#I eat angst for breakfast | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

verilly · 2 years ago

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Aki Hayakawa x Reader

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aliusworld’s songfic event— inspo: MANNEQUIN album (Deco*27)

Description: “My booming heart is heating, killing me.”, “With you my world is now breaking through.”, & “You’re my receiver.”

Warnings: Mentions of self harm, self hate, K¥$-ing, major character death, borderline obsessive reader, suggestive(?), and well… angst.

{5261 words}

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[1]

‘Dear Aki,

I don’t really plan on giving you these letters at all, well… maybe you’ll just find it or something! I’d rather die than tell you how I feel.

I’ve been told to write these by a few friends to get a few things off my chest. Like a diary? Except they’re all aimed towards you! Because you’re the person I care the most about.

After we met, my life has gotten a little bit more bright. When I heard you got hurt during the whole Gun Attack I wanted to die. Because without you, I would be nothing. I really like you, how can I express that to you without exactly saying it?

I don’t know yet. But I’ll figure it out! I always do. So, I wonder if you like me?’

The note was nothing special, only something to express your surface level feelings. You folded it nicely and shoved it into a drawer. You felt a little better, you were lying in that note.

If you really were scared that Aki were to die, you would have visited him. Yet you didn’t. You did see him the moment he was discharged, but it was only out of sheer luck. You just happened to pass him, you bowed your head and made your way around him. You didn’t wait long enough to see if he reciprocated your act.

Maybe you should’ve.

[3]

‘Dear Aki,

You talked to me first today! That was so nice… you smelt like cigarettes, which is gross, but that’s okay. It’s you. Everyone has their flaws, but if the majority of people think it’s perfectly fine, then so should I.

This sounds bad, but I don’t really remember what we were talking about. Maybe it was about devils? Or— was I supposed to be doing something? Maybe you were scolding me, I guess it just slipped my mind after you left, sorry about that.

But we went out to lunch together! I thought it was really fun, we talked a bunch! And this time, it wasn’t even all about work, some personal stuff too… I’m sure it’s because Aki just lost Himeno. I don’t want to be her replacement, but if he wants me to be something like that, I’ll change.

You make my heart beat so fast… what am I supposed to do? I feel like if I’m away from you for too long my heart will stop beating completely! Is that bad? Maybe I should distance myself from you just to make sure I’m not driving you away.

Everyday, whenever I see you, my smile gets a tad bit wider. I hope you notice it. Unless you find it creepy or weird, then please don’t notice it.

I wonder if you feel the same.’

Aki was the one who started the conversation that time. There was no one else in the room but you two.

“[name]?” It was Aki’s voice, he’s so soothing…

“Mm, yeah?” Your voice cracked, you ‘mentally’ punched yourself by grabbing your arm quickly and digging your nails into your skin, this was the first time you talked to him in ages! How could your body betray you like that?

“I’ve noticed you’ve been staring at me, did I do something to upset you?” His words hit you like a truck. He has never done anything to make you upset, why is he thinking like that? We’re you staring too much? It was supposed to be a secret! Then again, you were never good at being ‘sneaky’.

“W-what?! No way, y-you haven’t done anything like that at all!” Your stutter. You hated it, but you had to say something, or else me might think you’re crazy or ignoring him! “I’m sorry that I’ve been staring. I really didn’t mean to…” you lied through your teeth, but Aki didn’t need to know that.

“Oh, you don’t need to be sorry. I was just wondering, that’s all.” The room went quiet after that. It was an awkward silence, even the position was awkward. You were sitting on a lounge chair while Aki was standing, looking down at you. “Hey, why don’t we go somewhere to eat? You’ve been working here long enough and I don’t think we’ve talked too often.”

Lunch with Aki? Hell yes!

[8]

‘Dear Aki,

My expectations have been blown. We’re buddies now, who would’ve guessed that? Considering my luck, I never thought that I would hit the jackpot like this! I’ve always wished it happened, I guess there is some sort of god up there.

There’s a lot of these letters too, so to commemorate my success I bought a box to keep the letters in! It’s a baby blue color, I drew small designs on the edge to make it look prettier too. I’ll keep it under my bed. Hopefully it won’t pick up any dust!

Our first patrol together was very tame compared to the other ones I’ve been on. No fiend yelling in my ear, the area was full of other humans, and you were on my right! I don’t know if you meant to do it, but you were walking closer to the road, making me farther from it. You’re kind even if you don’t mean it. I appreciate that.

Some of these letters are really embarrassing, I really hope you actually never find any of these. I’d melt into a puddle on the floor, I think I’d even quit my job. But you’ll never find these! I’ll make sure of it!’

[11]

‘Dear Aki,

Today was really scary. You took a hit for me from a devil. Please. Never. Do. That. Again.

Your sacrifice would be in vain because I’d kill myself if I were to cause your death. Don’t worry though. I took care of that devil. You passed out before you got to the Hospital, it was so scary… I can’t put it into other words.

I waited for you. I cried, a lot. Not because I felt like it was my fault (it was definitely there though) but because I couldn’t have you dying on me. I finally just got to get closer to you, so why would someone take it away so quickly?

Is that a bad way to think?

You’re still in the hospital. I miss you. They haven’t given me any information on how you’re doing. I wish they did.

I have so much to say to you, but I’ll keep it on the inside. It’s safer that way.

I wonder, do you miss me too?’

[17]

‘Dear Aki,

You’ve been out for so long. At this point, I’ve been writing these things more than once a day. My wrist kind of hurts.

This time is different though, I visited you in the hospital! Actually, this is my second time coming to see you. It took me a lot of courage, but you probably wanted to see me, right? If not me, then probably someone other than the medical staff.

When I got there, you were on your back, staring at the ceiling. Almost as hard as I stare at you, haha…

I don’t think you noticed me at first because I don’t peg you as the type to ignore someone. So I got closer. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this before. You looked so weak. I felt so bad.

I brought you a fruit basket and a few other things… I can’t remember them. What I do remember is that you asked me to buy you another pack of cigarettes. And I remember purposefully not bringing them.

That’s what I didn’t like about Himeno, the whole getting you into cigarettes thing. They gave me a headache. I hope you stop sooner or later.

You didn’t get mad at me or even ask about them! So… I think it’s working. I wonder how long it’ll be until you get discharged.

Miss Makima made it so that during work all I had to do is paper work because I didn’t have any available buddies. It’s boring, I really miss you at work.

I stayed there until visiting hours were over. It surprised me, you told me you wanted me to stay when I was going to leave earlier. It made me feel special. Thanks for that.

Have people really not been visiting you? Or am I special in your eyes, I don’t know.

I wonder, what’s going on in your head?’

Aki’s eyes were zoned out, looking into the ceiling, he didn’t notice you came back. You smiled when you saw his face again, still as handsome as ever. You knock on the wall to get his attention. He finally looked over to see you, it looked like he was happy when he laid his eyes on you.

You sat down on the chair next to his bed as you placed the fruit basket gently on the table next to you.

“Hi Aki, are you feeling any better?” Your voice sounded sweet, you tried your best to make it that way, almost acting like Aki was some sort of stray animal that could run away at any moment.

“Kind of… what brings you here, [name]?” His voice still sounded the same, maybe a little more raspy, but that can’t be helped. He probably hasn’t spoken in awhile.

“I… I- uh. I just wanted to see you again, that’s all. Work has been a little shallow.” The room was filled with silence yet again. Maybe this was a mistake, he’s still hurt, how could you think he would be in a state for holding a conversation? “Hey Aki, there was something I was going to say that I could the last time I came to visit.”

“Yeah?” Aki turned his head to look at you fully, he didn’t look like he was struggling

“…Please don’t do that again.”

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“The whole saving me thing.” You tilted your head while shutting your eyes and leaning onto your hand, “Don’t do it. Please.”

“[name]?” He spoke, but you didn’t stop.

“If your going to get hurt, do it so I don’t think it’s my fault. I know it sounds horrible, but I just can’t stand it. I would rather die then let it happen again.” You opened your eyes again to look at him, “I know it sounds selfish, but I just won’t be able to handle it. I can barely handle what’s happening right now. I feel like I’m going insane.” You take a deep breath in after you finish

“I can’t do that, sorry.” Aki sighed and looked back up at the ceiling, no longer facing you.

“Alright then,” You stand up dreadfully, turning away to face the door, “That’s all I really wanted to say, I’m sorry for coming back so soon.”

“Wait- [name] don’t leave.” Aki’s voice echoed.

“…?” You turned back, his voice sounded weak, did something happen the second you turned your back on him? He was sitting straight now, he was looking at you

“I’ve been stuck here for too long. Please, just stay here with me for a little longer? I… I promise I won’t do it again.”

“…of course, Aki.” You sighed and sat back down next to Aki, “…I’m sorry I said that”

[22]

‘Dear Aki,

You’re finally out from that stupid hospital! I can finally spend more time with you. I feel like we’ve been getting extra closer after you left. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to lose you again? Which is true, but this just feels weirder! Maybe you’re trying hard too?

Did you notice? Today while we were on patrol together, our hands touched. Well it was barely even there, but I felt it. You didn’t react or pull away either. Maybe you just didn’t feel it? Your hands are quite rough after all, or maybe you did and you enjoyed it. That will forever be my truth.

Honestly, I’ve been feeling my memory’s slip away from me ever so often, so when I came back home I rushed to grab a piece of paper! The box isn’t dusty at all because I take such good care of it. If we were to ever get together, I promise to take extra good care of you too. Even more than I do the box.

I wonder, would you like it at all?’

[29]

‘Dear Aki,

You took me out on a date today. I’ll remember it forever. Or at least, this paper will.

I’ve been writing these things in public lately, I just can’t help myself anymore. Sometimes I scribble them out if I feel someone near me. But I guess if I numbered it and put it in the box I didn’t do it to this one.

How many times have I rewritten this note? I don’t now!—

Back to the date, the restaurant we went to was really fancy! Should I call it a date? You never really said it was one, but I think it had the same vibes as one.

I ate a salad. It didn’t cost much because you said you were paying. But still, you insisted for me to get more, which I promptly refused. Yet you ordered Almond Tofu and gave it to me. I remember Himeno talking about it before, saying it was like your favorite dessert… and you gave it to me. I’m so lucky to have you.

I really wish I could’ve paid. I felt really bad. So I’ll get you a gift for later! What would you like? Maybe some extra hair ties? A simple gift, so you wouldn’t be suspicious of me feeling anything for you. But then again, that also sounds too simple.

Ugh!! I just don’t know what to get you. I’ll have to dig deeper into you to find more and more about you! Unfortunately, the only person who I knew who had a really strong connection to you was Himeno. But you already know what happened.

Should I ask Denji? Power— NO! They’ll just blabber it out. I just know it!

So who else?

I wonder, am I the closest person to you now?

[34]

‘Dear Aki,

I fell asleep in the same car as you. We were both sitting in the back of another members car. I don’t know how long the drive was, I really do wish I was awake for the whole thing.

Last night was a doozy, I got hurt while on a mission with you. But I really didn’t want you to get worried, so I hid it from you.

When I got home I was really in a lot of pain. And then I had to fix myself up all by myself. I was to tired. Even though my bathroom and a few splotches on the floor were covered in blood, I fell asleep.

Well I tried. I stayed in bed all night. Here and there I would pop a few of the medicine I had in the cabinet, none of it helped.

I kind of wished I showed that I got hurt so that maybe you would’ve let me stay with you and you’d help me and touch me and hold me… but that probably wouldn’t have happened—

I almost forgot! The car ride! It was amazing! I feel like I slept the best sleep I’ve had in years and it’s all thanks to you! And maybe the cars vibrations, but mostly you! I felt so safe.

Though almost all I saw was pitch black, I remember waking up that I was on your shoulder. I jolted awake, I almost ripped the wound open again, but I didn’t!!!

I wonder, did you put me on your shoulder or did you just let me stay there? I hope it’s the first option, but either one’s good.

[47]

‘Dear Aki,

I’m hoping to confess to you soon. All these feelings I have can’t be put to words on useless pieces of paper anymore. I need to tell you. I need to get closer to you. I need you!!!

Still, I reviewed these letters to see what I should say when I eventually tell you. I didn’t get a lot from it other than that I’m absolutely crazy about you, but I think it jogged my ever fading memory.

I’ll write in here again on what happens after I do. If it doesn’t go well I won’t be writing any more, I’ll distance myself from you. For both of our own goods. (Is that how you say it?)

I wonder, will you feel the same?’

[48]

‘Dear Aki,

You said yes.

Still. I’ll never show you any of these notes. They’re way too embarrassing…

I wonder, if I ever showed these to you… would you understand?’

“Hey Aki, we’re gonna get off from work soon. Mind talking to me in private for a little bit?” You look up at Aki, he was smoking. You never got him to stop. You see and smell the smoke. The streets were empty and the two of you were waiting for the traffic light to switch.

“Hmm, it’s only the two of us right now. Can’t you tell me now? I have to get home quickly, y’know… because Power and Denji are-“

“Yeah I understand. Uhh…” You close your eyes as your face flushes, you tilt your head and open your eyes back up. “Okay. I like you, Aki.”

“What?”

“I mean that, I have a crush on you Aki. I’ve been having it for a long time now.”

“I-I knew what it meant I just… I guess I wanted to hear it again.” There was a light blush on Aki’s cheeks. He looks so cute… you waited for his answer.

“…do you like me back?” The seconds that passed by while you two were crossing the road felt like years. You felt your head turning away from him. It’s been so long. He probably doesn’t, you felt like you were slowly turning into ashes.

“I… I like you too.” Aki’s arm pulled you closer as you were straying away from him unintentionally.

“Y-You do??”

“Have I given you any reason for you to think otherwise?”

“Yeah! Like sixteen! Just now!” Your face was fully red, your head was pulled to his side. His arm was on the side of your shoulder. “Sorry. It’s just… been a while.”

“It’s alright, [name].”

[55]

‘Dear Aki,

I feel like after we started to ‘date’ I’ve been writing less of these letters. Probably because I’ve been telling you how I feel more often, which is good! I long for the day where I can tell you everything but that day is probably going to be years from now.

And from what I’ve heard, you don’t have a lot of time left. It was a whole miracle for you to accept the love I feel for you, how long will it take for us to do something more?

The day I told you about my feelings, I invited you to my house. Even though you told me you had to go home quickly to Power and Denji, you walked me home after work. You didn’t stay long, but it was nice, and luckily my house wasn’t a mess!

Oh— I forgot. Today. Today was crazy. Today you actually stayed at my house. Well, stay is a big word. It’s Sunday today and we actually had an official date! You said something about Denji and Power promising not to do anything.

So… today we held hands! Even though your hands looked fine, they’re actually pretty rough. We went to a cafe. This time I actually got something I wanted, just a Matcha crepe cake! You ordered the same thing, I didn’t know we were so similar!

The best thing happened to today though. Not the date, not the hand holding… we kissed. It was so best. Your mouth on mine. It was so good, you were so good.

I can’t wait to spend more time with you outside of work.

I wonder, do you do too?’

[57]

‘Dear Aki,

Things have been great. You’re great. I feel like it’s been like a week since I wrote a note. But I still have feelings. So much on my mind that I just can’t say.

Like… as I’m writing this, you’re sleeping on my bed. (I’m at the kitchen counter writing this) I can hear you snore, it’s kind of cute. We’ve been kissing so often so it’s all normal and whatever but… this time you felt more desperate.

Is that a nice thing to say? I don’t know, but I enjoyed it. Your touch is such an energy booster, but for you… I just don’t know if you feel the same. Because right after… you fell asleep and you left me here awake and needy.

You’re so much hard working than me, so I guess it’s understandable. But I just can’t fall asleep next to you. I was tossing and turning and I just got up to leave you because I thought I’d wake you up.

You’ve been staying at my place more often, I’m really grateful! Though I can’t help but wonder how Denji and Power are doing at your apartment. It scares me that they might mess up real bad and that you won’t ever come to visit me again. Maybe I should confront them about it at some point… like paying them? I dunno.

Are we at that level yet? For me to want to… uh. (I’m too embarrassed to write it out, but y’know. Like the birds and the bees.) I’m longing for you all the time, can’t you see that? Or maybe you’re just not ready.—‘

“[name]? Why’d you get up?” Aki yawned as he walked out of the bedroom

“Huh? Oh no, I just couldn’t fall asleep that’s all!” You turn your head to face him as you crumble the note in your hand

“Oh, what’s that?” Aki got closer to you, resting his head on your shoulder. You sweat and smile up at him.

“I-It’s nothing. It’s just a piece of paper I was drawing on.” You lied and prayed he didn’t pry further. He didn’t say anything about it, “I’ll try and go back to bed with you. C’mon.”

“Alright.”

You never finished that note, you still stashed it away into the secret blue box though.

[58]

‘Dear Aki,

We didn’t go to work today. You called in sick. I did too… from the same phone. That was stupid, but they probably won’t be up our ass about it. I wonder why you’re staying here for so long? Are you waiting for something to happen?

Ooh! Are you actually thinking about sex? Naughty boy. Haha, but I don’t think I’d mind.

You’re making me breakfast right now, I can smell it. I’m currently stuck i. The bedroom quickly writing this. I feel bad for leaving the other letter unfinished even though I know no one else is going to read it. So I guess I’m just relieving myself.

I can’t wait to try your cooking. It smells great.

Thanks Aki, love you.’

You shove the paper into the box under your bed right before you leave to say ‘Good Morning’ to your boyfriend. He looks, tired and depressed to say the least. Did something happen while you were asleep? He didn’t respond back until you wrapped your arms around his waist from behind. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Not at all, it’s just that I…” Aki didn’t look back at you, he looked so out of it. He turned off the stove and placed whatever he was cooking. “You know about my contract with the Future Devil, right?”

“Oh? Yeah I do, what about it?”

“I… saw something.” He sighed as he brought the plate to the kitchen table, “And it was about you.”

“…Yeah?” You start to get worried, if it was nothing unimportant than he wouldn’t be getting like this. So what was it about?

“You were dead- or, dying? I don’t know, but I keep seeing it over and over again. It’s like the Future devil just wants to torture me.” You watch as Aki slowly breaks down, it was the first time seeing someone as strong as Aki cry. You don’t know what to do, so you pat his back. “And I don’t know how much time we have, fuck, it can be in a year. All I know is that it was here in your apartment and… and I want to prevent it.”

“Well, if it’s my apartment, then maybe we should go to yours?” Aki was crying and all you could do is pay his back, your death didn’t scare you, but his reaction did.

[59]

‘Dear Aki,

You talked about my death. So we went to your apartment. It was still in the morning, so Denji and Power were still there. You were still down in the dumps so I had to distract them from eating you alive or something.

I’m writing this in the inside of a napkin. That’s fun.

You scared me, not because I was going to die, but because… you were scared. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like that. Do you really care that much about me? I guess that’s normal. If you were to die then I don’t think I’d keep living. Maybe still alive, but just an empty shell. So, I won’t die. Because I don’t want you to live like that.

I think I’ll finally write in my will. I’ve been planning to anyway. I’ll put you in it… and I guess my family and some friends. Maybe I’ll give you that box with all my notes in it. Then maybe if you read it, you’ll feel less bad for losing me. Or feel even worse. That’s bad.

What should I do?’

[61]

‘Dear Aki,

I’ve been staying at your house for a while now, and we went back to work. The past two notes I have are being kept in my pockets of my clean clothes. I barely leave your side now, which doesn’t bother me.

You’re always so frantic whenever we go back to my apartment to grab stuff. I always assure you that we’ll be fine but you never believe me. So guess what I did?

Hehe you already know, I made you relieve your stress by using me. Can you believe it? We finally fucked. It was nice. It was good. You kept crying during it though, but I didn’t have any time to comfort you, and even if I did it probably wouldn’t have worked, you just kept going. I feel bad for your roommates who had to hear all that.

After we did, I finally had some good sleep. It’s weird sleeping next to you, but I guess I can make it work.

I love you, Aki’

“Aki, my legs hurt. I don’t want to keep going for this patrol.” You whine as you tread through the streets of Tokyo. The sun was starting to set, how long have the two of you been walking?

“It’s fine— [name] get back! There’s a devil here…” Aki murmured, pulling out an arm to shield you, even though there wasn’t any visible devil out and about.

“Where is it?” You whisper as you clutch your own weapon of choice

“It’s inside the walls of that crummy looking building there. It’ll jump out, there’s more than one too. Watch out.”

Just like he said, a devil popped out from the wall of the empty building next to you. Another devil popped out, then another. They all looked the same: was it the Zombie devil again?

It didn’t matter, Aki sliced through them with his katana. So did you, again and again, the rush made it so that you couldn’t feel your legs. Then it hit you like a truck, your leg started to cramp right when more of those devils started to crawl out from the building. You yell out for Aki as he swing away at the monsters. He couldn’t hear you. It’s your fault, you should’ve been louder. Maybe you should’ve made that contract with the Claw devil when you had the opportunity. Then this outcome could have been prevented, but it wasn’t.

They didn’t bite you, so maybe they weren’t zombies. What are you thinking? You’re about to die and all you can think about is the stupid name of the devil? Isn’t your life flashing before your eyes? No, it wasn’t. You were strange, even though you were on the floor barely breathing, you could only think about for disappointing this outcome was. Was this how your story ended? Without being able to say goodbye to Aki? Without even being able to die in his arms? Only to die on the concrete floor surrounded by the stench of the devil’s corpses that surrounded you. You wished you took the day off today.

“[name]?! Where are you?” Aki’s voice boomed from your left.

You couldn’t say anything. All you could muster was a quiet plead for the devil to stop. You take back what you thought, they were biting you. Not in a zombie way, they were chewing on your flesh to heal. It felt like hell. Why didn’t they just kill you before they started to feast? You can feel your blood turning cold as it oozed out from your soon to be corpse.

“[name]?! Motherfucker-“ Aki rushed over and sliced the Devil’s head, blade nearly hitting you. There’s no way your making it out alive. “[name]?! Can you still hear me? Fuck… what did it do to you…?”

His voice was ringing in your ears, you couldn’t see anymore, you couldn’t even respond was a movement. Your eyes were already forced shut when the devil was devouring you, you couldn’t open them again.

“Fuck fuck fuck, there’s no way you’re… I never saw this future. How was I supposed to prevent this?” Aki cried as he held your bloodied body in his arms. He couldn’t do much other than to choose between calling someone and tell them you’re dead or being you to a hospital and waste their time. Aki decided to bring you to the hospital, he heard rumors that Public Safety that fiends were made from devil hunters who died on field, he didn’t want that for you. He’d rather know your body was resting forever than see it be reanimated unconsentually by another devil.

Aki cried in the hospital’s bathroom stall, even though he loved you, he still didn’t want anyone to witness him cry. You were officially pronounced dead a few minutes later. Aki did his best to contact your family in person to tell them about you, but he couldn’t find much.

Aki wasn’t surprised that he was in your will, what did surprise him was the box he received from your home.

‘Dear Aki, if you’re reading this then it means I died before you. I’m sorry for leaving you so soon, you’ll be okay, I promise. Don’t miss me too much, I have a lot of notes here all for you! Read them if you want, or preserve them. I hope they make you feel better or something like that, if you couldn’t guess already, I’m horrible with words. I’ll always have so much more to say, but I’ll just stick with this!

I love you, Aki.

-[name].’

[1]

‘Dear [name]—

I wonder how you’re doing.

-Aki.’

•••|•••|•••|•••|•••

MASTERLIST

Yours truly, 💟

50 notes · View notes

hikarry · 1 year ago

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Author's notes: CW - violence, blood and injuries

Me, pushing my glasses up my nose: Now we talking

#obviously about good omens #i eat angst for breakfast #spencer speaks

0 notes

captainkirkk · 11 months ago

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Another favourite angst trope: When a character is so used to being treated badly that they don't see anything wrong with it and talk and think about it very matter-of-factly

Until they meet the other characters and see how HORRIFIED they are every time they reveal another detail from their past

#my posts #tropes #this trope is also great when paired with the 'not used to freedom' trope #like a character very matter-of-factly asking if they're allowed to eat lunch because they've already eaten breakfast #and they werent previously allowed regular meals #but didnt realise that that wasnt normal #whump #ive made a few 'favourite angst' trope posts #should i make this a series

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quixotical-lymbo · 6 months ago

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Hey there! I love your writing and especially with Mk, and so I'm just here to drop by and ask you if I could have some Mk angst, preferably with a female!reader, but if you want, go with a gn!reader. I don't really mind which format, do whatever's easiest for you!

What I have in mind is where reader realizes that Mk is literally- in figuratively way- destroying himself with work, hero duties, and romance. Not wanting that, reader is trying to break up with the chaos incarnate to lessen his load.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and I understand if you don't want to do this, just wanted to drop by!

Pairing: MK x fem!Reader Rating: SFW Summary: Being in a relationship with the world's hero isn't all sunshine and rainbows. There are many responsibilities that come with it. So, making a decision like this would help you two in the long run…right? Warnings/Tags: Post s5 spoilers YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, angst, hurt/no comfort, and breakup. Word Count: 1300+ words 🍜 - I like the way you think anon...ur evil >:)/pos

"Can…can you repeat that for me? I don't think I heard you right."

"I'm breaking up with you."

"Ha..haha, hehe, you're funny! That was a good one, cutie! Really got me there," MK wiped a tear from the corner of his eye as he glanced around the park you two were sitting in. "Now, what vendor are we gonna hit today? Y'know I think I wanna try that-"

"MK."

MK grimaced before turning his gaze onto you. You took in a deep breath before letting it out and with one hand stretched to rest on his arm.

"Did I…did I do something wrong?" MK's voice trembled as he spoke, his own hand reaching up to land on top of yours.

"Oh goodness, no-" You reassured as you took his hand in yours. "-nothing like that."

"Then why?"

Exactly. Why were you ruining an almost picture perfect relationship for no apparent reason? And so out of the blue? I mean, your boyfriend just got back from his nth time saving-the-world expedition and that meant he had a lot more time to spend the peaceful days with you. So…why?

—🍜—-

You stirred the remaining noodles in your bowl, the lukewarm soup brought an unexplainable comfort to your cold palms. With a few glances toward the door, your unease grew as the seconds ticked by.

"He's supposed tah be 'ere twenty minutes ago," Pigsy's voice grumbled from within the kitchen. "I got way too many orders for him to be messin' around wit my time-"

"-I'M HERE, I'M HERE-...Oh! Pookie!?" MK's gaze landed on you as he staggered from the door he slammed open. You called out his name with the same amount of adoration as he walked up to your side and planted a wet kiss on your forehead.

"I'll be right back after I finish up here," MK promised as his smile trembled from the strain of keeping it up. You merely raised a brow at the state of his messy hair, gloomy vibes, and overall…stressed look?

"Oh, we don't have to do anything tonight if you're not up for it-"

"-NO, ahem, no worries, my love, I'm A-okay! Just be ready for your feet to be swept when your prince charming comes back!" MK blew a few kisses and winked in your direction before collecting the orders from Pigsy and hightailing it out of the shop. You and Pigsy watched as MK almost tripped out of the door.

"Is…he always like this…?" You glanced at your boyfriend's father. Pigsy sighed as he ran a hand down his face, his brow creased from a multitude of things causing him headaches; his son being a major contributor.

"You don't know the half of it, kid."

There were a few more instances where you felt like MK was speed-running for the entire duration you two were supposed to be spending time together. Whether it was on dates, hanging with Mei, or even just bumping into each other. Your interactions were sweet, short, and to the point. Sometimes, MK's love bombing was downright suffocating. One time you could barely get out of bed with how hard he hugged you during movie night.

The following weeks were a whirlwind of craziness that you were, unfortunately, caught up in. Watching your boyfriend hop in a truck and run away from a confrontation between a celestial and…was that the monkey king?

Whoever that was, you were already sprinting back home to avoid getting yourself in harm's way.

That was the last time you saw MK for a while until two weeks or so later. By the time MK and co had returned, you had already decided what you were going to do moving forward. The answer was clear as day in your mind and made the most sense. After all, MK didn't need anything else added onto his plate of responsibilities and he certainly didn't need you.

Sadly, your heart was still (and still is) conflicted.

—🍜—-

Your gaze wandered away from him and MK hated how he couldn't see your face. He disliked it as much as the anticipation eating away at him, making his hands sweat way more than he was comfortable with. You struggled to properly find the words and when that failed you, the only thing you could muster was a few choppy sentences that probably didn't make much sense.

"I just think it's for the best," Your voice wavered as the irritating sting in your eyes meant the waterworks weren't far behind. MK didn't seem like he could hold his back for long as he cleared his throat and nodded along with what you said.

"Right, right, uh-...then," MK stood up from the bench and offered his hand to you. "Can I at least walk you home? It's getting late and I…" don't want to say goodbye.

A smile broke out on your face as you sniffed, happily placing your hand in his and the two of you began trekking back to your home. The stillness that surrounded you both was…oddly cathartic, cozy, and made you feel lighter than air. That heavy weight that had been sitting on your chest was finally lifted. In its place there was a giant abyss left where your heart would be. You ignored this seeping feeling of dread, at least you managed to lighten your—MK's load.

The sight of your neighborhood caused MK to squeeze your hand from time to time with each step taken, corner rounded, and familiar sights leading to the end of the both of you.

MK wished in the back of his mind for you to say something, to let him know that this was all an elaborate prank, a joke that you would surely confess the punchline as soon as he led you to the door of your home.

None of that happened.

Instead, MK was standing in front of your door with you standing before him. The dim light from the nearby lamp post illuminated your skin beautifully under the moonlight.

"Thank you for walking me back..I'll..um."

"It's no worries, I.."

The two young adults awkwardly glanced elsewhere as the uneasiness from earlier lingered. You shook your head and opened your arms, "Hug?"

MK looked up from where he kicked at the floor and grinned, "Hug."

One step and the two of you were wrapped in each other's confining, warm embrace.

"I'm gonna miss you," MK admitted through choked tears that escaped him.

"I'll be here if you need me, but we need this…you need this," You rubbed a comforting hand on MK's back, frowning at the sight of his shoulders shuddering and the sound of his feeble sniffles. After a few more seconds, MK was the first to pull out of the hug. His face was damp with tears and what appeared to be snot, the corners of his eyes already looked puffy as he quickly wiped at his face.

"..." You wanted nothing more than to comfort him further, but you had to draw a line somewhere if this was going to work. You turned to unlock your door and stepped inside, peeking out to wish the noodle boy one final goodnight. MK simply waved as the door closed, your face disappearing from sight but it was the only thing he could see in his mind.

No one else was there to witness MK on autopilot. The dark-haired male shuffled out of your neighborhood and somehow ended up halfway up the stairs to his apartment. MK stepped inside his room, yet he couldn't even make it to his bed before he completely crashed on the carpet. Fat blobs of water spilt from his eyes, his frown opening to release the storm of emotions that have been festering the whole interaction.

Only after his tears dried and the sun began peaking over the horizon did MK manage to fall asleep.

🍜 - I do not give permission for anyone to translate, copy, republish, or plagiarize any of my written works. I provide no permission for any of my literary works to be used in artificial intelligence. sparkle banner(s) by @adornedwithlight !!

#lmk x reader #lego monkie kid #thanks anon!#anon ask #anon request #lmk mk x reader #lmk mk #angst #lmk season 5 #lmk season 5 spoilers #lmk spoilers #hurt/no comfort #I genuinely love this request I got #I eat angst for breakfast lunch and dinner #hehehehehehe

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monbons · 1 month ago

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Carry On Countdown Day 22: Angst

I break the rabbit's neck with my hands and suck it completely dry. (I don't spill a drop on its white fur or my cuffs.) Then I toss it into the skip. Lamb looks utterly put off. "Oh, Baz," he says in dismay. "No wonder you're so pale. You're malnourished." ~Wayward Son, Rainbow Rowell

Angst on so many levels. Vampire angst. Lamb angst. The sound of my own heart breaking for poor malnourished Baz...

Today's pocket surprise: Lamb finger puppet

@carryon-countdown

#i could eat angst with a spoon for breakfast #and wayward son is an angst buffet #probably also why it is my favorite in the trilogy #love me some lamb #love me some vamp angst #baz pitch #lamb the vampire king #please also imagine a very angry simon puppet flapping around wildly just out of frame #coc 2024 #carry on countdown #carry on countdown 2024 #the monbons doll factory presents coc 2024

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afranticsonicperson · 1 year ago

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*cue a gunshot 5 seconds later* holy shit tumblr compressed this drawing like ass

anyway, shadow goes through the same traumatic event again, repeating history, but illustrated.. fun!

god I haven’t drawn digitally in years

#i lied #not fun at all #poor shadow man #im so sorry but #i eat angst for breakfast ok #it’s my specialty #sonic #sth #sonic the hedgehog #shadow #shadow the hedgehog #sth fanart #my art #tails #miles tails prower #tails the fox

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impala-67-zeppelin · 2 months ago

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so who’s gonna write the fic where jayce and viktor survive the wild rune explosion but for the first 3/4 months only jayce returned bc essentially the arcane hates him and he isn’t compatible with it to the extent that viktor is (and basically the arcane is like rebuilding viktors body so they can send him back as well) but in the most dean winchester way possible, jayce’s brain convinces him that it was his fault viktor didnt “survive” bc he let go of him and honestly the mf tears himself up about it bc he basically killed his bff/partner/lover again. but what really happened was that the arcane separated them so it could heal and punish viktor AND viktor chooses to stay, similar to the deancas purgatory arc when dean starts to hallucinate cas everywhere and feels like he failed him again only for cas to come back and show him how wrong he is. [edit]bc cas/viktor chose to condemn/punish themselves for their actions against humanity but mainly how they hurt dean/jayce while losing themselves to power (leviathan!cas and the machine herald). so, they let go and push dean/jayce away. and similarly to dean, the reason jayce convinced himself otherwise was bc dealing with that guilt was easier than facing the fact that viktor chose to leave him. again.

also made this post off no sleep so i had to come back to revise and add more!

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princyvish · 9 months ago

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inspired off of Phantump's fucked up Pokedex entry, some brother angst that I originally thought of back in November!! Yippee!!

#the day I stop developing my ASL angst aus will be the day I vanish from the planet #i LOVE angst I eat it for breakfast it FUELS me #also I love pokemon. Pokemon is neat too #asl brothers #phantump ace au #portgas d ace #one piece ace #ace one piece #revolutionary sabo #one piece sabo #sabo one piece #monkey d luffy #luffy one piece #one piece luffy #one piece #one piece au #AudrinArt

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awesomeferret10 · 7 months ago

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Don’t think about the period between “Food Battle 2023” and “My Dead Friend”

Don’t think about how Sketch!Ian and Sketch!Anthony have been roommates since 2008 (with a brief period from 2016-2023 where Ian thought he was living with a wife not a best friend) and are always with each other.

Don’t think about how normal it is after a food battle for whoever died to get up and carry on with their normal lives the next day.

Don’t think about Sketch!Ian bringing Sketch!Anthonys body home after the ol’ scissoroo and waiting for him to wake up the next morning so they can go back to their usual nonsense

Don’t think about Sketch!Anthony not getting up the next morning.

Or the next.

Don’t think about the 14 days that passed between “Food Battle 2023” and “My Dead Friend”.

Don’t think about how much Sketch!Ian wants his best friend back.

Don’t think about Sketch!Ian sobbing at every little reminder that “Anthony isn’t back yet, 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬.”

Don’t think about Sketch!Ian desperately trying to date and move on.

Don’t think about Sketch!Ian getting more and more desperate until he goes onto the dark web, and pours all his time into reanimating Sketch!Anthony.

Don’t think about Sketch!Ian getting increasingly more panicked as Sketch!Anthony’s body begins to decay.

Don’t think about Sketch!Ian finally having to let go of Sketch!Anthonys body (either in the canonical nuclear explosion or if you’re being angsty about it sobbing, burying him as he’s finally too decayed to puppet, too rotted to pretend he’s still alive).

Don’t think about Sketch!Ian being so upset and setting up a small memorial in what was once their shared house.

Don’t think about Sketch!Ian being so depressed that his friends notice and begin setting him up with people to take his mind off it.

Don’t think about Sketch!Ian paying his neighbor off and willingly spreading the rumor that he shit himself to all his friends so that he can put his undivided attention on grieving Sketch!Anthony. On mourning his best friend, and the guilt that comes with the fact he killed him.

Don’t think about how the next time we see Sketch!Anthony is March 1st.

Don’t think about how that’s more than 3 months after he died.

Don’t think about how we have no idea when he came back.

Don’t think about how long Ian might have been grieving for.

𝐃𝐎 think about how when his roommate and best friend died all Sketch!Ians friends began setting him up on dates. Think about how that implies his friends think they’re an item, or life partners, or something of the sort. Think so god damn hard about how in Sketch!Ian’s friend’s minds a girlfriend is a replacement to Sketch!Anthony. Think about what everyone around them assumes they are. Think about how reasonable that assumption is when two 36 year old financially stable men are still roommates and have been since they were 21. Think about how in love Sketch!Ian and Sketch!Anthony are with each other whether in a gay way or not.

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kainebell · 1 year ago

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ohhhohoh I cannot wait to see Mal……I want that man TORTURED and TORMENTED and UNABLE TO PROCESS THAT THE LOVE HE’S SPENT A YEAR MOURNING IS STANDING IN FRONT OF HIM….that man better be BROKEN!! his usual bravado gone!! a husk of a man in its place!!

#I eat angst like this for breakfast #playchoices #blades of light and shadow #and the reunion?? It better give MC rescuing Damien from Eros!!#mal volari

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angelasscribbles · 2 years ago

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This was amazing! It was sweet and funny and angsty as fuck!

I seriously laughed so many times at Liam's inner monologue!!!

This was truly an amazing bit of writing!

And the bit about Bertrand shirtless killed me! Especially since @harleybeaumont is writing sexy Bertrand lol!

Great job!!!! You're a talented writer!!

I have an ask we know during the engagement tour that Riley has to build a barn. What if we get Liams POV when he sees Riley with drake who by the way is not wearing a shirt. We already know he’s catching feelings for her. But what if there’s some sort of flirting between them. Besides Liam is engage to that grass eater Madeline.

😂😂😂 Let's see what I can do. I'm always up for Liam's POV in the TRR books. He gets sidelined so much in what would be normal reactions. Here's how I think he would feel. You'll have to forgive any grammar/spelling mistakes. I'm currently in an airbnb without my laptop. All this is on my phone which has given up spellcheck LOL! I needed to write and divert my attention from all the mess with moving. This request and the others are just what I need.

@gkittylove99 @krsnlove @kingliam2019 @texaskitten30 @yourmajesty09 @mom2000aggie @ofpixelsandscribbles @twinkleallnight @lodberg @amandablink @neotericthemis @mm2305 @sfb123 @iufilms

Masterlist

Suspicion Rising

"Yeah! We showed that beam!" Maxwell cheered, making certain the reporters noticed them.

Cameras clicked while members of the oress murmured about the small group working on the barn.

"Isn't that right Liam?" Madeleine elbowed him.

The young king attempted to drag his attention back toward whatever was being said. Ana Du Luca held her microphone towards him in anticipation.

His mind though wondered if it was his imagination or just the constant fear over losing Riley he now had as his companion.

Is she...is she staring at Drake?

Granted the man was shirtless at the moment. He'd clearly been working before Maxwell and Riley arrived, given how sweaty he was. Hana had been helping him and was even glistening herself in the morning sunlight.

Surely, it is just my imagination making me think that--

"Riley," Maxwell said excitedly, "how about you and I find a way to blow the socks off the reporters?" He leaned in closer with a wink. "Best part, it involves power tools!"

"You could always join me in hammering planks." Hana added. She lifted her hair off her neck in an attempt to cool off. "I'd love to have your company.

"You're welcome to stick around and help me lift a few more beams." Drake smirked. "With your outfit and a special surprise helper, I think we can get you all the attention you need."

Riley seemed to debate her options.

She hasn't even tried to look over at me.

Liam's lips firmed into a frown over that thought.

Why isn't she hoping like I am that we can find a moment to be together?

"I think..." Riley teased.

Don't pick Drake. Don't pick Drake. Don't pick Drake.

Liam wasn't sure why that particular thought was revolving around and around in his head, but he sincerely hoped she'd choose anyone other than--

"I think I'll stay here and help Drake." She announced.

Of course. This is exactly how I thought my day would go. Pretend before everyone that this ancient tradition of erecting a barn in honor of my upcoming marriage to a woman I don't want is the happiest day of my life. Add my best friend getting to spend the day in half naked splendor with the woman I do want to the mix and you have Liam's Best Day Ever!

"Liam." Madeleine hissed when she saw where he was looking. "Ana is waiting on your answer, darling."

"Forgive me." Liam mumbled. "I just realized what a..." His eyes narrowed somewhat when Riley and Drake disappeared into the barn. "I just realized what a lazy king I must look like for not helping do my part in the construction."

He nodded his head to the reporters while attempting to wrench his arm out of Madeleine's vice like grip.

"I believe Lady Madeleine can finish the rest of the interview." His smile was bright and hopefully was one that was innocent. "I think of the two of us, I'm better with a hammer."

The reporters chuckled at that while Madeleine briefly rolled her eyes. She once again pasted on her delighted court smile and directed everyone's attention back to the couple's plans during the upcoming tour.

Liam slipped his jacket off. He rolled up his sleeves, found a few random tools, and quietly entered the barn.

"I can't believe you thought of all this." Riley said softly. "You must care a lot."

"Yeah, well," Drake cleared his throat. "I do."

Liam's eyes widened. He ducked behind a stack of wood, hoping one of them would elaborate.

I made a mistake. Why did I insist on Drake watching over her? Why did I hope the two people I love would develop a friendship? How many relationships go from friends to lovers?

Drake has no obligations. He has no one saying he can or can't do anything, like being with a woman embroiled in scandal. He saved Riley while I was tucked away in my bed without a clue to what was going on within my own home!

She's going to realize I'm not worth it. Riley will see that putting up with the rare free moments I can give aren't enough. She'll come to hate me for having to pretend Madeliene and I are in love. I don't know if I could do it if our situation was reversed. To see her with someone else, though she aays it means nothing...I don't think I would be strong enough.

"Let's get that photo-op you need." Drake motioned for Riley to head outside. "Ready?"

Liam then noticed the black horse that Riley had bought during the competition.

"Hey girl." She crooned softly while taking the reins. "I've missed you. Has Liam been taking good care of you while I've been gone?"

The horse nuzzled her when she reached up to pet her.

Riley's laughter made Liam ache to be near her.

"I see that he has." She told her horse, her smile dimming somewhat. "Liam does have a way of making you feel special, doesn't he?"

"Brooks?" Drake called out from where he had attached a beam to a pulley system. "Let's do this."

"Right." Riley seemed to shake herself out of her doldrums. "Come on, Starfire. Time to get our picture taken."

She looks perfect. Just like in everything she does.

Liam noticed he wasn't the only one watching her closely.

Drake had a grin on his face too.

Riley hurried back inside. "It worked! Your idea to use Starfire really won them over!"

Drake shrugged. "I knew it would." He stepped closer to her. "Especially with that outfit of yours."

Her what now? Since when did Drake notice clothes on a person?

Riley grinned. "Doesn't it scream girl who builds barns?"

No, it screams beautiful girl who looks exceptionally cute in her shorts and plaid shirt is spending too much time with a half-naked man in the shadows of a partially constructed barn!

Liam had had enough. He wasn't going to stay hidden and allow The Buff Shritless Wonder to have all her attention. He deserved a chance to reassure her that he was wishing this day had been meant for them.

A yelp caught everyone's attention.

"Kiara!" Riley hurried over to the trapped lady.

"Oh geez." Drake grumbled on his way to help.

Liam peeped out from the side of his hiding place to see what was going on.

"Don't try to lift these by yourself." Drake ordered while lifting a board up off of Kiara. "Come find me or some noble to help."

"I'll..." The lady stared at his chest. "I'll find someone like you next time."

Is everyone enamored with Drake's torso? He looks like any other guy who works out. Like me. Or Maxwell. I bet if Bertrand ever took his vest and shirt off he'd probably have something worthy of a stare or two.

Why am I thinking of men without shirts right now?

Liam needed to get out of there and actually do some work instead of watching to make certain Riley didn't drool over Drake. He quietly slipped out a nearby exit, set the random tools down, and began to paint the exterior of the barn.

Liam covered his eyes then let his hand drop down his face. He knew he had reached the point of absolute absurdity once he gave the argument for Bertrand being attractive without a shirt on.

"I think you have an admirer." Riley said once Kiara walked away.

"I have a what? Who?" Drake asked.

Riley gestured toward the lady's departing figure.

"That's not funny, Brooks." Drake grumbled.

"I'm not laughing." Riley replied.

Neither am I, though it is mostly because of where this conversation could go if you two decide to continue it!

"Look, I don't want to think about it. Let's just get back to work." Drake ran his hand through his hair, forcing himself to turn away from Riley.

"Okay." She went back to her horse to finish lifting the remaining beams to the second floor.

While he worked he saw Riley go from one friend to another to help with their jobs. It eased his mind a little to see that she had not remained with Drake. By late afternoon, their work was complete.

Liam thanked a few of the nobles who had remained the entire time. He then noticed Riley surrounded by their friends once again.

Maxwell flopped on the ground, causing her to giggle. Drake was still shirtless. Hana looked as if she had come from a magazine shoot instead of doing a long day of construction.

It was too much.

Liam slipped his hands in his pockets while he debated on how to approach them. There was no one around, so he could drop the act he was forced to perform.

Needing to spend time with Riley, even if it was with everyone else, he headed over there.

"Well done, my lords and ladies." He greeted with a smile. "Everything looks great."

"Not bad for a bunch of pampered nobles." Drake agreed.

Liam settled his gaze upon Riley.

Is she happy to finally interact with me or not?

"It was fun." Her nose wrinkled playfully at him. "Though I could definitely use a bath right now."

Is that why she isn't standing near me? She's afraid she's too sweaty? If she only knew I'd endure anything to be by her side...

Maxwell jumped to his feet. "There's a spa not too far from here! Why don't we all go?"

"That sounds lovely!" Hana clasped her hands together, her hopeful gaze touching on each of hee friends. "Can we go?"

"I'd love to." Liam added, once more looking at Riley.

"So would I." Her cheeks heated under his stare.

"Then let's go!" Maxwell herded Hana and Drake over foward a waiting car.

Liam fell into step beside Riley.

She checked over her shoulder, before moving closer to his side.

Liam felt the slight brush of her fingers against his before her hand slipped into his.

So she does still like me. Maybe Drake's bare torso isn't as powerful as I thought.

#angsty liam is the best liam #shirtless drake is the best drake #I eat angst for breakfast #it's delicious #great story #loved it #everyone read this

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