my shirt to show off, and I immediately noticed Bee looked away.

Throughout the night I would try and talk to Bee, but she wouldn’t make eye contact with me. she was keeping the conversation short Was she afraid to sexualize me? Was she transphobic? Her boyfriend even got between us and tried asking me how I’m doing and was kinda being a block. My mind was racing and I just kinda grabbed her hand and said “Does this scare you?”. She cried out “sorry!” And ran away…and she threw up in the sink. She started crying and apologizing and Sandy and her bf kinda took her to the bathroom then the car. Bee came in said sorry to everyone for ruining the night, and like three people said “no you just go home and feel better”.

I watched Sandy talk to both Bee and her boyfriend for like 20 minutes “saying goodbye”. I was shocked by the whole thing. It finally took someone to ask me if I was okay. I asked if Bee was trans phobic, why wouldn’t she look at me, she never hangs out with me one on one. Everyone told me that Bee isn’t transphobic (gee thanks). One of my friends even said I shouldn’t have grabbed Bee like that, which I know now. She was just acting all weird around me, and she was what I thought the coolest person ever.

Sandy came back in, she was laughing and she told the group Bee was fine. I asked “what about me!?” Sandy basically explained “body stuff” makes Bee “queasy”. i was hurt and offended that no one cared about me or my feelings.

Later that night Bee called me to apologize. She offered to buy me lunch. I was still hot headed and asked how my scars make her throw up. She basically told me about an event in her life that does make her uncomfortable around blood/scars/etc. I asked if she supported trans rights. she said of course. I asked her if she would ever date me, and she said shes never thought about it because shes with her bf. i basically confessed my feelings which she did not return but wishes me luck.

We never got lunch. I feel weird reaching out to her. she hasn't stopped by the restaurant. She hasn't come to a group gathering since. i know her and Sandy still hangout which pissed me off. i tried talking to my "friend" about it, but they say it as a step too far. they also shame me for crushing on her (i was fine with just friendship).

Its been like two months and everyone is still weird about it. Every time i bring it up, everyone makes me the bad guy. was i the asshole? was Sandy or Bee or even my friends that didnt support me?

What are these acronyms?

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

Hello there!

Mod team:

I’m Jamie but I also go by Jay! I’m gender queer and use any pronouns but I am masc leaning (he/him), don’t be afraid to ask! I’m aegosexual-pansexual and a romance repulsed aromantic! I am neurotypical and the OG owner of this blog!

Hey people, my names Noah and I use they/them pronouns :) I have a long list of labels cause I'm a complicated human being lol. I'm non binary, lesbian oriented aroace, with a handful of microlabels (quoiromantic, apothiromantic, aegoromantic, apothisexual and aegosexual). I also experience platonic, aesthetic and sensual attraction B) I have diagnosed adhd and I'm an infp :D

My name is Ray! I go by any pronouns and I’m a Agender Cogirl. I am cupioromantic and aegosexual (and many other things, just ask if you want to know!). I also have diagnosed autism and I’m an ISFP

Carl D, all pronouns, allergic to garlic, aroace

We’re here for all your Questions, Rants, Vents and Confessions!

Ask box is always open and we’re always here for your asks!

We are here to educate, explain and help with anyone who needs it!

Stay safe, remember you are valid and its your box!

LOVE U ALL U ARE VALID

Commonly asked questions!

Link to my Aro-spec post

Link to a post containing most Ace Spec identities

Asexual Wiki, Aromantic Wiki,

the Asexual Visibility and Education Network -Asexual resource

AUREA - the Aromantic-spectrum Union for Recognition, Education, and Advocacy

List of Aroace Spectrum resources

Connect to the community - aces and aros

The Battle of the Phobics Link to link post

The comments section link to a helpful article on how to educate/beat the acephobes

Ask box Days!

Sunday: sex stories Sunday, for aro and/or ace specs! Block the tag “aroace explicit” to avoid!

Mondays: free day

Tuesday: rant and vents! Everything goes but everything answered with a ‘.’ Thing

Wednesday: free day

Thursday: minor friendly Thursday! A day for just minors asks to be answered about their aspec ID and questions. Block “aroace minors” to avoid

Friday: free day

Saturday: free day

Recommend blogs

please feel free to ask me first, if I don’t provide a good answer or you want more you can ask again or go to one of these blogs! Please tag more blogs I should add to this list!!

@asexualadvice - asexual advice! (Read blog but helpful info!)

@aegosexual-moments - the aegosexual blog of all time (excluding myself /j)

@aromantic-diaries - Very cool aro person!

(Yes I know my profile pic is off center, suffer, its still off centre, suffer more)

(It’s seperate because aroace is unfortunately usually viewed as one identity, ace and aro are separated spectrums)

(If I hear one more complaint about my icon I’ll change it to what ever random piece of art crosses my dash next and you wouldn’t like that would you??) (i did that and got a new profile pic :D)

The Blogs

blogs that are kinda fan accounts???? wtf????

@aroaceplaceforsome they’re the neutral party here, they use pronouns

@throwawaysoiwontgeteatenbyjamie a whore

@jamies-a-great-person @aroaceappreciationplace -more whores (lovingly)

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO @la-creechura for drawing our profile pic!!!

Banner art by @pride-flag-planets

The forces:

A collection of multi member blogs dedicated to one country of aspecs… all against Denmark

@aussieaspecforces

@indianaspecforces

[tizeline]

Happy pride month and all!

I figured now was a good time to ask, but do you have any thoughts about the sexuality of the characters in your Sep AU?

Sorry if you’ve been asked already, and the answer can definitely be no, I’m just curious :)

Happy pride!! ✨

Here's the thing about headcanons about queer identities, I personally prefer to not get too stuck on specific labels. While there are exceptions, I generally try to remain flexible if that makes sense? As in I like having multiple different interpritation about characters' identities so deciding on One Particular Label can feel limiting to me.

I mentioned it before, but I do plan on making Capril an established relationship in the AU sooner or later, so April and Casey are definitely sapphic. But more specific than that? Are they lesbian or bi or pan or whatever?? I dunno!! It's not really relevant to the story so I might as well leave that up to interpretation.

My approach to creating stories is that I'll usually only decide on specific labels if it is plot relevant, Schrödingers Identity if you will, lol, it can be anything if you don't decide on it beforehand. Again, there are exceptions, Leo is gay 100% like duh I can't interpret him any other way XD. Splinter is a Bi-Icon and I will STAND BY THAT!

Raph, Donnie and Mikey? Man who knows, canon Donnie seems to be into girls at least so it's the same in the AU, but more specific than that I dunno, I'm not planning on the story really focusing on romance (aside from a little capril because every story needs sapphics that's like the law)

Actually, you know what I find fun? World building! I honestly tend to be more interested in how queer identities are viewed and treated in a story's world as a whole as opposed to induvidual character's identities. Human society in rottmnt seems to be mostly the same as our IRL society, but what about Yōkai society!? With how diverse yōkai are I think it'd be fun if people in The Hidden City just... didn't care about who you loved or what you identified as. As a result of that, I don't think yōkai would care that much about terminology and labels, you just kinda loved whoever you loved.

It'd be honestly be kinda interesting if Donnie and April used terminology that related to queer stuff and Raph, Leo and Mikey are just really confused. Like for example, April is complaining about one of her classmates who's homophobic and the The Drax Bros are just like "Home-phobic??? They're afraid of homes??" cuz the concept of discriminating against someone based on which gender they're attracted to is completely foreign to them. Actually, Leo might be more knowledgable about human queer culture considering he's interested in human cultures in general. He calls himself gay at one point and Draxum is all like "you're happy? good for you?" and he'd just be wondering why Leo is using such an old-timey word considering Leo doesn't exactly have the most advanced vocabulary.

[crevicedwelling]

i would like you to know (i may have put it in a reply to a post before but still) that your blog has really helped with my fear of centipedes. the way you photograph and write about them has really helped me work through my irrational revulsion and helped me appreciate them as just another cool animal. i’d still never keep one, and i definitely promise never to handle one barehanded, but now i don’t scream or panic when i see one in the garden while i’m digging and i don’t feel grossed out or afraid when i look at pictures of them. i’ve been a lot less phobic for a year or two now and the work you do with outreach on your blog means a lot to me.

thank you for these words! I do think a huge part of invertebrate phobias come from the fact that we are only ever confronted with them in surprising situations and are not taught about what they are or what they are doing here. I hope by teaching people that all hated animals are just little guys trying their best, that more people can come to realize that bugs are fascinating and valuable beyond whether or not it is scary or capable of harming you.

[conduitandconjurer]

I think I've figured out one thing (beyond that .... "ending" ....) that bothers me about TUA s4 and Klaus.

It seems like the popular dichotomy, in terms of his characterization, is "fearful of life because he's mortal" versus "careless and effectively invicible" and that somehow being divested of his abilities would pave the way to healing and guarantee sobriety. Klaus's rage at his family for saving his life by returning his powers is proof enough that HE believes this. Alongside this is the presumption that all of his character development last season, mastering the gift of immortality, is itself--RATHER THAN THE WAY THAT HE MASTERED IT (by being led on and used by Reginald, and made to equate his worth with his usefulness/skill)--should be nixed. It's bad for him to be porous to the veil between life and death. It's bad for him to be immortal. He can't "deal with it" and he'll go on a bender the moment it's restored. His unwillingness to drink the "marigolds" (until he's dying and forced to do so) is supposed to be proof of this.

I have some qualms with this line of thinking, despite its solid attempt at showing character development.

I think Klaus is braver than people give him credit for WHILE he is mortal. Friends have posited (and I agree with this part) that he becomes very high strung and phobic about any form of injury or illness because even though mortality is scary to someone who just found out he was immortal...and then lost that immortality...he also feels he has CONTROL over his own body and mind and life that he was NOT afforded when he could be possessed by ghosts and used for his conjuring powers (both by family and predators). And I've been harping on Klaus's need to actually have agency and grant consent since that squicky Ben-possession joke in season 2. But, agh.

To begin with, I don't think Klaus is 'afraid' of life (or at least that the fear is unwarranted or laughable) so much as he's forcing himself to endure what he KNOWS is deeply perilous and unfortunate t unlucky people like himself, without resorting to the powers that also open the door to substance abuse. Of all of the Brellies, he tries the hardest, the most often, to break patterns, when he sees that there is motivation to do so (more on this later). He is hardcore and brave as fuck, rubber gloves or not.

But is it really a good thing, or even necessary for Klaus as a character, to equate no powers with guaranteed sobriety and powers with falling off the wagon? I don't think it is.

Unfortunately, this is hard to glean from the audience pov, because all we're given in this season is the most extreme, toxic, abusive, stomach-turning example of how his powers can be abused the moment they return--and how, of course, this exacerbates relapse. We get the whole 'have sex with his body while the deceased possess it, for drug money" subplot. We get him getting so desperate for the cycle to end that he begins inviting harm and self-harming out of some grim hope that his powers will fail (getting shot in the head scene). And he needs the drugs that this awful situation provides BECAUSE OF said situation. Compound upon that the PAST trauma that it's opening back up like a raw wound (literally, from at least the age of 8). Of course Klaus is using because of his powers, but because THEY'RE BEING ABUSED.

Klaus's abilities don't guarantee a fall off the wagon. His low self-esteem does, and the inability of anyone in his life to communicate with him or intervene does. When (deleted but still important scene) Lila's relatives are calling him, in front of him, a loser junkie (etc), and he says, "Yeah, that's....that'd be me," Klaus is mortal. We see the cogs in his head turning: yeah, I'm worthless, what's the point. And it's already too late right there, unless someone intervenes.

"What's the point," AND NOTHING ELSE, is Klaus's kryptonite. And he isn't a fatalist by nature, I'll (controversially, I guess) add, but there are things nobody can endure forever. Klaus, like any addict, is there because of underlying core beliefs about himself and about his ability to change his circumstances. What I love about the deleted scene that shows Klaus INSISTING on having his AA meeting is that he becomes his own advocate, because well, the Hargreeves are "all assholes" (well spotted, Klaus, lol) in their own ways, and each has to be their OWN intervention. This has more to do with self-determination than it does with seeing ghosts. The cause and the remission of Klaus's addiction is deeper-seated than powers that are given and taken away at surface level.

Why is this so important to me? I guess because to me the powers Klaus never asked for still remind me of something perhaps not initially intrinsic to someone's being--but still something they have to integrate into their lives in order to go on living. I think it MEANS more to fans who identify with Klaus (at least it does to me, someone with debilitating chronic illness) that he be able to transform his abilities into a strength that is, to Klaus and his loved ones, benign, while also not letting it become the central facet of his identity. He IS a medium, but he is also OTHER things. He is a human being, and all human beings have many interests, roles, and hopes.

The precipiating events of Klaus's trauma are NOT his ability to see ghosts or resuscitate. They're the abuse inflicted by those who would use Klaus for their own gain. Why should he give up his powers in order to heal, just because Reginald is an unconscionable monster who was willing to kill his own child over and over and over? I wish Klaus himself had had this epiphany before the show ended.

Losing his powers for good would certainly be the quickest route to healing and growth, and fine, if fans like it, go for it. To me, though, it feels like "don't ever wear crop tops because if you do, you won't get SA'd." Like, no. Maybe the world needs to operate by a kinder standard. Maybe Klaus needs a real support group, a better family of his own, to help him contradict his feelings of self-loathing. Maybe he needs the AA counselor to stay when he shows up for his chip. Maybe he needs reliable transportation to and from. Maybe he needs to move to a different city. Maybe he needs to chat with some of the ghosts he sees, and start a fucking Tuesday evening afterlife meditation circle. Maybe he can get a cheap apartment and fill his living space with succulents that he has to be held accountable to feed and water and keep ALIVE. Maybe he should become an AA counselor and help other people go the right direction. Maybe he should resort to poetry or knitting every time he has an urge to use, and that can become a healthier compulsion. Maybe someday he can get a kitten or start dating again (someone alive, in this century). What Klaus needs is to have MORE in his life to define him than his powers and how they can be used for the benefit of others.

Maybe the TUA writing staff is weirdly sadistic and won't let any of that happen. But by God, we can. And it's important. It's important that healing and remission not be dependant on things others can bestow or take away (like powers). It needs to depend on something internal, an "internal locus of control," as the CBT shrinks call it. THAT is having control over your own life.

[r0w0fie]

Update on the CK situation:

I'm shocked I'm saying this but, instead of Carnivorekitty giving it some time to settle down & to use that time to grow . . He just deleted/deactivated his art accounts???

His Tumblr has been deactivated & his Ck twitter account has been seemingly deleted. The Lurking for Love twitter account is still up.

Edit 2: his art twitter is still up but the tag have been changed & the account privated. Any use of the direct link to the old tag doesn't work, hence why I thought it was possibly deleted.

He has changed his now deactivated Tumblr name to "don't make your fanbase on here" which says alot . . .

His Carrd has also been cleared out, including the Toyhouse account. Although his Ko-fi & Itchio are still up. You can see a preview to the old links in the second screenshot below.

Edit 1: his carrd has also been deleted now

He has renamed his previous Carnivorekitty twitter account to yeehawcrow and has privated it.

The background image was changed after the situation. This is just another jab at his fanbase, same as all his other account name changes.

His Niwi account, the one with the transphøbia & -ism interactions, is still up but has been privated.

The name change is still up which shows that he still stands by his views. Do with that info as you will, just no harassment towards said account please & thanks.

I hope this is the last time I have to say anything or update people on the issue.

Some personal thoughts & feelings under the cut ⬇️

I am now further disappointed with Tom. I do not know if he said anything before deactivating, like a farewell or a "will be back eventually".

If he had of simply given it some time, let the dust settle, realign his mental state and then try to figure out why this was so hurtful to his fanbase. He could of had a chance to return & continue on; if he wanted too.

Of course, not everyone would be happy to see him return. Not everyone would even interact with his accounts or be willing to be in the fandom again. But it was still an option, especially if he uses this as a learning opportunity, not just for past fans or present fans, but for himself.

I personally won't be supporting Tom unless some serious growth & acknowledgment is shown. Unfortunately, I don't think thats going to happen any time soon due to the examples & links above. It might never happen or it might take months/years.

I hope Tom is safe & I hope everyone else is safe aswell. Make sure to look after yourselves & reach out to those you trust if you're not doing too hot xx

For now I will change my hyperfocus from Jacob & co onto other games & characters. It hurts to do so but there are so many good peeps out there & we shouldn't be afraid to trust them. I hug anyone who now is because of this situation 🫂

I will forever be into Milo (@/solarchaotica's oc) & will be getting back into LoveLock so I can bully my fave character Walter even tho Seb is the fan fave lol

My personal feelings on all of this? It's shitty.

People defending all of the horrible evidence, without saying they don't agree with aspects of these "questionable" simply because they want to defend CK; is shitty.

People putting things in other people's mouths, is shitty.

People burying their heads in the sand because they want to ignore it all; is shitty.

People giving excuses, even excuses as to why they are ignoring this issue or ignoring certain parts of this issue, is shitty.

People who genuinely support these types of beliefs, only joined in because they're genuinely phobic & aren't even in the L4L/murdersim community; is shitty. (& Yes I've seen it happen)

People who harrass anyone involved, Tom himself, is shitty.

People who use this as evidence to defend other past users actions, is shitty.

People who lash out their hurt through nasty words & ill wishes upon others, is shitty.

People who say anything about Tom or others ky$-ing themselves, are super mega shitty like wtf??? Don't do that???? I only saw one person but still????

It's all just super mega shitty and I hate it so much and it hurts so much to see other people be so so hurt and just aaahshsgskxbdjfb. I cried the first day, not because of my personal feelings, but because of others talking openly about how hurt this made them. Seeing my friends be hurt. Strangers be hurt. Mutuals be hurt. I could still cry if I let myself dwell on it for too long.

I wish things could of ended up better. When I posted on the situation I tried to tell peeps to keep an open mind & to look after themselves. I just hope this is a learning experience for alot of people.

[haute-honey]

astrology opinions.

Reminder that these are just subjective opinions just like any other astrology observational post. If it don't apply, bye.

Someone having your sun sign as their moon is really not all that. The moon person tends to be playing pretend in front of the sun person. Very deceptive.

I saw someone describe Taurus placements as "sweet" and "innocent" lmfaooooooo Taurus is a sign that you don't want to fuck with or have them perceive you as being an enemy because they can be nuttier than squirrel shit. They aren't Joe from You. They are Brandy from A Thin Line Between Love and Hate. I feel like I've said this in another observation post but just want to reiterate because don't get it fucked up with these people they will end you. If fuck around and find out was an astrological sign. They are not afraid of being vindictive and conniving over what is "theirs".

Speaking of which, Water sign dominant femmes get waaaay too overrepresented for being the crazy jealous "my man my man my man" type of lovers when earth sign dominant femmes are just like them. Yes they may be slower to open up but once they do? Good luck trying to shake them. An earth sign woman/femme will go to the ends of the earth for their lover and if someone comes along and tries to threaten what they feel they've "built", they turn into eminem in love the way you lie part 2.

Virgo placements, its okay to be a nerd. Just don't be a loser. There is a difference. (This take is more directed towards the men/masculines w/ virgo placements.)

I have yet to see or witness a Scorpio sun be as mYstEriOus as yall claim they are.... they're usually the loudest hoe in the room.

If you want to know if a guy is interested in dating outside his race? Look for Gemini or Sagittarius placements in his big 6.

Saw a post that said people with venus in 2h/scorpio are usually the "other woman" or involved with people who are involved with others but get "chosen" in the end....

y'all really get on here and say ANYTHING. As a person with these placements, the most important things to me within a relationship are loyalty, attraction and stability. Can't get that out of a partner who is already in a committed relationship...

Having pretty privilege ≠ being a pick me (this ones for my girlies with prominent libra placements)

Every femme only wants to talk about how "seductive" and "sexy" it is to have prominent Lilith placements. We don't discuss enough how awful it is for your social life esp in relation to other women. In my experience as someone with Lilith in 1H, women either have weird jealous/envious energy towards me or they want me romantically/sexually. It sucks ngl.

Going back to women/femmes with prominent Libra placements/influence in their chart, I'm seeing a lot of bullshit about how they are within romantic relationships and in the dating world. This belief of them being "the other woman" is bullshit. They are not out to get your loser boyfriend. (This is from experience, I've had guys breakup with their gfs just to try to talk to me, ew.)

I think its a good thing air dominant people are so detached. The jealousy/envy/obsession they attract needs to be studied. Work on protecting yourselves from evil eye.

Stop infantilizing cap moons please. Their biggest enemy are themselves for their unwillingness to be emotional or express emotion. You cannot establish healthy relationships with others and be emotion-phobic at the same time. Esp if you're a grown ass adult, you need to work on your emotional maturity and stop using your upbringing as an excuse to continue emotionally abusive and neglectful cycles.

Speaking of caps, Saturn ruled people (aquarius and capricorn dominant people) need to understand and accept that they are here to do incredible things. The more you try to assimilate to what everyone else is doing, the more you try to blend in the more Saturn is gonna beat your ass. Go big or go home bitch.

I noticed people who have issues with their emotional wellbeing (either too sensitive or emotionally inept) have their moon in a sign that is generally incompatible with their sun sign. (For ex. Aries sun with a Capricorn moon). Gotta work extra hard to learn and understand who you are emotionally.

Anyways that's all... for now.

[dross-the-fish]

Started hanging out with some new friends in a Discord server on days when work from home is slow but I'm not able to leave my desk to draw or write, and I'm honestly surprised by how good of a time I've been having, how at ease I feel. This is the first friend group I've had where most of, if not all of, the people in it are queer in ways that are similar to myself, and not just cisgendered gay or bisexual people, but people who are also non-binary/genderfluid and on the aro/ace spectrum. After a lifetime of being friends with people who were mostly straight or gay and almost all of them cis except for maybe the odd binary-transperson all of whom are allosexual. It also made me realize that I've been walling myself off from most of my old high school friends for the duration of our relationship and haven't even noticed it. I always tend to sit and let little comments slide because I don't want to get into a debate or call too much attention to aspects of myself I'm still figuring out. Dealing with behaviors that were vaguely phobic and excusing them as my friends just "not knowing better," because they seemed well intended otherwise and nothing said was overt. Feeling like before I presented ace characters to them that I needed to have some justification and explanation at the ready and brace myself for people to try and tell me that "well this character can still have sex right?" or "What's the point of making x aromantic?" because they were allosexual and alloromantic and couldn't enjoy characters that weren't "available" in that way. Debates about whether asexuality should even be part of the LGBTQ spectrum weren't common, but they happened. Being made to feel like not being attracted to my partner was unfair to my partner because "everyone deserves to feel attractive to the people who love them." "A stands for Allies" is a thing that came out of one friend's mouth. "Non-binary is trans-lite," is another. "I could never love someone I wasn't attracted to, it must suck so bad to have that part of you missing." When I eventually came out as gender fluid, they seemed accepting but never bothered to use masc pronouns because I still accept fem ones. So they just felt free to ignore my gender all together and one of them even slipped and tried to correct someone who called me "sir" because it was that easy for her to forget, even with me standing right there in a chest binder and men's clothing.

There was always been an element of being ready to defend myself, of weighing my words before I spoke them and agonizing over whether I'd have to hear empty platitudes, excuses of people just "not being used to it" and an obvious, palpable discomfort that no one was willing to unlearn, that would be left for me to bear and to feel like I was at fault for creating by simply existing. And I never noticed it because it was so prevalent and it was still preferable to the blatant hostility most of the conservative population around here has for the LGBTQ community. I can talk to these people about every other thing under the sun, call them when I'm in trouble and they'll help me and turn to them for advice and support in every other area...but the little things still matter. Even when I told myself they didn't. Being around people and feeling like I can be unguarded is such a bizarre feeling that I'm almost afraid of it. Hearing one person talk about how an aromatic character I write isn't broken and wanting strongly for that character to be told that by somebody made me want to cry. Being asked if I would prefer couple art to be sfw vs nsfw because the asexuality of one character was taken into consideration actually felt like a big deal because NO ONE HAS EVER DONE THAT BEFORE. I didn't know these things mattered so much until they happened and now I feel I'm at a crossroads and debating if I should make the effort to advocate more for myself among some of my old friends. Acceptance matters, community matters. I always knew this intellectually but it's a whole different level now that I've experienced it. I've learned that it matters to me.

[tutti-says]

ReRe: Sexuality, labeling theory, and accepting your own ignorance in BG3 fandom

One thing I have learned in my life is to,well, learn. Discourse over companion sexuality surged on Twitter at a time I just happened to be on yesterday. As I preached my own QT about the characters being playersexual, I happened upon a tweet about this word being bi/pan phibic due to its history.

While I was confused, I took my post down and decided to find out the root instead. I began my usual route: asking questions and running a search on google. To me at a surface understanding, the term playersexual encompassed the gambit of all sexualities-allowing the player character (PC) to choose whomever they wish to romance. For those who are unfamiliar- BG3 is a dnd set CRPG where the PC is able to engage in romantic interactions. The more special part of BG3 is that these romances can play a substantial part in the overall story of your playthrough. And as most of the western hemishphere probably knows the name Astarion, it suffices to say that these companions and possible romances are important to the playerbase. Though the numbers aren't in yet, there is a sizeable chunk of queer persons involved in the BG3 fandom and it only takes a cursory glance at twitter in order to realize that. And of course, representation of queer romances plays into that. So, while I thought the term would resonate with people of the freedom to choose, the term "player -sexual" as Larian devs described the companions, only druged up old wounds. And I was very, very ignorant on this. From my conversations, I learned that the term was coined in the time of Dragon Age 2 by a confirmed biphobic dev in response to fans praising bisexual characters. As well, it was brought to my attention by my mutual Mish that Larian winning awards for inclusivity, while also using this term, left people feeling like the devs were once again erasing the canon sexuality of pansexuals. For context, Niel Newbon spoke in response to a question that Astarion is pansexual. This can be confirmed in game by Lae'zel possibly sleeping with Astarion during the night of the Tiefling party. The companions aren't just sleeping with any PC no matter what, but with other NPCs as well. Once my moot on twitter, mon, pointed this out-it suddenly made sense. I was wrong. There are some more conversations surrounding this topic I would love to expand on later, but for the point of this already being long I will save it. At first, I thought the problem of labels was solved by the term playersexual, but it turns out that label was stuck on to cover sexualities and their validity. Ignorance is often used as an insult; a euphamism for stup[id. However, ignorance in itself is nuetral. It is neither good nor bad until the option to learn is put forth, and the ignorant make a choice to learn or not. Unfortunately, most cause of discourse is rooted in willful ignorance, or refusing to acknoowledge and understand knowledge when presented. I don't use the words attached to phobics or isms without careful consideration. In this instance I do believe the word playersexual to be pan or bi phobic due to its history. I do hope that Larians reconsiders this word in the future. I can't win every war, but I can learn which wars to fight with not being afraid to be wrong and learn different. thank you <3

[ainyan]

Good morning! I drop this ask at your doorstep:🌼- What's your favorite thing about this oc?

What isn't my favorite thing about Kali?? She is, unashamedly, my self-insert, my own beloved Mary Sue (which is not an insult!) - she's what I want to be. Beautiful, self-assured, brilliant, courageous, graceful, beloved of two wonderful people (oh wait, I got that one in the bag)...

Oh, sure, she has her downsides. She's skittish about getting close to people, she's phobic about her memory, she can be impatient and downright surly if she feels like you're trying to take advantage of her - but she's really easy to take advantage of if you approach her the right way. She lost her heart to a man most would consider wildly inappropriate for her and she rails against her Fated Destiny even as she allows it to steer her blindly towards a future she fears. She definitely has ADHD in spades and significant autistic tendencies (just like her beloved creator).

But that's part of what makes her so fun to write and to play!

In all seriousness, though, I think what I love most about Kal'istae is she's not afraid to fail. She hates failing. If she does fail, she'll do everything she can to fix it. But she recognizes that failure can happen and she doesn't let fear of it stymie her and prevent her from doing anything at all.

I wish I had half of her self-confidence.

Thank you for the ask!

Learn more about my OCs - send an emoji and a name (Kali default)

[etirabys]

I've been experimenting with "identifying as stupid and lazy" and it's going pretty well. This month I went to a Javascript meetup with the explicit goal of being slightly stupid there, got into an AI conversation, said a few coherent things, and then mentioned I just didn't want to put in the work into understanding e.g. transformers. Also I said as a simplification that I'd flunked out of linear algebra in college which isn't true (I got an A in linalg but flunked out of the ML course where linalg was heavily in use) but felt. WEIRDLY. pleasurable to say.

When I talked about this on Discord, one of them brought up Stupidism, which is from a good post @mark-gently made. But there's something about my wanton dignity-discarding that goes several steps further from Stupidism and feels very liberating.

Last year I read a weird... pagan?... book, Existential Kink, that invites you to notice how much of your life is shaped to bring about outcomes you supposedly hate, and how you secretly take joy in those outcomes. This seems false for the majority of things one tries to avoid, but leaning into it sure is interesting to try out! And I'm finding it is surprisingly true for "coming off as stupid".

There's something absurdly joyful/thrilling about deciding to go to a meetup and presenting as a moron. Some years ago I would have gone NOOO at the thought, and now I feel like an adrenaline junkie being invited to a new type of gambling event or weird sex thing.

I fully expect to tire of "identifying/presenting as stupid and lazy", but when I move on from it I expect to be more integrated or whatever. Less afraid of being stupid and lazy because I've just gone and done it openly.

One of the stupid things I said at the Javascript meetup was that I hate using libraries in almost full generality. I'm too lazy to read docs or troubleshoot my calls to other people's code. Someone recced me a different meetup for people who roll their own tooling, but warned me it was all male, because he knew I'd found all-male programming contexts stressful in the past.

In college I tended to not even really notice if a lab or a team was all male, because I was a top-half student and just felt totally secure about being in class. But I became phobic of it in jobs because I'm usually the worst dev in any remotely selective workplace, and being the worst dev AND the only woman sucks. I was ashamed of being bad at my job, obviously, but I was mortified at being the entity that diversity posters and mandatory trainings point at to say "if you think women are like that you are a terrible person and causing problems in society". But... I am like that. I guess for society's good I need to hide this as hard as possible?

(I solved this by going to a much less selective workplace and almost explicitly saying "I will be kind of a bad programmer, but I come cheap". I am pretty happy now.)

So, given that I got twisted up by that employment record, current me is delighted at the thought of being openly dumb at an all-male CS meetup. This wouldn't be good for the men (some of whom Want To Unlearn Sexism, etc) nor for Women In Tech, but it would be good for ME. Time to abandon class consciousness and defect on women for my own gain.

It is, well, yeah, existentially kinky to imagine going to this meetup and cheerfully asking dumb questions & occasionally responding with "I don't think I'm ever going to understand that, sorry, you should stop explaining that because I don't want to waste your time".

[jisreal64]

So I’ve tried to make peace with both the Hellverse community and the Kicktoon community multiple times to no avail. But I’m going to try one last time. Each time I’ve tried to describe what a Kicktoon is, people just get angry and confused, so I’ll describe it like this:

A Kicktoon is a genre of indie web animation that is crowd funded, thrived during the fake indie animation boom created by Hazbin Hotel, abd follows a “fight first, ask questions later” formula. With this being the said formula:

-Is often heavily inspired by or flat out plagiarizes other media

-Makes tons of week one merch based around a test pilot

-Features furry bait

-Features Tumblr Sexypeople

-And last but certainly not least, critics and cartoonists/animation nerds love them, while general audiences and people who are indifferent to the medium view them as bland or don’t care about them

“But what’s the difference between a normal indie animated web series and a Kicktoon?”, well the difference is that the non-kicktoon cartoons aren’t as successful/commercialized as them and the genre has quickly dominated the platform, but does this mean that every non-kicktoon is inherently better than every kicktoon ever made, no, there are ones that are definitely worse (ie Skibidi Toilet), I just miss the days when indie animation didn’t have to be so commercialized to be popular/successful.

Although to be fair, I haven’t seen any other Kicktoon outside of HB and the pilot of HH, but the problem is that I don’t feel comfortable watching these cartoons by myself because I’m afraid of what they’ll be like; and since I have been living on campus for the past 10 months (I recently got out on summer break btw), the only thing I have to go off of is the “gold standard” for this medium.

But I haven’t explained WHY I don’t like either HH and HB, and it’s a bit simple, I don’t like the pacing, humor, soundtrack, and writing. A lot of people mindlessly hate on it because they think it’s either racist, sexist, homophobic, antisemitic, transphobic, fat phobic, etc, but I highly doubt that a cartoon created by an openly queer Latina American woman would be so bigoted. If you want to see a more in depth review, watch this video made by this guy here, he more or less shares my opinion on both shows:

As for the soundtrack, it’s just so bland, and I expected better from the Living Tombstone, like this soundtrack is so bad that it feels like it was written by Jake Paul. And the same hypocritical idiots who accused the songs in Wish of being written by an AI fucking love it.

Don’t get me wrong, if you like these cartoons but have a valid reason for liking them (instead of being a shill like Saberspark or Cellspex), then that’s fine, this is just my opinion and I’m just trying to vent my frustration. If I offended anyone with these posts, then I’m sorry, I’ll try to make it up to any of you somehow.

Btw, I don’t think that the Kicktoon genre is a bad thing, I just think it has unexplored potential to be good/great. Also, I don’t hate HH and HB, I just think they’re mediocre (but they do have potential, much like the genre they started).