#I dont really believe them but the anxiety is still there

[creeper-awwwman]

ok maybe i ought to go to bed the thoughts are goingBad

[httpiastri]

as happy as i am for lissie and marcus (even though I knew they were already together because I literally watched them make out with my own two eyes) it was honestly my last straw. I’m so tired of seeing everybody on my social feeds happy and in relationships when I’ve just had the worst week of my life and have basically given up on falling in love because if I can’t even drive how am I going to go to places where I’ll meet people?!?!? i have spent every Valentine’s Day alone while my friends go on elaborate dates and I’m just so so tired

not the make out sesh 😩 oh to see them with my own two eyes irl... what a pretty sight it would be

this got quite personal and hit a little too close to home so im putting a lil keep reading thing

love :(( i’m truly sorry you feel this way... but god i felt this ask so much... first of all, i'm really sorry about you having a bad week. it's completely fine to feel the way you're feeling, it must really suck, but i'm sure you'll get the license and you'll be driving shortly!! i am keeping my fingers crossed for you ❤️

i’ve always been very calm about relationships and love, very much “i’m not in a rush” and “it’ll come when it’s time”. i’ve always been a hopeless romantic but i haven’t been stressed about it – i’ve always been so busy that i haven’t really had time for love, and i've been okay with hearing about friends and their great love lives while i've spent pretty much every weekend and holiday alone at home. but… eventually, it becomes exhausting, you know? when falling in love for real just seems so far away and like something so hard to achieve in some way....

i also kind of feel you on the driving part... i decided not to get my license for a bunch of reasons, and idk how i'll get around without driving... but also as i am still living with my parents, it just seems impossible to meet someone, because where would i bring them? home to meet my snooping parents?? no way

i think we just gotta hold on to the hope that when it is the right time, it will happen. i don't believe in the whole "don't rush it" thing, i think that we're all allowed to seek and chase love if we want to, but i also think it's okay to take a step back and just breathe and be okay with the situation. unfortunately, our current day society is so formed around relationships, soft launches and hard launches and dinner date pics on insta and public proposal videos, that i feel like the pressure easily gets overwhelming. there's also something in the way that people think other people's love lives is any of their business, like friends and relatives asking me why i don't have a boyfriend, as if a partner is something i need to live my life? surely it would make it better, but i don't need to be reminded and hurt yet again over the fact that i'm alone, when i'm just trying to move on in life...

i'm trying to stay patient, open to any opportunity, and remembering that social media is merely a highlight reel and not reality. i hope you too can find peace in remembering that things will get better, we just have to work through this first. we will get through it and come out stronger on the other side. darling, if you ever need something from me, want to rant, or anything else, know that my messages and inbox are always open 💗

[forehead451]

stream of consciousness type deal.

[astralsys]

hi again been a bit... uhhh why'd I wanna make this again? oh right talking about random shit. I do wanna get back into some things I left off with some friends of mine, but due to being me and it being a very hard existence things didnt go as planned and I kinda dropped it and lost interest.... which really sucks cause I have so many ideas for where I wanted to take my story ( working on a kirby au of sorts havent sorted out through the entire thing cause my brain doesnt wanna work with me :/ ) that I wanted to actually bring into existence instead of it all just being in my head or a rough draft. maybe I can push myself into gaining interest again by actually working on it again. what I had orginally thought up is no longer what I wanna go with so new things are hard to come up with. off topic from that I have so many fucking games I need to get back to and the game list keeps getting bigger and bigger its gonna drown me at some point :( whyyyyy do I keep doing this to myself.... doom I'm dooming myself this is what I'm doing. and cause I'm me I'm def gonna be forgetting that I made this post in the first place! dont you love being this mess of a person? isnt this FUN?!

[mostly-imagines]

answering a question nobody asked: what are jason's love languages ranked?

giving:

5 ) gift giving is bottom tier for him. i just dont see how he could value that more than any of the above because of the way he grew up. like material things and money seem like something he’d reject more than anything to me. but he does still give you presents, of course. he’ll buy you flowers randomly and jewelry and little things he’d noticed you admiring. but i dont think he really does it as a method of expressing his love for you so much as just like a little nice thing to do for you. its not his preferred method of communication, at least.

4 ) a little lower on the list comes words of affirmation because i don’t think it comes as naturally to him. he’s a man of few words and those chosen are caked in sarcasm and dry in a way that attempts to push people away, even if he doesn’t mean to. i just think his words can be rough around the edges even if his meaning isn’t. when he can work through it though, his words are very gentle and genuine. not one for hyperbole but really truly means what he says. he hears that you’re insecure about how a dress looks on you and he’s telling you to ‘shut up, you look good.’ or you’re nervous and he’ll say “you’re fine, don’t worry about it.” to someone else’s ears it might sound dismissive but you know that not how he means it. there’s a lot of unsaid words with him that are more significant than whats coming out of his mouth. like i said though, only like level 10 acquaintances and you will ever know him well enough to decipher those secret meanings.

3 ) he tends to treat himself like a loner, pulling away from people like second nature, but after he met you he found himself wanting to be around you all the time. he’s not the best with words or romantic gestures so quality time is an easier way of reminding you he loves you. he likes just sitting with you and letting you ramble about your day—listening to your voice is a big part of his calming down process every night. but sitting in comfortable silence with you is probably his favorite. he doesn’t get that with a lot of people. silence—sure; comfortable—not so much. he loves the implied intimacy and trust of quietly cooking, napping together, or doing your own things in the same space.

2 ) physical touch is another big one for him. only unlockable after entering a relationship with him. he does it for a lot of reasons, common ones include: as a reminder that he’s there, to ease anxiety (yours or his own), as a sort of fidget, or if he’s feeling a little possessive. its honestly going to shock his family how much he initiates touch with you. he’ll shove them off of him when they try to hug him and is likely to throw hands if they get too touchy. so when they meet you for the first time and he’s squeezing your hand in his the whole night, shoulder to shoulder with you—they’re surprised, to say the least. as time goes on they start to notice that he looks borderline uncomfortable when he’s not touching you—like he doesn’t know what to do with his body. his favorite ways to touch you (non sexually) include: keeping you pressed back to his chest, having your leg hooked atop his when you’re sitting hanging out, hand on the back of your neck, and hands on your hips are a must.

1 ) jason's prime method of communication is through acts of service. he fully believes it’s his responsibility to take care of you and doing things for you comes very naturally to him anyways. he’s known to refuse to let you carry things, let you have the comfortable chair, give you the last of his snack, that kind of thing. he also wants to make your life easier as much as possible—he’ll insist on you telling him about things you need, especially things you aren’t able to do yourself. you never ever have to hire a guy to come look at anything broken in your apartment, jason’s got that shit under wraps. he’d honestly be a little hurt if you did. he’s got a wide array of skills under his belt, he can fix leaky pipes, install locks, build furniture, repair cars, you name it.

receiving:

5 ) he always appreciates getting gifts from you but it’s not necessarily his preferred way of receiving your love. gift giving and acts of service are bottom tier because they’re the only ones that he feels like are taking away from you. costing you money or energy, wasting it on him—he doesn’t want you to do that. he can’t feel loved by the gesture when he’s busy concerning himself with the idea that he’s putting you out for it. when you do give him gifts he likes it most when they’re little things, especially things that you made. make him a friendship bracelet, a simple painting, a fucking paper crane—he’ll love it. with things like that, it makes him really happy to see how excited you are to show him and that’s when he feels the love from you.

4 ) it’s always a little hit or miss with acts of service. he has a hard time accepting help, especially from you. he tends to feel like its his job to take care of you and if you have to help him, he’s doing something wrong. the best way to perform acts of service for him is through littler things. cooking his favorite dinner, checking up on how his stitches are healing, covering him up when its cold and he’s too busy/stubborn to go get a blanket. don’t make a whole thing about it, just do it and he’ll notice and he’ll be thinking about it for a while.

3 ) for the same reasons as mentioned earlier, he loves quality time with you. he prefers being on the receiving end of it though because he is a little insecure and absolutely loves when you go out of your way to spend time with him. tell him you want to be around him, tell him you miss him, tell him you’re happy he’s here. warning: he might cry.

2 ) you’ll notice this one because his breath will literally hitch. physical touch is one of the most prominent methods of affection in your relationship and he never gets used to it. the presence of just your head on his shoulder or your hand in his provides such a noticeable release of tension for him. he’s a huge huge fan of you tracing patterns anywhere on his skin, playing with his hair, and wrapping your arms around his middle so you can hold him close. climb on his lap unexpectedly and his heart will skip a few beats.

1 ) he won't ever admit it, but words of affirmation are his absolute biggest weakness. your boy has a praise kink, but i also think it's difficult for him to accept that so you have to be subtle about it and work up. it gets him really blushy and if you can manage to get him talking, he’s stammering. he can’t hold eye contact for shit when you call him pretty and it’s very amusing to you to see such a quick and drastic shift in his disposition. things that have straight up put him out of commission include: calling him “my pretty boy,” or “sweet boy,” “you always take such good care of me,” “you’re so strong,” “you’re the love of my life.” “i’m proud of you” will literally put him on his knees.

[aliceinborderlandsquidgame]

An old feeling (and obsession) | In-oh x Fem!Player!Reader | PT1

Summary: In-oh always thought the ones who ended in the games were nothing but parasites of society. But then he meets you and he starts to feel something he thought he would never feel again.

Warnings: S2 Spoilers - Canon violence - May be OOC - Slight!Obsess In-ho - Player 095 lives!! - Anxiety - Sad!Reader - Soft moments

Notes: Mixed two requests!! Honestly I think these two fits perfectly.

Divided in two parts but you dont need to read this one to read the other -

PT 2

Asks: 1 - 2 -

In-ho was not sure when or how you ended in his mind, passing from being just another face from the games, another piece for the system he had worked for years now. To being somehow important to him.

Maybe it was because you reminded him of himself when he first joined? All lost and confused but also showing a strong determination to survive?

Or maybe it was something even deeper, how you made him feel human and not just "The Front Man" , how you managed to awake feelings on him he thought he had become impossible to feel.

When did it start ?

"Uh, In-ho was it?" A voice that at first did not ring a bell to him. He looked at you a calm look on his face, he saw you offering him your own milk.

"I saw you giving this to player 222 and I dont really like milk so, here. You also saved our team back then" You said offering him your own milk and mentioned how he had moved his leg to make Gi-hun get the last kick.

He took it already thinking on why would you do this. He had a reason at least, a valid one in his opinion. But you ? Why would you give him your own food to him ? Someone who was alright, who was not carring a life.

"Are you sure? This may be the only food we get" He asked truly curious to understand your thinking.

But you just gave him a smile, a honest one. One that he had forgot he could get too inmmersed in his role.

"Im sure, besides its going to be more help to have someone like you well feed than me" You responded then turned around and went back next to Jun-hee who was getting sleepy no wonder after all the stress.

One thing that was clear, you were kind, and by what you said you were not stupid, but you still needed to think on yourself first.

He promised not to drink the milk but later as the lights were turned off he did. Thinking about you, he tried to remember if by luck he had read your file or how you acted on green light red light. But his mind could not find an answer, it would go back to the small exchange from earlier.

And he would find his heart beating just a bit faster.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~

The next day came, all players were a mix of nervous and excited for the next game. The guards as always made them walk the maze made of stairs and into the main arena.

"What game do you think its going to be?" Your voice filled his hears as you walked besides him. You kind of felt his presence as a protective one. Even if at first he had voted to continue playing. After listening the reason of why he was here on the first place you could not blame him. Your empatic attitude made you just feel bad for him and now you wanted to make up to him. Even if you never disrespected him.

In-ho felt your presence endaring, like you grounded him and took him back to how he used to be and feel.

A fear started to install inside him because of that, he did not want you to change in consequence of the games, like it happened to him.

"This may be mingle" the voice of Jung-Bae cut the train of thoguhts from In-ho.

It was Mingle, he knew it

"Like the game where we formed teams and hugged each other as kids?" You wondered now your attention on Jung-Bae who nodded back at you. 

"Well, I believe they wont make us hug each other" The cold voice from Gi-hun came along as the three of you and the rest of the group went up to the circle platform.

"If we need to form teams then we may end separated" You said as the platform started to spin making you lose sense of space and instinctively  went to take someones hand.

That just happened to be In-ho.

You blushed and went to quietly let go when he took your hand back giving it a firm grip, he did not look in your direction (something you thanked since your face was on fire) but you did give him a soft shake back.

"10"

The panic went in, your team still needed one more, luckly Dae-ho acted quick and took a player that was frozen in place and screamed at the rest to run to one of the doors.

Then all of you ran towards one door opening it and going inside, between the chaos In-ho never let go of your hand only when the door lock was secured he let it go giving you a look then looking away.

His heart was beating fast. He had made these games, even played before and yet he was feeling worry over you. Why? You were not supposed to be special. But when he felt your hand and looked to see your confused and scared face something in his heart hurt, he could not leave you like that.

He could not be cruel with you.

The next rounds followed each one making you more stressed specially when you almost lose Young-mi during the last round.

"Are you alright?" You asked her, voice full of worry.

She just nodded being a bit pale "Thank you, you pushed that other aside, if it wasnt for you..."

"Dont mention it" not only because thinking that you caused the death of someone else was a brutal hit for your moral, but because the fear you felt for her in these last moments made you want to vomit thanks to how nervous and desesperated you were.

You did not ever think about the other player when you went for her.

You walked slowly like a zombie till you felt a shadow over you, it was In-ho.

"Are you alright?" He asked, you two got separated last round and he (even if he wont tell you) was worried you would be one of the numbers mention as eliminated.

"Im fine, last round was a lot" You responded giving him a tired smile getting on the platform again.

He followed not beliving you but not saying anything for a few seconds.

"Stay besides me, next round may be the last one" He spooke to you not leaving room for another option.

"What makes you say that?" You wondered, too lost to even try and reason how many rounds were left or how many you already played. The only thing you could see was the blood on the ground.

"We are 126 standing and there is only 50 cabins, if they want to put pressure on us by losing others then this is the right moment" He explained making you purse your eyelash at that.

"Then how many would-"

"Two, two for each door" He was quick to answer. He looked at you directly to your eyes. It seemed that the spin stopped for him, he was lost in your eyes for a second getting suck by them. His heart felt heavy and he felt that need again,  the need of protecting you.

"Stay by my side for the next round" He said again extending his hand to you "Take my hand and dont let go, I doubt the others wont get desesperated and will end palying dirty"

Before you reached his hand you went towards Gi-hun and Jung-Bae who were also talking about what number would be said next.

"Two" you cut them off getting a look from them "Just listen, its going to be two, I cant explain but I need to ask you two for something. One of you please take Young-mi with you, please im begging" You asked them almost in tears not having time to process last round and your actions.

Gi-hun the one from the pair who had already played could imagine what could have happened and he nodded giving your shoulder a firm grip. "We wont leave her" He promised you.

You thanked them again and went back besides In-ho who this time took your hand in his without saying or asking anything.

"2"

The moment the voice announced the number In-ho ran with you, his hand holding yours in iron fist.

He would be dammed if he lost you among the crowd.

Most rooms were getting occupied, In-ho searched till he saw one.

"There, the yellow door" He screamed at you pushing you first into the room then just as a player was going in getting them out of the way.

However things did not end once inside.

In-ho looked over his shoulder as he tried to held the door and prevent anyone from entering.

"Shit" He cursed. He saw you froze in place looking at other player who was just as shocked as you.

"W-we got here first" The player sutter at you who only watched him, the sound of your heart filling your ears and the screams from outside.

"Hold the door" In-ho ordered in a very comanding voice pushing you and going towards the player, he reduced him starting to choke him. "Close your eyes" He said to you once he noticed you were looking over your shoulder at him.

No. He could not let you see him like this.

You did as told and closed your eyes forcing yourself to block what was happening around you.

I wanna go home, fuck I wanna get out of here.

The sound of a crack and then the alarm indicating time was off got you out of your mind. You let yourself fall against the wall near the door trying not to look over the dead body in the room.

"Hey, hey (Y/N) look at me" In-ho implored trying to bring you back.

"I- I wanna go home In-ho" You told him now crying, whatever bravery you had was crushed right there.

Much like his own heart.

He pulled you against him in a hug, letting you cry on his chest, he felt you shaking and hugged you thighter caressing your hair.

There was no way he would leave you here after this.

"Shh, shh it passed. We are ok, just breath now" He tried to calm you down

"What if the others-"

"Im positive they made it" He said even if he could not really tell you that. "Focus on yourself now, focus in my voice alright? You are ok, you are safe"

"Dont let me go please" You pleaded him holding his track-suit with force.

"Never"

And he intendeed to do that.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

After the tie of the voting he could see you were one step of breaking down. He could not take on how empy your eyes looked now, how you would shake from time to time, probably from the recent events.

He also took notice on how you havent touch your food at all.

Slowly he went towards you taking a seat besides you, not too close or too far.

"You need to eat" He started but got a shake from you.

"I feel like I will throw up anything if I try to eat now"

"Even if thats the case, give it a try you will need the streght"

"Why?" You asked finally looking at him "Why did we tie? Why does they want to keep playing after all of this?"

In-ho went quiet at your question, he could not give you an answer. Honestly maybe there was no answer to it, greed ? malice ? desesperation ? Anything could be the reason.

"I dont have a answer for that" He finally talked seeing how your face fall even more.

"But I can assure you something" He added "Look at me" He ordered softly and you did as told "I will assure your safety" He promised

You gave him one smile, one that did not reach your eyes.

"You cant assure that...but thanks. Thanks for protecting me in the last game and for what happened during last round..."

"You dont have to remember that" He said afraid you were going to see him different now

"No. Thank you" You cut him, looking at his face seeing the small suprise he got. "I know I should feel bad and god I do feel bad but, but you did it so we both could survive, thank you. I want you to know I dont see you any different from how I saw you before"

He did not respond to you, did not react at all. His mind was working like crazy, thinking how he could get you out.

How was he going to keep playing these games and using Gi-hun. How, when his heart now beating because of you. Because of how you saw him, how your eyes kept following him and how you expressed your thoughts.

Gradually he got closer to you, he moved in slow motion to not scare you, till he could pass his arm around your shoulders and pull you against his side. The two of you stayed there in silence for a few minutes each with their own thoughts, but In-ho had a strong objective now.

Protect you till the end.

[marsmaximoff]

💔; crimson pain -a different kind of blood

content warning: gn!reader who plays as number 028. (dating) angst. mentions of death, financial struggles, vomit, blood and fainting.

word count: 1935. i got a bit too carried away 😬

author’s note: finally, here it is. i’ve had this idea for so long but the universe wasn’t on my side, it seems. i really wanted to post it sooner 🥲. as always, constructive criticism is welcomed, and i apologize for the mistakes (english is my third language). oh, and tysm for the support on the jun-ho headcanons post! what do you mean over 1000 likes? that is insane 🤧🤧. i hope you’ll enjoy this one too. 🩷🩷🩷🩷

the sugary umbrella lays on your shaky hand, under the excruciating yet unmasked gaze of the soldier. once the ‘pass’ is given, you stand up ready to get out of there. “you made it!” the voice of the one that has become the closest thing to a friend you could have in here relaxes you ever so slightly. “i almost didn’t. can’t believe i’m adding umbrellas to my traumas list.” having chosen the hardest doesn't surprise you much, not with unluckiness being a part of your life since you can remember. “well, im just happy you did. i thought the square was simple, but now i feel like we should have just chosen the triangle instead, you know? take a look at the survivors; most of them chose it and….” his words fade as an eerie feeling takes over your body, like something’s wrong. turning around, you’re met with one of them, staring right at you completely stiff, not even holding the weapon, merely some feet away.

“is he looking at us?” he can sense the uneasiness too, it seems. “let’s just go.” you can still feel his unfamiliar gaze on your neck, sending a shiver down your spine.

the doors opening break the silence and the rare calmness of the room. “player 028?” your body freezes completely. a stomach drop follows, and your heart rate skyrockets. no. nonono. you’ve done nothing wrong. is it the dalgona? the figure was perfectly carved out; you made sure of it. are they gonna kill you? two soldiers stand by the entrance, waiting. with a final glance at your friend, who is most definitely thinking the same, you reach the pink guards. you don’t even know what to say, should you beg for mercy? try to stay as cooperative as possible? “be quick.” what? the other one grabs your arm and begins to lead you somewhere. “i-i don’t-” your hands are shaking. “please, i didn’t do anything wrong...” begging it is. “keep. walking.” the words are almost a whisper, tho demanding. a hint of desperation can be heard as well. “okay, okay, ok-” wait. why did those words- no. you’re going crazy. it’s just the anxiety, the fear. 

the stranger takes you to the bathrooms and quickly closes the door. you step back. again. and once more. what now? he wouldn’t shoot you here, right? and why the hell does he look so tense? his hands move to his mask and make it disappear, and with it, the remaining bit of sanity you had.

the nausea from a few seconds ago comes back stronger, maybe you will die today. “jun-ho…” your voice is almost unrecognizable, tho a miracle, given the struggle breathing has become. “what are you doing here?” “i could ask you the same thing.” he’s angry, of course he is, but the hurt in his eyes pains you the most. “no….you need to get out of here.” god. you can feel yourself spiraling. nothing makes sense. “i will. and im taking you with me.” “h-how- when did- i-“ cold sweat has completely taken over your palms. “wait….wait. was it you?…. this morning?” he nods. “i found the damn card they gave you at yours and my brother’s house” what? “in-ho…?” why does everything keep getting worse? “have you seen him?” surely you would remember something like that, “n-no. maybe before the first game…..” you heed your legs’ warning to give up and sit down. “why are you doing this? i dont understand.” it’s not like he could. “they let you out. and you didn’t seek me. you hid yourself. again. i had to learn what was going on from a random man at the station. not you!!” silence between you had never felt this suffocating before, nor the atmosphere so uncanny. “don’t you realize how dangerous this is? they are killing innocent people! haven’t you realized?! 79 have died today. just because of a stupid cookie? what do you think you are doing?! you could have gotten yourself killed! you have no idea how worried i’ve been.” you don’t look at him. this shouldn’t be happening, he wasn’t supposed to find out.

“please, honey. this is insane and you know it. let’s get out of this madness.” the change in his tone of voice is evident, bordering the plea. it’s obvious he’s making an effort to remain calm, to use less confrontational comments. “i can’t.” “yes, you can. we’ll leave the same way i got here, don’t worry. no one will see us.” but you really can’t. you know that well. he sighs, “why didnt you tell me? how could you hide something like this from me? i thought we trusted each other.” 

distress seems to have replaced the blood running through your veins. “i would have helped you, always. i can still do it. if you need money, i’ll give it to you, it’s not a problem.” he keeps going after your negative. “i will. we can find another way-” “there isn't.” “of course there is. i have my savings, we’ll use them. i can ask for a raise. mr kim owes me after all this time. and i could do more hours-”

“its not FUCKING ENOUGH!” the sharpness of your words cuts all over his face. pain flows out, dripping a bloody red. more silence. you could drown in it. well, in for a penny, in for a pound.

“my parents’ house is gonna get seized.” a burning throat accompanies the confession. “i messed up like crazy.” the expected embarrassment doesn’t show up, instead, regret does. “it’s not your fault.” how can he say that? “it is. i got them into this, I'll get them out.” “and you think risking your life here is the only way to do it? thats not true. god, why didn’t you tell me?” you rub your temple. “that doesn’t matter now. you-you need to get out, all this is suspicious.” you are not only trying to avoid the question, the guards could notice at any moment. “i told them you were gonna throw up.” “vomit or not you’re still in the bathroom with a player.” for some seconds, the only noise that can be heard is the shatter of your heart. “honey, listen to me. your parents wouldn’t want this. they don’t even blame you, im sure. how could they ever wish for something at the expense of their daughter’s life?” but the guilt is too heavy, too imprinted on your mind. “it’s not about me. if it were my house, i wouldn’t care, but it’s theirs. i would never forgive myself for not doing anything.” “and there are so many things you could do that don’t need you participating in some psychopaths’ games! do you really not see how dangerous and demented this is? please leave with me.” “jun-ho. think about it. if i ended up here, even after they gave us a second chance, it’s because i want to. no one forced me, and i’m old enough to know what i’m doing.” your replies are getting colder, which you hate. but it’s the only way to make him understand. “besides, they’re all kids' games. they’re easy.” you can only hope he won’t sense your attempt at self-persuasion. “they are shooting people. you could be dead. and i would have never seen you again, or known what had happened.” the urge to cry gets stronger with every word, to dive into his arms and finally feel some sort of calmness, warmth, love.

“i’m sorry that i hurt you, that i made you worry and feel like i couldn’t trust you. but i won’t apologize for being here.” “i don’t want you to apologize. i only want you to get out of here and not die.” his desperation has increased so much it’s swallowed your own distress. “i’ve already won two, i can make it to the end.” you refute. but you read him easily, he is planning to get you out without your agreement, somehow.

“please.” now it’s you that pleads. “if you love me, let me stay.”

his eyes widen, you see them watering. his heartbreak drowns out yours. you are aware you’ve never said anything as painful before. it hurts. more than anything they could do to you here. perhaps you are already dead. “how can you ask me something like this?” maybe you’re desperate, or too blinded by the blame that’s rotting on your insides. or perhaps it’s love. “get out of here. stay safe. and don’t tell the police, jun-ho. don’t even think about stopping the games. i need this, don’t ruin it.” god you don’t recognize yourself anymore. how nice it would be to go back when things were easy. when remorse didn’t control yourself, and you were happy with him. “what do you expect me to do if you die?” “i won’t” “you can’t know that! how can i let the love of my life risk it all when i know i could do something?” understanding such perspective is effortless. if it were the other way around, you too would act like he is.

you approach him for the first time, god how you craved it. your hands cup his pained yet beautiful face and a tear drops. “i missed you.” he says quietly, unable to stay angry at you for long. “i missed you too.” you answer back, wiping the tear. “i missed your face, your voice, your touch. i miss your kisses.” things already ache enough like this, so you give in. the kiss is soft, so fragile, like a bit more intensity would make it disappear. “i love you.” he whispers resting his forehead on yours. “i love you too.”

a knock on the door destroys the illusion. shit. “lay on the floor.” “what?” “lay on the floor”, he repeats, walking towards the door while putting his mask back on, “and play along.” the door opens and the same voice from earlier speaks. “what do you think you’re doing in there?” may that unluckiness give you a rest for some minutes. “she passed out. she was taking too long and not answering back so i entered and found her unconscious.” footsteps grow louder. “player 028…. i don’t remember any health issues on the file… fuck.” you stay as still as possible, it sounds plausible, given the stress. “take care of it, i’ll let the boss know. and don’t take longer.” with that, he exits the room, and you thank his unwillingness to deal with sensitive issues.

sitting back up, jun-ho kneels to your level. “you look good for a faint.” a hint of a smile appears on your face. “are you mad at me?” “i was. mostly worried. i don’t like this at all.” you grab his gloved hands. “i’ll be okay, believe me.” he doesn’t. he can’t. “please, be careful. and think about it. if you change your mind, i’ll be waiting.” you won’t. you wouldn’t let yourself. but you nod. “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. i hope you’ll carry that with you. i love you so damn much.” his voice breaks, and you tell yourself it’s time to go back, this conversation can only get more and more devastating for you both. you offer the bleeding and broken pieces of your heart. not meaning to cut him this time. and he takes them. how could he not treasure them? you kiss again. it tastes different this time. like farewell. 

and when you get out of the room, you both know that was the last time you’ll see each other. 

[doffy3]

Please help a good friend of mine (disabled BIPOC trans woman) recover after cardiac arrest.

[ALT TEXT: Shits gotten very dakr insanely dark in my life idek what to do and at times im kept awake because of the cardiac anxiety and when that happens i have to stand up and keep myself stood up so that no complications happen and i think i need to get on beta blockers again which i was on when i was younger and had family healthcare. Now that im off that ive been looking into what clinics but i dont have a car so id have to do ride apps and whatnot. Add to that groceries are pretty scarce and my dad doesnt like spending money on them. Im genuinely just gonna sparingly use for food and save for the doctor trip because the big thing here. Like i said surviving cardiac arrest with no treatment nor rehab already leaves me at a big risk i always feel im on borrowed time.My cashapp is $latinolol and my venmo is @/imalwaysright i believe it was Im lucky im with my dad but the whole story is my abusive mother kicked me the fuck out for telling her not tohit my sister and scare my neice and i fucked off and took everything with me but since then ive been scared as hell. My dads getting me a job at a pizza place if his connections can get me in but everythings still so uncertain here and ive just been stressing out so much and losing sleep over this shit. Im sorry to ask abt this again i feel really ashamed to do so /END ALT TEXT]

Payment info: c*shapp $latinolol and v*nmo is @/imalwaysright

RBs are always appreciated even if you can't donate. Thank you.

[samara444]

everything i learnt during my break (ie all you need to know about manifesting)

hi guys, i took a months long break from tumblr. i used to be depressed, suicidal, constantly looking for results, having only failures, whining, being affected by the 3d every turn, crying almost everyday, to now not being affected by the 3d at ALLL, knowing my true power, and having it all easily conform in the 3d, i dont have anxiety/depression anymore and i feel so blessed, now i literally cry happy tears.

i used to be someone who used to spend my whole day on here, morning to night, looking for answers and the final "key" to manifesting/shifting, taking a break was much needed. here are the things i finally learned after so long.

dont be double minded // i would like to start by saying, see its a choice. we have 2 very distinct sides in this world, one full of lack, negativity, failures, sadness, losing, wishing, wanting....and the other of fulfillment, belief, positivity, determination, persisting, having, being, awareness etc. and whatever we choose, stick by it. i see so many people complaining and trying to say manif/shifting isnt real, and yes thats true FOR YOU in your reality. whatever you have choosen, a life of suffering or one of happiness through the law, please stick to it. if you want to say the law doesnt work, great, but if you have even a slight hope that its true and real, then give it a shot, and dont doubt, and with faith watch how it changes your life.

no circumstance can stop you // be it time, or the past, or trauma, every condition and circumstance only exist because we identify with it. the difference between a broke guy working a 9 to 5 that they hate, no purpose in life, debt and all relationships failing and a multimillionare, who doesnt have to work a single day in their life, life full of luxury and happiness, people who love them etc who probably doesnt even deserve their money but still gets to enjoy it, is simply their beliefs. believe better for yourself.

thinking from your desire and not of it // wishing and wanting and creating up fake scenarios is very different from knowing you HAVE your desire rn. the former is daydreaming, the latter is creation. you can waste years of your life thinking you're manifesting but its just us THINKING OFFF our desire. the results only show up when we HAVE right now. not to get, not to change the 3d but haveeee right now.

imagination is the only reality // we live in a multiverse, idc if people believe in that or not because its true for me, and every possible circumstance is possible and already created. already done. all our job is to HAVE it, and to CHOOSE to live in the state of having. and being fulfilled in our imagination instead of looking for in the 3d. if we look now we'll forever be looking, but when we close our eyes and know its done because our minds is the true consciousness, thats when it actually shows up.

stop manifesting with the intent of changing the 3d // physically trying to change the 3d is so hard, its so tiresome, its futile and useless, but being fulfilled and in the present moment, not worrying about the past or the future. just focusing on staying in the state of the wish fulfilled with our eyes closed is the key, dont worry about what you see with your eyes open. the 4d is the creator, the 3d will AUTOMATICALLY follow.

stop overconsuming/more techniques and enjoy life // you know already what you have to do. most of us know that living in the end means being the person who already has it. so does your dream ideal self do a million techniques trying to get? does you ideal self spend their whole day scrolling on tumblr looking for another technique? another magic affirmation? subliminal? post? that will fix it all? no. they enjoy their lives knowing its done. their wish is in the greatest hands and its all done. so really, stoppp STOP with the overconsumption, trust that you know everything that you are supposed to. everything is within you. stop searching for it outside.

i yap a lot. i love to write so dont blame me, but i wont make this post too long, my dms are always open for help/ or to make friends. ily guys, i feel so happy now being on tumblr, i used to read others success stories and now i have my own hehe so yes slay. bye

-love, sam <3

[imaginingmanyfandoms]

By the fire | Embry Call

a/n: this one got away from me, but i LOVE it.

request; Can you do Embry X reader where he bumps into Her and imprints but is too scared to tell her because he soon has to tell reader about the pack and doesn't want to hurt reader so Kim asks reader to lunch. You can choose the other details

warnings; i dont think any <3

EMBRY;

He couldn't believe it.

He hadn't seen you since you'd gone to Forks high school, but you'd always been around, right? Right? He suddenly couldn't remember.

Embry'd bumped into you, literally bumped - as he was walking backwards in his mom's store, goofing with Jared and Quil about... he didn't even remember what - when he knocked into you. You'd been talking to his mom, when he knocked something right out of your hands. Quil and Jared had continued laughing, but when he caught your eye, nothing was funny.

Nothing was funny but everything was beautiful. He'd never noticed the colour of your eyes, the depths they held, the secrets they told. He never noticed the way you tilt your head slightly when looking at something. He felt a knot tie around his heart, felt it beat rapidly against the tight coils. Gravity shifted, planets moved, the stars changed, all of it a map leading him to you.

"I'm sorry," he choked out, trying to pick up the little figurine that fell at the same time as you, when you both reached for it, your hands touched, and he felt electricity shock all the way up to his elbow. "I'm sorry," he repeated, moving his hand for the trinket, picking it up and handing it to you. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," you said, smiling, "no harm no foul."

Your smile made his stomach drop like he was on a rollercoaster, you were so beautiful, he wanted to pull you close and never let go. Wanted to protect you from anyone that may cause you harm. wanted to make sure you were always happy, always warm, always comfortable.

You made the world turn.

"Are you okay?" you asked, "you kinda look like you're gunna throw up."

"Never better," he said quietly, mustering up a weak smile.

He was filled with excitement and anxiety. Suddenly riddled with worry and doubt, and just genuine concern for you. Were you dating anyone? What were your friends like? What were your hobbies?"

"Anyway," his mom, Tiffany said, breaking his stare from you, "you're hired, I'll let the owners know."

"Really? We never even had an interview," you said, smiling widely.

"I feel good about it, I can see the good in you," she winked at embry, "Can you start on the weekend?"

"Yeah of course! I'll see you then!"

Tiffany left then, someone else trying to check out at the register. You turned back to Embry, smile wild and genuinely. His heart could've melted than and there.

"What luck," you said, hitting him with your elbow playfully, "you might be my good luck charm."

Quil and Jared were still in the store, pretending to be interesting in some wooden figurines on the shelf, but were also clearly trying to sneak peeks at the two of you. Embry tried to subtly shoo them away, but they just pretended not to see.

"I have to get going," he said, ending the conversation. He noticed the disappointment on your face, and he felt bad. You would've been feeling everything that he was feeling, but you wouldn't understand. Or did you? He didn't know, did you feel your soul change? Your priorities shift? Did you feel different down to the core, like he did?

"Oh, okay, yeah," you smiled, "maybe i'll see you around?"

"You will," he said, resisting the urge to lean forward and touch you, brush your hair behind your ears. Instead he clenched his fists, leaving them dangling by his side. "I know where you are." He stuttered when you looked confused, "work! where you work i meant..." Jared snorted behind him, trying his hardest not to laugh.

"I'll see you later embry," you laughed, waving goodbye to Tiffany and leaving the store he watched as you lifted your hood up, sheilding from the light rain and left the beach.

"She knows my name," he said, goofy grin on his face.

"You're an idiot," Jared laughed, "I know where you are??? No game whatsoever."

"Shut up," Quil said, elbowing him. "He was nervous."

"What do I do?" Embry asked, feeling lost. You weren't anywhere near this, he shouldn't bring you into this, right? Wouldn't bringing you into this life be more dangerous?

"What do you mean? protect her, I don't know, hangout with her?" Jared said, "it's kind of self explanatory."

YOU;

What a weird morning. First, you're walking down First Beach which you haven't done in who knows how long, and you see the souvenirs shop and a 'now hiring' sign in the window - which never happens because the last person they hired was Tiffany Call and that was over ten years ago, so you decided to go in. And when you're talking to Tiffany about applying, her son, Embry, who you haven't seen in years bumps into you and... and suddenly nothing made any sense at all.

You thought you had it all figured out, wanted a quiet life in the woods. had no real desire to leave this small town - and then suddenly, you didn't know anything. Didn't what you wanted, or with who... like you locked eyes with this boy and the axis your world revolved around just... changed. There was something new, a feeling you didn't understand, a feeling you wanted to run towards, and away from. Wanted to push, and pull.

Walking home from the gift shop that day was otherworldly. You wanted to be around Embry again, not to be creepy you just... you wanted him around. Felt like maybe he had a place in your life. But you hadn't really seen him around much... and it sounds creepy but you kinda thought, well, it seemed like you always kind of felt like he was around. In the dead of the night, with a sky full of stars, you would think - maybe it's crazy - but you would swear he was nearby.

But you hadn't seen him, and you had no other reason to think he was around except for an inkling, a tingle that said, 'oh good, he's here.' It helped you sleep. Made you feel comfortable.

That was nearly a week ago, and now you were reading a book, sitting as comfortably as you could on the plastic chair behind the register of the shop, waiting for anyone to need you or ask for help, but it'd been a slow day.

The bell above the door dinged, startling you out of the paragraph you were reading.

It was Kim... uh... Kim, you racked your brain trying to remember her last name but came up with nothing. She smiled at you, browsing around the store for a moment. She'd grown up around here, you had to wonder what she would need in a souvenir shop. But you smiled nonetheless, closing your book and making yourself available.

"Nice day out there," she said, toying with a necklace, twirling a few beads around the string. "Looks like there might be some nice sun later."

"I sure hope so," you said, tapping your fingers quickly on the counter, "my flowers are begging for some sunshine."

She laughed, "yeah, sounds about right."

"Anything in particular you're looking for?" you asked, rounding the counter and joining her by the jewelry. She looked at you, something soft in her features that felt so familiar, so welcoming. "I swear I'm not watching you, you're just the first person I've talked to in like, two hours."

Kim laughed again, "Slow day?"

"Like you wouldn't believe," you said, picking up a green beaded necklace. "This would suit you, I think."

She looked at it for a second, taking it from your hands and putting it around her neck without fastening it. "Yeah, I think you're right. There's a fire tonight, would be nice to wear something new for a change."

"Sales is easy," you joked, walking back behind the register, ringing in the total on the prehistoric register.

"Mm, I'm pretty easy to persuade, not sure if it should be an example of your salesmanship..."

"The boss doesn't need to know that though," you smiled, taking her money and returning her change.

"Hey you should come hangout sometime," she said, "maybe I can take you to a late lunch at the diner before the fire tonight?"

"You wanna take me to lunch?"

She blushed, "not as like a date... not that I wouldn't want to! I mean... I just thought-"

Your laugh cut her off, "Kim, I'm kidding. Lunch would be great."

"Funny," she rolled her eyes, but smiled. "I'll come pick you up later. Still at the same house?"

You nodded, and she left with a smile, waving goodbye. The bell rang again as she left, and you watched her trot across the road, getting into a car with Jared Cameron, the boy who'd been in the store with Embry a couple days ago.

After your shift finished - and nearly your book due to the shocking lack of customers - you got home and changed, grabbing a shower before getting ready quickly.

Kim was out front, patiently waiting while you pulled on your shoes.

When you joined her in the car, she was just getting off the phone, speaking quickly and hushed. You looked around the area before you got in, that same funny feeling that maybe Embry was somewhere close.

"Ready?" she asked, kicking you out of your own thoughts.

"Yeah, totally..."

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's just..." you were desperate to share this with someone. Your mom was long gone, and your dad had been out at his brother's for the last month or so, hunting and fishing. Not that you'd want to tell your parents about the obsession you'd been having for the Call boy... "It's weird," you sighed, "I shouldn't bother you with it."

"Try me," she said.

And there was something about her kind smile, and the soft look in her eye... you did. You spilled your guts all the way to the diner, and continued explaining your bizarre interaction and feelings until just after you'd ordered, that's when you finished explaining you'd hoped he'd come by the store, but he hasn't. And explained how you had this weird sensation that he was there when he wasn't.

"...and it's extra crazy cause we didn't even say that much to each other, like, I just felt... something. Like a cosmic connection? I guess? Is that nuts?"

"I don't think that's nuts at all," she shook her head, smiling and thanking the waitress who delivered your food. "You know, the same thing happened to me with Jared, and it turns out he had been around when I thought he was."

"Really?"

"Really. Same exact thing..." Kim looked like she wanted to say more, but hesitated. She ate some fries instead.

"I just want him to come by like he said he would," you said, pushing your plate away. Suddenly, you weren't that hungry. "You know?"

"Maybe you should go to him?" she offered, waving a fry around before eating it. "He'll be at the fire tonight, you should come."

"Do you think I should?"

"It's not like an official meeting or anything, just a fire Emily and Sam wanted to throw," she said casually, "Sam Uley, I mean."

"I don't want to just show up uninvited," you blushed, slinking into your seat, but you thought about it.

"I'm inviting you!" she smiled, that genuine, kind smile... she was hard to say no to. It felt nice to hangout with someone, your friends had mostly left for college and you forgot how fun it was to yap.

"Okay," you said, straightening up, "okay, I will."

It was nighttime when you and Kim pulled up to the fire. A starless sky, but a beautiful night.

There was a group of people already huddled around a fire, and the nerve you'd conjured up had began to fade. Would Embry think this is weird? Were you weird? No, no, Kim had insisted. This wasn't even your idea. Would Embry believe that?

"Babe, hey!" Jared said, scampering over to hug his girlfriend, kissing her cheek. "Hey, y/n, how's it going?"

"Fine thanks," you said, "nice fire."

"Paul did it," he said, "he's kind of the fire guy of the paaaaa-rty..." he smiled, laughing like he hadn't confused his words.

"Come meet everyone, they're all nice. No one bites," Kim whispered, "Maybe Paul bites, just a little."

"Everyone," Jared announced, "this is y/n! Y/n, this is; Rachel, Paul, Emily, Sam, Quil, Jacob, Embry, Seth, annnnnnnnd Leah."

Embry's eyes were wide, locked on you from the moment Jared walked up with you. You felt embarrassed, like maybe coming here was a bad idea. You sat next to Kim, Rachel on your otherside, who smiled kindly at you, introducing herself again, and the conversation continued easily, and it was fun. But Embry was quiet, watching you as you laughed with Kim and Rachel, talking about an elementary teacher you'd all had in different years, enjoying a night out for the first time in a long time.

But you felt his eyes. They didn't seem angry, or judgemental... didn't seem like he thought you were a freak. And yet, Embry watched you, unable to focus on anything else. Quil nudged him, encouraging him to talk to you, but Embry brushed him off, looking into the fire for less than a minute before his eyes wandered back to you.

"We need more wood," Paul said, clapping Embry on the back hard enough that he lurched forward a little, "your turn."

"I went last time," he said, rolling his eyes, but getting up do to it anyway.

"And for your lovely assistant," Paul pointed at different people as he said; "eeny, meeny, miney, new girl," Paul landed at you, smiling as Rachel elbowed him roughly in the side. Not quietly at all he said, "What? That was subtle til you hit me."

"I don't need help," Embry said quietly, watching as you got up to do it without question.

"No it's okay, I wanna help," you said.

Embry led you over to a small shed, it's only contents were stacks of wood. He started loading up his hands, gesturing for you to stack a couple more on top. You started, but a log slid in your hand funny, and you yelped, dropping it in his arms and looking at your hand.

In an instant, Embry dropped the pile, grabbing your hand in his and looking at it, searching for the injury.

"Splinter," you said, "sorry."

"Does it hurt? Are you hurt?"

"I mean it stings a little, I guess, but I'm fine." But you didn't pull away, you wanted him to keep holding you, it was warm, and soft, and he smelled good. Like honey and oak. And he was so tall, towering over you but holding you so gingerly, inspecting your sliver.

"C'mon," he said, keeping your wrist in his grip, careful not to disturb the little piece of log in your hand, and led you out of the shed and into a house. Embry led you to the bathroom, bringing you into the small room and shuffling through the medicine cabinet with one hand, in the other - he still hadn't let yours go.

"Hey, I'm okay," you said quietly, "I can do it if you want, it's all good."

"I'll do it," he said gruffly, continuing his search for tweezers. When he found them, looking at your hand again. As if it were a medical procedure, he took a breath, and then grabbed the splinter, pulling it out swiftly but gently, making sure it didn't separate and get stuck. "You feel okay?"

"I'm fine, Embry," you giggled, "It was just a splinter."

He smiled a little, light blush on his cheeks as he looked around the small bathroom. "Still," he looked at you, resolve to avoid you shattering and disapatting, he wouldn't be strong enough to fight it for one minute longer. "They hurt sometimes."

You laughed, "yeah, I guess they do."

Embry continued to hold your hand, looking at you with those eyes that just made you melt. It was crazy to feel this way about him already right? Crazy that if he asked you to be his, you would be? It was too soon. But still... you wanted him to.

"We should get back," you said, gesturing towards the fire. "They might get worried."

"Wait," he said, looking back in the cabinet, pulling a small bandaid out, covering the tiny hole in your hand. "Don't want anything to get in there."

"Thanks," you said, and when he finally dropped your hand, you wished he hadn't.

You led him out of the house, and back to the shed - where he didn't let you help again for fear of another life threatening injury, and brought the wood over the fire.

And Embry was more animated when he rejoined everyone, opting to sit between you and Rachel rather than over by his best friends. He was close to you, but he didn't touch you again for the rest of the night.

Kim had driven you home before it got too late, and now you were in your bed, trying to sleep but you were stuck daydreaming about those few moments in the bathroom. It was playing on repeat. The way he looked at you, took care of you. All of it, it was so... attractive? You were so drawn to him.

A knock on the door made you jump, and you thought about not answering it. But there was something in your heart that said you should, that gentle nudge that Embry was nearby made you think.... yea, okay.

So you did, you swung the door open, and Embry was there, standing in the glow of the moon. He looked sheepish, goofy smile on his mouth that just made you smile.

"Embry?"

"I forgot something at the fire, or... I mean, maybe I remembered something?"

"Well, what did you forget or remember?"

And he didn't answer in words, but instead caressed your cheeks with his hands, and pulled you in for a kiss. It was soft, delicate like he was. You closed your eyes, reaching up on your tippy toes to push yourself deeper into the kiss, closer into Embry, like you wanted to be engulfed by him, surrounded and ensnared by the all thing Embry.

His mouth worked against yours, movements equal parts measured and natural, calculated and instinct. He walked forward, forcing you into the house where he kicked the door shut behind him, keeping you tight against him. His tongue sliding against your lower lip, but the pulling it between his teeth, biting just hard enough to make you gasp.

But then he switched, kissing you slower, more tender than you've ever known. Until he pulled away, holding you close but just looking at you. He smiled, it was so small, you nearly missed it, the way the corners of his mouth twitched upwards. And he kissed you again, one lingering peck. Before pulling away, trailing his hands slowly over your arms, the light touch of his fingers on your arms made you shiver. And when he got to your hands, he entertwined your fingers, holding both your hands.

"You're so beautiful," he said, "I'm sorry I didn't come see you sooner."

"Forgiven," you said, meaning it.

He smiled. Every single feature on his face was sculpted and perfect. He let go of one hand, brushing your hair off of your face, tucking it behind your ear. "But don't answer the door like that at this hour again, too dangerous."

You laughed, hitting him softly. He laughed too, bringing you into a hug, pulling you into his chest.

He would have to tell you everything. There was still a lot unspoken, but he would tell you everything tomorrow, but for now, for right now, he was just gunna hold you. And that was enough.

[honeybeedrabble]

Dangerous Desires (ix) - Home Coming

CW: spanking/brat taming, hair pulling, biting, licking, breast play, marking, unprotected piv (dont be stupid), rough sex, slight fingering, degradation, choking, cream-pie (DONT BE STUPID), probs some shit editing, LMK what i missed !!

word count: 10K 💀💀

18+ MDNI !!!!!

You stood in front of the hokage, heart beating out of your chest. You were nervous, that much was obvious. However you couldn’t wrap your head around why you were summoned. Lady Tsunade finished writing her last few words into her notes, stapling them together and setting them aside to address you.

“You must be wondering why I’ve sent for you,” she started, sitting up in her seat. Her face was somber.

“I can’t say you’re wrong.”

“What I’m about to tell you is something only a very select few know about.” Tsunade started, hands clasped together on the desk. “We’re about to go to war.”

You were shocked- was Kakashi really telling the truth?! Was he right all along?! Your emotions were everywhere and it was evident on your face.

“I know, I know it’s a lot to take in. I myself am not sure if I’ve taken it in yet.” She seemed stressed, you could see the worry behind her soft brown eyes.

“Lady Tsunade… who are we at war with?”

“My dear who aren’t we at war with?” She sadly laughed to herself. “Truth be told we’re fighting against a greater force than we know. I hate to say this but we’re looking at a fourth great ninja war.“ Your eyes widened, body filled with anxiety.

“A fourth great war? Are you serious?”

“I’m as serious as death. In fact, there’s going to be a five kage summit soon and I’ll need to attend to talk about said war.”

“So… The war isn’t with the other nations? I mean… if there’s going to be a summit with all five nations, doesn’t that mean neither is the threat?” You asked, still confused.

“Exactly.”

“Then who’s the threat?”

“I can’t discuss that with you.”

“Then why have I been summoned Lady Tsunade? If you can’t tell me who the enemy is tell me what I’m here for.” You were starting to get angry, worried for what you’d been told previously.

“You need to fight in this war.” Tsunade said plainly. “With medical jutsu like yours we would be idiots not to use you. I’m telling you now that we’re not asking you to enlist, but rather we are drafting.” Kakashi was right.

You couldn’t believe him, it was impossible to. How could this be happening? It wasn’t long since you’ve been here and already you’re being drafted in the war. It was exactly how Kakashi had told you, no denying it. This is your job, what you were sent to do, the only thing you know how to do, so damn right you’re going to use your blessing to help all you can.

“I’m well aware of my capabilities my lady, and in fact I find it a great honor to be drafted by you personally.”

“You’re taking this a lot better than I thought you would, I must thank you for that.” She sighed a relieved breath, hand clutching her chest.

“I have no other choice but to. This is what I signed up for when moving to Konoha. I decided the day I learned my first medical justu I would help the world become a better place. If you hadn’t drafted me I would’ve signed up myself. It’s my duty, this is my home.” Your words moved Tsunade, she smiled softly at you. Her face dropped suddenly.

“I’m glad you believe that, and I’m glad to have someone like you be so ready for whatever is to come, really I am. But because you’re going to be in the war I need to to preserve your chakra. Because of this, I forbid you from working at the hospital.” She looked away from you, knowing she didn’t want to see the determination wash away from your face in real time.

“Are you… are you firing me?”

“I’m afraid so. I cant have you waste any of your precious chakra on a few sick patients when we are going to have armies full of injured shinobi on the front lines. We have enough medical personnel at the hospital already, so with you being as high ranked as you are we must save you for the battlefield. You understand don’t you?”

“Lady Tsunade what more do I have other than my job? How long will it be until we are in war? I-I can’t be out of work that long.”

“I’m sorry but my hands are tied.” Her voice was almost as sad as yours, she worriedly watched as your eyes started to well with tears.

“Please my lady. Don’t do this to me.” She got up from her desk and walked over to you, hugging you tightly against her.

“It’s going to be alright, I promise. I just need you to rest up. We’ll be destroyed without you, please just trust me.” You hugged eachother until you could calm down, you wiped any tears that fell and stepped aside.

“Lady Tsunade I have a request to make.”

“What is it dear?”

“I want to go home. Back to my village and see my parents one last time before I go to war. I think it’s only reasonable to see them one last time, as me coming home alive and well is uncertain.” Tsunade stepped back and looked at you, a hand draped softly on your shoulder.

“I accept the request. How long will you be gone?”

“Probably under a week.”

“Then so be it. You’re dismissed.”

You walked out of the office and back home with an intense sadness inside of you. You gave up on Kakashi because you loved your job. Now your job has been stolen from you and it was all for nothing. Everything that had given you value- that had given you purpose- is now gone. You wondered if you should even return home or not.

You decided it would be a good idea if you told your friends Machi and Gale you’d be gone for the next few days, back at home until you decided you needed to come back. They understood and wished you well on your journey.

Kakashi was a mess, thinking about how poorly he treated you during your sexcapade, saying he hated you and fucking you so roughly he wasn’t sure if he had hurt you or not. Who care if he did? You hurt him worse. You hurt him in a way nobody else has. How could you treat him like he was somebody only to leave him like he was nothing? At least, that’s how he saw it.

Business at The Poison Sandwich was slow today, maybe the sadness was in the air. Kakashi ate his BLT, thoughts of you racing through his head. Even up until he heard your name uttered by the two girls you held dearly as friends.

“So she went back home.” Gale said to the cook behind the counter.

“I’ve been thinking about visiting a few of the sandwich shops in her village for a while now actually.” Percy smiled from behind the counter.

“Wait… she went back?” Kakashi interrupted, unsure if he heard right.

“Yeah, yesterday. Said she’s be back in a few days.” Machi said, looking over at Percy. “He said he was going to go the her village pretty soon to try out the food there.”

“Is this true Percy?” Kakashi asked his friend, who nodded as he discarded his white apron.

“Yeah. Why?”

“Can I come?” Kakashi asked, cursing himself. What was he thinking?

“Well as long as you don’t have any other plans for the rest of the day, I see no problem. I’m heading off now, so get ready.” Percy said, untying his apron and tossing it on a nearby countertop. “Ladies, you don’t mind closing shop for me, do you?”

And of course, as enamored with the man as they were, had zero issue and took care of business as he and Kakashi took off.

_____________

Kakashi was shocked to see the strange motorized bike that Percy had built, looking it up and down in shock and awe at the mechanism.

“What is this, if I may ask?”

“Well I’m not a shinobi like you so getting around to long distances isn’t easy for me. I built this myself as a way to make the trips easier.” Percy said, tossing Kakashi a black helmet. Kakashi caught it and reluctantly adorned it, his silver hair peeking out from underneath.

As Percy started the machine Kakashi sat in the back behind him, pondering why he had felt the need for such an impromptu visit to your hometown. He didn’t know why he felt this way, especially after the way you had treated him. Once again he felt alone, abandoned by your heartlessness and eager mindset to go fight off in a war that he felt would mame and kill you the second you had your back turned to the enemy.

“Kakashi… what’s been going on with you?” Percy asked, snapping Kakashi out of the trance he found himself in.

“I’m sorry?” He asked, puzzled at his friends sudden questioning.

“Listen... Gale, Machi, and I all know about your secret affair. And we don’t care- we support it honestly. But ever since you two have had a falling out… we’ve noticed a change.” Percy’s voice was somber as he drove throughout the thick forest, focused on the destination while his heart was stuck in the conversation. Kakashi was silent a moment, his mind was racing. Was it safe to tell his friend the truth? To let the secrets of his beloved lay out in front of someone who was only watching from the outside?

“I’m not sure I understand,” he replied monotoned. His outside demeanor was cool, but anyone who really knew what was going on inside his mind could tell the intricacies of his tone, picking up the way his voice would lilt anxiously as he declared this inquiry.

“Well I’m sure you do, so don’t play dumb with me Hatake,” Percy snapped, he wasn’t playing games- Kakashi was sure of this now.

“Well what do you want me to tell you? Sometimes people don’t work out the way they meant to, we don’t have control over these things. All you need to know is that me and her are… we’re complicated.”

“Bullshit.” Kakashi was taken aback.

“What are you talking about?” The wind was blowing through his hair, headband threatening to blow off his eye. He held it tight, looking at his thighs for avoidance.

“I’m talking about your seriously psychotic desire for control. You’ve wanted her from the moment you met her, haven’t you?” Percy asked, revving the engine of his bike.

“More than anything…” Kakashi admitted, vision still remained on his thighs.

“And ever since then, what have you done?”

Kakashi thought about it for a moment. What had he done? He had fucked you on his desk, broken into your home and stolen your underwear, touched you while you slept, fucked you at work, fucked you on missions- gods... the list could only go on.

“I’ve done all I could.” He clutched his fists, hating how horribly his stomach churned. “And yet it still wasn’t enough.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that my love for her has consumed me, my body, brain, and soul. She’s all I think about- ever. She’s everything, and everywhere. No matter what time of day or night, I can feel her down to the very air I breathe. I’ve tried for what has felt like forever to have her all to myself.”

“Why all to yourself?”

“Because the thought of her with anyone else makes me violent,” Kakashi said, regretting his words the very moment they spilled past his lips.

Percy remained quiet, Kakashi wasn’t sure if it was so he could talk more or not. He stayed silent for a while too. He wondered wether Percy was judging him, then again he didn’t care too much, it wasn’t him who was worried about public appearances.

“Sometimes I can feel my blood boil when I see another man talking to her. She makes me feel at peace, not just in my mind but in my soul. I love that woman down to the marrow in my bones and to think that some other man could see her and only see her for her beauty, only see her for something to use makes me sick. I can practically feel the bile in my throat just thinking about it.”

“So she makes you feel calm?” Percy didn’t seem to be turned off by the way Kakashi spoke of you, it was as if they were having a conversation so casual it was comparable to one about the weather.

“It’s beyond that,” Kakashi felt his heart flutter as he thought of you, his mind running with excitement just at the opportunity to talk about you.

“Sometimes I think about my past and all the people who have left me. Some of them chose to, some of them didn’t. Regardless, whenever I’d get attached to someone they’d leave, I didn’t have any control over it. Maybe it was because I was weak, or too young to have any real say in the matter. But now it’s different. I’m stronger and I’m older, no matter how you look at it I’m ten times the person I was all those years ago.” Percy remained silent, listening intently to his friend. Something he wouldn’t do to much of as Kakashi wasn’t the type to open up easily.

“When I met her, I knew instantly I loved her. It was a fact just as true as the sky is blue. I don’t think about all the horrible things from my youth whenever she’s around, not when all I can think about is the possibility of my old age spent with this wonderful woman. And the only way to have a future with her is if she doesn’t leave. I’ve grown beyond a simple lust for her, I've realized I can’t escape these feelings. I learned about her past, her favorite flowers and I’ve showered her in as much affection I can show without being too much. I’m sure I’ve crossed that boundary already but I can’t help it, I have too much inside to not let go of.”

“So you want something serious with her?”

“Yes.”

“Why call it quits now? After everything you’ve gone through, why give up?”

“Because she’s going to leave me,” He ran a hand through his silver hair, holding back a tear that was heard through the slight crack in his voice.

“She told you she doesn’t want to be together anymore?” Percy asked, wondering if what his girlfriends told him about you was true or not. He remembered hearing how you liked Kakashi too, but was afraid of ridicule, yet still craved his love beneath it all.

“She wants to fight in a possible deadly battle. I cant disclose much but that’s all I can say.”

“But she’s strong isn’t she? Plus she’s a medic, so wouldn’t she be able to heal herself if anything happened?” Percy asked, unsure about the severity of this “battle”.

“You don’t get it,” Kakashi sighed, leaning his forehead against Percy’s back. “I can keep her through affection and intimacy, that’s one thing we both know we have for each other, it’s apparent. But I can’t keep her from getting herself killed. Death is around every corner for people like me and her.”

“Shinobi, you mean?”

“Exactly. I don’t want to be in love with someone and yearn for them every second we aren’t together just for them to leave and die. It’s not fair to torture myself like that. I’d rather call it quits early before I’m doomed to live a life of suffering. I couldn’t deal with it.”

“Kakashi, you already are.” Percy didn’t care to tiptoe around the fact, he was tired of all the beating around the bush. Kakashi sat there a moment, his head still resting against his friends back.

He closed his eyes, occasionally catching himself to hold onto the bike better as they jostled over small rocks and bumps along their path. Kakashi didn’t have much to say about that, but it did prompt a lot of thinking, not that he could do much with Percy being such a chatterbox.

“You need to hear me out with this, okay? Love is like a sandwich-“

“Good gods, spare me the metaphors…”

“I’m going somewhere with this trust me!!” Percy yelled defensively, his volume mostly washed out by the breeze blowing by. “You can have all the amazing fillings you want: intimacy, shared experiences, passion, romance, all that is great but without the bread that keeps it together it’s just a bunch of things slopped together. What makes a sandwich a sandwich is the bread that keeps it together- a solid foundation, trust. And sure, it’s going to be messy at times, but that just comes with that delicious journey we all sign up for.”

“Is there a point to this analogy?”

“Obviously, dumbass. You have all the makings for a great relationship except for the bread… the trust. The bread you’ve got is thin- real thin. Meaning it’s not able to keep all that great stuff inside. The only way that meals gonna end is with everything falling out. Do you know why your bread is thin?” Percy asked, dodging a large rock in the middle of the path.

“Because of my insecurities…” Kakashi admitted, his face heating up.

“Bingo.”

He sat with this realization, mostly because he was metaphorically eaten up alive by one of his best friends. That aside, he looked at the bigger picture. Was he really that insecure about his trust in you? He knew you were strong, but was he actually just insecure you would rather die than be with him?! Was he really that codependent on you? That wasn’t possible, not with war being such a great threat. Percy didn’t know that though, so that’s another thing to factor in. Regardless, there still was valid food for thought presented to him.

“Well how far away are we now?” Kakashi asked, looking around at the new environment.

“Wont take longer than a few minutes, bud. Relax, we’ll be there in no time.”

___________________

Percy was right of course, only a few minutes later and the two were parked outside the large wooden gates. Sounds of children’s laughter and music could be heard just beyond, as well as the smell of amazing food clouding their senses. Kakashi and Percy walked in, delighted by all the new sights and sounds, it seemed like a festival was taking place, although they had zero clue what it was for.

While it did seem magical at first glance, Kakashi knew the truth behind this villages facade. When he truly looked around beyond the vibrant colors and fun attractions, he saw very sick people lurking around the streets, some even begging for spare money. He sighed to himself, judging all the men who walked by with their expensive robes who were laughing at the sick and elderly.

“Kakashi! Over here!” Percy called to him from beyond the crowd.

Kakashi looked over to where his friend was and saw a small shop next to some sort of brothel-esque building. He tilted his head in curiosity at him, raising both arms in a shrugging position.

“No- come over here! This is the place I came here for!” Percy called louder, holding open the shops door to signal he was about to enter.

Kakashi jogged over there, still overwhelmed by all the excitement going around. When he caught up with Percy, he suddenly felt something very familiar. It was that calmness in his soul he had described to Percy earlier. He spun around, trying to see what it was and if he could follow it.

“Something the matter?” Percy asked, shutting the door.

Kakashi turned his head and saw a small staircase on the outside of the establishment that led to a second story door. He furrowed his brow looking at the door, feeling a strange calling towards whatever was just beyond it.

“No… I guess it’s nothing.” He said, turning towards Percy as he opened the door and walked inside.

It was a small restaurant, a few tables here and there as well as a large island that a middle aged man stood at.

“Hi, welcome in fellas! Take a seat anywhere you want, I’ll get you both a few menus to look at!” He said cheerily, ducking behind the island to grab two menus.

Percy sat at the island in front of the man, Kakashi followed and took the seat next to him. The older man gave them their menus and went in the back to give them some time.

“Are you hungry at all?” Percy asked, skimming the drinks side.

“I could eat,” Kakahi responded, suddenly craving a sandwich more than anything.

There were quite a few options to choose from. Some vegan options, some vegetarian, and some sort of dessert types with various different fruits, custards, and cream fillings. Kakashi was in the mood for something more traditional and hearty, deciding he would ask for a grilled chicken sandwich.

The man reappeared with a small notepad and pen, leaning against the countertop.

“You two ready to order?” He asked, looking at Kakashi first.

“Yeah, may I please have the grilled chicken sandwich?” He asked, pointing to the menu. The man wrote it down and then asked for Percy’s order.

“I’ll have this breakfast sandwich,” Percy said.

“A little late don’t you think?” The man laughed, taking both menus.

“Well you know… breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Why not have it anytime of day?” Percy laughed. The man furrowed a brow and Percy grimaced, embarrassed by his joke falling flat.

Kakashi couldn’t help but feel that comforting aura getting stronger around him. He looked around, maybe it was the environment? Just then it became much stronger, as if all this muscles had relaxed in just that moment. It felt less like an aura and more like a chakra. He quickly looked behind the man and towards the curtains that led to the back. What he saw he couldn’t believe.

You emerged from beyond the curtains, holding two cups of water in your hands. When you looked up you immediately locked eyes with him. You must’ve felt the same muscle relaxation as Kakashi, you suddenly dropped both cups catching the eyes of the room.

“Kakashi…?”

_________________________________

You had arrived to this hometown of yours not too long after you left Konoha. You watched as children ran around happily through the village with their prizes from games going on throughout the streets. You sighed, walking down the paths of the place you once called home, knowing the happiest of people were just tourists in this living hell your family and community was trapped in.

You approached your families restaurant, smiling at the nostalgic feeling it filled you with. You grabbed the handle and walked in, your father standing just behind the island. He called you name excitedly, rushing over to you to hold you in a tight hug.

“You’ve come home! What are you doing here? You didn’t get kicked out, did you?” He teased, letting you go to get a good look at you. You nervously laughed.

“No, it’s not that.” You said, rubbing the back of your neck.

“Well whatever the reason is, it’s nice seeing you again.”

“Um… can I talk to you upstairs for a moment? There’s something I need to tell you… it has to do with me being here actually.”

He nodded and held the curtain for you to walk through. Beyond the kitchen in the back was a small door that led to a staircase, that staircase led to the small flat you and your family grew up in. When you both had settled down in the living room, you had assumed your mother would be there, however she was not. Puzzled, you two sat on a nearby couch and you faced him to ask.

“Did mom go out somewhere? I mean… I didn’t see her in the restaurant or kitchen and it’s a little late to still be in bed…” Your fathers face fell, looking at the carpeting.

“Your mother is uh… well there’s no easy way to say this. Your mothers in the hospital.” You felt your heart drop.

“What’s wrong with her? Why didn’t you send a message?! I could’ve come home to help her- what’s going on dad?!” you asked, voice shaking.

He sighed deeply, rubbing his temples with one hand anxiously.

“We aren’t sure what was wrong with her but… we knew that with the big move and that new job of yours you’d have some real stress. We couldn’t put that on you, so we made the decision to send her to a nearby hospital to get her checked out.”

“Fuck…” you sighed, holding your head in your hands. “You need to take me to her, I can heal her… or fix her or… something- anything! Gods dad, what the hell?! Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“Sweetie it’s fine, your mothers going to be okay-“

“Dad that’s a lot of money! For crying out loud, how are you going to afford the hospital bills?”

“We’ll be fine! as long as you’re okay we’ll be just fine.”

“Here, let me see if I have any extra money on me,” you reached into your pockets for your wallet. Your father quickly nudged your arm away.

“Please don’t, you have enough on your plate already. Why don’t you tell me what you needed to say earlier, okay?” He asked, putting on a small smile.

You frowned.

“Well, since we’re getting everything out in the open…” You took in a deep breath, letting it out with a shaky breath. “I’m going to war.”

You felt your heart shatter the way you watched your fathers face drop again. It was as if he was being told his only child was about to be killed right in front of him.

“Dad, I know how it’s sounds but I don’t have any other choice. There are people who need me, I signed up for this- this is my job.“

“I understand.” He said softly. You frowned, pulling him into a hug.

“I wanted to see you and mom one last time before I left… I know it’s a worst case scenario but… if anything were to happen, I wanted to tell you both goodbye.” You heard your father sob in your ear, holding you tightly. You couldn’t help yourself from crying either and wept with him on the sofa.

“I know you’re strong, and I know you’re valuable, but I’m still so worried,” he sputtered, you patted his back to comfort him but it did next to nothing.

“I know, but I promise you I’m not going down without a fight. I swear to you and mom I’m not going to let myself be weak.” You said sternly, almost as if you weren’t choking back a rivers worth of tears.

After a few more minutes and you and your father had calmed down, you sat there and discussed the situation of war. What it meant for you and your family. You said that with the money you had, it’ll all go to them if you died and they’d be able to move far away, to a better village and have a good financial place for themselves. Your father wasn’t pleased to hear about this and almost cried again. To get his mind off of it, you told him about your job and all the people you met at Konoha.

“Machi and Gale, huh? They sound quite nice! You even have your own students, sounds like you’ve adapted pretty well,” you dad smiled, tears drying on his cheeks.

“I have,” you smiled back, a blush forming in your face when you remembered Kakashi was one of the first you grew close with, even if it started out so riske.

“What’s that look for, hmm?” Your father asked, teasing you for the small blush across your face.

“It’s nothing,” you replied, putting a hand to your cheek and feeling the warmth on your skin.

“Don’t lie to me, I know that look pretty well. You must’ve met someone who isn’t just a friend or a student to you, so tell me!” He laughed, playfully swatting you on your arm.

“I mean, yeah there is someone,” you smirk, shortly after your face fell.

“Um… is everything alright?”

“Yeah, It’s just… things are complicated right now.”

“Oh,” you father said sadly, crossing his arms.

“But he’s a really great guy!” you perked up.

“He?” Your father asked. You nodded. “Does he have a name?”

“He might.”

“He might? What might it be?”

“It might be Kakashi.” Just the your fathers arms uncrossed, his eyes widening.

“As in Kakashi Hatake?”

“Oh great,” you sighed, hating this conversation immediately. “Yeah, why?”

“Because that’s the famous copy ninja! I’ve got to say I’m impressed.” You groaned, holding your knees to your chest now.

“Please stop embarrassing me.”

“I’m not trying to, I’m just suprised that a man like that can be in a relationship with you.” Immediately you grew defensive.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Your brows furrowed.

“Woah, I didnt mean it like that! It’s just… he’s known for being such a hardened shinobi. Who knew there was a heart beneath the mask?” He nervously laughed.

“I knew.” You added. Your father frowned, nervously fidgeting in his seat.

“I’m sorry, " you sighed. "I didn’t mean to be so snappy. It’s just that we’ve spent a lot of time together and he means a lot to me. I’ve seen a lot of his sides and even though he drives me crazy I can’t help but love him regardless. He makes me feel seen, and appreciated. No matter how bitchy I am he keeps trying, nobody else has ever been this patient with me. And what makes things even crazier, is that I feel so drawn to him. It’s like my whole life has led up to the moment we’d meet. Oh, what am I saying? This is starting to get weird, I’ll stop while I’m ahead,” your face felt extremely hot, you avoiding looking at your dad.

“No it’s fine, I get it.” He said, patting you on the back.

“Yeah, thanks.” Silence.

“So what makes things so complicated?”

“‘What isn’t complicated’ is a better question,” although you knew that answer was something entirely too inappropriate to say.

“It’s that bad?”

“Yes and no. It’s a long story, I couldn’t get into it.”

“Well whatever the case may be, you sound like you really love him. In fact, I caught onto you saying that,” he smirked.

“Please stop.”

“Fine.” he raised his hands defensively, then stood up from his seat at the couch. “Now we can sit here moping all day or we can spend time together like we used to. What do you say?”

“Moping sounds good but we can’t afford that right now so let’s work the restaurant like we used to.” You smiled, following him down that stairs.

___________________

“Kakashi…?”

So that’s what it was, it was you all along. He should have known better. Kakashi stood up, uttering your name back to you. You weren’t sure what to do. Truth be told you didn’t forgive him for putting you out on the spot like that, but you also knew there was no real reason for him to forgive you either.

“I’m sorry but would you excuse us for a minute?” Kakashi asked Percy as he motioned to speak to you outside.

“No.” Percy said, fidgeting with his napkin. Your father shot you a concerned look, finally putting two and two together. You patted him on the back reassuringly.

“It shouldn’t take long, we’ll just have a chat upstairs.” You reached into your pocket for a set of keys, walking out the front door of the establishment, Kakashi on your tail.

You two walked out in silence and he followed you up the outside stairs, staying quiet as you unlocked the door and stepped inside. He looked around and it appeared to be your old bedroom, posters and ribbons hanging on the walls. It felt homey to him, more so when he noticed preserved flowers laying on your desk, jasmine to be exact.

“So did you follow me here or did you-“ he cut you off with his lips against yours. Your eyes grew wide in shock. But the moment he put his hand on the small of your back you felt entirely different. Your eyes closed softly and your hands tangled in his hair. You felt a familiar fire burn in your chest, your heart fluttering as his beat in tandem with yours.

“Kakashi,” you sighed, his grip on you becoming tighter. He pushed you against the door, keeping his grasp on you impossibly firm. “Now’s not a good-“

“Stop talking, damnit.” he huffed, his breath hot against your skin. Immediately you shut your mouth, only opening it again to allow his tongue to brush up against yours.

You locked the door while you were still up against it, then resumed pulling on his hair. You also pushed your body against his firm chest, feeling your loins flutter as his breathing became heavier and his kisses more desperate. Kakashis tongue prodded into your mouth, caressing your own as if it lost it, rejoicing in the feeling of finding it again. His body language spoke the same dialect, his arms tense while they wrapped around you, legs locked in place as they cornered you against the wooden door.

You grabbed onto his vest, yanking it off of him and it was only for a moment when his arms left your body. His vest sliding off of him and landing on the floor, he swiftly kicked it away and then resumed his primal grip against your body. He pulled you into him, a breath of air escaping your lungs the moment he ripped your body off the floor. Your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, head falling to your shoulder while his teeth sunk into your neck, you let out a small grunt from the pain that you couldn’t welcome enough.

“Kashi?” you whispered heavily. He cut you off with another sloppy kiss, the rough smack of his lips against yours had you digging your nails into his back through his body con long sleeve. “What are you doing-“ another kiss “here?”

“What does it look like?” He huffed, hands sneaking past your shirt as he caressed your back with his long fingers. Your breath hitched at the feeling of him touching your bare skin, hair on the back of your neck raising while the tickling sensation of his calloused fingertips roamed your skin.

“I know what you’re doing, but why?”

“I needed you,” he rasped, fingers digging into your skin, his own nails now dragging down your skin. You shuddered in his grasp, thighs clamping down tight around his abdomen. “Must I need any other reason?”

“No…” you knew this was rhetorical, but the gratification you gained from answering him regardless heightened your arousal, giving into him just like you always did. “Needed me for what?” you asked, your chest rising and falling as you struggled to gain your composure.

“I just needed to see you,” Kakashi muttered licking the slight teeth marks that curved along your neck. “I missed this… the way things were before. Y’know I thought about inviting you over the other night?”

“To your apartment?” You were suddenly curious. He nodded, his hands now rubbing down your back, causing you to shiver once again. “What would we do?”

“I don’t even know. I was just so empty without you, even you being in my presence would be enough for me. However, I’m sure we’d find ways to entertain ourselves,” He leaned in closely to your ear “Wanna know how exactly?”

When he said this he thrusted himself into you, his hard package pressing right up against your clothed cunt. You moaned, grinding down on the new stimulation the moment you could, completely void of embarrassment or shame.

“Y-yeah,” your heart was practically in your throat now, however you felt the heartbeats much, much lower.

“Well, I had something in mind,” he hummed, his hands now on your asscheeks, gripping them harshly.

“Ngh- Like what?”

“I was thinking about how bad you’ve been lately,” his breath was almost burning the skin of your neck, you wanted him to so badly rip your clothes off of you and take you to bed. His hair smelled so good, you kept digging your fingers inside of the fluffy mass, gently pulling at it while it tangled between your fingers. He grunted slightly.

“Just like how you are right now,” it came out a purr, vibrations coming up from deep inside his chest. “You’ve been a bad girl. Sometimes I can barely recognize you.”

You didn’t know why you felt so ashamed about his words, a wave of regret crashing hard against you.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, unsure why the apology came so easy.

“So you admit you’ve been a bad girl?” he asked with amusement in his tone, his voice hoarse as he spoke deep into your neck.

“I’m as bad as they come,” you admitted, legs wrapping around even tighter. He chuckles softly.

“Oh? Well then I think we both know what that means,” his cock twitched underneath his pants, you had to sink your nails into your palms to avoid getting handsy. “I think you need to be punished severely.”

The hair on the back of your neck stood up, goosebumps rising on your skin immediately. He carried you over to your bed, tossing you down on it. You crashed against it, a loud squeak echoing through the room. You blushed, hoping to whatever god there was that nobody downstairs could hear.

“What are you going to do with me?” You asked, your hands rubbing where he bit you on your neck.

“You want to know your punishment?” An amused smile spread across his face. You nodded. “Well that’s for me to know and you to find out.”

You felt frustrated, already wanting him to lash out on you, it felt like torture the way he stood over you, patently keeping his hands to himself.

“Please?” you whispered, one of your hands moving south of your body, he watched as your sunk your hands under your waistband, eyes blowing wide when your mouth fell open.

He grabbed your wrist and yanked it back out, pinning it down and above your head.

“I think you need another spanking.” You bit your lip, trying to hide your excitement, your panties already wet when he increased the pressure of his hand.

He sat down next to you, letting go of your wrist and instead using his hand to grab your hair into a tight pony tail, causing you to sit up.

“Should I bend over your lap?” it came out as a mewl, your desperation evident on your face.

“How funny that you just want to jump straight into it,” he smiled in your face, shiny teeth gleaming back at your from beyond his perfect lips. “Sweet girl, maybe you do know how to behave,” he kissed you softly, then had you bend over his lap.

With one hand still firm in your hair, the other pulled down your pants, your panties coming down with it. You clenched around nothing as the cool air hit your wet cunt, a shiver was sent up your back.

“Such a slut, excited for her spanking.” He caressed your soft globes, you hummed excitedly, almost moaning at the delicate touch. “If I hadn’t done this previously I would’ve assumed you didn’t know what this was. Is that true? Are you a stupid girl who doesn’t know what a spanking is?” he cooed, his hand grabbing you hip harshly, fingers digging into your skin.

You grunted, knowing with this much pressure he would leave bruises along you skin for days, weeks even.

“It’s not pleasant, at least not the way I do it, remember? It’s gonna hurt, way more than a few soft taps.”

“I’m hoping for it,” you replied back, surprised by your own response and enthusiasm.

“Oh yeah?” he also seemed surprised, pleasantly surprised. A wicked smile was plastered on his face, searching your eyes with his own. “How long have you been wanting this for? I mean, you’re so obedient. I cant help but assume you’ve fantasized about this ever since last time,” his grip of your hair tightened, you smiled up at him devilishly.

“I’ve been wanting this since I last saw you.”

“Good answer,” he smirked. “Are you ready?”

You nodded quickly, arching your back as the tension builds up in your body.

“An even better answer." his fingertips glided againsty the curve of your back. "I don’t care if you scream or cry, in fact it would make this more enjoyable,” he hummed, pulling on your hair. “Now sit still.”

Kakashis hand came down hard on your backside, a loud slap echoed in your ears. You let out a depraved moan, biting your lip as the stinging starting to settle on your asscheek. He took a moment to take in the look on your face, ogling the flush of color across your cheeks. Quicker, and much harder this time, he struck you again with his ever-so-firm hand.

You whined, squirming in his lap until he spanked you again. After his next, you dug your nails into the mattress beneath you, huffing deep breaths in and out. Kakashi laughs softly, watching your soft ass turn a bright pink as he punished you.

“How many can you handle? You want me to get creative?” he asked happily, softly rubbing circles on your abused skin.

“Y-yesss…” your voice was trembling.

“If you say so. But it makes me wonder… how much pain can this pretty little ass take?”

“I deserve it, we both know I’ve been bad,” you mutter, nails coming out of the mattress as you slowly began to get less tense with each rub of Kakashis hand.

“Yes you have,” Kakashi exclaimed amused. “Do you know how bad? Answer me.” He smacked you again, and all you could muster was a string of whimpers and groans, no real words coming to your mind.

“Answer me properly. I don’t want to hear your little moans. I want a real answer. Tell me what you’ve done.”

“I… I’ve kept you a secret…” you whispered, your hand stroking his knee. “And the worst part is I’ve been fantasizing about you this whole time.”

“Interesting. For how long, give me a number.” He pulls your hair, tilting your face upwards so your eyes are locked.

“8 weeks,” you confess, looking away to avoid his strong gaze.

“8 weeks? How filthy have you been? What’s the most inappropriate thing you’ve fantasized about me doing?” He pulled your hair tighter, forcing you to look back at him.

“I’ve thought about you defiling me.” Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

“That’s all? I’m not going to lie, I expected more from you.” His hand move from your ass to your hip, once again squeezing it tightly. You winced.

“I-I’ve thought about you waking me up just so you can use me to get yourself off,” you blurted out. Kakashi perked up, much more interested.

“Anything else? You’ve had 8 weeks,” clearly he was having fun toying with you. It felt like torture dumping your fantasies onto him, but you couldn’t help spilling your guts.

“I’ve thought about pleasuring you.”

“Go on.” His grip became looser, yet still firm.

“I’d use my mouth.” He smirked.

“Is that all?” You wanted to melt into his lap, escape his massive presence.

“And my hands…”

“Well, don’t you have a plethora of talents,” he teased, bringing his hand back and quickly down his to your ass. You flinched, but before he could make contact he stopped himself, laughing softly. Your face burned hot.

“Anything else? I mean, 8 whole weeks is a looong time,” he raised his eyebrow again, looking directly in your eyes.

“Well…”

“Spit it out, don’t be a tease. I know you can say more.” His words made your skin tingle.

“I’ve thought about how mad you were at me, ignoring me all the time at the office. So I thought about trying to rile you up, get you even angrier. Just so maybe you’d snap and use me without holding back.” He loosened his grip on you.

“You really want that? For me to take my frustration out on you?”

“Yes.” You gripped his knee tighter.

“You really are a bad girl, aren’t you?” He smirked, grip getting firmer in your hair again.

“I am.”

“Do you have no shame? Ass in the air, panties off, pussy soaking wet, and looking me in my eye while you tell me about all the filth you’ve imagined about me. Sweet girl, you’re more perverted than I thought.” He pulled your hair back further, his mouth connected with your more a quick kiss.

“I bet you’ll say anything at this point if it’ll make me happy, huh? You’ve completely given yourself to me, isn’t that right?” With lidded eyes you nodded looking up at him.

“Are you mine to use?” Amused curiousity lingering in his voice.

“Yes.” Right after you confirmed this, another rough smack was right up against your ass. You yelped, once again digging your finger into the mattress.

“You like that, don’t you? You like getting hit by me.” You nod. Another rough smack. “Say it.” he practically barked.

“I- I like it! I like getting hit by you!” You wanted to curl up in embarrassment, once again hoping nobody could hear you. Kakashi had a wicked look on his face.

“I wonder how many times can I hit this ass of yours before you cry? Are you a tough girl?” He asked condescendingly.

“Yes…” He hit you harder, producing a loud moan out of you. He laughed.

“Are you tough or what? You seem to be enjoying this more than I expected,” this time he struck you lower, so that his palm was right up against the back of your thigh. You desperately squirm again, breathing shakily. He hits you there again, smiling to himself.

“Oh? Am I hitting a sensitive spot?” You almost shrieked when he smacked it again. “So I did find a sensitive spot,” he leaned down closely so that that he was almost in your ear.

“I’m going to keep smacking you, riiight here until your crying and begging me to stop.” And that’s what he did. Over and over again, watching as you rubbed your legs together, slick coating the feverish in-between of your legs.

“How many more spanks can you get before you cry? 10? 20? I know you can take it,” he kept spanking you, each one lighting you up until your ass was red. As he spanked you, he enjoyed watching your eyes roll back, your whimpers echo softly in your room, and your body spasm after each moment of contact.

“You must nearly be at the edge, huh?” Your eyes rolled back to normal, welling with tears. “Awww, is that it? Is that all you can take?”

He delivered the final blow, you moaned loudly, tears flowing down your cheeks. You felt lightheaded, pain and pleasure circulating inside of you. The erotic sensation making it's way up your spine, the hairs on the back of your neck stood up.

“Aww… did I do that? Did I make the tough, pretty girl cry?” You nod, unable to verbalize a single thought. “Such a good girl, taking it like a champ. I have to say, I admire how well you kept your composure… well at least most of it.”

He pulled your hair back, your head coming closer to him and he placed a soft kiss on your forehead. You shut your eyes and bit your lip, your heart melting at his sudden tender affection.

While still having a good grasp of your pony tail, Kakashi slung you over to the side, trapping you against him and the bed. He had you pinned, your wrists above your head. When he towered his large form over you his lips brushed against yours, his scent was everywhere. You closed your eyes again, and felt how his eyelashes fluttered against your cheek as he bent down lower and licked up your neck.

You smirked, a sudden tickle causing you to slightly spasm, Kakashi laughed softly when he saw it. He instead turned to biting you, the feeling of his teeth in your neck filled you with the most euphoric nostalgia. You sighed, legs bending so your knees could squeeze his waist. He rutted his hips into your core, and you shuddered as the wet juices pooled in your cunt and trickled down your legs.

Kakashi looked up at you, lips curled into a cocky smile, pressing softly against your own. You parted your lips, his soft tongue dragging along your plump lip, before his teeth gently trapped it and he bit into it possessively. You never started the day thinking he'd be showing up at your old home, about to fuck you senseless into the mattress you've spent countless nights on. It seemed to you like Kakashi's fate was to always appear, and so was your passionate desire for him.

Kakashi's kiss could make your loins ache like a wildfire, yet it could also make your breaths slow and your heart melt. Maybe it was fate?

I am safe here. His arms are open, his tongue is tender, and I don't need to struggle anymore.

Its all you could think about, really.

Two fingers circled your drenched clit, Kakashi watched your hole clench around nothing. He licked his lips watching your pretty cunt swallow his didgets shortly after, curling up as he pumped in and out.

“She’s so pretty…” he hummed, his knuckles now shiny with your arousal.

Your toes curled the more he pumped you, his fingers working fast. You roughly grabbed his wrist, stopping his movement. He looked up at you, a single brow cocked.

“Something wrong?” his voice was smooth, eyes soft as they watched you with adoration.

“T-that’s not what I need…” You murmured, breathing in and out as if you’d pass out.

“Tell me, what do you-“

“Cock. Yours.” You demanded. Kakashis eyes grew wide, a sinister grin plastered in his face. He retracted his fingers from your cunt, a silent moan escaped your lips when he moved.

“I never thought I’d have you so needy, sweet girl.” Kakashis hand traveled to his waistbands and pulled them down, hard cock slapped against his body con shirt, precum making his tip glisten.

“I can’t help it.” You admitted, your eyes breaking away from his to stare at his erection. Your legs spread wide, and you wriggled excitedly.

Kakashi ducked down to kiss you, cupping your cheeks as he rutted against you, his length rubbing up and down against your clit. You moaned into the kiss, a smile on your face as your pleasure spread. You wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck, getting even closer as you two enjoyed eachothers embrace.

Kakashis tongue made its appearance in your mouth again, the soft tip of his tongue swirling with yours, just to retreat and wetten your lower lip.

“Don’t tease me…” you whispered, breaking the kiss only to resume it quickly. He laughed gently, his hand moving south to grab the base of his cock and align it with your entrance.

“Well, aren’t you one to talk?” With one swift motion he went balls deep inside of you again, a shiver running up his back as he bottomed out, his public bone flush with your clit.

You both grunted, then began to lock lips as his hips drilled into you. You both knew you didn’t want to waste any time, each time he bottomed out you grounded down on him further, feeling his warm precum coat your walls as your own arousal spilled out and onto the sheets.

“Always wet for me…” he smiled, kissing down your jaw.

His cock was heavy, stretching you perfectly and throbbing each time it hit that tender spot inside of you that made you digs crescents into his back with your nails. He loved watching your lashes flutter when your eyes rolled back, and he devoured your lips whenever they opened to produce a guttural moan.

“I love you…” Kakashi cooed, a finger of his now playing with your clit.

“Love you- haaah- too…” you replied with a whine between words.

Kakashi pulls your shirt off of you, then quickly grabs both your wrists in one hand. He pins you down, and you’re unable to move. He retracts his hand from your clit and presses his forearm under your tits, pushing them up and drooling at how pretty they sit. He ducks down and sucks a nipple, his soft tongue spreading hot spit over your sensitive tits. He moans, cock throbbing as you pulse around him.

He looks up at you, your face red and forehead slightly sweaty. Fuck, you look so sexy. He groans your name, biting your tit, sucking a hickey into the soft flesh in his mouth. You’re seeing stars, vision blurry as your orgasm comes washing over you. You’re whimpering his name, shaking and yet unable to move under his massive presence. He lets go of your tit in his mouth and watched over you. You were his own personal porn star, cumming for him- cumming on him. Whimpering his name as you choke his girthy cock and take him while he resizes your cunt.

“Filthy… you’re making such a mess.” His pace was quicker now, your cries of pleasure louder as he beats your pussy into the mattress. “Bad girl…” he hums low, almost a growl.

You can’t fight back the violent euphoria, your poor cunt wants more of him, regardless as to whether or not you can take it.

“S’ good…” you mewl, erotic and soft squelches filling your ears as he continues to stuff you with his member, his own orgasm on its precipice.

“You really are a slut of this cock, huh?” he teased, thrusting hard, keeping his dick stuffed deep inside you as he pressed his pelvis against your clit. His nails dig into your wrists, your fingers try to grab onto him but you just can’t reach.

“No more playing games,” he grunts, a hand letting go of your wrists to wrap around your throat firmly. You gasp, your air running thin. “You want me?” His hips retreat, then slam harsh inside of you. You wince, eyes snapping shut when you moan.

“Tsk tsk, look at me.” you follow his order, your brows knitted tightly together, looking up at him through your lashes. His teeth glimmer as he grins mischievously, his grip on your neck tightening. “Nah, you need me.”

You feel like you’re about to pass out again, legs shaking viciously and you felt light headed.

“My body always misses this pussy… fucking made for me.” He nips at your jaw, railing you at the one pace he knows you and he both like it. “Mine.”

He wants to mark you up, leave you purple for everyone to see. So when he notices how hard it is for you to breathe he lets go, and takes delight in how you choke for air. He sucks deeply at your neck, throbbing inside you when he imagines how it’ll look after.

“M’gonna cum again…” you almost plead, hips tilting up to meet his own, welcoming his gorgeous cock back inside of you where you knew it belonged.

“I bet you want me to cum inside you,” he mutters, letting go on your sensitive skin before he sucks another purple bruise into your neck.

“Please.” Is all you manage, your slick now running down your ass.

“Always a slut for my cum…” He bites your shoulder, his tongue licking at the red skin underneath. “Can’t fuck you once without you begging for a creampie.”

You cum for a second time, begging for his hot cum to fill you up and pour out. Kakashi complies, a few more rough thrusts and he’s pumping you full of his burning seed, you feel impossibly full as you throw your head back. Kakashi moans heavily, still pumping you with his cock, loving the way you squirt on him with your own spend.

“You can play with yourself thinking about this tonight,” he says low, kissing you hard while he continues to shoot ropes into you. You twitch, legs spasming as your orgasm refuses to subside.

“N-no. I wanna be with you tonight! I wanna do it again!” You beg, wrapping your legs even tighter around him. His eyes widen and he licks your neck playfully.

“My sweet girl, if I bring you home with me tonight I won’t stop until the sun comes up.”

“I’m prepared to lose a few hours of sleep if it means I can spend them being your whore.” You respond shamelessly. He lets go of your wrist and you grab the back of his head, fully making out with him as you play with his silver mess. “I love you. I don’t care anymore.”

Kakashi hums in delight, pulling out of you, your shared cum sticking to his own thighs now.

“You mean you’re all mine?” He knew the answer.

“Mmhmm… And I’m sorry about the way I was acting before…” You admitted, hands running in his hair.

Kakashi rested his face against your tits, his arms wrapped around your waist.

“What do you mean? I should be sorry. I shouldn’t have been such a scummy person to make you choose me or your career, especially when I knew how much you love it.” His voice was soft and somber, you kissed the crown on his head.

“We both messed up, yeah?” You slightly giggled.

“Yeah,” he laughed back. “If you’re sure about going into this war with me I want you to know something.” He picked his head up, towering over you again. His palm rested against your cheek as his eyes looked deep into yours.

“I don’t care who we’re facing or what we’re up against. I don’t care who’s getting hurt but I do know one thing,” His brows furrowed. “I’m not leaving your side once. I’ll cover you, I’ll fight for you, I swear I’ll kill for you- I already have and I will again if I have to.”

He softly kissed the tip of your nose.

“That goes for me too,” you sighed, one of your hands caressed his shoulder. He grabbed that hand and kissed the back of it, then pulled you off the bed.

You two got dressed, although you chose to change into a turtle neck, and went downstairs. The restaurant was more packed and there was chatter all around, the nerves you may have been heard upstairs disappearing completely.

Percy turned around when Kakashi approached the seat next to him and reclaimed his seat. You walked around the counter and began to wipe it down. Your father came out from behind the curtain that led to the kitchen.

“Here’s that sandwich,” Your dad said, handing your boyfriend the plated food. “Enjoy, son.”

“Son?” Kakashi asked, taking a look around to see if people were watching him. When the coast was clear he quickly lowered his mask for a bite, then put it back on.

Nobody could see the smile underneath he had while he chewed, but you noticed the crinkle underneath his eyes.

“Not bad,” Percy said, polishing off his meal. “What’d you think, Kakashi?”

“Yeah,” he looked up from his plate, watching as you walked around the restaurant, taking orders and handing out drinks. “It was good.” It tasted like home.

A/N: after a much needed break/hiatus i’m finally back RAAAAHHHHH !!!!!!! for everyone asking if i plan on continuing the mafia AU yes i do but i feel like it’ll be a small mini series.

[lixies-favorite-cookie]

hang the moon ◦ l.f

-going through the ages of time with felix, from when you told him you were pregnant to seeing him braid your baby's hair.

@feelikecinderella I hope you like it it isn't something I usually write, but I adored writing it so thank you so so much for the request ♡

Paring ◦ Dad!Lee Felix x Pregnant!Reader

Words ◦ 4,506(this was originally supposed to be 1,000 words 💀)

Genre ◦ Fluff, Dad!Lixie headcanons, MY FIRST REQUEST MWAHAHA.

Warnings ◦ Felix being the sweetest man in the whole world, super unrealistic ngl, descriptions about pain, crying, reader being kinda moody, sexual content but its literally like two lines and it just says that you give him head and him giving you an orgasm no details at all, felix being hot asf, felix being a model father, a few big bad fuck words, I'm 19 i dont know how pregnancy works so bear with me babes💀, I know their has to be at LEAST 12 spelling errors, not edited (forgive me I have no time) uhhh nothing else I don't think

A/N ◦ I love this so much it was so cute and I stand by the fact if my husband isn't like this with kids I'm not having one (also is anybody else traumatized by their present absent dads my dad was always in my life and I love him to death great father terrible husband never did anything to help my mom out which makes me really scared to have kids can anyone relate?) I just want to apologize in advance for my rambling tendency please forgive me 🙏 Also this isn't in actual bullet point because Tumblr is stupid.

~cookiecreates 🍪

Mommy-to-be!Reader who gets that feeling all mothers get when another body is currently being knitted together inside them. The month you missed your period also helped with the suspicion, but the three pregnancy tests with two thick pink lines screaming at you really confirm your hypotheses that you are indeed pregnant, and it is 100% Felixes.

Mommy-to-be!Reader who is first overwhelmed by all the thoughts that have gathered in your head—the preparations, the options—if you want to keep the baby or not, what are you going to do if he doesn't want to? Oh no, you didn't think about what you would do if he didn't want to keep the baby. How would he react? Your overwhelm quickly changed to an anxiety that bubbled in your stomach when you thought of all the possible outcomes of what could happen to your relationship because of one simple accident. No matter how secure your relationship with Felix is, it's terrifying to think that he might leave, seeing his dreams of being an idol as more important than being a dad.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who was just sitting on the couch fiddling with his computer, when you walk in with your tear-stained face and trembling hands, he immediately goes to comfort mode. "What is it, darling whats w-" he stops in his tracks, seeing the test in your hands and definitely seeing the thick pink lines that tell him you're pregnant...

Daddy-to-be!Felix whose immediate reaction is to gather you up in his arms and twirl you around in the air, overwhelmed by a feeling of unadulterated joy. His whole face is lit up like a Christmas tree, really making his sunshine title shine through.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who can’t really believe it, “Your pregnant.” “Apparently” “Oh my gosh, we're pregnant.” “I don't think that's how that works.” You chuckle, still in mild denial. “Oh yeah, it is part of my DNA is currently inside of you.” He stops, really letting it sink in. “Holy shit, we're going to have a baby! You don't think either of you has ever smiled so big in your lives. 

Daddy-to-be!Felix who goes and tells the group the next day, too ecstatic to keep it to himself.

Uncle-to-be!Group who congratulates the hell out you and Felix, promising to take care of the baby any time you two need a babysitter. Cue spontaneous gift-giving as well; one day you find a stroller on your front porch from Chan, a box of baby clothes from Han, and a diaper bag from Minho, all on the same day.

Uncle-to-be!Chan who promises to spoil the hell out of your little sunshine, letting Felix rant about all his fantasies, how he's going to be the best dad, how you're going to be a wonderful mom, how he's going to buy her the cutest clothes, and how- Chan loves Felix, but he stopped listening after the 25th compliment about how wonderful you are doing with your pregnancy.

Mommy-to-be!Reader who figures out that Han's girlfriend, your best friend, is also pregnant, so you won't have to deal with your pregnancy alone, while Felix is understanding and supportive; he is a guy after all, and some things like how your boobs hurt and are oddly getting bigger, he just won't understand, and that's okay because at least you have a friend who you can rant about your boobies too.

Mommy-to-be!Reader who promises not to tell anyone about Han's girlfriend's pregnancy. Due to her request, she and Han have already agreed that they are planning a very big event to tell the boys, and she doesn't want it to be spoiled because of your loose lips.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who's so gentle with you, even during the days when your bump is so little, it's almost nonexistent, always asking if you're okay or if you need some food, water, or if the baby is okay? Is she hungry? Maybe thirsty? You have to remind him that the baby is nothing more than a gathering of cells right now and can't partially talk.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who guarantees that your baby is a girl and no amount of convincing can persuade him he's definitely projecting.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who would refuse to let you get up from nuzzling his face in your practically flat stomach. "Felix, I have to pee." "Do you want me to carry you to the bathroom?" He looks up from your tummy with big boba eyes. You deadpan. "Yeah, okay, you're right. You've got this." Basically, giving you little praise hand emojis🙌, even though his worried eyes stare you down all the way to the bathroom. 

Daddy-to-be!Felix who sends 'how are my girls doing' texts every day at practice, "You know, you don't actually know if it's a girl or not." "I have a feeling."

Daddy-to-be!Felix who treasures you even as you sob into his chest about your nightmares from the Euphoria TikToks you've watched about parents whose relationships crumbled because of having a baby, he dusts kisses over your face, whispering promise after promise on your skin that no matter what relationship won't crumble, this baby is going to make your relationship stronger, closer, better. He loves you too much, just like how he would love you if you were a worm and how he would kiss the prettiest person in the room with the choice between you or the prettiest person in the room because the prettiest person in the room is you (all true conversations you've had in between sobbing sessions).

Daddy-to-be!Felix who deals with all your shit with a smile on his face because he understands how hard it is to carry a fuckabigillion pound baby in your belly, so if you feel like yelling at him because he's home late, then crying in his arms because you regret yelling at him, begging him for forgiveness, he'll do both gladly. Not the forgiveness part; he doesn't forgive you because you didn't need it; he was never mad at you in the first place.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who starts getting concerned when your belly starts getting bigger at a faster rate than the average rate of time that one's belly gets bigger.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who shuts down every accusation that he's been doing research on your pregnancy and that he just happened to know the statistics about rates in which baby bumps grow (what can you say, he's a smart guy🤷)

Daddy-to-be!Felix who makes you promise to tell him all the days that your ultrasounds are on so he can make sure everything with you and his little princess is okay, especially since your bump is getting so big so fast, which he just happened to know and definitely did not do research about.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who gives you the best princess treatment all the time without fail. You don't like your nails; the money is on the counter for a new pair. You want to go shopping for maternity clothes because your jeans are starting to get too tight; he's at the door with his card and a big smile on his face, practically skipping out the door to give you the best day of your life. You want him to hold your bags as you walk around the mall, spending his money on anything you think looks even remotely cute; he'll do it with a sparkle in his eye. Your feet hurt from walking all day with this watermelon-sized child in your stomach; he'll lean down on his knees and stay there, rubbing your feet for hours. No matter what, even if he's exhausted from practice, his girls come first. Which ties into...

Daddy-to-be!Felix who demands time off. Demands it or he's done, leaving the team. (He's not actually going to, but he needs to let the company know he's not going to take their shit). His girls always come first. Reluctantly, they agree that he can take a 4-week break while you are pregnant and a 6-month leave after the baby comes. He glares at them before realizing that that's a pretty good chunk of time, but he's relentless, folding his arms in front of his chest, "and I get to leave whenever they need me." "I don't know about that." Daddy Bear mode activated. The woman trembles, looking at him. "Okay," she mutters reluctantly. Back into teddy bear mode. "Thank you so much. I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day." He turns and walks away like he didn't just make this lady shit her pants. (i highly doubt this is actually how this works but idrc this is called a fanFICTION for a reason )

Daddy-to-be!Felix who doesn't mind one bit doing the dishes and sweeping the floor as long as he sees you safe and sound in your bed, snoring away with your legs stuffed between a fluffy pillow.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who went with you to one of your ultrasounds, and ended up with only 10 minutes to get ready before a photoshoot. He had never felt so many glares in one room. Newsflash: It was worth it, even though they had to rearrange the whole schedule just for him. Han sent him a smile, knowing exactly how he felt.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who gets the worst cuteness aggression as you waddle around.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who just holds you when you burst into tears, feeling so useless as you cry from the pain, not knowing what to do when you start balling because the weight of holding a baby beginning to be too much to bear, so he just holds you, not being able to keep the tears that swarm his vision at bay, especially when he holds your bump, feeling how heavy it is just for him; he couldn't even imagine how heavy it is to carry that around inside of you.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who calls his mom right after just to thank her for going through all the shit of baring a child because he sees how hard it is for you and literally can't believe women all around the world have been going through that for all of time, it genuinely baffles him, he trips out about it for a hot minute.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who takes it up as his personal mission to make you feel like the prettiest woman on the planet when you're with him, especially since he can tell you feel insecure with all the changes your body is making. He sees them, notices them, he doesn't mind them at all, what he minds is how much they are hurting you and he just can't have that. Let's just say the amount of kisses and orgasms he has given you in the past 6 hours makes you feel like the hottest bitch in the world for about 4 weeks after.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who convinces you not to do a gender reveal because he wants it to be a surprise, you are hesitant because you don't like not knowing which gender to buy certain clothes, but you know you currently have a closet full of both baby boy and baby girl clothes because of ✨princess treatment ✨and with a black card and pregnancy hormones, all the clothes at the mall looked cute. What can you say? You're just a girl. 🤷

Daddy-to-be!Felix whose biggest fear is that he's going to be away when you have the baby, and he's not going to be able to comfort you through the most memorable and painful time of your life. It quite literally brings tears to his eyes. You comfort him, telling him that it's okay even if he isn't there. You know he loves you, and you wouldn't mind, but he reminds you constantly, "I don't care if it's in the middle of a concert, a fansign, a meeting that determines my whole entire future; your water breaks, I run."

Daddy-to-be!Felix who is so relieved that your water breaks in the middle of the night when he's home, where you can screech as loud as you can to attempt to get his attention. 

Daddy-to-be!Felix who jumped up from bed so quick, grabbing you and leading you down the stairs, racked with guilt that he couldn't pick you up because A) he literally can't, and B) he's too terrified, he'll fall and hurt you.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who if all the anxiety he has ever experienced in his entire life could be multiplied and put in his body, it would still be so minuscule compared to the way he's freaking the FUCK out right now, but he still tries to calm himself down, and be sober-minded for you.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who when you get to the hospital, they have got him FUCKED UP to think he's ever leaving you. Holding your hand through it all, a part of him has to be on you the entire time. It doesn't matter if he doesn't sleep; he's an idol. Not sleeping is what he does.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who falls in love with you all over again, seeing you push through all the pain—admiring your strength and dedication— he loves you so much and makes sure you know, even in some of the most inconvenient times.  “Big push,” the nurse calls out from under you. “I love you so much, baby, so fucking much, holy shit.” He kisses your hand. “Shut up, Felix, please.” You scream, your body vibrating with pain. “Yes ma'am, shutting up right now.”

 Daddy-to-be!Felix who praises you constantly, “You're doing so well, baby.” "Keep pushing; do you see that, you're almost done?” "I'm so fuckin' proud of you, darling." "The only reason I'm going to see my beautiful baby is because of you. Do you know how much I admire you? I literally can't find the words." “SHUT UP.”

 Daddy-to-be!Felix who lets you hold onto him while you go through all the contractions, digging your nails into his skin, drawing blood, "Ow baby," "sorry," "it's okay, I understand." You obviously are not very sorry, cause two seconds later you're digging deeper into his wounds.

Dad!Felix who is just as ecstatic about them telling him it's a boy as he would be if they were telling him it was a girl, he just has to change his dreams about brushing his little girl's hair to teaching his little boy how to tie a tie (which he is very bad at, but for him, he will attempt to learn).

Dad!Felix who never knew that you could love somebody so deeply without ever even knowing them, but when he holds your little ball of sunshine in his arms and feels their heartbeats intertwining, it all seems so much more real. He has your eyes. His nose, your hands, his toes—he sees bits and pieces of the two of you in every breath he takes. He has just met your baby, and yet he immediately feels like he would burn the whole world down for him.

Dad!Felix who panics when you suddenly start having even more contractions.

Dad!Felix who breaks down in tears when they hand him your second baby, a little girl, whose freckles dust across her cheeks just like his. If he thought he was feeling happy before knowing he gets to experience the best of both worlds at the same time, makes his already bursting heart about 10 times its size. 

Dad!Felix who is sobbing happy tears, a smile plastered on his face as he cuts the umbilical cords off of both his little balls of sunshine, never thinking he would be so excited to do something in his life. 

Dad!Felix who at this point is so surprised that he hasn't had a heart attack with the amount of scares he has gotten in the past 12 hours, especially when his heart jumps out of his chest, as the doctor informs the both of you that you need to be stitched up from where you tore, you are mostly confused because you didn't know you tore. It must have blended in with the excruciating pain that was firing from all areas of your body. "What does that mean? Is she okay? Is she going to die? Is she-"

Dad!Felix who is literally going to pass out because he actually thinks you're going to die.

Dad!Felix who feels real fuckin stupid when the nurses just chuckle and tell him you're not going to die, your vagina ripped while giving birth, that it happens quite often; they just need to sew you up.

Dad!Felix who watches them like a hawk as they sew you up, making sure that they aren’t messing anything up.

Dad!Felix who literally refuses to let you do anything for at least 3 months after your birth, researching the hell out of what can ease your pain, forcing you into bed rest while he takes care of the kids, giving you massages for your aching muscles, pouring you warm baths with rose petals when your stitching hurts or itches, he's so kind and attentive, hating seeing you in pain.

Dad!Felix who is so eager to do anything; getting up when the babies are crying, changing diapers, giving bottles, singing the babies to sleep…

Dad!Felix who loves to sing the babies with his deep calming voice, knowing it puts them to sleep instantly. 

Dad!Felix who loves to eat you out when he finally puts the twins to bed about just as much, noticed the way you were looking at him as he was singing in that deep, sexy voice. 

Dad!Felix who goes right back to the kids 30 minutes later when your moans wake them up.  

Dad!Felix who just can't get over how awesome it is to see how different your babies are, not just in gender but in personality as well.

Dad!Felix who literally despises having the babies cry, does anything he can to stop it, not because it's annoying him, but because it hurts him to know his little angels are sad.

Dad!Felix who will cook dinner with both babies held carefully in his arms—something that seems atomically impossible, but he figures it out.

Dad!Felix who sees the guilt bubbling up on your face, rushing it away with gentle kisses and soft reassurances, ushering you away with a smile. “I know you're tired and hurting. Go take a nap, love, and I'll wake you up when dinner is done.”

Mom!Reader who wakes up from her nap, sees the house cleaned, the dishes done, the babies fed, and put to bed with a steaming meal in front of you, you are more than happy to suck him to the heavens after. Hey, everything's 50/50, right? 

Mom!Reader who begs Felix to get the babies because she can hear them crying through the baby monitor.

Dad!Felix who does it without a second thought. Never once complaining about how you guys could count the amount of sleep you have gotten combined on just one of your hands, he understood the twins were ornery—having a bad case of colic—so to calm them down, he sings to them just like he always does.

Mom!Reader who panics hearing such a deep voice over the baby monitor. In a fit of half-asleep—panic-induced—sleep deprivation run into the baby's room, ready to kill somebody if needed, but your heart melts instead when you meet Felix holding your sniffling twins, rocking them carefully in his arms. Tears pool in your eyes seeing the way his face glew with pure love; even though he looked exhausted, even though there were deep bags under his eyes and spit up on his shirt, no matter how hard life was, at least you know that with Felix, you’d never regret it, not even for a minute.

Dad!Felix who looks up, surprised to see you in the doorway. "Hi baby," he whispers. "Go back to bed, darling. I've got this." You look at him like he hung the moon, and for you, he would. 

Dad!Felix who is the most patient father any child could ever ask for. (I will never get over this. Definitely the type of dad who would help clean up the milk and not just yell because it was spilled)

Dad!Felix who would rather die than yell at his kids, is definitely the gentlest parent known to man.

Dad!Felix who dresses your angels like the next Louis Vuitton ambassadors, "Really, Felix, our four-month-old babies do not need a Louis blazer and jumpsuit." "Who says?” he shrugs. “Um, me, because they're 4 months old.” You enunciate every syllable as though you were talking to one of the babies in question. “Do they even sell this in stores?" “Um, no, I had it custom-made, duh." "Oh my gosh," you facepalm, not before facepalming a little harder, pulling out a Louis pair of sunglasses and a Louis purse just small enough to fit tiny hands. ”You bought the baby a Louis purse?" "Of course, my princess can be without a bag. Look deeper; there's something for mommy in there too.” You pull out a Louis Vuitton diaper bag. 🤦

Dad!Felix who has never really liked confrontation, but when a paparazzi accidentally bumped into you holding the twins because he was trying to take pictures of the group; he almost killed him, saw red, got so close to using those Taekwondo skills he spent years practicing. The team was the only reason he didn't rip someone's head off. Bangchan's glare would have been enough, but yours, his, and the whole group were enough for the man's face to go red and curl into himself, definitely regretting all of his life choices.

Dad!Felix who's the type of father who wants to protect his little angels from the world, is literally willing to glue pillows to all areas of the house so that they will never get hurt. You stare at him blankly, wondering if he's serious.

He is.

Dad!Felix who gets genuinely disappointed that you obviously oppose, so instead he baby-proofs the ever-loving shit out of the house, sharp objects gone, all corners covered, outlets concealed.

Dad!Felix who if anyone were to talk about his family online, would not be silent, would go into a fit of rage, aggressively typing on his phone, getting ready to post a long paragraph on his story that you or his team would have to keep him from sending because, you know, his job or whatever, speaking of job…

Dad!Felix who knows he has to leave for work eventually, and his 6-month hiatus from the group was not permanent. A lot of tears are shed as he holds you and your beautiful babies, knowing he isn’t going to be able to see them for a whole 3 months while they start their tour. He can't bear thinking that he might miss such pivotal moments as the first rollover, the first steps, the first word. He can see his little munchkins' lives flashing right before his eyes as he looks at the packed suitcase in the corner. “Felix, we are going to be fine, I promise." “Are you sure?? I can leave the group; I would leave them for you; I promise I would; you just say the word and I'm gone; we can buy a house in the suburbs-” You giggle, overwhelmed with admiration for his dedication to your family, “Don't be silly, Lix. I know you love your job and your team, plus we wouldn't be able to afford a house without you working." He sighs, knowing you are right. “Fine,” he mutters, holding you all close. “Just promise to call me every single day, okay?”

Dad!Felix who gets up early enough in the morning to feed the kids and get them dressed, trying to spend as much quality time with them as possible before he has to leave. 

Mom!Reader who, being the mom you are, still freaks out when you wake up, scared Felix is going to miss his plane. While you're putting your son's shoes on, you run into the room and say, “Come on, lix-” You stop dead in your tracks, seeing him beaming while brushing your little girl's hair, humming a sweet melody as the paddle goes smoothly through her locks. She looks up at him like he hung the moon, and for her, he would. Your bad mood dissipates as you remember why you got into any of this in the first place. Everything is going to be fine. You're going to be fine. Felix looks up, feeling your presence. He smiles wider. "Do you like it, momma?" He asks, clearly proud of his work. She smiles toothless and full of glee. You take her in your arms, spinning her around. "Well, of course, I like it. Did Daddy do this for you, baby?" She spits out gobbly gook, which you nod your head at, acting like she just recited pie.

Dad!Felix who brushes the little girl's hair every day before work without fail, even looks up tutorials on YouTube about different strategic hairstyles. He's terrible at them. Doesn't stop your heart from melting into a puddle on the floor while he's attempting French braids, though.

Dad!Felix who proposes to you a few years later, so he can have your two beautiful babies standing beside him as he proposes: his little princess in a cute white dress holding a bouquet of picked flowers, and your little prince in an adorable little tux holding a heart of chocolates. Everything is just so perfect, you'd be a certified idiot not to say yes (not that you were ever considering it).

Husband!Felix who when you finally get married, agrees that your baby boy is going to be the one who walks you down the aisle with your little girl being his best wo'man', right beside Hyunjin and all his other members, of course.

Extra for the ones who endured my rambling 

Mom!Reader+Hans girlfriend who had a baby boy the same day that you had your little girl. When you found out the good news, you immediately started planning for the wedding, knowing this couldn't be anything other than fate, already thinking about ship names and wedding dresses.

Dad!Felix+Han who glare at the two, Felix not liking the idea of his perfect princess being anywhere near the male species, Han not liking the idea of his girlfriend cuddling with someone that isn't him. But eventually, Felix eases on his glare, his heart melting as you giggle about the color of the bouquet.

Last but not least

Husband!Felix who will always love the way his family looks at him, like he hung the moon because, for them, he would.

©CookieCreates (posted: June, 19th 2024) All rights reserved. Do not translate, copy, or claim my works as yours! I only post on this platform so if any of my works are elsewhere, report and notify me immediately.

~ I'm probably going to redo this one day so if you have anything you would like to add/change please let me know :))

COOKIE OUT

[iznyangwoni]

EASY TO LOVE | chapter nine !

The whole time in class you couldn’t concentrate, your head hurting just from the stress. Why would Minji even want Jungwon to know what happened to you? Okay yes sure, you did act like a bitch towards her but you do that with everyone!

Your keep moving your leg nervously, waiting for the class to end so that you can finally say a couple of words to that witch. Its honestly fucking with your head, this whole thing was long gone, why bring it up now? You take a deep breath, not really wanting to panic in a class full of people who know you as this unbeatable being.

The class finally ends, you pick your things up and exit without saying a thing to either Moka or Wonyoung, which both look quite concerned for you. Your heels somehow make you walk even faster, the anger and anxiety in you just want this to be over quickly.

You finally reach the class Jungwon told you about and, without even knocking, you get in. There’s a few people in the room, which all turn to look at you, you run a hand through your hair, your heels clacking even more on the wooden floor. “I need to talk to her. Get out.”

You say to the couple more people next to her, the scoff, but still leave the room, now its only you and the girl in here. She’s a bit taller than you, but you dont let that intimidate you. “Why’s that? I thought you didnt talk with people with a bag two seasons behind.”

You click your tongue, finding her sassiness quite annoying. You take another step towards her. “When did i say you could talk?” you ask, voice cold, you’ve never looked at someone with so much hatred in your eyes. well, except maybe last year.

She stays silent, so you keep talking, taking another step towards her. “Listen. I don’t care what that little head of yours is thinking, but whatever it is, if you let out that secret you’re dead, Minji.” “Oh so now you’re threatening me?” She lets out a sarcastic laugh, pushing you slightly away from her.

“Yes, yes i am threatening you. Do you want your dad to keep his job? Then you better keep your pretty mouth shut.” She pushes you once more, not wanting to be so close to you. “You wouldn’t dare.” “Oh, you’d be surprised.” You don’t care about her pushes, taking another step towards her. She speaks once more.

“You better get away from Jungwon. I have that video y/n, you know damn well it could ruin your life.” Is she really doing this because of a damb boy? This is the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard. “Not if i ruin yours first.” And thats it, she pushes you once more, and at the same time the door of the classroom opens, Jungwon behind it.

You could honestly get your balance back in no time, but you decide to fall instead. A whine getting out of your mouth as you massage your ankle, as if you hurt it, when you obviously didnt. “Y/n? You okay?” Jungwon rushes to your side, getting on his knees next to you, giving a glance to Minji.

“What the heck, Minji? I really thought you were better than this.” You watch the scene with fake tears in your eyes, you hand still holding your ankle meanwhile Jungwon puts his arm around your shoulders. “Won, I-“ “Just get out.” “You’re really believing her?” “I’m believing my own eyes, Minji! Now get out!” And so she does, slamming the door closed.

“Are you hurt?” Jungwon asks, looking at you with so much more sweetness in his eyes than just a few seconds ago. “I think my ankle took a bad turn.” He sighs and starts taking off your heels gently. You made up this whole situation, but to be fair he’s being so sweet it actually just made your heart beat faster for a single second.

“Why do you even wear these to school? You might actually break you ankle one of these days.” He says, taking them completely off before picking you up, you bite your inner cheek, fuck this is too sweet of him. “Let’s go to the nursery, mh?” “Yeah… lets do that.”

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[tsukasalvr]

Idk if your requests are open or not AAHH! But if they are:

(Possible TW in my request for mentions of depression, anxiety, commiting di3 joke)

Could you do a reader with bad depression and anixety. And maybe one day reader makes a joke about 0ffing themself and then they dont show up to school for a few days

Characters I would prefer(from TBHK): Kou, Teru, Hanako, Akane(boy)

You can add more if you like! :)

Im sorry its not very specific, this is my first time requesting something

Also sorry i know topics like these are difficult for some people <3

depressed!reader who makes su*cidal jokes

Anime/fandom: Tbhk

Characters: Kou Minamoto, Teru Minamoto, Hanako, Akane Aoi

Warnings: I don’t proofread, depressed reader, mention of suicide

A/n: just got broken up w by my pookie wookie☹️💔

Tbhk masterlist | Main masterlist

Kou Minamoto

Is immediately put off by what you’re saying and is immediately concerned, and gets even more concerned once you get together and just stares nervously at you while stuttering, not knowing what to say

“That’s so embarrassing, if that were me I would kill myself no doubt! Being so stupid like that, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself!” You casually said while looking at a post on your phone.

“O-oh… umm…” Kou is at a loss for words sometimes and tries to brush it off by moving onto something happier to distract you from thoughts like those

When you make a joke that’s one day too far he genuinely seems so much more concerned and ask if you’re okay. He gets so worried about you that it’s best not to make jokes like that near him.

If you don’t show up the next day, he gets worried and is immediately trying to leave school early even though he knows Teru will berate him later for it, he needs to see you’re okay and when he arrives to your house and sees you are, he’s very serious about not making jokes like those again and is invites you to his house more often to distract yourself and is willing to help you get help

Teru Minamoto

Gives you a nervous smile when you joke about suicide and even when you you’re dating he still gives you an obvious fake smile to not hurt your feelings. He knows that outright saying that if you need someone talk to talk to can be annoying sometimes so he’ll try to subtly let you know he’s there

Whether it’s from talking about a topic of a documentary of a tragic life of some celebrity and all they needed help to having Kou telk you that you’re part of the family and that you can tell them anything when you’re over at their house

“I can’t stop messing this up! God I really should’ve taken those pills when I had the chance, what the hell!” You said angrily at the fact you couldn’t get the string through the small hole in the needle.

Teru could only smile at you, he never says anything to your ‘jokes’, but then he stops and just goes to frowning hoping that you’re not being serious

When you don’t show up the next day, he’s not super worried and just assumes you’re late but sends you messages. But after a few hours the messages become more frequent and by the end of the school day he’s running to your house scared. When he sees you’re alright, he’s pissed and says enough is enough and he’s not taking anymore jokes and is instead going to help you

Hanako

He might laugh at your jokes, but it’s only so he doesn’t worry you. He’s not an unfamiliar when it comes to stuff like this and he knows you might now want to talk about it right away so he’s fine with trying to take it slow

On the inside though, his ghostly heart is scared that you’re it joking and you’re actually being serious. He can’t bear the thought of you dying—and especially dying this way so he keeps a close eye on you and has Kou and Yashiro even make sure that you’re doing okay

“God, I’m so stupid and useless” you say with a laugh as you look at your test result and shove the paper back in your bag

Hanako stares at you, and lets out a laugh that’s believe enough. He’s conflicted on what he should do, should he ask how you’re doing? What if you lie to him? Would you even want to talk to him?

It seems as if his worries have come true when you didn’t show up to school the next day and asks if Yashiro or Kou have seen you at all and to message you on those weird electronic things. Yashiro only agrees to go to your house when Hanako asked because she too was worried about you. Hanako waits impatiently the next day and sees you and you tell him you were just feeling sick. If he could, then Hanako would definitely cry and basically forces you to promise to tell him if anything is wrong with a scared and worried expression on his face

Akane Aoi

You’re the most precious person in his life so he takes everything very serious when it comes to you. A paper cut? He’s getting ready to call an ambulance for you and is frantically asking you if you’re okay.

So joking about such topics near him immediately alarms him and hea on full protective mode with asking if you’re joking or not. He takes everything you say seriously, he cares about you a lot so to see you laugh about it, hurts him a little

“What if I jump out this window right now? I really do want to do this test!” You whined and looked over at the window that was right next to where you were sitting.

Akane had a prominent frown on his face, he knew you weren’t exactly mentally okay and you’re jokes were becoming more and more frequent

He’s on full panic mode when you don’t show up to school the next day and the worst possible outcomes are immediately coming to mind. He hopes he’s wrong and is blowing up your phone and is willing to mess up his perfect attendance streak for you, he’ll fix it later. But when he sees you overslept and your phone died because wig wasn’t charged, he’s disappointed. He knew it was getting worse if you dying was what came to mind when you didn’t show up so he pledges to help you

[i4kitty]

since quacks birthday is tomorrow, can you do a birthday special? like a part 2 of that virgin!quackity one shot you posted

two posts in a day!!

continuation of this —> ♡ post! you guys really like that one a lot, its the most liked post on my blog. thank you bunches !!

alex helps you to your feet, his eyes still glossed over with a mix of shock and pleasure. you smile up at him, eyes gleaming with satisfaction. you took his hand and lead him to your bedroom, your confidence as palpable as the heat radiating from your body. your bed is neatly made, but the anticipation in the air suggests it won't stay that way for long.

"you don't have to be nervous," you say, voice a soothing balm to his frazzled nerves. you pulled him closer, pressing your body against his. he felt your breasts against his chest, your heart beating fast with excitement. you reach up and kiss him as you remove his shirt. alex's anxiety slowly dissolves as he gives in to the sensations. he's never felt this way before, never been this close to someone he cares about so deeply.

you guide his hands to your skirt, urging him to slip it off. he fumbles a little, his hands shaking, but youre patient. when the fabric falls to the ground you step out of it. hes the center of your attention, the object of your desire, and that makes him feel special, wanted. you pull your top over your head with alexs assistance. youre more beautiful than any painting hes ever seen, your body is a canvas of curves and dips that make his head spin.

you smile and pull him closer to unzip his pants, letting them drop to the floor. you take alexs cock into your hand to stroke it to full hardness. he bites his lip as he watches you jerk him off. he cant believe how good it feels, how right it feels. hes never felt so connected and vulnerable due to another person.

you observe his face. you can tell how tense he is. before he cums you release his erect cock from your grip. you lead him to the bed and gently push him back onto it. you give him a show, seductively stripping yourself of your panties and bra. you climb onto the bed and straddle him, your wet pussy pressing against his tip. “are you ready?” you ask. alex nods, unable to form words.

you slowly lower yourself onto him until hes completely buried inside of you. you throw your head back and moan. alexs eyes widen in amazement as he feels your warm tight walls around him. you start to rock back and forth. setting a rhythm that burns into their very being.

your nails dig into his broad shoulders as you bite down on your lips. you’ve never felt so full. with each movement you bring alex closer and closer to the edge. for him the sensation is overwhelming and he knows he wont last much longer. not knowing what to do with his hands, he reaches up and grabs your breast, kneading them gently.

alexs breaths come in short, sharp gasps as he starts to speak. “y/n,” he whispers, “you feel too good. i cant believe this is happening. i love you so much.” the confession spill out of him in a rush. hes never been this open with anyone in a long time. you make him feel safe and loved.

you hold his face in your hands and bless him with a kiss, hips never stopping their steady rolling motion. alexs hands roam all over your body as if he was worshipping you. hes in awe. the way you move, the sounds you make, the way you look at him.

“holy fucking shit..” he gasps. the feeling of your pussy suddenly tightening around him is too much. he feels his orgasm starting to build. your movements become more erratic as you feel your own climax approaching.

“baby. alex, im gonna-“ you’re interrupted by your own desperate whimper. youre so so close but dont want to finish before him. the effort it takes to hold back is etched onto your face. taking note, alex wraps his arms around your waist and holds you tight as he begins to thrust upwards into you. his movements are clumsy at first, driven by instinct rather than experience. but your moans and cries guide him. not to mention the smell of the freshly baked cookies are still stuck to you, just as he suspected. this only urges him on.

your hands find themselves in his hair, gripping tightly as you eagerly ride him. the room is filled with the sounds of bodies slapping together, the sloppy sound of your wet pussy, and the sounds that leave both of your lips.

“keep going. just keep going.” alex grunts.

“im cumming,” you whisper. you lean into him, breasts pressing against his chest, nipples hard and sensitive. alex feels your pussy clench around him, the muscle contracting in sweet agony. hes so close. so fucking close.

with one final desperate thrust, he feels himself release inside of you. the tension in his body releasing in a torrent of pleasure. he groans, his head falling back as he empties himself into you. you follow him immediately after, your orgasm rips through your body. you collapse onto him, body limp. alex hugs you tightly. he feels your heart hammering against his chest and pussy still spasming around his cock.

you whimper against his neck, “help me take it out.” your voice is hoarse from the loud noises that escaped your lips. alex only nods before lifting your body off of him. his cock slides out of you with a wet sound that makes the both of you wince.

you crawl beside him and look his way. “you okay?” you ask. he doesn’t verbally reply. he just smiles, dazed. you run a hand through his messy hair, combing it out of his face. hes never felt so alive. he reaches out and takes your hand, lacing your fingers together.

you sit up, wincing a bit. you look at him with a playful glint. “wanna shower with me?”alex nods as his cheeks flush a little. hes still a little shy, a little nervous. but hes also excited and very very content.

[moonstruckme]

hiiii !!! i hope ur having a good day :) i was wondering if u would like writing smth with tasm peter or remus x reader where reader has some specific exams that r very important for her (peter/remus doesnt have them) and shes just so anxious about it and has a lot of academic anxiety overall and isnt good at talking about it and peter or remus just comforts her and stuff? sorry if u dont like it tho u dont have to do it !! :)

Thanks for requesting ml!

cw: academic anxiety

tasm!Peter Parker x fem!reader ♡ 1k words

Peter’s not sure if you’ve realized how dark it is outside. He comes back from dinner with his Aunt May to find you in the exact same spot he left you, the bright light from your laptop beaming onto your face and making your features look severe and ghoulish. It’s the only light in the apartment. 

“Hey,” you say dimly. 

“Hey.” Peter stoops over the back of the couch, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and smooching your cheek. He squints into the glaring white of the practice questions on your screen. “How’s it going?” 

You hum, noncommittal. 

“Mm.” Peter squeezes your shoulders sympathetically, then gets up to grab the leftovers he’s brought from May’s. “Did you get something to eat?” 

“Yeah,” you say distantly, clicking something. 

“Really?” He turns to look around. There’s no evidence of cooking, no takeout containers on the coffee table, no dishes in the sink. It’s not that Peter doesn’t believe you, but he doesn’t. “What’d you have?” 

“Sounds great, babe.” 

He blinks. “Huh? I asked what you ate.” 

“Yeah,” you scroll a bit, clicking to the next page, “I’m sure May loved that.” 

A laugh startles out of him, and that’s what gets your attention. You look up, bemused. 

“Sweetheart.” Peter looks at you meaningfully, a smile still tempting his lips. “Have you eaten dinner yet?” 

You shake your head. “No. Why?” 

“Because I brought you leftovers,” he says, going to the microwave and popping them in. “But when I asked a second ago, you said yes.” 

“Oh.” Peter punches a minute into the microwave, and when the buzzing starts he looks over at you. You’re looking a bit embarrassed, but your gaze is already migrating back towards your laptop. “Sorry, I’m not great at splitting my focus.” 

“That’s okay.” He crosses the room to you, sitting on the coffee table so your knees are bracketed by his. “You’ve been studying for a long time today, huh?” 

Really, you’ve been studying for an ungodly amount of time every day for the past few weeks. It had started manageable, an hour a day to help prepare for this big exam you’ve got coming up, but as the date of the test grew closer Peter could sense you becoming almost frantic. You steadily increased your study time in what seems to him like a fruitless quest to become one hundred percent prepared by the time of the exam. These last few days, you’ve hardly let your laptop out of your sight. He’s convinced you must be dreaming of practice questions. 

You nod, looking exhausted. Peter reaches forward to rub a thumb under your eye. It’s tinged slightly red, and he’s willing to bet it burns from staring at your screen for so long. 

“You ready for a break?” he asks. 

You nod with a sigh, shutting your laptop screen. The microwave beeps, and Peter sets a hand on your leg to tell you to stay sitting while he gets it. The plate is warm in his hands. You inhale the steam as he passes it to you, eyes shutting contentedly. 

“Oh my god, I can’t believe May did her brussel sprouts and I didn’t even show.” 

“She missed you,” Peter admits, “but she got that you had to study.” 

“Thanks,” you tell him, situating the plate on your lap and skewering a brussel sprout onto your fork. 

The first few bites go down greedily, but soon you slow your pace. Peter sits while you eat in silence. This reticence is unusual for you, but he knows there’s any number of things it could be attributed to; hunger or exhaustion are at the top of that list. Still, there’s a look in your eyes that tells him you’ve gone somewhere else. 

“Hey,” he says, and you turn. “You wanna talk about it?” 

You give him a puzzled look, hand coming up to cover your full mouth. “About what?” 

“About the test,” Peter replies patiently. He sets a hand on your shoulder, rubbing at your tensed muscles. “You’re flipping out, pretty girl.” 

You scoff, but it’s weak and you know it. “I am not flipping out,” you say.

Peter could point to about a dozen things which indicate that you’re wrong, but he’s not trying to argue with you. “It’s okay if you are,” he says instead, wincing when his thumb digs into a sensitive knot in your shoulder and you flinch. “Sorry. Just, I know this is a big deal for you.” 

“It is a big deal,” you agree, looking down at your plate as you chase another brussel sprout, “but I’m fine. It’s normal to get nervous about big exams.” 

“Just because it’s normal doesn’t mean you have to deal with it,” he tells you. 

You don’t respond, maintaining your quiet even after Peter sees you swallow. He squints, ducking his head to look you in the eye. It’s obvious by the way you avoid him that you hear the faults in your own logic. You start to worry you lip. 

“I’m not trying to criticize you,” he says gently, thumbing it from between your teeth. “I just want you to tell me what you need. Do you want to talk about it? Or we could talk about something else, or watch a movie or something.” He juts further into your eyeline, and this time you look back at him. His thumb drops down to your chin. “Let me help, bub.” 

You look suddenly cracked open. More vulnerable than he’s seen you in awhile, and for a second Peter worries you might cry. “Can we watch a movie?” you ask. 

“Yeah.” Relief makes the word breathy. He punctuates it with a kiss to your forehead. “That sounds great. You wanna cuddle too?” 

You nod and eat some more of your dinner. “I might fall asleep,” you warn.

Peter grins. He always teases you for falling asleep during movies, but secretly he loves it. There’s something intrinsically peaceful about holding you against him, warm and heavy, while he watches, only to fill you in on what had happened to every character when you wake up and start asking questions. 

“I think you’ve earned it,” he says. 

You shrug like you don’t disagree, and set to finishing off your brussel sprouts while Peter gets up to make popcorn. You do fall asleep, not even ten minutes into the movie. Peter pulls you closer to him and watches the rest with his cheek resting atop your head