#I feel I should also mention that this is in part a practical concern
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pb-dot · 3 months ago
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I agree, and let me tell you a surprising group that agrees with me: The Dogme 95 directors.
Now, for those of you not in the know, Dogme 95 was a Danish film movement headed by Director And All Around Pretty Fucked Up Dude Lars Von Trier. Dogme 95 was an effort to put the craft of filmmaking, storytelling, and acting into focus in a film world where studio control, special effects and gimmicks had taken primacy.
The Dogme rules are rather strict, stating no "superficial" sources of tension such as violence or sex is to be employed in the storytelling, no special effects in lighting or post-processing, no taking the plot forwards or backwards in time, music is only allowed if it is produced on location and in the plot, and so on. If one were a cynical soul one could call it a "no fun allowed" kind of list, but there is no denying it makes things a great deal more realistic.
HOWEVER, the rules of lighting states the following:
(If there is too little light for exposure the scene must be cut or a single lamp be attached to the camera.) from Wikipedia
This is to say that even in the most restrictive rulesets for filmmaking in the name of realism ever codified, at least to my knowledge, exceptions are made to allow extra lighting if the alternative is pitch fucking black. Film is, after all, an audiovisual medium.
directors using colorful or "impossible" lighting to convey mood and meaning and beauty my beloved. directors making night scenes impossible to see for the sake of realism my beloathed.
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sourcherryandsprinkles · 5 months ago
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I have a request for Jacaerys Velaryon x reader. They have been married for some time, but Jace still had feelings for Baela. He has never cheated and was always respectful towards reader, though. Jacaerys and her performed their duties and eventually she got pregnant. The fact that reader is now carrying his child makes them grow closer and Jace starts to fall in love with his wife.
For this one, the legitimacy of Rhaenyra’s children was called into question and there was no betrothals between Rhaenyra’s boys and Daemon’s twins.
Warnings: pregnancy (I don't like pregnancies when I read/write, but this one was okay and mostly a small part of the story)
my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time
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When King Viserys fell, a prince showed up to your home and asked your mother, Jeyne Arryn, for her support to Princess — now Queen — Rhaenyra’s claim. In her message, Rhaenyra didn’t fail to mention her mother, Aemma of House Arryn, and remind Lady Jeyne that she shared Arryn blood through her. Your mother was hesitant, knowing her support would make Daemon Targaryen king consort, but she couldn’t give her support to the Greens. So, she agreed but demanded to get something in exchange: a husband for her only daughter.
You didn’t like the idea of being sold for politics, but according to your mother it was part of being a woman. 
Married life wasn’t bad like you thought. Jacaerys was a respectful and kind man, but there was one problem: he had feelings for another. 
You didn’t take long to notice that his heart was elsewhere. It was written in the silence. The way he looked at Baela, the way he smiled at her — a special smile he kept just for her. He had undeniable feelings for her. You begged for attention, time, acknowledgment, but Jacaerys was never fully with you. Him and Baela spent a lot of time together riding their dragons together or practicing High Valyrian in the great hall, which left you hurt and jealous. Other than the red gem on your finger that matched the one of his cloak-pin, you had nothing in common. 
Sitting in your chamber, you held a necklace of your house’s sigil. The gold was cool against your skin, a stark contrast to the warmth of the fire crackling in the hearth. You hadn't seen your mother since the beginning of the war and you missed her dearly. You exchanged messages by raven, but it wasn’t the same as seeing her in person. 
A tear slipped down your cheek, wishing for this war to be over soon. 
The door of your chambers creaked open, snapping you out of your sorrowful reverie. You glanced over your shoulder and saw Jacaerys in his armor after a day spent teaching the dragonseeds. It was a smart idea to get more dragons and riders on their side, but also a lot of work. 
‘’What are you doing?’’ he asked, his voice a mix of concern and curiosity.  
‘’Missing home, that’s all,’’ you replied, quickly wiping the tear away and forcing a smile. The weight of the necklace seemed heavier than ever as you clutched it in your hand.
Jacaerys stepped further into the room, running a hand through his tousled hair. He crossed the space between you in a few strides, his expression softening. ‘’Don’t cry. I hate it when you cry.’’ He wiped your tear and sat next to you. ‘’I’ll take you to the Vale when it’s safe,’’ Jacaerys promised, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. ‘’I would take you now if it wasn’t so dangerous to fly over Kingsroad. The Greens have taken Harrenhal and—’’ 
‘’Is my mother okay? You promised you would send a dragon to watch over my home.’’  
He nodded. ‘’Rhaena left this morning with Joffrey and three dragon eggs. They should hatch soon and assure more protection to the Vale.’’ 
You let out a shaky breath, the news offering a small measure of relief. 
A few moons later, you announced to Jacaerys that you were pregnant. It was a surprise as you only had the occasion to lay together two times, but it’s been two moons since you last bled and the maester confirmed your suspicions. You were with child. 
The timing was not ideal, but the Queen was beyond happy for you and Jacaerys. She hosted a small feast in your honor, and made everyone keep your pregnancy a secret. Jacaerys was her heir, making your baby his heir. If the news got to their ears, she feared you would become a target for the Greens.
At the table, Baela congratulated you with a smile. You thought she would be bitter, but she was genuinely happy for you. 
As the weeks went by, the walls that once stood between you began to crumble and you and Jacaerys started getting closer. He would spend more time in the evening in your chambers, talking by the hearth while eating lemon tarts. And ask how the baby was although your stomach was barely round every time he returned from teaching the dragonseeds. 
You’ll never forget the look on his face when felt the baby move for the first time. The stars of complete amazement. He kissed you that night — a real kiss. 
On the seventh moon, as you were getting ready for your bath, you felt blood dripping down your leg.  Terrified, you asked one of the servants to fetch the maester and the Queen. She had other — more pressing — business to take care of, but you needed the reassurance of a mother by your side.
The news ran through the castle and made it way to Jacaerys, who dropped everything he was doing and ran through the corridors of Dragonstone to get to you. 
His face pale with worry when he bursted in your chamber, thinking you were going to lose the baby like his mother did. An early bleeding was how it started. 
‘’I’m fine, Jace. Maester Gerardys said bleeding can happen,’’ you said, taking his hand and pressing it over your belly. ‘’Our baby is fine.’’
House of the dragon taglist: @khaleesihavilliard @domoron @ididliquorice @lover-of-helios @lover-of-helios @shine101 @tanyaherondale@mikariell95 @serrendiipty @lantsovheiress @gilliananderfuckme @shine101 @tetgod @clayzayden@memeorydotcom @tnu-ree @futuregws @blackravena @winxschester @mysteriouslydelightfulchaos @xxlaynaxx @secretsthathauntus @pilarxxxaguayo @emmavan39 @stargaryenx @erylilly @bbblackmamba @rainedrop97 @dreamer087 @gothicgay14 @ashlatano7567 @superkittywonderland @justaproudslytherpuff @evesolstice @buckysmainhxe @padfootsvixen @scarletmeii @evesolstice @dkathl @kaywsworld @tetgod @padfootsvixen @domoron  @weird-addiction @angeliod @xjennyx2 @adaydreamaway08  @mymultiveres  @secretsthathauntus  @puffycreamcakes @thirsty4nonlivingmen @naty-1001 @katiepie67 @moshpot24x @hc-geralt-23 @lovelynerdytraveler @saturn-sas  @zgzgh @sssjuico10 @tabloidteen @timetoten @deekaag @wondxrgurl @aerangi @strmborns @astridyoo15 @daemonslittlebitch @queenbeestuffs @severewobblerlightdragon @agentstarkid @msliz @vane1999-blog @fairyfolkloresposts @todaywasafairytale07 @otomaniac @zgzgzh @thebeardedmoon @golden-library @kikyrizuki @hnslchw @camy85 @winxschester @armstrongscommentsection @withfireandbl00d @randomstory56 @JudgmentDays-Girl @darylandbethfanforever9 @darylandbethfanforever9 @aegonswife @dakotapaigelove @jays-bullshit
All and more taglist: @kenqki@hawkegfs@gillybear17@black-rose-29@fudge13@cece05@laylasbunbunny@gemofthenight@beautyb1ade@mellabella101 @vxnity713  @bisexualgirlsblog@queenofslytherin889 @thatbxtchesblog @softb-tterfly @ethanlandrycanbreakmyheart  @xyzstar  @graceberman3   @mikeyspinkcup @jackierose902109 @daisydark @laurasdrey @mischieftom @fanatic4niall @peterholland04 @idkwhattonamethisblogs  @lexasaurs634  @notasadgirlipromise @zoeynicolas @thejuleshypothesis @multi-fandom-bi-bitch @lexasaurs634  @notasadgirlipromise @thejuleshypothesis  @katherinejess  @rafesgirlstuff   @lafleshlumpeater @iamluminosity  @Anouknani-2305 @books0fever @papichulo120627 @qardasngan @ghostlyvoidydragon @M0rgans1nterlud3 @dahlia-blossom21
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hor3nee · 11 months ago
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• Life •
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Sukuna grappling becoming a father while you give birth.
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CW/TW: GN! reader, Labour/Childbirth, Sukuna typical violence mentions, BRIEF suggestive stuff, Nothing graphic, Religious metaphors & LOTS of life/death talk, (LMK if I should add anything else!)
Characters: Sukuna x Reader
AN: Nobody dies in this fic! It's fluff-ish. (It's Sukuna and reader giving birth, as fluffy as that can be man), prequel to this Descendant fic
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   Life was such a fickle thing, not that it mattered to Sukuna. He was above life, death sickness and health, beyond it, above the proper empathy to care for it. It wasn't that he didn't understand, because he did, once mortal himself, and existing on this earth surrounded by the humanity that populated on it for years as a curse, he understood. But there was no legitimate reason for it to matter to him unless he could gain from a life, there was no reason to mind it.
And by the loose, greedy and otherwise just gluttonous standards of what it meant to be a creature of 'gain' to Sukuna, you fit it to the T, your life mattered to him. Your life, it was something he wanted, no needed to maintain to be kept satisfied, if you weren't there to be by his side, he'd be left starved.
To lose such a thing, would only ignite a certain wrath inside of him.
The screams of agony that parted from your pretty little lips had his chest twisting into a feeling of irritation. He much preferred your screams of ecstasy, making you scream his name in sweet pretty moans when he bedded you. Not this, screams of something he was also the culprit of in fairness, sobbed screams of pain as your body tore to birth his child.
Sukuna enjoyed such screeches of terror, weak defeated sobs he could rip and tear from the pathetic lot of mortals he terrorized, all of whose lives served no purpose to him. The issue is, yours does serve purpose, a great purpose to Sukuna. You're always there, by his side, and when you're not, it bothers him, he's greedy, hungry for you.
Your pain only infuriates him, he doesn't like it at all, no, he loathes listening to it.
Finally, finally, it stops after what felt like torturously long, it comes to a stop. Like that, the tightness inside his chest unwrapped, Sukuna didn't think he'd ever feel relief, he wouldn't need to, he had never fought an opponent he couldn't defeat, pillaged an army that would come close to his strength there was no concerns or worry for him to have to be relieved from. Yet here he was basking in such relief. Your screams stop, now instead replaced by the bothersome cries of something much more smaller. Squeaky small wails, that of an infant. his infant.
"Lord Sukuna." A muttered voice of one of the midwives comes through the door separating Sukuna from the delivery room. The door opens to the midwives attending finishing up and then all bowing in submission, their heads hanging low as Sukuna stands by the door-frame.
"Done?" He asks, more so a statement, a demand as everything he speaks is.
"Yes-" The meek voice of a midwife responds, she not daring to look up from the floor of the delivery room.
"Then what the hell are you dimwitted fools doing? OUT." There's the slightest growl in his voice at the command, one that though slight works wonders on any who dare stand in his presence, and to which without a moment of hesitation has all the midwives scatter out of the room, rushing out with their heads low. Only one pauses to shut the door behind herself, not wanting to risk the stupidity of leaving the door open.
Now, only the sounds of a baby's cries echo in the room, the small thing wrapped, protected in a small blanket. The moment is deafening as it is loud, there are as many thoughts as there is nothing in his eyes as he stares at the small baby you held. Yes, you made his child, 9 tedious months of him practically carrying you around everywhere and it was out now.
Sukuna was, well Sukuna, he didn't bother thinking much of the specifics, but rather the obvious reality of the situation during those passing months, and didn't see a reason to. He could still sleep with you, could still have you around, could still listen to your voice speak with him in converse. Was it different? Sure, but in no way that bothered him. Cravings? The King of the Curses can provide feasts. Tired? You needn't walk, he has four arms for a reason. The bodily change? Sukuna guts humans like pigs, the size of your stomach was far from grotesque to such a demon like Sukuna.
But now, he is met with the reality, the sight, the sound the smell of the newborn babe, absolutely reeking of familiarity, a literal complete being of two halves, Sukuna and you. It's overwhelming, and not in the way Sukuna likes, not in the hedonistic pleasures he enjoys but rather overwhelming in thoughts. Thoughts as rampant as blank in his mind, fogged like he was considering all of this.
"Sukuna." A clear call of his name comes from your throat despite its audible hoarseness of exhaustion, still as captivating as always, catching his entire attention. No one can command the Sukuna, but he doesn't need to be commanded when you call for him, because it's in his full will and gratification to come to your side, which he of course does. Stepping softly to where you are laid, surrounded by stained sheets, tools and incense presumably used in aid of the birth.
"What?" His throat rumbles, a question with no particular answer aside from the obvious literal whole baby you had birthed in your arms.
"Look at them... Beautiful, aren't they?" And perhaps by the grace of a god he'd doubted existed, there was a moment of serenity now, the fog cleared from the depths of his sick mind as he gazed upon the small bundle in your arms. That was your grace perhaps, no definitely, definitely your grace, you had bore his child.
That damned sinister grin came over his face as he reached down to the infant, the large monstrously large hand of his ever so delicately traced the cheek of the little one, a comical contrast between himself and the child. For the entirety of you and Sukuna's time spent together, he had considered you the only life that truly mattered to him, and now you had created a life from the mere womb, you've given him another life he'd find true importance in.
His child's life, blessed by the sanctified arms that cradled it.
"Divine, rather." He rumbled, a short snicker leaving his twisted tongue, but laced with genuine adoration. Utter devotion to this small life, to both two lives he had found himself so graciously gifted. Of you, of his child.
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pressureplus · 4 months ago
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Sebastian Solace Injury Headcannons
Warnings: Mentions of blood, anxiety, and Injury, but nothing too particularly graphic, You show up at his shop hurt and he takes care of you
(The way he cares for your injuries slightly varies depending on your relationship)
◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟
Platonic
• Immediately starts to chastise you the second he can smell the blood on you
• He doesn't have a nose, so how he scrunches it up is beyond you
• Your med kit isn't free, so you definitely owe him and yes, he will remember you owe him
• You can't refuse tho, he's already patching you up before you can really do anything about it
• What are you gonna do, fight him? Fight a thing more than 5 times your size with claws like steel knives? I don't think so.
• He's pretty good at patching wounds, and stays relaxed the whole time he's doing it
• The motions are practiced and easy as he cleans and gauzes and wraps you up
• "Because I pity you, I'll even let you lay on the cot in the corner of my shop, hmm?"
• Understands you are useless and stupid and small, so he guesses he can help you out and demand whatever extra data you have I'm your pockets about a week from now
• He isn't exactly the most concerned with your well-being, but does go out of his way to help you and take care of you sooo...
• You must mean something to him right?
If you're not together but he likes you
• Actually gets a little worried
• He flusters easily, the crush he has for you making it a little bit more difficult for him to think clearly
• That crush making his harsh reactions harsher and his soft ones hard to verbalize
• He grabs you
• I don't have any other way to put this, he literally just reaches out and grabs you before he really thinks about it
• You don't get an explanation, you don't get scolding, he just huffs and gets pissy while he's patching you
• "I thought you were better than this- You REALLY ended up this hurt over something so easy to get away from?"
• Yes, he knows the foul mouth he's got is tanking his chances of ever actually being with you, but he already figures you're never going to want to kiss a fish so why should he care?
• Even if rejection is imminent and unavoidable, and even if he feels the constant need to be mean to you so he can protect himself, he'll still take care of you
• He does like you for a reason- a lot of reasons. And he thinks about those reasons quite a bit... Of course he wants you to be okay
• You're his favorite person, and he would rather die than admit that but also would 100% prioritize your medical care over working his shop
• Him being so fast to grab and tend to your wounds is probably one of the only things you've ever seen from him that's made you sure he doesn't hate you
• Look, there's no way this man would be smoothing his thumb over your newly applied bandages and looking upset at the notion you'd be hurt without you being SOME kind of important
• It doesn't matter how stupid you are, dummy or not, this shit is painfully obvious when he's getting vulnerable over the idea of you getting a nasty enough scar
• Will not let you leave the cot in the room until you're all better, so get ready to be defensively degraded by your favourite shopkeeper for several consecutive days!
If you are together
• Open. Meltdown.
• Panicking, throwing the door on his little store closed and coddling you like you'll fall apart if he's not treating you with the utmost care
• Even scraped knees and bumped elbows get treated like they need full medical, so you can imagine the sort of reactions you're getting to actually bleeding
• Part of him immediately blames himself while he's frantically tending to your injuries, thinking he should have watched you better today, thinking that he should have protected you right
• The next part of him promises he'll be getting whoever or whatever did this to you back for it just as soon as you're all mended and comforted
• He's a mess, a muttering, coddling mess
• You get little kisses to the bandages, as well as some quiet murmurs that attempt to get onto you for not being careful
• The grip you've got around this man's heart is too much for him to be angry, nor pretend to
• You may nearly make him cry if it's bad enough, and his hands may shake at the sight of you so hurt
• Will threaten you if you even THINK about dying, remember he can do worse to you and will if you don't shut up, he can't cope with thinking about losing you shut up shut up shut up-
• Until you're healed, you aren't leaving his bed. He puts you in HIS bed and cuddles up to you any chance that he gets
• You're going to get teased when you're all better and his brain registers it's not a big deal, but until then this is your big, protective fishy husband whether you two have gotten married officially or not
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thebenjiblackwoodexpress · 4 months ago
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Devil's Snare part.2
Aemond Targaryen x Reader
Description: Having realised that he's fallen in love with his handmaiden, Aemond tries to sway her heart to him despite her shy and introverted disposition. But he quickly finds that her heart is not easily won. Can the Prince succeed in winning his Lady with an unlikely combination of books, Vhagar, and advice from his sister Helaena.
Part 1 Part 3
Writer's note: thank you to everyone who read and enjoyed part 1. Hoping this doesn't stray too far from the direction you want it to go in. I have another part planned but would also welcome suggestions :)
Warnings: female reader, dual-pov narrative, slow-burn, mention of Granny Vhagar (she deserves her own trigger warning), lots of angst and lots of fluff too, pining, potentially ooc Aemond (although our Lord and saviour Ewan Mitchell agrees he's really just a Teddy Bear). Lengthy as always because if there's one thing I can't do it's get to the point.
Y/N huffed in frustration as she tried to replicate the braided hairstyle Helaena's handmaiden had shown her to little success. She tended to wear her hair in the same practical style each day, not having much skill in this regard. But her newfound intimacy with the Princess had led her to a friendship with her maid, who had a particular skill for elaborate hairstyles. Realising she would be late to her morning duties should she restart, she tied off the braid and set off for Prince Aemond's chambers. In truth, she now preferred to arrive at the Prince's chambers early so she could greet him for the day before he headed off to the training yard and she wouldn't see him again until that evening.
They had come to form what Y/N supposed could be considered a friendship, if any such relationship could exist between a servant and a Prince. Though she could not help her natural timidity, which prevented her from ever feeling truly comfortable in his presence and often prone to stuttering over her words. Prince Aemond seemed more than willing to accommodate this facet of her personality. He always listened to her so attentively, never interrupting her when she stumbled over her words as others often did in frustration.
With the gentle encouragement of Prince Aemond and his sister the Princess Helaena, Y/N had slowly begun to come more and more out of her shell. She recalled only a few nights ago how the Prince had made her laugh so carelessly, completely forgetting her introverted tendencies. He had been kind enough to lend her books from his private collection as she became more comfortable with reading under Helaena's guidance, and he had explicitly told her to select any that should interest her. As she was dusting the upper shelves in his chambers one evening she'd reached for an ornate tome of red leather that she could now tell concerned dragons. Y/N had always been fascinated with the creatures, thinking them godlike and otherworldly and was eager to learn more about them now that this was possible. It took a few attempts of her reaching as far as she could on tiptoe for her fingertips to even graze the spine of the book, it being on the top shelf and Y/N eventually resorted to jumping for it to no avail. Giving up with a huff to blow the hair that had escaped from her braid out of her face, she startled to see a hand reach for the book she'd wanted.
It had amused Aemond no small amount to see his handmaiden's ill fated attempts to reach the book she wanted from his shelves but he'd quickly stepped towards her as she'd made a jump for it, not wishing her to do anything which might cause her injury. He felt a satisfying sense of pride at being able to be of assistance to her, extending his own arm for the red book which he easily reached with his tall stature. It gratified him to feel she might have need of him and that he could be someone she looked to. Handing it out to her, he smiled encouragingly as he saw what volume had taken her interest this time. "So it is dragons you wish to read of? Have they long held your interest Y/N?" Taking the book from him, Y/N's eyes lit with a spark of uncontained excitement Aemond had rarely seen in his handmaiden. "I have since I was a young girl, they are such magnificent creatures. So beautiful and yet so powerful."
Humming in agreement at her assessment, Aemond's smile only grew as he leaned his head closer to her. "Would you like to meet one? I should be glad to introduce you to mine own, Vhagar." Y/N's face paled slightly at his suggestion. "I think I would be terrified if I were to actually meet a dragon in the flesh, My Prince. But I thank you for your most generous offer." Aemond feigned a pensive look for a moment. "I wouldn't be so sure of that, Y/N the fierce dragon rider has a certain ring to it? Does it not?" Aemond's heart swelled at the sweet sound of her laughter, the laughter he had provoked from his shy girl. And yet, he wished her to know that she would never have been in any danger had she taken him up on his offer, Vhagar would heed his commands and surely sense the importance this girl held for her rider. Looking at her earnestly as her laughter quietened, he spoke in a tone he hoped would convey the truth of his words. "You would always be safe with me, Y/N."
Y/N felt her heart flutter at the memory of Prince Aemond's words and as she passed along the halls of the Red Keep she briefly wondered what the Prince might think of her new hairstyle. She almost scoffed at herself for the ridiculousness of the thought, unsure of where it had even come from. As if the Prince should ever think of her hair, or indeed think of her at all when she was gone from his sight. Y/N looked down to ensure she did not trip in her haste as she neared the Prince's chambers. Just as she rounded the corner to his chambers she collided with a hard figure, letting out a yelp and closing her eyes tightly as she braced for a fall. Arms quickly wrapped around her to stop her momentum, one encircling her waist, the other wrapping around her shoulders. Y/N opened her eyes to find it was the Prince Aemond himself holding her and she smiled sheepishly up at him in embarrassment at the situation they found themselves in.
"I apologise My Prince, I was not looking where I was going." Quirking his lip up at her, Aemond pulled Y/N back up but maintained a gentle hold on her elbows to steady her. "I am only glad I was here to catch you little one." Y/N blushed at that and turned away from him slightly to hide it. A second later the Prince had let go of her entirely, taking a step back.
"I will see you later, Y/N."
Y/N tried to look anywhere but at Prince Aemond's eyes as she nodded.
"Yes, My Prince. I wish you a good day."
The Prince wasted no time in turning on his heels to stalk away from her and she could not help but feel that perhaps she had made him angry.
Aemond had waited in his chambers longer than was usual that morning, hoping to catch even a brief glimpse of his pretty handmaiden before he left to spend the day training with Ser Criston. He'd noticed she had begun to arrive earlier at his chambers and he felt hope surge in him that perhaps she sought him out, that she might enjoy their conversations as he did. When she did not show and he could tarry no longer he let out a growl of frustration and practically stormed from his room. Coming round a corner at such a great speed Aemond's eyes widened in alarm as he smacked straight into the very girl who consumed his thoughts. Quickly wrapping his arms around her so she would not fall, he frantically ran his eyes down her form to reassure himself he had not hurt her.
Aemond was momentarily stunned as Y/N opened her eyes and graced him with a sweet smile that had him tightening his hold on her, relishing the feeling of holding her in his arms. He scoffed inwardly at her apology, he had been only too happy to catch her, and had hoped to amuse her with his playful response. But as her cheeks reddened to a deep scarlet and she turned her face away from him, he relented. He pulled her to stand upright, though he could not help maintaining a light hold on her elbows in case she should stumble. Aemond did so love to see her blush, having convinced himself it must mean he had some power to affect her as she did him. But he did not wish to embarass her and cause her to put any more distance between them. He felt keenly that there was a wide enough chasm already.
The Prince tried to keep his tone even and remove any hint of the frustration he felt. He had begun to fear the worst, that Y/N would never feel truly comfortable with him, and if that were the case how could she ever learn to love him? Was he truly so displeasing to her, so terrifying? Anger coursed through his veins at the blow he had been dealt by the Seven in losing his eye, a disfigurement which he feared would also cost him the love of the woman before him, which he had come to covet above all else. Not wishing to show his already timid handmaiden his anger, he took his leave quickly.
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Y/N gnawed on her bottom lip in her anxiety. She'd been stewing the entire day over her brief meeting with Prince Aemond that morning and inwardly cursing herself for her reaction to his simply helping her. It had clearly angered him, though she knew not why. She found herself wishing she were not so timid, that she could meet his gaze more easily, not stutter so much when she spoke to him. But the Seven had made her so and she could not see her natural disposition disappearing anytime soon. Nevertheless, she endeavoured to present a more welcoming figure when he returned to his chambers that evening and mend any infraction she had inadvertently caused.
As Prince Aemond reentered his chambers for the evening, Y/N turned to greet him with a warm smile lighting her face. "Good evening, My Prince. I trust you had a pleasant day." Y/N often greeted him as such, and the Prince would always readily respond with details of his training with the knight Ser Criston. She had hoped that falling into their normal routine would smooth over any irritation he might still feel towards her, but the smile fell from her face as he only continued to stand in the doorway staring at her. They passed a few moments in silence before Aemond spoke, so softly she had to strain to hear him. "You've changed your hair." That had been the last thing she'd expected him to say to her and she felt her heartbeat increase at the fact that he had noticed.
"The Princess Helaena had her maid show me some braiding techniques when I expressed an interest. She is kind to me."
"It is lovely." At Prince Aemond's words Y/N felt her cheeks burn and butterflies erupt in her stomach. But she forced herself not to shy away from his complement, lest she offend him as she had that morning.
"Thank you, My Prince. I am glad you should think so." Aemond's already handsome features lit up in a genuine smile, seemingly content at her accepting his compliment.
"You are always lovely."
Y/N's mouth parted slightly in surprise. Complimenting a change in hairstyle was one thing, calling her lovely another entirely. She could not understand his motivation for such a compliment, and felt immediately suspicious of it, despite the wild beating of her treacherous heart. She was just a servant girl, and could not possibly hope to have any claim to the heart of a Prince, so what did he mean by calling her lovely? Not knowing how to respond for the best,  Y/N bystepped his words altogether and cleared her throat awkwardly. "I had the wine you requested brought up, it is on the console, and the books you requested brought from the library are on your desk. Will there be anything else this evening, My Prince?"
Y/N watched with regret as the Prince visibly stiffened at her cold tone, his eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion. "That will be all, Y/N."
"My Prince", with a deferential curtsy she strode past Prince Aemond. Y/N quickly grew ashamed of her suspicion in him and her subsequent rudeness as she saw him cast his head down and shift to let her pass.
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"I cannot sway her heart to me, Sister. Everytime I believe I have made progress, it is quickly followed by another mistake on my part which only seems to push her farther away from me." Aemond had sought his sister's advice, following his disastrous attempt at complimenting Y/N. He feared he had only made her uncomfortable given her cold reaction. He felt pained at the possibility it was him she found so objectionable, as opposed to an ill advised compliment.
Helaena looked thoughtful as she considered her brother's words. "What have you attempted so far to win her affections, brother?"
Aemond reccounted everything he had tried to do to make Y/N more comfortable around him. He'd hoped to build a friendship with her at first as a conduit for expressing his true romantic affections for her at a time when she would be more amenable to this.
He watched as Helaena pondered for an agonisingly long time on the correct response. But as a woman he expected she would be able to find a solution more ably than he could. "I think you should find a way to spend more time with her. You say it is normally only in the mornings and the evenings that you are together for a very brief time. Perhaps with more time spent in your company she will grow accustomed to your attentions and develop her own affections for you in turn." Aemond thought Helaena's suggestion wise and one he should have considered earlier. All this time he had been so concerned with ensuring he did not overstep any lines with Y/N, so very aware of her shy disposition, that he had not tried to orchestrate any more interactions than those she was already used to. But perhaps he needed to try a more direct approach to win his handmaiden over to him. He quickly developed a plan Helaena would have rejected out of hand had he voiced it.
For the second time that day, Y/N was frantically preparing tea in the kitchens, nestled in the lower levels of the Red Keep. Careless in her haste, she accidentally tipped some of the hot water she'd been pouring onto her hand. Letting out a string of curses, she quickly applied some cold water until she could no longer feel the sting so keenly, then hurried to set the already cooling tea on a tray, aware of the distance between the kitchens and the royal chambers where she needed to be. Prince Aemond had started to ask for tea to be brought to him twice a day about a week ago, having never expressed any inclination for it before. It did create some challenges for Y/N in trying to ensure the Prince's tea was delivered to him hot, all the while having to cross such a great distance in the Keep to do so.
And yet he always asked her to sit with him as he drank his tea, asking her various questions about herself, her childhood, her likes and dislikes. His line of questioning was often quite strange to Y/N, asking her what colours she liked best, whether she preferred the colder or warmer months, what flowers were her favourite. She had not thought any of these things about her should interest a Targaryen Prince. But she could not find it in herself to be irritated with his regular requests for tea, as she had come to look forward to these moments with Aemond. She did not know when she'd begun to think of him so informally, as Aemond rather than the Prince. It seemed to occur naturally over time as their tentative friendship grew and she spent more time in his presence. If Y/N was being completely honest with herself she'd even begun to harbour somewhat romantic feelings for the Prince. Blushing every time he met her gaze or their fingers grazed as she handed him his tea, she was sure he'd find her ridiculous if he should ever find out.
Rushing into his chambers, aware she'd taken much longer to deal with her burn, she began setting the tea before Aemond, stiffening as she heard him speak behind her.
"What is this?" His eyes had fallen on her injured hand and he spoke tensly...dangerously. "Did someone hurt you?"
Y/N quickly moved to dispell this theory as she noted how his hand clenched and jaw tightened. "No, My Prince. It is only a small burn. I was not careful enough when handling the tea this afternoon in my haste to make sure it arrived still warm." At her answer a look of pain seemed to cross the Prince's face as he stood, gently taking her hand in his to assess her injury. She realised she did not like to see him so distressed over her. "It is only a little thing. It will heal."
Gazing down at her, his own good eye boring into her own, a penitent look fell over his features. "I do not much like tea. You do not need to bring it to me any longer. I would not have you hurt yourself again on my account."
Y/N was confused for a mere moment before anger took its place. She had thought it strange when he'd begun to ask for tea so regularly, having never expressed an inclination for it before. And here she'd been running about the Keep several times a day, trying and even burning herself in the attempt to fulfill his request when the kitchens were so far from his chambers on the upper levels of the Keep. Only to find he did not even enjoy the tea. Why would he do such a thing? She roughly ripped her hand from his hold, stepping back from him even as he began to follow her. "Were you laughing at me? Was it a mere jest to watch me run about the Keep all day for no reason?" She did not know where she'd found her courage, or perhaps the audacity to address the Prince in such a manner.
He looked positively alarmed now at the fierceness of her glare, having never inspired it before.
"No, of course not."
"Then why?"
"I only wished to spend more time with you"
The unexpectedness of his answer halted Y/N where she stood, allowing Aemond to close the distance between them until they stood nearly chest to chest.
"With me. But why?"
Aemond moved slowly as if she could bolt at any second, perhaps giving her the chance to pull away from him again if she wished. Recapturing her hand in his, he raised it to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss on the palm of her hand where the burn was. Pulling away, he held her hand against his heart and Y/N couldn't fail to take his meaning even though he didn't say the words directly. He must have an affection for her, perhaps not so strong as that which she held for him, but still there. In this knowledge, she supposed his actions though misguided could be considered sweet. She found herself at a loss for words, her mind swimming with the possibilities of what this could mean, and the inherent dangers of having feelings for a Prince of the Seven Kingdoms as a lowly servant girl.
In the moment she felt unable to decide whether she wanted Aemond to reciprocate her feelings or not, and whether she was comfortable with his advances. He'd seemed to sense her indecision as he gazed down at her face. Releasing her hand and lowering it back to her side, he stepped back from her until he was leaning against a side table. He was always so respectful of her, attentively watching for any signs of her discomfort and responding in kind. She was torn, wanting to reach for him again but knowing within her heart that nothing good could come of their feelings for one another. Better to repress them now rather than let them continue to grow and inevitably lead to dissapointment when he married a courtly Lady or Dornish Princess.
"Good night Y/N."
Y/N's eyes snapped up to meet Aemond's, expecting to find irritation or perhaps disspointment with her confused state. She was startled to find only steely determination in his eyes. "Good Night, My Prince." Willing herself not to turn around and look at him, in case she did something truly reckless, she headed straight for the servant's quarters.
Aemond felt more sure of himself than he ever had that he could win Y/N's love. He felt certain she already harboured an affection for him, she was only indecisive on whether to act on it, perhaps unsure of his intentions. This was understandable and he would seek to remedy it, for he had seen how her eyes had softened as he'd kissed her hand, how she had subconsciously curled her hand around his tunic once he'd placed it against his heart, as if to pull him closer to her. But watching her inner turmoil play out in her expressions and in her silence, he resolved to be patient, stepping back from her to allow her space to think. He loved her and was now convinced she at least held some feelings for him, in the end it did not matter how long it took to convince her of the fact.
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@sapphiresandferrari
@pinkykats-place
@superintenseart
@callsigncrushx
@idonotknowenglish
@lportes-22
@misspinkonmars
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mobbu-min · 1 month ago
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☆ yummy in my tummy ☆
part two
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a/n i swear everytime im about to play love and deepspace, the app needs another update. my phone storage can't keep up T0T anyways, i'm not that far in but xavier is my fave. he lowkey reminds me of silver haha. rafayel is a close second tho
includes: all of octavinelle, scarabia + pomefiore
tw mentions of eating disorder
want more? check out part one!
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Octavinelle <3
⋆ Perhaps the last dorm that you want to know about your skills. But alas, your heart is vast, so even shady seamen deserves some delicious home cooked meals/treats!
⋆ How about making some extra cash? Is what Azul says after taking a bit. He does mean it. Not only would Monstro Lounge gain some more popularity after news of the Ramshackle Perfect’s home made meals/treats were being served, but he gets to spend time with you without giving his feelings away? A win-win if you asked him. As we all know, Azul does suffer from an eating disorder, as much as he tries to deny it, but somehow your cooking/baking doesn’t upset him at all. If anything, he gets so lost in the flavors that he doesn’t realize that his stomach is full and plate empty. Should he be concerned? Disgusted with himself? Lots of negative emotions begin to swell up, but when he glances at you, fully expecting the worst, he’s met with your proud smile. Happiness practically radiating off your being. And suddenly, Azul doesn’t mind the feeling of a full stomach as long as you look at him like that again.
⋆ Jade finds himself coming to you more often to ask for tips on how to cook mushrooms in different ways. Heck, he even encourages you to come out mushroom hunting with him. He’s fascinated by the way you work, seeing you mix different spices and ingredients together inspires him to do the same. He enjoys getting a glimpse at a third world, your world. It reminds him that the universe is truely a big, fascinating place. He is touched that your first thought was to bring him food, don’t worry he’ll repay the favor.
⋆ Your food is the only thing to get Floyd out of his moods! Once he smells the delicious scent of your meals/sweets, he instantly goes back to being silly and goofy! He will pester the living daylights out of you to make his favorite foods. You will know no peace! Floyd always makes his distaste clear. He’s an honest guy, what can he say? So it’s a big achievement that your food gets the Floyd pass. He will glare at anyone that dares to come near his food. This is his food, not theirs! Floyd’s a good cook himself, so like Jade, if he’s feeling particularly chummy, you might be gifted with his own unique concoction.
Scarabia <3
⋆ Scarabia is known to have the best food in the school! So it was a little jarring when you decided to give them some of your homemade food. But you really have nothing to worry about when it comes to these too.
⋆ You thought you were going to go blind with how bright Kalim's smile was. It truly could rival the sun. Because of the trust between you and Kalim, he devours it within seconds. Practically buzzing in excitement as the flavors touch his tongue. He’s not joking when he says that it’s as good as Jamil’s food. He wants to throw a party where you and Jamil have a cook off! But also just to show off your amazing cooking. You’re going to have to politely tell him that might be too much for you. Or that you only cook for special people! (subtle flirting hehe) And well Kalim is Kalim so it’s like a 50/50 chance that it won’t fly over his head. But in the case that it doesn’t, Kalim gets all warm and flustered. You know how some people get cuteness aggression and just want to squeeze said cuteness, well that’s Kalim. Instantly you're in his arms while he exclaims how much he loves you!
⋆ Jamil gave you the weirdest look, thinking that you wanted something from him. But alas! You did it out of the goodness of your heart. After getting over his initial suspicion, Jamil is incredibly thankful! I get a feeling that between everything that Jamil has to handle, he tends to eat very little most days. Just enough to get him to bedtime. So when you popped out of thin air with food, but not just any food his favorite, Jamil is touched. Though just because he’s touched, that doesn’t mean he won’t critique it! Internally of course, unless you ask. I would like to say that this would lead to cooking dates, but Jamil gives me the impression that he doesn’t like others in the kitchen while he works. Though he’s willing to try it out for you! Omg, if you make him food from the Scalding Sands, he just might tear up (lol, probably not but that’s a funny thought) but he will be incredibly touched!
Pomefiore <3
⋆ A tricky dorm to cook/bake for. A life or death situation! You must satisfy the Queen’s tastes or else you’ll face everlasting sleep! OoooOOoooooOOOoooo
⋆ Your greatest foe, the Queen herself! Does your food satisfy the Queen’s strict diet? ………partially. Listen, Vil holds himself to high regards and keeps a stern eye on his calories and where those calories come from. And while yes, you are going the right path, you also took some side quests on the way. In other words, you were like 74% to getting Vil’s approval. But fear not! For Vil is more than willing to take you under his wing! Though, Vil’s not a chef himself, so he’ll guide you in the ways of his diets. As long as you keep those in mind, Vil finds himself thoroughly enjoying anything you make him. He enjoys foods that are light on the stomach with plenty of nourishment. Vil will oftentimes find himself thinking about your food. His stomach growling in hunger. He appreciates it whenever you show up with homemade snacks. Vil will oftentimes submerge himself in his work, whether that be new roles, schoolwork or guiding his dorm mates, and forget to eat. So knowing that you're always thinking of him and coming to check up on him makes him feel all mushy and gooey inside. Goodness, the effects you have on him.
⋆ C’est délicieux! Anything and everything you give Rook is eaten with fervor. Truly enjoying and savoring every bite! For how could he let anything go to waste? You put your heart and soul into it, it would be wrong not to enjoy it with his own heart and soul. His appetite is never quenched when it comes to your food. He consumes your food with such earnestness that it's hard not to get all flustered. The compliments are never ending when it comes to him. Rook could (and has) write poetry off the delicious taste of your food. Sweet, yet a little off putting. Will jump at any occasion to speak about your food, and by extension you. Eveytime he sees you with a bag or box, Rook is skipping towards you with a little tune to each step.
⋆ Nothing could beat his Meemaw’s apple pie, but Epel supposes that yours come to a close second. Your food is the only thing Vil will turn a blind eye to, which Epel takes as an opportunity to slyly (not really) suggest new recipes for you to try. Honestly, Epel really likes your food! He gets all flustered whenever you pop with food for him. At first he was a little insulted that you made him food, thinking you were insulting his masculinity or something by babying him. But after your very honest words (and a reprimanding from Vil and Leona for making you sad), Epel understands that it was just you trying to show him that you cared for him. I can see Epel going to Jack and asking ‘Is someone giving you food manly?’ and Jack, who happened to overhear Leona telling Ruggie, casually responds with, ‘My mom always makes my dad food, so yeah…” And Epel’s all like, ‘Well damn, if Jack looks like that then his dad must be super macho.’ or something like that. Needless to say, Epel has never hit someone so hard before over food. (rip grim and ace)
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normspellsman · 2 years ago
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I Trusted You
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part one | part two
pairing: neteyam x fem!omatikaya!reader
genre: angstish, arguing (lo’ak & neteyam), fluffish, siblings fighting, & comfort
word count: 2.3k+
warning(s): lo’ak + neteyam arguing, neteyam being absolutely livid, cursing, jake having to break up neteyam + lo’ak, mentions of injury + death + blood, lo’ak + neteyam physically fighting, nete blaming lo’ak for you getting hurt, mentions of nearly crying, slight foreshadowing to the events of atwow, & kissing
taglist: @dearstell @aonungsmate @lvlyynim @optimisticblazetrash @thatonegirlwiththebeanie367 @universal-s1ut @minkyungseokie @arianapjs @wwwellacom @goodiesinthecloset21 @liyahsocorro @amortencjja @chshshhshshshshshshs
word bank: skxawng — idiot; moron, irayo — thanks; thank you, tsmuke — sister, yawntutsyip — darling; little one, tiyawn — love, & nga yawne lu oer — i love you
note: literally spent all day thinking about this fic & just had to write it, hope you enjoy! <3 also, tysm for 1k+ notes on the first part. like that’s totally insane. i love you all mwahhh 💋💋
Neteyam was pissed. Very, very pissed.
He gave his brother one job and he couldn’t even succeed in executing it. Lo’ak was apparently too fucking incompentent to do the one thing he asked of him. Stupid fucking skxawng, he thought to himself, shaking his head in disappointment.
Anxiety riddled Neteyam’s body as he stood outside of the Tsahìk’s tent waiting for his Grandmother to finish patching you up. All he wanted was to have you in his arms and hold you but his Grandmother deemed his clinginess a distraction and promptly kicked him out of the tent so she could work and properly focus without him practically breathing down her neck. He began to pace up and down the side of the tent in anxiety, chewing at his fingernails.
Neteyam knew that putting all the blame on his younger brother wasn’t something he should be doing, but he found himself doing it anyway.
Nothing good ever comes out of Lo’ak’s plans or adventures. Someone within his group always ends up hurt which results in Neteyam having to save his ass more times than he could remember to count. He didn’t mind it much then, you weren’t really in the picture then nor did you ever accompany Lo’ak on his explorations. But once you wiggled your way into the eldest Sully’s life and ultimately stole his heart in the process, you frequented Lo’ak’s trips more and more. If Na’vi could develop grey hairs, Neteyam would have a head full of them. Poor boys heart stopped every time he learned that you joined Lo’ak and company to wherever. He was always stressed about your safety.
“Is she okay?” A voice asked, concern laced within their tone.
Neteyam’s tail swished in agitation at the voice. Lo’ak, he internally seethed.
“No, she’s not. No thanks to you,” he growled out, pacing ceasing.
Lo’ak knew he fucked up. He knew he shouldn’t have let Tuktirey convince you to join them on their excursion. He knew he should’ve done more to protect you from the threats of Quaritch and his knife.
“I didn’t know this was going to happen, Neteyam,” Lo’ak replied, ears pinned back as he watched his brother shoot a deadly glare at him, “I didn’t even ask her to go in the first place. Tuk did.”.
Neteyam scoffed at his brother's answer. How dare he blame Tuk for this. He was the elder brother in the moment, he should’ve acted like it.
“Don’t bring Tuk into this. You know damn well that (Y/N) can’t say no to her. You should’ve stopped her from going either way,” he retorted, finger digging into Lo’ak’s chest as he repeatedly poked it into his skin as he spoke. “You knew the promise you made to me and yet you failed to protect her,” he added.
“You don’t think I know that?” Lo’ak hissed out, pushing Neteyam’s finger away from his chest, “You don’t think I’m beating myself up for it? That I don’t feel bad? I feel awful.”.
“I know that I’m the fucked up failure of the family but that doesn’t mean you can blame me for everything,” he added, tail copying his brothers previous movements in anger, “(Y/N) has a free will of her own and decided to come on her own terms. None of us knew what was going to happen tonight. It is Quaritch and his soldiers fault for what they did. They caused it and we just so happened to be in the crossfire.”.
Neteyam shook his head angrily at Lo’ak, braids harshly swaying at the movement. Everything seemed to have gotten hotter. All Neteyam could feel was hot anger. He was so angry that he saw only red.
“She wouldn’t have gotten hurt if you weren’t at the abandoned shack, Lo’ak. You were there and they took advantage of that, holding all of you hostage for just being there,” he argued back.
Neteyam knew that Quaritch was to blame for all of this but if Lo’ak wasn’t there in the first place, none of this would’ve occurred tonight. He led everyone to the one place they weren’t supposed to go. A place their Father had established was off limits. Lo’ak never thought about others whenever he went to chase a thrill, always paying for the consequences after the fact.
“You don’t think, Lo’ak. You never do! You don’t think of the consequences of your actions,” Neteyam added, hands lifting up by his sides as he gestured towards the boy in front of him.
A part of his statement was true. Lo’ak tended to act before he was able to think. But even then, he felt as if it wasn’t fair for all the blame to be put onto his shoulders. Lo’ak did reckless shit all the time and his actions rarely severely impacted others the way it did tonight. Tonight was out of his control. The ball was no longer in his hands when a soldier took a hold of Tuk, the ball being snatched out from his fingers and into the grips of Quaritch.
A hiss crawled its way out of Lo’ak’s throat, pushing back his brother with enough force to send him stumbling back. He was tired of Neteyam harassing him for something he had no control over.
The elder hissed back, lunging at his brother and tackling him to the ground. Punches and slaps were thrown as the two brothers rolled on the ground. Insults were shouted out into the air at each other causing heads to turn and peak out in curiosity.
“Enough!” A loud voice boomed, grabbing the shoulders of Neteyam and yanking him off of Lo’ak, pushing him backwards and further from his brother. “Get your crap together you two! There is no means for you to fight!” Jake shouted, pulling his other son to his feet.
Both boys' ears were pinned back against their heads and tails fell limp between their legs. Anger had overtaken both of their senses and caused their minds to become overwhelmed with the emotion, taking it out on each other.
“Both of you go to your respective tents, now!” Jake shouted once again, not leaving room for objections.
Neteyam didn’t want to leave you alone in his Grandmother's tent. He wanted to hold you as Mo’at patched you up and slowly began to heal the wounds on your thigh. But he knew that after the fight he just caused, he needed time to cool down and collect his thoughts. Plus, you most likely heard the entire argument and didn’t want to see him after he spat such harsh words towards Lo’ak, who only tried his best to protect you and his loved ones.
Both brothers walked to their tents in silence, heads bowed in shame as others looked at them as they walked by.
Nothing good came out of this night and all Neteyam wanted to do was have you in his arms as he covered every inch of you in gentle kisses to ease his mind.
———
Kiri had assisted you towards your shared tent with Neteyam. She allowed you to put all your weight on her as she wrapped your arm around her shoulder and walked you to your home. The poor girl was still shaken over what happened hours prior, still trying to process your stabbing and the kidnapping of Spider. She most definitely was going to cry herself to sleep tonight, that’s if she managed to fall asleep.
“You sure you’re alright?” Kiri softly asked, settling the both of you in front of the opening of your home. She removed your arm from her shoulder and held you steady by placing her hands on either side of your arms.
You nodded in response, smiling at her as you did so.
“Irayo, tsmuke,” you replied, placing one of your hands on her forearms, a look of understanding etched onto your face as you two stood there in slight silence.
“Goodnight, (Y/N),” she responded back, placing her forehead on yours before pulling back and making the trek back to her family’s tent.
You slowly and gently shifted towards the covering of the opening of your tent, pulling it back as you made your way inside as slowly as you could so as not to cause anymore pain or aches to settle itself in your fresh wounds.
Neteyam and you had gotten your own tent after the official announcement of your relationship to the clan a few months back. Your parents weren’t too keen on the idea but eventually gave in once the frequent attacks of the sky people occurred, wanting the two of you to spend as much time together in case either of you were to fall victim to the bullets of the humans.
It was nice having your own place. It gave the both of you a lot more freedom as mates as well as allow you to explore your creative side when it came to decorating your home.
“Yawntutsyip?” Neteyam called out, upper half peeking out from behind one of the other rooms your tent held.
The teen's eyes lightened up upon settling on your figure, fully coming out from behind the wall and making his way towards you, bringing you into his embrace gently so as to not hurt you. He nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, deeply inhaling your scent to calm down his anxiety.
“Are you okay? Was Grandmother gentle? Did she patch you up all right?” He hurriedly asked, eyes trailing to your bandaged thigh, refraining himself from reaching out and touching it.
You softly giggled at his frantic voice, softly kissing his lips to silence him. “I am alright, Teyam,” you responded, brushing your nose up against your lovers as he relaxed in your hold.
Neteyam sighed in slight relief, nuzzling his face into the side of your cheek and then back down to your neck. He pulled you tighter into his arms as he lowly and gently purred at the fact that you were now in his embrace in one piece.
“Mo’at said to take it easy for the next couple of days,” you added, pecking your mates cheek as you gently coaxed him out from your neck.
He only hummed in acknowledgment, gazing into your eyes as he brought one hand up to your jaw, caressing it with the side of his thumb. He’ll make sure that you barely move a finger your entire healing journey, him being the one to wait on hand and foot for you. You’ll be taken care of whenever he’s around.
“I heard what you and Lo’ak were talking about earlier,” you mumbled out, eyes darting to the side briefly before returning to Neteyam’s slightly larger orbs.
He only closed his eyes as a reply to your statement, guilt eating away at his conscience. He felt terrible for fighting with his brother in front of the tent you were in and that you had to hear everything. He didn’t want you to hear the colorful words he spat at Lo’ak in his moment of anger. He didn’t want you to see or hear him like that.
“I don’t blame him, Nete. He tried his best to protect me from…Quaritch,” you continued, rubbing your hands on his shoulders in comfort, “Yes, perhaps he should’ve stopped me from going but I chose to go in the end. None of us knew what was going to happen. There was nothing we could’ve done, that Lo’ak could’ve done in the moment.”.
Neteyam knew that your words were true. Lo’ak was only still a child and was put into a life or death situation. Held hostage by someone who wouldn’t hesitate to kill them if they made the wrong move. He couldn’t imagine the type of stress his brother, especially you, went through. It was something that most likely would affect all of you for days to come.
“I know, I know, my love. It’s just,” he begins, throat constricting as he tried not to cry in front of you, “I was so scared to lose you. My anger got the best of me and the only one I could blame was Lo’ak in the moment. It doesn’t excuse the things I said and did, but I was so overtaken by you nearly dying that all common thinking flew out the window.”.
“I only want to protect you, tiyawn,” he finished, placing a gentle kiss onto your forehead before placing his own against yours.
You understood where Neteyam was coming from. Hell, you’d probably do the same if you were in his shoes. Anger was something that many didn’t have complete control over, succumbing to its power in the end. Neteyam had been a victim of its power this night and deeply regretted it with all his heart. He caused more pain to his brother. More pain than he had gone through within the last few hours.
He knew Lo’ak deeply cared for you. That he was merely just checking in to see if you were okay. But Neteyam had snapped at him and released all his frustrations and anxiety onto him as a result.
“I know, ma Neteyamur,” you replied, gently smiling at him.
You knew that whatever Neteyam did was only ever out of love and that was one of the main things that made you fall for him in the first place. He deeply cared for those he loved and would do anything for them. You just hoped that it wouldn’t be the cause of his downfall.
“Nga yawne lu oer,” Neteyam softly whispered against your lips, not giving you time to repeat the sentiment back as he smashed his lips into yours.
He’d do anything for you. He was yours and you were his. He’d fight fiercely for the connection and love you two shared. It was neither of your time yet. He’d make sure of it.
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zaldritzosrose · 3 months ago
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Viridity (Sihtric x Alfred's Daughter!Reader)
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Summary: There was a fine line between innocence and naivety, and you seemed to dance that line so perfectly. Your life as King Alfred’s youngest daughter had sheltered you somewhat, though never to your detriment. You knew things but had never experienced them. Until a certain Dane entered Winchester. Sihtric, loyal to Uhtred and the object of every ounce of desire and affection you were capable of. He was just as entranced, drawn in by a sweetness he felt so tempted to taste.
CW: MINORS DNI, afab reader, she/her pronouns, Sihtric being a gentleman, reader is sheltered, innocent reader, loss of virginity, p in v sex, fingering, oral (f receiving), Sihtric being a consent king.
Thank you anon (@sxphia-g) for this lovely request, apologies for the delay!
Words: 5575
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The Witans were always quite a dull affair, in your opinion, but it was a privilege to attend. Something you and your sister were reminded of more often than not. Though you usually paid little attention to whatever the lords around you spoke of, more because you rarely understood all the intricate details, you did enjoy the opportunity to meet people outside of your family.
It wasn’t that your father wanted you unaware, but he was more protective of you than Aethelflaed. Maybe it was because you were younger, maybe it was because he had learned from mistakes through Aethelflaed that he did not want to repeat with you.
While for the most part, it kept you safe, it also kept you sheltered. Innocent in things you should likely know at this age. It was expected, as a royal daughter, that you would be guarded at all times. But there were things you wished to experience. Be it a walk through the city, or a night at a tavern. Things other people got to experience, but you had resigned yourself to knowing you never would.
Until a certain brown-haired Dane returned to Winchester.
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The battle had been arduous, and it was not long before the group was called back to Winchester. Word had come to Uhtred in the aftermath, concerning an up-and-coming Dane warlord and before the Lord could even move to handle it, word had travelled even further to Winchester. They had barely cleaned the dirt and blood from their skin before they were making the journey back to the King.
“Would it not be easier for us to remain and handle the threat immediately?” Sihtric asked, poking the flames of their campfire with a stick.
He was tired. They were all tired. Sihtric could still feel the blood drying on his clothing. Uhtred simply shrugged, an order from Alfred was not something he could just ignore. He had bound himself to the Saxon king, and by extension bound his men.
“You know I cannot deny Alfred, Sihtric,” Uhtred said, sounding just as resigned as Sihtric had.
Whether they liked it or not, they were returning to Winchester.
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Word had come that morning, Lord Uhtred had been seen riding towards Winchester, fresh from battle. Rooms at a nearby inn had already been set aside for the arriving warriors and your father was almost buzzing with energy at the prospective arrivals.
“Have you ever met him before, Lord Uhtred I mean?” you asked your sister, and Aethelflaed gave you a look.
“I have, a few times when father would allow it.” Aethelflaed replied with a smile.
She understood your excitement, it wasn’t often you were around to meet your father’s visitors. Your sister could practically feel the excitement roll off you. But she knew you well enough that it wasn’t Lord Uhtred you were excited to meet. Tales of his men reached Winchester as often as tales of Uhtred did. Of the young monk, the Irishman, and the Dane.
Aethelflaed knew that look, whenever Sihtric was mentioned. Despite you never having met him in person, you already seemed to have taken a shine to him.
“It is not Uhtred you are interested in though, is it?” Aethelflaed smiled, gently nudging your arm.
You sputtered out some protests, but your words were cut short when your father entered with your mother at his heel.
“Uhtred and his men will arrive shortly; I have asked for a meal to be prepared for him and his men. You are both to attend.” Alfred said softly, but sternly, both of you moving quickly to prepare yourselves to receive visitors.
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A table had been set; your mother had made you knew exactly how to present yourself. Aelswith had particular feelings towards Uhtred, you knew that for certain. But she was still a Queen, and you still a princess. You had to present yourself with politeness and piety.
You sat between Aethelflaed and Edward as Uhtred and his men entered the hall, weapons already discarded it seemed. Alfred stood, greeting them and gesturing for them to sit.
Your eyes fell immediately to Sihtric as he sat across from you. The tattoo that ran from the side of his shaven head to his neck was the first thing to catch your eye as turned to speak to Uhtred.
Your sole focus was on the tattoo, so fascinated that you hadn’t even realised he was looking at you. What you weren’t prepared for was the way your stomach flipped when he smiled at you.
“Do you wish to know what it is, Lady?” he asked, gesturing to the very tattoo you had stared at.
Despite the sideways glance from your mother, you nodded. Sihtric was quick to flash you another smile, watching the small flush rise on your cheeks. He turned his head, running a finger from one end of the tattoo to the other.
“It might not look much like it, but it is the serpent Jörmungandr,” Sihtric explained, glancing at you as he spoke.
Your eyes following his finger, wide with intrigue. When he reached his neck, he could have sworn he saw your tongue lick at your lips ever so slightly.
“It is beautiful,” you whispered, just loud enough for Sihtric to hear over the chatter around the table.
Sihtric was about to speak, tell you it had nothing on your beauty, but he was interrupted when Uhtred asked him to pass over a plate of food. The Dane silently seethed, but the look Uhtred had given him was enough to make him remain silent.
The King’s daughter was off limits.
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Uhtred and his men soon bid the King and his family goodnight. Despite himself, Sihtric’s eyes lingered on you. There was a gentleness, an innocence in you, that seemed to be pulling him in. Enticing him.
“Goodnight, Lady,” he smiled, taking your hand when your parents weren’t looking and pressing a gently kiss to the back of it.
You could have sworn you felt sparks run up your skin at the touch. The skin where he had kissed felt warm and your stomach felt fluttery. You didn’t understand it much, but it wasn’t a horrible feeling. You found yourself wanting to feel it again.
Sihtric was gone before you respond, your hand hanging a little in the air as you watched him, and his friends leave.
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It was a few more days before Sihtric saw you again. A Witan had been called to discuss the matter of the new Dane threat and Uhtred had been summoned to attend. Sihtric and the others had been told to wait outside and his only thoughts were of you.
Did you attend the Witans with your father or were you ordered elsewhere like he was. Sihtric sat with his friends in the royal gardens, eyes trained on the large wooden doors as they awaited Uhtred’s return.
So, when they opened, the last person he expected to see exiting was you.
The three of them quickly stood as you reached them, earning a soft smile each.
“You do not need to do that, please.” You said sweetly, waving them back down to sit.
“Did you attend the Witan, my lady?” Sihtric asked, curiosity eating at him.
You sat down on a small stone bench, smoothing out the skirts of your dress.
“I did, it is one of the few things my father lets me do,” you voice was a little melancholy, as though the thought upset you.
Of all the things Alfred allowed you to do, attending Witans was a surprise even to you. Hearing of bloody battles, death, politics and deception was surely no worse than allowing you to spend more time in the city?
But he was your father and the King, you could hardly argue with him.
“One of few? What does your father not allow you to do?” Sihtric asked, his sole focus now on you.
The sigh you let out almost broke his heart, like the weight of the world was on your shoulders.
“I barely leave the palace walls. I can attend Witans, suppers and prayer but nothing more. I go to the city only if Edward of my father does…” You tried not to sound to self-centred in your words, there were far worse things happening to others, you wagered.
But seeing the same stone walls, the same people, all day everyday was nothing short of frustrating. All you wanted was one trip, one time past the walls of your home. To speak to new people, see new things.
Sihtric could hear the frustration, the sadness almost in your voice and he couldn’t help himself as he reached out to gently take your hand.
“I am sure your father is only concerned for your safety, Lady.” He said, giving your smaller hand a soft squeeze.
“But he allows Aethelflaed to do as she pleases, I do not understand it,” You sounded like a petulant child, you knew that, but it was the first time you had been able to vent your frustrations to someone who didn’t know much of them.
Sihtric felt for you. To never know anything further than your home, it was something he could sympathise with. As a child, Kjartan only let him out of their home when he was of use to him. He was never afforded the chance to simply explore and experience.
“If I knew the reasons of a man like Alfred, I would be a smarter man myself.” Sihtric replied, trying to lighten the mood.
And when you smiled, albeit reluctantly, he took that as a win.
“If I could just convince my father, to just once let me leave – with a chaperone if I must…”
But your words were cut off when the doors opened again, Uhtred exiting shortly followed by your father and brother.
Sihtric was quick to stand, both in respect to the King and to avoid being seen too close to you. He wasn’t about to risk things so quickly.
Alfred made his way to you, his hand on your arm soft but firm – a touch only a father seemed to have.
“My sweet girl, will you ask the kitchens to prepare a meal for Uhtred and his men tonight. They are to join us for supper.”
You nodded softly, glancing at each of them before leaving. You could feel Sihtric’s eyes on you, even without looking, and a heat rose on your skin. Sihtric’s mind however was elsewhere. Still concerning you, but of how he could help you. Maybe, just maybe, he could be the one to set you free.
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Supper came and went, but you all remained around the table long after the plates had been cleared. Again, you had sat across from Sihtric, purposefully this time. There was something about him that put you at ease. From his soft, yet mischievous smile, to those bi-coloured eyes. So much about him was beautiful. You had never considered calling a man beautiful over handsome. But Sihtric truly was beautiful.
Every time he would look at you, your cheeks flushed, your stomach felt like it was filled with butterflies. You could barely contain the smile that would tug at your lips whenever he spoke to you.
When Uhtred and his men left, Aethelflaed pulled you to one side. Before you could even ask what was wrong, she began to whisper to you.
“I know you find him…Sihtric…pleasing, little sister, but be careful,” Aethelflaed whispered softly, her hand grabbing on to yours.
“Careful, I don’t understand?”
Aethelflaed sighed. That was exactly the problem.
“That’s the problem, you don’t understand it. You are so sweet, so innocent, sister.”
You squeezed Aethelflaed’s hand, an idea forming in your mind.
“Then explain it to me? If you are so concerned for me, make it so you are not.”
Aethelflaed shook her head, not saying she would not tell you, but it was more in exasperation. Of course that was what you would ask. She saw how you looked at Sihtric, she’d seen that look many times and had probably looked at men the same way herself.
She held both your hands now, a little tighter than before.
“You desire him, sister, the blush on your cheeks, the flutter in your stomach, that is all attraction and desire.”
You stammered a little in surprise. Desire? Was that what you felt? The way she was describing it…Sihtric was attractive, there was no doubt to it.
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Sihtric laid in his bed at the inn, trying to figure out how he could help you. You were so sweet, so beautiful. And he so badly wanted to free you, to help you experience with everything you could.
But first, he had to get you on your own. Even for a moment, just to speak to you without interruption.
Sleep found him eventually, his last though being you.
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That morning, you sat with Aethelflaed, watching your father talk to Uhtred and his men. You tried not to only look at Sihtric, but it was truly a challenge. Something about him simply drew you in.
And soon his eyes found you, stood at the wall by the entrance to the palace. The smile you gave him back, it made his heart stop for just a second. He couldn’t remember ever feeling this way about a woman. Lust, desire, they were one thing.
You made him feel something else entirely. He craved the very thought of you, and he barely knew you. But he wanted to.
Whatever it took, he would make you his. All he needed was fate to be on his side.
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The chapel was quiet as you prayed. It was one of few times you were granted true solitude. So, to hear the door open and footsteps behind you, surprised you. It seemed fate was on Sihtric’s side.
“Apologies for disturbing you, my lady.” Sihtric said softly, walking slowly up behind you.
You stood, setting down your prayer book down and turning to face the Dane.
“You are disturbing me, Sihtric.”
Sihtric had never thought his name had sounded sweeter than on your lips. You stood in front of him, and for the first time he had no idea what to say. His tongue felt heavy, and his mouth felt dry. He simply stared at you.
“Not often you see a Dane in a chapel,” you smiled, trying to break the tension.
You were in your comfort space; you were relaxed in here. And Sihtric’s silence gave you the chance to simply admire him. Up close, you could see the dual tones of his eyes. The air felt thicker around you the longer you stared.
“Is this one of the things you are allowed to do alone?” he asked, flashing you the smile you had grown to adore.
You nodded, chastising yourself for the flush in your cheeks.
“It is, there are few places safer than a chapel in my father’s eyes.”
Sihtric reached out softly, taking your hand as softly as he had the day you met him. He had so many things he wanted to say, but he had no idea where to start.
“But you want to do more, don’t you?” Sihtric asked, stroking a gentle circle on your palm with his thumb.
You nodded, the roughness of his skin distracting you from any coherent thought. Was Sihtric offering to help you?
“Leave the palace, see things, people?”
It was like your voice had left the second he touched your hand. To be so close to a man was already more than you ever experienced. But you needed to answer him.
“I have always wanted that, there is only so much of the same people I can take.”
Sihtric brought your hand to his lips. Now wasn’t to be the time to get you out of here. But to know you wanted it as much as he wanted to give it you. It gave him hope.
As his lips lingered on your skin, his eyes met yours.
“I will give you that, and more, my beautiful lady. I swear it to you.”
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You didn’t see Sihtric again for a few days, word was he had followed Uhtred out of Winchester to collect information for Alfred about the new Dane lord. But his return was signalled when a servant brought a small bouquet of flowers to your rooms with a note attached to them. There was only one person you could possibly think would send such a gift.
My beautiful lady,
Though we have known each other only a short time, I have thought of nothing but you. I return to Winchester tonight and I would like to ask you something.
I want to be the one to help you experience life beyond the palace walls, as I promised. Alfred is to meet Uhtred at supper tonight, so he will be well occupied. Come to the small gardens near the chapel, and I will give you a taste of all the freedom you wish.
Sihtric
You immediately felt those butterflies return to your stomach, setting down the note as you brought the flowers up to your nose. The aroma was so sweet, like nothing you had smelled before. If you had to hazard a guess, you would have said they were some kind of wildflowers.
All you could think of now was his promise. A taste of all the freedom you wish. That had the opportunity for so many things. Your mind buzzed with everything it could mean, skin flushing when your thoughts delved down a more carnal path – though you knew next to nothing about that kind of thing. Physical pleasures were not a general topic of conversation in your family.
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The ride back to Winchester wasn’t long, but for Sihtric now it felt like an eternity. They were not far from the city; the supposed new Dane warlord had been sighted barely a day’s ride from the city. But they had camped for three days in the hopes of seeing him, to no avail.
Now, he had never been more desperate to see the gates of the Saxon capital again. To see you. He hoped you got his note, that the flowers he had picked and sent a young Saxon boy back with – along with some coin in his palm – were beautiful enough for you.
Soon, the walls on Winchester were in sight. Uhtred headed immediately for the palace, Finan dragging Osferth to a nearby inn. None of them really noticed Sihtric disappearing, they all had their own ways of relaxing when they would return.
He waited in the gardens, the sky soon turning to night. He only hoped you would choose to meet him.
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You had told only Aethelflaed where you were going, knowing your sister would help you however she could. The elder princess saw how you looked at Sihtric, there was no denying there was something between the two of you. She had been in your shoes once, and she wasn’t about to deny you the same feelings and experiences.
Aethelflaed made sure your mother was well distracted, asking her to join her in a room farthest from the chapel to pray and read. Edward was sat in on the supper with Alfred and Uhtred. You had a safe and quiet path down to where you would meet Sihtric.
Your heart hammered as you neared the gardens, you were sure it could beat out from your chest. Nervous fingers twirled your hair between your hands as you rounded the corner, breathing a sigh of relief when you saw the silhouette of Sihtric by a large tree.
“You came,” he said softly, as if half expecting you not to.
His hand reached out for you, a single flower between his fingers. The petals were a soft pink, and you took it with a matching blush on your cheeks.
“Of course I did,” you answered, inhaling the scent of the petals with a smile.
You noticed that, for the first time since you had met him, he was without his usual leather and furs. Just his dark undershirt and trousers, hammer pendant sitting bright against the fabric.
“Your note was lovely, and the flowers were beautiful,” you continued, letting the petals of the flower brush against your cheeks.
Sihtric watched you with a smile, the moonlight making you even more beautiful. Ethereal almost. A true princess, he thought. But hearing your words about his note made him glance down, embarrassed.
“I am ashamed to say the words were mine, but the writing was not, my lady,” he said sheepishly, earning him a sweet giggle in response.
“Then who wrote them, I should compliment their handwriting instead.”
The teasing tone in your voice made his heartbeat just a little faster. Everything about you was most unlike any woman he had ever met. And the words fell from his lips before he could stop them.
“I had Osferth put my words to parchment, though I promise you the words are truly mine.”
You hand reached out, daring to settle on his chest. You were sure you could feel the rhythm of his heart under the firm muscle. All for you, you realised.
“The words are what were beautiful, though I shall remember to praise my half-brother for his penmanship.”
Sihtric chuckled, both at the nonchalant way you named Osferth your brother – the first of the royal family he had heard do so – but also how easily the compliments of his words left your lips. Even in the short time he had known you, he knew enough to know you did not lie.
His hand came to rest atop yours on his chest, almost engulfing it.
“Do you wish for freedom, my sweet lady?” he asked, his other hand coming to tilt your chin to have you look at him.
Your breath caught in your throat the second you looked into his eyes. The blue and the brown even more beautiful in the dim light. All you could manage to do, was nod.
Sihtric leaned down, the closest he had ever been to you. Lips brushing the shell of your ear as he spoke.
“There are many things I could show you, my lady, but there is one thing I think you and I both would like to start with.”
Your mind went blank the second his lips found yours. Soft yet dominating, his hand pressing yours to his chest as the other moved from your chin to your jaw. His lips pressed a little firmer now, pulling a soft whimper of pleasure from you.
When Sihtric pulled away, you chased his lips. Craving him now.
“Come with me, I want to make good on that promise.”
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All your life you had lived within these walls, and you had never known such secrets existed. Small, hidden passages within the walls, covered by overgrown shrubbery. Sihtric explained how he had asked around the palace after he had met you in the chapel. Looking for anyway to give you what you so desperately wanted.
More coin pressed to the palm of a nearby innkeeper had secured a room, secluded from prying eyes. Ideal for sneaking a sheltered princess into.
“You are risking a lot for me, Sihtric…” you whispered as he closed the door behind you.
This was the furthest you had been from the palace without your father, brother or guards at your side. And even then, you were allowed to very specific places. A nearby nunnery for example. Places deemed ‘safe’ by your father.
To be even in just an inn was exhilarating.
“You are more than worth the risk, my lady,” he smiled, sitting down at the foot of the bed.
He could almost feel your nerves. The way your hands fiddled with the sleeves of your dress, your tongue darting out to constantly wet your lips. Every fibre of him wanted to put your at ease.
Sihtric stood, reaching out to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear.
“And we will do nothing more than what you wish. Your comfort and happiness is my priority.”
His hand lingered on your cheek, and you felt that heat rise in your stomach again. Your mind returning to Aethelflaed’s words about desire.
“Anything with you is my happiness,” your face nuzzled into his hand as he spoke, seeking out more of his touch.
“I understand so little of things like this, of romance, desire…”
Sihtric could only smile at your words. Everything about you screamed innocence, yet he could see the twinkle of desire behind your eyes. You wanted something, but you had no idea how to express it.
So Sihtric gave you the words.
“I could teach you, sweet lady, if you would tell me what you wish to understand.”
Teach you? Did he truly mean it? Words seemed to fail you, but you wanted it more than anything, the fire in your stomach trailing down to your core.
“And if I wish to understand it all? Would you teach me everything?”
Sihtric had to bite back a groan at that. The innocence of your voice combined with the sultry connotation to your words. But he realised he would, in fact, give you everything he could and then some.
His own desire flowed through his veins, his length already throbbing against the fabric of his breeches. His precious princess. There was a part of him that wished to protect that innocence, the purity. Sihtric found it endearing. But the way you looked at him now, eyes darkened with desire and lust.
That was enough to convince him.
His lips found yours again, a little more force behind them this time. Your hands grasped at his shirt, holding him close to you. Barely an inch between your bodies now. Your nervousness was overrun by your need for him. Your skin felt like it was on fire, and you could feel a dampness in your smallclothes.
Sihtric walked back, sitting down on the bed and pulling you gently into his lap. You could feel him beneath you, hot and hard beneath the fabric of his breeches. And he could feel the little moment of confusion before you pressed yourself down against him.
“What you can feel, sweet lady, is my desire for you. A need that only you may sate…”
Sihtric pushed his hips up into you, relishing the whimper you let out. You responded by pressing your lips to his, his hands coming to rest on your waist as he helped you move your hips over his hardened length.
Your skirts were bunched around your hips, the only barriers between you both now being your smallclothes and his breeches. Sihtric’s lips were hungry, moving from your own and down your jaw. A heated path that made your hands grasp at him harder the lower he trailed them.
“Show me…”
That sweet voice of yours, now laden with desire had his cock throbbing. The damp heat of your arousal pressing against him was almost too much to bear. Sihtric’s fingers trailed down your thigh, leaving goosebumps in their wake before they reached their destination.
His fingers circled your pearl, the fabric of your underwear adding a delicious amount of friction. Your hips chased his hand, his lips finding the juncture of your neck and shoulder. But his touch was gone too soon.
Sihtric smiled at you, helping you stand before turning to lay you back down on the bed. You could only stare as he reached back to remove his shirt. If you had thought him beautiful before, there were no words to describe how you felt about him now. Your hands instinctively reached out to him, and he was quick to comply.
Practiced hands tugged the laces of your dress open, his eyes trained on yours for any signs of hesitation. But when he found none, Sihtric was quick to tug your dress from your shoulders, urging you up to remove it completely.
His fingers made their path down between your thighs again, finding your pearl as his lips found the skin of your stomach and hips.
His name was the only word on your lips, a soft chant akin to a prayer.
But his name became a cry of pleasure as his tongue joined his fingers. Your hands came up to tangle in his dark locks as he began a slow, intoxicating rhythm between your folds.
“Sihtric…”
The sound had him groaning gently, the vibration sending a shiver up your spine and a rush of heat through your core. A gush of arousal coating his tongue as your walls began to pulse and clench.
He sped up a little, throwing your legs over his shoulders as he helped you fall closer and closer to release. Sihtric felt your thighs quivering either side of his head, and he knew it wouldn’t be long until you found your peak.
His attention turned to your pearl, circling it with the tip of tongue as he pressed a single digit between your soaked folds. Your hands were tight in his hair, your back arching from the bed. You didn’t understand the feeling that tugged at your insides. Like a band pulled tight and ready to snap.
Sihtric pulled his mouth back, letting his fingers work you to your release now.
“Does it feel good, my sweet lady?” Sihtric asked, pressing soft kisses to your stomach.
His answer was a keening cry of his name as you released around his fingers, hands now clawing at the sheets below as your peak washed over you. Sihtric slowed his rhythm as your inner muscles began to relax.
He crawled up your body, leaning over you and pressing a kiss to your forehead. He could feel your body relax and your breathing slow.
“Good…it was more than good…”
Sihtric smiled against you, pressing kisses down your nose until he reached your lips. You had never felt pleasure like it before. You had never felt pleasure before, ever.
“Do you wish to feel more?”
He knew there was serious risk in bedding you, the King’s daughter. But he wasn’t pursuing you out of pure lust and selfish desire. He adored you. Sihtric had realised it the moment he left Winchester for those few days.
He had missed your presence, as infrequent as it was. He had missed your smile, your voice, your laugh. The feel of your skin when he kissed your hand. He had missed every single thing about you. If that wasn’t love, he didn’t know what was.
“More? Sihtric, I wish for all of you.”
That was all he needed; his lips pressed hard against yours before he sat back to remove the last piece of his clothes. You could feel the hard length of him against your body as he leaned back of you, and a bout of nervousness washed over you.
“I will go slow, my love,” he whispered, knowing the pain you would feel before the pleasure.
You only nodded, watching as he settled himself between your thighs and lined his cock up at your entrance. Sihtric leaned forward, capturing your lips as he pressed himself forward, feeling the stretch and resistance of your walls as your body tried to accommodate him.
He could feel you tense beneath him, hands grasping at his shoulders as your eyes squeezed shut.
“I’m sorry, my sweet lady, it won’t hurt for long…”
Sihtric was ready to stop, panic setting in when your face remained contorted in pain. But you simply nodded, urging him to keep going.
“It’s alright, I want it...please...” your voice was strained, but you needed to feel him, all of him.
Sihtric pressed on, slowly but surely sheathing himself entirely inside you. You could feel the thin barrier of your maidenhood break, and the pleasure that came after made it all feel worth it.
His rhythm was slow, watching your face for any more signs of discomfort. But when he found none, when your hands moved from his shoulders to his hair, he knew you were in the full throes of pleasure.
“My beautiful lady,” Sihtric groaned, his hips speeding up slowly as he buried his face in your neck.
A hand grasped your thigh, hooking it around his waist as he began a deeper, faster rhythm. He could already feel your walls clenching around him again, tugging him deeper. Your back arching off the bed when he began to push and press against the sweet spot deep inside you. Your moans almost breathless as you reached your second peak.
Sihtric wasn’t far behind, his hand taking yours, pinning it above your head as he grunted out his release. Your name was the last word on his lips as your tight walls milked his cock dry.
His hips slowed, your hands moving from his hair to his back as he came to a stop. Your lips kissed over his jaw and up to his lips. Slower this time, but still filled with as much love and passion.
“I love you, Sihtric. Those are the only words that can describe how I feel for you,” your voice was so soft, and the words were music to his ears.
He rolled to the side, pulling to his chest. Those three words were enough to have him internally vowing to himself – to make you his, King’s daughter or not.
“I love you too, my sweet, beautiful lady.”
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Sihtric/TLK taglist:
@legitalicat @foxyanon @thenameswinter99 @multyfangirl
@sihtricsafin @sihtricfedaraaahvicius @alexagirlie @gemini-mama
(If you want to be added/deleted, let me know)
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porcelian · 4 months ago
Text
OFFERED TENDERNESS
Summary: In which you and Jason appreciate eachothers trust in different little ways.
Warnings: fluff, because of course its fluff, idiots in love, nothing worth mentioning as a real warning.
Notes: if you know where the songs are from i love you ^⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠^ i should watch bride and prejudice again lol. My favourite pride and prejudice movie (probably because i haven't watched the other ones yet.. :⁠,⁠-⁠))
Word count: 1k.
Masterlist. Navigation.
The soft rays of the sun felt light on his skin, waking Jason from his slumber. His eyes blearily opened and tried to adjust to the light streaming into the room from the parted curtains. He yawned before turning to your side of the bed.
You always took the side closer to the window, enjoying the view before drifting off to sleep. Jason, on the other hand, slept closer to the door. He insisted it was more practical in a dangerous situation. He also preferred fewer blankets, claiming it was easier to pull off of himself.
Jason expected this to be like any other lazy morning. He usually woke up earlier than you. He would turn to your side, wrap his arms around you, and pull you closer. You'd be cocooned in warm blankets, running hot.
Jason sought you out for warmth whenever he got cold. You’d open your arms, and both of you would curl up together. You’d spend a moment in each other’s embrace, talking, making lame jokes, and then start the day.
He thought this day would be the same, accustomed to the routine. So, when his arm reached over to your side and found it empty, he panicked. He shuffled out of bed, looking around the room. You weren’t in the bedroom. You weren’t in the bathroom, brushing your teeth (with kids’ toothpaste, as he noted you liked the watermelon-scented one).
It was when he entered the hallway outside of your shared bedroom that he heard you. It was like sweet music to his ears. You were singing along to some song (horribly, yes, but still).
He peeked his head in and saw you organizing groceries in the kitchen. Almost on instinct, he moved forward and wordlessly wrapped his arms around you.
“Where were you?” He tried to mask the concern lacing his words.
You didn’t lose a second before soothing him, “Oh, I’m so sorry, honeybee. We needed groceries, and I thought I would drop by the market quickly.”
“No, no. Don’t apologize. It’s okay.” He reassured you. You were alright, and that’s all that mattered to him.
“Ya’ know, I’m pretty tired today. Wanna get take-out?” You turned to face him, running your hands through his hair, slowly caressing and massaging.
He didn’t answer your question. Instead, he nuzzled into the crook of your neck and mumbled, “You smell really good, baby.”
You started to laugh because it tickled. Jason didn’t relent, almost as if he was burning the sight of you into his mind. The smile in your eyes, the sound of your laughter.
If he could capture the sound of your laughs, the look you get when you're relaxed and comfortable, and keep it in a bottle forever, he would.
Jason couldn’t exactly do that, so he made do with his many attempts to make you smile.
“Answer my question, sunshine.”
He couldn’t help but smile at your nicknames. Never did he ever think he’d be called something sweet by someone. In your eyes, he’s sweet like honey and warm like sunshine.
Jason had never said it, but your affections made him feel like a boy again. He didn’t need to say it. You knew it, though. You cherished every moment you saw his eyes light up just a little bit when you did so.
You thanked him every time in your mind for trusting you with this piece of him.
*****
It was your and Jason’s weekly movie night, one of the rare nights you had him to yourself. Of course, you put all of your effort into making the experience comfortable and enjoyable for Jason.
The smell and sound of popcorn and soda bottles opening filled the kitchen and the living room. Hearing the opening intro of the movie, you yelled out for Jason.
“Wait! Pause it!” You sped through the apartment, almost running into the couch on which Jason was currently curled up. “Don’t start without me.” You gave him a fake pout.
He dramatically rolled his eyes. “I would never, baby.” He placed his hand on his heart, offended you would even suggest he would do this.
“Okay, okay. Start it.” You smiled. “Do not skip the songs! ‘No Life Without Wife’ and ‘Take Me To Love’ are masterpieces we cannot skip.” You emphasized the last few words.
Your dedication to the night made Jason feel something warm inside his heart, spreading through his entire body. He stared at you, taking in every detail. Not like he hadn’t already, but at this point, it had become something he did without even noticing.
You did notice, though. You could feel his blue-green eyes on you. The feeling made you feel fuzzy all over. You turned and stared back at him, the movie all but forgotten at the moment.
“Take a picture, Jay. It will last longer.” He chuckled at the smug grin on your face, finally looking back at the movie.
“We better start watching it, or we’ll end up like last time.”
“Uh-huh, I’m not falling asleep again! Don’t know about you, mister.”
“If anyone’s going to fall asleep, it’s you.”
Both of you continued this little game for a few moments before you moved closer to him.
“Is this okay?” You asked.
“Yes, it’s okay. Thank you.” He muttered the last words quietly.
You cuddled closer to him, slowly grabbing one of his arms and intertwining your fingers. It was a habit of yours, he thought. You always did it without fail. Jason was thankful for it. He thought it grounded him. A warm, peaceful feeling spread through his body as your hand touched his.
He thanked you every time in his mind for trusting him with this piece of you.
(Unfortunately, neither of you finished the movie that day. Both of you had fallen asleep. But in your mind, that wasn’t a loss at all. You were together, and that’s all that mattered to you.)
© ROBINSFILM ﹕ I do not give consent for my writing to be posted or used on any other platforms without my permission and proper credit.
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babyfoxflower · 1 month ago
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Professor
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Human! Professor! Alastor x Fem! Reader
Modern College AU
Part 1 of 2 (Part 2)
Warnings: 18+, MDNI, Age Gap (Alastor is 32 and Reader is 22), Mentions of Cheating, No Smut but Suggestive, There will be smut in part two
It had been a rough night. You broke up with your boyfriend after you found out he cheated on you. You practically chugged down a bottle of coconut rum and were now outside your handsome Communications professor’s apartment.
Is this a good idea? I don’t know but I just want to forget.
You knocked on the door. After a few moments, it opened. There he was, Professor Hartfelt, his normally gelled hair looking a little messy. He was still wearing his work clothes, white buttoned up shirt and black slacks.
“Y/n? What are you doing here at this hour?” He adjusted his round glasses.
“Professor Hartfelt! How are you on this fine night?” You slurred, leaning one arm against the door frame.
“Are you drunk, dear?” His eyes were filled with concern.
Your courage seemed to falter, “This was a bad idea, I should go.”
You turned to leave but a large hand gently took hold of your hand, “Wait, I can’t let you wander about at this time of night in your current state. Please, come in, Darling.” 
You stumbled into his apartment, he helped steady you. He led you over to the couch, “Here, sit down.”
You plopped yourself down on the couch.
“I’ll get you some water. You’re probably dehydrated.”
You giggled.
“What’s so funny, my dear?” He raised an eyebrow.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Thank you, it’s just you’re acting like my parents did whenever I came home drunk from a party.”
“Well, you seem like you need someone to take care of you right now,” Professor Hartfelt smiled softly at you.
“I’m not a child,” you puffed out your cheeks.
“I know, but you are not exactly in the state of mind to take care of yourself, are you?”
“I guess…not?”
“Let me go get that water. Would you also like a Tylenol for the inevitable headache?”
“What good is that going to do me now?” You gave him a puzzled look.
“Trust me, Darling, I’ve had my fair share of drunken nights. I know how to deal with as well as prevent hangovers.”
“Alright. I’ll take one.”
“Good girl,” he praised.
His sexy smooth voice sent a shiver through your body, your heart skipping a beat. You took a look around his apartment, it was a studio. Along with the couch you were sitting on, it had a kitchen area, a bed, and room off to the side that was most likely the bathroom. On the walls were some framed pictures and abstract art. The thing you noticed right away was there was no television.
“You don’t have a TV?” You turned to him as he was getting you some water from his refrigerator.
“No, I don’t. If you’re bored, you can turn on the radio if you like.”
“Who listens to the radio now of days?”
“I do. It’s less brain rotting than television,” he laughed.
“It’s also boring,” you scoffed.
“That we’ll just have to agree to disagree on, my dear.”
He walked over with a cup of water and a bottle of Tylenol. He took a seat next to you and handed you the water. You took a few sips.
“Would you like one or two?” Professor Hartfelt asked while opening the bottle.
“Let’s start with one and then see how I feel,” your speech slurred again.
“Alright,” he pressed one into your hand.
“Thank you, Professor,” you put the pill in your mouth and used the water to swallow it.
“Now, I want to ask you something.”
“Yes?”
“Why exactly did you choose to come here? Did something happen to you?” Concern washed over his face.
You took a few more drinks of water, before finally answering him. “I broke up with my boyfriend. He was cheating on me.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Darling. What a fool he was, throwing away a relationship with a girl like you.”
“Well as you can see, I got hammered and now I’m here.”
“Yes, but why are you here? Surely you have friends, you could have gone to.”
“I do but…”
“Go on.”
“I…wanted…to see you,” you shut your eyes tight.
“You wanted to see me?” A surprised expression on his face.
“Yes, I have a big crush on you. I was hoping that maybe you could help me forget?”
“Oh, I see. You were trying to…”
“Seduce you.”
“How did know I wasn’t married?”
“Easy, I’ve never seen you wear a wedding ring. And you are the formal, old fashioned type. If you were married, you would wear a ring.”
“Good observation. But how did you know I would even be interested?”
“Well…I’ve seen you looking at me. And it wasn’t just once or twice, you seem to have a habit of looking at me when you think I’m not.”
His face flushed just a bit, he chuckled before rubbing the back of his neck, “I’ve been caught, hmm?”
He thought for sure he was being slick about it. That you wouldn’t catch on, but you were a clever one. That’s another reason why he had a thing for you. Or as you said, ‘a big crush.’
You put your glass down on one of the coasters on the table, “Please, sir. I want to forget about that bastard! Just one night, I promise.”
“Dear, I can’t.”
“Why? Because I’m your student?”
“Not so much that. More so the fact that you’re drunk and I’m not going to take advantage of you.”
“Oh, come on! I consent! Please, fuck me. You won’t be disappointed,” you said the last part in a sultry voice.
“I’m sure I wouldn’t be, but I still not going to sleep with an intoxicated woman. It’s wrong,” he said firmly but with a tenderness in his eyes.
You started to cry, “Please…please.”
Suddenly, he scooped you up into his arms before carrying you over to his bed. He set you down gently, wiping away the tears from your eyes, “A pretty girl like you shouldn’t cry.”
“Are you?”
“No, Darling. I’m simply tucking you in. You need some sleep.”
You reached up and kissed him. He gave a tiny peck back, restraining himself, he wanted to kiss you more, give you what you craved. You weren’t even aware of how badly he wanted you. But as he said he was not going to take advantage of you.
“I promise, if you’re still interested in the morning when you’re sober, I will give you exactly what you want,” he whispered in your ear.
He went over to the couch and picked up a book from the coffee table. You huffed before removing your shoes. You turned your body away from him as you got under the covers. Slowly, you fell sleep to the soft jazz tones that were coming quietly from his radio.
Alastor sighed as he rubbed his temples, his cat who was hiding under the bed, came running into his lap. He stroked the cat gently, she purred.
“It’s always nice when the person you like, likes you back, isn’t it, Luna?” He smiled.
She meowed as if in agreement.
Stay tuned for part two!
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bad268 · 8 months ago
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hey! hope you are well. I was thinking of an idea for a Kimi Antonelli x reader story and as you write for him the best I knew you would write it so well.
maybe reader is toto's daughter, and her and kimi are in a relationship. but y/n can't make it to the last race of the season but she ends up surprising him after the race (she was there the whole time) and he runs to her and its all adorable and everyone is clapping?
just a thought!
love your work!
Couldn't Keep Me Away (Andrea Kimi Antonelli X Wolff! Reader)
Fandom: RPF/F2/F3
Requested: Clearly (I think I cooked too much with this lol...)
Warnings: sick! reader, mentions cough medicine
POV: Second Person (You/your/She/her)
W.C. 1956
Summary: She's never missed a race…until now?
As always, my requests are OPEN
MASTERLIST // HITLIST
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~~(@/Kimi’s insta from February 13, 2024)
It all came down to this. Not in the literal sense, more along the lines of it was the last race of the season. The team’s champions and driver’s championship had already been decided, so there was nothing to lose in this race. Well, except his sanity.
You had been at every race this season. Not because of your father, Toto Wolff. Actually, maybe that played a part, but you were always in the Prema garage. He could not remember what it was like to not have you in the garage between practice and qualifying or during pre-race shenanigans. 
When you were not on track for media day, he knew something was up. Yes, he knew you hated media day because it was boring, but it was also the day you had the most time together since the F1 teams and drivers were more popular interviewees. He tried texting and calling you only to receive nothing in response. He knew what he was going to have to do.
Speak to your father. 
He decided to stop by before the sprint race. Walking into the Mercedes garage, he spotted your father immediately and standing beside him, your mother, Susie, and brother, Jack. He suddenly knew that you should have been here too. The only reason you gave him in the past for why you may need to miss a race was to watch your brother. You never did miss a race, but there was always the possibility.
He swallowed his concern, not needing to worry yet, as he walked up to your family. He waited for them to finish their conversation before he tapped on Toto’s shoulder. Immediately, Toto turned around to meet Kimi’s worried eyes.
“Kimi, is there something wrong?” Toto asked, sensing Kimi’s anxiousness, but chalking it up to the upcoming race. “Is it the race?”
“No…I mean, kind of?” Kimi answered but immediately contradicted himself. It was much more different talking to Toto about you than about racing. Despite knowing that both of your parents are aware of your relationship, he tried his best to only talk to Toto about racing whenever they were on the track. This was a first for Kimi, and he just did not know how he wanted to go about asking. Finally, after receiving multiple uneasy looks from Susie and Toto, Kimi took a deep breath before just deciding to go for it. “Do you know where she is? She’s not answering my texts or calls, and I’m getting worried.”
“Oh, Kimi, she’s sick,” Susie jumped in. She knew exactly who he wanted to know about, so she showed him a text from you that said you took some medicine and would try to sleep it off. “She’s been sick almost all week. I thought she told you.”
“Oh, have she sent any updates recently? Do you know how she’s feeling?” Kimi rushed. Looking back, he realized that every time he texted you, it would have been late back at home, so it made sense that you did not respond. Plus, to add the sickness on top of it? He felt like shit for not catching it earlier.
“That was the last text I received,” Susie said, sadly. Toto stepped away as he got a call, leaving Kimi and Susie to talk while Jack was distracted by Mick. “It was sent a few hours ago, so she might be awake now. You could call her?”
“No need,” Toto said as he walked back over, holding out the phone to Kimi. “Someone wants to talk to you.”
Hesitantly, Kimi took the phone and saw your name as the caller ID. He looked back up at Toto and Susie as they turned their backs to him and walked toward the pit wall to give him a little privacy. Immediately, Kimi raised the phone to his ear, “Amore (love)? How are you feeling? I heard you were sick. Are you staying hydrated?”
He gets cut off hearing you giggle lightly before descending into a light coughing fit. He smiled lightly for a second before growing concerned once again when he heard you cough. “Slow down, liebe (love). I am feeling better, just a few coughs here and there.”
“That didn’t sound like ‘a few coughs here and there,’” He mocked lightheartedly but in all seriousness. 
“That’s because you triggered it,” you laughed again. This time, able to hold back the coughs, just needing to clear your throat before you talk again. “I promise, I’m doing better. I wouldn’t lie to you.”
“As long as you’re feeling better,” He sighed, knowing you’re alright now. Off to the side, he sees his race engineer looking for him, so he realizes that he needs to wrap up the call with you to race. “Keep resting, amore. I have to go race now, but I’ll call you after, I promise.”
“I’ll be watching, liebe,” you smiled to yourself, and Kimi could hear it too. “Good luck, Kimi. Give the phone back to my dad, please?”
With that, he walked up to Toto again to hand him the phone before disappearing with his engineer. Toto raised the phone, chuckling lightly at Kimi’s rush as he greeted his daughter. 
“Can I be on the first flight out? I feel better.”
~~
Kimi had a horrible sprint race. He was already starting in 10th because he was on pole for the feature race, but he became collateral damage in a fight between a couple of cars further back. It was the last lap too! They were all outside the points, so there really was no point in racing that hard. However, that’s what happened. 
He did his best to hide his disappointment as he walked past the engineers to the driver’s room he shared with Ollie, who was already there because of a tire blowout from one of the earlier laps. Kimi started changing out of his race suit and into his normal clothes, just wanting to sleep the race off. 
“Your phone went off a few minutes ago,” Ollie said, breaking the silence and catching Kimi’s attention as he threw a Mercedes shirt over his head. “And don’t blame yourself. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Plus, it’s not like this race mattered. You already won the championship, we won the team championship, and you have a seat for next year.”
“Thanks, Ollie, but that’s not the point,” Was he lying? Partly, but there was some truth. He was upset at the race result, but he was also still slightly bummed that you were not there. Thinking of you, he wanted to call you.
Kimi looked through his bag for his phone, finding it with no problems. He noticed the number of notifications, but the only one that mattered to him was the one from you. It was a few minutes prior and it read, “I’m so sorry liebe! That crash was nasty, I hope you’re okay. I just took more medicine, so I might be asleep by the time you finish post-race media. I’ll call you when I wake up. Ich liebe dich (I love you).”
He sent a quick response, telling you he was alright and he loved you. Then, he went about the rest of his day. And the rest of his night. And the next morning. At that point, he started getting nervous again since you were not responding again. What kind of medicine were you taking that knocked you out for 12 hours, he thought. 
He wanted to go back to your parents again, but the feature race prep was different compared to the sprint. He did not have the same break he did with the sprint. Ever since he got to the track, he was warming up and prepping for the final race. He was nervous given the result the day before. He did not want to end the season on a double DNF, especially when he was going to get an F1 seat the following season in a Mercedes. He had to score well in the race.
If he had found a way to get to the Mercedes garage, he would have seen you sitting with your brother while your parents had a last-minute meeting. And if Kimi had been in any other starting position, he would have seen you walk into the Prema garage with Jack. Pole position was different though because they needed to do more interviews and promo pictures. If Kimi could have seen around his car from his grid box, he would have seen you sitting on the pit wall.
The race started without a hitch, Kimi was back in his groove, and it was clear to see that he was confident in his moves again. Sure, he was not fighting anyone for position, but there were a couple of times when he had to defend. He did so perfectly, and it made people wonder if the sprint race was just a one-off day for him. It was all worth it when he crossed the finish line first again.
The team immediately ran to Parc Ferme to wait for the cars as they scored a Prema 1-2. Kimi pulled into the first spot, Ollie into the second, and Victor in the third. Ollie and Victor jumped out of their cars immediately, running to their teams, but Kimi took a minute. This win should have felt good, especially after the disaster that was the sprint race, but it didn’t.
It was fun to win, but he was going to have to jump out of the car and celebrate with his team. Just his team. This is the first race you were not going to be there celebrating with him, and he would rather delay the inevitable. 
You could feel his hesitance to get out of the car, so you handed Jack over to your parents as you pulled up your mask and pushed through the people to get to the gate. You got there relatively easily considering you went through the Prema team, and they knew you would be the first person he’d want to see.
Kimi finally climbed out and stood on top of his car, posing for the camera momentarily. Then, his attention shifted to his team, and he froze. You were there! He’d recognize those eyes anywhere! Of course, you made it. He jumped off of the car and flung himself over the barrier to wrap you in his arms.
“You made it. I can’t believe you made it,” He whispered over and over, not even bothering to question if you could hear him through his helmet. That’s when he remembered, so he pulled back to take his helmet and balaclava off as well as his gloves. He put the back of his hand against your forehead to check your temperature, causing you to laugh. “Don’t laugh at me! I’m seeing if you’ve got a fever.”
“I’m all good, my fever broke yesterday,” You consoled as you pulled his hand off of your forehead to hold it as you kissed his cheek through your mask. “I’m all good. The mask is just a precaution.”
“Screw precaution, I wanna kiss you,” Kimi whined as he pulled the mask down to give you a long kiss. Despite not actually hearing it, the team all started clapping and F1 TV definitely got a good shot of you two. When he pulled away, he put the mask back on for you as he leaned his head against yours. “I still can’t believe you’re here.”
“You couldn’t keep me away even if you tried,” You whispered back, leaning up to bump your nose against his, “I’ll always find a way to be here for you.”
~~~~~
© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.
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twst-drabbles · 2 months ago
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Jamil 17
Summary: You and Jamil lay in his bed in his dorm room. While you’re very tired, you’re visibly not bothered by the social implications of being in the bed of another. Jamil, on the other hand, is a little too aware.
(I saw the birthday card and went “eh, why not?” and wrote this.)
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Was this something common in your world? Where, out of nowhere, people will just casually ask their friends if they can sleep with them in their bed? Because that’s what you did to Jamil. You approached him, luckily out of earshot from anyone important, and asked that very question with zero shame.
“Hey Jamil? Mind if I sleep with you in your bed tonight?”
Jamil will admit, it took him a good five seconds for him to register the words. And, he will also admit that he banged his knee against the table he was cleaning. Hit it so hard actually that he curled up into a ball, and practically retreated into his hoodie because why would you ask that?! In broad daylight?!
But you know what’s the worst part about all this? Jamil actually got excited. Giddy even! When the hot flush flooding through his body finally settled, all that was left was this glowing feeling.
At the time, he thought that his charms have finally got to you. That all his efforts to be in your good graces have begun to bear fruit.
And so he said, “You know what? Yes, let’s do that. Setting aside the way you asked that, I think I can find it in my heart to forgive that.”
Past him’s an idiot. For all those times he thought himself above the hormonal college students, turns out Jamil was no better. He supposed it was only a matter of time before he was humbled.
And so here Jamil lays on his side of the bed, dressed in his best pajamas, surrounded by the best sheets and pillows he uses for special occasions, and you laying on your stomach, reading the next chapter for one of your classes.
You came in with a tired wave, bag at hand, and flopped over in his bed. And you’ve been in that pose since.
“So, this was what you meant.” Jamil said. Now that his judgment is clear again after an hour of doing nothing, he really should’ve known you didn’t mean anything special by what you asked. Shame on him for expecting an extra meaning to them.
“Hmm? Oh, was the way I asked weird?” You glanced towards him. Jamil recognizes that exhausted look weighing in your eyes. Perhaps, through the rose-tinted glasses, Jamil didn’t notice. Once again, shame on him. Jamil should suffocate himself with these pillows. “Sorry about that. I just really want one good night of sleep. Just one.”
The urge to hit himself with the pillows lessened. Jamil moved onto his stomach, and copied your position, propping his chin on the pile. “Is there something wrong with your bed?”
You put your phone down. “Weather’s getting hotter and I still don’t have a working air con. It gets so humid at night that I sweat through the night. Can barely get more than three hours of sleep at a time.”
…of course the headmage would neglect to give you something as simple as a stable heating and cooling. Leave it to him to ignore your problems while he goes off doing whatever else. Probably binge watching an old drama that’s not even any good.
“I can’t imagine it’s been easy to deal with. Though, I have to ask, why my bed? You have others that you’re closer to, don’t you?”
Others such as Ace and Deuce, but Jamil didn’t want to say their names. It’s childish but he doesn’t want to see if your eyes light up at their mere mention.
You stretched your spine and settled down. “Yeah I know other people, but–how do I say this–they’ll make it weird.”
Weird? Like how Jamil preparing everything from the lights, to the blankets and even stuffing his drawer with extra wipes just in case wasn’t weird? What?
“Wait, what you mean by weird?” Now Jamil’s worried. Did something happen for you to say that? Did someone do something to you?
You waved off his concern. “Well, see, originally I was just going to ask Rook since he doesn’t mind sharing spaces with anyone, but he’s also very into cuddling and I’m not in the mood for that.”
“That’s true, he’s very open about that kind of thin–wait you cuddled him before?” Since when?
“Cuddled him plenty of times. Rook gives the best hugs without trying to flirt with me. Anyways, Rook wasn’t an option, and neither are Ace and Deuce since there’s no room to spare. There was Leona but after that whole ordeal with Azul, I really don’t want to go back there. And as for asking Azul himself… I feel like he’d charge me for that. So, here I am.”
Oh. Well, when putting it like that, it does make sense doesn’t it? So long as you don’t figure out exactly what went through his head when you asked. He’ll just keep quiet about that.
Jamil sighed into his pillow. “While I want to ask why you didn’t ask Kalim, but I know him too well. A peaceful rest isn’t something he can give, not with the way he sleeps.”
You patted his shoulder and it took everything in Jamil to not jump out of his skin. “You get it. So, yeah, thanks Jamil, for not saying no. Honestly, I was ready to find an empty classroom and just sleeping in there.”
Jamil narrowed his eyes. “Don’t do that. You’ll get in trouble. Just sleep here for the time being. When I have time, I’ll see about pestering Crowley into getting everything in order.”
“You do too much for me, Jamil. Really.”
While things didn’t play out the way he wanted to, the warmth flooding in his chest has not once went away. If anything, from the sight of your smile, it threatened to overflow.
This is nice, that you trust him like this.
“…alright, this is still bothering me. How did you and Rook even start cuddling in the first place?”
And can he add himself onto that list of people you cuddle with?
“Hahaha, yeah that is strange, right? Alright, may as well tell you.”
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hysteria-things · 10 months ago
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TOUR (part one)
read part two here
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𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: sub!matt x reader
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: matt’s been on tour for about a month, meaning he hasn’t seen or done anything with you in a month. he takes matters into his own hands when he’s finally alone, but he does need your help with it.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: SMUT, mentions underage drinking, swearing, male masturbation, overstimulation (kinda)
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 830
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: umm guys i literally woke up to over a hundred notifications??? thank you SO much i didn’t expect this to happen at all. i’m having so much fun with this🥲
my notes app is COOKING right now and the ideas are ideaing. you guys and your support makes me low key emotional LMAO
i want to try and post once a day but i might do more than once sometimes instead because i am HYPE.
also conflicted if i should make a part two so let me know!
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it’s friday night and you’re sitting in your best friend’s living room. the two of you and other close friends come together some weekends to hang out. you guys have been laughing, drinking (despite being underage by a year), watching TV, or playing games. in the middle of laughing, you feel your phone buzz repeatedly underneath your thigh. you lift your leg to retrieve it, seeing an incoming phone call from your boyfriend matt.
“hey, sorry. mind if i take this?” you ask the group, lifting your phone so they can see the screen.
“not at all.” your best friend smiles.
you get up from the couch. “thanks. continue the game without me.”
you speed walk to the bathroom and close the door accepting the call and bringing it to your ear. “hello?”
“hey.” he breathes out.
“hey, you.” you smile. “how are you doing?”
“fine,” he says. he’s silent for a beat before speaking again. “sorry i didn’t talk to you much today. it’s been busy, but we just finished the tampa show.”
you haven’t seen matt in over a month because he’s been touring with his brothers across the country. you couldn’t be more proud, but you guys miss each other like crazy.
“did you win?”
“damn right i did, baby,” he says hoarsely. he sounds a bit strange to you, but you shrug it off as exhaustion. doing shows almost every day can wear somebody out.
but oh boy are you wrong.
on the other line, matt sits on his bed in the tour bus with his hand wrapped around his dick. your recent post on instagram is displayed on his screen as you talk about your day on the other end, having no clue what’s happening.
the post consists of you posing, wearing a short navy blue dress. your tits practically spilled out of the top.
“…was crazy.” you finish. “anyway, is tour fun so far? it’s almost over already.”
“uh huh.” he squeezes his eyes shut and throws his head back. he hisses, his movements gradually becoming faster. he’s sensitive, and it hurts so fucking bad. he needs to release, but only you have the power to make him come undone.
“matt? you okay? you sound off.” you ask concerned.
“keep talking, baby. i’m so close.”
you go to say something, but instead, press your ear closer to the phone. you hear shuffling and grunting. it doesn’t take a mastermind to figure out what he’s doing.
“you’re being risky, matthew.” you say teasingly, a whine escaping his lips. he prefers being called matt, but with you, matthew rolls perfectly off of your tongue. “where’s everybody else, hm?”
“at the store,” he says shakily, his hand pumping faster. he takes his thumb and twirls it around his red tip where pre-cum is threatening to spew out. “i need to cum so bad.”
“then do it, baby. pretend it’s me making you feel so good,” you say seductively, biting your lip as you hear his sounds of pleasure.
you get that familiar feeling in your core, but because you’re at a friend's, you’ll feel weird doing it in her bathroom.
guess you’ll have to wait until you’re all alone.
“fuck.” he whispers, stomach jerking. he thrusts up into his fist a few times to finish the job. he whines as he makes a mess all over his stomach and thighs.
he whines again, purposely trying to overstimulate himself. “matt, don’t overdo it. you’re too sensitive.” you say, knowing he didn’t stop because you can still hear the commotion.
“please.” he exhales. “one more.”
“hold on,” you reply, opening the camera app on the phone. you pull the straps down of your dress and pull out your boobs, pushing them together and snapping a picture. you know how much matt goes crazy over them. you send the photo, waiting for his reaction.
you bring the phone back up to your ear to hear a sigh of “holy fuck” fall from his mouth.
“i need to fuck your tits so bad.” he groans, throwing his head back as he tries to reach his second orgasm.
you bite your lip to hide your smile, enjoying this a little too much. the wet noises on the other line drive you insane.
“i’m gonna— fuck, i’m cumming.” he lets out a loud moan as he makes another mess, his dick red and swollen. he’s still not satisfied, because you’re not there. he continues pumping his cramped hand, but you and he both know it’s no use.
“matt, that’s enough.” you say sternly. “don’t do it too much, okay? it’ll hurt.”
he obliges, removing his hand and lying there. his breathing starts to slow, but he’s still panting. “i miss you so much.”
“i miss you too.” you coo. “just a few more days, okay?”
“okay,” he mumbles.
you lied.
what matt doesn’t know is that you have a plane ticket for tomorrow, to fly out to ft. lauderdale for the last show.
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𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!
@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @mattsneezing
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dahliaslove · 1 year ago
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⭑ HC’S OF SLASHERS WITH A BIMBO S/O
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⭑ authors note: this was very fun to make so feel free to request any similar head canons also lmk if i should make a part two with more slashers :)
⭑ warnings: small mention of kidnapping, some of them immediately make your appearance sexual (sorry but they’re very mentally unstable), stalking, mention of panty stealing, corruption kink, aged up stu as if he got away with the killings and went on to college, small mention of fucking in a bathroom, basically they’re all perverts to some extent (sorry)
⭑ characters: thomas hewitt, michael myers, bo sinclair, lester sinclair, vincent sinclair, stu macher
no detailed smut, but minors don’t interact please!
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THOMAS HEWITT
- living in the conservative and rural south, i doubt he’s seen many people decked out in as much pink as you while also simultaneously wearing as little clothing as possible
- luda mae will definitely judge you by the way you dress but once she gets to see how well you treat her tommy she’s letting it slide and excusing it by saying that it’s necessary to dress like that in the heat or something
- once you’re an established person in the hewitt residence i feel like they wouldn’t really have to hide their cannabalism from you too hard due to you being you know . . . oblivious
- hoyt would 100% make some sort of remark to you that has thomas fuming, like he knows you’re such a kind and gentle person and hoyt should not be trying to get with you like that, even if you don’t necessarily notice that he’s being sleazy toward you
- i know thomas would low key struggle to contain himself around you and is definitely ashamed about it because he should not be feeling this way when you’re not even doing anything necessarily sexual
- like he feels pathetic palming himself in secret while thinking about you in your short skirts and tight tops but after you find out about this he’ll absolutely let you help him out with it
- imagine trying to calm the creaking from his bed so his family doesn’t hear as you ride him silly with your skirt rolled up your thighs and his big hands holding onto your waist . . .
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
MICHAEL MYERS
- the amount of pink you’re wearing is what first catches michaels attention. he definitely stalks you at first and just watches you waltz around in your bright pink attire, oblivious to michael watching you, very obviously too.
- to be honest i think this would frustrate him at first, like why aren’t you noticing that there a dangerous man following you around?!
- oh my god and if you’re someone who constantly forgets to lock their doors? michael is literally taking that as an invitation to break into your place. he doesn’t even bother to hide whenever you come walking down stairs in your short and cutesy matching pajama top and bottoms, he just waits for you to notice.
- mans is absolutely baffled whenever you turn to him and instead of freaking out, you just smile and ask him if he’s hungry. i would like to say that he would take this invitation and take a container of whatever food you have and then just awkwardly leave and question his whole entire existence.
- he comes back though, because even murderers have to eat, right? he just keeps coming back to your house frequently until he’s practically living with you.
- i feel like one day you would probably see him on the news while looking for something to watch and be like oh my god my new roommate is a killer? well . . . he hasn’t hurt me so it’s whatever i guess . . . wait! that’s why he never pays rent?
- once you guys cross the line from roommates to a couple, he will honestly be a little concerned for your well-being, like how does someone as oblivious as you even make it through the day?
- don’t worry though, michael will absolutely stalk you to check in on you and will murder anyone who does anything to you :)
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
BO SINCLAIR
- to be honest, this mf is gonna sexualize you immediately. He’s turning his charm levels all the way to 11 and trying to win you over in his own manipulative and slightly hot way though.
- he definitely gets annoyed by you being clumsy, but he uses that as an opportunity to 100% be a pervert by letting his hands wander or just straight up staring down at your tits or ass.
- trust me, as soon as this man is in your vicinity he is rock hard because he literally has the dirtiest mind ever and has absolutely no chill. ( this makes the sex 1000% better though )
- he for sure has nude polaroids of you in his wallet, like imagine gifting them to him sealed with a bright lipstick stain on the back and a cutely drawn heart. he also jacks off to these in the back of his shop because he has no shame when it comes to you as i said earlier.
- he probably wouldn’t worry much about you leaving due to you being oblivious to the situation you’re in but he would definitely be more protective of you because of this when you get to know each other more.
- like if any tourist tries to do or say anything to you that he doesn’t like? he’s gonna try and keep his act together with clenched teeth and a strained smile before killing them off himself instead of sending them to vincent or something.
- definitely makes fun of you for being a naive klutz though. like he will manipulate you to the max to get you to comply for him, he’ll say things like “just please do it for me, okay sugar?” and have you wrapped right around his finger.
- the same kinda goes the other way, just to an extent. after a while of you laying some sweet loving on him he’ll definitely be asking lester to pick you up some pretty lipsticks and anything that he thinks you’ll find cute.
- over all, you’re bo’s walking wet dream and he literally can not get over you especially after you guys get in a relationship and to you he’s just your silly little mechanic boyfriend who lives in a weirdly empty town.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
LESTER SINCLAIR
- lives for the aesthetic and finds you so pretty but is a total pervert and he, like bo, uses your naivety to his advantage
- he gives panty stealer vibes to me, like i know he probably acts all innocent and puppy eyed around you but as soon as you look away for one second he’s going into your room and stealing your panties you know? (he still does it while you’re in a relationship too, because this man can not be stopped)
- say you work at a cute little diner he likes to frequent (because of you) he will go there every other day and butter you up only to leave the parking lot of the diner and jerk off into his hand on the side of some abandoned road . . .
- he will find a way to be with you whether it be literally stealing you away or finding you on the side of the road after your cars broken down and convincing you to stay with him. and with the second option being more likely (he will mess with your car and plan out the whole thing) you won’t even realize he’s got you tied in with him forever
- you’ll just think lester is the sweet southern man from the diner who’s turned into your boyfriend who takes care of you and let you move into his place really quickly
- He absolutely has a corruption kink, like he loves the idea of being with someone so perfect and just absolutely ruining them. he also definitely has you christen his truck for “good luck” by fucking you in there until you’re a sticky sobbing mess.
- but on the softer side of things, i know lester is so greatful for you and can’t believe that someone as sweet and pretty as you could love him. especially as someone who wasn’t loved properly as a child :(
- and he’s so protective over you too because he knows how mean the world can be and he doesn’t want anyone else to hurt you. so he’s definitely extra careful when he has you in the car and is picking up tourists. it’s low key funny because he’s over here worried they’re gonna say something mean to you and not that you’re gonna find out what he’s luring them into. if they do something though, he makes sure to tell his brothers to make their death slow and painful :)
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
VINCENT SINCLAIR
- he absolutely adores you, like he loves having a silly lil naive pink loving partner.
- anytime you’re having one of your airhead moments he will calmly explain to you in more detail until you understand what he’s talking about :(
- he loves drawing you, he does it so much it’s to the point where his pink colored pencils are getting shorter and are always dull from use. he hangs the drawings up all over his walls and stuff too, which literally has you leaving kisses all over him and drowning him in compliments (he gets very flustered)
- tries to keep you away from the fact he turns people into wax statues, but is glad that you don’t even seem to notice! imagine you complimenting him on how life like they look and he’s like :-|
- probably very protective over you, especially if you come into contact with bo . . . who has no shame in flirting with you but you’re just like no thanks i have a perfectly awesome and cool boyfriend :) (bo’s ego was very hurt that day)
- this immediately has him rolling all over the house and happily dancing because he loves you so much and you’re all his
- just because he feels like this doesn’t also mean he’s not a perv like the rest of them though (you thought you were safe muahaha) he probably has so many nude drawings of you, mans absolutely gets every detail in them too
- he hides them from you at first but if you find them . . . oh my lord he’s gonna be so embarrassed . . . and hard. seeing him depict you so beautifully, probably splayed out on pink sheets too, immediately has you on your knees for him.
- i don’t care i would suck this man dry to show my appreciation, like until he has tears in his eyes and he’s just uncontrollably bucking his hips into your mouth
- basically he loves you in pink and is your #1 supporter!!!
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
STU MACHER
- absolutely whipped for you and you have him following you around with heart eyes all over campus
- doesn’t tell you about his side hobby of killing people, because he honestly doesn’t feel the need too since you believe him anytime he says the red staining his shoes is paint.
- absolutely gives you the princess treatment since he has all that money from his rich parents, so he buys you new clothes, gives you mail money, money to get your hair done, ect, ect.
- but he also does it with his actions you know? like he absolutely opens the door for you with a dramatic bow and says something like “after you, m’lady”
- he’s the type of guy that will go out of his way to look up your skirt to fluster you though
- he’s still a pervert but he’s more jokey about it, for example, he makes all sorts of dirty jokes and giggles like a maniac when you don’t understand them. when you do though, you’ve got him down on his knees for you, if you respond back by flirting, just know he’s taking you off to some bathroom and absolutely fucking you dumb and when you’re done he’s flipping your skirt back down and leaving the bathroom with a spring in his step.
- basically you’re just his sweet lil bimbo partner who he spoils endlessly in kisses n’ nice stuff who thankfully never notices the blood staining random items in his apartment :)
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
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court-jobi · 2 months ago
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Goldeneye Down
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((banner by me! I don't own Horikoshi's characters/stories))
Pairing: Hawks x reader (quirkless!(gn)reader)
Words: 4.6K
Rating: T+ (canon-typical post-mission shenanigans, so it gets raw, kids.)
Warnings: canon-typical violence, description of injuries/blood, mentions of medical trauma, anxiety, so many tears, mutual pining, HURT/COMFORT, angst with a happy ending
Summary:
If a kiss would fix him, he'd sooner never breathe again. If you knew it would work, you'd surrender your lungs and anything else for his comfort. He hardly gets tender treatment after a fight- and that shows by how tightly he's hugging your waist for dear life. Alternatively: three times you've witnessed your dashing Hawks masking his hurt, until he can't anymore. Each time is worse than the last- until you finally learn that you're the only one who truly asks how he feels after nights like this. Not 'how are your wings' or 'is he stable'... but it's you who takes the time to wipe his face gently with a washcloth: not to rid Hawks of the sweat and grit to make him presentable, but gifting Keigo the chance to feel clean for once.
A/N: Yall, this man is one of my favorite characters on this show, and I have so many writing plans for him-- so apologies for starting right out the gate with angst??? I love him I swear
For my My Hero Academia Masterlist, check it out here!
Read on AO3
The first time you ever saw Hawks shirtless was hardly the stuff fantasies or a perfume advert concocted. He was bandaged across one entire pec, around his middle, and up to his shoulder, after all.
Work as a writer took you to many glamorous locations, but also to the grittiest– recently, hero hospitals when there’s been a close call and you are in for an interview with either a dying hero for their final public wish, or a heartfelt op-ed about a rising sidekick’s latest stand against threat and evil. In either case, you’d wound up at the bedside of a darling rescue agent who’d had an incredible story to share despite their career-ending injuries. 
With a genuine word of thanks and a shared pudding packet, you were leaving the hospital wing in fairly good spirits until your stomach turned in shock at what awaited you in the hallway– a gravely bandaged Hawks standing at the nurse’s station in a half state of dress, locking eyes with you in the first instance where you’d ever caught him off his guard. 
Those gorgeous eyes flashed in nervous panic which melted into boyish charm awfully quickly- standard practice for the secret object of your affections-
“Well gosh, nurse, I thought you’d give a guy a warning if a guardian angel was going to be visiting today… I’d have been decent enough to put a shirt on~!”
It was a detour of hoarse-voiced flirting on his part and masked heartbreak on yours. Seeing the blonde numbed out and paler than you’d ever witnessed him out on the job, your veil of professionalism slipped enough to really see Hawks in this moment… and catch wind of an unaware attendant who slipped the hero’s last name in front of you. 
Said PA immediately recoiled upon seeing you -an extended member of the press- overhear the #2 Pro Hero’s legal name. Though at your insistence that you were here on business that didn’t concern him, Hawks visibly relaxed enough to give you his first name himself the moment the nurse left. 
‘Mr. Takami is far too formal to come outta you; don’t even think about calling me that, dove.’
Keigo Takami truly was a man containing multitudes, but for all the tough talk about how ‘you should have seen the other guy’, you worried about that man you’ve seen now without his gold visor that night when you went home, and wondered if he was sleeping ok with his chest bound like that. 
The next injury sighting took several months of continued text exchanges, private balcony sidebars, and continued endurance of Hawks’ public displays of blatant sweet talking for you to see him less than chipper again.
Your meeting with the HPSC Press Chair was running painfully long, but necessary given the content you were working on publishing for them as side work. It wasn’t doable for you to take on a full-time job with the Hero Commission, but in your philanthropic effort to unite the civilian world with those of high profile heroes, you took on these winded assignments with the promise of a pay bump… as well as a chance to see your darling flyboy. Not that they’d note or care about your budding affections for him. Thankfully, your tight lipped smiles at him were ironclad and his reputation as a charming star preceded him, even to his higher ups so the true feelings never fully sunk in so long as you were mindful.
Pulling a doubletake at your presence in the conference room from the glass windows led Hawks to hang a left inside to quip at you, fully interrupting your meeting despite the scowls he received from the suits lining the table.
“Well isn’t this a pleasant surprise~ hey there, lovedove. Aren’t you pretty as a peach today?”
“Hey there, yourself,” you turned to acknowledge him politely, but pointedly fixed on his eye that laid nearly completely blackened and the cheek scraped to a raw red.  “--aren’t you looking- purple.”
Hawks being sufficiently threatened to report elsewhere didn’t stop him from throwing you a dismissive wink and a smirk at your subtle worry,
 “Oh this? Nah, it’ll fade. I could use the blush anyway~ it’ll save me a trip for photos tomorrow!”
That charming show of optimism wasn’t a surprise as you turned back to your grumpily apologetic managers, though you never did quite forget how Keigo stayed in the entryway soaking in even your curt ending of the conversation. He had to be practically ushered out by some fellow training officers for him to go on his merry way. Your inspection of him had been lightning quick, and you were nearly certain he was black and blue in more places than his face judging by how he sidestepped out the door.
Would he ever take his pain seriously? Under all that swagger, you certainly hoped so. Or else you hoped someone would make a fuss over him. 
Hawks shows on your patio at 12:30 in the morning one day, knocking silly on your side door. It’s been weeks since you wrote another touching piece for the HPCS’s statement on civic protection, and too long since he’s taken a rooftop stroll with you. Hell, far too long that he's had you close. Keeping you at his side, tucked under his towering wing, shielding you from the night winds, peppering each other with soft-spoken words and some stolen kisses he swears mean more to him than a move ‘just for luck’. 
Hawks knocks three times... huffing. He glanced towards the ground, tucking what's left of his wings further in with a wince. He knocks four more times, each more insistent than the last, but mindful of the noise. He even shushes himself in the delirium, canvassing your living room for signs of life.
Your oven light was still on, suggesting you hadn't gone through your full nighttime shutdown yet. That single light bulb in your kitchen appeared to double the more he stared, and tried to blink the unease away. Shit. He's really in no condition to fly. The sidewalk below your floor takes his attention again at the cry he hears. The sound is only cat this time, but still makes him oh-so nervous.
Hawks moans his impatience coupled by the searing pain, begging you to come notice him at the sliding glass. He drops his head damp with sweat to the window (intent to apologize for it later) and just bangs on the window like the desperate man he is.
"Please be up, please be up, please..."
When he opens his eyes briefly, he sees a shadow before him approaching. You'd flicked on more light in your living room and were jogging up to the window with shock brightening your features to total wakefulness. He's never been happier to see you so panicked.
Your confusion is palpable behind the door as you push the blind’s interior locking rod aside and flip up the lock, sliding it-- and Hawks-- along with you.
"Who-ooah!! Hawks??" You whisper-scream.
Stumbling aside, he grips his still bleeding hip and winces at what that move causes for his back. Eyes screwed shut, he can't even quite manage a suave, sweet greeting; he merely sighs your name as an answer to prayer.
You take in this poor, disheveled shell of a hero as he looks every bit like he's come from a dogfight. Not only were his wings sparse and bony from overuse, but his left wing was seizing up and stunted at a poor angle you knew wasn't natural.
oh my God, those poor wings… You collected him up with ready arms- gingerly guiding inside through the center of the patio, wary of bumping either's span of the door. 
"carefulcarefulcareful–"
"eh, it’ll-- nnngh!!" Hawks doubled over-thankfully right into you- "I got'kicked in the back-- right under...ahhhh~ "
Not only that, but despite the blackness of his under armour and gloves, you noted now by movement and smell that he was bleeding elsewhere. Besides the hobble, he sports a busted cheekbone and lip– which he likely bit himself.
This was a hard state to see him in and truly frightened you by the blood loss alone. Worse than any other time you’d seen him after a mission by far.
Primal, parental  instincts filled you and spilled out before you could stop yourself.
"Honey, we gotta get you to Dagoba General; it's closest--"
"I can't-" Hawks stopped you with a vice grip on your wrist while he hobbled along, "s'too public."
-Not allowed, even in an emergency. This you remembered from his earlier run through of policies about heroes needing medical attention; where in the city he could go, how it should be handled privately, and out of civilian's eyes.
"oh shit-- well, how bout the hero hospital, the one by that high school? Can't you call- or I can call! Let me-"
"No~" hawks moaned miserably. "I jus' gotta sit."
“Aren’t you -uh- supposed to have your legs up? You can lay back, it’s ok,” you try to guide him, but he only wavers- set on sitting up. His still-sure sights canvassing the room tells you he’s in a protective, alert headspace here in new surroundings. He might need more direction from you to break this..
"Hawks-- this is beyond what I can do,” You tried to reason with him, grappling a random throw blanket semi draped on the couch before he could sit down. “I told you I worked in refugee centers, I only know basic first aid- but this is more than I can help you, honey! They can get you fluids, a transfusion if you need it, pain meds stronger than what I have from the corner store if you’d just- where's your phone, I can call for an ambulan-"
Hawks fired up right away-
"NO!!" He begged, "no- they, they can't.. I don't wan'.."
Helping him sit, you knelt carefully trying to hear through his clear pain-rattled rant.
You assume he doesn't want the trouble of an ambulance or worry it wouldn't get here in time- which scares you more is debatable.
"We’re working against time here, hot stuff.." you tried for levity, caressing his hand. While he took it shakily, he bit his groan back.
He looked at you seriously, but pouted back in a way you'd normally giggle at, "No 'wee-woos'."
"I know you don't want ‘wee-woos’, but I think we're past that now." 
You cup Hawks’ cheek which successfully transfixes his attention right on your face, while you blindly try his jacket's inner pocket for his phone- closer than yours that’s clear in the back bedroom on your charger, 
"Look, I'll even talk for ya, okay? You don’t have to explain a thing about what happened tonight. Let's just get you help-"
"NO!! I can't hav' 'em find you here!"
His outburst startled you so you pulled back from his jacket entirely- at a true loss, "Can’t have who find me?"
"I won' let 'em," Hawks shook his head, pressing into his side, "I-- they don' know I'm here- they can' see only the pinpoint. Not ell'vation. Ahh. Don't wan'em know.. where you live, f’they don’ already."
You fought to keep up. He's clearly distressed- but you're surprised it's by the thought over your residence being found out. Who would be upset at the fact of him being here enough to have him shaken from even emergency services finding out?
Then you realize, he’s on the clock. He’s gotten hurt at work, and he’s not patrolling anymore. ‘The asset is damaged,’ and he’s laying low effectively out of sight.
"Your.. what, your bosses? Is that what you're worried about right now?"
Hawks was fighting for some deeper breaths. Some old instincts finally kicking in, he’s pushing air out forcefully though his lips in a decent try to slow himself down. He knows you know that much– how his work is essentially divvied into two piles: the stuff you hear about on the news, and the stuff you don't. The HPSC handles both, but primarily involves him in one. Thankfully, he knows you're quick enough to know tonight is a night of the latter and one that you know you shouldn't ask too much more of, despite your clear desire for understanding. 
But he’s bleeding on your sofa and he is about to damn near break or bleed out and you feel drawn to his heart and feel a selfish urge to know.
"I don't understand- why, ... why come here if you were worried, Kei?"
"I was.. close,” he offered with some huffs again.
That answer felt too loaded, but you were too groggy yourself to reason with such a clammy man dealing with who knows how much blood loss.
He forced as much clarity to his vision as he could, while watching you get up to close the patio door up. You shut the blinds for good measure too before debating whether to run back to the bathroom and  grab what gauze and antiseptics you had. For both the sake of time and to keep the poor man from following you throughout the apartment like you knew he’d try to do, you settled on wetting a few washcloths by the sink and came back to him.
"Your fight was close to here?" You kept him in the moment while attempting to get off his coat. He sat forward to help in this, but his eyes shut hard as it forced his shoulder blades together, to feed the gap over the wings.
Through steeled grunts he manages it, then strangles out the basics for you, "Y-yeah.. small.. weap'n traffic ring. But we had intel they'd.. Had a hit out on’the magistrate."
You set the bloodied jacket to the ground- torn between looking at his pained face and getting a look at the hip he was leaning into.
"They hadda few tough quirk users," Hawks gritted, separating his hand at your insistence. The shirt peeling back sticky was the least of his worries when you laid the wet washcloth at his side, "one had blades for legs, n’the other had a kind of whip-AHH!!"
Only water, but it burned like hell. Burned through the mess he'd made of himself. Proof he'd been sent in there outmatched-- 5 to 1 so he says, but even for the #2 Hero, the odds were stacked against him for a covert attack. You whispered a gentle apology over the sting.
You hated hearing the challenge and clear surprise of the incident that caused this version of your hero to be brought to the surface, knocking on your door like a kid trying to sneak back into the house in the middle of the night.
"So they nicked you here– and your back?" You asked gently, "Anywhere else?"
"They were gonna take out the block--"
You heard the panic rise in him again, the tremor in voice and wings.
"Haw-.. Keigo."
"They were gonna-- they didn't even know you lived up here.. you of all people.. but they were gonna do it. I had- said I hadta stop em, whatever it took.."
You set the first soiled cloth aside, centered between his spread knees, and cupped his face in both hands now. He's trembling all over and pulse is going wild under your fingers. He locked onto your necklace- avoiding your eyes in anger, guilt, and a messy, gnarled ball of exhaustion while you cleaned his face.
It wasn’t clinically necessary, but you wanted to.
 "But you stopped them," you reminded, "You said you got 'em, right?"
Something flitted across his face that looked hollow- like a younger side of Keigo Takami was looking for help finishing his thoughts. Like he was reverting to a shadow self that was about to cry just feeling you cool down his neck with the clean side of a washcloth.
"I got em." He barely whispered, new frustrated tears flooding his eyes and forcing his brows together. "I did it. I did-- what they wanted me to."
The way he says it is not a victory. It's guilty, not even proud in a sense of justice. It was forced; not unlike a militant following orders.
"The safety commission, keeping folks safe at all costs," you answered for him, forcing his eyes to blink at the name. What crimson feather remained ebbed and rustled on impulse.
Suddenly, he frowned down at his own hands, suddenly wrenching himself free of his damp, tainted gloves, like they were burning him alive the longer they stayed on his fingers. 
"Cost them," Hawks croaked, "Wanted t’take ‘em in, make them pay the way we always do. But then they said they're taking the block out- and I couldn't let em- I couldn't let them get you or anyone else--I shoulda felt like a damn hero they say I am."
Hawks shook his head pathetically, nearly collapsing forward at the feel of you raking his bangs back, before he sobbed,
"but I didn't want to. They begged. Couldn’a run when they knew they couldn't win, so they begged. I don't wanna do it this way, don't want it to come to this. I can't keep ending it all just because I can!! I’m no–"
Hawks wipes harshly at his eyes with the heel of his palm, his anger at a tipping point.
Your heart sobers and breaks altogether. He's confessing to you because he knows this whole ordeal is going to be painted so differently by the media in the morning. Heroes have to make impossible calls- and you know his handlers don't make it easier on him when it comes to completing these covert assignments. They’ve essentially given him a license none others do- allowances that dance in the world of grey.
Hawks and heroes like him have been granted permission to take lethal measures. But it’s a grim, fell thought that when you’re in the moment- the choice to kill or stay in your armed hands. The pressure is bound to weigh anyone, make them crack and doubt their sensibilities.
Any bystander would call Hawks heroic for saving more lives than taking them- but fear is what forces him to kill. Fear of loss, of the catastrophic unknown that he continues to fight for faster and faster. 
You leveled with Hawks’ sightline, forcing terrified eyes to yours. While the sight of this confident man worn down grieved you, schooling your face and brows to be strong was an easy ask when he needed you.
"I know you didn't,” you affirmed all he said, “You were so brave, Keigo. You were really brave, no matter what. No matter how these fights end. You always are brave."
Keigo listens and heaves an ungodly sound at your words. 
Suddenly, he's pulling you close and crying into your chest and you meet him all the way. You lock your grasp around his shoulders gingerly at first afraid to hold too tight. Cradling his head to you and hushing him seems to work for now, since he’s able to speak again after more schooled breaths. 
But this reaction from him is far from assured; he’s afraid. Unheard. And it seems with you, he can finally air these harsh truths without outside ears listening in stopping his tongue.
"They don't care how hard it is. They don't care. They just push and push and push me, and 'm tired and it hurts!!"
All you can do is hold him.
"I know, baby,” you barely speak, “I know it does, I know it hurts..."
“It always hurts,” he sobs, “It does every time. When you saw me and you looked at me, and you asked me if it hurt, I lied because I had to. But shit, this hurts…”
Hawks’ heated hands grasp at you: the contour of your body is the altar he's kneeling at- from this very spot of your couch. He's wailing now- half in pain, half in misery of being failed over and over again and only now -in secret- ever receiving someone to listen in return. The sound barely makes noise as its buried in your middle, but it rocks you where you kneel up straight to keep him close.
You let him grieve and hold space for every bit of it. He's never once been this vulnerable with another soul in his life, you’re convinced, and he sounds just so grateful to have your hands on his. Grounding. Giving him relief he's been starving for since you first paid attention to him across that crime scene where you first met.
Once he began mimicking your pronounced breathing he finally starts to feel more calm. 
To give him air, you robbed one hand from around him in order to push back some hair from his face and check his temperature. He could actually feel how cool your hands were once he started getting color into his face from his spot at your chest. Drained and pliant, he mumbles something at your sternum, and you ask him to repeat it gently,
“Hands’re cold,” he whispers.
“Oh, m’sorry.”
“No,” he shuts his eyes. "Feels good. You feel so good. The other docs, they're just so-- clinical.. They don't- they aren't gentle. No one feels as good as you do.”
Softness seeps from the very pit of you. What you won’t give to protect this hero now. 
You see a slumped pillow at his side and think to use it as a bolster until his back spasms lessen.
"Here, babe. Let's get one of these behind you. You can lay back a bit-"
Hawks chips his chin up to you, a bat of his eyes pleading, ‘don’t go’.
It’s official: you love him.
"I won't go,” you coo down to him, “I won't make you get up. I'll be here. Right here." 
You kiss that hot, flushed forehead, and he wants to crumble again by the way you hear him swallow. 
“I-” Hawks tries to recover from his overwhelm, "...I need you..."
Your answer would never deny him, "What do you need, pretty bird."
"Need you– hold on t'me." Hawks nuzzles your neck in relief.
"I've got you. I've got you this time. You always have everyone else; now I have you."
This is the way you’d keep him, if he were all yours. After a day of things he’d rather forget, you’d replace them all with kind words and soothing touches that settle his restlessness. To his nature that never stops moving, you’d make it your mission to bring some stillness and comfort to the forefront of his burdened mind.
While you’d love for reality to keep on pause, a flash of movement at the window gave you hope rather than alarm, 
“Hey, Kei. Lookie there. You've got a little pile waiting for you~” you nod back to the patio, catching some blips of red near the unobscured vertical blinds. “Would having them back on you help? Make you feel more steady?"
Interest piqued, Hawks sounds pleasantly surprised seeing them with his own eyes. 
"Ah. Yeah."
"Wanna rinse off, too? You can; use my shower, get yourself a lil more fresh?” the offer is true and comes from you easily. Happy to offer whatever healing measures possible to him while you wipe away leftover tears from a set of perfectly golden eyes. “I can’t promise I have something that fits you super well, but let’s see what I got.”
You knew the hot water would likely sting his wound, but would also buy him more time before he's  ready to fly again and go get checked out more formally.
Still wilty, Hawks gives a comical grimace in the face.  “I’d sure hate t’bleed all over your stuff.”
“Stuff can be washed; there’s only one you.”
And at this, he finally looks back up to you like the Keigo you know and sinks at the idea, giving in to the tempting idea. He nods. Any trace of boiled over bitterness in his aura has faded to a low simmer, and has left a warm, comfortable, gorgeous-looking man to peer up at you. 
You help him up, open the door once more, and Hawks is able to stand a bit better on his own now with a wingspan full of settling feathers preening themselves into place. Once face to face, he finds his hands are still seeking out your waist, and his face furrows– unwilling to let go fully of his personal painkiller.
You still his hesitation with a mouth’s warm press to his cheek followed by a gentle kiss on the lips. His palms go lax and a moan leaves him softly.
“I'll hold you all you want when you get out,” you whisper gently to him. “No funny business, I promise. Yeah?"
As if he held any true worries. 
"Wouldn’t ever mind if you did, dove. But yeah– I’d like that."
With another lingering kiss, you do your utmost to take things as quickly as he can manage for the sake of getting him to rest quickly… but by the way Hawks eyes you from all your puttering about the apartment, he holds no urgency or rush. To the contrary, he's happy going slow and steady while he’s with you. 
His hand catches yours any chance he gets until he’s ultimately able to lay his head to rest on you at the first idle moment of the evening. Its in these, the wee morning hours, that he’s eager now to remember this as the first night you got to help him heal and not just recover.
"You sure you aren't rushing it?" the slight worry tinges your sleepy morning voice in just the next few waking hours. All you both had was a glorified nap given his late arrival.
The song of your concern obviously pleases your loving company, as the edges of Hawks’ eyes crinkle at your worry. 
"I gotta report in by six. I'll stop at my place, change before I go in, heat up something to eat. And I’ll text you when I get there."
The checklist of answers is sweet and characteristically Hawks, but you hope Keigo hasn’t checked out of your bubble yet.
"Okay. But.. take some time if you can. Come see me if you still need me."
A noticeable fondness settles across Hawks’ devilishly handsome smile, and comes over to cup your face for another coffee-masked kiss. 
"I always need you.” Thank you. For everything. "I'll see you soon." I love you.
"See you soon." I love you too.
Weeks pass with Hawks’ semi-regular visits to the apartment, holding you in the kitchen like the lovesick boy he is at heart. ‘Talking work’ he claims, when his higher ups ask him about the delays, but he’s more inclined to slack and slip into far more personal matters as he guides you over back towards the barstools and sits back on one.
A curious mind makes you question why he's pushing the limits of his absence until he pulls you in to completely become flush with him and realize he wants your attention before anyone else’s. He sinks in how you set your hands on his shoulders, smiling like a sweet dope, looking up at you while you check him over.
You know he’s tired from a day on patrol in full sun, but the faint sunburn across his cheeks doesn’t seem altogether too painful. Just needs a decent aloe blend. Still, you ask as you always do, 
“How you feelin’, pretty bird?”
And he truly answers honestly now, no bravado for handlers to scoff at or bystanders to placate:
“Better now.”
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scarletlizzard · 10 months ago
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Part 1: Get Help
Sessions Series
Pairing: psychiatrist Wanda x female reader
Tags Minors DNI: being stalked, paranoia, therapy, mentions of sex
Masterlist
Fall 2018
It was the same thing every day.
You wake up, make breakfast, and go for a run. You go to work, a normal 9-5 job downtown. After work, you would wind down by making dinner and sometimes taking a bath with a glass of wine. You go to bed around the same time every night, letting the sounds of I Love Lucy lull you to sleep.
Your routine was all but normal, though. You had a shadow.
Your daily jog was filled with turning your head, constantly aware of a presence behind you, one that you could never see. You thought it was over until one night when you were making dinner, you happened to look out the window and saw a person standing across the street. The glass of wine you were holding dropped from your hand onto the floor beneath your feet. You step back onto the glass and wince, tearing your eyes from the shapeless figure.
When you look up again, they've disappeared.
This happened for weeks until you finally gave in and told your friend one night over a bottle of wine.
"Look, this is them. They're back," you say, handing the phone to Natasha. She raises an eyebrow and looks at the blurry picture on the screen. Practically a black dot next to the bus stop a few houses down from yours.
"But why would they wait so long? It's been over a year, and.." she squints, staring at the picture. "That kind of just looks like a blob.." the woman says and sips her wine, a concerned look on her face at your frantic state.
"It's not. It's them! I-I swear I'm being followed, being watched... every where I go, it's like, I can feel them. The police won't do anything about it." You move your shaking hand away from her to gulp down the rest of your wine.
"Look, Y/N.." Natasha sighs and sets down her glass, turning her body to face yours. "I know you've been through a lot, everything that.. happened last summer. I think - maybe you should.. get some help." She tries to soften the blow of calling you crazy by resting a hand on your thigh. You only look to her with betrayed eyes.
"I'm not crazy," you speak calmly, your tone stern, but the crack in your voice only solidifies Natashas' point.
"I don't think you are, Y/N. Here.." She grabs her purse, pulling out a business card from it casually, as if she just happened to have it. You knew her better than that. "This is my friend. She's an amazing psychiatrist. Just talk to her, give it a chance."
You snatch the card away from her hands, not making eye contact with her. Natasha sighs again and stands, watching your leg bounce harder. She leans down to kiss your forehead.
"I'll call you tomorrow. I love you.." She trails off, unsure if you'd even reply.
"Love you." You mumble, pouring yourself another glass.
After she leaves, you stare at the business card in your hand, eyes settled on the name in bold lettering. You crumple the card, ball it up in your hand, and throw it across the room. It bounces off the wall with a small 'thunk'. Then you're left sitting, recalling the events of last summer.
***
Summer 2017
It was an exceptionally hot night. The air conditioner had been broke all day, leaving you sweating and fanning yourself with a magazine. Also leaving you with no choice but to leave the windows open, letting a cooler breeze flow through your quiet house.
You shot a quick text to Natasha- See you tomorrow, meet at the coffee shop near yours.
With a sigh, you rest your head on the back of the couch, listening to the voices on the TV. You get a strange feeling suddenly, your whole body covered in goosebumps, the small hairs on your arms standing straight up. You slowly open your eyes, staring straight ahead at the characters running around the screen.
"Get a grip, Y/N.." You mumble to yourself, patting your cheeks as if to wake yourself up. Maybe you just needed some sleep. Your anxiety seemed to be kicking up again. Your hands reach for the remote on the table in front of you, and you press the power button, turning the TV off.
It's then you see, in the black screen, reflecting an image not only of you but a person standing directly behind you.
***
Current Fall 2018
No, I'm NOT doing this right now.
You think to yourself, swallowing down your third glass of wine for the night. Instead, you get up to double -no, triple- check all of the locks in your house. The windows to the backyard, locked. The sliding glass backdoor, locked. The windows to the front of the house, locked. The front door, locked. The side door leading to the garage, locked. Windows in any bedrooms, locked. Your bedroom door and window, locked.
It was exhausting, but it was a routine you had been following for the past year. It kept you safe. You turn on I Love Lucy, drifting off into another nightmare with your mysterious shadow.
The morning after, you awake to your alarm and slap your hand on your loud phone to slide it off. You lay there for a moment, staring at the ceiling. The morning sun shines brightly in the room, the light warm on your skin.
I am NOT crazy...
You repeat to yourself over and over, a mantra easily spoken and believed in your mind. Breakfast was made and eaten, running shoes tied to your feet, laces double knotted, ID and cash in case of emergencies, and headphones settle snug in your ears. The first mile was fine, humming along to your music, and enjoying the cold fall. It was when you were heading back towards your house that you began to have that unsettling feeling.
Your panicked eyes look around as you jog, your head constantly turning from side to side as you look for your shadow. You find yourself reaching into your pocket, letting your hand grab onto the pepper spray you had brought with you. Only a little ways to go. It's fine.
Your pace sped up, but your shadow was creeping up closer to you. Your heart was racing. Sweat was dripping down your forehead. With your thumb gripping the spray, you suddenly turn around, spraying the shadow behind you.
"Ahhh! What the fuck!" A man screams, falling to his knees in front of you. Your heart was beating out of your chest at the sight of him, rubbing his eyes and screaming in pain. But on the sidewalk in front of him you see your emergency clip that held your cash and ID.
"Jason! Oh my god, what did you do to him?" A woman comes running up to his side, sliding her arm around him. "Are you crazy? You dropped this. He was trying to give it back to you!" She screams at you, throwing the clip in your direction. Dollar bills fly to the ground, and you back up.
"I-I'm sorry! I didn't know, I thought he was - I didn't know.." Your voice trails off as you shake your head, hands shaking. "I didn't know.." You repeat it 4 times.
"Y/N, you're lucky he didn't press charges, I can't believe you actually pepper sprayed him.." Natashas voice sounded from the phone in your hand as you recall the events from the morning.
"I know, I can't believe I did either. I feel so fucking bad about it.." you hold your head in your hand, guilt filling your gut.
"It happened. There's nothing you can do about it now. He'll be fine.. people get pepper sprayed all the time," she tries to joke, attempting to lighten the mood.
You sit up and sigh into the phone, looking around the room. The TV playing, the dusty art supplies sitting on a desk in the corner. Your eyes find and focus on the crumpled business card on the floor by the wall. As you stand, your feet carry you over, picking it up.
"I'll talk to you later, Nat," you say, letting her say goodbye before you hang up. Your hands straighten out the card, and you once again read the name in bold lettering.
The clock on the wall read 5:28 as you sat, one day after work, on a chair in the hallway near the front door. You look around the hallway that leads to a massive house. It seemed the front was used for her practice, a room on either side of the hallway. One you assumed an office, the other a room to meet with patients. The clock ticked to 5:29, and your leg began to bounce.
The door on the wall across from you opens, revealing a brown headed woman with a warm smile on her face. She was taller, a creme colored blouse and brown pants settled on her legs. Her familiar green eyes find yours, and you both let out a small, awkward chuckle.
"Y/N.." Wanda says and holds out her hand to you, watching as you stand in front of her.
Your hand reaches for hers, "Wanda.." Her hand is warm and soft in yours. You know you linger too long in her grip. She leads you into room number two, a medium-sized room with one big, comfortable looking chair and an even more comfortable looking couch. Behind her comfy chair was an extravagant looking fireplace. Bookshelves lined the walls, and as you walked inside, your fingers trail the spines of the books that sat on them. It felt comfortable and safe. The sun was beginning to set, and an orange glow filled the room. Wanda sits in a chair, a notepad, and pen in her lap. You follow suit, sitting across from her on the couch.
"So, are you sure you want to do this? I'd be more than happy to recommend you to some other, highly recommended, co-workers of mine?" Wanda says with a smile, and you can't help but blush. She just had that effect on you.
"As long as you're okay with it, I am. I trust you, and right now, I really need that.." You mumble the last part, sitting back into the couch. Wanda nods, understanding of you.
One of the last times you saw Wanda she was in your bed, giving you what still stands today, the best orgasms of your life. Natasha had thrown a Christmas party where you met. You and Wanda came alone. You both had a lot to drink, and one thing led to another. You spent the night talking and laughing, getting to know each other as you came on her fingers. After that, you saw her from time to time, over a couple of months. She let you eat her out on your couch and fucked you against the counter in your kitchen. It was the best sex you'll probably ever have. You felt more alive with her than you had in years.
But then you had to leave town for work, and by the time you came back, the two of you had lost touch. Then, a few months after, during the summer, when your shadow appeared, you cut practically everyone out of your life.
"Well then, let's get started," Wanda interrupts your train of thoughts with a click of her pen, crossing her legs. "I reviewed the file you sent over from your stay at the Bay Point Medical Center. Do you want to talk about that?" She asks, her voice as smooth as honey.
You let out a shaky sigh, playing with the zipper of the bag you held in your lap. "I've always been.. anxious, since I was a kid. Always had these uh, routines. Tie my shoes until they felt right, flick the lights 4 times before bed."
"Were you ever diagnosed or tested as a kid?"
"No, my mom didn't believe in that sort of thing."
"So you were first diagnosed with OCD and Bipolar Disorder at Bay Point." Wanda makes a note. You tap your leg 4 times.
"Yes."
"So what led you to that moment, to that night?" Her voice is so inviting. You would tell her just about anything at this point.
"I'm sure it says in the file.." You clear your throat, suddenly being unable to look her in the eyes.
"There is a version, but I'd like to hear yours." Her eyebrows raise, pen hovering over the paper of the pad.
"It was a few days after I saw my shadow," you start, Wanda has a curious look on her face.
A pause.
"Your shadow?" She asks, you nod.
"The stalker, person watching me." You reply, she nods for you to continue. "I hadn't slept in days. The police didn't believe me. There was no evidence, they said, that anyone besides me had been in the house that night. So I went to the docks, and I-I bought a gun from some junkie. I'm not proud of what I did," you say, meeting her comforting gaze.
"I'm sure. You hadn't slept in days. You were delusional - sleep deprived. No medication, no diagnosis. Under extreme stress. Given the circumstances, I'm glad no one was hurt." Wanda concurs.
"Well, maybe not physically. But when you wave a gun around at 3 in the morning down the street, maybe a little psychological damage to the family that found me," you groan and put your head in your hands.
"The report said you had left a note at your house. What did it say?" Wanda asks, and you think back to when you scribbled on a piece of paper, what you thought would be, your last words. You're quiet for a moment. Wanda can tell you won't answer that question just yet.
"How about, who did you leave it for?" She asks.
"For my shadow."
The rest of the session you had spilled about your feelings that night and talked about you OCD and Bipolar disorder. You told her about your stay at the mental hospital, and told her about your routines. You spoke to her of almost everything.
"I think this session was really productive, Y/N. You've been very open with me, and I appreciate that." Wanda stood at the front door, smiling down to you. It was dark now, the sun at set completely. "I'll see you at the same time, Thursday?"
You nod and smile back at her. "I'll see you then." You walk to your car, feeling lighter. But you also can't ignore the hair on the back of your neck rising as you drive away.
***
Summer 2017
You scream loudly as you turn to see a figure behind you. A shadow, dressed in all black. A white faceless mask covered their true face. They stand still as you back away, slowly tilting their head to the side.
"Run." A menacing whisper, a familiar tone.
You run.
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