#I don't think he comes into the selfish part.
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There was always something unspoken between you and Viktor.
After the attack, you were certain you'd never get the chance to explore it. Find the words, hidden as they were, bring them together into something satisfactory. With smoke in your throat and blood on your tongue, you'd seen Viktor in the rubble, barely comprehended the mumble of Jayce's voice through ringing ears.
You thought then that the words would never be spoken. The sentence never brought to fruition, whatever that may mean. A ripe fruit left to rot.
And, now, with Viktor alive, weary against your headboard and awfully silent, you think again that the words are a lost cause.
"Can I see?" Is all you ask.
He raises a hand, sinewy purple accented by pure gold, and lets his robe fall loose to pool around his hips.
There's no sensuality in the way you examine him. The way you eye every curve in the dim candlelight, every meeting of gold and purple, the shade failing to find a name in your mind. The way you shuffle forwards, almost unconsciously, the way his hand finds yours when you come to straddle him. The touch is hesitant, fearful, almost. He looks to you for assurance as though weaving his fingers through yours could somehow offend.
Your free hand finds his collarbone, his chest, sinks down to his torso with a terribly gentle touch.
"Does it hurt?"
"I don't think so."
His voice, the sweet tone you've grown so accustomed to, remains intact. Changed, in a way, by a humming undertone. A simmering of something powerful present even in voice. Your hand finds his face, the pale skin beneath your palm, and the sound he makes is quiet. A mix of confusion and pleasure. Your thumb runs over his cheek, your fingers knead through his hair.
He's afraid, or something close to that. The sensation you bring to him seems to closely match the definition of fear, the uncertainty of it all. He slips his hand from yours, lets it rest instead on the curve of your waist. On skin covered by cloth. He feels it safer that way. He seems, now, to feel everything acutely at once, and yet, to feel nothing in its entirety. Apathy and passion pressed together into an amalgam of unknowns.
Your touch seems to be the only certain reality. Your quiet questions. Your deep breaths, your steady heart. He raises his hand to feel it in your chest. Encased in bone and flesh, your life, so terribly delicate against him.
The words sit heavy on your tongue. You feel almost like this is your last chance to speak, like the Viktor visiting you now is a shadow. No more quiet afternoons in the laboratory. No more shared lunches and exchanged laughs. Simplicity shattered, for better or for worse. He feels the same. You see it in his eyes, in the way his lips part, in the way his brow furrows so subtly.
"I should've said it sooner," you say, faces close, both equally enraptured by the intricacies of expression, "I care about you a lot. I should've..."
His kiss is gentle. It fills you with warmth, makes your chest feel as though it were stuffed with flowers and ginger. When you part, you watch the colours of his eyes swirl, mumble honeyed words against his lips.
It's selfish, you know. Thanking the powers that be that his life was spared, however changed it may be, however against persistence he may seem.
His face falls to the crook of your neck. You hold him like an idol, a prized possession thought lost.
And you hope, so deeply it burns, that he too can feel warmth in his chest. His hands wrap around you, the stream of something you can't begin to comprehend running through the skin, and you pray solely that he can still feel the way you do.
That the words can still find meaning in his mind.
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🌙 Moon Phases 🌙
Agatha Harkness X Fem!Reader
Word Count: 1369
Chapter 40:
You all turned to look at Billy, who grabbed his little spell book from his body bag. "At least we have our personal items."
Immediately, you rushed to check your body bags, all bearing similar expressions of relief by being reunited with your pendants.
You wore your own necklace, the light metal cold against your flushing skin, and adrenaline still coursing through your pumping veins. Your fingers gently brushed the three moon phases, and you closed your eyes, taking a deep breath.
Wearing it, somehow, made you feel more secure and safe; a placebo effect that helped calm you down a little more and allow your head to be clearer.
The moment was interrupted, though by the sound of the morgue drawers being pulled back into place, the knocking sound almost startling you.
If that was not enough, the growing lights above you started to flicker before one shut down.
"The countdown," you exclaimed, eyes following the circle formed by the lights; while wondering how quick each light would turn off after the other.
Deep inside your instincts were telling you that the time would not last long, not as long as the other trials.
Agatha noticed that Jen was rather quiet, not panicking like usual. Instead, Agatha swore Jen was actually thinking of something for a change.
"You seem relaxed." She called her out. "Usually, at this point, you're either complaining loudly or freaking out loudly."
Jen gave her a hard look, clearly not in the mood for her annoying antics. "I'm thinking."
"Oh. About what?
"How to save your ass."
"Pardon?"
"I couldn't save Lilia. I didn't even try to save Alice. I'll be damned if I let you three idiots die."
You placed a hand on your waist as you looked at her, clearly not happy being called an Idiot or any of your companions being called that.
However, you held back any remark for the moment. It was the first time you saw Jen actually putting others above herself, when all those trials she had been selfish and the first to go when given the chance.
And considering you once again needed to work together somehow to make it through, this worked in your favour.
Of course, Agatha did not seem to share your thoughts.
"Wow. Such a purpose. How are you gonna do that without any magic?" She questioned, in the mood for an argument.
"Agatha, that's enough," you said, no authority coming from your voice much to your dismay.
Your body was still on edge, and it was taking a lot of mental training to remain calm and try to think of a solution, rather than letting your emotions and your haunting memories get the best of you.
Thankfully, you were not the only one ready to defend Jen.
"Y/N is right!" Billy said, putting his foot down. "She saved you from poisoning. She saved all of us. All while bound." He looked at Jen and offered a weak smile. "Maybe you don't need it."
Jen wanted to believe him, but she had a hard time too. Not that you blamed her. Your magic might be sort of a curse and a blessing to you, but you can not imagine your life without it.
"Well, if that's true, that means I've wasted the last century of my life." Jen commented. "That doctor in Boston didn't take anything from me. I gave it up."
It was then that you all noticed Agatha fidgeting faintly by tuning her fingers together and avoiding eye contact.
Unlike the others, you knew she acted that way when she knew something but refused to tell. Something that actually made her feel guilty, even slightly.
"Ags," you called her out, but she did not look you in the eyes. "You know something," she was about to argue, but you beat her to it. "I know that face and that fidgeting. I know what it means"
Defeated, Agatha started to throw parts of a story that matched Jen's story, and everyone made the connection.
"I didn't know it was you! It was the 1920s. I did the odd spell for bank notes. I don't know. The patriarchy really shelled out to shush a lady. It was bind or burn!" She justified herself, or so she tried.
For Jen was furious finding out the truth, and she had every right to be. With anger blinding her, she rushed to Agatha and even pulled a thick lock of her hair in one strong pull.
Agatha didn't even flinch at the pull, having built quite a pain tolerance thanks to Rio. She didn't even fight when Jen tied her wrists together with that strand of hair.
She might not react to it, but you were about to. No matter what took place back then, seeing Jen ripping out Agatha's hair like that made your protective instincts hit in.
Forgetting your own anxiety caused by the closed room, you were about to move and tackle Jen; having forgotten your powers worked normally.
Billy grabbed you by the waist and kept you back, surprised by your strength, considering he was taller than you and clearly heavier.
"Wait! Wait! Look!" He told you as he kept pulling you away from the two witches. "Yhe unbinding ritual."
This made you stop your fighting and look, realizing he was right. The strand of hair and the wrapped wrists were the basis for the ritual.
Jen was not trying to harm Agatha, you realized. She was trying to break the binds that kept her magic dormant and get back what was sealed away a century ago.
You calmed down, and Billy let you go. He stood right behind you, and the two of you watched as Jen repeated the same mantra again and again.
You hold nothing.
You hold nothing.
You hold nothing.
Each time that phrase was spoken with more power, with mode determination... with more need to work.
Jen's voice cracked, but she kept going, holding on every beat of hope that was left within her... one last chance to get back what was stolen from her.
In the end, it seemed to work based on Jen's expression.
Her face changed from shock to realisation and she could not help but fall on her knees, arms cradled in front of her chest and let out gasps and faint cries of hapiness; pink magic coming alive from her palms.
The sight broke your heart, seeing how Jen truly felt finally having her magic back.
Magic for witches was their essence, their core, and their will to live. It was part of them and having it sealed away, unable to sense it... to recreate this feeling of power and mysticism that existed within...
It was a fate worse than death.
Suddenly, Jen disappeared right in front of your eyes.
"What?" You exclaimed and rubbed your eyes, fearing your mind was playing tricks with you.
"Where did she go?" Billy asked next.
"Out of here," Agatha replied in a soft tone, deep down actually feeling happiness for Jen; capable of actually taking back what she was looking for.
You frowned. "But we are not done with the trials, yet"
Agatha looked at you, her gaze softening. "She is done with it. Her trial has already passed, and she got what she wanted."
You felt the need to argue but stopped yourself. The Road was a place unknown, and not even you or Agatha or Rio knew much about it. Each time it worked differently, each time seemed to make up something new.
So, who says the trials were not shortened? Or perhaps, it was giving a chance for some to find what they are looking for and be free without having to finish the road.
This was a comforting thought, deep down wanting to end this and get out.
The fact remained, though, how were you going to find what you are looking for? When you pretty much had nothing to work with and unlike Jen; there was no binding whatsoever that could be broken.
Chapter 41
#agatha all along#agatha fanfic#agatha harkness x reader#moon phases fanfic#agatha x reader#kathryn hahn#agatha spoilers#agatha harkness#aubrey plaza#marvel#lesbian#billy maximoff#jennifer kale
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Rebound search- cut scene
In the latest part of the pining Mario series, there was a scene I began to write where Mario and Mr Puzzles would go to the movie and accidentally hold hands and all that junk. However, I decided to cut it out because it wasted too much time and was mostly a whole load of nothing.
Anyway, here is that cut scene:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mario thought to himself for a moment before his face lit up with an idea. He turned to Puzzles.
"Hey! We don't-a need to base today on some silly romance movies. The people in them are clearly stupid and boring if those are the type of locations they meet their true love." He gestured to the notepad for emphasis, "We should pick somewhere entirely new! Somewhere that no silly romance character has ever met their love interest."
Mr Puzzles looked at Mario with curiosity; a confused smile appearing on his screen.
"Okay then... did you have anywhere in mind?" He asked.
Mario froze. His mind went blank and his face buffering as he tried to think of at least ONE place they could go to meet someone.
Meeting someone. That was the goal of this whole thing wasn't it? Mario knew this and he wasn't intending on skewing from Mr Puzzles' plan; but so far, his feelings for the TV hadn't changed in the slightest. If anything, they had only grown stronger! Going shopping, having lunch, spending time alone- just the two of them, talking, laughing... Mario was having an amazing time with Mr Puzzles.
The Italian turned to take in the sight of the TV standing in front of him, looking down at him expectantly.
"Well? Where do you suggest we go?" He asked again.
Mario snapped out of his thoughts and stammered.
"Uhh... w-we should go..."
The, already small, logical side of his mind desperately tried to think of a place where he could actually meet someone new. Somewhere that would allow him to finally move on from the TV and see him as nothing more than a friend. That would be the healthy thing for him to do.
Unfortunately, Mario was anything BUT healthy.
He was just too tempted by the prospect of him and Puzzles spending more time together! Selfish as it may be, he didn't want to move on. At least, not right now. Mario just wanted to enjoy what little time he had alone with Mr Puzzles. Even if it was just platonic.
"W-we should go to the movie theatre!!" Mario declared with false confidence.
Mr Puzzles gave him an odd look, tilting his head slightly as he stared at the Italian, dumbfounded.
"Why would we go there? The whole point of a movie theatre is to sit in silence and not talk to anyone. That doesn't seem like a great place to meet someone."
Mario looked around nervously as he tried to come up with some sort of half-assed explanation as to why the movie theatre was actually a great place for meeting new people!
"Well, err- Mario thinks the movies will be a good place to go because... Mario really likes TV! We already know this and the movie theatre is really just one big TV screen that everyone watches! Plus, there's food which Mario also likes so that means that whoever is at the movie theatre has lots-a in common with Mario!"
Mario gave Puzzles a nervous smile, hoping that he wouldn't detect the uncertainty in his tone or notice the sweat beading at his forehead.
Puzzles' eyes narrowed as he looked down at the shorter man, seemingly trying to read his expression. A deafening silence fell over them before eventually, Mr Puzzles spoke up.
"Alright then..." he said cautiously.
Mario's face lit up and without thinking, he grabbed Mr Puzzles' hand and began to lead him to the movies.
Only once they had arrived did Mario properly register the fact that he and Puzzles had their fingers intertwined. He hurriedly let go, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he looked away, a light blush on his cheeks.
Once he had calmed down Mario cleared his throat, "Uh... so what movie would you like to see?" He asked, smiling nervously at the taller man.
Puzzles glanced down at him and let out a huff.
"Mario, we're not here for the leisure of seeing a movie. Look around! See who's here on their own and what they're going to watch. Then simply buy us tickets to the same movie." Puzzles explained.
He looked around, trying to wean out anyone who was there alone. His attention darted to the digital ticket booth where a man had just began selecting a movie. Puzzles grinned, grabbing Mario by his shoulders and spinning him in the direction of the man.
"There! See? There's someone. Go over to him, talk to him, then get us tickets to the same movie. I'll get us some snacks."
Mario was unsure as he looked between Puzzles and the stranger he was supposed to approach. Was this really the best way to go about this?
"Mario doesn't think that-"
"Just trust me Mario. This is going to be your best chance at meeting someone at the movies." He crouched down to Mario's level, looking him in the eyes with that screen; and Mario thought it was just oh so pretty.
"You want to move on from your feelings don't you?"
The question was meant to be rhetorical. Mario knew this. But as he stared deeply into Mr Puzzles' hypnotic screen, he found himself getting lost in the bright colours and captivating shapes. The question repeated in his mind as he mindlessly gazed into Puzzles' digital eyes.
Does he want to move on?
Mario wasn't sure anymore. These feelings were so confusing. One minute he hated them, the next, he was eternally grateful to have them. One minute he wanted to do nothing but wallow in a ball of self pity, then he'd be enthusiastically following Puzzles to the ends of the earth. The love he held for the TV had been putting him through hell these past few months but now, being alone with the man, Mario had just forgotten about all of the pain and anguish he felt over him. And all he could think about was how good it felt to be in his presence.
"Well I'm afraid this is going to be your best chance of moving on."
Puzzles voice snapped Mario out of his daydream and brought him back to reality. He blinked, slightly dazed before sighing.
"Okay..." he said.
Mr Puzzles smiled and stood up, making his way to the snacks whilst Mario watched him leave. He eyes remained fixed if the TV man for just a moment before he turned around to go and buy their tickets.
As Mario approached the digital ticket booth, he saw that the man Mr Puzzles had spotted earlier was finishing off his purchase. Mario hopped over his shoulder to get a peek at which movie he was here to see.
Lady and the Tramp
Mario mentally scoffed. Of course. Rerun day. Every so often, the cinema reran old movies decades after they first aired. It was stupid in Mario's opinion but what did he know?
Mario pushed aside his opinions and instead mentally prepared himself to talk to the man in front of him. This is what Puzzles asked him to do after all.
The Italian took a deep breath and was about to make conversation with the stranger before he was suddenly met with an overpowering stench. Mario shut his mouth instantly and scrunched his face in displeasure.
This guy STANK!
My god did he even know what a shower was??? Mario probably wasn't one to judge but that didn't stop him. There was no way he was going to talk to this stinky loser.
Eventually, the guy left and Mario bought two tickets for Lady and the Tramp. Even if he wasn't planning on talking to that guy, the movie could be pretty good! He just needed to make sure he got seats that were far away from him.
#smg4#smg4 fanfiction#smg4 marware#Marware#mr puzzles x mario#pining mario series#marware fanfiction
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Interesting enough, I don’t think Jinx really dehumanizes her enemies.
Or that’s not true.
She does dehumanize her enemies, we do see that, it’s just not to the same degree as others do it. Because really, it isn’t so much a matter of Jinx not seeing her enemies as human, but more so she doesn’t care if they are – because they’re all “human.”
Morality and the ideas of good and bad aren’t factors for Jinx. Not really.
She doesn’t justify her actions in the same way other characters do, largely because Jinx is very much on her own side and that’s all the justification she needs for herself; it’s not all that complicated for her, because why would it be?
A good comparison would be Caitlyn and her utter disbelief and horror that people would dare attack a memorial – because who would do such a thing? Who would be so evil and immoral? They’re animals. They’re monsters.
But let’s say there was a memorial for Silco –
Caitlyn would 100% attack it to get to Jinx without batting an eye, because Silco and Jinx are the bad guys, they're morally evil, and obviously attacking Silco's memorial wouldn’t even be close to the same thing as someone attacking her mother’s memorial service.
Her doing it to her enemy is justified, but someone doing it to her loved one could never be justified… because of valid reasons.
Jinx on the other hand, would be furious at someone for attacking Silco’s hypothetical memorial but that’s only because he was HER loved one. Noone crossed some hypothetical moral line; they just crossed her so obviously she’s going to try and brutally murder them.
Jinx is overall very selfish and bias towards herself, so while we can see a double-standard in her thinking, oddly enough (at least for me) it doesn’t feel hypocritical.
Like, Jinx wouldn’t ask who would attack a memorial service, because she definitely would.
She would absolutely care about Silco’s and not give a damn about her enemies – because Silco is her loved one and those are her enemies – it’s as simple as that. There is no good or bad, it's just whether you're her person or not.
And as I'm writing this part out now it's just occurred to me why we see more of Jinx's double-standards and even hypocrisy when it comes to Vi specifically – because Vi is both Jinx's loved one and her enemy.
In regards to Vi and the chem-tanks, she would absolutely be thrown and very upset if some kid came in and cried over their dead parent’s body. Because now the chem-tank she just killed is as real and as human as she is.
Which arguably could be why Vi goes so hard in "Jinx is not my sister" and "that monster killed my sister," because if Jinx is indeed her sister (she is) then her enemy isn't someone she can dehumanize or disassociate her violence from, because it's her sister���
With Jinx though, I don't really see her caring or being moved by her enemy's child crying over their body. I mean maybe, she is Jinx and full of surprises. But I doubt it…
It’s not that Jinx doesn’t dehumanize others, it’s more so – they’re all monsters - including her. Being a monster isn’t good or bad – it’s just what they all are.
It was hard to put into words what I was thinking, so I don’t know if I made much sense here, but hopefully I did.
“Never thought [my sister] would orphan children.”
*Stares at Vi*
*Stares at Powder’s grenades*
*Stares back at Vi*
*Gestures wildly towards Powder’s grenades*
Vi sweetie, you encouraged her. You expected them to work one day. It didn't occur to you she could possibly kill someone who was a parent?
Don’t get me wrong, Powder wasn’t some violent, blood hungry kid, but also...
Violet she was making fucking bombs!!!
Like @embershroud108 has said many times, Vi has become fixated on an idealized version of Powder that never existed.
Though I do genuinely think when they were younger, she didn’t consider the full ramifications of the possibility of Powder killing people, because why would she? She was an angry, young teenager.
She also wasn't going to really care about those people, because those would’ve been her enemies too, so they wouldn’t have “counted” so to speak.
But seriously Vi, how do you know the chem-tanks you've killed weren't parents?
I mean it's almost like anyone, despite how monstrous they are to you or your side, can be someone else's loved one.
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You know, it always puzzled me a little when people talked about the Beauty and the Beast story... And everyone pointed out that the prince is turned into a Beast because he is vain and selfish. Which, I never understood because I didn't remember that. (What's more, I NEVER saw the entire Beauty and the Beast movie. Don't ask "why" because I don't know.) Now, after years, I realized why.
The story I grew up with didn't say that. This version of the fairy tale was different and had the witch as a capricious woman.
The prince in this version let the witch into his castle to take refuge from the cold. When the blizzard ends and the witch retreats. But not before giving the prince a gift for his hospitality. Which was a very beautiful rose. He refuses her gesture of gratitude and she becomes angry. He gets so angry that he curses him, turning him into a beast. Destroyed by this, the prince locks himself in his castle. Becoming a hermit, bitter and resentful. He becomes like this because he is bitter that they turned him into a monster just for doing a selfless action. What Bella does in this version is help him open his heart again and it is this warmth that helps break the spell.
I mean... In this version, which was in the teacher's book that my grandmother had, the only bad one was the witch. And I grew up with this moral of life of "You must be careful who you are kind to because not everyone will return your kindness." So I don't know how to feel 😂
#yes this came out because I read a post by eah where they talked about Rosabella and Daring#I think this version of the fairy tale would fit Daring more#I know he's quite vain and self-centered but he's a pretty good prince.#I don't think he comes into the selfish part.#He has helped on the occasions when he was asked for help.#Yes it is true that he did it without taking his face out of the mirror but it still helped#I'm also aware that part of epic winter is showing us that he was in a bad place#So you have been seeking refuge in something safe like your vanity.#It is understood#But they tried to sell us that he was always like that#Which is not so#Oh well#Enough#I went around the bush and this seemed really long#ever after high#the beauty and the beast#daring charming#rosabella beauty
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so, do we think that kaiser has an accurate picture of the mother who he's never met and who he (presumably) primarily gets information about from his abusive father who has nursed a grudge against her for years, or do we think there's more to this story?
#bolo liveblogs#blue lock#bllk#the ''we'' here is rhetorical. I am saying that I think there's more to this story.#speaking generally when it comes to abusive parents the abuse is not limited to their children. it's part of a broader pattern of behavior#that comes out with anyone they can get away with terrorizing. this often includes romantic partners/spouses.#and the specific detail that she was an actress under his employ would be suspicious even without confirmation of how horribly he treats#people he has power over (such as a child).#I don't know. I think she saw his violent side and chose to leave.#and even if she did leave for ''selfish'' reasons and not just to protect herself I wouldn't hold it against her.#that being said I wouldn't be surprised if kaiser (who didn't have the agency to leave the man she saw was violent)#absolutely did hold it against her. and coming from him it would be fair!
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so like. hypothetically if you were in some kind of group and a new person joined and said they remember knowing you like a decade ago but you don't remember them, how well would you take it if they suddenly came up to you a couple of weeks later and said "hey, I know you said you don't remember me and my memory is pretty fuzzy too but I think I was kinda of a dick to you sometimes and I feel like I owe you an apology for that"?
#i am not sure what to do#bc like. I don't think I was very nice to him!#he'd just come and sit and talk w us at lunch sometimes and like#we treated him like an annoyance#(which makes me a fucking hypocrite on top of it all!!!)#but like if he doesn't remember would it be weird to apologise anyway???#part of me feels like it might be selfish???#to say sorry to make myself feel better#even if it makes things weird for him??#yknow???????#Jamie's chitchat
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Im not a fan of every argument made here on either side, so first I'll get a few things out of the way;
1, that abuse victims often go on to be abusers themselves if they don't put in the work necessary to heal from their own abuse, that's what people are talking about when they refer to the CYCLE of abuse. To deny that is... Also uncomfortable. Being a victim of abuse does not make you exempt from abusing other people. 2, I wish we'd stop equating toxic with abusive because there is a difference. 3, i don't think autistic coding is really a fair defense of said toxic traits I'm gonna be real. There's nothing wrong with headcanons and projection but just to focus on what actually happened in the series without using headcanon to excuse harmful behavior. I don't know what traits are being referred to as "autistic coded" here so honestly I'm not gonna touch that with a ten foot pole and just focus on what we see;
Its hard for people to accept, but abuse does not happen on accident. Abuse is an intentional choice one makes. And over all, no, Ford isn't abusive. He, throughout the series and due to a combination of his self-centeredness and being a victim of abuse (hell, his self-centeredness was weaponized against him as part of the abuse) was absolutely toxic for most of the time we've seen him.
The argument that he abused Fiddleford is so stupid I'm not even going to acknowledge it. The thing with Stan is, he frankly wasn't around him enough to actually abuse him. A one time event is not abuse. A single fight is not abuse. Abuse is long and drawn out and, as I said earlier, intentional. And, like what was already pointed out, Ford was in a bad state. He'd reached the point of Bill going fully mask off, so to speak, and the abuse now being at it's worst. He was fully isolated and sleep deprived and it made him crazy. Yes, his unwillingness to destroy the journals was deeply selfish and another mark of how self-centered he is. It's the definition of irrational. But, once again, he wasn't in a spot where he could think rationally. (Granted, even if he was, I still don't think he would've been willing to destroy the journals because his self importance and self centeredness is one of his biggest flaws and an important part of his character)
The closest Ford ever comes to being abusive is, yes, with dipper. He starts telling him a lot of the same things we know Bill told him at the start of their partnership; you're special, we need each other, these other people are only holding you back. Nobody understands you like I do. When Dipper expresses concern for Mabel, Ford is immediately dismissive. He looks at Dipper and all he sees is himself, and all he sees in Mabel is Stan. He is the one who pushed that dichotomy, because he really couldn't think outside of himself.
His greatest flaw is that he's self centered and self obsessed. But the thing is, is that he learns his lesson. It takes literal apocalypse to get there, but he does learn and he does reflect and he does apologize and try to do better. He course corrects. Gravity falls, ultimately, is about family bonds and breaking the cycle of abuse. Ford almost continued that cycle with Dipper, but he stopped before any permanent damage could be done, both to their relationship, and to Dipper and Mabels. He fixed his relationship with Stan.
He did in fact have abusive tendencies and toxic traits but ultimately he put in the work to fix them and be better. Ford is a well written and well balanced character. He displays how someone even with good intentions can unintentionally fall back into cruel and toxic habits, and can start repeating the abuse they were put through. He also shows that you can come back from that. That starting down that path doesn't mean you have to stay there. That it's possible to heal and get better.
None of what I'm saying is an indictment of Ford's character. The opposite: he is complex and well written and imperfect, and I love him and his character arc. He could've been so easily made into an irredeemable villain, a no good bastard who's just horrible and abusive. He had all those pieces laid out. But the choice and skill to actually have him go through the motions of falling into abusive tendencies and then getting better is amazing on Alex Hirsch's part, and a testament to his ability to write deep and complex characters.
(also this is just kind of my own aside but the use of "autistic-coded" as like an excuse for how a character acts is really annoying to me for a number of reasons? For one, just off the bat, it's an attempt to make your headcanon sound more canon than it is, but by nature of being a headcanon, it's not really a fair or valid argument here. Second, there are ways to make a legitimate argument and analysis of a characters actions in canon and debate criticisms of their actions without saying "they're autism coded so actually you must hate autistic people", like it's okay, you're allowed to make a legitimate argument. Also, "character did shitty thing because they're autistic" isn't the win you think it is, because let's be real, you're either implying that they have no autonomy over their actions because of their autism, or that you think autism makes people shitty or toxic, neither of which is the win you think it is. Ironically lack of media literacy applies in both cases here, just for different reasons. Okay side rant over, just wanted to throw that out there because holy hell it's something that is used so much in fandom and it gets grating after a while.)
The tldr here is that Ford isn't an abuser. He was abused, he had toxic and abusive traits, but he put in the work to heal and better himself. He's by no means perfect and that's okay, he's a good character, and he's actually trying to be better.
Today in "I hate autistic-coded abuse victims", this shitty take.
Ford did not abuse Stan. He did not abuse Fiddleford. He did not try to drive a wedge in Dipper and Mabel's relationship (he was doing what he thought was best for Dipper and thought Mabel would be fine).
Just admit you hate autistic people and have no compassion for abuse victims. And admit you have no media literacy.
Also, calling a canonical abuse victim an abuser is...uncomfortable, to say the least. Especially with how you're just making him out to be abusive for...not handling personal interactions perfectly. You're demonizing autistic traits. And you need to research how abuse can effect people.
(Also, I know Ford's not perfect. But you don't seem to know that he's flawed but ultimately a good person. You just want a "perfect victim" when it comes to abuse victims, and it's obvious)
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also veritas and i are on a first name basis now partially because his last name is fucking stupid and i hate calling him "ratio" but mostly because after poking at his character a bunch i've decided i like him quite a lot LMFAO
#tch... bastard. grew on me.#it was realizing nous ignores him because he has too many ties to humanity that he's not willing to let go of for the pursuit of Knowledge#he loves people too much. he cares too much about the development and well-being of humans#shit like what chadwick did? building that weapon that would completely wipe out DOZENS of planets and he KNEW it would?#but choosing to continue building it in pursuit of knowledge and his own selfish ambitions and curiosities?#veritas would have quit. violently.#i think somewhere in his character stories it implies he did attempt to set aside his morals to do something similar but it's just like.#such an intrinsic part of who he is. no matter what he tries his love and care and passion hold him back in nous' eyes#so they continue to ignore him.#isn't it better to be ordinary anyway... you lose something important in the process of becoming extraordinary don't you?#i think he's come to this << realization since giving up on drawing nous' gaze and he's more at peace with the whole thing#he's a jerk but at the same time. not really? idk#very intriguing guy. also there's a certain gap moe that appeals to me too#via the rubber ducks and the surprisingly Very silly poses he carves his sculptures in#the latter speaks to like... a playfulness and a sense of humor. that he's never gotten the chance to really indulge in#just as a result of how much everyone expects from him and what he now expects from himself. no time for play... :(
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"I think it's especially interesting how he considered himself to be at his most "beautiful" once he'd gone taboo. It wasn't about his actual appearance. It was about breaking from the confines of his old body, which lacked the strength to take on the Composer and could never see him through to his ultimate dream of usurping Joshua's position and shaping Shibuya to his own desires. The power he possessed and the violence it allowed him to exert was really an artform in itself. Beauty for him, I think, is in the freedom to shape oneself to their most extravagant desires, which implies a lot about what he might've been like as Composer. Of course, the tragic downside to the actual, physical state of his body tying very little into his sense of worth is how willing he is to tear it apart over and over again to achieve his goals. Very shrewdly mathematical of him."
bro i am metaphorically kissing you on the mouth. you get it. you UNDERSTAND. he uses his body as just another addition to his latest opus. "freedom to shape oneself to their most extravagant desires" is so real, and also "following one's wishes" which is why i think that he gets along with konishi at the end of OG where he says that he zetta digs her style, because she's following her selfish desires to the end and he finds that beautiful. or how he smirks about rindo factoring out how his time travel works, allowing him to manipulate time to his desires. i think that the interest in trash says a lot too. he thinks that anything can be beautiful, no matter how much others view as garbage, because it can be a canvas when heaped together.
"implies a lot about what he might've been like as Composer"
personally i think that people over-exaggerate the whole "he would've turned shibuya into a trashpile!" because we see him capable of supporting OTHER PEOPLE in this too. i think that he would hate anything that homogenized shibuya, even himself. he wouldn't want everyone acting exactly like him or whatever. that doesn't make interesting material for art. instead he'd want to see everyone pursuing their selfish desires with hierarchies ripped apart
^For context I'm pretty sure this is the post anon is referring to
Hehe thanks :] I think specifically his interest in trash is fun because you're really able to take it in different directions based on what you want to get out of his character. "he thinks that anything can be beautiful, no matter how much others view as garbage, because it can be a canvas when heaped together" is one super cool interpretation! I also think that you could take it in a direction where he has a more negative worldview, and his "The world is garbage!" schtick is more about him believing that there is something deeply wrong with the world he is living in and only he can fix it, which could provide a motivation for why he wants to become the Composer. There's no one "right" way to interpret Sho which makes him really fun to write about, you can really do whatever you want with him. Which makes me even more frustrated with how hard it is to replicate his mathspeak...sigh
#trying this cool new thing where I actually respond to asks#also I already talked about how I think he'd be as a Composer in the last ask so I'm gonna pass over that part#BUT I agree with you on how he would hate anything that would homogenize Shibuya#personally I think he took Hanekoma's 'do whatever you want when you want as much as you want' advice a little TOO close to heart#terrible message btw hanekoma. thanks so much.#he would totally encourage the people under him to endlessly pursue their selfish desires regardless of the impact it has on others#a sort of 'every man for himself' mentality#I really like the idea of him getting the same talk from hanekoma as neku and interpreting it in a completely different and destructive way#no I don't dislike hanekoma btw#I think he's flawed and that his dynamic with sho is inherently an absolute trainwreck#he would throw him under the bus in a heartbeat for the good of shibuya and while sho's awful in og twewy and certainly has#a lot of things coming to him#he still must have trusted hanekoma to some degree and felt betrayed by him#this coming hot off the heels of megumi giving up his location to neku and josh on W2D7 so that they could jump him#are they wrong to do so? not really. but I doubt sho's seeing it that way#minamimoto
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Classic Who explores ideas, New Who explores morals
classic who is like 'i see this trend, lets explore what might happen if that trend continues and let the audience figure out what it's talking about and come to their own conclusions.'
new who is like 'this trend is BAD and i'm going to PREACH A SPEECH about why it's going to RUIN EVERYTHING' and it's so much more exhausting
#wren rambles#doctor who#this brought on by me watching orphan 55#which had SUCH a fun concept#and then absolutely FACEPLANTED with the doctor moralizing at the end#like yes doctor who has ALWAYS explored topical and political issues#but never is there a definitive I Am Telling You This Is Right message#whereas now I just had to sit here and watch 13 preaching at me?#ughghg#explore the idea but don't shove it down my throat#classic who had an episode (Ice Warriors) exploring climate change as one aspect of the story#talking about how all the plants were removed and that messed with the atmosphere etc.#but that was just a SMALL PART of the whole episode and it was never outright condemned (it was made clear it was BAD and the root problems#but that was never the BIG ISSUE the Doctor Lectured His Companions about) (not that victoria or jamie could do anything lol)#plus this feeds into my issues with 13's run (which started during 12's somewhat but less so)#where the Doctor is painted as the Narratively Right one#where when she says something that's what the narrative wants you to BELIEVE#which coming from Two and Three's run is WILD#because Two is chaotic and murderous when he thinks he's right#and he's manipulative and deceptive at times#and Three is selfish and pouty and rude#and don't get me wrong Thirteen has her issues and I lvoe them#HOWEVER. she's pretty much always RIGHT she's the Word Of God when it comes to moral things#and this more than anything is my biggest issues with Modern Who#mostly 12 and 13's eras#so i hope we move out of that somewhat in the new era but i'm not super holding up hopes (especially after star beast)#maybe one day i'll write a proper full article about it but GOSH#i don't watch this show to be preached at. I watch it for a fun/tragic scifi romp and also to see interesting ideas explored#and reflect the climate of the world and how society influences media#explore the idea of climate change turning the world into a post apocalypse! that's such a fun idea and topical!
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daisuke being self-effacing while dark is lucifer coded and likewise exemplifies pride as his greatest sin (and virtue) 👍
#i just think it's neat#when i talk about dark or daisuke's independence i don't mean them being -alone- either. i mean them being able to#make firm. confident choices and decisions for themselves w/o being swayed by outside influence. being able to step forward#without collapsing in the face of grief or setbacks. dark n daisuke can both be very strong when it comes to that sort of thing#while still trying to pull up. support. if not collect others#it's fun how dnangel reverses things. there's no 'hell' that dark drags people into even if he's meant to be a lucifer figure#yes his birth caused an art-apocalypse and yes his betrayal created havoc for the per-ordained 'order' of the hikari/their creators#but dark himself is still ultimately a protectorate figure. he collects what the hikari otherwise destroy and dispose of#for dark things like rejection and rebellion become virtues for as long as he rejects what legitimately#isn't right and causes other people or himself senseless pain#it rlly pushes up the 'noble' part of his character#its Neat!!!#dark can be callous he can be selfish he can be immensely arrogant thanks to his pride#but at the same time it's the same quality that others find solace and security in- like daisuke#*・゚⊰ 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒. ⊱ ✦ › OUT.
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On of the less intuitive things about love, I've found, of any kind, is the importance of needing things.
I didn't realize it until recently, but I've always seen love as something requiring sacrifice, selflessness, patience, and generosity- to ask for nothing is to be the best person I can be, small and quiet and never in the way, always happy and helpful, self-sufficient and present when desired.
It's only as an adult, now, that I'm beginning to see the selfishness of wanting nothing.
I cut my friend's hair in my kitchen the other day. They wanted a trim and I had the skills, so I offered, and was genuinely excited when they stopped hesitating over "bothering me" and took me up on it. It was a peaceful afternoon, and we had tea and chatted for an hour or more.
My brother and I shared popcorn at the movies a while ago. When I came time to pay, I pulled my card out like a wild western sheriff and slapped it on the machine before he could fight me for it first. The satisfaction was delightful.
Someone called me crying on the phone the other day. Kept apologizing for disturbing me at work, talking about how they were bothering me on my lunch break. I was telling the truth when I told them that really, I was flattered and honored and relieved, knowing that if they were hurting I would know, that I didn't have to worry in silence. It felt good to hear them slowly come down, and to know that they knew it would be better soon, and to hear them laugh wetly on the other end. We're getting together for a visit next week.
It's hard to need things, if you've trained yourself not to. It's hard to want things, when you don't know how to want anymore. Trusting people is difficult, and so is relying on them, but I don't know where I'd be without the people who rely on me.
I've heard a lot of people say, "Nobody will love you unless you love yourself". I've had a lot of thoughts about it. It's not right, but it's not wrong, either, I think.
"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... I've always taken that to mean, "You will not be lovable until you develop a positive view of yourself as a person".
Now, I think it's sort of inside-out.
"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... because nobody can show their love to you in a way that you can accept until you treat yourself kindly, and learn what you need, and what you want, and how to ask for it, and then give that vulnerability away.
Love, for me, is someone I ask for a ride to the airport. Whether they end up doing this or not is irrelevant.
It's not needy, or selfish, or taking up energy. It's giving the gift of being wanted, and needed, and thought of. It's giving someone the security of being part of someone's life.
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i think it would be less that even doesn't have a moral compass anymore after All That Shit and more that they just. need it to be re-calibrated a little bit. their ability to tell right from wrong got a bit fucked up in the need to survive a little longer, and if you just put them in a slightly healthier environment, they would figure it out.
#and separate them from the master. that's also essential.#even is kind of. easily influenced? which was a. well. mostly a Good Thing when their influence was coming from the doctor & co.#and much less good when their influence is coming from miss 'dissolving people for fun and profit'#and obviously then: there are things even could be convinced to do if it meant surviving.#things that they could not be influenced towards in any other situation because they *would* recognize it as wrong.#and it's. im saying even has killed a man. and possibly more. and per doctor who's party line: that fucks you up forever :)#im just spitballing ideas around rn to figure out how to fit even into 12's seasons and put them with missy for fun#and. the thing is. the thing is. i don't think they would have a problem with the cyberman plan.#(i think. in a way. the idea of cybermen is unfortunately appealing to even (<- guy who is feeling Too Much Always and remembers how much#easier it was to just have a job and do the job and be the job)#and this also contributes to it.)#but that plan. give the doctor an army and he can protect the whole universe if he just accepts it. missy wants that for selfish reasons.#to prove a point. but even. if presented with it that way. would want it for their own selfish reasons.#fresh off the trauma horse - even just wants there to be no more hurt. they want the doctor to come save everyone. they want the doctor to#fix it all. which is an old part of them that survived.#again just spitballing this is all preliminary thoughts trying to figure it out#but it really boils down to. if the only people you knew were constant in the universe were someone you knew you could rely on to fuck#everyone over to get what she wants. and someone who you believed would take any opportunity to just save as many people as possible.#wouldn't you end up trusting. that plan would come together. and nothing would have to hurt anymore.#and then. of course. it doesn't.#dw oc
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unrequited tddk is about the emotional infidelity. and i know what you're thinking, "oh from shouto's end right? cause he's can't ever get over izuku and it bleeds into every single romantic relationship he has?" no!!! from izuku's end. izuku who is very much not in love with shouto but can't seem to stop the weird Closeness that they have. izuku sitting in shouto's lap even though he has a boyfriend. izuku staying up all night with shouto bc shoucchan just gets it guys!! we understand each other. izuku getting sick and the one thing he asks for is shouto much to the chagrin of his boyfriend. izuku who remains willfully oblivious to the situation because if he acknowledges it then he'll have to let shouto go and that is the one thing he cannot do. izuku who wasn't loved by his peers growing up and now that he has someone who Gets him like nobody else, he's not letting go.
#100% izk is mean like this#you don't understand#this is like the first fic idea i ever really sat down to write#like years ago#and i did write parts of it but i could never get it to come out the way i wanted it to#so now im turning it over to y'all#anyway in my story the boyfriend is bakugo#and bakugo fucking hates how close they are. like truly despises it but he can't even say anything cause izk refuses to acknowledge it#and like “ffs izuku can you let that poor man go? it hurts just watching him pine over you”#and like i dont think sho is the kind of person who can be friends with someone who rejected him#so i think that when izk starts dating bkg he initially lives in a state of denial for like a year until ocha talks some sense into him#and then he picks up like an overseas hero placement and drops all contact with izk#bc he loves izk but he cannnot watch izk be happy with someone else#and maybe that makes him selfish but why does he always have to be the selfless one? let him be selfish this once#and izk spends like the next 5 years with a hole in his heart#but sho is Thriving overseas without the added angst of izk draping himself all over sho.#until one night izk shows up at sho's apt. turns out that izk was doing an overseas mission and asked for sho's address under the guise of#being an old school friend. and sho reluctantly lets izk in cause it's cold outside and by god he has never been able to deny izk anything#and then they have a massive blowout argument.#why did you leave? / are you fucking serious? like you weren't two-timing bkg with the way you used to sit in my lap#wth are you talking about? / izuku! you do not get to have both of us! either you pick me or you pick him. and judging by that ring you#picked him. / i am not kind like you izuku. if you picked him i don't want anything to do with it. i don't want to be there for it#anyway#tododeku#tddk#todoroki shouto#midoriya izuku#bnha
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LOVER'S QUARREL
- fushiguro megumi x reader
“i can't do this anymore.” you and megumi are just too different; he's stoic, you're bubbly, he prefers solitude, you love being social. it starts with fights, words you don't mean, and ends with an event that would haunt him for a long time to come.
genre/warnings: angst, breaking up, post-breakup feelings, mentions and description of injury and blood, hurt/comfort, fluff in the end (you make up!)
note: dear god i’m finally getting this out of my drafts. loosely inspired by real life events i’ve seen around my friend’s relationship sooo it might hurt a bit 🤏🏻 but who can say no to angst to eventual fluff? tagging @lees-chaotic-brain and @kasumitenbaz (as per request in the ask!), you two are always here for my megumi works, thank you!! :3 and thank you for dropping by for the event!
a part of 1K MILESTONE EVENT
general masterlist
Everyone pointed it out as a joke, that you liked him way more than he did you.
And you used to never let it ruffle you. To you, Megumi’s sternness and silence meant that he was comfortable with you. You never wanted him to change his ways just because now you were seeing each other.
But when you thought it over now, as you stood before him with an aghast expression and knives stabbing your kind, soft heart, you couldn’t help but do a double-take.
You were the one who confessed first. Most of the time, you were the one who initiated dates. You always texted him first, asking about his day, and even when he brushed you off, you would keep being this ball of sunshine and wished him a good day.
You never realized it before… that through everything, it has always been you. Unfailingly.
So how dare he spout this now?
“I can't do this anymore.”
"You... can't?" you spat out, feeling the first tendrils of anger course through you. "What exactly it is that you can't do? What do you even mean?"
"Look," Megumi stared at you squarely, and you thought now, that it was the coldest of eyes, straight and true. "It's always been like this between us lately. It's only right that we end this."
This, he said. He didn't even want to define your relationship anymore.
You scoffed. "And why do you think we always end up this way? Have you ever considered, even once, that it's because you make no effort at all?"
"I'm trying," Megumi quickly replied, almost in a hiss, and you almost recoiled. "But I just see that we'll end up nowhere, that's why I'm bringing this up now."
Oh, that freaking hurts. You boyfriend had just told you that this relationship would go nowhere. Right in your face.
Your eyes stung with tears, yet you fought to hold them back, fixing your gaze on the lamp overhead and inhaling deeply.
"You're... selfish," you stated, filled with ire. "You're always walking around eggshells around me, never telling me what is it that you really want—"
Megumi's unclouded eyes fixed on your trembling form. "We just disagree on a lot of things. You know it and it bothers you. It bothers me too. Rather than forcing our relationship, I think it's better—"
"It's always me!" you yelled then, lips quivering and eyes watering, unable to hold your emotions back any longer. "All dates, lunches—everything!" you locked your eyes with him, in mocking disbelief. "How can you say you're trying when, in truth, I'm the one putting in so much for us?!"
In that very second, Megumi thought that he hated seeing you like this. You were supposed to be the cheerful one in this relationship, and when he agreed to go out with you, he made an unspoken commitment to himself that he would at least not make you miserable.
And yet...
"...I'm sorry."
Came his reply, and you were sure that this was it.
And to rub the salt in your wound, he added, "I can't lie to you and say I haven't thought this for a while too."
As tears welled within you, you wondered and questioned what you lacked that led to this. However, the overwhelming sense of betrayal consuming your thoughts ultimately prevailed over any other emotions.
Now he could've appeared before you as a stranger and you wouldn't bat an eye, as the cold steel in his tone said, "And if blaming me is what it takes to make you feel better, then so be it."
You couldn't pinpoint the source of your sudden boldness, but in the next hot minute, you marched past him, your shoulder harshly colliding with his in a deliberate, almost spiteful manner—which, indeed, was your intention—and then you ran.
Which led to the next scene: you found yourself bawling your eyes out in the girls' lavatory.
Yuji and Nobara saw everything unfolding right before their eyes. They hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but you and Megumi were literally breaking up right the middle of their shared classroom, and it was hard not to follow the discourse until the end.
"Are you okay?" Nobara had come to your side, ensuring privacy by locking the restroom door out of your consideration. You were a sobbing mess, attempting to wipe the overflowing tears away while letting out all your emotions.
"He's..." Your voice faltered amid sobs as you gazed at your steadfast friend, your throat clogging up. "He said... he's been wanting t-to... break up with m-me..."
"That's okay, that's okay..." Nobara brought you to her arms, patting your back in reassurance. "Fushiguro is insensitive like that... don't cry over him now. He's just a wimp, okay?"
"Why is it me?" you asked her, voice brittle, still shaking with tears. "I t-tried everything! Being the supportive girlfriend..."
"If he can't appreciate what you did, then the problem lies with him," your friend stated, traces of irritation brewing in her resolute gaze. And as she firmly grasped your wrist, her next words resonated. "Not you."
. . .
"Do you really have to break her heart like that?" Yuji fidgeted with his hoodie, staring at his best friend with a blend of confusion and sympathy.
Megumi sighed, finally ruffling his hair into a mess, as if expressing his own state of mind. “This is for the best.”
Yuji’s eyebrows visibly creased. “How is this ‘for the best’? She’s miserable, and you…” he assessed him, scanning him from head to toe, “it doesn’t seem you’re faring any better too.”
“The longer she is with me, the unhappier she will be.” Megumi glanced at the bathroom’s direction. “She can deserve better.”
He was always too quiet, too boring, not able to match your energy too. He couldn’t fault you for expecting more, whereas he was just not exactly built for your expectations.
Megumi really thought he wanted it to end. At one point, it even felt like a chore, but…
How strange. Why did it feel like something was clawing at his chest?
Time heals. Megumi knew that by theory, but he really did see it firsthand when he saw you all giggling and happy again three weeks after he initiated the breakup.
With Hakari.
“Yo, what are you glaring at?” Panda asked, but Megumi didn’t pay him any mind.
An upperclassman, Hakari Kinji, was naturally cool and talented. He was laid back, knew how to have fun—all in all, a total opposite of Fushiguro Megumi altogether.
Three weeks. It’s only been three weeks since then.
“Megumi?”
Wait… Aren’t three weeks too fast to get over your ex?
“Megumi!”
“Huh?” he turned to the sentient panda with a jerk. “Oh, what is it?”
He looked at him with a concerned gaze. "Why do you look so scary? It's almost as if you're about to punch someone..."
But who was he to argue? He had no right to be upset now.
"Is it Kinji?" Panda gasped, finally putting two and two together when he followed his line of sight. "Oh Megumi... but you—"
"Just shut up, please," he blurted then, a hint of annoyance in his tone. With that, Panda didn't pursue it further, leaving him with his thoughts.
From where he was at the field, he could clearly see your radiant smile for Hakari. It was clear that the two of you shared a degree of friendship, but Megumi never knew that you two were that close.
...huh?
Why did the sight irritate him so suddenly? Why did his chest twinge again?
What a fool. You're the one driving her away, you idiot.
Suddenly these memories popped up one by one—
Of you suddenly hugging him from behind in an attempt to surprise him.
How he pressed his lips on the crown of your head when you fall asleep on his shoulder.
How you would give him that dopey smile when he pulled you close.
But on harder days after missions gone wrong, he’d ignore you altogether— the slight disappointment in your smile then. How your expression fell when he told you to go. How you slumped and looked back in hopes of him changing his mind.
“Haaaah.” Megumi turned away, unwilling to keep watching you any longer. Why? Why hadn’t it occurred to him before now?
Why did he long for you now? Why not before, when you were still his?
They were right. It seems people tend to desire what isn't meant for them.
What could have been more painfully awkward than being sent into a mission with your ex-boyfriend?
You would kill Gojo for this. Or at least give him the lowest possible score in his teaching evaluation for the year. How could he? Your breakup was an infamous public spectacle, so this setup was undoubtedly intentional!
You were losing your head over this, and yet your ex-boyfriend...
"Keep your guard up," Megumi reminded curtly, in a warning tone. He looked as vigilant and straight as always, as if he wasn't even bothered.
You threw him a dirty look, offended. "You don't have to tell me twice."
This just cranked up the discomfort to an excruciating level. The mix of unresolved tension and memories—okay, you might be an emo, but how were you supposed to be cool with all of these hanging in the air?
Your site of exorcism was an abandoned warehouse, and the cursed spirit in question was supposed to be a grade 3. You two were grade 2 sorcerers now, so you were a perfect fit to exorcise it. But there was indeed this unease in the air that you couldn't put your finger to.
"Isn't it awfully too quiet?" you unwittingly muttered, staring at the darkness of the wall. You couldn't feel any cursed energy belonging to any possible malevolent entity, and that was what unsettled you the most.
Megumi frowned at your line of sight. "It is. Stay close."
You blinked at what he said, and before you knew it, the familiar scent of him being near to you made your entire body burst with this equally familiar warmth. When you looked up to him, seeing the solid sharpness in that dark eyes of his and his jaw set, dead butterflies in your chest rose back to life again, against your heartbreak and better judgement.
Stay close, he said... So he is worried...
And in an attempt to hide how flustered you were, you looked down.
You walked a few good steps, when suddenly he asked, "So, are you with Hakari-senpai now?"
"Huh?" You spun around, your expression a mix of surprise and confusion.
"You two seem close."
Seem close? Seem close... wait, so Megumi had noticed...?
Suddenly, you felt incited and it made you angry. "That's none of your business," your voice carried a sharp edge, hissing. And you knew you were being a bit mean by adding, "You broke up with me, so why do you even care?"
In that moment, Megumi could've sworn his chest throbbed. Your cutting tone pierced directly into his heart, lodging itself there.
You had all rights to be annoyed, and he knew that. Why did that question even slip out of him?
"Nah, nevermind," he mumbled in response, looking away.
Awkwardness lingered afterwards. You hated this, but no, you weren't above being petty. He had broken your heart and it still stung even now. If your intentionally biting words did to him even a fraction of what he made you feel, then you would find a small sense of satisfaction in it.
But you weren't able to ponder about your mess of feelings further when Megumi abruptly yanked your arm, his voice soaking with urgency, "It's here!"
Sure enough, the grotesque cursed spirit with the shape of a giant bee broke through the walls with a bang. The two of you immediately readied your fighting stance. Megumi was ready with his divine dogs, while you with your cursed weapon.
For a while, you engaged the cursed spirit with all you had. You were trying to focus on the enemy, but you couldn't help but notice the way Megumi always looked at you every few seconds, checking for any signs of injury or harm.
Frankly speaking, he trusted your strength and knew that you were a capable sorcerer. You had been paired in a mission before and he knew both your potential and shortcomings. It was just there was something about this place that had his senses on high alert.
And his fears were proven true when you yelped and were flung onto the grimy floor. "Y/N!"
"I'm fine!" you shouted in a rush, scrambling to your feet. However, as you spun towards him, your scream tore through the hall as you caught sight of the bee lurking behind him. "Megumi!"
He got distracted. The bee quickly latched onto him and almost stung him, until he wrestled it off and summoned Nue and exorcised it.
You went to his side that instant. "Are you okay?!"
"I am." But then he winced and almost fell on his knees if you didn't have a secure grip on him. He savored your touch and breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that now you two were safe.
"Megumi! Oh god!" Panic surged through you as you pulled him close. His side was bleeding, and you widened your eyes at the sight.
"I'm okay, I promise," he rasped, looking you in the eyes. "What abo—"
Then you saw it, the flicker from deep from that corner of platform, and suddenly, you grasped the source of the unease that had been lingering within you all this time. It wasn't the bee Megumi had just exorcised—
At that moment, there was no room for thought, one thing was certain: you didn't want him to get hurt more.
He didn't manage to finish his sentence when suddenly you pushed him away with so much force he never thought you had. Everything crashed so suddenly, he didn't have the time to brace himself or grab you with him, as another cursed bee appeared out of nowhere and—
Reality flashed before his eyes as he stared at you in sheer horror. At how the cursed spirit tore your body, sinking its hollow stinger in you.
You didn't really know what happened next. Everything was muffled—the frantic movements around you turned into a blur, along with Megumi's yells. Otherworldly pain coursed through your entire being and your ears rang, then everything in your line of sight became distorted and faded, along with your consciousness. Next and the last thing you knew was Megumi's battered face, a final imprint before you succumbed to the void.
Megumi had exorcised the remaining cursed spirit and staggered to his feet—falling a few times, but he made his way towards you through gritted teeth. You are hurt. He forced himself to get to you and pull you into his arms.
And suddenly, suddenly, nothing mattered anymore as overwhelming terror consumed him upon seeing you. Blood streamed from your abdomen so much that it made a continuous pool.
"You stupid—!" He choked out, voice hitching. You were no longer conscious and it devastated him even more. "Hey, hey? Wake up—hells—"
You, who did everything you could to save your relationship. You, who cried tears for him when he blatantly broke your heart. And you, who put himself first—and now facing the consequences.
It crashed upon him in that very second, the clarity. What was he thinking back then? He still loves you.
"If you die on me, I won't forgive you."
Megumi scooped you in his arms, pressing you close to his chest, the blood seeping from his wound be damned as he looked at your serene face. His heart shattered in the worst way possible and he almost wheezed at the sticky sensation of your blood—and how lifeless you felt in his grasp—but he willed it away.
"Don't," his broken rasp echoed the walls as he took each step to get both of you out of this hellhole. He winced and hissed at his own injury, chewing his lip in frustration, at how helpless he was.
"Don't leave me."
It was like a distant, hazy memory.
Was it a memory though? No. It seemed far too real for that.
The throbbing headache pounding through your skull and shivers that wracked your body pulled you back to reality. There was a heavy pressure on your abdomen and any movement sent sharp pain shooting through you.
You gradually opened your eyes, squinting against the brightness. You were in a hospital gown, an IV was injected on your arm, and the sterile scent made your stomach twist, as nausea creeping through your guts. Your vision was still blurry as you tried to look around to find someone who waited for you. As you slowly turned your head to the side, you saw him, sitting in the chair right next your bed.
Megumi was sleeping in such uncomfortable position, his head resting on the edge of your bed. He appeared peaceful, almost childlike, devoid of his usual stoic demeanor.
Your heartstrings were tugged at this rare sight. He also sustained injuries and yet... he was waiting for you to wake up, here.
Your chest swelled with warmth, which was quickly followed by a sting of heartbreak. Still, you two broke up...
You jolted, and the inadvertent movement sent a wave of pain that seemed to paralyze your nerves, causing you to whimper. The noise woke Megumi from his slumber, as he shot his eyes open in alarm, catching your hand in his.
"Hey... Are you okay?" Megumi worriedly looked down at you with a visible frown, and the grimace of pain on your face, accompanied by trembling lips, was enough of an answer. He hastily scrambled out in slight panic, "I'll get Ieiri-san."
When Shoko came and got you the painkillers, your pain receded somewhat. Through it all, Megumi stood there, casting concerned glances in your way.
"Bedrest for the week," Shoko stated firmly, assessing your wound with a no-nonsense expression. "Your injury isn't minor—it's serious enough that you're strongly advised against excessive movement."
You could only nod in response. Megumi bowed. "Thank you, Ieiri-san." Once the doctor departed, silence settled over the room once more.
“Why did you do that?” he quietly asked then, referring to what you did for him. And when you turned to him, you saw it clearly.
He looked pale, and there was this haunted look in his eyes. It broke your heart a little.
"You were hurt." Your voice came out dry, and you realized firsthand just how parched you were. Seeing Megumi looking down never quite sat right with you. He was meant to be an unwavering presence, someone strong enough to sway your convictions.
However, a pang struck when he countered with stern eyes, "You didn't have to do that."
...he was right. You didn't have to. What he didn't know was that you were still holding on these stupid feelings, which drove you to shield him. It made you ponder: if your roles were reversed, would he not step in to protect you at all?
"Why are you here?" You weren't sure if the bitterness in your tone was evident, but you continued anyway. "You don't have to be here either."
"Don't have to?" His gaze bore disbelief, as if not believing your words. "I'm—"
"If it's because I saved you, Megumi—"
“Do not even think, even for a moment, that I won’t be concerned over you.” His voice, deep and hoarse, struck you to the core, silencing your words. “Never. I always, always want you to be safe.”
Your mind became a blank slate. Suddenly, all that mattered was his voice.
"Don't you realize how terrifying it was? Seeing you like that?" Megumi spat, his green eyes shining with intensity, teeth gritted and fists clenched. "How could you even think that I wouldn't be here—" his breath hitched, and then his lips trembled slightly, "—for you?"
You blinked quickly, a feeling stirred within you—stemming from that cursed, fragile heart of yours to be exact, evident from the rapid thumping in your chest.
You dumbly uttered, "But we are—"
"Oh, Goddamnit." Megumi cursed, and honestly you were taken aback. It wasn't really in him to swear, so this really bugged him. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, and despite the situation, your heart skipped a beat at the sight. Even a mess in a hospital gown, your ex-boyfriend was still undeniably attractive.
He stared at you squarely in the eye, unflinching, steadfast and true, the very image of Fushiguro Megumi you admired from afar and fell in love with in the first place half a year ago. "You don't have to... say anything, if you don't want to. Right now... just hear me out."
And the things he said next... all of them, you could say, caught you entirely off guard.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not trying hard enough, and—damn it, for making you sad. I never, ever wanted to see you that upset."
Megumi drew in a sharp breath, averting his gaze. "And for days, I've wondered if you and Hakari-senpai are now a thing... and you know what? I hate it so much. I know I have no grounds to feel this way, after what I did, but..."
And like a train wreck, his final words hit you hard. Tears welled up in your eyes in immediate response.
“I'm a loser, and a coward too, maybe,” he shrugged, a tinge of self-deprecation in his tone. “And I suck at telling people my feelings, but I love you. I still do.”
A sob slipped out of your throat and you hastily pulled the blanket over your face, much to his surprise. He thought he had worsened things, with the way you were turning away from him.
But then, from beneath the blanket, in a croaky voice, you proclaimed, "Fushiguro Megumi, you're a complete and utter idiot."
And Megumi didn't know that he had been holding back his breath as he chuckled heartily, relieved that you would still take his ass back after this prolonged mess. He knew he still had a lot to make up for and was determined to show it through his actions.
"Maybe I am, yeah."
"That's possibly the longest shit you have ever spouted in one breath."
"Yeah..."
But he got his chance back, and he knew that you would be alright. Both of you are.
On one sunny day...
"Hey, are you alone?"
Megumi glanced up from his phone, only to be met with a random girl standing in front of him, batting her eyelashes with an ambiguous intent. He blinked at her curiously.
"No. Can I help you?"
The girl twirled her hair suggestively. "Ah, you see... I see you all in your lonesome and I think you're quite cute—"
The hell? Megumi frowned, and he was really about to give this bimbo a piece of his mind when—
Oh, oh. Forget that. Megumi's attention snapped to you on the opposite side of the crossroad. All pretty and dolled up with that crop tee and miniskirt he once mentioned would look great on you by a slip of tongue—that accidental comment earned him your teasing quips for weeks already.
"Sorry, I'm here for my girlfriend. Bye."
Abruptly dismissing the girl, he didn't catch how comically offended she was for being turned down in a span of 20 seconds. He took big strides towards you, as you crossed the street, and you immediately beamed when you caught the sight of his face.
"Megumi!"
Ah, this is going to be a good day, he thought. As he gazed at your pretty face, and caught your hand in his, clasping it tightly, reveling in your scent and the warmth of your presence beside him—
He was content, and once again it dawned on him, that he likes you so, so damn much.
"Let's get started on our date, shall we?"
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