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rex101111 · 3 months ago

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I promise this isn't dickriding I genuinely think that Ch'io will forever be a more satisfying and narratively-consistent conclusion to Xrd's story than strive was. Every once in a while I think I've overblowing my dislike for canon but then I go back and rewatch it and feel my insides curdling. 'When have I ever called you Aria' DUDE you've made it explicitly clear to her that you've spent a century pining and trying to get her back if anything it's even more a disservice to Jack-o that she's basically being treated like sloppy seconds because you suddenly stopped caring for whatever arbitrary reason. The girl isn't stupid do you think she can't put two and two together. Do you name a single thing or reason that you like about Jack-o as a person aside from the fact that she looks like your dead girlfriend

To reiterate another point i made back in my story watch live blog: It's been three damn weeks. Three. WEEKS. Three weeks since the end of Rev2, and during Rev2 their only real interactions are...what? A couple of scenes in her Arcade mode where she's being mysterious and confusing? A fucking century of mourning, of yearning, of being consumed by grief and anger and...it just fuckin' poofs out of existence because you have a replacement red head for less than a month?? Mr. Badguy sincerely what in the Absolute, Utter, and Complete fuck are you on about???

Y'know, Jack-O was an interesting concept and character in Xrd, honestly, genuinely. A self-professed empty shell in the shape of a person explicitly made to bring back someone from the dead. And she knows. And while a part of her is a bit sad about it, she's accepted it. She's not really a person, not exactly, she's a step on a process, a rung on a ladder that's been built for a century. She muses about the nature of existence, like plenty of other characters do in these games, but her stand out scene is, and I will treasure this forever, when she asks Raven, honestly and plainly, when was the last time he just talked to someone with no real purpose being just talking to them. A being who's life has no meaning beyond the goal she's meant to facilitate, asking about the last time someone did something essentially meaningless, because doing something like that is important. It was great, she was great, like if Happy Chaos had some actual depth to his character and wasn't just a empty headed hurricane of a person who would just refused to shut the fuck up HOMESTUCK.

And, in concept, the direction they decided to take with her in Strive had potential, so close to accomplishing her goal, actually about to step over the threshold and vanish...what if this empty shell suddenly got filled with something? What if that something was existential dread?

Everyone around her says that Aria shouldn't have died, that Aria deserves a second chance at life, and everything she hears about Aria from Sol and Asuka sounds...like they're right, like her giving up her life would be a noble thing. But, given some time to actually walk the earth, see life, meet people...what if that knowledge clashed with her sudden and simple impulse of I want to live. I don't want to die either.

And Sol's side of this could have been so juicy! The plot could have been "oh sure you can have the love of your life back after a century of grief, but first you have to let this other person throw themselves into a fire. think you can manage that, Badguy?" Imagine a Strive where Sol and Jack-O had a chance to actually, like, interact, get to know each other, and Sol actually points out all the ways she's different from how Aria was. Which would have told us so much about both Aria and Jack-O! And it would make it more convincing that Sol sees her as her own person. If they kept the possibility of Aria coming back open, another way, harder, but maybe, someday, there would be some room for an actual character moment. Where Jack-O is just on the edge of valuing her own life more then being Aria back, but still feels like she has a duty to uphold, until Sol pulls her back and says something like, "much as I miss Aria...she'd give me hell for killing someone who didn't do anything to deserve it just to bring her back." Because Sol Badguy gives a shit about people! He does! He's wounded and angry and covered in armor he's built out of a century of trauma and spite and cynicism BUT DEEP DOWN HE'S STILL GOT A DAMN HEART! I could have bought him being conflicted once he actually thinks about the implications of Jack-O dying for Aria's sake if she herself wasn't 100% on board with it. And that could have sparked conflict with Asuka!! He would have been so pissed because he spent so much time and spilt so much blood for this exact moment only for Frederick to suddenly grow a moral center out of nowhere. He is too far deep in the shit he's done and the people he's hurt to even entertain the idea, and if Sol gets in his way it will get bloody. And BOOM! FINAL CLIMACTIC BATTLE! FOUGHT BETWEEN TWO CHARACTERS WE ARE ACTUALLY INVESTED IN! NOT SOME OUT OF NOWHERE D-GRADE ANIME VILLAIN WE DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT! IT WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT! Could have been great. But nooooo instead we had to deal with Happy and his body paint stinking ass letting Asuka more or less off the hook, we had to deal with Sol just tossing the idea of bringing Aria back over his shoulder like trash, like every single game that came before didn't matter. We got Jack-O having tea with Ky while talking about Sol and nothing about herself, and then talking with I-No about fucking nothing and her being a glorified "eh, better than nothing" trophy for Sol to cap up his adventure with and GAAAAAAAAAAAAH STRIVE MAKES ME SO FUCKIN MAD!!! grrraag, yeah yeah every time I think "eh maybe im overreacting here" I actually stop to remember the bullshit and go "Actually no I should be MADDER about this actually". Gah. ...at least we got Another Story and Delilah out of this mess, so its not all bad...

#guilty gear #answers #broken clover #god help me i was at work and this ask bounced around my head all day #and i just kept getting madder and madder the more i thought about strive and its shitty ass story

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xavier-elrose · 1 year ago

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What does it mean, to die?

It's one of those philosophical questions, which you can answer quickly and blithely ("To die is to have your head reduced to the consistency of chunky salsa by a mortar round"), as long as you completely disregard what the question is actually asking.

What does it mean, to die?

Around here, it's an unusually complicated question. You can see it happen, but...you also kinda can't.

Let me try to explain.

See, there's all these bits (obviously 'bits' is a highly technical term, here) that collectively make up the whole enchilada that is a person (again, obviously, 'whole enchilada' is what the experts call it. Let me know if the terminology is too much). Two of the big bits are memory (you can think of this as being, like, your conscious self- the part of you that knows and cares about, say, which team is which in a football game) and your...soul? Essence? "Self-stuff"? (As you can see, I am steeped in the technical terminology of these matters.)

Your essence. Lets call it your essence. Like, if you woke up tomorrow with no memory, don't even know what a bed is, your first actions will still depend on who you are. Are you going to get up and explore? Are you going to feel violent? Are you going to roll back over and mutter the language-independent equivalent of "...five more minutes..."? My personal definition of death, which may or may not be what the philosophers have decided to go with, is when these two bits go their separate ways.

Reincarnation is a thing. Your essence wanders back into the world, floating free in time and space, finding another home, usually quite far from the last one. I've been doing this long enough to have a little bit of data on souls that have come through multiple times.

An afterlife- a 'heaven' if you like- is also a thing. It's...kinda not as good as it sounds? All your memories are there, all of your conscious self, but your essence- your true essence- has wandered off elsewhere to live in a snail or a peacock or a medieval Swiss mercenary or something. Your memory persists with a sort of...static copy of your essence coupled to it.

What that means is that you can, kind of, grow and learn, but only in very, very limited ways. You can gain new information and new experiences, but you'll always still be the same you, you'll always process things the same, you'll never really grow and change as a person.

Heaven takes the concept of a single, permanent self and makes it so. The result is honestly a little horrifying, even though it is, in all other ways, quite nice. Heaven is literally if the you right now had everything they could ever want, you just can't ever grow and change.

It's apparently the only way humans can be truly, permanently satisfied. We're not meant for static situations.

What words the philosophers use for all this I don't know, but the main one I use is 'blech'. I didn't want to split my self. I didn't want my essence out there, wandering around in a sloth or swallow or a shark. I wanted it here, with me, all of my memories and ideas and my self.

So when the time came to split, I just...kinda...didn't.

Most people can't really do that. But most people aren't as stubborn as I am. Most people would give up on something like this after a century or two.

But, listen. I've just gotta be me.

There are others around, in various states of transiting. Some simply run on ahead, their essences to orbit and to return to the Earth, their conscious selves and memories to eternal happiness (and the happiness is real, whatever else I've said about it being horrifying), as static monuments to the living beings they once were.

Some stick around for a while.

Some are like me- a little like me. No one else has ever stuck around for more than a year or two out of sheer stubbornness, but they're good company. It's always nice to talk to the like-minded, even if they feel the pull of eternity after a while.

Some are simply dying slowly. Coma cases, certain diseases (especially mental ones, like Alzheimer's), more odd cases than I'd really rather know about. They're disconnected from the Earth, but not yet entirely. They're gone, but they're not gone. They flicker back, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. Sometimes they even go back...well, not permanently, that's not how that works, but persistently.

With so many wandering through, I decided that I should do something productive.

Hence my little café.

I could have made a fancy restaurant, or some sort of entertainment extravaganza, or even a strip club, being limited only by memory and imagination, but...no. Souls passing through don't want anything big or loud, they want...comfort. The ability to think. To ponder the greatest philosophical questions, on their own time, in their own way. The point of the café isn't the café itself, it's the journey you undertake while in it. Do you make peace with the afterlife as you find it? Do you move on?

Or do you, like me, find what you see imperfect, and strive, in whatever way you can, to make it better?

You run a café on the edge of life and death. Souls who have been departed from their bodies temporarily, such as in comas or near-death experiences, can relax in your quaint cafe for as long as they need before they can either return to their bodies or begin their journey to the afterlife.

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concupiscience · 11 months ago

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Critical theory has caused the west to be overly self-aware, to the extent that culture can no longer organically develop without obsessive comparison. Its tendency to dissect itself has left nothing but shards of thoughts, fragments of images that were once so tightly interwoven.

Therefore, we shouldn’t be concerned with the current popular trends, or even the forthcoming zeitgeist which is always visible over the waves of those successive trends, each obliterating the last in an endless cycle. Not now, not next, but what comes after that is our objective. What is unseen as of yet, that is our goal.

THE STARS THAT FLOG THE SEA WITH WHIPS OF LIGHT

NOT ME.

ecstatic rites of an elegant, ancient beauty

perishing under sickly skies

NEVER LOOK BACk

WHO FUCKING CARES

If u have formed some type of notion about me please just do us both a favor and just forget that shit because human beings are in a constant state of change

To taste every forbidden fruit,

松の木々を通る夕日の最後の光線寒さを逃れるために南へ飛ぶ鳥たちを照らす

You are limitless potential. You are the clay at the potter’s wheel.

Is this hell? This is definitely hell.

that dusk-tinged demigod

Industrial society operates under the presumption that resources are infinite

A triumphant, arrogant attitude may be necessary from time to time

The same moon my ancestors and descendants behold

We’re all hoes under the same blue sky

Ephemeral and fleeting as a smoke spirit

Having drunk deeply from the cup of sin

Spoiling the land with hubris and greed

Wow imagine that, In our modern society everything has to be done for money

I think you live longer when you have a good attitude. There’s cases where cancer goes into remission when a person starts believing they don't have it anymore. Likewise, there’s also cases of people dying on purpose from resigning their will to live, like those super old couples who die within days of each other. You can control your health with your mindset, at least that’s what I believe. If your mind is thriving your body is thriving. Right but we do have free will to influence our future. “The system cannot be sustained indefinitely ” Right. Like why did a religious impulse develop independently in every single ancient culture.

Media consumes us. Objects own us. Money spends us.

The flowers bloom without caring if they are observed.

Pattern-Matrix

Mass media, escapism, distraction, bread and circuses, whatever you want to call it. Recorded by studios with more money than some countries, packaged neatly for mass consumption. This is the result of capitalism working flawlessly for over a century. the spectator becomes a mere receptacle for media, they become a consumer, the same way food is consumed then comes out as waste, media consumes us. The more people are emotionally invested in fictional people and fictional worlds the easier it is to distract them from what’s happening in real life- the panopticon of modern life. Your superheroes, singers, actors, exist for one purpose only: to sell you a product. Through our complicity they buy our complacency. They have taught us to be satisfied with “what is” and not think about “what could be” because that’s just the way it is. They exist to sell us an image of what our lives and the world ought to be, and we stupidly buy into it. It’s a drug we regularly take.There’s nothing wrong with enjoying movies, TV, books, music etc but you have to realize what is illusion and what is real. When you watch anything, imagine the processes that go into its production. Could this potentially be used to manipulate people into feeling a certain way? Is this fact or does it reflect the views of its creator? All I’m saying is that if you unplug from this “machine” things seem much more relative.

we are bound to our era. we cannot escape the present.

The notion of a grand, divine scheme negates the possibility of free will. If God does have a plan for everyone, that would mean we only have the illusion of free will.

Tragic figures such as these

Traditions everywhere are dying, we must forge new ones

Wholly effaced by time

Writ large

Pastoral vibes

I believe there are multiple paths to God. The fact that religion has sprung up independently in so many places over so vast a distance is incredible. Jesus and Buddha weren’t so different in their teachings.

Some got it more right than others, obviously.

So there is actually very compelling evidence that early Christianity was heavily influenced by similar savior-centered religious sects such as Mithraism, Orphism and the veneration of Dionysus (they all belong to the subset of Rising-and-dying gods). We know for certain that in Alexandria, an extremely important centre for early Christianity, Buddhist monks taught at the library of Alexandria around the time of jesus.

Wine was central to the rituals of Dionysus, who was believed to have died and been resurrected.

The real importance is that Jesus and Buddha were real historical figures that established schools of thought that endured for millennia.

They both preached the importance of virtue and morality, sympathy for the suffering and acceptance of the transitory nature of the material world.

The library itself was mostly intact until the 260s AD when it was burned by Aurelian.

There is ample evidence of eastern thought circulating in the near east around the time of christ. Statues of hindu gods were found in Pompeii, in Alexandria itself a tombstone with the Wheel of Dharma was discovered, in the port city of myos hormos in Egypt a sail cloth of Indian manufacturing was discovered. The trade routes between judea and the east were active until the 4th century AD.

Theres a Christian tradition that the apostle Thomas died in India where the church he established still exists.

Paganism is an umbrella term for anything that isn’t Christianity, or more accurately the animistic traditions that predate monotheism.

Judaism is fascinating because we have proof it originally was polytheistic. It’s totally Canaanite in origin but over time yahweh was promoted to the status of one true god. The painted pottery from Kuntillet Ajrud Shows yahweh and Asherah (later ishtar, aphrodite) as his consort.

Religions dont appear from nowhere. They’re the product of thousands of years of tradition, thought, and self reflection.

Do you believe the bible refutes evolution?

I dont think it does either. Those seven days of creation are metaphorical. The bible says our lives are like a single breath of god. Which implies he operates on a much longer timescale than humans. So the space between the first and last days of creation could have been billions of years for all we know.

Because the second to last thing he did was to create humans. Evolutionarily, anatomically modern humans first emerged in east Africa around 100,000 years ago. The first stirrings of human culture were around 20,000 years ago. The pyramids were only built 4000 years ago. Rome was only 2000 years ago. We can’t even comprehend how early on in our journey thru the universe we are.

A mere blip in the cosmic timescale. We might not even survive another million years.

I’m tired of getting hurt

旅に病んで夢は枯れ野をかけめぐる

Falling ill on a journey my dreams go wandering over withered fields

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rethesun · 3 years ago

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#I don't want whatever this century of couples and singles and real people have in their love lives. I want what Jeresa has in QOTS.#A slow burn.#They touch all the time for work and survival reasons but they don't intentionally brush shoulders for personal reasons until season 2.#They care about each other's safety and pretend they don't much care for each other's company until they can't deny their feelings anymore.#Put their lives on the line repeatedly for each other.#It’s complete trust honesty attentiveness an out-of-this-world gentleness respect understanding boundaries humor #and the simple seemingly small things including all the annoying frustrating stuff that screams married energy.#The attitude they give each other #The vulnerability that no one else has the pleasure of experiencing #Confirmation like: You don't have to be ashamed and hide anything from me. I accept and love all that you are.#You've seen me at my worst and some of my worst lasted a few years yet you still love me more each day.#They don't get in the way of each other's growth and change instead they support it #They repeatedly choose a life with each other even though it's likely to become more dangerous and complex over time #and no guarantee of a happy ending with a romance between them.#Still they both accept that because to them it's not settling. It's a sacrifice for the protection of the other.#It's our heartbeats and breathing going in sync when we enter the same room.#They can surprise each other even years later by how much the other person cares and how far they are willing to go for each other.#It’s entire conversations without words just by seeing the different looks on each other's faces.#It's damn we earned such a place in each other's lives and both feel extreme gratitude for it #It’s I crumble and worship you when we finally make love again.#It's mutual giggles smiles and laughs during sex #From ordinary moments to life altering ones the looks are the same.#They often look at each other as though it's the first time they realize they are in love #and don't ever want to lose each other and can't imagine a life where the other isn't in this world.#It’s both of them being most at peace with everything in life when they are together.#Queen of the South #james valdez #teresa mendoza #teresa x james #jeresa

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transgenderer · 2 years ago

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Lately I've had this feeling like...okay, capitalism, as practiced, is horrific, much the way that communism, as practiced, was/is horrific. We are yet to develop an unhorrific society, fingers crossed we figure it out one of these days. BUT I think in the same way that there's a noble ideal behind communism I think there's a noble ideal behind capitalism? And like, I can totally respect not caring about that ideal, because the reality is what matters, and you don't want to get caught up believing the shitty execution is the beautiful idea, but like...I care about that beautiful idea, a little.

There are a couple beautiful ideas about capitalism (or more generally market economies, capitalism was originally like specifically about *capital*, but ppl have been using capitalism to mean market economies for like. Literally a century now so whatever). The famous Adam Smith one is the idea that everyone working for their own best interest ends up almost miraculously coordinating to satisfy people's needs, in a very robust way, there's no single point of failure, the solution emerges from the interactions of a whole bunch of redundant pieces, and it adapts to new desires etc etc. Like a perfectly synchronized ballet with no choreographer on a constantly shifting stage...

Anyway so that's the common one but the more affecting one for me is the vision of a society where you don't need to be likable or unannoying or normal or whatever to have material support, you just need to be useful. And like I think to a certain sort of person that is an extremely comforting idea, and that's real and significant yknow?

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 6 months ago

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here are some other thoughts about the movie

the fact that Wolverine and company cause the Three Mile Island incident would, I guess, suggest that this movie takes place in 1979, assuming it happens at the same time as the real nuclear meltdown, but fuck if I could have guessed that otherwise. that movie could have taken place in 2009, the year it was released, and I'd only be mildly confused by the state of technology. does Wolverine seem like a man who has a phone? fuck no.

Gambit in particular was really dressed like a 21st century pickup artist, very skeevy. stupid little pervert hat. I kept expecting him to ask some woman if she wanted to see a magic trick but that would require letting any woman other than Wolverine's dead girlfriend have speaking lines.

also is she. I mean. her last name is Silverfox and she tells Wolverine a little First Nations story that parallels the plot of the movie but like. I mean her sister is Emma Frost, apparently. I mean I know there are extremely light-skinned and white-passing First Nations and Native people but like. what's her deal. also unrelated to her questionable ethnicity I though it was very funny that Wolverine, who has been to war several times and definitely knows what a dead body looks like, didn't even notice that she was only pretending to be dead. there literally wasn't a single wound on her. she was just laying in the grass covered in blood, no injuries. and then he just left her there??? to go fight his brother??? who somehow killed her by throwing blood on her??? HELLO

I think will.i.am and that man who was a walking fatphobic joke were boyfriends.

it's funny that Scott's in this movie just to have an awful time. really didn't have to be him, could have been any mutant kid. doesn't even really make sense that it's him, honestly. if we assume that the first X-Men movie takes place roughly the year it came out, 2000, and that Scott was between 14 and 18 in '79, then he should be in his mid to late thirties by X1: The First Mutanting. I guess James Marsden could have been playing older but it didn't really seem like Scott was meant to be a man pushing 40. but I guess the chance to kick him around like a football one more time was just too tasty to pass up.

we don't need to talk about Deadpool we all know what's wrong with Deadpool. I want to focus on Gambit again. got the vibes of a Vegas bartender who flirts WAY too hard with married couples staying at the hotel where he works. he saw them from across the bar and liked their vibes, how the tables have turned. I know he's from New Orleans and that's like his whole deal but he feels very Vegas, possibly because no one seems to have informed that actor that he was playing a Cajun.

the ending of this movie is just kind of an unrelenting shitshow. when Professor Chucklefuck Xavier showed up at the end in his little cuck helicopter to whisk the kids away I wanted to smack his bald head off I'm not even kidding. how long did he know about child experiment island before he did something about it. why the fuck did he wait until Wolverine and his girlfriend handled everything and were on the run/dead? thought you were supposed to take care of mutants, bud. his bitch ass can control entire crowds of people and you're telling me he couldn't just remote knock out every guard in the facility to waltz in there and let the kids out himself. this man is a monster. god I hate his stupid bitch ass so much.

and then there's Wolverine getting shot in the head so bad he forgets his entire backstory which is like. hello. how do you shoot a man point blank in the head in such a way that he maintains the ability to speak, move, know that he should run from the police, etc but he forgets every single personal detail about his life. it's like they had almost wrapped filming and then remembered at the last minute that Wolverine has amnesia in the first X-Men movie and it's like a pretty deal. uuuuh fuck it I don't know, shoot him in the head. whatever. presumably Sabertooth also wandered off and got a lobotomy some time in the intervening 30 years.

this movie is great everyone should watch it.

experienced little art film called X-Men Origins Wolverine last night and I have to say. textbook case of a movie trying so hard to be a manly dude action movie that it circles around to being extremely homoerotic. every man in that movie wants Logan carnally. Wade? goes without saying. Agent Zero? wants to kiss Wolverine so bad it makes him look stupid. Gambit? as far as I can tell Gambit only came back to save Wolverine's ass at the end so that they could make sweaty love on a shitty houseboat later. (you know Gambit has a houseboat, look at him.) unfortunately the most roiling tension of all was definitely between Wolverine and his brother who is Definitely Not The Same Sabertooth From The First Movie. jilted lover ass brother. woman scorned situation. I think genuinely Sabertooth might not have turned out like that if he and Wolverine had ever just made love in a WW1 foxhole.

#mutant posting

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kittymsmithwritesstuff · 3 years ago

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Which legends can draw

Okay for the record anything made by Horizon is very cute and in that weird liminal space where it isn't bad but it isn't good, almost Avant garde but with that touch of Mom™ that means if she does a little doodle on her kid's lunch bag they'll probably keep it.

Does that make sense? I don't care.

Anyway legends that can ACTUALLY draw.

Short answer: Bloodhound, Wattson, Bangalore, Rampart, Seer, Fuse, Valkyrie.

Long answer:

Bloodhound: Probably the best out of them all. Particularly good at animals, but has an almost eerie ability to capture people in pencil, almost a photograph without being photorealistic. With animals and people they have a knack for catching that one piece of movement that just makes them feel alive. This is because of many, many, many many hours spent alone in the wilderness, on hunts or other expeditions. They leave little notes by drawings of plants to record what is and isn't poisonous and have actually sent in some small sketches to help with identification of rare flora and fauna to scientific boards in Gaea. Most of their notes in their sketchbook are the little things they notice about people and animals, though.

Bangalore: Canonly she got like a B in art and I just see her super stylized. Not award winning, but bold. Uses really harsh, dark lines and is one of those people that instead of starting out with too many light tones starts out way too dark, but eventually develops a really interesting style similar to old-school comic books. Would draw for her little cousins but not really for her family members. Reflecting her style, her favorite thing was to draw comics even if she didn't read them much. She figured out she was gay when she realized she wasn't drawing naked women to "practice anatomy".

Wattson: This is also canon if you read the lore book, but spending a lot of time on her own with almost complete control of what she did with said time left Wattson to learn, well, whatever she wanted, and one of those things was how to draw. She got a couple tutorial books, looked it up on the internet, and developed a clean, methodical style. One of those people where she says something is a "sketch" and you kind of wanna punch hit her but she's too damn nice. She tends to draw on the "cutesy" side of things, looooves to draw chibi-like characters. Will often use drawings to cheer Wraith up in particular. (Wraith has kept every single one). She's not very good at drawing anything but people and clothing, and her cat, but she's trying to branch out.

Rampart: Yeah it's canon, I know. Street art to the core, main method is spray paint and it started because of all the cool tags and art she saw in Gaea growing up. When she started doing it herself instead of being mad about it, her parents made her promise not to get caught more than twice. They actually got her art lessons, too. They bored her to tears, but they were helpful. Anatomy always comes out a little wonky though. Did find out she liked acrylic so she will use that. Used to make a little side money doing window paintings for Christmas.

Seer: Art was a method of expression and stress relief for him. It's really out there, somewhere between Picasso and Dali most of the time, but he can do some really intense human figures-think Alexandre Cabanel or any intense emotional figures in art in the 19th century. It's mostly a therapy thing for him and a test of skill, so a lot of people don't know how good he is at it. Loba has one of his pieces on her ship.

Fuse: Got into drawing because it was an easy way to goof off during class without getting caught. Style lands somewhere between Bangalore and Bloodhound really-there's a lot of movement and life in what he draws, and he can whip it out real fast. Half drunk drawing on a napkin can be a very cool sketchy vibe, prefers urban landscapes and people and will typically add dialogue or titles he finds funny to his drawings. Maggie used to make fun of him for it, but when they got older she actually got him a sketch book one Christmas and he really went off with it. There's a very "homey" feeling to his drawings, and he's always happy to sketch something for a friend. Has never been shy about sharing his stuff. After Maggie died, Bloodhound told him to try keeping a journal to help process his thoughts, and it's turned into half journal half illustration of his day, feelings, thoughts, etc. Bloodhound is the only one that's ever seen inside that particular journal. Similarly, he's one of the only ones, besides Loba, that's seen their sketchbook.

Valkyrie: I can kinda see her into drawing, but strictly anime. Not because she's Japanese or anything but because she gives the vibe of some kids I knew in high school who were like, really good at art, but only anime art, and soon as they stepped out of that it was like anatomy had fallen with the Roman empire and everything just kind of looked off. This isn't meant to be a bad thing I just see her very, very specific and not one to branch out from that particular style or develop one of her own. Really good at stylized landscapes though, and is in fact overall very good at converting any person or thing into a sort of anime style (I don't know enough about the different ones to specify).

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chicago-geniza · 2 years ago

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Looked at the Polish Wikipedia page for "homosexuality in culture" because I'm a masochist, checked that it wasn't translated from English or a couple of other "Western European" lingua francas, seems to be original content, and I keep saying this tendency toward abstraction--one that I unfortunately share, but which can lapse into "homosexuality is a Western invention & a Western import, zgnivayushii zapad, Gayropa, etc." like a blunt instrument--is so evident in Jelonka's criticism? And it depends on the intent of the person wielding it. Miłosz complains about queer criticism as "reductive" because he's a bigot and an ass; nobody is saying that's the *only* dimension of those relationships, nobody is flattening them to a single aspect and calling it representative of the whole As Such, they're just observing an *additional* dimension that is often unrecognized or made invisible or concealed behind a subcultural cipher. The real journey of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes, as our fellow traveler Marcel put it. Jelonka also hates the synecdoche approach to subjectivity and potrzebuje wielość, she always pans out to Ontology. She's not denying the existence of whatever is there, she's just speaking in a vaster and more universal discourse. As she said to Maciej Nowak re: Jewishness--"I don't care to think in those categories, I never did, it never felt right to me." She knew Jerzy Zawieyski was gay, and she knew his partner well. She wouldn't name the specificity of his struggles aloud, but she visits Staś after his death, and she's the one who goes with him to say Mass for Jerzy on the anniversary every single year until Staś's own death. Just her. She doesn't say he grappled with his sexuality, she said he was "vulnerable, naive, unusually so, he would fly to great heights and plunge into deep despair, and I was one of the few people in our circle who was completely honest with him, so he never lied to me." I am so 19th century-pilled and terminally Eastern European about this but I've been getting so attached to extremely private, extremely proper old women whose speech is an exercise in disclosure by means of circumlocution and discretion. It makes me want to study classical rhetoric

#jelonka tag

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ibroughtyoumybullets · 4 years ago

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You said not to ask so please ignore this if you don't want to explain, but could you elaborate on your March 19th / May 1st theory? thanks!

ahfkafhksfh yeah no problem. its not a theory its just ... brain worms that have taken a specific shape but thats not new this is just the latest form. under a cut because i hate like. getting peoples hopes up over something ive entirely made up

greentext format but make it wordy

> i think frank has been like. suspicious lately. i dont know how to explain it beyond that. he’s done a LOT of press-but-not-press in the last month or so. sure, he’s definitely bored and stuck in his house like the rest of us, and he had a new EP come out, and the EP is technically the reason for the press. but it also ... isnt. like the bulk of it has been AFTER the EP came out, and none of it has been wholly focused on the EP. and to me, at least, it feels like, i dont know, easing the band back into public consciousness thru a press circuit without the band ACTUALLY doing a press circuit because MCR been pretty hard and fast about the ‘we dont need or want ur press’ when it comes to the reunion.

> continuing off the last one, in the ... jim ward interview he did, i think? one of the more recent ones, at least - he got asked about his writing process and mentioned working with gerard in present tense. very very likely it meant nothing at all, but also like ... i dont trust him LOL part of me thinks it was on purpose. Im just suspicious of him after the broken clock thing.

> not only did frank mention working with gerard in the present tense, for Months now, but especially during his recent mini press tour, frank has been really vague but consistent in talking about working with people on music remotely. id have to go looking for it and i dont feel like it, but it’s been something along the lines of ‘working with new people And people you know’. suspitcheous.

> ONTO GERARD. Gerard like never uses social media. but then a couple days ago he pops up to mention franks EP (which is sweet) and makes sure to sign it so its like, obviously not something his social media manager wrote up for him. and in that post he mentions being down in the lab. and LORD KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK THAT MEANS besides the fact that he’s working on something. but hey, its gerard, when isnt he.

> But Gerard’s also doing that charity stream on the 2nd. and we havent seen gerard in MONTHS. since august, maybe? and he’s not just speaking, hes PERFORMING. besides the shrine show, the last time he performed was for the muppet charity thing with ray in 2016, and before that, it was the last hes alien leg in 2015. None of us even expected him to perform when it got announced - it had to be confirmed by the event organizers. and that just ... pings something in my brain, same as franks little press tour. It’s gerard emerging from his cave, Being A Musician, you know?

> SPEAKING of the last time we saw gerard, he teased us back in the summer by mentioning that he has something he’s been working on thats not comic book related that he cant talk about. maybe its a fucking line of hot sauces or a tripp collaboration.

> Or maybe its music.

> this is where we depart from reality a little bit more:

> this has been trotted out again and again on here as a talking point, and i dither between agreeing with it or not, but: MCR spent two years planning their return. they had a plan, for whatever the fuck was supposed to happen - even if all that was supposed to happen was the tour.

> and their plan got pissed on, doused in gasoline, set on fire, extinguished, and thrown into the mouth of a lion. But They Had A Plan. And theyve been fucking radio silent except the hipdot collab, and before that, rescheduling shows. I ASSUME their almost-year of silence has been them, in part, reformulating their plan. Changing whatever it was going to be to fit the new timeline, or making a back up plan in case things get worse.

> But the original plan had them all free - as far as we know - after november of 2020. so they wouldnt have had active MCR stuff happening for the national anthem comic book release, the electric century album + comic release, the you look like death tua comic release. But those things still happened, because they didnt require having to be in the real world where the plague is.

> so, what the worms hinge on, is that whatever the New Plan Is, Whatever They Are Doing Now, it involves waiting until all their obligations and projects that SHOULDNT have interfered with MCR stuff - but had to the potential to because of covid - ended.

> and thats now. thats the next couple weeks. you look like death just finished up, mikeys album and comic are out, and national anthem finishes up in like a week in a half.

> and then theres nothing (that we know of) until the rescheduled shows happen, or *knocks thrice on wood* they have to reschedule again.

> and this is where we really enter crazy town:

> so i was thinking about all of these things, and the imagery / themeing for the return (what little we got of it) and how a year ago everybody was pulling out the wheel of the year trying to figure out what they would do next, and when.

> and March 20th (i know i said march 19th originally, i’ll get into that) is Ostara.

> if youre not vaguely witchy, its basically a festival for the spring equinox. light and dark are in balance, yadda yadda yadda. and i could go into full on insane depth about the black and white aspects of the return, the witchiness of an offering + a summoning but i wont. it boils down to: its the closest festival to when all of MCR’s calendars are clear as far as we know, and its almost a year to date of when they had to reschedule the shows.

> and March 19th is a Friday. which is new music release day. Ostara / the equinox are technically on saturday, but its at 5am on saturday morning so ... technicalities.

> so the worms in my brain say new single on march 19th. or Something on march 19th. or 20th. one of those days.

> and the worms in my brain also say MCR are a bunch of cruel little shits, and theyre gonna make us wait before they give us anything substantial.

> so we move to May 1st.

> May 1st is also known as May Day, also known as Beltane. (We’re back to the wheel of the year for this one) Its the halfway point between the spring equinox and the summer solstice. And its a Saturday. which is NOT new music release day - but hey, its close enough.

> may day is also like, similar to halloween / samhain in that the veil is supposed to be thinner on those days, and i think theres a connection the imagery and over-all plan wise between coming back on halloween, and possibly doing something on mayday. i dont think they just came back on halloween as a birthday present to frank.

> so second single on may day, or album? or announcement that theres gonna BE an album? maybe they wont give us a single on ostara but just tease us with something. i dont know. but i think theres something here.

> im aware this was a lot of words and i basically gave you nothing, but i can only give you what the worms give to me.

> sorry for being the way i am. hope this helped.

#Anonymous #asks #anon

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that-crazy-five-foot-two-chick · 3 years ago

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Me, at 6am, having stayed up all night writing 5k words: I never want to write again. Or at least not for a couple weeks.

Also me: OMGOSH THIS SONG WOULD BE SO GREAT FOR A PREQUEL FIC

Still me: ಠ∀ಠ

So yeah, I've been simmering this idea for a month or two now. It can be read as a standalone, but is meant as a prequel to my other fic, Blind Trust. The song is Waste It on Me by Steve Aoki ft. BTS and you should totally give it a listen!

Hurt/comfort, 1.1k words

Moving Saeran into the bunker was a deceptively difficult task. Mostly because he had limited possessions, clothes that wouldn't even fill a backpack, and, to top it all off, no bed to sleep in. So, the twins left to go shopping for necessities, leaving Vanderwood and MC to deal with the chaos of the bunker. They tackled various tasks to attempt to clean up the place as best they could, but eventually, there was only so much more that could be done without the items from the shopping trip. Naturally, then, the only thing to do was steal Saeyoung's snacks and collapse on his couch. After munching for a few minutes, Vanderwood broke the silence.

"I've got to ask. How on earth did you deal with all of the insanity—Saeran, the crazy woman, that blue-haired man, even Sev-Saeyoung—without losing your mind entirely?"

MC's face forced itself into a small smile. "Let's just say I have experience dealing with dysfunctional people."

Vanderwood hummed. "I won't ask unless you want to tell me."

She sighed. "It's not like it's not all in the past now. It's just not fun to talk about too much. Long story short, I've had one too many bad exes. One was a liar and a cheater. Another seemed nice until you realized he was a manipulative little snake—actually, that's an insult to snakes. Another expected me to just give up all my career plans to be his good little housewife. You get the idea. So yeah, I figure dealing with the dysfunctional is just a part of my life now, and I haven't dated for a while for good reason. At this point, trying to find 'love', whatever that means, is just a waste of my time."

"Well, first of all, I don't know how no decent men have seen your strength of character or your kindness despite the absolute trainwreck your circumstances seem to keep being."

MC snorted, but Vanderwood held up a finger before she could open her mouth. "Second of all, I know I'm the last person you should ask about love, but I do know this. Real love isn't like that. I hate to use Saeyoung as any sort of example, but I'm going to anyway. He may not have gotten much right, but joining the agency to keep Saeran safe was the real stuff, even if it didn't go as planned. Sacrifice just so that the other could live a better life, finding each other again under absurd circumstances, learning enough about each other to be able to come to a truce, finding ways to compromise. It may not be the same kind of love, but that's what love is, MC. Each giving all for the good of the other."

"Wow," MC finally managed to get out. "I guess it's been a while since that sort of thing even occurred to me. But it's not like it matters anyway, since I'm not likely to find anyone who's even decent to me, much less has that kind of mindset. So like I said, it's just a waste of time."

Vanderwood growled in frustration. "Why is it so hard for you to believe that you deserve good things and that those things aren't unrealistic?" He ran a hand through his hair. "Why do you think it's such a waste of your time if you know what you want and what you don't want and if it could make you happy?"

"Because I've lived over a quarter of a century and not seen it once, Vanderwood!" Her voice broke. "Not once."

He gritted his teeth. "Fine then, MC. Fine. If love is nothing more than just a waste of your time, why not waste it on me?"

His jaw dropped at the realization of the words that had just fallen from his lips. MC's eyes widened.

"Uh—I mean—"

"I don't know what to say. I've just...been single for so long that I don't even know what it feels like to have feelings for someone anymore. But I mean, you're attractive and all that. And quite honestly, you reminded me today of what love even looks like. So I think that's a good place to start."

"I...don't even know how to respond to that. I didn't even plan to ask you out today, much less expect that I'd get a positive response. I have to warn you, though, we won't be on even ground." MC groaned, but Vanderwood continued, "We won't be on even ground because you hadn't even considered dating me until today, whilst I couldn't shake my admiration for you since the moment you first opened your mouth. Believe me, I wanted to. But I couldn't ignore the grace and strength with which you handled the insanity involved in dismantling Mint Eye and the agency, one right after the other. It also didn't help that you were absolutely beautiful, either."

"Vanderwood, you know I can't promise anything serious. I'm willing to try, but you know my history. I have too many trust issues to be able to commit to anyone anytime soon."

"Well, I think that's something that I can match you pretty evenly in. I've been taught never to trust anybody. If I did, I could be a major liability to a mission. Because of this, if you'll excuse the invasion of privacy, I had Saeyoung scour your background in every way I could think of, because there was no way you were as good as you seemed. Yet, you came back clean. Absolutely normal. So while I know it's something I'm going to have to consciously work on, I'm willing to trust you as a person and trust your judgement. You can take whatever time you need, and I will put no pressure on you to commit to anything. But," he looked her in the eye, "don't think for a second that I'll treat you with any less respect and care than you deserve just because you can't promise commitment yet. Do you understand?"

MC's eyes welled up in spite of herself. "Yeah," she sniffed. "I'm. I'm just not used to this, you know? But I won't try to be flaky with you just because we're starting out with a casual relationship, either. I hope you understand where I'm coming from."

He pursed his lips. "I may not understand firsthand what you've gone through, but I've dealt with a lot of seedy men over my career, and I know what they're like. I also know that simply saying I won't be like them won't convince you, but I will do my utmost to prove it to you through my actions."

"Okay."

"Waste it on me?"

She smiled. "Yeah."

#my fic #my writing #mystic messenger #mysme #mysme fic #mysme vanderwood #vanderwood x mc

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kiwiimmellon134 · 4 years ago

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TURN IT OFF — PART ONE

summary — in which a gemini wedding doesn’t go as planned

word count — somewhere around 2.5k

paring(s) — vampire!poe dameron x fem!witch!reader / rey x warlock!ben solo

warning(s) — angst, a wedding, blood

notes — heavily based off of jo and alaric satlzman’s wedding scene from the vampire diaries. also the solo twins are in this so ben and kylo are different people in this

The wedding of Ben Solo and Rey was an event you worked your ass off to plan. Even though you was a witch, a wedding was something you wanted to plan naturally. No magic involved. Being a Gemini witch, however, did have its perks but it have many more disadvantages.

You were not born a twin, however Ben was a twin. They weren't 22 yet, which meant they were safe. But when they do turn 22, Ben and his twin would have to do something called the Merge. It's when two Gemini twins merge their magic. It's a battle of will and power.

The strongest twin will absorb the other twin's magic while the weaker twin dies. Then the victorious twin will lead the Gemini coven until the next line of Gemini twins are born. Now, Ben's twin— Kylo Ren— was put into a prison world because Kylo killed his foster family.

He was a sociopath. And the Gemini's locked him away. Ben and Lysa lived their lives free of Kylo Ren's shadow. Ben met Rey through you and they fell in love. You also had your own fair share of love with Poe Dameron.

You exhaled quietly and rubbed your hands together nervously, looking at the altar you prepared. You were wearing your bridesmaid's dress since you were the maid of honor. The dress was a nice lavender color and nearly touched the floor.

"Hey," A voice said from behind you. You turned around and smiled, already knowing who the voice belonged to. "Hi," You replied. Poe Dameron walked up to you, "You look nervous."

"It's not even my wedding and I'm anxious," You joked, laughing softly. Poe sighed happily and moved a strand of your hair behind your ear, "It's beautiful. Almost as beautiful as you."

You scoffed, "Get your twentieth century pick up lines out of here," You smiled.

"Oh come on, that line would've killed in the 90's," Poe replied.

"It's not the 90's, babe," You countered. You and Poe leaned in for a kiss. Another voice shouted your name, making you and Poe pull away from each other. Ben Solo beamed happily and walked up to his cousin.

"Hey, Ben," You smiled, hugging him.

"It's beautiful. You outdone yourself," Ben replied, hugging you back. You shook her head and pulled away from Ben, "It was nothing."

"So," Ben asked, looking over Poe and you, "When are you two gonna seal the deal?"

"We can't," You said softly. You and Poe looked at each other sadly and then Ben frowned, "Right."He said, "I'm sorry I forgot. He's immortal. And you're not."

"Yeah..." Poe mumbled.

"But that doesn't mean we don't love each other," You said, trying to lighten the mood again. "Right, Poe?" You asked, looking up at him and grabbing his hand.

"Of course," Poe answered, interlocking his fingers with yours.

"I'm gonna go finish getting ready," Ben said, "It's good to see you both." You and Poe smiled and Ben left you two alone.

"We could still do it," You said once Ben was out of earshot. Poe shook his head, "I'm not letting you throw away your magic for me. You love being a witch."

"Yes, but I love you too," You replied, letting go of his hand and turning her body to face him. "And if being with you means I have to give up my magic... Then fine. I'll give up my magic."

"Can-Can we talk about this later?" Poe asked. You nodded in agreement, "Yeah... The-The wedding starts soon... So... I need to go find Rey and make she's ready."

"Hey," Poe said softly, "Just because I don't want to turn you doesn't mean I don't love you." You nodded, "I know. You're just thinking about what would happen after... And I understand. It's risky turning a Gemini witch."

"I love you," Poe said.

"I love you too," You replied. You backed away from Poe and walked down the hallway toward the dressing rooms. You opened the doors and saw Rose fixing Rey's hair.

"Hi," Rose said, looking over her shoulder. You smiled, "Hi." You moved next to Rey, "How you feeling?" You asked.

"Good. I feel fine," Rey replied.

"That's good." You said softly.

"What about you?" Rey asked, "Are you okay? You don't sound happy."

You shook her head and smiled, "It's nothing."

"No," Rose spoke up, "What wrong?"

"It's just... Me and Poe, I guess." You replied.

"Is everything okay between you two?" Rey asked, worried. You nodded again, "Yeah... We're fine. I think we're good."

"You sure?" Rey questioned, "You've been acting weird ever since you agreed to plan the wedding."

"It's just..." You shrugged, "I might not get to do this. So... If I can help my friends do this then... That's enough for me."

"Right," Rose nodded in understanding, "He's immortal and you're not." Rey sighed and turned around, causing Rose to drop her hands from Rey's hair.

"Is that why you're upset?" Rey asked, grabbing your hands. "Because you and Poe might not have the chance to live a normal life?"

"I want a life with him. I really do... But... Normal just seems weird when it comes to our current lives." You answered. You sighed and smiled weakly at Rey, "I'm happy for you."

"I know you're happy for me," Rey replied, "But I know right now you're not happy. Have you talked to Poe about this?"

You nodded, "Yeah... We've talked about it." You shook her head and pulled her hands away from Rey's. "You're getting married. We're not talking about my relationship until after you've said 'I do'." You said.

About an hour later and the wedding was about to start. The sun had gone down and the moon was just rising. You were talking to Poe while drinking a glass of champagne. You finished your glass and waited in the back for the music to start.

Ben was standing by the reverend in the front, waiting for the ceremony to start.

Everyone began finding their seats and you exhaled shakily. "You ready?" Poe asked, handing you a small bouquet of flowers. You nodded and took the flowers from his hands.

"Yeah. Let's do this." You replied. The music started playing and you and Poe hooked your arms together and walked down the aisle. You and Poe unhooked their arms and walked to opposite sides of the altar.

Finn and Rose walked out after them and then did the same thing you and Poe did. After a moment, Rey appeared in the doorway and walked down the aisle. She smiled at Ben as she got closer and he happily returned the favor.

Rey walked up the small flight of stairs and in front of Ben. They turned to each other. "Welcome family and friends on this magical evening," The reverend began. "To the wedding of Ben Solo and Rey. I believe Ben and Rey have prepared their own vows."

Rey turned to you and you stepped forward and took the bouquet of flowers from Rey's hand and backed up again. Rey and Ben grabbed each other's hands.

Ben cleared his throat, "Neither of us should be here right now. We've spent our live dodging fate... And beating the odds. But because we did... I got to meet you. The most beautiful, hilarious, and intimidatingly brilliant woman I have ever known. You've inspired me. You've shown me that happiness is actually something that I can have in my life."

You glanced past Rey and Ben and met eyes with Poe. You smiled at him and he smiled back. "And so," Ben pulled the ring out from his pocket, "I promise to be with you and love you and dodge fate with you..."

Ben picked up Rey's hand and slid the ring up her finger, "For the rest of our lives."

Rey smiled as a single tear rolled down her cheek. Ben beamed at her and Rey couldn't keep her smile back. "Rey?" The reverend asked.

"Oh God," Rey said, "That's gonna be tough to beat." Rey sighed softly and grabbed Ben's hands, "Here goes. You are—"

Suddenly the doors flew open, catching everyone's attention. Kylo Ren stepped into the room and looked around.

"Oh my God," You whispered shakily.

"How are you here!?" Anakin Skywalker shouted, standing up.

"It took my forever, but I finally escaped your prison world," Kylo said.

Ben put a protective arm out toward Rey. "I was gonna wait until the 'till death do us part' bit, but... Seemed a little on the nose." Kylo added.

"Anyways, you all should watch what you put in your drinks. You don't know who could link all the Gemini's together." Kylo pulled out a knife and stabbed his hand. You exclaimed in pain, as did all the other Gemini's in the room.

You looked down at her hand and saw blood coming from her palm, although there was no wound, the pain felt too real. Ben winced and Rey looked at Kylo then Ben fearfully.

"What are you doing?" Katnina Arami asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Kylo asked, "I'm killing you all." Kylo raised his hand and a loud ringing echoed in everyone's head causing them to scream in pain. Nearly half of the people in the room passed out from the pain. Kylo jerked his hand, causing the window to shatter inwards.

Kylo turned the knife on himself and stabbed himself in the heart. You screamed in pain, as did Ben along with the Gemini's in the room. "No!" Poe shouted. He used his vampire speed to get to you before your body hit the floor.

"Oh my God!" Rose shouted.

"Ben!" Rey yelled.

Poe bit into his wrist and held the open wound to your lips, "Come on, drink it. Come on..." Poe mumbled. You slowly grabbed Poe's wrist and pulled it closer to your mouth, drinking a couple drops of his blood to try and heal you.

Rose rushed down to Ben and Rey and tried to stop the bleeding from Ben's chest. "Why isn't she healing?!" Poe asked, turned to look at Rose.

"I think their lives are linked to Kylo's. Whatever happens to him happens to her and them..." Rose explained, crying softly. "I don't know what to do... I'm sorry."

Poe looked back down at you, "No, no, no, no. You're not dying." Poe said softly, "Not like this."

You coughed up some blood and cried in pain. "It's okay, I'm here," Poe said. Finn hurried to Poe and you as best as he could.

"It's..." You whispered, "It's okay..."

Poe brought you closer to him, "You're not dying like this," He said softly. You slowly moved her hand on top of his, "It's okay..." You managed to say softly, "I love you..."

"I love you too..." Poe replied, moving your hair from your face, "I love you too..." Poe could hear your heartbeat slowing down by the second.

"Ben..." Rey cried, her hands on either side of his face. "I'm sorry..." Ben whispered weakly. You exhaled softly and her hand fell from Poe's and onto the ground. Ben's head turned to the side and he closed his eyes.

"No!!" Rey screamed. Rose wrapped her arms around Rey in a comforting hug.

"Hey..." Finn spoke softly to Poe. Poe shook his head and lifted you up to him, he cried into your shoulder. Finn put a comforting hand on Poe's shoulder while also trying not to cry himself.

Poe pulled away from your corpse and looked around at the damage. There were dead bodies scattered around and glass littered on the floor. Then, you gasped for air and Poe looked down.

Finn, Rose, and Rey turned their heads in confusion. You coughed and groaned in pain.

"Holy crap..." Finn whispered.

"How are you here?" Poe asked softly, cupping the side of your jaw. You winced in pain and Poe saw a glimpse of what looked like vampire fangs.

Then he remembered you died with his blood in your system. "You need human blood." Poe said softly.

"Poe, what just happened?" Rose asked.

"She died with my blood in her system. She's in transition. She needs human blood." Poe said. Rose turned around and offered up her bloody hand, "Here."

Poe gently grabbed Rose's hand and led it to you. You looked at Rose's hand, smelling the blood on it. "It's okay. You need this to survive." Poe coaxed.

You took Rose's hand and licked a stripe of blood on the side of her thumb. Rose pulled her hand away and your eyes turned red and grey veins ran down from the bottom of your eyes.

"Poe?" You asked softly.

Poe helped you sit up. You looked around and barely remembered what happened before you died. You thought this was all a nightmare and you would wake up soon.

"What... What happened?" You asked.

But you were wrong.

"I'm sorry." Poe began, "Kylo came and he... He killed the entire Gemini coven by linking them together with some linking spell."

You shook her head in disbelief. You couldn't believe it. Your family was dead? Your witch coven was dead? Killed by someone you thought they handled a long time ago?

"No..." You shook her head, "No, no, no. You're..." You wanted to say 'lying' but you knew they were telling the truth.

"I'm so sorry, baby..." Poe said softly. Then Poe remembered what it's like being a newly turned vampire. "Hey," Poe said, gently grabbing the sides of your face, making you look at him.

"Listen to me, every emotion you're feeling right now it's heightened. It's bad, I know. You're feeling a lot of pain, right?" Poe asked. Now that he mentioned it, you did feel a lot of pain.

Your chest hurt, physically and metaphorically. Physically from being magically stabbed and metaphorically from your heart aching from losing your family.

Your mouth hurt. It was probably the vampire fangs growing in but damn did it hurt.

What you couldn't feel was your magic. It was the one thing you would have to give up to become a vampire. Your magic. You couldn't be a witch and a vampire at the same time. "But, you're gonna get through it, okay?" Poe added.

You had no idea what to do. You wanted to scream and cry. You wanted revenge. But the person that killed you and the Gemini's was already dead. You needed someone to blame. You thought it'd be easier to blame someone.

But you couldn't find anyone to blame. You pulled away from Poe and turned toward the ruins. You stood up on wobbly legs and Poe helped you stand on your own.

Behind you, Rose, and Finn stood up on their feet and watched the two vampires while Rey stayed by Ben's body. You took a couple steps forward before you turned back around.

"Why did this happen?" You asked, tears falling from your eyes.

"I don't know," Poe replied.

"They're all dead." You said, "My coven... My family. What am I supposed to do now?" You asked.

"I don't know what to do," You continued, "How am I supposed to— They were... I-I can't... I don't know how to..." You trailed off.

You began sobbing as you fell to your knees, overwhelmed with all kinds of emotions. Poe rushed to you and hugged you, bringing you close to him which allowed you to cry into his chest.

"I know... I'm sorry..." Poe whispered, stroking your hair.

#poe dameron x you #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron #star wars #writing #au

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elenatria · 5 years ago

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It seems hard to find Valoris content, or appreciation posts of Valery. Even in Tumblr where the craziest fandoms are created there's so many people offended that one better don't ask... But something tells me you got some sources, fics, arts, posts, whatever... Would you share it with the world? :D

Is Valoris content so hard to find? o__O Oh dear.. *still lives in denial*

Ok a couple of days ago I asked Valoris writers to tag their fics on Ao3 with #valoris as well because “Chernobyl” or “Boris Shcherbina” can be too general.

I get pm’s or submissions for some Valoris fics, headcanons and art almost on a daily basis and I make sure I reblog *everything* I’m linked to. So maybe you should go to my archive from May-June and check out all the links I posted or reblogged. It could be links or texts so maybe you can filter those to find what you’re looking for. It’s all there, the fics I was sent and the art I happened to find as well as some edits (the gif sets are easier to find I guess).

My own posts about Valoris can be found mainly in my anon asks (not the nasty ones, watch out for those, they bite) because I rarely sit down to write meta on my own, too lazy.

As far as I know the people who write Valoris fics are @johnlockismyreligion, @gwinny3k @feanope @theemptycollection @pottedmusic and @pocketfullofteeth (guys sorry for tagging you, if anyone wants to be removed from the list let me know). Bear in mind that those are ONLY the writers with whom I happen to talk privately so I know about their work. I never go to the tag because it’s a cesspool so yeah, I know I miss out on a LOT. So please, the rest of the Valoris writers I don’t know of, bear with me. T__T No time to be a proper Valoris reader plus the tags are soiled.

Yeah I don’t even know how tumblr turned from a platform where people were free to express themselves creatively, a place where kink shaming is NOT supposed to be tolerated, into an arena where people cannibalize each other for no reason, a free platform for hate speech. A gallows for witches basically. And apparently people will always be looking for witches everywhere. When they run out of sane arguments against stuff that is indeed illegal as well as immoral (e.g. pedophilia) they’ll find other bs reasons to hate on a pairing or tell you “don’t ship RPF because it makes me uncomfortable” (true story).

Who caaaaaaaaares what makes you uncomfortable. Curate your own internet experience and block without having to be a dick about it. If I cared about people’s every single opinion I would never leave my goddamn house.

You know my theory? Most of those angry Valoris antis are people from 18 to 23 who cannot process the fact that some of us fancy older men. Another reason might be what I call The Jared Harris Possessiveness. They’ve loved him since The Terror so they consider themselves his “original fans” (contrary to us) and somehow it felt “okay” when they were shipping REAL PEOPLE WHO JUST HAPPENED TO DIE MORE THAN A CENTURY AGO AND HAD TO GO THROUGH EXTREME HARDSHIP, MENTAL AND PHYSICAL TORTURE but I guess it’s ok because they wear reefer jackets and nekerchiefs and (here comes the most absurd argument of all) “they didn’t die to save humanity like the Chernobyl guys”. They died horrible deaths though, very real ones. So it’s ok to ship them? I guess?…

So my guess is that their being jealous of “these new Jared fans” makes them come up with the most wtf reasons to have collective aneurysms over Valoris. Maybe they feel left out, they can’t join the party because somehow their “morality” compels them to “not ship real people”. Absurd I know but I’m not an expert to give a full diagnosis.

As for my advice for you to have a smooth Valoris experience in here without having to step on anti-Valoris landmines in the Chernobyl tag, I have a big list of vocal antis. Anyone who wants to block them can pm me. It’s too easy.

#valoris #hbo #valery legasov #boris shcherbina #valoris fanfiction #valoris fanart #archive #anon asks #witch hunt #gallows #landmines #block #anti culture #antis #the terror #francis crozier #jared harris #chernobyl #blocklist

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oldsoulobjective · 2 years ago

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A Think Piece on Love

Love? I've recently begun to read All About Love by Bell Hooks, and it's got me thinking not just about love, but what it's supposed to be. At my young, yet old, age of 20, I've begun to question everything I've previously learned. When I first came to college I thought I had found some convulsed version of love. But that's because that was all I knew, this perverted masculine version of love. A plot in a movie, the first glance from a stranger, or that seemingly perfect couple on Instagram. That's not love, but, growing up with a single mom ,and an absentee father, didn't exactly tell me what love was actually supposed to look like, all I had was fantasy.

Now the real problem with that fantasy, wasn't the existence of it but it's perspective. I had watched my mother my whole childhood, date men who she could care for, yet never seemed to care for her, at least in the ways she needed. She would take pride in the fact she could become exactly what they needed, until she realized she didn't want to. Mirroring my mother, I'd come to find that love for me becomes something I have to earn not that I'm given. So to explain, my recent experience with love, romantic love at least, it's quite simple. I became addicted to trying to prove myself, worthy of a place in someone else's life, which is unfair to not only them, but especially me. To make a long story short, because that's not really what this is about, I loved someone more than they ever even thought about me. Now in society, love is such a strong, and heavy, word it no longer carries the same positive connotation it used to, and I think it's because heartbreak in the 21st century it's hard to truly know what love is, but boy did I think I had it figured out. As to be assumed, it didn't work out, for many reasons, the biggest one being he simply just didn't like me. But, in my own ethnocentric way, it took me so long to fathom why that was.

If I loved, and intensently desired this person so much, why didn't it work out? I know, I'm crazy, but there was this voice in the back of me head, telling me this was my one and only shot at true love, and if I couldn't make him love me, no one ever would, or I wouldn't ever want anyone to be in love again. It was the manifestation of the endless extentil pressure I put on myself, that I couldn't even live up to. The pain of love felt meaningless, and once this voice had become silent, I'd realized that love can't be controlled, more importantly something that can't be rushed. I've always been a quick person, rather impulsive or unmoving, and I found myself impulsively choosing to try and force someone to show up for me.

I found myself having a conflict with two different people, none of them being the person of my interest. Instead, there was one person inside of my telling me to fight to let go, and another telling me something would give. However, the person who was fighting to let go, the person writing this now, and the same person who's decided to look in the mirror. Unbottling all these emotions I had for fear of upsetting other people, or being honest with myself, dismissed a lot of emotions that would've helped me process this, and take myself out of that cycle. Most of all though, I've dismissed a lot of people who I thought were going to break my heart again.

I'm learning to let that go though, this idea what I think love should be, and instead trying to fulfill, and understand, whatever love means to me. I don't have it totally figured out yet, in any capacity. Love for me is unknown, unexplored, but I there's an urge to dive into the vastness of love, to experience all it's quirks and kinks, and work every single one of them out. The impossible, truly, the perfection and longing I feel are only kinks I need to workout within myself, and I've come to discover, I'm the only person I want to save me. I'm challenging the narrative I've given love, and that it has to be picture perfect. I'm rather interested in diving into an ocean of raw and honest truth of love that baptises, and saves me. I'm more interested in the realistic outlook on love that offers me honesty, and not the fantasy that's stuck in my head, however hard that may be to face.

#love #all about love #bell hooks #healing #letting it out

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amorremanet · 8 years ago

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Oh boy, you're one of my all-time favorite content creators so I wanna ask a lot of questions. I'm particularly curious about 1-4, 17, and 19, but I understand that that is a significant amount of questions, so don't feel obligated to answer them all if you don't want to - just do whichever ones you please! 🌸

asks for fanfic writers

number 2 is done over here, but!

1. things that inspire you

……Uh. That’s a good question. tbh, it’s hard for me to pin down a specific set of things because… Sure, quotes or pictures usually help a lot, and so does music, but inspiration comes out of pretty much everywhere, for me, and at any time. Which can be super-frustrating when it happens, like. While I’m driving, or when I can’t get to my phone or a notebook to jot the idea down, but… Sighs. This is life, sadly

3. name three favorite writers — idk if this is supposed to be fan-authors or not but i’m really bad at picking fave fan-authors, so I’m going with not

1. Federico García Lorca — don’t mind me, I’ll just be over here, crying a lot, because García Lorca was such a beautiful soul who wrote such beautiful poems and plays, and THIS!! BADASS!!!! OH MY GOD. He was killed for being a gay man who gave General Franco the middle finger and didn’t just lie down for fascism but fought to try and keep his country from being taken over by said fascists. I love this man, don’t even go there.

2. Fyodor Dostoevsky — it was a really close call between him and Mikhail Bulgakov, because I’m limiting myself to one prolific Russian even though I love them both. But Dostoevsky won out because I’ve loved him longer, and I’ve read more of his stuff than I have Bulgakov’s (which is really saying a lot because Dostoevsky often makes GRRM look positively succinct by comparison) (though in fairness, that’s a bit on his brain; Dostoevsky lived with a form of temporal lobe epilepsy that resulted in hypergraphia and he lived in an age when novels were originally published as serials and you got paid by the word, so much like Darles Chickens, he went on and on and added subplots left right and center because Dostoevsky had to get paid), and The Brothers Karamazov is one of my favorite novels ever.

It’s also secretly hilarious, like. Yes, it’s a door-stopper that has a lot of heavy shit going on, too, with familial dysfunction and murder and all kinds of theology — but don’t try to read this book while you’re drinking something because you will probably choke on it at some point.

3. Adrienne Kennedy (I have admittedly only read one of her plays and I haven’t had the opportunity to see any of her work performed live, but Funnyhouse Of A Negro is legit one of the best works of 20th century American literature. It’s a one-act play, I’m not saying that this is a link to a PDF of it but I’m not not-saying that either if u know what I mean, and it will completely blow your mind — like, it’s so out there, doing stuff that nobody else is doing in the same way, and it’s fucking beautiful)

Honorable Mentions: Anne Rice (because no matter what issues I have with her, and we could be here all night, even if I cut out the, “and here is why Anne Rice is Wrong™ about fanfiction” tirade, because I have a LOT of issues with her? I am still trash garbage for self-indulgent gay Catholic vampires, especially when they helped get me through a lot of really bad downswings by being trashy and self-indulgent, the end)

Neil Gaiman (because no matter what issues I have with him — and there are plenty of them, some personal and some ideological — Good Omens, American Gods, and his run on Sandman are some of my favorite stories ever, they’ve helped get me through some shit much like Anne Rice and JKR have done, and I’ll probably never be over That One Quote from The Kindly Ones about, “Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn’t it?”)

and Leonard Cohen (I would talk about him more, I feel bad for not doing it but I’m still not ready to deal with his death, even though it’s been a couple months, just? His poetry is some of the most beautiful shit I’ve ever read, and to be fair, Beautiful Losers isn’t a novel that I’d recommend to everybody but I love it)

4. name three authors that were influential to your work and tell why

1. Augusten Burroughs, Oscar Wilde, and JK Rowling get listed together because they’re in the same post and I’m gonna cheat

2. Kurt Vonnegut — like, I love his stories themselves, of course. The first thing of his that I read was his short story, “Harrison Bergeron”; we read it in seventh grade English and it was so completely unlike literally anything I’d ever seen. The things that were closest to it were Roald Dahl (they had a similar off-kilter sense of humor, though Dahl and Vonnegut are different in how they go about being off-kilter), Fahrenheit 451 (we read it in sixth grade English and it just hit me like a big yellow school bus)

and Animal Farm (which we also read in seventh grade English, and it was on a similar wavelength with “Harrison Bergeron,” as being stuff written by political leftists who weren’t afraid of criticizing the behavior and beliefs of other leftists, but ultimately, Vonnegut and Orwell are two very different kinds of satirists and, for me, Vonnegut always prioritizes the human element of the satire over the ideological element that’s so central to Orwell’s everything ever. Like, neither of them is completely without any grounding in the other’s Big Deal thing, but they still have their preferences, and Orwell’s more about the ideas, to me)

—but “Harrison Bergeron” was still so far out there from anything else I’d ever read before it, and everything else I’ve ever read from Vonnegut continued rocking my world by just going off in his own weird little Kurt Vonnegut direction where he was gonna do his thing and you were just along for the ride. It was so much fun, and completely engaging even if I didn’t always feel like I got it, and I love this about him.

That said, though? The biggest impact that Vonnegut’s had on me is that he showed me that you can write satire without losing all of your compassion or your respect for the human element, which is so fucking important to me, because so many people conflate, “satire” with, “being an asshole”

—like, so many people take, “satire” as carte blanche to be a dickbag to people because they think they’re in the right about whatever’s on their mind, even if they’re trying to satirize people who are in positions of power like Jane Austen allegedly did

(granted, I don’t buy that version of the story with her, but in fairness, that’s because based on what I’ve read of her work, I think Jane Austen was a bitter, self-righteous snob who had no friends and that her so-called, “satire” was really just her being all, “Ugh, these loser preps are so jealous of me but I can’t help it that I’m better than they are” and having literary temper tantrums over the fact that no one wanted to spend more than a few minutes with her because she was a complete asshole who looked down her nose at fucking EVERYBODY)

(I mean, I already stanned for all of the Brontës before I learned that Charlotte had an EPIC hate-on for Jane Austen, but I started stanning for her harder when I first learned the story about how she refused to take on some collaborative project with Jane Austen that someone suggested she do, because based on reading some of Austen’s work, she felt that Austen didn’t have a single ounce of human compassion in her entire withered soul and thought that Jane Austen had more in common with the people who abused Charlotte, her sisters, and their brother Branwell, than with Charlotte herself — but that being said)

Anyway, my point is that Vonnegut is a satirist with a soul, and that’s what I want to be, too. More fabulous and gayer than he was, but still.

3. Terry Pratchett — on a personal note about why I love him, no other writer can make me smile as reliably as the late Sir Terry. Like, if it’s true that Gaiman did most of the heavy-lifting with the plot for Good Omens while Sir Terry did most of the joke-writing, then…… I’m okay with that, really? And it makes sense? Like, Good Omens was the first thing that I ever read by either of them, and its voice has much more in common with Sir Terry’s usual writing than with Neil’s

—but regardless of which of them did what more than whom, Good Omens had a huge effect on my developing sense of humor when I found it at an airport bookstore in middle school, and it was my first real, serious introduction to the idea that you could write a story with all kinds of angels and demons and magic and weird supernatural hijinks that didn’t have to be relegated to the Children’s Lit shelf like HP and Narnia (though Narnia was at least taken seriously when I was a kid, and HP was only taken seriously insofar as people could call it a literally Satanic corrupting influence blah blah whatever bogus arguments they pulled out of their asses), or unrelentingly Serious About All The Things Ever (like Narnia and LOTR)

or such nauseating Christian propaganda that it makes you want to stab CS Lewis’s corpse with a rusty fucking spork (like…… well. Narnia. Which is hilarious because Good Omens literally incorporates elements from the Book of Revelation, and a smattering of stuff from everywhere else in the Bible, while Narnia has a White Witch and a talking Jesus lion and a satyr, and yet, the one whose main characters are an angel, his demonic boyfriend, and the Antichrist is NOT the Christian propaganda here)

Moreover, Sir Terry is such a good example of a writer who grew in quality and also realized when he’d done Less Than Cool things that didn’t actually live up to his philosophical ideals, so he constantly tried to do better with his work. I respect the shit out of that, and I want to be like that as a writer, too.

Also:

That’s the shirt that he wore to conventions: “Tolkien’s Dead. / JK Rowling said no. / Philip Pullman couldn’t make it. / Hi, I’m Terry Pratchett.”

Great shirt, or GREATEST shirt.

Honorable Mentions: Sylvia Plath (because I was a completely cliché white theatre kid goth chick in high school and Sylvia Plath gave me hope that I, too, could write angry, angsty stuff that didn’t have to be all HOOM BAM MACHO like Jack Kerouac and have an audience)

August Strindberg (completely rocked my shit when we read The Ghost Sonata in the Theatre History and Histrionics class I took in my first year of undergrad, because, like Vonnegut, it was totally out-there and so unlike anything else that I’d ever read before. He’s just such a little weirdo and I love it)

John Waters (honorable mention because he’s not an author in the traditional sense exactly, but he’s a content creator and he does write the screenplays for his movies, and he’s gay and weird and a proud freak who’s all about that camp trash #aesthetic and about being gay and weird and freaky, and damn everyone who wants to make you fit in with their arbitrary standards when you’re not hurting anybody, and that’s all Very Important to me, on a personal level and on an Artistic Integrity Feels level)

and Jeffrey Eugenides (I don’t love him quite as much as I used to, back in high school — a lot of the cooling on him started when I learned that he’s straight, when I’d spent most of my adolescence thinking he had to be LGBTIQ, but that then led to an appreciation of some of the other glaring Issues in his books

like how he sort of plays at calling out southeast Michigan’s history of racism and especially of antiblackness in Middlesex, but ultimately ends up replicating it more than he actually calls it out, not to mention how the whole book is really Not Good about it deals with intersex conditions and how it represents intersex people, and it’s really heteronormative in a few ways that are now incredibly frustrating for me because I see them in clearer ways than I did in high school

—but I can’t deny two things: 1. Middlesex and The Virgin Suicides had huge effects on the process of me finding my own voice as a writer, and they both kept me alive in high school, more than once; and 2. Jeff was an inspiration because he’s from the Metro Detroit area, too, and I was totally sure for so long that nobody from ‘round here could really Make It as an author or accomplish anything for ourselves as writers.

Like, I wholeheartedly believed that I was probably doomed because I wasn’t from Somewhere Cool, like JKR, Terry Pratchett, Stephen King, or [insert any of the authors I ever had heart-eyes for entirely because They Were From New York!!! That Means They Are A Serious Writer!!!!] — but then along came Jeffrey Eugenides.

I discovered him completely by accident, because the Sofia Coppola movie version of TVS was on TV, and then I found out it was a book and had to read it… and then I found out that he was actually from the Metro Detroit area, and it was just? Whatever issues I have with him or his work, finding out that he was from ‘round here too was A Big Deal to me because !!!!! it meant that I wasn’t totally doomed to never have a future as an actual facts writer because I’m from Michigan instead of from Somewhere Cool)

17. favorite AU to write

ohhhhh man, hard question, because I like most of them.

Well, I mean. I like “correcting canon,” to borrow a term from @addictsitter — but tbh, I get so married to some of those ideas that I easily forget, until I’m called upon to explain it to someone else, that: Scott McCall isn’t canonically autistic and bisexual; Barty Crouch Jr.’s mother is not called, “Demeter” by anyone but me (but much like Braeden’s last name being Tandy because…… Meaghan’s last name flowed really nicely with Braeden’s, and Chris’s boyfriend being named Thierry Kensinger because I googled, “most popular baby names switzerland 1985” and, “most common surnames switzerland” and put together a name that I liked for him, I intend to just treat, “Demeter Lysistrata Gamp Crouch” as if it’s actual canon until everyone agrees with me); and all of my feels about [pick a character]’s gender identity, sexuality, neurodivergence, etc.…… are not necessarily shared by other people until I share them, oops

I like taking the, “non-magical/supernatural/ridiculously traumatic in ways that exceed average human capacity” AU setup for all of my fantasy, sci-fi, horror, Gothic, super-powered, or otherwise speculative fandoms…… and then finding ways to translate the supernatural parts into non-supernatural terms. Like, way back in the SPN fandom, my go-to was that Castiel isn’t so out-of-touch with people because he’s an angel; it’s because he’s autistic.

In Teen Wolf land: well, the Hales are generally not all dead, for one thing, because they’re not werewolves so the Argents had no reason to kill them, and Peter deciding to stalk and abuse Scott and Lydia has no magical components to it, he’s just a fucking creeper who preys on and probably assaults teenagers, possibly while he’s dating their mothers (since he’s canonically hit on both Melissa and Natalie, and went out with Melissa that one time in s1).

Then, Jackson’s kanima plot from s2 can be translated into non-magic terms as, for an example, Matt murdering the swim team on his own and dragging Jackson into it after Jackson witnesses one of the murders (I usually move Tucker the Mechanic to earlier and have Jackson be the accidental witness to his murder instead of Stiles), and instead of there being magical mind control murder lizard hijinks, Matt abuses and manipulates Jackson non-magically, Jackson falls harder into his fledgling drinking problem that came up a couple times back in s1 but was never mentioned again, and it’s Bad before Matt eventually gets caught and sent to prison. Even helping send him to prison with a promise of immunity in exchange for his testimony, Jackson doesn’t tell the whole story — not even to Danny — because there’s a lot of it that he’s trying to block out, or that he isn’t really ready or able to fully understand himself.

Or like in the Marvel theatre kids AU that I play around in sometimes, uh. Frankly, trying to make Thor and Loki into humans is kind of an enormous dumpster fire (a dumpster fire that I’ve enjoyed working on, personally, but still: dumpster fire) — also, for the link: cw for death, murder, kidnapping, emotional and psychological abuse, manipulation, (mostly inexplicit) references to torture and ethnically-motivated hate crimes, discussion of war crimes (more inexplicit than not but still), and hardcore douchebag!Odin (as in, he is the one perpetuating most of these war crimes, that is what I mean when I say, “douchebag Odin”)

But, uh. The characters who are not Norse gods are easier to put into non-spandexed terms — like, Bucky’s “winter soldier” plot involves emotional and psychiatric abuse; Sam hasn’t been in the military yet because he is in high school but his wing-man Riley died in a freak accident at Jr. ROTC summer camp; Pietro and Wanda are Erik’s cousins instead of his kids because otherwise I couldn’t have all three of them, and anyway, he’s ridiculously overprotective of them and will probably hurt you if you touch them; Nick Fury is the much beleaguered director of the theatre club, who is trying to (more or less) single-handedly save the entire fine arts department;

and Wade Wilson isn’t on drugs, he’s just like that naturally (“like that” here having the meaning of any number of possible ridiculous things but right now, let’s go with, “following Logan Howlett: Professor of Art™ around the mall on Saturday, narrating the entire thing like an episode of Crocodile Hunter, and dragging Peter Parker with him because Peter actually answered his phone when Wade called him at Too Early On A Saturday O’Clock and he has no idea why they’re doing this, but okay”)

And I was going to be sad because it’s 3:15 AM now and I didn’t feel like I had the energy left to talk about one completely ridiculous Star Wars AU in detail — but I remembered that I actually had a post about it a while back!

Short version: It’s seriously Keeping Up With The Skywalkers, just. Not rich and famous or anything. Also, no one is dead. Except Palpatine, probably. Anakin is a late-in-life closet bisexual who is doing his best to ignore this la la la, Padmé figured out that she was a lesbian after being with him for a while and is now married to Ahsoka — his ex-foster sister — instead, Obi-Wan was their friend in college and he and Anakin had A Thing before someone (Anakin) fell in with a really shitty homophobic pastor-local politician-crime lord who manipulated him (Palpatine) and a messy as fuck break-up ensued and Anakin has been trying to jump in Denial River ever since

(not that Obi-Wan can judge: he became Luke’s mentor when Luke was in college, knows that “Skywalker” isn’t a very common name and that Anakin and Padmé named their son, “Luke,” and he still totally glossed over how he, uh. Knew Anakin a few times over by calling him by his weirdo religious-political-mafia nickname, Darth Vader, in all the stories he told Luke, lol um, whoops?)

Luke is a soft gay activist but Leia is a hard bi activist who’s better at activist work that is more easily understood as activisty while Luke is better at stuff like community building and housing LGBTIQ kids who need places to stay in his spare rooms, Han is married to Leia but probably also kinda married to Lando in Canada (they were drunk, it’s complicated, but Lando is accepted as Basically Family by pretty much everyone. Anakin calls him, “the son-in-law I should have had” when he’s in a pissy mood with Han, which happens often), Chewie is Han’s incredibly hirsute old friend who has no sense of volume control (no one knows why his nickname is, “Chewbacca,” but Han insists that the story doesn’t make sense if you weren’t there), and the Falcon is an old van that’s constantly held together by duct tape, chewing gum, and luck

KyBen is constantly getting in trouble for being a bullying little shit to Poe and Finn on the playground (which is coming out of a lot of things, like, “Ben hates them for being more popular than he is,” and, “Ben hates them for being better at school than he is,” and, “Ben hates Finn specifically because wtf no, how dare you be so charming and make Poe Dameron smile like he likes you, this isn’t fair, Ben was like SO CLOSE to figuring out how to make Poe like him [not really], he’s going to go listen to a metal cover of, ‘You Belong With Me’ in his room and throw things, fuck everybody, he hates this town and this school and his family UGH IT’S NOT A PHASE DAD”)

Poe and Finn really just want that annoying Ben kid to leave them alone already like what is his deal, Hux and Phasma don’t like KyBen either (they just got stuck with him on hall monitor rotations and have to keep him from breaking people’s faces or else it will reflect badly on them), and Rey is a plucky, somewhat abrasive new girl who warms up really quickly if you’re genuinely nice to her and one time beat up Phasma to get her off of Finn because Finn was nice to her so Rey decided that they should be friends. Rey just moved to town with her adoptive dad

Obi-Wan is her adoptive dad

Anakin has the face-crack of the century

and Luke doesn’t want to detract from how hard this is for you, Dad, but is SUPER NOT IMPRESSED WITH EITHER OF YOU for totally failing to mention that you knew each other like???? WHAT. Fuck this, he’s gonna go to Tosche Station and then go have dinner at Mom’s with her and Aunt Ahsoka, this is bullshit

(Luke storms out of his own house, leaving Anakin and one of the kids who’s staying in one of the spare rooms standing in the kitchen super-awkwardly)

(update: it is 3:36 AM now, and I’m still doing better than expected, given how far off the point I’ve wandered here)

19. favorite fandom to write

Uh. Good question.

Cop-out answer that has a basis in fact: right now, my favorite fandom to write technically doesn’t entirely exist yet because I’m still making it up and the fandom won’t be A Thing until the novel’s actually done and people can read it. (And it’s not guaranteed to be A Thing but I’d really like it if I ever got to have a fandom based around something I wrote with my OCs. Like, even all of #The Discourse™, while probably incredibly frustrating on several levels, would be so flattering and I’d be beside myself because ksdfgkfgherb????!!!?! people??? liked??? this thing i wrote???!!!?!!?! enough to make a fandom?????!!!!!!!?!!!! *as yet hypothetical pterodactyl screech!!!!*)

Attempt at an actual answer: Right now, I’m sort of between fandoms a bit. HP is always my good go-to, because there’s always something to do there and even if Sailor Moon was technically here first, HP was my first fandom where I was really actively involved, in more ways than just going, “Huh, what does, ‘mpreg’ mean?” and clicking on that one NC-17 Aragorn/Legolas fic that abruptly shoved tiny eleven-year-old Kassie into the deep end of what goes on in fandom.

(Though in all due fairness, the first fanfic I ever posted online was some crack-ass HP/Sailor Moon crossover with a totally overpowered and inexplicably American Mary Sue self-insert OC. I was coming up on twelve, probably lying on my profile on that site and saying I was 13, and bless the person who took the time to leave a review going, “Hey, I know you’re young and this is a first effort on your part, but you show a lot of imagination here and that’s worth nurturing. BUT you’re not going to get much of anywhere if you don’t work on it and here are a few sources where you can start looking for help at developing characters better. I mean this to help you, so please don’t stop writing or having fun with it. But you can learn to do better, too.”

And then I asked for a copy of Nancy Kress’s book, Dynamic Characters, for my birthday, my parents found it at Borders, and the rest was history.)

(nb: this should definitely be read as me reccing that book. It’s not a perfect guide by any means, but it’s still one of my go-to’s for help with writing and inspiration for character development, and it’s a very solid, reliable resource. Like, I love it so much that I taped and glued my first copy back together about three times because it wore out from how much I read it and how I carried it almost everywhere, and then made buying a new copy a priority when I couldn’t put the old one back together anymore. but anyway.)

So, yeah. HP is my good go-to, and idk, I kind of want to try writing more than headcanons in the YOI fandom, buuuuut I’m not entirely sure where to start with that just yet — or where I want to start, aside from, “No matter what the actual main subject is, it will probably involve Chris doing IDEK what, something ridiculous probably” — and……

Well, the cop-out answer has a basis in fact? My original novel’s been getting most of my writing time and attention lately, so there’s that?

#sikenesque #memes for ts #mine: writing #mine: asks #fandom shenanigans #inspo tag: the theatre kids au #mine: marvel #mine: star wars #that story with the mutants that i should find a working title for fml #longish post probably//#also? ksjdjsndkvhb oh my godddd i'm blushing over the 'all time favorite' thing and completely flappy handsing and????#i am just also tired and expressing it badly and kansndkzkdnf!!!!! thank u ❤❤❤❤#asks for fanfic writers

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