#I don't want to flood his tags with this
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This is going to be a long post where I talk about the struggles of the 20s. The stuggle of mental health and pain. This is brought on by recent events that occured and a beloved celebrity.
I'm not going to explicitly tag this for kpop or astro because I don't want to join that flood. I don't want anyone that is struggling to come to tumblr to relax, and be overwhelmed with the reminders of what happened. I fell apart after Jonghyun died. Irregardless of him being a celeb, I remember how it felt.
TW: talk of death , mental health
If you have been scrolling on tumblr or facebook and heard a lot of this. If this is making you feel uncomfortable and pushing you in any way to an unsafe place, please take the time to find a safe person to reach out to. Remember there are crisis hotlines for this as well. The internet will be flooded for awhile, so please take a step back from the internet if you must.
It took me a long time to come to terms with Jonghyun passing, I couldn't listen to SHINee for years without crying. I still can't sometimes. At the time, my friend told me of how there was some "death club" for celebs that passed at ages 25/26. I thought it was the oddest thing to make a club for. She hinted to it having some supernatural connection and I almost believed it.
I was 21 then, and the next year started the hardest 5 years of my life. I went from passing all my college courses to failing 6 in the span of 3 years. I quit my job, got a new one, then went on a mental health break. This led to me getting fired, and going on disability.
Last year I took a psychology course and as I realised I had entered the age of this nysterious "club" I looked back at my life broken hearted. It had been 4 years since Jonghyun passed, I was finally 25. I had been diagnosed with 2 mood disorders, adhd, 2 sleeping disorders, and been told the only cure for my mood disorders is to grow. I was incredulous when my psychologist said that to me. I got angry with him and with all my hopes and dreams crashing around me I could understand why this was such a dangerous age.
It wasn't until my teacher broached brain growth that something clicked. She told us that our brain didn't actually finish growing till around 26. That not only was the 20's the highest risk age for humans, but it was finally when we start being able to conceptualise the future. We could always dream of it before. We could understand the consequences. But we couldn't fully grasp the magnitude of the future.
We live in a society where we are expected to know what we want at 18. How unrealistic, when we only truly understand life at ~26.
The death club isn't supernatural. It's very psychological. I can't imagine the heartbreak these celebrities felt as the future came crashing in on them. That all their mental health struggles and life closed in on them and they wondered "is this it? Forever?" Because suddenly, forever makes more sense. More than it had.
I think we need to do better. Not just as a society, but as friends and family. The 20s are the age where suddenly we're freefalling, and as we plummet, we realise we can see the ground for the first time. We can finally see the end, and what it means. We imagine how it will feel to crash and break apart. All we feel is alone, and terrified, and wondering what it will sound like when we splatter to our end. How horrifying.
It's a good thing at least, that we can live our life as slowly as we like. If we take care of ourselves, we can slow our descent to the end. Outside of unexpected events of course.
I want to say for everyone younger than me, who hasn't hit this stage yet- you must already feel so overwhelmed. That's okay, because you ought to be. You're finding who you are. Take your time, and don't worry about the future. Don't put this pressure on yourself too early. And remember when you do start to see the ground, that it doesn't mean it's the end. It's still so far away. You'll be okay.
For the people in my age range who have seen it. Well, I'm in stage one of this myself. I'm terrified too. But everyday I'm seeing that it's okay. That all the things I scoffed at are true. I hated people saying to just wait it out. I never understood why they said "it's just a phase" (IT ISN'T TYVM) but now I get why they said that. They might not have experienced the pain I have mentally, but they experienced the fear of falling. The terror of seeing the end, and the peace that comes with knowing that they have a long way yet to go.
We have a long way yet to go.
Please remember that you're not alone in this. That you're not just going through a phase, and your struggles matter. The journey of the 20's is hard enough without mental fatigue and illness. But you can make it. Please don't be hard on yourself, and reach out to others. Take your time, because you need it. Because even after all this happens and your brain is done growing, and you're left with all this realisation- you still need to take the time to come to peace with it. If your mind is a pond and your growth is pebbles dropping in... then in this, you still have to wait for those pebbles to stop falling and their ripples to stop before it comes to peace again.
A bad metaphor, but the only one I can think of.
Waiting it out doesn't have to be torture. I think that's why it's so important we hold tight to the joys in our life. Why we have to cling onto what matters, and focus on the good relationships we have. Even if we have to go out of our comfort zone to make them. Because even reaching out for ourselves, we are still grasping onto someone else who needs help. We all need to support each other in this, I believe that completely. We're all lonely and aching. So why can't we find solace in each other?
I don't want to get into everything that happened today. My heart aches, and I'm not ready to confront it. The fear is coming back. I ache so much. Not just for him, his friends, or his family. But for everyone feeling the same. In this world of emotional fatigue, where we are bombarded with empathy so much that we grow numb- things like this can feel like it's really breaking me.
I don't know the people I pass on the street, or the people I reblog from or read the stories of. Yet my heart still feels for all of you. Because I know how I feel, and I know I'm not alone in it.
Growth is cruel, it hurts. It's life chiselling away at us as if we were unfeeling stone. Hacking out our form with furious cracks. But we're flesh and blood. We feel it all. And I truly hate how this pain is deemed as "necessary" it shouldn't have to be.
So please, please. Hold strong. Please hold onto the people around you. Because it will hurt. It will keep hurting. But It's not forever. We're almost done growing. There will be an end to this pain. This isn't forever. You shouldn't be burdened with getting over it. Don't hold yourself to that. Because you'll only get it over it when you find your own peace. That can't be rushed by expectations and guilt.
Sometimes I read stories and see the Romantic Leads interact. I watch in pain as one of them admits that they can't do it any anymore. They can't live their life alone and in pain. Then I watch in jealousy as their partner holds them and tells them they don't have to. They can let go of all their burdens and pains, because their partner is there for them. They will help them carry it all. And isn't that beautiful?
I feel awful guilt sometimes as a Christian. I've heard some awful things from corrupt churches, and I've had friends saying, "God will heal you if you ask". I wonder sometimes if they realise that I hear, "why are you still sick? What are you doing wrong that God isn't healing you? What's wrong with you."
I wish more churches confronted this. More of them said that it's okay to hurt and struggle. It's okay to not be healed. Because sometimes we're going to be sick. Sometimes we're hurt, and sometimes we don't see the real issue. I have repeated this many times in this post, but I want to reiterate it differently. Especially with this in mind.
We need to stop praying for healing, and looking for miracles to get better. We need to stop thinking that normalcy is the focus.
If you pray for anything, pray for peace. Pray for love. Pray for the confidence to seek someone out and ask for help. Pray for someone to hold you, so you can release your burdens. Pray for them to pick those burdens up with you, because you don't have to do it alone.
That's what will bring you true healing. Of this I know, of this I am certain. Because you don't need a romantic partner to find this. Because you don't need healing to achieve this. You really can get this all right now. But it is something that requires you to step out of your comfort zone and ask.
You don't have to ask God. I know a lot of people here have been hurt by religion and churches. This isn't a post to convert people like google docs and push my beliefs.
But you should ask someone.
Because your soul needs release. No matter who you are, and what you're going through, you need moments where you can trust in others to hold you. People can be trusted. I have no doubt you've been hurt in the past, because I have too. It was probably by someone you trusted most. That happened to me too. But that's not everyone.
If you are having a hard time. I ache for you. I understand. I feel the pain too. If you'll allow me, I'll pray for you. I can't handle life stories right now, or discussions. My own health isn't there. But if anyone wants to know that someone is thinking for them, and their health. Shoot me a dm, ask me to add you to my prayer list. I don't need to know why, so don't feel like you have to say anything specific either.
I'll pray for you day in and day out. Even if it's just one person, you can add me to the list of people that care about you. Even if we never talk again, and you don't want to talk again, I'll happily pray for you. Because I ache for you all, I truly do. I feel like I will fall apart when I hear of all the suffering around me. I so selfishly want to fix it all, and I wish I could. I want to be able to hold everyone who is hurting and tell them that I can carry their burdens for them. I just wish I could take all the pain away.
I know I can't. But I want to. So even if it's just the idea of it. I want to hug your hurts away, soothe your pain, and brush your tears away. Even for a moment. This will end. There will be peace.
With that, I want to say that I hope everyone stays strong. This age range is turbulent for a reason. Remember to hold on.
If you are experiencing any thoughts of harm or other extreme ideations, then please call one of the toll free help lines. They're there for a reason. These people are there to help. They're there for anyone to use. They're perfect if you need to talk instantly. I don't know how to write this without a total tonal shift, but it's important to bring this in.
https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp
^
This is a link to an engine to find help lines. Please use it if you are having intense feelings or on the precipace of a breakdown. I can't say where that line is for you, but I pray for you to have the wisdom to know if you should call.
You don't need death to find peace. I promise you of that.
#death#mental health#prayers#prayer lists#rest in peace#I don't want to flood his tags with this#I don't want people to be flooded#tumblr should be a safe place to vent#but also a safe place to retreat#trigger warnings#asking for help#prayer#please be healthy#please be safe#please remember you're loved#you all matter#even if we don't know each other#I know you deserve the world#you deserve all the love in the world#and all the peace
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Every day I get closer to making an unhinged behemoth of a post listing all of the things about Kaeya and his possible connections to mythology & stuff that I notice but NOBODY ELSE SEEMS TO BRING UP IN THEIR THEORIES
(edit: OMG I reached the tag limit I'm so sorry)
#genshin impact#kaeya alberich#kaeya#kaeya theory#genshin impact theory#the unhinged behemoth of a post would also include all the reasons I DON'T think Kaeya is up to anything nefarious#if I see 1 more “kaeya will betray us” or “kaeya is allied with the abyss” theory ISTG I'm gonna break something#also WHY. WHY IS NOBODY AND I MEAN NOBODY MENTIONING THE POSSIBILITY THAT#EVEN IF KAEYA IS WORKING “WITH” THE ABYSS ORDER#IT'S AS A DOUBLE AGENT?!?!!?#LIKE HE'S GETTING INTEL FROM THEM FOR THE PURPOSE OF FEEDING IT TO THE KNIGHTS OR TO DILUC OR SOMETHING#AND HE'S ALSO STABBING THE ABYSS ORDER IN THE BACK#IT'S A SNEAKY TACTIC THAT'S NOT EXACTLY HONOURABLE AND PUTS HIM VERY MUCH IN HARM'S WAY BUT IT'S FOR THE SAKE OF KEEPING PEOPLE SAFE#HOW IS THAT NOT THE MOST KAEYA THING EVER?!?!?#WHY AM I SEEMINGLY THE ONLY ONE THINKING ABOUT THIS?!?!?!#I FEEL LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS#also why is no one bringing up Kaeya's possible connections to king Arthur???#I mean HELLO?! secret possible royal lineage raised as a ward/foster child/adopted child of a noble family alongside an older brother?!!#and why aren't more people talking about Kaeya's connections to Lord Krishna???#again spirited away from his actual family to be raised in another family alongside an older brother figure who has less chill than him???#not to mention peacock feather imagery and being pitted against an evil uncle#if you believe that Clothar is Kaeya's uncle rather than a direct ancestor#there is so much more I could bring up and I'm not even an expert in any of this nor am I the best at research#but I should probably save those for an actual post#plus I don't want to flood these tags more than I have#I have so so so many things to say about Kaeya#he lives in my heart rent free he makes me feel and think so much he is truly the most beloved of all my beloveds#truly the blorbo of all time for me#if even 1 person expresses interest in all my theory-esque thoughts on Kaeya I will have won at life#this is an invitation guys please ask me to talk more about kaeya
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So...here it is. Wrote the first bit, drove across the state, visited some people... DID NOT tell them about what I've written. Bon appetit!
Seriously though. This week: the return of the Flash! He's taking center stage and he'd really rather not. We talk more about the "shape" or rather "sound" of time waves. Tim received some bad news prior to this chapter and is trying really hard not to let that affect his conduct. He's a semi-...well, not professional.
Read or don't. I appreciate you either way!
#batfam#ao3 batfam fanfic#tim drake#batfamily#I'm not tagging wally or flash here since i don't want to make his fans mad when he doesn't show up much in the fic#so just know that he's here and I'm trying to respect the tags and not flood fans of other characters#Outside the batfam and the superfam...well DC doesn't really treat ANY of their characters right sometimes but other fams get a lot less#so...we will not lure them in under false pretenses#i'm tired and also kinda surprised I finished this#i should've gotten more work done on other things today but oh well
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Wait a second.
Dokja's still wearing his new face at the Gourmet Association banquet? Is it permanent?
Oh.
Oh Dokja.
I know the novel (or rather, Dokja) always plays it off as being a bit silly, but man you can see that the constant ugly comments are getting to him.
It was a little uncomfortable when nobody in the Industrial Complex even knew what Joonghyuk looked like and thus wouldn't call him out on "you're not as good looking as Yoo Joonghyuk" (rude) but Dokja still felt the need to change his face because "shouldn't I be handsome to be a revolutionary?" but that could still be played off as a precaution specifically because he's been called out before and also the guy was literally leaking stories so one more added onto him wasn't necessarily a bad thing.
But the fact that he's literally just made it his new face?
Oh Dokja.
I looked in the mirror and smiled with satisfaction. 「 Kim Dokja thought: It isn't better than Yoo Joonghyuk but isn't this decent? 」 Then Aileen finished the procedure and muttered, "It seems a bit better. Well, I don't know. Why is the impression so fuzzy…?" …I guess it was fine. My nose was slightly higher and my cheeks more taut… [Chapter 201]
"Isn't this decent." Was your original face not decent? 😭 And that's not even getting into the fact that he considers himself so ugly that "decent" is enough to satisfy him. 😭
Ugh and he's at least happy about his new looks (even though you don't need them Dokja!) and he's immediately shot down again and his satisfaction morphs to "well I guess it's fine." 😭
People remembered my outfit and cheered. I felt a bit sad that no one realized I had changed my face. [Chapter 201]
He was looking forward to people to finally say something nice about his looks. 😭
Man, we've come such a long way from the guy who read "Yoo Joonghyuk is devastatingly handsome" and thought "well I can probably get away with playing Yoo Joonghyuk."
It has been a cruel, cruel path downward.
I had never been interested in what I looked like since I graduated from high school. Then I thought about the reactions of the prophets when I pretended to be Yoo Joonghyuk and it seemed that I was ugly. I didn't think I was ugly when I took occasional selfies in the bathroom. [Chapter 97]
#I didn't originally comment on any of the casanova story stuff since I was already liveblogging about so many other things#(I don't want to just FLOOD the orv tag)#but ugh I can't not say something about them now that Dokja's still wandering around with that story attached#I think Dokja's self consciousness about his looks is honestly one of the most painful ongoing story points#his looks were one of the few things he WASN'T bothered by back when he was being horribly bullied and having a terrible home and work life#and now he doesn't even have that anymore 😭#orv#orv spoilers#orv liveblog#orv novel chapter 236 (and 201 and 97)#omniscient reader's viewpoint#kdj
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Mannnn, I thought I'd seen all the evil things he'd done, but nope there's always more! Yay!
I hope he Aleister Ckills-himself.
#absolutely despicable man#also ''I'm gonna corn on the fucking kill myself'' has been stuck in my head for ages - what a contagious post - and I like applying it to#everything else possible. anyways. I hope his legacy rots and is all but forgotten#allie c#<- I have retroactively decided to tag all the posts mentioning him because. it's nice to have things categorized#and I don't want to flood the actual tag with things like ''I hope he chokes on his semen cake thingy and dies''
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ah to be young and in love and not possessed by a time demon or mind controlled by the worlds most evil 15 year old
actually very proud of how the boys turned out today, think i finally settled on how i wanna draw gamzee
Pale Gamkar week 2023 - Day 4: Canon Divergence
@pale-gamkar-week
#my stuff#homestuck#pale gamkar week 2023#Gamzee Makara#Karkat Vantas#Gamkar#moirails#i think today i finally managed to draw gamzee's hair as fluffy as i imagine it being#boy has a cloud on his head#also tried to make both of them look softer since they're still only 6 sweeps here#love how you can tell i did NOT give a fuck while drawing vr*ska#not gonna tag her either cause i don't want to flood her tag with hate#i ain't about that stuff#lil cal#Lord English#tagging those guys cause i think it's funny#not pictured> dave throwing a party- *ahem* vigil over trollian to celebrate the lifting of the curse#dave: the evil has been defeated#also i hc that karkat wiggles his ears when he his flustered or happy hence the return of the flappy ears#pale gamkar week
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Leon Stamatis and Louisa Alvarez were so poorly matched as a couple, and I'm not convinced they even would have stayed friends post-break-up if Leon had lived. And yet each of them works so well as a best friend to Michael. The biggest thing that Leon and Louisa had in common was a propensity to love and support Michael Tate, and that didn't even become apparent until after Leon was dead.
#Greater Boston#Greater Boston podcast#Maybe I'm being harsh to Leon and Louisa's compatibility here#but I just can't see them working as a couple#whereas somehow their respective friendships with Michael make total sense#Of course everybody should love Michael Tate#I have so many feelings about the latest mini-episode but I am holding them in cos they are mostly not coherent#and also I don't want to flood the tag with spoilers yet#I don't think this counts as spoilers tho#Also it's so weird that Michael and Louisa didn't meet until after Leon was dead and probably would never have met if he hadn't died#I wonder if Michael ever thought about his friendship with Louisa as yet another thing that Leon had given him posthumously#like the job at Third Sight#leon stamatis#Louisa Alvarez
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my prophecy came true. the [REDACTED BC SPOILERS IYKYK] thing has already slowed down my dash with the sheer volume of people losing their shit in advance. I'm gonna ramble in the tags so be advised: nothing is NAMED but the hints are Quite Obvious
#I swear to God if people use this as an excuse to write MORE misconstrued angst I'm going to go feral#like I want this to be a cool thing but also? the last time this happened for THIRTY SECONDS my dash was completely flooded with thirst art#and links to weirdly toned fics and such#please if you're gonna get funky with it don't get weird and gross!!!!! let's see where this goes first!!!!!#rant over I'm just sick of this and this isn't even BLOCKABLE#nobody tagged it consistently last time!!!!! this is gonna be worse!!!!#don't get me wrong - if this is correct I'm super intrigued#but not like#look the fic I saw with the strangulation tag or w/e was the last fuckin straw okay. you saw the cameo He Would Not Do That he's too busy#on fortnite or whatever he does back there!!!!! he's not choking anyone out on his desk!!!!!#lila speaks#and SCENE.
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Some sketches for my rabbit!Frank and wolf!Anthony fic. I still haven't quite figured out how to draw Anthony but I'm getting closer.
Bonus chibi Frank, who somehow ended up looking like a baby. He might be the cutest thing I've ever drawn.
#franthony#franthony fic#frank iero#idk if I should tag this with Anthony. I don't want his tag to get flooded with Frank.#my art#frank iero fanart#frank iero fanfic
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♪ BROOKLYN BABY. (💌) – previous part
౨ৎ simon 'ghost' riley | reader
synopsis: the 141 believes the scot now.
tags: fluff, romance, soft!simon, you're basically their mom atp lol, bickering, there's a bet between gaz n soap, gaz secretly wants you shh, ooc characters, not proofread, price being the gentleman he is, he's seriously just watching everything unfold
It's not always that Ghost is willing to let the 141 stay at his house for their traditions – which is just drinking beer and watching sports, really. In fact, he's always said something about his place being empty, so they always settled on someone else's. They stop asking after a year, and in turn, he stops having reasons.
It's not until Soap pops the question again when everyone else's houses are unavailable for a variety of reasons, his being that he left his faucet on and now his shitty apartment is flooded. You can only imagine the suspicion and shock when Ghost agrees (or, rather, simply grunts).
The drive is long, nothing short of 5 hours, and Soap spends the better half of it bickering with either Gaz or Ghost. He falls asleep by the next half, and when he awakes, he gawks at the lovely looking house before their car. There's two stories to it, a balcony, a front porch, and there's no doubt that there's a backyard.
Contrary to popular belief, no, it is not all black or plain at all. It's all equally surprising to them. The Brit isn't the type to care about the appearance and state of a house, usually. They do envision him in a mostly empty apartment with only a bed and a bathroom, though.
There's a delicate touch to where a rough man lives; the smell is almost heavenly when they enter the house. It's homely, the scent of newly washed sheets and lingering smell of food; there's a cat perched on the living room table that Ghost scratches the head of lovingly in a way that's so casual and natural. It's like they're at the gates of–
"Simon!" Heaven's bells ring in their ears, luring them into the doorway of the living room, and the sound of feet padding against the cold floor. There comes a soft-looking thing running into Ghost's arms, completely engulfing you.
You only notice the three familiar faces of your boyfriend's team members – though you know he considers them family if anything – when you pull away. An angel clad in only a cami top, shorts, and Simon's hand around your waist, you turn to look at the group with a surprised look on your pretty – Soap thinks that God, you're so pretty – face. "Oh, hi," you smile sweetly, obviously awkward at the silence and the staring.
"It's been a while," Ever the gentleman, the gruff voice is the first to speak up with your name uttered, the only who's actually met you – John Price. Soap is too enamored with the way you hold yourself and the fact that, holy fuck, even your name's pretty. Gaz raises a brow at the captain's greeting.
You smile once more – a genuine one now. "Nice to see you again, John."
"'S rude to stare, Johnny." Simon speaks out, a smirk under the mask. "Please excuse him, miss," Gaz adds, this beautiful man, and offers a charming smile.
"You must be Gaz," you hold your hand out, "it's a pleasure to finally meet you."
"Pleasure's all mine," Kyle forgets that a hand could be this soft and gentle, "and please, call me Kyle." He barely stops himself from turning your hand in his to kiss the back of it like one should to a lady so fair; his lieutenant has good taste in women, he'll give him that. And when you're out of the area, Soap is sure to rub it in Gaz's face. I told ye so! LT wis hidin' somethin' from us. A pretty something, that is. You don't miss the way he slips a twenty-dollar bill into the Scottish man's hand.
"Glad tae meet ye," Soap finally says, winking. "Understand why he wis hidin' a bonnie lass like ye from us." There's a mischievous glint in his eye, almost naturally so.
"A'm hurt, LT, but whit can I do? After all, we're just a couple o' brutes, arenae we?"
Simon watches in amusement, "you'll live." Soap is quick to move to your side as you lead the small group of hulking men through your shared home after that.
Simon is visibly more relaxed with you around. He's comfortable, that much is a given, with the way he's taking up most of the thankfully large couch with his manspreading. So is the 141. They're pampered like spoiled children (or pets, really) through the whole day.
Instead of just beer and faucet water, they're offered a variety of drinks in the kitchen that's enough to be considered a private bar. Instead of an empty belly unhealthily stuffed with beer and a mix of mediocre takeout, they're met with warm homecooked meals. They lose track of time quickly; the night falls by the time they've tired themselves out, and they've had not one, but two meals thanks to you.
(They're sure to commend your cooking skills and think of how lucky this tall brute of a man is blessed with a woman so soft and pliant and wonderful and– while Price is the one to be the most grateful, Soap compliments you the most. "A can practically taste the love." You laugh in turn.)
Gaz is the first to speak after a meal so lovely, they could simply just sleep on the floor comfortably and wake to the same smell of home. "It's a bit late, love, we should probably go."
"Thank you for having us," Price smiles down at you kindly.
"Ye've been lovely, bonnie." He wants to stay some more.
"Wait," you stop them, looking up at Simon for further approval. He's already looking at you with a reassuring brush of his thumb on the side of your hip and a nod. You turn your eyes back at them. "It's already late, you three should stay the night. We have enough room for everyone."
There comes, "we don't wanna intrude," then, "we can take care of ourselves, it's alright."
"Please, I insist." Your smile brightens, "I'll even cook breakfast before you leave."
The mohawk moves with a sigh, "now tha's just no' fair, lass. How are we gonna say no tae that?" You giggle. Only then do they find themselves tucked away in the guest room, and boy, you were right when you said it could fit them all if not more.
On the way to the bathroom in the late hours of the night, Soap catches a glimpse of light through the crack of your bedroom door to see his oh-so strong lieutenant, vulnerable in your arms. There's something natural about the way you cradle the large man and kiss his hair like it's part of your DNA, like you're programmed to do that 'cause Soap thinks you're simply unreal.
He's proud of his lieutenant, this lucky bastard. He turns another blind eye once more, but he's paid in full with another fulfilling meal by the morning.
#౨ৎ simon !#୨୧ audi's works !#finally did this omg#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#ghost x reader#ghost x you#simon ghost riley x you#cod mw#cod mw2#cod mwii#cod#ghost cod#cod x reader#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#cod x you#fluff#cod fluff#romance#ghost#john price#kyle gaz garrick#kyle garrick#gaz cod#gaz garrick
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title: i've changed, won't you see?
pairing: prohero!katsuki x reader
summary: katsuki ruined your life when you were small, giving you a life altering injury, though getting nothing more than a pat on the back. throughout his successes he can't get you out of his mind, so he sets out to make amends with you.
tags: silent voice inspired!! childhood bully katsuki :(, disabled reader, mentions of violence, angst to fluff, su1cide attempt, comfort, implied nsfw, no proofread
(a/n: i wanted to give my hand at really long works while doing drabbles in between but i have so many drafts now jajsjsj)
wc: ~4k
your eyes were always blurry around him it seemed. your hands shaking as your voice cracked, just begging him. "please leave me alone!" with all the might a five year old could muster.
they scoffed at you, they always did. "crybaby. blame your parents for not giving you a quirk. you should've moved when i told you to anyways, it's my park dont you know?" katsuki mocked, moving closer to you, noticing the card behind your back.
"stop being so mean! quirkless people don't do anything wrong!"
"quirkless don't do anything."
your chest was heaving with pain, your little heart couldn't take it. "you-- you'll never be a hero, you're too mean!"
in an act of rage, he set off an explosion. it was only meant to intimidate you but..
once the smoke settled your screams of terror filled the playground.
blood dripped on the floor, pooling in your hand as your grasped your ear. a ringing was all you could hear, it was driving you crazy.
were you crying? you couldn't tell, you couldn't hear. your eyes were shut as you were filled with panic, the smell of iron flooding your senses.
but katsuki remembered so much more.
the smell of the burned cartilage of your ear, the sight of it, or rather the lack of. the blood that wouldn't stop coming, why wasn't it stopping?
his group that usually rallied behind him was now gone, leaving him and a wailing you alone. he tried to talk to you, but you weren't responding.
he grew the courage to touch you, tapping on your shoulder slowly, but that didn't comfort you. in fact he thought it made it worse, making you bow your head in a defensive position.
he stared at you, unable to move, he was supposed to be a hero like allmight, were you right?
finally, a teacher came running to get you, an ambulance already on the way. they didn't look at katsuki, only at the pitiful state you were in.
you didn't respond to them either.
katsuki felt sick as he stood where you and the teacher had left them. he felt sick as he looked down to the remains of what he'd done to you.
he couldn't process it yet, but he felt a sickening despair and guilt be placed upon his shoulders.
one that wouldn't disappear.
he wasn't blamed for anything, only getting a quirk consolation. they thought he lost control? his parents eyed him as he tried to explain what had truely happened, he didn't know why he was trying, did he want to get punished?
but even after, nothing was done. with a lecture and a couple promises he was sent back to class with nothing done to him.
your life was changed forever though, it was apparent in the way that you seemed even more quiet and closed off. you sat in the back, never spoke to anyone, and got teary eyed when he even stood close to you.
your hair covered your ears constantly, a hearing aid peeking through the strands occasionally. the teacher never forced you to participate, none of them ever made an effort.
the teacher had explained to the class how you were completely deaf in one ear, and extremely hard of hearing in the other. how you'd use sign language from now on, and that the class would learn some in support. they never did though, the conversation going ignored as soon as it was uttered.
you were pulled out of class often, the teacher having to tap you on the shoulder to get your attention. your eyes dejected and your presence small as the person who came to get you made gestures with their hands to you.
you'd been cruelly placed in matching classes 'til your last years of junior high. you'd stayed the same way for forever, it was like a weight placed over his chest.
yet he felt he deserved it. he knew he was messed up. he watched you, a lot. he saw you in the back corners, usually forgotten and ignored. when you were acknowledged you were mocked, people making random hand signs to make fun of the way he forced you to communicate, mocking your unconfident speech right after.
he saw the way you sunk into yourself afterwards, making his heart hurt as you grew impossibly smaller. your hands held your own as you prayed for it to be over.
everytime you'd catch him in the halls, you'd still freeze up. your breath shaky as you bowed and left quickly, making his friends laugh but make him queasy.
that interaction was witnessed by your teacher who, after a day of you not showing up, assigned him to give you your work for the day.
with sweaty palms and a racing heart, he dropped by your house. he knew where it was, of course he did, your mom and his were close industry friends even after the incident.
because you'd never told anyone about what he'd do to you.
he knocked on the door, attempting to seem nonchalant. when you answered though, he felt his heart lurch in his chest.
"[name], uh-- this is your work."
you didn't respond, you looked almost nauseous at the sight of him, it was deserved though.
he placed your work on the floor and walked off, that was the only time he'd spoken to you since the incident,
and he couldn't even apologize.
- - -
U-A wouldn't only be a dream for him, but a release for you both. was it selfish to want to run away from his problems? sure, but it'd help you too.
as everyone in the class exclaimed the names of the schools they picked, unsurprised at katsuki's choice, he pondered on where you'd go.
nobody asked you, so you didn't speak. staying quiet as you looked out the window.
katsuki got accepted into U-A easily, but he couldn't help but feel he lacked the main criteria. he'd hurt people poorly, and couldn't apologize because of his ego.
he felt sick to accept these accomplishments of his, knowing it'd be built up on the foundation of hurting you.
but he did anyway, selfishly. he kept up his harsh demeanor in U-A anyways, working hard and scoring high. he graduated top of his class, job offers to agencies left and right.
he accepted one, working for his old internship officially now. he climbed the ranks quickly, saving lives and catching the attention of the media.
a couple years later, he was a steady number five hero when he took a patrol route over for deku. as he strolled through the city, stores littering the buildings, he saw someone he never thought he'd see again.
you, only now working for your mothers seamstress company. you were embroidering something on the station, hands precise and focused, not noticing him.
he had to keep moving, but.. he made a mental note to come back later.
he finished his patrol anxious, he went to sleep thinking of what he'd even say to you. 'hey sorry for ruining your life, can you forgive me?' he slapped his forehead in frustration.
he searched up basic sign language for beginners, learning a bit. he laughed at the stupid thoughts of your forgiveness that he dreamt of.
"as if i deserve it." he muttered, looking deeply at the ceiling of his room before falling asleep.
as soon as he awoke, he got dressed and prepared. he tried to look causal, as if he wasn't planning this.
he walked in, immediately greeted by your mother who congratulated him on his heroics. "well isn't that dynamite? saving the world i see."
he laughed politely. "i'll be number one soon enough."
"of course! well, what're you looking for? i'll give you a family discount, you grew up so close to [name] didn't you?"
his heart jumped into his throat.
"uh.. we did."
"you two were so adorable! she was so nervous around you, she must've had a crush on you or something!"
"i definitely don't think so."
"oh, you're just being modest." she said, hitting his arm lightly. "there she is now, go and speak to her."
"uh-- i--"
"go!" she shoved him in your direction, making you look up to see him. your lips parted in an unrecognizable expression as you saw him, the line you were working on now crooked as you were left alone together.
it's been about ten years hadn't it? ten years since he last saw you, but a lifetime he needed to apologize for.
he'd learned so much in U-A, outwardly changing his demeanor to what he always aspired to be. but all that meant nothing to you, who only experienced him at his worst.
he awkwardly raised his hand up to you, he did his best to sign while speaking, his hands shaky and unconfident. "hi [name], i'm really sorry about what happened back then."
your eyes followed the movements, your hands absentmindedly wrapping around yourself loosely, defensively.
"i know this is a lot but,
can we be friends?"
he waited anxiously for you to answer, you looking as if you were processing it.
in a grown up, yet timid voice, one that he hadn't heard since you were young, you almost whispered, signing as you did so out of reflex. "thank you, bakugo." your eyes grew watery. great, he just couldn't seem to stop making you cry.
he sat near you after getting wordless permission to, hanging onto every word you spoke, and being mindful to speak in a calm tone himself.
"i.. i'd like a friend, honestly. a new one anyways."
he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when you said that, but still, it wasn't enough.
he wanted to, no needed to make you happy. the years of torment he subjected you to couldn't be made up by anything less than years of happiness.
after a bit of small talk, him asking you questions about what you'd been up to, how your life was treating you. he zoned out a couple times, thinking of how beautiful you've become.
"what would make you happy, [name]?" he finally said, his head supported on his hand as he gazed at you, making sure to enunciate his words so you could read his lips.
"what makes you ask?"
"i-- i want to make you happy. no matter the cost, it's what you deserve."
she laughed softly at that, her eyes flickering with an indistinguishable expression. "...i always wanted to travel. around the world, to see mountains and landscapes."
"then i'll take you."
"you don't have t--"
"i do. and ill do more [name], what i did to you was-- is horrible. you know that."
"i..
okay, okay bakugo."
"katsuki."
you smiled, "katsuki."
going from having very limited contact with your only friend from high school, to having a prohero come to your shop everyday was jarring. but not unwelcomed.
he brought gifts with him everytime, learning what you'd like and not. it ranged from food to stuffed animals, flowers to accessories, all of which you really appreciated.
you grew closer, eventually starting to meet outside of your mother's shop. at the park or walking around the mall, he'd take you anywhere you wanted to go. he'd pay for everything too, despite your reluctance.
he kept his word to you, and at the end of the month he asked you to come up to his apartment.
a penthouse.
as you walked in, greeted by the shimmering atmosphere of the expensive furniture and decor all around, abstract paintings and trophies littering shelves on the walls.
you stood by the front entrance, taking off your shoes as you walked in. "katsuki?" you asked, looking around.
he came out, a tiny smile on his face. "ya made it." he had something behind his back, "come in [name]."
the apartment was huge to say the least, it becoming even bigger than it looked from the entrance. he guided you to his plush couch, sitting next to you.
"so, i know you said you dreamt of traveling, right?"
at your nod, he pulled out the tickets from behind his back. "i.. got this tickets for you. i didn't want to push it in case you didn't want me to go with you but--"
you cut him off with a hug, tackling him into the couch.
"of course i want you to come,
katsuki."
you signed his name differently than other times,
you'd finally made a name for him.
he hugged back mindfully, so excited to finally have a huge first step in the right direction.
but he still needed to make you happy. "we'll leave in two days if that's okay, i just wanted to give you time to pack."
"okay, that's good."
"do you.. want to stay?" he asked nervously, the thought had popped into his mind and out his mouth in a millisecond.
you blinked, sitting up on his legs, pondering it over.
"sure, okay."
he put on some movies for the two of you, his heart was racing at the proximity of your body to his.
the night ended with you laid on top of him, fast asleep as he was comforted by the beating of your heart against his. your chest against his, his hand in your hair as your head laid in his neck.
he woke up first, to the sight of the gold light making you look heavenly, your hair messy from how he was playing with it throughout the night. your face was almost against his, he could kiss you right now.
but he shouldn't. he would move but he didn't want to couldn't, so he looked you over. you woke up to the feeling of his fingers caressing your face, your eyes half lidded from sleep.
"'suki. g'morning."
his heart was getting used to irregularly pounding around you at this point. "[name], uh-- hi."
after a couple moments, you got off of him, much to his discontent. his hands sliding down your legs as you got up.
"i'll be going now, i gotta pack and stuff." you said, looking in one of the many mirrors scattered around as you fixed your appearance as much as you could.
he nodded. "let me walk you home at least."
and he did walk you home, hand in hand.
those two nights he spent pondering over you. he didn't know why, but hero work felt much lighter after talking it out with you. becoming your friend was one of the best things he'd achieved in years, and that was including his recent rankings.
he thought back to how he treated you as a kid, had he really just been searching for your validation all along?
is that why it hurt when you told him he'd never amount to his dreams, because he only valued your opinion?
he let himself sleep, he'd see you tomorrow. and he'd make it all right.
he woke up and picked you up at your place, his expensive sports car standing out against the comfort of the neighborhood. you walked out, dressed simply but cute, a bag of your own in hand.
he grabbed it from you and placed it in the back, opening the passenger door for you as he drove to the airport. his hand on your thigh as he did so, letting you play the music you'd like with loud bass.
it was a half hour ride in comfortable silence, he gazed at you occasionally, a thoughtful expression on your face.
on the plane, you sat by the window. it was first class so you'd get to sleep in a physical bed, in a closed room. you were treated to whatever food and drinks you wanted, hugging katsuki when you found out you where you were heading.
the flight was a long eighteen hours, but it was spent hanging out with katsuki. on his lap asking him questions about the shows you two had watched, power scaling arguments about past heroes, fights he'd recently been in.
also what you two planned to do as you were there, you wanted to go to the beaches and mountains, he just wanted to follow you.
you fell asleep together again, your face laid directly in his chest as he held you.
you woke up to katsuki tapping you on the shoulder. as you raised the volume on your aids, you heard the beeping on the intercoms that meant you'd have to go back to your seats for the landing, groggily being helped up by katsuki as he moved you to to your seats.
you sat by the windows, looking at the tropical region as you two landed, your hand still in his. the moments after we're a blur, before you knew it you were in a car being buckled up by katsuki as you were being driven to your hotel.
what you didn't know was that it was a villa, built on top of the waters of the ocean, your very own private beach right outside your doors with the mountains you'd dreamt of treking right behind you.
you'd never been so happy.
the days you'd spent started and ended all the same, you waking up and going to sleep in katsuki's arms. pretending like you didn't notice how your bed hair got worsened after he played with it all night.
the first days you'd spent at the beach, attempting and failing at surfing. your jet lag was killed off by your utter excitement.
you being thankful your aids were water resistant because of how much you loved the waters of the river and the seas.
you'd had a sandcastle competition, sunbathed, and soaked off in the hot tub of your villa together.
the trek's were fun too, katsuki was annoyingly good at everything so you'd have to fight to keep up.
your polaroid in hand as you snapped candid shots of him, turning it to yourself as you got a selfie of you two with the gorgeous rivers as background.
you jumped into those too, making katsuki freak out as you dived in to the deep waters.
you even got to the top one day, jokingly saying that you should've brought a flag to the top to celebrate. the golden hours of the sunset making you glimmer.
a moment of silence passed over you as he slowly approached you, wordlessly asking for permission as you once again put your hands in his.
you leaned in first, kissing him with the sun as witness.
"i really like you [name]." he sighed and spoke after you pulled away.
"i like you too." you replied, hugging him tightly.
the rest of your trip was filled with your firsts with katsuki.
your first official date was in the burrows of the forest, a picnic where you two painted portraits of eachother. albeit, unique portraits... but painting nonetheless.
your first moment truly loving someone, the feeling you recognized as you laid him in your lap for the first time.
your first talk about what happened all those years ago. a deep one.
"[name], before we become something um.. official. we need to talk about how i hurt you." katsuki said one day, laying faced to you but taking your hands into his.
"kats--"
"let me speak. please." after you nodded, he took a breath and began.
"i was egotistical and really insecure all those years. you were the only one who really read me, that's why i think i got so upset.
i didn't mean to hurt you, i never wanted to hurt anyone i swear-- i just hated that you were right.
that weighed over me all these years, the fact that my hero work meant nothing if i was doing it while acting so.. unheroic.
i never fully felt like a hero, not until i met you again.
not until you graced me with your friendship, your undeserved affection towards me. i just-- i really care about you. and im really sorry, ill spend the rest of my life apologizing to you, and you don't have to accept it because i don't deserve it.
i guess what i'm trying to say is..
sorry, and.. i love you [name].
you don't have to--"
he was cut off by a kiss on his lips.
it felt different somehow, he couldn't place it. almost sad in a way as you pulled back.
"i don't think you were trying to hurt me. but, you did.
and you're working to change it, i appreciate that.
i really care for you too katsuki."
the rest of your trip was comfortingly domestic, learning things about each other you'd never know.
your last week was bittersweet, having to leave your jointed paradise was a reality that saddened the both of you. but your dream was fulfilled, and so was his.
seeing that he was the cause of your smiles and not your horror, making you happy was the light of his day. no, his life.
he thinks he was born to make you happy.
the flight back was a blur, you spent it clinging to him. you started to gift him your own things over the hours, a scrunchie of yours, a bracelet for him to keep.
a locket with a photo of you two, and the polaroid you'd taken on the mountains.
"why are you giving this all to me? not that i'm complaining."
"well, you'll get more use out of it. that's all."
he scrunched his face up in confusion, but with a smile you waved off his concerns.
he wished he pushed you more.
he wished that you'd forgive him for failing you once again, as he fought to take the razor blade out of your grip, slicing your hand in the process.
you were in your bathtub, surrounded by water yet fully clothed, tears and wails wracking your body as you just wanted it to be over.
you finally relented, your blood staining his clothes and the water as he picked you up. you couldn't hear him, you'd taken out your aid.
but you could feel his sobs, his tears hitting you as you shut your eyes, embarrassed of what you'd just done.
you were rushed to the hospital and given stitches, you were to be closely watched from your mom now on, you were told by an interpreter.
katsuki's eyes were red, matching his pupils as he looked at you.
he was frustrated, you could see it in the trembling of his fists and the scowl in his mouth. if he hadn't been there.. you would be dead.
why, he asked you. and to be honest, you really couldn't explain it yourself.
when you got home to your apartment, empty and reminding of your reality away from katsuki, you just felt so..
scared. what would happen when he finally got the validation he needed and left you? your whole life was quiet and tranquil, you'd gotten used to it. but he flipped it upside down again, showed you what your life really could be.
it was too much for you. you had to escape, so after sitting on it, tapping your leg anxiously as you pondered your decision, you went on your phone.
you went online and saw his life outside of you, how he had everything going for him yet what did you really have? a mom and a job at her company?
you grew impulsive, grabbing it absentmindedly and filling up the tub with the water you grown to love over the past month.
after you started bleeding, you panicked. what had you just done? but it was too late..
until he saved you from yourself.
you were zoning out. when you didn't answer him, he repeated himself, grabbing the interpreter so you could sign.
but still you said nothing, except a small sorry.
he left afterwards, leaving you alone in the bed to think.
you were back in your childhood room now, your mom having sobbed as she looked over your hands, as she asked you, "what the hell were you thinking?"
you looked at those glow in the dark stars and tried to find an answer, but there was none.
you held yourself to sleep for the first time in months, already missing him deeply.
little did you know, he was thinking about you too.
the next morning you awoke to a knock on your bedroom door. assuming it was your mom, you got up and opened it.
it was katsuki instead, holding a bouquet of flowers and the locket you'd given him.
"can i come in?"
you opened the door wider, leading him to sit on your bed.
"katsuki i--"
"[name]. i don't know why you did what you did.. but i know it probably has something to do with me. so what did i do wrong?" he looked defeated, as if he thought it was his fault you tried to end your life.
"no! no that wasn't it at all. well, it was about you but not like that.
it's just.. i've been alone. for so long? having you around felt.. too good to be true. i didn't want to go back to how i was before. in a way, you were too good for me."
"you're.. an idiot. but i guess i understand."
"i just.. i really love how you treat me. i didn't want it to go away."
a moment of silence passes, a small anxious laugh leaving katsuki's lips.
"fuck, i thought you hated me. could barely sleep without you."
he pulled you into him, staring deeply into your eyes as he pulled you impossibly closer. he kissed you deeply. his worries, passions, and frustrations all poured out into it.
he pulled away, eyes half lidded as he asked gruffly.
"wanna take this back to my place?"
he took your last first away, gentle and loving as he guided you through it. reassuring you that he'd never leave you.
you moved in with him soon after, finding it hard to sleep without eachother, no matter how late he got back to your shared home.
he'd be welcomed back by the sight of you, who always tried and failed to stay up waiting for him. he'd pick you up, like always, and hug you to sleep.
he'd know he woke you up by the feeling of your smile in his chest, the way you tightened you arms around him.
he loved spending every waking moment he could with you. you were right though, he did break up with you after he got your validation.
...
but that's just an odd way to say he proposed to you, vowing to spend the rest of his life making you happy and fufiling your wishes one by one.
he changed not only himself, but the way you see yourself. he changed your relationships with yourselves and eachother for the better,
and as you walked down the aisle, your wedding planned by your two designer parents, being lavish and gorgeous. the silk on the floor being runway to your expensive shoes specially designed for you, the guests in awe of how gorgeous you are.
you both knew, you'd better eachother for better or for worse, for as long as you'd be together.
he signed 'i do', sealing the rest of your lives together,
with a kiss.
#watched this the other day and cried again#lilac speaks꧂#bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugo#bakugo x y/n#bakugo katuski#bakugo x you#bakugo fluff#katsuki x you#bakugo drabble#mha x you#bakugo oneshot#katsuki x y/n#katsuki x reader#bnha bakugo katsuki
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Light On - single mom/neighbor fic Warnings-tags: 18+ MDNI, soft smut, praise kink, size kink, breeding kink, daddy kink Simon Riley/female reader
If he could choose a way to die, this would be it.
He would choose to die right in this moment, where you're laying on your back in front of him, legs spread wide, chest heaving with the exertion of your second orgasm, limp and pliable, sweet as sugar. He'd choose to die in this room, with your name on his lips, the feeling of your body against his, your muscles seizing and hips jolting under his touch, the smell of your cunt in his nose, taste of your arousal on his tongue. He'd choose to die from happiness, elation, euphoria, the feelings so strong they feel like they might burst free from his veins and flood this room, spill from his heart like it's exploded.
He's mad for it. Mad for you. Allowed his madness to guide him, take over, control his vocal chords, his limbs. He's like a marionette, strings being plucked by none other but yourself, though you're none the wiser.
"Simon?" You whisper, very quiet, careful. You're nervous, he can tell. You've been nervous since he got you home and sent Johnny on his way, nervous ever since he laid you on your back and stripped you bare, ran his lips over every inch of skin possible, every pretty little lightning bolt, every single part you tried to hide.
"I'm here." He answers, taking your wandering hand with his own, squeezing it for good measure. You're floundering, wondering, eyes wide and a little lost, anxious at the lapse. "Just lookin' at you." He says, fingers stroking across your belly, following them with his mouth. "Don't think I've ever seen something so beautiful." You giggle, and it's soft, like the chiming of bells, the kind of music that angels would make, he thinks.
"Should I-" you turn to roll, like you're going to go facedown, or maybe up onto your hands and knees, and he stills you, forearms coming up to frame your face, thumb stroking along your furrowed brow line.
"No." He shifts your hip, settling you into a better position, and then strokes his cock, nudging it against your entrance. "I want to see your face." He wants to see your face, your eyes, your mouth, more than anything else in this world. Wants to see it everyday, wants to see it crying with bliss when he makes you come around him, wants to see it when he goes to bed and when he wakes in the morning. He wants to see it on a little paper picture, tucked up into his tac vest when he's away, wants to see smiling, giggling, content... happy. Safe. There will be plenty of time for the other stuff, for when he bends you over the couch, bends you over his knee, fucks you in the kitchen, in the shower, on the table. He hovers for a moment, soaking you in, blood thundering in his veins, through his ears, throbbing into his cock, and he's so hard it nearly hurts, but he can't rush this. He has to get it right.
"Simon." You whine, hips flexing, thrusting up so he feels the heat of your body, the wet heaven of your cunt. He grits his teeth.
"Fuck, sweetheart." He grunts, and then pushes, your eyes going wide, matching the round o of your mouth, fingernails tightening into his back, fluttering pussy trying to accommodate the stretch. He's big, bigger than you in many ways, he knows, and when your back arches, legs involuntarily folding, knees lifting, he traps you there, holding them steady so he can look down and watch the way he sinks into your body, cock disappearing inch by inch.
"Ohmygod ohmy- it's too- you're-" you gasp, and he leans down, slicking his tongue against yours, stealing your whimpers and moans, greedily drinking them up.
"I know, I've got you." He thrusts a little deeper, getting closer and closer to his hips being flush with yours. "You can take it." He goes slow, working you open, getting you used to him for as long as he can stand it, watching every little expression that falls across your face, every moment of bliss. "Is that good, sweetheart?" He noses at you, and you nod with a gulp, still holding onto him, arms trembling.
"Y-yeah. So good, so so good." You babble, nearly incoherent, cock drunk, and it feeds the reckless, hungry drive inside of him, encoraging him on, faster, until he's fucking into you with enough power that you're starting to inch up the bed moaning out nonsense vowels.
He gets lost, for a second, thinking about if you didn't have an IUD. Thinking about what it would be like, if he was breeding you, filling you with his come every night until it took, until you were growing his baby, round belly underneath a sweater, cradled in his arms in bed, giving Emmaline a sibling, making you a mama again, with him, for him. It shatters across his brain like the ricochet from a gun shot, white hot light searing inside his eyes, nearly making him come inside you right there until he pulls out with a deep breath, letting the head of his cock rest just inside your body as he collects himself, and then thrusts back in.
"Fuck!" You gasp, a little too loud, and you wince, eyes shocked. He puts his hand over your mouth, kissing your nose between where it pokes out between his thumb and forefinger.
"My good girl." He thrusts, and you moan, licking the salt of his palm. "My good," He's so deep, can feel where you end, where he's pressed against your cervix, and your eyebrows crinkle, tears gathering on your waterline. "sweet, mama. Doin' so good, taking this cock." Your eyes roll, and he drags himself along the silky heat of your walls, before plunging back in. "Is this what you wanted, sweetheart? This what you needed?" The word daddy almost slips, almost falls out like- 'is this what you wanted, for daddy to take care of you? Is this what you needed, for daddy to take you home and take care of this pussy- but he holds it in, reels in back just in time for you to nod as answer to his voiced question, and he pulls his hand away, rubbing his thumb against your bottom lip. "Tell me."
"Yeah, oh- Simon, yes-" you pant, a little squeaky, tear rolling down your cheek. You saying his name like this, with him so full inside you, fills him with fire, roaring heat racing through his muscles, and he grinds his hips against yours, making you groan, bucking against him when he finds your clit and glides his thumb across it, over and over.
"Do you wan' be my good girl?" He asks, pumping harder, pushing you the limit, and you cry out against his hand, nodding frantically, which he rewards with a smile, and another swipe across your clit. "Come for me. Let go sweetheart, I'm right here." He coos, still swirling your swollen bud in a circle, your legs practically steel around him, eyes brimming with tears. He'll take care of you. He'll give you everything. He'll never let you go, he swears, he swears, he swears... he doesn't stop, just keeps going relentlessly, fucking you as deep as he can as you come around his cock, exploding like a bomb, silently screaming into his palm. He's following you over the cliff of your orgasm a second later, nose pressed to your cheek, whispering insanity into your skin, half praying you won't be able to make sense of it. Whispers and vows of love, and protection, of care, promises and secrets, until the two of you are limp against one another, basking in the glow and heat of your bodies.
He closes his eyes for a moment. Just for a second, just to take a deep breath, preparing to pull out, to move on to what's next, cleaning you up, getting you in a bath or a shower, making sure you're comfortable, you're cared for, you're cherished as you ought to be. He closes his eyes, and it's just long enough for him to feel the shaking of your chest under his. Just long enough to hear the sniffle, the hiccup, his eyes opening in confusion, concern, cradling your face between his palms. "Sweetheart? What's wrong, what is it?" Panic stirs in his gut, and when you don't answer, his mouth goes dry, fear dousing him in a cold sweat. "Did I... did I hurt you?" When the only answer is the sound of your sobs, fat tears that stream down your cheeks, his heart cracks wide open in his chest.
Maybe he could very well die in this moment. But not from happiness. From agony.
#lmao#peaches writes#light on#simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader
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so, i see all these aus where danny gets help from the justice league for the anti ecto acts, and they're great. but hear me out. ghost king danny. classic setup, acts need to be repealed or war.
so danny goes to the league, of course.
the league of assassins.
Ra's is already familiar with death, and ghosts, and the realms. ya man's had the lazarus pits for centuries, he knows a little bit of what's what. maybe there's already some trade relations going on. more importantly, he has a massive group of hyper competent people who can pull strings in the government very stealthily, and have no outside affiliation or loyalty to that government.
but why not the JL? most of them are based in the USA. they work with the government (danny assumes). surely they are aware of the Acts. surely they would conform to them, enforce them.
so ghost king danny meets with ra's, who gives rancid vibes, but is able to, and wants to, do a smear campaign against the JL. against the USA. to gain favor with the guy who is the king of his most sacred resource, and knowledge about how to use the Pits to gain some basic liminal powers.
danny doesn't like the solution, exactly. but he's king. and this is what will protect his people. this is what will get expedient results. this is what his advisors who will still permit peace will allow.
so danny takes the deal with Ra's.
the initial outrage begins online, perhaps through MikMok. a mega famous influencer is cosplaying as superman, doing a twerking sort of dance to the most current haha funni meme song. the text overlay reads: when the superheroes condone genocide because they aren't human, ANTI-ECTO ACTS (whatever law/section code they were passed in).
it goes viral. and then someone finds the Acts (prodded along by the League) and it goes from a hit sensation online to every. single. news outlet flooding with information (puppeted by the League).
is this real? the Acts are real. but why? if these people(?) don't exist, why the Acts? the outrage. the mass confusion. the conspiracies. the new subgeddits and trending xitter tags. 4kun greentext be me: a ghost, becomes the new thing.
at this point, the GIW are scrambling to keep their involvment on the downlow. there are acts, sure, but they're not enforced :DDDD
vlad is in a similar situation. he cloned a guy. he def experimented on other ghosts to get to that level of knowledge. naturally, this is about when lex luthor gets involved. because, wouldn't you know it, but project CADMUS? yeah. that was a collab with DalvCo. they both wanted non-human clones from green stuff. they got it, and now luthor's sitting on some unpretty information.
he promptly shoves vlad under the bus, which is rapidly becoming less of a bus and more a trainwreck.
the league is surprised this happened, but goes with it.
the US governemnt is still trying to deny, deny, deny.
it's at this point that the JL gets themselves together. they don't know if the papers by Drs fenton are biased, or if ecto entities really are mindless creatures bent on destruction.
constantine says they're biased. green lantern concurs.
they decide to summon an ecto entity and find out what is going on.
danny is pretty stressed. it's a stressful situation. he's on break for the first time since they got a solution to this problem. he's not gonna answer a summoning. he has people to do that for him.
so they don't get the ghost king.
but they do get-
dani. and jazz. at the same time.
maximum possible psychic damage.
in the room at the watchtower is the big 3, green lantern, martian manhunter, flash, constantine, zatanna, raven, and black canary (legends of tomorrow experience? cool headed? there for arrow who is busy?).
dani doesn't like superman. he treats clones badly. jazz doesn't like batman, see Arkham.
dani doesn't know who c, z, raven, or bc are. jazz kinda knows of them, but not well.
so the actual negotiations go down with WW and MM.
they have a lot of questions. dani (abomination form) introduces jazz (basic looking human) as a princess of the realms. jazz says that the Acts are real, the realms want war, go suck a creamsickle (that was dani), they want restitution for the lives lost from the GIW.
then they leave the JL wondering who the GIW are.
someone (LoA) manages to hack the watchtower and post the meeting online as soon as it happens. or maybe they livestreamed it on Switch.
my spamblr, the result of my space buying tumblr in 1999, gains its first sexy women (jazz). jazz/WW fiction springs up on AOL3 overnight.
the GIW goes public. they try to push the envelop of ghosts being non-sentient. they try to use jazz being ambassador for that meeting to help their case. the JL is fighting accuations, but they are being pidgeon holed into siding with the GIW by the media.
it's at this point that things go from trainwreck to airplane runway crash.
dalvco and luthor are in a lawsuit. the usgov is under pressure from everyone. people are calling for impeachment of the president. the GIW is getting raided and having their evil posted online. the drs fentons are absent (in the ghost zone, either being evil or having mimosas with pandora). ra's is trying to use new knowledge of the Pits to reanimate tim's spleen. the JL is under constant fire. everyone who has ever had a malicious opinion about super or meta control is getting new platforms. danny can't use his intimate knowledge of what's going on to write his essays for school.
the world is galvanized. there are calls to action. liminals of Amity Prak come forward. you could be liminal too! the Acts get repealed. the GIW gets cleaned out, all prisoners rescued. the realms get restituition. the meta protection acts get expanded.
people will learn about phantom, the superhero. the dead boy who saved them all when the JL didn't answer amity's calls. the JL comes under more fire. they lose funding, defund the police style. for maximum chaos, this can be when the miraculous ladybug crossover starts.
phantom gets a bajillion features on true crime podcasts. tucker keeps sending links to the episodes to them. sam will never admit it, but she listens to them.
but things will never, ever be the same. arguably it's a bad end. but...
black canary restructures arkham from what jazz said to batman in that meeting. many of the rogues get actual help. the joker is transfered to a supermax. he never escapes again. nightwing takes the discowing costume back up in celebration.
vlad loses the lawsuit, and uses his powers to get one over on luthor, who has a mind control suggestion implanted to (amongst other things) never be able to work on these projects again.
there is greater transparancy in superhero work. this makes some people start social programs for villians who have a point. it works for a few of them. the JL is cleared up to handle more extraterrestriel threats, not leaving the burden on one person alone in the cities. the child sidekicks have less work.
amanda waller is fired. ironically, she had nothing to do with any of this, but people assume that she did. either way, everyone agrees it's deserved.
the league of assassins makes a lot of money. they get hired a lot in turbulent times.
disney, which is utterly unchanged in this dimension, makes a documentary about everything. they get dani in for an interview. it's in very bad taste. there is at least one death pun and CGI'd animal.
danny graduates.
clockwork smiles.
#dcxdp#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc prompt#writing#my idea#dc#batman#league of assassins au#my writing
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we don’t play about halloween | max verstappen social media au
pairing: max verstappen x fem reader
max doesn’t play about three things: formula one, his cats and his girlfriend’s love for halloween
MASTERLIST | TIPS
yourusername
liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 607,344 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: yes we dress up to carve pumpkins, it’s rude if you don’t.
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user1: gosh they are so cute
user2: did max just dress as himself whenever he’s within 5ft of y/n?
maxverstappen1: i get why the americans don’t play about the statue of liberty
yourusername: i think they should build one of you in zandvoort
maxverstappen1: and they still wouldn’t worship it as much as i worship you
yourusername: i literally light candles in your name and pray for you with you mum, i think i worship you more sorry
maxverstappen1: the ONLY loss i’ll take
user3: i feel lonely year round because of them but it’s SO much worse during halloween
user4: they are the definition of the couple costume they invented it and they PERFECTED it
landonorris: i thought your apartment was a safe space, why did i get harassed over my costume?
yourusername: it was more of the lack of costume? “streamer” does not count
landonorris: who actually dresses up to carve pumpkins?
maxverstappen1: COOL PEOPLE
yourusername: imagine not dressing up and having an awful pumpkin … could never be me
landonorris: STOP BULLYING ME
maxverstappen1: do better then.
user5: obsessed with how peace and love y/n is for the whole year but as soon as someone doesn’t care about halloween it’s fight time
charles_leclerc: remind me to never accept an invite to a halloween event at the verstappen-l/n household - far TOO much stress
yourusername: but you’re like the only one who deserves an invite to next year because the air max costume slayed
maxverstappen1: i might even let you back on it
charles_leclerc: might???
maxverstappen1: follow me on instagram
yourusername: 2019 was so long ago we really need to move on
danielricciardo: you seriously underestimate just how petty these men are
maxverstappen1
liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 894,560 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: halloween is a full family affair
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user8: JIMMY AND SASSY I CAN'T
user9: yall looking at the croissant and the lobster i'm focusing on AMY AND NICK?
user10: has max even seen this film?
maxverstappen1: nope i just like doing the costumes y/n wants to do
user11: i wish i had enough friends to have like ten billion halloween parties
oscarpiastri: i didn't know what to expect but i did not think i was going to see alex trying to drown george at the apple bobbing station
yourusername: i let them work out their own mess as long as they don't accidentally flood our living room again
oscarpiastri: AGAIN?
maxverstappen1: f1 drivers are just competitive about apple bobbing as they are about driving
alexalbon: in my defence there is a sick trophy for the champ i simply cannot let anyone else win it
user12: they got a trophy made? and girlies are serious about this?
yourusername: custom trophies for apple bobbing, pumpkin carving and best costume
alexalbon: three time apple bobbing champ right here
charles_leclerc: i'm coming for best costume this year
danielricciardo: pumpkin carving was an easy dub last year
maxverstappen1: but no one has out done us for costumes thus far
yourusername: and that's not bias, there is a democratic voting process x
user13: i need to be in this friendship group right now
yourusername
liked by georgerussell63, maxverstappen1 and 723,409 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: it's the most wonderful time of the year ! thanks to everyone who came out and making the spooky season special. p.s. shout out to max who found this wig while going through our costume box and insisted on not taking it off the whole set up.
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user16: NOOOOO WHY IS HALLOWEEN OVER ALREADY
user17: rip to all of us who were hoping for a sexy y/n x max costume
user18: they heard we wanted sexy and gave us ratatouille i hate their asses
oscarpiastri: okay so lando wasn't lying when he said you guys go insane for halloween
yourusername: i fear not. i hope you enjoyed your dip in the pool, we found you in a guest room in my bath robe at 3am
oscarpiastri: oops.
maxverstappen1: you fared better than others on their rookie halloween appearance, just ask lando and charles
landonorris: you told me there was no alcohol in the jelly so it's not my fault i ate the whole bowl and threw up in your shower
yourusername: wow way to blame the victims there lando, you literally blocked the drain
landonorris: MAX SAID THERE WAS NO ALCOHOL
yourusername: it was labelled with the ingredients. you just can't read
landonorris: no comment
yourusername: and charles got so drunk that he decided he would sleep on the couch but got 'lonely' and insisted on cuddling with us
charles_leclerc: Y/N!!!! YOU SAID YOU'D KEEP THAT A SECRET
maxverstappen1: don't worry we thought it was cute
carlossainz55: wait is that why you came as a "cuddle bug" this year?
charles_leclerc: NO
alexalbon: and that must be why he got best costume RIGGORY
yourusername: no riggory here, you and lily as mavis and jonathon were a close second
user19: i won't rest until i have an invite next year.
maxverstappen1
liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 821,309 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: sorting the recycling with your head barely attached is always the worst part of halloween
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user20: drunk max looks like so much fun
yourusername: i think i might drink my weight in coffee today but i need to see the kitchen floor soon before i lose my mind
user21: ma'am i know you're clinging to life rn but can we know who won what?
alexalbon: ALEX ALBON APPLE BOBBING CHAMP FOUR YEARS IN A ROW
charles_leclerc: i won best costume and it's purely because i'm cute cause NO one there knew about my cuddling escapades last year
landonorris: ugh pretty privilege back at it again
charles_leclerc: jealousy is a disease get well soon
oscarpiastri: my pumpkin ended up winning !! turns out people love a kangaroo in the ghostface mask
maxverstappen1: first rookie to win that title (i am so impressed by the kangaroo)
yourusername: you were actually so good you have to help me with all the decorative ones next year
oscarpiastri: i'm in
user21: but who won the real award - most embarrassing moment?
maxverstappen1: daniel got stuck in the door in his inflatable horse/cowboy costume
danielricciardo: NO esteban dressing as the cheese string man was worse
estebanocon: that's real creativity at least i didn't fall asleep in the bath like carlos
yourusername: not to gang up on carlos but the blanket you took in their is damaged beyond repair and i request a replacement
carlossainz55: fair, but it was me, lando and george in the tub
georgerussell63: fake news @carmenmundt
carmenmundt: i was also at the party babe, it was impressive how you all fit in there
user22: the fact they do all of this and race like two weeks later and the teams just deal with it
maxverstappen1: we've done much worse on race weekends
yourusername: someone didn't have to try and get home after abu dhabi 2021, halloween is nothing compared to that
note: a lil halloween one for you all. i also DO NOT PLAY ABOUT HALLOWEEN. and am currently planning my costume lol. just wanted to get a small one out before all my work comes in tomorrow, much love xx
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1#f1 x you#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen x you#max verstappen instagram au#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen
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promiscuous | l.jn
“i’m all yours, what you waiting for?”
💿now playing: promiscuous by nelly furtado, timbaland
❯ summary: Jeno’s more turned on than angry he thinks - it’s not everyday he finds out his girlfriend used to be a stripper and now all he wants from you is a lap dance. Right now. In his car.
❯ pairings: jeno x fem!reader
❯ genre: established relationship, smut
❯ words: 3.7k
❯ tags: 18+ minors dni!, mentions of drinking, lap dancing, stripping, car sex, unprotected sex (don't do this!), dirty talk, thigh riding, semi-public sex, hair pulling, mentions of groping and shitty men, karina is reader's bsf, reader uses she/her pronouns, just jeno being smitten and in awe over his stripper gf.
“Did you see the look on his face when you said you had a boyfriend?” Karina chuckles from the backseat of Jeno’s car.
The joke isn't particularly funny, but it's the combination of alcohol buzzing through her system and the late hour that has her snickering and laughing as if she's a comedian. Jeno can’t help but crack a smile either, not because he finds her humorous; but because his heart swells with pride knowing you turned down another guy because you’re his girlfriend.
He doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of saying that.
“I know, he looked like he was about to piss his pants when he started apologising,” you add with your own cackle of laughter. “Priceless really, like a little dear in the headlights.”
Karina grins, leaning back into the middle seat. "I almost wanna feel bad for him, but then I remember he wouldn't take no for an answer until you mentioned Jeno."
You roll your eyes with a shake of your head, “That’s men for you.”
“Ugh! Tell me about it,” she rolls her eyes, “Men are so gross.”
Jeno looks through the rearview mirror and sees her scrunch her nose as a shiver runs through her body. “Hey now, I’m not gross.”
“Oh I know, Y/N tells us all about how cute the two of you are,” she sighs, “She’s managed to find one of the good ones, lucky bitch.”
You look over at Jeno when she says it, a smile on your face because she’s right. Lee Jeno’s the best boyfriend you’ve ever had. Just the right balance of sweet and smitten and passionate and protective. Even now, with one hand on the steering wheel and the other gently resting on your exposed thigh beneath your short dress, he had insisted on picking you up from the club even if it meant waiting up into the early hours of the morning. He just didn’t like the idea of you and your friend getting in a cab alone, drunk. Granted, you’re not that drunk, but Karina is.
He is one of the good ones.
“You’ll find a good one too, Rina. You deserve it,” you assure her looking back to see her sitting with her arms folded across her chest.
“Well wherever he is he needs to hurry up, honestly, I don’t know how much more I can take of shitty men chatting me up at the bar and trying to grope me. It’s nauseating.”
“They do that to you?” Jeno asks. You pull up to a red light and his eyes meet hers in the mirror.
“Sometimes,” she shrugs, “Honestly Y/N, I don’t know how you used to put up with it when you used to strip…”
Karina's words trail off as she realises her mistake, her eyes widening in alarm. You go stiff in the passenger seat because you haven’t told Jeno about that.
The jovial atmosphere in the car suddenly shifts, the air growing thick with tension as Karina's slip of the tongue hangs in the air like a heavy cloud. Jeno's grip tightens on the steering wheel, knuckles turning white. His eyes flicker to the rearview mirror, catching Karina's wide-eyed expression, and there’s a silent plea for forgiveness in her gaze.
Your heart pounds in your chest, and a rush of panic floods through you. For a moment, the only sound in the car is the dull hum of the engine and the distant echo of traffic outside. Jeno's jaw clenches, but it’s not out of anger, you’ve seen him angry and this isn’t it. If anything you haven’t ever seen him like this, expression unreadable, and you don’t know whether that’s worse.
"You... used to strip?" His voice finally cuts through the heavy silence.
Your breath catches in your throat, as you struggle to find the right words to explain yourself. You open your mouth to speak, but no sound comes out. There’s a weight of guilt and fear pressing down on you like a suffocating blanket.
Karina shifts uncomfortably in her seat, her earlier confidence replaced by a palpable sense of regret. She opens her mouth to speak, but no words come out for her either. Her gaze darts between Jeno and you with a mixture of guilt and apprehension.
The remainder of the car ride was suffocatingly silent until the car pulls up in front of Karina's building, the engine cutting off with a final sputter. She hesitates for a moment, her hand lingering on the door handle as she glances between you and Jeno, unsure of what to say.
Eventually, she opens the door and lets herself out, but not before standing at the passenger window to mouth a small and apologetic. "I’m sorry.”
You manage a weak smile and shake your head, mouthing back a simple, “It’s okay.”
She nods, and she stumbles her way up to her apartment. Jeno waits until she’s safe inside and the door closes behind her before he starts driving off again. You can’t help but shift uncomfortably in your seat, stealing glances at him out of the corner of your eye.
You can’t shake the feeling that he’s angry, furious even, at the revelation of your past. Guilt gnaws at your insides, twisting and turning as the car is quiet and his gaze stays fixed on the road ahead.
You can’t bear the silence any longer, the weight of it pressing down on you. "Jeno, are you... mad?" you tread lightly, voice barely above a whisper.
Jeno's head snaps to the side until his eyes meet yours. They’re dark and intense but filled with more surprise than anger. And you’re caught off guard; because you could have sworn from the way he’s gripping the steering wheel, hard enough to cause a fire, he would have been at least a little annoyed.
A slow smirk starts to spread across his lips, gaze now burning and it sends shivers down your spine. "Mad?" he echoes, "No, Y/N... not mad."
A wave of confusion washes over you, your mind reeling at the unexpected response. But before you can process his words, he’s pulling over at some random side of the road to lean in close to your ear. His breath is hot, and he whispers, "Actually, I'm pretty turned on."
You move away from him, back hitting the car door, “Really? You’re not upset…?”
“Well…” he shrugs, “I’m upset that you didn’t tell me—”
“I didn’t want you to look down on me, or be embarrassed of me,” you cut him off, the urge to guard yourself getting the best of you.
Jeno sighs, and he notices the way your voice shakes as you defend yourself. He doesn’t understand why you’re even doing that – you don’t have to prove anything about yourself to him – he loves you as you are, past and future included.
“You didn’t let me finish,” his fingertips grip your chin, “I’m upset I made you feel like you couldn’t trust me to tell me that.”
“I just didn’t want you to judge me is all,” you look down, voice going quiet.
“That what you think I’d do?” He asks, planting a kiss on your cheek, and to his pleasure, it snaps your eyes up to him. “I’d never fucking judge you, baby, I already think you’re perfect… and I suppose knowing you used to strip is kind of a bonus.”
You laugh, shaking his hand from your chin, “Shut up.”
“I’m serious, do you know how hot it is knowing my girlfriend used to be a stripper?”
His tone is too calm for your liking. You had often imagined how Jeno might react about learning of your past as a stripper, and you don’t know why, but you had always prepared for him to be angry. You weren’t expecting this, him being so touchy and needy and – well – horny.
“I’m serious, Y/N.” He scrapes his teeth across his bottom lip as he flicks a glance up to the roof of his car. When his eyes fall down to yours, they’re dangerous. “I’m getting hard just thinking about it.”
You push at his chest playfully, “Stop it Jeno.”
“Were you any good at it?” he asks tensely.
“We’re not doing this,” you laugh, shaking your head.
He groans - it’s more of a whine. “Come on humour me, please baby.”
You jut your jaw and roll your eyes. “Fine, I suppose I was pretty good.”
He lets out a dark huff of breath. Leaning back in his seat, he strokes his chin and runs a slow, all-seeing eye up your thigh and then over your chest. By the time it rests on your face, all of your nerve endings are on fire, lungs unable to keep up with your tense breaths.
“Show me.”
Your eyes widen, “What?”
“Show. Me.” He repeats, expressionless.
There’s a chill that drifts through you. His face is completely void of humour, but there’s no way he can be serious…right?
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you straighten your spine, mustering your best look of indifference as you fix him with a piercing stare. “We’re in public.”
“We’re in my car, and it’s dark.”
You swallow, “You want me to strip here?”
He nods.
“There’s no room.”
He reaches down beside his seat, and with a soft touch, it reclines, creating a large space between his knees and the steering wheel. He always has an answer to everything. You let out a ragged breath, butterflies erupting in your stomach.
"Jeno, I can't just strip for you—" you begin, your voice trailing off as he interrupts you.
"Oh, so you'll strip for random men, but when I ask, it's a problem?"
You bite the inside of your cheek, meeting his intense gaze. "You're serious?"
"Deadly.”
"Fine."
The click of your seatbelt echoes in the quiet car as you rise, sliding into the gap in front of him, facing the windshield. He lets out a low groan, his hand finding purchase on your waist, sending a jolt of electricity coursing through your veins.
As you slowly lower your body, the denim of his jeans rustles against the backs of your thighs. You shift your ass forward to his knees and arch your back. Your hands tremble, partially because you haven’t done this for years but also from the heat of his impatient gaze on your skin as you tease the straps of your dress down your shoulders.
With deliberate movements, you shift your hips, slowly, sensually. Your body sways in time to an invisible rhythm and you feel your lust and adrenaline rise.
His fingers glide along the contours of your back, and suddenly, an irresistible urge seizes you – to see the expression etched onto his face. It's a novel sensation, one that contrasts sharply with your previous experiences. In the past, when you danced, you avoided eye contact with patrons, but this is different; this is Jeno, your Jeno.
You decide to peer over your shoulder, and when you do you don't break eye contact with him. Taking a deep breath you slide the dress over your body, his gaze follows your every movement. From your ankles to the strip of your black underwear, his eyes trace your curves with a hunger that has your core setting a light. There is not a single trace of sweet Jeno left in his irises - the man looking back at you is hungry, needy.
Letting the fabric fall to the pedals, you lower yourself back onto his lap. The warmth of his thighs against your bare skin sends a delicious shiver down your spine, and you can't help but arch your back as you roll your hips, feeling the heat building between you. Soft fabric brushes over your clothed cunt and it makes your mouth water.
Holding onto the steering wheel, you arch your back and roll your ass into the direction of his groin. The guttural sound of his grunt is so animalistic it sends a shock of pleasure straight to your clit. You push further, sliding back until the tip of his swollen cock brushes against your ass. The realization of just how hard he is through his jeans sends a thrill coursing through your veins that triggers a wet heat to pool in your panties.
Your heart pounds in your chest as you move, each roll of your hips driving you closer to the edge from the brush of his growing erection. His ragged breathing fills the car, and when his rough fingers slide beneath your panties, the snap of elastic meeting skin elicits a moan from your lips.
"Can't believe you'd wear panties like this, in that dress, when I wasn't there," he grunts, his voice thick with desire.
Gasping for air, you tilt your head back, your breaths coming in short gasps. "Shut up," you manage, but your voice still trembles with need.
He laughs, before returning his hands to your waist. "Turn around for me, baby. I want to see your face."
Too breathless to refuse, you rise on shaky legs and turn to face him. And when you meet his gaze, you're unprepared for the intensity you find there. It's a stare so intense it's almost violent, burning as it trails over your body over your thighs and stomach. You’ve had plenty of sex with Jeno and the way he studies your body so carefully will never not leave you feeling exposed and vulnerable.
“Prettiest fucking girl in the world,” he mutters the words more to himself than to you, but still, you shudder beneath the weight of them.
You grip the back of his headrest and slowly lower yourself onto his lap. Jeno leans forward to meet you. His hands, hot and greedy, slide behind your back to steady you. A smile tugs on your lips as you roll your hips against his throbbing cock just enough to wake up your clit — not that you needed to. Then, his fingers slide underneath the band of your bra and he looks up at you through his thick lashes.
The snap as he drags his thumb out from underneath the band sends a jolt of pleasure straight to your pussy, and you can't help but arch your back in response. His eyes roam over your body, tracing the line of your throat before settling on your lips.
"I want to take this off," he murmurs, his voice low and teasing.
"That's not how lap dances work, silly," you giggle, a smile playing on your lips.
Another animalistic groan comes from him forcing your pussy to clench around nothing. Your fingers dig into his headrest, and his raspy breaths tickle the dip of your chest. You rake your teeth over your bottom lip as his fingers find the base of your hair to yank your head back.
"You take it off then," he growls, his voice thick with desire. "I just want it gone. Now."
With a mischievous grin, you slide your bra off, tossing it in his direction. As it lands on his face, you see a slow breath escape his parted lips, tension tightening the line of his shoulders as his hungry eyes take in the sight of your bare breasts. His eyes trail over your curves, the hunger in his gaze almost palpable as he flexes his biceps, adjusting his hands behind his head.
"Don’t let me stop you," he murmurs cockily.
Your pussy throbs with anticipation as you lean back, gripping his knees as you rock your hips forward once more. One particularly hard roll of your hips elicits a moan from deep within you, the friction building with every movement.
"You're so wet, baby. I can see you soaking through your panties," he whispers
Flustered, you whimper in response, his gaze sliding down to where your panties meet his jeans.
"Can I pull them to the side?"
You're too lost in the moment to argue, too caught up in the pleasure and the heat between your thighs. So you nod, permitting him to slide your panties to the side as you grind hopelessly against his leg. Your body is flush and sweaty yearning for him, craving more pressure every time your clit brushes against his bulge.
“Fuck,” he whispers close to your ear.
Your hands slide between his bent elbows and your fingers lock behind his headrest; allowing you to have a better position to grind down on his body with even more fervour.
“You’re gonna cum on my thigh aren’t you?”
You're consumed by heat and desire, completely hot and desperate, and the windshield is now fully fogged up as a result. Lost in the throes of pleasure, you're unable to respond to him, but words are unnecessary. He can see the way your eyes clench shut with each roll of your hips, an expression of pure ecstasy. It's all the encouragement he needs to take action, flexing his thigh beneath you.
The sensation overwhelms you, causing you to buckle under the pressure against your clit. Unable to contain yourself, you sink your teeth into Jeno's bicep and he hisses. But you can't help it because waves of pleasure wash over you as you ride out the orgasm that courses through your body.
After what feels like an eternity of bliss, your high begins to ebb, and you find yourself melting into his chest, spent and content.
It's only when the intensity of your climax subsides that you snap back to reality. Neither one of you has moved – you’re just attached to eachother, panting heavily that you might as well share the same breath. The sensation of Jeno’s cock poking your ass is still tangible, and even though you are practically exhausted from the intensity of the orgasm he just gave you, you figure it’s only fair to return the favour.
Your gaze remains fixed on his as you reach down to fumble with the buckle of his jeans. He offers no assistance, his eyes entirely focused on you. After all, this is your show, and you get to call the shots.
You free his cock from his boxers, skipping the rest of his clothes in your eagerness to please him. His hands find your waist as yours find his shoulders, and you revel in the satisfaction of his eyes fluttering shut as you sink down onto the entirety of his length.
He hisses in pleasure, unable to resist a teasing remark. "You know, for someone who was so hesitant to strip in public, you sure don't mind taking my cock in public."
"It's dark, and we're in your car," you retort, satisfied with your quick comeback.
But before you can say more, he thrusts his hips, driving his cock deep inside you, where he belongs.
You feel every edge of him as he pounds into you, knotting your stomach and causing you to tighten your grip on his shoulder. The force of his thrusts threatens to push you back against the steering wheel, but you manage to hold on, whining in pleasure as he mutters curses under his breath.
"You always feel so good for me, baby," he coaxes, his hand tangling in your hair and pulling it back to expose your neck.
You hum in agreement, shamelessly lost in pleasure as he peppers your skin with wet, open-mouthed kisses. You pant like there is no oxygen left in the car as his thrusts become sharper and more reckless.
“Fuck Jeno.”
You gasp, feeling his grip on your waist tighten in sync with the coil of pleasure in your stomach. He pushes you down to nuzzle into his neck, eliciting a cry from you at the angle. He takes your hands from his shoulders and locks them behind your back, giving him full control to drive every inch of him deep inside your pussy.
“Shit..” you whimper into his neck. You can feel his lips against your jaw, nicking it with his teeth.
“Take it, baby.”
The restriction of your hands paired with his powerful thrusts have you completely submissive to him - which is funny considering you were supposed to be putting on a show for him. He uses his hold on your arms to pull you back and forces you to look at him.
“Wanna see your face when you cum pretty girl.”
He knows your body so well because you’re at the beginning of your second round of bliss. His forehead falls lazily to your collarbone as he kisses the skin, sending trembles down your body and causing your mouth to fall open as you meet the edge.
And your whimpers only spur Jeno on, as he rocks you through your orgasm, his own release not far behind. He shakily moans out your name with heavy breaths, his pace staggering as you both climax together. Both your stomachs jitter from the stimulation and your chests huff until your bodies shake with the intensity of the pleasure.
As you come down from your high, you feel Jeno's final thrusts, his eyes squeezed shut and sweat glistening on his brow. The collar of his shirt is damp with exertion, and his tongue pokes out at the side of his mouth as he catches his breath.
You’re like a limp puddle too, but Jeno stays clung to you, your sweaty bodies tangled in one other. Then, you slip off of him and drop into the passenger seat, tugging on your bra and dress that were previously disregarded on the car’s floor.
Jeno fixes his jeans as you dress. Then he starts toying with the car’s keys and revs the engine. As the car comes to life, the headlights glow yellow and the radio picks up. His warm, firm hand finds your thigh as you fasten your seat belt and glance up at him.
"From now on, every time we have sex, you owe me a lap dance."
"Shut up," you say with a scoff of laughter.
“I'm serious," he insists, " We gotta make up for lost time since you kept the fact you're a sexy ass stripper hidden from me."
#nct smut#nct dream smut#jeno smut#nct x reader#nct dream x reader#jeno x reader#nct hard hours#kpop smut
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Chapter One: News Crashing
Poly!TaskForce 141 x Omega!Reader
The Omega Pack Plan Masterlist
Summary: A change in procedure around base causes you to spiral as your world comes crashing down. There's only one way out of this and it starts with telling the truth.
Words: 4.4k
Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anxiety, Existentialism, Misogyny, Dismissive Attitudes, Angst, Rage
Mentions of: Medication,
A/N: Honestly, I'd been inspired by a few series (Standard Emergency Protocol and Pantry Solutions) I've read those and it caused me to want to write my own ABO COD AU, so I started this as a sort of funny fic awhile ago. I'm haven't entirely plotted out the whole story, but I have some ideas for the first few chapters. I was finally inspired to finish and post it because @cringeycookies liked the snippet I posted in a wip tag game. So thanks to everyone who inspired me, and a special thank you to @penelopepine for helping me with the dialogue and Price's reaction as I try to begin writing for them.
"I'm sorry, Ma'am," the nurse responds, "we're no longer authorized to refill suppressants of any kinds for any purpose." With a push of the empty orange pill bottle back across the counter in your direction, she offers you an ugly forced smile.
"Is there really nothing we can do?!" You complain incredulously, "Nothing at all? What am I supposed to do with this?!" Taking the emptied bottle into your hands, you stare at the nurse with widened eyes and a wild look.
"There is no 'we'..." she rolls her eyes in response, focus returning to the papers before her. "But if you insist, you can always bring it up with your CO, or the Base Commander." She scribbles something out on the page, but you can hardly focus when your world is virtually crumbling apart around you. "Now if you don't mind, some of us actually have work to do around here."
Still stunned, you can't help the way your breathing picks up as your heart begins to race. About a month ago now there was a base-wide meeting where they'd finally cracked down and implemented a new program the government is trying out: OPP. The Omega Pack Plan. While it's uncommon for Omegas to even be recruited into the military to begin with, such a thing does exist. Regardless, the Base Commander gathered everyone in the Auditorium for a presentation to talk about the new program and how the army would implement it into the troops. Luckily, considering you're on an elite Task Force, it doesn't apply to you. At least... it didn't.
"What the hell is this?!" You yell, tossing the orange bottle in his direction.
He'd heard the stomps all the way down the hall and smelled you coming, so he's neither surprised by your appearance, nor startled by the toss of the bottle. John swiftly catches it in his hand as he looks up at you. "What?" He inquires, finally glancing down to examine what he's caught. "A pill bottle?"
"Captain, it's empty! They won't refill it- I can-"
A groan tumbles past his lips as he drags a hand down his beard. "Look, Panther-" referring to you by your callsign, interesting move. "There's nothing I can do, it's over my head now. I wish I could do something, but I can't." Sitting back in his leather chair, Price places the bottle on the desk; a faint rap of the plastic hitting the wood is the only sound between you momentarily before you hurriedly shut the door.
Panic begins to flood your system as you're not sure how to handle this. It's your turn to freak out. You know how this goes, you know the story now; ever since they'd implemented and dispersed the Omegas into the troops, they'd started implementing them into the Task Forces, and now they have to do so with the One Four One. Fingers curling in and out of shapes as you try to process your next move, you speak before you can even begin to plan what you're going to tell him.
"I- I'm- I..." You're pacing his office now, the heavy gaze of your Captain upon you as you try to prevent yourself from hyperventilating. The thing is, you're usually good with pressure- really good. It's your job to be good. It's just... this is different. This is your life, your livelihood at stake, the livelihood of all your future generations to come.
A sigh resounds throughout the office before you hear the low timbre of his voice. "Dove," he calls out with a gentle tone, "I want you to take a deep breath for me. Alright?" With the calm and even sound of your Captain's voice and the assured look on his face, you comply. Exhaling the last of your breath, you close your eyes and focus in on the deep intake of air through your nose. With the parting of your lips you slowly release it before giving yourself a moment.
When you open your eyes he gestures to the seat before his desk, though you know he won't take offense if you decline. Hesitant, one hand finds its way to the other, wrapping around your arm as you listen to him speak. "Now, can you explain what has you in this state? I assure you that there's nothing that can't be dealt with." You want to trust him, you know him--John Price--your Captain. He's always had your back, always made sure you felt comfortable in the Taskforce, always made an effort to check on you after things got rough.
You nod. Licking your lips, you search his blue eyes as you tentatively take the seat across him.
"Whatever it is, we'll deal with it, alright? I can guarantee you that unless you're trying to tell me you're an Omega, nothing you say is going to shock me that warrants the amount of panic you're putting yourself through," Price chuckles. He's obviously joking, trying to break the tension with humor. Lips drawn upward into a small smile, the Captain stares at you expectantly.
"What if I am?" You whisper, eyes unable to tear from his visage as you try and gauge his reaction. Unexpectedly, silence fills the space between you and feels deafening in the small space. The growing comfort of his office these couple of months now feels like a cage you're forced to stay in, under watch, as you stare down your superior on the brink of a battle to the death. And that's what you do. His blue eyes bore into yours, skeptically shifting between your left and right as he seems to try and get a read on you.
All of the sudden you jump at the smack of his hands hitting the desk in front of him. He laughs at you.
He's laughing at you.
And you're sitting there with your guts spilled out, dread eating away at the pit in your stomach... and he's laughing. It feels like forever is passing you by as you stare at him in shock, this moment between the two of you frozen in time as nothing else persists.
"I understand what this was now," Price explains, still chuckling to himself as he shakes his head. There's a warm smile on his face that feels eerie considering the dire context of the situation at hand. "You got me! I fully believed you for a second there, too."
Eyebrows furrowing in dark realization, you can't help but stare at him wildly. "Wha-" You begin to question him and his line of thinking, but he cuts you off.
"This was all a prank, right? The bottle, the hysterics- you really outdid yourself, Sergeant." Leaning back in his chair, he props his ankle up on his other knee. "Because let me tell you, this was good. Better than anything Soap's cooked up in awhile. Did you come up with it yourself?" There's a cheeky grin on his lips. "Ah, I know you did."
Lips opening and closing like a fish out of water, you sit in the armchair across from him pale with a dazed look across your face. He doesn't actually think that this was...
"Well, with your little triumph in your pocket, I say we get back to work, yeah? I've got some new leads from MI6 that've just popped in." With that, the man stands from his desk and rounds it. "Garrick should be back around Tea. I'll see you in the Command Station then," he informs you. It's then that he passes by, a genial clap on your shoulder while he's at it.
Left stunned in silence, you can't help but grit your teeth, consequentially pronouncing your jaw as anger ebbs through your bloodstream. Breath getting heavier, you can't help but loathe the meeting tonight. Your Captain might be satisfied with the conversation, but all you feel is discouraged. He's abandoned you, left you alone in his office with a humiliating sense of betrayal and shattered trust. Almost like you hadn't just told him your biggest secret at all.
Punching the standard heavy punching bag hanging in front of you, you grunt, ignoring the pain that gnaws at your knuckles underneath the reusable hand wraps. Sweat builds on your brow as you continue to unleash your pent up anger on the gym’s equipment. How could he?! When had you ever pulled anything even similar to this? Never! And the fact that you’ve only been on the team for a handful of months only exacerbates the abandonment you’re feeling right now. He’s your Captain! Regardless of your feelings or the situation at hand, isn’t he supposed to be there for you? He’d promised from the get go to help you with whatever you need, and now the one time you go to him for aid it backfires in your face and leaves you without any sort of solution going forward aside from straight up telling the whole team the flat out truth, and God forbid! You can’t even begin to fathom how that’d go.
A pent up and frustrated yell almost akin to something of a growl emanates from you as you tear into another round of swift jabs and punches. Regardless of the situation at hand, you’ve been trying to build up your upper body’s strength and letting out the anger you’d accumulated over this morning’s events seemed like a perfect opportunity to let loose.
The stretches and treadmill routine didn’t take a lot out of you, but the weights, and now the punching bag definitely is starting to take its toll. Sweat beads at your forehead in rivulets that drip down the sides of your neck, down your scalp past your neck and between your shoulder blades. Tank top soaked in sweat, you breathe hard as your heart pumps rapidly in your chest. You would’ve wound up here at some point or another tonight, but the Captain’s discourteous response certainly led to an earlier workout time.
While others sparsely litter the gym’s floor, you pay them no mind and vice versa. It’s not uncommon for soldiers to be found blowing off steam or aiming to beat their highest reps on the weights. Yet, this gym is reserved for higher standing members of the Force, the gym on the far side of the base where there are less people, offices, and considering the regular army men train in the bigger gym closer to their quarters, it’s mostly other higher ranked officers in here.
“Captain’s lookin’ for ya,” Markowski, another Sergeant that you’d come to befriend on base announces from the doorway, having poked his head in after leaving a few minutes earlier. He belongs to a different Task Force.
A groan tumbles out of you as you realize it’s already that time. Just as the door clicks shut, your phone chimes loudly with the alarm you’d set earlier going off. A few quick swipes of your fingers, you turn the alarm off and unlock the device, seeing a number of messages flood your notifications.
Kyle: You hear they’ve bumped up the timeline? 😯
Johnny: “ https://Tiktok/Shattered.Rat567 ” Had me rollin’ 🤣👏🏻 Gotta check it, Bonnie
Simon: You coming to the meeting or not? 🤨
Johnny: Where r u? You’re usually first here 👀 Cap’s getting peeved, watch out
Not looking forward to the inevitable mess of a meeting before you, you don’t bother rushing to join the men. With a wash of your face in the women’s locker room, a speedy bathroom break, and a grab of the items you’d brought with you, you’re heading for the Command Station.
With the time Price set the meeting, you won't get to eat dinner till afterward. You'd be lying if you said you weren't annoyed by this entire situation, your agitation from neglecting your hunger earlier has certainly come to bite you in the backside.
While you don’t have time to respond to their texts, having set the alarm with only enough time to get back to your team’s Command ‘station’ albeit more like your headquarters before heading out. Speed-walking through the orderly halls with a haste perfectly common around here, you navigate with a well practiced knowledge. Though you’ve only been here coming up on six months soon, you’re well acquainted with this part of the base.
Rounding the corner, you’re in the hall, close. Yet, the worry of being late lingers in the back of your mind and adds another layer of annoyance on top of your residual anger buried deep down from this morning’s situation. You’d inevitably come up with your solution. It’s not one you like… but it’s the only logical option. Another turn and you’re striding into the big garage-like room.
“Nice of you to finally join us, Sergeant,” Price calls out to you. Lifting his eyes from the map laid out across your station's table, he glares in your direction.
“What took you so long?” Soap snaps, his brows slightly furrowed as he stares at you from the opposite side of the table, hands lazily wrapped around his vest’s straps.
A look at your watch tells you that you’re not even late, the meeting doesn’t officially start for another minute! But you are usually waiting on them. He’s got you there.
“Yeah, you’re usually the first one here. It’s not like you,” Gaz whispers under his breath as you sidle up alongside Ghost, Gaz standing diagonal to you right beside Price at the head of the table.
“Focus,” Ghost orders the men, his hands tucked in his hoodie’s pocket. You don’t fail to notice the way he subtly takes a step further away from you as soon as they start talking again. Price goes back to talking plans as Gaz is questioning the circumstances of the information the Captain had acquired earlier when he’d had to leave the office.
“Which is exactly why-”
A heavy exhale on your behalf leaves the men frozen as their eyes drift back to you. “Do you have something you’d like to say, Panther?” The Captain questions. Jaw clenched, you tear your eyes from the map they’d settled on.
“We’ve got a big problem,” you announce, cutting off the Captain as you finally raise your gaze to meet Price’s slightly widened blue eyes.
“Well, if you see something that needs changin’ then let’s hear it,” he responds. A ‘hmph’ follows as he crosses his arms over his chest and sits his weight back onto his heels.
“It’s not about the op,” you correct him. Tilting your head side to side you attempt to crack the kinks in your neck while standing a little straighter to appear more engaged and serious.
“And it’s more important than this? What we’re doin’ right now?” Soap questions, his hands dropping to rest on the table as he looms over it, eyeing you with frustration obvious in his irises.
“What is it?” Gaz asks, a quirk of his eyebrow garnering your attention for a split-second. He’s genuinely asking, and there doesn’t seem to be a hostility in his scent as he turns his attention to you. Then there’s Ghost, who you don’t even need to look at to feel his heavy gaze on you, waiting expectantly.
“Actually, it is,” you argue with Soap, anger beginning to boil in your belly, the frustration and angst having been left to simmer all afternoon. “I can’t believe you didn’t take me seriously when I came to you earlier,” you turn your anger on Price. He looks taken aback by the outburst, something you’re not known for.
“Dove,” he calls calmly, hands out in an attempt to pacify.
“Don’t-” you bark, starting to raise your voice without realizing it. “I came to you in confidance! Trusting you when you said you’d be there to help me if I ever needed it! How could you?” Gritting your teeth, you don’t realize how hard you’re breathing as your chest heaves with anger.
“Woah, woah-” Gaz sputters, “What-” holding his hands out to try and diffuse the argument.
“I let myself be vulnerable-” You continue to shout.
“Isn’t this something that shoul-” Soap attempts to dissuade, backing down as he puts his hands out.
“-and tell you the truth, and-” you’re lunging for him across the table. You’re held back by a massive hand on your shoulder. “You laugh in my face?! What the fuck is wrong with you?”
You're suddenly pulled back, off your feet, and shoved into a metal chair that'd been nearby. Your Lieutenant is hovering over you, his cold eyes now tinged with a spark of anger as they bore into you scrutinizingly. There's the sound of commotion behind him, multiple voices overlapping, yet you can't see anything with that utter giant in front of you!
“Does anyone wanna explain what the bloody hell is goin’ on here?” Ghost snaps. It's only then when the man steps aside that you can see where everyone is. With both of you in your respective corners, you simply glare at the Captain from over your crossed arms out in front of you.
“Are you bleedin’ kidding me, ya Scally?” Price grunts as he shrugs Gaz’ hand off his shoulder. “You’re still on about it! When w-"
"That doesn't explain what happened, Cap," Gaz interrupts, stopping him from going off and getting them nowhere.
He groans, running a hand over his face once more before composing himself. Everyone waits for an explanation—you too—he’d been the first to speak, and you’re curious to hear what he comes up with. “She came into my office, bloody cryin’, tossing me a pill bottle, muttering about, saying she’s a-”
You don’t dare let him finish, not wanting him to be the one to finally say it, exposing your truth to the team. "Omega. I’m an Omega, ” you finish his sentence. While you’re scared to meet their faces, you take a deep breath and force yourself to do so.
"Christ," Price curses, fingers coming up to pinch the skin between his brows as he hangs his head.
Ghost's stoicism is nothing unordinary, and in fact, is somewhat a comfort considering you'd expected nothing less from him.
Gaz looks stunned for a moment, eyes flitting about the other’s faces before the serious look on his face morphs. Lips slowly drawing upward, you shouldn’t be surprised when he starts laughing. "Yeah right," Garrick teases, "and I'm actually the Prime Minister."
Yet, it's not just him. The uproarious laughter from your right only adds fuel to the already burning flame as the two other Sergeants laugh like idiots. All as if it's some poor joke with no consequences to anyone's life, and yet... it's the truth. At the end of the day, it doesn't change anything. At the end of the day, your life is still in jeopardy and they're treating it like some joke. Unable to form any sort of retort, you simply blink; stuck in a stupor raw, stung, and with a dumb look on your face.
Soap, rounding the table slaps Gaz on the back, his face flushed red from laughing so hard. "Yer makin' my stomach hurt. God," he eggs the other on between his dying chuckles and attempting to catch his breath.
"You're really just gonna stand there and laugh?!" You finally burst. Anger surely must be coming off your scent in waves, but you don't care. Standing from the chair, you don't flinch as Ghost swipes his arm out in front of you in case you were going for the Captain again. There will be no physical altercation on his watch.
"She already pulled this on me earlier, mind you, and now what? You're trying to pull it over on the lads' too, eh?" Price goads you.
"And I was telling the truth! You're the one who said I was joking," you point out. The volume of your voice is lost on you, partially blinded by the fury bleeding out.
"I suppose you never did admit to it being a prank," Price reasons, fingers grazing his beard as he runs them over it repeatedly in thought. "But how do you expect us to believe that when you clearly smell of a Beta?"
"Even on the battlefield, after everything we've been through-" Gaz starts.
"After yer all sweaty from a workout, too. I think we'd notice, Pan," Johnny argues, illuminating a legitimate point of consideration.
"Oh please," you mutter quietly to yourself. Shaking your head, you can't believe they're really all being this daft right now. "Like you have heard of those Scent Spritzers.”
There are various perfumes on the market specifically designed to alter one’s scent. Most use it smell like an Alpha when they’re not, or an Omega when they’re wanting to seduce an Alpha when going out. But Omegas posing as Betas was rarely heard of. You’re more than sure it happens more frequently than people know of, they just haven’t been caught. And in your line of work? It’s scarce. People are thoroughly vetted, but… you’d been on suppressants for a long, long time. And a Beta perfume only perfected your hiding.
“Did you forget we’re Alphas, love? We’d be able to smell you across the room if you were,” Gaz taunts. There’s a puff of his chest that makes his cockiness even more annoying than usual.
"You really want to be an Omega? Dumb yourself down to some weak fragile thing?” Johnny jokes, nudging Gaz’ arm as he shakes his head.
“A doll who can get whoever she wants? Want to be nothing more than good for knockin' up and popping out pups?” Gaz adds on.
“Are you serious right now?” You test, seething under your skin as your hands ball up into fists. “How could you say that?!”
“It’s what people say,” Ghost comments.
“Nobody would want that and you’re out here lying about it,” Johnny pokes.
“We’re only trying to point out the flaws in your little rouse, Pan,” Gaz says, a smile lighting up his features as he crosses his arms over his chest.
"And what if I was lying, hm? Would that change anything you just said to me? How you feel about Omegas?" You scoff.
“This isn’t about your designation,” Price finally speaks. Fingers still weaved into his beard, his blue eyes lift to meet yours. “I see what this is about now, but there's nothin' to worry about, Dove.” Your Captain takes on a softer tone and all of the sudden you feel yourself start to get emotional as a twinge of sadness, of the hurt bleeding through upon understanding makes you feel seen.
“I know it's intimidating, the thought of having your first unmedicated heat, but we have medics here. It's natural. Heats, ruts, we all have them. And, hey... at least you're not an Omega, right?" Whatever relief you’d momentarily experienced sinks back down in your gut with the speed of a rollercoaster drop. It’s as silent as a stakeout, the only sound being people’s breathing. And the lack of yours.
It takes a moment to gather yourself, everyone’s eyes on you with the serious topic change. While sex and the downsides to a designation are something discussed with the boys, you’d often been left out. And to your comfort. "You know what? I can’t do this,” you retort. Backing from the group, you toss your hands up. “I guess you'll just have to wait and see," you bite back. With a whip of your hair over your shoulder, you head for the door.
The room is silent once more as everyone gawks. You’d never reacted in such a manner, had an outburst like that… this is… certainly different, and something they’re not at all used to.
“It’s because they took away her suppressants today,” Price explains. It might not have been something the group should be privileged to know. A private matter, really… but with the way you acted? He felt the men deserve an explanation, at least.
“That makes sense,” Gaz responds quietly, eyes still on the door you’d gone through.
“That’s no excuse,” Johnny counters, arms crossing over his chest with a scowl on his lips.
"Well... that went better than I thought,” Ghost comments with a shrug. “Back to the plan? We can fill her in later.”
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