#finnick odair sad

[wonderlandwalker]

He Knows Better | Finnick Odair x Reader

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Summary: Finnick tells himself not to get close to you, because what is the point? But when you survive your games he finds that he can't stop thinking about you. When he finally comes to see you, you're in pieces, and he swears to himself he will put you back together, no matter the costs. Find part 2 here: Should've Known

Content Warnings/Tags: Mentions of prostitution/sex trafficking, angst, Finnick deserving better, crying, bad representation of a panic attack, not proofread

Word Count: 1.6k

Requested by Anon: I loveeeee love love love your Finnick fic. It was the perfect mix of sweet and so angstyyyyy !! I'm having constant Finnick brainrot 😭 I was wondering what you think about writing a finnick × reader fic sort of loosely based on Hozier's "It Will Come Back" where reader is maybe a tribute or another Victor and the first person to show Finnick softness and kindness without asking for anything in return in so long and he's like "dont let me in with no intention to keep me" and "dont be kind to me" and he just is totally feral and obsessed with the reader ? You're such a talented writer !! ❤️❤️❤️

A/N: There is this Dutch expression which goes ‘the monkey comes out of the sleeve’ loosely meaning the hidden meaning is revealed and I couldn't for the life of me think of the English equivalent that made sense to me, so, well, I hope the story is coherent. As usual, divider by @saradika

He remembers first seeing you, you were so young, but to be fair, so was he. In previous years he had always become quick friends with the tributes he was supposed to mentor, how could he not? But it didn't take him long to figure out that they never made it back, and while the company was nice for a while, the hurt in the end wasn't worth it anymore. There's something about you that he can't quite place, but it doesn't matter, because he's not going to get attached. When you first stepped into the training hall you didn't look scared, you didn't even look excited, no, you looked like you had made peace. 

He didn't get to talk to you much, you spend most of your training with Mags, not learning how to fight, but learning how to survive. And every time he watched you, he watched how your eyes lit up when learned how to filter water, he watched how proud Mags was of you each time. And he felt something tugging at him, he felt a need to get to know you. But he knew better.

Because what were the odds, he had seen this before, he had done this before. No, he shouldn't get attached to you. And yet, for the first time after returning from his own, he found himself watching the games. Watching the tributes become fewer and fewer, hoping, praying, that you'd make it through. The fewer left the more desperate he became. You've gotten this far, don't let the luck run out just yet. He saw how your last opponent fell, and he saw your face in the centre of the screen, of virtually every screen. And once again, you didn't look excited, you looked like you had found peace again, and maybe, just maybe, he let himself believe he could too, that you could show him. 

He didn’t go see you after, it wouldn't be of any use. What more did he have to offer you, you did not need a mentor anymore. He had made peace, he had made peace with never seeing you again. So what was the difference if you were alive or not? That's what he thought, if he gave in now, he didn't think he'd ever be able to let go, it would keep coming back. 

It wasn't until a few months later when someone knocked on his door, and in a sleepy haze, he opened it without thinking. He had spent the night at the capitol, and he never managed to get much rest after. Usually, when he had been gone for the night, Mags would come to check in on him, and have Valerian tea with him. He doubted it actually worked, but the effort was enough to brighten his day. So he opened the door, but it wasn't Mags, it was you. Your face was fuller, it had more colour, but the bags under your eyes were still there. Would Mags bring you Valerian tea as well? No, no he needed to stop thinking about you. The last time he had actually seen you was when you won. He had forced himself to avoid you ever since, he hadn't been completely sure why anymore, but now he knew again. The way you looked at him gave him hope, hope he couldn't afford. “What do you want” he asked, he sounded upset, and in a way he was, but the way the sparkle in your eyes dimmed made him regret it. 

And so he opened the door further, stepping aside, and you didn't need more of an invitation before you walked in. You took a seat at his small kitchen table, and he decided it would be impolite not to join you, so he sat down as well. He was about to talk, but you beat him to the punch.

“Snow came to see me.” There is was he thought, the reason, everyone always had a reason. Still, he found himself allowing you to continue, wanting to hear your voice again, even if it brought bad news. 

“I talked to Mags about it, but she said I should come see you, so here I am.” You chuckled, but the situation was not something that asked for it, must be nerves, he thought, but why were you nervous, surely he didn't make you nervous. 

“Look, I don’t want to bother you with my problems Finnick, I know you're dealing with enough yourself, but I don’t know what else to do.” Your eyes glossed over, and you looked like you were about to start crying, but you didn't. He wanted to say something, to comfort you, but what was there to say? And so you two sat in silence, he was looking at you, he was memorizing your face. This was the last time he would let himself see you. He didn't want to get close to you, and with how mesmerizing you were to him, he knew better.

And yet, as days passed, he found himself thinking of you. Whenever he needed comfort, he thought of you, the way you smiled at him when he told you a nervous joke. He could get lost in the memory of your eyes, and more often than not, he did. Every day he spent without seeing you made his heart hurt. 

Without thinking, he found himself walking to your door. It was like he wasn't in control of his own feet. He was in constant agony with himself. He wanted to be with you, but your kindness was one he couldn't afford, because it had the power to break him. He knocked on your door, not even aware he was doing so until he heard the sound echo back to him. He heard rustling, but he didn't hear you approaching the door, so he knocked again, and for good measure, he decided to call out. “Y/n? It’s me, it’s Finnick”. He heard someone approach the door at that, and a little bit of hope sparked inside him that you wanted to see him as much as he wanted to see you, but he knew better. 

The door opened, but it wasn't you that he came face to face with, it was Mags. She was standing in your hallway with a sad smile on her face, and she didn't say anything, but she looked to the stairs on the right end corner. He didn't need any more encouragement, and he sped up them, taking two steps at a time. He knocked on the door he was in front of, but there wasn't an answer. But when he listened more closely, he could hear crying coming from the other side. You were crying. His mind was reeling with possibilities, but whatever it was that had caused this, he swore to himself he would fix it, even if it broke him. 

And so he entered the room, opening the door softly so as not to startle you, but it didn't matter. He saw you in the corner, you had pulled your knees to your chest and he couldn't see your face from where you had hidden it, but his heart broke over it nonetheless. He walked towards you, testing the waters, testing his luck. He was scared for you, but mostly, he was scared you wouldn't want to see him. When you heard him, your head shot up to look at him. The way in which your eyes were bloodshot and swollen made him want to punch a hole in the wall next to you. The way your voice cracked when you said his name made him want to curl up right next to you. he got closer to you, kneeling down in front of you. Allowing you to take the next steps on your own time.

After a few minutes, you had slightly calmed down while he was tracing patterns on your knee with his thumb. You spoke to him, but you didn't look him in his eyes.

“They’re bidding on me Finnick, they’re bidding on me like I’m something to possess”

The feeling of dread that came over him was something he had never felt before. He thought he had gone through all someone could. He thought there was nothing that could hurt him anymore in a way he didn't already, but he had been wrong. 

He was willing to do anything for you to be spared from this, but he knew it wasn't any use. 

He knew better. And so he did all he could, taking you in his arms and whispering reassuring words, until your crying and your shaking stopped, and you seemed at peace again. 

He had tried himself to get away from what snow had wanted, what the capitol had wanted, he tried everything he could think of, but he couldn't get away from it. He had made peace with the fact that people always wanted something from him, and maybe that's why he couldn't get you out of his head, because you were the only person that was at peace with him, without anything more, just him. So he told you the only thing he could. He told you he’d be there for you, that you’d get through it together. He wasn't sure if he believed it, but he knew it was what you needed to hear, it was what he had needed to hear, except there had been no one to tell him. He would spend the rest of his life wondering if you needed him.

But he won't shut you out again, he knows better.

Part 2: Should've Known

[everlarksquell]

might not be such a big deal but the fact that finnick lent his rope to katniss in the bunker and to peeta when coin sent him on the mission so they would keep themselves busy tying knots instead of thinking about their trauma is so important to me.

[thattransboyaled]

I hate that Finnick had to die because not only did he never get his happy ending that he deserved so much, it meant that Annie never got hers properly either. I love Everlark but it pains me every time I think about them coming home and Annie finding out that Katniss got her partner home safely and they got their happily ever after that she was so close to but will never get with Finnick. Finnick and Annie will forever haunt me.

[antoine-triplett]

“I’m the monster. I’m the mutt. I’m the one Snow has turned into a weapon!” “It’s not your fault, Peeta.”

[hashcakes]

I always said I didn't know my type.

I lied, its dead blondes.

(Why can't i tag finny, this is an insult)

[thegreatmelodrama]

We were robbed of seeing Finnick and Katniss scare Peeta by having their green and scabbed faces be the first thing he sees while waking up.

[solar-halos]

i think if thg characters were playing monopoly annie would steal the monopoly money but still lose anyway. finnick is the banker but he looks the other way bc she’s pretty. when johanna notices she just literally fucking pounces on annie. haymitch takes this as his opportunity to steal even more monopoly money. katniss is already asleep by the first few rounds bc she doesn’t like how long the game is taking. idk i just thought i should share that

[olya-roo]

The pointless-not death of Finnick Odair.

Saw many takes on how his death in Mockingjay was pointless, a shook value attempt, a mistake, unfair and how Suzanne should have never done that. But what if this death had a point to make and wasn’t added just to add some more drama to an already depressing book?

Finnick’s tragedy is that the point of his death is that not all the time death is something glorified or has a meaning. Sometimes you just… die.

His death was a pure, gruesome and realistic war casualty, which also showed that the war does not give a single damn about who is the readers’ favorite character or how much he “deserves” their happy ending.

Finnick no doubt earned and deserved one after being turned into a child prostitute, half going insane (Annie and Mags were his only support system) and then having the love of his life ripped away from him, when the happiness was just in the reach of a hand.

Yet the war happened and Finnick died, with his journey being cut short. Same for Lucy Gray - both were actually the victims of Snow and neither got a “honorable”, proper ending; one was torn by mutts and another one was wiped from history (she was also literally a child, only 16 y/o, never having a chance to actually LIVE and reach her full potential of life).

Hence that’s what Susanne Collins wanted to tell us - a death is not something that is paraded around, but a cut and dry casualty that can cut out your journey in the middle.

[voiddaisy]

i have this little idea in my head that whenever the victors talk to each other, and one asks how the other is doing, and the answer is really ‘not good at all,’ they instead say, “oh, you know. life of a victor.” and EVERYBODY just understands that means they are crashing and burning but there is nothing that can be done about it, so they just reply and agree, “life of a victor.” and for some reason, that solidarity of just understanding what each other is going through means so much to me.

[itsajollyjester]

Your Finnick as demisexual hc just destroyed me a little. Not only does it make sense it also makes what he went through worse somehow. 😭😭😭😭

I actually have had this headcanon that Finnick is a-spec longer than I've known I'm ace myself (same with Katniss)

And yeah, it definitely adds an awful layer :(

[thedelicatearcher]

my laptop broke down yesterday (luckily, i have everything saved on drive) but since i am not used to writing long fics on my phone, only expect short blurbs from me these days !!

btw if you have any blurb requests for finnick, katniss, peeta, (or everlark too) or lucy gray, my asks are open!!

[mariigoldzz]

is winning the hunger games even worth it?

One wrong move towards the Capitol and your entire family is dead. They might force you into prostitution if you have good looks. (Finnick.) You're left with crippling PTSD, and the families of the dead tributes probably despise you. (Especially if you came from a poorer district) You will be used as a propaganda tool for the rest of your life. You will prepare innocent children for A) death. B) to suffer for the rest of their lives, just as you are now. whatever happens to them must be your fault, because you're the mentor.

You will never EVER be able to escape these games. They come back every year. Kids die, Capitol sits back and enjoys.

Sure, you get to live the rest of your life filthy rich, but is it really worth coming home?

[everlarksquell]

« I thought the whole romance was an act on your part. We all expected you’d continue that strategy. But it wasn’t until Peeta hit the force field and nearly died that I—” […] “That I knew I’d misjudged you. That you do love him. I’m not saying in what way. Maybe you don’t know yourself. But anyone paying attention could see how much you care about him,” »

finnick was THE everlark truther and i’ll die on that hill.

[cutepastelstarsalior]

Suzanne Collins!!!!!

Give me a Finnick origin story and me life is yours

[jas0nluvr]

this is from so so long ago and probably have terrible writing errors but I love it so.

Dear Finnick,

I think of you a lot. It’s a lingering feeling really. You haunt my thoughts and dreams. No matter what I’m doing, who I’m with, or how I’m feeling you’re always there. I’m sorry. Terribly sorry that you didn’t make it out. And it’s all because of me. Having to face Annie after what happened was soul crushing. You have a son, she named him after you. She thinks about you every moment and it breaks her heart but she continues living for him. For you. I’m so sorry you don’t get to see him grow up. It’s all my fault. I should have told you to go back and be with her. To stay put but I didn’t. And I will forever regret it. When I met you I was thinking of ways to kill you, I had no idea the scheme you guys had planned. But as you helped keep Peeta alive more and more I realized I couldn’t kill you, I wouldn’t ever stop owing you. And I resented that. After the games when we were in district 13 and our loved ones were in the capitol. You help me keep myself together. What you said to me really stuck, “it’s 10x’s as hard to put yourself back together than it is to fall apart”. I realized over the years how right you were. When you gave me your rope that you tie to distract your mind, you became something like family to me. You understood me. I understood you. And even after the games, you still helped Peeta and I up until your last breath. I’m forever grateful for you because with out you, I wouldn’t have Peeta with me or even be here myself. You saved me. Thank you for everything, Seaweed boy. I think I’ll miss you forever.

Katniss Everdeen

[andreamorgan19]

Mockingjay