#I donno why I’m posting this just now

[laxi0v0]

He’s coming for your ass

[a-magical-evening]

I was thinking about my ask about Matt and Trey hugging and it kinda does seem like Matt is deliberately avoiding hugging Trey. This is just a guess, I don't really have any info to support this hypothesis. But maybe Trey doesn't like hugging people in general?? Has he hugged someone else before?? I really don't know.

There's a huge chance I'm wrong but maybe Trey doesn't like being hugged so Matt is just respecting his personal space?? It would honestly give more context why Matt gave Trey an air hug instead of walking up to him and hugging him. The hug from Baseketball could be an exception and just him acting. But in social situations he doesn't like it.

I donno do you think this theory has any truth to it?

Ooh, hello again 😊 That’s an interesting theory, and it’s had me pondering all morning! (No worries RE: guessing, providing evidence. It’s fun to think about these things, and look for patterns, especially when we recognise that it’s all speculation.)

First, I’m not sure if Matt’s deliberately avoiding hugging Trey, though I must admit it does appear that way, and if the reason is he’s respecting Trey’s boundaries, I’m totally on board with that. However, there may not have been many opportunities for a genuine hug between them to be captured on film.

A few things come to mind that might contribute to not having visuals of M&T hugs:

Men often aren’t huggers 🤷‍♀️ That could be a sweeping statement, skewed through my cultural lens as a Brit, but at least in my experience, guys don’t hug that much.

The times we get to see M&T are often red carpets, appearances, interviews, documentaries, etc., and those aren’t really conducive to hugging. They wouldn’t hug in greeting, for example, if they’d already hung out backstage or spent the whole day together already. Those types of hugs all probably occur “off camera.”

We’ve got pics of them (most likely) drunk hugging/grabbing each other, so it’s not something they won’t do, but that could further support that hugging doesn’t really come up that often for them in their public appearances.

That being said, other forms of physical touch don’t seem to be off the table for them. As I mentioned in the hug post, they often rest their head on or put their arms around each other, which might contradict the theory that Trey doesn't like being touched.

Related: @behind-the-blow pointed out a moment (that I can't find right now, argh!!) in which Matt touches Trey’s arm as they’re walking onstage to accept an award. It might've been awkward if they’d walked up there and just hugged each other, but Matt's touch conveyed so much while also taking into account that they’re stood before a massive audience.

I feel it’s worth considering too how M&T get physically close with others (besides their partners and children, where hugs are probably a given.) John Stamos immediately comes to mind! I know next to nothing about this man, but he seems to exhibit some sort of gravitational pull that makes Matt and Trey more open to physical proximity. Perhaps that’s just how John is, so it rubs off on those around him. That gives weight to your theory that Trey might not like hugging in general, if it takes someone who's openly tactile to get him into that mindset.

I mean, look at this guy’s power!

There’s also this lovely pic of Trey with Andrew Rannells that lives in my head rent free.

It reminds me so much of how Trey cuddles up to Matt in some pictures. It’s physically quite intimate, but again, perhaps not as much as a hug is.

Again, I’ve rambled on 😅, but I definitely think there could be truth in your theory. I could also believe Matt isn’t into hugging, Trey isn’t, or neither of them are, or it's simply not something they’re comfortable doing in public, or it just doesn't come up very often. Either way, it'd make my life if we did get footage of them hugging!!! I've got my fingers crossed we'll get something like that in the upcoming Casa Bonita documentary!! 🕯️🕯️🕯️

[nyakuroji]

Prompt requests I see +v+

Hm... FumiIyo go to the movies.

ok i still dont know how to write romance so bare with me here lol, also posting this to my drabbles fic

“Well it looks like we’re done with work for today.” Iyozane said, it had been a rather busy day at Fumikado’s office. 

“Augh, finally! Who knew running for office would take so much work anyways?” Fumikado said with a rather dramatic tone.

“What’d ya think you were getting into anyways?” Tsugumi sarcastically replied.

“I didn’t think it’d take this much paperwork.” Fumikado said.

“Why don’t we do something fun then?” Iyozane suggested, “It is a bit late but I’m sure we can think of something.”

“Hmm, maybe go to that restaurant downtown?” Fumikado suggested.

“I donno, I’m not really hungry.” Tsugumi said, “Unless you two are?”

“Mm, no I’m not actually hungry now that I think about it.” Fumikado replied.

“Wait, if you’re not hungry then why did you even suggest it?” Iyozane asked. “Oh whatever, what about a movie or something? I don’t know what they have at the theater but I’m sure they’ll have something interesting playing.”

“I don’t see why not.” Tsugumi said.

“Well it’s settled then, we're going to the movies!” Fumikado said cheerfully.

They were in the theater lobby looking at the list of movies they were going to play, there weren’t many movies playing at this hour of night, however.

“Hmm, what do you think about ‘Horror of the BatWolf’?” Iyozane asked. 

“It’s probably some old cheesy horror movie, I mean it has horror in that name!” Fumikado said.

“Well no duh it’s a horror movie, but it’s probably better than whatever ‘Spacetime Shenanigans’ is.” Tsugumi said, “Actually look at the time on that it looks like it's five hours long? How do you even make a movie that long?”

“Oh damn you’re right. Well, I guess you never know what’ll happen when it comes to movies.” Iyozane said.

“Guys the batwolf movie starts in like ten minutes, let's get our tickets already!” Fumikado urged them to get a move on. 

It didn’t take long for the movie to start playing once they got to their seats, there weren’t many people there as to be expected for a movie playing this late. Even though they were cutting it close already they did want to get some popcorn before the movie started. Iyozane was tasked with being the popcorn holder as they had sat in between Fumikado and Tsugumi. The movie finally began, and it certainly wasn’t what they expected. The first half of the movie was your run of the mill monster movie, there was a werewolf and a vampire tormenting the cast of run of the mill horror movie teens. But the second half of the movie is where things got interesting, the one remaining teen started to have some sort of romantic tension between both the werewolf and the vampire at different points in the movie. 

“What the hell is going on?” Fumikado whispered to Iyozane.

“Honestly, I have no idea.” Iyozane chuckled. Tsugumi had taken the bag of popcorn at this point and wasn’t sharing any of it but the other two either didn’t notice or were so engrossed in the movie that they didn’t care.

At the end of the movie right as it seemed like the protagonist was going to have to decide between the werewolf and the vampire it’s revealed that the two monsters were actually one in the same! Who could have guessed this twist?

“What ‘n tarnation is going on in this movie?” Tsugumi said bewilderedly.

“They were the same person-monster-thing the whole time??” Fumikado said sharing the same sentiment as Tsugumi.

“Why did they get together anyways?” Iyozane asked the only reasonable question at this point.

The three of them left the theater way more confused than they could have anticipated. Fumikado and Iyozane looked at each other and just started laughing at the absurdity of the movie they’d just watched.

“I mean, hehe, if you wanted, keheheh, I could be your bat-wolf-monster thing.” Fumikado said.

“No...” Tsugumi didn’t like where this was heading.

“Oh sure, eheh, as long as you-” Iyozane was cut off.

“Oh, no no no, I am not dealin’ with you two.” Tsugumi said before they left.

The two of them weren’t really sure what to say next. 

Fumikado was the first to speak up, “So uhh, you wanna go to my place or..?”

“Sure, you know I’d love to.” 

“Great!” The two of them left after that and continued the night at Fumikado’s house.

[olivethetreebitch]

Do I want this au to exist in fic form? Yes, do I have ANY motivation to do it? Absolutely the fuck not! So! Here is the GX section of my currant running Yugioh!au

I’ll probably post about the general au later but for now here:

1. Time travel fic, takes place after Bonds Beyond Time, so Judai knows Yugi (not Atem, they really didn’t do anything in the movie so ehhh I think they really didn’t interact), and Yusei, they exist. Well that’s not the main point, the point is that Yubel and him are soul linked/merged/whatever the hell happened. The story would start with Judai getting sent back in time (wether it be Crimson Dragon or another beings bullshit) to his younger body. But his soul is still merged and he has all his memories.

So before Judai and Yubel were separated and Judai went through the shock therapy, he ran away with the help of Yubel. Age like…5? 6? I don’t remember the canon age. Sue me.

2. Was transported to an interdimentional (donno if I spelled that right I’m tired) bubble thing that Atem exists in (Thank Kiba, the bastard wouldn’t let Atem sleep so he(Atem) made a pocket bubble so he didn’t have to deal with a time loop every day, basically splitting themself from the outside world. He just wants some peace damnit), basically gets adopted by Atem. (Not Yugi, during this Yugi is living his best life and won’t become a full prominent figure until after the Bonds Beyond Time arc. (Yes he does leave the bubble a few years before Duel Academy, they need some socialization)

3. Judai and Yubel learn how to coexist and have a sibling relationship (SUE ME ITS CUTE. I JUST WANT THEM TO BE GAY AND HAPPY.) With communication and planing for the bullshit that is Duel Academy, because they’re getting in because the universe wouldn’t let them off the hook. Also they both get therapy, it helps, Judai i would characterize as sort of back to his S1/2 self, fun, happy, outgoing, but is still mature and realistic when need be also terrifyingly good at reading people. Yubel takes a fucking chill pill (Thank Ra) we love them but they were a lot in the beginning. I would say Yubel has this sort of Older sibling relationship with Judai, which he needed. They learn why friendships are so important to Judai and they learn to coexist in a healthy way.

4. Basically a GX rewrite (Goodbye Chumly you were a good stand in character but Blare makes for better writing, you will be a side character later probably) but with Judai+Yubel team up, they manipulate the outcome to certain events like they leave Manjoume to go to the other school because he’ll meat the Ojama’s and have character development. But will stomp the Society of light into smitherines before it even gets to the island. Judai also bonds with his Hero deck again in a fresh way (he did not have the deck on him when he time traveled)

5. Judai goes under an alias, I know that people might not like me for this but I think both Judai and Yubel would agree to use the name Judai for other purposes (names have power, people could track him by the name, eta eta) so when he enters the human realm from Atem’s soul bubble thing they go under the name Jaden Yuki instead of his actual name Judai Muto (Atem adopted him and basically has the Muto last name so [shrugs] makes Yugi’s life easier later anyways)

6. Will Jaden tell any of his friends about him? Absolutely not! Does he tell the professors? Nope! Does Pharaoh love him on sight? Of course!

I think most people would be unnerved by how well they immediately they got along. 

And the way Jaden already knows the island like the back of their hand (he makes a big show of looking around the island but it’s ingrained into them to just exist there)

Does he become a Cryptid? …..slightly. Maybe. Yes? I don’t think he ment to but

✨What can ya do✨

I want this fic to exist, like it spans season 1, because idk how to deal with Johan, and idk if Judai’s ready for that yet (we’re they together in the og timeline? Yes. It didn’t go well. [stares at Yubel], but they made it work.)

Extra notes:

Judai/Yubel Powers:

Shapeshifting into human, Demon (normal Yubel), and Dragon forms (only ever done once and needs all currant Yugioh protags to unlock, not really a plot point)

Going invisible Duel spirit style

Basically being a Duel spirit

Judai can leave his body as a spirit and go do shit (I don’t think anybody wants the laying there (probably dead) body to inhabit Judai has rabies and/or some kind of lock on his body. It’s so connected to their spirit that it wouldn’t fit anything else.)

Can see through magic, can find its source, eta.

LAZER BEAMS. OUT OF THEIR HANDS. THIS IS JUST SOMETHING TO BE COOL.

Sonic speed, strength, reflexes, mans doesn’t subscribe by the laws of physics. Also they a bendy mother fucker, folds like origami.

Glowing multicolored eyes.

Can make illusions, not crazy like cover the school, but enough to get them out of sticky situations.

Basically if the plot permits it, chaos can be made, and who am I to say if it cannot happen?

Pronouns for the peeps:

Judai: He/They

Yubel: They/Them

Atem: He/They

Yugi: He/Him

Seto: He/Him

Everyone else has their normal pronouns but feel free to change them, I have not made concrete decisions on them, working on the protags first on that one.

Atem and Yugi are originally from Season 0, but they also time traveled and experienced Duel Monsters. Hence the Season 0 tag

If someone makes this fic/Art/just interacts my day would be made holy shit. I can’t be the only one with GX brain rot.

[blacktofade]

pls oh god of fics pls grant thee touch starved Shane and oblivious Ryan in shyan ship *bows down* (i sent one before and donno if u actually got it cuz it showed error so im sending in another try)

I didn’t get your other ask unfortunately, but this is an idea I’ve been wanting to write like 10k for, but I know I’ll never have the energy. So it’s a little ficlet instead.

CW: Includes post-kidnapping, malnutrition, and an embarrassing lack of touching for a touch-starved prompt.

*

Shane disappears on September 17th. Ryan only remembers because they’d been scheduled to shoot an episode of Weird and/or Wonderful World and he’d had to eventually make the uncomfortable call to the Los Angeles County Arboretum and Botanic Garden to cancel their tour and interview.

It had been funny at first with Shane’s habitual lateness. They’d all assumed he’d slept late, forgot what day it was, and completely blanked on the filming schedule.

It’s less funny a week later when a missing person’s report is filed and Shane’s parents fly out to stay with Scott while they wait for any kind of news.

Detective Flores finds him two states over, a month and a half later. There are six hostages in total, as part of some elaborate heist that’s foiled before it comes to fruition. Shane’s kept in hospital for almost a full week, treated for malnutrition and a few general injuries, the news passed to Ryan through Scott via a DM on Instagram.

For the first time since Shane’s disappearance, Ryan sleeps through the whole night.

On the Saturday following Shane’s return, Ryan wakes to a phone call at eight in the morning.

“Hello?” he answers, voice rough from sleep, brain barely online.

“I’m sorry,” Shane apologizes, but his voice alone is enough to wake up Ryan the rest of the way. It’s the first he’s heard from him. He’d been trying to give the family space and knew Shane would find him once he was ready. Apparently, now is that time. “Can you come pick me up?”

“Sure,” Ryan agrees instantly, shoving back the covers and getting out of bed. “Where are you?”

“My apartment,” Shane admits and Ryan pauses from where he’s trying to dig out a pair of clean pants. “I just need a break.”

“Sure,” Ryan repeats. “I’ll be there in twenty.”

It’s quiet on the other end of the line before, quietly, Shane says, “Thanks, Ryan.”

*

Shane’s waiting at the curb when Ryan pulls up.

Ryan unlocks the door and watches Shane fold himself into his seat, waiting a moment for Shane to settle before reaching over to set a hand on his knee, squeezing gently.

“Hey man,” he says gently. “Long time no see.”

Shane startles at the touch, but glances over, offering a small smile in return.

He looks different. His face is thinner, his cheekbones a little more prominent, and there’s a new scar on the right side of his forehead that disappears into his hairline.

“Hey,” Shane replies, buckling his seatbelt and giving Ryan a view of his right hand, which has two fingers splinted together. “Thanks for coming.”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

Ryan stares at him incredulously and eventually Shane looks away, out the passenger side window.

“It’s just hard being surrounded by everyone right now,” he says, clearly talking about his family. “I need a break.”

Ryan checks over his shoulder and pulls back onto the road.

“Is my apartment okay? Or did you want to go somewhere else?”

“Your place is fine,” Shane tells him, and from the corner of his eye, Ryan sees him turn his head, staring as though Ryan won’t notice.

At the next red light, Ryan glances over. “How are you doing?”

Shane looks away, clearly caught. “Getting tired of people asking me that. It’s all anyone asks these days.”

“Guess they just want to know you’re okay.”

Shane glances back towards him. “Could be better,” he says bluntly and Ryan can’t help but let out a quiet huff of laughter.

“Yeah, no shit. But the hospital cleared you?”

“Yeah,” Shane sighs. “Apart from a few broken fingers and some weight loss, I’m okay.”

“I missed you,” Ryan admits. “It’s probably the longest I’ve gone without seeing you since we started at BuzzFeed.”

Shane frowns like he’s thinking and then the frown deepens. “Jesus, you might be right.”

Ryan laughs again. “Horrifying thought, huh?”

“Puts things in perspective.”

“Didn’t you miss me?” Ryan asks jokingly, but Shane doesn’t answer, just laughs quietly.

“It’s weird,” Shane says. “I was never alone, but it feels like I have to relearn how to be around people now.”

Ryan had read the news after Shane’s rescue. There had been five others saved alongside Shane, so he suspects they might be the reason Shane wasn’t alone.

Ryan shrugs gently. “Adjusting is hard, and I’m sure it’s even harder with your family refusing to let you out of their sights.”

Shane shakes his head. “You have no idea. I was in the shower for twenty minutes this morning and they started knocking on the door to see if I was still alive.”

“Rough,” Ryan laments. “Well, you’re welcome to chill at my place for as long as you need.”

“Can I move in?” Shane jokes, but Ryan just shrugs.

“If that’s what you want.”

It’s silent for a moment before Shane says, “Thanks, I appreciate it.”

Ryan offers him a smile. “Of course, dude. It’s what I’m here for.”

It’s quiet for the rest of the drive until Ryan pulls into his usual parking spot and glances over. “You good?

Shane nods and carefully unbuckles his seatbelt. “Yeah, I’ve got it.”

Ryan’s chest tightens watching Shane limp his way towards the front door, but he knows the last thing Shane needs is more helicoptering.

“Can I get you anything?” Ryan asks as he shuts the door behind them, watching Shane glance around as though he expects Ryan to have redecorated during his disappearance, but ultimately Shane shakes his head. “Okay, well, make yourself at home. You know the drill. I’m gonna go grab a drink.”

He knows Shane can find his own way to the living room, so he moves around him, heading in the direction of the kitchen instead.

“Ryan?” Shane questions and Ryan pauses, turning back.

“Yeah?”

Shane hesitates like he doesn’t know how to get the words out, but after a moment, he takes two steps closer and draws Ryan into a hug instead.

Ryan isn’t entirely expecting it. Shane’s not a touchy-feely guy, which means Ryan can probably count on one hand the amount of times they’ve hugged. But Shane folds around him so tightly that it startles the breath right out of him.

“I did miss you,” Shane mutters and Ryan lifts his hands to reciprocate, holding Shane as hard as he dares when everything feels so fragile.

“I was really worried,” Ryan admits. “I thought you’d been killed.”

He finds himself rubbing one hand along Shane’s spine, trying to soothe him as Shane tucks his face against his shoulder.

“You were gone for a long time,” Ryan continues.

He can feel the warmth of Shane’s breath through his shirt as he exhales shakily. “They broke my fingers when I tried to escape.”

Ryan holds him tighter, needing them both to understand that Shane’s safe again. Having the weight of Shane leaning against him is grounding in a way he never knew it could be. About a month into Shane’s disappearance, Ryan had gone through a mourning period, assuming he’d never see Shane again. He finds tears prickling his eyes as the relief hits him solidly in the chest.

“God, Shane,” he murmurs and he’s not sure who’s comforting who.

The warmth of Shane spreads through him, all the way down to his toes, like a cup of hot soup on a cold day. Except that Ryan never realized he was too cold until this moment. He feels alive and whole again, and he knows he can’t even begin to understand what Shane experienced. The fact that he can feel every ridge of Shane’s spine as his hand passes along it says enough.

When he finally starts feeling like Shane’s probably ready to let go, he loosens his arms and shifts, one foot lifting to take a step backwards.

“Just a little longer,” Shane requests and Ryan’s more than happy to comply, a noise of agreement escaping as he nods.

“I’ll stay here as long as you need,” Ryan tells him. “It’s just good to have you back.”

“It’s good to be back,” Shane replies and tightens his grip again like he might never let go.

To be honest, Ryan’s okay with that. He holds on just as tightly and settles against Shane, finally feeling happy again for the first time in months.

[tellmethisisnottumblisnextfuckup]

i have so many questions is this really you is there a masterpost what happened how are you

Hi yes it’s me. Anyone can say that so just blv me it’s indeed me. Look for clues like my style or my tagging.

What happened? Got an email on 11th of Nov that my blog has been terminated and i should respect the community guidelines. I guess that’s the template they use for everyone.

There were around 40 tickets opened by me and my close friends(and i know others reached out to support too) and still no one gave me an explanation why. The timing was ridiculous, i was super quiet because i was waking and sleeping w CNN due to the elections and I barely made content. All i did was reblogs and answering occasional asks. None triggers account deletion.

So here’s what I think happened: someone or a group of someone was very annoyed by the bg discourse getting more and more ppl open their eyes and they reported my blog on false claims. Let me tell ya that it can only be antis because if it had been offensive then the posts would’ve been marked as offensive back in 2016 when I made them. There’s some bs theory that it was the boys’ teams but again let me tell ya: those posts aren’t unique, tumblr larries are smart and opinionated and documented well that fakenancy. If his team had wanted to shut it down, they would’ve done it years ago.

Let me real quickly add that none of my content was ever derogatory towards beards, B or F. I do know that some ants and rads were pissed. I just didn’t expect this fucking platform not giving a chance to explain. They should’ve allowed me to choose if I delete the post or live with the consequences of a termination. 8 year long blogging vs 1 false claim. Should defend their blogger!! Support sucks and I really hope that karma reaches the people who played role in the termination, because it was an innocent blog. It survived the pap pic deletion, survived the porn blog deletion, so there was nothing with the content which didn’t fit the guidelines.

So I was gone for 1.5 months, with mixed feelings about blogging and altogether about this toxic platform (antis). I understood that my presence is important, I’m not only masterposts but a human behind them too, and it was a warm feeling that the fandom wanted me back, wanted Gabi back, not just the archive.

I donno what my role here is anymore. I feel like an unemployed librarian, whose library was stolen. We’ll see. I have backup of all of my mp’s. I’ll see if I’ll post them again.

Now, I’m just here for the boys, for the fandom. We’ll see how that shapes up in the longer future.

[amelia201]

Skk University AU where they all are professors FIC IDEA

I donno why but I’ve been obsessed with this idea for the past few days, and if it hasn’t been done before, I’m gonna write it (I might even if it has, but like, I wanna read something too!)

Kunikida is definitely teaching Math. Yosano - anatomy or biology or something. Soseki is the Dean, (I’ll come up with roles for Mori and Fukuzawa when I have more than 5 minutes to type this post up).

Atsushi is Akutagawa are still getting their PhDs in... I donno what, some literature stuff too, I haven’t decided.

Dazai is a cursed professor of literature. Chuuya teaches poetry. And they HAAAATE each other, mainly because Dazai thinks that his discipline is somehow superior to Chuuya’s, saying “but poetry is part of Literature, chibi!” They also were at grad school together, and they have their PHD’s from the same school, too.  And they disagree on something in academia, like something stupid like “was there really a Shakespeare” or, “did Silvia Plath really mean to kill herself” I donno, I need to think about this more but fret not I actually have a degree in this hot trash (aka English lit). Maybe both Chuuya and Dazai have been publishing academic papers for years now with opposing opinions, and when they go to conferences, it’s a bit of a showdown, and everybody goes just to see them argue at this point.

Like, Dazai prepares in advance to confront Chuuya about his findings DURING Chuuya’s presentations (like always). Chuuya does the same, of course, he can’t let his rival get the better of him. And then, AND THEN MUAHAHA MAYBE THEY GET DRUNK IN A HOTEL BAR DURING ONE OF THOSE CONFERENCES and then ... things happen, and in the morning they realize they have feelings for each other, but obviously Chuuya or Dazai or both run away, but THEY STILL HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER  MUAHAHA OMG THIS IS GONNA BE SO GREAT NOW PLEASE TELL ME SOMEBODY ALREADY WROTE IT I NEED IT I DON’T WANNA PUT IT IN THE WORK!

I will though. Fucking hell. cursed shipper brain.

Is this self indulgent? Yes. It better be. 

I’mma use all the cliché tropes and hope the plot falls out or smth

[modern-inheritance]

Modern Inheritance: The Promise

(A/N: Way way WAAAAY Pre-Eragon. It’s rough and a majority of it was lurking in my drive folder for weeks. I wanted MIC!Brom and MIC!Arya interacting alone (aka without Izzy hovering and smothering Arya’s personality) together for the first time. The ending is shit and makes no sense, but I literally just wrote it and I’m having a hard time switching off the Japanese sentence structures (Japanese Sub-Obj-Verb vs English SVO) and whatnot and it’s just…a to-be-cleaned-later mess. But y’all gettin’ it anyway!!

Oh, also. I wanted Post-Fall Brom to be an angry jackass. Donno if that came across enough.)

{Secondary A/N: Ever go back read your stuff and thing ‘damn that feels clunky?’ Posting all these to the new side blog has me really thinking that way too often. As I’m literally doing this as a way to avoid an end of semester presentation project, I don’t have time to rewrite at the moment, but maybe one day....} 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You’re leaving already?”

Brom’s head snapped back, eyes narrowed as he searched the trees for the source of the voice. So the person– or thing, as you could never be sure in the heart of Du Weldonvarden– that had been following him for the past week was finally ready to reveal itself.

Keen as he was, the Rider couldn’t pick out his second shadow from the mottled greens and browns above. They seemed content for him to answer before speaking again.

No way around it then. Brom shifted his pack on his shoulders, and dropped a hand to the pommel of his borrowed sword. His pistol and rifle were dismantled in their cases tied to his backpack, a precaution Oromis and Glaedr had insisted on ever since their former student nearly attacked Rhunön more than a decade ago. “I have things to do.”

“Well, yeah.” There was the scuff of dried outer bark crackling as it was compressed. Brom whirled to the sound, blade halfway out of its sheath before he stayed his hand, now more annoyed than ever. “But it’s not like you’re finished here, are you?”

Crouched upside down with her bare feet planted on the bottom of a pine branch and fingertips digging into the bark, was an elf. She cocked her head at him, dark hair waving as she observed his nearly threatening stance and foot of naked steel that was still exposed at his side.

And she gave him a sly smirk.

“Are you going to draw on me, ebrithil shur’tugal?”

Brom felt his blood pressure jolt up several levels. “What do you want? Either say your piece or go away. I don’t have time for this.” He slammed his sword back into the sheath, locking the hilt in place.

“Fine, fine.” The elf let go of the branch and twisted in the air, landing deftly on her feet. “I wanted to talk to you but couldn’t with everyone else around.”

He wanted to say that the time for talk was over. That he was done playing politics in this damned forest and he was going to back to fix the problems the elves had abandoned when they retreated there.

But his voice died in his throat as the elf came closer. No, not a full grown elf. An elfling, a child. He could see the faint silver of her skin now that she was not haloed by the dappled sunlight dripping down the tree.  

She bowed slightly, hand twisted over her heart in the elvish greeting before straightening and hesitantly held out her hand, almost appearing unfamiliar with the second gesture. “Stars watch over you. I’m–”

“Oh, I know exactly who you are, girl.” Brom ignored the offered hand and stepped around the elfling. Now that she was on the ground, she didn’t even reach his shoulder. “Does your mother know you’re here?”

There was a sudden snap in the air. Brom felt the hair on the back of his neck rise but refused to turn as the girl jogged to his side, obviously piqued. So she was still young enough to be bleeding uncontrolled magic into the world. “I was going to say, I’m Arya and my mother is not me and does not get to introduce me.” There was venom in her tone, something that the Rider had honestly not expected. What he had seen of Arya before was only a glimpse, usually several strides behind the Queen and watching the goings on quietly with wide, dark eyes. “And I want to talk to you.”

“Go home.”

“No. I’m not letting you leave without talking to me.”

“We’ve talked. A conversation with several back and forth utterances has taken place. You can go.”

“Master Glaedr was right about you. Look, just take me with you.”

Brom stopped. Now that was something he had not expected. The request, that is, not the comment about Glaedr. He turned slightly, one eyebrow raised in question. “What?”

“You heard me.” Arya crossed her arms, firmed her stance and glared at him with brilliant fire in her dark green eyes. “Take me with you.”

For a moment, Brom saw Evandar again. The elvish king’s rage at Galbatorix’s mindless slaughter of the dragons and innocents was something that was not easily forgotten.

For the briefest flicker of time, Brom saw that rage again, barely contained within the small, half grown elfling planted defiantly before him. It was simmering just beneath the surface, threaded through with the innate defiance of youth and stubbornness that all but screamed Islanzadi’s name.

There was conviction there as well. That, it seemed, was Arya’s claim alone.

He turned to face her fully. “You want to go out there and fight?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m sick of hearing about people dying.” Despite having to tilt her head back to keep steady eye contact with the Rider, Arya stepped forward into Brom’s personal space. “It’s time someone in this forest did something to fix the problems we brought about instead of moaning about the how Golden Age is gone while people out there die! So make no mistake, ebrithil shur’tugal. I’m going to help you stop this war so that no one else has to die for it.

“I’m going to help kill the Forsworn and Galbatorix, and help to end this war.”

Unlike any other who could have heard them, Brom did not laugh at the young elf’s words. He searched her face, letting the ring of the bond in her last statement, forged in her switch the Ancient Language, cool in the air. In all that time Arya did not flinch. She did not back down nor show any flicker of doubt on her face or in her eyes.

The elfing still did not move when Brom nodded slowly and rubbed at the stubble that patched his face. “Alright then. Seeing as how you just royally screwed yourself at…what, eight years old?”

Another snap of static flicked the air, this time pinging Brom on the neck as Arya’s eyes flashed. “I’m twelve.”

“Right, right. Royally screwed yourself and your entire life by magically forcing yourself to join a war and probably get yourself killed, then fine.” Brom put his finger up to halt the growing excitement he could see rising in the little elf. “But. Not now. Give it a few years. Ten, maybe twenty or so…and I’ll see if you’re ready to start working on your promise.”

The near feral grin that split Arya’s face startled him. This was something he had not seen before in Islanzadi nor Evandar. The wild, vibrant spirit waiting to be unleashed on the world was all Arya’s own. He shook hands with the elfling to seal their agreement.

“Tell the Forsworn I’m coming for them, yeah?”

Brom grinned despite himself. He knew that the girl had likely signed her own death warrant this day. But something about that half crazed smile she wore told him otherwise.

[heartsywritesthethings]

Pick both

Movie Night leading up to Decision

“Why can’t I sit with both of you?” You ask, looking between the two demon brothers. Asmodeus opens his mouth to argue with you, but you nudge him. You can already hear his degrading comment about Mammon, but you won’t allow it to leave his lips. Honestly, Mammon deserves better. 

With your free hand, you pat a small spot next to you for him to sit. Mammon hesitates for a moment before squeezing into the space between you and the armrest.

“See? This is perfectly fine. Now I don’t have to worry about being cold during the movie!” You say, trying to keep things positive while the brothers glare daggers at each other. 

“Looks like someone is popular.” Satan comments as he walks into the room with Levi being pulled in by his ear. 

“Ow. Ow. Owwwww. Make him stop! I don’t want to watch the movie if it’s not one of the Seven Lords!” Levi whines, but his cries land on deaf ears. 

“I just wanted some extra company. There’s plenty of room on the couch for the three of us anyways.” You say, shrugging a little bit and settling back into the couch against both of the brothers. Both of the grumble something under their breath, but you elbow them both.

“I’m guessing Mammon didn’t want someone else touching his prized human.” Levi says, rubbing his ear as Satan lets go of him.

“H-Hey! I just didn’t want them boning in the middle of the movie! It would be so gross!” Mammon says, his cheeks flushing slightly. How cute.

“Sure. ” Levi says, absolutely not believing him even though it is completely possible. He turns to you. “Just let me know if they start fighting so I can blog about it. For some reason, my fans really like hearing about my dysfunctional family along with my amazing commentary about manga.”

“They won’t be fighting. Thanks anyways, Levi.” You say with a shake of your head. Although they don’t have the best track record with keeping the peace, you will do your best to make it through this movie. Beelzebub walks in with six bowls balanced on his arms.

“Hey, Beelz! Any popcorn for us?” You ask, and everyone looks at you like you’re crazy. This is Beelzebub, the Avatar of Gluttony, he won’t share his food–

“Oh. For you, yeah.” He says and hands you a bowl.

–with anyone except you. You let him have your dessert for a few nights and he seems to think that means he owes you his life. That’s fine though, you were really craving popcorn anyways. Mammon’s bottom jaw drops as he watches you take a piece of popcorn and pop it into your mouth.

“Uh…how about for me?” Mammon asks, looking up at his brother. Beelz just snorts and sits down on the loveseat by the couch, arranging the bowls on the cushion next to him for easy access. Levi snaps a picture of you with the popcorn bowl and then a picture of Beelzebub.

“This is historical. Beelzebub just shared his food, everyone mark your calendars. Sent.” Levi reads before posting his new update. He sits down in front of the coffee table, face still glued to his phone screen. 

“Alright, since we’re all here now, I hope we can all enjoy this movie sent to us by the Celestial Realm. The Chihuahua himself sent us this for us to watch and I think it would be rude to turn him down. ” Lucifer says, turning off the lights and turning on the movie. 

“Yeah, we wouldn’t want him tripping over his tail as he cries home to Simeon.” Mammon jokes. 

“This is called Christopher Robin, apparently a human saw Luke in the Human realm and mistook him for a toy bear.” Lucifer says as the movie begins.

“A bear? Not a dog?” Mammon asks and then looks at you. “You humans are weird.”

With that last statement, he pokes you in the side, causing you to jump towards Asmodeus. You hope that Mammon doesn’t put two and two together, but that evil grin on his face makes that hope die out pretty fast. Arms tighten around you and you glance up to see Asmodeus with the same devilish grin on his face as well. It seems that whatever argument they had before is gone and forgotten. As the Disney logo flashed across the screen, Mammon grabs your legs and swings them into his lap while Asmodeus takes firm hold of your wrists in one hand.. You’re about to comment to Asmodeus that he must have a lot of practice holding people down when Mammon slides a manicured finger up your left foot. Your giggle is only muffled by Asmodeus’ other hand which clamps over your mouth. 

Your eyes widen and you look up at Asmodeus. He catches your gaze and leans down.

“You’d better be quiet, human. Just because we have a pact with you doesn’t mean we have to show mercy.” Asmodeus whispers before planting a soft kiss on your forehead. Your eyes then dart to Mammon since begging to Asmodeus was a lost cause. You shake your head, but he just shrugs and starts to scribble his fingers across your bare feet.

You try to kick and squirm away from them, but their hold is firm and you know you aren’t going anywhere. It makes it worse that they both seem to also watch the movie while they torment you. Mammon regularly switches from harsh scribbles to light delicate tickles, both driving you equally crazy. It is only by pure miracle that you aren’t cackling up a storm with how much this tickles. Well, that and the hand clamped over your mouth to keep you quiet. 

“I want a turn,” Asmodeus whispers to his brother and finally the ticklish torment on your feet stops and the hand is removed from your mouth. You take quick gasping breaths, a little dizzy from the lack of air that was allowed in your human lungs. You hardly even register that the two demon brothers are just waiting for you to catch your breath before they can pounce again. 

“Don’t laugh” Asmodeus says to you before they both begin their assault. This time, there are four hands assaulting you. Mammon went for your sides and stomach, fingers scribbling wildly over your skin while Asmodeus uses his position to tickle under your arms. Honestly, his request was just too much to ask.

“AHAHAHAH! Wait! Wait STOP! STOHOHOHOHOP! PLEHEHEHEASE!” You laugh, flailing wildly under the ticklish assault. The lights get flipped back on, but the two brothers do not even slow.

“What is going on here?” Lucifer asks, watching from where he stood with his finger still resting on the light switch.

“MAHAHAHAKE THEM STOP! PLEHEHEHEASE! EEK!” You beg, squeaking as Mammon’s fingers drift over your belly button. 

“Humans are so incredibly sensitive. We were just having some fun.” Asmodeus says, his fingers flittering over your neck and your ears, making you squeal and scrunch up against him.

“Did you try her feet already?” Satan asks calmly from the loveseat, just watching, not at all helping.

“SAHTAN! PLEASE! AH NO!” You shriek. Mammon puts his index finger in your navel, making you screech and buck up against him.

“Wow, she’s worse than you, Mammon.” Lucifer says, and you swear you can see just the hint of a smile on his face. You can’t really get a good look since you’re in ticklish hell.

“I can look up some techniques so you guys don’t accidentally kill her.” Levi said, oh so helpfully from the floor. Was he taking pictures of this?!

“Just feel lucky that Beelz isn’t joining the fun.” Satan scoffs, shivering at just the thought.

“LUCKy?! AH! AHAHAHA I CAHAHAHAN’T BREEHEHEHEHEATHE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH EEEE!” you continue. Great, Asmodeus found out just how ticklish your upper ribs are by your chest. Of course he would find that spot. 

Finally, the torment stops. It seems like it lasted for so long. Too long. You melt into giggles on Asmodeus’ lap and the couch. 

“I donno about y'all, but I like this a lot more than a movie night.” Mammon says, shooting you a wink. You just stick your tongue out at him. Asmodeus slowly rakes his fingers through your hair.

“Me too. Shall we make this a weekly event?” Asmo says, looking up at your brothers. All of them seem to be in agreement.

“Wait–” You begin.

“As long as everyone gets equal opportunity. It wouldn’t be fair otherwise.” Lucifer says with a small nod. You look at him in dismay. What betrayal.

“So, who wants to take bets? Fifty Grimms to whoever can get her to laugh the hardest!” Mammon calls out. This is going to be a long night.

[ladynox]

Tagged by @beautifulcheat

name/nickname : Karen. Not much opportunity for nicknames there. Some of my IRL friends call me by initials, KP. But it’s just nox or dark online.

gender: purple hair, funky earrings, rolled up jeans with converse high tops and hats

star sign: Pieces

height: 5′4″

time: 19:39

birthday: March

fav band: It’s hard to pick one as it really depends on what I’m obsessively playing on loop at the time. Right now, probably Muse.

fav solo artist : Again depends on what I’m obsessively listening too so I’d say Doja Cat rn.

song stuck in my head: Kiss Me More by Doja Cat/SZA

last movie: I… donno? Maybe Jaws with @maeglinthebold

last show: Castlevania. ❤❤❤❤

when i created this blog: I’ve no idea. Definitely during one of the mass exoduses from LJ.

what i post: um… mostly rnm atm. A lot of art from other fandoms too I guess. This is not something I think about either. Mostly whatever amuses me or I find interesting. XD

last thing i googled: $150 umbrellas.

other blogs: I have just the one.

do i get asks: nope. I don’t produce content consistently enough for that to happen.

following: 283

why i chose my URL: ever since I got my first Compaq computer, my online handles have always included something to do with darkness or night. The lady part was probably just because i didn't want to think too much about it.

lucky number: if I had lucky numbers, I'd have won the lotto by now.

followers: 267. Mostly porn bots I betcha XD

average hours of sleep: 5 or 6. I am very, very bad at going to bed at a decent hour.

instruments: none

what am i wearing: grey tank top and undies.

dream job: I hate working

fav food: fried eggs over yellow rice.

nationality: new yorker. XD

fav song: Fat-bottomed Girls by Queen.

last book i read: It’s been a while since I’ve read anything that's not a text book. Maybe Juliet Takes Breathe by Gabby Rivera.

top 3 fictional universes id like to live in: Like Kat, I’d say Star Trek or Temeraire. Thought honestly, any universe where I can live on a estate, read books and *not* work is incredibly appealing to me. um @cryoverkiltmilk @mandsleanan @sparklemagpie @forchancookie and anyone else who wants too

[deanirae]

Can you get it inside your head I’m tired of dancing?  

post 8.07 pre 8.08] crack/angst past turned unrequited deancas, implied deanbenny 2,4k [x]

The sun, also currently known as bitch, has got some serious nerve to sit where it always does, not upside down and nine miles to the left as it frankly should on this memorable fuckhat day. Where is the End of Days when it's really called for? When it should be really nigh?

Dean flips the front mirror panel down not to have to deal with at least that one disappointment. He can still see Cas's half-constipated, half-abandoned and kicked in its fluffy ass puppy face in the mercilessly annoying reflection. The obvious choice would be to not grace it with anything right now, but A – he's the one driving so his eyes can't wander off pretty far, especially in the barely sunlit grayness – and B – on his left, Sam is currently roleplaying a twelve year old girl that has her big emotional introspection accompanied by listening to Sarah McLahlan because her mean parents wouldn't let her buy ebola from the internet. Or something.

Point is, he's three hours into ostentatiously moping, trying to quietly terrorize Dean into making peace with Cas on the fly so it won't be awkward and problematique for him anymore. To Sam, Dean is just too inconvenient anytime he's inconvenient. And that, by order of nature herself, demands immediate and final stopping and ballot recounting also.

And Dean's point is, that it's not gonna happen anytime soon.

And Cas's point – assuming he’s still remotely capable of making those –  seems to be dead-set on that 50:50 face thing. And Dean regrets briefly glancing; with more or less the same intensity he regrets his whole life on the crap weather days his bones hurt harder than it should be legal.

Sam, in his hemhorroidal disturbance, reaches out to the tape deck and attempts to put anything on, but Dean feels like exactly zero of his tapes right now, so he swats Sam's hand off with a loud smack. Judging from the faces he gets for that, it's gotta be resonating in their heads a lot.

It's gonna be a long ride to Lousiana, way longer and more exhausting than the freshly puked from Purgatory one. In fact, the closer they get to Lafayette, the more tired he is and they won't start working the vetalas case until tomorrow night because apparently hanging around clubs on fridays is the new hanging downside of trees or whatever cool thing it was vetalas were doing before the rise of the all you can eat buffet of horny dicks certain they're gonna get reverse cowgirls for a two dollar drink. Or reverse cowboys. Fucking cheapskates. Some of them do have it coming. But in severe STDs, not in this.

In itself, waiting for the actual hunt really doesn't need to be a problem. It's just that Sam and Cas are fucked-bent on having it be one because—

“I said I'm going to stay with you and join you on hunts,” Cas finally snaps. „There's no need for this 'backup' as you call it, Dean.”

—Because that.

“Don't air quote it, man,” Dean mutters wearily, because of course Cas air quoted it.

“And there is absolutely no need for you to sleep in a vampire's camping truck when we have plenty of motels to pick from,” Cas rants on, zero deterred and plus ten determined, clearly not tuning into Dean's I don't wanna discuss that vibe.

Annnd because that too, yeah.

“Well I donno, I sure didn't want us to look like some sort of a hookup site for salvation army fashionistas threesome. You'll thank me later. Or you can do it now and shut up when you're done, how's that.”

“A vampire,” Sam interrupts his polished bitchface just to whine it out, which has to be peak brotherly care by his modern standards.

“You two asshats had no problem leaving me in vamp-vegas for a goddamn year,” Dean growls. “I am an adult adult and I need some me-time that isn't you time. And I'm gonna have awesome time while I'm at it. Sue me if that's a crime. Bother my lawyer.”

“You don’t have a lawyer”, says Sam.

“Aren’t you kind of a lawyer?” Dean remembers suddenly. “Or at least close enough for you two to bother each other and not me?”

“No, didn’t get to get there yet, thanks to you,” Sam mutters, also suddenly remembering the past life of his that was never meant to be.

“Oh, I’m sorry”, Dean whines. “Did I set your girlfriend on fire?”

“Fuck off.”

“I thought you missed me,” as if triggered by the word fuck, Cas drops the bomb with an evenness in his voice which hints at many things but Dean's brain is too stop-record screech to dissect them right now.

“What?” he blurts out, confused and affronted both.

“I thought you missed me,” Cas repeats, lower and harder like Dean's a stupid cat that won't spit out what it's chewing.

“Cas, I really don't wanna do this.”

“You kept praying to me to come back, Dean. After you were out of Purgatory. I heard you. Those were quite some prayers. Now you're putting yourself in real danger just to stay away from me. I don’t understand.”

Sam just stares at Dean, the always most helpful thing on the planet that he is. Thanks, Sam. Dean stares at the road. Cas stares daggers through the back of Dean's head. Poor Baby can't just leave this situation so she just keeps on rollin’. Nobody wins that day.

“That was before you told me you were lying your ass off just to kick me out last minute. Your subscription for my prayers and personal Jesus license have now expired, by the way. Like, the fuck does talking to you even do?”

“Fine!” Castiel snaps, so close to throwing his hands in the air for a grand effect but luckily thinking better of it since he's in a car that has a roof among other things. “I understand that you're angry—” he tries to start over, calmer, after a self-collecting breath.

“No, you don't,” Dean mutters.

“But you can't risk your life in the stupidest available way just to get back at me, Dean. Not after everything I've done to make sure you come back safe.”

Well at least he didn't include Sam in that „saving” part.

“You were there, man. You know Benny never double crossed me or you. What the exact fuck is your problem with him?”

A very angry squint-frown precedes the actual answer.

“You were his ticket to Earth. Now your life doesn't hold the same value.”

“Thanks, Cas. That's really swee—”

“You know that's not what I meant, Dean,” Cas growls in a tone that's clearly a final warning.

So final even Sam and his high horse must have heard since he steps in to defuse Cas.

“Cas, I'm not a fan of saying it, but Benny isn't a threat to Dean. I think the guy is kinda trying to settle,” he offers.

Dean smiles a little bit.

“See, Cas?”

“But I'm worried he might have more vamps trying to take him down because he pissed off every fang that ever knew him and then some. This is actual danger, Dean.”

“What?!” Castiel explodes in unbridled rage.

“Sam, have you ever wondered where do snitches go after they die?”

“Dean, you know I'm serious.”

“Ditches,” Dean concludes.

“When exactly were you going to tell me this?” Castiel asks coldly. “After you get killed by vampire avengers?”

“They're all taken care of, Cas. No mean jokes this time. Relax.”

“With your Winchester luck? I doubt it.”

“Oh, come on. It's not like you wouldn't bring me back even if something did happen.”

“Yes, even twice because first I would have personally destroyed you for being so reckless.”

“I know you would.”

“Guys,” Sam tries to placate, “we should all calm down and rethink how to handle it safely. It's not a good time for some jilted lovers tiff”, he begs.

Dean frowns then makes mocking faces at him to communicate that he's being a fucking douche.

“You're a fucking jilted lovers tiff,” he decides.

“We had sex, Dean,” Castiel states accusatorily.

Little does he know, he just broke Sam beyond repair. Now that the cat is out of the bag, the only thing Dean can do is to straighten some things out.

“Once,” he says, raising a finger to accentuate his point. “Cas was sure we were gonna die in the morning. We didn't, but there never was a follow up on that, so,” Dean shrugs.

“You weren't interested.”

“Says you,” Dean huffs. “I’m sorry, do you know me? Being interested in sex is in my top five pasttimes. You behaved like a brick on the other hand and I don’t know how to read concrete.”

“I don’t want to be here, good fucking God,” Sam finally yelps after a successful reboot of his brain.

Dean’s pretty sure nobody wants to be in this car right now and the only goddamn thing that could potentially make him ‘special’ right now is the fact currently Sam’s probably the only person in the Impala who has not lain his mouth on Cas’s dick. Hopefully.

Funnily enough, Cas could easily poof out without lethal injuries, but he’s dead set on staying, judging from the frown on his face that looks like a stock market crash diagram.

“I didn’t exactly see you giving me any signs.”

And set on having this conversation.

“I’m not a cat, I don’t go into heats, Cas. Can we talk about it somewhere more private? Later? Cuz everybody here wants to fucking die right now.”

“Private?” Cas asks. “If you want privacy to talk then why do you refuse to book a room with me?”

“We don’t need to share a room to have a conversation. Unless what you want it to end with is getting back on track with that last night on Earth thing we had that one time.”

“Jesus Christ,” Sam cries.

“Grow up and stow your crap, Sam,” Cas says unexpectedly before Dean could even bother to serve anything in a similar note.

Dean is so thrown off his equilibrium by that he puts the car to an abrupt halt. Only because he’s too deeply wired to not crash the Impala into the first available so he won’t accidentally kill Sam.

That is, if Cas’s words haven’t obliterated him already. He glances at him, just in case. Speechless as holily commanded by the celestial – potentially horny – wrath from the back seat, but at least he’s still breathing.

“Um,” he says, because someone’s gotta, because he’s still the big brother in this demented equation. “Cas, what the fuck was that?”

“Should you, of all people, really need me to be this blunt – now that the worst affairs have been settled, we could pick up where we left off, and hopefully reach a mutual understanding regarding the nature of our relationship so that doubt no longer hinders you. If it’s still something that interests you, of course. Would that be clear and direct enough, Dean?”

Well, that was… long? Long enough citations are probably needed, but, uh, yeah. S’ gotta be addressed immediately or else.

“Cas, that was 2010 and we have 2012 now.”

“It was 2012 when you prayed to me in Purgatory and it was 2012 four days ago. Granted, your feelings towards me might be very complicated, but I still can sense and read your longing,” Cas says with a weary sigh.

“Stop smelling my longing,” Dean responds with a wearier one. “And I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

“But I should explain myself to you.”

“I’m real fed up with your explanations, you know that? And we don’t got time for that, either. We need to get to Lafayette because we got a case waiting to get solved.”

“It’s because he’s waiting there for you, isn’t it,” Cas says sadly; not a question. A statement.

Dean doesn’t need to respond. Doesn’t feel like it, too.

Yeah. It’s good to actually have someone waiting for you; someone there.

Maybe it’s not that complicated, after all. Maybe it doesn’t have to be.

Dean starts the car. He’s got a place to go to.

The sound apparently wakes Sam from his stupor. His bright idea of the day, he turns the radio on before the awkward silence can make the universe inside of the Impala collapse on itself and on all three of them. Too late for Dean to react now; might as well get a load of the weather report.

In the back seat, Cas flicks his wrist subtly and the monotone voice sharply cuts off into static for a moment and the frequency bar moves elsewhere on its’ – or rather, Cas’s – own.  Some solitary synthesiser-made sounds drop one after another like tiny steps and Dean realizes he definitely has heard this song before at some point in his life as eighties one hit wonders ain’t no strangers to him. Oh well. Might as well not get any of the wea—

Looking from a window above, it’s like a story of love… Can you hear me?

Is he fucking kidding?!

Came back only yesterday, I’m moving farther away.... Want you near me…

“Are you fucking kidding?” Dean cries out, incredulous.

Tries to turn the radio off but it just won’t die.

All I needed was the love you gave— “You want melodramatic? I’ll give you melodramatic.” —All I needed for another day — Dean reaches out for his phone and starts typing angrily — and all I ever knew, only you.

He puts on good ol’ Fish and hopes it’s gonna be louder than Cas’s synth-pop loving. And starts driving towards where he wants to be cause he’s tired of dancing.

[zu-is-here]

Chapter 3: nothing.

I don’t see anything. I don’t hear anything. I can’t taste, or smell. Except myself. Now that I think about it, the only real thing here is me.

Even my shadow hates the voices. that’s probably why it left us. How low did I get? Did the pain do this? Did I do this? Did the voices do this? Did the soul do this? Was it the human or myself? How did I get here and why? Why am I here? Why am I in the middle of nowhere? Aren’t I supposed to be everywhere? And how did I get to the middle? Is there even sides or ends?

I don’t think I like the white anymore. It hurts. It’s so loud I can’t get up. It’s so loud my body screams back. I feel my eye sockets exploded. Everything hurts. It hurts so much, even the voices scream in agony. It hurts so much, this place is in pain too.

I feel like every part of my body is breaking itself and fixing itself together, just to break again. It’s endless. I’m just cutting myself, the pain will go away eventually right? but it doesn’t. It never does. It’s endless. It’s repeating. It’s a circle. It’s burning. It hurts.

Why does the white hurt me? I’ve done nothing but love it with all my heart. I’ve been only good to you. Why are you treating me this way? I’ve adored your silence, your hunger, your emptiness. Every minute I’ve known you I only loved you, and I never forget you. Yet you hurt me with no mercy. Have you no feeling for me? No love? No friendship? Not even trust? I ran to you when I needed help. Why are you pushing me away? I trusted you. As beautiful as you are, I’ll never trust you again. Goodbye.

Let. Me. OUT. Do not play games with me. If you hate me so much then you might as well let me leave. I’ll kill you. I’ll destroy you for hurting me. I’ll destroy you for hurting the voices.

...

BE SCARED!! REACT! DO ANYTHING!! LET ME OUT! Please... let this pain go away....

Why are you torturing me like this? Do you like seeing me get hurt? Is that why you brought me here? To trap me and see me go insane from pain? Well let me tell you. I’m already insane. I doesn’t even matter. There was already something wrong with me. So you can let me free. You can stop the pain.

No.... stop... you’re killing them.... no no no no no.... please....

It’s getting quieter. I’ve never hated the quiet more in my life. I’ve never hated something like you more in my life. You killed every single one of them. The last told me to run somewhere safe. They cared for me. They told me right and wrong. They helped me in difficult times. When I was hurting. When I was scared. When I needed help they came. You. You stood and watched. You said nothing. You did nothing. You just look pretty. I don’t know why I even liked you in the first place. You just hurt. You monster. Imposter. Traitor. Heartless creature. Killer. You’re horrible. Every part. Even your beauty is pure evil. I hate you. When I escape I hope I never see you again.

I feel sick. I’m going to throw up. I can’t. My head hurts. More then usual. Everything is spinning. I just want so sleep..... to stop the pain..... sleep.... I shouldn’t.... I... sleepy....

I woke up. How long was I sleeping? Ugh. I don’t feel real anymore. I think I changed. Did YOU change me? Wait. There is something- No, someone here. With me. Who are you? Wait, you were here the whole time? you didn’t realize.... you are actually here.... did you sleep? Did the pain awaken you? Who are you? What are you?-

Stop it with the questions. I’ll answer them all. Slow down first.

...

.....

You’re the human aren’t you.

————————————————————

And that’s chapter three! Only after I was done I realized it’s still short, so sorry about that. maybe I like small chapters with small and heavy details. I donno.

(Btw I don’t upload this to my own blog because I’m not that good at writing, and I prefer to send this as some kind of gift for you, if you prefer i didn’t then I’ll respect that)

Hope you like it!

Don't be afraid to post this! You're really good at it (*'▽'*) This is getting better, thank you!! <3

[weirdponytail]

Modern Inheritance Cycle: The Promise

(A/N: Way way WAAAAY Pre-Eragon. It’s rough and a majority of it was lurking in my drive folder for weeks. I wanted MIC!Brom and MIC!Arya interacting alone (aka without Izzy hovering and smothering Arya’s personality) together for the first time. The ending is shit and makes no sense, but I literally just wrote it and I’m having a hard time switching off the Japanese sentence structures (Japanese Sub-Obj-Verb vs English SVO) and whatnot and it’s just...a to-be-cleaned-later mess. But y’all gettin’ it anyway!!

Oh, also. I wanted Post-Fall Brom to be an angry jackass. Donno if that came across enough.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You’re leaving already?” 

Brom’s head snapped back, eyes narrowed as he searched the trees for the source of the voice. So the person– or thing, as you could never be sure in the heart of Du Weldonvarden– that had been following him for the past week was finally ready to reveal itself. 

Keen as he was, the Rider couldn’t pick out his second shadow from the mottled greens and browns above. They seemed content for him to answer before speaking again. 

No way around it then. Brom shifted his pack on his shoulders, and dropped a hand to the pommel of his borrowed sword. His pistol and rifle were dismantled in their cases tied to his backpack, a precaution Oromis and Glaedr had insisted on ever since their former student nearly attacked Rhunön more than a decade ago. “I have things to do.”

“Well, yeah.” There was the scuff of dried outer bark crackling as it was compressed. Brom whirled to the sound, blade halfway out of its sheath before he stayed his hand, now more annoyed than ever. “But it’s not like you’re finished here, are you?”

Crouched upside down with her bare feet planted on the bottom of a pine branch and fingertips digging into the bark, was an elf. She cocked her head at him, dark hair waving as she observed his nearly threatening stance and foot of naked steel that was still exposed at his side. 

And she gave him a sly smirk. 

“Are you going to draw on me, ebrithil shur’tugal?”

Brom felt his blood pressure jolt up several levels. “What do you want? Either say your piece or go away. I don’t have time for this.” He slammed his sword back into the sheath, locking the hilt in place. 

“Fine, fine.” The elf let go of the branch and twisted in the air, landing deftly on her feet. “I wanted to talk to you but couldn’t with everyone else around.” 

He wanted to say that the time for talk was over. That he was done playing politics in this damned forest and he was going to back to fix the problems the elves had abandoned when they retreated there. 

But his voice died in his throat as the elf came closer. No, not a full grown elf. An elfling, a child. He could see the faint silver of her skin now that she was not haloed by the dappled sunlight dripping down the tree.  

She bowed slightly, hand twisted over her heart in the elvish greeting before straightening and hesitantly held out her hand, almost appearing unfamiliar with the second gesture. “Stars watch over you. I’m–”

“Oh, I know exactly who you are, girl.” Brom ignored the offered hand and stepped around the elfling. Now that she was on the ground, she didn’t even reach his shoulder. “Does your mother know you’re here?”

There was a sudden snap in the air. Brom felt the hair on the back of his neck rise but refused to turn as the girl jogged to his side, obviously piqued. So she was still young enough to be bleeding uncontrolled magic into the world. “I was going to say, I’m Arya and my mother is not me and does not get to introduce me.” There was venom in her tone, something that the Rider had honestly not expected. What he had seen of Arya before was only a glimpse, usually several strides behind the Queen and watching the goings on quietly with wide, dark eyes. “And I want to talk to you.”

“Go home.” 

“No. I’m not letting you leave without talking to me.”

“We’ve talked. A conversation with several back and forth utterances has taken place. You can go.”

“Master Glaedr was right about you. Look, just take me with you.” 

Brom stopped. Now that was something he had not expected. The request, that is, not the comment about Glaedr. He turned slightly, one eyebrow raised in question. “What?”

“You heard me.” Arya crossed her arms, firmed her stance and glared at him with brilliant fire in her dark green eyes. “Take me with you.”

For a moment, Brom saw Evandar again. The elvish king’s rage at Galbatorix’s mindless slaughter of the dragons and innocents was something that was not easily forgotten. 

For the briefest flicker of time, Brom saw that rage again, barely contained within the small, half grown elfling planted defiantly before him. It was simmering just beneath the surface, threaded through with the innate defiance of youth and stubbornness that all but screamed Islanzadi’s name. 

There was conviction there as well. That, it seemed, was Arya’s claim alone. 

He turned to face her fully. “You want to go out there and fight?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” 

“Because I’m sick of hearing about people dying.” Despite having to tilt her head back to keep steady eye contact with the Rider, Arya stepped forward into Brom’s personal space. “It’s time someone in this forest did something to fix the problems we brought about instead of moaning about the how Golden Age is gone while people out there die! So make no mistake, ebrithil shur’tugal. I’m going to help you stop this war so that no one else has to die for it. 

“I’m going to help kill the Forsworn and Galbatorix, and help to end this war.”

Unlike any other who could have heard them, Brom did not laugh at the young elf’s words. He searched her face, letting the ring of the bond in her last statement, forged in her switch the Ancient Language, cool in the air. In all that time Arya did not flinch. She did not back down nor show any flicker of doubt on her face or in her eyes. 

The elfing still did not move when Brom nodded slowly and rubbed at the stubble that patched his face. “Alright then. Seeing as how you just royally screwed yourself at...what, eight years old?”

Another snap of static flicked the air, this time pinging Brom on the neck as Arya’s eyes flashed. “I’m twelve.”

“Right, right. Royally screwed yourself and your entire life by magically forcing yourself to join a war and probably get yourself killed, then fine.” Brom put his finger up to halt the growing excitement he could see rising in the little elf. “But. Not now. Give it a few years. Ten, maybe twenty or so...and I’ll see if you’re ready to start working on your promise.”

The near feral grin that split Arya’s face startled him. This was something he had not seen before in Islanzadi nor Evandar. The wild, vibrant spirit waiting to be unleashed on the world was all Arya’s own. He shook hands with the elfling to seal their agreement. 

“Tell the Forsworn I’m coming for them, yeah?”

Brom grinned despite himself. He knew that the girl had likely signed her own death warrant this day. But something about that half crazed smile she wore told him otherwise.

[cawolters]

December...? DECEMBER!?

What about September?

November?

October?? What did I miss??

Yes, well, no you didn’t miss any vitals updates. I have reasons for why I haven’t been active on tumblr, and the most honest reason is that I didn’t feel like writing and posting on here since spring.

The writeblr community is so so great, one of the best in the web, but the platform is driving me nuts. Flagging, shadow bans, tag dysfunction and draft erasing/crashing, have just completely smashed my love for making fun and elaborate posts.

However, lots of updates has been made and i keep seeing wips I want to tag list and people i want to hang out with, so I’ll stick around for another decade or so! Hashtag always lurking.

The more polite reason for my absence, and equally truthful I might add, is that I was very busy the last few months —COMMISSIONS! LIFE! IRL NETWORKING!

And now I’ll tell you about it all, starting by answering the Q on everyone’s tongue:

1) Is Flash Fiction Friday Getting Revived in 2020?

In short, yup.

I need it, you need it, the world needs it. We need to WRITE folks. And the lovely prompt Friday will be back with week no 30 (!!) on:

Friday the 10th of January!

I have a capable team of creative and lovely writeblrs on the job as to how we an ensure consistent posting —and just and FYI, we might even end up with giving the FFF it’s own blog.

Run free, be with the people my beautiful prompt creature, inspire! And give me something to read!!

Stay tuned for updates and tell me is you want to be added to the FFF tag list.

Now next up is my scrip update!

2) Querying ‘The Serpent Kiss’

All is well in the land of querying.

or... well almost.

Alrighty, lemme explain below.

So, if you’ve been following me for awhile, you know my third child (whom is not currently teething or using my lipstick as a crayon) is my dark new adult fantasy trilogy —The Serpent Kiss <3

If you donno what I’m talking about, here’s a quick summery of the query process:

I finished the English first draft, two and a half years ago (I think?) and started looking into querying after my fifth draft was done.

I decided very early on that I would feel more comfortable working here in Denmark, where I already have a literary network, and actually understand the cultural unwritten rules when working with publishers!!

Since then I have been rewriting, tweaking, had beta-readers, editors, a sponsored translator (who translated the script from English to danish) BEFORE I started querying seriously in Denmark.

During the time where the book was being reviewed, I’ve kept in touch with houses who showed interest in the book from the get go (encouraging me to push onward), done a lot of social media work (especially on Instagram since the publishers all mentioned the importance of that platform) and attended books cons to physically mingle (it makes a difirence —really).

Ah, and now, finally, we’ve starting to get serious replies back from the Danish publishers.

Let’s look at what they’ve said so far.

(And mind you, this is Denmark. We’re a tiny country and we DON’T have adult fantasy books written by danish authors, so their critique is based on that. YA is what’s sellable and had been for years, buuut I also know that tendency will shift, so that’s what I’m really selling. A new trend basically. Always understand what pov the critique is coming from and don’t stop at the first rejection)

3/5: ‘no thank you, there’s no marked in Denmark for your book’

1/5: ‘we love it but rewrite it to YA and we have a deal’ — I said, no thank you

1/5: ‘we love it as is and we want to give you a deal, but we have to work out the legal kinks, and we will give you final answer by the end of January!’

So I’m awaiting the final judgement!!

But not really, it’s not the final judgement. If the deal falls through, and it might, never pop champagne before signing, I still have four more houses I could send the book to here in Denmark.

And, I could still go the international route and query over seas.

Yup! That’s the update on that!

Next up? The general writing!

3) A Year Of Author

“It’s really hard being a writer... Not on the days where you’re writing, but on the days where you’re not!”

— @CAlisaWolters, Instagram confessions

My year of full time professional writing, meaning mainly relying on my text/skill/art to heave in the cash, is six months down and going — OK!!

Here’s what I’ve learned/done so far:

I’m writing 4-7h on commissions, the second book of the trilogy, short-stories, poetry and another little YA project every day. Yes. Every day. And that’s very very cool and also exhausting mentally. My advice to others: HAVE OBLIGATORY DAYS OFF! (Oh yea and I also won nanowrimo but the project is a secret shh).

I’m somewhat alone most of the time but being a closeted introvert, I don’t mind, but I miss coworkers. That’s why Café dates and write-ins with writer pals IS IMPORTAINT.

Also! Speaking of socializing, I’ve been to five writers cons/events and I definitely recommend making it a priority for all professional authors. BRING BUSINESS CARDS!!

I have a set routine and I’m really happy with it! Early mornings is the best! And Monday is where I don’t write, but keep up with social media and answer mails and run errands! MAKE A ROUTINE!

And that’s the update on THAT!! Phew I’m getting winded, are you? Fear not we one have one last thing to cover. Promise.

4) Personal Life and Drag Kings ^_^

Where to start? Ah I know! I’ll start with the drag king storytelling event because that’s really what stands out!

I’m a mom, a wife, a bisexual, a general theatrical person and a genderfluid jellyfish who uses she/her pronounces, so when someone booked me for a storytelling event, I decided to go in drag. Naturally. Tsh duh.

I’ve really been experimenting with my gender this year, playing with apperence and comfortzones, and discovering that my real happiness lies somewhere between flooofy dresses and black buttondowns. And not just the clothes, but there attitude, the demeanor, the mental space of wearing cologne!! It might not sound dramatic, but to me it’s been A RIDE!

(I’ve been dying to go full drag for a long looooong time and I should’ve gone all out on the makeup —but next time!!! Also the event went so so well and I had the best time! I’m going to do it again!)

And NOW I’m done! Hah not really, but I won’t force you to spend all day reading my updates and this post is already so loooong 💕💕✨💕

The new year looms!! May it bring you love and confidence, and lots of new opportunities!!

Hug hug hug!!

.

.

.

~Ciao

[oadara]

Hey, now with three episodes left and another war coming their way, when do you think Jon and Dany will get married? Also, a stupid question, but what's with Tyrion betraying Dany? Why? I spent the last year avoiding all spoilers and info about the show and now I keep seeing this. P.S. I love your blog, it's always been a light in times of darkness for Jonerys shippers

Hey friend!

Thank you, I’m really glad you like my blog. I’m just going to use you ask to answer a bunch of other questions sort of related. Please forgive me for hijacking your ask. 

First things first, let’s talk about how the Night King was killed. 

Foreshadowing for the end of the Night King

We are all freaking out because the end of the Night King and his army of the dead was not something most of us expected to happen so soon, nor did we expect it to happen the way it did end up happening. Personally, I feel like there are many loose threads that have yet to be probably taking care of in regards to the magical storyline. Having said all that, there was foreshadowing for how things did end up going down. On my prediction post on April 9, 2019, I wrote the following (you can read the rest of the post HERE)

6. The Valyrian steel dagger that Bran gave to Arya will play an important role, perhaps even be used to finally destroy the Night King.

The dagger was quite prominent throughout season 7 including making an appearance in one of the text Sam was reading in the citadel, perhaps it’s even one of the texts he brought along with him to Winterfell. We are clearly meant to see this as an important object.

Going off this I believe that Arya’s training as a Faceless Men is important to the endgame. I don’t think she went through that training just to get revenge. The Faceless Men worship the gods of death and the Night King has been described as Death incarnate, so there very well could be a connection there. If we take GRRM at his word and we won’t see the typical fantasy trope of the good guys coming together to destroy the evil monster, then the other very typical fantasy trope of the hero battling the monster in a sword fight might not be the route that GRRM goes in. It might very well be that in order to destroy the Night King characters will have to work in unison to do whatever needs to be done to destroy him.

I don’t know how one destroys the Night King but perhaps it has something to do or it’s tied to the shard of dragonglass the Night King has in his heart.

Now, I was wrong about the other stuff and didn’t think things would go down exactly as they did, however, I did recognize the importance of the dagger and that it would play an integral role in destroying the Night King. 

So, now we find ourselves having dealt with the dead is time to deal with the living. Now, we actually had foreshadowing for that as well, and I actually picked up on it right after season 7, however, I completely ignored myself and decided to take my prediction in a different direction. But let’s look back to what I wrote on September 19, 2017, season 7 was very much present on my mind and this was my immediate impression after watching the season (you can read the full post HERE)

Generally speaking, I think we’ve been going about predicting the ending of the series the wrong way. Most of us assumed (not wrongly) that the Wight Walker/Others would be the final enemy, the last battle of the series. But now, I don’t think that will be the case.

While the WW/Others SHOULD have been the ultimate enemy (in-universe) and threat to all of Westeros, they won’t be. Why? Because the nature of man is to pursue and retrain power and even battling a natural disaster (the WW are somewhat symbolic of climate change) won’t dissuade those who want to retain power, to give it up. Think of our current issues with climate change, while it might seem like a no-brainer to combat it many people don’t care or don’t want to fight it because fighting it would diminish their bottom line, i.e. the money.

Having said that I believe that the Wight Walkers will be defeated by the end of episode 4. I think they’ll come pretty far south but I don’t think they’ll get to King’s Landing.  

So having dealt with what should have been the ultimate threat to humanity our heroes, those who survive should be able to go home and have nice quiet lives. But unfortunately, our heroes live in Westeros so the war is still not over for them. There is one more enemy that they must battle but this is not some mythical antagonist, no just a human one: Cersei Lannister assisted by Euron Greyjoy (in the books it’ll be the reverse).

I’m not sure how Cersei’s defeat will go down but if the Red Keep hasn’t gotten kaboom yet, it probably will. I still believe in the Valonqar theory so Jaime will bring an end to his twin sisters reign. I think she’ll be defeated by either the end of episode 5 or the beginning of episode 6.

I’m not quoting myself to brag because I ended up being completely wrong about how things unfold. but at some point, I was right, when I allowed my instincts to guide me. 

Having said all this, what I’m really trying to get at is that there was clear foreshadowing for how things were going to go down this season. We all just chose to ignore it, but the foreshadowing was there. Which means that anything that happens from now on should have already been foreshadowed. 

What we need to do now is to accept what we are being told and not what we would like to see. This is something I say all the time but it’s hard for me to do as well, as the evidence above shows. 

Tyrion’s Betrayal

Before I answer your ask on Jon and Dany, I want to answer your ask about Tyrion’s betrayal. 

I believe it was last fall when Frikidoc told us the Tyrion would be tried in episode 6 for betraying the Starks. 

After season 7 my initial instinct was that there was something off about Tyrion. I couldn’t put my finger on it, however, in that same post from September 19, 2017, I replied to a comment:

I can’t see anyone dying after Cersei, so it’ll have to be before that or during it.

I think Jaime’s death is a good bet. In the past I would never have guessed Tyrion but, I donno, after this season I can see it happening. There was something off about him.

I’ve always thought that there would be a good chance that Jorah would die and I still think that’s the case.

For me to feel that way, they had to be putting something out there for the audience to pick up on. Again, later on, I chose to ignore it, but the feeling had been there. So, the foreshadowing is there if the story goes that route. 

There are other clues in the books that hint at Tyrion’s betrayal and you can read those HERE.

Now, to Jon and Dany. 

This morning has been extremely frustrating for me as it seems the entire fandom has forgotten all the foreshadowing that has been laid out throughout the series not only for the union of Jon and Dany but also for their child. 

 The parallels and connection between Jon and Dany have been laid out on countless metas and post so I will not reiterate them again here. However, I will note, what I would consider, the foreshadowing we’ve been given the last two season. 

Marriage between Jon and Daenerys

First, the theme of “togetherness” that was introduced in season 7. This word is woven throughout almost all the interactions Jon and Dany have with each other. It’s actually the last thing they say to one another when Dany agrees to sail to Winterfell with Jon. 

Additionally, Littlefinger very pointedly tells Sansa, before he dies, that a marriage between Jon and Dany would make the unstoppable. I’m paraphrasing here. Again, touching on the theme of “togetherness” introduce in relation to Jon and Dany. 

This season, we have Davos boldly announcing that what Westeros needs is a just Queen and am honorable King and that Jon and Dany would make an excellent pairing in that regard. This is as bold a statement as it comes and a truthful one. 

Point being, that the themes surrounding these two have always pointed to them coming together to form a complete package, two halves of a whole. I see no reason why they wouldn’t be married. 

By the way, this isn’t even taking into consideration Jon’s Targaryen heritage and how beneficial it would be for the two of them to unite their claims. 

Jon and Dany’s Child

The first hint of this is from season 1, however, it doesn’t get picked up again until season 6 when Dany tells one of the khals who is holding her hostage that she will never give him a son. 

In season 7 we get no less than 5 clues hinting at a child between Jon and Dany.

The first conversation between Tyrion and Dany where he brings up the issue of an heir. (This happens in the Painted Table Room)

The second conversation between Tyrion and Dany where he once again brings up the issue of an heir (I think this one is by the fireplace)

When Jon tries to return Longclaw to Jorah, beyond the Wall, Jorah tells him to keep it so that he can pass it on to his children. 

When they are sailing back to Dragonstone after the Wight Hunt, Dany tells Jon that the dragons are the only children she’ll ever have. 

At the Dragonpit, Dany and Jon once again talk about Dany’s belief that she can’t have children but this time Jon challenges the veracity of what Mirri Maaz Durr said. 

They went out of their way last season to let us know that a child between Jon and Dany was something that could very much happen. You don’t get this amount of foreshadowing for nothing. 

The moral of the story here is, that what happened in episode 3 did have foreshadowing, we might have read the foreshadowing incorrectly or missed it all together but it was there. 

So, in short, I still expect Jon and Dany to marry. 

TTFN

[meshkol]

Twitter Threads (or That One Time Tony Dialled It Up to Eleven)

Summary: Social media is hard and full of trolls, and Tony has poor impulse control.

Notes: I hate this so much. Less cracky than I wanted it, because I suck at writing humour. Fill K-3 for the Tony Stark Bingo 2019: Gossip Press. Unbeta'd as per usual. Any relation to existing twitter handles is entirely coincidental.

Warnings: Social Media, Twitter, Homophobic Language, Sexist Language, Ableist Language, Internet, Trolls, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Goes On A Rampage

No one can say that Tony’s ever had good impulse control, especially about people he loves.

@1234ideclareathumbwar posted: I donno what it is about dr strange but he must suck dick like a pro if hes got iron man whipped god knows theres nothing attractive about him except those dick suckin lips #drstrange #ironman #wtfisstarkthinking

 @100percentDONE-xxx replied: yeah its not like he can give a decent handjob ffs must me the lips or maybe hes just tight every1 knows stark loves a tight whole hes prolly cheating neway poor cripple

 @itsawrapandimreadytoparty replied: Probably just lays there and thinks about the wizard gods just to get that $$$...I’d think of England even for a nymphomaniac drug-addicted sugar daddy too, tbh.

 @BlessYouThor-ness replied: still can’t believe he chose strange over THOR like everyone can see the chemistry between them and tony is such a bottom he’d take thor’s cock so well fuck yes

 @they-did-the-thing777 replied: is it just me or does strange look like an alien maybe there’s no magic at all just aliens and he’s got a tentacle dick and stark just wants to mark off another box on his worlds-biggest-slut checklist #tonystarkispathetic

 @snowflakes_makeme_lol replied: hes just fkn ugly i s2g stark id spread 4 but strange??? that bitch be ugly asf n not worth gettin my dk wet prolly get aids

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: You guys are the pinnacle of our evolution and I am in awe of your genuine kindness and polite generosity (and grammar). Wow, I can’t believe Stephen Strange saved all of your jerkass lives TWICE for this shit and you know what? Everyone knows I’M the cocksucker in this relationship, dumbfucks.

 @kiki_blow_this_popsicle_stand replied: HOLY SHIT LMAO

“What are you doing?”

He doesn’t bother looking up from his tablet, backing away from that thread because he has no interest in seeing the replies, and hunting for the next war he can wage. “Destressing,” he replies gleefully, clicking on a thread that mentions Pepper. He can feel Rhodey behind him – and, what’s more, he can feel the disapproval seeping out of his pores too now that he’s peeking over Tony’s shoulder – but he’s on a roll, and fuck impulse control when he can sass and bitch on twitter. Some people just need to be removed from the genetic pool of the human race and not be allowed to procreate, honestly.

Somewhere in bumbfuck-nowhere, Fury is having a coronary and Stephen is rolling his eyes so hard they’re permanently lodged in his cranium.

@rudethatyoureallamatwink posted: Does anyone else think that Pepper Potts only got the job at Stark because she’s got awesome legs and a great twat and Tony Stark wanted to stick his dick in? #idfuckher #pepperpotts #starkindustries #idfuckhimtootbh #tonystark

 @MyNameIsGoFuckYourself replied: lol ur gross shes like 35 or smth but wvr u want crusty ol lose pussy u do u bro #oldchickgross #getbotox

 @shredderinmymetal3-14 replied: @MyNameIsGoFuckYourself lmao wtf?? He started fucking her when she was like twenty or something so she was still nice and tight back then. I mean I’d still fuck her right now cause she’s one hot cougar and I bet she’s learned a thing or two from the Slut Extraordinaire. And anyway, how tf do you know what her cunt’s like?? The only hole you’ve fucked is your mom.

 @queeen-bee-says-hi replied: Wow, you guys are pigs. Pepper Potts is a strong, independent, beautiful woman who is worth a thousand of all you, and your mothers would be ashamed of you all.

 @gags_are_the_best_fight_me_bitch replied: @queeen-bee-says-hi hey look theres the feminazi if you want i can replace that stick up your pussy with my dick you know you need it ill fuck you real good show you what a real mans like

 @truthisanillusion replied: I’ll fuck @queeen-bee-says-hi AND @OfficialPotts_CEO at the same time fucking feminazi cunts, god knows you bitches would be grateful for my prick in your gaping lesbian pussies

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Wow. So. Uh.

1. That’s revolting and my AI just delivered the IPs of @gags_are_the_best_fight_me and @truthisanillusion to the authorities for premeditated violence, rape, and hate crimes. You’re welcome, and feel free to send a cash donation to the charity of your choice for my thoughtfulness. I’d recommend something for women’s or LGBTQ+ rights, and I’ll match it with a multiplier of 1000x.

2. @queeen-bee-says-hi, good for you, and I can see from your profile that you’re a student. Consider your crops watered and your schooling paid for, all the way to your twelfth PhD if you want it.

3. @OfficialPotts_CEO can and will murder you with her pinky nail. I’ve taken on Thanos and I’d rather go ten rounds with him than piss her off. THAT’S why she’s CEO, not because of her admittedly awesome legs.

4. I hate this hellsite. If I buy it, can I kill it?? Rhodey says “technically” so I’m gonna look into that now.

 @i_stan_one_legend_named_virginia_p_potts replied: IRON MANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! DEFEND THE QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!! #PEPPERPOTTS4PRESIDENT

 @iaminlovewithcapandimunashamed replied: lmfao incels be fkd when #ironman comes to town

 @truthisanillusion replied: Hey @YouKnowWhoIAm No one trusts you or likes you, you fake ass super “hero” taking it up the ass like a faggot stfu and die already, kthxbye

 @queeen-bee-says-hi replied: whAT OH MY GOD THAT IS NOT NECESSARY

 @OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Tony, stop picking fights and threatening to buy twitter or I’ll ground you. And just accept the gift, @queeen-bee-says-hi - after all, he’s already done it.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Shut up Pepper, you aren’t the boss of me.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: And jokes on you @truthisanillusion because I’m already dead inside come at me bitch I’ll be the one in the multi-billion-dollar suit of armor surrounded by Avengers

 @OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Actually, I am. Don’t make me take away your toys. Or call @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel. He’s on speed-dial, sweetheart, and he likes me better than you.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Rude.

 @Sorcerer_Surpreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: The last time you threatened someone, your house got blown up. Please refrain from egging on internet trolls or I’ll dump you for Rhodes for my own sanity.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: ALSO RUDE.

“You know, I’m not even remotely bi-curious and I would totally tap that,” Rhodey says absently, though his lips are quirking into a smirk.

Tony rolls his eyes. “Hands off, you little shit, or I’ll tweet about that one time in MIT when you ate that—”

“Fuck you.”

“Been there, done that,” Tony quips cheerfully. “Not remotely bi-curious my ass—”

“You know what’s better than picking fights with twelve-year-olds on twitter? Kicking your ass right here. You come at me, Stank.”

Tony opens his mouth to reply but then gasps, already losing himself in another thread after sending a middle finger emoji into the last one.

@mwahahaha-666 posted: You guys can wax poetry about Tony Stark all you want, but screw that basic-ass rich boy - everyone knows Doctor Strange is the smokin’ hot one. #takemenow #mybodyisready #drstrange

 @ukulele_jedi_master replied: PREACH!!! stark may be loaded but stephen is the one that looks like a prada model giMME THAT MAGICAL DICK

 @xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: Fuck both of you. I just wanna be a fly on the wall when they’re fucking each other...or better yet, DIRECT them on how to ruin each other #ironstrange #otp

 @highpercentageofuselessnessachieved replied: i wonder if he can clone himself like can u imagine?? being fucked from all ends by #drstrange cock?? what i wouldn’t give to be tony stark omfg i don’t even want the money just the hard dickin from that fine piece of ass

 @its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: He’s got Iron Man wrapped around his little finger so he must have the biggest dick and the know-how to use it properly. Yes pls and thank you very much, I’ll take that monster dick pronto.

 @TGBYHN_4_LYFE replied: dude i tell u what i would do what @xxx-foreverfit-xxx said: sit in the corner w a ridign crop in 9’’ stilettos rubbin myself while directing them 2 do what i want...make em touch n stroke n suck n bite n fuck each other til they cant walk anymore n then cuddle w them n stroke their hair

 @catcatcatcat-cat replied: I would give my college education, my life, my cow, and my internet access away for the rest of my life for a sex tape

 @xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: @TGBYHN_4_LYFE omfg fuCK YES CAN YOU IMAGINE listening to them moan as they lost themselves in each oter, so fucking desperate to get off that they’re begging you to let them cum even as they try their hardest to obey, covered in precum and sweat and hot as fuck

 @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: I s2g the amount of fanfiction I write about those two alone should have me committed but I literally can’t stop the two of them are so fucking hot together that it should be illegal god bless Iron Man and Dr Strange and their sexy, sexy chemistry and sexy, sexy bodies #killme

 @one-upon-a-time-in-asgard2 replied: They are the hottest couple in the history of the universe and so fucking pure I love them both so much also @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 I demand a link to your fics cuz I’m always looking for more ironstrange porn #otp #ironstrange

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel Hey, they think you have a big dick. Little do they know that they’re totally right and that you also have the added bonus of actually BEING a big dick too! #dontthreatentoleavemeforplatypus #orilltagyouinthirstposts #awesomethirstposts #stephenhasabigdick #andiloveit #goodshit

 @mwahahaha-666 replied: OH MY DUCKING GOD

 @its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: Well, I’d be mortified that Tony Stark is replying to this except Tony Stark is acTUALLY REPLYING TO THIS BLESS YOU IRON MAN

 @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: One of these days I’m going to murder you with your own bravado and not lose a night’s sleep over it. And fine, I won’t touch Rhodes...I’m sure Rogers is free anyway, and he’s always so polite when I visit.

 @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: Please don’t read my fanfiction I will literally combust in embarrassment also I am dying over here in Copenhagen omfg

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: BRO CODE, DUDE. YOU’RE VIOLATING THE BRO CODE. I HATE YOU SO MUCH AND I WANT A DIVORCE.

 @catcatcatcat-cat replied: ...oh my god what does that mean you guys are MARRIED??!?! BLESS THE WIZARD GODS!!!!

 @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: Rhodes, I know you’re reading over his shoulder, so if you could please take away his phone now before he ends up on the cover of the Times...or breaks the internet. Again. Thank you in advance.

Tony reacts immediately, trying to make a break for it, but Rhodey’s already tackling him into the couch, a hundred and ninety pounds of lean muscle and pretty Class As. Tony hisses breathlessly, the wind knocked out of him, and he struggles valiantly to keep his hands on his tablet while Rhodey does his best to rip it away. He doesn’t have a very good position so he makes a hair-brained, split-second decision to throw his body weight to the side, making them both roll off the couch. Rhodey’s a jerk though, and manages to react fast enough so that Tony takes the brunt of the impact, and he can’t even help but groan in a mixture of mild pain and disappointment as he feels the tablet being removed from his lax fingers.

“Sucks to be you, Stank,” he says breathlessly, fingers flying over the keyboard, and Tony cranes his neck until he can read Rhodey’s reply (and on Tony’s fucking account what in the hell!):

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: I think I broke your hot mess of a husband, Stephen. Come collect him before he murders me with his eyes or gets his hands on another electronic device. We’re in the lab.

Three seconds later, Stephen walks through a portal, looking oh-so-fucking-gorgeous in his battle robes, and wearing a scowl of irritation that bodes well for rough, mock-angry sex in the near future.

Tony grins unapologetically, and abandons the lure of social media in exchange for his pseudo husband.

It’s an easy choice.

Also read on ao3.

Feel free to prompt me things on my Bingo Card!