#I dunno. I dunno!! I feel like my colors are really dull and unsatisfying and more densely pigmented paint would make me really happy

[blujayonthewing]

part of me wants to invest in a few Good Watercolors part of me is like 'I don't DESERVE good watercolors I haven't EARNED THE RIGHT to get good watercolors'

[thoughtssvt]

geto suguru x depressed reader

cw : emotional hurt/comfort, mild depictions of the hidden parts of depression that nobody really wants to talk about - having trouble doing basic tasks (bathing)

your clothes felt a little too heavy. your eyelids. the little peach fuzz on your cheeks. the muscle rested against your tibia. they were all just a little too much to move.

you've been feeling this way for a few days.

despite the summer sun shining hot through the shutters of your bedroom window, yesterday's memories are clouded by grey skies. colors dull and muted. seventy-two hours gone by and you can't really remember what they were about. doom scrolling, sleeping definitely. there's a good chance you hadn't left your bed at all.

you were starting to feel gross. maybe the heaviness came with the oil that slicked the strands of your hair together or the dead skin that sat atop your forearm. god, why did it have to be like this? why couldn't you just get up and walk to the shower? why was it so hard?

you were in the same position you'd been in the last week when suguru found you. a few days of missions and a few more of concern until he decided that crossing a boundary would be worth it to see if you were okay. you'd given him a key, but he'd always been respectful of your space, never barging in uninvited until today.

you cringed at the way he cupped your face, his fingers and palm splayed against your greasy locks so he could sweep a stray strand from your forehead. he didn't mind, though. you know he didn't. he'd been there. but you couldn't help but shy away at the vulnerability. being in front of him like this.

he leaned in for a kiss and you shirked away. the most movement you've done in days. insecurity, guilt, shame. all piling on top of you. "I haven't showered in over a week, suguru." you'd said.

now you stood in the shower, curtain drawn as the cold tile froze the back of suguru's thighs and the protruding bones on his ankles blushed an angry red at the pressure he put on them sitting crisscrossed on your bathroom floor, his back to the shower.

"i'll sit with you and we can just... talk." he'd said it so gently, a small smile on his face. his words doing most of the heavy lifting as he pulled the blanket off and brought you to sit with his hands supporting your elbows.

you'd been in there a long time, you at least knew that. the water pelting against your back as you stared at your feet, listening to suguru ramble, never letting silence fill up a single crack so you wouldn't feel alone. not even for a second.

you finished somehow, your body feeling lighter as he spoke. his voice smooth and just loud enough to be heard over the splashes of water. like it was a normal conversation he was having over the phone. he sat there as long as you needed him to.

"feels better, doesn't it? we can do this again whenever you need it." he said over the rim of his hot tea, your own hot mug in your hands as you sat at the dinner table waiting to have your first proper meal in weeks. "but if you don't feel up for it you don't have to be ashamed or feel guilty," he murmured in that same silky timbre that went on and on while you were in the shower, planting a soft kiss against your forehead. "this isn't something you have to go through by yourself. i love you just as you are."

A/N : i dunno i just had this scene in my head that i couldn't stop thinking about but also didn't know how to end so honestly i am a little unsatisfied with the ending, but i do hope this gave you some type of solace. you are loved even if your brain makes you feel otherwise <3 i also have a few more depressed reader x jjk men ideas that hopefully get better over time. i think these are the types of fics i wanna put out into the world please bear with me while i learn how to do so <3

geto x reader masterlist

heart chain divider and purple line divider by @/adornedwithlight

[shroomcult]

Hey folks!

Here’s my Day 1 post for Soma Week 2021. Tooth-rotting fluff towards the end - please enjoy. ^-^

@soulxmakaweek

Maka awoke with an audible groan, first registering the lack of her weapon’s familiar soul wavelength in the room before anything else. Whether she was disappointed or grateful of his absence was difficult to determine in her hazy mindstate.

Soul had been fussing over her for the past day, and while his concern for her comfort was endearing - his mother hen routine got old fast. 

His over-attentive behavior was at least understandable. He had little to do cooped up in their hotel room, and ended up alternating between watching cooking shows at a considerately low volume, pacing around what little square footage they had, and laying in his bed beside hers tapping out the rhythm to whatever was blaring from his headphones. He was sure to pester her about how she was feeling at least every 20 minutes and his restlessness had been grinding on her last nerve before she fell into a fitful sleep. 

If she had to hear “you okay?” or “need anything?” one more time, she was liable to snap and throw the closest object to her directly at his dumb, fluffy head. Not that he actually deserved it.

If she were being honest with herself, she was mostly frustrated with the situation itself - not Soul.

Well, maybe she was a little frustrated with Soul. 

He may have been outwardly kind towards her in her predicament, but she could feel something else beneath the surface of that. She was well-versed in the subtle language of Soul’s facial expressions after all. 

He was dying to tease her, and while she commended him for keeping his mouth blessedly shut about the humor in her suffering - she knew it amused him at least a little bit.

Because despite the fact that they had been sent to the bustling beach-side city of Recife, Brazil to take down a particularly cunning and repulsive kishin - she was not stuck in bed over any kind of work-related injury inflicted during their battle with the corrupted beast. 

There was no glory or dignity that could be gained from the current state of her weakness. She had not received her injuries from a tense and thrilling battle, but instead from being negligent in her application of sunscreen before falling asleep splayed out on a beach towel under the unforgiving afternoon sun.

Soul had even recommended that she apply sunscreen a second time for her “hella pasty” skin and she responded to his comment in kind by throwing the sunscreen bottle at him with impressive accuracy and force.  

Now she was bedridden with what was likely sun poisoning and had a complexion comparable to a hot dog. 

Perhaps she should have taken Soul’s advice after all.

She also may have reached her last straw with Soul’s smothering behavior earlier and said something along the lines of “please get the hell out of here and give me at least an hour of peace,” before taking her rather unsatisfying nap.

That certainly explained his absence.

She let out a heavy sigh before deciding she would deal with the pain of moving so that she could re-apply aloe vera for the twentieth time that day. Only this was the first time she would be doing it without Soul’s assistance.

It was difficult to reach most areas of her back without him. She was certainly flexible enough to do it on her own, but the pain that came with stretching her arms was something she would prefer to avoid experiencing if possible.

She started on lathering her arms and chest area first, grounding herself in the way it stung yet soothed at the same time. 

She only got through a small portion of her back before the combination of fatigue, nausea, and pain convinced her to give it a rest. 

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to just figure out where Soul was. She didn’t need him or anything. She was just checking in - making sure he didn’t get himself into any trouble while she was asleep.

She made an awkward hobble across the room to retrieve her phone, careful to avoid bending her scorched appendages on the way there. 

It only took a ring and a half for Soul to pick up her call, and she cursed herself for the way her entire body relaxed a little at the sound of his voice.

“Hey. Everything alright?”

He had that pleasant gravelly quality to his voice that usually indicated he either just woke up or he had a few drinks. 

“I’m fine, Soul. I just woke up, actually. What have you been up to?” she’d tried to sound casual, but the hitch in her voice when she tried to lower herself back on to the bed betrayed her. The soft cotton sheets felt like they may as well have been a brillo pad against her sensitive flesh.

“Just givin’ you space like you asked. Found a neat little place to drink just down the road from us. To be honest with you, I think it might be a swinger bar or somethin’ - everyone here is middle aged and horny as hell.”

Maka felt a twinge of irritation at that last comment. Was he really off flirting with a bunch of Brazillian cougars while she was stuck in bed?

“S’not like I’m interested, but they keep buyin’ me drinks anyway. I don’t speak very good Portuguese and they seem to think that’s pretty sexy of me,” he added with a throaty chuckle that raised goosebumps across her skin.

“Why don’t you just stay there all night then! I could care less what you do!!”

She felt a bit childish for her outburst, but blamed it on Soul’s innate ability to push every last button she has in very few words.

“If you don’t care, then why’d ya call me in the first place?” She could just tell that his lip was curling into a smirk by his voice alone. Oh, he is so lucky he’s not in book-throwing distance.

“Just wanted to make sure you weren’t dead in a ditch somewhere,” she murmured with only a little bit of edge left in her. 

“Oh yeah? That all?”

“.... Also, I guess you can come back to the hotel room.”

“Sorry? Can you speak up a little?”

“I said you can come back to the hotel room! Don’t make me say it again or you can sleep on the streets!”

He responded with an amused snort, “Oh, that’s very gracious of you. What a loving and benevolent meister I have.”

“Yeah, whatever. Don’t fall in a ditch on your way here.”

“Love ya too, Maka. Be there in a few.”

With that the phone call cut off, and she was left staring at the ceiling and feeling an overwhelming warmth in her face.

She decided to blame that on the sunburn rather than her weapon’s comment.

It only took about 20 minutes before she heard the click of the hotel door as it swung open, her partner poking his head in first and flashing her a shark-toothed smile before he kicked the door open the rest of the way. He was carrying an entire pack of drinks under his arm and a plastic CVS bag in the other.

“Stopped by CVS round the corner. Dunno if you’ll like ‘em, but I got these weird electrolyte drinks. S’posed to help hydrate you better or something,” he said as he plopped down at the end of the bed, emptying the contents of the plastic bag.

“Also got you some ibuprofen, more aloe, and a couple snack things. I know you said you weren’t hungry, but you should really try and eat at least a little bit.”

Maka only nodded, slightly overwhelmed by how caring he was being despite her recently sour attitude. 

He tilted his head to the side for a moment, regarding her with gentle eyes before he got up and sat closer to her on the bed, being especially careful not to let his legs touch hers.

He slowly placed the back of his hand against her forehead muttering something about a fever, but she was too focused on his close proximity to her to even register what he was saying. He smelled of beer and limes and sunscreen.

His skin was a perfect bronze color, and he was showing off a lot more of it than he usually did. He was clad only in swim trunks, slider sandals, and a loose-hanging tank top that the top of his scar peeked out of.

He had been out in the sun just as long as she had, napping right beside her even, and yet his skin only tanned; never burned. The lucky bastard. 

He used the same hand he’d checked her forehead with to brush back a few stray hairs from her face. “Sleep okay?” he asked in a hushed tone, as if he were worried his voice would bother her. 

“I slept okay, I guess. Not much else I can do right now anyways.”

He nodded and gave a sympathetic click of his tongue, running his hand through her hair a few times before reaching for the aloe on the nightstand.

“Need me to get your back?”

She ignored his question, opting to rub the short-cropped silver whiskers covering his jaw with her palm.

“You need to shave.”

He rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated huff, squeezing the tube of aloe into his palms and rubbing them together. 

“I’ll just take that as a yes and pretend you think I’m roguishly handsome.”

That earned him a laugh from her that clipped short when he placed his hands softly on her back. It only hurt for the first brief moment of contact, but she soon hummed her approval as the stinging sensation in her back felt dulled and soothed wherever his hands caressed her. 

He was talented with his hands - knew just the right amount of pressure to give and take at each moment. She really had needed this. Trying to reach that spot between her shoulder blades on her own had been a nightmare.

Minutes passed with only the sounds of their breath and Soul’s practiced hands over her skin. It should have been awkward, but it wasn’t. Everything was just easy with him.

“Hey, Soul?”

He acknowledged her with a noncommittal grunt.

“Thank you. I know I haven’t exactly been pleasant lately, but I really do appreciate all of your help.”

She wanted to say more, it felt as though she hadn’t really expressed to him how much he means to her, but Soul wasn’t one for flowery words and declarations of love. She knew that was enough of a thanks for him. 

“You don’t gotta thank me for all that, Maka. We’re partners, this is what we do for each other.”

“Right,” she whispered, a faint smile gracing her lips.

“All done,” he announced, “you gonna hang tight and read for a bit?”

“No - I’d like to, but I just feel too tired and nauseous to focus on anything like that right now. Maybe I’ll just try to take another nap.”

Without a word, he sauntered over to the book she had brought - a period-piece romance novel that he would make fun of at the first given opportunity. After it was in his grasp, he collapsed on his back right next to her. He really did kind of reek of beer, but she didn’t have the heart to push him away.

Once he found her bookmarked spot, he started from the top of the page with a hardy clear of his throat, reading the lead male love interest’s lines in the most posh and ridiculous accent she could have imagined.

She immediately burst into an uncontrollable fit of giggles and snorts, which only encouraged him to continue, smiling from ear to ear as he did.

She nearly ran out of breath when he began reading the female heroine’s dialogue in a shrill voice that sounded more like an old British nanny than a pretty young woman. 

He continued this entertainment for an admirable hour and a half before he had to admit that his vocal cords were defeated from the strain of ‘fancy British lady voice.’ 

By the time he had put the book aside, she had a hand curled around his bicep and her face was buried in his neck.

He’d said he was watching TV, but he fell asleep within 10 minutes of setting her book down much like an old man.

Her skin felt dry and tight, a feeling she was easily able to ignore while Soul was reading for her. She was aware that she’d need to get up soon to re-apply aloe, or she’d regret it later. Yet, it was so difficult to move away from him. 

He was breathing deeply, and he smelled less like a bar and more like a beach the closer she was to him. He always looked so peaceful when he slept too. He looked young, like he didn’t carry the exhaustion that he usually does. 

Despite the calm, collected demeanor he always tried to hold around others - he carried a lot of weight on his shoulders from pretending to be the person that other people need him to be. From taking the load off other people’s backs, he only strained himself and she felt this tiredness from it all that seeped into the very cracks of his soul.

She wished he didn’t have to try so hard all the time. She wished he could let himself be taken care of for once.

“I know you told me before that I don’t need to thank you. That the things you do for me are what I should expect from a partner, but you really are more than that to me, Soul,” she’d only whispered this into the crook of his neck, but she lifted her head up just to check that he was still unconscious. 

He appeared serene, his breathing steady and not a crinkle in his face to indicate her words had disturbed him from his slumber.

“You can always depend on me too. I’d love to take care of you the way you take care of me. You deserve that - you know that, right?”

Not even a twitch.

She sighed, not expecting him to respond in the first place, but a little disappointed she hadn’t had the courage to tell him this while he was awake. She assumed it safe that he was in a deep sleep and began threading her fingers through his thick tufts of hair sticking up from his forehead.

“I know that when you say you love me, you’re talking about as a partner, as a friend. Well, I love you too. I love you a lot, Soul. I’m always afraid to say it back ... because it would carry a different weight when I say it. It’s like I’m afraid you’d just know.”

His breath hitched for a moment and her heart nearly jumped into her throat. 

He only readjusted slightly, pressing his cheek against the top of her head and making a small sound akin to a whimper before his breathing evened out again. 

She let out the shaky breath she had been holding and turned her head ever so slightly to press a soft kiss to his throat, where she could feel the warmth of his pulse.

“I hope we stay partners for a really long time.”

[kivaember]

Layers: Aza Lynel

LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE

Name: “Aza. Just Aza.”

Eye Color: "Yellow!”

Hair Style/Color: “Uh, it’s sandy-blond? Or, pale brown? And I just tie it back. It gets frizzy and curly if I don’t.”

Height: “....” /mutters under breath: “Five fulms...”

Clothing Style: “Armour. I need at least a layer of steel and leather on me at all times - unless I’m asleep or bathing, I guess.”

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE

Your Fears: “... I’m not really comfortable saying those... what, just one? I guess, uh, I can say one. So, I’m kind of scared of... dogs. Yeah, hilarious, the cat is afraid of dogs. Laugh and I’ll stab you.”

Your Guilty Pleasure: "Is there such thing as guilty pleasure? Well, hmm, I guess... well, I dunno. Wait - this isn’t exclusively about sex? Oh, so, hm, I-I suppose I like... um, love... poetry... don’t tell anyone that though!”

Your Biggest Pet Peeve: "People who won’t get out of my way. It just wastes everyone’s time, y’know? We all know they’ll just die within minutes, so, what did you even achieve, corpse #120? Fuck all. I now have blood on my boots and need to clean them later. Thanks. Also, what about low level bandits who look at me and think, ‘yes, I will attack the Warrior of Light with my shitty knife, this will definitely end well’? Did you mother drop you on your head as a child you dumb fuck-” /continues to rant for twenty minutes about people who dare inconvenience him with unsatisfying easy and dull fights

Your Ambition for the Future: "Um. Well, I guess my ambition is to live and, uh, sort of, mmm, well...” /mumbles quietly “Marry Aymeric and go on adventures together...”

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS

Your First Thoughts Waking Up: "I feel old.’”

What You Think About the Most: "Aymeric.” 

What You Think About Before Bed: “I guess it depends on the day? Sometimes I think about what I’m going to do tomorrow, or who, haha- okay, yeah, that was bad. I’m sorry.”

Your Best Quality Is: "My ability to kill whatever crosses my path. Oh, is that too fucked up? Um, Aymeric likes my face, so maybe that’s my best quality? Or my tail? Oh, that. My tail. I love how silky and soft it feels.”

LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER?

Single or Group Dates: “Single. It’s kinda awkward to do double, right? What if you want to fu- uh. Hm. Nevermind.”

To be Loved or Respected: "You.. need both to do either, don’t you?”

Beauty or Brains: "Both. I’m a shallow man. I need both.”

Dogs or Cats: "Cats.”

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?

Lie: "All the time. Wait, that sounds bad... I mean about my emotional state. Wait...”

Believe in Yourself: "I believe I can survive anything like a cockroach. I’ve been doing it pretty well so far.”

Believe in Love: "Fuck. Yes. Love is everything. Anyone says only weaklings believe in love, they can meet me at Wolf’s Pier in the next twenty minutes.”

Want Someone: "Ha... um...”

LAYER SIX: EVER?

Been on Stage: "... um. The FC has... stage nights. W-With the... pole doing...” /incoherent mumbling

Done Drugs: “Soooo many. My blood is probably toxic- not that I do that anymore! Hahaha, no, not at all... ah...”

Changed Who You Were to Fit In: “I did... I guess I changed a little when I went with the Scions. I was... very different, before Eorzea. It was good I changed, but, before Ishgard, I didn’t much like who I changed into either, and I wasn’t happy. Trying to be a perfect Warrior of Light, that person doesn’t exist. Who I am now... it’s a lot different, and it wasn’t a conscious change but... I think I’m happy like this. I fit in well enough with the people who matter because of it.”

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES

Favorite Color: "Blue.”

Favorite Animal: “Chocobos. They’re the purest creature on this horrible, dark star and if anyone so much as fucking hurts one or abuses I will come for them in the night. I will fucking destroy you. Chocobos are fucking angels and we don’t deserve them.”

Favorite Food: “Meat.” /a pause, then a sigh “I can practically hear the dirty joke Bluebird would make about that...”

Favorite Game: “Predator. It’s a popular game for kids back in the Steppes. The game is someone is the predator, and everyone else is the prey. I think - it’s like a mix of hide and seek and tag in Eorzea, except little stabs are allowed. Non-fatal ones. Pain encourages rapid improvements in speed and hiding skills, ha!”

LAYER EIGHT: AGE

Day Your Next Birthday Will Be: “Fairly soon... or has it already been? Huh, not sure. I never pay attention to it, honestly...”

How Old Will You Be: “... you shouldn’t ask a guy his age.” 

Age You Lost Your Virginity: “... don’t. Ask those questions.”

Does Age Matter: “Yes. Yes, fuck yes. Adults only for this kind of thing. Consensual adults!”

LAYER NINE: IN A BOY OR GIRL

Best Personality: “Hmm, I like... someone who’s is certain in who they are and what they want. But they have to be kind and patient, and ambitious. They need to keep up with me, and not be overly clingy or jealous, and-” /pretty much describes Aymeric

Best Eye Color: “Blue, definitely.”

Best Hair Color: “Black, with thick hair to curl my fingers into when we’re- uuuh, yes, that.”

Best Thing to Do With a Partner: “Bed.”

LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE

I love: “My family, my friends, Aymeric, Bluebird occasionally, I guess.”

I feel: “okay? Sleepy. Oh, yeah, that. Sleepy.”

I hide: “my... uh... okay, I’ll come clean. I’ve needed to fart since we started this talk, so, can I just...?”

I miss: “Mom. Um, I mean! I miss- shut up.”

I wish: “That this war with the Garleans or Ascians or whoever decides to crawl out of the ground like some kind of mole from hell, doesn’t kill anymore people and we all grow old and happy together. I want a happy ending. That’s all I’ve ever wanted... and I’ll kill anyone who threatens that.”

Tagged by @lumei-xiv (I finally got round to this... thank you! I enjoyed it!) 

[drink-n-watch]

  Genre : Supernatural thriller, suspense, action, drama

Movie: 50 minutes

Studio: Ufotable

  This is a story of a lonely girl and a determined doll. It is not a very happy story but sometimes stories just go that way. It is a story about how pain and yearning can make monsters out if us before we can notice it at all. How simple wishes can curse those around you. It’s also a story about finding a way to fill the emptiness within us all. Sometimes you succeed for a little while a soar, sometimes you fail and do your best not to drown. At times this is a sad story but there’s also hope hiding in the shadows. What you get out of this story, will depend on you.

Sometimes, it can be difficult to describe a 50 minute movie without giving too much away. The problem here is slightly different. The Garden of Sinners: Thanatos plays out mostly in subtext so a plain description of events won’t give you much of an idea. I tried my best though.

well I tried…

First let’s get the logistics out of the way. You can watch Garden of Sinners on Crunchyroll, where it is presented as a 10 episode series. They are in fact 10 movies of varying lengths which is why I included the runtime in this review. So far I have only watched Thanatos (the first movie made) so I can’t tell you how closely related they are and if they are better watched all in a row. Binge watching 10 movies (some over 2h) is a bit much for me. I’ll get into it more later but the atmosphere and narrative style of this first movie also doesn’t seem suited for rapid successive consumption. I’m working on my vocabulary. Please let me know if I’m using words wrong as I’m going about it pretty randomly.

Visually Thanatos is interesting although a bit unpolished. It uses this technique that makes the edges look like very wet ink wash. I’m not sure how to explain it and unfortunately it doesn’t show much in the stills. It’s a bit as id the lines waver.

just take my word for it…

The action comes in bursts, and everything is quite still the rest of the time. Shiki’s (the main character) small movements, like walking or sitting down, look jittery but I’m sure it’s a choice.  On the other hand, action scenes are fluid and we’ll choreographed. Voice acting is wide ranging and varies from character to character with some pretty intense delivery choices but it fits with the writing…

Are you bored yet by this plain list of technical features? It’s quite dull isn’t it? There’s a reason for that. I’m trying to bury the lead here. I’ve always been quite bad at not immediately blurting out everything that’s on my mind.

I usually discuss the non narrative aspects of anime separately as a way of structuring my reviews. But here, it’s completely impractical. By far the most impressive element of The Garden of Sinners is the masterfully integrated visual storytelling. Maybe I’m reading too much into is, but from what I could overanalyze, every design, visual, animation and even sound choice made in the movie, contributed to the narrative.

don’t get me started on the light and shadows!

The story itself is a rather straightforward thriller with some supernatural elements. A string of sudden suicides rocks a small community and we catch up with a woman named Shiki that seems to want to stop the deaths. She believes there is something unearthly going on and she herself is more than meets the eye.

It’s presented in a very purposefully mysterious way. For instance, characters aren’t introduced. We don’t even know their names until we’ve seen them a few times. Their backgrounds and relationships to one another are never really established and you’re left to infer everything from conversations. It can be a touch destabilizing, but it was done well enough for me to follow along the course of events even though it left a lot open to interpretation.

Because of this, the characters could be considered underdeveloped. However, they are written in a way where the lack of information seems deliberate rather than bad writing. The same can be said for most of the events. There’s an ambiguity and a lack of context. At times I was reminded of Serial Experiments Lain, although The Garden of Sinners obviously doesn’t have the time to delve in too deep in its own mythology. Future movies may solve that.  

what’s with the eyes? I dunno…

It won’t be for everyone. The wrap up can feel unsatisfying since it really didn’t teach us all that much. If you’re not a fan of vague narratives, you may find this movie annoying. On top of that, the actual plot is not that special, for the little we know about it. I would describe it as Suicide Circle condensed in a single hour and devoid of both it’s extravagance and wry humour.

But visual integration in the storytelling made it all worth while for me. Let me give you an example. The story tackles deep themes of existential questioning, emptiness and suicide. The idea that a person just sort of floats along life until they find themselves confronted to circumstances where they must choose to either fly or fall. Those moments that make you confront your very sense of being. The plot is simply an allegory of the idea. Both the protagonist and antagonist spend the movie facing this question in their own way.

Beyond that though, everything else reinforces the structure of long dead stillness punctuated by explosion of violent existence. Like I touched on above, movement is extremely subdued for the most part, except in those pivotal scenes where it becomes frantic. Characters are often silent and a lot of scenes have no dialogue but the few conversations that happen are tense and deeply meaningful.

it must be such a pain finding the right remote

Visually, there are repeated cluster motifs. And empty sky with a flock of birds. A bare wall with half a dozen clocks arranged together. A cluttered room where the feature is a wall filled with tv sets for no obvious reason. Shiki’s apartment is almost completely bare, her fridge empty, but she visits Touko in a cluttered, almost hoarder like office. Streets are either almost completely empty or heavily crowded. It’s a repeated all or nothing notion that goes hand in hand with the larger themes.

Another, more immediate element is the outlines. For the most part, they’re those thick and wavy watered-down lines. It makes everything seem slightly unsubstantial and ill-defined. Once again, there’s this element of unbearable lightness. Like nothing is really quite there, like it could just flitter away at any moment. But whenever the action or tension ramps up, those lines sharpen into fine well-defined clear edges. Everything comes into sudden focus. It subconsciously grabs your attentions and tells you this is an important moment. It also has the practical side effect of making action a lot clearer and easier to follow.

something’s about to happen

The color palette is subtly but completely redefined just about every other scene and more direct color cues are thrown in. Shiki wears the same blue kimono every day, but she puts on a red jacket over it once she decides to settle the score.

No one has pupils. This isn’t mentioned at all and could be dismissed as a quirky design choice to make things more *dark*. But I believe it’s an illustration of the general idea that people are empty shells and it takes personal strength and courage to find something to fill them with. That one is responsible for creating their own soul, lest they find their sense of self float away.

For me, this movie shined through its insistence of using every possible tool of the anime medium to add to its narrative, even though the narrative itself was not that stellar. And for this alone, I am more than happy to see what the other movies have to offer. It won’t be for everyone, but if it’s for you, it has a unique appeal.

if you do, could you tell us?

Favorite character: Touko

What this anime taught me: Thanatos is a minor figure in Greek mythology and a personification of death. I guess Shinigami… However, I think the title refers to Freud’s theory that humans have a “death drive”. Basically, an odd instinct towards risk and self-destruction that fights with our survival instincts. He called this drive Thanatos.

If you walk a mile in my shoes, you’ll end up in a bar

Suggested drink: Floating Goddess

Every time we get a close up of anyone’s eyes – take a sip

Every time the color palette switches – take a sip

Every time we see a body – shiver

Every time we see a ghost – liquid courage

Every time Tuko smokes – take a deep breath

Every time we see a doll or doll parts – take a sip

Every time anyone says “flying” – take a sip

Every time we see the news – pay attention

Every time anyone says “suicide” – take a sip

Every time we see Shiki’s apartment – get some ice cream

the little sketch at the beginning was funny!

I’m disappointed by how much is lost in the screen caps. The actual anime is more impressive.

    The Garden of Sinners: Thanatos -The First Bloom   Genre : Supernatural thriller, suspense, action, drama Movie: 50 minutes Studio: Ufotable   This is a story of a lonely girl and a determined doll.