#I don't want to make light of actual addictions like alcoholism. I'm not. addicted I guess. but I'm absolutely fucking obsessive about shit

[running-in-the-dark]

and I'm having thoughts again

so I've been watching that John Larroquette interview that I reblogged on repeat for half an hour now and I'm just. man I am so very....... okay I'm trying not to say that I'm stupid anymore but god what else is there to say. it's making me feel like my brain just turns off and all there is is static and [insert very high frequency screaming sound].

like I would love to be able to have actual thoughts about this shit but I am not. I just love love love people who think about shit and face their issues and work on getting better. and talk about it. like it's just a thing that happened. because it is. it's not 'oh you did bad shit in your past so you're fucked forever now'. it's 'bad shit happened, I did bad things, I confronted it, I made different choices' and that's it. I just. man I'm feeling really emotional and am probably gonna have a good long cry about this now.

[emeritusemeritus]

Hi love! Could I request a Fred Weasley x Sirius Black's daughter? Like low key goth, full of attitude, and overly confident reader, maybe they're in a meeting for the order and she's giving full attitude or something?? I just need more confident/bitchy reader bro T-T I'm tired of all the 'not like other girls' and shy readers like brother I speak my mind. anywho I love you and you're writing your amazing <3

Hello dear Anon! I hope it’s okay that I tweaked this just a little because I’ve been reading OOTP and it’s a crime that this scene wasn’t included because Fred vs Sirius?! I’d initially planned something much different but ended up 4k words deep here 😂 I love writing a fiery reader and would love to do more of this OC. Hope you enjoy! 🖤

Warnings: mentions of injury, Arthur’s attack, general unrest, drinking, brief mention of potential alcohol addiction, sadness and anger. Fred has big emotions. Mentions of Umbitch. Brief nod to the reader potentially being a seer? Secret relationship that gets revealed.

Word count: 4k words (I got sucked in)

The eye of the snake.

"But professor," you protested weakly, actually considering the implications of your actions for once.

"I hardly think now is the time for propriety Miss Black," Professor McGonagall says as she ushers you through the common room and up the stairs towards the boys dormitories, whilst she heads towards the girls to retrieve Ginny. An odd night all around, you thought.

With shaking hands you held your illuminated wand out in front of you as a beacon, though you hardly needed a guide having made this walk so many times before, though never this quickly and without watching out for every creaking floorboard. You reached out for the door handle and slid it open, trying to stay quiet as to not disturb Lee. George was snoring as usual, surprisingly in rhythm with Lee's slight nose whistle which briefly made you ponder how the hell Fred was able to sleep through this crescendo of noise.

You creep towards Fred's bed first, knowing that time was of the essence and gave him a quick shake on his shoulder whilst whispering his name. You felt almost guilty for waking him, seeing him so peaceful in his sleep, knowing that Dumbledore's immediately summoning of yourself and the Weasley children was an ominous and foreboding sign. He looked so handsome, so relaxed and for the briefest of moments you forgot your assignment, wanting nothing more than to just climb in and cuddle up to him, feeling his warmth and softness.

You'd felt it all night, sleep evading you and your eventual dreams disturbed, the sense of something bad occurring pulling at the edge of your mind like a summoning charm. You'd felt the unease, the disquiet all night but couldn't sense anything beyond that, with no details making theirselves known, no visions of what lay ahead beyond the general sense of impending doom.

"Freddie!" You say a little louder, giving him a harder shake, watching as he stirs and eventually opens his eyes, immediately squinting at the light your wand is emitting. "Get up, it's important." You hoped that your blunt tone was enough to drag him out of his slumber and shuffled off towards George's bed where to attempted to wake him too.

"George," you say, giving him a harsh nudge on his shoulder, knowing that he'd be sleeping much deeper than Fred ever did. "George wake up!"

He groans, throwing his arm over his face but you don't pay him any mind, reaching for his dressing gown on the chair beside him and throwing it directly at his face.

"What's happening?" Fred groans, voice deep and thick with sleep.

"Dumbledore's called for us, McGonagall's getting Ginny, somethings happened."

He was out of bed in a flash, recognising your tone of voice enough to know that you were far from joking. George took a bit more corralling but he was quickly roused as you walked out of their dorm, followed closely by both twins who were every inch as disheveled physically as you felt internally. You met Ginny and Professor McGonagall at the top of the stairs and walked quickly and silently behind her, allowing Ginny to walk ahead with her brothers.

"There's been an... incident," McGonagall says, her words carefully considered to give little away of the situation, another ominous sign. "Your father has been injured, though we don't know how serious it is at this time. Professor Dumbledore is doing all he can with Potter's guidance."

"Harry? What's he got to do with this?" Ginny asks quickly, naturally hanging on every word that the professor said. She looked frightened and you could hardly blame her, considering the news. The twins remained uncharacteristically quiet as you walked quickly through the corridors until you were outside the headmasters office.

"Fizzing whizbee."

McGonagall turns to Ginny, casting a glance to the rest of you out of curtesy as the spiralling staircase presents itself at the correct password.

"It appears Mr Potter saw the attack take place."

"We've located your father and he's been taken to St Mungo's Hospital for maladies and Injuries. I'll be sending you all to Sirius' house, it's much more convenient than the Burrow. You'll be meeting your mother there," Dumbledore explains. At the mention of your father, your eyes shoot up to Dumbledore and it suddenly becomes clear why you have been sent for in addition to the Weasley family. Your dad, the safe house, the order of the Phoenix. Arthur must have been injured during Order business.

"How are we going?" Fred asks, his voice sounding as sullen as his face. He sounds unnerved, shaken, and you fight the natural instinct to reach for his hand. "Floo powder?"

"No." Dumbledore says with a slightly shake of his head, "the Floo Network is being watched. You will be taking a Portkey,"

He indicates to an old kettle lying innocently on his desk, the inanimate object having missed your notice upon entering. "We are waiting for Phineas Nigellus to report back... I want to be sure that the coast is clear before sending you on your way."

His gaze slips to you upon mention of your great-great-great grandfather but you avert your eyes, hardly knowing your place in that moment. Usually you had no trouble expressing your opinion, regardless of the situation, but right now you felt the best thing was to stay quiet and offer a supportive presence.

You thought of your own father, the both of you having spent so long forced apart and of his current predicament, essentially forced under house arrest by the Order. It was safer that way, but your heart still ached for how lonely he would be. You felt conflicted and impossibly guilty at the slight excitement you felt at seeing your dad again in respect of what your boyfriend and the others would be feeling at their own father's fate. Mr Weasley had been a surrogate dad to you whilst your own father was locked away and had been a constant presence in your life, making you feel even guiltier for the hopeful feeling you had about your own dad.

Your eyes suddenly whip around to the flash of a flame from the centre of the office, watching as a golden feather emerges from the combustion, your eyes trailing it downwards as it floats right to the floor.

'"Fawkes's warning," Dumbledore half-explains, eyes flickering between the golden feather and then towards McGonagall.

"Professor Umbridge must know you're out of your beds. Minerva, go and head her off - tell her any story."

Professor McGonagall was gone within seconds, her messy braid whipping behind her as she exits the office in a flash.

"He says he'll be delighted," an all too familiar voice suddenly says in a grumbling, bored voice. Your eyes trail up to the portrait of your ancestor, the Slytherin banner proudly waving behind him, his face as sour as you remember.

"My great-great-grandson has always had an odd taste in house-guests," he adds with a particular distaste before his eyes meet yours for only a moment, recognising instantly who you are. "As does his daughter."

"What a lovely reunion," you snark, fighting back a roll of your eyes as the familiar anger simmers deep in your gut at his choice of words, not even bothering to conceal the archaic values of your ancestors that belong in the past with them.

"You have all used a Portkey before?" asks Dumbledore, waiting for confirmation from you all as you huddle around the old black teapot, each of you nervous for different reasons of what will be waiting for you on the other side.

"Good. On the count of three then... one... two..."

"Back again, the blood-traitor brats. Is it true their father's dying?" You barely had time to register the creaky voice, never mind distinguish his words as you recovered from the nausea of travelling by portkey. Your stomach still felt tingly, the pulling sensation behind your navel and the wind ringing past your ears as you trapsed through space and time was never a comfortable feeling, having ended up in your dad's gloomy kitchen only moments later.

"Mistress Black returns with her blood traitor friends." You're about to curse into the horrible little elf when you hear a second voice shout loudly from the sidelines, rendering you speechless.

'OUT!'

Fred from beside you helps you up, knowing even in his time of need that Portkey travel did not agree with you and gives you a little nudge towards where your dad leans on the doorframe awaiting your arrival.

"Dad!" You scrambled, running off to hug your father who welcomed you with open arms, chuckling heartily as you barged into him with a slam. You felt awful doing this in front of the Weasley children but you'd allow this for yourself now and apologise later. You looked over your dads shoulder through the wild brown ringlets of his hair and saw that a single place had been set at the table, with a single lit candle and the remains of a solitary supper that made your heart clench. He smelt like stale drink, your stomach roiling nervously at the thought. Was that how he was occupying himself?

You suddenly pulled away, knowing that it wasn't the right time for a long, drawn out reunion and stepped back in line, in between Fred and George.

"What's going on?" He asks, turning to look upon the Weasley siblings. "Phineas Nigellus said Arthur's been badly injured —"

"Ask Harry," says Fred, particularly bluntly, no doubt frustrated that he wasn't getting a solid answer. You watch as your dad turns to Harry, pulling him into a warm embrace, trying to get him to open up.

"Yeah, I want to hear this for myself," adds George.

"It was, I had a - a kind of - vision," he stutters, beginning to explain the vision in great detail. Throughout the retelling, you have to stop yourself for reaching out for Fred's hand multiple times, knowing that you can't in front of everyone.

"Is Mum here?" Fred asks, turning to your dad once Harry had explained everything. You watch as George's face fills with dread, apparently having not realised up to now that she wasn't present amongst you.

"She probably doesn't even know what's happened yet," explains your dad. "The important thing was to get you away before Umbridge could interfere. I expect Dumbledores letting Molly know now."

"We've got to go to St Mungo's," says Ginny with a sense of urgency. You watch as she pauses, looking around all of you who are still dressed in your nightwear having been ripped from your beds not an hour before. 'Sirius, can you lend us cloaks or anything? Y/n?"

"Hang on, you can't go tearing off to St Mungo's!" Your dad says suddenly, eyes ablaze as if he's personally affronted by the suggestion. Your mouth opens immediately to protest but Fred manages to find the words first, his face stern.

"Course we can go to St Mungo's if we want, he's our dad!'" You can see how physically tense he's gotten, not taking very well to being told no by someone he didn't see as an authoritative figure, even if it was his girlfriend's dad.

"And how are you going to explain how you knew Arthur was attacked before the hospital even let his wife know?"

"What does that matter?" Adds George hotly, clearly thinking along the same lines as Fred, outraged at your dad's block.

"It matters because we don't want to draw attention to the fact that Harry is having visions of things that are happening hundreds of miles away!" Your dad replies angrily. "Have you any idea what the Ministry would make of that information?"

You reach out suddenly for Fred's hand, trying to ground him. The physical contact seems to pull him back to earth, preventing him from saying something he'd inevitably regret... or maybe not knowing Fred.

Ginny instead tries to offer alternatives in a much more grounded way, "Somebody else could have told us... we could have heard it somewhere other than Harry."

"Like who?" Your dad says impatiently with a sigh. "Listen, your dad's been hurt while on duty for the Order and the circumstances are fishy enough without his children knowing about it seconds after it happened, you could seriously damage the Order's-"

"We don't care about the dumb Order!'" Fred shouts, breaking away from your grip, as if it was holding him back. You're suddenly acutely aware that you are stuck in this awkward position, trapped between your dad and your secret boyfriend, hardly able to say anything to diffuse the situation. Your mouth physically hurts as you bite the inside of your cheek, finding it near impossible to keep out of it.

"It's our dad dying we're talking about!" George yells, mere seconds later.

"Your father knew what he was getting into and he won't thank you for messing things up for the Order!" Your dad replies with as much force as he was receiving, "This is how it is - this is why you're not in the Order - you don't understand - there are things worth dying for!'

You're a second away from physically pulling Fred away, knowing that whatever the next words would be that came out of his mouth, they'd be harsh and venom-filled.

"Easy for you to say, stuck here!' bellows Fred. "I don't see you risking your neck!"

You watch in horror as your dad pales, the look in his eyes darkening and you know in that moment that he'd quite like to hit Fred, something you would not be allowing. You'd been quiet too long, allowed them both to get out their frustrations but you'd had enough of that. You wouldn't choose sides, wouldn't force either of them to comply or get along but for your sake you hoped they could at least be cordial. You'd take the brunt of their frustrations if you had to, just to diffuse the situation.

"Right that's enough," you say, finding the words escaping you before you could really think about what you're saying. "Dad get the kettle on," you say with a nod of your head, a small and very false smile playing on your lips. You turn to the twins, names Fred who looks positively mutinous, trying a much softer approach on them. You know if you reach for Fred right now he'll reject you and you couldn't deal with that so you fold your arms over your chest, looking up towards the towering twins.

"We need to wait for your mum, we'll all set up in the lounge to wait or Gin you can have my bedroom if you want," you offer, casting a glance at the youngest Weasley who looks sullen, shaking her head slightly, as you expected. "Just wait to hear from your mum and then we'll work out our next move okay?"

Fred doesn't relent as easy as George who nods after a few moments in understanding. Instead, Fred is still shooting daggers at your dad over your shoulder and you sigh, knowing he's stubborn as a mule. A few tense moments pass and you watch as his eyes suddenly flicker to yours and soften considerably before he nods in agreement.

"No milk," your dad says suddenly from behind, a look on his face somewhere between disgust and shame.

"Right, butterbeer it is then," you say, trying to redeem the situation, "it's in my bedroom." You shoot a look to your dad, knowing you can't do magic here and you were hardly ready to leave Fred and your dad alone again.

"Accio Butterbeer!" Your dad says, taking the lead. Immediately the bottles of butterbeer float across the room and your dad placed them into the table as you reach and distribute the drinks.

You all take your seats in the lounge surrounding the fire that had dwindled slightly since your arrival but with a single flick of his wand, your dad refreshes it.

Ginny takes the old armchair closest to the fire and curls herself up within it.

Harry and Ron take the two seater, the most uncomfortable seat you'd ever had the displeasure of experiencing and you watch with a barely concealed grin as Ron's face immediately conveys his regret as he takes a seat upon the torture device. You reach for a cushion and throw it towards him; hitting him square in the face but for once he doesn't care but instead smiles thankfully for the cushion, not that it would do much. George throws himself down into the sofa closest to Ginny's chair and Fred follows not far behind. You stay standing, feeling suddenly uncomfortable at intruding and begin to back away from the room until the fire suddenly crackles dangerously. There's a burst of light and you frown, hearing the round of gasps as a scroll of parchment flies out, accompanied by a familiar feather.

"Fawkes!" Your dad says, quickly marching into the room at the sudden disturbance, snatching up the parchment and pulling it close to his face. "That's not Dumbledore's writing - it must be a message from your mother - here."

He thrusts the letter into George's hand, who had jumped up anxiously at the sudden intrusion. George then ripped it open and read aloud for everyone to hear.

"Dad is still alive. I am setting out for St Mungo's now. Stay where you are. I will send news as soon as I can. Mum."

There's a dead silence that follows Molly's communication, each of you thinking the same thing.

"Still alive..." George says slowly. "But that makes it sound..."

Fred pulls the parchment out of George's hands and read it for himself, then looks up at Harry for a moment, before he looks back to the parchment.

"You should all go to bed and deal with it properly in the morning," your dad suggests and before you can deal with the inevitable onslaught from the Weasley kids, you pull your dad away back into the kitchen, feeling the hot stare of Fred burning a hole in your back.

"They're worried about their dad," you say, keeping your voice down so that they wouldn't hear you. "We'll just hole up in the lounge for the night."

"Y/n," your dad sighs but for some reason his attempt to disagree with you seems to anger you instantly.

"What would you do? Just go to bed and pretend nothings wrong?"

"Well I didn't care very much for my father," your dad begins to snark, forcing you to roll your eyes.

"Right, so maybe just pretend you can imagine what they're going through and just accept that they're hurting and need each other right now."

Your dad's eyes widen a little at your outburst but you don't back down, "you don't have to host us, go to bed if that's what you're concerned about, or back to your drink."

"Y/n Black!" Your father shouts but you don't flinch, knowing that you'd simply touched a nerve.

"I care about every single one of them in there, is it not just enough that I want them not to hurt? I care about Arthur too! Can you simply not understand that some people might actually be horrified at the thought of their father dying?"

His eye twitches at your words and you can tell he's considering the possible hidden meanings behind your words.

"Perhaps you care a little more for one of them," he snarks, unable to hold himself back. You see red immediately, only to be fuelled by your dad's following words. "Seems that you've absorbed his anger."

"He's not angry he's terrified!" You can't help it, the volume of your voice raising to match his. "Anyone would be in their situation! I'm sorry we're such a burden to you but the second we hear from Molly we'll be at St Mungo's out of your way."

"I didn't mean."

"No you never do," you say, averting your eyes and turning your body to walk back to the lounge.

"Y/n," your dad says, his tone suddenly back to normal if not sounding a little bit regretful. You sigh, tired and on edge, wanting nothing more than to just sit with your boyfriend and friends.

"You're a good friend to them," he says, trying to find words for the situation. Your nod slowly, the anger fading now as exhaustion washes over you.

"They're all I've had for a long time," you say, trying to avoid the sensitive topic of his imprisonment. "You're right about caring for them, and Fred above most. You're just seeing him on a bad night," you pause. "You know him and George stole the Marauders map from Filch's office in our first year?”

You watch as your dad's eyes light up in surprise, apparently never having been told this particular story.

"If you gave him a chance, on any normal day, I'm certain you'd love him."

"Do you?" Your dad asks gently, big brown eyes imploring your own. You frown, casting a look to the closed door that stood between you and the lounge, as if you'd see Fred through it.

You nod, getting more assured with every gentle movement of your head.

"I should get back," you say quietly, immediately feeling regret at the raised voices, not having expected your reunion to go like this.

When you step into the lounge, it's obvious that they had heard everything, though they all attempt to divert their eyes and look away to avoid making it too obvious but fail miserably. Fred's hand beckons you over and he pulls you into his lap, your head immediately resting on his shoulder, ignoring the shocked looks from Ron at the outward affection.

"Don't say anything," you whisper, looking at the flames of the fire instead of his face.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Fred says gently, making you look towards his face, seeing his tired eyes and the tiny hint of a smile upon his face.

"You're comfy," you say, pressing your head into the curve of his shoulder and you can feel the movement of his little chuckle. Arthur stays at the forefront of your mind and you're certain that there's not a moment he's forgotten amongst his children as you look at them throughout the night.

At some point Fred falls asleep, his breathing evening out as his head lolls onto your shoulder with the new position. His hand is entwined with yours, acting like an anchor so he wouldn't float away with his spiralling thoughts, your legs resting over his much longer ones. George is asleep the other side of Fred, emitting quiet snores and jerking every now and then. Ginny doesn't sleep, you can see the reflection of the flames in her eyes as she stares blankly into nothing and you're unable to tell if Ron is asleep due to his head being in his hands, slumped over. You settle down, snuggling into Fred as the tiredness overtakes you and you hope that when you wake there will be better news.

You don't see or hear your dad step into the room an hour later, pausing as he looks upon his daughter cuddling up to who he assumes is her boyfriend. Instead of being angry or protective as he expected to feel, he feels a sense of calm as seeing her look peaceful in her sleep. He may not have had the best interaction with the Weasley boy but he knows Arthur and Molly, they seemed incapable of raising a bad one

[wannab-urs]

Pedro Pascal Character Fic Recs | Vol 42

AO3 | Kofi | Main Masterlist | The Spreadsheet Masterlist

Howdy Folks,

guess who's back! I don't know if I'm back to doing these consistently, but I have a hell of a list for y'all. Tags and summaries provided by the author, commentary provided by yours truly.

Mindfuck - Dave one shot by @whatsnewalycat

He said he could rattle the bees from your buzzing honeycomb brain. All you had to do was trust him with this power. So you did. And you do. Your valiant beekeeper meets you at this hotel every other Tuesday night, except on holidays.

Hypnotism, hypnosis-kink, Imperfect Praxis of Hypnosis, Humiliation, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Praise Kink, Smut, unprotected piv, D/s dynamic, Dom Dave, Mindfuck

One of the weirdest things I've ever read, but also one of the best. I was super into this. Mindfucking is WILD.... I'd read more of this universe in a heartbeat

Bittersweet Love - Dieter one shot by @ozarkthedog

Dieter is in recovery from drug addiction, the disease that cost him you. This is his first premiere after getting clean and his first one without you.

angst but with a happy ending! mentions of drug use and alcohol but nothing graphic.

This is such a sweet fic? That might be a weird way to describe it. I just love Dieter getting his shit together and all the good coming his way because of it.

Starlet - Dieter one shot by @whocaresstillthelouvre

Your husband has a big movie premiere, sure he looks great, but his co-star looks even better.

PWP, threesome, smut, fingering, oral (f receiving), lesbian fun, unprotected p in v sex, cum eating, addiction talk, sober Dieter, Kit Kats, I wrote this for the bi girls.

This fic is a dream, seriously. I want a hot movie star husband to bring pretty movie star women into my bed please and thank you.

Pas de Deux - Din series by @burntheedges

When Din Djarin – principal dancer at Concordia Ballet Company and generational talent in the classical style – suddenly left CBC and joined the Nevarro Ballet Theater mid-season, it shocked the ballet world. You never would have guessed that he would change your life, too.

modern AU, ballet AU, fluff, angst, flirting, dancing, lots of ballet terms (I’ll define things/link videos/etc. -- see below), misunderstandings, character study, romance, pet names (sweetheart, beautiful), lots of tension, later: smut, kissing, grinding, fingering, p-in-v sex, creampie, each chapter will have its own tags, Din lifts reader (see note below about reader)

This is one of the few modern Din AUs I've read, as I tend not to like them, but I can't recommend this enough. I was drawn in by the summary and hooked by the first chapter!

Never Let Me Go - Ezra one shot by @yopossum

Loving, reverent domestic smut with sweet, submissive Ezra.

SMUT; no plot that’s it just porn but with FEELINGS; sub!Ezra; established relationship; super duper in love; domestic fluff; comfort; gratuitous pet names; praise kink; body worship; body hair; grinding; breast and nipple play; teasing/edging if you squint; light bondage; riding; PIV; no condom (there’s come y’all); religious language and imagery as literary device; Ezra the human thesaurus; prose gettin purple; making grown men whine and cry; reader is not gendered, has breasts and a vulva/vagina, is described as having puffed nipples and dimpled thighs, can straddle Ezra, but no coloring, size, appearance, age, or ability is otherwise noted; Ezra is an amputee and healed and we love it (no gore or trauma or background re: his arm); but I did write this because I was watching Prospect without actually watching and was inspired by *~*those sounds*~* out of context tho; Beatrice is not reader’s name, just a nerdy Dante reference; I stole this title from Florence Welch; old person on tumblr; is this spacing wack?; not a beta in sight; 18+ only no minors

SUBMISSIVE EZRA!!! I loved this. Such a gorgeous fic.

Stick Buddies - Frankie series by @auteurdelabre

You and Frankie find yourselves in a complicated situation when invited to Benny's wedding for a week in Mexico. Despite your strained friendship, you both pretend to be a couple to save Frankie embarrassment when seeing his recently engaged ex wife. However as you navigate through this charade, old feelings and unresolved issues resurface.

friends to enemies, angst, fake relationship, bickering, there's only one bed, destination weddings, enemies to lovers, jealousy, idiots in love, revealed secrets, mutual pining, smut, HEA, so many fucking tropes.

friends to enemies to lovers??? Sign me the fuck up.

Where You Left Me - Frankie one shot by @chaotic-mystery

You meet Frankie for a date and reminisce about your relationship.

MAJOR character death. No movie AU but fuck Tom. This is overall angst heavy and please take care of yourself. Grief & loss, sadness, memories, I think that’s it? It’s just overall a bittersweet and tragically lovesick story. There’s no physical descriptions of reader other than wearing a black dress at one point and having hair that tickles Frankie’s nose. no y/n used

This shit made me cry in the best way. Please read this.

One of Your Girls - Frankie one shot by @pedropeach

unpacking some of frankie's old things leads to a revelation about his past. (OR to put it simply: frankie morales x triple frontier boys circle jerk)

Circle Jerk, Sub!Frankie, Bukkake, Facials, Cumplay, Cum Swallowing, frankie is literally a cum dumpster (and loves it), Praise Kink, Pet Names, Dirty Talk, oral (m receiving), Deepthroating, Cock Worship, Use of restraints, Sexy Photographs, Sharing, brief mentions of anal sex (m/m), for story purposes you are frankie's current gf, frankie x all the guys individually, this includes tom but he's not part of the circle jerk, sry tom

Really was not expecting this to be as tender and soft and sweet as it is considering it's one of the more filthy things I've ever read. Absolutely love it.

I'll Carry You - Javi P series by @almostfoxglove

You reunite with your childhood best friend when he arrives home from Colombia. Javier's sudden return to your life exhumes buried heartbreak, but he longs to set things right.

Eventual smut. Reference to canon-typical violence, injury, and the death of a parent. Plenty of alcohol consumption, yearning, and angst. YEARNING!!!

The yearning is exquisite. The fic is exquisite. I'm in love with this fic

Remorse for Remedy - Joel series by @pedgito

Alone, the Miller's brothers seem like your only hope. The outbreak is still fresh, weeks after the fall and all that matters is survival and the unlikely comfort that comes along with a man who wants nothing to do with you.

early outbreak, canon typical violence, morally grey!joel, smut (warnings given with each chapters), exploration of kinks, enemies to lovers, age gap (early 20s/mid 30s), unhealthy coping mechanisms, detailed warning with each chapter

I haven't ever read a series about Joel immediately post outbreak, which is wild. It's always raider!joel or qz!joel or jackson!joel. I love this new perspective and I'm so excited to read more.

Biology - Joel one shot by @endlessthxxghts

Joel hurt his back at work, so you've been helping him around the house until he heals.

able-bodied, female sex anatomy, and inherently fem!reader. No description of reader, everything is neutral (ex. “your bottoms,” “the curve of you” — nothing is specific in the way “you” are described). Age gap (reader early 20s, Joel in 50s). EXPLICIT MATERIAL PRESENT. HEED THE WARNINGS. WEIRD boundaries are crossed…you're not blood-related to Joel, but you were raised like you were. You call him “uncle.” Pet names (baby, darlin’, sweetheart, etc.). Pussy pronouns (she). Innocent touches until it isn't. Sexual tension galore. Slight dub-con. Icky Joel. Icky reader. Pussy grinding. Dirty talk. Slight degradation (“bitch” is used only once). Multiple orgasms. P in V unprotected. Reader is on top. Lots of teasing about the nature of yours and Joel’s relationship.

Well slap me silly and call me an uncle fucker because this fic was amazing. (they're not really related don't. look. at. ME.)

The Savage and the Sanctuary - Joel series by @justagalwhowrites

After the death of his daughter, Joel Miller fell apart. But when searching for answers at the bottom of a bottle and within his own rage doesn't fix it, he resigns himself to working for his brother in private security. It's a job that starts him down the path to stability and a semblance of a life, even if it's not one he particularly wants. At least it does until you show up. The biggest movie star in the world with your newly adopted niece in tow, you throw everything about Joel's life into flux. Is he capable of letting himself feel something again while protecting the only things left in the world that matter?

Protective Joel, Ellie & Joel Bonding, Joel is Bad at Feelings, POV Joel, Joel Needs a Hug, Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak, Enemies to Lovers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn

So pumped for a new Kit fic. Super into bodyguard Joel. The angst right out the gate is so beautifully painful, I just know I'm gonna cry once a chapter at least. (i've only read one chapter, so I have some catching up to do!)

Professor's Pet - Joel one shot by @chaotic-mystery

Professor Miller wants you to teach the class tomorrow morning & you need help being less nervous. What if he’s the reason you’re nervous, though?

Age gap but not specified, power imbalance (professor x TA, reader stutters when nervous, academic weapon, teasing, fingering, one (1) pair of panties ripped to shreds, oral (f receiving), spitting, pussy slaps, praise kink, name calling (good girl, sweetheart, baby, smart girl), dirty talk, talking you through it, spanking, condescending a little bit, cum eating, face riding, nasty freaky kisses to share your cum, no use of y/n

I cannot begin to explain how hot him helping her practice is. And then the smut.... I need a shower

Call It What It Is - Joel one shot by @joelsgreys

A disagreement over patrol duty leads to declarations that have been long overdue.

JACKSON ERA JOEL. established relationship. HEFTY AGE GAP (reader is in her 20’s and joel is 56). ellie and joel are fine bc i said so and they deserve nothing less. reader handles a rifle, joel’s a little too overprotective and almost seems controlling, but i promise he is not. well, maybe just a smidge. arguing, admission of feelings, joel miller says i love you (yes this is ooc, no i do not care bc i need this old man to tell me he loves me). angst, fluff. quite a bit of side character interaction before we get to joel and reader in the second half. the only physical description of reader is that she is shorter than joel.

We love overprotective Joel in this house

The Guard Dog - Pero Tovar one shot by @avastrasposts

Sent to your uncle's bleak castle in the north of England, you expect only a dreary existence until you meet his groundskeeper, a scarred, frightening Spaniard. But love in the Victorian era is not easy and life doesn't follow straight paths.

this is mainly all fluff with a bit of angst. Some of that casual racism and predjudice of the period rears its ugly head though. I've tried to keep the reader as blank as possible, but it's Victorian England and she's a lady so I have to presume she doesn't speak Spanish and has fair skin. No use of y/n.

This was so beautiful. I love the setting, I love the characterization, I love the story

Bloody Kisses - Tim Rockford/Dio series by @perotovar

shane has been in denial about himself for a while. newly single and with the help of one of his favorite singers, he opens his eyes to a new venture he could possibly take: the cop he sees on a semi-regular basis, detective tim rockford.

takes place in the early 00s, age gap (shane is 23, tim is 40), internalized homophobia, hurtful names (fairy boy, faggot, queer as a slur, etc), a gay porn magazine, lots of references to peter steele of type o negative (and his playgirl issue), male masturbation, acab, angst, protected p in a, fingering, excessive amounts of lube

I started reading this a while ago, but I never added it to the spreadsheet. I'm in love with how soft Tim is with Dio UgH

In the shadows of others, we grow - Tim Rockford/Dave York series by @sin-djarin

What happens when you put two different areas of law enforcement in the same room a few times a year to atone for their 'sins'? You find common ground and figure it out. Together.

M/M, Established D/s dynamics, each chapter contains individual warnings.

This pairing?? Obsessed. The feelings?!?!? Give me 14 more fics in this universe PLEASE

An End to Drought - Javi P one shot by @almostfoxglove

The future of your family's homestead hangs in the balance as Javier Peña comes home in the middle of a drought.

Javier Peña Smut, Soft Javier Peña, Sweet Javier Peña, Javier Peña Has a Big Dick, Smut, Fluff and Smut, Fluff, Neighbors,Javier might be a god? who knows!, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Penis In Vagina Sex, Oral Sex, Creampie, Sex, Vaginal Sex, unprotected piv, Freyr, References to Norse Religion & Lore, Post Season 3

I'm obsessed with the way the challenge was interpreted. Is Javi a god? We don't know... but he sure fucks like one.

Some shit I wrote:

Make it Hurt - Logan Howlett x f!mutant!reader - sparring + pain kink

Morning Ride - Logan Howlett x f!reader - soft morning sex

You're So Dark - Dave York x f!reader - prof!Dave x student!Reader

[sage-green-matcha]

MIRRORBALL - ETHAN LANDRY 🪩

“I want you to know, I’m a mirrorball. I’ll show you every version of yourself tonight.” - Taylor Swift

Content includes: fluff, awkward singing at the end, kissing, low key awkward, light smut! Lots of Taylor Swift references ;)

Swiftie Reader x Ethan Landry!

<3

<3

<3

You stood uncomfortably at the side of the party, your heels were wet with alcohol, the shining silver being hit by the artificial rainbow lights. You took off your headband, playing with the disco balls that stuck out the top. The light reflected onto you and you wondered why no one talked to you, or came up to you to dance. It was always you that had to do it.

You were shining, glistening. And Ethan was one of the only people that noticed. The way you shined pulled his eyes in like a deer with headlights. He couldn't stop looking at you, and he wondered why others didn't look at you at all.

You decided to suck it up, looking for anyone to pull out to dance. Your eyes lit up when you spotted Ethan, you knew he was chads roommate and he was also in your Econ class, you also may or may not have a small, flourishing crush on him. "Hey, Ethan" The music got quieter as you approached him, your dress making a tassel sound as you walked. "Hi...what are you?" "Oh, I'm a mirrorball...well I'm a disco ball...It's a Taylor Swift thing" "Oh, I don't know that much about her but cool, you...you look pretty" he could get a closer look at your face. Your eyes were gently patted with silver and white eyeshadow, small gems around your eyes.

"Thanks...I mean thank you, you wanna dance?" You hid your face, blushing at his words "I'm not very good at it" You smiled, your eyes creasing up when you did. "Me either" you shrugged. "Uh, alright then" you took him by the hand, pulling him into the living room. A new song started up, a smile on your face as soon as you recognized the melody. "This is Taylor isn't it?" He'd seen you get excited about a song once or twice before, going home and looking up the songs. He actually enjoyed them, learning the lyrics just for you.

You spun him around, a laugh escaping your mouth since he spun the wrong way. "I think you can do the spinning" he blushed. You stood on your tiptoes, heels gliding you on the wooden floor. The light hit your dress and the shatters of silver light hit Ethan's skin. He was mesmerized by you. You were more than underrated. He didn't understand how no one took you into consideration. It upset him, almost making him mad.

You were such a good person, yet you were always dragged around or left behind. It's like the two of you were tied together with an Invisible string. You were like him, and you didn't make him feel bad about it, unlike Mindy or Sam. "You're shining" You'd never seen someone look at you like that before. It made you feel special. "Just for you" he paused at your words, pulling you closer.

You pressed your hand against his chest, looking up to meet eyes."It's rude to stare, Landry" You barely had time to think before you felt his lips pressed onto yours. He was fearless as he kissed you, making you melt deep into him, closing your eyes. The cherry alcohol seeped from your mouth into his, the taste addicting just like the soft feel of his lips.

His hands were placed on your hips as you pulled away, going back for air. You rested your arms on his shoulders, pulling him back in for another, deeper kiss. "What is happening here? Uhm are we just gonna ignore the fact that these two are practically fucking each other right now?" Mindy's eyes were wide, Chad with a smile on his face.

"Ethan! And that's how you get the girl!! My man!" Chad smiled excitedly. You pulled away, looking at them confused."Mindy shut up, you and Anika are always all up on each other" Chad patted Ethan on the back, standing awkwardly. "Uhm, I think we're gonna head out but I'll see you newlyweds later" Anika joined Mindy's side, waving at you with a small smile.

"Should uhm, we also go?" "We can go to my apartment" his eyes beamed and he nodded, following you out. The walk to your apartment was quiet, small chatter from time to time. You were both too nervous thinking about what might happen tonight to talk. "Do you live far from here?" You shook your head. "I rent a place on Cornelia Street, so only about a 10-minute walk" You were wonderstruck as you walked alongside him, blushing with each step.

You felt your heart race as you unlocked the door, closing it behind him. It smelled just like you, the sweet vanilla chai fragrance filling his nose. He noticed you taking your shoes off, leaving them by the door. "Oh uh, do you want me to take them off?" "If you want" you shrugged. You wrapped around your kitchen, going over to the fridge. "You want something to drink?" "I'm fine. Thank you" he smiled sweetly before looking back down, your cat sitting down on his feet.

"That's Toby, he can be a bit dumb sometimes but he's really friendly" You took a drink of your water, Toby scurrying over to you in a hurry. You picked up the kitten, throwing him over your shoulder as Ethan followed you into your bedroom.

He was in awe, the room was covered in string lights, vines, and curtails hanging from your ceilings. The posters on your wall were messy but also organized, and a record shelf in the corner of your room. Your room smelled different than the rest of your house, the incense on your shelf creating a deep, burned scent. "I don't think I've ever seen one of these" he spun the side of your record gently. He glanced to another corner of your room, noticing a small piano with books piled up on the side. Two guitars hung on the wall.

You came up behind him, wrapping your arm around his waist, taking his hand in the direction of the needle. "Pick it up...and place it on the disc" You guided his hand as he let it drop carefully, the first track from the vinyl playing. "You have all her albums?" "Yea..." you sat on the bed, taking him with you.

The soft sound of "My Tears ricochet" spilled into your room, your head on his shoulder as your kitten sat in his lap. "He likes you" you giggled, Ethan's hand gently petting him. You liked that about Ethan, he was shy and gentle, with you and your friends, with classmates and teachers. He could do no harm.

He was the kind of boy that would bring you flowers, handing one to your little sister to make her feel special too. He took everyone into thought, he wasn't like the regulars, and he didn't engage in revelry or try to go out of his way to impress girls. His grades and perfect hundreds didn't impress you, they kinda intimidated you. He reminded you so much of yourself if you hadn't been curved and bent under the pressure of your parents and teachers.

"You know...I listened to all of Taylor's albums because I wanted to bring it up with you. But I've been too shy to say anything...I've actually grown to really like her...her music is a bit too relatable" Your face was flooded in a maroon color. "You did that for me?" His smile began to look like a smirk, making you roll your eyes.

You looked over at the clock on your nightstand, it was already midnight. "I'm assuming I'm allowed to stay over?" You nodded. He knew you'd want him to stay, he had already made himself at home. You watched as Toby wobbled out of the room, a small adoring smile on both of your faces. "He's really cute, takes after his mom" "You're really cute too" You pressed your forehead against his, your thumb lightly swiping his bottom lip.

He placed his hand on your neck, thumb rubbing your jawline softly as he pulled you closer. It's like he was doing it on purpose, teasing you knowing you would break first. You didn't care, falling on top of him, the material of your dress falling on his skin. Your lips were desperate for more, your hand running up under his shirt. You were sure Ethan was just skinny and lanky, but with the way those collared shirts hugged his biceps, you should've known better.

He let out a small whimper, your thumb matching the same pattern he did on your jawline. His warm hands climbed up your back, lips continuing to kiss you, slowly pulling away to give attention to your neck. You were surprised about how good he was, it's like he already knew everything that would make you feel good. "Can I take it off?" He pulled away, waiting for your response. You nodded and he didn't hesitate, pulling down the zipper slowly.

You sat up, peeling the silver dress off of yourself. His eyes widened when he realized you didn't have a bra on underneath. You placed it gently to the side since it was kinda expensive. You bought it with this exact scenario in mind, you bought it so he could take it off of you. "I would've taken that off much sooner if I'd known you didn't have anything underneath" you chuckled, collapsing into him with another kiss. You became hungry for his lips, his skin. You wanted him so badly. Your stomach was overflowing with butterflies, you'd never had someone so close to you before.

His hand cupped one of your boobs, thumb lightly flicking your hard nipple. You frowned when he pulled away, instead his hands now grabbing your waist, pulling you onto his lap. You looked down at him, a smile on your lips. He looked so good from here. You ran your hands through his hair, sitting yourself on top of him as his hands roamed your body. He was addicted to the soft feel of your skin, the way it smelled, and the small marks that were sprinkled all over it. He wanted to make more on you, on your neck, your chest. He wanted everyone to know that you were his.

You felt him grow hard underneath you, a small gasp escaping your lips. He closed the space between you, kissing and licking at your neck. Sucking on your skin with just enough pressure to make it enjoyable but to also leave a mark. Boldness flooded him as he saw the first hickey he made. Now anyone that saw that would know you were his, only his.

☆ ~ ☆ ~ ☆ ~ ☆ ~ ☆ ~ ☆ ~ ☆ ~ ☆ ~ ☆ ~ ☆

You cuddled up to the blanket, body bare beside the panties that you managed to get on. Your eyes were glued to Ethan's face, his soft breaths mixing in with the sound of the end of your record. It put the two of you to sleep, waking up to the repeating sound of static.

You watched as he fluttered his eyes open, smiling once he caught you staring. "Creep" "Don't act like you don't like it" You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling yourself into his chest. Your warmth mixed, bare boobs on his chest as you played with his hair, Ethan's eyes never coming off of you.

You combed your hands through his brown curls, pulling out face-framing pieces that tickled his forehead. He smiled, closing his eyes. "Stop acting so sweet" you scoffed. "Acting? I'm so sweet Y/n, what do you mean?" He teased, pulling you into a kiss with his hands on your back.

He looked over you, eyes back on the corner of instruments he saw when he came in. "You can play all of those?" You turned to see what he was talking about, forgetting the own layout of your room. "Yea" you got out from under the covers, Ethan frowning at the loss of contact. He watched you as you walked to your closest, pulling an oversized tee over your body.

"You look better topless" you mocked his words, grabbing your guitar from off the wall. You tuned it up a little, Ethan watching you with curiosity. You plucked the first couple of strings and he was taken back. He didn't want to say he thought you'd suck...but he really thought you were gonna suck.  He watched as your fingers glided along the neck of the guitar, fingers on the strings as your other hand plucked them carefully.

"Yea I showed up at your party, will you have me? Will you love me?"

Your head rested on the guitar, smiling at Ethan as he watched you with awe. Your soft voice filled his ears, his heart melting with your voice.

"Will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends?"

You exaggerated your expression, Ethan biting back his lip with his his hand on his jaw, holding up his head as you sang. You were really perfect at everything. He couldn’t think of anything better that he could be doing, well besides you. But he already did that. His admiration for you only grew with each second, a hot feeling in his stomach. He felt like a little schoolboy with a crush, except he actually had a chance.

"If you kiss me, will it be just like I dreamed it? Will it patch your broken wings?" I'm only 17, I don't know anything but I know I miss you"

[raving-raven-writing]

Recom Headcanons

So, some of this is from my mind, but some of these headcanons I'm sure are based off others' headcanons I've seen. Also, some of these headcanons may actually be written in terms of some of my fics that I have written for Avatar. Particularly if you have read my story Lost and Found or any of my Recom Smut series. @hellpmeimobsessed You asked me to tag you, so here you go! Warning: Some of these headcanons may contain mention of past abuse/past child abuse/past sexual abuse, and may also contain content in terms of what the character enjoys in the bedroom Brown: -Was SAed when he was younger -Loves karaoke, even though he might be a bit tone deaf -Enjoys cuddling naked with his partner -Did modelling for a brief period of time before he decided to join the marines Fike: -....I got nothing for him, sorry. No hate to him, just don't have any at the moment.

Ja: -Was raised by his grandparents -Seeing the EMTs work on his grandma sparked his interest in wanting to become a medic -A sensitive soul, rather quiet and reserved -Enjoys movies, most genres except for horror; is a bit of a baby when it comes to the scary movies -Has minimal sexual experience compared to some of the others; but has always wanted to titty f**k his partner -Him, Prager, and Lopez are close

Lopez: -Is a masochist and will openly admit to it -Comes from a large family, a middle child of five. Very close with all of them. -Has problems with authority figures, always having to hold his tongue so he doesn't get himself into trouble -Very protective to those he loves or is loyal to -A rather horny drunk...this may or may not be how he and Ja got it on Mansk: -Has a light sensitivity, hence the sunglasses all the time. But also uses the sunglasses as a layer of protection of being perceived by others -Sits somewhere on the autism spectrum but was never diagnosed, comes across as just being "socially awkward" -Gives off the "strong and silent type" vibe -Was sexually abused by his uncle as a child well up until his late teen years -Definitely a mama's boy - The younger of two kids. Has an older sister named Nora -Turned to cooking as a way to cope with his trauma--found he had a gift for it and just kept at it. But also enjoys making others feel good by being able to give them a good meal

Prager: -Is a pothead -Grew up with alcoholic/drug addict parents, but was eventually fostered by an old teacher who took him under their wing -Likes most types of card games and board games -Stress cleans -Enjoys rollerblading and skateboarding -Easy going/go with the flow type of person--both in day to day things and in bed Quaritch: -Grew up on a farm -Raised by an abusive/alcoholic father and a mother that fell ill when he was in his teens -The oldest of three children---lost connection with his siblings when he left to join the military -His relationship with Paz started as her simply flirting with him based on a dare, but eventually turned into a fling as Miles was impressed by her boldness -Smokes when stressed but turns to alcohol as a bad coping mechanism if given the opportunity -Enjoys camping and hiking and being able to be out in nature so he can reflect upon life and to be able to get more in touch with his emotions -Likes to take charge in bed, but Paz is able to persuade him into being a sub in some situations Wainfleet -Has a bit of a crush on the Colonel. He thinks it isn't obvious, but some of the others see it -Is a switch in the bedroom. But prefers to be the sub when he is with his girlfriend, Mina. -Makes jokes constantly despite the fact that he struggles with his mental health--saw being the funny man as a way to make others like him -A middle child of three; has an older brother who is also in the military, but joined the Army branch, and a younger sister, who died when he was about thirteen -Grew up on a farm, although not many people know this -Grew up being rather sensitive and a "cry baby" as his brother dubbed him. Was a big mama's boy and her death damn near broke him -Smokes when stressed

Walker: -Likes to scrapbook in her spare time -Her and Z-Dog have flings with one another, but neither of them would label themselves as an "item" -Likes to sit down with a good book on a stormy day and curl up by the fire with some comforting snacks Warren: -Gives off the "strong and silent type" vibe -Has a crush on Mansk (initially unrequited?) -Is gay, but no one knows this (at first) -Is very much a wallflower, people forget he is there sometimes -In sexual relations, is very straightforward and a take charge type of guy--but makes sure that he is never rough with his partner

Z-Dog: -Grew up in a house full of men. Her mother left when she was young, so she just had her dad and her three brothers -Was very much a tomboy before realizing that she liked girls more then she liked men -Her father was a mechanic so she knows her way around a car -Enjoys physical sports like boxing and kickboxing -Chews gum as a way to manage her anxiety as well as to curb any emotional eating Zhang: -Is one of the three "strong and silent types" (with Warren and Mansk being the other two) -Rarely smiles -Enjoys shibari (Japanese rope bondage) and 69ing -Looks mean since he has a "resting bitch face" but can be quite gentle and doting with his partner -Joined the marines as a way to rebel against his parents since they wanted him to become a doctor or lawyer or engineer.

That's all I got for now. Might eventually develop some headcanons for Fike and might add on to what I have here. Hope you enjoyed reading!

[thatgirl4815]

One thing that strikes me about Ray/Sand vs Ray/Mew is that for the life of me I just can't picture the Ray who jumps on Sand and sticks his smelly pits in his face, the Ray who is cheeky and playful and a bit goofy, doing those things or acting that way with Mew. And I don't even mean within the context of any romantic relationship - I find it really hard to imagine their friendship having any such similar moments, where they're just two boys being a bit daft. With Sand Ray can be flirty, sensual, fierce, but he can also be silly, petulant, carefree (whilst sober). I just can't see him exhibiting that duality in his relationship with Mew. In their scenes previous to The Dance of Doom, he's usually been quite serious, heavy, earnest - weighed down, whether by Mew's expectations or his own feelings I don't know (likely both). He just seems so much lighter when he's with Sand (and they're apart from everyone else). I'm not saying it's Mew's fault - maybe it's a result of the pedestal he occupies in Ray's mind, but I just thought it was interesting. Ray often seems like an entirely different person when he's with Sand. And I think that's why those of us rooting for a (healthy) endgame are so invested, because in those interactions we see the person Ray COULD be, and it's pretty clear it's Sand that brings out that potential. Again, not saying he doesn't also require a shitload of soul-searching and professional help, but how could you NOT want him to reach that potential? And I'm almost certain the showrunners would agree. Now that doesn't necessarily mean the only way to get there is a Sand/Ray happy ending or that Sand owes it to Ray to put up with his bullshit in the meantime, but I think Sand wants that for Ray too and I don't think that makes him pathetic. I think Sand is pretty good at spotting when Ray's behaviour is that of someone in crisis vs being a brat/careless. It's probably why he requires an apology for Ray dropping him at the end of ep 3 but not for the insults at the end of ep 6 (well that and the whole near death experience!). No, Sand is under no obligation to keep loving/caring for Ray at his worst, but if he CHOOSES to do so because he's seen him at his best and because he knows the pain that lies beneath it all, well then actually that's something quite remarkable. Not romantic, mind you - remarkable. I'm not romanticising anything. But to me that shows a strength of character and a depth of compassion that's worthy of respect.

Great observations! I also can't really see a teasing, light-hearted RayMew relationship (at least, not when they're both sober), mostly because we haven't seen that dynamic much at all between them as friends. The thing that makes friends-to-lovers plots so successful is the chemistry between friends conjoined with romantic chemistry. And I don't get much of either of those between them (possibly because the vast majority of scenes between Ray and Mew only are about Ray's alcohol/drug problems).

A lot of this goes back to what you said about Ray putting Mew on a pedestal. It's always felt like Mew is in a superior position while Ray is only pining after him. With Ray and Sand, we see Sand acknowledge the dangers of Ray's behavior, but it never comes across as domineering or self-righteous (reminds me of @bird-inacage's analysis here about how Sand and Mew react differently to Ray's addictions).

I definitely think Ray is a better version of himself with Sand. He's noticeably less drunk around him, he opens up about his past, he apologizes and speaks relatively openly about his feelings, he makes an effort to invest in Sand's interests...the list goes on. Those are all signs of a healthy relationship built on mutual interests. For Ray and Mew, I think it's fair to say there are other motivations beyond romantic feelings.

I also admire Sand's depth of compassion. As you said, he is under no obligation to keep coming back to Ray and caring for him the way he does, but the fact that he is doing that despite knowing that he deserves better says a lot about his values. When he cares for someone, he cares for them deeply, despite the pain they might inflict upon him. For someone like Sand who seems so headstrong in other areas of his life, there's something endearing about how soft he is for Ray.

[eddiediaaz]

I’m going to send you the same thing I sent op but in a less rude way because I do follow you and like you!

“As someone who's bi, has been sexually abused, has daddy issues and has adhd, I don't agree with what you've said at all. I liked Tommy and Bucktommy until 7x09, I don't like his humor and I don't like how rude he talks and I respect people who do, each to his own. Also, good for them for having sex and kinky sex.

The reason why l've been a problem with this daddy kink joke is that wasn't the moment. You said "don't do a daddy issues joke if you don't want a daddy king joke", well no. I can joke with my traumas, because they're mine, I don't want you to joke about my traumas. Plus, having daddy issues doesn't mean that you have daddy kink. For someone who was saying a lot of things about assuming, that's assuming too. Not everyone with daddy issues have daddy kinks and for some people that joke can be triggered at.

And that has been the main problem people have been saying about the joke. No that they have kinky sex, which okay good for them, Buck has been having kinky sex since season 1 nothing new there.

The problem is that how something that is important, that can be triggered, that it was a vulnerable conversation was made into a sexual joke when it wasn't the moment.”

And adding: You can interpret that scene as flirting, which no, but okay, it’s valid. It’s also valid to interpret that scene as gross, especially if we have daddy issues and the last thing we want if to make our issues a sexual joke, valid too. Accusing us of homophobia just because we don’t like a joke, that’s not valid, that’s just creating a war using big and fancy words.

Hope you’re having a good day and hope you had it still having a good trip :) <3

okay so i don't think everyone reblogging the post is being a homophobic piece of thit, it is just a tumblr post after all. i'm a very nuanced person and i don't think reblogging or liking a post even means you agree with all of it. but i have seen some fucked up tags/reblogs and those are problematic. those do reek of homophobia. it is a big word because it's a big accusation that's for sure warranted in some instances.

this definitely comes down to personal interpretation, in this case, i think. because as someone who's also bisexual, also has daddy issues (my dad was a drug addict that was absent for a while and my ex step dad for my whole childhood was very alcoholic and abusive & manipulative man towards me until i left home at 17), and also has experience with (childood) sexual assault, i definitely saw this scene as some light flirting after a more serious conversation. tommy asked him if he was okay, they shared personal things about their fathers, and then there was a bit of flirting. one light hearted joke that matched buck's tone. and some people are acting like he told buck to get on his knees and call him daddy when it's not what happened at all? as always, some people are extrapolating what actually happened. buck is no stranger to dirty jokes and innuendos, like you said. what is true for some people ("not the moment to make a sex joke"), does not mean it's true for everyone and all fictional characters.

also not liking tommy or his humor or the ship or this scene or this joke is 100% valid, nothing wrong with that. it's just personal opinion. but when people say or insinuate he's being a predatory gay man towards buck? that he should be killed over it (even as a joke)? that's messed up, in my opinion. and there's a big difference between not liking something for yourself and accusing a gay man of being predatory. that's when that line gets crossed that i have issues with, and me reblogging 2 posts about it, that's what it meant for me.

ultimately i just think that was meant to be a lighthearted scene in a very trauma heavy episode? obviously it missed the mark for some people, but people jumping through hoops to call tommy predatory and a bad person over this, it's just such a reach. it's obvious to me that buck liked the joke with the smiles they shared, is it not? also some people are acting like tommy ordered him to call him daddy from now on lol, when all he said was "god, i hope you do." like that's pretty harmless actually sfdjkhbfds

anyway, i'm sorry you can relate to all of these, sending love <3 and also thanks for not assuming the worst of me, i guess? because that's what i always try to do with people. but if you don't agree with me and unfollowing me would make you feel better, well no hard feelings. curate your dash and all that!

[eemcintyre]

"Seawolf: The Pirate's Curse" (2005) review

Surprisingly, honestly... why did I enjoy this? I guess after a couple of major misses for me in the form of "The Kidnapping" and "Beyond Forgiveness", my expectations were appropriately low, but this one actually had some likable characters and humor, and that always manages to rope me in. I have a soft spot for fun, silly action fare like this bc of childhood shows like "The Greatest American Hero", I think.

So, the title never makes any sense... what was it supposed to mean? what curse?

First and foremost, I must say TIG is looking oh-so-very pretty and rugged here- the necklaces, the bandanas, the curly-q hair, the tank tops, the sweaty, the ARMMMSSSS 😩

Initially had absolutely no clue what was going on in the beginning; a bunch of people with weird ass outfits in the dark and I was just like please no don't let that be him in the damn fucking cape and eyepatch and o n e l e g; I was like he can't possibly have one leg the whole time, right?? 🤨

But yeah I was definitely experiencing the "dear God what did I get myself into, cheers to another awful mess" 🫡🥂

Why does half the audio sound dubbed (particularly everything that comes out of Rachel's mouth)? Also props to Rachel for being the most emotionally unaffected person ever bc her reactions were so disproportionately calm to what would happen if my bf was constantly disappearing overseas and totaled my gorgeous pink car

We're getting some very Max Parrish-type hooting and hollering up in here; a concise summary of Thorpe is that he's basically if Max had a boat and was an alcoholic instead of a drug addict

We get another hallmark of TIG's movies with a slew of incredibly cringe one-liners that elicit a physical reaction of pain from me, but for every few there was actually a genuinely funny one here and there, so I'll allow it this time...

The whole "I'm a pirate, my father was a pirate, etc." speech had me ROLLING and NOT IN THE WAY THE WRITERS INTENDED I THINK BC HUH??

When he met Helene in that random room full of paintings I was sure we were supposed to take it that the mission was smth art theft-related. but no she just has a passion for maximalist design ig.

Why does the camera get randomly shaky for no reason? Very avant-garde of them

Am I the only one who thinks that Carlos looks like a Walmart George Clooney? Someone else pls tell me I'm not insane

Always throws me off-guard but it's such fun to see TIG in an uncharacteristically light scene like the one where he's dancing in the parade and surrounded by the circle of dancers in the bar. At least he seemed like he was having a good time in this movie 🎉

Ramon and his lil book and the bar scene of Thorpe and Helene drunkenly arguing w each other and sitting on the side of the road was what really started to sell me

anD THEN HE FKIN DR A G S HER ASS 😂

Plus I cannot go without mentioning my appreciation for the way he was holding her knee 👀💕

Love how he spends the majority of this movie just dressed like someone's hot dad who works out, in his cargo shorts, tank top and goatee- oH WAIT IT'S BC HE IS A HOT DAD WHO WORKS OUT IN REAL LIFE

Love how Carlos and all the other villains are devoid of personality or motive except for ~money~, like "the Colonel" doesn't even have a name!!!

Was genuinely stressed that my boy was going to clock himself in the head when he was swinging that rope trying to scale that building

When Helene straight-up PUNCHED HER SISTER IN THE FACE like these ladies have some beef and I need to know where it stems from

This film is another great example of TIG's grossly underutilized comedic potential- a là the map reading scene

Hilarious how Carlos just shrugs like "I don't care, whatever I guess" when who he believes to be Marlena says she wants to say a dramatic goodbye to Thorpe

Ok but how did he not die?? Thank goodness but how??

Even more hilarious how the Colonel, who has had nothing but hatred and murderous intent for Thorpe throughout, is just so touched by Thorpe's being a ✨ big softie with morals ✨ that his vengeful compulsions are soothed and he's content with taking the gold like "hey bro, we're square now <3" and just fuckin walks away

Good on them for giving the treasure back to Mexico

Was legit concerned for too long there that they weren't actually going to end up together and I was screeching

DO THEY ACTUALLY USE THE SAME SHOT OF THE BOAT AT SUNSET IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MOVIE AND AT THE END?? lmaooo

Honestly, I think they could have leaned even more into the humorous aspect and the treasure hunt part of the film; made it a bit more of a National Treasure/Indiana Jones sort of thing, and I definitely would have liked some more character development, esp. for the sidekicks and villains, but overall, I award this film an unexpected 6/10. I had a good time 🙃🩷

[gingerylangylang1979]

Will Carmy become an addict?... Also, exactly what are his mental health (or other) issues?

This conversation is an offshoot of thoughts expressed here in conversation with @november-rising.

I'll start by saying I do not think Carmy is currently an addict or in recovery from an addiction. But, could Carmy become an addict like his dad (was he an addict or just a heavy abuser, we don't know) Mikey, and Donna? Maybe. Also, I hope nothing I write is offensive to anyone. If anyone thinks there is something I'm missing or misrepresenting please share and we can talk about it. I'm open to learning.

The statistic rates for people impacted by another person's addiction becoming an addict themselves is high. I myself had a drug addict mom and an alcoholic ex. I dabbled in drugs but never became an addict unless you count cigarettes and weed (no longer do either). How me and my brother didn't end up addicts despite our experimentation with hard substances is beyond me. All of the prerequisites were in place and I feel like we almost were tempting it like, come on, I know you want to take me, yet, neither of us ended up addicts.

Sometimes I felt it would make things easier. I think it was Lou Reed, maybe, who said something like addiction made life simple because then you only have one problem to deal with. I wish I only had one problem. I tried stuff as hard as coke, meth, and opium. I was a bartender and partied but never became an alcoholic. My brother went as far as trying heroin a few times. But neither of us became addicts. It's insane if you think about it.

Does that mean we didn't/do participate in fucked up self-destructive behavior? Hell no. Most of my life I have battled with trying to "be normal" all the while self sabotaging all along the way. But I never became an addict.

This is why it's so easy for me to see Carmy in all of his darkness and still see how he isn't necessarily someone doomed to become an addict. Nat didn't become one, me and my brother didn't become ones. I see a lot of us in Nat and Carmy. Carmy is way worse off than Nat, for sure. How, I dunno. And I would say I'm closer to Carmy in the melancholic creative way than my brother. So it's kind of a weird blessing that traumatized people who you would think would become addicts, don't, but it happens.

Could Carmy become one? I think if he continues to not address his issues with individual therapy, continues to blame himself, and just continues the same grind he wanted to escape, possibly. But I'm looking more to how Storer and Co. are telling the story as my signs more than Carmy's actual history. I guess I just don't see what the show would have to gain from Carmy becoming an addict. It would be a tragic ending. I'm not beyond them doing some tragic ending but I think it would just be kind of lame and what was the point if it ends with Carmy continuing the cycle and becoming an addict.

I see him and Nat as the second chance for the Berzattos. She is about to be a mom and hopefully will raise a child that doesn't have to witness any of the trauma she did. Carmy is trying to start over and I think as much as he is struggling now and it may get worse before better, I just see too many points of lightness for him to crawl towards/through. And I think this being so inspired by Storer's lived experience, I can't see him wanting it to end in doom and gloom. Chris and Coco are Carmy and Nat to me. They broke the curse. I think because of that he would want the show to reflect that.

Now, what the fuck is wrong with Carmy, in detail. I will start by saying we don't really know a diagnosis. I think common/possibly correct assumptions are a mix of anxiety, depression, and CPTSD. But I've also seen other ideas like maybe he is on the spectrum among other things. I'm not quick to say anything outside of the first three. He could be neurodivergent, but I guess what makes me not want to say that is because when people bring it up there is often this sentiment that it explains everything about him or that is takes precedent over his behavior being a reaction to his trauma. Two things can be true at the same time but I sometimes feel people apply neurodivergence in a way that dismisses how the average person would deal with a series of overlapping traumas.

The same way I see people assign Sydney as being neurodivergent and I'm like, or she could just be dealing with a lot of bullshit and trauma as a black woman? Because shit, I'm similar, does that mean I'm neurodivergent, too? Not to take away anyone who is neurodivergent and they relate to things they see in the characters. I'm just saying be careful to not dismiss common reactions to lived experience as such without more insight. Or sometimes people can be awkward or quirky without it being neurodivergence. Like sometimes it comes across as what we do know the characters have gone through isn't enough to justify what we see.

I will say I could see a case for Carmy having a learning disability. The evidence being his dislike for reading extensively and his very poor math skills. I think it was @eatandsleepwell who pointed out he only likes books with pictures. It's true. Most of his books are image heavy. And a lot of people are bad at math but he can't keep up with basic addition and subtraction (aka dyscalculia). But again, I think we are seeing evidence of this specific condition, not vague symptoms that could occur due to a number of things.

None of this is to say speculation or headcanons are not welcome. But to hard assign diagnosis is another thing.

[byjillianmaria]

As I dive into the umpteenth draft of A Colder Home, I decided to do a meta dump similar to the one I did for Behind You! Very similar, actually... you'll notice that all of the photos are more or less in the same place. And that is because I am lazy. But not too lazy to ramble about inspirations under the cut!

SONGS

Once again, my eight track playlist for this WIP goes extremely hard, and once again, I could easy ramble about all eight of those tracks. I will stick to the three I selected for this graphic.

This Unrest by Siouxsie and the Banshees - In general, I associate this WIP with a lot of post-punk and goth rock, so of course I had to lead with an iconic goth rock band. The lyrics are haunting and capture a feeling of deep unease, which is the sort of feeling that pervades this book. Also, there are a lot of weird vocalizations in this... gasping noises that sound like someone being strangled, along with echoing, ghostly shouts. Both become very relevant.

Blue by The Birthday Massacre - I started associating this song with A Colder Home immediately upon hearing it. It absolutely calls to mind a house haunted by ghosts that are slowly being twisted by their anger the longer they stick around, the singing switching back and forth between calm and violent. The lyrics even reference a car crash! And the notion of "casting shadows in a pale shade of blue" does remind me of limited light making its way through snow-caked windows...

Double Dare by Bauhaus - Okay, I'm going to be real with you. I don't associate the lyrics of this song so much with this WIP. I mean, if you want to stretch it, you can say that Cleo's whole arc deals with her learning to "dare" to hope and to not live her life ruled by fear, but that's about it. What really gets this song for me is the heavy, oppressive instrumental. It absolutely sounds like a house that's weighted down with decades of pain and anger and guilt... a house that is now reflecting those emotions in destructive, violent ways.

BOOKS

Writing that influenced A Colder Home! Like the books I referenced for Behind You, I wouldn't consider these comp titles, just inspirational.

My Heart is a Chainsaw by Stephen Graham Jones - SGJ is such an influential horror writer for me, with The Only Good Indians probably being one of my favorite books of all time, and is also a heavy influence for A Colder Home as far as pacing and tone. I haven't actually finished MHIAC yet — I have to read it slowly, because Jade's specific flavor of paranoia does not play very nicely with mine — but I included it as the reference title here because, like A Colder Home, its main character is a teenaged horror movie nerd.

The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson - I mean, Hill House is THE haunted house novel. Of course I'm going to include it as a reference! The opening paragraphs of this novel are burned into my mind, and its characterization of a haunted house definitely influences how I write the house on Brewer Street. I'd also be pretty remiss not to bring up the Mike Flanagan adaption here... while it's decidedly its own thing separate from the novel, his specific brand of emotionally-fueled horror writing has definitely left its mark on me.

The Shining by Stephen King - I mean. A Colder Home is a book about people trapped by snow in a haunted location. Need I say more? Interestingly, both of these books also deal with themes of alcoholism and addiction, although they come from very different emotional places. Cleo also references the Stanley Kubrick movie at one point, which is, again, very different from the book. But as a film nerd, I think it makes sense that she'd think of that over the book... I do also wonder if the film's less sympathetic portrayal of Jack Torrence might have stuck with her more. She probably wouldn't like me pointing that out, though.

The Fall of the House of Usher by Edgar Allan Poe - Another work that gets directly referenced in the book! It's not a direct comparison or anything, but it gets referenced early, and over time more parallels can be drawn... Overall, thematically, this borrows a lot when it comes to complicated family dynamics, skepticism vs. rationality, and that sort of overall inevitability/hopelessness thing that goes on.

VIDEO GAMES

I'm not much of a gamer myself, but the way that the medium is able to tell horror stories is fascinating! I've enjoyed watching Let's Plays of both of these titles.

P.T. by Kojima Productions - P.T. was a playable teaser for a (tragically) scrapped Silent Hill game, and it remains one of the absolute creepiest things I have ever seen in my life. The sound design haunts me... every time I hear something that sounds like that creaky light, I break out in goosebumps. I cannot replicate the feeling of this thing in ink and paper, but goddamn it if I'm not going to at least try. Also, you can definitely feel Lisa's design in Virginia, one of the main ghosts of A Colder Home, haha.

Devotion by Red Candle Games - I'm really fascinated by the way the story unfolds in this, how the player is given these little vignettes and has to piece the story together from that. I think you can sort of see that in the way I approach some of the ghost scenes in A Colder Home... but, also, I'm very inspired by just how personal this game feels. The little details in the set design just really add to the sense that you know these characters, and makes the scares hit all the harder.

POETRY

Poetry can express in just a few lines the same emotion that it takes me thousands of words to dig into! One is not better than the other, but I'd lie if I said I wasn't inspired by it.

In The Pines by Alice Notley - Technically, I think the version of it in this graphic is from the song #6 by AroarA, but they pulled their lyrics directly from Alice Notley's book of poetry, so I feel like that's where the attribution lies. This poem absolutely gutted me the first time I read it... It makes me think of loving someone who is unwilling or unable to stop their self-destructive tendencies, and how hopeless that can feel. Which is, really, what's at the core of this book.

Selfishness by Margaret E. Bruner - This book deals a lot with complex feelings of grief, and some of the less savory feelings that comes from that. Anger, guilt, blame... these are all really human and understandable reactions to a loss, especially if that loss is sudden. The horror in A Colder Home comes from watching what happens when those emotions are all that's left... I think that poem really captures that energy.

[jessssssssssssssssssica97]

2008

It's nothing revolutionary, but I think when I was a kid I felt a lot more free to explore the things that I was naturally drawn to. But for some reason all throughout my life I always pushed everything off to a time of "later." Like when my favorite bands were playing a show in my town I would forego it thinking they'd come back eventually, I would never dye my hair green because it never made sense to. Now that I'm an adult, a lot of those bands broke up (and we're never getting a Title Fight reunion) and I work in finance so I can't dye my hair green.

This is all just coming to mind because I found the login information to my DeviantArt account from literally 15 years ago, and there is one writing sample on there that was actually pretty poetic and not that bad for a 12-year-old, albeit it completely fantasizing about turning into a vampire. I still have a deep obsession with vampires even though I don't really talk about it. I mean, actually, what is there to talk about. I do deep down wish for every Halloween that I could dress as a vampire. I did one time in college, and I actually have never felt better about myself. Maybe I should research vampires in depth more. Maybe I should write another vampire fanfic.

On that point, this is sort of where I'm coming from with writing this. Since becoming sober (today is day #422), I feel like I'm getting to know myself all over again. Part of the reason why I have to be sober is that I am the type of person who wants to do everything to an extreme, to a fault - if I can't do something the most then there's no point in starting in the first place. With drinking, it was that if I couldn't black out then why would I start drinking in the first place? Alcoholics rise up. Anyway, that characteristic about myself (in AA we call some of these things "character defects" which I find unfair at times) is giving me this attitude about rediscovering my interests that can be entirely unhelpful. I love painting, and I'm decent at it, but if the painting can't be exactly how it is in my brain then I have trouble starting it. I've always wanted to learn how to play guitar and start a band, but if I can't write music that sounds exactly like the music I want to make then why should I take a class? It's very difficult to work around this mindset.

I don't think that I am unique in this, at all. I think that a lot of people have this problem. Artists say things all the time like the best thing you can do is to just get something on a page. That's why challenges like Inktober exist, just to give people prompts to draw more often. I know that you can't ever get better if you never even try. I really don't want to have an existence where I have a laundry list of things I've always wanted to do, but was too afraid to do them. I know 27 is relatively young, but it simultaneously feels too old to start with anything that I want to. I know that that's not true, but that's just how I feel. I feel like I have lived a lot of my life so far fueled by fear - fear of being broke, fear of looking like a lazy addict. Throughout my alcoholism I got a master's degree and got myself a job in investment banking. I think if I truly loved myself I wouldn't have done that.

I still have a lot of fear, but I want to fuel myself from it in a different way. I'm afraid to die without ever having lived in another country. I'm afraid to never have worked through the misogynistic competition trauma that I got from my mother. I'm afraid that I'll never perform on a stage again and feel the warmth of lime light. I'm afraid that I will lose my ability to communicate with people in French, and I'm afraid that my brain will become too weak to improve my Russian. I'm afraid to stand up to my parents and tell them that I have tattoos - they're big tattoos, I can't hide them for much longer. These are all things that are on my "bucket list" that come to mind when people say to "grab life by the balls" or whatever, but every single one of them takes work and that is so scary. My throat has that quivery feeling right now and my eyes are getting wet thinking about my life having to muster up the courage to do all this, but I'm most afraid of never finding the courage. I am a very strong person. Very strong. I can do it.

I remade a Tumblr account to start a blog just so I can write these things out into the ether. I do have a journal, but there is something about writing a blog that brings me a deep comfort. It's because I am a child of the internet. I was raised on Tumblr, I firmly believe that it shaped me into the person I am today. I already mentioned Title Fight, green hair, and vampires, didn't I...?

I also have other things I want to write about, more serious things with a lot more structure. I am thinking of starting a SubStack just to get some of my ideas out there. I saw on Tik Tok the other day that a woman was "launching" a SubStack. That is so serious. Do I have to officially launch a SubStack? Should I draft my essay and have it peer reviewed first?

This is the first of my rambles. I speak like this in person, too. Feels good!

[mayisgoingnuts]

Honestly yeah lmao

And for Angel and Husk—

So I inspired Angel by Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit in this AU—while I had no particular inspiration for Husk besides Eddie Valiant from Who Framed Roger Rabbit and Ray Charles (dude who sang Hit The Road Jack).

Angel in this au is still an inappropriate film star, pole dancer, etc etc—and he still has that sassy charm to him. He mainly acts this way as a front with other people like in the original show, but he can also be REALLYYYY threatening when pissed, and that's usually when his past as a guy from a mob family comes out. He's also more of a shitty person here? Just because he's been in Hell for a long time, so he's bound to lose any sort of kindness he might have had before. He's very rude to Charlie at first and is actually kind of passive aggresive with her sometimes, but grows from this over the show and grows to like her. And when he's not putting on a front, he's very vulnerable and miserable—just to show how much Valentino's treatment of him has effected him. He can also sing pretty well unsurprisingly—and can actually play the saxophone.. for some reason.

Due to his past as a mob family member though, he still has some pretty fucked up tendencies, and due to being sus of Sir Pentious when he first arrives, he basically pulls him to the side and attempts to torture him incase he might have some info (with Vaggie joining him until Charlie puts an end to it). Angel really sees nothing wrong with the way his family taught him during the earlier seasons and always acts like people are over-reacting when they point out this behavior of his. But once again, he slowly learns that it isn't okay over the show, and grows from it.

He's also still an alcoholic and drug addict here, because he wants some feel of escape from all the stuff Valentino makes him do, but he's so convinced that Val loves him due to Valentinos manipulation. And it's even worse because Valentino always acts like nothings wrong whenever other people are around, and even if people knew what he was like, they could basically do nothing about Val due to him being a fuckin Overlord and this being Hell. (Angel's voice is also the same in this rewritten version btw, but with a minor distortion/other voice playing in the back anytime he talks)

As for Husk—he isn't that much different here since I don't see much wrong with him in the show? But he's also very depressed due to losing his position as an Overlord, and holds some slight arrogance due to being once in that position. But he of course grows from this, and realizes maybe all of his confidence was just some stupid front he was putting on for himself so he didn't have to confront his insecurities (which were basically about him dying alone and pathetic in the real world, and he also had a kid in the real world, so he hates himself for leaving her up there). Also he's a little more frightened of Alastor here, and usually just kinda tries his best to shut the fuck up when he's around due to being afraid of what he might do with his soul.

As for Loser Baby in this AU—I think the problem with it was that the poppy beat and light-hearted lyrics made people take it kinda wrong? As an SA victim, I did get the message that it was supposed to be like "Hey, you aren't alone—I'm in the same situation too so don't worry, we're in this together. But I can see how some people would misinterpret it here. So instead of a song number, it's more of an emotional scene where Husk first explains he was an Overlord once, and then tells Angel that he belongs to Alastor now, and tells him that there's really nothing either of them can do about their situations due to their respective tormentors being overlords—but that Angel's pain is valid, and that he's not in this alone. And THEN that's when the sharks come in and the fight scene happens.

Angel's outfit is SO good tho ksjdksjf

But DAMN POOR SIR PENTIOUS D:

[death-breeds-wisdom]

If I ever turn them into stories I think I'm gonna have the centre conflict revolve around lying. They all have done majorly fucked up things in the past that, if come to light, would make them not be able to look eachother in the eyes. So they agree to never speak about who they were/what they did before Belldale.

Izzy has never left belldale and his history is somewhat of an open secret (the abuse, the addictions, the trauma is all worn on his face, sleeve and demeanour), but Jackrabbit made sure no one knew that he was the one that caused the Bela debacle. Not because she cares for Izzy, but because if people target izzy they target her, and she cannot ever appear vulnerable. The canines are only allowed to exist because she seems unshakeable and constant. Immortal. Eventually though, when the govt starts poking the canines and jackrabbit starts unravelling, his crimes will come to light. Or maybe he'll slip up and say something he wasn't supposed to know. Or maybe he'll start getting targeted a suspicious amount. Because after all, how could be an alcoholic kid that important to the national government.

Roz straight up used to work against the canines. The canines are the dominating group in the federation, but the closest rival, the townies, are based in Rovenport where Roz used to live. She started out as a fighter for their boxing clubs but quickly became a body guard. She was originally sent to belldale to sabotage, but the entire operation went tits up and people don't ask too many questions around those parts. The canines sort of have a don't ask don't tell policy. Her doom will most likely be her old colleagues recognising her and wanting revenge for sinking the mission. Or maybe there's been a leak on the townies' side and the names/faces of the high ranking members will reach jackrabbit.

Mika killed his dad. It's actually the crime most forgivable, but only cail knew what he did. Not their mother, not his sister. His secrets are way more acceptable (I avoid using the word moral because on the occasion he has made bombs), but they'd still change your perception of him. I think he'll just non chalantly admit it in the middle of a drinking game. Or maybe... roz will think about making amends with her father only to find out that he's been dead for years. Maybe returning to Rovenport to seek out her father is what gets her caught.

Cail's biggest fuck up is willful ignorance. They were ripped from this reality and shoved into a world with 4 dimensions where they gained sacred knowledge and was tasked with killing a god, but they declined and went home. They practically brought about the end of the world and just sort of ignored that. The 4th dimension held onto them for a while and tried to pull them back, bit Cail severed their connection to that. They could've saved the world but thought "nah fuck that I'd rather go back to bothering Mika." There isn't an answer to the question of how much he'd sacrifice because he couldn't be fucked to care enough. Truly, I have no idea how the others would find out about the existence of the 4th dimension or an impending doom originating from there. For all they know Cail had a psychotic break and carved out their own eye.

Hedry, the ever-loyal and considerate Hedry is the only one who can be blamed for her fate. She and quite a lot of her school friends left Manfort Isle for Ineverue and she is single-handedly responsible for one of their deaths and dissolving the group. She is the one who got them into crime. She is the one who got police sent after them. So she fled to Belldale. She, unlike the rest, talks alot about her time in Ineverue, but she seemingly seems to forget the most painful details. The others don't question why she suddenly left for Belldale but they will once they find the police reports.

Julia... has too many secrets to count. He's a hyperreligious liar who only answers to his god and thus would throw everyone that cares for him under the bus in the name of staying faithful to a canonically uncaring god who will sentence him to hell regardless. He lies for no reason and no remorse. The fact that he's faked his death twice before aren't even the craziest things (Okay yeah and he's also killed innocent people in the name of pettiness). Even I don't know why he fucks people over that much. His real self being revealed is directly linked to Izzy getting suspiciously targeted, because he's the one to rat him out to the government people and after Izzy gets back from his little meeting with the officials, he starts to wonder how they could know. Besides, the only people who know are either dead or Jackrabbit and Julia...

[kaddyssammlung]

Granite – Analysis

“Sulfur on your breath”

Alchemy boy! At least that is how I would connect this.

Taken from Google: Sulfur represents properties such as drynesss, heat and masculinity. In alchemy it could also represent evaporation, expansion and dissolution.

Dissolution makes me think about Aqua Regia.

But also maybe he means rather alcohol on your breath than Sulfur. Just that phrase alcohol on your breath brings back so many bad memories. I don't really feel like diving deeper into this.

And yes drinking is hard to hide.

“Granite in my chest”

I guess that he means that he is angry. When I'm really angry I can feel a heaviness in my chest, also.

“You won't ever have to talk about it You'll never have to talk about it”

I have a feeling I don't even want to know what he means with “it”. The whole vibe so far just feels like he is angry.

“Fury too damn late”

Does he means his fury? As if he can see someone now for what they really are and now he feels like he should have gotten mad at them a lot sooner?

I know that feeling. But also regretting things does not really help.

“Reason dislocates”

The reason as to why it took him so long to realize that he was not being treated well? It dislocates? Like in an accident? A dislocated shoulder? "Remember my cracking bones"?!

“I was more than just somebody in your passenger seat”

Since I went to therapy for quite some time, I'm familiar with that analogy. It was often used by therapists to describe something to me. How you let somebody else take control over you and over your life. You are not in the driver's seat and not the one in control but you are just in the passenger seat and someone is driving for you or has control over you. Or in my case it was something else that had control over me (addiction).

I get that.

Or he means an actual passenger seat.

He mentioned alcohol before and now a passenger seat. That seems like a bad idea.

“and you were more than just somebody I was destined to meet”

I really do feel that you meet someone for a purpose. You can learn something from everything. I say this and mean this but when it comes to stuff like trauma that is being put on children then I have my doubts about certain things...idk...I don't feel like elaborating on this more.

“I see you go half-blind when you're looking at me but I am”

I have this connected with aura seeing. He probably does not mean that but that's just what I have this connected with.

Some humans out there, such as spiritual teachers, I percieve as “bright”. As if there was light coming from them. That's why I have this connected with going half-blind.

He probably means someone who does not want to look at him for some reason? Or maybe he does not feel like he is seen? Or maybe it has something to do with the “sulfur” from the begging?

“Between the second hand smoke and the glass on the street”

More drinking and even some smoking? The greens I guess?! Idk though.

“You gave me nothing whatsoever but a reason to leave”

Then go, Vessel. They seem like they are no good! But that's just me making assumptions.

“You say you want me, but you know I'm not what you need But I am”

"I am" with nothing added is the strongest affirmation we can say btw. Just wanted to add that. I forgotten the explanation for it, though.

It's free from Ego that's for sure.

But also in this case he says that he is not what they need but he still is what they need?! It feels like a contradiction.

“When you sit there acting like you know me acting like you only brought me here to get below me never mind the death threats, parting at the door”

What?! Death threats is the one that always gets to me. Why be with someone who does that to you? And also yes some humans out there just want to sleep with you. That's not a secret. It's not a nice feeling for me when you kind of sense that in someone. As if you were a toy for them. I don't like that.

“We'd rather be six feet under than be lonely”

Burry me to the sound of name.....

Why stay in an abusive relationship? Because the fear of being alone or lonely is bigger then the abuse that you are dealing with. Either that or you don't even recognize the abuse as such.

Or in other words: welcome to my BPD hell. But that's not the case anymore but it was.

Then I ended up totally on my own and alone and it was the best thing ever. But it took me a really long time to see that.

“And if you had a problem, then you should've told me before you started getting all aggressive and controlling”

Someone who is in “survival mode” gets controlling. They don't trust themselves and they also don't trust others.

“You only drink the water when you think it's holy”

??? For some reason this makes me think about alcohol again.

“So keep an eye on the road or we will both be here forever”

You will be there forever because you will die? Drunk driving? I have mentioned my car accidents before. I was rear-ended twice in one year. Accidents like these can be seen as “initiations”. I could write more about that but this a big topic.

[slightlyaboveaverageiq]

A Black Rose Among Sunflowers (part 1)

A/N: Okay so a couple things 1. this story is dark, not dark!Reid but part mentions of CSA, childhood sexual abuse, alcohol addiction, PTSD from the CSA, abusive relationships, and domestic violence. The story while also have allusions to dark smutty books such as Haunting Adeline and other books ive read and those come with their own trigger warning so you may want to look at those before reading this. Also we don't kink shame anyone who likes these things CONSENSUALLY and who are above the age of 18. You do you baby boos, that being said minors DNI.

Word Count 2.2k

I bit my lip and gently pushed my key in the lock, it was late, later than I had originally told Casey i would be but with any luck he would have drank himself into oblivion and I would just be able to sneak in. The lights were all out and I breathed a sigh of relief as I pushed the door shut quietly behind me, freezing as the click of the lock seemed to echo through the apartment. I walked down the hallway and placed my keys on the counter not wanting to take the chance of the sound of metal hitting glass waking Casey up. I walked into the kitchen and rolled my eyes seeing the dirty dishes from what I presumed to be just enough dinner to keep him from throwing up like a sloppy drunk but not enough to take his buzz away. Checking the fridge I confirmed my suspicions that he didn't make enough for two, I would probably get some drunken rambling about “If you just cared about me as much as your slut stories we might have dinner together everyone once in a while.” Well maybe if I wasnt subjected to mediocre sex that lasted all of seven minutes with someone who didn't smell like a damn distillery I might not need to live in the world of make believe smutty daddies. I mean honestly who wants to just have their cervix poked awkwardly while their boyfriend completely misses their clit and then gets mad they didnt get off?

“You’re late Addie.” I stilled at the sound of his voice and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Casey had stayed up waiting for me several times and it always led to a confrontation, usually just ending in words being exchanged, maybe a broken glass or two thrown by either one of us, and a ‘whore’ followed by a ‘fuck you’ and me slamming the door and walking to Gabriella (my sister’s house) to sleep for the night. But this…no the energy was off tonight his voice was condescendly sweet and his hands trailed along the back of my neck but the pressure suggested this wasn’t out of concern. No, he was absolutely livid but yet he was calm as a priest and all of the alarm bells went off in my brain.

“I…I lost track of time. And when i saw how late it was i just thought-”

“Thought i would forget and be asleep? Thought Casey’s probably already passed out cold so i might as well just keep doing whatever the fuck I want? Even though I’m in a goddamn relationship and should be at home?” I shivered and moved to step around him but his hand closed around the back of my scalp tightly, my blue tinted hair being ripped out by the root. A sharp cry left my mouth and I instantly clapped a hand over my mouth but it was already too late. Casey had heard it and that meant so had potentially the neighbors, and Casey sure as hell wasn’t going back to jail. A harsh slap came across my cheek and I fell to the ground. I raised my head to look at him but all I got was a faceful of the bottom of his work boots before a sickening squelsh was heard as it made contact with my eye. I'm actually pretty sure the toe of his boot got stuck in my eye goop for a second. Gross. 

“One of us has to pay the rent, and we know damn well it’s not going to be you.” Why the hell did my adhd and my inability to filter my thoughts have to make its appearance right now? Apparently my brain just doesn't understand the idea of self preservation because instead of making a break for the door in Casey’s moment of stunned silence I just stood there staring him down like I’m 6’2” instead of 5’2”. I always joked with my sister Gabriella that men couldnt hurt me because of our father, that a 6 '1'' 200 something pound man beating the shit out of a 6 year old and me surviving meant i could square up with anyone. Like an older sister would be she was mortified and tried to get me to see reason. Mainly: No Adrienne just because you survived horrific child abuse does NOT mean you should go out seeking conflict with grown men just to prove yourself. Alas, my sister got all of the common sense and I got all of the anger issues which has led to my current predicament.

“The FUCK did you just say to me you stupid bitch?” Come on brain do something don’t just have me stand here like a fucking idiot. Casey reached for me but I dodged out of the way picking up one of the sausage pokers (is that what they're called? Whatever the prong looking kitchen utensil you shove inside meat to flip it over, I'd rather shove it up Casey’s meat though). He paused for a moment before he let out a hearty laugh and to be honest if this were a scene in a movie I would probably be laughing too, like what kind of dumb bitch picks up a sausage poker instead of KNIFE when they're in the middle of a domestic assault in their kitchen? “Come on little love, we both know you're not going to do anything with that. Put it down and be a good girl and suck my cock and I might not leave too many bruises' ' I felt my stomach twist at his words and was instantly thrown back to an eerily similar conversation with my father when I was 9. 9 year old little me who couldnt fight back when he would beat me black and blue with a belt, little 9 year old me that couldnt fight back as he savagely raped me because ‘this is how daddies show their love now be a good little girl and suck my cock’

“Fuck off Casey…just just get out.” He was walking closer to me and my blue eyes widened seeing that 1. His pupils were huge and 2. Casey had an erection. Ew, who the hell gets turned on being threatened to be stabbed is this like the backwards version of Haunting Adeline? Only it's not a gun going up a pussy, it's a sausage poker going..well anywhere i can get him really. He walked closer to me again and I swung the poked at him. “I said get out you cunt” His eyes narrowed and he lunged at me, I closed my eyes and moved the poker forward and twisted when i felt it come in contact with his skin. OH GOD I was twisting around the muscle inside Casey’s leg. I watched him fall to the ground and thankfully I gained a brain cell in the process and practically ripped my door off the hinges fleeing in the process. Not paying attention to where my legs were taking me just wanting to put as much distance between Casey and myself in case he magically became the hulk and ran after me. I sighed when I saw the 24/7 cafe Lilianna’s appear in my vision. I threw the door open and I'm sure I looked a sight because Lilliana dropped the latte she was pouring causing the customer to frown and turn to see what could have caused the beverage to be spilled.

“Adrienne-” I was about to brush her off but the man was already standing and held my chin in his hand forcing my chin up so he could look at my eye, or whatever was left of it and dear sweet jesus I’m pretty sure this man is what inspires the smutty authors because he is both delicious and terrifying. 

“What happened?” His voice was low and gravelly, obviously physically and judging by the cold calculatedness in his eyes probably emotionally exhausted. His hazel eyes stared into mine, at least they looked hazel blood pouring out of your eye really fucks up you vision. Some kind of badge and gun situated on his right hip, ah law enforcement then, no wonder he jumped up so quickly. For a moment I thought about lying but something about his face suggested it would be a bad idea.

“Dr. Reid if I may…Casey Thomas is a nasty piece of work, that's her boyfriend.” Lilliana’s voice was soft but also strangled, poor woman I was going to have to buy multiple coffees for the rest of my life to make up for the trauma I'm sure I just caused her to witness. His eyebrows raised in a silent question and I nodded my head because apparently shock is you know a thing and I’m fairly certain I'm slipping into it now that the adrenaline has worn off. 

“Let’s go.” In hindsight I probably should have fought harder to stay with Lilliana because even though this cop has the credentials of a man he's still..well a man and I'm definitely at a disadvantage with my blooded eye and my now bleeding scalp. Should’ve taken the poker with me, I read somewhere if you take impaled objects out, well damn i probably kept the fucker alive keeping it in there. I couldn't help the chuckle that came out of my mouth and Dr. Reid looked down at me worriedly.

“Don’t worry doc im not delirious from blood loss, I was just thinking about how I kept the sausage poker shoved in Casey’s thigh and so I’m probably the only reason that fucker didnt bleed out.” I really probably should've just kept my mouth shut because I don't know how close to a confession that could be to attempted murder and I just admitted that to a cop. A pretty cop but a cop nonetheless. I gave him directions to my apartment and he walked up the stairs, gun drawn, I'm sure he was prepared for a lethal Casey, and to be honest so was I. I waited in the car for him and 15 minutes later he reappeared talking to someone on the phone.

“I’m with her now Em. I'll let you know when I know more. …Yeah her apartment is like two down from mine so you know the address. …Alright see you soon.” He disconnected the call and a tired sigh came out of his mouth before he ran his hands through his unruly hair. “My name is Spencer Reid, I work for the BAU. That was my boss Emily, they're coming to check out your apartment. Casey wasn't there.” I felt a shiver wrack through my body out of fear or just exhaustion I don't know. “I’ll need to take your statement about what happened tonight, but let’s get you cleaned up first.” I nodded and he opened the car door for me and started leading me up the stairs just as black SUVs with flashing blue and red lights appeared in the parking lot.

“Reid!” We both turned around at the voice and a dark brunette woman in a power suit got out of the driver's side and walked over, her hard expression faltering slightly when she saw my bloodied face but it was quickly replaced by a cold, stoic expression. So this must be Emily, definitely a bombshell powerhouse, good for her, fuck the patriarchy and all that jazz.

“This is Adreinne-”

“I’m Adrienne Wilson, even though I guess I resemble something out of a horror film right now. My uh…my boyfriend was drunk and angry that I got back so late, he was waiting for me and I'm sure his boot is now covered in my eye juice. Should've shoved the poker up his sausage but I really didn't want to see that…oh shit can I go to jail for that?” Emily and Spencer both looked at me with a mixture of concern and amusement in their eyes.

“I didn't hear anything. Spencer said he would look you over while we collect evidence from your apartment. Would you like a female member of our team to go with you?” Yes probably should have been the logical answer but I found myself squeezing his hand tighter and slightly hiding behind his larger frame. Emily looked from me, to Spencer, back to me. “Understandable, Reid, bring her back to the office once you get her cleaned up.” He nodded and with a gentle yet firm hand on my lower back he led me to his apartment. I smiled seeing all the books cluttering the area. He disappeared into the bathroom and reappeared with both a soapy cloth and just a warm wet one. He gently cleaned the blood off my face and frowned when he saw my eye.

“You’ll definitely have a black eye but i don't feel any broken bones, can you see how many fingers i’m holding up?” I nodded and answered “Any cloudiness, black spots, halos, or double vision?” I shook my head no.

“Do you think I could…I could take a shower?” I didn't even recognize my own voice. It sounded so small and scared. 

“Your apartment will be unavailable at least until tomorrow…you could use my shower if you wanted though.” I nodded and followed him down the hallway. He showed me the bathroom and gave me a fluffy towel along with a t- shirt and sweatpants before closing the door quietly leaving me alone with just my thoughts.

[wine4thewin]

I’m sorry this is out of nowhere but do you have indie perfume recs? I’ve been trying to get into that. I want to smell scary. like a hungry siren, or like sickly sweet poison. But also all your faves too please! Thank you so much!

Oh, I love this question! Indie shops are like...my happy place. My addiction, perhaps?

The indie perfume world is wild and deep. I've been in it for a few years, so my taste in perfume has changed, along with the houses I 'vibe' with.

I will start with the 'easiest' for newcomers to get into. When I say 'easy' it is because they break out scent profiles, styles, and also make it easy to sample at a lower cost. The more advanced houses will be expensive, riskier with high reward, and you must know your style deeply before you attempt buying from them...because your wallet will eventually hurt otherwise XD

The breakdown below the cut, because I am long-winded, I am sorry.

Most people start with Alkemia Perfumes. I started here, even though I eventually decided the perfume oil base didn't actually work for me (after I had an absolute blast trying over 20+ samples over a few months. The fun was worth it. Getting scents in the mail is self-care, I tell ya.). You can sample 5 different scents of your choice for $18. The nice thing about this brand is they really break down scent types, which will help you elsewhere. They break it down by 'aquatics, spices, sweets, earthy, incensy, florals, vanillas, etc. in their 'explore our perfumes' section. A lot of people recommend their 'Ghost Fire' from them (I've never tried it). I personally like 'The Honored Ghosts' & 'Misdeeds After Midnight' (but misdeeds was limited collection sadly). Typically, the 'scary' scents will be earthy / incensy / red musk / resinous styled scents.

Andromeda's Curse is another very easy to sample house, but on Etsy. I had fun trying them, but found the longevity to be light on my skin, which annoys me. You will find that indie oils tend to be lighter throw than alcohol fragrances (though can last on your skin for 8+ hours), but some very expensive oils are just as powerful. For $13 you can sample 5 scents here. Try different notes & styles and keep a journal of what worked and what didn't. You will soon find that there is a 'death note' that you NEVER get along with, therefore you must avoid most perfumes with it haha. My death note is typically patchouli and anything overly floral. White Tea is also a note I can't wear, I despise it.

This all being said...where do I actually shop? Nocturne Alchemy. This house is NOT easy to get into and often you need someone to help you understand their catalogue (which I am happy to do). It is pricy and also has a wild amount of Limited Editions (scents that only come back 2 years in a row seasonally and disappear forever...I typically buy these). I vibe with this house. It's my scent style and works on my skin. I love dark vanillas, spices, resinous fruits, and honeyed ambers and this house goes beyond all this and more.

Nocturne Alchemy / NAVA is known for their ambers & resins and I can say I love their Queen Amber, Celestial Amber, Princess Amber, and their Sky Amber. All fabulous, though Queen Amber is considered 'intimidating' due to the heavy mix of thick honey / incense / ambered musk. It's basically aggressive woman walking into a room. My husband likes it on me, so whatevs, I dig it. I'm a honey fan, so I search out honey scents LOL. You may lean towards their Anubis Garden & Desecrated Tomb collections, as they are very dark and powerful...NAVA has a huge collection of various scent profiles, if you have more questions on them, feel free to comment and ask. I've tried...a lot...of their scents...T.T

I will also recommend Arcana Wildcraft & Arcana Craves. They are both owned by the same person, but Wildcraft is a bit more...complex? Eerie? I don't get along with most scents from there, but I do get along with the Craves lineup because I love interesting gourmands. Pumpkins Crave Black Swallowers is basically a drunken goth pumpkin bread, boozed up, smoking a clove cigarette on Halloween outside a goth club in the 90s. Pumpkins Crave Resins is one I also like...fresh pumpkin bread and heavy black amber, but also a bit boozy with something heavy, maybe the labdanum {notes being: Gilded amber, black amber, 10 year old labdanum absolute, black tea, and boozy golden gourd} I've tried a bunch of scents from Craves and most are a lot of fun, but on the gourmand side. I love their Honey & Vanilla catalogues.

You might also want to glance at BPAL, as they have a strong, eerie/unique/goth theme to them. I don't get along with most of their oils, but I do like some of them and they are very popular! Snake Oil {vintage patchouli and dark, rich, aged vanilla absolute. deep, rich, earthy notes swirled with vegetal musks, sugared vanilla bean, and dark spices} has a cult following, people age it for years they love it so much. Personally, I didn't like it, too much dark patchouli for my tastes, but I did like the other version Scream Inside Your Snake Oil because it was the original but mixed with funnel cake...so...vaguely sweeter LOL. I do also like their Bobbing For Snake Oil scent {apples crushed into vintage patchouli, dark, rich, aged vanilla absolute, vegetal musk, and spices}.

Hexennacht is a house that has a very strong catalogue. I've loved so much from it, but eventually couldn't justify buying after personally witnessing the owner out a customer's purchasing history in a facebook group fight T.T That being said, the products are great and they once had a scent called 'Necromancer' that literally smelled like a bad man making bad life choices, but like, with a lot of money involved. 'Hēdonē' is one of the scents I like, I was told I smelled like sexy incense while wearing it. You can sample all scents from this shop (and other shops!) at Ajevie, a decanter who provides samples of multiple houses. They are closed until January 11th at this time, but when they open you will be able to see all the samples they offer. You might be interested in 'Fallen Angel' - rain-soaked granite, mountain air, petrichor, creeping ivy, damp earth. This is atmospheric and smells like being on a mountain in the middle of a rainstorm.

Pulp Fragrance is also closed for break right now, but they have a scent called 'Hallowed Ground' that literally smells like walking in a graveyard and it is terrifying LOL (notes being: Rich soil, damp air, slowly decaying wood, black honey, dark chocolate, soft moss, and a thread of precious resin incense smoke)

There are sooooo many houses I can tell you about, but these are the most popular and reliable ones you will see.

If you have any questions, I'm happy to clarify anything! The Indie world is huge and there is so much to learn, it's a fun journey and I hope you have a blast (though there will definitely be times that you will smell things and go OH NO WTF IS THIS? NAST AF!)

I will also suggest r/indiemakeupandmore on Reddit. I don't know much about 'Reddit life' aside from this sub, because it is full of the greatest people ever who simply want to talk about indie perfume recs, experiences, new shops, indie perfume/makeup/skincare/candles/candy/coffee, etc.

Also. Off topic, but if you are looking for more indie products, I recently discovered Lollies By Leah and I can tell you that I was mindblow by these lollypops. WTF. I don't even really like candy, I was gifted these, but now I'm thinking of buying a subscription box because this month's theme is Fairy Tale lollies and these things are WILD.

I even get into indie soaps and skincare. It's a thing T.T If you get dry hands in winter, Haus of Gloi has spectacular pumpkin butter cream, OMG, my whole family buys it. Literally. My. Whole. Family.

*also, more shops listed in the comments.