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phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess · 6 years ago

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Comic Series to Read (Pt3)

+ALTERS by Paul Jenkins & Leila Liz

As the world struggles to accept the emergence of a new kind of human species known as alterations, or "Alters," a young woman must navigate the path to becoming her true self, while struggling with the complications of her civilian life and the responsibilities of her newfound power. This groundbreaking series - years in the making - begins the saga of a young woman who can only really be herself... whenever she is not herself.

Fascinating view of the world through the eyes of someone who is not only hiding their secret hero abilities, but also that she IS a she. I really enjoy this book, and all the little details that unfold the more you read on.[Trans!protagonist, violence, disabled character(s), general death and mayhem, superpowers, a few unfortunate slurs, etc.]

+GENERATION ZERO by Fred Van Lente & Francis Portela

Years ago, the children of the experimental strike team known as Generation Zero were taken from their families by Project Rising Spirit, a private weapons contractor, and raised to be psychic soldiers. After years of taking orders, they have fought for and won their freedom. Now, the world's most wanted teenagers have pledged to protect each other tooth and claw, while using their extraordinary abilities to right wrongs for a generation without a future... To fight for kids, just like them. One of those kids is Keisha Sherman, whose boyfriend just turned up dead after a suspicious car crash in Rook, Michigan - a newly booming tech town that sprang from rags to super-riches seemingly overnight. When Keisha makes a desperate plea into her webcam, the local high school suddenly finds itself with several unusual new students... But as word of Generation Zero's presence spreads rapidly through the halls, this volatile band of teenage upstarts is about to discover that they're far from the most extraordinary thing lurking behind Rook's stainless-steel facade...

This is one of those stories where you THINK you know what will happen, but surprise, you’re fucking wrong, it’s waaaaaaaaay better and also, way worse than you imagine. What they come to save the town from is something that takes far bigger than you can even comprehend...

[MH/disabled protags, violence, deaths, etc.]

+ECLIPSE by Zachary Kaplan & Giovanni Timpano

Imagine if sunlight burned you alive. In the near future, a mysterious solar event has transformed the sun's light into deadly immolating rays. The world's few survivors now live in nocturnal cities. But a killer emerges who uses sunlight to burn his victims, and when he targets the daughter of a solar power mogul, it falls to a disillusioned solar engineer to protect her.

Actually really, really liked this one. The effortless world-building and the degree of chaos instilled by the whole world going to, literal hell. And it’s not... far-fetched, not really. I mean, in Aus it was super fucking hot three years in a row, like, unusual even for us hot... it’s that hint of ‘maybe future’ that draws you in and the story traps you. [Violence, murder, immolation, drugs/alcohol use, etc]

+COPPERHEAD by Jay Faerber, Ron Riley & Scott Godlewski

Welcome to Copperhead, a grimy mining town on the edge of a backwater planet. Single mom Clara Bronson is the new sheriff, and on her first day she'll have to contend with a resentful deputy, a shady mining tycoon, and a family of alien hillbillies. And did we mention the massacre? Questions swirl around not only the murder mystery, but around Sheriff Bronson herself. What brought her to a place like Copperhead? Is she running from something? Or towards something?

It feels like you want to like and hate the characters, because they feel a little too realistic; the situations may be in space and crazy alien nonsense, but some things remain the same. Definitely felt a bit slow to begin with, but it all made sense in context the more I read... [Violence, Surgery, Death, Big Spooky Bullshit Aliens, etc.]

+TREES by Warren Ellis & Jason Howard

Ten years after they landed. All over the world. And they did nothing, standing on the surface of the Earth like trees, exerting their silent pressure on the world, as if there were no-one here and nothing under foot. Ten years since we learned that there is intelligent life in the universe, but that they did not recognize us as intelligent or alive.

Okay, so that’s vague. Consider this, ten years ago, aliens dropped some gigantic cylinders on earth in strategic places, humanity called them ‘trees’; they don’t talk to us, we’re fleas to them, nothing alive or worth noting. Occasionally, a tree floods green sludge that annihilates everything around it. The world is broken by them.

You follow a handful of different stories that all seem to meld together somehow. Follow a research team in the ice; a young painter who finds himself in the shadow of the china tree; a young woman who seizes control of her little world through the fear the trees elicit, etc. You never know what will happen.

I, personally, loved it; but that’s just me. can’t wait for volume 3, though. [LGBPTA+ characters, violence, alien trees, gangs, violence, murder and cruelty, etc.]

+THE EMPTY by Jimmy Robinson

Tanoor is a hunter struggling to feed her village in an apocalyptic world of poison and decay, but Tanoor finds hope when she discovers a stranger named Lila who has the ability to grow life from death-a power that could change the world of The Empty.

You know, when I first saw the artstyle, I was a little put off because I thought it was just someone exaggerating features for the hell of it; but you know what, the more you read, the more you realise how and why they are like that. How evolution shaped them, because of the world they had come from, and survived in.

Basic story summary? Tanoor, badass lady hunter trolling through the emptiness to find food for her asshole people, lead by foolish elders too afraid of their own shadow to take chances. Lila, a different kind of being, ends up in the Empty and finds Tanoor; that’s when the fun really begins as they try to reverse the terrible poisoning that has created such a toxic, barren world. It was pretty engaging; can’t wait to see what volume 2 will bring, bc you really do get invested in the characters. [Violence, Death, Wasteland, Xenophobia, etc.]

+ZODIAC STARFORCE by Kevin Panetta & Paulina Gancheau

They're an elite group of teenage girls with magical powers who have sworn to protect our planet against dark creatures . . . as long as they can get out of class! Known as the Zodiac Starforce, these high-school girls aren't just combating math tests. They're also battling monsters--not your typical afterschool activity! But when an evil force from another dimension infects team leader Emma, she must work with her team of magically powered friends to save herself--and the world--from the evil Diana and her mean-girl minions!

Sounds like just another Sailor Moon style magic girl team, and that’s pretty much the mindset I went into it with; but yeah, I was wrong. Honestly it surprised me, really loved them.

And the villain is so fucking relateable, sure she’s doing a Bad, but ther reason behind it makes sense. At least half of you would take the same chances and fuck up too. Not justifying her shit, but really, you get WHY. Love the zodiac force though, so damn cute and silly and ridiculous. [LGBPTA+ protags, girl power, violence, chaos, etc.]

#more for your consideration

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eddycurrents · 6 years ago

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For the week of 17 September 2018

Quick Bits:

Amazing Spider-Man Annual #1 gives us an “untold tale” of Spider-Man shortly after Secret Wars while he still had the black costume from Saladin Ahmed, Gerry Brown, Lee Loughridge, and Joe Caramagna. It’s a nice bit of embellishment, giving us a look more at the reactions from the people around Peter and what the Venom symbiote was doing while he slept. The dark, moody art from Brown and Loughridge is perfect for this.

| Published by Marvel

Avengers #8 is a bit of a housekeeping issue from Jason Aaron, taking stock of what’s changed for this new incarnation of the team, putting together the status of the various members, and setting up the new status quo. It’s nice to see David Marquez and Justin Ponsor aboard for this arc, continuing the very high bar this volume is setting for art.

| Published by Marvel

Black Hammer: Age of Doom #5 answers all of the questions, with Jeff Lemire and Dean Ormston filling in all of the details in Lucy’s quest to find the missing heroes. It’s an interesting, and satisfying, revelation that sets up an even bigger picture and possible looming threat.

| Published by Dark Horse

Bloodborne #5 begins a new arc, returning to the city, and focusing on a scientific and religious inquiry into the nature of the affliction besetting the world. Wonderful art from Piotr Kowalski and Brad Simpson.

| Published by Titan

Burnouts #1 isn’t a bad start from Dennis Culver, Geoffo, Dave Dwonch, and Lauren Perry, riffing on the teen alien invasion vibe of things like The Faculty. The premise of needing to be high or otherwise intoxicated to see the true threat is an interesting one, leaving an obvious out as to whether or not it’s real, but this issue largely takes it at face value.

| Published by Image

Captain America Annual #1 is very well done. Tini Howard, Chris Sprouse, Ron Lim, Karl Story, Walden Wong, Scott Hanna, Jesus Aburtov, Erick Arciniega, Israel Silva, and Joe Caramagna give us a story set deep into World War 2 of Cap and Bucky behind German lines, helping a group of civilians who escaped from Stutthof.

| Published by Marvel

Death or Glory #5 sets fire to Glory’s life quite literally. This entire series so far has been damned good, moving at a breakneck pace pushing the characters harder and further with each subsequent issue. Rick Remender, Bengal, and Rus Wooton continue to deliver.

| Published by Image / Giant Generator

Dick Tracy: Dead or Alive #1 is a curious thing, embracing the odd stylistic choices of Chester Gould’s characters with Rich Tommaso and Mike Allred’s art, and the kind of throwback tone of Lee & Mike Allred’s script, but through the use of a cellphone it doesn’t seem to be a period piece. Still, it’s an entertaining beginning to this mini.

| Published by IDW

Ether: The Copper Golems #5 is the bittersweet end to this mini, setting up a new problem for Boone and co. to face in the third series, but in doing so putting him in an even more tragic situation, both in the present and in the flashback back-up. Matt Kindt & David Rubín have bottled magic with this series and I can’t recommend it highly enough.

| Published by Dark Horse

GI Joe: A Real American Hero - Silent Option #1 begins a new limited series following Bombstrike and her team’s investigation of the missing Helix. It’s a bit bloodier and more brutal than the mothership series, but given the subject of human trafficking, it’s kind of understandable. Larry Hama, Netho Diaz, Alisson Rodrigues, Jagdish Kumar, Vinicius Townsend, and Neil Uyetake put together a decent start here. There’s also a great back-up filling us in on Helix’s past from Ryan Ferrier & Kenneth Loh.

| Published by IDW

Hack/Slash: Resurrection #11 is the conclusion to the “Return to Haverhill” arc and it continues with the usual offbeat humour that Tini Howard has brought to the title. Mixing the horror with wacky hijinks.

| Published by Image

Ice Cream Man #7 might be one of the more horrifying issues of the series, telling the tale of a young girl coming to terms with the death of her best friend. That story alone is enough to pick up the issue, but it also brings back more of the ongoing story of the Ice Cream Man’s trials as well, giving us a bit more interconnectivity of what are otherwise mostly standalone tales.

| Published by Image

Immortal Hulk #6 sees Al Ewing working to put the disparate pieces of the run so far together, along with revealing at least one group of antagonists dogging Banner’s heels, and working Hulk back into the broader world of the Marvel Universe to deal with the ramifications that have been hovering since Civil War 2. Surprisingly, none of it is particularly confusing, which is a testament to how Ewing is laying this out. Also, really nice guest art from Lee Garbett (with colours from Paul Mounts).

| Published by Marvel

Impossible Incorporated #1 is a new all ages mini from JM DeMatteis and Mike Cavallaro. I have fond memories of their previous collaboration The Life & Times of Savior 28, so came into this with some fairly high expectations. They were exceeded. The premise for this series taps into the same family of adventurers dynamic of the Fantastic Four and Challengers of the Unknown, and it yields some interesting characters, weird landscapes, and phenomenal art.

| Published by IDW

Infinity Wars: Soldier Supreme #1 is the first of these Infinity Warps tie-in minis to the overarching Infinity Wars saga, blending together two of Marvel’s heroes in this new reality. In this case, Captain America and Doctor Strange. I’m not sure how much impact these will ultimately have on the event, but it’s a fun diversion. Gerry Duggan, Adam Kubert, Matthew Wilson, and Clayton Cowles deliver an entertaining beginning to this story, laying out Stephen Rogers’ origin and showcasing a number of other amalgamated heroes and a rather interesting villain. Kubert and Wilson’s art is definitely more than worth the price of admission.

| Published by Marvel

The Life of Captain Marvel #3 delivers more heartfelt and strange complications for Carol Danvers. I’m really enjoying the drama that Margaret Stohl is creating in this series, it’s really been injecting a real element of humanity in Carol that’s been missing for years.

| Published by Marvel

Mr. & Mrs. X #3 gives us an explanation for the egg that everybody and their bird-brained aunt are fighting over. This development is definitely very interesting for the cosmic side of things.

| Published by Marvel

Olivia Twist #1 is an updating of Charles Dickens’ Oliver Twist, gender-bent and worked into the future, by Darin Strauss, Adam Dalva, Emma Vieceli, Lee Loughridge, and Sal Cipriano. The premise works quite well adapted to a dystopian future, with the protections of society broken down and oppression at an all time high. Although this is set in a future Britain, it’s easy to see similar conditions in America today. What really brings the book together is the artwork from Vieceli and Loughridge.

| Published by Dark Horse / Berger Books

Patience! Conviction! Revenge! #1 is the beginning to what looks to be another beautiful sci-fi epic, starting out with a bit of a western feel, before moving on to the city. I quite like the voice that Patrick Kindlon gives to the protagonist, Renny, as he doesn’t seem to shut up. Also, the artwork from Marco Ferrari and Patrizia Comino is wonderful. Ferrari has a style that reminds me of Sean Gordon Murphy and Devmalya Pramanik and it perfectly suits a lived-in future.

| Published by AfterShock

Return of Wolverine #1 is not a terrible comic. In fact the artwork from Steve McNiven, Jay Leisten, and Laura Martin is very, very good. McNiven seems to be channelling Barry Windsor-Smith for the artwork and it’s perfect. The action and page compositions are wonderful. I can also say that the story, dialogue and such, from Charles Soule is not bad. I’m not sure if I like the implied idea of pulling Wolverine’s history from him, putting the memory genie back in the bottle when we already know his Origin, is a good idea, but his issues with Persephone and Soteira are at least interesting.

What ruins this comic, however, like the Hunt for Wolverine: Dead Ends issue, is that it renders the entire Hunt for Wolverine event superfluous. It doesn’t respect the readers’ time or money, showing that Hunt for Wolverine didn’t build to anything. There’s absolutely nothing in this comic that necessitates having read anything before it. That’s good for new readers, but it’s a crappy ploy from Marvel that manufactured an empty event that seems like its sole purpose was to bilk the customer. I feel terrible saying that, since for the most part the mini-series weren’t bad in isolation, but as a whole, it just seems like a marketing stunt. When it comes to a character like Wolverine, who has previously been associated with the idea of market oversaturation, it’s just worse.

From Marvel Legacy through to now, it doesn’t feel like there’s been any guiding hand. It doesn’t feel like there’s been any coherence between any of the appearances. It just feels like Marvel turning to some of their worst tendencies in making this past year or so a marketing ploy, tarnishing something that possibly could have been special, and ruining the return of Wolverine. Wolverine’s still dead, Marvel’s just pimping a corpse.

| Published by Marvel

Seven to Eternity #11 checks in on Adam’s family at the farm while he’s hanging around with the Mud King. Like every issue, beautiful, stunning artwork from Jerome Opeña and Matt Hollingsworth, somehow outdoing themselves with the brilliant colour schemes and impressive character designs. Also, I love the biting, almost subtle, humour that Rick Remender employs for the Mud King’s dialogue.

| Published by Image / Giant Generator

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #86 begins the Earth Protection Force’s assault on Burnow Island, the new home to the Triceratons and Utroms. The action depicted by a returning Dave Wachter (with colours by Ronda Pattison) is very nice, even as we get some interesting moral and ethical hemming and hawing from both the Turtles and Burnow’s defenders as they choose whether or not to release their war criminals to help fight against the EPF. This feels like the beginning of something very heavy.

| Published by IDW

Thor #5 resumes the King Thor story from the first issue, in the far-flung future, with a reunion between Thor and Logan. It’s not quite as bonkers a story from Jason Aaron as the opening Niffleheim arc, but it’s certainly up there. I almost get the impression that Aaron and Donny Cates are seeing how far they push the cosmic envelope at Marvel right now, between their respective series. In any event, it’s led to some great storytelling. Especially when you add guest artist Christian Ward, who just makes this a must buy.

| Published by Marvel

Venom #6 is a not-so-subtle reminder that the art team of Ryan Stegman, JP Mayer, Frank Martin, and Clayton Cowles are absolute beasts. Every issue of this series has been impeccably crafted so far and I swear that this one ups the ante. Gorgeous work from the team.

| Published by Marvel

West Coast Avengers #2 is more ridiculous fun. If you liked the first issue, this is more of that, with some even more over-the-top shenanigans with the team, as they try to get to the bottom of BRODOK. Kelly Thompson’s dialogue and humour here are a highlight, reminding me of some of best of Keith Giffen and JM DeMatteis’ work on the bwahaha era of the Justice League. A book that doesn’t take itself too seriously is a nice balm these days. Also, gorgeous artwork again from Stefano Caselli and Tríona Farrell.

| Published by Marvel

Other Highlights: Amazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows #23, Aphrodite V #3, Black Badge #2, Bonehead #4, Britannia: Lost Eagles of Rome #3, By Night #4, Coda #5, Coyotes #6, Crude #6, Curse Words #16, Days of Hate #8, Doctor Strange #5, DuckTales #12, Edge of Spider-Geddon #3, Encounter #6, Evolution #10, Flavor #6, Hit-Girl #8, Infinity 8 #6, Jeepers Creepers #5, John Wick #3, Kick-Ass #7, Lost City Explorers #4, Luke Cage #2, Lumberjanes #54, Mae #9, Mata Hari #5, Multiple Man #4, Quantum & Woody #10, Rick & Morty Presents Sleepy Gary #1, Robots vs. Princesses #2, Rumble #7, Secret Agent Deadpool #2, Shadowman #7, Star Wars #54, Star Wars: Lando - Double or Nothing #5, Stellar #4, Strangers in Paradise XXV #6, Summit #9, Superb #13, Sword of Ages #5, Usagi Yojimbo: The Hidden #6, Vagrant Queen #4, Venom: First Host #4, Witchfinder: Gates of Heaven #5

Recommended Collections: Beowulf, Cable - Volume 3: Past Fears, Coda - Volume 1, Cold War - Volume 1, Descender - Volume 6: War Machine, The Mighty Thor - Volume 4: War Thor, Ninjak vs. the Valiant Universe, Skybourne, Spider-Gwen - Volume 6: Life of Gwen Stacy, Venom - Volume 4: Nativity

d. emerson eddy enjoys doing stuff some times. And things other times. Stuff and things.

#This Week in Comics

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weekendwarriorblog · 5 years ago

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WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND October 18, 2019 - MALEFICENT, MISTRESS OF EVIL, ZOMBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP, THE LIGHTHOUSE, JOJO RABBIT

We’ll see how far I get on this week’s column because I haven’t seen nearly as much as I want to, I don’t have nearly as much time as I’d like to, and I have a lot of stuff to write for my other gig at The Beat. I know… excuses, excuses.

Well, you can probably already guess that I haven’t seen Disney’s MALEFICENT, MISTRESS OF EVIL, starring Angelina Jolie, because I never saw the original movie, and I have only been invited to one Disney movie in three years. (I got into a few thanks to being in the Critics Choice Association and there being awards screenings, but I have zero interest in this, even less in Frozen 2, and I’ll probably just use my AMC A-List to see Star Wars.)

I did see Sony’s ZOMBIELAND DOUBLE TAP, and that I really liked a lot. You can read my full review of this over at The Beat. I also interviewed director Ruben Fleischer and have an interview with writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick waiting in the wings. I’m pretty amazed that the three of them were able to get the whole gang back together, including Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, Jesse Eisenberg and Abigail Breslin

Let’s just get to what I hope you’re reading this column for...

LIMITED RELEASES

I’ll admit freely that I just didn’t have as much time to watch stuff the past week as I’d like to, so some of the movies below I just haven’t gotten around to watching but hopefully they’re as good as others have said.

There are a few “special event” screenings this week, including Kevin Smith’s JAY AND SILENT BOB REBOOT (Saban Films), which screened nationwide via Fathom Events last night and will get another screening on Thursday night. It’s actually not bad, at least compared to his last movie Yoga Hosers. This one is a direct sequel to Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, which I wasn’t a very big fan of despite liking a few of Smith’s other films like Chasing Amy and Dogma. Reboot harks back to some of Smith’s earlier work with nods to many of his previous films and cameos from almost every actor who has ever worked with him? I also interviewed Jason Mewes for The Beat, and I’ll have an interview with Harley Quinn Smith soon, too.

Also, on Saturday, Bruce Springsteen’s doc WESTERN STARS will get a nationwide screening via Fathom Events. I haven’t seen this one, and I’m not really that big a fan of the Boss, but hey, it’s happening if you’re interested.

The on Tuesday, October 22, you can see Neil Young’s latest movie Mountaintop in a one-night only event via Abramorama, the movie showing Young and his band Crazy Horse getting ready to record their first album in seven years. I haven’t watched it yet, but it’s interesting that Young is letting fans into the process, and I only recently saw Jim Jarmusch’s doc Year of the Dog, so I’m kind of in a Neil Young headspace. This one is directed by Young under his film direction pseudonym “Bernard Sharkey.”

Another movie worth seeking out this weekend is THE LIGHTHOUSE (A24), Robert Eggers’ follow-up to The Witch, this one starring Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe as two men who are sent to care for a lighthouse during a particularly turbulent storm season. Dafoe is a crusty and cranky seadog who really puts Pattinson through his paces, but as the two men are holed up together (and eventually trapped on the location), they each begin their own slow descent into madness. I’ll have an interview with Eggers up at The Beat later today where we talk about the intriguing way he made this film, and it rose out of his frustration with trying to get The Witch financed.

My Interview with Robert Eggers

The movie I was most excited to see this weekend was Taika Waititi’s JOJO RABBIT (Fox Searchlight), since I’ve been a fan of his work going all the way back to when Eagle vs. Shark debuted the Sundance Film Festival. I was really hoping I’d like this enough to feature it at the top of this column, but since it’s not there, you can read my review at the link below to find out why not. Based on Christine Leunens’s novel, it stars newcomer Roman Griffin Davis as Jojo, a 10-year-old German boy in the Hitler Youth who just can’t get his shit together, although he does have an imaginary friend in Adolf Hitler (played by Waititi) who urges the boy on. Injured in an accident, Jojo is homebound when he learns that his mother (Scarlet Johansson) has been hiding a young Jewish girl named Elsa (Thomas McKenzie from Leave No Trace) in the house attic, so he has to figure out whether to report them, or use her to learn more about Jews. You can read my review below to see that I can’t really recommend the movie wholeheartedly, but it will open in New York and L.A. this weekend and you can decide for yourself.

MY REVIEW OF JOJO RABBIT

French auteur Francois Ozon returns with BY THE GRACE OF GOD (Music Box Films), a very serious drama about three grown men (Melvil Poupaud, Denis Ménochet, Swann Arlaud) who team together to expose a priest who molested them as boys but is being protected by the Catholic Church. The story is based on the real French scandal surrounding Cardinal Philippe Barbarin who was convicted earlier this year for concealing the conduct of a preacher, Father Preynat. Ozon is coming off his excellent film Franz and the equally intriguing Double Lover, so he’s definitely upped his game from the sometimes-frivolous earlier fare for which he became known. This is a really tough movie to get through and maybe that made it harder for me to enjoy, but it’s another fine piece of filmmaking by Ozon. It opens at New York’s Film Forum and the Landmark on 57 and probably in a theater in L.A. as well.

Opening at New York’s Angelika Film Center and the Landmark on 57 is Alexis Michalik’s Cyrano My Love (Roadside Attractions) set in Paris 1897 and dealing with the relationship between playwright Edmond Rostand and actor Constant Coquelin, for what becomes the play Cyrano de Bergerac. And I have absolutely zero interest in seeing this.

Another movie that I saw and absolutely loathed was Jocelyn DeBoer and Dawn Luebbe’s GREENER GRASS (IFC Midnight), a movie that I couldn’t begin to describe except that it takes place in a suburban neighborhood where a yoga teacher has been murdered by a seria killer and all sorts of other strange things are going on. The filmmakers play best friends and soccer moms Jill and Lisa, the latter who borrows the former’s baby, but honestly, the tone of this movie reminded me about the stuff on Adult Swim that I hate such as the Tim and Eric shows and such, where it just seems to be weird for weirdness-sake, and there’s absolutely nothing that kept me even remotely interested. It opens at the IFC Center this weekend.

I still haven’t found the time to watch all of THE CAVE (National Geographic Documentary Films), Feras Fayyad’s follow-up to his Oscar-nominated film Last Man in Aleppo, but I hope to get to it fairly soon, since I was such a fan of that movie. I just need to be right in the headspace to watch this one, if it’s anything like that one.

Apple TV+’s first movie on the streaming channel will be Mark Deeble and Victoria Stone’s THE ELEPHANT QUEEN (A24), a documentary that follows the elephant matriarch Athena, who is forced to protect her family after they leave their watering hole. Although I understand the purpose of this movie to show how climate change is affecting these majestic animals, this one feels very much like something I’ve seen before from DisneyNature and others, so it didn’t really shed any new light on elephants, and it felt very much dummed down for kids. Voiced by Chiwetel Ejiofor, it will get a limited theatrical release this weekend before debuting on the channel November 1.

There are a couple other docs out this weekend, including Barbara Miller’s #FEMALEPLEASURE (Abramorama), which follows five women fighting against their patriarchal societies; Serendipity: The Story of French Artist Prune Nourry (Cohen Media Group) directed by French artist Prune Nourry; opening at New York’s Film Forum on Wednesday is Erin Derham’s doc Stuffed (Music Box Films) about taxidermists, and then there’s Julie Simone and Vicki Vlasic’s doc Fiddlin’ (playing at the Cinema Village) covers the Fiddler’s Convention.

If you’re not quite ready for Halloween, there’s the horror filmTrick (RLJEFilms) from Patrick Lussier (My Bloody Valentine, Drive Angry) about a Halloween party in 2015 where Patrick “Trick” Wever killed a bunch of his classmate and then escaped after being shot five times by a detective (Omar Epps) so everyone thinks he’s dead. But guess what? He’s not!! It also stars Jamie Kennedy and Tom Atkins.

There are a couple other movies, but the main ones you should know about are above.

LOCAL FESTIVALS

The big one this week, at least in New York, is the Brooklyn Horror Film Festival, which starts Thursday night with Jeffrey Brown’s The Beach House and continues through the weekend with Daniel Isn’t Real, Swallow, and the World Premiere Fessenden’s Depraved: Making Frankenstein a Brooklyn Loft, a making-of doc about Larry Fessenden’s latest.

Starting Friday at New York’s Cinema Village is the Wildlife Conservation Film Festival, which I really don’t know very much about, although they seem to have an interesting selection of nature docs, both features and shorts, none of which I’ve seen.

In L.A., you can catch the Animation is Film Festival starting Friday with animated movies from across the group including I’m anticipating like Makoto Shinkai’s Weathering with You, and White Snake from China, which will be in competition with films like France’s I Lost My Body. There are special events for Disney’s Frozen 2, Netflix’s Klaus, a special screening of the Chinese hit Ne Zhan and Steven Universe the Movie before it hits Apple TV+ on November 1.

Also happenin’ in New York is the Nordic International Film Festival, which is taking place at the Roxy Hotel, in case you wonder why it’s missing from the repertory section below. That’s why.

STREAMING AND CABLE

Steven Soderbergh’s THE LAUNDROMAT will arrive on Netflix this weekend, and you can read what I thought of that in my previous column here.

Streaming on Netflix Friday is Ed Perkins’ documentary TELL ME WHO I AM about the relationship between two twin brothers, Marcus and Alex Lewis. When Alex wakes up after a motorcycle accident, he relies on Marcus to fill him on who everyone else is over the next 35 years, but Marcus may be keeping a dark family secret from his brother to protect him. (It also will open theatrically at the Quad Cinema on Friday.)

Sinister 2 director Ciaran Foy’s new film Eli will start streaming on Friday, about a boy who receiving treatment for an auto-immune disorder who finds out that his house isn’t as safe as thought. It stars Kelly Reilly, Lili Taylor, Max Martini and Charlie Shotwell in the title role.

There’s also the Spanish film Diecisiete (Seventeen) from Daniel Sánchez Arévalo about a 17-year-old named Héctor who forms a bond with a dog as part of a reintegration program at his juvenile detention center. When the dog is adopted, Héctor goes on a journey to rescue him.

One of the exciting debuts on cable this weekend is HBO’s WATCHMEN series, created by Damon Lindelof, and what I’ve heard about the show is that it’s pretty good, taking place in the modern day of the world created by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons in the comics (which took place in the ‘80s.).

Also, while I haven’t seen it yet, Iranian filmmaker Babak (Under the Shadow) Anvari’s horror thriller WOUNDS will debut on Hulu this weekend, and since I have Hulu, I’ll be able to watch it! It stars Zazie Beetz, Dakota Johnson and Armie Hammer, the latter playing a bartender who has all sorts of weird things happen to him when he picks up a phone at a bar.

REPERTORY

There are a few really awesome repertory series starting this weekend as well as the return of one of New York’s primary midtown rep houses, which has been closed for renovations for most of the summer.

METROGRAPH (NYC):

Before I get to the Metrograph’s great new series starting this weekend, I want to draw special attention to Metrograph Pictures’ new 35mm print rerelease of Edo Bertoglio’s 1981 film Downtown ’81. This is a really amazing movie that stars late NYC artist Jean Michel Basquiat, and while it does show him doing his graffiti art, the movie isn’t so much worth seeing for its amazing writing or acting but for it being an amazing time capsule of New York in 1981 with performances by Kid Creole and the Coconuts, DNA, The Plastics and other No Wave bands in the year when punk was transforming into New Wave but New York bands were still experimental and arty, doing whatever it took to avoid getting into the mainstream. Metrograph releasing this reissued restored film makes sense as they were one of the first to herald Glenn O’Brien’s cable show TV Party, so if you get a chance, get down to the Metrograph where the movie will be shown exclusively probably for a week or two.

Another exciting series at my local theater as Julie Andrews will be there in person for “Blake Edwards: A Film Selection by Julie Andrews,” celebrating the life and career of her late husband. The series will include That’s Life (1986), Wild Rovers (1971), 10 (1979), the Inspector Clouseau film A Shot in the Dark (1964), 1981’s S.O.B., 1961’s Breakfast at Tiffany’s and a Members Only screening of Victor/Victoria (1982) with a QnA with the actress. Also, the Academy returns to the Metrograph for its monthly series, this one very Halloween-appropriate, as they’ll be showing Fulci’s Zombi 2 (aka Zombie) from 1979.

This week’s Late Nites at Metrograph is still David Lynch’s Mulholland Dr. (2001) and also, because the Metrograph will make any excuse to show Brian De Palma’s 2002 dog Femme Fatale… they’re showing Femme Fatale again. what gives Metrograph? You now taking cues from the IFC Center by showing the same movies over and over? Tsk, tsk… This weekend’s Playtime: Family Matinees is Brad Bird’s animated classic The Iron Giant from 1999. Welcome To Metrograph: Redux seems to be taking the weekend off, probably to make room for some of the above.

FILM FORUM (NYC):

The other series I’m really excited about is the three-week “Shitamachi: Tales of Downtown Tokyo” but I get to that, I want to mention that I had a chance to see Yoji Yamada’s Tora-San, Our Lovable Tramp (1969), which plays for two more days, and it’s quite wonderful so definitely try to get to it as this became a very popular series in Japan. Okay, back to the other Japanese series, this one runs for three weeks and it’s co-presented with the Japan Foundation. This weekend, you can see Akira Kurosawa’s Drunken Angel (1948) and Stray Dog (1949) on Friday and Saturday as well as Ozu’s Record of a Tenement Gentleman from 1947. Sunday and Monday is Kurusawa’s Ikiru (1952) and a couple others. There’s just an abundance of riches including a couple rare prints that were imported from Japan for the series. Apparently, the Film Forum thinks Milos Forman’s Hair(1979) which I just saw at the Metrograph is okay for kids, which is why it’s programmed as this week’s “Film Forum Jr.”

THE NEW BEVERLY (L.A.):

The Wednesday matinee is the classic What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962), while Weds. and Thurs. see double features of P.T. Anderson’s Inherent Vice (2014) with Jacques Demy’s Model Shop (1969). Friday’s matinee is Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992), while the weekend “Kiddee Matinee” is the Disney movie Blackbeard’s Ghostfrom 1968. (I wonder if that will be on the Disney+ service.) Friday night’s midnight movie is Robert Rodriguez’s From Dusk Til Dawnand then Saturday night is an “All Night Horror Show” which is sold out, sadly. Monday’s matinee is The People Under the Stairs (1991), and Monday and Tuesday nights are double features of Tom Laughlin’s The Born Losers (1967) and Billy Jack (1971).

MOMA (NYC):

It’s exciting news that MOMA reopens NEXT MONDAY, and their first two series are Modern Matinees: Iris Barry’s History of Filmand Vision Statement: Early Directorial Works. The first of these is an attempt to recreate some of the early film programs from the early days of the MOMA Film Library, including a screening of the 1914 film A Fool There Was on Monday, and I’ll write more about this next week. “Vision Statement” begins with Andrzej Żuławski’s The Third Part of the Night (1971) and Satyajit Ray’s 1955 film Pather Panchali, and Andrey Zvyagintsev’s 2003 film The Return and Jane Campion’s The Piano (1993) both screen on Tuesday.

ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE BROOKLYN (NYC)

I’ll be at tonight’s “Weird Wednesday” Born of Fire (1987), which is almost sold out but has a few seats left. Monday night’s “Fist City” selection is David Fincher’s 2002 movie Panic Room, starring Jodie Foster and a VERY young Kristen Stewart, while “Video Vortex” presents the horror classic A Night to Dismember: The Original Cut. Next week’s “Terror Tuesday” is 1983’s Devil Fetus, and what do you know? Julie Andrews will be there doing a QnA right after showing Blake Edwards’ 1982 movie Victor/Victoria – I wonder where they got that idea (or maybe Ms. Andrews is just doing a tour right now). Next week’s “Weird Wednesday” is the 1993 film Fire in the Sky and RottenTomatoes is hosting a party centered around The Craft (1996), which is already sold out.

EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA):

Recent Spanish Cinema 2019 continues this weekend so no rep stuff but a couple movies worth checking out are the doc The Silence of Others and the animated film Buñuel in the Labyrinth of the Turtles.

AERO (LA):

A couple “Facing Off with John Woo” double features with The Killer (1989) and Hard Boiled (1992) on Friday, and then Face/Off (1997) and Hard Target (1993) on Saturday afternoon. Saturday night is a screening of Woo’s 1990 film Bullet in the Head. Sunday is a Lina Wertmüller double feature called “Swept Away Again by Lina Wertmüller” which isThe Seduction of Mimi (1972) with Love & Anarchy (1973). Tuesday’s “Tuesdays with Lorre” will a 35mm screening of Frank Capra’s Arsenic and Old Lace (1944).

IFC CENTER (NYC)

Wednesday night’s “Movies with MZS” (aka Matt Zoller Seitz) is John Carpenter’s Prince of Darkness (1987). It doesn’t look like the IFC Center has set its Fall repertory series yet but Friday and Saturday night at midnight you can see the very first official James Bond movieDr. No(1962) and a 4k restoration of Sam Raimi’s The Evil Dead (1981).That said, “Weekend Classics: May All Your Christmases Be Noir” does begin this weekend with Nicolas Ray’s They Live by Night (1948).

MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):

“See It Big! Ghost Stories” continues this weekend with screenings of one of my all-time faves, Tobe Hooper’s Poltergeist, on Friday, and the Japanese horror classic House (Hausu) on Saturday, as well as the 1965 Japanese horror film Kwaidan, plus James Wan’s Insidiouscloses the series on Sunday evening. The “No Joke: Absurd Comedy as Political Reality” continues with 1985’s The Coca-Cola Kid on Sunday afternoon as well as William Klein’s 1969 movie Mr. Freedom, neither of which I’m familiar with. Saturday afternoon is a special screening of Marlon Brando’s 1961 film One-Eyed Jacks with an introduction by William Mann, who wrote “The Contender: The Story of Marlon Brando.”

FILM AT LINCOLN CENTER (NYC):

Freshly recovered from the New York Film Festival, FilmLinc is screening a 25th Anniversary restoration of Béla Tarr’s 1994 film Sátántangó, which also played at the film festival.

LANDMARK THEATRES NUART (LA):

Oh, it looks like the Landmark has been showing Francis Ford Coppola’s The Cotton Club Encore all week so you can see it through Thursday. This Friday night’s midnight movie is A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors from 1987.

QUAD CINEMA (NYC):

Still showing Serge Gainsbourg’s Je T’aime Moi Non Plus (1976) through the weekend.

Next week, it’s an odds and ends weekend including Deon Taylor’s new police drama Black and Blue, the high-tech horror/thriller Countdownand the historical drama The Current War, starring Benedict Cumberbatch, Tom Holland and Michael Shannon.

#WhatToWatchthisWeekend TheLighthouse Maleficent Zombieland Movies Reviews Streaming JojoRabbit

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gwynnew · 8 years ago

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Oscar Front-Runner 'La La Land' Is a Good Movie, but a Bad Musical

‘La La Land’ (Photo: StudioCanal)

How do you solve a problem like La La Land? On Tuesday the film confirmed its status as the Best Picture frontrunner, racking up 14 Oscar nominations to accompany its record-setting seven Golden Globe Awards. Whether the musical deserves an awards-season sweep has become a major point of contention among critics, fans, and the Hollywood community. Because La La Land breezed into theaters on a wave of near-universal praise from last fall’s film festivals, it was immediately a prime target for backlash — and if you’ve been following the conversation, you may already be exhausted by the back-and-forth between critics who find the film dazzling or shallow, a delightful fantasy or a whitewashed nostalgia trap. To sidestep the debate (which got heated enough to inspire an SNL sketch this weekend), the people who made La La Land are forwarding their own awards-season narrative: Everyone who made La La Land took an incredible risk on the film. Director Damien Chazelle spent years trying to get it financed, Ryan Gosling learned jazz piano, and he and Emma Stone went to dance boot camp, all for a project that could easily have flopped because it’s a musical. In one of his Golden Globe speeches earlier in January, Chazelle thanked Lionsgate “for taking the gamble, and for believing that an audience for a movie like this does exist.”

Much as I enjoyed La La Land, that story is starting to irk me. For one thing, a love letter to Hollywood starring two of its most bankable actors, directed by a rising young Oscar nominee, doesn’t score nearly as high on the “risky” scale as awards-season competitors like Moonlight and Loving, which tell challenging stories with lesser-known casts and a fraction of La La Land’s modest $30 million budget. Moreover, I think La La Land plays it far too safe when it comes to embracing the musical genre. Chazelle gets a lot of the details right — and brings the house down in the last 20 minutes — but for most of the film, he fails to do the one thing that truly defines a musical: tell a story through song.

Related: ‘La La Land’: 5 Echoes of Classic Hollywood Musicals

Most Broadway and movie musicals follow the same basic guidelines for when and how songs appear. There’s usually an opening number that defines the world and characters, like “All That Jazz” from Chicago,” “Tradition” from Fiddler on the Roof, “Oh What a Beautiful Mornin’” from Oklahoma! or “New York, New York” from On the Town. Then the main characters introduce themselves; these are known as “I want” or “I am” songs, and classic examples include “Wouldn’t It Be Loverly” from My Fair Lady, “Part of Your World” from The Little Mermaid, and “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” from The Wizard of Oz. After the characters and themes are established, songs are used to move the plot forward and clue the audience in to what the characters are thinking. These aren’t hard and fast rules — Singin’ in the Rain, for example, breaks them all — but the takeaway is that the key moments in a musical should take place during musical numbers.

Watch a scene from ‘La La Land:’

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But that’s not how Chazelle approaches La La Land. The film does have a big opening number (“Another Day of Sun”) that establishes a music-filled present-day Los Angeles, but the song doesn’t connect to the larger plot and offers only a passing glance at the main characters. (Chazelle has said that he considered cutting it to get to the story faster.) After the song is done, the film separately introduces Mia (Stone) and Sebastian (Gosling). The next musical number, “Someone in the Crowd,” is sung by Mia’s three roommates — characters we never see again — and then by a chorus at the party they attend. Then Mia and Sebastian, who’ve encountered each other twice now, finally meet during another party scene. Afterwards, as they each try to find their cars, they sing a flirty song — more like half a song, really — about how they don’t care for each other at all (“A Lovely Night”).

All of which is to say: The audience doesn’t hear the characters sing, or see them dance, until the film’s third song. At that point, Mia and Sebastian have had plenty of screen time, but the musical seems to be happening around them, at the edges of the film, rather than unfolding with the main characters at the center. Even “A Lovely Night” doesn’t further their story; it’s really just a button on the meet-cute party scene that already happened (which may be why the song is so short).

Why does Chazelle go so long without allowing his main characters to sing? The director explained that choice in an interview with Vulture about the first party scene. “Emma really lets this number dance around her,” he said. “We were saving our ammo for a duet that comes later with Ryan. We didn’t want to give away too much — like how you wait before you really see the shark in Jaws.”

By comparing Gosling and Stone’s singing and dancing to the shark in Jaws, Chazelle seems to admit that he views La La Land’s musical numbers as a special effect, rather than the main thrust of the story. And that plays out in the way he structures the film: As the story unfolds, the songs offer us a little something extra, a melodic chaser for Mia and Sebastian’s scenes. At very few points, though, do La La Land’s songs carry the film.

Related: Out of Tune: 8 Startlingly Offensive Songs From Classic Hollywood Musicals

This is an extremely different approach from that of the classic films that inspired La La Land. In musicals like Singin’ in the Rain and The Wizard of Oz (both of which Chazelle has cited as influences), song and dance are more than a gimmick; they’re the language through which the story is told. Think about how thinly sketched the character of Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz would seem without Judy Garland singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” or how much heart and humor would disappear from Singin’ in the Rain if the characters talked more and danced less. It’s just as true for The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, the 1964 French musical to which La La Land is most often compared, which is entirely set to music and sung.

It almost feels like Chazelle was trying to have it both ways, to make a musical that wasn’t too much of a musical. You can also see him hedging his bets with his collaborators, choosing jazz composer Justin Hurwitz over any number of Broadway songwriters (though he wisely hired Tony nominees Benj Pasek and Justin Paul as lyricists), and casting lead actors who don’t identify themselves as singers or dancers. (John Legend does show up in a small role, but Chazelle keeps his considerable talent in the background, so as not to upstage Gosling.) As the director told People, “What’s so great about a musical is — when it works — the genre has the potential for emotion that’s unmatched by any other. But when it doesn’t, there is nothing as embarrassing.”

The thing is that making a musical requires the risk of embarrassment: the willingness to put it all out there, to shoot for the moon and risk falling flat, is absolutely necessary. When Chazelle does take that leap, and let the songs carry his story — when the characters fall in loving during a magical waltz at Griffith Observatory, or when Mia bares her soul during her audition song — the movie soars. And the final dream ballet is a masterstroke of storytelling, a portrait of nostalgia and regret that’s both funny and profoundly sad: the kind of scene that can be uniquely accomplished through song.

Related: Marni Nixon Dies at 86 — From Marilyn Monroe to Audrey Hepburn, Here Are the Best of Her “Ghost” Vocals

If only all of La La Land had the conviction of its final act. That audition song in the second half of the movie, “The Fools Who Dream,” tells the audience more about Mia in three minutes than we learned in the previous 90 minutes. In the spirit of La La Land’s dream ballet, imagine an alternate version of the film that was made of such moments: One in which Sebastian conveys his passion for jazz through dancing instead of grumbling, one in which Mia’s hope and heartbreak are worn on her sleeve from the very beginning of the film. A musical that’s not afraid to be a musical.

And honestly, are musicals even so “risky” anymore? In 2016, four musicals were performed on network television, Beyoncé debuted an album in the form of a movie, and a Broadway cast album hit No. 3 on the Billboard charts. Granted, original musicals are a tough sell, but so is anything original in the contemporary entertainment world. As much as we think of the musical as old-fashioned, it’s a genre that still speaks to people. A riskier version of La La Land would have fully embraced that genre and might have had more to say.

Get an inside look at how the world of ‘La La Land’ was built:

yahoo

Related: Oscar Nominations: Snubs and Surprises

#_author:Gwynne Watkins #movie:la-la-land #_uuid:bf4b37d0-8a61-3ab4-90c1-d3694fdbbbba #_revsp:wp.yahoo.movies.us #awards #_lmsid:a0Vd000000AE7lXEAT #oscars

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mrmichaelchadler · 7 years ago

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Thumbnails Special Edition: Women Writers Week 2018

Women Writers Week has been an outstanding success in every respect. I am so proud of all the amazing female writers who have contributed their voices to our site over the past five days. For this special edition of Thumbnails, I am celebrating all of them, while highlighting a handful of excerpts showcasing their talents. For our official table of contents, click here. You can also find my personal introduction to #WomensWritersWeek here. And please know that each of our contributors write powerful articles and reviews either here, or at their own websites and print media all year long. A hearty thanks to all!—Chaz Ebert

"It Takes an Army": Carrie Rickey takes a close look at the disparity between male and female directors and the people fighting to correct it. See also: Jennifer Merin's optimistic take on the future for women in the industy; Olivia Collette's reflections on the documentary "Searching for Debra Winger"in light of the #MeToo movement; and Joyce Kulhawik's conversation with legendary burlesque queen Tempest Storm.

“Since 1998, Martha Lauzen, professor at San Diego State University, and head of the Center for Women in Television and Film, has published the annual Celluloid Ceiling report tracking film employment, the ‘Boxed In’ report, that does the same for women’s employment in TV, and ‘It’s a Man’s World,’ tracking representation of women on the big and small screens. In the 1990s, she read newspaper articles about how women were doing better in film and TV. The reports were anecdotal—they were about the unicorns, or exceptions—and had no correlation with what she was seeing on the big and small screens, and in the credits. ‘I started conducting research on an annual basis to accurately document women’s underemployment, and to build industry awareness,’ she wrote in an email. It didn’t occur to her that it would take decades to build momentum and ‘for the demographics of the country to help push it along.’ The Center tracks employment for women in all areas behind the camera, from cinematographer to screenwriter. (Lauzen was the first to provide statistics showing how a woman director boosts the number of women on the set: on films with exclusively male directors, women accounted for only 15% of editors and 5% of cinematographers. On films with female directors, the percentages of women editors rose to 35%, and cinematographers to 26%.)”

"How to Create Sex Scenes That Women Will Enjoy as Much as Men": An undervalued topic is given a wonderful analysis by Olivia Collette. See also: Violet LeVoit article on the representation of C-sections in American movies; and Kristen Lopez's two excellent articles, "On the Representation of Disabled Women in Cinema" and "Disability Theater Access in 2018."

“When critics focused on Lena Dunham’s body during her sex scenes in ‘Girls,’ they often missed how much women enjoyed watching those scenes. It wasn’t just the comedic awkwardness of some of it; it’s that we were seeing women with developed sexual appetites enjoying sex on their own terms. Marnie runs to the bathroom to masturbate after an artist speaks to her commandingly. Jessa wears her sexuality like armor. And Hannah loves to experiment, even if it garners mixed results. They govern their sex lives, and they have fun doing it. Elsewhere, ‘Basic Instinct’ is a fucked-up film, and though it ultimately equates Catherine’s murderousness with her ravenous bisexuality, it also has the balls to show us a woman who loves sex and is in complete control of the sex she’s having. Not only is it hot to watch, the movie makes it quite clear that sex with Catherine is amazing.”

"'Phantom Thread,' Jane Eyre and the Power Dynamics of the Hetero Romance": An amazing, in-depth exploration of the literary legacy of Paul Thomas Anderson's latest Oscar-winner. See also: Jessica Ritchey's case for how "Night of the Living Dead" destroyed Hammer films; Elena Lazic's impassioned defense of "The Greatest Showman"; and the 30th anniversary of "Working Girl," as commemorated by Christy Lemire, Sheila O'Malley and Susan Wloszczyna.

“While this resolution has the thrill of the unexpected within the context of the film’s narrative, it also had a ring of familiarity, recalling another great story of a man’s domestication: Jane Eyre. Jane is a small, poor young woman who works for the rich, overpowering Mr. Rochester. They fall in love, though their relationship is an ongoing battle of wills, as strong-willed Jane attempts to remain her own master while Rochester both loves her strength and treats her as something of a possession, expecting the ease and subservience his maleness and wealth and power have always afforded him. Jane leaves Rochester (mad wife in the attic—you know how it is), grows, turns down a proposal from a man who doesn’t love her, and conveniently inherits her own wealth. When she returns to Rochester, she finds him scarred, blind, and short a hand (that mad wife, again!). Rather than harming their relationship, this development—which has calmed him, made him meeker, less certain, more dependent—is the linchpin that finally makes their relationship tenable. Like Alma and Reynolds, it allows them to settle into an ideal and idealized marriage, complete with baby.”

"Return of 'Roseanne' Marked by Notable Highs and Lows": The popular TV reboot is given a sublime review by Allison Shoemaker. See also: Shoemaker's review of FX's "The Americans"; and Jana Monji's essays on ABC's "The Good Doctor" and Netflix's "Lost in Space".

“If the show has a weakness outside of its off-putting ‘topical’ moments, it’s Barr’s portrayal of the still-compelling central figure. She’s as charismatic as she ever was, with great timing and that terrific laugh, but there’s a hesitancy to her performance, particularly in the first episode, that was rarely, if ever, in evidence the first time around. That’s a quality that does eventually seem to fade—in the second episode, she’s back in fine form—but whether due to nerves, a little rustiness, or some other factor entirely, the spark is somewhat diminished. The same can be said of both Goranson and Fishman, though like Barr, Goranson seems more at ease as the series progresses. And while you couldn’t call the newest Connor kids rusty, the young actors recruited for this go-round lack the relaxed quality that made the young Goranson and Gilbert’s performances so memorable. Still, they all have a quality that’s essential to the show’s DNA: they can layer in the world-weariness, sorrow, or slight touch of bitterness that allow the jokes to land all the harder, because they feel so real. These characters are funny. They find life funny. But the reality isn’t funny at all.”

"King in the Wilderness": A must-read four-star review penned by Arielle Bernstein. See also: Monica Castllo's review of "Acrimony"; Tomris Laffly's review of "Birthmarked"; Tina Hassannia's review of "The China Hustle"; Susan Wloszczyna's review of "Finding Your Feet"; Jessica Ritchey's review of "First Match"; Justine Smith's review of "Gemini"; Sheila O'Malley's reviews of "God's Not Dead: A Light in the Darkness" and "The Last Movie Star"; Nell Minow's review of "Love After Love"; Allison Shoemaker's review of "Outside In"; and Christy Lemire's review of "Ready Player One".

“‘King in the Wilderness’ is a quiet and understated film, which lingers lovingly on its subject. We see Dr. King’s famous sermons at the pulpit, and also see him sitting quietly with family and friends. Regardless of whether King is performing to a crowd or sharing a private moment with someone dear to him, his gentle and determined spirit permeates every scene. This is true in the actual found footage, as well as moments that capture his friend’s recollections about the kind of man he was. These interviews convey King’s private hopes, as well as fears, frustrations, and doubts. We learn that King had a great sense of humor, worried about his ability to be a good father and husband, and wrestled with his ability to lead under the threat of violence to his own person. At one point, he develops a tic when he speaks, which eventually resolves on its own. When his friend asks about it, he explain ‘I made my peace with death.’”

Image of the Day

Filmmaker Andrew Haigh chats with Tomris Laffly about his acclaimed, beautifully shot new movie, "Lean on Pete."

Video of the Day

vimeo

The Life of a Woman, Directed by Women from emma piper-burket on Vimeo.

I absolutely love Emma Piper-Burket's new video essay, "The Life of a Woman, Directed by Women," spanning 122 years and containing clips of trailblazing artists on every content.

from All Content https://ift.tt/2IgokZ4

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allspark · 7 years ago

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It’s time for our weekly Diamond Comics Shipping List! Check out some great titles IDW has in store for us this coming week like Transformers vs. The Visionaries, Ghostbusters: Answer the Call, Goosebumps: Monsters at Midnight, Star Wars Forces of Destiny, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and more! All coming your way for January 3rd!

TRANSFORMERS VS THE VISIONARIES #1

Magdalene Visaggio (A/CVR A) Fico Ossio (CVR B) Andrew Griffith

Cybertron has been invaded. The Transformers encounter unwelcome guests at the heart of Cybertron-and they may not have their hosts’ best interests at heart. Refugees from another world, the Visionaries’ startling magical abilities could make them powerful allies… or dangerous enemies. • Welcome Eisner-nominated writer Magdalene Visaggio (Kim and Kim, Quantum Teens are Go, Secret Empire: Brave New World, Edge of the Venomverse) to the IDW family! • The Visionaries make their explosive return to comics! • Magic vs. metal!

GHOSTBUSTERS ANSWER THE CALL #2

Kelly Thompson (A/CVR A) Corin Howell (CVR B) Emma Vieceli

“What Dreams May Come” Part 2! The hot new evil in town is terrorizing Manhattan and feeding off the population’s fears in order to grow even more powerful. With a big bad growing by the second in scope and ambition, our heroes find themselves caught in nightmares based on their own fears… and their pasts! • This is it! Don’t miss the ladies from the 2016 film in their very own series! • Want to see what our ladies fear most? Here’s your first and best chance! • You DON’T want to see what Kevin fears most. Oh, you do? Well, okay, but we tried to warn you!

GOOSEBUMPS MONSTERS AT MIDNIGHT #2

Jeremy Lambert (A/CVR A) Chris Fenoglio (CVR B) Drew Rausch

Trapped in HorrorLand, sisters Mia and Ginny have no hope of escape… that is until a little Horror named Irk mentions the gate on the other side of the Scream-Park! Only problem is the never-ending nightmares that stand in their way! And did someone say something about a dummy? Oh, sorry! I didn’t mean- AAAAAGGHH! • Age-appropriate spooks, creeps, and things that go bump in the night…for today’s generation of kids, discovering Goosebumps for themselves! • Kids of all ages will enjoy seeing their favorite Goosebumps monsters back for more blood! • The first part of a new series of Goosebumps stories in three parts!

STAR WARS ADV FORCES OF DESTINY LEIA

Elsa Charretier, Pierrick Colinet (A/CVR A&B) Elsa Charretier

The Star Wars Forces of Destiny initiative celebrates the inspiring stories of iconic heroes from a galaxy far, far away…. Star Wars Adventures has joined the festivities with an exciting weekly series of comic books that explores all corners of the Star Wars universe, showing how choices both big and small ultimately shape the destinies of beloved characters, such as Princess Leia, Rey, Padme, Ahsoka, and Hera along with your soon-to-be favorites from The Last Jedi, Rose and Paige! Fans will be excited to discover these stories told by talent from across Star Wars novels, comics and animation, including Delilah S. Dawson, Elsa Charretier, Beth Revis, Jody Houser, and Devin Grayson! • Each issue has a variant cover by Elsa Charretier! Collect all five! • Featuring your favorite classic Star Wars characters and a couple of brand new favorites!

TMNT DIMENSION X TP

Paul Allor, Ulises Farinas, Ryan Ferrier (A) Michael Dialynas, Damian Couceiro (CVR) Cory Smith

Turtles… IN SPACE! The brothers make an interstellar journey to different planets in Dimension X to save key witnesses in the Trial of Krang from assassination! Weird new characters, places, and events abound! This mini-series introduces an all-new villain, Hakk-R, into the world of the TMNT, directly affecting the events of the main ongoing series in this dimension-altering adventure.

TMNT UNIVERSE #18

Paul Allor (A/CVR B) Tyler Boss (CVR A) Freddie Williams II

The Turtles fight to save their city, but become trapped in tight quarters when NYC is evacuated. Will they find a way to freedom without driving each other crazy?

IDW Comics Shipping List for January 3rd! It's time for our weekly Diamond Comics Shipping List! Check out some great titles IDW has in store for us this coming week like…

#Answer the Call #Diamond Shipping List #Ghostbusters #IDw Comics #Princess Leia #Star Wars #Star Wars Adventures: Forces of Destiny #TF #The Visionaries #TMNT #TMNT Dimension X #TMNT Universe #Transformers vs The Visionaries #Transformes #Visionaries

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placetobenation · 7 years ago

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September 11, 2017

From the Honda Center in Anaheim, CA

Your hosts are Michael Cole, Corey Graves, and Booker T

The show starts off with a moment of silence to pay tribute to those lives lost on September 11th, 2001.

We are shown a clip of the John Cena/Roman Reigns confrontation from last week.

Roman Reigns vs. Jason Jordan

Jordan offers a handshake to Reigns but gets stared down instead. Reigns laughs off Jordan after tying up then soon after that starts hammering away. Jordan catches Reigns and hits an overhead suplex and goes to work in the corner as Cole hypes up tonight’s Cena vs. Braun Strowman match. Reigns surprises Jordan with a clothesline then hits ten more in the corner. He follows with a big boot but Jordan blocks a Superman Punch and puts Reigns in a crossface. Reigns reaches the ropes then heads out for a breather as we go to commercial. The match returns with Reigns beating on Jordan. We see Cena watching the match backstage on a monitor as Reigns stays in control. Reigns follows a suplex with a chinlock then hits a Samoan Drop for a nearfall. Jordan backs Reigns into the corner then catches a kick and hits a capture suplex as both men are down. Jordan hits a clothesline for two then wins a slugfest and starts running wild. He drives Reigns into the corner and waits for him to head out to hit a belly-to-belly but Reigns fights out. Jordan then hits another suplex for a nearfall then lowers the straps before hitting rolling Northern Lights suplexes but that still cannot put Reigns away. Jordan goes back to the crossface but Reigns is able to make it to the ropes. Reigns comes back with the Drive By then the Superman Punch before hitting the spear for the win (15:20) ***1/4. After the match, Reigns stares down Jordan then extends his hand as they shake. The camera cuts to Cena backstage.

Thoughts: Jordan continues to show great fire in the ring but the crowd still does not care. Its a shame his character was presented in such an awful manner. Sure, Jordan got some cheers but just about anyone going up against Reigns will and no one bought him as having a chance. He will have an awfully hard time getting the crowd to care going forward too.

Charly Caruso interrupts Cena and asks if he has anything to say to Reigns. Cena says he does but will do so in the ring as leaves just before commercial.

We return from break with Cena heading out to the ring as Reigns was waiting in the corner. Cena tosses Reigns a mic then wants him to explain himself after what he did last week when interrupting to chastise Cena for barely being able to beat Jordan. Cena wants Reigns to explain himself and not just say one line like “it’s my yard.” Reigns says he is out there having a great match, something Cena knows nothing about. Reigns says he has had more great matches in the past two years than Cena has in his entire career. Cena is laughing and says Reigns “buried himself.” He puts over Reigns skills but that he has his head “up his ass” for thinking he runs the WWE. Cena tells Reigns he is here to cut him down to size. Cena says he challenges himself daily while telling Reigns he will learn what real failure is all about and if he’s “the guy” he’ll show us what he is all about. Cena is about to leave but Reigns tells him to bring his “bitch ass” back. Reigns tells Cena he came to RAW and called him out. Reigns puts over how business is great now and he’s sold more tickets than Cena and suggests Cena needs the WWE because he cannot cut it in Hollywood. Reigns even jokes that he knows a guy in Hollywood that can help. Cena then tells Reigns at No Mercy, consider him like a drug test because “he ain’t getting past him.

Once again, these segments are not helping Reigns. I’m sure he’ll win at No Mercy but he’s been exposed as wooden and someone who quite frankly lacks the presence of someone you would make the focal point of the WWE. They are also losing their effectiveness and this was easily the weakest verbal joust to date. However, this match remains high profile and intriguing.

Emma vs. Sasha Banks

Alexa Bliss is on commentary. Emma stomps away in the corner but Sasha fights back. Emma hits a clothesline then Nia Jax’s music hits as stands on the ramp then heads over to Alexa and orders her off the chair as we head to break. We return with Nia sitting next to Alexa as Emma gets a nearfall with a running body block in the corner but shortly after that Sasha takes her over in the Banks Statement and gets the win (7:16) *.

Thoughts: Man, did this match die live. The focus was on Alexa and Nia as they will likely feud after No Mercy. Sasha is now an afterthought and Emma is likely involved to eat the pin during the Fatal Four Way. The RAW’s Women Division remains a mess.

A video package on last week’s cage match between Braun Strowman and Big Show airs.

Brock Lesnar & Paul Heyman come out to the ring. Heyman tells us that his job is to sell us on Lesnar’s match against Braun Strowman at No Mercy. He puts over how Strowman slammed Lesnar around then laid him out the following night as Heyman says for the first time, Lesnar is facing a bigger and more powerful opponent. However, Heyman wants to know if Strowman is “badder” than Lesnar and he better be all three in order to rip the Universal Title from his hands. Heyman compares Strowman to Lesnar in 2002 when he was billed as the “next big thing” but wants to know if Strowman is going to be ready at No Mercy. Heyman then brings up when Lesnar was locked inside of the “Brocktagon” and before he fought they asked if he was ready. Lesnar says he is as Heyman hypes than up but Strowman runs out and they brawl. Lesnar hits a German suplex but Strowman pops right back up as Lesnar is in a state of shock. Strowman hits a chokeslam then the powerslam before picking up the Universal Championship belt and laying it across Lesnar. Best segment of the night. They’ve done a masterful job in building up Strowman. The crowd digs him and he does have the presence Reigns sorely lacks. I don’t see Lesnar dropping the strap but do wonder what kind of finish they come up with to protect Strowman.

Later tonight, Enzo Amore will be the guest on “Miz TV” but next Bray Wyatt is in action.

Booker T thanks the WWE Universe for their continued support for the victims of Hurricane Harvey as the Red Cross number flashes on the screen.

Bray Wyatt tells his opponent, Goldust, he watched him for a long time. He used to think Goldust was different but now thinks he’s just afraid and covering his insecurities with paint. He calls Goldust a mere mortal and all he can do is run.

Goldust vs. Bray Wyatt

Last time we saw Goldust, he was telling us about finding his next star in an angle seemingly gone by the wayside. Goldust takes control early but Bray takes him down then hammers away. Goldust avoids a senton then hits him with a senton of his own from the apron. Bray gets rolled inside but is able to take out Goldust then hits the Sister Abigail for the win (2:06) *. After the match, Bray pulls out a rag and wipes off Goldust’s face paint and yells how he is just a man like Finn Balor but Balor runs out for the save.

Thoughts: Fine for a squash match but this Bray/Balor feud needs to end. Its doing nothing but hurting Balor in the long run. If there ever was a guy that needed to switch brands, its him because he’s floundering at the moment. The Bray Wyatt character makes me want to reach for the remote and you can see how ineffective he is at the moment.

Charly is backstage with Cesaro & Sheamus. They see Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson as more of a threat than Dean Ambrose & Seth Rollins because they are an actual team whereas Rollins & Ambrose are just enjoying the good times of their reunion tour. Cesaro & Sheamus promise to take care of Gallows & Anderson tonight as they believe Rollins & Ambrose will destruct and throw each other under the bus as they vow to reclaim the Tag Team Titles.

Gallows & Anderson head out to the ring with Rollins & Ambrose on commentary. Rollins & Ambrose stare down Cesaro & Sheamus as they make their entrance as they start brawling. Gallows & Anderson run down and beat on the champs before brawling with Cesaro & Sheamus. Rollins & Ambrose fight back until several officials run out to break up the fight.

Ambrose & Rollins are backstage with GM Kurt Angle. They want to face both teams tonight but Angle does not want to jeopardize the No Mercy Tag Team Championship match so he says they need to find another team to pair with in a 4 vs. 4 match. Ambrose doesnt care if he has to get “Mickey Mouse & Batman” as they’ll find someone. They leave as Angle says he thinks Mickey & Batman will make a good team.

A video hyping the debut of Asuka airs. After that, we are shown Nia shaking her head. Alexa enters. She tells Nia about Angle trying to steal their spotlight and tries to suck up to Nia, who says they are not friends. Alexa then apologizes for not giving her a title opportunity sooner. Nia then says she spoke to Angle and their 1 vs. 1 match will happen next week. She leaves as Alexa looks worried.

Elias is in the ring. He tells us that walking with him is the best decision we will make in our lives. Elias then sings us a song about the best thing to do in Anaheim being packing your bags and leaving and how much the town sucks. However, he is interrupted by Kalisto as these two will face off.

Elias vs. Kalisto

Kalisto kicks Elias a few times to start. He follows with a crossbody then flies outside with a somersault senton. Elias fights back after yanking Kalisto down on the apron then stomps a mudhole in the corner. He follows with a clothesline that gets two before going to work on the arm. Kalisto manages a two count with a rollup then runs wild. He gets a nearfall with a tornado DDT but is then caught and flattened with a powerbomb then Elias hits the Drift Away for the win (4:28) **.

Thoughts: This was alright but the crowds are not caring for Elias from bell-to-bell. Part of that may be due to it better fitting a smaller wrestler that could run away and someone you want to see get their ass kicked instead of a muscular guy facing off against smaller wrestlers. Kalisto continues to flounder on the main roster and you have to wonder why they haven’t made him part of the Cruiserweight Division.

Replay of Strowman laying out Lesnar is shown.

John Cena vs. Braun Strowman

Cole lets us know that Big Show needed surgery after facing Strowman last week. Cena looks nervous then gets shoved outside by Strowman. Cena avoids Strowman then grabs a side headlock. Strowman clotheslines Cena then hammers away. Cole calls Cena the greatest WWE Superstar of all-time as Cena manages a dropkick. However, Strowman runs across the ring to hit a dropkick of his own then follows with an avalanche in the corner. Cena fights back and tries for the AA but that fails as Strowman sends him to the mat. Strowman eats boot on a corner charge but comes back to hit Cena with a fallaway slam as we head to break. The match returns with Strowman in control as we see a clip of him whipping Cena into the steps. Cena reverses an Irish whip and sends Strowman into the apron then back inside tries another AA but collapses as Strowman covers for a two count. Cena avoids a charge in the corner and hits a Saito suplex. Cena tries for the Five Knuckle Shuffle but Strowman pops up and catches him with a spinebuster for a two count as we see Reigns watching the match from the locker room. Cena finally catches Strowman with the AA but Strowman rolls outside. Cena heads out but Strowman smashes him in the head with the stairs. Strowman then puts the steps in the ring and powerslams Cena on top of them but that causes the ref to signal for the DQ (13:05) **1/4. After the match, Strowman mocks Cena then we see Reigns smile backstage. Charly asks Reigns about his thoughts on what just happened but he is focused on No Mercy.

Thoughts: A one-sided match with a weak finish since Strowman used the stairs as a weapon prior to being disqualified. It never felt special either and this was a fresh matchup that could have made for weeks of compelling TV. Maybe they play off of the fact Strowman manhandled Cena in the future but I’m not holding my breath. And this does nothing for Cena in his feud with Reigns.

Rollins & Ambrose are roaming the halls searching for partners. They see two kids then Dean Malenko & Jamie Noble but note they are in suits and not ready to fight. However, they see the Hardy Boyz and asks if they are doing anything tonight as Matt notes they are doing “positively wonderful” and they talk but the camera cuts away.

Miz TV with guest Enzo Amore. Cole plugs Smackdown in Las Vegas that features three titles and an appearance by Vince McMahon, who will confront Kevin Owens. The show starts off with Miz & Maryse giving us the announcement that they are having a baby. The crowd does the “Yes” chant as the two kiss with Miz pledging to be with their child, unlike Kurt Angle. Miz then prepares a speech but is interrupted by Enzo. We get the usual routine from Enzo but Miz is upset. Miz tells Enzo this is his show and he will do the introductions. Enzo says he is here to congratulate them both and offends Miz, who then goes off on him. Miz says that Enzo never knows when to shut up and that’s why he is kicked off of tour buses and the locker room. Miz then says there was nowhere else for him to go but the Cruiserweight Division since the entire RAW roster cannot stand him and notes this is coming from himself, someone who had to fight and crawl for respect after years. Miz then tells Enzo he sees a lot of talent in him but keeps making mistakes. Miz says that Neville hones his craft and perfects his work in the ring while he just wants to chill with “third-rate rappers.” He notes that his meal ticket in Cass is not around and that he’s just a con artist with a few catchphrases. Enzo reminds us he is the realest guy in the room and tells “Mikey” they have nothing in common. He calls out Miz for copying Chris Jericho and Ric Flair while saying he is original and is going on to become the Cruiserweight Champion to defeat Neville and after that will have no problem beating a paper champion like Miz, who asks the crowd if they think he’s a paper champion. Miz then tells Enzo if he was championship material is best friend would not have abandoned him but Enzo says he has all he needs to fight Miz right now. Miz tells Enzo he will show him how to walk, talk, and act like a champion and will dedicate his victory to his unborn child. Enzo then says Daniel Bryan was right and there is one word to describe him and that is SAWFT.

For some reason the company thinks we should still cheer Enzo after segments like this and goes to show you just how out of touch the creative team is in presenting likable characters you want to get behind and have succeed. Who wants to root for a guy no one can stand and gets kicked off of buses while on tour? When this ended, I was all for Miz beating the crap out of Enzo.

Miz w/ Maryse & Miztourage vs. Enzo Amore

Enzo mocks Miz after dodging a few attacks in the corner. They then work an ugly sequence that has both guys in the ropes before Enzo slides outside. Enzo grabs the mic and tells Miz is “wrestling” is going straight to DVD and has Miz chase him around. Miz dodges a baseball slide and clotheslines Enzo grabs the mic and asks Enzo how he is doing and repeatedly slams his head against the apron while screaming into the mic. Miz gets cut off the top rope as Enzo takes the mic and needs to ask his baby “Who’s your daddy” but that causes Miz to go ballistic. Enzo gets dumped and the Miztourage beat him down for the DQ (3:02) DUD. A “whose your daddy” chant breaks out as Miz hits Enzo with the Skull Crushing Finale.

Thoughts: A terrible segment. I suppose Enzo feuds with Miz after facing Neville at No Mercy but what we saw in the ring was brutal, even if it was just for a few minutes.

Tomorrow night, TJP will face Rich Swann as 205 Live immediately follows the Mae Young Classic.

Enzo is hurting backstage then looks over to see Neville, who starts laughing.

Cesaro & Sheamus & Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson vs. Seth Rollins & Dean Ambrose & Hardy Boyz

Everyone brawls before the bell. Things settle down with Jeff beating on Cesaro. Matt and Sheamus mix out up after that then Matt dumps him and Cesaro and tags Jeff for the Poetry in Motion to the outside as we head to break. The match returns with Ambrose beating on Anderson. Gallows super kicks Ambrose off of the apron then Ambrose gets beat on in the corner. The heels continue to cut off the ring then we have a major screwup as Matt was supposed to break up the pin but tripped getting into the ring and the ref stopped the count, with Corey trying to cover by saying the ref stopped when he saw Matt from the corner of his eye. Gallows & Anderson drag Matt outside then Anderson beats on Ambrose for a bit. Ambrose fights back with a neckbreaker but Gallows prevents a tag. Ambrose fights out of a Magic Killer attempt then avoids a charging Sheamus then finally makes the tag. Rollins runs wild on Anderson then the match breaks down. Cesaro & Sheamus end up leaving then Anderson tries a sneak attack but is hit with the ripcord knee smash then put away with the Dirty Deeds (13:16) **1/4.

Thoughts: This was quite sloppy at times but the faces won to send the crowd home happy. The Hardy Boyz both look like they are hurting, especially Matt who struggled mightily in limited action. The end made sense since Cesaro & Sheamus do not like Gallows & Anderson, who are portrayed as being a level below the other three teams.

Final Thoughts: The Strowman/Lesnar confrontation was awesome and the Jordan vs. Reigns match was good but there were too many ineffective segments tonight. Plus, how the company currently presents their babyface characters is just baffling. People generally do not want to cheer for those who are annoying, incompetent, or the office favorite. Not just in wrestling but in shows or in all other walks of life. In 2017 WWE, these are traits displayed by babyface talents. The top of the card at No Mercy looks good but the rest is struggling.

#IFTTT #Place to Be Nation

0 notes

grizzlefur · 7 years ago

Text

WWEm - M. Night Parablamyan

You’ll be pleased to hear that Comic Sans has gone on indefinite leave. Also, the formatting has now become single line spacing, until I find I don’t like it or something. Let me know if you like it/love it/don’t give a monkey’s butt.

As ever, Emma can be found on Twitter as @Waruce, usually during PPVs.

Transmission date: Monday 12/Tuesday 13 June 2017.

all up in this bitch, cos it's SATURDAY AFTERNOON RAW! raise your hands if you can't remember thing one that's been happening on raw shit, can't type with my hands raised rescind that last advance warning: if i make more mistakes than usual in this writeup, extend me some leniency on account of i can barely see straight, because it's fucking summer so my eyes are full of TREE SPERM and MUCILAGE and THE DEATH OF ALL THINGS seriously, it's a party but oversharing aside, let's watch some wrestlemans and wrestlewomans, although the raw wrestlewomans' division needs to figure out what the fuck it's doing

we open with a recap of joe talking shit to an absent devil who i think is going to be turning up this week? i say that like i care and also him choking the life out of a small portly jewish man and being the most well-spoken kind of psychopath snapping into the present, we're apparently in the cajundome and immediately hit brock's music hey, they know what the fans want now i just need to figure out why they want that so yes, the championship is here, attached to the walking embodiment of technically-legal masking agents but thankfully, only paul has a mic apparently this is the day of joe's fuckupening i paraphrase, but i wish i wasn't "Like a shark luring the chum into his domain..." paul, i think we need to take you to seaworld or some shit apparently joe was somehow abusing brock's ring, despite the whole bit where he hasn't been here in a couple of months paul is hastily retracting everything complimentary he said about joe last week and now throwing shade about the fact that joe's not part of the anoa'i dynasty? that's certainly an esoteric burn the angle is that the coquina clutch would probably fuck brock up, but joe won't be able to get it on him because he ain't shit related note: can we have a moratorium on white dudes calling poc a 'mutt' or similar? leaves something of a bad taste joe arrives, him and brock immediately unload on each other kurt sends in security, brock kills them all, so paul calls in the whole roster to pull them apart and they kind of suck at it leave security to the pros, guys all the faces are clinging onto joe like he's the messiah and end thing, apparently tonight's main event is kkb/hardyz for the title round #34982, but this time it's two out of three falls cut for ads, and we come back on a recap video of the exact thing we just watched i know i say my memory's bad, but seriously booker's still here, because shut up with your reasons

but now, here's elias and his guitar and his array of scarves weirdly, this crowd seems pretty split on him he's written a song about the brave inhabitants of the cajundome asks the crowd to be quiet while he plays, cole immediately starts talking so yeah, this is a song about how louisiana and dean ambrose aren't collectively shit so here he comes elias, please never try and rhyme 'breath' with 'darkNESS' again recap video of the deep strangeness of miz's championship celebration aka, The Day Mike Fucked A Clock With A Chair (and offended his wife) i did like the ending of it, though it's nice to have the cameramen acknowledged as something that exists in-universe elias samson is present, so naturally corey is immediately salty as fuck he hates dean, too, but seriously "The man has the vocal stylings of a pigeon that's been stepped on!" (fun fact: i would probably listen the hell out of an elias samson album) (just do acoustic covers, whatever, i just like his voice) so far, this match consists mostly of dean trying to trashweasel his way out of trouble and elias shutting him down duelling chants seem a bit harsh: "You can't wrestle!" "YOU CAN'T SING!" dean gets his usual comeback sequence comprising a strange mix of real wrestling skill and just running in the vague direction of your opponent and hoping they fall harder than you do elias stands far too close on a suicide dive, basically just grabs dean and walks backwards like oh no i am defeated dean gets the upper hand of a super slow turnbuckle spot, miz runs in to bother him elias still can't even pick up a distraction pin maryse is backing miz up, so at least they're still okay dean goes for miz, he does the wife-shaped shield thing it doesn't work at all, miz gets beaten on a lot dean gets back in the ring, elias does a nasty knee drop on his back as he comes in, swinging neckbreaker for the pin "By hook or by crook, a W is still a W!" are you in a fucking ionesco play, corey

but now let's have more of goldust doing his thing his thing, of course, beign sitting in a chair at a terrible frame rate and quoting films dude, if you just turned that chair a bit, you wouldn't have to crane your neck like that can't be good for you but yeah, vague threats in the vague direction of r-truth

but now we're backstage, and an angry kurt has words for the miz those words basically being FUCKIN' QUIT IT he has enough trouble with big samoan guys named joe miz insults kurt, alludes to his indeterminate personal problems, you could chew the tension demands dean be suspended or fired, kurt retorts with a) shut the fuck up, and b) no maryse is apparently still angry at her husband kurt walks off, miz splutters, end thing cruiserweight time now, after this video to remind yiu just how good cedric alexander is, since he's been away for a while and here's noam dar arguing with his phone backstage cedric comes in to remind noam how done he is with him and his girlfriend's collective shit she is, of course, on the other end of the phone she's injured, but she wants her scottish sleazeball to beat cedric right the fuck up tonight cedric's like fuck, fine, whatever, i'll fight you tonight, but then can you please go bother literally anyone else

so yeah, now it's time for that match noam is still on his phone on speaker as he starts his entrance they're having a barely-audible argument and the phone's casting to the tron for some reason also, noam has a new jumper, and it's nowhere near as good alicia wants to be on the line through the match, noam does not want this the ref's like dude sort your shit out we've got a match to have finally puts it down in the corner, bell rings, lumbar check, end alicia is piiiiiiiiissed that's still an absolutely vicious finisher noam is trying to salvage this telepresence argument while also going oh holy fuck my spine hype no. 58 for the main event

but up next, bray wyatt...does a thing, i guess? he's certainly present and i'm ok with that but now a video package of roman, because god knows we haven't seen so much of him see, this package makes him look good, cos it's just the big spots and not all the slow-ass bullshit between them next week, roman has an announcement about summerslWYATT CUT bray fills the screen, tells us cheerfully that the world is ending does the i'm here thing, and now he is after a randy-based wyatt cut, for some reason did someone click the wrong file? corey calls bray 'bizarre', somewhere goldust is like wait a fucking minute bray's going to kill everyone who sins, sits in apathy while people sin, or blaspheme against him apparently seth lives in a house where his architect's blueprints cover the windows and block out the sun this may just be a parable, but it's a fucking great image oh, apparently bray shattered it because it was a glass house? did you mention this before, bray? bit of a shitty twist other wise m. night parablamyan and now seth will be picking splinters of glass out of his soul for eternity that's a fucking greek god level of ironic fate so yeah, anyone who takes the dark lord's name in vain will get fucked on speaking of, here comes seth to get fucked on/pick glass out of his soul i'd be good for either he's like wait a minute dude you cost me my match because i called you names that seems disproportionate but by the way, you suck seth claims he's here to pipe bomb some truth at us, calls bray a coward don't insult him, he has a backwards tractor bray takes the opportunity to give a sermon on pride, tells seth he, too, ain't shit like lol kingslayer ain't that cute *teleports backstage* bray claims he'll win because gods live forever think we need to read you some egyptian/norse myth there

but now, charly has the hardyz in the led interview backstage corridor whatever thing the hardyz would like you all to remember that they're awesome and that jeff has an unhealthy predilection for jumping off things but now, enjoy this montage of what cena's been up to and remember that he'll be back in an episode i am unlikely to blog

but now we have kalisto vs titus, through the medium of his younger, happier dude and akira tozawa is standing in the front row, because titus wants him on brand apollo beats on kalisto, titus stands by the barricade shouting at tozawa like DUDE LOOK AT MY BOY ISN'T HE GREAT tozawa is like please stop shouting at me kalisto goes for an excessively flippy handspring springboard stunner, apollo counters to a spinout powerbomb for the win titus drags tozawa into the ring for an uncomfortable selfie with them he's just like dude stop hugging me

but now, HARD CUT TO CLOSEUP OF RHYNO PUTTING CHEEZ WIZ ON CRACKERS we all needed that miz has come with a proposal for heath to become part of his entourage rhyno is like dude i'm standing right here miz promises to make all heath's dreams come true, heath's like well i've always wanted to be ic champ hmmmmm miz offers him a shot if he joins the dark side rhyno's like you know what fuck you dude i'm gonna go find kurt to give us a match against you maybe rustle up a friend we're out *aggressively eats crackers* so yeah

spot about that theme park competition thing, but now here's alexa our resident wrestlewoman with her shit together oh hey, a recap of last week's match so it did happen after all no, alexa, don't kick off by mentioning your match at extreme rules we're all trying to forget on saturday, we've got the first women's mitb match, but fuck that noise, tonight's about me but here's nia to take issue with the fact that alexa offered her a title shot, then whined about it and cheated out of it alexa's like i know right we should have had a great match but those two fucked everything up so here come those two mickie's redesigned her gear to play up the Native elements again chest dreamcatcher and everything mickie and dana try to remind everyone how much of a bitch alexa's been to nia in fornt of everyone alexa's like lol no i think your eyesight's going ah, cheap ageist jokes but now,...hit emma's music not that i'm gonna complain fucking love that music *beep boop beep boop* emma announces her dramatic return, demands a shot for the title alexa's just like um do you even go here and now here's sasha fuck it, everyone in the division in the segment that's how we do wrestling, right? so wait, are alexa and nia the only heels on the show? seems unbalanced sasha mocks alexa for literally everything she does, punches her in the face, cue brawl and hard cut to an advert for the episode of smackdown i'l be watching later back from ads, and we've got the 6-woman tag match we all saw coming so yeah, emma's still a heel, just one with a problem with the even heelier champ so yeah, emma's back, with weird shoulder things and boobface and everything although following a gear redesign, the boobface has gone from :) to :o it's great that she's back because she's great, but it does mean i have been once again demoted to the second coolest person to bear the name formulaic tag, sasha hot tags in to beat on emma, alexa decides to just walk off instead of letting emma tag out, bank statement for the tap this is not how you make friends

confirmed, later we have slater/rhyno vs miz/[NAME]

but next, corey talks to bayley about her utter lack of extreme after this advert for gold bond and MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY cole massively hypes it, then is like wait what the fuck am i saying that's the wrong brand smoothly done and now, have a package about how great finn is, and that is THE ONLY ORDER THOSE WORDS GO IN complete with lots of shots doing the arms and telling us how good he is

but yes, now we have corey/bayley just by his existence, corey must remind her how extreme she's not for the love of god, woman, get a tatt bayley's like hey i've never been in that situation before i'm a normal person i don't want to hurt people corey's like um have you ever wondered why you're in this business bayley does this whole motivational self-improvement thing which doesn't really work on its own cena does that, but with the understood subtext that if you get in the way of him being his best self, he will fuck your shit right up and bayley says her next thing is to get the belt back manageable steps slightly awkward hug, end interview so that was a thing

but now, here come A ONE MAN BAAAAAAAAAND (and his friend) rhyno should rebrand as a one man road crew miz and maryse arrive, wearing the mania jackets again, because all the best people read this blog (hey, mike) apparently he approached elias during the advert break, who said yeah fuck off dude so here comes his partner with music that sounds like the laughing fucking gnome of something and on a tricycle it's the bear although this bear is much taller and walks like dean ambrose corey christens him Big John Cubb crowd chant for a tag, miz is like i'm not a moron do you think i don't know who this is corey is just spamming us with spurious life facts about the bear because of his refusal to tag in a large mammal, rhyno is just fucking miz up all over the place cole makes a reference to the jbl and cole show, to reward dedicated weirdos bear tags himself in heath tries to take his mask off, bear punches him in the face good to know bears follow lucha tradition does a bearhug (naturally), heath nearly taps miz tags, then starts beating the piss out of the bear at ringside rips off the mask, revealing some dude, once again and rhyno spears miz into the netherworld throws him back into the ring, bear follows, heath tries to convince him to turn on his master, bear hits heath with dirty deeds, excessively long realisation beat, he unmasks and is in fact dean did...did we just get twin magicked by a bear? IT WAS ME ALL ALONG, MIZANIN! ahem dean goes for miz, he jumps and knocks maryse off the apron she hobbles off with a dark look dean stands there with a magnificent ooooooops look until miz turns around, when he hits him with dirty deeds and puts a still-unconscious heath on top of him for the pin slater and rhyno leave, dean puts the bear head on miz and walks off this just became strange this feels like it should be on one of those serial killer warning sign lists miz eventually rips it off, glares, end segment

hopefully we should have the main event next, if they want to give it the time it deserves oh, looks like we actually are huh was not expecting them to do the whole sensible booking thing recap video of the most beautifully-executed surprise return at mania and also this entire feud i'd forgotten how good their heel turn was, as well oh wait, never mind, neville's here phew if wwe started booking things in a sensible, organic way that gave things room to breathe, i wouldn't know what to do rich swann enters, does his usual dancing, gets punched in the back because neville's taken a bunch of levels in twat oh wait was that the neville level i get it beats swann all over the place, rings of saturn until he stops twitching demands his belt and a mic neville crouches by swann, recites a list of pretenders he's fucked on, kicks him out of his ring starts a monologue like it's good to be the king but will all you usurpers just fuck away off namechecks tozawa, hopefully kickstarting a feud that i am down for like you would not believe apparently titus tweeted that selfie and suggested tozawa might win the title the king is less than amused but now, charly interviews the kkb cesaro has a copy of the hardyz' autobiography so they can laugh and throw it away they keep getting more things on their jackets including they live OBEY patches, which is cool

and next, enzo/cass vs anderson/gallows seriously, you should really logically need more time for a two out of three match than a normal one this show has like half an hour left and we still have to see enzo do a thing or not, who knows with this angle douchebag joisey music hits, nobody is here cut backstage, cass is on the floor under some girders the revival walk past in the background, no reason cass says he went down with one blow to the head, emphasises how HARD they hit enzo doesn't want him to fight, but he insists but in the ring, gallows and anderson are here to trade secondary school burns and muttley laughs about enzo and cass hit twat music again, long beat, and here they are accompanied by a bunch of refs like seriously dude this is a terrible idea if only we had some power to stop this match happening alas, we are only lowly wrestling officials, all we can do is point and harangue corey calls enzo a trash fire masquerading as a human being, which i'm like 80% sure is a john oliver line? sort your material, dude cass beats on anderson through weaponised staggering, finally ags out enzo's 3am-behind-a-hollister style works for a bit, until anderson just kicks him in the head a bunch and tags gallows in cass is lying on the floor outside and magic killer for the pin turns out going into this match with a recent head injury was a terrible idea who knew they set him up for another magic killer, but here comes a big shooooooow to help at which point the heels run away and enzo and show awkwardly hug which is what cass comes around to see fuck daggers, he's glaring broadswords show leaves, cass comes up to his partner like the fuck dude, cut to ads

main event next, fucking finally

ok, no, we have to watch an r-truth reaction video first these have a solid frame rate at least, but that's come at the cost of things like 'colour film', and 'not having r-truth' truth quotes network, forgets to cite it, promises to get goldust got get got got get, end and now in the corridors, enzo comes up to show like dude, the clues all kind of point to you, so i have to ask show's like what the fuck you twat i...oh wait, it's your partner, what a twat calls cass sawft, walks off, end

but now we have a recap video of brock and joe from the start of the show why the fuck do we even need to see this just get to the main event already less than 20 minutes left this is not enough time for a properly-paced best of three match with build and everything oh, and now we get to see joe talking to mike mcmikemike backstage apparently this whole debacle has been exactly according to joe's plan this plan has never been clearly stated which is probably also exactly as planned we are all dancing on a large samoan's palm

but now, here come the hardyz fucking finally oh, and an advert break and that package for how great roman is again siiiiiiiiiiigh thing i didn't quite catch before this cut: is matt hardy wearing a fucking button-fronted short-sleeved shirt? that makes no sense for anyone whose gimmick doesn't include the words 'Caribbean', 'dipshit', or 'Caribbean dipshit' cut back, and now he's wearing no shirt ah well guess some things can just never be known and here are the kkb they've kept the jackets, but gone without shirts to maximise the orbital terawatt laser effect of their entrance bell rings, just over twelve minutes left in the show fucking hell, wwe trust your talent the teams clearly know time is against them - sheamus tries to open with a brogue, then immediately takes poetry in motion and a twist of fate for a nearfall and then sheamus basically just punches jeff in the face for the first fall? this match had so much potential sigh and now, let's cut away for an ad break and naom, gallows and anderson advertising pizza hut buy pizza from us, so twats can take it off you and back to the match recap of the first fall - jeff went for a twist of fate, sheamus countered, threw him into the corner, and did a slightly underwhelming kick to the face for the pin and now we have sheamus just kicking the shit out of jeff jeff mule kicks sheamus into a blind tag, matt hot tags in and starts mashing cesaro's head into all the turnbuckles does a delete, on the grounds that anthem probably don't give a shit, right? kicks sheamus off the apron, twist of fate on cesaro for the win i hope this narration is giving some sense of how perfunctory and artificially quick this is that's two falls in just under five minutes in a fucking championship match sheamus kicks jeff off the apron, kicks matt in the face, knees matt in the face, still can't get a pin turns out all my problems cannot, in fact, be solved by kicking jeff breaks up a pin, sheamus throws himout of the ring, cesaro goes for a neutraliser on matt, matt counters, cesaro counters that back into a sharpshooter, rope break nice sequence then matt goes for a small package, which kind of just seems like a dick move double hot tags, jeff does his usual spots, twist of fate to sheamus, cesaro breaks it just in time sheamus drops jeff on the ropes, cesaro uppercuts him, still no pin jeff bullfights sheamus into the ring post, hits a lovely swanton, cesaro pulls sheamus out of the ring just before 2 cue brawling at ringside aaaaaand double countout with which the cajundome is just so fucking satisfying brawl continues, because fuck you and your matches and your belts and we fade on the hardyz shouting from the ring while the kkb pose with their questionably-retained belts

so yeah that's it that's the show the fuck, guys? i mean obviously it was meant to be unsatisfying, and they're going to be doing it again, presumably at GBoF, but still you could still have done it without that shitty tease match but who knows maybe it'll be narratively significant

anyway, let's clean out that bad taste with some SATURDAY AFTERNOON SMACKDOWN! oh wait it's the setup show for a ppv roll on the shitty tease matches! setting up for mitb, so everything is ladders and tonight we have 6-man tag of the men's mitb contestants and randy and jinder 'face to face'

but now, the new day being played to the ring by their very own marching band, because we're in new orleans, so why the fuck not they could probably take shinsuke's violinist, but i'd watch it kofi opens by thanking the band even before doing their own introduction, which is good form the usos interrupt their gyrating to angrily enter and be thug at them and they can't even finish that before the fashion police turn up fandango claims to have compelling evidence hat their day one is not so h after all "If anything, your day one is...G." tell em tyler tyler gets to finish his sentence before the colóns enter to talk shit about breezango's policing skills (psst, guys) (they're not real detectives) so yeah, we're getting an 8-man tag match here although it's not immediately clear how the fashion police are allying themselves with three men wearing about 17 strings of beads between them the levelling for the announce mics is just fucked to hell tonight does smackdown even *have* a tech team, or is that how they run such a streamlined, modernised show? i do love that this push has given tyler and dango the opportunity to remind us how good they are at wrestling jbl, please stop making bead string jokes *brief shudder* xavier and tyler do a weird-ass combo move consisting of tyler doing a rana-style headscissors on xavier, then stopping at the top so xavier can throw him at primo followed by xavier joing the burgeoning dropkick to the back club the faces take everyone else out of the ring, stop for a brief trombone break and now we get to watch more american adverts i am officially tired of this shit i would much rather be watching this match than adverts about how cigarettes will fuck your mouth or this enormously fucked mountain dew advert and i can't even watch the tiny version in the corner i am very easily distracted oh thank fuck, we're back tyler's in trouble thanks to those dastardly usos jbl reminds us again how the usos are the greatest tag team in the world, and somewhere jason jordan is crying i mean, that's statistically likely at any given point, but still yeah, tyler's just getting the piss knocked out of him including a simultaneously dull yet impressive vertical suplex from epico comes back by throwing a bent-over epico at primo, then clotheslining primo so he ddts him nice, if making no sense whatsoever kofi tags in, kicks everyone, hits jimmy with a boom drop and trouble in paradise for the near-fall and tags in xavier for upupdowndown for the pin and taunt the usos as they retreat in failure

but later tonight, we have charlotte/nattie

but now, aj talks to shinsuke backstage and sami walks in like hey guys what do you want to do in this match asks for ideas, then talks over aj with his usual overthinky ring general thing does a they don't want none, goes for a high five, aj just stares, asks if shinsuke likes the plan, he just stares, sami answers himself and walks off to get warmed up long beat Shinsuke: "...I like him." AJ: "Of course you do." some lovely chemistry between those two which shoudl really surprise nobody

but now, dasha interviews mojo in some random corridor hey mojo, how did it feel to fail and not achieve your dreams last week? mojo is still wearing his watermelon hat magnanimous in defeat he's kind of happy he lost, because he responds to adversity with HYPE and we haven't seen the last of him and as he says this ZACK FUCKING RYDER appears the crowd are as stoked about this as i am he is officially back, and the hype bros are back together get the fuck in so yeah, this tag division's kind of huge

but now, here's naomi who we are reliably informed is amayayayayzing although the same cannot really be said of this new flourescent halter top she's got and she's fighting everybody's favourite leather-clad lunarian (shut up, i'll stop making that joke when and only when it stops being really fucking funny to me) bell hasn't even rung when the trash jazz begins just look at that woefully impractical dress and that super fucking awkward walk down the ramp we couldn't have brought her up through nxt and moved billie and peyton up to perform exactly the same purpose because... jbl explains the incomprehensible ascent of lana with leicester city, neglecting the fact that leicester had in fact played premiership football before that season anyway, tamina and naomi are just beating the hell out of each other tamina like i'll see your bouncy moves and leg lariats and counter by PUNCHING YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF YOUR BODY try punching her leg off of her leg i hear that works against people with legs i don't think i will ever not love that somersault facelock escape naomi does although it does kind of pose the question why she doesn't just commit to it and do a shiranui and split moonsault for the pin good match lana blindisdes the champion incredibly slowly, does a weird-ass glam slam type thing, then gets the belt off an official just by asking for it didn't know you could just do that and all jbl can say is how the belt matches her dress siiiiigh

but now, here are the singhs to introduce their boss he comes in wearing the sharpest fucking blue suit you will ever see next up in entrance music i like way more than i feel i should... the ring is sporting a fucking lovely carpet jinder briefly calls out randy, then goes straight in to calling him a coward and insulting his father maybe ramp the smacktalk up there? and now we're up to the 'promise to dismantle your enemy's legacy backward through history' step this curve feels like it's going to end up in actual bloodshed very soon starts his promo to his people/shouting at the crowd in punjabi, gets partway through, randy's music hits sends the singhs down the ramp to head him off, only for randy to run in out of the crowd and rko jinder on that lovely carpet and then he just fucks back off throught the crowd who love him for being a dickbag but somehow also a babyface dickface? yeah, let's go with that even if it wasn't in his hometown, they could not be setting this up for a 'shock' randy loss any more cue several seconds too long of randy posing and glowering in the stands

and now we have kevin coming into the locker room to brief baron and dolph who don't give the slightest shit what he has to say he's just like guys, i don't actually like either of you, but it's mutually beneficial to work together to take out the babyfaces rather than being dicks for the sake of it and shooting ourselves in the foot which...actually makes sense? dammit, kevin, stop bringing logic and game theory into my wrestling leaves to let them process this, cut to ads

up next, charlotte/nattie

but first, renee interviews randy backstage and he's just like have you even been listening talk less hit more i'm win the thing and leaves well, at least he's sticking to his epiphanies

but yes, now we have the women's match natties back to her old gear, and i'm not thrilled jbl just used the phrases "most likely" and "statistical certainty" right the fuck next to each other in a sentence dude, words mean things and you need to stop just saying whatever but yes, charlotte is here too, with new gear patterned off the terrible moulding on your grandparents' bathroom fittings shot of becky watching the match backstage pull up a fucking chair for once, someone

more wrestling in a minute, but first, YOU WATCH THIS ADVERT BREAK MOTHERFUCKER including an advert romanticising the fact that people need stimulant shots to participate in capitalist society see, this is what happens when you make me watch adverts whioe i'm freestyling i just end up veering into political/economic philosophy, and it's hard to come back from that oh thank god, we're back

we come back on natalya surfboard stretching charlotte like fuck you, i'm a real wrestler charlotte moonsaults nattie for a nearfall as we pan out to carmellsworth watching the match on a tv bigger than either of them again with fuck you i can wrestle, nattie powerbombs charlotte out of the corner for a nearfall (don't tell anyone, but this is actually a good match) naturally, as i say that, it turns into a series of cheap rollup attemtps, then natural selection for the pin but it made charlotte look desperate, which it's always nice to see side note: they've recoloured the GBoF logo so BALLS is the least eye-catching part

time for fashion files noir bitches dango opens with a gritty monologue about his terrible parents cut to him admirin his pecs in a mirror and cut to tyler, lying in the trashed fashion police office dango gets a description of their attackers "One arm....No, two arms!" dango sketches something, tyler confirms that it was them who attacked him dango hustles tyler off to get help, and we slow zoom on the pair of stick figures as the segment ends

but now, let's have an inspiration porn segment about a kid not dying of liver disease let's not get into my ranting about disability politics

moving on, dasha grabs lana backstage for an opinion lana's like i don't actually give a shit what any of you think byeeeeeeee

but now it's main event time opening with kevin's massive distorted face it's like neville and tjp selling their names for power, this is clearly a 'you can be champion if we can reveal how you look like hodor when viewed from below' situation and now here's baron, accomnpanied by a vt of him being a twat last week (but which instance? we may never know) dolph's entrance is mostly overridden by an advert for talking smack, which i won't be watching because jbl's on it sami and aj enter with less fanfare, but they still don't want none to leave time for the best music in the company but how will he enter tomorrow night the suspense whoever the tommaso ciampa-looking dude in the corner is, he is freaking the fuck out about being within reach of shinsuke cut for ads, during which the match apparently started and as we come back, i realise that i didn't fully appreciate the awfullness of those godawful cyan tights dolph iswearing only emphasised by putting him in the ring with shinsuke shinsuke counters dolph's elbow drop through his signature technique of 'being elsewhere', hot tags aj in, and he opens by basically hitting dolph with the bitter end and then an ushigoroshi, except we don't say that any more ooh, nice counter goes for a styles clash, dolph counters to a tornado ddt everyone else gets involved, cut for ads, and we come back on dolph/sami natursally, kevin immediately comes in as i type that sami counters kevin's senton with his knees, basically turning it into a self-inflicted lumbar check as often happens, this heel team seems much more concerned with shouting at everyone within range than having the match sami gets the shit beaten out of him by kevin, counters to a blue thunder bomb, can't quite flop fast enough to make the tag takes some more punishment, pulls out a big lariat and then bullfights all three heels out of the ring in succession sloooooowly flops to his corner, and just as he gets there dolph and kevin pull aj and shinsuke off the apron lovely bit of timing so sami just goes fuck it and helluva kicks baron for the pin maybe lead with that general fighting ensues and now kevin has a ladder he and dolph hit sami and aj with it "Unforgiving impact of that ladder on your flesh." byron's freestyling for his upcoming black metal album meanwhile, baron gets the ladder and fucks on everyone with it sets it up under the briefcase, climbs sloooooowly enough for shinsuke to push it over and somewhere, randy orton began to bleed kinshasa to baron, and shinsuke dramatically climbs the ladder himself and retrieves the most important business supplies in the world and we fade on him posing

so yeah, setup show, but that was pretty good and it looks like mitb should be good better than extreme rules, at any rate and certainly less of a misnomer unless it suddenly becomes clear that shane's accounts were frozen long ago and there was never actually any money but in any case i'll try and get this up tonight (Saturday), and then it's mitb tomorrow hmu on twitter @waruce if you want to see me struggle not to fall asleep and also to reconcile my excitement for MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY with the failings of late-stage capitalism (shit, it happened again)

anyway, that ends this week's show, but up next, it looks like it's gonna get a bit finnegans wake

#Wrestling #WWE #WWE Raw #wwe smackdown

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loyolafilmcircle · 8 years ago

Text

The Similarities of “Valentine’s Day” and “Love Actually”

Written by Gaby Baizas Edited by Joshua Chan

I’m sure everyone who’s watched both Love Actually and Valentine’s Day can agree that the two movies have striking similarities – both have star-studded casts, multiple storylines, and one universal holiday. However, after seeing both films multiple times, there are actually several specific plot points that prove that Love Actually may have influenced Valentine’s Day.

Kid in love

People may know Thomas Brodie-Sangster as Newt from The Maze Runner, Jojen Reed from Game of Thrones, or the voice of Ferb from Phineas and Ferb. However, the first time he stole all our hearts was as Sam in Love Actually, who had a massive crush on his American classmate, Joanna.

Sam’s entire storyline was focused on how hard he worked to get Joanna to notice him. This included learning how to play the drums to perform with her at the school Christmas program and running past airport security to say goodbye to her. The lengths Sam went for love, and how it was eventually revealed that Joanna noticed him all along, is still nothing short of emotionally sweet.

On the other side of the fence in Valentine’s Day, Edison, played by Bryce Robinson, had been feeling down from “being lovesick” early in the film. Edison’s crush is more subtle than Sam’s crush on Joanna, as Edison’s story line seems to stray away from his “lovesickness” every now and then.

Towards the end of the film, it is revealed that Edison’s crush happened to be his teacher, Julia Fitzpatrick, played by Jennifer Garner. While this plot twist was abrupt and disappointing (bordering on uncomfortable), the core of the original story in Love Actually is strikingly similar to this plotline in Valentine’s Day.

Sex-related profession

In Love Actually, John (Martin Freeman) and Judy (Joanna Page) are two actors that meet on set for a pornographic film, and while the two actors are very comfortable filming sex scenes with each other for work, the two of them are actually very shy, modest, and wholesome in real life. The two actors then become friends, and flirt with each other here and there, and finally end up dating (and getting engaged!) towards the end of the film. The film’s emphasis on their professions points out that love can be found anywhere, even in the strangest of places (in this case, the set of a pornographic film).

In Valentine’s Day, Liz Curran (Anne Hathaway) is a phone sex operator, and is shown attending to many clients throughout the film. She takes on several personas as a phone sex operator, complete with different accents, but is very secretive about the job. When her boyfriend, Jason Morris (Topher Grace) finds out about her underground profession as a phone sex operator, he becomes very appalled. This prompts the two to fight, as Jason couldn’t bear to accept Liz’s negative qualities, and Liz was mad that he was making her underground profession define her whole being.

The focus of Liz’s profession as a phone sex operator emphasized that you should be able to accept your lover completely, and to not just love their good traits while disregarding their bad ones. I, however, personally felt that it was unnecessary to make her profession sex-related, as it very well could’ve worked with a non-sex-related profession, such as an underground illegal drug dealer, for instance. There was no specific reason that she had to be a phone sex operator, and I felt that the creators of Valentine’s Day were trying too hard in making it similar to John and Judy’s professions in Love Actually.

Celebrity linking all characters together

In Love Actually, Billy Mack’s (Bill Nighy) new Christmas song, entitled “Christmas is All Around” is constantly played throughout the film and pops here and there in different story lines when different characters listen to his song or watch his music video. But instead of the character being a running joke throughout the film, Billy Mack eventually wins over viewers by the end of the film when it is revealed that the character actually has a heart and loves his manager no matter how tarnished his image may be.

In Valentine’s Day, there was more than one fictional celebrity figure that connected the other characters together. This included radio DJ Romeo Midnight (voiced by Paul Williams), sports reporter Kelvin Moore (Jamie Foxx), and Sean Jackson (Eric Dane), a closeted football player that everyone has their eyes on.

While these celebrities were less cringe-worthy than Billy Mack, these characters end up feeling undeveloped, one-dimensional, and empty, ultimately ending up as filler.

Cheating

Cheating was actually a distinct plot point for two separate storylines in both movies. In Love Actually, Jamie (Colin Firth) comes home to find his girlfriend cheating on him with his brother. Jamie and his girlfriend break up immediately, and Jamie finds love again later on in the film. In the other subplot, Harry (portrayed by the late Alan Rickman) gets involved in an affair with his secretary, Mia (Heike Makatsch). Harry later gets caught by his wife, Karen (Emma Thompson), and this causes a great rift in their marriage, ending in an ambiguous ending that fans of the film will always have on their mind – Did they remain married?

In Valentine’s Day, Edison’s grandparents, Edgar (portrayed by Héctor Elizondo) and Estelle Paddington (portrayed by Shirley MacLaine) go through a rough patch after Estelle admits that she had an affair with one of Edgar’s business partner several years ago. Edgar walks out and initially goes to watch a movie on his own, but Estelle finds him and they manage to patch things up. Julia (Jennifer Garner) starts seeing Dr. Harrison Copeland (Patrick Dempsey), a (supposed) divorcee. Later on in the film, it is revealed that Harrison is actually still married to his wife, and is actually juggling two relationships at the same time. This makes Julia furious, and it is eventually revealed that Harrison’s wife has left him.

Overall, while Love Actually focuses on a victim of cheating (Jamie) and a cheater (Harry) and Valentine’s Day focuses on showing an unknowing victim of cheating (Julia) and a cheater showing remorse for their past actions (Estelle), both films are united by this common theme – cheating.

Airport chase

In Love Actually, when Joanna has to leave for America, Sam and his father, Daniel (Liam Neeson), decide to see her off at the airport for Sam to give his final goodbye. Unfortunately, Joanna’s flight is just about to leave, and Sam decides to run past airport security to make it to the gate to give Joanna his goodbye. Before he is whisked away by security, Sam manages to make it to Joanna, and Joanna gives him a goodbye kiss.

In Valentine’s Day, however, when Julia’s best friend, Reed (Ashton Kutcher), realizes that Harrison is cheating on her, he decides to chase after Julia at the airport to convince her not to see him anymore.

The handling of the airport chase is distinctly different, as while Sam’s airport chase was adorable and heartwarming, Reed’s airport chase was more humiliating, and served as arguably weak comic relief.

Setting

Both movies are set in different cities during two different holidays, but the two movies seem to give off different vibes with regards to the holiday being celebrated. Love Actually focuses on London during the Christmas season, however, Love Actually had an overarching theme besides Christmas – it is not so much a Christmas film, but rather, a film that happens to take place during Christmas. Christmas was far from the main focus of the film, the underlying message being that love was all around.

Valentine’s Day, however, opts for a more over-the-top approach with no overarching theme – the film was called Valentine’s Day and took place during the titular holiday. The connections among the characters in Valentine’s Day was far weaker and more simplistic than what Love Actually accomplished, with the connections feeling as if they were just forced into the script.

Overall, despite the similarities of the two, I will always forever favour Love Actually over Valentine’s Day. However, I won’t distinct differences, and both are ultimately still enjoyable holiday films for anyone to enjoy.

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#valentine's #valentine's day #love actually #comparison #film #loyola film circle #features

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