#I dunno it looks weird to me ahah

[magicalmalewife]

Pim’s First Date :3

(Sorry for the super silly gif, I swear this isn’t ironic. I want this little man)

“Okay, okay,” he muttered to himself, shifting from foot to foot. “It’s just a date. It’s just... a date. Like... a normal, casual date. I’ve done... uh, normal things before. This’ll be normal. Yup. Just don’t mess this up, Pim. Don’t do anything weird. Don’t, like, get nervous. Just be cool.”

The problem was, Pim had realized long ago never been exactly normal. He was, however, a master at making awkward situations even more awkward with his out of the ordinary giddiness. And now, as he waited for you—his date—he was hyper-aware of every tiny detail. The breeze ruffling his exposed nerve ending, the odd way the pavement cracked beneath his black loafers…

Finally, you arrived, looking effortlessly casual and stylish. You had that smile that made Pim’s stomach do an involuntary somersault, and your presence seemed to make the entire world around him feel like it was under a magnifying glass.

“Hey, Pim!” You waved cheerfully, walking over with a casual, yet purposeful stride that had Pim blushing instantly.

“Y-You’re here! You—wow. You look... uh, you look great,” Pim stammered, his voice an awkward pitch that only added to the mess of emotions swarming around in his head.

You smiled again, and Pim’s face flushed even harder. He didn’t know why you always made him feel like this, but it was somehow comforting and adorably hilarious at the same time.

“Thanks! You look great too,” you said, the light tone of your voice making his insides tingle. “Are you ready to go in?”

“Y-Yeah, ready! Uh... let’s go,” he blurted out, gesturing towards the café door a little too enthusiastically. He quickly pushed it open, only to end up holding it too long and nearly smacking himself in the face with it.

You laughed, and Pim’s face turned redder, his hands fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie. “So, uh... I’ve never really done... this before,” he admitted sheepishly once you both sat down at a table. “Like, I’ve been on dates, but I’ve never really done them right, you know? I mean, I just do my thing and hope it works out, but—"

“Oh, I’m sure you’re doing fine,” you interrupted, giving him a reassuring smile. “I’m not picky, so you don’t have to worry about anything. Just be yourself.”

The words hit Pim like a ton of bricks. Just be yourself. That’s it. That’s all he needed to do. Damnit- Why was he complicating everything? His hands immediately started to tremble as he realized that being himself could mean just straight up embarrassing himself, which was definitely a possibility, but maybe that was just part of the charm.

“So... ahah- What do you usually get here?” he asked, trying to focus on something other than how much he was sweating in his shirt.

You leaned forward on the table, propping your chin in your hand with a thoughtful expression. “I like the iced coffee here, but I also really love their pastries. The chocolate croissants are pretty killer.”

Pim’s eyes widened. “Chocolate croissants?” He laughed nervously. “W-wow, I should... uh, get one of those. I mean, not that I’m copying you or anything, I just... um, they sound good. You know?”

You chuckled, making Pim's ears burn. "It's fine, you can copy me, ya copycat.”

Pim nodded so vigorously it almost looked like he was giving himself whiplash. “Right! Okay! I’ll do that. Um, what else do you like to do? For fun, I mean?”

The question hung in the air for a second as you seemed to think it over. “I dunno,” you shrugged. “I like hanging out with friends, going to weird events, trying new things... Sometimes I even just like to stay in and do nothing. What about you?”

Pim froze. "I... uh... do nothing. I mean... I... like doing stuff! But sometimes I just do nothing too, you know? It’s not... boring! It’s just... a vibe? Haha.” His nervous laugh was more like a squeak, and his face was doing that thing again where it felt like it was on fire.

You tilted your head and smiled kindly, obviously amused by his bumbling. “That’s totally fine, Pim. I think doing nothing can be nice, as long as you’re with the right company.”

Pim’s heart skipped a beat, and his hands felt like they were shaking even more than before. Right company. That was you, wasn’t it? You were the right company. You made him feel like maybe, just maybe, he didn’t have to try so hard to be normal. Maybe being himself—awkward, flustered, and all—was enough.

Just then, the waiter came over to take their order, and Pim nearly stammered his way through it, his face turning an even deeper shade of red as he ordered the chocolate croissant and a coffee, the words tumbling out in an unrecognizable mess.

You chuckled softly when the waiter left, looking at him with that same relaxed expression. “You know, I’m really glad we did this. I’m having fun. Even though... you seem a little nervous, but I think that’s cute.”

Pim’s eyes went wide as his heart skipped a beat. “W-What? I’m not—uh, am I? I mean, no, I’m not nervous. Why would I be? I’m totally fine.” He gave a thumbs-up that looked suspiciously like he was trying to convince himself as much as you.

You laughed softly, shaking your head. “It’s okay, Pim. I’m not judging you. I think it’s kind of endearing.”

That’s it. Pim’s face was on fire now. He was pretty sure if he could die from blushing, this was that moment. “Oh... um... thanks,” he mumbled, his voice so small that it barely reached the table.

But then, you did something that made Pim freeze entirely. You leaned forward, resting your arms casually on the table, and met his eyes with that warm, playful look of yours.

“Well, maybe next time,” you said teasingly, “we can do something you like, too, goof.”

He looked like a wet cat that had just been let inside from the rain, looking like he could shriek with happiness any second.

“Yeah. Uh, next time...” he whispered, his face completely red, but his smile, somehow, was the most confident thing he’d done all night.

<3

[tonycries]

Hiiiii tony soooo I may or may not be the anon that said Gojo is ugly but... I'm still gonna say sorry (even tho I'm right) alsooo when I said Yuta I kindaaaaaaas meant Yuji idk what it is I just don't like how he looks but I like how Sukuna looks... It's so weird I dunno but anyyyyyyyyywayyyyys hopefully you don't try to break into my home while I'm asleep anymore ❤❤❤ love u tonyyy bye byee

Also may I be 🥗 anon????

*SOBS* my own babygirl has betrayed me this way...what do you mean you find my husband ugly *rips off shirt in distress*

Ahah jkjk but if you'd gone n' said you found Naoya attractive instead THEN I'd have to pull out the hollow purple, my apologies 😞

And awwwww Yuji is my bb but they do change his literal ENTIRE face whenever he transforms into Sukuna, I can NAWTT wait for true form Sukuna to finally be animated in that sense 😩😩 But AHAHA NIGHTY NIGHT I WON'T TRY TO BREAK IN.......😈

[allwormdiet]

Tangle 6.7

Definitely a clean getaway, right, no lingering issues here so

Rooftop running is always so cool, and always so impractical when you spend any amount of time thinking about it. Very funny that Taylor's come down on the side of "this was not worth it" lmao

Alec just keeps trying to make "dork" stick and Taylor is vehemently refusing. God I hope these two work past that somehow, it's funny to watch but it's a little sad

Tattletale like "aha, you see, while it looks like I got massively owned, I'm super fine. Also can someone please help me get up and walk"

I wonder if Armsmaster was waiting for that dramatic moment to step back into the scene

God it's gotta fucking hurt having your face that fucked up. Good on Taylor for continuing to hold back from full lethality, at least, but I imagine that's not much comfort at this point.

And then. Man. Dauntless has a fucking busted power from the sound of it, that's ludicrous. Fuck do you even have to get rolled by in order to get a power like that?

Also first mention of the lower-case t triumvirate and Eidolon in specific, second(?) mention of Legend, and third mention of Alexandria. We know a bit about Alexandria's and Legend's abilities going off of prior conversations, but I dunno shit about Eidolon. Weird name choice, too, the ancient Greek word for a phantasmal double or copy; does he duplicate stuff?

Taylor Hebert: not super into parahumans, ends up a parahuman

She's going to get increasingly paranoid about keeping bugs around for situations like this, I can feel it in my goddamn bones

Oh boy, rock and a fucking hard place, huh.

Also how lethal is that Arclance? Asking for a friend

God that's fucking funny. Tattletale defeated by the power of not hearing a word she says.

Okay I'm just gonna say it: the Undersiders would be toast multiple times over if it wasn't for Regent. The Bakuda fight, the gallery, right here and now, the kid is pulling serious weight

Also oh my fucking god Grue just Goomba stomping Dauntless's head as they run, Grue you are exactly as crazy as the rest of this team please don't hide that side of yourself

Fuck that's cool, no notes really

And here comes a cavalry that I straight up did not anticipate

Who that fuck is this

Oh hey, Circus. Clown gimmick. Yeah I guess clown supers don't have as much baggage for people in this world, huh

Okay so that is very cool but also what the fuck, how do you do multiple little powers with nothing to do with each other

And also yeah, what's a solo act doing with another team, protecting this team, there's a lot of "what the fuck"s on display in this chapter

Ahah. Trainwreck. I think his name had come up before.

Sigh. Here comes Coil.

I guess it makes sense that the guy whose entire thing is hiring mercenaries would also get parahumans signed on as mercenaries

Man I fucking hate this guy's vibes

Current Thoughts

Boy the Undersiders were almost cooked there, huh

Got basically no read on Dauntless this chapter except I guess that he's The Fucking Strong. Put up a better fight against the Undersiders compared to his peers, had less room for personality to be derived from the fight.

Armsmaster is gonna be fucking sore about this one for a long time, and I don't just mean the beating he took

*sigh* I guess let's fucking deal with Coil now

[masked-and-doomed]

NO! No, lambs. You are not going to make me feel like I've never known you. That would be very mean of you guys. They simply have a different interpretation, that is bound to happen, considering how little information we have on you as characters. I simply have my own views on them, they simply have theirs. We are not going to have a crisis over this. Clear?

Baldias I don't know when I'll finish writing your chapter. I think the progress I've made in the past week needs to be dumped in the rubbish bin. Yes I was gonna say trash but opted for the British option. Rubbish just sound funnier.

I think I'm losing it in this void, lambs. Darlings? Yes, you are darlings, as you are part of my family, but I suppose it just doesn't feel as nice on the tongue when it's in regards to you lambs.

I don't know when I'll finish killing you Baldias, I think this might take a whole year. Do I have a whole year? Fuck, I probably don't. Shit.

Well, at least you guys are important and whatever. You're at the tippy top, your guys' opinions matter most, and you don't have anyone above you to worry about disappointing. A whole load of responsibility but at least you don't have to worry about muddy feelings regarding that your downfall is a mix of your own inadequacies and stuff out of your control, rather than being strictly one or the other.

Oh right. I forgot. You're still just people. Haha. Yeah 2187 suckkedd. 3 of you died there. And you, leader, became a lost little lamb. You didn't. You don't? know what to do with your life. Present tense feels weird here. Time and space and all, fucky wucky in the void, it is. Hah.

Hm. Is there any truly saving me?

I know I know, I saved like, most of you guys. And you guys were war criminals. And I helped you become better. Or at least, will. She. I? She. Let's go with She. She hasn't wrote that part yet, but it's the intended future.

Ahah. What a big dreamer She was, and She'll have a bit to show for it. Not as much as She'd like, but enough to give an idea what was the dream She had, huh?

Why have you guys let me talk this long?

“I'm sure you're quite aware with that answer yourself.”

True. Fuckk. This sucks. Do you think sleeping will do anything? I did have more important stuff to do that I wasted time all on. Looking at your alternate selves. Ahah.

“I'd reccomend you'd do at least some of it. You remember all that you've taught us, haven't you? Better half-ass it than nothing.”

God, but I hate doing it. How did you fuckers get through all of that fuckin' paperwork.

“You just have to get it done. Useless whining about it.”

“Damn hated it. And I was the one who had mostly practical shit! I was this close to burning it all.”

“It's a necessary evil to go through. It's mostly tedious rather than difficult. Your situation is quite different.”

I fucking hate thinking. This is why I should've just been made a living weapon for you guys.

“You are, aren't you! I'd much rather have one that's less bitchy. Testament would've been more tolerable.”

Well, if you got Testament, none of you guys would learn to properly love eachother. You require my stupid ass and whimsy.

“...You should kill yourself soon.”

“Baldias!”

“It's not as if you're in a favourable situation. I must admit I can't exactly advise you much here. I can only hope that your fate isn't as grim as ours.”

I need to die, Chronus. I dunno what else there is for me. Nagito would hate me rn. I am sooo faltering at the sight of my future sucking ass. I can't even follow your guys' example!

“We had the whole world at stake. Powerful motivator.”

“I just hope you can keep your chin up as long as you can, dear.”

You're unreasonably nice, Libraria. For what I am.

“...”

When is this ending?

“You're the one that's God here, dumbass.”

“Baldias.”

“And? She literally fucking asked for it!”

“I second Baldias. She wants to hurt. Hurt, Baldias and I have given her in our years.”

“It doesn't mean it's ethical. Nor legal. One can't sign a contract agreeing to be harmed.”

You're pulling law into this? Don't you have better arguments? You're like. Literally controlling the UN.

“Firefly... You're the one writing us."

Right. Sorry you don't have a better argument.

“It's fine. You're letting this all out for some sense of relief right? Is this helping?”

Partially. It still feels like I'm grasping at a puddle that's reflecting you guys, being fooled by the illusion of reflective light. And I don't have the object in my hands.

Hrm. I'd say more here, but I'm worried there will be someone to watch this. Us.

“To have so many of your layers peeled for everyone to see, yet to still keep such a mask. You are quite the esoteric person.”

Compliment.. nice..

“I'm tired of this. Can you shut it, now?”

Ermmm you know what they say. Majority vote.

“Yeah, shut up already! I didn't want to be in your void at all today.”

So two in favour. Chronus, Libraria?

“With all your masks, I am quite curious on what more you could reveal.”

“I like hearing you talk. You're lovely to listen to, dear.”

Fucking tie. Fuck, man.

Should I bring in-?

“No.”

Wow. Not even darling doctor?

“You do remember him taking the news poorly, don't you? You're not losing memory this young, right?”

Shut upp. I just don't think good. Head so empty. Yet so full. Dammit.

Heh. Just like-

“Don't you fucking say his name.”

“Doll, do not speak of him.”

“I'm going to actually strangle you if you finish that sentence.”

“Dear. Do not complete that thought.”

I thought you guys were chill now,,

“Well, She hasn't written out what happens post White H-”

“Name.”

“Damn it.”

“Hrm. It was called Strive, was it not? The game that that incident was held in.”

Post strive?

“Hrmph. Fine enough. Back to my point, She hasn't written that yet.”

Right. Sorry about that. She'll get to it soon, I promise.

“And what's with all those Google Docs I see behind your back, vermin?”

Ermmm. Faut..... To help me cope...

“A chink in your plan, those past few hours were, right? It seems every fortunate thing comes with it's own misfortune for you. Poetic, I suppose.”

“And you wanted poetry, that's what all this has been about!”

I think Monika pities me and my poem skills.

“We keep getting off topic.”

“Can't do much. Since she's doing it all.”

Sorry. Sorry.

“How many times will you say it? When will you forgive yourself for once?”

You fucking know I'm not Faut, Chronus. I'm not you guys either. I'm not. I hate effort.

“What about your art, your writing?”

They're things I like doing. But I damn hate putting effort in things I don't like. I mean! You've seen what happened a week or two ago!

...

Ah... I'm tired..

“You're lazy. We know.”

“Perhaps it's time for your rest. After dinner, of course.”

“Heheh, rest. Yeah right. She doesn't feel any rest, does she?”

“Please take care of yourself, firefly.”

I love you.

“Hey! We're meant to say it first! Way to ruin things like you always do, cunt!”

Ahah. Thank you.

“Sentimental. Never thought I'd be here. But you keep doing your fuckery, and I'm pulled along for the ride.”

I'll make sure others love you guys.

“You should focus on loving yourself, dear.”

I don't have much.

“Still, try to push on, won't you?”

Maybe I'll have a last laugh.

Maybe I'll just be forgotten.

[bonesandpoemsandflowers]

in other ADHD news, doctor horse girl was recently officially diagnosed as having ADHD and got medicated for it. very helpful timing, medical establishment! AFTER grad school! but whatever.

anyway, so I was like jokingly like, welcome to the club! and then she told me what specific meds she was on, and it is the EXACT SAME one my beloved and I take. so obviously I was like

✨ WELCOME TO THE CLUB! ✨ 

even harder.

im making friendship bracelets about it

so 3 out of 4 people in the friend group have almost the exact same diagnosis [different subtype diagnosis for everyone! for peak comedy, the smallest most girlish person is of course the one diagnosed with the stereotypically male subtype: me, primarily hyperactive]. AND are on the exact same medication at varying doses.

this explains a lot about how we can all relate to each other and communicate in that highly specific data compression ADHD way. it explains a lot.

it also means that in order to function, the ecosystem naturally acquired someone who can drive places even when not perfectly super perfectly medicated. We have our token One Normal Guy, with the super power to effectively navigate a grocery store instead of going in loopy loops for three times as long to get half the items on the list.

he is, of course, actually weird as shit in ways science has no words to describe. but his brain functions way more normal, which means that we end up in scenarios like

far in advance, everyone vaguely agrees we're gonna meet up for a weekend and we pick a month and place. everyone but One Normal Guy promptly forgets about this. One Normal Guy buys plane tickets and forwards everyone his itinerary. everyone else is like wow, so soon? and we promptly forget about it again. in a few months he sends everyone an e-mail confirming we're still on and letting us know he booked the air bnb we discussed (at least two out of three people: what air bnb???) and here's how we're splitting costs. this will prompt one more party into buying plane tickets. middle booking party will ask remaining party about their plans only in an attempt to avoid figuring out logistics out of the airport on their own. remaining party will go "oh shit, I dunno." eventually everyone buys plane tickets. no one else forwards their itinerary, ever. One Normal Guy compiles a google document of Potential Activities. my beloved responds promptly because this is his bestie. doctor horse girl may or may not open the document for months but she will eventually open the document, probably.

A month out from the event I get an e-mail like: ahah, so, just checking in, what's your favorite thing in the document? [translation: have you opened the document? I can See you have not opened the document. will you please open the fucking document].

and so, it is time for me to look at the document. I will send a polite e-mail about the document. mostly I am hoping that being gushingly grateful in person will make up for being forced into the role of cruise director.

this has been going on for years.

if, during the course of a trip, we need to go to a grocery store or a pharmacy for supplies, we send in our One Normal Guy. One Normal Guy has tried to take various combinations of us with him, but my beloved and I end up talking together in a nook somewhere and lost. doctor horse girl and I end up chatting and shopping and lost. Our One Normal Guy then loses valuable time to corralling the lost and wandering sheep. Amount of times I have eventually wandered near a check out line and seen him on the other side going "???????": incalculable. Our One Normal Guy can take my beloved with him, but only if my beloved is not steering and is discouraged from talking (my beloved has like, a five foot aura of fascinate person and even Our One Normal Guy is not immune). so the point is, if anybody actually NEEDS anything, you have to send in Our One Normal Guy.

intriguingly, there are scenarios where sending in Normal Guy is suboptimal, but that's a topic for another day. right now i gotta open this google document.

[eristic-kaleidoscope]

The Muddled Palms of Our Hands || Byrne || Trial 4-5 || RE: Jae-min, Kenshin, KOKONE

In truth, Byrne hadn't planned on saying a thing from here on. Defending one felt like condemning the others, and none of the options were ones he wanted to reckon with. There were times he figured he needed to just... stand down, and spend the rest of his time preparing to mourn. To lose another. And that stung. There'd yet to be a single case where he'd been let off woundless, and it seemed that trend would more or less continue, wouldn't it?

He... really hadn't planned on saying a thing. He really hadn't.

Byrne winced as his name was invoked.

"My guy, first you say that no defense I can give is worth anything because of my bias, and then you ask me to fucking throw my boyfriend under the bus two fuckin' sentences later? Do you not even have an OUNCE of sympathy for any of the four of us right now? Give me a fucking break! Besides, don't YOU live in a house? Doesn't EVERYONE here live in a house? It's not fucking weird for anyone here to have a key!"

He wheezed, clearly struggling. He wasn't NEARLY as enraged as he'd been only a day before, but that didn't mean he couldn't get upset. Not when he felt like he was being put into an INCREDIBLY unfair position on all sides, and... And it wasn't even like... Ugh. He pressed a hand to his forehead and reached into his pocket, pulling out a keyring only to stop partway, as Kenshin spoke in his stead. Byrne's own keys slid back into his pocket as he swallowed, listening to the lament.

Byrne lowered his voice.

"I already know nobody's gonna trust it so thanks for point that out but... Kenshin never wakes up earlier than 8 pretty much ever. Most of the time is more like 10 or 11, even, and... That didn't change during the motive. And before you can say he did prep last night, he was too busy taking care of my wasted ass having a mental breakdown and dragging me back to the room when  I was trying to get drunk enough to pass out outside and evade the 'sleep in your own dorm' rule. He had his hands full."

... He sighed. He hadn't had the chance to have a proper conversation with his memories returned to him yet. That was just another little box to add to the to-do list. It felt like it kept growing, with increasingly little time to actually tick the boxes.

... The problem was he didn't exactly have a logically sound argument to protect END or KOKONE here other than another 'They would never.' Which as established, was flimsy as hell. He let out a shaken breath, flashing both an apologetic look. But he would never accuse them, either. This was the best he could manage in his upset.

Listening to KOKONE, however, it was almost like a verbal gut punch of a different variety. Was... Byrne making them feel that way? ... Had he not... expressed enough appreciation? Was his insistence on calling them KOKONE a problem, actually? He stared at the ground.

"... I never disliked you. If I did, I wouldn't've... Spent as long talking to you as I did yesterday, and... Just because you were different didn't make you any less of a friend to me, y'know? Having gotten to know the both of you a little bit, I think I can... solidly say I like both. But... ahah... That's... That doesn't sound like you, y'know? ... Dunno if you remember it? How we talked about... How we'd both fuckin' live, for the sake of other people if not for ourselves? Back in the petting zoo? ... You'd said you wouldn't murder anybody ever back then, and I still wanna believe that."

He swallowed. Oh how he desperate he was to want to believe neither of them to have done a thing.

[justkeepdancing-nemo]

Failing Nemo || Romo Texts

Summary: On the last week of the term, the stress from uni becomes too much for Nemo.

Part One of Finding Nemo: Uni Arc

tw: anxiety, depression

DECEMBER 13

Nemo Bae

hey heeeeeey hi what r u doing rn are u studying? [deleted] pay attention to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee [deleted] im losing my mind haha

Robbie

Hey Yeah, I'm studying for my anatomy final which is kind of boring but I swear they added more parts to the human body since I last learned this Nemo Bae

ahahh there are like a tonne of bones thats so weird tho ur a vet student shouldnt u learn about animal parts

Robbie

I think that comes next when I get into more specialized stuff ugh so many bones though you're right how are you though

Nemo Bae

missing youuuu come hang out with me

Robbie

How is studying for finals going? Last time I came to see you we didn't study at all. I failed you

Nemo Bae

thats bc i dont wanna study lol its pointless but hanging out with uuuu isnt

Robbie

Studying isn't pointless Why do you think it's pointless

Nemo Bae

i just cant do it lol i try and i cant pay attention and my back always hurts too much to like sit in one place but if i lay down i fall asleep bc its so boring my grades suck anyway

Robbie

aw that's probably not true I'm sure your grades don't suck I could come over and help you for real this time I can quiz you and stuff

Nemo Bae

they do robbie im not smart like you. i cant write like you. my grades are really bad and ive gotten incompletes in my fellows class because i havent even turned in stuff

Robbie

Hey you're smart don't say that

Nemo Bae

but its true im not smart okay im not cut out for this i dunno i feel like it was just a mistake and im gonna fail anyway so

Robbie

like going to school was a mistake? Nemo you're smart and you can do it. I know you can. You just have to keep trying. it sounds like you're giving up

Nemo Bae

yeah i am ahah ive TRIED ok i keep trying to study for my finals and i cant do it  i tried all semester but all i did was hurt myself so i couldnt even dance i have to write final papers in my ballet and contemporary classes now thats two more papers im just gonna go back to the hollow

Robbie

Nemo I can help okay it's not the end of the world and it's going to be fine

Nemo Bae

no its not you dont get it because tis easy for you

Robbie

it's not easy I still have to study like everyone else That's just how school is And if it looks easy it's because I had a lot of years to learn a lot of things But those were years where I had to try and study hard and put in the effort it doesn't just happen for me

Nemo Bae

well i shouldnt distract you from studying then

Robbie

Nemo

Nemo Bae

what? thats what you're saying you say you gotta study and all im doing is getting in your way you dont have time to help me anyway esp when it doesnt matter and its too late Robbie

We can talk about it more don't just pull away. That's not what I'm saying it's not too late we can work on it together

Nemo Bae

and then when i fail anyway????

Robbie

then you pick yourself up and try again You can replace those grades if you really think you're going to fail You can retake the class

Nemo Bae

i dont want to. i DONT. its too much and too stressful theres a reason not a lot of fairies go to uni esp not from a hollow im so tired of sucking this much

Robbie

You don't suck

Nemo Bae

how would u even know how much i suck robbie youre not in my classes do u want me to send u pics of all my shitty papers lol then youll realize im a lost cause

Robbie

I will never think you are a lost cause

Nemo Bae

i dont even see why we're arguing about this its not even your business

Robbie

Oh its not? im not supposed to care?

Nemo Bae

i just dont see why you do this much

Robbie

You don't see why I care about you and your life this much

Nemo Bae

i dont see why you care about whether or not i go to school if you cared about me then youd say ok nemo i love you but apparently i have to be a freaking genius for you too

Robbie

Because you wanted to go to school? Because you want to take all those dance classes?

Nemo Bae

but i was wrong okay? and it sucks and i spent my appa's money and he's gonna be disappointed in me and clearly you're disappointed in me

Robbie

im not disappointed I just think you're being too hard on yourself

Nemo Bae

i feel like quitting is actually finally letting myself chill but ok

Robbie

im just afraid you'd regret it and I really don't think it's as much of a lost cause as you think it is But I can butt out I guess im sorry

Nemo Bae

its my fault its fine i'll let you get back to studying [deleted] this conversation felt really bad, im sorry i was.. i didnt mean to make it sound [deleted] maybe we can try it, you helping me deleted] im sorry, robbie

Robbie

Yeah, if you wanna talk later just text me

Nemo Bae

okay

DECEMBER 13, SEVERAL HOURS LATER 

Robbie

hey i just wanted to check and see how you are doing and say i'm sorry for upsetting you

Nemo Bae

 you really dont have to apologize. im the one. i know i lashed out at you and took a lot of my frustration and stress out on you and im really sorry about that. i shouldnt have said a lot of the things i said. i know youre just caring about me. im feeling a little better now though

Robbie

That's good! If you want me to come over I can. I want to see you

Nemo Bae

oh im actually uh i kinda left lol i'll be back in a couple of days though! i wanna see you then

Robbie

You left?

Nemo Bae

yeah i think i needed to get out and clear my head and i already feel a lot better

Robbie

Oh okay that makes sense. Did you go to the hollow

Nemo Bae

no im going camping with tae

Robbie

camping?

Nemo Bae

yeah there's this campsite we went to in the summer its got little cabins too tho we might just sleep in the car

Robbie

aren't your finals and stuff...are you gonna miss them?

Nemo Bae

probably? i told you though, im gonna fail anyway and seriously as soon as i decided to go it was like a huge weight off my shoulders i'll work on my papers maybe a little while im gone idk

Robbie

okay I love you be safe please

Nemo Bae

we will! i love you too robbie i really do wanna talk when i get back

Robbie

ill be here

[ladycibia]

the amount of times i've read your url as ladychibia is amazing lol

pffff, don’t worry, you’re not the only one (probably, ahah)

Well, you have to pronounce it as you would do with “chibi” anyway (it’s not “sibia”) c: it’s been my nickname since forever (before I even knew what a chibi was) and that’s how soft C is pronounced in Italy! Many people believe it’s connected to the fact that I’m into cute stuff, but it’s actually a corruption of my own first name because I was a stupid baby and I couldn’t say it correctly

[cloudsrust]

😳👉👈..its uh. lobotomy anon-and I have one (1) question.

How the heck can you do clean line art?? I've tried but the attempts don't look good

Mhhh- dunno how much I can help with that ‘cause, to be honest, my lineart is rarely actually clean sdhgsdsd. (most good lineart in my art is like an illusion caused by my editing/coloring ahah.) What I can say is that the pressure (especially for line width)  and the stabilizer change the art game A LOT- 

(Note: I gave the same care and the same time to each of them- also used the same sketch.) The stabilizer is especially a life saver if you want smooth/clean lineart but don’t have the firmest hand (Like me- who got it all the way up to S-7 on my SAI :,>). So don’t ignore it like I did for my first hellish year of drawing-tablet art;;; Those two aside- Personally, I tackle the lineart in three different ways (that sometimes overlay with each other). 1- Actual lineart: I just finish the sketch and after days of pondering over it I force myself to line it. With this one you just gotta be decise with your lines, this means no jagged lines trying to follow the sketch underneath or very slow hand motions, just one decise stroke. Undo and repeat until success-! Example -of me suffering and deciding to color instead of continuing the lineart sdhdhsd:

(*Sigh* Some sacrifices must be made to appease the lineart gods- so sometimes parts of the sketch will just be a guide of where the thing is supposed to be instead of a base to line;;)  2- Clean sketch: You keep on searching and cleaning the sketch, layers over layers, until it looks like a “messy lineart”. Then you carefully clean them lines! Example of what I mean by “messy lineart”:

(The only “sketch” worthy parts still visible are in the ribbon and in the arm- the rest is quite easy to clean. The masks and eyes, for example, are practically ready to be used in an actual “clean lineart”- just need to clean the particles). 3- Painted over: I haphazardly make the lineart and then I take my time painting over the mistakes or unclean lines- usually at the end of the piece.  Example: ( a bit messier than my usual, but still shows it)

(Some pieces look a bit weird ‘cause I had to remove the blood layer to show it better- but you can see what I mean if you look at the fingers and nails in the foreground, oh and also at the eye-!)

What these three “methods” have in common is a lot of trial to see what sticks and/or what is the most comfortable option ouo (there are days when I’m all about that pure lineart, while others I just want to chill and slowly clean or paint over a sketch.) There isn’t really a unique way in which you can do clean lineart- I mean, from what I see from your art.. maybe the “painting over” one might work for you! Because I can see that in many places there are clean lines (like the teeth in that first post- heck those are looking hella clean and precise!)- so I think you struggle more with the consistency of that precision more than the lineart itself, and since you also seem to have a painterly style for shading- I think that painting over the lines to clean them could do for you-! It also works with pieces with a simpler style btw.

These are just how I see it myself, can’t really say much else since I dunno what exactly makes you think your attempts don’t look good so-;;; hope this is in some way helpful or at least understandable? 

[missholoska]

Have you ever thought about making some Deltaswap designs? I personally am not a fan of the Kris and Susie swap or the Lancer and Ralsei Swap, but I didn't like Underswap Alphys either, but you managed to get me to like Alphys alot more with your design for her.

I’m so out of touch with Deltarune AUs I didn’t even know that Kris & Susie was the main swap, ahah :’D I know Deltaswap is A Thing That Exists™, but I’ve never once looked up any content of it. to be honest I’m not against Deltarune AUs at all, but personally it feels like if you tried to make Underswap just based entirely on the Undertale demo. like, imagine trying to make Underswap Toriel without knowing she was a queen, or lost over half a dozen children, or even about her friendship with Sans? you probably could make it work, but you’re lacking like 80% of the depth the characters have.

point is, despite how charming all of DR’s characters already are in a single chapter I feel like there’s gonna be so much more we find out about them in the full game, and any AU I tried to make with what we currently know would just feel kinda flat to me. just doing some designs wouldn’t be bad, but I like to make designs feel relevant to characterisation and personality, so uh. same issue

...but despite that this ask did get me thinking so just for fun, here’s a very undeveloped Deltaswap idea I’m not going to do anything with:

(and again, I know absolutely nothing about any versions of Deltaswap, so apologies if any of this has already been done, I genuinely do not know)

swapping Kris & Susie and Ralsei & Lancer does sound like it’d make sense as the two duos of Lightners and Darkners, and it requires way less worldbuilding changes than this idea of mine, but I really can’t imagine Ralsei with Lancer’s personality at all? and I can’t say I have any ideas on how I’d handle Kris and Susie’s personality swap, either.

so if we’re avoiding that swap, the next logical option to me would be Kris & Ralsei and Susie & Lancer, since those are the two main friendships for a chunk of the game. but then that causes the issue of Darkners in the roles of Lightners, and the only way I could make sense of that is to swap the Dark World and Light World entirely. swapping locations usually isn’t my preference, but I could see this being fun!

a Dark World-themed Hometown could have buildings in the style of Card Castle and Ralsei’s Empty Town, and the autumn trees would be replaced by those red square-leafed trees like in the field and forest, and the Darkners who live there are just chill friendly people to talk to.

the Light World would then be the one you fall into, and it’d have the same layout as the original game’s Dark World but with the Light World aesthetic. the field and forest would be all autumnal, and maybe the Empty Town could look like the graveyard area? and I guess you’d have more of UT’s monsters who can show up as repeated enemy encounters, but there’d be the occasional familiar faces to talk to or fight as well.

as for the characters: no clue what to do with Ralsei’s home life or the player possession thing, but I’d see him as the quiet loner type like DR Kris, though still very sweet and friendly, and not as much of a silent protagonist. maybe he’d have his classic hat and black fur appearance in the Dark World and the hatless white-furred look in the Light World.

Lancer would be outright meaner but his insults still tend to be pretty goofy, and both DR Susie and Lancer already have issues with no one actually liking them, so no change there. I don’t know how his appearance would change in the Light World jhgjksdf

Kris is... complicated, but I think their personality would be like a more serious version of DR Ralsei. they’ve been alone for a long time waiting for the Heroes to arrive and act as a responsible guide for Ralsei, and I could see them having a “my choices don’t matter, but maybe yours will” kind of mentality? dunno how much sense that makes but whatever it sounded cool ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Susie wouldn’t be as silly as DR Lancer, but she definitely has more fun being the Mean Girl with her actual motorbike. also not sure what to do with her home life and being related to whatever big bad the Light World has...

Rouxls in Alphys’ role as a Dark World teacher would be hilarious and you can’t convince me otherwise. “thoust worms, bringeth me the chalk This Instante or thou shalt all be placedesteth in the Detention Dungeons”

Alphys on the other hand would be Suffering over puzzles and you’d probably just feel bad for her until she realises how cool the Fun Gang is and roots for them instead.

Jevil swaps with Sans. you know in your heart there’s no one else either would swap with. Jevil would’ve recently moved to the Dark World Hometown to run a shop, but remains a terrible little gremlin man who says weird things at you. still has his CHAOS CHAOS branding, of course.

Sans just gets to be a hellish boss and make dumb jokes again, only he has a jester-themed hoodie or something.

...and uh, I guess since people like shipping Jevil with Seam (don’t really get the ship myself but more power to those who do), it’d only be fair to swap Seam with Toriel. Seam as Ralsei’s parental figure could be pretty adorable, actually? it’s just a shame the price of that fluff is putting up with Jevil talking about befriending your parent last night.

Toriel can be the sweet, tired shopkeeper who kindly tells you about the Light World, offers you some food and armour, and later gives you hints about her long-lost friend who got locked in Clown Jail for causing problems on purpose.

I guess Spade King and Asgore would be an obvious swap, but I can’t see the King being a father figure to Ralsei and there’s no way in hell Asgore would be cruel to Susie, so who knows.

swapping Clover and Undyne could be very cute! DR Undyne being a cop is, uh, controversial to say the least, so instead Clover could be one of those people who holds stop signs to let kids cross the road safely. some of her heads yell at people if they don’t slow down quick enough.

Undyne’s just yelling about puzzles and celebrating her birthday, she’s having a good time

I have nothing more than that and this already got miles long anyway but if there were a Deltaswap like that out there maybe it’d be kinda neat 👍

[kokoronbain]

This fanfiction takes place after a certain event from @djstandsfordeadjockey where Paloma felt nostalgic by watching sketches she made at this moment...

Normally, I drew some moments for understanding better what is happening but I made so much little pictures that my motivation on it isn't present anymore... And I feel like that I won't never finish it.

So sorry no pictures =n="

Also I mention some ghostsonas but unfortunately not all which were present in that event: Only the interactions that Paloma had since we follow here her Point of View, sorry again. 👉👈

Anyway hope you like my writing despite all!

Good reading!!

".......

It's been few weeks now since that.... "Day" is passed.

Ahah, what a weird day.

We thought that it was a prank while not at all: We had "another" Jockey from a different dimension.

This Jockey was a quite violent and unpleasant... At least he could have cool musics like the "original"....

*sigh* 'Our' Poor Jockey.

He certainly passed the worst things of his life as ghost: Being crazy then sleeping during a long time, having a terrible nightmare and finally being in another dimension which seems pretty dangerous...

More I remember what the another Jockey said, more I wonder if every ghosts from this dimension are... kind of... killers.....

...

It's terrifying.

I don't even know the other myself in this dimension and what she could looks like but that made me freaking out just by thinking...

Anyway, the another Jockey seemed surprised to be helped and supported so much.

Whatever he did in his dimension, I don't regret to make a mask for him... Just listening his voice, he seemed desperate to not have it.....

I know what it feels like.

I won't never have what I miss it since I am a ghost but if I can help people to find again what they want or just comfort them, I can feel better.

And it did when he put his mask and it fitted.

How happy I was!!

He acted in a neutral way about that but hearing just again his voice, he felt more appeased than before.

And then for some reason, he was gone.

For finally find our Jockey!!

And little by little, everything came back to normal.

But I am still wondering about something...

What is happened to the mask that Mr. Morty and I made?...

Does the mask is in this dimension??? If it is... I hope he won't never notice that copyright which is totally useless now haha... but if it's still in our own dimension then that means that our Jockey broke it.

It really hurted me if he really did it but I could understand that he didn't want to have anything it looked like from that terrible dimension... However it can't be possible that the mask is still here.

Because I should notice it on the floor and there was nothing for sure and even I didn't hear the mask being broken. The only sounds was that strange beat and then our Jockey screaming but nothing about the mask......

Well, too bad for me. I would like to keep it as a souvenir. At least I have the sketches on that...

...Wow.

I just realise right now that I had a lot of fearless for helping someone while I am basically associable and shy... maybe I am less now... I even said hello to a newly ghost just after and was curious about them. Ahah, I couldn't help: I love their style!

Surprisingly after that "day", I never interacted with Mx Cherry before but now, they wanted to be friend with me and doing activities like cooking. I didn't expect that it could be so awesome!!

And more surprising, days later, Jockey talked to me... I dunno why. But thanks to that, I had finally the courage to say what I wanted to express to him since I discovered his musics.

But I never asked him how it was in the dimension where he was despite I was deeply curious. I didn't want to force him to remember that moments which were certainly horrible to him...

Anyway, it was good to talk with him: I even discover his real wonderful name!

I really hope in all my corazón that he's still fine now and nothing bad won't happen to him anymore...

And I hope that the "another" Jockey is fine too despite I have no idea what bad thing he could do...

*sigh* I am in the mood to listen some musics' Iglesias now.

Where are my phone and headphone...?"

Thank you for reading until the end!!!

Sorry for bad skills in writing but this is some kind my way to show how much I really liked that event and yeah I am pretty nostalgic too. I saw again posts about it and I wanted to make a fanfic on that since. ^w^

The ghostsonas I mentionned are:

Jockey, Fell!Jockey and "the Newly Ghost" (Epoxy) who belong to @djstandsfordeadjockey

And Cherry who belongs to @mysty-nights-and-water-ghosts

Thank you again and hope you like it!!

[professional-benaddict]

maybe a drabble where peter and tony aren’t even dating (YET) and peter is repressing being little because he’s embarrassed or ashamed, and he has no intention of ever telling tony. peter doesn’t even know what being a little IS, he’s in such denial. but tony isn’t stupid and notices the times peter will catch himself from regressing, or when he regresses and then hides from tony until it’s over. tony brings it up and peter feels humiliated until tony comforts him and explains it all to peter.

I changed a few things because that’s just where the writing took me ahah hopes that’s okay darling💗💗

Tony, 18+ Peter, kink negotiation/discovery (?), fluff, Peter blushing and stuttering a lot, Tony being Soft and Understanding

Tony knows a thing or two, and not just about physics and how to make an amazing lasagna, but also about kink. He’s been on this Earth for half a century and he recognises repression and denial when he sees it. Tony knows that Peter’s hiding something, something big and personal. He can’t deny that it hurts that his boyfriend won’t be honest with him, but he tries to put his own feelings aside and figure out a way to ask Peter. 

Tony comes up with a plan, and it’s a detailed one and he has practiced his lines as if he is performing in a play, but he forgets all about it when he finds Peter in the living room, chewing and sucking on his thumb while he watches an old Bond movie. The setting couldn’t be more perfect and carefully, Tony approaches Peter and sits down next to him. The boy pulls his thumb back and scrambles into a more upright position on the sofa, keeping his eyes fixed on the TV. 

”Why were you sucking your thumb?” Tony starts gently, sitting sideways on the sofa so that he can face Peter. 

”I wasn’t.” Peter tries, but his voice is squeaky, which it tends to sound like when the boy is nervous or embarrassed. 

”Yes, you were. It’s completely fine, I’m just curious to know why.” Tony argues, his tone still gentle and kind. Peter still won’t face his older boyfriend and continues to watch the movie. After a moment, he speaks quietly. 

”I dunno- it just… Feels relaxing, I guess. Feels comfy and- and safe.” Peter explains, lifting his hand up to his mouth again, but he doesn’t suck on his thumb. He just toys and pulls at his bottom lip instead. 

”Hmm, that makes sense.” Tony agrees as he also looks at the TV. He has to take it slow so that he won’t scare Peter off. ”Have you thought about sucking something else besides your thumb? And don’t say my cock.” Tony warns, making Peter giggle next to him. Some of the tension seems to roll off of Peter’s shoulders and he breathes a little easier before he speaks. 

”Yeah, I uhm- I saw like a picture on Twitter where someone- like a grown woman was sucking a paci? It’s so weird, I know, but…” Peter explains hastily before sighing softly. ”I can’t stop thinking about it.” He admits quietly. 

Tony hums and nods, glancing over at Peter, but the boy still won’t remove his gaze from the TV. But, Tony doubts he is actually paying attention to the movie as he seems very deep in thought. 

”Do you want one too?” Tony finally asks, sensing that this could be the tipping point where Peter either jolts off or they can actually talk more about the kink that is the elephant in their living room. Long seconds pass in tense silence and Tony is just about to repeat the question, thinking that Peter didn’t hear him, when Peter answers with a little nod. 

”Yeah, I- I think I do.” He admits, his voice barely a whisper. And that was the beginning of a long kink negotiation and during the same night, Tony and Peter order a bunch of Little stuff together online. 

”If you don’t like it, we’ll just get rid of it and never speak of it again.” Tony assures, pulling Peter into a tight hug. Peter nods his head as much as he can from where he is pressed against his boyfriend’s chest. 

”I-I think I’ll like it. I- I wanna be your baby boy.” 

”And I wanna be your Daddy.” Tony adds and Peter lets out a squeak of excitement. He cannot wait for the packages to arrive in a few days. 

[lunawings]

King of Prism Rose Party 2019 Orchestra Concert (10/13/2019)

So as usual I like to talk about the entire experience of the event to keep a record/help guide people who want to do stuff like this in the future, so if you only want to read about the parts of the show with the voice actors please skip to the end. 

This was intended to be a 2-day event with a concert by the stage actors on the 12th and an orchestra concert on the 13th, but typhoon Hagibis cancelled the live show for the 12th (although it was streamed online) and delayed the 13th. 

I woke up on the morning of the 13th waaaay too early, partially from excitement and partially from adrenaline from the typhoon probably.... 

Also it was a beautiful frikkin day. I don’t know the science of it, but the day after any typhoon is always sunny and just gorgeous. 

If it weren’t for the elderly folk cleaning up the stray leaves and branches from the street you’d have never known what happened the previous night. 

The original plan for the merch was that they would let us line up by 7, hand out tickets by 8, and start selling by 10 so I was planning to get there by at least 6 am originally. But, after the typhoon they announced merch sales would be from 12. Still, I ended up getting there at 8 since it was just so nice outside, I felt like I could use a walk, and because there was no other info I couldn’t help worrying about how things would really go down. The trains weren’t running that morning (or at least JR wasn’t) because they had to ensure the safety of the tracks or whatnot, so the only other people around were also fans that had decided to stay close to the venue. We loitered around awkwardly, every so often asking the staff what was going on only to be told that sales would start from 12 and still no other info. 

But it was dangerous to stray too far away because we all knew there would be that “OK go” moment where we could all get in line, and where you decided to randomly loiter around would determine your position in line. That “OK go” moment finally came at around 11:15, and I ended up in the middle of an incredibly short line of only about 40 people or so. Is this really all there is? We wondered until about 11:30 when the line suddenly quadrupled and we realized ah, I guess the first train got in ahah. 

Waiting in the line was really funny because this event took place during the Rugby World Cup, so there were a lot of bewildered middle-aged white people in rugby shirts just walking by and getting caught up in clouds of King of Prism fangirls. They would always stop and look at us like ?? then casually try and keep walking but then stop again for longer and look at us like what. Haha. Baby boomers were peeking in the windows to see what the heck all these Japanese girls (and one white girl) were lining up for and walking away more confused. 

We thought they would just open sales at 12 like they said and go in order, but actually they handed out tickets anyway so the people who came by train had no disadvantage. (Still, even though it was random I got number 42 which was incredible.) The tickets ended up being kind of a joke though! Usually they call in large groups and you check online to see when your number would be coming up. But instead the guy was like. 

“Okay, ready? Number 1... 2.... 3...!” Hahaha like WHAT! There was an awkward moment where someone had to admit to being number 1 in front of everyone or we couldn’t go in. (People looking around like OK WHAT BITCH PULLED NUMBER 1...)  So I got into merch in roughly the amount of time it takes to slowly count to 42. They had so many registers and so much merch (and less people than usual) so everyone got in and out in like 30 minutes and bought everything they wanted. Incredible. 

I think the only thing that sold out early-ish was the Torachi and Dorachi plushies and they weren’t even event exclusive. 

When the doors opened for the event, people who had the “special” two-day tickets were given the special bonuses that came with them for both days of the event.

I put “special” in quotations because literally everyone there seemed to have the two-day tickets because there were zero people in the other line ahah. But I also guess maybe people with the two-day tickets were more likely to come on Friday like I did and avoided trouble with the trains? I dunno. Anyway.

The bonus for the orchestra concert was a coaster and some rose tea. The bonus for the stage show was a file with some cards in side (I guess they are supposed to be Edel Rose IDs?) one which reveals the stage actors when you turn it a certain way. 

Holding the bonus in my hands which I would have received at the live stage show was the moment it finally hit me what could have been if only the show hadn’t been cancelled... ahhh..... hdldksjf.................

So, the concert. 

It started up with just the orchestra, playing the background music from the movies/anime. Something I never really thought about before was about how the music from the first two movies is kind of non-specific. Like, although I definitely recognized all of it, I had trouble remembering exactly which scene(s) it was from. Meanwhile, although I am less familiar with the background music from SSS since the CD only just came out, there are a lot of songs which are specifically associated with certain characters and certain scenes. Like the music which plays during Leo’s flashback to his childhood, or the music that plays when Minato talks to his parents and decides to go back to Tokyo. 

I used to go to orchestra/wind ensemble concerts all the time as a music student, but somewhere along the way I stopped. (WHY DID I STOP) Still, I haven’t been to many professional orchestra concerts, so I’m not used to things sounding so.... how should I say.... perfect ahah. There were a few times I had to stop and remind myself that this was actually live and not a recording. 

There were a few times when I didn’t feel that need though. Like during the performance of the music which plays during the Schwarz Rose bath scene in SSS episode 1. That violin.... oh..... my...... lord........................... 

As a flutist I have always been eternally confused at how string instruments work. Well I mean, I have held a guitar in my hands and been taught how to make chords so like I know... but still I just don’t know how it is possible to do... THAT...... 

The Schwarz Rose music in general really shook me. I noticed for the first time how few instruments they use compared with the background music for Edel Rose, and yet that makes the mood so much heavier. In addition to the Schwarz Rose stuff, the music they played which really gave me that full body chills experience included the piece from the scene where Hiro becomes Prism King, and all the Rinne/Shine stuff... that was..... oh wow...... I actually gave myself goosebumps again thinking about it.......... (I can kinda understand why they didn’t do a live viewing for this. It probably wouldn’t have been the same.)

So we were allowed to cheer it, but quietly with only one light in each hand. As you can imagine, the atmosphere was quite different with this being an orchestra concert and all. I tried to change colors as little as possible since the clicking just seemed SO LOUD. So I was just gonna keep red the whole time, but then I remembered the DVD so I tried to match everyone to make it look pretty for that. 

But I realized after they will probably show the evening performance on the DVD anyhow because the theater was probably fuller then. Since the trains were down for most of the morning, there were a good amount of empty seats. It was about 85% full when it was supposed to be sold out originally. (But they did offer refunds for people who couldn’t make it.)

So about the voice actors.

Junta Terashima (Shin), Shouta Aoi (Louis), Tasuku Hatanaka (Taiga), Taku Yashiro (Kakeru), Masashi Igarashi (Minato), and Takuma Nagatsuka (Leo) were scheduled to attend. Originally it was just gonna be Shouta and Junta and the others were kinda tacked on later, so they had less to do (they only got to sing once) but of course it was wonderful to have them. 

They first came out on stage while the orchestra was playing but of course we couldn’t cheer or react to them because the orchestra was playing so it was this like silent screaming until we could finally cheer for them hahah. 

They were all wearing suits themed to their character colors except for Shouta Aoi who was wearing this elaborate suit/wedding dress combo with a huge train that kept getting stepped on and caught onto things several times during the show hahah ha.... 

(+one more special guest I’ll talk about later)

When they introduced themselves and we got to Masashi Igarashi, he made such a huge, overblown reaction to the crowd and was like FINALLY! I CAN HEAR YOU! 

(This is because he’s the only one of the voice actors to be in the stage show cast as well, so yesterday he’d performed to an empty concert hall.)

I laughed..... but then felt this intense pang of inconsolable sadness. I hoped the stage actors were all backstage and would come out at the end just as a surprise so we could cheer for them. I WANTED TO CHEER FOR THEM THEY DESERVED IT SO MUCH. WHY.

But they never did..... 

Huaaahhh........................

Well. 

When it was Taku Yashiro’s turn he called out “WANBANKOOOO” to both the girls and guys like Kakeru would do. When it was time for the guys to repeat it I was surprised the response was a lot heartier than I was expecting! Despite being about zero men in the merch line, there were more than I realized at the show. How nice! It always makes me really happy when they call out to girls at Love Live events, so I was really happy for them. 

In the middle they all did a talk session where they played and discussed scenes from the SSS anime where the music was significant. 

And it was weird because.... while they were playing the scenes we all automatically cheered them like we would do in the theater. Except several of the voice actors were RIGHT THERE watching us react to their work. Come to think of it, it may have been a little strange for them to see us cheering for their work as if they weren’t there. It was almost like all walked in on each other naked for a second. I have been trying to think of the best way to describe it and that was all I could come up with ahaha....

When they showed Brilliant Oath I wasn’t sure if we were supposed to sing or not? I think they really wanted us to sing but people were afraid to. So I was mouthing the words really exaggeratedly and probably looked like such a weirdo haha.... I’m not going to jump to the conclusion that Junta Terashima was actually looking at me during this part, but I was singing to him and he was kinda looking over in my direction ///// The scene ended right before “Chikai no ring....” so there was this little “Chi--” from the audience when we didn’t know the scene was going to end and they all laughed at that. 

While the orchestra was tuning up they joked about tuning up their characters. Takuma Nagatsuka was like “Saionji Leo Leo Leo”. Junta Terashima bragged about not having to tune, but they were all like nah you should really tune your Shin so he made a bunch of Shin yells in various pitches ahaha. 

In the second half of the performance just Junta Terashima and Shouta Aoi came out and performed their songs. Shouta was up first, so when Junta left the stage he wished him luck as Shin. 

Shouta got all flustered about it, and turned to the audience like “I wasn’t ready for that.”  

AhhHHhwwrrgh I really want to see that again. But like I said I’m afraid the DVD will be ust the evening performance.  (This and many interviews have shown he’s in love with Shin the character and it’s adorable.)

It was right at this moment, when Shouta Aoi was on the stage by himself, that it suddenly hit me all at once that this was my first time seeing him live. (Since he wasn’t at MRS and I wasn’t able to make the lottery for the 2018 Rose Party or the first SSS theater greeting. Since I have seen the other boys multiple times, and I have seen him at live viewings, I guess somehow it kind of slipped my mind.) 

When he announced the first song (”Moonshine”) there was like, an audible gasp from the audience. Like actual SHOCK at the idea that he was ACTUALLY going to sing for us... (at an event where we already knew he was going to sing for us).... THE VERY IDEA..... 

And when he announced his second song, I know Shangri La, same thing. 

It’s so hard to describe what it’s like to be in his presence. He’s just so different from the other boys. It’s a whole other level. He’s just... I can’t.... I can’t even believe he exists. I felt this same sense of awe even at the live viewing for the 2018 Rose Party but now he was actually HERE only 24 rows away from me!? It did not seem like this could be possible. How could this be allowed. All I could think about the entire time he was singing was just: Angels are real and one of them is named Shouta Aoi.

And what’s even more amazing is he doesn’t even seem to fully realize??? Like how all these girls are just so in complete awe and entranced by him??? He has no ego at all!?! When he finished his songs he was just like “Ohhh I was so nervous!” after singing with a flawless voice from heaven. NNghghghg. 

So after that, Junta Terashima came out to do Platonic Sword. As you may have noticed in the photo above, there was a special guest: Mitsuki Saiga (Shine)

She was supposed to be a surprise, but I knew since I saw her name in the pamphlet. (And I’m glad I did, because it gave me a couple hours to emotionally prepare.) So I was just waiting. Then suddenly the light came on and there she was.

So this was basically the first time I (or anyone?) got to hear Shine sing solo. I know Shine sings on the soundtrack version of Platonic Sword, but he sings together with Shin so it’s hard to separate his voice. Shine has.... a beautiful, deep voice. I’d.... I’d like to hear more of him.  (But now I hear a bit of Hibiki from PriPara in it, which is another complex I have ahah.)

Seeing Platonic Sword Live was something I really needed. I’d been both dreading and looking forward to for a long time. That song/scene has always terrified me. But am I afraid of these two people?

Of course not. 

The dissonance created by seeing Shin(e) on the screen with Junta voicing it below was incredible. As I hoped it would, it made me feel ready to deal with something I have been avoiding dealing with for a while: And that is that even though Shine made him do it, Platonic Sword is still a part of Shin and I need to accept that. After the concert I went back and listened to the full version from the soundtrack for the very first time. It still creeped me out but, I’m getting there...

So, I have seen Mitsuki Saiga before, at the Pretty Live, but it was a lot different seeing her so much closer vs. in the giant Makuhari Messe. Also she definitely seemed a bit more comfortable wearing a blazer instead of Hibiki cosplay ahah.

Her speaking voice is so naturally deep. Like, noticeably deeper than Junta Terashima and Shouta Aoi. When she left the stage after the three had a talk session, Junta and Shouta agreed on how much cooler she is than them hahahah.....

But the best part was how she said that when she voiced Shine, apparently no one told her what kind of a character he was because he was still secret or whatever. They were like “Just do it” and she was like “.....what!?” Then later when people told her how much Shine scared them she was like “Really!?” HAHAHAH.

Before this session ended they did a Shin/Louis duet of Silent Promise. So for people saying the photos looked like a wedding.... basically it was. 

After all that they made the big announcement of the King of Prism era Prism Show Best 10. Masashi Igarashi made an increasingly frantic bid for us to vote for Minato which really hit me and made me actually give him my vote when I got home. If you bought the soundtrack CD and got the serial code I’d encourage you to also PLEASE PLEASE vote for Minato as well. He really needs a break. 

Also Taku Yashiro did promise natural gas if you vote for Kakeru, so there is that too. But. 

At the end of the concert when they were saying their goodbyes, I was holding up my big Shin fan and neso plush while Junta Terashima was talking. I don’t think he saw me though, because I was kinda too far back to be noticed easily and he was concentrating on talking. I think Tasuku Hatanaka might have though, which would be really funny if true. Because he looked in my direction and kinda made a face like “heh”. It made me want to bring some Taiga stuff for next time. I re-remembered the best way to get their attention is when they are not talking, because they will be kinda aimlessly scanning the crowd and if you do something (tasteful) to attract their attention during that time (like holding something up) it might actually work. 

The last thing they did was an orchestra backed version of Dramatic Love and it was..... the near definitive version, the most beautiful Dramatic Love I have ever heard and it changed the song for me forever........... I.... I feel bad because it wasn’t all of them but. BUT! They gave Yukinojo’s lines to Louis and it just... it just sounded so good. Since Yukinojo usually sings before or after Shin (since SePTENTRION sings in order a lot since they are like that) I kinda want to hear Yukinojo replaced by Louis in more SePTENTRION songs. I mean I like Yukinojo’s voice fine but... BUT!!! For Yu’s lines they split them among the other characters. There was one point where Takuma Nagatsuka had to sing two lines in a row and he seemed to maybe have a little trouble stringing them together because he wasn’t used to it. (Like *finishes phrase* *split second of oh crap I have to sing again* *next phrase* eheh I love him.) 

Music Ready Sparking was great and the next concert is going to be great too. But there was something really special about this one to me. I think I probably enjoyed the orchestra-only parts a bit more than your average attendee because of my music background, but that combined the smaller venue really made it magical. I really, really hope they do more of these. 

[you-andthebottlemen]

60 - Request: INTERMISSION X MISSION song fic

Based off this request from @whentheworldswastingtime

i absolutely adore your fanfics!! i spent the whole day yesterday at home reading them and it sent me into dreamland 😍 i love your style of writing too i cannot wait for a new ones :,) . would you be able to write a fic about intermission through to mission? i’d love to see a fic about them as when i listen to the song i always imagine being alone with van having a smoke whilst he’s abit down and i ‘piece things back up for him’ and being nostalgic , thanks :) xx

i was thinking the plot could maybe alter between the reader who has started a career in music maybe? and the reader helping van based on the song intermission and vans like ‘ piece things back up for me ‘ and van helping the reader being like ‘ i’m sure you know what your doing now if there’s a wall knock it down’ and him talking about how the girl has learnt from van and vans helping her ?? sorry if it’s too confusing ahah xx

Thank you so much for your kind words! I really appreciate them. I hope this fic is all you imagined, thank you for waiting <3 

It was a challenging one as this storyline isn’t how I interpret the song. But I think it’s pretty cute none the less. Enjoy!

E x

*****************************************

INTERMISSION

The last week or so had consisted of a slow repetition. Each day Van would wake, get stuck into his writing, reach a dead end and then retreat solemnly for a smoke. He wasn’t himself and wouldn’t accept any form of help or reasoning. It frustrated him to have to chase songs; usually they came to him in minutes.

What was making matters worse was that Van didn’t really know what to do with himself when he wasn’t touring. Life at home while great, made him feel a little out of place. The stage was where he felt most comfortable and touring was the life he’d grown accustomed to. Without recording, another tour or even a press trip to anticipate, this weird gap in his lifetime of momentum felt strange and unsettling.

You knew too that Van was really caught up in worrying about the third album; how they’d not heard from the label yet and what the fans would be thinking when no music came out when they’d originally promised. He didn’t want to let anyone down and it was eating him alive.

You decided to force Van into taking a night off for real, to forget the song writing for a little while. It took some tough love but it worked. You’d made a roast, Van’s favourite, and gotten him to help you with the Yorkshire puddings.

“You just do it like this…” you instructed, showing Van how to prepare and pour the mix.

You had no doubt that Mary had taught him how to make them long ago, but you didn’t trust that he’d taken it in at the time. He watched intensely, his arms folded as he followed your hands and memorised the technique.

Van made enough messy Yorkshire puddings to have for dinner tonight, lunch tomorrow and some in case Larry dropped by at all because he knew they were his favourite also. Your heart swelled in your chest whenever you thought about Van’s love for Larry and the companionship they had, even when separated.

“You little domestic goddess!” Van teased as you put everything in the oven, though genuinely impressed with you.

You rolled your eyes at him but couldn’t keep the smile off your face. Once you’d put the oven gloves away, you shuffled over to Van and wrapped your arms around his middle. He was wearing his old The Streets hoodie. God knows what that jumper had seen in its years. It was stained and wearing thin, but it was your favourite. Van rested his chin on the top of your head and swayed you gently side to side. The warmth of his body flooded through to yours and gave you feeling no words could ever explain. You couldn’t be more in love.

Finally, the food was ready and Van helped you set the table. He poured you each a glass of wine and made sure the gravy was in prime position by his placemat.

“Get. In. Me,” Van said enthusiastically, eyes wide and staring at his plate as you put it down in front of him.

You laughed at him and poured gravy over your own plate.

Through stuffed mouthfuls, Van told you about some of Mary’s cooking triumphs and failures. One particular story involving Shepherd’s pie made you almost choke on your potatoes with laughter.

It was good to see him get back some of his spark. Though once the meal was done, Van recoiled back to his guitar and notebook, only to end up frustrated once more. The cycle started up again. By the time you were finished clearing up from dinner, he’d floated outside for a smoke.

Van sat outside on a wooden deck chair lazily with his legs stretched out onto the table, one crossed over the other. You could tell he was a bit down; he was quiet and lost in his head. He stared out into the garden as he puffed on a cigarette, the smoke rose slowly and then disappeared in the cold, night time air. You watched from the doorway as Van breathed in deeply to the centre of his chest and then exhaled. It was almost calming for you to watch the rhythm of his breaths and the way his head tilted back every so often. His movements were automatic; he was completely swept up in his thoughts and set to autopilot.

The deck on the back of your house had become somewhat of a sanctuary for the two of you in recent months. It was perfect for you and Van to sit, have a smoke and write music together. You’d always loved music beyond anything else, but never done much about it. Since being in a relationship with Van though, that had changed. You’d actually managed to make somewhat of a start on a career. He inspired you to work hard, make connections, be the best you could.

“You know it’s almost a year to the date,” Van said suddenly and mostly to himself. He had a laugh to his tone, but you knew he wasn’t amused.

He didn’t say what he was referring to and you didn’t ask. In his head, Van was replaying memories of sitting on a porch not dissimilar to yours and drinking with the boys until the sun came up, celebrating the one-year anniversary of The Ride. He dwelled on thoughts of how they laughed and reminisced on their journey as a band, but mostly how they all felt like they were just sat there counting the days until they got the call for the next album to go ahead. Always anticipating their next move, always looking to the future. Van was a big picture sort of guy.

It frustrated him how the label wouldn’t let them release music on their own time. Instead, they saw the music as a way to make money so the large gaps between albums that Van hated, just meant more fan anticipation and more albums sold when they had their inevitable comeback. It didn’t sit right with Van at all but there was nothing he could do; this was the real-world version of achieving his dreams.

You moved from the doorway and settled into the chair beside Van, placing a hand on his thigh. Your face was creased with concern as he stared out into the darkness, not acknowledging your presence. He looked almost ghostly.

“I just wanna know for certain they’re gonna get us in for the third. You know?”

“Yeah, I do,” you replied, and moved your arm up to curl around Van’s shoulders.

He leaned into the touch and put his cigarette out in the ashtray that sat on the arm rest of his chair. Van let you pull him close so his head was resting against yours. His hair was grown out and scruffy, secretly your favourite. You ran your fingers through it gently and scratched his scalp, something he found soothing. He moved his legs off the table and folded them up under himself. You could feel the unusual sort of sadness radiate off him and it hurt you.

In this moment, part of you felt like you were holding all Van’s pieces together.

“They’re gonna call. How can they not? And you’ll write a banger of an album, you always do. Besides, haven’t you had the songs ready since you were like 10 years old or something?”

You were trying to reassure Van, hoping your joke would make him smile. It worked a little because he buried his face into your neck and made a small sound. Though you knew that no matter what you said, he wanted to be grumpy right now and just soak in it. Your moody little drama queen.

Van’s head had slid down to rest on your chest, one arm draped out over your legs.

“Dunno’ why I can’t write,” he whined, his voice hardly audible.

“You’re stressing yourself out, putting too much pressure on. It’s all gonna be fine, I promise,” you replied and ran your fingers through his hair again.

Like a small child, Van continued to sadly slide down until his head was in your lap. You bit back a laugh at his behaviour.

“Okay get up you’re gonna fall off your chair.”

You helped Van prop himself up again.

“Glad I didn’t go Lakeview this year,” Van mumbled as he lifted his arms to stretch then rub his eyes.

“Yeah, me too. Bed?”

“Bed.”

You led your sad and spaced out Van inside to the bedroom by the hand, stopping only to turn all the lights out. Once your clothes were shed, you pulled each other under the soft bed covers, kissing and holding one another until you fell asleep.

…………………………..

MISSION

Van had returned home from a few weeks off recording to find you collapsed into chaos. You had been signed to a very small, independent label only a year or so ago. This label had recently dissolved and shut down; leaving you once again unsigned and about 10 steps backwards in your career. You were absolutely gutted.

Van’s first order of business was to run you a bath and force you to wash. You tried to ask about how recording went but he just gave you short answers, knowing you didn’t really have the mental energy to listen to all that right now. When you were clean, he scooped you up out of the bath, wrapped you in a warm fuzzy towel and set you down into bed. The next was to make you both hot mugs of Yorkshire tea. You slid into one of his hoodies and a pair of trackies that were under your pillow from the night before. When Van returned, he flipped off his boots, leaving them strewn on the floor, then climbed up onto the bed and sat opposite you cross legged.

As you talked, Van listened intently, not really speaking much until you were done. You appreciated this as you just needed to get everything off your chest. Tears fell, you sobbed and catastrophised. Though felt good to let it out and vocalise your chaotic thoughts, having them eventually turn into something coherent. You told him how while nothing had changed, it felt like a weight had been lifted just by talking.

“Come here,” Van instructed, then placed both your mugs down and pulled you into him.

You’d been talking so long that Van had finished his tea and yours had gone cold. You fell forwards and rested your forehead in the crook of his neck.

“Now we’ve got you talkin’ straight, what are we gonna do?”

You liked Van’s use of ‘we’ when referring to something that was definitely your problem and not his.

“I don’t know,” you sighed, your voice breaking.

Van ran his warm and hands up and down your back. It calmed you. You shut your eyes and breathed in his smell, finally taking a minute to appreciate the fact he was home again.

“Well there’s no use just spinning out,” he replied sounding just like Bernie.

You wondered how many times Van and his father had held similar conversations.

“I learnt from the best,” you teased.

“Exactly! You helped me get through that time where I was just mopin’ around all hopeless. And look now, halfway done the album!”

Of course, Van saw the positive in your comment. He was right; he’d picked himself up and made it through. Sure, maybe you helped a little. But things had worked out in the end. Van’s determination and drive always inspired you, it was one of the things you loved about him most.

With a heavy breath, you sat back up and looked Van in the face. He was clean shaven and looked as though he’d recently washed his hair, probably just for you even though he could have been wearing a garbage bag for all you cared, he’d still be perfect. The light from the bedroom window was shining onto him and made his hair look more golden than it really was. You reached out and touched the hair that curled beneath his ears now that it had grown so long, a small smile on your face.

“You know what you’re doing now y/n. You’ve grafted before, been signed before. You can do it again. Just gotta get through the hard bit now and not be arsed about the rest of it, it’ll be fine,” he tried to encourage.

If anything, this made your heart race with anxiety. The thought of having to redo all your hard work made you feel sick. But you understood what he meant. He was trying to say that you were capable of anything once you set your mind to it. That if you took Van’s attitude even, you’d get somewhere. Saying it was one thing, doing it was another. You didn’t want to think about that just yet.

“If there’s a wall, knock it down. Just like you taught me. Plus, you’re fuckin’ class babe. Anyone would be an idiot not to have you on their label.”

You smiled and rolled your eyes. Van grinned, knowing he’d finally gotten through. You collapsed back onto the pillows and Van followed. He lay on his stomach beside you, resting an arm on your tummy and his head in his hand. He looked so fucking cute.

“I’m so lucky I’ve got you Van,” you sighed. You reached out and ran your fingers slowly through his hair, you felt him shift and then lay his cheek on your stomach.

“You’ve always got me. Through anything,” he replied simply, as if it were the most obvious fact.

Your chest welled up with feeling and you squeezed your eyes shut.

“As long as you’ve got the simple things, you’re set. At least that’s what I was taught,” Van continued. “A Mrs, a roof over me head…Y’know?”

Van slid his hand under the hoodie and began to draw shapes on your skin, making goose bumps erupt instantly to which he smiled to himself. It was easy for him to talk about having the simple things; his Rockstar life allowed him more than simple these days. He was never bigheaded about it though, at least not when it came to settling down and living life right. Van McCann was a raging traditionalist in that sense. As long as he had you, a house, Larry and maybe some babies in the future, he’d always have enough.

“I’ll always look after ya.”

“I know. I love you,” you sniffed, feeling both happy and sad.

At least you knew that no matter what and regardless of how uncertain your future was, Van would always be there. You’d continue to learn and grow together. This was reassuring in itself.

“Hey, now that you don’t have as much on your plate, we can finally go Sydney!”

Van pulled his head up to look at you, his face was glowing, and a large toothy grin was plastered to it.

“Let’s just stay there,” you smiled warmly, instantly closing your eyes again and getting lost in the daydream.

And with that, Van jumped up off the bed and went to fetch his laptop. The two of you spent the rest of the day cuddled up in the sheets, googling flights and talking about all the places you wished to visit and things you’d like to see together on the other side of the world where all your worries couldn’t touch you.

[kazushuu]

🍍🍊🥝 for both of those sweet boys

o lord this ended up long. read more time!

🍍  :    how comfortable is my muse in their body? how do they feel about their height,  weight,  strength,  and body type?  how important is being attractive to them?

    “ …occupying myself with such things is nothing but baggage. ”

    he says, but it’s only half true. appearances (and identity itself) is completely neutral for him. not uncomfortable, but not really confident and proud either. however if he had to pick, he is often bothered with things below his neck more.

   he’s not bothered about his height, necessarily. but his strength is a bothersome thing. chemistry equipment like machinery is usually heavy, and so carrying those things around is a hassle. he sorta expressed his desire to be stronger in a usual creepy manner when talking about mantis shrimp.he is almost always cold and rigid because he’s underweight, and paired with medication, he’s generally a very dizzy.

   …he fully knows that he’s responsible for his own health, but completely reinventing his lifestyle– even though he’d definitely be even more productive and beneficial if he were healthy– is just an… impossible task, that he can’t tackle right away.

   but on another hand, even if he doesn’t voice it, he is very touched and impacted about compliments (usually just acknowledgements) about his voice, and hair, and eyes, and believe it or not, hands, so he’s subtly proud of them. he takes better care of his hair than anything else about his anatomy. and the pretty bow that he always has in his hair is very much a conscious decision.

   kazuaki picked up on this fact and compliments shuu on his butt and thighs in hopes that he’ll enhance them too but to no avail, shuu always hides them under discreet coats. damn u shuu

   he isn’t really self conscious about his scarring. he is worried that kazuaki will be too disgusted to handle it, but soon enough they’re gonna talk about it and their worries will be gone.

   summed up, he’s distressed about how vulnerable he unfortunately is, but doesn’t really care about beauty.

   “ …………………..n-no, not comfortable. i hate everything, everything about myself! i truly mean it!! i don’t like my height, i don’t like my weight, i don’t like my strength, i don’t like my body type, i don’t like my hair, i don’t like my face, i don’t like my voice, i don’t like my teeth, i don’t like my hands, i don’t like my knees, i don’t like how my hips look, i don’t like how my stomach rolls when i sit down, i don’t like my nose, i don’t like anything, and if if they were visible, i’d hate my organs too.

   everything feels wrong… i’m too tall, i don’t want to bring attention to myself, i want to disappear, i’m too fat- but i don’t even really dislike it alone, it’s just a constant reminder of how shitty and sloppy i am with what i put in myself…

   i don’t like the lines on my wrists because they are a constant reminder… of hitori.

   i like things that are cute and pretty, and i’m neither… even though shuu compliments me, i don’t know how to stop hating myself.

   f-freckles! i also have those, i-… i don’t know, they make me look childish, maybe?

   …why am i looking for reasons to hate myself??!! why can’t i stop??!!

   …i feel like if i met someone nice and kind and friendly, someone whom i’d like, who had the same physical traits as me, i wouldn’t find them ugly, s-so why? ”

   yeah. but as he said, he simply feels like a nuisance and clutter of space, because he thinks he has too many flaws without any good things to make up for them. shuu isn’t super vocal, but he actually finds kazuaki’s appearance very endearing. if not too much sometimes. cause you know. kawa-word.

   as teeth-gritting as it is, he’s happy to know that shuu is pleased with his appearance, and equally as pleased with the idea to experiment and bruise him, so oddly enough, that’s a small boost to his cripplingly low confidence.

🍊  :    does my muse desire romance?  is it something they would actively seek out,  or prefer to happen more  ‘  naturally?  ’  what is their love life like?  do they have any exes or past flings,  or crushes?

   “ …i don’t seek anything, no. i have always been married to my work, but, well, it seems that i became sentimental about this… particular quail. i don’t know how it came to this, ” yes he does, all too well, “ but alongside my main husband, kazuaki is very dear to me… and i shall not comment on the last question. ”

   obviously shuu needs a lot of time, and some amount of pressure, to awaken some empathy and feelings in him. and when he likes someone, he will develop an entire lobe in his brain dedicated to them. although it has only happened… twice in his life.

   his love life is kazuaki, and nothing else.

   his feelings towards ryuuji, although on a similar frequency, are much different than kazuaki’s. believe it or not, shuu has a romantic crush on kazuaki, and had one for a long while before they became a couple, but his feelings towards ryuuji are actually platonic. at least, that’s the state that they ended on. if… time went on, they would’ve developed into romanticism as well.

   ryuuji can’t really be called a crush, as much as that souma projected his entire being onto him, his present, his future, his little embryo hopes and dreams… he called him his boss, because that’s what he was, but really, souma saw ryuuji as a father figure.

   after being robbed of his childhood, ryuuji showed him a glimpse of innocent fun, but was also a role-model in his achievements.

   it was unrequited love in a way, but souma didn’t realize the depth of his feelings until much later.

   as he said, he saw ryuuji as someone to be admired from below, but kazuaki is someone he can sympathize with, and clings to the fact that they’re in love with all his might.

       -sniff-

   “ …hitori…hitori is an ex. i don’t know if i love or hate him anymore.

   b-but um, um, otherwise… i haven’t really met all that many people in my life, so i don’t know… i always fantasized and dreamed about true love and all that stuff you see in cartoons.

   i didn’t really chase after shuu because i wanted him to be my boyfriend, at first. at first, i came to him because i had no one else. not a single person in real life left. shuu was my only acquaintance, and was the only person who didn’t immediately slither away when i tried to be friendly, so i fixated on him with all my might…

   …to be my friend. i wanted to be his friend.

   a-and i guess at some point, we did, but we never even really acknowledged it, because we only realized it when we decided to take the next step already! so that’s wild! it happened naturally, i guess. um, more naturally than with hitori. and i mean that as, maybe because we didn’t know we were friends, i didn’t latch onto him as obviously as to hitori, when we were 18… we were mostly at a certain distance.

   so, i guess, i’ve always been a slow burn, “natural” type, ahah… mnm, when i think about it really hard, maybe i had some aesthetic-based highschool crushes. there was a guy, and a girl, or… there might’ve been two girls, but we never even talked, so… ”

🥝  :    does my muse have any  ‘  unusual  ’  habits, interests,  and  /  or talents?  do they hide it,  or are they proud of it?

   “ I don’t know much about what is considered ‘unusual’ or not. but from reactions and experience, i guess everything about me is called unusual, creepy, suspicious, untrustworthy…mean…disgusting...

   but if we put what most birds know on a surface level about me, i guess there are some hidden traits too…

   …my interest in marine biology seems to be one. i love it equally as much as i love pathology and research, but i don’t have a reason (or way) to show it as a nurse in a highschool.

   …i like cooking? it’s a bit of a shame. i never saw a reason to put effort into it, if it was just gonna be me eating it in the end, but kazuaki seems to like my dinner making skills, so i’ve been doing that more often.

   …there…there probably is more, but i can’t remember anything… m-my mind is full of crabs and seafood now, hm. ”

   the list of shuu’s habits is endless and the list is always expanding! i have a list of HCs on it in a twitter thread here!

   but let’s see, the quirkiest of habits, that are a bit of a secret…

   shuu looks really cute when you catch him eating. he is quiet and polite of course but he tends to stuff his cheeks and then just slowly chew looking like a hamster.

   shuu stims. he’s never really mobile and never gets hyperactive so those stims are subtle.he fidgets with his (reminiscent) necktie, or any other fabric in hand.he chuckles (and makes.. bird noises) pretty much unawarely and impulsively. those count as stims too.

   “ u-uhuu... i dunno... i’ve always been the introverted outcast and no one is interested in me, so that can either mean that i’m painfully average or really weird without meaning to...

   ...i-i’ve been told that because i work at this prestigious academy, that must mean that my skill...”talent”...for classic and contemporary literature is unusual and exceptional...so i guess that’s unique?

   and...um... ” now that he thought about the topic harder, a piling mountain of perverted thoughts came to his mind, “ Y-YEAH THAT’S IT!! THERE IS...NOTHING ELSE! ”

   but that’s not true. kazuaki has plenty of hidden traits. one of his interests, although not so secret on this blog, is his love for hatocatch pretty coore, and generally, he loves most childish and energetic anime and games... and interests.

   aside from writing, he also really likes drawing, but isn’t very good at it, which prompts him to hate the end results.

   he loves astrology, and had a phase where he obsessed over it while studying both art and science related to it... you can probably guess that shuu loves this intellectual side of him.

   as for talents, or, uh, lack of thereof, kazuaki can’t whistle, and can’t wink. (shuu can whistle, but he can’t wink either).

   and as for a habit and skill, in bird form, kazuaki gets frightened so easily and so frequently, that his quail instinct is desensitized to it and actually doesn’t jump and ram his head into the ceiling when startled, and instead his instinct is to hide below. of course, he’d still jump if something were really (really) sudden. but he’s more likely to hug someone than flee.. upwards.

   also, he’s actually really talented at rhythm games... and i won’t tell what else he’s really good at with his fingers.

[a-merman-not-a-guppy]

It will be alright, alright, alright | Carrotflakes

Finn reaches out to Nemo and Tae after an argument with Ariel. The conversation sort of devolves from there. Talk of prom, goats, etc. Group chats man.

@justkeepdancing-nemo​ @moon-yeongtae​

Finn: hi Nemo! hi Tae! I hope it's not weird to put us all together in a chat like this.

Finn: it might be weird Nemo: course its not weird ahah we've group chatted before :heart: Finn: :heart: Finn: I want to ask you guys Finn: well I want to talk Nemo: yeah? whats up!

Finn: i got in a fight with Ariel? Finn: i mean not physically Finn: though she did. got in a physical fight Finn: with ASHLEY A! Nemo: ohhhhh yeah i heard Nemo: at mei's party right??? Nemo: but wait why did u fight ariel then Finn: everyone's heard. Finn: well she just Finn: she's just so Finn: reckless? i mean she told me not to panic Finn: and I know I panic a lot okay. but whenever she says that I swear my heart rate picks up ten times because I know something's happened Finn: and that she's gonna be super casual about it and laugh about it while I have my tenth heart attack of the year Nemo: oh i see Nemo: she's not taking your worry seriously, thats why? Finn: I guess? I mean she never does really. Which I get kind of. Finn: I worry about everything. I know that. Finn: but the ashleys are really awful and I'll cry if they do something awful to her. Finn: I mean it's one thing if it's me, I mean I get it and I'm used to it. but she's my best friend Nemo: :/ ok well she should take your worries seriously Nemo: i get why you'd be upset over that Nemo: and the ashleys arent a joke! they seriously messed with robbie for months under everyone's noses Finn: I've never fought with her before! But this is so... Finn: god and Robbie! Finn: she talked about how you and Robbie were in the burn book too and were 'doing okay' and acting like none of what the Ashleys do is a big deal. Finn: I reminded her of what they did to me and she said it was more reason to stand up and fight them! Finn: I wouldn't ask anyone to do that! Nemo: i mean i think it is important to stand up... i dunno about fight... Nemo: i just mean that we cant let the ashleys rule our lives but yeah purposefully antagonizing them is bad haha why sneak into a falcon's nest you know! Finn: they've ruled my life for years so I guess it's hard for me to even think about that. Finn: i don't want them antagonized and doing awful things to you or to robbie or to ariel. Nemo: :/ Nemo: i mean i get where ariel is coming from Nemo: and you too Nemo: is she really planning to...uh...fight more? what would that even mean? didnt she like punch ashley a or something Finn: I don't know. I think so? Finn: she didn't give me details which made me a little more suspicious but after I reminded her about what the ashleys did she said Finn: ' Youre only giving me more reasons to stand up to them and not let them get away with all of that' Finn: and Finn: 'I cant just stand by anymore and im sorry if that makes you upset and that i didnt do something sooner' Finn: i'd rather be homeschooled again than be the excuse to pick more fights Nemo: aw jingles i hope she isnt gonna involve you Nemo [deleted]: i already feel like i made you a target as it is D: sdlfkajs Nemo: maybe give it a day?? she could calm down! maybe it wont seem so important anymore Nemo: to her, i mean Finn: I asked her not to but there's really no telling with her sometimes. Finn: she really makes rash decisions! Finn: i hope she will but I don't think so. And now we're not talking so I don't know what I'm gonna do Finn: besides maybe idk Finn: do you think Tae would make sure Ariel stays safe? I could make cookies Nemo: course he would but Nemo: ...i dunno if ariel would uh, like that Nemo: i dont know much about her but from everything you're telling me i mean Nemo: though maybe she could eat lunch with us if that would make you feel better! Nemo: except ur fighting Nemo: well after you make up! Nemo: though maybe having three burn book victims in one place is a bad call.... Nemo: hm Nemo: hold on let me think ahah Finn: I just want her to be safe. But I guess you're probably right. she'd hate it Finn: and I feel stupid for not being able to do anything to keep her safe either Nemo: well no matter what we would ALL be there for her if she needs it Finn: I'm so lucky to know you guys. Nemo: im so lucky i know you finn :heart: Nemo: im sorry there's more ashley drama ugh Nemo: if i could go back to new years eve and do it all over again i really would Finn: there's always drama with the ashleys. Finn: next year they're gone though from school! and then it'll be fine! it'll be good. Finn: but I wouldn't change New Years Eve. I did something I'd never do otherwise and I had a lot of fun with my friends before everything Finn: Ashley A can...she can....ugh I can't insult her yet not even like this Finn: but you know what I probably mean Nemo: i can Nemo: she's a wartface who can choke on tree fungus Nemo: and ashleigh q is a literal monster who needs to be exorcised from the planet Finn: I can't believe I giggled at that. Finn: that's a very unique insult Nemo: ii got plenty more where that came from! Nemo: but i  will keep them to myself and this group chat!

Finn: hahaha that's probably smart. No need to cause more fights. Nemo: all i wanna do iis get through school without getting grounded again im really trying not to get into trouble lol Finn: a good goal to have too. Finn: it'll be fine. We've all got each other. It should be. Yeah. Nemo: yeah! Tae: I CANT BELIEVE I WAS WORKING Tae: ARIEL FOUGHT ASHLEY A? Nemo: omg u didnt hear yet?? Tae: no I was in Jun's all work and no play orbit Nemo: lol did he take ur phone again Tae: yes next time I'm gonna axe murder him Tae: THE POINT IS THAT ARIEL KICKED ASHLEYS ASS YAAAAAAAAY Tae: sorry I hate her Nemo: join the club aha Tae: I can't believe he took my phone at such a critical time I'm gonna point to this as an example that u cant just take a teens phone bc their friends might need them Nemo: well the fight happened like a day ago Tae: does he have to know that? Tae: no Nemo: i dont think this is a very convincing argument anyway tae yah Nemo: say someone was dying Tae: right yes also I'm really sorry finn Tae: I'll protect ariel Tae: if I can Nemo: just dont get in trouble yourself Nemo: can we all try not to get in trouble??? Nemo: we gotta go to prom in a couple of months ago we need CLEAN RECORDS Tae: sometimes trouble just finds u neems did John mcclane ask for trouble Nemo: (prom is real right thats not just in movies..........) Tae: prom is a real (stupid) thing yes Nemo: tae yah u r going to prom Nemo: sorry not sorry Tae: I dont have a suit and we are poor I cant go Nemo: i dont have a suit and im even more poor and im still gonna go Nemo: i bet you can wear jun's suit Tae: jun is an oddly proportioned dorito Nemo: and you're not??? Finn: pfft Finn: I'm not going to prom Tae: I am a beefcake with angelic proportions thank you very much Finn: oh god Finn: no Finn: i mean respectfully Finn: no Tae: wow rude

Nemo: what!!! finnyyy you gotta Nemo: we'll all go together Finn: please no Nemo: D: Nemo: but why not? Nemo: its not an ashley party, its school sanctioned Nemo: there will be chaperones right? Finn: yeah but they'll be there Finn: they have to to get their devil horns Finn: i mean crown Nemo: but there will be grown ups! Nemo: also lol Tae: we could carrie them Nemo: no Finn: isn't that the scary thing with blood?

Nemo: we'll just mind our own business ok Tae: :))))))))) Nemo: we'll dance and eat food and look fit in our suits and be home before 10 because thats my curfew it will be so lame and fun! Finn: alternative plan: we could not go and have an anti prom hang out Nemo: but i wanna go to prom :/ Finn: oh. that's not fair Nemo Finn: i can picture your sad face Nemo: :(((((((((((((((((((((((((( Tae: you cant go with us anyway nemo u have to go with rooooooobbbbbbieeeeeee Finn: NEMOOOOO DDDD= Finn: that's true too Tae: finn do u wanna be my date? I'll fight everyone for u Nemo: i wanna go with YOU LOT TOO Nemo: c'mon Nemo: i wanna do the big group thing Finn: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Nemo: we have to go to prom at least once Finn: remember the last party we went to? Finn: it can't be that soon to be forgotten Nemo: if not this year then next year when the ashleys arent at school??? Tae: I cant believe I just put my WHOLE HEART ON THE LINE and finn ignored me ya_bae_nemo [this is a snapchat]: 

Finn: WAIT I'M SORRY Finn: TAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Finn: dgpsodjpgojgspdgjdsg Nemo: i meani really wont make you guys go if you dont want Finn: if i were a prom person i would definitely go with you tae of course Finn: wait Finn: why do i have to feel GUILTY Finn: meanies Tae: nemo I'm asking for a date shut ur mouth Nemo: sorry i just realized i was doing the same thing i did at new years!! Nemo: im the worst lol Finn: omg NO Finn: no you're NOT Nemo: nevermind nevermind we'll do anti prom this year that sounds fun too Finn: stooooop it right there Nemo: seriously you're right anti prom could be cool Finn: Nemo Nemo: i mean it! Finn: Nemo: i could go to prom prom next year! Finn: 

Finn: stop Nemo: WHAT Finn: ugh i don't wanna fight with more than one friend today and Finn: who's to say prom wouldn't be fun if Finn: and ONLY IF Finn: Mr. Hot Date over there doesn't leave for another hot date ever Finn: during the time of this Nemo: we arent fighting Finn: it feels like we could and i don't wanna make you sad Tae: I'll stay by your side the whole time Finn: wow Nemo: no im not sad at all Nemo: you arent making me sad Finn: you sure? Tae: only bc u called me hot ;) Nemo: its too early to be talking about it anyway!! who knows maybe robbie will dump me and i'll be too depressed to go to prom lol Finn: omg. you're both going to kill me Finn: here lies Finn Finn: rip Finn: and if Robbie ever dumps you Finn: he'd be the BIGGEST IDIOT ON THE PLANET Tae: nemo u r literally so dramatic ok robbie is so far up ur ass hes like coming out ur throat Finn: that's gross tae Nemo: im just saying its literally three months away Tae: WHERE IS THE LIE FINN Finn: too vivid a mental picture Tae: what's our color scheme picasso Nemo: the theme hasnt even been announced Nemo: u cant decide that yet tae yah c'mon even i know that Finn: can i make our clothes? Tae: oh hell yes you can Finn: :heart:

Tae: also nemo u can always decide first if ur not a coward cmon Nemo: i think the theme makes it fun Tae: ok fine ur right bc I could be something cool like die hard then I could wear a tank top and no shoes Nemo: id just go shirtless Finn: nooooooo Nemo: rub myself up in blood and oil Tae: hahahaha Finn: sounds like the most terrifying form of prom Nemo: its HOT Finn: blood and oil? Finn: gross Tae: yeah Finn it's for the aesthetic Nemo: its so i can take out the germans Finn: ...... Finn: what Tae: have you never seen die hard either Finn: no? Nemo: omg you dont know my husband john mcclane!!! Tae: do I have to do all the work around here Finn: i guess so Finn: you've never invited me for a movie night this isn't my fault DDD= Tae: nemo we have to make him watch die hard with us Nemo: duh! Finn: is it a scary movie? Nemo: yes Nemo: but cool Tae: no Finn: .... Nemo: there's guns and stuff Nemo: and death Finn: ahhh intense Tae: yeah and a really ineffectual police department Nemo: people die hard lolol Tae: I learned that word today Tae: ineffectual Nemo: i dont even know what that means Nemo: tae yah dont get smarter than me Nemo: its not fair lol Tae: good because I probably used it wrong LMFAO Finn: no Finn: you did fine! Finn: :smile: Nemo: see finn is already smarter than me Tae: jun bought me a word of the day calendar bc I called myself a dumbass last week Finn: wahhhhh Nemo: ahhahaha Tae: so maybe I wont sound like a dumbass while still secretly being the biggest dumbass ever Finn: you are NOT Tae: UNDERCOVER DUMBASS HAHAJAHA Finn: D= Nemo: i'll still sound like a dumbass Finn: DD= Nemo: hopefully i'll be cute enough to make up for it Finn: you guys are making me sadddddddd Nemo: :kissing_heart: Tae: nemo ur the cutest it's ok tell him hes cute finn Nemo: im kidding finn i mean im not super smart or anything but im a fairy so who cares Finn: you're smart and funny and kind and cute? Nemo: oh jingles Nemo: i really wasnt trying Nemo: i didnt mean i mean i really was kidding !! Tae: yeah and I wanna be a cop and if you've seen any movies you dont have to be smart to do that either Nemo: now im blushing Finn: my friends are great! i just wanna hug you guys when you say stuff like that about yourself Finn: and we can talk about pots and kettles but i won't hear it Finn: today at least Nemo: also thats tru tae yah all cops are terrible except for hopefully one day u Nemo: well finny you ARE also smart and funny and kind and cute too Nemo: and kind of a bad ass wow Nemo: i promise i wont call myself a dumbass anymore Finn: i'll try to believe everything but the badass part lol Finn: but good :heart: Finn: YOU TOO TAE Tae: I promise I wont call myself a dumbass out loud anymore Tae: lmfao sorry Finn: -.- Finn: fine i guess Finn: sorry. i just really love you guys a lot Nemo: i love you too :slight_smile: Nemo: tae is just okay :slight_smile: Tae: that's me ok tae Nemo: what we call it Nemo: u Nemo: tae just ok moon Nemo: wow saying it like that was weird Tae: lmfao Finn: tae a great friend moon Finn: moon great friend yeongtae Tae: yeah I hate it too just put moon first white people it's not hard Nemo: omg ok is in tokki Nemo: tOKKi Finn: people should figure out how to say names right though Nemo: mine isnt actually hard im lucky Nemo: people butcher my appa's its awful Tae: tae is easy it's like Taylor's swift Finn: I think they'd butcher mine Nemo: Taelor Swift. Finn: but only my mom and aunt called me it anyway Nemo: tae yah thanks for giving me so many great nicknames for u Finn: taelor swift is good lol Nemo: wait finny u never told me your birth name? Tae: if u call me taelor swift i might kill everyone Nemo: i didnt realize you had one Finn: yeah I don't go by it so most people wouldn't xP Finn: dad said it was 'too hard' to say Finn: and they named me Finn Nemo: yeah i get it i dont go by nammin either Tae: i'm gonna pull a power move and use my goat's name Nemo: omg dont Nemo: tae yahasdfja Finn: isn't the goat just Finn: no wait never mind Nemo: dont get him started Tae: MY GOAT HAS A BEAUTIFUL NAME NEMO Nemo: i know that tae yah Tae: i'll just walk into class one day and pronounce myself Hanuelbyeolimgureumhaennimbodasarangseurouri Nemo: theeeeeeeeeere it is Finn: my eyes Finn: what am i trying to read Nemo: ha nuel byeol im gureum hae nnim bo dae sarang seurouri does that help Finn: i wish it did Tae: HAHAHA it's basically the most genius sibling win ever Tae: i named my goat something that basically means more lovely than the sun sky and stars which are, coincidentally, my sister's names HAHAHAHA Tae: it is my legac Finn: oh my god. i'm a lot slower on trying to read hangul and I got some of it Nemo: it IS pretty hilarious Finn: but not all Finn: wow Nemo: and the goat IS pretty sexy Tae: the sexiest goat Nemo: i want her to call me oppa Tae: HAHAHAHAHA Nemo: >) Finn: oh my god Finn: so is this gonna be Finn: 

Finn: not judging Finn: lol Nemo: whoa is that a movie about a romance between four men and a goat Nemo: humans are wild Finn: i honestly don't know. I just know this movie exists Tae: that's one i've actually never seen so i can't help Nemo: im gonna believe its a romance between four men and a goat Finn: should we find out? watch die hard and then Finn: a goat movie Nemo: i will watch anything so sure!! Tae: that's true he is a slut for movies Nemo: hey Tae: um i've seen more than u so Tae: i'm the biggest movie slut around Nemo [deleted]: well u werent called a whore so Nemo: lol true Finn: we could do a movie night at my place? Finn: or yours if you want Tae buttttt Tae: no yours is fine Nemo: if its yours i can play with pannieeeee Finn: i was about to brag and show a picture again Finn: i guess i don't have to Finn: xP Nemo: were u gonna show a picture of pannie!!! Nemo: you read my mind!!1 Finn: i mean Pannie is a treasure! i will definitely cuddle him for all scary things! Nemo: guess that means i gotta cuddle tae yah Nemo: sorry tae yah ur stuck with me Finn: guess so. we could both cuddle pannie too, i could share i guess Finn: check this out Finn: 

Tae: HIS SHIRT Nemo: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Finn: he gets to be stylish with me Nemo: U DID NOT Nemo: did u make that! Finn: of course! Tae: there is no way nemo will cuddle me now look at him Finn: well if nemo desperately wants to cuddle pannie i gueeeeess i could cuddle you tae if you're sad Tae: it's okay i'm a big strong man who doesn't need cuddles lmfao Neems: I CANT BELIEVE U MADE THAT Finn: oh. so you don't want to cuddle me? D= Finn: so very sad Finn: nemo cuddle me with pannie Neems: i will cuddle anyone who needs it tae yah knows im a big rotten coward Neems: HE LOOKS LIKE A GENTLEMAN Neems: sorry im still not over it Finn: =DDD Neems: u should make him a little tie :((( id cry Finn: ooooo that's a good idea Finn: i'll make him a black tie so he can feel fancy Finn: or black bow tie? Neems: both! Neems: one for the office one for special occasions duh Tae: tie the tie around his head so he looks like a karate master Finn: i think he'd just chew that off Finn: but i like the creativity Tae: thank u i'll be here my whole life Neems: tae the tie master moon Tae: omg that sound cooler than taelor swift i'll take it Finn: a bit wordy though. TTTMM Tae: just call me tm Tae: traDEMARK BITCHESSSSSS Finn: hahaha