#I don't think I'll actually do it any time soon I'm just curious lol

[luckykiwiii101]

😭😭😭 I ENTERED THE VOID STATE AND IT'S LITERALLY CHANGED MY WHOLE VOCAL CORDS!!! Like, WHOA. 😱 You guys don't even understand. Before all of this, I was a mess. Lemme tell you the full tea.

So like, I used to cry at night, scrolling through Tumblr, seeing everyone else manifesting their dream lives while I was stuck in the same old cycle. 😩 You KNOW the feeling! I even DELETED my Tumblr at one point because I was SO sick of seeing everyone else actually living their dreams, but then I would redownload it like the next day because I couldn't resist!! And then...the whole studying-for-exams thing? LOL don't even get me started. Like, I'd be like "I'll just enter the void state before my exams and manifest straight A's or whatever" (spoiler alert: I didn't.) I'm never really failed any subjects. At least not badly😬

I was starting to get frustrated, right? So then, one day, I was like OKAY, FINE. TIME TO ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING. And that's when I started SATS (State Akin To Sleep). It sounded crazy at first, but honestly, I was down to try anything! (Even while coping with my MADD. Yes I'm one of them. No I'm never getting rid of it.) So I started visualizing my dream life, and LET ME TELL YOU, I GOT SO DETAILED. I was in Velaris with Rhysand (I'm an ACOTAR fan), feeling his WINGS!!! I was literally touching them and just imagining how amazing it would feel to be surrounded by magic and beauty. And I wasn't even thinking about entering the void or anything. I was just feeling the vibezzz. Like, I know that it felt real, and that's what mattered.

Fast forward to a month and 3 weeks of doing SATS (Yes, I skipped some days, but WHO CARES? 😤). And guess what happened? I woke up today, and BOOM! I was in the void! Like, I didn’t even need to know how it happened, it just DID. I just said "Anything i say comes true exactly the way I want it." I said it over and over and over. Until I decided it was enough. Then I thought of leaving, and I was back in my room. Thank goodness I didn't think of leaving when I first entered, because this was literally like a lifetime opportunity I couldn't screw it up.

I actually had to safeguard myself, by saying "I am not impulsive". And the urge to say nonsense just disappeared ✨ That was the first thing I said when I woke up. So I wouldn't say any crazy shit. And so I was sitting there, ready to just start manifesting everything I ever wanted. I even started writing my script. maybe that was just an adrenaline rush.

But here’s the thing...GUYS, NOW THAT I’M HERE....in my room with this "ability"...I’m actually kinda missing my old self. Not the sad, desperate me, but the me who was SUPER EXCITED about just wandering around Velaris at night and dreaming of all this happening. Like, I actually miss that excitement. Looking through Pinterest and seeing the interior of a mansion, and be like "I'll be there soon", seeing pics of tasty food on instagram and saying "I'll eat that soon" I know it sounds crazy, but when you finally get everything you thought you wanted, it’s like...IDK...a little too perfect? 😬

Like, I know this sounds wild— and weird, but it’s TRUE. It's true for me right now. I'm gonna be blunt. The success story is not as exciting when you’re like actually living it, you know? Or maybe it's just me. Like, I’m just over here typing this at 4 AM, feeling kinda melancholic. And kinda (scared). Yes, I wanna enjoy my desires, but... I don't know. I don't want to get too curious and stray from Velaris trying to find out the secret behind ALL of this. For goodness sake, this is crazy!!! My voice is a genie!. It's already bugging me now. I know, I KNOW, this is probably not what you expected from a success story, but I’m being REAL.

I’ve written like 3 pages of my script so far, and I’m just gonna finish it tomorrow. No rush. Because honestly? Rhysand’s not going anywhere. 😉

And YOU can do this too. I know some of you might feel like “Oh, it’s impossible, I keep failing!” but like, just take a second and realize YOU'RE ALREADY GETTING CLOSER THAN YOU THINK. I was stuck too, and look where I am now. Don't look at the part where— I'm kinda ungrateful. But the part where I'm finally gonna meet Rhysand. YOU’RE SO CLOSE. It’s all coming together, trust me! 💖✨

But yeah, it’s 4 AM, I’m gonna go back to bed now, lol. Don’t let the void stress you out, okay? Take it easy. You’ve got this. ✨✌🏼

Also, love you kiwiii💖💖💖💖

SUCCESS STORY

XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL

First of all, I’m so happy for you and proud of you. You really put your foot down and gave yourself what you wanted.

I can understand what you mean when you say the success story isn’t exciting when you’re actually living it. But when it’s right in-front of you, it doesn’t feel like this out of reach thing you’ve put on a pedestal anymore. It’s just yours. And it feels normal.

But for some people, I think a big part of that came from the dopamine rush people would feel when they’d tell themselves that they’ll have it one day. And when they have it in the 3D, they just feel peaceful with it because there’s nothing to “chase” anymore.

I agree with most of what you said apart from “you’re so close”. With the law of assumption there is no process. You ARE the void. Anyway enjoy having your desires. I’m really happy for you!!😭 Love you too beautiful ♥️

[mingi-s-dimples]

You took san home...

pairing: sub until he's not!san x bratty sub!f reader rating: 18+ (MDNI - literal filth)

genre: smut, idol au, established relationship

summary: You ask your boyfriend, San, to keep the blindfold he used to himself after the performance... only to surprise him later.

WC: 2.8k

warnings: idol au, sub until he's not!san (he lets reader top over him for a min), dacryphilia (kinda?), blow job, hand job, oral (m receiving & implied f), choking (both on cock & by hand), pet names (love, babe, baby, Sannie, sweetie) dry humping (edging through clothes), light bondage & sense deprivation (tying wrists f & blindfold m), a lil bit of a size kink ig?, making out (a bit), multiple rounds, multiple orgasms (m&f) & a ruined orgasm (m), overstim, creampies, use of toys (a vibrator), deepthroating, teasing, orgasm control (from where ruined orgasm cause my y/ n was feeling bratty lol I went overboard), fluff (a crumb), aftercare (a crumb-i promise he's a good guy he just wants to go for another round), unprotected (booo, use protection ir| !), completely consensual!, it's straight up filth with a crumb of romance that's all you need to know (filthy love), completely unedited, might edit it later (I'm sure I forgot to mention sth)

Author's note: I love how I wrote this actually! English is not my native language, please excuse any grammatical errors ! It's the first time I've ever written smut (but I love reading it). The story is unedited, I will post it like this for now. Might do a part 2 with y/n getting eaten out, what do y'all think 👹

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction & does not represent in any way the reality of the member.

You should've seen it coming, as soon as you found out they're going on a new tour. How all of his fans would scream for him, how the cameras follow him all around the venue. Even though you were his girlfriend, you still felt a little jealous of all the atinys that got to see him like that, performing with all his power and passion. When you first found out that one of your favourite songs - and performances - take me home, was on their setlist, even though you were aware of the fact that the song had pretty much...sad lyrics, the performance was insane. He barely let you attend the concert, thinking he was going to get distracted. But you begged and begged and told him you'd be a good girl, so he let you. But, before you left to the venue by yourself to blend in, you had a talk with your boyfriend.

"Babe, can I ask you for a favor? I promise it's nothing too big." you stopped San right as he was leaving to the venue, looking at him with puppy eyes.

"Of course, darling, what is it?" he said, looking softly in your eyes.

"You see, I want you to keep the white silky blindfold...to yourself...when you finish the concert. Could you do that for me, please?"

"Hm...what do you want to do with it, babe? Should I be curious?" San said caressing your cheek.

"No, no, not yet ! I promise you'll enjoy it, don't you trust me?"

"Okay babe, I'll take it with me. See you at our hotel after the concert? I'll wait for you there after you enjoy your time as....a simple fan, in the crowd" he whispered, sending soft shivers down your spine.

You blew a kiss to him and, as soon as he left for the venue, a lot earlier than the concert, you went to your room to prepare yourself for the performance.

"Hmm, this will do" you said while looking in the mirror placed right in front of your bed. A nice, tight silk dress, flowing beautifully down your curves. It was a pretty short one, too, but you knew how jealous San would get over it...and also how much he liked it. Only thinking about this turned you on a bit, knowing how good he'll fuck you dumb tonight, after your little game. You knew he would let you dom over him for your own sake...and when you were done with it... he'd destroy you.

_________________________________________

"Yo, guys, the concert was fucking incredible! Y'all were so good!" you addressed the praise to the other members, after you sneaked in the back.

"Thank you, y/n, the atmosphere was really nice! All our fans were so excited to see us!" said Hongjoong, smiling softly, approaching you slowly to give you a warm hug.

"Where is San, though? I haven't seen him anywhere." you asked, confused.

"Ah, he already left, he's on his way to the hotel. Didn't y'all need to meet or something? He was pretty secretive about it." said Wooyoung, looking you up and down, to find the meaning behind your outfit. "Heh, you dressed like this just for him, hm? I bet he doesn't know you're wearing this. I mean, he wouldn't have let you leave like that, in the first place" he said teasingly, with a smirk on his face.

"Please, don't tire him too much....we have some promotions tomorrow.." Wooyoung whispered, making you flinch and curse him out.

"Oh for fucks sake, shut up."

---

"Can anyone give me a ride? It's too late to go alone"

"Yup, see you at the car" said Yeosang, while looking around for his keys.

---

"Y/n, have fun" he said smiling at you, giving you the look.

"Oh cmon, you and Wooyoung...though, thanks for driving me, I owe you one" you said right before shutting the door.

_________________________________________

While you were in the elevator, all of the filthy thoughts started filling your mind. Would San agree to it? Would he actually like it? Or would he punish you...all of these thoughts were going straight to your pussy, as your arousal was pooling in your lace panties.

You knocked on the door. Nothing.

You knocked again, this time hearing your boyfriend murmuring something, and then some steps were coming towards the door.

As he opened the door for you...his jaw dropped. He was scanning you from toe to head...his gaze darkening upon seeing your dress.

"Hi, babe" you said teasingly, looking him in the eyes. Your left hand was resting on his cheek, stroking him slowly. "What do you think..of my dress?"

"Oh babe..I'll show you what I think about it" he said and you didn't even have time to react. He planted a kiss on your lips, aggressively, interlocking his tongue with yours. The only sounds you could hear was the lewd ones you were making. You wanted to much more, so you pushed yourself in his grip. He closed the door behind you and took you to your bed. His hands were tracing you entire body...going from your neck, where he planted soft, sloppy kisses...to your waist, and to your ass. He lifted your short silky dress only to be welcomed by the wet spot between your thighs. You flinched, as he touched you through the fabric. The friction between your panties and his two fingers were driving you insane...you were squirming over his hand, trying to get more. As your arousal started to drip on your thighs, through the thin cloth, San pushed you on the bed, to watch everything.

As he was approaching you fiercely, you stopped him with you leg.

"Nu-uh, babe. I told you I had something prepared for you tonight...after that..you can fuck me how you like" I said, teasingly, pressing my foot on his chest.

"Goddam y/n, making me wait like that? Fine, I'll let you. After all, you got me so fucking turned on, you won't be able to walk tomorrow." he said, searching the white lacey blindfold in his back pocket. Just seeing him like that...made you thirsty for more. You, basically undressed, dripping from your cunt on the sheets. Him? fully dressed, a few of his buttons ripped out. While he handed you the cloth you've been waiting all along, he looked at you a bit confused.

"What are we doing with this babe? It's barely going to tie you up or something..." he said, tracing your wrists.

"Oh babe, only if you'd knew...Please, could you lay on your back? Let me try this once..pretty please?" you said, looking at him with puppy eyes.

--

As he laid on his back, you told him promptly to keep his hands to himself and, as you tied the blindfold to his eyes, he smiled, not knowing what you were going to do to him.

A moment later, he feels you getting off the bed. He stands up to lean against the headboard, while trying to see what's happening, through the blindfold. He hears you rumbling through your suitcase, and gave you a confused, yet excited look.

"So...babe. I thought about something...how should I say this?" you said, walking towards him. You gave him the item you've been searching for.

"Damn, babe, is this a vibrator? What do you want to use it for?" he said while feeling it in his hands.

"Hm...well, you know how I told you I'd want to fulfill one of my little fantasies...right? Today...I was so excited for the performance where you used your blindfold that I couldn't wait to get back to the hotel...brace yourself, baby." you said softly, while taking the toy from his hands. You then turned it on, on the 2nd slowest speed, and then put it right on your boyfriend's hardening cock, through his jeans. He squirmed at the sensation, letting out a soft moan.

"W-what are y-you doing?" he muffled, trying to get a grip of himself.

"Oh, babe, I'm playing with you now...I can't wait to see your reaction... now." and you turned the speed faster, moving it up and down along the length that was forming an enormous bulge in his pants. His cock, already leaking with pre cum, twitched with every move of yours. Drops of sweat were dripping off his face, his eyebrows frowning every time the vibrator touched his tip through the clothes. He was so out of it, pre cum staining his pants.

"B-babe, I don't think I will last much l-longer" he said through his whimpers.

"Nu-uh, Sannie. You'll have to wait until I let you cum." you said confidently, while turning off the toy. He squirmed in defeat, trying to get some friction within the sheets.

“Oh my, you look so cute like this. All worked up and disappointed of your ruined orgasm. Do you want to cum, babe? Tell me.”

“Yes, love, please, p-please-” he said, breathing heavily. “Please, I’ll be good to you”

“What if….I don’t want you to be good to me after all of this..? Don’t you wann punish your bratty girlfriend? hm?”

“Oh and how much I’d like that….but please…let me cum, I was so fucking close!” he said angrily, squirming under you”

“Okay babe, we’ll see about that”

–

You started to unbutton his jeans, admiring the art you just made. His pants stained with pre cum, his hard angry cock straining painfully against the zipper. You wanted to free him of all of that..but not yet. You only took his pants halfway off, to have a better look at his boxers. Then, you turned on the toy again and put it against his leaking tip through the cloth, receiving a nice shiver from him. It took you only a few moments of edging his tip until he started whimpering again, letting you know that he was close to his high.

“Sannie, cum.” you ordered, as your boyfriend squirmed under the pressure of your hand fondling with the base of his cock, him trembling from the friction. As soon as you pressed his tip again with the highest speed, he let out a loud moan, and, as his cock started twitching, the tip slightly got out of his boxers, strands of translucent, silky white cum covering his abs. Still touching him with the vibrator on the lowest speed, you waited until he finished completely wore off his high and then turned it off. You then climbed on him, just sitting on his abs, the cold feeling of his cum sticking to your thighs forming, yet again, a sloppy pool between your folds.

“So…babe. How was it? I enjoyed the view of you begging me to let you cum” you let out a soft chuckle, as you untied the blindfold.

“Oh, my god. This was fucking incredible, babe. I never felt like this before…I don’t know what to say. I enjoyed it but..love…how much you annoyed me by fucking up with my orgasm. Not nice of you at all, sweetie.” he said, while he manhandled you on your back, so fast that you didn’t even realise. “But now, babe, is my turn. I gotta admit, your game was…incredible, but now you gotta brace yourself.” he said, as he tied your hands to the headboard with his belt.

“W-what when did you get it?” you said horrified at the thought of you being tied up….but it only turned you on more.

“Cmon babe, relax yourself, the night just started. Your punishment is yet to come* he said, with a soft smirk on his face.

Then, he went down right to your dripping cunt, using two fingers to touch the damp cloth. You moaned in pleasure, squirming under the pressure of his fingers, trying to get more friction. He moved your panty to the side, to have a better look. He went right in, curling his two fingers right into your sweet spot. As you felt a tingling sensation in your cunt, you started whimpering for more. He knew what it meant, so he inserted another finger. You let your head drop in pleasure and surprise, at how his fingers filled you so good. Yet, you felt so empty. You wanted his dick inside you, destroying your insides.

“B-babe, p-please. Fuck me.”

“I-i, I need your cock in me”

“Oh babe…how needy are you today, don't you think?” he then approached your cunt with the vibrator you used on him earlier, not thinking much of it until he turned it on. You let out a moan of pleasure, while he was still fingering you. His thumb and toy on your clit, moving it in circles.

You felt how the knot in your belly started getting tighter and tighter, you felt how you were about to cum. But he didn’t let you, yet.

He took his pants off completely and with one hand on your neck choking and muffling your moans, he tapped his again hardened cock on your folds, then went right in. You couldn't make a sound, getting dizzy from being choked by his hand. You could feel his rings imprinting into your flesh. Trying to say something, he released his grip on your neck and went right for your hardened nipple. As he was lazily pounding into you, he admired how your chest rose up with each of his every thrust, slowly getting deeper and faster. When he bottomed down, you both left out a moan at the same time, tears falling down your face. You loved how good your boyfriend was always filling you up, how well he was stretching you out. It always hurt, but you loved pain as it felt like pleasure to you. Then he started rapidly pounding into you, hitting your g-spot, while one of his hands was fondling with your nipple, his other hand pressing circles on your clit.

“S-sannie, I'm c-close” you said, and right after that you got pulled deeper, the friction from your folds to the base of his cock making you throw your head back in pleasure.

As soon as he heard you, he started pumping deeply into you, angrily, and within a few more thrusts, you could feel the knot in your belly unfold, seeing stars as you came down from your high. Your boyfriend, though, had other plans. As soon as you wore off your high, he put you on all fours and took your hair into a slight ponytail, guiding you to his cock.

“Oh babe, how I've been waiting for this. You know, I let you cum, I've been a good boy to you. But I haven't yet…so you gotta help me with that” he said with a smirk on his face, looking into your eyes as he promptly slapped the tip of his hard, big girthy cock on your lips. He then signaled you to open your mouth, to which you obeyed. He put it in slowly, letting you to adjust to his size and then bottomed out.

You could feel how his dick was touching the back of your throat, tears swelling in your eyes. As he wiped the falling tears off your cheek, he let you stay for a second like that until he raised his eyebrows. You knew you needed to start sucking like your life depended on it. And as you started licking his length, pressing your tongue to his tip and also brushing your hand against the base of his cock, you could feel him twitch in your mouth, with every touch of your tongue. The corners of your mouth were definitely stinging a bit, his girthy cock always stretching your everything. He let you do it at first, at your own pace, but he felt it was too slow and not rough enough. So he took your hair into his right hand and started fucking your throat, tears swelling in the corner of your eyes, feeling dizzy from the lack of oxigen. He didn't last long, as after a few more deep thrusts into your throat he came right there, slowing his pace to let you swallow his load. You felt like he came endlessly, your throat and mouth getting filled with his cum.

After he made sure you swallowed everything, he let you fall on your back, him laying right besides you. He gave you soft kisses on your forehead, cheek and then on your collarbone. He then got up to get a towel and get you cleaned up, only for his next words to be…

“Babe, I'm not done yet. Prep yourself for another round. This time, you’re getting eaten out.” he said, smiling at you, knowing by the expression on your face that you couldn't wait any longer.

[aayakashii]

Hey hey!! I really like yanderes and tokyo debunker - the yandere archetype has actually been my special interest since about third grade ! The reason I mention this is because I just found your account and I absolutely adore your yandere headcanons,, and I see them as that too !! So I want to see your thoughts on some things.

I was curious about your thoughts on yandere Towa x MC (or a self insert character or - just anyone that isn't Haru.) Do you think his love for his partner would outweigh the platonic love/familial love for Haru? Personally I think it would be both a slow and fast progression. Towa acknowledging his romantic feelings and being jealous? That would happen very quickly. But Towa putting MC or romantic interest above Haru? That would take a bit more time, just because the two know each other for a long time. But how long would it take for Towa to value his love interest more than Haru? But I'm curious what Towa would do if Haru starts to like his romantic interest, or gets too close.. would Towa be okay with it? Or does his trust for Haru outweigh that?

sdkljfh aaa I'm really sorry I just really like yandere characters and Towa especially.

I'M SO SORRY I TOOK SO SO LONG TO ANSWER THIS

When I received it, I found it such an interesting idea but I kept delaying it because I wanted to be in the "correct" headspace to give it a good answer, but it turns out that if I keep waiting I'll never do anything so I'll just give it a shot now!! Again, I'm so sorry this took so long, I hope you'll see this 😭

Firstly, I do think Towa already is a yandere character! Probably due to his whimsical nature and inhuman qualities tbh, but he does act like one (he tries to kill Ren just so it can be only him and Haru again ffs 😭). And with his obsession towards romance, I think he genuinely would be a VERY dangerous love interest...

But despite all that, I imagine that Towa kind of compartmentalizes his feelings. Like, his familial love for Haru is in a completely different box than romantic love (or what he idealizes romantic love to be). There would be no such thing as someone being more important than Haru, because Haru and his s/o are important in very different ways. I think he would be able to kinda separate them in that way.

And like you said, with his s/o, things would move very quickly. As soon as he realized (or decided) he had romantic feelings for them, it'd turn intense right away. He still does his own thing and lets Haru fulfill his duties while he's frolicking on the fields lol but with his s/o? He'd be stuck on them like glue. Jealous, possessive, clingy, he's the whole package.

NOW REGARDING YOUR LAST QUESTION... THAT'S SO HARD!!!!! I really want to say his trust in Haru would outweigh everything, but I'm not 100% sure on that. I don't think Towa's idea of romance would be very healthy, so if he saw Haru being too close or having a crush on what he considers HIS, I think that would have....... really bad consequences. And probably not to Haru, but to his s/o. Maybe he'd act like his s/o was betraying him by "making" Haru fall for them, since he thinks romance is magical and all that 💀

But at the same time, I don't believe Haru would DO any of that either, you know? He's so attuned to Towa's behavior, I think he'd steer clear of anyone that Towa ends up falling for.

That's such a tough question though!!! I really like thinking about Towa too, he's such an interesting character aaaaaahhhhh

Again, I'm so so sorry I took so long to answer and I'm sorry if this was an underwhelming answer 😭 I hope you're still around, anon!! I hope you read this! And thank you for entrusting your idea with me :') <3

[mblue-art]

Sorry for that question but I really curious!

What made you fell in love with Cross and Lust?

Tell us more!!

😳😳😳 hhuh what rreally,, , ,,, 😳 u wanna hear me yap abt my sillies, my beloveds,,, (i appreciate the enthusiasm tho omg 🥺🫶🫶🫶)

i want to have the yuris with lust and the yaois with cross I I MEAN HWHWAT 🧍‍♂️

UM.

haha anyWAY,, (oh gog this ended up long)

🍫—

cross checks so many boxes for me it makes me go insane. too good to be true. versatile(??)— like it's somehow way too easy to put him in Situations. (he's bf and husbone material??? just -20hp me now; that already kills me) he's. hh. gawddamn there's reasons why he won a utmv sans sexyman poll.

he's like a crush that you can't get out of your head no matter what you do, i'm so freaking down bad for him it's not even funny anymore. ever since simping for cross i have not been the same since. the man has changed me. the attraction/simp feelings hit me like a bat out of nowhere and i don't understand why it's so intense— i. hh.

,,i like when ppl make him dorky. stupidly silly (absolutely love shitpost shenanigans and would absolutely LOVE to get into silly shenanigans with him and with/without his bestie epic). fun to be around when he's deemed you as a good friend. stars, he'd give good hugs. strong, solid, and warm, the kind of hugs u don't wanna pull away from so soon. a little endearingly cringe. fanon simp cross is adorable and fun to mess around with. tsundere cross is adorable and fun to mess with. cute anxious guy under all that intimidating aloofness. when i say his smile is an absolute treasure, i mean that. his blush making him look like a grape or a glowing bulb is adorable and makes me wanna tease him more. anime protag/character vibes so strong i wanna have a cute bl/shoujo manga romance with him type shit yk.

then there's times when he's The Hot Dude and i think it's illegal if he's all confident and smug and dom actually (/hj) cause that makes me wanna fucking fite him HELLO? SIR? ILLEGAL????? (<- the fight or flight response of a tsundere towards a milder tsundere LOL).

-hp every single time. mf gets successful d20 rolls w/ rizz on me and i get a critical hit every time. it's a 50/50 either i fluster to death and become weak or i wanna fite his dumbass

i'll. i can fight him. i'll lose but i can fight him for sure. (why is he so cool⁉️‼️💢💢💢RRRRRRR)

he makes me feel things. lots of things. (mostly fluster but when i'm feelin sooper soff i jst wanna shower his skull in keeses. ima kissy lil guy)

tired cross makes me just wanna take care of him. want him to come home to me without any worry because he thinks i'm his safe space.

when he's being stubborn i want to tell him to chill out for a little while, take a break and watch some funny stuff while drinking choccy milk or eating his fav foods and be cozy. bapping him if he's gonna try to get out of this too soon. he's gonna get the free time he deserves n relax n get cuddles n kithes.

the way he can gently hold my hand and look at me with a sincere look in his eyelights and say something genuinely affectionate feels like cupid shooting an arrow through my soul, but also feels like a balm. (a promise of loyalty and faithfulness.) (a kiss on the forehead? a cherry on top.)

well now i can't be mean to him with all the nice he's saying and doing. i just want nice things for him o(-< (even if he's a bastard sometimes lol<3 all circles back to the silly) (silly is always important)

💜—

i love lust. so so so much. the fanon interpretation of him, anyway.

(don't get me wrong, i absolutely adore the feminine slay content of lust; but am i wrong for yearning for more masc lust content?)

i like my lust sans respectful, goofy, sans-like, an absolute sweetheart, and a caring, wonderful life partner. under the flirty personality and charm(ing looks), is a sans behavior that made me fall deeper. (he makes me feel very gender too) (ohmygofd yeah no he actually makes me think of gender sometimes rauauagrrgh<3/pos). i don't have to worry about showing my cring, weird side to him, because he's also a gremlin,, o(-< he doesn't have to present himself all nice and pretty all the time (although he's always pretty in my eyes). he can be comfortably himself; with me 🥺

i want to be his safe space.

i want to see him heal and be happy and be happy with me and give him all the love i can give and care for him and make him soso happy i just want him to feel SO sosososo loved, he deserves so much more

he's the only one who's able to get a certain reaction out of me; to pull flowers out of my heart. to pull out words of love and devotion and appreciation, heart bursting with affection only for him.

for him, i would try. i would live for him. i wish someone like him (the him i've created from interpretations and headcanons) was real irl.

i want to not care i don't care if he's a gorgeous well-known person that people fawn over, or if he's a campus crush, etc.,

i want him to think i'm worthy enough to keep in his life. for him to know how special he is to me, for him to know how much i want him in my life as much as i want him to keep me in his.

my immediate reaction when i think of him is: 😊💕💜💜💜eeeee kicks and giggles and flaps hands teehee

i love him so much i get a heart-on for him (/silly but it is true sometimes; love him so much it aches (in a good way))

[aihoshiino]

Da Vinci Magazine Jan. 2024: A Q&A with Ai of B-Komachi!

In the January 2024 issue of Da Vinci magazine, there was an in-character interview with Ai as written by Aka Akasaka that you can read a translation of here! What I forgot to mention on that initial post is that there was also a little lightning round Q&A the original anon didn't translate at the time. Thankfully, they did post it and I just... completely forgot it existed until now. ;9 Shout out to past me who remembered to save it and kept me from having to dig thru the 4chan archives for it...

Unlike the original interview, this is my translation! So any goofs and gaffes are entirely on me lol. This is also totally spoiler safe, so you can read both this Q&A and the original interview no matter what point you are in the series.

Get to Know Ai Better! Q&A Session

Q. What motto do you live by?

A. I really like "Tomorrow is a new day." I'm one of those people who forgets all their worries after a good nights' sleep. (laughs)

Q. Tell us how you refresh yourself!

A. I like taking naps on my days off. I was saying earlier that I forget my worries once I've gotten some sleep but with this job, it can be hard to find the time to actually do it. Not just that, but lately I've been waking up in the night to take care of this and that, so when I do have the time to sleep, I really conk out.

Q. What is your routine on days off?

A. I wake up, prep some milk… oh, um - I like cornflakes so I always need milk for breakfast. Then I go for a nap (laughs). I know some of the other B-Komachi members like going to beauty salons or nail salons, but I don't do nails and I let my hair grow out so I'm usually just at home (laughs). I even cut my own bangs! I've been doing it for years so I'm pretty good at it. I've even cut other peoples' hair once or twice, though not anyone in B-Komachi.

Q. Your 20th birthday's coming up soon. What are you looking forward to doing once it arrives?

A. I want to try drinking alcohol. The president of my agency keeps saying, "I can't wait to have a drink with you!" He makes it sound like a lot of fun, so I'm curious to know what getting tipsy's like.

Q. What book left the biggest impression on you this year?

A. It's a manga, but I was moved to tears by "I'll Go With Sweet Today". The heroine is a girl who distrusts people and develops anorexia, becoming terrified of eating… I have a bit of that in me too, though not quite to the same extent she does, so I could really relate to her and her journey to recovery really moved me. If there's ever a live-action version, I'd love to play her!

Q: What would you like to do after the Dome concert?

A: I'd like to go on a trip or something. Where would be nice... Oh, I've heard of 'Mito Natto' before, so maybe Mito!

Q: What's something a fan said that made you happy?

A. You know, I didn't used to read any fan letters at all. But there was a time I was getting tired of being an idol and I was planning to quit, so the president made me sit down and read all the letters I'd gotten. That was the first time I'd ever realized just how much support I was getting and it made me go "in that case, I'll give them all my love and support in return!". I even wrote a song about it. So now I treasure all the letters and words I get from my fans. I actually got a gift from a fan recently, some 'star sand'. It was really beautiful and my real name "star" in it, it made me really happy. I've still got it displayed in my room.

Q: What is "true love" to you?

A. I guess if I had to sum it up, I'd say true love is being a genius who doesn't lie. I think maybe people lie to avoid lying. I'm not sure if that's a good answer and even I don't know if it makes sense, but it's just something I feel.

Q: Do you think you're a liar?

A: Hmm~~? That's a se~cret! (laughs)

[amoransia]

Really late, but here's my ekuoto chapter 70 commentary. Nothing special, just me freaking out. You know. The usual.

Watch out for spoilers!

Dante got a very special dialogue balloon with "..." in it. Which is curious to me. I'm sure it means some sort of reflection or surprise happening within him; I really want to what he's thinking. How do you feel? Knowing that the that child you were entrusted can't even bear to be awake anymore? That he runs to escapism? Must suck. Anyway.

On the other hand, dearest Daniel is real composed. Good job on getting info out of Belphegor. That's not really a high bar, though lmao... I mean, how are you a demon and can't LIE? Embarrassing... Go back to demon high school or something. Fall from grace again! The whole premise of your existence is being a lying thing that leads people to sin, and you're here having communication issues??? Dude. That's so moe.

Everyone thinking Belph's got something up his sleeve is fucking hilarious. No. Sorry. He's not Kira or anything like that. It's not all according to his "keikaku". He's just kinda dumb and suffers from Villain Monologue Syndrome...

Him saying "my witch", though... ough! (takes critical hit)

Really funny how he showed him off sleeping and everything. Why are you bragging? Is this something to show off? I guess it is for you... I'd be embarrassed if all my coworkers suddenly saw me sleeping on a plasma 100" inch TV, though. Maybe have a little consideration! Also, I don't think anyone's mentioned this before, but I think it's a cool detail that Priest's in a fetal position. Not only does this position bring one comfort, but it can also represent how he's about to be "reborn" as a witch of Sloth. The sphere he's sleeping in can kinda be a uterus, right?

Belphegor and Mikhail replying to each other while Leah was suffering out of confusion was funny. She got the straight man role forced onto her. Miha's "I see!" was cute. Very casual, as if he wasn't talking to a Demon Lord lol. To be fair, Bel is not really intimidating.

Meanwhile, Vir is busy trying to lead his shounen manga team to victory... (or not really.) They'll definitely get some piece of Belphegor though. I wonder what it'll be... he doesn't have anything like Asmodeus' eyes sticking out, so this is a mystery to me.

Me when I get excited about an interest of mine and end up yapping too much

Dante and Vergilius are heading to the same place, so they'll meet up again... I'm looking forward to the mess that comes out of that 👀.

Imuri needs to step up her game, or I'll be taking matters into my own hands because this is ridiculous. Femme Fatale? Wtf are you talking about. Fraudmuri. The Demon Lord of Fraud. Her true title.

Her biggest crime so far is being more in love with the idea of being in love with Priest than actually caring for him. Does that make sense? So far, she hasn't done any effort in actually coming to know him. She needs to KNOW!!!! At least I can respect that she also takes male rivals seriously... and her aggressiveness towards them. Lole.

She doesn't call Priest "sleepyhead" in the JP raws. I don't really mind the addition, but I thought it was worth noting here anyway. Makes it cute.

"It'll be over soon" Naw bro Imuri is coming at you with a fucking sledgehammer. Watch out.

Tiny Imuri is so fawking cute. I've been craving these Imuri flashbacks for forever because we know virtually nothing about her. What moves her. Why does she long to love!! We'll know in due time, I guess. But please show me a bit of it, Aruma-sensei...

Asmodeus being considerate enough to make sexual things vague to Imuri is nice, but it confuses me a bit. Well. I shan't dwell on it, lest my head blows up.

Imuri seems to have some complex about being a demon with no demon power, because she keeps asserting that she is a demon? Am I explaining this properly? Like in this chapter (ch.70) and chapter 3.

Anywho.

Imuri imagining the BL route... save me... my fucking sides... I burst out laughing the first time my eyes laid on that panel. True to her succubus nature, she didn't even consider the possibility of them using blood or whatever else instead of straight-up KISSING. Those are still bodily fluids, right?? Calm down, girl! Stay put!!!

"I'm not letting his first kiss go to some guy that just appeared!!" HE'S BEEN THERE FOR A DECADE! YOU ARE THE NEWCOMER!!! IMURI, GIRL!! You absolute buffoon! Clown, even!

Whew. Lmao.

This arc also feels like a callback to that one "sleeping beauty" comment from chapter 3.

...except their roles have switched.

This time, Imuri will be the one kissing Father on the cheek to wake him up, and it'll be so, so cute. Trust. Trust me. This will happen. (Going insane).

Go and make him your witch, Imuri... Dew it... Make a move... (screaming and crying)

[the-fiction-witch]

The Magic Of Men

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Smut Discussions

Requested: Could you do a Jack Dawkins one where she has no experience and doesn't really know how men work (because it's 1850s and she isn't married lol) but she's curious? Up to you what you do with that :)

I felt insanely awkward about doing this, but... not like I had many other options. I headed up the stairwell of the hospital and up to the little room I knew well. I gave the door a tap, and soon enough his voice answered.

"Come in,"

So I held my breath and headed inside the little room, seeing the usual objects littered about and two figures, Fagin sat in the chair fiddling with something not sure what, and then Jack stood by his wardrobe changing his shirt. Immediately I blushed and looked away, "Hi,"

"Hi Y/n, Just a sec I'll be down." Jack smiled as he got a clean shirt on, "Sorry had to change we had a bloody nightmare of surgery. You ready to go?"

"Actually, I was thinking... Maybe we could stay here tonight?"

"uhhh right, Why?"

"Well given everything with Darius, I figured maybe we could just stay and play cards here tonight. I brought us some cookies to bet with?"

"Aww you're sweet, that's great actually I can't spend any money." He laughed, "Alright piss off Fagin."

"Ohh lovely, I see when I'm not wanted." Fagin complained getting up and shuffling to the door, "Bloody sweet talk to the man who raised you!"

"Out Fagin," he told him again, 

Fagin then left leaving Jack and me alone, 

"You alright?"

"Yeah sorry uhh long day is all..."

"Alright, well get comfy." 

"Thank you," I smiled taking a seat setting my basket down and unpacking it, 

"Ohh did you make pie!?"

"I did,"

"Can I have some?" he asked sheepishly 

"Of course," I smiled cutting him some pie,

"Ummmm! you are an angel you know that." 

I blushed but we started our card game as usual, we played for a good while the whole time I was eager to ask but I didn't want to just jump out the gate with things. But I knew I couldn't wait much longer.

"Jack?" I spoke up breaking the flow of our gentle conversation, 

"Yeah?"

"Can I... Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he shrugged, 

"Could you tell me, about- Men?"

He froze a moment his eyebrows lowered, his eyes looking at me questionably, "What about men?"

"...Everything,"

"Right..." he began, "why?"

"Well, It's just..." I began, "My mother is getting, insistent on me starting to court, starting to look into me getting married and I know so little about men, how they work, what they like, I have no idea and I'm very confused."

"Men are a mystery" He chuckled, 

"I know, But I just want... some knowledge."

"All right."

"Really?"

"Yeah, can't leave you completely clueless." He smiled, "You're such an innocent little thing, the first man who realizes just how innocent and... naive you are, will take advantage of your lack of information." He explained, 

"They will?"

"Ohh yeah, the first man figures out you don't know what you're doing there's no telling what he'll make you do." He chuckled, "But why are you asking me?"

"Becuase I trust you."

"Do you?" he shot me a look,

"I trust you enough."

"Thanks,"

"Also you know… you're a doctor I imagine you're able to explain it better than the average man”

"Good point, So? You wish to know the magic of men?’

“I do”

“Alright then… Well, how much do you know?"

“Well… I know on the wedding night the lady must lie on her back and open her legs for he husband. And then he will make babies.”

“...that's it?”

"more or less”

“Ohh my god- how does anyone expect you to know what you're doing with that, you sure you aren't told anything else?"

"that if I raise my skirt too high or too low men will be excited”

“...I mean, yeah that kinda is true.” He nodded, "There's more to it but on a basic level I guess... anything else?" 

“Uhhh my mother said if you let a man put his baby goo in your mouth and swallow it you'll have babies growing in your tummy”

"…What!”

“If you let a man-”

“I heard you! I'm just fucking astonished!”

“Is that not true?"

“No! You can't get pregnant like that!”

“Ohh I see… why would my mother like to me?"

"I assume to stop you putting men in your mouth… she tell you anything else?”

“The female orgasm is a myth”

“WHAT! your mother is fucking nuts!" 

"Is that not true?"

"No! I am very VERY sure about that!"

"Ohh..."

"Ohh you poor little thing..." He said, 

"Why?"

"You need an education." He said, "So when a man and a woman love each other very much..."

"Yes?"

"They start to kiss, and cuddle, and tell each other how they feel. And then they may decide to be... Intimate."

"I see," I nodded very eager to learn, 

"And yes when a man sees under a lady's dress he may get... excited." He smirked, "A woman's body is often very exciting for a man to look at, and if he gets excited enough he'll get hard."

"Hard?"

"His... you know."

"His what Jack?"

"you really are innocent aren't you," He chuckled, "Well a man has a cock. most of the time it's just soft and not really anything all that important but when a man gets excited his cock gets hard, It'll stand up and kinda make itself stiff." 

"Ohh... Why?"

"It's all the blood rushing there and causing it to expand and stay stiff, so he can use it for sex."

"Ohh Okay, so it gets hard for sex?"

"Yeah, it gets hard when he's excited and aroused." 

"Okay, then he makes baby goo?"

"Baby goo?"

"Yeah, he gets excited until baby goo comes out."

"... It's called Jizz. or ejaculate. but yeah it makes babies."

"Jizz. makes babies. But not in mouths?"

"No, only in your pussy."

"Pussy?"

"The ... hole between your legs y/n." 

"Ohh my special place." 

"Yeah, you lay on your back, or your side, or you can sit up too there's a lot of options but the main point is he puts his cock inside your pussy, and it feels amazing for both involved and yes you should get an orgasm you both should and when a man orgasms then yes he will Jizz and if it is inside of your pussy there is a RISK not one hundred per cent just a risk that you may get pregnant."

"Hu... Thank you, Jack,"

"You're welcome. See men aren't all that magic and mystical... we are pretty simple, to be honest." 

"What about other than sex?"

"Other than sex? Well yeah if you put a man's cock in your mouth it will also give him an orgasm but you can't get pregnant," 

"Do women get orgasms other than sex?"

"Yeah, they can, a man can use his mouth, or his hands, or even women can do it themselves."

"That's possible?"

"Very possible."

"Can... men do it to themselves?"

"Yes."

"Hu... Then why do you need a wife at all?"

he looked at me and laughed, "Because it's not the same having sex and giving yourself an orgasm isn't the same feeling,"

"Ohhh..." I nodded, "That makes sense,"

"You alright now? Anything else you wanna know?"

"Uhhh... Kinda,"

"Go on then,"

"What does a cock look like?"

"Uhhhh are you serious?"

"I've never seen one before... I'm curious."

"Yeah, I don't exactly have pictures of dicks laying around y/n."

"This is a hospital if anywhere has pictures and diagrams of dicks it's here." 

"No, I don't, sorry Y/n," he chuckled going to lay on his bed for a moment, "I'm rather tired after all that explaining" he yawned, 

"Sorry Jack," I smiled sitting on his bed with him,

"It's fine, I'm happy to explain to you, at least now you're not so naive," 

"I guess now, I'm thankful to be less naive."

"Good, I'm glad I could help." 

For a moment we just sat enjoying one another company as we often did, before I little spark of a whisper popped up in my brain, and I giggled.

"What?"

I smiled and held the skirt of my dress lifting it a little to show my leg all the way up to my knee, Jack's eyes met my skin and a smirk grew across his lips, 

"what are you up to y/n?"

"Just curious."

"Curious?" 

"Umm, I wanna see the magic of men."

"Do you know?"

"Mhm, so? Are you excited?"

"...A little." He smirked, "This what you want?" he asked sitting up and I nodded excitedly, "Alright Y/n, Come on I'll prove to you about the female orgasm" He smirked tugging me into the bed with him, 

[ao3-oner]

hi oner!

im a really big fan of your writing, thank you for posting so much!

quick question just for fun: if someone could only read five of your fics and no more, and you got to pick which ones, which five would you want them to read? you can include wips if you want

im just curious lol, happy writing and hope you post soon

Hi there, anon! Thank you so much for reading my stuff. I hope I post soon too LMAO, life can be busy sometimes but hopefully I'll be able to find time to write more in the upcoming weeks. I'm glad you're enjoying my fics so far :)

Man, your question is really hard to answer, though - asking a writer to pick their favorite pieces is like asking a parent to choose a favorite child. That said, I never claimed to be a good fic-parent, so ofc I have my faves. If someone, for whatever reason, could only read five of my fics, the ones I would recommend are:

1. Metro Lines and Their Prismatic Tears - 10,000 words, Rated T, minor background ships, Peyz-centric

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I think Metro Lines is my best-written fic so far. I also think it's unique in that none of my other fics really capture what it does - like if I wanted to include a GuKe fic on my list I would have a handful to choose from, but this fic is truly one-of-a-kind. I like the AU, I like the characterizations, and overall I'm really proud of my work on this fic.

2. Mad Scientist Incorrigible - 30,000 words, Rated E for lots of sex, multi-ship (Lehends x Everyone) but RuLehends-focused, Lehends-centric

Even though I think Metro Lines is better-written, I still see M.S.I. as my magnum opus and likely the coolest fic I'll ever write. Writing this fic as the tournament was going on was such a fun experience and I'm still shocked that it all came together so well narratively. I really enjoy all the drama of the piece and I think no list of ArchiveofOurOner fics would be complete without it.

I think those two very cleanly take the top spots on my list. From here on out, things get a little more debatable, but for number 3, I'll add the one other fic that I've referred to as "my favorite one" before:

3. The Man Who Talked Shit About Choi Wooje - 4,000 words, Rated T/M for violence, One2eus, shifting POV

I love this fic because it defines "crack treated seriously". Every part of it is just so ridiculous and it was super fun to write. I think part of why I consider it one of my favorites is because I had such a blast writing it, but it also shows a different tone of fic than the other two, so I think it's a good inclusion. I also sorely need to include more of my T1 boys on this list, which brings me to my next entry:

4. Facecheck - 14,000 words, Rated E for some smut, One2eus with background GuKe, Zeus-centric

As my first and most popular fic, I feel like Facecheck is another requirement for the AO3 Oner list. That's not to suggest that I don't love it - I do, but I definitely think that I've grown in my writing since then. It would still be a good include to show that growth, plus it's a fun read even if I personally consider it to be more middle-of-the-pack in terms of my work quality.

For the final slot... damn, okay, this is actually really hard. See, if the question was simply which other of my fics do I like the most, then I'd probably go with 04.11.2023, but that feels way too similar to Mad Scientist Incorrigible (since it's literally just an extension of that fic). I would also consider including my Spider-Oner AU, Strand By Silken Strand, which I'm quite proud/fond of, but let's be real - I haven't included any CanMaker on the list yet and that's a complete sin. So, with that in mind:

5. Flash-Ult - 2,000 words, Rated T, CanMaker, Canyon-centric

It was a really close call between this and Heartbreaker, but I think Flash-Ult won out for me primarily because it's much sweeter and a good deal less angsty (though there is still a bit of angst at the end). All in all, Flash-Ult is a classic, feel-good hurt/comfort fic that I think suits my dynamic of CanMaker very well and is therefore a good representation of how I write the ship. I think between M.S.I. and Facecheck, there's already enough smut on the list, but if I were to include a CanMaker smut fic instead... maybe Unleashed Power, tbh? Ig that would also allow for a taste of my Omegaverse AU...

But yeah, that's my list of 5, plus a few bonus ones tossed around in between. They aren't my best fics, they certainly aren't my most popular fics, but I think they make up the best representation of my total LoL RPF corpus so far. If someone could only read a small portion of my writing, then I think this selection would give them a pretty good taste of what my fics are like. Hopefully, they'd enjoy them as much as you have, anon!

Thanks for the ask - it was certainly an interesting one - and have a great day, wherever you are!

[hersweetrevenge]

Hi there! <3 I re-watched Halloween Ends yesterday because I was upset and I needed Corey to save me, lmfao, and I wanted to ask you something that I've been wondering about. So, I have no way of getting the novelisation of the movie anytime soon, and you're kinda my only frame of reference for it; so I hope you don't mind me asking you this. When Corey is on his revenge killing spree, he kills those bullies at the mechanic shop. And Ronald is there. And then Ronald comes out to help the kids because of Terry. And only because of that. So, that makes me wonder... Did Corey plan on killing Ronald after he was done with the kids? Is that something that was elaborated on in the novel? Because I keep wondering about that, since Corey pretty much killed everyone that ever wronged him during that night, and Ronald was right there; but Corey didn't kill him (or didn't get the chance to, at least). Terry shot him by accident. But Corey killed his mom, of course. So, it'd make sense if he had at least planned on going after Ronald as well; even though he never actively wronged Corey (only passively, if we look at the way he just sat and watched while Joan abused Corey right in front of him, for example). But more so for completion's sake, y'know? They were on generally good terms, after all. I mean, in your latest post about the novel, you quoted that Ronald is "the loveliest thing" in Corey's life, according to Rohan. So, that makes me wonder all the more. OH, and... I fought with myself to include this point, but anyway- Corey takes the mask off when Ronald comes to help the kids, so that Ronald can see his face and know it's him. And it clearly disarms Ronald immediately and is the reason why Terry accidentally shot him instead of Corey, because he shielded him instinctively. Thus, I keep wondering if Corey meant for that to happen or if he took the mask off in order to assure Ronald that he wasn't actually in danger... It's such a seemingly insignificant thing that I'm thinking about far too much, but it's been bothering me that I don't know, and I was curious if the novel said anything about that at all, or if they just brushed over it there, as well. If they did, I'll just make up my own mind, of course, hdsfdjkfsk Anyway, I'm very sorry for rambling on about this, gosh! I love your blog(s) and everything you have to say about Corey and Rohan, you're awesome!!! Thank you for your detailed posts all the time, they keep me going! Take care! <3

ahhh hi !! thank you so much for sending this ask !! i love talking about this sort of thing more than anything lol and i’m sorry this took a little longer than i expected to reply, i was double checking like every ronald scene in the novel and cross-referencing that with behind-the-scenes details from making of, and re-watching the movie (i didn’t have to do that last one but like you, i needed emotional support from corey too 💗)

WARNING for discussions about (canon-typical) violence, murder, child abuse, abusive households, mentions of suicide and self-harm, and spoilers for the novelisation.

TL;DR – the novelisation does not elaborate on corey's intentions in any huge amount of detail, but it does provide some insight into a few different possibilities for ronald and corey’s relationship and what that would mean for corey's intentions.

general relationship

the novelisation actually gives some really specific details about the cunningham-prevo backstory, but also leaves a lot of aspects vague too.

joan married ronald when corey was 15, and she made it clear to ronald that he would "remain firmly on the sidelines when it came to corey's upbringing" which ronald "gladly" agreed to. so from the very beginning, ronald accepts he isn't going to be an active parent to corey, which maybe means he didn't believe he would do a good job anyway, or maybe he agreed it wasn't his place to parent corey in the same way joan does.

also, corey was already a teenager, he didn't need parenting in the same way a younger child would, which is partly why i think joan waited until corey was older to get remarried, because although being a single parent is difficult, she wouldn't want someone else in the picture as a father-figure for corey.

i don't personally see corey and ronald having a super close relationship, but there are multiple instances that show they are at least comfortable and familiar with each other (in line with what rohan said).

corey had a job before working for ronald, so we know ronald didn't have to give him a job. i hc that corey really wanted to do something stimulating instead of call centre work, and ronald agreed despite joan's grievances over it.

ronald doesn't seem too angry at him for being late, even though it is a regular occurrence (third time in a month).would he be so lenient on anyone who wasn't his stepson?

the gifting of the motorbike is a huge moment of course. that's a big gesture which, in the novelisation, also comes with some stilted bonding when ronald reminiscences that he used to "get laid [...], if you can believe it".

they have their united front moment over dinner when joan is trying to work a reaction out of them and neither gives her what she wants.

a smaller but still significant gesture is that corey uses dumbbells and a pull-up bar in his room to workout, which ronald bought him for christmas. very much feels like an attempt to help corey rebuild his self-confidence.

honestly though, rohan's comment about ronald being the "loveliest" thing in corey's life is probably right, especially as corey's life has been incredibly insular. as the town pariah with an abusive mom, his stepdad being cool about him being late for work is probably one of the best parts of his day.

but then on the other hand, there are moments which do not characterise their relationship very well, including multiple instances of ronald "ignoring" joan's abusive behaviour and not intervening.

to reiterate a previous point: ronald very willingly obliges joan's wishes of not "interfering" with corey's upbringing. her unfounded criticism and distrust of doctors, the school system and anyone other than her taking care of corey should have been a huge red flag (if, of course, any of that behaviour could have been inferred prior to their marriage).

ronald's passivity at being side-lined by his wife, allowing her to continue an unhealthy and unbounded relationship with corey.

when joan is berating corey for "sneaking around" and seeing allyson (the slap/kiss scene), she questions ronald as to whether he knew about the motorcycle, to which ronald stays completely out of it and doesn't answer her, despite her being furious with corey.

however it is a really difficult family dynamic to navigate, with so much nuance. i'm reluctant to say if ronald is a "good" or "bad" stepdad, or whether their father-son relationship is "good" or "bad", simply because their circumstances are so trying and complex. yes, joan has abused corey for a long time, but that abuse also extends to ronald in many ways too, resulting in him allowing (or enabling) joan's abusive behaviour in a flawed attempt to maintain the (toxic) status quo of the household.

did corey intend to kill ronald?

like i mentioned, there isn't any elaboration about corey's intentions in the novel, either through narration or extra dialogue. the scene happens almost exactly as it does in the film, with a few alterations and added background details. it's the surrounding details and plot differences that change my opinion.

i think movie!corey would have killed ronald if he had to. he knew ronald would be at home or at the yard, both of which were places he intended to go (to kill momma and the bullies). i'm not sure he had the same desire to kill ronald as he does the others, especially if he sees ronald in a good light, but to tie up loose ends he might do what is "necessary". i do find it very interesting that he lets ronald see his face though, and i can't decide if that is as a reassurance (he wouldn't kill ronald and ronald should know that) or because it just didn't matter (he's going to kill ronald so even if he sees corey's face, he won't be a liability to worry about).

however, i don't think novel!corey intended to kill ronald. in the novel, despite all of the extensive set-up of joan being abusive and corey's repressed desires to hurt her (and arguably ronald), there's no suggestion that corey planned to go back home as part of his spree and kill joan. if he wasn't going to kill joan after everything she did, i really don't think he'd have plans to kill ronald.

that's not to say there aren't implication in the novel that corey would hurt ronald too. there's a scene after the slap/kiss where corey can hear joan and ronald arguing about him, and once they've gone to bed corey gets a knife and stands outside their room, but ultimately doesn't go in. it isn't specified whether he wants to hurts just joan, or ronald as well.

michael's mask

ahh so when i was re-reading the scrapyard massacre in the novel to try and answer whether corey letting ronald see that it is him was a way of corey saying "you don't have to be scared of me" or even "you should be scared of me", i've come to a different conclusion about the mask.

“Who did this to you?” [Ronald] asked. “Him,” Margo said, pointing across the street. Ronald turned to find Corey twenty feet away on the other side of the fence, pulling Michael’s mask over his head. "Corey?" he muttered in disbelief.

the way the novel reads, i think that when corey puts the mask on in front of ronald, it's the first time he puts the mask on at all. if that is the case, it adds a whole other level to the transition between corey's kills as himself (or as the scarecrow) and his kills "as michael".

earlier, billy's sees "corey's shape wearing his prevo jumpsuit". it's fair enough that billy would assume it's corey without seeing his face, because they know that corey is there, but there's no mention of the mask either.

then, the way it describes ronald seeing corey put on the mask doesn't really indicate that corey was making sure ronald saw it was him. he's already "pulling on the mask" by the time ronald looks over at him; he wasn't waiting for ronald to look he was already doing it.

alternatively, the movie shows corey very deliberately stood there, waiting for ronald to see him and recognise him before he puts the mask on. i'm leaning towards it not being a gesture of reassurance but more of a last show of humanity to someone corey cares about -- "it's me, and i appreciate that you always treated me well, but this is the monster they've made me into".

in both versions, ronald jumps up to stop terry shooting corey. whether he was intending to shield corey or was just getting up to try and talk terry down, i think it says a lot about ronald as a character. he has been very passive this whole time, especially in scenes that take place at home, but in this moment he takes an authorative position to try and diffuse the situation. there's a scared kid with a gun, and his own stepson who he's starting to think might have done something awful, but this doesn't have to continue -- they can talk about it and calm down and whatever it is that has happened can be worked out.

[ophernelia]

hi opie!

i hope this isn’t too personal, but i was wondering what your field of work is I remember you talking a little bit about fashion. Is that how you build inspo for margot aspen as well as jade and marie? Also I was curious how do u balance work and filming for lykaia?

Hey!

So, I work in medicine. I did model for an agency for a few years though. I did print and runway. Then pivoted to runway/show production, then model development, and then back to print. I did that while I was in school though. It was never (THANKFULLY!!!!) my like main thing in life. It was okay for a while until I started getting more opportunities and it put me in rooms with some real fucking creepy people. After that I was done. Horrible experience. 0/10. It's had no influence on Jade & Marie or Margot Aspen really. I don't often (and try not to) think about that point in time. It wasn't all bad, but the few bad experiences I had soured the pot. Most of the inspo for Jade & Marie just comes from AJ and Savannah as characters. I feel like I've built them out enough where I can easily pin point things that suit them. As far as MA, I don't feel like it has any real cohesiveness or anything lol. I just saw a font I thought was pretty and I like the name Aspen. I just thought of what would sound nice with it and I picked Margot. It feels like it's all over the place to me lol.

And as far as balancing my job and Lykaia, it's a lot easier since I work from home. Like I can just write something down for Lykaia whenever I feel like it and then get back to work. (I have SOOOOO many sticky notes everywhere) Or I'll film on one screen while I do work on the other. The most tedious part of filming is just setting up the scene. Other than that, it's just me passively letting the game run while I get certain shots and clicking a button on occasion. Usually I only spend like a full week actually filming and editing an ep for Lykaia. I tend to do that whenever I have some free time. It helps me wind down or it's something calm to do when I get up before I get started on work. I do the prep work for filming weeks prior. Whenever I have free time to casually play I'm just setting things up for the next ep. Like for all the scenes I have Imogen in I picked her outfits weeks ago. Now the editing part? That's what kills me. I will stay up late to edit because I can't just pause a scene I'm working on. For some reason I have to finish it in one go. I try to film and edit as I go. So, if I film on Monday, I'll edit the scenes I filmed in the evening or I'll film and edit in the evening. (Which is the case most times now since my mornings are the busiest) Basically it's just me working on an episode like crazy for a full week and once I'm done I'm free lol. It's a lot easier during the winter. Blocking out time to work on it isn't that hard since I don't have much to do aside from working. My friends are usually busy or it's so cold that we're like "nah not making plans any time soon". Chicago weather is no joke fr. Hell, my dog doesn't even really like the cold. He will handle his business and be like "okay let's go inside now". And if it's snowing? You can forget about him going out at all. He will NOT do it lol. I don't think he likes his feet getting wet and he hates shoes!

[bistaxx]

Actually I don't think I'm gonna publish that post afterall, half cuz I don't wanna rewrite it and half cuz judging by the posts I've seen a lot of people have already said what I was going to anyway- so here's a condensed version- and this is mostly just me getting some stuff out of my system tbh lol

I still really do not get why the server didn't close down for longer/do a hiatus, it just genuinely seemed like the most logical solution from every angle: a financial one, a burn-out one, a reconstruction one, and to strengthen credibility and trust- instead they just kept things going again as soon as they could and it just felt so careless and so cruel to the employees who'd been let go with no explanation or those left in limbo unsure if they still even had a job or not. It also was just not fun at all watching a server that felt like a soulless zombie-shell of it's former self.

I get needing to let go of the egg admins- I'd much rather say goodbye then have them strung along underpaid/not paid at all solely because fan loves them and they rake in views.

That said I wish the goodbye streams were better planned and it's a bitter feeling knowing some of the eggs won't ever get to say goodbye

Somewhat related to above, what Cherry (Em's admin) said on stream REALLY does not give me any hope that this new team will be any better then the last- At the very least I'm glad Cherry has the other former admins and Bagi there to support her.

same goes for the twitter translators who were canned and replaced with AI- like I can get those teams being cut because those roles were imo a LOT to ask out of an employee and not sustainable- it's the way they went about it that leaves an extremely sour taste in my mouth and makes me worry that there could be more fired employees who were treated similarly.

I still really do not know how to feel about the reset especially since we don't know anything about it- Common thought seems to be it is happening on the 24th which like...first of all why is this happening so soon why are you so obsessed with rushing back into things stop it- second of all... I just don't know if I feel comfortable sticking around for it cuz like I said above right now I don't feel like I can trust this new team not to repeat the same shit the past one did (and I'll most likely miss it anyway since I work that day of fucking course LOL)

I don't hate this project, I don't want to root for it's failure, I don't want it all to fall apart- I wanted it to get better- I'm critical of it because I wanted it to be better for everyone. I'm beyond devastated with how this turned out, all the wasted potential from every angle just eats me up inside, I truly thought things were going to get better. A naive hurt part of me is always gonna wish that things do get better and maybe somehow the stories I loved so dearly will somehow come back... but that is such copium lmao

I'm probably still gonna lurk around because I love the community on here and because I am morbidly curious to see what they're gonna do with this project next... I don't think I'll watch personally, but I'll keep up with the liveblogs. I stopped my queue awhile back cuz I felt so bad about the server and everything, but I'm gonna reopen it soon. Even though I still feel too bitter rn to look back on it all fondly I still want to support a talented resilient community that deserved better.

I wish I could feel better about it all, but I'm not gonna waste time getting my hopes up.

[alitgblog]

volume XI thoughts

I did in fact have access to this on Tuesday and started to play but then got distracted and didn't finish until like 2am when I couldn't sleep anyway (this was a mistake I was so tired at work)

movie night!!! And fun movie night titles!! ofc MC doesn't get her own custom one bc everyone's got different names but my MC is named Maya and with how things have been going I'm pretending her movie title is Messy Messy Maya 🤭

Emel and Oakley both being unfaithful in casa but finding (forcing?) their way back to each other and forgiving each other feels very much like something in the show so I appreciate that storyline tbh

Felicity is too beautiful of a sprite to waste as a Casa girl that only shows up for movie night.

Sienna going "I don't care if it's egotistical, pick my movies" because no one else is gonna care to pick hers 😬😬 id feel bad for her if she wasn't so mean

Hari and Hazel are so cute together but it seems like it's gonna die out soon 🥲 Like I see why if Hazel is panicking and Hari isn't the most reassuring guy and also not completely over MC but aghhh he's gonna fumble Hazel to LIAM. Hazel, not LIAM plsss

Absolutely awful that Liam is so funny bc he's such a piece of shit (awful in the best way, like he's so Messy Mitch from LI UK s10 coded and while I don't like him I appreciate the fun he brings). Saw someone suggest that he could be a late game LI and if he evolves and changes, sure, but a lot is gonna need to happen, otherwise give him a last minute jokey option like Hamish.

I think the thing stopping me from going full in on this Claudia route is she keeps going back to Theo, and not like she has to be pursuing MC 100% for me to pick her but I'm just getting mixed signals with her trying to save her relationship with Theo when they clearly aren't into each other anymore but there are plenty other people around.

Not on a Theo route and haven't talked to him but ngl his little video clip was cute like I almost jumped ship to be messy but nahh. I wonder how that's like if you're actually pursuing him though like does it feel like pay off or shock or reassurance or anything.

very nice they had Jin spell it out to Sienna in front of everyone. like kind of mean, but if it was gonna happen at any time, Movie night is definitely the time to do it.

Like even MC's movie clip playing, first of all was just if she slept with someone in casa I think (which, it's fair enough considering the game's limitations but I was missing all the other times she hoed around). So for my MC it was with Claudia, and Claudia barely has a response to it. And so I'm kinda just going towards the character actively pursuing and paying attention at this moment and it's Jin.

I guess MC was honest to Jin so he didn't mind the movie night thank God but also I want to replay to see the drama unfold. but in my head for some reason he'd be shocked it was Claudia bc she didn't say anything and like it'd be one thing if it was someone she just met like Max who she's been friendzoning ever since but another thing for it to be her best friend in the Villa. but alas, that is a large amount of branching and coding and dialogue to write so I'll let it slide.

a recoupling so soon after?? it's not like the season feels too rushed, but like I mentioned before, the pack in so many things in each volume you don't get much of a chance to chill out with the characters and pretend it's a vacation for your character lol

the problem with me playing early is I'm so curious how everyone else's game went. like is it only your OG LI or Casa Boy that can pick you?? And the chat you have with your partner after, does that lock your route because after this I feel there was a little bit less attention on MC from the other LI's (which I don't mind, so they can have their own stories now, but I wanna knowwww)

Shower scene, Sienna throwing another fit one last time for good measure

But now MC is back with Jin and they have all the cutesy interactions again yay

And then we have no rest in the morning, just straight into a DAYTIME heart rate challenge??? I just think this challenge should always happen at night idk

I forked over the gems for the cowgirl outfit (partly bc the mermaid dress was awful and bc my MC has red hair so I wasn't gonna make her dress like Ariel) but i wish there was a costume that was free instead of just your partywear dress? Like it can be a shitty costume but I understand people not wanting to pay gems for one outfit for one night of the game.

Hazel's outfit though 🥵

Such a minor detail, but I do love that despite her being so awful to MC, that Sienna canonically is a very conservative dresser. like we all see her churchy outfits. and I think maybe she's a little insecure about her body and stuff. that being said, the dialogue she has when she's in costume about feeling confident, and her costume isn't super revealing, and the girls being shocked at her dance, is all very good to have. like it's nice to have that type of character around and the fact that she's also the villain rn? she contains multitudes (or I'm reading into it too hard 😂)

mentioned briefly before but Hazel and Liam??? tf??

And now Claudia and Bea flirting with each other? Okayyy I mean my fingers are crossed so here's hoping they find each other if not MC. and they have a lot in common but feel like different characters so like pls let them be together (I say this as someone every few months posting about how it shouldve been Cora and Angie not friendzoned Oliver and Angie in the s4 finale)

ok but his entrance feels so overshadowed by other things going on though like I feel like he didn't get a chance to really bombshell to the point where I think he should've been introduced next volume instead. like have him have a normal bombshell entrance with dates or smth, then maybe when they're all chilling the next day and getting to know him someone brings up he missed heart rate challenge and they suggest he dances for the characters he's most interested in, if we really wanted to get his messy entrance in.

Two unfortunate things are true in my mind: Logan is very attractive (at least when he's got the hat on) and also he looks like Liam 🫣

depending on how this goes my MC may be hoeing around one last time

cliffhanger being the challenge results is lame

am i,,,, actually excited to replay this season 🫣

[marshallpupfan]

New Marshall Merchandise #57... or #32... or #29, I've Lost Count!

You know, I started posting these updates a few years ago, back when many of my followers were curious about anything I added to my collection. Some of them have gone quiet, possibly moved on or lost interest in PAW Patrol. I'm not sure if my current followers have any interest in these updates. At this point, I just post about these now because I enjoy showing off new items of my favorite character. 😇

And new items, I indeed have! Many of these I've collected over the last month or two, as finding new items hasn't exactly been too easy lately. Most major stores are still selling Jungle Pups and Mighty Movie toys, so hopefully anything new will pop up soon enough. Despite that, I have managed to find a few interesting things!

I first found out about this little figurine when it popped up on Ebay, but nobody would sell it without the other pups (Chase, Skye and Rubble... sadly, no Rocky or Zuma). Someone on Twitter told me they seen some at a Dollar Tree, so of course, I tried checking all the stores I have near me. It took a while, but one finally got some in! Best of all, it's only $1.25, so that's cool!

Hey, you know what else is cool?

Accidentally finding another piece of merchandise I didn't expect to see! I'd actually seen one of these on Ebay earlier the same day, but I thought it was a part of some set. Much to my surprise, Dollar Tree also had it, and also for $1.25. It's not the most impressive of the bath squirters I own, but I'm still happy to add it to my collection!

Ha, look at the label! Chase, Marshall, Skye... and Zuma! Well, it makes sense, given he's the water pup, but I still didn't expect that. Nice to see him on a label for once. :)

I'd actually seen pictures of these online a few times over the years, although they were typically branded as Christmas candy. I never could find any at the stores near me, but then a friend said she seen some at Walgreens. I searched around and finally found one... the last one they had left, in fact! Score! And yeah, I likely won't eat it... it'll sit in my collection along with that other Easter candy I got. lol

...huh, I just noticed it's cracked around the neck. I don't think it was like that when I bought it. Guess I somehow did that. Oops... but it still looks cool, right? Maybe I can find one to replace it when they show up again next year... if they show up again next year. 😅

I seen this at a garage sale for $1. How could I say no? Besides, just look at Marshall on this thing! Too cute, as always! 🥰

Actually, this was yet another lucky find, since I've seen these on Ebay for like $10 (with $5 shipping or so). The fact it's practically in perfect condition is also quite awesome. Living in a small town has it perks!

Last, and it's the priciest item today. I seen this while helping my folks with their shopping at Walmart. They had a few, but they were all Marshall. I wasn't going to get one at first, due to just how big it is, but my mother knows I collect practically anything of Marshall, so she bought it for me. Indeed, I'm already having trouble finding a spot for it, but no doubt I will... eventually... along with the other items on my table. Remember my last few updates? Yeah... most of those items are still sitting there, too. I'm running out of room! lol

That's all for now! I actually do have a few more items coming in the mail, so I'll have a few more things to show off soon enough... Valentines plush dolls, in fact. Ones I expected my local Walmart to get, but they never did. Otherwise, a friend of mine in the UK has offered to send me something I believe is only being sold in her country, so I'll get to add another imported item to my collection soon! I always love doing that, so I'm looking forward to getting it!

As for the Rescue Wheels toys, I've no idea when they'll show up. Maybe in June? July? Whenever the USA finally puts the episodes on their schedule. Now that I think about it, they'll probably be the last toys based on the original designs, huh? All future merch will likely use the new style. We better enjoy it while it lasts, I suppose.

[suusoh]

quick check in for our dear author susu!😁 you may or may not answer this ask, im just curious ab sth after i saw your vents. i hope reflecting on these questions can make you feel better though!😃

are you, by any chance, pressured by the attention your works are having? did you not expect that a lot of people will like your craft? do you actually prefer having fewer audiences? i feel quite sad that this toxic world of internet where audiences just look at creators as machines to produce and produce has seemingly taking a toll at you and i sincerely hope you feel better ab it soon and eventually rekindle your love for writing.

love,

your reader

you're very kind anon :-)) thank you for sending me an ask. I hope you're doing good as well?

I've think I've explained things better on my other blog but I'll try my best to answer your questions here as well <3.

(any bitterness or snippiness picked up in this answer is not aimed at you anon!!! you are very very precious and kind. susu is just talking out of frustration.)

Not pressured, maybe overwhelmed and shy at times, but not pressured, no. If i don't like a request I literally don't entertain it at all and will just answer it shortly. If i don't feel it then i just don't.

to be fair I didn't even expect an audience in the first place. I was literally jsut writing because I felt like i was going to explode (or implode?) if i don't get my ideas outside of me. It felt like i ended up just talking to myself with fic dialogue, or staring mindlessly in my room while i just watch scenarios in my head. So i thought, heh, why not make it into a fic. no harm done.

If anything anon, I was quite expecting for myself to be.. uh... niche? I guess my expectations started out wonky because prior to monster, I came from very large fandoms. So as an x reader, as a yandere x reader, and as a yandere x reader who warped johan into her own personal characterization with near zero-canon basis at all just to get her rocks off at that too, I figured I'd just be writing for only a certain amount of people who choose to seek me out.

not sure about the fewer audiences thing, I don't quite care for numbers. But i guess what I preferred isn't "less followers" per se, but I think i would've preferred the energy and the synergy of interactions back then when it was only quite a good number of people. felt intimate. Like can you believe I got more comments when there were less people on here, compared to with more people on here... people are more quiet now?

quiet- in the sense of showing appreciation and enjoyment of the writing of course. the amount of people in the ask box..... is another different thing. my ask box is definitely not quiet.

to be fair anon, I don't think they're doing it intentionally. I guess with how niche monster is and how there were only so few of us here writing johan x reader content, people of course asked for more.

but now i guess i do feel a bit... tired and listless now. Because it felt like i've already achieved my goal of seeing what I want to read. If anything, i think i've written so much content of what i want to see that I've even made myself sick lol.

so now it feels like im at the point where i don't have the same drive as I used to before. there's no personal goal keeping me going, and the people who inspire me to keep on writing are very few and far between (aside from friends of course), compared to those who just wish i'd keep writing so they'd get their daily dose of johan copping a feel up or something. idk.

truth be told. what makes me feel tired is that not only did i grow to loathe my old johan writing and concepts, but it's exactly those concepts that people are drawn to, and keep asking for everyday. which makes me somehow loathe what i've written even more.

And honestly, look i can't blame them. When I wrote those, i was vibrating and i wrote it with so much love and energy at the time, and i'm sure the vibes they still translate into those posts.

but it just feels so so so confusing and honestly... emptying to me that that's all people who come here care about, that's all they ever ask for, and in some weird ironic laughable twist, they don't even show any appreciation for it.

and like shit, im not even sure if appreciation is the right word to use. I'm not asking for praise or anything. but literally just... talk? talk to me? talk about your thoughts on it?

and NO. talking about your thoughts on it is different from downright just sending in something with no explaination. just some blank prompt that you think I'll pick up, go insane over, gush over, and spit out 4 paragraphs worth of whatever you sent in.

and again yes, the glaring answer is "just ignore those asks then lol. pay attention to nice asks instead.

but then again, it's just tiring that the only story comments i ever seem to get nowadays are just those asks. i'm talking about the majority.

and before anyone says i'm too negative or too sensitive for focusing on the bad instead of the good: I do pay attention to nice comments, i hold them close and dear to my heart. made a whole freaking tag and folder just for it.

but it's just that they're so rare and few and far between compared to how much people have the time to type in another request, but can't seem to type in at least one... thank you. or... say that that what i did was... really nice.

and it i feel so confused again because people assure me over and over again that they like my writing, that lots of people like my johan writing.

but with the way i'm treated and interacted with here.... i'm starting to think that sure, maybe people do like my writing: but it only because it gives them their fill.

so whenever i go on a break or when i go post something to express my worries with my blog and i get asks or comments. i just... I have to laugh a bit at just how much of those asks feel like they're saying the same thing:

It's less of "oh no! susu is going away and needs a break." and more like "oh no! now we won't get any more johan."

[hazbinshusk]

Heyo, I've been curious for a bit because you're really consistent with the fanfictions you write (which I'm so thankful for, it leaves a bunch for me to catch up on my days off) buuuut how long does it usually take you to write? How does the planning process go? And any advice you'd give to writers?

You've been doing lovely lately with the kinktober fics, your words are nom nomable 💜

hello, my love!

honestly, the idea that I'm in anyway consistent now is still mind-blowing to me lol. I think right now, it's just a combination of the hyperfixation still going strong, having people who actually interact with me about my writing which gives me motivation to write, and not having the energy to go anywhere on weekends lol.

in truth, I just had two weeks off work, and I wrote about 15 of the fics for kinktober in those two weeks. It's definitely going to be slowing down again soon now that I'm back at work and tired all the time because of it.

it depends on the fic - I tend to write smut faster (not really sure why), so if I get stuck on the dialogue in the lead up, then a fic could take me longer. Once I start the smut, it's much quicker. I'm also a massive procrastinator, even on stuff I enjoy, so while a fic might only take me a few hours all together, that could be spread over a few days. I get the bulk of the writing done on my weekends - during the kinktober writing there were some days where I could knock out three or four fics in a day because the motivation was flowing. Other days I'll sit in front of the laptop and I can barely get a few sentences out.

In terms of planning, I don't really have big plans. There's a husk fic I'm cooking at the moment that in my head has some legs, but the 'plan' is just a tab on the sticky note app with a list of kinks that serve as what each chapter would be lol. I have one saved away for another fandom that has, like every chapter planned out as a dot point, some with dialogue ideas, and transcripts from the original text to work in where needed (and I haven't touched it in months).

For the oneshots, sometimes I'll have a few dot points of stuff I know I want to have in there, but it's mostly just write and see what comes out - if I'm trying to fit a mould I've made, sometimes my asshole of a brain decides it won't be able to fit thoughts into that mould and I end up screwing it up for myself.

In terms of advice, the best I can say is write for yourself? the minute writing begins to feel like a chore, I lose the spark. It's why I'm trying to be really open about requests not having any time frame - my last fandom I overloaded myself with requests and it ended up feeling more like work than fun. Pairing that with the fact that I would write requests for people and they wouldn't reblog or like or let me know if they even liked it... it sucked. But now, it's for me, most of all. I love all of you so much for enjoying it and taking time to do things like this and I wouldn't trade it for the world, but I need to keep in mind that I am, first and foremost, writing for me.

maybe not the most practical or helpful piece of advice, but its what came to mind :)