#I don't want to see my childhood go out like that

[spiderb00]

- BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL

Sophia Laforteza x reader  | (request)

"You and Sophia hate each other, but maybe it's not quite like that..."

Genre – Fluff        Warnings – Not reviewed (sorry, I'm sleepy) 

Now playing – Still Into You, by Paramore 

A sigh of breath came from your lips as soon as you parked your car in front of the house of one of your childhood friends. The moonlight illuminated part of the street and when you turned off the headlights of your car everything seemed to have become a little more tense. Getting out of the car, you took a deep breath, bottle of red wine in hand to at least say that you brought something to the small party.   

When you rang the doorbell, your whole body shuddered, not only because it was a little cold outside, but because of the anxiety of seeing all your childhood friends together again, especially one of them.  

When the door opened, you froze, staring intently at the person who had opened the door for you. Sophia Laforteza, in all her glory. Many might say you were sworn enemies in high school, but you couldn't disagree more.   

"Oh, it's you..." Her tone showed that maybe she hadn't let go of the little disagreements you had.   

Giving an awkward smile, you watched Sophia move out of the way, a silent permission for you to enter. The house was full of conversation and laughter, and before you could think of what to say to Sophia, one of your longtime friends clung to you.  

"YN!" Maya screamed, hugging your neck with excitement. "I didn't know if you would actually come, you seem to be always so busy with your company. Come on, come in." the woman said, pulling you by the wrist.   

If you had turned your face, you would have seen Sophia roll her eyes, walking up to one of the closest friends she had at school and collapsing next to her on the couch. 

"Wow, it feels like you've come back with one of the heaviest energies I've ever felt in my entire life. Who was at the door? O Nosferatu?” Abby, Sophia's friend, asked.   

"Worse, Yn." Sophia said, crossing her arms like a tantrum child.   

"Yn? Like, that girl who had a crush on you?" Abby asks, taking a sip of her martini.   

"She didn't have a crush on me, she hated me. She always tried to steal my roles in school plays. Not to mention when she tore up the letter someone wrote to me on Valentine's Day." Sophia's gaze was watching the kitchen, maybe she wasn't in her right mind, and just maybe she wanted to throw the hollow of the coffee table on your head.   

"Girl, that girl liked you, I'm not crazy. By the way, I'm always right, remember?!"   

"What? Don't you remember how it happened?" 

- High School, Manila – six years ago. 

At that school, every sixteen-year-old's dream was to get a Valentine's Day letter. It was a school custom for a post office to be made during Valentine's Day, so when the day came, everyone would write letters to the people they had a crush on, and that letter would be delivered to each other's lockers during class.   

With the classroom still empty, Sophia and Kylie talked freely, cheerful and super excited to see if their passions had sent them something.   

"I don't know, I just wanted Yn to stop being so boring and like me, at least a little bit." The young Sophia said, organizing the materials for the next class and leaving them metrically positioned on the table.   

"I've already told you that I think she only does all that to get your attention." Abby said, looking at herself in the mirror as she smeared lip gloss.  

"You'll still admit that I'm right, Sophie." Abby said, making Sophia roll her eyes at the nickname. "Do you think Dylan likes my lip gloss?" The girl asked.   

"He'd be an idiot if he didn't like it." Sophia says, making Abby laugh. "It seems lovely to receive a letter from him."  

"He's adorable." Abby said, a cocky tone coming out of her words.   

"I don't think he likes me." Sophia said, pointing to a pencil, so she wouldn't have to do this during class.  

"Of course he likes you, he's just shy." Abby said, not wanting her best friend to think bad things about her boyfriend.   

"yes, it could be." Sophia said, not paying much attention to the words of the girl next to her.   

"Anyway, let's hope you get your letter today." Abby said, making Sophia laugh lightly as she shook her head.   

While Sophia and her friend laugh at the conversation, Yn enters the room, accompanied by Zack, one of the nerdy boys who always hung out with her. Choosing Sophia's back seat, Yn sat down, and the Filipino girl observed the girl's different behavior.   

 "Have you finally decided to pay attention in class instead of sleeping in all of them?" Sophia asked, her tone sounding too sarcastic for Yn.  

"Why don't you take charge of your life." Yn said, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair, making the Filipina furrow her brows at her. Turning in her chair, Sophia missed something very important, the sigh and the look of sadness that Yn had on her face.  

After school was over, young Sophia was crossing her fingers. Sophia had asked her faithful friend, Abby, to open the door to her closet, wanting to be quick to pick up the letter, but too afraid to look first. The Filipino girl had her back turned, and when she heard the soft creak of her closet door, only one question crossed her mind.   

"And then? Is there something in there?" Sophia asked, the tone of her voice evidenced how nervous she was.  

"Yes." Abby said, positioning the letter she had ordered inside Sophia's closet, in front of the Filipina's face. 

Sophia's breathing was quickened, her hand rose and her hand was aching, tingling to have the letter finally in her possession. As Sophia's fingers brushed against the envelope's paper, a gust of wind hit her, and along with it Hurricane Yn. On top of her battered skateboard, Yn had just stolen the letter from Sophia's hands, paddling her feet faster on the ground, practically flying with the board on wheels.   

"YN! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"   

Passing like lightning through the students, maneuvering and dodging all possible things, Yn tried to go faster. Looking back, the problem girl saw Sophia running towards her, like an angry bull, a bomb about to explode, like anything that could hurt a lot, and Yn was the target.   

Luckily, some students passing through the front door of the school kept it open, giving Yn easier access to the parking lot. With the passenger door open, Yn's nerdy and rich friend, Zack, was waiting for her, nervous that one of them would get into serious trouble. When the boy finally saw Yn coming towards him, he quickly shouted, warning Yn that Sophia was right behind her.   

"YN, COME BACK HERE!" Sophia screamed, still trying to reach the girl, who was now hanging from the door of Zack's Jeep.  

"SORRY!"   

It was the only thing Sophia heard Yn say before the car accelerated. 

"Now do you remember? You ran with me, the whole school thought we were crazy!" Sophia said, finishing remembering the story to Abby.   

"It doesn't matter, we were children. I remember very well how you wanted to receive a letter from her that day." Abby countered Sophia's line, making the woman roll her eyes. "You always rolled your eyes at me in high school, and I was always right."  

"There's no way she'll like me." Sophia muttered.   

"There's no way she'll like me." The same phrase was repeated in the kitchen.   

Yn, who had now begun talking to Maya and Zack about her complicated relationship with Sophia, took a big sip of the beer she had in her hand, trying to forget what a little disaster she was when Sophia opened the door.   

"I never understood, why did you steal her letter anyway?" Maya asked, making you look at Zack.  

Seeing as you were looking at him, the man quickly prepared a shot of tequila for you, which you readily accepted. The liquid burned your throat, and when you finished feeling the consequences of alcohol in your system (just for now), you hit the small empty shot glass on the counter.  

"Let's go..." 

Games has always been one of your favorite topics of conversation with Zack, but when you got close to the classroom, something a little more interesting caught your eye.  

"He's adorable." Abby said, a cocky tone coming out of her words.   

"I don't think he likes me very much." Sophia said, pointing to a pencil, so she wouldn't have to do this during class.  

"Of course he likes you, he's just shy." Abby said, not wanting her best friend to think bad things about her boyfriend.   

Stopping abruptly, you began to pay attention to the girls' conversation. Zack, slightly confused by your extravagant, looked at you as if to ask what was wrong. 

"What are you doing? Let's go in." Before he made the presence of the two of you recognized there, you grabbed him by the back of his shirt, putting your hand on his mouth as he tried to protest.   

"Shut up and listen." You whispered aggressively, causing your friend to raise his hands in surrender.   

"yes, it could be." Sophia said, not paying much attention to the words of the girl next to her.   

"Anyway, let's hope you get your letter today." Abby said, making Sophia laugh lightly as she shook her head. 

That was it, all was lost, your plan to deliver a letter to Sophia and finally confess your feelings to her was over. Every time you tried to do projects in pairs, discreetly changing the teacher's list of names, or every time you auditioned for the male role in a play just because Sophia would narrow down as the princess who needed to be saved, all of that had gone down the drain, she liked another boy.   

Finally understanding what was happening there, Zack put his hand on your shoulder, your sad look made the boy feel bad for you.   

"I'm sorry, Yn." Zack said, trying to comfort you about your first broken heart. 

"Alright, I mean, at least she doesn't know I like her, it would be a clime." You said, laughing falsely as you tried to mask your pain.   

When Zack was going to tell you not to pretend, your eyes widened, a sensation taking over your body, making you shiver from head to toe, the only thing your mind weighed was that Sophia could NEVER see that letter.  

"Zack!" You whispered aggressively, grabbing the shoulders of the boy in front of you. "She can't see the letter!" You said, shaking your best friend's shoulders.   

"Hey, I'm going to get dizzy..."   

"As soon as class is over, wait for me in the parking lot with your car running! I have a plan." You said, dropping Zack and entering the classroom.   

"After that, I think she started to hate me even more." You said, taking one more shot. Grabbing a plastic cup with something Zack mixed.   

"But you know what, I don't care, I don't feel anything..."  

Without paying much attention, you ended up missing the moment when Sophia entered the kitchen, turning around just in time and spilling all your crazy drink on her clothes. Her mouth was open, the perfect shape of an 'o', just like Zack and Maya's.   

"Sorry, I..." You couldn't even finish the sentence, the Filipina was already going up the stairs towards the bathroom.   

 With a sigh of defeat, you rubbed your hands over your eyes, thinking about why you couldn't do anything right when it came to Sophia.   

"Go over there." Maya said, pointing with her drink towards the stairs.

"I can't, she'll tear me apart." You said, crestfallen. 

"Or you can finally have a conversation as adults and sort out whatever high school craziness you have to sort out."  

Taking Maya's words as an encouraging, you walked determinedly upstairs. When you came face to face with the bathroom door, leaning your body completely against it, you let out a deep sigh, before finally knocking.  

"It's Yn..."  

"Go away, Yn."  

One more sigh. Maybe those shots were a bad idea, now your head hurt.   

"I'm sorry. Not just for the drink, for everything. I was really stupid, I just thought it was the best way to get your attention, but then you started hating me, and I can't shut my mouth." You keep talking as you slide through the door, sitting in the middle of the hallway.   

"It was all a bad idea, I shouldn't have stolen the letter from you, I shouldn't even have sent it..."   

As soon as you closed your mouth, the bathroom door opened. You fell on your back with a dull thud and groaned as your head hit the ground with some force. As you sat down again, you were sure that those shots were a bad idea.   

"Were you the one who sent the letter?" Sophia asked, genuinely interested in what you had just said.   

"It's... I..."   

"Yn, was that letter yours?" Sophia approached, lowering herself to your height and looking at you with a look you had never seen on her face.   

"Yes." You confessed, another sigh coming from your lips, followed by a sob, which left you half embarrassed. "I heard you talking about another guy that day, you know, when I was walking into class." You confessed, another sob coming out of your lips, making you lower your head so that Sophia wouldn't see how embarrassed you were. 

"Wait, man? I wasn't talking about any guy..."   

"Yeah, you were talking about how sure you were that he didn't like you, and then Abby made sure he did. I was just scared of ruining something you really wanted."  

Analyzing your words, Sophia couldn't believe it. You liked her too, you were both hiding your real intentions for fear of something silly getting in the way. Finally remembering the conversation she had with Abby that day, Sophia started laughing, it was a little funny and sad to think that the two of you could have been together all this time. 

"I was talking about Abby's boyfriend, you stupid." Sophia said, pushing your chest, making you look at her with a confused expression.  

"So you didn't like any guys?" You asked, making Sophia deny it with her head.  

"No. In fact, I really wish you had sent me a letter that day, if you had arrived a little earlier to eavesdrop on my conversation, you would have listened." Sophia said, sitting next to you and touching her shoulder with yours.   

"You know, I never wanted to go into the theater to steal your role in the cast." You said, another letting a sob escape. "I wanted to be your date."   

Smiling, Sophia looked at you, the Filipina's gaze going down your chest, until it landed on your hands, which were on your lap. With a slight smile on her face, Sophia took your hand, intertwining your fingers with hers, making you look into her eyes for the first time.   

"Do you still want to be?" 

Hey guys, sorry for the delay with the requests, I'm trying hard. But lately I've also been very busy taking care of my farm and my WIFE Haley, we have a son now, her name is Ani (like anora)

Anyway, now seriously, I'm trying to make the requests, but I'm trying to enjoy my vacation, in a little while my college classes start and then it will get more complicated.

I also created another profile to write about women outside of kpop, the name of the profile is Sipderb00bs (in honor of the anon who always read my name wrong), I will be receiving requests there too, in case you want to take a look.

Stay safe and drink water

xoxo, spider.

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

i'll be honest i haven't done as much Illario Pondering up to this point as some others. but i am Rotating Him now so gonna do my thinking out loud on my already too long post just because...

obviously Illario and Lucanis responded to their childhoods in very different ways/grew up into very different people but i think if you want to trace Illario's Issues back down to this level you can see how that would turn him into who we see in the game/stories too.

while Lucanis ends up as a loner with "no one else" (that he Counts anyway), Illario seems to have way more connections when we meet him as an adult--he flirts with anyone, he's into nightlife, he hooks up with random people at parties, the other Crows will mention him like he's a known presence in their lives--yet none of them know what he's Really up to. So his relationships outside Lucanis & Caterina do seem to exist in plenty, but they also seem to be very shallow. Unless he has some offscreen never mentioned confidant, no one seems to know what he's up to, with either Lucanis's or Caterina's "deaths", or his alliance with the Venatori/Gods. he's kept that part secret while keeping up all these other social connections. in theory maybe he got some of the other off-screen talons on his side who knew the whole story but we don't have any evidence for that either way I think (though I don't remember all the codex details so I could be wrong).

[sidebar: yes, Zara, i know. apparently they were deep enough in whatever they had going on to have love-y pet names but like... clearly not enough that Illario wasn't willing to kill her to cover his own tracks; and personally i have my doubts that the relationship was without any ulterior motives on Zara's part either. even if they did care for each other on some level they were or weren't willing to admit (since that's entirely within our realm of interpretation now) it clearly took lesser priority than their other goals)]

SO. Illario's a conniving man (intentionally!) who isn't sharing everything he knows with his "allies" probably on either side, but at the same time... he is still a very emotional man. i don't think the whole "use people and drop them" thing is his actual desire as much as how he's gotten used to operating in the world. while Lucanis seems to have self-isolated as a way to protect both himself & those around him, I think you can interpret Illario as instead learning that he can achieve the same result by instead having a large amount of very shallow relationships. By spreading around his desire for connection he creates a situation where Caterina can't possibly remove them all from his life, but has the plausible deniability of not being actively close to anyone so he doesn't risk punishment falling on himself either.

and i don't necessarily think his approach was a WORSE one compared to Lucanis', at first. in many ways something's better than nothing and Illario seems to have a better understanding of himself & his emotions (not saying he always does or it's a GOOD understanding, but "better than Lucanis" is not a very high bar), plus way more experience in general at just. social anything. because now that they're adults, ILLARIO is the one who has managed to stand up to Caterina, and change the direction of his own life, even if he did pick the most ruthless path to it. Unlike Lucanis (in The Wigmaker Job & first parts of Veilguard) he DOES show great deal of autonomy, understanding that his tiny family is the thing holding him back from what he really wants. But he also has no one else jumping over to help him, no one left he can manipulate, and so he reaches past the crows to the Venatori/Gods as the next step.

so the true downside to this is in fact based in reputation more than anything else. because he's spent years seemingly playing with the emotions of everyone else while never really giving them a way in, as a coping mechanism... he's already burned those potential bridges in a way Lucanis hasn't. people aren't willing to extend extra graces to him the same way. possibly it even contributed to why Caterina liked him less as a successor, since he was less controllable by her personal rules/whims. i dont really have a thesis statement here like before since i haven't been mulling it over as long but i think it's a fun way to interpret their dynamic.

man... in Veilguard it really is so so clear how much Lucanis yearns for connection, how much he laments having barely anyone who is a tangible long-term presence in his life. Illario and Caterina are IT until he meets Rook, he tells them.

but he grew up in the Dellamorte estate. A huge, huge manor that would not just have servants, but STAFF. payrolls full of people who clean and cook and keep the place running. And we know he had some amount of free reign around the place. He explored in the tunnels and basements and found the secret entrance/exit while playing alone. He learned how to make churros and cook other food from the kitchen staff. Someone taught him to knit. So... where are those people? Where's the kindly cook who became a second mother, or the maids who watched him play? He would know their names and remember them, if they were around long enough. And it's NOT just some rich boy privilege that makes him forget they're there, because we know he sees the working class as people who with real lives. In The Wigmaker Job, he knows elves in the alienage, who think well enough of him to let him use their secret routes around the city. He risks the whole mission and breaks rules to let one single serving maid go--they're not invisible or somehow lesser to him. He was raised as a Crow, he's been trained since he was a boy to be observant--he'd listen for the names and details about the lives of servants who were around him all the time as a child. And he is also kind and gentle, so he would reach back if they offered him any kind of affection

Which means their absence in his life is intentional. Caterina must have had the staff rotated often enough that he couldn't learn who they were, and discouraged anyone from talking to or connecting with the Dellamorte boys--she probably thought she was keeping them safe. Keeping them from having people who might matter and therefore could be used against all of them--not to mention it's way easier to slip a poisoned treat to a trusting child, or convince them to follow you out of the estate to an undisclosed location. Her paranoia after losing all her children and other grandkids warped into isolating the Dellamorte boys utterly from any kind of connection and affection outside of herself, and then she withheld it anyway, because she was afraid of getting hurt again too (<- not an excuse, still abuse). And she is NOT a kind woman, who would look over a transgression--servants disobeying her orders about staying away from her grandsons would mean losing their job at best and probably physical punishment along with it. Or maybe you just never saw that coworker who dared say something kind to a crying child again.

It's so sad. And makes it so much more meaningful that there WERE occasional times he got away with it anyway. I wonder how much those cooks risked when teaching him how a kitchen runs, and to make his favorite dessert. If they had some excuse for it, or were all sent away once Caterina found out. Of course he'd stop trying to make friends with any children of the staff his age, if any time he did, the whole family got moved to work at a summer villa in the country instead. If the people who cleaned his rooms were different every month. He'd notice that anyone who he tried to get close to just ended up out of his life entirely, and so eventually Caterina wouldn't need to keep isolating him intentionally as he grew. Lucanis learned. He started doing it himself.

[jaelami]

Love and Deepspace: Caleb and Bad Writing (Long, LONG Rant)

I might be in the minority here but I'm not liking Caleb at all. (Edit 1: I said the wrong thing here, I do like Caleb. I think he has the potential to be a good character. The hate comes more from how Infold has done his story. Well, the story in general.)

I'm not bothered by the childhood friend thing. So that's not the issue I'm having. I'm just not liking the story. I feel like it was rushed which I know it probably wasn't but it feels that way. And it shows the bad writing of LaDS when it comes to the main storyline.

The way the MC is glossing over some huge red flags and blaring warning signs, it pisses me off. We get a tease of her fighting Caleb's yandere tendencies but she still lets it happen anyway. Infold really wanted to rush the relationship. They sure as hell don't know how to write a slow burn or even a medium burn.

Even Sylus, who has had less story and less everything, had more back and forth with MC than a supposed dead guy. MC hated and was annoyed being tethered to Sylus. Was annoyed when he appeared when she was with friends or with other hunters (conveniently when Xavier is not around).

Back to Caleb: Then there's the fact he is the only LI that wants to baby her in every aspect. The other LIs knew she could kickass and let her. Do they want to protect her? Yes. Do they protect her? Yes. But do they know she could do it on her own if needed? Hell yes. Caleb still thinks of her as the little girl who was afraid of thunderstorms. He constantly thinks of her as the girl who made childhood promises to him. And let's not forget, he drugs her to "keep her safe". He uses his evol to keep her in place. He locks her in her room. That is horrifying. And she glosses over it!!!! Everytime!!!! When she wants to "go out with friends" and he won't let her. He finds ways to keep her there. She doesn't question it.

Do I mind dark romance? No. I read dark romance but at least the FMC doesn't fall for MMC immediately. She thinks shit through. MC on the other hand doesn't bat an eye. Caleb has returned from the dead. Great, be happy. But don't just ignore that he's returned with issues and secrets. We can obviously see that he is not mentally all there. Don't just tell him everything and not be concerned that he's not reacting to shit. She's not really questioning the fact he is still alive. Not a priority, I guess.

She proceeds to tell Caleb everything about the papers that Grandma gave to Zayne (not Caleb btw) to give MC in the time of her passing. MC is not at all concerned about the consequences of doing that. She sees and hears Caleb being involved with the Professor and she still doesn't consider that a huge neon red flag. Instead she does everything in her power to excuse his behavior. What? He even tells her, "You think I have a chip in my brain?" He knows she's worried about it and still manipulates her into moving on from the question. And she does!!!

And then there's Zayne, who is also in Skyhaven, because of course he is, and still she doesn't tell him anything about Caleb even tho he was Caleb's childhood friend too. Or she doesn't go to him to ask for help. She was drugged by Caleb and she doesn't tell Zayne, her doctor. Zayne is literally there for no real reason in the story of Caleb and MC. He was used as a plot device for a different part of the story. How has Zayne not heard of Colonel Caleb? It seems that Caleb is a big deal in Skyhaven. Yet he doesn't know? I feel like Infold isn't going to have these two characters interact at all which would make no sense story wise.

We have these characters existing in one timeline/storyline together and we are supposed to believe they don't know about each other or MAYBE know about each other. Xavier literally lives in the same building as MC. He can enter her apartment at any time. She told him his fingerprint will let him in. She gave him the permission to literally barge in. He's her partner at the HA! And yet!!!! He never sees any of the other LIs come to her apartment? And he's conveniently missing when hunters are involved in the other LIs storylines. It's always another male colleague that she works with. It's getting old and stupid real quick.

The theory of the LIs being each other's antithesis makes no sense when they never acknowledge each other. Xavier/Sylus, Zayne/Caleb, Rafayel/LI6, really falls flat. It can't be they are different timelines or parallel universes when the storyline plainly connects them. In chapter 4, Caleb and Grandma talk about Zayne. They want to invite him over for dinner. And that's not the only time when the story connects the LIs. Zayne goes to check on the guy who has a mermaid skeleton in his living room. Rafayel gave the collector his painting that was slowly killing him. They all know about Onychinus which means they should know who Sylus is. And let's not forget Tara has met Sylus. Does she not mention him in front of Xavier?

I mean, come on. Math is not mathing.

Either Infold is purposely making MC dumb, because let's face it she makes some of the worst decisions, to explain the bad writing or they don't really know how to connect the storylines at all. (Edit 2: MC isn't dumb per say she lacks critical thinking skills sometimes. Maybe that's a better way to put it.)

I don't count the many 4/5 level special cards as a part of the main storyline because if that was the case the girl's evol should be teleportation or multiplication. Cause they all conveniently happen at the same time.

I know all of Caleb's cards aren't out and his storyline isn't complete (most of his cards are from the past) but that doesn't matter right now. It doesn't excuse the rushed feelings MC has in the present. Also in chapter 4, it is implied to us, as viewers, that MC didn't have romantic feelings for Caleb. They treated each other as siblings. (I know they aren't. I'm talking about how MC treated him in chapter 4.) Did Caleb have feelings? Yeah, that was obvious.

I don't know. Time will tell, I guess but so far the main story update has been disappointing for me. I want a VILLAIN romance but, please, do it well. I have the morally grey storyline with Sylus (kinda). Give me a well written Villain love interest. Don't rush it. Give me, present timeline yearning not past. Give me a slow-ish burn. Let MC and Caleb fight. Give me, knife to the throat romance. Don't make MC so gullible and naive. Let her ask other LIs for help when Caleb is stepping out of line. Have her question if he loves or is just obsessed with her.

Viper literally says that Caleb is obsessed with MC not in love with MC. He, a mentally unstable man/robot person, can tell the difference. MC is twiddling her thumbs and pretending not to see it.

Was Caleb in love at one point? I think so however with time it has twisted into obsession. (Edit 3: I'm not saying Caleb doesn't love MC now. I'm saying those feelings have twisted more to obsession. Like maybe whatever the Professor did, did something to his feelings for MC. And I know MC will enable him like MC does with Xavier. MC be freaky that way. That's not a bad thing for a FICTIONAL scenario.)

Also Kevi and Mia?! That storyline pissed me off. She literally sees something is wrong with the twins and does nothing. Mia doesn't give info to anyone because she doesn't trust them. Unfortunately for Mia, she put her trust in MC and that was a mistake because, as mentioned, MC is stupid. MC goes to where Kevi is hiding and doesn't take Zayne?!?!!? Doesn't take Kevi to Zayne immediately even tho he's ill. Why the fuck not?!

Kevi tells her point blank he was afraid of the Fleet and not to be trusted and she doesn't think it's bad when the Fleet got to him? No, because it's okay cause Caleb was involved? He was conveniently found by Caleb? That's not suspicious, that's not weird. Kevi must be okay. But wait, there's more! Mia conveniently dies right after. Neither Zayne or MC does anything beyond mentioning it was a weird coincidence. Not at all suspicious, apparently.

What the actual fuck? (Edit 4: I am aware that more happens than just casually mentioning the situation. I did, in fact, read the story. I just think certain choices leading up to Mia's death and Kevi's forced adoption could have easily been avoided or at least better written.

MC puts her trust in Caleb to do the right thing even tho she knows and acknowledges he's not the same anymore. I don't think I'm wrong for saying that it's a stupid choice story wise. It's obvious Caleb doesn't put his full trust in MC, but MC does. It causes an imbalance. We know MC can be and has been a badass; why diminish that?)

How is anyone not annoyed with the storyline? It makes Caleb a really bad character and LI, it further proves MC is dumb as shit. She's so easily manipulated and so impossibly naive.

No. No one cares because he's the Winter Soldier. Omg if real money is going to be spent on this godforsaken game make it worth it.

I was so excited for Caleb too. It's just sad.

(Edit 5: Because someone mentioned this 🙄, I'm aware that this is a Reverse Harem. I don't know where I said it wasn't. Besides this rant is based on the MAIN STORYLINE ONLY. NOT THE INDIVIDUAL CARDS.)

Also a random note, I don't like the voice of Jenna. It doesn't fit her at all. Not bashing the VA at all. She has a great voice. It's just not a strong voice for Jenna.

(Reminder: Before someone calls me easily manipulated, please note I was able to piss you off for criticizing a mobile game and a FICTIONAL character. I don't mind having adult discussions about LaDS but be an adult about it. I enjoy different perspectives and I'm not set on my opinions about the game. My mind can change depending on what comes next. It makes discussing/ playing the game more fun. I am allowed to express my opinions and feelings on what is out. If my opinion makes you so angry to the point of name calling, maybe you need to stop playing. A parasocial relationship to pixelated men is not a good thing for your mental health.)

[zara-renata]

jumping up and down pls pls pls tell me your thoughts on caleb’s lore in the main story and what u think after going through his memoria and bond. as soon as they brought up the chip in the main story i wanted to throw my ipad bc i thought they were gonna do the whole “oh he’s not actually like that his mind is twisted from the chip” thing. but then he directly addressed that idea so i was like ok wow i guess not but everyone seems to think he is actually being controlled by the chip??? idk

heey thank you for this ask, i have a lot of thoughts as usual, thank you for asking <3 just a note: i wholly accept the gege caleb is your adopted brother aspect of his story like in the CN, KR, and JP versions, so i'm referring to him as mc's brother below. you can switch out brother for childhood friend; in either case, mc has a deeply rooted relationship with him.

First off, if I had a braincell I might have worried about the chip controlling his brain as a plot device, but I got the yandere vibes from him before he blew up, so that didn't even occur to me. But who are these 'everyone' of whom you speak? I don't think he's being controlled by the chip to any extent that matters in regards to his feelings and behavior towards mc. He's actively fighting against the chip's influence with his wildly cute and bizarre little black hole in his brain blocking its further invasion into his mind. the cliffhanger is, can the EVER scientists figure out a way to work around the block he's thrown up to actually exert control over him? The answer will be -> fuck if I know, I've never played an infold/PG game to later stages, but this is a dating sim, i'm assuming he'll be fine.

But I do think that all of his obsession about MC is wholly his own. His only wish in high school was MC's name -> MC herself. His need to protect her, to provide for her, all his own. he's been wearing a mask his whole life, he tells MC straight up that 'maybe this is how i've always been' because that's who he has always been. he's just finally "done playing these games" and is finally unapologetic about what he wants and is tired of fighting himself in getting it. I love him so much for it. "I know best, I'm the only one who can do this for you, and i'm going to do it whether you like it or not." and then if MC refuses to listen to him, if she pushes back, he looks like a kicked puppy and still keeps doing it. He's Like That without the chip. Is what he's doing okay? No man, this is unhealthy as fuck. if you want a healthy relationship based on mutual trust and support, you don't lie to and drug your sister-girlfriend. you don't urge her to be a hunter and then not trust that she can also take care of herself. you don't loom outside the cafe she's out at friends with and scare her friends into thinking you're some kind of abusive controlling asshole. I mean, unless you're caleb, and he doesn't care, he's finally owning his red flags. But I think it's fabulous to see his pikachu face when MC is like, i don't know you anymore, I might not want to see you for awhile, i'm pissed that you're still treating me like a defenseless little girl when i'm a trained killer now too. he deserves to look like that after all the shit he pulls. i like that infold just takes him right to the edge but doesn't push him over into 'okay this isn't fun anymore' territory with all of his core traits and motivations. he does let her go in the end, he lets her get in the airplane, escape the cage he's dying to put her in. with just the little card, begging her forgiveness, the forgiveness she promised him years ago.

But i digress. I really like the main storyline, but it's not without its flaws. So the things I liked: i'm shocked and happy that they made him full on yandere with the drugging mc and locking her in the house and then locking her in the infirmary and sidelining her at every opportunity in order to protect her. Those parts were great. I think the main story line was a wonderful showcase of how him as a character. I love his tenderness, and his suffocating presence were really well done. I loved how unhinged he is when MC says she doesn't need him, and he knocks over the apples and is laughing in breathless disbelief. Unmasked caleb = hot and a little scary. but please note! even when he's really upset, he does not hurt her! he's a hell of a lot more gentle than sylus! just, you know, throwing that out there.

What I didn't like: I thought that the plot was kind of all over the place. and like they often do in games like these, they nerfed MC in order to emphasize caleb's personality and traits and strengths. the whole mia and kevi storyline was a tragedy, and MC made some stupid-ass choices in it for an elite hunter. Like, the parallels with CalebMC were really clumsy, it felt a bit exploitative because they were such little kids, and for me its only value was highlighting how little Caleb cares about collateral damage in his quest to protect MC. He does not give a fuck if a little girl just like MC dies, as long as MC herself lives. That's some stone-cold villain shit, and I like it. They gave me my green flag with Sylus, I'm happy to have someone with such chilling aspects to his character as a nice balance. ALSO with the main storyline: Look, I love the other LIs. But Zayne, you're green grass, you're so lovely, but i am here for my toxic brother-boyfriend, why are you showing up and making me love how gentle and tender you are, genuinely are, unlike the fucked up walking disaster of a man i'm absolutely swooning over, who is gentle and tender in the way a child is when accidentally suffocating carefully-caught butterfly under a glass bell. Go on zayne, back to akso, I want more of the insecure border collie/german shepard crossbreed puppy masquerading as a colonel.

So because I am mainly interested in this game for the characters and their relationships to MC, I don't really mind that my low expectations for the the actual plot of the game tend to be proven correct and leave so much to be desired. but, If the plot was perfect I wouldn't feel the need to write fic to fix it, so I'm not too upset.

Another thing I hated, but I knew i'd hate: their reunion was so tepid. MC's joy in seeing him again, the relief that he's actually alive, her rage, her grief, everything he put her through in the past year -> like with sylus, glossed over, not addressed to the full extent necessary for a fun story or for emotional catharsis. i thought it was hilarious that mc is like, oh my brother is now a space nazi, and she is immediately ride-or-die, 'i don't even care that you're doing such awful shit, i've got your back no matter what,' even though he put her through so much and reveals himself through the whole main story to be Not The Brother She Knew. Who is this stranger? Apparently MC doesn't care, he wears caleb's face, so she's going to trust him. incredible. stupid. hilarious. but, oh well, that's what fic is for, to fix this nonsense. sidenote: Sylus didn't get this level of benefit of the doubt! MC made him suffer for SO long, suspecting him, not trusting anything he did! justice for sylus! and he had done way less horrible shit than MC watches caleb do!

As for the memoria and the bond: i love that he's been obsessed and nuts about her since high school, long before he left for the DAA. I love that the 4 star cards are all set in the past, but slowly show their growing romantic feelings for each other in high school, and don't just focus exclusively on cute childhood nostalgia. i love that they show how loving caleb is, when he's not wearing his space nazi uniform. because yes he's controlling, possessive, ruthless in a way that not even sylus is, but he really does love mc. he really does want whats best for her, and i think one of his character developments in the game will be learning to let her walk next to him instead of always sidelining her and making her feel less-than as a result. i love that she and caleb fight, and get in spats, and then make up, and he shows all of his emotions on his face. I love that in his memories he tells her that she's beautiful, that he thinks she's amazing. he's so open with his affection for her, and i love that so much, it's heart-fluttering.

Also some more thoughts about Caleb and Sylus I was sharing with @minniestarmj today: i love that caleb and sylus are two sides of the same coin. they're both caretakers, they both are obsessive about mc, they both track her and stalk her, and want what's best for her and to be the ones to give it, but Sylus never considered himself human but slowly finds his humanity in mc, and caleb, if he ever had humanity, slowly loses it because of mc.

they're both brain-empty, only-mc levels of motivation. sylus, though not being human, cares about weaker creatures. caleb only cares about mc, despite being human.

sylus is assured, stable, deeply devoted, MC is his other half, and just as strong and capable as he is. caleb is deeply insecure, unstable, has a trouble keeping a lid on his need for control of and protection of mc. sylus fully respects mc, trusts she can do anything, and is just waiting to step in to support when/if necessary. caleb is fear motivated-i think he does respect, admires, worships mc, but is too afraid of anything happening to her and leaving him alone to give her the freedom she craves/needs.

I love that sylus is the king of control, and can give it up so easily to MC, whereas Caleb is so desperate for control, and is always on the verge of losing it around MC. that's a nice fucking contrast to play with in their respective romances.

All in all, with both Sylus and Caleb, I get my healthy, sweetest beyond measure dragon boy and i get my unhinged yandere cyborg boy, and i love them both very much. i'm happy with the caleb as a character, and all the content they've given us so far. it's a mess, just like him.

So! despite all my bitching i love it and I'm having a great time! Thanks for the ask and making it this far in this rambling diatribe!!

[eeuni]

getaway car ! eva

angst, eva (from swarm), blood, no happy ending, lies, drama, death, a little suggestive, cuts

all seemed like a cruel lie, as if you two were cursed. when eva met you, she enchanted you with her beauty, she invited you to her house, she lent you her clothes, she took care of you every day. she introduced you to her curious friends who lived with her, you thought everything was normal for a moment. just a cute girl who loved taking care of her plants and loved spirituality.

you didn't know what you were getting into.

you began to notice how eva let you go out less and less, she would suggest that she go shopping for things for the home and that you sit there looking beautiful. and many times she offered you spirituality sessions, and she had in mind to make a blood pact with you. she was madly in love. she needed you so much, she didn't want anyone to touch you. she told her friends to leave you alone, that you were so quiet for a reason.

the reason was that you weren't a psychopath like all of them. you didn't know that in the past eva's hands were covered in blood, like all those girls. they were there so they wouldn't have to deal with the police. you remember to this day how you would get on your knees on the wooden floor, excited because eva would tell you about her childhood. but all that came out of his lips was a slightly modified lie.

she didn't want to lie to you, but she had to make you love her enough so that you wouldn't run away when you found out about her crimes. and over time, despite those attitudes (she wouldn't let you go out, she would be jealous all the time, she would manipulate you, etc.) you fell in love with her. a lot.

it was one night after having made a bonfire with her friends in her garden where she confessed to you what she had done. she took your hands, she spoke to you softly, she even seemed a little sorry for having done it and she told you that her hands would never again be covered in someone else's blood. another lie.

"it's a shame...but, it won't happen again, okay my sweet girl?" were her words.

and to keep you from escaping she stole a kiss from you, silencing in a second all thoughts of 'oh, maybe I should think about all this'. her hand went up under your skirt and with her fingers she made you forget about any problems.

you closed your eyes tightly and repeated in your mind: 'the past is the past.'

after that night it was impossible to fall asleep. you overthought everything eva told you, your hands shook, you were panicking. you felt confused at first, why had she done all that? maybe now her actions came to life. but was it really good to stay with her? you felt tears threaten to fall. you wished eva was normal, that she had never done anything so you could love her freely.

"hey, is everything all right?..." dre.

you raised your head in fear. she was leaning against the frame of the room you shared with eva, you nodded slowly. no one could know that you were starting to want to leave that place.

"yes...iwas just thinking." you replied, brushing it off.

maybe then she would leave you alone.

"if you want, ill call eva, she'll know-"

slowly dre was turning around, you panicked once again, shaking your head quickly. "no! i—i'm fine!" you prayed to yourself that dre would just leave and stop talking.

"wow, okay. sorry." she acted a little offended, after looking at you for a few seconds she changed the topic. "by the way...do you know where my phone is? i have to see if ni'jah posted."

"no. i don't." you were starting to get anxious and a little upset, you wanted to be alone and be able to think about everything that had happened. "can you please just leave?"

dre let out a sigh, rolled her eyes at your annoyance and left, closing the door. now you could let out that breath that felt so thoughtful and eternal, you lay down on the bed and closed your eyes. your mind began to replay your best moments with eva, how she made you blush so quickly, how she was so soft and sweet that it seemed unreal. you were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't realize she had entered the room when you felt a weight on the bed.

"hi, baby." eva's voice made you open your eyes.

you felt her hand caress your right leg, moving up and drawing her body to yours, almost as if asking your permission to hug you. you left her, loving her too much to push her away, especially when she looked at you like that.

"are you feeling okay?" of course dre had walked into the kitchen and told eva to take care of her upset girl.

this made her curious, she got worried and quickly went up.

you nodded slowly, lying to her a little. eva's hands ran over your waist as she pressed her head against your stomach. "is it because of last night?" she continued talking. "i mean, if you feel—" "eva, stop."

you didn't let her say another word. you looked at her, totally confused about what to do, but you remembered how much she had done for you. maybe deep down she was a good person, but you felt that you no longer knew her fully.

"i love you, eva." you whispered, your hands on her cheeks. she smiled, reassured.

the ties were black and the lies white.

(...)

eva was outside with the girls, in the firelight, you could hear them laughing, talking about nature and its beauty. from the bed, sleep took over you, you told eva that you were too tired to be present that night. she almost called everything off to stay with you, but you told her no, that everything would be okay.

you slept for what seemed like only twenty minutes until you heard heart-breaking screams. frightened, you got out of bed, opening the curtain that led right to where the girls were.

you could see dre coming into the house, screaming and angry. "where's my phone!? i can't miss ni'jah!" she walked up the stairs and into the room, i looked at her in surprise.

she started going through the drawers, breathing heavily. you stood in a corner, starting to shake at the sight of her being so angry. eva came through the door, looking for you. she stood in front of you, as if protecting you.

"dre! its 45 minutes to the festival, by the time you get the—" eva's calm voice was interrupted by dre. "give me my phone."

your skin hit the cold wood of the nightstand next to the bed, you looked at eva. "we are your friends! you belong here."

you still don't really remember how, but dre did break a glass over eva's head. it was the only moment you were able to react. "eva!" you screamed. the woman staggered, falling into your arms and dre tried to attack you. you did everything you could to defend yourself from dre.

"fucking bitch! you're going to die!" dre kicked. you grabbed a sharp glass that had broken loose from the glass and stuck it into dre's shoulder. "f—fuck!" she whimpered.

you stole the keys, took the money, and with eva holding your hand, you locked dre in the room. oh my. what had you become? all the other girls watched you two run down the stairs. drea upstairs was starting to break down the door.

you were so scared but there was no time to think about it.

"oh my god! eva, are you okay?" they were all alarmed to see the blood dripping from eva's head. all those bitches were getting in the way and dre's screams were making you angrier and angrier.

"get out of the fucking way!"

eva was still completely silent, she wanted to see where this whole situation would take you. it was even a little exciting to see you like this. when you opened the door eva followed you, running so she could get into dre's truck and start driving. eva put her hands on the wheel.

"well? drive!" you exclaimed when you saw how she still didn't do anything and dre was already outside, getting into another car.

"yes, ma'am."

she started it, that car became a getaway car. you were lying to yourself, repeating that the person you were was not the real one. you two entered the road, you quickly looked behind your shoulder seeing how dre began to follow the car.

"go, go, go!" your heart was beating so hard you couldn't think straight, all the pressure of the moment was cutting off your breath.

all the commotion on the road made eva leave the road, near a motel-bar she crashed the car into an old tree.

"eva!" you cried, stressed out from not knowing what to do. it was certain that dre would come down and try to kill you two.

you couldn't see anything because of the smoke coming out of the truck, you heard eva cough. you noticed that you two were stuck. from eve's lips came the whisper of your name, you spread the smoke, searching for her face. she let out a moan when you touched her wound on her cheek.

"go...go, please. go somewhere safe." she said.

now you had a reason to leave, but why did you suddenly not want to anymore? you wanted to just die in that car with her. at this point you were crying. the sirens could be heard in the beat of her heart, we were not far away.

"i can't leave you." you answered her.

you were in a getaway car, you left her at a motel-bar, put the money in the back and then stole the keys.

"go."

that was the last time you ever saw her.

you broke the glass, leaving a kiss on eva's lips that mixed with the taste of your tears and her blood. you should have known you'd be the first to leave.

you were crying,

you were dying,

saying goodbye,

in a getaway car.

two years later.

since the last time you saw her you couldn't stop thinking about her, not knowing if she had survived or what had happened. you had been crying for two whole years, everything that had happened that time was so much that you had to see your psychologist three times a week.

eva ran her hands over your body, kissing your skin. you shifted on the bed, letting out a moan. "listen up, hm, i've never paid this much attention to you, ever"

when she looked up, her entire face was covered in blood. her blue eyes were marked on you like two tattoos.

you woke up excited, letting out a sigh as you came back to reality after that dream. you always dreamed about her. you prepared to tell your therapist about that dream, when you arrived at the place where the session would be, you received a notification. your therapist.

"hello, look, good morning first of all. i have to leave the city due to some health problems my mother is having. it was a pleasure sharing sessions with you, i hope to see you soon. today you will be greeted by a new therapist, I promise it will be fun with her, miss! goodbye and good luck."

you froze when you read that, you had the door in front of you and you wondered once again if you should go in and meet your new therapist. your old therapist was comfortable, and you wanted to tell her about the dream.

you gathered strength and something inside you told you to come in. you opened the door slowly. you noticed a figure identical to....

this must be another dream.

the woman turned around with a sweet smile. of course it was her, she was a mastermind.

"hi, im eva."

her cheek was decorated by a scar.

[jjmbbg]

"Healing the inner child"

cw: dean winchester x gn!reader, childhood mentioned, u making dean smile, just dean's birthday!!

tw: j*hn winchester mentioned 👹

an: i've never been to an amusement park, so idk what the fuck happens there lmao

(pics from pinterest)

Dean was never a normal kid. He always wanted to live things other kids lived, like eating ice cream with dad and Sam at a park, or even better, go to an amusement park. I always saw the tremendous machines when John drove along the road next to places like this, flashy with all their bright colors and music playing in the distance.

He casually mentioned it to you, in one of those moments where he drops the randomest/saddest part of his "lore", and you weren't in shock. You never met the father of your boyfriend, but with all the things you heard from him you hated the man's guts with your whole life.

"Where are we going exactly?" Dean asked, his tone playful.

"You'll see" you replied as you drove, matching his playfulness.

"Well... it's not like I can see much with this blindfold on" he chuckled, his laugh filling your heart in unimaginable ways.

"Good, good, because it's a surprise" you chuckled, drumming your fingers on the steering wheel.

"As long as you don't destroy my car, everything is fine" he teased, rubbing a hand over his face, discreetly trying to move the blindfold a little.

"Hey! Don't!" you swatted his hand smiling. "Don't try to get a peak, silly. You're in good hands"

Dean nodded, drumming his fingers on his lap at the rhythm of the music. With your peripheral vision, you could see a small smile on Dean's mouth, making you smile even more. One hand snaked towards his, intertwining flngers, lifting his hand to kiss his knuckles, his cheeks picking some color, a light shade of pink.

"You're gonna like this" you promised, waiting in anticipation for Dean's reaction.

"Then I can't wait" Dean replied, that pretty smile of his adorning his face.

You kept driving for another hour, chatting Dean up —mostly to make sure he hadn't fallen asleep— and sang a few songs together during the remainder of the trip. When you arrived at your destination, you turned off the car engine and smiled, patting his knee.

"We're here" you told him, unbuckling your seatbelt as he did the same.

"Yeah? Can I take this off then?" Dean pointed at the blindfold, smirking.

"Nope, not yet. Just wait up" you giggled stepping out of the car and circled the car. You opened his door and gently pulled him by the hands, helping him to get outside of the car.

As he stepped out of the car, the sound of children's laughter, music and the aroma of junk food reached his ears, raising his curiosity.

"Where are we?" he questioned when you closed the door and locked the car. You guided him lots of steps forward. "You gonna answer to me?" he teased.

"Shh" you poked his side. When you had gone far enough, you squeezed his arm smiling. "Take it off" you instructed, eyes shining with love and that anticipation that was building inside of you.

Dean removed the blindfold, arranging his hair in passing, his eyes adjusted to the sunrays that reached his face. He blinked slowly until his eyes focused on the huge door of the enclosure in front of you two.

It was an amusement park.

He looked at you confused, then back at the place, and again at you.

"Why are we here?" Dean raised an eyebrow, smiling amused. "Do we have a case or something like that?"

You chuckled and shook your head, caressing his bicep above his jacket. "None of that, silly. I brought you here to have fun!" you pointed out, nudging his side.

And oh, God... the sparkle in his eyes and incredulous smile was one of the best things you could have ever seen. He looked at you, almost like he couldn't believe it.

"Are you serious?" he asked with soft voice, but you knew beneath his relaxed and smiley surface, he was jumping like a dog in a park or like a kid in a candy store.

"More serious than ever" you replied, walking inside the place with your arm linked with his. "You said you've never been to an amusement park, and here we are. C'mon, c'mon, we have a lot to see!"

You entered the place, your eyes following Dean's movements, enamored by the fascination on his face; he had that childish look on his eyes that melted your heart.

You took him on almost every ride and attraction, memorizing every cute expression on his face, every laugh, every time he closed his eyes while riding a ride with sudden movements, every time he squeezed your hand, every kiss he gave you... they were the things that stayed deeper in your brain.

Dean was chewing on the remains of a burger you bought him, stealing a French fry from him you laughed. "We have two things left" you told him.

"As long as it's not eating cotton candy again, I'm in" he said, cleaning his mouth and smirking. "I swear that thing will make me throw up again"

"No, no, this is more... relaxed" you wiggled your eyebrows, clapping your hands on his forearm rhythmically. "You done?" you asked, leaning your head on your hand, smiling widely.

"Mhm" Dean hummed, giving you the last French fry that was left in the basket in your mouth. "Now, what else you have planned for us?"

"Follow me" you instructed, standing up from the chair and squeezed his shoulders. "C'mooon"

The hunter chuckled, standing up and letting you pull him by the hand among the people walking around. He was smiling widely, the idea of being in an amusement park sticking to his head, and it was a better experience knowing he was sharing it with you.

After dragging him around for a while, you stood up next to a photo booth and pointed it at him smiling. "C'mon"

"Huh? Why?" he raised an eyebrow, poking your side with his fingers, making you squirm.

"Cut it out!" you said, swatting his hands away playfully. "C'mon, I wanna have a memory of this day and a piece of paper with our faces certainly plays its role. Pleeeease"

Dean sighed heavily, pretending to be against the idea, but then scooped you in his arms and walked inside the photo booth, both of you sitting in the small place. After paying, the poses were really a dilemma, between kisses and hugs, you two in the photos certainly looked blurry, but that gave it a bit of magic.

Now, with pictures in your and his wallet, you guided him to the final attraction. The Ferris wheel had the peculiar characteristic of being the one with the most lights and the most people in line. The wait was a bit tedious, but it was worth it when you got on, enjoying the slow ride.

You linked your arm with his, leaning your head on his shoulder, Dean unconsciously leaning his on yours.

"Why did you bring me here?" he asked softly, eyes fixed on the sky as his hand squeezed your thigh.

"Because everyone deserves a little cotton candy" you replied matching his tone of voice. He chuckled at that comment, shaking his head to look at you on the eye. "And... and because I wanted to see that pretty smile of yours"

"Do you, huh?" Dean raised an eyebrow, eyes filled with love and gratitude, heart beating faster.

"Of course. For you, anything"

Dean pulled back from you and looked down at your face, before cupping your cheek gently and plant a kiss on your lips, savoring the sweetness of your mouth.

"Happy birthday, Dean" you whispered breaking the kiss for a few seconds, making him smile before kissing you again.

[chocol4tte]

Lately I've been dwalling into the Batfam fandom again, even obsesing more in a fic that I've been writing in my notebooks since 2018, but that's for another moment.

I don't usually read too many comics, and tbf, there are a lot and the timelines are a fucking nightmare, I do plan, however, in reading DCceased (?), I love the man that Damian became growing up, and sadly I spoiled myself with the ending, suffice to say, it will be heart-breaking.

Anyway, as I was reading some batfam fics, especially this one: Who tellsa tale of unspeaking death? who will brave this bitter grief? wby an orphan account,, and I absolutley loved it and I love Damian so much, so I wondered how things would've been if:

When Jon left to space with his grandfather to space, Damian was not supportive at first with Jon going to space as he was receiving some weird vibes from the whole situation with Jon's grandfather... Personal experience.

Jon decided to ignore him and say that it will be fine, he needs and wants to learn more about his kryptonian side with his grandfather, Jon and Damian leave with a bitter taste of hteir friendship but, well, may Damian can do other things in the meantime then.

Damian decided to take the time for the Year of Blood penance and meets Maya and Suren and it happens like canon, except, Damian remains dead, things didn't work out and with Dick now being Ric, the family mourns the youngest and now they cannot resurrect him.

In just a matter of two weeks, the Batfamily are receiving the support they need, baby steps, however when Clark lears of the situation he is at the terrible position of notifying his son of his best friend's death. Its already heart breaking seeing his friend's grief over a child no older than 14... Clark is preparing with Lois to deliver the notice.

Its not until some week that Jon returns now almost 6 years older as a 17 teenager, and with the decision of going home and speak with Damian, thinking how he will tell him an "I told you he was creepy af." and maybe, maybe go back with their friend shenanigans, save the cities and have more adventures... telling hima bout the people he met and the animals he saw in different worlds!

When he meets his dad, Jon has a heartfelt reunion with his parents, explains what happened as the years went by and the intergalactic heroes and community he met in his journey back home, and how Damian was correct about his grandfather and wishes to see how his friend has grown up!

Clark soon stops Jon from continue talking about meeting Damian very quickly, the atmosphere becomes akward after that and it's Lois who breaks the news to Jon, he has been out in space for weeks in the first place, not years, and even if he wants to see his friend, well... Lois doesn't get the words out of her mouth.

Jon is atonished, is that the reason why his mom and dad stayed young after 6 years? It was just weeks? He doesn't know what to think of it, until he just flies away from his parents without much of a thought but his heart beating faster and faster as he flies to a different direction and realizes that everything is still the same, it dawns on him as he passes by multiple buiildings... how he was robbed of his childhood. Robbed!

Its not until dusk was setting that he realized he was flying directly towards Gotham City, he needed to speak with his best friend, unaware that his father was flying right behind him trying to stop him.

He wasn't fast enough, Jon is already knocking at the Wayne mansion and almost takes the doors down when there was no response.

Jon is taken aback by Alfred's appearence, he looked older, like he would supposed to look after some time, this already made him a little sick in the stomach, he knew grief, he saw it in his missions in space.

Alfred doesn't recognize Jon, not very much until he sees the Superman symbol in his chest, followed by the very same Superman behind him, apologizing to him and quickly explaining that Jon came back and they had a situation. Clark was planning on taking Jon away from the Wayne mansion until Jon asks where is Damian.

There is no response other than a slight flinch that doesn´t go unnoticed. Jon is insisting where his friend is, and cue Bruce, barely groomed and looking like someone has taken 30 years from him, he is a little surprise by Jon's presence, but when he is asked where Damian is for the third time, he just looks at a defeated and nervous Clark behind him and just... looks at him, either deciding what to do, if lcosing the door and ignoring a teenage boy who will most likely demand answers from him, but thankfully Tim and Jason arrive as well by seeing the conmmotion downstairs and they take it from there.

Jason tries to make small talk in the way, babling about a growth spurt or some cryptonain genes, ignoring that Jon aged faster in space, Clark is trying to explain the situation as well, following both vigilantes to a garden a little further from the mansion.

Tim and Jon are silent all the way, until they see Titus and Alfred the cat in a distance, Tim began talking about Damian going for a redemption journey from a mission he had years before where he had taken multiple lives in just one year, how he met the daugther of one of Damian's victims and the heir of an old Al' Ghul enemy who ended up befriending. They were silently listening to Tim until they stopped at a headstone, where it read in clear letters Damian's name, his birth date... and death date, plus a message and Robin Symbol.

Jon felt as if he was in space but falling into the Void. It was a lie. It has to be. He looked at his dad, saying that it was a cruel joke, but stopped himself from saying it out loud when Clark is looking away, from him and the tombstone.

Anyway, i haven't really given a thought to this, mostly I would love to read this scenario and Jon asking why they aren't bringing Damian back, and when he is being told that no, Damian will continue resting in peace, Jon would be devastated, at first angry... but later on crying on how if he had stayed, his dear friend would be alive and having a future... how he didn't say a proper goodby to Damian and their last interaction was a fight.

Just like Damian's family, all that is left are memories and regrets, something they'll carry for the rest of their lives. :)

[notmorbid]

the silt verses, pt. 2.

dialogue prompts from eskew productions' the silt verses.

there are tides that offer, and tides that seize.

i just couldn't keep going on as i was.

look to yourself first. you can't control how other people see the world.

everyone's walking their own path.

can i trust you to stay?

if you want us to fight, i'm ready to fight.

i've learned to weather as much as i need to.

haven't i given enough of myself to you?

i'm always tired. hasn't stopped me yet.

they couldn't listen, so they didn't know.

i can go. i don't mind going.

take my advice: make sure you're back before nightfall.

this is going to be very painful, like nothing that ever came before. i'm sorry for that.

there's so much out here. so much shape and color and texture and distortion.

there are so many layers of protection against your childhood.

i'm not really sitting here, am i? this isn't really you.

i'm not going to die down here.

you learn to love the wounds as much as what came before them.

i never found a god i could love more than fear.

if it was possible to create something better, someone would have done it already.

the least i can do is send you on your way with a full stomach.

i never had this, growing up.

may your peace find you on a lonely road. may your peace walk on with you for a while.

i'm sorry you've been through so much.

i'm lucky. i do know that.

everything's gonna be okay. i just thought you'd want to know that.

i'm sorry i caused a scene back there.

i don't think i feel the same way i used to.

it's like something has been stolen from me, but i can't tell if i should be grieving for it yet, because i don't know if it's coming back.

i don't understand, but that's okay.

i'm not as simple as you like to make out. i keep trying to tell you that.

i've already apologized twice tonight. i'm not doing it a third time.

i hated you, too.

you're not turning me into an allegory.

i'm sorry. i know that's not what you want to hear from me, but it's the truth.

this thing doesn't come with a face you and i can strike at.

that's my rage to carry. it's my hurt. it's my sorrow. you don't get to share it with me.

stop pretending. stop performing.

you know what hurts most, after all of this? you're still not listening to me.

doesn't that make you ashamed? to scavenge off our lives when they're all we have?

pleased with yourself, are you?

sleep. you've done enough. your work is done.

i wasn't expecting you to be so kind to me.

i thought i must have done something to make you leave.

none of them seem to know what to make of you.

what's in it for you? that's what i don't understand.

i don't think anyone cares who you really are, at this point.

we do have a choice, but it's just one: resist or comply. there is no third option.

it's a hateful thing, isn't it? when it turns out someone really knows you.

i thought your job was to make me talk.

it's good to see you, [name].

[miss-lone-wolf]

so like I am not British, but wolfblood was my shit when i was younger (you never forget the first show you styed up all night bingeing). And I am a masive Maruaders fan.

So for this AU to work for me, whit both the carachters personalytyes and stories and madyan as a couple and still having these characters have the roles of the core maruders boys(honestly most of these are based on their roles in the group, atleast for Maddie and Rydian). It in my head could not be a wolfstar fic. As i don't see Maddie as the Remus of the group.

okay, so first we need to astablish how is how between the maruaders and the wolfblood gang:

Maddie is in my head James, mostly because of the simalereties in home life situations and roles witin the group. The only child with two loving and well meaning parents, even when Maddie thinks they are being ufair or unresnable, they do the things they do and make the decitions the make because they want to protect Maddie and the sceret and they genuinly belive the way they do things will acoplish that. (the side tangent about Maddies parents is over now) And Maddie is the glue that holdes the groupe togheter in wolfblood, just like James is for the Maruaders(in my opinion). Tom and Shannon would never have become friends with Rydian witout Maddie. And I genuinly belive all four of them were actuall friends by the time Maddie left the show.

In this AU i would have Rydian be Sirius. I chose to have Rydian be Sirius mostly becouse of the difficult home life simalerety, as we know that Rydian grew up being bounced around the foster care system and we know that Sirius had a bad home life. We can also exchange Siriuses pasion for music in fandom, for a pation for a nother art form in the form of Rydians talent for drawing.

From prity much the first moment I saw this I have imagend Shannon as Remus (you see now why I said it wouldn't be wolfstar). I imagned Shannon as Remus because (I am bad at explaning things in writen form som bear with me here) we can exchange Remus being a werewolf from a young age with Shannons obbsesion with the beast on the moeres, in this version i would have Shannon have an obbsesion with the creatures in the forbiden forest, in this version the obbsion would stem from Shannon having grewn up in Hogsmead. She would then have grewn up being told not to go near the forest and warnings about the forest, but one day curyosety got the better of her and she went in to the forest and she either saw something or something happend that sparked her obbsesion with the forest and its creatures. I also belive that glasses is the worlds most widley acppted disabilety acomidation and because of that I belive that needing glasses is a disabilety (all disabiletyes excists on a spectrum and some people genuinly can't funtion without their glasses, i belive Shannon is one of those people) (you can't change my mind on this so don't even try).

That leavs Tom as Peter. Tom didn't realy fit as any of the others and we don't realy have a lot of information about pre-1981 Peter, so he is the carachter we have the most creative fredom with.

So on to some plot points in this Universe

this is a no voldemort universe

Maddie, Shannon and Tom are childhood bestfriends in this universe, because their parents were friends and they would often sett up playdates for their kids, considering they are all the same age and so they could aslo hang out.

Rydian is brought in to their group in their first year.

From about the end of their 3. year or early in their 4. year Maddie and Rydien start having felings for each other, but they don't figure out that the felings are mutual until after they become animaguses (I am a sucker for mutual pining ok).

in their fifth year they all disaide to become animaguses to help Shannon go into the forest, to figure out what actualy happend that day in the forest all those years ago.

Maddie and Rydians Animal forms are wolfs(for reasons i hope are obvious to everybody), I belive Shannon would either be a red squirel, and Tom would be zebra.

I belive that there is some level of coralation between what animal someone becomes and were they genetacly have their roots, so someone from Asia or of Asian decent are more likely be an animal comonly found in Asia or someone from Africa, of African decent is more likely be an african animal, native americans are more likley to become an american animal and so on. This came about so that people could more esaly blend in to their local Fauna.

This is all I have for this AU (+ some general headcannons of mine)

You know what guys, I think we British marauders fans are missing out on some huge potential here…

…like the possibility of a marauders x wolfblood AU? GOLDDUST. ABSOLUTE GOLDDUST.

Please tell me this lot aren’t so marauders adjacent… the school setting.. the werewolf characters… it’s just *chef’s kiss* beautiful.

Real question though, which of the marauders would you loosely cast as each wolfblood character?

Like could these divas be Wolfstar in another universe?

And I’ll let you guys decide who these cool kids most resemble :)

Northern girlies and British marauders fans… it’s time to get COOKINGGG !👩‍🍳

[aquanutart]

I absolutely LOVE the Squirtle/Wartortle illustrations by kantaro in Pokemon 151!

The Squirtle jumping so joyfully from the rock into the ocean, the colors are STUNNING! I love the contrast of the Squirtle's aqua blue framed in the vivid orange sky, the soft bit of blue reflecting in its shell and its tail just catching the sun, how little and squishy its body looks as it launches itself towards the water with such tremendous excitement!

The lineless style of the background gives me the feel of a travel poster and I sense the tropical environment around it from the rocks and trees framing the corners, the waterfall splashing with as much energy as the Squirtle!

The layered blues on the surface of the water and the bubbles rising at the corner make me FEEL the liquid rising to meet the Squirtle--I can just feel how the next moment it's going to break through and be immersed in a cool island swim!

And the Wartortle running along the sunset beach, this is somehow everything I always imagined for Wartortle! I adore the way the rich purple melts into the warm red/orange sky, the matching purple clouds and shadows in the foreground, and how the dimming sunlight glows red on Wartortle's deep blues!

I love how the yellow and orange of the sky illuminate the lapping waves, I can just feel the gentle motion of the sea at dusk. The aqua color of the ocean matches Wartortle's ears and tail and sets off the red-orange sand, I just love how the colors are here!

Wartortle looks so round and squishy, I love its happiness as it goes frolicking through the shallows, chasing the bubbles caught in the setting sun! The shine and deep shadow on its shell give it an almost jewel texture like real tortoise shell; I love the silhouetted splash Wartortle leaves as it goes running across the shore. It's so full of energy and delight at the end of a gorgeous day! The colors in these are SO vivid and harmonized and the style is so cute and bursting with energy and joy. I just LOVE it (also Squirtle is my starter)

[reallyhardy]

Sorry what’s up w the Ethan slater stuff? I know him only from your posts / SpongeBob stuff

HI HELLO please buckle in

yep -- the same guy from the spongebob musical, and my posts abut the spongebob musical.

he blew up completely and now the general public knows him as 'ariana grande's new boyfriend' - their relationship seems to have started off the back of co-starring in the upcoming wicked musical film adaptation.

it's just been like. a monkey's paw curling sort of a way for him to get catapulted to fame, as i had always really enjoyed him as a performer (as spongebob, yes, but also in the other roles i'd seen him in,) and my biggest hope back around 2017 was that he would continue in and be really successful in theatre, get a lot of broadway roles, maybe take on some existing parts i thought he'd really suit, like seymour in little shop or ogie in waitress.......... but instead he booked the role of boq from wicked in a massive hollywood film production instead, where he met ariana grande. THE ariana grande.

and then yeah. at some point, he and grande broke up with their respective partners, (slater leaving both his wife AND newborn son) jumped into a new relationship, and now the whole wider internet knows who he is but certainly not for the right reasons.

there's been speculation regarding whether or not grande and slater had cheated on their previous partners before their relationship began with various sources coming out of the woodwork saying "yes they did" and others saying "no they didn't" -- humans are all perfectly capable of making stuff up, the media especially, so i simply don't know who to trust and i admit it had completely shattered my whole good impression of him - PLUS it gave the wider internet an absolutely awful first impression of him, resulting in, yeah, the (frankly, unflattering, sometimes downright cruel) memes of him popping up on twitter and, as i discovered yesterday, in non-theatre youtubers' videos who would literally never have heard of him if not for the slater-grande romance 🥲

FULL COVERAGE of the situation as it was happening can all be found on the lovely @notasimpleslater's blog under the tag 'ozgate' if you want to delve deeper!

[the-casbah-way]

even though i really love what hrt is doing to me it has made me so self conscious because i know my body is changing more visibly now and i don't like the idea that people who know me very well will be able to see that. i just hate the idea of people looking at me. and i worry that the people i care about will like me less the more they look at me because i'm ugly

[astracora]

No wait I'm rewriting this to get my feelings out.

First of all, CN confirming that Caleb and MC were adopted, beyond being incredibly questionable and completely defeating half the fandoms arguments of 'gege is just a cultural thing' because. it's no longer just cultural, it is a legally binding contact that ties people into a family. If they weren't legally adopted that would make sense, but mixed with the LEGAL PROCESS and the term 'brother' makes it very family-lense. Is so fucking foolish, my brain hurts.

Because you can't just dissolve an adoption, its actually harder for an adoptee to cut ties with their adoptive family than it is for bios to do so. There are far more things in place for biological families to severe ties. It's also easier legally to do so. It certainly doesn't magically disappear just because someone died? That's actually ridiculous??

But also, its incredibly traumatic as a process to try to dissolve an adoption, and normally sits on the adopters shoulders to do, and pretty much always has to come before the process is finalised. You can't just go through every legal process, and then go 'actually changed my mind' and file some paperwork? There's an entire legal system in place... And even if it was easy to do. MC has LOST their family to death, and now is being told they don't HAVE family, because legally they're being shoved aside by a system that irl (while has its place), is incredibly corrupt???

In what world would a person face waking up one day, to a TEXT mind you, saying 'yo ur no longer bound as family to the only people who took care of you, godspeed, have a great day, oh ye pick up some paperwork I guess so we can really finalise how alone you are.'

You can complain about the translation all you want, but the way CN has framed adoption in general is disgusting, and the way it's being treated as a plot point actually makes my blood boil a little bit, and I think EN did the right thing in fully fucking ignoring it.

CN needs to get consultants, because adoption is already treated as either some peoples saviour complex, or some kind of subpar way to shove some kids into your family (because you have to i guess???). This entire thing is fucking ridiculous.

Also you can take this as Caleb critical if you like (it's not, it's PG-Critical if anything because I play the game and I'm not MC, and I don't think I am MC when I play), but he's also not a real fucking person, and he doesn't have to hear some of the shit people say about adoptees and live with it digging into his chest like a criticism of everything he can't control.

So maybe, just maybe, we need to stop making jokes about adoption dissolution, and give the 'they're not blood siblings so its ok' shit a rest. AND MAYBE, we need to just accept y'all can like Caleb, and still criticise things, because critical thought is actually a really good thing to practice.

[gilgil-machine]

.

[slamrink]

klay 0 points but he looked sexygorgeous doing it + lockdown defense + mavs WIN and dubs clinch so im leaving here with something 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

[anaalnathrakhs]

btw my mom said it. she said it to me looking me in the eyes. i told her about how difficult it was for me to get through those family reunions, and she admitted it was very important to her, important enough that she was just going to do it anyway.