#I don't recommend trying to listen to this all at once TBH there are so many high intensity parts and jarring transitions

[jane-john-doe-tournament]

Jane Doe (Ride the Cyclone) Propaganda:

Great singing, also she’s literally wearing a doll‘s head bc she lost hers

do they have their soul or is it rotting somewhere with their head?

BALLAD OF JANE DOE IS SO SAD AND SHE IS GREAT AND I ONLY WATCH RTC ONCE BUT SHES NY FAVE OK

cool asf

She forgets her name after her death and has no story told in the production

She's so sweet and deserves the world. Her song (The Ballad of Jane Doe) is great.

the song goes so hard just listen to her song guys please

she literally died and her head was cut off so nobody could tell who she was PLEASE let her take one (1) W

BECAUSE SHE IS AMAZING. First she already won the tournament in the musical to regain life, as she won them over with her sad wet cat energy because she did not have a head and feared that she lost her soul. Second, she died on a roller coaster and lost her head, but stole her doll's head and thats very gender. Third, throughout the musical she is used as a vessel for religious allegory, she is an angel, she is jesus, she is a demon, she is forsaken but she is purity itself. Fourthly, she is is given the identity of Savannah with the greenest eyes after the other characters who died with her hold her a birthday party, and I think thats sweet because its probably some kind of meaning I cant see but auughfhfhh shes so cool

i mean her name isn't TECHNICALLY jane doe but we refer to her as such. she's so silly!! autism powers! i don't have a lot of propaganda tbh. i would've just been surprised had she NOT been submitted

She lost her head literally when the rollercoaster derailed. She wasn't able to be identified apart from the school uniform she was wearing.

Her name is forgotten, and so is everything about her. So she’s called Jane Doe. She’s very sweet and very creepy, but she doesn’t mean it

and im asking WHYYYYY LORRRRRDDD

I LOVE HER! she died in a roller coaster accident and was decapitated, her body not being found. in the show, her head is actually just her doll’s head. the coroners couldn’t identify her, so she was dubbed a jane doe. in the game to be alive again, she ends up being voted, her name being revealed to be penny lamb. anyways she’s a little creepy and also quite silly and she does her funny little waddle like a porcelain doll (or corpse).

She deserves it! She lost her head she shouldn't lose this too.

Not convinced you didn’t start this tournament just for her tbh

They have a great song and a true air of mystery to them. They also have arguably the best song in the musical, The Ballad of Jane Doe! I would definitely recommend listening to it >:)

—She LOST her HEAD and had it replaced with a PORCELAIN DOLL —In all seriousness her story is really poignant. No one could identify her body so she arrives in the afterlife not knowing her identity and she spends the show vacillating between depressed and angry at her situation, leading to… —“The Ballad of Jane Doe”, specifically Emily Rohm’s version, might be the most haunting solo in musical theatre history.

John Doe (Malevolent) Propaganda:

Spooky gay eldritch disaster (am I doing this right?)

Could have chosen any name for himself and picked John because a kind person called him that :)

fractured piece of an eldritch god that shares a body with a private eye after being fractured. chooses the name John Doe after said private eye goes into a coma

Because he’s an eldritch god who wants to feel human and who overcame a lot of obstacles and dangers!!! He sincerely cares about the main character!!! And he chose a name himself! Isn’t he cute??? He lost his body, he almost lost his memory, he fought for his right to exist, he loves animals, he loves his friend Arthur and I love him!

Being an ass, friendship, spooky supernatural stuff, he’s got it all

My man heard the name John Doe, realized he didn’t actually have a name, and just. Took it for himself.

I LOVE HIM. MY SON. HE’S TRYING TO CHANGE AND BE BETTER AND :(((( He’s a fragment of the soul of the King in Yellow (god of trickery and suffering iirc??) that gets trapped in a book in our realm while the rest of the King stayed in his own separate realm. When a human named Arthur Lester opens the book they get linked and John gains control of Arthur’s eyes & kills his partner (oops!). They proceed to go on a quest to find a way of separating them because neither likes the situation, and at first John (or The Entity, which is what he’s called at first) just wants to trick and use Arthur, and control his entire body (through the first season he also gets a hand & a foot) even though he doesn’t remember being The King In Yellow at the time, but Arthur makes him change and become more human. His turning point is when Arthur is shot and falls into a coma for a month. They get treated at a hospital and while John waits for Arthur to wake up so they can carry on, the body itself still gets taken care of. The time John spends alone, contemplating on humanity & everything he’s seeing and learning from Arthur, as well as the way a certain nurse speaks to him every day (specifically, she greets him good morning and good night, despite the body being unresponsive, John still hears because he is an entity linked to the body) and calls him John (they didn’t have ID on when they were found so they were classified as John Doe), changes his outlook and plans for good, and he asks Arthur to call him John; from this point on he admits he cares for Arthur, looks for his wellbeing too, and in general attempts to be a better person and to live for himself. The rest of the podcast (ongoing!!) explores Arthur & John’s relationship, struggle to survive, adventures in the eldritch… All while tackling each of their issues with themselves and each other and watching them both grow. John in specific learns to be the person he wants to be, how sometimes you’ll take a step forward and two backwards; he can be cruel and manipulative sometimes but he still tries. Personally I love his journey, it’s very realistic and you can see he is trying his best, and how he wants to be better than he was as the King In Yellow, and how much Arthur has changed him and how much he cares about him because of that; and how he’s slowly growing into being his own person :) if it ends badly ill cry so hard but!!! he’s John Doe because that’s the name he was being addressed as, and he’s made it his, and being John means he’s no longer the King and that he wants to be different, and John can fail or make mistakes but it’s part of who he is now, and that’s what matters. I am So Normal About Him

JOHN DOE (Malevolent) SWEEP

OH MY GOD JOHN DOE MY BELOVED 💛💛 (watch me just not clarify that would be so funny ahah) John doe (Malevolent) 💛💛💛 my silly He's so funny he makes Arthur bump his head into a dock because he didn't say duck in time and then laughs at him 💛💛

[thatanimewriter]

SLAVE TO THE BLADE.

➳ request: Team Rwby with a male S/O who is in a Kenpachi situation, he's a swordsman(samurai), mentally shackled himself from going all out because of how strong he is, wears an eyepatch to keep most of his aura from leaking out, loves to fight, wishes to fight a worthy opponent, bonus: Jaune studies under him as a student, please and thank you

➳ character/s: ruby rose, weiss schnee, blake belladonna, yang xiao long

➳ warnings: mentions of fighting, mention of food (weiss)

➳ notes: imma be real, i haven't gotten past the first few episodes of bleach since i was like, 12, so this description is what i'm going off of-

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 / 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭  / 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 / 𝐰𝐢𝐩 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

── 𝐑𝐔𝐁𝐘 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐄.

she probably met you through jaune lets' be real, cause dude loves to ramble about stuff n he's probably talked about you a few times

wanted to fight you so bad the first time she met you, but you wanted to see if she was worthy first so you don't waste time

has asked about the eyepatch before but never really got a clear answer, it was quite vague cause you didn't wanna get into it

didn't beat you in a fight, but she lasted longer than you thought she would, so you started being friends and eventually dating

if she ever needs scary dog privileges, you're the go to, just have your resting face and the full get up and you're set

grumpy x sunshine dynamic for sure, you're so cool and intimidating n then she's there

minus aura points for the combination, but maybe it could be bonus, cause you're just so confusing as to how this happened

probably a top tier combat duo though, y'all crazy on the battlefield for real

she appreciates all the silent ways you show you love her like covering the table corner when she bends down

paying attention to small things like that thing she mentioned months ago n suddenly VOILA, it's here

she returns the sentiments by doing some more grand gestures but she'll tone it down if you ask

── 𝐖𝐄𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐍𝐄𝐄.

girl probably found you weird as hell at the start, but got over it quickly considering the world you live in-

she can appreciate an aesthetic though, she likes the samurai thing but confused by the eyepatch

japanese pirate??? what's going on with you???

the absolute TRAINING REGIME you put her through when you start dating is insane, but winter probably approves to a degree

push the limits, especially considering weiss' semblance with glyphs and stuff

you probably also improve a bit if you experiment with dust in combat

stubborn meets stubborn though, strange arguments will arise for certain situations

like whether you can like, get jaune to go away for a moment because she wants time with you but he's training under you-

or where to eat if she wants one thing and you want another, but eventually you get what you want respectively n come back n share

quality time king, that's what you are in this relationship

she will try on your eyepatch at least once because she's curious, but she got very embarrassed when you caught her

── 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐀.

she thought you were a bit unrefined just for how much you want to fight people all the time

but she did want to try you out to see if she was a worthy opponent, so she fought you once

n that's how the 'i hate you' to lovers pipeline began for her-

training sessions are nice for you both, she enjoys being pushed further than usual but she's a lil bitter you have to go easy on her

will just listen very knowingly when jaune rambles about a training session with you

it's probably a moment of bonding for them tbh, they both relate to how difficult it is to fight you

a lot of quality time again, you might read a book that the other recommended and just read in silence together

you do a lot of stuff in silence together because it's just nice to hang and relax

people definitely understand how you guys got into a relationship, you vibe match, except you're just a bit more energetic than her

you also have somewhat similar insecurities about harming people you care about, so there's another level of understanding between you

don't tell anyone, but she likes a scratch behind her cat ears and she purrs, which you found out by accident-

── 𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐗𝐈𝐀𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆.

you met because she picked a fight with you ._.

you're both just as eager to fight people, so it was only a matter of time before she came and snuffed you out

you think she's very reckless, but you can teach her some tactics in the get-to-know-you phase

that was probably how she got to know you: the winner of each fight got to ask any question they wanted

was very mad when you admitted to letting her win a couple times because you're just so powerful

people avoid you in the halls because they don't wanna do a 1v2 against you guys

she's tried on your gear at least once, n tried to get you to wear hers but that was a hard no from you

her abilities and endurance has definitely improved because of you, but she just wants to be the better pupil vs jaune-

there's an unspoken competition between them that they think you don't know about but you do

you say jaune is better for lols and because you think her lil frowny face is cute

also because you feel a bit bad for jaune-

[revalition]

OCT 13 - SUGGESTION Charm men and women. Play the puppet-master.

snake suggestion my beloved. that will very likely not be the last of you see of him haha. making the most of my weird skill dreams

lots of great quotes under the quote! and valuable insights! (not actually valuable, but shh) would recommend looking through them more than usual though!

suggestion quotes! I had a complete disinterest in this guy tbh, I was rather distracted by the other, arguably better, purple skills in my high PSY playthrough and then I had super low PSY my second and barely heard from him. So it was a lot of fun finding these cause I hadn't seen lots of it yet!

fun suggestion facts from my spreadsheet as well

- he says 'please' to you one time and 'sorry' to you zero times! he might encourage you to do both plenty but is a reasonably unapologetic skill himself (though does resort to self-deprecation several times)

- he has a perfectly average swear score of 5 (I have everyone's swear scores! right now they're only based off of shit and fuck though. so there's room for improvement)

- Says "I" and "we" a perfectly even number of times (not counting quoting others) which I count to deduce if the skill is self centered or not lmao

- refers to kim as "kim" once and lieutenant 20 times! he is respectful of kim!

anyway!

absolutely no way these weren't going in here. confirmed the most useless, compromised skill of all!! (please fire him) also the only guy to give volition a nickname <333 but please dont ever talk about him like that again suggestion

failing this suggestion check over and over! suggestion noooo... resorting to begging at the end. *puh-leeeeeze* 😭

another gorgeous suggestion fail! what a guy

who let this stupid skill into harry's head?

not the two separated words 'bad ass' hghh. this isn't even the only time!!! he writes it as bad-ass *once*. and! he's the one who tells you not to make fun of garte for saying it as two words

suggestion's actually really observant! and has lots of insights into kim!

like he makes sure you know when you did something that lowered kim's opinion of you :) thanks buddy

this is extremely important. I can *hear* his voice cracking on the sorry cop when I read it.

I got called out for being a sorry cop *so* early into my first playthrough. and it was absolutely personal. and I was like wow, I hate this guy already, what's his problem? :)))

(the sorry cop dialogue didn't come up at all my second playthrough haha)

what better idea than to use the expression on evrart? two local idiots advising you :)

it's hilarious to me that succeeding this check against Klaasje at the beginning of the game results in suggestion just telling you not to do it. it's that bad of an idea. it could never succeed.

holding this suggestion failure very gently. I don't remember Suggestion being named Social Anxiety???

ty suggestion, you tell him

sad suggestion :( nooo sweetie you're not. well. maybe a little.

hghkj capitalist suggestion!!

that's what you get for not listening!!

not a screenshot cause I ran out of space but just shoving this in here

+2 Authority: Nothing to lose

+2 Suggestion: I always liked you the best

these are the research bonuses from finger on the eject button. who is he referring to?? :,( you as in harry? you as in authority? a more vague 'you'?

as always, I have to include the super sad dream quotes. poor guy. it's not your fault.

this is so funny. good try suggestion... good try

he's hilarious

look at my two idiots :) <3 look at them.

my delight upon getting this in my first (high PSY) playthrough! we got kim to wear the jacket!

small suggestion win

why does he talk like that??

why? why? shhhh

hating him. throwing suggestion at the wall.

this stupid skilllll

he's an idiot.

volition, with his head in his hands, every time suggestion opens his mouth

thought this was interesting. is suggestion able to infer things from shiver's visions? the way the skills interact with shivers fascinates me endlessly. especially since at one point one of them asks if you've asked the wind for advice before - can they not hear her?? I haven't dug into the shivers dialogue enough yet. next week...

he has so much insight into how to talk to people! gotta put at least one example of him being useful in here...

look at them. they are like oil and water. authority calls him a groveling sycophant so. deserved.

(also merriam webster defines a sycophant as "a servile self-seeking flatterer" and I love that.)

((and servile means "having or showing an excessive willingness to serve or please others" because I had to look that one up too))

is suggestion just a people pleaser under it all? :( why I gotta empathize with even the worst of these guys. echem too, there's *so* much good intention buried under layers and layers of bad coping mechanisms and personality issues and internalized misogyny and self doubt. And those things twist what could be really good advice on communicating and connecting with other people into something manipulative and ugly.

........

.............

(reluctantly picks him up and holds him gently) it's okay. you can heal too someday.

also! there are ZERO suggestion passive fails :( the only other skill with none is H/E coordination (who has like, a quarter the amount of passives sugg has). but it's okay, he gets lots of active fails to make up for it I guess.

that's it for suggestion. I went in here expecting to make a compilation of idiot suggestion quotes (and mostly did) and ended up being endeared by him instead. oops. that's the problem with all these guys, they're *so* strongly shaped by Harry's thoughts and feelings and experiences. Someone else's Suggestion skill might barely be slimy at all. would it still be named Suggestion then?

(mildly related but I don't have a Suggestion in my own system, at least afaik. Which isn't saying a lot because I thought there were only 6 skills in here a week and a half ago and that was. not at all right. so. but it only makes me wonder about him more!!)

[lowkeyrobin]

Hello! Could I please get a cricket crew (those who are okay with x reader Ofc) with a reader who’s really sad and just struggling mentally, and they end up comforting the reader? :)

yes of course!! tbh this is me atm lol (lh), thanks for the request!! hope you enjoy

HANDSOME BROS ; mental baggage

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, & badlinu

warnings ; language, talk about mental health and self harm

masterlist

[ here's a song I'm obsessed with atm that I listened to while making this ]

TOMMYINNIT

he sees right through you but he doesn't know how to bring it up

you end up having to like spam call him out of fear you might hurt yourself so he has the confirmation at least that he wasn't overthinking it

after that, he's a bit over the top with making sure you're okay and stuff but he genuinely cares and backs off if you need him too

he's wide open for hugs if you need them

he's not a perfect talker but he knows how to make you smile and he knows that he's built trust with you, and he'll spend hours just trying to get you to understand how much he loves you and that he'll always be here for you

he understands that you know he loves you, and you aren't gonna get better with that, but he knows deep down it helps you just a tiny bit to know that he cares and he'll spend an uncountable amount of hours telling you all that

he strikes me as a words of affirmation & quality time guy, so just enjoying your presence while you do things and loving you from far away is usual

like if you're just chilling in silence he'll occasionally look up at you to make sure you're alright

"You look great today, y/n/n, is that a new shirt?"

"are you djo? cause I'd love to listen to you- wait, no-"

"I need more cringey pickup lines, hold on.."

once he sees you obviously happier and healing, he just explodes like a firework

he's just happy cause you're even the slightest bit happier, he understands the lack of motivation and the deep bits and seeing you rise out of them is so inspiring to him

RANBOO

you're the one who instantly brought it up, you felt yourself sinking and knew you couldn't drown too far because you were worried you couldn't be helped this time

instantly just like hugs you and talks it out with you

he understands that your struggling and recommends taking a break and spending time on yourself and maybe talking to a therapist if you're comfortable with doing that, even offers to go with you

you do end up finding a therapist who can listen to you and try to help on top of ranboo

"Hey, have you eaten today? if not I'll order you some takeout"

"Oh my God, are those new pants? they look great on you!"

they found a glow squid plush at the store and immediately bought it for you, it had little glow in the dark bits on it as well. they smiled so wide seeing the way you smiled at them

frequently asks if they can do anything for you or if you need anything from them

they show you some new music to maybe get hooked on to maybe fixate you on something if you're lacking a fixation and feel a little lonely in your mind

they give me gift giving & words of affirmation vibes so

always making sure you're okay in a new/populated environment and will totally get you out if you need to leave

your feelings are his top priority

he's always open for you to talk to him, he encourages it even if you don't wanna talk about it in therapy

they're extremely supportive, and seeing you slowly come out of the hole you were sinking into makes them so proud

"dude, you're unbeatable, you're so strong and brave, and I'm so proud of you, kay?"

FREDDIE BADLINU

you try to mask up your sadness around him for a while, hoping itd go away and you'd be fine again

he came over to your place with your favorite takeout as a surprise, and found you trying to wipe away and hide your tears at your desk

"Oh, lovely, what's wrong?"

gives you the biggest, warmest hug while you rant and open up about your feelings to him

obviously, as much as he tries to help and as much as he'd like to, he can't make your problems vanish

he doesn't wanna overwhelm you so he doesn't pressure you to do anything and always asks if you're comfortable in an environment, and if you'd be okay in said environment

constantly asking if you need anything from him or if he can do anything for you

through the day/when he wakes up/before you go to bed, he sends you messages about how much he loves you and how much he appreciates you in his life

"Don't compare yourself to people you don't know, I like you more"

"If you ever feel like you might hurt yourself, just call me, okay? I'll be here for you in an instant, alright?"

runs you a warm bath anytime you complain of a minor headache or a migraine

over time, he notices your wardrobe go from dull and plain to colorful and creative again

literally so happy that he sees that you're feeling even just a little bit better

he's very mature when you need to talk to him about things and if you need help, he's not judging

he loves cooking you dinner, even if he isn't really a professional chef

he strikes me as an acts of service & gift giving type of guy so I think that explains that

[theragethatisdesire]

hiiiiiii 🥰💗

i would love to hear what you think eren and jean’s kinks are 🙊 plz&ty

omg tiff....i have successfully packed so u submitted at the best time. pls allow me to answer this as well as i can without drooling.

nsfw below the cut minors dni!

Eren

eren is super into overstimulation. like wants to have you a sobbing mess before he even puts it in. loves when you beg him to stop (dw u have a safe word so he knows ur fine) but you wanted this? grinding on my leg while i was trying to work? you deserve this

very much a brat tamer. doesn't like an extremely submissive partner, he wants you to have some teeth with him, push back a little. it just makes it that much more fun to break you

i cannot stress how many photos/videos this man takes of you. HUGE diy porn guy. if he holds down on his phone background, it's a picture of you with his dick down your throat. look so pretty like this, with my cum all over your face. just one more picture, okay? now smile for me

dacryphilia. 2000% sure that he's into dacryphilia. again it goes hand in hand with the overstimulation thing. he just wants to mentally break you

marking fs. like you have bruises and hickeys all over you after every time you sleep together. literally even if it's just a one night stand, eren has to let people know you were his, even if it was just for the night

breedingkinkbreedingkinkbreedingkink. that's all i'll say about that.

absolutely develops a lactation kink once you're pregnant. everything about your pregnant body fascinates him

would totally let you dom him, just once or twice to get a feel for it. it's a little entertaining to him, how you try and hold him down, but you end up bringing him close to tears and he escapes the ropes you've tied him up in, and now you're really in for it

Jean

orgasm denial. look, out of the two, eren's actually the softer dom if you look into it, because he gives you what you want to an excess.

not jean. he loves to set little rules for you (no panties when you're out at dinner, no masturbating while he's gone on a long trip unless he asks you for a video) and secretly, he loves when you fall short.

just something about bringing you right up to the edge over and over again and then listening to you cry and whine when he takes it back from you really does it for him

also a dacryphilia guy, but the opposite side of the coin from eren. he wants you crying for him, begging him to help you because you're so strung out after the fifth time he's edged you

i actually see jean being into the rougher stuff more than eren- choking, impact play, etc. he loves to push you to your limits and see how much you can take

DEGRADATION. jean strikes me as such a degradation guy. bc you're his little princess, sure, but once the bedroom door shuts, what gets him hard is how you beg for him, reduced to nothing but a needy, whiny little thing after only a few minutes of teasing. "wow, you're that desperate for me? fucking pitiful, thought i taught you better. you can have it down your throat, or not at all. what sounds better?"

also really heavy on the breeding kink, but almost in a freaky, possessive way tbh. tells you he wants to knock you up so everyone knows that he takes you home and fucks you. 10/10 recommend.

cockwarming. jean is such a cockwarming guy and i will literally never argue this point. he's all about having all of you for himself, loves to cum in you and just snuggle after, not pulling out or anything.

also uses it to deny you. will make you sit in his lap, nestled deep inside of you, and like, read him a book or tell him about your day while you whimper and whine and try to move your hips

free use. again, one of those things i don't feel like i need to elaborate on.

this made me sweat. like panting in my bed. thank u tiff u have really fucked us all up with this one!!!!!

[fairytalesandfandoms]

Genuine question for people who were previously heavy users of Spotify but have switched to a different platform or stopped using music streaming services altogether: how did you find it? Did you have to sacrifice any significant functionality? Did you notice any impact on how you discovered new (to you) music, or the amount of it?

Feel free to go into as much detail as you like, both the good and the bad.

Notes/Context:

I specify 'heavy users' because someone who's like 'I only used Spotify occasionally so it was easy for me to quit' will have a different experience which won't necessarily be helpful to me. I've accumulated probably thousands of songs saved in playlists over 13 years, so... it's a lot and it's not easy to just buy/download them all at once, especially if you want to pay the artists (at the very least downloading is time-consuming, and if you're buying them it's a significant cost as well, which I would need to spread out over time). I am trying to go through some lesser-fave ones and delete them, but it'll take a long time and tbh I end up keeping most of them. At this point I could probably buy new music as and when I find it, but the impossibly huge backlog is a problem.

One of the biggest barriers for me is the need to change the way I've got used to doing things, so I'm trying to get a feel for how other people have found this aspect. Reviews don't really seem to be that useful for me.

I don't tend to use the more 'algorithmic' functions of Spotify much (recommendations, daily mixes etc.). A typical use will be like: I find out an artist has a new album out, I go and listen to it, I add the songs I like to one of my Massive Genre Playlists for future listening. Or I follow a link to someone else's Spotify playlist and do the same thing.

[piss-stained-jorts]

RIGHT

-claps hands-

some of you are new to this despair. it ain't fun. as someone who is no stranger to hopelessness, despair, fatalism, misanthropy, and an undying bitterness, I'll give it a go trying to offer some semblance of help. my soul has been a strange kind of melancholy for over 15 years. I experience a few seconds of true happiness once every few months. and yet, here I stand. I think it'd be better if the whole world burned, but I ain't holding a match. point is, it's entirely possible to keep going, even in this state.

even in saying this, I have my doubts it'll do anything positive at all. I'm doing it anyway. I do it with the same defeatism I experience when I go to vote in a deep South red state. a single drop of blue dye in a sea of red blood. I know, objectively, that nothing will come of my actions. I do it anyway. for selfish reasons, I do it anyway.

I'm not here to help you out of it. I'm gonna offer some advice on living on inside it. I don't know how to get out of it yet, either. I'm working on that. again, maybe it helps, maybe it does nothing. here we go.

I recommend booking a therapy appointment. this is my biggest, most helpful advice TBH. I didn't go for a long time. didn't think i could afford it. turns out, there's secret little things in the world to help you afford it. me, I went to healthcare.gov, found some cheap ass insurance, and now I'm in therapy for severe mental health issues. I'm getting a second therapist, too. there's some deeeeep rooted shit in me. there's very likely deep rooted shit in you, too, and it's a great time to find someone who can help dig it out. ain't a cure all, and you'll have to see it as a conversation instead of someone coming and fixing you. they aren't a knight in shining armor with all the answers, but two heads are better than one.

I also recommend poetry. not just reading it, but writing it. the angrier and sadder the better. every raw, honest feeling. do not judge whatever comes out. don't worry about structure. don't worry about making it readable. make vent art, too.

I recommend familiar, comforting foods. things that remind you of those pockets in time when you were warm and safe. old foods, old games, old imaginary friends. yes, the imaginary friend thing extends to grown ups. a positive voice that is only ever kind and loving to you, no matter what. it's your own voice echoed back, after all.

I recommend caring about people. it helps to keep you in this world if you have someone else in it you love so, so fucking much.

I recommend bitching. bitch about your feelings and the world and the state of things with someone who also wants to bitch.

I recommend sad, angry, bitter, hopeless songs, under the caveat that it won't make you want to kill yourself. if listening to sad music makes you wanna die more, do not do this. me, I find songs about dying and being miserable comforting because I feel seen and understood in a way I feel I have been failed. maybe that's not how your brain works, though. just be safe and don't die.

under no circumstances kill yourself. you don't want to die. your brain is coping and trying to take back a sense of control when you feel powerless, and that's the solution it can think of because it's straightforward. do not do this.

if a sense of hope does come, don't push it away. if it leaves quickly, breathe and enjoy the few seconds you have with it. don't berate yourself if you don't feel the way you "should." there is no should or should not with emotions or the lack of them.

I recommend finding something to do, or something to put off. me, I keep saying I'll write a book, make a game, do all sorts of things. maybe I will, maybe I won't. it's something to do or say I'll do in the future. a sense of purpose. even if I never do it, it's still there.

learn to see the worth in both the retching pain and the numbness. when I am overcome with despair and anguish, I find the worth in that I'm still able to care that much, that I have a consistent muse for my work, and that crying is cathartic. when I'm numb, I find worth in the cool, calm gray color that mutes my existence, and the lack of pain makes the boredom a welcome respite. it still blows, and I'd trade it for joy and hope any day of the week, but the joy machine doesn't work anymore. working on that one.

listen. listen. I don't know what the fuck the future holds. pithy statements of hope don't help me, so I won't give them to you. be there for your friends, be there for yourself, give space to your feelings. I know. I know these new feelings are scary. you've never felt them like this before. you're new to this, I know you are. I promise you, you can keep living. I promise you, it's possible to find little joys, even here in the nightmare. I know the feeling of drowning in the ocean with hardly a sail to keep you is scary. I know from lived experience that it's possible for it to become bearable. I still believe, though I'm not there yet, that it's possible to leave this dark forest. I am bitter and resentful and I feel cheated and I don't think feeling any of this makes anyone a bad person.

it hurts so much, I know. I know it hurts. I know words can't make it all better. this world we live in is not what it should be. you are so cherished.

[max-nico]

Songs to listen to for maximum Tails angst, as well as a run down of how I daydream to them

Enjoy, or don't, and feel free to add your own. I'm always looking for new music recommendations.

Multiple paragraph incoming, you have been warned

The Tornado, Owl City

Starting off with an absolute BANGER !!!!! I'm obsessed with Owl City so don't @ me about this lol. In this song Adam Young is telling a story about a young boy delivering papers on his bike, when a tornado hits. Miraculously, he survives.

To me, this song is about Tails gearing up to leave in the tornado. As he begins to fly over the ocean a storm hits, and eventually turns into a tornado. As the music crescendos the storm gets worse, and eventually the plane crashes into the ocean (specifically at 2:05, you can't tell me it doesn't sound like a Wii sports snorkeling mini game). By the time the lyrics come in he's grabbed the chaos emerald from the back of his plane and he's trying to get out of the water. At the line "the shadows slowly melted as I was hunkered down" Tails spots angel island and he flies up there and it's a happy ending yayyyy

I Was an Island, John-Allison Weiss

Honestly I don't have like a particular scene or daydream to this. This song just makes me feel things when I listen to it, and I think Tails would really relate. I think specifically NINE would relate actually, but any Tails variation will do tbh

"I can't do this alone anymore, I'm no good on my own anymore. What did I do to do deserve this? What did you do to me? Baby come back, you know I don't wanna be free." Is just something I feel like Nine would relate to idk

Bugbear, Chloe Moriondro

I don't have a particular daydream to this one either but this song is so Tails to me. This is so him. Y'all aren't listening she said "my brain is surrounded by school kids who all got their valedictorian course, while I couldn't care enough about my 3.8, no matter how hard I try I'm still not trying hard enough to be... Great." YOU'RE TELLING ME HE DOESN'T RELATE TO THAT ?!!?!!

Talk To Me, Cavetown

This is so Sonic talking to Tails to me. "You don't have to be a prodigy to be unique, you don't have to know what to say or what to think, you don't have to be anybody you can never be, that's alright, let it out, talk to me." Is something Sonic has said to Tails at least once and you can't convince me otherwise.

This song is just so comforting. Listening to this makes me warm with brotherly feels.

Vanilla Twilight, Owl City

I used to cry to this song, so tread lightly sympathetic criers lol.

This daydream takes place sometime after Sonic Frontiers when Tails decides to go his own way, leaving Sonic by himself. It switches between their POVs depending on the lyric. For example, one of Sonic's lyrics is "cause I'll doze off safe and soundly, but I'll miss your arms around me, I'll send a postcard to you dear, cause I wish you were here." And one of Tails' lyrics is "I'll find repose in new ways, though I haven't slept in 2 days, cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone."

They'll reunite someday I swear

Overgrown Garden, Beetlebug

Ow ouch ffff-ouch ouchie owwwieeeeeee ಥ⁠_⁠ಥ sorry guys this one involves major character death lol

So the actual song is about an abusive relationship using flower metaphors and symbolism, but I didn't know that when I started listening so this daydream has nothing to do with that. With that being said...

Every chorus is Tails at a different age wondering if Sonic will abandon him, no matter how much Sonic reassures him the thought just sticks in the back of his mind even if he doesn't voice it. Things don't start to get juicy until the 3rd verse, "The rhododendrons crimson flame, set fire to the sleepy air, and lit the early morning haze, that glistened in your tangled hair." I understand that the flame is a metaphor and there's no actual flame but I don't care, in my daydream there's actual flames because Sonic and Tails are in the middle of a flower field that's been engulfed in them.

At the lyric "You place a crown of marigolds on my head, and then you said, as you tried to pull your bloody hands away" Sonic is laying against the only tree in sight, a big bloody wound in his abdomen with Tails trying to stop the bleeding. And then when the chorus comes in again, it's Sonic comforting Tails while he bleeds out on a battlefield. When Tails asked "I wonder if you'll leave me, behind someday, among the wildflowers and lilies, sleeping by the way" he meant like runaway and abandon him on an adventure, not die in a burning flower field you idiot ಥ⁠_⁠ಥ

Blue Hair, TV Girl

For maximum feels, listen to Vanilla Twilight directly after listening to this

I feel like a lot of y'all are already gonna know this one, and I respect that. I'm not super sure what this song is actually about but I like their funny words so it's okay lol

This is another song from Sonics POV to me. It's Sonic talking to his friends at different times about Tails growing up and not needing him anymore. In this case, Tails has to "cut her blue hair off" and Sonic is the blue hair if you couldn't tell lol like "and I tried, to hold her, but it didn't really last long, she's getting older. I guess she's gotta cut her blue hair off".

There's also the line right before that one "what seems so blue in the sunlight, by the night was a pale green" blue and green are literally their eye colors this song was meant for them.

This isn't all of them, we'd be here all day if I listed every single one lol. Don't be surprised if I follow up with more song rec posts bc I love talking about music, and please give me some recs as well

[yuurivoice]

Not to tell you how to do your job or anything, and I don't think it's the audience's place to give suggestions when this is YOUR profession, it's just a small idea that occured to me.

But maybe in the upcoming Auron audio you could add a little note on the screen saying that new Auron content is coming soon, and then like do the same with future compilation videos, since they tend to do so well!! Like to let people know that if they like the characters, this is not where the story ends at all and they should stick around. I say this mainly cause I remember you once talked about how the major numbers on the Finn compilation didn't translate to a major increase in subscribers. Really hope this didn't come off as rude, I just think maybe if people think the compilations are the ENTIRE story it might not occur to them to subscribe!

It also might yield no results at all, idk. I just remember I didn't subscribe until multipleeee videos had been recommended to me over MONTHS, mainly because I had no idea that there was a story to be followed.

I've written like three different responses to this but as I yap on I get new conclusions and ideas. This is v3 of my answer lmfao.

Preface: People don't pay attention to shit and unless you are clever or use a hammer, they do not care. They want the content. ESPECIALLY if they aren't familiar with you. This makes any deliberate Calls to Action run the risk of annoyance rather than making a meaningful impact on conversions.

Bonus note: If a video is scheduled to premiere, there's nothing I can add to it at this point without doing a whole reupload, giving Thoo a bunch of extra work, and all that shit. So that wasn't ever an option anyway.

My approach in this current iteration of how I do things is that rather than slob on somebody's knob begging for a sub, they're encouraged to either watch more videos or go to the homepage. My working hypothesis is that you're actually MORE likely to get a curious viewer to drop by your homepage before they subscribe, because they want to see what else is available.

The most recent changes I made to the channel homepage should make it abundantly clear that there are multiple stories, characters, and styles of content to jump into. Making sure that the homepage is great has probably made a massive difference in that regard, without impacting the videos themselves.

Playlists are horribly underutilized in this niche in particular, and on lots of YouTube channels really. So I made sure to try and nail that down. Still need to get the channel trailer locked in but tbh I don't know how effective those really are in 2024.

All of that being said, a ~15 second welcome intro at the start that explains what the compilation is and invites viewers to sub/explore the playlists would probably be the easiest way to accomplish that without intruding on the listening/viewing experience in a way that feels desperate or pander-y. That in conjunction with the end screen prompt would probably be the easiest way to do it.

I don't feel like that immediately turns massive hit videos into untapped wells of subscribers that I missed out on, it could help contextualize things a little more and who knows, maybe it WOULD be a big deal. Hard to say!

The context for me not immediately being like OH IT'S A SLAM DUNK HOW DID I NOT THINK OF THIS is because I run a very lucrative business converting viewers to patrons and I have very minimal in-video notes about hearing the spicy bits on Patreon. People often figure things out for themselves if they're motivated enough, and you run the risk of chasing them off if you come across like a desperate ass hoe. lmfao

I appreciate the ask, but also can assure you that I've spent several hours mulling over these very specific issues and I've considered just about every angle. If I had included every little detail and wrinkle of information I was cooking up in the various iterations of this answer it would be a mile long. So trust me. I've thought about it in great detail, have worked with people on it, workshopped things and much more!

Y'all got me yappin' up a storm on here lately. lmfao

[katyaromanoffpetrova]

Hey bae, I promised I would send this so here I am🫡

The album Clancy by Twenty One Pilots is soooo Kat coded imo. So yk how I get carried away with asks right? Today I shall give you explanations of every song I think is Kat coded and why😁

Next Semester: while the beat is up tempo and catchy it’s actually really fucking sad. It’s about how he(the singer) almost attempted to unalive himself. Which obviously has similarities to Kat’s backstory. But then the song goes “can’t change what you’ve done, start fresh next semester” which is obviously representative of how Kat has gotten past everything she’s done wrong and is now in a better place.

Backslide: one of my favs off the album. It’s about slipping back into that darkness he’s felt previously. He says “I don’t wanna backslide to where I’ve started from, there’s no chance I will shake this again” which I think really represents Kat’s mental health and it being such a slippery slope. And then (my fav part of the song) in the chorus it goes “‘cause I feel the pull, water’s over my head…..” and then it goes “I’ll take anything you have if you could throw me a line” which is like when Kat checked herself into the mental health place just desperate to get better.

Routines In The night: when he sings “walk the layout” he isn’t talking about a building but actually viewing his mind as a place to explore. “Some doors have “stay out” spray-painted in white” refers to bad memories and trauma which I think portrays Kat very well. Like she gets in her head a lot and has to be careful not to think so much about all those bad memories

Vignette: this one has major substance abuse themes which obviously represents a certain time in Kat’s life. But a line that gets me in this context is “….To pitch the greener grasses and hope that she would agree” in the song context this about him being scared to lose his wife to the greener grass, aka people not as broken. Kat has had so much guilt and fair over what her state does to Nat :(

The Craving (Jenna’s Version): is about his wife and honestly Kat could’ve written this. It’s about realising that he’s the ‘unstable’ one and the one who needs some extra support. “But I swear that I will give more than I take away” really gets me because we all know Kat has felt so guilty over how much support she’s needed.

Navigating: is basically about the never ending battle with mental health and trying to navigate that. “But when our fingers touch, I feel my way back home” is just very cute and could be about Nat bringing Kat back to reality when she has her panic attack moments.

Snap Back: is about relapse and being afraid to lose all the progress you’ve made with overcoming your demons. Representative of Kat having hard times and break downs but having to continue to fight and not lose her progress.

At The Risk Of Feeling Dumb: this is about having to check on your friends and make sure they’re okay but the chorus is from the perspective of the person with mental disorders. The whole chorus represents how Kat feels imo, just her not wanting people to drop anything for her and not wanting them to see her when she’s in a dark place.

This may be my longest ask yet tbh but you should expect this by now.

Also if anyone has album recommendations pls gimme🤲 not just u but anyone who reads this and wants to comment. I need more music👹

Omg I'm so impressed by your dedication 🤯 This is crazy. I listened to big parts of all the songs and although some of them aren't really my thing, l do see the connections you make to Kat.

I don't really have to explain it because you did so amazingly in your own explanation of the songs, but it just shows once again now complicated of a character Kat actually is. Her mental problems aren't just that: hers. They affect so many people in so many ways, and there's so much more to it than you'd think.

Leaving the past behind and starting over, being afraid to fall back, being scared your wife will leave you for someone better (and understanding completely), wanting to protect your loved ones but also needing them to survive.

She's so many parts in one, and that those songs portray a lot of them in one album is crazy

[nudgeling]

I've had a resurgence of listening to First Aid Kit recently so I decided to pair up a bunch of their songs and lyrics to traffic characters and ships. I'm surprised they’re not more popular in fandom spaces since they’re pretty similar genre-wise to both Crane Wives and the Oh Hellos, so consider this is my community pitch (+ commentary cuz i wanna)

Fleeting one - BigB

"My love is a fleeting one / My man could be anyone / And our love is a setting sun / My life is fleeting one / My work is just a web I've spun / Oh, my life is a setting sun / Baffled by the lives we were lent / We met the end too soon / I was honest when I told you / We're as cryptic as the moon"

BigB has a bit of a history with wavy loyalties. The secret soulmates with Grian, betraying Cleo, and most recently tricking Skizz (I know that was resolved but a pattern is a pattern my man). And well, not that I have any clue what the man's up with all the cryptic gaslighting but I feel like that applies as well.

The lyrics outside the chorus seem to be about a couple falling out of love, but I like to apply it to him and Cleo, which still fits fairly well. Angst galore ofc.

Wolf - Pearl

"When I run through the deep dark forest long after this begun / Where the sun would set, the trees were dead, and the rivers were none / And I hope for a trace to lead me back home from this place / But there was no sound there was only me and my disgrace"

Scratch this being the most Pearl-like FAK song, this is the most Pearl song ever. It's basically what started this whole project. All the lyrics and all the vibes just screams DL Pearl. The song is also a bop, one of my personal favs, if I were to recommend just one of these to listen to then this is a strong contender.

Josefin - Martyn

"You go home with feet bare in the snow / You raise up your head to the dead / You seek of such magical things / And nobody knows where you've been"

This smells of watcher lore guys. Don’t have much more commentary than that, it’s just watcher lore straight up.

King of the World - Lizzie

"I keep running around / Trying to find the ground / But my head is in the stars / And my feet are in the sky / Well I'm nobody's baby / I'm everybody's girl / I'm the queen of nothing / I'm the king of the world"

The lyrics is giving Last Life Lizzie, but it’s also one of the more whimsical-sounding songs on the list which feels very Lizzie in general.

I'll admit the rest of the lyrics isn’t particularly easy to tie into the life series since there’s a bunch of specific modern references like going to the airport and traveling through states, but I love the song way too much not to include it. Might be the personal favourite.

Rebel heart - Desert duo

"You told me once I have a rebel heart / I don't know if that's true / But I believe you saw something in me that lives inside you too / Now I all I hear is the wind / There’s a storm coming through / Did I misplace or forsake my love now that I gave it to you?"

Picking just one lyric section from this song was difficult. Every single word, top to bottom, fits Scarian like a glove. It also slams in a "But I know you truly saw me / Even if just for a while" which just MMMM. Makes me wanna bite someone.

I Found a Way - Treebark

"We play the game with skillful hands / And so I asked for your demands / "Give me your love, give me your gun" / And you traced us back to where we begun"

Tbh this song could apply to a lot of traffic dynamics but it had a lot of loyalty themes which is why I put it at Treebark specifically. That being said: man. It works so well. Specifically Martyn POV. The gun in the lyric above would ofc be the beheading, plus the song later mentions the protagonist having a lot of guilt and being prone to running. It's got C!Martyn all over it.

My Silver Lining - Skizz

"I try not to hold on to what is gone / I try to do right what is wrong / I try to keep on keeping on / Yeah I just keep on keeping on / I hear a voice calling / Calling out for me / These shackles I've made in an attempt to be free / Be it for reason, be it for love / I won't take the easy road"

This is another one where it just is Skizz. He’s probably been the most consistantly loyal and good-natured person in the series, doing anything and everything for his team. I feel this especially with how he was in Limited Life, being determined to spread some light into the world despite the game they found themselves in. When making this list I found that most of these songs could fit multiple dynamics/characters, but this is his song, full stop.

Stay Gold - Flower Husbands

"The sun shone high those few summer days / Left us in a soft, wide-eyed haze / It shone like gold / It shone like gold / But just as the moon, it shall stray / So dawn goes down today / No gold can stay / No gold can stay"

👏ANGST👏GALORE

Another one where I just want to quote the whole song. The song is all about grieving time periods and memories you can’t get back, to which I'm thinking late-game 3rd life, post-3rd life divorce or s1 empires characters having weird nostalgia. I go feral for all of it.

Bonus empires:

Heavy storm - Sausage

"I saw, I saw, I saw, I saw an old photograph / And the picture that appeared / Well, it took me back to the times / When she was around / She used to play that old mandolin / And the moon and the sea invited her in / I wish that I had told her by then / What she knew deep down / That she only wished that time would come back"

S1 Sausage angst my beloved. Or s2, could work either way, but I'm partial to s1. "She" could be either Pearl or Gem, however there is a "he" in the first chorus which is very much Fhwip. Like Stay Gold it’s all about grieving old times, so I like to imagine a post S1 Sausage grieving his old family :D

[cheolism-archive]

Hiii I recently became a Carat and as an avid fanfic reader, I was wondering if there are any stories you can recommend!! I have no member preference, as long as there is an interesting story (longer the better, if there are chapters even better). And i love me a good smut 👀

hi sweetheart!! first and foremost, i recommend checking out the other authors of svthub. here you'll find a variety of svt writers!!! as of right now we're doing our spring collab, so def check that out!!! note that i only have a few members on here (gyu, joshie, hoshi, kwannie)? i didn't realize until i finished that i only had these four???? idk if this is my subconscious trying to tell me something but i'll continue to ignore it!!!

my personal faves are all reblogged under fic rec, but here's some that have stood out to me since reading~

spoiled by @wonusite ; KMG

"summary: you have never been spoiled, but that changes after you meet the man your mother is going to marry."

it's got four parts and is so fucking disgusting and wonderful it's ridiculous. it's seriously a marvel to humanity tbh and when aliens come and ask for a relic to prove that humans deserve to be spared from their alien wrath, i'll give them these fics <3

acouasm by @angelwoozi ; HJS

"n.) a ringing noise in your head — and it's just three words of promise whispered by yours truly during moments of sorrow, or moments of joy. the whisper also lives in the crevices of your mind during moments of pleasure, when he makes love to you, his true love."

it isn't necessarily long, but it is so fucking sweet and artful? in my tags i described it as truly belonging to the golden hour, and tbh i still stand by it. it's incredibly tender and freya's way with words reminds me of ancient greek and roman statues; there's an era in art called neoclassical, where artists mostly focus on depicting mythos and creatures from greek, roman, and christian lore. like, an angel with outstretched wings, her shawl expanding and wrapping around her, heaven's spotlight surrounding.

to the brim by @toruro ; KMG

"description: all your sweet husband wants is to put a baby into you—is that so bad?"

LISTEN mika writes some of the filthiest shit, i'm not even kidding. idk how her brain comes up with some of this stuff? somehow she KNOWS all of my deepest kinks and secrets and just writes them like they're NOTHING? truly a menace to society and we should all be on our knees thanking her.

bluff and nonsense by @thepixelelf ; KSY

"

“Soonyoung? Yeah I know him, you should too. He’s on the uni’s dance crew, and ever since he joined them, their popularity’s skyrocketed. I’ve met him a few times, great guy — got a tendency to run his mouth but hey, no one’s perfect. He’s smart anyways, probably knows how to deal with the consequences, right?”

or

Soonyoung never thought one bluff could lead to so much nonsense."

this fic fuckign RUINED ME. the others don't have as much plot as this, but even months after reading it still remains one of my favorite fics. i've been meaning to reread it? but i just haven't gotten to it, but i know i'll still feel the heartache and betrayal all over again, it's just that good. like it's so good you can feel the stabbing in your heart and tummy :(

vanilla by @milfgyuu ; HJS

"Summary: Joshua has a secret but perhaps it’s not really a secret at all. Maybe you’ve just refused to see it in an effort to keep your feelings at bay."

probably the dirtiest fic on this list. it's absolutely wild. there was NO preparing for everything in this fic? it's insane. absolutely insane fr. like -- even reading the tags can't prepare you. reader wasn't prepared and i really don't think ANYONE ever could have been.

stay-at-home husband/dad mingyu by @celestiababie

it's what it says! stay at home gyu who is willing to help his darling breadwinner spouse with whatever they need :) it's got multiple parts and such, and it's so cruel that it exists because it'll occupy my thoughts every once in a while and then i just have to stand there thinking about desperate little gyu whining while a teacher is talking. will change your life, 10/10 recommend

pussy sport by @duhnova ; BSK

"synopsis: leave it up to boo seungkwan to almost suffocate between your thighs, eat you out till you’re crying, and to figure out a new kink of his."

when i turn 108 and am getting ready to walk off the edge of the earth, and they ask me my secret to living so long i'll think back to this fic and smile, and then suddenly i'll be brought back to life. it's this serious. every once in a while someone on the svthub server remembers it exists again and goes feral. and i completely fucking agree, we should be going feral over boo seungkwan 24/7. to not be feral over boo seungkwan and this fic is a cardinal sin, and not the sexy kind.

[lialovesstuff]

It's so interesting to me, as I grow older to see how some of the reactions these kids have are very mild considering that they go through the most traumatising experiences.

I was listening to the anubis backwards podcast interview with Brad Kavanagh (which if you are an anubis fan I highly recommend you go check out because it is super interesting), and he did mention something about how the reactions had to fall in line with the fact that it is still a kid's show. So the reactions could never be too strong.

Taking this, it makes me think about how mentally distressed these students are but they could never really express that because of the PG nature of the show. Having recently rewatched the show I realised how traumatising the things that happen to these kids are and how irl these things would affect a person mentally, but sometimes it makes you angry that these things are sort of just brushed under the carpet.

I want to start off by talking about my girl Patricia. She was gaslit by everyone around her, kidnapped, betrayed by the people whom she trusted would take care of her, has no memory of what we can assume is weeks of her life, and based on the whole Piper situation we can possibly assume she feels neglected or overshadowed. I think this is what leads her to not be vulnerable in front of anyone. Yet, we don't see her express her PTSD at any point after the whole nightmare situation with Rufus. I would have really liked to have seen her PTSD or trauma addressed in some form. For example, how her and Eddie becoming a couple helped her with her nightmares because she finally felt safe with someone and she finally feels like someone believes her and loves her unconditionally.

Then there's Joy. There is so much to talk about when it comes to Joy and I will forever be mad about how the writers address istg maybe 4 times since she came back. She was kidnapped by her own father, betrayed by her teachers, almost sacrificed to some Egyptian cult, had no contact with the outside world, had her education, friends and freedom taken from her at the young age of 16 (I assume), and after all of this still being forced to go back to school and be taught and associate with the people who caused all of this. I really hate how when she came back no one even asked how she feels to be back or just generally checking on her mental health. I’m surprised she went back to that school at all tbh. It was all business as usual and even she didn’t exhibit any ptsd symptoms. I think something as simple as just showing her being terrified of being left in the same room as these teachers would make for an interesting plot point, or talking to Patricia about how she feels scared going back to school. The only time when Joy does exhibit any form of PTSD is when they are forced to wear the robes in S3 and the poor girl literally looks terrified. There’s so much to unpack with Joy, so the last thing I will say is that in S2 I feel like one of her arcs could be learning to deal with the trauma and overcome it. Also it makes me so mad that none of the adults apologised to her.

Moving on to Eddie Miller. This boy has probably dealt with abandonment issues his whole life from his dad leaving. His whole 'rebel' persona probably came about from him not having a male figure in his life and was almost trying to fill that void or not being able to cope with his dad leaving. This is probably why Eddie finds it hard to open up to people, with the first person he truly trusts (besides his mum probably) is Patricia as he says multiple times that he trusts her and he tells her directly that he likes her, which he says himself was not easy for him. He does start to build a relationship with his dad but once again it is something that gets resolved in like 5 minutes and from there they seem to have the building blocks to start building a relationship. This is nice, don't get me wrong, but given that Eddie's dad has been out of his life for years and all it took was a 5-minute convo to get their relationship rolling seems unrealistic. In the conversation, Eddie does say "you didn't want me then, and you don't want me know", which I think is a very deep line for a nick show but still I think irl a boy in Eddie's position would have had a lot more of his true feelings and emotions flow out.

Jerome is a similar case to Eddie. A boy who struggles to reconnect with his father after years. I will say I always thought this arc was really deep for a nick show. A boy finds out his father is in prison and tries to rebuild a connection with him. I do have to say that arc of Jerome rebuilding his relationship with his father has a better pace in comparison to Eddie and his dad, but still, I do imagine a boy discovering his estranged father is in prison would cause a bigger reaction, but once again going back to the idea that it is a kid's show they had to keep his reaction relatively 'neutral'. Also considering that Eugene Simon is a great actor I think he would be able to represent those emotions really well.

Of course, there is still so much to say about all of the characters in the show, but I do find this an interesting observation also in line with what Brad said on the podcast.

[lonewolflink]

hey author! really liking WSC. I was wondering how did you get into itzy? there doesn't seem to be a lot of midzy writers, we need more like you!

hi anon! glad you're enjoying wsc :)

tbh i got into itzy sort of by chance/randomly? bit of a long/weird story lol...

i've listened to kpop on and off for a long time but never really Got Into It in a stan way (when i was in college i definitely had (and still have) a ton of blackpink on my gym playlist, and i always really liked mamamoo, but i wasn't really paying attention to kpop culture at all or any content beyond the music itself). probably the closest i ever got was bigbang, and that was only because of my massive crush on taeyang :P

i'm in the last year of my phd program right now (if i'm able to finish my dissertation by the end of june, i'll defend and graduate in july! dr. link!!), and from what i saw in my time in grad school i knew the last year basically drove every phd student completely insane.

instead of trying to curb that insanity by becoming a mildly functional alcoholic or smoking too much weed i basically decided i'd funnel that insanity into FINALLY trying to understand kpop beyond casually listening to it, like understand the culture and the standom and the whole thing.

i knew i needed to pick a group to stan in order to do that, and i didn't want it to be blackpink even though i like them, since they release music so rarely (lol). so i was like ok you know what i haven't really listened to any kpop after 3rd gen. lemme see what 4th gen has to offer!

none of the 4th gen boy groups really caught my interest in a serious way (though i do really like some songs by stray kids and enhypen), so i turned to 4th gen gg. and like. holy shit 4th gen is literally the girl group golden age???

i was sort of listening around to some of the different 4th gen gg and really enjoying them, trying to find the right one for me, and then itzy's none of my business mv came up on my recommended on youtube, and i'd seen their name around. i clicked and...well. i was hooked.

i watched a bunch of the classic mvs (dalla dalla, wannabe, mafia), that one clip of lia singing can't take my eyes off of you, and like one compilation of OT5 being silly and chaotic. after that it was game over, i knew i'd found my group.

(and also i kinda love an underdog story; i think itzy's supposed "fall off" has been greatly exaggerated and with the overhaul of div 2 employees (...hopefully the marketing team) i am curious to see if they can recapture the 4th gen gg crown)

i wasn't at all expecting to write fic, tbh, especially not for a kpop group! i've actually never done it before, except maybe once when i was 13 and then immediately regretted it because i was bad at it lol. but in one of the most stressful years of my life, it became a really nice creative outlet for me, especially because i don't really have anyone irl to talk to when it comes to kpop and itzy.

in general, i've found midzys to be such a warm, welcoming group, at least here on tumblr and in the comment section on AO3 (i try to stay off twitter as much as possible).

and i didn't realize initially when i first stanned itzy, but turns out the whole jyp fam is really awesome! obviously the company has its issues, like any kpop company, but in general the jyp Vibes are really fun, and i've enjoyed listening more and learning about twice, skz, nmixx, etc.!

since my original goal (i guess?) was to understand the world of kpop, itzy ended up being the perfect group because, well. they have done almost every sub-genre of kpop at some point. they really can do it all! and as a group they've been on top, they've had their name raked through the mud, they've had a member on hiatus (...literally announced right after i decided to stan, RIP), been in a big transition period...

yeah man idk. it's been so interesting and fun to follow their journey, learn a lot about the kpop machine, do some really fun creative writing, give in to the insanity of being a stan, and listen to some really great music along the way. :)

anyway that's how we got here! sorry for the long-winded answer hahaha i guess i could've just said "last year of my phd program, went insane, instead of becoming addicted to drugs or alcohol i decided to become a kpop addict and my drug of choice is itzy" :P

[ndjournal]

Possible TW? But dw I don't talk about any specifics/details! Not trauma dumping.

So I like many others came to ND from LOA. I didn't have a ton of success with LOA, a lot of it was in vain (lol) but I did succeed in a 'major' way once, I "shifted realities" using LOA to one where a friend did not leave me on delivered for several days but replied almost immediately after I messaged him. The context is we had a falling out over a year ago and hadn't talked since and I really missed our friendship so much. So after the 'shift' we started talking again and it was really nice. Then I found ND and knew I would one day have to let go of this beloved friendship to realize Self too. Recently he suffered a personal loss and is in the process of grieving. I was really sad for him and let him know he could talk to me whenever and I'd be there for him. That was over a week ago. Then yesterday something bad happened to Vanessa. She could have fought it but she decided not to fight the dream. She surrendered and gave up. It was really unpleasant for her to feel all those feelings but I just observed..

***For clarity: I actually don't recommend just surrendering if your basic safety and wellbeing is at danger, guys. Please do use common sense. I don't entirely agree with ND teachers about surrendering when it comes to this part; literally none of the major ND books address anything about trauma/abuse. In practice, I told ego and body it wasn't real and surrendered but there was still a physiological trauma response that the body had to process, nothing was happening consciously in my mind in terms of thoughts but there were a lot of involuntary physiological responses. yes I was observing but was it necessary to watch the body to suffer immensely? I don't think so. Suffering is unnecessary for self-realization, don't impose that condition on yourself. I'm learning through personal experience to follow my own truth to Self and not just take on everything that the books teach at face value because I don't think some of their advice is all that practical***

Anyway, after what happened, I observed Vanessa and the body was really conflicted in many ways despite trying to distance Self from it. I thought of my good friend who was also suffering on his own and really wanted to reach out to him to check on him. I had held back on this because again, self-realization = letting go and letting things happen in the dream without doing anything? But how can it be wrong to have love for others and extend compassion? Vanessa didn't want to do it to gain anything, she just wanted her friend to be okay. That can never be wrong. I decided that teaching can fuck off in this case, I can do what I want so long I don't forget Self when I act.

So Vanessa reached out to her friend and he was surprisingly really open to her in ways he never was before? Something he never was before and she really appreciated it. Then he suggested catching up?? This is something that she had imagined and wanted to manifest for YEARS. And it just happened just like that? Things just happen on their own when you surrender.. Again guys, I don't recommend doing what I did for that specific scenario (I won't specify what happened). I'm only sharing to show the power of surrendering, I do NOT recommend surrendering in cases where your body's basic safety/needs are in jeopardy, that is unnecessary. PLEASE do not do that. I decided to surrender in that situation but you don't need to be in such a situation to surrender; you can surrender at any time.

Most importantly because of all that happened, I learned to listen to my own Self above any of the books. Fuck what the books/realized masters say if it doesn't sit right with you tbh; Ada said your greatest guru is your own Self and I 100% believe and trust in that above all else now. That would be my greatest advice of all for everyone from this experience. Not all of the teachings are actually practical or compassionate in taking into account any trauma/crisis management. It's fine for your body/mind/ego to protect itself as you observe, just remember you are Self and not what you are observing.

And if anyone's wondering, right now I am still observing my body process everything (mind never identified with it so mind is okay, but body stores trauma (not something I decided lol, just part of the dream) and reacted to it) but I am treating ego and body with gentle kindness and patience. *I* know all is safe, well and okay and we have learned a great lesson so it's all okay. This knowing has actually managed to speed up the healing and I don't think there's any long-lasting trauma effects either (Vanessa has used spiritual healing to help too though).

I used to keep checking for instant materialisation when I first started but I've given that up now lol. That just created too much pressure to realize Self and is backwards to letting go of desires and ego. It'll happen when it happens. Whenever that is. I just know all is perfect right now as I AM and am at peace to just be.

You said this journey isn't linear and that's true. And here's a reminder from Ada: "As long as you don't lose sight of your real self, you're always doing the right thing. When you catch yourself getting too involved with externals, just keep asking yourself ‘To whom it all happens?’. The final destination is the same, and the road there is shorter when you rely on your own inner voice."

So TRUST YOURSELVES ABOVE ALL ELSE, GUYS! And don't pressure your egos by putting time limits/deadlines on it. Just surrender and let go when it's practical and never lose sight of your real self. I'm sharing this in hopes that you learn from my experience and don't need to go through unnecessary suffering just for the sake of realizing Self.

Lots of love to you all <3

Oh anon, I'm so sorry you went through that.. :( but the way you handled everything is amazing and this lesson is so valuable. I absolutely agree with everything you said.

Ada said this to an anon who may have went through something similar:

I'm sorry such a thing happened, please do not allow anyone/anything to make you feel gross about yourself or any of your creations (thoughts/mind/body). Also don't feel like you have to live with that in any way and know you can change/revise it ever happening if it's weighing on your mind, this is your life and it's precious, and so is your body, nothing should happen against your will in your life ever, it is yours and yours alone to experience in the best ways. - 4dbarbie

Everyone please take care! Never take anything you read at face value and use it as a guide only, as a pointer. If something feels wrong, then don't ignore that. Follow and trust your inner voice above all else. Thank you so much for sharing. I'm glad you're safe and okay.

Lots of love <3

[spacenintendogs]

3 10 16or 17 for the httyd asks!!

3. Did you play School of Dragon? If so, what dragon(s) did you have?

i tried back in 2018 but my laptop couldn't handle it. i never got past the tutorial with toothless and immediately uninstalled it and then was still devastated when they shut it down :')

10. What are your favourite songs from the soundtracks?

the big 3: forbidden friendship, test drive, and romantic flight.

see you tomorrow is a BANGER

all of the jonsi songs!!

once there were dragons is also so good... listened to that on repeat after i saw the hidden world in 2019

16. What is your favourite plot arc?

edit: i realized this said plot arc and astrid's character arc doesn't rlly count but for plot arc: hiccup & snotlout's arc of learning to respect each other more in riders/defenders of berk. basically the screaming death arc!!

astrid's in the first movie... it's near perfect and her role in the story is so vital bc her mind being changed makes stoick's mind being changed so much more believable. astrid's arc is such an interesting throughline to see the movie through. astrid being the most viking like of the teens and taking everything so seriously only to decide to give hiccup a chance (yes she was hanging off a tree rlly high off the ground and then only apologized bc toothless was whipping her around as payback for her attitude lol) but once toothless calms down that's when astrid rlly sits back and gives toothless & hiccup a chance & you just. see her relaxed for the first time in the movie and smiling so wide and it's SOOOOOOO. i love her so much.

17. Do you read or write HTTYD fanfic? If so, give some recommendations!

i do both!!

for reading, i haven't done a lot & i am kinda particular abt what i read (i heed tags & stuff seriously!! they're there for a reason!!) but!! from recent memory & my bookmarks

promises, promises is by @artinandwritin and it's abt her httyd ocs and @beebooca's oc set post the hidden world (except the dragons are still there!!) and it's such a fun exploration of the effect things can have on oc characters based on what happens to the canon characters they're connected to!! it's very good (and i am honored to have helped beta read :'))

translations by @bignostalgias is a hijack fic where jack frost ends up on berk after following silver dream sand (and ends up becoming "alive" again) and there's the whole thing where he's confused abt how berk exists and seems to be behind modern day and dragons exist. everything is so thought out and carefully put together and i just can not wait for more!!

frowny kisses by @tysonrunningfox bc my snotstrid loving ass adores those losers so much and op has got them DOWN!! the original snotstrid person fr fr i am begging y'all to pls check out their stuff!!!!!!!!!

also fics by @eemoo1o-tfrmoo & @kolasharkattack are also rlly rlly good!!!!!!

and yea i write fics lol but i go through spurts of YEAH UPDATE LET'S GO WOO and then quickly losing steam & updates come rarely even tho they take up so much space in my brain bc writing hard :')

the summer snotlout jorgenson got laid is tied to my modern au & it's abt the brief period astrid & snotlout decided to try dating & obv they break up but hey. unrestrained summer fun :)

burn is a series following astrid & snotlout's friendship. there's only 2 fics rn but windburn is complete and heartburn is a work in progress. i have a few fics for series stewing around in my brain as well but!! yea!!

then there's the calm dragon nip provides which is basically my fishlout smokes weed fic and it's not even a year old yet & tbh i'm not happy with it at all but i don't regret it enough to delete it. u can read it if u wish but i'm not proud of it. c'est la vie.

and those are my most recent fics!! and then my docs are just. full of incomplete bullshit lol <3 ty!!