#I dont even feel like speaking for the next three days

[jellyjamheadobb]

I just got my hair BUTCHERED and I am on the VERGE of TEARS :)

[kadwrites]

an introduction | T.S

previous part | next part

or check out the series masterlist

summary ; you meet your husband to be for the first time.

warnings ; angst, dysfunctional family ig? , arranged marriage trope. bad writing?

a/n ; is it good? is it bad? is it too long? who knows. thank you for the support <3 please let me know what you think!

_

you hadn't left your room for the past three days. celest would be there , feeding you, holding you as you cried.

tonight though, you couldn't sleep because the sounds of your siblings yelling is keeping you away from the slumber you very much needed.

"you did what?"

oliver's brows furrow, his very pregnant wife , renee , sits beside him, her eyes open wide and a hand on her belly.

his mother tries to act like she didn't feel the guilt clawing at her heart , she sips her tea, "it's about time she got a husband."

"mum , what were you thinking? what has gotten into you?" his voice isn't loud, it isn't his usual roar, which is what concerned his wife. she puts a hand on his shoulder "you're forcing 'er to marry thomas shelby? are you fucking insane? have you lost your bloody mind?"

"im not forcing her to do anything, she agreed."

"after ya slapped 'er."

celest lets out a chocked sob at the mention of that

his mother's eyes are stern when they look up at him, resenting the fact that he brought it up

"she's a wild girl, she raised her voice at me"

"what did you expect 'er to do?" he got up, and his wife desperately tries to calm him down "lay on 'er back and open 'er legs?"

"to obey her mother."

"the mother that treated 'er own daughter like a piece of meat?" his jaw clenched, his hands shake "how could you do that? you didn't even tell us anything."

abraham is pacing around. his girlfriend ,anna stands in the doorway, watching this unfold. what else was she supposed to do?, its not like she can do anything. celest is sitting on a chair, her face buried in her hands as she cries. their father wasn't at home, he was out visiting his brother.

he's been avoiding this very incident like the plaque.

"when did this even 'appen?" abraham walks and stands next to oliver, both of them staring at their mother, his voice trembles as he tries to hold back whatever he had to say.

"why does it matter?" their mother slams the teacup on the table "it's already happened. what good is it going to do if we keep talking about it?"

"how long 'ave you been plottin' at this?" oliver's voice gets louder, his wife tries to get up but cant, abraham grabs his shoulder instead. "are you that desperate for money?"

"i did it-"

"for 'er ? securing 'er a future, yeah? is that what you tell yourself?" celest finally speaks, her face glistening with tears as she stands up

celest was always her mother's daughter. being the eldest, she always aimed to please her but when this happened, she couldn't even stand to look at her mother. she knew their mother was looking for a suitor ,she tried to reason with her, telling her how her younger sister would never agree, that she'll just yell and maybe even try to run away. celest never knew that the suitor her mother had in mind was thomas shelby, she never knew that he'd already agreed to all of this.

their mother's eyes move to celest, renee and anna share a look , and anna stands with her mouth covered. "this is not going to end well." ,they both think.

"what?"

"i said is that what you think you're doing? that you're doing whats best for 'er?" celest repeats "when you and i and everyone in this room knows who thomas shelby is, we know what he does, we know how he lives"

"he will take care of her." she raises her voice as well

"mother...." abraham warns, with his eyes closed. he knows the words she will say next would just anger everyone further

"i dont want her to end up like you! with a man that has you living in a piss poor excuse of a house, running after his spawn." her mother spits those words out like venom.

"i love 'im, i chose 'im, and i never ever regretted that decision, i never once complained,i never doubted his love or loyalty" celest walks closer "i will live a good life with a man who is good to me, an honest man. would she say the same about the husband you chose for 'er?"

"she will love him! she will grow to love him" she yells those words, as if she desperately wants them to be true.

celest lets out a chuckle , looking at her mother as if she was insane "do you not hear yourself? do you not hear how you sound?" then she moves even closer,"you're ruining 'er life!" celest cried, her screams sound through the whole house, abraham is now holding her back, as she squirms and thrashes "is this what you fucking want ? for your own child to live a miserable life?"

oliver left the living room at some point and he was inside your room now, somehow.

he crouched at the side of the bed, where you're laying on your stomach, cheek against the pillow and covers tucked up to your neck.

"i..." he tries to speak, he lets out a breath "i didn't know" he felt guilty for some reason, as if he could've stopped this.

"i know"

"you don't 'ave to say yes" he puts a hand on your head smoothing down your hair. oliver was never the one for affection, always awkward with it. "you don't. you can say no"

"i cant" you whisper back to him, your eyes look at him and they are once again filled with tears, your lips quiver

"yes you can"

"no i can't" you let out a sob "and you know that."

he just looks back at you, keeps on smoothing down your hair

"its not your responsibility to save them."

"it is now"

and he knew he couldn't change your mind, "she says he's comin' by tomorrow ,to see you."

silence ensues. you two just stare at each-other not knowing what to say

for the first time in his life, oliver the man with the biggest mouth, the loudest voice, the one who always fought you over that one spot on the table, doesn't know what to say. he has nothing to say.

he slowly gets up, and leaves the room, closing the door behind him gently.

and when that dreaded morning comes, you find yourself on your vanity chair, looking at your reflection in the mirror, your face still almost emotionless

celest stands behind you, brushing your hair,she's crying silently, and you just stare at the mirror

you knew that those steps belonged to your mother, you'd memorized how they sounded when you were a child , when you pretended to be asleep so she wouldn't know you'd stayed awake past your bedtime. she walks and stands next to celest, you don't look at her, you just stare at yourself.

celest puts the brush on the table and she walks away, she walks to the window, trying to calm down. your mother picks up the brush.

"i know you think im cruel, and that i'm selfish. but i did it for your sake." she speaks

this is the first time you'd even seen her since it all happened

your eyes dart up to her, she doesn't look at you, she just looks down at your hair as she brushes it.

"when your father got sick, i never thought we'd lose the farm too, we lost the very thing that gave us most of our money." she pauses for a second "i know this isnt how you wanted to get married, it was not an easy decision for me either"

"i don't love 'im" your voice is soft, its not angry

"love isn't everything, you don't need it to be content" she continues "i didn't love your father when i married him , but love follows"

"he is nothing like my dad"

your mother stops again "he's a hardworking man, he was in the war , wasn't he? just like yer father."

"my father was a farmer," she muttered "that's what you loved about 'im, what you've come to love. that he is a good man but the man you're marrying me off to isn't"

you sound like celest.

your words cut deeper than you thought they would, your mothers eyes close, she sighs "you're my youngest child and i want you to live a good life when me and your father are no longer here .a safe life. i dont want you to need a roof over your head or worry about money or food"

you don't want to argue , so you don't. you just let her brush your hair and neatly style it. she brings a box and opens it, inside it a golden necklace with a ruby as a pendant, she puts it on you, she smiles at your reflection

"i wore it when i married your father", maybe it will bless your marriage too, your mother thinks to herself.

you don't say anything, you just do what you're told. you were too tired to fight this anyways. you just wanted this day to pass

and then you hear it, your brother's voice as he greets him, despite his anger your oliver sounds polite. their voices are muffled but you hear them.

you mother walks you down the stairs and when you descend you see him, on the green sofa , talking to your father and your brothers and as if he could sense your presence his eyes dart up the stairs and he sees you.

you feel as if the whole house ran out of air, and as if your lung collapsed. you look back at him nonetheless as you walk down the stairs.

it feels as if their voices are distant as your family greets him, very welcoming and warm they sound but you can't process a word. you just look at him. you think you mumbled a greeting too, you're not sure.

he got up when you entered the living room, he looks you up and down but only for an instant and then his eyes go back to yours. you cannot see any emotion on his face.

you sister stands at your side, renee on the other, they sit with you between them on the couch facing him, the rest of your family scattered around the room but you didn't look at them, too busy looking at the man you'll marry. it's almost as if you can visibly see the blood on his hands.

but when he speaks , you snap back into reality out of your trance

"its a pleasure to finally meet you."

his voice is deep, calm and collected. for some reason it sends a chill down your spine

"the pleasure is mine" you say back, as politely as you could.

slowly, person by person, your family leaves the room

you glance at the window, your brothers and father are outside smoking, pretending to not watch. celest, renee and anna are under the foyer.

your mother and mrs gray are in the kitchen, having tea, when did she come in here?, you didn't even notice her.

you lean back against the sofa, you stare at him just like he stares at you

"mind if i smoke?" he already has his cigarette between his lips , he pulls out his lighter

"no" you say curtly , you sit on the sofa in the most expensive dress you own, your newest heels,

he offers you a cigarette, you eye it. you hadn't smoked since your parents caught you smoking on the roof but they've disappointed you, so what if you disappoint them one more time

you pull a cigarette out, he passes you the light and you light it, then putting it out

he leans back as well, crossing his legs

"are you good with children? can you care for them?"

you nod, your cigarette hangs between your fingers"i 'ave one nephew and 4 nieces, one on the way too"

"i 'ave a boy"

his eyes give nothing away no matter how long you stared at him , looking for a crack in the mask

"what's his name?" you ask softly

"charles"

"how old is he?"

"four, he's turning five soon"

"is that why you're looking for a wife? to look after your son?"

"thats a part of it, yes" he exhales the smoke, he throws an arm around the back of the sofa

"what's the other part?"

"i need a wife and i want someone i can trust around my boy when im not around"

you nod , your eyes look away for the first time.

"do you feel like you can do that?"

you turn back to look at him

"i believe so , yes"

he nods, "are you being forced into this?" he's blunt. it doesn't take a genius to know that you're not happy, that you're reluctant.

"no, i'm not"

"i don't want to marry you if you're unwilling"

"i said i'm not ,didn't i?" you tried to hold back your tongue, but you couldn't

his brow raises at this ,"you don't exactly look like you're content with your decision"

"is this an interrogation?" you ask, stubbing the cigarette on the ashtray that sits on the table. partly because the taste of it made you nauseous, having not had one in years. the other part annoyed and defensive

"i believe its called an introduction" a his face is still stoic, but his voice is betraying him, it's sounds as though he's amused.

you look up, you hate to admit it but you can't deny it. he looks handsome, in his expensive suit, his glasses, his cheek bones. celest was right, at least he is easy on the eyes

"an introduction, aye?"

"hmm"

you just look at eachother, you blink a couple of times, then lean back again.

"its my decision, mr shelby." you try to compose yourself, "it wasn't forced on me,"

he nods again,

"do you 'ave any conditions?"

"i do..." you lick your lips nervously "my father, he's sick"

"i will take care of his medical expenses" he nods before you could finish that sentence

"it would be nice if i could finish my own fucking sentences"

he lets out a dry chuckle, and you take it as a sign to continue

"he's never been properly checked , we don't know what exactly is wrong with 'im" you sigh "my only condition is that 'im and my mother would be looked after, financially and medically."

"they will be"

"i want it in writing" you hesitate but then say it anyways , you don't know if you can trust him, you don't care if you offend him.

he looks at you, his eye travel between yours "alright"

you let out a breath you didn't know you've been holding

-

@tardisloverz , @optimisticsandwichgladiator

[stuniolvs]

keep you safe

matthew sturniolo

in which matt snaps at you because he is having anxiety before a show.

(please leave requests!)

matt had begged you to go on his second tour with him. you two were a fresh couple during the last one and he absolutely hated it.

he just missed you like hell and didn’t want to do that again. so you agreed to go on this one with him.

it’s currently the second show and you loved going to the first one with him so you were excited about this.

you guys had been driving for most of the day before stopping the tour bus at the hotel then checking in and dropping off all our stuff then driving back to the venue. now just waiting in the tour bus until the triplets needed to go in.

you had noticed that matt seemed a bit off but you just figured it was because he didn’t get good sleep last night.

“hey baby are you excited?” you ask matt who was watching tv. “mhm” he sighs not breaking his gaze from the tv.

you entered the venue with various security guards around you and the triplets.

meanwhile matt was biting his nails feeling extremely stressed and anxious. he felt sweat prick at his hairline. he started doing some deep breathing as he entered his green room type of area to get ready.

you quietly sat on the floor backstage wanting to leave matt and his brothers alone to get ready.

nick entered the room first wearing a purple shirt and some jorts. “looking good nick!” you compliment “thanks babe, i gotta go check with the sound people so ill be back soon” you nod.

then matt enters backstage. he’s wearing a blue tshirt and jeans, simple, yet he still looks so pretty. “hey baby, you look g-“ “shut the fuck up! god you’re being so annoying!” he shouts quickly storming out.

matt felt panic rise in his throat.

shit. shit. shit.

he felt himself start to sweat as he’s breathing restricted. he tried to take deep breaths but they’d just get caught in his throat.

“matt?” you shout down the long hallway knowing something was up with him.

“i-i-i” he tries to yell but it comes out barley a whisper. luckily you heard him in their because it was fairly quit in the hallway cause nobody went down it unless they had to use the restroom.

you quietly open the door and the second you see him your heart tugs. he’s sitting on the ground with tears running down his face, sweating, and trying to breath.

“hey, hey, matty.” you slide down next to him. you pick up his hand and place it on your chest covered with a blue shirt. matt looks up at you with glossy eyes. you take deep breaths as matt try’s to follow “so sorry” he mutters three times through strangled breaths. “matt it’s okay” you cup his face and pull him into a kiss.

he quickly kisses back, putting his shaky hands on your waist.

after a couple minutes you pull back.

you speak before he gets the chance to, “matt what’s wrong?”

“i-i don't know.” he mutters “i-im so sorry baby, i d-dont know what’s wrong. i don't feel good.”

“its okay matty. i love you and if something is wrong, even if you don't know what it is, please tell me and i can help."

he takes a deep breath“i love you more and i promise i will.” he sighs “i have to go, we go on in 10” he groans.

“okay baby, win for me. i love you so much,” you say with an idea popping into your head. he kisses your nose. you run a paper towel under the sink and wipe his face with it. “i love you too baby.”

you walk him over to his brothers and you place a parting kiss on his lips with a “you look so amazing matty.” and a flushed matt enters the stage.

you walk over to you favorite security guard and speak to him. “hey, i have to go get some things for the triplets i should be back about 20 before the show ends, ill text you when im back.” “oh yes of course mrs.sturniolo, ill be there to walk you in when you text me.” he nods “thank you so much!”

you leave and stop by your favorite flower stand and get a bouquet for matt. then you stop by target and get candy and stuffed animals of their animals for each triplet. you leave and arrive back 16 minutes before the show is gonna end, holding a bag full of stuff.

you enter the backstage area seeing the triplets enter from the stage, all three of them sweaty.

matt glances around before landing on you before he jogs over to you “baby! baby! i won!!” he says holding up his medal.

“good job matt! here you go, there’s more stuff in here but they're for your brothers too so can you go get them?” you ask while handing him the flowers you look up at him after your rant and see a shocked matt staring at the flowers. “these are for me?” you nod aggressively. he looks up at you and places a soft kiss on you lips, slightly leaning because there’s a bag and flowers in-between you guys.

he pulls back, “thank you so much baby. i'll go get nick and chris.” he says placing a soft kiss on your nose.

when matt, nick, and chris are in front of you you hand them their candy and stuffed animals.

they all hug you thanking you.

"are we ready to go back to the hotel?” you ask “mhm,” chris says, he looks exhausted.

matt drives them back to the hotel and you all settle down in your rooms.

matt dumps a bottle of water in a cup and uses it to put his flowers in placing his stuffed shark next to you in bed. “to keep you safe.” he said

you smile and open your arms, he lays on your chest. “i love ya’ so much baby” he mutters “i love you matty.” you kiss his head.

[daddy-dylan291]

KINKTOBER DAY ONE-TEACH HIM

steve harrington x reader x eddie munson.

summary: eddie teaches steve how to fuck reader after finding out in a playful game of truth or dare that he was still a virgin despite all the rumors

it wasnt uncommon to find the three of you together. in fact it was more uncommon to find you apart, espically during the summer. the heat was intense, luckily it was cooler the later it got in the evening but the sun still beamed threw the gap in steves curtains.

the trio of you, were sitting in different places sprawled out across steves bedroom. eddie sitting with his legs thrown out infront of him on steves bed,dark curls falling infront of his face as he rolls another joint.

steve sitting by the window, one foot placed fully on the floor the other bent with his head leant against it. the window open next to him the slight breeze that blew in feeling amazing against his burnt shoulders.

and finally you, sitting on the floor, laid out on your stomach flicking threw a comic book you found under steves bed. your legs just swinging slightly behind you as you hum along to the distant sound of whatever song was coming out of the jukebox on steves desk.

"cant you think of something more interesting?" you sighs rolling your eyes slightly.

the group of you had been playing truth or day for the past 20 minuets. and the truths and dares were boring. nothing out of the ordianary 'i dare you to lick your own foot' eddie's dare always were distgusting. or steves 'truth: how many lies have you told?'

"like what?" eddie scoffs, himself brushing his hair out of his face aagain as he packs up the rolling tray and grinder on his lap tucking them back away into his little box.

"i dont know, something a bit more fun" you mutter, your eyes darting away from your comic to glance over at steve seeing him looking between the two of you, an almost bored expession on his face to match yours.

“Okay...okay, so who’s next?” Eddie grinned, running a hand through his messy hair as he shuffles to the end of the bed the joint being pushed to sit behind his ear making you look over at him.

His deep brown eyes danced with mischief as the group of friends stared at each other, a mix of curiosity and anticipation hanging in the air, in hopes that the large feeling of boredem would quickly fade.

“I’ll go” Steve grunts, trying to mask the slight yawn in his voice. He leaned forward, his heart pounding a little faster than usual as he notices the gimmer in eddies eyes. that wasnt there before was it?He was always nervous around Eddie—there was something magnetic about him that both thrilled and intimidated Steve.

but he wouldnt ever admit that to anyone.

“Alright, Steve!” Eddie leaned back, eyes glinting with delight. “Truth or dare?”

“Uhh, truth,” Steve replied, his face warming under Eddie’s playful gaze.

Eddie’s lips curled into a smirk as he leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “Is it true that all those rumors about you being a stud in the bedroom are actually just rumors?”

the question made Steve’s cheeks flushed a deeper shade of crimson, his timid façade crumbling under the scrutiny.

your quick to look at eddie with wide eyes, yes the three of you wasnt shy when it came to sex but this was a big change compareed the previous questions that had been asked.

" you dont have to answer steve eddies just being an asshole" you speak quickly sitting up a small smile on your face as you look at steve before glancing back at eddie with wide eyes.

“Actually… that’s really not true. I’m… well, I’m still a virgin.” His confession hung heavily in the air, and the room fell silent, where laughter had just flowed freely.

Eddie was momentarily stunned, his mouth slightly agape as he processed Steve’s words. “No way. Really?” His tone was teasing but there was an underlying sense of curiosity in his voice.

your were shocked, there was no way. not with how you had heard rumors all the way threw school so far, about steve harrington. king steve.

"so you and nancy never?" i ask staring at him making the blush more apparent on his cheeks, he shakes his head his feet now both coming to firmly lay on the ground infront of him as he turns fully towards me and eddie.

“no erm...yeah, well, I guess it’s just never been the right time, you know?” Steve shrugged, trying to play it cool despite the heat radiating from his face. you could see the way that he was getting uncomfortable....in his mind his body was racing, he felt flushed. hot. and was confused by the way you was frowning up at him.

A sly grin broke across Eddie’s face. “Well, well, well! I think it’s time someone taught you how to have some fun, don’t you?” His eyes flicked toward you, a glint suggesting he had a devious plan forming, he stood up quickly, both yourself and steve looking at him with confused and shocked eyes.

You felt a flutter of excitement mixed with trepidation. You loved Eddie—his slightly dominant persona always made your heart race. But there was a curiosity and closeness with Steve that made you feel equally drawn to him. You looked between the two boys, sensing the charge in the air.

“Wait, what do you mean?” Steve asked, his brows furrowing slightly, though you could see the intrigue building.

"eds?" you ask watching eddie walk past you, his hand reaching out to pet your head a small shush coming out of his lips as he walks over to steve.

standing just infront of him, steve looks up at eddie. now that the munson boy was closer he could see the pink flushed look on steves cheeks and the way that his eyes were glazed over just the smallest amount.

eddie would have to fix that he thought.

“Dare!” Eddie smirked, a challenge in his tone., as he reaches out and took steves chin in his hand. you wacthed from your place sat on the floor, the way steve was looking up at eddie, the hold your boyfriend had on his bestfriends chin making your cheeks match steves.“I dare you, Steve, to… you know, make sweet love to my girlfriend here.” He flashed a cocky smile, his eyes sparkling with mischief, the implication weighting his words.

You gasped, feeling your heart race. “Eddie, wait!” But deep down, there was a part of you that was curious, that wanted to explore this dynamic.

“C’mon, sweetheart,” Eddie said smoothly, as he walked over to you holding a hand out for you stand up, instantly taking it, a concerned look in your eyes as you glance over to steve before feeling eddie push your face to look at him instead. leaning in and placing a soft kiss against your temple. "it'll be fine."

The air thickened with intensity as you looked into Steve’s eyes—his nervousness apparent but laced with a hint of excitement. You bit your lip, feeling the swirl of emotions ready to erupt.

"is this what you want?" you whisper eyes slowly falling back onto steve as he sits on the window bench still, his eyes stuck on the two of you.

you left eddies arms as you walked over to steve, eddie making his way to sit back down on the bed. the whole tone in the room and air thickening as you stepped over to steve and stood between his legs.

"if you dont-" you go to speak but feel steve slowly reach up and place his hands on your hips.

"i...erm...i want...to" steve stutters slightly, the way his fingers brush lightly against your hips is a good contrast compared to the way eddie normally grabs you and tugs you against him, leaving bruises in his shadows.

“Okay,” you murmured, feeling a strange new warmth rush through you. “But… how?”

you and steve found yourselfs standing by the bed awaiting eddies comands, on one had you wasnt shy when it came to sex. you and eddies sex life was fairly acivate. you and steve just didnt want to cross a line. after all you were still eddies girl.

Eddie took charge, motioning for you both to lie back on the bed. “First, just relax, Steve. It’s all about the connection, alright? You’ve got to feel the moment.”

Steve nodded, visibly trying to suppress his anxiety as he settled himself on the bed, his back leaning against the headbpard, leans parted slightly. eyes just starig over at eddie. The chemistry crackled—Eddie’s dominant nature mingling effortlessly with your sweetness, and Steve’s shyness turning into a compelling curiosity.

You shivered slightly as Eddie placed his hands on your waist,lifting you up, and placing you on steves lap, instantly your legs widening to strddle his waist, knees digging into the sheets on either side of his hips.

“No pressure, okay? Just be yourself, Steve. You’re a sweet boy, and I know you can do this.” Eddie’s praise wrapped around Steve like a warm embrace, igniting a spark of confidence in him.

you glanced over at eddie as he went to sit on the bench by the window tugging the joint from behind his ear, he smirks feeling the way both me and steve were looking at him for direction.

"well dont look at me" eddie chuckles before gesturing towards us again, in an almost shooing motion.

the blush on yours and steves cheeks were incredibley apparent as you both turned to look back at each other. steves hands lifting to rest on your hips again.

"kiss her then"eddie chuckles once again, he couldnt believe how adorable king steve really was. it was shocking, to watch the way steve fumbled at first his hand slowly raising to rest on your cheek before you both brought your lips together.

steve slowly kisses you, you could feel how unsure he was, how he didnt really know what he was doing. moving his mouth with yours slowly, you placed your arms around the back of his neck just leaning into him as your kiss deepened. eddie smirked in the background lighting his joint.

the smacking noise of your lips together was ringing threw the room, as a sudden confidence in steve made him lower his other hand to your behind, and slowly rolling your hips into his

eddie watched a smile on his face as he smokes his joint, his eyes training onto the way steve had his tongue in your mouth, the way he grinds your hips into his, a sudden quiet whimper slipping from your lips.

"alright alright"eddie's words made you and steve quickly pull away, staring at each other, it was apparent by the way you both pant and stare darkly into each others faces. you both wanted each other.

With coaxing laughter and gentle touches, a newfound intimacy blossomed. Eddie guided Steve’s hands to your body, whispering encouragement, reminding him of the thrilling dance of exploration. Every tentative caress sent shivers along your spine, your head quickly becoming floaty with anticipation.

“Eddie… I—” Steve’s voice wavered, confusion and wonder mingling together as he gazed at you, before slowly looking over to the munson boy smoking.

eddie runs his tongue across his top teeth before balencing his joint on the window and walking over to the bed.

“It's okay, just follow my lead,” Eddie said, a commanding tone lacing his voice, but filled with care.he grabbed a hold of the back of your neck, pulling your hazing eyes away from steve to stare up at him. he rgins looking down at how flustured you were,He captured your lips in a heated kiss, igniting the fire within you, and you felt your heart thrumming in sync with the moment.

As Eddie’s lips found yours, you felt Steve’s hesitant hands grow bolder, exploring your curves. You whined softly against Eddie’s mouth, the pleasure brewing inside you feeling the way that steve ground your body against his again, the thrill of being the center of their attention making your heart race.

you could feel how wet you were, how hard steve was under you.a whimper coming from your lips made eddie pull away, his hand still holding the back of your head.

"you want to show stevie how much of a good girl you can be?"eddie's tone was full of domiance, but so much care. you knew he was just double checking again that you wanted this.

you nod, a small smile on your face as eddie lets go of your neck making you quick to look at steve.

"take em off pretty boy"eddie also turns his attention to steve, the boy quickly looking at him with a glazed expression. eddie lifting you off the harringtons lap to help you remove your joggers and t-shirt, leaving you in just your bra and panties.

steve did just that taking off his jeans with shaky hands, leaving him still in his boxers, eddies eyes roaming over the large buldge in the boys underwear. the small trail of hair that leads out from benith the fabric running up to his chest.

without saying anything else eddie lifts your body back onto steves, a gasp coming out of the both of you feeling the way your cores brush against each other as you straddle him and sit on his lap again.

"kiss her"eddie's gruff voice spits out, he couldnt deny the way that this was making him feel. watching the way that steve brings your lips to his again hungrily.more confident in his moves this time.

eddie had to strip himself of his own t-shirt and jeans before sitting down on the edge of the bed his hands slowly reaching over to placy with the hair at the back of steves neck. steve shivers his hips that were once slowly starting to rut again yours, shaking slightly at the feeling of both of you touching him.

"relax" eddies calm voice speaks out to him, guiding him slightly, his hand moving from steves hair to the hand that he had on your waist. fingers interlocking before eddie showed him exactly how to grind your hips against his in the best way, the best way to make the both of you feel good.

the moment he did a groan left steves lips, a whimper leaving yours.

"thats it,harrington..doesnt she sound pretty"eddie smirks, he was smug with the way that you and steve's lips pulled a way from each other, lips red and swollen, eyes heavy and filled with lust.

eddie reached up again this time, his hand locking in your hair tugging your head back slightly, a gasp leaving your mouth as your neck was revealed to steve.

"this little spot right here"eddie his breath was hot against the side of your neck as he brought himself closer to the two of you, now kneeling on the bed. he leans down sucking a harsh mark into your soft skin just behind your ear making you fill the room with a whimper, holding back the moan that was threatening to fall."thats the spot, have a go"eddie says a proud grin on his lips, seeing the way steve was watching so closely.

with eddies hand still in your hair, your neck still revealed steve tiltings his head towards you before going to the same spot, his breath hot like eddies but more shakey as he pressed his hot lips against your skin and started to suck.

the way your hips shook was like nothing you'd felt before. yes whilst eddie was amazing and felt rough and raw. steves lips felt soft againt your skin the way he was sucking your skin into his mouth felt needy, making you release that moan that was building up.

steve contiuned to leave kisses across your neck, leaving slightly lighter bite marks than eddie normally does but it still felt amazing.

you gasped when you felt eddies ringed finger brushing against the side of your panties.

"just gonna get you ready for him doll"eddies soft voice speaks as he nudges your underwear to the side, his fingers quick to slip onto your clit, the way he rubbed slow circles against it at first, and the feeling of steves wet sloppy kisses to your neck had your whining out. hands tugging at the hairs at the back of steves neck.

the whine made steve pull away and his eyes darted down to see what eddie was doing, eyes mesmerised by the way he was able to pull whimpering whines from your lips.

"i...i..." you try to speak, eyes going to eddie, finding him staring back at you. a smug expression on his face as he brushes your hair behind your ear.

"shhhh" his hand comes to brush over your head, tugging your face towards his as he brings your lips against his again, steve watching the way you submit into eddies hold straight away.

whilst eddies tongue easily pushed it's way into your mouth his fingers stopped there circles and moved to push at the enterance to your hole.

"p-please" you whimper against eddies lips, forgetting steve was even there for a moment.

"eyes on stevie baby"eddie whispers to you, making him whimper, the munson boy turning your head to look at steve.

meeting the harrington boys eyes, he smiles warmly at you, both of you hot and flushed,you both looked like a pair of horny teenagers.

when eddie pushed a finger into you, your mouth feel open, eyes quickly closing and body leaning into steves.

quick gasps leaving your lips as eddie moved his fingers inside of you.

eddie knew it wouldnt take long to stretch you open enough to take steve. he glanced over to the two of you noticing the way steve was holding your body against his lips back onto your neck.

it seemed like he liked leaving those small brusies into your skin. the thought made eddie pick up his pace, your body was shaking on steves lap. his own grunts were starting to leave his lips, as you rutted against him.

eddie slowly pulled his fingers out of you, your eyes shooting up to glare at him quickly.

"but-" you go to speak but you noticed the way he was shaking his head,

"you wanna cum on his cock or not you slut?"his words were mean but had you smiling. stevees eyes widening at the name he gave you.

whilst you climbed off steves lap to remove your underwear, eddie sat down next to steve.

"take these off for me"eddie speaks tapping steves hip, the boy nodding his hesd quickly like an obedient dog. his hips lifting to shift his boxers down quickly before throwing them off the side of the bed.

eddies eyes roamed over steves cock, as did yours. your eyes widening.. he was big. bigger than eddie. made not as thick as him but definetly longer.

you bit your lip watching the way eddie glances up at steve face before slowly reaching out placing his hand around the base of the body cock.

the gasp that left steves throat, oh my you wanted to hear that again and again. with a small grin you climbed back onto the bed too. watching the way eddie slowly brings his mouth down onto the tip of steve's cock. the way steve threw his head back instantly, had yourubbing your thighs together as you knelt on the bed.

you knew eddie wasnt exactly straight, you knew that he had a fantacy of wanting to share you with someone else. you just never believed how hot it would make you feel. watching your boyfriend open his mouth futher and take his bestfriends cock deeper into his mouth had you whimpering.

watching the spit that drooled out of eddies mouth and into the small amount of steve pubic hair.

steve was gasping, groaning, any sort of noise that could leave his lips was, before eddie pulled off him, a smirk on his face as he brings his thumb to the side of his mouth wiping away a mixture of precum and spit.

"come ere pretty" eddie speaks holding a hand out for you making you smile at him before taking his hand and shuffling back over to kneel, knees either side of steves hips.

steve looks up, still breathing heavily, his eyes scanning your naked frame, eyes roaming over your chest before landing on your pussy.

staring at the way eddie brings his hand to his mouth mouth you watch as he spits into his palm before slowly rubbing his fingers between your folds.

a whimper leaving your lips as you lift your hips upwards, eddies other hand coming to land on steves cokc, holding the base of it.

"go slow baby"eddie talks to you as you nod, your eyes going to steves as you look at him once again, checking he was okay with this. seeing nothing but list and pleasure and want, you slowly lower yourself down.

feeling his head brushing against your folds you gasp, steve quickly reaching out to grab your hips.

"ah ah slow"eddie tuts, his other hand that wasnt holding steves shaft coming to pick steves fingers off your hips.

steve grunts slightly as you slowly lower your self down onto him, taking him deeper and deeper the two of you breathing heavily, steves eyes watching the whole time as you sink onto him. your eyes closing, squeezing shut,

at first it was painful, you'd not even taken anyone or anything this big before, but when you finally felt the way steve was bottomed out. the feelin of all of your weight now resting on his own. the way he was burried as deep as he could be inside of you

slowly, eddies hands gripped your hips and pulled you up, his own cock was pushed painfully against his own boxers left and forgotten about. tonight was about steve.

"fuck..."steve groans out, feeling the way your inside's clenched around him as eddie lifted you off his cock slightly before lowering you back down again.

"just like that huh?"eddie taunts, a smirk on his lisp as he watches steves face closely, he couldnt deny the way his own cock was leaking seeing the please steve was experiancing. the way his breaths were short, a layer of sweat starting to wet the tips of his hair that brush against his forehead."your turn"eddie speaks, his words gentle as he takes steves hands in his and places them on your hips slowly guidng steve on how to rock your hips into him and lift you up enough that you could sink back down.

your body felt like it was on fire, everything was so hot, the way steves fingers lightly held your hips, the way his cock was slowly moving in and out of you. it was a stark contrast to the way that you and eddie normally fucked.

not rough and needy, not raw and harsh. no steve was slowly guidng himself in and out of you at a steady rythm, his eyes stcuk on your enterance taking him.

your own whimpers left your lips as you held yourself up right,eyes watching his face like eddies did. you felt eddie movng behind you and expected him to place his hands on you again but he didnt.

instead he climbed off the bed and went back to the window, you tossing your head over your shoulder confused, a throaty whine leaving your moan.

"eddi-" you try to whimper, steve moving slowly still inside you.

"pay attention to steve dollface" eddie gestures to the other boy making you whimper but turn to face steve, your hand now landing to rest on his chest.

eddie sits down on the bench by the window, his fingers reaching out to pull his own cock out of his boxers, his hand quickly grabbing the base of it and tugging at it. the angle he had was incredible. he wacthed the way steves balls bounced against your skin each time that he thrusted inside of you. the way your head was throan back slightly, the sunlight that was shining into the room showing the sweat that was rolling down your back.

“Good boy, just like that, Steve,” Eddie encouraged, his voice sultry and deep. “You’re doing so great.”

eddies voice made steve whimper himself, your eyes opening to stare at his face as he makes that noise. you'd never heard eddie make such a vunerable noise before. it made you grind your hips down deeper onto him, wanting him to make the noise again.

"fuck, feels so good" steves voice was short and almost whiny as he speaks, your own whimpers matching his as he starts to quicken his pace.

Steve’s initial shyness peeled away layer by layer in the wake of Eddie’s guidance. With every gentle kiss and soft sigh, the connection between the three of you only intensified. when eddie praised Steve, the dominant energy mixing with soft encouragement, made steve beam with newfound confidence that was intoxicating to witness.

You found yourself floating in a haze of pleasure, both from Eddie’s steely gaze and Steve’s delicate exploration. It was a whirlwind of sensations—the way their energies merged together, molding a dance that was both thrilling and intimate.

in the background you could hear the way eddie was fisting his own cock, the scene making himself grunt into his own hand.

when steves hips started to stutter, you knew he was close and you knew you was to. seeing the way a frown etched into his forehead as he focused on thrusting up into you, your head is throne back as you gasp turning to look over at eddie.

"close princess?"eddies voice comes out gruff and deep as you stare at him rubbing his hand up and down his own shaft at the same speed steve was pushing himself into you.

"yeah" steves reply made both you and eddie look at him, eddie smirking seeing the completely fucked out expression on the harrington boys face, his hips still moving, hands digging more into your hips.

"let go stevie, fill her up for me"eddies voice was strong and domianting as he watches steves eyes screw shut quickly, his hips shooting up to thrust a particullar deep thrust into you, shoving himself so deep inside you it had you coming undone at the same time.

your own eyes screwing shut, lip bitten between your teeth as you feel him stuttering inside you, your walls clenching around him quickly. steve doesnt bother to pull out of you, or even move as you both ride your highs. the feeling you was both feeling was intense, amazing euphoria.

you laid on his chest his cock still inside you, both of you sweaty and out of breath, one of his hands lifting to wrap around your waist.

5 minutes passed and neither of you had moved but you was both breathing more slowly, when you felt eddies rough palm brush against your back you jumped at first, before he started to rub it up and down.

"just me baby, come ere" he speaks slowly, his tone more gentle now compared to the rough and domiant one he once used.

he lifts you up slowly, when steves dick slides out of you the pair of you groan slightly before eddie lays you on the bed next to steve. a wet rag he must have grabbed from the bathroom made its way between your legs cleaning you up before he helped you slide a t-shirt over your head.

"lay back down" eddie speaks slowly pushing you to lay down, before he walks over to steves side of the bed.

the harrington boy was blushing still, now sitting up more with his back against the headboard.

"got you a fresh pair"eddie speaks holding out a pair of clean boxers for steve making him smile appreciatively at him before shifting to slide them on.

"did you-" you quickly speak looking over at eddie, your eyes roaming down his body noticing the way he was wearing his boxers once again, the tent he once had, no longer there.

"yeah sweetheart, dont worry about me"eddie chuckles warmly, before he pushed steve to lay back down, you quick to cuddle into steves side which made eddie smile.

steve felt a bit awkward at first, when eddie walked back over to the window, and sat smoking his joint. laid in bed with his girlfriend after just fucking her. your head rested on steves chest, the blanket that eddie had pulled over the two of you resting just above your hips.

but steve smiles slightly, as eddie comes walking over to the bed and climbed in next to him, himself wrapping his arm around the boy making steve sigh happily leaning into his touch.

"so harrington? how was that?"eddie asks, one hand reaching up to brush his fingers threw steves hair, his legs intertwining with yours under the blanket.

"that was.....amazing"steve didnt have the words, he was glad that he got to lose his virginity in such a happy and safe enviroment. glad that he had someone to show he how to do it. he couldt deny the way that after all of that he felt.

but he tensed slightly now thinking of what was going to happen next. even if eddie and you wanted to do this again, steve wasnt sure he could. he wasnt just going to be the person you two come to when you want to spice up your sex life.

"i should erm, go i think robin wanted to hang out" steve mutters trying to sit up making you frown sitting up too, eddie quickly pushing him back down, hand on his shoulder,

" whatever your head is telling you right now, it aint true"eddie grunts, shaking his head, his eyes sticking into steves as steve sighs.

"do...do you want to go?"your voice speaks up, it was quiet and unsure as you saw steves nervous face.

"i erm...i dont wanna intrude"steve mutters, still staying put however. not moving after eddie told him to stay

"sweetheart after what we just did, you aint going anywhere"eddie chuckles laying back down tugging steve and you closer to himself.a relief filled sigh leaving steves mouth as he hum happily one hand around your waist, his head resting on eddies chest"but can we talk about the whole princess thing" eddie chuckles looking down at steve with a knowing look, the boy just blushing back at him.

you watched the two of them with a warm smile, knowing things were going to be much different from this day on, and you honestly prefered it. after today you found yourself looking at steve in a way that you never did before.

you couldnt imagine doing anything without him, or eddie.You felt complete, the puzzle pieces of your relationships fitting together in a way you had never anticipated. You had opened a door to new experiences, ensuring laughter, warmth, and a whole new understanding would linger well beyond the melding of your bodies.

[victoryverse]

CAN WE PLEASE GET A FILTHY, AND I DONT MEAN “filthy” I MEAN FILTHY-VALENTINES DAY SPECIAL WITH SIMON ?? also happy valentines 💗😍

warnings: nsfw!!! smut, fingering, p in v sex, squirting, pussy spanking, ass spanking, choking, creampie

words: 2.5k(!!!)

. . .

Dating Simon wasn’t always easy. Between the constant travelling and the time differences, it was hard to keep a stable relationship. But you both knew it was worth it. You both knew that no matter how long you went without seeing each other, the next time you did, it would be like nothing could ever keep you apart.

But, of course, you and Simon had your moments. You had your moments where you would argue over the littlest thing, and then have to try and make up over FaceTime or text. It would usually end with one of you making a joke and the other one laughing and then it being all fine again.

But then, there were the times when you were both just too busy, that you couldn’t even speak to each other. That’s when it was hard. You would miss Simon constantly and you would just find yourself watching his videos or looking through old pictures of you both.

But this time was different. This time, you weren’t missing him. This time, he was coming home to you. You had decided to surprise him with a trip back to London to see you. You had been planning this for weeks, and you were so excited to finally see him again.

You stood nervously in front of the arrivals door at Heathrow airport, your hands shaking slightly. You couldn’t believe you were about to see Simon. You couldn’t believe you were about to be reunited with him.

As the doors opened, you looked around, your heart pounding in your chest. You were so anxious to see him, to wrap your arms around him and kiss him.

You noticed a tall, dark haired boy walking towards you, a huge smile on his face. He looked even more beautiful than you remembered.

“Simon!” you yelled, running towards him. As soon as he saw you, he started running too, engulfing you in his arms when he reached you.

“Oh my God, I’ve missed you so much,” he said, burying his face in your neck. You felt his breath on your skin and you couldn’t help but shiver. You had missed him so much. So, so much.

“I’ve missed you too,” you said, pulling away slightly to look at him.

He smiled at you, his hand reaching up to cup your face. He leaned down, pressing his lips to yours. You could feel the heat of his lips, the softness of them. You loved the way his lips felt on yours, the way they moulded together perfectly.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” he said, pulling away from you.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t see my boyfriend for three months?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“I don’t know, I mean, you’re a pretty busy person,” he said, shrugging.

You rolled your eyes at him, taking his hand. “Let’s get you home,” you said, smiling up at him.

Simon wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him. You leaned your head against his shoulder, taking in his familiar scent. You had missed him so much.

As you both got into the taxi, Simon couldn’t keep his hands off you. He kept playing with your fingers and holding your hand, his thumb tracing circles on your skin.

“I’ve missed this,” he said, smiling over at you.

“Missed what?” you asked, smirking at him.

“Missed you. I’ve missed this,” he said, squeezing your hand.

You smiled over at him, trying to hide the blush on your cheeks. You couldn’t believe how much you had missed him, how much you had missed his touch. Just him being here was making you happier than you had been in months.

As you got home, Simon couldn’t help but feel a little nervous. It had been so long since he had seen you, and he didn’t want things to be weird between you both.

But as soon as you got inside, everything was back to normal. You were back to being you and Simon, you were back to being happy, and it was like you had never been apart.

You spent the rest of the day just lying in bed, your head resting on Simon’s chest. You could feel his heart beating, and it was making you sleepy.

“I’ve got something for you,” you said, sitting up and looking at Simon.

“What?” he asked, smiling at you.

You smiled back at him, reaching over to your bedside table, picking up a small box. You handed it to Simon, watching him carefully as he opened it.

Inside was a small bracelet with a charm on it. The charm was a little plane with a heart on it.

“I know it’s not much, but I wanted to get you something to remember me by when you’re away,” you said, looking at him nervously.

“I love it,” he said, smiling at you. “I love you.”

You smiled back at him, your heart swelling with happiness. You couldn’t believe how lucky you were to have a boyfriend like Simon.

As the night went on, you both decided to have an early night. After all, you had been travelling all day.

As you were getting ready for bed, you noticed Simon watching you from the bed. He was sitting up against the headboard, a small smirk on his face.

“What?” you asked, smiling at him.

“Nothing,” he said, pulling back the covers.

You raised an eyebrow at him, walking over to him. You climbed into bed next to him, snuggling up to him.

As soon as your head hit the pillow, Simon’s lips were on yours. His hand was tangled in your hair, pulling you closer to him. You could feel his tongue on your bottom lip, asking for entrance. You opened your mouth slightly, allowing his tongue to explore your mouth.

His hand trailed down your body, stopping at your waist, his fingers gently playing with the hem of your shirt.

“Off,” he mumbled against your lips, tugging at the material.

You pulled away from him, sitting up and taking off your shirt. Simon’s eyes never left your body, his eyes raking over you.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” he said, pulling you back down to him.

You blushed slightly, your hands running over his chest, your fingers playing with the hem of his shirt.

“Off,” you said, mimicking Simon’s words from earlier.

Simon chuckled, taking off his shirt. He pulled you back to him, his lips finding yours again. You could feel his hands on your back, trying to undo your bra.

“Can you help me?” he asked, breaking the kiss.

You nodded, sitting up and unhooking your bra, pulling it off, and throwing it to the side. You lay back down next to Simon, his lips finding your neck.

You couldn’t help but let out a small moan as he sucked on your skin. You had missed this so much, you had missed Simon so much.

"God, you're so damn hot, baby" he mumbled, and you let out a hum, letting him cup your breasts, and you threw your head back, moaning as he took one nipple into his mouth, sucking the sensitive bud into his hot mouth.

"Fuck, feels so good" You tangled your hands in his hair, pulling at the short length as he licked and sucked on both of them, biting them to see you get more and more desperate.

It had really been so fucking long. You had been busy for the last few weeks too, so you hadn't really gotten time to take care of yourself. Now, here he was, along with the promise of multiple orgasms.

"Gonna make y'cum so fucking hard, baby. Make it hard for you to walk" he promised, his brown eyes, full of lust, looking into yours.

"Fuck me so hard, I can't even crawl" you smirked, watching his eyes darken, as he grabbed your butt, grabbing the flesh, before spanking you. Hard.

You gasped, the slight burn spreading throughout the skin, making you clench your thighs. He pushed them open immediately, pushing one hand into your panties.

"Shit, you're so fucking wet already," he said, his fingers sliding easily into your dripping folds. You moaned, your head falling back as he began to pump his fingers in and out of you.

"You like that, baby? You like it when I make you all wet and ready for my cock?" he whispered, his breath hot against your ear.

You nodded, unable to form words as he continued to finger you, his thumb rubbing your clit in slow, teasing circles.

It felt so good, his warm, long, and thick fingers fucking you so good. You could feel them hitting your gspot, which made your toes curl against the mattress, mind going blank.

You whimpered, your hips grinding against his hand, desperate for more. Simon chuckled, pulling his fingers out of you and bringing them to his lips, sucking them clean.

"Fuck, you taste so good," he groaned, before shoving you down onto the bed, your legs spread wide. He climbed on top of you, watching you in awe as you lay beneath him, spread wide open, all vulnerable and wanting.

For him. Only him

He brought one hand back between your legs, swiping his fingers across your pussy, collecting the arousal that had coated the area. There was so much slick-your thighs were completely drenched from how wet you had gotten from just fingering. He brought his hand back to his cock, spreading your cream on his cock, lathering it with you, before smirking down at you.

You were growing desperate, the way he was teasing his already, red, throbbing cock, almost too much.

"Si!" you whimpered, watching as he showed no change in his pace.

"Si, please!" you begged, and he leaned in. You thought he would kiss you, but his hand came to wrap around your throat, slightly applying pressure as you closed your eyes.

"Shut up. You don't get to say anything. I'll do whatever I want to do to you, however I want to. And you're going to take it like the filthy whore you are for me. Understand?" he growled, his thick voice making you shiver.

"Yes-yes, understand" you replied, and his touch was gone. You opened your eyes, and it was a mere second before a harsh spank landed on your pussy.

You closed your legs around him instinctively, and he pushed them back open, spanking your pussy harder.

"What did I just say? Or are you too dumb to understand?"

You shook your head in no, spreading them back open. He hummed, before positioning himself between your thighs and plunging his thick cock deep inside you. You cried out, your nails digging into his back as he began to thrust into you with a fierce rhythm.

"God, you're so tight," he grunted, his hands gripping your hips as he pounded into you.

"My little dumb puppy" he whispered in your ear, his grip back on your throat. He fucked you relentlessly, your mouth dropping open as the tip of his cock hit the back of your cervix, the stretch because of his girth making you cry.

"Fuck-you're so fuckin-fucking big!" you cursed, and he reached back, spanking your ass once again.

"You've gotten used to it, though, haven't you? Having me inside this pretty, pretty cunt of yours? Hm? Swallowing me as if it's the last time you're having me? Clenching around me like the desperate puppy you are?"

His words rang in your ears, the way he described everything was so obscene.

"You like it, don't you? Like getting fucked by my big. thick cock"

You nodded again, and his hand trailed down from your throat to your breasts, groping them and using them as leverage as he fucked you into oblivion.

When you didn't answer, he slapped your cunt again, your wetness gushing out suddenly, wetting his cock and stomach.

"Fuck! Dirty, filthy girl: he cursed, hitting your cunt again and again, watching with amusement as you fell apart beneath him.

Your entire body shook as you came, your walls clenching around him as he continued to thrust, prolonging your orgasm. Your mind went back, completely fucked dumb.

"Shit, that's it. Let it all out," Simon encouraged, his own climax hitting him hard as he emptied himself inside you. His thick, milky cum filled you up, the warmth that you wanted for so long, finally inside you.

“God, I’ve missed you,” Simon said, collapsing on top of you.

“I’ve missed you too,” you said, smiling up at him.

“I love you,” he said, pressing his lips to yours.

“I love you too,” you said, closing your eyes.

And as you fell asleep in Simon’s arms, you knew nothing could ever keep you apart. And maybe, if you woke up after some time, it might not be too late for round two.

. . .

i’m sorry if this isn’t what you wanted, i’m sorry if it’s really bad, but i hope you enjoyed it <3

@ilovehobi101

[anadiasmount]

hey love! could you write a blurb about jude being mad at you and not talking to you and you make it up to him and he knows he cant stay mad so he forgives you and you cry and hes all like "dont cry bby" something super fluffy

hi hi hi!! here you go lovely! 🤍 i think i would cry the minute he starts ignoring me… 😟💔

| masterlist | jude's masterlist

you rolled your eyes and walked away from jude who scrolled through his phone quietly and undisturbed. he had been ignoring you since last night when you had accidentally forgotten to remind him you had plans. they were made super quick so he was left dumb founded when you were out and instead at home with him.

you texted him prior before you left and you guess he had not read that. jude was being cold, ignoring your hugs or attempts of kisses. last night when you got home all he could do was turn and face the door and didn't even utter a good night. you tried to make his favorite cookies but he looked at them and went to training. he hadn't said a word since the day before.

jude was chatty, sometimes you would lose focus on what he was saying because he went from one story to another in a span of seconds. it began to irritate you when he wasn't speaking, not answering texts, calls, and even questions you asked. he simply felt like a stranger.

you got up early to make him breakfast, even a small snack so he could have it after training. filled his training bag with clean clothes and his extra pair of boots, and his water bottle. he didn't even thank you, walking away and into the taxi to the training center.

it bothered you the entire day how distant and immature he was being. jude was the type to check in, so glancing at your phone every minute that passed also didn't help. he should be able to talk it out instead of acting like a jerk. you cursed at him silently in your head, pinching the bridge of your nose before returning back to your tasks.

on the way back home, you picked up his favorite meal from the grocery store, getting all his favorite snacks and drinks he would eat around the house. you got a deck of cards and a new board game to try out. you wanted to make it up to him, any way possible.

jude continued to ignore you throughout the evening, making you start feel uneasy and guilty for a small mistake you committed. part of you also still felt angry because he would even bother to answer anything or the fact he was in his own world making you feel like an outcast. your eyes burned with tears as you heard him walk upstairs, choking back a sob as all you wanted was to be held by him.

jude upstairs was also beginning to feel he dragged it out to much. a feeling in his chest when he remembered how defeated you looked as he came up to your bedroom. he wanted you to feel like he felt yesterday, but he could see it wasn’t the same for you. jude had to resist the urge to tell you about his day, the thank you’s for making him food and cookies, for going above and beyond all day so he could lay attention to you.

a plastic wrapping caught jude’s eyesight after an hour passed. you still hadn’t come up and he was afraid you wouldn’t because of how he acted. he was overreacting he knew it, but also he felt disappointed and upset at the fact you clearly forgot to tell him about your plans till last minute.

“what the?” jude asked himself as he approached the wrapping. he uncovered it being faced with a cartoon drawing similar to those they did at fair of the two of you. next to it was a small minion holding a small box of box of hershey kisses and a hand written note by you.

ilysm my little minion (jude) 🖤

- y/n 💋

he laughed feeling the guilt in his chest as he stared at the three pieces you got him yesterday while you were out. you always thought of him, like jude always thought about you. he grabbed the three items and headed downstairs where he saw you watching a movie, covered with a knitted blanket and laying on your side.

you yawned slowly drifting in and out of sleep, your body feeling as it sinked into the couch and would never come back up. you listened to jude as he paced around, your heart racing when he began approaching you. you continued to stare out into the tv, tears brimming your eyes again as you felt the need to apologize.

jude sat by your legs, looking directly at you not being able to hold it in any longer, “y/n? don’t cry baby…” jude said gently grabbing your arm and helping you pull yourself up into his arms. you let out struggles of scattered breaths and sobs, holding him tightly against your front and on his lap.

jude ran his hand on your back, soothing your choked sobs and whines. “i’m sorry y/n, i was being immature and a jerk when you didn’t deserve it. you made a mistake and i had no right to push and ignore you like i did,” jude apologized first pulling you back so he could wipe away the tears.

“part of me was hurt because i wanted to spend time you and you weren’t here. and you had advised me last minute you were going out. you always tell me a day, a week even a month in advance when you go out, i don’t know why i thought negative thoughts…” jude continued, kiss your hand and rubbing your cheek in comfort.

he watched you finally relax into his embrace, eyes closed and wet due to the tears, lips slightly plump and swollen from crying. “i saw your gift,” jude says happily, watching your glossy eyes lift up as you gave him a small smile. “where should we hang it up?”

“anywhere you want,” you say shrugging still trying to wrap your head if he actually stopped ignoring you. “y/n? you know i love you so much too right? i didn’t ever mean to make you cry, princess…” jude frowned pulling you down to him once again.

“but you did jude. i was so scared and nervous you wouldn’t talk to me because of that! you didn’t say goodbye nor a thanks, i called and you wouldn’t answer, texts straight to read! i was worried sick you wouldnt check in at all!”

jude heard you muffled out, feeling you hold him like you wanted and craved last night. jude peppered kisses onto your collarbone, “forgive me baby. i won’t ever do that again,” jude say between kisses. “ever ever ever again jude… we talk it out that’s how’s things work, okay jude?”

“and i’m sorry too. my head went to a different mind place and idk why i told you last minute when i had know the day before. i’ve been busy with the upcoming charity project it went through my head,” you apologized as well, holding his face between your hands as you placed small kisses on his cheeks, nose and temple. anywhere you had access to, feeling him smile and tug you closer to him.

“and i love you.”

“i know baby, i know. i also saw it on the note next to the minion holding the chocolates,” jude laughed making you giggle loud. “he kinda looked like you,” you joked hearing a small gasp come from jude’s mouth. “take it back!” jude says putting your against the couch and tickling your sides and neck. “never!”

“okay okay i take it back,” you say out of breath after laugh uncontrollably. jude and you never fought or argued, so holding him like this after not being able to felt like a reward. your leaned up and kissed him, sighed in delight as you felt the familiar plump lips with yours. “do i actually look like a minion,” jude said nervously, scratching the back of his head.

“yes yes you do…”

[2jinbi]

hi everyone :3 this is my first time ever writing anything. i’ve never written anything before but i have really bad jjk brainrot right now so i created this account to dump this stuff on. please ignore any spelling mistakes! english is not my strongest suite. im good at it but yk, im not an experienced writer. please feel free to give me criticism. i also dont know if this is formatted right because, well, refer to what i said before lol.

warnings: aged up chars, fluff, slightly ooc, uncle yuuji n auntie nobara 🥹, baby’s name is fumiko (fumi for short), just something fun and short and silly

“no, you can’t eat that!” nobara takes the rubix cube from the infant’s hand. she throws the rubix cube somewhere else as she goes back to filing her nails. she’s left wide-eyed, and you can already tell by the look alone she’s about to start crying. you never understood. yes, she was a baby, but even so, questions are questions. you stop what you’re doing and kneel down next to fumi.

“shh, come here,” your voice is a barely above a whisper. she bursts into tears and starts crying loudly as you place her on your hip and bounce her gently.

“somebody shut that damn baby up, please. focus is key.” yuuji says without sparing a glance at you. he’s too focused on his chess game—you can tell by his body language and posture. yuuji had picked up the hobby literally out of nowhere. you went over to his apartment one day and saw a huge chess board spread across his coffee table. “i learned chess three days ago. todo taught me. he beat my ass really bad. i learned to win against him, and just out of spite,” he chuckles.

“watch it. that’s my kid,” megumi warns. yuuji eyerolls to that—he knew he could never say anything bad about fumi in his presence. it’s not like he did, anyway. he loved fumi like his own; she was everything to him. he wanted to crack a joke but forgot megumi doesn’t joke about his kid. he heaves a sigh and blinks. “well, your kid is distracting me. i can’t focus with the crying.”

“shut up, yuuji. she’s just a baby!” nobara quickwits. fumi had settled down now, but only because she got tired of crying. you know she’d begin again anytime. “she’s right. babies will do baby things. plus, fumi’s teething now, and she’s in constant pain, so she’s bound to throw fits.” megumi defends. it brings a smile to your face.

“you’re not a very good uncle, ‘y’know,” you said amused. you opened your mouth to speak, but nobara got to it first. “beefing with a baby is crazy to me,” nobara raises her brows and whistles. “no way you guys are ganging up on me.”

fumi starts fussing again, and you can see her trying to escape your arms. she’s reaching her father. you frown slightly but walk over to megumi and hand her to him. he smiles warmly at her and kisses the top of her head. “hi baby,” he says softly. yuuji already accepted defeat. he knew megumi wouldn’t finish the game like this. “you’re so cute, baby. so cute,” he cradles his baby. you’re in awe at the sight. megumi never spoke like this to anyone—his voice was never this soft spoken unless it came to you or his daughter. you notice fumi’s eyes flutter, and she yawns. in a matter of minutes, she’s sleeping. megumi walks to your room and places her in the crib.

“she’s sleeping now. don’t worry,” he walks over to you and places a chaste kiss on your lips. “you’re so gorgeous. i love you so much.” you feel your cheeks heat up intensely. nobara audibly retches, and yuuji looks away, embarrassed. “ew. please get a room.” “agreed!”

megumi’s face twitches. “shut up!”

[whispersoftheton]

Hello!

Do you think you could write an anthony x reader angst turned fluff/smut fic?

They’ve married out of duty but both have feelings for each other they refuse to admit

Hi! This is also my first fic for this fandom and I got kind of carried away with it, hope you don't mind :) Thank you for requesting btw <3

dont worry the next request i post will have smut in it and im posting that one this weekend >:)

Anthony Bridgerton x F!Reader

Warnings: reader and Anthony are married, pining, death of parents (reader), angst, kissing, fluff at the end

Word Count: 2.4K

The day dawned crisp and clear, sunlight peering through the flowing curtains and illuminating your path along the long hallway of your lavish home. The sounds of maids bustling through the estate and the gravel crackling beneath the horse's hoofs from outside filled your ears. Your mind raced with the many tasks at hand for today as you straightened out your dress. The last ball of the season was a significant one indeed, and you had the honor of hosting it tonight. The last few days were filled with overseeing that every detail of the evening, no matter how small, was managed and executed perfectly. 

As the maids fetched accessories and floral arrangements for you to approve ahead of the festivities, you pondered how your life had drastically changed. A mere three months had passed since your wedding day. Still, it seemed a lifetime ago. You had every reason to be happy, you had married well, living more than comfortably, and your husband was not unkind towards you like others you've heard about. But your marriage to the viscount wasn't exactly the love story of the century, to say the least. 

After the passing of both your parents, Lady Danbury had taken you in as one of her own. Raised you to be a lady of society in every way she saw fit and even sponsored your coming out last season. The very same season, the Queen appointed you as her diamond. Not long after, none other than Anthony Bridgerton set his sights on you, surpassing any honorable suitor that even thought about appearing at your doorstep. The entire courtship, along with the proposal, felt purely transactional. Anthony berated you with questions, encounters feeling more like interviews than any courting you were used to. It was not as if you were not attracted to the man if you were being entirely honest with yourself; you'd spent the better half of your time bottling up whatever it is that blossoms in your chest when he is near. And you hated yourself for it. For feeling something you couldn't even name for a man who treated as nothing more than an object. Every public outing where he was caring towards you, even kind and every bit of charming you could ever hope for, raised your hopes high only to see them crashing down at the indifference towards you the moment you were alone without the peering eyes of the ton on you.

Your wedding and honeymoon came and went in a blur. Not even able to consummate the marriage properly due to an argument that left you both enraged and unable to look each other in the eye in the days that followed. The following months were a string of simple greetings in passing and only speaking to one another when absolutely necessary. The empty house you now lived in was becoming your own personal void without so much as the company of your supposed husband.

"Viscountess Bridgerton, are you alright?" Your maid questioned as you snapped out of your haze and directed your attention back to the bouquets before you.

"Yes, this one will be lovely for tonight, thank you." You made your final decision as Anthony strolled into the room. Your maids quickly making themselves sparse, leaving the two of you alone.

"My family should be arriving any second; I assume everything for tonight is in order, is it not?" The underlying sarcasm and questioning of your ability as the lady of the house crawled right under your skin, any lingering feelings you had been contemplating only a moment ago for the Viscount gone in an instant at his distasteful manner.

"Yes, Lord Bridgerton." You replied dryly.

"Dear, we are married and have been for some time now. I would very much like it if I did not have to tell you to address me by my first name while we are in our home." You audibly scoffed at his command while standing from your seat.

"And I would very much like it if my husband would not treat me as though I do not exist." You snapped. Anthony's jaw clenched as he tensed before you. "Seems like neither of us shall get what we want. Now if you'll excuse me, my lord, I have some preparations still pending for tonight. I am sure you can see your family to their rooms for now." 

"Now, you will not even greet my family. Do you have a distaste for them as well?"

"Never. I adore your mama and siblings as if they were my own." Anthony searched for any sign of deceit but instead found honest eyes staring back at him, making his heart ache. "If anything, I am grateful. Alas, there shall be a Bridgerton in this home I do not dislike." 

Your thoughts betrayed you abruptly exited the room and returned to your bed chambers to prepare for the evening, shutting the door and leaning against it in an attempt to steady yourself. Damn him. His scent blurred your thoughts and inhibited every one of your senses as you attempted to concentrate on the anger portrayed in his words. Instead, your mind wandered to how his white shirt hugged every curve of his chest, the plumpness of his lips, and the curve of his jaw. It was alluring in the most intoxicating way. You knew you had to compose yourself before the night began; the last thing you needed was to be distraught at your own ball.

------------------------

You stepped into the ballroom in your new dress gown the modiste had spent a significant amount of time making especially for this occasion. The staircase was beautifully adorned with white roses and touches of lilacs cascading down onto the main area. Candelabras and other flourishing arrangements were stationed around the refreshment tables your guests gathered at, and the thrumming rhythm of classical music whispered into your ears as you took notice of everyone enjoying themselves before greeting them. 

Unbeknownst to you, Anthony stood at the opposite end of the ballroom, observing how you conducted yourself gracefully amongst the guests—making light conversations while extending your kindness to everyone. He marveled at your ability to make each person feel as though they had your undivided attention; although he would never admit it, he found himself yearning for that same attention from you.

Early on, Anthony knew you fit all the requirements he had given himself for a wife. Someone honorable and suitable enough to hold the role of his Viscountess. It was precisely why he had chosen you, but that wasn't the only motive. You were the only lady's company outside his sisters; he did not particularly hate. Every potential partner he sought that season out had come up empty, whether it had been on the conversation or any other unfulfilling matter they discussed. You were different. You carried a conversation like no other, educated in far more areas than he could've hoped for, but none of that quite captured his heart in an unsuspecting manner like your character. You were kind and compassionate in a way he admired; you challenged him in ways that irritated him to no end, yet he found himself entirely enraptured by you. This is precisely why he had no choice other than shut you out completely. Anthony knew letting you get too close would be going against everything he wanted for himself. He couldn't let himself love another or have another love him; with love came loss. That he knew for certain.

"All seems good with the two of you, I see." Daphne smiled while moving to stand by Anthony as she spoke, breaking his train of thought.

"Good? I do not follow, dear sister." Anthony cleared his throat.

"Yes, good. With the way you were just openly admiring your wife, I assume it is only because the two of you have finally gotten over yourselves and admitted whatever it is you feel for one another." Anthony practically rolled his eyes at his younger sister, beginning to regret ever being forthcoming with her about the circumstances of his marriage early on. "Oh, do not tell me you are still playing this game? At this stage of marriage? Anthony-" She began scolding him, but he interrupted and led her to a more private area of the ballroom. 

"There is no game. We married because it was our duty to do so. Nothing more, nothing less. You will have to accept that, Daphne." Anthony's voice grew stern as he furrowed his brows at his sister.

"And I do. What I will not accept is the way your love for each other goes unspoken when it is clear to everyone around you." She spoke her following words in a hushed tone as to keep anyone who may be standing near from listening to them. "There is no doubt you hold love in your heart for her, brother. But if you do not tell her soon, I fear you will lose her and your only chance at happiness forever." With that, Daphne offered him a soft smile before walking towards Simon, who busied himself greeting Lady Danbury and her mama.

The night went on better than you could've hoped for. The dances and mingling were without a flaw, and even Lady Bridgerton and the Dutchess were quick to praise you on how well everything had turned out. Soon the guests started to filter out, making their way home after a long night of celebration. You strolled over to your husband after bidding goodbye to her majesty the Queen and ensuring everything had been to her liking. Anthony couldn't help but take notice of how stunning you looked tonight. How your dress fell perfectly over your figure, gems scattered throughout to match his mother's necklace laid in the most alluring way on the supple skin of your neck and chest. He was entranced in a way he'd never been before. Perhaps Daphne had been right. There's a sentence he never thought he'd utter, he thought to himself. Perhaps he had let his fears control him for far too long.

You had barely noticed your ring slipping from your fingers to fall at Anthony's feet as you approached him. Both of you leaned down to reach for it in unison, fingers ghosting over one another, making your breath catch and your eyes meet as he placed it upon your finger once again. The intimacy of such a small moment becoming too much to bear far too quickly.

"I must go." You could not bear to withstand one more moment under Anthony's intense glare, the part of you that wanted to finally divulge all the feelings you'd fought so hard to suppress after all this time threatening to break through at any given moment. You suddenly stepped back, picked up your dress the best you could, and walked hastily to avoid attracting unwanted attention from lingering guests. As you paced through the gardens, an overwhelming and uncertain feeling washed over you before you overheard Anthony's steps behind you.

"Why? Why is it that you distance yourself from me?" Anthony shouted in a hushed tone toward you. 

"Me? I am not the one stuffed in my office all day, coming to bed at late hours of the night when I am asleep and gone once I wake. Avoiding me day in and day out as if I am a plague to you." Tears welled in your eyes, making Anthony's breath hitch. He could not stand to see you like this. Every nerve in his body burned to fix whatever was troubling you, even if he was the one who caused it. Every feeling he had worked so hard to bury all this time, convincing himself he did not love you, could not love you, surfacing with every word that escaped your lips. "You treat me as though you do not care for me." Your voice was just low enough for him to hear, eyes cast downward, unable to give him so much as a glance through his silence. 

"Do not care for you? It is as if I am being consumed when I am with you. I cannot hold a breath or do the most ordinary task without you racing across my every thought. I feel as though I am losing my sanity because I cannot bear to be without you for one second. And when you are near me, it is positively intoxicating in ways I did not know to be possible." Anthony stepped cautiously toward you, fingers ghosting over your cheek, eyes dancing along your features with adoration filling them. "I love you. I love you as much as a person can love another. I do not wish to hold it inside anymore. I love you."

"I love you too." A sob wracked your chest as you responded without hesitation. The reflection in your eyes conveyed the devotion and tenderness he yearned for. It was as if you indeed saw the pieces of him but only sought to love him as he was, incomplete and perfect in every way in your eyes. As your husband.

Your heartbeat quickened as Anthony stepped close enough so that your noses practically brushed against one another—a familiar desire spreading from your heart to your chest.

Anthony cupped your face, his thumb tenderly stroking your cheek. Chills spread along your skin at the warmth of his touch. Unbridled affection flowed freely and filled the space between you. Your lips met for what felt like the first time; his other hand settled at your waist, prompting you closer to him and deepening the kiss. His lips moved against yours with a gentle urgency. It was as if nothing else mattered, the past becoming more of a distant memory the further you melted into him. There was only this moment. Anthony unwillingly pulled away, leaving your foreheads pressed against one another, his hair slightly disheveled from your fingers running through it, lips swollen and thoroughly kissed. A deep sigh escaped him before he spoke.

"I would marry you again if I could. Do it all over from the very beginning." His voice slightly wavered at the sentiment; it suddenly weighed on him how much he truly meant it. He wished nothing more than to turn back time and love you the way you deserve from the very beginning. Things would have been so different.

"Anthony, you do not need to embellish. We already married." A chuckle escaped you, a knowing smile gracing his lips. "What?"

"You called me Anthony." 

I do not consent to having my work reposted, translated, or published to any third party site or app. if anyone sees my work anywhere that is not ao3/tumblr or under any other username that is not whispersoftheton, it has been reposted without my permission

[ribread03]

Our Song II

M.stuniolo

What happens when Y/N cant afford to fly out to LA… Y/N and Matt text for the first time…

THIS IS MY WORK AND MY IDEA! PLEASE DONT USE THIS AS “INSPIRATION” OR TAKE IT WITHOUT GETTING MY PERMISSION FIRST! thank you :)

This is part two of our song! Find the mood board and part one through my master list!

Y/N POV

You and Nick have been texting back and forth for a few days at this point and your excitement for the collab has grown even more, if that is possible. You’ve been looking at hotels and plane tickets, trying to see how they would fit into your budget. You can't seem to find any plane tickets that are less than $250, so you decide to text Nick to see if they could collab next time they are back in Boston, that being a cheaper flight from Jersey.

“I can't find a cheap flight to fit into my budget, do you think we could collab next time the three of you are in Boston? It would be a cheaper flight for me to book…” You send Nick the text with a small sigh, not sure when the next time they will be home or if they will even want to collab with you when they are.

Your phone is quick to ping again, it was Nick texting you back, “girl don’t worry about anything! We’ll cover it for you, we wanted you to come out to LA so we don’t expect you to cover everything… We will book you a nice hotel near our house and get you a good plane ticket!” You read Nick's text with a large smile, they really didn’t have to do any of that, but it was nice that they are. Them paying to fly you out would help you out, leaving you with extra money to spend while in LA.

You're quick to shoot a text back to him, saying everything along the lines of “thank you so much” and “I really appreciate that” and “it means so much to me!” Because it really did, they didn’t know and probably wont ever know how much this means so you, you saying thank you will never be enough.

Matts POV

“She’s saying she can't afford a flight and hotel out here…” Nick says as he reads the text out loud, to Matt and Chris, that you sent him. Matt looks between his two brothers before an idea pops into his head.

”Tell her we will cover it,” Matt is quick to say. “Just take it out of my account, I was the one who wanted to collab with her in the first place.” He explains to his brothers before they can even say anything.

“Okay,” Nick says, slightly suspicious of his one brothers need to have you here. Nick was quick to catch onto Matt’s fond interest with you, seemingly always catching him looking at your new insta post or scrolling through your TikTok or watching an edit of you on there. Nick often hears your voice coming from Matt’s room, assuming Matt is watching one of your YouTube videos-one that he’s probably seen nine times already but still watches it because it is his favorite video of you.

After a beat of silence Matt speaks up again, “I just think it would be nice, since we are the ones who want to collab and have her come out here.” explaining his idea more, even though neither Nick nor Chris asked anything about why he was wanting to pay. “Could you do me a favor though, and not tell her I’m the only one paying for it?” Matt asks Nick with a shy smile.

Matt didn’t want you to know he was the sole reason they wanted to collab with you, being slightly embarrassed about how excited he is to meet you for the first time. He also didn’t want you to know he was paying for your whole trip, not wanting you to feel bad for only him spending so much money on you.

“Do you think you could give me her number? So then I can let her know what the car looks like and what number to expect when we go to pick her up,” Nick is quick to give Matt a small nod and even smaller smirk, knowing the exact reason he is asking for your number, but Nick didn’t wanna ruin Matt’s fun so he sent him your number.

Three days later…

Your phone pings with a random number but the message doesn’t concern you, it actually makes your stomach twist in excitement. The text reads, “Hey Y/N, it’s Matt Sturniolo. Nick gave me your number so then I can text you when we come to pick you up from the airport, or so we can just talk and get to know each other a little better before you fly here”

“Matthew Sturniolo wants to get to know me!” You say quietly to yourself, your heart pounding as you read the text over and over again. You’ve always liked Matt the most, thinking he was the best looking, the one you related to the most out of the three of them, and overall someone you genuinely wanted to meet and see what they are like in person.

With a big grin and shaking fingers you text him back, “Hi Matt, I would love to get to know you some more before flying out. Thanks for texting me, and know that I’m always open to talk and all!” You hit send on the text and send your phone flying across your bed with a small squeal. A few small giggles leave your lips as you think about what just happened. The Matthew Sturniolo just text you, wanting to get to know you.

But what you didn’t know is that your text did the same thing to him. Making his stomach twirl in excitement as he read over your words. The same small giggles leaving his lips as he blushes and smiles at the words, “I would love to get to know you…” on his screen.

AN: i hoped you enjoyed this part! The next part is Y/N flying out to la and meeting the triplets for the first time!! And texting Matt some more🤭

Any interaction is welcomed and very much appreciated

All borders from @issysh3ll

[poppy-metal]

hmhmhmmm how do we feel about being patrick’s secret girlfriend-not-really-girlfriend? like, when you guys first start “dating”, he asks that you keep it private, and you’re fine with that— you aren’t exactly fond of having people all up in your business either. but eventually it starts to feel like he just…doesn’t want people to know the two of you are involved with each other at all. and at first you push all feelings of doubt down, tell yourself that it’s not that big of a deal, that you’re lucky to even have a chance with him in the first place. you aren’t okay with being a secret though. you want people to know that you’re taken, that he’s yours and you’re his. you want all the gross pda and mushy dates. it’s bad enough that you barely see him anymore with him having gone pro and whatnot. you’d never say that to his face though, never that. you’ll never make yourself look that desperate. until. until, until, until. until you see what can only best be described as a horde of googly-eyed girls surrounding your not-quite-boyfriend, a million questions thrown at him per second. he doesn’t see you. how could he in all this chaos? the topic of dating comes up.

“is it true? that you have a girlfriend, i mean.” you subconsciously pray that he says yes, that he shuts down any chances of any girl other than you getting to be with him. instead he hesitates, and only responds to say “nah. you interested?” with that stupidly charming smile. your heart breaks. there’s no way this could get any worse, you think. you shouldn’t stay for a second longer. it feels as though your entire lower body is paralyzed, though. you can’t leave despite how badly you want to. the same girl— you assume— speaks again, saying something along the lines of “what about that one girl you’re talking to? what’s her name again?” she rattles off one, two, three names similar to yours, but not quite right. she’s talking about you. “uh…she’s a sweet girl, don’t get me wrong— but i wouldn’t say we’re a thing.“ patrick responds with ease. he doesn’t even seem guilty. oh. oh oh oh. you want the world to open up and swallow you whole. you want to sink into quicksand. you can’t even get “a thing”? that’s like, the bare fucking minimum. now you seriously can’t bare to hear anymore. not without crying. if this is what a relationship is supposed to be, you’d rather not be in one at all.

just a silly thought!

cries it probably goes sm like this

and then you block him again. its not the first time you've blocked him over a fight, but its the first time you've been committed to it. you dont unblock him, and you change your route the next day to avoid seeing him. you miss him though. its an ache in your chest. your friends will tell you you're better off, that he was just fucking around with you, but it wont make the hurt lessen. they dont know patrick like you do. they dont know that he bites his bottom lip when he finds something you said funny like he's holding in a giggle, they dont know how warm he is or how it feels to be held by him and rocked back and forth. they dont know how it feels to have his fingers tracing patterns on your back, tucking your hair back for you. they dont know how his voice softens and lowers when he's being gentle with you. they dont know how he has your favorite snacks memorized and your favorite order and he always speaks for you in the drive-thru because he knows what you want and he always hand feeds you his fries. they dont know how good it feels with his hands in your hair and his lips on your skin and his cock inside you - thick and stretching. they dont know the things he whispers in your ear when he'd close to coming, the way he grips you closer like he wants to melt inside you and stay there forever. they dont know he likes to lay his head on your lap and have his hair played with. they dont know you're in love with him and you dont know how to not be.

you end up seeing patrick a week later. he's on TV and he's holding the passenger side of his door open for a young woman. she's smiling shyly and he's grinning at her and you just think about how a month ago he fucked you in the backseat of that car - legs splayed as he gripped your ass and bounced you on and off his dick. how hot and steamy it got and how he'd licked the sweat from your throat and sucked your skin into his greedy mouth as he fucked you, how he groaned as you clamped around him like a vice and said "fuck, i think i love you -" right before he came.

obviously just something he'd said in the heat of the moment. obviously it meant nothing. you turn the TV off and debate unblocking him just to pour out all the hurt you feel. make him see how he's ruined you. but you know that'll do no good. he wont care.

you think you'll try your hand at moving on yourself. didn't he an art have an argument not too long ago? a falling out? wasn't art nursing his own broken heart from that tashi girl? maybe you could help eachother.

(what you dont know is that patrick does care. that he's spent everyday talking himself out of making a new number just to text you on, that he can barely get off when he's with other women because they dont feel like you do, they dont talk to him the way you do - he just feels sick after, like he cheated and hes the worst person in the world and he just wants to come crawling back to you and press his face into your stomach and tell you hes sorry. hes sorry tashi fucked him up so bad and he just doesn't want to trust again and hes sorry he's taking it out on you and hes sorry he thinks hes in love with you and he can't do anything with that love because his love isn't enough - it ruins people. it ruined art and it ruined tashi and he doesn't want it to ruin you. hes not built to be a boyfriend. all hes good at is hitting a ball with a racket)

[payasita]

Good job getting ADHD medication! I’m so proud of you :D

thanks so so much im very happy and so hopeful for the first time maybe ever but also it TOOK ME LIKE. A YEAR. A YEAR.

like yall for real?? for real. for real i have been diagnosed since i was like six. (funny story my teacher thought i was on the spectrum so my parents get me tested with the nodes and shit and according to mom, who loves this story, my neurologist did all that and talked to me and then just turned to my mom and went "she's not autistic. she just hates the other kids" but they DID find an adhd diagnosis in there so net win for all of us)

diagnosed since i was SIX. on stimulants until i turned 8, and you know why i got off em? my pediatrician retired. we could not find another who would take our low-income insurance. so i just had to rawdog The Rest Of My Fucking Life. diagnosed when i was six. legally neurodivergent for 20 slutty slutty angry years.

and it still took me like. a few months to get a psych appointment. a few weeks to reaffirm my diagnosis as an adult. a few more weeks for another appointment for meds. he doesnt Want to do meds first, because i must have been doing fine without them if its been two decades, right? i got a job and a car and everything. well gee fuckin shittickers Dr. Brain Guy, just WHAT was my alternative? would you prefer i be maladapted to the point of incapacitation; is that what it takes for someone to be considered? i cheated my way through school. every day after work i sit for an hour in my car because i dont have the executive function to stand up and walk the ten steps to my house. garbage just appears around me. i have three empty bags of hot chip and two cans of sprite on my desk as we speak, neither from today. at that point i hadnt had a debit card for six months because that would have required me to Drive To The Bank, a location that was new to me in this area, so i just did everything on credit. is this all normal? is this fine? am i GOOD, actually, Dr. WeirdBrain?

so we cordially agree that yes i should probably be medicated. i want to do a stimulant. he does not want to put me on a stimulant. "stimulants can mess with your heart," he says, "and you're young, you don't want heart problems." i say ok because i dont want to make him think im just looking for narcotics. even though i am. because they WORK. i agree to try some kind of antidepressant.

the antidepressant gives me tachycardia. i go to the emergency room after reading a heartbeat of, oh, 140 bpm, which is about like double what it normally is and juuuust below the You Are Having A Heart Attack threshold. i get to the ER and the doctor there is very obviously convinced i'm a local addict having some sort of episode. it is the most ironic experience i've had all year and i feel an abrupt and all consuming kinship with those birds in australia that will swoop you and peck at your face for seemingly no good reason.

so yeah, we narrow it down to the antidepressant. as it turns out, these particular meds are known to, semi-commonly, Mess With Your Heart. i have my next appointment with my psych and somehow refrain from pecking his eyes out. he puts me on a noreprinephrine inhibitor(iirc) that isnt actually FDA approved to treat ADHD specifically(i DEFINITELY rc) but it IS given to smokers to help them quit. i dont smoke. i may very well fucking start before this whole ordeal is at the point where someone listens to me

it obviously does a combined total of jack and shit, and the man waffles with this one because he has "had success" using it as treatment for other ADHD patients. he ups the dose. twice. three months on the smoker meds, which are also apparently notorious for destroying your appetite, but they didnt even do THAT. no change to the average amount of hot chip on my desk.

he wants to try quelbree after that. i finally tell him i'm tired of this shit and would like to have more than two hours of usable daylight to function before it all falls to uncontrollable youtube shorts binges and a daily experience i like to call The Weighted Nothings and i would very much like to PLEASE. TRY A STIMULANT.

he's been friendly enough with me over these past four or five or whatever months but at this he gets suddenly very very business-baseline. gives me the whole spiel about the north american shortage. gives me a spiel about how i absolutely cannot, under any circumstances, lose or sell this medication, because they will not refill it if i do. i am sitting here wondering if he he's telling the truth about having other ADHD patients at all like ever in his career, and also, am i nuts or should the "don't sell your prescription drugs" bit apply to EVERYTHING? i dont fuckin know man i just live here

he says he wants a urine test first. its scheduled for two weeks out. i take it.

"hey uh, your piss came back with cannabis in it" "well it'd be weirder if it didn't, we are in california and i am a kitchen manager" "you can't have weed if you want adderall" "fine i'll stop" "we'll schedule you another test in a month" "aight bet" it didnt go exactly like that but this is kind of what the vibe between us has devolved into by this point.

anyway i wait a month and get a good grade in piss. i get the meds prescribed. i go to fill out the prescription

all i really need to say to you are the words "prior authorization error" for most of you to get what happened next.

the psych isnt even aware. i wait another month for our next meeting, which was yesterday. i do not yell at him. he tells me to take it up with the pharmacy, and yell at them. i am going to yell at them.

so i go, and guess what, it actually went through a while ago! NO ONE TOLD ME OR DR. FEEL-BAD OVER HERE. but we can't fill it right now because its a controlled substance so come back in a few hours. hey it's ready where the hell are you? TAKE YOUR METH AND GET OUT

anyway i started it today, reorganized my pantry, and fixed the fire alarm in my hallway that's been chirping at me for a week. i no longer have to wear earplugs to bed.

and with my newfound executive function superpowers, i will be spraying my weed-free piss all over Reagan's grave.

[kingtomura]

Deja Vu | 1 | January Embers

summary: Your best friend died years ago. He went up in flames until there was nothing left... so why does it feel like you can still see him sometimes? content: touya todoroki x female reader, childhood friends au, reader has a quirk, flashbacks, childhood memories, fluff, heavy angst, bullying, eventual smut, eventual meaning next chapter, soft touya, hurt/comfort, tragedy, mdni wc: 4.5k | Chapter 2 | m. list | read on ao3

You meet Touya Todoroki when you are four years old.

He was a redhot firecracker that demanded the attention of you and all those around him. 

Touya Todoroki was also the first in your class to have his quirk maifest. It was the talk for about a week, everyone expecting nothing less from the son of the flame hero, Endeavor, himself. 

You would watch him some days, flaunting his newfound power on the playground in front of others, knowing he would be some great hero one day. Even better than All Might, he would yell to anyone that would listen. It was a decent dream, you believed. Maybe someone could actually be better than All Might. 

It didn’t seem like that would be in the cards for you, as it became more apparent as the days went by that you may not have a quirk. The excitement of watching every other child’s quirk manifest began to fill you with a pit of dread.

Quirkless. 

It’s something you never thought you would have to think about. The realization hadn’t caught up with the rest of your class yet and you could only thank the stars.

But it was only a matter of time before a group of three noticed. 

They cornered you while you tried drawing shapes in the sanded area of the playground. 

“Hey,” one kid dragged, horns proudly peeking out of his head. “What’s goin’ on with you?” 

You spared him a glance before going back to your sand, gliding the stick you found through the yellow grains. “What do you mean?”

One girl behind him pipes up, curly pigtails bouncing with the tilt of her head,  “Where’s your quirk? Aren’t you turning five soon?”

The emphasis on five makes you jolt a little and you try to play it off — offering a little shrug to the trio. “I dunno. Mom says I'm a late bloomer.” you pray they will be satisfied with your answer and leave you alone. 

The third kid finally speaks, sporting a new pair of bat-like wings. “No way, I bet you’re gonna be quirkless!”

The other children erupt in a loud laugh that calls the attention of your other classmates — much to your dismay. 

“That’s so sad for you!” the girl yelled, grin on her face showing not an ounce of pity. 

“Yeah, really!” The first boy laughs, taking a step forward and kicking the sand you were drawing in towards you, effectively ruining your picture and your day. 

You go to stand, brushing the sand off of your dress before the girl rushes forward to push you, sending you down to land flat on your bottom. Your bottom lip wobbled as you tried to hold back the tears and humiliation threatening to spill over and out. 

The bat-winged boy pointed to you, “Look, guys, she’s gonna cry!” Yelling out to anyone who could hear, only causing you to dip your head in shame, now unable to stop the warm tears from trailing down your cheeks. 

And you thought today couldn’t get any worse.

“Hey! Knock it off!” You hear a voice yell, familiar. “Flashfire fist!”

You feel the heat before you see it, hot and swift.

The screams make you look up. Its Touya, red hair and fist aflame, standing in front of you and effectively blocking you from the trio of bullies before. 

“Ouch, Touya! You could have really hurt us!” the girl with pigtails cried, holding her own wrist as tears flowed freely down her cheeks.

The boy who kicked sand at you spoke up next, voice wavering on the verge of tears as well, “Yeah, you jerk!”

Touya shrugged, flames dissipating and points a finger at them, “I don't care. Bullies’ feelings dont matter!” 

You could only stare with wet lashes as the trio ran off — no doubt to tell the teacher. Touya didn’t seem to mind, as a matter of fact he seemed proud as he turned to you and reached out a hand to help you up. He was all smiles and warm eyes, “Are you alright?”

You take his hand, noting how warm it still was from his previous quirk use and nod, “Mhm, thank you.”

“It’s no problem,” he helped you to your feet before continuing, his smile almost blinding, “I’m Touya Todoroki, the next number one hero.” 

You nod and introduce yourself, cheeks warm and smile dancing across your face. His mood is infectious. “Nice to meet you, Touya, next number one hero.” 

Later that day you realize Touya does get in trouble for improper quirk use and can’t help but apologize. 

“It’s fine!” He returns, not bothered in the slightest. “I’d do it again and again, if I had to.”

After the incident Touya insisted on being by your side the rest of the day. During lunch, arts and crafts and even nap time. He would go where you would go and you couldn’t say you minded. Once school had finished for the day and it was time to break apart Touya insisted you both hang out more.

Even going as far as to introduce himself to your parents as they came to pick you up. 

His foot tapped in excitement as he told them about your days and how you should hang out more. 

That’s how you both find yourselves in some forest on the weekend, walking together through the fresh snow, because Touya just had to show you this cool training spot. 

“But, don't you think we’re going too far, Touya?” You ask, nerves trembling as you look around the forest. You wouldn’t know your way back without him and you’ve never been this far out alone. 

“No,” he singsongs, “C’mon– don't be such a baby,” 

You puff your cheeks, running to catch up with him,  “Don’t call me that, but okay!” 

He grabs your hand once you are by his side and it's warm. Touya is always warm. 

“We’re almost there, anyway!” 

This special place looked the same as any other place in these woods, but you wouldn’t let Touya know. He’s so excited to show you what he came to do. 

“My dad and I train here sometimes.” He starts, smiling as he backs away from you to show you a flame in his hand. “He thinks my flames will be hotter than his one day.”

You can’t hide the way your eyes fill with sadness as you look to the ground. 

“I don’t think I’m gonna get a quirk, Touya.” 

The boy’s smile drops instantly, as he rushes over to you, taking your face in his tiny hands. Still so warm, like always. 

“Hey, don’t say that! Maybe you aren't trying the right things.” He dips behind you before you could turn to stop him, “Maybe you can see in the dark!” His hypothesis being tested by covering your eyes. 

You bite back a laugh, “No, Touya, I don't think it works like that.” 

The boy lets you go and runs to a rather large, fallen log – climbing atop it and looking down to you. “Well, maybe you can fly. Have you tried that?” 

You shake your head, unable to hide the worry in your face. Touya was up pretty high. “Hey… you shouldn’t be up that far.” 

“What do you mean? It’s fine!” he reassures, continuing his musing while walking along the fallen log. “Besides, it’s not like I'm clumsy or anything—!” 

The boy’s words were cut short by his shoe stepping down and slipping on the ice below it, sending him crashing down to the patch of snow and debris below. 

In that moment, your hand shoots out before you can think and there’s ringing in your ears. Your eyes squeezed shut as you wait for the impending crash. But it doesn’t come. 

You slowly open your eyes and see… Touya. He’s okay. Better than okay because he’s floating above the snowy patch of grass below, debris and everything brushed away. Your hand is still out as you meet Touya's wide eyes. 

“Whoa!” You finally pull your hand back and watch his feet gently touch the grass below. “Dude, you have mind powers! So cool!” 

You will your breathing to go back to normal as you take in the new information. You do have a quirk. All hope was not lost. 

The feeling of warm liquid creeping down your nostril catches your attention. Bringing a finger to your nose, you pull back and see the crimson drop. Blood. The sound of Touya’s steps through the snow breaks your focus. 

“Hey, what happened? You're bleeding.” He takes your finger in his hand, red brows furrowed and cerulean eyes filled with worry. 

You shrug, taking your hand back and wiping your nose with your sleeve, unaware of the tiny smear of blood you left across your face. “I dunno. I’m not hurt, though.”

At this, Touya smiles, bringing his own hand to your face to wipe the remainder of what you smeared. “You better not be! We’re gonna be heroes together — you and me!”

It’s so infectious, the way he lights up with a smile, you can’t help but return it. “Yeah, we sure will.”

—----------------

The first time you think you see Touya it’s while you are on your way home from the bustling area of downtown. 

The shops are crowded with people trying to get their last minute gifts for the holidays and you promised your parents you would be home hours ago. It’s a flash – so quick you almost miss it. 

Almost. 

Through the crowd there's a glint of white hair and blue eyes. You stop, sending the people behind you nearly barrolling into your backside and profusely apologize, half heartedly hearing their grumbles as you make your way through the flurry of people. 

The snow white hair is a little further ahead, but you can see bits and pieces where the sea of heads will naturally move. 

Was that…

It couldn’t be. Your heart picks up as you nearly chase your way through, mumbling faint excuse me’s and pardon me’s to those around you as you lock onto the moving person. It's becoming harder to keep up and you break out in a light sprint. 

The person takes a sharp left into an alley and you follow behind, only to be met with the emptiness of a damp back alley. 

There was no way it could be him. Your mind was playing tricks on you. 

You shake your head, hoping you could physically shake those thoughts from your brain and turn to head home. It had been a long day.

There is a battle raging in your mind — one that you are not sure is formed from grief or from anxiety. it is an all consuming inferno of blackened dust in your heart and you cannot stop yourself when you bring it up to Fuyumi.

You both have been sitting in silence for a while, wrapping gifts for the upcoming holidays. She has been in her own little world, humming christmas tunes, while you have been in a fit of inner turmoil. 

“Hey, Fuyumi,” you start, instantly catching her attention in the otherwise quiet home. 

“Hm?”

Your nerves are eating your confidence and you start to second guess yourself. Only the warmth in her gray eyes gives you the resolve to continue. “Something weird happened at the market the other day.”

She tilts her head, flowing ponytail following the direction, “What’s that?”

“I was walking and,” you stall — unsure if bringing up your friend's dead brother before the holidays would be a good move. “I swear, I thought I saw Touya. It was a flash, but the guy had his white hair and,” unwanted tears are blurring your vision, “and his eyes were so much like Touya’s i don't—” you're choking up, tears fighting their way through your throat, “I thought i was going crazy.”

Surprisingly, Fuyumi takes it well, reaching a hand out to touch your shoulder, a comforting motion you’ve grown to know over the years. 

“Hey, it’s okay. That could have been anyone, you know?” She smiles, and it’s bittersweet like the flowers at a funeral, “it’s the holiday season so everyone is out right now.”

You nod, reluctant, but logical. “Yeah, yeah you’re right. It was pretty crowded in that area.” the tears would force their way through your resistance whether you fought them or not, so you give up – letting them flow down your cheeks. “I’m sorry for bringing it up, Fuyumi.”

“No, it's okay! Don't worry about it." She looks to the side. “It’s only been three years since it happened, and the anniversary of his death is coming up too. It's harder around this time of year. For all of us.” 

You can only nod as Fuyumi brings you into a tight hug. Your resolve melted away in her arms as you cried, it felt like things would never get easier. 

A life without Touya wasn’t a life you could see yourself living happily in.

You wished and prayed for him everyday — unwilling to believe your best friend was really truly gone. It felt so surreal. Like something that happens in movies and not to you.

Fuyumi said nothing as she held you and rubbed soothing circles on your back. She has been a pillar for you in these times and you couldn’t be more grateful. Only wishing you could show your gratuity in a more effective form than just sobbing into her shoulder. 

There is an anguish in your heart that will not go away. A part of you died when Touya did, there was no denying that. 

Fuyumi pulls away, holding you by the shoulders as her eyes meet yours — she's started crying too and it's enough to make you shake with sobs again. 

“Hey, hey,” Fuyumi starts, her voice unwavering despite the tears. You wish you were strong like her. “We’ll get through this, okay? We just have to be strong.”

You give her a pathetic nod, one more for her sake than yours, and try to sit up straighter. 

You knew that Touya wouldn’t want to see you like this.

—-------------------

When you are five years old, you notice there is a change in Touya.

You gasp when you see him again, “Touya! Your hair!” 

His eyebrows scrunch at your pointing and then widen in realization. “Huh? Oh, don’t worry about that.” Touya huffs, “were you even listening?”

The question startles you and you quickly nod your head, knowing you didn't hear a word he said. “Mhm!”

Touya keeps talking, now bringing a hand to his hair, rubbing a lock between his forefinger and thumb, “Okay, so what’s the deal?” 

You can't stop the confused look in your eye as you watch him, cheeks rosy from the cold. It snowed again yesterday, and Touya never seemed bothered by the cold. You were freezing though. 

Somehow you let him bring you back to this forest — it’s become your go to hangout. A place where the both of you could practice your quirks in peace. 

“Do you like All Might or something?” 

You shrug, indifferent to the well known hero. Your parents weren’t heroes and neither was anyone in your family. He seemed more like a comic book character than an actual person. 

“Well, it doesn't matter. My dad told me I’m gonna be even better than All Might! So he better watch out.”

You smile, seeing his eyes light up, “Oh, yeah? How are you gonna be better than him, Touya?” 

You don’t know why but it makes your heart dance when he gets this way. Stars in his eyes and world in his hand. He’s your hero, you absently wonder if he knows that. 

Touya shrugs, scrunching his nose in thought, “I dunno. I haven’t gotten that far yet.” He snaps his fingers and turns to you, “I know! I’ll look it up. It can’t be too hard, right?”

You laugh now. Of course he doesn’t have a plan.

“Don't you think if it were that easy he wouldn't be the number one right now?” You test, and Touya gives you a look, pout strong on his face.

“Hey, whose side are you on, anyway?”

“Yours! So, I don't want you to waste your time on silly stuff.” You offer, looking at the leaves you're making dance in your hand. 

He groans, the frustration evident in his voice, “Whatever! I’ll figure something else out.”

In that moment, there’s a great gust of wind — whistling and blowing the leaves in your hand away. It’s chill makes you wrap your arms around yourself, shivering. 

“Touya, don’t you get cold?” You ask, arms doing little to warm yourself as you continue to shiver. 

The boy looks at you, brows furrowed and eyes confused. “No, do you?”

“Yes!” You shout, “all the time! It’s so c-cold out here. I don’t know how you do it.” 

He walks over to you, pondering and examining your face. “Yeah, your nose is all red. Rudolf.” 

He takes your face into his hands and closes his eyes, rubbing his nose against yours back and forth. It’s warm and it makes you flush. Your cheeks burn when he pulls away, stunned at the smile on his face and stars in his eyes.

“Better?” He asks, innocent question ringing in your ears and you realize yes, you do feel better, but you also feel warm and fuzzy like there are butterflies dancing around in your belly and you can’t get them out — so, you just nod instead, slow smile creeping on your face and Touya grabs your hand again.

“Good! Now let’s keep going! There’s this cool new move I wanna try.” 

And you follow behind him. He was your best friend after all. You feel as though you would even follow him through the icy storms of Antarctica if you needed to. 

—-------------------

Christmas with the Todoroki’s has always been interesting. For one, half of them were not present during the dinner. Rei being sent to the facility, endeavor choosing to work on his hero duties and little Shouto desperately trying to eat with all of you without Enji coming home to find him out of his room. 

The silence is eerie – other than the sounds of metal clinking against porcelain plates. 

You couldn’t help but break the tense air, words sounding loud in the quiet of the room, “Thank you all for inviting me over. The food is really good, Natsuo.”

At this, Natsuo perks up, a smile so wide on his face it makes his eyes squeeze shut. “We love having you around! You’re like the big sis we never had!”

“Hey!” Fuyumi squawks, ready to scold her little brother, “I’m the one who knows where you sleep Natsu, so watch it!”

You can’t help but laugh at the threat, knowing Natsuo has been a victim to many of Fuyumi’s pranks. Shouto only watches on, eating as much as he could before he would inevitably go back to his side of the home. There wasn’t much expression to his face, but he seemed content to watch his older siblings bicker back and forth. 

Times like these were nice, you decide. It pulls your mind away from the reality and into the more lively parts of growing up.

After the dinner was done, and the gifts were passed out, there was a somber air growing about you all once more. 

Shouto went back to his room and Natsuo found his place in the living room, playing video games and insisting that since he cooked most of the meal, he shouldn’t wash dishes as well. 

Much to Fuyumi’s dismay, you agreed with Natuso, but offered to help her with the dishes. It was something to prolong the inevitable walk home. 

“What did you get for him this year?” Fuyumi asked, passing you another plate to dry.

You glanced at her, noting how she avoided your gaze, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth instead. “It’s something I’ve been working on for a while. A necklace — with charms and things I think he would like.”

She nods, bringing an arm up to wipe her eyes with her wrist, “Yeah, I’m sure he would love that. He always liked your gifts.”

It’s impossible not to find yourself tearing up. 

Once you were done washing dishes with Fuyumi, she went to join Natsuo in the living room, offering unwanted tips on the current game he was playing and receiving groans of irritation in return. 

You take that as your cue to leave and make your way to the place you’ve dreaded all night.

Touya’s shrine.

His memoriam stared back at you as you dropped to your knees, lowering your head in prayer and then placing the small decorated box onto the shelf of his shrine. 

“Oh, Touya… it’s been three years.” You say to his photo hanging above the shrine. It’s his school photo. You were both in the same class, already talking about what high schools you would be choosing in the upcoming years.  

It doesn’t feel like three years. It feels like everyday is the same — you wake up and he’s not there. Like a day you’re doomed to repeat until the reality of it all finally sets in. 

What would he look like now, you wonder. Would he have gotten taller? He had always been smaller than the other kids. Would he still have dreams of being a hero? You didn’t know. You wished you knew. 

Your fists clinch in your lap and the tears flow freely from your eyes. Even with your head bowed you can’t stop seeing his picture etched into your brain. Those blue eyes staring into your eyes. 

A sob escapes your lips and it all comes crashing down after that. 

“God, Touya..!” Your words break down, sending your resolve with it. It feels like your heart has been ripped out of your chest and you’ve been openly bleeding out for three years. 

You are only sixteen years old and expected to spend the rest of your life without the boy who would put the moon in the sky for you. 

Unthinkable.

You’re not sure how much time has passed once you’ve calmed down, but you know it’s late now. 

It was time to head home, and you wished Fuyumi and Natsuo well as you hugged them. They wave you off, faces somber and words tight. If they heard you crying, they didn't mention it and you’re thankful. 

The trek home would not be not a long one, but you couldn’t stop yourself from taking a detour. 

The forest where you and Touya always hung out was nearby and you can't stop your feet when you make a sharp right turn and head that way. 

It was getting dark and snow was beginning to fall, but you felt at home.

There's a river you like to walk along. It's such a small little stream that never seems to freeze over, no matter how cold it is outside. It is where you find yourself trailing beside. The water being the only noise breaking through the quiet of the forest.

It kept you company until you reached the familiar open patch of grass, which was currently covered in snow. 

Some trees were still charred from the incident, but others were still standing proud. It’s strange how that works — some things can remain the same through adversity while others are damaged beyond repair. You wonder if things could ever grow back from such tragedies.

Maybe the growth of something new could come from the ashes of the old. Like a phoenix.

The snapping of a twig snatches you from your thoughts. 

It's a forest, yes, but this area doesn’t have much food for the animals. You stand to your feet, absently wondering when you had taken a seat in the first place, and look around. Maybe it was a trick of the wind, or something falling. 

The snow crunches under your feet as you begin to take your leave — you’ve been out long enough. 

You make your way through the thick of the trees until something brings you to pause. 

Your steps were not the only steps you were hearing. 

“Hello?” You call out into what you hoped had been an empty forest, only to be met with silence. It is not a comforting quiet, it was a quiet that crept underneath your skin and gave you goosebumps. 

It felt like you were being watched. 

“This isn’t funny!” You yell, taking cautious steps backwards, preparing yourself for a sprint in the opposite direction. 

You turn, ready to take off when a glimmer of silver catches your eye, the flicker making you halt your movements.

Your heart hammered against your chest.

There was no way. 

It was so faint, but you knew the necklace you crafted like the back of your hand.

“Hey! Stop fucking around, whoever you are!” You don’t know where this brave face is coming from, but you aren’t backing down. You could fight if need be.

Against your better judgment, you take a few steps forward, and like you thought, whoever was around took those steps with you. Your breath hitches when you see it. 

A flash of white hair. 

You break off into a sprint, and the person is already off, having a headstart and leaving you behind. 

You couldn’t see as well through the snowfall, but you didn’t need to. White hair and the shimmer of a necklace around the person’s neck has you chasing them deeper into the woods. 

“Stop..!” You cry out, reaching a hand forward in an attempt to activate your quirk. 

The force of it causes branches to fall from a tree further ahead of the person and he only changes direction. 

You follow behind, lungs burning as you struggle to keep up. There was another attempt, bringing an already leaning tree down in front of the running man. It still did not work, he simply jumped over it and continued on. 

You were approaching your limit with your quirk and desperate. If you let this slip through your fingers it would drive you mad. 

“Wait!” You try again, reaching both hands forward and focusing all you had on the man before you. It was hard to ignore the blood trickling from both nostrils with your quirk use, but you had to, this was your only chance. “Touya..!”

And in that moment, the man stopped — whether it be from your quirk holding him in place or his own will, you weren't sure. All you knew was that the man stopped, and turned.

Your vision began to blur as your head pounded from the overexertion — your quirk was difficult to use on a living being, but it didn’t matter. You would know those eyes even in your darkest hour.

The cerulean blue was the last thing you saw before your world went dark. 

And in your final moments, only one thought rang in your mind.

Touya is alive.

[firefly--bright]

unearthed.

jean kirstein x fem!reader, modern a.u., buzzfeed unsolved a.u.

summary ; you dont know just how many watchful souls listen to you and jean speak, waiting, watching. maybe it's just you, but the prison air feels warmer. warnings ; mentions of violence, a little horror (? literally just the tiniest bit), talks of death. cringe humor. a/n ; happy halloween my beloveds. crazy that halloween and diwali were on the same day. kinda poetic lowkey. im DEAD TIRED so ykw that means! happy fireflyfic day! (and happy diwali to those who celebrate :)) taglist ; @holding-infinity-and-a-book , @mrsnobodynobody , @hopeless-anti-romantic , @jeanscremebrulee , @berrijam , @happxme , @cherrypieyourface , @imgayandshesanime , @moonmalice , @kivernova , @potaho3frog , @xakilicious , @katestrophes , @gojo-ana , @ppushable , @zombiefiedskeivy

masterlist is in pinned post! ✿ enter my taglist! ✿

The prison wasnt eerie, which should’ve struck you as concerning. 

No, rather, the opposite, the fact that it was a little too comfortable, a little too lived-in to be considered ghostly was what you found…weird. Or maybe it was jean’s presence next to yours, the coldness of the air masked by his warmth and stolen jacket perched over your shoulders that made the air feel a little more breathable.

Connie and marco are huddled over the camera, speaking in hushed whispers - some technical jargon that your brain is too tired to recognize. 

Jean shifted from beside you, adjusting his own coat - not stolen - and thumbed the straps over his chest that snuggly held a smaller camera so it fit better over him. He cleared his throat when he caught you zoning out, “know your lines?” he asked, a prompt for you to speak your mind. 

You smiled cheekily, looking at him under the dim, sole flashlight. “By heart. Scared, jean-boy?” 

“Dont call me that on camera, please,” he says, eyes screwing shut when you shine your light straight into them. 

“Have i ever embarrassed you? You do that to yourself more than i do,” “okay that’s…intentional. It helps with the character im going for.” you snort. “Damsel in distress?” he scoffs, “i had to save you last time, remember?” “that was just an excuse for you to hold my hand, you can admit it. The cameras arent rolling yet,” you tease, bumping your shoe with his worn-out converses. He lets you. There isnt much he doesnt let you do to him. 

“Alright, cameras are gonna start in three…two.. One!” marco’s voice is characteristically calming, even at a higher pitch.

 

Your shoulders stand straighter as you look into the lens, placing the flashlight right under your chin. “hello, watchers! Welcome back to another episode of Unearth - a series where we try to gather evidence of the paranormal to see who wins - a believer,” you say, pointing the light under jeans chin briefly before settling it back under yours, “or a skeptic.” “it’s not a competition,” “right. Of course not.” you say, winking into the camera. Its jean’s turn to speak, his voice a low baritone, and you can see his breath becoming foggy into the now november air. “We are here today at the Marley Prison, rumored to be the host of seventy percent of the state’s most wanted criminals since the early eighteen hundred's. And we’re standing infront of it now and it’s fucking creepy,” “right, and it was also incredibly overcrowded, so-” “-so just, a terrible place to live in.” “yeah, but they killed people,” “...right. Most of them.” “i’ve heard it smells like shit,” you say, almost forgetting that this might get broadcasted, but jean’s eyes on you seemed to have that effect. forgetting the size of your own beating hear, forgetting where you were, melting away any proof of life except his.

He smirks, looking straight at the camera once more. “Right, that’s why i have-” he pulls out a small spray bottle. From what you could read, the text flashed, “FLOWER POWER!” and your smile turned into a laugh. “- this air freshener right here.” “right. That’ll protect us.” “if i get possessed i’d want.. It to smell, like-” “-like flower power-” “right.” now the both of you are laughing, shoulders shaking.

“Great. Let’s head inside, guys,” marco says, smile on his face, and eren puts the camera down to view what he had gathered. 

“After you,” jean says, his shoes scruffing against the harsh stones underneath, spreading his arm infront of you as a guide.

“Pussy,” you muttered, making him sputter.

-

“Alright,” you say, settling on the cold hard ground. Cell number 509, holding the last inmate of the entire prison who passed away in the very same, cramped room. Only a mattress and a sink to keep him company, a small, hand-sized window on the wall opposite to the door, meant to be locked at all times. 

“Dangerous people in this place,” you say, mostly to yourself. Your partner was on the ground floor of the vicinity, in another building entirely, investigating by himself. You decided to split up to see if that might spite any spirits to act, planning on asking questions to the different people that were barely alive, living in the space so freely disturbed. The camera crew were also downstairs, waiting on the two of you to be done. All you had was an old walkie-talkie that connected to jean’s. 

“You there?” his voice - filled with static and concern - reaches the confines of the prison cell. “Yep. where are you?” you ask, sitting in the middle of the floor, pulling your knees up to your chest, your flashlight flickering. “Im at the uh… that punishment place.” “ah. Im in Dean Cooper’s cell.” “oh,” he says. “Why dont we just use our phones for this part?” he asks, a beep following him. You smile. “I dont know, actually. Do you- should we?” “yeah that’d be.. I mean, better communication. Audio..quality - there are so many bugs here,” he speaks as you switch your phone on, dialing his number. He picks up not even a second in.

“Okay, can you hear me better?” he asks, and you rest your back against the thick wall. The door - heavy and cold - is fully closed so you could get a better experience, the full creeps. You nod, knowing he cant see it. “yep. Its crazy that people had to live like this,” you speak, holding the microphone part of your device close to your mouth, his voice on speaker. Something alive to fill the walls, more than your own presence. “Yeah. well it’s crazy that they committed so many crimes, honestly,” “i know.” 

You’re supposed to be filming. Your camera is rolling already and youre supposed to be speaking to a presumed dead person but a holy one is roaming downstairs without you and all you have is his voice as proof. “Hey,” jean calls out, and you thank good network reception and technology to have his voice be so clear, without cuts, real against your hand. “Im at the uh… what’s it called? The place where they could talk to their loved ones right now.” “ah,” “it feels weird.” a beat of silence. “Weird how?” you ask, your voice quiet. 

“Like-” theres a shifting sound at the end of the line, followed by a slight creak. “- weird in the sense that… i dont know, like, people still loved and cared for quote-unquote bad people,” 

You hum. Your head now also rests against the wall, too unaware to keep it up, too comfortable to find your own muscles. “I dont know. You’re always better with the words and shit.” he says, and you give him a small laugh. “Words and shit?” “yeah like, you know what to say.” “i mean, these people are dead, jean, theres a real small chance they can even hear us.” “i know, but like, even to alive people.” its almost 3 am, your phone says, and your heart increases in size, a little too comfortable against your ribcage. 

Have you ever felt that before? the muscle that’s supposed to be contained in a confined space now opens itself up and you have no choice but to let it. It grows, bigger, until youre body is tattered and all that remains as proof is your heart, big and timid, still beating, waiting for jean’s eyes to look at it. You havent. You wonder if any of the people half-alive in this place have. 

“I mean, love is alot of patience,” you start, your fingers fiddling with the end of your jacket. A stray piece of thread. You hear him humming in agreement and continue, “maybe they just… couldnt say it. How many times have you been able to not say that you love someone, y’know? And then you get the chance to but then it gets lost in all the other unimportant things and maybe that… maybe that’s love. The unimportant things.” you say. Your fingers feel funny, tingly, hearing his voice saying something at the end of your sentence. Youre too caught up to say something important as a reply.

So you settle. Listen. “Like, imagining this place alive… y’know. Like not in a creepy way but in like… it’s - like so much time passed, and so much was said here.” he says. His voice holds importance in your hands, and you trace shapes into the side of your phone with your thumb as if its the back of his hand and you’ve taken it in yours, cold and patient, unimportant. Tracing shapes that cant be seen. He hears them though. It’s in every pause he takes, every breath he hears on your end of the line and he wonders if you know how your alive-ness makes him braver than the night. Brave enough to know that speaking is something to be accomplished, that you’re listening.

 

He stares at the glass window in front of him, sitting on the chairs that prisoners used to sit on with hope in their eyes. At least, that’s how he imagines it. Theres a small hole in the window, enough only to catch a couple breaths and silenced sentences and he can only imagine how the other person mightve felt, seeing their loved one behind a blurry and unkept screen.

“Im not going to empathize with them, obviously, but, i feel like… i mean, obviously this place was built to be inhumane. The fact that they even included that section of the prison, though.. I dont know. it's kinda nice.” you say, and he closes his eyes to pretend youre in front of him. Its not that hard, in all honesty, because your voice fills his ears and he’d rather listen to proof of the living - with her shoe kicking his, with her voice teasing his shrieks - rather than the minute but present proof of the dead. He knew someone - barely alive souls, watching - had to be listening to your conversation but he also knew that he was listening to it too and he’d rather commit to the cold of your familiar hands than the unfortunately lived-in warmth of this place.

“It is.” he agrees, his chin tilting up, his shoulders relaxing. One hand in his pocket, the other holding his phone, microphone to his lips with the speaker on. He wasnt alone. His phone’s screen is blurry and unkept, but he wasnt alone. 

“Y’know that’s what i find kind of… i dont know, comforting? About like, something this hopeless. That, like.. There’s a recreational room that they had. Like the option was there for them to sit down there and talk, maybe. I dont know how that wouldve gone-” you say, voice ending in a self-aware laugh, making him smile, “-but it was there, right. Same with this communication room…thingie. Like the option of loving is there.” 

Your voice floats against the walls of the room, touches the glasses separating him and the world, before coming back to him. His chest feels funny, more aware that it’s there. Not just as an organ and something trivial that helps him breathe but now as something larger than himself. Something less candid, hidden under layers of clothing and skin built to be thick, raised to be soft, and it almost lays there, in front of him, inhaling the sound of your voice like it’s a new source of oxygen. And it grows. Alive.

“Option of loving,” he echoes, eyes now fluttering open and looking at the expanse of the tattered ceiling above him, spotting shapes. Option of loving. “Like even now there’s like.. Im sitting here, and there’s notches on the wall. Like the… four standing lines and then a slash through them. Like the hope of getting out isnt gone. Its… cool how humans just do that.” you say. He clings onto every word, his own little prayer against the dark, unsaid but important. Option of loving.

He looks back infront of him, staring at the glass window again. Theres gunk in the corners of it and spiderwebs claiming it as their home in a place as haunted as this. “And even if i dont… believe in ghosts it’s like…cool to think about in the sense that, i dont know, everything is a proof of life. Y’know?” you ask, ready for confirmation knowing that he’d provide it to you. Anything you’d ask.

“Thats… i didnt see it like that,” he admits, “i mean i just saw it as like… confirmation that dead people are dead and that if there’s an afterlife we have to chose a right way to live, something we’re proud of, so that we dont regret it when we’re… dead and roaming the halls, waiting to be found, yknow?” “like grief.” you answer, and he shifts in his seat, getting a bit more comfortable. He nods, knowing you wont see it. “Yeah. kind of.” “that’s…poetic. We should start a podcast-” “-shut up,” and both your voices are broken up by laughs, short and warm and proof of being alive and roaming the halls, waiting to be found.

There’s a dog howling in the distance. No light in the room that you’re in, barely any air, coolness of november flush against your skin despite your layers. His voice holds you, a little blanket, cocooning you around yourself. “Hey, you’re supposed to come find me,” you say, reminding him of his task of peering into the halls, asking ghosts and bugs to come closer to him. Whatever’s alive or half-dead or half-alive or half-already-living. “And you’re supposed to play twenty questions with your hot date,” “i think he’s pretty cold, actually,” you say, he laughs. Another shift in fabric, another creak - he’s gotten up from his place on the chair, now warmed, soon to be claimed by the prison’s musty air, but for now it’s there. Fully alive. 

“My battery’s gonna die.” he says, voice a little solemn, his footsteps squeaking against the floor, rubber on hard cement. “We have walkie-talkies,” you provide, your voice full around it’s edges with your own smile and jean almost asks why youre smiling, but refrains. He’ll ask when he finds you. Or maybe he’ll tell you he’s in love with you. Or maybe the words will get lost under all the other unimportant things that he has to say to you. 

Or maybe that’s just what love is. The unimportant things, layered, hidden, chest and heart, large, warm, growing. 

[the-invisible-foe]

what are some common misconceptions about pathologic characters that ur sick of seeing in fandom spaces

anon thank you for blessing me with this wonderful ask this fine day

i'm gonna keep it pretty short for daniil because i don't want this to become a defense post about him and i think i've already said all there is to say but literally can we stop mischaracterizing him to this degree? it's very obvious that daniil does care about the town and the people around him given that he keeps trying to help in any way he can even when he has nothing to personally gain by doing so. and unless you're going for all the 'i'm an asshole' options in his dialogue he's actually polite and even endearing at certain points? especially that considering that during his own route he's pretty much thugging it out on his own, if anything helping the other two playable characters instead of the other way round, but in the haruspex and chageling route he's the one you turn to for help when stuff gets tough. here's a post that includes some of his lines that illustrate this point. also the implication that he's some clueless asshole that doesn't know what he's doing while artemy is The Good Doctor That Saves Everyone TM is a horrible misreading of the story and the framing of the plot. the bachelor's route is specifically a story about a person who finds themselves in such a hostile setting that, despite their best efforts, is unable to find their footing and ultimately fails at everything they try to accomplish. by interpreting this aspect of the game as daniil himself being incompetent you have missed out one of the most major points this game is trying to make.

as for artemy, i partly blame this on the developers themselves and how they handled his p2 characterisation but i dont like how the grittier aspects of his character are ignored in favor of a loving father persona. artemy can be a huge dick in classic, as can all three playable characters and a big part of why i like his and daniils relationship so much is because they're both these cold, reserved, introverted guys but allow themselves to enjoy an easier dynamic between them. i think that aspect of their relationship doesn't really work if you hc artemy as someone who is kind and cheerful from the get go.

in a similar vein i also don't like how perceptions of clara often boil down to silly teenage girl who makes meta jokes when her character is so much more than that. people completely ignore the unflattering aspects of her character, like how self-righteous she really is. i mean she's literally making it up as she goes and yet she feels so confident in herself and her methods that she finds it acceptable to trick the only two doctors into a rivalry (and then sell them out to each other for supplies despite fully believing that they intend to kill each other). also, most of the time she is not as silly and impish as people make her out to be- that's mostly the changeling. in the moments when she is herself, clara is pretty depressed.

i also dont like anna angel slander because, is she a child murderer? yeah. was she also abducted as a child herself and found herself in an extremely difficult position at a very early age? also yeah. iirc correctly shes 18 in the game and the ace of diamonds events happened years prior so basically she was a child herself. not that its wrong to criticize child murder because obviously but the way some people speak about her is insane.

also this is completely hc based and of lesser importance than everything else but i have difficulty getting behind anything remotely kinky when it comes to burakhosky because to me they will always be the kind of couple that read in silence next to each other before falling asleep at the late hour of 10:30 pm.

[ateezlovely]

smiling because of you

pairing: choi san x reader (gender-neutral)

genre: fluff, friends to lovers

description: soccer is a great sport, it helped you meet the boy who you want to always be with and two years later he’s finally yours

a/n: sorry i dont know anything about soccer :c was rewatching ateez logbooks and the soccer one inspired me to write this

—

There was only one boy who could make your cheeks red and smile so hard that it hurt, Choi San. Ever since you met him two years ago in the most embarrassing way, you have had the hugest crush growing on him. It was unfortunate timing as you and Kazuha were walking past the soccer field that a ball was accidentally kicked right in your direction. After ending up on the ground with a bleeding nose, Choi San had come running your way apologizing and asking if you were okay.

Even though you had forgiven San and understood it was an accident he still felt guilty and kept trying to make it up to you. This is what led to your friendship and two years later you are both still stuck together.

Once a week or sometimes more after soccer practice you will meet San to study or hangout. Right now you are waiting for him to text you that he is finished with practice and is all cleaned up. It has only been a day since you last saw him but you still miss him and cannot wait to see him again. Before he texts, you decide to head over to your meeting spot and wait for him there.

you: im waiting at our spot

sannie: eager are we?

sannie: ill be out in ten :)

you: shush

The meeting spot is the same place where you got hit in the face and where you and San first met. When San first suggested this be the meeting spot you did not find it amusing but agreed because it was a meaningful spot to you both.

Distracted by your phone you are startled by a loud yell a few feet from you. Mingi and Yunho are giggling as they get closer to you.

“Hey that wasn’t funny! I could’ve had a heart attack from that” you scold them, feeling glad it was just them and San wasn’t with them.

“The most that would’ve happened is you peeing your pants” Mingi teases you and Yunho giggles agreeing with him.

“Yeah whatever, wheres San?”

“Pretty boy is still getting dolled up for you” Yunho winks and you flush but before you could make a comment back, a familiar voice yells out to the three of you.

San comes jogging over with dripping wet hair and wearing grey sweatpants and a black tank that makes your heart flutter. He drapes his arm over your shoulder saying a small hey before accusing Mingi and Yunho of harassing you.

Yunho instantly defends themselves, “they were waiting all by themselves and asked us where you were thats it!”

“Maybe you should spend less time on looking good to impress them!” Mingi snickers and starts walking away with Yunho, leaving San annoyed and you flustered.

“Well how was practice tonight?” you ask to break the tension and slight awkwardness from the comments made by the two boys.

“It was alright, coach is training us hard because we made finals”, a big sigh escapes him and you put your hand on his back to softly rub, “but its okay cause now i get to hangout with you”

You light up and smile at him, “can we please go to the night market, i am so craving that one stands food!”

San playfully disagrees and you plead him all the way to his car when he eventually says that you guys can go only if you buy.

“Yes, of course i’ll buy you anything you want” you agree with no hesitation. This makes San laugh at how determined you are to go to the night market.

An hour later the both of you are sitting by the river with full tummies. You were laying down on the grass staring up at the pink and orange sky while San was sitting next to you. The satisfaction of good food and peaceful atmosphere was almost enough to make you fall asleep.

The silence was broken by San softly speaking your name.

“mhm?”

“I was wondering…if you would want to or if you would like to…” he nervously breathed out, making you prop yourself up on your elbows to look at him, “come to my finals game this weekend?”

You were confused by his nervous demeanor, “of course i will–”

He cut you off, “I mean coming to the game as my date”

This made you stop and look at him wide eyed as you comprehend fully what he jus asked you. For two years you have been waiting for this moment and now that it is here you don’t know what to do. In the romance books the girl always knows what to say so why are the words stuck in your throat right now?

“Obviously you don’t have to it’s up to you and like if you said no, our friendship wouldn’t change at all i promise” San starts to ramble as you continue to sit there staring at him.

“San” you whisper so lightly that he doesn’t even hear you, you speak louder saying “San i’ll go to your game”

This makes him stop rambling and look at you, “really? are you sure?”

Sitting all the way up now you say, “I would really like to go… as your date” feeling shy and not able to look at him your fingers nervously play with the grass by your legs.

“Okay great! That’s really great…” there’s a bashful smile on his face that makes you smile and feel very excited for this weekend.

On Saturday the entire day is spent getting ready and making sure you look perfect for the game later. Since all of San’s friends that you know are also on the team and playing, Kazuha is going with you so you aren’t alone. You are happy to have her by your side to calm you down because you have been a nervous mess since San asked you.

The bleachers are almost full when you arrive but still manage to find seats in the front row. When the game starts and the teams come out you make eye contact with San and he smiles big at you. Feeling embarrassed you wave shyly at him and are thankful that his coach calls for the teams attention. It was Kazuhas idea to write San’s name on one cheek and his number on the other. It was embarrassing but did it because you know he would like it and a part of you likes it too.

The entire game you were on the edge of your seat in anticipation, with the other team leading by only a couple points. It was within the last 15 minutes that they were able to score and get ahead of the other team. On the field you could see San and his friends sweaty and breathing hard from how hard they are working. It made you feel worried knowing how exhausted San was going to be after this.

Both you and Kazuha were bouncing from nervous as the game was coming to an end and the team was still in the lead. The entire team and everyone watching cheered as the game ended and San’s team had won. Including you and Kazuha as you were standing up cheering and giggling at eachother excitedly.

The moment had you distracted that you did not notice a sweaty boy running towards you. It was not until he was right in front of you with the brightest smile and his chest moving fast from his breathing that you saw him.

“San?!”

“I like you, a lot, and I am so happy that you are here and I want to kiss you so bad” he blurted coming so close to you there was barely a breath of air between you, “please can i kiss you?”

This time you knew exactly what to say and there was no pause to stare at him, “kiss me San”

His hands grabbed your face and his lips were instantly on yours, bringing you into the softest but passionate kiss. There were tingles and shivers all over your body and you never wanted the kiss to end. It seems San never wanted it to end either because he didn’t pull away until both of you were almost going to pass out from not breathing.

He rested his forehead on yours and you started giggling at how happy you were.

“What are you giggling about hm?”

You pulled away to give another kiss before telling him, “I just like you so much”

[invertedheaven]

If You Really Love Nothing

chapter 1: easier said than done

chapter index | next chapter

“I fucked up satoru” you said with a mouthful of cereal that you helped yourself to the second you stepped into gojos house because you were finally not nauseous

He looked up at you from over his phone, he never hears you admit you’re wrong in any form so this was interesting to him “hmmm how so?”

“Im pregnant” your heartbeat was so loud in your ears you weren’t even sure you said it loud enough and you refused to look at him to see if he heard you

And while he assumed it was bad he didn’t assume this bad… “do you know whose it is?”

“….sukunas” you squeeze your eyes shut as if it would spare you from the judgement in his eyes

His eyes widen “Didnt you guys break up? Didnt he move away not even like three months ago?”

“He was in town again a few weeks ago… almost two months after we broke up and he found me, we went out to eat and well, it was our last night together I was stupid” you exhale before continuing “but I took plan b as soon as possible the next day I thought it would’ve worked…”

Gojo swallowed before speaking because this is something he’d expect from probably anyone but you “I gotta say, sleeping with him even after he broke up with you a week after your birthday… to each their own I guess”

You feel like you’re about to burst into tears because you know gojos right and you hate that, this could’ve been avoided if you’d just had some pride

Noticing your silence he spoke up again “do you want to keep it?”

And finally the tears started flowing and he immediately regretted asking

You did want to keep it, you had always wanted to be a mother, and you loved sukuna so much you wanted it to be with him, but that felt like a selfish reason to want a baby and yet an even bigger part of you felt like you wanted this baby no matter what but financially you knew it wasn’t possible, and you couldn’t do that to a child.

“I’ll be honest satoru, I do. I really do want to but financially it wouldn’t be feasible and I don’t think its fair to raise a child knowing that and on top of that they wont have both their parents, its an awful experience… I dont want that kind of childhood for my baby” you finally make eye contact with him and he’s staring at you with such pity because he knows your childhood and the pity he’s showing almost makes you mad.

Until you hear footsteps running down the stairs already knowing who it was you wiped the tears from your face before you turn around and smile as brightly as you can “hi gumi, how are you today?” As he comes up to you to give you a hug, satoru rolls his eyes “you’re the only person he ever greets enthusiastically”. You find this hilarious because if you looked at it any other way you’d think megumi was being held at gunpoint to say hi to you, but you suppose even if he’s not smiling just the fact that he’s willingly saying hi with a hug was enough proof.

You laugh before you speak “no need to be so happy about that satoru”

Megumi goes to the fridge to get a snack and then runs back upstairs, you find your stare lingering on the fridge, a picture that gojo definitely forced megumi to take with him hung up on the door with a silly magnet and the smile you were wearing quickly turned to a frown. While gojo watched you closely he came up with what he thought was a genius idea:

“Move in with me” he smiles

You tear your stare away from the fridge and instead look at him with a bewildered look, clearly too shocked to say anything

“Think about it… megumi doesn’t hate you, you could raise the baby without any distractions, and I would love to have just one adult around here if I have to deal with his preteen attitude alone for one more day im gonna lose my mind” he pauses letting the thought sit then continued “the baby wouldn’t grow up in the most conventional house, but it could work megumi needs someone who isn’t me around anyways, he doesn’t seem entirely emotionally adjusted…”

That earns a laugh from you because if gojo was calling someone unadjusted then thats saying something

“I wouldn’t be the stepfather if thats what you’re worried about, im too cool to be a dad I’d be like the fun uncle plus I have my hands full attempting parenting with megumi”

You finally break the silence “financially I can’t do that to you satoru… thats too much and while I want to say yes, it doesn’t seem too thought out either”

“But what is there to think about? you already spend all your time here and face it, all our friends moved away…” and his cheerful attitude quickly changed to something more solemn than you’re used to coming from gojo “I don’t have suguru anymore and you don’t have sukuna, I don’t really like how lonely it feels” he almost mumbles

You never thought you’d see the day where you felt understood by satoru of all people but he was right, it was lonely and sad, you hated it more than anything

He spoke up again “And about the money? Are you choosing to forget that I’m just waiting for my old man to kick the bucket so I can be CEO of the company or is that not important enough to remember?” He says with a smug look that you want to slap off of him “I have more money then I know what to do with right now, so why don’t you let me help you and you can help me too”

He says your name so quietly you almost don’t hear it with how loud your thoughts are and you turn you head slightly to look back at him he has his arm reaching across to you, asking you to shake on it

This seemed too good to be true, something out of a movie or a tv show, this probably wouldn’t end well either and yet you want to say yes more than anything

“Are you sure satoru? Not a lot of guys would be willing to financially support someone else’s kid and their mom” and at that moment megumi came back down the stairs again getting a water bottle instead, now staring at gojos stretched out hand suspiciously before speaking “whatever he’s trying to get you to do, don’t do it” as he went back upstairs you looked back at gojo who had a look on his face that you would say puts the word “annoyed” to shame

“What was that about other peoples kids?” Gojo responded to your earlier question before he was rudely interrupted by megumi

You bite back a smile before reaching over and shaking his hand “fine, but Im working as long as I can before it becomes too much and… thank you satoru”

————

Thats how you find yourself here, three years later washing the dishes from the lunch you had made for you and your daughter, Airi. Satoru had taken her with him to the store, which she loves to do because she’s learned satoru will literally buy her anything she asks for without even asking you, but you guess its okay since this seems like a nice problem to have.

Once you finish the dishes you moved onto wiping the counter before you hear megumi come home, he’s 14 now and you feel so proud of the teen he’s become yes he’s a little temperamental but he’s a good kid nonetheless. You notice there’s another voice you don’t recognize completely forgetting he told you he was bringing his friend by later and as you round the doorway of the kitchen you stop in your tracks because you’re met with a kid who looks a little too much like sukuna and your daughter. Their family genes were too strong with some weird type of blonde that it was basically pink and you’d never seen anyone else with it. The only thing is that yuji had a different face shape and eyes, it felt like you saw a ghost and you’re sure megumi could see it too so he finally spoke up

“This is itadori yuji he’s the friend I mentioned earlier, you said it was okay for him to come by” he still waits for your face to change from one of shock

“Um yeah, no thats fine hello yuji its nice to meet you” you offer a smile and a handshake and you tell him your name

His eyes widen slightly at that but he doesn’t express any thoughts that he knows you otherwise, he thinks the world can’t be that small… right?

He greets you back as well as returning your handshake before they enter the house more and meanwhile you finally snap out of it you run to the kitchen taking your daughters pictures off the fridge and putting them in your pocket before calling megumi over, and yuji follows

Hiding the nerves in your voice you speak up “So! Yuji tell me about yourself, id love to hear more about our megumis friend” to which megumi groans at the question

Yuji laughs at the “our megumi” and he wonders what your relation to megumi is because you’re too young to be his mom yet you look nothing like him so sibling is out of the picture maybe stepmom would be most likely, “well I just moved out here at the beginning of the school year, I used to live a few hours out, but my grandpa recently passed away so im living with my older brother now”

Everything lines up too much and now you’re uncontrollably shaking this kid really shares a lot huh? “Ahhh okay I see, thats nice is he your only sibling?”

“Yeah but its weird he was staying with a family friend to attend school so he lived out here for a few years but almost 4 years ago he came home still didn’t see him much though… but a few months ago he moved back here and well now im stuck with him” yuji says casually like he didn’t just reveal your daughters dad is back and he doesn’t even know she exists

Trying to change the subject you start “I always wondered what it was like to have siblings, I think satoru is the closest I’ll get” before yuji can question who satoru is megumi cuts in “why’d you bring him up we were having a decent conversation” to which you laugh because nothing puts megumi in a worse mood than satoru talk

“Wow fushiguro you said you drew but I didnt think you’d be that bad” as yuji points to one of the drawings airi made on the fridge you didn’t think he’d even notice that and now you’re freaking out trying to think

Megumi starts to speak up “hey, that is not mine thats her-“

You cut him off before he can speak anymore “Its my niece! My bestfriend had a kid and I help babysit her she’s the sweetest” you say staring at megumi hoping he notices the frantic look in your eyes while yuji observes the drawing up close but all he does is stare at you utterly confused as to why you’re clearly lying

Yuji finally responds “ah that explains the toys in the living room” and it makes you very nauseous just thinking about how observant this kid is and he’s so honest about it too…

You clear your throat ���megumi can you help me bring in the stuff I left in my car yesterday? Sorry I was waiting for satoru but if you’re here” you apologize to yuji as you practically pull megumi out the front door and to the drive way

he doesn’t waste a minute in speaking “why did you lie about airi?”

You take a deep breathe before speaking “look, I’m 99% sure that yuujis brother is Airis dad his name is ryomen sukuna… he would mention having a brother named yuji and that he had a sick grandfather. I also know when he was living out here during our last year of high school he wasn’t living with family, the last time I saw him was pretty much 4 years ago before he left again and most importantly sukuna doesn’t know about airi…” you start again before he has the chance to bring it up “they don’t have the same last name because sukuna uses their moms name”

Megumis eyes widen for two reasons, how’d you know he’d ask that? and also because he just assumed Airis dad sucked not that he didn’t even know she existed “why haven’t you told him about her?”

“Its complicated but to put it simply he blocked me on everything, I couldn’t contact him even if I wanted to and that was when I was pregnant so imagine trying to contact him now… and yuji cannot know because he’ll tell sukuna or he’ll have to hide it which is even worse” you put your face in your hands trying to keep the tears in

Although megumi doesn’t understand why you don’t just tell sukuna he finds its not his business, he also respects you too much to question you and although he probably wouldn’t say it out loud he loved airi and considered her as his sister so if it meant helping you out he’d keep his mouth shut “okay, I understand, yuji can’t find out” and against his will you pull him into a hug and thanked him a million times

He headed back inside and the second the door shut you pulled out your phone to call satoru, after what felt like forever he finally picked up the phone but you’re instead met with your daughters voice “hi mommy!!!” And for a second you forget the reason you’re calling wondering how she knew it was you “hi my baby, can you please put ‘toru on the phone?” she doesn’t respond but you can hear her tell satoru you want to talk to him

And the next voice you hear is the man you hope has a solution “Hello?”

“Satoru, i have a problem”

next chapter