#I dont even know what to say about him i just love THIS RIDICULOUS CONCEPT OF A MAN

[hauntingblue]

Oh now the villagers know..... and arlong burned the town to punish her..... for some reason

[theoccultz]

How will your future spouse pursue you ?

Ok you guys the series is finally here

All of my pacs are queer friendly

Since not everyone wants to get married , you could read for your s/o as well

Pics and dividers not mine , credits to their rightful owners @/saradika

Apologies for any mistakes

Let me know which pile you picked and don't be afraid to express your thoughts (:

Pile l . Pile ll. Pile lll.

🫀 Pile l.

For this series if you have any topic suggestion let me know I'll include it

>>> | Queen of swords , 4of wands , 5 of cups |

This person is gonna be competitive for your attention , they dont fall in love easily and when they do its ride or die , they are your typical bad boy stereotype that you see in the movies , they are someone who knows they are the best in the room this person's self esteem & self concept is amazing, their confidence speak for itself, they are someone who has seen a lot of things in life and their way of getting to you is very simple and straightforward, maybe in the past people weren't as actively pursuing you as you would love them too but this person is not like this , they are on your face they know they want you and they're gonna be sincere & upfront about it , this person is generally very quiet and people have a lot of ridiculous assumptions about them like they're a player etc etc but best believe me they're really not what others think of him , this person is hot asf , you could be a very stubborn person who takes decision carefully about their life and this will stress them out n,ot in a way to deceit anyone but they know they have to prove everyone wrong so that you see them truly for who they are awww:(

Anyways this person is very masculine in nature , they are gonna act as a mentor and a caregiver, you want this ? I got it , you need this ? Its on me ....and you're like wtf i can do that myself but its just their way to make you feel special , this person does not do that for everyone if they are doing 50% for you then they are gonna do 20% for their friends its like they value your connection a lot and they don't want you to feel like you're just like everyone else in their life , this person is gonna defend you in every situation be it with their family or friends they dont give a shit , this person is also very keen on you they notice everything about you , how you care for people what you like to wear so their another hobby will be gift giving they are very thoughtful and they'd love to make you smile . The four of wands with the five of cups rx is very much i don't want to see them sad , i don't want them to doubt our connection, i want to put efforts for them , i want to do SO much that this person never feel less about themselves, i feel like being with this person , one of the best things about them ...that you're gonna like is they are deadly whatever they do its 100% efforts they dont like to tease their partner even in a slightest way because they know words can stick with a person forever so they're very mindful ,people can envy this the most about you guys its like no one can say anything bad abt my partner if you're gonna be passive then i might play this game as well , they could have a scorpio mercury or virgo so whatever they say is gonna hurt the other person because scorpions and virgos are known for their details , they study people very deeply , whatever they say hold meaning.

This person is definately that cold hearted girl/ guy or you are because i'm picking up on this black cat energy from you and cats do not chose their owners instantly neither do they love everyone. I Also picked up on a very rockstar appearance like long hairs , leather jacket, ripped jeans , its so cool , they remind me of early 2000's era

How will they pursue you : competitively , your friends post you every week ?? ...i'm gonna post you everyday its that kind of person lol , the back of the deck I usually take that as an overall energy is ace of pentacle which is a very stable and set energy in its own so whatever they do , they do it to achieve victory , to be recognised, to show you that they are the shit (;

Channelled song :

Thank you for reading!!

🫀Pile ll .

For this series if you have any topic suggestion let me know I'll include it

| 10 of cups , strength, four of swords |

Ok so this is our cool guy /girl lmao

Even though they will be putting in efforts to pursue you , you shouldn't know that they are doing that , i feel like they will be pursuing you from the get go like this person on a random monday evening will just accept i have feelings for this person and i want them , now this person will try to make it seem like its all a coincidence, this could be a leo mercury or gemini they try to entertain people with their words but their words hold honesty which people cant always catch so they will try to make you feel comfortable like you should feel happy in their presence and it will satisfy them and they will replay this in their mind at night like oh this person laughed at my joke they touched me i made them happy and it brings a smile on their face , they might say or do things which will make you laugh take a scenario like OH ...and you're like what happened and this person is like deja vu darling i think we belong together the universe knows and its so cheesy but its also so cute , they like to break this barrier between you guys , this person will be friendly towards you , they will flirt with you , they're also very spontaneous and a little bit tricky they love to play with you , lets say you guys have a dinner plan and you're excited you're dressed up you have already reached the venue but they will purposefully show up late and when you text them they're like WHAT...? We had plans ? but they are just joking they are alrdy at the venue waiting for you to see them , they might even joke with you like oh i have 5 kids to feed ofcourse i'm late & its a very playfully banter , you play along like YOU match their freak ... its ridiculous you wanna be mad at them but you can't but i understand your feelings pile 2 and i validate 🙂‍↔️✋🏽

I really think this person is gonna steal your parents love like 😭✋🏽they are the favourite child now , this person has a tendency to play cool like they dont wanna give in first..... they want you to give in first its kind of a cute ego idk , let's take a scenario they say "love you " and you're like where's my " I LOVE YOU " and they're like yes "I LOVE YOU TOO" so petty 😭 they have this natural ability to piss you off , this is the type of person when someone would ask you guys ..."so who confessed first ??...they're gonna jump in like ofcourse it was them , they were crazy about me like you dont know i had to give in but its not true its the opposite. So as you can already guess their ass ? Dramatic ...but you cant say they are dramatic because they are gonna be MORE dramatic about it .

How will they pursue you ? With fear because i feel like they will mask their desire to make you theirs with humour you could start off as friends or colleagues so they cant be very open about their feelings because they feel like you are not focused on love and you might reject them so it's their little cute tactics to get to your heart yeah but they are gonna be very anxious about it they could even suffer from inferiority complex.

Channelled song:

Thank you for reading!!

🫀Pile lll.

For this series if you have any topic suggestion let me know I'll include it

• 3ofcoins, wheel of fortune rx , seven of swords rx •

This person will absolutely be focused on providing comfort to you whether it be emotional or sexual , they love to do things with you they love to hang out with you , they creatively express themselves, they are someone who's gonna listen to your rants they are gonna embrace every flaw & every good thing about you , you are gonna feel exposed in their presence there's something about this person knowing you more than you know them , they really love to spend time with you , i'm seeing this person pushing you towards better goals like your life is gonna improve being with them ,this person will be very happy for your success, they are gonna put you on pedestal they think you are more lovable than them and you deserve more than them and i can confidently say they'll always love you more than you love them its very sweet but also sad , they have insecurities yet they are here trying to soothe your heart, they are gonna apologise first its like they dont wanna lose you they know how to keep a connection you wouldn't need to worry this is a connection where you can let yourself just be you aint gonna walk on eggshells, they are mature , i feel like this person cannot express themselves through words so they prefer to write to you , take you to places with them , praise you infornt of others , make you something, i feel like this persons love is comforting and sweet , you are their equal and they want you to feel like that.

This person will definately engage more in your life , they are gonna be supportive towards you like a best friend, they will overgive to you , they can even say stuff like ...." as long as i'm here i'm gonna be there for you ".....they will hold your hand while you walk they will listen to your problems, they will embrace your silly nature , take you out , spend time with you " i'm getting this line you came and the other one is like you called " it went viral on tiktok i think its from a movie but yeah the energy is very much sweet

Oh you guys this is so sweet , you guys dont speak the same language? They're gonna learn for you we have that kind of person here , you know when they are in love they get hearty eyes it shows on their face and in their behaviour, those sneaky eye contacts , those blush when you are mentioned, the sincerity in their words ,its all there .

How they're gonna pursue you ? Its very passionate and being Passionate does not mean always having hots for each other and that is exactly how they will make you feel , you feel this wholeness i'm having a hard time describing it...its so divine...you know just so grateful and lucky to have a connection like this in this day n age , Yeah 😭this is sooooooo damnnn cuteee i'm scared of this person's energy its very intense , i mean your partner is into worshipping & if you like this then this is definitely your pile (:

Channelled song:

Thanks for reading!!

[poisonousquinzel]

my main issue with Harlivy not being monogamous is that the idea exists solely because DC is homophobic. I think, in some worlds, they could have a healthy poly relationship, obviously I love harliva (Gotham City Sirens), I stand by that this would be a wonderful dynamic if ya know written by competent and skilled writers who actually understand all their characters.

And frankly I dont feel like Harley is one who typically would be okay with sharing the person she's in love with. she's just not. maybe in a case where she and the person she's in love with / dating are both also in love with another, who's equally into the both of them.

But

That's not what's happening in Harley & Ivy's comics right now. That's not what's ever happened with this "open relationship".

I think Mason was healthy and sweet for Harley, from what I remember, but Ivy didn't love him and he didn't love Ivy. It's understandable to a degree, Ivy's reasonings and such, and in a different world with better writers I think that aspect could have been explored and developed.

Because Ivy does, truly, deeply, love Harley, and the idea she would be okay with Harley having hookups, etc, could be explained in a way that would make sense. Particularly during the part of Harley's arc that the 2014/2016 comics were, well, were supposed to be, dealing with.

She's freshly broken up with Joker, not really fully into a healing phase either, and isn't in the right mindset to be like settling down and thinking of Forever again. Harlivy's relationship is strong and built on friendship, so even in the beginning there while their relationship isn't Platonic, it's not "Officially Dating", Ivy knows how deeply Harley also cares about her. She also knows Harley isn't in a good place, and neither was she.

So her being okay, or outright happy for Harley, being loved by other people would make some sense because all Ivy's tried to do their whole friendship is prove that she deserved better, that she deserved to be loved and cherished. And as long as whoever is the pick of the month for Harley is someone who makes her feel happy and loved, then Ivy wouldn't feel jealous over it because damn, good for her being so happy messing around with someone who isn't as nasty and cruel as Joker. And it wouldn't take away from the real underlying feelings the two women have for one another.

But, again, that's not what this is. And it is now a "dynamic" that's bled into both Poison Ivy (2022) and Harley Quinn (2021), and has ultimately (due to the sheer lack of shown conversations or anything) devolved to borderline cheating.

In all honestly, this isn't a thing that'd exist if she was still with Joker and him alone. 1000%.

She would be with him and him only and would be depressed, insecure and jealous if he had a "friend" like Janet who he'd fucked before and continued to keep around.

This concept was only introduced because DC wouldn't allow for Harlivy to be openly in a monogamous relationship in 2014/2016. This is the company that in 2013 lost both the artist and writer for the Batwoman comic (artist: JH Williams III and writer: W. Haden Blackman) due to the company refusing to allow them to show Kate get married. It's not ooc for them to have refused to let them be monogamous, especially since Harlivy wasn't even allowed to be shown kissing on the lips at the time.

cause forbid sapphic women are allowed to be shown being outright loving and romantic with each other and doing something as ridiculously simple and mundane as a lip kiss, but having Ivy grab her ass in front of two dudes is totally okay cause it's hot.

it's so hot in fact that they needed to add in Tool dude, a fucking loser ass creep, saying "homina" in response to getting to see these two hot ladies like this. It seems like this is supposed to be a version of "Hummina"

Wiktionary: used to express that one has a strong reaction that cannot be expressed in words, especially when expressing embarrassment or sexual attraction.

Urban Dictionary: gibberish used to convey excitement or immediate sexual attraction to someone that takes your breath away.

Or the definitions for "Homina" itself

Urban Dictionary: A word, normally repeated three times, to express shock, befuddlement, or general speechlessness. Often when looking at a particularly attractive member of the speaker's favored sex

-

A sound you make when you see someone very attractive and beautiful. Similar to "hubba-hubba" or "a-woo-gah a-woo-gah" or "rwaaaarrr!"

[AND! I think the dynamics with her relationships with Joker and Ivy during the Mad Love arc is ridiculously complex and cannot be boiled down to "she cheats on him with Ivy so its in character for them to not be monogamous" because it takes away all context of both relationships and the mental state she'd have been in during that arc that was directly caused by him.

Her hooking up with Ivy while still being on / off again with Joker, a man who had broken her mind, her bones and her self esteem, is not at all similar or equatable to the pointless, ooc strange plot threads that've been published recently that frankly are just starting to feel like it's playing into biphobic stereotypes]

anyyyhoo, those are my thoughts<3 I have to finish cleaning my room now I sporadically wrote this on a short break SKDJSJKSKSKS

[descendantsramblings]

First of all, take your time with the storys (god i love your writing style, its not rushed and not too cheesy or out of character) And cause my Brain is a full on simp for Morgie and the Boy is just a little good one that wants to fit in, i have another idea

Maybe a story based on the Deleted scene pics of Him sleeping(?) alone in the Hideout from the lagoon in this chair(?) and of him finding the book

-

in the whole thing morgie and reader have this Tension like always and are pretty close (they are in love but both dont know how to make the first step and they know it wouldnt really be good news for uliana which scares morgie off)

Male!reader is another villain kid that is also in Ulianas crew but mostly in the background, he didnt go to the office to steal the cookbook nor did he look out for merlin with morgie (maybe reader is even secretly slightly friends with bridget who knows)

Morgie went to find the cookbook in chloe's and red's room after finding out what happend to uliana and the crew, he hesitates to open it and goes back to the Hideout in the lagoon where he starts to panick a little cause his friends are frozen, he is all alone and it all depends on him now.

On one side he wants to impress uliana and the others and be a good villain like his Mom (cause he has a reputation to hold up and he has mommy issues lmao) but on the other hand he doesnt think that Bridget deserves it and he doesnt wants to really be like his mom, morgie also opens the book which also proves that he is good in his heart

Reader comes into the hideout to see morgie having a complete life crisis and he tries to comfort him, Reader wants Morgie to leave the villain group cause he just isnt a villain and a good soul at heart but Morgie thinks that this will just cause more problems so he sticks with this life now (god bless him)

Morgie ends up not doing the prank and telling Uliana later after she is unfrozen that he just didnt find the cookbook and he couldnt pull through with the pranks and that he and Reader couldnt think of anything just as cruel for Bridget before castlecoming but they totally did still try to.make bridgets day bad (they didnt xD)

You’re so sweet, thank you so much. I really do try, end up reading it like 4 times before I post it and find something I wish I changed a day later. And I love the concept of a secretly good VK being with Morgie (who is also secretly good idc what Disney has to say on the matter)!! I’m so excited about this one

True to Heart

Morgie le Fay X Reader

Pronouns used: He/him/his

Summary: When faced with something that knows the truest part of your heart, it’s bound to see right through you.

Warnings: Uliana sucks, they're very touchy but really this is just fluff with some panicking. Death mention but it’s sorta playful

Word count: 2K

   It had been hours since he heard from Uliana. Surely the sea witch should have come by his room by now , yelling at him about how he needed to be ready for their plan. Convinced he’d do it at the drop of a hat to be part of her main circle. She was a fool of course, that he believed with his whole heart, she was ridiculous to believe he’d hurt Bridget. It would be like asking him to hurt Hades. They weren’t close but he had an obvious care for them, that was easy to see. Uliana was an idiot to believe he would even consider letting go of that part of himself. There were few parts of his morals he could actually hold in the position he’d put himself in. He’d be keeping one, (Y/n) was not the type of guy to betray anyone. Despite that though, he was on his way to go find the dreadful girl and her friends, skipping across the rocks of the black lagoon. Regardless of who he wanted to be, villainy ran in his blood, he had no other options but to be on their beck and call. Well, he assumes he did have one other option, but the idea of being alone by choice wasn’t exactly one that made his chest all warm and fuzzy. And to leave certain people in the crew would kill him. 

    “Oh what did I do?” The familiar voice panicked, speaking to himself as he paced the length of the hide out. “Why did I take that? What do I do with it? Why did I?” Morgie is speaking faster than he can make sense, repeatedly looking over at some old book settled on the table. (Y/n) slinks in, carefully making his way up to the boy. Not that he noticed the presence of his, well he can’t actually tell you what Morgie considers him. Arms outstretched, grabbing his biceps from behind, “Morgz, where are your friends? I thought Ulilana would’ve come by to snatch me up by now.” Hazel eyes are panicked and wild, turning and staring into the most comforting face he’s ever seen. “I-” he takes a deep breath, stepping closer for his friend to hold him closer, “I failed at being a good watch and now they’re all frozen and I don’t know what to do because it’s my fault and I don’t want to do this alone.” 

    His right hand slides up Morgie’s arm, resting on his shoulder as his left hand cups his cheek. “Morgie, I will never let you be alone. Now, tell me what we’re doing.” He watches Morgie’s eyes close, rubbing the boy’s cheek with his thumb lovingly. “I can’t ask that of you,” he breathes forcing his eyes open as he pulls away from the boy’s hand, “If pranking Bridget falls on me it has to fall on just me. I know you like her and I couldn’t make you do something like that. It would ruin your chances.” (Y/n) laughs, tapping Morgie’s cheek with his hand and letting go to look at the book on the table, “Morgz, Bridget is a lovely friend but I do not like her. Not like that. Now,” he drags a finger over the cover of the old book, “Is this the book that Uliana wanted?” He pauses, turning around. His back straightens in shock, realizing just how close Morgie had gotten, he could feel the sorcerer’s breath on his face. He was really close, far too close. 

    “Did you say Uliana was frozen?” “They all are,” he steps back ever so slightly, as if he realized how close he’d gotten all of a sudden, “I heard those two girls talking about it. They said there was a spell on the book that keeps people with evil in their heart from being able to use it. Something like that and they opened it and now,” he shakes his head. “Now they’re all frozen,” (Y/n) bites his hand to hold back a laugh, “They didn’t research the book before they went to get it?” He turns back to the book, “So what are you planning to do with it?” Morgie’s hands settle on either side of him, chest pinned to the boy’s back with his breath fanning over (Y/n)’s exposed neck.  

    “I mean, I need to do the prank don’t I? Uliana is going to be fuming if I don’t and it would make my mom happy. Or at least I hope it would. So I need to do the prank, right?” He bites his lips, eyes fluttering closed as he relishes in the closeness. They’d never act like this in the hideout if Uliana had the chance to see them. she had her qualms when it came to them both -one more than the other- no reason to make it worse. “So, you want to prank an innocent girl so that two women who can’t even see you would be proud of you?” He shakes his head, “It’s not that I want to prank her. I just, I need someone to be proud of me. You can understand that, can’t you?” “Morgz,” he shakes his head, turning around and putting them nearly nose to nose. He can hear someone take in a sharp breath, Morgie seeming to hold the gasp in as he stares at his friend. He was almost sure the sound had been him. “You do not need to make Uliana and your mother happy all the time. What would make you happy?” He shakes his head, the motion making their noses brush up against each other. “You know it’s not that simple.” 

    “Okay, then open your magic little book, serpent boy.” He lets out a sound that (Y/n) thinks is supposed to be a laugh. “I can’t, villains can’t open the book. That’s literally how we got in this situation.” He nods, grabbing Morgie’s face in a way that would make most people raise their brows. The display was a touch two cozy for the two boys to just be friends. “Open the book. If you freeze then I will unfreeze you and help with the prank.” He raises a brow, eyes drinking in his best friend’s face, “And if I don’t?” “How about we focus on if you do first, huh?” Morgie lets go of him, stepping to the side so he can look at the book. “What if,” he takes a breath, looking over at his friend’s gentle face, “What if you can’t turn me back?” His hand reaches out, smoothing a strand of Morgie’s hair into place, “Well, then I will fight tooth and nail until I can. I can’t be without you.” He picks up the book with slow shaking hands, eyes flickering back over to the other boy. “I really think you should open this. I mean, we know that you could open it and be just fine. You’re so,” he looks the boy over, licking his lips, “You.” 

    “Morgz, open the book. I promise you, we’ll be okay.” Morgie takes a deep breath, bracing himself for the worst as the cover of the book gives way to his hand. Sliding open without so much as a shine of a spell coming off of it. His eyes flicker open, slowly looking over the page before looking up to his friend. “I didn’t freeze.” A smile comes across his face, walking over to Morgie’s shell chair and falling into it. “You knew that,” he turns to watch as he speaks. “You knew I would be okay.” (Y/n) looks up at him from his seat, smiling at Morgie, “Of course I did, I know you. You might be a le Fay but you’re also,” he pauses, shaking his head, “You’re you. There’s no need to be Morgie le Fay right now. You can just be, Morgie.” 

    He shakes his head, walking over to his friend and falling to sit between his legs, “I can just be Morgz.”  Without so much as a second of hesitation (Y/n) wraps his arms around Morgie’s waist, lightly pulling him back to lay down on top of him. There’s no hesitation on the other boy’s end either, the sorcerer melting into his arms, his head lulling back to rest on his friend’s shoulder. The two boys become a tangle, the tip of his nose brushing against (Y/n)’s cheek bone as he gets wrapped into his arms. A grossly adoring and gentle display that the other boys of the group would never give into. Words can’t explain how happy he is for the curse on that stupid book. “What am I supposed to do now? I mean, if I’m not evil what am I doing with the villains?” (Y/n)’s hand comes up to scratch at the boy’s scalp as he speaks, Morgie letting out a whine at the contact.

    “That’s a great question, what are you doing with the villains? You and I both know that you deserve better than this.” Each of the other boy’s words fan across his cheek and lips as he speaks, the air of it tickling his cheek,  “You know why.” He was so close, how had he let himself pull the other boy so close? His mind was in overdrive, doing everything he could to think about something, anything, other than the closeness. “You know you don’t have to be her mini me, right? You don’t have to be here just because of her.” He scoffs, nuzzling further against (Y/n)’s cheek, “Why are you with us then? Everyone knows you’re nothing like your dad.” A hum follows the words, stroking the boy’s hair instead of responding. “I mean realistically, Hades and I are the only ones you hang out with one on one. And I think everyone knows you’re not a fan of Maleficent. But you’re still lumped in with us. What’s the point of it?” “You,” he has his eyes closed as he says it, bracing for whatever the response would be. 

      Morgie stills, (Y/n) honestly hadn’t noticed he was still nuzzling against him until he stopped it. Grip loosening so the boy could get up and leave him. But he doesn’t, he can feel Morgie’s eyes burning into the side of his face. ��Look at me.” “What?” “Look at me,” he grabs the boy’ chin, tilting him over to look at him, “Open your eyes.” “I’m okay actually.” “Please,” he whines it, cupping the boy’s face. And they both know there’s no way (Y/n) ignores that tone in his voice. Eyes slowly opening. “You’re stuck here because of me?” “I want to be stuck with you.” 

  Morgie sits up, looking over at the book with a sigh, “How are we supposed to get that thing back into Merlin’s office?” (Y/n) shoots up, looking at the boy with bewilderment in his eyes, “What?” Morgie lets out the shell of a laugh, turning to him, “Well, if you’re stuck with them because of me, then while they’re frozen, we can do things your way.” He looks at the sorcerer with the softest eyes, lip caught between his teeth in hopes of stopping the grin that begged to stretch across his face. “You’re not gonna prank her?” He turns, pointing at the other boy, “We’re not. We are however going to have to work together to figure out how to lie to Uliana though. Because we are so, so dead if we don’t figure this out.” “Morgie le Fay! I am so proud of you!” He laughs, pulling him into his lips. It’s soft, short, barely even a kiss but he relished in it all the same. Morgie was kissing him, he got to kiss him. Whatever was set to happen to them didn’t matter, he could roll with the punches. For a while, at least for the next day, the two not-so-villainous Villain kids could live true to their hearts. That could be enough, for now it would be enough.

“So uh,” (Y/n) pulls back nervously, wiping his bottom lip with his thumb, “Since we already have the tickets to castle coming do you want to“ “Please.”

[daedalusdavinci]

Superbat Fic Recs

every superbat fic ive ever read has been recommended to me, almost, bc the superbat tag scares the absolute piss out of me, so these are like. twice over recommended. i dont believe that theres such a thing as "in character" when it comes to bruce or clark bc theyve been characterized so many different ways, so i tend to rate how good superbat fics are entirely by how delightful they are to read (plot, writing style, fun dynamic, etc). that said here are some of the superbat fics that i find the most delightful

The Long Hangover

by CoffioCake

Clark knows he should take a break: His powers are on the fritz, he feels like shit, and Batman’s treating him like a liability. But Gotham's villains seem to have it in for Metropolis' Big Blue Boy Scout and Clark won't just wait around for answers. Batman might be the world’s greatest detective, but Clark Kent is one of the Daily Planet’s most tenacious reporters. This is definitely a job for Superman.

i love this one. its long but its got so many good beats- good plot, fun dialogue, fantastic levels of identity porn where you are just DYING for them to figure it out. i think a lot of superbat fics tend to prioritize batman and his family and cast too much, but this ones definitely about superman, which is a nice change of pace

Nor The Rain

by Romany (@romanyeva on tumblr)

Bruce decides it's time.

this ones short but its cute and so sweet. its been a while since i read it, but i remember loving the writing

Rescue and Recover

by OdosBucket

The bats have spent the better part of the past two months in captivity, and Clark is grateful to finally have them back, even if it will still be some time before any of them are recovered from the experience.

this one drove me CRAZY the first time i read it. i was so obsessed w the absolutely married dynamic bruce and clark have in this, and its good if you really like batfam whump

certain obscure things

by @liodain

Bruce seeks to mend in the wake of Superman's death. Fortunately, Superman doesn't believe in staying dead. Unfortunately, Bruce isn't certain how to deal with this—especially with how easily Clark slots into his life. All he knows is that an encounter with the Enchantress is definitely not the way to go.

im not a synderverse fan but it remains that some of the best and most fun superbat fics to read are synderverse. love what the girlies are doing with those old men. this one is really fun, particularly in how it handles bruces grief and what its like to grieve someone who isnt gone

fame is the bait (and the switch is your desolate smile)

by nowrunalong (@buffyfemslash on tumblr)

"Superman,” Wayne says emphatically. "Now there’s an interesting guy. The concept of wealth probably doesn’t even register to an alien who could throw a whole skyscraper into the sea if he was in a snit.” It’s almost hilariously ironic that Wayne is saying this here, in Clark’s place of employment, where Clark works ten-hour shifts to earn enough tip money to pay rent on a one-bedroom apartment. “He’s gotta live somewhere,” Clark points out. Or: Clark meets Bruce, and then Superman meets Bruce Wayne. Neither is entirely fooled.

speaking of synderverse. this ones also a lot of fun! its a lot of bruce being antagonistic in the beginning and clark being a total golden retriever, which is pretty on beat for the enemies to lovers type dynamic that i always see in synderverse fics.

I'm Not As Think As You Drunk I Am

by Mardiaz173

It was like living in the Twilight Zone. Everyone else believed fervently in Bruce Wayne’s reputation. He was a flirty, stupid, and entitled drunk whose only redeeming quality was his bleeding heart. And yet every time Clark spoke with Wayne, the man was clever, mischievous, and sober with an indecipherable ulterior motive. And no one believed Clark. Not Lois, not his parents, not even Batman.

bruce is such a ridiculous ass in this and its kind of hilarious. identity porn galore. its a fun read!

Send to All

by kerosceene

I, ___________________________, hereby acknowledge that this form represents my wishes should I contract phytoaphrodisiac-induced delirium (hereafter referred to as “PAID”) during engagements with or while apprehending Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley (“Poison Ivy”). - the bats have a sex pollen release form. because of course they do.

this ones really more batfamily and i just. listen. i think this is the funniest fic ever written, maybe. it makes me sob every single time. im not going to say anything else but you should just read it and trust me

[dufferpuffer]

Just read about you okaying one of the anon ask about random ships. Because just like so many people I too like your analysis...

I know that this might be out of your usual circle of favorite characters. Or a little strange ship too...

But I always found it interesting to think about two rebels of rhe family. One from house of black and one from house of Weasley.

Sirius Black and Percy Weasley.

I think the fandom has slept on Percy's potential as a lead character for good story.

Harry dislikes percy right along ron and twins etc but if we see from certain angle he was nit wrong in not trusting dumbles. And he having trust in ministry and authority figures and not wanting to be part of a vigilante group is also not bad thing.

Him having fights with parents is also nothing new, we all at certain age think that we know better than them.

Percy is a gryffindor though. He didn't say no because he was scared to fight. He said no because he didn't like Dumbledore approach. Again understandable as order was full of teens and ya with bright future if not for albus pushing them to fight

Mr and mrs Weasley make it seem like they don't want their children to fight but since they are affected by the war we can't say them no too. But they did everything in front of children in ootp. R + h+ h will be the front warriors because of harry but twins and Charlie and bill do follow their parents' foot steps..

The dynamic bw Sirius and percy I would like to explore but my brain is not much help in it as to what will be the interaction be like.

I mean with Sirius having seen with his own eyes that under Dumbledore regime they are all like sitting ducks, dumbles not helping his own unlawful imprisonment situation, making things difficult for harry.

What if the two join forces.

I too dont like age gap romances but in Wizarding word people live more that 150 years so what is a 14-15 year age difference.

If you are irked about a romantic relationship bw the two than you can share your thought on them platonically joining forces to help each other...

Sirius has a unique situation because he understand what it feels to just move away from your family. That it is not all sunshine and roses. That it is a tough decision. He also has been wronged by order and it's leader by ignorance and indifference, same as percy who like a typical middle child feels left out.

Sirius knows that though ministry is useless, this time he also doesn't wants to bet all his chances of win on Dumbledore like last time...

If you are interested I will like to hear your thoughts 🤔💭

Ok, first of all - I do not mind age gaps. It would be pretty hypocritical if I did, since my partner is 17 years older than me lol I cannot blame Percy for fucking a hot old man when I, too, fuck the hot old men. I find the whole concept of 'age gaps being irksome' demeaning - not to mention rooted in sexism, homophobia and ableism. An adult should be able to love another adult. Period.

That being said - Percy and Sirius... an interesting concept.

Overall I think, while they have ALOT of similarities, they have some aspects that would grind against each-other. That doesn't mean I don't think they can work, I just think they have a hump to get over: - Sirius' judgemental nature and being a playful bully. - Percy's pride and protective nature (being like his mother).

Sirius is an understanding, compassionate guy... but there are things that crawl right up under his skin: - Like 'abandoning' the people you love. He isn't an idiot, he can tell Percy hasn't abandoned his family, but he would think he is wasting his time at the Ministry of all places rather than actually being there physically and emotionally for them. - He also can't stand stiffs. His parents, his brother - even Molly herself, doesn't want the kids to do anything... He is a firecracker. He likes to poke sleeping bears and break some rules. - Percy is proud, to a ridiculous level. He will close his eyes to the truth in order to keep pushing. He has decided on what he will do - and even if everyone he loves says no. He has the childish desire to be a Big Grown Boy which leaves his ego easily bruised... and Sirius would find that naive, and perhaps a little too much like his brother. Percy may be an adult, but he acts like a snotty little brat.

The main dynamic I could imagine them having - Is Sirius being annoying, like a third Twin, someone that pokes fun at Percy's expense for a laugh... but with a burning, caring desire to not let Percy become another Regulus... or another HIMSELF. Facing the pain of having to lose a sibling before he has the chance to reconcile with them - just because he was stubborn.

I think Sirius would want to SAVE him from his own mistakes... and for Percy, having yet another person see his ambition as a mistake would be aggravating. Sirius' earnestness with his concern would harm his pride. And that's an interesting dynamic to work through. Perhaps, forced to abandon his pride - like being fired from the Ministry - would open Percy up to listening to an old dog who has seen the 'truth' of the world...?

Maybe spending more time with Sirius and seeing how the Ministry has treated him - how they continue to treat him - would disillusion him to the Ministry. He believes when his family says Voldemort is back, and he believes Sirius when he says he was innocent... and so he finally has to make himself wake up from his dreams and put his burning passions to a different goal.

Sirius is trapped in his house... but Percy is free. Maybe it starts as just running errands, but turns into a team. The both of them working together - maybe Percy even working within the Ministry, spying for Sirius specifically. Spending all that time alone together, moping about becoming jaded, drinking about their dreams going up in smoke... I mean if you want intimacy or romance that's a perfect launchpad.

I know in the extended text below its alot of negative stuff but I would DEVOUR a good fic about them. I would LOVE that. If you are planning on writing one WRITE IT - and if you aren't... any recs?

Extended thoughts below (900ish words)

Firstly... I love Albus. I stand by him and most of his decisions... though I agree that Sirius is probably not the biggest fan and for good reasons... but I don't think we actually see him disagreeing with Albus much in canon...? I might be forgetting something. Sirius is DEFINITELY keen on the 'child-soldier' thing. He FIGHTS for Harry and the kids to be involved when they are underage. If Percy wants his entire family out of the war, especially his siblings... Sirius wants them in. An interesting conflict.

~~~

I don't think Percy didn't join the Order because it was 'full of teens' - it wasn't. It had 3 teens that visited sometimes - and they were kept in the dark until they were 17. Dumbledore wasn't making child soldiers, aside from Harry - but what choice does he have? "...with bright futures if not for albus pushing them to fight" They won't have ANY future if they don't fight for their lives. By the end of GoF it isn't a question of if, but when: When will Harry be forced by fate to fulfill the prophecy? When will the Burrows' protective charms fail and expose them? When will Hermione fight for her life as a muggleborn? These events are guaranteed. Not hypothetical.

I know this is a tangent, but Albus fought in possibly BOTH Muggle World Wars and three Wizarding wars. He knows the horrors of war. He tried to shelter Harry, to keep him at arms length, unaware of politics, hidden in safe places... but he couldn't do that forever. Especially not when the Ministry was unhelpful, most of the Wizarding World was blinded by propaganda - and he was dying.

Shit I talked about Albus too much again, what was I saying? Oh yeah - I don't think Percy didn't join the order because of that. I think he simply had faith in the Ministry and Pride in himself. His older siblings left the country, leaving him as the eldest. His father stayed in a low-paying job he was constantly putting at risk... and wasn't trying to be promoted. He wanted to turn his families life around. He LOVES his family.

~~~

While Sirius knows how difficult it is to leave family you have a complicated relationship with - he left his family because he rejected them. He numbed himself to their fates the best he could.

Percy left because he loves them. He wants to support his little brothers and sister. He wants to make his Mother proud and earn his fathers respect. He was going to work his ass off in these turbulent times and work his way up to being Minister of Magic.

...Sirius would think that is very cute. He is jaded. "You really think Cornelius Fudge got to his position through 'hard work'' and 'honest effort'...? Oh, you sweet boy... how naive." But I also think it would bamboozle him a little: "You love your family, but you left them? You aren't fighting with them? You're messing about at the ministry instead of being their knight...? You're being a cute little secretary or whatever to the same old bastard that pushed for me not to get a trial??" Sirius is loyal to a fault. He would acknowledge Percy's drive as admirable but think he is putting it all in the wrong place. Sirius could see Percy's heart, his intent, his love - in a way that others don't... but he doesn't relate. Percy's heart is good - but he's off chasing silly dreams. This isn't the time for dreams. This is war.

~~~

Percy was a proud prefect and Head Boy - exactly the sort of rule-enforcing snob Sirius would terrorize for fun. That's not a deal-breaker or anything - but Sirius is more like Fred/George. An interesting dynamic since Percy can't stand bullying.

~~~

Percy has faith in the Ministry, enough to stick with them all the way until the last book - and thus, has little faith in Sirius Black. He isn't going to out him, but he doesn't see him doing much either: 'Sitting drinking in your mothers house... Not exactly trying to clear your name, are you?' He might even feel some embarrassment for how the Ministry failed Sirius, which could come out in all sorts of victim-blamey ways.

~~~

Percy doesn't have many people on his side, but he doesn't feel like he NEEDS them on his side. He is a big tough man all on his own! Sirius might show him compassion and some understanding, but I don't know if Percy would care to listen to him. He is a bit independent man now - and, for awhile, people trying to show him compassion and understanding might make him feel patronized.

~~~

Just the image of Percy sending back his christmas jumper, disowning his family... Sirius would go off his rocker. He knows what family pressure is like - but he also knows what the Weasley dynamic is. He knows what Percy is pushing away from and it is pathetic. They love him in all the ways Sirius' family never did, and for Percy to reject that would hurt Sirius, too. "...You made your mother cry, Perce. And Molly isn't like my mother."

~~~

Also sorry this took awhile I wanted to both give it good thought - and shit got busy, I fostered an injured bird for awhile

[sonadowwiki]

This makes me remember when pucca [original in japan] it was clear that garu had a thing for her and they already are dating [like one short when they kissed behind a umbrella or when garu gives puca a ring or flowers] but he is not as clingy as pucca.

But when america put their hands on pucca, they make pucca much more clingy and garu feeling unconfortable and even despise some touch from her when in the original pucca garu was like more shy than unconfortable. Even in the america seried they make garu try to make pucca fall in love with another man so he can finally be in peace, when in the original pucca (japan) is more open about his feelings for her and doesnt deny his love for her, even if she is so clingy.

I am saying this because this is literally what is happening with the sonic franchise. The american company changed many personality trails of many of the characters of sonic and sonic himself that many plot holes are in the stories and games. Is like they dont make research for how the characters and world works and just put their guesses into them, not realizing how many plot problems will lead. (Like in IDW comics in how in the hell blaze can bring her sol esmerals into sonics world when basically the plot of sonics rush is that the chaos esmerals and the son esmerals cant exits in a same universe)

I dont know, but the though of that makes me felt unconfortablr

From some slight research, since I have not seen the show myself, this show is from South Korea, not Japan. Also with brief researching, it seems that even if this character, Garu, kissed Pucca, it was for the purpose of restoring her memory and there was no clear announcement that he likes her back, just speculations people can make from this scene happening or from him trying to be considerate for her feelings sometimes. It seems that there is no clear indication of the two liking each other, especially since Garu tries to escape Pucca's romantic advances when he can. But, I don't know anything of the series, so I can't make a judgement on whether what you're saying is correct or not. Either way, the general concept is the same if it is like you're saying.

It is true that since Western influence become more involved with the series, things have gone more haywire within the series. Many plot holes appear, like the one you brought up. Other plot holes have also happened, like the characterizations of characters or plot points that make no sense. This is happening on both the English and Japanese side of things because the Japanese get influenced by the English's mindset on things. This shouldn't be a problem within the company because they should be going to their executives for direction, but these employees who are just putting in whatever they want without doing the research to things, are not doing that for things to be consistent and made with quality. It is an issue and it's understandable if it makes one feel uncomfortable or weird because of how ridiculous it is. This is not an issue for other game companies who have employees who do what their job entails and listens to their superiors, so this behavior is quite outrageous. They're not supposed to be doing whatever they think they can do or listen to the fans' every whims. That's not how a company works and this company doesn't belong to them to do whatever they wish with it. And when they do whatever they wish, it creates issues like this in the lore and stories that ends up lowering the quality of the games/medias significantly.

These issues aren't due to the company, they're due to specific arrogant employees who think they know better. If they listened to their superiors, then Sonic games would be on the same quality as other SEGA titles, such as Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth, Super Monkey Ball Banana Rumble, Unicorn Overlord, Persona 3 Reload and now Metaphor: ReFantazio. These are all games from SEGA that have done well in some manner and are across two different branches in SEGA. If these games are doing well and have quality to them after listening to the direction of the company for the product, then what is the issue with the Sonic branch? Why isn't the mascot for the company on the same quality as these games? And the answer to that is as I've said. It's due to these employees who think they know better despite researching nothing and who try to implement things like fan interpretation or personal desires instead of listening to the direction of the company for the series that belongs to the company, not them or the fans. They act as if they own the series and that they or the fans know better, but that is not true. The series doesn't belong to these employees, it belongs to the company and the company should be the ones to decide how things go in the series, not these employees. I'm sure that if the employees listened to the company's direction like the other branches did for their games, the Sonic branch would be in a much better state than it is now with less plot holes or other confusing inconsistencies. It's quite a mess they've created from being like this and doing all of these things with the series. Because of their actions, now there are things that make no sense and have no explanations.

[ghost-of-the-machine]

the head is loud recently and its. i hate to say its bothering me cuz. thats mean!!! they have every right, but...

look. when all that bad shit was actively happening, it made sense! protection, we needed it. DESPERATELY. swapping shifts frequently, because knowing him was so completely traumatizing, we needed so many different parts as shields.... but. then he was gone!! and it got real real quiet.... that silence was distressing after a while, but. now it feels..

im selfish!!!!! i know i am, we all know i am. im selfish and i wont stop being selfish. i dont want them to get in the way. isnt that so fucked up? but i really DONT want it... any time im alone, my head starts chattering and its driving me crazy

sometimes im completely absent from a conversation cuz i was alone prior and they. its so.. it feels AWFUL watching my hands autopilot a response, thats not what they deserve.. their presence brings me back down from it, but

i dont know, im disturbed!!! that boy is disturbed 🗣‼ i have a lot of complex feelings.... hiding behind them was easy before, i had something to hide from!! but now... they? its so completely disturbing to me, like absolutely vile. it gives me CHILLS.. i dont live fantasy when im with them!! sure, i look a certain way in my head, everyone does.. every part of me does. but.. theyre not here for that, they? theyve heard me, seen me.. and they choose to love me . for? me? for why!!! what is that 💀 its so disorienting.. its not a bad thing, but. head is complex never ask me anything cuz fuckkkk i dont know

im so detached from my body usually, that. the idea that they like anything about my actual physical self? is completely MINDBLOWING, borderline ridiculous. that cant be true, can it? its completely unfathomable to me. maybe im pleasant as a concept, as a part.. but. jsut. US? me? the thing that walks around and breathes. its appealing? it sounds so wrong...

i know im probably still reeling from. him obviously. he didnt really lke ANYTHING about me, other than the fact i was so willing to do whatever he wanted. didnt like my body, thought my face was mid. probably wouldnt have liked my voice. its hard to.. deconstruct all that self hate. i wasnt good enough then, yr telling me im good enough now? part of me, that mindless dog, he wants to believe it!! because he'll believe anything they say. but im bitter, im spiteful. im unlovable and im burning red. it cant be true, its just another lie..

lie for what? what does anyone have to gain from me anymore? its just. my point is that its so hard to come to terms with.. ME. the animal i walk around with. the animal i communicate with. the animal that looks at me in the mirror. ive thought for so long i could only be lovable as a concept, as a thought. never as the actual VESSEL right? its just so hard to wrap my head around, but... that dog isnt always wrong, yknow. i know that, hes adoration and heartache and never ending loyalty. he keeps it real sometimes i guess 🙄

its almost.. refreshing? but so so terrifying at the same time. ive never been me before.. ive never. IMAGINED myself, like imagined my body? my living breathing creature, ive never imagined HIM anywhere. ive imagined me and whatever fantastical form i find most comforting at the time. but. ME? me???? you pick ME? its me you say those things about, isnt that... horrifying? isnt that beautiful?

yeah its not any less confusing if you couldnt tell, even after ive talked about it im still. shocked!!!! for what feels like the first time ever, i dont feel like i have to hide behind a cooler self. they just like me?? 🤮 theyve seen me, heard me, they know my flaws and . they still LIKE me. absolutely harrowing experience, but.. maybe its good for me?

[roughentumble]

"i want you to paint comfort."

logan snorts. "what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"exactly what i said. i want you to think of your concept of comfort, and paint something that represents it."

"right," logan says, drawing the syllable out. "and what's to stop me from just painting some squiggles and being done with all this crap?"

"nothing at all, but i dont think you want to do something that's not productive. that's why you're resisting the exercise in the first place, right?" logan grunts at his therapist, caught out. "it can be an object, or a place, but i'd like something more abstract than that. think about the last place you felt safe. the last place you could really calm down."

he still thinks its stupid, but he finds his eyes closing, finds himself falling back into a memory. out in the woods. cold, cold dirt, against his back, under his nails, against his cheek. he'd laid down just to do it, and now he's absorbing the steady, resilient peace of the forest floor, the very earth beneath him. dark and cold and inviting. "it seems you have a memory," he hears, distantly. "what color is it?"

he hesitates. "brown." the therapist makes an inquiring sound, and a defensiveness rises in his chest. "yes, brown. like-- like dirt, and trees, and fallen leaves."

"i wasnt criticizing, i think brown's a lovely color. thank you for telling me the importance behind it for you, though. now, use that color, and paint your sense of comfort."

logan feels ridiculous, holding a tiny paintbrush in his big hands, hands used to hurt, hands used to kill, and now-- what, doing a child's art project? like that'll do something? like it'll make a difference. he's made it this far, though. stopping here would be as ridiculous as continuing. he dips his brush in the paint, and makes a line on the canvas.

he methodically paints the corners, brown encroaching on the center in an even march, a thick layer of one solid color. he gets lost in it for a while, thoughts falling away in the face of mind-numbing repetition. but before he fills the center, he pauses.

the dirt, it was cold. and this brown is a dark, cool brown, but it's not cold /enough/. cold surrounding him, enveloping him, icing out his anger and his rampaging thoughts and his sick sense of guilt, silencing everything. the cool, steady reassurance of the earth. he dips the brush in blue, and carefully paints the line of a circle in the middle of the canvas. then he fills that with brown, too. coldness, surrounding him. peace.

he feels strangely empty as he sets down the brush. self-conciousness fallen right away.

"may i ask about the circle?" his therapist prods, and he twists in his seat.

"it's... the coldness of the earth surrounds you." he says. it sounds stupid out loud. something sour sits in his stomach.

his therapist lets out an 'ah', and smiles, clasping him on the shoulder. "that's wonderful. thank you, again, for sharing this with me. it's a beautiful representation of comfort."

the words sound hollow to logan's ears, and he stares at his uneven brushstrokes, the wobble in the line he hadn't been able to straighten out. the monotone use of color, making everything look childish. he's no art connoisseur, but even he knows enough to know when something's no rembrant.

"it looks amaturish."

"the point wasnt technical finesse. the point was to convey a feeling. and you've done that beautifully."

he stares at the wet paint. a sea of brown, with a circle of bright blue. the concept of comfort. his own peace stares back at him. part of him wants to smash it between his hands. he doesn't.

thinkin about logan doing art therapy and thinking its stupid until the day it gives him a major breakthrough, and then he hates it because he thinks he doesnt deserve to get better when the dead can never come back

[krondarling]

Ludicrous Bulge: Character Playlist

1. Vagrant Song (Deep South)- Ryan Ike, Joshua Du Chene // 2. Walk on Water- Thirty Seconds To Mars // 3. All I Have- Charlie Barnes // 4. Blame- Bastille // 5. World Gone Mad- Bastille // 6. Don’t Give In- Snow Patrol // 7. Deep Water- American Authors // 8. Pompeii- Bastille // 9. Renegades- X Ambassadors // 10. Sanctuary- Welshly Arms // Playlist link: (X)

group track: Heavy Hands- Ryan Ike, May Claire La Plante, Joshua Du Chene

Based on and inspired by the character Ludicrous Bulge from The Mortal Path mini-series "An Indefinite Inheritance"

(P.S: Damn you Gary for making me type out the name “Ludicrous Bulge” with my own two hands.)

Image Credit: Harriet Bart (x) (x)

[enderwoah]

jimmy solidarity is so intrinsically mind-meltingly confusing i love him dearly and i want to squish him with a passion and i want him to win (or lose) the next life series installment and here is why

(this is a very long insanity fuelled rant sorry but if you too are obsessed with jimmy solidarity and the concept of him actually not being pathetic and possibly winning heres the post for you)

jimmy solidarity is the kind of guy that literally has one gimmick and its being the most pathetic person on every server he has the pleasure of being on. he is the wet cat of a man that gets bullied and taken advantage of and nobody listens to him when he complains or objects to anything and yet not once has he truly gotten angry about it because hes just that nice of a guy. sort of.

cause i dont know about yall, but jimmy solidarity is kind of a bastard to me?? i will never forget him swindling joey out of 50% of his gunpowder profits (u think that wasnt swindling?? consider the following: he was earning NOTHING before joey started doing gunpowder on his own. NOTHING. and yet all he had to do was go over and put on his little sad pitiful pathetic song and dance and beg for a cut of joey's profits and suddenly: whats that? a net profit?) i will never forget the sheer amount of times this guy has had to hold himself back from straight up killing or aattacking someone; not because of morals or kindness or goodwill, but out of spite. but out of "i need to be better than this person it hurts them more if i dont kill them in cold blood (in my head)." i will never forget the amount of times he has just straight up punched someone in the nose (/rp) because they were being mildly annoying in the middle of a conversation.

im not saying hes a mastermind thats manipulating everyone by acting lame but also just a little bit?? minus the manipulation part?? hes proven on multiple occassions that he isnt like stupid idiot baby man. like yeah he can be a little incompetent sometimes but so can scar and by now we have ALL recognised that scar is terrifying and could raze the server by himself if he so pleased. i think if jimmy solidarity's main bit wasnt 'its funny when my friends bully me' he could genuinely cause some serious damage. i think the one time hes like ever made a trap on his own in the life series (the one in his doorway in last life) it worked flawlessly which. like. a trap. in the life series. working flawlessly. hello. sure it was basic but the fact that it worked without a hitch should alone be a testament to his ability

and if thats too obscure for u i mean we can step out of the life series for a little bit and just direct you to the fact that he isnt bad at minecraft like at all?? if u havent had the pleasure of watching his dodgebolt 1v3 i really reccomend it because youd THINK that someone bad at minecraft would be trembling in his boots and being in a total panic in that situation. hell even someone AMAZING at minecraft in that position (grian) literally sounded on the verge of throwing up for his entire time and thats FAIR. thats NORMAL.

all i am saying is that jimmy solidarity rolled up to this 1v3, said 'ive got this,' and took out two people in literally a second and a half. and then just chill-ly said 'ive got this' again. the only time he sounded mildly panicked was when tommy was making him dodge for a ridiculously long amount of time. as soon as tommy missed twice- or, rather, as soon as he dodged tommy's bolts twice, mine brother in craft took one shot after like five seconds and it was over. every SINGLE time i decide to watch a jimmy mcc pov im sitting there like. 'damn. DAMN?? JIMMY SOLIDARITY???? POPPING OFF???????" at like more than one point every single time. there are so many other places that hes demonstrated that he isnt bad at minecraft but its late/early and my memory doesnt work like it used to

which brings me back to the life series. since we all know that his 'being bullied hahaheeheehoohoo' bit is a bit (and hey. its a good bit. im not saying its a bad bit. i think its funny and i think it gets even funnier when jim starts fighting back. if youre gonna have a long-lasting gimmick thats a good one and jimmy does a swell job at making it entertaining and also making it clear that it isnt serious) this means that he can un-bit it for a bit. or at least peel away the bit a little.

im just saying jimmy solidarity has huge bastard energy and hes allowed to let it free in the life series!! he will burn things down he will cheer at traps he will fight for his friends he wil fight tooth and nail and claw for his life (he started last life with two lives. he never got any more. he only died due to a trap and due to murder like COME ON). if he wanted to burn down a base he could if he wanted to set up a huge trap PERSONALLY i think he could hell i think if he went up to someone in 1v1 combat he would at least have a chance (depending on the person of course). i mean look at his dodgebolt performance all the man needs is a bow and some distance and hes APPARENTLY set for life!!

ill say it

if jimmy solidarity played it smart, he could win the life series. easily.

jimmy is good at making alliances with people (coughs and kicks the southlands betrayal underneath the rug Ignore That One he was Desperate he started off with two lives remember honestly it was a justified move) hes a litlte bit silly stupid and oft acts impulsively but he can direct that impulsivity against one person and for another. if he got himself in a squad like he did in 3rd and last life and stopped playing up the pathetic bit and set a trap for once in his life (/endeared) he could actually get himself some kills. some Real kills, not accidentally blowing up ren and skizz with tnt.

i dont even care how he does it. i just want him to win. and if he doesnt win, i want him to come top five at LEAST before getting horrifically stabbed in the back by someone he had been running with for the whole series that is the ONLY loss i will accept and still be happy about. the man deserves a girlboss moment please we're approaching two years let the man LIVE

[xiaq]

Hi, I have a question re:sex and Christianity. Small background: I still go to church, and I still live with my parents even though I'm not much younger than you, because housing is very very expensive where I live (pretty common here, I would say about 2/3 of my friends live with their parents and we are decently privileged kids)

Anyway. How does one get over purity culture? To be clear, I've never been told in church not to have sex, I've never gotten the gendered lessons that you got. But I am terrified of having sex. My first real, multi-year relationship just ended and while there was hand stuff etc, there was never any p in v sex (lol I feel 12). But I still had insane anxiety about being pregnant despite being on bc. And I think its because I know my parents would be so disappointed if I had sex. And if I was pregnant I could imagine all the gossip. And honestly I think im from a pretty open church, b/c one of our previous ministers kids recently got married at 8 months pregnant and lots of church people were at the wedding and supportive and her parents were there and everything.

I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???

(Asking because it seems like you've been pretty open about purity culture/removing yourself from it)

CW for sex talk (again)

How does one get over purity culture?

Oh man. That really is the million-dollar question, huh? Obviously, I can only answer re my personal experiences, and this is something you should talk to a therapist about, but I can tell you how I’ve tackled it with my therapist at least.

Purity culture is, at its core, an ideology that is perpetuated by shame. If you’re indoctrinated into purity culture when you’re a kid, the concepts become baked into the way you construct your identity, your perception of self, and your perception of your sexuality. It’s practically intrinsic, by the time you’re an adult, to feel shame any time you’re reminded you have a body, much less a sexuality.

According to the chapels I sat through every week as a kid, a girl's body could be 3 things: an intentional stumbling block for men, an accidental stumbling block for men, or unnoticeable. Women were to strive for the third option so as to keep their (and their male friends/authority figures) purity intact. After all, if a boy, or even your male teacher, had impure thoughts about you, it was your fault for tempting them (which, holy shit. I still can’t believe that was a thing I bought into for so long. If my 45 yr old grown-ass teacher had impure thoughts because he could see my 12 yr old collarbone, that sure as hell wasn’t my fault. But I digress.) The Only time a woman’s body can be something else, is when she gives it to her husband, at which point she must suddenly flip the switch in her brain that she is now allowed to be a Sexual Being and she must perform Sexual Duties despite living in outright fear of her own body and sexuality for years (decades?) up until this point. Jesus take the wheel.

Purity culture isn’t a thing you can just decide to walk away from if you’ve grown up in it. Because its ideology is insidious and internalized. So first you need to submit to the fact that you’re going to be fucked up about sex. It sounds like you’re there. Second, you need to interrogate what you believe. If you’re leaving religion behind entirely, you’ll approach removing yourself from purity culture differently than if you still identify as a Christian. It sounds like you might be the latter, which meant, for me, separating what’s actually biblical and what’s shitty, contrived, doctrine that I was told is biblical but is actually more political than spiritual. This helps you address the shame issue.

You need to throw away I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Lady in Waiting and all those ridiculous books you read and reread in the hopes of somehow obtaining impossible marriage perfection and look into actual scripture interpreted within its historical context. I could write a book on this, but the TL;DR is that the text of the Bible was written, translated, curated, and changed multiple times over thousands of years by human beings with human biases and, often, personal and/or political agendas. It contradicts itself! Reading it as it is—a flawed historical document—rather than some sort of God-breathed perfect document—is incredibly freeing. When you do, you’ll probably realize that purity culture is bullshit on a spiritual level. Which is a good start, if that matters to you. Because any time you start to feel shame or guilt you can ask yourself: does God actually care if I wear a bikini or touch a dick I’m not married to? Probably not. Wear the bikini. Touch the dick.

The most important therapy session for me was when my therapist asked what I would do if I got to heaven and God was actually the God I’d been raised to fear. What would I do if he condemned me for being bisexual and having premarital sex and becoming educated, for arguing with men, and failing to isolate while menstruating, and wearing mixed fabrics? If Montero had come out at the point, I probably would have said I’d pole dance down to hell. Instead, I said I would spit on heaven’s gates. If a god that cruel and that pointlessly demeaning really exists—a god who would create in me condemned desire—I won't worship him. The good news is, I’m 99% sure he doesn’t exist. At the very least, he isn’t supported by scripture.

Okay. The final thing you need to do is figure out what you actually want, sexually speaking. This bit is probably the hardest. I’m still in the early stages of this myself. You say: “I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???” Bro, I wish I had an easy answer for you. For me, whenever I’m feeling anxious about Sex Things, I tell myself: 1. My God does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 2. My partner does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 3. I do not equate my worth to my sexual habits. It seems silly, but reminding myself of those three things is massively helpful. If, after I’ve sorted through those, I’m still anxious or uncomfortable, I stop doing the thing. I evaluate. Am I overwhelmed and I need to try again some other time? Do I just not like the thing? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Sometimes you change your mind. Sometimes you just don’t know. That’s why having a partner who you trust and who’s willing to patiently explore your interests (and respect your disinterests) is so important. Half the battle, for me, was having a partner who told me they’d be ok with no sex at all. Because that took the pressure off me. If the bare minimum they need is nothing, then anything more than that is a bonus! Hooray! This is maybe TMI, but let me tell you. I thought I was asexual* right up until I was able to have moderately non-anxious sex. Never in my life did I think I would initiate a sexual situation but… I do now. It’s a fun thing to do with a person I love and, holy shit. I am furious that I nearly missed out on it.

Finally, re birth control: I don’t know how you can approach that fear in a way that works for you. If you don’t want to ever have penetrative sex, that’s fine! If that’s a point of anxiety you can’t get rid of, then don't push yourself to do it. If you find out you like other sex things, do the other sex things! If you don't like doing any sex things, don't do any sex things! Also, have you considered sleeping with people who can’t get you pregnant? Always an option if it’s an option you want to consider. ;)

Okay. I hope this was even a little bit helpful. Sorry if it’s a little convoluted, I typed it up in bursts during my work breaks.

*This is not at all to say that asexuality can be “fixed." Rather, it’s to say that things like purity culture can drastically confuse your sexuality in general. If you’re asexual, then this process is still important to discover what you like/dislike. Then you can be explicit about those necesities and find a partner who’s a good fit (if you want a partner at all, that is).

[hartigays]

hi hi same anon that gave you the concept abt poly billy, steve and eddie i thought of another thing i feel like eddie and billy would hate each other so much tbh like it would take steve to get them to truthfully like each other because lets face it billy’s a dick and i feel like if eddie knew billy before what happened they would have beef for fucking days especially with the same style but polar opposite personalities

i could legit see steve defusing a fight in the middle of the fucking upside down honestly it would be over something as petty as a joke billy made ant eddie and eddie getting pissy abt it but i feel like once all three of them finally get together it levels out

im a firm believer that billy is a bottom tbh so i feel like eddie’s switch ass would love topping him 🤭🤭

dont even get me started on steve

oh bestie i’ve had that same thought, like i can imagine eddie and billy hating each other the moment billy steps foot into hawkins, and even more so when eddie realizes steve and billy have actually become friends. steve having been friends with eddie for some time now, unlike billy. like billy is an ass, he’s arrogant, aggressive, pushy, hot-headed, and just all around an unpleasant person. and don’t get eddie wrong, he can be all about unpleasant people, just under the right circumstances. billy is, of course, not the right circumstance (not for eddie, anyway, not yet)

like billy probably parrots the “eddie munson, town freak” any chance he gets, slamming him into lockers in passing, and eddie being eddie, he just makes his goofy little faces and makes ridiculous grand gestures in the hallways for billy to try and humiliate him, and steve? steve is just trying to keep his head on straight, being the only thing holding back the anger between billy and eddie until it all comes to a head one day when they’re all downtown, steve forcing eddie and billy to hang out and try to reconcile because they’re both steve’s friends! and he wants them to like each other so if he has to force it he will!!!

cue steve pushing for them to be friends and it ending up in eddie and billy throwing punches in the middle of the sidewalk, steve trying to break them apart and they’re all screaming and it’s so chaotic until steve realizes what eddie and billy are screaming about: him. steve. steve harrington. steve doesn’t know if they even realize it, but they’re fighting over HIM. right in front of him. needless to say steve finally gets them both to shut up by yelling “if you both wanted a piece of this you could’ve just asked!!!!” and even though steve didn’t actually mean to say it out loud, billy and eddie stop right in their tracks like “ur just now mentioning this???”

they all talk, in depth, and it’s not quite perfect and might not ever be given all their problems and trauma, but they make it work and they’re beyond happy that they do. and imo, they’re all switches so they just be fucking whoever, wherever, whenever. and they all be having a fucking blast like they are just so chaotic and ejfjdkskdhfkdhfj makes me feel so insane

[dreamrecorder]

Family in the Inn

Wherein Verr adopts Xiao and how he got you as a sibling.

The idea was from here ksks---- also this is quite long | Part hc part trad, Im not even sure anymore hahaha it’s just- siblings are a wholesome concept and there are so much things to add i dont know what to do haha Enjoy~

After a night full of battles against the demons lurking Liyue, Xiao struggled to keep the corruption in him at bay. He was losing his mind in pain as the screams continue to persist both in volume and their harsh words. He needed to get away from here. From the bodies that was slain by his very hands. He wanted to go away to somewhere safe.

It was an unconscious thought- out of nowhere, Xiao just teleported himself into whatever place he thought was safe and crash landed into familiar wooden floorboards.

The crash was loud- enough for visitors of the inn to rouse awake. Luckily, Verr and Huai'an were quick to reassure them that they are safe.

Verr Goldet was first to arrive in their balcony and what she saw tore her heart.

As if a mother to a child, she quickly rushed to the adeptus whose body writhed to himself while shaking violently. Verr didn't care about the malicious energy emanating from Xiao- she just went to his side and cradled what she can of him.

Normally, Xiao would instantly get away from any form of touch, but he was too weak and too tired- so he let her be.

Verr began singing lullabies as she wiped his tears away, hoping to ease his pain even just for tonight.

The lullabies- they were soothing. Moments passed, his shaking lessened along with the dark mist covering his body. Xiao merely focused on Verr's lullabies- clinging to the innocent words the lullabies carry as if hoping that they would take all his pain away.

And they really did- the way the she cradled him was very reminiscent of how a mother cradled a child. She didn't care if her clothes were now damp from his tears. She kept singing until finally, Xiao finally slept with a genuine peace gracing his face.

And that is how Xiao finds himself seeing Verr as a mother and how Verr finds Xiao as a son. Always know that this inn will be your home with someone who cares for you.

~~~

The following day came and Xiao finds himself in his room, waking up to the sunlight filtering from the window. By the bedside, the innkeeper sleeps with arms crossed. As if waiting for him to wake up. Even if he sees Verr now in a new light, Xiao still decides that he does not want to be seen for now. But before leaving, he mutters a sincere thank you.

When they cross paths in the inn, there was no closure whatsoever about what happened to him that night. But before he leaves to protect Liyue again, Verr called him. "Xiao,"

The adeptus stopped in his tracks and faced her.

"Stay safe. If you get hurt don't hesitate to come home alright?"

Ah. The words of a mother to a child. But Xiao is no child and not certainly a child to a mortal- but still, Xiao finds him saying, "I'll be back."

This simple pattern went on for years. While they never called each other 'mother' or 'son' verbally, the relationship is there. Whenever Xiao leaves, Verr always reminds him to take care. And when he comes back, she never fails to greet him, "Welcome home!"

Xiao felt loved.

As small thanks, there are times Xiao would help in the inn aside from protecting his home from monsters and hoarders.

Like- helping Huai'an with heavy crates of materials and teaching Yanxiao Sweet Dreams (the inn got a boost from his recipe). He'll help as long as it doesn't involve interacting with other mortals aside from the inn staff.

Then the time came when Verr announced she was pregnant.

Xiao's initial reaction... was to leave. He didn't want the baby near him- no, scratch that. He didn't want to be near the baby or else it would catch his karmic energy if ever he loses control. The baby deserved a life free from any danger- free from him.

And Verr was having none of that!!!

She noticed the lessening appearances of the Yaksha within the inn ever since her announcement, so he waited for her son at the balcony.

"The evening cold will not do you well and the baby." He said as he materialized a few feet away from her.

Verr noticed his walls up again and her mother instincts told her that something's up. So with careful prying, she finally learned his reasons of him staying away. But with a gentle smile, she reassured him that he can never do wrong or harm to the baby

Carefully, she let out a small joke, "Who knows, I bet the baby will be even safer having a brother like you."

Oh how she doesn't know how her joke struck a chord in Xiao's heart. The adeptus vowed to protect you at all cost.

Throughout his mother's pregnancy, Xiao became very protective of her. And that also means being careful of himself whenever he fights in order to avoid his karma leaking out. There was this one time even, Verr convinced Xiao for him to hold her swollen belly and feel the baby. The moment he felt that small kick! His heart burst feelings he didn't think he would ever feel! Pure joy and love for another.

The day came when you finally entered the world with strong fits of cries- as if demanding to be brought back to the darkness you were familiar with in your mother's womb!!!

Despite accepting the fact he now has a little sibling, he doesn't show up to greet you to the world. Perhaps he was still in denial? That all of this was just some dream that he's desperate mind conjured up? But still his heart beckoned him to go to you.

With swift and silent movements, Xiao entered the sleeping couple's bedroom and there he saw that small bundle of you. The way his heart welled up in pure happiness. The mere sight of you just confirms that all this is real and not a dream.

Awkward, but careful and determined, Xiao lifted your small form to his arms and against his chest.

The way you instantly cuddled into him with hand accidentally tugging his hair just sent Xiao into a pure moment of peace.

~~~

During your infant years, Xiao would always spend his time with you during the night by sneaking into the couple’s bedroom and just simply holding you close. Verr, having noticed his nightly visits to you, have even prepared your bottles of milk in case you were hungry during his visits.

The first time you cried while he was holding you, surprisingly, Xiao did not panic. He knew you were hungry and he silently thanked himself for observing mortal mothers back then. He simply took the bottle Verr had prepared and gave it to you as he began singing the very same lullaby his mother had sang to him. That’s how soft Xiao is for you.

Although there are other times when the inn was very bustling with business to the point of having Verr and her husband’s hands tied. These are the times Xiao will then just grab you from your mother’s hold with no word and take you to the balcony. With a prepared bottle in hand at that. Verr would always smile at Xiao’s retreating back.

Innocence, it’s such a pure thing honestly. While playing with you, you somehow grabbed his mask. Xiao was about to take it, in fear you would cry at its hideous look. But you never cried or whimpered. You simply toyed with it by putting it on your face or by playing its horns. Perhaps even hideous things can still have a chance at love?

Your first word came while Xiao was holding you with Verr close by preparing your baby meal and it was gēgē. You kept babbling that word over and over while tugging at his hair so happily and Xiao can only hold you closer as his body shook in silent, happy tears. Verr taught you that word *wink*.

Come toddler years and boy did Xiao’s worry for you intensifies. You were an explorer! The moment you learned how to crawl, you were going to places here and there! You almost gave your brother a heart attack </3!! Especially that time when you were crawling up the stairs on you own!!! Your exploring habits only intensified when you learned how to walk~ To tone down your exploring tendencies- Xiao would take you for small walks where your tiny, little legs can take you. It was a cute sight, the two of you walking hand in hand. You were so small~

Childhood arrived and you became a big bundle of energy. Since you’re not old enough to help with the inn, you often bothered your brother to play with you or walk with you outside. Of course Xiao will always agree with a smile.

Glaze lillies only bloom during the night yes? But oh how Xiao was proven wrong when you approached a wild lily and it instantly bloomed under the sun in your presence. The joy that shone your eyes was so prominent, it was infectious. Because of that glaze lily, that is how the two of you got into your favorite past time, story telling with your brother. 

Also, imagine that sweet moment when you showed him your missing tooth and you both laughed off how you look ridiculous without it. 

His stories were mostly vague, but they never fail to amaze you. Stories about flying cranes, about majestic stags, how Liyue was created by the Geo Archon. But never about the Yaksha, that was a truth for another time.

The time finally came when you were about to visit Liyue for the first time. It was for a physical check-up with Dr. Baizhu, Verr said. Normally, you and your mother should have left the inn a day ago because of the distance but Xiao insisted that he teleport the three of you to Liyue. That was the first time you disagreed with your brother. “But I want to see the roads and places going there!” Ah, an adventurer at heart.

Xiao crouched down to your level and ruffled your hair saying, “Sure, we can take the carriages on the way home. That way you can see the beauty of Liyue.”

But there was another thing that grabbed your interest. “But, gege, teleport? Are you like the adepti you tell me in your stories? Like they use their magic to go around places to keep us safe?” Then a fantastical idea popped in your head as you eyes shone bright! “Gege, are you an adeptus?!”

Xiao inwardly panicked and he had no words for your excited question. He didn’t expect to have you discover the truth so soon. But lying can bring him nowhere. He took a small glance at his mother, who was smiling at him encouragingly. 

“Yes. I am one, but I will tell you more when you become older okay?” The first statement made you explode excitedly then the second statement made you pout. All in a milisecond. But at the back of your head, you listed this moment to your ‘adult stuff I want to know in the future.’

“Someday, I wanna be a cool adeptus like you!” You exclaimed proudly and Xiao smiled at your aspirations, but prayed with desperation to the Archons to never make that happen ever.

But this does not stop him from showing you his anemo vision. And now, your playtime involved use of his anemo <3

Your energy was basically uncontained when you step foot in the harbor and Xiao’s eyes were only at you. Despite having familial relationships, he still detests humans to a degree, so he glares at anyone suspicious walking on your merry way.

When you arrived Yujeng Terrace after the check-up, everyone was so surprised at how glaze lillies simply bloom at your presence, especially Madame Ping. But she was even more surprised when she saw you running to someone she hasn’t seen for so long. Seeing Xiao lift you up with a smile made Madame Ping’s worries for him ease down. Coming into eye contact, Xiao simply offered her a small bow. You noticed and saw the old lady he was bowing to. You were a respectful child, so even if you had no idea who the lady was, you also gave a small, shy bow to her way.

Since this was a one-day visit, you took your sweet time exploring the harbor with your mother and brother tailing you. You often would point things out that grabbed your interest. Sometimes, you would stop at the sight of a stray cat just for you to crouch down and pet it. You even found a black cat with gold eyes and a white diamond spot on its forehead. You excitedly lifted it to your arms and showed your brother, “It looks just like you, gege!”

On the first half of the travel back home, you marveled at the nature surrounding you. You never left the window side of the carriage you road. And then the latter half came, you were snuffed out like a candle with cat cozy in your arms and you cozy in Xiao’s arms, who was also asleep. Verr had etched this moment into her memory forever. 

A/N: Might add another part? I dont know i am indecisive hahahaha If i do add some, prolly more about how you met Venti and Zhongli and your visit to your mother’s home land, Mondtsadt-- 

[ottiliere]

not sure if you already have been asked this but what specific music do you think dirk would listen to? I'm a firm believer that he would listen to tyler the creator and devi mccallion I feel like he would specifically try to listen to "underrated" and "unknown" songs just to get a boost of confidence from being "cool"

ok he would not like devi m. i cannot understate this he would NOT like that kind of music. at all. i adore her music personally and it's been hugely influential and she is a total genius of course this goes without saying but the way she puts her feelings forward in her work is....not something he would enjoy seeing. it isn't that he can't relate or anything it's that he doesn't even try. think of it like this ok. he's self conscious. he's self aware to ridiculous, self defeating degrees, always. he is self conscious to the point of sickness. he's not going to like hearing someone sit down and sing about the most earnest, intense feelings they've had with a waver in their voice or whatever he'd think it's stupid. he'd demean it. at most he might respect technical skill but he would think very little of any music like that, i think. could see him going to far as to harass bedroom pop / alt artists for this reason in general...he thinks it's lazy stupid and shallow to sit around and sing about your feelings that's dumb weakshit literally anyone could do. if you're satisfied doing that your work is meaningless, because your work is tantamount to public self embarrassment. you know how in kids movies there's a character archetype of like a guy who doesn't know how to express themselves and thinks its stupid and gay to have feelings. he's like that but worse. it isn't even that he's scared of "opening up" or "being honest" with himself or anyone else; it's that the concept disgusts him fundamentally and prevents him from growing or moving on or recovering or coming to terms with himself or blah blah yknow. so yeah no devi sorry bro. tyler is too normal for him too ill be honest.

he probably does listen to niche underground people and all that but i dont think it's an ego stroking thing i think he genuinely likes the shit he listens to. he does think he's better and cooler than everyone else for listening to what he does but he doesn't listen to it with intention to make himself feel this way it's just the way he feels. he'd love captain ahab, raggedy angry, etc. i think i linked uncle outrage on here once.... that type of music i think is so him, not just in terms of sound but the attitude. self loathing and self aggrandizing in the same breath...very mean, very very mean words! lots of shock value offensive type stuff. oh such mean words. yeah he'd dig it. old msi type shit. i dont want to just bind him to that type of stuff though like i think he'd listen to comical amounts of music and could see him getting into mashcore or pisscore with an almost genuine fervor! he would love piss spears...he would crawl around online digging up peoples old shit that no one cares about anymore. even if he doesn't care for what he finds i think he'd do it for sport and for inspiration. can also see him listening to renard actively at basically any point in his life. but who doesn't do that.

[writingonsaturn]

Better Unsaid

a/n okay this has been all over the place!! it was originally going to be a blurb and darker and closer to smutty (so keep your eyes out for that??? lol), but then I made it softer and the concept got away from me and it got soooo much longer than expected lmao and i still dont love where it ended so maybe part 2?? i have the idea i just dont know lol 

summary: Reader is a princess and Anakin has been her guard during the most public season for the past two years (not the most logical thing but just go with it lol, it gets explained better in the fic) and after a near death experience the two are conveniently forced into a....

ONE BED TROPE ONE BED TROPE *cough cough* ONE BED TROPE WITH ONE PERSON HAVING TO WAKE UP THE OTHER BC THEYRE HAVING A NIGHTMARE,, :)))))))

  --

His smugness is the only thing about him I can consider ‘ugly’. And because I am so desperate to not have feeling for Anakin, the Jedi who has been assigned to protect me through coronation season (which lasts for most of winter), for the last two coronation seasons, I hold onto my distaste for that side of him. Which is why I suppress my laugh as he waits for my reaction with that confident smile. 

“Come on, that was funny.” 

Rolling my eyes, I let myself sit on my bed. I can’t tell if he’s actually funny or if my evening has been so boring that his sense of humor has started to become appealing to me due to comparison. In short, the suitor I was forced to spend an entire evening with lacked personality so much I’m starting to find Anakin funny.

“You’re much more entertaining than this evening’s suitor.” 

Anakin’s expression shifts slightly, his assured grin dropping slightly. “Another miss?” 

“You have no idea.” I relax slightly, taking a moment to be glad that I completed my father’s request and now I can just enjoy the time I have with Anakin. “I know my father’s desperate to make sure my marriage is useful for our people and that he worries about this selection process because he always thought my mother would be here to help, but sometimes I wish he wouldn’t rush it so much. It feels like all he wants me for is to marry me off in exchange of finance or weaponry or something diplomatic.” 

“You’re more than that.” His response is so soft I think I might have missed it if I needed it less. I curse myself for feeling so validated by him. His words shouldn’t mean anything to me. After all, he could easily just be saying that because agreeing with my father will just make me more unpleasant to be around. 

I smile politely while avoiding his eyes. I keep my hands on either side of me, fighting the urge to fidget. “Thank you, Anakin.” My words sound weak in my own ears, so I’m sure he notices my shift in mood. “I’m tired today, I think I’m going to go to bed early.” Normally, I’d be able to shrug off these kinds of things, but the beginning of Coronation Season makes me irritable. The anniversary of my mother’s death hits me harder each year. 

“Y/n.” My name comes out so velvety I can’t find it in myself to interrupt him. “You are more than someone meant to be used as some kind of royal currency, and I mean that as more than just a...friend.” 

I let his last word linger. We’ve tried so many titles that never seem to fit right. He’s the chosen one, one of the most powerful Jedi to exist, and the Jedi assigned to protect me each Coronation Season because that’s when my mother was assassinated. He’s my guard, but we’ve spent too many nights laughing together and talking about everything and anything. And I guess now he’s my friend, even though sometimes when he looks at me in a certain way or sits too close to me or reaches for my hand to guide me somewhere I can’t breathe right. 

“Anakin, you know I love when you’re here, even though sometimes you drive me insane. And I appreciate your kindness, but your words can’t change the truth. That’s how my father sees me and he’s not exactly wrong. I’m not a son, I haven’t been raised to lead an army or lead much, and--” 

“I’ve seen you in meeting after meeting, convention after convention. I’ve witnessed the way you handle real problems and I know how you care about your people. You’d make a great leader, you don’t need a husband to be valuable.” 

My chest swells, feelings I never let myself think about mixing with thoughts of Anakin that I’ve spent so long trying to avoid. “That settles it, you’re my favorite person.” 

He grins, the look warm enough to melt the odd lump in my throat. I fight down a smile as he steps forward. “And I wasn’t before?” 

“I take it back--your head’s big enough without the additional praise.” 

Rolling my eyes, I lean back slightly in order to recreate the distance he so easily destroyed. “And I thought you had finally warmed up to me, princess.” 

The use of my title makes me skeptical. The last time Anakin used it was when he was trying to ease me so that I’d walk around the palace garden so he had an excuse to do the same. It was beyond late and I was half asleep, but he had os much energy he was desperate and just needed to do one more thing. I felt bad that his schedule revolved so heavily around mine (and when he softens his eyes and says please, I’m left incapable of saying the word ‘no’) so I agreed. 

“What do you want?” 

Anakin dramatically clutches a hand over his heart. He throws his head back slightly as if he’s just taken a fatal blow. “When did you turn so cynical? I’ve been back for three days and I’m starting to believe you’re a different person now.” 

Yeah...he’s definitely getting ready to ask for something that’s more trouble than it’s worth. Then again, everything with him seems to be worth it in some capacity. Even if it’s just that one smile he gets when he’s truly content and doesn’t think anyone’s looking. 

“Mhm,” I mumble, still fighting a grin, “so you’re not going to ask me anything?” 

His lips part slightly as he exhales. I watch the way his eyes narrow at my victorious expression. “I don’t have anything to ask of you, but I do have a small request. A request so small you won’t have to do anything but say yes.”

Suspicious. Too easy. “You’re unbelievable.” 

“You just said I was your favorite person. Remember that.” 

I’m too tired for his coyness. I’d rather him make his ridiculous request now so that I can be in bed within the hour. Though I can’t pretend I don’t normally feel better after letting him drag me along on whatever ‘adventure’ he just needed to complete while also not letting me out of his sight. I used to tell him that I wouldn’t tell anyone if I wasn’t under supervision for an hour or two a day, but he dismissed the idea immediately. That’s been the cornerstone of everything. 

“What is it?” 

He sighs once, tilting his head slightly. The way his eyes soften tells me he’s already won at least half the battle. “They still haven’t caught the attempted--” Anakin pauses, something behind his eyes darkening. I know what he’s remembering. Last night, an assassin had gotten closer than they ever had. I had almost been shot in the garden, Anakin had barely pushed me to the ground in time. A fact he’s been beating himself up for since, especially considering that no one has been able to find my attempted killer yet. “They were so close to you. They were within palace limits and they disappeared like they never existed. Who’s to say they don’t work here and are waiting for the next moment you’re exposed? Who’s to say they aren’t here tonight, waiting for me to retire for the night?” 

I didn’t realize how my near death experience had been so personal to him. He, like everyone else, was beyond frantic after it happened. But my father put an end to verbal worry before it could truly begin. He said the best thing we could do was act like everything was fine as the assailant was searched for. Anakin hadn’t been particularly cheery after my father instructed the guards to focus their search on known enemies instead of prioritizing venting the staff closest to me. I comforted him as best as I could, but he didn’t feel like speaking about it and I had to worry about the suitor meeting my father wouldn’t let me cancel. 

“Anakin, you’re right next door to me.” I have to fight the urge to reach for him. “I was fine because of you, and I will be fine because of you.” 

He sighs once, his expression not easing. “And if the person is silent? The attacker could easily work in the palace, but no one wanted to direct the search inwards.” His words are more strained than I’ve ever heard them be. “I think it’d be smart for me to stay in here. I know you’ve refused having a guard stay in your room or outside your door, but...” Anakin sighs. “Your safety would be more assured.” 

Him staying in my room? The only line I’ve ever been allowed to draw, and I’m actually considering letting that go. If he seemed even slightly less sad, I wouldn’t even consider it. It’s not a good idea. I’m already too attached to him. “Anakin--” 

“I’d feel more assured.” 

Damn him. Stupid, extremely sweet Anakin who makes saying no to him impossible. I stretch my arm forward, letting my hand squeezes his forearm gently. “There’s no reason to not feel assured.” He doesn’t ease, the cloudiness behind his eyes remains stubborn. “You’re still worried.” No reaction, the haze that’s taken him isn’t letting go. “Fine--but tell no one or my father is going to take to posting guards at my door every night.” 

...I guess there are worse ways to spend a night. Which is kind of a problem since I’m trying to...enjoy Anakin less. Ugh, I even sound dumb in my head. “I promise, princess.” 

Ugh, he’s adorable. “You’re intolerable.” I stand from he foot of my bed and pull back the covers on my bed. He doesn’t reply, something dark still playing for him. I watch him move to face the door. Wait--is he doing what I think he’s doing? “No, you’re not going to stand there all night. You need sleep.” He has the audacity to give me an annoyed look. “I already didn’t want to do this so now you have to listen to my conditions.” 

He raises an eyebrow, his lips pressing together oddly. He’s trying to gauge something from my expression, perhaps he’s looking for buttons to press to get his way. I guess I look as stubborn as I feel because instead of arguing he just sits on the floor. What? I watch him cautiously, trying to figure out if this is some weird argument trick. 

“What are you doing?” 

“What you asked.”

And just like that I’ve put myself in a position that I will no doubt regret terribly the second common sense returns to me. There’s no way to deny that Anakin and I are closer than we probably should be. We’ve felt like friends first since the day we first met. I can’t think of any reason to not offer to let him sleep in my bed except those stupid budding feelings I refuse to label. 

It’s not like I actually like him. I can’t--I’m going to be married to some nobleman and he’s prohibited from ever forming attachments. I’m not even sure if we’re allowed to be friends. Having actual feelings for him would be so, so pointless. It would just lead to heartache and the ruining of the one genuine relationship I have. I’m just a tiny bit confused right now because he’s objectively really attractive and he’s always there for me. Always there to make a joke after a particularly rough meeting. Always there to offer me a supportive smile. Always there to humble me when I teeter on acting like my father. 

Anyone’s heart would flutter at that, so it doesn’t mean anything. And if it does, I need to squash any budding feelings now before I mess things up. Which is why I should keep him at arm’s length until I get it together. But is that fair to him? And what if doing that is making things worse? What if it’s just reinforcing the idea of having feelings? 

This is ridiculous. I’m going to get over this if it kills me. It’s just a bed and it’s only sleeping. I’m meant to be able to lead an entire union and I can’t sleep next to someone and act normal?” “You don’t have to sleep on the floor.” 

The second the words leave my mouth I regret it all. What’s wrong with me? Did I seriously think I’d be okay?

I hear his soft exhale, “I’ll be fine. I’ve slept in worse places than on your marble floor.” 

His voice sounds so weighted I can’t help but feel bad for not noticing that he’s still bothered. Whether he’s upset about his near miss or the fact that my father didn’t take his advice, I don’t know. But something’s wrong. The easy thing to do would be to just let him sleep it off. The smart thing to do would be to leave him alone until tomorrow. 

I think of all the times that I’ve been upset and Anakin had refused to let me go to sleep angry or sad or overwhelmed. “I know, but it’s really not a big deal. It’s not like we don’t know each other. I mean, last Coronation Season you buttoned me into more gowns than my handmaid. And I owe you for saving me from one of the worst suitors I’ve ever had.” 

“I’m starting to think we need to develop some kind of signal.” 

The tiny bit of lightness that’s returned to his voice makes all of my internal struggle feel worth it. “You always seem to know.” 

“That’s because when you’re reaching your limit, that one line appears between your eyebrows.”

I didn’t realize I had such a tell. I try to remember the way that the suitor drawled on and on about how amazing he was and how he couldn’t wait for the day he had a bride to bear his children and plan (tedious) social events. My hand moves to my forehead, trying to feel the crease Anakin mentioned. Can everyone tell when I’m growing tired? Am I that transparent? 

Anakin’s slight laugh steals my attention. He’s facing me again, his elbow holding his head up on the foot of my bed. “What are you doing?” 

“I don’t--I don’t think i get a crease between my eyebrows when I’m irritated.” 

I hear him stand. I don’t realize he’s approaching me until he’s so close I could touch him without even needing. to stretch. “No, when you’re irritated you raise your eyebrows slightly, because that’s when you’re at your most sarcastic.” 

“Really?” 

The corner of his mouth tugs upwards. “Just like that.” I force myself to keep my expression blank. “When you’re reaching your limit, your eyebrows crease here.” His finger taps the space between my brows so gently I almost don’t realize what he’s doing. “And when you’re trying not to laugh--which is often, because you refuse to admit that I’m funny--you press your lips together in a way that forms a dimple here.” The knuckle of his pointer finger brushes against the bottom of my cheek. 

I bite my tongue to fight the warmth spreading across my face. “I didn’t realize i was so transparent.”

“I can’t always tell what you’re thinking.” 

“I’ll take it.” Maybe if I was less tired, I’d argue a little more. “You know you’re not that difficult to read either.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes, I can tell when you’re just being stubborn for the sake of it. I can see it in your eyes and you’re doing it right now.” 

His expression harshens slightly before softening. “Y/n--” 

“I’m not wrong.” 

He sighs once, stepping back. I watch him pace around my bed before taking a seat on the edge of my other side of the bed. “Are you happy now?” 

“Happy that I won? Absolutely.” 

Anakin halfheartedly glares at me. “Careful, add a crown and a robe that trails down a throne and I’d feel like I was speaking to your father.” 

“Careful, another side comment like that and I’ll ‘accidentally’ kick you off the bed in the middle of the night.” 

“Not if I kick you off the bed first.” 

I trace a thoughtless pattern on the fabric of my bedsheets. “What are you? Twelve?” 

“I’m older than you.” 

“Barely.” I continue the thoughtless pattern tracing as I fight the sleep from my eyes. “Your comebacks are usually more creative than that.” 

He exhales, relaxing slightly as he rests his back against a pillow. “I’m tired, like you claimed to be.” His eyes flutter slightly, a bit of his exhaustion showing. “Go to sleep.” 

I should. I’m too old to think I can put off a tomorrow I don’t want by just staying up. This is stupid. I’m too old to think I can put off the anniversary of my mother’s death by going to bed. She had been taken from us on castle grounds, killed by a revolutionist who viewed my mother as a class traitor. I still remember the way she slumped to the ground, her blood staining the snow beneath her. I remember the way the guards were so busy chasing her killer no one thought to keep me away from the body. 

“Y/n?” 

I scratch the back of my arm in hopes of banishing my thoughts. “Yes?” 

“You’re being quiet.” 

“You said to go to sleep, that tends to be a quiet thing.” 

I can feel his eyes on me. “Since when do you listen to me?” Not trusting myself to actually reply, I only offer him a hum of acknowledgement. “I know you’re not half asleep.” 

Folding my hands on my lap, I avoid his gaze. “It’s tomorrow.” 

I don’t know why I trust him to understand my vague response, but I do. His silence stretches over us like a thin blanket on a cold night. Maybe he doesn’t understand what I’m implying. I can always correct him tomorrow, when my eyelids are no longer as heavy as my heart. The more seconds that pass in total silence, the more I think that maybe he’s fallen asleep. 

I wouldn’t be surprised, Anakin has seemed tired recently, like some additional weight he won’t share with anyone has been thrust onto his shoulders. A small part of me rolls in guilt. I need to be a better friend, just because I’m suddenly a little too aware of him doesn’t mean I can shrug him off and ignore him. 

My hand almost flinches away from the feeling of something surprisingly warm touching my pinky. When I realize that it’s just Anakin and that the contact was probably accidental, I force myself to ease. It’s not like we’ve never touched before, I don’t understand why I’m making it weird. Sitting in my bed in the dark doesn’t change anything. His hand turns slightly, pressing into mine a little more assuredly. Biting my tongue, I turn my hand slightly, exposing my palm. And just like that, our fingers intertwine. 

“She would have been proud of you.” His voice comes out so low I barely register the words. 

The words shouldn’t mean much to me--he never knew my mother and has no way to know what she wanted me to be.--and yet I find comfort in them. I smile, turning my head towards him. “You didn’t even know her.” 

He rolls his eyes slightly, relaxing further before squeezing my hand once. “Who wouldn’t be proud of you? You’re kind and smart and decent to be around when you’re not telling me what to do.” 

My heart swells in my chest so much I’m surprised it doesn’t burst. Could he be cuter? “Yeah...now I’m sure you’re my favorite person.” 

“Now you’re sure?” 

The smugness in his voice has me rolling my eyes. “Don’t make me regret saying that.” 

“Maybe in the morning,” he says easily, “now go to sleep. There’s nothing worse than escorting you from meeting to meeting while you’re tired.” 

“I’m not that bad.” Even in this darkness, I can make out the way he raises an eyebrow. “Shut up--I’m going to sleep, but not because of you.” 

He lets out a slight huff. “You’re impossible.” 

The desire to respond to his comment is not enough for me to win the fight against the weight of my eyelids. The moment my eyes shut, I feel powerless to anything that isn’t sleep. I let myself fall into a weightless sleep, my only tether being the Anakin’s fingers around mine. 

--

A distant noise yanks me from my sleep. I’m too drowsy to do anything but register the sound. I hear another similar...whine? cry? I can’t tell and I’m too asleep to figure it out. I almost fall asleep again, but a third distressed sound keeps me from it. I wipe my eyes lazily with the back of my hand as I try to sit up. 

Squinting, I make out a figure on my bed. It takes me a moment to remember Anakin and how I fell asleep. Our hands are still together and no light is peering through my window so it can’t be that long since I fell asleep. Another disgruntled sound carries itself throughout the room. I shift slightly, leaning over Anakin cautiously. 

Golden brown curls are beginning to stick to his forehead and his eyebrows are drawn together sharply. He’s having a nightmare.  I shift even further forward before cautiously placing a hand on his shoulder before squeezing him gently. 

“Anakin,” I whisper, “it’s not--it’s not real.” His eyebrows draw together even more harshly. I shake him a little more stubbornly. “Anakin, wake up--you’re having a ni--”

 My forearm is grabbed so suddenly I barely register it before I feel my back shoved into my mattress. I blink twice. His dark eyes are frantic and the look on his face is far from the gentle, easygoing expression I’m used to. He’s breathing deeply, his chest rising and falling from above me. I swallow a slight panic and something I don’t understand as I try to keep my eyes on his face and my thoughts away from how close he is. Anakin pries his fingers from my forearm one by one until only his palm is touching me. 

“Y/n, I--” 

“It’s okay.” Honestly, I’m more worried about his uneven breathing than the way he grabbed me. I can’t imagine everything he’s been through or how justified his nightmares are. Anakin moves his hand away from me. I don’t sit up until he’s off of me and sitting with his back against my headboard. “It’s okay--I just--you were having a nightmare and I thought I should wake you.” He doesn’t react. I turn my body further, keeping my back straight. Anakin doesn’t move, and the longer he stays still, the more I feel like I should say something else. “Do you want talk about it? Or do--do you want to talk about something else? Or go to sleep? Or get some water? Or--” The far off look behind his eyes silences me. I scoot forward slightly. “You’re okay, Anakin, I promise.” 

His head turns at that, his eyes searching mine for something I don’t understand. “I thought...” He cuts himself off by swallowing once. 

I shift a little more, trying to find anything normal in his expression. “Thought what?” 

Anakin’s hand is on my arm so quickly I don’t even register his movement. I let his fingers press into my skin. He’s holding onto me like I’m a figment of a dream and he’s beginning to wake up. “I thought I’d failed.” He exhales, the sound heavy. “Failed you and that you’d--I  thought I had lost you.” 

A lump rises in my throat, thick and unmoving. Cautiously, I place my hand over the one still gripping my shoulder like a lifeline. “You didn’t. Nothing happened, it was just a dream.” 

His gaze falls to the ground before he repeats the last of my words. “Just a dream.” There’s a hollowness to his voice I don’t understand. 

I exhale, carefully running my thumb over his knuckles. “Yes.” He doesn’t say anything but his expression hardens again. I let us sit there like that for a long minute. “I promise.” 

“You can’t promise things like that.”

I sigh, unsure of where to go from here. “Bad dreams are only bad dreams.” He doesn’t reply. “I think you should try to get some more sleep.” 

Anakin is unresponsive. I shift back, but before I can transition from almost being on top of him to just sitting next to him, he pulls on my arm to keep in place. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.” 

“Nothing’s going to happen to me.” 

“You almost died today, y/n. I was right there and if I had been a second later--” 

“But you weren’t.” He doesn’t ease. “You were there and I was fine. Don’t torment yourself over what could have been. You’ll drive yourself crazy.” 

“If anything ever happened to y--” 

“It’s not going to,” I whisper, ignoring the way his hold on my arm tightens even further, “Especially this time a year when I have a pretty good gau--” 

He tilts his head slightly, eyebrows drawing together and a ghost of a smile on his lips. “Pretty good? Really?” 

“Someone needs to watch your ego, chosen one.” This time when he tries for a smile, the look has some strength behind it. Relief pools in my stomach. “Now get some sleep, tomorrow’s a busy day and when you’re sleepy you’re beyond irritable.”  

Anakin lets me pull away enough to lay down, but he doesn’t follow. Not for a long second. When he does, his movements are impossibly rigid. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as carefully as I can manage. 

“Y/n?” 

I regret turning my head immediately. I didn’t realize how close he was. It would take no effort from me to make our lips meet. Wait--why am I thinking of that? I’m not allowed to think of stuff like that...especially not about him. 

“Yes?”

He lets out a breath before moving his hand. I don’t understand his hesitation until I feel his hand cupping my cheek gently. “What if next time I’m not enough? What if next time I lose you because I’m not strong enough?” 

I never thought my death would be such a personal thing to him. Sure, I knew that we had some kind of bond, some kind of friendship, and that my death would bring sadness. But I never imagined I’d matter enough to him that thoughts of my death would be frightening enough to slip into his subconscious and become a thing of nightmares. 

“You are enough. Nothing is going to happen to me and if it does it’s not going to be because of you.” Anakin’s lips press together in a way that implies serious uncertainty. His thumb brushes across my cheek so unexpectedly I almost ask him what he’s doing. The intensity behind his eyes is enough to burn me. “Was your dream really that bad?” 

He lets out an uncertain breath as his eyebrows draw together. I don’t miss the way his jaw clenches. “It’s more than the dream. I...y/n, princess,” he tacts on, a hint of humor returning to him, “you’re more than a mission to me.” 

The admission is so soft I can’t help but smile. “I know, Anakin, we’re--” 

“You’re more than a friend to me.” I don’t know if my blood freezes in my veins or if my lungs don’t contract when they should or if my heart literally skips a beat, but I know something in me completely stops at his words. “I--” 

“Don’t say it.” I don’t know how I managed to cut him off so sharply and I’m a little disappointed when I do, but it’s the right thing to do. Thought of the code that’s so important to him have clouded half the immense shock and joy swelling in my chest. “What you’re trying to say...I um, I want to say the same.” I try to drop my gaze but he tilts my head up slightly with his hand. “But we shouldn’t, you know that.” 

"You want to us to pretend that nothing’s different? You want me to escort you from meetings with one suitor to the next every Coronation Season until you’re married off?” 

“No, I’m not saying that. The point is that I’m not saying anything.” His eyebrows draw together in uncertainty. “Isn’t it enough for now, for both of us to just know? If we say it...that could mean bad things for you. And I don’t want to be a bad thing for you.” 

“You could never be.”

It’d be so easy to believe him. To believe him and to let him say what I never imagined I’d be able to hear and damn the consequences of tomorrow. “Can we just refrain from verbally saying anything until you’re sure?” 

“I’m sure right now. I’ve been sure since the first time we ever walked in the garden together. The night after the first Coronation Ball I escorted you to.” 

I remember that night well. The way he hadn’t scolded me for needing air or taking off my uncomfortably high heels to walk in the grass. “If you mean it, you won’t say it yet. I refuse to get in the way of what you’re meant for.”

His thumb runs my cheek entirely, stopping at the corner of my mouth. “Are you capable of not disagreeing with me?” 

Rolling my eyes slightly, I place my hand over his. “Probably not.” 

Anakin exhales, his playful irritation clear in the sound. “You’re impossible when you’re tired.” 

“I am not tired.” 

“I can see the sleep in your eyes.” 

“I can see it in yours too.” 

He pauses, eyebrows drawn together cautiously. “I’ll go to sleep if you do.”

He must be more tired than I thought if he’s compromising with me so quickly. “Deal.” 

Neither of us close our eyes for a long second, we just watch each other with wide eyes. It still doesn’t feel like he’s eased, but he’s come back to me so much more than he was earlier. I’ll make sure to check how he’s feeling in the morning. The first morning after we’ve...I don’t know. 

I’m trying really hard not to get excited because anything that’s been not said could be taken back so easily. That’s the point--but it’s hard not to let my heart get ahead of my rationality. I’ll just take the good for what it is for now and tomorrow we can figure out the rest. Even though he’s not allowed to form attachments and my father really wants to marry me off to foreign royalty.

Tomorrow. This can begin to be solved tomorrow. My eyes shut and I let myself roll fully onto my back. The second I’m comfortably settled, I feel Anakin shift against the bed. I’m too tired to open my eyes until I feel a weight placed against my chest. 

I open my eyes on instinct, less surprised than I should be when I see Anakin’s head resting against my chest. Before I can speak, I feel his arm rest against my side. “Anakin,” I breathe, my hand moving to smooth his hair out of his face the way I’ve wanted to for so long. “What did we just talk about?” 

“You said not to say anything,” he mumbles comfortably, “I’m not saying anything.” ...It is kind of the ideal compromise. Especially since I’m too tired to find reason and he feels so warm. “I can feel you overthinking. Go back to smoothing my hair before I have to rise and stand at your door so that your handmaid comes to wake you. Something tells me she’d be glad for the excuse to get rid of me.” 

That might be the most dramatic thing I’ve ever heard him say. Selma is the most patient woman in the palace. “Selma would never report anything involving me, I can’t believe you don’t like her. She’s the sweetest woman I’ve ever met.”  

“She’s the one that doesn’t like me,” he says, “she always watches me like she’s trying to figure out if I’m planning on stealing you away.” 

Too tired to fight my smile, I go back to smoothing his hair out with my fingers. After a moment, he lets out an exhale that relaxes his entire body. “Goodnight, princess.” 

“Goodnight.” The word is barely a mumble as I feel sleep tug against me for the second time tonight. 

It’s strange, but my excitement doesn’t diminish my tiredness, it just makes the prospect of rest feel so much fuller. Safer. Because there’s so much to sort out and grieve but it’s okay, because we have the time and everything feels okay because Anakin is here, right beneath my fingertips.