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abandoned-ax · 4 years ago

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I’m on the team - pt 3

Pt 1 pt 2 pt 4

Summery: the first day of training camp!!

Tw!!! scratching (self harm scratching), panic attack

It’s strange, over the week the team has been super busy, practicing and studying. I helped Tsuki with Hinata and Kageyama trying to make sure they pass there exams, Iv gotten pretty close with the two, there both really fun, and watching them both struggle with classes and Tsuki scolding them is super funny. Sadly the two didn’t pass their exams and are both super upset. I remember when we were getting our test scores back i rushed to their classroom with Yams hoping to see them both super excited only to see Hinata come out pouting, and Kageyama with this super dejected look like he was super disappointed in himself for his grades. They were assured tho that they would be able to get to the training camp just a bit late!

We’re headed to the training camp, me Tsuki and yams are all sitting together, me and Tsuki on one side and yams on the seat across the isle. I’m starting to get nervous, not knowing how other teams are going to react to me being there! They don’t even know who I am, or my situation!

“Tsuki!! What if their angry! Maybe I shouldn’t have come- or-or maybe I shouldn’t have even joined, we don’t know how people are going to react!”

“It’s going to be ok (Y/N) im sure their all nice.” Yams said with this super supportive smile

“Yeah and if anyone bothers you I’ll take care of them.” Tsuki says knocking shoulders with me giving me a small smile.

“Yeah (Y/N) don’t worry! You’ve got all of us, we won’t let anything happen!” Suga says turning around, seemingly having heard me freaking out.

I sigh starting to scratch my hands a nervous habit of mine. After a minute or two Tsuki notices grabbing my hand giving me a disapproving look. He reaches down into the backpack he brought on the bus looking for something, pulling out a stress ball and hands it to me.

The rest of the bus ride me Tsuki and Yams ended up falling asleep, I guess I tired myself out with all of my stressing.

We got to Tokyo faster then I thought, the bus ride felt way to quick! But I guess that happens when you sleep, it’s like time travel.

Getting off the bus we were greeted by some guy with crazy strange rooster hair, I quickly moved to hide behind Tsuki still scared about meeting the other guys. Daichi went over to talk to rooster head while the rest of us got our bags off the bus Tanaka and Noya pushing me and Tsuki and Yams to “walk faster” and “get more excited”.

I overhear The guy Daichi is talking to saying “ your missing a few aren’t you? Wait who’s the new kid” I move closer to Tsuki hoping his tallness will hide me, “why does the new kid look so scared of me.” all I can think about is what if they’re transphobic, what if they don’t want me here, what’s going to happen when they find out. “I’ll tell you about him in a bit.” Daichi responds giving me a concerned look. Tsuki makes a comment about annoying volleyball guys while nudging me to try and get my attention, he and Yams start bickering a little bit and Noya and Tanaka are practically bouncing off the walls and it keeps me distracted.

We were pointed towards the room we’d be staying in putting our bags down and changing. I started getting more nervous, Iv never met these people before and they don’t know my situation. What if I walk on the court and someone yells at me, what if people start asking questions, what if one of them gets super angry and starts yelling at me, what if the team decides they actually side with them! What if-

“(Y/N)” it’s Tsuki and Suga, the two are standing in front of me, Suga is holding my hands and Tsuki has a hand on my back.

“Come on let’s sit down yeah,” the two move me to go sit on a windowsill I look over their shoulders and see all the guys looking at me, I don’t know why I feel so small now, I know them all, I know their not judging me, but I still feel like the piercing stare I’m getting from them is too much. I see Asahi start moving and coming to stand next to Suga on the opposite side from Tsuki.

“Hey (Y/N) I need you to breath for me ok,” he gives me a really concerned look I hadn’t even realized I was hyperventilating, taking one of my hands from Suga and putting it on his chest taking big deep breaths so that I can feel it. “In and out, in and out.” The two words being repeated like a mantra.

Once I’m breathing slightly better Tsuki starts asking questions

“are you lightheaded?”

“Kinda”

“did you eat this morning”

“no”

“why?”

“Didn’t have time.”

“Can someone go grab a granola bar or something?” I see some movement and I think it was Noya who left to go grab something for me to eat. “Are you nervous about training camp?”

“Yes” I say quietly hoping that only he can hear

“Is it because you haven’t played a real game yet.”

I shake my head, I haven’t even thought about that fact that I’m going to be playing a real game for the first time, the only people Iv played against is the team.

“Is it because your afraid people are going to be mean about your gender?”

“I- yes,”

I see everyone look around, I guess they hadn’t thought this was really that big of a deal, but for me, this isn’t something that happens normally, while they all had the door to this space opened to them, I had to hike up a mountain to just get to the door, and I’m just scared that once I get into the space that they all see as a right, is a privilege that most people like me don’t have, it isn’t a space I’m normally supposed to be in, and once you realize my situation everyone knows it.

Suga pulls on my hands making me face him. “ it’s gunna be ok (Y/N), if anyone says anything we’ll deal with it. You’ve got the team! We’re going to make sure your ok.” Suga says with a reassuring smile.

Noya quickly gets back in the room with a granola bar and a water bottle sliding in front of me to hand them both to me. “Thanks Noya” it’s a couple more minutes that I sit there catching my breath before I give everyone a nod letting them know I’m ok, everyone starts to disperse to Finnish getting ready.

Tsuki went over to his bag giving me an extra shirt he had, just like when I first stopped wearing my binder while playing. It’s a reassuring gesture. I get changed and everyone starts leaving before Tsuki grabs my hand, holding me back for a second.

“Your gunna be ok. I promise. And if you get scared or anything just let me or Suga or Daichi know and we’ll get you off the court ok?”

“Thanks Tsuki.”

Tsuki speeds up a little bit to get to yams and Daichi slows down a bit to get back to me.

“Hey I wanted to let you know before we get in there, there might be a cupule people who know your situation, mainly Kuroo the captain of Nekoma, he’s the guy from when we first show up. And I think Kenma their setter might. Him and Kuroo are close and he’s friends with hinata, and we’ll you know hinata. Other then that I’m not sure, they might have told some others but still I can’t tell you what the rest know.”

“Thanks Daichi, um did Kuroo seem chill about it when you told him?”

“Yeah, yeah definitely, I mean he was for sure surprised but, he ended up just saying ‘oh! That’s cool’ so I don’t think you have anything to worry about there.”

“Thanks Daichi.”

“Of course kid.”

We finally all get into the gym moving to get warmed up before our first game!

—————————————————————

Let’s just say we haven’t been winning much, Coach put me into Hinatas spot so Iv been playing a lot. Honestly Iv been so stressed about my gender that I didn’t have time to stress about the fact that Iv never been in a game before. Iv gotten a few good spikes in and have been blocking a bit, but I’m by no means super good! We’ve been doing lots of flying laps.

After one of our practice games with nekoma everyone was taking a break to drink some water when some guy with bleached long hair came over to me.

“Hey.” He said kind of quietly, he seemed pretty awkward like he doesn’t do this often.

“Hey?”

“Um I just wanna let you know- i mean I’m friends with hinata and he’s told me about your situation.”

“Ah I see”

“I just wanted to let you know I’m chill with it, all of us on Nekoma are, so you’ve got nothing to worry about with us.”

“Thanks. It’s uh really reassuring to hear that. I’m (Y/N)”

“Kenma.”

“It’s nice to meet you Kenma”

“So uh how long have you been playing, it’s just we did a practice game with you guys not to long again and you weren’t there.”

“Oh yeah umm I just started playing only a few weeks ago.”

“Wow really. Your pretty good for someone who’s never played before.”

“Ha thanks, but I really have my team to thank, they got me playing and have been pretty good teachers”

“I hope one of those teachers hasn’t been Hinata I’m pretty sure most of what he says to explain volleyball is sound-effects.”

“I know right! It’s like he doesn’t know words sometimes.”

“Yeah it’s really strange but you get used to it.”

“Haha I guess eventually I’ll learn to speak his strange language!”

“Yeah!” Kind of out of nowhere the guy from this morning Kuroo I think his name was wrapped an arm around Kenmas shoulders.

“Well well what do we have here! Is Kenma actually talking to someone!”

“Shut up Kuroo”

“Hi I’m Kuroo, (Y/N) right?”

“Yeah, yeah that’s me.”

“Well it’s nice to meet the newest player.” He sends me a wink, “come on Kenma our games about to start, it was nice to meet you (Y/N)!” The two walk off headed back to the court.

It’s a little bit later in the day that Hinata and Kageyama show up! Hinata taking my spot in the game, and honestly I’m grateful, this day has been exhausting.

An: hey guys! Thank you so much for reading! I hope you all liked this part!! I’m so excited to keel writing!! I take requests so if you have any please just message me!!!

#hinata shouyou #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x trans reader #haikyuu x me #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyu x reader #haikyuu!!#tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima x you #tsukishima fluff #tobio kagayama #kagayama x reader #sugawara x reader #kenma x reader #kuroo x y/n #asahi x you

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jadedxrealityw · 4 years ago

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-Never Meant To Be- Draco Malfoy x Female Reader

☼-🐍-☼

Request: What about a angsty fic with Draco where he doesn't want to reveal that he's with a Hufflepuff (even tho she's a pureblood) bc of his image, and she sees him flirting with Pansy and she decides to ignore him until he realizes that she's ignoring him, and he wants to approach but her friend is like "dude u fucked up i have to console her every five seconds" fluffy ending pls!

Kody: damn, i can’t make Pansy gay in here. Sad pog. I also added some extra odds and ends for plot. I hope you still like it anyhow! Also no voldy moldy action. before i get questions, i am indeed fully aware that Fred, George, and Cedric are older then the rest of them. I just do not care lmao.

Year: 7th

House: Hufflepuff

Possible Triggers/Warnings: cursing, angst, Draco sadly being character, Cedric being the bestest of friends, eventual fluff

☼-🐍-☼

you had always fantasized about what having a lover was like. Full of love, honesty, and trust. Who knew you would get secrecy and lies instead. You were in a secret relationship with the one and only Draco Malfoy. It had started almost a whole year ago.

yes. You both were well into graduating soon and still had to sneak around to be together. You might be wondering why right? Draco truly loved you, but he was terrified of his father. Even if you were a pureblood, you weren’t a Slytherin. So if he wanted to keep you, he’d have to hide you.

Draco set ground rules so “We don’t disappoint anyone” you wished he had worded that differently. To sum up the short list, no interacting in public or any public displays of affection. Your were his dirty little secret. You would never want to hurt his feelings, because you loved him.

so you agreed to his rule, but slowly it started to become unbearable. Seeing each other for little amounts each week was painful. Especially how when you were apart, Draco was the same old taunter he always was. You wondered if you made an effect on him at all.

you were lucky you didn’t have to bare this sorrow alone. Your best friend, Cedric Diggory had found out about your little love affair when he found Draco’s Quidditch jersey in your dorm. You eventually caved and told him and ever since Cedric loathed the Slytherin seeker.

☼-🐍-☼

“I’m starving” Cedric grumbled as he walked alongside you, scratching the back of his neck. He had early quidditch practice and had just came back from the showers to eat breakfast, while you had just woken up and were wearing your pjs still.

it was a saturday morning after students had been taking exams all week. So every Hogwarts student was in there pajamas at the moment and no one cared. “Yeah me too. After all the exams i can’t wait to graduate in a week now” you chuckle, reaching up to rub your E/c eyes.

Cedric nods “Yeah, me and Harry have been talking about moving in together after we graduate” he says, a smile forming on his face. You gasp, nudging his arm with your shoulder “That’s great! i’m happy for you, really” he enjoys your enthusiasm, but his smile fades “What?” you question.

he looks behind him before answering “What about you and Malfoy. What are your plans?” your expression drops. “Um well, we haven’t really talked about it. He has to work around his parents and all that” Cedric knew that explanation was bullshit. He didn’t believe Draco wanted to keep you around at all.

but for the sake of your heart, he sucked it up. Putting a smile he wraps an arm around your shoulders “That’s awesome Y/n. Now onwards, food awaits!” he exclaims. You break out into a fit of laughter before the both of you make your way to the great hall.

☼-🐍-☼

“Cedric!” Harry shouts as soon as both of you walk through the great hall doors. Cedric leads you over to the Gryffindor table and you take a seat next to Luna. On the right side was Cedric, Harry, Hermione, and Ron. On the right side, your side sat George, Luna, then you.

“Geez, we’re all wearing our pjs aren’t we?” Hermione pointed out and you all let out a chuckle. “Can you blame us? Exams were such a drag. I’m surprised i didn’t throw myself off the school building” Ron scoffs. “At least they are over now. I have so many naps to catch up on” Luna sighs, leaning on Georges shoulder.

suddenly, the food appeared on the table and you could hear the chorus of cheers come from students. Everyone started to pile the array of breakfast foods with haste. George managed to snatch the last serving of pudding and put it on Luna’s plate. You wondered if Draco would do that for you.

you grab some french toast and piled on a hoard of bacon on your plate. “Oh merlin. Draco Stop!” a cackle bursted through the great hall, causing your small group to turn your heads towards the noise. Sat at the Slytherin table was Pansy Parkinson and Draco Malfoy, your boyfriend. Flirting.

“What? I mean it. Your very pretty” a sharp pain came to your chest. This hasn’t happened before. Draco flirting with Pansy. He had never done this before. Why was he doing this? “Y/n?” Cedric looked up at you and reached across the table to grab your hand.

Pansy gripped Draco’s bicep, a flirty smile playing on her features. She was beautiful and everything he could ever want. She was enough. You suddenly felt sick to your stomach and pushed up from the bench. “Y/n-” “I have to use the bathroom” you said before Cedric could get a word in.

you began to walk away and out the great hall. ‘Damnit Draco. Why do you have to be like this?’ you thought as tears started to form in your eyes, rolling down your cheeks. You wipe them quickly and harshly. All you wanted was to be alone.

☼-🐍-☼

you had spent the whole breakfast crying in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom. She cried with you as well. The sound of students flooded the halls and you knew that meant your friends would be looking for you. That also meant Draco would be waiting for you.

meeting up with Draco in the astronomy tower had become like second nature, but you didn’t want to seem him. It would hurt to much cause as soon as you would look into those grey eyes the look he gave Pansy would burn into your mind a million times over.

you just couldn’t. You get up from the floor, wiping your eyes “Thanks Myrtle. Your nice to talk to” you said. The ghost girl smiles, hovering over the ground “No worries! Now i must tend to my studies!” she exclaims flying into her stall.

smiling, you walk out the bathroom and are instantly met with the sight of your friends standing in front of the entrance. George, Luna, Cedric, Harry. “What’re you guys doing out here?” you asked, tilting your head. “We we’re waiting for you so we can hang out” Cedric smiled, his arm around Harry.

“Hang out? Where? Shouldn’t we change out of our pj's?” you questioned. George shook his head “Nah, i’m taking all of you to my dorm for an unofficial pajama party. Now onwards and upwards” he grabbed Luna’s hand and skipped along with her.

“Wheres Ron and Hermione by the way?”

“Said they were busy. So probably making out somewhere”

“ah okay”

☼-🐍-☼

all of you went into the Gryffindor house and into Georges dorm passing Fred who decided to tag along because he had nothing to do today. As you all settled in George and Luna sat on the bed while Cedric, Harry, Fred, and you took the floor.

you four sat on pillows and blankets. “Now now. I have an entire stash of sugar quills!” George announced as he pulls out a box out from under his bed. He reaches in and grabs a blue one, blueberry and hands it to Luna “These aren’t tampered with right George?” you asked as he walked over to you.

“I gave one to Luna. Your safe, for now” He sent you a playful wink making you laugh. Fred grabbed an orange one, Harry a watermelon, and Cedric a Strawberry. George went over to you and you reached in without thinking. You liked all the flavors so why not. You grasp one and pull it out.

green apple. George goes back over to the bed and unwraps a pineapple flavored sugar quill. Everyone unwrapped there’s as well. You looked at the quill and it reminded you of Draco. Draco, your boyfriend. Your Slytherin boyfriend who flirted with another girl.

Snap!

you look down at your hands. You snapped the sweet in half, leaving the middle of it in small crumbles that were leaking out the package. “Woah, what did the sugar quill do to you?” Fred says, reaching over to grab it from your hands.

“Flirt with another girl, treat me like i’m some sort of stain on his life, hide me away from everyone even though all i want to do is be with him. All the time!” You sputtered out, your hand going over to your mouth. Awkward silence filled the room. A ant could be heard crawling around if you listened hard enough now.

“Y/n” Cedric spoke, sympathy was present in his tone. You felt tears welling up in your eyes again “What- What’s going on?” George spoke up, getting off the bed along with Luna. They all sat in front of you now with a look of expectancy. “I have something to tell you guys”

Cedric shook his head “You don’t have to tell them Y/n” he said “Tell us what? Cedric?” Harry looked at his boyfriend who just gave him a sympathetic smile. You took a deep breath “I had a boyfriend for almost a year now” you said, eyes widening around you. “You what!” The twins said at the same time.

they both quiet down after Cedric glared at them “It’s Draco Malfoy” you added. A smile forms on Luna’s face “I know” she spoke in her soft voice. George snaps his head in her direction “and you didn’t tell me?!” he exclaimed, her smile staying. “It wasn’t my secret to tell Georgie”

the Weasley twin just sighed and pressed a kiss to her temple, mumbling something about her always being right. “You’ve been dating Malfoy for almost a year now and kept it a secret because, why?” Harry spoke up. You exhale before answering “He’s scared of what his father would think”

Fred shook his head “More like his reputation. Wasn’t he all over Parkinson at breakfast. Word spreads at Hogwarts” he scoffs. You open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. “Y/n you have to start thinking about your future, with out Malfoy” Cedric speaks, rubbing your back with his hand.

“But-” “-But nothing Y/n. I love you like a sister and i know you love him, but he’s just using you. After graduation he’s going to throw you away because that’s who Draco Malfoy is, a user and a asshole who cares about his reputation more then what’s in front of him” Cedric was fuming with anger.

Harry wraps his arms around him, his head digging into the Hufflepuffs back. Cedric visibly calms and leans back into Harry “Sorry” he mumbles. Tears streamed down your face as Fred pulls your body next to his, wrapping his arms around you. He presses a firm kiss to your head “It’ll be okay princess”

will it though?

☼-🐍-☼

you avoided Draco Malfoy all sunday and monday. You had time to think about what you wanted and what Draco wanted. As much as you didn’t want to think about what Cedric had said, your mind did. Maybe he was right. Maybe Draco was using you for all you were worth.

As Cedric walked the halls with Fred Weasley a certain platinum blond stopped in front of him “Diggory. A word please” he spoke, with slight irritation. “What in the hell do you want Malfoy?” he snapped back. Fred had a small grin on his face.

Draco looked at Fred and eyed him up and down before looking back at Cedric “Alone” he says. Fred raises his hands up before nudging Cedrics shoulder. Fred walks down the hall, leaving the two alone, per Draco’s request. “Okay speak” the hufflepuff crossed his arms.

“Wheres Y/n? i haven’t talked to her in three days. Is she okay?” Cedric hated how worried Draco suddenly sounded now after what he did. Cedric let out a bitter laugh “You can drop the act Malfoy. We both know you could care less about Y/n. Don’t you have pug face anyway?”

Draco suddenly realized what was going on. He sighs and rubs a hand over his face “Shit. Look she was coming onto me, i was just messing around. What right do you have in our relationship anyway?” he said, clearly taking offense to his questioning. Cedric. Fucking. Snapped.

“Seriously!? Everytime you fuck up i’m there to pick up the fucking pieces! She’s so stupidly in love with you, for some reason that she ignores it and moves on everytime! She broke down in front of me on saturday because of the stupid shit you did!” Cedric was co close to punching him the face.

he took a couple deep breaths and stepped back while Draco stood frozen “Your not there because you don’t care Malfoy. I never said anything to her before because i wanted her to be happy, but i did on saturday. You will always care about reputation more than Y/n and she knows that now”

with those parting words Cedric turned on his heels and walked away. Draco blinked mindlessly before walking back as well.

☼-🐍-☼

Thursday. One day till graduation. You were holding a box full of colored tinsel that needed to be in the great hall so the planning committee could hang it up. You were passing by in a empty hallway “Need any help, love?” you stop mid step, turning to your left.

“Draco?” you slowly place the box down and look up at him. He seems nervous. He takes a step, arms reaching out for a hug but you step back instead. “Love, what you saw with Pansy i-” “You don’t have to explain Draco, i understand” you nod once. A smile grows on your face.

“Oh thank merlin. Let’s drop this off and hang out somewhere, yeah?” he asked, but you shake your head “I understand that no matter how much i want to be with you. We’re just to different. Draco, we don’t work” you spoke, about to lean down and pick up the box again when Draco grabs your arms.

“If Diggory said i don’t love you that’s the farthest from the truth. I am in love with you Y/n L/n, it’s just my father and the public eye on me. Please don’t do this i- i- can’t live without you” Draco was breaking down in front of you and it was a sight to see.

you held your composure the best you could, practically forcing yourself to not breakdown as well and hug him close to you. Instead you smile lightly and remove his hands from your arms “I don’t doubt you love me, but you should be with somebody your father approves of if his opinion matters that much to you. It’s okay Draco. It was never meant to be. Have a good life”

you bend down to pick up the box, leaving the Slytherin boy to weep alone. You could hear his quiet sobs behind you and had to bite your lip so you wouldn’t cry out as well. You had done it. You had left Draco Malfoy and in all honesty. You felt as if a part of you had been ripped out.

☼-🐍-☼

friday, graduation day. You and Luna were getting ready. You both had picked dresses to wear under your graduation robes. You chose a short black dress while Luna chose a long white sundress. After finishing up, you both made your way to the great hall.

Professor Dumbledore and Mcgonagall said there announcements and gave out a few awards. Cedric Diggory got one for quidditch, which you cheered loudly for. After those some students gave speeches. Hermione’s was very sweet and short and you enjoyed it.

after the clapping died down Mcgonagall stood up “Next student to say a few words is Draco Malfoy” the Slytherins cheered loudly for there headboy while you sunk into your seat. Draco stood up and shrugged off his robes, leaving him in a all black suit and tie. So handsome- wait. Stop Y/n.

he walked up to the front and gave the crowd a slight smile. Oh yeah, i forgot to mention that parents were aloud to attend the ceremony. No wonder he wanted to speak. He needed to impress his father. Typical. You sigh and prepare yourself for what's to come.

“Thank you Professor. When i first came to Hogwarts the only thing on my mind was my education, but i made friends along the way and found comfort in people around me like Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott, my best mates.” he points towards the two in the crowd and they stand up momentarily to wave.

you shake your head. Could this be over already? “Hogwarts has become my second home really. It’ll be hard to leave this place and not return next year to all the places i loved to visit, like the astronomy tower” your heart tugged, you couldn’t do it. Standing up from the table, you walk towards the exit.

“you might be wondering why that place is my favorite out of all the wondrous parts about Hogwarts. Well, it was where i was most happy because i-” Draco looked at his father, then his mother before continuing. “it’s where i met my love” you stopped walking as collective gasps erupted throughout the hall.

you turn slowly and look at Draco “Yes, save your shock. I Draco Malfoy am in love with Y/n L/n and i’m tired of hiding it.” what the hell was he doing? Students whispered to each other and others gave sympathetic stares at Pansy. His father looked furious.

everyone then looked towards you as Draco stepped away from the front and made his way to you. Oh no “I haven’t been a good boyfriend by hiding you away and Diggory was right. I chose my reputation over you and i shouldn’t have because in the end you were always the one that stuck around”

a cane stops him from walking and he looks up to see his father glaring at him “Draco, you will stop this nonsense and we will leave at once. You will not tarnish the Malfoy legacy over some feeble Hufflepuff girl” he spat. Draco’s eyes narrowed at his father. He lifts his hand and slips off the Malfoy ring he wore.

he dropped it on the ground, causing a metallic sound. “Fuck your legacy and your small minded bullshit. Cut me off, i don’t care. Never speak to me again, i. Don’t. Care, but you won’t talk about Y/n that way. Goodbye father” he pushed the cane away and rushed towards you.

“Draco! Get back here now!” his father shouted. Draco grabs your hand and runs out the great hall with you. You unclip your robe and watch it fly off into it reached the ground.

your friends watched you run off. George turned to Fred who had a small smile on his face “You okay Freddie?” he asked, nudging his twins shoulder. “I never had a chance with her did i?” he says, sighing deeply. George purses his lips, shaking his head.

Cedric sighed deeply, leaning back into his seat “Not bad, Malfoy”

☼-🐍-☼

you both ran out the school. It was raining, not too hard though. Suddenly Draco stops, causing you to do the same “What?” you say, the rain wetting your H/c hair. He pulls you into his chest and uses the other hand to pull you in for a kiss. It’s sweet and passionate, you wished it would last a lifetime.

as you pull away you see his platinum blond hair flatten, raindrops cascading down his face “I’ll never betray you again Y/n. If you’ll be mine again. We’ll move in together and make a legacy of our own. I promise” he says, leaning his forehead against yours.

“That’s all i ever wanted” and with that, you both kiss again.

☼-🐍-☼

Kody- served hot and fresh with extra extra cheese for all you fluff lovers. Anyways, peace.

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bi-snape · 4 years ago

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This is something I wrote on my old account @xxdxaxx I won't add a link to the original post cause I'm basically just reposting it after editing it a little bit. It's this wild thought I had in mind a long time ago.

Basically Andromeda adopts Severus in his first year. She sees this little nervous boy unsure about his place in the world and who just wants to go back to his best friend, who is a muggleborn. She automatically decides to keep him cause she can see that he isn't like the other Slytherins, and sure enough Severus gets attached to her and sees her like a mom because of how nice and caring she is.

Imagine Severus running to Andromeda anytime the mauraders bully him and cling to her for dear life. She'll whisper sweet nothings in his ear in order to calm him down and wipe away his tears. Once she graduates you best believe that Severus clung to her with tears streaming down his face as he begged her not to go, not to leave him alone in Hogwarts. Andromeda promising him that she'll write to him everyday no matter what and seeing him perk up.

Severus going to her after his fall out with Lily and begging Andromeda to forgive him for saying such an awful word, especially since she herself married a muggleborn. Andromeda quickly knowing how guilty he feels and pulls him into a hug, she knows what its like being in a house and having to act a certain way so as not to get hurt by the others. She knows how it feels to get bullied for being a blood traitor and knows what its like to be misjudged because of what house you're in. So that day is spent with Sev and Andromeda cuddling on the couch and Ted, casually draping a soft blanket over them both while smiling as he remembers doing this back in Hogwarts.

Tho before she graduated Andromeda had made plans to murder Malfoy after Severus mentions the slightest attraction towards him. Then constantly asking questions when he says he might like Rosier, she knows him well and to be honest its rather shocking to hear Sev say that but in retrospect she can sorta see why. Rosier was brave, smart, well mannered, and oddly protective when it came to those he cared about so really despite his craziness he may have been a good match.

Now what shocked her most was the way Sev ranted about Gilderoy Lockhart, despite his rants being full of hatred towards the man she knew he held some attraction towards him. Honestly it ain't hard to miss when Sev says and I quote "I hate his goddamn gorgeous hair!! Filthy bastard!" and she takes great pleasure in teasing him about it too. Hell she even has it recorded and threatens him with it. Ted would tease him to but at least he knew when to stop, because he knows Sev is good with magic and can end him (plus his wife has threatened him about teasing her child and by god will he disobey her)

Severus hates the teasing and would go and hang out with Ted seeing as he wouldn't do it as much as she would. It warmed Andromeda's heart seeing her two favorite boys spend time together and nothing made her happier. When it came to Severus's graduation Andromeda and Ted had attend and they both cried seeing as Sev was basically their kid no matter what. That day was a day Sev wouldn't forget seeing as he had to deal with Andromeda constant whines of how her baby boy was growing up! TED HOW DO WE KEEP HIM FROM GROWING UP THIS ISN'T FAIR!!!!

Ted had to comfort his wife while she clung to Severus the same way he did upon her graduation. Of course aside from how proud of him she was both her and Ted weren't pleased with the fact that he joined the death eaters (love struck fool is what Andromeda had concluded for why he joined). Ted had to keep her from going over to the Malfoy Manor and kill Lucius for corrupting her baby boy.

Luckily for them she didn't bother to try and kill Evan Rosier (solely cause she knows Sev would be upset at her if she did, he really liked him). Eventually Andromeda annouces that she is pregnant and Ted is beyond happy but Sev is unsure how to feel (he's a mama's boy, he jealous) Once she starts to show Sev would poke her stomach which both Andromeda and Ted found amusing. The day that she was to give birth was rather eventful, her and Sev had been folding laundry when her water broke which made him faint.

After getting to the hospital with an unconscious Severus and contacting her husband she had finally given birth to that of Nymphadora Tonks. Both her and Ted had been immensely happy although Ted had been crying the entire time that both Andromeda and Severus wanted to hex him. When they went home Andromeda had finally gotten Severus to hold Nymphadora and when she was placed in his arms he froze up in fear.

He didn't want to accidentally hurt her and cause Andromeda & Ted to hate him. Soon after that day Severus had begun to visit them less due to being a death eater and not wanting them to get hurt. Yet one day he came to visit and his face was covered in dried up tears, his eyes red and puffy. His heart breaking as he told Andromeda and Ted about the death of Evan Rosier, the boy who captured the sun in his hair and held the sky in eyes. It took Andromeda several days to get Severus to stop crying and a couple more to get him to eat.

As days passed with Severus still visiting less Andromeda had gone back to Hogwarts to see him and inform him about the death of Ted. When she saw Sev all she could do was pull him into a hug and cry her heart out, a few minutes later she had regained enough strength and soon told Severus which caused him to break down and cry alongside Andromeda who still had her arms wrapped around him. Time came and went with Severus no longer visiting, until one faithful night when he came barging into her home sobbing.

She knew exactly why her boy was so heart broken, she had just read the paper that stated the death of Lily Evans and James Potter. She held him until he fell asleep in her arms and took him home. After that Sev barely left Hogwarts only to visit the Malfoy's seeing as Lucius was a death eater himself Sev didn't have to worry much but when it came to Draco he tried his best to protect him. As life goes on Sev and Andromeda continue to write to eachother.

The both of them had saved every letter and would read them when they got lonely. Andromeda had promised Severus that she wouldn't tell Nymphadora about him due to fear that she might get hurt because everyone who seems to know about him ended up dead. Sad to say it wasn't long before Andromeda received news about the death of her daughter and her son-in-law Remus that had prompted Severus to go see her and stay a few nights to keep her safe. As the war continued and Andromeda sat safely in her home with her grandson in her arms she received a letter which shattered her world completely.

Why? because that letter stated that her boy, her precious shy little boy, that same boy who was scared of the world, that boy who'd come crying to her and seeking comfort after being bullied, that boy who would shyly ask her to read to him when they were alone, that same boy who managed to best every slytherin in his exams, that boy who she had claimed as hers upon seeing him, her brave boy Severus Snape was dead.

She didn't know what to do, she sat there reading the letter over and over in hopes that it wasn't true. Yet once she realized that her boy was dead she broke down and cried till her eyes had no more tears shed. She lost everyone she loved and cared for, well all except her grandson and she prayed to Merlin that no one would take him away from her.

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dmc-tings · 4 years ago

Text

DMC Gang Teaching their s/o how to drive

Dante

Uh, yeah he knows how to drive

But... he's not the best teacher

Usually ends up asleep in the back

Cause he trusts you to figure it out

One day though, damn near changed his life

You smashed into a newspaper stand

The impact woke him from his nap

You were holding on to the steering wheel for dear life

Tears welled up in your eyes and he immediately pulled you into his lap

Kicking the door open, hauling both of you out of Morrison's now wrecked car

Dante was more concerned about you

You still hadn't said anything, just letting tears fall down your face

He checked you over, he was silent as well

Pissed at himself for letting his negligence, almost get you killed

The cops showed up, after a kind soul called them

An ambulance got to the scene and checked the pair of you over

While the paramedics looked you over, Dante called Vergil and Nero

The pair made it to the scene in Nico's van

But it wasn't just the two of them, the whole crew came

Kyrie and Lady rushed to your side, Lady shoving the paramedics and cops away from you

Kyrie got you talking, letting you weep onto her shoulder

Dante got a scolding from Vergil and Trish

Something along the lines of, "How could you be so wreckless." And "You knew that was dangerous, Dante."

He wasn't listening tho, he watched you cry into Kyrie's arms, while Lady rubbed your back comfortingly

Once the scene cleared out, it was just you and the crew

Oh! And a confused and angry Morrison

"How the hell.... Dante, you know your paying for this."

Your half-devil finally made his way to you, for once (and during this whole thing) speechless

His head hung, he didn't need Vergil, Trish or Lady to scold him

He was beating himself up over this

You looked up from Kyrie and Lady, throwing yourself into his arms

Crying out "I'm sorry's" and "I should have been more careful's"

He shushed you, burying his face in your shoulder, "Im sorry. I should have been paying more attention."

He silently cried into your neck

After that day, Dante took more care in paying more attention to your driving

Once you got your license though, he still took naps

Or so you thought

The devil man would only be resting

Peeking at you every so often

Vergil

You stood awkwardly in the archway of your shared bedroom

Vergil giving you a (visibly) shocked look

You wanted him to what?

"Verg? Did you hear me?" You shuffled your feet abit, again

He blinked at you

Dumbfounded, flabbergasted, and down right appalled

"You.. You want me to..."

You looked away, abit ashamed

But to your defense, you could and had always walked everywhere in Red Grave

You really didn't need to drive, unless you went to the beach or somewhere out of town

But.... Vergil didn't know how to drive either, he had spent the last 20 something years in hell

And the last thing he thought he would ever be asked to do or teach was FUCKING DRIVE

He shook his head, not saying anything to you

You bit your lip and looked away from him

You misunderstood his head shaking

Then his face flushed, letting out a grumble

"I dont know how to drive."

And in his defense, he just teleports or opens a portal to where he wants to go

You straightened up, "Wh-what?"

Great, you were back at square one

Vergil gave a small cough, "Why do you need to learn how to drive?"

You looked at your feet, "I just wanted to learn..."

In all honesty, Nero had teased you about being an adult, and not knowing how to drive

It made you feel low

Vergil gave a huff, noticing your hesitation

"Who." He stood up

You looked at him, "Ver-"

"Was it Dante? No... he barely knows how to drive..." his eyes flashed

You grabbed his arm, but it didn't stop him

He slashed open a portal, right into the shop

"Who teased (him/her)." It wasn't a question, a demand for the person who insulted his sweetheart

"Vergil. Please stop..."

Everyone in the shop looked at Nero, who had his headphones in

Vergil let out a growl and pushed you behind him

"Teach them how to drive!" He snarled, slicing the headphones off of his son's head

Nero shot up and got ready to fight back, but stopped when he realized what was happening

"Uh... sure... i-"

"Both of us."

Dante burst onto laughter, realizing what Vergil was getting at

Nero looked at Nico, "uh... can we-"

"Oh hell nah!"

At a loss Nero looked at you and his dad

"Well.... uh... i-"

Vergil scoffed, throwing a few summoned swords at his cackling brother

Then he pulled you close, "Tease them about not knowing how to drive again, and you'll feel my wrath."

He took you back home

After setting you on your feet and giving you a kiss on the forehead, he returned to his reading

"So..."

"You have me. No need to drive."

And that was the end of that

Nero

Nero sat in the van in the driver's seat

You in his lap

You insisted that he sit in the passenger seat

But the part-devil placed you in his lap

Now he was scratching his head

"Nero?" You looked at him with big puppy dog eyes

He looked down at you, "Yeah?"

"Do you know what your do-"

Nero waved his gauntlet clad hand

"Of course, I got this."

He, poorly, started to explain the gears, buttons and switches in front of you

"Aight. So. You got the gear shift, I think it's a stick. And the... uh... windshield wipers. And the lights in front, and the brights..."

'Oof,' you thought, 'I could have just asked Dante... and got just about the same experience.'

You drummed your fingertips on the steering wheel

Finally, tired of your boyfriend droning on, you turned the key and started the van

Nero jumped, then patted you on the head, pointing at the 3 pedals at your guys feet

"Well since your in my lap, I'll work the pedals. Just tell me when to speed up and slow down. Ok?"

You nodded, "Alright! Nice and slow though."

From here, using team work, you and Nero made your way around the block

Slow and steady

Then Nero hit the breaks a bit too hard

You nailing your forehead on the steering wheel

"Shit! Nero!" You leaned back rubbing your sore head

"S-sorry! There was a old lady crossing the street..." he mumbled

Then leaned forward a bit, examining your forehead

He sucked his teeth, "Shiiiiit. That looks bad babe...."

"No shit." You barked

You felt your boyfriend flinch at your tone

After the pain passed you patted him on the arm, that was wrapped around you

"Its ok. Good thing you stopped though." You pointed at the old lady still trying to cross the street

Nero nodded, grunting with agreement

"I... I think thats enough driving for the day."

Nero gave another nod, letting you crawl into the passenger seat

He made way back to the garage/shop

Once parked he looked at you

And you gave him a smile

"Thanks. That was pretty fun!"

Nero gave a small laugh, "I suppose it was, save for you bashing your skull on the wheel."

You huffed, poking out your lip, "Not entirely my fault."

(Yes, I include him, cause some people like him. And personally I like his character as well)

You and V were cuddling in the living room of your apartment

You leaned into his chest, watching tv, as he read from his book and gently running a hand through your hair

"V." You spoke lifting your head

He gave an acknowledging hum, looking to you from his book

"Can you teach me how to drive?"

He looked at you, his mind drawing a blank

As Vergil, he never drove, hell they barely walked

"Love, I've never driven.... Ever." He told you gently

You looked forward at his chest, searching your mind, trying to figure out who you could ask to teach you how to drive

V cocked his head at you, wondering what was going through your mind

You looked up, eyes shining, "we could learn together! There's plenty of books on driving!"

V's eyes lit up as well, your excitement fueling his

"Oh? Where to we begin then?"

You both sat up, you grabbing your phone and V sitting up with you

"Well the DMV would be a good start. They can give us all the info to study."

"There's a written test?" V asked, he knew he could pass that

You nodded, not looking up from your phone"Yes. And there is a driving segment as well."

V froze and looked down at you, but seeing you so excited, he didn't want to ruin your fun

Later you both got everything from the DMV

And at V's insistence, the library as well

You both spent weeks reading and learning

Even convincing Nico to let you practice and take the driving part of the test, using her van

Eventually when it was time for the tests, you both where prepared

You passed them with flying colors

Ignoring the dangerous tips Nico gave you

When it was V's turn, he passed the written exam

But hesitated when it was time to get into the van

He stood at the driver's door, hand on it

You walked to his side, gently putting your hand in his

"V? You can do it. Just don't think too hard about it."

He looked at you to speak, but you cut him off, sealing his lips with a kiss

Happy, he climbed in

You sat alone in the DMV, anxious

He came back with the instructor minutes later, beaming proudly

"You were correct, my dear. I didn't overthink."

He pulled you into a hug, after you both got your licenses

#dante devil may cry #vergil devil may cry #nero devil may cry #v devil may cry #lady devil may cry #trish devil may cry #nico devil may cry

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shadow-assassin-blix · 4 years ago

Text

Stitches

Benny Miller x reader/you

Continuing the Shawn Mendes Song Fic. Santiago is next and then I’ll be moving onto another band/theme. Uh. Some fights. Nothing really too extreme here. Enjoy.

Everything Tag: @mikeisthricedeceased

I thought that I've been hurt before

But no one's ever left me quite this sore

Benny was watching an MMA tournament, checking out his competition for his tournament next month. Will was there with him, watching the matches with his keen eyes. Benny was… easily distracted to say the least. He smiled flirtatiously at many women who passed by him. At one point he noticed a group of women, standing off to the side. Most of them had a guy with them, all except one.

As he looked at her, he could tell she looked extremely bored. She had her arms crossed; her foot was tapping. She kept checking her phone for either the time or something to give her an escape.

After a moment, a guy joined her, handing her a clear solo cup of beer. She smiled tensely at him and would duck under his arm anytime he tried to wrap it around her. She eventually, handed the drink to one of her girlfriends, and said something to excuse herself. He watched as she walked over to the concession stand. That was when he decided to make his move.

Your words cut deeper than a knife

Now I need someone to breathe me back to life

You were idly standing by the concession stand, pretending to look over the menu. You were not thrilled to be there, and just wanted to leave as soon as possible.

While you were standing there, a guy stood nearby you. You glanced at him from the corner of your eye. You noticed he was pretty handsome. Brown hair, blue eyes, a light amount of scruff, and well built.

“Having a hard time deciding what to get?” You hear him ask, as he stepped a little closer, so you could hear him.

“Oh yeah. So hard to chose between popcorn, a corndog, or a hotdog. What would you recommend?” You asked, chuckling at the situation.

“Uhh. Nothing from here. I would recommend only eating this food, if you had a lot of liquor and no taste buds left,” He joked scratching the back of his head.

You crinkled your nose in slight disgust.

“I’m Benny. What’s your name?” He asked.

You tell him yours and he smiled brightly.

“So. Don’t take this the wrong way, but this doesn’t seem to be your scene? Or rather… you don’t look thrilled to be here,” He gently probed, wanting to know.

Just like a moth drawn to a flame

Oh, you lured me in I couldn't sense the pain

“Oh. Um. Blind date. I hate it. Him. He’s rather touchy, and he’s just boring. My friends thought this was a good idea. After my ex broke up with me because I “wasn’t there enough.” I’m a med student. Sorry my life doesn’t revolve around you,” She informed him with an eyeroll.

“Oh? Med student? Nice. Good to know,” He teased.

“How is that good to know?” She questioned, staring at him confused.

“I’m a fighter. Uh. I have a tournament next month. So, I’m here with my brother to check out my competition. It’s nice to know a pretty doctor is all,” Benny tells her, feeling slightly awkward, thinking he overstepped.

She shook her head with a small smile, thinking he was cute.

“A fighter eh? You any good?” She asked him, biting her lip.

“Come to my tournament next month. You’ll see. Maybe I can…take you to dinner after?” Benny asked charmingly.

She smiled, looking down. She looked over at her group of friends who were apparently waiting on her. She pulled out her phone, quickly unlocking it.

“Put your number in, and text me the details,” She requested.

Benny gave her a 1000-watt smile, as he input his number, sending a text to himself, and saving himself as a contact.

He felt his phone buzz as he received the messaged.

“I’ll see ya then,” Benny stated, pressing a kiss to her cheek quickly.

He ran back over to his brother and looked back to see her still standing where he left her. Her hand was gently touching where he kissed her, and he could see her smiling softly.

Will simply rolled his eyes and shook his head at him.

Your bitter heart cold to the touch

Now I'm gonna reap what I sow

It had been a week since that day, and you were nervous as you stared at your phone. You wanted to talk to Benny again. You didn’t want to wait a month. You opened up the chat he created, laughing at the name he gave himself.

“Hot Stuff”

You sent him a message simply saying ‘hi.’

Seconds later you got a response. ‘hey! How are you?’

‘I’m well. I... hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time? I just wanted to talk to you again’

‘Oh really? How did the rest of your date go with Mr. Boring?’

‘It didn’t. I ran when he went to the bathroom. He apparently thinks it was a magical date. I told him I wasn’t ready for anything more.’

‘lol. Poor guy. Shame he couldn’t see that you hated it. His loss is my gain tho’

‘Oh. Is that so? What did you gain, besides someone to tend to your wounds?’

‘A beautiful girlfriend? If you’re interested?’

She paused at that. She could feel her face warm up a bit. She bit her lip as she typed out her response.

‘Wouldn’t that imply you have to take me on a few dates before receiving that title?’

‘What are you doing for the next 3 weekends up till my fight?’

She laughed at that before typing out a response.

I'm left seeing red on my own

Got a feeling that I'm going under

The month passed by quickly. Benny had taken you out every weekend: movies, lunch/dinner, walks around the park. He made every date feel relaxed and easy. You didn’t feel like you had to be on guard or put on a façade. He made you forget about all about your dumb ex and was very supportive of your learning.

One date, he actually helped you create flashcards and study for an upcoming exam. Something Brian would never do. He always felt that the attention should be 100% on him, and to hell with your education.

Benny even made copies of your study notes, so he could quiz you randomly throughout the day. Something you appreciated greatly, because it kept the info fresh in her mind. When the exam day came around, Benny sent you flowers and candy wishing you luck. About 2 hours later, you were turning the test in online, which automatically gave you a score. 100%.

You immediately called Benny, excited, “Benny! I aced it! Thank you so much for your help!”

“Congrats baby! I knew you would ace it! Shall we… celebrate? I’ll bring over food, and we can watch movies?” He offered somewhat shyly.

“Yes! I would love that! But wait… Weren’t you supposed to hang out with your brother and friends tonight?” You asked thinking back to a previous conversation.

“I could cancel with them, it’s not a big deal,” Benny said nonchalantly.

“No. Don’t do that. They are your family. How about we celebrate after your fight on Saturday?” You countered, not wanting him to change his plans just for you.

“Alright. If you’re sure?” He asked wanting to confirm.

“I’m sure. Bye babe,” You tell him as you hang up.

“Bye!” He chirped.

But I know that I'll make it out alive

If I quit calling you my lover

Saturday rolled around fast, and after a rush of getting your badge that gave you VIP access, you were searching for someone familiar. As you were searching, a blonde man appeared before you.

“Hey Doc. I’m Will. C’mon. Benny wants to see you, seems to think you’ll bring him good luck,” Will’s voice was slightly deeper and raspier than Benny’s.

As you looked at him, you could see the resemblance between the two of them. You followed him toward the back, where the locker rooms were located. He led you down a hallway and to a room about midway. Benny was in the middle of bandaging his hands, rather poorly.

“Stop. I have no idea what you’re doing but stop,” You command moving forward.

You grabbed the bandages, undoing his work.

“No wonder you keep busting your hands. Who taught you how to wrap?” You asked him as you wrapped them properly.

You heard several chuckles.

“We keep telling him, but he refuses to listen,” Came a deep voice to your right.

You glance at the man, one of two Latino men who stood nearby. The one who talked was the kind who looked painfully handsome and knew it. The other, who wore a cap, looked sweet and was shaking his head at the scene he was seeing.

“You’re legit the only person he’s ever let touch those wraps. Us? The men he spent years in the army with? Oh no. We know nothing,” He teased, lightly shoving Benny.

“You should listen to them more often. They were correct,” You lightly admonished as you finished wrapping both of his hands.

“Hey, you’re supposed to be on my side!” Benny exclaimed, as he tested his hands, making fists.

“Says who?” You asked him teasingly. “So, who is on the lineup?”

Will handed you the list of fighters that were supposed to be there. As you looked at the list, you noticed the first fight Benny had was against Brian Holden… Your ex.

You snorted. Loudly.

Move on

Needle and the thread

“What? What’s so funny?” Benny asked watching her reaction.

“Just... do me a favor. Your first fight? Make sure you not only win, but make sure it hurts,” She requested handing the list back to Will.

He glanced at the list and chuckled when he recognized the name. The match was in a few minutes and he had a feeling he was going to enjoy it.

Gotta get you outta my head

Gonna wind up dead

They walked out and as Benny was announced, you and the guys made your way to your seats upfront. Benny got in the cage with your ex and you were snickering.

Will leaned over as the fight began, and stated, “He really likes you, you know?”

You turned to face with a smile, “I like him a lot too. He makes me very happy.”

“He… he falls pretty hard, pretty fast. Do me a favor? Don’t break his heart, yeah?” Will requested.

“I don’t plan too,” You assured him, turning your attention back to the match, to cheer Benny on.

“WHOOOO! GO BENNY!” You cheered as Benny landed several hits onto Brian.

“They don’t allow chairs, or anything do they?” You asked all of three of them.

The three of them laughed, before Frankie, as you found out, “No. It’s not wrestling. It’s MMA, there is a bit more class here.”

“Damn. Oh well,” You said, in mock disappointment.

The fight took about 15 minutes and Benny came out on top. As Benny stepped out, he walked over to them and you hugged him in congrats.

“You did great!” You tell him.

You looked him over really quickly and noticed he had a busted lip.

“Ooh. Ouch. Does that hurt?” You ask him, digging into your bag.

He goes to answer but stopped when he watches you pull out a small med-bag.

“You.. came prepared I see?” Benny noted with a smile.

“Just… some small things. Is that weird?” You asked concerned.

“No. No it’s not weird. Let’s get to the locker room and you can tend to me,” Benny tells her appreciating the gesture.

You watch me bleed until I can't breathe

I'm shaking, falling onto my knees (falling on my knees)

A couple hours later, and few more scrapes, the tournament was over. Benny came in first and was super happy. The five of you made your way to a local bar, and order food and drinks.

“So. What do ya think of my fighting skills now?” Benny asked taking a drink of beer, basking in his win.

“Mh. You’re good. Could be better,” You teased, hiding your smile in your drink.

“OhHo! What?” Benny exclaimed pulling you to him, his hands running up your sides, tickling you.

You laughed loudly, as you squirmed away.

“Brian used to make me watch all sorts of MMA tournaments. Said it helped him get in the zone or something. I always thought it was kind of boring to be honest,” You admitted once he finally stopped.

“And now?” Benny prompted.

“I… could find a reason or two to find it enjoyable… So long as I’m not patching you up every time you forget to dodge or block a very obvious punch,” You stated with a raised eyebrow.

The guys laughed at that and as Benny dramatically clutched at his heart.

As they talked, someone strolled up next to you.

“Thought you hated fighting?” Came the somewhat nasally voice of your ex, Brian.

“No. I thought it was boring because you never bothered to explain anything. Plus. You always felt the need to interrupt my study time with a match that I just ‘had to watch.’ There’s a difference,” You replied annoyed, not even bothering to look at him.

“Don’t be a bitch. So, what you are with this asshole now?” Brian questioned, grabbing you and making you turn.

You moved to shove his hand off of you, but Will got in between you two, shoving him away. Benny also, moved to place you behind him.

“Get out. You put your hands on her again, and a busted nose will be the least of your concerns,” Will threatened.

Brian turned, acting like he was going to leave before, he swiftly turned back throwing a punch. Will dodged easily. All four of them were gearing up for a throw down but you were sick of it already.

You reached into your medical bag and pulled out your scalpel.

“BRIAN!” You shouted his name to get his attention.

He turned to you and paused when he saw the knife in your hand.

“As you very well know, I am very good with this small sharp object. Get away from me now. Stay away from me. Or I will CUT you,” You warned him brandishing it to him.

He stared at you for a moment before quickly moving away, tripping over a chair as he did so.

You put the knife back into your bag, and all four of the guys stared at you.

“What?” You asked innocently.

Benny reacted first, with loud laughter. “That… that was hot. Terrifying. But hot.”

The others shook their heads and retook their seats.

“Appears, your girl doesn’t need a knight Benny. She can handle herself quite well,” Santi remarked.

“Yeah. She’s more of a knight than you are,” Frankie teased.

“Oh yeah. What does that make me then?” Benny demanded as he pressed a kiss to your face, wrapping his arms around you.

You looked at the guys, and they you, all four of you stating at the same time, “Jester.”

You all laughed at Benny’s pout, and you pressed a kiss to his lips.

“But a very cute Jester,” You try to placate.

“That sounds too similar to “very cute moose,”” He said suspiciously.

“You… remember that line from Princess Diaries 2? Really?” You asked with a giggle.

“It was the funniest part of the movie,” He mumbled looking away.

“Wait… You got him to watch what now?” Santi asked.

The rest of the evening was spent talking about some of your previous dates, while the guys told you funny stories.

You enjoyed the evening and looked forward to more dates and nights out with all of them. Benny came into your life unexpectantly but you wouldn’t trade him for the world.

And now that I'm without your kisses (without you)

I'll be needing stitches (and I'll be needing stitches)

Tripping over myself

Aching, begging you to come help (begging baby please)

#benny miller #benny miller x reader #Triple Frontier #song fic

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chil2de · 3 years ago

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Oh take as long as you need love, hope you were able to get the furniture you wanted and that the remodelling’s going well, love you - 🥰

i will sell you my entire soul, a kidney or literally a lung for ur forgiveness because i’ve been mia for ages LMFAOO

i’ll talk about myself afterwards!!! i heard about your exams baby, i’m so fucking happy that you passed! i had a premonition since the start and i knew you had it in you :D believe me when i say i started grinning, u better have celebrated and treated urself to some nice things!!!!!!!

congrats on the reread! i have to give major kudos in the first place that you even had the patience to go through with it in the first place, no because seriously that’s genuine dedication it’s mindblowing. like. you would sit there and read through all my old works?🥺🥺 ur my no.1 contender of giving me heart problems istgggg

i’m totally fine if you wanna keep sending asks instead, i genuinely don’t mind and i’d prefer for you to be comfortable. so whatever you do end up choosing, i’ll support it regardless!

it’s been a while so maybe you read up on the jjk manga? mayhaps? lemme know, cause i’m interested to hear about it! i swear jjk came back as well, i saw some of the recent chapters briefly

the jjk shirts sold out super fast but i managed to grab a white one with four panels of the curses on em, the one with jougo, m*hito sukuna and someone else who is probably not of importance if i can’t remember their name LMAO— it’s nice!! the material is 100% cotton so its one of those stiff-er(?) shirts, 10/10 would recommend for you to get one the next time they’re in stock again

i remember very faintly how i said i’d recommend you some anime LMFAO excuse me it’s 5am as i write this but i was extremely hellbent on getting back to you before sleep <3 dont wanna worry ya

you should totally check out oregairu whenever you can, or maybe violet evergarden? they’re not similar in any way shape or form to gintama, jjk, hq etc but.. they hold a special place in my heart ;; i suck at explaining without accidentally spoiling things or rambling for ages so check out the blurb for them whenever you can ! plus the animation in ve is absolutely stunning

and yeah, i’m from england! i get you completely djghdhg it’s just because most fic writers are american so at a certain point i just wired it into my brain, then whenever i meet someone who’s from england i just get so excited it’s like ?? wow?? you know what anime is? i hope that doesn’t sound rude LMAO it’s just how i said before that the lack of anything anime related here is horrid. esp waterstones, like you said. god that’s awful. i recently caught up on the haikyuu manga online but i wanna support the author by buying the volumes and they’re literally sold out or sold in strange numbers </3

aside from that, how have you been?? taking care of yourself? happy september, btw! it’s basically autumn now, an absolute shocker of a fact but i’m trying my first ever psl whenever starbucks releases them here~

tysm as per usual for your kind complimentsss AAAA u have no right!! absolutely no right to make me blush. genuinely a crime, you should be locked away and kept under supervision :<<< thank youuuu you are the sweetest angel to walk this earthhh~

i’m starting to slowly try to ease myself back into writing for gintama lmaoo, it’s a slow process but i’ll get there eventually!! just gotta wait for my hyperfixations to shift, is all

as for me, the remodelling’s going pretty good! i’ve picked up most of the things i’ve needed like paint, new led strips and bed sheets. i made a grave mistake of buying a mirror from ebay and it smashed in transit LGMHJJD it’s okay you can laugh cause i totally did too, so i’m going up to ikea again next week to get that plus a bed because mine broke? it just.. collapsed? also very funny i promise you it’s not tragic at all <3

thinking of covering up a wall where my pc’s going to go with manga panels, especially haikyuu and blue lock (another sports manga, it’s about football! 10/10 would recommend) because the panels are just *chefs kiss* especially... miya atsumu... damn like timeskip tsumie just hits so different idk why, plus some sneaky gintama panels to help me forget that i still haven’t watched the movie and refuse to watch it. that’s a lie, actually. i got 30 mins in before i quit cause it felt like i was going to violently sob /j

sorry if i missed anything that you said! pinky promise i read it but my brain might’ve short circuited, u definitely have permission to bully me into it if i did forget (i say this like you’re not a kind soul and you wouldn’t just remind me nicely in a soft tone LMAO)

yeah!!! they do have cutouts, they shouldn’t let me and u near them tho cause we’ll end up taking a few home LMAO

first class tickets hell yeahhhh here we go🥺🥺🥺 i call dibs on paying for the shinkansen!!! we can go to the anime district, get some cool merch! akihabara? i think? pretty sure! also does japan sell squishmallows? everyone keeps talking about them but no one sells them in the uk... i want to expand my stuffed animal collection but build a bear charges like 40 quid for no good reason (that sentence in itself was the epitome of being british)

alright that’s a goodnight from me! i hope you’re having an absolutely great day/night/ evening, if not, hope it’s tolerable instead (:

take a sip of water<3

#🥰 anon #💌.png

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theheroheart · 4 years ago

Text

New Years Meme 2020

@arqueete: “This survey is a meme that has been passed around among my friends since back in LJ days. If you want to join in, please consider yourself tagged.”

I used to journal more, and stuff like this is really nice to look back on, because I have terrible memory for life stuff or the passage of time. So here, for future me.

1. What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before? Uhhhh wear a mask to the grocery store? This was not a groundbreaking year for new experiences.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year? I didn't have any. I don't make any. I mean, sometimes I make them in the vague "I want to focus on this in the future", but I'll already have forgotten by March, like I don't really PLAN my life in such a way. I just have goals that aren't tied to specific points in time. You get there when you get there, and you choose what you want to prioritise.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No, but my brother got married, which was very exciting because he's 40 and has never had a girlfriend who he considered important enough for me to meet. (And my sister-in-law is delightful.)

4. Did anyone close to you die? My (half-)brother's dad died a few weeks ago (cancer), but I didn't really know him, so I wouldn't say he was close to me. I did spend almost a week at my brother's place to be there for him though. And honestly, I kept thinking about how my mom's dead this year, because in a way I'm glad we didn't have to deal with this year together. She already died from respitory failure, had poor impulse control and sense of safety, and I would've been CONSTANTLY worried about her.

5. What countries did you visit? I was gonna go to Malaysia (for my brother's wedding celebration), but that didn't happen. (Flatmates were gonna go to Japan.) So. Yeah. Home country all the way.

6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? A driving force to move forward in my life?

7. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? I don't think... that there is one specific day? I guess the US election? Despite me being Norwegian, it's still fairly historic.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? /stares blankly at the wall I did do some nice art pieces? I coped? I managed to have good times and make friends despite everything else.

9. What was your biggest failure? I dropped out of two classes specifically because I couldn't do remote learning and self-structured study (BECAUSE ADHD YO), even though it wasn't even that HARD subjects, which was very frustrating. It hasn't set my study plan back, thankfully, but it still felt like a waste.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Only mental. And thankfully not as bad as it could've been, but hell yeah there was some strong anxiety in there.

11. What was the best thing you bought? I've bought some great video games this year. Animal Crossing brought 250 hours of fun, Hades brought 100 hours so far. Good investments.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? // 13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Both of these are related to pandemic behavior so I think you can guess.

14. Where did most of your money go? Entertainment? Also, god, I spent so much money on theatre tickets that are now just vouchers for non-specific future performances. I'll get my money's worth eventually, but right now it's hundres of dollars worth just sitting in vouchers. OH, and, digital D&D books.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? I had tickets for Chess. Several tickets, for multiple performances. STILL HAVEN'T SEEN THIS PRODUCTION THOUGH. But they're still doing it so hopefully it will still happen.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2020? Not sure I have any specific ones, actually. No iconic music.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: Last year I was feeling very accomplished. I was challenging myself, had befriended lots of classmates, had gotten through some stuff I was quite proud of managing. This year has been... not that. But on the other hand, I'm not as exhausted from school stuff, and I'm ready to actually go places and try to do things, as opposed to just wanting a month long nap.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? General life maintainance stuff. Not just school work, but like, focus more on money sensibility and try to get on disability, go to the dentist, work with my doctor more... All of that got a little bit just... postponed indefinitely.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Uh, can't think of any notable negative behaviour. It's mostly stuff I didn't do. Like, I had some bad anxiety in the spring, but honestly I think I did an appropriate amount of worrying.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? Had my first christmas with my flatmates (whom I love very much), and had my dad over as well. It was very lovely, and socially way less draining than usual.

22. Did you fall in love in 2020? lmao I'm aromantic

23. How many one-night stands? lmao I'm asexual

24. What was your favorite TV program? There were a few this year! Good Omens, The Queen's Gambit, Julie and the Phantoms, Avenue 5. There were more I watched and enjoyed, but I think those stand out the most. Also, does Critical Role count? OH, The Baby Sitters Club! A lot of good stuff.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Nah. I don't hate a lot of people.

26. What was the best book you read? Don't think I read anything notable this year. Don't read a lot of books, I prefer to consume stories in other media.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Julie and the Phantoms. Not because the music is astounding or anything, but it was very feel-good and fun. Don't think I had a lot of new music.

28. What did you want and get? D&D campaigns? Have gotten really invested in one of them in particular, it's delightful.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? Hmmm. The only one that stands out was The Old Guard. I watch more series than films. 2 hours isn't long enough for me to get properly invested AND satisfied.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 33 and I don't know that I did anything special. I think I just chilled? Flatmates made me a nice breakfast!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Having the energy for essays/exams, probably. Just feeling like I actually had some accomplishments. OR LIKE. If Norway did like New Zealand and just wiped the virus out.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020? Pyjamas. Occasionally 'apocalypse chic'.

34. What kept you sane? My flatmates and my dad. Reliable social interaction with people I care about.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Matthew McNulty, which applies to every single year. But this year I started both a gallery website and a discord server for him, so it was a particularly good year for him. (Special mention to Paul Spera, who I finally talked to face-to-face, through Zoom, but still.) Also I'm using 'fancy' platonically.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Ha aha hah all of them, oh god. BLM, probably, though. That was when I still had the energy to get invested.

37. Who did you miss? So many people. Like, come on. I don't know that it was even specific people so much just... being in a group? Like, my choir gang?

38. Who was the best new person you met? Met a guy I ended up playing a LOT of board games with. We haven't really talked in a few months now tho. And there's a friend I didn't MEET this year, but I really connected with, who's also now my DM, which was really nice.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020: It's not necessarily new knowledge, but this year has really driven home the need for both community solidarity and governmental support/leadership.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: I'm alone in my apartment, that means I can do anything / I'm not wearing pants (alone in my apartment - Brian David Gilbert)

Summary: It's been a conflicted year, a lot has felt like it's been on stand-still, but there's still been some good things in there.

#real life maybe #2020 #personal

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midoriyaizukustan-inactive · 5 years ago

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consider this: izuku doesn’t go to aldera but instead he went to soumei and it’s iideku friends to lovers where iida supports his dream and they train together and tenya tells tensei about it and during the foursome fearsome hangout tensei starts talking about this quirkless kid who’s working hard to be a hero and piques aizawa’s interest and soaodnmxownsosks;;;; C,,,, they’re such beautiful bois I love them;;;;

SJFNKSJRSLMDKL BRO YOURE SUCH AN INTELLECTUAL I AM FUCKING SCREAMING

inko gets mido OUT of aldera bc she finds out abt the extent of the bullying nd she will Not have her boy be tortured like that under her watch

mido kinda protests at first bc he doesnt want to make it a big deal and also what if it’s not any better in another school but inko is determined to try and help him so mido lets her

SOO soumei is a fancy private school but im sure if u can pass the entrance exam with a certain score or higher u can get a scholarship which mido succeeds in doing bc he’s a smart lil bean

anyway so he comes as like a resident nerd bc he’s gotten the highest score in like years. and iida as we all know is always striving for academic excellence so when they end up in the same class he introduces himself RIGHT away like “HELLO!!! I AM IIDA TENYA!!! IT’S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOUR ACQUAINTANCE” mido screams but it’s okay iida apologizes nd mido is like “no its all good u just startled me is all” we love them

ANYWAY so iida invites him to sit w him during lunch nd like ppl r friendly towards iida but theyre not rlly friends w him?? not like super close bc he’s well Iida but also ppl r intimidated cause iida fam stuff

but mido has stars in his eyes and he thinks iida is so cool and iida is so flustered nd flattered HHH babies,,

so they become quick friends nd mido ends the first school week without anyone even asking abt his quirk bc theyre so interested in his nerdiness instead!!! so he’s a lot happier

it does come out tho eventually probably when a teacher implies smth or mido says smth self-deprecating but u know same result. ppl are still nice to mido to his surprise but they treat him like glass which he gets fed up w p quick but he’d rather this than the outright hostility

iida is still his friend tho and he still likes mido and mido is like “ok. ur my favorite person in the whole world.” and like all might is still his favorite but iida is becoming his real hero AH

mido is kinda nervous abt talking abt his dreams to be a hero but iida can just tell like from the way mido talks to him abt any and all things heroes nd how he analyzes quirks iida just knows,,and one day iida is like “u know midoriya-kun i think you’re gonna be a great hero. have u decided which hero school u wanna go to yet?” cause they were talking abt high schools before lunch started

mido YELLS but also hes so flustered bro literally doesnt know how to respond for a solid five minutes he’s just red-faced and like giddy but also like “WAHH WHERE DID THAT COME FROM IIDA-KUN” “DID I SAY SOMETHING WRONG??” “NO I- I APPRECIATE IT IM JUST- AHH” they scream. but eventually mido calms down enough to tell him ua and iida is like “OH ME TOO!!!! we can train together!!!” mido is fucking floored

anyway then like u said iida is always talking up a storm abt mido and how he admires him and thinks he’s so cool nd when iida mentions mido is gonna apply to ua, aizawa is like “oh worm?”

aizawa finds mido and after mido finishes screaming hes like “i can help train u kiddo” “AHHH- but wait im gonna train with my friend iida” “i know him he can come too” “AHHHHH” PLEASE BRO IM CRYING,,,

obv throughout all this iida and mido are pining so hard. so fucking hard it’s like painful almost but BRo. aizawa gets to deal with these fucking middle-almost-high-schoolers pussyfooting around each other and blushing at literally everything the other does and hes like “oh my god.”

HHH BUT JUST,,,THEY MAKE IT THROUGH THE ENTRANCE EXAM TOGETHER,,,IIDA GOES W MIDO TO HELP SAVE URARAKA FROM THE ZERO POINTER AND BOTH GET RESCUE POINTS THAT WAY,,,PLEASE

they have a sleepover when the results come in and both r just so excited and so happy. they stay up SO late and mido mightve kissed iida in a sleep-deprived haze but no one’s complaining

they dont rlly TALK about it tho so theyre like dating but not officially and uraraka nd tsu have to say smth like a quarter into their first year like “u guys r so close how long have u been dating” “WE’RE NOT DATING??” “midoriya you literally kissed iida good morning” “THATS JUST WHAT BROS DO?” “midoriya. no. thats kinda gay.”

please this is such a god-tier iideku concept. i am absolutely floored. i owe you my life. please i love them PLEASE this was so good,,,thank you

#THIS GOT SO LONG IM SO SORRY JKDNJKDNJK #iida tenya #midoriya izuku #soumei au #childhood friends au #iideku #c makes a word #answer

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optimiist · 4 years ago

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𝚒’𝚍 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚊𝚗 𝚎𝚢𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 ; that there is APRIL RIGGS , notorious for being ( deceitful ) and ( superficial ) , but there are times when she can be ( charismatic ) and ( strategic ) . i've heard that she could pass as a MEGAN FOX doppelganger , but i don't see it . the ( thirty-five ) year - old cis woman has been in town for ( two weeks / majority of her life ) and they are a ( socialite ) by day and murder suspect by night . they tend to spark images of swarovski crystal champagne flutes raised in the air , a 14 carat diamond ring left on the bedside table , a singed undergrad diploma , a stranger in the mirror , a stadium full of empty applause , the lethal combination of a stepford wife and stifler’s mom . you’ll know when they walk by because they always seem to be blasting feeling good by NINA SIMONE . it truly explains why they're known as THE TROPHY .

to know:

UPDATE: her full bio is here. gives more important insight into the relationship she has/had with her mother.

triggers: neglect, brief mention of statutory rape

i got very ‘poetic’ in the ‘a little further’ portion of the app and described her as a trophy in my first bullet point… so there you have it! you see, no matter what she did, she was always only praised for her appearance. just a trophy!!

she was born (in taunwick) to a very successful politician and her trophy husband. therefore, she spent much of her time alone as her mother was busy campaigning or throwing galas while her father, her mother’s trophy husband, went along for the ride.

there were very few times they spent any ‘quality time’ together – picture what i think was the first scene (one of!) in mommie dearest where joan crawford is turning her daughter’s birthday into a photo op. that was pretty much their definition of quality family time. it could be successfully argued that april’s mother figures all came in the form of nannies.

it could also be successfully argued that, unlike lionel, april is part of the daddy issues™ club. as will be very evident afhdliuwdsjn

probably also part of the mommy issues™ club aflhskd

mother riggs probs would go off about wire hangers but... u kno... not to the mommie dearest point...

what should be taken away rn is that she was literally raised to be shallow fhlakjds

she began an entitlement act rather young - there were only two people who saw through it, one of which will be sent in as a wc and the other… being harley!! bc gotta get april connected to the murders somehow!! gotta give her a reason to stay in taunwick too but!! that’s a problem for a future bullet.

there are those annoying kids who refuse to share their toys and all. and they usually grow out of it. but april… did not. elementary? demon child. junior high? demon preteen. high-school? demon teenager.

now!! on the topic of high-school!! if her age is any indication, she is not part of the class of 2000 - if i have my math right (possibly don’t, i once legit studied for a math exam and wound up still only getting a 34), she was part of the class of 2003. that being said, one year of hers did overlap with everyone else’s - she knew chastity as an acquaintance at best, although she still recognized harley as a friend!! good for her!!

that being said, chastity’s murder….. didn’t have much of an effect on her…. ya it’s v tragic….. but it’s been a week guys :\

her alibi: she was in the woods with someone…….. when pressured to say with who bc animals and trees can’t confirm that…… she was ashamed to say it was someone on the lacrosse team. she usually aimed higher :\

anyway, they all graduated and it was HER TIME TO SHINE!! it was HER TIME to USURP THE THRONE and become THAT BITCH of the school!! probably had .3 real friends, what with the exception of the one wc i plan to send in!! that... was inspired by “jenny” by studio killers… we can’t wait to send it.

did everything she perceived as the it girl stuff, what from joining those cool teams to being crowned her own prom queen to……………. sleeping with teachers. 1) alexa play “daddy issues” by the neighbourhood, 2) fire them.

fun fact tho!! she got into a hella good school. as in the ivy that is columbia. by what was….. partially her own merit…… partially her mother giving a very generous donation. have to make the family look PERFECT!!

she received an art history degree on what was….. partially her own merit…… partially sleeping with professors (see two bullets above.)but... graduation came… and what do you do with an art history degree from an ivy…

you marry rich!!!!!!!

in the perfect parallel that she did not even recognize as a parallel because she’s big dumb, she found a marginally older politician (....it’s gonna be a wc so it’s gonna depend on the player but it’s gonna be 50+ hfdlsjak wld make it older but there j aren’t enough resources!!) and was like *martha (...virginia woolf?) vc* “yes, yes. [he] will do.” *end vc*

in spite of having become marginally more introspective than she was in high-school… she still doesn’t recognize her daddy issues :\

they got married. in spite of it being beautiful and expensive and gaudy, she really didn’t feel anything?? was lowkey GLAD her parents weren’t there (and not in the angsty ‘they never show up to anything anyway :\’ way, in the ‘this is literally wasting everyone’s time’ way). their marriage started and continued as a very unfulfilling one. he, in perfect politician style, began having affairs exactly as she, in perfect april style, began having affairs. while they never directly spoke of them, they knew the other was involved with other people.

why april didn’t divorce him is an excellent question. is it out of a certain selflessness, not wanting to do any damage to his career?? is it out of selfishness, not wanting to lose that sugar daddy?? a little bit of both. probably more the latter tho!!

anyway!! her father finally divorced her mother and she was like “i’m…. gonna say i’m gonna go be a good daughter…. go comfort my mother in this trying time….. but jk i j wanna get away from my husband lmao”

again, barely knows her mother. learned various different languages so she could have fair conversations with the foreign nannies.

but….. he has a reputation to keep up!! and his wife straight-up disappearing and leaving him would be 100x worse than a divorce…. so here he comes!! to save the day!! and his reputation!!

as you can imagine, between her husband figuring out her real motive + her…. barely liking her mother, she would be inclined to return to nyc… but that’s where harley’s murder will come in!! the perfect crime!! literally!!

TL;DR:

a former It Girl™ with daddy issues, mommy issues, and a fear of commitment.

CONNECTION IDEAS:

**open to any gender unless otherwise specified

her husband (m): WILL BE BEING SENT INTO THE MAIN.

that connection based off of “jenny” (f/nb): WILL BE BEING SENT INTO THE MAIN.

various affairs: gotta have those if she’s resigned to a new life… still with her husband :\

‘friends’ from the class of 2002-2005: i think that’s the right range for when she would’ve been THAT BITCH in the high-school?? but ya!! ppl chillin w her for the clout and she was like “this is validating”

enemies from the class of 2002-2005: again, i THINK that’s the right range?? but wow. ppl she didn’t even TRY to be nice to. or ppl who j straight-up hated her. there were plenty of reasons!!

hookups / ‘dates’ from the class of 2002-2005: again with the math?? But ya!! more inclined to ‘date’ those cool folks, but apparently didn’t discriminate with her hookups if her alibi is any clue.

neighbors: up in the hills chillin right next to a very watered down political joan crawford, her trophy husband who yeet’d out of existence, and eventually her very shallow daughter and said shallow daughter’s husband who’s probs closer in age to said very watered down political joan crawford. what could go wrong!!

acquaintances of any sort from the class of 2000: gotta get them skels!!

more to come!!

FURTHER:

for a bit of a better idea:

pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/idkimnewwastaken/april/

playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1416e2ijuY3viSnzi6HjPz?si=sQmXEc5DQlSKbT2t7XZYeQ

musing tag: https://optimiist.tumblr.com/tagged/april-%7C-musings.

mini stats (to be later extended): optimiist.tumblr.com/as (also again with the font) (and notice the irony i have in my url when combining april and lionel!!)

#april !#april | intro.#taun.intro #UPDATE: same things lionel's intro tags say fhalaiedjskn

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redrebecca · 6 years ago

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Swings

A story of a relationship that started in the old community park

Warning(s): Just fluff

A/N: This took me way too long to write and i’m tired and i want to sleep, Feedback is always appreciated, have a nice day!

Words: 5k

June 14, 1999

The park was empty as your mum pushed your pushchair underneath the arch the two oak trees made at the entrance. She slumped on the park bench, relieved that you had finally stopped screaming and had turned back into the gurgling, bubbly baby you normally were. The soothing sounds of the birds chirping and the simple beauty of the nature that surrounded the local play park was enough to relax any sleep deprived mother.

However, your mum jumped, startled, as someone sat on the bench next to her.

“Oh my goodness I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you” came the worried voice from beside her. With a hand placed over her heart in attempt to calm her erratic breathing she replied

“Oh don’t worry about it, she’s kept me up all night so I’m a little out of it” she joked, gesturing to you in the pushchair, completely fascinated with a rattle that your mum had given you earlier.

“Well I’ve just had a struggle with Shawn trying to get him to eat his lunch, you should’ve seen the mess. Most of the food ended up on my top instead of going in his mouth!” The two mothers giggled, both having similar experiences with their kids.

During their conversation, Shawn had managed to shuffle close to the edge of his pushchair so he could see what you were playing with. When he noticed the bright red rattle in between your small hands, he squealed, gaining your focus. He made grabby hands towards the toy, thoroughly intrigued by the noises it made. You held the rattle out as far as your short arms would let you, finally managing to put it into the boys hands as your movements were uncoordinated and clumsy from your young age.

He let out a squeal at the noise the bright piece of plastic made when he shook it between his chubby hands. You giggled, clapping along, encouraging him to continue. Your parents watched in awe as you both ended up in fits of high pitched giggles and squeals, the occasional gurgle coming from your new friend.

When the clouds turned the sky grey and the wind grew bitter the two mothers decided to call it a day. They arranged to meet at the same time same place next week, weather dependant of course.

Little did they know what they had started.

October 25, 2002

You had pleaded and begged your mum to let you go to the park that evening. Your mum had been reluctant since you had just got back from your first day at pre-school and had thought that it would be best for you to have an early night. But no, during the day, Shawn and you had made a plan to meet at the park next to the swings and you couldn’t not go

Sure enough as you dragged your mum by the hand through the gate and under the oaks, you saw Shawn also dragging Karen. As soon as you saw his figure you had dropped your mums hand and were running as fast as your little legs would carry you.

However, you were so focused on your friend that you completely ignored the change in surface, tripping over the slightly elevated concrete slab and falling.

Instantly, you felt pain in your knees and the heels of your palms. Hot tears gathered in your eyes, before they began streaming down your reddening cheeks.

Shawn was the first to reach you, sitting down next to you and rubbing your back, just like his mother had done with him many times.

“My-my knees” you spluttered, chocked sobs leaving your lips. Shawn looked at your grazed knees then your eyes and then back at your knees before he leant down and placed a kiss on each one.

“Better?” he asked, a flicker of hope shone through the clouds of concern in his hazel eyes. He hated seeing is friend hurt and really wanted to make you feel better.

“A little bit” you managed to say between the sobs. You held up your index finger and thumb to indicate how much he had helped and offered him a watery grin, which he returned.

He held onto your hand, taking extra care not to squeeze where you had grazed.

“What have I told you about running?” Your mum said, crouching down and assessing your injuries, upon realising they were nothing that a band-aid couldn’t fix, she worked on soothing your cries. She rubbed calming circles onto your back.

“Do we need to go home?” She offered when you eventually stopped blubbering.

“No I’m fine” you said, making your voice as confident as you could as you tried to stand up. You soon realised that bending your knees hurt, a lot. Shawn quickly noticed this and stood up, taking your other and in his and carefully pulling you up to your feet.

“Sweetie if you can’t walk we can do this tomorrow instead” Karen assured you

“No mummy we only just got here” Shawn pleaded. He wanted to spend time with you, not go home. He looked around the playground for something that you could do. “Can we go on the swings? Y/N won’t have to walk” Shawn looks at Karen, who looks at your mum. She shrugs, I don’t see why not.

Once both secured in the baby swings, your parents start to push the two of you, slow at first before starting to push with more force as you and Shawn practically beg. By the end the two of you are giggling messes.

“See you at school tomorrow” Shawn says, wrapping his small arms around you.

“Bye bye Shawn” you say returning the hug before your mum tells you that you have to go.

March 2, 2012

School had been stressful today. Due dates and exam papers were piling up all of a sudden and everyone was stressed, not used to the pressure the education system was putting them under.

You somehow managed to walk to the park, wanting nothing more than to be in your bed. You opened the gate and passed under the familiar arch of the large trees, feeling more relaxed with every step you took. You didn’t know what it was but there was something about this park that made you calm, as if it removed all the weight off of your shoulders.

You saw him. He was sitting on the swing, gently pushing himself with his feet that were still planted on the ground. You walked past the baby swings (at your age there was no way you could fit in them) and perched on the swing next to Shawn.

“Hey” he smiled tiredly

“Hi” you replied, just as exhausted as him. You wrapped your arms around the chains of the swing, after all, you didn’t want to fall off.

“I don’t like school” You murmured, Shawn glanced at you, giving a nod of agreement before he looked back towards the empty field in front of him, watching the birds collect sticks for their nests.

“I hate Mrs Richardson” He replied, you stayed silent, waiting for him to explain. Surely enough a few seconds later “She gave me a detention and extra homework for forgetting my book”

“Yikes” you muttered. He let out a breathy chuckle

“Yikes? Really Y/N?” you rolled your eyes

“Sorry my head is just…” you trailed off, neither of you said anything, you had known each other long enough to know the end of that sentence, Shawn had always understood you.

You sat in comfortable silence. You both watched as a rabbit raced across from one grass verge to another. You both watched as a man walked across the field, his dog running backwards and forward in front of him. But you didn’t say anything, you didn’t need to really.

It was Shawn who cut through the silence

“Y/N?” He murmured

“Hmm” you replied, prompting him

“We’re gonna be best friends forever right?” You giggled at his request

“Didn’t you just make fun of me for saying ‘yikes’?” he laughed a little at that, nodding his head as if to say ‘fair enough’

“No but seriously, whatever happens, best friends?” He held his hand out you took it and sealed the deal with a handshake

“Best friends, no matter what”

June 26, 2014

“Bye mum!” you shouted before racing out of the front door. You quickly walked the route which at this point you were 100% certain you could walk with your eyes closed (you and Shawn had tried to test this when you were 12 but it ended up with him spraining his ankle. He swore that curb wasn’t there before). You were so excited. Shawn had released his song ‘Life of the Party’ and you were going to meet him in the park. You had even taken a minute to pick some flowers from the side of the pavement, trying your best to arrange them in some artistic way.

However when you opened the gate you noticed that your swing was pre-occupied and so was Shawn.

You backed out of the park, a horrible feeling in your chest as you began to walk home. You remembered then that your friend Hannah had told you at lunch that she had seen Shawn and Lauren together in town at the weekend, but you didn’t believe her. Why would you? You were sure that Shawn would tell you if he went on a date. But as soon as you saw them kissing on the swings, on you and Shawns swings, you let the realisation wash over you. That Shawn didn’t tell you.

You chucked the flowers over someones hedge, not really caring whos garden they were now scattered across, you just wanted to get home.

“Sweetie?” Your mum called as you solemnly trudged up the stairs towards your room, but you didn’t respond. You felt drained, and hurt – mainly hurt.

Later that night your phone pinged on your desk as you finished your physics homework.

Shawn: Hey where were you tonight? You left me allll by myself

You could tell he was trying to joke, and fair enough usually you would’ve laughed. But the text only made your heart hurt more- he wasn’t by himself, so why would he lie about it?

Sorry, I just didn’t feel good. Congrats on your song tho!

You replied, placing the phone face down on your desk. You rested your head in your hands and convinced yourself that the pain in your chest was because he lied, not anything else.

January 5, 2015

You were on the floor, back pressed against the cold metal pole of the frame of the swings. Your knees were pulled into your chest and you were sobbing your heart out. The reason? Jack, your boyfriend of 6 months had broken up with you, claiming he had feelings for someone else. You had been sat in the park kicking yourself for believing that a relationship at the age of 16 would work out. You just felt stupid, angry and distraught at the same time, and the fact that you were a hormonal teen was only adding fuel to the fire.

You were numb from head to toe. Unsure about whether it was the freezing winter wind or the overwhelming emotions that you were consumed with.

When you felt something land on your shoulders you flinched, so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t hear Shawn approach.

“Hey, it’s just me. You looked cold so I brought a blanket” He offered from behind you. After he had wrapped the soft material around you he sat down next to you.

“You’ll never guess wha-“ He cut himself off with a gasp

“Oh my god Y/N” he whispered when he noticed the tears cascading down your cheeks, finally piecing together your position you were sitting in and the way you had been unusually quiet. Without even thinking he wrapped his arms around you, engulfing you in a bear hug. His heart broke with yours as he felt your tears soak the thin material of the t-shirt he was wearing underneath his jacket. He nearly cried with you when he felt your hands clutch desperately at his top – he had never ever seen you so fragile in all of his life and he hated it with everything he was.

If it was anyone else, he would have cared about the makeup that was smeared across his shirt. But he didn’t, instead he kept rubbing soothing circles onto your back and whispering a stream of calming words into your ear. When your sobs turned into sniffles he pulled back slightly, just enough so he could look into your puffy, bloodshot eyes.

“What happened?” He whispered. You squeezed your eyes shut, willing yourself not to cry again, he wasn’t worth it you repeated over and over again. It had been at least a minute since Shawn had asked, but he knew not to push you, to give you time to gather your thoughts.

“He broke up with me, b-because he liked Ru-Ruby more” You said. Despite your best efforts, your voice came out hoarse and raw. A fresh wave of tears flowed from the corners of your eyes. You felt his padded thumbs wipe them off your cheeks. He pulled you in for yet another hug, letting you rest your head on his shoulder.

“He doesn’t deserve you. Hell, he never did, y/n you’re so funny, smart, gorgeous, charismatic and way to friendly and trusting for your own good!” He felt himself blush slightly as he realised gorgeous had slipped from his lips, but didn’t go to correct himself, after all he meant it.

“Thanks Shawn” you murmured into his shoulder, slightly flustered as no one had ever said such nice things to you.

“You remember the last time when you were crying in this park?” He said, nudging you gently.

It took you a few moments to think back

“Oh yeh! When I grazed my knee and you kissed it better” You chuckled lightly at the thought of you and little Shawn. How the two of you were often labelled ‘partners in crime’ by your families.

“Need me to kiss anything better this time?” He joked. You thanked god that he couldn’t see the blush that was creeping up your neck and spreading across your neck – you were completely oblivious, however, to the redness of his face as even he was surprised at how forward his words were.

“Nothing for you to kiss better, I’m good. I promise” You also thanked the winter wind for letting you use the excuse of its bitterness for causing the red colour of your cheeks. You managed to wiggle yourself out of his firm hold and used the bar behind you to haul yourself up.

When he stretched out his hand, you grasped it with yours and tried to tug him up. Tried. He just sat there with a smug smile on your face as he watched you pull on his arm with all the force you could muster.

“Jesus Shawn what has Karen been feeding you?” You exclaimed. You stood with your hands on your hips, blanket from earlier draped over your shoulders and obviously out of breath.

He gasped jokingly and placed a hand over his heart.

“Are you calling me.. fat?” He feigned hurt, only making you roll your eyes. This caused him to break out in laughter. You spun around and started striding towards the gate. You weren’t mad, Shawn knew that too, but you knew he would follow you (and you were really cold). Sure enough only a few seconds later, before you had even made it to the trees, he had caught up with you. He announced his arrival by wrapping an arm around your blanket-covered shoulders.

He fell into step with you as you exited the park and tucked you further into his side as he felt you shiver.

When he had made sure you got home safely (he had actually taken you into your house, not leaving without saying hi to your mum of course) he turned back and walked back to his house, which he had already passed. During this time the thought of some boy dumping you and making you upset made him angry, he knew he could’ve prevented your heartbreak but yet he had let you go on that very first date with him. He should’ve told you that it wasn’t a good idea but instead when you asked for his opinion he was so shocked all he could say was “Go for it”.

Climbing the stairs to his room he couldn’t stop thinking that he knew he could treat you better. And with that wave of inspiration he rushed to his guitar which was abandoned in the middle of his floor, grabbed a pad of paper and a biro pen from his school pencil case and got to work.

April 20, 2017

It was 1 week until Shawn was due to start his tour. 7 days was all you had left with him until you wouldn’t see him again for goodness knows how long.

No matter what way you said it, your heart physically hurt at the thought of not being able to see your best friend (who you may or may not have realized you had a crush on) for months.

He had denied his parents request of going to the shops in Pickering for a day out with his parents. He had instead insisted that he was going to spend the day with you at the park, at first Karen had found this request strange, but after Manny filled her in on how Shawn had confessed his major crush on his best friend, she actually drove him there.

So there the two of you were, in complete silence, admiring the view in front of you, blissfully content in each other’s presence.

“Wanna see who can go the highest?” You offered. He glanced at you and nodded, smiling as you started to push yourself backwards with your legs, ready to start your light-hearted competition. He took a second longer, his eyes raked your figure as you positioned yourself to get as much momentum as you possibly could to start with, he had to force himself to look away and get in position.

You waited until he seemed ready counting down before you both started to swing. You let out a laugh of pure joy, enjoying the feeling of momentary weightlessness as you soared forwards. Shawn quickly joined until you were both unable to contain your happiness.

“Jump on 3?” He shouted over the billowing sound the air made as it rushed past your ears, you hadn’t noticed but he had slowed his swing down so now you were perfectly synchronised.

“3” You replied, adjusting your grip on the metal chain

“2” he counted, shuffling forward on his seat

“1!” you shouted, timing your jump perfectly – just as your swing reached its peak height. In your peripheral, you saw Shawn’s lanky figure leap off his seat. You both landed at the same time, giggles and laughs still bursting from the two of you as you went to sit on the park bench behind the swing set.

Eventually the laughter quietened down and all that was heard was heavy breathing and the sounds of birds chirping from the oak trees. You stared ahead, never noticing until that point just how many flowers had grown in the overgrown flower beds. You admired their vibrant colours that stood out from the greens and browns of the park, usually the only colour was the chipped red paint on the swings and the faded yellow of the structure surrounding the slide.

But Shawn wasn’t admiring the flowers, he hadn’t even spared them a glance. Instead he had his gaze directed on you. He payed close attention to detail, noticing the way your eyes sparkled with happiness, seeing how radiant you looked when the clouds parted and the sun shone on your skin. He was in so deep and he knew it. It dawned on him that this was the perfect moment, he didn’t give himself time to talk himself out of it, but instead focussed on what he felt for you. He closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath.

“Y/N?” You tore your gaze away from the flowers and turned towards him, not missing the way he visibly gulped.

“You alright?” You asked. He nodded, willing himself to stay calm. There was no way he was chickening out of this.

“Ok, so I know this is completely out of the blue and it’s probably a lot for you to take in but I need to get this off my chest because the next time I come to say it, I think it’ll be too late.” You nodded. You felt your heart rate begin to pick up. You mentally kicked yourself for watching too many rom-coms and getting your hopes up.

He inhaled again “So I’m going on tour and I won’t be able to see you and I can guarantee that if when I come back you will have a boyfriend because how could you not? So I need to ask you because if I don’t I’m certain I’ll never get this chance again ok?” You nodded again, urging him on, despite half of your body screaming at you and telling you that this isn’t what you think it is.

You noticed he was fidgeting with his hands, a nervous habit he had, so you reached forward and took his in yours, rubbing your thumbs over the back of his hands. This seemed to be the push he needed. “Will you be my girlfriend Y/N?” He asked, his eyes searching yours, desperate for any sign of agreement.

You wanted to say yes. You wanted to scream yes, but instead you were suddenly filled with insecurities and doubts. One boy had found better and left, what would stop Shawn from doing the same?

“Shawn I want to be, I really, really do. But what if you find a girl who you like more, what if you find someone who is better?” Your voice faded into a whisper. Shawn’s heart cracked as he realised that he had caused all your past insecurities to resurface.

“Stop” He said, his voice barely above a whisper

“You don’t see it do you Y/N?” you didn’t move, you couldn’t, you were frozen in place

“You’re perfect. So please,” he took a deep breath “please stop telling yourself that you aren’t” His face held a pained expression that you had never seen before.

“But Jack left, who’s to say you won’t leave too?” You wiped a stray tear before it ran down your cheek. You wanted to be stronger than this, you needed to be. And as frustrating as it as for Shawn, he could understand where you were coming from.

“I’m not an ass.” Shawn said, a poor attempt to try and lighten the mood. When your sleeve covered hand moved for a second time up to wipe a tear, he sighed.

“You know ‘Treat You Better’?” You hesitated for a second before nodding at his seemingly random question.

“I wrote that for you” He saw a flicker of something in your eyes. Hoping he had witnessed a break through, a small crack in your exterior, he pushed on.

“Every word I wrote in that song, I meant. Because I know I can treat you better, because I want to and because it’s what you deserve. And I think deep down, you know that to” He had never spoken such meaningful words in his life and he didn’t regret any of it.

This was all that you needed to hear. You desperately pulled him towards you and pressed your lips against his. He couldn’t hold back the moan that he let down when he tasted how sweet you tasted, like peach iced tea he got once from Starbucks in summer. His hands gripped your waist and yours ran through his hair.

When you finally pulled back for a breath of much needed air, you couldn’t stop the beaming smile that spread across your face - and by the looks of things - neither could Shawn.

“Yes” you replied. His eyebrows furrowed and confusion was apparent in his facial features.

“Yes I’ll be your girlfriend” and before you could react, he had placed his hands on your cheeks and his lips met yours in a passionate kiss.

April 20, 2020

“Ok, now I want you to put something on for me” Shawn said whilst leaning to get something from the backseat.

For your 3 year anniversary, Shawn had a surprise planned for you. However there were pros and cons to this. Pros: Shawn had planned t so you didn’t have to do anything. Cons: surprise.

You never had been a fan of surprises, you would rather know what was happening in a situation. But did Shawn listen to your consistent begs and bribes (some which were extremely tempting).

So here you were in his car staring at the piece of material he brandished in his right hand.

“I’m not wearing that” you blurted before he even managed to explain. He held his index finger up in the air and confidently said “You will because I said so” You rolled your eyes. You turned around slightly so he would be able to cover your eyes, but gave him no verbal response, not wanting to give him the satisfaction that he had won. But of course Shawn knew what you were playing at and didn’t move a muscle.

“Just put it on Shawn” you grumbled, not happy that he had turned your tactic against you. He carefully wrapped the blindfold over your eyes, ensuring that there was no way you could see from underneath by carefully inspecting for any gaps. He knew damn well that you wouldn’t own up to being able to see out of it.

He continued the drive he knew well until he reached the parking spot. He quickly murmured a “Don’t you dare move” to you before opening his door and rushing round to the passenger side to open your door and help your sight-deprived self out of the car and safely onto the pavement.

Walking into the park he guided you carefully, making sure he notified you at even the slightest change in gradient.

Eventually he had you where he wanted you, and began to make the last minute arrangements to his plan.

“Not gonna lie Mendes but this is kinky” you announced, completely undeterred by your lack of vision in that moment. Shawn laughed at that, he shook his head at himself for even thinking that you could take this seriously.

He smoothed his clothes down and tried to calm his erratic heartbeat.

“You can take it off now” you heard. You reached behind you to untie the knot Shawn had carefully tied. When it came loose and dropped to the floor, the first thing you saw was the grassy field you had looked over for hours on end throughout your childhood, it still amazed you know as to how many memories flooded into your head from that one scene. You then noticed that Shawn wasn’t in front of you. You turned around, your lips parting in shock as you took in the freshly painted swing set, hand painted vines covered in brightly coloured flowers, just like the ones that grew in the flower beds this time of year, decorated the once paint chipped poles.

Your hands went up to cover your mouth as your eyes dropped to where Shawn was on one knee.

“Y/N” He started, a smile already on his face because of your reaction. “We’ve been together for 3 ears exactly but I’ve had the pleasure of knowing you for the most of my lfe. We’ve stuck with each other through the nappy stages, the temper tantrums, the awful haircuts and unfortunate brace faces” He gave you a pointed look, causing you to giggle from underneath your hands “And most importantly you’ve stuck by my side and supported me through my career through the ups and downs, you’ve dealt with the crazy fans and looked after me even when come home all tired and moody from the studio. I’m so lucky to say that you’ve always been in my life and I would be honoured if you let me spend the rest of our lives together.”

“Oh my god Shawn yes” You pulled him to his feet and kissed him passionately, which he eagerly reciprocated.

When you pulled away for breath you pressed your foreheads together. “I’m so glad you said yes” He whispered

“Me too” you murmured

“No seriously, my knee was hurting from kneeling and I needed to stand up” He grinned cheekily, you separated your foreheads and pushed at his chest, a loud laugh coming from him.

“You idiot, we were having a moment!” You cried, and despite your best efforts a giggle escaped you.

“We’ll have plenty of time for more moments Mrs Mendes” You smiled

“Mrs Mendes,” you said testing your future title “I love it”

“Oh thank god!” Shawn dramatically placed his tattooed hand over his heart. He quickly grabbed your hands before they could, once again, come into contact with his chest.

“Would my fiancée like to go on the swings?” He asked, smiling at you

“She would love that”

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes oneshot #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes x you #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes fic

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lamentsof-bee · 5 years ago

Text

taking scissors to pure canon - take two

i wrote this fic for @perseachase bc we couldn't believe that royai didn't end up together and we are 100% FMAB trash. always.

i’m not saying i wrote it better (but wendy might >.< (KIDDING hiroshi onogi plz don’t kill me!))

this story wrote itself and really wasn't for anyone but us but i figured if we were feeling this way, maybe someone else was too. endless pining and never-quite-fluff is always a must.

idk, shameless self indulgence as always. but y'all can read it if you want (only if you don't judge my constant change of tense tho!!! it's a MOOD ok???)

(also on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23498194)

Summary: There are plenty of ways their story could have ended. But there was only one ending that was right.

Riza Hawkeye swore to her Colonel that she would follow him into hell. He never realized that one day, he would truly need her to do so.

They had heartbreak a-plenty under their belt. And scars to prove their worth. After Ishval... after the Homonculus... after everything, didn't they deserve a softer ending?

[A story that fills in the gaps and voices the thoughts of the truest OTP to ever walk the streets of Amestris]

The first time Riza Hawkeye met Roy Mustang she had come into the kitchen through the backdoor. The estate still seemed grand back then, it was clean and her father had been esteemed and passionate enough to make a good living for his family.

Roy stood at the stove watching a pot boil.

Riza entered through the door letting the house cat she had chased in the garden escape her arms.

‘I think it’s hot.’ She said nodding at the pot in front of him.

‘Hm?’ A beat had passed. ‘Oh, yeah. Professor Hawkeye is having me look at all sources of heat so –’

‘So you’re staring at a pot of boiling water and hoping it will impart some wisdom on you?’

She had deadpanned it.

‘The secrets of alchemy are many.’ He was too distracted by his task to notice her jab, or at least that’s what she thought.

She shrugged and passed him. She didn’t know then that this person would plague her mind for the following nine years.

Their meetings from then on had been sporadic and they rarely exchanged more than a couple words. Still, Roy had become shadow she was used to in her house. She stopped being surprised to find him huddled in her father’s office reading quietly.

When her mother had passed, though, things had changed.

Professor Hawkeye became more withdrawn. The doors to his study would almost always be closed. He took all his meals at his desk and rarely made conversation with Roy, let alone Riza.

Roy had provided comfort during that time.

She liked to bug him about his slow academic progress but sometimes, when her father got too caught up in his own mind, she would sit with Roy in the kitchen and he would tell her about what he was learning.

The complicated matrices of alchemy were a welcomed distraction to the mansion that stood in shambles and the gravestone it guarded.

She had found his eyes welcoming back then. His entire being open and excitable. He’d make a snide remark, even flirt a little, and she would be reminded of what it was like to look at a real human being. Not the shell of one her father had become.

More than once she caught herself wanting to tell Roy about the secret her father had made out of her. How he spent long hours poring over her back immortalizing his work onto her skin. She wondered what Roy’s eyes would look like if he ever found out.

She shook her the idea out of her head.

Riza remembers the day he gave her his name card. A soldier working his way through the ranks. The day he said he would find a place for her if she ever felt lost. The funeral had marred the day with sadness and yet Riza remembered her heart lifting as she took what he offered her. It was nice that he had offered to organize the funeral too. God knows there was nothing left in the Hawkeye bank account but debt and disarray. It had been even nicer of him to quietly watch over her, never knowing that this had been her father’s final wish.

He hadn’t become a state alchemist at the time. And yet, when she looked at him all she saw wide eyed hunger for knowledge and change.

Roy Mustang wanted to change the world.

It had been an accident, that he let his plans slip. He shouldn’t have told her, he knew it. Wide eyes optimism seemed silly. But he got caught up in the moment and the feeling of his mentor’s bones calling out to him from the grave begging for relief had forced him to open his mouth.

She had let her secret slip then too.

The secret that her father had entrusted her with a coded Transmutation Array branded on her back. She wanted the world to be better, she realized. She wanted the world to be safer. So that no child had to grow up without a mother, and so that every kid would have someone to reach out to if their ever distant father grew more tiresome.

He had made up his mind, he was going to be a good solider. He used the knowledge she had imparted to him and began to learn.

Countless days he spent hovering over her naked back copying the symbols into his notebook, muttering to himself. His touch had always been soft and his eyes always full of wonder as he looked at the markings. Never once did he let his confusing get the better of him. And he always made sure to thank Riza for her sacrifice, for baring herself to him and trusting him.

He must have known somehow that he was all she had left. A last comfort in a comfortless world.

She made him swear to take her secrets to his grave. She didn’t understand why her father had burned his entire research before he passed but she would not be one to disobey him, even in death. If he wanted the research private, then it would remain that way. For eternity.

Now Roy tried to carry the burden with her and went to make a difference.

It took him three years to pass the State Alchemist certification exam and with it he earned the title Major. Change was long overdue.

So she went to war with him.

It turns out years of good humoured can shooting in the backyard and kicking it with the local street urchins were enough foundation for a good soldier to be built upon.

And a good solider she was. No one could ever tell Riza Hawkeye that she wasn’t committed.

She took the parts of herself that her father had shunned, the wide-eyed lost look that longed for love, and buried them deep within her. In its stead she took her rifle firmly and never missed a shot. Riza was strong now. They didn’t call her The Hawk’s Eye for nothing.

‘Life’s a whole lot easier if you’ve got someone watching your six.’ Maes Hughes had said to Roy.

He had been right. Major Hughes was often right, though Roy would never admit it. And Riza always had his back.

The things they did in Ishval…

The crimes they committed there…

It was unspeakable.

Riza will never forget the smell of burning skin and the Major’s eyes as he forced himself to watch.

No one was surprised when the troops (the ones that survived that is) came back with PTSD and fever dreams.

Riza found herself washing her hands, trying to scrape off the blood she had spilled, so often that her hands had permanent calluses and the skin was always red and dry.

The person Ishval had turned her into… that wasn’t what she joined the military for. This wasn’t what she wanted…

Looking in the mirror all she saw was a woman with sunken in cheeks, bags under her eyes and a short haircut that should have been efficient but now only reminded her if her time at war. She had only been a cadet, god damn it. Graduating from the academy with what?! A diploma and body count in the hundreds?

So young to have seen such chaos.

The alchemic secrets branded into her back felt heavier than ever.

But Riza Hawkeye was strong now.

So she grew her hair out. Never again would she look in the mirror and look like the person she had been. She ate better, forced herself to rest more. Eventually her cheeks filled out and her skin gained colour. The tiredness though, that never really passed. Not truly. The days she was plagued by nightmares, most nights really, she recounted Roy’s goals. His plan for protecting the people and the country.

Had it been foolish of her to believe him?

Could she still trust in him after watching him burn an entire country off the map? He had been following orders… and so had she…

Her thoughts were still clouded when she called on him. He picked up on the second ring, his voice rough.

‘Hello?’

‘Major Mustang…’ She hesitated, not sure how to continue or what to say. Why had she called him again?

‘Hawkeye. It’s midnight.’ He knew. He always knew.

A pause. Neither of them continue.

Perhaps they are both thinking about the last time they spoke.

They had been standing in front of the graves of children. Children that they had slaughtered. She had asked him what had happened, what had changed? How could he have convinced her to follow him into the military with a speech of grandeur and change when all she had gotten was death and decay?

He takes a breath and takes one for the team.

‘I could use some company, Hawkeye. What do you say?’

Her yes is shaky at best. It’s the first of many times he masks his desire to help her as his own weakness. It’s the first of many times that she chooses to ignore it and agree.

When he shows up to her apartment he’s dressed casually. Any other woman would have fanned herself at the white shirt, black slacked gentleman leaning against the doorframe. Major Mustang was handsome and found the company of women a-plenty. But today he looked tired.

He always looks tired. Riza thought to herself. We all do.

He makes no comment regarding her apartment. She had been left a dowry by her mother, it wasn’t much, not enough to cover the rent of even a shoebox apartment. This one had been left to her by a distant aunt that had wanted to spite her own kids. Riza hadn’t known her well, nor had she really cared. But she took the apartment nonetheless.

He stands stiffly in the middle of her living room, his eyes cast towards the dark window.

‘Can’t sleep, Major?’ Riza has her back facing him, keeping her hands busy by making tea.

‘I’m sure you know the feeling.’

Her hands pause but her silence is evidence enough.

‘Would you like some tea?’

She brings over the kettle on a tray with two teacups. Pouring, she focuses on the task at hand.

He searches her face.

‘Tell me what’s on your mind.’

Her movements halt as she re-examines her intentions. She pushes the teacup towards him and strengthens her resolve.

‘You made me a promise.’

He is silent, unmoving.

‘When we stood in the ruins of Ishval, you made me a promise.’ She goes on. ‘No more flame alchemists can exist. No one should be given access to such power again.’

Her words are firm. His tea is untouched.

The implication of her statement is clear. I will never see this power abused the way it has been ever again.

‘Think about what you’re asking.’ His words are quiet but they stand as firm as hers.

‘I know what I’m asking.’

‘I don’t think you do.’

Her voice rises. ‘To destroy evidence of alchemic research is - ’

‘No! Think of what it would do to you!’

Roy clenches his fists in his lap, he looks at her incredulously. ‘You’re asking me to disfigure you. To hurt you simply to make information inaccessible. It’s…’ He hesitates. ‘It’s not good enough.’

The betrayal is clear on Riza’s face.

‘You swore to me that you would do this. You promised that all evidence of flame alchemic research would be destroyed.’ Her look turns accusing. ‘Is this the second promise you will break to me?’

Something inside Roy wavers. He felt his heart stop and the full consequence and destruction he had caused in Riza’s life becomes clear to him. She followed him into the military. She followed him into war. No amount of good intention could revive the parts of their humanity they had lost fighting for Amestris.

His voice is small. ‘Don’t make me do this.’

But she can’t give in.

‘Please don’t make me hurt you too.’

‘You promised.’

Their eyes bore into each other. Neither seem to be breathing.

Not until –

Not until she breaks.

‘Please.’ Her voice barely a whisper. Tears welling but her eyes hold his. ‘Set me free.’

He comes undone. He owes her this. He owes her – everything, everything he could ever give.

And so she stands in front of him, shirt on the floor, arms wrapped around her torso as if she could hide her vulnerability.

The markings on her back look the same as they had when he had first studied them. The back they laid on was stronger though, the muscles more tight, the skin seemed thinner as if time had eroded its previous youthful glow.

Her face is angled over her shoulder but she doesn’t look at him.

‘Hawkeye…’

‘Do it.’ She insists.

He drew a haphazard transmutation circle on the back of his hand with a marker she dug up in her kitchen. The entire time she had been quiet, quietly getting the marker, quietly arranging herself in front of the heater unbuttoning her blouse. Before he could stop himself his fingertips brushed against the tattoos. The markings he had studied for hours, he hadn’t realized how much they weighed on her. They had given him freedom, power even, but for Riza it seems they had always been a burden.

Set me free. She had begged him.

‘I’m sorry.’ It’s barely a whisper. His fingers are fanned over her shoulder blade. He wills the heat to spread through his joints all the way to the tips of his fingers and out. He feels the heat of his alchemy connect with her skin and attempts, as gently and with as much control as he can muster, to penetrate only the surface of her back. To scar her markings but leave her as uninjured as possible.

She tenses with pain, her fingers claw into her sides as she suppressed a whimper. The heat moves downwards singeing anything it passed He manages to burn through the top left part of the Array before he needs to turn his back on her. The smell of burnt flesh, the sizzling of her skin under his hand - it reminds him too much of the battlefield. What is he doing?! His stomach turns and it takes all of his willpower to not vomit on her carpet. If he could cut his hand off then and there, he would.

Her breath is frantic, her face tear stained.

‘Go on.’ She chokes out.

He turns and hesitates, he can see her strength draining as the pain takes over. There are few things worse than second degree burns.

‘Riza…’

‘Do it!’

Free me!

He needs to close his eyes this time but manages to put his hand on the right side of the small of her back. He starts the process over. He’s praying to any and all gods that he’s not inflicting irreparable damage. They both don’t last too much longer before the pain is unbearable and his flashbacks get too strong. By the time he’s finished there are tears running down his face and gall riding up his throat.

With shaking hands he moves towards her, meaning to provide some kind of comforting touch but hesitates. She must only see him as destruction now. Even more than before.

Still, his instincts kick in as her knees buckle, he grabs her by the arms. She’s out like a light, her breathing is labored and heavy. He attempts to move his arms around her stomach, trying to find the most comfortable position for her and a way for the burns to remain untouched.

He thinks that she would hate to be seen in such an exposed state so he grabs the shirt she had dropped and gently places it over her chest.

They should have prepared better for this, he thinks to himself. They hadn’t prepared water, ointment or any means to alleviate pain. Although the last, he guessed, had been on purpose. Riza Hawkeye would always endure. She probably felt like she deserved to feel this pain. That this was the least she had to suffer to atone for what she had done in Ishval.

His attempts to move her to the bedroom where she could lay out her pain were complicated. He feels drained by what he just experienced and Riza’s body is hard to hold on to without agitating the burns further. He ends up gently holding her at the top of the shoulders and under the knees. An adjusted bridal position so to say. Not that he would ever tell her that, she might pull out her Glock just for mentioning marriage.

He manages to open the bedroom door with his elbow and almost trips as a black Shiba jumps to its feet having curled up in front of it.

‘Woah boy.’ Mustang adjusts his arms, attempting to move as little as possible. This friend was one Roy had never met before.

Black Hayate, Riza’s most recent companion of comfort, whines as he sees his owner unresponsive and follows Roy as he steps towards the bed.

He lays her on her side as softly as possible and moves her so that she is laying in the recovery position. This would alleviate any risk of further aggravating her injuries. Black Hayate jumped on the bed and padded over to his master. His expression one of confusion and hurt.

‘She can’t hear you right now.’ Mustang said quietly. ‘She needs to rest.’

Black Hayate runs his nose along Riza’s back, carefully taking in the changes. His whining continues as the smell of blood and singed skin fills the room.

Roy goes to open a window. The wind blows into the room in soft streams. It’s a cold wind though, one that would bite if it were only slightly stronger. Unconsciously, he slides down the wall and sits under the window, his eyes never leaving Riza.

Her breathing was shallow but the tears on her face had dried. The tracks they left behind were a stark contrast against the white of her skin. Riza never cries.

‘I’m sorry.’ He whispered. ‘I’m so sorry.’

He rubs the tears out of his eyes, unwilling to lose his composure in front of Hawkeye whether she was conscious or not.

Desiring to undo the hurt he inflicted on her, he goes searching for ointment in the bathroom. He finds something similar enough to burn cream and forces himself to look at every single pattern he burned into her skin. The skin is charred and red, raw and open. Just like Riza, this was his atonement. His atonement for the sins he committed against her.

He follows the new marks on her skin and carefully applies the cream, pausing every time her body so much as twitched.

‘Are you free now?’ There was no use asking her, she couldn’t answer, but he had to anyway. Had this changed anything?

He thinks back to their times at the Hawkeye estate. He had spent countless years sharing the space with her. And then when he went to Ishval, she had been there too. His formative years had the red string of Riza Hawkeye running through them.

He knew that Riza had always felt tied down by the duty of her father. Had always succumbed to the Professor’s greatest needs, ignoring her own. The world of flame alchemy was carried on her shoulders alone. Not even Roy, who was a Flame Alchemist, could alleviate that.

He didn’t know if she found peace in her wounds. He hoped she did. It was the least that she deserved.

God, he wanted so badly to set her free. He hated that it had to come at the cost of her wellbeing.

A tiny voice inside him moaned I need you to be well. I need you to be safe. But as he always did, he kept his thoughts to himself, pushed them down until they were only a faint whisper.

Sitting at her back allowed him time to mull over exactly how he had been talked into mutilating the one person he insisted he would protect.

He had sworn such an oath to himself long before Professor Hawkeye had even brought it up. He could always use the professor as an excuse but he knew deep inside that he decided he was going to look out for Miz Hawkeye the second she made fun of him for standing in front of that boiling pot of water.

The memories came flooding back as if they had only just happened. Terse smiles exchanged in the hallway, a blanked laid over his shoulders as he fell asleep on his text book again, coffee strong enough for both of them to withstand the withering looks of the professor. Silent laughs at the kitchen counter, plenty of meals shared and stories told.

A fist clenched around his heart.

The memories became tarnished with darkness. The look on her face after she killed her first civilians, her head on his shoulder when exhaustion got the better of her, the way she’d snatch up the leftover sausages from his rations – the only semblance of joy she found in her time abroad. (She never knew he always saved them for her.)

They kept coming, the memories. And the pillow he was leaning against felt softer and softer. His mind clouded and the last thing he thought of before giving into the tendrils of darkness was blonde hair, quit wit and the smell of sausages.

They never spoke of that night again.

She served him coffee in the morning. French press, no milk. Just the way he liked it.

Their conversation was as minimal as her movements. She wore a t-shirt that went down to her knees and barely moved an inch.

Mustang spared a thought to the owner of the shirt, thinking it must be a man’s.

Then they say their good-byes and she closes the door as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

Major Mustang was promoted for his heroic deeds in Ishval, he went by Lieutenant Colonel Mustang from then on and he had a new dream.

He had wanted to strengthen the government only to protect the people he loved. Clearly, that was no longer an option. As Professor Hawkeye had said, military lapdogs account for little change in the world – that cycle needed to be stopped. So Mustang reevaluated his desire and adapted it.

If he couldn’t protect his people by joining the military, he would protect them by leading it.

Who was going to oppose the Fuhrer?

No one.

Well, no one but him.

Ordered to Central City, Mustang accumulated a motley crew of wacky but loyal subordinates. He even called upon Hawkeye. Although she had once confessed she wished to retire, her thoughts were too filled with carnage and tragedy to find anything resembling rest.

He appointed her his personal aide and bodyguard.

He looked at her from behind his new desk as he proposed his plan.

‘Do you accept my offer?’

To stand behind you and fight, finally actually fight, for the right thing? To strike you down should you ever so much as waver?

She barely spared it a thought.

‘Of course I do, sir.’

She vowed. ‘I’ll follow you into hell if you ask me to.’

You already have. He thought.

Time brought about another promotion and plenty of trouble. People might say they had countless adventures since joining forces but the truth was both Lieutenant Major Mustang and 2nd Lieutenant Hawkeye walked a painful path.

Together they saw the aftermath of a Human Transmutation attempt and two orphans too lost to find their way. The little Rockbell girl, a name familiar to Mustang, had asked why anyone would join such an institution. Why the only people she had left to love should.

Hawkeye’s answer had been simple.

Because there are many ways you protect those you love and that was one of them.

Though she would never admit what love she was protecting, even when that love walked into the room and told her their time was up.

Within a year, the duo had been promoted and Maes Hughes had been murdered.

It was quite a picture, the Colonel with his hair pushed back, dressed in mourning.

1st Lieutenant Hawkeye stood at the grave and watched as her Colonel grieved.

It was the first time she had seen such emotion burst forth from him. He rarely talked about his past but when he did it was always with quick wit or in a cold matter-of-fact way. Maes Huges though… Colonel Mustang spoke plenty of Maes Hughes.

And how annoying his constant chatter was.

And how frustrating his cowardice was.

And how much he believed in the good of the world.

And how pure his heart was.

How much he loved his family.

‘Alchemists as a whole - we really are horrible creatures, aren’t we?’

His voice cracks. She has no answer.

‘I think I understand what drove those boys when they tried to bring back their mother.’

She couldn’t stop herself, not when he was hurting like this.

‘Are you alright, Colonel?’ A dumb question really.

He positions his hat, pulls it down over his eyes.

‘Yeah, I’m fine.’ His voice is low, it’s barely a croak. ‘Except, it’s a terrible day for rain.’

Confused she answers: ‘What do you mean? It’s not raining.’

Only then does she notice the tear tracks on his face and his lips pressed tightly together. There’s a hurt in her heart that she can’t quite place and a quiet sadness in her inability to alleviate his suffering.

‘Yes, it is.’

All she can say is: ‘So it is.’

Her Barry the Chopper encounter leaves Hawkeye more shaken up than she would like to admit.

It had been funny for a second, her heart may even have skipped a beat, as the Colonel’s face turned icy when the armour had called her ‘toots’ and he muttered ‘Stand aside, Lieutenant. There’s going to be a fire tonight.’

She never needed his protection anyway, he reckoned. But he’d offer it just for showmanship’s sake.

Just in case.

His comfort though… he always knew when she needed that.

She had excused herself early from their re-con session, he saw her eyes were downcast.

He called that night and she pretended to be surprised. He wafted on about Madam Christmas’ hostess bar, whiskey and wine.

She was content to listen to him. It distracted her from the feeling of impending doom, a feeling that was eerily familiar (Ishval, perhaps?). More souls connected to suits of armour meant more transmutation, more experiments, more evil.

‘These ladies won’t leave me alone, Hawkeye.’

He smiles ruefully, his complaint giving her a chance to jab at him.

‘I’m sure once they hear you speak, they will feel plenty deterred, Colonel.’ Her bland answer is an indication that she feels slightly better.

‘…Hawekeye…’ He whines.

He pushes away the thought of cracking another joke, instead his tone turns serious.

‘I will always be right in front of you.’

He hears her breath hitch, just for a moment.

‘If you ever feel lost, just follow my voice. I won’t lead you astray. I will always be right here.’

Time passes too quickly. The Colonel fakes Ross’ death, his team have their first encounter with Gluttony and Barry the Chopper decides to have a mind of his own. It is at that point that they met Lust and for the first time both of our soldiers needed to admit to themselves, quietly, that they could not live without the other.

‘Now, where was I?’ Lust croons. ‘I was about to send the Lieutenant to join her superior.’

The words hit Hawkeye like a ton of bricks. Her heart stops. Her head feels heavy.

‘It can’t be… You didn’t!’

One monstrous smile later and through a curse Hawkeye releases three full rounds into the demon’s chest. It doesn’t make a difference though. The woman regenerates in a flurry of red static and a hopelessness takes the place of the anger Hawkeye was feeling.

Tears run down her cheeks as the full meaning of Lust’s words finally sink in.

Strength leaves her body, Hawkeye sinks to the floor, inconsolable.

The day Mustang had thought would never come arrived. His Lieutenant was on her knees sobbing. No prompts from Alphonse could halt her. She felt the same dread that Mustang had felt mere minutes ago cauterizing Havoc’s wound, carving a Transmutation Circle into his hand.

Only now, for him, it was infinitely worse.

He, under no circumstances, could watch the people he loved die before him.

Especially not his Lieutenant.

‘You told me I couldn’t kill you but I’d like to try and prove you wrong.’ He spat at the Homunculus.

He lit the flint of the lighter to scorch the creature alive, payback for every second of pain she inflicted on his Lieutenant. It wasn’t enough. There was not enough pain in the world for this beast to endure as punishment for making Hawkeye cry.

The fire in his stomach still roared but the battle was over quickly.

‘I love how cold and focused your eyes are.’ The eery sound of her voice carried as Lust disintegrated before him. ‘I look forward…to the day when those eyes will be wide with agony.

It’s coming….

It’s coming…’

The welcoming eyes Hawkeye had once seen in her family’s kitchen were gone and replaced with cold, hard fury and torment.

Had time finally broken him?

It seems as time passed their burden only became heavier.

When Mustang woke up in the hospital, his was the only bed occupied. The one next to it was empty. The only other figure in the room was Lieutenant Hawkeye who had her arms curled around her head, leaning on his mattress from an uncomfortable looking chair.

He took a moment to steady himself.

This is fine. He told himself. This is okay. She is okay.

His thoughts were interrupted by a sharp pain in his side. Lifting the blanket, he saw his lower torso was wrapped in bandages, as was his right hand.

More scars to add to the collection.

‘Sir.’ He must have woken her by shifting the covers. ‘You’re awake.’

‘So are you.’

She straightened. ‘They took you in for emergency treatment. Your wound… they said they’ve never seen anything like it. It was like you had been pierced by sharpened rods…’

‘What about Havoc?’

‘He is still in surgery.’

She doesn’t seem confident. ‘There’s no word yet.’

Mustang grinds his teeth in frustration but keeps his qualms to himself. He spares her a glance which only makes him feel worse. Her eyes are sunken in, she’s wearing the same clothes as she had during the mission, the faint smell of burnt skin hangs around her.

He can only think of one way to help her. She hates vulnerability, she hates seeming weak and he knows she needs to regroup after the ordeal they just lived through. Wash off any embarrassment she may be feeling.

‘Go home, Lieutenant.’

She doesn’t move.

‘Lieutenant – ’

‘I told you I would follow you into hell.’

He expects the look she gives him to be hard and accusing but all he sees is helplessness .

‘I meant it.’ She vows.

‘I just didn’t think there would ever be a place where I couldn’t follow.’ Her hands are clenched in her lap. She avoids his gaze. ‘When Lust said she had killed you…I thought I lost my mind.’

Tears blur her vision.

‘I can’t do this without you.’ It’s just about a whisper.

He encloses her hand with his gently and looks at her face even though she is still avoiding his.

‘You’ll never have to.’ He promises. ‘Whatever we do, whatever we achieve or don’t achieve, we will do it together.’

He bows his head slightly to get a better look at her.

‘I told you, I will always be right in front of you.’

She can’t stop the tears from falling.

‘Lieutenant Hawkeye of Central City, I order you to always stand directly behind me. I order you to always stay by my side and never leave my line of sight.’

She gives a terse nod and tightens her hand around his ever so slightly.

‘Yes, sir.’

Not many Homunculi remained. Gluttony, Wrath and Pride were the ones left standing. Though the latter two were still unknown.

They managed to foil an attempt by Gluttony. Everything seemed under control. Until.. until Colonel Mustang let’s a rumour slip that Fuhrer Bradley may be a homunculus and suddenly everything became much clearer.

Ushered into a room full of high ranking military officials, none batted an eye when Bradley turned looking like the most sinister man ever to walk the earth.

Turns out it doesn’t take more than a quick joke to find your allies and force your enemies to go looking for you.

Fuhrer Bradley showed up at the Colonel’s office the very next day. He explained that the Homunculi had been scheming since Amestris had been put on the map and they weren’t about to let one nosy Colonel destroy their lifelong goal now.

‘How would your son react if he knew his father was secretly a Homunculus fueled by the death of others?’

‘It may serve you better to guard your own weaknesses, Colonel Mustang. Else you might find yourself an army of one. It is difficult to fight a war when you have no subordinates to support you. Even if you are an alchemist.’

Bradley’s look hadn’t been dark or dangerous, his expression had always been one of pleasant imposition, nevertheless the threat had been very clear.

‘Your Lieutenant, she seems bright and talented. She was a good choice to send to the front lines.’

Mustang said nothing, he eyes only narrowed on the Fuhrer.

‘I have decided to make her my own personal assistant. I could use someone like her in my office.’

No!

‘Hawkeye has nothing to do with this.’

‘She doesn’t need to. She is your closest confidant and most loyal follower.’

There was no denying that.

Their eyes meet.

‘Consider this a warning. A hostage situation is always precarious. It would be a shame if Lieutenant Hawkeye were caught in a cross-fire.’

That was the day Mustang decided he was going to kill Fuhrer Bradley, Wrath – whatever his name was/

For threatening his Lieutenant, Bradley was going to pay.

Hawkeye was surprised when she opened her door to find Edward Elric standing there. He had come to return the pistol from his encounter with Scar. Given his experience with alchemic canon launchers, it seemed a little amusing that he held a small gun with such trepidation but Hawkeye made no comment.

She served him tea and waited.

He didn’t say anything at first, only watched her take apart her weapon and clean in skillfully.

Then he asked about Ishval.

What could she say?

Crimes were committed, ledgers painted red and no one walked away unharmed. Even those that did manage to survive.

There is something to be said about being the person that holds power the way a sniper does. That no shot ever misses its target. Ordinary battalion soldiers, they got to inflict their pain and walk away without watching the suffering they leave behind. But no sniper could turn away from their magnifying glass fast enough to avoid watching their victim fall.

It doesn’t matter. Is what she told him. Whether Colonel Mustang or she survived this ordeal didn’t matter. Whether they get imprisoned for the massacre they took part in didn’t matter. What mattered was the future of Amestris and the democracy it needed to thrive.

Colonel Mustang wanted to be the Fuhrer to change this world for the better. But he was very aware that as soon he did make those changes, they may affect him as well. Signing an order to bring peace to the Ishvalan conflict was what needed to be done. And after all, they had taken part in the war. They deserved to pay for the damage they had caused.

She thinks for a moment how young the boy is sitting in front of her and how he has had to fight a war as well. There was nothing she could do to alleviate the weight he carried, finding his place in the world and saving his brother was not something she could assist him with. So instead she listened. He told her about his fears and how he felt useless.

A great sorrow overcame her as she watched this boy, really nothing but a boy, face death over and over again and never shy away.

There’s something of the Colonel in him. She thinks quietly, screwing her gun back together.

‘You’re just dwelling on this stuff because you made it back alive. You need to focus on living.’

He looked solemn.

‘That’s how you protect her.’

That’s how you protect them all.

Roy Mustang had an itch. Not a physical itch, an emotional one… a metaphysical one. Like something bad was about to happen but he couldn’t quite tell what it was.

The cart of flowers he bought were pretty. Expensive but pretty. It didn’t scratch his itch. There, at the back of his neck his hair stood upright because he felt something.

He followed his instinct to a phonebooth and tried his best not to think about Hughes while he picked up the receiver.

He did what he always did when he called his Lieutenant, he cracked a joke and hoped it would cover up his sense of dread.

‘Hello there, Madam. It’s your friendly neighbourhood florist.’

He hears her let out a breath she was holding and even though he couldn’t see her, he knew her face was pinched. She had expected something worse.

The itch went away. A serious note enters his voice.

‘…do me a favour and take some off my hands?’

The tiniest of sighs escapes her lips. It’s enough for him to know. The moment of humour passes immediately. It is replaced with worry.

‘What’s wrong?’

No answer.

‘Did something happen?’

Her reply is a small ‘No, sir.’ And she knows he doesn’t believe her. ‘It’s nothing.’

A beat.

‘Are you sure?’ Tell me.

Her voice is monotonous. ‘Yes, sir. Everything’s fine.’

There is no use prodding her. He knows his Lieutenant well enough to avoid aggravating her further.

He pretends to buy her weak excuse of not owning a flower vase to turn down the flowers and hangs up when she bids him good-night.

Walking off his buzz, he keeps two bunches of flowers and gives the rest away. One he brings to Major General Armstrong, the second he leaves in front of Hawkeye’s door. Not even his buzz would stop him from remembering to check on her the next day.

The office seemed bigger and emptier without Hawkeye. Her presence had unknowingly filled up the space and now it felt wrong. The colleagues he had left, the ones that Wrath hadn’t banished to faraway places, all seemed downcast. As if they knew the end was near. As if they were losing their fight.

His office demeanor hadn’t changed. Perhaps it should have but he refused to replace his Lieutenant because he would not accept that it was a permanent change. Instead, he grovelled with his superiors and charmed them into giving him more time. And boy, did he use every second of it.

Working through meals had become staple.

But again, he told himself, it was not permanent.

His breathing felt a little easier when he spotted her in the cafeteria. Even sitting across from her, to see that she was alive, for now it would be enough.

He makes note of a healing cut on her cheek and sees the red marks on her wrists. If she sees him notice, she does not react.

She had always known how to wax on about things. Her undercover operations were infamous in their, his, office. She could talk her way out of anything. It was nice to hear her talk.

He listened, appearing distracted with his fountain pen, but paid close attention. He stops mid-bite when she tapped her mug against the table twice.

Listen. Up. It said.

All those days holed up on stake outs with nothing to do to pass the time helped them adapt their own form of Morse Code. It had been several years now since they had actively used it but every now and again it came in handy. His eyes met hers, he tapped his fountain pen twice.

I’m. Ready.

She recounted a bizarre story of former cadets that she grew up with, ones that were stationed out North and who knows where else. A girl name Sugar was included and other details that made for a funny tale.

In a locked bathroom stall, later, he decodes her message, he wishes he his hunch had been wrong. But he had felt it coming.

SELIM BRADLEY IS HOMONCULUS

Mustang held the burning note over the toilet and watched as his only lead turned to ash. The marks on Hawkeye’s skin made more sense now. She had run into the original Homunculus.

There were no words that could accurately describe the dread that Mustang felt when he saw his Lieutenant in a headlock. The man holding her wielded a duelling sword, his shoulder pressed against the wound in her shoulder.

‘I will not be your puppet. Do it yourself!’ He spat his words that the crazed lackey professor.

He had said the wrong thing.

The words the professor said barely reached him, Mustang had his eyes on Hawkeye the entire time. The split second they darted away, all he saw was blood and all he heard was the sound of a clean cut. Metal on skin. They had slit her throat.

He went wild.

‘Lieutenant! Lieutenant! Lieutenant!’ Pure agony filled his voice. He struggled against his hold.

‘What do say you, Mustang?’

He spat his words at the psycho, fighting the guards with every molecule in his body. ‘I’LL KILL YOU!’

‘Perform the transmutation and become the fifth sacrifice.’ That was what they ordered him to do.

The professor kept talking but none of it registered. His eyes were only on Hawkeye who was lying on the ground, hair spilled around her, her hand on her neck trying to stop the steady pool of blood growing around her.

‘I’m not gonna die.’

She’s still alive! His heart sings.

‘What you don’t know is…’ her breath is staggered ‘is that I’m under strict orders… not to die.’

The blood continued to leak from her wound, he saw her consciousness fade and the light in her eyes dim.

Your woman. That is what the professor had said when he taunted Mustang. His woman.

He ran the scenario in his head. How much sacrifice was too much to make the world a better place? Was one philosopher’s stone, that has already been created by people no longer in this world, so repulsive in its nature that it had to be shunned – even if it could save the one person that mattered? The one person he loved?

Only once before had he considered using human transmutation and back then it had been a pipe dream, a fantasy to bring back someone he missed dearly and knew he could live without but did not want to. This time … he was serious. He would not …. No, he could not live without his Lieutenant.

The only thing stopping him is her quiet beg. ‘Colonel, please.’ She shivers. ‘You don’t have to do this. Don’t sacrifice everything for my sake.’

The world be damned, none of the change he wanted mattered if he couldn’t experience it with her.

Her eyes are focused now, staring at him, right into his soul. Begging him to follow her order just this once. Until her look turns upwards. A signal.

‘Alright.’

A beat. Hawkeye fell weaker and the professor smiles wickedly.

‘Alright, Lieutenant.’ He holds her gaze and says with full confidence ‘I won’t perform the transmutation.’

Mei and others who Mustang can’t bring himself to care about hijack the professors plan and help him take down the pawns.

He runs towards the Lieutenant with all his might barely pausing to snap his fingers igniting the man that steps in his way.

He begs her to open her eyes turning her face towards him. He feels the weakness in her body, how her limbs have almost gone limp. He doesn’t even notice the solider coming at him with a sword. His eyes stay on Hawkeye the entire time. If they die, they die together.

‘Don’t you dare die! Stay with me Lieutenant!’ Please. He begs silently.

The little girl runs over intent on helping. She has Mustang lay down the Lieutenant as she draws an alkahestry circle in blood and slams kunai into the junctures. Mei lays her hands on the ground and a moment later the entire circle glows with blue electricity. Mustang can see the wound on Hawkeye’s neck clotting as the muscles get bound back together. The glow fades and for a moment nothing happens.

Then Hawkeye stirs.

He grabs her by the arms and pulls her into his chest. His breathing is as shallow as hers and he can’t stop himself from closing his eyes and laying his head on hers, just for a moment. He thanks the gods, the almighty and whoever else may be worthy for sending Mei to Central City. For saving his Lieutenant, he would be indebted to her for the rest of his life.

Mei watches the pair with fascination. They didn’t seem to realize that the battle was still waging around them. All they could see was each other, all they could feel was the other.

‘Colonel…I’m… so sorry..’

‘No, don’t speak. Just rest now.’

‘You understood my signal…I’m not sure how…but I’m glad.’

In spite of their situation, he smiles. ‘We’ve been together long enough.’

The thought warms his heart. He feels such a sense of relief, he can’t help but made a joke.

‘And besides, I know that glare. It means ‘use human transmutation and I’ll shoot you.’

He brings her to her feet and gives out thanks just as Fuhrer Bradley shows up.

A single glance in Hawkeye’s direction has Mustang tightening his grip on her shoulder.

Nothing the Fuhrer says has any impact because Mustang has found his purpose again. He has people behind him that stop him from being reckless now, people that keep him heading down the right path.

Wrath’s compliments are wrapped with venom. Mustang thinks this has got to end soon, he feels Hawkeye’s knees giving out. He’s bearing most of her weight now.

Gently, he passes her to a companion with the intention of facing Pride himself. The horrible creature that radiated darkness stood silently in front of the group by the person that was allegedly its father.

Before he could make a move though Wrath jumps at him. His alchemy misses its target and he is pushed to the ground with Wrath’s knee on his chest and his swords impaling his hands.

The sight of the swords running through his palms is almost as horrifying as Hawkeye’s scream.

What happened next compared to nothing they had ever seen before. Not Ishval, not fighting homunculi, nothing. The group watched as Pride murdered their own subordinate and used him and its shadows to create an alchemic human transmutation circle. With his hands pinned down, Roy Mustang was forced to become the fifth sacrifice

Wrath walked from the circle as if he was walking in a park and only briefly stopped to wonder ‘What will be taken from you, Roy Mustang?’

Roy woke up in an endless white room in front of a being that was made of static while simultaneously also made of nothing at all. It emitted powerful energy and though it had no eyes, Roy had the distinct feeling of being watched.

‘So you have discovered the Portal.’

The voice that spoke was eery. As if thousands of voices were combined to speak through one vessel that didn’t move at all. It cocked its head as if it were looking at a new toy.

‘And you have discovered the Truth.’

The Truth?

‘You intend to leave here alive.’

It was uncanny, the being that was sitting cross legged in front of him. Creepy even. Roy felt like his heart was being read right out of his chest.

‘You think you have a world to build. You think you are worthy of inflicting change.’

The creature unsettled something deep within him. It seemed unhinged and otherworldly.

‘What is your payment?’

Payment?

‘To open the Gate, payment must be received. Thus is the law of Equivalent Exchange.’

Roy said nothing. This was jarring. It all made sense now. The laws of equivalent exchange came from the alchemic transference in the almighty realm. The thing that was sitting in front of him… was God. For having trespassed into its territory, an alchemist must pay to repent for the greatest sin ever committed that would bring him to such heights. Human transmutation. A great deal of knowledge flooded through Roy as he felt the being look at him, waiting.

‘So being pulled through the Gate grants alchemists the ability to perform alchemy without the usual means of transmutation in exchange for a toll.’

The being smiles, revealing a set of largely comic teeth.

‘Edward paid with his limbs.’

The smile grows.

‘Alphonse paid with his body.’

‘What will you pay?’ The voices echoed through the whiteness.

Silence.

‘Will you sacrifice your vision?’

‘My vision?’

Roy thought about his goal, the world he wanted to create, foster and protect. His vision of a better future.

Impatience rang through the room, though how Roy wasn’t sure.

‘Time is up.’ The voice said. ‘Will you keep your vision even if you lose your sight?’

The rest of the battle is black. The person the Homunculi called Father is unknown to him, he only remembers the voice of the monster that inflicted so much damage. Calm, cool and collected. Disgusting.

Sig Curtis helps him step from the moving stone. He can’t see the sunlight but he feels the heat on his face.

‘Colonel!’

Relief floods his chest.

He bends down towards Hawkeye’s voice, a hand moves unconsciously in front of his eyes as if he would be able to see the movement. He feels her hand hover near his.

He can’t place her face so he keeps his eyes averted.

‘Colonel, are you injured? What’s wrong?’

Her voice is closer, she must be kneeling in front of him.

For one single second he allows grief to overcome him for what he has lost.

‘My sight is gone.’

She gasps, her mouth agog.

He pushes down any and all emotions. ‘Lieutenant, how are your injuries?’

He needs to make sure she is okay.

He hears her hold back a sob, he knows exactly what her face would look like.

‘Don’t think about me! Just worry about yourself for once!’ Her hand moves towards his eyes. ‘Your eyes…’ She sounds distraught, his eyes have grayed and they no longer shake with emotion.

‘Lieutenant.’ His voice is gruff, for a moment his hand hovers by hers. ‘Can you still fight?!’

This time her breath is not hesitant. Her resolve is clear.

‘Yes sir.’

The battle is a blur to everyone. Thinking back, he remembers Hawkeye at his back, her hands on his arm pointing him in the right direction.

He recalls thinking he’d like to have her stand this close by his side forever.

Everyone lost something that day. But many also received.

Edward lost his alchemy but as is always the case with equivalent exchange, he got something back that could only be considered comparable.

In the end, he found out he was not defined by his alchemic skill or even by the battle he won Amestris but by the love he had for his brother. Some love was so strong, it could endure even an almighty’s touch.

Alphonse Elrich returned to the living plane and reunited with his body. It would be a long time before he resembled anything close to ‘okay’ but he would get there in the end. He had his big brother and the family he found along the way. The first thing on his list was eating Winry’s apple pie and taking a good long nap.

That left our heroes, our star crossed lovers of the military. Elizabeth and her Mustang.

They both recovered, she more quickly than he, but performing human transmutation will do that to ya. Still, she never left his bedside.

When night had fallen after the battle, while Amestris still stood in shambles, Hawkeye had begged the doctors to let her stay by her Colonel’s side.

Her hospital bed was placed next to his. When he awoke after countless checks his gaze stayed towards the wall. They didn’t speak for a long time and only Hawkeye could see the moon shine through the window. It was quiet until…

‘I wish I could see your face, Lieutenant.’

He knows her better than anyone, so he knows she has tears in her eyes. Not from his comment, mostly from the ordeal they survived. Maybe a little from his comment.

‘I’ll help you get your sight back, Colonel. If it’s the last thing I do.’

‘Don’t bother.’

‘Sir!’

He hears her climb out of bed and feels her move towards him.

‘Stop.’ His word is quiet but it is final.

He reaches out in the direction he thinks she is standing and tries to find her hand.

‘I don’t need sight if I have vision. And I know what my vision is, was. I want to protect my people. You are the person I wanted to protect. If losing my eye sight means you get to live, then I will give it up a hundred times.’

A knot forms in her throat. He tugs gently until she’s sat on the edge of his bed.

‘Colonel…’

‘I may not be able to see anymore but we still have a lot of work to do, you understand? I’m going to need you right by my side throughout all of it.’

She shakes her head, her voice wavering. ‘I’ll never leave you.’

He smiles in her general direction. His hand runs up her arm until it finds her cheek.

‘Good. Because I can’t live with out you and I don’t plan to either.’

She leans into his touch.

This is fine. She thinks. Forever like this, is fine.

#bee writes #beewrites #fmab #fullmetal alchemist #fullmetal alchimist brotherhood #fic #for wendy #always for wendy

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yanjuniverse · 6 years ago

Text

The Way We Fell - Lin Yanjun

[a/n: sorry i been posting. i really love yanjun tho and seeing him in the new banana series gave me motivation to finish this, though.]

[cxk, cln, fcc, hmh, lyj, zzt, wzy, wlk, yzj] / masterlist

“If you keep loving like that, you’re bound to get hurt.”

Those are the words Lin Yanjun would always tell you.

He thinks you’re quite...odd - annoying, if he wants to hurt your feelings. How could somebody be so in love with everything that comes into contact with them? The rain, the sunshine, the stars in the sky and the sea that shimmers below. Everyday, Yanjun hears you profess your love for everything and everyone.

He hates it - how you throw yourself into love with anyone and anything. He thinks it’s pointless. Why love something that may never love you back? he constantly thinks when he’s around you.

“Heartbreaks are a part of life,” you always tell him. “It’s how you grow.”

If that’s how height worked, Yanjun doesn’t think that he would’ve made it past the age of an average two year old.

Lin Yanjun, to say the least, was not somebody to love. He was cold hearted. He thought there was more to life than just finding someone to fall in love with. And if that were true, he thought that he shouldn’t waste all of his time trying to find it.

Little did he know that if love wasn’t something that one would find, much rather something that would find you.

Nobody could understand the relationship between the two of you. Somebody who spurted vibrancy constantly clinging to someone with rain clouds over their head. It was an unsightly clash and yet, you stuck with him.

Because that’s what you do when somebody calls you first in their time of need. It’s what you do when somebody puts your needs before their own. You fall into love with those who need to be loved and so whole heartedly did you fall for Yanjun.

He meets you during his childhood. He’s not sure why or how or more exactly when you became a nuisance in his life but you came and never left his side. You were constantly inviting yourself over or ringing on his doorbell so that he could come out and play. But he never told you to go away. Not even when he was angry with you for breaking his new toy or making him fall off of his scooter. He’d simply say that he needs to go home and readies himself for the next day when you come bounding through his doorway with a shit eating grin plastered across your face.

He doesn’t have a lot of friends growing up. He likes to keep to himself, quietly moving between the halls of the school with a sour look etched on his face. And yet, everyone knows who he is.

Because of you.

You had many friends. Everyone in the school considered you their friend. People were always inviting you out to lunch and parties and to hang out after school. But you, more times than not, would reject. You knew Yanjun liked to stay in the library during lunch. You knew he wasn’t much for the party scene. You didn’t want to leave him. So every day, you’d always bring to paper sacks and throw them on the table, smiling happily as he glared at you.

After school, he’d drive you home. He never speaks up about how much he hates the song you love so much. He lets you fiddle with the heater or the AC even when he starts to shudder or sweat. He’s quiet, really. The only time he speaks up is when you don’t put your seatbelt on as soon as you sit down in his car.

“You have a big ass head and I don’t want it to go flying through my windshield,” he’d grumble as he reaches over your body to grab your strap. He clicks the metal in and then speeds out of the parking lot in hopes that he only has to hear that annoying song twice.

When you both arrive to his house, he lets you pull him onto the bed and rest your head on his chest. He strokes your head with one hand and plays with his phone in the other. He acts like he doesn’t care that you’re there. He always does. But when your soft breaths even out, he can’t help but smile. He never tells you, but he wants to stay like this forever.

Yanjun has a hard time saying he loves you. You know that much. He’s mean in a way. He calls your names and sometimes, it’s enough to hurt your feelings. He closes himself off. He walks away from you. There are times where you find yourself asking if he loves you as much as you love him. But then, when he softly holds your hand in a crowded area or thrusts a glass of water your way, part of you knows he cares. It’s times like this where you’re reminded that if Yanjun truly did hate you as much as he claims he does, he would’ve let you go earlier. He wasn’t somebody who just kept people around that he didn’t find necessary. Maybe that’s what gave you comfort to sleep at night.

There are times where you want to ask him what the two of you are. The question burns as he hovers above you and kisses the life from your body. As much as you whisper that you love him between your teeth, he never gives himself enough time to say it back to you. He always seems to avoid saying it back to you.

The question of if Yanjun does love you in even the slightest gawns at your bones on nights like that.

The question becomes more evident as you start to talk to a nice boy by the name of Honglin. He takes you out on dates and buys you flowers. Sure, the flowers he gets you makes you sneeze and perhaps you weren’t particularly fond of the movies or restaurants he picks but he tries and he expresses how much he likes you whenever he gets the chance to.

At one point on a date to the movies, Honglin places his hand on your thigh. You push it away kindly and take to holding it but he eventually finds a way to sneak his hand back a little too close for comfort. You tell him to stop and instead, he pecks your lips and squeezes the flesh between his fingers. You laugh awkwardly and after a few minutes, excuse yourself to the bathroom.

Yanjun shows up five minutes later, barging into the bathroom and sees you sitting on the counter with a shaken expression. He scoffs and rolls his eyes, grabbing you by the wrist and dragging you out before anyone could yell at him.

It’s when you exit that you see Honglin standing there expectantly. He raises his eyebrows at Yanjun and tries to speak with you but Yanjun cuts in.

“This date is over. We’re leaving,” he states coldly.

“And who are you?” Honglin scoffs.

Yanjun smirks. “More than you’ll ever be, that’s for sure.”

And he’s right.

Yanjun is the first person you ever share a kiss with when you were younger, the first person you ever slept with, the first person you ever tell that you love with their whole heart. And as time moves on, Yanjun is the last as well.

He smiles back at the old memories. At twenty two, never did Yanjun think he’d have to experience death the way that he did.

He still remembers. You both were away at college when you had first fallen ill. He takes you home for the weekend and tells your parents how fickle you are nowadays and blames it on being homesick. He kisses you hard and leaves back the next day because he has an exam that he can’t miss.

He swings you texts while you’re gone and wants to know when he should pick you up again. You tell him that your parents want you to stay home and he doesn’t pick into it.

Stupid.

Because the next time he sees you, is during the second month of summer. He had already spent the first month away on vacation with his family and returns to find you in a hospital bed.

He wants to know why you didn’t tell him - why you lied when he asked if you were okay. You tell him that it’s because he was so happy for once in his life and you loved him too much to take that away from him. He shakes his head and tells you that if you loved him as much as you say you do, you would’ve told him as soon as you found out. He calls you the most selfish person he‘s ever met then leaves, slamming the door behind him.

You’re not even angry at him.

Because you’ve learned over the years of loving Yanjun that you need to love every side of him. His happy side that occasionally breaks out as he throws his head back to laugh, his sleepy side that wants to cuddle and be the smaller spoon, his indecisive side that takes thirty minutes to order, but especially the angry side of him. The side of him that lashes out and runs away. The side of him that swears he won’t come back this time. The side of him that takes over a big chunk of his personality.

Because it’s not you he’s angry at. It’s himself.

He’s never yelled at you. He’s never said mean things directly to you. You’re almost sixteen when you realize it and it starts to make sense. He runs away to keep himself from saying things he doesn’t mean and screams his thoughts into reality when he’s by himself.

He’ll always come back to you with red eyes and lay down. He’ll curse at you for being so stupid for loving someone like him and hold you until you swear, he’s never going to let go.

So when he comes back a week later, thinner and tired, you move over and let him collapse next to you.

“It’s not fair,” he whimpers.

“Life isn’t fair,” you tell him.

He spends his days next to you, kisses your face and rubs your hair over and over again. He knows you can’t promise forever - not anymore. But when you’re finally asleep after a long day, he tells you that he hopes you’ll wait for him in the next life and he’ll give you a forever you deserve.

He should’ve told you he loved you when you were still alive and breathing. He should’ve- He should’ve said it to you when you were healthy. All the chances he had and he’s simply just...kiss you and take your breath away and hope you understood the words he struggled with.

The day you pass leaves him broken.

Many people try to reach out to him but he’s too busy hiding away in his room sobbing until his entire face is red and blotchy, until his nose is runny and until he feels like his throat is bleeding from hours of screaming.

It’s not fair to him that you left him here, he thinks as he stumbles around town in a drunken stupor.

He spirals out of control more and more. He drinks until he has to be carried out of the bar, barely eats and blocks everyone out. He’ll continue like that for two months until he gets a call.

Your parents ask him to come over. They want to empty out your room finally and want him to take anything he wants.

He wants all of it.

Your spirit still lingers in the scent of your sheets. He thinks about all the mischievous nights he’s scaled the side of your house just to come and sleep next to you. He thinks about how many times he’s sat and teased you on this very bed. He thinks about all the times he’s touched you here, kissed you there and let his hands roam wherever you’d let him.

He sees your vanity and all of the jewelry. He thinks of all the times he just watched you get ready and wanted to tell you how beautiful you were but the words always got caught in his mouth when you looked at him. You took his breath away every time.

He should’ve told you that you were the most ethreal being he’s ever laid eyes on. He should’ve found a way to regain his sense and just tell you instead of brushing your hair back and kissing you senseless.

He opens a drawer next to him and sees a small jewelry box. It’s not one he’s seen before and he wonders if it’s always been here. He sits up right and pulls it into his lap, carefully opening it as a lullaby starts to sing.

A music box, he thinks as he comes across a stack of envelopes inside. His eyebrows scrunch together, cocks his head to the side and turns it over in his hands.

He’s not sure if he should open them. There’s no receiver on them and he’s scared that he’ll see something he shouldn’t. But, as if he can hear you urging him, his fingers slice open the one on the very top.

He already misses you when he sees your handwriting, messy yet beautiful. He thinks of all the times he watched you taking notes, all the times he teased you for your pendmentship and yet, he wants it inked on his skin.

He scrunches his eyebrows as he sees his name written at the very top of the page.

So it is meant for him, he thinks as he begins to read.

Letter 365

Dear Lin Yanjun,

If you’ve found this box, it means that I’ve already passed on to the other side. You don’t know this, but I was actually sick for a very long time. About six months before you took me home, I was told that the illness within me would take my life faster than I could even pronounce it.

Yanjun, it would be selfish of me to ask you not to be sad. I know you. You’re angry at me, no? You’re going to look at me and scream that this isn’t some romance novel that I used to fawn over when we were in middle school and that you are no Agustus. I know that, Yanjun. But I also know that there’s a weakness that lies within you that may unravel upon hearing about my illness and I just...couldn’t take that smile from you just yet. Not when your life is going so well, not when you’re finally making amends with your family, not now.

Yanjun, I’m sorry that I left you in the manner that I did. You, of all the people I’ve come across, of all the people I’ve fallen in and out of love with, of all the drops in the ocean and stars in the sky, deserve to know, in the very least, what love is. I hoped that during my life, you learned as much.

I never intended for this to happen but you always said that things happened for a reason, don’t they? We hurt so we can feel true growth, cry so we can feel true happiness and love so hard that you swear the world will burst at its seams. And to experience that all by your side, Lin Yanjun, was the truest honor of them all.

There’s this saying that you always said to me, the one about actions speaking louder than words and I can’t help but think about all the times you wordlessly told me you loved me. I knew you loved me back, Yanjun. Don’t worry.

From you shoving me on the safer side of the sidewalk to you holding me while I cried. Everything you did for me screamed back in the love you gave me. As I’m laying here, writing this letter, I can’t help but think of how in love you are with me.

Lin Yanjun, I love you. I’m so glad to leave this world knowing you loved me too. I’m so grateful for all of the time we spent together, for all of our good times and for all of our bad times. You made me into the person I was.

Yanjun, I hope in our next life, you and I will be able to stay together long enough for me to hear you tell me that you love me. In our next life, let’s live long and healthy. In our next life, let’s not hold back the things we wish to say the most.

With that being said, in this box is 364 more letters. All of them have been written here and there over the years with things I had wished I had said to you. Some of them are good, some of them are bad but as you can see, I held back just as much as you. Please take care of them well, Yanjun.

I know the way we fell for each other wasn’t the most ideal. The way we fell left us brusied and scared but Yanjun, I wouldn’t want to have lived this life another way. I hope that you feel that way too.

I should go. There are too many tear stains on this sheet now, no?

I love you, Lin Yanjun. Never forget that. You and I are of the same star. We are destined to be with each other in our many lives to come. We will always find our way back to each other.

Yours, and forever yours,

YN.

Yanjun reads the letter over and over again, eyes brimming with tears. “I love you too,” he whispers. “I’m always going to love you.”

He leaves with just that box. It’s enough for him. It’s the only thing he needs. With your love, Yanjun plans to grow and morph into the person you wished you had lived to see him become. He will stand a little straighter and speak a bit louder and let love find him.

Because that’s what you do for the person who you call during your time of need. It’s what you do when somebody puts your needs before their own. You fall into love with those who love you and so whole heartedly did Yanjun fall for you.

So, he throws away the bottles. He opens his windows and his heart and lives the rest of his life the same way you had before you got sick. It may have taken him a long time but he finally understands the beauty of life. He finally understands how you fell in love with everyone and everything.

Yanjun learns that when you love the way you had loved, you’re bound to get hurt. But when you’re truly in love the way you had truly been, you learn that getting hurt is helps you grow.

And grow is what Yanjun will do.

the end.

#yanjuniverse; nine percent #ninepercentnet #idol producer #idol producer scenarios #idol producer imagine #nine percent #9 percent #xiao gui #lin yanjun #banana entertainment #lin yanjun trainee18 #nine percent lin yanjun #lin yanjun one shot #lin yanjun imagine #lin yanjun scenarios #lin yanjun au #evanism #lin evan

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