#I dont know what to do to help im at a total loss

[freebooter4ever]

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[sparring-spirals]

I got to say I really liked the episode (despite only having watched exu calamity of the exu series) and I think maybe Matt needed a breather after so many fast paced, lore filled episodes.

however, I am kinda bummed that the fcg processing has been put on hold for (at least) two weeks now and that means that, despite them being great actors that truly merge with their characters at the table, their reactions will be much less raw and there’s a chance some of them will forget tidbits of information, emotions they felt when it happened because they (as role players) will have had time to process it out of the game and it might create a dissonance in the game. tbf I kind of felt the difference even between the end of ep 91 and the beginning of 92 but it made sense because technically they were still running and couldn’t afford to process. idk. I have hope that we’ll still see that raw emotion, but I fear it won’t be as impactful as it could’ve been, especially if they’ll have to put the “reporting for duty” hat on immediately when they get to the camp

I think being a little bummed about the sort of unexpected hiatus on the Bell's Hells/Post F.C.G processing is super understandable! As someone who also really did enjoy the Crownskeepers return (hello im still yelling about Opal internally), I'm kind of in the same camp of being kind of thrown/disappointed about not getting to really dig into/sit with the Bell's Hells post-F.C.G loss. Like, LOVED the Crownkeepers, fascinating second half, kind of meh on the specific timing.

I'm holding my reservations about whether they're going to have to keep running/moving once we return to their portion of the story, since hey, until it happens (or doesn't!), we don't know, so I don't feel like getting too in my head about it until then.

That said! I do think that in general the cast puts characterization and staying true to the emotions of the character/story as a very high priority within the campaign. I think you're right that it won't be the exact same as if they had done a big emotional blowup/goodbye/processing scene in the same ep where they lost F.C.G, or immediately after. I don't think that means it has to be less impactful, just that- yeah, they'll have had more time to actually think/process it.

But they're also all professional voice actors who have, IMO, thus far shown how much they think about the inner lives of their characters and enjoy really digging deep into the emotional/interpersonal aspects of roleplay.

My assumption (my hope?) is that with additional time to think about + process a devastating/deeply emotional loss for their character(s), they'd choose to lean into that more, and not less. It wont be the same as the immediate raw reactions, thats true! But i dont think that means it has to be less impactful, even if they (as people) have had more time to process, and will be choosing how their characters, fresh off the loss, react. I dont think thats a guarantee it will be less impactful/emotional (maybe the additional thinking would actually enhance the reactions being true/insightful to the characters vs gut reactions from cast), but it will be different.

But if the cast chooses to lean into the heartbreak/emotions, and the circumstances of the BH in the upcoming ep enable it, I'm sure they can still kick my ass (emotionally), timeskip or not.

In general, I'm cautiously optimistic about what could happen next! Even if I don't love the timing thus far. I think there's still plenty of ways for me to get what I'm hoping for wrt F.C.G/BH. :] There are plenty of ways for me to get let down too, probably, but until it happens, or doesn't, I'm opting to not get too doomery about it. We'll see.

I uh. Hope that helps? A bit? Being bummed about specific things you were hoping for being off the table is totally reasonable. just hoping to lend an alternate way of viewing it, if desired.

(i wrote the sentence: "don't be lamenting your chickens before they hatch" and then went "what the fuck" out loud. i spent 4 hours at work today just doing systems diagramming and my brain is fried. clearly. keeping this here for my own entertainment.)

[nereidprinc3ss]

making this anonymous because i want to be a sneaky girl… i fear you’ll probably know who i am and if you know pretend u don’t because she’s not me i promise LOLLLL but i liked part 7 a lot i really liked how there was a big emphasis on how they’re doing this because they love each other i thought that was really sweet 😭 i think for me personally i’ve always had this thought of if a man wants to have sex with me he sees me as an object, so i’ve always kinda opposed the whole sexual thoughts thing but while reading dybmn (not to say blah blah fanfic cured me blah blah blah) it helped me realize you can have those thoughts and feeling for someone while simultaneously loving them and that doesn’t make you a bad person, i appreciated how much that showed in part 7.

(ALSO COULD BE TOTALLY WRONG ABT THIS NEXT PART DONT CANCEL ME I KNOW THE DYBMN ARMY ANALYSIS THESE FICS TO PIECES SO IF IM WRONG PLS IM SORRY this is just what i gathered)

what i think made this part different from the rest (besides the loss of virginity thing) is that if i’m not mistaken this was not only readers first time having sex, but spencer’s first time having sex with someone who mutually feels the same way about him COULD BE SOOO WRONG but with the whole elle thing and then him just having a slut era where he hooked up with a bunch of women i just assume he’s never had sex with someone who is in love with him but i’m sorry if i am missing something 😭😭 obviously they did like hand and mouth stuff first but they were both under the impression they either felt differently about each other, or weren’t aware of it yet. so i thought it was really cute how they kept saying i love you because i’m sure having that emotional factor changes sex but what would i know LOLLL it was just special to me💕 anywho im done yappin now, have the most perfect night!!!!

OK OMG IM GONNA TALK ABT THIS UR BRAIN IS SOOOO HUGE

that was one of the most important parts to get across for me. i think porn and smut have really fucked with people’s perceptions of sex and obviously i am contributing to that in my own way but i REALLY wanted to write something where it was so clear that the love came first and was far more important than the sex, but also that they intertwined so much, like the sex was an EXPRESSION of love. and also even though reader has been beggginggg spencer to fuck for like ever, in MY opinion she subconsciously wasn’t actually ready for it until now. she basically wanted to have sex because she was worried abt what other people thought and wanted to appease her insecurities but for both of them, having sex was really about love which is always my attitude towards it as well, i am very anti hookup culture being the dominant way people connect and obviously do what you want but i hate that now it’s the expectation that you aren’t or even shouldn’t get attached to the person you’re sleeping with. so basically this is propaganda and me furthering my own agenda. i don’t think sex has to be “dirty” or warrant guilt at all, it can be something (we’re getting corny🚨🚨) that is JUST for you and your partner, not performative, and done because you truly love each other. like to me that’s so romantic—eliminating all outside influence and being very private bc it’s this one incredibly intimate thing you share only with each other. obviously this will not be everyone’s perspective but i find monogamy and commitment soooo sexy lol like make each other feel special!! that is so cute!! choose each other and share things you wouldn’t share with anyone else!!!! i love it!! sex when u love someone has like nothing to do with our societal perception of sex and it sucks that we’ve like bastardized it so much

[y-vna]

Just so it's clear, one of my big dni crits is this:

TW: My rant includes HEAVY topics of ed (eating disorders) and intentionally starving yourself/unhealthy weight loss 🙁.

This post is also ULTRA long, will definitely contain grammar and spelling mistakes, and I'm not going to say 100% everything here is accurate information, as I'm a human and I make mistakes too.

Let me get this clear, I dont mean anyone harm with this post. My intention isn't to hate or attack/hurt anyone to make them feel upset. I know that having an ed is a serious matter. I have friends and family who actively have/had these kinds of eds, so im not uneducated on this subject and I do understand it to a very in-depth degree. This is not to say I know everything about this topic, however.

It is definitely not easy to recover from, and lots of people struggle from it every day. I am NOT saying people with this disorder are any less human than anyone else. I'm saying it's toxic for those who do have it since it actually harms your body a lot, and pushing it on others (not the fact you have it in the first place) is something I don't support.

So respectfully, if you do support/promote eds as a positive thing, or are/follow/interact with blogs who do, BLOCK ME AND DNI. thank you.

I love everyone for who they are inside, regardless of what their body looks like. And I'm telling you right now, as someone who tried so hard to have a perfect body and stop eating bc im super insecure, it's not worth it, and it makes you feel so shitty. I love you, whoever is reading this, no matter what. So please don't change who you are just to make others happy :( <3

--

So I was looking thru tumblr, and this one post kept getting shown to me where people were talking about basically the idea of: "its worth it to keep losing that undesired weight, you'll see results soon" as like a motivational thing. The tags (straight up tells you it's supposed to be inspo to becoming skinny and supports the idea having an ed is the only way to get a dream bod), and their whole blog had ed encouragement/motivation. To keep...starving, i guess.?? Despite their user being about being strong and healthy, nothing about this is healthy or keeps your body strong.

I didn't decide to write a whole rant about just that part of the post because I didn't start getting super concerned until i read the notes/comments (since i had seen a lot of these 'tw : ed' blogs before already). What I saw was that tons of users were promoting starving yourself as a goal and a good thing, and basically glorifying having an ed. And also using kpop idols with skinny and perfect figures like wonyoung to tell others that (almost a literal direct quote from this user-) 'us ed people don't want to be helped and we won't stop starving ourselves until we reach the weight we want.'

"You see it as negativity cause you're not disordered." KEEP IN MIND THE PERSON THEY'RE TALKING TO USED TO ACTUALLY HAVE AN ED (the screenshot below is the person they were talking to). I understand you can't push people to get help if they don't want it, but you have to draw a line when you start saying that every person with ed doesn't want help, which just isnt true. I looked at their blog, and it was all just calculating how many calories they ate and burned every day. Most of the posts they basically only totaled 300 calories a day. THAT IS SUPER SICK ☹️. An average human needs like 2000+ calories a day. It actively influences people to copy them by posting and blogging this SUPER unhealthy weight loss. It IS NOT positive on any level. It does nothing good for you. You won't feel any happier when you look in the mirror if all you can feel is pure hunger because you won't give your body what it needs. This is so sad to me because all the comments had people trying to ask how to start starving themselves, and every blog I clicked on all had ed triggers on their posts and bios. Some of those blogs were saying NOT to become like them because they can't see themselves recovering now that they're in too deep.

As said by people online who actually had and got through having an ed, they have explained it is very unhealthy and they were glad to recover. So even though I do not have an ed, and you might think I shouldn't be "judging" people who have them, there are plenty of formerly ed diagnosed people who know the bad effect it has on others/had on them because they can accurately relate. You can still educate people on a subject even if you yourself do not have to suffer from it/have it, as long as you're doing it properly with proven facts (literally all credible research you do anywhere backed by science and experts will prove eds aren't healthy). People educate themselves to teach others about other illnesses, ongoing or past wars in history, etc, they don't have firsthand experience with/from. And they can still be just as valid sometimes.

My whole point here is that on tumblr and so many other social media platforms, I keep seeing people (posts like this and whole blogs centered around this stuff,) encouraging (mainly young) girls to stop eating altogether to have a body that society and other people are more satisfied with. That's why, for a while, I also tried to do the same because of the people saying it was a positive thing to gain a bad relationship with food and start counting your calories to be perfect. I'm also someone who struggles with body image and being shamed for gaining weight. But at some point hou need to realize hurting your body and mental state is SO WRONG. NOBODY is perfect. So don't push you or anyone else to be. I learned this, and I get its super hard to ignore the judgment forced onto you by society and your surroundings, but there will be people who appreciate you just how you are now. Like me.

So with all that said, the moral here is:

Don't starve urself (on purpose. Bc some people genuinely have trouble eating and starve themselves non intentionally. I have friends who do this 😭)

You're perfect how u are now without being as slim as your idols (and even K-pop idols don't tell others usually to be like them because they know that their companies forcing them to strictly control their weight isn't something they want fans to look up to).

Don't force (potential) ed on others

Don't encourage unhealthy relationship with your body and food

I do support people with eds, as long as they aren't trying to make it something others should look up to, and aspire to have.

If you are someone who wants to normalize having an ed as healthy or positive, please do not interact with this blog and feel free to block me :(

Thank you for reading, have a good day and ily for whoever is reading this. 💗💖💓💕

[neuvisex]

Hiyaaa, i have a request but it may be triggering so if you dont feel comfy writing it, please let me know and i'll completely understand <3

If possible, may i requests scaramouche x reader who's um..like..struggling? with uhm..suicidal..like..this is hard to say but like. struggling with self harm..??? uhm. like cvtt1ng on their arms and thighs and they have alot of scars from it too and he finds out? fluffy ending..?? sorry..

im going through alot so uhm. yeah. but once again-! totally okay if you dont feel comfy writing it-!! i dont want you to feel like im guilt tripping you or anything too!! its all your decision <3

But anyways, Lots of love!! 🐈‍⬛💜 have an amazing day/night!!

♣︎ Immortality ♣︎

You find yourself facing a dead end, and the one to help you out is none less than the last person you expected.

TWs: self-harm, suicidal thoughts, mild gore, unhealthy behaviors

Tags: angst, hurt/comfort, gn!reader

Summary: Scaramouche finds out reader is struggling with their own self.

A/N: I too struggle with SH, so this was kind of self-indulgent... I don't know if it's fluffy enough by the ending but, well, at least it's not tragic either...

Blood. Your house is filled with a hideous, stale odor that spreads through the walls and shakes the core of the structure. As soon as Scaramouche senses it, his heart begins to race in anguish. No, no, please, not blood. He runs across the room with his legs wobbly, your name leaving his mouth in stuttering words.

— Y/N? Y/N, where the fuck are you?!

When he gets to the bathroom door, his body freezes. Scaramouche falls to his knees in front of your haggard body leaning on the bathtub, his hands trembling in a loss of what to do. For the first time in a long while, he feels genuine fear. Your arms are dyed a terrifyingly familiar dark red, a discarded blade in the puddle that spreads, smearing the floor. The two of you stare at each other for what seems like ages, his desperate eyes meeting your downcast ones.

— Please stay with me. Come on, stay with me.

You open your dry lips to say that everything is fine. That this is just a habit, something you do to ease the pain inside.

— What…?

Scaramouche is useless. How had he not noticed before? Your clothes always long, covering your arms and legs. Your distant, sometimes even evasive, behavior. Your fake smiles, while your eyes were filled with suffering. He should have guessed earlier. Before you had done it again.

— Y/N, I… calm down, I’ll help you… I’ll help you…

The boy's voice cracks as tears roll down his cheeks. He rips off a piece of his own robes and uses it to stop the liquid seeping through your skin, pressing firmly against it. When you ask why he's doing this for you, Scaramouche falls silent. Indeed, why? Why is he, who had renounced human emotions a long time ago, lying at your feet, begging you not to leave him?

— …please don't do that anymore. Please. — he repeats like a prayer.

**

Night falls quickly. You lie on your bed with your arms bandaged as the blue-haired puppet watches you intently, his features puffy and reddened.

— Are you angry? — You ask shyly.

Scaramouche looks like he can't believe what he's hearing. Now that both of you are more stable, he lets out an emotionless laugh.

— I'm not…I'm just wondering…why? Why mistreat your own body? Why didn't you ever tell me? Why did you…

Your hands find his in an act of consolation. He seems reluctant at first, but eventually relents and relaxes under your touch.

— Listen, I… I'm not exactly the best person to talk about self-love, but you, I mean… yeah, life sucks most of the time, I won't deny it, but you're a valuable person. And if you don't see it yet, one day you might. While you are in this process… count on me. Take it out on me, lean on me, cry with me. Just don't do that to yourself anymore, okay?

[polyamorousmood]

hi! i'd love to get some sympathy/advice/etc from other ppl about this. so long story short my girlfriend (wonderful amazing great i am so happy with her) has a boyfriend, and i at first their rs was meant to be ephemeral, but then things changed and they realized they could make a longform commitment work out, so they tried! problem is, during the trial run, the guy realized poly wasnt working for him and he failed to communicate this well, so it caused a situation where he was very much just fishing for my partner to get in a closed rs with him. when she expressed how hurtful and wrong that was, he apologized and changed his behavior and after some more various ups and downs we've now settled into a pretty good situation where he's giving polyamory a serious try and seems sincerely committed to making it good! i trust my gf wholeheartedly and i want nothing but the best for them both, and for that brief period of time where it was ok we even had 3person dates and really special interactions, so i came to sincerely like guy a decent bit and i am cautiously but sincerely optimistic. however, by having to admit shit to himself, he's now of the mind that he'd like a much more segmented-off rs with my partner, which is fine, but also the resentment he felt towards not being able to have my gf all to himself made him lose his positive feelings towards me and now he expresses a (his words) 'goodwilled indifference' and we havent even Talked since he tried to effectively ultimatum my gf out of being poly. and that is just SO hurtful when i know i did absolutely nothing wrong to warrant the loss of what i felt was a genuinely precious and positive connection, and like, the first time ive had the chance to have a metamour! like as someone who really cares about learning how to admit fault i really cannot stress enough how much i didnt do jack shit here i was just vibing and trying to be nice and now it's just this sad thing i have to deal with. i know it has everything to do with his own preferences and insecurities and nothing to do with me, but i still feel a big child-like sense of betrayal and injustice and it makes me want to be mean and bitter and defensive ("well if you dont give a shit about me and wanna pretend i don't exist, then im gonna do the same! how do you like that, huh?" type beat). i know those feelings are to be worked with and worked through instead of acted upon, but it's still hard :-( i dont really miss *him*, really, i just miss not being in a polycule that has a member who struggles so much with polyamory. and though i trust her deeply, i am still sad and worried that this is a precarious situation that can end up hurting my partner and hampering her ability to feel free and happy in polyamory, which only adds to my mistrusting of the guy. anyone else in a similar situation, havin' to work with a poly-newbie metamour or something similar? im not crazy for getting bad vibes, despite my best hopes for them? thank you either way, i dont know enough poly people irl and ive been bursting with this shit for a bit so it helps even to just ramble it out

Yeah, I've been in similar places. Just putting the read more immediately because I don't have a good pithy introduction. But uh, TL;DRI guess? 🤷‍♀️: its totally fair for you to struggle with some negative feelings. But you are still in it together (even if he's pretending you don't exist) and the only way to the other side is through.

Its shitty, its exhausting, its infuriating. And it's all the more frustrating that you like... don't even WANT to be mad at him cause he DID apologize and now he IS trying to change the shitty parts, so you WANT to encourage that. Feels very

And it puts your mutual partner in the tough spot of having to balance⚖️ things between you two if he's unwilling to talk to you. And like, you're stuck waiting for him to come around, you can't even really DO anything, its all on HIM to prove he's not going to be an asshole forever.

And you kinda resent him for causing this much trouble basically all on his own! And then thinking he can still get all the good shit after stirring the pot! Like he tried to break you up and now you have to be the bigger person?? What kinda bullshit--

Fucking. Sucks.

I do have some advice, though as with most things, its not magic 🪄

🤬Be mad for a little bit! Allow yourself to feel it. You're not gonna wallow 🐖there, but let it hit you full force how much you dislike being in this bullshit situation. Maybe have a cry about it or throw some darts at his picture 🎯. Then, and only then,

Set it aside. Set the anger aside in your mind, set the situation aside in your discussions. Say "yup, sucks. Moving on..." and enjoy the good parts of your life.

As part of that, remember polyamory is a big ask for people who've never done it before. Him even just politely ignoring you is likely, in his mind, him compromising on everything he's believed in for years and the fundamentals of what his life will look like. That's a big deal. It's hard to do after there was previously a higher standard set, but try to give him some credit for that anyway. (Again. You are probably going to have to Be Mad first to be able to do this. That's okay. Don't skip ahead.)

I don't think having approximately the same attitude back is necessarily a bad strategy. Maybe don't do it with the petulance you presented in the ask 😝 but if you're able to just gently, non-judgmentally accept neutrality as a mode of operating with him... might save you a lot of trouble honestly🤷. Warmth is great and all, but I think it runs the risk of you burning out and feeling greater resentment down the line if it stays one sided (but you know yourself better than I do, so if you can handle it, power to you).

Know your feelings about this really well. Know what you're good with 👍, know what bothers you but you're willing to do for the good of the polycule😖, and know what really upsets you👎. Is this something you can make work long term? What changes would you need to have it work long term (including progress from him, accommodations from your partner, etc)?

Consider confronting him directly. You'll know better if that's actually a good idea in this situation than I will, but consider it. It may help you move past things to air your feelings, it may help him understand you better and vice versa, and it may lay the groundwork for a more functional relationship down the line. I must admit bias here. It is VERY important to me that things can be relaxed with my metas. The idea of refusing to engage with me feels like they're refusing to engage with the very concept of polyamory, and I that cannot work in my life - like, I run a poly blog you can guess how I value polyamory 😂 If you can be comfortable with something closer to parallel polyamory, this may be unnecessary.

And of course, through all of this, you have to talk to your partner. All of it. If you have a tendency to martyr yourself so as not to stress your partner out, overpower that tendency for this one. You are NOT doing your partner any favors by doing bottling it up. 🍾

For example, earlier I said your partner is going to have to balance things between you and your meta. It may be tempting to think you can spare her some of that by shrinking your feelings and needs, so maybe you'll just bite your tongue. However, she has to do the work anyway, and forcing her to work with incomplete information actually makes the balancing that much harder. While you shouldn't harp on them about it, she should know where you're at in all this. You owe your partner the ability to make informed decisions, and your happiness and ability to sustain a certain set-up is going to be an important factor to them! Tell them your misgivings, tell them if its going to take you some time to forgive him his bullshit, tell them if you are okay with something in the short term but don't know if you can spring it long term, tell them if you need a break from thinking about the whole damn situation. (And of course, as always, tell your partner when something feels good or is going well 😊)

It can be recovered. It will require patience. Hang in there. 🤗 I admire your commitment to figuring it out, and it sounds like you have a splendid partner who is just as committed to making it workable. I'm rooting for you all 💙💖🖤

[sleepyboy-stuff]

hiii-!!! :3 saw your post about Logan requests and was thinkin' about (CG) Logan who gets up in the night (like in X2) and he sees reader regressed whilst watching TV or something and he looks after them for a bit, maybe convinces reader to go to sleep and helps settle them???

hope you're having an amazing day/evening/night!!! feel free to ignore this idea!!!

-🧸🌷(hope it's oki that I went anon, was a bit nervous 😅)

ollo!! thank you so much for your request, and its totally okay that you sent it on anon, i dont mind at all!! youre super sweet :]

anyways, uh, heres what i wrote! im super nervous to post this but, i hope you like it :D

It was late into the night-- probably around 2am, you guessed, but you didn't bother checking the clock. Most residents of Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters were fast asleep, and normally you were too. But tonight, you lay wide awake in your nest of blankets and pillows, hugging your favorite plushie and sucking on a pacifier as all sorts of thoughts ran through your mind.

Most prominent in your head was an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. This always happened when you were little; if you were alone for longer than 15 minutes, The Sadness started creeping in, and there was nothing you could do to stop it. Usually you could distract yourself, by coloring or playing games on your phone or something, but tonight you were practically drowning in it.

Your heart ached for someone, anyone, to come and comfort you, but you knew nobody would. Especially not the person you really wanted: Logan.

You considered going to his room and waking him up, but you knew you couldn't do that. He wasn't the most strict caregiver, but he did have one very harsh rule: you can't bother him when he's sleeping, and you can't sleep with him. You knew it was because of his nightmares, but still, you missed him.

Tears were welling up in your eyes. You didn't know how long you'd just been sitting there, but suddenly, you decided you'd had enough of it. You sat up and wiped the tears away with your sleeve, shuffling out of bed with your plushie in tow.

And that was how you ended up here in the common room, watching Spongebob Squarepants on the big TV (with your plushie sitting next to you), giggling to yourself.

You were drawn into the cartoon, happy to finally get away from your feelings. So distracted, you didn't even notice the figure that appeared behind you.

"You're up late."

You squeaked in surprise, your head whipping around to find none other than Logan leaning up against the doorway, one eyebrows raised.

You stared at him with wide eyes, not knowing what to say.

He walked over to the couch, sitting down next to you with a huff. "What're you doing up, kid?"

You hesitantly took your pacifier out of your mouth to speak. "Couldn' sleep."

He grunted. "Yeah, me neither."

"Nightmares?"

"Yeah."

You wrapped your arms around his torso, resting your head on his shoulder. It was a bit of an awkward angle, coming at him from the side, but you made it work. "'m sorry."

"It's alright, kid. It's not like it's your fault," he said, resting his hand on your back.

You snuck your pacifier back into your mouth, but you didn't let Logan go, snuggling into him instead. He was always warm, and warm felt so cozy. He's even better than a blankie, you thought, as his hand started moving up and down along your back. It was a comforting touch.

You tried to pay attention to the show, but pretty soon your eyelids started drooping; finally, you were falling asleep. And Logan noticed.

"Hey, maybe it's time we head back to bed, huh?" He patted your back and pulled himself away from you, standing up.

You began to whine at the loss of warmth, looking up at him with sad eyes. He only stared down at you with lidded eyes, not falling for your puppy-dog look. 

You pulled your pacifier out. "Can I sleep with you..?" You knew his answer would be no, but you asked anyways.

Logan took a moment to think. "... Sure, you can."

Your eyes widened. "Really?!"

"Yeah. Just as long as you don't move around too much."

You felt a smile dawn on your face, and you popped your pacifier back in your mouth before you jumped up into his arms. He held you up easily, and you wrapped your arms around his neck.

"There we go," he murmured, walking out of the room. The TV was still on, but neither of you really cared.

Eventually, the two of you ended up in Logan's room. He gingerly set you down on his bed, and you pulled back the covers, crawling underneath them. He slid in beside you, pulling the blanket over your bodies before sliding his arms around you. You cuddled close together, and the room lapsed into silence, no noise except for the sounds of soft breathing.

In the end, you did fall asleep, secure in Logan's arms. But what you didn't know is that Logan never fully fell asleep himself. He laid awake the rest of the night, watching over you, keeping his little safe.

[yourdaddyfigure]

I feel kinda silly doing this but I dont really have a lot of people to talk to

Ive been kinda talking to this guy i met on here. Weve talked about bdsm stuff and also romantic stuff. I really like him. But hes been mia for a few days. Which I know why and I completely understand his reasons. His friend *just* died and he kinda copes through isolation. I know hes alive bc ive seen him online and hes been posting on here occasionally. And i keep texting him everyday bc he said seeing my face and seeing me be happy helps make him a little happier. But idk. It kinda sucks texting into a void. And i really miss him. And im not mad about it. I completely understand. I even understand that throwing a couple posts a day is easier than having a conversation with someone. Like i super understand and everything.

I guess im just- is it wrong?? To be this sad?? About him not texting? I honestly just really want him to be ok. And id be ecstatic with even just a reaction to the texts i send or some sort of acknowledgment. Im scared that this is going to go on for a long time. I dont know what to do.

Hey, I totally get where you're coming from. It's completely understandable to feel sad and miss someone you care about, especially when they're going through a tough time. It sounds like you have a lot of empathy and understanding for his situation, which is really admirable.

While it's important to give him space to cope with his loss, it's also valid for you to feel a bit frustrated or lonely when you're not getting the same level of communication in return. It's natural to want some sort of acknowledgment or reaction to the texts you send.

Have you considered expressing your feelings to him in a gentle and understanding way? Let him know that you care about him and that you understand he needs time to process his emotions, but also express that you miss him and would appreciate even a brief response or acknowledgment. Communication is key in any relationship, and expressing your needs and concerns can help foster understanding and connection.

Remember, it's important to take care of yourself too. If this situation continues for a long time and you find yourself feeling consistently unhappy or neglected, it might be worth reassessing whether this relationship is meeting your needs. It's important to be with someone who can provide the level of communication and support that you desire.

I hope things get better for both of you, and that he finds the strength to cope with his loss. Take care of yourself, friend, and know that you deserve happiness and support in your relationships.

[poeticlilies]

Hello! It says requests are open for you, however if i misread it or you dont feel comfortable writing this feel free to ignore! I'd like to request Kunikida, Atsushi and whoever else you'd like to add comfort their s/o going through grief? My dog passed away a few days ago and it's been pretty hard for me. Again, if you don't feel comfy writing this you're more than welcome to delete! I hope you have a wonderful day/night!

♡ Kunikida and Atsushi with an S/O who's dog passed away.

Kunikida Doppo x Reader , Atsushi Nakajima x Reader

Desc: some HC of what they would do to comfort their S/O if their dog passed away (gender neutral reader)

TW/CW: animal death, angst, spoilers for Dazai's past and Odasaku

Kunikida, Doppo

oh dear,, being totally honest, he'd be kind of bad at comforting.

I mean, he's a very methodical man; a believer that if you follow the steps exactly as written that everything will be perfect.

he doesn't really.. realize.. that human emotion cannot be comforted through constrained directions.

he definitely tries !! he's a bit. wonky because he insists that [xyz] is SURELY going to help you even though you don't like it, because that's what's in the guidebook and the guidebook MUST be right... correct?

after a while, though, he definitely sees that it's not helping at all, and wills himself to change for your sake.

he's determined to make his own "y/n care guide" ; he takes notice of even the most microscopic of details and writes them down, then later researches specific methods from well-known therapists to try them out with you, then references back to see which ones worked and scribbles out the ones that didn't.

he's not good with emotions; he's not an emotion man and he knows it. if you placed a crying child in front of him, he'd be the type of person to awkwardly stare... but you're not a crying child. you're you, the love of his life; the one who will triumph over all his ideals, morals, everything each and every time. so he makes the effort for you, in his own way of showing love.

Atsushi, Nakajima

the EXACT opposite of Kunikida.

although he gets embarrassed and awkward easily, he's experienced so much pain and suffering he knows how to comfort somebody.

he'll probably try to direct your attention away ,, he knows a dog is probably constantly around you and the pain of now constantly. being alone. reminds you of your loss 24/7 and he'll try to get you as busy as possible to distract that.

trips to carnivals? check ! daily outings in cafes? check! calling you to see if you want to go to the park at.. 9pm? check!

he probably comes off as a little overbearing but he means well. he just truly wants to help <3.

--

a/n: .. hello ! i'm sorry i was gone for so long :(. this is so late and im so so sorry but.. here it is!

[stuckonstarker]

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬? 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐤.

read on AO3

Peter examined his robotics homework helplessly. He stared at the fluorescent screen of his busted up laptop until his eyes felt like they were going to explode.

He liked to think he was intelligent. He prided himself on it. While he was good at robotics, biology and chemistry were his true strengths.

He kept desperately turning the problem around in his head in a valiant, though fruitless, effort to come to any solution. He huffed.

Pulling out his cracked phone, Peter took a hasty picture of the problem and sent it to Ned. He typed in Ned’s number from memory, his old phone having been obliterated in a fight gone awry with a man cosplaying as a rhino - for whatever reason. 

Peter, tired out of his wits and ready to just go to bed already, didn’t bother checking if the number he sent it to was actually Ned’s. He sent the photo. It was accompanied by several text messages. 

peter: do u have any idea how to solve this? peter: sry for bothering u peter: im at a total loss lmao help me pls

Tony’s phone dinged. He didn’t even look up from the project he was working on.

Then the phone dinged rapidly two more times. Tony groaned. He glared at the phone like it had any say in the matter.

The messages Tony had received were from an unknown number. He was gearing up to block the rando before looking at what the messages actually said.

There was a photo of what was clearly homework. It wasn’t particularly complex, but Tony could see how it could trip someone up. Especially when it was the dead of night. And if the area code of the number was anything to go by, whoever this mystery number was, it was also going on three in the morning for them as well.

Tony responded by solving the problem. He sent a photo.

Tony: You’re welcome. No need to thank me. Actually, do thank me.

-

Peter perked up at the response. It wasn’t like Ned to be up so late. In fact, Ned had gotten on his case several times about his “deranged” sleeping habits.

Peter looked at his phone and cheered. He responded. 

peter: thank you thank you thank you !!!! peter: ned u r a life saver u r back in my will

He finished up his homework when he got another message. He read it and his face went hot while his body went cold.

Unknown Number: Not Ned. No need to put me in your will, unless you have something really cool besides highschool homework.

Peter typed.

peter: if u arent ned then who r u mystery man????

Unknown Number: Not important.

peter: its very important!!!!!! peter: how did u know the answer hm?????

Unknown Number: No offense, kid, but that problem was rudimentary. 

peter: oooo rudimentary peter: ill rudimentary ur face bro peter: cut me some slack its like 3 am

Unknown Number: Then go to bed.

peter: ur not my dad smhhhhh

Unknown Number: I don’t need to be your dad to know it’s past your bedtime. Go to bed.

peter: lmao no

Unknown Number: Is this how you always treat people who do your homework for you?

peter: u solved one ( 1) problem peter: dont get cocky

Unknown Number: Arrogance is the one thing I’m good at.

peter: that and robotics apparently peter: u must be old peter: no one msgs like that lmao peter: ur texting not writing a novel

Unknown Number: I am old.

peter: how old

Unknown Number: Old.

peter: ha ha peter: im not actually laughing that was sarcastic

Unknown Number: I gathered that.

peter: tell me ur name at least peter: pls peter: so i can thank u 

Peter stared at his phone hard. The light of it illuminating him and the pitch blackness that surrounded him.

He watched as the text bubbles appeared and disappeared over and over again. They stopped before a message popped up.

Unknown Number: Tell me yours first. 

This guy, Peter thought. For some reason, probably his inane curiosity, Peter wanted to know more about this stranger. So, he complied. Nothing bad could come from sharing just his first name, right? There are like a million Peters in the world.

peter: peter peter: now u

Unknown Number: You can call me Tony.

peter: thank u tony

tony: You’re welcome. 

The conversation seemed to have come to a close. Peter set his phone down, resolute on getting at least three hours of sleep. Then, another message popped up.

tony: Feel free to contact me with any more robotics problems you come across.

-

“Ned,” Peter said, successfully capturing his friend’s attention despite the onslaught of dodgeballs being pummeled at them.

“What?” Ned gave his friend a bright look, “Is this about spider activities?”

Peter said, “No. And I thought we made a rule about not talking about the spider here.”

“I was being discreet,” Ned said.

Peter shook his head, “Whatever. That is so not the point. Anyways, last night I was having some serious problems with Mr. Volpenhein’s homework and I texted you because I needed help, but I didn’t text you. I accidentally texted some random guy and he solved the problem. Then he tried to tell me to go to bed.”

“Did he get the answer right?” Ned asked.

Peter said, “I think so.”

“No offense, Peter, but that isn’t that exciting.”

Peter shrugged his shoulders.

Ned laughed, “Even some strange guy was trying to put you to bed.”

“Whatever,” Peter said with a smile.

Peter, adrenaline spiking in a matter of seconds, jumped in front of Ned. In the process, he caught the ball that had been hurled at his friend. He gave a harsh glare to the perpetrator in question who was, as always, Flash.

Flash’s eyes were wide, but he dug his heels into the ground. “You just got lucky, Penis! Next time I won’t miss,” He called out.

Peter rolled his eyes. 

“Thanks, man,” Ned said. 

Peter sighed, “No worries. The sooner we’re out of here, the better.”

Ned nodded.

-

They had lunch right after gym. In Peter’s opinion, besides in the morning, this was the worst time to have gym. But that was just the typical Parker Luck, as him and May have dubbed it.

“Tell me more about your robotic savior,” Ned said as they sat in their usual spots by the window.

Peter gave him a look, “I thought you said it wasn’t exciting.”

“It’s not.”

Peter pushed Ned lightly, Ned barely even moved. They both shared a small laugh.

“But,” Ned said, “but… I want to know who this guy is. I don’t want you replacing me as your Guy-In-The-Chair.”

Peter laughed, “No one could replace you. Except for maybe MJ. But she’d never want to replace you, so that’s sorted.”

Ned said, “Do you think this mystery guy is a villain?”

“No,” Peter said, “usually bad guys kick me around a bunch. So far, none of them have offered to help me with my homework.”

Ned made a contemplative noise, “You never know.”

“I think I have a pretty good guess, though,” Peter said. 

“But you still never know.”

“Since when did you have trust issues?” Peter asked with a smile. He said, “Being weirdly detached and mistrusting is MJ’s thing.”

Ned said, “I’m only looking out for you. I don’t want what happened with Dr. O-”

“Ned.”

Ned gave Peter a soft look, “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Peter said, attempting to, and failing at, sounding like it was fine. It was very much not fine. But that didn’t mean he wanted to talk about it.

He said, “This guy’s name is Tony, by the way.”

“Whoa.” Ned asked, “Like Stark?”

Peter shook his head, “Out of the millions of people I could’ve accidentally texted, the odds of me texting Tony Stark is extremely low. Even if I did text him, he probably wouldn’t have answered.”

“But…” Ned said with a wry smile, “You never know.”

“Ned.”

Ned smiled, “Yeah?”

“Shut up,” Peter said as they both busted out into laughter.

-

Tony walked through a long sanitized hallway. Pepper was in front of him, luring him to his despise. Or, otherwise known as, a meeting with a bunch of stuffy halfwits.

The boardroom was just as sickeningly perfect as the hallway had been. Several men, who looked like clones of each other, sat around a table. Their eyes shot toward Tony the moment he entered the room.

Truly the only way Tony had been able to tell the difference between these men was at what stage of balding they were at. Michael Krasinski had a full head of hair while Byron Moss had none. Everyone else fell at different spots in the middle to Tony.

He sighed, “If I’m honest, which I’m rarely not nowadays, I don’t understand the purpose of this meeting.”

“What Tony means to say is,” Pepper started, swooping in to save his ass as she often did, “Stark Industries has been very successful lately. This meeting is unexpected.”

One of the members, whose hair was barely hanging on, piped up, “There have been a few investments that concerned us.”

“Pep,” Tony whispered, “if they bring up the student internships again I will freak out.”

The student internship situation had been controversial when Tony first did it. Apparently, no one cares about nurturing bright young minds. It had been a “waste of money” to encourage students to enter the STEM workfield.

Tony had assured them he would take care of it. Then he didn’t change shit. So they were probably pissed about that.

“We are eager to hear your concerns and make improvements where necessary,” Pepper said to the group of scrutinizing eyes. 

Tony immediately zoned out. He discreetly pulled out his phone and sent a message to Rhodey.

Tony: When are you going to get back, Platypus? I miss you.

A response came immediately.

Peter: i didnt know we were using nicknames now Peter: what do i call u

Tony restrained saying an expletive. He had texted the highschooler from last night.

Tony: I didn’t mean to text you. That should be obvious. And you do not get to call me a nickname. We’re not there yet.

Peter: oooo how the turn tables turn Peter: who is this platypus Peter: are they like perry?

Tony: Who’s Perry?

Peter: ur joking Peter: theres no way you actually dont know who perry the platypus is

Tony: I don’t.

A picture came through of a blue animal that could be perceived as a platypus if looked at through squinted eyes.

I have never seen that creature before in my life, Tony sent with a smile.

Peter: omg u have to watch phineas and ferb

Tony: I don’t have to do anything, actually.

Peter: wow ur sooooo cool tony Peter: only losers havent seen phineas and ferb

Tony: It’s a cartoon.

Peter: so???

Tony: So, you’re calling me a loser for not watching a children’s show?

Peter: ye

Tony: You know what, kid. I respect that.

Then, Tony considered for a moment.

Tony: Wait. Tony: Shouldn’t you be in school?

Peter: i am

Tony: Why are you texting me?

Peter: cos im bored lol Peter: i already know all the material so it doesnt matter

Tony: You didn’t seem to know all the material last night. If I recall, you were having problems with a pretty basic circuit.

Peter: it was THREE IN THE MORNING

Tony: Don’t yell at me.

Peter: wat r u going to do?? Peter: ground me?? Peter: love to see u try mister

Tony: Keep it up and I will.

Peter: ooo im sooo scared

Tony: Pay attention to your teacher.

Peter: i just told u i already know this stuff Peter: its chem and im hella good at that

Tony: Where do you go to school? 

Tony only realized how creepy of a question that was after he sent it.

Peter: none of your business high

Tony: My bad. Overstepped a boundary there.

Peter: apology accepted

Tony: I wasn’t apologizing.

Peter: bruh Peter: then what were u doing???

Tony: Taking accountability.

Peter: im pretty sure thats the textbook definition of apologizing

Tony let out a soft laugh and everyone in the meeting looked at him. 

“Is there anything you’d like to add?” asked some guy who was rapidly approaching the bald end of the spectrum.

Tony smiled, “Nope.”

“Mr. Stark is only amused because these reports show that the student internship program has been a wild success,” Pepper said with the swiftness of someone who was used to Tony’s antics.

Another board member interjected, “Just because something’s a success doesn’t mean we should continue it.”

“Are you being serious?” Tony asked before Pepper could form a prim response.

Pepper sighed, “There is no reason to discontinue the program. Until someone in this room provides clear statistical proof that the student internship program is not worth continuing then it will continue running. Along with every other civil program Stark Industries is running.”

“Tell em, Pep,” Tony said.

Pepper gave him a look with her icy eyes. Tony smiled in turn. 

Leaving the board meeting was an instant breath of fresh air. Even if Pepper instantly got on his case. To be fair, he deserved it.

“You weren’t even paying attention,” Pepper said.

Tony tilted his head, “I am taking that accusation very heavily, Potts. You’ll be in contact with my lawyer.”

“I’d have to be the one to call them,” Pepper said.

Tony smiled at her apologetically.

Pepper asked, “Who were you texting?”

“I wasn’t texting.”

Pepper gave him a blank look, “I’m not blind.”

“You know,” Tony admitted, “I’m not really sure. Some kid texted the wrong number to ask for help with homework. It was a circuit problem, the kind they give you in highschool. So I helped out. I accidentally texted them just now because I was trying to text Rhodey.”

Pepper looked at him hard. It was the same exasperated calculating stare Tony had seen a million times over.

“Jesus,” She said after a moment, “you’re like a walking PR nightmare.”

Tony shrugged his shoulders in defeat. She had a pretty good point. But he wasn’t too concerned. Afterall, the kid didn’t know who he was, and Tony didn’t know who the kid was. 

Their most recent conversation would probably be their last conversation.

-

“Dude,” Peter squeezed through the after school hallway congestion.

Ned stood at his locker and gave Peter a toothy smile, “Hi.”

“Guess what just happened,” Peter said.

Ned said, “What?”

“Dude, guess!” Peter shook Ned’s shoulder.

Ned rolled his eyes but complied with a smile, “The roof caved in on Mrs. Little and her class is canceled for the rest of the year?”

“Not even close, dude. And don’t say stuff like that. I like Mrs. Little.”

Ned laughed and closed his locker. They walked down the steadily emptying hall together.

“What happened, then?” Ned asked, “Is it something to do with spider related activities?”

Peter sighed as he looked to the ceiling for dramatic effect, “No! Tony texted me.”

“Whoa,” Ned halted in his tracks, “why?”

Peter said, “He was trying to text someone he calls ‘Platypus.’ Then he threatened to ground me for texting while in class. But I think he was mostly joking. Maybe. It’s hard to tell through text. And he texts like an old man.”

“He probably is an old man.” Ned said, “He probably lied about trying to text someone else just to talk to you. You’re probably the first person he’s talked to in fifty years.”

“Ned, that is so not nice,” Peter said.

Ned said, “I’m just throwing theories out there.”

“Well, settle it down, MatPat, okay? I think it’s probably some old guy who - I don’t know  - worked in mechanical engineering or something. He’s probably some regular old dude,” Peter said.

Ned said, “Like I said, it’s just a theory-”

“Don’t,” Peter warned.

“-a game theory!”

“I don’t even know why I’m friends with you,” Peter smiled.

Ned sang, “It’s because you love me.”

“True,” Peter said.

They went their separate ways.

Peter usually walked home. When he was feeling spicy, he’d swing back to his apartment. But, especially as Spider-Man became more well known, Peter didn’t want to do something that risked giving his identity away.

He texted Tony.

peter: my friend thinks ur a sad old man texting me for company

A response, immediately.

tony: Your friend isn’t entirely wrong.

peter: thats concerning peter: do u have irl friends???

tony: Yes.

peter: thank god peter: i was about to be real sad

tony: Don’t worry about me, kid.

peter: i cant help it peter: u helped me wit my hw peter: now i owe u my life

tony: Any time, kid.

peter: whats with u calling me kid peter: how would u like it if i kept calling u old man

tony: I’ve been called worse.

peter: like what???? peter: i’ll fight them for u, old man

tony: Don’t. I deserved it most of the time.

peter: why?

tony: I wasn’t a good person when I was younger. I’m still fixing the mess I made in my early twenties.

peter: ppl r not their worst mistakes peter: u r so much more than what u have done wrong

tony: That’s surprisingly profound coming from someone who can’t be bothered to type out ‘you’.

peter: thank you

tony: Do you just like being difficult?

peter: yes peter: its part of my charm

-

The kid, Peter, wasn’t wrong. His aptitude for sarcasm and talking back was actually growing on Tony.  

There was something about the anonymity that made it easy for Tony to spill the feelings he kept from some of his closest confidants. Tony knew it was obvious, though. Rhodey, Pepper, and Happy - hell, maybe even a portion of the Avengers - knew that guilt ate away at him everyday. But, he never said it. Except for the times where he wanted to make a point. 

Tony found his thoughts coming back to Peter at hand. Then he stopped himself. There was no way that wherever this thing was going that it was going to be good.

But he found himself intrigued. And an intrigued Tony Stark might be the most dangerous Tony Stark there is.

The day passed by, but Tony’s thoughts were consistently drawn back toward Peter.

He ignored the gnawing for Peter’s sake. The last thing some random highschool kid needed was to be dragged into Tony’s neverending drama. But…

Tony: How was school?

A reply in an instant.

Peter: wow Peter: dad moment Peter: it was alright Peter: like i said the work is easy since i already know most of it Peter: just boring

Tony: I get what you mean. I skipped highschool and went straight to college.

Peter: no way Peter: ur fucking with me

Tony: Nope. It was horrible for my mental health.

Peter: how smart r u Peter: jesus Peter: i wouldnt survive one day in a college class

Tony: They’re not that hard. Surprisingly enough. Tony: It was just lonely being a child surrounded by adults.

Peter: sry to hear that Peter: did u want to go to college early?

Tony: No. But I didn’t really have much of a choice in the matter.

Peter: thats awful Peter: u shouldnt have been forced into it 

Tony: Don’t worry about it, kid. Seriously. Tony: I shouldn’t even be talking to you about this. It’s not like you’re my therapist.

Peter: do u have a therapist???

Tony: Yeah, but I don’t really go.

Peter: why

Tony: Too busy.

Peter: mental health is important Peter: go to ur therapy or i wont go to robotics class

Tony: You drive a tough bargain.

Peter: go to therapy or i will go feral

Tony: Now that’s a threat. Fine, kid, you win.

Peter: thank u

It was later that night, Tony found himself dangerously enamored. Though, Peter was an anonymous face behind a phone screen, Tony had really found himself coming to like that kid. It scared him to death, liking people. The people he liked tended to meet untimely ends. Tony didn’t do well with liking people.

His love bordered on obsession. More than most. Pepper, Rhodey, even Happy had all been at his lovebombing mercy before and none of them had been particularly fond of it. Tony knew if he were to do anything for this kid, Peter, then there would be no going back from it. That it would completely undo this weirdly beautiful thing they had going on.

Call Tony selfish, it wouldn’t be the first time, but he liked having someone to talk to who didn’t know him. Who didn’t put enormous expectations on him all the time. Someone like Peter, who seemed young and free, started to make Tony’s wings spread a little as well.

Can’t stop thinking about you, Tony sent, cringing when he realized how much of a creep that made him sound.

Peter: ur so sweet Peter: i bet u say that to everyone who accidentally texts u

Tony: Nope, just you.

Peter: what an honor

Tony’s curiosity got the better of him. Peter, it seemed, was a highschool student. Their conversations have illuminated Tony to the fact that, yeah, Peter is actually a genius. Tony doesn’t know much more than that. A friend named Ned, but no parents, and somewhat disadvantaged.

Tony could work with that. He commanded Friday to trace a phone he felt a familiar feeling. The kind of chilling stomach ache that warned him he was making an irreversible mistake.

“Found him, Boss,” Friday announced, multiple pictures appearing before Tony in an instant.

The blue light blinded him for a moment. He approached it. A small apartment in Queens. Tony smiled.

Friday said, “There’s something else of note.”

“Yeah, babygirl?”

“The local vigilante known as Spider-Man,” a few videos and pictures appear, “has been seen coming and going from this location. There is reason to suspect that Peter Parker may be Spider-Man.”

Tony stepped back. He examined all the data for a fault, but nope. It seemed concrete. The kid who texted him by accident, a one-in-a-million chance, just so happened to also be the web-slinging vigilante known as Spider-Man. 

Things just got much more interesting.

-

Peter was cleaning some dishes while May took a nap on the couch. His mind wandered back to the night’s text he received from Tony. Was Tony hitting on him? It seemed silly, but it wasn’t entirely implausible. Was it?

He told Ned about it and Ned gave him a side-eye while MJ snickered. It doesn’t matter what they think, Peter thought, okay, it kind of does. But they don’t understand what it’s like juggling being a good nephew, a good student, and a good Spider-Man. There’s a lot of responsibility Peter has been shouldering and this Tony guy feels like a breath of fresh air. He doesn’t know who Peter is, nephew, student, or Spider-Man. It’s nice talking to someone who doesn’t have any expectations for him.

There was a sharp knock on the door.

Peter turned toward it as May was roused from her sleep. She started to get up.

“I’ve got it, May.”

Her hair was a mess and her eyes narrowed in the freshly awake kind of way. She mumbled something as she sat up despite Peter’s protests.

Peter sighed and he opened the door. He looked up and opened his mouth, but the words died on his lips-

Oh, shit.

[streetscountbackward]

doing this challenge cz im bored (long post)

ignore the crap censoring i dont wanna get twordedddddd

day 1: your stats

5’5 and around 50kg right now :( lw was 49

day 2: how tall are you, do you like your height

my height is okay, could be worse but i wish i was 170cm+ instead of being a total manlet

day 3: a picture of your th1️⃣n$🅿️🅾️, what features do you like about this person

i saved these two on 📌terest the other day. theyve got muscle tone but are still noticeably pretty skinny which i like

day 4: your greatest fears about weight loss

my brain eating itself, having to quit running, refeeding syndrome/being hospitalised

day 5: why do you want to lose weight, are you doing it for you

i want to lose weight bcs im tired of being mad ugly and dont feel like i can be myself when im so fat. im doing it for me and for other people to like me 💯💯

day 6: do you binge, if so explain why you think you do

i binge because i get depressed and used to b/p but now i just try exercise it off. i dont binge super badly

day 7: do your parents know youre trying to lose weight? do they care?

they used to know i skipped meals but they got too suspicious so now i only skip lunch at school. theyre pretty oblivious to calories/what counts as restriction but my sister is on my ass about it sometimes

day 8: your workout routine

i run 25-30mins or do 30-35min interval runs three times a week. i go on a short walk every night. the other days it depends, most of the time i do flexibility stuff and those darebee workouts. usually only for 10-25 minutes. id like to workout way more but my family would definitely be able to hear me if i was doing like hour long hiit workouts in my room + the only ‘equipment’ i own is a set of dumbells

day 9: did people ever make comments about your weight in a negative way

nothing to my face that i remember but i know theyre thinking it/people have said things behind my back

day 10: whats the hardest thing you gave up during this weight loss

idk not having an 34t1ng Đ1$0rd3r was pretty neat

day 11: your favourite th1️⃣n$🅿️🅾️ blog

not blogs but @/emothlnspo and @/dailymalespo_ on twt!!

day 12: what do you normally eat

ive been eating like shit atm so nvm that but; ideally my limit is 1270 and i prefer to stay under 950. i try eat high protein but im vegan so its hard😭😭. breakfast is usually <100kcal, then lunch is usually 20-200, then i eat dinner with my family (why my limit is a little high cause i have no say in what we eat).

day 13: are you losing weight in a healthy or unhealthy way

im in a b/r cycle so im not losing weight or being healthy NEXT🚨🚨

day 14: whats your ugw, when do you expect to reach it

realistically: 35-38kgs, bmi 13s-14s ish?

unrealistically/if worse comes to worst: 26.8kg, bmi 9.9

i want to reach bmi 14 by this time next year atleast

day 15: are you vegan or vegetarian, if so has this helped you to lose weight

ive been vegetarian most of my life and only went vegan like 6 months ago. it definitely helps at times but theres a ton of vegan food around today so its not as useful as youd think necessarily 😭

day 16: when did you first decide to lose weight

i cant remember ever not wanting to lose weight

day 17: do you have an 3d

dont think i need to answer this one

day 18: what food is your weakness

sourdough + dried fruit + nuts 😭😭 theyre so gooooooood😭😭😭

day 19: when was the last time you ate fast food

YESTERDAY😭😭 it was only a salad from a fast food place tho

day 20: fav diet

high protein low everything else

day 21: what are your clothing sizes

i honestly dont know for jeans cause i always buy them bigger and just wear a belt but around w24 i think

otherwise xxs in fitted shirts usually and i think i fit a womens 6-8 (which is a USA 2-4 i think?). id probably fit a womens uk4 but ive never tried lolllllllll

day 22: what was your lowest weight, how and why did you gain

lw was 49kg and gained back to 50.8 cause someone was praying on my downfall idk

day 23: did the media play a role in you wanting to lose weight

duh

day 24: how do you feel about the terms pro-@n@ + pro-m1@

i think people dont know what they actually mean/where they came from. i say im not pr0 so i dont get sussed but really any 3d space is a pr0 space. i dont agree with promoting 3ds at all but i DO agree with having safe “pro-@|\|@“ spaces for people who have them

day 25: have you ever pvrg3d, if so describe your first experience

the first time i pvrg3d successfully was after my family got pizza. i stuck my fingers down my throat jumped up and down tried handsfree the whole shebang and eventually puked up most of it. had to scoop some of the lumps out of the shower drain and into the toilet. would not reccomend.

day 26: what excites you most about reaching your ugw

being skinny finally 🤤🤤

day 27: how do you deal with being around food

I DONT THATS WHY IM FAT

day 28: do you want a thigh gap, why

duh!!! i already have a tiiiinyyy one but i would love a big one. itd make me feel thin

day 29: your definition of beauty

i think everyone is beautiful especially if they are on the inside. for me though id like to be crazy skinny and toned (i would rather dieee than keep being skinnyfat i swear). clear skin, no stupid fat on my face and i wish my smile was different but i cant change that by losing weight so i guess im stuck. i kind of hate my eyebrows and my mouth. i think if my mouth was a little bigger and my eyebrows were a little lower id look okayish. is it weird to say i wish my teeth were smaller?? i have total bunny teeth. i wish my shoulders were wider and my eyes were less sunken in. etcetcetc

day 30: ten facts about you

1. im a natural blond even though i dye my hair darker

2. my dream job is to do music but that wont work out so either way i really want to make something of myself. i think id probably try go to medical school if i had the money.

3. ive never broken a bone except one or two toes

4. i want to travel the world some day but im scared of flying super far overseas and its expensive

5. i play guitar because i wanted to play drums but they were too loud and triple the price. im glad i couldnt play drums cause i like playing guitar now

6. my letterboxd top 4 are good will hunting, beautiful boy, ferris buellers day off, koyaanisqatsi

7. speaking of good will hunting, i love elliott smith

8. my favourite videogames are tony hawk pro skater and skyrim

9. i love lord of the rings and have done for like 8 years

10. im literally dogshit at both but i speak english and im learning two languages. ive been learning spanish for three years and polish for around three months

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

What happenes if/when allura shiro and lance meet in the shrödinger reality au? Theres do many ways this meeting could go wrong..........

Also shiro having a brother in this au is such an interesting plot point.. Shiro is slowly descending into madness by his memories halucinations and stuffing severed limbs into potted plants pots and kuro is like 'im so glad my brother has a new hobby:) hes been so passionate about gardening recently! I wonder what fertilizer is he using to make them grow this well.. also why is the floor do slippery nowadays'

and the answer turns out to be maybe-propably-not-real severed body parts

The way i see it (and i am basing this on vibes), that they didnt even notice or remembered. The way Lance's Thing works is that he 1) goes usually unnoticed, like pebbles on a road 2) even if you notice him, or talk to him, or he talks to you as long as you are not the one he's targetting (which rarely ever happens) they dont usually 'recognize' him. It is like how some animals dont recognize their own reflection, maybe some people would feel off about him, some people would be curious about him and some people would be able to notice and remember him (like that one doctor) but ultimately they wont be able to pinpoint what exactly is wrong just a constant feeling of wrongness. 3) they usually wont remember him. They might feel like they are forgetting something, or something is missing but usually they will forget about him.

However again the pebbles on road metaphor applies here. If you dont notice him, you just dont notice him, if you had one passing glance, you'll forget about him instantly, if you noticed him, talked to him, examined him, you are more likely to notice some details meaning you would realize that Something is Wrong, meaning you will remember him for a bit longer.

Which is how i feel Lance's first meeting with Shiro and Allura is going to go. They wont notice him, or recognize him, or remember him. I imagine there's some serial killer case both Allura and Shiro got dragged into with Allura was a witness (she was trying to understand wth us going on and trying to understand this world and oh shit that person just attacked someone) and Shiro kinda being a suspect cause he's being odd according to his friends, and Lance who has decided that he can do a better detective job than the cops (and he's 100% right) and also he thinks said serial killer is the one who 'killed' him. They do meet Lance and because they do remember or have dreamt Lance from their vld timeline, they are able to notice something is off about that guy, but they lose track of him and they kinda forget about him but do keep getting this nagging feeling that they forgot something important

Allura and Shiro do not get along at first. Allura who remembers Everything is like "Shiro? Shiro! Shiro it is you!! It's me Allura!! Oh thank voltron and guardian i found you this world is so strange and a total fake" and Shiro who has been trying to suppress his dreams for past few months is like- "Who tf are you??? I dont know who are you or what this voltron is but please stay away from me" (<=lying). And like Allura who was so desperate to have traces of her old life back, started to pretty much like trying to reach out to him (aka pester him). Eventually Allura is able to convince him that, yeah she indeed is both girl in his dreams but also real and Real af, and while he does Not believe her, he is also just so tired of the paranormal bs he is dealing with and if this Weird stalker lady can help him than on god he's taking that help.

And yep (in my mind his brother is Kuron) and while he doesnt show it, he is Very worried about Shiro. He reasons that he is just coping with his accident and dealing with loss of his arm and dream job and the Trauma™ (and technically he isnt wrong) but he can also tell this is something beyond That. However he has decided that he'll give Shiro space, let him come to him on his own, be supportive and strong and smiley for him. But yeah he's glad that Shiro is getting into a new hobbies, even if he is too into it sometimes.

[sburbian-sage]

Hey again! Gm here with some good news, turns out im in a scratched session?

Never heard of those before this but i was just kinda exploring around before i felt a god awful pain and a fucking meteor came out of my eye (sorry if this is a bit out of tone for normal im rather drunk atm because who wee is this session a doozy)

Turns out the four player session that was before mine? (Still reading on how this all works)

All clowns

All 4

Hahahaha fuck me dude

Dont know whats up with the duo dungeon shit but one of thems a clown of mist and it opens with them there so like maybe its theirs?

In total i have a clown of space, time, mist, and heart

Im just utterly flabbergasted by this session man

Apparently my eye was replaced by one of them with some mini version of their session or some shit? Im just so at a loss

Denizen spawned in as soon as they arrived and it looks like things are mostly on track

God im gonna need another drink

Heart clown says my shiny is "all motherfuckin in a bad state in this bitch" which like who fuckjng knows dude im two minutes from laughing until i cry

Looks like they finished getting their planets set up and their apparently planning a concert on derse to and i quote "piss off those motherfuckin squid bitches by blasting some righteous music"

Jegus im gonna need to up that berry mead to berry moonshine at this rate

I am glad you are alive groovyMoonbird, because I am pretty convinced at this point that god wants you dead.

I was also going to reccomend you cut back on the drink, but if you somehow ended up with four Clowns, I can't ethically ask you to do that. I will merely float the suggestion that you ask them if the "four Clowns" thing was intentional on their part, and if so, make them swear never to do it again. But for now I think you've gotta ride the wave. "Ride the wave" in the sense that Clowns are a broken class, so they should be able to start putting in some serious work, and "ride the wave" as in play things by ear and get ready to reel things in, because Clowns are a broken class and you might need to stop them from breaking the entire session. If this is a Scratched Session, you don't really get to have a second chance.

Speaking of which, while learning about Scratched Sessions and the Infinity Mechanism is a worthwhile venture, I'm just going to tell you up-front that I'm pretty sure none of it will help you right now. Too many variables are off-kilter, you're in Clown Country right now.

[obxsprincess]

heyy girl, how are u? i know ive been kinda missing but i might need your advice on something bc im very confused and unsure (and my friends are being kind of unhelpful bitches lol

So, im in college right? and theres a lot of fraternities around, and I met this guy, a friend of a friend, and he lives in a fraternity.

So far so good right? We kinda flirted with each other for a few days until a party last night where we finally hooked up (i was drunk but everyone said it was pretty hot :)) but i had to leave bc my roomate was very sick so i never got to talk to him abt anything else basically. And my friend said tomorrow they'll have a small party to celebrate a bday on that fraternity, and everyone keeps saying i should lose my virginity to this guy (ik shocking im a virgin), but the thing people dont understand is that i get attached very quickly and to me our kiss basically locked in, so im kinda nervous ill get attached and he wouldnt want anything serious w me

Reading it back it feels kinda dumb but specially for people on campus and SPECIALLY on fraternities is very rare for u to get kinda together w someone so quick, so I DUNNO WHAT TO DO

- 💋

hiii babes, ofc ofc im always here to help!! and remember not even my opinion should persuade you into anything, cus I can only go off of my own experiences with virignity loss and hook ups 💞 but I hope my insights helpful!!

I lost my virginity at 16 back in high school (a long time ago and not at all saying ur guy is like this ! cus he probably isnt! especially cus hes an adult so I hope to fucking hell he isn’t) and it definitely happened very fast and quick, texted for a few days, made out, and then met up to have sex. in summary it ended with my nudes being leaked around the school and almost a felony on my name (for sending them?) but the thing ive took out of it (and only reason for the story, im srry cus I was so young so it might seem weird to include) n held close is to remember trust is one of the most important parts of sex really! because your putting your pleasure and body into someone elses hands, but also your emotional trust because sex is so much more than just getting physical for a few minutes, and its important to remember that the lingering thoughts shouldn’t ever be negative, or the guy broke the trust you put in him. truly the after sex reaction is just as important as being taken care of during. in my experience, because I didnt know the guy well, I went into it blind not knowing what I total asshole he was.

and trust, in my eyes, means knowing you’ll be treated right afterwards no matter what, even without a relationship basic aftercare if the bare minimum. and to me it doesn’t seem like you are convinced he’ll do that for you ! so pls pls be careful 💞 who knows ! he might be an amazing guy but if you arnt ready to take that step yet, don’t ! because the good ones are always willing to wait. I would say text him/talk to him in person if you have to too. because and I’m hoping not but you never know, his and your friends might have ‘talked’, and sex might be on his mind too. so if you feel comfortable, get on the same page with him with whatever you decide angel !! you deserve to lose your virginity and be glowing afterwards, its so much better than regretting it 💗 whether u choose to get to know him better or lose your virginity to him, stay safe bby and use safety <3 (pls make sure to discuss possible STD history on his side too btw !)

hope this helped a little love, love you and never let anyone pressure you please, cus fuck that

[unabashedlyinlove]

Are TW's live demo as great as AAs say?

I keep hearing from Goob, Dot and co how TW's live demo numbers are great and how instead of using Total Number of Viewers, Nexstar is going to use Demo ones as the parameter for renewals this time around. I am not a tv expert, but I am here to debunk them (and for free). Tw's demo numbers are not great. At least not as a progression. These people used it as a face value instead of a variable that it is. Having the 0.12, 0.10 or 0.9 by itself doesnt mean much in the grand scheme of things if you dont use total number of viewers as you second variable. Let me explain why and do the mathing that they're not doing so people won't know that what they are saying -and some paying to hear about it - is wrong. Before the math: 

What's demo? Demo is short for demographics. It is a segment of a total number of viewers separated by a specific criteria. Ex: You can have demos by location (cities/states/countries), ages and more.

Generally, media outlets report the 18-49 demo. That means the percentage of the total number of viewers watching a show ranging from the ages of 18 to 49 years old. Why this range? After much research done by reliable Marketing Agencies, it is proven that this coveted segment has disposable income to spend. 18-49 is not the only demo and not all advertisers target only 18-49, but a sizable number of them do.

When reported, demo numbers are represented from 0.0 to 1.0 - that means from 0 to 100%. So if you see 0.04 or 0.17, they mean 4% and 17%, respectively.  

Here an example of how numbers are reported. This was the table for shows aired on January 26th. For this post, we are looking at the numbers under the Finals column 

Source

A quick reading shows us that Walker had 757K as a total and 0.10 of demo, meaning 10% of the total viewers were in the 18-49 range.

Now, lets see the numbers for TW according SpoilerTV:

These numbers are from episodes 1 to 8. For last night's episode:

Now, for the math, I am doing it only for the premiere and last night episodes cause tahts what's relevant.

Premiere = 12%(0.12) of 781k = 93,720 people in the 19-48 demo

Last night = 6%(0.06) of 347k (9 oclock slot the new episode) = 20,820 people in the 19-48 demo

So from the premiere to last night TW:

Lost 434k in total numbers which represents about 55% loss;

Lost almost 73k in 18-49 demo, representing a whopping loss of about 77%.

So tell me how the demo numbers can support their theory that TW is going to be renewed when it is an even higher loss than total viewers numbers?

Unless the information in this post is accurate and NextStar will renew it due to contractual obligations with WB not because of number, then the renewal would make sense, but it wouldnt be because its presenting positive numbers.

Fun fact: Using TFW2.0 post info still about why TW is being double featured on Tuesdays, not even with stacking the show in consecutive slots helped the network reach the minimum impressions CW/NextStar sold their advertisers (sold minimum 750k but the actual impressions number was 633k for last night).

That was long, Im so sorry! lol

[ratgingi]

hey leans on expensive car full of cool shiny things care to tell me bout that guy i see :3c

grabs you frothing at thw mputh and shaking. boy do i

probably will include spoilers for the game/series hes from idk im going insane over here

but his name is ukyo hes from an otome game c (and anime but the game came first and is my fav) named amnesia: memories

hes so wet and sad and is constantly In A Situation and is so dear to me. amnesia memories was like. the first serious dating-sim-type-game i ever really played and i was drawn to him from the very start like before i even knew anything about him i met him in the game for like 2 seconds and was like oh. you are everything to me

SPOILERS AHEAD BIG SPOILERS BIG SPOILERS

its been a hot minute since i played but frm my memory: hes the original boyfriend for the girl you play as, who dies toward the end of august in a fire, and hes so sad and despressed and fucked up about it that he wishes so hard to bring you back that a god is like Holy Shit sir i am so sorry here let me help you and slings him into a reality where youre still alive. HOWEVER. he does not belong to those realities so the world is Actively Trying To Kill Him. and every time bc he doesnt Belong There youre dating someone else and he has to just kinda watch. and eventually he eats shit and dies and every time the god is like oh fuck oh shit brings him back and slings him into another reality to try again. rinse and repeat a bunch of times and eventually his brain literally splits into two in a desperate attempt at self preservation and this second half (called uraukyo) constantly is trying to kill you. this is because if You die, He will get to live since it makes room for him in that reality or something of that sort . and that makes omoteukyo really fuckin Stressed obviosuly because he loves you so dearly and trying to keep you alive is the reason hes doing this shit in the first place

so hes constantly trying to ensure you the player survive past the date youre supposed to die (becayse you are Destined To Die no matter what. the entire month of august the world is trying to kill you and hes saving you nearly every time and every time he does the world tries Even Harder to nerf you) and eventually the god runs out of power to send him to a new timeline. and is like ok. new plan. this is your Last Chance bozo i cant fuckin help anymore and sends him back in time in his original timeline before you die so he can try and save you

because if you can make it past august in his original timeline, you both get to live

its important to note that this entire time a spirit named orion is like Fused with your consiousness (you find out later this is meant to help protect you or smth, but even He doesnt know that) amd bc of this youve got No Fucking Clue about literally anhthing you have total memory loss and are just having to pretend its fine and you dont bc you and orion decide that you cant trust anyone and if you get sent to a hospital bc the memory loss is bc of Him itll only get Worse if you guys arent activrly out trying to revive it

also ukyo is totally aware of all of this bc orion is the helper of the god whos helping ukyo

ALSO he actively says he does not care if he seems creepy (bc he does a lot of things that make him seem stalkerish/like he knows too much, he warns you of upcoming events since he knows the world will try to kill you there, he knows your schedule and your friends bc again he used to Date You, etc etc its bc of the timeloop shit and all that) and he doesnt care if you hate him he just wants to ensure you live its so sad

im like delusional hes just so sad and miserable and deserves everything good that exists ok