arpicityandneed
arpicityandneed
apricity
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noun "the warmth of the sun in winter" mina. 26. Black Indigenous. disabled.
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arpicityandneed · 8 days ago
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Kataryna Castle
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arpicityandneed · 8 days ago
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After nearly my first month in grad school I've barely had time to write or read so I appreciate a piece that's a beautiful quick read with plenty to draw me in. I love Buckys internal struggle and how we see him balancing that with how much he loves reader. I love that he made dinner and that reader fully acknowledged his efforts and feelings. I just love their very tender and thoughtful dynamic. It is so wholesome to read and I need some wholesomeness right now. đŸ«¶
City Lights and Mountain Hearts
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Pairing: Lumberjack!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: 18+ only. Fluff. Slight Angst. Smut. Unprotected sex.
Summary: Stuck in the city for Valentine’s week, Bucky grapples with old wounds, self-doubt, and the urge to escape. Luckily, even if he doesn’t know how to express it, he is not alone.
Word Count: 10.5k.
note: Part of the Roots and Branches AU
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The soft pling of an incoming email pulled her attention away from the cheesy vampire novel she had been working on, pausing her fingers on the keyboard. She furrowed her brows at the notification in the corner of her screen, precisely at the subject line.
URGENT: In-Person Attendance Required – Feb 12–16
Her company rarely required in-person meetings, much less for an entire week. But as her eyes scanned the neatly written email, her heart sank. They were hosting a conference within the city, an important one, and all key personnel were expected to attend and be involved. No exceptions.
“Great,” she muttered, rubbing her temple. Of all the weeks.
She didn’t mind her job -she actually liked it most days- but this? This was just bad timing. Her first Valentine’s Day with Bucky, and instead of spending it in their little town, she’d be stuck in a place she hadn’t missed, surrounded by endless traffic, overpriced coffee, and the constant hum of people who never stopped moving.
She exhaled sharply, leaning back in her chair. Bucky. He wouldn’t say it outright, but she knew how he felt about the city. He barely ever talked about his time there, and when he did, it was with the same tight-lipped, wary expression he wore when someone brought up his past.
He was not going to be thrilled about this.
She had to tell him. The sooner, the better. Then they could figure out what to do, whether they’d spend the week apart or
 maybe he could come. By the time the sun had dipped behind the trees, she had made up her mind. She couldn’t change the situation, but she could soften the news.
So, she set the table with two mugs of hot chocolate and cut a generous slice of apple pie for him. Lately, she had been making dinner later and later, caught up in work, but tonight, she wanted to be ready when he walked through the door.
The familiar sound of the lock clicking open made her stomach flip, slightly tightening her fingers around her mug. Bucky stepped inside, shaking off the chill as he pushed the door shut behind him. He slipped his jacket off, draping it over the back of a chair, and then he made his way toward the kitchen, drawn in by the scent of cinnamon and warm apples. He stopped in the doorway, tired blue eyes flicking between the waiting mugs and the careful way she was watching him. He knew that look.
Something was up.
But before he could ask, she gave him a small, hopeful smile and gestured toward the table. “I made pie.”
----
He sat there, munching the pie with his gaze glued to the plate. She knew he was turning it over in his head, weighing every part of the situation the way he always did.
He swallowed, took a sip of hot chocolate, then let out a slow sigh.
"Guess I'll have to go too."
Her brows lifted slightly. "Bucky, you’re not obligated. It’s totally okay if you-"
"I'll drive us there." His tone left no room for argument. "You’re not spendin’ Valentine’s Day alone. I know you’ve been preparin’ somethin’ for that day, even when I told you I didn’t really mind those kinda celebrations."
She watched as he swirled the chocolate with his spoon, his eyes still cast downward like admitting that cost him something.
"Well, um
 yeah," she murmured, tucking her hair behind her ear. "That was when I thought we'd be here, and-"
"Sweetheart." His voice was softer now, and when he finally looked at her, there was something in his gaze, something that made her heart ache a little. "It’s okay. We’ll go together."
-----
The next morning when she woke up, Bucky was gone.
That was unusual. Saturdays and Sundays were slow mornings, mornings where he lingered in bed longer than he needed to, where she could coax him into staying even when he grumbled about getting up. But today, the space beside her was cold, like he hadn’t been there in hours.
She found the note on the dinner table.
Had some business to take care of. Be back later.
No explanation. No details. Typical.
She sighed, running a hand through her hair, but let it go. If Bucky needed space, she’d give it to him. Instead, she made herself breakfast, turned on her laptop, and got to work. The sooner she got ahead of things, the more time they’d have in the city. And she wanted them to have time, time to make it feel like something other than just another obligation.
-----
Bucky was in his spot in the woods, where the air was sharp and clean, where the only sounds were the wind through the trees and his own breathing. Where he didn’t have to think.
February wasn’t the best time for chopping wood, but he didn’t care. He just needed to move, to burn through the thing curling tight in his chest.
It had been over fifteen years since he set foot in the city. He had left with a full cast on his arm and never looked back. He should have gone back, just once, just long enough to get the damn thing removed properly. Instead, he’d let the local doctor handle it and told himself it wasn’t worth the trip. Told himself it didn’t mean anything.
Maybe it had. Maybe it had meant more than he let himself admit.
The axe came down with brutal precision, and the wood split instantly. He barely registered it, his mind still circling the same damn thoughts.
The city. He didn’t belong there.
Too many people, too much noise, too many eyes. He already could feel the way the stares would burn into him, the way his skin would crawl under all that attention. He could handle a few looks here in town, the occasional glance from curious folks, the gossip
 but the city? That was different. In the city, people watched.
And the worst part? He knew what they’d see.
Some guy who didn’t fit. A man too rough around the edges, too quiet, too scarred.
The axe came down again, unrelenting.
He wiped his forehead with the back of his sleeve, exhaling hard. What the fuck was he even supposed to wear there? He barely had anything that would blend in. Just one pair of decent jeans and a couple of henleys that might keep him from looking like an uneducated stud.
Might.
-----
He returned just before lunch, the sharp bite of cold still clinging to his skin, the muscles of his arm aching like a bitch but in a way that felt more comforting than exhausting. Chopping wood had helped -somewhat- but not enough to shake the weight pressing down on him.
Then, he stepped into the house, and the scent hit his nose.
Tenderloin. Creamed potatoes.
His favorite.
His stomach grumbled in approval, and when he rounded the corner into the kitchen, he found her setting the last plate on the table. She glanced up at him with a smile, like she hadn’t just completely read his mind.
“You’re back just in time,” she said, brushing her hands off on a dish towel. “Figured you’d be hungry.”
Bucky huffed, shrugging off his jacket. She knows. Of course, she knew. She always knew.
By the time he sat down, the first bite was enough to make his shoulders loosen. He didn’t say anything, just focused on his plate, on the warmth of the food, on how damn good it tasted.
By the time he finished his third helping, he finally leaned back in his chair, exhaling through his nose. “Darlin’, you’re gonna have to roll me out of here if you keep makin’ stuff like this.”
She huffed a laugh, stacking a couple of plates. “You say that like it’s my fault.”
“It is your fault,” he muttered, lazily twirling his fork. “Cookin’ like this.” He shook his head, tone half-admiring, half-accusatory. “Unfair.”
She chuckled, wiping down the counter before glancing over at him. He looked content, a rare sight when something was eating him. That alone made her move closer, stepping into his personal space.
Bucky barely had time to react before her arms wrapped around him, pressing a warm hug against his side. His chest tensed -not because he didn’t want it, never because he didn’t want it- but because it caught him off guard.
She pulled back slightly, flickering her eyes down, and before he could ask, she reached up and wiped the corner of his mouth with her thumb.
“There was-” she paused, tilting her head. “Potato.”
Bucky stiffened.
His hand came up to his mouth a second too late, rubbing over the spot as a slow warmth crept up his neck.
She just grinned. “You’re cute when you’re flustered.”
He scowled, with the kind of embarrassment that made him shift in his chair and grumble under his breath.
“Not flustered.”
“Uh-huh.”
She kissed his cheek quickly, then stepped away before he could protest further.
Bucky exhaled, rubbing his jaw before dropping his hand with a quiet hmph. He didn’t argue, because what was the point? She was already moving on, making casual conversation as she tidied up.
Then-
“We should probably grab a few things for the trip,” she said lightly, not looking at him as she rinsed a plate. “I was thinking we could head into town tomorrow, and pick out a couple of things.”
Bucky hummed in response, but the food in his stomach suddenly felt heavier.
------
They sat at the kitchen table with a notepad between them, as they jotted down things they’d need for the trip. The list was simple: snacks, water, some groceries.
“I’ll make something for the road,” she said, tapping the pen against the paper. “Something easy to eat while driving. I’ll grab the ingredients tomorrow.”
He nodded, with arms crossed as he leaned back in his chair. “I’ll check the truck. Make sure the tires, oil, and water are good.”
She hummed, writing that down, but then-
“Toilet paper.”
She paused, blinking at him. “What?”
“For the glove compartment,” Bucky said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Her lips twitched. “Why?”
His ears went pink. “What d’you mean why? When you gotta go, you gotta go. Even if it’s the middle of the road.”
She pressed her lips together, trying really hard not to laugh. “I mean, fair point.”
Bucky grumbled something under his breath as she added it to the list, the color still lingering on his cheeks. But then she glanced up, chewing on the end of the pen.
“You’ll need to grab some clothes from your cabin.”
That was when the shift happened.
His body didn’t move, but something in his expression tightened, a flicker of hesitation crossing his features.
She noticed immediately.
“Hey,” she said gently. “You’re gonna be okay.”
Bucky exhaled through his nose, rubbing a hand over his jaw. “Yeah.” He didn’t sound convinced.
She reached across the table, touching his arm, waiting until he finally looked at her. “One step at a time, alright?”
A beat passed. Then another.
“Yeah,” he muttered, finally. “Guess I don’t have much of a choice.”
She squeezed his arm before letting go, keeping her voice light. “Actually, while we’re on the subject
 do you have enough clothes to bring along?”
He sighed, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I mean
 I got stuff. But
” He hesitated. “I probably need some new things.”
She nodded slowly, reading between the lines.
He dreaded shopping. Trying things on, getting questioned by clerks, feeling pressured to buy things he didn’t even like.
“I can go,” she offered. “Pick some things up for you.”
Bucky glanced at her, skeptical. “And if I don’t like ‘em?”
“We return them first thing Monday morning.”
He exhaled, considering. “I don’t want anything fancy.”
“You? Fancy?” She smirked. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
He rolled his eyes, and his shoulders eased the tension, just a little.
“
Something blue or black for the top,” he muttered after a pause.
She grinned. “See? That wasn’t so hard.”
She could sense the weight still pressing down on him, so she steered the conversation into safer waters. “For the food, I was thinking
 have you ever tried empanadas?”
Bucky’s brows lifted slightly. “Yeah, actually. Back in the army. One of the guys- his ma would bring ‘em when she visited. He’d share sometimes.”
Her eyes lit up. “Did you like them?”
He nodded, and a hint of a smile softened his features. “Yeah. They were good.”
“Well,” she said, leaning back in her chair, “I was thinking of making a meaty filling. Figured you’d like that.”
His lips twitched, an approving glint in his eyes. “Sounds great.”
She glanced at the clock, noting the time. “Alright, let’s head into town before the shops close. Almost no one opens on Sundays around here.”
Bucky let out a mock groan, pressing a hand to his stomach. “You sure you can get me outta this chair? Ate too much. You’re gonna make me gain weight at this rate.”
She laughed, standing up and stretching. “You’ll look very sexy. And I’ll have more of you to grab.”
That got him. His cheeks flushed a faint red as he ducked his head, suddenly finding the notepad very interesting.
“C’mon, big guy. Let’s go before the town shuts down on us.”
-----
Monday morning, they departed early.
He had insisted on driving, and she let him. Her meeting wasn’t until the afternoon, which meant they had time to get to the Airbnb, settle in, and for her to change before she had to leave. She had suggested a hotel -something nice, something easy- but he had shut down that idea pretty fast.
“Not stayin’ in a damn hotel,” he had muttered.
She knew why. It wasn’t just about avoiding people, it was about having a place that felt less like the city, a place that wasn’t sterile and unfamiliar, a place where he wouldn’t feel watched. An Airbnb was as close to a home as they were going to get in a place that felt otherwise hostile to him.
The trip itself was fine, though Bucky was quieter than ever. She didn’t push, didn’t try to fill the silence, just read her book, occasionally serving him coffee. She figured he needed to settle into his own thoughts and get used to the idea that they were going back to a place he had spent over more than a decade avoiding.
Eventually, she heard it, the low, unmistakable growl of his stomach.
She grinned, closing her book. “Alright, honey. Pull over.”
Bucky grunted. “M’fine.”
“Uh-huh.” She arched a brow. “Pull over. I’ll drive while you eat.”
He gave her a look but didn’t argue, pulling off in the curve. They switched places, and as soon as he grabbed the first empanada, she heard it, the almost joyful sound he made as he took the first bite.
She had eaten earlier, thank God, because somehow, Bucky managed to put away eight in one sitting. And an apple.
As he chewed, thoroughly pleased, she eyed him. “Bucky, are you sure you’re not pregnant?”
He paused mid-bite, squinting at her. “What?”
She grinned. “I mean, the way you’re inhaling those? You’re either growing a small human or preparing for winter hibernation.”
He swallowed, scowling. “They’re good.”
She chuckled, focusing back on the road. “Glad you like ‘em.”
She drove in silence, letting him be.
Bucky had eaten enough to put himself into a food coma, but that wasn’t the only reason he’d drifted off. She knew last night had been restless for him if he had even slept at all. He hadn’t said anything, but she’d felt it in the way he held her a little too long before bed, the way his breathing never fully evened out, the way he had been up before her.
So, when she glanced over and saw him slumped against the window, arms crossed, head tilted slightly, she wasn’t surprised. His chest rose and fell evenly, a few stray crumbs still clinging to his shirt.
She smiled a little and let him sleep.
For a couple of hours, she focused on the road, as the monotone hum of the tires and the quiet murmur of the radio filled the space. But as they got closer to the city, everything changed. The road widened, traffic thickened, and the sky was swallowed by looming buildings.
A sudden blaring horn cut through the quiet.
Bucky jolted awake immediately, sucking in a sharp breath as his hand twitched toward something. His seatbelt, the door, his hip. She wasn’t sure if he was reaching for a weapon or just bracing himself, but for a split second, his eyes were wild, darting around before finally landing on her.
She winced. “Sorry. City drivers.”
He exhaled hard, rubbing a hand down his face. “Should’ve woken me up. I could’ve driven.”
“And be cranky and starving while stuck in traffic?” She shot him a look before glancing back at the GPS. “Yeah, no thanks.”
He muttered something under his breath, but the fight had already left him. Instead, he turned his head toward the window, taking in the skyline, the crowded sidewalks, and the flashing signs. His fingers tapped restlessly against his thigh.
A few more turns, and she finally pulled up in front of their Airbnb. A modest little apartment, nothing flashy, but in a quieter area just ten minutes from where she needed to be.
She shifted into the parking lot and sighed, stretching her fingers. “Alright. Home sweet home.”
Bucky didn’t move at first, just stared up at the building like it might lunge at him.
Then, with a slow exhale, he unbuckled his seatbelt and reached for their bags.
-----
They didn’t need a key.
Instead, there was a digital lock with a number combination, which she entered easily after checking the confirmation email. The mechanism beeped, the door clicked open, and Bucky’s stomach twisted.
He didn’t like it.
A code? No actual lock? Who else had access to this thing? The owner, obviously. Maybe the cleaning crew. What if the code hadn’t been changed recently? How hard could it be to override it, to force the door open if someone really wanted to? What if-
Then he felt it.
Her arms wrapped around his waist, her body pressing into his back. A second later, a soft kiss against the space between his shoulder blades.
Bucky exhaled. Slowly.
“I’ll go change and then I’ll leave,” she murmured against his shirt. “Why don’t you take a shower and get comfortable? Or go for a walk if you want.”
He didn’t answer right away, just rested his hand over hers where it rested on his stomach, giving it a small squeeze. Not much, but enough to let her know he’d heard her.
She squeezed back before stepping away, leaving him standing in the doorway as she disappeared inside.
He took another slow breath, glancing at the lock one last time before finally stepping inside after her.
-----
The apartment was
 fine.
Smaller than her place back home, but clean, modern. The furniture was sleek, everything in shades of beige and gray, the kind of aesthetic that looked nice in photos but didn’t feel like anyone lived there. Too polished. Too impersonal.
But it was quiet.
That was something, at least.
Bucky paced through the space, scanning everything the way he always did when he entered somewhere new. Windows locked. No weird creaks on the floor. The bathroom door was solid, good enough for some peace. The bedroom was decent -bigger than he expected- but the bedspread was stiff, too neat, too unfamiliar. The walls were bare, and the city noise outside was muffled but ever-present, like a dull hum beneath his skin.
He sighed, rubbing his face. It wasn’t home. But for the next few days, it had to be. He wandered back into the kitchen, running a hand over the smooth counters. It was nice, but something about it felt
 unused. Like no one had ever actually cooked in here before.
Well. That was about to change.
Without really thinking about it, he decided he’d make dinner.
They had packed some groceries in a box in the truck’s back, just to be safe, in case they couldn’t find a store right away. He sorted through it, pulling out what he needed.
Dinosaur pasta.
She had laughed at him when he tossed it into the cart back home, but he didn’t care. It was easy and reliable. And this time, he’d give it a twist. She had taught him how to make pink sauce a while ago, and he’d actually paid attention. Figured he’d surprise her with it.
Or so he thought.
The hour of her return came and went.
Bucky stirred the sauce one last time, glancing at the clock. Then the door. No messages.
He exhaled, shaking his head. She’s busy. It’s fine.
But another half hour passed. Then another. The food sat untouched, already cold. His chest tightened. Not with anger, not really, but with something else. Something he didn’t want to name.
Eventually, he gave up. He microwaved himself a portion, eating in silence before rinsing his plate and heading for the bedroom.
He didn’t bother turning on the big lights, just flipped on the TV, letting it play something -anything- to fill the space. He lay back against the pillows, one arm behind his head, eyes on the screen but not really watching.
Then, finally, the sound of the front door opening.
Soft footsteps. A rustling of bags.
A pause.
“
Bucky?”
He didn’t answer right away, just listened. A quiet exhale. Then-
“My phone died,” she said, her voice carried down the hall. “I couldn’t message you. I- I’m so sorry.”
Bucky blinked up at the ceiling, with his lips pressed into a thin line.
For a second, he debated saying it’s fine. But it wasn’t, not really. He wasn’t mad, not exactly, but something swirled in his chest, something that made him feel stupid for waiting, for hoping for something as simple as dinner together.
So instead, he just said, “There’s food in the kitchen.”
A beat of silence. Then soft footsteps, getting closer.
She peeked into the room, eyes full of guilt. “You made dinner?”
Bucky shrugged. “Figured you’d be hungry.”
“You’re so thoughtful, darling,” she murmured, stepping closer. “I’m really sorry. I’m sure it’s delicious.”
He hummed, noncommittal, eyes flicking back to the TV. He wasn’t trying to be cold, but something in him was still knotted up, and he didn’t know how to untangle it just yet.
She didn’t push.
Instead, she peeled off the blazer she had been wearing all day, then unbuttoned her blouse, sighing in relief as she swapped it out for something infinitely more comfortable: one of his old henleys.
She had stolen it from his cabin months ago, claiming it as hers without argument, and at this point, he had just accepted it.
Bucky caught the familiar fabric from the corner of his eye, and for some reason, that tiny thing made his chest ache a little less.
She gave him one last look, a small, tired smile before disappearing into the kitchen to heat up the food.
-----
The hum of the microwave filled the kitchen, casting a soft glow over the countertops as she leaned against them, rubbing her tired eyes. She hadn’t realized how hungry she was until now, as the scent of the warmed-up pasta made her stomach grumble.
She pulled the plate out, grabbed a fork, and settled at the small dining table. The first bite was perfect, creamy, and rich, with just the right balance of tomato and cream. Even after sitting for hours, it was still good. She smiled to herself. Of course, it was.
She heard a faint noise behind her, and she glanced up to see Bucky lingering in the doorway, arms crossed, watching her eat. He wasn’t brooding, not exactly, but there was something unreadable in his expression, something cautious like he was still holding onto whatever had crawled into his chest earlier.
She chewed slowly, then set her fork down. “You gonna stand there all night, or you wanna come sit?”
Bucky huffed through his nose but pushed off the doorframe, walking toward her with slow, measured steps. He didn’t sit, though. Just leaned against the counter, hands braced on either side of him.
She took another bite, then met his gaze. “It’s really good.”
He hummed like he wasn’t sure whether to believe her.
She frowned, chewing on the inside of her cheek. Then, without thinking too hard about it, she reached for his hand, lacing her fingers through his.
Bucky stilled.
She squeezed gently, running slow circles over the back of his hand with her thumb. “I hate that you waited for me and I wasn’t here.”
He let out a slow exhale, shifting his shoulders. “S’not your fault.”
“I know,” she murmured. “But I still hate it.”
He was quiet for a long moment, his eyes flicked away like he wasn’t sure what to do with the feeling pressing against his ribs.
Then, finally, he squeezed her hand back. She smiled, tugging lightly until he sighed and gave in, pulling out the chair beside her and sitting down.
She took another bite, then set her fork down again. “You know I love this, right?”
He blinked at her. “What?”
She gestured to the plate. “You. Making dinner. Thinking about me. I know you don’t think it’s a big deal, but it is to me.”
Bucky swallowed, flexing his fingers around hers. “Yeah?”
She smiled, bringing his hand to her lips and pressing a soft kiss against his knuckles. “Yeah.”
He let out a slow breath for the first time that night, as something in his chest finally let go.
------
The next morning, they went out to walk around and make the most of their time before she had to head to her second meeting. The city was already alive with movement, people rushing to work, street vendors setting up, the noise of conversations and car horns blending into the background noise.
They grabbed something to eat at a small cafĂ©, sitting by the window, watching the world go by. Bucky was quieter than usual, but she didn’t push. He had agreed to come with her and had stepped into a place he hated for her, and that was already more than enough.
After breakfast, they strolled down a quieter street, hand in hand. She had been enjoying herself -taking in the sights, pointing out things she thought were interesting- when she finally noticed it.
Bucky was stiff.
His jaw was tight, and his free hand curled into a loose fist by his side. But what really gave him away was the way his eyes moved, scanning their surroundings, tracking every person that passed by.
She squeezed his hand gently. “What’s wrong?”
He exhaled, shaking his head. “Nothin’.”
She arched a brow. “Bucky.”
His shoulders shifted, and after a pause, he sighed. “
I feel observed.”
Her heart clenched a little. She knew what this was, his self-consciousness creeping in, his social anxiety pressing against his ribs, telling him he didn’t belong here, seeing threats where there were none.
She rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand. “I don’t perceive it.”
He made a quiet, disbelieving sound, but before he could argue, she smirked. “Although, I do think there’s a bunch of women looking at you.”
That startled him. He blinked down at her. “What?”
“You’re too handsome,” she simply said, like it was a fact.
Bucky groaned, shaking his head. “‘Guess only you see that, darlin’.”
She scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Bucky, I’m gonna say this once, because I really don’t want you all cocky later, but
 you are a gorgeous man.”
His brows pulled together, like the very idea confused him. Before he could brush it off, she pressed on.
“I know you don’t see yourself like that. Not anymore. But you are,” she said firmly, squeezing his hand. “So believe me when I tell you that probably six out of ten women we’ve passed would say yes if you asked them out.”
Bucky’s ears tinged pink, and his lips parted slightly before he clamped his mouth shut, looking away. He shifted his weight, clearing his throat like that would somehow push the embarrassment down.
“
That’s not a real statistic,” he muttered.
------
He sat on a park bench, stretching his legs out as she wandered over to a street vendor. She was buying caramelized peanuts, chatting with the old man behind the cart, moving her hands as she gestured about something.
He let his gaze stray through the park.
A pair of guys in army uniforms caught his attention as they strolled past, laughing easily, and moving with confident steps. One of them playfully nodded toward a group of girls sitting on a nearby bench, earning a few shy smiles in return.
Bucky’s chest stiffened.
Once upon a time, he had been one of those guys.
A menace on his days off, all easy charm and reckless energy making the most of whatever time he had before duty called again. He had forgotten, sometimes, what that version of himself looked like.
But then-
The unending campaigns. The things he had to do. The things he couldn’t take back.
His mind yanked him somewhere else, somewhere darker.
The storage house. The explosion. The searing heat of fire before everything went black, then worse, the crushing weight, the sickening snap of bone, the panic clawing up his throat as he realized he was trapped.
Dying buried alive.
Rainwater trickled through the cracks, dampening the dust, and turning it into mud.
His breathing fastened and his gaze dropped to the pavement, curling his fingers into his palms. The world around him dimmed, his body here but his mind there, stuck between then and now.
Then-
A touch. Soft. Soothing.
His head jerked up, with an unfocused gaze.
She crouched beside him, resting her hand lightly on his shoulder, with a concerned expression.
And when his eyes met hers, she sucked in a small, worried breath, because she had never seen that look in his eyes before.
Vacant. Haunted.
Lost.
-----
She didn’t let go of his hand the entire walk back.
Bucky didn’t protest, but he didn’t say much either. His grip was solid, but his steps were stiff, and his jaw was locked so tight she could see the muscle twitching. He kept his eyes forward, scanning the sidewalk, shoulders squared like he was bracing for something, though she wasn’t sure what.
She kept her voice soft. “Almost there.”
He hummed, barely acknowledging it.
She didn’t push.
The city noise surrounded them. The honking of cars, the chatter of people passing by, the echo of hurried footsteps against the pavement, but she barely noticed. Her focus was on him, on the way he was still somewhere else, even as they turned the last corner and the building came into view.
When they reached the door, she entered the code with one hand, still holding onto him with the other. The lock clicked. She pushed the door open, stepping inside first before turning to look at him.
Bucky exhaled slowly like he was only now allowing himself to breathe.
She gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “Come on.”
He didn’t move at first, flicking his eyes past her like he wasn’t sure he wanted to cross the threshold. But then, slowly, he stepped inside.
She shut the door behind him.
“Wanna lie down?” she asked softly.
Bucky didn’t answer right away, but then he nodded, just once.
She guided him toward the bedroom, with her hand still loosely curled around his. The moment they reached the bed, she lay down first, settling against the pillows. He hesitated for only a second before following, shifting until he found the place he always found soothing, his head resting in the valley of her breasts, arms wrapped firmly around her waist.
She exhaled, letting her fingers trace slow, lazy circles across his back.
He said nothing, but she felt it, the way his body, little by little, started to relax against her. The tension in his shoulders softened, his breathing evened out, and his grip on her went from holding on to simply holding.
The minutes passed on, and the only sound in the room was the soft tick of the clock.
“You’re gonna be late,” he grumbled, muffled against her body.
She hummed, drifting her fingers up into his hair, massaging his scalp in slow, soothing strokes. “Don’t care.”
Bucky huffed.
“They haven’t even deposited my travel allowance yet,” she added. “They can wait a few more minutes.”
He sighed against her, and she felt it, the subtle way he melted just a little more, sinking into the warmth of her touch, the safety of her body against his.
“Tell you what,” she murmured, still tracing slow circles over his scalp. “Since you’re so tense, I’ll give you a nice massage when I get back. What do you think?”
Bucky nuzzled against her chest, exhaling a breath that was just shy of a sigh. “I’d be real fucked up if I said no to that.”
She smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “Perfect.”
Her hands never stopped moving, going down to rub at the knots in his shoulders, then ghosting along the base of his neck.
After a moment, she shifted slightly beneath him. “Will you be okay alone in here?”
He nodded against her.
It wasn’t a complete lie.
He would be fine. The walls weren’t closing in, the noise from outside was manageable, and he had a place to retreat to, away from the chaos of the city. Technically, he’d be fine.
But deep down, he knew what was coming.
She would leave. The apartment would get too quiet. His thoughts -the ones he had been trying to push down since the park- would creep back in, crawling up his throat, and pressing against his ribs.
And that dark, familiar pull would be there, whispering its old, ugly promises.
It was one of his last dirty secrets.
One he was ashamed to reveal to her.
He had gotten better -so much better- but the temptation never really went away. Sometimes it was just a flicker, something he could ignore. Other times

Like now.
His fingers twitched against her waist, resisting the urge to reach for his phone, to make the order before she even left. Just one bottle. Just to take the edge off.
“I won’t be gone long,” she reassured him.
Bucky swallowed. Nodded again.
“I know,” he murmured, hoping she couldn’t hear the lie beneath his words.
-----
The second the door shut behind her, the apartment felt different.
Empty.
He stayed in bed for a moment, lying on his back, staring at the ceiling. The warmth her body had left behind was fading, replaced by the cool feeling of being alone.
He took a slow breath. Let it out.
Then he sat up, rubbed a hand down his face, and reached for his phone.
It wasn’t even a debate, not really. The thought had been there since the park, lurking in the back of his mind, and now, without her here to distract him, it clawed its way forward.
Just a bottle. Just a drink. Just to settle things.
His fingers moved before he could talk himself out of it. A few taps, an automatic confirmation. Done.
He didn’t know how long he sat there, but the knock on the door came quicker than expected. He stood slowly, crossing the room, hesitating just for a second before pulling the door open.
The delivery guy barely looked at him, just handed over the bag, muttering a quick have a good one before turning away.
Bucky shut the door and stared down at the weight in his hands.
For a long moment, he didn’t move.
Then, he walked into the kitchen and set the bottle down on the counter. He exhaled sharply, rolling his shoulders before turning away. His muscles ached from how tense he’d been all morning
He’d take a shower first.
But the water didn’t wash away his thoughts.
His mind was on a battlefield, mud, blood, fire, and screams. The weight of debris pinning him down. The searing pain in his left arm, so sharp it had felt like his body was being torn in half.
And then
 the hospital.
The look on the officer’s face when he was told, flatly, clinically, that he was expendable. That his sacrifice had been expected. Calculated. That they would move forward without him.
Bucky squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his forehead against the shower tiles. He had fought for his country. Given everything. And when he needed them most, they had tossed him aside like a broken weapon.
Then she walked away.
He tousled his hair, exhaling sharply as the memory crawled forward, uninvited.
She had grown distant. At first, it was subtle: longer pauses between messages, a clipped voice when she finally answered his calls. Then came the excuses. How busy she was. How complicated things werefor her. How she needed time.
Eventually, she stopped answering at all.
Her friend had been the one to deliver the final blow. “It was difficult for her,” she had said, carefully avoiding his eyes. “She’s not in a place to handle
 your situation. She’s struggling too, you know.”
His situation.
His problems.
His disability.
He turned off the water, with a rough movement. He grabbed a towel, rubbing it over his face before wrapping it around his waist.
By the time he stepped out of the bathroom, his mind was still in shambles, raw and restless, like an itch he couldn’t scratch.
Then his eyes landed on the counter.
The bottle was still there, untouched. Waiting.
Bucky cursed under his breath.
His fingers twitched, and before he could think too hard about it, he grabbed the bottle and poured himself a glass. He stared at his distorted reflection on the smooth, amber-colored surface for a while.
But he didn’t drink.
Instead, he turned away, rubbing a towel over his damp hair. He needed boxers. Maybe if he did something -even something as simple as getting dressed- it would take the edge off.
He shuffled through his suitcase, pushing aside neatly folded shirts, a couple of henleys, and his new corduroy pants. No boxers. He frowned.
Then he remembered, she had packed them in hers.
With a sigh, he crouched next to her bag, unzipping it and rummaging inside. His fingers brushed against some fabric, then something firmer, a box.
Cardboard. Smooth.
Curious, he lifted it out.
It was a large, homemade chocolate box from Winnifred’s, the local baker back home. He recognized it instantly.
He swallowed hard, looking down at the box in his hands, tightening his grip around it while he walked to the living room.
She had planned this, before the trip. She had thought of him, of making this first Valentine’s together special, even when she knew he wasn’t the kind of guy who cared for fancy celebrations.
And he knew -of course he knew- she had probably planned something else, something back home. Maybe dinner at his cabin, decorated secretly while he worked, something small but theirs alone. But the trip had messed everything up, throwing them into this place that didn’t feel right, didn’t feel like home.
Still, she had brought a little piece of it with her, for him.
Bucky exhaled shakily, blinking hard. His gaze flicked toward the counter, to the glass of whiskey waiting for him, and the bottle looming beside it.
For a moment, he just stared.
Then he walked over, grabbed the glass, and dumped it in the sink. The sharp splash of liquid against metal filled the silence, followed by the pour as he emptied the rest of the bottle down the drain.
He didn’t watch it disappear. Just threw the empty bottle in the trash, turned, and sat heavily on the couch. Then, he opened the chocolate box with careful fingers, staring at the neat rows inside, hovering his index over them for a moment before he grabbed one.
This would do.
He took a bite, letting the rich sweetness melt on his tongue.
Yeah.
This would do.
-----
The first thing she saw when she stepped through the door that afternoon, was Bucky sprawled on the couch, snoring softly.
Her surprise chocolate box rested almost empty over his stomach, and his fingers -coated with a brownish glint- dangled near the floor. His towel had loosened slightly, barely hanging onto his waist, exposing just enough skin to make her stare longer than necessary.
She pressed her lips together to keep from giggling.
She almost took a picture.
Almost.
But then, she remembered.
The way he had been before she left, lost in his own mind, dealing with something he didn’t want to express. It wouldn’t be strange if he had some kind of oral anxiety attack, needing something -anything- to keep himself calm.
So instead, she tiptoed, lifting the nearly empty chocolate box from his stomach and setting it aside. Then, she grabbed a blanket, draped it carefully over him, and turned down the lights.
With a small sigh, she slipped into the bedroom and pulled out his old henley. Clearly, they weren’t going out for the day.
She then moved into the kitchen, rolling up her sleeves as she started pulling out ingredients for dinner. She wasn’t in a rush, just moving through things, deciding what to make while Bucky got his rest.
It didn’t take long before she felt it.
The familiar warmth of strong arms wrapping around her waist. A heavy, solid weight pressed against her back. The slow, hot breath against her ear.
“Isn’t it the massage lady,” Bucky murmured, sleepily.
Before she could respond, he pressed a lazy kiss to the side of her neck. Then another. Slow, unhurried, tasting her, feeling her warmth beneath his lips.
She shivered, tilting her head just slightly, giving him more access. “You’re supposed to be asleep.”
He hummed against her skin, tightening his grip on her waist. “Woke up.” Another kiss, just below her jaw. “Found somethin’ better to do.”
She exhaled a soft laugh, resting a hand over his. “That so?”
“Mm.” His lips dragged lower, pressing against the curve of her shoulder. “Still gotta cash in that massage.”
Her smile widened. “Oh, do you?”
“Mhmm.” He nuzzled against her skin, voice dropping to a rasp. “Feelin’ all sorts of tension, sweetheart.”
She smirked, reaching back to run her fingers through his sleep-mussed hair. “Well, we did say we’d make the most of our time here
”
Bucky hummed his approval, as his hands started to wander, and his breath blew warm and slow against her pulse.
Dinner could wait.
She turned in his arms, her body still glued to his. Her hands slid up slowly, threading her fingers behind his neck, playing lazily with the hairs at his nape.
“Well, mister,” she murmured, tilting her head. “You’re already in your birthday suit
 where exactly are you aching?” she asked, playfully pressing herself flush against him, against the unmistakable evidence of his interest, thick and hard against her stomach.
Bucky let out a low, rumbling sound, tightening his hands around her waist. “You really gotta ask?”
She grinned, dragging her nails lightly over the back of his neck. “Mmm
 just making sure. Wouldn’t wanna miss a spot.”
His grip flexed, pulling her even closer, grinding his erection against her. “Sweetheart,” he rasped, voice thick with sleep and heat, “if you keep talkin’ like that, I’m afraid we’ll skip the massage.”
“Oh?” she hummed, trailing her fingers up the back of his neck, scratching lightly over his scalp. “And here I was, all ready to
 work on you.”
She let her one hand slide between them, dipping lower, palming his cock through the towel.
Bucky inhaled sharply, and his whole body tensed as her grip tightened just slightly, teasing, testing. His head tipped forward, resting his forehead against hers.
“Darlin’,” he warned, with a strained voice
She smiled, leaning in just enough for her lips to brush his. “What?” she murmured, giving another slow, deliberate squeeze.
Bucky groaned, a deep, needy sound. “You’re real close to losin’ that henley.”
She grinned, pressing a kiss to his jaw. “That a threat or a promise?”
“Both,” he growled, then kissed her like he meant it.
His lips crashed against hers, slow at first, but that control didn’t last long. Not with the way her fingers kept working him through the towel, sending heat curling low in his stomach, making his knees damn near weak.
He groaned again into her mouth, slipping one hand down to grab a handful of her thigh, pulling her flush against him. The pressure of her palm massaging his cock, the way her body molded to his, it was too much and not enough all at once.
“Fuck,” he muttered against her lips, with ragged breaths.
She smirked, dragging her nails lightly down his back. “You’re so tense, baby,” she teased, voice dripping with false innocence.
He huffed a laugh, slipping his hands slipping beneath the henley, warm, coarsed palms gliding over the bare skin of her thighs, up to her ass. He gave a firm squeeze, pulling her against his aching cock. “Yeah? Pretty sure you’re the one causin’ the tension.”
She gasped softly, and he took advantage of the sound, catching her lips again, and swallowing every little noise she made as he pressed her back against the counter.
Her fingers hooked into the knot of his towel, tugging, loosening it, but before she could pull it away completely, he grabbed her wrist, stopping her.
“Oh, no,” he rasped, dragging his lips down her neck. “You first, sweetheart.”
Without another word, he slipped his fingers under the hem of her nightie and started sliding it up, as his mouth trailed lower, his breath hot against her skin.
“B-but the idea was to make you feel good,” she pouted, though there wasn’t much conviction behind it.
He chuckled, deep and lazy, vibrating against her skin. “Oh, trust me, sweetheart,” he murmured, dragging his lips up to her ear. “This is gonna make me feel real good.”
His fingers skimmed over her bare thighs, slipping higher, slowly and deliberately. Then he tugged the nightie over her head in one smooth motion, tossing it aside without a second thought. He leaned back just enough to take her in, pupils blown wide with hunger.
“Look at you,” he murmured, tracing a hand down her side, rough fingers ghosting over soft skin. “So damn beautiful.”
Her lips parted, her body already melting into his touch, but he wasn’t done yet.
Bucky bent slightly, gripping the backs of her thighs and effortlessly lifting her onto the counter. His hands slid up, spreading her knees apart as he stepped between them. He barely gave her a chance to breathe before his lips were on hers again, his hands gripping her thighs, keeping her close, keeping her his.
She shifted against him, pressing closer, brushing her bare skin against his, and fuck, he could lose himself in this.
In her.
After the kind of morning he had, after the things clawing at the edges of his mind, he knew he had been short with her. He hadn’t meant to be, she was one of the few good things he had since everything went to hell, and the last thing he wanted was to push her away.
And yet, she had still come to him. Still had covered him with a blanket, made sure he was comfortable and had started making dinner instead of being upset that he had shut down on her.
He didn’t deserve that. Didn’t deserve her.
Bucky exhaled against her lips, dragging his hands up her sides before dipping lower, catching the band of her panties between his fingers. “These,” he murmured, snapping the waistband lightly, “are in my way.”
She let out a breathless little laugh, lifting her hips just enough to help him. He wasted no time, sliding them down her legs, letting the fabric hit the floor before running his hands back up her thighs, spreading her open for him.
His mouth traced along her jaw, nipping at the skin just below her ear before whispering, “You really are too damn good to me, sweetheart.”
She sighed, tilting her head to let him continue his path down her neck. “Maybe,” she teased. “Or maybe you just deserve it.”
Bucky huffed, shaking his head, but he didn’t argue. Instead, he dropped to his knees.
His fingers dug into her thighs, holding her in place. He could lose himself here.
He would.
He didn’t wait for permission.
He pressed his lips to the inside of her thigh, slow and deliberate, feeling the way she shivered beneath his touch. He wanted to take his time, to savor, to make up for earlier, not just for himself. She deserved that.
One of his hands slid up, fingers spreading over her tummy, pressing gently as if to hold her steady. The other trailed lower, teasing along the sensitive skin of her inner thigh, watching with satisfaction as her breath hitched.
Then, finally, finally, he leaned in.
He flicked his tongue against her, just barely, a featherlight touch that made her jolt. He smirked, gripping her hips to keep her still, then did it again, a little firmer this time. “Fuck,” he muttered against her, voice rough with want. “You always taste so good.”
She whimpered, as her fingers found their way into his hair, nails scraping lightly against his scalp. That sent a shiver straight to his cock, and made him need to hear more of those sweet little sounds from her lips.
He licked a slow, teasing stripe up her slit, circling her clit with the tip of his tongue before pulling away just enough to blow cool air against her. The way she whined, the way her hips bucked up into his mouth, fuck, she was perfect.
He groaned, gripping her thighs as he dived back in, pressing his tongue against her pussy, stroking her just right, slipping lower to taste all of her before dragging back up to flick again her swollen, aching clit.
Her thighs clenched around his head, and he loved it. He wanted it.
He slipped a finger inside her, groaning at how warm and wet she was, at how she clenched around him, so tight and perfect. He curled it just right, adding a second, pumping them slowly, in time with the strokes of his tongue.
“Bucky-” she gasped, tightening her grip on his hair, legs trembling slightly.
That only spurred him on.
“C’mon, sweetheart,” he murmured against her, voice thick with hunger. “Let me have it.” He pleaded, suckling at her clit with intent. He didn’t stop, not until she was moaning his name, arching against him, coming undone beneath his mouth, just the way he wanted.
Her thighs instinctively closed again around his head, rolling her hips, searching, chasing his mouth as she neared that blissful edge.
Her grip on his hair was tight, almost desperate, and fuck, he loved it. Loved the way she came undone for him, loved how she let go with him.
“Bucky! oh God-”
His name tumbled from her lips, breathless, wrecked, and that was all it took. Her thighs trembled, her back arched as the pleasure crashed over her, her walls clenching his fingers tightly as she came apart.
He didn’t stop. Not yet. He worked her through it, lapping up every little aftershock, basking in the way her body pulsed, how she shuddered against him.
Only when she whimpered, overstimulated, did he finally ease up, pressing a soft, open-mouthed kiss against her inner thigh.
He looked up at her, pupils blown wide. “Think that did more for me than it did for you,” he rasped, smirking as he ran his hands over her still-trembling thighs.
She blinked down at him, dazed, as she tried to catch her breath.
Then, with a lazy, satisfied smile, she tugged at his hair. “Get up here,” she murmured. “You’re not done yet.”
“No, I’m not,” he agreed, with dark intent.
Before she could even catch her breath, his lips crashed against hers, hungry, desperate, gripping her waist almost brutishly as he pulled her off the counter. She barely had time to register the shift before he spun her around, bending her against the cool surface.
A gasp left her lips as she splayed her hands against the counter for balance.
He groaned at the sight in front of him, before running his hands down her back, over the curve of her ass, squeezing once before nudging her legs apart with his knee.
“Look at you,” he rasped, pressing his chest to her back, letting her feel every inch of him, hard and aching against her. “So fuckin’ perfect.”
He kissed the back of her neck, trailing his lips down to her shoulder as one hand slid between her legs, fingers slipping through the mess he had made.
Still soaked for him.
“Goddamn,” he muttered, as he stroked her, feeling her jolt beneath his touch.
She whimpered, shifting back against him, pressing into his fingers, wordlessly pleading for more.
Bucky smirked against her skin. “You want me inside, sweetheart?”
“Y-yes,” she gasped, pushing back against him again.
That was all he needed.
He gripped her hip with one hand, guiding himself with the other, teasing her, just barely pressing in. Then, with a low growl, he snapped his hips forward, burying himself inside her in one deep, slow thrust.
A broken moan escaped her lips, fingers gripping the counter as he stretched her, filled her, claimed her.
Bucky clenched his jaw, trying real hard to keep it together, to give her a second to adjust, but fuck, she was so warm, so tight, squeezing him just right-
Then she pushed her hips back against him, wordlessly demanding more.
And who the hell was he to deny her?
Bucky growled, and set a brutal pace, determined to make her feel every inch of his cock.
He didn’t speak.
He just took.
His hands were bruising on her hips, gripping tight enough to leave marks, using the leverage to pull her onto his cock with deep, brutal thrusts. There was no teasing, no slow buildup, just raw, desperate need, pouring out of him with every snap of his hips.
Each stroke drove her forward, and her fingers slipped against the counter as she struggled to hold herself up. The force of his movements knocked the breath from her lungs, and made her whimper and moan, leaving her body pliant beneath his.
He was relentless.
He stretched her wide, filled her with every rough thrust, dragging against that sensitive spot inside her that made her keen. Her walls clenched down around him, and he responded with a ragged, guttural groan, tightening his fingers, as his pace grew even more frenzied.
He wasn’t holding back.
The obscene slap of skin against skin filled the kitchen, mixing with her gasps, and her breathless cries. He drove into her, each movement fueled by something dark and desperate, something he couldn’t put into words.
Because right now, he wasn’t thinking about anything except how good she felt around him, how perfectly she took him, how much he needed this, needed her.
Her legs trembled, and her body arched against him, as every hard thrust sent the pleasure curling up her spine. She was close, her breaths turning into sharp, broken moans, her body tightening around him. The delicious pressure and wet heat threatened to undo him, but he gritted his teeth, determined to make this last.
He didn’t stop.
Couldn’t stop.
His rhythm turned rougher, harder, as he chased the only thing that made sense, the feeling of her falling apart beneath him. One hand snaked between her sweat-slicked thighs to rub tight, hard circles over her throbbing clit.
When she came, she practically sobbed in pleasure, throwing her head back in a silent scream. Her walls clenched around him like a silken fist, massaging his throbbing cock and pushing him dangerously close to the edge. But he wasn’t done.
Not yet.
With a growl, he kept going, wrapping one arm around her waist to hold her up as he kept fucking into her, hard and deep, determined to wring every last bit of pleasure from her wrecked body, until all she could do was take it.
The countertop creaked beneath the force of his thrusts, and her body jerked with every sharp snap of his hips like a ragdoll. She was overstimulated, so sensitive, but she took it, let him use her, let him chase his own pleasure the way he needed to.
His fingers dug into her skin again, and his pace turned erratic, desperate, sweat slicking his chest as he buried himself inside her again and again. His breath was ragged, and his jaw clenched so tight it ached, while his head swam in her intoxicating warmth, the one thing that calmed him, that kept him from spiraling.
His grip bruised as he slammed into her one last time, burying his cock deep as his body seized. His breath caught, a strangled groan escaped his throat as he spilled inside her, grinding his hips against her rear, making sure every last drop was pumped deep inside her waiting body. For a long moment, neither of them moved, and only the sound in the space was their ragged breathing.
Then, finally, Bucky exhaled, loosening his grip just enough to press his forehead to the back of her neck.
He didn’t speak.
Didn’t know what to say.
So instead, he just held her -his anchor, his salvation- until his heart stopped racing and the weight pressing down on his chest finally, finally lifted.
She stood there, trying to catch her breath, with her body still trembling as Bucky held her close, his chest rising and falling against her back. He was still nestled between her legs, slick walls cradling his spent, twitching cock.
She rested her forehead against her folded arms, as a shaky laugh escaped her lips. “Well, Buck
 that was
 something else,” she breathed out, trying to catch her breath.
Bucky huffed a quiet, almost satisfied sound. He hadn't meant to be so rough, so desperate, but something about what happened, about the way she let him have her, the way she took everything he gave, made it impossible to hold back.
“Didn’t hurt you, did I?” he finally murmured.
She smiled against her arm. “No. Far from it,” she whispered, turning her head just enough to catch his eyes, with a teasing glint. “I suspected it, but didn’t know you had that in you.”
His lips brushed the back of her neck, a quiet apology hidden in his touch. He wanted to say something, to tell her how much she meant to him, how much he needed her, but the words tangled heavily in his throat.
As Bucky carefully pulled out of her, a sharp gasp left her lips. His hands stayed on her hips, but his gaze dropped immediately to where they were still connected, to the way his cum slowly trickled down her inner thigh, glistening against her skin.
Something primal and possessive bloomed in his chest.
Before he could think twice about it, he reached down, swiping his thumb through the mess, gathering every drop before pushing it back inside her with slow, deliberate pressure.
She gasped, jolting, gripping hard at the counter. “Bucky-”
“Shhh,” he shushed, sliding his free hand up her spine, as his lips brushed the nape of her neck. “Can’t let it go to waste, sweetheart.”
Her breath came out in a shudder, and her legs shook as he pushed his thumb deeper, as if claiming her all over again.
Satisfied, he finally withdrew, fingers glistening as he traced lazy circles over her overstimulated pussy, smirking when she whimpered at the touch.
He was about to tease her -about how sensitive she was, how good she looked wrecked for him, slapping her softly- when her breathless voice cut through the haze.
“I take it as you liked the chocolates,” she teased, turning around in his arms and pressing a slow kiss to his sternum. “this was a very pleasant way of saying thanks”
His hands slid back down to her hips, gripping firmly, fingers pressing into the flesh he had spent the last half an hour worshipping. He hummed, satisfied, tilting his head as he looked down at her. “You wanted me to like ‘em, didn’t you?”
She sighed, pressing her face briefly against his chest, before pulling back just enough to cradle his face with one hand. “I’m glad you did,” she whispered.
He exhaled, leaning into her touch.
“And I’m sorry that we’re stuck here until Friday.”
His throat worked as he swallowed, flicking his gaze away for half a second before settling back on her.
“S’not your fault,” he muttered.
She pressed another kiss to his chest, right over his heart. “Still.” As she spoke, her fingers trailed up his arm, slow and deliberate, mapping the rough ridges and scarred skin that told stories of pain and survival.
Bucky tensed beneath her touch.
It was instinctive, something ingrained so deep in him he didn’t even think about it. His scars weren’t something he liked being noticed, much less touched. But she had never treated them like something to be ashamed of, never recoiled or hesitated.
And now, instead of pulling away, she leaned in, brushing her lips over the marred skin of his shoulder before playfully nipping at it.
His breath halted.
She grinned against his skin. “You know
 I still owe you that massage,” she murmured, pressing her fingers into the firm muscle of his bicep, kneading it gently.
He exhaled sharply, not in discomfort, but in something else. Something warmer. She had a way of disarming him, stripping away the self-consciousness he didn’t even realize he was holding onto.
His lips twitched, as his hands found their place on her hips again. “You’re not gonna let that go, huh?”
She hummed, dragging her lips along his shoulder, hands working their way up to his neck. “Nope.”
A soft chuckle rumbled in his chest. His tension was gone, replaced by something softer. “Alright, sweetheart,” he murmured, squeezing her hip. “Guess I’m all yours.”
She took his hand, guiding him toward the bedroom.
As they walked, Bucky’s free hand reached for the nearly empty chocolate box on the table, smiling to himself.
She raised a brow. “Still hungry?”
His little smile deepened, something dark, wicked flickering behind his eyes as he squeezed her fingers in his.
“Somethin’ like that,” he murmured, winking an eye.
She swallowed, as heat prickled at the base of her spine, suddenly very aware that whatever he had planned
 she’d be the one melting like chocolate before the night was over.
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Dividers by: @/strangergraphics
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arpicityandneed · 9 days ago
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I don’t know what this is but it’s content of sorts lol
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arpicityandneed · 10 days ago
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Do you... write... Father X Daughter Marvelcest? ;3
Depends on the pairing tbh 👀👀 pls check my pinned post for who I write for!
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arpicityandneed · 12 days ago
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my favorite fucking trope is chubby!reader living your life completely oblivious to the fact that the literal man of your dreams is in love with you and you're none the wiser.
like - you just traipse through life like "well he wouldn't like me back so it's wtv" all nonchalant and shit while the poor man is literally falling over himself trying to get it through your head that HEYYY that's not right??? i'm literally in love with you??? i worship the ground you walk on???? i'll do whatever you want????
and bless your heart, you see every single time he tries to hit on you as an act of kindness:
"awww, he got me (insert fav food here) cus i said i was hungry, what a nice guy!"
"he complimented my outfit! he must've liked the color of my shirt!"
"wow, he seems to be zoning out a lot, i hope he's okay!" (he's been staring at your lips for the past five minutes)
and he just... doesn't know what to do to make you see what he sees.
like you're so gorgeous and funny and why wouldn't he like you??
he's convinced that if he were to stand in front of you and tell you he loves you, you'd be like, "I love you too! you're such a good friend!"
(which has happened before and a little part of him died inside)
it literally takes him everything in his power to make you realize his feelings, and you just stand there for a moment, seemingly connecting the dots over the past few months, and all you can come up with is a small, dumb, "oh."
lord give him the strength.
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arpicityandneed · 12 days ago
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“
 sebastian, come on”.
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arpicityandneed · 14 days ago
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steve rogers + punching fascists in the face
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arpicityandneed · 15 days ago
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I'm thinking heavily about Daddy Dom Bucky and his sleeply little one who regresses into a ball of cuddly fluff. He can't get enough of how you rub your eyes when you wake up, the way you cling to him for cuddles during nap time, the way you are so trusting and vulnerable with him. It makes him feel needed and like he's worthy of protecting something so delicate.
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arpicityandneed · 15 days ago
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Getting blindfolded and trying to figure out who's who when Steve and Bucky play good cop bad cop 👍
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arpicityandneed · 18 days ago
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Steve, I don’t want to hurt you.
It’s all right, Bucky.
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arpicityandneed · 21 days ago
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Yamagata, Japan by Yukiko Fuyuno
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arpicityandneed · 21 days ago
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You gotta read wips. You gotta read stories that have been abandoned or haven't been updated in weeks, months, years. You have to give a story a chance even on the chance it never gets finished. The biggest reason besides personal stuff for a story to get abandoned is the lack of engagement. A comment is sometimes all it needs for a new chapter, even years later. Read that wip from 2017 that never saw the final chapter. Leave a comment that you loved it. Subscribe to the story. Sometimes you need to appreciate the things that never got finished, and perhaps make an author's day that someone loved their story despite that. Comment on wips. Comment on every chapter. It makes a difference.
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arpicityandneed · 21 days ago
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FAVORITE CHARACTER MEME: Steve Rogers + Captain America: The Winter Soldier [2/5 Movies]
“Captain America is an icon who believes in transparency and justice, not in S.H.I.E.L.D.’s preemptive strikes or Nick Fury’s attempts to save people from themselves at any cost. His values do not evolve to the fit the world. But sometimes, the world evolves to fit him.” - Marie Javins, The Art of Captain America: The Winter Soldier
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arpicityandneed · 21 days ago
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Stucky again
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And some random stuff
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arpicityandneed · 21 days ago
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arpicityandneed · 21 days ago
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steve rogers did not spend 3+ movies fucking over the government for people to completely miss the point of captain america. can't wait for sam to continue that tradition and punch the president
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arpicityandneed · 24 days ago
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Grad school is a lot but all I can think about is tutor bucky with glasses and preppy clothes bending you over your homework and fucking you stupid with his fat cock because you couldn't answer his question.
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