#I dont know how succesful those are though

[druidonity2]

Started building a pride themed den and here is what I've got so far! (Just bought the bi pride dragon and she cost me all the gems I had ;w; <3 worth it. I really need to figure out how people make gems in this game cuz all I do is sell fodder)

[hopeididntscareyou]

As much as it hard to believe, I actually don't think about love, sex and all that life drama I usually talk about on here. The only reason i talk about these topics on here is because 1.) i dont trust anyone, i am my own bestfriend, i find that when i open up to ppl they always find a way to sabotage me. 2.) compared to my other stress relievers such as gaming, music and studying, my relationship issues don't really require a lot of mental energy because its all common sense. Other than that i have to deal with all these robotic bullshit on a daily basis.

These days I am so preoccupied with making money because I have been struggling to get a second job, which is quite depressing because I really don't understand why i cant get the fucking job when all these retarded workers could get it. But whatever, they don't know they're missing out on such an excellent employee like me. Its their loss.

Right now I am just focusing on what I have and honestly i'm quite happy that my gigs make me busy and keeping my cash flows. I am motivated to make money for the purpose of solving my problems - its not because im trying to live luxury like most people do. I still strongly believe that money is abundant, that it shouldn't be something more important than people who loves you. i hate those greedy motherfuckers who prioritize money than their family. Also, i am greatly influenced by one of my favorite philosophers, Henry David Thoreau, who was the OG of minimalism and simple living with nature. Society is crumbling because it keeps on pushing us to be greedy about things that we don't really need. I actually don't even think i need anything else in my life right now. I wake up acting like I already have all my needs met, call me delusional but i dont care. Its all within myself. Thats how I manifest my reality and the universe just follows. That being said, I have been always a business minded person ever since I was young. Its not because I cared too much about money but its more because I'm under the dark triad spectrum, that makes me more inclined to be motivated and succesful when it comes to getting profits.

I know i talked about some crazy shit not long ago about hooking up with some guy but quite frankly I dont even have time for him, im pretty much ignoring people on my snapchat and instagram right now because I dont feel like they are helpful with me chasing the checks at all, it just infuriates me how they waste so much of my time. i feel like talking/entertaining people who are interested in me is fruitless because its not like I have onlyfans. Honestly if i have onlyfans i would probably be rich right now because of the amount of simps i have both online and offline 😭 even though it seems pretty logical and smarter to do onlyfans, it just feels so wrong to me. as a person with strong beliefs, i just dont want to be associated with such a platform that is harmful for both men and women. i honestly dont know why i care for the humanity sometimes. but then again its probably just to feed my narcissism so in some ways i'm still cheating on my redemption

[not-a-big-slay]

Until it doesn't hurt

kaz brekker x reader

summary: betrayal leaves some wounds behind, but even more questions when you can't figured out from whom it really came from.

warnings: none really...

A/N: hey yall, im back with my shit! im so sorry that this came out late, but i was very busy, like very busy, so i apologize. also wanted to clarify that i havent read the king of scars duology, so i dont really know the story line in that one. i went with Nina burying Matthias in Fjerda and then coming back home. if its too far from the og plot, feel free to comment or dm me and explain it briefly :)) also any constructive critisism is welcome. if you wanna get updated, say so in the comments. enjoy :))

part: 2/?

previous part: part 1

next part: part 3

masterlist

Nina knew exactly when she stepped into the Barrel. It's like there was an invisible line around it. Surroundings suddenly go quiet, the fresh smell of the sea changes into a stink of dry blood and smoke and fear rises up. It seems like everyone is looking at her, thinking about how to rob her or something worse. In Fjerda, no one spared a glance on her. The atmosphere is different in The Barrel, it seemed like a country on it's own.

It's been a while since the last time she walked these streets. Nothing has changed except her. She pulled her coat closer. She felt the same way she felt on her first day here. Scared and helpless. No one cared about anyone if it doesn't bring them profit. Nina was actually convinced people here just hated everyone. The only thing different from her first time was that behind this fear was a feeling of nostalgia, even happiness. She was excited see old Ketterdam as a new woman.

And first thing she would do was to visit the most dangerous person she knew.

A hot air hit her as she opened the door to the Crow Club. A familiar walls welcomed her back. A sound of laughter filled her ears and she smiled as all the fear dissapeared.

Well hello

Nina knew Kaz would be one of two places. The Slat or The Crow Club. She knew they wouldn't probably let her just walk in the home of the Dregs even though she is still one of them. So the latter was her clear choice. And she also wanted to surprise him, so there was an advantage.

She looked for a familiar faces while making her way to the office that used to belong to Per Haskell. Nina liked to think about their heist. She used to have nightmares about it, especially about Matthias, but now that she properly buried him on his home grounds, she felt comfort. The heist was succesful in many ways and she thought about those.

She opened the office door only a bit, however she still saw his back turned on the door. Nina congratulated herself for choosing this location first. It would be annoying to leave this place and go to The Slat. Quietly as possible, she entered the room and closed behind her. Kaz didn't seem alarmed. He was sitting on a chair, facing the wall across from the door, reading something. Could be a book Nina sarcastically thought. She breathed in air to say something.

,,Hello, Nina.''

Nina changed her mind about speaking and letted out a sigh as she watched him stand up and turn to her. She looked at him for the first time in what felt like a decade.His face gained another wrinkle and a new scar on his cheek, his eyes even more filled with greed. But overall, he was the same boy she have met 3 years ago. His face not showing any emotion, his hair still falling into his view and his lips probably still haven't turned up. She actually used to think he lacked the side of lip muscles and couldn't actually smile, but only talk.

,,You ruined your surprise, did you know that?" she stated, sitting on the other chair opposite of him. Her hands grabbed the sides of her coat and riped it open. It was hot inside. He sat back down, now facing her. Nina noticed the moment he faced her, but now, she confirmed it. His hands were bare.

No gloves.

,,How did you enjoy Fjerda?" he asked. Nina knew that small talk wasn't his thing, but she also didn't know how to start a conversation. ,,It was nice. How are you enjoying the five million kruge?" she smirked, taking her coat off. She imagined what he'd done with it. ,,Has Inej visited?"

He studied her for a moment. She felt uncomfortable as his eyes ran down her whole being. He found her eyes after his examination and said: ,,No, she hasn't yet. I bought her a boat, so she can hunt slavers and I'd be dissapointed if she's not doing exactly that."

Kaz said it simply, yet Nina was staring at him with a half-open mouth. This was neither of the ways she imagined. A strand of her hair brought her back and she closed her mouth. Kaz still didn't show any type of emotion. He looked bored almost.

,,I don't think you came here to visit me, Nina. What business?"

This I missed she thought, lightly smiling. She came back into her character. ,,I bring you some information." she leaned forward, placing her elbows onto the table. He slightly frowned. He was interested. Nina continued: ,,Without Inej here I think you might wanna know about a new visitor in The Barrel."

Kaz raised his eyebrows and she knew what that meant. There were many new visitors in The Barrel everyday, so why would this concern him?

,,I know what you're thinking, but she's not just some tourist who wandered off of Geldrenner Hotel, because she wanted to explore. She's here on some business." Nina leaned back in the chair as if she just said the combination to the most guarded safe in the world. She never meant to give Y/N up, but a newbie having so called business in The Barrel didn't sound like a friendly visit. It might be nothing, however one can't be too sure. In her interest, she thought, it should be nothing.

Kaz shifted his gaze from her, onto the table and then on the wall behind her, thinking. Nina didn't care what he will do with this information. She actually wanted to just visit him, but couldn't give him the pleasure of being liked. She really looked forward to visit them all, knowing Jesper and Wylan would welcome her warmly. Inej not being here was something she expected, but was quite sad nonetheless. She missed her the most.

Kaz looked back at her after a moment and nodded: ,,Thank you." Nina nodded back. It was all she would get from him, so she got up and took her coat from the back of the chair. Before she reached for the doorhandle, Kaz spoke again: ,,They're in Van Eck's mansion."

Nina turned back at him. He was already busy with some papers, not looking at her at all. Of course he knew she would visit them. She smiled, turning to face the door again and reached for the handle. In moments, she was outside and didn't spare a breath. Her feet walked the way to the mansion. It was getting late and with a bit of luck, Wylan would let her sleep over. With a bit more luck, she could even surprise them.

She crossed the East Stave and looked around, catching a familiar figure far from her. Maybe he wont care she thought, smiling as Y/n dissapeared from her view.

She better wish he wont.

[pianostarinwonderland]

aaaaaa azul giving up his life for reader to be happy 😭😭😭 though i never thought of it before 😂😂😂 probably cause i dont want azul to die, i love that octopus boy too much hes been through a lot 😔😔😔 but anyways!

azul as we know him isnt the type to give up that easily right? he’s been holding on to those feelings for years while working on to gain his reputation as a succesful restaurant manager, fearsome mafia boss, and becoming just as powerful as the legendary sea witch! hes not ready to let them go yet, hes a pretty greedy guy after all

but if the deal has to be made, then its either he does resurrect reader’s beloved for free OR instead of marrying azul, reader will just work under azul for eternity, sounds good right?

though there are many possible outcomes to how their story will end 😏😏😏

i already have a happy ending in mind for reader and azul but i cant help but think of the sad end route where reader realizes that even if their beloved will be resurrected its not like they’ll love reader back anyway so they tell azul to forget the contract, and forget them altogether and part ways, yet azul frustatingly refuses to to do so cause “i lost you once, and im not gonna lose you again”

yet reader is no where to be seen again…reader then lives somewhere far away, spending the rest of their life alone, grieving what could have been….

I don’t want Azul to die but .. …. There’s gotta be a consequence for resurrecting the dead, after all

I was thinking of making reader work for Azul for ‘eternity’ haidksjdjdjjd and then that way, we see uh the lover ending up with some other person and reader is just heartbroken like ‘I gave up so much for you and you treat me like this ???’ </3 poor reader

Ayo wtf is that sad ending 🗿 reader what the fack why don’t you accept Azul why don’t you accept Azul damn iiiiiiiiiiiit

Me gripping reader chan) I’m the fucking reader and I want my happy end so go back to Azul and ACCEPT HIM <3 I’LL SHOW YOU A REAL HAPPY ENDING FOR PETE’S SAKE

[kraniumverse]

Please imagine jay as spamtoj, jay has already been a gaudy show host type guy twice now.

I HAVE IMAGINED. AND IT IS EXTENSIVE.

spoilers for spamton lore of course

my mind went to this immediately if you had another thing in mind please tell me because i want every possible configuration of this LMAO

-the ninja as the addisons

-all very popular and succesful

-jay never had any luck. he was the least liked, if he was acknowledged at all. too loud, too annoying, he tries too hard

-he always wished he could be as successful as his teammates... or even more so...?

-he received a phone call. and his wishes were granted

-it was gradual. as gradual as a week can be

-people started to notice him. to look out for him. to ignore the others for him

-suddenly he was very succesful! he was so happy! are they proud now?!

-they couldn't believe it. he was finally getting the recognition he deserves

-...why?

-they were all jealous.

-but they were happy for him! of course they were! so they hid their feelings

-jay basically spoiled them, giving them gifts he couldnt previously afford, took them out somewhere expensively nice to eat... but he was busy. very busy. their hang outs started to be less frequent. he did try to make space for them though!

-when they were alone without him... kai was the most vocal about his distaste of his sudden success. lloyd, zane and nya tried to defend him, saying that he deserved it. and cole... he agreed with kai, but kept out of their discussions most of the time

-jay didn't notice anything. he was overjoyed. numbers on the rise, the voice on the phone is helping him and he has his friends on his side<3

-he brags about it though, thinks the others notice he's half joking and never fully serious

-they don't

-they started making excuses to avoid hanging out with him. kai first, nya last

-he figured it out once the others straight up told him no

-there was a big fight. kai did most of the talking. well, shouting. things he didn't mean, things he did. jay looked around to find support, but they all averted his gaze

-he was left alone, but his success was still rising

-so, who needs them, right?

-gone from salesman to full on show host! good for him!

-not for long, we know that, dont we?

-the day his show was cancelled, they all went to check on him, even kai. because they still cared for him, and after the fight, they realised they could work it out

-and they probably could, if they would've found him. but there was no one

-he lives in a dumpster, his clothes are ragged and dirty, his hair is unkempt. bottom of the barrel

-I AM SO GONNA DRAW THIS, AM I? FUCK

-i think his look would be like, big shot era is him in his show host suit from s4 and jay neo inspired by superstar rockin jay

-because yes. theres gotta be jay neo. because spamton neo is my beloved and i want to think about him more

-also like i dont know how this au could work lmao. like are all of them like, legit addisons? or like. just humanoid enough. deltarne world? ninjgo world? um Yeah im not gonna think about this too hard im sick lets just say One Of Those Aus Were There's Self Contained Thoughts And Nothing More

[popculturebuffet]

Top 20 Animated Episodes of 2020 Part 1 (#20-#11)

Hello Hello Hello animation fans! And welcome to something i’ve wanted to since last year. See I had the idea for a best episodes list back in 2019: rather than do a best shows list, which would be only about half of 20+ shows anyway, I thought i’d do a best episode lists: to give as many shows a possiblitiy to shine as possible while still honoring the best of the year. But my own natural foibles got the better of me: I INSISSITED on watching everything I missed.. then just kept putting THAT off until it was was spring, shows were coming back and I just threw up my hands. I’ve regretted it ever since and vowed, especially since in the interim animation went from just being something I analyized for fun to my analyzing it for fun AND profit, to get it done this year.  So I had to make a few caveats. First I gave myself at first till the 31st of the year and then due to covid and everything that happened, until the end of the first week or so of the year, i.e. today, to watch as much as I could. So several shows are missing. Some I REALLY got behind on and don’t have an excuse for (Craig of the Creek and Big City Greens), others I also really liked but my depression made it really hard to watch (F is for Family and very nearly Bojack), some I just kept putting off ever starting or forgot to start entirely (Hilda, yes even since season 1, Kipo: Age of the Wonderbeasts and It’s Pony) and some.. I gave up because as you can tell I sit on shows way too often (Ilve action wise I still need to get back to Doom Patrol), and I realized i’d rather watch stuff old and new I care about than waste time with something that I just stopped liking, i.e. Rick and Morty and Big Mouth which i’m guaranteed some flack for saying but I dont’ care. I have my reasons, and while I originally GAVE those reasons I decided to leave them out: this list is not about me bitching about why I quit certain shows. I’m a grown ass man, I can quit a show anytime, and given last year was such a craphole, I think we could use less piss and vinegar and more sugar.  So before we begin, a bit about the state of animation last year: It was in flux. WIth a new decade dawning we got great new shows like Owl House, Close Enough, which in a year full of terrible suprises not only FINALLY got released but did so with a second season order, Solar Opposities, the Midnight Gospel and Kipo: Age of Wonderbeasts. Ducktales returned for it’s best season ever. Amphibia returned for a pretty good season. Disney brought back the wonderful mickey mouse shorts towards the end of the year, FINALLY given D+ some non-movie animated content. The Casagrandes got better as it went and just barely didn’t make this list and the Loud House kept on trucking and shows no signs of stopping with a season renewal and a movie coming out. And Adventure Time staged a comeback a few years after it died and while I haven’t seen BMO yet, Obsidian was fantastic and only barely didn’t make the list. 

Not only that but we got   great new series announced for the next two years: Lumberjanes is FINALLY getting adapted and by Noelle Stevenson herself. Gendy Tarkovsky is not only returning to children’s animation but with a wonderously weird concept about immortal unicorns turned into teens> There’s a promising show about a ghost and a plucky tween coming this summer. The Rise of the TMNT movie is still happening. Craig McCracken is also coming back.  But naturally given this was 2020 the news wasn’t all good as we said goodbye to a lot of shows.. and this was after 2019 already took several from us, OK KO still being the hardest loss to this day and Star Vs very disapointing finale still leaving a bad taste in my mouth: Most gutpunchingly, the two frontrunners of animation at the time, shows that truly changed the game and probably gave other shows a chance at life they never would’ve had, including some on this list, ended. 

Steven Universe took it’s final bow after we got one last trip to beach city with the Future miniseries, with the show ending gracefully and beautifully, and having pulled off it’s third succesive possible ending for the franchise and it’s defntive ending for steven’s story. Bojack did the same not long before, ending on a bittersweet but beautiful note and with a one two punch of the series best episode and i’ts second best episode, a satsifying but bittersweet finale we’ll get to. Both shows as I said have set hte standards and tones for most animation after them, and both’s absence is felt.  She Ra suprisingly ended, though with a beautiful and wonderful finale we’ll, again, get to, and on i’ts own terms, but given it was the most likely to take up the shield from steven, it was another punch. Less peacefully was the ending of Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a show I caught up on after it’s demise which was screwed by the network over toy sales because that’s.. still.. a thing. 

There is a light of hope, as the movie is somehow still in production and if it does well we may get season 3, but it’s dim and given the show, despite it’s flaws, had found itself and the finale, which they were given weeks to put together, was spectacular and, say it with me now “we’ll get to that”, I really hope it does. And that nick learns how to run an animation company for fuck’s sake. 

Infnity Train while not dead, is on life support despite having it’s best season in season 2 and an okay season that still tackeled racisim very well even if story wise the season faltered, at a time when we REALLY need to tackle racisim in our entertaiment period. Venture Bros meanwihle was just flat out canceled for no given reason despite both having as eason renewal order and you know, being Adult Swim’s highest rated and best show for over a decade. Like Infinity Train and Rise there’s a SCRAP of hope, both adult swim and hbo max are apparently looking into ways to bring it back so a finale movie or a season 6 comic are propable, but given the show ended on two big cliffhangers, and given 2020 already had pushed back a LOT of things I’d looked forward to for good reason, and had now just outright killed a show, it was a massive shattering blow and easily the biggest of the year.  But coming VERY close was finding out Ducktales was ending. While the finale would serve as a proper finale, I feel the show easily could’ve had more seasons.. Disney just dosen’t let shows go on forever, or sometimes not even for a reasonable amount.. or put those shows it didn’t let go on a resonable amount on Disney Plus.. and I will be bringing that last part up until Wonder Over Yonder is FINALLY put on the platform, along with MANy other shows. Figure it out.  But yeah that was ANOTHER show I thought would lead the way and like Gravity Falls lead to Ducktales, Ducktales will probably lead to more shows including HOPEFULLY a frank and matt lead Darkwing Duck.. and even that’s in jeapordy since instead it might be done by Seth Rogan’s company who while not bad people and if their working on Frakn’s reboot great.. are not the people who spent three seasons setitng up a reboot in a unvierse they already spent three seasons deftly crafting. I DOUBT Frank won’t be involved since Let’s Get Dangerous was promoted to hell and back, but again given this is disney.. it worries me and I won’t be settled on this till we get conformation of a proper reboot with frank and matt at the helm. 

Point is it was a rough year for animatoin even without covid taken into account pushing back seasons and forcing a change in work habits. But as this list attests even in the worst year in recenet memory, here’s hoping 2021 dosen’t say hold my beer, there was some damn fine animation, including some of the best i’ve ever seen and the shows that did leave or are getting ready to gave us one hell of a show. Before we get started one last bit of buisness for transparency: As I said i missed some shows and others I did watch but given despite this list’s sheer size it was still VERY tight, for the record each show got four nominees a piece, and some had even more episodes considered before widdling it down, and even at the 40 episode mark there were some tough cuts and by the end it was brutal. So here’s the show’s considered. 

Shows Watched: Steven Universe Future, Infinity Train, Close Enough, She Ra, Ducktales, Amphibia, The Loud House, The Casagrandes, Rise of the TMNT, Animaniacs, Wonderful World of Mickey Mouse, Adventure Time: Distant Lands, Solar Opposites, Bojack Horseman, The Owl House, The Midnight Gospel Shows That Did Not Make the Final List: The Loud House, The Casagrandes, Animaniacs, The Wonderful World of Mickey Mouse, Adventure Time: Distant Lands, and Solar Opposites.  Final note: all episode’s i’ve done reviews of at the time of this list will have links in the title to said reviews in case your curious So with that in mind , here’s my top 20 list, part 1.. becasue these posts are going to be long as hell so I needed to split up gang. On with the show after the cut as this is a really damn long one

20. Fragments (Steven Universe Future) “I bow to your strength.. my Diamond”  Steven Unvierse’s final act was a masterstroke. The show ended with every major conflict resolved as the Diamonds decided , if only for Steven’s sake at first, to change their ways and helped him restore the corrupted gems, while Lars made it home. Our heroes were FINALLY, after seasons and almost two in-story years, as Steven “Finally Done, Finally Us, Finally Me”, the last part being especially pogniant since, while done thanks to a horrifying action on whites part, his breif seperation PROVED there was nothing of rose left; She’s gone.  So Future uses this cleverly: With the conlfict of the movie resolved things were still very nice.. but eventually Steven started breaking down piece by piece: As the series went on it became clear what it was: A deconstuction of some of the less healthy part of the mostly fairly healthy and wonderful main show. It showed just what happen when someone whose put his identity into having some kind of destiny, someone whose felt their purpose in life is to make other people’s better and solve their problems and be a good person.. has no issues to solve. Oh sure there’s an antagonist here and there and Jasper refuses to change or admit no third great gem war is coming and that peace really has come.. but his family are finally happy with who they are, and are moving on with their lives. As someone whose had people move on without them and whose clunt to people this hits close to home.. hits close to home a lot. 

So as the season went on Steven clung to everything, taking it VERY badly when Lars and Sadie not only revealed their attempt at a relationship failed after years of build up, and never told steven because they thought it wasn’t his buisness, which is true to a point as them breaking up isn’t anything to do with him but someone should’ve told him it was amicable given the amount of shit he’s seen between you two, just saying. But it still meant a good chunk of his friends leaving town, and him, behind. Attempts to fillt his gap with tv watching or gardneing, aka what the crew amazingly dubbed “Depression Hobbies:”, a term that hits close to home, failed and then a far WORSE attempt to fill the void in his life by proposing to connie failed.. she turned him down firmly, but gently recognizing this was a terrible idea, they were too young, and he was clearly going through some stuff. As garnet put it “Your partner is your compliment, not your missing piece”. Another beautiful term to stick in my brain. 

So as if this wasn’t bad enough his body started mutatating and it turned out the pink form he’d gained was actually supposed to just be his body’s version of adrenline, but since he’d spent years in constnat struggle, his body was treating his emotinal stress like do or die situations with predictable results. We’ll get to that more in a bit but needless to say steven’s family were concerned and Greg returned from managing Sadie to TRY and help his son.. only to drive a wedge between them as Greg’s Smothering Parents seemed like the life Steven never had, instead of obnoxious people who refused to reconcile with their son even decades later despite plenty of effort on greg’s end and Greg having to raise a child alone with only marginal support from the gems at best at first. But Greg’s tragic inablity to see his son was hurting, as with everyone elses lead to him nearly getting them hurt in a car accident and thus this episode.  After getting chewed out by the gems, who tragically simply don’t realize what’s wrong with steven, can’t figure out why themselves and he refuses to tell them, Steven runs off, to the one person who would never tell the gems where he is and the last place they’d expect him to go at his lowest: Jasper. And thus we get one of the darkest and moodiest episodes of the show’s long history. 

After having lost a lot of his sense of peace of mind: his best friends are gone, his girlfriend is next, his parents and sister are constantly busy, there’s no one for him to turn to. Steven NEEDS someone like him and while his family is trying they just don’t know how to reach him and deep down he dosen’t WANT them to. Like me at times, shocker I know, he fears deeply that if they knew some of the flaws about him, some of the problems he’s had, they’d hate him. When as time would bear out for both of us, as my first stint of therapy near the end of colllege proved, it just means they understand you better and can HELP YOU. 

So instead he turns to Jasper, and he does so for good reason: He wants to control his power and emotions.. the problem is Jasper dosen’t WANT what Steven wants. Steven wants to feel godo again and feel healthy and be the person people want him to be. Jasper.. wants a fight. She wants a diamond, someone to serve, someone stronger than her who will LET her be what she feels she’s meant to be: a warrior, a destroyer, a breaker of worlds. So she slams that steven shaped peg into a round hole, and it’s horrifying and uncomfortable to see our hero turned from a loveable hero.. to a power obssed, almost vegeta-esque asshole .. in short she’s made him into the very thing he spent years fighting against, all because he’s so scared of himself he can’t face himself. It shows just how bad things have gotten: that steven’s hates himself SO MUCH, that he’d rather become something worse than face the truth and let his family help him. So convinced they don’t need him that he needs to be something ELSE. 

And so tons of training, abuse and hard labor lead to the moment Jasper and fans had been waiting for: a rematch between the two. And.. it’s easily one of the series best fights. For a series that’s at it’s core about ending the cycle of violence and often big exchanges of words and someone emotinally healing are treated as big as victories in combat.. the show has some of the best fight scenes in cartoons period, and this being the penultimate one, we’ll get to the last one next time, it’s a brutal, dbz style slugfest, something unlike the other fights in the show, with two opponents full of rage and hate going at it with everything they have.. ending in Steven, for one breif terrifying moment having BECOME what his grandmothers and mother used to be: A sadstic monster drunk on their own power “Your right jasper, I WAS holding back”

But when we next see Steven, running into the house and ingoring his rightfully concerned family..... he’s not that guy anymore. He’s back to who he was at the start of the episode: A scared teenager who deeply hates himself and who wants to be better but is ironically shutting out the only people who can help him. And one.. whose committed murder. This was a VERY bold move to make: Steven KILLED SOMEONE. Sure it was  shattering so it got past censors, but in his lowest moment.. steven did the one thing that to someone who treasures all life, is anthemia to him: he killed, did what his mother did before she changed, did what his aunts have done countless times to countless worlds. And it horrifes him, with him desperate to bring jasper back and using everything he has, his powers and his aunts essences, to try and fix his mistake.  And unlike anyone else in his postion he succeeds.. and Jasper, ignoring steven’s attempts to apologize is surprised at first at being shattered, knowing what happened.. befor bowing proudly, FINALLY getting what she was REALLY after: A diamond to serve. And steven can only gaze in horror at what he’d become and at the realization he can’t go back from this and he has no idea what to do now. An utterly grippling, utterly terrifying character piece with some of Zach Callistons best character work in the show’s storied history, with Steven shifting from being drunk on his power to utterly broken at having broken jasper. One of the series finest moments.. only topped by some things the series proper did.. and some more on this list. 

19. Perils of Peekablue (She Ra and the Princesses of Power) 

“They are my people. Which means most of them have sworn revenge against me at some point “  She Ra was easily one of the best shows of the 2010′s. While it started out excellent, and pretty gay, it ended being a masterpiece, and fabulously gay, as is befitting something related to He Man in some way. 

A masterful space opera, She Ra had some great bones in a thrilling love story, great humor, great action and wonderful characters most of them main and supporting going through some form of development. It was a wonderful, magical show and I look forward to Noelle giving Lumberjanes the series treatment, both because the series concept is frankly better built for an ongoing tv series than a monthly comic, and because after this series she has my utmost faith in whatever she does. Also her story about how she both came to terms with her sexuality and met her partner was VERY lovely.  Seriously check it out. Also her partner was the one who co wrote another entry on this list, just a fun fact. Point is this show was awesome.  But as I said part of the show’s strength was it’s character and that shines on this day in the limelight episode covering what’s going with the rebellion since She Ra shot off into space to rescue her best friend. We do get to see the best friends squad breifly, but their simply heading home: With Catra rescued and on the path to being a better person, and firmly in adora’s lap because again this show is wonderously gay and because it annoys her and Catra gets off on that, our heroes are wondering how everyone else is fairing.  So we see that, as with the Rebellion not doing so good against Horde Prime, our heroes seek the solution to their problems with the same solution homer simpson always uses:

Well okay less starting a new life and more getting the help of the mysterious prince peekablue, who I now realize is where the whole pikablue name for merril probbaly came from.. or maybe nerds making things up in the 90′s werne’t that creative. You decide!

So we get the ragtag team of Mermista, Seahawk, Scorpia and Perfuma, as the quartet try to bluff their way to the prince for help. Naturally we get Seahawk being seahawk, i.e. an awesome ham with a voice way older than he looks, Mermista being annoyed by that and being forced to admit she tried out pyromania to see what it’s like, which naturally is the most romantic thing Seahawk’s heard in his whole life.. as well as some VERY charming ship tease between Scorpia and Perfuma as Scorpia enrouages her the two bond and Scorpia finally likes someone who both likes her back and isn’t so obssed with her sorta ex and tied up in her own issues a relationship is impossible. Look I was suprised she found someone else as everyone here, but i’m happys for her. She’s the nicest person on this show and is now dating the second nicest person on this show. It’s nice okay. 2020 didn’t give me much nice, it gave me the emotoinal equilvent of being constnatly stung by hornets.

We also get a lovely musical number from Scorpia about being a spy.. and the revelation Peekablue.. is just Double Trouble. THEIR BACK BABY. It was nice for them to make a comeback for one last apperance and they do provid vallid information.. but prove to not be too useful despite this both due to their habit of being only out for themselves, hence setting up an elaborate cabaret act under the ocean.. and because Mermista got chipped by the crowd, so now our heroes are stuck in a giant coffin surronded by the thing she can manipulate. It’s only through a harrowing sacrifice by scorpia that Perfuma and Seahawk escape but with their sorta partners now brainwahsed to the other side.  To amp up the tension back home.. things are even worse as Spinerlla, whose been brainwashed for several episodes and seriously worrying her wife Netossa... has made her move and with the rest of the rebellion’s leadership gone, chipped everyone but Frosta and King Micah, who dosen’t last long, meaning not only do our two remaning heroes BARELY escape, but the horde now has, between both plot lines, four really heavy hitters, as later episodes would bear out that Spinerlla is basically the red tornado when it comes to wind powers. Point is perils is a fun, breather episode... that then turns into a still fun but also heartbreaking episode as our heroes loose and loose bad and their only hope is in our ohter heroes making it back to htem in one piece. 

18. 100% No Stress Day (Close Enough) “Long story short I owe them three grand”  Close Enough.. has not had the easiest existence. It was greenlit in 2017, used it’s pitch reel as the trailer meaning everyone thought it was MUCH farther along, was meant for TBS but got shelved because the show it was to be paired with, The Cops, was created by sexual predator Louis CK. And since he came up and h’es primarily responsible for this show getting shelved for so long... Louis CK is a bastard. He harassed women, literally and metaphorically waved his dick around to show his superiority, knew he could get away with it, and ACTED contrite when caught and rightfuly punished for it by loosing everything.. then has spent the last year or so TRYING to mount a come back, with the help of Dave Chapelle who I lost ALLLLL respect for in recent years, despite not having apologized or done anything that resembles him having actually learned his fucking lesson or tells me that, could he get away with it, he wouldn’t just do it again. I’m taking time out of this unrelated thing ot make sure he does not get ANY power back, as too often preadatory or abusive assholes get away with this and get right back to doing stuff, like say Doug Walker, who I only bring up to remind people he’s a bad person who enabled worst people and abused a lot of innocent critics, and let htem lovingly euologize a man he knew was a preadator in life without telling any of them about said behavior, which he coudl’ve done without outing the victim to the world against her wishes. Because as another episode we’ll get to next time briliantly put it 

But now i’m done reminding people of assholes, I can get back to what’s really important: The fact this show is a goddamn miracle. Not only is it as good as I hoped, which let’s face it in this year it was just as likely the show would be the video equilvent of scabies, but it got RENEWED. Turns out it’s being delayed.. was a blessing in disguise as it sidestepped being part of a failed animation block, and instead go to be the first adult animated show on HBO Max with tons of promotion. And judging by the future lineup of adult animated programming.. it’s probably going to be the ONLY good one for a while as other offering includes the prince, about life with the royal family, and a show about a 12 year old whose constantlly going thorugh trauma because they apparently did not get the irony when watching moral orel and also skipped the entire third season. And possibly got some brain damage I dunno. Hopefully will lead to much better shows down the line and actually gets a second chance at life, and even if it clocks in at only two seasons, it’s still a damn miracle and I will acknolwedge it. 

So yeah as I said the show is fantastic and was one of my faviorites this year. The show treads some familiar terroitory as it does use the formula from Quintel’s “Regular Show”: Normal problems that spiral into bizzare chaos that still has it’s own effed up internal logic. The thing that honestly makes it BETTER in my opinon, is the passage of time. Quintel is no longer the brighted eyed fresh out of college and menial job guy he was: he’s married with a kid, and that fully informed this project, as instead of being about doofing around in your 20′s, it’s about the pressures of hitting your 30′s: from aging to keeping your relationship fresh to all the perils that come with parenting, to missed opportunities you deeply regret. There’s a lot of good stuff they dig into here, but it never overdies the comedy, simply ads a bit of depth to it. And regular show wasn’t LACKING that by any means, i’m not bashing the show.. i’m just saying Close Enough is starting at the level Regular Show was at at it’s best.. and could easily and handily suprasss it with time it now has. 

And I was first given a good and proper introduction via this episode, as it leaked beforehand due to a french animation festival and I couldn’t help reviewing it, as i’d waited quite some time. But honestly while I like the first episode in the all in the show proper, quilty pleasures.. I feel this is a WAY better first episode and shoudl’ve been swapped with Quilty, as it introduces things even better and lets the whole cast shine, and thus is one of two close enough episodes on this list.  The episode starts with Emily, the stable but stressed and anxious half our our main couple at the doctors office where we get a great barrage of jokes off the bat, from the laundry setting a blaze leading to one of the series best lines

Naturally this has lead to her body constnatly sleep fighting .. while she’s awake, so Josh, her husband and loveable doofus, offers to take care of errands so she dosen’t implode from the stress. This also displays one of the series best assets: While Josh and Emily are an optimistic and impulsive idiot and a stressed out, often voice of reason.. they actually LOVE each other. It’s like a far more healthy of early seasons homer and marge, where BOTH get in over their head but  both clearly love and respect each other, and while Josh CAN be irresponsible.. he still holds down a decent job (Though Emily is more of the breadwinner and her job provides the insurance), is attentive to their daughter candace, and WANTS to be repsonsible. Trust me after countless dom coms where i’ve had to restrain from yelling “GET A DIVORCE” at the screen, it’s nice the tide is turning and Bob’s Burgers has become more of the norm couple wise than the exception.  But yeah so the main group splits up: Josh takes candace and his best friend and local weirdo played by Jason Mantzokus every series needs, and easily my favoirite character, Alex to do errands while Bridgette, Alex’s ex husband, Emily’s best friend and both the bbay of the bunch and the most irresponsible one.. gets her high to help her relax. 

Both plots are really great: The boys and candace run into a ham shortage, a joke that actually plays better in the pandemic age, and stripper clowns because in the series best gag so far, Alex explains via flashback he bet them they couldn’t make a dog, and one did so.. using his dick. 

Just in case you were wondering if JG was enjoying the fact he could use adult humor now, though another part of the series charm is while it freely makes more adult jokes, it dosen’t ever get into gross or dudebro territory. It just means the censors are down and they don’t have to hide beer as soda anymore. They also have to tangle with some hamburgalers who are reselling the meat at rock bottom prices and creating the shortage.. and who deny being hamburgalers despite their tactics being backing up into houses with a large van and stealing hams. OUr heros avoid becmonig meat and naturally end up both in a car chase and then a bet for their lives in a game of Ladder World, josh’s latest game.  Meanwhile Emily blazes it and we get a great getting high montage, as it shows BRidgette’s idea does genuinely help a bit.. until they run into Timothy, the teacher at cadance’s school who I hope gets an increased roll as he’s always a delight and this is his best apperance. Depsite the understandable awkwarndess and paranoia of running into your kids teacher while high, being an open minded guy Timothy offers them wine and then weed and even takes Emily punching him when her trip takes a bad turn, giving her a stern but fair “bitch use your words!” before the next seen has him helping her through her issues with some solid advice, allowing her to arrive in home just in time to save her husband and the cave goblin who lives in her house from clown strippers and meat gangsters.. which sounds like one hell of a gay porno. All in all a solid, always hilarous, always charming ep that shows the series off at it’s best. 

17. How Santa Stole Christmas! (Ducktales)

“No, no.. Christmas is a SAD story?” 

This is my third and hopefully FINAL time talking about this one, though given it has a high chance of showing up on the series best of list, probably not. Not that I mind, this is a VERY good episode, I just don’t have anytihing new left to say. It’s a heartwarming, fresh, engaging christmas special that uses the characters perfectly and for once actually strips down the cast effectively instead of making you wonder where everyone else is, while still giving everyone an apperance. It also has Webby giving Lena (And Violet) an adorable cheek smooch when delivering her parents and I will never not find that fucking precious. Plus it’s gay as hell with plenty of gay subtext between Scrooge and Santa, a sentence I never thought i’d say but i’m so glad i’ts my job to get to type things like that, and said kiss so that helps. But even besides that it’s just REALLY damn good. Again i’m leaving this short both because i’ve talked about this twice now, once when it came out as I do regularly for ducktales and again for my best christmas specials list, but it’s really that good and made it damn high on my bet christmas specials list and is only so low here.. because despite being a terrible year in every other respect we got some REALLY good episodes this year. So yeah this one’s a classic, I love it but i’m tired of talking about it till at least next december. Moving on. 

16. Finale (E-Turtle Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Shreddy or Not,  Anatawa Hitorijanai, and Rise) Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles “Oh and Blue your leader now”  As I mentioned in the intro. Rise of the TMNT was unjustly canceled this year and even worse got it’s season order chopped in half and was given just weeks to throw together a finale. So it’s remakrable that not only was the season pretty damn good, having the series usual problems of sometimes overdipping into the boys stupidity hence the episode where everyone but Raph keeps eating poison, but also had both great character arcs in Baron Draxum’s reformation and Splinter getting more and more fleshed out and more screne time, and great laughs. Seriously Clothes Don’t Make The Turtle, aka that episode where our heroes end up trapped in an 80′s dress up montage, BARELY didn’t make the list. 

And as a longtime fan of the franchise I couldn’t be happier this fresh take, which I was aprhensive about at first because it looked like yet another dumbed down teen titans go ripoff, and given it was dumb to begin with... but instead was a fun action comedy with a lot of really unique and intresting ideas. And despite the rush to finish.. they delivered one hell of a finale and on the high chance season 3 dosen’t happen... it’s a hell of a note to go out on.  First things first: yes i’m counting multi parters as one episode. Not more seralized shows like SU Future or Infinity Train, where events can flow in and out, but stories that are clearly one big story, in pieces like the old days. Since hour long episodes of shows are fair game, I felt it only fair that multi parters around the same length as an hourlong special be given the same treatment. Not that any hourlongs made it this year, sorry fans of Obsidian and “Let’s Get Dangerous”, though both are throughly EXCELLENT episodes this was just a tight list. 

Okay good. So yeah the finale, split over four episodes, is an epic: taking plot threads from all season and series and weaving them into a well paced, emotoinal, finale. Like previous more serious episode the comedy’s downplayed.. but it doesen’t feel like an entirley diffrent show and works well, and the always great fluid animation was kicked up to 11 for this one.  So to make a long story short: in this series shredder is a demonic set of armor, but came back wrong at the end of last season when the food clan revivied him, so while the clan now has him back, they can’t really use him. And current head Foot Recurit, a spunky foot recruit whose failed to rank up despite being tough and ambitious and worthy of it, is at a loss how to reviive her master.  The turltes, naturally, end up accidently blundering into the solution as they head into Splinter’s head to find the info to beat Shredder. The show gives splinter easily one of , if not the best, backstories he’s ever had: While at the start the character was highly annoying, being a lazy asshole who didn’t train the boys and did nothing.. the show eventually give us valid reasons WHY he’s like this: he didn’t like being turned into a rat by big bad of season 1 Baron Draxum and thus has depresion over that, had quit fighting since he’d been forced to be a cage fighter by his ex for a while,  his ex being a giant spider just in case you thought this would be remotely normal an forgot what show we were talking about and genrally just had no horse in the tight training he usually does in most continuties. 

This episode adds another, heartbreaking lair: We find out back when he was Hamato Yoshi, Splinter’s mom left to ward off shredder when he was a boy.. and thus never came back and presumibly died. Understandably he had no time for the clan at that point, constantly defying his grandfather.. and why should he have time for them? They took his mom away for a thankless duty sacrificing herself to stop something he had no way of knowing was real, another reason he never trained the boys. And his grandfather rather than be AT all apologetic clearly, via his actions, thought of this as some great honor and was baffled why Yoshi would have no intrest in repeating his mother’s actions or have any sense of honor, duty or even love for a man who as far as he could tell, threw his mom to the wolves and had no regrets about it. So we see Yoshi as both a rebellious teen and as a movie star throwing out his grandpa.. we see those in reverse of course, but the later scenes give context to those showing why Yoshi was so rude.. because he lost his mom and it still hurts him.  HOwever helping her frees the shredder.. but also Karai who bizarely, in this continuity is not only an aincent ancestor of theres but a firm ally instead of either a deadly enemy or a fremeny of sorts. Or Splinter’s dang daughter, one of 2012′s best plot elements.. that was then wasted by turning her into a snek for a while because that show really went off the rails. So it quickly turns from a heartwarming and awkard family reunion.. to our heroes and karai barely escaping with their lives as shredder demolishes the lair, and Draxum, now a good guy after a season’s worth of wonderful chracter development, and Splinter stay behind, with Draxum cleverly bluffing and pretending ot be evil again.. only to try and take out shredder. 

Meanwhile we get this series take on “the turtles going to teh woods to retreat” as Raph beats himself up for being a bad leader and our heroes learn to tap into their hamato nimpo.. which basically means super magic ninja powers which allows them to bring back their classic weapons and enhances their magic, as it was never in teh weapons but in them all along. Also April gets Karai in her, phrasing, and a glowing boost to her bat.  The result.. is one of the best fights of both the year and the franchise PERIOD, which is what got me to catch up to see the finale because I saw a fan video synching it up to “Spin and Burst”.. and while not a naruto fan.. that song is fucking awesome and that video showed off an utterly marvelous fight. See for yourself

Seriously I wasn’t kidding. I’ve been a fan of this franchise since 2003. This is one of the best sequences in it’s history with or without the added soundtrack: The fighting is fast, frentic, beautfully animated and cool to watch and perfectly combines the series humor, with our heroes giving out quips and callbacks at the right times, with it’s fast paced and wonderous action. It also shows how far our heroes have come: while PART of it is them having super mystic powers unlocked.. they both had to work to reach those powers, and spirtually rather than phsycially,in the third part, but each power is merly an upgraded versoin of their old weapon powers, ablities they’ve spent the entire series mastering, paticuarlly leo who went from BARELY being able to work his portals to using teleport spam here. While they did pull a power BOOST out of their ass, it would’ve meant nothing had they not been anymore skileld than when they started and it makes the fight feel rewarding and impactful. And it ends with the hamot clan as a whole, with new ally foot recurit aka cassandra jones ina great last minute reveal that they CLEARLY didn’t have time to build up better, and smoke that bitch. Also Leo’s leader now bye. It’s just a damn good finale and I dind’t even get into all the great character stuff, including the great payoff of Casey’s face turn after seeing just how much of a monster the man she always wanted to serve is, and how he’s hurting Splinter, who ACTUALLY cares about her well being despite being an enemy. It’s just good stuff that fits the franchise like a glove but iwth the series own unique stamp on it. Nuff said. 

15. Toadcatcher (Amphibia)  “Your not upset because you lost the fight, your upset because you lost your friend! Your upset that Anne stood up to you and things between you will never be the same again.”  Amphibia was one of the first shows I covered reguarlly and along with Ducktales one of the most popular.. so yeah it’s weird it not only is low on the list, but this is the only represtintive. But this was a high volume year for quality and while the show had other standout episodes like gravity falls tribute “Wax Museum”, Marcy’s introduction “Marcy at the Gates” and noir patische “Little Frogtown”, as this list already shows it was a really tight race. It dosen’t help that while Season 2 isn’t terrible.. it’s a bit more uneven, and unlike season 1 it’s weaker stretches of episodes weren’t as easily covered, as instead of airing every weekday, it was a weekly release. Which I prefer, as it means they aren’t being dumped out en masse and are given room to breathe and the passage of time feels more warranted when it’s spread out over a few months intead of a few weeks. It just meant the weaker episodes stood out more and drained on me more.. but it also meant the stronger ones were all the more a breath of fresh air. And nowhere was this more apparent as teh worst episode of the season, and series, thus far, Quarallers Pass.. was paired with Toadcatcher, an utterly marvelous episode and followup to ironically the series best so far, Reunion. 

This episode catches us up with Sasha, Anne’s former best friend who tried to kill her in a sword fight, one where the entirety of wartwood including her adopted grandpa was at sake and Sasha knew this and did not care. She then followed it up by letting go when Anne was depseratley holding on, with the help of her new family, to save Sashsa’s life.. and Sasha let go. I discussed the full implications in the review so I will avoid trigggering anyone, and I mean tha tin the medical sense anyone using it ironiclaly or to mock people using it as it’s intended can get fucked, but she clearly didn’t intend to make it, but Grime saved her and spirted her off.  So we catch up with both licking their wounds from the ordeal: Sasha has decided to take the Jasper route of horrible coping mechanisms and is training constnatly, readily kiling dolls of the plantars but still unable to truly hurt Anne, burying her feelings over her guilt and her best friend rightfully turning on her and then trying to save her anyway despite Sasha trying to gut her. Grime.. is binging on the wonderfully terrible teen soap Supscion Island, coming back this january on the cw, that was intorduced last season and generally not carring the king has his best men, women and nonbinary folks out for his head. 

So both issues come to a head as General Yuaan, scourge of the Sand Wars, defeater of Ragnar the Wretched, and the youngest newt to ever achieve the rank of general in the great Newtopian Army, and she’ll never miss a chance to say that, has come for Grime whose in no condition and has no will to fight back. He also finally confronts Sasha when she snaps at him for it, pointing out she’s simply burying the fact that she lost Anne, things won’t be the same, and she won’t deal with it.  The episode adds real depth to grime, going from an intresting but semeingly just evil overlord.. to someone who worked his way out of a fighting pit to be given a thankfless if cushy job by the same people who threw him in in the first place, someone who to my shock at the time.. CARES about his protege. While allowing Sasha in was simply to their mutual advantage at first.. he’s grown to genuinely care about her as his friend and offers to let Yuaan have him so she can be free. but Sasha refuses. Despite her issues.. she CARES about the old toad and together, and using Yaan’s ham against her, they beat her, and decide to rebuild their army... after Grime finishes his soaps of course. Can.. relate. A thorughly good, throughly emotinally episode that dosen’t lack the series humor but does have a depth and rhthym to it that the series has at i’ts best. 

14. Quack Pack! (Ducktales)  Jesus I was so tired when making this I nearly forgot an entry. And shame on me as this was one of the best episodes of an already amazing Season. Season 3 is easily ducktales best and i’ve been proud to cover it. It’s been my most popular feature and while not every episodes been GREAT, only one’s really not been very good, and none have been out and out bad. While it may be the end of the shows run and not without problems, they still have trouble ballancing the adults at times if not nearly as bad as before, to the point Launchpad just sorta vanishes after Let’s Get Dangerous outside of the Christmas Specail that takes place before the season anyway, and Louie is often written VERY badly.. but i’ve talked about these things all season in my reviews.

Point is those faults are overwhelmed by the strengths; The character ballance is better, several side characters have gotten tons of payoff to their arcs and more development, and the main plot is easily the best in the series history: By having essentially one main plot with two focuses, before they merge at the halfway marker, it allows the season to be far more streamlined after the really messy way season 2′s plots were handled. It just shows the show at it’s best and has produced amazing episode after amazing episode and it was really hard to widdle it down to the ones that got selected here and even then one got left out. 

But one boost I haven’t mentioned is their wilingness to take risk. While past seasons had flashback episodes and what not this one, in hindsight, has some of the more risky episodes of the series, ones you really COULDN’T do in seasons 1 and 2: a whole episode flashback to the twins, basically taking our present day kids out for the whole season, an hour long special focusing on what, to fans not familiar with darkwing duck, is simply a very engaging side character and his new sidekick.. and launchpad (The ducks aren’t OUT of the special, but they aren’t the focus and aren’t around for most of the climax). An episode with really dark emotional moments.. which isn’t unsuaul for a disney show, see next time, but for one so close to their chest it was a lot. They were settled in enough to take plenty of risks and it’s paid off. It’s not to community levels of experimentation, but it’s still nice, intresting breaks from the usual adventures. 

And one of the best and boldest of these was Quack Pack. Taking our heroes and plopping them into a TGIF sitcom. Of which this plot not only happened TWICE this year, three times if you count the entirety of beef house, which I do so let’s call it three, but both cartoon examples are on this list. But both tackle it in diffrent and intresting ways so both got on here.  IN this case.. during a stock plot about a family photo, complete with Donald having his Don Cheadle voice back, we get some great parodies of convetions of les.s. good sitcomes nad even some of the greats: there’s the constnat catcphrases (ranging from a sticomy version of Della’s “On the moon”, to Beakly’s “I’m not a spy.. which sh’es understandably inscnesed to find out is her catchphrase) ,and even the wacky neighbor with our lord and savior Goofy showing up in the roll, as a nice nod to the more sitcom side of the Disney Afternoon. We just get a lot of good gags.. until Huey becomes aware, starting to realize things are off, with his guidebook being empty and things just not adding up. We even get a great bit of him being forced to do a disney channel/that 70′s show dance transtion only to react with exesntial horror.  Naturally, given their lives,a  genie did it, Gene, played by Jaleel White in a pefect bit of casting. Having been imprisoned in his lamp since the 90′s. Gene’s a bit behind on how sticoms work, but was just granting a wish, Donald’s wish, which the family figures out by trigggiring a flashback, Goofy VERY MUCH included. where we find out it was, unsuprisngly Donald’s fault.. though in his defense, and in the best line of the episode, when confronted about wishing for a normal life “I wish for that 30 times a day. How was I supposed to know a lamp was under me this time?”

And we find out why and it’s heartbreaking: Donald just wants a normal family, where everyone’s safe and, most tellningly “No one gets lost.”. It’s the climax of a series long HATRED of going on these adventures. For everyone else it’s fun, thriling, good stuff.. to him.. it’s not only a reminder of what cost him 10 years with his sister and his adopted sons their mom for that time, but a reminder of a lot of pain and humilation. To him he just wants the normal life he used to have back, despite that not being an option and his kids to be safe and his sister not to leave again. Granted his refusal to undo the wish is selfish.. but i’ts understandable. And while the rest of them try to break the wish, and end up fighting the horrifying audience it’s GOOFY who gets donald to see all families are diffrent and that there is no normal: just what you make and enjoy. It makes donald realize that as hectic as his life is.. it’s his life, his family.. and maybe. it’s not so bad. After years of denying how much he used to love adventuering.. he realizes part of him stilld oes and no amount of turning against it will fix what he lost... he just has to enjoy NOW. It’s good solid character development for my favioriote member of the cast, and overall a fun, genre spoofing episode that pokes fun at the genre but reallyg ets how it works. 

13. Growing Pains (Steven Universe Future)

“ What do I do? How do I move on from all the stuff I've been through? How do I live life if it always feels like I'm about to die?! “ So yeah big recap of steven’s emotional well being to get into future earlier, but rewinding a bit, this one takes place with our hero at a low point. Not “oh god I comitted murder what am I now oh god” low as we got to earlier and the series itself wold get to later, these lists make time warped and space bendeble, but still pretty damn bad.  As mentioned before Steven tried proposing to connie, not helped by Ruby and Sapphire both being fully on board, as both are hopeless romantics seprate but when combined as a Garnet their shared braincell can get working properly and has settings other than “emotoinal pain, peppy (ruby), a bit distant but kind (Sapphire) and horny”. While it was as beautiful a propsal as you’d expect from Steven.. Connie gently rejected it since you know, he also wanted to be permafused and their not even legal marrying age left. He’s 17.. despite what this episode claims. She’s 15 or 16. They aren’t ready and she knew it not even ruling it out entirely, just saying “not now”.  But as this episode bears out.. Steven really isn’t an emotinal state where he could properly process that way and after shooing her away, even though she WANTED to talk it over and genuiely make sure he was okay as she damn well knew this wasn’t easy on him, but also knew it’d probably be bad to press him while he was clearly in pain. So like everyone else she made the mistake of leaving.  So Steven’s binging on junk food, and bemoaning the fact that even dogcopter is getting married.. also Dogcopter is gay. Given the show he’s a fictional character in, you THINK i’d of been less suprised but you’d be wrong. Point is steven isn’t dealing well and is going pink and with the gems gone for the weekend, and Greg unavaliable due to being busy as a manager, Steven is getting worse and his body is starting to warp. Thanfkully connie comes to check up on him and insits he see a doctor.. and since her mother’s a doctor and thankfully had a cancelation. Unthankfully it turns out, to Prianka’s understandable frustration.. Steven’s never been to a doctor. Which does make sense, Greg taking him in might’ve alreted authorties to his lack of schooling or his injuries from age 13 onward, plus he had no idea of knowing how his body would react to tests. That being said given by this point in the series Gems are well accepted and known around town and everyone loves and adores steven, Greg had no real excuse by this age especially after the second gem war.  And that’s proven by the fact it turns out steven’s body has tons of internal scars which, due to him turning out to have a wolverine style healing factor, mean h’es alive and without brain damage, but still has plenty of internal scars. It’s a godo metaphor for his mental trauma: he came out of his various happenings ALIVE.. but not mentally okay and with PLENTY of ptsd. When Prianka asks him to list his traumas.. he dosen’t even get past season 1 before she’s understandably horrified, though she’s figured out exactly what’s causing his pink mode: as mentioned before his contstant life of danger and having the threat of a fight at any moment over his head for 2 solid years, maybe 3 given the third light game shows he still had a lot of work to do before the movie and future, and honestly still does at times during both, mean his flight or fight response has been shot so the adrenline charged pink form, meant to protect him from danger.. is triggering for EMOTIONAL pain and suffering. 

Steven dosen’t take it well and keeps enlarging when pressed.. and accidently spills the beans about the proposal... and understandably, even if she was FULLY in the right can’t be around Connie: while she had every right to reject him, it dosen’t mean it hurts any less. Sometimes even when you do the absolute right thing.. it can still hurt to be on the receiving end of that. But Connie is still Connie, aka the most emotinally  stable and mature person in the main cast very much including the sentient space rocks who are centuries older than her, so she called Greg who naturally dropped everything because his son needed him. It shows the genuine conflict, one, again that I’ve grappled with: Steven is so obssed with not boterhing those he loves, he fails to see they’ll help him when he needs it without a second thought. So Greg thankfully calms him down and taks over the failed proposal with no judgement or anything just support. Sadly things go downhill from here but it’s a good episode that turns the entire series on it’s head with some damn good character work. 

12. Annhilation of Joy (The Midnight Gospel) 

“Again? How Many times is this guy gonna die?” “Until he learns”  The Midnight Gospel was a plesant suprise. Penndelton Ward’s return to animation after leaving Adventure Time, the show is a collberation between him and podcaster Duncan Trussel. It was a suprise both in how quickly it came together, and in how it’s real nature wasn’t properly expressed in the trailers: while the series does tell us the trippy adventures of Clancy, a 40 something “Spacecaster” who uses an illegal simulator to visit worlds to interview various people.. said interviews are expercts from Trusseul’s own podcast, the Duncan Trussel Family Hour, something this series has badly made me want to listen to. As such while dealing with zombie apocalypses, a quest to avenge a dead lover, being processed as meat and meeting death herself while looking for his hose, Clancy interviews his subjects, including Death herself, and talks on various subjects related to medation and spirutality, throughly fascenating interviews greatly woven into trippy visuals. Hopefully the show will be back for round 2 at some point as both Ward and Trussel are game, but for now the first season stands on it’s own as a throughly trippy, throughly wonderful blend of Trussel’s words and insight and Ward’s boundless imagination.  And the best of these, narrowly beating out the final epsiode which uses an interview with Truseel’s late mother to inform clancy’s own actions, as Clancy’s Mom is dying from cancer same as Trussels tragically did. But I like this one slightly better due to it’s great blend of the subject with the plot. Once again Clancy is ignoring his pain, and his sister’s calls, by diving into the space vagina of his simulator, taking a weird form, and easily my faviorite of his shapeshifted forms of the season: a living rainbow that wouldn’t be out of palce in a pbs kids show, complete with the fact he makes musuical chimes when touched not unlike a children’s toy and has chosen this form to enter the simulator’s jail.  It’s there he gets engagled, literally, with Bob and Jason. Bob is an angry, upset prisoner who chewed his own tounge out years ago, and Jason is his soul bird, a represntation of his pain bound to him by blue rope that Clancy got tangled in. So Clancy is taken along for the ride with them as every time Bob dies, the celestial beings in charge of the prison put him through weird emtional torment, pluck out his heard and weigh it against  a feather plucked from jason. 

Thus while Clancy and Jason have a spirited conversation about Buddishm and about not treaing spirutality like a game with levels and having to earn progress but as an emotinal journey, Bob goes through a buddishm inspried journey of his own, mixed with a bit of edge of tommorow. He dies, gets tourtured then resets.. but slowly learns to empathize, to let go of his anger and violence and help those around him. It’s an utterly mesmering journey to watch this angry green big headed man go from a violet convict who will gladly shoot and stab.. to a pacfisit eager to help those around him. And it’s thorughly convincing and backed wonderfully by the interview and easily a sign of what this weird and unconveintonal series can do at all cyllnders. Seriously Netflix you’ve been on a loosing streak decisionmaking wise. Make. More. Of. This. 

11. Save the Cat (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power) "C'mon Catra. You're not done. Not yet..."

God that image is unsettling. Anywho back to She-Ra, and somehow this is the second time i’ve had to rewind the progress of a season by about an episoide. Weird. Point is saved the cat is one of the most tightly packed and thrilling episodes of the series.. and the crux of Catra’s character arc.  Before this Catra had hit her lowest point, having lost ..j well everything. She pushed everyone from adora, to the nonambigiously a couple trio, to her own best friends away through her shitty behavior and inferoirty complex and somenoe she THOUGHT was her friend.. turned on her for money. Oh and as an added stomp on the tail all that betryal, all the blood spilled in her name.. was for nothing. Horde Prime made her irrelvant: she couldnt’ manipualte him because a combination of a god complex and an army of loyal drones meant he had nothing to hide and eyes everywhere. She had nothing. Eveyrthing she did every sacrifice she made every worse and worse turn she made a s a person... amounted to NOTHING.  So it was at this point she and glimmer, despite you know killing Glimmer’s mother, were forced to work together.. and Catra sacrificed herself both to get Glimmer safe and because for once.. she wanted to do something right. Her self loathing, some of it warranted, a lot of it already there from an abusive childhood, left her with one option: sacrifice herself and HOPE, something good can come of it, Apologize to Adora, hte one person she ever loved and hope she can at least surivive this.  Naturally, Adora having seen her friend/love of her life has not only REALIZED what she become, but sacrifice herself.. isn’t having this, and after an episode of repairs both on the ship and emotinally, our heroes are naturally, despite any personal hangups with her ready to save Catra. Naturally this hits snags. On Bow and Entrapta’s end, they accidently free a horde clone she mistakes for hordak and, having no other real option and with the guy being useful, Wrong Hordak is born! I love me some Wrong Hordak. What a guy, makes you cry, und I did. 

The main issue though is Adora let herslef be captured.. only to find Horde Prime is a sadstic bastard and has not only chipped Catra, but is using her newfound peace of mind to play with adora’s head, using Catra’s heartbreak from the past to manipulate Adora in the present.. and force them to fight because hey he’s a sadistic jackass with a god complex. They make their own fun.  But Adora gets through to her .. only for Prime to decide fuck it and try killing her with Adora BARELY saving her with her power, and Catra, as she fades, wondering why Adora even bothered. And the why is simple.. as a wise fictional version of a wise president once said “Dying is easy young man, living is harder”. Not the last time that quote will be relevant in this top 20 list, but the point, and it was delebrate on Noelle Stevenon’s part, was to subvert this kind of thing> The bad guy gets redemption but then dies seconds later. Instead.. Catra has to LIVE with what she did and make up for it, become a better person and work for redepmtion, instead of just getting to end in some big blaze of glory. But at the same time.. it’s the better route. The harder one sure.. but she gets to have a life and to undo the damage and maybe for once.. actually live instead of just trying to surivive. IT was the right call in a series full of them. 

But yeah the day is saved, our heroes have two new roomates and Catra weakly greats Adora.. but with genuine warmth for the first time in .. years I guess? I don’t know this series time span. Point is the healing and the ship tease for our finale can begin and this episode is a tense, well put together masterwork. The pacing really is what put it up this far, as it really ratchets up the tension, and being the last season, meant there was no guarantee anyone, including catra, was going to make it. Excellent stuff all around. 

So that’s where we leave off for now. i’ll be PUTTING PART 2 HERE WITH A LINK. once i’ts finished For now watch this space and..

[fipindustries]

advice for my younger self

listening to that playlist i shared earlier today really got me in the mindframe of me back in my first years of college when i was barely starting to learn what it was to be an adult. and thinking about that i thought of some thing i would ike to say to that person, some bits of basic wisdom that without getting too specific or too monumental would have made a big difference. things that i know i wouldnt have figured out on my own until it was too late.

 this is not about specific mistakes i made but more general attitudes that i should have carried with me back then. most of this is going to be very particular and make sense only to me but if you are interested keep reading.

1) you dont have to complete your carrer in five years, you can take six or seven or ten years to do it, your parents would have assisted you all the same

1.a) as for studying, for christ sake dont just read the textbooks, if you are giving a big test and specifically if its a big oral lesson, write it down before hand, prepare a speech, write a monologue, practisce it, memorize it. prepare specifically what you are going to say when you are in front of the teachers, dont try to just “learn” it and hope that you’ll be able to recall it during the test

1.b) you dont have to take every single course in the semester, you can pick two or three you are really interested in, let the others by the wayside, pick them up later, use the free time to really study properly or get a simple part time job if you can, i know its sounds scary and like its a lot of responsability and like it diverges wildly from the plan you have for your life but trust me, its a lot easier than it sounds

2) dont be afraid of mental illness. is not as scary as it looks form the outside in. you are not gonna go insane, you are not going to get lost in a false world of delusion where you can never know what is real and what isnt. reality asserts itself, things calm down, it goes away. you get through it and you realize is not that bad from the other side. mental illness is a lot more common than you think, a lot more widespread than you think and a lot more manageable that you think. is not the end of the world and is not the end of your world either.

2.a) dont be afraid of the therapist, you will actually enjoy it a lot. it doesnt mean there is something terribly wrong or broken with you. its not shameful. they are smart and trained and they are glad to hear you talk. they are not going to force you into anything you dont want, they are not going to turn you into someone else, they are not going to send you to a mad house. their primary goal is that you be comfortable and at peace with yourself. go to a therapist.

3) keep your eyes open for any boardgame clubs. ask around, i know for a fact there is at least one in every city you’ve lived, maybe not yet at the time of you reading this but there will be. if you find them, join. they are the best thing that has ever happened to you.

4) if you happen to have sexual partners (and im not saying you definetly will) make sure they have a good time. ask what they want and do it for them. make sure they cum, seriously. stay with them. spend time together. cuddle in bed. they are having sex with you so the least you can do is have sex with them as well.

4.a) and by that same token, if you are in a relationship dont doubt to ask for sex too! be open about that, be forthcomming, but do be respectful. and if they say no or that they dont like to do that you should probably end the relationship, you are not going to be happy with them.

4.b) dont be afraid to try on womens clothes, you have my blessing, explore your femmenine side, try on make up. try on the fake boobies. do silly frilly pinky femmenine stuff. i know it’s just a weird fetish for you but if you have a partner be open with them about this and if they are supportive or want to help you explore this take full advantage. and dont worry, its not some dirty disgusting terrible secret that must be hidden from everyone. your friends and family are going to be ok with it if it ever comes out but dont feel is some dark secret that you must confess either, its your bussiness and for you to figure out at your own pace (also, hey, weird tip, i know it will sound absolutely nonesensical to you but did you know there are a lot of trans women who are trans without expiriencing dysphoria, just a fun fact i wanted to share with you :) )

5) dont be afraid of SJWs, they are not going to take away your games, they are not going to ruin cartoons or art or books or movies. masterpieces will still come out, well written, well drawn, well programmed and well animated masterpieces that you will love. you will be amazed at how easy is to ignore those people and how irrelevant they actually are once you stop following them on tumblr and once you stop going to twitter. 

5.a) if you think politics is stupid or cancerous now, wait until 2016, ok?

5.b) learn to apologize and own up to your mistakes. if a friend or an acquaintance is telling you that you are being an asshole online dont get defensive, just drop it and move on. dont make a huge deal out of it and dont engage in long protracted discussions online. just dont, you will embitter yourself, this is particularly salient because to this day you are having problems with this one, though not as frequently as you used to.

6) this one is more superficial i think because overall you did well on your own without advice from the future but... trust in your art. you will will amaze yourself with the things you will create. you ARE going to get a LOT better at what you do and you will learn a lot of things you never thought you would be able to master. you are going to become an amazing artist (that doesnt necesarily mean a financially succesful one or  a widely known one but you will be good at it and, trust me, that is what matters)

7) i know you’ve heard this one a million times but this one is cheating because i am from the future and i know this for a fact, you will be ok. things will work out, you will, time and again, find the way to fall on your feet, your family and friends will be there to catch you. you have a safety net, you are very lucky in that regard, dont take it for granted but it is there. you are not gonna end up homeless in the streets or raped in a dark alley or expelled on in prison or in a mental hospital, so relax and stop being so scared. you have ten very weird years ahead of you so good luck with that.

ps: you are going to meet a girl named zoe, she’s great, she’s the best. dont go live to hear apartment if you dont have a stable job and able to pay your own rent. and if you do make sure you moved out of it by february of 2020. if fact if at all possible, try not to be in cordoba by 2020. you are going to be fine as long as you are careful, you are not gonna die, i repeat YOU ARE NOT GONNA DIE. but do be extremely careful. thats it, godspeed.

[shiro-0197]

KAJDKANSKJSNS SHIRO I CUT MY HAIR I FEEL SO HAPPY MY HEAD IS SO LIGHT I LOVE IT YAYAYAYAYY MY HAIR IS SO FLUFFY AND IT'S LAYERRD NOW AHAHSHSGSHGS :DDDDD

wayyyyy too fun xD.

And wow. That was so confusing to read you guys are heroes for actually keeping up with a complicated system like that😭😭 do you guys have extracurriculars of any sort too? My school's big on those, because depending on the level, extracurriculars grant us points which we can use to get into good colleges.

Thank you so much!!! I really really hope so haha. Yeah self studying is the worst because I get easily distracted or I study for 8 hours straight without breaks, it's so crazy, I really need to regulate it. But having a study buddy is so much fun!!. Me and my friends used to do group studies very often because each of us had one specialty subject and we'd teach the others. (Mine's biology and english, Angel's was history and Malay, and we had a bunch of other friends who did really well in physics, chemistry, maths, and additional maths) but we can't really keep the group study thing up anymore because everyone's been so busy and we can't find a time to hop onto zoom together.

Yes :( rest in peace, River Phoenix.) Omg yes I might just post it on Instagram sometime when my piano is in tune again :D it's so expensive to get someone to tune it tho 😔😭

of course I care about you!! Speaking of which, I actually drew you something whilst I was drawing Christmas drawings for my other friends on Tumblr, and I thought, even if you don't celebrate it, you're special to me, so I wanted to draw you one too. I drew pictures of my friends with their favourite haikyuu characters, but yours is a drawing of us, I hope you don't mind xD

she's in front of me rn and she says thank you!! Hahaha, she came over to keep me company whilst I did some work on the laptop, and she's just studying here :] yeah he's very sweet, and I love him to bits lol.

it's really relaxing and fun to ramble about stuff with you too, I love you!! And awww I think just being a good friend to him means more than you'll ever know. Being there for someone is priceless.

aaah I'm so glad you think so, and thank you for never failing to respond with something that makes me so happy, I love you, I truly do.

—your ari(tist)

SUNSHINE OMG YES I SAW IT ITS SO PRETTY!!!! YOU LOOKS SO GOOD QJDJQJJDJWJRKD IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU !!!!!! FLUFFY FLUFFY HAIR I LOVE JT JSKDKDKSKKSS

Extracurriculars ?? I didnt even know this word existed😩 I think it's usually for some kind of events only, which dont happen often, but i think they counts as those extracclsld hehe~ I dont think we collect any points though, haha

Truee, it's so difficult to focus :(( that sounds so nice it's a shame you guys dont get to do that a lot😭😭 I wish I had a group of friends to study with, but tbh no one actually wanted to:/

Yay I'd love to hear it !!!!

OJDJSJJSNFKWNDJNDJFJDJXNSNWNJD !!!! WKDKKWKF ANJXJW WLFLLQJDN3 !!?!?!?! AAAA AAA THIS SO SO PRETTY I M GGHGGHAHEJJEJDJDJ LHHH !!!!!! OFC I DONT MIND ITS SO CUTE I'm about to CRY ajjajJWJEKWKDKWJDJJA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AJJDJDJD SPRRY for the keysmash spam it's just the only way to Express how much I love it jajrjdjfj😭😭🥺🥺💕💓💓💘💞💘💞

That's so nice of her!!!🥺🥺

I really hope so, but tbh hes one of the reasons I want to be succesful, you know? To be his, uh, hmmm. Sugar buddy?😭😭😭 KKWJDJJSJ you know what I mean XD But you're right, when hes with me I'm the happiest person ever, and I hope he feels the same way:(

Heheheh, thank you for that too, I love you so much😭💓💕💞💕💞

[diariesofaworkingmom]

New Beginnings...

Hey there! I know, it’s been a while since I last wrote. Got to deal with a lot of adult stuff, I was so busy. But since it’s lockdown, I have a lot of time in my hands. And I said, I will write at least 1-3 blog entries in a week.

For those who follow my blog, I did deleted my early entries. Why? Because as I was reading them, I just realized, what or rather who was the concept of those blogs. It was him. And as it is a new year, I wanted to start my personal blog with things about myself, my family, the things I love, my challenges in life, and my triumphs. So join me as I embark on a new journey, a journey of truly finding the peace and healing that I have always prayed for myself since this ordeal broke out.

They say new year is the best, it signifies the end of an era, a chance to start things right. It is where you can re-do the things that you have regretted, the chances that you did not take, let go and forgive, move on and live your life the way you wanted to.

Easier said than done right? When you are a person who is in their early 30’s and above, most of the time, you get used to your routine. I am not talking of course about the majority, but admit it, well at least I can speak for myself, that it is the case. We do the same things over and over again, we get somehow contented with what we already have and achieved, we tend to be satisfied about how we look, most especially for the married ladies out there, we feel that no matter how we dressed, we always feel secured about our boyfriend, partner or husband.

If there is anything that I have learned in my 34 years of existence,it is that you can never be secured of anything. One moment, your on top, you are so succesful, you were happy and you were so much in loved. And then, your life came crushing with something that you never thought would ever happen to you.

That was my case. I was so secured, I was happy and contented. And then, with just a snap of a finger, everything fell apart. I said earlier that this will not be about him, though of course, he would always be a part of what I write but this is more of me and what I have learned from the experience.

Coping with betrayal, anger and pain is so difficult. What makes it even more difficult is when you get it from the least person that you thought will never do it to you. But that’s life. There are some things that we would never understand, but as a wise man once said, everything happens for a reason. It may not make sense now, but it would definitely teach you something in the long run.

I was, for a long time in the grieving stage. All I could think of is how angry I am, how bad I wanted to get back on them for hurting me, how much I regretted all those years of being faithful, how I dedicated half of my life on him. How I forgot to take care of myself. I was hurting. There was not a night that I haven’t cried. Anxiety got the best of me and gave me sleepless nights taking a huge toll on my health. I neglected my responsibilities as a mom and my business. I was such a mess.

A friend told me, “it is okay to cry, it is okay to be hurt, healing is a process, it takes time, but don’t dwell on it for too long.” It took a long time for me to get used to my reality. Being single again after 15 years of being with one man was hard. I can’t imagine growing old alone. I began to feel scared. I felt self-pity. But dealing with so much pain made me realized how strong of a woman I am. Of how strongly I held on to him until I decided to finally let go. So, after going back in the Philippines, I suddenly felt I was getting better, little by little, the pain doesn’t keep me at night anymore, I was getting used to how it is now. And I felt at peace again. Something that I haven’t felt for a very long time.

After being emotionally stable, certain situations opened up a pathway for communication with him again. I said to myself that it would be just strictly business. But then, as the days past by, I felt at peace with how familiar the feeling was. It was something that the both of us were so used to. So I decided to be the better person and set aside the anger and pain that I am feeling to pave way for peace and healing.

Though, you are only human, and once you started to entertain those emotions, most of the time, it gets the better of you. It’s a risk. One may lead to being happy again, and the other might lead you to more heartbreaks and disappointments. For some, it is like opening a can of worms.

But then again, you will never know unless you give it a try right? Would you choose to stay angry for the rest of your life? Would you rather dwell in the past? Or would you like to start a new beginning?

If your going to ask me, I would choose the latter. So let me share with you some of the things that I have learned so far from my own experience.

It is okay to feel hurt. You have all the right to what you are feeling right now. It is okay to cry, or even scream. Let it all out. Once your done, make sure to wipe your tears, put some makeup on, stand and say to yourself, “Girl you got this!”

Even if you think that you got it all together, know that every once in a while it is okay to feel like the pain is still there. It is okay from time to time to think about it, healing doesn’t happen overnight. It is a process. It takes time. You don’t need to rush. Once the wound is fully healed, you’ll just smile to yourself and say for sure that “I am now okay”.

Learn to love yourself first. Take care of yourself. Dont deprive yourself just because you think you have given up. Dress up, put some makeup on. It is even okay to go to the gym and start a diet, just make sure that when you do this, it is for the right reasons. It is for your own well being. A chance for you to feel proud of yourself and not because you want to get back at someone. Remember, health is wealth. When you take care of your health, you are at your prettiest.

Keep yourself busy. When the mind is at work, you won’t have time for lingering thoughts. This is also good for your mental health. Go out, hang with your friends and family. You’ll feel better sooner than you expected.

Have a strong support group. Your close and trusted friends and family will always be there to support you. Don’t hesitate to talk to them. They will listen and love you no matter what. Talking about it will somehow lessen the burden.

Always try to keep calm. Being impulsive won’t do you any good. There’s a reason why the brain is placed above the heart. The heart sometimes makes you do or say things that you don’t really want and mean. When faced in extreme situations, take a deep breathe, ask the Lord for some guidance and think. Decisions are best made when you are not angry same goes if you are too happy. Remember too much of everything is also bad.

You are more than enough. Don’t think for a second that your not. Yes, we have our flaws, but that doesn’t give anyone the right to hurt, cheat and blame you for their own shortcomings and selfish desires. If you cheat on somebody you promised to be faithful to, then he is the problem, not you.

Pray for healing and Peace. God is always bigger than your problems. He is the only one that will understand you and he will never forsake you. Lift up everything to him as only he can give you healing and peace.

I’m sure that there are still a lot that I can say but let’s leave it at this for now. So to all my good ladies there with a good heart, one day, you’ll get what you deserve.

Keep up the faith. Your new beginning is just there, waiting for you to grab it. ❤️

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

As Long As You Love Me (Jimin x You ONESHOT)

Thanks for the request anon! I went overboard with 8k+ sorry! but drafting this really gives me the Jimin feels though. Serendipity is definitely my jam while writing this <3

A/N: As usual, keep the requests coming in guys! would love to hear from you.

MASTERLIST

As long as you love me As long as you love me

"So, when are you going to date me?"

Y/N try to hide her face with her long hair as the whole student body all around the university cafeteria is looking at her with their mouth wide open. Well, she would be too if she is not the one currently sitting on the opposite side of the table from Park Jimin. Yes, the Park Jimin from BTS. He is only wearing a dark sunglasses, mostly to cover his eyes from the bright sun rather than trying to hide his identity, which of course, make everyone in the university gaped in wonder.

What is Park Jimin doing here? And more specifically what is he doing with a girl like her?

Well, its to asked her to date him, for the gazzilionth time.

"Can you please stop coming here? People are staring. I dont like the attention!" Y/N hissed at the delusional idol in front of her. Jimin chuckled.

"Well baby, you better get use to it. Its going to be worse than this when we are officially together," he grinned "And I dont really care if people are staring. My baby is gorgeous and I'm proud to show her off to people," Y/N slammed her book shut and picked up her bag.

"Keep on dreaming Jimin. And I'm not your baby," she hissed and walked away.

"I'll pick you up after class baby!" Jimin yelled at her retreating back, laughing, which only gathered more attention from the other student who is closely watching the scene.

We're under pressure Seven billion people in the world trying to fit in

"Hey Chim. Where did you go?" Taehyung raised his head from the sofa when he heard the door unlocked.

"Probably stalking Y/N again," Jungkook answered on his behalf while scrolling through his phone, not even bothering to look up. Jimin dropped himself on the couch next to Jungkook, sighing.

"Really Chim? Did you go to see her at the university again? When are you going to stop tormenting her?" Taehyung has now changed his laying down position to face Jimin with a concerned face.

"Until she agrees to be my girlfriend," Jimin answered, short and to the point. Its a common knowledge for the boys, and well, most people who closely follow the news about Jimin that this idol is currently trying to chase down one university girl. Taehyung shakes his head.

"Why are you doing this? There are millions other people out there more than willing to date you. Why are you chasing the only one who doesnt want to?" Taehyung's brows furrowed with confusion. "Dont you remember that you are an idol? Isnt it better for you to date one of those girl group members who keeps passing you their phone numbers? Its what expected of us anyway,"

"Easy Tae," Jimin turned to look at his friend. "Because I love her," Taehyung sighed. He didnt know why he even bother to ask when Jimin will only give out the same answer everytime. "And as long as she loves me back, I dont care what other people think or what other people expected from me. I dont care about the pressure people are putting on me to be one half of a perfect idol couple. People are always trying to fit in, doing what they were expected to be instead of what's really making them happy Tae. I'm having none of that. All I want is Y/N, and for her to love me back,"

/////

But hey now, you know girl, We both know it's a cruel world But I will take my chances As long as you love me

"Really Y/N. I dont understand why you cant just agree to date me! I know for a fact that you like me too, and dont you dare lie to me about it," Jimin keeps on pressuring her as he follows her on her way back from class like he usually do. Y/N tried to ignored him as she make her way to the grocery store to get some supplies for her empty fridge, but of course its impossible with him following closely behind and buggging her like a whiny three year old.

"I never said I dont like you Jimin. I said I dont want to date you!" Y/N hotly yelled back.

"Oh?" Jimin raised an eyebrow and pull her arm, stopping her from walking further. "Is that right? You like me but just dont want to date me? Then dont date me. How about you marry me instead? I really dont mind baby, as long as you are mine I'm cool with anything," Jimin wiggle his eyebrows suggestively, making Y/N rolled her eyes as she released her arm from his grip.

"Urghh, its hopeless talking to you!" Y/N huffed in frustration and enter the store with Jimin following close behind.

"Okay then. Make me understand why! You know I love you Y/N. I love you and you love me too. Cant you just tell me whats stopping us from being together?" he pleaded as he looks at Y/N who has now stopped in her tracks and closing her eyes in frustration. No one has ever looked more beautiful than her in Jimin's eyes. God, he had never wanted anything more than he wanted Y/N to be his. His heart cant stop beating faster everytime he sees or everytime he only thinks about her and it definitely doesnt help that his mind wont stop thinking about her ever since she literally walked into him during that one fanmeet. Jimin had fallen in love at first sight with the girl who bumped into him and cause his coffee to spill all over herself, and falls even deeper once he gets to know her. He thought it wouldnt take long for them to finally be together since Y/N seems to reprocicate his feelings, agreeing whenever he invites her to hang out and constantly replying his texts and calls  But its been almost a year since then and she still havent agreed to officially be his. Its bad enough that Jimin cant always be with her, he is also tired of constantly feeling jealous when he sees Y/N with a bunch of her guys classmates walking to class together, or seeing photos of student parties she attended with boys by her side. Y/N is his and he wants everyone to know that.

"Fine. You want to know why? This is why!" Y/N groaned as she plucked a magazine from the stand in the store and slapped it onto his chest. Puzzled, Jimin quickly scan the magazine, reading the article Y/N has opened up for him.

BTS Perfect Match: Who will suit the boys the best?

Jimin slightly thumb through the article that talks about list of girl idols and celebrities that they think suited each and every one of the members. Jimin looked back up to Y/N's face.

"So? I dont understand what this got to do with us?" Y/N raised both her hands in frustration.

"Dont you understand? Those," she tapped the images of the girls, " are the kind of girls that is expected for you. Your perfect match! Not me! Not someone you met at a fanmeet! Not some undergraduate law student who skin will break out every exam season, lives on education loan and can only afford a packet of ramen a day! Your perfect match are those perfect girls. Cant you go chase after them instead?" Jimin laughs. A loud, long laugh, making the other customers to turn and look at the two of them.

"Seriously, you are so damn adorable. God, I love you so much," Jimin grins. Y/N placed both her hands on her hips.

"Jimin, I'm serious!"

"I am too Y/N. Seriously, is that the only reason why you dont want to be with me?" Jimin chuckled and raised his hand to carress her cheek. "Then let me explain this to you baby. One, I already told you I dont care what society expect of me. I dont care if they think those girls are best suited for me. You are the one I think is the best suited for me. As long as I have you, I really dont give a care in the world. Two, I did meet you at a fanmeet, but you are not my fan. Instead Yoongi-hyung is your bias," Jimin huffed at the unpleasant memory of seeing you speechless in front of his hyung when just a second before you were perfectly fine in front of him. "Number three, you are a student, so what? I'm proud that my girl is going to be a lawyer one day. Four, I still think you look the most beautiful even when you think your skin is breaking out. No one could ever be more beautiful than you. That is just not possible," he shakes both his head and his index finger. "Number five, I have money. I dont need a cent from you. I dont care if you have millions of student loan. You are going to pay them all back when you become a succesful lawyer anyway. And six, you need to eat? That's a reason you cant be with me? I will come and feed you everyday. I will feed you a whole cow everyday if you want. No matter how pack my schedule is, I will make sure you eat, if that is what it takes for you to seal the deal. And finally no, I cant and wont go around chasing those girls because I rather be chasing you instead," he destroyed all her useless reason single handedly with his answer. "Got any more excuses?"

"Jimin... that's not the point!"

"You are right. That is not the point. The point is I love you, and you love me too. So we should be together. Right now," Jimin clasped both of his hands with hers, eyes staring deep into hers, pleading.

"Jimin, the world is going to tear you down if you choose to be with me..." Y/N lowered her gaze. Yes, she admits she loves Jimin. The boy in front of her had successfully taken her heart since they met a year ago. She loves him so much that she's willing to give him up if it means she can protect him from everything bad in the world.

"Y/N, I'm not going to lie. The world is going to throw shit at us if, no, not if, when we are finally together. But I rather face all that than try to live in a world where you are not mine. I love you so much. Its not even funny how much I want you. I'm willing to go through anything to make us work. The world is cruel to those who are in love Y/N, but as long as you promise that you will be by my side, loving me, I'm willing to take that chance anytime," Jimin cupped her chin and raised her face up to look at him. "So what do you say? Will you take that chance with me?"

"Jimin..."

"Y/N..."

"Jimin... I..."

"Please?"

Silence.

"Okay,"

Keep it together, Smile on your face even though your heart is frowning

"Baby, its going to be okay," Y/N lets out a heavy breath. How can Jimin be so calm?

"Chim, what are we going to do?" Y/N paced around her living room. It has been about three months since she and Jimin were officially together and truth to be told, she had never been happier. Jimin was the perfect boyfriend. Always checking up on her, never letting her walk home alone, showing up with a tub of ice cream and a romantic movie whenever she's suffering from menstrual pain, late night coffee run when she needed a break while studying, and of course, the never ending kisses and cuddles. Their relationship was perfect, happy and hidden from the rest of the world, only for her and Jimin to enjoy.

But now the world has found out about the two of them. Y/N can already see the stream of hate mails and angry comments everywhere. Are they going to be okay? Will the company let them stay together? What if they dont? Y/N dont think she can handle living without Jimin now. And what if the company wants to make them officially public? Will their perfect little bubble burst open once they let the rest of the world into it? Will they survive this?

The company has called Jimin to meet up with them today, telling him to bring Y/N along. From what she heard from Jimin and the other boys, they dont sound happy.

"Its going to be okay Y/N. No matter what happen, I will never let you go. We will get through all of this together. As long as you keep on loving me and believe in my love for you, we will get through anything. I promise," Jimin grabbed her hand and kissed it. "I love you Y/N. Smile, you are prettier when you smile," he traced her lips as he smile at her. Despite being terrified and scared, Y/N couldnt help but flashed him a smile. How can she not? When Jimin looked so happy and calm, smiling down at her.

"I love you Jimin. I love you so much,"

We could be starving, we could be homeless, we could be broke As long as you love me

"I'm sorry Jimin, but I cant allow this. I need the two of you to break it off,"

The two of them are currently sitting in a room with the PD and three other managers from the company, as Jimin grabbed Y/N's hand to stop her from fiddling it nervously. Jimin flashed her a smile, trying to remind her that he will never let go. That everything is going to be okay. They are going to survive this. As long as they keep on loving each other.

Y/N's eyes lowered to her lap as she heard what the PD said. She had predicted this would happen. BTS is one of the biggest name in the country right now, there is no way they are going to let Jimin, or any of the boys, publicly have a girfriend. It will cause a storm in the fandom and Y/N really doesnt want to be the reason to cause Jimin any problems.

"No," was the short and final answer that came out from Jimin's mouth to the PD's request.

"Jimin..." the PD warned him.

"I'm sorry PD-nim, you can ask me to do anything else, but breaking up with Y/N is out of the question," Jimin insisted. Y/N lowered her gaze even more as she feel the four pair of eyes burning a hole in her. They see her as the source of the problem and Y/N cant help but wonder if they were right.

"Park Jimin!" One of the manager raised his voice at Jimin's stubborness. Never before in his years of being their manager the boys dared to speak back to him like this.

"Okay. Everyone calm down," the other manager cutted in, sensing the heavy tension in the room. "How about this then Jimin? How about you and Y/N lay low? We dont need to confirm your dating rumor or even break you two up, but cant you at least help us out a little?"

"What do you mean by laying low hyung?" Jimin raised an eyebrow, one hand still tightly clasping Y/N's hand as she kept quietly in her seat. She really just wants to go home and forget this whole evening ever happen.

"Maybe... not see each other for a while?" Jimin immediately shakes his head.

"That's not possible either. I'm not going to do that," Jimin rejected the idea straight away. Between his pack schedule and tours, they already dont have much time together as it is. There is no way in hell he is going to spend time away from Y/N more than neccessary. Even if he wanted to make the situation better, he dont think his heart is able to do it. He take a glimpse at the terrified Y/N. Even under all this circumstances, Y/N still manages to make him smile. God, even he dont know why this particular girl have so much effect on him.

"Jimin, you are not helping here," the managers sighed in frustration. They are just going around in circle, and at this rate surely nothing can be concluded.

"Dont you get it? You having a girlfriend right now is not ideal! You and your members are one of the most wanted idol in the industry right now. Your fans will be devastated. You will lose fans. Some might even start to hate you. And she," the manager points to Y/N, "is going to get a lot of hate Jimin. Cant you understand this?" Jimin nodded.

"I understand perfectly hyung. But I'm willing to go through anything and everything as long as I can be with Y/N," the four men sighed in frustration at Jimin's respond. After a moment of silence, the PD pushed his chair with a screeched, standing up and looking at Jimin one last time before walking out.

"Fine. Have it your way then. But dont say we didnt warned you Jimin,"

I'll be your soldier, fighting every second of the day for your dreams girl So don't stress, don't cry, we don't need no wings to fly Just take my hand

Things have never been worse for the two of them. Everything Y/N had predicted that will happen if they got together happened. And other worst things too. Out of all the things that she predicted will happen, what she doesnt expect the most is how Jimin's own band members stop supporting his decision to continue dating her.

The hate mail, hate comments, death threats, attempts in hurting her to try to get her to stop dating Jimin; yes, it all hurts her, but its all tolerable. Y/N even received a dead bird and rat in her mailbox a few times, but she quietly just disposed it without telling Jimin. Anything the world throw at her, she will take it. Its all worth it if it means she gets to be with Jimin in return. All of these were nothing to her, because she was on the receiving end and not Jimin.

It becomes too much for her when she heard first hand how the other members talked to Jimin about her. Dont get her wrong, they love him. Its her that they hate. The girl who ruined their brother's life.

"I dont see what's so special about her that you are fighting this hard for her Jimin. Your fans are upset. Cant you see that?" Yoongi shakes his head.

"Yeah. They never shouted at us before Jimin, this is the first time it ever happen. Dont you care about what they think?" Jin supported what Yoongi just said, referring to the recent events when the fans actually chanted at their concert for Jimin to leave Y/N during his solo performance.

"Jimin, I know right now it seems like Y/N is the best thing that's happening to you. But dont you remember what you had worked hard for all these years? Are you really willing to destroy all that just for some girl?" Namjoon try a different approach by reasoning with him. Jimin is a reasonable person, he would listen right?

"I hear what all of you are saying hyungs. But I'm sorry, I cant give her up. All this will pass. Our fans will get over it," Jimin answered back quietly. Y/N who has been listening quietly from her room feels her heart breaks at Jimin's defeated voice. The boys had come over for a visit, and thinking Y/N is still sleeping since she fell sick since a few days ago, they start to talk about the real reason why they were there. Little do they know that Y/N has been listening to them all this while.

"Chim... you know I love you right?" Taehyung suddenly spoke after the boys stayed quiet at Jimin's answered. "We have always been through everything together since our trainee years. It hurts me to see you hurt and unhappy Chim.  I thought you said this relationship makes you happy, but it doesnt seem like it anymore. Is it all really worth it?" Taehyung placed a hand on Jimin's thigh, asking for an answer.

"I am happy Tae. I'm happy when I'm with her. Its what the world is throwing at us that makes me upset," Jimin raised his head to look at Taehyung and turn to see the rest of his brothers seated around the room with gloomy faces. "And it makes me sad that I dont have the support from you guys," he lowered his gaze.

"You know I always support you Chim. In whatever you do, I will always have your back," Taehyung replied back quietly. "But as much as we care about you... I hope you care about us too. Please remember that your decision hurts us too," he added softly before each and every one of them gets up and leave the apartment. Y/N slide down the door of her bedroom, shattered with tears after listening to what Taehyung said. Out of everybody she knows Jimin loves, its a fact that he values Taehyung's opinions the most. Taehyung is his best friend, his soulmate. Taehyung never really interferes with most things thats happening around him, always minding his own business, but once he decides its time to say something, Y/N knows it will hit home.

And the fact that Kim Taehyung told Jimin that his decision makes it seems like he doesnt care about them and hurts all of them too, she knows that it will break his heart to pieces.

Its time for her to speak up and do something about it.

She has to end this.

/////

"Chim? Can we talk?" Y/N fiddled with her fingers nervously. Its been hours since the boys left and the two of them are now watching a movie together while eating some take out. Jimin smile through his food and turned to her.

"Of course you can baby. What is it?"

"I...urm.. are you happy?" Jimin immediately sat down his takeout box and turned his body to her.

"Of course I am. You know I'm happiest when I'm with you Y/N. Why are you even asking me this? Is something bothering you?" Y/N turned his gaze away from him.

"I.. I heard your conversation with the boys," Jimin immediately grabbed her hand.

"Y/N. What they said doesnt matter. I-"

"It matters to me Jimin," Y/N cutted him off. Its time for Jimin to listen to her now. "I think what they are saying is right," she spoke so softly while looking into his eyes. "You think you are happy with me, but I dont think you are anymore. I know how much you value their opinions Chim, and knowing you are hurting them must hurt you. I know it is," Y/N insisted when Jimin tried to protest. Jimin sighed.

"I hate how I can never lie to you. You knew me too well Y/N," Jimin runs his hand over his face. "But that is also what I love the most about you. You gets me in a way that no one can, and I cant loose you. I love you. I need you to be with me Y/N," Jimin sounded so defeated.

Y/N had never once cried, despite all the hate and shit that has been thrown at her. Jimin's love had always made her strong. But not this time. Jimin is hurting, and its killing her.

"Hey, hey. Dont cry Y/N. I know everything doesnt seems like it now. But it will be,"

"How can I not Jimin?" Y/N wailed. "You are hurting. And I hate that I'm the cause of it,"

"Baby... dont say that," he wiped her tears. "You dont understand. You think I'm hurting. And maybe at some point you were right. But baby, everybody hurts sometimes. That's what makes us human. That's what makes us feel. That's what make us love better. Its what makes me love you better,"

"I dont want you to lose anything because of me Jimin. I feel like I'm clipping your wings, holding you back from achieving something much more wonderful," she sniffled. Jimin's words made a mark on her and she knows that even if one they were not fated to be together, right now, she believes Jimin truly loves her.

Y/N gave him a look when Jimin chuckle. How can he even thought of smiling in this situation?

"Holding me back? You? How is that even possible baby?" He chuckled louder. He turned his body completely, locking eyes with hers. "You dont need to think about things like that. Dont stress yourself out with things that is not even possible. And dont you ever cry again because of me. If you feel like you are clipping my wings, then let me tell you this. I dont need wings to fly Y/N. All I need is you. So promise me that you will take my hand now and love me forever, and I am already flying higher than any angel in heaven," Jimin chuckle lightly and pinched her cheeks. "My adorable crybaby. I love you,"

"I love you too Jimin," Y/N whispered as she hugged him tight before planting a deep long kiss on his lips.

I don't know if this makes sense, but you're my hallelujah

Y/N thought everything is finally going well after their talk the other day but she obviously thought wrong when she opened her door to revealed six faces looking at her.

"Hey...hey guys. Come in," Y/N open the door wider to let them in, which they did in silent.

"Jimin is not here,"

"We know. He's sleeping at the dorm. We told him we are taking a break from practice," Jin answered with a serious tone. Y/N just nodded and motioned for them to sit in her crammed living room.

"I think you know why we are here," Namjoon tries to start the conversation.

"Ye...yeah. I have an idea. But guys, Jimin and me already talked. And I dont think its my place to discuss this with all of you,"

"If you and Jimin are still together, then it doesnt matter if you have talked!" Yoongi harshly interjects, making her flinched at his cold tone.

"Hyung!" Taehyung sent him a glare. "Dont be so harsh on her. We are here to talk to her remember?"

"Tae's right hyung. Calm down," Namjoon try to soothe the situation. "We are sorry Y/N. You know how Yoongi hyung usually is," Y/N nodded.

"But really Y/N, we are here to ask you, no, to beg you, to break this relationship off," Jin bluntly state their real intention, catching Y/N off guard. How is she supposed to respond to that?

"Hyung!" Namjoon warned him before turning to Y/N. "What Jin-hyung is trying to say Y/N, is that we need your help to do this. Jimin sure as hell wont do it. But your relationship is hurting him Y/N. Its hurting the both of you and you can see it too," Namjoon explained. "Jimin is constantly emotionally and physically tired.  He used to look so happy performing on stage, now the fans are always chanting for him to leave you Y/N. He lost all desire to even perform, his passion! How is that healthy for him Y/N?"

Y/N nibbled on her bottom lip.

"Please Y/N. Even I cant help to cheer him up anymore. This relationship is making him more miserable than its making him happy," Hoseok pouts.

"Yes noona. Jimin hyung is no longer himself. Its weird," Jungkook finally speaks up. Y/N just lowered her eyes to her lap. What is she supposed to do now?

"Y/N... you know its nothing personal on you right?" Taehyung walked over and took a seat beside her. "We would ask the same thing if it happens to any one of us. We do this because we care about Jimin. We know the two of you love each other very much, but right now is just not the right time. Y/N, if your love for each other is really true, doesnt that means you will be together again someday?" Taehyung held her hand. "We are not asking you to not be with Jimin forever. Hell, we think you are the perfect match for him. You are the only girl that can make him chase you for a whole year!" Taehyung laughs making Y/N let out a small smile at the memory. "But we just need you to return our Jimin back to us for now. Dont let him waste something he has worked so hard for just for him to ended up regretting choosing your relationship over it one day," Taehyung added softly.

"I think we have made our point here. The rest is up to you Y/N," Namjoon nodded at her before motioning for the rest of the boys to leave.

Y/N didnt leave her spot on the couch even after they were long gone. Their words kept repeating in her head and after thinking things through for the millionth time, she finally makes her decision as she wiped a stray tear from her eyes.

/////

"Arghhhh," Jimin threw her phone on his bed and run both of his hand through his hair.

"What's wrong hyung?" Jungkook peeks his head through his door.

"I tried calling Y/N for the whole damn day but she's not picking up! My texts to her is not even delivered! I went to her house last night but I cant get in, she changed her lock code without telling me! What the hell is happening Kookie? Why is she avoiding me? She was fine the day before. What could have happened between 48 hours? What did I do?!" Jungkook gulped as he turns to look at Taehyung who is also nervously listening from the living room.

Oh, they know very well what had happened all right. Apparently Y/N immediately decides to take action right after their visit, disconnecting all communication with Jimin without giving him a single reason or space to talk her out of it. But there is no way Jungkook is going to tell Jimin that. Sure, he might be the strong golden maknae, but no one will be able to withstand a punch on the face from a man in love. So nope, Jungkook is definitely not going to be the one who's going to tell him.

"Maybe she's busy hyung. Isnt it exam season soon?" Jungkook try to reason, hoping Jimin would believe him.

"No. It cant be. No matter how busy she is before, she never cut me off like this," Jimin suddenly turn to face the maknae, eyes bewildered. "What if she's breaking up with me Jungkook?!"

"Urm..ah.. why would she do that hyung? I dont think she would. There's no reason for it... right?" Jungkook is starting to really regret coming in to ask Jimin if he's alright earlier as nervous sweats starts to lined his forehead. Lucky for him, Jimin is too disheveled to noticed how guilty he looks.

"I dont know! We had a talk the other day. She seems like she wanted to but I convinced her otherwise. I thought we are okay! Damn it, I shouldnt have left her in the house alone!"

"Give it a few days hyung. Maybe she's really is busy," Jungkook tries to calm his hyung down although he knows its definitely not true. Jimin sat himself down on his bed.

"Maybe you are right. I will try to call her again later," Jungkook gave him a small smile and quickly left the room, leaving Jimin alone waiting for the next suitable time for him to try again.

Its been two weeks. And he still havent hearf from Y/N. And Jimin is going crazy.

Why is Y/N doing this to him? He cant focus on anything else. He just need some sort of answer from Y/N. Where is she? Is she okay? What had happened?

His phone beeped while he was laying down curled into a ball on his bed and he quickly picked it up to see a text from Y/N. Like a mad man, he hastily clicked open the text. He's not even angry at her, only relieved at this point. He just need to know what happened to her. But what he reads is not what he had all expected.

Stop contacting me Jimin. I'm sorry, but we are over. I am ending this.

The phone dropped from his hand as he slowly stood up, his body having a mind of its own and went to his table, swiping everything to the floor as am attempt to release his frustration and anger. His computer, lamp, papers, books, everything now lay broken on the floor besides him, who is down on his knees with continuous tears streaming down his face, sobbing till his shoulders shakes uncontrollably.

Its over. Y/N had finally had enough and decided to stop loving him. Its really over.

Jimin has always prided in himself for being a tough guy. Crying, especially over love and a girl is definitely not what he used to, but at this current moment, he felt his whole world just crushes down and he has no other strength left except than to cry.

From his opened bedroom door, six pair of eyes witness the heartbreaking scene and look at each other, silently asking one another if they really did the right decision.

Girl you know I got you Us, trust A couple of things I can't spell without you

The boys thought Jimin would get better in time but boy, were they wrong. They knew Jimin had hit rock bottom when during one of their performance where they stop to talk to their fans, Jimin suddenly snatched the microphone.

"Y/N broke up with me. Are you guys happy now?" The fans scream, thinking that Jimin is just teasing them. He lets out a humourless laughter. The other boys try to snatched the microphone from him, sensing something strange, but to no avail. "You guys happy to hear that? Is is a good news for you?" The fans scream even louder although he can hear a few 'No' here and there. "You know, Y/N is my everything," the other boys looked at each other in worry. Namjoon quickly made his way beside Jimin and hissed at him.

"Jimin, stop this!"

"Why hyung?" Jimin spoke through the microphone, making Namjoon stand there akwardly. "They wanted me to break things off with Y/N. And she did. They got what they wanted. Isnt it time for they to finally listen to me instead?" The crowd went silent when they realized what is happening. Jimin is breaking down, and it is not part of an act. "I love Y/N," he turned back to the crowd. "And she loves me too. Well, atleast until all of you convinced her not to," he lets out a sinister laugh. "With her by my side I can do anything. Anything at all. Nothing can get me down, as long at the end of the day I know that she still loves me. But look at me now. I'm completely nothing without her. I hope all of you are happy. Congratulations, you got your Park Jimin back," he dropped the microphone and leave the stage, leaving the crowd speechless at what just happened.

Jimin little stunt went viral in a short amount of time, making netizens everywhere and supportive ARMYs to critisized the too obsessed fans to stop thinking that they own their idol and let them live their life as a normal human being. After seeing how broken Jimin has become, fans and the boys alike are starting to understand the mistake they made by forcing Jimin to break things off with Y/N. All these revelations didnt mean a thing to Jimin, not if he didnt get Y/N back, standing in front of him, telling hin she still loves him.

Jimin locked himself in his room most of the time since that day, not bothering to show up to practice or attending any shows, which causes the management, the boys and even the fans to worry. Jimin ended up suffering from an extremely high fever, thanks to the emotional exhaustion and stressed he faced since losing Y/N. A fever so severe that when Y/N stood in front of him in his room, he thought he is dreaming.

"You are not dreaming Jimin. Its really me," she swiped his sweaty hair off his forehead.

"Y/N? Y/N! You are back! You came back to me!" Jimin quickly got up from his laying down position with a sudden burst of energy, pulling her into a hug. Seeing Jimin's condition is just too much for Y/N too handle. He looks like a mad man who had lost everything. Well, maybe to Jimin, he believed he had.

"Jimin, why are you doing this to yourself? You are supposed to be happier! Reaching for things you cant have when you are with me! That's the whole reason why I left Jimin," Y/N cant stop herself from crying.

"Shhh. Dont cry. I'm okay now. I'm okay now that you are here," Jimin smile as he runs his fingers softly through Y/N's hair. The first smile that graced his face since the last few weeks.

"Stop doing this to yourself Jimin. You are supposed to take care of yourself. You are supposed to fly higher without me!" Y/N is full on sobbing, hitting her tiny hands repeatedly on his toned chest. Jimin catch her arms to stop her.

"I already explained to you multiple times Y/N. And I'm going to tell you again. I cant do anything without you. I cant trust anyone without you. I cant love without you. I am nothing without you. I told you that I can face anything anybody throw at me, as long as you told me you love me Y/N. As long as you stay by my side. What part of me loving you cant you undestand?!" Jimin grabbed both of her arms and shake her, trying to make her see. Jimin's soft eyes suddenly filled with frustration, fear and anger as he looks into hers.

"Tell me you love me Y/N. Tell me right now that you still love me and you will always love me. Tell me you love me or get out from here and dont come and see me again!" His voice low and cold. "If I cant have all of your love then I dont want any other parts of you. So tell me you love me right now or dont come back again," Jimin pleaded like a madman, begging and crying for Y/N to tell him something he wants to hear again and again. With wide eyes Y/N listen to Jimin's rambling. Did she really hurt him to the point he cant trust anymore? She grabs a handful of his shirt in her tiny hands and buried her head in his chest.

"I love you. I love you Jimin. God, I love you so much," Y/N is full blown crying as her tears soaked through his thin shirt. "I'm sorry Jimin. I'm so so sorry," Jimin grabbed her face tightly with both hands, turning her to look into his wet eyes with her own teary ones.

"I forgive you Y/N. God I will forgive anything that you do as long as you tell me that you love me. I fucking love you so much baby," he slammed his lips against her to capture hers in a hungry kiss. Tounges intertwined with each ofher as their tears wont stop streaming, wetting each other faces even more.

Caught up with a mixture of feelings, frustration, lust, anger, love, they both know that this is it. This is their end. They wont ever let anything break them apart anymore.

Never again.

Now we are on top of the world, 'cause that's just how we do

News of Jimin's and Y/N's reconcilement spread like wildfire. Fans are starting to see Jimin slowly returning to his old happy self again and this time they were glad Y/N is somehow a part of it. From being the most hated couple, the two of them become the most adored couple, Jimin's fans finally understanding that Y/N makes him happy, and that they should be happy for him too. Y/N has never felt happier. Their relationship is stronger than ever and they are finally at the top of the world, soaring high into the sky. Jimin was right, they dont need wings to fly, they just need each other.

Man now we stepping out like whoa Camera's point and shoot

Their relationship has been the talked of the town. Everybody is buzzing about how pure and romantic the love between the two is when they think about how Jimin actually went crazy when he lost Y/N. Being in the eye of the public might something Jimin is used to but Y/N is still feeling akward with all the attention. She kept pulling at her clothes and slicking back her hair whenever they were out and all eyes were on them. Jimin thinks that is the most adorable thing in the world.

"Baby, stop," he grabbed both of her hands, locking it with his to stop her from fiddling with her dress. "You look beautiful. You always do. There was never a moment that you dont,"

"You are my boyfriend Chim! Your opinion is biased so it doesnt count. You always think I look beautiful. You said I look gorgeous when I was sick with snort running down my face!"

"That's because its true!" Jimin huffed.

"No its not! But really Chim, I already told you before, I'm not used to all these attention. Look at all the cameras pointing and shooting at us. Can I just not come with you next time?" Y/N plead. Jimin shakes his head and pouts.

"No way. These events are my chance to show you off to the world. Look at the jeaolus looks my hyungs are giving me. They wish they have a girl, but no one would date their crazy ass," he smirked as he pointed to the rest of the members who are waving at the fans behind them while giving the couple various kinds of looks. "And Y/N, I also have told you before that you better get used to it because you are meant to be my girlfriend," he whispered so close to her ear, his warm breath giving her chills. Y/N bite her lips and look at her handsome boyfriend. God, how did she get so lucky. To get someone like him to love her this much. Looking at him waving to the fans and striking a pose for he camera, Y/N found her courage as he held her hand and she knows as long as Jimin loves her, there's nothing she cant possibly handle.

Ask me what's my best side, I stand back and point at you, you

The event was a small private event. Only invited fans and media were attending as its a tiny ceremonial party to celebrate Bangtan's astonishing achievement for the year. When the time comes for the boys to give their speech, Y/N proudly sat at table looking as her boyfriend went up the stage, looking as handsome as ever in his suit with his six other members. Jimin was the the last to talk and he managed to catch her eye and smile at her when he took the mic.

"I think everybody knows its been a rollercoaster year for me. But I'm glad I have these six amazing guys to walk this journey with me. And to our fans, thankyou for always believing in us. We wouldnt be here if it werent for your support," he paused as the fans screamed. Y/N felt so proud. "But I had also been at my lowest this year. And I'm sorry for showing you that side of me. But I promised you are only going to see the best of me from now on, because I have found the best side of me and she's sitting right there," he points to Y/N. She quickly dropped her head as the crowd turn to look at her, 'aww' and cooing sounds are heard everywhere. Jimin knows she hates attention, why is he doing this to her? To make it worse, Jimin start walking down the stage and walk towards her. "And that's why tonight, in front of everyone that is important to me," he kneeled down in front of her.

"Jimin, stop. What are you doing?" She hissed at him, which he only replied with a grin.

"I want to ask Y/N to marry me,"

The crowd gasps, except for the six boys who smile fondly and smirking on stage, already well informed of Jimin's plans. In fact they were the one who helped to plan it.

"So L/N Y/N, will you help to bring out the best side of me forever by being my wife?" Jimin took out a shiny diamond ring from his coat pocket. Y/N was silenced as she was surprised beyond belief, making the crowd to start chanting, "say yes, say yes!"

"They are asking you to say yes Y/N and I strongly believe that you should," he grinned. His voice snapped her out from her shocked and she finally nodded as she jumped and linked her arms around Jimin's neck.

"Yes. Yes I will. Of course I will Park Jimin!"

So I know we got issues baby, true But I'd rather work on this with you Than to go ahead and start with someone new As long as you love me

"Do you think we are moving too fast?" Y/N asked as she lays with her back on Jimin's chest, looking at the glistening ring on her finger.

She's engaged!

She's Park Jimin's fiance. And she cant believed it.

Jimin leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "Absolutely not. In fact, I think we are moving too slow," he chuckled when Y/N turned to slapped him on the chest.

"I'm serious Jimin. We havent known each other long. What if you wake up one day and find me annoying or feel that you love me less? What will happen then?" Jimin smiled softly and turned her body to him, making Y/N ended up straddling him.

"I'm not going to say that we wont ever have issues or problems baby. Every couple does. But I swear to you that whatever problem we face we will solved it together," he starts to give her neck slow soft kisses. "I rather work with whatever problems I have with you than lose all this and start all over again with someone new," he kissed her nose. "I give you my promise right now that I wont give up on you. Ever," he leaned his head closer as Y/N tighten her arms around his neck.

"Just as long as you still love me," he whispered one last time before finally closing their lips together.

[leopheart]

12/1/16

I said "I love you" for you to know. Not to hear it back and I could reapeat it a lot of times. I'd even prove it , well actually I did , and I could do much more than that. But something's not right when I say those words. I wont mind. When I pulled you close , I didnt care about the thorns. All of it pierced right through my heart . Why did I let that happend ? because I was about to run but your tears called me and asked me to stay , you looked at me and I've heard you , but you said it wasnt me. Yeah, it hurts so bad ,it shattered my heart to pieces , but still I smiled at you even though I'm bleeding . Everytime , I hold you close , I bleed and the thorns gets deeper and deeper . I didnt care . When I hold you, my head starts screaming "You shouldnt be doing this WTF are you doing" . But the funny thing was , I still listen to my heart . I pulled you close even more. Cause I dont care what would hurt me , all I care about was you .

I wanted to go parks, museum , sea side , parties , beach , and watch every single movie with you.I want to ride every single ride in the carnival with you the ferris wheel , frisbee , star flyer , EXtreme , well you name it. If you'd prefer movie marathon at home , star gazing or just a dinner near the lake , Im up for that too . As long as I'm with you. Actually , I've been to this places , they were great but I'd bet it would be awesome if I were with you.I'd really want to discover a lot of fun stuff having you near me. When something goes right you're the first person I'd think of Like ,when I got new jokes and stories to tell. You're the first that should hear them.

In the future ,we all gonna be busy and maybe this whole stuff wont matter anymore.I want to spend time with you , I want to make memories I could look back to and realize, "yes, I was there with you that time, that feeling and it was one of the best time of my life" cause you were there.I dont want what ifs to ruin my mind . Like "what if you were there with me " "what if I had taken the chance". Cause I know if I'd ever look back in future , (I'd never remember the thorns , it'll just teach me some lessons) All that I would remember was those great memories with you.

But...maybe...we both deserve better than that...

We deserve better...you deserve better. No wait , you deserve THE BEST. Not just someone who's good at telling you how they feel ,not just someone , who holds your hand in morning and then left you by night , not just someone who's just good at writing letters , not just someone who's good with flowery words , not just someone who tweets/texts/chats good stuff with you. Not just someone who'd hug and kiss you every single day. I could do all of this , we could've done this , I'd even give it my best shot if you'd ask me to. But no , you deserve better than that.

In the future when we're wiser , smarter , succesful , when we both have reached our goals , got our dream job . Maybe , you'd find the person , the one you'd be with , the one that'll prove to you what real love is ,the person you'd spend your future with the one you'll ride every single ride in the carnival , maybe have a dinner beside the lake , see the eiffel tower , have a selfie with big ben , climb the mount everest with (HA-HA), experience the amazing beach in Hawaii. (All those stuff I wanted to do with you). HA-HA The person who'd you want to hold your hand forever , the person who'll you'll kiss slowly , you'll roll to bed with and cuddle with each other , the person who'd lay beside you every night and makes you coffee every morning. The person you'd stick with through ups and down. The person you'd risk your heart.

( Oh, I wish that was me 😂 but... if ever)

When you find that person , say hi from me ok? . And you'll gonna say exactly what I'm going to write.

" I love you , I really do , in the most unexplainable way.I love you , I swear I'd prove it everyday , every night . Every summer , every fall , every winter , I love you. Even if we hate each other , I love you. Even if we've faced the whole world I would still love you. Whatever happens , I'll always love you"

And one last thing , if....we ever meet or see each other in future. If we'd pass by each other or if I got bump in to you .Please be the first to call my name . Say it out loud so I could look back and smile at you . Ok? please.. and promise me you'd introduce me to the person who holds your heart that time. 😊

-Unsent

[thiamfresh]

4, 9, 12, 14, 21, 24, 28, 30 -love rux

4. What villian do you believe is most worthy for a redemption ark?

If we’re talking about ones who’ve had it and i thought deserved it then ZUKO.

If we’re talking those who have yet to have one and i think they should.

Billy Hargrove. And stick with me here because I know he’s a piece of shit but I have a reason for this.

Okay so, Billy he’s really a kid. He’s what 16-17 should he know better than to be a piece of shit? yes. Does he? clearly fucking not but really, not that many people do at that age. 

Young people do shitty things, and i’m not saying it’s okay, or that his abusive bullshit is in anyway normal, but also…I get it. Hurting someone else can feel good when you’re hurting and it’s easy to let your pain overshadow everyone elses and think making yourself feel better takes president to being a decent fucking human being. (it doesn’t, dont be a dick)

Now i’m going to go of kinda fannon here so bare with me. Neil Hargrove is abusive, he used homophobic slurs against his son and is widly suspected of being a racist piece of shit and currently, Billy is his mini me and we shouldn’t like him, he doesn’t deserve to be liked, getting abused doesn’t cancel out the shitty things he does and the (not so subtle)  undertones of racism his character shows.

So why redeem this piece of shit?

Because. Stranger things is an extremely fucking popular show set in a time that, unfortunately, isn’t so different to the current climate of the world. Everything is going to shit, racism and homophobia are prevalent. It’s a show that not only draws the eyes of adults but kids. It’s a show that is setting examples for the youth of today with these characters who match their ages and are open about their emotions.

Kids will be watching it and seeing themselves as ou beautifully nerdy little heros.

And i bet you also have kids watching it who see themselves in Billy. You’ll have those kids who (again we’re going into the fanon of possibilities of season 3 and a Billy redemption) will look at Billy agreeing with his fathers disgusting world views, or at the very least not arguing against them. 

Now, you could have that end two ways. Number one, you could have Billy not question his dad, continue down the path of piece of shit and no doubt end up dying a gruesome death or getting his arse kicked by our heros again and returning home to get the same treatment from Neil.

Or, You could show the story of a kid  following his fathers views for the majority of his childhood turning around and learning and accepting. You could have a character that shows kids in situations similar to his that their is a way through all the anger and pain. that there is friendship to be had if they’re willing to open themselves up enough to see that we’re all the same and that everyone deserves to be treated with respect.

and it’s 6am so this is coming out nowhere near as coherent as i want to explain it. but i just think, characters like Billy, they don’t get redemption arks because they don’t ‘deserve’ them. They’re old enough to know i’s wrong, they’ve done this in the pst and blah blah blah and yeah, it’s true. but, fuck, i don’t care if you’re 17 or 57. Things like Racism and homophobia are learned. It’s ignorance. And to show a story about someone overcoming their ignorance and putting their crap aside for long enough to learn is important. 

A story of someone like Billy being brave enough to tell his father to fuck off and learn tolerance and acceptance is something we need. IT’s a story that may well resonate better with young kids in conservative households listening to their parents using slurs and spreading hate. It’s a story that says it doesn’t matter how you were brought up, you are in control of your own life, you make your choices and you can choose whether to be a piece of shit or a decent human being.

And it teaches those all ready open minded people that someones past, although it does hold weight, it doesn’t define them. That saying and doing shitty things doesnt mean you can never change, just because someone has said or done something ignorant and wrong in the past doesn’t mean they can never learn to be accepting.

In conclusion, is he worthy? No. Should he get it anyway..yeah, honestly, id be up for showing that you can out grow ignorance and that theres a way out of the ideals your family istilled in you other than like death or epic humiliation like most shows do to these types of characters.

9. What were you almost named as a baby?

My Mum really wanted to name me Tyranny. Like..yeah…wow. She says it sounds pretty, me and my brother will forever shame her for it. But my brother was almost called Xaiver only saved because my mum ‘couldn’t pronounce it’ so honestly, I think I had the better end of the almost name stick.

12. Favourite smell

My best friends clothes. I don’t know what he uses but fucking hell it smells so good. He sent me an old top of his last year and i slept with it over my ace or like a week because his clothes always just smell so fucking good. The smell hasn’t changed since we were 12 either. It’s ust iuhgihirh so good. Like spicy pine or something idk, whatever it is it has my soul.

14. How many friends do you have that don’t live in the same country as you?

Close close friends i’d say like 5. Then i have another like 15 that i love and want to meet but we don’t talk quite as much as those like main 5.

21. How many people have you thought “Glad I don’t have to interact with them ever again” about?

Like 348 (my school class minus my best friend). No but seriously, i don’t think i’ve every really thought that? There are loads of people i’m so very glad i won’t have to interact with for long periods of time, but I still wanna keep them facebook friends so if i ever become succesful and pretty i can dangle it in their faces.

oh actually, when i was a kid i had this babysitter who’d padlock me and my brother into the room we were in and i was super happy when i realised i’d never see her again.

24. Whats the strangest website you have bookmarked?

I don’t have many weird things bookmarked tbh?? I have ‘a history of children’’ and 3 taps in a row of 100+ plastic test tubes on ebay but they’re all pretty normal, just fanfic and publishing agencies i’ve submitted too.

28. What is the coolest name that you would never name a real human child?

Duude, i’m up for calling my child Sirius Nagini, so like…i don’t really have many limits.

30.How do you feel about snails?

I fucking love snails. They’re so chill, they’re just wandering around, doing their own thing, eating and lounging in the rain. I once found a snail on my bed and i adopted that little uck or like eight hours, he just sat on my hand while i typed, moved around tracing lil slime circles on my hand. Loved tht little fucked, i was heartbroken when i had to take him outside. Found him a nice patch of leaves to chill on though. Whenever i step on a snail accidentally because it’s dark and i’’m not looking and i hear that crunch a bit of my soul gets chipped away. I’ve cried more than once because I stepped on a snail.

[klaudiafmp]

Space Empires / Colonisation

A part of the story in my comic will involve an alien race mass attacking another alien planet, for that stereotypical Independance Day alien take over. Then the aliens getting attacked will make first contact with Earth to warn them of what’s comming to them. And basically I thought to myself about all the sci-fi alien things I’ve ever watched and came to the conclusion that if they are invading like 9 /10 times in movies or shows there will be an empire behind them, and they usually attack in the first place to either harvest Earth as in either kill the people and use the planet as their own or steal our resources. Something like that. Also very often the aliens have a fatal flaw of a mothership or a mother alien creature and if she dies all the aliens drop dead all of a sudden, and I know that I definitely want to avoid this trope. I probably won’t have enough time to even explore it in the first place as I’ll only draw few pages of the comic. But anyway I wanted to take a look at some of alien races and their space empires to get a closer look of their stereotypes and what makes them different from each other and what cliches ( like the mothership) they all follow.

The most obvious space empire I can think of is the Star Wars Galactic Empire. And being honest it doe’s follow the trope of a mothership via Death Star and does have a singular leader - The Emperor, but being honest unlike a lot of science fiction movies their entire empire did not collapse after the destruction of the first or the second death stars. And neither did they stop after the emperor got killed, which is quite interesting because a lot of movies don’t explore what happens after the main story events, and by a lot of other movies logic when the death star got destoyed the empire would be no more. Meanwhile here no matter what happened there would always be people that were loyal to their cause and did not immiediately switch sides or see what was wrong with what they were doing. 

The way of control this empire has is not your stereotypical alien invasion, mostly sending soldiers onto the planets, giving them a choice of you either join us or we’ll make you join, and potentionally blowing up the whole planet if they couldn’t be bothered to deal with them. They were also shown to take slaves and kill their own soldiers if they had to. 

The Galra Empire from Voltron Legendary Defender is kind of similar as in they have a singular leader figure - also an Emperor and a single base, and here too after the base got destroyed and their leader was killed the empire did not fall apart. They actuall had this cool trial like ceremony where the stronges general that would prove his strengh by defeating all the other generals in combat would become the new emperor, and even though the next emperor won fairly in that trial he was infact the son of the old emperor which kind of hints that the empire has a line of succesion and isn’t as democratic as it claims to be. 

I really like how here the empire isn’t really brainless like in a lot of science fiction media where the heroe’s have to defeat a faceless army because ‘evil’. Here a lot of the generals admirals and even plain soldiers are shown to have personality, have names and relations to other character which makes the viewer sympathetic towards them even if their overall trait, as in the entire empire is fascism, proven by the fact they destroy planets and take slaves from them as well as on many occasions claim other alien races are lesser than them, even towards people who are mixed species of their own race and another alien type.

“The Harvesters are a race of sapient, spacefaring aliens which travel from planet to planet like a galactic swarm of locusts, devouring each world's natural resources before moving to the next one, bringing their entire civilization in massive ships. “

“The Harvesters are little more than nomadic looters. They do possess far superior technology, including enormous fleets of ships; defense fields to prevent missiles from reaching their ships' hull; highly destructive weaponry and protective biomechanic suits. When invading an inhabited planet, the aliens' military tactics consist of large-scale attacks, destroying the major cities around the globe simultaneously and then heading to the next largest, presumably going on until there is nothing left.”

The Harvesters are your very typical, cliche alien race made up of a faceless army of aliens in disposable quantities, and a death of their space ship or even the entire colony has no meaning to the viewer, the plot or even their fellow aliens. They also have a queen who serves as their mother who is a lot bigger and stronger than they are (a lot like Aline) and once she dies they all die. And although the aliens have technology much more advanced than the humans do they also follow the cliche of ‘the ship has a fatal flaw’ as well as ‘it can only be destroyed from the inside out’ that happens in so many movies and shows. Overall this alien species is so clich and stereotpical you might say this one is what people base their own cliche aliens of off.

“The Horde was founded by Horde Prime at some point in the ancient past, though its exact origins remain somewhat mysterious. Using an armada of spaceships, the Horde traveled through space conquering world after world and expanding their empire.  Horde Prime used clones of himself as soldiers in his armada. A clone who was Horde Prime's greatest general was declared defective by Horde Prime so the clone was send on a suicide mission. “

I wanted to also have a look at examples of this space empire trope in different types of media like cartoons for example, because here it follows the exact same cliches as I layed out before and in fact is a total mix between the more believable realistic empires like the ones in star wars and voltron meanwhile having all the flaws of alien empires like the Harvesters and the Chitauri.  I get this is a cartoon but everything is so toned down here that it makes no sense t the point where the reason for this empires galactic conquest is ‘because space evil empire’ which is definitely something you want to avoid as a cliche. Like lets be honest the alien empire are always the villains, no mater what sort of movie, show or cartoon it is from, just always the bad guys it’s basically a rule by now. But who would want the villains to be as boring as being evil for the sake of being bad like come on that’s not very compelling story telling. 

For my story I will most definitely not have time to explore why my ‘alien empire’ is doing what they doing but i want to at least mention some sort of thing to as why not just they are attacking these guys becaue I need a villain in my story.

“The Chitauri are a sentient species of cybernetically enhanced beings operating under a hive mind intelligence. Subservient to Thanos, they were most notable for being the first major threat to Earth that required the formation of the Avengers when they attempted to commence a planetary invasion as part of an alliance between Thanos and Loki. “

I won’t say much about this empire as its basically a copy and paste of the harvesters with every single cliche there could be. Army of brainless faceless soldiers the audience has no care or connection to - check, a mother ship that makes ass the aliens die after it’s destroyed -check, although here I’ll give credit because at least they dont have a mother alien figure that had to be killed for them to die, it is made pretty clear that they are technologically enhanced so if they are controlled by lets say an AI or something along these lines it makes sense they wouldn’t be able to use their technology anymore but I can’t really buy the fact they all just drop dead. Like that’s just way to convenient.

I already made a movie review for The War of The Worlds so I won’t say much here either. This is once again your very typical alien invasion movie but there’s a few things I found really col about this alien species one of which is we actually get to see what they do with the planet: which is change the ecosystem to better suit their needs. And I thought it was really cool because most movies when they have aliens show up to earth to kill all the humans, the movie doesn’t really look into why they want to do this, viewers usually just assume either they are just evil and want to take control over the Earth or they are just getting rid of the humas so they can live here instead or use our reasources I don’t know. But unlike those here we see the aliens actually change and shape the Earth to suit what they need which is cool because not every alien will breath oxygen, it might be poisonous to them as far as we know, and this is even more supported by the fact that the aliens never leave their ships and we only get to see one right at the end of the movie which does infact die the second it leaves the ship. Also another thing I really like about this alien species is the fact it wasn’t humans that defeated them, because thats the most obvious thing like 90% of alien invasion movies do. Humans defeat them, but here the entire movie it’s shown the aliens are far more advanced and have been planning this invasion since our ancient times so it just wouldn’t make sense for them to all be killed by some guns and drones. I really love that they died from bacteria because it makes a lot of sense actually, not the most obvious thing but to an alien species that did not take into consideration and simply overlooked the details it’s actually quite interesting.

https://aliens.fandom.com/wiki/Harvester

https://she-raandtheprincessesofpower.fandom.com/wiki/The_Horde

https://marvelcinematicuniverse.fandom.com/wiki/Chitauri

[waitsalive1-blog]

Sentimental movies

Watched a feelgood movie last night. Nothing too deep, very representative of a succesful middle class suburbia. Something I would normally shun. My pseudo wanna be intellectual creative self would be mortified at me (ha ha). I dont know though, it must have been my mood. Watching Nordic noir all week, needed something less serious I suppose. Have to be frank here, it amazes me how an hour and a half visualisation of some idylic life on a screen in your living room can actually get you thinking in a positive way, give you the feels, the real ones you know. But it really did. And I woke up in a pretty good mood to boot. Hopefully those feels will cling on to the end of my coat tails all day and shape my impending week too. Heres to positivity folks. I sincerely wish you all find some. Read the full article

[daveywankenobie]

I’m quite surprised at how quickly things can change.

Weight loss (If you had as much to lose as I did) can at times seem like a glacial process – but in truth when I look at the stats I’ve lost quite a lot of weight at a pretty brisk pace.

Over the course of 90 weeks I’ve dropped 269.5lbs, meaning I’ve had an average weight loss of 3lbs per week since April 2016.

As wonderful as this is if I’m completely honest I’m pretty much mentally at the end of everything in my life being about a number on a pair of scales. However – before everyone panics and reads that as someone giving up on a healthy lifestyle let me reassure you – nothing could be further from the truth.

It’s the exact opposite in fact – because this is me saying that even though I still have a little distance left to go with weight loss (I really really want that 20 stone certificate) I’m now at the point where I KNOW that this is my life now, and that I’m not going back ever again.

Some readers took my indecision about whether to get rid of old clothes as a worry that I might backslide – and truthfully in some ways it was. I’ve failed before and sometimes those memories are hard to exorcise.

People’s concerns made me think on the subject afterwards quite a bit though.

In my head this reticence to let go of ‘stuff’ relates more to my upbringing. These retentive impulses were primarily focused by memories of the lack of money that we had as a family when I was growing up – and the almost complete absence of new or ‘nice’ clothes that I wore all the way through school up until I was 16.

Mostly because of this I’m constantly dogged by a feeling that somehow it’s ‘wrong’ to dispose of perfectly good items of clothing, and I’m therefore wanting to hold onto lots of things probably more than I should do.

There’s another facet to this however – because nothing is ever simple when it comes to the psychology of weight loss.

It wasn’t hard for me to get rid of ‘fat clothes’.

I hated them.

I NEVER wore them by choice, and instead felt like I had been held hostage by the retailers from which I had to buy them. Honestly when the time came to give them away I couldn’t wait.

I just wanted them gone and I didn’t care who received them.

However – the clothes that I’ve bought since, from high street stores and charity shops are items that I’ve had a very different relationship with. I’ve begun once again to take a pride in my appearance – and like to think that when I wear my current clothes that I look smart, presentable and above all else that I fit in to my surroundings.

The items that have recently migrated to bags represent things I wore to succesful job interviews, that I climbed up mountains with, that were the first pair of shorts that I felt comfortable wearing or things that simply just made me feel part of the human race again because they came from the same mundane supermarket that everyone else around me (that looked perfectly normal) was buying the same clothes from.

They have to go though. Everyone’s right. Holding onto them is pointless – and like many other things in life they’re dead weight.

My mother failed to realise this and as a relentless hoarder this behaviour literally buried her over time. At the end her house was jam packed with things she would never ever get the chance to use – but that she couldn’t bear to part with.

I’m still using the mountain of soap she left behind and I estimate I have another three to four years worth of showers to take before it’s all gone. The irony is she rarely washed (I’m not joking) yet had about six years worth of bars dating back to the early 80’s in her bungalow.

I view this as proof positive that the universe has a sense of humour…

I digress however – because I originally meant to say that whilst my focus is moving from weight loss I’m not losing any momentum – I’m just gradually transferring it to something else.

Fitness.

#ONPLANJAN is rumbling along and tying quite nicely into my other goal, which is getting stronger. If you remember I started January being able to do 7 press-ups and 7 sit-ups (feet under sofa).

Currently this is the state of play.

Jan 7th Sit-ups feet under sofa – 15 (10 then stop then 5) Press-ups 10 Half press ups 20

Jan 8th (I took a rest from exercise)

Jan 9th Sit-ups feet under sofa – 18 (10 then stop then 8) Dumbbell workout Press-ups 18

Jan 10th Sit-ups feet under sofa – 18 (10 then stop then 8) Dumbbell workout Press-ups 20

I’m pretty pleased that within the space of just ten days I’ve managed to more than double my capabilties. Although I dont think I’m going to hit my original target of 50 of each by the end of January (It was pretty ‘pie in the sky’ after all) it really doesnt matter – because I’m making significant progress.

As my consultant Angie never fails to remind us ‘If you shoot for the moon and don’t make it then you still fall amongst the stars‘. She’s absolutely right. Improvement is improvement no-matter how you look at it, and I’m done with snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

My food intake has also been pretty good (although as always I’ve been eating generous portions – which I hope doesnt nail my progress).

Jan 7th Apple Pot of Cottage cheese + ham (100g) Chilli con carne made with pork mince, kidney beans, chick peas, onions, broccoli, tomatoes, yellow & pepper Natural yogurt banana & Aldi Black Forest fruits

Jan 8th Leftover chilli + couscous Salad + baked potato Natural yogurt banana & Aldi Black Forest fruits 3 Large apples Ham + cottage cheese

9th Jan 4x Aldi wheat biscuits (12syns) with strawberries, banana, raspberries + unsweetened almond milk Pickled onions Roasted parsnips, potatoes with sir fried garlic red onion, sprouts and chicken Cottage cheese + corn on cob x2

10th Jan Leftover Roasted parsnips, potatoes with sir fried garlic red onion, sprouts and chicken + couscous 2 x chicken breasts and 3 Large cox apples Beef, butternut, sweet potato, mushroom, courgette, green bean and red onion & tomato stew

It all looks rather nice as well!

I hope your January activities are going well internet and that whatever your self improvement plans were that you’re sticking to them and feeling positive!

Keep it up!

Davey

Fall amongst the stars I'm quite surprised at how quickly things can change. Weight loss (If you had as much to lose as I did) can at times seem like a glacial process - but in truth when I look at the stats I've lost quite a lot of weight at a pretty brisk pace.

[mynameskarlaaa]

To the one who broke my heart.

I knew a time like this could come, i knew there could be a day where our love would end and we would be no more. As in denial as i was, my heart told me that this was going to end soon. When it was new years, and i was making my wishes i wished and prayed to god to give me a sign, something to tell me if this was coming to an end or if it would last a life time. I wish i never made that wish, because my heart aches at the thought of never kissing you again, at the thought of never hugging you again. Oh never hearing you say I love you one more time. It hurts, to know that our time together has ended that you made a mistake that could end it all. Thats exactly what it was a mistake, a mistake that was the sign i needed to open my eyes and realize that you no longer deserved to have me. You saved your kisses your sexuality with someone else, and thats okay it was choice. Although i want to run back to you and say i forgive you, i wont because you dont deserve my forgiveness. Not now but maybe in the future. My body, mind, and soul is broken i feel worthless and used. But i know itll all be over soon i know that im going to pick myself back up. Im going to work hard to make myself happy. Im going to be happy again, with our without you. Its gonna have to be without you. I know one day well meet again and youll seen and realize how much i was worth, how no one is going to love you like i did, how no one with care for you and hold you like i did, no one will wipe your tears and tell you it will be okay like i did. No one is going to gave you the feelings i did and that is the sad truth. Im going to pick myself up, work out, be beautiful. Work hard in my career and be succesful in life. Because you know what although im broken now im going to get back up stronger than ever, and i will find someone who will love me for me and love me for who i am because although i wish you could, you couldnt. I love you so much even though i wish i didnt and maybe youre fine now maybe youre not but I know its gonna hit you at some point, my advice is just dont cry dont feel bad, you did what you did and hey i hope you enjoyed the sex you got out of it. A night of pleasure over someone who treated you so right. I just wanted you to know that ima be okay and youre gonna be okay hey you might find someone to love you like you want to be loved to who knows. All i ask of you is to care for yourself and love yourself stop getting drunk and doing stupid drug make something of yourself go back to school and make me proud one day, dont hoe around and catch a disease be safe, dont fuck up at work please keep trying and building yourself into a man. Be a man a man your mom would be proud to call her son. Stop being so stupid, cause yeah youre young but that isnt an excuse. Be somebody, be successful make your family proud. I have one thing to ask, please put your twitter on private, and turn off find my iphone. Just do it for me. I need you to do those things so i can move on and stop worrying about you, its gonna be hard but ima take things one day at a time. I care for you, youre a good person when your heart is right, just find yourslef again because right now youre back to the same fuck boy i said id never love. Im sorry it had to be this way i really am, but its better for us to move on instead of hurting each other over and over again. I love you jeremiah, i wont forget the good times we had together.