gotham-response

[gotham-response]

Weirdest team-up I've seen in weeks

[gotham-response]

Gotham neighborhood reviews

Since Niche refuses to cover Gotham neighborhoods after the Two-Face incident, I'll have to do it myself. Strap in, boys. This is a long one

Amusement Mile - Literally no one lives here. There's one abandoned amusement park and a condemned chemical plant. One time I saw the clown man, but I'm pretty sure I was just high.

Score: 1/10 stars

Blackgate Isle - I met a guy who was falsely imprisoned there. He said the food there was better than it was in Arkham.

Score: 5/10 stars, best prison food in the city?

The Bowery - Rated #1 place to get robbed at gunpoint according to the Good Morning Gotham podcast. A known hotbed of petty radio personalities and boomer newspaper advocates.

Score: #12 place to get robbed at gunpoint. #1 place to convince a podcaster that your phone is a gun and then steal their wallet

Bristol - Who do you think I am, some trust fund kid with a butler? I don't have enough money to breathe Bristol air. Honestly, it's on the mainland. Not even really Gotham at this point.

Score: F+, eat the rich

Burnley - Home of the icon, the legend, the living meme himself, Jack Ryder. Best place in the city to barhop.

Score: One million swagbucks

Cape Carmine - An old woman lives in the lighthouse there. She sells little wood carvings and chuckles ominously under her breath. The sailors are terrified of her.

Score: 12/10 stars

The Cauldron - Don't live here if you don't have the money to pay for the Irish Mob dues. Alternatively, you could apply for a job with them. I hear they have a great benefits package.

Score: 8 green beans in a microwave

Chinatown - Excellent bookstore selection. Their Chinese New Year festival is a must-see. They also have a fountain shaped like an elephant, and that's just cool.

Score: 9/10

City Hall District - Best place in the city to find lost Batarangs. You'll never guess what civic building is located here.

Score: Guinness World Record for Most Uninspired District Name

Coventry - I don't think this place is real.

Score: ?????

Crime Alley - Gets a ton of publicity for being dangerous because two rich people died there. Definitely is dangerous, but not nearly as dangerous as the media would have you think. Free axe throwing.

Score: 17.5

Diamond District - There are two distinct groups here: people who go to the Iceberg Lounge and people who work at the Iceberg Lounge. But when the whole neighborhood is run by a short version of the dad from Umbrella Academy, who can really blame them?

Score: Global warming

Fashion District - Best place in the city to people-watch. Worst place in the city to buy off the rack.

Score: One judgy haute couture sales associate out of 10

Financial District - Gargoyle central. A dream for architects and a nightmare for architectural engineers. The only spot I can still find the stromboli truck.

Score: 7/10 excited architects, 13/10 stressed engineers, 20/20 design professionals going home with stromboli good enough to make the gods weep

Gotham Village - Safe and friendly to the point where I think the whole neighborhood is a wormhole outside of Gotham. Best Pride Parade in the state.

Score: A

The Hill - Word is a guy in a maroon sweatshirt beats thugs up with a crowbar there. I've only seen the videos on tiktok the next morning. Definitely going to spend more time there.

Score: 10/10 masked dudes with unconventional weapons

Mercey Island - Site of Arkham Asylum, Home of the Criminally Insane. And it lives up to its name. It is insane. Insanely touristy. How am I supposed use the road if it's wall-to-wall midwestern dads and souvenir stands? Aren't there supposed to be guards or something?

Score: 0/10 would not recommend

The Narrows - Called the narrows for a reason. You have to walk sideways down the streets. Good luck finding a parking spot. But they do have an old-time arcade, so it's usually worth the hassle.

Score: One infrastructural nightmare out of 10

Old Gotham - They have three (count 'em: THREE) Polish delis. I am in love. I am on cloud nine. I could spend an eternity there. (Also my uncle died in a Joker attack there, but that's irrelevant.)

Score: Gold star (and a dead uncle)

Otisburg - There are so many coal mines underneath it that anything heavier than a moped is banned from driving on the roads or else a sinkhole will swallow the entire block. The people who live there have excellent reflexes, and I keep mistaking them for Bats from a distance.

Score: Most likely neighborhood that the Bat people come from

Robbinsville - Contrary to the name, Robin doesn't live here. Great seafood though.

Score: B+

Robinson Park - Also contrary to the name, Robin doesn't live here either. These are the only two locations that Robin confirmed he doesn't live in. Has Shakespeare in the Park every Thursday in the summer. Leave before it gets dark though. That's when the muggers come out of hibernation.

Score: 4/5 globe theaters. 100/5 goons

Tricorner Island - The only neighborhood in the whole city whose Batburger has a working soft serve machine.

Score: My eternal gratitude

Upper East Side - Everyone here is unbothered by everything. A car blew up and the driver just crawled out the broken window, brushed the glass off, and continued his phone call. Poison Ivy planted a whole rain forest overnight and everyone just grabbed their machetes and hacked their way to work.

Score: 10/10 for coolness. -1000000/10 for self-preservation

Upper West Side - Like the Upper East Side, but west. (Also has a massive rodent problem.)

Score: See me after class

[gotham-response]

Of course! Lmk if you do need recertified. I can think of five EMS supervisors on the top of my head who would happily pay for a recert if it meant they got a solid employee

@delia-starling-answers

Hi, I believe you talked to my youngest sister a couple of times.

Sydney

And I’m Delia.

I’m looking to join the paramedics here and she suggested I talk to you.

Yes, I did talk to Sydney! Great to meet you, Delia

There are a few private ambulance services in Gotham as well as the public city trucks (which are dual fire/EMS) which mostly cover downtown and the financial district. Literally all of them are hiring all the time. You're welcome to call for an interview, but if you have your certs, you can walk up to any station and probably leave with a t-shirt and a radio. I run with the city and with Starlight Ambulance, which covers the Upper East Side and Coventry. But no matter which service you choose, you get the same crap pay, so it's best to pick based on location. Normally, the downtown area is the craziest part of a city, emergency-wise, but for Gotham, it's up north (think Crime Alley), so if you're a firefighter as well, go for the city trucks, or if not, any private service other than Bankers or Freedom (who cover the northern island). The medics there are built of steel, I swear. Feel free to ask if you need anything else!

[gotham-response]

@delia-starling-answers

Hi, I believe you talked to my youngest sister a couple of times.

Sydney

And I’m Delia.

I’m looking to join the paramedics here and she suggested I talk to you.

Yes, I did talk to Sydney! Great to meet you, Delia

There are a few private ambulance services in Gotham as well as the public city trucks (which are dual fire/EMS) which mostly cover downtown and the financial district. Literally all of them are hiring all the time. You're welcome to call for an interview, but if you have your certs, you can walk up to any station and probably leave with a t-shirt and a radio. I run with the city and with Starlight Ambulance, which covers the Upper East Side and Coventry. But no matter which service you choose, you get the same crap pay, so it's best to pick based on location. Normally, the downtown area is the craziest part of a city, emergency-wise, but for Gotham, it's up north (think Crime Alley), so if you're a firefighter as well, go for the city trucks, or if not, any private service other than Bankers or Freedom (who cover the northern island). The medics there are built of steel, I swear. Feel free to ask if you need anything else!

[gotham-response]

nobody:

not a single soul:

exactly zero people:

people from Blüdhaven:

[gotham-response]

Some days really do be like that

[gotham-response]

[gotham-response]

@sydney-starling-answers

Hi again.

Was thinking about going into psychiatry but changed my mind.

I’m now leaning towards becoming a paramedic.

Hi!

Trust me, I've been there. (Spent a semester in a psych PhD program, but it just wasn't right for me. And probably for the best because now I'm not a supervillain.) Definitely shadow on a truck once or twice (we call them ride-alongs, people do them all the time), and if you like it, get your EMT-Basic. EMS culture is very unique, so it's important to get a feel for it before committing to paramedic. And even once you do have your cert, don't feel constrained to truck work. I spent a couple summers working concerts and marathons plus first aid at an amusement park. Easily my favorite job. Feel free to pm me with questions if you have them!

[gotham-response]

Looking forward to it. Best of luck in her recovery!

@sydney-starling-answers

Need to introduce you to my sister. She’s also a paramedic but hasn’t gotten whatever new qualifications she needs to work here yet.

Oh you mean HAZMAT tech (plus SCBA) and Rogue Bootcamp? Yeah, those are a pain, but they definitely come in handy. A lot. Too many weaponized aerosols and weirdly specific villains prancing about to go in unprepared

Absolutely have her stop by Station 39! Always happy to share advice! (And it's good to have friends out there)

[gotham-response]

@sydney-starling-answers

Need to introduce you to my sister. She’s also a paramedic but hasn’t gotten whatever new qualifications she needs to work here yet.

Oh you mean HAZMAT tech (plus SCBA) and Rogue Bootcamp? Yeah, those are a pain, but they definitely come in handy. A lot. Too many weaponized aerosols and weirdly specific villains prancing about to go in unprepared

Absolutely have her stop by Station 39! Always happy to share advice! (And it's good to have friends out there)

[gotham-response]

good news! The tattoo thing was just fear gas.

Bad news! Fear gas makes your tattoos look weird to people around you too.

Huh. Education for the people ig. Thanks for being the guinea pig

[gotham-response]

hey so I got a tattoo at one of the sanitary Gotham parlors and uhm is it supposed to move?

I'm definitely not an expert on anything even remotely related to tattoos, but I will say that you might want to make sure your air filters are working. Fear gas season came early to Gotham

[gotham-response]

when the police officer new to Gotham is crashing out so bad during his first rogue/vigilante beatdown that everyone stops to watch:

[gotham-response]

wanna make this clear <3

this blog hates donald trump

Look how many people hate him. I’m pretty damn happy about that 😁😁😁😁😁😁

[gotham-response]

also essential workers and people paid hourly, but that's implied

[gotham-response]

Bill, they jumped when your car backfired. I don't think they're ready for your war stories

[gotham-response]