#I dont usually post this kind of thing

[call-me-lemon]

Taken from a video posted to the official Wolf Quest YouTube channel

[calebverse]

SOUTHBOUND

synopsis: caleb doesn’t ask much of anything from you. but you were willing to indulge him anyway.

cw: explicit content mdni, oral sex (female receiving), clothed cunnilingus, pet names, use of gege/meimei, pseudo-incest, hints at them being forbidden, pwp, coming in panties, praising, they still banter in the midst of eating out, biting, marking || 2.8k words

notes: this work is inspired by this post from twitter! there was a user who said it was very caleb coded but they deactivated T__T so i'm linking the original post instead. the fic was supposed to be a panty sniffing fic (classic caleb things) but i kinda went off the mark... but oh well... also note that i took inspiration from the characterization from the cn dub, using the gege and meimei terminology. i went insane writing this by the way i think i need a whole business day to recover.

caleb doesn’t ask much of anything from you. 

in comparison to all the times you would ask him for various things – snacks, sweets, little favors, random requests – he barely does any of it towards you. not because you were unwilling to give it. in fact, you were ready to jump on any opportunity to do something – anything – for him. 

he’s the one who doesn’t give you a chance to. 

caleb is stubborn like that – he has to do things his way, has to prove something, has to bear it by himself. so even if he is juggling multiple things at once, even if he is obviously in dire need of help, he will probably have to be on the brink of death to even think of asking for it. 

you would pout, throw fits about this to him. he is one of the most important people in your life, if not the most. so naturally, you want to be there whenever he needs you to. but classic caleb would always shut you out for it gently with a ruffle of your hair or a pinch to your cheek. 

“i want to be 100% reliable to you,” he reasoned with a soft smile one time, wiping your tears with his thumb. “if i can’t help myself, how will i be able to help you?”

caleb doesn’t ask for much, but tonight was different. 

at his request, you sat at the edge of your bed while he was kneeling in front of you. he also asked you not to touch him in any way, and he seemed to be doing the same as he kept his hands to his sides. the moon from your window was the only source of light in your dark room, but it was enough for you to see his ragged breathing, his clenched fists, his glassy eyes. 

he sat still on the hardwood floor, afraid to speak as his mind ran for miles. his ears were red down to his chest. you could see the slight shivers of his form. he looked like he was hurting, and if it wasn’t for the tent emphasized by his sweatpants as his knees stuck to the floor, you would’ve thought he was in actual pain. 

“what can i do for you, gege?” he hasn’t spoken for what felt like an eternity. so you asked him softly for the third time that night, resisting the urge to cup his face into your hands. you held onto your bed sheets instead. 

“p-please…” caleb said, but you weren’t sure what he was asking for, or if he was talking to you or to himself. he looked up with wet eyes and you thought he was in tears. “you already do so much for me, meimei…  you already—i can’t possibly ask for more. for this.” he gritted his teeth. “i never should’ve come, i never should’ve knocked, i should’ve just passed by your door and –”

“but you are here now.” you told him. “please tell me what you need, caleb. i’ll give it to you.”

“i don’t know if you—”

“if i can give it? really? you wouldn’t have come to me if you thought i couldn’t.”

“right. right, pipsqueak. i know you can give it. all of it and more. i just—” he let out a shaky breath. “i don’t know if you want to. i don’t want to scare you.”

you leaned down and nudged his knee with your foot, urging him to look up to you. “you can never scare me, caleb.” 

his adam’s apple bobbed up and down, his gaze never straying from yours. there was a hint of doubt and uncertainty happening behind his eyes. you were about to speak again, wanting him to come out of whatever shell he was hiding within his brain, when he spoke in a breathy whisper.

“i just need—” he clenches his fists. “i-i need you to stay still for me. hands on your sides, at all times. could you do that for me, pipsqueak?”

you nodded. 

“and if anything makes you uncomfortable, you tell me, yeah?” 

you nodded again. 

“words, baby.” he whispered. “i need to hear you say it, i need your words.”

“yes.” you breathed. “yes, i’ll tell you.”

but you know your gege, your caleb. he loves you dearly, and you knew he would never do anything that will hurt you. you trust him completely to the point you would let him have his way if it meant his relief, his comfort, his happiness.

caleb searched your eyes for any hint of hesitation or regret only to be met with none. with a small frown, he seemed to be mumbling to himself, as if he was at war with himself, and you were only able to catch a few words. “okay. right. i’m so… i can’t believe… i just need this—one act of selfishness and i’ll get over it.”

with those last words, he leaned in closer, nuzzling his cheek to your knee. he kept his hands behind his back. with closed eyes, he planted a small kiss on your knee. 

your mouth parted in slight surprise, but you did as he first instructed – to remain perfectly still. he laid his face on your lap, his hair tickling you lightly. he seemed to just stay there for a while, the only sounds filling the air was his quiet and content breathing. and when you thought that was it, he started to place kisses all over your thighs.

every kiss left a burning mark on your skin, spreading all over until it reached the heat between your legs. he nuzzled his nose along the expanse of your skin, his damp lips gliding along. he looked up to you with his gemstone-like eyes, the ones you grew to know and love. the heat in his gaze sent shivers down your spine, your legs involuntarily widening. it was only a small and subtle movement, but caleb took advantage of it, moving his face in between your knees. 

his kisses moved inward, and you can feel him smile against your inner thighs. “so pretty, so so good…” he mumbled. “all you have to do is sit still, and you still affect me so much. do you know, pipsqueak? do you know how much you make me feel?”

you pulsed between your legs as he whispered to you. an involuntary whine escaped your lips when his face moved another inch inward. he hushed you with a nuzzle of his cheek. 

“how are you feelin’?” he asked. 

“t-ticklish.” you replied. “but i’m okay.”

he smiled. “and you’re still keeping your hands to yourself, remaining perfectly still. my pipsqueak is so good… you’re doing so well.”

you can feel every inhale and exhale he took, increasingly aware of how close he is to your heat. as if he could read your mind, the teasing fucker casted his eyes down and lightly blew against your clothed pussy. you squeaked, visibly shivering at the action. 

“sensitive,” he remarked with a small smirk. 

you couldn’t even come up with a snarky reply. your brain was occupied screaming and blaring caleb’s name. 

caleb. caleb. caleb. gege. caleb. your caleb. caleb, who sat right between your legs. caleb, who looked up to you as if you held the world in your hands. caleb, who raises the hem of your nightdress with his sharp nose, letting them bunch up on your hips. caleb, who kisses your clothed stomach. caleb, who trails down lower, only to stop by the small ribbon of the panties you wore. stay still for caleb. be good for gege. your caleb. caleb. caleb. caleb—

“i can smell you from here, baby.” caleb said, disrupting your messy train of thoughts. he plants one more kiss on your clothed stomach. “is that your arousal? your desire? god, it’s all i can think about right now. do you still want it? think you can still give me what i want? you kept asking me what i want, no? can i show you? will you let me show you?”

“you talk so much,” you whined, shaking in anticipation.

“now now, i’m the one who is in need, but you’re the one complaining?” he chuckled lowly. “always so impatient, pipsqueak.” 

caleb rose up from his knees. he leaned towards material of your sleepwear that met the underside of your breasts and made a trail of kisses down to your stomach, your abdomen –

“good thing for you, i hate making you wait.” 

– and finally, your clothed pussy. 

he lets out a moan, as if the very contact was enough to pleasure his whole being. but he doesn’t stop at one kiss. oh no, not at all. if you had to describe greed as a person, it was the way caleb’s face never left your heat. 

caleb peppered it with small teasing pecks all over. he moved lower, closer to your hole, and you let out a moan you were holding. one kiss, two kisses, and another two more until he finally raised his head to give you what almost looked like a drunken smile. his lips were shiny and moist. your eyes widened. there’s no way—

“so wet.” he said, and the husk of his voice went straight to your core. he licked his lips, making sure you were watching the way his tongue moved. he hummed at the taste. “so good, baby.”

before you could even feel embarrassed, caleb dived back in between your legs. gone were the sweet small kisses he had spread from your stomach to your knees. he gave open mouth kisses against your clothed core obscenely, making him look like he was a man dying of thirst and the only way to save him was to drink from you. if you were damp then just as caleb commented, you sure as hell were wet now, a combination of your slick, sweat, and his saliva. your poor panties were ruined, basically sticking like second skin from caleb’s actions. 

you were unable to hold your noises back as you were trying to keep your hands to your sides and sit upright. suddenly everything was overwhelming – you were too dressed, he was too dressed, he was too far for your liking, you needed his lips everywhere else. there was nothing you wanted more at that moment but to discard your clothes along with your underwear and put your hands into caleb’s hair, to pull his face towards you even more, rutting against his mouth. but you remained still except for the involuntary squirms of your hips, desperate for more friction. 

“ah– fuck, caleb!” you gasped as you felt his tongue lick a long stripe over your clothed slit. you closed your legs involuntarily, trapping his face in between your thighs. he nipped at your skin lightly, but you yelped in response. 

the drunken look in his eyes was replaced with a warning gaze. “i said stay still.”

you shivered, widening your legs again. “m’sorry, gege.”

his eyes softened once more and kissed the same skin he bit, an unspoken acceptance of your apology. you watched him dart his tongue out over your clothed center, licking and drawing small indiscernible patterns that drove heat to build up under your belly. it felt heavenly – caleb’s lips and tongue gliding all over your pussy as it weeps for him – but the barrier that was your panties was becoming annoying, keeping you from feeling all of him.

“caleb,” you said, eyes heavy and chest heaving for air. 

he hummed in response, the vibrations going straight to your cunt.

“m'wanna feel you.” your words were heavy and slurred, struggling to come out of your mouth.

he shook his head between your legs, his nose nudging your clit, and you whined. 

“why–”

“can’t touch you.”

you had the energy to roll your eyes. “s’very funny of you to say, considering you’re basically – oh, oh– fucking me with your tongue.” 

“this isn’t fucking you with my tongue yet.” he said, eyes full of mirth as he tilted his head to the side. he leaned against your thigh. “but it seems like that’s what you want, huh? did you mean this?”

his tongue darted out, relentlessly lapping over your bundle of nerves, causing you to squirm. his licks went from short and quick to long and slow until he reached your slit. his tongue probed at your entrance along with the thin and soaked layer of your ruined panties, moving inside and out.

“caleb!” you moaned, nails digging into your palm. “fuck– please, i need more.”

“greedy.” he mumbled. 

“says you.”

“oh baby, this is nothing. you haven’t seen greedy.”

caleb wished nothing more but to have you all to himself – he could imagine you with your back arched as he fucked you until your walls were molded to the shape of him. he wouldn’t make a grand effort to keep his hands behind him and instead let his fingers roam all over you, touch your skin, smoothen the tangles in your hair, embrace you through it if he could.

but he knew that this was already overstepping the line. he wasn’t supposed to do this, you weren’t supposed to agree. caleb made a pitiful excuse that, if there was a barrier, if you two were still clothed, if the two of you didn’t touch each other with your hands, if you remained still, it was ‘modest’ enough. it wasn’t past the breaking point enough. that the two of you can still have a way to back out, or to pretend it never happened, that it never counted. 

(oh, but it does count. to caleb, especially. the taste of you will haunt his dreams. he is beyond ruined, he fears. he might never be able to taste anything as sweet as you. might never stop craving you.)

your only response was a shameless moan. all sense of modesty and embarrassment was thrown out of the window as your brain was cloudy with pleasure.

“please…” you moaned. you raised one leg up on the edge of the bed, giving caleb more access to fuck his mouth into you. he groaned, and you could’ve sworn you saw his cock twitch through his sweatpants. you bit your lip; if he doesn’t want to remove the barrier, then you might as well give him room so you can feel him as much as you can. 

caleb gathered enough spit into his mouth and let it drool all over your heat. you threw your head back as he swirled around your wet slit. lips and teeth worked around your swollen bud, causing you to whine and clench onto nothing. 

“yes, right there, oh my god,” you panted, completely disregarding the fact he instructed you to stay still and rocked your hips into his face, matching the rhythm he settled with. “please please please–” 

he doubled his efforts, flicking and sucking your clit with the occasional probing of his wet muscle into you. heat engulfs you as you chase your high. and when you came, it was in white and scorching hot pleasure that you thought you were going to burn right there on the edge of your bed. caleb helped you ride it through, kissing your pussy as it spasmed against his lips, your release coming in gushes. he drank in as much as he could through the cloth of your panties, moaning at the taste. 

caleb looked up as you came down from your high, committing everything into memory. the sound of sighs, the feel of your body twitching above him, a sheer amount of sweat dripping from your neck and disappearing into the valley of your breasts.

it was a view he would dream of for days. maybe even longer. 

“my pipsqueak,” he muttered, soft pecks all over your thighs and lap, just as how it all started. there was nothing but adoration in his eyes. mouth shiny, lips wet, your release all over his chin and cheeks. “you were so beautiful… you gave me everything i wanted and more– thank you, thank you baby.”

you vaguely remember what happened after. only hazy visions of him helping you to bed and getting you a fresh set of sleepwear, of kissing your forehead and thanking you once more before leaving your bedroom. you were almost sure you dreamed it when you woke up the next morning if it wasn't for the cold and ruined panties you still wore. along with the mark of his teeth imprinted onto your inner thigh. it was proof enough; it was real, he was there.

caleb doesn’t ask much of anything from you. 

but if this is where it gets you when he does, you were willing to give him everything and more.

[spookygibberish]

who are the dogstock?

There’s quite a bit to go over with this so bear with me

Pictured: 3rd male and Virgin Queen (Uhasr)

The Dogstock are the Godstock People of the Dog, descended from an ancient warrior class of a now very dead culture. There’s still a lot of details to work out so I’m skimming over this part, honestly. The warriors of this culture ate the flesh and drank the blood of the Dog to become more like it, and were changed. The level of change that just imbibing the flesh of the Dog imparted is not sufficient to explain the level of purposed biology that characterizes Dogstock, and this culture didn’t practice active manipulation of stock in the way the Jacantese do, so the full history of their origins are somewhat mysterious. (I have ideas (not worked out)).

The Dzuzhnutte Empire perfected the Dogstock as they exist today, and their design, handling, and breeding as perpetuated still in Orimat today. The Dzuzhnutte conquered the entirety of the Dochira, the Hochkiskuph Steppes, and the isthmus in between which now holds the modern day the Kiiz principalities (Ann-Kiiz, Bel-Kiiz, Osat-Kiiz) primarily by the strength of a massive and powerful army of specialty bred and trained Dogstock soldiers. One could argue the high cost of maintenance of this army (among other factors) was the nail in the Dzuzhnutte Empire's coffin, but honestly it's all conjecture. Like the people who first captured and consumed the Dog, the Dzuzhnutte are no longer around.

There are three major broad cultural groups of dogstock that I'll be talking about, if i talk more about these guys publicly:

The Uhasr (/yhezr/) (i cannot pronounce this word correctly either)

The empire didn't collapse all at once, it shrank, it abandoned its peripheries. One of the first such regions to be abandoned was the Hochkiskuph, a relatively small, cold desert region with little obvious wealth in anything other than sheep. The Dogstock soldiers stationed in the Hochkiskuph were not retrieved, as there was no particular need for them. Dogstock are cheap to breed and expensive to feed, or so it goes. This happened about 700~ years from the modern day, and the abandoned Dzuzhnutte Dogstock warslaves formed the basis of the modern day Uhasr culture.

Uhasr Dogstock are a very decentralized culture characterized more or less entirely by their shared language. Uhasr means "ear-having", and is a reference to their uncropped ears. Dogstock slaves of the Dzuzhnutte (and descendant cultures, the tradition persists) had their ears and tails cropped as a mark of servitude, and the Uhasr, being master-less, take great pride in their intact ears and tails, enough to consider them their defining features.

The Uhasr Dogstock are nomadic hunters who exist in an ongoing state of constant conflict with the indigenous Hochki people, who are mostly nomadic herders. The Dzuzhnutte Dogstock were brought to the Hochkiskuph to hunt people, and did not stop doing that once left to their own devices.

Uhasr Dogstock practice exocannibalism (they eat their enemies' flesh), collect body body parts as war trophies (particularly hands and heads), observe religious practices that could be said to be the only surviving form of the ancient Dzuzhnutte state religion, have a strong culture of storytelling and communal theatre, and are generally known as "Feral Dogstock."

Oan Dogstock

Citizens of the Kiiz are Oan. A person from Ann-Kiiz is Ann-Oan. Oan Dogstock are Dogstock who are legally citizens of the Kiiz. The Kiiz are a trio of city states controlling the isthmus between Dochira and the mainland. They political history of this region is up in the air, I'm working on it. You'll get what you get lmao.

The Kiiz are currently undergoing a period of high art and culture, scientific developments, religious inspiration, lofty patronage of the arts. The Kiiz are an enlightened culture where Dogstock live freely among humans, slavery is illegal in the Kiiz, unlike Orimat, and all Dogstock are full members of society. In practice, it's rare to find anyone willing to sell property to Dogstock, and 95% of Oan Dogstock rent houses, or live with human sponsors, for who also often employ them in exchange for food and housing.

The Dogstock of the Kiiz exist in a strange, tense state, trapped between the Uhazr and the Orimish Dogstock in the eyes of their human contemporaries. The experience of the Oan Dogstock is one of supplication and opposition, they crop their ears to distinguish themselves from the feral Uhasr savages, and leave long their tails to distinguish them from servile Orimish slaves. A notable percentage of Oan dogstock are particularly strict adherents of the local religion of the Kiiz (idk much about it other than it's monotheistic - one of if not the only monotheistic religions on the continent).

The Orimish Dogstock

I know the least about this culture of these groups. It is the region where they're still actively kept as slaves. I'll get around to it.

[sarie-cherry]

Cw: suggestive / it's nothing explicit but just to be sure

I just wanted to draw his big naturals sorry

[anistarrae]

shadow bandee design i made awhile ago :D (jan 17th, 24)

i feel like mirror bandee would be very skilled without putting the effort in, getting where they are by power, instead of earning it through putting the work in. this would lead to them becoming over-confident and become the cause their biggest weakness. a friend pointed out this would mirror dedede in the beginning of the series too!

[thegreatyin]

scoundrel?? what scoundrel???? the magnificent mr cards (who ironically has more of a flower aesthetic going on) is completely unrelated to any "bandaged scoundrels" running around the neath. in fact it's never heard of the word scoundrel ever in its entire definitely long definitely ancient life. but yknow, hypothetically, if it did know the scoundrel, it's confident that they're really really really handsome and cool and epic and they're almost just as amazing as it is and you should totally donate all your valuables to them and stuff

aaand because i like them too much, have a transparent version. the Creachure. the Thing, even.

[boughclan-clangen]

BoughClan Naming System

boughclan and its neighbors along the coast abide by a strict naming system which is simple, but effective for cats of the clans to quickly identify each others' skills and life stories. naming ceremonies are not only held for major life transitions, but also for cats who display new proclivities for skills they hadn't shown before, such as cats who retire and become particularly adept at telling stories. name changes are celebrated not only within the clan, but also at each gathering as part of clan news.

as such, most suffixes have specific meanings, and many are reserved only for cats who take up specific roles. for cats who are generalists, or who have not yet displayed a particular proclivity for a specific skill, there are generalist suffixes which usually serve to affirm the cat's given prefix. attitude toward generalist suffixes varies between clans and individuals; some find these prefixes to be an honor and a sign of a dependable cat, while others find them boring and uncreative.

prefixes are generally given at birth based on the color of the kit's fur. in exceptional circumstances, such as an outsider joining the clan, they can also be based on other striking features such as eye color, body size, or, very rarely, scarring.

name changes are never issued on the basis of disability, nor are cats ever forced to retire if they have a disability.

below the cut is a list of suffixes the clans of the coast use and their meanings, separated by the role they are reserved for.

Doctor Suffixes

-feather : receives many omens, adept at dream interpretation

-leaf : especially good with herb & berry mixtures, superb healers

-pool : great memory for lore-keeping, rely on their knowledge of clan history to give personal advice

-sight : forward-thinker, reliable advisor for leaders & deputies making decisions affecting the future of the clan

Mediator Suffixes

-tail : good at carefully navigating delicate political situations

-whisker : good-natured and light-hearted demeanor

-shine : charismatic and easy to like

-face : unbreakable composure

Warrior Suffixes

-heart : true to oneself, especially strong ideals

-fern : especially thoughtful

-moss : especially thoughtful

-stream : good swimmer

-belly : good swimmer/diver

-fall : playful, mischievous

-claw : strong, good fighter

-fang : strong, good fighter

-eye : excellent hunter

-nose : excellent hunter

-ear : excellent hunter

-leg : great climber

-foot : great climber

-swoop : great climber

-wing : especially fleet of foot

-flight : especially fleet of foot

-cloud : introspective

-storm : ambitious

-flower : generous, kind-hearted, selfless

-dawn : generous, kind-hearted, selfless

-shade : good at stealth, sneaky

-dusk : good at stealth, sneaky

-ghost : tends to be visited by StarClan or the Dark Forest frequently

-spirit : tends to be visited by StarClan or the Dark Forest frequently

Elder Suffixes

-song : good storyteller

Generalist Suffixes

-pelt : affirmation of given prefix

-fur : affirmation of given prefix

-stripe : a tabby cat or a cat who has one bold stripe

-blaze : a tabby cat or a cat who has one bold stripe

-dapple : a spotted, marbled, mottled, or tortoiseshell cat

-spot : a spotted, mottled, or tortoiseshell cat

-speckle : a spotted, mottled, or tortoiseshell cat

-swarm : a spotted, mottled, or tortoiseshell cat

[delta-piscium]

@steddie-week day 1: Hunger | 1.1k words cw: light angst in that Steve is a little sad/dealing with some mental stuff but like hurt/comfort (not EDs which mental stuff combined with the prompt word might make it seem like, hunger is used as a metaphor)

Sometimes Steve doesn’t talk to anyone for days. He just shuts himself in his room and hides, barely leaves his bed. Pretends he doesn’t exist, or that time has stopped and he’s the only thing that exists.

Sometimes, he’ll go back too soon, feel bad for the ignored calls and drag himself out of bed to see the people who matter most to him. But it won’t feel warm and soft those times. He’ll be too raw and It’ll feel like they’re grabbing his insides and eating them. Pulling his heart and brain out of his body and devouring them without letting him eat theirs in return. 

Usually, he’s okay with that. He knows his place, he knows that’s what he’s for. For other people to get fed. And he’s happy to feed, to do that for them. 

He loves them, of course he’s gonna give himself over. It’s just that sometimes they take too much. They don’t know they do he thinks, they don’t know they’re eating him alive. That he’s presenting himself on a silver platter and letting them take take take, and that sometimes they take too much.

That’s why he disappears, so he can grow back. So he can give more. Because if he stops giving he's afraid they’ll get tired. He won’t be useful, he can’t give when he’s like that. He starts craving, he starts wanting. He feels starved and wants to take and feed too, and that’s not part of the deal. He’s not supposed to eat, he’s supposed to be eaten. So when he turns hungry and ravenous he hides, he isolates. 

Robin is the only one who truly gets this about him, who doesn’t take and demand. She gently accepts the things he gives and never without giving too, forcing him to stay whole. It’s overwhelming and sometimes he has to hide from that too, he doesn’t know how to deal with the force of it. He’s so used to the constant hunger it’s a shock when it’s gone but he’s gotten better. And anyway, he and Robin are part of one whole so whatever is given or taken between them is never really gone. It stays with both of them.

Robin is the only one, or she was the only one he should say. Because now there’s Eddie. Eddie who gives and gives and gives, almost as much as he does. But who doesn’t seem to dwindle and dim like Steve does. Who doesn’t seem to starve or hunger. Eddie who notices when Steve does, when he stumbles and gets greedy. Who holds him up and makes him whole with a look, a touch, a word. 

Eddie who breaks in through his window when he shuts himself in his big empty house and lays with him in his bed, softly telling Steve stories and running his fingers through his hair. 

It’s wonderful.

It's the worst. 

“I’m afraid you’re gonna end up as empty as me,” Steve tells him, whispers it into the dark. “That you’re here now and you’re giving and I’m taking and you’re gonna be the one left with nothing.” 

Eddie doesn’t respond immediately but hums in acknowledgment, lets him know he heard and is thinking. 

“This is good for me too,” he says eventually, “being with you and resting. Getting to be here for you when you never used to let anyone but Robin be. It’s good for me too.” 

“It can be good and still drain you.” Says Steve, knows it to be true. He doesn’t resent giving the way he does, he loves it, it’s good. It drains him. 

“Yeah,” Eddie agrees, “this doesn’t drain me, you’re comforting me too. It’s balanced.” 

Balanced. That’s what Robin tells him too. That’s what Nancy sometimes asked him for when they dated and he couldn’t let her see the cracks. That’s what he wonders about with his other friends. 

He doesn’t usually know how to do that. He doesn’t know where the lines are. He doesn’t understand how Eddie knows. 

“You let me give, and I let you give, so it’s balanced. We don’t take from each other, we gift and we receive. It’s balanced. You have to let other people give sometimes too, Steve.” 

It hits something deep in him, the last words. He knows this, he doesn’t want to know it. 

“I’m afraid they won’t. if I open myself up to it. If I ask, I’m afraid they won’t.” He says it so quietly it’s almost inaudible but Eddie hears. 

His hands still in Steve’s hair for a moment before moving again, gently scratching his scalp. 

“I know baby. But that’s not fair, they want to give too. If they knew how much they took without giving back they’d be heartbroken. It’s not fair to you or them.” 

Steve lets Eddies words wash over him, he knows he’s right. They’d be nauseous with it. His sweet wonderful friends and family would be crushed.

“Sometimes it will happen, maybe,” Eddie continues when Steve doesn’t respond beyond a sharp breath in. “Sometimes people won’t know how to give after only getting but you gotta let them try. Sometimes they’ll learn and adjust, sometimes they won’t and you’ll have to deal with that. But you can’t starve yourself like this because you won’t let them try.” 

"What if I take too much?"

"Then they talk to you, like you should talk to them."

“When did you get so wise,” Steve snorts, his voice is tight but he makes the effort, tries to lighten the mood. Deflects, like he always does. 

Eddie lets him, a little, knows Steve has to. But he’s still serious when he answers.

“Wayne is like a never-ending well of insight and digging around in everything, never lets me get away with shit.” 

The opposite of Steve’s parents who were the first to take from him and never give, never look into his eyes and tell him to eat. 

“He’s a good guy,” Steve tells Eddie instead of weighing him down more than he already has. Instead of acknowledging and relieving the hunger pang that strikes him at the thought. Even now, here, he doesn’t know how. 

“Yeah,” Eddie agrees. “I’m here to relay his wisdom, like playing telephone with whatever stuff he teaches me. The things your parents took away from you.”

Eddie still knows, of course, he does. He always knows.

“And what do you get?” Steve has to ask.

“I get you. I get everything.”

Steve smiles, turns around to kiss Eddie. He doesn’t feel empty when Eddie kisses him back, hungry. When he takes and devours. 

[oceanwithouthermoon]

"fandom discourse isnt that serious" yeah duh but i feel like i should be allowed to talk about things like people being misogynistic or justifying abuse without being told im complaining too much or something, when these are such extremely prevalent issues in fandom 😭

[angelpuns]

Me looking at the super long definitely TMI diary-type vent post in my drafts: haha yeah you're gonna live there forever until I delete you <3

[apollokids]

Thoughts about tsats, trauma, and the cocoa puffs

Nico’s personality in tsats feels most reminiscent of what he was like in The Titans Curse which (imo) is a sign that he is slowly healing and living with his trauma.

The Sun and the Star emphasizes that trauma and PTSD can make it feel like one’s past life events happened to a completely different person, and it mentions that Nico relates to this feeling. This distancing of oneself from past memories, experiences, and personality can result in feeling disconnected for a while, taking on new personality traits, feeling like a chameleon mimicking others, or just feeling empty.

For some people (maybe, depending on when trauma occurs), healing can be about reconnecting with our childhood selves. Depending on what someone was like before trauma, like maybe Nico for example, that can mean becoming more emotional, being more playful, indulging in your childhood interests (eg. mythomagic cards). And Nico’s progression practically mirrored mine exactly through the years, and the ways I changed in ED treatment.

It's hard to let go of a disorder when in some cases it feels like the only thing that’s stayed stable in our lives. Suffering is touted as the pinnacle of art-- we see its romanticization everywhere. It sounds weird to say that I miss being sick, or I miss my suffering, when I'm actively trying to make my life better, but those thoughts do come up. And when it comes to characters I project that misery on to? Well, if I’m suffering, then they have to suffer with me! (After all, they’re just characters, it’s not that deep, right?) Except I found that the more I made my characters suffer, and focused on the ‘beauty’ of suffering, the harder it was for me to heal from my own. Whenever my health was in decline, I characterized my favorite characters the same way. It was just as hard to allow those characters to heal as it was to allow myself to heal. (Other people might not feel the same, though.)

I think Nico choosing to accept the physical manifestations of his demons (while also setting them free, and allowing them to exist as they please) mirrors the suggestion I was given in treatment when I struggled with the idea of ‘giving up’ my eating disorder– because to me, it was always either defeat the disorder or be consumed by it, and defeating it sounded like killing a part of me or erasing a part of my past or my home. Approaching treatment from the standpoint of killing my eating disorder scared me too much. I knew my disorder had caused problems for me, but many of the habits and behaviors I’d developed had served as my coping mechanism and they helped me survive. 

So, my therapist told me: “You don’t have to shun your disorder, kill it, or say goodbye. Instead, you can acknowledge that it served a purpose during a point in your life in which you used it to survive, but you no longer need to hold on to it and that’s okay — you’re setting it free. Maybe even instead of saying goodbye, you can say ‘thank you, I’m alright now.’”

And that’s pretty much… exactly what Nico did with the demons. Bob, too, acknowledged that he was a titan, and that was part of his past, and that’s okay — but he’s allowed to change. And Nico is too.

I just found that really really wonderful because I related to it so heavily. He didn’t want to conquer his trauma in battle. He wanted it to just… be acknowledged, and set free. And it followed him, but he can have a better relationship with his past now. He’s not consumed by it. It’s just there, it’s a part of him, and he can continue to live his life. And I think reading this book (while trying to maintain and navigate post-treatment life) was exactly what I needed to remind myself why I’m doing this.

[knightoftableround]

no bc i just got this scenario in my head and i need to just post it

lisa: hey buddy check this out

*lisa whips out two friendship bracelets*

lisa: i got us these little bracelets!!! they represent our friendship :)

*lisa slides one bracelet onto creatures wrist and one onto hers*

*creature sits around butthurt for the next couple of hours because he just got friendzoned in the kindest way possible*

[acidgreendog]

Had an oddly homoerotic dream about kim and harry so now I'm drawing a questionably homoerotic scene, anyway my favourite thing in the world is drawing a fucked up old man and giving him just the prettiest princess eyes

[rolandkaros]

(if i asked you guys for gif requests would you have any. i feel like there are a lot of amazing giffers on here who have more experience and skill than me so im not pretending like what i offer is particularly novel. but like is that something The People (read: tennisblr) would enjoy? like im not about to force requests out of you, but hypothetically would you have anything in mind? it could be a player in general or a specific moment...but fair warning i would be limited to what media is available to me. but barring maybe a total of four players i can think of im willing to gif practically anybody. idk. would we be interested. but dont say yes just to make me feel better. does anyone want mediocre gifs of their blorbos.)

[icewindandboringhorror]

Recent-ish things ~

[ryez-loveyz]

hey uh. if you follow me. can yall maybe block @///the-bronzescovy

long story short he groomed me when i was 13

he hasnt been active in over a year but im still terrified of him because he tried to interfere with my personal life to get me to unblock him and that fear has gotten a bit worse considering hes an adult now and i dont know what he could do

any social of his i can find is completely inactive but im still blocking him on as many sites as i can

just block dont harass please