#I don't remember ANYTHING about my life back then I only found escapism in that club and morocco and hakim and nous that year

[mchiti]

my friends i usually don't make post like this because I choose peace usually n I don't like to indirect ppl but like. I guess i've reblogged a total of 3 old posts in recent times from aj*x gud days and I only went to check on one of those acc out of curiosity and I saw them posting about finding this amusing/weird. as in "what's up with the nostalgia from fans of these players, it's been years, u weren't even watching aj*x" (i guess this was about the ziy-ech ona-na post from yesterday lol) and on one side it was funny bc i watched *counting* 5+ years worth of eredivisi-e I should get a medal for that alone. My usb drive full of old memories I occasionally go through to feel happy. u want to know something about aja*x those days I have everything at ur disposal. 16 april 2019 in ams, I was there. I mean just to say we can't really assume what people liked or didn't like before just to shame strangers having fun u know

[a-hazbin-reader]

I've seen you mention that alastor would make little deer bleats in a few fics, do you have anything for the reader hearing him bleat for the first time, like reader said something flirty that caught him off guard or while petting his ears, alastor would definitely be the time to be like "what ever are you talking about dear, you're hearing things" and try to change the subject out of embarrassment

- 🐞

I LOVE IT

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Suggestive, Explicit s e x towards the end

Description: ☝️⬆️

Alastor makes deer noises, usually when he's pissed off or exerting some of his power

It's a very emotional and unintentional thing, something he normally can't help or hide

Usually, you can hear buck grunts, warning calls, though elk bugle sounds dominate most of the other noises he makes

You didn't even know he was capable of making softer sounds until you found out by accident

The two of you were alone, sharing a romantic moment with you in his lap and his hands caressing your body

You had pulled away from the kiss to catch your breath when his twitching ears suddenly got your attention

Not that Alastor minded, keeping his mouth busy with your neck and shoulder instead

As if you could ever pass up the opportunity to touch those fluffy ears...

You couldn't help but scratch and rub his furry ears, leaning into kiss one while giving it a playful nip

Only to be surprised by the soft bleat that escapes from Alastor and the way his entire body goes stiff out of embarrassment

"Alastor, did you just-"

"Would you look at the time?! I must go, darling! Things to do, people to see!"

Leaves you on the floor, on your back, and in shock

You try to bring it up to him later but that doesn't work-

"Alastor, about that sound you made..."

"Hm? Oh! I merely had to clear my throat! Not to worry, darling! It won't happen again."

"But I want it to."

👀

It becomes a game between you two, well...more of a game for you, Alastor has never been so nervous in his fucking life

You're on a mission to hear that adorable noise again by any means possible

He's eating breakfast?? You're leaning over him and kissing along his neck while pouring him tea

Which doesn't work, he just tilts his head and gives you a contented growl before continuing with his meal

He's taking a small break? Eyes closed and relaxed? You try going for his ears again, massaging them

That doesn't work either, instead he gives you a warm smile and pulls you down to lay with him

You try flirting with him, maybe you can say something sultry and catch him so off guard he makes that sound again?

Instead, you just get yourself into trouble because instead of something small and subtle you just drop a fucking bomb instead

You corner him and pin him to the wall, mustering up every bit of courage and control to push forward

"Do you believe dreams can come true? Because I dream of you cumming inside me."

WHAT THE FUCK Y/N WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT PICK UP LINE

Angel

Oh that makes sense

It doesn't work, instead Alastor gets a predatory look on his face and he's pulling you closer to him

"Luckily for you, my dear~ I happen to have a soft spot for dreamers such as yourself~"

Oh fuck

It actually does end up working in your favor, just not the way you thought it would

You don't even remember how you end up naked on your back, legs spread to accommodate Alastor between them

Both of you are close, having been at it for hours at this point, desperate ragged sounds coming from the two of you

Your nails are digging into his back, no doubt leaving nasty marks that he'll later tease you for

He has one clawed hand on your hip while the other grips and makes deep grooves into the headboard

You're nearly out of it, mind fizzy and hot with the feeling of being so full of Alastor's cock that you almost miss your chance

You know exactly how to get that sound out of him

Suddenly, your legs lock around him and you're tugging him down to you to give him a desperate steamy kiss

He's caught off guard and startled but eagerly reciprocates your actions, chasing a building orgasm between you both

He pulls away to growl and pant, head rolling back as his thrusts become sharp and erratic

You tug him back to you by his hair and suddenly give him a watery smile, barely able to hold on because you're so close

"A-Alastor...haa...I love you...~"

And that's what does it, his eyes widen in surprise as he suddenly releases inside you, letting out a pathetic sounding bleat

He's so mortified afterwards, burying his face in your chest as you comb your fingers through his hair. Both of you shuddering and trying to catch your breaths

"You...you are an evil evil person..."

You can't help but laugh and kiss his head, scratching around his antlers affectionately

"I love you too, Alastor~ Every part of you~"

This one got away from me...it's probably not what you asked for but... I hope you like it!!

[teaboot]

I'm surprised/impressed? by how blase you are about people threatening you at work. A neighbor threatened me last week and it was so scary and I wish I could have had the same kinda response you seem to.

First off, I hope you're safe and okay, that's an awful experience to be familiar with and especially bad that they live so close to you D:

Second, I'm certainly no maverick out here- I've only been doing this a few years now- but I've found that about 99% of threats I receive have very little intent to follow through.

The type of threats I usually receive are typically from:

Someone who's had bad experiences with security or police, in the past. People with hand and face tattoos, homeless folks, people with mannerisms that get them labeled as "sketchy", POC, and people who've been incarcerated all have valid reason to believe I'm out to get them, and may get treated badly elsewhere often enough that they're expecting that. Every time I approach someone, I have to take this into account and do everything I can to signal that they haven't been profiled based on preexisting stereotypes.

Someone experiencing the symptoms of a mental health condition. People with mental illnesses are statistically victims of crime more often than they are perpetrators. That said, I have run into people before whose mental illness can present as aggression- if someone behaving erratically or is known for that sort of thing tells me they're gonna blow my brains out, but I can clearly see they're unarmed, not coming towards me, haven't hurt anyone, and show no intent of escalating, I'm probably not in danger. A few people I've met will see me again in a day or two and will have no problems with me at all.

Someone who is scared, frustrated, anxious, or grieving. Not to excuse violence in any context, but in my experience 99% of people who blow up at me aren't actually thinking about me. Anger isn't so much an emotion in a lot of ways as it is the reaction to another emotion- if someone tells me they're gonna kick my ass, I have to question if there's anything they may be frightened, frustrated, or sad about something else entirely. If I can address and resolve what's causing the anxiety, the anger usually goes away next. If I can't deescalate, my next job is to disengage and make sure myself and others aren't at risk of harm.

People who want something from me. This does not happen often. Maybe they want me to back off, or leave them alone, or let them take something, whatever- maybe they think I'm someone with clearance to use physical force, or they think my flashlight is pepper spray. Whatever it is, once they've made it clear they're willing to act, I back off. Unless they're hurting another person, nothing they want is worth getting stabbed or shot over. And physical conflict is insanely stressful, even for the attacker, so even then whoever threatening me will likely take any "out" I can give- I keep paths of escape clear, stay out of range, keep calm and respectful. Every time this has happened to me, the person has run away when given the chance.

People who genuinely want to hurt me and intend to follow through. Again, this is super uncommon- I think it's only really happened to me once or twice on the job. Yes, it's scary, but I find it helps to remember that they arent after me, they're after the uniform. If someone is coming after me in costume, so to speak, it's not who I am as a person, it's what I represent. And a lot of people seem to think I'm a cop, or see me as a faceless goon, or a past abuser, or an intruder in their life specifically sent to make them miserable. If that's what they believe, there's not much I can do to change their mind except, again, stay calm and respectful and disengage.

I do know how to defend myself to an extent, but again, I don't have weapons or restraints or a vest or anything and I'm kinda small on top of that so really I'm cool with hauling ass if I gotta. If me getting the fuck out of dodge resolves the issue then I'm not above radio'ing HQ from the top of a tree somewhere, that shit is above my pay grade.

TL/DR in my personal limited experience, someone who has told me that they're going to hurt me wouldn't have given me the warning unless there was something I could do to avoid it. Stay calm, don't yell, be respectful, give them an escape route and run if you need to

Stay safe out there, yeah?

[weaselle]

RECOVERY

I spent a lot of my life depressed without admitting it to myself and then i spent a year so depressed i could hardly make myself do the bare minimum to keep my body alive, and now it's about 3 years since i got up from that lowest point and while i am still struggling with myself things are objectively a lot better.

and i just want to put a couple things i've learned, both to remind myself of how far i've come, and in case any of what i've experienced helps anyone else.

You can't run from the darkness

When you're super depressed it's easy to focus on how much you don't want to be depressed. When everything is darkness you tend to wish you could escape that darkness.

but you can't. The darkness is all around you. You can't run away from it without running deeper into it.

instead, follow the light.

don't think of it as escaping depression, think of it as seeking joy. Don't run away from the darkness, walk toward any lights you can see.

At first it will be very small things. The taste of a food. The way your favorite color looks. A smell you like. For me one of the first things i could find to remind me of joy was the way a warm shower feels.

I would just stand in the shower and lean into the tiny, tiny joy of that feeling. I would describe it to myself, how it felt good, what about it felt good. It didn't cure me, it didn't make me less depressed, but it was a little point of joy to focus on, to breathe into like a tiny candle flame in my darkness.

I would memorize that feeling, so that later, when i felt like nothing ever brought me joy anymore, i could think, no, that's your depression lying to you, you felt joy, however small, right there in the shower just yesterday. And, maybe there is more somewhere else.

Even today, it's been a hard week, i'm feeling a lot of hopeless and helpless feelings clamoring away at me, but... i have spicy soup. And spicy soup is a NEW joy. I found spicy soup joy as i was following any little light i could out of the deepest part of my depression.

I never put hot sauce in soup before then. But today i am drinking the broth of a very spicy soup and as much as everything else is complicated and difficult and scary and dark, there is a bright mote of joy in this sip of spicy soup. And in the next one. And the next. I enjoy it, i love it, all the more that it is new, and if i had given up four years ago, i never would have known this small joy, this new favorite tiny thing.

Who knows what other little joys i may find?

If you have come to a place in life where you have lost the knowledge of how to feel joy, it is important to remember that feeling joy is like anything else in life. The more you practice, the better you get, the more of it you can do at higher levels.

And there are only so many minutes in the day. The more of them you spend acknowledging what feels good, the less of them will be left for feeling bad.

you can't escape the darkness by fleeing from it, but you can find the light by moving toward it.

Chop Wood Fetch Water

Another thing i learned was a truth about the exercise advice you always hear.

For where i am in my recovery now, common exercise has very little impact. I don't really get the endorphins people talk about, and i don't tend to feel better about myself after i work out unless i already feel pretty okay about myself to begin with. i don't mean to say there is no point in me exercising, but, i walk about ten miles a day holding onto 8 energetic dogs and i do a fair amount of lifting and bending and stuff for my job, and it's fine but it's not, like, doing a whole lot for me at this point in my recovery (tho i do think more recreational exercise will come back into play a stage or two on in my healing process)

HOWEVER

There was a year there where i was only getting out of bed to go to the bathroom. When i was only able to force myself to eat just enough each day to stay alive because i'd made a promise to myself, and that promise was almost all i had left.

and the right kind of exercise is what pulled me out of that.

the RIGHT kind.

See, someone close to me needed help with a physical job. That was an important part and why this method is known historically as some variation of Chop Wood Carry Water -- it's intensely physical, which is important, but also, it helps the people around you. These days our personal communities tend to not need wood copped and water carried the same way. But you can get the same effect helping someone move all their furniture, doing all the yard work for your friends and/or family, volunteering for a charity that builds housing for homeless people, SOMEthing physically taxing that helps people.

In my case, my aging father needed help re-shingling the roof. So i promised i'd help.

So i got up every morning because he was expecting me. And i climbed the ladder because he would see me if i didn't. And i lifted and carried and hammered and worked hard. It took a week of six to eight hour days.

Right away, the fact that it was helping someone else made it not matter so much that it didn't feel like it was helping me at first. I couldn't deny that i was doing something good, that my existence had positive meaning, however small.

But very soon, it changed something fundamental in my state of depression. You can't do physical labor in the sun 7 hours a day without drinking a bunch of water. Without working up an appetite. Without getting very tired at the end of the day.

See, i had been struggling to make myself drink enough water, i was fighting to make myself eat even one small meal's worth of food each day, and i couldn't get a good night's sleep to save my life. And these things all made my depression much much worse. You think you get sad or angry from skipping a meal, consider being chronically undernourished. You think your mental state is worse after pulling an all nighter, think about what never getting a good night's sleep does.

But a couple days into this job with my father, and suddenly i was hydrated, i was eating full meals, and i was sleeping soundly at night.

THAT is what pulled me out of that deepest part of my depression.

So in a way, it was exercise that saved me. But not how people often say "have you tried exercising?" More like pushing myself physically to the point that my body demanded the things that previously i couldn't get it to want for itself.

Instead of forcing myself to eat i was craving food. Instead of staying up to all hours and then tossing and turning, i was physically exhausted and slept early and hard. (and, weirdly, being physically exhausted was somehow a relief from being emotionally/mentally exhausted)

Lastly

Healing often isn't noticeable while you're doing it

"healing is a process" is something you hear a lot, but i think it's more helpful to say something like

"Healing is like growing your hair out from short to long. You can look in the mirror every day and not notice it happening. And even when you can tell for sure it's longer than it was, you still can't really do anything with it, and it may seem pointless. But then one day you can tie it back in a ponytail and you realize how much it's grown and how many options are open to you now and you're really glad you stuck with it"

Now excuse me while i go meditate on the joys of my remaining spicy soup.

[valsverse]

but i love her !

summary: to say that leo valdez is absolutely enamored with you would be an understatement. so, why don't you like him back?

pairing: leo valdez x fem!reader

word count: 2.3k

LEO VALDEZ does not just like you. no, it is much more than that.

leo's feelings for you surpass mere affection. his love for you is deep-rooted and unshakable, transcending the limitations of the heart and mind. he doesn't just love you with his heart, which can falter or stop altogether. nor does he solely love you with his mind, which may fail him one day. no, leo valdez loves you with every fiber of his being, every inch of his soul, and every essence of his existence. his love for you is all-encompassing, unequivocal, and forever enduring.

so why don't you like him back?

when you first arrived at camp, leo was immediately taken with you. while he had a reputation for falling for girls completely out of his league, this time was different. he knew deep down that he would do anything for you, even if it meant risking his own life. he couldn't pinpoint the exact moment he realized this, but he was sure that you were the one he was meant to be with. despite piper's concerns, leo was undeterred in his pursuit of you.

as you sat at your usual table in the dining pavilion, enjoying dinner with your cabinmates, you were completely immersed in the moment. laughter filled the air as you chatted about your day and shared stories of past quests. just as you took a bite of your dinner, you heard your name being called out loudly and persistently. turning your head in the direction of the voice, you found leo standing right in front of your table. as you tried to recall any previous interactions with him, confusion washed over you. you've only ever spoken to the boy about a grand total of once, and you don't even remember giving him your name.

leo slipped into the empty seat next to you, his smile beaming as he waited for your reaction. gasps escaped the mouths of several of your cabinmates, because, well, isn't it forbidden to sit at another god's table?

“sooo, is this seat taken?” he asked suavely, and you mentally rolled your eyes at his attempt at charm, knowing exactly where this was going.

"well, it wouldn't matter if it's taken or not, because you aren't supposed to be sitting here in the first place."

he only smiled dreamily, seemingly unfazed by your response. the tension in the air grew thicker, and someone let out a snort, unable to contain their amusement at the situation.

it took you a moment to piece together what was happening. leo's sudden changes in behavior around you, the not-so-subtle glances, the smiles, and the way his eyes would light up - it all made sense now, although you didn't want to admit it. leo valdez had a crush on you, and there was nothing you could do about it.

leo leaned forward on the table, his chin resting on his hand. he was brimming with enthusiasm, and you couldn't help but feel just slightly uncomfortable in his presence. "can i ask you something?" he inquired eagerly, his eyes fixed on you.

you sighed inwardly, not wanting to engage but feeling obligated to respond. "do i have a choice?" you quipped, attempting to mask your discomfort. leo didn't seem to notice, too caught up in his own enthusiasm.

suddenly, he pulled out a metal rose from his pocket, presenting it to you with a flourish. "wanna be my girlfriend?" he asked, a hopeful expression on his face.

your siblings snickered around you as your eyes widened in absolute horror. your face felt hot with embarrassment as you struggled to maintain your composure.

"i practically just met you!" you protested, feeling the need to state the obvious.

he had clearly anticipated a different response, going so far as to prepare a metal bouquet in anticipation of impressing you. however, his efforts were in vain. "i'm sorry, but no." you replied firmly, not giving him any room for negotiation.

it was clear that this was not a successful attempt at romance.

from that day on, it had become the norm for leo to actively pursue you, as he had made it his mission to win your heart. you couldn't deny that he put in a great deal of effort. and he was plenty consistent. for months.

you couldn't help but notice his constant presence, as he seemed to magically appear everywhere you went, making it impossible for you to ignore him.

despite his persistent efforts, leo never pressured you into anything you were not comfortable with. he respected your boundaries and always made sure that he did not cause you any discomfort. it was clear that he adored you, but he never allowed his feelings to dictate his actions towards you.

interestingly enough, it was the reason behind your initial hatred for leo that began to fade away. unfortunately for you, once that seed of doubt was planted, there was no going back. you found yourself unable to justify your previous animosity towards him, in fact, you began to feel guilty for the ill feelings you harbored towards the boy.

after leo's clumsy attempts at asking you out, things became quite awkward between the two of you. you did everything in your power to avoid him, convincing yourself that you loathed him. however, despite your best efforts to push him away, the universe seemed to conspire to bring the two of you together. in fact, you even found yourselves forming an unlikely bond that some might even consider a friendship. leo would somehow magically appear in the same places you happened to be (though he always insisted it was a coincidence), and you found yourself unable to shoo him away as you used to do. yet, despite this newfound closeness, leo's attempts to win your heart remained as elaborate and over-the-top as ever.

from writing your name in fire surrounded by a heart, to asking you out with grand gestures and signs, he never seemed to give up. unfortunately for him, all of his efforts were met with either an indifferent stare or a frown.

maybe your feelings towards leo had changed somewhat, but that did not make him any less unbearable.

"i just don't get it!" leo complained to piper during free time that day. "i thought me and y/n were making progress, but today she didn't even look at me!"

piper paused from sharpening her dagger and looked up at leo. "what makes you think you were making progress?"

"she let me sit next to her yesterday."

piper couldn't help but let out a laugh, quickly covering it up with a cough. "that was for like two minutes," she scoffed.

leo's face fell. "but i swear i saw her wink at me a few days ago!" he protested.

"she was only blinking in your general direction."

leo mock-glared at the girl. "seriously, you're like an aphrodite kid, aren't you supposed to know this stuff?"

piper rolled her eyes. "shut up. okay, but seriously, come on. think about it. leo, you tend to get infatuated easily and your crushes never last. it's inconsistent. she probably thinks your feelings for her will change once you find someone new."

leo took a step back, not expecting her answer. "but that's not gonna happen!" he retorted, eyes wide with exasperation. "i love her, i swear!"

"prove it to her then." piper responded, running her fingers through her choppy locks. "go find her and prove it."

and that's exactly what he was going to do.

it's been days since you last saw leo. the usual sight of him following you around, asking to hold your tote bag, or just plain flirting with you is now a distant memory. your tote bag, which he usually holds for you, is now slipping off your shoulder as you sit alone with a feeling of emptiness. you've only seen him run in and out of the workshop, waving at you with the same fire in his eyes but not speaking to you. you keep looking for his head of curly hair everywhere you go, but the inevitable disappointment strikes you every time it isn't him.

although you had been trying to deny it, the truth was that you missed leo terribly. despite his occasional obnoxious flirtations, he was actually quite easy to be around — even more than that, even. maybe you had developed feelings for him that ran much deeper than you ever anticipated. you've been grappling with your emotions for quite some time now, and you were certain that your mask of indifference had already slipped off without your knowledge. you slumped against the wall you were leaning on, feeling the weight of your emotions.

if leo were here, he would have moved you to somewhere you could sit more comfortably, instead of a damn wall. if leo were here, he would have taken your tote bag off your shoulder already, making sure you were not burdened with anything. the absence of his presence now makes you realize just how much he meant to you and how much you miss him.

you pushed yourself off the wall you were leaning against, making your way back to your cabin to sulk, when it happened.

you spotted leo approaching you. his strides were large and purposeful, and you could practically see the determination in his eyes. you could tell he had just emerged from the workshop, his face smeared with soot, but that didn't seem to bother him at all. before you could even react, he had his arms on your shoulders, shaking his head as he gasped for breath, clearly winded from whatever he had been up to. "i've been looking for you everywhere," he said urgently, not giving you a chance to respond.

"okay, look. you know i like you, y/n. you're not like anyone else i've ever met. you're kind, and smart, and funny, and beautiful. and i know that sounds like a lot of flattery, but it's true. i don't think i've ever met anyone who makes me feel the way you do. you make me feel alive, and happy, and.. stuff. and i don't wanna lose that. don't wanna lose you."

he took a deep breath, then continued, "i'm not going to pretend that it was always you, because i've liked other girls before, when i didn't really know what liking someone meant. what i felt for them is not even comparable to what i feel for you right now. it hasn't always been you, but from now on it will."

"i can tell you feel the same way too, even if you try to hide it. you always have a little grin on your face when i come around, and i know you still keep all the things i made for you in your cabin, even though you act like you don't care. but i get it, you're scared. that's okay. i'll prove to you that there's nothing to be afraid of. i'll be devoted and take on more responsibility, because you inspire me to try harder. if you could just give me one chance."

he took a couple steps closer, reaching for your hand, and intertwining his fingers with yours when you didn't pull away. looking deeply into your eyes, he adjusted his grip, his crooked grin indicating that he had rehearsed what he was about to say.

"i guess what i'm trying to say is..." he trailed off, and then pulled out a metal rose from his pocket, just like the one he had given you when he first asked you out. however, this one was special, its intricate patterns reflecting everything that reminded him of you.

"wanna be my girlfriend?" he asked, just like he had all those months ago.

you didn't even hesitate, you just pulled him in by the fabric of his shirt and slotted his lips with yours into a long-awaited, giddy kiss.

a/n

ookaayyy it's been a while since i've read the books so leo may be a slightly ooc here?? or not?? y'all i don't know i'm trying. 😭😭

xx val

[freyaphoria]

Run Away Together (Part I)

tw: Yandere Hongjoong, kidnapping, hwa is kidnapped too, food mentioned, manipulation, blood, gun, torture mentioned, family issues mentioned, slightly seongjoong but idk what are they too, yandere seongjoong x reader

wc: 2318

a/n: Hello! I think most people don't like the yandere theme, should I stop writing in this theme? Idk I should continue writing or not, so if you give me feedback, i would be happy :,)

Yandere!Matz masterlist

you can read the side story here

a day with them

next part ->

"If Hongjoong saw what you were doing, he would tear us both apart." You jumped so much at the sound you heard that you almost lost your balance. You suddenly turned around and looked at the dark corridor where the voice came from. "Seonghwa please, let me go.” Seonghwa was walking towards you with slow and silent steps. You really didn't want to think about what Hongjoong would do to both of you if he found out you had escaped from your room

Seonghwa was always more tolerant in your relationship; He was the best option between the two in your emotionally weak times. Hongjoong, on the other hand, was more strict and rule-making. Seonghwa would relax Hongjoong's rules for you when he wasn't around. Out of the two of them, the idea of kidnapping you came from Hongjoong and Seonghwa felt guilty towards you for not being able to stop his idea. That's why he treated you more gently.

"Angel, don't make things difficult and come here." As he walked towards you, you took a step back. "Seonghwa, let's run away together. He's not at home anyway. He won't know until we go to the police." You said in a pleading tone as you reached your hands forward and tried to stop him. "Police? Even the nearest grocery store is 3 hours away from here. We might even fall prey to wolves in the forest while trying to escape." You stopped when your back hit the outside door. "Don't you have a phone?" Tears filled your eyes as you realized he wasn't going to help you. Seonghwa was your only friend here and you thought maybe he could help you out. "Remember, I was once his victim, just like you. He destroyed my phone in front of my eyes when he brought me here." He reached out a hand to you and caressed your cheek. "Why don't you give in and try loving him? Believe me, he's not someone to hate." Isn't he someone to hate? You harshly removed Seonghwa's hand from your cheek. "Hwa, he kidnapped us! Are you aware of th-"

"If you treat him like that again, I will teach you a lesson you will never forget."

You lost your balance backwards when the door behind you suddenly opened and Hongjoong grabbed you by your arms harshly from behind. "As if trying to escape wasn't enough, you also tried to persuade Hwa, and on top of that, you were rude to him. Know your place." You tried to avoid his grip. "I'm not rude to him, I took his hand away from my cheek. You are exaggerating. And if you're not happy with it, just let me go!" You said all the words in one go, and Seonghwa was praying to stop you from going any further and saying anything.

Hongjoong had the scariest look you had ever seen in your life. He could make anyone do whatever he wanted with just one look. Now he's giving you the same look, waiting for you to kneel in front of him and apologize. But this time you weren't going to fall for his trick. You will walk out that door no matter what the cost.

The door was still open and Hongjoong's grip was gradually loosening. "Angel, don't be stubborn. Come on." Seonghwa gently grabbed your shoulder, trying to pull you inside. Hongjoong's silence scared him too, and he almost knelt down and apologized for you. Hongjoong noticed Seonghwa getting nervous and nodded at him. "Hwa my prince, you go inside and wait for me." Seonghwa instantly listened to his order and went towards the living room. He didn't want you to get hurt, he would have stopped Hongjoong if he could. Hongjoong would include Seonghwa in all your punishments so that he wouldn't forget his place. Him telling Seonghwa to go inside made you panic. "Police, huh? What will you do when you go to the police? Who will believe you?" He took one of his hands from your arm and placed it on your stomach. "Look at you, I take good care of you, I even made you gain weight since you came here. Your hair and clothes are also clean. Who would believe that someone kidnapped you? Do you have proof?"

He was really taking good care of you. He prepared your 3 meals with the highest quality and also provided snacks. Ever since you learned what would happen if you didn't eat with a harsh punishment when you first came here, you had been eating everything on your plate out of fear.

"They will believe me! I have been missing for months. They will definitely ask what happened!" Right now, in Hongjoong's eyes, you were like a child throwing a tantrum because she wanted more candy from her mother. "I've told you a hundred times that no one is looking for you. Your family is very happy to be rid of you." Ah, he started again. His favorite thing was to hit you at your most sensitive point, the problem between you and your family. If you continued to listen to him, he would manipulate you again and make you stay here. So you hit his stomach with your elbow and broke away from his grip. You slipped away from him, went out the open door and ran into the front yard.

The fact that he wasn't following you caught your attention and scared you, but there was no turning back now. It was the first time you had stepped outside in months, and as Seonghwa once said, you were in the middle of the forest and it was pitch black. You couldn't see where you were going and you were constantly losing your balance because the ground was full of large tree roots. The best thing you could do was try to go as straight as you could and keep running until you saw a road or a house.

Hongjoong went to the terrace, watching with amusement as you excitedly tried to escape. One of his favorite things was to give his victims such small hopes and then shatter those hopes. When he first brought Seonghwa here, he tried to escape with all his might. He even tried to fight Hongjoong. But he gave up after a while because he was caught every time. Hongjoong was sure you would be the same.

Seonghwa looked at Hongjoong from the terrace door. "Go and bring her to me before she falls and hurts herself." Hongjoong said to Seonghwa without taking his eyes off you. "Me? But I don't know the way. We'd both get lost." He hasn't gone out since he came here, except his small escape attempts. He didn't know the forest too. Hongjoong placed his hand on his forehead in distress and sighed. "Then you two should get lost and be eaten by the wolves, Seonghwa. I told you to go and bring her here." When Hongjoong raised his voice, Seonghwa got scared and immediately went downstairs and took the flashlight. He didn't want to run outside in this cold, so he called out to you. "Angel! Please come here! The forest is too dangerous!" When he couldn't hear a sound from you, he huffed and went outside and started looking around with his flashlight. When he couldn't find any sign of you, he looked up at Hongjoong on the terrace and shrugged. Hongjoong gestured with his hand towards the right and Seonghwa ran towards it.

He wanted this to be over as soon as possible, he ran towards you with all his strength, balancing himself with the illumination of his flashlight. When he took a break to catch his breath, he saw your curled body under a tree and jumped. "Agh! You scared me!" As he approached you, he moved the light to the side so that it wouldn't dazzle you. "Let's go. Hongjoong is angry. Let's not make him more angry." You still had your back turned and were not looking at him. This made Seonghwa shiver and he placed a hand on your shoulder to get your attention. "Angel? Are you oka-" When he looked at you, he saw you staring blankly ahead. "Stop being mysterious and stand up. He's watching us from the terrace. The longer we stay here, the worse it will get."

You turned your head towards Seonghwa. "Hwa, I hear car noises. If we run fast enough, we can catch one and get out of here." Seonghwa leaned towards you and put his hands under your armpits, pulling you to your feet. "Stop talking nonsense. We're in the middle of the forest and there's no driveway here. Like I said, the nearest grocery store is 3 hours away from-" "How do you know? You've never been outside either?" You interrupted him and asked in a whisper. Seonghwa rolled his eyes at you. "I know because Hongjoong said so. Now come on-"

Just then you heard a horn sound.

Seonghwa has never been this deep in the forest before. So he wasn't sure if Hongjoong was telling the truth or if there was a highway around here.

"Did you hear that?" you asked excitedly. It was clear from Seonghwa's surprised face that he heard it too. "No, we shouldn't do this. We shouldn't be here. Hongjoong will kill us." You took the flashlight from his hand and held Seonghwa's arm with your other hand. "Then we will die together. Rest assured, it is better than this life."

You pulled his arm and started running towards the direction of the voice. On the one hand, Seonghwa felt guilty for betraying Hongjoong, but he also wanted to be free. His feet were moving without him realizing it. After a while, he ran ahead and started pulling you. He seemed to want freedom more than you did. He had to take part in all of Hongjoong's crimes. Hongjoong was more obsessed and more brutal when he first kidnapped him, he had tortured Seonghwa for years with all of those aspects, and unlike you, he had no one by his side. After his tortures, he didn't have a friend who could wrap his scars and caress his hair to put him to sleep. Of course he suffered more than you.

"Seonghwa stop! I can't hear!" You stood together, waiting to hear a sound, breathless. There was complete silence and for a moment you thought you were dreaming. "We're sure we heard a horn! Maybe the cars have stopped passing. Let's keep going, we'll definitely find a road!"

Everything happened suddenly. If you ask in seconds, everything happened in 5 seconds.

1 Seonghwa held your hand again

2 You again shined the light of the flashlight in front of you

3 Seonghwa pulled your hand and prepared to run

4 You fell to the ground when something hard stabbed your leg.

5 You felt a warm thick liquid flowing down your thigh.

Since they kept talking about wolves, you first thought that a wolf had bitten your leg. Then, when you didn't see an animal next to you, you looked at Seonghwa. Seonghwa was staring at you on the ground, frozen in place with fear.

"What happened?" You couldn't feel anything because of the adrenaline. You just felt the warmth. "He shot you."

You couldn't see anything left behind because the light falling on the ground illuminated your face. You knew someone was there when Seonghwa lifted his head from you and looked forward. As the person in front of you moved towards you, Seonghwa stepped back.

"Hwa, give me one reason why I should forgive this action.” This bastard... This was the first time Seonghwa had gone this far, so he couldn't think of anything to say and fell to his knees out of habit. "Hongjoong plea-" "Okay, shut up, I'll think about whether to forgive you or not when we get home. Now you..." He turned to you and crouched down next to you. "What should we do with you?" He ran his hands through your hair and caressed it gently; His tone of voice and the fact that he was stroking your hair while you were lying on the ground covered in blood did not match at all.

"Since you are responsible for this, you will suffer the most punishment." He pointed the gun at your head. "Should I kill you and bury you right here or-" He held your hair harshly, lifted your head and looked at you with that scary look again "or do you want to continue living and rot in my basement?"

Seonghwa was watching you with holding his breath. Hongjoong had the potential to shoot you at any moment. "Have I still not taught you that when I ask you a question, you must answer? How good of a person I am. I even offer options." He fake laughed. Seonghwa stepped forward. "Hongjoong! It happened suddenly, we weren't thinking, forgive her." Hongjoong slowly turned his head towards him. "Do you want me to ask you the same question or do you want to shut up?" Seonghwa immediately fell silent and lowered his head.

You slowly started to feel the pain in your leg. "Kill me." He was looking into your eyes so deeply that you could feel his gaze on your soul. "I said kill me! It's better than living with you!" You shouted at him, driven by pain. "Uh wrong answer!" He pulled the gun from your head and held you in his arms. "Put me down! I want to die!" You were so cute when you were having a tantrum, he thought.

"Now, let's go back home and think about what you've done. Hwa my prince, can you hold the flashlight for us?" Seonghwa immediately did as he said.

He prayed for you and for himself along the way.

next part ->

note: English is not my first language. If you find anything ridiculous in what I wrote, you can tell me lol.

[jinxthequeergirl]

The Ol switcharoo (pt4)

Stan x reader/ ford x reader

Summary: You journey into stanfords mind for the sake of the shack when you learn more than you probably should have

Warning: none Look, I'm trying to lay down more romance. The stakes are gonna get raised soon. We can't keep tiptoeing guys

Also sorry if it feels a little choppy and all over the place

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~☆~~~~~~~

Stanford had been distant a lot more than you would like to have admitted over the past few weeks. Sure, you'd get the kids together, and all of you would hang out and have your own little adventures, but more often than not, you couldn't find him before you followed your new adopted great niece and nephew out the door for the next great adventure or activity for the summer.

You loved going out with them, taking them to lunch, or to shop Dipper even more recently, inviting you to monster hunt again. But when you weren't invited and the kids went on their own journey, you found the house was only quiet.

In the what seemed to be rare and far in-between days stan was with the three of you, you felt a great wave of peace wash over you. The four of you laughing in the car after narrowly escaping one of stans crazy ideas, sitting with him on the back porch, watching the kids run around.

You felt a buzz inside you when you sat next to him, watching him laugh at dippers water balloon hitting the ground without a pop. You loved your routine with him before the kids arrived. It seemed like that was becoming all you knew.

But the shack felt different with laughter filling it up. And if you realized it or not, those two kids were bringing you closer to Stanford when he hung around. You took a deep breath and scooted in closer to Stanford, his arm instinctively wrapped around the back of the couch, letting you fill as much space next to him as you wished.

"I can't believe this is my life now. I don't know what i did to deserve this." He said, looking down at you as you now watched the twins in the yard. "Everything happens for a reason, remember?"

"I guess so." His hand fell softly onto your shoulder, snuggling you closer. "Look out!" You and Stanford both jumped up as one of the water balloons landed where you were once sitting.

"Can't a guy get any peace around here!?" You laugh at him as he runs out into the yard demanding a balloon.

The feelings washed away, knowing he'd be hiding by tonight.

He was right, though. You couldn't believe this was your life as of right now.

"Y/n?"

You hummed in response as you cleaned dippers cut. "Would you say your feelings for Grunkle stan are...of the romantic kind?" Mable asked from right beside her brother her own adventure wounds needing to be rented too.

"Mable!" Dipper yelped, knocking her over with a nudge. You laughed out loud at her question. "Sorry..sorry." You cleared your throat. "Excuse me. Mable, what would make you ask something like that?"

"Oh c'moonnn as a love expert-"

"Your twelve-"

"I can see how you and grunkle stan look at eachother, you've been friends for years, and you've really never felt anything more than friendship for him?"

You bit the inside of your cheek as you thought about her question. "I guess maybe a few years ago... but things were different back then, and I never knew how he felt about me. Besides, so much time has passed that I'm sure that old fart feels anything other than tired anymore." Mable jumped to her feet and smashed your cheeks together.

"Y/n it is my mission as a matchmaker and love expert of gravity falls. I make it my mission to get you and my grunkle together!"

"Mable, why do you even care? Grunkle stan has shown no interest in anything other than money since we've been here."

"Dippers got a point." You say pulling tables small hands from your face. "Besides, I'm not taking love advice from the girl who dated little Gideon not too long ago."

Mable's face grew red, and she pulled the neck of her sweater up. "Ugh, don't remind me." You chuckled again, refocusing the attention to the wounds on each kid as Dipper went back to explaining what had happened in the first place.

You'd gone the next few weeks thinking about mables question. Did you still have feelings for stanford?

It wasn't something you thought much about. You two just existed with eachother nothing ever really came out of it since you were young. Besides, you'd never make a move unless you knew his exact feeling for you. He'd been so secretive recently that the only way For that to happen, you'd have to get inside his mind to find anything like that out.

Of course that was almost impossible.

"Y/N THERES A LITTLE YELLOW GUY TRUING TO TAKE OVER STANS MIND WE NEED YOUR HELP DIPPERS GOING TO TAKE US IN THERE COME ON COME ON!"

Of course maybe you spoke to soon.

"Mable slow down! What's going on!?" You asked as she dragged you by the sleeve into the family room where Stanford sat sleeping.

"So like we saw little Gideon in the woods and poof a little yellow man appeared and he made a deal with him to go inside stans mind to get the code to the safe that Mr pines keeps the deed in." Soos explained in one long breath you could see his face Turing a strange shade of red and violet.

"Wha-"

"No time we need to go now before it's to late!" Mable cried before you could even think to ask for clarification or any follow up questions.

You followed along with what Dipper told you to do, and you watched as he read from an oddly familiar book.

You make a note to ask him about it later.

Your thoughts were cut off as dippers chanting got louder, and before you knew it, the world had melted away from you, and you were suddenly sitting in a patch of grey grass.

"Wow! This is stans mind?" Mable said, hopping up and looking at the grey landscape before you.

You pushed yourself and looked around jaw on the floor. "I've done some pretty crazy things in my day, but this is beyond me..."

"Thanks for coming along y/n!" Mable said.

"Of course! You know you can count on me for anything, kids."

"OK, we need to keep an eye out for the triangle guy." Dipper stated as you headed twoard the shack.

"Yea, look put for the triangle guy!" You jumped at the voice that appeared out if no were surprised to see it belonged to exactly what the kids and soos had said.

"It's him it's the guy!" Soos said in alarm pointing at the glowing shape.

"You leave our grunkles mind alone, you isosollies monster!" Mable shouted as she charged at him. "Mable!" You and Dipper shouted each holding out an arm to grab her.

You watched in horror as the triangle swallowed her up and waited a minute before spitting her back out into your arms.

"Stan's family, it's good to finally meet you! Some more than others!" He said, floating particularly close to you as he said so. You scowled at him and shielded Mable from him. "Names bill cipher."

"Get out of stans mind! You have no business here!" Dipper shouted.

"Trust me, kid! You're the only one who should be getting out of here your way over your heads." His one winked as he shot a finger gun twoard Dipper shooting ahole through him. "I'm gonna find that code and and you're not going to stop me!"

He flew away, leaving a triangle shape hole in the shack.

"We gotta get that code before that freak does." You said pausing to giggle as Mable reached her arm through the hole in dippers chest.

"Mable!" You coughed and put on a serious face. "Alright, kids...and soos.. let's go."

You lead the way into the shack of stans mind your eyes darting from door to door each labeled a different thing.

Fears, hopes, etc.

"Look! Stans memories!" Soos pointed out. You all ran into the hall watching memories play out all around you. "Quick, let's split up and cover more ground."

You turned to open a door but the mables' hand caught yours. "Look what I found!" She squealed with giddy. "You found the code? Already?" She shook her head and dragged you out down the memory hall and too a door with a heart carved into the wood. Signage warning against opening the door nearly covering every inch.

"What is this?" You asked the girl beside you. "Look for yourself." She lifted up a "get lost" sign to reveal the doors true label.

"Y/ns memories."

"Oh Mable I dunno...we should really be looking for the code."

"Oh, c'mon, you said it yourself that you never really knew what he felt for you it wouldn't hurt to look!"

"Yes, Mable, it would! the shack is at steak-"

Before you could continue, Mable had opened the door and pushed you in. "Face your fears y/n! Face your emotions!" She slammed the door shut on you. "Don't worry y/n we'll find the code before bill does, I'll come back for you when we do!"

you huffed and stood up dusting yourself off, this was ridicules you knew how Stanford felt about you you've known each other for what felt like your whole life. Besides you told Mable already if anything was to happen it would have by now. your hand grasped the door handle as you prepared to chase the twins and Soos down.

"Congratulations!" you heard a voice say from behind you. you turned to see one of the many doors cracked open. despite your better judgment to go after the kids you went straight for the door pulling it open. to see your wedding day.

well, your fake Vegas wedding. stan stood at the counter with the cashier in a dinky thrift shop on the outskirts of Vegas itself, waiting for you. "oh right..." you mumble to yourself watching your shared memory through Stans eyes.

"I'm sure you're very excited about the wedding." Stanford shrugged. "Trust me, I've been married a few times...this ain't nothing new for me." you frowned a little, you weren't sure why, you knew that's how he'd felt and it wasn't a real wedding. "Stanford! Look at this!!!" you yelled excitedly to him pushing open a dressing room curtain behind him.

you excitedly spun around in the wedding outfit you had picked out, you were so much younger, it suspired you too see yourself.

you watched Stanford's face flush upon seeing you his eyes fixated on you jaw almost on the floor. you didn't remember him looking at you like that. "wow you look...you look amazing!" he said rubbing the back of his neck trying to find the right words. you squealed in a pitch similar to the one Mable had done earlier before shutting the curtain again. "you were saying this wasn't something new?" the cashier asked raising a suspicious eyebrow.

"listen between you and me this whole Vegas wedding isn't anything new for me...they're corny, cheap and lousy all things y/n doesn't deserve any of that stuff, and I don't know why I'm telling you of all people, but I've known y/n for a while now the way she makes me feel isn't like how anyone has made me feel before I could never tell any of this too her, I've ruined to many relationships I could risk losing her in my life so try to act nonchalant about these types of thing, don't want to give myself away you know." the cashier stared at him unsure of how to react to all the information dumped onto him.

"here's 20 bucks to forget everything I said." he said sliding money across the counter.

you shut the door with a smile before looking down the long hallway. you crept over to another one. opening the door only to see a normal night you asleep on his shoulder as he continued to talk about the movie that was playing without realizing. it took him a whole monologue before realizing you had passed out. he leaned over careful not to wake you but enough to see you where sleeping.

he took a deep breath before talking some more. "Here goes nothing, y/n you've been with me through thick and thin when no one had my back you where there...I guess what I'm trying to say is y/n I...I think I have feeing's for you...you've made me an honest man in some ways...and.." you jumped upon hearing screaming.

"Oh no Kids!" you took off running swinging the door open and running down the hallway running past memories trying to find the kids. "Dipper!? Mable? Soos!?"

"Dipper!-"

"This here's a-"

"Stan Vac-"

"Stanley do something-" you could no longer hear the kids let alone see them in all the noise of Stanford's memories. you began running out of the memories hall in hopes you'd find them somewhere else. "Dipper!? Mab-" the wind was knocked out of you as you and dipper crashed right into each other. "Y/n! there you are!"

"Dipper you're ok! where is your sister and Soos!?"

"Bills got them! Don't worry I have a plan!" you followed dipper through Stanford's mind following his exact plan, you never even thought about what you could do in ones mind, flying and giant water guns didn't never even cross your mind.

"Hey one eye!" you and dipper grabbed bills attention as you floated up to his level neon colored squirt guns in hand. "WHAT!?"

"Dipper! Y/N! how are you doing that?"

"This is a mindscape you can do anything you imagine in here!" you explained."who told you that? dont liten to them!"

"ready dipper!?"

"ready y/n! aim and..."

"Fire!" you both shot your water guns at bills eye causing him to cry out in pain, you watched Mable conjure herself kitten fists and launched them at bill.

"Now think of a portal out of stans mind!" the four of you shut your eyes and all thought as hard as you could as a portal opened up under bill. "No No No wait! wait! wait! ENOUGH!"

you all flew back as the space around you was now a white void. "you know you're all a lot smarter than you look! I'll let you go for now, you might prove to be useful especially you y/n."

you scrunched your nose at him. "but remember there will come a day when everything you care about will change! until then I'll be watching you!"

there was a bright flash and he was gone. "well that wasn't ominous.." you said "we did it though! He left!" dipper cheered.

before you knew it Stan woke up and you were all wakening up in the Livingroom. and for a moment everything was normal again. "Ugh I had the weirdest dream." stan said rubbing his head. "You're ok!" you exclaimed running over to hug him and planting a quick kiss on his lips. his face heated up as you did so and before you knew it the kids had joined the hug.

a few hours later you'd gotten the kids to go to bed and found Stanford sitting on the back porch. "care for a drink?" you asked offering him a pitty cola he accepted with a smile. and you sat down next to him.

"where have you been?' you asked. a lot had happened today a lot that made you think things over and you decided to start there.

"what do you mean?" he asked with a chuckle. "I've been right here like i always have."

you shook your head. "Most days we can't find you, its been me and the kids or just me in the house, a lot has changed since those two came around most of its been for the better but i didn't think it would drive you away."

he frowned. "do you trust me?"

"Of course." you answered without hesitation.

"I've been working on something i cant tell you what but it's important. and I'll tell you what if it bothers you so much, I'll be around more." you smiled.

"good, I miss you." you said bumping into him.

you both chuckled and then there was a beat of silence you looked up at the sky and took a breath. "Stanford."

"Yea?"

"I think...we'll in light of some recent events...Stanford you mean the world to me."

"uh-oh is something wrong? why are you getting all sappy?"

you took another breath and exhaled all the words you were trying to say.

"Stanford pines I think I'm in love with you and I think you feel the same way about me!" you covered your mouth after you spilled it all. and he stared at you in shock. "Y/n...I uh..."

"I know this is random...buy. You know better late than never, right?"

stan stared at you in awe where your eyes sparkling in the starlight. was this really happening to him right now?

"Stanford?" you placed a hand over his when went silent. normally he would jump at an opportunity like this. sweep you off your feet. But as he stared at your hopeful eyes all he could do was wonder how much of what you felt was really for him, Stanley Pines and how much of it was for who you had believed him to be.

"Oh come on Grunkle stan! Take her on a date already!" Mables voice shouted from above you.

"Mable? what are you doing up!?" you shouted standing to your feet to look up at the twins practically hanging out their window. "yea c'mon Grunkle stan!" dipper agreed with his sister.

"Date! Date! date!" the two kids cheered into the night air.

"alright! alright!" stan said trying to shush them.

"y/n...would you do me the honors of going to dinner with me?" you laughed and his heart swelled at your answer. "Of course Stanford pines."

~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~

Taglist!:

@muffin1304

@katharine3000katharine3000

@leo4242564leo4242564

@space1crow

@steveharringtongf

@mckennaishere07

@nothingbutclouds

@anicegaanicega

@i-am-tiredd

@babydoll-143

@fanficcrow

@slay-thou-pookie

@bandaids-n-porceline

@world-of-shadows-and-music

@randombuddys

 @ritzes28

@pandaquick

@miarabanana

@marvelous-maniac

@spookysister

@teenagetrash00

@fudosl

@grimometry

@aweleyirene

@rapunzelbro

@fries11

@willowydreams

@marshhbs

@friendmagazineprincess

@kittykat82sk

@bigraga-sk

@creat0r-cat

@melodia3

@chaneylhb

[changbunnies]

All About You (18+)

♡ Pairing: Royal Knight/Bodyguard!Minho x Princess!Reader

♡ Genre: age gap, royal au, historical au, arranged marriage au (reader only), angst, kind of forbidden love? (maybe more than kind of), basically porn with plot

♡ Word Count: 7.5k

♡ Summary: You, the princess who ran away from the castle after finding out your father, the king, has finalized your arranged marriage. Minho, your royal knight and glorified bodyguard, tasked with bringing you back home at all costs. When found, you hit Minho with a very interesting proposition- for him to be the one you share all your "firsts" with, instead of your inevitable husband.

♡ Warnings: age gap !! reader is ~23 while minho is in his 40s, please don't read if this makes you uncomfortable!, uneven power dynamics, outdated traditions and views on women to suit the setting, brief reference to death by guillotine and death in general, mentions of injury and swordfighting

♡ Smut Warnings (contains spoilers): lowkey corruption kink, loss of virginity (reader), pet names (princess (mostly as a title), good girl), slight sub + dom dynamics, soft dom minho, a lot of kissing (should be expected from me atp), nipple play, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), slight overstim, unprotected piv, multiple orgasms, creampie

♡ Notes: at this point i am determined to write a royal au fic for every member, and my newest offering to you is minho <3 i was literally possessed writing this like once the idea hit my brain i had to get it out asap

♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.

Fuck. Minho was absolutely fucked.

In recent years, he had one job, and one job only, and that was to take care of the princess. Make sure she’s safe, escort her to where she needs to be and watch over her at all times– that’s all. Not always an easy job, but one of vital importance that Minho took with utmost seriousness. In the 3 years it’s been since becoming your royal knight and glorified bodyguard, he never messed up this critically. 

You always had a rebellious streak and challenged authority, everyone in the castle knew that. And part of Minho’s job, apart from keeping you safe, was keeping you in check– and the king made it extremely clear that failing to do so was not an option.

He lost track of the amount of times he uttered the words “Princess, please think rationally,” or “please consider your responsibility to the kingdom, don’t do this,” in a near desperate attempt to get you to listen to reason. 

And today, he fucked up the worst he ever had. He knew you were upset tonight, but he was under the impression he successfully calmed you down, and that you wouldn’t do anything rash. He turned his back to you, thinking the storm had been quelled, and that you’d listen to your father, even if doing so felt like pulling teeth. He underestimated however, just how deep your sadness and anger truly ran, and the very moment you saw an opening, you took it. 

You fled from the castle with blind determination, nowhere to go and with little of value in your hands, fueled purely by the desire to escape your unfair circumstances, and live your own life by your own means. You may not believe it, but Minho understood, and felt for you– he really did. But that didn’t change what his duty was, and even if it made you hate him, he had to do his job to the best of his ability. 

So now here he was, roaming the streets looking for you, the hours passing in a blur. You must’ve done a good job of concealing your identity, because no one he asked had seen a young woman matching the princess' description. And as the minutes ticked by, and sunset turned to midnight, he was at a complete loss of what to do.

He made record time combing the entire bustling town, stopping into places full to the brim with people in the hopes he’d catch a glimpse of you in the crowd, and yet there seemed to be no trace of you anywhere. It was easy for someone to hide their presence in a crowd, or in the rowdy environment of a tavern, and you were more than intelligent enough to blend into a crowd and divert attention away from yourself.

It was entirely possible that Minho had seen you at some point, and simply didn’t realize it, though he liked to believe he’d recognize you anywhere, no matter what you wore. Minho scowled, clenching his teeth as he scanned the dark horizon of the treeline; should he check the outer walls of the town for a clue, or double back and check the streets again?

He doubts you made it out of the town easily, considering you likely had no money on your person and little experience with the realities of the world. You were intelligent, yes, but sheltered; he could easily imagine you quickly getting in over your head, thinking you could make it to the next town without issue, only to end up lost and in need of help, with no one for miles to hear your desperate cries. 

Fuck. If he couldn’t find you, his head would most certainly be meeting the cold steel of a guillotine. He had no family who would mourn his loss, but still, he wasn’t ready to face his mortality. And the king, despite being someone he could call a close friend, would spare no mercy if he failed to keep his one and only daughter safe.

But really, there was more to it than just the threat of death that kept him searching for you. Believe it or not, he genuinely wanted you safe and well, and he'd do anything to ensure you made it back home, even if it made you curse him for the rest of his days. 

As if God himself heard his prayers and decided to grant him a miracle, Minho sees you– there, on the outskirts of town, holding your cold hands up to your face and letting your breath warm them. It’s dark, the street barely even illuminated enough to discern your recognizable features, but he knows without a doubt that it's you standing there in the cold street, because truly, he knows you anywhere. 

By the time you realize you’ve been spotted and recognized, it’s already much too late to flee. Minho approached you with utmost haste, reaching out and grabbing your arm, lest you make the foolish decision to try to escape again. His hold, while not rough enough to hurt you, is firm, and it only takes one attempt at pulling your arm from his hold to know this is it; your escape attempt has failed, and you’ll be dragged back to the castle and reprimanded for your “temper tantrum.” 

Your father never listens to you, no matter how hard you try to make him understand and see your point of view. Maybe if you were born a boy, your opinions would be important to him, and he’d see you are more than an object to pawn off to whatever man gave him the most political power.

“Princess–” “I’m not going home,” you interject before he even has a chance, though you already know it’s in vain. There is no avoiding returning to your glorified prison now that Sir Minho has you in his grasp. 

He sighs, but his face changes to one of sympathy, his grip on your arm loosening ever so slightly. “Can we at least go to an inn room? It’s not safe for a young lady to be on the streets at night,” he reasons with you, as gently as he can manage.

Normally Minho is quite stern with you, but you get the impression that he feels being stern isn’t the right approach tonight. You’re known for expressing yourself very vocally, even when doing so is extremely ill-advised, and he is well aware of how opinionated and fiery you are. 

But treating this display as anything other than a genuine act of desperation, a culmination of years of perceived disrespect and conformity, would be another critical error– one he can’t afford to make. So he will be firm, yes, but gentle in his approach.

You frown as you look at him; you’re stubborn by nature, and part of you wants to fight against him until the bitter end, but he’s not wrong about the streets being unsafe for you at night. You know he won’t let you escape again come morning, but that’ll have to be a problem for later; for right now, you really should heed his advice and go to an inn for the night. 

“Fine,” you concede, much to Minho’s relief. He could’ve forced you to go with him if he really needed to, but he’d rather avoid doing something so unpleasant. He leads you to a nearby tavern, which is still bustling with activity even at the late hour.

He keeps you close as he pushes through the crowd of rowdy drunks to the dual innkeep-bartender, hoping that there is still a room available. The man departs, coming back with a key dangling in hand, “You’re in luck. Last room’s all yours.” 

Minho thanks the man and pulls out his satchel to pay him, leaving a few extra coins as a tip before stashing it back in his pocket, along with the key he was given, and the two of you go up the stairs together.

“There’s only one bed,” you comment as you step inside the room, though Minho doesn’t seem to care much about that fact. “That’s fine, don’t plan on sleeping anyways,” he says as he removes his leather scabbard from his back, resting it against the back of the chair in the corner of the room. 

You frown as you sit on the bed and watch him; he must’ve been in a hurry when he received word you fled from the castle, as he wasn’t wearing any of his armor, strictly in casual wear you’d very rarely seen him in. Probably for the best, you think, because if anyone saw a royal knight desperately searching the streets, multiple alarms would be raised.

He lights the fireplace, hoping to quickly spread some heat throughout the cold room, before he sits in the chair, crossing his arms and watching you carefully. Deserved, you suppose. How is he supposed to trust you’re not going to flee at the first available moment just as before?

You certainly don’t make his job easy for him; he can’t take his eyes off you for a second. The silence between you lingers for some time, the crackling of the fire the only sound either of you hear, apart from the muffled patrons enjoying their drinks downstairs. Minho, despite his relaxed posture, looks like he’d be ready to jump up at a moment's notice should he need to. 

You sigh; should you just try to sleep? It’d feel awkward and uncomfortable to try to fall asleep with someone's eyes boring holes into you, but you really didn’t give him much of a choice. “Do you want to tell me why you ran away from the castle?” Minho asks suddenly, breaking the tempered silence between you. “You already know the answer to that,” you respond, crossing your own arms now. 

“Is marrying Sir Jin really so bad?” he asks, and you scoff, rolling your eyes. “Yes, obviously. I don’t want to. Not that you or my father care about me or anything I think.”

Minho’s brow furrows, the frown on his face growing. “Princess, you know that’s not true. I do care about you.”

“Do you? I haven’t been able to tell in the slightest,” you counter a bit harshly, “and you could help me if you wanted to, you know. I’d be fine out there if I was with you.”

Okay, maybe you’re not being fair to Minho right now. You do know he cares, but realistically, what is he supposed to do? If he disobeyed your fathers orders, he’d be lucky if his only punishment was a swift death.

He was assigned to you because your father trusts him to do the right thing and follow orders dutifully, a trust that is usually not misplaced. But he has to admit, the more and more time he spends with you, the more he feels for you. 

Minho never knew your father, the king, to be an unreasonable or cruel man, but in your eyes, he might as well be the devil himself. And maybe he is cruel– because how do you strip someone of their freedom and choices for your own gain, and not see the harm it causes, the wrong in it?

You are more than a pawn, more than a subject, more than his daughter– you are a person. A person with thoughts, feelings, and opinions as real as any mans, who did not deserve to be treated lesser than for the simple crime of being born a girl. 

But what is Minho if not an upholder of the status quo? He was just a single man, and even if he recognized how unfairly you were treated in comparison to the golden child that was your elder brother, what was he supposed to do? He always performed his tasks dutifully and without question, and it wasn’t until he met you that he began to struggle with what he should do, and what he wants to do.

And maybe he could get you out of this town, help you live a quiet, modest life somewhere new, away from the watchful eye of your father. Where he could be your protector, same as now, but without the guilt, burden, or threats.

You know you shouldn’t take your frustrations about your life out on Minho, but he’s really all you have. You trust him with your life, and he’s shown you multiple times that he cares about you beyond the duty he has to you, or to your father. He's your only confidant, the only person in the world you can rely on. 

Your eyes linger on the scar across his nose– he got it protecting you, the other man’s sword barely missing his eyes and cutting just across his face, and it was only one of many scars he obtained in his service to you. He’d pick you up and run with you in his arms when you were injured, he’d fight off attackers without breaking a sweat, sustain injury after injury all to make sure you were safe.

You’d watch his back, always stunned and mesmerized at the ease at which he cut down your enemies, as if they were nothing but paper. When he’d turn back to you, breathing heavy and sweat only just starting to trickle on his brow, his eyes would turn from the harshest winter chill to the gentle warmth of a spring morning.

He was quiet, stern, but his care ran far deeper than one would think just by looking at him, and all you had to do to see the true depth of his feelings was look in his eyes. So you knew it was unfair to accuse him of not caring about you, to expect him to go above and beyond for you, to ask that he go against your father to give you what you want. But you were just so sad, frustrated, angry, that you couldn’t stop yourself.

“Maybe you’ll grow to love him if you give him a chance,” Minho suggests; you both know that’s never going to happen, but what else can he say? He never married, and had no children, dedicated to his duty as he was; he had no real advice to offer someone when it came to love, romance, and the like, but he imagined it wasn’t impossible to fall in love if you just met Sir Jin with an open mind.

But as stated, that’s never going to happen. You’re stubborn to a fault, and once you’ve decided something, there’s no changing it. The best Minho can ever manage to do is get you to reconsider, but even then, you’re still likely to go about things the way you originally wanted to, with no regard for consequences or keeping up appearances. You’re a fiery woman, there was no doubt about it, and you don’t let go of things easily. 

“The mere thought of giving that man all my firsts makes me sick, it’s vile,” you scrunch up your nose, making your distaste for the man very clear. Minho doesn’t even think you’ve actually met the man yet, but you’ve already decided you hate him– you don’t want to marry him, and so you’ll be firmly stuck in your opinion, no matter what anyone says. 

“Maybe this isn’t advice I should be giving you, but.. You don’t necessarily have to. To give him your firsts, or love him. Find someone you do love, even if you have to keep it a secret, and hold him with all you’ve got. It still wouldn’t be ideal, of course, but.. Well, it’d be something, at least.” Really, Minho is supposed to encourage you to be an obedient daughter and listen to your father without question, but he knows you well enough to know that’s a fool's errand. 

You’re never going to listen, never going to be obedient, never going to stop being opinionated. So what’s the next, most realistic piece of advice he can give? Lie, of course. Make your father and inevitable husband believe you’re a good, obedient wife and daughter, and then go live the life you really want behind their backs.

It's dishonest as all hell, and there would be consequences if you got caught, but if you’re going to be miserable no matter what you do, you might as well try, right? It’s what Minho thinks he would do if he were you, anyways. 

“What about you?” you ask and Minho raises a brow in question. “What about me?” he asks, and what you respond with makes him feel like the air has been punched out of his lungs. “What if I gave my firsts to you?”

Did he hear you right? There must be some mistake with his ears, there’s absolutely no way you said what he thinks you did. “You– what?” Surely you can’t be serious about this. You’re the princess, and he’s just the man who happens to be your guard; a man who is your fathers age at that. But the way you look at him, he can tell you’re not joking in the slightest.

“Princess, I couldn’t possibly accept that,” Minho says sternly, his arms no longer crossed but instead resting on the arms of the chair, hands beginning to grip tightly so he can ground himself and try to make sense of this insane situation.

“Why not? I’d be happier if I gave it to someone like you. I trust you,” you say so nonchalantly it makes his head reel. What the fuck is happening right now? 

And truly, Minho was the ideal man; at least in your opinion. He was handsome, mature, realistic and practical, knew how to reel you in without disregarding the root of what you feel or being disrespectful to you.

He never dismissed how you felt, made you feel over emotional or like a fool who overreacts; he’d ask you to see reason, sure, urge you to think more before acting, but he never, never made you feel like your feelings were invalid. And he genuinely cared about you, and you liked him, were attracted to him, so if the opportunity presented itself then.. Why not take the chance? 

Fuck. Minho was absolutely fucked.

You were just freshly 20 when Minho first met you and became your guard, and hard as he tried to never see you beyond the platonic, he’s always viewed you as an attractive young woman. He liked your fiery spirit, liked how you had the bravery and gall to challenge authority, a skill that in recent months he felt he was sorely lacking. Your attitude was refreshing, and despite your circumstances, you never acted like a damsel in need of his help. 

In a different life, in another world, maybe you two could have met as equals, not painfully stuck to the rules of an unfair, unforgiving reality. You’d be each other's foil; you, the impassioned dreamer with as many thoughts and ideas as there were stars in the sky, and he the realist, who didn’t dim your light but tempered it into a steady, sustainable flame.

You’d take him out on adventures, out of the strict box of his comfort zone, and he’d ground you more firmly to reality, never discouraging your dreams but making sure you took the necessary steps in the right way, responsibly. You'd match one another perfectly, complementary and meant for each other. 

But that’s not your reality, and you both know it. There would never be any coming back from this if you go through with it, and there’s no ideal, happy future for you two to share. “I’m not so disillusioned to think this would be anything other than sex for you,” you continue, and he swallows, mind still racing impossibly, “but it’d be much more meaningful for me with you than some bastard I don’t like in the slightest.” 

You’re wrong. So wrong, and you don’t even know it. It would never be “just sex” with you. You mean much, much more to him than you even realize. “You won’t regret asking a man like me? There’d be no taking it back once it’s done,” Minho can’t help but ask, rationality and reason desperately trying to gain control. 

Despite what your father may believe, you’re a grown woman capable of making your own decisions. And this is a decision you make with full knowledge of what it means for you, more than willing to accept whatever consequences may arise for committing such a sin.

In an ideal world, you’d be allowed to love who you wish, live where you wish, do what you wish. But this isn’t an ideal world, and if there is only one thing you can ever be granted in this life that feels as if it isn’t even your own, it would be this– to have one night, just one night, where you can be the person you want to be, with Minho by your side.

“You’re free to reject me if you’re not attracted to me, but.. My only regret would have been not trying. So I ask, are you not attracted to me?” He looks you over carefully following your question, grip on the armrests tightening.

Admitting that he’s attracted to you may as well be a death sentence. But he can’t lie to you, completely at your mercy. Fuck the king, it’s you he’s really loyal to. All he’s ever done, all he ever will do, it’s always for you. He’s always tried to act in your best interest, to do the right thing, to keep you safe and protected. But does keeping you safe even matter if you’re miserable? 

“I am,” Minho swallows, answering honestly despite his better judgment, “You have no idea how attracted to you I am.”

“So why hesitate?” you ask, fingers trail down your lap, over your knees, to where the very bottom of your dress lies. He watches you, eyes darting from your hands back to your face. You’re watching him too, carefully, considering his every reaction before you make your next move, impressively calculated. 

You take the hem of your dress in your hands, pulling it up leisurely, getting it halfway up your thighs before Minho rises from his chair. He's is in front of you in an instant, his hands grabbing your wrists and stopping you from lifting it any further.

“You’re playing a dangerous game, Princess,” he breathes, voice low and strained; he can’t lose control of his desires, but fuck, you’re making it so hard. You look up at him, meeting his gaze with the same fiery determination you always have, but there’s more there than just that this time. Desire, want, need– all for him.

Fuck it. He’s going to get burned, but maybe it’s worth it. You’ll be his funeral pyre, engulfing him in your flame until all that remains are the ashes of the man he was supposed to be. And what a beautiful way to end his life it will be, lost between your thighs, feeling your nails dig and claw at his skin.

He lets go of your wrists, one of his hands coming to cup your face, thumb tracing over your bottom lip. “Has anyone ever kissed you, Princess?” he asks and you give a slight shake of the head, breathing a soft “No..”

He hums, and there’s a twisted sort of pleasure he derives from knowing he’ll be your first in every conceivable way. You’re not “innocent,” he knows you’re not, but there’s something about being your first kiss, your first cock, your first everything that makes him crazy. 

“And you want me to be the first one to kiss you?” he follows up with another question, corners of his mouth threatening to twist into a smile when you nod, a soft, honest “yes” leaving your lips effortlessly. He leans down towards you, keeping your head tilted up so he can easily meet your lips.

He does so softly, treating you with care. His lips are softer than you expected, and the feeling of them against your own fills you with butterflies. He carefully tilts you back, and you let your body fall back onto the mattress, head hitting the surprisingly soft pillows.

Minho crawls over you, spreading your legs apart just enough to get between them, your dress now hiked all the way up your thighs. He’s hovering over you, looking down at you with so much love and lust and that it leaves you speechless. “I’ll need you to listen to me tonight. Can you do that for me?” he asks, pressing light kisses to your jaw, under your ear, your neck. 

You can, because it’s Minho. He’d never hurt you, never try to control you, never make you feel lesser than. So you can listen to him, because you trust him with your care; he’ll take good care of you, you know he will. He smiles when you nod, and you see him smile so rarely that it makes your heart skip a beat; his role always requires him to be so stern and straight faced, that seeing him smile down at you like this is enough to melt you into a puddle. 

“You’re a good girl when you want to be, hmm?” he hums against your neck, resuming his trail of kisses against your skin, and you can’t explain why, but the words and tone he says them in makes your stomach flip.

If you were in a different world, and didn’t have to return home to the castle tomorrow, he’d take his time marking your neck, filling it with pretty shades of blue, purple, and red, sinking his teeth into your soft, supple skin. He just knows you’d look so pretty like that, and the way you react when his breath tickles your skin and his lips linger, tells him you’d like it too.

His fingers trail down your body, finding the hem of your dress and pulling it up over your chest. You lift your back off the bed when he separates from your neck, pulling your dress off the rest of the way and discarding it to the floor. He kisses you as he fiddles with the straps of your bra, effortlessly unhooking it in the back and pulling it down your arms and off your body. 

He may have never married, but he’s no stranger to being with and pleasuring women. And he’ll make sure he makes this a night you’ll always remember for all the right reasons. Capturing your lips in another kiss, his hands take in your now bare breasts, gently kneading and squeezing.

You try to squeeze your legs together, but his place between your thighs stops the act from happening, and he chuckles against your lips when he realizes what you’re doing. “Be patient, Princess, I’ll take good care of you,” he whispers before kissing you again, and you let out a small whine, not knowing exactly what you want but knowing you want something.

You gasp when he takes your nipples between your fingers and pinches them, not too hard of course, but enough to give him the chance to slip his tongue into your mouth. Your body shudders, you feel dizzy with pleasure and excitement, and the feeling of his tongue circling yours is impossibly intoxicating. 

One of his hands travels down, over your stomach, coming between your bodies to feel your heat over your panties. He’s barely even begun and you’re already soaking the fabric, your eager anticipation for more of his touch palpable beyond all else. He nips at your bottom lip, gently tugging it between his teeth before soothing the sting with kitten licks, his hand slipping inside your panties to feel how slick you’ve gotten directly. 

Your body jolts when his fingers run between your folds, and he barely has to move them at all to get his fingers completely coated in your arousal. He pulls back to look at you, taking in the sight of your flushed face and swollen lips, pretty and perfect.

You’re panting, breathless, overwhelmed in the best way possible. You keen when his fingers rub over your clit in circles, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you lift your head from the pillows to watch. “Feels good, doesn’t it?” he asks, suppressing a grin when you whine and quickly nod your head.

“Want more, want you,” you mutter, the most timid you’ve ever been in regards to a man. He coos, giving you a sweet kiss as he continues his stimulation to your sensitive spot. “Remember what I said? Patience, Princess, you’ll get what you want. We can’t rush and have you getting hurt, can we?” 

You pout as you concede, and God, he finds that so cute; he’s never seen you actually act shy and pouty before, and it makes him want to give you the entire world. He’ll give you everything you want, anything you ask for, but he’ll have to remember to tease you first so he can see that cute expression on your face before he gives in to your whims.

“I’ll make sure you’re nice and ready for my cock, so just be a good girl and follow my lead until then. You can do that for me easily, can’t you?”Another shy nod, another adorable flushed look that makes his cock throb in his trousers.

It was a little intimidating for you, knowing how experienced Minho must be due to his age, and feeling like you must fall short in comparison to other women– women who knew what they were doing. But really, that was just your own insecurity talking. He didn’t mind at all that you were inexperienced; in fact, it excited him for reasons he didn’t entirely understand. 

Maybe it was the knowledge that he was the first to touch your skin, or maybe that someone as determined and fiery as you are is allowing yourself to concede control, to let him be in charge of your pleasure, trusting him to bring you to utmost bliss. What bigger display of trust could you ever show him? Your glassy, pleading eyes, begging him for more but still waiting for it just as he asked– you’re too good for him. He’s going to ruin you. 

He takes his fingers away, and you have to physically stop yourself from whining at the lack of contact, lest he remind you again about “being patient.” “Open your mouth for me,” Minho requests, and though you are a bit confused, you do as he asks immediately, obeying without question.

Fuck, that’s hot; the image of you, mouth open, tongue slightly sticking out and waiting to receive whatever he gives you is something he never wants to forget. Minho slides two of his fingers into your mouth, instructing you to lick, to get his fingers nice and wet.

Truthfully, you were more than lubricated enough to take his fingers without this step, but he couldn’t resist the urge to see you this way. He pushes his fingers in your mouth down to the knuckle, and you persist with coating them in your saliva even as you gag and tears prick the corners of your eyes. 

He showers you with praise, slipping his fingers out of your mouth when he feels satisfied with the work you’ve done on them, kissing your cheeks, feeling the heat of your face on his lips. Slipping his hand back inside your panties, he presses the tips of his wet fingers to your hole, and you instinctively suck in a breath, body unconsciously tensing from the anticipation.

“You have to relax, Princess, it won’t feel good if you’re tense,” he explains sweetly, shaking his head when you mutter a soft apology. “Don’t be sorry, not for that. Just focus on me, hmm? On this,” he whispers, his lips lingering on yours in a deep, impassioned kiss.

His fingers stay completely still until he feels your body start to release its tension, heeding his advice to focus more on his kisses than the motion of his fingers. He keeps kissing you even as the first of his fingers finally starts to push inside you, and you moan into his mouth, hot pleasure licking your skin. 

He moves his finger in and out slowly, making sure you’re well adjusted before he pushes in another one, hooking his fingers to find that delicious sweet spot he knows will have you crying his name in no time. You gasp loudly when he finds it, your hands twisting the sheets beneath you between your fingers, your entire body trembling.

It feels so good you almost can’t breathe, and when he picks up his pace, hitting your spot over and over as he brings his thumb to your clit, you know you won’t last long at all. “M-Minho, I’m– 'm gonna–” you try to warn him, but the words die in your throat, the pleasure too overwhelming to continue to try and form a sentence.

He simply hums, continuing his motions until your eyes are rolling to the back of your head, sharp, shuddery gasps and moans tumbling from your lips as your orgasm takes you. “That’s it, just let go, just like that, I’ve got you,” he praises, pressing kisses to your hot skin, helping you ride out your high.

Before you can even fully recollect your breath and get your racing heart back under control, he’s pushing a third finger inside, the trembling in your body intensifying from the addition. “You need more to get ready for me,” he tells you, and in your fucked out state all you can do is nod, taking his word as gospel truth, “need to stretch you good to make sure my cock fits.”

All you can do is lay there and take the onslaught of pleasure, unable to think of about anything other than how full and good his fingers make you feel. You don’t even register that he’s moved your down your body and tugged your panties to the side until his tongue is meeting your clit, swirling around it in expertly practiced circles, making you desperately cry out his name.

Your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging harshly as your hips buck up to keep feeling the delicious sensation his tongue provides you. He flattens his tongue and lets you grind against it as you want, the motions of his fingers not stuttering or ceasing despite the movement of your hips. 

You feel the familiar heat pooling your stomach, another orgasm approaching quickly, the sounds you release turning into desperate whines and whimpers as you chase the feeling. It only takes a few more rolls of your hips and thrusts of his fingers to have you releasing all over his face and gushing around his fingers.

He sits up and pulls his fingers out when your body falls limp, chest heaving and ears ringing as you try to recover from the mind-blowing experience you just had. Your eyes are closed, and you can feel his weight shift, can hear the soft clink of his belt unbuckling, followed by the rustling of clothes.

You open your eyes to see Minho’s cock is now out, his hand lazily pumping it and spreading the pre-cum that accumulated and dripped over his time focusing on you. You reach a hand out to touch it, to replace his hand with your own, but he grabs your hand before you can, instead making you intertwine your fingers. 

“Tonight’s all about you, Princess. Don’t worry about taking care of me,” he says, kissing the back of your hand and then holding it down right above your head. You’re not quite pinned, easily able to snake your hand out of his hold if you wanted to, but you have to admit, you like the feeling of his hand keeping yours held down.

He rubs his cock between your folds before he lines himself up with your entrance, though you didn’t miss the subtle smirk on his face when you whined from the feeling of his tip rubbing against your clit. “Squeeze my hand if you need to,” Minho tells you before taking your free hand and bringing it up to his shoulder, “and hold onto me.”

Your heart squeezes in your chest; the hidden romantic in you yearns to tell him you love him, to thank him for taking such good care of you, to express how you never want this night to end, but you know that would be a mistake. Neither of you can afford to let your emotions spill out, so you swallow them down the best you can, deciding to just live in this moment, to experience it for all that it is and all that it means for you.

The initial push is slow, and thanks to his diligent preparation, there is little physical pain or discomfort you experience from the stretch of his cock. A slight sting, sure, but nothing you can’t easily handle, and it’s barely even recognizable when compared to the pleasant fullness you feel. So when you squeeze his hand, and your eyes well with tears, it’s not because you are pained; it’s because you finally have something you want, a happiness you thought would forever elude you.

He takes his free hand and wipes away the tears from your eyes, a soft look of concern on his face. “Hurts?” he asks, but you shake your head quickly.

“Feels good, I just– I..” you struggle with the words, knowing you can’t express how you actually feel about him even if you felt you could. “I know. You don’t have to say it, I know,” Minho speaks to you softly, and the kiss he gives you very nearly makes you sob.

There’s still a few inches left before he’s fully inside you, and he pushes the remainder in slowly as he continues to kiss you, his free hand now rubbing soothing circles on your hip with his thumb. Minho does well at maintaining composure, staying firmly in control of himself and his body despite the way your walls squeeze and suck him in, despite the way you whimper when you feel him throb, or cry out against his lips when his tip kisses your deepest spots.

“That’s a good girl, taking all I give you, doing so well,” he praises you some more, and you love when he tells you how good you’re doing if the way you clench around him is any indicator. “Fuck, Princess–” he groans when he finally starts to move, pulling out and pressing back in much more slowly than he normally would, but the wet friction you provide him is delicious.

“Minho, I–” you start, interrupted by a sharp gasp when he finds your sweet spot with his cock.He looks at you as he stills his hips, patiently waiting for you to continue in case what you have to say is important, or a request for him to stop.

You swallow, face heating up but determined to get out what you want to say. “J-Just this once, I don’t want to be the princess. Call me by name, please–” Oh, that’s what you want? He can do that, easily; he’s already groaned your name countless times in the privacy of his room, stroking his cock to the thought of you.

The sound of your name falling from his lips as he resumes the thrust of his hips has you clenching hard, stars erupting in your vision as he picks up his pace, beginning to quickly and mercilessly hit your spot, over and over again. He takes one of your legs and props it up over his shoulder, allowing more of his cock to fill you up, the creaking of the bed and the sound of skin slapping beginning to overpower the noise from downstairs.

Taking his other hand away from yours, you’ll have to forgive him, he licks his fingers and then brings them to your clit, wanting nothing more than to see and feel you release on his cock. It only takes a few more thrusts and circles from his fingers to have you crying out his name as you cum, fingers digging into the sheets beneath you as your body shakes and legs tremble.

But Minho hasn’t cum yet, so he’s not quite done with you– not that you mind in the slightest. You’ll let him chase his pleasure as long as he wishes, even if it leaves you a drooling, fucked out mess in the end.

He pulls out of you, just long enough to sit against the headboard, and then he’s pulling you on top of him, guiding you to sink back down on his cock and sit fully in his lap. The new position has you rolling your eyes to the back of your head, Minho guiding the movement of your hips with his hands as he thrusts up into you.

He’s quite literally doing all the work, but that’s perfectly fine; this night is supposed to be about you, after all, and he doesn’t want you to lift a pretty little finger. Just let him use you a little until he cums, that’s all he needs.

You’re panting against his neck, head laid on his shoulder and nails digging into the skin of his back beneath his shoulder blades. The sting of your nails in his skin is just how he imagined it to be, and his head is falling back against the headboard, low grunts and groans of your name leaving freely as his cock throbs and twitches, getting closer and closer to his release.

He uses one of his hands to grab your face and lift it up to his, crashing his lips to yours in a desperate, impassioned display of love and lust. A few more snaps of his hips and you feel his cum spurting inside you in long, thick ropes, the sensation sending you forward into yet another orgasm of your own, your desperate sounds muffled only by Minho’s mouth on yours.

Your body collapses against his when the moment slows to a stop, both of your chests heaving and breaths heavy as you lie against him. His arms wrap around you snuggly, and keep you upright against his chest. You can hear the quick, erratic beating of his heart as he catches his breath, looking up at him to see his eyes closed and sweat trailing down his brow towards his cheek.

He looks beautiful like this, you think; you hope he thought the same of you. Even as his cock starts to soften, neither of you move, and though your legs protest and beg to be stretched out, you refuse to leave your spot on Minho’s lap.

“Are you alright, Princess?” he asks once he’s collected himself, pushing your hair from your face and wiping the sweat from your brow.

“Mhm, just want to stay like this,” you reply, and Minho smiles softly, rubbing over your shoulders and down your back in a sweet gesture of comfort. You’re silent like this for some time, just simply enjoying the feeling of him, the sound of the crackling fire, the warmth he and this room provides you.

“Does my happiness really have to end here?” you can’t help but quietly ask, and Minho is quiet for a moment, carefully considering before he speaks.

In a different world, in a different time, in a different place, maybe the two of you are meant to be. There’s comfort in imagining yourself there, truly happy with Minho, letting him care for you while not snuffing out the flame that is your pride, ambition, and spirit.

It’s not meant to be, you both know that to be true. To be with each other required great risk, sacrifice, hardship. But again he has to wonder, is being safe worth the cost of happiness? Would you even truly be “alive” if your every moment was spent miserably?

He doesn’t want to see the very core of what makes you you be snuffed out by selfish, idiotic men and their expectations of what you should be. You’re much younger than him, and it would be impossible for him to be there for you for the rest of your life, but he can be for the rest of his, at least.

“Maybe not,” he answers, unsure of what the future holds for the two of you, but not entirely ready to give up so easily. He could accept his fate, accept that love is something out of his reach, but it’s your happiness on the line that makes him want to fight for it. 

There’s a lot he could lose by helping you escape this life you feel trapped in, but he’d rather see you happy than wasting your days away in the castle, subservient to a man you loathe. Your love isn’t meant to be, but that’s okay; he’ll help you all the same.

He’s loyal to you, and only you, he’s decided– so if you make your future husband, your father, or even the entire kingdom your enemy, then they’ll be his enemy too. And it’ll all be worth it just to see you smile for a little bit longer.

[momotorin]

you cling to your papers and pens (wait until you like me again)

sana x fem!reader — angst, fluff | cw: mention of cigs, weed

it's been a rough, gruesome six months. you've locked yourself away from everyone else, only focused on your work to keep your expenses in the living range, barely eating with the empty bottles of jack daniel’s and soju lying around the dinner table properly like it's your personal bar.

“holy shit,” your friend, nayeon laughs as she sees your wrecked state. “you look like shit,” she says as she walks in, removing her white leather shoes and tucks them away neatly at the step beside the doorway. “your house looks like shit,” she sighs, taking the bottles of alcohol away from your table to your kitchen top. “everything’s shit.”

“don't need to point out the obvious,” you sighed and followed, also cleaning your mess one by one. “i just want my life back, you know?”

she just laughs as she helps you wipe down the mess on your table, “no, you want sana back.”

“well,” you sighed deeply at the memory of what you once, well, whom you still love. “i don't know. she can't leave me like this when i didn't expect that this would happen.”

nayeon was one of the people whom you ranted and cried to the moment sana went m.i.a on you. honestly, you didn't even know the reason why she did. the days before that event of her leaving, you two were happy; you cooked breakfast together, you kissed every time you wanted to, you made love in every corner, you two talked about the most random shit in the world, you rode bikes beside the river, you went on dates, rarely fought, and solved everything by communicating— like in a deep, boundless honeymoon phase.

with sana, you thought that it was never-ending. unconditional. something you could never find everywhere, even if you tried to scurry the ends of the earth for a similar feeling.

but then, on one winter night, just a few days before her birthday, she disappeared like white smoke as cold as your breaths when you cried and screamed her name in the streets of seoul.

up until now, you call her number, text her number, go to the firm she works at (well, it's unavoidable, your workplace was across the street.), text her friends (which, were also your friends and had no clue that sana also left.) hoping for a little update from her, and why she left you.

after hours of cleaning, you finally found yourself satisfied with the step of making (at least) your house a little cleaner. now, everything's clear to you; how sana left you with an empty home— an empty dinner table, an empty bed, an empty sofa, an empty heart. you went into tears remembering almost everything like it all washed, crashed, and flashed in front of you.

she left you with ghosts that you didn't know how to manage, and you're the only one left to deal with it.

does it haunt her the way it does to you? you cursed that she’d be so haunted by it and come running back.

──⋆⋅🗽⋅⋆──

on the other side of the world, there's 8 empty bottles of wine on a kitchen top, a woman holding a glass as she wakes up from her ‘nap’ that lasted 8 hours on her couch.

new york. there was sana in the middle of a seemingly concrete jungle, the buildings looming into her as she walks, bigger than anything else she's seen before.

but, this was her escape. she didn't even know what she would escape from.

she confided in the wine glasses, pouring both cheap and expensive wine in one night, crying and lulling herself with your voice in her messages to sleep. it didn't help that it was cold, and your embrace was the only thing that she can ever confide in. it was awful too, how the memory of you talking about new york haunts her, how she imagines you in every street, in every store, in every corner of it and how much you'd enjoy it both.

she doesn't know why she needs time if she chooses to hurt. she's so afraid of the fact that she'll break you, that she can never give what you want.

she found a small, blue velvet box in your cabinet as she wanted to steal one of your hoodies (which happens more often than not) which sent chills to her spine. you wanted to marry her.

at first, she didn't really mind as maybe you'll give it another time, or maybe it's a different ring. but you've been hinting about it ever so slightly since, and that just kept her away. she didn't even know why she was so afraid of telling you just that.

but sana's smart enough to catch on, hearing you on a call with your friend at 3am, talking about the ring, and how you'd give it to her on her birthday, basically like a double thing where you'd propose and surprise her.

on the 28th, she decided, taking one of your hoodies with her as her pairs of shoes, clothes, things, and she herself, leaves your shared home.

she sighs, putting the wineglass to a safer place, her coffee table. it doesn't help that the layout of her flat was so similar to your shared home, and she sometimes just wakes up with tears in her eyes, knowing that she had dreamt about you.

she doesn't know. what she knows is that your hurting at the same time she was hurting.

──⋆⋅🗽⋅⋆──

“we're going to relocate you to new york for this project,” your boss says as he slides you a thick pile of manila folders, supposedly from the new client. “they liked your portfolio.”

“okay,” you leaned back at the cushioned chair. “what are the conditions?”

“what they've said is that you’ll be on the project for the whole duration,” your boss sighs against his own chair. “and then they’ll put you on their team of other architects in new york. they have a similar style than yours, but they'd make you the head.”

“when will i meet them?” i asked. “i mean, before i fly, there's an initial meeting, right?”

“it’s gonna be on friday,” your boss says. “read the profiles on those so that you could get a rough draft of what they want from you.”

“and surprisingly, they wanted me,” you laughed over the phone at just how ridiculous it was. you haven't had any big projects since six months ago, which was your break-up. you refused to accept, but then, this one's different. “plus, it's a two year contract. they want me there until the building stands upright.”

your friend, momo, laughs in absolute delight. “great. you'd meet me often then,” she joked, but then, you don't see why not. “and, i assure you that i've got the stuff, you know? girls, booze, and even the devil's grass— i have them.”

“god, can you calm down for a second, i'm not even there yet,” you joked back. “wait, isn't weed illegal in new york?”

“yeah, it is,” momo chuckles. “well, you've got to get your ass to other states too to live a little. that's why it's called the united states of america, not united state of new york.”

“i can't believe you can't even stay still,” you sighed over the phone. it was a classic, momo was an adventurer all on her own, so you couldn't blame her. “anyways, meet me at the airport, okay?”

“yes, sure,” she sighs over the phone too. you could just feel the eye roll from thousands of miles away. “you better get me what i've said to you.”

“of course,” you affirmed. it was a list of her favourite snacks and some other asian kitchen staples, since she does cook often. “half of my luggage is like your stuff. don't even complain if the jjapaggeti noodles are broken.”

“yeah, whatever,” momo chuckles over the phone. “just bring yourself here in one piece. you already have a place?”

“yup,” you breathe, remembering how much you were looking forward to that house. it was supposed to be your home after you've proposed to sana. “i, um, kept it for a while.”

“alright,” momo replied. “i gotta go.”

you then smiled, “okay, see you.”

──⋆⋅🗽⋅⋆──

momo fetches you from the airport with a silly little sign that read: “WELCOME TO NEW YORK Y/N!” then, she happily shows you around the new york city like a tourist before going home.

“is this it?” momo asks, looking up through her window to see if she was in the right apartment complex.

you nodded and said, “yes, this is it.” you smiled as you got off the car, helping momo unload the luggage. you took out a big bag and a small plastic bag out of your luggage, and gave it to momo who was already smiling with joy. “snacks.”

“you're my bestest friend ever.” she says, quite sarcastically as she loads the stuff back to the backseats of her sedan. “you really sure that you can't spend the night out?”

“i need to deal with the jetlag first,” you explained as you closed your luggage. “plus, i have a meeting tomorrow. i need to deal with that first.”

“okay,” momo smiles and hugs you. “just give me a call whenever you need someone, okay?”

“yes, yes,” you smiled and hugged her back. “you go home now.”

“yup,” she says, going back to the driver's seat. “good night, y/n!”

you smiled and waved at her until she disappeared from the street, as now you're left with your heavy luggage and your stuffed backpack. you get your keycard from your wallet and slowly went up the stairs, having a breath of relief seeing the entrance to go up the complex.

it had an elevator, luckily, it was working, and you pushed the button to the 4th floor. your door was to the left, a huge studio unit facing the street. although it isn't that busy, you really liked it as there were trees, and it was downtown.

god, you wished that sana could live in this beauty with you. the apartment, by your design, had taken inspiration from the 60s, mid century modern at it's very best. you turn on the lights to see the furniture still covered with what you left it.

you quickly remove it to take a seat on the sofa. you couldn't believe just how much it feels this big. it was like someone was meant to be beside you, but now you're left all by yourself.

the big windows show just what's outside. another complex, another window, weirdly, your neighbor's windows were open. you didn't have your glasses on, so you didn't really mind, but there was a woman who held a glass of wine, her hair tied into a bun as she read a book. it was a quiet life, and you were sure of it.

you take out something from your backpack, a little journal for your sketches. you draw the lines of your window, and draw the woman just across you. you don't know her, but you smile at the sight of her just turning pages and drinking her wine. you finished your sketch, smiling, and you passed out on the same sofa.

──⋆⋅🗽⋅⋆──

sana, after a while of drinking wine and reading, takes a look across the road. it's the first time she sees the lights open from the neighbor's window, and she sees just how big the windows were compared to hers. must've been great to live there as she sees the furniture. it looks like a damn museum in soho.

she doesn't miss the sight of a person, still wrapped up in their most uncomfortable clothes, a brown, long trench coat, dress pants, and a dress shirt; passed out on the sofa. that's how she remembers you sleeping when you've had a bad, excruciating day from your work, and she chuckles at it. she must've been so drunk to think that it was you, so she gets her eyeglasses.

“fuck.” she cursed. she rubs her eyes in disbelief, maybe she's going crazy that now you haunt her. “fuck, this can't be.” she slaps herself, trying to make sense of it all as she hurriedly closes her windows shut.

she knows you've had a couple of apartment complexes in new york way before she ghosted you. she knows that you own several here— one in the upper west, one in soho, and this one, all of it being rented. she was going crazy and filled her wineglass again, trying to relieve her veins.

she couldn't sleep that night without trying to look at the other side. seeing you sleep like that, so uncomfortable and busy. her heart aches as she still knows just how much your forehead creases like that, at just how much she knows your heart sleeps heavy too. she wants to hold you like she always does, and wants you to let it all out on her.

sana cries herself to sleep that night.

──⋆⋅🗽⋅⋆──

you wake up to the bright sunlight seeping into the corners of your home. you even forgot to take out the lights before you slept so uncomfortably on the sofa. you looked at your watch, seeing that it was already 9 AM, just an hour before your meeting, so you hurriedly stood up, cursing as you pulled down the blinds of the window to have some privacy before you left. you didn't miss how the woman across you had shut her windows down even if she was letting it all open at night. weird.

you then chuckled at the thought and got rid of your other clothes to take a bath and hurriedly made yourself presentable for the meeting.

you just thanked god for the subway system, and how fast you can run. you arrived at the meeting room 10 AM, on the dot, and you immediately took out your laptop to present.

it went well, and now you're reassigned into a team on the 14th floor, working on the same project as you. it's a two year contract with them, so you made a promise to yourself that you'll not slack off about it. well, it's just that you can't. it's a big project and you need to design both interior and exterior.

the same night, since it was a weekend, you decided to get a couple of drinks from the deli just right at the corner of your street. you were already dressed comfortably, and you're now looking at the selection of alcohol in the back of the deli. you can't deny that you've been drinking more now than ever, even when you were partying. you sigh as you get two bottles of smirnoff mule, a staple since you've been spending time here and not finding cheaper-than-water soju.

you went to the cashier and saw a woman getting in, hair falling down to her shoulders, wearing a comfortable pair of slides, with a pair of black rimmed round glasses and one of your favorite hoodies. wait. what?

you look at her again, her back facing you. that mclaren formula one hoodie. it was plain in the front, just having the team’s logo, and it had a huge print of the car at the back. it was a gift from her since she knows just how much you like formula one.

“that'll be $5.28.” the cashier reminds you. “anything else?”

“a pack of marlboro reds too, please.” you smiled, and you heard the woman, whom you think was sana, clear her throat. she knows you've been trying to come clean, and since the four years you've been together, you haven't touched any type of cigarette. she can't bear the feeling that pangs in her chest, knowing that you'll relapse because of her.

“that'll be $22.28.” the cashier says. damn, that expensive? you thought in your head. it was just a fake buy, yeah, you'd put it, but you'll leave it rotting. you become sick at the smell of tobacco in your system.

“have a great night!” you greet as you went outside the deli, waiting for the woman to come out. you don't plan to confront her, but you do plan to get something out of her. you don't care if she'll nag at you, or hit you, or ignore you. you just want her to know you're here and you've found her.

you put a stick of cigarette between your lips, and you pull out your lighter (you keep it as a fidget toy, and you recently put some fluid on it.) you spark it as you saw, at the corner of your eye, sana leaving the deli to go to your street too.

you took a sickly puff out as she passes by, and she coughs loudly.

“what? have a problem with it?” you confronted her. “it’s not like it's your first time seeing me like this, minatozaki.”

you quickly disposed of the cigarette. you hated it already, and it was no use. she stopped in her tracks, hearing her last name come out of your mouth.

“just stop running away.” you chuckled to yourself. “you already know i can never get mad at you.”

“i live at number 14, 4th floor, number 229, the door's always open.” you shouted as she continues walking. you didn't care if you just exposed your room number, or your literal address to everyone. not that they’d care. what's important is that sana does. “i want my hoodie back!”

“well fuck you!” she shouts back, and from that, you can see her tears run from her face. “it's mine now!”

she runs to her apartment, and you observed, it was the one just across yours. you waited until you knew which floor she was on. you knew it the moment the second unit of the third floor opened their lights, and it was the one directly in your direction. you laugh at the realization that she was the woman whom you were drawing the first night you were here.

“god, i can't believe she's still this stubborn.” you say to yourself as you keep smiling your way to your apartment. thank god you have a hundred papers for creating your blueprints, and you lay one out on your drawing table to write ‘give me my hoodie back!’ in big letters, enough for sana to see the next morning when she opens her windows.

days passed. you haven't been opening your window since she still isn't giving you back your hoodie.

──⋆⋅🗽⋅⋆──

“damn, it's dark in here,” momo laughs as she puts down her chinese takeout, seeing your apartment this dim in the afternoon. the only one with a light was your work table, which had most of your blueprints. “i know you hate overhead lighting but don't fuck your eyes up more.”

“yes, i know,” you sigh as you open the lights. “i'm just trying to cut down on the costs.”

“you own the damn building,” momo scoffed as she opened her box. “plus, you have more money than you think.”

“please don't get me to try weed again.” you joked as you also took a box, opening it to smell the most scrumptious chow fan you've ever smelled. “this is enough.”

“yeah, it's great, probably the greatest one around here,” momo smiles as she takes another bite of her food. “sana lives just right across from you then?”

you just nodded as you went to get some water from your fridge. “she just said fuck you.”

“i mean, she would,” momo joked. “but like, that's kinda asshole-y of her to just ignore you.”

“she ghosted me, of course she would ignore me,” you laughed. “no one gets friendly with people they've ghosted.”

“why didn't you like, pull her to you?” momo asked. “you know. like ones in dramas?”

“nothing would ever come out of it either.” you sighed. “plus, i didn't have the guts too. maybe i was so upset that i really just wanted my hoodie back. don't even try to sound me out. i know that you'll say you kissed mina the moment you reconcile. but she didn't ghost you!”

“okay, yes, that's right, but still.” momo holds you by the shoulders to calm you down. “get your girl back.”

“i can't,” you laughed. “i'm so busy that i didn't even remember that i got dumped. honestly, at how busy i am, i might even forget that she lives just right across from me. i haven't called her number, i haven't texted her for days. the last text i sent her was i told her that my detergent was still the same.”

“why the hell would she want to know that?” momo laughs.

“dunno,” you pouted. “she has my hoodie, might as well make it smell like me.”

──⋆⋅🗽⋅⋆──

“i fucking hate that she hasn't even changed one bit,” sana sobs as she confides in her friend's side. “it’s so annoying.”

sana remembers the way you screamed. the way you faked buying cigarettes and taking one stick that you immediately threw as she turned her back against you. the way you called her last name. the way your voice cracked in pain. the way you drew your note with a silly character. it annoys her that you keep on staying on her mind. she was supposed to forget you.

“i'm,” she sobs more, nursing a bottle of some alcohol she got offered with. “so annoyed that i still want her.”

“then get her back,” mina laughs as she hugs sana. “honestly, she'd understand it. like she always would.”

“i don't wanna hurt her anymore,” sana sobs as she takes another sip. “i never deserved her.”

“she pursued you back then,” mina remembered, rubbing her hand across sana's arm to calm her down. “what makes you think that you don't deserve her when she literally wanted you?”

“i just can't.”

“do you still want her?” mina asked.

“yes,” sana chuckles through her tears. “a little too much.”

“then pursue her,” mina whispered. “try to win her back.”

──⋆⋅🗽⋅⋆──

sana kept that in mind. that night, she wanted to go home by herself, and mina let her do so, even if she was too concerned. sana got too annoying and mina just dropped her off by the subway instead.

sana stops by the corner deli to try and see you.

you were at the deli to grab a little snack, and you opened the door to go outside but you almost hit someone, “shit, look where you're going!” your stuff fell to the ground and you heard the person chuckle.

“sorry,” you looked up at the person. “i shouldn't have.”

you realized it was sana. she wasn't standing upright, her outfit looked like it was chilly, and her eyes were almost closing. “sana,” you held her by the waist, trying to get her upright. you pull her close to you as she pulls you by the waist too, her head leaning to your neck. “goddamnit.”

“don't say that,” sana laughs against your skin. “but i get it though.” she slurred her speech. it was probably the copious amount of alcohol she consumed.

“i swear if you ever vomit on me i won’t meet you again.” you've seen it all. she vomited on you the first night you went out and she was too drunk. “i'm serious.”

“i know,” she whined as she hugged you again. “just take me home. i don't do that anymore, baby.”

“stop,” you tried to unclasp her from you, but her hold on you was tight. “i can't walk properly.”

“you do,” she looks down and sees that your steps were completely fine. how the hell is she still this conscious? “please.”

“we're gonna trip.” you chuckled. “get off of me first.”

she did get off of you, but she continued pouting, and you see her tears pooling around her lower eyelids.

“okay,” you took off your jacket and let her wear it, then you carried her with your arms, which took her by surprise and she immediately wrapped her arms around your neck. “don’t think that i'm still head over heels for you,” you warned. “i'm doing this because your feet are fucking swollen.” you were right. she was wearing those heels with such a steep form, and it was inches away from the ground too. you're surprised that she haven't even removed it yet.

she just nods, and her tears fall down. she can't believe that you're not mad. that you're not fuming. that you haven't even refused her yet. you don't hate her.

you take her to her apartment, lay her down on the couch, and you search for a glass to pour some water in. “here,” you handed it to her. “sober up.”

“thanks.” she smiles and wipes her tears.

“don't even,” you said. it hurts her to hear that you're almost monotonous. “where's my hoodie?”

“i’ll return it to you,” sana says as she rests her head on the couch, surrendering her whole drunk body in it. “it's in the wash basket. don't even bother to find it. i promise.”

it was an excuse for you to get her a blanket, which you got from her bed. you saw that her eyes were already closed, and you're even more surprised that she's actually already sleeping. you laid the blanket on her legs, and she pulled it up to consume her whole body with it.

you don't know why, but you watched her sleep. you watched if her eyes also tear up, or if she mumbles your name. you heard it and sana full on sobs, you saw at just how much her hand tightens around the edge of the blanket, how her breath heaved as she mumbled your name.

you don't understand. why does she seem more hurt than you? you're the one she left, and not the other way around. did that drunk curse work that well for her to miss you this much?

you find yourself crying. you just can't bear it so you left, but you didn't miss to tuck her hair behind her ear, and you didn't miss to wipe her tears by the tip of your thumb. you just couldn't bear seeing her this hurt.

──⋆⋅🗽⋅⋆──

sana grunts as she sits up from the couch, feeling her head throbbing against her skull. she was warm, having the jacket on and a blanket. she saw that she had water and hangover pills just on the table where her night lamp was placed. well, fuck.

she looks at her phone hurriedly, wanting to see if she got a new message or a new call from you. she opened her windows and saw a new note saying: drink your meds!

she forgot for a moment that you were there with her last night, that's why she has your black puffer jacket, and that there's a note on the table too. it was your number, and you wrote: “whenever you're ready.”

she just couldn't believe how calm you were. she just can't bring herself to admit that you don't hate her.

her eyes run a tear once more. she doesn't even know why she's this hurt. she chose to leave, didn't she?

──⋆⋅🗽⋅⋆──

sana conquered the fear of texting you first. but after telling that the number she texted with is her active number, you just left her on read.

her day passes by like that, looking at her phone every once in 30 minutes, staring at her phone the whole lunch break, and her heart races everytime she gets a notification, hoping that it was from you.

honestly, she doesn't know what she'd say to you. maybe you were busy, or maybe you just chose to ignore her to pay back what she did. (which, honestly, isn't that bad.)

she pouts, staring at the text. still on read.

sana: are you free this weekend?

she asks. in over a record time, you read it and you reply.

y/n: yeah, why?

sana: i was wishing if we could talk over dinner and hopefully i could give your jacket and hoodie back.

y/n: don't bother to return the hoodie.

sana: why?

y/n: i changed my mind. plus, you technically bought it and you just handed it to me as a gift, right?

sana: yes, but what about your jacket?

y/n: i have three of those. that one's already wearing off and it has holes anyways.

you were honest. you do have three of it in similar styles, sana knows of it, doesn't know why, and you don't even know why.

sana: but what about dinner?

y/n: i can cook 🙂

sana pouts, but she knows you're playing with her to get something out.

sana: please. let me treat you out.

y/n: you don't need to. why?

sana: yes, i don't need to, but i want to.

y/n: then?

sana: i’d talk with you.

y/n: aren't we technically talking now?

sana: look, i just want to spend time with you.

y/n: minatozaki, this is leading to nothing.

sana: please let me treat you out to dinner.

y/n: we're going in circles. why?

sana: i need you to hear me out.

y/n: okay.

sana: 6pm. pontios.

y/n: okay. anything else you need to say?

sana: your jacket doesn't have holes.

y/n: just keep it.

sana smiles. it was such a you thing to do, letting her get away with your jackets in her closet. it's the best thing that keeps her warm, wrapped around the similar woody vanilla scent of your perfume.

──⋆⋅🗽⋅⋆──

the weekend comes quickly, and you were so exhausted to finish checking and doing what seems like thousands of blueprints in a span of a day. you need to clear your schedule for saturday and sunday to finally get some rest. of course, to also finally meet sana.

it's the time where you'd actually find why she left. why she made you cry. why she moved to new york.

you sighed as you put on your best outfit, and went out just before 6pm. you went to the restaurant to see her already waiting for you in a table closed off from the windows, in a more intimate area of it. you looked around and saw the interior, and you guessed that it's sana's favourite. it had the same mid-century feel to it, but it was more of a diner, and it was very bright with the presence of fluorescent light bulbs.

“did you wait long?” you asked as you looked at your watch as you sat down on the sofa right in front of her.

“not at all,” she flashes you a tight lipped smile. “i arrived a couple of minutes ago.”

“good,” you said as the waiter makes their way to your table. “should we order now?”

“yeah, go on,” she says, handing you a menu. “pick anything you like.”

you just hummed and you flipped the menu to every page. apparently, it was an all day breakfast restaurant. most of the meals only consist of either coffee, pancakes, sausages, fried chicken, bacon, and eggs.

“i’d get the chicken platter, please,” you dictated. “plus a can of coke.”

“i’d get the same.” sana closes her menu as well and hands it over to the waiter with a smile.

“so,” you sighed as you adjusted yourself, leaning back on the cushions of your seat. “what am i even here for, minatozaki?”

“do you really want me to make it quick?” she sighs.

“i thought you were ready?” you scoffed.

“i know what to say, yes,” she said. her eyebrows were already meeting in the middle of her forehead slightly. “where do you want me to start?”

“where do you want to start?” you chuckled.

sana knew you were toying with her with your little repetitive questions. “since you wanna play that way,” sana sighs. “i left because i knew you were gonna propose to me.”

your jaw immediately drops to the floor the moment you heard her, but you tried to pull it back before flies could come in.

sana smiles at your reaction. “i didn't want to reject you, so i chose to leave instead. i thought there was nothing else i could do. it was either to reject you and break your heart like that; or break your heart by leaving and ghosting you.”

“okay,” you breathed and collected your thoughts. “why didn't you tell me that?”

“i'm not a party pooper, y/n,” she joked as the food arrived at your table already. “i didn't want to ruin your surprise either.”

“so you surprised me instead,” you joked, eating a slice from your pancakes. “nice one there, minatozaki.”

she sighs under her breath. it was hard for her to process just how much she hates being called by her last name from you. it used to be so sweet. now it's just plain, boring, and hurtful— like a dull knife piercing right through her stupid little heart.

“what i was trying to say,” you said as you gulped on the cola. “is that why didn't you tell me the day before? there was plenty of time for me to blow up my surprise.”

“yes, but it's your surprise,” she sighs as she takes a bite from her chicken. “it’s foolish if i find it out first when i am the one who'll take the surprise, right?”

you smiled at her, “yes, but what made you think that i’ll look at you and love you differently if you say no?”

“because you were so sure of it.” she says, looking at you right in the eyes. “you don't want your expectations to be broken, and that's the first thing i knew about you when we met. i just couldn't let it happen.”

“i just couldn't let myself see you cry because of me.” she sighs, interlocking her hands together as a relief. you see the tears pool around her eyes as she looks down on her untouched pair of fried chicken and waffles.

“okay.” you just took a bite out of your food once more, ignoring the overwhelming feeling in your chest. “is that all of it?”

she just nodded as she sniffled.

“eat up,” you smiled, quite foolishly and teasingly. “you said you wanted to take me out to dinner, right? it ain't fair if i'm the only one actually having dinner.”

sana chuckles to herself. this was how you usually are, trying to ignore the feelings that come from everything.

“but you made me cry still,” you laughed to yourself as you spoke. “you made me drink, you made me lonely, you made me coop myself up at home when i should be celebrating my birthday, made me think so much where did i go wrong when i remembered that i kissed you to sleep. you made me question everything i did from the start, sana. and at some point, you even made me doubt you.”

you're quite surprised that you're not shedding a single tear. maybe it was the relief of getting the point across to the person that you really want to talk with, and getting the answers you wanted for such a long time.

sana realized that you're awfully kind. it hurts for her to hear that there are nights you spent drinking on your own, thinking about what you could have done to get her back.

you hand her your handkerchief, but you can't bring yourself to dry her tears just yet.

she gladly takes it, and she smiles, finally calming down from the heavy feeling. it soothes her that you never lost yourself, even if she left you clueless.

“i'm sorry, y/n.” sana sighed deeply as she wiped her tears down with the soft cotton of your hanky.

you then chuckled again, “what for? are you leaving me again?”

“no,” sana pouts. “i'm just sorry for everything that hap-”

“it's all in the past,” you smiled again. sana missed seeing that, but she felt that something was lacking. “and your food is getting cold.”

“oh, right,” sana then picks up her cutlery and gets into action. she must've been hungry too. “why are you in new york, though?”

“do you want a stupid answer or a good answer?”

“both.”

“i'm tired of finding girls in seoul,” you joked. “and my, supposed to be, our apartment was rotting so i had to stay. plus, i got a two year contract for building a 35-storey office in manhattan. although it's technically a refurbishment project, since it has so many floors it'll probably take some time.”

“oh, that's why…” she then ate away what she was about to say. she knows you were joking from your first statement, but she can't help but think about it.

“i was too busy finishing my job before i can even party, don't worry about that,” you said. “anyways, why new york though?”

“no one knows me here,” sana says as she chews on her syrup drizzled waffles. “although, i did meet an old friend, no one knows me here.”

“hm, okay,” you just nodded. “and the old friend?”

“mina.” she smiles.

“wait, sorry? mina?”

“yeah!” she says, quite amused at the situation. “i think i told you before that i had a friend that went to the states and grew up here too.”

“hm, yeah you did,” you muffled as you were still eating. “do you know her girlfriend? momo?”

“yeah,” sana nodded. “wait. you know momo?”

you just nodded. “she's a friend from college who moved here immediately after getting a good hire from a famous firm.”

“oh, so you know momo.” she laughed to herself. she just can't believe how small the world is, and she ends up always having to meet you. it just seems to her that you'll always find her.

“do you have like,” you looked at her again as you took a sip from the cola. “a job?”

“oh, yeah,” she smiles. “i work at a company and it's just in soho,” she explains. “what about you?”

“i'm in midtown manhattan,” you said. “it's quite terrifying to get lost in the subways, though.”

“you still work late?”

you just nodded, “of course. i can't avoid it.”

“hm,” sana thinks. you work late. you rarely open the windows. you work at the most exhausting part of new york. she clears her throat. “um, do you have a, like…” she hesitates. it's quite the dumb question to ask if you ghosted someone. “girlfriend or a fling?”

“honestly?” you asked in a sharp tone that gets to her ears so well it makes her heart go faster. “i would love to.” you teased. “but, i'm too busy with work, still very stuck up with this one person and that one person happens to be just in front of me.”

sana just watched you eat away the final bites from your food as you smiled to yourself. she just can't figure it out. you were straightforward back then, and it's the same case up until now.

“what if i'm not here?”

“i'm still going to be very busy though,” you said. “so my thoughts really can't escape beyond what i do for work, and you.”

sana, unbelievably so, blushed. “oh.”

“it's kinda scary and amusing, actually,” you said, reflecting on the past few days, weeks, and months. “it's like i'm just thinking of you. when i'm not thinking about how i’d do my work and evaluate my team’s work, i think about if you already had lunch, or if you got late at work, or if you had your morning coffee— you know, trivial stuff like that which i usually ask you.”

“really?” she then beams, the situation making her overly happy. “i, um,” she calms herself down and breathes deep before saying, “think of that too. if you're pissed off because you don't have the right pencil to draw with, or if you got your favorite coffee, what did you eat for breakfast, what do you wanna eat for lunch… stuff like that fills my mind all the time.”

you just nodded. you don't know what to feel about it. you don't even know what to feel about anything that's happening right now. it seems like you really needed her in front of you to explain what she did, but a part of you thinks that this isn't enough. a part of you was still doubtful of it, but a part of you wants to just engulf her in your hug, knowing just how much she hid from you.

she had every right to be scared. you just don't know how she had the heart to leave.

“when i left,” sana sits back on the couch again, sighing deeply. “i don't want you to pity me or anything, honestly i want you to be super angry at me,” she joked. “i hesitated. i didn't like imagining how you'd lose yourself, get drunk, find another girl,” she emits a weary breath. “but then, i flew here and lived by myself as i promised, ignored your calls, your texts— just to find myself still listening to your voice at night, looking at the photos of us to relive those moments that i had with you. i was so stupid.”

“you are,” you said. “but i can't be mad at you.”

“why?”

“i just can't deny the fact that i have a lot of love in my heart for you that it consumes any other feeling that i have in me,” you explained. “i’m fine with it now since you admitted to yourself. i'm sorry too if i got too ahead, sana.”

“you don't need to be.” she smiles. “you were just expecting the obvious.”

“why did you get scared of it, though?”

“i know that you'll treat me right, but there are so many doubts that i had,” she pondered. “but it's mostly on my part. i didn't like seeing myself not being able to commit to you. i hated that at some point, i’ll be the one to leave, so i left before anything worse can happen.”

“okay,” you sighed. “what do you wanna do now?”

sana softly laughs, “ah, well,” she looks down on her food again. “i honestly want to win you back.”

“i'm not a trophy, sana,” you joked. “but then, if that's what you want,” you looked at her, that feeling of spark rising within you as she let her honey brown eyes meet yours. “i’d let you do it. it's not going to be easy though.”

“i know,” sana murmured. “and i'm gonna try my very best.”

you laughed, seeing the determination that rises in her— cheeks flushed, eyes sparkly, just like how you remembered her. “good luck.”

──⋆⋅🗽⋅⋆──

that night was the first time you slept well without alcohol, and sana, as you saw from across the window, slept on the couch comfortably as she watched her favorite tv show. (you bet that she finished the series already, and that she's only rewatching it.)

──⋆⋅🗽⋅⋆──

the morning comes and someone comes knocking at your door, calling your full government name like you're getting arrested for tax fraud.

“yeah, wait,” you rub your eyes, trying to get all the morning dust out of the way. you opened to see sana, smiling like she was the sun. “oh, hi.”

“hello,” she sing-songed. “i just wanted to drop by,” she handed you over a bag. you wondered, one of your eyebrows lifting as you held it. “breakfast. your favorite,” she chuckled as she pats down the stray hair from your sleep. “eat well.”

“nice,” you chuckled, prying the bag open. “have you eaten already?”

“uh, yeah,” she said, nervously palming the back of her neck. “i'm about to go now, actually.”

“are you sure? this is a lot,” you smiled, seeing the big container of your favorite breakfast. “you know i don't eat that much.”

“you know what,” sana laughs. “just tell me if you wanna eat with me.”

“i have extra plates, come on,” you respond, letting her in your apartment. she was resisting at first, stepping away from the door, but then, you showed her the best puppy eyes that she'll always fall for, and she's trapped when you said, “please.”

“okay,” she smiles and comes inside your apartment, leaving her shoes by the step before going in. “looks warm here.”

“hm,” you nodded, taking out the big container out of the bag. “you really cooked, huh.” you saw that it really was your favourite breakfast, one with fried rice, eggs, and spam. it was a simple meal you always shared with her in your apartment before you went to work.

you move to pull out a chair for her, and you get the cutlery from your kitchen. “do you want coffee?”

“yeah, that'll be nice,” she smiles. she doesn't know how weird it feels how you easily go into the routine that you had when you two were still together. it was always like this, your back facing her as you were busy in the kitchen, making sure that her breakfast is great, and that she'll start her day as great as possible. “can i have it i-”

“iced, three pumps of cream, and vanilla.” you recite as you run your espresso machine. “i still don't know how you like your coffee so sweet.”

“well, thanks for remembering that,” sana laughs, glad to know that you still question the amount of sugar to coffee ratio on her drink. “how about you? still a shot of espresso, a pump of creamer, and iced?”

you nodded, funnily so. you didn't expect that you've spent that much time with sana that she knows you, down to your littlest, mundane, and absurd routines.

you smiled at her as you made way to the table, sitting across her like you usually do. for a while, you forget that sana ghosted you for months.

──⋆⋅🗽⋅⋆──

to say that you were sana's love of her life was an understatement. seeing you again, like this, eating your favorite breakfast after not reaching out to you for months makes her throat and eyes burn. it's ridiculous of her to let you live alone, to let you be deprived of her love.

it continues, you two fall back into a simple routine.

sana spends the mornings with breakfast she makes at the crack of dawn and you two share, you fix yourself as sana waits, and you get unexpectedly early at your office.

during the afternoons, you have coffee that she bought in hand, something she's been weirdly doing every now and then, even dropping by to your office. during the night, she fetches you, saying that: “it's gonna be a waste of energy if you go home by the subway, we're literally living across each other.”

occasionally, and during the weekends, sana, if time permits, takes you to restaurants, bars, or parks to ease your mind. new york was huge, and you're surprised she knows it down to a t, and to it's hidden spots.

──⋆⋅🗽⋅⋆──

she knows that the schedule of yours was very hectic. she dreads that more as you spend less time with her, since recently as you held the ground-breaking for the site.

“it was a mini project that they didn't tell me about,” you munched on the churros she bought you before you sat down on one of the steps facing the vast, winding hudson river. “and you know, it made me much busier than i am.”

“you need a raise,” sana laughs. “and 20 leaves.”

“they're giving me a raise,” you laugh as well, finally easing up. “so yeah, but i still became more busy.”

sana sighs as she stares off at the sight. the skyline of new york fades away as the sun starts to set, and the lights of the buildings slowly turn on.

it was a moment. it reminded you that you needed time, whether productive or not.

you just needed time.

“sana,” you then looked at her. “what do you think about coming back together?”

“what do you mean?” sana nervously laughs. she didn't expect for you to say it sooner. it's only been two months since you started reconciling.

“us,” your eyes stared at her honey brown ones like they're the only things you've ever known. “look, i just-”

“i realized that i can’t go a day without you,” you sighed in relief as you then held both of her hands, saying your truth. “i figured that i was thinking too ahead, and i didn't give you time and i ruined that for us. i'm sorry-”

sana then pulls you into a warm, loving hug, “you don't need to be. i'm the one who left, right?”

“yeah, bu-”

“i'm the one who left,” she repeats, trying to sink those words into your head. “and i think i'm not trying my best getting you back just yet.”

“but you are,” you whispered. “i just want you to call me yours again, please.”

“god,” sana lowly chuckled as she ran a hand behind your back, comforting you. “you don't know how much i've been waiting for this, my love.”

you sinked your head into her neck, trying to suppress your feelings as you heard that one phrase you've wanted to hear from her for months. “i love you.”

“i love you too,” sana then kisses your forehead gently as you close your eyes, savoring this little moment in time with her. “i hope i could prove that every day.”

“you don't need to,” you held her hand again and kissed it. “just stay by my side. it'll be enough.”

sana held your cheek with her hand, soft against the surface of it, as she brushed her thumb below your eyelid, something she always does like a little habit. “okay,” she comes closer to meet her forehead with yours, and locks your lips as you two share a longing, electrifying kiss. she smiles, lips inward as you pull away. “i waited for that, too.”

“well, that's just fair.” you then held her hand as she wrapped her arm on your shoulders, letting you lean onto her. you two stared off at the view, just admiring the warmth of the sunset before it gets cold during the night.

“and i’ll always wait,” sana whispered. “i won't get tired.”

you then smiled, now holding the hand that was on your shoulder as you stared off the river in a comforting silence. “as long as you're with me,” you then looked at her. “i won't mind taking time and waiting.”

[lanadelnegan]

Tattoo

Pre-apocalypse!Negan x Reader (Negan is y/n's art teacher & also owns a tattoo shop).

Warnings: THIS IS THE FILTHIEST THING I'VE WRITTEN SO FAR and it's just going to get filthier from here on. smut, forbidden love, age-gap (reader is 18, negan is 38), angst, oral (female receiving), lots of sexual tension, slow burnnnn.(there's an actual plot this time), vaginal sex, public sex, breeding, slight daddy kink

Summary: After graduating and leaving behind the man she fell for but couldn't have, y/n decides to get a tattoo that reminds her of him. And he gives it to her.

A/n: ugh, this had me in my feels. A "hard to get" teacher Negan. basically you're negan's former student and he gives you a tattoo and things.. well - just read it.

"Well damn. I don't mean to be sentimental, but I have seriously enjoyed teaching you little shits. I hope you can take what you've learned and apply it to something. Be creative. Oh, and.. don't think about hitting me up on Instagram after this because I don't do social media. That shit is toxic. Remember that, kids."

The bell cuts Negan off before he can finish his inspirational speech. He's always had such a way with words.. should have been an English teacher instead.

Most of the students rush out like the room is on fire, with the exception of a few annoying girls that think he'll jump their bones now that school is out.

"So, Mr. Smith, since you don't have social media, can I get your number at least?" I cringe as she twirls her hair around her finger and her friends giggle obnoxiously behind her.

"Girls. Behave for once. A tip for college? Don't flirt with your professors." He warns while motioning them out the door.

I suddenly realize that my ass has been glued to my seat this entire time and I'm the only one still here. I quickly get up and throw my backpack over one shoulder. He stares at me from the doorway but I just look down as I walk towards him.

"Bye Mr. Smith."

"Nice try. Sit down." He shuts his door and walks back into the room pointing towards my chair for me to sit.

"Mr. Smith, y/n?" He mocks. "Seriously?"

I never call him that. He's always been Negan to me.

I've known him for 4 years now. He's the only art teacher at Alexandria High, and even though I have no interest in art, I've taken his class every year because I do have an interest.. in him.

What he doesn't know is that I've been making mental notes everyday for the past four years about all his interests, personal life, hobbies, you name it.

He loves the color red - because it's the only color expo marker he writes in.

His favorite lunch is two cigarettes and coke zero. I hate that he smokes.

He stopped coaching baseball last year because he said he didn't have time anymore. But I think it's actually because he's never cared for it to begin with.

He had a wife, but she passed away. Some kind of cancer. She's still his computer wallpaper, which tells me he still hasn't moved on even though it was six years ago. My heart hurts for him.

He wasn't lying - he doesn't have social media....I would have found it.

He sits at another student's desk right next to mine with his body facing me.

"You gonna tell me why the hell you look like your best fucking friend just died?"

I stare at the floor next to his shoes and try to think about anything other than fact that I'm never going to see him again.

"Look at me."

I slowly lift my eyes to his and can't stop the tear that escapes the second I see his face.

"Ah, shit." His expression turns serious when he notices my tears. "Look, kid. I -"

"Stop calling me kid." I snap.

He chuckles. "Hate to break it to ya y/n, but you are very much a kid in my eyes, which is why this thing -" he motions his hand towards me. "this.. crush you have on me - has to end today."

My eyes widen as I stare at him speechless. He seriously did not just assume I have a crush on him.

"Did you jus - You seriously think just because a few stupid girls want to get in your pants, it means everyone does?" I scoff. "Unbelievable. You're my teacher. I don't have a crush on you."

He laughs as if we both know I'm lying - which I am.

"Alright, I'm sorry I called you a kid. Now, you wanna tell me what's wrong?"

"It's just I - I'm gonna miss you." I instantly regret saying it.

He nods and looks at the floor, letting out a frustrated sigh.

"I'm sorry. I - I'm just gonna go." I get up to leave, leaving my heart with him. My stomach twists in a knot when I realize he isn't getting up to stop me.

Why would he?

Once I'm in the hall, I turn to take one last look at him. He's bent over with his hands through his hair as if his best friend just died.

Negan's POV: That fucking girl. In my twelve years of teaching, I've never cared about a student like I do her. I care about all of my students, but goddamn it, she's had me wrapped around her finger for longer than I'm comfortable to admit - And I never will. She fucking sucks at hiding her feelings. I knew from the first day she walked into my class that she wanted to jump on my dick. Hell, every girl does. But other girls bat their fake eyelashes at me and tell me how they feel. Y/n.. she's.. obsessed with me. She thinks I didn't notice her doodling my name in her notebook with little hearts. Or that I don't hear her whispering to her friends about the dreams she has about me. Or how she stares at me during lectures like she's on a different planet. And if that's not enough, the girl hates art. Yet she's chosen it as her elective every single year. She has straight A's in every class, but doesn't even try in mine. And yet.. my dumb ass still passed her with an A. Maybe because I'm obsessed with her too.

Back to Y/n's POV:

I cried on the way home that day.

While everyone else celebrated school ending with a party, I stayed in my room and cried while looking at his photo in the yearbook.

While everyone walked across the stage at graduation, my diploma came in the mail and I stayed home holding Negan's lucky baseball bat that he gave me last year.

My last day of junior year, I stayed after school to help Negan clean out his classroom so he could move into a bigger art room. That was the year he quit coaching. I replay the memory in my head more often than I should..

"Why do you have this bat just sitting in the corner?" "It brings me good luck. I hit a home run every game my senior year with that bat." "Your senior year? This bat is that old?!" "Watch it, kid." He rolls his eyes and throws some folders in a bin. "Hmm." I study the bat. "I could use some luck." "Keep it." I look at him confused. "But... it's your-" "I want you to have it." He cuts me off. "Are - Are you sure?" He sighs frustrated. "Do you not want it?" "Well, I mean, I do but -" "Then stop being stubborn and take it."

Ever since that day, his bat has been leaned up against the wall by my bed as a constant reminder of the man I want but can never have.

After a few weeks of feeling sorry for myself, my best friend tried convincing me to do something for myself since my birthday was coming up.

"Y/n, you should.. get your nails done, go buy some new clothes, do.. something. But you need to get out of that room. It's... depressing."

"I think I want a tattoo."

"Oh, okay, yeah. That's a good idea. What are you wanting to get?" She asks from the other end of the phone.

"I dunno." My eyes drift towards the bat. "Something meaningful."

The next day...

Lucille's

The tattoo shop sign reads. I swing the door open, excited for the first time in a month. The sound of tattoo guns and rock music fills the lobby.

"Hey, welcome to Lucille's. Do you have an idea of what you'd like or do you want to see some of our work?" The woman on the other side of the counter pulls out a binder.

"Oh, no, I think I know what I want already." I smile and pull up the picture on my phone before showing her.

"Okay, we can do that. Shouldn't take too long either. An hour tops. I can actually take you now in room 3." The so-called "rooms" aren't actually rooms, but rather closed off sections with tall walls on each side. From where I'm standing, I can't see the people in the tattoo chair, but I can see the top of the tattoo artists' heads if I stand on my tippy-toes.

She leads me to room 3 and I sit in the chair while she gets out the instruments.

"This your first tattoo?"

"Yeah, kinda nervous."

She smiles. "I'd tell you not to worry, but, sorry babe. It's gonna hurt."

I appreciate her honesty and just smile back at her.

"So, where do we want it?" she holds the printed off picture off of the tattoo I want.

I lean back in the chair, putting my legs up, so I'm laying down. I lift my shirt up right above my belly button and slightly pull my shorts down, revealing my pubic bone. "Right here." I point to the left side of where my panty line would be but lower.

After I confirm the placement, she presses the needle to my skin and I bite my bottom lip at the sudden pain that radiates throughout my hip.

"Breathe, babe. You got this."

After a couple seconds, she turns in her chair to load more ink into the gun.

"Y/n?" I hear from the entrance behind me.

I know that voice without turning to look. My eyes widen and the girl tattooing me looks at him.

"Hey boss, you two know each other?" She looks between the two of us.

I look back at him and see him nod at her. "I'll finish her up, Ruby. Thanks." He takes the tattoo gun from her and sits in her chair when she gets up to leave. The scent of leather and cigarettes fills the small room and I realize how much I missed it.

He pauses when he looks down at my skin and I can't tell if he's staring because of my tattoo of choice or because I'm almost completely exposed. If I didn't just shave, half of my pubic hair would be on display to him.

The way he's looking at my skin wakes the butterflies in my stomach and I have to mentally tell myself not to clench my legs together. He looks up at me through heavy eyelids and for the first time in four years, I'm unable to read him. I can't tell if he's disappointed, mad... or turned on...?

He looks back at the tattoo and shakes his head, sighing.

Okay, it's definitely a look of disappointment.

"You realize I have to finish this now that she's already started it, right?" He studies the lines already permanently marked in my skin. The faint purple lines of where the sticker was placed give away the complete outline of what the tattoo will be. "There's still time to change it though."

"What? What do you mean.. change it? I want this one."

"No." Is all he says and my eyes widen in shock at him.

"You can't tell me what to do Negan. I'm an adult, and I'm getting it."

"Why?" He snaps, frustration dripping from his tone.

He looks into my eyes for the first time since he's been in the room and the butterflies in my stomach have now gone wild.

"Because I... I want a piece of you with me always."

He closes his eyes and drops his head. My eyes start to water but I hold them back the best I can.

"Y/n." He shakes his head but to my surprise, he hesitantly places his left hand on my thigh, his fingers dangerously close to the spot I've imagined him touching a million times. The feel of his rough fingers on my bare skin ignites a flame in me I didn't know existed and all I do is stare at his hand.

"Relax." He rolls his eyes and starts the gun. He leans down closer and begins tattooing me.

I have to bite back the moan threatening to escape my lips. With Ruby.. it hurt. But with Negan, it.. almost feels good.

He glances up at me as if he can hear my thoughts and then goes back to gliding a straight line of ink across my skin.

The next few moments are spent in silence, with nothing but the sounds of the tattoo gun and music playing in the distance.

"Fuck, y/n. I'm gonna need these off so I can get to you better." He gestures at my shorts.

My eyes widen but I nod and slide them off, barely breathing now that I'm laying in front of Negan in just my underwear. The way his jaw ticks when he sees that I'm wearing red lace panties doesn't go unnoticed. His favorite color.

He places his hand back on my leg, this time with his fingers completely against my inner thigh. I slightly part my legs without thinking and he pauses to glance at me before continuing with the tattoo.

If he moved his finger half an inch upwards, he would be touching me.

"I never knew you worked at a tattoo shop." I break the silence, hoping to get my mind off his hand.

He chuckles. "I own it, darlin'. And there's a lot you don't know about me."

Another long pause happens before he speaks first this time.

"Why did you take art, y/n?"

"Uh.. I dunno, because I liked it."

He huffs out a laugh. "You liked it... or me?"

I shrug. "Both."

His face turns serious again and he stops the tattoo gun. "All done."

He backs away and motions for me to stand up and look in the mirror in the corner. I stand in front of it, but don't even notice my tattoo because my eyes catch Negan in the mirror staring at my ass. These panties don't leave much to the imagination and my cheeks redden at how much I'm exposed to him.

He suddenly looks up and makes eye contact with me in the mirror. His eyes are darker than usual and filled with lust.

"Come here." He demands and I obey, walking towards him.

Once I'm standing in front of him, he lifts his hands to grab my hips. My belly button is eye level to him and I look down, watching him intensely. His thumbs dig into my hips and he looks at the tattoo.

"Do you like it?" I ask him.

He ignores me and it makes my heart break a little more. "Lay back down, y/n." He gets up to pull the curtain over the entrance of the room.

I do as he says and he comes back, placing a clear tape bandage over the fresh tattoo.

He looks as if he's deep in thought before suddenly sliding his hands underneath my thighs and pulling me closer to him. He pushes my leg aside and rests my other foot in his lap until my legs are completely spread apart in front of him.

"You want me to touch you, y/n? Is that what you want?"

"Yes.."

"Tell me what you want, baby."

"Your mouth."

He chuckles darkly and kisses the inside of my thigh before sliding his fingers under my panties and ripping them apart.

He shoves them in the back of his jean pocket and wraps his arms around my thighs, holding my stomach down with his hands and leaning his head down closer.

"Look at this pretty pussy, baby. So wet for me you're glistening."

His eyes look up at me right before he licks me and my head falls back with pleasure.

He stops suddenly. "Eyes on me, darlin'. How many times have you imagined me between your legs? You're going to watch me eat this pussy, y/n."

I nod, looking at him and he continues. The sound of other people talking in the distance makes my senses even more heightened.

He licks me again, pressing his tongue into me harder this time. He moans as he stops at my clit and gently sucks it into his mouth. I moan and watch him as he looks like he's eating the best meal he's ever had.

"You taste even better than I imagined, baby."

"You.. imagined it?"

"Baby. You aren't the only one who daydreams in class." He says before dipping his tongue deep inside me.

He switches back and forth between licking me and sucking me until my moans get louder and faster.

"Negan, I'm gonna.."

"I know baby, give it to me." He rubs me with his tongue faster until I'm coming apart. His hand quickly covers my mouth and I cry out into his hand.

"Fuck, doll." He groans and adjusts himself through his jeans. "This pussy is about to make me cum in my pants like I'm a fucking teenager again."

"Negan.." I say out of breath. "I wanna touch you. Please."

He stands and picks up my shorts, but not before I see the huge bulge in his pants. He helps me put my shorts on and I look at him confused when he doesn't say anything.

"Nega-"

"No, y/n."

My eyes water with tears as I stand to finish pulling my shorts up. "I - I don't understand."

"This can't happen, baby. I shouldn't have touched you."

I nod. "So that's it, Negan? You get what you want and that's it.. you're just.. done with me?"

"Are you fucking serious? You think I got what I wanted? I'm standing here with a hard-on that's gonna give me a giant case of blue balls. Any other man would throw you on this table and take you right here."

"Then why don't you?!"

"Because I fucking.. I care about you. You happy now? I fucking CARE ABOUT YOU, y/n. And I'm not going to break your heart."

I wipe a tear that runs down my cheek. "You already did." I grab my purse and rush out of the room, stopping in front of Ruby on the way out and pulling out some cash.

"I'm sorry hun." She says empathetically as if she heard everything that just happened.

I cry harder and lay the cash down before leaving and walking to my car. Before I can open my car door, Negan is grabbing my arm and turning me around to face him.

"Goddamn it, listen to me!"

I don't fight him, I just stare at him, noting the hurt in his eyes. My heart hurts and I suddenly feel guilty for making him feel any ounce of pain.

"Y/n.. look.."

"No." I cut him off. "Negan, I'm sorry. This is my fault.. I put you in this situation because I was selfish.. and delusional. I'm so sorry. I'll leave, and you won't have to hear from me or see me again."

He scoffs. "You think that's what I want? I guess you don't know me the way I thought you did."

Before I can say anything else, he crashes his lips to mine and kisses me so hard and but so softly at the same time. His fingers slip through my hair and his hand rests on the back of my neck as he deepens our kiss.

"You're gonna be the death of me, kid."

I bite his lip hard when he calls me kid and our kiss goes from passionate to animalistic. He presses himself flat against me with my back against my car and I feel his hard cock straining against his jeans. His lips travel to my neck and he bites me hard, right before kissing and sucking the sensitive spot.

That's definitely going to leave a mark.

"You have no clue what you do to me, baby." He says in between kisses. His voice is raspier and deeper than usual. "Do you have any idea how many times I've left work and had to rub one out at the thought of you? Hell, sometimes even at work."

I look around the parking lot. It's nighttime but we're still clearly visible in the lights.

"Look at me, y/n. Forget where we are and just focus on me baby." His hand slips into my shorts and it takes him no time to find my soaked entrance since my panties are currently in his back pocket.

"Negan.." I breathe.

He smiles against my lips. "Baby.. You sure this is what you want? Because once I've had you, you're mine."

I nod and he puts his mouth next to my ear.

"Take your shorts off. Now." He pulls his hand from my shorts and sucks my juices off his fingers.

"But, Negan, we're-"

"I said, now y/n. You want me so bad, you're gonna get me wherever and however I say. Now, take your fucking shorts off before I rip them too."

I hesitantly slide my shorts off while looking around again. There aren't any other cars in the parking lot other than a couple of his employees. All the customers left. There's a main road up ahead but we're far enough away where they wouldn't see us unless they we're staring really hard.

"Good girl. Now take my cock out, baby."

He leans his hands against my car on either side of me, trapping me in. I waste no time reaching for the button on his jeans and unzipping him before pulling out his hard, huge cock. It's bigger than I imagined.. a lot bigger. I don't know how that thing is going to even fit in me. He's so hard that the veins in his cock look like they are about to erupt and his tip is already dripping with precum.

I can't help but run my thumb over the tip to collect some and bring it to my mouth to taste him. His eyes darken with lust at the sight of me sucking his precum off my finger.

"Taste good, doll?"

I nod and he chuckles. "There's a lot more where that came from."

He grips the back of my thigh with his hand and pulls my right leg around his waist.

The feeling of his dick rubbing against my wet pussy is enough to make my knees weak. Literally. I almost collapse at the sensation of him rubbing the head against my opening, teasing me. He presses his body closer to me in attempt to hold me up.

"Fuck, look at this dripping pussy." He looks down between us, admiring the view of his cock teasing my wet slit. "It's about to be dripping with my cum in a few minutes.. You ready for me, baby?"

"Yes, please. I need you."

He enters me completely in one swift motion, not giving me anytime to adjust. My walls are stretched further than they've ever been and it feels like the tip of him is buried up to my stomach.

He doesn't move for a moment, but instead looks into my eyes with his cock all the way inside of me. "There you go, baby. Finally getting what you wanted after all these years and taking my dick like a champ."

"Negan.." I moan. "Please.. just fuck me."

He pulls out of me almost completely before slowly pushing himself back in, agonizingly slow. Our bodies are flush against each other and he kisses me again.

"Fuck, baby." He growls. "You. Feel. So. Fucking GOOD." He says between thrusts as my mouth falls open.

I wrap my arms around his neck to hold myself up and lean against him with my lips pressed against his neck. I take the opportunity to mark him back, grabbing his skin between my teeth and sucking hard. He moans so loud that I glance around to make sure no one heard him, but we're still alone.

His thrusts get harder and faster and the sounds coming from his sexy mouth are enough alone to make me cum.

"Look at me, y/n. I want to see your face when you cum all over my cock."

His hand that was on the car behind me slides between us, instantly finding my clit. He begins rubbing circles on it with his middle finger while thrusting his hips into me faster.

I look into his eyes while my arms are still wrapped around his shoulders tightly, keeping me in place. My fingers run through his dark hair and my breathing goes erratic as I feel myself come undone around him.

"You want me to fill you up, baby? You want daddy's cum?"

I nod quickly as tears run down my cheeks from the most intense orgasm I've ever had.

"FUCK, baby." He groans and slams his mouth against mine. I kiss him back as he rides out his orgasm.

He pulls out of me slowly and softly kisses my lips one more time. I go to put my shorts on and he stops me.

"Not so fast, doll." He gets down on his knees in front of me, pushing my legs apart in front of him. "Push daddy's cum out baby. Let me see it drip out of you."

I do as he says and the feeling of his warm seed running down my legs is almost enough to send me over the edge again.

"Look. At. THAT." He swipes up some of his cum from my leg onto his finger and stands back up but not before gently kissing my new tattoo.

I think I love this man.

He rubs his finger along my lips until my mouth opens for him. I suck his fingers clean and moan at the taste of him.

"Y/n." He pushes my hair behind my ear and looks at me seriously. "I meant it when I said I care about you."

"You care about all your students."

"Yeah, but I don't go sticking my dick in them." He smirks and takes my hand, leading me back into the shop.

The others must have already left when - when.. oh.. shit.

"Negan, do you think they saw us?!"

"Well darlin', I was fucking your brains out right next to the door, so I think it's probably safe to assume so." He grins and my eyes widen with horror.

"Do you not care?"

"What can they do, doll? Fire me?" He laughs and leads me to the back where his office is.

"What are we doing in here?"

"Getting matching tattoos, of course."

I stare at him, trying to register what he just said. "You're.. going to give yourself a tattoo?"

He chuckles and hands me a tattoo gun before taking off his shirt and sitting on the couch in the corner.

"No, doll, you are."

Part 2 here

[remember-the-fanfics]

Heya! Saw you were in need of some hazbin requests- would you be okay writing something angsty? I liked your earthborn idea, so you can use that concept for the reader <3 maybe teen!reader is having a rly tough time mentally at the hotel? Panic attacks, loss of appetite, the whole lot of it. You can take this anywhere it goes, I won’t mind. And if you can’t/don’t want to write it no worries! (Also, on a serious note I am getting help currently. Please don’t worry about my mental well-being ❤️)

So abrupt ending, ran out of idea and then got a headache, hope you're doing well. <3

Cut because readers thoughts get real panicked

You weren't a sinner, you haven't even died yet.

Why were you here?

Was everyone right? Did you truly deserve this?

They can't be-, you are still mortal. Then why were you even in Hell?

Why Why why-

You couldn't tell anyone, not that you don't trust them! All of the people (are they even still people if they are dead? Demons?), are nice and you just don't want to worry them with the truth.

-

"Have any of you seen (Y/n)? They are always willing to help me with taste testing my food?" Niffty asked after finishing cooking for the hotel.

"Haven't actual seen them today. I think they are sleeping though the day. I would." Said Husk, cleaning a glass.

"They've been skittish the past few days when they aren't in their room." Alastor stated, "More jumpy that usual."

"(Y/n) haven't been like this since they first got here." Said Charlie with a remorseful look. "I hope I didn't push them to hard on redemption, I know they can be sensitive about certain things."

"Like how all of this could be for nothing?" Said Alastor with a chuckle. "They might realize that and miss their old life. Realizing that they can't actually get better than hell."

"I'm checking on them." Said Vaggie, getting up and heading towards (Y/n)'s room.

"Just don't be too pushy! And make sure they've eaten! And water!" Said Charlie after Vaggie.

-

Vaggie remembers the look on your face when you realized you were in Hell being the one who found you wondering aimlessly. Your transition to a sinner wasn't a pretty one, after accepting Charlie's offer at the hotel the two didn't see you for almost two weeks. Vaggie thought you left until Charlie convinced you to come out of your room.

You look lost when you opened the door. The two only realized that you were young, not a child but not completely an adult. Charlie didn't force you to talk about what you were thinking, just got you to eat something and drink water then take a shower with some borrowed clothes.

Vaggie had moved you to a closer room to the two of them. You didn't have anything to move out so you just followed the two. They kept an eye on you since, making sure you realized that this wasn't the end.

Vaggie grumbled on her breath, standing infront of your door. Knocking with no answer.

"Kid, I know you're in there. Just want to make sure you're okay."

"..."

"(Y/n) did one of these assholes do something? I'll kick their ass if they did." Vaggie continued. "... You haven't closed yourself off like this since you first got here."

Hearing a sniffle after bring that up, clued Vaggie in what might be wrong.

"Look, I'm not like Charlie and will break the door down instead of talking to you for 2 weeks waiting for you to open it."

" 'm fine Vaggie."

"When was the last time you ate?"

"..."

"Or drank any water? Or even took a shower?"

"Give me a second."

-

(Y/n) would have jump out of the window if it wasn't that far. They looked for any escape route from Vaggie and the conversation they would have. (Y/n) could hide in the closet but they spent their childhood in there, they dont want to go back.

With a quick push the trash under their bed and make themselves presentable, they open the door and Vaggie look unimpressed.

"Come on, Niffty made food. You're eating." Said Vaggie not giving (Y/n) a chance to say no by grabbing their hand and pulling them along.

"Okay..."

"Charlie gonna want to know what upset you." Said Vaggie, (Y/n) groaned in response.

"Can't we just say I'm fine? I don't want to talk about it."

"You're not fine. You've not closed yourself off in awhile."

"I needed some me time?"

"That shouldn't include ignoring your health."

-

Well it was the most awkward dinner, everyone was trying not to stare at (Y/n)'s disheveled shape while eating. (Y/n) ate almost half the plate before pushing it away.

"I'm full." They said.

"You haven't eaten in a week, you need to finish." Said Husk.

"That's all I can eat right now. If I try I'll probably vomit it back up which will put me back in square one." Said (Y/n), trying not to get annoyed with the others for caring.

"You still need to hydrate." Vaggie said putting down a glass of water infront of them, (Y/n) grimace at the glass as water didn't taste good to them.

"Fine just can you all go back to eatting your own food?" (Y/n) said, sipping on the water while everyone grumbled and went back to their own plates of food. Everyone became silent while eating when it just became to loud in (Y/n)'s head again.

-

You were fine, everything was fine. This water was... water. The food was fine.

Everything was just fine. Everyone was fine.

Why then didn't it feel fine?

Why couldn't you feel fine?

Because you were in hell-

Like all the people your family said would be there-

People like

You.

But you shouldn't be here. You never died, you don't even look like the people down here.

Down down down, why does you life always go that direction?

You really should breath.

-

The first one to notice was the only one who didn't take her eyes off of (Y/n), Charlie, seeing that (Y/n) just stops everything. Charlie went to them quickly, not touching them yet. Crouching down next to their chair, having everyone watching now. Vaggie gotten out of her own chair ready to help at any moment.

"(Y/n)? Are you-?"

(Y/n) took a quick inhale, barely putting down their glass in time for their body to exhale. Charlie realized that they were breathing too fast while (Y/n) realized they were panicking infront of people.

"(Y/n)?" Asked Charlie, startling (Y/n) out of their thoughts and almost out of their chair. They looked like a frighten animal at Charlie.

"...Fine, 'm fine, t'is fine, promise." (Y/n) said, trying to not worry Charlie.

"Just focus on your breath." Said Charlie. "Just close your eyes and focus, in for 5, hold for 5, and exhale for 5."

(Y/n) squeezed their eyes shut, trying to focus their ragged breathing to calm down.

Just focus

After a few minutes, (Y/n) keep their eyes closed not wanting to face everyone.

"Better?" Asked Vaggie.

"Hmm." (Y/n) mumbled in response.

"Want to take a shower, while I get Niffty to fix up your room?"

"Hm- yeah."

-

While (Y/n) being in the shower, Charlie and Vaggie went with Niffty to (Y/n)'s room. Which just was littered with all things; trash, clothes, and random things.

"I never seen their room this messy before, hope there aren't any bugs. If there are any, they wouldn't be for long." Said Niffty getting to work quickly.

Charlie helped by ridding the bed of covers, pillows, and sheets. Vaggie taking anything that seemed dirty to be washed and getting new bedding for the bed, while looking for clean clothes for (Y/n) to wear.

"What do you think bothering them so much?" Asked Charlie.

"Probably thinking that they'll be suck here forever." Said Niffty.

"...That's probably true but they believe in redemption that I'm working on, are they second guess it?"

"(Y/n) has a habit of pushing their problems away until they can't." Said Husk, standing at the door way with a drink. "I'll take the clothes to them if you want." He said to Vaggie before she handed him the clothes.

"But they know we are here for them. Why can't they trust us with helping them though this?"

"They are probably use to going though it by themselves, they don't usually talk about who they were before hell." Said Vaggie, putting a hand on Charlie's shoulder. "We'll be here to help them up again when they need it."

"I know, I just want the help them before it gets to this." Said Charlie before (Y/n) appeared in the doorway of their room.

"Oh wow, you all did a good job. It looks way better." Said (Y/n) nervously after hearing what Charlie said. "I apologize for what happened. Not use to people wanting to help me before it becomes their problem when it gets to big."

"Well we'll be here if you ever want to talk about it." Said Charlie.

"Thanks. I'll try if it happens again."

[lumpsbumpsandwhumps]

Love love love fake-outs in whump because there's just so many angst potentials ranging from "oh no :(" to "oh my fucking god"

Whumpee finally managing to escape, running as fast as their legs will carry them right into the arms of Caretaker who tearfully tells them they'll never lose them again...only to wake up and realize it had been a delirious dream from blood loss

Someone coming across Whumpee who begs them for help, pleading for rescue, and this poor stranger is so startled and hurriedly assures Whumpee that everything will be okay, they won't let anything happen to them, they'll call the police and...haha, sorry, couldn't keep a straight face any longer. Whumper, did you get all that? Send me a picture of that face, it's too priceless.

Caretaker has finally found Whumpee after so long and are working on getting the shackles off, whispering soft praises and promises that everything is all over now, there's nothing to be afraid of because Whumper is...well, they thought Whumper was dead, but apparently they had just enough strength to come up behind Caretaker and slit their throat

Whumpee has been rescued from their hell, picked up by a kind stranger who's none to happy to hear about Whumper's antics, but don't worry, Whumpee will never have to experience that kind of torment again...because what their new captor has in store for them is much, much worse than the child's play that had been described

Whumpee is dragged away kicking and screaming from their beloved Caretaker, begging for Whumper to show them mercy and that they don't deserve such cruel treatment, promising to be good if they only let Caretaker go...but Whumpee, what are you talking about? Caretaker is the real Whumper, don't you remember? When they kidnapped you so long ago? What did they do to your mind?

Caretaker is just so relieved to have Whumpee back by their side again, their wounds carefully treated and cuddled up close, refusing to part from Caretaker ever again after being rescued...everything went according to Caretaker's plan, now that Whumpee's had a taste of what life would be like if they tried to leave, they'll never want to let Whumper go. I mean, Caretaker.

[kitscutie]

Hi, could you can do one where Rafe finds that you are sh, but first he begins to suspect for a long time and begins to ask discreetly, you think that he doesn't know anything and you don't want him to find out either, but in the end they are playing wrestling and accidentally the he discovers it and asks in serious but not angry tones what those are, you try to pretend that they are nothing but this time he doesn't let you escape so easily, in the end you end up confessing and he shows his support and makes you feel good

Sorry if it's too long (I don't know if it was understood)

not alone (rafe cameron x fem!reader)

𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝗋𝖺𝖿𝖾 𝖼𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗋𝗈𝗇 𝗑 𝖿𝖾𝗆!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀ꜱ: ꜱ𝖾𝗅𝖿 𝗁𝖺𝗋𝗆, 𝖽𝖾𝗉𝗋𝖾ꜱꜱ𝗂𝗈𝗇, 𝖺𝗇𝗑𝗂𝖾𝗍𝗒, 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗍

ꜱ𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒: 𝗒𝗈𝗎'𝗏𝖾 ᖯ𝖾𝖾𝗇 ꜱ𝗍𝗋𝗎𝗀𝗀𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝗇 ꜱ𝗂𝗅𝖾𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝖺 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝗅𝖾 ᖯ𝗎𝗍 𝗋𝖺𝖿𝖾 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐ꜱ 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗍𝗈𝗈 𝗐𝖾𝗅𝗅, 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 ᖯ𝖾𝗀𝗂𝗇𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗈 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗂ꜱ𝖾 ꜱ𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂ꜱ𝗇'𝗍 𝗊𝗎𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖺ᖯ𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎.

𝖺/𝗇: 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗂ꜱ 𝖼𝖺𝗇 𝗁𝖾𝗅𝗉 ꜱ𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗀𝗈𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁 𝖺 𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾, 𝗉𝗅𝖾𝖺ꜱ𝖾 𝖽𝗈𝗇'𝗍 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽 𝗂𝖿 𝗂𝗍 𝗆𝖺𝗒 𝗍𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗀𝖾𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎, 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝖿𝗂𝗋ꜱ𝗍. 𝖺𝗅ꜱ𝗈, 𝗂 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖽𝗈𝗇'𝗍 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾𝖽 ꜱ𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝖽𝖾𝗍𝖺𝗂𝗅ꜱ ᖯ𝗎𝗍 𝗂 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗀𝗈 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖺 𝖿𝗅𝗈𝗐 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖿𝖾𝗅𝗍 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝖾 ᖯ𝗎𝗍 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 ꜱ𝗍𝗎𝖼𝗄 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗈𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗂𝗇𝖺𝗅 𝗈𝗎𝗍𝗅𝗂𝗇𝖾. 𝗋𝖾𝗊𝗎𝖾ꜱ𝗍ꜱ 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗈𝗉𝖾𝗇!

Kook. A word you had began to hate. You had been friends with the Cameron's since you were only one. Meeting Sarah in a park on figure eight and quickly becoming friends, no, best friends. Since then you had met her family, won over her parents, fell in love with her brother and babysat her little sister.

It was all too good to be true, literally.

Sarah faded out of your life within a week. Meeting John B and seemingly falling in love with him over night. It annoyed you how easily she had moved on, found new friends, never even giving you a good reason. Kie, her sworn enemy had replaced you as her best friend while you were left to rot, the only trace of her existence being your boyfriend (her brother) and the bracelet she made you in sixth grade.

You had always been Pro-Pogue, never talking badly of those with less. Never messing with them, never picking fights and treating them with the same respect you treat Kooks. It seemed she didn't agree. Turning on you as the Pogues convinced her you were just like Rafe, spoiled and all-mighty. You thought she would at least remember that wasn't true. Care that it wasn't true, but she didn't.

Fazing you out of her life as though you were never there in the first place.

Of course that wasn't all that dampened your mood, but it was a start.

"Hey." Rafe commanded your attention back to him as you lay on the sofa of the Cameron house together. "You good? Looking a little lost." He chuckled in the smug Rafe Cameron way that he typically did.

"Fine just, thinking, I don't know." You answered, waving away his concern. Though he had every right to be. Under your shirts sleeve was a physical embodiment of the pain you felt inside. The loneliness of your friends abandoning you, the feeling of nobody liking you, being unlovable, ugly, weird, snotty, jealous. The list went on and on inside your head, a silent battle.

At least you had Rafe, right?

"Don't tell me you're pissed off again?" He asked, seemingly angry at you. "I swear to god if you're upset about Sarah she's not worth it." He scoffed at the thought of his younger sister who was your age.

"She was my friend." You spoke, voice wavering.

"Was. Key word Y/N, she abandoned you. For what? Some stupid Pogues?" He spat getting up from the sofa, seemingly irritated by your emotional state.

"Yeah but I've known her since, well forever Rafe-" you began, though it didn't take long for him to cut you off. Angry? High? You didn't know.

"I've known you forever Y/N!" He yelled making you flinch. It was at times like these that you saw the typical cook Rafe Cameron from figure eight that everyone else did, you hated it. "Long enough to know she's not good enough for you, okay? So stop talking about it." He finished, walking out of the room. Most likely to sniff some coke with Kelce.

Eyes filling with tears you ran up to his room, body filling with pain as you fell into the trap your brain wouldn't let you escape for the third time.

Curled up on his bed you heard a knock on the door and you pulled your sleeved down to hide the scars left behind.

"Y/N?" You heard his voice, soft and gentle, very different from the previous Rafe you dealt with that day. He took a seat on the bed next to you hand gliding over your hip which was nestled beneath many blankets.

"What." You spoke, voice tired and croaky from the hours of shed tears within the past few days.

"Look, I've been speaking to Topp about what I said and, I know I probably took it too far. You have the right to be upset whether I like Sarah or not." He spoke so softly it was almost a whisper. Hand continuing it's soothing movements.

Sniffling once more, you turned onto your side now facing him. With that he saw your puffy and red eyes. His face dropping along with his heart. He could see the way your hands held the bottom of your sleeves down and, of course, he assumed the worst. A pink tinge showing from beneath the white fabric.

"Why're you doing that?" He asked. Taking one of your hands into his own.

"Doing what? You asked, tucking your body up to your neck under the blanket.

"Hm, never mind. Look, I'm sorry and I really do love you even if I'm shitty at showing it." He scampered to save himself, a hand running through his greasy hair that made him look oh so beautiful. His voice almost cut out when saying the word, 'love', clearly not used to that emotion, even if he had said it to you before.

"It's okay." You replied. It wasn't. "I'm just being over-emotional." You chuckled tearily. You weren't.

"You're mine either way so I gotta take care of you, yeah?" He asked, hand stroking the hairs from your forehead as his eyes connected with yours deeply. Rafe had two sides, caring, loyal and loving versus irritable, angry and overwhelmed. As long as you had him, it didn't matter which version you got. "You promise you're okay? I was just being stupid."

"I promise." You tearily smiled, and as he left you couldn't help but let them fall once more. Disappointed that you let his offer of support slip away once more.

Little did you know, his suspicions of you hurting yourself hadn't faded. Your usual self had been missing for a while now, and he couldn't help but blame Sarah.

You don't know how you ended up here but you liked it. In some random house in figure eight, drinking in a shirt and skirt two sizes too small. Rafe's body pressed up against yours as you went upstairs to have some 'alone time'.

The five vodka cranberries you previously drank finally caught up to you as you giggled and stumbled against Rafe's muscular body. Him chuckling in return at your state. He too was drunk, enough to feel a buzz but not enough to put you in danger.

You practically fell into the spare bedroom you had found, bodies colliding on the double bed and his hands, as they usually would in times like this, grabbed onto your wrists in order to hold them down against the mattress though this time, you winced.

Too drunk to realise what was happening you continued pushing your lips against his though the favour wasn't returned. His eyes stuck on your wrists which felt, bumpy?

"Why are you wincing?" He asked, gently cradling your head with one hand in order to keep your eyes on him.

"What do you mean, no I'm not." You chuckled, anxiety setting in as you noticed your mistake.

"You did. Just then when I touched your wrist?" He said, voice whispered as much like you, his anxiety set in. Memories rushed in of your bad attitude, low appetite, teary eyes, clinginess and suddenly it began to make sense. You were depressed and his heart was sinking deeper and deeper into his chest by the second.

"Please tell me you haven't-" He started though before he could finish his panic took over and he pulled your sleeve up, revealing the painful looking scars. "What are those, Y/N?" He asked, voice rough but not annoyed, you couldn't quite distinguish his tone.

No words came to your mouth, only stutters of sentences, never complete. Suddenly, a sob breached your throat and you clung to the boy on top of you tighter than you ever had before.

"Shhh." He comforted you. Instinct to love you taking over any shock there previously. "It's okay baby, it's okay." He soothed once more, hand running over you hair as you tucked your face into his neck. His own tears kissed his eyes though he never let them fall.

"I'm sorry." You blubbered and he scoffed.

"Why are you apologising? This isn't your fault." He cooed, in disbelief one person could carry the weight of so many emotions alone. "You have nothing to be sorry for okay? I should've been there for you, made you comfortable to tell me about stuff like this." He added, holding you impossibly closer.

"Okay." You stuttered. Welcoming his words into your sad mind, feeling the weight they lifted.

"You're not alone anymore. I'm gonna take care of you." He whispered in your ear and for the first time in months, you smiled. Small and almost invisible but your lips twitched. "I love you." He said.

"I love you too." You answered. Going home that night hand in hand and realising it wasn't you against the world anymore, you weren't alone. You had Rafe. You had someone who really loved you and wanted to help you.

And that was enough.

[princessbunnib]

Captivated Pleasure

Simon 'GHOST' Riley |Cod/Mw2|

Summary: Due to your husband's shady life choices, your caught in the middle when you find yourself in the basement of some building with a masked man sitting in front of you.

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley X Fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+ Smut MDNI, Mask Kink, Dom Simon, Sub Reader, Mentions Of Knife Play, Oral |M| Receiving, Face Fucking, Come In Throat, Come On Face, Praising, Vaginal Sex, Flirtatious/Cocky Simon, Choking, Breeding Kink, Talk Of Impregnation, Mentions Of Anal, Mutual Masturbation, CreamPie.

Author's Note: I had so much fucking fun writing this.

Pt2 Here:

____

You were sitting on the cold concrete floor with your hands cuffed to a pipe. You had no idea where you were. All you could remember was a group of men breaking into your home, taking you your husband and taking you captive.

It's been atleast a few days since the break in. At first you were scared but you've now come to terms with what's happened.

You haven't been able to see your husband at all. But quite frankly you didn't went to either. He's been up to some things he didn't see was important enough to tell you about? Now you're sitting here in what seems to be a basement just because of him.

You sighed thinking about the situation at hand. The doors opened and was followed with someone walking down the creaking stairs. Since you couldn't see anything, a shiver rushed through your body. Only until you heard the sound of a chair being pulled up in front of you.

The sack that covered your head was pulled off gently. You were met by a man sitting in the chair. His hands firmly holding the lining of his harness.

The man wore a mask with the face of a skull on it. His dark ghostly eyes staring down at you.

"Let me go already! What even is this?" You asked shaking your wrists from the cuffs.

"Negative, I'm afraid I can't do that, it's against the rules."

"What rules? You mother fuckers ran into my home with guns! I'm sure the rules have been off the table since the beginning!"

He deeply chuckled fixing the way his mask hugged his face. "Quite the fiery one aren't you? I'm guessing your husband didn't tell you anything? To put it simply, he knows information that we want... and to get him to talk, we took you captive along with him..."

"I'm sure if you were taken and put in a fucking basement, you'd be 'firey' too." You said rolling your eyes.

"You have a point... but uhm, we aren't going to hurt you if that's what you think is going to happen, they just sent me down here to make sure if you're okay... wouldn't want you getting any ideas of escaping now would we?" He leaned into your face, staring down at you. You swolled the lump in your throat gazing into his eyes, his peircing stare making your body feel warm.

"What's with the mask? I think it's ridiculous, I mean don't you get hot under there or something?" You asked swiftly changing the subject.

"It's made out of breathable material, and I think it's amusing that you care about my mask even if I had a hand in you being down here in the first place."

"I don't- it's just..." You held your tongue on your words and looked away from him.

The truth was that you actually found the mask attractive. His voice was deep and raspy, not to mention the accent he held. The way his eyes would glare down to you while he sat high made you feel a certain way. As scary as it was to be down here, he was making this seem not so bad.

"So- I can't just be let free? I wouldn't go to the police or anything." You said trying to further the conversation.

"I'm afraid it's not about that darlin' the sooner your husband talks, the sooner you two can go back to your lives..."

"Fuck... that stubborn asshole, I just know he's not going to say a damn thing..." You stated rolling your eyes. "Can you take these cuffs off of me? They hurt so bad."

"Can't do that either darlin'." He said with a cocky tone.

Was he really flirting with you? And did he think giving you some stupid pet name was going to work?

You scoffed at his remark. "Don't call me that, I'm married." You said.

"Oh yeah? I highly doubt that you actually enjoy having that ring on your finger, I saw your house... not one picture of the two of you was hung on the walls, and also your phone has nothing in it that would signify that you were married."

"We just don't like to make it a big deal, it's not that serious!" You said raising your voice.

The masked man didn't think of you as frightening whatsoever. He could see past the tone of your voice that you were actually scared shitless. With your hands cuffed, it's not like you could actually be an aposing threat.

If anything, he found it funny that you were trying so hard. His eyes then traced your body, your legs were definitely your best quality.

So soft looking and silky smooth. He enjoyed the way your pencil skirt hugged your curves just right. The top button to your blouse had warn out and popped off over time. Now giving him the perfect view of your cleavage.

"My goodness, could you stop pretending for a second? I can just tell that you don't love him... doesn't take a therapist to see that. Do you not like to make it a big deal, or is it just him?"

"Fuck you... what would you know about marriage? You don't seem like the relationship type of guy anyway..." You said now feeling embarrassed. He was completely right. Your marriage was a lie, you couldn't even believe that you agreed to such contract after you took pride in not wanting to be married for years.

The thought of having that shiny rock on your finger is what made you romanticize the proposal. In reality you feld ignored, like a stranger in your own home.

He then lifted your head by your chin with his finger. You looked up at him, feeling yourself melt on the inside. "Don't look down now, just say you don't love him... I bet you want to feel the connection of a real man, don't you?"

You could never get yourself to admit it out loud that you didn't love your husband. You decided to live in delusion for so long that you forgotten how you truly feel.

He took his hand away from your chin and sighed deeply while stretching. His hips moving forward to give him a more relaxed posture.

Your mind couldn't keep straight. With his cocky attitude and voice, you couldn't keep up the act any longer. He has to know what he's doing, sitting in front of you like this. Calling you all sorts of names, softening his tone while speaking to you.-

You glanced down to his crotch area. He had so many things on his body, making him look like a solider. Not one bit of skin was shown, and that alone was giving you material to work off with in your mind.

You would pay any amount of money to see what was underneath.

"Pick up your jaw there sweetheart, your husband wouldn't appreciate you looking at another man the way you are..." He said with a sly tone.

You snapped out of your trance and looked up at him, you could tell he had a grin on his face.

"Wh-what? I wasn't looking..." You said trying to act natural but clearly failed to.

"Yeah? Then why are you so nervous... hmp, I say..." He got up from the chair, pushing it to the back of the room. "If I was your husband, you wouldn't even think about drooling over the cock of another man..."

With those words he then walked back upstairs. You watched him as your thighs clenched. Fuck... you hoped he could come back, you couldn't shake this feeling of desire for him.

Your sitting in this room, turned on by a person you can't even see the real face of.

____

"He's still not talkin' is he? His wife was right... he sure is a stubborn fuck..."

"Exactly, to think taking her hostage was going to push things along, he clearly doesn't care about her. Have you spoken to her yet?"

"I did last night... she's perfectly fine down there... although she might be cold, so give her a blanket or two... in the meantime, I'll go keep her company..."

You laid on the floor staring at the piped ceiling when you heard a conversation take place above you. Maybe he was coming back down to see you? You sat upwards and watched the door, seeing the light from upstairs beam through.

As you expected, a man walked downstairs with heavy steps. Your eyes widened in joy once you saw him. He took off his helmet and fixed his mask. Soon meeting eyes with you, seeing your expression.

"Look at you getting excited like a puppy... you must be happy to see me, yeah?" He asked positioning the chair in front of you once more.

"I'm not getting excited..." You said rolling your eyes.

"Awe at this point you're going to hurt my feelings, I should just leave you down here again shouldn't I..." He said pretending to get up again.

"No Wait!-"

He smriked and sat back down, staring down at you waiting for you to finish.

"Yes darlin'? You have something to say to me?" He asked already having a good guess on what you were going to respond with.

"I was thinking last night... and, you're right... I don't love him." You spoke lowly.

"Awe, well baby I already knew that, I just wanted to hear you fix those pretty lips of yours to say it..."

You pressed your lips together feeling flattered that he would even say such a thing.

"So what now then? I already said it... did you just want me to gas your ego by proving your assumption right?" You asked in a whing tone.

He pulled the chair closer to you, now leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. He stared down at you and held his hand out, caressing your cheek.

"What now? I presume that you were expecting to get something out of this, hm? Go head and tell me then sweetheart, so i can know exactly what you want..." His touch was like lava. Heat radiated from your skin as you pressed your cheek into his glove shamefully enjoying the small amount of touch.

"I... I want..." You whimpered shaking the cuffs again. You were trying to fight against the creeping urge to touch yourself but couldn't. You hated being so restricted.

You needed to touch yourself. The twitching of your clit was killing you. If only you could show him what you wanted, rather than telling.

He took note of your whimpers. A smirk creeping over his clothed face.

"Want what? Say it for me baby..." He responded, continuing to egg you on in a teasing manner.

"Please can you let me out? I can't do this anymore- pleasee~" You begged in a high tone.

"Really? Have some shame, look at you, begging... it's quite pathetic... but sweetheart, I can't fulfill your requests if you don't tell me... believe me, I'm aching to shove my fat cock inside that tight little cunt of yours, but I can't do that..." His hand wrapped around your throat, speaking into your ear gently. "If you don't stress to me about how much you want- no... how much you need it..."

Your mouth was watering at this point. All you had to do was speak up and tell him, but you really wanted him to take advantage of you. Use you like the toy you've always wanted to be.

He had the perfect opportunity to do so, with you being cuffed up still. It's not like you could fight back. It's not like you wanted to fight back.

"What's it going to be? Do you want to keep siting there with your panties soaking by every second we spend ignoring the real reason I'm here? Or, do you want me to fuck you senseless, with your permission of course... unless you want to me slut you out for the night- fucking buckets of my semen inside of you, possibly impregnating you with my baby?, either way I'll be satisfied."

"I want- I want to be your whore... please I desperately need you to fuck me... use me like I'm a bitch in heat... I'm so tired of clenching my pussy around nothing..."

"Hmp... that's all I needed to hear."

____

Simon had a firm grip on the back of your head, forcing his cock in and out of your throat while the other held onto the sturdy pole that was next to you.

Tears built up in your eyes as you stared up at him. His groans loud and vocal, echoing throughout the lackluster room. You lifted your hands placing them on the band of his pants for support.

"Mffhpp~ oghhfp!"

"What was that my little fuck toy? Can't really hear you over the sound of me using you as a personal fleshlight, do you need a second to breath? Let me know princess..."

"Ffppahhh hngghhh-!"

He groaned pulling his hips back, you sighed heavily now breathing through your mouth. Simon looked down at you once more, pressing his cock head on your cheek waiting for you to give him the 'okay' to continue.

The cold air making him slightly moan after being stuffed away in your mouth for so long.

"Are you aright baby? Please tell me if I'm being too rough..."

"*haah~ haaf* It's fine- please don't stop-" You heavily gasped sticking your tongue out, opening your mouth wide.

"You fuckin' whore... as you wish my darlin'."

He pulled your hair slightly, keeping your head at an angle as he thrusted his hips into your throat.

You placed your hands on your throat, feeling the lump grow and shrink matching the speed of his thrusts. He moaned throwing his head back as you massaged your throat, making the experience more pleasurable for him.

His thrusts were long and deep, only pulling back once your nose was met with the neatly trimmed bush that was his pubic hair.

"Such a good fucking girl~ shit... aghh I'm gonna fill your throat so fucking deep, you'll be coughing up my semen for weeks... would you like that baby?"

You nodded hummed, sending vibrations down his shaft. "Ahaah~ that's right baby..."

His hips came to an abrupt stop to draw out time from his window to finish. You whimpered placing your hands around the base of his shaft. Now sucking his tip with the widen of your tongue. Teasing his frenulim with just the very end of your tongue.

He watched you with a grin behind his mask, he made sure to keep your hair out of your face to not distract you from pleasing him. He could feel his balls tingle by every lick as he so desperately wanted to pull his orgasm forward. Your eyes staring up at him innocently as if you weren't making sloppy wet kisses up and down his shaft, lightly gliding your teeth on the veins protruding from his blush pink skin.

"I bet you haven't done any of this to your husband, hm? I say, I'm quite honored to be the first man you try this on..."

"Tell me how big it is sweetheart, I can see the struggle in your teary eyes... you can barely fit me inside, it was a miracle that I was even able to fuck that throat of yours..."

"I can't even hold it~ I need both of my hands to do so... your head is so thick, I can't wrap my whole tongue around it... so fucking huge~ my husband's is so small... I hate sucking on it... but yours- fuck I could have you in my mouth all day."

"Oh yeah? Well good for you princess... this cock belongs to you no matter of you want it to or not, fuck I can't ever pass this opportunity up... from now on I'll be the only one fucking your slutty little esophagus..."

Simon then thrusted into your mouth more forcfully. His eyes closing tightly as he clenched his jaw. You moaned onto his cock as your eyes rolled back. Your hands returning to the band on his pants.

Praises and curse words fell from his lips as he felt his knees locking in place. Simon proceeded to speak in tongue as he felt his cock burn with pleasure, now shooting his heavy sticky load into your throat. You panicked breaifly but took it with pride as you heavily breathed through your nose.

He groaned loudly, hodling your head in place. Soon watching his cock drip with excess semen. You swallowed his load with your eyes dark with lust. You looked up at him opening your mouth up again.

"More~ I want more~" You moaned heavily breathing.

"This is just the begining sweetheart, don't worry that pretty little head." He sighed heavily with a grin.

He sat in the chair again, now taking his gloves off proceeding to wrap his hand around the base of his shaft. Stroking it to get it hard again. You watched him, licking your bottom lip as if he was a piece of meat.

"Aw princess looks like I'm not hard enough, I'll tell you what... I let you out of those damn cuffs only so you can give me a show yeah? How does that sound?"

"What am I supposed to do? I haven't masturbated in front of anyone before..." You said slightly worried.

"Alright... don't worry sweetheart." Simon pulled his pants up briefly and grabbed the face covering from before, now putting it on your head and taking his mask off.

He shoved it in his pocket and began to lay soft kisses on your body, pulling at your skirt and blouse to get them off.

"Keep that on sweetheart, I know you find my mask attractive... don't ruin the surprise now... behave for me and I'll come on every inch of your body... disobey me and I'll leave you high and dry, maybe telling all of those men upstairs how easy you were to suck my cock... that would be embarrassing now wouldn't it..."

You felt his soft lips on your inner thighs. You moaned draping them over his shoulder, he chucked grabbing the keys to your cuffs out of his spare pocket and unlocked them.

Your arms fell to your sides, now placed on the cold floor keeping you sitting up straight. You moaned loudly once you felt a long lick on your clit, followed with a thumb pressing on the bundle of nerves.

"Would you look at that... I was right, your soaking wet... your cunt is just dripping on the floor? And your panties... call me a pervert but you definitely aren't getting these back..."

Simon then popped his finger in his mouth, tasking your delicious juices and smirking to himself.

"You taste amazing... such a pretty pussy you have there too... I can't wait to ruin it with my babies, you'd like that wouldn't you?"

"Yes~ please can't you just fuck me now?" You whined bucking your hips slightly.

"Awe baby... hold on, don't be so greedy now... I'm going to sit back down in my chair, and you be a good girl by putting your fingers to use... have you squirted before baby?"

"No..."

"Don't worry, I'll fix that..." He said before getting up and sitting down again.

He pulled his cock out waiting for you to do anything that could get him started. Truth was, by simply staring at you and imagining the smell of your panties, his cock was growing by the second.

You were nervous to even continue. You knew he was looking at you, calculating your every move. You didn't want to disappoint even of this was out of your comfort zone. The embaressment you felt only made you wetter.

You sighed and turned around on all fours. Arching your back allowing your lower half to be on full display. Your face on the cold concrete.

"Fuck- the things I'd do to fuck that pretty asshole... have you ever had someone fuck your ass before baby?"

"N-no~ ahhh-" You spoke soon moaning as you penetrated the spongey insides that was your walls with a single finger.

Simon spit on his hand as makeshift lubricant. He then held his shaft at the base, stroking up and down only to stop with a firm squeeze on his tip. He watched the cloudy stream of pre-cum drip down his head.

You continued to moan as you pushed in another finger, now pumping them in and out in a consistent rythem. Your vagina began to clench around your digits, producing clear liquid coating your lips and clit.

"So fucking wet... you by far have the most prettiest cunt I've seen... I want to fuck it until it's red... how does it feel to have some stranger stroke his cock to you? Does it make you feel more confident in being a slut?"

Hahh~ uhhh... mmm fuck~ y-yes- nghh..." You whimpered arching your back more deeply and swaying your hips side to side.

"God fuck- I'm trying to have some composure here but you just keep tempting me... I want to be balls deep inside you..."

The sticky wet sounds of your vagina filled the room sounding like music to Simon's ears. He then began to fuck his hand imagining that it was you. He watched your delicate fingers wrap around your clit, twisting it and applying pressure. You screamed louder before placing your free hand on your mouth to muffle your moans.

What if everyone upstairs heard you? Oh shit, what if your husband hears you?

"Ahh I need- I need you so bad... pleasee?" You whined turning over on your back, spreading your legs wide and playing with your clit.

"I need you too princess, fuck- keep being a good girl and I'll do whatever you want me too... I appreciate how honest you're being now- I don't have to encourage you to say you want to fuck me..."

"Mmm please please please- oh my fucking god- I want to fuck you so bad it hurts..." You whimpered curling your fingers deeper inside you.

"Oh yeah I know you do, just by the sounds of your pussy I can tell... I want to fuck you- put you in so many positions... force your head down to the floor as I pound into you- my balls slapping against that pretty clit-"

"What else do you wanna do to me? Don't stop now my fingers are drowning in my pussy right now~"

Simon gasped loudly as he used his other hand to massage his heavy balls. Pressing his thumb and index finger on the extra skin that laid in the middle.

"Hahh~ aghh, fuck... I want to put you into a fucking mating press and breed you- I want you to ride my face as I have a knife to your stomach, dragging it on your skin everytime you inch closer to orgasm."

"Ahhh yess~ mmm, why put it to my stomach when you can have it on my thigh? Do you know what I want you to do with that knife? Haahhf.~"

"What is it baby- tell me as I stroke my fat cock-"

"I want you to break the skin on my thighs marking your territory- fuck~ you can even carve your name into them... I want my husband to know that I belong to another.~"

His hand pumped faster, he built up saliva in his mouth only to spit it onto his head, rubbing it with his right hand while still using his left to massage his balls.

His cock head twitched and allowed a stream of come to spill out. He sighed heavily, fucking his hand once more while watching you.

"Sounds like fucking heaven, don't threaten me with a good time princess... I'll mark you with more than just my name.~"

Simon groaned loudly as he took his hands away from himself. He grabbed your wrists pulling you to his body, he pushed you back around, forcing your naked body to the cold floor. You squirmed under his heavy build only to have his hand around your throat receiving a tight squeeze.

"Stop fucking squirming... I need to fuck you now, I don't care if it hurts- I'm gonna fuck you however I want to got it? You're nothing but a fucking toy to me- you hear me princess?"

Simon then put his mask back on, then proceeded to pull your face covering off and place his hand on the ground, using the other to hold you down in place.

"Look forward until I say otherwise you fucking whore." He growled into your ear before sliding his cock inside you with ease.

Your sensitive walls pulling him inside, making him moan in your ear. You bit your lip as Simon pulled your left arm behind your back and lifted your hips from the concrete, now keeping your body into a slope easy for him to thrust into.

You moaned as he began to forcfully thrust not giving you any time to get used to his thicker size. You whined trying to get out of his grip.

"I'm gonna fuck you so hard that you'll only be able to get off to the feeling of my veiny cock inside that cunt- I don't give a fuck if it's too big for you, get used to it baby~"

"It hurts~ but feels so fucking good- I don't know if I want you to slow down or fuck me harder.~"

He deeply chuckled as he dragged out his thrusts forcing cream to form at the base of his cock. He groaned watching how easily your vagina willingly bent to what he was doing, your walls clenching onto him repeatedly as he tried to be slow just to tease you.

He played with your ass cheeks and spread them, now lifting his mask slightly so he could spit once more.

Your body jolted as you felt the wet drip of spit followed by his thumb teasing the entrance of your tight hole.

"Fuck it's so pretty- every hole is going to be full- for now I'll just use my thumb though, I don't want to miss any second of your cunt pulling me in so snuggly..."

You whimpered throwing your head back. Simon's full bodyweight was now on top of you, keeping you in place as he rutted his hips into you. He groaned wrapping his arm around your throat, keeping you into a headlock as he grunted and groaned in your ear.

"Fuck such a naughty girl- I bet you enjoy every moment of this yeah? Such a slut..."

"I love it~ don't fucking stop- keep fucking me... choke me harder- ahhh uhhhh~ I feel like I'm gonna come.~" You moaned clenching your walls and squeezing your thighs together, making yourself feel tighter to him.

"Mhm~ keep taking me in so well baby- your really working for that creampie aren't you? My well behaved slut... you want my seed?"

"Uhuhhh~ yes- yes- yes- yes~nghh...YES! I want it- I want every fucking drop.~" You begged with tears building up in your eyes.

"Awe you're crying? It feels that fucking good doesn't it baby?" He asked holding your jaw tightly with his hand.

You nodded letting the tears fall as you slammed your hands on the concrete needing a different way to let go of all of the pleasure you were receiving.

With each thrust your clit grinded against the cold floor. You moaned rolling your eyes to the back of your head whimpering louder.

"You're such a good little whore for me baby~ where do you want it princess? I'm gonna fucking come.-"

"Do it anywhere- aghhh I'm gonna come too- please can we finish together~?" You asked attempting to hold your moans back.

Simon pulled out of you briefly and sat down, pulling you up from the ground throwing you onto his lap like you were some sort of ragdoll. He positioned your hips over his erection and forced you down. Hissing at the feeling of your walls at a different angle.

You wrapped your arms around his neck moaning in his ear and holding his head in your arms. Tears fully steaming down your face.

"Fuck~ just like that- haaahh~ YES YES AGHHH.~"

"You belong to me- your my fucking slut- next time we do this~ FUCK- I'll mark you to fucking prove it.~"

"Uhhhhh uhh mmm okay!~ don't stop using me- I'm yours- I belong to you- I'm your object.~"

Simon pulled his mask up halfway and kissed your neck forcfully making bites to break your skin. You moaned throwing your head back and placed your hands on his knees, now bouncing up and down on his cock.

"Awe you belong to me baby? Even when you have a husband? Some wife you are- Aghh shit- here it comes baby- you ready to feel my load inside you again?"

You nodded not having the compacity to respond out loud. You grinded your hips back and fourth feeling his cock head penetrate deep within you. You moaned throwing your head back feeling the knot burst I'm your stomach, your nipples tingling feeling the nonstop pleasure rushing through every inch of your body.

Simon moaned loudly and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you close and sucked on your nipples as he felt his balls also tingle as he emptied his thick load into you.

You whimpered feeling his tongue around your nipple and moaned loudly feeling the excitement from your high slowly drip out of you.

"Hahh~ Haahh~ fuck... you feel so good~ I don't want to pull out yet..."

"You don't have to- my pussy is practically in love with how your fat cock feels.~"

[sakuraoora]

hello!! I'm new to Tumblr in general, so I apologize if I say anything wrong or are kinda awkward😭 could you do the anemo Boys with an s/o who faints a lot due to a medical condition? Sorry if that sounds weird, I have pots 😞 again I'm so sorry if i said anything wrong or if it was awkward!!<3

of course anon!! don't feel bad. i'm honored that you chose to interact with me! i didn't include aether because i consider him to be this other catagory though i mean we know he'll probably be able to use all of the elements in the future

WARNINGS. reader passing out, fluff, worried anemo boys

SHIPS. kazuha, scaramouche/wanderer, venti, xiao, heizou x reader (seperate)

ANEMO BOYS WITH A S/O THAT FAINTS A LOT

Kazuha.

You were climbing a mountain to Kazuha’s favorite location with him, when you blacked out. Regular black outs were nothing to be scared of for you, because they came with a medical condition you had. In addition to black outs, you also had low stamina.

You awoke suddenly to your boyfriend sleeping next to you, his arms acting as a pillow as he slept beside you. You smiled down at him, and shifted yourself to be facing his sleeping form, accidentally waking him up.

“Oh goodness…” he groggily said, his voice deeper due to just waking up. “It happened again… you’re lucky we weren’t climbing the steep portion yet or you would’ve been dead,” Kazuha said, his melodic voice relaxing you. “I think overexertion was the cause this time… hah, I should be more careful next time.”

You laughed and cupped his face in your hands, your foreheads meeting. “It’s fine. You did the right thing, bringing me back. How long have I been knocked out for?”

Kazuha grumbled,  his warm hands cupping your cheeks as well. “Roughly half a day. You scared me, you know.”

“Half a day… a new record. Last time it was only an hour or so.”

“That isn’t an accomplishment to be proud of, dove.” Kazuha replied, his brows creasing as he gently pushed you away. “I know your cognition isn’t something life threatening, but what if you go to sleep and don’t wake up?”

“I know. I’m sorry for worrying you so much,” you replied, leaning your head back to stare at the ceiling, your arms supporting your sitting body.

“As long as I’m here… you don’t need to worry about a thing, dove.”

Venti

You might’ve been knocked out and fainted often due to your medical condition, but Venti would unintentionally take names that were several hours long. After all, the anemo archon had slept for hundreds of years in the past, leaving Mondstadt to do whatever the city pleased.

It might have escaped your mind to tell Venti that you were going to try to climb the windrise tree… so when you reached a stable branch, you were glad you accomplished the climb before passing out on the branch, slipping into unconsciousness as the gentle wind you fell in love with slowly brushed across your face, the rustling of leaves the only noise you could hear other than your own breathing.

Venti frantically looked for you. You had been gone for hours, and basically disappeared. He called upon the wind spirits, and he heard the sound of your breathing somewhere nearby one of his statues. He rushed over, and found where you were, perched on a tree comfortably, passed out.

He took a deep sigh, and giggled. “My windblume really thought it would be a stupendous great idea to climb that tree, hm? Well, I didn’t fall in love with them because they were easy to handle.”

Venti floated up and rested beside you, and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, gently kissing your forehead, took you into his arms and fell asleep beside you, cuddling you.

“I love you, windblume.”

Scaramouche // Wanderer.

Naturally, being your boyfriend and realizing you have a condition which makes you tired made him overprotective. He’d gone through so much, he always looked at you with warmth and concern.

But he’d floated away as he consumed his creator’s gnosis and lost all of his memories. He was constantly with Nahida, but she let you see him. And although he didn’t remember almost anything about his past, Scaramouche could only remember warm and comforting feelings when he was with you, as well as a bit of nervousness. He didn’t remember your condition.

He still remembered you with love, though, and you still were together.

So when you fainted in the middle of the street, he was filled with pure terror.

Everyone in Sumeru city stared as the false god they all worked to defeat with no memories of his past crimes gently picked you up and rushed you to a doctor.

4 hours.

He waited for 4, nervous hours filled with terror even as you lay passed out on the doctor’s bed. He rested his hand gently on yours. Did you even realize how much his heart throbbed as you lay unconscious?

So when you finally woke up, rubbing your eyes groggily as you sat up, Scaramouche grabbed your shoulders, head collapsing as he broke down into a chorus of sobbing.

You told him of your condition, and he wiped his teary eyes, and reprimanded you. “Don’t you dare ever do that again. My heart can’t take it.”

Xiao.

Xiao almost never slept. He hadn’t slept since his Yaksha friends died. And honestly? When Xiao visited you in the middle of the night, he admired your calm, peaceful sleeping face, illuminated by the silver glow of the moonlight. Whenever he neared you, he could feel the karmic debt lessening, and that was enough for him.

He heard of your condition already from you, and made you promise that you’d always call his name whenever you felt like you would pass out, or if you ever felt like you were in danger.

You were walking through a field of unbloomed glaze lilies, and you began to hum softly, triggering the glaze lilies to bloom. You heard a mitachurl with his group of hilichurls come close, and you drew your weapon, ready to fight.

You’d say, all in all, it was going pretty well. Until, of course, you drained too much energy and was about to pass out as the mitachurl swung his ax at you. So you softly called out his name, and the last thing you saw was Xiao appearing in a flash of anemo energy and anemo butterflies.

Xiao really didn’t see the need for you to strain yourself so much. The mitachurl was near death, and he saw the spoils of hilichurls surrounding the place with open glaze lilies that brought him back to a time when a certain mother-like figure used to sit amongst the delicate glaze lilies and hum a small lullaby that helped him drift him to sleep.

Now, as he carried your unconscious body to Wangshu Inn, he hummed that same tune that he loved so much for you.

Wherever and whenever you call my name, I’ll be here. Xiao silently vowed, slowly placing your unconscious body into your bed, tucking you in.

Heizou.

The number one Tenryou Commission detective was down bad for you. That was a known fact. Another known fact is that he spent way too much time solving insignificant cases dealing with dogs and had WAY too little time for his loved ones than he would’ve wanted.

His favorite guilty pastime? When you fainted and he could watch as you slowly woke up, with a familiar cocky smile plastered on his face as he asked for praise for getting you back safely and sticking by your side. And you always delivered.

But when you blackout when he wasn’t there… well, he panicked. Think, REALLY, REALLY panicked. The moment Kujou Sara walked in and said that you were found unconscious on the street. Whatever cases he had on hand were immediately discarded as he sprinted on to your shared home, where you were, resting.

Don’t expect to wake up to his usual damned smirk, but to eyes rimmed with eyebags from crying and sleep deprivation, petty anger welling as he starts telling you that you should never faint again without him nearby (he’s not really mad at you. He’s mostly mad at himself, because Heizou can’t bring himself to be mad at you for more than two minutes at a time).

“I know you were worried, Heizou.”

“Shut up and don’t do it again you big idiot.”

REBLOGS HELP MORE THAN LIKES!

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman - Part 5

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternate Universe : Military School

Words : 5k

Masterlist

———————————————————————


Friday, October 16; 1:00 PM - Ona and Alexia's Room

The only good thing that can't be criticized about this camp is the school schedule. They know how to accommodate people living far away like me. Our classes are scheduled so that we have Friday afternoons off to enjoy a longer weekend. Unfortunately, this hasn't been useful for me yet. It's been two consecutive weeks that I've been stuck here, feeling depressed as I watch Alexia pack her bags. I'll be left alone again, facing solitude and boredom.

"You still don't have permission?" she asks.

"Still not."

"I'm sorry to leave you alone."

"It's not your fault," I say, smiling softly. "I envy you a lot."

"Oh, there's not much to envy," she laughs.

I smile sadly, remembering her recent revelations. Alexia is so sociable that it's impossible not to become attached to her. She's an amazing and incredibly strong girl. She's the only one who had the courage to explain to me why she's here. Despite her joyful demeanor, her childhood was disastrous. I learned that she has no memories of her father. He left the house, leaving behind a woman, a girl boy, and a baby. Her mother quickly faced a nightmare with financial problems. Alba, who I found out is a year older than us, did anything she could to save Alexia and herself during their childhood. They're here because Alba got caught by the law a few years ago. Camp Wiegman was a proposal that came out of the judgment after her lifestyle was described. It offered her both a way out and a second chance, with a clean criminal record as a bonus. Alexia, who didn't want to be separated from her sister, had the opportunity to follow her here to escape their unstable environment. At first, I thought it was crazy, but after thinking about it, I envy her. She has a bond with her sister that I'll never know . It's a very strong connection. Alexia is a role model for any young person in trouble. Since she's been here, she uses her abundant energy for good. She's serious, studious, and doesn't break any rules. She could have fallen apart like I did after her parents abandoned her, but she decided to fight and remain who she is. Maybe Alba has something to do with it. I've noticed that she's protective of her.

"My mother contacted me."

"What?"

I don't hide my surprise. She sighs and sits on the edge of my bed, looking completely lost.

"Sorry, you're the first person I'm telling, but I need to get it out. Does it bother you if I talk about it?"

"No, of course not," I quickly reply. "How did she manage to contact you?"

"She went through Wiegman. She passed the phone to me about three weeks ago, I think..."

"She wants to see you again?"

"Yeah..."

I pull my knees up to rest my head on them. She takes the opportunity to lie back. She seems to be thinking deeply.

"What would you do in my place?" she asks.

"I'm not on good terms with my mother, so I couldn't tell you..."

"The thing is, Alba might not like it."

"Did you tell her about it?"

"Are you crazy? She would tell me to forget about it right away!"

"That's understandable."

"She's still my mother. No matter how much she screwed up, she's gotten her life together. She just got out of rehab."

"All the more reason," I murmur.

"Why?"

I shrug, looking out the window. I'm the best person to know that every ex-junkie is likely to relapse at the first opportunity. If Bronze hadn't been there on Monday, I would have rushed straight to the dealer without thinking about the consequences. I remain puzzled by her attitude. She managed my panic attack, which was spreading throughout my body, as if she had already experienced it. Maybe she has, given the environment we're in. A dull noise from the door interrupts us. We expected Alba to come in, but it's my supervisor. Alexia sits up immediately, while a smile stretches across my lips when I see what she's bringing me.

"You're giving them back to me?" I ask excitedly.

"That was our deal, wasn't it? I can keep them if you prefer."

"No, no, no!" I say, reaching out my arms.

"Tut tut, don't be impatient," she responds, making me lower my arms and lose my smile.

"No nonsense this weekend, or I'll take everything back. Okay?"

I nod vigorously. I remember this punishment well enough not to risk having my devices confiscated again. It's the first time it's happened to me, and it was very hard to endure.

"I didn't think you would keep the deal after what happened on Monday..." I murmur.

That day was intense with emotions. Bronze made sure I organized the meeting by her side. However, the following days were another story. She continued to punish me for my behavior. I accepted without complaint, thinking I would have faced more trouble if she had caught me with the illicit product in hand.

"A deal is a deal. You've paid your debt for the rest. I keep my word, so do the same from now on."

"Promise! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I say, quickly grabbing my things.

"Well, I'm leaving. Since you're alone tonight, we can have dinner together if you want."

"You're not going home this weekend?"

"I'm staying until dinner, so we can eat together if you don't want to be alone."

"OK, why not," I accept.

I didn't know it was possible to eat with our instructors, but I gladly accept. Eating alone is boring, and I don't want to join another table. Even eating facing a wall would be more entertaining than eating without company. She smiles at me and tells me she'll come get me before leaving and wishing Ale a good weekend.

"I thought you hated her?"

"I still hate her."

"That's not the impression you give," she giggles. "Besides, the commander asking to eat with a student is unheard of!"

"We just talked at length on Monday night," I confess.

"Oh really?" she raises an eyebrow. "You, talking with her?"

"Yeah... Let's say she kind of forced me after I crossed several lines..."

She nods, understanding that I don't want to elaborate. I remember our discussion during the meeting preparations perfectly. She waited for the tension to dissipate before asking me questions. The first question was if I smoked. At first, I thought she was talking about joints given recent events, so I answered that I had stopped that stuff a year ago. However, she clarified that she was talking about cigarettes. The answer remained the same since I quit everything when I went to rehab. It's a detail I didn't share, not wanting to reveal that much. She then tried to talk about what happened at the supermarket, but I shut down. She promised not to say anything to Wiegman but that I would still be punished. She then continued, saying that it didn't amuse her to punish me for every little thing. She understands that I have my past, but that she can't do anything about it. That's when I understood what she meant when she said she wasn't against me. I felt that she cared, probably just as she does for all the students under her care. What no one understands is that I don't want to be helped. I was so exhausted that I just promised her to calm down. That was true this week when she exhausted me with punishments. She made me do an extra round in the dining hall after my evening meals because of my incident at the supermarket. It was probably a warning because I deserved worse for getting caught red-handed.

"Well, at least I won't eat alone tonight."

"Isn't Leah staying too? I think she didn't get her pass either."

"Really? I wasn't aware."

"I think so, yes. She mentioned it to Alba, I believe."

"That would be nice! It's really awful without anyone on the weekends."

"She'll be alone at the table then."

"No way! I'll ask Bronze if she can stay with us. Otherwise, are you going to be okay this weekend? With what you just told me."

"Yes, don't worry," she smiles.

"You can come talk to me if you need to."

Someone knocks on the door again. This time we know it's Alba because she waits for our permission before entering. It's time for their departure. I turn on my Mac while Alexia goes to change in the bathroom.

"Hey Ona," she greets me.

"We've seen each other at least three times since this morning, Alba."

"Yeah, well, um..."

I look up, sensing her awkwardness. I didn't know I had this effect on her. Was my tone too cold? I didn't pay attention. I glance at Alexia who comes out of the bathroom giggling. I smile, seeing her in her normal clothes. It's strange to see her dressed like this.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing, nothing," she replies cheerfully.

I furrow my brow, not understanding what's going on with the Putellas sisters . She'll probably tell me when her sisters isn't around, given how she's acting.

"Are you staying here this weekend, Ona?" Alba asks.

"Yeah, isn't it obvious?"

"Yes, yes! It was just..." she cuts herself off, meeting my eyes. "A question."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, yes!"

I raise an eyebrow. She's really weird. Do I intimidate her or what? I shake my head to get rid of that thought. I'm not an intimidating person. My mother or Bronze are. Alba can be too. She would have continued her antics with Leah and me if Ale weren't around. I put down my Mac when the latter approaches me for a hug. I don't like physical contact, but she caught me so off guard these past two weeks that I've gotten used to it. She's the type to jump on me and say "I've got a scoop!" only to announce that two people I don't know are dating. I've never understood her excitement for this kind of news, but oh well.

"My sister likes you," she whispers in my ear.

I freeze in her arms. Oh my God! Alexia kisses my cheek while I stare at Alba who, luckily for me, is looking at her watch instead of seeing my reaction.

"Ale, our taxi won't wait forever."

"Alright, I'm ready," she says, grabbing her suitcase. "Have a good weekend, Ona. See you Monday."

"Have a good weekend, Putellas"

"Nothing better than a weekend in the countryside at the grandparents'," she giggles.

"Show some respect, Ale!"

I chuckle at the authority Alba tries to have. Since they've been here, their mother's custody was revoked. The only home they have outside this camp is at their grandparents', who are now their guardians. Alexia loves them but hates the place where they live. She calls it, I quote, "a place lost in the boonies." They live on a farm, and it seems the reputation is not based on stereotypes. I sit back on my bed once the door closes and let out a sigh I've been holding until now.

"Just what I needed..."

I sincerely hope Alba loses her libido for me. I like her , but I don't feel ready to get back into a relationship at the moment. Besides, long-distance relationships aren't my thing. I plan to return to Barcelona once I get out of here. I understand better some of her actions, like inserting herself into my conversations with others. She was seeking my attention. I will need to set things straight if she continues. I don't want to give her false hope. The silence in the room weighs on my mind. Yet, I love being alone. Even more so since I've been here, as these moments have become rare. I stare at my computer, remembering that I had promised to call my little brother this afternoon. I should do it now, but I think a nap is necessary first. I decide to turn on my phone before that. A small smile appears when I see my notifications bombarded with messages from Mapi. I can already hear her laugh when I tell her the reason for my silence. I read a few messages before simply replying to let her know I'm alive. However, I don't have the patience to wait for her response. I put my phone on silent and drop everything on the floor.

Friday, October 16; 5:30 PM - Ona and Alexia's room.

I sink into my pillow when a little melody wakes me up. I was grumpy at first, but the reasons for my wake-up call quickly come back to me. I regret falling asleep on top of the comforter as a chill runs through me. At least I won't have to make my bed perfectly before Bronze returns. I get up for a moment to grab my uniform jacket and my Mac. The nice thing about this computer is that I can sync it with all my phone data. I open the FaceTime app where I find all my contacts. I call Samuel's number. Joan should still be up at the start of the weekend. I see my face on the screen until he picks up. It takes three rings before he does. Seeing him on the screen instead of in my head brings tears to my eyes. It's been two long weeks since I was cut off from them. It feels like an eternity since I was last home. His wide smile makes me smile. I smile even more when I see Sofia my governess coming up behind him.

"Hey, beautiful," he says. "It was about time you gave us some news! We thought you were dead! Ouch, stop that!"

I laugh when Sofia hits him on the arm. I've really missed this sight! Sofia has always been very protective, especially when Sam teases me like now.

"Hi, everyone," I reply, smiling.

« Ona ! It's so good to finally see your face! I'll go get Joan, he'll be happy to see you!" says Sofia. "He's been asking about you all week. It was getting hard to calm him down!"

I laugh even more. This little one seems to be giving them as much trouble as I used to. She leaves, and I take the opportunity to talk to Sam. I miss our morning and evening chats during my meals in the kitchen. We mostly talk about school, where my answers are short. He understands it's not my favorite topic. He switches to his puns and ridiculous jokes. They're still never funny, but I've missed them so much that I laugh heartily. He's interrupted by a hurricane named Joan who violently pushes him off his chair. My surprise quickly turns into laughter mixed with tears at the scene. I hate appearing weak in front of him, but I've missed him so much!

"Onii!!!" he shouts from the other side.

"Hi, sweetheart! How are you?"

"Much better now! Is it nice where you are? Why didn't you call earlier?"

"Sorry, let's say I had some problems last week that prevented me from doing so sooner," I say with a smile, recalling my punishment. "Otherwise, it's okay, I'm starting to get used to it."

"Is that a military jacket you're wearing? Have you made any friends?"

I've missed his many questions too. To think that two weeks ago, I was fed up with them. Now I'm happy to hear him so much.

"Yes, it's a military jacket. Look, it even has my name on it."

I show him through the camera the patch slightly above my chest. All students have their names on the uniform to be quickly recognized by the instructors.

"I'll lend it to you if you want," I say, which delights him to no end. "Otherwise, I have a pretty cool roommate. You'd love him. A real little crazy, like you."

"Hey! I'm not crazy! Why are you crying, Ona?"

I smile at his pouty face. I quickly wipe away the tears that I couldn't hold back. Seeing them is exactly what I needed after these catastrophic two weeks.

"I'm not crying. Just got a speck of dust in my eye."

"Do you want to talk to Mom?" he offers.

"No, it's okay, thanks. I'd rather see your little face!"

"Hey, are you coming back to Barcelona next weekend?! It's your birthday on Saturday!"

A throat clearing pulls me out of my bubble. I hadn't even heard Bronze arrive. She stands by the door. I hope she just got here. I could do without her seeing me like this. I straighten up from the wall I was slouched against and look back at the screen where my brother is calling me.

« Oni ?"

"Sorry, sweetheart. I have to go, someone is waiting for me," I tell him reluctantly. "And about your question, I'm not sure if I can come back."

"But why?! It's been two weeks since you left! I had a surprise prepared for you!"

"I'm really sorry," I say, pained. "I'll do my best to come back, I promise. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

"You promise you'll call me tomorrow?"

"Yes, I promise. Then we'll spend a whole day just the two of us when I come back."

"Yessss!"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Ona!"

"Wait," Samuel comes back on the screen. "Wait, huh? I thought you didn't want a relationship? At least, I'm repeating your words! Do you have someone there? Who’s the lucky girl ?

My mouth drops open before my cheeks flush, remembering Bronze's presence. Damn it! This was really not the time for him to tease me! He'll regret it when he's in front of me!

"Wh- What? Sam, you're such an idiot!" I scold, covering my red face with my hand.

"Batlle."

Bronze is still waiting, now with her arms crossed. I can almost detect a hint of amusement on her face. I blush even more. How embarrassing! I shake my head to compose myself as I hear Sam laughing now. He must have heard my supervisor.

"I have to go, we'll talk about it later!" I say threateningly. "Bye."

I quickly hang up and close my computer, putting it in my locker before turning to Bronze, who has a small smile on her lips. I’m so embarrassed she heard Sam’s hint about my sexuality.

"Who would have thought the little Princess has a heart," she comments.

"Shut up. You don't know me."

"Don't talk to me like that again," she frowns.

"Sorry..."

"Hmm. Let's go eat."

"By the way... Speaking of that..."

"What? Have you changed your mind?"

"No, no! Just that I learned Leah stayed too... Can we eat with her ?"

"Oh, yes if you want."

I'm relieved to know Leah won't be alone because of me. We walk to the cafeteria in silence, without her bringing up anything Samuel said. It allows me to think about Joan's words. I realize I completely forgot my birthday. Who forgets their own birthday? I must really have my head elsewhere to forget that detail.

"Was that your little brother?" she breaks the silence.

"Hmm?"

"Your call."

"Oh, yeah."

"Is he the little one in the photo on your nightstand?"

I'm surprised she noticed my picture frame. It's the only personal thing I have in my room.

"Yes, it's him."

"And the other girl?"

The only thing, along with a second frame with a photo of Mapi and me.

"My best friend. Anything else?"

"No. You just seem to care a lot about them."

"I do. They're the two people I care about the most, along with those I was on the phone with," I admit.

She nods without insisting. I've always been defensive when it comes to talking about myself. The fact that she might have understood I'm a lesbian doesn't please me. Few people know. I sincerely hope she misunderstood or didn't pay attention. We arrive at the cafeteria, which is sparsely populated. Many have gone home this week. We serve ourselves and join Leah, who is already eating at our table. She isn't surprised to see me, but it's another story when he sees Bronze sitting across from me.

"Hey. I didn't know if you were staying or not," Leah admits.

"She can leave when she stops getting punishments for a week," Bronze replies for me.

"Seriously?" I blurt out.

"Of course. I'll approve your leave if that's the case... Well, Wiegman gives the final authorization, but I also have a say."

"Ugh, I'll never go home then..."

My reaction makes Leah laugh and Bronze smile. This camp has no mercy. I'll never be able to do it! I turn my head toward the cafeteria. I notice that many are watching us. Ale is probably right in saying that Bronze has never eaten with students. Rumors will spread again. They will be to Bronze's detriment since everyone thinks she can't make me capitulate. If only they knew the truth. Even though I talk back or continue my antics, she's no less intimidating and frightening when I have to face the consequences. We talked about the rumors during our Monday night discussion. She's aware, but she doesn't seem to care. I find our relationship strange. I hate and admire her at the same time. I watch her out of the corner of my eye. Only the sound of cutlery echoes since my response. A smile comes to me when an idea crosses my mind.

"Hey, Bronze?"

"Yes?"

"Is there any way we can go out this weekend?"

"No."

My smile disappears at her answer, which leaves no room for negotiation. Leah holds back her laughter. I'm not giving up yet. After all, I'm Ona Batlle. I'm known for standing up to her - even if her refusal proves otherwise.

"Is there really no way?" I insist.

"None," Leah answers herself. "What do you think? If we don't have permission, it's not to go relax downtown."

Bronze smiles at my sulky expression. This camp is definitely a detestable prison. Thankfully, there's Alexia; otherwise, I'd spend my days depressed and crying every night like I did in the first few days. She helped me get my bearings, just like Bronze, who decided to keep a constant watch on me. I've come to terms with the fact that Bronze won't let me leave here until the end of the year. So, I have no choice but to get used to the environment to avoid going completely crazy by the end.

"Indeed, by keeping you here, it's a form of punishment. Besides, the camp is several kilometers from downtown, and there's no transport line from here," Bronze informs me.

"You could take us there."

"No. You're not allowed out, and I'm leaving after this meal."

"Why did you stay to eat if you're leaving?"

"I was supposed to leave tomorrow morning, but my schedule changed this afternoon. I stayed because I told you we'd eat together."

"At least you can go out," I grumble.

"It's not her fault we're not allowed to leave," Leah tells me.

"I have an idea!" I say, grinning.

"Oh no, I'm scared..."

"Go ahead, ask," Bronze encourages me.

"You could drop us off downtown when you leave. We'll spend the evening there and come back by taxi!"

Both of them mock me. Bronze's laughter stays with me. It's the first time I've heard her laugh, and it's very... strange! She's usually so serious. My idea doesn't seem as brilliant as I thought.

"Forget it, Ona," says Leah. "Even if we managed to get out, there's no way to get back without going through 'reception.' It's a lost cause."

"Anyway, the discussion is over since I'm not taking you out of here."

"Don't tell me you've never broken the rules?" I tease.

"Bronze is too attached to the rules to break them," Leah replies, to which Bronze agrees.

"Don't mess with me," I laugh. "Don't try to make me believe that!"

"Believe what?" she asks, tilting her head.

"That you were this model girl who never broke a single rule. I don't believe it!"

She raises an eyebrow for a moment, looking perplexed. Then she smiles as if she's collected her thoughts.

"Oh yeah? And how did you see me then?"

"Well, I don't know. Definitely not as this model girl."

"I totally see her like that," comments Leah.

Leah defending my supervisor, I've seen it all! Bronze's sly smile makes me realize she's different today. I wouldn't mind more moments like these.

"How do you see me? You must have an idea if you're saying that," she says, staring at me intently. "Tell me everything."

"Well, I don't know, I told you! A little rebel in a luxurious house? Maybe you were a terror in your old high school."

"No way!" Leah interjects.

Leah pushes while Bronze smiles sincerely. She continues to eat, leaving me in the dark. She has an Audi, and I don't think her instructor's salary is that high.

"Am I getting warmer?"

"Who knows," she shrugs.

"Tsss. Well, I'll stick with the little rebel girl then..." I say, making her chuckle.

"Really? You think that about me?"

"Hmmm... Yep!"

"The only rebel at this table is you. Finish your meal instead of trying to define me."

"You'll never answer me, will you?"

"No."

"You suck."

"So do you."

"Me too? Is an educator allowed to say that to a student?"

"I allow myself all the rights with you, you should know that."

"Even to insult me?"

"You do it well, so I allow myself to do the same."

"You make a good point."

"I know."

I smile as I bring my fork to my mouth. I don't regret accepting this meal. I'm discovering a different side to her usual coldness. Her kindness is slowly breaking the ice between us. I regret taking it out on her in the first few days. I was only lashing out because I couldn't do it to my mother and her position made her my only authority here. They have nothing in common, though. I feel a special bond beginning to form between Bronze and me. She has an influence over me that no one else does. Not even the other educators, except maybe Engen. The legend describing her as the worst instructor is true. Knowing I wouldn't obey them, her colleagues always direct me to her, with the excuse that it's not their job to handle me. They just don't want to risk a scandal they would surely lose. That's something I would never dare do with Bronze. The times I've dared to stand up to her, I've regretted it the second after. I'm bound to her whether I like it or not. It kills me to admit it, but I'm starting to enjoy this situation... It's been a long time since anyone took care of me like she does. I even find myself having funny moments, even if the consequences are always less so.

"We can't go out this weekend then?"

"You're still on about that?" Leah giggles.

"Stop always wanting more, Ona. I said no, and no means no," Bronze tells me.

"But we'll be bored here," I sigh.

"Do you want me to keep you busy? I can surely find plenty of things for you to do before I leave."

I give her a dark look, which seems to amuse her.

"Ha, ha, ha!" I laugh falsely. "Seriously! You may tire me out every day, but it's boring to go to bed at ten every night."

"You're not alone this weekend. Keep yourselves busy. I don't know, watch movies or read a book. You have access to the common room."

"That's just as boring. There's too many people to watch what we want," Leah cuts in.

"Nonsense. There's hardly anyone there. There are only about twenty of you here. There are usually over three hundred of you."

"That's still too many to get what we want," Leah adds, making Bronze sigh desperately.

"I can't do anything for you. I'm not staying here this weekend."

"We'll manage, as usual," I reply, disappointed.

"All I can do is lend you books or put a couple of movies on a USB stick. You have a computer, Ona; you can watch them on that if you don't have a TV downstairs."

"I already have a hard drive full of movies..."

"Well then! You know what to do."

"Hmm..."

"Stop sulking. I can't do more. Plus, I have to leave soon."

"Are you expected somewhere?"

"She has a life outside of work, Ona."

"Exactly, Williamson," she smiles. "And I realize I have to leave now. I wish you a good weekend, and remember that two days can go by quickly."

"Hmm... Have a good weekend too," I grumble.

"Stop sulking. You should be happy not to have me on your back for two days. By the way, let's agree. No nonsense this time, okay?"

"No," Leah responds immediately. "I want to have my next weekend."

"Same for me."

"Good," she smiles. "See you on Monday then."

"See you on Monday," Leah and I reply.

I watch her walk away with her tray, not turning around once. I think after this meal, her presence this weekend wouldn't have bothered me. Too bad she has other plans.

"Bronze is still cool," says Leah.

"Yeah, it depends on the moments."

"She ate with us and offered us movies. I think that's nice of her; she didn't have to."

"That's true," I sigh. "She's made things so hard for me lately, yet I see a completely different side of her now. I didn't even know she could laugh!"

"She's just doing her job during her hours, that's all."

"I was thinking the same thing... She must be so different outside the camp."

I don't know how she puts up with me. I would have a hard time doing it myself. I need to stop projecting all my resentment onto her. She bears the brunt of my mood and character, even though she has nothing to do with how I feel inside. This meal made me realize a lot of things. It woke me up and showed me Bronze's true face. She's nothing like the person I thought she was. It's time I made some new efforts.

"Well, after all, Bronze isn't wrong. Two days is nothing. Should we watch a movie tonight?"

I need to look at things positively. I'm not alone this weekend. Leah is with me, and I like her a lot. She's the second person I've gotten closest to here thanks to our shared punishment. She pretends to only care about her own interests, but I know that's not true. She was ready to take the blame for our water fight if Bronze had scolded us. We're very similar deep down, and that's why I appreciate her. I agree with her idea, which motivates us to leave the dining hall in a good mood.