#I feel bad that I haven't been drawing as much
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Recent "Star Trek" reboot universes have really tried to sell me on three different romances for Spock with other TOS characters whom he did not have romantic relationships (at least not positive ones) with in TOS, which makes it particularly annoying when some fans try to squirm away from the idea of ST ever doing a future reboot or remake in which Spock/Kirk are explicitly queer.
Like, "But it's not in the original! They want to be faithful to the original!" really, REALLY does not pass the "I think you might just be discomforted by queerness and you should work on that, rather than making appeals to the authority of textual accuracy to avoid being called a homophobe or transphobe" check here. Because it's not as though these reboots care about perfect faithfulness on pretty much any other front. We'll accept that the costumes and special effects get updated to move with the times, we'll accept wildly different characterization choices that essentially give these characters new personalities, we'll accept new timelines that change the entire political map of the galaxy, but you as a fan draw the line at "What if this character was bisexual this time?" Really???
To be clear, I am not trying to dunk on Spock/Uhura, Spock/Chapel, or Spock/T'Pring here, I am merely trying to illustrate a frustrating double-standard. TOS Uhura does notably flirt with Spock several times! I see it! I remember TOS Chapel's feelings for Spock being one-sided, but I also don't think it's a bad thing to try to update TOS's more misogynistic writing choices regarding female characters. TOS T'Pring did... kind of try to kill Spock because she didn't want to marry him, but again, I don't necessarily think it's immediately a bad thing to try to explore her as a character and her betrothal to Spock. It's fine! It's fine by me to explore new takes in new AUs.
It's just that none of that evidence from TOS for those relationships holds much of a candle to whatever the fuck Kirk and Spock had going on to inspire The Premise. "Amok Time" is an Experience. There's only so many times that Kirk can say something like, "The cost [of abandoning Spock] would have been my soul," before you want to put your face in your hands. They are taking shiny pebbles from TOS and trying their very best to sell them to me as the basis for romantic relationships in reboots, sure, while they are standing in the shadow of Spirk Evidence Mountain (TOS).
(Yes, I have seen the recent "Unification" short film. Yes, I enjoyed it. No, I will not consider Spirk "officially canon" until all plausible deniability for the squirmy folks has been completely, explicitly destroyed by a HUMAN kiss onscreen.)
And okay, I must admit, at the moment, I don't actually want Spirk to eventually happen in "Strange New Worlds" now that they've finally met. I'm mostly indifferent to their Spock and Kirk actors, personally, and the writing for every canonical romantic relationship in both SNW and "Discovery" so far has gotten a solid "well, they certainly are standing next to each other" from me. (Yes, even the gay marriage in "Discovery". I just haven't been into it so far.) I think the writers would fumble Spirk if they tried it in this specific show and then annoying fans would use the fumble as "evidence" never to try to do Spirk or queer retakes on other TOS characters ever again, or as "proof" against other queer ST in other shows characters generally.
I'm mostly just mildly annoyed that I have to keep watching Spock specifically, famously read by many people as a queer man, be straight and messy about it, especially when I'm not sure that SNW has had a canonically explicitly queer main crew member in a relationship yet...? There has not been a queer relationship onscreen in SNW, at least, unless you count M'Benga's daughter Rukiya and her glow cloud friend named Debra, which I personally don't, honestly. There's definitely nothing yet that comes remotely close to the screentime that Spock/Chapel, Spock/T'Pring, and Kirk/La'an have all been given so far, unfortunately. (Sulu is not here yet. Scotty has just shown up. If Scotty gets to make out with a guy next season, or Uhura or Ortegas gets to make out with a lady, without it being part of some god-like-being's fantasy world, then I may be satisfied.) (Also, yes, I am aware of queer characters and relationships in other "Star Trek" shows, thanks. I very much enjoyed Mariner having her incredibly silly breakup with her girlfriend in "Lower Decks".)
"Star Trek" is one of those properties where the double-standards regarding romantic interpretations of the original series jump out. "They can't do Kirk/Spock because they want to be faithful to the original!" Get real.
#mariner lower decks as a main character having incredibly stupid breakups with her girlfriend is the only thing keeping me afloat here#it's too fucking straight in here sometimes someone open a closet#tossawary star trek#spirk#spoilers#reblogs off
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A loose 1 hour drawing to help me get back in the groove of... *gestures* everything
#I feel bad that I haven't been drawing as much#I know why it's a lot of external factors which are taking my time away in a good way#but I want to make more time for my art starting with things I like to draw#i.e. fantasy + horses#kelpie#doodle#fairy tale#digital
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some kisses
#mashwood#trigun#vashmeryl#vashwood#merylwood#stryfewood#trigun stampede#tristamp#vash#vash the stampede#meryl#meryl stryfe#nicholas d. wolfwood#wolfwood#nicholas d wolfwood#my art#myart#I'm trying to learn to draw on th iPad#but it's been hard#I'm never happy with anything I draw there#these aren't that bad tho#the vashmeryl one is my fav#it feels like I haven't posted in forever here in tumblr#feels scary#but I just haven't drawn much this year 😔
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I'm having a bad mood today
Would you draw my blorbo for me please?
#If you have time/energy/willing for that though. No pressure#Im sad and annoyed bc i couldn't get my blood tasted today#They only signed me up for an appointment in a month#And its already been so long since i try to figure out what is wrong with me bc my stomach doesn't work as it supposed to#I'm tired and hurt and all this is very discouraging#Mom tells me to go to the private lab to get my tests done faster but it costs money and we haven't been having much of those#She says that my health is more important and she's right but i just feel so bad and guilty for spending money on myself#When it is possible to get free medical treatment#But URGHHH the free one is sooo looong#And the problem is also that bc im an immigrant here i often don't understand how the system works here and i do mistakes#Like today I came to the hospital thinking i can get my blood tested right away with my doctors prescription in my hand#But no i only got it registered and got an appointment on 17 of December#Fucking urghhh#Im just tired and frustrated that's all#Anyway#Wanna draw buba for me? 👉👈🥺
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Thinks about my next series again... I drew the icon for it!
I'm planning to have it launched within a year! I'm hoping for summer 2025. I want to make a prelaunch page before Time and Time Again ends so people can subscribe if they're interested, but I'm worried the series return would be too early...
#SORRY HAHAHA REPOSTING IMMEDIATELY#i. it. IM SORRY okay the.#i had 'im not interested in the comic' as an option but it immediately made me feel bad#DONT FEEL BAD IF YOU PICKED IT i put it there#i just realized its not really a helpful metric to me at all!#im making the comic either way!#so i just want to gague interest. disinterest doesnt do much for me. you can come and go as you please!#just wanting to retain readers as much as possible but without losing them due to taking too long#ahhhh the balance of marketing. a beautiful beast she is.#anyways yeah hoping to launch like about as tta is ending#or like at LEAST a prelaunch page by then#im also not intending for the prelaunch page to be like. announced...#moreso just a link i append on art for the series!#just so when a drawing of zagan gets 500 notes#people who are interested in what hes from can. see that...#anyways. sorry i haven't been posting work is wild im going 70+ hours a week again i am so tired#not much time to draw non work stuff#im hanging on by a thread of having multiple projects i can bounce between again#and sometimes thats this one! so heres the results of some mental health work variety#we were legion#polls#sorry for the instant repost. in my defense. i am exhausted.#i can not wait until im making a different comic that i can do a fucking. normal ass schedule with#where im not every week gasping for breath in some kind of bad at swimming metaphor.#anyways if youre not interested dont tell me. it doesnt matter to me. no offense but i just dont wanna hear it.#i want to make the comic and my audience as much as i love you all is not going to have any control over what i do with my art#im gonna make this comic if i only get it done on weekends after getting home from the fuckin movie theater#i am not working for webtoon again wnd im not forcing myself into the dirt for comics again#but im also never gonna stop making them. just need to build a healthier relationship!#FUCK I MADE IT A ONE DAY POLL.
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Just a bit of lore relevant vent art (with terrible proportions bc apparently I mess that up horribly when I'm tired ugh. Watch me regret posting this tomorrow. The head size is already driving me mad bc it's too big, and I can feel myself wanting to abort this mission already) of Mourynn just, lying down on top of one of those large elevated Pale Tree roots far above the Grove (and far away from everyone else), and during the time between the early years and before the Personal story. Caithe is gone (Destiny's Edge), Wynne is gone (bc well, y'know...), even Faolain is gone (bc of Caithe in DE), and she's just feeling miserable, lost, and alone. (Her hair is in between her sapling hair and the Zhaitan hair, so it's grown out a bit bc she's depressed, and she's meant to be in the new outfit she designed, but I'm in the process of redesigning it a bit, so I've made a few tentative changes for now. Her collar is now just an extension of her clavicle leaves which can be put up like a collar, or can be draped down over her shoulders or back)
#gw2#sylvari#artgallery#mourynn#mourynn art#I've just been so tired lately bc of work#also just going a bit stir crazy with the silence (lonely; but alas I unfortunately suck at starting convos bc I have nothing interesting t#talk about and work has been draining my social energy; making it even harder :( (I'd rather burn the social energy with friends yknow?)#it's getting a wee bit better; but I haven't had much time or energy to even game while we're in the midst of our busiest season :(#I miss hanging out and chatting with my buds; but the universe insists on keeping us apart :(#just miss having something to look forward to throughout my day. Been trying to fill it with other things; but the depresso is overriding i#Mostly just been me with my thoughts and that is just bad bc I got so many horrors in there lmao.#I wanna at the very least; draw more or game more to distract from it; but work is sapping all my time and energy from it.#but also it's very quiet on my end and it's kicking my overthinking into overdrive so I#Ive just been fighting with my mind lately lmao#hopefully this will all pass soon so I won't obsessively keep thinking about it loll#lol I'd post this in the servers but it's vent art so it feels a bit weird to do; so it's going straight to home video w/o a theater releas#hopefully once work calms down it'll help#(I have so many long shifts makes me so frustrated bc I hate them and I run out of steam half way through)#other than all that I'm doing fine lol. My brain's always been like this; But I usually only get like this during the winter season#(bc of the holidays making everything quiet and also the SAD) so it feels weird having this exact same feeling happen to me in July lol
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if you thought the smooth gloria was bewildering then buckle up for the next picture
#text post#health update: ouhghh houghh oughhhh#i'm not suuuuuper sick but i'm the least sick of everybody here so i haven't been able to rest up much#hopefully some relaxing drawing and some bedrest will help#in summation: feel bad but nothing serious
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here's some benreys for y'all!!! it's meal time little ones!!!! nobody starves today. i provide
also random gordo he's here too i guess-
#hlvrai#benrey#gordon feetman#i really wanna just. spit out hlvrai content everywhere all the time#STUFF. i hate the word content. 's just stuff#i just wanna give back to the fandom yk?#i've been reading so much wonderful fanfiction lately and i love everyone's creativity so muchhh#and i Wanna Create!!!!!!#i wanna give back!!!!!#i wanna inspire!!!!!#screw depression i wanna write and draw and Scream#i've never written anything before#okay that was a lie but. like#i haven;t written stories in a While#like 4 years maybe#and Definitely haven't written anything in english#and i kinda sorta have ideas but not really#and i feel like im really bad at understanding characters and keeping them in my brain#and im so desperate for ideas but there isn't a Spark that would grab my attention and make me go brrrrrrrr#what do people do in situations like thisssss#is there like a weird silly way to write fanfic that makes things less scary..#weird upsidedown stupid little fanfic game thing#okay my brain blinked i think im done#i'll keep y'all updated maybe probably?#k thanks for coming to my ted talk byeeeee!!!#art tag or whatever
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Some stream thumbnails I drew recently!!
#frogarts#oc#froggiee#thumbnail#deep rock galactic#pico park#backrooms escape together#trivia murder party#poppy playtime#chained together#vicera cleanup detail#league of legends#aram#The last three aren't suuuper recent but I haven't used them much so I included them!!#I still really like my lethal one but I post that one enough since I love to stream that game haha#I feel like I've been getting better at making thumbs!!#Sometimes not having one makes me hesitant to stream a game but also they're SO CUTE when I do finish em#Soooo just gotta push through and draw a bunch of em!#I still have a lot in various stages of wips so I'll keep on going!#Also haven't been able to stream as much lately because the internet is being BAD#There's so many games I want to play this month too#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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"For a self-proclaimed researcher... I thought you'd know by now that Psychic-types are weak against Ghost." "Morty-ehehe! B-But I'm nohohot a type specialist!" "Maybe should've thought of that first before deciding to wake me up so early."
A spiritual successor to this lil doodle of mine 🫣💖💕
#sacredshipping#morty x eusine#morty/eusine#gym leader morty#morty pokemon#eusine#mystery man eusine#eusine pokemon#pokemon tickle#'tis the season to be giggly or however that song goes askjdasnd//////////////////#pretty much a self-indulgent treat for myself this holiday season SDKJFSNKDFNS it's been real quiet this time 'round#I honestly don't usually look forward to christmas anyways since I have some bad memories tied to it :'D though it has been exceptionally--#--all over the place this year; partly on the busyness and errands being run on my household's side--#--though mainly on my own headspace and how I haven't.............. been great- these past few months#December in particular has been a time of reflection for me and it's just--been a lot - to grapple with#I needed to distance myself from things to try to make sense of myself---and still - I'm not quite sure where to go from here just yet#but I'll figure it out - one day. I finally do have a schedule with that new psychologist so that's something to look forward to#and I'm trying to get my bearings where I am now so--that's at least something to be grateful for I feel ❤️#got a bit sad there so I deserve to draw my sillies being tickly as a gift for myself yes yes akjsdajsknd#I've always wanted to draw a lee!Eusine ever since he's been implanted in my mind graaaaaaAAAHHHHHHHHHH /affectionate#let them be soft and sweet and domestic and silly with each other it's what they deserve 🫵🫵🫵
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Ep 10!
#Idk it was. An episode. Not many thoughts tbh ajhdblabfdl#The Kyouka / Akutagawa scene is my favourite ever. But I suppose there's little to say about them I haven't said already lol.#The “Because I knew a man who had the same eyes as yours” will never stop being endlessly impactful.#And I still find it very remarkable how Kyouka is pretty much literally the only person other than Dazai that Akutagawa respects.#It hits me so hard.#Nothing else to add? I think the storywriting in this arc is very good. The plot twists are very well executed.#I remember when I was reading the manga and Ranpo challenged Chuuya face off I was so hooked!!#I was like‚ how is he going to win!!! It's very nice.#I think it's interesting that Atsushi stayed behind with Kunikida instead of facing the pm with the rest of the pm.#I wish we'd explored his decision and state of mind more‚ especially since he was portrayed as being visibly conflicted.#I think part of it simply solves a storytelling purpose of not leaving Kunikida alone...#But I don't think that necessarily means the decision doesn't suit him. Atsushi really looks up to Fukuzawa.#His trauma probably makes him more reluctant to break orders than‚ let's say‚ Ranpo.#And he's always been very spokenly against violence.#Idk. I just think it's interesting.#The line “Kunikida‚ you're the strongest and most virtuous of us in the Agency. That's why the enemy tried to break you first.”#is very emotional#The animation is so strained it makes me feel bad for the animators. So many static frames lingering for so long...#I feel like the result isn't necessarily terrible either. The drawings are not ugly‚ just very undetailed.#But it really feels like there was a group of people doing the best they could with the llittle they had...#random rambles#And I'm now all caught up with the rewatch!!!!!!!! 🥳🥳🥳 See you on Wednesday!!!!!
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Hey all, just wanted to apologize for the lack of new posts since returning. I've had some pretty serious burnout lately due to health issues leaving me pretty exhausted, physically and mentally. It's taken a bit of a toll on my creative output as I've been struggling to find inspiration and energy to do much of anything.
I'm still trying to work on getting at least something here and there that I can post, but it'll probably be pretty limited for a while until we figure out what's going on. And admittedly most of the time I have spent drawing lately has been of OCs, and I don't generally post OC art. <<;
Anyways, just wanted to explain that I haven't fallen off the planet or anything yet, just having a bit of a hard time right now. Sorry for the lack of content!
#I've been wanting to draw more AU stuff and I had a whole idea for a Halloween thing with Infidget but I was just so tired#even OC art wise I haven't been doing much either maybe a sketch once in a blue moon#I thought about maybe trying to write some things out to maybe draw at a later date? but I'm honestly a terrible writer#I need to try queuing up more reblogs too but I'm just so tired that it's easier scrolling through Bluesky or Twitter#I don't gotta worry about tagging or anything over there lol#this exhaustion is also why I took so long to finish game related stuff.. just didn't feel up to playing games#that and one of my more obnoxious symptoms is extreme dizziness and motion sickness#and Sonic games are reaaalllyy good at making those symptoms worse xD#anyways hopefully I'll have some answers within the next few months and can work on fixing it#I reaaaallyy wanna work on some of the comic ideas I had#at least two were based off some AUs and one was a kind of introductory/prologue and I wanna try making it so bad#I'm bad at long form comics but I wanted to tryyyy
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I feel like I've forgotten the last time I've drawn anything and posted it here. And to be truthfully honest, this isn't even recent for the most part. It's an old piece of linework I did months ago I only colored recently to get out of an artblock. I didn't know what to do with the background either, so I barely did anything. I hope that it's cool, nonetheless.
#all in all recently i just#haven't been feeling the best#i'm not doing much these days but sitting in bed and going to work#even then my hours have been cut pretty bad so i'm not doing much of work either#these two aren't even on my mind the way they used to be i think#but that doesn't mean they aren't there at all#soon enough i'll start feeling better#and then i'll get back to writing and drawing newer stuff#i do want to make some fanart too when i'm more interested in drawing and stuff#i still have ideas i want to put down that i'm sad i didn't do during artfight#but there's no time like the present i suppose#one of these days i'll just decide to get to that.#pokémon#pmd#pokémon mystery dungeon#skitty#riolu#mace the riolu#suzy the skitty
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roblox death noise
#vigo's pancreatitis is better now btw#he's bounced back really well and i cannot overstate my relief#but the entire ordeal and vet bill broke me#*i* haven't bounced back from it#like i've already been shouldering a lot and that made me snap lmfao#so i've just been like moseying along day to day waiting for the evening so i can go back to sleep#talking takes too much energy. so does just. yk. emoting like an average ass person lmao#i feel like terrible company. idk#cant draw cant write cant exercise can barely walk my dog#and i hate it b/c it feels like i'm fishing for excuses#ive had therapists tell me i'm very self-aware and i dont mean that in a 'i got a good grade in therapy' type of way LMAO#but in the 'if i know then i know then why am i here spinning my wheels and boohooing' type of way#like despite my own bad habits i wanna consider myself a person who has at least some hope and ambition#but i've just been super like done. lmaoo#but lately i just cant. i cannot envision a future for myself. not w/ the way things are.#these are things that *should* be independent of me but aren't. so i get roped into taking care of things.#over and over and over and over again. for over 10 years LMFAO#anyway i'm just vaguely whining no advice is being requested ty : )#xangoeswah
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When do you plan to draw Gaius x Robin again ?\>////</
mahalo 🤗
#anon#ask box#look im glad ppl like the ocxcanon stuff i used to draw a lot of in the past and genuinely wish to see them again#but when ppl ask me when i plan on drawing them again when it's been a while since i last drew them it just...leaves a bad taste in my mout#and it actually makes me Not want to draw them out of spite#like if i feel like drawing them again then i will!!#unfortunately i just haven't been feeling it lately and i don't wanna force it bc someone asked me to#bc then im drawing when i don't want to and that takes out all the fun in drawing them#but i draw for myself first and foremost#if you only followed me for a specific content that i don't draw much of anymore you're more than welcome to unfollow!#you have no obligation to keep following me if you don't want to nor do i have the obligation to draw to please ppl on the internet!#anyways i try to...ignore these types of asks bc they just end up like 👆 if i answer them but they just come up every once in a while so...#sorry for the way this may come off i really do appreciate when ppl say they love and miss the ocxcanon i used to draw a lot of#but im tired and work stresses me out and i don't need drawing for the sake of posting on the internet to be another stressor in my life
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245 hours in my first playthrough of bg3 now fellas,, how are y'all doing?
A lot of hours were probably spent idle but surely not 45hrs or more-
#og leo post#bg3#gamin#this is why i don't play many games i think.. when i do play they just consume my life#its not like it feels bad- but I haven't had time to draw much. and my ability to focus on other stuff has been compromised#having lots of fun though
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