#I don't think I've ever posted them. They're from 2019 though
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2010s period piece
#beebfreeb art tag#invader zim#my ocs#<- varx and kal are there say hi#I don't think I've ever posted them. They're from 2019 though#iz#collage#collage art#journal stuff
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Top 5 historic clothing items we should bring back into style (stockings on men, big cuffs on coats etc.)
Well I am very biased, because my everyday clothes are mostly 18th century menswear inspired, but for a list as short as 5 it's good to narrow it down!
1. 18th century shirts. Big puffy soft linen shirts. Best shirts. Comfiest shirts. Though tragically, since they get softer with more washing, they're at their absolute most comfortable right before they wear out.
(This one's from the post where I copied the tiddy-out violinist painting.) Besides being the nicest softest comfiest, they're also the most economical, being made entirely from rectangles. And they're versatile, they look good with lots of different garments! Someday I will do a very detailed youtube tutorial for my machine sewn shirt method. I've done so many now that I think I've finally got it down.
2. Adjustable waistbands. Why did this ever stop being a thing? 18th century breeches have lacing at the back, then in the 19th century trousers have a buckle tab. Now they do not, even though we're all still humans with bodies that change. (These are my orange silk breeches)
Do you know how many hours of my life I've spent taking in or letting out the waist seams of modern trousers? I don't know either, but I've been an alterations tailor since 2019, so it's got to be a fair amount.
All that waist altering wouldn't be necessary if they still made them adjustable! Waistlines fluctuate, so too should waistbands!!
3. Shoulder capes attached to coats. This was a thing in the late 18th century, and in the 19th, and I think into the early 20th too. It adds extra protection from the rain and snow, and it looks cool.
(c. 1812, The Met.)
(c. 1840-60, MFA Boston. The cape on this one is detachable)
You can make them long or short, and stack them up like pancakes or just have one. I've got 2 small ones on my corduroy coat, and one on my dark blue wool. Both cut from almost the same 1790's-ish pattern.
I also want to give a shoutout to fitted sleeves! I love me some two piece sleeves with a distinct elbow! And the coat pockets were bigger back then.
4. Indoor caps. I don't care what era or how fancy you go with it, I just want people to wear caps indoors when it's cold! This one's super simple, it's just a tube of linen tied with a ribbon.
(Detail from Le Marchand d’Orviétan ou l’opérateur Barri by Etienne Jeaurat, 1743.)
If it's cold in your apartment you need slippers for the feets and a cap for the head. Speaking of which.
5. Medieval hoods. This one is wayyy outside my usual era, but the wintery below-freezing weather has just started here and the knit hat I've been wearing isn't quite long enough to cover my ears. I want to make a simple hat with ear flaps, but I also wouldn't be opposed to trying to work something vaguely similar to this into my wardrobe. It looks so warm!
(Image source. Also she has a printable pattern available!) I actually made one of these once, an entire decade ago. But it was scratchy blanket wool and I've since given it away.
That's some of the main things I think we should bring back! There are lots of other things too, like men's nightgowns, and waistcoats with little scenes embroidered on them, but for this list I tried to be mostly practical.
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the ugly part of reality shifting
as great as shifting is, its really fucking draining. like REALLY draining. its nice that people want to show the fun and positive side of shifting and all, but once new shifters (specifically) hit the stage where they're drained and extremely demotivated, they aren't going to know how to deal with these new overwhelming emotions. reality shifting takes a toll on our mental health even if we don't like to admit it. this may not apply to everything, but I know it applies to the majority.
ive been shifting since 2021 (if you saw my post Abt me starting shifting in 2019 that was wrong lmfao mb yall-). and I still haven't shifted. I used to think I'd shift within 4 years but surprise surprise. I haven't. I'm drained and demotivated. I don't completely believe I wont ever shift, but I don't think I can get what I want by manifesting or affirming or doing any of that. I think the universe will just randomly hand it to me. it sounds dumb but that's the weird luck I have. when I don't expect it, I get what I want. but when I try hard and I expect it, nothing happens or I get smth worse. i don't think that even when I put blood,sweat, and tears into this that I'll shift. I've discovered so much shit about myself yet I am still here with no experience of what its like in another reality let alone my dr. never saw my dr once. only in my dreams and my imagination.
im going to be completely honest when I say that shifting is not for the weak. I'm not saying this to get you to quit because shifting is one of the best things that I found. I just want you to know that its not always going to be perfect. you might feel desperate, you might feel homesick, you might feel exhausted mentally. and sometimes you'll make progress but then find another obstacle. quite frankly, fuck the obstacles because that's not the issue. its how you deal with them that really determine how your growth goes. and no I'm not saying it controls if you'll shift or not because it doesn't. but if you're a person that gives up easily, its going to be hard to overcome those blockages. I say that because I myself give up easily. which is ironic because I don't give up when it comes to certain goals I want to accomplish (one of those goals being shifting), but I refuse to get rid of those so called "blockages" and avoid them even though I know what's the problem. I avoid them because I don't know how to fix them and I just have this fear that's telling me I'll fail.
this post probably doesn't make a lot of sense but that's because I'm writing this in the heat of the moment so I'm not doing a lot of thinking, I'm just typing. what I'm saying is don't be that person that avoids the problems. be transparent with yourself because I'm telling you, the more you avoid it, the more drained youre going to become. it might turn into an endless loop where you think about your Dr daily but you have zero energy to shift. and it fucking sucks.
overall, please take breaks whether they're mental or shifting breaks, if you feel like there is an issue with yourself, fix it. this is a hard journey but it will be a lot easier once you're honest and overcome problems that need to be solved.
(disclaimer that this may not apply to everyone, just the people who are going through a rough patch in their journey. this is mainly just my perspective and what I've heard from a friend of mine since our issues seemed pretty similar. and if anyone needs someone to talk to, my DMS are open. I want my blog to be a safe space and that this is a place where not everything is perfect. I love y'all and please take care and don't stress yourselves <33)
also, fuck that toxic positivity shit that just makes mfs more drained. if you feel demotivated address it don't push it away
#shiftblr#reality shifting#black shifters#desired reality#shifters#shifting#shifting realities#shifting blog#shifting community#shifting antis dni#kai realizes
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My fav yuri couples / ships <3
(In no particular order)
No one asked for it but I'm bored and wanna do it, you guys can give me ideas for lists to talk about like that in the future too.
Gonna make more parts too <3
Rae and Claire (I'm in Love with the Villainess) (Canon)
My thoughts: Okay so I absolutely adore everything about this series like manga and anime and light novels are all so good <3 It even defeated my ultimate yuri series which is Bloom Into You and that's something. So of course Rae and Claire with their amazing and such an interesting relationship had to make a list here. I don't know why but something about them just fills me with warmth. The way Claire goes from absolutely not being able to stand Rae to falling in love completely is just so 🤌 Dare I say my fav yuri relationship 💖
Sorawo and Toriko (Urasekai Picnic) (Canon)
My thoughts: With my last posts no one should be surprised at the next pair because COME ON GUYS, they're the lesbians we need but never deserved fr... I love everything about them, girlfriends who are accomplices and explore a world with monsters and other fucked up shit while being absolutely gay and protective of each other. I adore them <3
Yuu and Touko (Bloom Into You) (Canon)
My thoughts: My first ever fav yuri (Can't believe Rae and Claire beat them though-) for a reason. Everything about this was perfect for me, characters, plot and just the writing in general. Yuu and Touko's relationship with each other kept me entertained for the whole anime and then manga. I don't know what to say except that I love them <3
Adachi and Shimamura (Adachi to Shimamura) (Canon)
My thoughts: THEM. I just think they're so cute and that's all. And I know a lot of people are gonna come and say "Omg Vex Shimamura doesn't care about Adachi like that, she's such an annoying person-" Shut up because I do not tolerate Shimamura slander on this blog. Girl went through a lot but she cares about and loves Adachi. "The end of her life was the end of mine" bitch stop I'm sobbing, if that ain't love then I don't know what is.
Mitsuki and Aya (The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy at All) (Canon)
My thoughts: Obviously I HAD TO add my green lesbians here. Mitsuki and Aya are the syrup to my pancakes and I'm so serious. Don't you guys just love it when two girls bond over shared interests and fall in love? Yeah me too 🙂↕️ If you need some serotonin then just read it, trust me guys.
Himari and Yori (Whisper Me a Love Song) (Canon)
My thoughts: Himari and Yori are so 💖 I've been reading this manga since it first came out in 2019 and my feelings towards them never change. In every chapter they're just so cute and their relationship is just adorable and I just love them <3
Aki and Shiho (Whisper Me a Love Song) (Canon)
My thoughts: Since we're on topic of Whisper Me a Love Song, since the first time we got introduced to their relation I WAS HOOKED. Everything about them was just so interesting and their storyline only highlighted their love later on. Plus I think both Shiho and Aki deserve to be happy after everything so I'm happy they're girlfriends.
Kumiko x Reina (Hibike! Euphonium) (Not Canon)
My thoughts: It physically hurt me to put not canon there because why? 😔 Honestly when I first started watching this show I thought they're so into each other until my brother spoiled me that they're indeed NOT into each other like that. Still in my heart they're girlfriends no matter what. No one will ever tell me there was absolutely nothing between them. I'm obsessed with them.
Chika x You (Love Live Sunshine) (Not Canon)
My thoughts: All of you Love Live stans may criticize me for talking about them first since "There's so much more better Love Live ships-" No. Nuh uh. Chika and You are my absolute fav ship in all of Love Live for some reason that I can't explain. They're just so cute and I may be a sucker for childhood friends trope in anime 🫠 The whole jealousy moment in the anime was feeding me too much and now it's showing fruits of it (Me being absolutely OBSESSED)
Ayumu x Yuu (Love Live Nijigasaki) (Not Canon)
My thoughts: Since we're on the topic of the childhood friends trope, obviously Ayumu and Yuu couldn't be missing from any part of this list. They're just so good together that it's shocking. Ayumu going yandere whenever a girl is close to Yuu and Yuu being absolute women charmer being surrounded by girls in the club is giving me life. They're just absolute adorable together and with them I'm absolutely sure they ended up together somewhere in the future.
#vex talks#rae x claire#i'm in love with the villainess#sorawo x toriko#urasekai picnic#yuu x touko#bloom into you#adachi x shimamura#adachi to shimamura#mitsuki x aya#a guy she was interested in wasn't a guy at all#himari x yori#aki x shiho#whisper me a love song#kumiko x reina#hibike euphonium#chika x you#ayumu x yuu#love live
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No. 50 - All Nippon Airways Airbus A380 "Flying Honu" Livery
Happy 50th Runway Runway post! I had a bit of a hard time deciding what to do for it - after all, it's a pretty significant number. I already sort of know what I want to do for the 100th post, but I hadn't put much thought into the 50th, and I had to scuttle any plans for something long and interesting after a rather stressful week. Instead I decided to do something both fun and requested!
source: ANA Stories
One (well, three!) of the most beloved special liveries out there, All Nippon Airways' turtle-themed "Flying Honu" Airbus A380. These three friendly giants fly from Japan to Honolulu, delighting anyone lucky enough to see them.
Actually, I love the Flying Honu so much I have one myself.
I would describe myself as a bit of a magpie. I collect useless things, be they historical ephemera, horror movie memorabilia, old books, pretty rocks, or way too many fountain pen inks given I mostly use them to take notes. I even have a bunch of my old teeth in a pillbox. Surprisingly, though, the things my talons have lodged in don't include many model airplanes. I have...a few. I've actually, though serendipity, gotten two more since I started this blog, expanding my collection to a startling five. Maybe seven if you count my Starscream and Brainstorm figures, but I don't think I even remember how to put either of them in their alt modes. The fact is that while they aren't a fortune or anything plane figures are expensive enough that it's a commitment to buy one, and I usually only do when I stumble on a good deal for a model I really want. And one of the few times I've actually decided that I just needed a model of a specific livery was the "Flying Honu" A380. Specifically, the one I have is the airframe registered JA382A, Kai. (She's the 1:500 JC Wings diecast model and is around the size of my hand.)
I just needed to be able to gently tap her nose in person, okay? She can't fit up on the shelf with a lot of my other miscellaneous trinkets so she sits on my desk and sometimes I explain things to her while trying to figure them out, like a coding rubber duck. She makes me happy.
All Nippon Airways (全日本空輸) is a major Japanese airline. In fact, in terms of both fleet size and number of destinations they're bigger than flag carrier JAL. They're consistently described as being among the best airlines in the world for the discerning well-to-do business traveler, and let's just say that's not me, but what I am is a reviewer of airline liveries, and ANA sure has those! In addition to their standard Triton Blue livery they do all sorts of special designs, particularly crossovers with properties like Pokémon and Star Wars. All of these are something I would like to someday feature, but none of them matter at all to me when compared to the Flying Honu, introduced with the A380 fleet in 2019.
A couple of times when I've told people I know about this livery they asked me if 'honu' is Japanese for 'turtle'. That's a reasonable question, but the Japanese word for turtle is 'kame'. 'Honu' is the word for turtle, though - in Hawaiian.
image: ANA
In fact, Honolulu is the A380s' only destination. ANA didn't really want A380s to begin with, but ended up stuck with them while acquiring another airline. The thing about the A380, and the reason it failed commercially and so few were ever built, is that the use-case for a massive plane is pretty limited. It goes as such: you have a passengerbase of people who have to travel from one giant hub that can land an A380 to another frequently enough that you can actually make money on a plane with four entire engines.
Okay, so the use-case is that you're Emirates. ANA might be expensive, but they don't really have the central location or sheer amount of regular business travelers that Dubai does. 'Three' also isn't really that many A380s, which creates a bit of a question of reliability. So instead they fixed the problem in a way that's honestly pretty genius: they made it turtles.
image: ANA
ANA seems to be generally invested in Hawaii, with a fair amount of partnerships with local organizations. A lot of Hawaiian real estate is owned by Japanese companies, and those of Japanese descent are the second-larget ethnic group in Hawaii at 16.7%, so it makes sense that a lot of people would want to travel there. Tokyo to Honolulu is a nice 9-hour flight with no possibility for a stopover of any kind (unless they invent civilian aircraft carriers for A380s), so it's the perfect route for precisely three really huge planes.
images: ANA
They can fit 520 passengers across four classes on one flight, seated across both decks of the massive planes. There is also a section of seats which convert to couches, marketed for families. Those who fly this route get to enjoy rainbow lighting and the ability to buy a duty-free 1:500 model of the plane (not the same model I have, though, I'm pretty sure) or a set of Flying Honu plushes.
Ra looks like she's plotting something. Lani looks like she's never had a single thought in her life.
And they do make money off this, because people absolutely love these planes. People have apparently had their weddings on these planes, and I would too! They make ten weekly flights right now, but in December that will be increasing to fourteen weekly, or two daily.
Okay, so, the actual liveries.
Here's Kai in full-size! The light in my room make her look way cooler toned in the photographs, but in real life she's this color. It's frequently described as 'green' or 'emerald green', but I think it's definitely turquoise and would go so far as to call it blue. Whatever the case, it's meant to represent the color of the sea near Hawaii. Kai is also distinct from the others because of her eyes, which are closed as she smiles from ear to ear. That's why she's my favorite - she just looks so happy!
...a bit weirder looking from upfront, but look how even the ventral fairing is painted! That's part of the flippers where they curl around, tucked into the shell. Unlike the Transocean Air Jinbei Jets, the cockpit windows blend in with the 'scales' of the Flying Honu, looking rather natural.
'Ra' is a beautiful orange, meant to represent the Hawaiian sunset. She has a bit of a peach undertone if you look closely, but her details are done in an extremely vivid reddish orange. Her distinguishing feature are those gigantic eyelashes, similar to Sakura Jinbei's. The actual mouth shape on all three planes appears to be the same, but I find that the eyes still give them distinct 'personalities'. Ra has always looked very thoughtful to me.
Just look at her in flight! I've never understood why people call the 747 stately or graceful, and same for the A380 - double-decker planes are just inherently goofy-looking, and that's great, but ANA managed to make one look pretty elegant. I think it's because turtles are already regarded as large and slow creatures, so fitting like for like just makes it seem as natural for this absolutely gigantic aircraft to be flying as it is for a turtle to swim.
Finally, Lani, the turtle everyone agrees to be blue, represents the Hawaiian sky during its brightest color in daylight. If you look closely, you can see her blue 'eyeshadow', which I've always thought made her look relaxed.
This picture gives a good angle of my only real critique of the Flying Honu, which is that the shells and heads don't entirely look aligned, as if the head is in the process of being retracted. That said, I think that's just a fact of working with the shape of an airplane. There's just no more space below to fit any more shell.
Rather than being just one turtle, though, each "Flying Honu" has two fully rendered baby turtles following behind their 'mother'.
I think this is adorable, and beyond that it solves a crucial problem - the tail. Turtles do have those, but not in a way that maps onto a standard empennage. Instead, ANA makes the smart choice to end the shell at a certain point and add these two extra turtles make-way-for-ducklings-ing their way across the fuselage for more visual interest, leaving the tail empty for an ANA logo without making it jarring. This is a huge improvement over the Jinbei Jets, which again serve as a point of comparison as the other major Japanese marine life planes. (Amakusa Airlines is way smaller and thus not going to get caught up in this.)
I mean, it's hard to find too much to say about these that isn't just "oh my gosh, look at them". The Flying Honu are vividly colored, with clever shapes used to make them immediately recognizable as turtles. I smile every time I see one, including the little one on my desk!
And in case you weren't already delighted, there's two extra bonus turtles!
I think it's pretty obvious I'm giving these an A+. Come on, just...just look at them. The fact that ANA bothered to make three distinct ones with their own names and faces is just icing on the cake for me, but I do love that they did.
I can't believe I didn't find a way to fit this in earlier into the post, but I really love turtles. If you have an aquarium near you, and that aquarium has turtles, I really recommend stopping by to see them. My local New England Aquarium has had Myrtle for more than 50 years. As they describe her, 'the 550-lb Queen of the Giant Ocean Tank is large, in charge, and ready to receive your adoration'.
youtube
True to form, although a lot larger and dealing in a different type of fluid dynamics, the Flying Honu jets get plenty of my adoration too.
#tarmac fashion week#grade: a+#era: 2010s#era: 2020s#all nippon airways#aquairium#region: east asia#region: japan
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Frerard Theory
Barriers Lyrics PT. 4
I just wanted to say that i noticed it's my own fucking blog. I'm not afraid or ashamed of posting stuff I like including about Frank and G. You can kick me out of anywhere but not from my place! With that said I guess we can keep this journey. Next one will be the FIATFV EPS. Next we get Parachutes, Stomachaches, etc. Let's check these lyrics out!
4. Ode to distruction
I've thought enough for both of us but I barely said a word
I been back and forth a thousand times hoping not to lose
In this first paragraph we can already notice Iero feeling like he don't ever say what he wants to say (or maybe do). Then he says he even so keeps trying, afraid he would not get what he wants.
And I know I should take it slow
But I've never followed suit
This one is interesting! Maybe the song is about a long time ago when Frank was desperate to get an answer from Gerard of what they felt, what they were.
And this ache you gave it dies with me
So this time I'm finally through
But I wish it wasn't true
This time he's back to the present and argues about even though he's fine (as much as he can) he still wanted he didn't lose him. He still dreams of: What if we did get along well?
I may wish I'd disappear
Let the record slow
As the distance grows, it's like I always feared
I never gave enough and I never wanted to
But still I think of you
Like 99,9% of Frank's lyrics, he's like he's never good enough or never gave enough. Like it's his fault because he didn't try much.
And now (2018, 2019) that they're separate this consumes him even more.
Would you waste some time on me?
Am I a waste of time?
And here he's asking to Gerard does he still like him after all of this?
If you're around next year, even for a day
Would you show your face?
And lay those eyes on me
Because I'm a sight to see
Considering that he wrote it in like 2018/19 he's probably about when they meet ~ as he knew MCR was getting back ~ Gerard would still look at him with loving eyes.
I've survived so much
On my own
You'll bite your tongue
He means he's gonna regret if he didn't believe Frank'd be ok the way he is. AFTER EVERYTHING.
We're deaf to those that tell us truths that we don't wanna hear
So here's to those that wish us well the rest can go to hell
THIS EXPLAINS ITSELF. They don't want to accept they really had something precious and Frank wants all best for those who actually cares about them, not only about the shipp but THEM to be happy however. ~ so sweet~
Life's a waste without you and me
I don't wanna be this way
You're never getting rid of me
He didn't want to be that insistent with them but it's like it isn't in his control. He really thinks of it a hundred times a day. He won't getting tired of writing about them, or thinking about what they could have been.
#mcr#mychemicalromance#frankiero#gerardway#my chemical romance#frank iero#frerard#mcrx#gerard way#frerardisreal#grank#ode to distruction#barriers#frank iero and the future violents#fiatfv#frerard theory
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Aaaaaaand here's Week 11 of Daily Dragons! Just like the last 2 posts. Moving. Tired. Stressed. Major life changes. No time to post. This last week also had a lot of bad days so I had to lump a lot of missed days together. For example, the Yoshis are actually the last 2 days of last week AND the first 2 days of this week. But enough talk, here's what I was cooking last week.
As always you can follow me on twitter where they’re posted daily
And read more info on each of them below the cut
Daily Dragon #70 - Dragon Mario
Happy #MAR10Day!! I won't do it right now cause I'm a little busy atm but I'd like to draw Luigi, Peach, and Toad with the power too! Like I said before, this is an older concept from 2019 like I said! Here's how it used to look, I think I've cleaned it up a lot!
Also I found an attempt to redesign this concept from 2023! Neat! I still think this newest version is best though
Daily Dragon #71 - Dragon Tank
To celebrate Chrono Trigger's anniversary! It didn't come out perfectly, but I mean we only ever see it from one angle, cut me some slack lol
Daily Dragon #72 - Lil Dragon
Small, pudgy dragons that love playing and biting! They're a little rambunctious so you need to give them lots of chew toys so they leave your stuff alone!
Wanted to draw something small and easy today lol this is another redraw of this little fella from 2019 I believe, I don't THINK this is related to the Pico dragons?
Daily Dragon #73 / #74 - Gemini Dragons
Two dragon sisters who fly around the Gemini constellation. They're never seen apart, even fighting side by side with crossover attacks!
Daily Dragon #75 / #76 / #77 / #78 - Yoshis
Coming in many shapes, sizes, colors, and powers, Yoshis are some of the cutest dinosaurs in the world! Do you have a favorite Yoshi color? Mine are easily Black and White!
Some bonus variants with the other Yoshi colors :)
I know this might seem a touch bit like cheating cause it's 4 Yoshis and also they're dinosaurs not dragons. But before you say this consider: nah it's cool actually
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evermore and the regrets
Before reading this analysis I would recommend researching the theory about the failed coming out (I think this post from @sophietv is the best I've read on the subject), and reading my previous analysis of The Archer, since I consider these songs to be heavily connected (in my head they're sort of a trilogy with Dear Reader, which should be my next post).
Second thing, I’m not considering the lyrics to be from different pov even though it’s a duet, so even if i put in purple the lyrics that Bon Iver sings in the studio version, I don't believe that it has a particular meaning, but if you have another interpretation, I would be delighted to read it. ^^
A quick reminder of the timeline this is based on, just so we’re on the same page: Taylor would’ve hoped to come out on June 30th 2019 New York pride parade, but didn’t, probably because of the stealing of her masters. She then started really quickly to shift from the colorful Lover era to wearing mostly black, and performing pretty sad songs acoustically (go watch the Live in Paris and the BBC Live Lounge studio for example). It’s also the time where Taylor and Karlie may have broken up, from what I know, we don’t know for sure in what order the events happen, but it may be linked in some way, which might be adding to the pain she feels connected to that period.
This song takes us through her journey, of understanding and accepting the way things turned out during the Lover era.
I would like to start by highlighting how she uses the imagery of winter (I put it in blue) in that song. She was supposed to come out in at the end of June, and this song is filled with cold, ice, winter, etc, which, I think, represent the way she felt like she was frozen in the closet, incapable to move and to join the queer community during the summer.
Gray November I've been down since July
It may seem obvious, but the beginning of July is the end of June, pride month, and as I said before, she wanted to come out on June 30th: July was exactly the time when she understood that she hadn’t been able to, and must’ve been a period of great doubt and regrets: she never got answer to the questions she asked in the Archer, she never got to see the outcome of all that anxiety she felt, it just didn't happen.
Motion capture Put me in a bad light
This is probably about the Miss Americana documentary, which was allegedly supposed to be a coming out documentary, and ended up being about her talking about politics. After the documentary, she never talked about politics in such an open and determined way again, which might put her in a tight position. The documentary is just another reminder of her “failure” (she might think of it that way, if you want my opinion, not being able to come out is never a failure on your part, it’s a failure from your environment to you), and puts her in a bad light at least in her own mind, since she backtracked right after.
I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone Trying to find the one where I went wrong
She replays the events again and again, trying to understand where she made a mistake, where she should’ve acted differently.
Writing letters Addressed to the fire
And she thinks, again, of all her coming out speeches she might have written (“I’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you”, the Archer), with the bitterness of knowing that none of them were ever destined to become more than wishful thinking.
And I was catching my breath Staring out an open window Catching my death And I couldn't be sure I had a feeling so peculiar That this pain would be for Evermore
She fears that she’s never gonna overcome those regrets and that she’ll be stuck with these feelings forever. (I’ll develop a bit more on that part when i’ll reach the last chorus.)
Hey December
At the beginning of the song, we were in November, thinking about July. Here, time has passed, but she’s still caught in the winter...
Guess I'm feeling unmoored Can’t remember What I used to fight for
Here again, her not being out can be one of the explanations as to why Taylor stopped talking about politics as much as she did at some point. She can’t find the hope she had before, about her future and her life, and she may have lost the will to fight, feeling like if she wasn’t “even” able to come out, she wasn’t able to fight for anything else.
I think it could also mean that the breakup and/or everything that happened at the time made her lose her desire to come out in any way.
I rewind the tape but all it does is pause On the very moment all was lost
She can’t understand where everything went wrong, she can’t remember what happened, how it happened, how she ended up where she is, the only thing she remembers is the feeling when she understood that she had “lost”, that she wouldn’t be able to win this.
The way she says “all was lost” means – in my opinion – that she held so much hope, and that so much of her future was dependent on her coming out, that not being able to do it made her feel like lost everything she had worked for.
Sending signals
The beginning of the Lover era was probably one of the moments Taylor was the loudest about her queerness…
To be double crossed
…But in the end, she was betrayed and she couldn’t get through with it, she couldn’t actually act on these signals. In that situation, she was betrayed, but she could also feel like she betrayed those who understood what she wanted to do.
And I was catching my breath Barefoot in the wildest winter Catching my death And I couldn't be sure I had a feeling so peculiar That this pain would be for Evermore
Can’t not think of all the cost And the things that will be lost
The anxiety is still there, and she’s wondering if it’s worth it. She was sure it was, in the Archer, but now she isn’t anymore, she realized what she could lose, how much it would cost her.
Oh, can we just get a pause? To be certain we'll be tall again
Can I just take time to think, to make sure that it���s still what I want, to be certain I won’t lose everything (again) if I end up doing it.
Whether weather be the frost Or the violence of the dog days I'm on waves, out being tossed
This seems to confirm that the the cold represent the closet: whether she stays frozen in the closet or she faces the violence of being out (a violence that echoes hundreds of years of oppression), she's not in full control. It’s something I’ll develop further in my analysis of Dear Reader, but at that point I think she realized that whatever she does, it’s gonna be at least in part determined by the society she lives in, its intolerance and expectations, and she understands that the closet does not have less worth, as a choice, because coming out is also something that is dictated by heteronormativity. This choice is deeply personal, either ways it’s gonna be hard, and she can finally take a decision without being afraid of “betraying” or “lying” to people.
Is there a line that I could just go cross?
Is there a way for me to just get through with it and never have to think of it again, is there a rule I could break that would make it impossible for me to be mistaken, and for people not to understand who I am? The answer is no, whatever she does, her queerness will never be fully recognized and accepted.
And when I was shipwrecked I thought of you In the cracks of light I dreamed of you It was real enough To get me through And I swear You were there
I *think* she’s talking to her fans here, the ones who wouldn’t have left, had she actually come out. The end of the song is a call for hope and she actually end it up in an optimistic way.
And I was catching my breath Floors of a cabin creaking under my step
In the first chorus, she’s “catching her breath / staring”, she is the most silent possible, voluntarily and she doesn’t move, she’s watching passively. Then in the second one, she’s “barefoot in the wildest winter” you can imagine the snow, she doesn’t make a sound when she walks, and the sound of the wind is covering her anyway, she could not be loud even if she wanted to, but the focus is back on her feet, she’s in movement but it doesn’t change anything, she isn’t able to make a sound. Now, the floor is creaking under her step, she’s back home, in a cabin and she can finally walk loudly without fear or being caught. Is it because she’s finally comfortable in the (glass) closet she now lives in, or because she intends to be fully out at some point, I don’t know, but the end of this song, I think, convey the feeling that she’s safe, or that she’s going to be, at some point.
And I couldn't be sure I had a feeling so peculiar This pain wouldn't be for Evermore
This goes with what I said before, she ends up accepting herself and stops seeing the failed coming-out as an irreparable mistake, she understands that it’s a period of time and that the way she felt at this specific moment will eventually fade out.
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HELLO GAMERS AND WELCOME TO THE ANIMATION MEME NOSTALGIA BRACKET!!!!!
You been in the animation meme community for longer than 4 years? SAME!! And I'm making a bracket about it! Without further ado lets get into the rules and get your 'Opinions' (hehehe) on the bracket!
-> SUBMISSION FORM [CLOSED!] <-
-> RULES!!! <-
-> Must be from the timeframe of 2006-2019! Any ones after that I would consider to be too new
-> This is not a battle between the artists who made the original memes, it is a battle between the meme song clip itself! TLDR how nostalgic and how much head bopping would you start doing if this song played in your general vicinity
-> When submitting, please submit the original meme! If it was taken down/ privated, just find another one and make sure to list the original makers name
-> As well as if the original meme is labeled 16+ or NSFW/suggestive try to find one that's not. Staring at UnknownSpy intently
-> You can submit multiple animation memes! Don't submit the same one twice though please pretty please. And don't put multiple in the same submission or I will cry and sob intensely
-> BRACKET INFO!!! <-
-> Brackets will be updated (hopefully) every week or so!
-> There'll be (hopefully) a total of 32 or so contestants, depending on how many submissions I get. Could be more could be less I dunno
-> TAG LIST BELOW <-
#on a completely unrelated note < not a poll nor relevant to the bracket
#AM nostalgia attack < poll post
#AM nostalgia calm < not a poll post but relevant to the bracket
-> ABOUT THE MOD <-
Oh is it me time I suppose it's me time. Anyways hi I'm Vector/Jamie at @v3ct0rgraph1cs, I use he/it/wire/beep pronouns, I'm a real life computer robot guy and also the poll mod!!! I've never done a poll bracket before but I've been in the animation meme community for like. 7 years now so I think I'm qualified to do this maybe
I still make animation memes too I only started posting them like 2 years ago when I got toon boom and also a graphics tablet and've been doing it ever since, started from my roots in flipaclip though ✌ my channel is V3CT0RGRAPH1CS if you wanna check it out maybe :]!
Speaking of checking stuff out go check out my partner! They run the @tf2shipswag account and they inspired me to make this one because sillyyyyy, go check it out at @fr0ggs they're very nice and cool and also they take commissions so Get One<3 I'm assaulting you to buy art from my partner /nf
The guy in my pfp his name is Vector he's not me but he might as well be
inspired by @tf2shipswag, @ultimate-objecthead-hoedown, and others :]
#poll tournament#tournament poll#poll bracket#animation meme#pinned post#AM nostalgia calm#AM nostalgia attack#on a completely unrelated note#< bracket tags
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ANOTHER propaganda post for @voidspace-bubble's spore tourney.
GROX SWEEP BABYYYY!
There is a reason my blog is themed around them. There is a REASON my fursona, Who I own a fursuit of, is a Grox. There is a FUCKING REASON they are one of few holdovers from Spore in daybreak. I am SO autistic about them you have no idea. Spore in general is my special interest but something about these little guys specifically just has me ENTRALLED.
They're the big bads of spore. The main villains of space stage. They're built up from the beginning of space stage and are a major obstacle even towards the endgame. You can either ally with them, Which is far easier to do but comes with MANY penalties... Or take on the grueling task of wiping out their entire empire, Which is roughly 2000 planets large and circles the galactic core. And they are one of my absolute FAVORITE parts of the game. First off, The way they're built up. They're built up as a big, scary empire. the antithesis to life. But then you meet them and they fucking LOOK LIKE THIS
Which??? Can I just say. Is fucking IMMACULATE. The sheer contrast with how these guys are described and how they actually LOOK is just... amazing. They're built up as a force to be reckoned with, Everyone is TERRIFIED of them... And yet when you actually meet them? They're short, impish, vaguely cat-like aliens with the saddest, wettest eyes you have ever seen, And incredibly low-level parts at that. The best part? They do genuinely live up to their reputation, Too! I definitely know a lot of people aren't a fan of their design because it's not scary or threatening enough but I personally think the sheer contrast between how they look and what they are makes them MORE scary. What would drive something like that to this point? And that's not even taking into account how goddamned fun they are to draw and stylize. Due to their design being pretty simplistic you can interpret it in many ways... I personally see them as vaguely cat-like, Child-sized humanoid aliens with short fur, But i've met several people out there who see them totally different to how I do. It's VERY interesting.
Second of all, The sheer amount of PERSONALITY these little guys have while you talk to them. Spore's dialogue is great and highly underrated but The Grox? Honestly they're just... The absolute PEAK of what spore's writing can be like. They're super fucking charming. Like there's CLEARLY so much more to them than what you see on the surface... But unfortunately because spore is spore and worldbuilding isn't their top priority, You never really learn what their deal is beyond what is shown to you. But that doesn't stop me and MANY others from having headcanons! I have a whole BOATLOAD of headcanons that I am fucking refraining from talking about here since... This isn't about my own version of them that i've come up with in my head, this is about how they are in canon spore. That IS to say, though... If anyone is interested in hearing more about that please for the love of god LET ME KNOW I could go on for HOURS about my thought on these guys
I'm tired as fuck and this probably sounds SO incoherent because I have so many thoughts that i'm unable to articulate, But i'm so autistic about these guys especially. They're genuinely one of my favorite fictional characters of all time and I really want other people to be able to appreciate them too ^^ They're definitely the creature I would personally like to win the poll. I know it's a pretty damn obvious choice but these little guys genuinely mean a lot to me and I don't think i'd really be the same person I am now without them. I've been fixated on them since like... 2019?? and it's lead me to creating my passion project which I plan on sticking to for years to come.
So, To make a long story short? GROX SWEEP!
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I always have a moment, if I hear a comedian mention the word "Tumblr", of briefly panicking, as I remember that technically they use the same internet as I do and apparently are allowed to see this website. I usually relax if it was before 2015, though. Lots of people knew Tumblr existed before 2015. For some reason, around 2015, maybe slightly later, everyone believed that Tumblr stopped existing. So if it was before that, I figure it's fine. These day they are probably one of the many people in the world who assume Tumblr doesn't exist.
I'm sort of joking about this - as in I do genuinely have a moment of freaking out from hearing them say the word "Tumblr" because I briefly and irrationally somehow feel like they can see me, but I also know there's no need to be genuinely worried, as in real life just because they mentioned a website's name doesn't mean they're on here searching their own name. No one's doing that on Tumblr. It really is why I love this website. No one is here. No one is looking at us. It's not like Instagram where you're posting on the same site where the celebrities you're talking about have their own fucking account.
Except for David O'Doherty, who does have a Tumblr account that he must log into regularly because it has his tour list and that's kept up to date, but he hasn't made any new posts on there in years, I'm pretty sure he just updates the tours and then goes away. It's probably fine. Oh, and there is another comedy-adjacent person who has a Tumblr account and whose name I'm not going to write because I know he does Google himself, he once emailed me to tell me so, and I freaked the fuck out for like a week straight because apparently sometimes in real life they can see us. But it's all right, I'm pretty sure he only looked at one post, took a video off YouTube, moved on, it's fine. It's absolutely fine. It's absolutely fine and I'm not worried about it. No one's looking at me. That guy does have a Tumblr account of his own that was actually updated regularly, though, so that's a bit different. That might explain how he ended up finding my post that mentioned them on here. Most of them don't so they wouldn't come across my posts. (That guy was also very very nice when he emailed me and I love his work and think he seems very cool, which I'm adding on the infinitesimal chance that he's somehow reading this again, extremely unlikely but I'm vaguely paranoid - I'm also saying that because it's true though, he's great and I still listen to his stuff a lot, it's fine, he was nice, I'm just horrified at the idea that any famous people would ever know what I say about them, that's why I hide in this corner over here.)
So there was that incident. There was the day I discovered DO'D's blog, which did freak me out until I saw how long ago it was last updated. There was one time when Russell Howard referenced a Tumblr post on TV, which freaked me out for about half a second before I remembered that it just means one of his writers found a Tumblr post and put it in the script, Russell Howard doesn't personally write that whole autocue. Russell Howard is probably too important to even run his own Twitter account. He's not here.
The worst scare I've had - besides the time a guy actually emailed me - was when I heard Daniel Kitson in 2018, which was far too recently, say the word "Tumblr" to say he disliked someone who had a Twitter blog and a Tumblr blog dedicated to how great he is. That actually did seriously freak me out for a few days (he wasn't talking about me or anything, I made this blog in 2020, but still, didn't love to hear that Kitson apparently searches his own name on Tumblr and gets mad about people having blogs about him), though I felt better when I first heard his most recent show, in which he promises us he hasn't Googled himself since 2019. He wouldn't lie, right? It's probably fine. It's probably fine.
Anyway. As far as moments where I'm listening to a comedian I have posted about on Tumblr and I hear that person say the word "Tumblr" and for a split second my blood runs cold as I think "What the fuck do you know about Tumblr?" - as far as moments like that go, this sure is one. Brief panic, followed by moment of "it's 2014, it's fucking fine, I'm sure they've all forgotten we're here by now", followed by "Jesus Christ, Ian, what the fuck have you been reading, that side of Tumblr is not meant for your eyes", followed by "actually, I still haven't been able to find a list of air dates for their radio episodes but I have a document where I'm saving all the context clues in the hopes of narrowing it down enough to label all the episodes with dates, the fact he described that particular post as 'new' can be a context clue if I go to that blog and dig up that post and find exactly when it went up", followed by, "Jesus Christ this section of the internet should really not be for anyone's eyes, what the hell, look at all those things people wanted to do to David Mitchell, but yep, found the post, it's from late February 2014, that tracks with everything else, I think I'm in the right ballpark on these air dates."
The work of a comedy archivist is hard. Sometimes you have to go through some trenches to get a context clue for an episode air date. You do what you have to do.
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I'm trying to get my wrestling journal caught up, and am succeeding with mixed results. I wrote over 10k words on stuff from July alone, 4k of which were just about AEW Blood & Guts on July 19 (the Golden Lovers' first match back together since 2018). I've been toying with the thought of publishing that piece somewhere where people might actually read it, so I thought why not post it here?
(The usual disclaimer on my journal applies: please don't reprint any of these translations, as they're pretty rough and I haven't gotten them looked over by anyone.)
Kenny Omega & Kota Ibushi & “Hangman” Adam Page & Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson vs Konosuke Takeshita & Jon Moxley & Claudio Castagnoli & Wheeler Yuta & Pac
July 19
I’m at a loss of words to describe this match. Unfortunately, I’m at a loss of images, too. There is nothing I can put in this space that’ll do proper justice to the emotions I felt watching this. But I’ll try.
I don’t think Blood & Guts was the right match format for this story. There are simply too many moving pieces, too many distractions, too much for the cameras to keep up with. But pro wrestling teaches us to see things not as they are, but as they feel, so I will talk about how this match felt.
The feud between The Elite and the Blackpool Combat Club started a long time ago. So long ago that I can’t even pin down an exact start date in my memory. I suppose in some way, it started in the closing moments of the very first AEW show, when Mox made his surprise debut and breathed in his first taste of freedom, stained with Kenny’s blood.
Kenny vs Mox is such old history for AEW, it’s practically primordial. It’s in the company’s DNA.
Like many great wrestling feuds, there’s an ideological disagreement at the heart of this one, a disagreement concerning the fundamental nature of professional wrestling. More than anything, though, it’s about love.
Bryan Danielson said as much in the promo he cut on April 5 after the Blackpool Combat Club attacked Hangman on Dynamite. Interestingly, in this promo, Bryan seems to draw an equivalence between love and true professional wrestling. He treats them as one and the same. He talks about loving Mox, Claudio, and Yuta, whom he goes on to describe as “professionals” in contrast to the Elite, who are “amateurs”, and who don’t have love, or even understand the concept of it.
To Hangman, he says: “And I love these men! I love these men! Do you know what? You don’t have anybody who loves you. Is anybody coming out from the back? No! Not a damn person! ‘Cause nobody loves this man! In fact, they don’t even know what love is! But I know what love is. In fact, when I’ve been at home, I’ve been teaching my kids a few things. A few things about how to fix up your house. And I think the house that is AEW needs to be fixed up. From all these amateurs.”
The house metaphor immediately caught my attention. It reminded me of an extended metaphor that Hangman employed in his monologue from episode 204 of Being The Elite, which was released on May 18, 2020, and which to this day remains one of the few pieces of art about the pandemic that I can actually tolerate. In his metaphor, he compares AEW to a house, and The Elite are both in the house and they are the house.
In Hangman’s own words: “I nearly won the prestigious ‘Man of the House’ award in May. I’d teamed up with our broom to clean the house better than anyone had ever swept it before. And I feel like I might have been starting to… patch up the holes of the walls of the house. The walls that made the house what it was in the first place.”
The Man of the House award is his failed attempt to become AEW World Champion in May 2019. Teaming up with the broom refers to his tag team with Kenny and their 6-star tag title match with the Young Bucks, which was considered by many people to be the best tag match in history. And the Elite are the walls. He’s talking about the slow, tentative process of repairing his relationship with the faction that quite literally made AEW.
I suppose in a very literal sense, The Elite are in AEW and also are AEW, in the sense that they’re the “Elite” in “All Elite Wrestling”. Hangman’s mixed metaphor is only as messy as reality.
The “AEW as a house” metaphor came up again two years later, on May 25, 2022, in a now infamous promo segment building up to Hangman vs CM Punk at Double or Nothing, where, with just two words, Hangman unknowingly set off a chain of events that would end up almost tearing the entire company apart, though no one realized it at the time.
He tells Punk: “You talk a big game about workers rights, yeah? Well, you’ve shown the exact opposite since you’ve gotten here. I love this place! I care about this place! This is my home! And this Sunday at Double or Nothing, I will not, I will not be defending this championship against you. No, for the first time in my life, I will be defending All Elite Wrestling from you.”
And Punk tells him: “Win, lose, or draw, I respect you, Hangman. But remember, those roads you traveled to get here? They were paved by me. This house that you built? It was constructed with lumber from trees that I chopped down. The world you traveled to get here, to create All Elite Wrestling, happened because I gave you the blueprint.”
Hangman fails to defend the championship against Punk. And in the months that follow, he fails to defend All Elite Wrestling from Punk, too. The philosophical divide was so true to reality and so exquisitely foreshadowed that it caused me to initially assume that the rumored backstage altercation between Punk and The Elite was part of an intricate work that connected back to this very promo. I was more right than I knew, but I didn’t know that the reason for the connection was not because it was a well-planned story, but because the conflict at the center of the story was real.
AEW is the house that Hangman built, and Punk says that it was made with lumber from trees that he chopped down. In saying so, he takes credit for The Elite’s work and implies that without them, he could simply fill the space left by their absence on his own.
But can he? Can anyone? Can there be an All Elite Wrestling without The Elite, or would the whole building crumble without its walls? For a few months in late 2022, we got to experience AEW without The Elite. It was not a particularly encouraging time for the company.
Which brings us here, to 2023. Bryan Danielson says that the house that is AEW needs to be fixed up. He doesn’t think the Elite can compare to the Blackpool Combat Club, not in terms of love or in terms of pro wrestling.
I’ll admit, when Bryan said that The Elite don’t even know what love is, I laughed. Kenny Omega has centered his entire wrestling career around love, to the point where “A Wrestling Love Story” is in the title of his documentary. I once heard someone sum him up by saying “in pro wrestling, you can choose to be whatever you want to be, and Kenny Omega chose to be in love.”
Before he beat Kazuchika Okada to win the IWGP Heavyweight Championship in 2018 in what is widely considered to be the best match of his career, Kenny said: “I’m not saying that I’m arriving to this arena with a bunch of new moves, but I am saying that this version of Kenny Omega might be the most prepared. And a big part of that is because I’ve let someone back into my life that I cared about, that I loved, and that together with that power, we can’t lose.”
He says basically the same thing outside of kayfabe as well. In his documentary, he credits Kota’s support as being essential for preparing him physically and emotionally so that he’d be ready to pour his heart out in a match that he knew was going to last over an hour. Many of the hard lessons that his character had to learn about the pain of isolation and loneliness, and the redemptive power of love, are things that Kenny himself had struggled with.
In 2018, Kenny once gestured to Chuck Taylor and Trent Beretta, the Best Friends, and said “This is what friendship looks like.” Then he put his arm around Kota and said, “And this is what love looks like.” This is a man who knows what love is. He knows the pain of love as keenly as he knows the triumph and the sweetness of it.
In a way, I think of Kota not coming with Kenny to AEW as sort of the original heartbreak. It’s there in the background subtext of the entire major arc of AEW’s first chapter. It’s an unhealed wound that only leads to more hurt as time goes on.
Which brings us to Blood & Guts. The Blackpool Combat Club and The Elite are both lacking a 5th member for the match. The BCC has Jon Moxley, Claudio Castagnoli, and Wheeler Yuta, but not Bryan Danielson (who is out with an injury). Their fourth member is Konosuke Takeshita, who is fighting with a single-minded purpose, which is to surpass Kenny Omega. Their fifth member later turns out to be Pac, who has no real immediate story reason to be there, besides past grudges. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, and all that.
The Elite has Kenny Omega, Hangman Adam Page, and Matt and Nick Jackson. I can’t recall the precise moment I knew that Kota Ibushi would be their fifth member, but it was before the Blood & Guts match was even announced.
The moment I knew for sure, though, was when I saw this clip, which was filmed after Dynamite on July 5. Speaking to the crowd, Kenny says that during the week when his whereabouts were unknown, he didn’t stay home, and he didn’t go to Canada. “But where I went was for a good old friend, someone who is very near and dear to my heart.” He smiles when he says that last part, and his smile alone is a dead giveaway.
If there was any remaining doubt, this article by Michael Nakazawa on the DDT site cleared it up for me. The article sums up Konosuke Takeshita’s AEW story, which of course I know very well, but I wanted to see Nak’s take on it. This part was another giveaway that Kota Ibushi was going to be the 5th person on The Elite’s side: "そして竹下が抜け一人欠けたジ・エリート側には誰が入るのか?DDTファンにとっては竹下とケニーという顔合わせは見逃せないものになるだろう。(ここで多く触れるつもりはないがジ・エリート側の伏せられたメンバーとの顔合わせも見逃せないものになるだろう。) " (“And with Takeshita out, The Elite are down a member. Who will fill in on their side? DDT fans won’t want to miss the face-off between Takeshita and Kenny. (I’m not going to touch on it too much, but I’m sure that the confrontation with the unknown member of The Elite is also something not to be missed.”)
On July 12, the week before Blood & Guts, they reveal the 5th member of the Elite’s team. The Blackpool Combat Club has Kenny at their mercy, a chair around his neck. Mox offers him the microphone so that he can say his last words. Kenny says, “We still have a fifth member, too.” He’s laughing, even though he struggles to breathe. “Check the screen. Check the screen, you bitch.” The look on his face is absolutely serene.
The arena goes dark. Kota’s new music plays, though the crowd doesn’t recognize it. But everyone cheers when he shows up onscreen. I’d been wondering if a Canadian crowd would be more familiar with Kota Ibushi than an American one, since I’ve heard that the TV station that AEW airs on frequently plays Kenny’s documentary, so many regular AEW watchers in Canada likely have seen it. This crowd certainly knows who he is.
At the end of the video, The Elite is now listed as the Golden Elite instead.
The lights turn back on. The Young Bucks and Hangman are here now, ready to save Kenny. As the Blackpool Combat Club clears out of the ring, Kenny picks up the mic. He says, “We might be one man down, but we’re never out. Next week, Blood & Guts, we’re gonna show you guys it’s more than about fighting, it’s more than about your kill-jitsu; this is about more than that. Heart, passion, soul, friendship, love.” He smiles as he says love, his voice almost breaking.
He knows they’ve already won. Kota Ibushi is coming, and it’s all going to be okay.
After the reveal, Kota tweeted about it (he also posted it in English). That “AEW見ていたよ、ずっとね” (“I’ve been watching AEW, this whole time”) line in particular, I am overcome. I don’t even know how to put into words what it felt like to read that. Golden Lovers fans have been waiting four long years for Kota Ibushi to make an AEW appearance.
I don’t think any of us expected it would be anything like this.
Kota arrived in the US a few days before the match. He tweeted a photo of him and Kenny and Nak at Kenny’s house, which still feels utterly surreal to me.
And here at last we’ve reached the match.
I’m going to preface this by saying that AEW did a spectacularly bad job with the production on this match, which isn’t exactly unusual for them, but I’m less forgiving with this one. I think every single time the Golden Lovers started interacting, the camera basically immediately cut away. It’s hard to interpret it as intentional malice, considering how bad their usual production is, but it was jarring how little the production team seemed to understand what people actually wanted to see here.
The photos on the official website are also an incredibly poor selection (Kota and Takeshita aren’t in a single one of them), which seems to be a theme with every Blood & Guts show. And because AEW bans fan photography, if Scott Lesh isn’t there, and the official photographers drop the ball, we’re basically entirely out of luck. I got desperate enough, I actually attempted the bold and unprecedented strategy of just asking AEW for access to more photos. I couldn’t get them retroactively, unfortunately, but I should have more photos for shows going forward.
The whole thing made me extra appreciative of the work of Japanese fan photographers, who are so good at not only capturing vivid and dynamic photographs of moves, but who also capture the quieter moments, like exchanges between wrestlers at the corner. A lot of pro wrestling lives in those quiet moments, not in the bloody violence or flashy athleticism.
I think fundamentally that’s where me and this match were at odds. I was watching for the quiet moments, and what AEW thought they were delivering to viewers was the blood and violence.
In the end, the Golden Lovers were only one of like a dozen things that were going on in this match. So ultimately, it wasn’t really about them. I’m more at peace with that fact now at the time of writing, over a month after the match, than I was when I watched the match live. I think when you’ve waited so long for something that means so much to you, it’s almost impossible not to be disappointed when you finally get that thing, because it’s competing with all of the versions of it that played out in your head.
Kenny entered first for their team, and Kota entered last. The two of them were the bookends for the Golden Elite, the beginning and the end, containing the entirety of the faction between them. Kenny wore fully Kota Ibushi themed gear, so the two of them matched. The Young Bucks and Hangman had their own set of matching gear, which was white and purple in contrast to the Golden Lovers’ white and blue (I’m sure this divide won’t become important later).
Leading up to this match, the Blackpool Combat Club had repeatedly had The Elite’s number. They’d beaten them up more times than I can count, had mutilated them with screwdrivers, and had dragged Kenny through the hell of Don Callis’s and Takeshita’s betrayal.
But now The Elite had their secret weapon. They were finally whole again.
From the second act onward, as soon as Kota Ibushi, the final member, made his entrance, the story of the match was that the Golden Elite needed him to save them. Whenever things started going too badly for them, he’d come in and change the course of the match so that it was in their favor. Every time.
I think my favorite spot in the match involved this horrific bed of nails which turned out to actually be a bed of screwdrivers. Very thematically apt. Mox was laid out on it, and Kota approached him, and I knew immediately what he was about to do, yet still gasped when he actually did it. He did his trademark standing moonsault, his knees impacting directly with Mox’s chest, driving Mox’s body deeper into the screwdriver heads.
The Golden Lovers reunited over Mox’s prone body. They reached for each other in relief, and I looked to see their expressions, my heart pounding, and the camera had already cut away from them.
Some other things I remember: Matt Jackson poured a sack of thumbtacks down from the roof of the cage into the ring, and Pac stomped Nick Jackson through a table in a dramatic spot that looked far better in the replays than it had in the original shot. Mox brought the wild violence probably more than anyone else in the match.
I wish we’d gotten a little more with Takeshita and Kota, as it was their first time sharing a ring together in many years. But this match wasn’t really about that, either.
In the final minutes of the match, Pac and Claudio get into an argument, then Pac cuts his losses and bails. Don Callis pulls Takeshita out shortly after, realizing that their side is almost definitely losing. The match has now become a 5-on-3.
The Golden Elite unleash everything they have left onto poor Wheeler Yuta. Then they hoist him up with the chain around his neck, and he starts to pass out. The referee calls for the bell. I didn’t realize exactly what had happened at first, because the production failed to show it, but it was actually Mox who had ended the match. He surrendered to save Yuta.
Someone summed up the story very succinctly in a discord screenshot from somewhere. A person with the display name “V….” said: “So in the end the story is that despite how much conflict the Elite have had over the years when the time came, they were the ultimate cohesive unit and the BCC, despite how much they crow about being professionals and loving each other, had to rely on mercenaries that coincidentally had grudges against the Elite that bailed because they didn’t have as much skin in the game and in the end Moxley, a man who tries to portray himself as nothing but violent and merciless, had to surrender to save his protege in practically a perfect mirror of him submitting to Hangman at Revolution.”
For once, I actually found myself in near perfect agreement with what seems to be the IWC’s general consensus of the story of that match. I really liked how my friend described it: “mox literally had to surrender to love in more ways than one”.
The end of the match ran up against the end of their TV timeslot, the enemy of televised wrestling in America, though we did get one final shot of the Golden Lovers together right as the show went off the air. The post-match stuff didn’t quite make it onto the show, but some fans captured video of it. Kenny spoke on the mic for a bit, and one of the things he said is that we’ll probably be seeing Kota in AEW again.
Kota was unfortunately at a pretty severe disadvantage this whole match for several reasons. This was only his third match since coming back from his 2021 injury, for one thing, and it was much more demanding than either of his GCW matches in March. It was also a match style he was not at all accustomed to, and it was his first time wrestling in AEW.
We found out in a tweet he made later that he hadn’t realized that his normal wrestling shoes wouldn’t be well-suited for the match, so the thumbtacks and glass pierced through his shoes and hurt him throughout the match. Reminds me a bit of the original Little Mermaid story, where every step the mermaid takes on land hurts…
He didn’t actually come in contact much with the thumbtacks during the match itself, besides the ones that made it through his shoes. The thumbtacks in the photo in the above tweet came into play after the match. When they went off the air, Kota intentionally threw himself onto the thumbtacks, just for fun. Kenny had a pretty funny reaction, haha. He looked at him like he knew he’d be the person picking every single one of those tacks out of Kota’s back later.
And sure enough, Being The Elite featured a clip of Kenny doing exactly that. They talk briefly in Japanese while Kenny’s taking the tacks out of Kota’s back. Here’s a transcription of the Japanese. I love how Kenny takes care of Kota before getting his own wounds tended to, despite his own back being in far worse shape.
Kota explained the reason why he jumped into the tacks in a reply to El Desperado (English translation) (Despy also recently took a totally unnecessary tack bump himself). Since it was Kota’s first time in AEW, he decided to take a bump onto the tacks in lieu of a greeting. I think he knew that he really had to do something memorable to leave a strong impression in the minds of all of the American fans who’d never seen him before, so this is what he chose to do. It did make me smile seeing the reactions from Japanese fans. As soon as that moment happened, a lot of Japanese fans on twitter were like, “yep, that’s him; Kota Ibushi is back”.
After the match, apparently all ten of the guys in it were visibly emotional that they’d gotten that chance to wrestle each other, and Matt Jackson had them all sign one of his shoes so that he had a memento to remember the occasion by.
In Kenny’s unaired post-match promo, he says, “I'm a lover, not a fighter. You guys don't know by now, I'm a lover, not a fighter. There's one thing I learned throughout this rivalry of ours. When push comes to shove, you guys are as tough as they come. You taught us what it means to not only be a professional wrestler, but to be a wrestler.” He says, “I'm willing to stick my hand out and shake yours if you guys wanna let bygones be bygones, because love you or freaking hate you, Moxley, love you or hate you, Claudio, love you or hate your ugly ass [to Wheeler Yuta], I respect each and every one of you.”
And that’s that. The end of the feud.
In an interview, Claudio said what they wanted to come across was that: “We lost that battle, but we won the war. Thanks to the Blackpool Combat Club, now The Elite is better than ever. We brought them to a place they’ve never been.”
In a way, the BCC did end up fixing up the house that is AEW. They patched up the walls by bringing the Golden Elite back together, thus repairing the original heartbreak that was what caused the cracks to form initially. The Golden Elite is the best version of The Elite. It is their truest form, shining with love.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CvC9uVHOHJZ/
https://twitter.com/JJWilliamsWON/status/1682966137187778560
#see my wrestling journal for most of my wrestling writing this year that is not my TJPW translations! (some of those are in there too)#hoping to get it caught up by the beginning of october but i'm not optimistic jkfdghdfg#i also want to be back on tumblr properly but i've been so busy lately... rip#golden lovers#wrassling#love and genuine feeling
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Eurovision 2024 first impressions
Wasn't sure what to listen to at work, and then I remembered that all the Eurovision songs have now been released! So I thought I'd give 'em a listen.
Until today, I'd heard small clips of the songs in Youtube top 36 lists. That was it.
Caveat 1: I've paid zero attention to any of the national finals, so I'm blissfully ignorant of 90% of whatever drama happened in those.
Caveat 2: Everything below is the personal subjective opinion of me, a knobhead on Tumblr. You will probably disagree with a lot of it and that's fine.
Caveat 3: "Why are you not boycotting when Israel are-" Yes, I know. I do follow the news. I'm not going to go into why I'm not boycotting because that's not what this post is for, but I promise I have thought about it and can explain my reasons.
So, with that out of the way:
Croatia: Strong start! I really like this, and get why it's one of the favourites! I might be on Team Croatia this year- I'd love the winner to be someone who hasn't won before, or hasn't won for decades!
Netherlands: It's... alright, I guess? But I'm not sure it's as funny as it thinks it is, and might get a bit old fairly quickly.
Switzerland: This is interesting, and a nice break from their pattern of the past few years. I'll be happy if this does well :)
Italy: I like this better than I thought I would, based on the little clips I've seen. Still a bit confused about why it seems to be topping literally all the Youtube rankings, though.
Austria: Meh
Sweden: This is the ONE song I couldn't make it all the way through. I, yeah, sorry, I hate it. Sounds AI generated. Sweden, please, you have good music, I know you do, I've heard it, you don't need to send this kind of crap every other year, please!
Ukraine: Ukraine my beloved, always understanding the assignment <3
Greece: Way more interesting than the clip I'd heard previously made it sound!
Germany: This is exactly what I was afraid would happen if LotL didn't do well. I'm getting flashbacks to Michael Rice and his 2019 last place.
Belgium: Meh
Cyprus: Extremely Meh. This is like a composite of every bland, inoffensive, radio 1 song ever.
France: It's a nice ballad. 'For the Mum's, I think is the phrase. S'fine.
UK: Apparently 'obnoxious ear worms' is my country's new schtick. Although like Italy, I do like this a bit more than I thought I would. Also starting to notice a lot of the songs sounding a bit 80's-lite?
Georgia: S'fine, I guess. 50/50 as to whether it breaks their NQ streak.
Malta: Wow, there are a lot of trendy girl pop songs that I have absolutely no feelings about this year.
Armenia: This is enjoyable and I respect it.
Azerbaijan: Another Whelming-to-decent one, but I do like that they're singing in their own language for the first time!
Albania: Snore
Australia: I get what they were going for, but I find this a bit cheesy.
Ireland: Look at Ireland taking a risk! I so, so, hope this works out for them and breaks their NQ streak! I am slightly concerned, just because this is the kind of experimental that can be difficult to translate to a three minute stage performance, but if they give it the creativity it needs it could be their best entry in years!
Lithuania: A nice little catchy thing. Quite like it.
Denmark: Oof, Denmark really are in their wilderness years, aren't they? Look, this isn't bad, but there are a lot of songs that sound similar to this, and this has 'lost in the shuffle' written all over it.
Poland: There's nothing about this that makes it stand out from all the other trendy-girl-pop-songs objectively, but I do have a soft spot for this one.
Spain: This is really cute! I think I've found my favourite Big 5 :)
Czechia: Oh look, we have some pop-punk this year. Cool.
Serbia: I'm... not feeling much for this *now*, but I think it might grow on me once I've heard it a few times.
Finland: I am CACKLING
Portugal: I'm a bit undecided about this, tbh. Might have to see how it is live.
Norway: I knew I'd quite like this, and I do! I feel like the live performance is really going to make or break it though.
Luxembourg: So I've heard this song is *also* Israeli propaganda, and if that's true, a) that sucks, because Luxembourg, mate, this is your re-entry, you didn't want this, and b) it's disconcertingly cheerful.
Estonia: Whatever this is, it has no business going this hard.
San Marino: Another pop-punk. I'm a bit more intrigued by this one than the Czech one. I can't see it doing amazingly, but if the performance is good it could get San Marino a rare Q.
Slovenia: It's OK. Seemed like it was going somewhere and then... didn't.
Israel: Was debating whether to ignore this (and sit there wondering about it), or give in and listen to it once so I could stop caring. Went for the latter. You'll be relieved to know it's bland as shit. The inevitable background booing might even be an improvement.
Iceland: I didn't get Hera Bjork in 2010 and I don't get her now.
Latvia: I really want Latvia to break their NQ streak, especially with how they were basically robbed by the semi draw last year, but this just... needs to be more than it is. A really good live performance could save it, maybe? I don't know. I wanted to like this but I'm not hopeful.
Moldova: Slovenia Two. Another one that was sort of going somewhere for a minute, and then stopped.
In conclusion:
So much Eurodance
So much 80's
Loooads of really similar songs. More than usual. Some of them are inevitably going to cancel each other out.
The "everyone follows the runner ups of the previous year" trend seems to be holding, with lots of similar-vein-as-Noa-Kirels, and a few similar-vein-as-Kaarijas.
This is definitely a year that's less my cup of tea. That's OK. I was spoilt last year. And there are still some solid entries.
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(I’m pretty sure the way I type is recognizable but I need to like pretend at anonymity bc I feel. Remarkably silly about this)
I wanted to like idk rant to someone in the HB fandom who isn’t balls deep in the “anti proship” sphere bc like, I’ve been struggling w guilt over enjoying a certain ship that everyone hates and considers problematic (I think Loona and Octavia is rlly cute!) and I’d like to make content for it but I also rlly fear being seen as like a pedophile. Do u ever worry abt that kind of thing? And is there anyway ur able to get over it if u do? I don’t like getting into anti/anti anti discourse bc I feel like it’s a very reductive way to view and interpret media but I still have a crazy amount of worry/guilt
First off, it is still ridiculous to me that this is even a problem in this fandom. This is an adult show about characters in Hell, and the main characters are, respectively, assassins and the eclectic cast of the Hotel which includes a cannibal serial killer. (I am eternally both amused and completely baffled that like half the awful puritanical takes I see are from Val icons. Buddy. Pal. The fucked up fiction is coming from inside the house.) I saw waaaaay more fucked up shit on Zim nsfw twitter than I see on Hellaverse twitter and that show was Y7. Up your game, guys.
Personally, I don't really see Loona and Via as siblings/sisters as much as I think a lot of others do, more just friends (and honestly I think canon moved much too quickly to give them such a heartfelt scene together, they hadn't even met officially before that point?) so it's really only the age thing and even then, the plot of HB has seemed to imply that a fair amount of time has passed since the series started, probably around a year- so Via would be 18 or older by the time anything actually started anyway, especially if they became friends first. Setting aside the 'justification' though... they're not real. They're cute together, I agree, and I think you should be perfectly fine enjoying them just in the lens of 'they're similar, I like how they'd interact, and I think they're cute together'!
I was pretty much forged in my opinions about this from Invader Zim stuff, where people insisted that liking two characters that I'd liked together since I was thirteen made you a pedophile. Obviously, I could tell that wasn't true, because it had never been the case in all those years up to people starting to be bitchy about it in 2019. (Before that, it was that it was bad because it was enemies to lovers and, more importantly, gay. Great hater throne to inherit, guys!)
Unfortunately... as stupid as it is, this fandom is way more puritanical than it should be, so it wouldn't be wrong to engage through anonymity to protect yourself. Find the people in the tag who are using 'proship/proship interact' or something along those lines (I've seen a few, although some tend to lean more on hard/dead dove content), post on ao3 into the anonymous collection which removes your name, make a tumblr sideblog that doesn't connect to your main, find fellow shippers and interact with them specifically. Do whatever you need to do to keep yourself safe from people who can't understand that thinking something is cute or interesting to explore in fiction is automatically bad just because they don't like it. The more stuff that's put out there about the ship, the more likely you are to find kindred spirits, that's honestly part of how I gathered my mpreg weirdos to me in both this fandom and the last.
I'm pretty sure that the callout I got for Sunny was why several mutuals who were a friend group unfollowed (and likely muted) me on twitter. Unfortunately, it left me worrying that the other shoe was going to drop any day for about a week because it got just enough notes to make me worry but not enough to get to anyone with any real reach to spread and get it 'over with'.
At this point, I've sort of reached a state of 'fuck it', because if it happens, it happens. I know that I'm fine, and the people I genuinely care about know that too. I know that what I'm making is entirely separate from my morals as a person, if not from how dumb the IZ stuff was than from the fact that I was an English major. Literature is full of stuff that authors don't make as a 1:1 with their real-life morals! And the one you're thinking about isn't 'bad' comparatively at all.
I think the fandom is starting to see that being a dick about fictional content is bad through the backlash to Poison and 'hey, maybe telling somebody that they need to detail their trauma to the public to make fiction is bad?', but it seems to mostly be centered on dub/noncon, so I wouldn't necessarily hold my breath.
At the end of the day though, remember this: You, as a person, are completely fine, no matter what others might think. Octavia and Loona would probably be seen as a totally normal ship like ten years ago (except for people who'd be dicks about them being gay) and there is no judgement to be made on your character in any reasonable way for thinking they're a good ship. You're not a pedophile for thinking a fictional owl and hellhound look cute together, any more than I was for smacking together two Nicktoon characters, and frankly the IZ argument held slightly more water than 'the almost-18-year-old and the 22-year-old' because Zim's age was so ambigious. Try explaining this 'people think the young adult animals holding hands are bad' to any adult who isn't sucked into fandom discourse and they'd probably be baffled that it's a problem.
I know that the guilty feelings aren't always rational and it took a bit of time for me to unwind how I felt about creating certain stuff too, but try to remember that above all else- exploring things in fiction has been a thing people have done for a very, very long time. What matters is your actions towards other real people, not what you do with fictional dolls.
If nothing else, if you want you can always send me a dm and chat that way, I'd be happy to talk.
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Do you have any advice for someone who wanna start writing but is too scared and don't know where to start
you seem really cool and your writing is truly amazing and I wish you a good day or night!
Hey anon! Firstly- thank you so much for the kind words! I appreciate them immensely, and I wish the same to you :) I'm not the best with advice, but I'll share what I've learned from my time here on Tumblr :3
Under the cut for length :3
Being scared is a completely valid feeling, especially when we're first starting out. Hell- it's still scary some days, and I've been doing this since October 2019 😅
I will say though- that fear gets easier to manage the longer you're doing it. What starts off as anxiety on whether or not people are gonna like your work turns into a feeling of excitement as you get ready to share your creation.
Does it make hitting the post button any easier? Sometimes. Are they're days where I wanna launch myself out a window after I press the post button and run Charlotte from Black Clover style?
You betcha! :D But when you love doing something, and you wanna do it bad enough, it's so worth it :) I think everyone here has felt those nervous jitters to some degree when we first started out in our little community (or whatever community you ultimately find yourself in), so you're never alone, anon :)
All that being said- there's never any pressure or time frame for when you're ready. Hobbies like writing are meant to be fun and relaxing, so if you know you're not ready to make your debut on Tumblr, you don't have to. When you are ready, you'll know- and you'll be able to hit that post button! All and all- I'm rooting for you, anon! I hope when you are ready to start writing here, you'll have only good times and an absolute blast! (And of course- if you ultimately choose to write for yourself alone and not post it- I hope that your writing journey is a fun one full of things you wanna write and see with your favorite characters and settings! :D)
As for where to start- that's ultimately up to you. I can't tell you how to start it, but I can give you some quick tips (And also- if anyone wants to hop into the replies and share their advice, please feel free to do so!)
1.) Formatting is key. It doesn't have to be anything fancy-shmancy; just be sure to space out paragraphs and use proper punctuation so your work is readable. Don't sweat over the occasional typo- I know my work is always littered with them ajejrajer; and if you ever need help with your writing- don't be afraid to reach out and ask :) There are plenty of us here who'll gladly help you out if you need it!
2.) Don't be afraid to interact with people. I've seen a lot of really cool peeps here in the community, and I can say for the most part we're pretty chill klerjkajkrjk I myself am fairly awkward in DMs but I don't bite unless you want me to (Jokes!...Unless 👀 karkekjlarkjlerkj) Okay but really- the best part about being in a community is having people around you who like similar things you do and to share ideas with. It can be a bit intimidating at times (especially if you're like me and have social anxiety plus you've been a fan of a lot of people prior to making a blog) but it's worth it. I'm truly grateful for the people I've met here in this community- both those who I talk to on a daily basis and those who I might only interact with on occasion :) It's a lot less scary once you get to know everyone here jkaekrjajkr :3
3.)The golden rule: Have fun with it. Highlight it, circle it, put Patrick Star in fishnets on it- this is the golden rule!!! Tumblr is a hellsite that can fall off the face of the planet at any given moment, so we might as well make our time here as fun as possible! :D
Going back to the whole writing for you thing- if there's fandoms you love and want to write for, do it! Is it niche? Write it anyway! Has anyone heard of it? Well, now they have, haven't they? Is there literally no demand for this fandom/character/setting? Well- if you want it, then there's your demand. Don't be afraid to change it up and make your blog/writing whatever feels best. Crack fics, serious fics, a combination of everything in between- whatever you feel like making, I say do it! :D As long as your having fun, that's all that matters!
Ultimately- how you go about your writing journey is your call, anon. I don't know if anything I said today helped, but I'm rooting for you and all the things you'll make. If you ever decide to make your writings public here on Tumblr, let me know- I'll gladly check them out! :D Take your time, have fun, curate your experience and kick some butt, friend!
#squiggily speaks#ask#anon#writing and blog advice#chatting with the fluff monsters#I'm by no means an expert obvs#but this is what I've always believed in when I started my blog#hopefully this helps even a little bit :)#thank you for coming by and asking- here's to you! *cheers*
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For the fanfic author asks do you want to talk about: 6, 30, and/or 42?
Thanks, @palmofafreezinghand
6. How do you come up with ideas?
In fanfic, I write the stories I want to read for which I can't find a version I love. Almost all of my fics come from me basically just wanting to be a voyeur: "The Talk," my first fic, was me reading the line in BD where Edward mentioned he'd talked to Carlisle about having sex and me thinking, "Well now that had to have been an interesting conversation!" So I wrote what I thought happened. They also come from conversations with people--Ithaca Is Gorges came from talking with my bestest bestie about the fact that as you get older, you start realizing that your parents are fallible people, and that one of the biggest problems with the Twilight saga is that Bella is taking Edward at face value when he has not ever managed to get to that point with Carlisle and Esme. So what do the Cullens look like when they're not filtered by Edward?
Also I was trained to write characters first; plot second. So "ideas" for me usually are "okay, in this situation, how would this character logically respond, given all the things they hold dear, are afraid of, think are at stake?" I don't think of plots first. Plots emerge (and frustratingly, keep emerging.)
30. What do you struggle with most when writing?
Perfectionism. So, so much perfectionism. I very often see something that needs to go first before I can write the second thing, and then if I can't write the first thing, it doesn't matter if the second thing is more white hot. It's the main reason I've shifted to fully drafting long fics and only posting fics that consist of what are effectively related one-shots: Cien Años right now has been stuck because there's a chapter with Rose and Esme I need in order to establish something about what Esme thinks of Carlisle before I go to one of Esme and Carlisle 70 years later. But I've been having issues with that one. I will obsess over pieces of a work and over individual sentences until they truly pass muster, and, if I decide there's something else that belongs in the work, I will edit it later. I appreciated your tag comment btw, and also laughed about it because I revise everything. Sideblog answers? Yep. Headcanon posts? Yep. This post? Yep! I will move beats around in a sentence on a reddit post so that it has the rhythm I want it to have, even though there's absolutely no creative merit in it at all.
I used to be way better at just writing and letting stuff stick but not anymore. The other day one of my collaborators talked about her writing process and described mine as "Oh and then [giselle-lx] just produces these perfect sentences that say exactly what we all mean" and I was like, "No I have just already edited five times before I put them into Overleaf!"
42. How do you get over writers' block?
I...don't? I'm staring at a fic in Scrivener that hasn't been updated since 2019 and which I started drafting in 2010. And like I said above, been stuck on another work for a year.
But the thing which works the most reliably is reading. When I read, whether nonderivative stuff (which is mostly what I read--I am a bad fanfic reader, I confess!) or fic, my brain starts sparking with ideas and then I can get going again. If I'm struggling to get words down, it's usually a sign I need to read more.
Oh and the other thing which reliably creates writing is getting the hell off social media. Every single time I am serious about that practice, my brain just rebels at how bored it is and starts writing. "Ordinary Time" happened after I deprived my brain of social media for a month, and "Drying Up" happened after I deprived it for merely a long weekend. I know this in my soul, and yet... :/ :shakes fist at Mark Zuckerberg:
Ask me things!
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