#I dont think I have ever been this proud of a fic | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

strawberries-and-racing · 11 months ago

Text

high for this - mv1 fluff + smut (part two of i wanna be yours)

pairing: max verstappen x fem!reader

a/n: im so proud to finallyyy post this and im so sorry to everyone who had to wait months and months for this but it's finally out and I hope you enjoy it🩷

requests that came together and inspired this series:

• nsfw prompts 9-13 (in pt. 2)

• 'listen up. Obsessive possessive crazy max for sweet innocent reader smut.'

• 'ok so we need dark FICS of any driver of your choice but make him very obsessive and possessive and don't forget the smut. Keep it up girlllll!!!'

taglist<3: @flucffyseven @avg-golden-retriever @pxppeypianotme@annewithaneofthegreengable @herefortheteadandthed @ananyasr1bughead @sp1cycurry @rhey-007 @larastark3107 @sarahedwards16 @bbeeth @lpab @yourneighbourhoodfriendlywitch @alwaysboredsworld @lexiecamposv @vellicora @depressedriches @snugbug@omgsuperstarg

summary: a date with max + smut <3 (part 2)

warnings: fluff, smut, choking, loss of virginity, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (f receiving), penetration, edging, overstimulation, begging, dirty talk, obsessive max, degradation and praise at the same time🤨

°~•☆•♡•☆•~°

you and max's steps were perfectly in sync as you made your way down the streetlight lit sidewalk. the rest of the world fell away behind you as he captured all your attention.

you'd managed to let go of some of the nervousness that previously flooded your mind. the quietness of the night and the magnetic aura of the man beside you was calming.

you're holding his hand a little tighter than necessary, but you cant help it. your hand in his just felt so nice, so right.

you'd never felt that anyone had touched you with true passion. no one had touched you in the way that made you feel like your souls were colliding. and the feeling of max's hand left you craving more, made your legs weak.

"max," you look up at him.

"yeah?" he answers, meeting your gaze.

"when you drive—" you pause, wondering how to word the question youd been longing to ask. "—are you ever...scared?"

he raises his eyebrows, smiling a little.

"no, never."

"so, dying, it never crossed your mind while you're in the car?"

he presses his tongue to the inside of his cheek, considering your words.

"no, it doesn't. why?" he looks at you expectantly.

"i just, i dont know. i always think about that. it seems terrifying to me but it just doesn't seem to affect you." you fidget with your necklace.

"i guess... you just get used to it. i know its dangerous but, it doesnt really bother me because i know that im in control."

control was apparently something max liked quite a lot. you were slowly beginning to realize that.

"we're almost there" he says, something in his voice makes you shiver.

he tugs on your hand, leading you around a sharp corner.

you catch your breath, gasping softly. in front of you was a steep drop off that led to the river below. the glimmering lights of downtown stretched out ahead of you.

the sight was so breathtaking beautiful you couldnt tear your eyes away.

max however, wasn't interested in any of it. he had a much more interesting view right in beside of him.

your eyes were big and shining in awe, stray strands of hair littering your face. your mouth slightly open, your breathing deep and slow. the grip you had on maxs loosened slightly. you looked angelic, fragile.

if max could have his way he would have fucked you right there until you screamed so loud the others back at the restaurant would've heard.

but he supposed he could wait alittle longer before he pulled something like that.

"i—" you truly cant find the words. you slowly turn to look at max. you're struck by how handsome he looks in the dim light of the street lamps " thank you for..." your eyes flicker over his features "bringing me here."

you wished he would've kissed you, in fact you were desperate for it. but he didn't.

"anytime," he smiles, looking to at the sky, letting go of your hand and sitting down on the grass.

you sit next to him, leaning into him a little, you realized how tired you were. you rest your head on his shoulder.

the scent of your shampoo, your perfume, messed with his head.

sitting there, with the moon and city lights brightening the night and stars twinkling over head, you would have fallen asleep. but at some point, max had started absent mindedly tracing patterns on your thigh.

the slow, careful motions of his fingers made you dizzy.

finally, after over an hour of you wrapped in maxs arms, sitting under the night sky, he nudged you softly.

"come on y/n," his voice is gentle as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. you were grateful the dim lighting hid your blush. "i'll take you home."

you nod sleepily. "ok," you sigh as he helps you stand up. he puts his arm around you once again as you make your way to his car, his bodyheat the perfect contrast to the night breeze that swirled around you.

"thanks again max, that was fun". you mumble. hearing you say his name like that, and while you were in such a vulnerable state made him swallow the emotions that simmered within him.

"im happy you liked it y/n,"

°~•☆•♡•☆•~°

it's just before 9 in the morning as you make your way into hq. he's beside you before you even make it to the building. max seemed to have a knack for finding you.

you two being seen together had become a regular occurence. rumours were beginning to spark in the red bull team.

over the last few days, people had certainly began to notice that max had a special soft spot just for you.

it was impossible not to pick up on the way he looked at you, the way his gaze lingered. the way he found any excuse to talk to you, to touch you, to be around you.

he was constantly distracted by you. his demeanor always changing when you were around. you were the sun and he was captured in your orbit.

"hey mooi (beautiful)"

you recognize his voice immediately.

you laugh a little at the unfamiliar word. "what does that mean?"

max only smiles and shakes his head, chuckling to himself.

"nothing" he says, you brush the comment off.

"i was thinking, tonight i signed us up for a pottery class. i just remembered you saying something about it the other day."

you stop walking, turning to face him. he smiles when he sees the admiration and surprise that's written all over your face.

"it's at seven, if you're not busy."

it was so thoughtful, so sweet, so astonishing. max verstappen wanted to take you on a date. to a pottery class, because he heard you 'saying something about it the other day'. feelings wash over you. you're speechless.

you smile, warmth spreading across your body. "yes of course." you bite your lip. "that's so sweet of you max."

"well, i'll see you tonight then." his voice resonates across your whole body.

°~•☆•♡•☆•~°

you spent the whole evening getting ready. you were too anxious to do anything else. the idea of going on a date with max verstappen had you jittery.

you wanted everything to be perfect. you relished the time you spent showering, doing your nails and your hair. putting on your makeup and your white dress.

you're ready early and you can't stand having nothing to do other than sit and wait, staring out the window expectantly.

finally, you see him pull up. the car is sexy but you know its not his nicest.

you rush out the door and down the stairs. you leave the building and meet him at the door.

"hey" he says, looking a bit surprised "i thought I had to—" gesturing to the doorbell. you smile looking away.

"i saw your car" you say, casually waving his concerns away.

"oh," the implication that you had been waiting for him fueled his confidence.

you make the short walk to the car together, the sun already low in the sky.

nerves twisted inside of you so tightly that you were surprised you could even walk. despite your nervousness, you could hardly hold back your smile.

you were so excited, there was no other way to put it.

°~•☆•♡•☆•~°

you didn't know someone could look so good driving until you were in the passenger seat next to max. one hand on the wheel, the other resting on the glove box.

the rev of the engine, his natural tendency to drive aggressively, to drive fast.

something about it. how controlling the car was so effortless for him, had you pressing your knees together.

"what made you want to do pottery?" he asks, bringing you back to the present.

you look at him. "i don't know," you admit "it seems relaxing, and i've been wanting to try something new."

"relaxing? it's always seemed stressful to me, having to shape the clay and everything," he glances at you, "messy too."

you both smile.

"yeah but that's part of it, and you get to wear an apron so it's no big deal."

it's not a long drive, and soon the little pottery place comes into view as he pulls into the mostly empty parking lot. the pottery studio is nestled between a coffee shop and a little book store. it seems like something you'd find in a tv show.

you take a deep breath, letting excitment replace your tense nerves.

°~•☆•♡•☆•~°

focusing on your own pottery proved to be extremely difficult. your eyes kept wandering over to max's hands.

he worked the clay with such careful precision and looked so goddamn good doing it. the fluid mouvments of his fingers, the concentration in his eyes.

it was sexy, and it was building that familiar tension and heat in your stomach that you always felt when you were around him.

even though it was his first time doing this, he looked confident, sure of himself.

as the class progressed, and handling the clay became more and more delicate, you were able to find some concentration.

your brows furrowing slightly, eyes narrow as you stared down at your pottery. suddenly, you feel max's knee bump against yours, your hand slips, messing up your work.

you turn to stare at him, mouth open and eyes wide in shock. he's staring back, eyes full of mischief and a smile plastered on his face.

"max!" you hiss, bumping his knee back.

"what?" he laughed, it was impossible to stay mad though and you found yourself laughing along with him.

°~•☆•♡•☆•~°

it was the last class of the day and the parking lot was amlost empty, the sun was barely clinging to the horizon. the two of you left the class together, you walk slowly next to him, talking about the class.

"i didn't expect there to me so many steps. i mean first we got the clay ready then hand to wet our hands and start the spinning thing and the technique i had to use to get it just right..."

you stared at him, smiling a little to yourself as he continued talking.

he was explaining more with his hands than his words. you'd heard jokes about this around the paddock and hq before: he was maxplaining.

but you didn't mind. you liked hearing him talk, the sound of his voice, the many emotions in his eyes.

you get to the car, but max isn't quite done talking. you wait patiently, smiling at him, listening to everything he has to say about the class until, "...so yeah, that's it." he shrugs.

"yeah i agree," you say, looking up at him, you're back towards the car. "it seems like you liked it."

"i loved it."

"then we should go again sometime," you suggest.

he nods, "we should."

his eyes flicker to your lips. it was so brief, so quick, you think that maybe you had imagined it.

"im so lucky i got to take you out," he says. your eyes widen. the sweetness of his words catches you off guard.

your heart beat faster and faster as max began to lean just a little closer to you.

you knew that once he kissed you that would be it, you would be his. that the visions of him wouldn't stop after that. that there would be no room in your emotions for anything but him.

blood rushed to your head, his blue eyes so close to yours.

and then he did it. he kissed you. you felt weak as his lips touched yours, reaching your hand out to touch him. your eyes were already firmly shut and you blossomed beneath his touch like a flower.

the feeling of his mouth against yours, warm and soft, sent once again a rush of helplessness and the familiar surge of heat which left you limp and leaning into his embrace.

his insistent mouth was parting your hesitant lips, sending shivers through you.

your only thought was him. max. you were acutely aware of every detail. his hand brushing over your hair, his other lightly cupping your cheek. his body pressing you gently against the car. the taste of his lips.

all of it swirled together in your mind like a dizzying haze.

finally, after what was a lifetime to you, he gently pulled away from you. as soon as he did so you felt something missing. to put it simply, his body against yours felt so right.

"come back with me." he says in a low voice.

you hesitate, carefully choosing what to do, what to say.

"i— yes," you nod. that's all you had to say and he was helping you into the car and pulling out if the parking lot.

°~•☆•♡•☆•~°

time passed in a strange way as you drove to the hotel. the seconds passed slowly but the minutes flew by.

the anticipation building in your stomach was making it difficult to maintain normal conversation with max. the tension was thick in the air, you tried to concentrate on the city lights whizzing by through the window.

'are you coming to the next race?'

his voice cuts through the silence and eases your nerves somewhat, but there's still a tight knot in your stomach.

'yeah i am, i can't wait.' he glances at you 'i mean i've heard so many good things about silverstone.'

'yeah the crowds are insane, the fans are so passionate you know?' he speaks in that voice he always has when he talks about racing, his words sound smooth and warm. 'even if they aren't too passionate about me.'

you both laugh, smiling at eachother.

°~•☆•♡•☆•~°

your legs are shaking slightly by the time you get to the hotel, anxious thoughts flooding your mind.

you fumble with your seat belt and the door for a minute before he helps you out, taking your hand and leading you up to his hotel room.

he pushes open the door. your jaw drops.

the hotel room is almost bigger than your apartment. it's so luxurious, you can't imagine max finding a use for all this space.

for a second, as you admire the room around you, you think maybe you could get used to this.

before you can continue the thought, you feel his hands on your hips, turning you around to face him. you reach your arms up, around his shoulders. you relish the butterflies in your stomach.

"that pottery class was perfect max." you say in a hushed voice "i really loved it."

he smiles softly, not breaking eye contact.

"im glad you had a good time."

he slowly brings his mouth to yours once again. he kisses you tenderly. softer then last time, more careful.

gradually, without taking his lips off yours he pushed you backwards, guiding you towards the bed and carefully pressing you into the matress.

his lips brush over your jaw, placing soft pecks along your jawline, teasing you with light touches of his lips to your skin.

the tension grows as he keeps marking g your neck with hickeys that will surely embarrass you tommorrow. but now, all you felt was restlessness. he’s so warm, so close to you.

his lips are hot again your skin. you squirm a little as his lips started to trial down to your exposed collarbone.

when he touched you like this it felt demanding, controlling, like you had no choice but to listen and do what he asked.

you were already becoming such a mess. the way you were so quick to melt in his hands made you feel a little embarrassed.

he continues to place his kisses, listening to your breathing, enjoying the sound of your heartbeat, the soft exhales and hums of satisfaction. he takes his time decorating your neck and chest as his own.

an involuntary gasp escaped you once he found that spot between your collar bone and your throat that had you squirming beneath him.

his mouth worked hickeys across your sensitive skin. he was everywhere and made you feel vulnerable.

he slowly made his way downwards to spread light kisses across your chest, brushing his lips softly over your breasts, making you shiver.

you bite your lip trying to hold back your moans, hands slightly tightening in his hair, barely resisting the immense urge to arch your back off the matress.

"let it out y/n," the sound of his voice clouded your mind. his words were a little deeper than usual, his accent thicker and incredibly hot. "let everyone hear you, let's make sure they know you're mine, yeah?" his words sent a rush of heat through you, all you could to was nod.

he continues working his way down your body, his fingers tracing down your stomach. his touch so feathery, so careful.

his hands fluttered over your stomach, tracing soft patterns across your skin.you shutter, your breathing shaky.

his fingers trailed up your thighs, barely even touching you, making anticipation curl in your stomach. a breathy moan escapes your lips.

his touch came closer and closer to your core, his pupils dilating as he took in the view right in front of him. you were dripping wetness, legs tensing slightly.

his fingers trace ever so lightly around the edges of your pussy. you couldnt take it any longer.

"max—" you moan softly, shutting your eyes momentarily. he smirks, looking up at you from between your legs.

"such pretty sounds, makes me want to wreck you."

without hesitation he pushes your thighs apart a little further and licked a long stripe over your folds.

the unexpected stimulation makes you squirm, one of his hands finds your wrists and holds them above your head, forcing you to be still.

his tongue swirled over your clit, you had to shut your eyes. your fingers tighten in his hair, pulling his closer to your cunt as your head fell back.

"fuck," you whisper, max hums underneath you; the vibration makes you squirm. he rips another moan from your throat as his tongue rubs tight circles around your clit.

his forced your thighs apart even wider as his mouth continued to work.

max was impatient by this point, he just wanted his fingers inside of you. to feel your hot cunt clenching around him.

while you're writhing in pleasure underneath him all he can think about is taking advantage of your lovely body, taking control of your mind, ruining you for anyone else.

your fingers knot in his hair as his fingers rub over your g-spot, pulling him in and pushing him out at the same time.

every sweet moan from your lips inflating his ego as his fingers dig into you deeply and unforgivingly.

you let your back arch, moving your hips, desperately wanting to grind down onto his fingers as your orgasm built in your stomach. but his hand hands your hip and presses you back into the matress. he feels your pussy shudder around his fingers and he has to use all his strength to not pull his fingers out of you.

he would love nothing more than to see the look of desperation on your face, to hear you beg and plead for him to let you come. but he thought better of it, he decided that tonight was for you.

he shifts so that he's back on top of you, his thumb replacing his tongue on your clit and his mouth back on your neck.

"you wanna come don't you?"

you open your mouth to respond but before you can get the words out he curls his fingers inside of you, making you hiss, your fingers twist and grip the sheets.

"max—" you moan as he curls his fingers and scissors them, stretching you and making your eyes roll back.

"please" you whimpered.

you were so dangerously close to the edge, every thrust of his fingers nudging you closer to the tipping point.

finally, max let you come. one last impossibly deep thrust of his fingers and you were coming. moans falling from your lips, shutting your eyes in ecstasy.

his fingers gradually slowed as bliss rippled over you and your body trembled beneath his.

the sound of your heavy breathing filled the room as he gently pulled his fingers out of you, they're soaked in your cum.

without any thought or hesitation, he licks his fingers clean. the action was so casual, as if he'd done it a hundred times before, but it made your cunt ache for more of him.

you can't help but push your hips forwards a little and grind up and down the length of his cock.

he groans, his head falling and his hands once again coming to your hips to stop your mouvments.

"patience," he breathes, as his mouth once again finds your neck, his hands running across your body.

just as your breathing was beginning to steady, he runs the head of his cock over your folds, your cunt clenched around nothing, a million thoughts flood your mind.

he was so close to you in so many ways, almost inside you. his closeness helped your body relax, the warm tingling of your orgasm still lingering.

but the relaxation was short-lived as you realized: he doesn't know.

"max...?" your voice is bearly audible.

"mm hmm" max murmurs. he feels your body freeze up beneath him. he pulls away from your neck slightly to look at you.

you're blushing immensely and can't even meet his eyes. he's hit with realization before you even say anything.

"i've never—" you can barely get the words out, your voice a shy whisper. "i mean...it's my first time."

those four little words fuzzied his mind with a cloud of lust.

the fact that you were offering him something so precious, the fact that you were so pure, so untouched, that he would be the one to take your virginity affected every inch of him.

he brushed a strand of hair out of your eyes, his hand resting on your cheek. "dont worry, i'll take care of you" he says in a hushed voice.

his soft words were a stark contrast to his thoughts, all he could think about in that moment was fucking you stupid and corrupting your innocence.

but he didn't let it show. instead, he leaned down to kiss you.

“do you trust me?” his voice almost a whisper. his hands hold you by your waist, his eyes staring into yours.

you nod, eyes stinging with tears that threaten to spill over. emotions swirl inside you, you're unsure what you should be feeling. you swallow, trying to compose yourself.

"just... please be gentle" you murmur. max's lips press against your neck, you feel the vibration from a low sound in the back of his throat.

you sounded so painfully innocent, like you didn't really know what was going on.

he doesn't think you even know how your voice sounds. so soft, so sweet like your words are dipped in honey. everything about you was tearing him apart.

"breathe," he says.

you let out the breath you didn't realize you'd been holding. you moan instinctively at the stretch as you feel his cock entered you.

it was undescribable. you shut your eyes, tears running down your cheeks as the two of you slowly became one. it made your heart pound and your stomach twist, knowing that you couldn't be any closer than this, to know that he was inside of you.

max's groans set all of your sense on fire while he continues carefully pushing between your tight walls.

his head falls to your neck. your core is so hot, already pulsing with stimulation.

you shut your eyes, tears running down your cheeks, eyes stinging from the mix of emotions.

your tears only made max thrust into you deeper, struggling to keep his pace slow.

you were aware of every inch of his cock inside you, filling you up perfectly. you dug your nails into his arms as you adjusted to him.

you open your eyes, looking up at him. his usually blue eyes were consumed with darkness.

his slow but deep thrusts envoked sensations you never knew you were capable of feeling, making you moan softly.

he was the ocean, and you were drowning happily in him. you let his waves wash over you.

once he felt like you were ready for more he pulled away from you and without saying a word he guided your legs gently upwards so that you knees were by your head.

you don't protest, only whine at the lack of contact.

he continues to thrust into you, his pace faster than before. it takes everything you have not to scream.

you pushed your legs further apart, spreading yourself for max even more so that he could thrust into you so deeply that the head of his cock hit your cervix.

your nails dug into his back.

the sounds coming from your lips could only be describes as pornographic. skin slapping against skin was all you could hear.

his name was the only word you knew and it tumbled from your lips over and over. your eyes rolling back with each of his ruthless thrusts.

he pounded into you so hard the bed shook. your nails now scraping down his arms as you clung to him.

a new type pleasure bloomed in your stomach, different than anything you'd ever experienced.

"i feel...max...i think i'm gonna—"

as max looked down at your face, all the thoughts that ran through his head were how ruined you looked, corrupted, your innocence gone and all because of him.

how many nights had he lay awake thinking about how you sounded? how you looked when you came? countless.

he thought this must be what heaven was like, his fantasy finally coming true and unfolding before him. as you came, he's taking in your features like it was the first time he'd ever truly seen you.

your walls pulsate and clench around his cock mercilessly, your scream-like moans filling the room.

"fuck y/n" his voice is rough, his breathe heavy.

your body shook beneath him as he kept thrusting into you. the overstimulation was close to becoming painful.

finally, with one last deep thrust, he came inside you. his hands held onto you so tightly there would surely be bruises.

you squirmed as the primal pleasure of him filling you up completely clouded your brain.

after a minute of stillness, of comfortable silence, he pulled out of you. but of course, he wasn't done with you just yet.

you feel him start slowly fucking his cum back into you with him fingers, causing you to writhe in pain from the complete overstimulation.

"max, no no please i cant it's too much," you beg, trying to push his hand away, eyes tearing up.

despite the urges he had to keep fingering you, to hear more of your pretty pleads, he can tell your fucked out. that your body is completely spent. and so, seeing the desperate tears in your eyes, he lets you push him away.

instead, he pulls you to him and kisses you. his lips feel hot, and his mouth tells you everything he's feeling. he holds you, his arms shielding you from the world. there's nothing to say, so you say nothing.

after a minute he sits up, kisses you one last time, and gets dressed.

"i'll be right back," he says before walling into the bathroom.

you sit up, pulling the covers around you, your legs trembling. your body feels exhausted.

you hear the bath begin running. at first, you're confused, shocked even. max didnt strike you as the kind of guy who ran baths for you. but after a moment, contentment settles over you.

you swing your legs over the edge of the bed, and try to stand. but your legs are still shaking, your entire body worn out.

"max!" you call, holding yourself up by the bed, legs already threatening to give out.

"yeah?" he says, walking back into the bedroom.

"i can't walk." you say, looking away, embarrassed by your awkward position.

max smiles, and gently helps you stand up, before scooping you into his arms and taking you to the bathroom.

maybe you could get used to this.

°~•☆•♡•☆•~°

a/n: AHHH i worked on this for so long i hope you enjoyed <33333 do you guys want a part 3? 😏😏

486 notes · View notes

eldrith · 3 months ago

Note

oh babe dont get me wrong, i thoroughly enjoyed the fic (everything you write is an automatic favorite) and it was so, so heartwrenchingly beautiful but omg i'm in pain lmao.

also going back to the last ask you answered of mine (before the sad fic one. lol)!! absolutely he is the #1 wifehusband. dare i say #1 malewife. but this part!! "he’d want to talk to his wife for days on end, and also could (and does) talk about her for so so long to anyone who was around. #1 wifehusband i stand by this" skdufhaskf YESSSSSSSS. i can just imagine him keeping his wife up later than usual (and not for the reasons she truly desires. jace is a dumb Loser for not noticing.) yapping her ear off, especially if it's been a busy busy day as the crown prince.!! or rhaenyra having to cut jace off in a council meeting bc he's droning on and on about his wife, and while she thinks it's cute and endearing, they have actual business to attend to.. "and wearing pieces of jewelry that belongs to each other omg." girl i just went weak in the knees ugh akshfaksj didn't know i needed that in my life but now i do. or jace having jewelry crafted from pieces of old swords/equipment of his for his wife to have something of his with her always, or his wife giving him a tiny pocket square of embroidery to tuck into his pocket that has become so worn from the amount of time he spends rubbing his thumb over it (especially during longgggggg meetings). he lowkey gives fidgeter vibes so i can just see it becoming a soothing mechanism for him !! "so cute and like can u imagine how rhaenyra would just be so happy to see how happy jace is (& how incredible of a man hes become… hes so devoted to his sweet wife)" i'm getting teary eyed with an idea of rhaenyra thinking about how proud harwin would be of jace and what a great man he's become. anyway don't let me expand further on that bc i will Cry (and talk your ear off for 12 hours)!!!!!!! also rhaenyra would be the best mother in law??? ever??? so so supportive and sweet and loves how much you love and adore her son. anyway. Anyway. also in my head luke lives and spends 90% of the day teasing jace over how whipped he is for his wife :// little brother things i fear. and jace has zero shame bc he's #1 wife guy and knows luke will be the exact same way one day soon.

one day i will expand on jace as a father but. i fear i've talked enough today pookie. love u. - hubby jace anon <33

aw stop ur too nice omg :') im glad u enjoyed it <3

but omg yes 10000% to all of this.

jace literally bounding into his wife's quarters, basically oblivious to the looks she's sending him as he just rambles and talks, so excited to be with her. and asking her about her day, sighing gently when she starts to kiss up and down his neck nevermind i can't go there

also in the earlier stages of marriage or when the war is quite stressful and theyre at council and jace out of nowhere just snaps to defend his wife's honor, calling someone out who slightly disrespected her and the chamber goes silent... <3<3 love <3<3

i also loveee the idea of having a piece of him on her at all times <3 and like... jace gets one of her rings and puts it on a necklace and wears it under his clothes. he fidgets with it when he's reading or strategizing, just as he does with the pocketsquare (you have to give him a new one bc the first one is so frayed) alSO he takes your hair ribbons and uses them as bookmarks. yeah

& ur so right rhaenyra would be emotional and see so much of harwin in jace and shes just so proud. also yes she'd be the best mother in law i see her inviting you to dine with her and just thoroughly enjoying your presence, gossiping and just loving spending time with you & seeing you interact with her son. she would love you like a daughter - she always wanted one.

also stop can you imagine luke... oh my goddd. hed be thrilled to make fun of jace and i feel like he'd become so fond of calling jace ur dog lmao.

things like being in a hall with luke when jace enters, speaking with some lord - you wait for him patiently to end his conversation but luke has no mind for that and immediately teases jace. calling out to him, "here boy!" mocking and whistling like one would summon a dog, "your lady needs you!"

or or or (you've awoken a beast in me this is your fault) like

him walking past and catching jace adjusting the clasp on your necklace or something, maybe helping you with your slippers and he cant help but just go "i swear you’ve got him trained better than the hounds." you roll your eyes at luke, shooing him away with a grin as he mutters "he’d probably sit and beg if you asked him to.”

but jace would just grin so proudly, laughing and shaking his head as he stepped back to admire his handiwork - then sending you a look when luke is gone lmao.

& luke and jace sitting at a feast watching you dance with others and luke just gives him a look, "wipe that grin off your face, you look like you've gone mad. i think you're salivating" and jace is just like "she's so beautiful." & luke rolls his eyes, gagging, “gods help me if i ever get like that.”

but jace knows his brother, and he smirks, "oh, you’ll be there someday, luke.” luke rolls his eyes and huffs, "strike me dead first." and with no hesitation jace just mutters "i'll be sure to. if not before."

yeah i have so many thoughts about that... luke would become jace's wife's annoying little brother but also her bff

also PLEASE father jace bring it on omg. he'd be the cutest father i actually am going to pass out

#hubby jace anon😽#jace thoughts ༊*·˚#jacaerys velaryon x reader #bc we are having some real Thought Hours here #ppl need to see your amazing mind

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hangesfavles · 6 months ago

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Nerd Hange headcanons

4.1k words. AFAB NB loser! hange x bimbo (ish)! fem reader. <3

Summary: Hange is more of a socially inept lesbian redditor gamer nerd rather than a normal ‘i’m smart’ dweeb :). These are general hcs of how you met loser/streamer Hange, things they like and relationship dynamics including you secretly eating them out on stream. <3

A/N: this is my first ever attempt at nsfw so i’m sorry if it’s bad or nondescript! also i know both of my fics so far have been for afab reader, but going forward i plan to write for a genny nootch reader just because i find it to be inclusive to wider groups of hange lovers <3 lol and last time i posted i said i never wrote fanfiction before but that was a tiny fib because i wrote shitty dumpster fire fanfics in middle school, but i’ve /srsly never tried my hand at nsfw before, but i guess there's a first for everything. pls critique me if u have any thoughts but be nice i’m sensitive. also shoutout to @abbyslev for helping me brainstorm <3 if ur reading my fanfics u probably already do, but pleaaaase follow her if u dont she’s lovely!!!! :3

Warnings: Nsfw content under my 2nd divider, sort of exhibitionism and masturbation. Not all of this is nsfw, but I’d still like for MINORS TO DNI. However, I know that you guys like to ignore those warnings, so I bolded the nsfw sections. At the very least, please don’t read the bolded hcs. Thank you & enjoy reading!

❥Loser! Hange who is in the same math course as you. When you walk in on the first day, you’re drawn to them, but not for the reasons you’d initially think. You were almost positive that they would be a decent person to cheat off of. I mean, they seem to look like they know what they’re doing, right?

❥Loser! Hange that can hear their pulse in their ears when they see a pretty girl take the spot beside them. They feel their heart rattling around in their chest as they sneak glances at you whenever they get the chance.

❥Loser! Hange quickly figures out the reason why you decided to sit next to them, rather than the other isolated chairs inside the lecture hall. But don’t worry, of course they’ll let you cheat off of them. Unfortunately, their performance starts to dip a little when they realize what you’re doing. They’re frequently under your gaze, and they can’t help it that you make them nervous :c

❥Loser! Hange that is unaware that your eyes aren’t only looking down at their answers. One class when you were copying off of them, you started noticing the way their fingers hold their pencil. How slender their digits are, that their nails are surprisingly short, neat and cleaner than expected. You also started to notice how their veins protrude slightly and move up their arm... You feel yourself biting your lip as you observe their side profile. Their cheeks look soft and pink, similarly to their kissable lips. Your eyes continue to trail over their face: their thin, ovular glasses are slightly pushed down on their hooked nose, and their long eyelashes flutter as they continue to take notes beside you.

❥Loser! Hange can’t not listen to you getting called out by the professor when they notice you copying off of your seatmates’ assignments and notes. It was rather embarrassing, but you’re just happy the professor didn’t catch you cheating on an exam and risking academic misconduct.

❥Loser! Hange nudges your arm lightly after that incident, their voice low so you both don’t get caught by the professor. "Hey, um... I've noticed you've been using my notes and uh... answers. Do you need any help with the material? I mean, like, we could study together or something! If you want." They ask you with an excitement in their eyes and voice.

❥Loser! Hange can’t even feel proud of the fact they managed to talk to you because they barely even got that sentence out, and they couldn’t look you in the eye for more than 2 seconds. But it seems like all that is forgotten when you actually agree to meet up with them. They feel a rush of giddiness, but they try not to make a fool of themself in front of you. “Right! Yeah, so here’s my number... We can plan something, er- sometime.” They write their number down, sliding you the ripped end of their notebook page.

❥Loser! Hange who feels their heart in their throat as they lead you into their bedroom. The study session started off a bit rocky and awkwardly, but the tension in the air decreased as time continued on. As much as you would like to actually learn this material to earn good grades, you find yourself wanting to earn their attention much, much more. I mean, you obviously wore your lowest cut shirt and a pleated skirt for a reason. You look up at them, calling out for them. “Hey, Hange?” You ask, smiling as their head shoots up from their notes. “Can you explain this question to me?” You ask quietly, turning around your notebook to face them. You lean closer to them, purposely displaying your breasts for them to (hopefully) ogle.

❥Loser! Hange who starts to feel like they’re being tested by a higher power. They have to physically stop themself from glancing down and making a fool of themself. They try their best to focus on explaining the math problem to you as you watch their every movement like a hawk. You notice their eyes fall on your chest for a split second, and you pounce on your opportunity to tease them further. You reach up to their face, flicking their nose up so they’re forced to look at you. “My eyes are up here, silly.” “I- Uh- Sorry, just-” Hange trips over their words as they try to formulate a cohesive sentence on the spot. “Don’t worry about it, I’m just teasin’. It’s not so bad to be stared at if it's you.” You say with a playful wink.

❥Loser! Hange folds immediately. “O-Oh... Me? Really?” They ask, their eyes widening and pupils dilating. You can’t help but chuckle at their disbelief and nod your head in confirmation. “Yes, you. Is there anybody else in the room with us?” You joke. They stumble over their words as they think of a response. “W-Well, no, there isn’t, but- y’know- I didn’t think you-” They stutter, pushing the notebook aside and gesturing their hands between the two of you. They feel their cheeks growing warmer from embarrassment as they struggle to coherently voice their jumbled thoughts. “You know, you should at least take me to dinner before looking at me like that.”

❥Loser! Hange doesn’t need to be told twice. They grab your hand with a cheesy smile, practically dragging you to their car while suggesting all sorts of restaurants that you might agree to. “Is there a certain restaurant you had in mind? We can try something totally different, like a little hole-in-the-wall joint. Ooh, but picture this: hibachi. The whole watching people cook in front of me thing usually makes me feel awkward but the food is always soooo good. Oh, or maybe we could go to a steakhouse! No matter what you choose, I’ll be fine with whatever! What do you think?" GOD they are just so excited and you find it utterly adorable. They remained true to their word and took you to whichever place you decided and paid for both of your meals. (They would have done this even if you didn’t joke about it bless their heart.) But then that first date turned into 2 dates, which quickly became 3, 4, 5, then suddenly you both forgot because anything the two of you do together is a date in your minds.

❥Loser! Hange definitely asks you out after only the second date. But in their defense, you’ve been hanging out after class as well as coming over to their house for “study sessions” that alway turned into watching tv or movies, ordering ubereats, going to the movies, walking around their neighborhood, anything but studying. You even took them to a party once. (You guys left after a half hour because Hange got overwhelmed, but you were still happy they tried something for you.) So by the time you guys went on your second “official date” they definitely felt confident that you would say yes.

❥Loser! Hange who loves talking to you about whatever game they’re playing. If it’s a story game, they’d love to explain anything you missed or don’t understand. They also would voice their predictions about how the game will end or where the story will go. If they see something predictable, they’ll definitely tell you what they think will happen, trying to impress you so when/if it does they’ll look “cool” to you. In reality though, you just find them to be geeky in the most endearing way. “Look, there’s a bunch of ammo in this room. If there’s a boss behind this door, you have to give me a kiss.” They say to you with a sly grin on their face. If it’s a PVP game, they will explain everything about what skills and powers each character has and who their favorite to play is. They’ll talk about what they like and dislike about the different mechanics, their favorite characters, parts they find tricky, etc. And of course, you sit there with a dopey smile while you listen to their rambling without interrupting, even if you don’t understand a word of what they’re saying because they’re just too cute when they’re passionately rambling.

❥Loser! Hange who loves inviting you over, even if you two are doing absolutely nothing. They adore when you watch them play all sorts of video games. If they’re playing a console game, Hange lays next to you with your head against their shoulder, your arm splaying across their stomach while your hand rests around their waist. You tend to get pretty invested if the game is story based, insisting that they can’t play it without you around to watch the next part of the story unfold. If they’re playing a PC game, you’re sitting in their lap with a skirt that does absolutely nothing to cover your body once you’re seated on top of them. You prefer to face away from them, occasionally squirming in their lap so they can feel your ass pressed against their thighs and stomach. However, you do occasionally enjoy facing them, your arms wrapped around their shoulders as your legs hang off of their gaming chair at either side of their body.

❥Loser! Hange who also loves when you’re sitting in their lap, even if they struggle to focus on the game in front of them when your warm body is pressed against their own. It doesn’t help that they can smell the perfume coming from your neck, tempting them to lean in and kiss you there.

❥Loser! Hange that can’t resist the urge to rest their hands on your thighs during a cutscene, between rounds, during any sort of loading screen or when they’re respawning. They’ll use your thighs to push your ass back and closer to their body.

❥Loser! Hange kisses your neck from behind, causing you to tilt your head and expose more of your neck for them to kiss. You let out a chuckle at how you effortlessly turned them on just by sitting on their lap and looking pretty.

❥Let’s just say... Loser! Hange finds the opportunity to quit or pause the game as soon as they can. When they eventually return to whatever game they were playing, they find it much easier to focus after you’re both satisfied. ♡

❥Loser! Hange who is also a small streamer! They probably get a few hundred people to watch them game each stream. They may not have a huge community, but their fans are consistent, funny, and always welcoming to new viewers! It’s a comforting little community. Because of this, Hange responds to their chat quite a bit and they’ve made quite a few friends with their mods and regular viewers.

❥Loser! Hange had to explain to you what streaming was. They decided that they would show you what it's like by doing a short stream while you silently watch them game and listen to them talk with their viewers.

❥Loser! Hange never technically introduced you to their fans. Not because they didn’t want to, they just knew that the internet wasn’t always kind, even if their fans are 99% supportive. They wouldn’t mention it much, but they are a little insecure about themself. They know that they treat you like an absolute princess, and they know that you adore them, that’s not the problem. The problem is that they don’t know if they’ll ever feel deserving of you.

❥Loser! Hange only mentions this to you at late hours of the night when they feel vulnerable and slightly sleepy. You spend countless late nights at sleepovers holding them in your arms and reassuring them just how attractive you find them and that no one has treated you better. They start to feel reassured more once you mention to them that you don’t feel deserving of the endless love they give or of the many ways they spoil you.

anyway back to streamer hcs

❥Loser! Hange didn’t expect you to surprise them one day in their room with their favorite takeout in the middle of a stream. You didn’t know that they were streaming and you wanted to sneak up on them and scare them >:). You slip into their room as quietly as possible, slowly tiptoeing to their form slouched over their desk. Because of the slight delay of their videocam to their viewers, Hange doesn’t get the chance to read all of the different messages of the chatters who spotted your presence and are questioning about it. You silently place the bag of food on the floor, wrapping your arms around their shoulders and kissing their cheek roughly.

❥Loser! Hange practically jumps out of their chair, yelping from the shock. They realize that it’s you pretty quickly, because no one else would hold or kiss them like that. They pause their game, swiveling around to face you with a wide smile. “Hi, baby!! What are you doin’ here?”

❥Loser! Hange immediately forgets the world around them, forgetting they’re literally live as they try to grab at your hips while they talk to you. “Mmmm,” You hum and giggle. “I just wanted to surprise you. It’s been a few days, I missed you.” You mumble before stepping back so that their hands disconnect from your waist. “Let me get some plates and napkins real quick.” You tell them before you leave the room again.

❥Loser! Hange remembers that they’re streaming, facing their viewers again to read what they missed from chat. “Chat, what do you mean ‘how did you bag a baddie?’” They say, reading some of the messages out loud. “‘How come Hange can get a girlfriend and I can’t? Life isn’t fair-’ WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?” They cut themself off, their jaw dropping a little from the comments they read. The chat starts to go crazy after seeing you. Most of the messages are asking who you are, if Hange is dating you, or simply encouraging Hange to stream with you sometime officially. But of course, it’s much easier to take note of bad comments people say rather than nice ones.

❥Loser! Hange pouts when you return with plates in hand, ignoring their chat again in the blink of an eye. "I'm charming, right? and cute?” They look up at you with puppy eyes as you stand in front of them. “I'm desirable." They say those words like a statement, but it sounds like they’re trying to convince themself rather than state a fact. You hear the insecurities dripping from their tone. You promptly climb into their lap, placing a tender kiss to their cheek while your hand cups the opposite one. You progressively start kissing all over their face, and they close their eyes, giggling and getting lost in the moment. When you eventually begin moving down their neck, their eyes snap open as they remember the audience. "AAAAHHHH, I'M LIVE, I'M LIVE!" They warn you frantically, suddenly remembering again why they were a bit insecure in the first place. This causes you to jump a bit from their yelling. They swivel their chair around to face the monitor, looking at it from over your shoulder. "S-Sorry chat, ending stream a bit early today..." They say quickly, turning off their game and switching tabs to end their video. You chuckle, turning to face their camera. "Oops." you say only a few seconds before they end their stream.

❥Loser! Hange decides that they might as well officially introduce you after that incident, since they know they’ll be getting teased for it for the next few streams.

❥Loser! Hange never thought that they would be in this situation with anyone, no less you. This exact scenario had been nothing but a fantasy in the corners of their mind. A fantasy that would fog up their mind in the late hours of the night, prompting them to slip their fingers under their boxers and lightly circle their clit with their fingertips, eventually slipping them inside of their warm body. Their back would arch up off of the bed, trying their best to picture that their own fingers were instead yours.

❥Loser! Hange that noticed a sort of glint in your eyes when they asked if it was okay to stream while the two of you were still hanging out. They hadn’t been active in the past handful of days because they’ve been spending all their time with you. They just can’t deny you, especially when you both want to spend all your time with the other.

❥Loser! Hange who has to resist the urge to drool as you carefully and quietly crawl under their desk, looking up at them through your long, mascara coated eyelashes as your knees hit the slightly dusty floor...

❥You aren’t sure what came over you, but when you were watching them put their headphones on and start welcoming people into their stream, you missed the attention being on you. So decided to tease and torture them and force them to give you attention still.

❥Loser! Hange is forced to pretend you aren’t under their desk and spreading their thighs and pulling down their boxers while giving them that signature sultry smile with your matching lustful look in your eye. You bite your lip as you part their legs, moving in closer to their folds. They can feel your hot breath on their legs as you kiss, lick, and bite the plush skin of their inner thighs. For a few moments, you feel their hand rest on top of your head and stroke your hair approvingly as you start to rile them up. They can feel their face heating up a little, but if anyone in chat mentions it they just explain that their AC isn’t working properly. Even from just your breath and kisses teasing their thighs, they can feel themself getting wet, the stickiness spreading around their groin.

❥Loser! Hange melts under your touches, but they quickly become needy and desperate for more. Their resolve is always weak when it comes to you, and your teasing will be the death of them. They’re trying so hard not to whine and plead because they have to act normal and play their game. Even when your tongue finally reaches out to meet their pussy, you keep teasing them. You give them as little as you possibly can, spreading their folds with the tip of your tongue, only occasionally flicking up to their clit. You also kiss their puffy pussy lips and their clit, showing how much you love them while simultaneously subjecting them to such sweet torture. When they feel your tongue finally giving them what they wanted, their legs start to twitch slightly from the stimulation. They try their best to regulate their breathing so nothing seems out of the ordinary.

❥Loser! Hange doesn’t know how to act when your mouth starts to move faster and faster between their legs. They’ve stopped looking at their chat entirely, just trying to focus on playing the game somewhat coherently and occasionally talking about it or making a random comment without stuttering or sighing from pleasure.

❥Loser! Hange’s pussy is dripping onto their chair from all of your teasing. The combination of your tongue and their pussy makes an audible squelch as you suck, kiss, and lick up their slit and their hips move slightly, trying to keep up with the rhythm of your tongue. At this point, they’re starting to feel the knot in their stomach tighten, and they’re struggling to hold back their sounds. “Chat, I’ve gotta use the bathroom real quick-” They say, closing their webcam and muting their mic as fast as their fingers let them.

❥Loser! Hange’s hand finds its way back to your head, grabbing a fistful of your hair and pushing you as close to them as biology allows. Their head falls back as they let out a shaky moan. “Ahhh.. F-Fuckk... Please, please more.” They whine, encouraging you to eat them out without fear. You can both feel how their pussy throbs with desire for attention. They’ve been impatiently craving this, so they plan to take full advantage of the fact you’re right where they want you. You pick up the pace, sloppily making out with their pussy and sucking their labia between your lips. They toss one of their legs up onto your shoulder, allowing you more access to them as the knot in their core is almost ready to release. You look up into their eyes, slurping up their juices. The way you look up at them with devotion makes them feel even better due to how much desire is in your expression, adding another layer of eroticism for them from your enjoyment.

❥Loser! Hange feels the tension in their lower stomach releasing. They sigh and moan out into the air lightly as they feel white hot pleasure take their entire mind and body. They arch themself off the chair, trying to meet your mouth even more than already possible. Their body grinds against your tongue as they shiver from the intensity of their orgasm.

❥Immediately after their orgasm subsides, loser! Hange pulls your head up by your hair, kissing you deeply and not caring that they can taste their sticky cum on your plump lips. Their free hand slides down to the back of your thigh, guiding your body to sit on their lap. Their hands are protective and possessive while you make out. They are such a softie, always wanting to cuddle, hug, and kiss after sex. They love you so much and need to let it show, it’s like a warm blanket of warmth and affection covers their heart. They see the world with rose colored glasses for an hour or two after you make them cum, honestly.

❥Loser! Hange holds you for a little while, their face nuzzled against your neck as they whisper sweet nothings to you. They’ll pepper your neck, collarbones, and face with kisses while telling you how good you made them feel. “I- love- you- so- much- sweet- heart- thank- you-” They’d say between pecks to your skin, causing you to giggle from the slight tickle of their lips moving around your upper body. They only stop their barrage of kisses when you start to push at their shoulders playfully, begging them to stop. “I love youuuu!” They say in a drawn out tone, giving your body a tight squeeze. “But duty calls, so we'll have to continue this later. Don't worry, I'll be thinking about you the whole time!"

❥Loser! Hange loves aftercare, giving and receiving, basically. They’re happy as long as you’re physically close to them <//3.

❥Loser! Hange also used to have inappropriate thoughts about you before you two were officially dating. They knew it was a bit weird to do so without you having any knowledge of it, but they couldn’t help themself. The two of you had exchanged Instagrams after your very first study session and since then, they can’t help but fuck their fingers to your posts. They try to refrain from doing so each time; they attempt to scroll past your stories as if the sight of your face hadn’t already turned them on. Each time it always ends the same, inevitably retyping your name in the search bar to revisit the photo. At this point it had to be some sort of conditioning, the way their body would react to you like clockwork. But they still feel so embarrassed to be so obsessed with you simply because you gave them an ounce of attention.

❥Loser! Hange used to imagine you in all sorts of different positions for them. You name it, they’ve probably thought about it once or maybe even twice. Sometimes they would imagine you sitting on their face, other times they could imagine you under them as they would fuck their strap into you. When Hange feels extra desperate, they like to picture the ways you would take them, perhaps you would trap them against the bed, fingering their throbbing pussy while making out with them to ensure that they weren’t too loud. A favorite daydream of theirs surrounds the different types of faces you would make as they eat you out. They yearn to see how your eyes might look down at them, pleading for them to make you cum, or how they may be shut entirely, your lips parted to sigh out with pleasure from how good they’re making you feel. They’d wonder what kind of sounds you would make. Were you loud? Quiet? Shy? Breathy? Are you the type that moans, or are you the type that whimpers? These questions had plagued their mind until they finally had you for the first time after 4-5 dates. <3

i miss hange rip hange you would’ve loved being the most nerdy loser dork the geek world ever saw.

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kisses4spidey · 6 months ago

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renovation | ☆ミ p. parker

summary - y/n renovates the spare bedroom into something she thinks peter will love, but there’s something he loves even more.

genre - fem!reader x peter, fluff, domestic

warnings - kissing, can be read as any peter but i imagined tasm!peter :)

w.c - 800+

a/n - first marvel fic ever!!!! i hope yall like it. i was inspired by that one stardew valley scene- also i dont actually know alot about photogrpahy and darkrooms but hey you write and you learn.

You stood back from the second bedroom and sighed, a smile crossing your face as feelings of self-accomplishment and proudness rushed through you. The room was set up with two desks, bottles of processing fluids, papers, storage containers and string hung from one side of the room to the other.

Though it was a small room, your heart felt big when you looked at it. You originally scolded yourself for doing this, as Peter had insisted on the room being your office or library (he was getting tired of book stacks), but as your hard work ties in together in a picture of purpose, you mentally wipe the dust of your shoulders and hold up a trophy reading 'Best Girlfriend Ever'.

One last time, you checked to make sure the red lights worked and that everything was set in place, as Peter's nightly retirement from swinging through the city was approaching. The time that actually happened was varying night to night, but you hoped he caught you before you fell asleep and he discovered the darkroom himself.

You situated yourself on a stool facing the kitchen counter, which faced the door. An old tie was resting on the bench, as well as your phone which buzzed unanswered messages from coworkers and friends. The doorknob jiggled with the sounds of keys (he changed his ways of climbing through the window after you almost got doxxed) before the door opened. You stood, dressed in a sleeping shirt and some pyjama pants, and rushed to him. Avoiding his hello kiss unintentionally, you wrapped the tie around his head and giggled to yourself. Peter was adorned in loose jeans and a shirt with a physics joke you didnt understand, his hair messy from flying through the wind for the past four hours.

"What's going on?" His cheeks bunched in a smile, as he placed his bag down before reaching out to you blindly.

"I've got a surprise for you, your not allowed to look beforehand."

He smirked and let out a sigh, "Oh god you haven't tried to paint me again have you?"

"Nope. Something much better." You took his biceps in your hands, squeezing them in excitment and anxiety as you pulled him down the hallway.

Peter had an idea where you were going, but not why. The new-ish apartment was basically memorised by now, and by the time you stopped pulling him he assumed he was stood in front on the spare bedroom. It had been unfurnished for the six months you had been moved in there, and even if he insisted you made it your own personal space, you denied the idea immediately.

Next, he felt you fingertips brush against his cheeks and unwrap the tie from his eyes. The first thing he saw was your beaming face and your hand on the doorknob behind your back. All he wanted was to squeeze your face and place a million kisses on your face, but alas you looked too excited to even blink.

His eyes darted from your eyes to the floor under the door and unconsiously raised one eyebrow with curiosity. It was tinted red.

"Okay. Before we go in, there are things that definitly need to be added and arranged differently but that depends on how you like things. Seriously, like this is not going to be everything you need-"

Peter gently pushed you to the side and opened the doorknob, eyes still on yours, "I'm sure whatever's behind this door is-"

He was met with a darkroom. A room to accompany his imense love for photography, in his very own apartment. He didn't need to rent out a dark room anymore, or borrow time from someone else. It was right here. He could photograph to his heart's content.

The strings we are at his eye level, and they swayed slightly when he bent down to observe the whole room. It was hard at first to differentiate one object from another due to the red hue of the entire room, but nonetheless he loved it.

"Is perfect." He finished his sentence in shock.

His gaze spun to face you, your back to him as you closed the door. When you turned, your face was full of anxiety and expectance. His eyes raked your face, he ducked below a string and grabbed your face, smashing his lips to yours.

You squealed in surprise and giggled into his lips. He ripped away - hands not leaving your face - and he started rambling. "This is perfect, Y/n! Oh my gosh. This is like the best thing ever- I'm a little angry that you didn't use it for yourself- But still this is like..." His eyes swirled with adoration and love, and it almost made your legs turn into jelly.

A weight was lifted off your shoulders at his reassuring words. You let out a happy laugh, "You deserve it, I'm glad you love it."

He took one more look at the room with the biggest smile you've seen on him in a while, before turning his attention to you once again. "Oh, but I like you much more."

He kissed you hard, opening the door behind you and leading you to your bedroom.

taglist is open!!

#peter parker x reader #peter parker #spider man #peter parker x y/n #peter parker fluff #peter parker imagine #peter parker fic #peter parker x you #marvel fics #marvel fluff #mcu fandom #mcu imagine #andrew garfield #tasm!peter x reader #tasm!peter x you

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teddybeartoji · 6 months ago

Note

SO MICKEY,, I am having thoughts. I don’t read hybrid fics Usually, but I saw your puppy Satoru post and,, as a fellow piss enjoyer what are your thoughts on him with that? Something something he wants you to pee on him to mark him as yours something something he begs for it,, I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS LIKE. GOOD WITH HYBRIDS but it just sounds yeah,, I don’t know if this is a request but I trust that you will see my vision ily

PISS ENJOYERS UNITEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HI REM MY LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!

OK BUT YOU'RE SO RIGHT ABT HIM WANTING YOU TO PEE ON HIM!!!!!!!!! THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! like yes puppy!satoru likes the idea of him pissing on you to mark you up (he does it too ofc) but something about YOU marking HIM up is just sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo crazy. it makes him crazy.

he begs for it. you're laying down on your back as he grinds into you - you're still both clothed, just humping each other like dogs (hehe pun inteded). he's nipping at your neck, he's sucking on your nipples, he's just fucking licking you - he can't get enough. you see his tail wagging from the corner of your eye and fuck, you just feel so dizzy already. but then you feel something else too, a pressure in your lower tummy.

you try to push him off, mumbling quietly about needing to go to the bathroom and his eyes fucking shine. he kisses the side of your mouth with a raspy "yeah?". he doesn't budge, he literally does the opposite - he presses himself flush against you, pushing your one knee up at his hips so he can be even closer to you.

"i wan' you to do it." he whines. you feel him smile against you and you feel a bit embarrassed at the thought. does he actually want you to do it?

"wan' you to mark me yours. c'mon, please... pretty please, baby."

he whimpers into your ear and it doesn't take long for him to convice you to do it. to let go.

and when you finally do... oh my fucking god. satoru creams his pants immediately. IMMMMEDIATELY. the second he feels the warmth spreading all over you and himself, he tears his eyes from you just to stare at where the two of you are connected with a slack jaw. he pushes his hips into yours as he makes a mess in his own pants aswell, your piss mixing with his cum through the material. he's fucking elevated. he has never felt this good in his entire fucking life.

when he looks back up at you with a bashful grin and finds you trying to hide your face into the pillow below you, he nuzzles his nose at your cheek. "i'm yours now. i'm your mate now." he licks your skin, kisses your jaw - he really can't stop touching you. "i love you."

he's as affectionate as ever, possibly even more so now. he cradles your face as he gently makes you look at him. you're so warm and he feels so proud. "don't hide..."

he litters your face with sloppy kisses for a while before starting to trail down your body. the smell of you and your piss is making his head spin and he can't stop smiling. he's just so happy!

his tail swings violently behind him, his ears twitch as you squirm when he kisses your completely soaked center. he locks eyes with you and licks the material, his own dick starting to harden again.

anyway!!!! hehehhehehe puppy!satoru loves you and he loves piss and he loves it when you piss on him, it makes him feel so loved!!!!!! he will eat you out after it to show his appreciation!!!!!!!!!

#HEHEHEHEHE ILYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#AND I LOVE PUPPY!SATORU SO BAD HE'S SO CUTE AND SO DESPERATE AND SO NEEDY AND SO IN LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#yeah no holding back on the piss kink now huh lmao #anyway this was hot ngl #got myself going with my own writing #wheewwww #rem <3 #puppy!gojo #angel boy #gojo #tw piss #wtf mickey can write #gojo smut #tw hybrids

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mins-fins · 6 months ago

Text

AUDERE EST FACERE. — [Z.CL]

❝to dare is to do..❞

SYNOPSIS: where crown prince zhong chenle, forced into a marriage with a woman he doesn't like and riddled with complicated feelings, finds solace in the palace's very own medic, you.

PAIRING: zhong chenle x male!reader

GENRE: royalty au, not really modern but not really medieval time period either, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, angst, kinda humorous, prince!chenle x medic!reader, kinda forbidden relationship, ambiguous/open ending

WARNINGS: might not be accurate to medieval times, death, blood & gore, forced marriage, mentions of disease, unhealthy ways of grieving, a lot of mentions of violence

WORD COUNT: 22.7k

NOTES: woah woah woah!!! this whole fic broke a whole bunch of isa records…….. hiiii jj 😊 hi chenle stans 😊 hello nct male reader community 😊😊😊 i hope im serving the isanator nation well (consists of 2 ppl) ANYWAY this is one of the works i am genuinely most proud of because for one, it's my longest ever work, and for two, i'm just so happy with how it turned out!! this was originally meant to be like 16k words but then i got carried away and now this is here 🙁 i truly apologize for how long this is but PLEASEEE dont get bored i swear it gets good 😞😞 and i did write ambiguous ending but it does seem pretty straightforward so um… im sorry for that, this fic would've been MUCH MUCH LONGER than 22k words but i already beat my former wc record so i just cut a bunch of other unnecessary scenes 😶 alright thats enough of my yapping!! ily jj my bsf ever ty for listening to me ramble abt this endlessly in ur inbox 😊😊��

CHENLE REMEMBERS IT LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY. his little feet sneakily took him away from the huge meeting room full of intimidating adults talking about gibberish, and slowly, they lead him to a much more enjoyable place. at the time, seven year old chenle couldn't figure out why his parents needed such a big meeting room, or why all of these important people came to the castle every few months, to him, those strangers were nothing but tryhards, greedy men and women who were never pleased no matter how much they were offered.

seven year old chenle could never truly figure out why his parents insisted on having him sit around with these other important adults, listening to them talk about the economy, kingdom relations, marriage, all this stuff that isn't interesting to seven year old boys.

the young prince found his feet leading him to a place of familiar comfort, the palace's own rose garden. he could never truly explain why the air surrounding the abundance of roses ever became of comfort to him, because roses are anything but comfortable to hold, but whenever he felt like father and mothers fights were getting too aggressive, he could just come here and everything would be okay.

the gardener, a woman by the name of mrs. qian, was always sweet to chenle, much sweeter than his father usually was. her son, qian kun, is basically chenle's older brother, the older boy often comes around whenever his mothers in work, and he tells chenle stories of what goes on at the village schools, the newest gossip and adventures he's gone on with his friends.

chenle often finds himself interested in the life of a commoner, they're all just so intriguing.. he can't believe the stories most of the time, but he is homeschooled, and has been holed up in this castle for as long as he can remember, so how he can prove or debunk any of these things? he just thinks that non-royals are some of the most entertaining people he knows, they're all so hilarious.

as soon as the seven year old chenle stepped into the rose garden, a feeling of relief seeps into his body. he takes in a deep breath, and finally allowed for his shoulders to slump, much too tired of having to keep his back straight all this time.

he lets himself relax into the atmosphere, finally away from the suffocated room full of adults seemingly speaking a language he could not understand. if that's what kings and queens have to do, chenle thinks he'd rather not take the throne.

the seven year old prince allowed for his eyes to scan the garden, it's empty. well that makes sense, mrs. qian isn't in today and neither is her son, they went on a holiday. he sighs to himself, he misses kun's company, but alas, no one is around.

chenle makes his way around to a specific rose bush, it has the most roses out of the bunch. seven year old chenle used to think the rose bushes were magic, the roses always grew so quickly, one day there'd be none and the next there'd be hundreds, it was purely shocking to the young prince.

chenle, as always, began tracing the shape of the roses with his finger. he finds them pretty, as he does all flowers. it might sound like he's being basic, but roses are probably his favorite of the bunch. they're just so beautiful, and most importantly— they're sharp.

but the seven year old chenle is startled out of his rose admiring due to a shout.

"hey! don't touch those!"

the young prince furrowed his eyebrows at the words, what's wrong with touching the roses? it's not like there are garden rules or anything. when chenle turned to the source of the shout, that's when he sees the person.

you, it was you. adorable seven year old you who ran up to him as quickly as you could, you stopped as soon as you made it his way, panting like you had just run a marathon. "don't touch the roses".

the young chenle blinked, puzzled. "why can't i touch them? i'm the prince you can't tell me what to do—"

"they're sharp! you're gonna hurt yourself see?" you pointed at chenle's hand, and he looked down, eyes widening as he came across the sight. his finger was bleeding, oh that's bad. "roses have thorns, you have to be careful".

chenle had no idea who you were then, but all he knew was that you were worried. your eyes were watering, as if you were going to burst into tears at any moment, and you took a deep breath as you slowly began freaking out over the small cut on the prince's index finger. "oh uh— i didn't even notice".

"it's okay really, god i have a bandaid don't i? hold on.." you mumbled, worried as ever as you began rummaging through your pockets, trying to find a bandaid to patch up the prince with.

"it's fine it's just a small cut i.." chenle paused in between his words, clearing his throat. "who are you?"

right, you were still a stranger, chenle had no idea who you were then, for all he could know, you had broken into the palace or something. you finally stopped looking through your pocket, your face went a bright red as you faced the prince again. "um my name is y/n, i'm the—"

"y/n honey? where did you run off to?"

now chenle recognized that voice, that was the voice of the palace's sweet medic. mrs. l/n had a voice that was like honey, she was easily one of chenle's favorite staff members, not only because she would always be there to wipe his tears when he scraped his knee, but she always offered him delicious candy. "oh! there you are!"

"good afternoon mrs. l/n" chenle politely greeted, and you let out a small sigh of relief at the sight of your mother, though that look of worry was still prominent in your eyes.

"chenle, how are you doing?" she reached over to ruffle the young prince's hair, which he accepted happily, giggling at the gesture. "i'm doing good, ma'am".

"he has a cut on his finger" you muttered to her, and a small 'ah' leaves her lips as she finally realized what was going on. "i wanted to help him but i didn't have any bandaids" you seemed disappointed in yourself, as your gaze immediately lowered to the floor.

"oh sweetie, it's okay" your mother shook your shoulder, reassuring you. "just remember to call me before running off".

"i'll remember, sorry".

the young prince blinked at the sight before him, though he continued to smile at the sight of your mother. "sorry for yelling at you, your highness" you muttered in your low voice, and all chenle did was shake his head, waving you off.

"it's alright you were just trying to help" chenle replied, he finds seven year old you to be the epitome of adorable, just the cutest person in the world.

"let's get you that bandaid yeah?"

chenle nodded, you nodded, and the two of you proceeded to follow your mother out of the garden and to her office.

when chenle thinks back to this moment, the moment he first met you, he likes to compare it to an explosive, just waiting to be lit, just waiting to be set off and destroy everything. when he thinks back to the first moment he met you, chenle can't help but reminisce about it.

after your mother helped him with his cut, the two of you.. talked. you talked about things all seven year old boys talk about, and it was one of the highlights of chenle's day, though he kept trying to make you drop the formalities and call him by his first name, you vehemently disagreed.

the two of you became friends (and just chenle calling the two of you "friends" was enough to almost send seven year old you into cardiac arrest), a royal and a commoner, but chenle never saw it that way, chenle has never seen it that way. a friend is a friend, regardless of status or their economic situation. yes chenle is at a great advantage, being the prince of the kingdom you lived in, but he never held it over you, he isn't like that.

you were— are a special friend to chenle. sometimes, it feels like the two of you have known each other your whole lives. you mean much more to him than he actually lets slip, but he'll never let that be known, even under kun's watchful eye and jisung's insistence on knowing if you two really are just "friends".

chenle spends a lot of time thinking about the day you two first met, it's like a looping episode of a show in his head.

"chenle? did you even hear me?"

no response.

a grunt of frustration is sounded in the room, but the prince doesn't react, much too busy zoned out as a specific memory replays in his head for the seventh time that hour.

"chenle! pay attention!"

the slam of a hand against the table, paired with the loud shout is enough to snap the now twenty one year old crown prince out of his little dazed memory recalling session. chenle startles, but he quickly lets his face relax, sighing as he rejoins the conversation he'd previously zoned out on. "what?"

chenle's mother pinches the bridge of her nose, an exasperated sigh escaping her lips. "marriage, chenle, that's what were talking about".

oh god, chenle resists the urge to groan. he isn't exactly on board with this whole marriage thing, but then again, he has no other choice, his father is gone and he's next in line for the throne, this is how it goes for each royal family, he should just suck it up and deal with it head on. "yeah yeah, sorry, i didn't sleep much last night".

it's not exactly a lie, these days usually have chenle plagued with some sort of sleeplessness, but that isn't the main reason he was zoned out, obviously. "alright.. anyway, i talked with the zhu's, we agreed that you and their daughter, yinuo, are to marry".

chenle recognizes the family name, unfortunately, he doesn't exactly recognize their daughter. "you're marrying me off to a stranger? what about the girls i actually know, suyin? jia? mingxia? they're actually my friends, i'd be much more comfortable with them than a princess i've never met".

"marriage doesn't work like that, chenle" the words are enough to make chenle grit his teeth, he bites his tongue, though. "all you have to do is merely get along with her enough that it looks like you're in love at the wedding, rule the kingdom, and have children".

chenle raises an eyebrow, rocking back and forth in his chair. "that sounds a tad bit dystopian, mother".

the older woman does nothing but narrow her eyes at chenle, a look he's become used to receiving from her at this point. "it's just how everything goes, le, i don't know what to tell you".

chenle bites his inner cheek, looking everywhere else in the room. he always knew marriage was a custom, if not out of true love, it would be out of convenience. chenle had been given so much time to go find a woman to fall in love with, but he didn't find it that easy, maybe he just has too many requirements when it comes to love. he doesn't exactly support the whole thing about creating new heirs, but he was born into this family for this reason, what is the point of being a king if not sacrificing his freedom for the happiness of others?

chenle has always known that he wouldn't exactly enjoy this part of his life, and his father just had to go early, he is very much upset, but he doesn't disclose those feelings to anyone. after his long minutes of silence, chenle stands up from the table, again facing his mother. "yes yes i get it, mother" he mutters, making his way over to his mother and pressing a kiss to her cheek, realizing that she was trembling in anxiousness. "don't worry about me, i'll be fine".

but would he really? chenle can't exactly determine that.

"HOW DID YOUR LITTLE MARRIAGE CONVERSATION GO?" QIAN KUN cannot contain his interest, immediately finding chenle and inquiring about his upcoming marriage. chenle can always go to kun to talk about things troubling his mind, the older is a person of solace for him, a comfort in this big castle that seems to be swallowing him whole. chenle is glad he has kun, even with how much he does tease him, he's truly grateful for the older. "whose the lucky lady?" the words are enough to get a groan out of chenle, who shoved his nose into his book.

"zhu yinuo".

kun's eyes widen, clearly he recognizes that name. "of azerene?"

chenle clicks his tongue, not sparing the older a glance. "yes, that one".

the older male hums, merely glancing at the crown prince. "why do you sound so uninterested? marriage should be a fun topic for you".

his teasing tone doesn't breeze past chenle, but the younger doesn't comment on it, focusing on the topic of the novel in his hands. "not when it's with a women i don't know, i'm just being placed into a union with a stranger, a stranger who i'm then going to have make babies with so that the treasurable zhong family lives on for generations and generations".

"well isn't that the whole point of royal families, though?" kun asks absentmindedly, it seems he meant to say that in his head, seeing as how he slaps a hand over his mouth immediately after the question escapes his lips, but chenle doesn't mind, getting offended over such a question is the last of his worries. "..sorry".

"it's alright" chenle responds, his voice a low echo in the expanse of a room. "it's how most things go anyway, i should know better than to question it".

"i just don't think it's fair" chenle only gives a mere hum, though he notices kun's tone of concern. "yeah you're supposed to create heirs at the end of the day, but not even with someone you love?"

"you ask too many questions".

kun scoffs, turning to chenle with a look of betrayal in his eyes. "i'm just saying what your thinking, chenle, i worry about you".

chenle, who sighs silently, finally closes his book and gives the older an indistinguishable look. "you don't have to worry about me, i'll be fine, i always am".

a lie, one as clear as day too. chenle doesn't exactly know how to explain what he feels, sometimes it feels like everything is bubbling up slowly, closing in on him and suffocating him to death. he assumes it's normal to feel like this, especially with people who don't talk about how they feel, but chenle doesn't know how to bring it up to people without making everything weird.

it's all just complicated.

chenle finally stands up, running a hand through his hair and folding the page of his book as to not lose his page. he makes his way over to kun, whose mindlessly folding his own clothes as he admires the butterfly tank before him.

the butterflies were an installment chenle begged for his father to get for him after he read a book on metamorphosis once, it was a gift for his twelfth birthday, though he wanted a room to be a whole conservatory for him, his father said that would be "unnecessary" (and as an adult, chenle is inclined to agree with that statement). he finds the winged beings to be beautiful, a kind of striking that only specific animals can replicate.

yes, chenle is a huge fan of butterflies, his love for them runs deep. he lightly taps the glass encasing the creatures with his nail, gaze laser focused on the flying insects and their bright colored wings.

"you say that all the time, but i can never truly tell if you are" kun finally responds after letting his answer wither in the silence of the room, his eyes wander over to chenle, who does nothing but admire the trapped butterflies before him.

the words get a small smile out of chenle, but he's not sure why, though they do make him smile. "i am fine, there's no need to look in further".

"you know me, i'm always going to look further".

chenle allows for himself to chuckle at the response. he's right about that.

he stares at the butterflies encased in the glass box, practically trapped against their own will. his mind wanders, the butterflies remind him of something very familiar.

but he pretends to have no idea what it is.

CHENLE OFTEN FINDS HIMSELF SLEEPLESS THESE DAYS. after the first two hours of insomnia took over, the crown prince decided to entertain himself by reading that book he's left off at earlier that day, but by the time he looked at the clock again, two more hours had passed, and he had finished the book which he once thought would enthrall him until his body gave into it's exhaustion. he lets his arm fall, placing the copy of strange case of dr. jekyll and mr. hyde onto his desk. he's still not tired, for some unknown reason.

maybe another book will do the trick, chenle's mind tells him, and he agrees with that statement enough that he swings out of his bed and his feet grace the cold floor. it's cold, it's always cold at night, but chenle thinks it's always extra cold at night on purpose.

the crown prince tries his best to shake off the freezing temperature of the room, slipping on a fuzzy sweater and grabbing the lamp from his desk. if sleep isn't going to come him, he could at least spend some of the night in the library, it'll be a good way to pass time.

the library is a nice place of comfort, chenle has always been able to relax his mind the most when he's reading. reading is one of the easiest hobbies to have, because you're not tiring yourself out, but your also doing something fun (but chenle has learned that some people don't really describe reading as their idea of 'fun').

when chenle was younger, reading was really all he did. he was homeschooled, so the most lessons he got were three a day, mother and father never cared about what he had to tell them, dismissing his words as just idiotic child talk. no one ever gave him the time of day if they weren't forced to, so chenle quickly found comfort in the many books which littered the library.

by the time chenle was fourteen, he had already read most of the books in the library, and that includes the unnecessarily huge dictionary. he could almost always be found in the library if not in his room or the rose garden, immersing himself in another world of fiction or nonfiction.

the library is basically his second home, he's there all the time, engrossed in the literature which is all he can see.

the constant creaking of the old structure is all chenle can hear as he makes his way over to the library. at one in the morning, the palace is truly creepy, like one of those haunted buildings full of spirits that suddenly scare you in the night.

now, chenle isn't one to believe in the supernatural, but some of these nightly events in the castle truly can't be explained away. sometimes, he almost gives in to believing all of stories about paranormal activity happening in the castle, something about an old king going haywire and murdering his whole entire family.

father and mother would tell him the stories to scare him out of staying up late, saying that old king chen was gonna come out of the walls late at night and scare him if he ever tried to roam the palace halls past his bedtimes.

but chenle's an adult now, much too grown to be believing in some make believe ghost stories.

back to his mission of getting to the library with nothing but his tiny lamp, chenle sighs in the darkness of the empty halls, his sigh seemingly echoing in the silence and bouncing off the walls. he pauses to observe his barely lit surroundings, and he feels his stomach drop when he hears the sound of faint footsteps across the hall.

who else could be awake at this time?

"hello?"

chenle pauses again as he listens to the greeting. he recognizes that voice, it's you, chenle thinks he could recognize your voice from miles away. "y/n?" he calls out, he doesn't mean to do that, he just really wanted to say your name, is that such a crime? he doesn't think it is.

when you finally come into his like of vision, chenle lets out a sigh of relief, the pit in his stomach will hopefully go away now. for some reason, he feels much more safe with you here. "oh god you scared me ch— your highness".

ah, it's still the same, despite your long friendship, you still don't usually address chenle by his name. you always say it's because you have to "respect his title", but chenle doesn't really like it. he likes it more when you call him by his first name, even if it is disrespectful for a commoner to do such a thing.

chenle never cares when it's with you.

"you scared me" chenle emphasizes, taking in a deep breath. "my apologies".

"it's fine, uh.. why are you awake exactly?" you ask, though chenle wanted to ask you that, it seems you beat him to it. how funny. "if you don't mind me asking of course".

of course, all you ever really do is look after people, you take after your mother, it's evident to chenle that being a medic was your calling. "oh i can't sleep, i'm heading to the library to get a book that'll hopefully tire me".

you chuckle at the words, your laughter is pretty, chenle notes. "of course, you're always in that library, seems you spend most of your time reading" chenle laughs at your tone of voice, your teasing him, you talk like how your mother used to talk about him when you were children.

"reading is..fun".

those words seem to confuse you, and you blink, lightly tilting your head to the side. "i have never heard someone describe reading as fun, but i guess it makes sense for you".

chenle wants to ask about the meaning of those words, because they seem to have so many layers, but you begin again before he can even try to ask. "i heard about your new marriage" there's a certain distaste in your voice chenle can't exactly pinpoint. "congratulations".

chenle allows for himself to frown, his stomach curling in an uncomfortable way at just the thought of his new marriage. he doesn't want to talk about it, because it's just going to make him upset. "oh yeah it's quiet.. exciting news".

you pick up on his tone of disgust, his gritted teeth, and the way his eyes quickly cast around the room, but you stay silent. "anyway, i should be heading to the library, find a nice book, have any recommendations?"

you blink at the sudden question, scouring your mind for books you think the crown prince might be charmed by. "frenchman's creek by daphne du maurier".

chenle raises an eyebrow. "that's in the library?"

"yeah i uh— i read it a couple weeks ago, it was amazing" you mutter, trying to keep eye contact with the prince who was clearly trying to not look you in the eye. "i think you'll like it, i mean— i hope you do".

chenle hums, noting down your recommendation in his mind. "i'll make sure to read it then, thank you y/n, good night".

your eyes widen as you realize that it is indeed the middle of the night, and your conversation has to end eventually. "right right, it's no problem, good night your highness".

chenle frowns again at the sound of his title escaping your lips, but he doesn't say anything, just gives you a small smile and walks past you and towards the library.

he doesn't see you watch him walk away, he's much too busy thinking about how much he wants you to say his name.

"ARE YOU ALRIGHT? YOU LOOK TIRED" THE WORRYING tone in his fiancée's voice doesn't breeze past chenle, but he pays it no mind, ignoring the question. yinuo blinks, clearly expecting the silence, chenle's mother did say he's prone to giving people the "cold shoulder". she sighs, reaching out to touch his shoulder but immediately pulling back, he probably wouldn't like that. "chenle.."

"i'm fine" chenle replies faster than he intends, he brushes off any dust that might be on his shoulder and rubs his right eye. "i just lost a few hours of sleep that's all" he states rather unconvincingly, but yinuo doesn't comment more, just sighs again.

chenle holds out his arm, which the princess quickly links with hers, an indescribable emotion in his eyes. "let's just get this over with.." he shakes his head, feeling a hand of support from his future wife run up and down his back. "the faster we get through with this the faster we both get out of here".

yinuo is happy to know chenle doesn't despise her, he's just not comfortable with her, and chenle, he really is trying his best, he might be coming off as rude, but he just isn't on board with this whole thing. "they're all so extra, making us do this.."

"right, the least they could do is make us enter at different times but no, we have to do this walk in together like were walking down the aisle".

chenle glances down at their linked arms, letting a sigh escape his lips as the two of them finally exit the room they had been put into together. starting their way off to the meeting room down the hall, chenle allows for his mind to wander, he can't be focused on his fiancée or upcoming marriage, he's much too focused on other things.

you, namely.

the crown prince can't focus on what's going on when the only thing prominent in his mind is you. yeah your exchange last night was a short one, but it was also a memorable one. after weeks of going back and forth with things that just didn't make sense, and a mind that was in a frenzy, just talking to you in the middle of the night was enough to relax chenle.

you two haven't been able to talk in the past few weeks.. evidently, chenle is a prince to be king who has to focus on ruling a kingdom and your a medic who has to focus on taking care of others. you two have no time to be friends now that you're adults, it doesn't help that chenle now has all this added pressure on him, and you clearly feel like he's become a stranger.

chenle guesses the.. power imbalance is what's driving this. he's apart of the royal family, a crown prince, set to take the crown and become king, your a commoner, someone who lives just above the poverty line, the only reason you're able to stay afloat is because you took up your mothers position as the palace's medic, but even then, you can almost barely take care of her.

chenle hates thinking about it, because the two of you used to be so close, an unbreakable pair, two boys who couldn't be separated even with the differences between you two. your ranks in society never bothered you, never disturbed your friendship, never disturbed you as a pair, it never mattered. he often finds himself reminiscing on those times, the times where he could see you without his mind listing everything he had to do after that.

"chenle? are you listening?"

chenle blinks out of his daze, arm still linked with yinuo's as he gazes at his future father in law. he pretends to not see the look of worry the woman on his arm sends him, clearing his throat. "yeah, my apologies".

"uh huh, my regards to you, i know the sudden.. passing of the king was hard on you, and we hope your grieving well".

so your throwing your daughter at me, how great. chenle laughs in his mind, tongue poking through his inner cheek, he already knew he wasn't going to like where this was going. "now, about the marriage—"

chenle tunes him out easily, letting out a silent sigh which his mother hears, sending him a glare from across the room as the breath escapes his lips. he doesn't pay any mind to the look from his mother, though he knows she's quickly getting annoyed with how he isn't paying attention.

the discussion is exactly how chenle thought it'd be, the parents discuss everything and just assume their children agree from the get go, they don't even bother asking them their thoughts, or even how they felt, they just threw them into this like they were some baby making machines.

chenle guesses it's just how the cycle goes, his parents had to go through this, and so did their parents before them, and their parents before them, and so on. this is how things work, chenle can't run away from his fate, even with how much he opposes this arrangement.

"and for children.." just the mention of children is enough to make both chenle and yinuo tense, but they both play it off as the cold of the room making them flinch. "you can decide how many you want, but more than one would be nice, and especially a son would be nice".

of course, chenle sings in his head. he wonders how much they'll have to drill that into their heads, some stupid importance men have or something. he glances at his fiancée, whose trembling in her place beside him. he places a gentle hand on her back. "it's alright, calm down" he whispers enough so that she can hear it over the chatter of her father and mother.

"this is not fun".

"yeah, tell me about it" the crown prince grits his teeth, his comment eliciting a small laugh out of the woman beside him. he has to admit, he does enjoy her company.

"ah, i see you two are getting along!"

upon hearing the remark, the two pause, an awkward silence spreading between them. they exchange a small glance before chenle clears his throat, speaking up. "yeah um.. this was a nice meeting, we can continue chatting about the marriage another time, we thank you for coming, the guards will escort you out".

though chenle smiles at his future in laws, he feels nothing but nauseous the whole time.

"WHERE ARE YOU HEADING, YOUR HIGHNESS?" THE QUESTION from kun isn't enough to make chenle stop in his tracks, and he continues his way down the hall. kun blinks as the younger ignores him, furrowing his eyebrows. he then lets out a sigh, letting his hands drop as his eyes stay pointed at the crown prince. "chenle? where are you going?" chenle still doesn't stop, but he seems to acknowledge the older this time.

"to the rose garden" he responds quickly, only getting another eyebrow furrow from the older. he finally stops, turning towards the other with a look that kun cannot exactly pinpoint at the current moment. "if you need me, i'll be there".

"is something wrong?"

chenle takes in a breath, gritting his teeth. curse qian kun for being so caring, curse him for always knowing when something's up. he's quick to shake his head, mustering the fakest of fake smiles. "nothing's wrong! i just need fresh air!"

kun blinks, totally not buying that horrible lie, but he doesn't say anything about it, just mutters a small "okay" and lets chenle be on his way. chenle didn't mean to lie to kun, he just doesn't know how to explain his feelings at the current moment.

so, he gives the older a small smile, turning on his heel and making a beeline towards the titular rose garden, the one that's given him so much comfort over these past few years. he doesn't know why just the presence of everyone in that room was enough to make him want to throw up, but his anxieties wouldn't settle, he can't bear to stay inside this castle much longer.

chenle has no idea why the feeling of suffocation is constantly overtaking him these days, but the walls are slowly pushing in on him, leaving him breathless and nothing more than a weak human vessel.

when chenle does finally step outside, met by a plethora of roses and the smell of pollen in the air, the pit in his stomach doesn't settle. instead of letting out a sigh of relief, he pauses in his tracks, allowing for his eyes to roam the area he'd grown to love as a child.

chenle sighs, not of relief, but sighs with another indescribable feeling he can't explain, walking up to a display of white roses. he knows they're sharp, your old warnings flash in his head as he stares at the pretty flowers before him, tracing them with his fingers as he's always done when in the rose garden.

"don't hurt yourself again, your highness".

it's when chenle hears you that he immediately jumps, but then he relaxes, slowly. what were the odds of this happening again? you seem to read his mind, because you chuckle at the expression which graces his features. chenle raises an eyebrow, a humored smile coming to his face. "you sure you actually have bandaids this time?"

the reference makes you snicker, looking down at the floor as you turn away from your childhood friend. you rummage through your pocket, finally pulling out a bandaid, one which wasn't present when you were seven and yelling for chenle to not touch the roses. "there you go, now you won't cut your finger".

for once today, chenle suddenly feels relaxed, it's always with you, isn't it? his mind notes that down, he'll remember it for later. he takes the bandaid from you, a smile coming to his face as the nostalgia settles on him. "thank you, you're always looking after everyone, you sure know how to do your job".

the words make you pause, but you don't look at chenle as you think of a response, instead turning to the white roses displayed in front of you. you lightly poke them, letting out a small hum of affirmation. "well, what kind of medic would i be if i didn't look out for others? i'd be an idiot to ever let our highness get hurt".

chenle's lips turn up, and he laughs in just the slightest, but he isn't sure why he laughs. there's just something about you that makes chenle feel at ease, you calm his worries without even having to do anything, it's not like he's even telling you about these worries either, but the anxiety he once felt seems to be nothing now.

spending time with you calms chenle, he wants to preserve as much of this time as possible.

"i started reading your recommendation" chenle suddenly blurts out, wanting to continue a conversation with you. he doesn't know how limited your time will be. "frenchman's creek.. i like it so far, it's an interesting choice, though".

you raise an eyebrow. "why's that?"

"i didn't peg you for an enjoyer of pirate romances" chenle shrugs, and he quickly looks away, not wanting to stare at you for too long, because he doesn't think he'd be able to look away.

"well i don't like limiting my interests to one genre, you'd know about that".

chenle blinks, the words striking him in a way only the words you say can. how do you always manage to do that? it's not really the words, it's just how you say them, even if you don't make your intentions clear, chenle always knows what you mean. "it always manages to surprise me, i'm not sure what's gonna happen next".

you click your tongue, a small smile coming to your face. "just so you know, it doesn't have a happy ending".

chenle gasps, overdramatizing the volume of his voice. "you're giving me spoilers? in the rose garden?" his words make you snicker, and you pick a white rose from the bush, unfazed by the thorns which slowly sink into your fingers.

"i didn't spoil anything specific" you finally turn back to chenle, twirling the rose between your fingers. "just told how it was gonna end up.." you mutter, stepping closer to chenle unconsciously. you look at up, suddenly anxious as ever. "may i?" you ask, motioning towards the rose with your eyes.

chenle blinks, his mind going blank for a few seconds. what do you want to do exactly? he gazes at your hands fidgeting on the stem of the flower, and the pieces slowly put themselves together in his brain. are you going to..? "i— yes, sure.."

you raise an eyebrow, not really trusting the seemingly hesitant consent chenle had given, but he clears his throat, reiterating it for you; "yes, you can".

upon hearing the answer, you step closer once again, placing the rose into his hair, your careful to not hurt chenle, and especially careful because you don't want the stem to get tangled in chenle's hair. "i.. i thought it'd look nice on you, and it does, you look— you look great".

chenle blinks, a sudden red hue coloring his cheeks. it's such a basic compliment, one he's been given many times by other people, but it feels different coming from you.

it's always different when it's with you.

chenle clears his throat, unable to prevent a smile from crossing his face. you don't look at him anymore, looking away to prevent yourself from burning up, but you allow for a smile to come to your face as you think about the action you just performed.

you have no idea why you're so giddy about this.

"oh um.." chenle pauses, laughing awkwardly. "thank you, that's very sweet".

"oh it's no problem i just— i uh, it compliments your hair".

chenle hums, looking down at the floor. he hopes you don't see his face burning, and you hope he doesn't see your face burning, it's such a hilarious thing, but you both are much too flustered to find your current circumstances amusing. "you have an eye for those things too?"

"well i have an eye for many things".

i can see that, chenle doesn't say that, though, just smiles at you. you only give him a mere glance, and a small smile yourself. "it was nice seeing you, ch— your highness" you notice how your correction makes chenle frown, but you continue. "i'll be off now, have a good day".

chenle only frowns again when he realizes your time together is over, he wants to continue the conversation, wants to try to use an excuse, wants to use his power to order you to stay, but he doesn't give into the desires he wants so badly, just nods. "oh uh, don't let me keep you here".

you chuckle. "i wouldn't really mind if you did".

the words have an unspoken affect on chenle, an affect that he can't exactly explain, but he can feel. he can feel it in the way his ears heat up and his stomach flips. "alright then, bye y/n".

"bye".

and as chenle watches you leave, the feeling of anxiety he'd entered the garden with seemed to wither away, dissolving away like it was nothing.

he thinks about your 'bye' for hours, unable to get the sound of your voice out of his bed.

"HOW HAVE YOU BEEN THESE DAYS?" CHENLE doesn't answer immediately, as always these days. he skims the row of books before him, fidgeting with the one in his hands. he's not ignoring his friend, he's just focused on other things. "fine" he responds, grunting as he lightly struggles to pull the book from the shelf, but he doesn't ask for help. he doesn't need help. "what's with that look?"

park jisung blinks at his longtime friend, raising a suspicious eyebrow at him. "you don't look fine".

chenle scoffs, suddenly feeling super defensive. he doesn't look at jisung anymore, the other is going to begin to annoy him if he keeps staring at him. "what do you know about looking fine?"

he hears jisung's sigh of defeat. "well i'm just concerned for you, we haven't talked in a while, you've been so busy preparing for your coronation and.. marriage".

chenle resists the urge to roll his eyes. "my coronation isn't for another three months, preparations have all been lackluster".

"and the marriage?"

chenle snaps his head towards jisung, giving him an indescribable look. jisung is quick to shut his mouth, not wanting to face chenle's terrifying wrath. the older prince glares dangerously at the younger, who chuckles awkwardly and scratches his hand. he doesn't have to say anything, but jisung knows he should probably change the subject.

"uh.. um, are you still friends with that medic kid?"

now that is a question chenle wasn't expecting. a question about you? when he snaps his head over at jisung for the second time, the younger almost freezes, noticing the pointed look in his eyes. "what?"

"y/n, the medic kid!" jisung reiterates, clearly thinking the issue is that chenle didn't hear him the first time. "his mom used to work here, right? is he still around?"

chenle narrows his eyes, puzzled at where jisung is trying to go with this.. question. he'd been dealt with a fair amount of teasing from his friend because of how much closer the two of you seemed, jisung often questioned how much of a "friend" you really were to chenle, but the older would always combat it with a glare and snappy insult as a response.

"yes he's still around.. he took over mrs. l/n's position".

jisung blinks dumbly. "oh? what happened to her?"

just the question is enough to put a sour taste in chenle's mouth. "she just couldn't go on any longer one day, she retired a few years ago and he took over her position".

"you don't know what happened to her?"

"y/n didn't tell me anything specific" chenle is beginning to get annoyed. he knows it's in jisung's nature to be curious like this but god, if he wanted to know these things so bad he could've just asked you. "just go ask him if you're so curious".

he hears a small "hmph" sound from jisung before the younger prince sounds again. "i will then! y/n! hey!"

chenle didn't actually think you'd be passing by the library at that exact moment, but you were. you pause, backtracking as you look into the library, blinking at the jumping prince before you. "uh— hi, your highness, what do you need me for?"

jisung is quick to chuckle, waving off your use of formalities. "please, there's no need to be so formal, were friends after all!"

you only respond with a small smile, giving chenle a mere glance. "i'm just doing what i'm supposed to, i can't call you by your name.."

"well right now, you're going to call me by my name" jisung demands, which makes you snicker. he really hasn't changed. you look down at the floor, hands picking at your nails. "your allowed to, right chenle?"

chenle was not expecting to be included in this conversation. is jisung reading his mind or something? how could he seem to tell exactly what chenle wanted to say? he feels his face heat up, but he isn't exactly sure why it does that. "i mean— yeah, yes, were friends".

jisung then turns back to you, a clear 'see?' expression on his face as he smiles in victory at chenle proving him right. you chuckle at chenle's response, smiling again, but it's much more directed at chenle this time. "fine then, jisung, what do you need me for?"

jisung then walks towards you, placing a hand on your shoulder (a hand chenle is suddenly laser focused on) almost as if to reassure you. "how have you been?"

your eyebrows furrow. it's not a weird question to ask, you just weren't expecting for him to ask a question. you share another confused glance with chenle, then snickering lightly. "fine.. i uh— i've just been trying my best, as always".

jisung hums, his finger going up to caress your cheek lightly, a finger which chenle again laser focuses on, he can't help but narrow his eyes at jisung, wondering what the hell is he doing?

"uh huh, and how's your mother?"

at the mere mention of your mother, you seem to go still, pausing as you let jisung's question simmer into the air. you try your best to collect your words, opening your mouth to speak, but then you close it, as if wanting to keep your thoughts to yourself.

chenle picks up on your sudden silence, as if he could feel your heightened anxieties, he speaks up; "are you alright, y/n?" he asks, concern lacing his tone as he sees the worry in your eyes as you think about your mother.

you snap out of your little daze, clearing your throat as you nod. "yeah yeah, i uh— i'm fine, mom is.. she's doing okay".

"okay?"

"she's sick" you blurt quickly, fingers fidgeting at shirt collar. "but she's doing much better now, i'm taking care of her and everything.." you look away from the two royals, scratching your cheek out of habit.

"oh, oh my god i didn't know she was sick" jisung realizes how awkward he made the situation. "um, i wish her the best".

chenle doesn't say anything, he sees the way you glance around the room, desperately trying to think about everything else. "yeah, tell her i said hi" he states immediately, and you finally stop looking around the room to look at chenle, he notices that look in your eyes, the one where it seems like your about to cry, but you're holding in your tears.

even with all that, you smile at chenle, as if his words had healed you in some way. "i'll make sure to do that, i uh.. i have to go now, i don't want for anyone to die while i stand here".

jisung's eyes widen, and he gasps. "right! go go, you have a job to do, sorry for holding you up" you dismiss his words with a wave, jisung is still so cute, as cute as he was when you were children.

"it's fine really, you actually kind of made my day".

"well i'm happy that i could!"

you smile again at jisung, then smile lightly at chenle, who almost wants to jump towards you and trap you in a tight hug. "thank you, your hi— jisung" you quickly correct yourself, clearing your throat. "i'll see you some other time, and you chenle, i'll see you later".

chenle allows for himself to go red at the words, what do you mean by later? he tries his best to register the words, and the fact that you just called him by his name after what seems like forever, but he doesn't say anything, even though he feels jisung's gaze burning holes into his head. "later? yeah, later".

chenle has no idea why he agreed.

it's you, that's why he agreed.

WHEN CHENLE FINDS HIMSELF SLEEPLESS AGAIN that very night, he doesn't even think before raising out of his bed and deciding he was going to go to the library. he stares at the copy of frenchman's creek on his desk, mind immediately flashing with thoughts of you. he feels the structure of the book cover with his finger, blinking as he weighs his options for a moment. he could go back to sleep, but he could also go to the library and entertain himself with more literature.

"i already got up anyway.." chenle mutters to himself, grabbing the book on his desk and the situated lamp on his desk. he doesn't mind the chills which course through his body, though it's cold, the cold is no longer a bother to him, he's much too busy thinking about books (and you) anyway..

when chenle leaves his room, he notices the halls aren't as dark as they were the other time he walked them when he went to the library the other night. he blinks into the halls, the air practically pushing against him the moment he leaves his room. chenle allows for himself to let out a weary breath, no one is around to watch him be vulnerable anyway.

as he steps out of his room, the floor of the old structure creaking under his feet, he feels a breeze of cold air rush past him, but for some unknown reason, he doesn't shiver.

chenle doesn't allow for himself to stand by and simply breath any longer, so, he takes himself down the hallway, his feet leading him to his familiar place of solace (well second most at least). he notices how the hallway seems to be more lit, he could see torches as he passed through the long corridors, eyes trained on the paintings which situated themselves on the walls.

there have always been paintings decorating the walls, paintings which dictate the many generations of the zhong family. chenle watched as a kid as an artist was appointed to paint him, father, and mother, a new painting to place on the timeline of the zhong dynasty which would extend across the entire palace.

as chenle spends more time thinking about it, it dawns on him, he's going to be displayed on the wall in a painting one day as the king. one day he's going to have to sit down with yinuo and their inevitable child as an artist uses several colors on a canvas to create a painting of the next zhong generation, and his eventual child is going to have to walk past it every time they make it through this expanse of a hallway.

chenle used to enjoy staring at the paintings, used to love watching the process of paintings being created, but now, with father gone, chenle can't bring himself to glance at the painting situated on the wall without feeling nauseous. every time he tries to look at it, a silent breath has to escape his lips, or else he feels like he's going to collapse onto the floor.

he developed a habit of speed walking past the final portrait in the hallway after fathers passing, he could never look at his face again after having to watch the life slowly fade away from his eyes. he can't even look at a photograph of his father anymore without wanting to throw up everywhere.

when chenle makes it to the library, having walked very fast past the last painting in the hallway, he pushes open the doors immediately, wanting so badly to escape the suffocating hallway.

when chenle does make it into the room, he's quick to close the door behind him, but he startles when he notices that someone else is in the room. he blinks and narrows his eyes at the figure in the room, then, he relaxes as he quickly realizes who it is.

it's you.

chenle feels himself calm in just the slightest upon knowing it's you in the room and not some other staff member. it's not that chenle has anything against the other staff, it's just.. it's different with you.

how many times does his mind have to conjure that up as an excuse?

chenle ignores the reprimanding voice, it's one he vaguely recognizes, it's not his voice, it's a distant voice that he thinks he could recognize if he focused hard enough.

but he can't, because you notice him, seemingly reading his thoughts as you turn back to make eye contact with the crown prince. "hi".

"hi" chenle replies easily, it's awkward, of course it's awkward, it's the middle of the night. his eyes dart away from yours, immediately scouring the library. you allow for yourself to snicker at his lack of attention on you, and he notices, now staring dead at you. "what?"

"nothing nothing" you mutter, dismissing it with a wave of your hand. chenle wants to ask about it, but he doesn't, just looks down at the floor. "how was it?"

"huh?"

"the book" you clarify, glancing down at the copy of frenchman's creek chenle has in his hands. chenle quickly feels his face heat up, of course you were referring to the book, what else would you be talking about? the air in the room? his walk down the halls? how he's doing? you patiently wait for his answer, flipping through a book in your hands as you let out a sigh.

"oh uh— it's a surprise, that's for sure, i didn't expect to enjoy it as much as i did, i didn't enjoy the ending, though".

you raise an eyebrow, but a smile comes to your face. "why not?"

chenle finally unfreezes and steps closer to you, the book tucked in his arms as he stands beside you, your shoulders lightly brushing against each other. your eyes finally gaze over at his, and when the two of you make eye contact, it's brief. chenle blinks, and he allows for his lips to turn up, he thinks you look very pretty in this moment, the lighting of the library emphasizing your features.

beautiful, he's beautiful, chenle, a voice sings in his head, a voice which is, again, familiar, but he can't exactly determine who it is.

"i wanted dona and jean to get their happy ending, i was rooting for them".

you hum, seemingly expecting that answer, your eyes shift towards the shelf before you, focused on the books which litter it. "well, i like to think it's realistic, it's not often that people get their happy endings, even if they do deserve it".

chenle takes in your words, it seems like such a you thing to say. "i would've preferred if they did have a happy ending, though, it's why i read fiction in the first place".

"you read fiction because..?"

"it's like an escape from reality".

the words make you pause, and for a second, chenle thinks he must've said something wrong, he can't read the look on your face. he blinks up at you, your silence taking him off guard. "i mean, i guess that makes sense".

you seem to want to say something else, you seem to have a lot of thoughts on your mind, but you don't disclose any of them, just smile. "so, did you like the book?..your highness".

you hesitated before saying it, and chenle knows you wanted to say his name, but you stopped yourself, as always. he feels his gut curl in an uncomfortable way, and he clears his throat.

"y/n?"

"yes?"

chenle takes a deep breath. "were friends" he states immediately, and he notices the way you begin to avoid his eyes, looking everywhere but at him. "were friends, we've known each other since we were seven, you can call me by my name".

the truthful statement makes you pause, and you begin to scour your mind for excuses. "i can't call you by your name, your a noble and i'm a—"

"that's an order".

your mouth closes immediately, you can't argue with that, you can't really argue with anything chenle says. chenle seems pleased by his victory, a small smile showing on his face. you quickly scoff, turning your head away from your childhood friend. "of course you can just do that".

"i just.. it doesn't matter if you work here, your my friend, you can call me by my name".

"alright then, your— chenle, did you like the book?"

chenle chuckles lightly, oh he loves the way you say his name. he remembers when you were younger, you'd always pronounce his name wrong, it frustrated you so much that you would just call him 'le' instead of his full name.

"i did, it was an enjoyable book, the plot made me crave more, i just.. i can't believe it ended like that".

"your still mad about it?"

"yes i'm mad about it! i need my happy ending for my pirate love story!"

you giggle at his words, you giggle, chenle can't believe it. he just made you giggle, in the dead of night, in the palace library, he made you giggle. you take the book away from his hands, placing it back between the other books in the romance section. "sadly, most love stories don't end that way".

chenle sighs, clicking his tongue. "i hate when that happens, i'd like to have just a little hope that true love actually works in the end.."

you chuckle again, shaking your head. "i never thought you'd be a fan of happy endings and stuff like that".

chenle raises an eyebrow, puzzled by the words. "why's that?" he asks, sounding just the slightest bit offended at the statement. you blink, and he guesses that you notice his tone of offense. you find it humorous, and chenle furrows his eyebrows this time.

"i don't know, i guess you struck me as the kind of person who'd enjoy bittersweet endings, you know, you seem to enjoy tragic love stories".

"i do enjoy tragic love stories" chenle makes sure to emphasize his point, and he quickly looks away from you. "but i also like when they have good endings, sometimes, love stories need their happy endings".

"that's cute" you comment, and chenle allows for a smile to come to his face. you didn't call him cute, per se, but it's still enough to make his cheeks go red. he should not be flustered, that's ridiculous, that's— he can't be flustered.

you don't mind his silence, instead walking over to another shelf to see what other books are there. chenle pokes his tongue against his inner cheek, watching you intently. the red dusting his cheeks doesn't go away, it just seems to amplify as you have your back towards him. "it's cute?"

"yeah, i can see where you're coming from, not all love stories need to be.. realistic, if it makes you feel better when the lovers have a happy ending, than who am i to judge?"

chenle rocks back and forth on his heels, letting out a small hum at your words. "so you're the kind of guy who enjoys tragic love stories with horrible endings?"

"on most occasions, yes".

you seem to finally find a book that you'll enjoy, because you pick one from the shelf and turn back to chenle. "so how are you feeling?"

"what?"

you merely glance at chenle, than glance back down at the book in your hands and read the synopsis on the back of it. "how are you feeling these days? you have a lot of new things being stacked on you now, you must be stressed out".

chenle allows for his jaw to drop in just the slightest, it's not like people don't ask him about how he feels, it's that he can't believe you noticed the mini battle he was having with himself. he can't believe you would even be concerned about how he was feeling, he felt like most people wouldn't care about what he was going through anyway.

"oh it's.." chenle pauses, truly not being able to actual formulate coherent words. "well it's a lot, but nothing i haven't been taught how to handle by father".

your face forms into an unreadable expression, one chenle hates because he doesn't exactly know what kind of expression it is. "they prepare you for things like this?"

"well.. mostly, but even with all the excessive lessons, it all kinds of goes to my head and makes my head spin, sometimes it feels like the palace is suffocating me, taking the air out of my lungs and leaving me helpless, sometimes— i don't know, i feel like i'm being swallowed by some horrible force which just wants to make me suffer, i'm not sure why i feel like this really but—"

chenle stops, clearing his throat as he quickly averts his gaze from yours. he has no idea where that vomit of words came from, but he feels if he continues talking, he's going to say something that he'll regret. you don't answer immediately, so chenle decides to speak up once again. "i'm sorry, i have no idea where that came from it's just.. i don't know, pretend i didn't say anything".

"don't apologize, it's good to talk about things like that once in a while, bottling everything up will just overwhelm you even more".

"it's just, i don't talk to people about things like this".

"why not?"

chenle shrugs, not really sure how to answer that question. "i feel they're sort of..unnecessary, i know i can't control how i feel but my feelings have never really felt important in most situations".

"they're important to me".

the words make chenle pause, his ears reddening and a sputter in his voice as he tries his best to respond to that statement. the words are so simple, but they have such a lasting effect on the crown prince that he can't really respond to them. you care, you care, he cares! that one inner voice screams in his head. he feels his heart begin beating sporadically, it's.. god he's so grateful for you. "oh.. uh, really?"

you smile, chuckling softly. "yeah they are, you shouldn't ever feel like they aren't".

chenle feels his stomach flip, you're so sweet. "i.. thank you, y/n".

chenle hopes you don't notice his red face as you spend the rest of the night conversing about several kinds of literature.

"ARE YOU NERVOUS?" CHENLE MAKES THE MISTAKE OF taking a weary breath when that question is asked. he hears the chuckle of amusement sound from his fiancée's lips, and he allows for a small smile to show on his face. "no" he responds, clearly lying, but yinuo doesn't seem to catch it, as he begins to pick at the fabric of her dress. he turns to her, noticing the clear anxiety she displays.

"i am" she responds, putting on her gloves and rubbing a scar on her knuckles. "i've never really been a big fan of.. crowds" she states, her tone exhibiting disgust as she says the word 'crowds'. chenle has been able to pick up on her habits pretty easily, he has spent much more time with her these days after all.

chenle hums at the response, he gets it, even as he grew up having to get used to these kinds of events, it never got easier. the pit in his stomach would often never cease, that nauseating feeling only heightened, and he could just barely mask the anxious expression on his face. "i get that, they're all too loud".

"i mean, do they really care about us that much? they can't just wait until the wedding.."

the sentence makes chenle snicker as he notices the mere irritation in her tone. "they all just want something to do, i guess" he mutters, pulling his sleeve over his wrist and repeating a reassuring mantra in his head.

it's nothing you haven't done before, chenle, just get it over with, and you'll be fine. chenle thinks if he focuses enough, he can hear his father's voice repeating the mantra to him in his head.

he caresses his wrist lightly, settling in the air of the room. he can hear the faint sound of people cheering outside, and just the sound is enough to make his stomach begin flipping, the anxiety is already heightening. "all that just to see us?"

"they want to see how in love we can look".

"seems unnecessary".

"it is unnecessary".

chenle laughs again, finally walking over to his fiancée and linking their arms together. he sighs, looking down at the floor. "you sure you're not nervous?" she asks once again, raising a curious eyebrow as she notices chenle's change in behavior.

"okay maybe i am a little nervous but that's besides the point".

yinuo laughs, humored by chenle's blatant honesty. he simply gives a small smile, turning to the door of the room and letting out another small breath. they have to face a crowd, a crowd of people who are here to see them and celebrate their totally real love, a crowd who are there to watch as they are confirmed future husband and wife, they're going to get married and have children that go on to take the throne, they have to look in love, they have to.. act in love.

chenle doesn't know how in love he can look, he might get too overwhelmed and throw up right then and there. just the idea of having to do all of this is enough to make him want to cry, and he never thought he'd ever think that, because he doesn't cry, he shouldn't cry, father taught him that enough through ear shattering yells and broken glass.

he hates feeling vulnerable, but in a moment like this, having to mask his feelings in front of a crowd of people who don't know any better, who probably don't care, vulnerability is his one true feeling.

he closes his eyes, taking another deep breath as he tries his best to ignore the anxiety settling upon him.

"chenle!"

chenle snaps out his anxious daze at the shout of his name, recognizing the voice as kun, who he remembers he forgot to greet this morning, as he was in a rush.

but it's not just kun, it's also you, and chenle almost falls to the floor and dies right then and there. kun has his fingers wrapped around your wrist, there's a smile on his face (and yours, chenle thinks your smile is so so pretty). "oh, hi kun, y/n".

look at both of them, chenle, not just y/n.

but for once, chenle doesn't listen to the reprimanding voice in his head.

he doesn't even check how in love with you he must look, just a few seconds ago he was freaking out over how he was supposed to look in love with the woman beside him, but he has no problem looking in love with you.

but he doesn't exactly realize that, too busy admiring you clear as day.

"i— we just wanted to wish you good luck" kun nudges you lightly, and you let out a small laugh as you look away nervously, a red hue tinting your cheeks as you avoid chenle's eyes. "both of you, your highness" he adds, bowing lightly at yinuo and nudging you so you can do the same.

yinuo just smiles, lightly laughing, but chenle is stuck in place, mesmerized by you and.. just you. "thank you, i have to say, everyone here is insanely sweet, i feel welcome".

"well that's my job, i can't have any future queens feeling uncomfortable".

the statement from kun makes you snort, and you shove him in the shoulder. you look away from him to glance at chenle, who is still lost in his mind, you furrow your eyebrows as you watch the cogs in his brains turn, what is he thinking so hard about?

"chenle" you call out.

seemingly snapping out of the trip inside of his mind, chenle looks up at you, hoping it isn't obvious that he's affected by your soft calling of his name. "good luck" you reiterate, a small whisper seemingly shared between only the two of you.

chenle feels his face heat up immediately, eyes widening at the sight of your pretty smile. "thank you, both of you, thank you".

chenle doesn't look over at yinuo when she gives him a weird look.

"right! again, good luck! y/n and i have to go do something right y/n?"

you seem to be puzzled by that comment, chenle determines that by the way your eyebrows furrow. "what? but i thought we were supposed to—"

"alright! good luck you two come on y/n let's go!" kun gives a quick smile and grabs your wrist again to drag you away from the newly engaged couple, who watch as you two make your way down the hall towards another part of the palace.

"weird.." chenle mutters.

"so what was that?" yinuo is quick to ask, making chenle snap his head towards her, clearly not expecting for her to ask him a question.

"what was what?"

"that, chenle" she reiterates, alluding to the little (not so little) lovesick gaze chenle had trained on you for that whole interaction. it's clear that, even with how chenle didn't check the adoration he was staring at you with, she definitely did. "you looked so smitten".

chenle allows for his expression to form into one of shock, what does she mean by that? what the fuck does she mean by that? that makes no sense, it's not like he's in love with you or anything, that would be absurd! that would be—

that wouldn't be entirely out of the picture, think about yourself chenle, the most shocking thing here would be you having no romantic feelings for him.

chenle is about to punch himself in the face for having such thoughts.

"i have no idea what your talking about".

"chenle, i know i don't know you personally like that, but i have never seen you look at someone like you look at him! what is his name? y/n? he has to have you under a spell or something, you were mesmerized".

chenle wants to say that those words are stupid, he wants to spit out some quick rebuttal and have them be on their way, but he can't muster up a coherent excuse for what she just described. how is he supposed to argue with that?

"well, y/n does know how to keep people on the hook".

"seems you enjoy being kept on the hook".

the statement makes chenle pause, and he feels his face burn once again, not at the words, but just at the thought of you, god he misses your presence already, is that weird to say? he's glad he doesn't say it out loud.

"it doesn't matter anyway, what am i supposed to do? tell him about it? not with how everything is turning out.. were getting married in a few months".

"but you're not in love with me" yinuo replies, she's sure of her words, she just knows, chenle almost feels like she's reading his mind. "you want him".

"i can't have him" chenle states as if it's a matter of fact, and it's true, he can't have you. it makes his heart hurt, the idea that even with how much he feels for you, how different it is with you, and how he's had these indescribable feelings for you since he was like eleven, he can't have you.

chenle can't run from his fate, the last thing he wants to do is break the rules, challenge a system that's been in place for pretty much decades at this point.

"you're not going to break the rules for true love?"

chenle just lets a disappointed sigh escape his lips, his stomach flips uncomfortably and he feels his head begin spinning, this topic makes him want to die in the worst way possible. "true love doesn't exist" he states rather harshly. god, he sounds like father, if seven year old chenle heard himself now, he'd grimace at the words and scowl at his new nature.

his heart aches as he utters those words, he can't help but think about you as he says those words.

good god, he feels so helpless.

"MOTHER, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?" NINE YEAR OLD CHENLE liked to ask questions. chenle has always liked to ask questions, being curious is in his nature, it's just that unlike jisung, he's less annoying about it. when this question popped into his nine year old brain, he knew there was no way he could ever ask father about it, he'd never be able to come back from it. mother has always been much more understanding, even with the stubborn statements she often spouted.

"yes you can, chenle".

"are.. well, can a noble and a commoner ever end up together?"

the question received silence from his mother, who, though she had previously been humming to a pleasant tune, seemed to freeze at even the idea of that question. the nine year old prince watched as his mother's face did at least seven expression changes in a matter of seconds. "could you elaborate on that question, dear?"

"can royalty marry non-royalty? could i ever be with someone who isn't royal like me?"

the reason nine year old chenle was so interested in asking this question was because of something kun had mentioned to him, about one of his cousins marrying into a royal family far far away. it got his mind turning in ways only a child's mind can, he never knew that could happen, he had grown to think that he would just end up with any other princess but could he really have a different fate? could he really change his future?

seeing as how things have gone now.. no, he couldn't.

"it depends on how it goes down, chenle".

"has it ever happened before?"

"of course it has happened" his mother finally answered, and the curious young prince allowed for his eyes to widen comically. oh he was so interested now. "in most scenarios when it does happen the commoner becomes a royal".

"i thought that was outlawed".

that statement got a laugh out of his mother, which made the nine year old blink dumbly. "it can't be outlawed, chenle, that would be ridiculous".

"so could i be with someone of a different class?"

"well, it depends on how it all works out".

chenle blinked again, the wording of the sentence confusing the young prince even more. "would father ever approve of something like that?"

she then went silent again, turning away from chenle to gaze at the bright blue sky. "i'm.. not sure, you know how unpredictable he is".

"well that's why i didn't ask him this".

another chuckle sounded from his mother, and at nine years old, chenle didn't know what was more shocking, knowing that he could possibly not have to be forced into a marriage with a princess from a faraway kingdom, or knowing that his mother didn't really have an issue with that.

too bad he didn't try to use any of that childlike courage to get his point about this marriage across.

when the little parade celebrating his marriage is over, chenle finds himself immediately on his way somewhere. he doesn't know exactly where he was going, his feet seem to have control over themselves, and he can't exactly stop himself from walking.

oh, he knows where he's going.

his feet lead him to a familiar place, your office. throughout that whole.. gathering thing or whatever, he couldn't stop thinking about you. he usually can't stop thinking about you these days, just talking to you is enough to entertain his mind for weeks, surely that can't be normal, right?

"y/n?"

chenle's sudden call startles you, seeing as how you jump from your previous position at the sound of it. he just sort of stands there awkwardly, allowing for you to compose yourself as you smile at him. oh you're smile is so pretty, chenle could stare at it for hours. "oh lord, you scared me! your highness".

chenle doesn't even register the title, just gives a small smile. "sorry i'm just.." he pauses, trying to collect his words. "i don't know, actually, i just kind of came here on a whim" he shrugs, looking down at the floor and not straight at you.

you simply let out a silent chuckle, turning back to your desk and going back to packing. chenle blinks, biting down on his bottom lip as he clears his throat. "oh really? is something bothering you?"

chenle allows for himself to look up again, your back is turned now anyway, so you can't see his rapidly reddening face. "a lot is bothering me, really, it feels like i can't do anything these days without feeling like the world is slowly tearing me apart limb by limb".

"well that's certainly a way to explain your feelings" chenle can't tell how you feel about the whole thing from the tone of your voice, it's something that makes him worry, because he's anxious your making fun of him and he won't be able to tell.

much to his own surprise, you turn around and step towards him. "are you feeling alright? like— physically at least?" you ask, tilting your head to the side to get a better look at him. just your eyes on him is enough to have chenle's stomach doing cartwheels, he hopes you don't notice how flustered he is, that would be extremely embarrassing.

"yeah i'm not dying or anything i'm just.. i'm overwhelmed".

well you'd expect that from someone like chenle, someone in such a position of power. chenle is a crown prince set to be king, he's getting married in a few months (that fact makes your heart hurt for a reason you can't explain), he's the next ruler of the zhong dynasty, of course he is feeling overwhelmed.

"ah well that's expected" you laugh lightly. "you have no symptoms though?"

is my clearly reddening face a symptom? my fluttering stomach? my seemingly labored breathing? why can't you tell i'm madly in love with you yet!?

the screaming voice in his head is just as annoyed as chenle is at his current circumstances. you narrow your eyes as you stare at him, and for a moment, chenle thinks you might be reading his mind, but he quickly dismisses such thoughts because that's ridiculous.

"no, no symptoms, i'm alright".

you seem to want to ask for more reassurance, but you don't, instead shutting your mouth and smiling at chenle. "good, i can't have you dying".

"you'd never let me die".

"you're right about that".

chenle looks down at the floor, determined to not make eye contact with you. "where are you heading?"

chenle only realizes then that you're packing your stuff, he didn't even note it down when he stepped into the room and saw that you were doing it, he was much more focused on just beginning a conversation with you, he was much more focused on talking than observing.

you hum, giving him a mere glance then looking back down to the small set of items you were packing. "i'm going to visit my mother".

chenle blinks, the words coming as a small surprise to him. "why? is she alright?"

you quickly glance back up to give him a reassuring smile. "just doing a routine check up, and it's nice to visit your mother once in a while, i need to make sure she's doing well".

chenle responds with a small 'ah', watching as you continue to pack, he feels his stomach churn uncomfortably once again, if he stays in this castle any longer, he might die from the walls which seem to slowly be pushing the air out of his lungs.

"can i come?"

chenle has no idea where that came from, it's like he had no control over his own thoughts or words, he blurted that out in a moment of vulnerability, a moment of.. wanting. he can't stay here any longer, he might die. you now fully look at him and furrow your eyebrows, clearly as puzzled as chenle is by the words. "what?" you chuckle lightly, and chenle feels his face burn immediately.

"i'm sorry, i don't even know where that came from i'll g—"

"no no you can.." you pause for a moment, collecting your words. "you can tag along if you want to i just— i don't know, you can leave the castle?"

"well yeah, but that doesn't mean you have to take me with you i don't even know why i asked that in the first place".

"chenle" you say softly, and just you saying his name like that has chenle's knees feeling weak. how did he deny his feelings for you for so long when you have him feeling like this? he's almost positive you can notice how flustered he is now. "if you want to come visit her with me, you can".

chenle stares at you for what seems like years (in his eyes), contemplating whether he should take your offer. your basically holding your hand out to him, begging for him to take it, for him to intertwine his fingers with yours. how could he ever turn down such a proposition?

"i— okay".

"okay? so you'll accompany me?"

"yeah, yes yes! i will" he replies much too enthusiastically for his own liking, you seem to catch on, as you laugh at his sudden shout. if your laugh wasn't so pretty chenle would've immediately turned away and replied with some snappy rebuttal.

"nice" you whisper, finally finishing your packing. chenle watches you intently, he can't exactly speak at the moment. luckily, you speak up once again. "we have to do something, though".

"what?"

you catch chenle's puzzled expression, and you laugh once again. "a disguise, just so you don't cause an uproar while we go visit my mother".

for the first time this whole entire day, chenle lets out a small laugh, amused by the words which escape your lips. "were gonna sneak around?"

you snicker, looking down at the floor. oh you're adorable, chenle shouts it out in his head, he can't tell you face to face so he'll shout it there.

"yeah, guess you could say that".

though he's just the slightest bit skeptical, chenle trusts you, and a smile crosses his face.

CHENLE DIDN'T REALLY THINK HE'D HAVE as much fun as he does sneaking into the village with you. well it's not really sneaking, you live here, you've grown up here, you just had to put him in some totally not suspicious cloak so that he doesn't draw attention when you make it outside of the castle. he almost fell on his face when you dragged him out of the palace gates, because of the way you dragged him, and because you started holding his hand.

chenle feels like a girl obsessing over a boy crush, just you holding his hand is enough to make him begin overthinking the whole thing in his head. according to you, you had to hold his hand to make things seem more natural, but he suspects that you're lying because of how red your face is as you try to avoid eye contact with him.

chenle has only really been to the village a few times in his whole life, though he's had his fair share of experiences here as a child, he never got to stop and observe his surroundings, much too busy trying to settle his anxiety while watching all of the people in the crowd burn holes into his head with their stares.

chenle has always been fascinated by the lives of others, whether it be the stories kun told of the urban legends village kids would spread, or the many times he begged the staff to take him on carriage rides throughout the kingdom as a child. he likes seeing situations through other people's eyes, the life of citizens who don't live as royalty seems like nothing far from the fictional stories he reads in the books in the library.

"you almost pulled off my arm, that was totally suspicious!" chenle whisper-yells, but it's not a shout of seriousness, it's playful, the beginning of a banter.

"oh i'm sorry your highness! do you need medical attention?"

chenle feigns an offensive gasp at the sarcastic comment from you, which results in nothing but a snicker from you as you nudge him with your shoulder. he caresses the back of your hand with his thumb unconsciously, ignoring his clearly heating cheeks as he performs the action.

"do you still live in the same place you grew up?"

"hm? oh yeah, we could never really afford to get another place, it's become a super comforting place for me.."

"ah, i see".

chenle admires your face for much longer than he was supposed to, and if you notice, you don't seem to care enough to comment on it.

chenle allows for his eyes to roam freely around the expanse of a town. it's a pretty place, even with how tiny it seems, he feels much more relaxed here than in the large palace he grew to know as a home, the palace was really in the middle of nowhere, no fellow citizens around for him to make connections with or whatever. this town is the clear definition of community, the kind of place where everyone knows everyone.

"oh y/n! y/n!"

chenle startles from his thoughts when a shout rings in his ears, you snap your head towards the figure, a figure chenle can tell you recognize because you give them a smile, he opts to stay silent in this interaction. "hi tao, how is ying doing?"

the man smiles brightly at you, pulling you into an abrupt hug, making your fingers slip from chenle's. you squeak as he squeezes you in his arm, but you manage a smile, resisting the urge to glare at chenle as he silently snickers at your suffering. "she's recovering well! thank you so much, i don't know how i could ever repay you!"

"there's no need to" you smile softly again, finally able to remove yourself from his crushing grip, you rub your aching arm and awkwardly chuckle. "i just enjoy helping others, i'm glad she's feeling better, tell her i said hi".

"will do! thank you so much!"

the guy gives one last smack on your shoulder before walking off, and chenle has to resist the urge to laugh loudly as you wince from the strong grip who had been squeezing you to death with that hug.

"are you enjoying my misery, your highness?"

chenle can barely contain his laugh as he looks over at you, being met with your deadpanned gaze. he looks down at the floor to stop his giggling, making you frown. "no, it was just too hilarious not to laugh at".

"uh huh, you're sooo funny".

though you were clearly irritated by chenle's laughing fit, you only softly smiled at him trying to hide his laughter. you reach over to take his hand once again, just playfully glaring at him. "yeah continue laughing at my suffering, we still have to make it to my mother's house".

chenle, again, gets jolted forward by a strong tug on his hand, but he doesn't say anything more, just snickers as he sees the pure dedication in your eyes. he smiles as he sees the look in your eye, you're just so adorable.

when you abruptly stop, chenle bumps into you, and your fingers slip from his, an action which makes him frown in just the slightest. he likes holding your hand, he has no idea why, but he does.

you begin digging through your bag for your house key, and chenle simply watches, listening to you hum the tune of a song, one you always hum the tune to whenever you find yourself bored. "here" you whisper, victorious in your search for your keys. you quickly unlock the door and gesture for chenle to follow you in with nothing but the tilt of your head, he silently steps into your childhood home, a comforting feeling in the air as he closes the door behind him.

while you drop your bag onto a nearby table and begin looking through it again, chenle slowly removes the cloak he had been wearing as he observes his surroundings.

the place is nice, small, but nice. it has a comfortable sort of air that makes chenle want to immediately relax, it's not the fanciest place, or the biggest place, but it's a home, a comfortable, quiet home. chenle would love to live here, maybe in another life, a life where he doesn't end up born into a highly respected royal family, he just gets to live like this, it's a place that seems to bring a feeling of solace.

chenle glances over at you, your eyebrows furrowed as you continue going through your bag. you seem to sense his eyes, because you glance up at him and you meet his eyes. you blink, then glance over at a door across the room. "you can go see her if you want".

chenle awkwardly chuckles as he glances at the door your eyes were on, he then glances back at you. "i— can you come with me?"

chenle just wants to stay around you.

you stare puzzled for a moment, but you don't question it, you leave your bag alone and gesture for chenle to follow you to your mother's room. chenle stays silent the whole way there, noticing the way your mood changes as you step closer to the door.

you knock on the door. "mom?"

when you open the door, you peak your head through, a small chuckle escaping your lips as you hear her say something. "yes yes i know, i'll remember to tell her, i brought a guest".

chenle slowly peaks from behind you, giving your mother a small smile. "hello" he greets softly.

your mother gasps, sitting up in her bed. "zhong chenle?"

chenle lightly chuckles, looking down at the floor, you nudge him with your shoulder. "oh my goodness, you've grown so much! come here give me a hug!"

chenle is almost surprised, he was afraid she was going to have a bad reaction to his presence, but she was much more excited to see him than he thought she would be. you push chenle into her room, motioning for him to fulfill your mothers wish.

she quickly wrapped her arms around him when he got close enough to her. her hugs are still as warm as he remembers, he almost wants to hug her forever and never let go. "how are things going these days? i wanted to go to that little parade of yours but y/n forbid me from doing so!"

"because you were vomiting all morning, i wasn't going to risk it".

she pulls away from the hug to grab both of chenle's hand, smiling softly at him. the smile reminiscent of the smiles she would share with him in the hallways of the palace when she used to work there. "you always worry so much" she raises an eyebrow at you before turning back to chenle. "how have you been these days?"

chenle smiles at her, noticing you leave the room, but too focused on answering the question from your mother to follow you. "i've been good, just a little stressed from everything happening lately".

her eyes widen again, and she nods excessively. "right! your getting married soon! how are you feeling about the whole thing?"

chenle's face falls just a little bit, but he quickly reverts back to a smile, not wanting to worry her with a random frown crossing his face. "it's all.. new, it'll take some time to get used to but i know i can get through it".

the older woman smiles at him, seemingly liking those words. "that's good, i'm glad you're still friends with y/n, he missed you".

chenle blinks, the words surprising him. "he missed me?"

your mother chuckles at the question. "yes he did, i remember watching the two of you run around the castle together as children, i was afraid the friendship wouldn't last, when i first resigned, y/n said he feared you two would drift apart".

chenle almost gasps at the information he receives. were you really worried about that? for the longest time he felt like such a bad friend because he began having no time for you as the two of you grew up, yeah that's what happens as people get older but he'd always see the flash of disappointment in your eyes when he had to be dragged away for another stupid royal meeting.

"i didn't know he felt that way, it's getting much more difficult to get him alone with everything going on".

"i heard you two are beginning to talk more, he always comes to me so giddy about it these days".

chenle is again surprised by the information he hears, a small laugh of disbelief escapes his lips at the words. "really?"

"yeah, he came freaking out over you two talking about books, books! you make him so happy, chenle".

the words strike chenle like a slap in the face, it's just so shocking to him he stands with his mouth agape for much longer than he'd like to admit. his face burns at the fact, at the idea that pops into his brain.

the idea that you might feel the same.. that you might reciprocate his feelings.

he swears smoke is going to begin pouring out of his ears from how heated his face has become.

"i'm glad i could do that, y/n is truly a blessing, i don't know what i'd do without him".

chenle thinks those must've been his truest words today, a look into what's really going on in his head, a look into how he really feels.

god it's always with you isn't it?

"it was nice seeing you again, mrs. l/n, i'm glad your recovering well".

at the word 'recovering', the older woman suddenly tenses, an anxious look in her eye as she looks away from the crown prince. "right, yes, thank you for visiting, chenle, it was nice seeing you too".

chenle smiles at your mother, nodding. "i'll leave you be now".

chenle slips his hands from hers, smiling one more time before leaving her room, gently closing the door behind him. he turns around and looks over at you, your still rummaging through your back, but chenle can tell you aren't looking for something, you seem to be trying to distract yourself.

"y/n?" chenle calls out, seemingly against his own will, because he's surprised by the sound of his own voice. you simply hum in response, not wanting to look him in the eye for some unknown reason. he quickly makes his way over to you, standing beside you and accidentally bumping your shoulders.

"is she really sick? i mean she looks fine! much finer than any sick people i've seen—"

"it's her kidneys".

you cut into chenle's sentence with a shaky tone of voice, you look over at chenle, sighing as you see the confusion cross his face. "her kidneys are failing, chenle".

chenle feels his heart drop upon hearing that, and you look away as you see his reaction to the news. "what? but how did that even happen—"

you let out a distressed sigh, gritting your teeth and closing your eyes. "she contracted lupus, right before she took that break back a few years ago, she recovered and we thought everything was fine but then she started vomiting every other day and i couldn't figure out what was wrong so we went to a doctor outside of the kingdom and.."

you look like you're about to cry, and you take in a deep breath to blink away the oncoming tears, but you persist, not wanting to break down in front of the crown prince. "she got diagnosed with chronic kidney disease, by that point she had been suffering from it for a whole five months! and what can i do? it's.."

incurable.

the word simmers into the air, it's unsaid, but both of you know what's truly going on. your both silent, none of you saying a word as silence quickly takes over the room. chenle finally takes the initiative and glances over at you, the tears brimming in your eyes threatening to fall at any moment.

still, you don't allow for yourself to become vulnerable in front of chenle, wiping the tears that haven't fallen from your eyes. "it's a lot to try and digest at once i'm just.. i'm not ready to see her go".

chenle gets it, anyone would get it, he stays silent, afraid of not being able to do the comforting as well as you do. "i'm sorry".

"there's no need to apologize, i mean— this is just how life works!"

"i hate that it works that way" chenle responds, fathers dying eyes flash in his mind, and he bites into his bottom lip so hard that it begins bleeding. god, he hates that memory, father only passed away no less than a year ago, and the image of his lifeless face still haunts chenle in his nightmares.

"yeah, but what can i do?" your clearly trying to be positive, but it's difficult for you to. "i'm just worried that one day i'll come home and she'll be gone.. i already had to go through it with dad and now— i don't know how i'll deal with it".

chenle stares at you, a small smile comes to your face as you glance back at him. chenle wants to cry just seeing you try to hold back your own tears, so he looks away from you quickly.

he then looks back at you, moving closer to you and taking your hand. "if you ever need someone to talk to, to vent to, to— yell and cry at.. i'm here".

you chuckle at the words, tears again welling up in your eyes. chenle feels you squeeze his hand, and he smiles softly at the sight of you. "really? you'll listen to my stupid ramblings?"

"yeah" chenle responds, nodding a little bit too enthusiastically, but he doesn't care. "i will, your feelings are just as important as mine, and you're my friend, it's what friends do".

you squeeze his hand, laughing softly again as you let a small tear slip down your face. "thank you, chenle".

"it's no problem, y/n".

CHENLE IS GENUINELY GOING INSANE, AND ITS ALL because of you. he can't focus on anything but you, and it's literally driving him crazy. he has never, never in his 21 years of living on this earth ever felt so much for just one person, what is it with you? he can't even think about you without his face turning a bright shade of red, his palms easily get sweaty and his words become nothing but a jumbled mess.

chenle finds it hilarious, how he was raised to be poised and proper, never swear, never talk when you don't have to, never interrupt others, sit like this sit like that, speak like this, speak like that, but right now, he's acting like a psycho more than anything.

he's pacing around his room like he just lost his mind or something, completely distracted from everything else as his mind is focused on you and you only.

he must look crazy, hair messy, clothes in disarray, pacing back and forth as he tries to figure out if feeling like this is normal, or even allowed here.

"chenle? could you explain to me why your mother wants— oh dear".

kun walks in midway through chenle's strange breakdown thingy, and the younger isn't even paying attention to him because he's screaming into the pillow on his king sized bed. the older watches in concern, and the breath chenle lets out is a mix of weary and frustrated. "chenle? what's wrong?"

kun drops the clipboard he'd previously been holding to rush over to the younger's side, if he focuses hard enough, he swears he can see tears welling up in chenle's eyes. "chenle.."

chenle sniffles, looking down at the pillow in his lap. "i'm in love with him, kun".

kun blinks, dumbfounded. "with who?"

"with y/n! i can't— oh my god i'm so stupid!" the crown prince grabs his pillow again and lets out a well needed scream of agony, a scream that makes kun sigh as he stares at the sight before him. "i don't get it! why does he make me feel like this!? everything is so complicated and i can't even do anything about it because i get married in two months—!"

"okay okay, calm down" kun is quick to cut in, pressing a quick thumb to his cheek to wipe away the tears. "take a deep breath, talk coherently".

chenle sniffles again, taking in another breath and then exhaling, collecting himself as he tries his best to think coherently. "i don't know, kun, it's all getting to my head, i want him so bad yet i can't have him".

and just the fact makes chenle stomach drop, he wants to start sobbing once again, but he contains his tears. "it's stupid i know—"

"it's not stupid, chenle, it's totally fine to have complicated feelings about things, and people, but you'll never have closure if you don't tell him how you feel".

"but what's the point, kun?" chenle doesn't see why it would matter anyway, what would you even do when he told you how he felt? would you grimace and push him away? would you accept his confession? what would you do? it's all he can think about. "what difference does it make?"

"it gets the pressure off your back.. and, if it's any consolation for you, both you and y/n can finally come to terms with your feelings".

chenle's eyes widen at the words, they settle a new emotion on him he can't exactly explain. "what the hell do you mean by that?"

"language, your highness" kun jokingly reprimands, his tone reminiscent of his mothers scoldings whenever chenle would mess up the garden of roses on occasions. "y/n might've.. told me some things, but you'll have to ask him about that".

"that isn't fair!"

"it is! you have to ask him yourself, it's the only way to get yourself in order!"

chenle deadpans at his older friend, but kun just snickers at his expression, lightly shoving his shoulder. "don't look at me like that, you know i'm right".

chenle would roll his eyes, but kun does have a point. "maybe i'll listen to you.."

"you should".

chenle has to resist the urge to roll his eyes at that response too.

CHENLE THINKS YOU LOOK EXCEPTIONALLY PRETTY when you read. it's not that you're not usually exceptionally pretty, it's just that he enjoys admiring your profile as you read, eyes narrowed, eyebrows furrowed, lips occasionally parting in shock, he could stare for hours. he might look creepy on a few certain occasions, but you rarely ever notice.

chenle doesn't know how many times the two of you have been up together late in the night, just sitting in the library talking about literature. he doesn't even remember what your talking about most of the time, but he loves talking to you about bullshit pertaining to the books your both into.

for the both of you, books are sort of an escape in a way. chenle enjoys indulging himself in worlds of fiction to distract himself from his mess of a life, and you enjoy indulging yourself in messy love stories with terrible endings to distract yourself from your own issues in life.

it's all truly a coping mechanism for you two.

you both are a coping mechanism for each other, chenle finds it all simpler around you, and you feel as if you don't have to be so professional around him anymore.

chenle doesn't sleep much these days, but that's because he's spending most of his nights in the library with you. he likes listening to you talk, the way you simply piece together your words is amazing.

"and it was so sad! i cried my eyes out for weeks after reading that!"

chenle snickers at your whining, and you caress the material of the book in your hands. "i mean.. the book is literally called, they both die in the end".

"i know! i know! but that doesn't mean it's still not sad" you frown, recalling the ending of the book you were rambling about.

you quickly stop your pouting and make your way over to another part of the library, the section including romance books. chenle doesn't follow you, but his eyes surely do, he makes sure to keep them trained on you, as if you'd disappear if he even looked away from you for just a moment.

"do you want any more recommendations? or..?"

"oh, no no no" chenle shakes his head. "i just—" he pauses, having no idea how to say the words without sounding like some weirdo who totally has a crush on you.

well he is a weirdo who totally has a crush on you, how hypocritical.

"i like listening to you talk".

you blink at his words, noticeably flustered at the way they came out. chenle takes your silence as you judging him, so he's quick to chuckle awkwardly and begin waving dismissing hands. "i didn't mean to say that i know it was weird and stuff—!"

"no no! it wasn't weird i'm just.. i'm not used to being told things like that, you're so unique with your words and i never know how to respond to them".

"oh.."

"yeah".

you click your tongue, and chenle simply stares. oh you affect him so much without doing anything, what is up with you? his ears are burning, he might collapse at the very moment.

what was that kun said again? you'll never get any closure if you don't just tell him how you feel. yeah, he isn't sure if he'll be able to do it.

"can i show you something?"

chenle's breath hitches against his will, he has no idea why he's nervous, why the hell is he nervous? it's just you, it's you, his friend since he was a child, his oldest friend, you probably know him better than he thinks you do.

you wouldn't do anything bad.

"is it terrible?" he raises an eyebrow, and you laugh. your laughter is pretty, so pretty. "well? is it?"

"no, just come here" you beckon chenle over to you with your hand, a hand he almost shies away from, but he can't shy away from you, so he steps closer, following you. he feels like a mind controlled puppet, your a magnet attracting him closer and closer until he presses into you.

you smile as you see chenle in your peripheral vision, your fiddling with something in your fingers. chenle furrows his eyebrows, having no idea what it is, he tries to look over your shoulder, but you quickly block his eyesight, much to his own dismay. "why are you hiding?"

"i'm not hiding! be patient, your highness".

your teasing tone of voice doesn't make it past chenle, but he doesn't stay anything, just keeps his mouth shut. you hum as you turn back to chenle, still fiddling with your fingers as you smile at the crown prince, who is puzzled by what you're doing exactly.

you then open your palm, extending it forward towards chenle, and his eyes widen at what he sees.

"what is..?"

"we— um.. remember that friendship bracelet i made for you when we were ten? the one you broke?"

chenle laughs lightly, his face burning. "yes i remember.."

"well, i kept mine, and because were.. you know, friends again, i remade it for you, if you want it of course!"

chenle stares at you, then he stares at the bracelet in your hand, and he can't resist the urge to smile. you're absolutely adorable, sweet, chenle really really really likes you. his silence makes you anxious, and you want to begin picking your fingers until they bleed.

chenle must realize it, because he immediately laughs, a hearty laugh, a lovely laugh. "y/n, i love it, it's so.. cute i can't— how long did it take you to make this?"

"well i was thinking about it for a while and i just barely finished this last night i just.. i don't know, i missed you, a lot" you say, your words a vomit of adoration, oh you're so adorable. "it was a brash decision really".

"you're so—"—cute—"sweet, really".

you again step closer to chenle, silently asking to have his wrist with the extension of your hand. he doesn't even think before placing his hand into yours, allowing for you to slip the bracelet onto his wrist. it fits perfectly. of course it does, chenle can barely stifle his giggle.

he feels so giddy.

you don't let go of his hand, and chenle doesn't move his hand either. he stares at the indirect act of affection, his hand gently placed upon your palm, a palm that you aren't moving. what are you two doing? what the hell is going on?

"y/n" chenle calls out, his voice barely elevated as he avoids eye contact with you. "what is.. what are we doing?"

"i don't know" you mutter, blinking. you don't even think before taking your free hand and intertwining it with chenle's other free hand, now your holding both of his hands, an action that has chenle's face reddening to amazing heights. "your hands are warm".

chenle simply looks away, basking in the feeling of your fingers laced with his. he likes holding your hand, it just feels right, your fingers intertwined with his, your hands placed on his.

"yours are cold".

the words are nothing but your observations of each other whispered into the air. it's a strangely intimate moment, you two are just staring at each other in the library, your short breaths can be heard in the silence of the huge room around you.

you sink your teeth into your bottom lip, then stare at chenle's. chenle blinks, he sees you, he sees what you're doing, but it doesn't seem like you're trying to be slick, you don't care, you are unashamed in your decision.

he isn't really sure how to feel about that.

you lean closer, much closer than chenle thinks he could ever handle. you give a small smile, and chenle wants to faint. he's holding your hands, your leaning close to him, and you look you want to kiss him.

and he wants to kiss you.

oh he wants to do it so bad.

"may i?" you ask, but you aren't looking chenle in the eyes, your staring directly at his lips. chenle almost chokes on his spit, are you really asking him if you can kiss him? do you really like him as much as he likes you? is he dreaming?

he stares like an idiot for so long that he almost looks frozen.

chenle nods wordlessly, but that's not good enough of an answer for you.

"verbal consent, chenle".

chenle wants to pull you into a kiss by force right now.

"yes! yes, you may".

you note his enthusiasm, enthusiasm that makes his face redden, he looks away from you, clearly embarrassed.

you chuckle silently, letting go of his left hand to take his jaw and turn him back towards you. then, you lean forward and press a kiss to his lips.

it's short, sweet, and ends in pretty much two seconds.

your cheeks are dusted red, and you immediately look away from chenle upon finishing your action. "that was stupid, right? i'm sorry! i don't know why i did that i jus—"

chenle doesn't let you finish, he grabs the back of your neck and smashes your lips together. you let out a small squeak of surprise, clearly not expecting the action, but you quickly relax into the kiss, sighing softly as you let an arm wrap around his waist, pulling him closer with your hand on his back.

it's.. nice, it feels right, chenle is relaxed. his heart isn't pounding uncomfortably, he doesn't feel that anxious pit in his stomach, his chest isn't tight, he feels like he can breath (ironic, really), and he doesn't want to burst into tears at his circumstances.

he feels good, he feels content.

god, it's always with you isn't it?

"wait wait, hold on" you pull away for air, pressing your forehead against chenle's as you gather your words. you chuckle awkwardly, looking down at the floor instead of at the crown prince in front of you. "sorry, i don't know how to feel about this".

chenle blinks up at you, and all you can see are his pretty eyes staring at you. you fumble through your speech, trying your best to be coherent even with the way he was staring. "i'm just.. i don't know, i have to check up on my heart levels and shit—"

chenle gasps loudly. "language, y/nie".

"you can't just say that after you literally took away my breath you.." you stop in your speech, snickering at the way you're acting, the red on your cheeks doesn't disappear, but chenle thinks he likes it that way.

"y/n" you look up as chenle calls your name again, now completely focused on him. "i.. i don't really know how to say this but i— i like you, okay? like a lot, not even just that i'm in love with you! it's.. complicated".

wow, so much for a smooth confession, chenle.

chenle narrows his eyes at the voice in his mind, it sounds like.. you?

you freeze at the confession, your whole body paralyzed as you try your best to process the words in your head.

"oh".

chenle can't tell how you feel by your tone of voice, but to him, it doesn't sound good.

CHENLE USED TO BE AFRAID OF ASKING HIS FATHER certain questions. he was unpredictable in the sense that chenle never knew how he'd react if he asked him a question as simple as what 1+1 was. when father was alive, chenle feared him, not because he was physically violent or anything, but because he was intimidating. the air temperature would lower whenever he stepped into the room, and the way his voice boomed when he talked was enough to have chenle shivering for weeks.

"father, may i ask you a question?"

"is it a stupid question?"

at thirteen years old, chenle was still as fearful of his father as he was back when he was seven, and he almost wanted to cry the moment his father responded to his question with another question. he swallowed his own spit, a feeling of anxiety immediately settling onto him. "well— i'm not sure.."

his fathers shoulders relaxed, and he hummed. "what is it, chenle?"

"why do i have to get married?"

the question was much more abrupt than chenle wanted it to be, and he clamped his mouth shut as soon as the words escaped his lips. his father stayed silent at the question, which didn't lessen his worries, it worried him much more than it should've.

his father then chuckled, he chuckled, and chenle almost let out a gasp upon seeing the sight. when was the last time he'd seen that happen? the sight was truly one to behold, he was amused, amused!!

"why are you so curious about that? you're way too young to be interested in stuff like marriage".

"i'm not that interested i just— i heard mother say something about it and i.. i don't know! i just want an answer".

his father turned back to him, an unintelligible expression on his face that chenle still doesn't understand even to this day. "let me ask you a question, chenle, do you want to get married?"

the question struck chenle as odd, but judging by his father's smile in the moment, the question was very much needed. the thirteen year old prince blinked, puzzled, but he didn't let the question linger in the air for too long, afraid of upsetting his father with his silence.

"maybe, in the future, when the time is right, with someone who i like, and know is a good.. person to me".

"person?"

chenle nodded, wordless as he tried his best not to shrink under his father's gaze.

"ah, i see".

chenle had no idea where he was trying to go with that question and statement.

"what kind of person?"

chenle was once again speechless at the question, he allowed for his eyes to roam around the room as he scoured his brain for an answer to his father's question. then, he spotted his answer, it was you, giggling with kun about a dumb joke as your mother rummaged through her work bag for something.

you caught his eye in the moment, smiling the sight of him as you waved, mouthing a small hi from where you were across the room.

chenle giggled at the sight, waving as well as he returned your greeting.

unfortunately for him, father noticed everything.

"oh? someone like y/n?"

chenle immediately snapped his head towards his father, beginning to sputter at the assertion from him. "y/n? what do you mean by that?"

his father merely glanced over at you, his lips unconsciously quirking up into a smile. "you seem to like y/n, the two of you are friends right?"

"yes, yeah we are".

"huh" his father clicked his tongue. "if you ever do get to decide who you want to marry in the future, let it be someone like him".

chenle choked on his spit, he had no idea how to respond to that. the words have stuck with him forever, even after father's death, even after his marriage to yinuo was confirmed, the words ring in his head whenever chenle does as much as look at you anymore.

it's been a week, a week, a whole entire seven days, and you have been avoiding chenle like the plague. literally. you see him in the halls and make a break for the nearest door, you catch his eyes randomly and you immediately look away. you don't smile, you don't stop to make small talk, you just turn your back and run away.

did he do something wrong? did you really not return his feelings? (no! that can't be true! why would you kiss him back if you didn't feel at least something for him?). chenle has no idea why you're suddenly avoiding him, but you are, and he has to figure out why.

so, when chenle finishes having a totally fun conversation with his mother, he makes a beeline towards your office, he knows your there, because you aren't anywhere else during the day usually. you don't visit your mother on tuesdays, chenle knows that very well.

he stops in front of the door of your office, a sudden anxious feeling taking over him. he raises his fist to knock, but then lets it fall, he instead turns the knob and opens the door to your office.

you don't perk up immediately at the sound of the door opening, mainly because your back is turned and your focused on cleaning up a rubbing alcohol spill. chenle doesn't say anything, the silence in the room practically swallowing him whole.

you still don't look back, simply humming. "did you leave something here, kun? are you going to nag me about cuts again?"

chenle keeps silent.

when you finally do turn back to look at chenle, expecting kun, you pause, an unreadable expression crossing your face. you clear your throat, smiling awkwardly as you tucked your hair behind your ear. "hi, your highness".

chenle's jaw clenches, what's with the sudden switch up? why aren't you calling him by his name anymore?

"hi, y/n".

another uncomfortable silence takes over the room, and chenle wants to die in that very moment. there's no playful banter, there's no snickering, you two aren't talking, this is one of the strangest things to ever happen to the both of you in your whole entire friendship.

you two always talk, even if it's just small talk, this random silence makes chenle anxious.

"did i do something wrong?"

judging by your reaction, that wasn't the question to ask. you simply chuckle, going back over to the spilled rubbing alcohol and finishing up with your business. "no".

"so what happened?"

"nothing happened".

"it doesn't seem that way, you've been avoiding me ever since.." chenle looks down at the floor, picking at his nails as he tries not to stare at you. "you know".

you hum, finally turning back to chenle again with the intention of making eye contact. chenle looks over at you, but not directly in your eyes, just at your face. "we can't, chenle".

"what?"

"we can't be.. we just can't, chenle".

chenle's eyebrows furrow. "you could at least elaborate on that".

"you know what i'm talking about, chenle" you grit your teeth, but you aren't frustrated by chenle, no, you seem frustrated by yourself. "you're getting married soon and i'm.. i'm nothing like you, this isn't right—"

"what makes you think that?" chenle cuts in, what is wrong with you? what the hell is wrong with you? is that really what you think? he's about to kill you. "are you embarrassed?"

"embarrassed? what? no! no! i'm literally the one who offered to kiss you i just.." you cover your face with your hand, letting a distressed groan escape your lips. "i don't want to be the reason everything goes wrong for you".

"is that really how you feel? is that really how you think i feel..?"

"chenle" you begin softly, your tone of voice making chenle's stomach flip. you close your eyes and clasping your own hands together. "i do like you too, i— love you, even, but we just can't be together".

oh. that's what it's about.

chenle sucks in a breath, he wants to shout at you, not because your making him mad, but because your right, and he knows it. he wants— no, he needs to break something, throw something against the wall in frustration, break a glass window. just anything to keep himself from having a full on mental breakdown from your very words.

"of course you would say that".

you scoff at his petty tone, but you sound more disappointed than frustrated. "your acting like i'm doing this on purpose, if things were different then maybe—"

"why can't we make it work now? huh? why does it have to be if things were different?"

"because you're getting married chenle! you— you're going to become king and i don't want to hold this over your head".

"you're so.. stupid! how is that all you've gotten from this situation?" now chenle is getting desperate, he wants you to change your mind, even if he knows it's unlikely that will actually ever happen. "you're not holding anything over my head and you're not going to make anything go wrong, i don't get it!"

"i'm being realistic.."

"how is that realistic?"

"because it's better than potentially losing my job! chenle! i have to take care of my mother, i can't afford to risk my position because someone thinks you're cheating on your fiancée with me".

your words sting, but they don't sting chenle, they sting you. your chest hurts, so you simply shake your head, sighing in defeat. your arms drop to your side and you turn away from chenle, gritting your teeth.

all chenle can do is give you a look of sympathy. "y/n—"

"chenle, leave it alone" you snap, yet you don't come off as annoyed, more upset. "i'd prefer if you'd leave".

you really just need to think, you just need to peacefully gather your thoughts without chenle in the room.

chenle wants to argue with you, to walk forward and take you by your arm, to grab you by your face and kiss you senselessly whilst telling you that he doesn't care about what anyone thinks.

but chenle obeys your wish, turning around and leaving the room.

KUN KNOWS CHENLE ALL TOO WELL AT THIS point that the younger is convinced that he's a mind reader. from his narrowed eyes to his silent snickers, he can always tell what chenle's feeling before chenle himself even does. back when they were younger, chenle assumed kun had to be some sort of supernatural being, possessing some kind of telepathic power or something, but as he's grown up, he realizes the older is just that observent.

case in point: chenle's current attitude.

"why do you keep sulking? they teach you not to do that at like.. age ten?"

kun's comment doesn't receive it's usual rebuttal from chenle, it simply gets silence, silence that kun hums at. he resists the urge to roll his eyes, standing beside the stubborn crown prince. "okay, tell me what happened".

"what?"

"there's no use in pretending that you don't know what i'm talking about, chenle, what happened?"

kun has always been assertive in this sense, chenle finds his power to be absolutely shocking. maybe, in another universe, their roles are reversed, kun would make a better ruler than chenle ever could anyway.

"i'm an idiot, kun".

the statement results in kun letting out a strange sound, a sound of complete confusion. he then raises an eyebrow, one that makes chenle want to dig a hole and die in it forever. "what is that supposed to mean?"

chenle scowls, covering his face with his hands as he resists the urge to claw his own eyes out. he lets out a groan as your face flashes in his mind, oh he is so stupid, why couldn't he just be fearless? why does he have to be such a coward?

why couldn't he be brave for you?

"i— god, i confessed to y/n but i even managed to mess that up and now we're on bad terms.."

kun goes through seven expression changes as he processes the information. "what? what are you saying?"

"he just told me the situation like how it is" he grits his teeth, looking away from the older. "we can't be together no matter how much we want to, i'm getting married and he can't risk losing his job and.. i have to go through with the marriage".

"who says that?"

"my mother, kun" chenle sighs, feeling as if he just got punched in the gut. "i don't want to put too much on her shoulders, a marriage like this has been planned for me for who knows how long and she's clearly not her best considering father didn't pass that long ago and.." a groan leaves his lips, a sour taste in his mouth. "this will make her happy, i just want her to be happy".

kun stares in silence, clicking his tongue. "have you ever tried to prioritize your happiness?"

chenle sighs. "we're not starting this again kun—"

"no, we are going to start this again, you have to think about if you're happy before ever going through with a marriage, marriage is a legally binding thing! you're gonna be in a union with this woman until you die! are you really happy with that?"

chenle opens his mouth to speak again, but it falls shut. he can't really respond to that.

all of his life he grew to believe that he'd eventually get used to arranged marriages and the idea of having to warm up to his partner. all royalty have to do it, it's just apart of the process. heck, chenle is the result of an arranged marriage himself, why would he ever challenge it when it was always the most likely outcome?

it's different because it's you. chenle can't possibly think about going through this marriage at all now that he's realized how he truly feels for you, it's not right, he shouldn't, he can't.

you're a terrible liar, chenle. at the end of the day, you will go through with this marriage, it's all too risky to not.

"i.. no, i'm not" chenle finally responds, his voice a mix of disgusted and frustrated. "i just— i always thought it was supposed to be this way, i don't want to just.. do it differently".

"well why not?"

"because this is for the good of my future, for yinuo, for my mother, to test if i can live up to the ruler my father was".

chenle bites his inner cheek, suddenly feeling nauseous. he closes his eyes, not wanting to face kun's gaze.

the older simply sighs. "i can't make you do anything you don't want to, chenle, but don't make a decision you know is going to leave you unhappy, i'd hate for you to be stuck in an uncomfortable position for the rest of your life".

and with that, kun turns and walks out of the room. chenle doesn't open his eyes until he knows kun has left the room.

the words ring in his head all day.

WHEN CHENLE WAS ELEVEN, YOU TAUGHT HIM about the several constellations that appear in the night sky. you taught him their names, how they form, what they represented, and your thoughts on them. you always had a thing for those luminous balls of gas in the sky, something about them always left you so intrigued, waiting for the next time they would show up so you could drag chenle out in the middle of the night to see them with you.

tonight, andromeda is in the sky.

it's never been a favorite of yours, more one of chenle's favorites, but he knows you'll be outside, staring at the aligned stars in the sky. he takes kun's words into account, and wishes his mother a good night before turning on his heel to make his way towards a familiar place of comfort.

the rose garden, of course.

the best thing about the rose garden is that it has the cool glass roof you can see the sky through. it was an addition that was only made a few years ago, one last hurrah for mrs. qian before her eventual retirement.

chenle spent a lot of time reading about constellations, all the information he learned he would relay to you. he loved seeing how interested you were in the information you already didn't know, your eyes would widen comically and then they would light up.

constellations have always been special to me, you told chenle once. they remind me of dad, he's the one who taught me about them, i like to think that he's now become apart of cygnus.

chenle was surprised by your way of grieving, but he couldn't exactly blame you. you liked to think your father became one with the stars, and you'd always be especially excited when cygnus appeared in the sky.

when chenle steps into the rose garden, he isn't surprised to see you already there, lips parted in surprise as you stare up at the sky through the glass rooftop. you don't notice him immediately, but when you do, you smile. "hi".

chenle bites down on his bottom lip, but he steps forward anyway. "hi".

you put your head down, then turn to chenle with an unreadable expression on your face. "i missed you".

chenle allows for himself to lightly chuckle at the fact. "you're the one whose been ignoring me all this time".

your shoulder slump, a small sigh leaving your lips as you rock back and forth on your heels. "i do realize that was pretty.. rude of me, i just needed time to think, i was probably going to have a breakdown if i didn't collect my thoughts".

chenle nods, pressing his lips together in a thin line. an uncomfortable silence passes through the air in the room, and you glance up again to examine andromeda once again.

"i'm sorry".

you snap your head over at chenle. "for what?"

"for yelling, and for calling you stupid" chenle looks away from you, ashamed of himself. "you were just being realistic and i was.. i wasn't thinking clearly, like an idiot".

"don't say that" your voice is so soft, it probably feels like clouds. "i get where you're coming from, just saying those words made me sick.." you pinch the bridge of her nose, and chenle can't stop his head from turning so that he can stare at you. oh your side profile is so pretty, chenle could admire it for hours. "i'm sorry, chenle, you probably felt like your feelings didn't matter in the moment and that was so terrible of me to do, romantic feelings or not, you're my friend, and i care about how you feel, i shouldn't have dismissed you like that".

chenle can't resist the urge to smile, his lips turn up much too quickly, but of course they do, because it's you, it's always with you. chenle has never felt such a way for another human being in his life, but he guesses your whole relationship must've been planned by the universe or something.

"you're so.. stupid" chenle reiterates, but it's said much more affectionately than the last time. "you have always considered my feelings, you are literally one of the sweetest people i know, don't apologize for thinking about yourself for once, your job is much more important than our.. relationship thing".

you pause at the words, shaking your head as a small snicker falls from your lips. "i love you, chenle".

oh.

if chenle didn't have any self control, he would've done a trust fall right then and there. he wants to faint onto the floor and never get up. hearing the words from you makes him exceptionally giddy, you make him happy, you make him so happy, oh chenle is so glad to have you in his life.

happy ending or not, at least he finally knows what you feel for him.

"i love you too" he whispers, his voice getting stuck in his throat, the shock doesn't wear off that quickly, unfortunately. you reach over for his hands, intertwining your fingers with his. it feels so right, chenle could just be like this forever, and everything would be fine.

as long as he's with you, everything will be fine.

you hum at the response, a red color dusting your cheeks. you could just barely stifle your giggle, and it's simply amazing to chenle. you're just as giddy about him as he is about you.

oh chenle loves you so much.

you look up at the sky once again, eyes lighting up at the sight of the aligned stars. "andromeda has always been your favorite, right?"

chenle wants to faint, you remembered. "yeah".

you smile, your smile is beautiful.

you're a desperate man, zhong chenle.

he can't exactly disagree with that.

"you have good taste".

"you flatter me too much".

you finally looks back down, snickering as you squeeze chenle's hands. you lean forward and press a kiss to chenle's lips, it's simply a peck, but chenle loves it. "you deserve it".

chenle wants to squeal like a teenage girl with a crush, you're so cute, you're so adorable, he loves you, he loves you so much.

maybe you can't make it work now, not in this universe at least, but there could be another universe, another timeline where it does work, where it doesn't have to end like this.

chenle is upset it can't be this universe, but this is just how life works. knowing that he can't change his fate, knowing that he will go through with this marriage, knowing that he probably has no true shot with you is all upsetting, but he'll learn how to deal with it, at least you're still by his side.

at least your still in his life, he's grateful for that.

and when he sees you giggle once again, his heart warms. as long as you're happy, that's all that matters.

#zhong chenle #chenle #nct #nct dream #nct u #chenle nct #chenle nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream drabbles #nct dream scenarios #chenle imagines #chenle scenarios #nct x reader #nct x male reader #nct dream x reader #nct dream x male reader #zhong chenle x reader #zhong chenle x male reader #𑁍 ࣪˖ 𓂃 isa's works!

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mushyposts · 2 months ago

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WOAH! THE CREW???? THE CREW FROM HIT FANFICTION NO THING DEFINES A MAN LIKE LOVE??? WOAH WOAH WOAH??? Anyway yes omg its them!!! This took me so long and im so tired but look at my ANGELS!

UM! Friendly reminder that I myself am not Inuit/Indigenous! I did research + had an Indigenous person helping me w the tattoos, but if theres anything wrong/disrespectful pls do let me know and I will fix it. All the tattoos r on a seperate layer so it'll be an easy fix and one i am more then happy to do. A few of the designs changed between this and my written description, so... Oops?? Especially Morqa. I got carried away ok.... ANYWAY I have some little notes abt their designs here and there so! Kaiqa: He used to have shorter bangs around his face but they annoyed him so he tried to let them grow out but that annoyed him so he would cut them again and then try to let them grow out and now he just has perpetual baby hairs that wont get any longer. Mikla: UM. Not much to say here. Isnt he pretty tho?? Buteq: SOMEHOW ENDED UP THE MOST MAJESTIC MAN EVER. HELLO?? The two beads on the right are for his nieces and the one on the left is for his sister! Neter: One time he got super cocky abt being 7 years older then Nitya which meant he was a better fighter and so Nitya was like "yeah?? ok bet." and then punched him and broke his nose and was like "hm where are those warrior reflexes?" so now Neter has a permanently bent nose. Sorqai: He got the scar thats through his beard in the same raid that cause Nitya and Konait (Kaiqas older brother) to die. Nitya died trying to get Konait and some other kids out of the mess, and Sorqai got injured trying to get to them to help. He's mostly numb on that side of his face due to nerve damage ! Causes him to lisp a bit, especially w the chipped tooth (which he got from tripping) Natai: He wears both his own and Nitya's necklaces their parents made them, and intends to only take of Nitya's and let it go into the ocean where he was buried when the war is over. His own way of keeping Nitya involved in the war effort, something that was really important to him. Kutai: Again, no real notes here but isnt he pretttyyy..... Kovak: Honestly, very likely one of my favourite character designs I've ever made. Im kind of obsessed with him. He doesnt wear his necklace from his parents because he wasnt on good terms with them at all while they were alive. He took it off before they died, and hasnt been able to bring himself to put it back on. he intends to give it to his kid when he gets back. Mori: UM! I dont have a lot of notes here. Mori has two kids ! Hence the three tattoos under their chin, I saw an inuit creator/source say that sometimes people will add lines as they have kids and I thought that was really lovely so yes!! Again im just. I think hes so pretty. Luqait: Im so sorry king I did u dirty posting this after that one chapter. Each one of the beads he wears is dedicated to someone he knew in the tribe who died, theres more not visible on the other side of the braids. I can say for 100% certainty theres one for Kya and Nitya. Saila: Saila was actually a design i struggled a lot with, but I think I got them to a point im happy with!!! They're a good amount intense, androgynous and also have that amber flash in their eyes. The amber comes from having Fire Nation somewhere in their ancestry, something I dont think will really come up in the fic, but a detail I think is good to know! Morqa: I changed Morqa's design the most, especially his hair! But I think he's ended up being a design I am most proud of. The piercings especially!! Eventually u will run out of space (that we can see ig??) king but today is not that day godbless.

OKAY! THERE WE GO... I HOPE EVERYONE LIKES THEM UM PLS BE NICE AND DONT REPOST AND IDK JUST.... I HOPE U LIKE THEM AS MUCH AS I DO i know oc's in fics arent always peoples favourites but the reception of these guys has been like. Beyond mindblowing. Im so fucking excvited and happy everytime people in my comments talk about how much they love the characters i've created. Like.... The fact that people enjoy the OC's and not just for what the give to Zuko, but for what they give to each other and their own individual stories is so incredible to me. I hope u guys like this and I hope it helps u visualise them better!! : D

#mushy rambles #no thing defines a man like love fic #atla #avatar: tla #atla fanfics #avatar fic #atla fic

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luvhughes43 · 2 years ago

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boyfriend | quinn hughes x actress!reader

request: Quinn fic or insta edit where everyone thinks y/n is dating jack because she’s always around him or in the back of his pictures but it’s just bc reader and quinn are both pretty private about it 🤭

note: i changed it up a bit but i hope u like it!

njdevils

liked by ynoffical, _quinnhughes, and others

njdevils VAN vs NJD, actress yn ln joined us today to drop the first puck of the game! stay tuned🏒😈

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fan01 OMG???

ynoffical i had so much fun! thank u for having me❤️

fan02 yn in her hockey era?

fan03 now hear me out... her and jack hughes..

jackhughes

liked by _quinnhughes, nicohischier, and others

jackhughes this weekend📸✌🏻

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fan04 what is yn doing with jack hughes

lhughes_06 now hold on...🤨

fan05 JACK HUGHES AND YN CONFIRMED???

trevorzegras yaba daba doooo☕️

fan06 IS THAT YN LN ON THE LAST SLIDE???

_quinnhughes 💙💙

ynoffical

liked by _quinnhughes, hallebailey, and others

ynoffical thank you so much theacademy for having me at this years 95th oscars ceremony! i had so much fun and i am so proud of my wonderful costars and peers for the amazing work everyones been doing🫶

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hallebailey stunning

ynoffical miss u🥲

fan07 where's jack hughes?

florencepugh you look gorgeous❤️❤️

ynoffical thank youu! you were beautiful!💙💙

fan06 the blue emojis... do u know who else uses blue heart emojis...🧐

fan08 MOTHER!!!! YOU LOOK SO GOOD😭🙏💗

ynoffical

liked by zendaya, _quinnhughes, and others

ynoffical some behind the scenes from the past week..🤭

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madelyncline soft launching [blank] i see...🤭🤭

ynoffical 🤭🤭

fan08 WHOO??? WTF?? ISTG IS IT JACK??

_quinnhughes glad u had a good time at the oscars

ynoffical i had a lot of fun after too ! 🤭

fan09 are we all just going to ignore this comment or...?

fan10 she's dating jack hughes = confirmed

jackhughes who's that guy in the last picture?🤔

fan11 OH ITS DEFINITELY HIM LETS GOOOO

_quinnhughes

liked by ynoffical, jackhughes, and others

_quinnhughes giggling? i think thats what the girls are doing nowadays

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ynoffical WHY ARE U EXPOSING ME😭😭

_quinnhughes u look cute wdym!

ynoffical you're lucky i like you.

_quinnhughes only like?🤔🤭

fan12 WAIT WHAT???

fan13 HAS SHE BEEN DATING YOU THIS WHOLE TIME???

jackhughes finally !

_quinnhughes 🧍‍♂️

jackhughes dont lie i know you've seen my insta comments lately

trevorzegras LETS GO QUINNY🔥🔥

lhughes_06 i can't believe quinn is actually dating someone famous

bboeser its unnatural

ynoffical

liked by _quinnhughes, madelyncline, and others

ynoffical since were exposing each other here's a hard launch ! (and no i am not dating jack hughes)

tagged: _quinnhughes

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jackhughes super cute _quinnhughes

ynoffical NO BECAUSE WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE IM HOLDING HIM HOSTAGE??? HE LOVES ME I SWEAR😭😭

madelyncline my favourite couple ever🫶

ynoffical i love u sm😭💙

fan14 YN AND QUINN OH WOW😭🙏

lhughes_06 there's no way

_quinnhughes luke you've literally met her?😭

_quinnhughes I love you💙💙

ynoffical i love you !💙

fan15 can't believe youve been in love with quinn this whole time and everyone was saying u were with jack😭

#quinn hughes blurb #quinn hughes x reader #quinn hughes imagine #quinn hughes #quinn hughes insta edit #luke hughes x reader #jack hughes x reader #nhl fanfiction #nhl imagine #nhl fic #nhl blurb #trevor zegras x reader

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averycutesalamander · 1 month ago

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HELLO my first fic is finally done!!!! im posting some of the intro under the cut, but the whole thing is up on AO3!! (pls dont look at the word count it's really embarrassing)

It’s days like this that make Boothill consider giving up on his hunt.

Well, consider is too strong a word; it’s only ever a passing fancy, a brief flicker of doubt that he discards immediately. He’s a man on a mission, after all, and he’s nothing if not determined. He's proud of his ruthless optimism in the face of adversity; it's kept him going this long. Still, he’s willing to admit that work like his isn’t all sunshine, and certainly has its rainy days – this one definitely included.

He’s finally on his way home after an exceptionally long and frustrating job, one that seemed engineered to piss him off, one that he failed, and he’s eager to get back to your shared apartment, clean up, recharge, and spend some desperately needed time with you. He’d sent you a message to let you know he was on his way back a few system hours ago, and you’d excitedly responded with a string of emojis so long it filled his entire phone screen. The hour is rather late for you to be up – not terribly late, but enough that he's lucky you're awake.

He’s exhausted and frustrated and filthy and he absolutely reeks; he didn’t have the time to clean up before heading back, and frankly, even if he did, he thinks he might’ve combusted on the spot if he spent another second on that god-forsaken bog of a planet. As he climbs the stairs up to the apartment, he's nearly tempted to collapse on them and pass out for a few hours, but the urge to see you keeps him moving.

“I’m home, sweetpea,” he calls as the door shuts behind him. He retracts the spurs on his ankles and sluggishly wipes his feet on the mat – a habit you’d been sure to instill in him the moment the two of you started living together. (“You always track in so much dirt! And no, just because you technically don't wear boots doesn't mean you don't have to wipe off the mud,” you scolded him. “Maybe I should start making you clean it up.” That straightened him out real quick.) His hat is hung in its designated spot next to your favorite jacket, looking exceptionally out of place considering the grime that coats it.

He slumps against the door, utterly drained, then tilts his head at your lack of response. You’re home and awake, he knows that much; your usual shoes are by the door, and he can hear movement in the kitchen. A tantalizing smell radiates into the entryway, and he’s willing to bet it’s some kind of stew; you always make it on days that you know he’s coming home.

He turns the corner around the kitchen and finds you with your back to him, busy with something on the stove, then sees why you hadn't answered him; you've got your headphones on, moving to a beat he can just barely hear, muttering along to it under your breath. His lips quirk, fondness unfurling in his chest; a little spark of mischief arrives on its coattails, chasing away his exhaustion for the moment. He steps lightly onto the tile, quieter than he needs to be, eyes glimmering. Closer, closer, closer he creeps, until he's towering behind you, just within reach. With a glance, he makes sure you aren't holding anything too important, and then–

You squeal in surprise as his arms snake around your waist, hauling you back against his chest with unyielding strength. With a mighty squirm, you whip around to identify your attacker, and your face lights up so perfectly that if he wasn't grinning before, he certainly is now. You laugh in delight, rushing to shake off your headphones and shove them onto the counter. The moment your hands are free, you leap against him in earnest, hard enough that he'd stumble if he weren't made of metal.

You curl your arms tightly around his shoulders, wrapping your legs around his hips in a death grip like you’re trying to crush him, as you always do. His hands slip down beneath your thighs to support you in your efforts, as he always does.

Either you don't notice how filthy he is (very hard to believe) or you don't care, because you pepper his face with kisses relentlessly. By the time you're done with your assault, he's chuckling, all dazed and giddy, his weariness melting away at your touch. Cupping your hands around his face, you beam at him, eyes shining.

“Hi, honeybee,” you say, a little breathless.

“Hey there, buttercup,” he answers with a squeeze on your thighs. He resists the urge to rub his cheek against yours as he usually does, conscious of the grime that coats him like a second skin. “Did ya miss me that much?”

You scoff and roll your eyes as dramatically as you can manage. “Like you even need to ask. Feels like it’s been forever.” You pinch his cheeks, then laugh as he nips at your fingers. “How was the mission?”

He groans, and he isn't even exaggerating. (read more on ao3 !!)

#boothill #boothill x reader #hsr x reader #hsr #honkai star rail #x reader #reader insert #sal.txt #very excited for some of my future fics!! i have so many things planned it's absurd lol #Darling Daisies; Busy Bees

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neptunes-curse · 2 years ago

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How They All Found Out || ER

You and Eddie were doing a good job of sneaking around with your realationship. But slowly, as you two start to fall more and more in love, it gets harder to hide your feelings from the band.

pairings: Eddie Roundtree x Fem!reader

warnings: me messing with the timeline for the fic’s sake, cussing, talks of kids in the future, allusions to sex

authors note: Djats is my new favorite thing. Let me know if you guys have any other requests, i’d be happy to write them.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ��

You and Eddie starting seeing eachother on the break of the SevenEightNine tour. It was perfect timing, you didn’t have to hide, since it was always just the two of you. You got along so well, It felt like you were the only people in the world. Nothing else mattered. The two of you would lie in bed all day, no worries but eachother. It was all perfect. That was, until, Billy got out of Rehab and the band got together again. Then everything got hard.

Eddie Roundtree (Rhythm Guitarist): That first month or two, man, those were the days. Just me and my girl, nothing else to worry about. It was all so easy. And don’t get me wrong, when we [the band] got back together, I was thrilled. It just meant things would get harder for Y/n and me.

You and Eddie were lying in bed together one morning, the sun shining through the windows of your now shared bedroom. Your head was lying on his chest while his hand rested on your lower back. The only thing you were wearing was (his) a tshirt and your underwear. It was a perfect, peaceful scene. But, inside your head, everything was the opposite. Billy had just gotten out of Rehab. Which would normally be good, but all it did was make things more complicated. The band would start practicing again. And you didn’t want what you had with Eddie to just stop. You hadn’t talked about what you were, but you were sure he would want to stay together. He acted like your boyfriend. And that was all the mattered, right?

“Eddie, what do you think will happen when we start practicing again?” You asked, tentatively. You had been thinking about asking this question for a while. If Eddie was going to end it, you wanted it over with. Rip the band-aid off, right? He turned his head toward you and smiled slightly. “Well, what do you want to do?” He started, “I mean, I dont want to stop this. I like you, a whole lot.” You felt your face heat up. You felt like a 13-year-old girl with her first crush, but you didn’t care. Eddie had that effect on you. You replied, “Me too. It’s just- Would you mind if we don’t tell the others? Just for a while.”

Y/N L/N (Bassist): When you’re a woman in a band, people say a lot of shitty things to you. They’ll question your ability to play, say others are better than you. Back then, what other people thought meant a lot to me. I didn’t want to be “Eddie Roundtree’s Girlfriend.” I wanted to be known as me.

You could see his smile falter. You didn’t want this, but it was for the best. The best for you, atleast. You’d still have lots of time together, right? Everything would be the same. That’s what you kept telling yourself.

“Yeah, sure. As long as I get to keep kissing you.” Eddie said. You were glad he was taking it well. He puts a smirk on leans over to kiss you. You laugh and put both your hands on the side of his face to pull him in. He adjusts himself to be on top of you.

Maybe this would work out better than you thought.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Practice with the band has been going great. It was four months after Billy had gotten back. He was doing a lot better, and you were proud of him. You guys were playing more than ever, just trying to make up for lost time. That meant waking up early and staying in the studio til the late hours of the night.

The downside of this was that you and Eddie got less and less time together. You could see his longing glances across the studio, when the rest of the band was there. He just wanted to be together, which you could understand. You would take every opportunity possible to sneak into his room, most times just to talk. You wanted to be near him, to hear his voice and feel his touch. It was getting increasingly harder to not do so in front of others.

One night, after a long practice, you were struggling to sleep. It had been happening for nights and nights in a row. You weren’t sure why, most likely due to all the stress of the rehearsals. You had tried everything from counting sheep, flipping yor pillow, you even smoked a cigarette or two. But nothing helped. After tossing and turning for what seemed like hours, you decided you would head into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

You slowly rolled out of your bed, your feet touching the cold floor beneath you as you walked to your door. You quietly opened the door, slipping out of your bedroom. The last thing you wanted was to wake the whole house up at this hour. Quickly, you scurried into the kitchen. You stuck your hands out to feel around for the cabinet holding the cups. But, instead of your hands finding a knob, you felt a mop of soft, blonde hair.

“What the hell,” Eddie quickly turned around to face you, loudly shutting the cabinet holding the glassware. “Eddie!” You scolded him for being so loud. You placed a hand over his mouth, symbolizing for him to be quiet. He tried to stifle a laugh as he grabbed the hand in front of his mouth, encasing it in his much larger hand. “Funny seeing you here, baby.” Eddie smirked as he placed one hand firmly on your hip, still holding one of your hands. You laughed quietly, a smile reserved only for him starting to appear on your face. He leaned down to kiss you on the forehead. “I’ve missed you.” Eddie said. You laughed quietly, quickly responding, “I saw you five hours ago, remember?” He rolls his eyes at you. “Not like that. I miss being alone with you.” He says suggestively. He slowly starts tracing patterns on your hand with his thumb.

“Well, we have alone time right now… why not make good use of it?” You smirk. Eddie leaned down to kiss your jaw, moving down until he reached your neck. Your wrapped your hands around his neck, slightly turning your head to give him better access. You were fully wrapped up in the kisses before you realized where you were. He was kissing you in the middle of the kitchen! Anyone could walk in! “Eddie,” you started, but he ignored your call. “Eddie!” you said it much louder this time, but not loud enough for anyone else to hear. He stopped his trail of kisses, leaning his forehead against yours. He was so close to your lips, if he leaned in any further they would touch.

“We shouldn’t be doing this right now. Atleast not here.” You said. You bit your lip immediately after, pulling back your words. You knew it wasn’t right, but you missed him so much you couldn’t help it. “I know you don’t mean that.” Eddie said, tauntingly. He pulled a hand up to your lip, untucking it from under your teeth. “You bite your lip when you lie, sweetheart. You’re not very good at it.” He whispers to you. What happens next, you couldn’t control. You crashed your lips into his, hungrily looking for more.

Eddie places his hands under your thighs, and you jump up, wrapping your legs around him. His hands trace circles on your bare skin, making your heart jump. While your lips are still on his, he carries you to the counter, placing you down in front of him. His body is between your legs. Eddie is kissing down your neck, leaving light hickeys wherever he wants too. Those will be a problem for tomorrow. But right now, you’re fully in the moment. His hands are now under your shirt, and you can feel your heartbeat rising.

You’d been waiting for this forever. At this point, you’d forgotten you were in the middle of the kitchen. You needed him, and he needed you. The last time you were able to be together like this was weeks ago. All the pent-up tension between the two of you was being released with each kiss. Eddie grabs the end of your shirt, signalling for you to take it off. You do, and he kisses your shoulders and chest. But all the sudden, he stops. You look down at him, confused.

“Eddie? Eddie what happen-“

“Woah.” Warren says, startling you.

You turn your head, your face displaying total shock. Of course, someone would walk in! Just your luck. You quickly pull your shirt over your head and hop off the counter. This would take some explaining.

“You guys? You guys are hooking up?” Warren continues. His mouth is wide open. He’s laughing, rather loudly too. “I would’ve never guessed, man!”

The three of you stand there, all in total shock, for about a minute.

Warren Rojas (Drummer): It was crazy. I mean, we all knew they [Y/n and Eddie] had something. But I would’ve never known they’d been fucking. I always wondered why they didn’t tell anyone.

“So,” Eddie said. He looked at you for guidance.

“Please don’t tell anybody, Warren. Please.” You were practically begging him. You looked at him with your best puppy dog eyes and pleading smile. You could feel Eddie brushing his fingers against yours, almost for comfort.

“You guys don’t have to worry about me. I‘ll keep your secret.” He said. “I better be best man at the wedding, though.” Warren laughed.

“It’s not-“ Eddie said.

“Yeah, yeah. Can I atleast get some food though?” He said motioning to where you guys were standing, blocking the fridge.

You both nodded and scooted over very akwardly. You looked up at Eddie and all you could do was laugh, leaning into him. You placed your head on his chest, and he reached his hand up to cradle the back of your head. You were both laughing quietly. The situation was really ridiculous. You had been so careful, you never thought you would get caught. But it’s only one person who knows, right? And Warren wouldn’t dare tell anybody.

When Warren finished with whatever he was getting from the fridge, he started to walk away. When he was almost to his door, he turned to face you and Eddie. He looked like he wanted to say something but decided against it. He settled with an akward wave. With that, Warren was gone.

“So, where were we…” Eddie said, slowly starting to kiss yor jaw. You put your hands out, putting space between the two of you.

“I’d rather not have the entire band walk in on us, Eds.” You say. Your decision still stands, about not wanting the whole world to know of you and Eddie’s realationship. If you could even call it that, really. “But, maybe if we went to one of our bedrooms…” You trail off. Eddie doesn’t have to hear anymore. He is dragging you off to his room.

Eddie Roundtree: That was a good night for me. For us. I think it really made me realize what I wanted for us. Y/n still didn’t want to come out in the open with our realationship, which I understood. But that didn’t mean we couldn’t have something just between us. So I asked her to be my girlfriend that night. And she said yes. *smiles*

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

About two months or so after the Warren incident, the band was back in the studio recording. You were working with Teddy Price again. It was a miracle he let you back, considering how terribly the last tour ended. He suggested you bring in a new voice, someone who could bring more traction to the band. He suggested Daisy Jones. So, the band got to work on your new song Aurora, with the help of the wonderful Daisy.

One late night, the whole band was out with Daisy at Chateau Marmont. It was one of her many parties, which were always marvelous. You were wearing a short black skirt, matched with a white halter top with red floral detailing. You put together this outfit especially for a lipstick you wanted to wear, that was gifted to you by Karen, for your birthday. It was a gorgeous deep red color that complimented your skin perfectly.

You arrived at the Chateau a little later than everyone else, and you quickly found who you were looking for. Eddie. You made your way across the room to him. His face lit up with an all too familiar boyish smile. Eddie was standing alone next to the drinks, nursing a beer. He reached down to the cooler and grabbed you one, popping it open for you.

“Here you go, Y/n.” Eddie said while holding out his hand with the open beer. You took it with a smile.

“I’ve been looking for you all night, baby. Where have you been?” said Eddie. He takes a quick sip of his beer, admiring you. You can see his eyes flick up and down, from your legs up to your face. You could tell they lingered on your chest, which was exactly what you wanted. “I like this shirt.” He says, winking. You scan the room, making sure nobody is watching. You slowly take his hand and place a sloppy kiss on his lips. You start to lead him into a close bathroom.

“Are you sure Y/n? I mean we just got here, and you said you still wanted to keep us a secret.” Eddie says, looking at you concerningly. But you can tell, by how Eddie is looking at you and how he’s standing, with one hand holding yours and the other tight on your ass, that he really wants to sneak into the bathroom aswell. He was looking out for you, which was always something you admired about him. He was always considerate.

“It’ll be quick.” You smirk. You both make it into the restroom. You turn and lock the door behind you.

Around 30 minutes later, Eddie emerges from the bathroom. You both decided he would go first, just in case someone you two knew was by the door. This way nobody would become suspicious. He walks out back into the party, which has gained guests and volume while the two of you were away. He navigates through the crowd to find another beer. While searching for that, he finds two people from the band. Karen and Daisy were standing in the corner together. They wave Eddie over and he walks towards them.

“Hey Eddie, where have you been?” Says Karen. Daisy and Karen both smile at him, whilst exchanging looks. Eddie doesn’t catch it at first. He starts a conversation with them. But soon, after a while, Karen and Daisy burst out into a fit of laughter.

“What, what is it?” Eddie says, irriatated. Are they laughing at him? He hasn’t done anything embarrassing. Karen and Daisy don’t answer his question, they just continue to giggle.

“What’s funny?” Eddie restates himself. Now, he is just as much confused as he is annoyed. Did Billy tell them something? At this point, he was ready to leave and find somebody else to talk to. He was just about to walk away when Daisy grabs his hand.

“No, Eddie, wait,” She says between laughs, “We’ll tell you what’s funny.”

So, he turns backs around and crosses his arms. He could be doing much better things than being laughed at by two band mates. He looks around the room, impatiently waiting for their answer.

“Did you realize you have lipstick on your face, Eddie? Red lipstick?” Daisy says.

Oh.

That’s what they were laughing at.

“And it looks an awful lot like the one I got Y/n for her birthday.” Karen adds.

Karen Sirko (keyboardist): Oh my God! It was hilarious! Eddie comes out, and he has lipstick everywhere. His lips, his neck. And at first I was like, “Oh, good for him.” but then I realized that it was Y/n’s lipstick! The one i got her for her birthday, even. God, that was the highlight of my week.

Eddie reaches a hand up to his lips, and sure enough, deep, red lipstick residue is on his hands. The trail goes down his neck, too. He keeps trying to rub it off to the best of his ability. He laughs akwardly, looking down. Daisy senses the akwardness and tries to comfort him.

“Hey, i’m really happy for you guys. You two will be a great match, i’m sure.” She smiles, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

Eddie looks up, smiling back at her. “Would it be okay if you guys didn’t tell anybody for now? We aren’t ready to tell everyone yet.” He says.

Daisy Jones (vocals): Eddie and Y/n? They were adorable. You could just tell that he was in love with her. When he would play, the only person his eyes went to was Y/n. As for Y/n, she was the same. When he walked into the room, you could see her smile. If I wanted my future to be like anyone’s, It would probably be their’s.

Karen and Daisy both nod. Eddie felt really bad about them finding out. Y/n had asked him to keep it a secret and he was dumb and messed it up. But, hey, Warren already knows. So two more people shouldn’t be so bad? And Eddie trusts Karen. He wasn’t sure about Daisy yet, but Y/n seemed to love her. He’d have to tell Y/n soon.

Y/n L/n: I wasn’t mad at all. It was really my fault for not noticing the lipstick. I helped him wipe it off after that, and I have to admit, he looked really silly. I can’t believe he left the bathroom looking like that.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

It was Julia’s first birthday. Camila had put together a celebration with balloons, banners, and an adorable little pink cake. It was all out together in their new house’s backyard. They had a housewarming party a while ago. It was one of the best parties you’d ever been too. Being surrounded by friends who loved you always made you feel better.

At Julia’s party, you and Eddie were playing with her. She had brought a couple Barbies outside and was acting out a scene with them. You and Eddie were doing it with her, going along with whatever she says. “We go swim!” Julia moves her Barbie over to a nearby puddle, grabbing both your hands and making you move yours over too. “Weeeeee!” Julia makes the Barbies jump up and down in the puddle. While they were jumping, she moves them around wildly in your direction and they splash your sundress.

“Woah! Julia!” You say, holding her hand to settle her down. “You got me all wet!” You joke, fake scolding. She giggles, apologizing, “I’m sorry Aunt Y/n!” You smile at her. How could you be mad at such a cute face? You grab Julia’s hand while standing up, and point in her dad’s direction. “It’s okay, Jules. Why don’t you go find your dad while I go clean up?” She follows your directions and runs over to her father, Billy.

You stand up, swiftly brushing the dirt and grime off your hands and dress.

“You’re really good with Julia, Y/n” Eddie says.

You smile widely at him, laughing happily. “You think so? I always imagined myself with kids when I was younger.”

“It just got me thinking. We could do that one day.” Eddie says, looking down at you fondly.

“Have kids?” You ask. It was true, you always thought you’d have a family. Two, even three kids. Maybe a dog, too. But that was all back in Pittsburgh. You weren’t sure if that life would fit into your life style now.

“Yeah. Big house, white picket fence. Some kids running around. Wouldn’t you like that, Y/n?” He says. You two were dangerously close, in the middle of Billy and Camila’s yard. Everyone you knew was there. But at the moment, it only felt you and Eddie were present. It was like the world closed in on you, and it was just him and you left. You liked the close, intimate feel. Even though you had been dating for around a year, you had never talked about your future outside of being in the band.

“Yeah, I think I would like that.” You say happily. You liked this side of Eddie. The warm, inviting side. You really were beginning to see a future with the blonde. The two of you stood, in the middle of the yard, just looking into each other’s eyes. Words didn’t need to be spoken. It was a silent “I love you”.

Eddie Roundtree: Yeah, I remember that day. She just looked so beautiful, playing with Jules. She was so kind, always was. You couldn’t help but love her. *smiles*

You are quickly snapped out of the moment by Camila calling to you.

“Hey, Y/n!” Camila says. She walks up to you and frowns. “I heard about your dress. I’m so sorry, i’ll talk to Jules after the party.” She apologizes.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll just wash it when I get home.” You respond. You look down at your blue sundress, taking a look at all the muddy spots. “I think i’ll go inside and try to find a washcloth. I’ll try to get some of the mud out.” You say. Camila nods.

“I’ll come with you!” She exclaims. You flash Eddie a sweet smile goodbye, and he winks in return. Eddie turns to go talk to Graham as you go inside with Camila. As soon as you shut the door, Camila starts to smile suspiciously.

“You and Eddie, hm?” She questions. You freeze, simply in shock. You were going to have to dig yourself out of a big hole. Plus, you were never good at lying, especially to Camila. It was like she could see through people. You always envied it about her.

“What do you mean, Cami?” You ask. You begin to make you way to the sink, avoiding her eyes.

“Don’t try to fool me. I see the way he looks at you, Y/n. It’s like you hung the stars and put the moon in the sky. He loves you.” Camila smiles. She digs through the drawers of her kitchen before handing you a white washcloth.

“I don’t,” You start. The question had totally caught you off guard. Was it love? Had you fallen in love with Eddie Roundtree? “I don’t know how he feels.” You stutter. Guess there is no hiding it now.

You begin to wet the washcloth, but your mind is anywhere besides this room. Is Camila right? You always knew you had something special with Eddie. But you’d never thought about it this much to be honest. With the baby conversation today and Camila’s conversation with you right now, you are seriously considering it. Things between you and the blonde wasn’t just hooking up anymore and it hasn’t been for a long time. It felt as if things were suddenly gettin for serious, and you were not going to say no to it.

“Well I think I know how you feel.” The girl says, poking you in the side. You laugh with her, moving your hip out of her reach. You shake your head in response, but the radiant smile on your face tells otherwise.

When you recover from the laughter fit, you begin to blot the muddy fabric of your dress with the cloth. Cami settles down as well. She peeks out the window and smiles, “Looks like everyone is about to sing happy birthday. I better go get the candles. Come out in a second, yeah?” She says. You nod, waving her goodbye.

Just before she is about to walk out the door, she turns around and teases, “Oh, and Eddie will be out there, too. You might want to hurry.” She winks at you mischievously before shutting the door and hurrying over to where Julia and Billy were.

Camila Dunne: Oh, Gosh, they were an amazing couple. I would’ve never known, but once I did, it just felt so obvious. They were perfect together, and I mean it. You could just tell by the way they looked at eachother. As soon as his eyes fell on Y/n, they turned into hearts. And vice versa.

Normally, you would be freaking out. You just gave away the secret of your realationship to yet another person. But right now you were on cloud 9. Eddie Roundtree might love you. And you might love him back.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

When Aurora was finally finished, the entire band was thrilled. Everyone had working together, and it turned out perfectly. You could feel it was about to be a big hit. The single, Look At Us Now, was already topping the charts. You had Daisy’s and Billy’s perfect vocal chemistry to thank for that.

Everybody was getting ready for the album cover shoot. It had been scheduled for weeks. After much bickering from Daisy and Billy, they decided on a desert shoot. The whole band was wearing tan, blue, and brown costumes, some more extravagant than others.

You and Eddie, though, had different plans. You snuck into his room late the night before. Everyone was staying in a hotel, as the photo shoot location was about 3 hours out of town and nobody wanted to drive that far so early. So, while everyone was getting ready, you and Eddie were lying in bed together, enjoying the solitude of the morning.

You were brushing stray hairs out of his face, to make sure you could see his beautiful eyes. Atleast you always thought they were beautiful. He was looking right back at you, with a dopey grin on his face. “I love you, Y/n.” He whispered. And you whispered it back.

After ten more minutes of this lovesick haze, you sat up, grabbing your watch that layed onnthe bedside table. Your face froze with shock.

“Shit, Shit, Shit! Eddie, it’s already 9:30. We were supposed to be down five minuetes ago!” With those words, the two of you flew out of bed, hurrily throwing on coats and blouses and brushing knotted hair from last night’s activities.

Meanwhile, downstairs, everyone was waiting on you two. Daisy, Karen, Warren, Camila, Billy, even Julia, all sat downstairs around a couple tables. They had finished breakfast a while ago, as it was now 9:45.

“Okay, where the fuck are they?” Billy said, tapping his foot. Karen and Daisy shared a look, Warren snickered, and Camila avoided his gaze. But Graham was clueless.

“I’ll go get them. I’m done eating anyway.” The younger Dunne brother said, hopping out of his seat next to Karen. He walks up to the elavator and steps inside, pressing the button of the band’s floor.

Meanwhile, you and Eddie were still frantically trying to get ready. You were applying a nude lipstick while Eddie buttoned up his shirt. You were no where near ready and you figured time was running out.

Suddenly, there is a knock on the door. You both freeze, making eye contact in the mirror.

“Probably just maintenance.” You reason.

“Yeah, just maintenance.” He agrees.

But you both quickly found out you were wrong when Graham’s voice sounded from the other side of the door. “Eddie, man, get up! You’re already thirty minutes late for photos.”

Oh, so it wasn’t maintenance. It was Graham. And Graham didn’t know. You and Eddie had started to consider telling everyone for good, but it had been so easy how it already was. You had settled into a routine of secrecy. It would just be so much harder to stop.

Graham knocks again, sounding impatient. You quickly pull out a curling iron to atleast get half your hair done while Eddie rushes to the door.

“Hey, just give me five more minutes.” He says before shutting the door in his face. Your boyfriend quickly rushes over to you in the bedroom, as you had given up on the hair curling idea after the front two pieces.

“What are we going to do, Ed?” you ask. He places a reassuring hand on your cheek, brushing a piece of hair away from your face.

“I’ll go out first. I’ll talk to Graham for a little before moving on downstairs. Then, he’ll go to your room next door and knock. You’ll slip out of here and try to walk a little ways down the hall so he doesn’t notice you came out of my room. Just pretend you were getting ice or something.” He says. You nod, trying hard to listen to exactly what he says.

When Eddie finishes speaking, you place a gentle kiss on his cheek. “For good luck.” you say. He smiles and embraces you quickly before heading for the door, motioning for you to hide on the other side of the room.

“Sorry about that Graham. Woke up late.” You can hear Eddie say from the other side of the wall. You press your ear up against the wallpaper trying to listen to more.

“I get it. I’m going to knock on Y/n’s door too. She must’ve overslept as well.” He pats Eddie on the shoulder before moving on to your door down the hall. You hear the steps of boots which you assume means he’s far enough away. You make your way to the door and open it very slowly. You manage to squeeze out of the half opened door. Now, you shut the door quietly before walking a little ways down the hall, like Eddie said.

“Hey, Y/n!” Graham calls out, and you stop in your tracks. “Where’d you come from?” He asks.

“I was just getting ice. Down the hall. At the ice machine.” You manages to sputter out. You’d never describe yourself as a nervous person, but right now, the nerves where like butterflies floating in your stomach, in your brain, and throughout your whole body. Graham furrows his brows at you, not very convinced by your efforts.

“I’m going to go ahead and get some breakfast.” You say quickly, speedwalking down the hallway. You thought you handled that pretty well.

Graham Dunne (Lead Guitar): She had come out of Eddie’s room. It was very obvious. Y/n was also always a terrible liar. I knew they were hooking up way before that ever even happened.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Karen Sirko: I think everyone knew they were in a realationship by that point. Daisy and I had a bet on when they would tell us.

Daisy Jones: It eventually came out when we were on tour, so Karen won technically. But they were just so shit at keeping secrets we all figured out a long time ago.

Warren Rojas: I was actually best man at Eddie’s and Y/n’s wedding. It was probably the best wedding i’ve ever been to. But don’t tell Lisa that. *winks*

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

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